Downloaded from YTS.MX
[MELODICA PLAYING]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
SAMANTHA: So where's everybody going without me?
Uh, some of us are going to this critical mass event.
Do you wanna go?
I just thought because, you know, you're...
-You drive that... -I have a bike, but yeah,
I'm pretty wiped from today.
-Rain check. -For sure.
Yeah, I think some people are gonna be live streaming it.
So if you want, you could... watch it.
Good to know.
-I'll catch you on the flip. -For sure.
-[CHUCKLES] -[MELODICA PLAYING]
Are you looking for someone?
We're closed.
No.
What are you doing here?
I'm the new dishwasher here.
Okay. You don't look like a dishwasher,
and I've never seen you before.
What does a dishwasher look like?
Okay, this situation is making me very uncomfortable.
Because it's night?
Or because I'm a man?
Or because I'm Black?
Or because we're both members of a destructive, violent, doomed species?
Or do you want to destroy me
because actually you long to touch me?
And that's impossible,
because we're on either side of an inviolable chasm
of history, race, gender and meaning.
[SERENE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
I know we're children of the same mother.
I'm sorry.
[SAMANTHA INHALES]
[SIGHING]
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE]
Does anyone have any questions?
I want to thank Courgette's manager and all around good guy Doug
for letting us use the restaurant tonight.
Go Doug!
And our melodica player, Mickey.
[MELODICA MUSIC PLAYING]
So any questions?
Oh.
[CHUCKLES]
Thank you all so much for coming
and enjoy the rest of the Fringe festival.
-Thank you so much. -Totally.
-Thanks for coming. -WOMAN: Bye, guys.
-Bye. Bye-bye. -See you, guys.
Bye, Mickey.
How was the show?
Wednesday nights are kinda low energy at the Fringe,
but, um, a person on the way out asked me if I had a real job.
Do you?
[SIGHING] Other than that, it was pretty great.
Big crowd?
Satisfying crowd.
I think I kind of reached them.
Maybe.
I don't want to get into anything.
We're gonna sleep it out. Okay?
Why did you ask about the crowd then?
Um...
Three. Three people, including Doug.
You said they were moved, though, babe.
They were. They weren't. There were three of them.
I'm 39 years old.
You're 39? I'd forgotten.
[SAMANTHA GROANING]
I'm 42.
At least you were famous.
Briefly.
That's... Thank you.
Hey, we have our pitch tomorrow.
Rainbow Farm at Hawk.
That's gonna work out great.
TRAVIS: You need to take it down a notch.
We need to go in there not...
Like this. Not all, "We're old. We suck."
How many times have we pitched this?
This guy gets it though.
-Corey. -Our savior, Corey.
[SIGHING]
I need you to be confident so I can be.
Makes sense, right?
How, though?
Since Rainbow Farm's a super old idealistic performance piece
that we wrote ten years ago when we were young and actually gave a shit?
Oh, and by the way, we're pitching it to Hawk?
And it's about saving the goddamn world from the goddamn people
who watch goddamn Hawk in the first place.
-Dark. -[SIGHING]
[SAMANTHA SIGHING]
Honey.
Honey, I'm sorry.
I'm over it.
You're right.
We need to keep it light, don't we?
We're not here to make art or improvements to the world or something
we could be proud of, are we?
We're here to make money, aren't we?
-You're being sarcastic? -No, I'm dead serious.
We could go home.
We should go home.
I mean, we can have a house and a yard,
and a kid, and health insurance and careers in Minneapolis.
And everyone we know wouldn't try to avoid us like they do here.
But we chose this, didn't we?
Either you're being sarcastic or you aren't.
Either way, it's depressing me, like, all the way.
Tomorrow... we kill.
We sell those bastards at Hawk an idea that they have to buy if they're smart.
About people growing their own food
and making their own clothes
and literally learning how to sing together.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, my God, this is never gonna work.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
We kill tomorrow.
And if we don't, I don't know, maybe we go home.
Maybe we just, you know, go a different direction.
SAMANTHA: Okay, deal. Maybe.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
-[CLEARS THROAT] -Thank you for coming.
Each of these pieces stands on its own, but they're part of a series.
So we'll be at Hawk studio tomorrow.
And the directions are in your program.
-Thanks again. -Thanks, guys.
Does anyone have any questions?
Uh, did you end up selling the show?
I don't mean to be cute, but you'll have to tune in tomorrow to find out.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, I guess if you had, you wouldn't...
It's complicated, um, as you'll see if you come tomorrow.
Which piece has the mock chicken salad scene?
Uh, Terremoto on Sunday.
-Thank you. -Thanks, everybody.
Door's over there.
BRANDI: Haven't you ever heard of farming your own fish?
No, I haven't.
You can easily install an aqueous farm system in your garage.
We just buy our food at Gelson's.
But wouldn't you rather raise and slaughter your own food
than have someone in some far away factory do it?
No.
-No. Would you? -No.
-Would you? -No.
But what about spending your days
cultivating a huge vegetable garden in your own yard?
[SCOFFS]
What about my job in advertising?
And money. When will we have time to work?
We don't work. We don't.
We don't need jobs where we fit into some machine
that's gradually depleting the planet.
Why work?
And we make everything that we need or we grow it.
Okay.
What about things like wifi routers?
The greater the communication between our desires,
the people around us, each other,
and the soil that we need in order to sustain ourselves,
the smaller our needs become.
Do these chicks wear underwear?
Excuse me?
Do these chicks make their own underwear
or they just go without?
In other words, is there free love on Rainbow Ranch?
Rainbow Farm. And millennials don't have sex.
-So the idea... -Just a second.
This could work.
These young people have moved into student housing
owned by you two old... older people.
And they're always having sex.
And there's free love going on over here and over there and everywhere.
And, uh, and you two are the straight men. You're always super serious.
That won't work.
Exactly. Just like that.
Corey, maybe the animals themselves
are like recurring characters.
Right. Somebody's always walking around with, um...
-With a duck. Yes. -Exactly.
Um, this project is more ideas based.
It's something that we've been perfecting together
for over five years. I mean, nine years for these guys. And it's...
Nine years?
Whoa!
[ALL MURMURING]
I like this, though.
Two worlds colliding.
They are young, sex-crazed, and their shit's all weird,
and their clothes are loose-fitting and... and see through.
Candles are burning everywhere,
and there's chickens and other kinky stuff
running all over their tree-house thingy in the backyard.
We're not interested in that.
Corey, it seems like you really connected with this material.
Should we schedule another meeting?
-Yes. -Great.
So, uh, we'll circle back together in a week. Good?
Um, you guys wanna hear the end of it?
Not really. No.
There was a population control conversation we have.
MAN: They can read all about that.
TRAVIS: Come on, honey.
-Where to, bro? -Work, bro.
