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for a brighter future,
for all of us to be as one,
let us all be united for the world.
Make a donation at allunitedfortheworld.org.
BACONFIELD, USA NEW NEW ORLEANS
Go! Come on, let's go! Go!
We can't go in just yet.
Now.
Roll call.
-Johnson? -Here!
That's everyone.
Boss, we received an anonymous call about a hostage situation
in this burger bun factory.
Our best are on it. It's under control.
Where is McWalter?
Everything's under control.
Watch out!
I'm fine.
-You okay? -Yeah.
Thankfully I wore a helmet.
-Call McWalter. -No.
No, let me call Agent Stevenson.
McWalter, we need you at the corner of 144th and Pizza Street.
No, come on!
Why do you hate him so much?
-I don't! -She's lying!
Our visions of this job are just different.
And you're too soft on him.
Whenever he's in the field, he destroys half the city,
and you don't seem to care.
So he acts more like loose cannon
than a secret agent.
Miranda, in this agency, some people work behind desks, like you,
and some people are like McWalter.
You always provide excellent reports.
Well-presented, well-written.
But thanks to him, Americans live in a free country
where they can overconsume,
destroy the planet and slowly eat themselves to death.
So, yes, I think I can let a few things slide.
He's doing a donut around an actual donut!
Miranda.
Please don't go crazy for once.
If going crazy means saving America…
McWalter, go rescue the hostages.
Put your phones on airplane mode, because the flight to rescue the hostages…
Going.
We don't want to die, we're just buns.
So, you guys like committing crimes?
That's not very nice.
-Here. -Thank you.
-Child's play. -Don't move!
-Hey, how's it going? -Good, you?
Damn it.
Hey, asshole.
Let's do this!
Damn it.
My bad.
So you're all dead now.
What a shame.
They may have wanted to take our buns,
but they didn't expect a knuckle sandwich.
Excellent, McWalter.
-Are the buns safe? -Positive.
They're a happy bun-ch.
I was expecting you.
As of right now, let that person go immediately.
You haven't changed, McWalter.
Do I know you?
Wait, seriously?
-You don't recognize me? -Not in the least.
If I did, I would have given you a hug.
What about her? Do you recognize her?
Tracy.
Honey.
-What are you doing here? -I work here.
Yes.
It's why I attacked this factory.
To lure you here.
I thought you understood.
How long?
Since I was 17.
Is he serious right now?
He has memory issues. It's not his fault.
Okay, what do you want?
To kill you.
-To kill me? -Yes.
Don't worry, Tracy. Everything will be fine.
Okay, thank you. I needed to hear that.
When you're dead, I'll finally be able to complete my plan to destroy…
No!
Tracy!
Tracy, honey, baby.
Do you remember when I was a hostage on the roof of a bun factory
and you said everything was going to be fine?
It was like a minute ago.
-Was I there? -Yes.
Promise me that you'll fix this memory problem, because…
one day, it's going to get you in serious…
serious trouble.
What?
No!
I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT A BIOGRAPHY
MOURNING HIS WIFE: MCWALTER TURNS IN HIS UNIFORM
10 MONTHS LATER
Sweetie.
Are you ready?
-Can I come in? -No!
-Okay, I'm coming in. -No! Stop!
BIRDS
Come on…
What are you doing?
-Wait. -Smells nice.
-Stop. -You're so beautiful, honey.
-Can I stay? -No!
-I'll be right there. -I love you.
You're an idiot. Stop.
Please, stop. Honey.
What are you doing?
Sweetie, please, stop.
Come on, stop.
That's enough now…
We interrupt our programming for a special report.
Breaking news. It has just happened.
The world is in shock.
Another explosion happened last night in Beijing.
The fourth explosion this week.
After Australia, Hungary, and Venezuela.
Cataclysmic detonations
have created enormous craters
that are releasing disturbing green smoke.
Of course, the hundreds of casualties is regrettable,
but what's really concerning for the authorities
is the mystery behind these crimes.
Are they terrorist attacks?
If so, when will someone claim responsibility?
And who?
A lot of questions, few answers, if any.
According to our sources, authorities do have a suspect.
Police! McWalter, come out!
Now!
Please!
Slowly!
Good, walk slowly towards us!
Guys, there were other ways to get me to work.
Sorry about the grass. We parked like shit!
Welcome to the ASS!
Advanced Special Services.
It was through this great door that McWalter,
our national hero, would enter the premises every morning
before his wife's tragic death.
As a safety precaution, please only pretend to take photos.
Sorry, my Spanish is really bad.
Ever since I met McWalter, we've attended
every single Birds home game.
He hadn't missed one in 14 years.
But last night, he wasn't there.
I see.
Wait for me!
Sorry. Excuse me.
-He won't come out. -Very well.
You, in the ASS before noon? Well done.
-It's a record. -One more.
You know, every security agency in the world
is on high alert about these explosions.
I really don't give a shit.
Funny thing is, at every single scene,
we found something interesting.
Your fingerprints.
Australia, your fingerprints.
Southern Hungary, your fingerprints.
Venezuela, your footprints.
