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Water.
Bandit Hu is dead!
It was passed down to me.
Do you have confidence in the assessment of experts?
Absolutely. Family antiques are bound to be valuable.
So tell us, what did the experts say?
That's too bad.
Alright. Next, let us invite nine-
Hello Comrade, Here's my card,
I'm Tang Gaopeng, may or of Shamatown in Huantai County.
When you visit, please come find me. You can reach me on my direct line.
Shamatown has everything a tourist could want.
There's good cuisine, wonderful hospitality and sites to visit.
If you spend a night in the ancient fortress-
Go in.
How do you do, expert appraisers.
Where are these objects from?
These were left behind by Hu the Bandit. Do you know about him?
These were his.
These objects don't have any value.
- They're just common, everyday items. - Are they worth anything?
If not, just give me an estimate.
Put them away, 0k? That's all.
Hi boss, I'm just having a bowl of noodles.
As soon as I'm done, I'll head back to the station.
Got it.
Waitress!
You work for the TV station?
Reporter?
Yeah, so'?
Two beers!
May I ask your name?
Cui, from Gansu TV.
Have you heard of our town?
It's my treat.
You want me to publicize your town, right?
That's right.
Our station has rules. I'm not allowed to take outside jobs.
Go on, take it!
I'm not allowed to take bribes, either.
Don't do this please.
What's that?
I just got these appraised in the city.
Antiques.
Our station director has a thing for antiques.
You selling? Name a price.
Sure.
Why sell?
If you like them that much,
take 'em!
Where did you get this?
Tang Gaopeng, mayor of Shamatown.
Very interesting.
I've been searching for this for ten years.
These are written in Tangut script.
A rough translation would read:
Authorized to capture traitors, dead or alive.
That's not the point however.
What's really interesting...
is what the bandit Hu Shuanzi wrote on the back.
This is from a newspaper article from 1931.
After Hu Shuanzi looted the Tangut
imperial tombs, he was surrounded by.
Nationalist troops and never heard from again.
They never found any of his treasures.
Hu the Bandit hid them somewhere.
These hold the clue.
The characters for Dragon and Tiger are on the top Nine and Five are on the bottom.
If you want to know what these inscriptions mean,
you should send someone to Shamatown to make inquiries.
Have him ask about anything
to do with dragons or tigers.
NH. Cm,
On your left is Tail Mountain On your right is Mouth Peak.
That's our famous Shamatown, up ahead.
We raise ostriches and sheep.
Mr. Cui, I welcome you...
to the jewel of the Gobi Desert, Shamatown!
We are now arrived in Shamatown.
Warlord Qin is a big shot.
Today is his wedding day.
Beware the hero of the people, Hu the Bandit.
He rides on the golden dust of the Gobi.
He fights and steals from the rich to help the poor.
You should be careful!
I don't believe this nonsense. How great can he be?
He wouldn't dare come onto my territory and risk getting killed.
Hu the Bandit is coming! Run or you'll be killed!
I'm coming to kill you precisely.
Bandit Hu, you have no sense of humanity!
Allow me to escort you.
The CD's stuck.
Stop it. Don't fight with the tourists.
We were just playing!
The kid's got good aim. Run along and play.
Enjoy the tour.
Move it!
Still putting on shows?
Well, stop it! Stop it immediately!
What are you saying? We can't stop. Come with me.
- What are you doing? - Come with me please.
- What are you doing? - You...
Mr.Cui, up ahead is our most luxurious
hotel, the Shama Hilton Inn!
You can go sleep there!
There's no publicity value in that.
Does Shamatown have any mythical beasts?
What kind of mythical beasts?
Dragons, for example, or tigers.
Yes!
- Made of stone! - Yes!
I wanted tomatoes, not some dodgy theme park!
Plus, you're diverting tourists from other towns.
Are you trying to quit?
Come on...
- What's this? - A stone dragon.
You busy?
Let me help.
It's no trouble.
But you'll get your hands all dirty!
Sit down.
But Spring, I have something important to say.
So say it.
Chairman?
I really hope you'll reconsider the loan application
and give us the license to operate.