I have to record an online extension class
through West Central Oregon Online University.
[EXHALES]
So to recap, if these guys go with Rainbow Farm
we're all executive producers of a network show.
And if they don't, I work somewhere online in West Central Oregon.
Hi, I'm Travis Sunstrom.
I played crazy cousin Dougie for two seasons of Blowing Smoke
on the Good Time network a few years back.
But for the next ten weeks, I'll be guest teaching
the online seminar you're watching.
Now, we'll learn about some of the fundamentals of acting,
including character study, improv technique,
and learning to listen to other actors.
Don't be cute. That pitch was terrible.
Back to Minneapolis. That's what we said we were doing.
Yeah, a thousand times.
Get PrimoWireless for when it's crystal clear.
You want wireless service that's crystal clear.
Some exceptions may apply in Hawaii, in California,
in Colorado, in Arizona,
in Washington state, in Montana, in Texas.
Got it. Your life sucks.
Now, before we begin,
I need everyone to make sure there's no one in your party
whose afraid of encountering a velociraptor or two
before the afternoon talk concludes.
But I can guarantee you, nothing can go wrong here
at Dinosaur Park!
Hi, kids, as a swashbuckling snake handler,
I get to travel to lots of birthday parties,
but I can honestly tell you that this party of euphorias
is the only one I've ever been to
with animals from the Amazon rainforest.
Hi, and welcome to the Putt Putt Pizza Palace
here at the Go Kart and Batting Cage kingdom of Van Nuys.
There's never a bad time to refinance the mortgage
on your home and in the process
receive a chance to win a Wavemaker brand outboard motorboat.
Welcome to a live taping of Kitty and Kathy Live
where we've been taping live on the air,
telling it like it is for over five years.
And today you can help them tell it like it is.
Are you ready?
Yeah!
[LAUGHING]
Hi, thanks for choosing Friday's welcome to the weekend.
Hi, welcome to Starbucks.
Can I take your order?
Hi. Welcome to Subway.
May interest you in a southwest ranch hand on ciabatta?
Closet organizer, Trader Joe's checker...
A sign spinner, fitness trainer...
-Dog walker. -Telemarketer, bellhop,
Trader Joe's checker.
Brandi.
Oh, oh, oh, get it, get it!
Get it, get it, oh! Do me! Do me! Oh!
-Yes! -[APPLAUSE]
Guys, it was one day as a phone sex operator.
-TRAVIS: The whole day? -It was more than one day.
I feel like we haven't talked about the cruise with your mom.
Oh, yeah. It was a cruise with my mom.
In my family, I kind of play the role of the crazy person.
Same. In mine.
I guess that's what families are for.
Mmm-hmm.
For my mom's sake I hope I get famous
so she can be proud of me, love me,
and then I wanna be an important artist.
And then there's all the regular boxes to check off.
Oh, and did I mention in less than a month I'll be 40?
Oh, that's right. Yeah.
I almost forgot since the last time you told me
30 minutes ago.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
What do you mean important artist?
You said you want to be an important artist.
You've heard this before.
But when we moved here from Minneapolis,
the real world, we had it all figured out.
The pavement players, social agitprop theater
bring political stories to the screen, to the masses.
[SIGHING] Oh, my God. What a joke.
I'm in the same boat, really.
I mean not the cruise ship boat.
That's a different... This is more of, like, a metaphorical...
Me, cruise ship boat with my mom,
you, metaphorical.
How do I do it all?
Like, be famous and have some money,
and be an artist with integrity,
and have a husband, and family, and house,
and please my parents. But how?
Well, if Hawk greenlights our show, all our problems are solved.
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
Why are you fuss-budgeting?
Having trouble coming up with the details
for my 40th birthday party?
I still have four more weeks, two days and ten hours.
And Brandi doesn't think she and Chandler are in it for the long haul.
But actually, I think they already aren't.
They broke up.
What?
I just talked to her in the car.
Why would she not tell me that?
How do you know that?
Bad news?
Bad news about the pitch?
Bad and worse.
Worse than that? Okay, you're scaring me.
Tell me what it is.
-They want it. -Really?
That's not bad news.
They want to make it a sitcom.
A sitcom? How?
Oh, my God. Let's just do it.
Let's just do whatever they want.
I mean, this is really exciting.
We're actually in the game
-for the first one... -They want me,
but they don't think you're...
right for the part you created.
Well...
First of all, I'm just sorry.
Second of all, do you want me to not do it?
[SAMANTHA GROANING]
'Cause I will not do this if you say that's what you...
what you want, baby.
SAMANTHA: I didn't know what I want.
I just heard about this.
Are Brandi and Chandler in it?
Uh, no, only me playing my role.
What is your conscience telling you to do, Travis?
-What you want. -[SCOFFS]
I am not involved in the project anymore.
So actually, you can do whatever you want.
Come on. You and I started writing Rainbow Farm
when we still lived on Arundel.
This isn't my decision alone.
Oh, I doubt whatever you film with Corey and Kevin
and Blank Face number three will in any way resemble
what you and I started working on when we lived on Arundel.
So, actually it's your decision to make!
Goodnight.
Okay, so I said, I'm sorry, and I am.
I think this is good for both of us.
So, you know, I say we do it.
You're gonna go to sleep angry?
Gotta go.
You all right?
[SIGHING]
Get out!
Leave me alone!
SAMANTHA: Hey.
[SIGHING]
Do the chicks wear underwear?
[TRAVIS CHUCKLES]
I'm running the writer's room with another one of their guys.
How irrelevant to the question.
Do the chicks wear underwear?
No.
No, and that's not the worst of it.
But it doesn't matter, because you've cashed in
every last shred of dignity.
I thought you said do the first one their way...
before you found out you weren't on the show.
-That's low. -Oh, God, I'm sorry.
I just I don't want to do, baby.
Quit it.
You and me together.
You said, "Tell me what to do," and I'm telling you. Quit it.
This is too unfair for this world.
I can't quit it.
What?
I need to keep going.
It's something we've worked so hard.
We've suffered so long,
and after a while, I'm hoping I can get you back on.
Oh, what? You're gonna get me on my show?
So now I'm hearing the crappy things that crappy people say
about their crappy little shows.
But now, it's my husband saying it to me.
I can see you're mad, but yes, it is.
-That's supposed to... -Mad? Yes!
I'm sorry. This is gonna be good for both of us.
Even you.
I have to go. God, I'm sorry to leave like this,
but I'm late.
You're leaving me behind?
No, but yes, bye.
I'm gonna call you at lunch. Bye.
I'm sorry. Bye.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
[TRAVIS SIGHING]
Hi.
You're working on something?
I am, actually.
May I ask what?
Just revisiting something we were developing
before we came out here.
[SIGHING]
Samson, I wish you could see my day.
