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The big headline of the day is about self-made millionaire, Mr. Lu.
He was accused of committing commercial bribery.
Here he is. Let's interview him.
Mr. Lu.
What do you think about the accusation?
If every person who accuses me is worth one dollar,
I would've become a millionaire!
You must be kidding.
Am I?
I'm already a millionaire!
As the saying goes, a good mind will be rewarded.
God knows it all.
I haven't finished yet!
A mysterious man showed up to save the people
and even chased away all the hooligans in this town.
I have come to this town today
to remove the veil of this mysterious man.
Miss, can you tell us more about the mysterious man?
He is a superhero.
He can knock all villains down
barehanded.
Rumor has it that he's very handsome.
THE MYSTERIOUS MAN
He's indeed mysterious!
My friend told me
that he chased all the villains away from my village.
He's our savior.
All right! Is this story real or made-up?
Does the mysterious man really exist?
They said that he's real.
But where is he?
When will he show up?
It's still a mystery.
I don't understand what you said.
How did the snatch theft happen?
Oh! Listen up!
That day the bastard--
I was furious!
You're such an asshole!
I curse your family!
You're not formidable.
I will cut your dick off!
Damn it! You harmed me so seriously.
I will harm your family!
I will cut your dick off!
Look at yourself!
I've warned you many times.
Don't carry a handbag.
I'm a girl, okay?
I have to carry a handbag.
Oh! Girls must carry handbags?
Girls must carry handbags.
Especially for pretty girls.
Handbags are necessity, okay?
Are you pretty?
I am, okay?
You're hurt so badly. I want to do something for you!
What can you do?
I want to form a special force.
Don't make use of my snatch theft case
to form your voluntary service team
or security guard and what not.
Listen, this duty belongs to the police,
not you, okay?
What is life without dreams?
Dream when you sleep!
Aren't you listening?
I already printed the leaflets!
SPECIAL FORCES, RECRUITING ELITES
You don't even have the budget for printing.
Don't embarrass yourself!
I got these for free!
I didn't pay a cent!
I hire you to work, not to read comics!
Have you cleaned the toilet?
Why do you always ask me to clean the toilet?
So you want me to do that?
Go now!
Hold on!
Marco is out there, help him out!
Marco, let me help you.
Why are you so slow?
You work as slow as a turtle.
Useless thing! Never works properly!
You think you're handsome in this pose?
I'll punch you for this! Go back and work!
Bro, please join the Special Forces.
Miss, please join the Special Forces.
Auntie, please join the Special Forces.
Miss, please join the Special Forces.
What the heck? Don't throw it, even if you don't want it!
Uncle, give me this.
Give me this.
You want to join the Special Forces?
No.
I've been looking for paper.
I stepped on dog's poop.
What the heck?
You used it to clean the poop?
I can return it.
Keep it!
Take all these to clean dog's poop!
-Thank you. -Crazy guy.
Uncle, is this yours?
No way, Auntie. You want to join the Special Forces?
Screw it!
You're littering everywhere at my place. Didn't you notice?
I can't do business in such a dirty place!
This is my shop! Don't you know that?
Why must you distribute leaflets here?
No one wants them! You're littering!
Are you uneducated? Your mother never taught you
about civic consciousness?
Hey! I'm talking to you!
Are you uneducated? Your mother never taught you that?
Cut it out!
Wake up!
-You have no civic consciousness. -Alright. Sorry.
Who do you think you are?
Hey! I want to rob you! Give me your money!
What the heck? You're more handsome and rich than me!
-You want to rob me? -Cut the crap!
-Hurry up! -All right! Don't hurt my face!
-Don't hurt my face! -Hurry up!
My face is the moneymaker!
Here you go.
Hurry up!
Hold on!
Here.
What the heck? Only one dollar notes!
How poor are you?
You are robbing me, how dare you say that?
I have more!
Uncle.
Why did you give him money?
Uncle?
I'm not that old.
You're obviously old.
Hey! You're the uncle!
Call me Mister!
Fine! Mr. Uncle!
I better save my breath!
You're so stupid to give him your money.
Didn't you see his knife?
What if he scratched my face?
Don't you see my handsome face?
You're not alone. You can shout.
