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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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报告老师！怪怪怪怪物！
Mon Mon Mon Monsters

4
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还钱啦

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功课好就可以偷钱哦

6
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手很长

7
00:05:11,208 --> 00:05:12,875
- 成绩好就了不起
- 还钱啦！

8
00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:15,291
犯贱欸！

9
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不要丢到老师‭‬

10
00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,916
不要丢到老师‭‬

11
00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:23,208
不要丢到老师‭‬

12
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老师‭　‬不要让林书伟退学啦

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人都会犯错嘛

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重要的是要悔过

15
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:32,708
我们来听林书伟唱歌吧

16
00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:41,208
不用看我啊

17
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,375
钱呢

18
00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:50,208
老师我真的没有偷啊

19
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:51,333
你没有偷钱

20
00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:53,958
那班费袋怎么会在你书包里面啊

21
00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:57,375
我不知道啊　我真的没有偷啊

22
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,083
老师‭　‬我知道

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00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:01,375
钱一定藏在

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00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:02,375
鞋子里

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对‭　‬鞋子里‭　‬

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00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:06,083
脱掉

27
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脱鞋

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这是你唯一可以替自己澄清的机会

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快点脱鞋‭　‬快脱

30
00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,125
我知道了‭‬

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00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:38,458
钱一定塞在屁眼里

32
00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:46,750
脱裤

33
00:07:00,666 --> 00:07:02,833
林书伟真的很扯‭　‬假资优生

34
00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:04,458
我坐他旁边好恶哦

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00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:07,500
- 好强哦‭　‬好会偷钱哦
- 啊不是好棒棒

36
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,125
林书伟也在这个群组里吧

37
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嗨‭　‬小偷

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屁眼神偷

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踢他

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00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:12,666
踢他

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00:07:12,875 --> 00:07:16,250
踢他

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我知道钱不是你偷的

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00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000
大家

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00:07:24,416 --> 00:07:26,000
只是

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在闹你

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闭嘴啦

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00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:31,375
谁要你管啊

48
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:33,500
我只是

49
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不希望你变得像我一样

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滚开啦‭‬‬

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00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:43,708
谁会跟你一样‭　‬

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滚开啦‭‬

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00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,041
滚开

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老大

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00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:01,916
偷钱的

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00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,625
跟踪我们干嘛

57
00:09:04,958 --> 00:09:06,708
你们也太夸张了吧

58
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,291
学校知道了

59
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:12,125
一定会把你们通通都退学

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00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,541
游泳池都废掉几十年了

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00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:17,000
我们这叫废物利用

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00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,416
你们偷班费干嘛

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到底哪一只眼睛看到我们干班费

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我就是知道

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你就是知道

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你会通灵是不是‭‬‬

67
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是不是啊

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00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,791
你们偷班费就偷班费

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干嘛栽赃我

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谁乱栽赃你啊

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00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:53,375
这样有没有诬赖你

72
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:55,375
干‭　‬林书伟你很色

73
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妈的‭　‬偷钱还乱摸奶啊

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我没有

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加油

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00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,625
不要死林书伟

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你知道为什么要偷班费吗

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不然我怎么有钱改车

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怎么有钱帮我的车加油

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00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:11,958
你都只想到你自己

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00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,708
而且如果不是偷钱的话

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我们就不能整你

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不整你　你就不能摸我女朋友奶了

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00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:19,833
这样很可惜耶

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00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,750
林书伟

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00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:26,958
我跟你讲

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大家都说这里有鬼谁都不会来

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00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:32,083
但是我在这里抽了两年的烟

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00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:33,583
就没有看过半个鬼

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我等一下把你活埋在这里好不好

91
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:37,375
你有办法的话

92
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就变成鬼来找我

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00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:40,333
拜托你要加油哦

94
00:10:40,458 --> 00:10:42,083
你一定要加油变成鬼来找我哦

95
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,500
我他妈超想看鬼的

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00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:44,541
干‭　‬超想看的

97
00:10:44,666 --> 00:10:45,791
拜托你一定要变成鬼哦

98
00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:47,166
拜托你一定要变成鬼

99
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（不然你厉害一点‭‬）

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00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,333
（死掉之后变成神奇宝贝）

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00:10:50,458 --> 00:10:52,375
（我再用手机去抓你一次）

102
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,375
（看你的CP值有多高）

103
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,000
我是不知道你们之前有什么过节

104
00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:58,333
但是无风不起浪啊

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00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,000
你现在在他们背后这样打小报告

106
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:02,291
如果被同学知道的话

107
00:11:02,416 --> 00:11:04,750
他们一定更不开心

108
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那你有没有想过

109
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,791
这就是因果循环的开始啊

110
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:17,000
可是我又没有做错什么

111
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:24,375
林书伟　校园生活除了念书之外

112
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还有人际关系啊

113
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,375
我知道这不容易

114
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可是你有没有想过

115
00:11:32,166 --> 00:11:34,291
为什么是你不是别人

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可是他们差点把我眼睛戳瞎

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00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:43,458
还看‭‬

118
00:11:43,791 --> 00:11:45,125
‬看看自己的考卷

119
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看什么看

120
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:48,958
多看书吧

121
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,291
你说你没有偷钱

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00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:15,375
那你有证据可以证明是他们偷钱吗

123
00:12:16,583 --> 00:12:19,833
这是一个没有画面的录音档

124
00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:23,791
说不定是你先动手打他们

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00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:26,958
也说不定是你的表情挑衅

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所以我觉得我应该给他们一个解释的机会

127
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,250
还是你要好好把握这个机会

128
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改善跟他们的关系

129
00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,750
考这种成绩，你有脸吗！

130
00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:45,250
整天看那有的没有的

131
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,916
这种答案你也敢写啊

132
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:49,125
（最喜欢了！）

133
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,208
各位同学

134
00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:54,291
上一次林书伟偷班费的事件之后

135
00:12:54,416 --> 00:12:56,458
他一直有在反省

136
00:12:56,583 --> 00:13:00,250
所以老师想要给他一个改过自新的机会

137
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:03,208
不知道有没有人想要陪他一起完成

138
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,208
关怀社区的作业啊

139
00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:08,041
谁要陪他啊！好恶哦

140
00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:10,833
叫他自己去啦，老人喜欢他啊！

141
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,208
段人豪

142
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,708
有

143
00:13:14,041 --> 00:13:15,666
廖国峰

144
00:13:16,541 --> 00:13:17,833
叶伟竹

145
00:13:17,958 --> 00:13:20,250
你们是班上的风云人物

146
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:22,208
你们跟他一起完成这个作业

147
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,833
老师觉得非常的有意义

148
00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:25,958
靠‭　‬老师‭　‬

149
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:28,750
我那么有爱心也被你发现

150
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:31,875
- 蛤？有我
- 啊不就好棒棒

151
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,250
回去坐好啦‭‬

152
00:13:36,291 --> 00:13:40,041
- 矮额！林书伟好恶心哦
- 衰小啦！

153
00:13:42,791 --> 00:13:46,125
- 老师你没开玩笑吧
- 关怀自己吧

154
00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,166
屁股没长眼睛哦

155
00:14:03,291 --> 00:14:04,750
跟我来啊

156
00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:06,000
快一点

157
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:07,583
摸奶侠

158
00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:09,833
快一点

159
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:15,291
摸奶侠

160
00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:17,791
骑快一点

161
00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:21,750
摸奶侠快一点

162
00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:24,500
以后请多多指教哦

163
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:40,458
会不会喂

164
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,500
- 干嘛啊‭
- ‬我来啦

165
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:47,541
吃不到

166
00:14:49,583 --> 00:14:51,958
我们这样欺负老人会不会有报应啊

167
00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:54,000
我们以后也会变老

168
00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:57,916
早一点死就不会变老啦

169
00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:41,416
‬（我爱罗）

170
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:44,916
受死吧

171
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,625
杀！

172
00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:58,833
- 来咩！来呀！
- 攻击！