All I did was battle with Todd,
Blank Face number three, as you call him...
about whether or not what was a working vegetable farm
in our version of Rainbow Ranch should now become a petting zoo.
[CHUCKLES]
What project?
-What? -What project are you "revisiting."
Oh, um, The Alien play.
[EXHALES] Why?
-Sorry. What? -Why?
Why The Alien play? What's the point of that?
Actually, I think I already know. It's called overcompensate.
Wrong again.
I'm doing something I've been genuinely wanting to do
for a very long time, which is go back to when I was interesting.
You were, too, actually. Back then it didn't matter
if someone greenlit my ideas or replied to my emails,
or invited me into their Dulcie of compromise.
Back then, I did what I wanted and I was proud of it.
It sustained me.
Innovation sustained me,
because I was young, and innovation's why we're here.
[SIGHING]
Remember being sustained by the work we were doing?
But The Alien play.
If memory serves, it's as weird
as this shit-com will be lame.
Is that the motivation?
Be weird to prove that you're not lame?
You sound defensive.
If you'll excuse me, I have a lot to do.
Don't do The Alien play. Please.
Don't you have a petting zoo to plan?
SAMANTHA: Hi, are you calling about an audition?
I'm really sorry, because you may be
exactly the person I'm looking for.
But I've already had over 300 people respond
and I'm just one small person working alone.
I love you for taking the plunge
and calling me based on a flyer you saw,
on some random phone poll, or Craigslist posting.
Good for you.
And come see the play when it's done.
It's called The Alien play, at least for now.
Google my name.
Samantha Sundstrom Alien Play.
That should do it.
And I love you.
Keep it up, fight the power.
TRAVIS: What's all this?
[EXHALES]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Did you have time to prepare a monologue?
WOMAN: I'm sorry.
Uh... Did you prepare a monologue?
-I did. -Oh, great. Okay, good.
-[EXHALES] Sorry. -Okay, great.
It's, um... It's a piece that I worked on in college.
And I co-wrote it. It's called "Boned."
I remember it was like yesterday.
It was vanilla ice cream and it melted down my hand.
No, Daddy! No!
[WHISPERING] No, Daddy!
Don't die on me!
Don't die on me, goddamn it!
No! No! No! Why!
Why! [SOBBING]
Great. Thank... Thank you.
He's dead!
Dad... I love you.
[MIMICKING CRYING]
End scene.
I brought two monologues today.
But, soft!
What light through yonder window breaks.
[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT] So I says to the guy I says, "Hey, Rizo!
"Ladies don't drink beer.
"Ladies drink Chardonnay."
You left one thing out of your confession, Martinez.
[EXHALES]
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
Within this bosom...
Hope. Within these loins...
Longing.
Within this cup...
A poem.
All my own.
[EXHALES]
That was so good. Thank you.
Well, so for the next thing,
um, imagine being born,
but not your body, your soul.
I don't know what you're talking about.
We're all prescribed by culture.
So what if we were souls and not bodies?
Show me your interpretation of what that would look like.
I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Would you... Can you show me what you mean?
-No, I don't want to show you... -Because you don't know either.
-No. Because... -When is this project gonna start?
Because I just got a farm in Honduras.
My parents bought it for me.
Oh, my God. That sounds so interesting.
What are you gonna do in your farm?
Cultivating bananas with la gente.
I'm coming to visit you.
That sounds so cool.
Really?
Because I am so sick and tired of the bullshit
-actors are asked to do in this town. -I know, right?
I was voicing a character for a box flicks.
It was a left leading meerkat, right?
Which is supposed to be cool,
but instead it turned out to be a punch line
for all the fascist forest animals.
Oh, my God, that's happening to me too.
[WHISPERING] Fascist forest animals.
-[KNOCK AT DOOR] -Come in.
Oh, I'm sorry. The auditions are over.
BRANDI: Hi, it's me.
Hey, oh boy, I'm so glad to see you.
It's such a long day.
How have the auditions been going?
Fantastic.
You are the only person so far
that's definitely in the play.
Oh, I'm in it?
Do I look happy?
You actually do.
And I got that old feeling today.
You did?
It's so nice the actors, the just, the energy.
It was, like, so nourishing.
They just have this power coming out of them.
You have to do it, though, because I rented the theater
for the Saturday before my birthday.
Wow.
Wow, The Alien play the weekend before your fortieth.
I, um, I want to, but I just got
like a third call back for this mattress job.
Is that a euphemism? Mattress job.
Are you getting back into porn?
You know, my body of work was beginning to feel very dated.
So, like, there's this, like, all these, like new, like
like sick, disgusting forms of penetration.
And everybody cries now.
This, like, sad is the new thing.
Well, I wouldn't understand, but if you say so.
No, it's probably gonna be a good booking if I get it.
It's like a two month long infomercial.
They'd fly me out to Mexico City and to the factory.
And then I just, like, show off all the happy people being happy
because making mattresses in Mexico is so awesome and fun.
That sounds like the thing you did last year for carpet, Right?
I thought you hated that.
Yeah, I did. Yeah.
I did hate that.
But now you're the carpet mattress lady...
Which was actually my porn star name.
Carpet and mattress lady.
Wasn't that job last year in Mexico City?
-Yeah. -Oh, that's weird.
-Mmm. -Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, but, um, so if I book it
it's pretty sure that I can't do the play.
You would do the mattress job instead of The Alien play?
Come watch tomorrow.
-I have 50 auditions. -Fifty?
Like five-O?
Everyday, all week. I had to cut it off.
Wow.
Well, it's kind of scary that there's that many people
trying to get into that helium play.
-Hey. -Sorry.
Well, I just mean that it's crazy.
Like you know how many people are trying to get into
this carpet job?
-Mattress. -Right.
Yes.
So many people.
Mmm. Come to the audition tomorrow.
It'll remind you why we got into this line of work in the first place.
Oh, dear God!
Did I just see my entire family burn to death?
The first time I missed my daughter's birthday was on the day she was born.
There she was, a beautiful new little baby girl to the world.
And where...
Where was her daddy?
Where he always was.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
High on crack.
So just imagine that you're not a body,
you're a soul.
I am a soul in body. Not a body.
Am I doing this right?
[SIGHING]
People are having trouble grasping this.
[RASPING]
There's no right or wrong answer.
Just, um, start whenever you feel ready.
When I was 17 years old,
I was close to telling my mother I was gay.
We were on our way to buy my first outfit
for the first day of twelfth grade
in our unhappy green Volkswagen Bug.
And I said to the universe, I said,
"Show me a signal.
"Tell me if I should take this next step.
"Will I damn myself, or will I save myself?"
Right then, a little brown sparrow
landed on the passenger side rear view mirror and looked right at me.
A year later, my mama was dead.
