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Hi, my name is Hoi.
I want to tell you a story about love
and the agony of love lost.
No worries, no charges at all. Now listen carefully.
It starts the way every story starts.
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, male princess…
It's the place where my heart shattered,
and the hope for The One was lost.
But after that,
all your investment turned into gold. What more do you want?
A huge pile of money but all alone, where is the joy in that?
Just focus on the presentation today.
Hello.
Why did you come to Vietnam?
To make my wildest dreams come true.
All done.
Why so fast?
Technically you should give me a full body search.
Don't you like pretty girls?
MISS HOI
Miss Hoi is here.
Let me take your bags.
Move away.
Put your hands up.
Stay still.
Listen, garlic is for eating,
not for your pits.
Let's go.
From now on, I'm your special assistant!
Do a good job and I'll give you money
to cure your odor and pluck your nose hair.
Hey! This isn't just nose hair.
It's my lucky nose hair.
-Lucky nose hair? -Yep!
Have all of Pham Huong Hoi's requests been met?
Yes, done.
He's our most difficult VIP guest.
Don't worry, I triple checked the list.
Boss,
that painter is staring at you again.
Don't be a big mouth, Quyen.
Hello, lovely ladies.
Hi, Anh Son.
For you.
Did your father tell you I was coming over for dinner?
He didn't say anything.
I'm not coming to discuss business with your father.
Well, tonight I have to go visit the children at the hospital.
Then we can do it this weekend instead.
Arrived?
I asked for a golden hot boy
and you gave me the King of Garlic.
My God, are you trying to ambush me?
I just want you to focus on your investors' meeting.
What, you don't trust me?
The bank doesn't do business solely on "trust."
How about my New York villa?
That's mortgaged.
You've sold it already.
How about the Malibu spa?
Not enough. They want your Beverly Hills estate too.
That's fine. Just give it to them.
I've been nurturing it for so long.
I have to make it happen no matter what.
Of course. Or else we'll both be bankrupt.
Here you go.
You want a spank?
Why would I want to get spanked? Just shine them!
Shiny spank then.
Hey, where are you going?
To exchange money.
-It's almost time for the meeting. -Don't worry, I'll be fast.
Excuse me, sir!
What are you looking for?
I'm looking for a money exchange place.
Exchange money, huh?
Over there! I'll take you.
-Come with me. -Thanks so much.
-What's your name? -My name's Phuoc.
Phuoc, huh?
Phuoc is so sweet, and handsome too.
But work out to get more buff, I really like--
What are you doing?
Let go of me!
Where's the money?
I'll tell you. Why so aggressive?
Stop!
I'm afraid of knives!
You almost scratched my face!
Mister!
Go call the cops!
Hold on! I'll find the police!
Who put this metal gate here?
Hey you!
Hey you, stop!
Where am I? Am I dead?
Ooh! He's looking at me with such intensity!
Wake me up, resuscitate me!
That stubbles going to poke me but I like it! I like it!
It tastes strange--
Like betel nut?
Grandma! Go home and eat betel nuts!
Grandma! Don't move! Stop it! I don't want to eat betel nuts!
I'm awake! I'm awake!
No one can leave this room.
Hoi is here.
Good afternoon, everyone.
What I am about to present to you
will change your lives forever.
Hello, miss.
Hi, Nam. How can I help you?
Can you help me return this money to one of your guests?
He has red hair.
What are you trying to say?
Wait a minute.
Have you ever dreamed of a project
that has made you lose sleep, blood, sweat and tears
and you even gambled your entire fortune
in order to make it happen?
You got it, right? Congrats! You're the best!
Book my ticket.
Tonight, after I sign the contract, I need to go back to the US immediately.
Why such a rush?
I'm officially obsessed.
If I stay any longer, I might die.
Hello, Mr. Truc.
I'm here!
Sit and have a drink.
Baby, take care of Hoi for me, okay?
What's up?
Trying to excite me?
Good luck!
Keep trying!
Your name is Hoi?
Hoi what?
My name is Miss Hoi, baby.
Know what I mean?
That's enough. You're eating your own kind.
Go and continue wiping the pole down.
Look, sign this contract and we'll both become billionaires.
Really.
Drink up, baby.
Sign this contract. I'll do a fire dance for you.
You promise!
I promise!
Done.
Turn off the music. Turn on the lights!
Stay where you are.
Mr. Le Van Truc,
we have orders to take you and your partners for questioning.
What questioning?
About money laundering and crack cocaine dealing.
I'm innocent! I'm not guilty! Let me go!
-This is unjust! -Quiet so people can sleep!
Why am I in a man's jail cell?
I want a different room!
What exactly do you want?
Listen--
What are you here for?
Rape.
Which street do you usually rape in?
Hey, no I mean-- What I want to ask is who raped you?
Rape is a crime, that's what I meant to say.
Pham Huong Hoi.
Oh, yes? I don't need another cell.
I'm fine here.
Sign your papers and get out of here.
Can you give me just a minute?
Hurry up.
I told you guys I was innocent but no one believed me.
Check your belongings and sign here.
This is a huge insult to me.
If it wasn't for that handsome man, I'd hate you for life!
Did you tell him we're freezing his assets to investigate further?