173
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:25,625
交作业哦‭‬

174
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,000
李荣峰‭‬

175
00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:38,375
‬吃饭了

176
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,083
李荣峰

177
00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:43,083
‬吃饭了

178
00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:45,166
李荣峰‭‬

179
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,291
李荣峰‭‬

180
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:54,125
干‭　‬怎么那么臭

181
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,166
李荣峰‭‬

182
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,125
我们赶快扫一扫啊

183
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,750
这里很臭又很脏

184
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,041
扫一扫要玩再玩嘛

185
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,291
很融入嘛

186
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,000
老大‭‬

187
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,583
换手

188
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:38,583
国民革命军　第29军

189
00:17:38,708 --> 00:17:39,791
大刀队

190
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,541
大刀队‭‬

191
00:17:41,666 --> 00:17:42,791
好屌

192
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:47,958
来看我的御天逆刃流

193
00:17:51,916 --> 00:17:53,708
谢谢你刀大

194
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,375
杀过人又怎样

195
00:17:56,916 --> 00:17:59,541
老了还不是浪费空气　对不对

196
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,666
那是什么

197
00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:13,916
老大来看一下

198
00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:27,083
听说老芋仔从大陆来台湾

199
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:28,666
都带很多金条

200
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:30,958
不要这样啦

201
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:36,500
老芋仔　钥匙咧

202
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:37,791
钥匙咧

203
00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:40,125
钥匙咧

204
00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:44,291
钥匙咧　老芋仔

205
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:45,833
钥匙咧

206
00:18:46,666 --> 00:18:49,458
钥匙咧

207
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,916
拿来

208
00:18:59,625 --> 00:19:02,000
我觉得那个保险箱一定有金条

209
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:03,875
把它干走

210
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,875
可是它链子很粗

211
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,125
我家有油压剪

212
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:10,541
油压剪只能剪你老二啦

213
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:15,791
你家有没有焊枪

214
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:17,708
我要回去看一下

215
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,750
那我们约一点半

216
00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:23,875
两点好了‭　‬这里集合‭‬

217
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:24,875
东西带着哦

218
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:25,708
好

219
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,500
要干嘛啊

220
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,041
叫你集合怎么废话这么多

221
00:19:30,166 --> 00:19:31,208
废话很多

222
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:32,708
说出去就死定了

223
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:35,916
两点哦

224
00:19:54,416 --> 00:19:55,583
什么声音啊

225
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:56,750
狗叫

226
00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:57,583
你确定

227
00:19:57,708 --> 00:19:59,083
对‭　‬安静啦

228
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,291
老大‭‬

229
00:20:01,791 --> 00:20:03,208
我好想放屁哦

230
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,041
安静一点啦

231
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,083
廖国峰‭

232
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:08,958
我叫你带油压剪

233
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,708
你带铲子干嘛啦‭　‬

234
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:12,375
你要扫墓

235
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:13,916
说不定有用啊

236
00:20:15,541 --> 00:20:16,666
林书伟‭‬

237
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,791
你不是说你家有焊枪

238
00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:23,875
我是说我要回去看一下

239
00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:25,541
白目哦‭‬

240
00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:28,125
就是要给你一个当兄弟的机会

241
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:29,416
我来

242
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,375
焊枪

243
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,583
刚就想吐槽你

244
00:20:33,708 --> 00:20:35,541
那是烤肉用的喷灯

245
00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:37,958
这不是焊枪吗

246
00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:42,125
干‭　‬怎么跟这群白痴在一起啊

247
00:20:54,958 --> 00:20:55,833
等一下

248
00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:56,833
干嘛‭‬

249
00:20:59,666 --> 00:21:00,791
什么啦

250
00:21:13,708 --> 00:21:15,875
进去

251
00:21:17,791 --> 00:21:18,791
快一点

252
00:21:49,291 --> 00:21:50,500
干‭　‬白痴

253
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:52,333
不用理他‭　‬走

254
00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:58,000
摸奶侠去顾门

255
00:21:58,125 --> 00:21:59,333
去顾门

256
00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:01,625
顾门‭　‬快一点

257
00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:04,750
快

258
00:22:06,208 --> 00:22:08,750
老大‭　‬要不要我用焊枪把它烧开

259
00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:11,958
那不是焊枪　那是烤肉用的喷灯

260
00:22:21,625 --> 00:22:23,083
烧那里干嘛啦

261
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:25,500
干白痴‭　‬我来

262
00:22:27,875 --> 00:22:29,250
小声一点啦

263
00:22:32,291 --> 00:22:33,208
不要拍照

264
00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:34,916
等一下拍到灵异照片怎么办

265
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:35,750
不会

266
00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:52,666
老大　不要用锯的

267
00:22:52,791 --> 00:22:53,958
砍这里

268
00:22:57,416 --> 00:22:58,375
快点啦

269
00:23:08,666 --> 00:23:09,500
李荣峰

270
00:23:10,541 --> 00:23:12,250
白痴

271
00:23:12,708 --> 00:23:14,083
吃橘子‭　‬白痴

272
00:23:14,708 --> 00:23:16,250
白痴‭　‬吃橘子

273
00:23:17,583 --> 00:23:18,500
吃橘子

274
00:23:20,416 --> 00:23:21,875
来哦　吃橘子

275
00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:23,875
过来

276
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,333
吃橘子

277
00:23:27,625 --> 00:23:29,750
来哦‭　‬吃橘子哦

278
00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:30,791
李荣峰

279
00:23:56,875 --> 00:23:59,333
这真的是金条吗‭　‬很重

280
00:23:59,708 --> 00:24:01,166
等一下再讲啦

281
00:24:03,250 --> 00:24:04,708
不是的话很亏

282
00:24:05,083 --> 00:24:06,250
等一下再讲

283
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,416
那要除以三还是除以四

284
00:24:10,541 --> 00:24:12,375
就跟你说等一下再讲

285
00:24:13,291 --> 00:24:14,541
除以四啦‭　‬我也有来

286
00:24:14,666 --> 00:24:16,541
安静哦‭　‬等一下再讲

287
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,208
等一下

288
00:24:21,333 --> 00:24:22,166
干嘛啦

289
00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:24,750
我有听到声音

290
00:24:28,250 --> 00:24:29,833
好像是

291
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,291
我的心跳声啦

292
00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:35,291
- 靠北哦‭
- ‬白痴哦 干

