In a world without you
None of my wishes could come true, and so
Even if valleys of hell fire lie ahead
What I want to protect is you
Besides you, I don't need anything
Most problems are inconsequential
I don't ask for much, God I beg you
Let tomorrow be not so different from today
This body that gives out a sigh of relief at day's end,
There is someone that depends on it
It's no time to be depressed
Oh, mere numbers become special
When I tread with you, the world
Is breathtakingly beautiful
In the middle of an uninhabitable wasteland
You squeezed back my hand
Besides you, I don't need anything
Most problems are inconsequential
I don't ask for much, God I beg you
Let tomorrow be not so different from today
Announcements of war commencing,
Sounds of marching activists-- they cannot reach us here
In this room, I want to stay a bit longer
Oh, the smell of your skin is changing
Should the world of your generation
Be filled with doubt and avarice
The stars of the clear evening sky will still tremble
At the radiance of you
Besides you, I won't regret leaving anything behind
Most problems are inconsequential
I don't ask for much, God I beg you
Let tomorrow be not so different from today
However many times you ask me
I want to let you hear an answer
That always stays the same
No matter what you tell me
I will always worry
About your future
Let us accept this never-ending suffering,
And darling, carry on with our journey
Besides you, there is nowhere to call home
In heaven and on earth, nowhere
Beyond the black waves
I can sense the morning
A star that will never disappear begins to shine in my heart
Even sad songs will one day
become nostalgic songs
Invisible scars adorn my soul
Even if I fall, I get back up
If I'm unsure what to do, I stop
And I ask myself
What would you have done?
You are here inside my heart
Each and every single moment
I thought I had walked this road alone
But the beginning of it was you
It's a lonely road
But I'm not alone
That's kinda how I feel
There was a point when I let myself
Get a bit carried away by my own success
It's not so much that we live
As it is that something is letting us live
Don't just believe in things
That you can see with eyes
There are no traffic signs
At life's crossroads
Whatever I am doing, whoever I am with
This body is with you
Even though this road must be walked alone
I can hear your voice
It's a lonely road
You are every song
That's a fact
You are here inside my heart
Each and every single moment
Though we don't know where this road leads
I know you will be there
It's a lonely road
But I'm not alone
That's kinda how I feel
It's a lonely road
But I'm not alone
That's kinda how I feel
Hey everyone!
I'm sorry I kept you waiting!
Today, let's get fired up!
It's Friday afternoon,
but I'm not slacking off at work
I manage to catch a taxi right away (I jump in)
Destination: You
"Where to?"
Oh, just somewhere nearby
"This recession is bad for business"
"Mind the closing door"
Saddle the wind, ride up to the moon,
My seat is next to you
Suddenly I come to my senses, I feel dizzy
'Tis all but a Spring night's dream
Traveling Got you in my ride,
we're illuminating the asphalt
Traveling Where are we going?
Anywhere as long as it's far away
Traveling Rock it, more;
the urge to destroy
Traveling Go faster;
even though there's no need to rush
There's a song I wanna play to you;
Endless Repeat
It spurs on emotions;
all according to plan
Frolic with the waves, seduce the clouds
At last, we meet
Blame it on my youth, I give it away too quickly
‘Tis all but dust in the wind
Traveling Show off cleavage,
let's get more attention than usual
Traveling "Not here"
We have further to go
Traveling Lower the windows;
Fearless Mode
Traveling "I'm good here"
We're just going with the flow
Now's the time everyone starts to dance
Unable to hold it any longer,
tonight, secret wishes are throbbing
Now's the time everyone gets excited
Makuhari Messe!
Today's the final show! Let me hear your voice!
Traveling Got you in my ride,
we're illuminating the asphalt
Traveling Where are you?
The fun is about to begin
Traveling Rock it, more;
the urge to destroy
Traveling Go faster;
it's a bit scary to stop
If the sky isn't blue, why not spread a blue umbrella
The canvas is all yours
A white flag is only for when I give up
Right now, I am a matador, seductive in red
Under florescent lights where colors fade
I met you on a black and white chessboard
For a time,
we huddled together, unsure
A month has passed since then, do you still remember?
Just watching the orange sunset next to you
Should have been enough; Words are the source of trouble
I only wear black when I pray to the dead
A bright red smear of lipstick that I left intentionally
If you say
you can no longer paint imaginatively
Re-paint the canvas, as many times as you need to
A white flag is only for when I give up
Right now, I am a color that you don't know
Good evening!
Um...
thanks for coming today, from far and wide.
Today is my 20th debut anniversary...
I'm getting kind of bashful here.
Well, to spend such a day like this...
I'm not really into being celebrated,
you know,
I feel very awkward to be like the star of the party.
But here I'll just take it as it is and be happy.
I'm glad to be able to spend the day like this. Thank you!
Don't go making me cry from the beginning.
I was thinking I won't need to hold back near the end of the show but...
My makeup is smudging.
You know,
I said yesterday as well,
but this venue feels like a school assembly,
because there aren't any stand seats.