Gaopeng, when will the tourists be here?
They already left.
Who's going to eat all this food?
Just share it with everyone, and put it on my tab.
Your IOUs plus the village party's.
IOUs add up to more than three thousand!
Tang Gaopeng, You only know how to put things on your tab. How are you going to repay me?
You're a waste of money and manpower!
You need to shut down this theme park,
and get with the county's plan,
to start growing tomatoes the way you should be.
Chairman.
No, allow me. From now on, just call me Daping.
Dear Brother Daping...
Yes?
I want to tell you something.
Go ahead.
Come over here.
The way it is...
- We're from the same village. - Yes
so maybe you could bend the rules a bit, and approve his license.
Let him sink or swim on his own.
Don't you get it?
The man's as stubborn as a mule.
Won't you do it, for me?
That's why I'm saying I can't let you get in any deeper.
Mr.Cui, So finally, the Taoist immortal
turned the heavenly dragon and tiger to
stone and left them here in Shamatown,
ushering in an age of glory, good fortune, peace and prosperity.
There it is, Mr. Cui!
The stone tiger!
I love you, but you love him.
My heart is breaking.
Mr. Cui...?
Don't follow me.
I can't even get a signal in this crappy place.
The village party committee has a phone!
What?
He said the party committee has a phone!
I can't approve your license, or the loan.
Shut the door.
But I thought you and Spring agreed.
That has nothing to do with you.
I'm handling her situation. Drive.
Go handle your mother, you jerk.
Mayor Tang!
Look!
What's this?
The Bully Brothers knocked my tooth out!
Why'd they do that?
They wanted the public funds, the profits from our show.
I was trying to protect public property.
Where'd they go?
They left for the city. What should we do?
What?
Hurry UP-
Mayor, when my dad was dying
I promised to take care of my brothers.
Let me tell you something.
Out here, you can bully anyone you want.
But in the city, anyone who wants to bully you, can.
Am I right?
Clean my car, understand?
If you want to leave this town, you'll have to get past me!
Try me!
I dare you!
How dare you go!
Hello? It's me, Cui.
Those plaques are a treasure map.
I said the plaques are a treasure map!
There's a local rhyme about a stone tiger and a dragon,
and treasure buried 9.5 feet underground. Can you hear me?
The children's rhymes in the villiage also sing about this.
Dragon vs. Tiger, made of stone, Nine and a half feet down below.
Yeah. Hu Shuanzi's treasure is buried here in Shamatown.
Shut up! Scram!
I'm telling you, we're rich!
And the locals don't have a clue.
Your Jeep's not clean yet.
We heard what you said about treasure!
Mr. Cui!
You're not leaving
us already?
I have to hurry back to the station.
Don't let him leave. He's a cheat!
Won't you stay for dinner, at least?
Come visit us again anytime!
Mayor, you've made a major mistake!
That guy's a swindler. How could you let him leave?
I'm calling a town meeting.
What are you looking? Pay attention to the meeting!
Mr. Zhou, the information has been verified.
Shamatown really does have ancient treasures, I'm going to head over there.
It looks like I'll have to go personally this time.
You don't trust me.
There must be a ton of treasure here!
Enough gold to fill a whole house!
Now you believe some journalist's bullshit?
How's it bullshit?
- He came here, didn't he? - It's a sign!
The journalist come to Shamatown for bullshit?
Even if there are treasures, they aren't ours to take.
You want to end up in jail, or dead?
They'd never do that.
Hu Shuanzi came from Shamatown,
so his treasure belongs to us.
How could they punish us for taking what's rightfully ours?
The old mayor used to say.
According to our family tree, Hu Shuanzi was my great-grandfather.
I want treasure!
Piss off, you two!
Well, if you're going to look at it that way stand up!
If my man's grandpa hadn't saved Hu Shuanzi's life,
your grandpa would never have been born.
That means we should get a bigger
share of the treasure, right? You stand up.
I know this case.
His grandpa's my uncle, which makes me senior to you.
Bullshit!
B-but back in the day,
Hu Shuanzi r-raped my great-aunt!
