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I want to start by saying that my client is a man.
A good man.
A father...
An exceptional father.
A great dad. Just a great dad, you know?
The kind of father who plays with his kid, a great dad.
And still, Your Honor,
it surprises me
that this woman is doing the injustice
of separating a son from his father.
That's right. What a wordsmith.
My lawyer has such talent. He is very special indeed.
And now, she wants to take my son
to San Francisco, but not our São Francisco
with the handicraft stores.
- It's in the United States of America. - Yes, I know.
So you think your son is better off
living in the back room of this pizzeria here.
"Mamma Rita Pizzeria."
- Mammary what? - Please.
Have some decorum. Order!
Sorry, you're the one who says order.
This is an Italian pizzeria.
"Mamma," from the Italian, mamma. Mother.
And the pizzeria
belongs to my client's parents.
That place is a madhouse.
Father, mother, sister,
dog, parrot, pepperoni, everyone's always shouting, yelling.
Jonas needs to be in a place that's more--
Objection!
- Listen. - Yes.
I'm only putting up with this madness
because I'm curious to see where this is heading.
All right. I'm sorry, Your Honor. May I approach the bench?
- No. - Okay, I won't get too close.
I thought that the dynamic I've created would be interesting.
Me making my own defense, since I know the case so well.
And my client being the wonderful person I am, right?
Please, Mr. Michelle.
- It's not Michelle. - It's written here.
It's not Michelle.
It's an Italian name, "Mi-ke-le."
In Italian,
"CH" is pronounced like a "K," so it's Michele with a K, not Michelle.
People thought I was married to a woman, which would've been better.
A woman wouldn't keep asking if she could help me at home.
"Can I help?" As if it was helping!
- You keep complaining... - Order!
- Order. - This is turning into a joke.
This ends now. Enough. I've made up my mind.
You will rule
in favor of a father not being separated from his child.
Yes, Your Honor. A father who is suffering, crying.
In favor of this father, this man,
this family man,
not being kept from his son.
I beg you.
No, we're here to defend the good and to maintain order, always.
Thank you, Counselor Michele.
No problem, Michele. It's a pleasure to defend you. Please, your verdict.
Please inform your client
or yourself... I don't even know anymore.
You have six months
to move with your child
to a better place.
And since she gave her career up to give you a little "help" at home,
you're responsible for all expenses from now on.
- All of them? - The child support is set at 7,000 reais.
Seven thousand reais?
Did you see that? I have no tolerance for that.
- Dad! - Hi, my beautiful boy.
- So how was it? - It's all screwed up.
But we have more important things to worry about, right?
- Like what? - Like... Palmeiras!
- They qualified for the Libertadores Cup! - Come on, Dad. I'm a Corinthian.
- Don't do the dance. - I must get back to the pizzeria.
Okay, let's go.
- Dad, this is yours. - Thanks.
There's something in there for you to help me with.
"Ms. Michelle Barbieri."
My name is Michele, "Mi-ke-le." People just can't get it right.
- Michele is a man's name. - Is it?
Not as manly as Fabrizio, but it is a man's name.
It's a letter that I want to send to a girl.
Son, do you see those men?
The FBI guys?
No, they're TOP guys.
From the best law firm in the country.
When I'm a TOP guy, your mother will never fu...
- Grow up, Michele. - ...fill my heart with love.
- Hi. How are you? - Yeah, right. Let's go, son.
- Hi. How are you? - Hi, Virgínia.
Good luck.
- Don't forget the letter, Dad! - Okay.
That's right, Fred, keep flirting with her.
Thank God, the old man isn't here yet.
- Get in here. - Hey.
Don't speak.
Why are you closing the blinds? Are you going to touch me up?
I want to tell you something.
If it's about the "Brilhante" song case, don't worry. I'm on it.
I'll get it done today.
By the way, about that.
Listen.
What's with the kisses?
Stop. Please don't... Dear God.
- Shake that butt. - Mr. Miranda, for God's sake!
I knew this would happen.
Damn, Mr. Miranda. First, I'm glad you're alive.
I'm okay.
Second, some things can't be unseen, Mr. Miranda.
I want to tell you something.
Tertúlio Otacílio Pacheco,
the law firm,
is buying us out.
They already did.
The FBI guys? I mean, the TOP guys?
Yeah, didn't you want to be a TOP guy? Tertúlio Otacílio Pacheco.
Now, you get to be one.
Congratulations! But it's a secret. Don't tell anyone.
Please, you know me. Of course I won't tell anyone.
Feel free to applaud me.
Because now your son works
for one of the best law firms in the country, TOP.
- Now, I'm a TOP guy. - That's great.
Wonderful. But does that mean you won't work at the pizzeria anymore?
Don't talk crazy. I haven't worked here in ten years.
The last time I served a pizza, Patrizia was still called Fabrizio.
Hey, Mike, deadname me one more time
and I'll break your teeth.
Sorry, I didn't see you there. By the way, Dad,
why didn't you call me Fabrizio
and name her Michele? People wouldn't call me Michelle.
She'd be Michelle and I'd be Fabrizio.
- You don't like your name? - It's a bit shit.
Fine. I'll take the Michele pizza off the menu.
- No. - Do it. And please remove mine as well.
What were you thinking, Dad? Naming pizzas after your kids?
The whole neighborhood talks about eating Patrizia.
- And I got stuck with pepperoni. - Stop it.
- Bambino, congratulations. - Mamma.
You're smart. You deserve to make a lot of money.
I'll make plenty of money.
Buckets of money, a fortune. I'll make so much money.
I'll buy you and Dad a house.
I'll buy my son a house. I'll buy Patrizia a house.
No, you don't need to buy me anything. Just clear out my dressing room.
Dressing room? You mean that mess you left?
Mike, stop it. Those clothes have sentimental value.
They were an important part of my life.
They're old, for God's sake.
Are you going back to doing Samanta Laser Beam shows?
As if I actually danced like that.
I love this family.
- Let's eat some pizza. - Yeah, let's eat.
Fab, grab me a Coke please.
Therefore, with our "It's a Woman's World" program...
- Where were you? We're screwed. - Small bladder. I had to spend a penny.
We're not screwed. We're winning. Listen, TOP is acquiring us.
- We're TOP guys now. - TOP?
Awesome.
Our firm will be the first in the country
to have parity between men and women in our workforce.
Cool. I don't really know what that means, but equality is good.
Tomorrow, all women will receive a call to schedule the signing of the contract.
It's a Woman's World, after all.
- Cool. That's cool. - Congratulations.
Nice. Very cool. Mr. TOP.
What? What is it?
- What about the guys, the men? - Us.
We haven't forgotten about you.
All right! I knew it. We are damn good lawyers.
All men
will receive a form...
Yes, of course, we have to fill out a form to include our birthdays--
- With instructions... - Instructions. This isn't a circus--
...regarding the ethical dismissal plan.
- What? - Via WhatsApp.
- Dismissal? - TOP.
No. Wait. Mr. Miranda!
What about what you said to me in your office?
NOW HIRING - PET SITTER ELECTRIC RACKET TESTER
CEMETERY CARETAKER DOG HOTEL
JANITOR
Again. "Ms. Michelle Barbieri."
For God's sake. I can't take this anymore.
- I don't want to upgrade my internet plan. - Michelle Barbieri?
- Fuck! Fuck you, you fucking-- - Do you know Michelle?
I have a message from Tertúlio Otacílio Pacheco Law Firm.
Take your message and--
SAMANTA LASER BEAM
Michelle is not available right now. Can I help you?
Ms. Michelle Barbieri is invited to the office tomorrow morning
for her relocation to the new company.
You want Michelle?
- I'll give you Michelle. - Sir? Are you still there?
Of course. Michelle will be there first thing tomorrow
to sign the papers, okay?
Let's see...
This one.
Gosh.
Her shoes.