And I'm the not-very-authoritative school principle.
Before we proceed...
Those who are using smartphones,
please make sure you don't disturb other people.
Please make sure the screens are as dark as possible, flashes are off,
and if you hold them up too high you'll block the view of others
so hold them as low as you can.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Okay.
Now I sound a little like a proper principal, don't I?
Principal!
Oh, "Principal"? That's a new nickname.
I had "Big sis" before but "Principal".
Not bad.
So, because the floor is flat here,
people at the very back might be feeling the distance even more,
but I can see everything, like you putting your hands up,
and I even heard what you guys just said.
So let's enjoy this together.
Ok, so, that's how it goes.
Thanks.
I'm a prisoner of love Prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love
I'm just a prisoner of love Prisoner of love
I was lying without a care,
and laughing
And I got sick of it
Always looking for an easy way out
Wanting-what-you-can't-have-Blues
Everybody is yearning for peace of mind
We all have enough but steal from each other
Chasing the shadow of love
My days that were so boring began to shine
From that day that you came into my life
I felt alright even in solitude and in pain
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love
Through sickness and in health
Through storms and in good weather
We shall walk together
I'm gonna tell you the truth
I secretly choose the harder path,
and you cheer me on
That is why I call you my only friend
I no longer see
the point of pretending to be tough or being greedy
It's since the day that you loved me
I could be free and at ease,
but I'd feel empty, if I were all by myself
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love
Oh, we're almost there
Don't you give up
Oh, I will never abandon you, ever
If cruel reality tears us apart
We would only be drawn to each other more
I felt like I could try harder, and harder, without a limit
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love
Mundane, daily life suddenly began to shine
From that day when my heart was stolen away
I felt alright even in solitude and in pain
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love
Stay with me, stay with me
My baby, say you love me
Stay with me, stay with me
I won’t let you be alone
Juvenile delinquents, honor students, and teachers
They're all the same when they fall in love
The bass drum hitting my eardrums, the gentle stabs of hi-hats
A pre-chorus that makes me melt away, melt away
Your smile has given my heart a Critical Hit
Before I know it, I'm so elated, so elated
Come closer,
don't hold back
Even if you get injured a little
What's the big deal?
Kiss and cry
I don't like victim-mentality
I'd rather seduce you with my eyes, and be an accomplice
Father's been laid-off
The daughter is cutting her wrists
Mother's on a diet, on a diet
Everybody's flying solo in the night sky
The moonlight eases the loneliness
Today we're eating a Nissin Cup Noodle, Cup Noodle
Come closer,
don't hold back
Even if you do get injured a little
What's the big deal?
Kiss and cry
Don't worry, baby
All that overthinking and over-protecting
Don't you find it lonesome?
Kiss and cry
I just want to be happy
A little more, just a little more
I just want you to hold me
I'm such a damn coward
At this rate,
nothing will have changed by my next birthday
I just want you to hold me
I don't care if I end up looking like a fool
Be more courageous,
let me see you go all out
Even if you don't succeed
It's no big deal
Kiss and cry
So you've been hurt a little;
don't give up
Laugh it off and keep at it
What else can we do?
Kiss and cry
Be more courageous,
let me see you go all out
Even if you don't succeed
It's no big deal
Kiss and cry
Carry a love for someone,
mark its end, and swear:
This is the last heartbreak
Even sakura, shaking in the wind,
will blossom again eventually
The summer rain that began to fall
passed right along my tear
Glided ever so smoothly
Images that overlap with memories
Re-runs of an Autumn TV drama
Why do I keep taking
the same kind of punches?
Even then I guess I will keep fighting
That's the mystery of life
Carry a love for someone,
give it your all, and pray:
This is the last heartbreak
Even sakura, shaking in time space,
will blossom again
Over the repeating seasons,
the soles of my shoes get worn
Let go of the tension in your shoulders,
Keep the past stored away somewhere
It can't be that far from here
A landscape that is yet to be seen
The relentless pain in my heart, I want to overcome it
And get closer to you
I go round once, and come back
Just grasping at the empty blue sky
Carry a love for someone, mark its end,
and swear: Today is the first "good day"
Even sakura, shaking in the wind,
gently reach for you
I love you so, love you so, it can't be helped
That has nothing to do with this
I love you so, love you so, it can’t be helped
That has nothing to do with this
I love you so, love you so, it can’t be helped
That has nothing to do with this
I love you so, love you so, it can’t be helped
That has nothing to do with this
Thank you!
How many of you are on your own today?
Oh there are quite a few up front.
Are you on your own?
You were the first one who stood up, after hesitating a while.
Thanks. Thanking you is a bit strange
but I saw you.
Yes, actually, I can see you all quite well.
With contact lenses.
I have very bad eyesight, but I can see well.
So those who are alone are rather...
You know, I don't play live often.
And over this tour,
I reflected on the importance of having occasions like this.
Because otherwise I don't get to see your faces.
So I'm going to imprint your faces on my memory before I go home.
So show me your faces, ok?