That car was in the wrecking yard,
and I saw Mobile, Alabama for the last time in my whole long life.
That was beautiful.
"The world's conventions surround us like the sets of a play.
"How may we keep this truth immediate
"and continually reinvent ourselves?"
[SIGHING]
"The witch helps the girl take off her skin.
"She begins to dance without the trappings of a body,
"with her, his soul alone."
Mmm.
[EXHALES]
[HUMMING]
[SIGHING]
Hmm.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Okay.
How's the writing going?
Uh... Fantastic.
Walking in a second ago, I was watching you through the window.
I saw you lying on the floor jerking spastically, speaking in tongues.
I thought you might be having a seizure. Then I remembered...
You're producing the Alien play.
I was exploring the interplay between language and movement
and our prejudices about both.
Right.
How was your day? Um, how's the petting zoo?
Is someone carrying a duck?
Bad.
Reminds me though, you'll never guess
what was quacking and flying south for winter
and named Daffy.
Was it a truck?
No, it was a duck.
You'll never guess what hit me in the face today
when I was tending goal.
It was flat, and black and rounded on the edges,
and there were guys passing it back and forth
with sticks and wearing ice skates,
and they were all from Canada.
A little puck?
No. Shit luck.
You smiled.
I win.
[SIGHING]
This barf pile show
has zero chance of going on Hawk and God forbid it did.
I will never admit I had anything to do with it.
And then, you and I are gonna be friends again.
So why don't we just do it now?
Quit the show.
Be in The Alien play.
I rented the Abalone theater
for the Saturday before my birthday.
What? For The Alien play?
-Yes. -No, no, no.
It's just a cocktail party. We already know it.
And then we can modify it
into like a surprise birthday party.
Too lame, too tame,
too late. I have my group.
The Alien play. Wow.
I know I can't be with you, but are you with me?
I didn't think so.
[SIGHING]
[SNIFFLES]
Today we submitted the final script for Episode two of Rainbow Ranch.
As you may recall, in our version of the story,
the character of Benji impresses the other futurist Sweeny
and builds a house in the woods made of materials that were found or repurposed.
In other words, materials that, you know, do no harm to the environment.
Mmm.
Now, Benji's house is inflatable
like a bouncy house at a kid's birthday party.
It comes loose from its moorings,
rolls down the hill with Benji inside,
screaming hysterically, thus destroying the futurist's chicken coop
tilapia farm, petting zoo and puppet theater.
[WHISPERING] Puppet theater.
[CHUCKLES]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Puppets are big right now, bro.
They're all saying it.
Before you were a black man...
You were a man.
Before you were a woman,
you were a human being.
Before you were a human being, you were a soul
descending down into one of these.
So by way of introduction and for our first act as a group,
I want us all to imagine
you are a soul
descending into the "person" to your left.
Because we all have prejudices, and we all make assumptions,
and we all have ways that we divide up the world to make sense of it.
But what sense are we making of it in the process?
So that's what I want us to begin to explore.
Could we just, you know, start with our names first?
I just wanna do this before we know the names the world knows us by.
Okay. But you said that we were collaborating on this project, so...
Um, I'm Samantha.
Antonio.
-Chakra. -I'm Linda Fernandez,
and up until recently, I was an on-air sideline correspondent
for Univision...
We'll just stop right there, okay?
Um...
I'll go first.
I'm Antonio. I'm Black, obviously.
I'm from Alabama originally.
Do I sound like that?
Being Black, and being gay has affected me in certain ways.
I've been told all my life by a macho, straight white society
that I should feel inferior, but I don't.
For me, if there's anything that makes me feel less,
it's the amount of time I have to spend
negotiating the fact that I'm one thing
and the way people see me as another.
-Sheikra? -Chakra.
Chakra.
Um... I'm political.
I don't think women and men should dress according to stereotypes.
I wear bold makeup.
I've had several lesbian relationships, but I prefer men, I think.
-Oh, damn, dude. -No, he's right.
More or less.
But the makeup is cool.
I put out a tough outward appearance
because there's something fragile inside me
that I'm trying to protect.
Because essentially, I don't trust anybody.
And that's because I've never really been anything but hurt
by people.
Okay. Whoo!
-My name is Linda Fernando... -Fernandez.
-Linda Fernandez. -Mmm-hmm.
I'm proud of my job on Univision.
I'm the first in my family to be on TV, and to be an actor.
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
I'm scared.
I'm comfortable within the stereotype
of what a glamorous, starving woman
is supposed to look like and act like,
but not very comfortable.
I look like every guy's fantasy.
I have fragile clothes, painted face, thin body,
shoes I would never be able to run in.
But these things are made by men for men. Their fantasy.
I'm scared of where I would be, though...
If I didn't, on some level, give them what they want, you know.
Okay, maybe some of that,
but also a lot more.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'm Samantha.
I am doing a play about sexism, racism and homophobia
and how they're bad for you, which is something that everybody knows
except for [SCOFFS] maybe me.
I am really unsuccessful in Hollywood.
So in order to prove my worth, I am putting on a serious play
about racism and other things.
But in reality, I'm overcompensating
because I've had a recent tragedy,
maybe a part that I didn't get
or some show that I was gonna do that got canceled.
My mom, she pays for some of my rent.
And I want kids, but I want to be famous.
I've had the luxury my whole life
of having everything that people here would probably kill for,
but I take it for granted.
But it's okay, because I have privilege
and I spend it to some degree on things that really matter.
So it's terrible to be me,
but it's also pretty great.
It is nauseating, but it's also noble.
You're right.
Okay.
What, if anything, did we take away from that?
Don't mess with motherfucking Linda
'cause she's a motherfucking fortune teller.
We all did great.
We all were good there. Um...
So up next...
Imagine all of your clothes were made for two people.
Hey, girl. I missed you at rehearsal today.
But you love mattresses more than you love me.
[CHUCKLES]
I haven't seen my husband in a week.
He comes home after I go to sleep.
I'm starting to forgive him, of course.
Well, I never will.
You still think of this?
Get a life.
[SIGHS]
You guys look so beautiful,
and the way you're moving together is...
I'm just gonna cry.
[LINDA SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
One of you bounces off the other and it just shifts.
-LINDA: That was my foot. -CHAKRA: I'm sorry.
[BOTH WOMEN LAUGHING]
SAMANTHA: Guys, come on.
No! Now you're laughing.
So just go with that. Your energy changed.
-[LINDA LAUGHING] -CHAKRA: Guys, let's stop it.
This isn't working.
[ALL LAUGHING]
People, we are changing the world here.
Look at that.
Some of us are not taking this very seriously.
I don't know. I'm not.
-No, I am. -[BOTH LAUGHING]
When we run it back, you'll see it's really interesting.