Mom Happy you finally got him
Yesterday.
Beijing.
There we actually found a hair with your DNA, nails,
and a small quantity of body fluid yet to be unidentified.
TOTAL COOKING
Today, we're making an herb chicken recipe…
According to our experts, the bombs were activated on site.
Where were you yesterday?
You're playing the faulty memory card?
I don't buy it.
Yesterday, like everyone else,
I was at the Birds game in Baconfield.
But what I think is that since I got out of the ASS,
you've been in trouble.
I think you got it all wrong.
No, I got it right.
We think you're responsible for these attacks.
-The evidence is damning. -Okay, then I got it wrong.
Take him to the interrogation room.
-I'm not going anywhere. -I knew it, McWalter.
Your place isn't with the police.
You're dangerous, conceited, and irresponsible.
But that's all over now.
Everyone will see who you really are.
You're no hero. You don't have the guts.
You have no idea what my guts are like.
Here, deep inside me.
Sooner or later, it's all gonna come out.
And then, it's going to…
It was part of his plan. That's why he wouldn't come out.
No, Sorkin.
Don't do this. Stay with me! Sorkin!
Stay with me!
McWalter!
Yes?
McWalter! Stop!
Come on, open up!
I'm nearly there.
My car!
Shit, the helmet!
Come on.
My bike!
Hey! My eagle!
Thank you, Daniel. That was close.
McWalter, it's been a while.
It has.
You know you can always count on me.
I wouldn't have expected any less.
You're so funny, Mac.
-I owe you one, Daniel. -That's true.
Today, the ASS exploded.
And the numbers are bad, 14 dead, 36 injured,
including Captain Sorkin, who is now in intensive care.
And it is a shock to us all
to hear that the man behind this attack is the ASS's star agent,
McWalter.
There is no longer any doubt,
McWalter is the terrorist responsible for the attacks
around the world this week.
The former media icon is now wanted
by police forces around the world.
It's an immense shock, anger is rising in the streets of Baconfield.
McWalter, what an asshole!
I understand your disappointment.
McWalter, what an asshole!
ELIMINATE PESTS ESPECIALLY MCWALTER
Rest assured that I will do everything to find and arrest the man who is now…
SMOKING KILLS SO DOES MCWALTER
Public enemy number one.
And we're witnessing live the destruction of McWalter Bridge
-by the mayor. -Do it.
Mr. Mayor, couldn't we have just removed the plaque with his name?
Or changed it?
McWalter, what an asshole!
MCWALTER: PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE
McWalter, what an asshole!
DANIEL EAGLE
TRACY - DEAD
DAD - NO NUMBER
MOM - NO NUMBER
SEXY CHICK FOUR - CALLING
You've reached Sexy Chick Four. Please…
Hey! Who's there?
Did you hear that?
-Who's there? -It's me, McWalter.
-McWalter? -I'm behind the trash can.
Shit, why did we record that?
Don't be scared. I'm wearing a gray robe and blue pajama bottoms.
-That's really specific. -McWalter, come out now!
Why don't you come here?
Stop shaking me. I'll sing instead.
I'm behind the trash can
Stop. Stop it!
That hurt, man. Say you're sorry.
-You have big feet. -Hands up!
There's a Black guy on the street.
Damn it! We're on our way!
We'll get our Christmas bonus now!
McWalter? Come with me.
-You don't recognize me? -Not at all.
Pollux. We work together.
Pollux…
It's been, like, ten years.
No.
McWalter, what an asshole!
We'll be safe here.
Where are we?
At my place.
It's really disgusting.
I tracked your phone. Turn it off and remove the chip.
We'll get you out of this.
Well, there's no "we," really.
I'm actually the only one who believes you're innocent.
-Sausage? -No, thanks, I'm Raëlian.
What's going on, Pollux?
This feels like a setup.
If this was a setup, I wouldn't be so obvious.
Everybody thinks I did it. I don't understand.
Do you want my opinion, according to me, that I think?
Your grammar is terrible. Let's pretend I never heard nothing.
I think it's like when you try on lipstick.
When you try one on in a shop,
you try it and you put it back,
but your DNA stays on it.
All the terrorists had to do was take it
and place your DNA at the crime scenes.
It's totally plausible. But I don't remember ever doing that.
Of course, your temporal lobe is damaged in multiple areas,
which prevents you from accessing almost all your memories.
This usually happens after a post-traumatic shock during childhood.
Know what I thinked?
Still not grammatically correct, but sure.
I thinked that someone is pretending to be you.
-Why? -So you take them blame, not them.
Machiavellian. It's the only word for it.
And it's working. You're being blamed, they're not.
Machiavellian. It's the only word for it.
If you want to get your life back, you'll have to go after it.
Find who's responsible, stop them,
and you'll go back to being the hero that everyone admired.
How?
All four bombs used the same thermo-reactive process.
They use Smegma.
Originally designed as an ordinary adhesive,
that it was turned into a explosive shows great scientific knowledge.
Luckily, there's only one factory that manufactures Smegma,
and it's in Countrystan,
a tiny, obscure country in the middle of the ocean.