Someone will help you out.
It's no longer the good old days. Help?
They'd only use their mobiles to take videos
and upload them on Facebook.
Help me? My face would've been scratched by then.
Never mind. Pass this leaflet to your son.
‎Ask him to join the Special Forces.
Son? I'm not married yet. I'm still a virgin.
Save your breath. Just pass this to your son.
I don't have any son! Hey!
This is our responsibility.
We have to work together
to ensure the safety of everyone.
If you want to change society,
you have to put in the effort.
We can't rely on one single person.
All of us have to involve ourselves to change.
We need courage!
Uncle, are you talking to the air?
Brat, mind your own business.
Uncle, don't waste your time. No one will come.
You're just a kid. You know nothing.
I'm a kid, but I'm better than you.
An old man who keeps dreaming.
Fatty, you think you're smart, don't you?
Surely smarter than you!
If you're so smart, answer this question.
What do you call your dad's mom's sister's aunt's daughter's dad's uncle's grandson?
A relative!
Even a three-year-old can answer that!
Fool, stupid, idiot!
You're a bad boy, fatty. Let me teach you a lesson.
You want to bully me?
Who's bullying my baby boy?
SPECIAL FORCES, RECRUITING ELITES
Uncle.
Don't pretend you're so busy.
There is no fly around here.
I thought you said
your FBI will gather here.
Your Superman, Powerman,
Superwoman and Catwoman, where are they?
Where are they?
No one is here.
I've told you so!
People nowadays won't give a helping hand.
The community is hopeless.
They're indeed Special Forces.
Uncle, good luck. This is an eyesore.
I'm happy to have talent like you
join the Special Forces.
We'll become the heroes of this village.
Let's eradicate the villains and protect the world!
Wow! Well said!
-Calm down. Sit down. -Come on, applause!
Is there any special discount for Special Forces?
I can give you a salted fish.
Let's introduce ourselves.
You go first.
Well, let's start with you.
Me? Fine!
Hi everyone, I'm Lulu.
I came here to find some cute boys.
-Hi, Lulu. -My turn.
I'm Long. I sell wonton noodles over there.
I came here
to pay my respect to my idol, Arnold Sushi Nugget.
Sushi? So he's Japanese?
Not Japanese.
He's a man from the future.
Sushi and nugget, are you so hungry?
It's Arnold Schwarzenegger, dumbo!
That's how I pronounced it. Arnold Sushi Nugget!
You're dumb!
Lulu? Dumb Lulu!
Hi everyone, I'm Han.
The third heir to the Guolin Martial Arts Center.
My hobby is fighting.
So I join you. Hopefully I'll have a chance to fight.
Sick man of East Asia, I want to wipe you out today!
Daikon head, my gloves are off!
Enough!
What are you doing?
Sorry, I got into my character.
It's my turn.
why I want to join this team.
My idol Chow Yunfat once said,
"I won't let anyone hold a gun to my head again."
What does this have to do with us?
Actually nothing.
I like Chow Yunfat.
Ladies and gentlemen, four Aces!
Are you done yet? It's my turn.
Hi everyone, I'm Nelson Tan.
-Nelson Tan. -Birds lay eggs?
Nelson Tan.
-Birds lay eggs. -Nelson Tan.
-Birds lay eggs. -Nelson Tan！
Birds lay eggs!
Fine, I'm done with this!
You're uneducated. You don't understand English.
Let me tell you
how many pretty girls fell for me because of my name.
Enough!
-I haven't started yet! -But it's enough!
Violence occurs everywhere in modern society.
Robbery, murder, kidnap and even rape.
We need more heroes to deal with the villains.
Like Avengers?
Yes, we're avengers.
We're seven samurais.
Seven?
Do you see something invisible?
Whatever.
Let's start our training now.
Now?
Yes. Strike while the iron is hot.
From now on, we're the Special Forces!
This is our first training.
What matters most is to bear the pain.
You're fearless once you can bear the pain.
What should we do?
Firstly, get a weapon.
And hit the person beside you.
Start from me.
Be gentle and slow.
This is just a training. My face is my moneymaker.
We're good friends. You don't have to hit so hard.
How dare you betray me?
Betray me!