[BOTH SIGHING]
SAMANTHA: Guys, you look so beautiful
and the way you're moving together is...
I just wanna cry.
Really cool.
I've never seen anything like it.
How do you guys feel seeing this?
Like there's unexplored energy between us as people.
I like that.
Where do you think it comes from?
Maybe there's no way of knowing?
I like how we related to each other in the bag
in that certain way.
It is really interesting.
I have a question, and I'm serious.
Are we doing anything like this in the show?
Like where people can see, like people who know us?
Because I think I need to know if we are.
Some of it could end up in the show if we wanted to.
I mean, we're dealing with some pretty uncharted territory right now.
Oh...
Definitely uncharted for me.
LINDA: Oh, my God. Somebody's watching us.
-Brandi! -Sorry.
Oh, hi.
Oh, my gosh. Everyone, this is Brandi.
She is a famous television ad actor,
though she's also known for many, many interesting non-commercial projects as well.
[CHAKRA PURRING]
These may or may not be members of an alien life force.
I see that. I'm jealous.
It looks like you guys are having so much fun.
-We are. -So are you, like, the best friend
who always does these shows but this time you can't
because you got a real job,
but you're here because you feel guilty?
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, pretty much.
What are you, a mind reader?
ANTONIO: Yes. SAMANTHA: Yeah, she is good.
So good work, everybody. Let's stop here.
And I just want you all to know the work you're doing
is gonna change minds.
I'm gonna have to change my last name. That I know.
I'm gonna have to change my whole face.
Major reconstructive surgery as soon as we close.
-Bye, it's nice meeting you. -ANTONIO: You too.
Looks like you found some pretty cool people.
I'm jealous, and I know I don't have to tell you that
because that lady just told you everything
that I'm thinking and feeling and doing.
I know. It's so weird, right?
-She did that with everyone. -Really?
She's a sideline reporter for Univision Deportes.
Ooh, tough gig.
But she looks familiar. She's been in anything?
I looked her up. Nothing big.
I mean, she's like super talented Latina type lady
and she just never gets casted in anything.
It's really sad.
But that's what we're working on.
We're trying to change that.
We're trying to change everything.
Speaking of change,
I'm gonna go to your bathroom and change for yoga.
We're still going, right?
Yes. Because I'm in this ridiculously positive space right now.
My energy is just like... Whew!
What are you doing about that mattress thing?
Did you tell them to piss off
because mattresses are full of toxic chemicals
and you're gonna be collaborating on a theater piece
to raise mass consciousness?
BRANDI: I haven't gotten that far.
I did book it, though,
so I won't be able to do your show for sure.
Yeah, Linda told me already.
She said you're here because you're guilty
because you got a real job.
Your thing looks like more fun.
You're nice. I know you don't mean that.
BRANDI: I do.
Well, I'd rather be doing what you're doing.
Flying to Mexico City and getting paid and all that.
Living the life.
Mmm, what others consider a dream...
Can I have a piece of your gum?
Only if I can have a cup of your coffee.
Only if you say, "Mmm, that's a great cup of coffee,"
before you drink it.
BRANDI: Of course I'm gonna say it.
We're actors, and that's all you ever say, right?
Great.
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
You didn't just get quiet.
No, I'm just thinking about the sesh from earlier.
Yeah. Show me the footage.
Oh, not...
Yeah, let's just wait until it's ready.
Sure you're good?
You got the same job you got last year
with a sidebar to Mexico City, but from a different company?
Yeah, I know.
It's... weird.
Yeah.
Oh, that is a great cup of coffee.
[SLURPS] Yeah.
That's a great cup of coffee.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
Uh-oh.
I know that ring tone. I might be getting called back to set.
At six o'clock at night?
I'm so sorry.
Let me drop you at yoga.
Actually, I'm really tired from the whole...
Rain check. Okay?
Yeah. No, rain check.
Bye.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[EXHALES]
What the hell is going on?
Hey.
Hi, babe. You're up early.
Did you come home last night?
What do you mean? Yeah.
I just slept on the couch because
we just wrapped, like, three hours ago.
-Oh. -Yep.
Episode one in the can.
[CHUCKLES]
Or as they say put Episode one in the can
if you know what I mean.
I don't see any blankets or pillows.
You definitely came home last night?
Yeah, it was kind of a catnap.
Are you happy with the show?
If I'm happy, that's bad because you're not on it.
And if I'm not happy, it's "Then why are you doing it?"
I just can't. I can't.
I can't. I can't deal with this right now.
I know this is gonna infuriate you.
I'm not Infuriated. I'm just
neverendingly mad and pissed off
and alone all the time.
Right. 'cause I thought you were happy.
Finally making art,
elevating everyone's consciousness
to prevent further environmental degradation and human loss of potential.
No? So are you, or aren't you?
Or do you just want a pound of flesh,
because you didn't get hired to make your own show, and I did?
Why would that upset me?
I'm sorry that you didn't get hired on your show.
But you know what? That's not my fault.
You know what else?
No matter how stupid that is,
no matter how stupid that soon to be unwatched piece
of experimental theater nonsense is,
it could never compare
-to the existential... -You're wrong.
...stupidity of the thing that you are upset to be missing out on.
Well, it hasn't stopped you from going, has it?
And didn't you just say you were late?
I am late.
But I'm late for nothing.
The reason I got no sleep last night
is because of nothing. Nothing. That's what I'm doing now.
Working all night on nothing.
On puppets!
You've been saying puppets a lot lately.
Did you just say it again?
A family of puppets with fake, fuzzy, furry hair
has moved on to Rainbow Ranch.
It's now my job... to make that work.
-Are you kidding? -No. No I'm not kidding.
[PANTING]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I didn't. I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know.
You wouldn't last 15 minutes on this show.
'Cause you have integrity.
Did you say you don't have any time right now?
No.
But you went to the movies the day before yesterday.
Who told you that?
I found the ticket by the bed.
Oh, well, I... There was, like, a meltdown... in the room
and I had to get away.
And you went by yourself?
CHAKRA: Hello, anybody home?
Come on up.
Hello.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
Oh.
[PURRING]
Like we talked about, right?
Let's shake up of the rules.
[CHUCKLES] Yes, really good.
So you want me to walk into Starbucks
and act like a gay Black man?
That's what I was thinking.
Unless someone has a better idea.
Many, actually.
I'm not sure that's a good idea.
-You know, someone might get shot. -Or get seen doing it.
Yeah, right.
I'll do it. I get it.
It makes sense to me.
How are we ever going to penetrate
a higher plane of existence without creating new tools?
How is going into Starbucks
and acting like a gay Black man a new tool?
I do that all the time.
Yes, but you'll be a Latina when you go in this time.
Indian Latina.
Mostly Indian, but from Panama and LA,
and lots of other places.
Let's just say Latina.