Dear Mr. Hoi, your card has been declined.
That is not possible.
I'm sorry to inform you that from now on, you are no longer a VIP here.
Why am I not a VIP here anymore?
Because we can't associate with heroin dealers.
Huge mistake!
I'm innocent.
I live here alone.
Come on in.
Your place is gorgeous.
Right, your name means "Perfect Beauty" so you must live in a palace.
Come on in.
This is the living room, the dining room
and the bedroom.
Who pays you to draw this?
I'm so sick of drawing the Mona Lisa all week.
I'm paying you to forge paintings, not to be creative.
Why can't you consider that
many people will like my painting?
Sadly, the truth is
even if we gave it out for free, no one would take your painting.
Paint the Mona Lisa.
You want me to make a living out of other people's greatness my whole life?
Fine. Pack your things.
We don't need artists here.
You're still awake?
How was the meeting?
-Disastrous. -But you're on a lucky streak.
How long until the banks tighten up?
Latest is the end of the month.
Okay, I'll see if I can borrow more money from friends.
What friends other than me?
What are we going to do?
We?
Forget it. Figure it out yourself.
I'm out of this project.
No profit so he just bails?
I don't need him.
I'm not sure what to do.
Is that all? You don't know what to do?
I'll call Lady Six Temples, she'll know what to do.
I see a problem with the first card.
An extremely handsome knight has just shown up.
He has turned your life upside down.
This has happened to you before, hasn't it?
Here he is!
-Dung? -You fell for him at first sight.
Hey, I'm not boy crazy.
Dung was a gentleman, that's why I liked him.
That's why you can't control love.
How did the story end?
Dung fell in love with another girl.
But then all this luck and success came to you.
Then you met this guy and all the bad luck came back, right?
You want both money and love
but that is not your destiny.
Will I lose everything because of this white knight?
If you want your luck to return
then you must choose between love and money.
Being alone with money
is something I can try to live with.
Otherwise, how can I stand it?
It's because you're so boy crazy that it came to this.
Hoi!
What are you doing?
Did you know I was about to jump?
What if I got scared, fell down and died?
Then come back inside.
Stay right there!
If you take one more step I'm jumping to my death.
Hoi! Hoi!
I'm sticking my leg out. It's dangerous. You can't come closer.
If I don't, how can I save you?
Stay right there.
I'm sticking out both legs now.
If I fall you're at fault in the eyes of the law.
What would I be charged with?
You'd be charged with killing me before I had a chance to commit suicide.
-Let go of me! -Come back in now!
Hoi! Pull me up!
Grab onto my body. I need both hands to hold on!
Try to pull us up with all your strength!
Sorry but I'm gay, not a bodybuilder.
Hoi!
Why did you pull my shorts down?
Typical man!
Before you die you want to try a man, right?
You perv! Put my shorts back on!
Oh my shorts, my shorts!
Hey don't look up, only look down.
Are you trying to peep at my privates?
That's not a place you can hold onto.
If you pull it down then it's Game Over.
There's nowhere else to hold onto!
Oh, my thong!
You're stretching it out!
Let go! Let go of my thong!
Did that hurt?
How can you play slingshot right now?
I'm all bruised now.
What are you doing?
Try to hang on a little longer.
Endure a little more.
What are you trying to do?
Oh my God! I feel like I'm getting raped.
This game should be played with animals.
Hoi!
Quick! I can't take it anymore.
Go ahead and breathe.
There, breathe.
Why didn't you let me die?
But how do I forget about the artist
so I can get my luck back?
When I first moved here I met Phan and fell for her instantly.
I asked her out and she said yes.
That night I dumped her right away.
I don't like girls who are too easy.
Your story has nothing to do with me.
Sure it does!
Like I said before,
in order to get over them, you need to know them better.
When you know them, all their bad habits come out.
Dump as you wish.
I don't even know where he lives. How am I to get to know him?
Didn't you first see him at the hotel?
Just call them and ask where to find him.
If you buy all the paintings
I'll give you a discount.
But Nam is an artist on my payroll.
Hey, do you have 300 million I can borrow?
What?
300 million?
-Yes. -I don't even have 300,000.
So my life is really over?
It's probably worth 100 million.
You think a 100-million-dong watch has a chance?
This is over 20,000 USD.
This watch is a gift from my ex-boyfriend.
I'd rather die than sell this. Understand?
Now what?
Now your watch or your project?
When my father was alive he really loved your family.
My father and Uncle Phong saw you as family.
Excuse me, sir.
I'd like your permission
to marry your daughter.
This is such a surprise.
I'm sorry.
Please sit and talk to my father.
I'll leave now.
Hello.
-Hello, miss. -Who are you really?
Why are you following me?
When did I do that?
If you weren't following me then how did you know where I live?
Now I understand.
You left this notebook at the hotel.
Your address is in here.
I stopped by to return it to you.
But I saw your dad with an important guest
so it didn't seem like the right time.
Here you go.
-Thank you. -It's nothing.
Miss!
I wanted to ask
if you want to be my model
for a portrait painting.
Never mind. Pretend I didn't ask you anything. Bye.
Why me?
I've always wanted to become a real painter
but I've never had the freedom to create.
When I saw you
there was something about you
that makes me feel like
I can make my dream come true.