Maybe so, but he raped my maternal grandmother first.
Then your great-aunt!
Stop! Hu Shuanzi r-raped my great-aunt first!
Shut up! Sit down!
Let's listen to the mayor!
Mayor, why don't we just do as Chairman Lu says and grow tomatoes?
Chairman Lu.
First he had us raise ostriches, now it's tomatoes. Is his plan better?
Not necessarily.
And I swear, if anyone brings up
the subject of tomatoes again,
that person will be dead to me!
The situation is clear.
The whole town plants tomatoes.
We'll go as a food company and cater to their needs.
I've made my decision.
You three... go find work in the city.
Everyone else, start digging.
But we want to dig for treasure, too.
Get out of the way.
What's the matter?
Give them some benefits, in exchange for their trust.
We'll pretend to build factories and lay foundations.
That way we could dig anywhere we want.
Once we find the treasures, we leave immediately.
Sounds good.
With everyone digging for treasure,
and no tourists, how can I make a living?
Don't be silly.
Start a bar, you said, and you'll make a ton of money.
So I listened to you, and traded
everything I owned for a pile of |OUs!
Tang Gaopeng, how can you eat?
I knew you were going to hit me.
Just listen, and I promise
you'll have new respect for me.
I knew if the Bully Brothers left
for the city, it would start a trend.
So I played along with that con-man journalist,
and made everyone think there was treasure here.
There's no way they'll leave now.
Clever, huh?
All I want...
is for these kids to own Shamatown.
I want city folks to come here for work,
not the other way around.
I want these kids to...
hey, don't hit me again!
That's my dream and ambition!
What?
I'm hungry. Got anything to eat?
I'll heat this up for you.
Women.
Bring some stir-fry, too!
If you've got something to say, spit it out!
Why should we bother with tourists?
Who are you, the mayor?
If we drive them away, we'll have more time to dig!
Next year, I'm voting you for mayor!
Okay.
Hi folks. Which way is Shamatown?
And Suozi Fortress?
Where does that road lead?
It's a dead end. Get back in the car.
Hey, what are you doing?
Don't hit him!
Who do you think you are? Grab your weapons!
Don't hit him!
Kill him!
Don't hit him!
Stop!
Nobody move! Come here!
What's wrong with you?
Speak!
What happened to your tooth?
Are any of you hurt?
Did you get hurt, brother?
I'm just asking you.
If you have anything to say, talk to me.
They're just peasants who don't know any better.
If they offended you in any way, I apologize.
What brings you here?
We've come to Shamatown to buy produce.
Produce?
Tomatoes.
Oh, I see.
Chairman Lu sent you, didn't he?
- Why yes, he... - Chen Dili.
Tell me, who did this to you?
Answer me! Who knocked your tooth out?
Who did this? Who was so unkind
to smash out your teeth?
Bastards!
Let me tell you something.
Listen here, Shamatown is a tourist town. We don't have tomatoes!
So plant some.
What'd you say?
How's 500 yuan per acre?
- I know that... - 300,000 yuan per acre, 5000 acres total.
Give me a down payment now, and we'll start planting.
Piece of shit.
Stupid peasant.
What the hell?
Battle formation!
Let's ki||'em!
What's the matter?
Boss Mao, let's not do anything hasty.
I'm sure
I'm sure we can work this out peacefully.
Stay away! Don't worry.
I won't move.
And what, may I ask, is your name, sir?
- His name's Tang! - Mayor Tang!
- Ah, yes.
Mayor Tang. Nice to meet you.
Never mind.
Allow me to explain.
We've been traveling all day,
and are looking for a place to rest,
have a nice meal and look around.
We don't mind if you haven't got tomatoes.
So, what do you say?
I guess that's okay. But we won't grow tomatoes, got it?
As for the tomato industry,
it represents but a tiny fraction of my many global business interests.
A tiny... fraction?
Minuscule.
I've come here to help develop Shamatown's economy.
- Boss Mao... - Yes. Yes.
Let's go into town!
Move aside!
Mayor Tang.