Excuse me.
Excuse--
Come here.
Yes, you. Come here. Hi, how are you?
What's up?
Are you crazy?
- It's me. Mike. - What?
- Mike! What are you doing? - I'm dressed like this to keep my job.
Hey, that's genius. I hadn't thought of that.
I won't sign the papers. Tomorrow, I'll come in my aunt's clothes.
- Corset and all-- - Don't be stupid.
They mistook my name for a woman's name, all right?
If I get fired, Virgínia will take my son away. I can't lose this job.
Will you be a woman forever?
Of course not, dude. Meritocracy, buddy. Listen up.
I'll show them I'm an amazing lawyer, the best,
and they'll have to put up with me, even as a man.
What are you looking at?
Are you wearing panties?
Is that a question you ask a lady? Please. I have to go, I'm late.
A thong. And I shaved all over.
Hey. Sorry, I--
Apologies. Sorry for the delay.
Welcome.
We were waiting for you to start the meeting.
Nice to meet you. You didn't have to wait.
- Nice to meet you. - Mrs. or Miss?
Counselor Michelle Barbieri, please.
- Nice to meet you. - Likewise.
Nice to meet you, Counselor. This is Otávio--
Michelle is one of the women from our merger.
It came at a great time, by the way.
The office was full of men. We needed more pretty faces.
She was handling the "Brilhante" song case at the old firm,
and I wanted to bring her here,
so she could share some information with the person handling the case now.
Very well.
The song "Brilhante" by this superstar, MC Mone--
Tasty.
What did you say?
Tasty water.
Right. So, MC Mone is the owner of the song titled "Brilhante."
However, an aerobics gym instructor
claims to be the original author of this song.
So, what is my line of reasoning in this case?
I suggest we look for evidence
that the song existed prior to his claims
to thus prove MC Mone's authorship.
- Great line of reasoning-- - Wait a minute.
What if we found evidence that the song existed prior to his claims
to prove MC Mone's authorship of the song "Brilhante"?
- Data venia. - Huh? Right?
Counselor JP!
You are truly an amazing lawyer.
Oh, stop it.
Hold on. Is there an echo in here?
Because I believe that's exactly what I just said.
- Isn't that exactly what I said? - Ladies, please, focus. Girls.
Counselor, please. Continue.
Yes, well,
the alleged author--
Oh, it's stuck.
He claims that he used to sing
the chorus of the song "Brilhante."
And he told the press.
- Oh, sorry. - Well...
Otávio and I will decide the next steps in this case moving forward.
- Right, Counselor Otávio? - Data venia, Counselor. We got this.
I'm sorry, but in the case of this case,
referring to this case, in this case, the case is mine.
This case
is no longer yours.
This is yours.
Want to play squash?
- Squash. - What are you...
- This is outrageous. - Did you really believe it?
This bullshit about parity between men and women?
Equal pay? Forget it.
- Is it your first day as a woman? - In a way.
- What? - What?
Well, if you think you can blow your own horn...
I can. My horn has never let me down.
Then talk to the boss.
You think I should talk to Jorge Pedro?
I'm talking about the bosses' boss.
Mr. Tertúlio Otacílio Pacheco. That's him there.
They say that about 12 years ago, he suffered a trauma and went nuts.
- He went cuckoo? - Yes. We can't even talk to him.
He's always upstairs, isolated in his office.
So you want me to talk to Mr. Looney Tunes,
who is enjoying his retirement
inside his sarcophagus?
You want me to go up there and complain about stuff? No way.
I haven't even bought a coffee with my meal voucher yet. There's no way.
If you won't say something,
I will.
- Julia, it won't work. - Yes, it will.
No, it won't. What are you doing?
I'll tell Mr. Pacheco that you could win this case,
but we'll lose because that idiot Jorge Pedro
can't listen to someone not wearing boxers.
But I'm wearing box-- I mean, I'm wearing a thong, girl.
- I'll talk to him. - No, you won't-- Girl!
Trust me, girl. It will all work out.
It's better if you go alone since you know the case, okay? It'll work.
Julia.
Can you bring those documents, please?
Are you okay, Suzana?
I'm great.
You're not Suzana.
No, but you can call me Suzana if you want. Call me whatever.
- No one comes into my office. - That's a shame. It's a beautiful office.
- So spacious, so pretty. - I'm not following this joke.
- Do you work here? - No.
- You don't? - I do.
What about you?
I don't work. I don't want to, and I resent those who do.
Okay. Too bad. Right then.
Your phone.
Oh, thank you.
You know what?
Are you still here?
I'm here and I'm not leaving, just so you know.
Mr. TOP, I have something to tell you, straight to your face.
What were you thinking
when you decided to lock yourself in here all alone?
You haven't even combed your hair. It's all over the place.
And that's a shame because you built this empire.
One of the best law firms in the country.
And you're here, sharpening pencils with a razor blade?
Meanwhile, there are innocent people out there
with no one to defend them in court.
We need people like you, Mr. Pacheco.
I have a friend who's a life coach. I'll give you his number.
Can I borrow your pencil?
Jesus, this pencil is horrible. Let's sharpen it a little.
I'm very sorry, that must have been a lot of work.
Are you feeling-- Oh, no.
Are you having a moment? You don't look very well.
Let me help you.
Iurisperiti munus est...
- And you're back. - ...veritatem coram.
Societate revelare!
- So? How did it go? - Wow, so great.
We're friends now. We're even texting each other.
- Really? - Of course not.
It was terrible. He hated it.
I told you it was a bad idea.
Come on, Michelle.
Worst case, Mr. Pacheco stays where he is.
- That's all. - I doubt it.
- Jesus fucking Christ. Hey! - Calm down.
Mr. Pacheco, what a lovely surprise.
Aren't you supposed to be in your office, working on your crafts?
I crafted all his crafts.
Iurisperiti munus est
veritatem coram societate revelare.
That's a spiritual obsession,
but I'm a bit of a medium if you'll allow me to cleanse you.
You got in, now get out. If you're good, stay. If you're bad, go away.
It's gone.
"It is the lawyer's role to reveal
the truth to the eyes of society." It's Latin.
If you spoke normally, everyone would understand you.
Jorge Pedro, tell me something.
What is the firm's most important case at the moment?
The authorship dispute over the song "Brilhante," without a doubt.
- Counselor Otávio and I are handling it. - Data venia. That is correct.
I want you to include this young woman in this case.
Counselor Michelle Barbieri.
But Mr. Pacheco, Michelle has no experience.
But I think she will be very helpful.
She has something better than experience.
She has... How should I put it?
- She has balls. - What?
What is that?
- She's making a heart with her hands. - Not that.
Mr. Pacheco, may I invite
my colleague, Julia, to work on this case with us?
If you think she will be helpful, why not?
- Do you mind, Jorge Pedro? - No! Of course not, Mr. Pacheco.
I believe that they will both bring a certain sparkle to the case.
Of course, especially since this office is in need of...
- Pretty faces. - Pretty faces, yes.
Very well.
Hey, girl, that's great.
I don't know how this happened,
but consider yourselves welcome.
I just want to remind you of one thing.
I'm still in charge.
Got it?
- Got it. - Yeah. Sure.
Thank you.
- Data venia, Counselor Otávio. - Exactly.
For fuck's sake.
- There you go. - I'll show you.
- Show me. - Seven of diamonds.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. - Hi.
Bambino, you don't look very well.
You look paler than uncovered mozzarella.
What are you talking about? This boy fills me with pride.
He is a working machine.
He's the only one who works, right? No one even notices the workhorse here.
Oh, my beautiful Patrizia.
I know you work hard too.
But Michele is my manly son.
Holy stuffed meatballs, give me patience or I'll kill someone.
Hey, meatball.
Where are those clothes that used to be in my room?
- I donated them, Mike. - Shit.