And so--
In that case, let me think about it.
I will let you know later.
Take your time. Maybe a couple of days.
Then, on the third day, we can start?
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
My daughter is very stubborn.
You need to be patient.
I have been doing my best.
You needed money to keep this house
and I gave it to you.
But all you have to say is "patience"?
Alright. I'll find a way to talk her.
I'd feel more at ease
if this was a mutually beneficial relationship.
Thu Le.
Welcome home.
Hello Dad, hello Son.
Sit down with us.
Please continue without me.
I have to visit the kids early tomorrow.
Let me pick you up tomorrow.
-Thanks in advance, Son. -Yes.
You'd better take a rest.
You look troubled, sir.
It's nothing. Just business as usual.
If it's business, why is Thu Le involved?
It's not your concern.
Hello.
Have a seat.
I need to get going,
so just tell me what you need to say.
I want you to come back to work for me.
What do you mean?
I am just a seller of forged paintings.
But perhaps you are a real artist.
Yesterday someone bought all of your paintings.
And he wants to meet you
to sign a contract.
So?
Do I look manly with a mustache?
Sure, aside from that, there's nothing manly about you.
Whatever!
I haven't started acting.
You'd better remember
everything I told you
or else you'll blow our cover.
What?
It's you who's going to blow it.
How can I blow it? Show me!
Look at the way you're holding your glass. Not manly at all!
Put your little finger back in.
I'm going to grab the glass, see? Can't tell.
You can't tell anything at all, see?
You're so good. Now take a sip.
Watch closely. So manly!
Hey. What's this hand over here doing?
Whatever!
Don't worry when Nam comes I'll use both hands.
Forget it, no drinking to be safe.
Happy now? Whatever.
What did you just do?
Fixed my hair.
Forget it. No man fixes their hair like that.
Just flick it.
Try it.
Forget it. Don't flick your hair.
That's even worse than you drinking water.
I won't drink water or flick my hair and our cover won't be blown.
Sure.
Eh, notice anything over there?
See what?
Don't you see that huge ass?
I don't see anything.
The girl on the outside is covering him.
Oh, God.
Hot damn!
I would look fabulous wearing that skirt!
Drop it!
What are you talking about?
You're a boy, not a girl, okay?
-I forgot! -Look at her ass!
The gayness slipped out.
Look again.
I looked already.
-Already? -Yes!
Why no feeling?
When you look at her ass you must have some thoughts.
What kind of thoughts?
Watch me checking her out and do the same?
Wow.
Now you try!
Wow, huh?
Hold on. She's getting annoyed.
Her boyfriend will beat us up.
Let's check out another girl!
Let's find a girl with a man's ass.
-What? -I mean,
let's find a girl with a woman's ass.
That's right! That's how you look at an ass!
Great acting!
Her ass must be banging!
Get a hold of yourself!
I'm Nam, hello there.
Hello.
Please have a seat.
Let me introduce to you to Hoang My, my boss.
Nice to meet you.
You look familiar.
You must be mistaking me for someone else. I always stay inside.
That's right.
He's my bodyguard.
If I'm at home, he's at home.
That's right,
even when my boss goes out I like to stay inside the house.
To protect the house.
I think I met you at--
Your paintings are beautiful. I like them.
Let me tell you,
my boss is one of the most famous collectors in Vietnam.
But no one knows him.
Because he's famous for being a secret art collector.
I don't quite understand,
but that's okay.
I'm still wondering why
you bought all of my paintings.
To put it simply, my boss really likes surrealist paintings.
I'm sorry but I don't paint surrealist pieces.
And I'm not a fan of that style.
Exactly! Exactly.
My boss really likes
things he doesn't like.
That's why he likes it.
Do you get what I'm saying?
No.
Yup, then you will understand soon.
My painting style is abstract expressionism,
-not surrealism. -Yes.
Right, my boss is hard to understand.
Abstract expressionism is also hard to understand.
My boss hopes that two things that are hard to understand
can come together to make something so--
Stupid!
What my boss means to say is,
I'm sorry but I don't see your boss saying anything.
You're the only one talking.
Yes, sir?
My boss just told me that when he looks at your paintings,
they're really
like paintings.
The colors are very--
Every color looks like that color.
My boss would like to compliment your composition
because it's very composed.
Not a cluster mess.
Your boss's critique of my art is very
critical.
That's it! You and my boss are on the same page.
Contract.
This is the contract between my boss and you.
This contract says
that my boss has exclusive rights to all your paintings.
And you will have me as a bodyguard 24/7.
24/7, huh?
Because from now on you are the company's investment.
Sign it. I will start "securing" you after you sign.
Gosh. Hello?
Have you figured out his bad habits?
I need more time.
You've had a few days already.
I know but Nam has no faults.
Nam should've been named "Perfect Beauty," not you.
-What's taking you so long? -Hello?
Yes boss, got it. My boss asked about you.
He wants to know how many paintings you've done so far.
Understand?
What are you doing?
I should be asking you that.
You've been in here for an hour.
What are you doing?
I'm done, I'm done.
I'm going to go hide, eh, I mean, I'm leaving.
Hello? SOS! SOS!
What's SOS?
It's SOS! Help me!