I don't think many people are filming non-stop,
but I noticed yesterday and today
that very few people keep their smartphones up
in front of their faces.
It makes me very happy, yesterday too.
Not that you can't take pictures or videos;
I just want to say I'm happy when I can see your faces.
Those who are alone, don't worry and enjoy.
I'm watching you.
Ok, that's how it goes.
It's my birthday!
What? Birthday?
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday.
You're welcome.
What a courageous person.
Well,
today, I guess, is a celebratory day.
Not only birthdays, but anniversaries,
and maybe some of you have left your kids at home for the first time...
I guess everyone has something in their own way
that makes the day special...
maybe good and bad.
So let's make it like a year-end party today.
It's that time of year.
Some of you might even be anticipating something scary soon...
Yup, so,
let's keep it going like this till the end.
Always, I'd been on my own
Living, forgetting my destiny
And suddenly, I awaken in a stream of light
In the middle of the night
Stand quietly
at the exit
And shoot a ray of light
into the darkness
In this day and age,
promises probably make you even more doubtful
But I'm just saying my wishes out loud
Let me introduce you to my family
It's going to work out well
Always, the two of us
Always, I will be by your side
The light that is you, finds me
In the middle of the night
Enter
a noisy street,
take off
the mask of destiny
Let's stop
the pointless exercise of trying to predict where this is heading
And eat something delicious tonight
The future is so far away
I really don't know either
Don't complete it, keep improving on it
We can go one scene at a time
The light that is you,
projects my scenario
Let's talk more
about the imminent future
Turn the TV off,
and just look at me
No matter how good it gets, we still can't trust it
Even at times like this, I will be by your side
The light that is you, finds me
In the middle of the night
Let's talk more
about the imminent future
Turn the TV off,
and just look at me
...in the middle of the night
I'm close enough to see you smile
That's all I could ask for
If we're friends, it's not weird for me to be near you
I watch him touching you
Nights when unrequited feelings just keep accumulating
What am I to do?
You pretend to be unaware of my feelings
Your half-assed kindness
Makes me want to cry
Oh, we can't be friends, can't be friends, oh
Oh, the reason being that I can't help wanting to touch you, oh
Oh, we can't be friends, can't be friends, oh
Oh, the reason being that if I am not your number one,
It's all meaningless Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
If only I could confess, get this off my chest
Ha, who am I kidding?
I can lie so well,
but my heart is honest to a fault
I want to kiss you,
I don't want a hug
Let me have one kiss
The truth is...
Oh, we can't be friends, can't be friends, oh
Oh, even now, I can't help wanting to touch you
Oh, we can't be friends, can't be friends, oh
Oh, if you end up hating me I can no longer go on living
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Embarrassing fantasies
and impossible dreams
I'll just take them
to the grave
Oh, we can't be friends, can't be friends, oh
Oh, the reason being that I can't help wanting to touch you, oh
Oh, we can't be friends, can't be friends, oh
Oh, the reason being that if I am not your number one,
It's all meaningless Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Thank you!
Allow me to introduce to you, dancer Fukiko Takase-San!
Whoooa! Yay!
In the music video of the single "Forevermore",
I was suddenly required to do contemporary dance.
She was my choreographer, and since then she has become a dear friend.
Thanks for touring with me.
Let's hear it for her again.
That's how awesome you are.
Okay, we'd like to do one more song together.
Here we go!
I don't know... What do you think?
I guess I'm not really saying what I think
What if I did?
I don't wanna be rejected
Well, I guess I reject you all the time...
So what am I saying?
What if we... pretend that one of us will die tomorrow?
Or that we're strangers
Would that change things?
The back that is turned to me after "good night"
Reminds me of animals at the zoo
How many years has it been
Since we moved in together?
An issue that goes untouched
Alas, my techniques in satisfying myself
improve day by day
"The fool that dances and the fool that watches"
Might as well be the dancing fool sometimes
Having too much of it is problematic
But so is not having any
One needs what one needs
Just enough of it to make it through the day
Pride Pride
But I’m too proud Too proud
Too proud Too proud
A stranger's gaze excites me
More than that of the one closest to me
I just want to be touched
I can tell my friends
But I can't tell you
The priority has become avoiding arguments
Rationality and force of habit, all mixed up, uh, oh dear
A mother that complains about her husband to her child
From the viewpoint of the child:
It's more comfortable being around strangers
than being with family
"A man and a woman are at their best at the moment they meet,"
Beat Takeshi said in an interview I read on the internet
We changed each other
Our once opened hearts close shut And we cut
Cut
And sleep next to someone else just to see what it would feel like
I loved you We both tried and gave it our all
But in the end it's pride
We can't go back to beings friends
When I'm talking with you,
I think I appear calm or even low energy,
but to me, that's the usual me.
Hikaru Utada x Naoki Matayoshi Special Talk
-Usual. -I'm not trying too hard, you know,
Hikaru Utada x Naoki Matayoshi Special Talk
and I can tell that I'm talking comfortably.
I'm glad.
I'm so glad to be able to talk with you again.