Weren't you always complaining about them? I gave them away.
Especially because I no longer had a reason to keep fake breasts and wigs.
I have natural hair now.
- Why are you asking? - No reason.
- I think there was a suit there... - What suit, Mike?
You've never owned anything other than this old suit for rejected congressmen.
Wow, pale mozzarella, rejected congressman... I'm doing great in here.
- Hi, girl. How are you? - Hi.
BRILHANTE IS OURS
Girl, what are you wearing?
A congressman's suit.
We will now begin the first hearing of the case
in which the singer MC Mone
is accused by Mr. Guido da Silva
of having stolen the authorship
of the so-called hit song "Brilhante."
The prosecuting attorney has the floor.
- This is it. - Go for it.
Your Honor, as stated in the records,
my client has been using this song in his power aerobics classes
at the Jacked Aerobics Gym
long before MC Mone released her song.
No.
And I can prove it.
We have this video as evidence.
Please.
Please, that's ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
I can't believe you stole my chorus to make this crap.
- Is that right, you crook? - Get a grip!
We can clearly see
that the song sung by MC Mone
is the one sung by my client...
...in this video from 2012.
Now, MC Mone
only released her song
in 2022.
That is all, Your Honor.
- That is all. - Thank you.
I now turn the floor over
to the defense attorney, please.
We are either faced
with an overwhelming misunderstanding or a show of bad faith, Your Honor.
As clearly shown in the video,
the supposedly plagiarized song
features the chorus...
While in the chorus of my client's song,
we can clearly hear...
It's completely different.
Objection, Your Honor.
My client also sings...
Unlike my client, who sings...
Yours is staccato.
It's softer. Listen.
Everybody!
Look, how cute. Asses in their natural habitat.
- Only the judge will understand... - Please, they are the same.
...the difference between...
Order!
- You can clearly hear-- - Order!
I know exactly what we need to solve this case.
But first, we need to solve this problem.
You can't wear that. Let's go.
JACKED AEROBICS
Open up!
Let's open those arms!
I want to see your souls today!
This is a power class!
Guaranteed success!
Girl, if that's success, I'm clearly a failure.
Chatting during my class?
You.
- Me? - Yeah.
What about me?
You have a secret, don't you?
Secret? Me? No.
You are hiding something.
- I'm not hiding anything. - Come here, please.
No, I'd rather stay here.
- Come here, please. - It's better if you go.
Go ahead.
Let's go, people.
Glutes.
Let's go and...
I'll drink some water, take a break and rest.
- What? - Be right back.
We barely started. I don't get it.
- Hi! - Hi.
Gosh, I love power aerobics.
I'm here every day. Guido is great, right?
- Yeah, probably. - Yeah.
I can't come every day because I work.
But I suppose you don't work, so you can always be here, right?
Yeah, I don't work.
Have you tried to find a job after being a housewife for eight years?
It's impossible. At least I take care of my body.
- I'm working on my body. - Right.
But I'm sure your child's father helps a lot, right?
I'm assuming.
Oh, you're wrong.
He's useless.
He would come home and just sit on the couch.
To this day, the cushions still have his butt print on them. Disgusting.
Wanna bet that the bastard forgot to pick up our son from school today?
- I'll call him. - No, that's not necessary.
Oh, God.
Yes?
Hello?
Is this Mike's phone?
Yes, that's correct.
Michele is busy right now,
but stay on the line and he'll be with you soon.
Please hold. Your call is very important to us.
Yes?
Virgínia, how can I-- Oh!
What?
So you can hire a secretary,
but you can't increase your son's child support?
I can't believe you called me for that.
I'm busy. I have to pick up Jonas from school.
Oh! Okay.
Okay. I thought you would forget to pick him up again.
I have to go. I'm driving and I will get a--
Bye.
Come on, you left me in the middle of that jerk's class.
Girl, I have to go, okay?
- What? - I'm sorry.
It's a woman thing. I'm sorry.
- Talk to you later. - What about this mess?
I guess I'll handle it.
Man, you were so lucky to get me on the first call.
- You got me. - Fred?
- Yes? - What happened, huh?
There was nothing else available.
I was looking for a job, and this is all I could find.
Tell me about it.
Actually, don't tell me about it.
Eyes on the road. Just drive. I'm late to pick up Jonas.
- Stop the car! - Okay!
- What? - I forgot something.
You forgot? Let me help.
Stop, Fred.
- What will I do? - I don't know.
- Where will I find men's clothes now? - Good luck.
What size are you?
No. No way. Don't even think about it.
I'll pay you 50 bucks right now.
Hey, son. What's up?
- How are you? - Dad, what are you wearing?
Where's your suit?
Dad's been working without a suit lately.
Okay? Let's go.
All this for 50 bucks. Ridiculous. I have to stop being so greedy.
- Dad. - Yes?
This driver has a weird voice.
You can't say that kind of thing, son. We can go, ma'am.
Dad, did you read my letter?
Yes. The one you wrote, with those words, right?
Your handwriting's beautiful. Good job. Very cool.
Thanks, but what did you think about that thing?
- The thing... - The girl thing.
The girl thing! Yes, of course.
You have a crush. That's adorable. So cute.
You have to show her that you are a smart boy,
that you know stuff.
Girls like smart boys.
Hey! I got it.
We're doing a geography project at school.
I'll find a way to get into her group and go for it.
Exactly. Get into her group.
Work hard on the project. Do your best.
Show her how good you are. She'll be so into you in no time.
- We're here. - Dad?
Is the driver's name really Taxi Mattel?
- No, it's not. - Yes, it is.
You're late, Michele!
- Poor boy. - It's okay, Mom!
- See? It's okay. - No, it's not, son.
Your father keeps going to those lunches with his office friends
and forgets to pick you up.
Lunches? What are you talking about? I was at the gym.
- Where? - What?
- What is it? Huh?
It's going to rain.
- Time to go, son. See you later. - Got it, Dad.
- Show her how smart I am. - That's it. Exactly.
- Is it like an Uber drag race? - No.
- That's not it. - That's awesome, lady.
That's not it. The lady is...
I want another 50.
Let's go, UberPaul.
- Michelle. - Oh, Julia.
Sorry about before. I really had to go.
You left me alone in a dance class with that moron.
- Sorry. - But I didn't come back empty-handed.
- Really? - Really.
Look what I found in that mess.
CO-FOUNDER 2 FAN: GUIDO DA SILVA
MC Mone's fan club?
What are you doing later?
FAN CLUB BAR MC MONE
That's strange.
There's no one here.
Yeah.
Weird.
- This is a bar. - What are you drinking?
Oh, my God!
- Sorry, I got a fright. - Nice to meet you. KB.
Kibbeh? My favorite dish!
Kátia Bete.
Official President of the fan club of our wonderful MC Mone.
- How can I help you? - Nice to meet you, KB.
I would love some help.
If you want to talk about MC Mone, count on me, I'm all ears.
That's exactly it.
I'm Julia, this is Michelle.
We're MC Mone's lawyers in the "Brilhante" song case.
- Yes. - I was wondering if you know this person.
- He who shall not be named! - No. Calm down, Tabbouleh.
He shall be named. His name is Guido.
- His name is Guido. - Quiet!
She has a knife.
Nobody says that crook's name inside MC Mone's fan club.
- Can we leave? - You know what I caught that jerk doing?
This?
- No. Worse. - No?
I caught him making pirate copies
of the personal archive,
our muse's personal collection.
Can you believe it?
- Personal archive? - Yeah.
It's down there. It's wonderful. Do you want to see it?
- It's right down those stairs. - Shall we?
- She has a knife. - Go.
- I don't know if we should go. - Go!
Yes, of course. We're going.
Jesus Christ. I think I'm going to shit my pants.
See you soon, Sfiha.
Girl, I don't think we should be here.
How is this a tribute? It can't be. Look at it.