Back to town.
Don't you think so?
We do.
Right. What kind of leader strips widows?
Digs up graves and hits disabled people?
One cannot do such immoral and tyrannical acts.
Thank you for sparing my life, Lord Hu.
Who said I wasn't going to kill you?
Hu Shuanzi, you have no humanity!
Boss Mao, this performance is about.
Hu Shuanzi and his band of outlaws.
A famous theatre director helped us rehearse.
And what, may I ask, are they performing now?
Let me explain...
Oh, I'm sorry.
All the actors are farmers, too.
After a long day in the fields, they're exhausted.
Not bad at all. Let's give them a hand.
Let's give them a hand.
Good, very good!
Mayor Tang,
I've designed many theme parks
but never have I seen such a creative performance.
Very nice.
Boss, can you introduce us?
Have a seat, Mr. Zhou.
Mr. Zhou is a key advisor to my U.S. Tourism Foundation.
He's designed tourist sites in scenic Zhangjiajie and Lijiang,
and was in charge of the restoration of the Eiffel Tower.
He had also directed the...
I was invited here
by the Suozi Fortress tourist commission
to help with planning and promotion.
So you're not a tomato buyer, after all!
You are welcome.
Why didn't you say so?
- Oh, sorry! - Be careful.
Be careful!
- Sorry! Sorry! - That's OK.
That's OK, boss Mao.
- It's dirty. - Now that we've eaten,
I think it's time to go.
You can't leave!
Boss Mao, You have to say something.
You haven't even seen the village party committee headquarters.
That's not necessary.
Really, it is...
Let's do it this way,
Why don't you come to our trailer, instead?
Please stay here in Shamatown and show us how we should do things.
I beg you...
What are you doing?
- I don't mind. - Stand up.
I really don't mind.
Hey girl...
How are you feeling?
Fine, thank you, and you?
Whatchya talking about?
Experiential economy! Interactive tourism!
You've been saved.
You're all saved!
I'm a happy participant, a happy participant!
Experiential economy! Interactive tourism!
I'm a happy participant, a happy participant!
Welcome to Shamatown!
Listen up, folks!
We've got a wild one here!
I love it Wild!
Shut up!
Takeit.
What about your cut?
It's all yours.
Give us a smile.
Smile.
Mayor Tang,
before we build our hotel here,
we'd like to survey the terrain.
Go ahead!
And screw anyone who tries to stop you!
This is my domain, and I'll give you anything you want!
Bold vision, right?
What are you doing?
This is my house.
Since when?
- Let me tell you. - Hey! Don't touch that.
My husband's grandpa was the oldest son,
so this is our land!
Oldest son, my ass!
He was adopted from another village,
so the bloodline's not pure!
Why not pure?
- It's not pure! - Why not pure!
- It's not pure! - Mianbing!
Hurry up! Go fetch our family tree!
That right! Until we straighten this out,
no more surveying!
No more surveying! Surveying what?
Listen, until we clear this up,
no one gets to survey this place!
No more surveying!
Who dare to survey? No more surveying!
Listen, get up quickly.
You two, how big is your combined property?
- One-third of an acre! - An acre and a half!
An acre and a half!
Let's say half an acre each.
When we're done surveying, I'll pay you in cash.
That ought to shut you up.
Me first.
No way! No fair!
Don't add trouble!
I don't know how this happened.
You don't?
Do you know, or not know?
I know.
What do you know?
I dunno.
That's right.
If you don't know,
just say you don't know.
Don't pretend to know.
I'll tell you what you need to know.
You find a way to let the villagers know
they're sitting on buried treasure.
You know?
I know.
Do you know, or not know?
I know.
What do you know?
I dunno.
If you don't know, just say you don't know.
Don't pretend to know.
I'll tell you what you need to know.
A gimmick.
If Shamatown wants to make it big,
you need a selling point, a gimmick.
Hey, you.
Hi, boss.
Today, someone...
snuck into my bar.
Did you know?
No, I didn't.
Something missing.
There's nothing missing, but one thing added.
Was it you?
No.
I swear.