Hikaru Utada x Naoki Matayoshi Special Talk ~ Humor in Despair ~
-The theme of this tour... -Yes,
"Laughter in the Dark" is
the name of a famous novel by (Vladimir) Nabokov.
It's not related content wise.
Simply put,
themes of "hope" and at the same time "despair"
were coming to my mind.
I love watching standup comedians;
I came across the show of this American comedian named Tig Notaro
and it was really good.
I watched her other shows too,
and it turns out that she'd been diagnosed with breast cancer
and her mother had passed away...
Some of the most terrible things in life,
illness and bereavement, had happened to her all at once.
Even in despair, she was still booked for shows
and she had to do them as a standup comedian.
But how could she under such circumstances?
She doesn't even know if she's going to survive.
How can she do comedy? No way.
So she asked someone for advice.
The reply was, "Then you should cash in on it."
So she went up on stage, and started off with:
"Hi, good evening, welcome everyone.
I have cancer. I was diagnosed with cancer. Hahaha".
So initially, the audience were...
Surprised, I guess.
The audience, at first, were like, "Hahahaha... What? What? What? Really?"
And the atmosphere changed.
But her talk is all real,
so you can actually laugh at it when you're listnening.
You know, after all, that's what humor is all about.
The comedy was so symbolic.
If you have humor,
you can shift your emotional gear no matter how much you are in despair.
You can shift your perspective, your way of thinking.
Right, right, right.
-Despair and laughter are somehow close. -Right.
I understand that despair is precisely the opposite of laughter,
but I also have an image of laughter existing at the end of despair,
and you spring back to life from there.
When you write about light or hope in your lyrics,
you're not just saying about light or hope;
they are light or hope that spring back
from despair or tough reality.
So when someone tries to express hope with just sheer power...
Power!
I admire the way they can do that, but I also think,
"I wish I had that strength but I don't think I have it."
But the hope or light you depict is something really relatable.
So to me, the theme is somehow comprehensible.
"Laughter in the Dark".
I've never used that phrase but it kind of fits my life too.
I can even make my stage name "Matayoshi Laughter in the Dark",
you know.
Well it's your tour theme,
but I can even take the stage name
-"Matayoshi Laughter in the Dark." -That's hot.
What made you aspire to become a comedian?
My father is from Okinawa.
When I was a child I used to go back there in the summer.
There was always a gathering of family and neighbors at night.
Whenever someone started to play the sanshin,
sanshin: Okinawa's traditional string instrument
everyone would start to sing to it.
My father was a happy drinker,
so he always went to the front and danced.
Then everyone burst out laughing.
I was a very shy boy back then, so I was like,
"Wow, dad's making people laugh so much.
He's amazing."
And this one time, someone said to me,
"Your dad's dancing so much to make people laugh.
You should join him."
I've never done such a thing in front of people.
So I was terrified.
But I didn't want to spoil the good mood that my father had created.
So for the first time, I made a brave move.
Then, because there was a kid dancing awkwardly,
I generated about 5 times more laughter than my father did.
Hahaha. I see.
I suddenly got a great reaction and it felt so good.
So for the first time, how can I put it...
I had a breakthrough
from the ordinary life to the outer world.
Breaking through your own shell.
-I see. -Right.
Having had such a good reaction and feeling great,
I went to the kitchen by myself
and was enjoying the sense of accomplishment over barley tea.
Then my father came up to me. I thought he would praise me, but he said,
"Hey, don't you get carried away."
He was jealous, just like that. He was a childish father.
-Because you got a bigger reaction. -Right.
So he said that,
but I still felt really good about doing something
and making people laugh.
I learned long after that,
there's a theory that the word "warau" (to laugh)
comes from "waru" (to crack).
-"Waru"? -Like "waru" as in cracking.
Ah, I see.
So that's said to be the origin of "warau",
which I can relate to.
Usually I feel as if I were enclosed
in a dark and thin membrane.
But when I get to make people laugh
on TV or at theaters for example,
I can get out of the membrane.
To put it in an ordinary way, it destroys the drudgery of daily life.
That is--
This is... what laughter is about,
right?
Right, right, right.
This kind of element of surprise...
Like just now, I was able to break out of the ordinary instantaneously.
Right.
It's exactly what I was talking about.
Excuse me, can I go to the restroom?
-Oh, sure. Go ahead. -Excuse me for a moment.
We'll take a little break. Go ahead.
Stop the camera. Please escort him.
He's not back yet?
I've sent someone to check on him, but it seems like his mood is...
Oh, what happened?
It destroys the drudgery of daily life.
That is--
-Let's roll the camera. Okay. -Okay. It's rolling.
What happened?
That was way too cruel.
I'm so sorry.
I thought that was what you meant.
Well, it was.
I did say "laughter destroys",
and you really destroyed the flow and the ordinary.
Then why didn't you laugh?
It hurts when someone hits you with a bottle.
Can you laugh?
I was talking damn seriously and then got hit with a bottle.
So embarrassing.