Oh my goodness, Nam peed right in front of me!
Why didn't you tell him to turn around?
He turned but then I turned with him.
Oh man, the way he was standing looked very heroic.
He looked so tall and statuesque.
Damnit, I accidentally saw it, now what?
Next time, close your eyes, plug your ears.
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
That's right! Okay, I'm hanging up. I need to meditate to clear my conscience.
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
I'm going to die.
Why do you keep challenging me?
Poor me.
What is it now?
It's simple, you're wearing underwear,
so I'm just looking.
I mean, I can see it.
So what? What do we do?
If you weren't here, I'd sleep in the nude.
It's cooler.
In that case, just act like I'm not here.
Wait a moment.
-What? -Fix your hair again.
No, slick back your hair.
Men only need to flick their head and the hair goes into place.
We don't need to use our hands.
You just did it earlier.
Well, if I did use my hands, I'd do something like this.
Stop.
You shave your armpits?
I have an armpit hair loss disease.
It's like how some people go bald, I'm bald in the armpits.
Never heard of that.
I have smelly armpits!
Why did you make me tell you?
I figured if I shaved them, they'd smell less.
I didn't expect that the more you shave, the smellier it gets.
-Want to smell? -Keep it yourself.
Just say you have smelly armpits.
If you want to know, just ask,
or you think I should be proud and run around to brag?
Everyone, I have smelly pits! Want to take a whiff?
Where's it from?
What?
Whatever, you want to take a look? The condition is like this.
If it smells, both pits smell.
It's not one-sided.
It's not one side is garlic, one side is peaches.
It's not like one side is pig shit and the other is orchids.
Or orchid blossoms on this side and a pile of pig shit on the other side.
Flowers must have a bunch of ox shit handy.
I remember where I met you, now.
Open your eyes.
You can't open your eyes normally?
I have to squint to think deeply about it.
Quiet. I remember.
I remember that I've never met you anywhere before.
I remember now!
That wasn't it.
Why do you keep trying to remember?
Let me ask you, the guy you think is me,
does he have a mustache like mine?
I'll remember eventually.
Then good for you.
Try to remember.
Hey, Nam.
It's Thu Le.
About you painting my portrait, I've given it thought
and alright, I agree to do it.
But on one condition: I can change my mind at any time if I don't like it anymore.
Alright then, bye.
Nam wants to paint Thu Le!
Why does he want to paint Thu Le instead of me?
How can I let Nam know
that he has broken a secret of the universe
that needs to be fixed?
Good lord, what's wrong with you Hoi?
I'll tell you what's the matter. Hot girls get to wear makeup
and dresses while I have to wear army clothes.
I could never go to the army, so dangerous!
I'd have to pick up a grenade, bite the key and spit it out
then throw it up in the air.
But I wouldn't throw it far enough and it'd drop in front of me and boom! Martyr.
Huh? Have you forgotten that you're supposed to do everything
to find something that makes you forget about Nam?
It's your fault too.
This is Nam we're talking about, not Phan or whatever.
-Love as you want, leave as you wish. -I know!
You hate smelly armpits, right?
Just go out and smell his armpits.
After you've smelled them, you'll lose all feelings for him.
You expect me to run out and say, "Hey Nam, can I smell your armpits?"
Lame.
-Oh! Nam's shirt is here. -Smell it now!
I'm dead. It smells so good.
That's the smell of deodorant, not real armpit sweat.
If you want to smell his real pits,
you need to find a way to make him sweat.
Then you can smell his real sweat.
I have a way, but I'll need your help.
Nam, Nam!
-Something happened! -What is it?
-Your supplies box-- -Hey!
Know what? It got caught and he rode off with it.
-This is what I think, I think that-- -Let go of me!
-But I do think-- Nam! -Stop!
Hey stop! You have my bag!
Nam!
Nam! Nam!
Stop, stop.
What is it?
-Can I have my box back? -What box?
-My toolbox got caught on your chair. -Dang, how did that happen?
Hey, dog!
Bitch!
Female dog! Hot girl dog!
What the heck?
I'm so thirsty.
I have to wash my mustache.
That's so dirty!
Sir. Do you have glue? Can I get a little?
Glue?
Thank you.
Please give me a little more to be sure.
I'll pay you back later.
What kind of glue is this, it works so well!
Steel glue.
Why wasn't it written on both sides?
One side is enough, the other is in English.
What have you been doing?
I was--
What happened?
I got a toothache.
Where?
No, don't pull my hand. If you pull it, my tooth will fall out.
Let me take a look.
Nam.
You see, I had to paste--
My teeth are all there! It didn't fall out!
It doesn't hurt anymore!
We're late. We have to hurry.
Nam.
You're covered in sweat, let me wipe your armpits for you.
-What are you doing? -You might catch a cold.
Stop playing around.
So?
Did you smell it yet?
So? What does it smell like?
Smells like durian.
Nam, help me! Nam, please.
Please, help me. They're trying to kill me.
Please save me.
Now, suddenly, I'm responsible for another guy.
Aren't you embarrassed to have a woman take you home?
Wake up.
I called you out to help me forget about Nam,
not to get drunk.
I'm trying to get over Phan too.
You said you dumped her.
Well, she's still pretty, it seemed like a waste to leave her.