Go there, get inside the facility.
Collect evidence
to track down who made the explosives and identify the terrorists.
For now, I'm the only one who has this information,
but that won't last long. Use it to your advantage.
I got you a seat on the next flight.
Use your camouflage skills to blend in.
A man named Yuri will pick you up there.
He's my contact. We were in the academy together.
He's like a brother. We banged.
You're now Wesley Davidson, 29,
from Michigan. You have two kids, one of them is bipolar.
-Can I see them? -No.
Why are you helping me?
I can't express how much I admire you as a man
and as a defender of freedom.
But I will say that
when I think about you, I get hard…
I didn't hear what you said.
Hardworking. Your energy inspires me.
It recharges my batteries that are drained by this world in which…
I don't belong.
Go, McWalter. Your destiny awaits.
No, not that door!
He's the one who bought it.
Everything okay?
Trace a mysterious substance
to identify a criminal organization behind a series of attacks
while investigating their motives to prove my innocence?
I was born for this.
Welcome to Countrystan.
The smallest and poorest country in the world.
A small arid land in the middle of a cold and polluted ocean,
its climate is usually tepid and gray.
If you're staying in the capital city, Capitalistan,
take a stroll down Main Street,
enjoy the friendly atmosphere,
and try one of our culinary specialties, the specialistan,
a sumptuous bread sandwich,
and a glass of traditional bread juice.
I'm full.
COUNTRYSTAN: SOME HISTORY
A long time ago, an underwater volcanic rift opened in the center,
weakening the earth's crust
and causing natural disasters around the world.
In order to contain these disturbances,
the planet's rich countries forced Countrystan
to close the rift with a very big plug.
By maintaining and operating this very big plug,
the Countrystanese keep the rest of the world safe
by sacrificing themselves completely.
It is now time to say "See you later," or "See you later-stan,"
with our beautiful national anthem.
This promotional clip is brought to you by Smegma Industries.
Bread juice, Mr. Davidson?
McWalter.
Hello.
Can he hear us?
According to a recent American study, yes.
What about Internet forums?
He has AIDS.
Boss, we're going to find him.
I will avenge your memory, I swear.
He's not dead.
Not yet.
There's a very good chance that he'll wake up.
It's almost certain.
You never know.
Okay, let's go. We need to find that bastard.
As quickly as possible.
Sorry I'm late, I was betraying you.
Nope. I was on the subway. It's completely different.
Lock down the city, close everything,
borders, airports, train stations, everything.
Call our agents abroad. He must have left a trace somewhere.
He's the least secret secret agent.
-What about facial recognition? -Here!
I've got him.
The image isn't clear, but I think it's him.
That's a flan.
I don't know, I'd still like to go check.
Ma'am, I've got him.
At the airport,
some guy disguised as a Mexican with a terrible accent.
Very approximate, borderline racist, it's him.
And he got on a flight for Countrystan.
Countrystan.
Let's go.
So it's a no on the flan?
Let's go.
Let's do this.
COUNTRYSTAN
The plane from Boston just exploded in the air. That's a shame.
Low-cost companies aren't great.
Hello, are you Yuri?
I AM YURI
Yes.
Nice to meet you.
-Welcome to Countrystan. -Thanks.
I do it.
-You drive? -Really?
-Yes, me drunk. -Okay.
Take my hat. Careful, it's pretty big.
Nice car.
Is it a hybrid?
I love this brand. Okay, let's go.
Did you take a dump in your car?
-Yes, me dump. -That's what I thought.
I guess Pollux has told you everything.
Yes. Because I'm Yuri.
-And? -And what, asshole?
Any instructions or information for me?
Drive, you'll see.
LICENSE
SURNAME: RI FIRST NAME: YURI
DAY OF BIRTH: MONDAY PLACE: MAIN STREET
How well do you know Pollux?
Thierry, get out of the frame!
No.
Thank you.
Interesting friends, Pollux.
The letter "D."
Yuri?
Hey, McWalter, what's up?
I'm good, you?
I'm not great.
I have to go the Smegma factory.
-Got any information for me? -Yes.
This factory is very…
big.
That's it?
This factory is also very…
-pretty. -Okay, see ya.
Wait, McWalter.
Look what I got.
It's a super confidential document about the factory.
You'll find all the information you need.
I'm shitting blood!
This is worthless. Have a nice day.
Don't be like that. Wait! McWalter…
Don't let me die alone.
You're not going to die.
Okay, you're going to die.
Pollux gave me a list
of weapons and gear for your mission.
-It's in a bag… -Great.
Can you just stop interrupting me? I'm going to die!
Yuri, please.
I can't stand toxic behavior.
Go on, Yuri.
-Scotch tape. -Yes.
And a banana.
-What about weapons? -Didn't have time.
The list was too long.
I focused on the essentials.
-What's this? -It's a tradition here.
When all hope is lost,
we eat this cookie.
And inside, there's a note
that will give you valuable advice.
I'll make good use of it.
And if you see Pollux,
tell him that…
he was the best friend I ever had,
and that I think about him all the time. We banged.