This is morbid.
What are you looking for specifically?
Right now, the toilet, because I just peed a little, KY.
Honey, you've come to the right place. I have all the records.
Come and see, sweetie.
We have records of her 15th birthday, appendicitis surgery...
- Wow. - Her elementary school graduation.
High school graduation...
Please, sit.
Ms. Bete, I don't think we need to watch everything because--
Sit down!
- Okay. - Yeah. I was going to sit anyway.
I have varicose veins. KY, let me tell you something.
The thing is, we really must get to court.
Honey, nobody leaves here until they know MC Mone's full story.
- Have fun. - Look, this is false imprisonment.
We are lawyers, remember?
Hey. Lady, wait.
Please, lady. I think this door is bulletproof, girl.
We're trapped in here.
We're-- Lady!
I don't want to be stuck with these things.
Calm down. She wouldn't be crazy enough to leave us locked in here.
Wanna talk crazy, honey?
Look at this altar of death. We're in a cellar.
- We're trapped. - It makes no sense.
We are her idol's lawyers. She won't do anything to us. Calm down.
I think there are dead people in here. This must be an ancient burial ground.
It's a dragon. Help!
I can't take this anymore. It's macabre. Seriously.
Let me try turning this off. At this point, it's torture.
It must have an off switch.
This woman is going to destroy us. She's torturing us, Julia.
- Everyone, run! - Let me try.
- We have to get out of here. - Go.
- Go ahead. - Hey, lady!
- Any luck? - Open up!
Counselor Jorge Pedro, where are our lawyers?
Women are like the weather, right, Mr. Pacheco?
Unpredictable.
Order! Silence! The court is in session.
We are now opening
the final hearing of the "Brilhante" case.
Oh, my God. I forgot you two were down here.
I was watching a series and fell asleep.
- So boring! - Let's go, girl.
- I can't believe we're free. - I'm sorry.
Now it's my turn.
You'd rather stay?
I'll sing a song
and I want you all to listen.
Listen up. I'm starting now.
I would like to ask the defendant to take the stand, please.
- Everyone who knows MC Mone... - Is she streaming this?
- ...knows I'm telling the truth. - Live?
So don't abandon me now. Let's go, followers.
The witness is yours, counsel for the prosecution.
- It's time. Go for it. - Let's do this.
Good morning, Your Honor.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Good morning, colleagues.
It is a good morning because I'm sure that today,
justice will prevail in this courtroom.
This man,
simple,
humble,
and pure.
A shell of a person.
A bum.
Hopeless, weak, limp,
fragile, and inconsistent.
Is he a fan or a hater?
- I don't get it. - He's being crushed.
I'll repeat.
He's being crushed by the media.
All because of one person, this backcountry singer.
No, I don't sing country, sweetie. I sing funk.
Objection!
- Sustained. - Thank you, Your Honor.
Do you really insist on your authorship of "Brilhante,"
even after seeing the compelling evidence
of my client's video from 2012?
Listen, honey. I've been singing this song
long before you started your online law degree.
I've earned all I have. Do you know how many squats I had to do...
squat, stand, squat, stand... to get this ass?
That is a lie!
You don't strike me as someone who makes an effort.
Of course not. Look at her. She's all flabby!
I've been training since I was a baby.
I've done spinning, Zumba, CrossFit.
And I've been to every gym in this city. The best ones! All of them.
Now everything is crystal clear.
You heard the chorus...
...when you signed up to one of the gyms
where my client worked.
Give me that.
- I'm nervous! - No further questions.
Hey! Just so you know, I never took that creature's class.
Show some respect. I'm a successful singer. I'm a diva.
- Order! - Look at me.
Please, you are in a court of law.
Now, the defense attorney has the floor.
- Yes. - Kill it! Score that goal for the firm.
Counselor Jorge Pedro.
The scales of justice are in your hands.
"Tum es fucktum." Don't fuck this up.
Of course.
I would like to call the offending party to the stand.
- Is that me? - Yes, it's you.
Go. Stay calm.
Order!
I certainly feel offended.
Very offended.
Almost traumatized.
I'm so upset.
Hashtag upset.
This man...
He's going to start saying those lawyer things to humiliate me.
What name will you call me next?
This foul man...
- I don't keep birds. - ...makes frivolous insinuations.
Do you really think
that an artist of my client's caliber
would attend a gym like the one where you work?
I don't know if she's good enough,
but all women go because they love Guido's Hard One.
- What is this? - No, not that!
- Language! - Guido's Hard One is a method.
It's hard. It's a hard one!
- Everyone loves Guido's Hard One. - Nonsense!
To me, the facts seem clear.
Unless the defense attorney has something to add.
I do.
We do.
Who are these ladies?
- They are our lawyers, Your Honor. - Hi, Mr. Pacheco.
Hello.
- Hello. - JP.
I know you two from somewhere.
Can you please display the contents of this pen drive?
- Wait. - Of course.
You two were in my class at the gym.
You claim
to have never seen our client, MC Mone, before.
Yeah. I mean, I've seen her, but I don't know anything about her.
That's funny.
Could you please show Exhibit One?
What?
What is that? Come on. That has nothing to do with me.
Look at that person.
My face is symmetrical. I had facial harmonization as a baby.
The only harmonization you've had is harmonization with my last nerve.
Your Honor, please.
This card proves that you were a member
of MC Mone's official fan club.
And not only that,
you were expelled from the aforementioned fan club
for having copied
one of MC Mone's personal videos without authorization.
I was backing up the files for protection.
I didn't mean to steal anything. It was unintentional. I panicked.
Please, Counselor Julia.
Exhibit Two, please.
If I may, Your Honor.
Now, everyone.
Oh, how cute. Me as a little kid!
Do it like this with your hands. Together.
This proves that my client was already singing this chorus
long before you started your squat classes.
And with that, Your Honor, the defense rests its case.
Thank you very much.
Thank you to my dear colleague and partner in this case, Counselor Julia.
No further questions.
- Thank you! - Order.
With that, this court is adjourned.
I will announce the verdict immediately.
In light of all the evidence,
I find the defendant
not guilty.
- Yeah! - I can't believe it!
Order! Silence!
And I sentence Mr. Guido da Silva
to pay the singer MC Mone
the sum of 100,000 reais.
Nice.
- No comment. - Case closed.
We won!
Today's victory brought back my passion for justice.
So I only have one thing to say to you.
Satis est loqui tempus bibere.
Meaning, let's get drunk!
Thank you, Mr. Pacheco.
You've always been a source of inspiration to this firm.
And my success in the "Brilhante" case
was only possible
because of two people.
Amen.
Yourself and Counselor Otávio, my trusty squire.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let us hear from
MC Mone.
Thank you.
And I want to congratulate these beautiful girls
who turned the game around today in court.
- Thank you. Congrats. - No worries.
The victory is for you and your talent.
Of course, let's congratulate the girls.
After all, they brought beauty to the team, didn't they?
Congratulations!
Music!
Let's sing!
Let her sing, Jorge.
Hey, pretty boy, come here
I want you and I have a brilliant idea
My bu-butt in your ca-car
I'm single
And I want to make it happen...
Holy shit!
- Jesus Christ. - That's enough, girl. Let's go.
- Yes, that's enough. How terrible. God. - Let's go.
I was looking at how artificial they are. Jesus.
- Oh, there's stuff all over me. - Get inside.
Girl.
One question. What am I doing in this office?
Because the last time I was here
I almost sh-- I almost fuck--
I almost got into trouble.
TOP'S PACHECO ADVISES PRESIDENT
Look at this! It's the Queen.
And the king. Look.
Pacheco was already old. Did you see who signed his diploma?
Pontius Pilate.
LAW DEGREE VITTORELL COLLEGE
Oh, girl.
You know, after Jorge Pedro's bullshit,
I feel like a flip-flop in a Chanel store.