-What's funny about it? -Sorry.
We were just talking, I don't know how we ended up here.
Haha. That's true.
What am I doing?
I'm locking myself in here like a child.
No, not at all. I was really cruel.
I'm so sorry.
I mean, seriously.
But perhaps this is one form of humor in despair.
Well, this is not the right place to talk, so let's go back...
This is what you mean, right?
No? Um, what's wrong?
It's not right.
No?
No way.
Have you ever seen a conversation where one hits another with a bottle?
There are things that you should and shouldn't do.
I mean, when you came to the restroom and said sorry,
you already had a bottle in your hand, right?
You were thinking of hitting me again if you had the chance.
Wait a minute, you don't still have something in your hand, do you?
No, no, I don't have anything.
Now,
-calm down and listen to me. -Okay.
Laughter is, indeed...
...like this, right?
You didn't have a bottle.
What kind of system is this?
System?
-System... that's not it! AARRRGGH! -Oh.
Ah!
What kind of system is this?
-AARRRGGH! -Ah!
I didn't think you were such a scary person.
Hey!
I'm the one who got hit with a bottle three times!
Hey!
What's going on?
I can't sort this out.
Was she waiting for me?
I've made her angry.
So this is what despair is.
At any rate, she hit me so many times.
Matayoshi-san!
Utada-san, I'm so sorry.
Can you do the talk with me again tomorrow?
Will you forgive me?
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
So "humor in despair".
Right.
By the way,
are the lyrics to "First Love" based on your true life story?
I always wanted to ask you that.
Naturally, I'm curious.
Ah.
I'll be very in-your-face today.
I was 16 when "First Love" came out.
Back then, I had a boyfriend until shortly before the release,
and my friends were saying
"Hey, that song is about him, right?" which made me feel a bit unpleasant.
"No, it's not like that, lyrics are clearly poetry.
So they're not from my diary;
not everything is from my personal experience."
But neither my friends nor the world seem to understand that easily. So...
Hahaha, hahaha.
Hahaha.
Sorry, I was quite demanding.
No no no, you had to work with a total amateur in acting.
But you were taking a full swing with the bottle.
Because it felt really good.
(Music: "Ozora de Dakishimete")
Let's do something together again when I go on tour next time.
I'll come over any time to be hit.
Let's do a sequel.
That's an excessive use of burst mode.
I don't care much about destiny
But at this point,
I cannot but acknowledge its existence
Are you really sure you're happy with me?
Really?
I wish you wouldn't raise my hopes up too much
Today is the perfect day
For a truthful, eternal vow
We don't need beautiful flowers or witnesses
Let's wear rings of the same color
It's so damn annoying
That I want to fall asleep
clinging to you, every day
I will not make promises anymore
Those things are for pleasing somebody
What I am about to say is not a second hand line
Nor a promise; It's a vow
I can't go back to being the liar I used to be
Our rings shall be the color of the sunrise
Lay your heartbeat on top of mine And let's dance
Let's celebrate the fact that we live in this moment
The tears that I can't hold back sometimes
There's no deep meaning to them
It's just that I recall the past unexpectedly
(Ah, I want to cry)
A light streams in from the opened door
I want to be with you, for a very long time
Other options have long been gone
Today is the perfect day
For an unprecedented vow, our vow
We don't need beautiful flowers or witnesses
Let's wear rings of the same color
Kiss me once, kiss me twice
Once is not enough
Kiss me once, kiss me twice
Please give me you
Kiss me once, kiss me twice
Kiss me three times
Please
Kiss me once, kiss me twice
Give me you
Let's listen to the sound of the sunrise, side by side
Let's vow to live our lives together
I wake up in the middle of a dream
I shut my eyes, but cannot return
The world that was so vivid
is already but a phantom
You held me, balmy with sweat,
close to you
And carved into me
so many firsts
When I reach my hand to a swaying bud,
And my thoughts race to you
How long will it be, until it no longer makes me sad?
Please tell me
Today, I am not alone,
and I am somewhat happy
I tell myself
this is how it should be, but...
The days I lost my breath fighting un-winnable battles,
and burned for you
If I forget them, I will no longer be me
Tell me, the right way to do Goodbye
When I reach my hand to someone,
And my thoughts race to you
Things I want to ask you now, so many,
Overflow and overflow and
Trees come into bud, days and months go round
I wish I could tell you my unchanging feelings
There is the freedom to break free
The shadow of a person standing ever still,sending-off another
Memories grab me without warning,
violently, and won't let me go
I love you, deeper still
A midsummer shower that never ends
I wake up in the middle of a dream
I shut my eyes but cannot return
To the future, in which you existed until a moment ago,
I shall pay a visit, and so to tomorrow
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched thirst
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched thirst
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched thirst
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched...
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched thirst
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched...
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched thirst
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched...
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched thirst
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched...
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched thirst
A never ending, never ending rain
And a never quenched, never quenched...