-He told me. -He told you? Good luck.
McWal…
Ter.
Rest in peace, Yuri.
SHERIFF'S BACKPACK
Welcome, nice to meet you.
We have a lot of respect for the ASS.
-Any sign of McWalter? -Maybe.
We think your guy came through here.
Maybe we could drive next time.
No, Countrystanese police don't have vehicles.
There's very little crime here,
so we don't get any money. We're all volunteers.
But you found a lead very quickly.
We got lucky.
My son just moved in on this pile of sand.
-I'm 41! -Gorbatshov Propaniev.
The worst scumbag in the world.
5'9", 240 pounds, 36 years old, spent 12 years in prison.
From age 0 to 12. Born there.
Graduated high school, barely.
No kids, a house in Vermont in the US,
and a seafood restaurant in Wyoming.
It closed last year.
Nine employees lost their job overnight,
including her, Kareen Van Houten.
Who might she be, you ask?
Avril Lavigne's cousin.
-Did you know him? -No.
It's just, two bodies in a row, it's sad.
It's a lot of bodies at once.
He was stabbed. We have nothing on him.
How did you tie him to McWalter?
Easy.
GO TO AIRPORT PICK UP MCWALTER
We didn't have to do much.
Honestly, we've been getting lucky over and over again.
Okay, I want all surveillance cameras
at the crossroad, to see where he went.
What the hell is this factory?
A mime?
It's my lucky day.
Sir?
Put that baseball bat down!
I don't want to hurt you.
I just have a few questions.
Give me the bat.
I need to know what happened here.
I know that the factory should be running at full speed,
but this place looks like it's only good for storing hobo piss.
I see.
Would this refresh your memory?
Okay, slow down.
This place used to be full of joy and happiness.
But on a gloomy October day, a man came
with several bodyguards
who all had the letter "D" tattooed on their arm.
Like the fake Yuri.
He bought the company, overexploited the deposit,
and treated the workers like slaves.
Then, the factory closed down,
and you stayed here, frozen like a piece of shit.
Why shut down the factory if it was so productive?
You better not be wasting my time.
McWalter…
You'd tell me if it was a trap?
I said it before, but I really hope you're not wasting my time.
The business register.
No sale of Smegma recorded.
So he used the stock to make those bombs.
I need to find this "D."
What does he look like? Tell me.
On the day of the takeover,
he arrived in a gold-plated limousine,
surrounded by his minions.
Stop! Zoom in a bit.
More. More.
I can't see his face.
That's all we've got? Damn it!
Wait. His minions, show me the scene again.
Not him. Not him.
Not him.
Him, what's he throwing in the air?
A casino chip.
Okay. Find all the gambling clubs in town.
Which ones allow non-white people?
Blackjack.
That's where I'm going.
Thank you, mime.
Wait, where is the footage?
Yes, one minute.
-Did you see anything? -What?
Did you see a guy going that way?
I've been looking that way all morning!
Sorry, the footage is unusable.
Damn it. We're heading back to the States.
Thank you, great meeting you. We had a lovely time.
-We're not leaving. -I suggest
we comb the south part of the city with a net.
Another team will leave some crumbs on the north side in strategic locations.
If it works with fish, it should work with criminals.
Okay, go!
Do you want a drink?
-I'll have a Sex on the Beach. -We have water.
Fine.
-With ice? -Yes, please.
-We don't have any. -Excellent.
Excuse me. Are there a lot of people
who get tattoos on their arms here?
I guess so.
Small tattoos, like letters…
from the alphabet.
Like an "A"? Or a "D"?
Or a "D"?
Or a "D," for example?
No idea. But I know that our clients like discretion.
Wait, what kind of gaming circle is this?
A boardgame circle.
Rock, paper, scissors.
-One. -Two.
No.
Ladies and gentlemen, the private game is about to start.
This is a private table, sir.
So,
what game are we playing?
-Truth or dare. -Great, that's my favorite game.
I'm daring and I love the truth.
Let's start the game.
-Truth or dare? -Dare.
Repeat "Six stick shifts stuck shut" without being rude.
Six stick shifts stuck shut…
-Six stick shifts stuck cunt… -Out.
-Truth or dare? -Truth.
If one wanted to get into illegal business,
who should one talk to around here?
You are very nosy.
I'm a Capricorn.
Have you ever had a boner in class?
In here, we shut up and we play.
Or we get out.
Truth or dare?
Truth.
Have you ever jizzed?
Yes.
At camp, in Nevada.
By the way, have you heard from Da… Dom… Dam…?
You know, the guy we all know
who likes factories making some rather special stuffs.
-It's "stuff," not "stuffs." -I hear you.
Dare.
Show us your boobies.
-Too bad. -It's the final, gentlemen.
I'll choose for you.
All in.
So it's a dare.
Kiss your weenie.
I fold.
Well done.
-Congratulations. -Thanks.
Boss, McWalter has found the hideout.
-Should we do something? -No.
Let him come to us.
I've killed so many men this week.
Good for you, you're so lucky.
I haven't killed anyone, I was with my family.
And I love to kill.