Just yesterday I asked her out,
I asked her for a kiss and she gave me one
my lucky nose hair went into her mouth
and she kicked me! And so we broke up again.
I'm the one who's exhausted.
It's hard enough trying to forget Nam but now I have Huong on my back.
God, she just attaches herself to me constantly.
Creepy. Now how can I tell her that fried donuts
will never be happy with cream puffs?
Just go to her and tell her the truth.
That you're gay.
Why don't you scream it for the whole planet?
Yelling to the neighbors-- if I say something Nam will know.
Oh my God!
Disgusting!
Oh God, puke got on me.
Use your lucky nose hair to clean it all up.
No wonder that Phan left you.
There isn't a man doesn't do naughty things after drinking.
I should have fallen for you.
I could've forgotten in one musical beat.
I'd pluck the guitar string and ping!
Are you laughing?
Right. I need to get Nam drunk
so I can forget him in one musical beat.
Nam, do you believe that
this is the first time I'm celebrating my birthday.
There's a first time for everything, right?
But why only start now?
Before I didn't have you.
Why would I celebrate by myself? Too sad.
I bought some rice liquor too.
No one's going home until they're drunk.
Here we are!
Huh?
Nam.
Hoi!
Hoi, from now, whenever it's your birthday,
there will always be the four of us, okay?
Hoi,
no one goes home 'til they're drunk, okay?
One, two, three, cheers!
Nam.
Nam, tell me how many more shots until you're drunk?
I've been drunk since the first shot.
Why do you seem so normal?
How am I supposed to be?
Um, you're still not getting it?
Suddenly I have a headache and feel dizzy.
I'll take Thu Le home.
Go ahead.
Everybody knows what's really going on here.
Let me ask you something.
You're older but don't have a girlfriend.
Don't you like girls?
Of course I do.
I really like girls.
I enjoy girls.
I'm crazy for girls.
I'm a man!
Not a woman!
Then what does Hoi think of this woman Huong over here?
It's nothing.
if you're shy then I'll say it first.
Tonight I want
to be your lover.
Huong, the truth is--
Am I that ugly?
No, you're not ugly.
Then what's wrong?
In my head is like, wow!
Really?
Hoi, come to me!
-Hoi! -Wow!
Put your shirt on.
I can't control myself, I might do something naughty, against the law.
But if you don't do anything, then you'll be guilty!
Oh my God, they're stuck to my back.
Hoi, I'm giving you my innocence.
Just take it!
I'm not taking it. You keep it and use it.
I don't want people to think I took advantage of you.
No.
I want to be taken advantage of.
Oh, you bad girl!
But I like it, I like it.
Oh you're so done to me!
I want you so badly!
Hoi…
I'm warming up.
One round, two round, three round.
If I don't warm up I might pull something.
Are you sure? Will you change your mind?
Alright, I have to warm up the other direction.
Change your mind.
No.
You're stubborn, aren't you?
Oh, I'm getting a phone call, hold on!
Oh man, who's calling me at this time?
Give me a minute. Hello?
Hello, Miss Hoi! I want to meet and talk about our project.
-Who's this? -I'm Son.
I have an emergency. Please pay the taxi for me.
Give me my clothes.
Whatever you do, don't let her in.
I know, I know.
Who are you? Why are you in my way?
Why would I stop you if I didn't know you?
Weird question.
Don't you remember me?
Look closely, think harder.
Hello.
I hope I'm not meeting you too late.
It's too bad you passed up a solid investment opportunity.
It's business.
Those who hesitate will fail.
Then what about those people who the cops took in for heroin charges?
That was a misunderstanding.
After that I had meetings with other business partners in the city.
Maybe you did.
But I know those meetings didn't go anywhere.
And according to my calculations,
you're about to go bankrupt.
Looks like you don't remember.
Let me start from the beginning.
It's not convenient here, let's walk around and talk.
What are you trying to do?
Trying to trick a virgin, huh?
I'm going to yell!
No! Calm down!
I've loved Thu Le since she was very young.
And I want her to be my wife.
You mean,
you want me to break up Nam and Thu Le?
After Nam and Thu Le break up,
I will help you deal with the bank while the cops clear your name.
And when I marry Thu Le,
I will personally sign the contract with you.
It was the morning, but because--
Can you hurry to the part we met?
Where did we meet?
I remember now!
-It was 5 a.m. in the afternoon. -What?
5 p.m. in the morning.
No, 5:00 a.m. in the morning.
That's right, 5:00 a.m. in the morning.
You were the gentleman, right?
That day I remember I went to Ben Thanh Market.
-Ben Thanh Market! -I was carrying a bag
and then I dropped it.
It was me! I picked up all the stuff you dropped
and put it into your bag.
We know each other.
Sorry I've never been to Ben Thanh Market.
What do you mean?
Get lost.
Getting lost…
We're done for!
What's wrong with you?
Miss Huong!
Hey, Son, are you here drinking coffee?
Yes, I'm having coffee
with a friend.
Hello, Huong.
Just my business partner.
Thu Le's not out with you today?
Nope!
I'm out with my boyfriend tonight.
He's in the toilet. He might've eaten something bad.
Do you need something with Thu Le?
No.
I'll just call her later.