293
00:24:43,541 --> 00:24:44,875
等一下

294
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,208
怎样啦

295
00:24:46,333 --> 00:24:48,375
又有声音了啦

296
00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:50,708
什么啦

297
00:25:23,666 --> 00:25:25,125
快跑啊

298
00:25:28,750 --> 00:25:30,000
你干嘛不关静音啦

299
00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:31,916
我静音就坏掉了嘛

300
00:25:32,041 --> 00:25:32,958
换手啦

301
00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:34,291
真的很重

302
00:25:34,416 --> 00:25:36,083
- 换手啦
- 安静啦

303
00:25:47,208 --> 00:25:49,250
靠北啊‭　‬衰小

304
00:26:20,916 --> 00:26:22,083
这小孩子吧

305
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:24,083
要报警吗

306
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,333
白痴哦　报什么警

307
00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:33,750
- 怎么办
- 廖国峰…

308
00:26:34,250 --> 00:26:35,333
什么东西！

309
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:36,875
怎么办啦

310
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,000
怎么办

311
00:26:43,875 --> 00:26:44,833
闪了啦

312
00:26:45,791 --> 00:26:47,083
闪了啦

313
00:26:50,416 --> 00:26:51,750
不能闪啊

314
00:27:23,791 --> 00:27:25,375
干

315
00:27:28,791 --> 00:27:29,458
老大

316
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:31,958
要不要用电击啊

317
00:27:32,916 --> 00:27:34,458
哪来的电击啊

318
00:27:34,583 --> 00:27:36,500
廖国峰你白痴是不是啊

319
00:27:38,583 --> 00:27:39,625
不是啊　老大

320
00:27:40,333 --> 00:27:41,375
我们到底是干嘛

321
00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:42,833
干嘛把它带来这里啊

322
00:27:42,958 --> 00:27:44,208
你白痴哦

323
00:27:44,875 --> 00:27:46,291
把它留在那里

324
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,416
警察调阅监视器我们就死定了

325
00:27:50,625 --> 00:27:53,458
它死了　就把它埋起来

326
00:27:53,583 --> 00:27:55,333
人又不是我们杀的

327
00:27:55,458 --> 00:27:56,791
是没错啊

328
00:27:57,958 --> 00:28:00,083
可是你那一挥

329
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:01,625
什么我那一挥

330
00:28:03,666 --> 00:28:05,416
你要不要被车撞撞看

331
00:28:06,791 --> 00:28:08,500
我在这里可以挖一个洞

332
00:28:08,625 --> 00:28:09,708
也可以挖两个

333
00:29:40,458 --> 00:29:41,333
你刚有没有看到

334
00:29:41,791 --> 00:29:42,458
看到什么

335
00:29:42,583 --> 00:29:43,583
它好像　怕光

336
00:29:43,708 --> 00:29:44,250
对　它怕光

337
00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:45,291
怕光

338
00:29:46,583 --> 00:29:47,625
干嘛啦

339
00:29:48,750 --> 00:29:49,583
拿错啦！

340
00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:57,250
国父显灵

341
00:29:57,375 --> 00:29:58,583
干　真的假的

342
00:29:59,416 --> 00:30:00,291
拿来

343
00:30:42,916 --> 00:30:46,791
其实人生啊　加加减减就够用

344
00:30:48,250 --> 00:30:50,833
各位同学　没事可以睡觉

345
00:30:51,791 --> 00:30:52,625
睡觉好

346
00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:55,083
睡觉很好

347
00:30:56,958 --> 00:31:01,208
至于下一题有同学想知道吗

348
00:31:02,333 --> 00:31:06,000
你想知道啊　整我是不是啊

349
00:31:08,541 --> 00:31:10,041
你一整天上课都在睡觉

350
00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:11,625
到底都在搞什么鬼

351
00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:19,083
投降

352
00:31:32,083 --> 00:31:33,083
你们这是绑架

353
00:31:33,208 --> 00:31:34,541
对　就是绑架

354
00:31:34,958 --> 00:31:36,708
绑架

355
00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:39,083
老大　可是它好像不饿

356
00:31:39,208 --> 00:31:41,500
白痴啊　你不是都看到

357
00:31:41,625 --> 00:31:43,791
它吃人不吃便当

358
00:31:44,791 --> 00:31:46,000
吃人

359
00:32:14,416 --> 00:32:15,125
叶伟竹

360
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:19,833
你们真的有病

361
00:32:19,958 --> 00:32:21,250
抓这种东西干嘛

362
00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:24,000
抓到怪物很棒啊

363
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:25,750
它又不是人

364
00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:27,791
我们要干嘛就干嘛

365
00:32:27,916 --> 00:32:30,250
可是把它关在这里　是要关多久

366
00:32:30,708 --> 00:32:31,833
关到

367
00:32:32,541 --> 00:32:35,250
我知道它可以干嘛为止

368
00:33:17,083 --> 00:33:18,625
你不要太害怕

369
00:33:20,291 --> 00:33:22,833
他们玩够了就会放你走

370
00:33:28,708 --> 00:33:30,125
摸奶侠准备好了没

371
00:33:31,458 --> 00:33:32,416
快

372
00:34:00,208 --> 00:34:01,083
抓好

373
00:34:08,375 --> 00:34:10,583
来　今天让你升级

374
00:34:56,416 --> 00:34:58,541
你还是比较习惯被弄是不是

375
00:35:00,458 --> 00:35:01,250
抓好

376
00:35:06,041 --> 00:35:06,750
干

377
00:35:07,375 --> 00:35:08,416
血好黑

378
00:35:09,125 --> 00:35:10,041
拔了它还会不会再长

379
00:35:10,166 --> 00:35:12,250
怪物的身体就是会无限修复啊

380
00:35:12,375 --> 00:35:13,250
电影不都这样演

381
00:35:13,375 --> 00:35:14,583
再长就再拔

382
00:35:14,708 --> 00:35:16,208
长了一直拔

383
00:35:16,333 --> 00:35:17,250
一直拔

384
00:35:17,375 --> 00:35:18,541
一直

385
00:35:18,666 --> 00:35:19,666
拔

386
00:35:22,583 --> 00:35:24,291
快　瓶子

387
00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:28,458
我要拿去串珠珠

388
00:35:28,583 --> 00:35:30,541
随便你啊　你喜欢就好

389
00:35:58,750 --> 00:36:02,500
（⋯中国的骆驼）

390
00:36:02,666 --> 00:36:10,458
（长城绵延　黄沙滚滚）

391
00:36:10,583 --> 00:36:18,625
（是我生长的泉源）

392
00:36:18,750 --> 00:36:24,833
（那路虽然遥远）

393
00:36:24,958 --> 00:36:29,250
（我仍然往前冲）

394
00:36:29,375 --> 00:36:39,458
（只因我是中国的骆驼）

395
00:36:47,833 --> 00:36:48,833
大刀队

396
00:36:49,583 --> 00:36:51,333
第29编队

397
00:36:52,041 --> 00:36:53,125
小队长

398
00:36:53,916 --> 00:36:55,458
拐六五

399
00:36:56,041 --> 00:36:57,291
李荣峰

400
00:36:58,166 --> 00:36:59,541
何方妖孽

401
00:37:00,750 --> 00:37:02,583
报上名来

402
00:37:35,333 --> 00:37:36,208
报什么名

403
00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:38,166
这栋大楼很多人都不见

404
00:37:38,291 --> 00:37:39,291
人家说闹鬼

405
00:37:39,416 --> 00:37:40,583