I mean, you're going in as an idea,
not an actual person.
Okay, how do you "act" the idea of a gay Black man?
I'm afraid to ask.
And what does the Latina idea act like?
Come on, guys.
We can be that way.
Let's say "y'all." That covers being Black.
And the analyst, boom! You're gay.
I could buy some shiny white shoes at Payless.
Bam! I'm Latina.
Uh, it's not that hard being Latina,
or any other person with brown skin.
Just start never getting goddamn paid
for doing anything and doing all of everybody else's work.
So that other people can do the opposite,
and do no work, and put on stupid plays
inside of a big bag made of sheets
and talk bullshit all day long
about going into Starbucks and making fools of themselves.
Sorry.
I don't know where that came from.
It came from fear, right?
I say we do this!
Down at the end of the block,
there's this teeny tiny coffee shop called Terremoto.
Let's just go to Terremoto
deprogram, not members of any group.
We could all be standing next to a door
no human has ever walked through,
and if we find it, the whole species
could suddenly just walk into the light.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Okay.
Hi.
May I help you?
LINDA: Yo, what's up, boo? Let me get some coffee.
You got coffee over here?
Yeah.
This is a coffee shop.
I win, jackass.
No, dawg, we're just a couple of buggers
trying to get a cup of coffee, man,
so we could have the energy to... fight the power!
ANTONIO: Okay, what?
LINDA: Yo, what's up with you?
Weren't you the idea of, uh, of a Mexican?
CHAKRA: Oh, oh. What are you doing, girl? [CHUCKLES]
Excuse me. Excuse me. Can you help me?
Are you helping these people? Because I want a sandwich.
ANTONIO: Okay, excuse me, I was here first, okay?
She can go in front of me, but I'm used to people cutting me in line,
-and I don't like your... -Okay, guys.
Seriously. You're punking us here, right?
LINDA: No, man, if we were punking you, you would know it.
-Damn, homes. -CHAKRA: Did anyone hear me?
I'm hungry. Will you make me a sandwich?
Okay, seriously, what's the joke? Is this some Starbucks?
I can see you ain't got no Black folks up here.
Does that mean you don't serve Black folks?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no.
We serve everybody. We serve everybody, okay?
Including, uh...
-Blob. -Blobs?
Just like... Just like you guys, okay?
But you came in after this pillow blob, okay?
CHAKRA: Will somebody please make me a sandwich?
ANTONIO: I have been here the longest,
so I should... You know what?
It doesn't even matter.
What does it matter? Let her go in front of me.
-Okay, mi gente? -It's beautiful.
What kind of sandwich would you like, ma'am?
Or sir, or or whatever.
Mock salad.
-Mock chicken salad. -Mock chicken salad.
Okay, got it.
Why don't you put... It's her sandwich,
on my tab. I'm flush, yo.
So all in one tab then?
You were here first.
So what are you gonna have?
ANTONIO: Oh, my God. You're buying for all of us?
-Why are you so loud? -Shut up.
Uh, yeah. Unless you gettin' the Frappuccino.
We don't have Frappuccinos.
Okay, this is Terremoto.
All right, then we all happy, right?
[VOCALIZING]
I am a witch.
I am an alien.
I can control life's lottery.
I have the power to reorder your totems!
LINDA: Okay, what?
[CONTINUES VOCALIZING]
Ties are just strange pieces of fabric.
Cool.
Clothing is costume,
-yet the play doesn't exist anymore. -Right on.
Displays of wealth and status are no longer necessary.
White skin.
Interesting choice.
You are an unseen person, no?
Like Tiresias.
You're most seeing.
[VOCALIZING]
-And scene, okay? -ANTONIO: Let's get out of here. Oh, my God.
So, uh, no mock chicken salad, then?
Oh, my God.
-What was that? -Oh, my God.
That was out of the blue.
I kind of wanted to spring it on you guys just unexpectedly.
Well, yeah. That was very unexpected.
That was crazy.
I just wanted to gauge your reaction
in front of people to this new freedom.
This newfound societal coexistence.
I don't think I can go on with this anymore.
What?
-What do you mean? -What do I mean?
This is... This is... This is crazy.
You are crazy.
We are actors.
We have a reputation to think about.
Oh, my God. I'm never going to work again.
As a soccer sidelines reporter?
Is that work?
What?
This is work if you're an actor,
actually acting, exploring.
Are you getting paid for walking into a coffee shop
and acting like a... Whatever you were?
No. Look. [CHUCKLES]
Do any of you have agents?
Because I do.
Did she send you out for this?
Go to hell.
Look, I thought, as an actor, that this would help me grow.
But this is [SPEAKING SPANISH]
You know what?
You're all fucking ridiculous.
That was amazing by the way.
I am still reeling.
It didn't really work out the way I'd hoped.
Can you stop filming actually?
Good morning.
Could you please take that off?
Take what off?
I know this head may seem like it's paper mache,
but in fact, it's my actual head.
If you want to talk, please take it off.
Take what off?
Listen, I know that you and I have, uh,
been going through one of our phases,
but I need you to push pause for three hours,
'cause tonight's that dinner party
that I told you about two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago, I was in another dimension,
inaccessible by humans in general
and by Hollywood puppeteers in particular.
Can you please be there to support me, as my wife?
As Samantha's husband, you need to support her.
Cosmically speaking, you have made her feel
very alone in the universe,
which I happen to personally know
is a very big place.
She would've done it to me.
Can you deny it, all-knowing alien?
She and I are both just
too far down an unfunny path.
Listen, tonight is this party up at Corey's place,
and, uh, it's gonna be terrible.
But he's an important guy at Hawk.
Some other important people will be there,
and when this show is gone, he will be a really good guy to know.
He'll be a good guy to know? Be a good guy to know?
We're in Hollywood, Zoltar.
We're...
on the fringes of it.
Go with Brandi, why don't you?
Was that Yoda?
Unimportant, it is.
Why would I go with Brandi?
Go with Brandi, why would I?
Why? Why? Why would you say that?
What do you know? Would you actually
take that thing off?
I'll turn this off.
What do you know, Zoltar?
I have to go. I'm gonna text you the address.
Please. I'm telling everyone that we're meeting there.
Live long and prosper.
[SIGHING]
[SOBBING]
Hey, Chaks, it's me, Samantha.
Um, could you text me your measurements
because I'm kind of working on our costumes?
Um, I'm going to be late for our first rehearsal tonight
at the Abalone.
I have a dinner party.
Call Linda Fernandez.
I am so sorry
I sprang that alien slash witch persona on you at the coffee shop.
That was me being a bad, bad, bad collaborator.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
"What's the mock chicken salad lady?"
[SAMANTHA VOCALIZING] I am a witch.
I am an alien.
No, no, no. No. No!
I have the power to reorder your totems!
