1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:06,108 Heads up! Good defense! 3 00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:07,735 Good defense! 4 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,450 Hmm! 5 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,599 Oh. 6 00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:06,418 We're going downtown. 7 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,806 Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt. 8 00:02:19,474 --> 00:02:20,599 What do you want? 9 00:02:20,809 --> 00:02:25,729 HDS, sir. How are you this afternoon? Alrighty, then. I have a package for you. 10 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,275 It sounds broken. 11 00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:35,239 Most likely. I'll bet it was something nice. This is an insurance form. 12 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:37,658 If you'll just sign here, here, and here... 13 00:02:37,826 --> 00:02:40,994 ...initial here, we'll get the rest of the forms to you as soon as we can. 14 00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:46,834 That's a lovely dog you have there, sir. 15 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,545 - Do you mind if I pet him? - I don't give a rat's ass. 16 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,547 Alrighty, then. 17 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,268 Oh, brother. 18 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,520 That's fine. I can finish the rest. 19 00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:10,357 You just have yourself a good day. Take care now. Bye-bye, then. 20 00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,830 Excuse me! HDS! 21 00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:26,915 HDS! Coming through! 22 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,584 Got a package, people! 23 00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:44,558 Get away from the door. 24 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,606 What's the matter with you? I said, get! 25 00:03:56,154 --> 00:03:57,237 Son of a bitch! 26 00:03:58,031 --> 00:04:00,449 That was a close one! 27 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:01,783 Unfortunately... 28 00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:05,370 ...in every contest, there must be a loser. 29 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:09,333 Loser. 30 00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:18,175 Hungry, fella? 31 00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:24,181 There you go. 32 00:04:28,645 --> 00:04:31,980 No problem. It gets flooded. We'll just wait a few seconds. 33 00:04:34,192 --> 00:04:35,233 Or we can try it now. 34 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:36,568 Putz! 35 00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:37,861 Come on! 36 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,364 Get out! Get out! 37 00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:46,161 Warning: Assholes are closer than they appear! 38 00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:53,043 Uh, you wanna give me a push while you're back there? 39 00:04:55,088 --> 00:04:57,172 Alrighty, then! 40 00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:01,843 Ha, ha! It's alive! 41 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,762 It's alive! 42 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:52,144 My little baby, come here. You missed Mommy, didn't you? 43 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:56,815 Yes, you did. Did Daddy hurt you? I won't let him. No, I won't. 44 00:05:57,442 --> 00:06:02,154 He can keep the big TV, but he's not gonna hurt my baby, no he's not. 45 00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,868 Thank you, Mr. Ventura. 46 00:06:10,872 --> 00:06:12,664 How can I ever repay you? 47 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,249 A reward would be good. 48 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:18,545 There is some damage to my car, and I had to fill it with premium. 49 00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:25,093 Would you like for me to take your pants off instead? 50 00:06:26,471 --> 00:06:29,139 Gee, let me think. 51 00:06:29,474 --> 00:06:30,724 Sure. 52 00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,895 Whoa, jeez. 53 00:06:35,063 --> 00:06:37,898 Oh. For the love of Pete! 54 00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:42,652 People are real friendly around here. Whoa! 55 00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:21,042 And now, let's meet our contestants. 56 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,752 First... 57 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,187 Ventura! 58 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,899 Yes, Satan? 59 00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:47,944 I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else. 60 00:08:48,154 --> 00:08:50,739 Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura. 61 00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:54,743 You owe me rent. 62 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:58,079 Mr. Shickadance, I told you, you're my first priority. 63 00:08:58,331 --> 00:09:01,875 I'm on a very big case right now. Check this out. 64 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,920 Look at that. That's a true albino pigeon. 65 00:09:05,171 --> 00:09:08,506 Some rich guy lost it. He's offering a $25,000 reward. 66 00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:10,717 As soon as I find this bird... 67 00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:11,885 ...you're paid. 68 00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:14,596 I heard animals in there. 69 00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:17,641 I heard them again this morning, scratching around. 70 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,893 I never bring my work home with me. 71 00:09:20,186 --> 00:09:21,436 Oh, yeah? 72 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:24,481 What's all this pet food for? 73 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:27,234 Fiber. 74 00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:30,320 Wanna take a look inside? Come on! 75 00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,280 Come on! 76 00:09:44,669 --> 00:09:46,670 Go ahead. Snoop around! 77 00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:00,934 Well? 78 00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:02,894 Are you satisfied? 79 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:09,734 Just don't let me catch you with an animal in here. That's all. 80 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,236 All right. 81 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:13,780 Take care, now. Bye-bye, then. 82 00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,033 Loser! 83 00:10:44,312 --> 00:10:45,979 Come to me, jungle friends. 84 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:04,039 Roger, let me ask you one question. 85 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,958 How in hell do you lose a 500-pound fish? 86 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:09,878 What? 87 00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:12,005 I'm sorry, I was just going to say... 88 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:15,050 ...that it's not a fish. It's a mammal. 89 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:16,801 Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau. 90 00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:19,554 Don, she didn't mean anything by that. 91 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:23,099 I don't give a good goddamn about that fish! 92 00:11:23,309 --> 00:11:25,727 Fillet it and fast-food it if you want to! 93 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:29,314 All I give a damn about is winning the Super Bowl! 94 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:33,193 My athletes have got to have their heads in the right place. 95 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:37,614 Shit, Roger. You've been in this business a long time. 96 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:40,867 You know how superstitious these players are. 97 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:45,580 I have a quarterback that's put his socks on backwards since high school. 98 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:49,918 I've got a linebacker that hasn't washed his jockey strap in two years... 99 00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:52,879 ...because he thinks flies are lucky. 100 00:11:53,214 --> 00:11:56,841 I want that fish on that field Super Bowl Sunday. 101 00:11:57,093 --> 00:11:58,593 Find the fish... 102 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,512 ...or find new jobs! 103 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,640 Why did it happen now, two weeks before the Super Bowl? 104 00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,810 I'll tell you, it's those animal-rights activists! 