You never wear make-up,
but that morning you did
Somewhere between a beginning and an end
I made a promise I would never forget
I shall give you a bouquet of flowers
My Beloved, my Beloved
No words I could place together
Will ever become the truth
So today, I shall give you
A tear-colored bouquet
If life was without its private struggles
and everyday loneliness
And was only filled with fun
I wouldn't have had to learn
What love is
I shall give you a bouquet of flowers
Things I'd like to say, things I'd like to say,
For sure there will be a mountain-load
But they will remain between just God and I
Today I shall give you
A tear-colored bouquet
Thank you, for all the dazzling memories
Too many to hold in my arms
Even when the whole world was raining
Your laughter was my sunshine
Even if it doesn't get through to you now
It is still the truth
Hold me, just once,
before goodbye
I shall give you a bouquet of flowers
My Beloved, my Beloved
No words I could place together
Will ever be enough to praise you
So today, I will give you
A tear-colored bouquet
Avoiding the high street
full of people homebound sure-footedly
I cover my ears with broken earphones
And almost mumbled your name
Nobody could ever replace you
This, at least, will never change
Even if you have betrayed me
I love you, I love you
You are the only one
Who incessantly torments
My cold, fickle heart
Others come and go
But you're in my soul forevermore
Forever and forever
And forever, it's so
Friends change, clothes go out of style
What defines me
is not a set of inculcated values
or acquired taste
That's what you taught me
The end of me
doesn't scare me at all
Just maybe,
even if I am born again, I might not forget that:
I love you, I love you
You are the only one
Whose absence makes me cry
When I know solitude suits me best
Others come and go
But you're in my soul forevermore
Forever, and forever
And forever, it's so
After the infatuation is over,
Forever, and forever
Without waiting for my final moment,
This, I can say for sure
Forevermore
I love you, I love you
Anything else is a digression
I love you, I love you
You are the only one
Others come and go
But you're in my soul forevermore
Forever, and forever
And forever, it's so
Thank you!
So going back to the 20th anniversary.
It's amazing. A full 20 years.
Yesterday I said to the audience,
"It's the 20th anniversary.
So it's fully 19 years and I'm going into my 20th year I guess."
But it was a full 20 years. It's amazing.
Hmm.
It's strange. 20 years.
It depends, but in many countries,
adulthood is from around 20.
Japan is so, too.
Last night I turned the TV on at an odd hour
and found out that every 20 years,
the Ise Grand Shrine moves the whole shrine.
They build a new one next to the old site
and the deity moves in.
It was on air at an odd hour so I don't think any of you saw it,
but I thought, "Oh, 20 years."
These days I've adjusted my life cycle
to bring my energy peak to showtime.
So I've been going to bed around 5am.
So it was really late hours I think.
Oh, why am I telling you this?
Yes, 20 years - 20 years is a strange milestone.
I really feel that.
And you know, having come this far,
I think, I should't feel relieved
but at least I can be amazed with that.
I've been on a long hiatus along the way,
but it's hard to believe.
Those who supported me from before have shown continuous support
and maybe we've become
even closer.
I feel the huge support.
How shall I put it...
I want to say "Thank you" to those who waited for me.
And I'm also very happy that there are people
who are new to my music and have just started listening.
Also I'm very grateful to the staff
who supported me during my hiatus, and saying okay to the hiatus.
So many things happened in the meantime
and there were times that I thought I may not be able to perform live again.
But here I am today, on my 20th anniversary,
spending the day like this.
I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but I'm so happy now.
Thank you.
So now I'm moving on to the next song.
Here we go!
Our last kiss
was the flavor of cigarettes
A bitter taste
Around this time tomorrow,
I wonder where you will be
And who you will be thinking of
You are always gonna be my love
If one day, I fall in love with someone again
I'll remember
that you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now, it is still a sad love song
Until I can sing a new one
Time, standing still,
is about to start moving
So many things I don't want to forget
Around this time tomorrow,
I know I will be crying
I will be thinking of you
You will always be inside my heart
There will always a place just for you
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Now, it is still a sad love song
Until I can sing a new one
You are always gonna be my love
If one day, I fall in love with someone again
I'll remember
that you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now, it is still a sad love song
Until I can sing a new one
My heart beating too loud,
my legs frozen, so unlike me,
The tear running quietly down my cheek;
They tell me
That this is my first love
I need you, I need you
I thought it was a given
That human beings
naturally fall in love, but
If I had never met you
I can't fathom that anyone would have ever
Made me feel like this
My heart beating too loud,
my legs running against my will,
The tear surely running down my cheek;
They tell me
That this is my first love
I need you, I need you
(Can I hold you like you are mine?)
All this time,
I was blaming things
that can't be helped On others
And feigning acceptance
If I had never met you
I might have gone on living
Without even knowing why I was given life
This fragile me that one word can break,
I want to dedicate to you
A season that will never return
was announcing its end
Awkwardly
I can see the thing that I want
Right there within reach
How can I possibly not chase it?
