1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Play one of the best new FPS shooters, search Steam for PROJECT WARLOCK 2 00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:33,803 ♪ When I was just a little girl 3 00:00:33,882 --> 00:00:39,042 ♪ I asked my mother, what will I be? 4 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,725 ♪ Will I be pretty? 5 00:00:42,805 --> 00:00:45,245 ♪ Will I be rich? 6 00:00:45,326 --> 00:00:49,646 ♪ Here's what she said to me 7 00:00:49,726 --> 00:00:53,846 ♪ Que será, será 8 00:00:53,927 --> 00:00:59,407 ♪ Whatever will be, will be 9 00:00:59,488 --> 00:01:04,809 ♪ The future's not ours to see 10 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,770 ♪ Que será, será 11 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:13,490 ♪ What will be, will be 12 00:01:14,851 --> 00:01:19,811 ♪ When I was just a child in school 13 00:01:19,894 --> 00:01:25,974 ♪ I asked my teacher, what should I try? 14 00:01:26,055 --> 00:01:28,854 ♪ Should I paint pictures? 15 00:01:28,936 --> 00:01:31,536 ♪ Should I sing songs? 16 00:01:31,615 --> 00:01:35,575 ♪ This was her wise reply 17 00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:39,898 ♪ Que será, será 18 00:01:39,978 --> 00:01:44,938 ♪ Whatever will be, will be 19 00:01:45,019 --> 00:01:49,940 ♪ The future's not ours to see 20 00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:54,181 ♪ Que será, será 21 00:01:55,181 --> 00:02:01,102 ♪ What will be, will be... ♪ 22 00:02:05,384 --> 00:02:07,383 Damn. 23 00:02:07,465 --> 00:02:09,425 It's your turn, Heather. 24 00:02:12,145 --> 00:02:15,064 No, Heather. It's Heather's turn. 25 00:02:15,146 --> 00:02:17,106 Heather. 26 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,106 Sorry, Heather. 27 00:02:21,187 --> 00:02:25,867 ♪ Que será, será 28 00:02:25,949 --> 00:02:31,309 ♪ Whatever will be, will be 29 00:02:31,389 --> 00:02:36,030 ♪ The future's not ours to see 30 00:02:36,111 --> 00:02:40,951 ♪ Que será, será 31 00:02:41,032 --> 00:02:46,032 ♪ What will be, will be 32 00:02:46,112 --> 00:02:53,472 ♪ Que será, será ♪ 33 00:03:04,757 --> 00:03:06,596 Dear diary... 34 00:03:06,677 --> 00:03:10,478 'Heather told me she teaches people real life. 35 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:14,038 'She said real life sucks losers dry. 36 00:03:14,119 --> 00:03:18,839 'If you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. 37 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:23,120 'I said, "So, you teach people to spread their wings and fly?" 38 00:03:23,201 --> 00:03:25,121 'She said, "Yes." 39 00:03:25,201 --> 00:03:27,641 'I said, "You're beautiful..."' 40 00:03:27,723 --> 00:03:30,242 God, come on, Veronica. 41 00:03:30,323 --> 00:03:32,322 What is your damage, Heather? 42 00:03:32,404 --> 00:03:34,203 Don't blame me, blame Heather. 43 00:03:34,284 --> 00:03:37,044 She told me to haul your ass into the caf pronto. 44 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,364 Back me up, Heather. 45 00:03:38,445 --> 00:03:41,404 She really wants to talk to you, Veronica. 46 00:03:41,486 --> 00:03:44,685 OK, I'm going. Jesus Christ. 47 00:03:55,128 --> 00:03:57,048 Hello, Heather. 48 00:03:57,128 --> 00:03:59,128 Veronica. Finally. 49 00:03:59,210 --> 00:04:01,890 I got a note of Kurt Kelly's. 50 00:04:01,970 --> 00:04:05,891 I need you to forge a hot and horny but realistic note in Kurt's handwriting. 51 00:04:05,971 --> 00:04:08,651 We'll slip it onto Martha Dumptruck's lunch tray. 52 00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:11,731 I don't have anything against Martha Dunnstock. 53 00:04:11,812 --> 00:04:13,892 You don't have anything for her. 54 00:04:13,974 --> 00:04:16,134 Come on. It'll be very. 55 00:04:16,213 --> 00:04:20,534 The note will give her shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks. 56 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,294 I'll think about it. 57 00:04:25,376 --> 00:04:27,335 Don't think. 58 00:04:32,497 --> 00:04:35,537 Veronica needs something to write on. Bend over. 59 00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:45,459 Dear Martha, you're so sweet... 60 00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:48,219 I'm telling you, man, it'd so be righteous 61 00:04:48,301 --> 00:04:51,740 to be in a Veronica Sawyer - Heather Chandler sandwich. 62 00:04:51,822 --> 00:04:53,660 Hell, yes. 63 00:04:53,742 --> 00:04:57,903 I want to put a Heather on my johnson and spin her around like a pinwheel. 64 00:04:57,983 --> 00:04:59,462 Punch it in. 65 00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:30,869 Westerburg feeds the world. Come on, people. 66 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:34,550 Give that leftover lunch money to people who don't have lunches. 67 00:05:34,632 --> 00:05:37,191 God, aren't they fed yet? 68 00:05:37,272 --> 00:05:40,111 Do they even have thanksgiving in Africa? 69 00:05:40,193 --> 00:05:43,713 Oh, sure. Pilgrims, Indians, Tater Tots. 70 00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:45,714 It's a real party continent. 71 00:05:45,794 --> 00:05:48,034 Sawyer, guess what today is. 72 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,914 Ouch. Lunch-time poll? What's the question? 73 00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:53,436 Yeah, what's the question, Heather? 74 00:05:53,516 --> 00:05:57,397 God, you were with me in study hall when I thought of it. 75 00:05:57,476 --> 00:05:59,996 I forgot. 76 00:06:00,077 --> 00:06:02,637 Such a pillowcase. 77 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:08,359 It's not that bizarro thing you were babbling about over the phone last night, is it? 78 00:06:08,439 --> 00:06:10,078 Of course it is. 79 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:16,680 I told Dennis if he gives me another political topic, I'd spew burrito chunks. 80 00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:26,001 Oh, Veronica, I'm sorry. 81 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:27,802 Betty Finn. Gosh. 82 00:06:27,884 --> 00:06:31,403 I'm sorry I couldn't go to your birthday party last month. 83 00:06:31,484 --> 00:06:34,404 It's OK. Your mom said you had a big date. 84 00:06:34,486 --> 00:06:37,445 I'd probably miss my own birthday for a date. 85 00:06:37,526 --> 00:06:39,486 Don't say that. 86 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:44,646 I was looking around the other day and I dug up these old photographs. 87 00:06:46,008 --> 00:06:48,127 Oh. They're great. 88 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,248 Come on, Veronica. 89 00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:52,448 I was talking to somebody. 90 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,330 Great. Here comes Heather. 91 00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:03,651 Oh, shit. 92 00:07:03,732 --> 00:07:06,972 - Hi, Courtney. Love your cardigan. - Thanks. 93 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,012 I got it last night at The Limited. 94 00:07:09,093 --> 00:07:12,613 Like, totally blew my allowance. 95 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:17,133 Check this out. You win $5 million from the Publisher Sweepstakes 96 00:07:17,215 --> 00:07:19,855 and the same day the guy gives you the cheque, 97 00:07:19,935 --> 00:07:25,896 aliens land on the earth and say they'll blow up the world in two days. What do you do? 98 00:07:25,977 --> 00:07:27,577 That's easy. 99 00:07:27,657 --> 00:07:31,216 I'd just slide that wad over to my father 100 00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:34,257 because he's one of the state's top brokers. 101 00:07:34,339 --> 00:07:38,140 If I got that money, I'd give it all to the homeless. 102 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,859 Every cent. 103 00:07:40,941 --> 00:07:42,901 You're beautiful. 104 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,822 If you're going to openly be a bitch... 105 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,901 Why can't we talk to kinds of different people? 106 00:07:50,983 --> 00:07:54,783 Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa? 107 00:07:54,864 --> 00:07:58,503 If I did, I probably wouldn't mind talking to the geek squad. 108 00:08:01,986 --> 00:08:05,746 Did see that? Heather number one just looked right at me. 109 00:08:05,826 --> 00:08:09,746 Does it not bother you that everybody thinks you're a piranha? 110 00:08:09,827 --> 00:08:11,786 Like I give a shit. 111 00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:14,707 They all want me as a friend or a fuck. 112 00:08:14,788 --> 00:08:18,068 I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior. 113 00:08:27,831 --> 00:08:32,592 I can't believe this, we're going to a party at Remington University tonight 114 00:08:32,672 --> 00:08:37,792 and we're brushing up on our conversational skills with the scum of the school. 