105 00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,770 Always out with their signs: 106 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:11,940 "Animals were born free. Stop torturing Snowflake. " 107 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:14,234 That fish lives better than they do. 108 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:19,114 The police are checking into the animal- rights groups. Have they called back? 109 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:22,617 No, but I wanted to tell you, when I lost my Cuddles... 110 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,661 ...I hired a pet detective. 111 00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:26,246 A what? 112 00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:28,998 A pet detective. 113 00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:33,378 Thanks, Martha, but we better leave this to professionals. 114 00:12:33,671 --> 00:12:35,797 Well, actually, he was quite good. 115 00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:40,677 Pet detection is a very involved, highly scientific process. 116 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,900 Like a glove. 117 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,245 Uh, Mr. Ventura here to see you. 118 00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,331 Thanks, Martha. 119 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,124 Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson. 120 00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:54,626 Pleasure to meet you. 121 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,753 Any trouble getting in? 122 00:13:57,087 --> 00:14:01,216 No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. 123 00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:05,011 - Uh, security's tight Super Bowl week. - Ah. 124 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:07,972 Why don't you have a seat? I'll get right to the point. 125 00:14:08,516 --> 00:14:13,311 Our mascot was stolen from his tank last night. Are you familiar with Snowflake? 126 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,729 Negative. 127 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,608 We got him from Miami. He's a rare bottle-nosed dolphin. 128 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:22,153 This is a new trick he was going to do for the halftime show. 129 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,615 Let's go. Blue 42, blue 42. 130 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,033 Hut, hut. 131 00:14:30,788 --> 00:14:32,247 All right. 132 00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:38,628 Come on, let's go. 133 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,134 Good boy. 134 00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:55,019 Would you like an ashtray? 135 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:57,981 I don't smoke. 136 00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:00,316 It's a disgusting habit. 137 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,699 The police came today. 138 00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:11,119 Apparently, the kidnappers came in through the back with a- 139 00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:14,539 Four-wheel-drive van, loaded from the rear. 140 00:15:14,707 --> 00:15:17,542 - Ugh. - Roger, how you holding up? 141 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,796 If I'm walking funny it's because I got two dozen reporters up my ass. 142 00:15:22,006 --> 00:15:25,091 They've been asking me about Snowflake all morning. 143 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,345 Who's he? 144 00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:32,015 Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura. 145 00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:34,100 He's our pet detective. 146 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:39,188 Nice to meet you. You came very highly recommended by Martha Mertz. 147 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,815 Martha Mertz? 148 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,651 Oh, yeah, the bitch. 149 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:44,861 What? 150 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:49,574 Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area. She was half-dead when I found her. 151 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,159 Is that the tank? 152 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,202 Excuse me. 153 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,632 - Cops drain it? - Yes, this morning. 154 00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:09,677 If I'm not back in five minutes... 155 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,387 ...just wait longer. 156 00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,864 Captain's log, stardate 23.9... 157 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,492 ...rounded off to the nearest decimal point. 158 00:16:32,785 --> 00:16:37,914 We've traveled back in time to save an ancient species from annihilation. 159 00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:39,290 So far... 160 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:43,795 ...no signs of aquatic life, but I am going to find it. 161 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:47,256 If I have to tear another black hole, I'm going to find it. 162 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:51,052 I've got to, mister. 163 00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:04,440 Oh, great. 164 00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:06,651 I'll try to head them off. 165 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,861 Ace, get out of the tank. 166 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,738 I just can't do it, captain. 167 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,907 I don't have the power. 168 00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:16,661 People. 169 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,247 I said, get out of the tank now. 170 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:23,126 For God's sake, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool man. 171 00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:24,794 Where's Snowflake? 172 00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:28,005 Snowflake is not available right now. 173 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:32,677 Roger, I've been waiting all day. I got to get a shot of his new trick for the evening news. 174 00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,429 What, is he sick? 175 00:17:37,429 --> 00:17:38,930 People, people. 176 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,722 How can I get the work done mit all the shouting? 177 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,324 What's wrong mit ze shouting?! 178 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,626 Who the hell is that? 179 00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:48,728 That's... 180 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,869 Heinz Gezwellwert, I'm trainer of dolphins. 181 00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:57,373 You want to talk to the dolphin, you talk to me. 182 00:17:57,676 --> 00:17:59,371 What happened to the regular trainer? 183 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,804 Vhat happened to him? Vhat happened to me?! 184 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,773 It's seven years I'm making the grade. 185 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:07,852 We are making the dolphins disappear, und then Roy is coming... 186 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,513 ...mit the vhite tiger, und the stuffing in the pants... 187 00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:11,554 ...und I'm gone! 188 00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:13,957 Where is Snowflake? 189 00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:17,457 Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? 190 00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:20,859 Does he call you at home? Do you have a dorsal fin? 191 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:24,733 To train the dolphin you must think like the dolphin. 192 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:28,872 You must be getting unside the dolphin's head und communicating. 193 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,601 I'm saying to Snowflake... 194 00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:32,875 Und he is saying... 195 00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:34,904 Und he is up on the tail... 196 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,510 Und you can quote him! 197 00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:43,814 All right, it's just about time for Coach Shula's press conference. 