闹鬼耶

406
00:37:40,708 --> 00:37:43,166
你这死老芋仔三更半夜不睡

407
00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:44,583
唱什么死人骨头歌

408
00:37:44,708 --> 00:37:45,916
说什么骆驼

409
00:37:46,041 --> 00:37:47,666
骆驼　骆驼在哪

410
00:37:47,791 --> 00:37:49,208
你去动物园看啦

411
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:51,125
你有公德心吗

412
00:37:51,250 --> 00:37:53,958
你看你　拿这把刀这么大把

413
00:37:54,083 --> 00:37:55,250
你想吓死谁

414
00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:58,791
老人痴呆有什么了不起

415
00:37:58,916 --> 00:38:01,541
再过几年我也会老人痴呆

416
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:30,416
天地无极　乾坤借法

417
00:38:34,208 --> 00:38:35,166
没用

418
00:38:36,333 --> 00:38:38,375
如果有人遇见一个少女

419
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:39,875
原是处女

420
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,708
还没有许配过人

421
00:38:41,833 --> 00:38:43,541
就抓住她　和她同寝

422
00:38:48,375 --> 00:38:49,666
睾丸受伤的

423
00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:51,583
或生殖器被割除的

424
00:38:51,708 --> 00:38:53,333
不可进耶和华的会

425
00:39:02,291 --> 00:39:03,250
烂

426
00:39:04,958 --> 00:39:07,625
不怕银也不怕圣经也不怕中指

427
00:39:07,750 --> 00:39:09,375
它根本不是吸血鬼

428
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:10,541
也不是僵尸

429
00:39:11,291 --> 00:39:13,208
反正也不是人

430
00:39:15,083 --> 00:39:16,041
你要谢谢它

431
00:39:16,375 --> 00:39:17,208
为什么

432
00:39:17,333 --> 00:39:18,666
如果我们今天没有抓到它的话

433
00:39:18,791 --> 00:39:20,791
绑在上面的是你耶

434
00:39:20,916 --> 00:39:23,250
是我　可是它绑经书

435
00:39:23,916 --> 00:39:25,875
你就绑A书嘛　对不对

436
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,166
反正如果是你的话

437
00:39:27,291 --> 00:39:29,875
我一定会想到别的方法玩你的

438
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,666
快　谢谢它

439
00:39:37,583 --> 00:39:38,500
谢谢你啊

440
00:39:40,333 --> 00:39:42,875
靠北　你还真的谢谢它啊

441
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,291
我们一起抓到它的

442
00:39:44,416 --> 00:39:46,583
你也有四分之一的股份

443
00:39:47,958 --> 00:39:49,416
五分之一

444
00:39:51,208 --> 00:39:53,708
对不起，我刚想说⋯

445
00:40:00,583 --> 00:40:02,291
青蛙啦！

446
00:40:03,333 --> 00:40:05,791
青蛙耶，好可爱青蛙耶！

447
00:40:05,958 --> 00:40:09,666
- 拿走啦
- 手不要过来，好恶哦！

448
00:40:15,791 --> 00:40:16,833
我看一下

449
00:40:20,875 --> 00:40:22,333
我怎么看不到红血球

450
00:40:22,458 --> 00:40:23,583
因为

451
00:40:23,708 --> 00:40:25,250
根本就没有红血球

452
00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,708
那些黑黑一粒一粒的东西

453
00:40:33,833 --> 00:40:34,666
好像是蛋

454
00:40:34,791 --> 00:40:35,625
蛋

455
00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:36,958
孢子之类的吧

456
00:40:53,916 --> 00:40:55,083
这什么东西啊

457
00:41:34,166 --> 00:41:37,958
（林秀珍）

458
00:41:47,666 --> 00:41:51,291
（双尸命案）

459
00:41:58,416 --> 00:42:01,666
（降头师一家惨案）

460
00:42:10,291 --> 00:42:12,708
（制蛊谋财害命）

461
00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:15,750
（在妇女体内养蛊）

462
00:42:15,875 --> 00:42:18,541
（当月事来潮虫卵会一并排出）

463
00:42:30,791 --> 00:42:32,125
所以你想说什么

464
00:42:33,416 --> 00:42:34,541
它是人

465
00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:36,416
它以前是什么

466
00:42:36,541 --> 00:42:37,541
我不知道

467
00:42:37,666 --> 00:42:38,666
但现在

468
00:42:38,791 --> 00:42:39,958
就是怪物

469
00:42:41,041 --> 00:42:44,916
老大　我们这样会不会比仇笑痴还恶毒

470
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,041
仇笑痴是谁

471
00:42:47,166 --> 00:42:49,458
就是砍断陈金城手的那个啊

472
00:42:50,833 --> 00:42:51,833
左手还是右手

473
00:42:53,041 --> 00:42:54,291
双手

474
00:43:10,625 --> 00:43:13,500
那我们抓它到底干嘛啦

475
00:43:13,625 --> 00:43:17,875
不知道美国洋屌的NASA（太空总署）
对这种怪物有兴趣

476
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,583
还是他们都只抓ET

477
00:43:19,708 --> 00:43:22,166
拜托　我们只是高中生

478
00:43:22,291 --> 00:43:24,625
这种怪物怎么可能只有被我们抓到而已

479
00:43:24,750 --> 00:43:26,333
美国那里一定抓到很多

480
00:43:26,458 --> 00:43:27,625
不一定哦

481
00:43:28,250 --> 00:43:31,625
如果摸奶侠找到的旧报纸是真的

482
00:43:31,750 --> 00:43:33,708
这个妖怪走中国风

483
00:43:33,833 --> 00:43:35,083
而且还中蛊毒

484
00:43:35,208 --> 00:43:36,500
FBI不一定有啊

485
00:43:36,625 --> 00:43:38,000
所以我们可以卖给FBI

486
00:43:38,125 --> 00:43:39,458
不可能那样卖好不好

487
00:43:40,416 --> 00:43:42,416
我们抓它到底干嘛

488
00:43:42,541 --> 00:43:44,250
这样它迟早会饿死

489
00:43:45,333 --> 00:43:49,250
对　它再这样不吃人的话

490
00:43:49,375 --> 00:43:50,541
迟早会饿死

491
00:43:50,666 --> 00:43:52,416
那我们应该喂它吃谁啊

492
00:43:52,541 --> 00:43:54,291
对啊　喂谁

493
00:43:54,416 --> 00:43:56,750
对啊　到底要喂谁啊

494
00:43:56,875 --> 00:43:58,083
投票决定好了

495
00:43:58,208 --> 00:44:00,208
好啊　投票很好

496
00:44:00,333 --> 00:44:01,583
很民主

497
00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:02,791
好啊

498
00:44:30,708 --> 00:44:32,625
（哈罗　各位同学大家好）

499
00:44:32,750 --> 00:44:34,500
（我是小护士安琪拉）

500
00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:37,625
（今天要来教大家抽血三步骤）

501
00:44:38,875 --> 00:44:40,125
（步骤一：抽出…）

502
00:44:40,250 --> 00:44:41,708
这影片哪来的

503
00:44:42,208 --> 00:44:43,541
怎么怪怪的

504
00:44:44,125 --> 00:44:45,333
是不是乱拍啊

505
00:44:45,458 --> 00:44:46,708
哪会

506
00:44:46,833 --> 00:44:48,416
这点阅率最高

507
00:44:48,541 --> 00:44:49,458
一定有它的道理

508
00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:50,833
那为什么是我

509
00:44:50,958 --> 00:44:52,458
你就最有爱心啊

510
00:44:52,541 --> 00:44:55,166
（步骤二：拍打你的手臂⋯）

511
00:44:55,375 --> 00:44:58,041
还是你要眼睁睁看它饿死

512
00:44:58,625 --> 00:44:59,958
你血那么多

513
00:45:00,083 --> 00:45:01,250
抽一点又不会死

514
00:45:01,375 --> 00:45:02,166
对啊

515
00:45:02,291 --> 00:45:03,208
网路上有说

516
00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:06,500
偶尔捐血的人新陈代谢比一般人还要好