Oh!
BARISTA: So no mock chicken salad, then?
Oh, my God, I'm the mock chicken salad lady!
I'm the mock chicken salad lady?
I'm the mock chicken salad lady.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Call Travis.
Thanks a lot.
Call Brandi.
Thanks, guys.
Oh, no!
[SCREAMING]
Okay. Okay.
Your shows move us.
TRAVIS: Oh, my gosh.
Hi. Hi, honey.
-Hi. -Wow. You look beautiful.
What have I done to deserve this?
Absolutely nothing.
Oh, here she is.
-Welcome. Come on in. -Hello. Nice to meet you.
TRAVIS: So, everybody, uh, this is my wife,
and collaborator of the past 12 years, Samantha.
WOMAN: Hi, Samantha. Nice to meet you.
-Samantha, what are you... -Are you the mock chicken salad lady?
-Samantha and I... -I can tell them.
I'm just gonna need a little drinky drinky first.
Yeah, of course. Here, try this.
That's a cava. It's a Spanish...
So one of those nights?
Maybe it's too soon to put her on the spot about...
No, it's not one of those nights, Travis.
[IN WITCHY VOICE] And don't make me tell you again.
-[WOMAN CHUCKLES] -Here you are.
What do I do?
Well, I am an actor of no great importance.
I played a nosy neighbor on the Cul-de-sac Chronicles.
I remember that.
My neighbor worked on that.
-WOMAN: It was what, TBS? -No idea.
After that, I was on half a season
as an on-camera host of Mid-American Man Caves.
It did not air.
Since then, I have been reconnecting
with my roots as a theater director,
making meaningful yet unattended,
according to my husband, pieces that no one is interested in
including me.
Mostly, I'm a waitress.
[TRAVIS CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
And there's... [INHALES]
a lot that she's leaving out too.
Well, we have all night.
I think that, uh, I prefer to sit next to my wife if that's okay with you.
We actually like to split the couples up.
Everyone gets enough of their spouse at home,
-am I right? -Oh, yeah.
I don't.
This is a little something we picked up in Los Olivos.
It's, uh, breathtakingly expensive.
But once you drink something like this, you can never go back.
-Was that snobby to them? -Yeah.
I've never had wine that came out of a bottle before.
[LAUGHS] So true, because it's always in a box, right?
Mmm, six packs at our place.
Hands everywhere.
You're funny. I would watch you on Mid-American Man Cave.
Oh, that reminds me,
Corey, Travis, we're all here now.
How's the show going?
It sounds so funny.
Oh, I think you've got the seniority, sir.
Do the honors.
Uh, well, this will come as a surprise to Travis,
but, um, projects like Rainbow Ranch serve two purposes.
One, they introduce us to incredibly talented people like Travis...
I actually created the show with Samantha.
Oh, yeah, I forgot that. That's right.
I got kicked off my own show.
It's a classic Hollywood ending.
Well, you should worry about that,
because the real reason for creating a material like this...
Okay, what I've learned is that this is a corporate town.
WOMAN: You don't say.
The donkeys, the puppets, the glitter, the actors, the stories, we...
we leverage them sometimes for something else,
for... for something that sells.
This project will reposition our brand.
It won't air.
But it did introduce us to Travis.
And Samantha.
Samantha. And...
Which of you guys is important?
My husband said there'd be important people here,
and that's why he made me, you know, wear the costume.
Trevor is important.
Corey, Travis, Trevor.
Classic Hollywood wuzzle.
Important men, ahoy!
-My wife... -[IN WITCHY VOICE] Oh, your wife is gone.
I am the witch.
Mmm...
Mmm-mmm.
At the University of Chicago,
long before all these magnificent trappings had entrapped me,
I lived in a co-op in a closet
with no windows and a camping lantern for light.
And by that lantern, I read books all day and all night.
My friends and I burned
with curiosity, with youth, with goodwill.
We burned with the world's inherent possibility.
Hmm.
-I remember that feeling. -Yes!
We were innocent.
We were open, we were alive.
We lived only to help people and save people with our goodness
like Eve, alive, alight, hurtling towards perfection.
Is the story going someplace?
Yes, Corey, Trav, Trev, it actually ends with you.
All of life's unlocked goodness
ends with the shit thing you just said to my husband
about the story Rainbow Farm
he's worked so earnestly to bring into existence.
Between the beginning, innocence, and the end, you,
there's life,
which we donkeys, puppets and actors
try to show in all its myriad wonderfulness slash awfulness
so that we might all unmask ourselves
and return to our best state
where we're good again.
Well, now it's a dinner party.
Yeah, I think I've had just about enough of that scene.
You screwing my best friend?
No.
I saw you kissing her.
[SIGHING]
I was afraid to tell you.
Tell me what?
Should I ask them to leave?
Tell her what?
I was afraid to tell you that
Brandi got your part on your show.
What kind of savage business?
Why?
You know.
Too old.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
TRAVIS: Uh, well, that's my ride.
Thanks for a great party.
Looking forward to the next one already.
COREY: What?
She's too old?
Give me a break.
Is that the mock chicken salad lady?
Right?
I'll show you the video. It's so funny.
[SIGHING]
She left.
Wow.
You really got your plate full there.
Uh-huh.
So is that true, Rainbow Ranch is the hedge?
Yeah. Everybody hates it.
Don't shoot the messenger.
Yeah, show business isn't shut. It's business.
TRAVIS: Right.
So what are we? What are... what are show folk?
Just... crazy people.
[SIGHING]
She's turning 40 tomorrow.
It makes everyone feel crazy.
Why do we have racism?
And sexism?
And religion?
And national boundaries?
-And history? -And biases?
Because we're all equal,
and we all know it.
And it's terrifying as hell.
Well, that was ridiculous.
-[LAUGHING] -But awesome.
That's pretty good?
We don't believe the world is going to survive
our current systems of belief,
do we, my sister?
The world will survive,
but the people on it will not.
Nonsense.
Don't tell me you libos believe in global warming.
[COUGHING]
Does he have to hit the bong there?
What they're saying actually makes sense when you think about it.
Boss's orders. Whenever anyone says anything
to "Edgy" we put in a bong hit.
[SIGHING] Whatever.
Don't tell me you libos believe in global warming.
Right now, we humans must, as a species, rapidly advance
the state of our consciences, our capacity for kindness.
And quickly expand our intolerance
for cruelty and violence everywhere.
Because if we don't establish some new,
better way of seeing ourselves,
we don't even have a future, sister.
Oh.
Hey, all this talk about saving the world
has made me... horny.
And how does that even qualify as writing at all?
It doesn't. That's Corey.
Yeah, he told us we couldn't change it.
Travis, help us out.
How is this dialogue?
It's schizophrenia.
Actually, I think the show's been cancelled.