Guys, I'm planning a manhunt this week. Who's in?
Me! I'm in!
What about you? Interested?
Well…
Let's fight this week.
Patrice.
Excuse me.
Guys, I have a bad back. I'm corrupted to the bone.
Hey, guys, who wants to launder money?
Delivery's coming up. We need to get ready.
Being a minion is such a cool job.
I know.
So this is Smegma.
After the terrible shockwaves caused by McWalter's bombs,
who is still on the run, scientists are raising the alarm.
Powerful earthquakes and dangerous electromagnetic shifts
are happening all around the world.
These anomalies are creating disturbing movements
of the tectonic plates. More to follow.
Everyone is asking the same question now.
Does the man behind all this
just want to terrorize the world
or does he want to destroy civilization?
Spring is coming and the cherries are back…
Okay. Got it.
-We got something. -I'll call you back.
We got lucky big time.
My daughter-in-law just sold some glue to coastguards. We've found him.
We are the world champions of getting lucky!
We just keep on getting lucky!
Don't move.
Do I know you?
I'm McWalter. Everybody knows me.
What is this?
-An electric gun. -What?
You need to charge it. There's only one bullet.
I'm trying to be eco-friendly.
How do I recharge it?
You pull the trigger, you go get it,
-and you recharge. -Seems complicated.
It is.
But every action counts
to save the planet.
I don't get it.
McWalter, stop the boat!
Get out of the vehicle, hands on the hull!
No!
Come on!
Asshole!
Move, out of the way!
Hands up!
Hands up. We're too slow.
It's a matter of life and death.
A captain never abandons his ship.
I've been through hell and high water and I've never left this cabin.
You know, I've sailed all the oceans,
all the seas, all the rivers.
Lakes, streams,
waterfalls, creeks,
puddles, pools, swimming pools,
-big pools, small ones… -Okay.
Sorry!
Shit!
I need more power.
Let's put the pedal to the metal.
She's getting closer.
Jerk face.
It's too risky. We need to stop and turn around.
-No! -I'm going to puke.
We keep going!
Shit!
Come on!
I'm going to puke!
Stop doing that!
They're right behind us.
I need more power.
It's broken.
Damn it!
We're going to get him.
Full speed! Come on!
Pollux gave me a list of weapons and gear.
It's in the bag.
Yes!
I didn't know pigs liked bananas.
I thought they only liked donuts.
Yes. Of course.
I can't hear you, the signal's bad.
Sure, let's do that, okay. Have a nice day.
-Have a nice day. -What?
Sorkin is awake.
He's expecting you in his hospital room-office.
-Really? -Yeah.
You have arrived at your destination.
BERMUDOS ISLANDS
Bro.
I missed you.
With your stupid face.
What the hell, guys? Drop your guns, come on!
-I was aiming at the wasp. -Me too.
-Same. -Yep.
-I was doing the same thing. -Okay!
Once, a buddy got stung on the tongue.
-Me too. -Same! Yep!
He's right. It can be really dangerous.
A decaf!
-Two cups. -Two!
Okay, on its way. Two cups of coffee!
I'm so happy to see you, bro.
You first.
What are you doing?
It's sugar, cookie, coffee, then you drink.
You were gonna do cookie, sugar instead of sugar, cookie.
The only guy I've ever seen doing that was an American undercover agent
who was investigating our criminal activities.
Are you an undercover agent investigating our criminal activities?
-No! -Good.
Let's do this.
Our favorite drink, bro.
Look, Drogan's here.
He's gonna be happy to see you.
Drogan, with a "D"?
With a "D," bro.
Wait, shut up, I'm looking at the boats.
Caution, bomb!
What about her? Do you recognize her?
Tracy!
He's alive.
What's up?
Hi!
-Hello, handsome. -No.
What's up, man?
Hey, what's up?
Why is he ignoring me? What did I do?
Don't take it personally. You don't know what people are going through.
You're too sensitive, Richard.
Baconfield?
COUNTRYSTAN
WORLDISTAN
Worldistan!
That's me.
What the hell am I doing?
Bro.
The helping hand that has been missing for centuries.
When did that happen?
Bomb!
The bombs, was it me?
Your temporal lobe is damaged in multiple areas,
which prevents you from accessing your memories.
-I did it? -Bomb.
You're responsible for these attacks. The evidence is damning.
I can't believe it.
I told you that your memory would get you in trouble.
You know what you have to do.
Finally, it's about time.
-Boss, are you okay? -Yes, feeling better.
Sorry for McWalter, we were this close to catching him when…
-You called. -McWalter is innocent.
We've got a ton of evidence, what else do you need?
-Come on. -A story.
McWalter's story is not about terrorism.
It's of a kid abandoned by his parents.
An orphan who's been through so much trauma
that he dedicated his life to protecting others.
He would never hurt anyone.
Honestly, you're in denial. Prove to me that he's innocent.
Or I'll keep thinking he's guilty.
Prove me wrong
and I will believe you.
All I have is my instinct.
And it's never been wrong about McWalter.
And if I may,
you should follow your instinct every once in a while.