517
00:45:09,291 --> 00:45:10,583
你想对它好

518
00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:12,291
就不能只是嘴巴说说

519
00:45:19,375 --> 00:45:20,708
你不要乱动

520
00:45:21,541 --> 00:45:23,041
我刚刚又没动

521
00:45:25,833 --> 00:45:27,583
不要动我要瞄准

522
00:45:27,708 --> 00:45:29,291
我就没动啊

523
00:45:33,666 --> 00:45:35,750
你再动就自己抽

524
00:45:35,875 --> 00:45:38,166
好啊　那我就自己抽啊

525
00:45:38,625 --> 00:45:40,250
不　我来

526
00:45:40,916 --> 00:45:43,583
我从小就想当怪医黑杰克

527
00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:46,541
不　我来

528
00:45:46,666 --> 00:45:48,541
我从小就不怕血

529
00:45:48,666 --> 00:45:50,791
不　还是我来吧

530
00:45:50,916 --> 00:45:53,125
我从小什么事都做不好

531
00:45:53,791 --> 00:45:55,125
请给我一次机会

532
00:45:55,458 --> 00:45:56,875
我来啦

533
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,416
走开啦

534
00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:02,541
我要培养兴趣

535
00:46:36,208 --> 00:46:38,333
吃饭了

536
00:47:52,250 --> 00:47:53,708
你吸慢一点啦

537
00:47:54,708 --> 00:47:56,125
头会有一点晕

538
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:00,375
如果我们找到其它

539
00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:02,458
降头师或者是法师之类的

540
00:48:02,583 --> 00:48:06,875
可不可以把你身体里面的蛊虫排出来

541
00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:09,125
还是过太久了

542
00:48:11,333 --> 00:48:13,125
变不回人了吗

543
00:48:54,083 --> 00:48:55,458
你干嘛这样啊

544
00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:58,458
我也不是不知道你很可怜啊

545
00:48:59,125 --> 00:49:00,666
我要是随便放了你

546
00:49:01,125 --> 00:49:02,458
他们会杀了我

547
00:49:03,166 --> 00:49:04,875
他们真的会杀了我啊

548
00:49:06,166 --> 00:49:07,791
你又不是不知道

549
00:49:23,041 --> 00:49:24,458
不过你放心啦

550
00:49:28,291 --> 00:49:31,041
我一定会想办法救你出去

551
00:49:38,916 --> 00:49:40,166
你知道

552
00:49:41,291 --> 00:49:42,916
我是在帮你的吧

553
00:49:45,625 --> 00:49:46,833
我跟他们

554
00:49:47,875 --> 00:49:49,166
不一样啊

555
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,000
我跟他们不一样

556
00:50:14,458 --> 00:50:15,916
这张　这张是什么

557
00:50:16,416 --> 00:50:17,333
蓝色的

558
00:50:17,458 --> 00:50:19,666
蓝色的　什么　几元

559
00:50:19,791 --> 00:50:21,166
一千元

560
00:50:21,791 --> 00:50:22,541
不能拿喔

561
00:50:22,833 --> 00:50:23,583
不能拿

562
00:50:23,708 --> 00:50:26,166
你不是跟客人说不能拿　说没得找

563
00:50:26,291 --> 00:50:27,666
没得找

564
00:50:27,791 --> 00:50:31,125
对　没得找　不要拿　记得喔

565
00:50:35,250 --> 00:50:36,583
这张　这张啦

566
00:50:37,375 --> 00:50:38,916
一百块啦

567
00:50:39,041 --> 00:50:40,833
你不要一直玩那些　你看这里

568
00:50:40,958 --> 00:50:42,583
我会找啦

569
00:50:42,708 --> 00:50:46,291
这张　找什么　每次拿了就收下

570
00:50:46,416 --> 00:50:49,708
这张叫他自己拿　你要说自己拿

571
00:50:49,833 --> 00:50:51,166
自己找　自己拿

572
00:50:51,291 --> 00:50:52,958
我会拿啦

573
00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:54,666
什么你会拿　你拿干嘛

574
00:50:54,791 --> 00:50:55,875
叫他们自己拿

575
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,875
自己拿　我会找啦

576
00:51:04,500 --> 00:51:05,708
把东西放回去

577
00:51:05,833 --> 00:51:06,916
不然就付钱

578
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:08,708
要你管

579
00:51:09,375 --> 00:51:10,416
放回去

580
00:51:13,916 --> 00:51:17,291
- 一百块
- 不要找错了

581
00:51:17,875 --> 00:51:19,000
叫他自己拿

582
00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:24,000
等一下

583
00:51:25,333 --> 00:51:27,541
看这里…

584
00:51:31,666 --> 00:51:32,958
白痴

585
00:51:39,916 --> 00:51:41,208
起立

586
00:51:44,083 --> 00:51:45,583
立正

587
00:51:47,125 --> 00:51:47,916
敬礼

588
00:51:48,041 --> 00:51:50,958
老师好

589
00:51:51,083 --> 00:51:52,041
坐下

590
00:51:56,916 --> 00:51:57,583
好了

591
00:51:57,708 --> 00:51:58,916
安静

592
00:52:38,208 --> 00:52:39,625
段人豪

593
00:52:40,875 --> 00:52:42,416
是的　老师

594
00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:49,541
你把我儿子打成什么样子

595
00:52:49,666 --> 00:52:51,250
叫你爸妈出来负责

596
00:52:51,375 --> 00:52:53,125
段人豪赶快跟人家道歉

597
00:52:53,250 --> 00:52:54,541
道歉个屁

598
00:52:54,666 --> 00:52:57,125
我儿子现在躺在医院你拿什么来赔

599
00:52:57,250 --> 00:52:58,166
什么人豪

600
00:52:58,291 --> 00:52:59,750
根本就是人渣

601
00:52:59,875 --> 00:53:01,291
叫你爸妈出来负责

602
00:53:01,416 --> 00:53:03,500
人豪你最近到底是受了

603
00:53:03,625 --> 00:53:06,500
什么样的磁场影响老师不知道

604
00:53:06,625 --> 00:53:07,916
可是没有关系

605
00:53:08,041 --> 00:53:10,583
我想这个就是魔考

606
00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:12,208
来　老师帮你

607
00:53:12,333 --> 00:53:13,916
双手合十

608
00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:19,583
南无不空成就佛

609
00:53:19,708 --> 00:53:22,041
南无不空成就佛

610
00:53:22,166 --> 00:53:23,583
大日如来佛

611
00:53:23,708 --> 00:53:25,625
大日如来佛

612
00:53:25,750 --> 00:53:28,000
药师琉璃光如来佛

613
00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:30,625
药师琉璃光如来佛

614
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,958
阿弥陀佛

615
00:53:33,750 --> 00:53:36,666
阿弥陀佛　我认识哦

616
00:53:39,250 --> 00:53:41,500
护持弟子段人豪

617
00:53:41,625 --> 00:53:43,750
护持弟子段人豪

618
00:53:43,875 --> 00:53:46,791
消除前世今生业障

619