One thing I hate the most,
is others' betrayal.
But they always try to piss me off.
I'm a businessman.
I always oppose violence.
Mr. Lu, it's my fault.
Dad!
Mr. Lu, it's my fault.
Please forgive me.
You should know well
the consequences of betraying me.
I know.
I'll take the responsibility.
Please punish me and let my daughter off.
Isn't it too late
to apologize now?
Mr. Lu, it's my fault.
Please forgive me.
Kang.
Hua needs some women
-for his massage parlor, doesn't he? -Yes, boss.
Dad!
No way!
Come! Come with me!
Mr. Lu, let my daughter off.
Sorry, it's my fault, Mr. Lu.
Let my daughter off. I'm sorry, Mr. Lu.
Mr. Lu.
Let my daughter off.
I'm sorry, Mr. Lu!
Boss, they're here.
Here you are.
Any news?
We found her.
What?
You found her?
She's in a small town, but there're many cops.
It's just an easy job for you.
Your price is higher,
but it's worth it.
Boss, they use swords.
They don't even have guns.
I wonder which is faster.
My gun or his sword?
Guns are for cowards.
Great!
Pao, keep your gun.
You're something.
Come, sit here.
Pao.
Bring your men along to learn from him.
Yes, boss.
God won't mistreat the kind-hearted, right?
Come on. Sit down.
Let's eat together.
Our heroic story began when we joined the Special Forces.
Mighty!
But we have no chance to be heroes.
We help the elderly to cross the roads.
And do community service.
Sweeping.
Wiping windows.
We also do exercise with the elderly.
Look!
Auntie, are you cleaning up the area?
Let me help you.
-The bag is broken! Sorry! -Brat!
-You're not helping! -It broke by itself! Sorry!
Wow, that pretty girl moved here two weeks ago.
No wonder we've never seen her.
She's going to pay. Let me do this.
Leave here, let me do it!
Hey! What are you doing?
You're hardworking only when you see pretty girls!
-No. -Have you cleaned the toilet?
No, too.
Go ahead!
Hey, Marco.
What do you want?
Can you help me?
With what?
Tell Han to meet at Angel Park at eight o'clock tonight.
I need to talk to him.
But don't mention about me.
You'll figure it out!
Just don't mention about me, okay?
Han, Lulu just asked me
to ask you go to Angel Park at eight o'clock tonight.
And she asked me not to tell you that she's the one asking you.
-Ask what? -Lulu just asked me
to ask you go to Angel Park at eight o'clock tonight.
And she asked me not to tell you that I'm the one asking you.
Hey! Are you blind? Watch out!
I'm blind. Sorry, I'm blind.
Your money! Your change!
I caught the smell of killers from them.
No, I farted, so it smells.
How stupid you are!
Taking the smell of a fart as the smell of a killer.
You! Bitch!
Master, how is it?
As you said, no guns, right?
You're strong. You don't need so many men.
Listen,
all of us guard the entrance.
Show us your ability, let's go!
What's the matter? It's so dark and empty.
I have to go on patrol.
What's wrong with Lulu?
I think Lulu fell for you.
The wind is chilly.
-It's so scary! -Ghost!
You know you're masculine
I melt when I see you
My heart beats so fast when I gaze at you
So my love is stolen
Give me more love
Look at me, I'll love you more
Look at your eyes, you're indeed masculine
More romance, more flowers
Please?
I look more beautiful when I smile
Just more!
Come on
Who threw that at my head?
I hate it when someone sings songs like a monkey!
We've cut off the network circuit in this area.
No one can reach the outside world.
Master, everything is ready.
You can handle the cops alone, can't you?
After that, we'll take care of the rest.
Han!
Where's Han?
Don't always disturb him. He's busy.
You always disturb him.
Cut the crap!
Han!
-Come with me! -What's wrong?
Pao,
he's killed all the cops.
Great, let us deal with the rest.
But the girl...
she ran away.
What? Ran away?
Get her!
Listen up!
Go to the entrance.
You're back. How's the patrol tonight?
How?
As usual!
The villagers asked us to find their lost chickens
or stop their dog from fucking another dog.
I joined the Special Forces to become a hero
like my idol Arnold Sushi Nugget.