Okay, we have a man to catch.
Why are you never on my side?
Nothing I do is ever enough for you.
You don't need to catch McWalter to find your place, Miranda.
The earthquakes are increasing. The continents are starting to break.
One more explosion and everything will collapse.
The predictions are terrifying. It will be the end of the world.
BREAKING NEWS CONTINENTS: THE SITUATION IS CRITICAL
Boss, sorry, but it really looks like you're in pain.
I said I'm fine.
-You're bleeding. -Whatever.
Don't wait up!
I'll be there when I'm there.
Careful, the light is red.
I'll be fine--
Boss, are you okay?
-Miranda. -Yes?
Come help me.
Miranda…
Boss!
Boss…
Miranda, find him.
Give him a chance to explain himself.
You're stronger together.
McWalter has many flaws,
but he's not a liar.
He never would've missed that game.
Boss, stay with me.
A Birds fan would never hurt a fly.
So if I don't get a VIP seat…
Mr. Mayor, the coffin is going there.
My dear brothers,
my dear sisters,
we're all gathered today to pay a final tribute
to the man who was a loving father,
a caring husband,
an exceptional coworker,
an executive with a great portfolio.
His death leaves a great hole in our hearts.
Let's be united, my friends.
United against the only person
responsible for this very sad day.
That big fat murderer, Miranda Velasquez.
-Big fat murderer! -Come on.
-Killer! -Big, fat killer.
The light was red.
Thank you.
We Birds fly high,
always higher.
Our enemies are coo-coo-coo-cooked.
I surrender.
I'm guilty.
I planted all those bombs. I'm terrorizing the world.
My faulty memory has hidden the truth from me for too long,
but now, I have no choice.
I should be in prison.
With Mexicans.
-I'll take care of it. -Thanks.
Tighten the cuffs, please.
I really don't trust myself.
McWalter has been arrested.
After a manhunt across the globe,
he turned himself in at Valéry Sorkin's funeral today.
The world is now saved.
No more criminals, no more bombs.
The specialists and seismologists will now
have to find a solution to resolidify the continents
and put this terrible situation behind us.
Pollux Gershwin, the new director of the ASS,
invited us along to his appointment.
To the ASS!
All done here? Can I clear?
Yes.
Take this too. I won't need it.
He was the man the whole world admired.
McWalter, the biggest US secret agent.
A hero who became an outcast.
A glorious rise followed by a devastating fall.
A story that shocked America.
A broken man wandering naked in the streets of Baconfield.
Stop him! He's gonna drown!
He would turn to terrorism.
What happened to turn this national hero into a fallen criminal?
Pause it.
You're lucky I have that feature.
You shouldn't be here, Miranda.
What are you doing here?
We still don't have a new office,
and the Wi-Fi is pretty good. Thank you.
It's pretty quiet until 4:00 p.m.
Don't you think that the ASS deserves better?
What do you want?
-We have to release McWalter. -Yeah, right.
On September 12th, the Baconfield Birds were playing a home game
against the Minneapolis Insects.
I know. They pecked at them.
McWalter has never missed a game. Since he was a teenager.
That night, he was at the game. Look.
See, he's fighting the other team's mascot.
On September 12th, at 8:08 p.m., a bomb exploded in Beijing.
On September 12th, at 8:08 p.m.,
McWalter was urinating on the Insects' mascot.
He got kicked out and missed the game.
Look, I've got the footage. He pees and gets kicked out.
Of course he gets kicked out.
He didn't plant that bomb.
Is that it? What about the other bombs?
Do we pretend like they never existed?
I'm sure we'll find evidence to prove he's innocent.
Right now, we have to release McWalter.
If another bomb explodes,
the consequences will be irreversible.
We need him.
He's the best, you know it.
He was the best.
You're quick to change sides.
You know, I would have given everything to McWalter.
But now that he's different from what I was projecting about me onto him,
my love has turned into a profound hate and I wish him the worst.
The world is in danger.
The real person responsible is still at large.
Do you want to make that public
and cause widespread panic without checking the evidence first?
-So you're not gonna do anything? -I have work to do.
You need your strength. We need you.
I came to get you out of here.
McWalter, are you okay?
Bomb.
Bomb!
It's all I think about.
All day long.
-Know what my favorite word is? -No.
-Bomb. -Okay.
-What am I thinking about? -Leaving?
-The word "Bomb." -Okay.
-My favorite movie? -I don't know. Tick, tick… Boom?
-No. James Bomb. -We have to hurry.
-My favorite city? -I get it, Bombay.
I'm a bombophobe.
No, you're a bombophile.
-Bombophile. -If you like bombs…
-I love bombs. -Let's go.
No, I'm not going anywhere.
Because I'm the bomber.
No, you're not. You're innocent. I have proof.
You're not the bomber!
You don't remember, but trust me.
I misjudged you.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Stop doing that with your tongue.
-Okay, let's go. -I'm not going anywhere.
Get a grip, come on.
Let me make bombs!
Okay, I'm not the bomber.
Can you run?
Yes.
I'm gonna park the car.
Well done.
I got a little cocky, I know.