Girl, if you're a flip-flop, you're a fancy flip-flop,
covered in diamonds and gold. Julia, don't say that.
You're the most competent lawyer I've ever worked with in my entire career.
What's the point of being competent if we live in a world full of men
who only see us from the waist down?
Sometimes, we look up. I mean... Sometimes, only a few of them,
they look up, especially because I have big breasts.
Girl, my dad used to have one just like this.
Oh, I see. Jeez, how do you connect Spotify on that thing?
Wanna listen to some music?
- To lighten the mood? - See if he has Peppino di Capri.
"Per brindare un incontro."
Look what I found.
Do you know what this reminds me of?
Parties in our garage.
- It reminds me of Paula Toller. She was-- - What?
There's something about her voice. If I weren't a lawyer, I had a dream...
Girl, my dream was to sing like Paula Toller.
- Really? - Listen.
Yeah, girl. I think you're better as a lawyer.
Hey, stop dissing me. Come on.
- I'm kidding, okay? - Okay.
Let's dance.
Come here.
Let's dance to remember the good old times and forget about those cavemen.
Yeah. I already forgot. Goodbye, men.
Did you know that my first kiss was at a garage party?
- His name was Marcelinho. - Mine was Nastia.
- Nastia? - Ronaldo.
- Nastia?
No. Na-- What? Are you crazy?
No, Ronaldo. Nastia was his nickname. He was nasty.
He used to grope girls in the dark. It was weird.
Today, he would be prosecuted. Is that why you went to law school?
No, I studied law because of my uncle. He was a lawyer.
He'd bring me to court as I kid, and I would sit there
and watch him defend some grisly cases.
So I...
started to fall in love.
I understand. It's easy to fall in love.
What are you doing?
I think you misunderstood our friendship.
I'm sorry.
- I should go. I'll go. - Can I--
Julia, I can explain.
Stupid hobby.
Michele!
Son, you came at a bonna time.
- Sit down. - Hi, Mamma.
Eat, son. It's anchovy.
Damn it, Mom. You know I hate anchovies.
It has a horrible aftertaste and brings back bad memories.
- Dear God. - What's wrong, bambino? Tell Mamma.
No, it's nothing. I'll tell you what it is.
Work is really stressful. I'm kind of tired, you know?
Tired of your fancy job?
I'd like to see you here, with customers shouting,
"Where's my Margherita?" You'd see what tired is.
Are you happy, sis?
You're having a happy day. I can see the sparkle in your eyes.
It matches that snakeskin pattern. I'll go to my room because--
How rude.
What is wrong with that boy?
- Che cazzo. - How would I know what he's thinking?
- What's going on, Patrizia? - What's up with him?
It's the backward Italian education that you gave him.
- Don't talk like that, honey. - But it's true, Mom.
He can't stand having to pretend to be the tough guy you want him to be.
He has a feminine side.
- What? - Maybe even two.
Hi, Julia. Is everything okay?
- I don't want to talk to you right now. - Julia, wait. We need to talk.
- I can explain. - There's nothing to explain.
Everything is fine. You just misunderstood our friendship.
It's not what you think.
How original. You sound like a man.
I don't just sound like one, Julia.
Julia. No, wait.
Julia!
Julia! Shit.
- Yes? - Virgínia?
No... Yes, how can I help you?
Jonas was sent to the principal's office. We need to talk to his parents.
We work with a nonviolent communication model.
It's Danish.
This type of behavior is incompatible with our philosophy.
- It's-- - Let Daddy do the talking.
So you can tell this philosopher who destroyed
the volcano that my son put all of his love and strawberry sauce into
to apologize to him, okay?
Who is the bully that did this?
It was Valentina.
And I would do it again! Jonas wouldn't let me speak!
We were presenting the work and he kept interrupt--
Did you interrupt her? It's disrespectful. You shouldn't interrupt girls.
It seems the boy hasn't had a good male role model.
You're calling me out in public. He has a good male role model
and a good female role model. I put myself in women's shoes every day.
More than you can imagine.
You and the Danish too, okay?
He just wanted to help.
- Help? - So aggressive.
It was my turn. I was trying to explain tectonic plates when he--
They are large structures in the Earth's crust.
- Stop that. - I hate you, Jonas.
See? She hates you.
Because you keep interrupting. But at least she knows your name.
Listen, son. You can't interrupt girls like that.
Do you know what that's called? It's boy-terruption.
Wasn't I supposed to show her how smart I am?
- That's what I was doing. - No.
You were only showing her how rude you are.
But, Dad, you always interrupt Mom when she--
TERTÚLIO OTACÍLIO PACHECO LAW FIRM
Counselor Michelle?
Sorry, I didn't expect to see you.
Let's jump into the conference room, please.
I'm wearing heels. I can't jump.
But I'll walk.
Shouldn't we wait for Julia, so we can all talk?
That is precisely the subject I need to discuss with you.
I don't know if you heard, but Julia resigned.
What?
How is that possible?
In my opinion, she was never a good fit for us. Unlike you.
I can easily say that without you,
I would never have won the "Brilhante" case.
Please. You were doing so well.
Was your ass being handed to you? Yes, it was.
Was it like losing the World Cup? Heck, yeah, it was.
But we came and helped out, right? But I'm sure you would've won.
No fucking way.
Sorry, I'm a bit sick.
You know, Mr. Pacheco is not the man he was.
He's a bit crazy.
Exactly.
And very confused. You've noticed.
He's like, "Whoo!" For sure.
The fact is that soon, he will need to be replaced.
I see.
Understood.
He will be replaced. This is what you wanted to talk about.
Now I'm sure everyone is wondering who will replace him.
And who will replace him?
- Exactly. - Exactly.
You've very sharp.
It wasn't exactly difficult.
The board will soon appoint me as the new chairman
of Tertúlio Otacílio Pacheco.
And I'm going to need someone I can trust.
It would be very positive for my image to have a woman by my side.
A smart woman.
My right-hand man.
I always thought your right-hand man was Suck-up Otávio.
I mean, Counselor Otávio.
But you did say "smart," so you just lost your right hand.
This firm needs you, Michelle.
I've seen your talent.
No, you haven't.
And I want to see it grow.
I want to see it pulsing.
My talent is so well hidden at the moment.
I haven't used it for years.
Let me open this door for you.
Okay. But what about Julia?
Well, Julia went in search of new challenges.
Right.
So, are you ready to be a TOP guy?
- Cheers to TOP! - Cheers!
This case is very simple.
- Goal! - Yeah? Suck on this!
Goal!
MICHELLE BARBIERI WINS ALCOHOLISM CASE FOR CACHAÇA SOMMELIER
MICHELLE BARBIERI PROVES THAT FLATULENCE IS NOT A JUST CAUSE
JULIA ORNELAS LEAVES TOP, FOUNDS SPECIALIST FEMINIST FIRM
JULIA ORNELAS GETS A RAISE FOR WOMEN IN THE WORKFORCE
BARBIERI GETS CONVICTION OF FORTUNE TELLER WHO DIDN'T BRING LOVE
ORNELAS OVERTURNS BAN ON WOMEN IN COMMAND POSITIONS IN THE ARMY
LAW AND ORDER A BRILLIANT LAWYER
There's no way. The evidence is compelling.
- Did you review the case? - Yes, I emailed you.
- Good. When is the deadline? - In two weeks.
- Julia! - We can--
Julia! Hi.
- Excuse me, sir, I'm busy. - No, it's me.
- Mike. - I don't know any Mike.
- Excuse me. - No. Please, wait.
- Don't touch me! - Okay.
Or I'll call the police.
It's me, Michelle.
My name is Michele.
I was wearing women's clothes, but I'm actually a man.
A compulsive liar is what you are.
No! I'm the same person, Julia.
But instead of heels,
I wear moccasins.
Is that right?