So, what, did the wind blow it in?
Maybe.
Just cuz you're a stupid mayor, you have pretend you're above everything?
Why can't you just admit it when you do something nice?
- What the hell? - Why you sneaky?
Go ask someone else.
Back pain medicine.
And it didn't even work! I don't need your quack medicine!
I don't care.
You just talk about the gimmick.
Simply saying.
As a tourist destination, what resources can you rely on?
We can rely on fine investors
like yourself.
Was that the right answer?
What does Shamazhen have?
Mountains?
Rivers?
Terracotta Warriors?
Sorry for the mix-up.
Seems the medicine was from Chen ili.
Bullshit! It was from me,
and now he's taking credit?
You're a mental case.
You...
Hello?
What the hell?
It was obviously from me.
What do tourists want to see?
What?
Performances.
What performances?
Your performances.
About what?
Hu Shuanzi.
Hu Shuan...?
Oh, right, he's in our show.
And what was he?
A bandit.
And is it possible he buried some treasure here?
That's what the old folks say.
And could you tell the whole world
about this buried treasure?
No, no way.
Yes, you can!
How?
If you say there's treasure here, there is.
But that's a lie.
No, it's a selling point.
Selling points.
Participation, happiness, tourism, interactivity.
What are the selling points is?
And what are we selling?
Tomatoes.
Mayor Tang, think about it.
Once tourists know there's treasure here,
they'll tell all their friends,
people will flock to Shamatown,
and you'll be rolling in it.
Rolling in cash.
But the local legends are bullshit!
I just tell you.
People have been digging here for generations.
Shamatown's got more holes than a Swiss cheese,
and we haven't found squat.
I'm telling you, Mr. Zhou,
Tomatoes.
Boss Mao, the people of Shamatown
will never be able to thank you enough.
Mr. Zhou, we'll make money, just wait and see.
Let's drink to our success.
Bottoms up!
Bury this in town.
Mr. Zhou.
- But it's worth a fortune. - Do it.
And be sure to bury it some place they'll find it.
- We just found this. - Treasure.
- Treasure.
Congratulations, Mayor Tang.
Give it here!
- My apologies. - What's wrong?
You found this?
It's obviously a fake. You can't fool the experts.
I'll kill you, I swear!
I'll kill you.
- Kill you with my shoe! - Mr. Mayor
please stop it!
If it turns out to be real, then we're fine.
But it's a fake.
It doesn't matter if it's fake,
you have to keep digging,
so people know there's treasure here.
Mayor fight again.
Then you'll be famous.
- Understand? - I don't want to be famous.
Once you're famous, people will come
and so will the money.
Don't you want to develop Shamatown?
Do you know tourism investment?
The same as tourism developing.
I can invest.
Yes he can.
First thing,
I want to construct a vast necropolis in Shamatown.
You know what that is?
Like a cave!
An imperial tomb.
That way, we can sell imperial-themed souvenirs
and make even bigger money.
Too much money.
Even more money.
Nice translation.
Then I'll invite my close friend Zhang Yimou,
the world-famous film director...
Oh yes, they're very close.
To direct a large-scale production
entitled Impression: Shamatown.
Great title.
And when that happens
you'll be the same man, but a different person.
Who will I be?
A new and better you.
A round of applause!
Marvelous.
Mayor Tang,
I give you my solemn promise
to invest this sum.
A million?
[JP
How much is up?
A hundred times that.
Get it?
How much is 100 times what he said?
One hundred million.
Oh, I see.
Idiot! Don't you understand basic math?
And when that day comes,
Mayor Tang, you'll be worth millions.
The same goes for you, ladies and gentlemen!
It's quite possible.
Now, don't get too emotional.
Sometimes all it takes is an instant to make our dreams come true.
I can understand your mind.
You're all going to be rich!
Congratulations!
But you've got to start digging!
No need to thank me.
We need to start digging right away.
Let's dig!
Dig dig dig!
On your back! My body's a treasure...
so dig in.
Anything else?
Where's the rest?
Hand it over!
It's in here.
I've seen this before. Where'd you get it?