198 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:48,922 So why don't I take you folks over that way and let... Heinz... 199 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,427 Go to the conference. Go to it. 200 00:18:53,096 --> 00:18:54,227 People, People! 201 00:19:25,602 --> 00:19:26,978 Hmm. 202 00:19:57,176 --> 00:19:59,010 Lassie must be missing. 203 00:20:01,096 --> 00:20:03,139 Hey, Ventura. Ventura. 204 00:20:03,807 --> 00:20:05,266 Make any good collars lately? 205 00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:07,226 Or were they leashes? 206 00:20:12,774 --> 00:20:14,483 Uh-oh. 207 00:20:16,862 --> 00:20:18,613 Homicide, Ventura. 208 00:20:19,948 --> 00:20:22,200 How are you gonna solve that one? 209 00:20:25,537 --> 00:20:27,580 Good question, Aguado. 210 00:20:27,831 --> 00:20:29,248 First, I'd establish a motive. 211 00:20:29,499 --> 00:20:34,212 The killer saw the size of the bug's dick and became insanely jealous. 212 00:20:34,421 --> 00:20:36,005 Ooh. 213 00:20:37,341 --> 00:20:41,260 Then I'd lose 30 pounds porking his wife. 214 00:20:42,387 --> 00:20:43,721 Come on. 215 00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:47,683 Now, kiss and make up. 216 00:20:52,147 --> 00:20:53,272 Excuse me. 217 00:20:53,523 --> 00:20:56,025 I'd like to ass you a few questions. 218 00:20:56,276 --> 00:20:58,069 This is not the time, Ace. 219 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:02,907 If Einhorn come down here and see me talking to you or your ass, I'm history. 220 00:21:03,575 --> 00:21:08,287 I can keep him under control. You have to tell me who's on the Snowflake case. 221 00:21:08,538 --> 00:21:11,958 I can't do nothing for you on that. My hands are tied. 222 00:21:12,209 --> 00:21:15,544 All right, that's it. Now it's my turn. 223 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:18,214 Five minutes alone, that's all I need. 224 00:21:18,465 --> 00:21:21,217 Better look alive. Einhorn's on her way down. 225 00:21:21,385 --> 00:21:23,970 - Ooh, bom, ba-bom bom. - Come on, now. Ace, please. 226 00:21:24,221 --> 00:21:28,349 What's that matter? Afraid I'll make a stink? Huh? Come on. 227 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,810 Aguado's working the case, all right? 228 00:21:31,144 --> 00:21:32,979 - Aguado. - Aguado? 229 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,730 Good call. 230 00:21:35,023 --> 00:21:37,066 We're just a little busy now... 231 00:21:37,276 --> 00:21:41,153 ...with murderers and burglaries and drug dealers. Things like that. 232 00:21:41,405 --> 00:21:44,365 A missing dolphin isn't exactly a high priority. 233 00:21:48,245 --> 00:21:49,954 Now you've pissed him off. 234 00:21:51,248 --> 00:21:54,375 - Would you give me a break? - I can't hold him much longer. 235 00:21:54,626 --> 00:21:55,626 My boss is coming. 236 00:21:57,129 --> 00:21:58,754 Okay, look. 237 00:21:59,089 --> 00:22:01,716 We ran a check with local animal-rights groups. 238 00:22:01,967 --> 00:22:06,095 We checked out the taxidermists and we already checked on van rentals. 239 00:22:06,346 --> 00:22:09,557 So far, nothing, nathin', nada. All right? 240 00:22:10,475 --> 00:22:12,059 Any unusual bets being made? 241 00:22:12,311 --> 00:22:14,312 Of course. This is Super Bowl. 242 00:22:14,604 --> 00:22:17,148 - What'd you find out about the tank? - Nothing. 243 00:22:17,357 --> 00:22:20,609 Tire tracks, an escape route. A guard didn't see anything. 244 00:22:21,778 --> 00:22:23,362 - That's it? - I swear. 245 00:22:23,572 --> 00:22:26,824 Now will you please get out of here before I get in trouble? 246 00:22:30,162 --> 00:22:31,996 Thank you for your cooperation. 247 00:22:32,581 --> 00:22:35,207 By the way, do you have a mint? 248 00:22:35,667 --> 00:22:37,668 Perhaps some Binaca? 249 00:22:50,015 --> 00:22:52,600 Assholomio 250 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,686 Osadomia 251 00:22:58,982 --> 00:23:02,276 Holy testicle Tuesday. 252 00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:05,613 What the hell is he doing here? 253 00:23:06,031 --> 00:23:07,448 I came to confess. 254 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:11,202 I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. 255 00:23:11,995 --> 00:23:16,374 Spare me the routine. I know you're working the Snowflake case. 256 00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:20,544 May I suggest you yield to the experts on this one? 257 00:23:20,837 --> 00:23:23,005 We'll find the porpoise. 258 00:23:24,007 --> 00:23:25,549 Phew. 259 00:23:26,009 --> 00:23:27,468 Now I feel better. 260 00:23:28,428 --> 00:23:31,847 Of course, that might not do any good. 261 00:23:32,057 --> 00:23:35,601 Nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken. 262 00:23:35,852 --> 00:23:38,521 The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout... 263 00:23:38,730 --> 00:23:42,817 ...while the bottle-nosed dolphin, or Tursiops truncatus... 264 00:23:43,026 --> 00:23:47,530 ...has an elongated beak, cone-shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. 265 00:23:47,781 --> 00:23:50,491 But I'm sure you already knew that. 266 00:23:50,826 --> 00:23:53,077 That's what turns me on about you. 267 00:23:53,328 --> 00:23:54,912 Your attention to detail. 268 00:23:55,664 --> 00:23:57,498 Listen, pet dick... 269 00:23:58,083 --> 00:24:01,710 ...how would you like me to make your life a living hell? 270 00:24:02,546 --> 00:24:06,048 Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois. 271 00:24:06,341 --> 00:24:08,259 But thank you for asking. 272 00:24:12,806 --> 00:24:14,807 Maybe I'll give you a call sometime. 273 00:24:15,016 --> 00:24:16,392 Your number still 911? 274 00:24:16,643 --> 00:24:18,477 Alrighty, then. 275 00:24:57,767 --> 00:24:59,935 Excuse me. Is Greg here? 276 00:25:00,937 --> 00:25:02,146 Thank you. 277 00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:24,835 What's the password? 278 00:25:25,086 --> 00:25:27,671 New England clam chowder. 279 00:25:28,173 --> 00:25:30,841 Is that the red or the white? 280 00:25:32,177 --> 00:25:34,011 I can never remember that. 281 00:25:35,013 --> 00:25:36,180 White? 282 00:25:40,477 --> 00:25:41,602 Hey, Woodstock. 283 00:25:41,770 --> 00:25:43,771 Hey, Saint Francis, how's it going? 284 00:25:44,022 --> 00:25:47,483 Super, thanks for asking. I hope you're having a lovely day. 285 00:25:47,734 --> 00:25:48,734 Do you? 286 00:25:48,985 --> 00:25:50,194 Don't I? 287 00:25:51,154 --> 00:25:53,197 So what are you up to? 288 00:25:53,448 --> 00:25:55,991 Just watching the fishies. 289 00:25:56,201 --> 00:25:59,411 You see those blips? That's a Norwegian whaling fleet. 290 00:26:00,121 --> 00:26:03,499 I'm sending them new directional coordinates. 291 00:26:03,959 --> 00:26:05,960 They'll find Jimmy Hoffa... 292 00:26:06,169 --> 00:26:08,003 ...before they find any whales. 293 00:26:08,255 --> 00:26:12,841 Ha, ha. Gravy. So can you still tap into the aquatic supply stores in the area? 294 00:26:13,093 --> 00:26:14,426 Of course I can. Why? 295 00:26:14,678 --> 00:26:16,845 I wanna trace the sale of equipment... 296 00:26:17,097 --> 00:26:20,015 ...for transporting or housing a dolphin recently. 297 00:26:20,267 --> 00:26:23,352 Come on, I thought you had a challenge for me. 298 00:26:23,645 --> 00:26:28,357 All right, we got marine winch, sling, feeder fish, 20,000-gallon tank- 299 00:26:29,317 --> 00:26:31,652 Wait a minute. Look here. 300 00:26:32,487 --> 00:26:35,781 That's a lot of equipment for a civilian. 301 00:26:36,116 --> 00:26:37,908 Ronald Camp? The billionaire? 302 00:26:38,159 --> 00:26:40,578 Billionaire and rare-fish collector. 303 00:26:40,829 --> 00:26:44,623 Really? 304 00:26:45,208 --> 00:26:46,875 That is the face of the enemy. 305 00:26:47,586 --> 00:26:50,879 Always trying to get his greedy hands on endangered species. 306 00:26:51,631 --> 00:26:52,631 Hold on. 307 00:26:52,841 --> 00:26:54,717 Camp is connected with the dolphins? 308 00:26:54,968 --> 00:26:58,596 That subgenius gave them the land the stadium's built on. 309 00:26:58,930 --> 00:27:04,018 And look, he's throwing another "I'm the richest man in the universe" party. 310 00:27:04,769 --> 00:27:06,228 Hmm. 311 00:27:06,605 --> 00:27:10,024 Looks like it's time for me to get myself a date. 312 00:27:15,697 --> 00:27:20,659 I'm really going out on a limb here. His social events are strictly A list. 313 00:27:20,952 --> 00:27:25,914 The date started good, Chuck, but before we got to the party, she tensed up. 314 00:27:26,458 --> 00:27:28,667 If you do anything to embarrass me... 315 00:27:28,918 --> 00:27:30,794 What? Like this? 316 00:27:35,925 --> 00:27:38,844 Ow. Hi, Captain Stubing. 317 00:27:39,095 --> 00:27:40,679 How are Gopher and Doc? 318 00:27:41,389 --> 00:27:43,390 Permission to come aboard, sir. 319 00:27:46,519 --> 00:27:47,936 Woof. 320 00:28:02,994 --> 00:28:04,536 I'm sorry, ladies. 321 00:28:04,788 --> 00:28:06,372 Melissa. 