00:53:46,916 --> 00:53:49,875
千千万万劫

620
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,041
老师　你好好笑

621
00:53:53,291 --> 00:53:55,166
不准谤佛

622
00:53:59,750 --> 00:54:02,916
你现在对世尊不敬　对佛不敬

623
00:54:03,041 --> 00:54:04,875
是会下拔舌地狱的

624
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:06,291
拔什么

625
00:54:07,833 --> 00:54:09,333
拔舌地狱

626
00:54:09,458 --> 00:54:10,500
还在那边开玩笑

627
00:54:10,625 --> 00:54:11,500
给我站好

628
00:54:11,625 --> 00:54:13,166
怎么这么不可爱

629
00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:15,500
西方释迦琉璃佛

630
00:54:15,625 --> 00:54:16,833
听起来很强

631
00:54:17,708 --> 00:54:18,583
大日如来佛

632
00:54:18,708 --> 00:54:20,333
很大

633
00:54:20,458 --> 00:54:21,916
药师琉璃光如来佛

634
00:54:22,041 --> 00:54:23,166
卖药的

635
00:54:23,291 --> 00:54:24,291
还在开玩笑

636
00:54:24,416 --> 00:54:26,750
你这嬉皮笑脸　站好

637
00:54:27,833 --> 00:54:29,500
大日如来佛

638
00:54:31,791 --> 00:54:33,666
药师琉璃光如来佛

639
00:54:33,791 --> 00:54:34,500
念啊

640
00:54:34,625 --> 00:54:35,958
叫你给我念听到没有

641
00:54:36,083 --> 00:54:37,333
念啊

642
00:54:37,458 --> 00:54:40,125
大日如来佛听到没有

643
00:54:40,250 --> 00:54:42,541
再一次给你机会不懂得反省

644
00:54:43,750 --> 00:54:44,916
段人豪

645
00:54:46,458 --> 00:54:47,958
明天给我叫你爸爸来

646
00:54:48,083 --> 00:54:49,333
我要好好问他

647
00:54:49,458 --> 00:54:50,958
看他是怎么教出你这一个

648
00:54:51,083 --> 00:54:52,416
不懂得尊重师长

649
00:54:52,541 --> 00:54:54,541
不懂得尊重自己的

650
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:55,375
废物

651
00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:56,958
你说谁才是废物

652
00:55:13,791 --> 00:55:14,916
人豪

653
00:55:15,625 --> 00:55:17,625
老师突然间想起来了

654
00:55:19,958 --> 00:55:21,833
我要跟你说对不起

655
00:55:22,291 --> 00:55:24,166
是我忘记了

656
00:55:26,083 --> 00:55:29,000
你爸爸明天没有办法来学校对不对

657
00:55:33,583 --> 00:55:35,208
是这样的

658
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:38,791
在家访资料上面有写

659
00:55:38,916 --> 00:55:40,875
他爸爸还在坐牢

660
00:55:42,958 --> 00:55:45,291
这到底是犯什么罪

661
00:55:47,083 --> 00:55:51,000
是吸毒还是抢劫

662
00:55:52,291 --> 00:55:54,625
还是吸毒加抢劫

663
00:55:59,541 --> 00:56:02,000
其实真的不能怪人豪

664
00:56:02,125 --> 00:56:05,333
他会变成这样的一个人渣

665
00:56:05,458 --> 00:56:07,041
是因为他爸爸自己本身

666
00:56:07,166 --> 00:56:10,416
也是一个作奸犯科的社会败类

667
00:56:11,291 --> 00:56:13,375
可是认真想一想

668
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:15,916
他爸爸到底是不是他亲生爸爸

669
00:56:16,041 --> 00:56:17,958
这也很难说

670
00:56:19,583 --> 00:56:22,083
因为他妈妈的职业特殊

671
00:56:22,333 --> 00:56:24,250
当初到底是哪一个毒虫

672
00:56:24,375 --> 00:56:25,750
搞大了他妈妈的肚子

673
00:56:25,875 --> 00:56:27,708
其实没有人弄得清楚

674
00:56:27,833 --> 00:56:30,750
人豪他真的不是家教不好

675
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,041
他是

676
00:56:34,583 --> 00:56:36,750
没有家教

677
00:56:43,666 --> 00:56:44,625
操

678
00:56:44,750 --> 00:56:45,833
烂货

679
00:56:45,958 --> 00:56:46,750
我要

680
00:56:46,875 --> 00:56:48,500
弄死你

681
00:56:48,750 --> 00:56:49,875
弄死你

682
00:56:55,583 --> 00:56:56,583
干

683
00:58:17,916 --> 00:58:19,625
为什么每个人都要加

684
00:58:22,041 --> 00:58:23,708
我只是问一下

685
00:58:27,833 --> 00:58:29,041
加了会怎样

686
00:58:29,166 --> 00:58:30,750
白痴　就是不知道加了会怎样

687
00:58:30,875 --> 00:58:32,583
所以才要加啊

688
00:58:32,708 --> 00:58:35,000
到底有没有实验精神

689
00:58:35,125 --> 00:58:37,500
那我们先用别的东西试试看啊

690
00:58:37,625 --> 00:58:39,208
用你试试看你觉得怎样

691
00:58:43,083 --> 00:58:44,958
会跟电影演得一样

692
00:58:45,083 --> 00:58:48,708
老师喝了这个怪物的血　不就会

693
00:58:48,833 --> 00:58:50,375
不就会怎样

694
00:58:50,500 --> 00:58:52,000
变成怪物

695
00:58:53,833 --> 00:58:55,500
变成怪物最好

696
00:59:40,791 --> 00:59:43,458
佩芬下班后一起去看电影

697
00:59:43,583 --> 00:59:46,083
最近有一部电影满“特辣”的

698
00:59:48,375 --> 00:59:50,125
是“特别”

699
00:59:51,416 --> 00:59:54,833
对啦　是一部满“特别”的电影

700
00:59:54,958 --> 00:59:57,750
这部电影基本上是在讲谈恋爱的

701
01:00:01,583 --> 01:00:02,500
老大

702
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:08,375
我想跟你说

703
01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:10,375
那天谢谢你

704
01:00:11,250 --> 01:00:12,291
谢什么

705
01:00:13,041 --> 01:00:14,875
谢谢你帮我出气啊

706
01:00:15,625 --> 01:00:19,583
放心啦　从今以后只有我可以打你

707
01:00:19,708 --> 01:00:20,916
其它人打你

708
01:00:21,041 --> 01:00:22,666
我一定打回去

709
01:00:29,625 --> 01:00:31,166
你干嘛打我啊

710
01:00:32,666 --> 01:00:33,958
打我干嘛啊

711
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:35,500
打你好玩啊

712
01:00:43,083 --> 01:00:45,875
它里面有最近最流行的活尸

713
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,583
还有几只狼人啊　吸血鬼啊

714
01:00:48,708 --> 01:00:50,791
下班以后

715
01:00:50,916 --> 01:00:52,583
我要去精舍

716
01:00:54,041 --> 01:00:55,958
这样子我们可以一起去拜拜

717
01:00:56,083 --> 01:00:58,083
然后再一起去看电影啊

718
01:00:59,791 --> 01:01:02,416
去精舍不是去拜拜

719
01:01:02,541 --> 01:01:03,916
是去修

720
01:01:04,583 --> 01:01:07,541
我最近跟那群学生讲话的时候

721
01:01:07,666 --> 01:01:09,250
也差点控制不了

722
01:01:09,375 --> 01:01:12,583
他们就是一群没有灵性

723
01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:17,625
你看我这样要不要跟你去修一下