We need to find clues before Pollux gets here.
I don't get it.
It was me in the photos, with the bombs.
What else did you see in Countrystan?
I know you have a faulty memory,
but any detail could help.
I saw Drogan.
The guy who died killing your wife?
Because he really did die killing your wife.
-Bastard! -Biker!
McWalter has escaped. Miranda Velasquez helped him.
Everyone, put your shoes back on, let's go!
Think about the planet, damn it.
Hello?
Damn it.
Okay.
Bastard!
You do it, my hands hurt.
Stop!
Shit!
It's better if you… Thanks.
What's that?
McWalter, no!
Velasquez, hands up!
You're under arrest.
Now, let's go back to where it all started for our favorite agent.
On your left, Baconfield's International Orphanage,
where McWalter lived when he was younger.
McWalter.
That will be your name, my baby.
-Hi. -Hi.
What's your name?
Drogan.
Hey, baldy, we're gonna get you!
You bald bastard! Bald bastard!
Ass-head! Ass-head!
Where is he? Find him!
No, let me go!
-Stupid ass-face! -Let me go!
Stop, please!
Nobody's gonna protect you.
Please!
I didn't do anything!
-Let him go! -Stop!
-I'm gonna kill you! -Let him go!
Get out of here!
Don't worry, I'll always be there to protect you.
If we ever leave this place, we'll do it together.
I like this one.
We'll take him.
My name is Drogan. I'm from Countrystan.
-And I have a project. -To have hair?
A project, an ideal.
To free my country from Western enslavement
and make it the center of the world.
A new world!
Free from all inequality.
But I need a hand.
The helping hand that's been missing for centuries.
Wipe your ass-head with it!
And with this hand,
I'm going to change the world.
It will be a perfect world!
And I will call it Worldistan!
Or Assholistan!
Get lost, ass-head!
Get out of here.
-Go wash your hair. -I like him.
He looks like Kirikou.
Okay, Tracy. We'll take him, but you have to take care of him.
-Tracy… -Move.
Oh, my God, did I marry my sister?
McWalter!
You promised you wouldn't leave me.
-You promised! -Here, Drogan.
Take my hat, so no one will make fun of you.
-Come on. -McWalter!
-I'll never forget you. -McWalter!
-Drogan! -McWalter!
I can't believe it, despite all the chaos,
all the debris seems to converge at this location.
You're right, there is something there.
It's Countrystan.
That's where Drogan is from. He's behind all the attacks.
Yes, he is alive and his plan is clear.
He wants to destroy the world. So you can arrest me,
but if you want to save the world, you shouldn't.
Don't arrest him. Let McWalter talk.
Really? I barely had to convince you.
When you were at your lowest, I enjoyed dragging you down,
but now you're a hero again, and I want to admire you again
and forget myself and put myself in psychological danger.
Great. Drogan has been planning this since he was a kid.
And it's not over.
There's still his big finale.
He's going to reactivate a devastating volcanic rift
that has been contained for centuries.
How do you know that?
We were at the orphanage together.
He told me about his project, I remembered it.
You remembered?
Yes. My memory is back to normal.
I can name every single person here.
Laquisha, Jacqueline,
Dickwill, Chansey,
Dwayne, Johnson, Mario, Luigi,
Pipo, Kennedy,
Bobango, and David.
That was all wrong, McWalter.
Okay, but I remembered what matters.
So, please, forget about your egos for a minute.
Okay, let's go.
I won't go anywhere without Miranda Velasquez.
-Release her immediately. -Velasquez.
Happy to see you, McWalter.
-Tell me about it. -I just did.
You did?
Okay, let's go to Countrys…
Okay, that was fast.
COUNTRYSTAN
Not for me, Miranda.
Someone has to protect the planet around here.
DROGAN'S VILLA
Bro.
Why are you hiding with this woman?
We were banging.
THEY WERE BANGING
Okay.
What are these crappy outfits?
You can't go to the party dressed like that.
You look like two pieces of crap.
Crappy butts.
Butts that crap.
Crap, butts.
Evening.
Evening, how are you?
-Morning. -It's evening, actually.
Evening.
Evening. Evening.
-Pollux, do you hear me? -Yeah.
-I'm here. -Try to blend in.
The security guards are on the lookout.
Don't worry, I'm hiding by the entrance. No one can see me.
Just like a thermal camera, I'm undetectable.
McWalter is not the only master of disguise.
Do you have a cigarette?
Of course.
Shit.
Good evening, my dear friends.
Welcome.
We're here tonight
to celebrate the new world.
But first, I would like
to thank you for your donations.
All your donations have already been used
to plant the bombs
that have exploded around the world
and reduced it to rubble.
And tonight, we're going to gather the ruins of this world
in our dear nation, Countrystan,
to create
Worldistan.
And my country will finally have access to all the resources
that were taken from it.
From the Statue of Liberty to the Great Wall of China,
and the megastore in Grenoble,
everything will now
belong to Worldistan.
Wait a minute, I'm confused.
I didn't sign up for this. Wasn't it "All united for the world"?
Not exactly.