322 00:28:06,665 --> 00:28:09,333 - Hi, Ron. - Glad you could make it. 323 00:28:09,626 --> 00:28:11,085 Thank you. 324 00:28:12,504 --> 00:28:13,712 You look wonderful. 325 00:28:13,922 --> 00:28:15,255 Oh, thanks. 326 00:28:15,882 --> 00:28:17,675 And who is he, a friend? 327 00:28:19,177 --> 00:28:21,845 No, this is- This is my date. 328 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,432 He's a lawyer. 329 00:28:25,684 --> 00:28:28,811 Does he have a name, or should I call him "Lawyer"? 330 00:28:28,978 --> 00:28:32,439 Ha, ha. Hoo. Ha, ha. 331 00:28:32,649 --> 00:28:34,733 I'm sorry. This is Ace V- 332 00:28:34,901 --> 00:28:38,487 - Um, Tom Ace. - Tom Ace. 333 00:28:38,697 --> 00:28:40,114 Pleasure to meet you. 334 00:28:40,323 --> 00:28:42,324 Congratulations on all your success. 335 00:28:42,575 --> 00:28:44,076 You smell terrific. 336 00:28:44,703 --> 00:28:47,246 One of the first lessons we learned... 337 00:28:47,455 --> 00:28:48,580 ...back at... 338 00:28:48,832 --> 00:28:53,961 ...Stanford was the growth of food-poisoning claims against wealthy people. 339 00:28:54,254 --> 00:28:57,548 One could make quite a lucrative law practice... 340 00:28:57,757 --> 00:28:59,007 ...with little else. 341 00:29:01,219 --> 00:29:03,303 How is everybody feeling tonight? 342 00:29:04,097 --> 00:29:06,098 Very, very well, thank you. 343 00:29:07,016 --> 00:29:08,183 Look, honey... 344 00:29:08,435 --> 00:29:10,185 ...there's the hors d'oeuvres. 345 00:29:11,396 --> 00:29:12,688 Excuse me. 346 00:29:17,444 --> 00:29:21,071 Are you insane? There is no way that Camp stole Snowflake. 347 00:29:21,614 --> 00:29:23,657 What are you trying to do? 348 00:29:28,079 --> 00:29:31,415 Will you keep him occupied while I work my magic, please? 349 00:29:37,297 --> 00:29:38,922 Smooshy, isn't it? 350 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,602 We got a few cases from my new dealer in Paris. 351 00:29:52,687 --> 00:29:54,188 Excuse me, Ron... 352 00:29:54,439 --> 00:29:56,440 ...I, uh, need to use the bathroom. 353 00:29:56,691 --> 00:29:58,901 I think it's the pate. 354 00:29:59,152 --> 00:30:00,527 Sure, it's over there. 355 00:30:00,695 --> 00:30:04,782 Thanks. Ha, ha. Stuff probably looks better on the way out. 356 00:30:07,285 --> 00:30:08,952 Oh, God. 357 00:30:12,290 --> 00:30:14,750 He wasn't feeling well earlier today. 358 00:31:53,892 --> 00:31:55,100 Gravy. 359 00:31:58,730 --> 00:32:00,397 Don't worry, Snowflake. 360 00:32:00,648 --> 00:32:02,357 Ace Ventura's here. 361 00:32:05,695 --> 00:32:06,987 Yummy. 362 00:32:26,215 --> 00:32:27,507 Snowflake. 363 00:32:29,093 --> 00:32:30,677 Here, Snowflake. 364 00:32:32,013 --> 00:32:34,014 I've got a snack for you. 365 00:32:48,488 --> 00:32:50,238 They're wonderful, aren't they? 366 00:32:50,949 --> 00:32:52,950 Yes, they certainly are. 367 00:32:53,785 --> 00:32:55,994 No matter what's going on in my life... 368 00:32:56,245 --> 00:32:58,288 ...I can always watch them swim... 369 00:32:58,623 --> 00:33:00,958 ...and be totally at peace. 370 00:33:08,383 --> 00:33:09,967 It's not Snowflake. 371 00:33:10,802 --> 00:33:12,427 It's not Snowflake. 372 00:33:13,930 --> 00:33:16,598 It's not Snowflake. 373 00:33:35,410 --> 00:33:37,494 Are you sure your date is all right? 374 00:33:37,745 --> 00:33:39,621 It's been an awfully long time. 375 00:33:39,872 --> 00:33:41,206 Who, Tom? 376 00:33:41,457 --> 00:33:43,709 Well, I'm sure he's fine. 377 00:33:54,429 --> 00:33:56,430 Do not go in there. 378 00:33:57,098 --> 00:33:58,682 Whoo! 379 00:34:10,278 --> 00:34:13,989 I'm sorry. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately. 380 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:18,326 Do that. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed. 381 00:34:18,578 --> 00:34:20,704 I'm sorry again, Mr. Ace. 382 00:34:26,544 --> 00:34:28,003 What're you doing? 383 00:34:28,254 --> 00:34:29,755 I'm sorry, Ron. 384 00:34:30,006 --> 00:34:31,339 What's he doing? 385 00:34:31,591 --> 00:34:32,966 Let's go. 386 00:34:36,387 --> 00:34:37,846 Stop it. 387 00:34:39,057 --> 00:34:42,100 I don't even wanna know why your pants are missing. 388 00:34:42,351 --> 00:34:44,144 You could've cost me my job. 389 00:34:44,854 --> 00:34:48,440 So you found a pebble in Snowflake's tank. I'll call CNN. 390 00:34:48,691 --> 00:34:50,859 I found it in the filter, thank you. 391 00:34:51,110 --> 00:34:55,572 And it's not a pebble, it's a rare, triangular cut orange amber. 392 00:34:57,241 --> 00:34:58,950 What're you talking about? 393 00:34:59,202 --> 00:35:02,412 Tonight I saw the same stone in Camp's ring. 394 00:35:02,705 --> 00:35:04,790 I thought you said Camp didn't do it. 395 00:35:05,041 --> 00:35:07,459 No, his ring wasn't missing a stone. 396 00:35:07,668 --> 00:35:10,670 But whoever was in that tank had a ring just like his. 397 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,756 Ring? What ring? 398 00:35:15,426 --> 00:35:18,762 The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring. 399 00:35:20,556 --> 00:35:24,476 I find the ring with a missing stone, I find Snowflake. 400 00:35:25,645 --> 00:35:27,395 How you gonna do that? 401 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:30,774 Simple. 402 00:35:38,157 --> 00:35:41,451 Loser. Why don't you learn how to drive, pal? 403 00:35:43,454 --> 00:35:44,746 You wanna play? 404 00:35:45,456 --> 00:35:47,666 Whoo, whoo! 405 00:35:54,674 --> 00:35:55,966 Damn it. 406 00:38:19,402 --> 00:38:21,486 That stone could've come from anywhere. 407 00:38:21,737 --> 00:38:23,405 It could've come from... 408 00:38:23,656 --> 00:38:26,616 ...a necklace or a pendant, an earring. 409 00:38:26,909 --> 00:38:31,162 It came from an '84 AFC championship ring. 410 00:38:35,251 --> 00:38:40,130 Einhorn thinks it may have been an animal-rights group. You know FAN? 411 00:38:40,798 --> 00:38:45,552 Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea, daughter of industrialist Fisher Gamble? 412 00:38:45,761 --> 00:38:47,804 Over half a million members worldwide? 413 00:38:48,014 --> 00:38:49,931 No. Who are they? 414 00:38:50,808 --> 00:38:51,850 Did you know... 415 00:38:52,101 --> 00:38:56,396 ...they sent letters to college teams demanding the release of their mascots? 416 00:38:56,605 --> 00:38:58,148 What do you feed your dog? 417 00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:01,943 Dog food. Why? 418 00:39:02,153 --> 00:39:03,611 He is miserable. 419 00:39:04,155 --> 00:39:05,572 What are you talking about? 420 00:39:05,781 --> 00:39:09,784 He's very unhappy. I feel sorry for him. Bad diet, isolated environment. 421 00:39:10,036 --> 00:39:12,120 It's amazing he's still alive. 422 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:18,376 You're just mad because your stupid pebble theory didn't work out. 423 00:39:18,586 --> 00:39:20,003 You can't express anger. 424 00:39:20,755 --> 00:39:22,839 Yeah? And you're ugly. 425 00:39:24,633 --> 00:39:27,719 I'm not even gonna talk to you. Would you please leave? 426 00:39:27,928 --> 00:39:29,804 Why? So you can beat him? 427 00:39:30,056 --> 00:39:31,097 Fatty. 428 00:39:31,265 --> 00:39:32,557 Heh. You're unbelievable. 429 00:39:33,934 --> 00:39:35,810 Hiring you was the biggest mistake I ever made. 430 00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:38,897 Well, why don't you cry about it, saddlebags? 431 00:39:43,861 --> 00:39:45,403 You like her, huh? 432 00:39:46,238 --> 00:39:47,947 Yeah, she's all right. 433 00:39:50,368 --> 00:39:51,534 Melissa. 434 00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,584 Look, Melissa, I, uh... 435 00:40:03,255 --> 00:40:07,467 I'm here at the North Beach Towers condo complex in north Miami... 436 00:40:07,718 --> 00:40:11,388 ...where Roger Podacter, head of operations for the Miami Dolphins... 437 00:40:11,639 --> 00:40:13,723 ...has apparently committed suicide... 438 00:40:13,974 --> 00:40:17,769 ...allegedly leaping to his death from his 20th-story balcony... 439 00:40:18,020 --> 00:40:21,856 Lieutenant Einhorn of the Miami Police Department has yet to comment. 440 00:40:26,821 --> 00:40:28,279 You okay? 441 00:40:28,656 --> 00:40:31,116 I told you. I was in my apartment... 442 00:40:31,325 --> 00:40:33,118 - ... across the hall. Yes, ma'am. 443 00:40:33,285 --> 00:40:34,911 - I heard a scream... - Uh-huh. 444 00:40:35,162 --> 00:40:37,122 ...so I called the manager. 445 00:40:37,665 --> 00:40:41,042 The place was empty, except for the dog. 446 00:40:41,252 --> 00:40:43,795 I opened the balcony door and looked out... 447 00:40:44,004 --> 00:40:46,172 ...splat, bang, pancake time. 448 00:40:46,424 --> 00:40:47,757 Okay, thank you very much. 449 00:40:47,925 --> 00:40:51,970 I'm gonna leave one of my cards. If you remember anything else, give me a call. 450 00:40:53,806 --> 00:40:55,181 Hi there, fella. 451 00:40:55,433 --> 00:40:56,850 Have a bad night? 452 00:41:07,736 --> 00:41:08,903 So... 453 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,364 ...animals can sense evil. 454 00:41:11,615 --> 00:41:13,450 Who let Dr. Doolittle in? 455 00:41:13,701 --> 00:41:16,202 Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson. 456 00:41:16,454 --> 00:41:20,498 This is police business. We'll let you know if the coroner finds a tick. 457 00:41:24,128 --> 00:41:27,380 Face it- - E, forget it. She's right. 