Now I'm everything but a hero. I feel like--
Help, someone's after me!
What happened? Who is it?
They want to kill me!
You're so pretty.
They won't do that. Everyone likes you.
Who are they?
It's none of your business!
Who do you think you are?
Look at yourselves,
useless creatures!
I've never seen such a useless old man as you.
Brat, what do you want?
Give me the girl, then I'll spare your lives.
Please, don't do that.
Brat, we can discuss this.
I'll count to three.
I want all of you to disappear by then.
One--
Two, three. I can do that! Everyone can count to three.
Even a three-year-old!
You want to be a hero?
Let's have some fun.
Han, you said your hobby is fighting.
Now's your chance. Show us!
Go!
You're right.
Wow! Cool!
Let's stay away from this!
No worries. He's the worst fighter among us.
We're the real kung fu masters.
Let me protect you!
-I can take care of myself. -She doesn't need you. Get away!
-I'll protect you. -I'll do it!
-She doesn't need you! -No! Neither of you!
Don't you need to get some help?
We're the helpers!
Fuck!
You bastards, useless creatures! How dare you piss me off?
Mister, you're on your own now!
You're screwed!
Do you know who I am? You must be courting death!
This is strange. Are you waiting for me?
What the hell are they doing?
The lesson of the day is never stand behind a door.
Because you never know what will happen next.
Let's take a look.
Han, you killed the man!
I wasn't the one who opened the door!
Maybe he just passed out.
Hold on!
What are you doing?
It stinks!
I can't stand the smell of my own sock!
So if a person has no reaction smelling it,
he's dead.
Hey, it looks yellowish.
Sorry, I've been wearing it for three weeks.
He's really dead!
He has no reaction! He's dead!
What the hell are you doing?
Auntie, you killed a man!
What?
Stay overnight with your grandaunt. It's not safe here. Go!
You killed a man? Me... what?
You did that. You should deal with it!
Don't blame it on me!
Who are you? Who are they?
My name is Tingting.
They work for the rich man, Mr. Lu.
How are you related?
My father worked in his company.
He wanted to quit,
but Mr. Lu didn't allow him.
Then something happened.
The police wanted my dad to testify against Mr. Lu.
So he wants to threaten my dad with my life.
The police sent me to the safe house here.
I can only go home after the trial next week.
But now my whereabouts are exposed.
You mean the rich man on the news everyday?
Yes, that's him.
We're dead men!
Thank you for your help.
I think I'd better leave now. I don't want to implicate you.
Let me call the police.
There's no signal.
-Indeed. -No signal.
Let me try the phone.
Hello?
No sound.
The phone isn't working, either.
It seems they cut off the network circuit here.
Cut off the network circuit? Is that possible?
He can pay to get whatever he wants.
Let us discuss this.
Now it's your chance to be a hero.
Are you scared? A hero never feels scared.
We don't look like heroes at all!
I don't want to be involved, or I'll be killed. No way!
You just complained about this, but now you shrink back.
I thought you wanted to be a hero.
Birds lay eggs, make it clear. I didn't put it that way.
I said I wanted to become a hero.
I don't care. We must help the girl. We can't leave her alone.
-All of us? -Yes, all of us.
All right. Let's help her together.
But the nearest police station is in the other village.
So are we going...
Okay, let's take her to the police station together.
Then we're done.
Where is Lulu?
There she is.
What the heck? Haven't you seen a woman before?
Your nose bleeds because of her?
So sorry.
I ate too much asam laksa.
It's hot.
Okay, now get your weapons.
No, I have my sword.
You want to kill people?
It's not sharpened. It can neither kill
nor harm anyone.
Take this.
How about me?
Take this.
Wow! So huge? Is this a letter opener?
You can return it.
Better than nothing.
Let's go!
I already cut off their network circuit.
They can't contact any outsider now.
Great. We only have to search this town for her.
Hey, master!
Even you couldn't catch her?
I'm so disappointed in you, master.
Bro, Kang and his men were killed!
What? Who did that?
A gang of uncles.
A gang of uncles?
Are you kidding me?
Master.
Since you failed, let me teach you a lesson.
Those busybodies!