ALL UNITED FOR WORLDISTAN
I thought it was a typo.
Me too, but we didn't dare say anything.
Now, let's wake up an old friend.
This is a remote control.
And this…
This is a Drogo-strap.
A Drogo-strap?
Drogan-strap.
-The strap… -Wouldn't want to lose it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
just like this volcanic rift that nature has so generously offered us
and which has been asleep for so many years,
tonight, Countrystan will wake up.
My yacht!
Don't be afraid.
You're safe here.
Take it easy. Relax.
Breathe, and enjoy the show.
Everybody, raise your hands
-Reggae -Welcome to the new world
-Rasta -Thank you, Drogan, for Worldistan
Thank you, Drogan, for Worldistan
McWalter, we have to do something.
-Okay, after the chorus. -No, McWalter.
I'll get the remote control. We need to close that rift.
-You handle Drogan. -Okay.
-Pollux, you're with me. -Okay.
I'll be there in five seconds.
No, I'll see you there.
Drogan.
How are you alive? I killed you.
Science.
That's all I can say, it's all…
Science. Some things are beyond us.
Astonishing.
After you…
abandoned me,
I was all alone.
Everybody continued to make fun of me because I had nothing.
And one day, I fell in love too.
With science.
With life.
With the Earth.
With biology, then.
Yes, biology.
It's better than being in love with your sister.
She was my wife before she was my sister.
Just the opposite.
I think you know each other.
The bastard.
Let me introduce you.
McWalter, this is…
WacMalter.
No… I like that. WacMalter?
I like that. I called him "McWalter's clone."
Wasn't it a brilliant idea to create a copy of the best agent in the world?
McWalter is immortal, McWalter is unstoppable.
Nobody can stop McWalter.
Except himself.
How did you clone me?
-It was that simple? -Science.
Just science, really.
-That's all. -Why?
We were like brothers.
You promised we'd leave the orphanage together.
-You betrayed me. -Yes.
But why did you blow up the ASS?
Maybe just to hear you say that out loud.
-You won't get out of here alive. -Do I look worried?
Bastard.
Unbelievable.
Just unbelievable.
I'm outside. I have the remote.
Drop the remote.
Or I'll shoot you with my gun.
One…
This can't be. You're blocking everything I do.
I'm you, but better.
I know all your moves.
Even this one?
Two…
You're counting very slowly.
-Three. -Let's go!
Bro?
Let her go, Drogan.
Come on.
Well, McWalter? Too scared to shoot?
Is this bringing back some memories?
Come on, McWalter, you can do it.
You're the best agent in the world.
I'm sorry, Drogan.
I'm sorry I abandoned you. You were like a brother to me.
I will probably never recover from my wife's death,
but I understand that your revenge came from your suffering.
So, there it is.
I'm sorry.
If only you had said that sooner.
What?
I would never have…
I wouldn't have committed all these crimes.
I wouldn't have terrorized the world.
I would have started over
and accepted myself in people's eyes.
I feel like I've lost so many years.
It's crazy that a single word can change your life.
Really?
But your stupid big bald head isn't going to change.
You're still bald, even with the hair, you bald piece of shit.
I'm gonna have to point this gun at you again, Miranda.
-McWalter? -Stupid baldy.
I'm not bald.
-Yes, you are. -Wait, so I have two brothers?
Not exactly.
This man is my clone. Drogan created him.
It's my clone who planted the bombs.
And now, we work together.
-Okay. -Why didn't you swap places?
You apologize and he uses the remote.
I never apologize, and that's not going to change now.
-You stupid baldy. -I'm not bald!
What about all the innocent people you're going to kill?
They didn't do anything.
Because they're innocent.
What happened to young Drogan?
That sweet, kind, bald little boy.
You turned him into a monster.
Worldistan must live, and you know it.
-No one can change my mind. -Police, no one move!
No use shooting, it's armored…
Oh, no, it's not. It's going right through.
It's just a prototype.
Hey, Drogan.
You have a strand out of place.
No!
Are you proud of me, Sorkin?
I didn't see. What happened?
I followed my instinct.
I didn't see that, sorry.
Wac, stay with me. Stay with me.
Wac! Wac!
Wac, stay with me!
Stay with me, stay.
You're the best clone I ever had.
We saved the world, Wac.
TWO ARE STRONGER THAN ONE
Miranda, Pollux. What a surprise.
-A good surprise? -You tell me.
McWalter, we need you.
I was banished from the ASS, right?
Yes.
But not from the CUNT.
CUNT.
Country Unit for National Threats.
I'm proud to be the director of this new agency
that fights all kinds of crimes.
Congratulations, Miranda.
-You've been busy. -Yes.
Crime never takes a break.
Then crime has never been to the Bahamas.
-Or Biarritz. -Yeah.
Thank you, Miranda,
but that's all behind me now.
I told you it was my last mission.
By the way, this is my last mission.
I don't remember that.
I don't either.
It must have been cut.
Then I'd love to.
But on one condition.
Follow me.
Watch your step.
-Okay. -You're welcome.
I'm not going anywhere without them.
McWalter.