115 00:08:38,874 --> 00:08:40,033 Hi. 116 00:08:40,835 --> 00:08:42,233 Hi. 117 00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:46,434 So this is what's called a lunch-time poll. 118 00:08:46,515 --> 00:08:49,555 You win $5 million in the Publisher Sweepstakes 119 00:08:49,636 --> 00:08:52,436 and the same day whatshisface gives you the cheque 120 00:08:52,516 --> 00:08:54,315 aliens land on earth 121 00:08:54,397 --> 00:08:56,156 and say they'll blow up the world in two days. 122 00:08:56,237 --> 00:08:58,797 What are you going to do with the money? 123 00:08:58,878 --> 00:09:00,437 I'd go to Egypt. 124 00:09:00,518 --> 00:09:02,077 With a girl. 125 00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:05,599 I'd use the money for an end-of-the-world get-together. 126 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:08,399 I'd pay Madonna a million bucks to sit on my face 127 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,441 and ride like the Kentucky Derby. 128 00:09:10,521 --> 00:09:13,681 That's the most spooky-assed question I ever heard. 129 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,561 After taxes, I'll only be getting... 130 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,441 She should pay me, though. 131 00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:23,283 You go to the zoo and get a lion and put a remote control bomb up its butt... 132 00:09:23,365 --> 00:09:26,044 Then there's social security, legal fees... 133 00:09:26,124 --> 00:09:30,165 Push the button on the bomb and you and the lion die like one. 134 00:09:31,286 --> 00:09:33,446 What? 135 00:09:38,007 --> 00:09:41,126 Oh, my God. Here we go. 136 00:09:57,332 --> 00:10:00,252 Oh, my God. 137 00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:25,297 Hi, Veronica. Five keeps an infant alive. 138 00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:31,699 You wanted to be a member of the most powerful clique in school. 139 00:10:31,779 --> 00:10:35,379 If I wasn't already the head of it, I'd want the same thing. 140 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,580 Come on, Veronica. 141 00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,860 You used to have a sense of humor. 142 00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:46,502 Veronica, could you come back here a minute? 143 00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:48,862 A true friend's work is never done. 144 00:10:48,944 --> 00:10:51,264 - Gross. - Gross. 145 00:10:51,344 --> 00:10:54,784 Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87. 146 00:10:54,865 --> 00:10:58,464 - Maybe you should see a doctor. - Yeah, maybe. 147 00:10:58,546 --> 00:11:02,626 Come on, Heather, let's take another look at today's lunch. 148 00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:20,269 God, Veronica, drool much? 149 00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:22,430 His name's Jason Dean. 150 00:11:22,511 --> 00:11:24,471 He's in my American History. 151 00:11:34,874 --> 00:11:36,834 Hello, Jason Dean. 152 00:11:36,914 --> 00:11:40,033 Greetings and salutations. 153 00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:42,234 Are you a Heather? 154 00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:43,395 No. 155 00:11:43,476 --> 00:11:46,836 I'm a Veronica. Sawyer. 156 00:11:48,237 --> 00:11:51,236 This may seem like a really stupid question... 157 00:11:51,318 --> 00:11:53,518 There are no stupid questions. 158 00:11:55,639 --> 00:11:59,519 You inherit $5 million. The same day aliens land on the earth 159 00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:03,439 and say they're going to blow it up in two days. What do you do? 160 00:12:06,201 --> 00:12:09,120 That's the stupidest question I've ever heard. 161 00:12:09,202 --> 00:12:12,681 Who's that guy in the coat think he is anyways? 162 00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:14,442 Bo Diddley? 163 00:12:14,523 --> 00:12:16,963 Veronica's into his act, no doubt. 164 00:12:17,044 --> 00:12:20,083 I don't know. Probably row out to the middle of a lake, 165 00:12:20,165 --> 00:12:22,645 bring along a bottle of tequila, 166 00:12:22,725 --> 00:12:25,805 my sax and some Bach. 167 00:12:27,365 --> 00:12:28,884 How very. 168 00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:33,326 Come on, Veronica. 169 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,087 Later. 170 00:12:36,168 --> 00:12:38,128 Definitely. 171 00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:43,329 Let's kick his ass. 172 00:12:43,409 --> 00:12:45,450 Shit, Ram, we're seniors, man. 173 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,970 We're too old for kind of that kind of crap. 174 00:12:49,051 --> 00:12:51,411 Let's give him a good scare, though. 175 00:12:57,373 --> 00:12:59,132 You going to eat this? 176 00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:03,453 What did your boyfriend say when you told him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio? 177 00:13:03,535 --> 00:13:05,695 Answer him, dick. 178 00:13:05,774 --> 00:13:10,135 Hey, Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a "no fags allowed" rule? 179 00:13:10,215 --> 00:13:14,895 They seem to have an open-door policy for assholes, though, don't they? 180 00:13:17,617 --> 00:13:19,537 What did you say, dickhead? 181 00:13:19,618 --> 00:13:22,097 I'll repeat myself. 182 00:13:26,379 --> 00:13:30,700 They won't expel him, they'll just suspend him for a week or something. 183 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:34,860 He used a real gun. They should throw his ass in jail. 184 00:13:34,942 --> 00:13:37,501 No way. He used blanks. 185 00:13:37,582 --> 00:13:41,101 All JD really did was ruin two pairs of pants. 186 00:13:41,182 --> 00:13:43,142 Maybe not even that. 187 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,503 Can you bleach out urine stains? 188 00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:50,703 You seem pretty amused. I thought you had given up on high school guys. 189 00:13:50,785 --> 00:13:52,785 Never say never. 190 00:13:55,227 --> 00:13:57,307 What are you going to do, Heather? 191 00:13:57,387 --> 00:14:00,666 Take the two shots or send me out? 192 00:14:02,347 --> 00:14:04,626 Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? 193 00:14:04,709 --> 00:14:07,428 First you ask if you can be red, 194 00:14:07,508 --> 00:14:09,628 knowing that I'm always red. 195 00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:15,469 Shit. 196 00:14:17,031 --> 00:14:18,951 It's your turn, Heather. 197 00:14:24,473 --> 00:14:26,433 Easy shot, Heather. 198 00:14:26,513 --> 00:14:28,632 No way, no day. 199 00:14:28,714 --> 00:14:31,393 Give it up, girl. 200 00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:41,596 - Holy shit. - Incredible! 201 00:14:44,798 --> 00:14:48,037 So tonight's the night. Are you two excited? 202 00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:50,318 I'm giving Veronica her shot, 203 00:14:50,399 --> 00:14:52,719 her first Remington party. 204 00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:54,878 You blow it tonight, girl, 205 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,520 and it's keggers with kids all next year. 206 00:15:10,164 --> 00:15:11,483 Why? 207 00:15:11,564 --> 00:15:12,563 Why not? 208 00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,964 Heather, your mother's here. 209 00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:18,285 Come on, whoever wants a ride. 210 00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:24,806 - Bye. Thank you. - Bye-bye, girls. 211 00:15:24,886 --> 00:15:27,726 Hey, take a break, Veronica. Sit down. 212 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:33,448 So what was the first week of spring vacation withdrawal like? 213 00:15:33,528 --> 00:15:35,488 I don't know. It was OK, I guess. 214 00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:38,449 Hey, kid, isn't the prom coming up? 215 00:15:39,531 --> 00:15:41,170 I guess. 216 00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:43,330 Any contestants worth mentioning? 217 00:15:43,411 --> 00:15:44,970 Maybe. 218 00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:48,330 There's kind of a dark horse in the running. 219 00:15:49,372 --> 00:15:52,812 God, will somebody tell me why I read these spy novels? 220 00:15:52,893 --> 00:15:55,213 Because you're an idiot. 221 00:15:55,294 --> 00:15:57,654 Oh, yeah, that's it. 222 00:15:57,734 --> 00:16:00,054 You two... 223 00:16:00,135 --> 00:16:04,974 Great pâté, but I gotta motor if I want to be ready for that party tonight. 224 00:16:08,337 --> 00:16:10,016 Corn nuts! 225 00:16:10,097 --> 00:16:11,416 BQ or plain? 226 00:16:11,498 --> 00:16:13,257 BQ! 227 00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:20,058 You're going to pull a super-chug with that? 228 00:16:21,139 --> 00:16:25,340 No, but if you're nice, I'll let you buy me a slushie. 229 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:29,341 I see you know your convenience-speak pretty well. 230 00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:33,421 Yeah, well, I've been moved around all my life. 231 00:16:33,502 --> 00:16:37,342 Dallas, Baton Rouge, Vegas... 232 00:16:37,424 --> 00:16:39,543 Sherwood, Ohio. 233 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,504 There's always been a Snappy Snack Shack. 