If you'll excuse me.
Bye bye, business partner.
See you, Huong.
MISS HUONG
So, have you thought about my offer?
Remember those who hesitate will fail.
I agree. Help me get out of this situation.
Hello? We're on our way.
Son.
What's the emergency?
I know sneaking around like this isn't good.
But I care about you.
I don't want you to be with anyone inappropriate.
Thu Le…
Why are you so early?
Look, after today we'll be done with the portrait.
Nam.
Are you hiding something from me?
What are you talking about?
Thu Le,
how did you get these photos?
Thu Le, I'm sorry,
let me explain.
I beg you, let me go, Mr. Artist.
Go find another young girl to be your muse!
Or go find the girl in the photos.
I bet she'd even do a nude portrait.
If you don't stop Nam,
I will send these photos to Nam.
Thu Le, Son is here to visit you.
Thao was my first love.
We were very happy.
I even promised to marry her.
But then,
I found out that Thao had been a heroin addict.
I was shocked and didn't know what to do.
You know, I didn't have money to buy books,
let alone afford her addiction.
After that,
her addiction got worse, and she owed people a lot of money.
If I hadn't abandoned her,
she wouldn't have turned out like this.
That's why I've always tried my best to help her.
That night she suddenly wanted to come back to me.
Thu Le ran away without giving me a chance to explain.
I think you should forget Thu Le.
What are you talking about?
Let's just say Thu Le forgives you.
Do you think she would still trust you?
I didn't mean to lie to her.
If you don't believe me, let me prove it to you.
Do you know that I've been lying to you?
You look very familiar.
Exactly! I'm the one you saved near the hotel!
Remember me now?
So you did all that
just to get your mojo back?
I was a fool to think
that someone purchased my painting because I have talent.
It's nothing but a lie.
Whether you meant it or not,
a lie is a lie.
Thanks to you, I get it now.
Please leave immediately.
The cards looks bad.
I've done the most cruel
and inhumane things to Nam.
So why are the cards still bad?
I don't believe this bullshit.
I'm about to sign a contract with Son.
So you say you got your mojo back.
Then why do you still look depressed?
Nam.
Nam is not here, let's go!
NAM THE ARTIST
Why did you stop?
Waiting for a traffic light to turn green for you?
No. I just don't know which way. Look!
FAIRY FERRY
Ferry or Fairy? Challenging my IQ?
Does Vietnam have any airports named Air Pot?
So they have two Fairy Ferries?
Are you crazy? Why would there be two Fairy Ferries?
Would there be two Tan Son Nhat airports?
Then why does your bike have two wheels?
-How can it run without two wheels? -Whatever!
Stop being so gay!
Now what, which way do we go?
What's taking you so long?
That's right! This way! Go this way.
How do you know?
The Saint of Love is showing me! Go, go!
Thank you, Saint of Love!
Nam! Nam!
Nam! Stop! Nam! Don't go! Nam! You cannot go! Nam!!
It's too late!
Nam! Please don't go! Nam! Don't go, please!
Nam! Hey, Nam!
Someone help me!
Why are you guys so heartless?
It's no use. The ferry is leaving.
Move aside! Let me take care of it!
What are you doing? Killing us? I don't care!
You want to kill yourself?
Nam! Wait for me! I'm coming to you!
Nam don't go!
Ah! Where's my bike? Nam catch me!
Nam, I have something important to tell you!
I want to say, I don't know how to swim.
I'm going to sink.
You are an interesting man.
Yesterday, you were an infamous playboy.
You've always been surrounded by party girls.
But today you want to have a family with a nice girl whom I adore.
After getting married and becoming president,
my wish is that you will always stay by my side and guide me.
It is my responsibility to carry out your father's will.
Hoi.
Lucky me, I thought you were an old grandma with garlic breath.
Are you okay?
I was out cold, I don't know what happened.
But your mustache tickled me.
How did I tickle you?
When you did this to me.
Nam.
I'm telling you the truth.
I've done everything possible to stop loving you.
But it's useless.
The harder I try, the deeper I fall for you.
There are so many women in the world, why fall in love with a man?
How about you? There are many gays in the world,
why fall in love with a woman?
The ferry is about to depart, I need to go.
Nam!
You need to find Thu Le, and explain everything to her!
Stop wasting your energy.
Dear Nam,
I don't know why things have turned out this way.
I know you didn't want to hurt me
but I've accepted Son's proposal.
Dad just told me that Son has been helping him paying a huge debt.
I don't love Son, but I need to fulfil my responsibility as a daughter.
If that's the case,
you need to stop the wedding.
Thu Le will never be happy with Son.
How? Even if I work hard for the rest of my life,
it's still impossible for me to help her.
Don't you think it's a coincidence
that both me and her father were involved with Son's scam?
Nam! Please don't go!
Hey, ferry! Don't leave!
Pull the ferry in!
-Let me go! -Don't make me fall into the water again!
My belly is full of water already.
This water is full of crap!
If I ate a seed now, it would grow into a plant.
Hey! You two are still alive!
Amazing! I thought you were dead, I bought offerings to pray already!
Are you going to help me or just stand there and watch? Quick!
Hoi! It's dangerous!
Are you trying to smash my banana?