From Boss Mao. Here's another one.
It's the same as mine.
Where'd you get this?
From Boss Mao.
- It's his? - Yeah.
These all belong to boss Mao.
These belong to him?
Yes.
We won't steal again.
At least we'll try not to.
Officer Li
it's Mayor Tang.
Someone's cheating me! What should I do?
Mayor Tang...
who's cheating you?
Who is it?
Are you sure you're not mistaken?
There's no mistake!
It's true and I've got proof!
In that case
the usual thing would be to go to the police.
Ah, times have changed.
There are too many swindlers
who'll do anything for a profit.
There's no morality anymore.
Ethics have gone with the wind.
The world's going to shit.
But tell me, who's cheating you?
I might as well tell you.
My girlfriend.
This is about a woman?
It's your girlfriend.
Hello?
Come over for lunch.
Liar! You've been lying to me all along!
Psychopath!
You're a good man, sir.
You've breathed new life into this town
and we're grateful.
It's destiny.
I hope this will be a win-win
situation for all of us.
Win-win.
Between the digging and the performances,
these folks are working themselves to the bone.
That's why I came to talk to you
about paying them for their labor.
Just name a price.
You're one of us now.
Tell me how much you need,
and I'll gladly pay it.
Fellow citizens!
We ask for your patience as we explore new sales channels for our tomatoes.
What channels?
We've got a bumper crop of tomatoes
and nowhere to sell them!
Yes.
Let me explain.
The planting, harvesting,
canning and marketing of tomatoes
is a vertically-integrated production chain developed by the county government.
Who knew our investors would pull out?
Right?
We can only offer our sincerest apologies.
Chairman?
I'm busy. What do you want?
I'll pay top dollar for all your tomatoes
if you'll sign off on my tourism plan.
Have you lost your mind?
What do you want with tomatoes?
Hello? Hello?
All right, suit yourself.
The international resort of Shamatown
would like to organize a large-scale event,
a Tomato Party Festival.
Yes, I want you to publicize it for us.
Of course, continuous publicity.
It has to be continuous
with the biggest page layout.
Stop! We're here.
Why do you need so many tomatoes, snot-face?
Where'd you get the cash?
I expect change.
If I throw in some extra trucks of tomatoes
can I keep the change?
Sure.
Just approve my plan.
Come on, I'll treat you to a drink.
I don't drink.
A meal,
Then. Let's go!
Let's go... we can talk business while we eat.
If you decide to invest in a tomato
canning plant in our county.
I guarantee it'll be smooth sailing.
You'll have my full support.
What about my plan? You promised
Mr. Huang...
I tell you, Mr. Huang...
My name's Zhou.
Right, Huang, the whole county thanks you.
Yes, yes, |see.
Go fetch Spring. And make it quick.
My sister doesn't want to come. I'm here to take her place.
Step aside.
Mr. Director, a toast.
Cheers.
Brother Zhang.
Oh god, not again.
One more.
Lightweight.
What are you plotting?
You're not going to kill me to shut me up, are you?
We're rich!
Who's in here?
Oh, shit!
What is this place?
You found the treasure! You did it!
Come sit over here.
Over where?
Why don't you two have a drink?
Go on, that's it.
Look, he downed his.
- Forget about it. - No, come on, drink!
Light.
Give him a light.
Drinking game!
You serious?
Bring it on.
Two little honeybees, flying through the trees.
You lose.
I'll drink for her.
Scram!
Fill 'er up.
Let me play.
Two little honeybees, flying through the flowers...
You lost again.
One, two, three! One, two...
What's going on?
You've all been working very hard.
So we've come to help you!
Carry on.
On the count of three, okay?
One, two, three...!
What is this?
Wahaha Wahaha, smiles are beaming on everyone's faces.
It's empty?
Everybody here, please start searching.
What's in here?
It's a bandit's hideout.
Bombs!
Why would there be bombs in here?
What are you so pleased about?
You like your new boyfriend?
Maybe I do.
Spring!
You're a goddess!
Why'd you do that?
Dragon Tiger Village.
Mayor Tang!