234 00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:48,064 Any town, any time, pop a ham and cheese in the microwave and feast on a turbo-dog. 235 00:16:49,106 --> 00:16:50,944 Keeps me sane. 236 00:16:52,026 --> 00:16:53,705 Really? 237 00:16:55,587 --> 00:16:59,908 That thing you pulled in the caff today was pretty severe. 238 00:16:59,988 --> 00:17:04,189 Yeah, well, the extreme always seems to make an impression. 239 00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:10,230 Did you say a cherry or Coke slushie? 240 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:13,630 I didn't. Cherry. 241 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,192 Great bike. 242 00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:26,954 Yeah. Just a humble perk from my dad's construction company. 243 00:17:27,034 --> 00:17:28,793 Seen the commercial, right? 244 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:31,915 "Bringing every state to a higher state." 245 00:17:31,996 --> 00:17:33,956 Wait a minute. Jason Dean. 246 00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:36,595 Your pop's Big Bud Dean Construction? 247 00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:39,795 It must be rough moving place to place. 248 00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:43,758 Everybody's life has got static. Is your life perfect? 249 00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:46,837 Yeah. I'm going to a Remington University party. 250 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,320 No, my life's not perfect. 251 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,440 I don't really like my friends. 252 00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:59,322 Yeah, I don't really like your friends, either. 253 00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:04,722 Well, it's just like they're people I work with 254 00:18:04,804 --> 00:18:07,883 and our job is being popular and shit. 255 00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:11,884 Maybe it's time to take a vacation. 256 00:18:21,486 --> 00:18:25,086 Hello, ladies. Throw your coats on the floor. 257 00:18:25,167 --> 00:18:27,087 Veronica, this is Brad. 258 00:18:27,169 --> 00:18:28,568 Excellent. 259 00:18:28,648 --> 00:18:31,848 Did you girls bring your partying slippers? 260 00:18:31,929 --> 00:18:34,849 - Let's party. - She loves to party. 261 00:18:40,691 --> 00:18:43,331 'Dear diary, I want to kill, 262 00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:46,611 'and it's for more than just selfish reasons. 263 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,452 'More than a spoke in my menstrual cycle. 264 00:18:49,534 --> 00:18:51,372 'You have to believe me.' 265 00:18:51,454 --> 00:18:55,814 It's so great to talk to a girl and not have to ask "what's your major?" 266 00:18:55,895 --> 00:18:57,855 I hate that. 267 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,376 So, when you go to college, 268 00:19:06,457 --> 00:19:09,137 what subjects do you think you'll study? 269 00:19:11,899 --> 00:19:15,018 Come on, David. Shouldn't we get back to the party? 270 00:19:15,099 --> 00:19:16,739 We will. 271 00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:19,700 It's just you're so hot tonight. 272 00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:21,740 I can't control myself. 273 00:19:32,383 --> 00:19:35,663 'I can't explain it but I'm allowed an understanding 274 00:19:35,744 --> 00:19:40,344 'that my parents and these Remington assholes have chosen to ignore. 275 00:19:40,425 --> 00:19:42,905 'I understand that I must stop Heather.' 276 00:20:17,554 --> 00:20:19,834 How's my little cheerleader? 277 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:26,674 Oh, I know everyone at your high school isn't so uptight. 278 00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:29,716 - Come on. - I don't feel so good, OK? 279 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,716 Let's do it on the coats. It'll be excellent? 280 00:20:32,797 --> 00:20:35,197 I have a prepared speech I tell my suitor 281 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,996 when he wants more than I'd like to give him. 282 00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:39,959 Gee, blank, I had a really nice... 283 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:42,519 Save the speeches for Malcolm X. 284 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,840 I just want to get laid. 285 00:20:48,641 --> 00:20:51,081 You don't deserve my fucking speech. 286 00:20:52,442 --> 00:20:55,161 'Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out 287 00:20:55,243 --> 00:20:58,082 'for a bunch of Swatchdogs and Diet Cokeheads. 288 00:20:58,163 --> 00:21:01,842 'Killing Heather would be like offing the Wicked Witch of the West. 289 00:21:01,924 --> 00:21:05,123 'Wait, East. West! I sound like a fucking psycho.' 290 00:21:16,287 --> 00:21:19,806 What's your damage? Brad says you're being a cooze. 291 00:21:19,888 --> 00:21:23,769 I feel really sick, like I'm gonna throw up. Can we please jam now? 292 00:21:23,848 --> 00:21:25,607 No. Hell, no. 293 00:21:36,731 --> 00:21:40,171 'Tomorrow I'll be kissing her aerobicised ass 294 00:21:40,252 --> 00:21:43,892 'but tonight let me dream of a world without Heather, 295 00:21:43,973 --> 00:21:46,093 'a world where I am free.' 296 00:21:53,015 --> 00:21:55,095 You stupid fuck. 297 00:21:55,176 --> 00:21:57,575 You goddamn bitch. 298 00:21:57,657 --> 00:22:02,297 You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. 299 00:22:02,377 --> 00:22:05,857 You were a Bluebird, you were a Brownie, 300 00:22:05,938 --> 00:22:08,578 you were a Girl Scout Cookie. 301 00:22:08,658 --> 00:22:11,298 I got you into a Remington party. 302 00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:15,099 What's my thanks? It's on the hallway carpet. 303 00:22:15,181 --> 00:22:16,980 I got paid in puke. 304 00:22:17,061 --> 00:22:20,381 Lick it up, baby. Lick it up. 305 00:22:21,982 --> 00:22:24,062 Monday morning you're history. 306 00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:26,382 I'll tell everyone about tonight. 307 00:22:26,463 --> 00:22:29,742 Transfer to Washington, transfer to Jefferson, 308 00:22:29,824 --> 00:22:34,344 no one at Westerburg's gonna let you play their reindeer games. 309 00:22:42,907 --> 00:22:45,986 Dreadful etiquette. I apologize. 310 00:22:46,988 --> 00:22:48,587 That's OK. 311 00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:54,909 I saw the croquet set up in the back. You up for a match? 312 00:23:04,832 --> 00:23:07,152 I thank you. 313 00:23:07,232 --> 00:23:11,593 That was my first game of strip croquet. 314 00:23:11,673 --> 00:23:13,673 You're welcome. 315 00:23:13,754 --> 00:23:17,473 It's a lot more interesting than just flinging off your clothes 316 00:23:17,554 --> 00:23:20,114 and boning away on a neighbor's swing set. 317 00:23:20,196 --> 00:23:22,676 There's lots to be said for throwing off... 318 00:23:26,876 --> 00:23:28,916 What a night. 319 00:23:28,998 --> 00:23:30,836 What a life. 320 00:23:30,918 --> 00:23:34,437 They wanted to move me into high school out of the sixth grade 321 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,359 because I was supposed to be this big genius. 322 00:23:37,439 --> 00:23:39,439 Then we decided to chuck the idea 323 00:23:39,519 --> 00:23:43,319 because I'd have trouble making friends, blah, blah, blah. 324 00:23:43,401 --> 00:23:45,441 Now blah, blah, blah is all I do. 325 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,519 I use my grand IQ to decide what color gloss to wear 326 00:23:48,602 --> 00:23:51,482 and how to hit three keggers before curfew. 327 00:24:00,725 --> 00:24:04,605 Heather Chandler is one bitch that deserves to die. 328 00:24:04,686 --> 00:24:06,965 Killing her won't solve anything. 329 00:24:08,527 --> 00:24:11,766 I say we just grow up, be adults and die. 330 00:24:14,568 --> 00:24:16,488 But before that... 331 00:24:16,568 --> 00:24:19,928 I'd love to see Heather Chandler puke her guts out. 332 00:24:24,769 --> 00:24:28,530 Trust me, she skips the Saturday morning trip to grandma's 333 00:24:28,611 --> 00:24:30,571 even when she's not hung over. 334 00:24:31,891 --> 00:24:35,331 We'll just concoct ourselves a little hangover cure 335 00:24:35,413 --> 00:24:39,052 that'll induce her to spew red, white and blue, then. 336 00:24:40,694 --> 00:24:44,895 What about milk and orange juice? What's the up-chuck factor on that? 337 00:24:44,974 --> 00:24:48,373 I'm a no-rust-build-up man, myself. 338 00:24:48,456 --> 00:24:50,415 Don't be a dick. 339 00:24:50,496 --> 00:24:52,376 That stuff will kill her. 340 00:25:00,017 --> 00:25:03,296 I know, we can cook up some soup and put it in a Coke. 341 00:25:04,299 --> 00:25:06,138 That's pretty sick, eh? 342 00:25:06,220 --> 00:25:09,540 Should it be chicken noodle or bean with bacon? 343 00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:14,139 Put a lid on that stuff. I say we go with big blue here. 344 00:25:14,222 --> 00:25:15,941 What are you talking about? 