458 00:41:27,631 --> 00:41:28,631 Besides... 459 00:41:28,883 --> 00:41:33,386 ...I wouldn't want someone tracing my steps, pointing out my mistakes. 460 00:41:47,985 --> 00:41:49,235 So... 461 00:41:49,487 --> 00:41:53,281 ...you don't think this is an obvious suicide, Mr. Pet-Detective? 462 00:41:53,866 --> 00:41:58,161 I wouldn't say that. There's plenty of evidence here to support your theory. 463 00:41:58,412 --> 00:42:01,706 Except, of course, for that spot of blood on the railing. 464 00:42:06,587 --> 00:42:08,838 May I tell you what I think happened? 465 00:42:09,089 --> 00:42:10,465 Alrighty, then. 466 00:42:10,674 --> 00:42:14,344 Roger Podacter went out after work, had a few drinks, then came home. 467 00:42:14,595 --> 00:42:18,389 He wasn't alone. Someone else was with him. There was a struggle... 468 00:42:18,599 --> 00:42:21,184 ...and he was thrown over that balcony. 469 00:42:21,393 --> 00:42:23,895 Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide. 470 00:42:24,271 --> 00:42:25,897 He was murdered. 471 00:42:27,650 --> 00:42:29,943 That's a very entertaining story... 472 00:42:30,194 --> 00:42:34,405 ...but real detectives have to worry about that little thing called... 473 00:42:34,698 --> 00:42:36,199 ...evidence. 474 00:42:37,326 --> 00:42:40,620 Uh-oh. I think I heard a toilet flush. 475 00:42:40,871 --> 00:42:43,164 Maybe somebody lost a turtle. 476 00:42:46,752 --> 00:42:48,294 Well, I... 477 00:42:48,921 --> 00:42:51,256 I guess I'm out of my league here. 478 00:42:52,216 --> 00:42:53,216 Einhorn... 479 00:42:53,467 --> 00:42:54,968 Good work. 480 00:42:56,428 --> 00:42:57,720 Ooh. Ow. 481 00:43:02,059 --> 00:43:06,229 Oh, there is just one more thing, lieutenant. 482 00:43:07,022 --> 00:43:09,983 This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor. 483 00:43:10,234 --> 00:43:12,527 - She said she heard a scream. Right? - Right. 484 00:43:12,736 --> 00:43:15,738 And you had to open the balcony door when you came in? 485 00:43:15,990 --> 00:43:19,492 - That's true. - You're sure you had to open this door? 486 00:43:19,743 --> 00:43:20,743 I'm certain. 487 00:43:20,995 --> 00:43:22,996 What's the point, Ventura? 488 00:43:23,706 --> 00:43:25,623 Only this. 489 00:43:38,345 --> 00:43:41,723 This is double-paned, soundproof glass. There is no way... 490 00:43:41,974 --> 00:43:45,560 ...she could have heard Podacter scream on the way down. 491 00:43:45,811 --> 00:43:48,146 The scream she heard came from inside... 492 00:43:48,397 --> 00:43:53,276 ...before he was thrown off the balcony. The murderer closed the door upon going. 493 00:43:54,028 --> 00:43:56,112 Yes. Oh, yeah. 494 00:43:56,363 --> 00:43:58,448 Can you feel that, buddy? 495 00:43:58,616 --> 00:44:00,450 Huh, huh, huh? 496 00:44:00,618 --> 00:44:04,787 I have exorcized the demons. 497 00:44:06,957 --> 00:44:09,500 This house is clear. 498 00:44:10,919 --> 00:44:12,545 - Losers. Get him out of here! 499 00:44:13,130 --> 00:44:16,299 - Losers. Losers. - Let's go, Ace. 500 00:44:17,009 --> 00:44:19,302 Losers. 501 00:44:20,804 --> 00:44:21,804 Come on. 502 00:44:22,014 --> 00:44:23,806 Back to the zoo. 503 00:44:27,061 --> 00:44:28,561 What are you thinking? 504 00:44:29,355 --> 00:44:31,648 This whole thing is connected, somehow. 505 00:44:32,358 --> 00:44:34,776 I want to find that other ring. 506 00:44:36,695 --> 00:44:38,863 Ace, you checked all the rings. 507 00:44:39,114 --> 00:44:41,282 Receipts? What about receipts? 508 00:44:41,533 --> 00:44:43,201 There's gotta be receipts. 509 00:44:52,294 --> 00:44:55,672 That was pretty impressive, what you did at the apartment. 510 00:44:56,423 --> 00:44:58,091 You don't have to tell me. 511 00:44:58,550 --> 00:45:00,093 I was there. 512 00:45:02,179 --> 00:45:06,057 Maybe you should've joined the police force, become a real detective. 513 00:45:06,308 --> 00:45:08,226 I don't do humans. 514 00:45:10,521 --> 00:45:12,146 You really love animals. 515 00:45:13,941 --> 00:45:15,650 If it gets cold enough. 516 00:45:17,569 --> 00:45:20,196 No, I have a kinship with them. 517 00:45:20,447 --> 00:45:21,948 I, uh, understand them. 518 00:45:23,951 --> 00:45:25,868 Wanna hear something spooky? 519 00:45:26,078 --> 00:45:27,328 Sure. 520 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:34,377 One time when I was about 12, I had a dream that I was being followed by... 521 00:45:34,628 --> 00:45:36,421 ...a big dog with rabies. 522 00:45:36,672 --> 00:45:38,589 He had these bloodshot eyes... 523 00:45:38,799 --> 00:45:40,633 ...and foam came out of his mouth. 524 00:45:41,051 --> 00:45:45,972 No matter how fast I ran, he just kept gaining on me and gaining on me. 525 00:45:48,225 --> 00:45:51,060 Then just before I got to my front door... 526 00:45:51,395 --> 00:45:53,896 ...he jumped and sank his teeth in. 527 00:45:55,941 --> 00:45:57,817 That's when I woke up... 528 00:45:58,068 --> 00:46:00,653 ...and felt the back of my neck. Check that out. 529 00:46:04,408 --> 00:46:05,742 Bastard. 530 00:46:07,077 --> 00:46:09,746 I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. 531 00:46:10,664 --> 00:46:12,331 Want to know why I do this? 532 00:46:12,541 --> 00:46:14,292 I'm not sure anymore. 533 00:46:14,501 --> 00:46:16,002 You better be sure... 534 00:46:16,712 --> 00:46:19,213 ...because once you get inside my head... 535 00:46:19,506 --> 00:46:21,174 ...there's no turning back. 536 00:46:32,770 --> 00:46:35,062 So, um, ahem... 537 00:46:35,773 --> 00:46:37,982 Are these all? There's only a dozen. 538 00:46:38,233 --> 00:46:40,318 Maybe it's in another file, in the back. 539 00:46:40,569 --> 00:46:42,195 Who the hell is that? 540 00:46:42,613 --> 00:46:43,863 What? 541 00:46:47,910 --> 00:46:49,202 That. 542 00:46:49,787 --> 00:46:51,788 Who the hell is that? 543 00:46:52,456 --> 00:46:55,875 That's Ray Finkle, the kicker. Don't you know who he is? 544 00:46:56,168 --> 00:46:57,418 No. 545 00:46:57,669 --> 00:46:59,420 Why isn't he in this picture? 546 00:47:03,801 --> 00:47:08,721 This was taken earlier in the year. Ray Finkle wasn't added till mid-season. 547 00:47:14,102 --> 00:47:17,688 He missed the final field goal in the Super Bowl that year. 548 00:47:17,940 --> 00:47:19,565 Cost the Dolphins the game. 549 00:47:19,983 --> 00:47:22,235 But he got himself a ring, didn't he? 550 00:47:23,529 --> 00:47:24,779 Definitely. 551 00:47:24,988 --> 00:47:27,865 "Replacement kicker having a great year. " 552 00:47:28,116 --> 00:47:30,827 "Ready for Super Bowl, all-star kicker boasts. " 553 00:47:31,036 --> 00:47:34,413 "Field goal sails wide, Dolphins lose Super Bowl. " 554 00:47:34,873 --> 00:47:37,500 "The kick heard 'round the world. " 555 00:47:37,751 --> 00:47:41,128 That was Finkle. The Dolphins lost by one point. 556 00:47:42,381 --> 00:47:45,049 Poor guy. 557 00:47:45,259 --> 00:47:47,552 Poor guy with a motive, baby. 558 00:47:47,928 --> 00:47:49,470 Where is he now? 559 00:47:49,805 --> 00:47:52,932 I heard he went back to his hometown in Collier County. 560 00:47:53,809 --> 00:47:57,436 Really? 561 00:47:59,606 --> 00:48:01,774 You're gonna drop me off before you go? 562 00:48:02,693 --> 00:48:05,403 No way. You shouldn't be left alone right now. 563 00:48:05,654 --> 00:48:08,239 It might not be safe at your apartment. 564 00:48:08,949 --> 00:48:10,783 What do you suggest? 565 00:48:55,203 --> 00:48:56,746 Oh, my God. 566 00:48:57,664 --> 00:48:59,290 Oh, my God. 567 00:49:00,751 --> 00:49:02,585 Three times? 568 00:49:03,170 --> 00:49:05,880 I'm sorry, that's never happened to me before. 569 00:49:06,673 --> 00:49:08,424 I must be tired. 570 00:49:11,929 --> 00:49:13,679 Okay, I'm ready again. 571 00:53:29,482 --> 00:53:32,233 Hi. I'm looking for Ray Finkle... 572 00:53:33,402 --> 00:53:35,278 ...and a clean pair of shorts. 573 00:53:35,488 --> 00:53:38,406 What do you know about Ray Finkle? 574 00:53:40,493 --> 00:53:43,620 Soccer-style kicker. Graduated from Collier High, 1976. 575 00:53:43,871 --> 00:53:47,624 Stetson University honors graduate, 1980. Holds two NCAA records. 576 00:53:47,875 --> 00:53:49,459 Most points and distance. 577 00:53:49,668 --> 00:53:52,545 Nickname, "The Mule. " The only pro athlete from here. 578 00:53:52,755 --> 00:53:55,632 And one hell of a model American. 579 00:54:01,430 --> 00:54:04,182 Are you another one of them Hard Copy guys? 580 00:54:04,433 --> 00:54:05,475 No, sir. 581 00:54:05,684 --> 00:54:07,185 I'm just a big Finkle fan. 582 00:54:08,938 --> 00:54:11,189 This is my Graceland, sir. 583 00:54:12,024 --> 00:54:14,108 Will you put that gun down? 584 00:54:14,693 --> 00:54:17,737 The boy is a fan of our son. 585 00:54:18,948 --> 00:54:20,698 So nice to meet you. 586 00:54:20,950 --> 00:54:22,408 I'm Ray's mother... 587 00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:24,369 ...and this is Ray's father. 588 00:54:25,079 --> 00:54:26,913 It's a real honor. 