Mr. Mayor, you're drunk.
Don't invest in that tomato factory.
Ow... why does my back hurt?
Last night, you were singing.
I was singing?
Was I dancing, too?
Yeah, that's how you sprained your back.
No wonder it hurts.
Director, about approving my plan...
Here.
In this case, you help me and I'll help you.
What case?
Give her the ring. I can't do it myself.
Give it to your mother!
Go give it to your mother!
I just don't understand...
why we left.
It's a road trip.
Mr. Zhou, I found this old bandit slang online.
Dragon is the tail of the sea.
Tiger is the mouth of the earth.
That's right.
I read in a local almanac
that Shamatown used to be called Dragon Tiger Village.
It was named after two mountains.
Say that again.
It was named after two mountains.
Dragon and tiger refer to mountains.
Tail Mountain and Mouth Peak.
The treasure's not in Shamatown at all.
It's between those two mountains.
Right, Mr. Zhou?
This was a wild goose chase.
Shamatown was just a big waste of time.
Once a peasant, always a peasant. Look at this crackerjack ring!
Show me your hands.
What?
Give it!
Tang GGOPGHQ!
If you keep hitting me, I'll hit back!
You tricked me!
Tang Gaopeeeeng!
I'm going to murder you!
- You son-of-a... - Hi, mayor.
You know, you really shouldn't gamble.
I won't stop.
If you stop I won't hack you.
I'll stop if you put the blade down!
Mayor Tang! A reporter from Gansu TV
coming to cover the Tomato Party Festival asks if travel expenses are being reimbursed.
You know what?
I'm going to keep the ring.
I'll marry Chairman Lu,
move to the city
and live the good life.
Anything's better than staying with you!
Maybe I'll even have his baby.
Wish me luck.
Mayor!
Boss Mao said there's no treasure, then he left!
Leave me alone!
Wait, who left?
Boss Mao.
He's gone?
What is that?
It's called a hexagonal-crystal- meteorite-diamond-luminous-pearl.
So, is it a pearl or a diamond or a meteorite?
Diamonds, like regular crystals, have a linear molecular structure.
But this appears to have an
hexagonal crystal formation.
There's no gem on earth quite like it.
What's it worth?
It's one of a kind, priceless.
Mr. Zhou!
Boss Mao!
How's it going?
I knew you'd come through for us.
I just told everyone there's no way
you'd ever run off
and abandon us.
Hu Shuanzi's buried treasure...
This thing...
we'd never have found it on our own.
This is... the Giant Strand of Pearls!
Giant pearls! Give me, I want to see!
And this here is... the Golden Buddha!
The Golden Buddha! We have pay our respects to it, don't we?
Mianbing, quick! Pay your respects to it for me!
What are you doing?
It cut the telephone line.
What's this thing?
Hey, stop it... that's dangerous!
I can't get through to the police.
So try another phone.
None of them are working.
And this is called the... Golden Triangle!
They must have cut the teephone wires.
Send someone on horseback, while we distract them.
How?
A drinking contest.
Get them wasted!
Rock, paper, scissors! Drink!
Darling, darling, you're my darling.
I'll kill you!
Who's the mayor here?
That'd be me. What's your name?
Tang Gaopeng.
Do you know who these people are?
Sure, of course.
Look at this.
They're wanted for swindling.
Yep, that's them!
We'll need the suspects and the objects as evidence.
Cuff 'em.
Please assist these noble police comrades in their efforts!
And a round of applause for these fine officers!
Apologies for the inconvenience.
The policemen were fake.
The policemen were fake?
What?
Chief Li from the Public Security Bureau didn't come.
They have to go through the Public Security Bureau.
Prepare for battle. We must ward off a counterattack!
Let's get rid of Tang Gaopeng.
This place has bad karma.
You do what you have to,
but I'm going back to Taiwan.
And I've got an important auction in Hong Kong next month.
I'm going back...
to wipe out Shamatown.
You had it coming.
Boss Mao...
how about you let her go,
and I'll show you where the treasure is?
Sure.
Shall we?
You think I need your care?