345 00:25:16,022 --> 00:25:20,942 She would never drink anything that looked like that, anyway. 346 00:25:21,023 --> 00:25:24,223 So we'll... put it in this. 347 00:25:24,303 --> 00:25:26,943 She won't be able to see what she's drinking. 348 00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:28,984 Let me get a cup, jerk. 349 00:25:33,026 --> 00:25:34,906 OK. 350 00:25:35,987 --> 00:25:38,867 Milk and orange juice. 351 00:25:38,947 --> 00:25:43,387 Maybe we could, like, cough up a phlegm globber in it or something. 352 00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:56,389 - No? - Nothing. 353 00:25:56,472 --> 00:26:00,432 Oh, well. Milk and orange juice will do quite nicely. 354 00:26:00,512 --> 00:26:02,673 You're chicken. 355 00:26:02,752 --> 00:26:04,712 You're not funny. 356 00:26:12,074 --> 00:26:13,833 I'm sorry. 357 00:26:29,318 --> 00:26:31,958 - Veronica? - What? 358 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:36,120 Never mind. I'll, er, carry the cup. 359 00:26:40,561 --> 00:26:42,640 Morning, Heather. 360 00:26:44,441 --> 00:26:48,322 Veronica... and Jesse James. 361 00:26:48,403 --> 00:26:50,763 Quelle surprise. 362 00:26:50,844 --> 00:26:54,043 Hear about Veronica's affection for regurgitation? 363 00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:57,324 Last night we both said things we didn't mean. 364 00:26:57,405 --> 00:26:59,124 Did we? 365 00:26:59,205 --> 00:27:01,043 How did you get in? 366 00:27:01,126 --> 00:27:05,086 Veronica knew you'd have a hangover 367 00:27:05,167 --> 00:27:07,647 so I whipped this up for you. 368 00:27:07,728 --> 00:27:09,487 It's a family recipe. 369 00:27:09,568 --> 00:27:11,808 What, you put a phlegm globber in it? 370 00:27:11,888 --> 00:27:14,848 I'm not going to drink that piss. 371 00:27:14,929 --> 00:27:17,488 I knew this stuff'd be too intense for her. 372 00:27:19,210 --> 00:27:21,530 Intense. 373 00:27:21,610 --> 00:27:23,329 Grow up. 374 00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:27,611 You think I'll drink it just because you call me chicken? 375 00:27:30,812 --> 00:27:32,732 Just give me the cup, jerk. 376 00:27:51,577 --> 00:27:53,617 Corn nuts. 377 00:28:09,381 --> 00:28:11,501 Oh, my God. 378 00:28:11,582 --> 00:28:14,022 I can't believe it. 379 00:28:14,103 --> 00:28:16,062 I just killed my best friend. 380 00:28:16,144 --> 00:28:18,024 And your worst enemy. 381 00:28:18,104 --> 00:28:20,063 Same difference. 382 00:28:28,746 --> 00:28:30,946 What are we going to tell the cops? 383 00:28:33,507 --> 00:28:36,067 "Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge." 384 00:28:36,147 --> 00:28:38,627 Cops. 385 00:28:38,708 --> 00:28:41,707 I can't believe this is my life. 386 00:28:41,789 --> 00:28:44,389 Oh, my God. 387 00:28:44,469 --> 00:28:46,989 I'm going to have to send my SAT scores 388 00:28:47,069 --> 00:28:49,469 to San Quentin instead of Stanford. 389 00:28:52,151 --> 00:28:54,791 All right, just a little freaked, here. 390 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,911 At least you got what you wanted. 391 00:28:58,993 --> 00:29:00,874 Got what I wanted? 392 00:29:00,953 --> 00:29:03,873 It's one thing to want somebody out of your life, 393 00:29:03,953 --> 00:29:08,233 it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer. 394 00:29:32,281 --> 00:29:36,000 All right, we did a murder and that's a crime, 395 00:29:36,082 --> 00:29:41,883 but if this were like a suicide thing, you know? 396 00:29:44,603 --> 00:29:46,322 Like a suicide thing? 397 00:29:46,404 --> 00:29:48,683 Yeah, yeah. 398 00:29:49,764 --> 00:29:53,685 You can do Heather's handwriting as well as your own, right? 399 00:29:54,766 --> 00:29:56,445 Right? 400 00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:05,208 - Yeah. - All right. 401 00:30:07,169 --> 00:30:10,008 You might think what I've done is shocking? 402 00:30:10,089 --> 00:30:11,289 Yeah. 403 00:30:17,091 --> 00:30:20,171 To me, though, suicide is the natural answer 404 00:30:20,251 --> 00:30:23,810 to the myriad of problems life has given me. 405 00:30:23,892 --> 00:30:27,131 That's good but Heather would never use the word myriad. 406 00:30:27,213 --> 00:30:29,534 This is the last thing she'll ever write, 407 00:30:29,613 --> 00:30:32,533 she'll want to use as many 50-cent words as possible. 408 00:30:32,614 --> 00:30:35,574 She missed myriad on the vocab test two weeks ago. 409 00:30:35,656 --> 00:30:37,696 That only proves my point more. 410 00:30:37,775 --> 00:30:40,855 The word is a badge for her failures at school. 411 00:30:40,935 --> 00:30:43,975 Oh. OK, you're probably right. 412 00:30:46,577 --> 00:30:52,738 People think just because you're beautiful and popular, 413 00:30:52,819 --> 00:30:56,218 life is easy and fun. 414 00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:58,540 Yeah. 415 00:30:58,621 --> 00:31:04,382 No one understood I had feelings too. 416 00:31:07,302 --> 00:31:10,301 I die knowing no one knew the real me. 417 00:31:13,024 --> 00:31:15,184 That's good. 418 00:31:15,264 --> 00:31:17,224 Have you done this before? 419 00:31:20,465 --> 00:31:23,505 Any other principal would take the same position... 420 00:31:23,586 --> 00:31:25,626 keep things business as usual. 421 00:31:25,706 --> 00:31:28,265 Heather Chandler's not your everyday suicide. 422 00:31:28,347 --> 00:31:31,866 - She was very popular. - If I let these kids out before lunch, 423 00:31:31,948 --> 00:31:34,987 the switchboard would light up like a Christmas tree. 424 00:31:35,068 --> 00:31:40,748 I was impressed that she made proper use of the word myriad in her suicide note. 425 00:31:40,830 --> 00:31:44,069 I find it profoundly disturbing 426 00:31:44,151 --> 00:31:47,510 that we're told of the tragic destruction of youth 427 00:31:47,592 --> 00:31:50,472 and all we can think to talk about 428 00:31:50,552 --> 00:31:53,951 is adequate mourning times and misused vocabulary words. 429 00:31:54,034 --> 00:31:55,833 Oh, Christ! 430 00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:59,074 We must revel in this revealing moment. 431 00:31:59,153 --> 00:32:02,872 Look, I suggest that we get everybody together, 432 00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:05,954 both students and teachers, in the cafeteria 433 00:32:06,035 --> 00:32:09,995 and just talk and feel... 434 00:32:10,077 --> 00:32:11,755 together. 435 00:32:11,837 --> 00:32:15,157 Thank you, Ms Fleming. You call me when the shuttle lands. 436 00:32:15,238 --> 00:32:17,718 Now, is this Heather the cheerleader? 437 00:32:17,798 --> 00:32:20,438 That would be Heather McNamara. 438 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:24,519 Damn. I'd be willing to go half a day for a cheerleader. 439 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:28,920 God, it's unfair. It's just so unfair. 440 00:32:29,001 --> 00:32:32,080 We should get off a whole week, not just an hour. 441 00:32:32,162 --> 00:32:33,881 Write the school board. 442 00:32:33,962 --> 00:32:36,681 Watch it, you might be digesting food. 443 00:32:36,763 --> 00:32:39,643 - Yeah, where is your urge to purge? - Fuck it. 444 00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:41,483 Look... 445 00:32:43,964 --> 00:32:47,203 Heather left behind one of her Swatches. 446 00:32:48,285 --> 00:32:50,845 She'd want you to have it, Veronica. 447 00:32:50,926 --> 00:32:55,646 She always said you couldn't accessorize for shit. 448 00:32:55,727 --> 00:32:57,807 Sorry to hear about your friend. 449 00:32:57,887 --> 00:33:00,606 I thought she was your usual airhead bitch. 450 00:33:00,688 --> 00:33:02,608 Guess I was wrong. 451 00:33:02,688 --> 00:33:04,648 We all were. 452 00:33:07,090 --> 00:33:08,889 What a waste. 453 00:33:10,050 --> 00:33:12,009 Oh, the humanity. 454 00:33:19,212 --> 00:33:20,811 Veronica? 455 00:33:28,895 --> 00:33:31,614 Veronica, what are you doing? 456 00:33:43,098 --> 00:33:49,058 I'm just so thrilled... to finally have an example 457 00:33:49,139 --> 00:33:53,059 of the profound sensitivity of which a human animal is capable. 458 00:33:53,140 --> 00:33:56,740 That example is Heather Chandler. 459 00:33:56,822 --> 00:33:58,500 I have her note. 460 00:34:00,822 --> 00:34:03,622 I'm gonna pass this note around the class 461 00:34:03,702 --> 00:34:07,102 so you can all feel its pathetic beauty for yourself. 462 00:34:08,064 --> 00:34:10,183 And while we do this, 463 00:34:10,265 --> 00:34:13,705 I think it's a good opportunity to share... 464 00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:17,625 the feelings that this suicide has spurred in all of us. 465 00:34:17,706 --> 00:34:20,426 Now, who would like to begin? 466 00:34:20,506 --> 00:34:22,466 I heard it was really gnarly. 467 00:34:22,546 --> 00:34:26,307 She sucked down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant 468 00:34:26,387 --> 00:34:28,026 and then smash! 469 00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:32,787 Tracy, let's not rehash the coroner's report, let's talk emotions. 470 00:34:33,949 --> 00:34:36,309 Heather and I used to go out 471 00:34:36,390 --> 00:34:38,470 but she said I was boring. 