Whether it is the right thing to do or not
Nobody really knows
A young branch trembling in the wind
Slowly grows towards the sun
Little things brought us joy
Little things caused us pain
The maddening beating in my chest,
the rain that gently falls on my shoulders,
The tears I can't hold back;
They tell me
That this was my first love
I need you, I need you
I need you
Thank you!
Phew...
So today is the final day of the tour.
Strange.
Oh, I was...
I was going to say something after that talk but what was it?
I sang "First Love" and "Hatsukoi" and forgot about it.
Well...
Oh well. I'll tell you if I remember.
Let me get some water.
It's Suntory's "Minami Alps Natural Spring Water."
Phew.
The next one is the last song.
So I'll fire myself up for it.
Oh, that's right.
Hint: It's that, the thing I've just drunk.
So you guys...
It was the first time in a while for me to aim to create a song
that would just make me feel really good.
So feel free to flow to it how you like, and have fun.
So shall we...?
Okay, here we go!
When I am hurt,
I quietly retreat to introspection
You read into it too much,
and battle with anxiety
Hold me tight and don't let go
Why we fight I don't know
I can't speak for other people
But there are no hidden meanings _behind my words
I want to greet the end of the long winter with a smile
Being stubborn only makes it colder
I'm fed up with depressing conversations
Let me say that I love you
Can we play a love song?
The concern of friends
and childhood trauma
They're only footnotes
in our continuing history
Hold me tight and don't let go
Why we fight I don't know
I don't know since when my parents have been the way they are
But you and I, we will keep on growing
Let's try calming down for a second
I'm not trivializing it,
just saying you might be over-thinking it
I'm fed up with depressing conversations
Let's eat and laugh and go to bed
Can we play a love song?
Come here.
Don't go astray.
Hold me tight and don't let
go
I want to hold you
as if to say I will never let you go
It's alright for you to keep doubting me
But I'm fed up with depressing conversations
It's no wonder I feel the need to lie sometimes
Can we play a love song?
I want to greet the end of the long winter with a smile
Being stubborn only makes it colder
I'm fed up with depressing conversations
Let me hear you say you love me
Can we play a love song?
My girlfriend is so-so pretty;
amiable and sociable
My friends evaluate her
as a nice, cool girl
My girlfriend doesn't stick her nose
into my work and hobbies
Even when I get home late
she doesn't ask for details
The person next to you is me,
but not really me
It's tough being a girl,
I don't want to be thought of as a burden
My girlfriend doesn't bring up
topics we've been over before
Because I'm cool,
I don't ask unnecessary questions
Playing the role of the strong woman you desire
Has made me tougher
But how long will this go on?
Con-artists fooling each other
I want the courage
To want what I really want
I've been thinking lately,
every time we make love:
I want to invite you,
to a place much deeper than my body
I want to touch you,
in a place far deeper than your body
I want to invite somebody to enter
Somebody to find my truth
I want to invite someone to touch
Eternity, eternity
I have no aspirations,
my desire is to maintain the status quo
Someday, I know she will get sick of me,
boring me
I want to invite you,
to a place much deeper than my body
I want to touch you,
to a place much deeper than my body
I want to invite somebody to enter
Somebody to find my truth
I want to invite someone to touch
Eternity, eternity
I invite you
Thanks for calling for me!
There are still some songs I have to sing.
Before that, let me introduce my band.
On keyboard and percussion...
Actually I hired him for guitar but he can do everything!
Henry Bowers-Broadbent.
Whoooa!
And on drums, Earl Harvin!
And on guitar, Ben Parker!
And on piano, keyboards, and Rhodes, Vincent Taurelle.
And on bass, and bandleader, Jodi Milliner!
And this shining section is Udai Shika Strings!
And on vocals, Hikaru Utada! Thanks for listening!
You picked up the phone
on the seventh ring
I don't have to say my name,
you can tell who I am
Melodies fall naturally
from the lips
But the moments we lose words
are the sweetest
Days when something bad happened,
everything blows away when I see you
Days I can't see you, my rainy days
Hearing your voice will automatically make the sun shine
It's automatic,
just being near you
Just having your eyes on me
(I don't know why) My heart races and I can't say no
I just can't help
It's automatic,
when you hold me
It feels like we're in paradise
(I don't know why) It's blinding, and I close my eyes
I feel so good
It's automatic
Your ambivalent attitude
still makes me insecure
Just how much I'm into you,
I'll keep secret for a little while longer
Days when kindness only hurt,
you were always honest with me
Days when I can't cry alone, my rainy days
I touch the ring, and see, it makes the sun shine
It's automatic,
just being near you
My body heats up all over
(I don't know why) I can't conceal my anxiety,
it's hard to breathe
I just can't help
It's automatic
when I log in
and see on my computer screen
The flickering words (I don't know why)
When I put my hand against them,
I feel so warm
It's automatic,
just being near you
Doesn't make me feel affection for you
(I don't know why) I just need you,
it's not because I'm lonely
I just need you
It's automatic
when you hold me
It feels like we're in paradise
(I don't know why) It’s blinding, and I close my eyes
I feel so good
It's automatic
Thank you!