724
01:01:18,875 --> 01:01:20,666
我送你去保健室啦

725
01:01:20,791 --> 01:01:21,875
谢谢

726
01:01:24,375 --> 01:01:25,750
中大奖了

727
01:01:42,916 --> 01:01:44,875
快送老师去保健室

728
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,625
看特写罗

729
01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:51,625
老师

730
01:02:00,166 --> 01:02:01,291
老师

731
01:02:03,375 --> 01:02:05,250
阿弥陀佛

732
01:02:06,208 --> 01:02:07,708
我认识哦

733
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:46,083
你们在干什么

734
01:02:46,208 --> 01:02:47,416
冲脱泡盖送

735
01:02:47,916 --> 01:02:49,041
冲脱泡盖送

736
01:02:49,166 --> 01:02:50,125
同学冷静一点　冷静一点

737
01:02:50,250 --> 01:02:52,125
冲脱泡盖送

738
01:02:54,916 --> 01:02:59,750
冲　脱　泡　盖　送

739
01:03:00,958 --> 01:03:02,250
（您现在看到的画面）

740
01:03:02,375 --> 01:03:04,500
（就是今天下午在东实高中）

741
01:03:04,625 --> 01:03:07,416
（发生的一起人体自燃事件）

742
01:03:07,541 --> 01:03:09,750
（一名英文老师在看球赛时）

743
01:03:09,875 --> 01:03:11,541
（下体突然大量喷血）

744
01:03:11,666 --> 01:03:14,791
（紧接着全身着火当场死亡）

745
01:03:14,916 --> 01:03:17,125
（起火原因有待警方确认）

746
01:03:17,250 --> 01:03:19,750
（值得注意的是目击悲剧的学生…）

747
01:03:53,583 --> 01:03:54,833
加了会怎样

748
01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:56,666
变成怪物最好

749
01:03:56,791 --> 01:03:57,750
到时候

750
01:03:57,875 --> 01:03:58,666
要玩谁

751
01:03:58,791 --> 01:03:59,458
就把谁

752
01:03:59,583 --> 01:04:00,791
变成怪物

753
01:04:00,916 --> 01:04:01,875
通通抓起来

754
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:03,583
把牙齿拔光

755
01:04:15,583 --> 01:04:16,833
林书伟

756
01:04:16,958 --> 01:04:19,291
你终于来了

757
01:04:22,750 --> 01:04:24,541
庆祝老师变成一只火鸟

758
01:04:24,666 --> 01:04:25,791
火鸟

759
01:04:30,625 --> 01:04:31,375
干嘛不喝啦

760
01:04:33,125 --> 01:04:34,416
不喜欢喝啦

761
01:04:34,541 --> 01:04:36,000
上次万圣节不是有喝

762
01:04:36,125 --> 01:04:38,541
这种会有铁锈味不喜欢喝

763
01:04:38,666 --> 01:04:41,750
我比较喜欢喝玻璃瓶的那一种

764
01:04:41,875 --> 01:04:43,500
玻璃瓶的

765
01:04:44,916 --> 01:04:47,083
这里刚好有

766
01:04:47,208 --> 01:04:48,875
我说的是那种

767
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:49,791
红酒那一种啦

768
01:04:49,916 --> 01:04:52,000
红酒　有　来

769
01:04:52,125 --> 01:04:53,583
有

770
01:04:53,708 --> 01:04:54,958
刚好　又有

771
01:04:55,083 --> 01:04:57,208
剩一点　来

772
01:04:57,333 --> 01:04:58,291
喝

773
01:04:59,583 --> 01:05:01,833
不行啦　我回去还是会被骂啦

774
01:05:02,583 --> 01:05:03,750
刷牙啊

775
01:05:03,875 --> 01:05:05,666
刷牙　我又没带牙刷

776
01:05:05,791 --> 01:05:07,125
厕所有啦

777
01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:08,166
厕所怎么会有牙刷

778
01:05:08,291 --> 01:05:09,833
高级吧

779
01:05:11,916 --> 01:05:13,208
那我也没牙膏啊

780
01:05:13,333 --> 01:05:16,375
等一下　你要黑人牙膏还是要舒酸定的

781
01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:23,833
我平常不是用这一种的

782
01:05:23,958 --> 01:05:25,291
到底喝不喝啦

783
01:05:48,208 --> 01:05:50,291
（火鸟）

784
01:05:52,041 --> 01:05:57,583
（燃烧吧，燃烧吧，火鸟）

785
01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,583
你觉得我会烧死你是不是

786
01:06:07,125 --> 01:06:09,500
我要杀了你方法有一百万种

787
01:06:09,625 --> 01:06:11,166
干嘛用下毒的

788
01:06:16,875 --> 01:06:18,750
你们到底拉他进来做什么

789
01:06:18,875 --> 01:06:20,500
我就是搞不懂

790
01:06:22,666 --> 01:06:25,208
可能是因为我有血吧

791
01:06:28,208 --> 01:06:30,708
抽血强迫你了是不是啊

792
01:06:30,833 --> 01:06:32,500
把怪物饿死　我爽

793
01:06:32,625 --> 01:06:33,958
他爽　他爽

794
01:06:34,083 --> 01:06:35,166
他也很爽

795
01:06:35,291 --> 01:06:36,958
就你一个人不爽嘛

796
01:06:40,416 --> 01:06:41,875
看什么

797
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:44,250
想把怪物放掉你就放啊

798
01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:46,750
把怪物放掉让它把你吃掉嘛

799
01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:49,125
只想做好人

800
01:06:49,250 --> 01:06:51,541
又没有种做好人

801
01:06:51,666 --> 01:06:53,375
算什么东西啊

802
01:07:33,875 --> 01:07:35,583
自己找

803
01:07:39,166 --> 01:07:42,125
一百块　自己找

804
01:08:09,708 --> 01:08:10,875
一百块

805
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:13,625
你知不知道我在骗你啊

806
01:08:13,750 --> 01:08:16,000
你知不知道我在骗你啊

807
01:08:16,125 --> 01:08:18,666
你干嘛这么容易就相信别人

808
01:08:19,708 --> 01:08:20,833
我跟你讲

809
01:08:20,958 --> 01:08:23,958
这个世界上没有好人都是坏人

810
01:08:24,666 --> 01:08:27,041
不然就像你一样的白痴

811
01:08:35,750 --> 01:08:38,833
- 一百块…
- 你

812
01:08:38,958 --> 01:08:41,666
你这个白痴　懂不懂

813
01:08:41,791 --> 01:08:44,166
一百块　自己找

814
01:08:44,291 --> 01:08:45,041
懂不懂啊

815
01:08:45,166 --> 01:08:46,833
自己找

816
01:08:48,125 --> 01:08:49,708
一百块

817
01:08:49,833 --> 01:08:50,583
你这个白痴

818
01:08:50,708 --> 01:08:57,833
一百块　自己找

819
01:08:57,958 --> 01:09:00,500
钱掉到地上

820
01:10:17,625 --> 01:10:18,833
（昨天晚上深夜）

821
01:10:18,958 --> 01:10:23,916
（一名刚从学校晚自习下课
东实高中高三布姓男同学⋯）

822
01:10:24,208 --> 01:10:28,250
我听说这个尸体被狗啃到早上

823
01:10:28,375 --> 01:10:30,416
（一名东实高中三年级的男同学⋯）

824
01:10:31,500 --> 01:10:35,291
（⋯遭受重击，陈尸在中实路
这一台贩卖机旁）

825
01:10:35,500 --> 01:10:40,000
（当时撞击之猛，力道之强
究竟是谁让一个青春⋯）

826
01:10:40,375 --> 01:10:42,083
这已经是这个月第七次

827
01:10:42,583 --> 01:10:44,291
你们一直提到另一个怪物

828
01:10:44,416 --> 01:10:45,875
大概是看了新闻

829
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:47,291
联想到它同伴的失踪

830
01:10:47,416 --> 01:10:49,250
一定是跟我们学校的学生有关

831
01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:51,541
想到又怎样

832
01:10:51,916 --> 01:10:53,375
反正它又不知道是谁

833
01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,208
抓走它同伴

834
01:10:55,333 --> 01:10:57,875
- 对不对
- 不要！干嘛啦！

835
01:11:00,625 --> 01:11:01,500
好啦

836
01:11:01,625 --> 01:11:02,625
你玩也玩够了

837
01:11:02,750 --> 01:11:04,500
到底什么时候把它烧一烧啦

838
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:07,541
摸奶侠血很多啊

839
01:11:07,666 --> 01:11:10,000
就看什么时候用完

840
01:11:39,750 --> 01:11:44,291
我是补习班传纸条给你的那一个

841
01:11:44,416 --> 01:11:49,500
你说传纸条叫我上课不要打手枪

842
01:11:51,333 --> 01:11:53,041
我很生气

843
01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:57,500
因为　因为我真的在打手枪

844
01:12:02,500 --> 01:12:06,500
可是我发誓我真的没有射

845
01:12:07,458 --> 01:12:09,541
因为会有味道

846
01:12:10,791 --> 01:12:14,125