472 00:34:38,550 --> 00:34:41,430 But now I realize I really wasn't boring... 473 00:34:41,512 --> 00:34:44,231 it's just that she was dissatisfied with her life. 474 00:34:46,992 --> 00:34:49,192 That's... very good, Peter. 475 00:34:56,194 --> 00:34:59,593 Are we going to be tested on this? 476 00:34:59,675 --> 00:35:01,635 'We were the same size 477 00:35:01,716 --> 00:35:05,756 'so we could borrow each other's clothes, mix it up. It was fun.' 478 00:35:05,838 --> 00:35:10,198 "I remember I won her a rhino at the 4-H Club... '" 479 00:35:10,278 --> 00:35:12,678 You're an asshole. Mute him. 480 00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:18,319 - 'We liked the same clothes... ' - How many networks did you run to? 481 00:35:18,399 --> 00:35:20,639 'It won't be the same without her.' 482 00:35:20,721 --> 00:35:23,921 What are you talking about? You hated her. She hated you. 483 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,320 'Every English class I looked forward to seeing her... ' 484 00:35:27,401 --> 00:35:30,641 Heather Chandler is more popular than ever now. 485 00:35:32,003 --> 00:35:34,802 - Scary stuff. - Yeah. 486 00:35:36,644 --> 00:35:39,004 Hey, son, I didn't hear you come in. 487 00:35:39,084 --> 00:35:42,724 Hey, Dad, how was work today? 488 00:35:46,847 --> 00:35:50,927 It was miserable. Some damn tribe of withered old bitches 489 00:35:51,007 --> 00:35:54,207 doesn't want us to terminate that fleabag hotel. 490 00:35:54,288 --> 00:35:58,688 All because Glen Miller and his band once took a shit there. 491 00:35:58,769 --> 00:36:01,968 Just like Kansas. You remember fucking Kansas? 492 00:36:02,050 --> 00:36:04,490 That was the one with the wheat, right? 493 00:36:04,570 --> 00:36:08,371 Yeah. Save the Memorial Oak Tree Society. 494 00:36:08,451 --> 00:36:10,851 Showed those fucks. 495 00:36:10,932 --> 00:36:14,973 30 of those 4th of July fireworks attached to the trunk. 496 00:36:15,053 --> 00:36:17,013 Arraigned but acquitted. 497 00:36:17,093 --> 00:36:21,694 Gosh, Pop, I almost forgot to introduce my girlfriend. 498 00:36:21,774 --> 00:36:23,694 Oh. Veronica, this is my dad. 499 00:36:23,775 --> 00:36:25,734 Dad, Veronica. 500 00:36:25,816 --> 00:36:26,975 Hi. 501 00:36:28,656 --> 00:36:32,656 Son, why don't you ask your little friend to stay for dinner? 502 00:36:32,736 --> 00:36:36,336 I can't. My mom's making my favorite meal tonight... 503 00:36:36,417 --> 00:36:38,777 spaghetti, lots of oregano. 504 00:36:38,859 --> 00:36:40,498 How nice. 505 00:36:40,578 --> 00:36:42,498 The last time I saw my mom 506 00:36:42,579 --> 00:36:46,660 she was waving from a library window in Texas. Right, Dad? 507 00:36:48,381 --> 00:36:50,140 Right... 508 00:36:50,221 --> 00:36:51,580 son. 509 00:36:54,142 --> 00:36:56,102 Right. 510 00:36:58,023 --> 00:37:00,582 Take a break, Veronica. Sit down. 511 00:37:03,384 --> 00:37:07,103 So what was the first day after Heather's suicide like? 512 00:37:07,185 --> 00:37:09,225 Well, it was OK, I guess. 513 00:37:10,305 --> 00:37:12,225 Terrible thing. 514 00:37:12,306 --> 00:37:16,226 So, will we get to meet this dark horse prom contender? 515 00:37:16,307 --> 00:37:18,787 Maybe. 516 00:37:18,867 --> 00:37:22,506 God, will somebody tell me why I smoke these things? 517 00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:24,827 Because you're an idiot. 518 00:37:25,709 --> 00:37:27,829 Oh, yeah. That's it. 519 00:37:27,909 --> 00:37:29,989 You two... 520 00:37:30,070 --> 00:37:34,070 Great pâté but I have to motor if want to be ready for that funeral. 521 00:37:39,592 --> 00:37:41,391 I blame not Heather 522 00:37:41,472 --> 00:37:44,871 but rather a society 523 00:37:44,953 --> 00:37:47,113 that tells its youth 524 00:37:47,193 --> 00:37:52,273 that the answers can be found in the MTV video games. 525 00:37:53,395 --> 00:37:57,915 We must pray that the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, 526 00:37:57,996 --> 00:38:01,515 know the name of that righteous dude 527 00:38:01,597 --> 00:38:04,557 who can solve their problems. 528 00:38:04,638 --> 00:38:08,719 It's Jesus Christ and he's in the book. 529 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,199 Amen. 530 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:19,200 'O God, this is a tragic thing 531 00:38:19,281 --> 00:38:22,560 'and sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it. 532 00:38:22,642 --> 00:38:24,842 'Please send Heather to heaven.' 533 00:38:24,921 --> 00:38:27,681 'Dear God, please make sure this never happens to me, 534 00:38:27,763 --> 00:38:29,722 'I don't think I can handle suicide. 535 00:38:29,804 --> 00:38:34,564 'Early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen.' 536 00:38:34,645 --> 00:38:39,525 'Jesus God in heaven, why did you kill such hot snatch? 537 00:38:39,605 --> 00:38:43,445 'It's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. 538 00:38:43,526 --> 00:38:45,525 'Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven, 539 00:38:45,608 --> 00:38:48,567 'pray for all us sinners so we don't get caught. 540 00:38:48,648 --> 00:38:50,607 'Another joke, man.' 541 00:38:50,688 --> 00:38:54,448 'I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times. 542 00:38:54,529 --> 00:38:58,048 'I felt bad every time I did it but I kept doing it. 543 00:38:58,129 --> 00:39:00,769 'Now I know you understood everything. 544 00:39:00,851 --> 00:39:03,650 'Praise Jesus. Hallelujah.' 545 00:39:04,932 --> 00:39:06,892 'Hi. I'm sorry. 546 00:39:06,972 --> 00:39:12,733 'Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler, but, hey, who am I trying to kid, right? 547 00:39:12,813 --> 00:39:16,253 'I just want my high school to be a nice place. 548 00:39:16,334 --> 00:39:18,012 'Amen. 549 00:39:18,095 --> 00:39:20,055 'Did that sound bitchy? ' 550 00:39:24,736 --> 00:39:28,016 Veronica, what are you doing tonight? 551 00:39:29,258 --> 00:39:33,498 I don't know. Mourning. Maybe watch some TV. Why? 552 00:39:35,139 --> 00:39:38,258 Well, Ram asked me out tonight... 553 00:39:38,339 --> 00:39:41,459 but he wants to double with Kurt... 554 00:39:41,540 --> 00:39:43,980 and Kurt doesn't have a date. 555 00:39:44,061 --> 00:39:46,620 Heather, I have something going with JD. 556 00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:50,020 Please, Veronica. Put Billy the Kid on hold tonight. 557 00:39:50,102 --> 00:39:52,181 I'll be your best friend. 558 00:39:55,423 --> 00:39:58,142 So we on tonight, man, or what? 559 00:39:58,224 --> 00:40:00,184 I don't know. 560 00:40:00,265 --> 00:40:02,624 I still got to talk to Heather, dude. 561 00:40:02,705 --> 00:40:04,625 Weird funeral? 562 00:40:05,746 --> 00:40:08,346 That pudwapper just stepped on my foot. 563 00:40:08,426 --> 00:40:11,385 - Let's kick his ass. - Cool off. 564 00:40:11,467 --> 00:40:13,947 - We're seniors. - Goddamn geek! 565 00:40:15,108 --> 00:40:18,869 Well. Sit and spin. 566 00:40:18,948 --> 00:40:21,348 That little prick. 567 00:40:33,111 --> 00:40:35,511 You piece of shit fag. You like to suck big dicks? 568 00:40:35,593 --> 00:40:38,673 - Cut it out. - Say, "I like to suck big dicks." 569 00:40:38,753 --> 00:40:41,752 Leave him alone, Ram. 570 00:40:44,474 --> 00:40:46,033 Say it. 571 00:40:48,796 --> 00:40:50,235 Say it! 572 00:40:50,316 --> 00:40:51,955 OK, OK. 573 00:40:53,276 --> 00:40:55,236 You like to suck big dicks. 574 00:41:00,398 --> 00:41:02,358 I like to suck big dicks. 575 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,319 I can't get enough of 'em. Are you satisfied? 576 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,280 Don't worry. Ram's been so sweet lately, 577 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,360 consoling me and stuff. 578 00:41:13,441 --> 00:41:16,521 It'll be really very. Promise. 579 00:41:16,602 --> 00:41:19,802 OK. Just as long as it won't be one of those nights 580 00:41:19,882 --> 00:41:24,002 where they get shitfaced and take us to a pasture to tip cows. 581 00:41:29,765 --> 00:41:32,604 - Is it sleeping, dude? - I think so, man. 582 00:41:36,246 --> 00:41:37,805 Come here. 583 00:41:37,887 --> 00:41:42,927 Oh, shit. Cow tipping is the fucking greatest! Punch it in. 584 00:41:45,128 --> 00:41:48,168 Shit. On the count of three, guy. 585 00:41:49,689 --> 00:41:51,328 One... 586 00:41:51,409 --> 00:41:53,248 two... three! 587 00:42:03,013 --> 00:42:07,253 When I get that feeling, I need sexual healing. 588 00:42:07,333 --> 00:42:09,413 Yeah, right, asshole. 589 00:42:15,855 --> 00:42:17,815 What is this shit? 590 00:42:24,298 --> 00:42:27,058 Doing a favor for Heather. Double date. 591 00:42:27,137 --> 00:42:30,256 I tried to tell you at the funeral but you rode off. 592 00:42:30,339 --> 00:42:32,298 Another fucking Heather. 593 00:42:35,420 --> 00:42:39,220 I'm sorry. I'm feeling a little superior tonight. 594 00:42:40,421 --> 00:42:42,381 Seven schools in seven states 595 00:42:42,461 --> 00:42:45,860 and the only thing different is my locker combination. 596 00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:53,503 Our love is god. Let's go get a slushie. 