589 00:54:27,540 --> 00:54:30,500 It's an honor to have you here. 590 00:54:32,169 --> 00:54:35,088 My Ray is so appreciative of his fans. 591 00:54:35,339 --> 00:54:37,840 He'll be so pleased you stopped by. 592 00:54:38,092 --> 00:54:40,260 Are you expecting Ray anytime soon? 593 00:54:40,511 --> 00:54:43,721 - Oh, yes. I expect him home any minute. - Ah. 594 00:54:43,889 --> 00:54:47,100 Would you like some cookies? I just baked them. 595 00:54:47,393 --> 00:54:49,018 Yummy. 596 00:54:53,107 --> 00:54:54,566 Wow. 597 00:54:55,317 --> 00:54:57,485 Ray Finkle's house. 598 00:54:58,821 --> 00:55:00,446 I can't wait to meet him. 599 00:55:02,992 --> 00:55:05,326 Ray ain't coming home. 600 00:55:07,079 --> 00:55:09,205 But your wife expects him any minute. 601 00:55:09,415 --> 00:55:12,083 She expects him home any minute. 602 00:55:13,127 --> 00:55:16,921 See, the engine's running but, uh, there's nobody behind the wheel. 603 00:55:18,424 --> 00:55:19,549 Eight years ago... 604 00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,886 ...our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental Hospital. 605 00:55:24,096 --> 00:55:26,973 And they're still bugging us to pick up his stuff. 606 00:55:27,224 --> 00:55:30,852 It was all that Dan Marino's fault. Everyone knows that. 607 00:55:31,186 --> 00:55:34,397 If he'd held the ball, laces out, like he's supposed to... 608 00:55:34,648 --> 00:55:37,025 ...Ray wouldn't have missed the kick. 609 00:55:37,359 --> 00:55:41,571 Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. 610 00:55:41,822 --> 00:55:43,823 Would you like a cookie, son? 611 00:55:45,618 --> 00:55:48,036 Mm. What do you know? 612 00:55:48,579 --> 00:55:50,455 They're little footballs. 613 00:55:50,664 --> 00:55:52,040 Laces out. 614 00:55:53,584 --> 00:55:56,419 When Ray gets back and starts kicking again... 615 00:55:56,670 --> 00:55:59,005 ...he'll never even know he was gone. 616 00:55:59,256 --> 00:56:02,133 I've kept his room just the way he left it. 617 00:56:24,657 --> 00:56:25,990 Oh, boy. 618 00:56:26,575 --> 00:56:29,035 What a sports nut, huh? 619 00:56:40,839 --> 00:56:44,092 - May I? - Oh, yes, by all means. 620 00:56:47,638 --> 00:56:50,932 Five seconds to go here in Super Bowl XVll. 621 00:56:51,183 --> 00:56:52,975 Dolphins trailing the 49ers... 622 00:56:53,185 --> 00:56:56,979 ...by one. This will win the game for Miami. 623 00:56:57,231 --> 00:56:58,898 There's the snap. 624 00:56:59,149 --> 00:57:00,358 Marino holds. 625 00:57:00,609 --> 00:57:01,776 The kick... 626 00:57:02,403 --> 00:57:04,487 ...and it's high. No, it's... 627 00:57:04,697 --> 00:57:09,784 ...no good. Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal. 628 00:57:10,035 --> 00:57:11,911 I don't believe it. 629 00:57:12,121 --> 00:57:13,871 The Dolphins lose. 630 00:57:14,081 --> 00:57:18,292 The Dolphins lose. The Dolphins lose the Super Bowl. 631 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,338 - Melissa, it's Ace. Where are you? 632 00:57:22,589 --> 00:57:26,175 I'm in Psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor. Where's Marino? 633 00:57:26,427 --> 00:57:27,593 Why? 634 00:57:27,803 --> 00:57:30,972 He's about to join Snowflake. I've gotta know where he is. 635 00:57:31,181 --> 00:57:35,435 He has a commercial shoot at the Bogart Sound Stage. 636 00:57:35,644 --> 00:57:38,730 Call the police. Get extra security over there. Now. 637 00:57:38,981 --> 00:57:40,940 Ace, what's going on? 638 00:57:41,817 --> 00:57:43,776 Ace. Ace! 639 00:57:44,069 --> 00:57:45,153 Thought I left, didn't you? 640 00:57:47,197 --> 00:57:48,990 I'm really gonna go this time. 641 00:57:57,666 --> 00:57:59,834 Here we go, folks. Very quiet. 642 00:58:00,085 --> 00:58:01,377 Action. 643 00:58:01,545 --> 00:58:05,256 I'm Dan Marino, and if anyone knows the value of protection, it's me. 644 00:58:11,430 --> 00:58:14,557 So I take care of the hands that take care of me... 645 00:58:15,225 --> 00:58:16,517 ...with Isotoner gloves. 646 00:58:16,769 --> 00:58:18,686 Cut. Again from the top. 647 00:58:18,896 --> 00:58:19,979 I said, cut. 648 00:58:20,230 --> 00:58:21,522 Guys, it's a cut. 649 00:58:21,732 --> 00:58:24,108 What the hell are they doing? 650 00:58:24,359 --> 00:58:25,985 That's a cut. 651 00:58:31,074 --> 00:58:33,618 - What is this, a rewrite? - Shut up. 652 00:58:37,956 --> 00:58:39,499 - Where'd they go? - Over there. 653 00:58:39,750 --> 00:58:40,750 Let's go. 654 00:58:47,841 --> 00:58:49,425 Excuse me, gentlemen. 655 00:58:49,676 --> 00:58:50,802 Pet detective. 656 00:58:59,478 --> 00:59:01,979 Come on. What's wrong? 657 00:59:02,189 --> 00:59:03,689 Can't you hit me? 658 00:59:27,214 --> 00:59:28,506 Whew. 659 00:59:31,134 --> 00:59:33,094 Have there been ransom demands? 660 00:59:33,345 --> 00:59:35,805 There's no communication with the kidnappers. 661 00:59:36,014 --> 00:59:37,974 Will the Super Bowl be postponed? 662 00:59:38,225 --> 00:59:39,725 The game is on as scheduled. 663 00:59:39,977 --> 00:59:41,894 Why weren't we told about the kidnapping? 664 00:59:42,104 --> 00:59:45,147 Secrecy was essential. We couldn't risk any interference. 665 00:59:45,357 --> 00:59:49,360 - Are the crimes related? - I'm sorry, I can't comment further. 666 00:59:49,611 --> 00:59:50,862 Now, if you'll excuse me... 667 00:59:53,448 --> 00:59:55,783 Get me the autopsy on Podacter. 668 00:59:56,034 --> 00:59:58,870 Aguado, send out a memo: No one talks to the press. 669 00:59:59,121 --> 01:00:01,706 And somebody get me some coffee. 670 01:00:01,957 --> 01:00:05,835 Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss a coffee. 671 01:00:06,211 --> 01:00:11,299 Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you'd better be gone. 672 01:00:11,925 --> 01:00:13,968 Is it number one or number two? 673 01:00:14,261 --> 01:00:16,470 I just wanna know how much time I have. 674 01:00:17,723 --> 01:00:21,517 Hey, uh, by the way, I went ahead and solved that... 675 01:00:21,768 --> 01:00:24,729 - ... pesky Snowflake-Podacter-Marino thing. - Oh, yeah? 676 01:00:25,439 --> 01:00:29,108 You ever heard of a former Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle? 677 01:00:35,949 --> 01:00:37,742 All right, Ventura... 678 01:00:38,994 --> 01:00:40,202 ...make it quick. 679 01:00:40,579 --> 01:00:43,706 I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. 680 01:00:43,957 --> 01:00:46,626 It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC championship ring. 681 01:00:46,877 --> 01:00:50,004 It would've been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray missed the kick. 682 01:00:50,213 --> 01:00:52,214 Blames the whole thing on Marino. 683 01:00:52,466 --> 01:00:57,094 We're talking paranoid, delusional psychosis. I saw the guy's room. 684 01:00:57,304 --> 01:00:59,555 Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. 685 01:01:00,432 --> 01:01:02,725 So how does Roger Podacter fit in? 686 01:01:03,268 --> 01:01:07,939 My guess is, Finkle was snooping around. Podacter recognized him. End of story. 687 01:01:08,148 --> 01:01:12,818 As for Snowflake, they gave him Finkle's number, taught him how to kick a goal. 688 01:01:13,028 --> 01:01:14,862 Finkle took it personally. 689 01:01:17,199 --> 01:01:18,991 So where is Finkle now? 690 01:01:19,201 --> 01:01:23,663 Busted out of a mental institute. He's been plotting his revenge for years. 691 01:01:23,914 --> 01:01:26,582 Waiting for the perfect time to get back at them. 692 01:01:26,792 --> 01:01:28,668 The time when it'd hurt them most: 693 01:01:28,877 --> 01:01:31,045 Super Bowl time. 694 01:01:31,296 --> 01:01:33,673 Man, I'm tired of being right. 695 01:01:38,053 --> 01:01:39,679 Congratulations. 696 01:01:40,889 --> 01:01:43,724 You've done some fine detective work... 697 01:01:45,602 --> 01:01:46,811 ...Ace. 698 01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:51,107 I'm sorry, could you speak into my good ear? 699 01:01:51,358 --> 01:01:53,484 I thought I heard you call me Ace. 700 01:01:54,027 --> 01:01:58,656 Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you are more than just a pet dick. 701 01:02:06,873 --> 01:02:09,500 Your gun is digging into my hip. 702 01:02:09,751 --> 01:02:11,210 What's wrong? 703 01:02:11,461 --> 01:02:13,921 Want me to read you your rights? 704 01:02:14,881 --> 01:02:16,507 Maybe later. 705 01:02:19,678 --> 01:02:20,803 What is it? 706 01:02:21,054 --> 01:02:22,638 That bony little bitch... 707 01:02:22,889 --> 01:02:24,598 ...Melissa Robinson? 708 01:02:25,308 --> 01:02:27,393 You just don't do anything for me. 709 01:02:28,854 --> 01:02:30,104 Down, boy. 710 01:02:32,190 --> 01:02:34,900 Everything okay in here? I heard some commotion. 711 01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:36,944 Fine, sergeant. 712 01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,071 You want me to throw him out? 713 01:02:39,906 --> 01:02:42,408 Why don't you throw yourself out? 714 01:02:44,411 --> 01:02:45,703 Yes, ma'am. 715 01:02:48,957 --> 01:02:51,834 Ace, I want you to leave everything to us. 716 01:02:52,085 --> 01:02:55,337 I can't do that, lieutenant. I was hired to find Snowflake. 717 01:02:55,589 --> 01:02:57,256 When we find Marino... 