You're my responsibility.
Who says I'm yours?
Then whose responsibility are you?
Right, you belong to Chairman Lu.
Weren't you going to find Chairman Lu?
Go find him.
Just try hitting him again.
Do that again and I'll kill you!
Stop fighting! Let's go find the treasure.
Boss Mao come on, let's go get the treasure!
Ladies and gentlemen.
The 1st Annual Shamatown Tomato Madness Festival
has officially begun.
Would that you'd come often! Seize this day!
Are you meeting Chairman Lu?
Are you?
He's coming to pick me up.
Tell him to bring me, too.
Why?
So he can emcee our wedding.
- Screw you! - Let's go!
Where's Tang?
Agggh... my eyes! My eyes! I'm blind!
I like it Wild!
Darling.
There is a war raging outside.
In the event that I
might not make it
there would a lot on my heart that I would never have told you.
Why don't you just focus on protecting the treasures.
Darling...
What?
Let me hold you.
- Someone's knocking. - I know.
- I'd better see who it is. - Okay.
There's no one here.
Look out!
Lemme through!
I'm going to kill that fox!
Kill her! Kill her!
Shameless fox!
Kill her! Kill! Kill!
Awesome.
Stop!
Uh, Spring?
Go ahead, shoot me.
Get out of the way. Shoot me!
No, shoot me!
This isn't your fight! Shoot me!
Do it.
Listen, this no time to be...
Stop!
Happy now?
We'll settle two scores at once.
I don't know, Tang...
these guns look pretty old.
It only takes one shot.
Good point.
We're a lot alike, you know.
I think if we gave it a chance,
you and I could become good friends.
Tang GGOPGHQ!
I love you.
For a long time.
I want to have your baby.
Someone stole the treasure!
Fools. Stupid peasants.
Tang GGOPGHQ!
In my foolish melancholy youth,
I thought that's all there was...
Think you can steal our treasure?
I'm bringing you back to town!
You're wrong. I didn't steal anything.
My backpack's empty. I'm just pretending to be a tourist.
Here, take it!
If you keep following me, I swear I'll shoot you!
You wouldn't!
Just try me.
Okay, right between the eyes!
Oh, you're picky now?
It's my gun,
I'll shoot you anywhere I want!
Between the eyes!
Amitabha Buddha,
please forgive me.
Pay me back my horse!
What is it with you?
Okay, okay, I'll Pay!
- Promise? - I'll give you 2 horses.
- You swear? - Yes
but first just hear me out.
There's no need to act this way.
Listen, mayor.
Isn't it obvious?
I could have shot you, but I couldn't be bothered.
You're not worth the trouble, see?
Plus, the villagers need you.
You're an excellent mayor.
That's true.
You're a young man.
And you've got a girlfriend, right?
Yeah.
You should treasure that. Life is a gift.
Don't be rash.
Take my advice, son, and go home.
- I will. - Good decision.
If you'll come with me.
Godammit.
Godammit, I'm not going anywhere with you!
You're a liar and a cheat!
You're a bigger liar!
You cheated me twice!
You're worse. You've been lying to me the whole time!
You're a big fat liar!
I dare you to spit on me again!
Take that!
And that!
Boom! Boom-boom!
You're out of bullets.
I can still throw!
Just try and chase me now.
I haven't hit a man in 5 years.
Damn
Mr. Zhou!
How dare you.
You're a hero...
You are my friend.
I know! I know!
Come on!
Daijoobu, my friend.
My friend, you're a hero.
I know! My friend.
Nobody knows you are a hero.
Nobody knows...
You finished.
Congratulation.
Bastard.
In 2009,
China drew 12,900 overseas visitors
while domestically, tourists numbered over 1.3 billion.
Tourism generates 890 billion yuan per year...
Hello?
What's the project called?
Impressions of Shamatown?
Are you kidding me?
Put him on the phone.
Zhang Yimou! No way, I can't believe it's really you!
Oh, sorry, sorry about that...
But seriously,
if this project pans out,
if we break out of Asia and go global,
you'll have the gratitude of Shamatown.