Now you'll wear a cast.
Holy shit!
- Who is that? - A crazy stalker.
- Fuck. - Jesus.
Fucking hell. Right in the... Right there in the...
Oh, God.
Well, well, if it isn't our Cinderella of Law
taking care of her feet.
Why do you wear high heels?
You're already at the top.
But I don't mean to bother you or flatter you
in the middle of the office.
No, you never bother me.
I'm more bothered about my panties going up my butt.
If I may, I have a professional proposal for you.
Professional proposal? Of course you may. Sure.
- Please come to my office. - I'll be right there.
See you soon.
Sorry, guys. I forgot to put it on silent.
Jesus.
Wow. A woman's bag is always a mess, right?
- Mike. - Hi, Pat. What is it?
We need your help in the kitchen right now.
It's crazy. Marinaldo didn't show today. It looks like the line for MC Mone's show.
Pat, I can't come today. I'm very busy here.
I have an urgent meeting. I can't get out of it.
Oh, sure.
When you wanted to live with us, it was no problem.
When we need your help, you don't give a shit about us.
If you don't come, I'll give your stuff to your ex-wife.
Try me, Michele.
Patrizia? She hung up on me.
How will I...
Wait a minute.
Hi, Mr. Pacheco. It's me, Michelle.
Sorry. You were just here.
But I have an idea.
What if we met somewhere else?
Enjoy your meal.
I like it here.
Great recommendation. Do you come here often?
- Very. It's like I live here. - Good evening.
Thank you.
If only you knew how long it's been since I went out for pizza.
Mr. Pacheco, let me ask you something. How come you, a very talented lawyer,
a well-known lawyer,
is permanently stuck in that catacomb of an office,
sharpening pencils all day? Why did you abandon law?
I've always had two great passions in my life.
Law and Maria Eufélia.
Oh, that's cute.
- The love of my life. - That's great.
But she cheated on me.
Mr. Pacheco, let's be honest.
If every cuckold decided to retire, Social Security would go bankrupt.
Right.
Didn't you catch him?
Her lover. Did you find out who he was?
I hired the best private detectives.
The only thing I could find was
this.
- Shit. He is... - Twisted.
Do they want three pepperoni pizzas, Patrizia?
What can I do? Everyone loves Patrizia.
- Come on. - Because you are beautiful.
- Where is Mike? - Calm down.
But we didn't come here to talk about a twisted pepperoni.
Let's talk about my offer.
Yes, of course. Well--
In a minute, Mr. Pacheco.
I'll go to the restroom first because I need to pee.
Don't mind me. I'll be right back.
Fuck!
OCCUPIED
- Hi, Papà. Hi, Mamma. - Hi.
It took you long enough.
Go. Your sister needs help waiting tables.
- Waiting tables? - Yes.
Is that a problem, Mike?
- No problem. It's fine. I just-- - Hey, son.
What happened? Do you have sore eyes?
My eyes?
You guys! This is so grubby. Look at that, for God's sake.
- Look, it's filthy. - Don't rub it on your eyes, son.
Hurry, the tables won't serve themselves.
Your Michele pizza.
Enjoy your Patrizia.
Would you like to take a look at our wine list?
Thank you, sweetheart, I'll wait for my companion.
- She is taking a while, isn't she? - Yes, indeed.
- Should I check on her? - No, thanks.
Hey, meatball.
Don't ask what a lady does in the restroom.
- That table needs you. Go. - You have something around your eyes.
Hey, Kung Fu Panda. What's up?
- All good. - It's a good movie, but I ordered a pizza.
You're funny. You should do a stand-up show.
Hilarious.
I'm sorry I took so long.
Did you change your makeup?
My makeup...? Oh, God.
Let me take a...
Holy sh--
Well, black is the latest trend, you know?
You mentioned a proposal.
- Right? - Exactly.
Recta ad punctum.
Bless you. That's okay. I don't mind.
- It's a natural bodily function. - No.
That's not it. Recta ad punctum is Latin.
"Straight to the point."
- I knew that. I was joking. - Sure.
Jorge Pedro and I would like you to lead
the most important case in the firm's history.
- It's like I always say, Mr. Pacheco-- - One side of eggplant!
- Eggplant? - It's on the house.
- Right. - Has anyone seen Mike?
We need him in the kitchen,
but I can't find him.
- Who is Mike? - Excuse me.
- I must go to the restroom again. - Sure.
You can stop now, Mike. I figured it all out.
Please help me, sis.
- Don't tell anyone. - Come on. I always knew.
- Knew what? - Since you were little.
Knew what?
Mike.
I'm not the only one, am I?
- Who is what? - Trans, Mike! Transgender!
Come out of the closet. Kick down the door!
Live this love with the handsome man waiting at that table for you.
Sis, I'm not trans.
I'm dressed as a woman to keep my job.
That man is the owner of the firm where I work,
the law firm.
I can't lose my job or Virgínia will take my son away.
That's all.
Since when does becoming a woman save anyone's job?
- It's usually the opposite. - I didn't become a woman, okay?
I'm only doing it to keep my job. That's all.
Help me, sis.
Fine.
But afterwards, you will tell me
every little detail of this story because I'm dying to know, okay?
Go back to your sugar daddy. I'll be in the kitchen.
Stop that. Please.
- Go. - Am I pretty?
- As a panda. - Fuck you.
Right.
We are putting the reputation of Tertúlio Otacílio Pacheco Law Firm
into your hands.
Don't worry, JP. You're about to see what a lawyer is.
That's what I'm talking about! You'd better buy sunglasses
and get the courtroom windows tinted because it's my time to shine!
That's the spirit.
Let's see the face of the madman who is suing TOP.
"Case of Julia Ornelas." Are you high?
Are you mad? What is this? Counselor Julia?
You want me to go up against Julia?
- We were surprised too, weren't we? - Yes.
Who'd have thought that Julia would bite the hand that fed her?
Wait. No. Wait a second. No.
It looks like you were doing the biting.
She's suing you for sexual assault.
You tried to kiss-- Did you try to force yourself onto her?
It's ludicrous.
It's all nonsense.
I know you women like to defend each other,
but what Julia is doing is indefensible.
- Julia would never do something like that. - You don't know Julia.
I guess I don't.
Julia's attitude changed a lot when you joined the firm.
Yes. You had an effect on her. Actually, on everyone here.
Did she mention me?
After we won the "Brilhante" case,
she came to my office asking for a promotion.
Now I see how malicious she was.
She was already planning this lie when she resigned.
That's impossible. No, Julia and I are friends.
She didn't seem to be your friend. She asked for the promotion for herself.
I told her that you both deserved it, but she insisted on being the only one.
Otherwise, she would resign.
She seemed to hold some grudge against you.
She was probably jealous of your talent.
Just look at how you've grown within the company.
Mr. Pacheco, I can't do it.
What do you mean?
Where is your courage, your professionalism?
This test will get you that promotion.
You're really putting me on the spot!
This is... Mr. Pacheco, this is practically unethical!
Well, it's your decision.
You can decline.
But you'll also be declining the partnership...
JULIA, WE NEED TO TALK!
...your career, money,
and your job.
The office is counting on you, Michelle.
TOMORROW AT THE COURTHOUSE CAFÉ?
We need your answer by tomorrow.
Excuse me.
Hi, Marcela.
Hi, Julia. Aren't you coming to the meeting?
Yes, I am.
I'm dealing with that thing first.
Are you meeting that woman who was a man?
What happened? You were so mad at him.
Oh, Marcela.
Mike is a good guy, you know?
The truth is that nothing serious happened.
Not even a kiss.
I don't know. I just got scared.
Be honest. You liked getting to know this Mike guy, right?
Know what I think? Life gave me an opportunity and I didn't see it.
So I've decided to seize it.
See you soon.
Is that true?
Oh, Mike.