Let me go! It's dangerous! Hoi!
Go to hell! You smashed my banana!
Nam, are you okay? Any scratches?
Why you are so nice to him but so cruel to me ?
Because your nose hair is too long. Quick, lend me your phone!
-Hello! -I need your help right now!
If you care for Thu Le, you have to help me stop this wedding.
What? Hurry up, Son is about to pick up Thu Le!
-For what? -For the wedding, obviously.
What! Why so soon?
How do I know? It's not my wedding.
Whatever, do you know anything about her father's business?
I don't see how the business is related to the marriage.
Just answer me please! Just tell me.
Well, he borrowed a lot of money to invest in a real estate project.
But his partner filed for bankruptcy out of the blue.
He lost all his money and is now buried under a bunch of debt.
-Who is his partner? -I don't remember the name.
Is it "Nam Investment"?
Sounds familiar. But I'm not sure, since my English is so amazing.
Hold on.
That's him!
If you were here, I'd give you a huge hug and kiss!
Hello?
That means Son and Mr. Truc have been working together!
It's a normal thing to do in business, right?
Normal my ass! They teamed up to scam people!
Mr. Truc is just a thug.
Son is the real mastermind! And Thu Le's father is a victim!
But why? To force the marriage?
I don't care!
If we can prove that Son is behind this scam,
we will exonerate her family debt.
-Let's go! -But how can we prove it?
Force Mr. Truc to spill the tea!
Hoi! Do you see that? They're putting Mr. Truc in the ambulance!
I'm gay, not blind. I can see as clearly as a normal person.
Follow that car!
Please hang on, a doctor will be here shortly.
Ouch.
Ouch. It hurts so much I can't take it anymore!
Give me another shot of anesthesia!
-Just try to rest. -Wait a minute, sister.
You two occupy the cop, don't let him in while I work on Mr. Truc.
Go!
Stay still. What's on your face?
It's from the patient.
That's right.
You're faking your illness to escape, right?
Look, are you in cahoots with Son to rip off Thu Le's father?
Mr. Truc! Confess to me, go ahead and confess!
If you don't confess I'm going to yell.
Confess! Are you going to confess?
Thank you.
What kind of shot did you give Hoi and for what?
I gave you a shot for the pain.
You're not hurting anymore?
Oh that's right, I was hurting here
and then you gave me a shot.
I was in so much pain that it didn't hurt anymore.
But since you brought it up, it hurts again. Ouch, it hurts so much!
Oh, it hurts!
Don't worry, later your legs will go numb.
Once your whole body goes numb, so will the pain.
It's anesthesia?
Huh? What did you say your name was?
My name is Hoi.
Well, Hoi is my nickname at home.
But people call me the name that's on my chart!
There! It's right on there.
What name is on your charts?
The name on the charts is the name people call me.
Why are you asking? You can't figure it out?
Can't think for yourself?
Then the name you go by is Ho Mong Thu Thuy?
Uh, that's right.
My mother gave birth to
Metal, Wood, Wind, Fire.
So my mom named me Thu Thuy so that we'd be all natural elements.
Then what's your mother's name?
Are you asking me
her nickname at home, outside, or what's on the chart?
Your mother's name isn't on this chart.
Well then,
if it's not written down on the chart, why are you asking?
I'm a patient not a criminal. Over there! That's a criminal.
The Zobentos guy. Go get his schedule.
I'm exhausted. I'm sick and hurt, please go away so I can rest.
You're still in pain?
Obviously I'm in pain, so I come here.
Who would come to a hospital when I'm happy and healthy
and want to get a shot?
The shot I gave you was three times stronger than the morning shot you got.
Can you take a part of it out?
How could I take it out? One shot is about 20 regular shots.
Hurry and pull down your pants.
All of a sudden I don't hurt. No more pain, I don't hurt at all!
It's like magic medicine, I don't hurt at all now.
Hurry and pull your pants down.
What did that girl just say?
-I was about to ask you. -I heard it but didn't understand a thing.
I forgot.
You haven't answered me.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Look here.
Did you know that the night you and I got arrested at the night club
was because Son ratted to the cops?
Are you telling me Son sold me out?
Yup, you were thrown in jail
while Son gets to reap the benefits of your plan.
It's up to you if you want to believe me or not.
You're trying to trick me right?
Don't blame me if you don't confess.
Lower your voice, the cop is right outside.
Injections are my specialty.
Dab the blood.
Who are you?
Why are you in my sister's bed?
Want me to call the guards?
No need.
Oh, Ms. Ho Mong Thu Thuy…
Oh, my leg…
He's gone! Hurry!
Hurry, he's got a head start, grab him.
Mr. Truc! Stop right there!
Shit, what's wrong with my leg?
Where you running off to?
Men!
Stop these guys, but hurry, the cops are right behind.
Hey, stop!
Don't chase me and I'll stop.
Confess and I won't chase you.
-I won't confess. -Then I'll chase you!
Then I'm running.
Hey! Stop!
-Don't chase me and I'll stop. -Confess then and I won't chase you.
-I'm not confessing! -Then I have to chase you.
Then I'm running.
Stop!
Don't chase me and I'll stop!
-Confess and I won't chase you! -I heard you, but I won't confess!
You want me to explain again from the beginning?