718 01:02:57,507 --> 01:02:59,550 ...we'll deliver Snowflake. 719 01:02:59,801 --> 01:03:01,886 When I find Snowflake... 720 01:03:03,305 --> 01:03:05,097 ...I'll deliver Marino. 721 01:03:17,235 --> 01:03:18,444 Melissa, it's Ace. 722 01:03:18,695 --> 01:03:21,572 What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night. 723 01:03:22,324 --> 01:03:24,325 You have to commit me. 724 01:03:25,494 --> 01:03:28,954 Finkle escaped from Shady Acres. They still have his stuff. 725 01:03:29,206 --> 01:03:31,457 They aren't gonna let us look around. 726 01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:32,792 I know. 727 01:03:33,043 --> 01:03:35,878 It's a good thing I'm a master of disguise. 728 01:03:36,129 --> 01:03:37,171 Mrs. Robinson... 729 01:03:37,506 --> 01:03:39,548 ...I'm Dr. Handly. 730 01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:42,218 Now who is it you want us to look at? 731 01:03:42,469 --> 01:03:43,719 My brother... 732 01:03:44,346 --> 01:03:45,554 ...Larry. 733 01:03:49,726 --> 01:03:52,269 I'm ready to go in. Just give me a chance. 734 01:03:52,479 --> 01:03:55,439 I know there's a lot riding on it, but it's all psychological. 735 01:03:55,732 --> 01:03:57,441 Just gotta stay positive. 736 01:03:59,611 --> 01:04:02,780 I'm gonna execute a buttonhook pattern, super slow-mo. 737 01:04:30,809 --> 01:04:32,101 Let's see that... 738 01:04:32,352 --> 01:04:33,978 ...in an instant replay. 739 01:04:49,327 --> 01:04:52,621 Your brother won't be the first football pro we've treated. 740 01:04:52,873 --> 01:04:55,583 - Is that right? - Yes, we're very sensitive... 741 01:04:55,834 --> 01:04:58,294 ...to the stress athletes have to endure. 742 01:04:58,545 --> 01:05:00,504 I'm open. I'm open. 743 01:05:01,339 --> 01:05:03,048 I'm open. 744 01:05:03,884 --> 01:05:06,385 We'll do some preliminary evaluations... 745 01:05:06,636 --> 01:05:08,804 ...but I think he'll fit in nicely here. 746 01:05:09,055 --> 01:05:10,639 Over here. 747 01:05:12,851 --> 01:05:14,560 351. 748 01:05:15,020 --> 01:05:16,812 351. 749 01:05:17,063 --> 01:05:19,023 Rover, sit. Hut, hut. 750 01:05:22,277 --> 01:05:25,237 He seems to have some difficulty letting go of the game. 751 01:05:25,739 --> 01:05:27,823 Has he had a history of mental illness? 752 01:05:29,284 --> 01:05:31,076 As long as I've known him. 753 01:05:32,996 --> 01:05:35,623 And, uh, this is one of our therapy rooms. 754 01:05:36,416 --> 01:05:39,919 And we do arts and crafts out here in the courtyard. 755 01:05:40,170 --> 01:05:43,047 And this is the storage room. Down the hallway we have another- 756 01:05:44,382 --> 01:05:45,841 Halftime. 757 01:05:59,814 --> 01:06:03,734 He'll be fine there by himself for the next 20 minutes. 758 01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:08,405 - I'll show you the dormitories, then. - Great. 759 01:06:09,282 --> 01:06:12,576 Dr. Hire, please call the page operator. 760 01:06:12,744 --> 01:06:15,829 Dr. Hire, please call the page operator. 761 01:07:13,305 --> 01:07:14,847 Finkle. 762 01:07:19,352 --> 01:07:21,145 Isotoners. 763 01:07:40,540 --> 01:07:42,875 Obsess much? 764 01:07:44,502 --> 01:07:46,128 Where are you going? 765 01:07:46,379 --> 01:07:49,381 To clean the storage room. No, clean the cafeteria. 766 01:07:49,591 --> 01:07:51,675 I don't tell you how to do your job. 767 01:07:51,926 --> 01:07:53,552 The schedule says... 768 01:07:53,803 --> 01:07:56,096 - ... clean the cafeteria. - I know what I'm doing. 769 01:07:56,264 --> 01:07:57,723 You should've done it earlier. 770 01:07:57,974 --> 01:08:01,226 Man, come on. Cafeteria, my ass. I'm cleaning in here. 771 01:08:01,436 --> 01:08:03,520 You take breaks too long. You smoke- 772 01:08:03,772 --> 01:08:06,023 Man, you're a pain in the ass. 773 01:08:28,797 --> 01:08:31,298 "Search called off for missing hiker. 774 01:08:31,966 --> 01:08:34,468 A massive search ended today when rescue workers... 775 01:08:34,719 --> 01:08:38,305 ...were unable to find the body of Lois Einhorn. " 776 01:08:39,933 --> 01:08:42,101 A hiker missing since Friday? 777 01:08:42,352 --> 01:08:43,936 Lois Einhorn? 778 01:08:45,313 --> 01:08:47,940 Holy shitballs. 779 01:14:11,346 --> 01:14:13,514 What're you doing out here? Get back to work. 780 01:14:13,682 --> 01:14:15,099 Sorry, lieutenant. 781 01:14:43,253 --> 01:14:44,545 "Love, Roger"? 782 01:14:53,096 --> 01:14:54,680 Ace, it's E. 783 01:14:54,848 --> 01:14:57,683 You think the article you found was something? 784 01:14:57,934 --> 01:15:00,436 I got a note from Roger to Einhorn... 785 01:15:00,687 --> 01:15:03,022 ...thanking her for a wonderful evening. 786 01:15:03,273 --> 01:15:05,858 Something ain't stirring the Kool-Aid, man. 787 01:15:06,109 --> 01:15:07,985 Wiggles, rewind. 788 01:15:12,157 --> 01:15:15,534 What the hell does Lois Einhorn have to do with Ray Finkle? 789 01:15:17,329 --> 01:15:18,913 Come on, think. 790 01:15:19,122 --> 01:15:22,291 Finkle and Einhorn, in it together. How? Why? 791 01:15:29,424 --> 01:15:30,966 All right. Here we go. 792 01:15:31,218 --> 01:15:34,428 Answer's right there. Just gotta get blood to the brain. 793 01:15:35,013 --> 01:15:37,681 Finkle and Einhorn. Finkle and Einhorn. 794 01:15:37,891 --> 01:15:40,267 Finkle and Einhorn. Finkle and Einhorn. 795 01:15:44,064 --> 01:15:46,607 Einhorn and Finkle. 796 01:15:47,275 --> 01:15:49,735 Finkle and Einhorn. 797 01:15:54,407 --> 01:15:55,741 Quitter. 798 01:15:57,911 --> 01:16:00,538 What do you want? Huh? 799 01:16:01,373 --> 01:16:03,916 I don't have any food for you. 800 01:16:04,376 --> 01:16:07,044 I have to have money to buy food. 801 01:16:07,295 --> 01:16:10,673 I have to have a dolphin to get money. Do you see a dolphin here? 802 01:16:19,141 --> 01:16:20,391 Let's face it... 803 01:16:20,642 --> 01:16:22,685 ...your master is a loser. 804 01:16:24,271 --> 01:16:25,729 Loo... 805 01:16:39,786 --> 01:16:41,745 What the...? 806 01:16:43,707 --> 01:16:45,624 That's it. 807 01:16:47,794 --> 01:16:49,336 That's it. 808 01:16:49,629 --> 01:16:52,131 Einhorn is Finkle. 809 01:16:52,382 --> 01:16:54,758 Finkle is Einhorn. 810 01:16:55,051 --> 01:16:57,428 Einhorn is a man. 811 01:16:58,930 --> 01:17:00,931 Oh, my God. 812 01:17:01,349 --> 01:17:03,726 Einhorn is a man. 813 01:17:41,097 --> 01:17:43,432 No! No. 814 01:18:00,533 --> 01:18:02,910 "Your gun is digging into my hip. " 815 01:18:03,870 --> 01:18:05,246 God. 816 01:18:31,231 --> 01:18:35,818 And the big story in this Super Bowl game is the abduction... 817 01:18:36,028 --> 01:18:39,113 ...of Miami's starting quarterback, Dan Marino. 818 01:18:39,365 --> 01:18:42,492 It's gotta be a strain on this Miami team, Bob... 819 01:19:20,823 --> 01:19:24,325 What's the matter, Dan? Aren't you having fun? 820 01:19:24,535 --> 01:19:28,371 I just love Super Bowl Sunday. Don't you, Dan? 821 01:19:28,622 --> 01:19:30,915 A magical afternoon... 822 01:19:31,291 --> 01:19:33,543 ...where dreams are made... 823 01:19:34,628 --> 01:19:36,129 ...and crushed. 824 01:19:36,463 --> 01:19:39,966 Look, lady, if you want tickets, you're going about it the wrong way. 825 01:19:41,510 --> 01:19:45,096 Do I look familiar to you? Does it seem as if we've... 826 01:19:45,305 --> 01:19:47,473 ...met someplace before? 827 01:19:47,891 --> 01:19:50,476 I don't know. I get hit in the head a lot. 828 01:19:50,978 --> 01:19:53,146 Now the coin toss. 829 01:19:53,897 --> 01:19:55,148 Kickoff time. 830 01:19:56,150 --> 01:19:57,775 My favorite thing. 831 01:19:57,943 --> 01:20:00,987 Bob, it looks like Philadelphia has elected to kick off. 832 01:20:04,450 --> 01:20:05,992 Laces out. 833 01:20:06,869 --> 01:20:09,495 With Marino out, they're gonna be putting a lot of pressure... 834 01:20:09,663 --> 01:20:11,664 ...on this replacement quarterback. 835 01:20:14,460 --> 01:20:16,127 And there's the kick. 836 01:20:16,295 --> 01:20:19,255 This year's Super Bowl is under way. 837 01:20:25,262 --> 01:20:28,765 I made some refreshments, Dan. 838 01:20:30,058 --> 01:20:32,560 Would you like some refreshments, Dan? 839 01:20:33,771 --> 01:20:36,898 I'll be right back, Dan. 840 01:21:01,215 --> 01:21:03,216 And it was his wife. Ha, ha. 841 01:21:06,094 --> 01:21:10,097 I don't know how much psycho-woman's paying you, but I'll double it. 842 01:21:10,349 --> 01:21:13,559 Sorry. "Psycho-woman" keeps us out of prison. 843 01:21:14,645 --> 01:21:16,521 Snowflake, here you go. Come on. 844 01:21:16,730 --> 01:21:18,439 Check it out, Marino. 845 01:21:18,649 --> 01:21:20,983 I'm throwing passes to a dolphin. 846 01:21:31,411 --> 01:21:34,247 Damn. Go get some more fish. 847 01:21:34,581 --> 01:21:36,123 I'm gonna kill that dolphin. 848 01:21:37,417 --> 01:21:39,043 Lovely party. 849 01:21:39,294 --> 01:21:41,045 Pity I wasn't invited. 850 01:21:53,559 --> 01:21:55,643 Where the hell's the smelt? 851 01:22:03,318 --> 01:22:05,945 Unconscious. Exactly as I planned. 852 01:22:12,035 --> 01:22:13,494 Hey, Roc? 853 01:22:14,329 --> 01:22:15,788 What the hell was that? 854 01:22:26,925 --> 01:22:28,009 Shit. 855 01:22:33,765 --> 01:22:36,767 What happened? What's going on? 856 01:22:37,019 --> 01:22:39,562 - You okay? - Guess what? 857 01:22:39,980 --> 01:22:41,022 It's naptime. 