597 00:43:04,226 --> 00:43:09,026 I'm not belittling the foodless fund, Peter, but we're talking teen suicide here. 598 00:43:09,107 --> 00:43:14,067 The number one song in America today is Teenage Suicide Don't Do It by Big Fun. 599 00:43:14,149 --> 00:43:19,069 Westerburg finally got one of these things and I'm not gonna blow it. 600 00:43:19,149 --> 00:43:23,909 So Heather gets the front page and I get crammed in by the Taco Bell coupon. 601 00:43:23,991 --> 00:43:28,351 Hi, guys, I came to check up on this week's lunch-time poll topic. 602 00:43:28,431 --> 00:43:31,871 Don't worry about it, Veronica. Sit down? 603 00:43:31,953 --> 00:43:36,433 That funeral yesterday must have really been rough? 604 00:43:36,514 --> 00:43:37,913 Oh, yeah. 605 00:43:37,994 --> 00:43:42,875 We were wondering if you had any poems, artwork that Heather did 606 00:43:42,955 --> 00:43:46,595 that we can put in the Heather Chandler yearbook spread? 607 00:43:46,676 --> 00:43:48,475 The what? 608 00:43:48,557 --> 00:43:54,277 Look, it's a two-page layout with her suicide note right up here in the corner. 609 00:43:56,078 --> 00:43:58,717 It's more tasteful than it sounds. 610 00:43:58,799 --> 00:44:02,680 I don't know, Dennis, this stuff leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 611 00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:04,759 Like last night, Veronica? 612 00:44:08,521 --> 00:44:11,441 Excuse me? I don't get it. 613 00:44:11,522 --> 00:44:13,321 You did last night. 614 00:44:13,402 --> 00:44:15,322 Kurt told us of your little date. 615 00:44:15,403 --> 00:44:19,163 Yeah, and? I left him drunk and flailing in cow shit. 616 00:44:19,244 --> 00:44:22,404 Well, I don't know. He was really detailed. 617 00:44:22,484 --> 00:44:24,724 Shut up, Courtney. 618 00:44:24,805 --> 00:44:27,765 No, don't shut up. I'd like to know exactly what I did. 619 00:44:28,846 --> 00:44:32,806 Come on, Veronica. I'll show you the lunch-time poll topic. 620 00:44:34,927 --> 00:44:36,926 What the fuck? 621 00:44:37,007 --> 00:44:40,047 I rarely listen to Neanderthals like Kurt Kelly 622 00:44:40,129 --> 00:44:42,009 but he said that he and Ram 623 00:44:42,088 --> 00:44:46,208 had a nice little sword fight in your mouth last night. 624 00:44:46,290 --> 00:44:50,370 Ew! That son of a bitch. 625 00:44:52,250 --> 00:44:53,889 Hi, Kurt? 626 00:44:53,971 --> 00:44:56,610 Hi, this is Veronica Sawyer. 627 00:44:56,692 --> 00:45:01,971 I didn't expect to be calling, either. I guess my emotions took over. 628 00:45:02,054 --> 00:45:06,734 I was wondering if you wanted those things you've been saying to really happen. 629 00:45:06,814 --> 00:45:10,774 It's always been a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once. 630 00:45:10,855 --> 00:45:13,574 Oh, sure, you can write to Penthouse forum. 631 00:45:15,497 --> 00:45:17,896 Yeah, in the woods behind the school. 632 00:45:17,977 --> 00:45:19,776 At dawn. 633 00:45:19,857 --> 00:45:21,817 Don't forget Ram. 634 00:45:29,699 --> 00:45:35,259 Why am I writing a suicide note when we're just going to be shooting them with blanks? 635 00:45:35,341 --> 00:45:38,381 We're not gonna be using blanks this time. 636 00:45:39,502 --> 00:45:41,542 You can't be serious. 637 00:45:41,622 --> 00:45:43,421 I am. 638 00:45:43,503 --> 00:45:46,422 Listen, my Bonnie and Clyde days are over. 639 00:45:46,504 --> 00:45:49,583 Wait a second, wait a second. Do you take German? 640 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:51,263 French. 641 00:45:51,345 --> 00:45:53,864 All right. These are echt Luger bullets. 642 00:45:53,946 --> 00:45:57,225 My grandfather snared a shitload of them back in WWII. 643 00:45:57,306 --> 00:45:59,706 They're like tranquillizers, 644 00:45:59,787 --> 00:46:05,027 only they break the skin's surface enough to cause blood but no real damage. 645 00:46:05,107 --> 00:46:08,386 So it looks like the person's been shot and killed 646 00:46:08,468 --> 00:46:11,787 and really they're just unconscious and bleeding? 647 00:46:11,869 --> 00:46:13,468 Oh. 648 00:46:13,550 --> 00:46:15,349 Right. 649 00:46:15,430 --> 00:46:19,510 See, we shoot Kurt and Ram, make it look like they shot each other 650 00:46:19,591 --> 00:46:24,550 and by the time they regain consciousness, they'll be the laughing stock of the school. 651 00:46:24,632 --> 00:46:27,751 The note's the punch line. How'd that turn out? 652 00:46:27,834 --> 00:46:30,953 First tell me the similarity is not incredible. 653 00:46:32,354 --> 00:46:34,113 It's incredible similarity. 654 00:46:36,315 --> 00:46:38,355 OK. 655 00:46:40,036 --> 00:46:42,115 "Ram and I died the day we realized" 656 00:46:42,196 --> 00:46:46,676 "we could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and un-understanding world." 657 00:46:46,758 --> 00:46:50,878 "The joy we shared in each other's arms was greater than any touchdown," 658 00:46:50,958 --> 00:46:53,118 "yet we were forced to live the lie" 659 00:46:53,199 --> 00:46:56,598 "of sexist, beer-guzzling, jock assholes." 660 00:46:56,679 --> 00:46:58,919 That's perfect. 661 00:46:58,999 --> 00:47:02,479 Let's take a look at some of the homosexual artifacts 662 00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,520 I dug up to plant at the scene. 663 00:47:06,201 --> 00:47:08,920 All right. An issue of Stud Puppy. 664 00:47:09,002 --> 00:47:11,522 That's great! 665 00:47:11,603 --> 00:47:15,882 A candy dish, a Joan Crawford postcard. 666 00:47:15,965 --> 00:47:17,885 Good. 667 00:47:17,965 --> 00:47:19,925 Some mascara. 668 00:47:21,084 --> 00:47:25,685 All right, now, here's the one perfecto thing I picked up... 669 00:47:25,766 --> 00:47:26,926 mineral water. 670 00:47:27,006 --> 00:47:31,846 Come on, a lot of people drink mineral water. It's come a long way. 671 00:47:31,927 --> 00:47:33,646 Yeah, but this is Ohio. 672 00:47:33,728 --> 00:47:37,328 If you don't have a brewski in your hand, you might as well be wearing a dress. 673 00:47:37,408 --> 00:47:39,608 Oh, you're so smart. 674 00:47:50,252 --> 00:47:52,332 Hi, Veronica. 675 00:47:52,412 --> 00:47:54,332 Hi, guys. 676 00:47:56,453 --> 00:47:58,493 Glad you could make it. 677 00:48:06,775 --> 00:48:08,895 So should I just whip it out or... 678 00:48:08,976 --> 00:48:13,017 Well, I've made a circle on each side of the clearing. 679 00:48:13,097 --> 00:48:15,537 Ram, you come over here. 680 00:48:15,618 --> 00:48:17,057 Kurt. 681 00:48:18,898 --> 00:48:22,177 When you get to the circle, strip. 682 00:48:22,259 --> 00:48:24,218 What about you? 683 00:48:24,300 --> 00:48:27,659 I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport. 684 00:48:29,181 --> 00:48:30,540 Oh. 685 00:48:30,622 --> 00:48:32,261 Good idea. 686 00:48:40,303 --> 00:48:43,463 OK. Count of three, guys. 687 00:48:45,385 --> 00:48:47,024 One... 688 00:48:49,666 --> 00:48:51,385 two... 689 00:48:52,947 --> 00:48:55,707 Three! 690 00:48:58,187 --> 00:49:00,146 You missed him completely? 691 00:49:00,228 --> 00:49:02,227 It was worth it just to see the look... 692 00:49:02,309 --> 00:49:05,189 Don't move. I'll get him back. 693 00:49:41,398 --> 00:49:43,157 Ha! 694 00:50:11,124 --> 00:50:13,123 - No. - Now! 695 00:50:24,208 --> 00:50:26,767 - Hey, I heard it that time. - What? 696 00:50:26,847 --> 00:50:28,927 Another gunshot from the woods. 697 00:50:29,008 --> 00:50:30,967 Oh, shit. Let's roll! 698 00:50:31,049 --> 00:50:32,929 Kurt doesn't look too good. 699 00:50:33,008 --> 00:50:35,128 Just remember he's left-handed. 700 00:50:35,209 --> 00:50:38,489 Keep going until you hit the clearing. 701 00:50:38,570 --> 00:50:40,689 Come on. 702 00:50:44,772 --> 00:50:47,132 - Mother of shit! - Call in. 703 00:50:47,212 --> 00:50:51,532 Hey, I heard something out there. 704 00:50:51,613 --> 00:50:53,573 I'm checking it out. 705 00:50:53,653 --> 00:50:57,292 This is Officer McCord. I've got two dead bodies in the woods 706 00:50:57,374 --> 00:50:59,133 behind Westerburg High. 707 00:51:45,345 --> 00:51:49,226 'Milner, can you hear me? What's going down? ' 708 00:51:49,306 --> 00:51:53,025 Yeah... I think what I heard was just a bunny rabbit. 709 00:51:53,107 --> 00:51:56,786 All I've got here is two kids making out in a station wagon. 710 00:51:56,868 --> 00:51:58,749 'Should I pry them apart? ' 711 00:51:58,828 --> 00:52:01,988 No. Forget it. I got all the answers back here. 712 00:52:02,069 --> 00:52:03,708 Hey... 713 00:52:03,790 --> 00:52:06,349 are they naked? 714 00:52:17,673 --> 00:52:20,312 Yeah, so what's the deal? 715 00:52:20,394 --> 00:52:23,913 Suicide. Double suicide. They shot each other. 716 00:52:23,995 --> 00:52:26,035 Hey, that's Kurt Kelly. 717 00:52:26,115 --> 00:52:28,515 Yeah, and the linebacker, Ram Sweeney. 718 00:52:30,436 --> 00:52:34,075 My God, suicide. Why? 719 00:52:35,357 --> 00:52:38,356 Does this answer your question? 720 00:52:38,438 --> 00:52:40,758 Oh, man. They were fags. 721 00:52:40,839 --> 00:52:45,479 Listen up. "We realized we could never reveal our forbidden love" 722 00:52:45,559 --> 00:52:48,879 "to an uncaring and un-understanding world." 723 00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,639 Jesus H Christ! 724 00:52:51,721 --> 00:52:54,561 The quarterback buggering the linebacker. 725 00:52:55,642 --> 00:52:57,562 What a waste. 