-Yes. -I'm tired of this.
Run and I'll chase you.
Shit, this leg is numb too.
Hey, your other leg isn't numb yet?
If I can still raise it above my head I'm still good.
I can still run after you.
Stop!
Don't worry, we're sisters, I have zero feelings for you.
"Give me but a firm spot on which to stand, and I shall move the earth."
Actually I'm getting turned on, oh yeah baby, feels so good!
Wow, wow, wow!
Thanks! Next time slap even harder!
Ti! Ti! You came to see your little brother?
Hey, you're not Ti.
Did you go to the wrong room? What's your room number?
I'll show you a shortcut.
Shut the door!
Remember to pump gas liter by liter. If you pump too much you'll get cheated.
Shit.
The medicine's reached my arms.
Nowhere to run now.
Now…
But I need to catch you.
I got you!
I can't breathe. Let go!
-Confess and I'll let go! -Let go and I'll confess!
-Promise me! -Uh-huh.
-Confess. -I'm running.
This is how you overtake someone.
You're going to die, you dare try to beat me?
Let go!
I'm going to destroy your pinky.
I'll take the guy on the right, you take the guy on the left.
Who takes the guy in the middle?
-Forget it. Let me deal with it. -Agreed.
Figured it out, huh?
If you were just a little slower I would've gotten you.
When I was young I was a professional purse snatcher.
-Purse snatcher? -Let go of me!
Why so fast? Can you slow down a bit?
Huh? It's slow, it doesn't hurt!
Hey, kid, go play somewhere else.
You shouldn't be watching these kinds of scenes. Too violent.
I'm falling! Falling!
Watch me catch you now!
Why do you keep going back and forth?
Can you escape from my grasp?
Hey! Stop!
Who are you?
It's me!
Ah! Turn left, move out of the way, careful!
-Catch him, catch him! -Pull me up!
Catch him for me! Don't pull him in.
-Catch him, catch him. -Pull me in. Faster!
Down the stairs, down the stairs, quickly!
That's right.
Give it a good push, son. Go ahead.
Only two more centimeters.
Don't worry. Try to push Auntie.
One day Auntie will have a baby girl and match-make her with you.
One centimeter to go.
Three centimeters to go.
Loss in capital.
Don't move.
How do I get out of here?
Stop! Stop!
Where are you running off to?
If you confess the truth, I will let you go.
Mr. Truc! Do you want to escape or do you want Son to escape?
I worked with Son on the real estate scam.
Why does Son want to trick Thu Le's father?
How am I supposed to know?
I confessed. Can I go now?
Here is the proof. Thank you for your help.
Thank you.
In the end the police had enough evidence to convict Son.
The only thing left to do was to pull Thu Le out of the meaningless wedding
as quickly as possible.
We did it so Nam and Thu Le could come full circle.
There are a few things that I keep thinking about but can't figure out.
Why did Son go to such lengths to get Thu Le to marry him?
Turns out Mr. Phong
was the keeper of Son's father's will.
Son's father clearly stated that only when his son was mature and became a real man,
and got married to a woman Mr. Phong approved of,
only then could he become the president of his father's company.
Life is strange.
There are some people who trade off love for everything else.
And there are some people who lose everything and then find love.
Looks like Nam and Thu Le got their happy ending.
As for me, after that project failed,
I was able to build my career back up.
Actually I had help from an old friend.
She's great, her only fault was stealing my love four years ago.
It's truly a sad story, the Princess is still very lonely.
My bag! My Prada bag!
My Limited Edition Prada bag!
Thief.
That's my bag.
My name's Pham Huong Hoi, what's yours?
My name's Thien.
Thank you, Thien.
Thank you, Thien
He's been holding that brush since this morning,
I wonder if he's even done one eye yet.
Sometimes he finishes an eye and then messes up the eyebrow
and has to start all over, stupid, huh?
Are your legs tired yet?
Have a seat.
Hoi, where's your family from?
-They're from over there. -Over where?
Over there
from the West.
You mean from the West? Or down west in the Mekong?
That's right, down in the Mekong.
Down below in the Mekong?
Oh man, what if we're from the same village?
Well, where's your family from?
From Long An.
-Oh is that so? -Yes!
I'm at the very tip of Ca Mau
right at the tip, really far.
Probably can't really reach it.
My father's side of the family is from Ca Mau!
But my father's side of the family is from Central Vietnam.
At the edge of the Central Region
they have oyster ponds and sticks poking up from the ground
and to get to my village you need to go up the mountains.
You hike up the mountains, then down into the caves, then dive into the desert,
travel over rivers, waterfalls, and hills and you're still not there.
Wow, such a rough journey.
It's kind of like my mother's side of the family.
It's a rough journey through the center to get there too.
Oh, yeah? My mother's side of the family is way up North.
At the edge of Northern Vietnam, right at the border of China.
You can't even get in because it's deep in the forest
and there are all these mines and bombs left behind from the war.
Nine out of ten people would die and one would have both legs crippled.
Hoi.
I really like people from the North.
Well I only like people from the South.
Dang we just met and you're already confessing your feelings?
You know I'm Southern and suddenly you're telling me how much you adore us?
Oh, I'm so embarrassed!
Take a drink or something…