858 01:22:43,692 --> 01:22:45,151 What a hit. 859 01:22:48,071 --> 01:22:49,405 Heads up. 860 01:22:52,492 --> 01:22:53,534 Hi, Dan. 861 01:22:55,746 --> 01:22:56,871 Who are you? 862 01:22:58,123 --> 01:23:01,542 Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. I've been sent with a special play: 863 01:23:01,793 --> 01:23:03,419 The quarterback sneak. 864 01:23:04,504 --> 01:23:08,716 Penalty. Too many men on the field. 865 01:23:09,343 --> 01:23:11,344 I warned you, Ventura. 866 01:23:12,095 --> 01:23:13,596 Whatever happened to "Ace"? 867 01:23:13,805 --> 01:23:15,598 Good question. 868 01:23:16,183 --> 01:23:20,686 Be careful with that phone. In time, you could develop a tumor. 869 01:23:21,313 --> 01:23:23,648 Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn. 870 01:23:23,899 --> 01:23:27,652 Send some men over to the Hallandale yacht basin. 871 01:23:27,903 --> 01:23:30,321 I've got the kidnapper trapped in the warehouse. 872 01:23:30,864 --> 01:23:33,449 It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. 873 01:23:37,120 --> 01:23:40,289 Code 11 in progress, 343 Victorville Road... 874 01:23:40,540 --> 01:23:42,124 ...at the Hallandale basin. 875 01:23:42,334 --> 01:23:45,628 Officer needs backup. Suspect's name: Ace Ventura... 876 01:23:45,879 --> 01:23:48,464 ...should be considered armed and dangerous. 877 01:23:49,174 --> 01:23:51,842 It's Ace. We gotta break out of here. 878 01:23:54,471 --> 01:23:55,805 Is he in trouble? 879 01:23:56,056 --> 01:23:58,474 Don't worry, if there's one thing I know... 880 01:23:58,725 --> 01:24:00,935 ...there's nothing Ace can't handle. 881 01:24:01,561 --> 01:24:03,854 Don't kill me. 882 01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:07,149 Please. 883 01:24:07,609 --> 01:24:09,902 I'll never tell anyone, I swear. 884 01:24:10,153 --> 01:24:12,488 - He's who you want. Kill him. - Kill him. 885 01:24:12,739 --> 01:24:15,491 Kill him. He held the ball, remember? 886 01:24:15,742 --> 01:24:17,326 Come on, look at him. 887 01:24:17,577 --> 01:24:18,828 - Crybaby. - Jock. 888 01:24:19,079 --> 01:24:20,204 - Wimp. - Musclehead. 889 01:24:20,372 --> 01:24:21,747 Shut up. 890 01:24:21,999 --> 01:24:26,377 I think I'll kill the dolphin first. I wouldn't want you to miss that. 891 01:25:16,562 --> 01:25:18,354 Stupid Fish! 892 01:25:18,564 --> 01:25:21,774 The kick. And it's good. 893 01:25:21,984 --> 01:25:24,902 Good to see somebody who doesn't buckle under the pressure. 894 01:25:29,867 --> 01:25:34,287 What would you know about pressure? 895 01:25:34,580 --> 01:25:37,123 Well, I have kissed a man. 896 01:25:38,042 --> 01:25:42,462 There's never been a more crucial kick in a Super Bowl... 897 01:25:42,755 --> 01:25:45,006 ...than the "kick heard 'round the world. " 898 01:25:45,507 --> 01:25:50,595 I mean, it's clear to me that it was a good hold. Finkle just booted it. 899 01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:53,181 The laces were in. 900 01:25:53,641 --> 01:25:55,266 They were in! 901 01:26:15,537 --> 01:26:17,163 - You like that? - Aah! 902 01:26:17,414 --> 01:26:18,581 You like that? 903 01:26:24,088 --> 01:26:25,963 And that. And that. 904 01:26:36,517 --> 01:26:38,893 Having a little trouble with the lady? 905 01:26:39,311 --> 01:26:40,770 You don't understand... 906 01:26:41,021 --> 01:26:42,230 ...she's a- 907 01:26:45,234 --> 01:26:47,151 Get him, Lois. Get him. 908 01:26:51,073 --> 01:26:52,490 Get him. 909 01:26:59,164 --> 01:27:00,206 Shoot him! 910 01:27:02,251 --> 01:27:04,293 - Shoot him! Hold your fire. 911 01:27:06,088 --> 01:27:07,255 Don't shoot. 912 01:27:07,464 --> 01:27:09,716 Put your guns down, or this cop gets it. 913 01:27:10,509 --> 01:27:11,968 I mean it. 914 01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,637 She's not joking. 915 01:27:14,847 --> 01:27:16,389 He kidnapped Snowflake. 916 01:27:16,640 --> 01:27:21,227 He killed Roger Podacter and was about to kill Marino and me. 917 01:27:21,645 --> 01:27:23,730 Ho, ho, ho! 918 01:27:24,106 --> 01:27:26,607 Fiction can be fun. 919 01:27:26,859 --> 01:27:29,777 But I find the reference section much more enlightening. 920 01:27:30,028 --> 01:27:31,404 For instance... 921 01:27:31,655 --> 01:27:32,905 ...if you look up... 922 01:27:33,157 --> 01:27:37,618 ...professional football's all-time bonehead plays... 923 01:27:38,162 --> 01:27:41,581 ...you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle... 924 01:27:41,832 --> 01:27:46,461 ...who missed a 26-yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVll. 925 01:27:49,339 --> 01:27:53,176 You wouldn't read that Finkle was committed to a mental hospital... 926 01:27:53,427 --> 01:27:56,721 ...only to escape, join the police under the assumed identity of a missing hiker... 927 01:27:56,972 --> 01:28:00,183 ...manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Marino... 928 01:28:00,434 --> 01:28:02,560 ...whom he blamed for the entire thing. 929 01:28:04,021 --> 01:28:05,772 What are you talking about? 930 01:28:05,981 --> 01:28:10,151 She's not Lois Einhorn. She's Ray Finkle. She's a man. 931 01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:11,444 He's lying. 932 01:28:11,695 --> 01:28:12,987 Shoot him! 933 01:28:16,158 --> 01:28:19,243 Let's just see who's lying, shall we? 934 01:28:19,495 --> 01:28:23,498 Would a real woman have to wear one of these? 935 01:28:29,505 --> 01:28:31,589 Boy, that's really on there. 936 01:28:32,132 --> 01:28:33,841 But tell me this: 937 01:28:34,051 --> 01:28:35,635 Would a real woman... 938 01:28:35,886 --> 01:28:38,095 ...be missing these? 939 01:28:43,644 --> 01:28:46,437 That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend. 940 01:28:46,980 --> 01:28:48,815 But I doubt very much... 941 01:28:49,358 --> 01:28:53,069 ...if he could find the time during his busy schedule... 942 01:28:53,320 --> 01:28:54,654 ...to get rid of... 943 01:28:54,905 --> 01:28:55,947 ...big old... 944 01:28:56,156 --> 01:28:57,782 ...Mr. Knish. 945 01:29:05,707 --> 01:29:07,124 Oh, boy. 946 01:29:07,543 --> 01:29:09,752 Psst. Psst. Ace. 947 01:29:10,295 --> 01:29:11,379 Come here. 948 01:29:12,214 --> 01:29:15,049 Would you excuse me for just one second? 949 01:29:23,433 --> 01:29:25,059 Ladies and gentlemen... 950 01:29:25,727 --> 01:29:28,563 ...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino... 951 01:29:29,523 --> 01:29:31,524 ...brought new evidence to my attention. 952 01:29:31,775 --> 01:29:32,775 Now... 953 01:29:33,151 --> 01:29:37,029 ...history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive... 954 01:29:37,281 --> 01:29:40,116 ...criminal investigator can be wrong. 955 01:29:40,367 --> 01:29:42,410 But if I am mistaken... 956 01:29:42,744 --> 01:29:45,746 ...if the lieutenant is indeed a woman... 957 01:29:45,998 --> 01:29:48,291 ...as she claims to be... 958 01:29:48,542 --> 01:29:49,709 ...then, my friend... 959 01:29:49,960 --> 01:29:55,381 ...she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen. 960 01:29:56,091 --> 01:29:58,384 That's why Roger Podacter is dead. 961 01:29:58,594 --> 01:30:01,053 He found Captain Winkie. 962 01:30:10,314 --> 01:30:15,151 Good night. You've been a wonderful audience. Be sure to tip your waitress. 963 01:30:20,115 --> 01:30:22,199 Die, animal boy. 964 01:30:22,993 --> 01:30:24,327 Quick decision. 965 01:30:45,140 --> 01:30:47,892 Loser. 966 01:30:53,231 --> 01:30:56,275 - Ace. You have any more gum? - Yeah, Dan? 967 01:30:56,526 --> 01:31:00,821 That's none of your damn business. Stay out of my personal affairs. 968 01:31:01,615 --> 01:31:04,241 You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy. 969 01:31:05,786 --> 01:31:08,162 Ladies and gentlemen... 970 01:31:08,372 --> 01:31:10,206 ...the Miami Dolphins are proud... 971 01:31:10,415 --> 01:31:13,250 ...to welcome back to Joe Robbie Stadium... 972 01:31:13,460 --> 01:31:15,127 ...our beloved mascot... 973 01:31:15,337 --> 01:31:18,172 ...and the star of our halftime show: 974 01:31:18,382 --> 01:31:20,132 Snowflake. 975 01:31:27,099 --> 01:31:28,724 And now... 976 01:31:28,934 --> 01:31:32,603 ...returning for the second half, the Dolphins' most valuable player... 977 01:31:33,271 --> 01:31:35,481 ...Dan Marino. 978 01:32:21,486 --> 01:32:23,154 Idiot. 979 01:32:23,321 --> 01:32:28,325 Do you know what you've done? You just cost me 25 grand, Polly. 980 01:32:28,535 --> 01:32:30,536 Yeah? Blow me. 981 01:32:32,247 --> 01:32:33,581 Really? 982 01:32:48,972 --> 01:32:50,598 The National Football League... 983 01:32:50,766 --> 01:32:55,519 ...would like to offer a special thank you to the man who rescued Dan Marino... 984 01:32:55,729 --> 01:32:57,188 ...and our beloved Snowflake. 985 01:32:57,773 --> 01:32:59,398 A great humanitarian... 986 01:32:59,649 --> 01:33:01,734 ...and a lover of all animals: 987 01:33:02,110 --> 01:33:05,112 Mr. Ace Ventura. 988 01:33:07,115 --> 01:33:08,616 Get off me! 989 01:33:09,951 --> 01:33:11,577 Get off me! 990 01:33:12,305 --> 01:34:12,491 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/3rqwj Help other users to choose the best subtitles