- You weren't supposed to hear that. - I'm sure.
What's the big deal? It isn't so bad.
I know you were wrong about me.
But I'm beginning to realize that I was wrong about you too.
Very wrong.
What?
We're dropping a huge bombshell.
It's perfect, Michelle.
Your defense makes it very clear that I would never harass an employee.
Yeah, no problem.
I just included a few compliments from the firm's employees.
Good.
I'll write it down.
On the 7th, at noon, there'll be a massacre in court.
Counselor Michelle grinds Julia's face into the asphalt.
JONAS HEARING 12
Wait, I'm not available on the 7th at noon.
I have an appointment that I really cannot miss. I'm sorry.
Michelle,
there are only two kinds of appointments you can't miss.
Ones with this firm
and death itself.
So please do not die and postpone the other appointment.
I think I'm going to pass out.
I don't feel well. Maybe it's the hot flashes.
- Oh, honey. - I'm menopausal.
- Take a sip to hydrate. - Give it to me.
- Wonderful. - This is strong, huh?
Yes, this is Moscow water.
Popularly known as vodka.
- Bad vodka, but still. - Yeah.
This is the perfect fuel for when things go south.
For fuck's... Let me drink because...
Yeah.
...things went south.
Hello. Michelle here.
Do you copy?
- Copy? Why is your finger in your ear? - Earwax.
- Is the plan all set? - All set. Just do as we agreed.
Just follow my lead.
- He's wearing a thong, you know? - You perv.
You've got some nerve.
Finally.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
I think we are ready to start.
I give the floor to the prosecution.
Good afternoon, Your Honor.
Thank you.
It is with great sadness that I report yet another case
in which a woman is a victim of abusive behavior
from men who think they can do anything.
Some can, am I right?
Professionals who hide behind their jobs,
their position of power,
to harass women.
To treat them like objects.
But that time is coming to an end, Your Honor.
It's time to expose them.
And expose situations like the one experienced by Julia Ornelas,
who was vilely assaulted by this man,
Jorge Pedro Mascaro,
who took advantage of her vulnerability
and the privacy of his office
to assault her.
While he offered her a promotion,
he hugged her and tried to kiss her.
Lies.
This man, ladies and gentlemen,
is a coward. He is weak.
He hides behind his professional position, so that no one sees
his lack of virility.
Objection!
She can't say that.
- Let me do the objections. - Object then!
You didn't let her finish.
This is manterrupting.
- What? - Manterrupting.
Are you objecting or not?
- No. - Yes.
Counselor, please contain your client.
Of course.
Sit.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Folks...
Everyone, everybody.
Citizens.
Peoples and persons.
Peeps, peers.
Y'all.
This case is representative--
Sorry, Your Honor. There's an urgent call for you.
- For me? - Manterrupting, yet again!
Yes?
The Brazilian judicial system is about to come crashing down.
The chair you're sitting on is rigged to a bomb.
You're going to fly like Batman in that black cape.
There's a bomb! Run!
Holy shit. We're screwed!
Jesus. Calm down. It's better to--
Oh, my God.
How terrible.
Hi.
Jesus, Mike, you have to stop eating pizza.
It's like pushing a bag of cement.
Your Honor, I'm sorry for the delay.
There was an incident on another floor. I apologize.
You've got some nerve.
How original. I've heard that today already.
I want to know if the parties reached an agreement.
- Yes, we did. Huh? - No.
Because this party is incapable of being a good father.
- He only thinks about himself. - Virgínia!
Cut the bullshit. I pay my son's child support on time.
Any time you choose, right?
And paying on time doesn't make a bum a good father.
Look, my relationship with Jonas is very good.
Don't try to say that I'm a bad father!
At least I don't claim that I can't work
and waste my time jumping around with Guido's Hard One.
Hey! Watch your language.
How do you know that I'm in Guido's class?
Honey, I don't work out,
I don't dance around, but I do have connections.
- Are you following me? - I wouldn't waste my time following you.
- Order. Silence. - I have better things to do.
You're trying to piss me off.
- Order. - You don't know how busy I am.
Silence. Silence!
- Enough! - Sorry.
- The court is no place for backbiting! - Jesus, he's--
What do you think this is? A talk show?
Your Honor, this bastard doesn't want to pay his son's bills.
She's lying.
It's a lie. I don't even know her.
- I'll beat your ass! - It isn't mine!
- I want a DNA test! - It's not mine!
- Enough! - DNA test? Are you insane?
Look, I'll have to... I'll have to ask you to...
Please wait outside until I solve this issue.
It's a shame to leave just as they were about to reveal the DNA results.
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize
for the false alarm.
It was all just a tasteless prank.
Moving on, I give the floor to the defense.
One moment. Excuse me.
Your Honor,
colleagues.
As you all know, I'm a real woman.
Your Honor,
I think all women should work
at Tertúlio Otacílio Pacheco.
If there is one law firm
that treats women the same as men,
it is TOP Law Firm.
And a good example
is my client,
Counselor Jorge Pedro.
An honest man,
honorable,
dignified.
One of the best lawyers this country has ever seen.
If it weren't for your ridiculous tie, you'd be the perfect man.
Shame on you!
You're a sellout!
Bravo, Julia.
Finally,
we're getting to know who you really are, aren't we?
You were fired from TOP for that attitude of yours.
You're aggressive.
Sometimes, even violent.
It wasn't this alleged assault that you're accusing my client of.
There was never any assault.
But there is someone trying to seize an opportunity.
I rest my case.
Where are you going, Counselor?
- What? - Where are you going?
Well, I crushed it. I don't see why I should stick around.
How do you feel about listening to the prosecution now?
Yo!
- At least someone applauded. - Sorry to interrupt your little party.
Looking hot, sis.
But I need to know who owns a Corsa
with the license plate FHI5997.
It's mine. Why?
We are towing it.
It is illegally parked.
It's being impounded.
But it's in the parking lot.
- Parking lot? - It's clandestine.
You're towing every car.
That lot is clandestine, lady. The police are repossessing the property.
Every car will be towed.
Just letting you know.
There you are.
They're waiting for you at the cafeteria.
Good afternoon.
- What is this bullshit? - What?
- Oh, the... - Your Honor, please.
This man refuses to take anything seriously. God!
He's always late to pick up our son. He's a terrible role model.
Your Honor, I beg to differ. May I please approach the bench?
- No. - He never lets me.
But I will anyway,
because I know that I bring you good energy.
My client, meaning, myself,
at this very moment, is on the verge of making partner
at one of the greatest law firms in this country, Your Honor.
Did you ever think
that maybe I also wanted my career back?
And if you pulled your weight with Jonas, maybe I could?
This jerk will never know what it's like to be a woman.
- Please! - Your Honor.
My client just wants the best for her son.
He'll have a better life in San Francisco.
Dear colleague, respectfully, let me tell you this. It won't be better.
What's best for children
is to be close to their parents.
Both parents. Parents who used to love each other.
My client, meaning, myself, used to love you, okay?
And my client needs--
Holy smokes.
He needs... to go to the restroom.
I have an irritable bowel. And I ate one of those pink eggs
from the cafeteria, and it is fatal.
You've been there. It goes in just to come right back out.
So my client, he needs to...
excuse himself because it's already coming out.
I can feel it. I'll be right back. It's only because... Gosh, it's coming.
Oops. Wrong bathroom.
See? The little doll is wearing a dress. It's the women's restroom.
Years on the job and I still haven't learned to drink less when I'm in court.
I don't know if it was a good idea to put Michelle on this case.
Mr. Pacheco trusts her.
Now that he's left his catacomb to torment me,
I have to keep him onside until he kicks the bucket.
But you're on the way to becoming president. Data venia.
When I do, I'll kick that ugly bitch to the curb.
- She's fucked. - That woman is so dumb.
- She's as ugly as she is stupid. - Agreed.