Oh.
-Good. -Damn.
I needed this gig.
Yeah. Same.
Well, can't cancel what's not there to begin with.
-True. -Yeah.
Brandi.
We gotta go someplace.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Fun dinner party last night.
Um, but you still didn't answer the question.
Are you in love with Brandi?
Hey, it's Antonio.
Oh, shit. Hi.
What are you doing here?
Oh, we got rehearsal.
-Oh. -Did you talk to him last night?
He didn't come home.
-I thought you were him. -CHAKRA: Hello!
Oh, God. Now everybody's here. Come on in.
We're upstairs.
-Hey. -[SAMANTHA GROANING]
How's our fearless leader doing this morning?
Well, since everyone's here...
So, you single-handedly tried to save a suits party from itself.
Who told you that?
Oh, my God, you did!
Don't you remember? You called me last night. We talked for, like, two hours.
I did not save them.
You can't save them.
Just like the hapless earthlings at Terremoto.
Oh, my God. Terremoto.
What we did at Terremoto moved people.
On losers dot com.
Oh, my God.
People are watching that clip
because they are hungry for the message in that piece.
Chak's baby, the show's off.
[GASPS] Don't be like that!
I canceled the reservation at the Abalone
because nobody was gonna come anyway.
Okay, no one would come.
That won't be a problem
now that we have 187,398 hits,
and we're on everything's nuts dot com.
Oh, my God, nuts?
Not that I want anybody to watch.
Come here.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
I'm shocked to see you again to be honest.
Oh, you don't even know about the costumes yet.
-Wait till you see 'em. -Costume?
-Mmm-hmm. -Costumes?
Oh, shit.
SAMANTHA: You're gonna die.
Chakra wants!
Race and gender are such arbitrary distinctions.
We are all people.
How did she do it?
I think you stunned us again.
Okay, so I guess it's okay the show is off.
CHAKRA: I am putting this on and we're doing this piece.
This is too good to stop.
It's important.
I just need to take some time to figure things out.
Life in Minneapolis was just...
I don't know, it just made sense.
Everything made more sense.
ANTONIO: More sense than...
Don't tempt me.
You look really good in that.
[CHUCKLES]
You guys...
Thank you. Thank you so much.
LINDA: But please, burn that. Okay?
Please. Love you.
The show...
We're gonna figure it out.
Okay.
-LINDA: For Honduras. -For Honduras.
[MELODICA PLAYING]
[SIGHING]
[MOUTHING]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Hello.
[GROANS]
What are you doing here? It's the middle of the afternoon.
This son of a b Sean walked today.
I finally get on the show a little goofy puppet.
How insanely underrepresented do you think we are in Hollywood scripts?
And finally, one comes along, Rainbow Ranch...
This lunatic walks.
You walked?
I can't walk.
No legs.
Not you. You.
[SIGHING]
Yeah, I did.
Thanks for sticking up for me last night.
I wanna be in The Alien play.
It's off.
I walked. I just sent the actors home.
You really quit?
Yeah.
Was that smart?
Who knows? Happy birthday.
[WHISPERING] You lied to me.
Though I understand why,
were you kissing her?
No.
We were about to do a kissing scene.
That's all.
It's called fluffing.
It's just this thing that I picked up in the porn industry.
I hear that's not all you picked up in the porn industry.
Oh, no. Yeah.
Chlamydia, crabs, herpes, like a lot of stuff actually.
Yeah, yeah.
We thought it would be canceled before you had to find out.
It felt wrong to not have you there.
-I'm too precious. -Yeah.
You are.
You are too precious. Precious to me.
Which is why we need to get you cleaned up.
Hey, aren't you turning like, fifty, today?
Forty. Oh, my God. Why does everyone think I'm turning 50?
That's right. Right, right, right.
Do not just screw that up, Brandi.
That's right. When we were rehearsing in bed last week, right?
-That's right. -Too soon?
Uh-huh.
Okay. Well, 40, 60, 50...
Yeah, 40, 40.
Forty. It's for sure 40? Okay.
Well, who really cares?
Because we are celebrating.
Mmm!
ALL: Happy birthday!
SAMANTHA: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I can't believe it.
-You're wearing it. -Yes!
-To the witch. -ALL: To the witch.
To the mock chicken salad lady who saved the world
at Terremoto coffee shop.
ALL: To the mock chicken salad lady.
To being too cool for your own damn show.
ALL: To being too cool!
All right, I'm already drunk.
To changing the channel on reality.
ALL: To changing the channel.
To changing reality.
By dressing up like Pikachu.
[OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION]
ALL: Happy birthday.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
[MELODICA PLAYING]
♪ La La Land was a lie
♪ And I feel
♪ Everyone gets old But not everyone makes it big
♪ We could go home To Minneapolis
♪ Where life is pre-planned
♪ Where they love us And care about us
♪ And there's all that Free land
♪ I don't have the answers, bro
♪ I'm perfectly torn
♪ Between a good life in Mini
♪ And all these friends I adore
♪ And LA is so ugly, backwards
♪ And crammed
♪ Though the weather there's brutal
♪ The streets so familiar And grand
♪ Only LA can impress us
♪ Our plans are so vast
♪ Though I know in my heart
♪ They're all based in my past
♪ We both want a kid A house and self-worth
♪ A stake in the game
♪ Next to that
♪ Telling stories just seems sort of lame
♪ If the opposite facts Sometime
♪ Ring just as true
♪ We give all of that up
♪ To do what folks Like us do... ♪
[ALL SINGING TOGETHER]
[APPLAUSE]
I love you. We love you.
Thank you so much for coming out to the first
LA production of the Pavement Players.
Yes, a question.
Does your mom really pay your rent?
-[SCATTERED LAUGHTER] -Occasionally.
-Yes. -I just loved your play.
You're so inspiring.
Thank you for your honesty,
and thank you for burning with innocence.
You're welcome. Just please, dear God, don't be an actor.
What was your inspiration for the play?
Failure and... pride.
Thank you all so much again for coming.
We love you and... fight the power.
MAN: Whoo!
[APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
♪ In the face of growing up
♪ I could see the world As plain as trees
♪ And bright as day
♪ Maybe you could tell me How I could lose
♪ The one thing that was true
♪ And go away
♪ Where is the moonlight
♪ Help me find the way
♪ Where is the starlight
♪ Help me find the way
♪ Show me some lamplight
♪ Help me find the way
♪ Till I can see That world again
♪ Falling light
♪ In the day, in the night
♪ To sun deck
♪ I don't see The way I got down
♪ To this bend
♪ Where is the moonlight?
♪ Help me find the way
♪ Where is the starlight
♪ Help me find the way
♪ Show me some lamplight
♪ Help me find the way
♪ Till I can see that world again
♪ Till I can see that world again ♪