726 00:52:57,642 --> 00:52:59,602 Oh, the humanity. 727 00:53:33,610 --> 00:53:35,930 So we killed them, didn't we? 728 00:53:36,012 --> 00:53:38,131 Yeah. Of course. 729 00:54:03,217 --> 00:54:06,697 Echt Luger bullets. I'm such an idiot. 730 00:54:09,739 --> 00:54:13,458 Look, you believed it because you wanted to believe it. 731 00:54:13,540 --> 00:54:18,300 Your true feelings were too gross and icky for you to face. 732 00:54:19,581 --> 00:54:22,420 I did not want them dead. 733 00:54:23,982 --> 00:54:27,022 - You did too. - I did not. 734 00:54:27,102 --> 00:54:28,341 Did too. 735 00:54:28,424 --> 00:54:29,743 - I did not. - Did too. 736 00:54:29,822 --> 00:54:31,661 - Did not. - Did too. 737 00:54:31,743 --> 00:54:33,943 - Did not! Did not! - Did too! 738 00:54:34,025 --> 00:54:36,105 Shut up! I did not want them dead. 739 00:54:36,185 --> 00:54:39,505 - Come on, you did. You're just... - ♪ Mary had a little lamb... ♪ 740 00:54:39,586 --> 00:54:43,145 I did not! 741 00:54:44,386 --> 00:54:45,986 Young love! 742 00:54:46,067 --> 00:54:49,828 School's cancelled today because Kurt and Ram killed themselves 743 00:54:49,908 --> 00:54:51,907 in a repressed homosexual suicide pact! 744 00:54:51,988 --> 00:54:53,947 No way. 745 00:54:56,028 --> 00:54:57,788 God! 746 00:54:59,350 --> 00:55:02,749 The football season is over, Veronica. 747 00:55:02,831 --> 00:55:05,591 Kurt and Ram had nothing to offer the school 748 00:55:05,672 --> 00:55:07,712 but date rapes and AIDS jokes. 749 00:55:09,153 --> 00:55:11,233 Sure. 750 00:55:12,433 --> 00:55:15,432 Can we make an ice run before the funeral? 751 00:55:21,674 --> 00:55:24,714 If there's any way you can hear me, Kurt buddy... 752 00:55:27,276 --> 00:55:30,755 I don't care that you really were some... pansy. 753 00:55:32,397 --> 00:55:34,397 You're my own flesh and blood 754 00:55:34,478 --> 00:55:36,438 and you made me proud. 755 00:55:38,999 --> 00:55:41,919 My son's a homosexual and I love him. 756 00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:46,239 I love my dead, gay son. 757 00:55:47,521 --> 00:55:52,481 How do you think he'd react to a son that had a limp wrist with a pulse? 758 00:56:08,485 --> 00:56:13,925 'Dear diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count. 759 00:56:14,007 --> 00:56:17,167 'The most popular people in school are dead. 760 00:56:17,247 --> 00:56:21,848 'Everybody's sad but it's a weird kind of sad. 761 00:56:21,929 --> 00:56:27,090 'Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, Ram a brain. 762 00:56:28,210 --> 00:56:30,170 'I don't know what it's given me 763 00:56:30,251 --> 00:56:34,810 'but I've got no control over myself when I'm with JD. 764 00:56:34,893 --> 00:56:37,773 'Are we going to prom or to hell? ' 765 00:56:37,852 --> 00:56:42,772 Now, it seems we were in a similar position on Monday 766 00:56:42,854 --> 00:56:45,894 when I thoughtfully suggested we get everybody together 767 00:56:45,975 --> 00:56:49,015 for an unadulterated emotional outpouring, but no. 768 00:56:49,095 --> 00:56:53,055 You took this as an opportunity to play yet another round 769 00:56:53,136 --> 00:56:55,415 of "let's laugh at the hippy". 770 00:56:55,497 --> 00:56:58,896 - Pauline... - Shut up, Paul. 771 00:56:58,977 --> 00:57:01,177 I've seen a lot of bullshit... 772 00:57:01,259 --> 00:57:03,778 ángel dust, switchblades, 773 00:57:03,859 --> 00:57:07,858 sexually perverse photography exhibits involving tennis rackets... 774 00:57:07,939 --> 00:57:10,058 but this suicide thing... 775 00:57:11,340 --> 00:57:15,300 guess that's more on Pauline's wavelength. 776 00:57:15,381 --> 00:57:18,060 We're just going to write off today 777 00:57:18,141 --> 00:57:23,541 and on Friday she can hold her little love-in or whatever. 778 00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:26,742 Whatever. 779 00:57:32,345 --> 00:57:33,744 Attention! 780 00:57:35,185 --> 00:57:37,745 May I have your attention, please? 781 00:57:37,826 --> 00:57:41,867 This school has been torn apart by tragedy. 782 00:57:41,948 --> 00:57:45,667 I'm here today to fuse it back again through togetherness. 783 00:57:45,748 --> 00:57:49,108 I want everyone to clasp hands. 784 00:57:49,188 --> 00:57:52,907 We need to connect this cafeteria into one mighty circuit! 785 00:57:52,989 --> 00:57:55,909 - Excuse me. - Here comes the TV crew! 786 00:57:55,991 --> 00:57:57,750 Lock your paws! 787 00:57:57,831 --> 00:58:00,471 - We're ready when you are. - Hi, there. 788 00:58:01,511 --> 00:58:05,511 Come on. Let's go. Here. 789 00:58:05,593 --> 00:58:08,432 This will be on TV. Let's show them how you feel! 790 00:58:08,513 --> 00:58:11,913 Looks like Miss Phlegm's on another one of her crusades. 791 00:58:11,994 --> 00:58:14,074 With usual success, of course. 792 00:58:14,154 --> 00:58:15,913 Come on, get up! 793 00:58:15,995 --> 00:58:17,634 Hi, what's your name? 794 00:58:17,715 --> 00:58:19,514 I'm Heather Duke. 795 00:58:25,037 --> 00:58:28,436 Is this as good for you as it is for me? 796 00:58:28,519 --> 00:58:31,158 Those fish sticks can wait. Let's go. 797 00:58:31,239 --> 00:58:33,198 Come on, kids! 798 00:58:35,039 --> 00:58:37,318 The whole world is watching! 799 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,840 Show them that you care! 800 00:58:42,921 --> 00:58:45,560 Greetings and salutations. 801 00:58:45,642 --> 00:58:50,402 I'll need a VHS copy of this by Monday for my Princeton application. 802 00:58:51,803 --> 00:58:55,442 You can beat this, don't let suicide get you down. 803 00:58:56,725 --> 00:58:59,205 That thing this afternoon, 804 00:58:59,285 --> 00:59:02,045 I'm so angry, it was chaos, fucking chaos. 805 00:59:03,486 --> 00:59:05,366 What are you talking about? 806 00:59:05,446 --> 00:59:09,165 I mean, today was great. Chaos was great. 807 00:59:09,247 --> 00:59:12,566 Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling. 808 00:59:13,848 --> 00:59:15,968 Face it, our way is the way. 809 00:59:16,049 --> 00:59:18,489 We scare people into not being assholes. 810 00:59:18,569 --> 00:59:21,169 Our way is not our way. 811 00:59:21,250 --> 00:59:24,089 Oh, yeah? Tell that to the judge, all right? 812 00:59:24,170 --> 00:59:26,008 Tell it to Kurt Kelly. 813 00:59:26,091 --> 00:59:28,451 I'm telling it to you. 814 00:59:30,812 --> 00:59:32,892 God, you can be so immature. 815 00:59:32,973 --> 00:59:36,572 Oh! You kids are making too much damn noise. 816 00:59:38,214 --> 00:59:40,293 We beat the bitches. 817 00:59:40,374 --> 00:59:42,854 Beautiful. The beaver's home. 818 00:59:42,935 --> 00:59:45,895 Judge told them to slurp shit and die. 819 00:59:45,975 --> 00:59:49,494 I put a Norwegian in the boiler room. 820 00:59:49,577 --> 00:59:51,976 Masterful. 821 00:59:52,057 --> 00:59:54,896 And then when that blew, 822 00:59:54,977 --> 00:59:58,137 it set off a pack of thermals I stuck upstairs. 823 01:00:07,821 --> 01:00:10,141 Some days it's great to be alive. 824 01:00:12,581 --> 01:00:14,981 Stick it to those goddamn... 825 01:00:15,063 --> 01:00:17,023 Do you like your father? 826 01:00:18,463 --> 01:00:20,903 Never given the matter much thought. 827 01:00:23,783 --> 01:00:25,743 Liked my mother. 828 01:00:26,545 --> 01:00:29,625 They said her death was an accident 829 01:00:29,706 --> 01:00:32,545 but she knew what she was doing. 830 01:00:32,626 --> 01:00:37,506 She walked into the building two minutes before my dad blew the place up. 831 01:00:37,588 --> 01:00:40,748 She waved at me and then... 832 01:00:40,828 --> 01:00:42,788 boom. 833 01:00:42,869 --> 01:00:46,670 'Dudes, if I get one more request for that Big Fun song, 834 01:00:46,750 --> 01:00:48,469 'I'm gonna commit suicide.' 835 01:00:48,550 --> 01:00:50,309 Playing our song. 836 01:00:50,390 --> 01:00:53,030 'Here it is, Teenage Suicide Don't Do It.' 837 01:00:54,511 --> 01:00:57,790 ♪ Teenage suicide ♪ Don't do it 838 01:00:57,872 --> 01:01:00,352 ♪ Teenage suicide ♪ She blew it 839 01:01:00,432 --> 01:01:02,512 ♪ Teenage suicide 840 01:01:02,592 --> 01:01:03,871 ♪ Don't do it... ♪ 841 01:01:06,433 --> 01:01:08,474 That's it. We're breaking up. 842 01:01:08,554 --> 01:01:11,874 What? You can't bring them back, you must know that. 843 01:01:11,955 --> 01:01:15,996 I'm not trying to bring anybody back except maybe myself. 844 01:01:26,638 --> 01:01:28,477 No! 845 01:01:29,959 --> 01:01:32,759 To think once I actually thought you were cool. 846 01:01:32,839 --> 01:01:37,279 If you can't deal with me now then just stay home and shoot your TV, 847 01:01:37,361 --> 01:01:39,961 blow up a couple toasters or something. 848 01:01:40,042 --> 01:01:44,122 Just don't come to school and don't mess with me. 849 01:01:46,723 --> 01:01:48,722 You'll be back. 850 01:02:00,286 --> 01:02:02,606 Me and Martha Dumptruck? 851 01:02:02,687 --> 01:02:04,486 Where did you get this? 852 01:02:05,648 --> 01:02:10,008 Oh, I just had the nicest little chat with Ms Dumptruck. 853 01:02:10,088 --> 01:02:12,129 Got along famously. 854 01:02:12,209 --> 01:02:15,569 It's scary how everybody's got a little story to tell. 855 01:02:15,649 --> 01:02:18,089 Want to see the canoeing shots? 856 01:02:18,171 --> 01:02:20,009 What is this? Blackmail? 