Arrogant little woman.
- I hate stupid people. - Esteemed colleagues.
Let her think she's kicking ass.
It's a shame that Julia did what she did, isn't it?
Because she is a fine piece of ass, isn't she?
She's one hysterical woman.
Damn, she came to talk to me in my office
with that delicious cleavage, man.
Those tight pants showing everything.
She offered it on a plate. She crossed the ball in for me to kick.
And I was forced to score the goal.
I'll go find that jerk.
Excuse me.
Where's your father?
- He ran that way. - Okay. Come with me.
He must be up to something and we will find out what.
Stop this trial now!
Now that we're back in session?
Oh, good. I thought you'd started without me.
Impossible, Counselor.
Shush, honey.
Your Honor, I would like to say
that the prosecution won't be stopping this man today.
I will stop this pervert myself.
- What? - That's right.
Jorge Pedro Mascaro
must leave this court and go straight to jail.
I beg to differ.
- You need to listen to me. - Of course we will.
Let's listen to you.
Just...
Just a second.
May I? Just a moment.
Excuse me.
Hello. Testing.
Okay.
...hysterical woman.
Damn, she came to talk to me in my office
with that delicious cleavage, man.
Those tight pants showing everything. She offered it on a plate.
She crossed the ball in for me to kick. And I was forced to score the goal.
Then, when you put your hand on her knee,
you pull her closer, and you have to listen to,
"Oh, it's not what you think."
Too late, darling.
Traitress!
Judas in a skirt!
Didn't I say, Mr. Pacheco, that women couldn't be trusted?
All because I didn't want to fuck you, you ugly bitch.
- Hey! Security! - You whore.
- Take this pervert away. - You witch.
- Nobody wants you. - You ugly witch!
This isn't over.
This isn't over!
It's not!
Would you please explain yourself?
My God, this has turned into a soap opera.
When I...
When I met Julia,
I was starting out in this job.
And I thought
that I would quickly be able to show my potential.
I knew what I was capable of.
But I didn't know that as a woman,
it would be so hard.
Have you been living under a rock?
I was interrupted every time I spoke in meetings.
I had to justify all my ideas.
It seemed that, as a woman,
I was stupid, incompetent.
And still,
I didn't listen
to my colleague, Julia.
I didn't listen to her when she needed me most.
What is your point, Counselor Michelle?
I don't have a point.
Please.
I'm not Michelle.
I'm Michele.
Michelle has short hair?
Welcome to our world,
Michele.
I knew he was two-faced!
But I didn't know the other face was drag.
- Mike is not a drag queen, Virgínia. - The correct term is cross-dresser.
I've made a lot of mistakes.
But I was only ever thinking of my son.
I wanted to keep this job to prove to my ex-wife
and to my son
that I'm a good father.
And I'm capable of taking care of him.
But I can tell you one thing.
Being a woman...
is not a man's job.
So, is this what you meant, Dad?
When you said we had to put ourselves in women's shoes?
I don't think it was quite that.
Well, this is unheard of.
Exactly, Your Honor.
Such nonsense is unheard of.
Excuse me.
This case must be overturned.
- My lawyer is a man. - And what's the problem with that?
Mr. Pacheco, for God's sake,
you are a bastion of justice, please intervene.
I didn't expect this from you, Jorge Pedro.
I am deeply disappointed.
Speaking of disappointment, here's another one for you.
It's just like the picture. It's twisted!
The bastard was closer than we thought.
I also received this in the court chat.
Case closed.
Mike, I need to talk to you. Please.
- Jonas, come with your aunt. - Okay.
- Yeah, take a walk with your aunt. - Go with your aunt.
Go on, Jonas.
- Did you lose something? - No.
- Coffee. Want some? - Sure.
Yes, Virgínia.
Look,
I didn't know you were capable of that.
Virgínia, it was all for...
It was for our son, for Jonas.
And... Please don't use that against me.
I thought you were a bad role model, but I had no idea.
Please, don't take my son away. I'm begging you.
I had no idea how far you were willing to go.
I had to see you in a skirt to...
understand what a great father you are.
Jesus, it's been so long since--
- That's crazy. Nope. - No.
- No way. Jeez! - Terrible idea.
- I'm over it. - My mother taking a shower.
- Okay. Is it over? - Yes.
Yes. Can we...
Your clothes.
Cute. Can I borrow them?
That's why we're divorcing. You always want something.
Now, it's my clothes, my skirts. No.
- No way. - Hi.
Dad, remember Valentina from school?
That girl from the volcano situation, right?
Yeah, we're friends now and we're going to the movies tomorrow.
Oh, that's great, son. I'm happy for you.
- I'm proud of you. - Me too.
Michele, I did good, right?
Straight out of a spy movie. I was like MacGyver.
- Like a spy and-- - Frederico, shut up.
Michelle. Who would've thought?
Who would've thought?
You were a man all along.
Yeah. Nobody's perfect.
But it was perfect. A brilliant lawyer.
You are.
You brought me back to law, saved the firm,
and freed me from the twisted dick trauma.
My son is here.
You deserve a raise, right?
That's what I call male privilege, right?
You found out he's a man and already gave him a raise.
No. You are rehired and you'll make partner, all right?
Thank you, Mr. Pacheco, but I'm very happy at my firm.
And we actually could use a lawyer like you, Mike.
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Pacheco. I really appreciate the raise,
but it looks like I have a new boss.
What's happening?
Did he just...
Let me tell you something.
Thank God I don't have to wear bras and heels anymore.
I wore them once and my feet hurt for three days.
They still hurt.
Oh, men are so weak.
No, I'm serious, I don't know how you do it.
That thing... I'm still sore.
- For God's sake. - I'll give you some tips.
Dad, I forgot to give this to you. It came to our house.
What is this?
Please, Julia. Thank you.
"Voe Mais is offering you an all-inclusive cruise package for two."
"The Caribbean at your feet." How wonderful!
"Congratulations to the brilliant attorney Michelle Barbieri."
It's a good thing I'm always prepared. Do you have a bikini I can borrow?
Do you know what I think about people who think
they can make jokes about everything? If it were up to me,
those people would be prosecuted,
tried, and convicted.
Without the right to appeal.
Have I made myself clear?
Yeah, right.
- Thank you. - Will you resign, bro?
- Wait a minute. Wait, bro! - TOP!
- I do capoeira, brother! - It's TOP!
What is this, Mr. Miranda? I'll finger you, Mr. Miranda!
Enough. I'm out of here.
Her father must be a lawyer.
- He did her justice. - Come on, Tião.
Do you still use those pick-up lines? It's the 21st century.
You can't objectify the female body so grossly.
Have you no shame?
But I'd hit that.
I would. I won't lie.
And her mother doesn't interfere. Are you okay?
Are you on any kind of pills?
Some people take medication and become numb.
I'd like a prescription. Can I get the blue one?
How's the girl? She's feisty.
You need to deal with that at home.
Sorry, I just saw a cockroach walking along...
Yesterday, I drank sugarcane juice.
And when you have sugarcane juice with a fried cheese pastry,
the kind that drips and burns you... You wouldn't believe the burn on my arm.
I thought, "You know what? I'll have it."
"It's been so long since I had sugarcane juice with fried pastry."
I had it, then came here.
I thought I was okay. I took my morning dump with my coffee.
So I thought I was clear.
"There's nothing else left." But no. I have to go again.
It didn't sit right and I need to--
Virgínia knows.
Because if I drop one of those in here... She used to call them death bombs,
sarin gas, it will all turn to shit.
Literally. Let me...
Excuse me, my friend. Excuse me, Your Honor.
On behalf of all of you and with respect to your noses,
because even the hairs would fall out. I will take a dump.
Excuse me. I'll be right back. It's already...
I'll come back with tape around my ankles. It's already leaking down my leg.
Subtitles by: Elaine Scott