I'll show them the consequences
of being busybodies!
Now you guys
divide into two teams.
One team search for the gang.
Another team stay here.
Guard the entrance.
Don't let any of them escape!
My mobile has no signal!
There is no signal at all. Didn't you ask anyone about it?
Can't you see that we're busy now?
-Settle it yourself! -Get going.
You search that way!
You search the back!
So many of them! What should we do?
Never mind. Hit everyone you meet with this.
Me?
Of course, you're so handsome. Go ahead!
I'm scared!
No worries, we'll cover you at the back.
What? At the back?
Cover me in the front!
It's better for us to stay at the back.
I'm scared!
Of what? Light up!
Not this. I mean the fire in your heart.
I'm scared!
Uncle, let me deal with him.
Take this and fight them!
Damn it! Cover me?
No one's here!
Great that you helped.
Don't feel scared.
We have more people than him.
What are you scared of?
This is our village.
All villagers are supporting us.
You better leave now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Look at that.
And that.
They're indeed the elites!
I've no time to play with you.
Get away, old folks!
Leave the girl alone.
Are you stupid?
Didn't you hear me?
All right.
I'll take your lives one by one.
No one can leave here.
We're not afraid of you.
We're the Special Forces.
We have more men than you.
We're not scared!
More people?
I said nothing just now.
Now I'm scared.
Why are you so noisy?
It's so late now! Stop making so much noise!
Are you filming?
Such an old fashioned outfit!
Who gave you the filming permit?
Answer me! Do you know you're noisy?
Very noisy!
Fuck it! Where is this bitch from?
Bitch?
You little brat!
Old fashioned?
Filming?
Little brat?
Bitch! Little brat?
Filming permit?
Old fashioned?
One more chance!
Han, you got this!
We have to leave.
Running away?
Deal with them!
What are you doing? Run with them!
I don't understand what he was talking about.
Look after yourself!
Okay, you got this.
Tiger. Dragon.
Cat.
Mantis.
Leopard.
Is he dead?
Wow, so many of them.
Let's go!
Kung fu.
Why are you coming back?
Aren't you taking her to the police station?
They blocked the town exit.
Shit, what should we do?
I know another way out.
We can use that to bring Tingting to the police.
Lure the tiger out of the mountains!
Lure the tiger out of the mountains?
So we have to divide into two teams?
One of the teams must die?
Han, lead one team to lure the villains away.
Lulu, you're the only girl.
Disguise as Tingting and leave with Han.
Then I'm dead!
But I can go with Han.
That's enough for this team.
No, we need one more man in their team.
How disloyal you are!
What should we do?
CHENGJI WAREHOUSE
Why is mine so long?
Fuck, don't think that you can escape from me.
I'll catch you!
Bro, there they are!
Go get them!
Go!
They're after us. We're dead!
Let's run!
Hey, stay there!
Shit!
We're besieged!
But to you,
it's a piece of cake!
Fight them.
I'm afraid they'll beat us.
Protect Lulu.
Three of them are strong!
Maybe we should try the other side.
We have no choice. Come on!
Run!
It's clear!
Lure the tiger out of the mountains, smart!
Even though it's an old method, it's practical.
Uncle, you're so smart!
I have more experience than them.
Those brats are stupid.
What the heck?
Is he standing behind me?
No one's here.
It doesn't happen like a movie plot.
I'm not behind you, but in front of you, idiot!
Sorry, run!
Hey, where is he?
Get them!
Where are they?
It's not possible.
Don't move!
Drop your weapons,
or I'll kill him!
Uncle, this is just a toy.
Stop kidding me!
Hurry up!
Drop your weapons!
Else, I'll kill your brother the way I kill a chicken!
Drop it!
Ah! It hurts!
-Drop your weapons! -Hurry up!
Hurry up!
Uncle, you dropped something.
Just kidding!
How can I kill you with a toy spatula?
Everyone,
sorry, it's just a misunderstanding.
He wants to cook something for you.
You must be tired, running here and there.
So we want to repay your hard work.
You shouldn't do that.
Why did you put a spatula to his neck?
Let's go back to the kitchen.
I'm done playing with you!
It's my turn to teach you a lesson.
You said you're a kung fu master.