毕竟我不是个变态

847
01:12:17,916 --> 01:12:21,083
因为我爱你

848
01:12:31,791 --> 01:12:34,625
（那你要喝什么）

849
01:12:35,958 --> 01:12:37,625
我要一杯西瓜汁

850
01:12:39,500 --> 01:12:40,875
特大杯的

851
01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:00,333
干什么

852
01:13:03,958 --> 01:13:06,791
他妈的　遇到疯子

853
01:13:11,208 --> 01:13:13,750
喂　你要干嘛

854
01:13:20,916 --> 01:13:24,000
老板娘　一杯西瓜汁特大杯

855
01:13:31,416 --> 01:13:32,791
到底要干什么

856
01:13:52,916 --> 01:13:59,375
妹妹

857
01:20:24,166 --> 01:20:25,166
准备好了

858
01:20:27,958 --> 01:20:29,208
那个大怪物

859
01:20:29,333 --> 01:20:31,750
一定会回到当初弄丢它妹妹的地方

860
01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:34,583
有了吗

861
01:20:39,375 --> 01:20:41,208
有　有反应

862
01:20:41,333 --> 01:20:42,250
你们两个

863
01:20:43,541 --> 01:20:44,791
这条你们走

864
01:20:45,833 --> 01:20:46,833
摸奶侠

865
01:20:47,583 --> 01:20:48,708
这条给你

866
01:20:48,833 --> 01:20:50,000
这条我来

867
01:20:50,125 --> 01:20:51,583
不管它走哪一条路

868
01:20:52,333 --> 01:20:55,250
一定都会被它妹妹的血引到这里

869
01:20:57,041 --> 01:20:58,250
就在这里

870
01:20:58,875 --> 01:21:00,208
把它干掉

871
01:21:03,625 --> 01:21:04,708
怪物的鼻子很灵

872
01:21:04,833 --> 01:21:07,333
所以汽油不能先泼在小怪物身上

873
01:21:07,458 --> 01:21:09,875
要把汽油放在贮水槽

874
01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:12,541
叶伟竹　你躲在那里

875
01:21:12,666 --> 01:21:15,041
怪物一来就通知我们

876
01:21:24,041 --> 01:21:25,958
把所有出入口封死

877
01:21:26,083 --> 01:21:27,416
让它只能从这里进来

878
01:21:27,541 --> 01:21:28,958
摸奶侠

879
01:21:29,083 --> 01:21:31,916
等它一进去就把门锁死

880
01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:35,250
廖国锋

881
01:21:35,375 --> 01:21:37,083
你就把贮水槽打开

882
01:21:37,916 --> 01:21:39,875
让汽油灌进洒水器

883
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:41,291
然后老大点火

884
01:21:41,416 --> 01:21:41,958
碰

885
01:21:42,083 --> 01:21:44,958
这就叫瓮中捉龟

886
01:22:02,083 --> 01:22:03,208
那如果

887
01:22:03,791 --> 01:22:04,958
它

888
01:22:05,083 --> 01:22:06,291
没来呢

889
01:22:07,083 --> 01:22:08,666
它一定会来

890
01:23:33,208 --> 01:23:35,000
这里面我动作最慢

891
01:23:36,125 --> 01:23:38,000
万一关门不够快怎么办

892
01:23:38,541 --> 01:23:41,333
不够快　你就等着被怪物干掉

893
01:23:43,458 --> 01:23:46,791
我觉得应该由跑最快的人来关门吧

894
01:23:47,333 --> 01:23:48,750
不然投票嘛

895
01:23:49,500 --> 01:23:51,083
赞成我关门的举手

896
01:23:54,750 --> 01:23:57,125
赞成摸奶侠关门的人举手

897
01:23:59,250 --> 01:24:00,250
那如果

898
01:24:00,375 --> 01:24:02,000
怪物冲进去之前

899
01:24:02,125 --> 01:24:02,833
就发现我

900
01:24:02,958 --> 01:24:03,750
那怎么办

901
01:24:04,250 --> 01:24:06,000
那就算你倒霉啊

902
01:24:26,750 --> 01:24:28,625
这几天我们做的事

903
01:24:29,250 --> 01:24:31,208
你应该都知道吧

904
01:24:31,333 --> 01:24:34,000
不过我搞定了

905
01:24:34,916 --> 01:24:37,041
你姐姐解开锁链之后

906
01:24:37,500 --> 01:24:39,458
就可以从这边逃走

907
01:24:42,708 --> 01:24:44,250
你应该知道吧

908
01:24:47,875 --> 01:24:50,208
其实我也不好

909
01:24:51,458 --> 01:24:52,541
不过

910
01:24:53,500 --> 01:24:55,166
我想要做对

911
01:24:55,291 --> 01:24:56,958
最后一件事

912
01:25:25,791 --> 01:25:28,125
（距离日落15分钟）

913
01:25:43,416 --> 01:25:47,041
干！李荣峰没想到你还满屌的

914
01:25:50,875 --> 01:25:52,583
被老大说中了

915
01:25:52,708 --> 01:25:54,583
那只比较大只的怪物

916
01:25:54,708 --> 01:25:58,250
会回到当初把小怪弄丢的地方

917
01:28:12,666 --> 01:28:13,750
叶伟竹

918
01:28:14,666 --> 01:28:15,583
干嘛啊

919
01:28:15,708 --> 01:28:18,041
可不可以跟你换

920
01:28:18,166 --> 01:28:19,875
不是都投票决定了吗

921
01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:21,333
快回去啦

922
01:28:22,458 --> 01:28:24,375
我刚刚练折返跑的时候

923
01:28:24,500 --> 01:28:25,958
脚好像扭到了

924
01:28:27,333 --> 01:28:28,250
我想跟你换

925
01:28:28,375 --> 01:28:30,791
你看不出来　我也会腿软哦

926
01:28:30,916 --> 01:28:32,291
不要闹了啦

927
01:28:34,416 --> 01:28:36,916
我们不是朋友吗

928
01:28:37,041 --> 01:28:38,916
所以你要叫朋友去死哦

929
01:28:57,000 --> 01:28:58,666
你到底要干嘛啦

930
01:28:58,791 --> 01:29:00,500
那当初

931
01:29:00,625 --> 01:29:03,125
为什么你们要栽赃我偷班费

932
01:29:03,250 --> 01:29:05,708
现在讲这些有意义吗

933
01:29:09,416 --> 01:29:10,875
就好玩嘛

934
01:29:19,916 --> 01:29:23,541
如果我们今天没有抓到它的话
绑在上面的是你耶⋯

935
01:29:26,000 --> 01:29:26,416
弄死你！

936
01:29:26,541 --> 01:29:28,541
杀你方法有一百万种

937
01:29:29,083 --> 01:29:32,083
- 从今以后只有我可以打你
- 你干嘛打我啊

938
01:29:32,416 --> 01:29:36,375
打你好玩啊

939
01:29:37,166 --> 01:29:38,375
打你好玩啊

940
01:31:38,916 --> 01:31:40,083
来啊

941
01:31:41,375 --> 01:31:42,500
来啊

942
01:31:44,541 --> 01:31:45,708
来啊

943
01:31:46,333 --> 01:31:47,583
出来啊

944
01:32:04,250 --> 01:32:05,791
开门啊

945
01:32:05,916 --> 01:32:06,916
计划不是这样

946
01:32:07,041 --> 01:32:08,375
计划当然不是这样

947
01:32:08,500 --> 01:32:09,833
我们根本就不是朋友

948
01:32:09,958 --> 01:32:12,250
我们是朋友　是兄弟

949
01:32:12,375 --> 01:32:13,500
放屁

950
01:32:13,625 --> 01:32:17,083
跟你们在一起迟早会被你们玩死啊

951
01:32:29,791 --> 01:32:31,625
你干嘛帮那个怪物

952
01:32:32,208 --> 01:32:33,250
那个怪物会吃人

953
01:32:33,375 --> 01:32:34,750
怪物吃人又怎样

954
01:32:34,875 --> 01:32:36,083
一直欺负怪物

955
01:32:36,208 --> 01:32:37,625
我们又不会变成好人

956
01:32:37,750 --> 01:32:39,458
我们只会越来越坏

957
01:32:39,791 --> 01:32:42,416
开门

958
01:32:42,541 --> 01:32:44,958
你杀掉我有一百种方法

959
01:32:45,083 --> 01:32:46,125
开门啊

960
01:32:46,250 --> 01:32:47,541
我杀掉你

961
01:32:48,291 --> 01:32:50,333
就只有现在

962
01:33:42,791 --> 01:33:45,125
你知道我是跟你们同一边同一国的吗

963
01:33:45,250 --> 01:33:47,708
你会跟你姐姐讲不能杀我对吧

964
01:33:47,833 --> 01:33:48,708
你知道吧

965
01:33:48,833 --> 01:33:50,791
快点跟我讲你知道啊

966
01:34:38,083 --> 01:34:38,958
我跟他们不一样

967
01:34:39,083 --> 01:34:39,958
我是来救你妹妹的

968
01:34:40,083 --> 01:34:41,083
不然它早就死

969
01:34:41,208 --> 01:34:42,666
我跟他们不一样啊

970
01:34:43,083 --> 01:34:45,375
我喂它血

971
01:34:46,083 --> 01:34:47,666
我是好人

972
01:34:57,208 --> 01:34:58,833
救我

973
01:35:28,416 --> 01:35:30,333
（日出）

974
01:39:33,625 --> 01:39:37,041
一百块　自己找

975
01:39:37,958 --> 01:39:39,583
自己找

976
01:40:06,916 --> 01:40:09,041
（最喜欢了！）

977
01:40:59,416 --> 01:41:02,000
你跟我们不一样

978
01:41:35,000 --> 01:41:37,083
你们好烦喔

979
01:41:37,458 --> 01:41:38,583
吃饭啦

980
01:41:39,333 --> 01:41:41,583
不要吵啦　吃饭啦