Phew!
So it's the day this was released. Alright.
So 20 years ago today, this song, "Automatic", was officially released.
Oh, I should have thought about that before singing.
I just realized. I see.
Right. Amazing.
That's the first CD I bought!
Oh, really? The first CD you bought?
I'm getting bashful. Thank you very much.
Thank you.
You know, I was 15 when this song came out.
After school I went to a CD store with my friend
and saw them on the shelves, and was like, "Oh, it's really out".
My friend tried it at the listening booth and gave me his pretentious opinion.
Very good memories, but it feels very strange now.
And nostalgic.
But you know, this song didn't become #1.
It was released in two formats so the sales diverged,
and "Dango San-Kyodai" was very strong.
It was #1 for a long time. "Dango San-Kyodai".
To be honest, it was so frustrating.
But it was a social phenomenon.
Everyone was singing "Dango San-Kyodai",
though I was watching them wondering why.
And my mother was #1 for 30-somthing weeks.
I remember I was really amazed by that.
Thank you, really.
Oh by the way,
did you enjoy the short film?
I heard a lot of laughter at the back.
I asked him at quite short notice, and he was kind enough to secure two days,
and wrote the script with all his might, to bring out that part of me.
Please give a hand to Matayoshi-san.
And although they're not on stage,
there are many people involved in this tour.
I can't count how many titles,
I mean, roles there are.
It's like, "What, is that done by hand?"
So many things are done by hand
to create the show.
If I just mention a little...
The sound crew that works, has been working,
eh, worked hard to make sure everyone,
including those at the back and on the sides,
no matter where they are, will get the best possible sound.
The lighting team have worked hard to present the best show possible.
The techs around the instruments, those who produce smokes,
the hair/makeup and costume people have worked hard and very late hours.
The monitor team, the venue staff,
the security staff...
And those who brought this huge set to so many places
and assembled and took them apart...
Sometimes it takes about two hours after the show.
I'm sure they can hear us, so please give them a heartfelt applause!
And you know what...
I wasn't sure if I should say this today,
but I'll take the opportunity anyway,
it's the 20th anniversary.
Occasions like this don't come along often.
It's just that I have two people to say thank you to.
I want to say thank you to my mother and father,
who brought me to this world and raised me.
First of all, of course, just as a human being.
I mean if your parents didn't look after you when you were a baby,
you couldn't have become an adult.
There's that.
And also, as a singer, and a musician
-If my mother hadn't been so passionate about music and my talent...
Ever since I was tiny, she believed in me and told everyone how amazing I was.
I wasn't the type to go in front of people.
So although I have always loved music,
I probably wouldn't have chosen this as a profession.
And in great combination with that was the fact that my father was my manager.
I don't think anybody else would have taken me seriously,
a 15-year-old girl, with an attitude like,
"I don't want to skip school
so I'll do very limited promotional activities".
It's like "What are you talking about?"
Other management companies may not have given me a shot.
Working with a family member is strange.
There are good things and bad things.
I see my father often, but cannot say this in person.
I'm a bit shy to say this in person,
but I'll take this luxurious opportunity to say thank you.
20th anniversary.
Let me say thank you for letting me come this far, 20 years.
That's all.
Oh, I said it!
Also, you had to go through a tedious application process
for the tickets to this show.
You had to send your photo; you had to go through so many things,
such as getting unapproved and stuff.
You took all this trouble.
And you put this day on hold such a long time in advance.
And today you've made good on your words and showed up.
Thanks to you all too.
You made my day special. Thank you.
So, this being the final show of the tour, I've been talking too much.
Some of you take the train to go home.
So I'll go on to the last song.
Yes, last song.
It's the last song.
Honestly, because it's the end of the tour for the first time in a while,
I was a little tired in the morning.
So I'm not sure if I was able to exude as much energy as you expected.
But I felt so much support from you today.
For this last song,
I will give you all of my remaining power so that you don't even have to help.
So let's go. Here's the last song!
After the sweet candy vanished
What was left was a lonely-looking boy
A cloudless summer day
Sunburnt limbs, not giving a single care
If her white frock gets dirtied
A paradise of the unconscious
There is no holding up the end of a dream
One day I learned your name
So goodbye loneliness
Singing along to a popular love song
The reflected image of me in your eyes
is smiling
So goodbye happiness
We can't return to
those days we frolicked unaware
But I can handle it; love me
Don't over-think it, and don't be self-destructive
It's all child's play, this fleeting world
It is in solitude
That one realizes the meaning of love
Days long past
Let me hear a comforting song
Do you still remember
how you felt in the early days when we met?
So goodbye innocence
We can't return
to those days we frolicked unaware
It's your fault; kiss me
Oh, all things under the sun go round and round
Oh, darling, darling,
I will not switch to someone else
Only you
Wouldn't it be great if we could live just the way we are
When it really matters,
the other me tries to ruin everything
So goodbye happiness
Wouldn't it be great
if we could return to frolicking unaware
Then baby, once again, kiss me
English subtitles: Hikaru Utada