That's right!
-Right, you said that! -I forgot!
Watch carefully.
Fatty fighting skill!
Go to hell!
Long, he needs help.
Where is your weapon?
Don't hit me!
Wow! Girls nowadays are so violent!
They're not after us.
Waiter, a large portion of egg noodles.
You're still in the mood to eat?
Relax.
Who is this?
Why are you doing this?
Marco, deal with anyone I miss.
Deal with anyone you miss?
You?
Wow, Han is so masculine!
All kung fu techniques can be countered except speed.
You're good at using a sword.
Drop your sword
and fight again!
Marco, take this.
Luckily I have good skill and reactions.
Who are you?
How could you counter my technique?
Are you the legendary kung fu master
who beat the South Gang of Malacca?
You're nearly dead.
A lot of men are coming.
Let's go!
Hey, stay there!
Wow, so many of them!
They're in trouble!
We have no choice. Let's escort Tingting out.
Hold on!
I wonder how they're doing.
You have a walkie-talkie. Contact them!
You always call me Dumb Lulu. You're the real dumbass.
You brought us here, dumbass!
Your name is Lulu, so I call you that.
I was muddled running here and there.
Hey, how are you?
Fine. Marco brought us in the wrong direction!
Don't bother us. Be careful.
A beauty!
Go ahead, we'll protect you at the back.
Showtime!
Dinosaur fist!
Dinosaur fist?
It hurts!
Dinosaur fist?
What should we do?
It's my turn now!
Thank you for giving me a chance to become a hero.
Thank you!
Hey, any last words?
Yes.
I never kissed before.
Can I...
I don't like boys. I like girls.
Uncle Ming, I'm not talking to you!
Tingting.
Hey! Stop kidding!
Go ahead!
-Leave with Tingting! -All right.
It doesn't hurt!
There they are again.
-Ready. -For what?
-Leave with Lulu. -Okay.
Your opponent is here.
I can beat you on my own.
Han!
People nowadays only care for themselves.
No one is willing to help when somebody needs it.
Then why do you help me?
To change the community,
we must first change ourselves.
Let's go!
No worries.
It seems I have to use my last resort.
Last resort?
Foshan Invisible Fist!
Hello?
Is there anyone? Can you hear us?
No response. What should we do?
Why did they go?
Maybe they escaped safely.
Maybe they're all captured.
Stop being a hero!
The girl was captured.
How about the others?
They're defeated. We knew it!
Do you really think you're the heroes?
Let them take the girl away.
Let's go back to our normal lives.
If everyone thinks like you,
our community will be hopeless.
Everyone refuses to give a helping hand.
It leads to our community today.
It'll be too late.
They gathered at the town exit just now.
Perhaps they're still there.
Alright. I'll go there alone.
-You stay here. -No way.
Let me help you.
We share our happiness and suffering.
What should I do if you go alone?
You can both go.
I haven't built my family yet.
That's right!
Your own safety is what matters most.
Take care of yourself!
Let me tell you why I want to join this team.
My idol Chow Yunfat once said,
"I won't let anyone hold a gun to my head again."
I like Chow Yunfat.
We need more heroes to deal with the villains.
Like Avengers?
Yes, we're avengers.
From now on, we're the Special Forces!
But I feel very righteous. When I stay with them,
I feel like I'm Chow Yunfat.
Old man!
You're not dead yet?
You can handle it alone.
They're nobodies.
Lulu and I can deal with this.
Be careful.
Marco, you really don't need my help?
Don't be so fussy!
-Let her go! -I can't believe there is a master
in this small town.
Come if you want to save her.
Your sword isn't sharpened and you want a fight?
No way.
Watch out!
No!
Boss, sorry. Our mission failed!
It's really something! Look,
we're in all the newspapers!
Look how handsome I am!
Especially in this photo!
And this one, look!
All of us did a great job.
So we'll only meet again after new year?
Let's drink!
Cheers!
Help, someone wants to kill me!
Wow, it's huge!
It's hard to deal with that.
I don't see anything.
Do you see anything?
No! Nothing!
Why doesn't anyone come to help me?
It's so large. Don't you see that?
Let's go home!
Subtitle translation by Siew Lim Choy