857 01:02:24,091 --> 01:02:26,252 I'll give you a week's lunch money. 858 01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:32,131 I don't want your money. I want your strength. 859 01:02:32,213 --> 01:02:35,253 Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness, 860 01:02:35,334 --> 01:02:37,534 it needs a strong leader. 861 01:02:37,615 --> 01:02:40,655 Heather Chandler was that leader but... 862 01:02:40,735 --> 01:02:43,135 But she couldn't handle it. 863 01:02:43,216 --> 01:02:45,215 I think you can. 864 01:02:46,297 --> 01:02:48,256 Moby Dick is dunked. 865 01:02:48,338 --> 01:02:53,018 The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table 866 01:02:53,099 --> 01:02:55,739 and now it's your turn to take the helm. 867 01:02:55,819 --> 01:02:57,939 What about the photographs? 868 01:02:58,019 --> 01:03:01,459 Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor 869 01:03:01,540 --> 01:03:03,620 and it'll be one you'll enjoy. 870 01:03:03,701 --> 01:03:06,301 You'll get the negatives back then. 871 01:03:08,662 --> 01:03:12,141 But in the meantime, strength. 872 01:03:13,903 --> 01:03:15,983 Here's a little gift... 873 01:03:17,063 --> 01:03:19,224 from Heather to Heather. 874 01:03:58,994 --> 01:04:00,593 - Guess who. - Heather? 875 01:04:18,718 --> 01:04:20,037 'Hello? ' 876 01:04:20,118 --> 01:04:21,757 Hello, Betty? This is Veronica. 877 01:04:25,439 --> 01:04:27,998 I don't believe it, I'm winning! 878 01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,080 Don't you start getting cocky on me, girl. 879 01:04:33,842 --> 01:04:36,081 I really missed you. 880 01:04:36,162 --> 01:04:39,202 I know I'm not as exciting as your other friends. 881 01:04:39,283 --> 01:04:41,243 That is bullshit. 882 01:04:41,323 --> 01:04:43,283 Shoot. 883 01:04:43,364 --> 01:04:45,644 Do you know I'm still a virgin? 884 01:04:45,724 --> 01:04:48,804 OK, I French-kissed Al Springer once. 885 01:04:48,885 --> 01:04:50,845 It was a total disaster. 886 01:04:50,925 --> 01:04:53,845 Shoot the ball. 887 01:04:56,367 --> 01:05:01,247 Betty, your daydreams are a lot better than my realities, believe me. 888 01:05:03,808 --> 01:05:06,888 But now, prepare to die. 889 01:05:06,968 --> 01:05:08,727 Ronnie. 890 01:05:23,853 --> 01:05:26,613 You're not just going for those two shots. 891 01:05:26,693 --> 01:05:30,333 I mean, go ahead, knock me out. It's the only way to win. 892 01:05:32,015 --> 01:05:34,294 It's not my style. 893 01:05:34,375 --> 01:05:38,136 Nice guys finish last, I should know. 894 01:05:46,778 --> 01:05:48,137 Bravo. 895 01:05:49,218 --> 01:05:50,937 Bravo. 896 01:05:52,020 --> 01:05:54,579 Listen, I got to get home, OK? 897 01:05:54,660 --> 01:05:56,779 OK. 898 01:05:56,861 --> 01:05:58,659 Thanks. 899 01:05:58,741 --> 01:06:00,621 Bye, Betty. 900 01:06:00,701 --> 01:06:02,140 Bye. 901 01:06:02,221 --> 01:06:05,141 Betty, leaving so soon? 902 01:06:05,223 --> 01:06:06,781 I'm red. 903 01:06:34,109 --> 01:06:38,189 'The Westerburg suicides were tough on all of us, 904 01:06:38,270 --> 01:06:42,989 'but we shared the pain of losing three very popular students. 905 01:06:43,071 --> 01:06:46,710 'I came into the cafeteria, asked them to hold hands... ' 906 01:06:46,792 --> 01:06:49,631 Isn't that that flake we met at the open house? 907 01:06:49,713 --> 01:06:52,033 ' Burst of cleansing synchronicity, 908 01:06:52,113 --> 01:06:55,512 'TV cameras happened onto our path and captured... ' 909 01:06:55,594 --> 01:06:58,154 Cleansing synchronicity? 910 01:06:58,234 --> 01:07:02,035 Outpouring of emotion? 911 01:07:02,115 --> 01:07:04,435 Ha! Look! There's Heather. 912 01:07:05,676 --> 01:07:08,355 There's Heather. Where are you, Veronica? 913 01:07:08,437 --> 01:07:14,157 'Before a teenager decides to kill himself, there are certain facts that he should know. 914 01:07:14,239 --> 01:07:20,039 'After all, this decision affects all of us and there's only one chance to get it right.' 915 01:07:32,883 --> 01:07:34,842 'Getting some supervi... ' 916 01:07:34,923 --> 01:07:36,761 Turn that back on. 917 01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:39,164 These programs are eating suicide up. 918 01:07:39,243 --> 01:07:42,083 They're making it sound like a cool thing to do. 919 01:07:42,165 --> 01:07:47,125 Are you trying to tell me it's not a time for troubled youth? Stand up straight. 920 01:07:47,205 --> 01:07:50,405 All we want is to be treated like human beings, 921 01:07:50,486 --> 01:07:53,006 not patronized like bunny rabbits. 922 01:07:53,087 --> 01:07:55,248 I don't patronize bunny rabbits. 923 01:07:55,328 --> 01:07:57,327 Treated like human beings? 924 01:07:57,408 --> 01:08:01,168 Is that what you said, little Miss Voice-of-a-generation? 925 01:08:01,249 --> 01:08:04,488 How do you think adults act with other adults? 926 01:08:04,570 --> 01:08:07,249 You think it's all just a game of doubles tennis? 927 01:08:07,330 --> 01:08:10,770 When teenagers complain they want to be treated like human beings, 928 01:08:10,851 --> 01:08:13,651 it's because they are being treated like human beings. 929 01:08:13,732 --> 01:08:18,212 Well, I guess I picked the wrong time to be a human being. 930 01:08:18,293 --> 01:08:20,292 Well, you'll live. 931 01:08:26,415 --> 01:08:28,375 Want some pâté? 932 01:08:30,456 --> 01:08:32,896 Hi, everybody. Door was open. 933 01:08:32,976 --> 01:08:35,335 Veronica, have you heard? 934 01:08:35,416 --> 01:08:37,776 We were doing Chinese at the food fair 935 01:08:37,858 --> 01:08:41,178 when we heard Martha Dumptruck tried to buy the farm. 936 01:08:41,257 --> 01:08:45,097 She belly-flopped in front of a car wearing a suicide note. 937 01:08:46,099 --> 01:08:47,858 Is she dead? 938 01:08:47,940 --> 01:08:51,619 No. That's the punch line. She's in stable condition. 939 01:08:51,700 --> 01:08:56,740 Just another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably. 940 01:08:56,822 --> 01:08:58,782 Is that pâté? 941 01:09:02,823 --> 01:09:06,303 - I said I was sorry. - You were out of control. 942 01:09:06,384 --> 01:09:09,464 Heather and Kurt were a shock but Martha Dumptruck? 943 01:09:09,545 --> 01:09:12,664 Get crucial. She dialed suicide hotlines in her diapers. 944 01:09:12,745 --> 01:09:14,864 You're not funny. 945 01:09:15,906 --> 01:09:20,106 Look, Martha couldn't take the heat so she got out of the kitchen. 946 01:09:20,187 --> 01:09:24,906 Just think what a better place this world would be if every nimrod followed her cue. 947 01:09:24,989 --> 01:09:27,869 Just shut up. Hot Probs is on. 948 01:09:27,949 --> 01:09:29,428 Oh, shit. Yeah. 949 01:09:29,509 --> 01:09:34,029 'Skipper's OK but sometimes I feel like I'm on that island 950 01:09:34,110 --> 01:09:37,270 'and Gilligan can be so stupid sometimes... ' 951 01:09:37,351 --> 01:09:41,031 If it wasn't for the courage of the fearless crew, 952 01:09:41,112 --> 01:09:44,272 the Minnow would be lost, and you are too. 953 01:09:44,352 --> 01:09:45,952 Next call. 954 01:09:46,032 --> 01:09:49,953 'Hey, you've got the dog-catcher.' 955 01:09:50,033 --> 01:09:54,393 'My name is Heather. No... it's not Heather.' 956 01:09:55,675 --> 01:09:57,715 No, it... 957 01:09:59,236 --> 01:10:02,836 It's Madonna. Jeez. No, not that. 958 01:10:02,916 --> 01:10:06,315 Hey, babe, I need a name. 959 01:10:12,039 --> 01:10:13,959 My name is Tweety. 960 01:10:14,039 --> 01:10:15,999 'Tweety? 961 01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:18,959 'Ooh, tweet! ' 962 01:10:19,041 --> 01:10:20,800 God has cursed me, I think. 963 01:10:22,561 --> 01:10:26,401 The last guy I had sex with killed himself the next day. 964 01:10:29,242 --> 01:10:31,202 I'm failing math. 965 01:10:31,283 --> 01:10:33,002 My whole life is a mess. 966 01:10:33,083 --> 01:10:35,963 I'm supposed to be captain of the cheerleading... 967 01:10:36,045 --> 01:10:39,284 She knows we listen to this show. 968 01:10:39,365 --> 01:10:42,685 Holy shit! We'll crucify her. 969 01:10:42,767 --> 01:10:46,166 ' My parents are divorced and stuff... ' 970 01:10:48,368 --> 01:10:51,688 'Heather told everyone about Heather. 971 01:10:53,048 --> 01:10:56,687 'Yes, dear diary, I've cut off Heather Chandler's head 972 01:10:56,769 --> 01:11:00,128 'and Heather Duke's head has sprouted in its place 973 01:11:00,209 --> 01:11:02,209 'like some mythological thing 974 01:11:02,290 --> 01:11:05,690 'my eighth-grade boyfriend would have known about. 975 01:11:06,852 --> 01:11:09,652 'Heather's even doing the old note trick. 976 01:11:11,772 --> 01:11:14,491 'I've seen JD's way. 977 01:11:14,574 --> 01:11:18,253 'I've seen Miss Pauline Fleming's way 978 01:11:18,334 --> 01:11:20,294 'and nothing has changed. 979 01:11:20,374 --> 01:11:22,614 'I guess that's Heather's way. 980 01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:25,414 'And, Jesus, what about JD? 981 01:11:25,496 --> 01:11:27,896 'I can't get him out of my head. 982 01:11:27,976 --> 01:11:30,416 'Wait. Where's Heather going? ' 983 01:11:30,497 --> 01:11:32,657 Where's Heather going? 984 01:11:32,737 --> 01:11:34,898 She's going to cry. 985 01:11:39,059 --> 01:11:41,659 Fucking child protector caps. 986 01:11:44,940 --> 01:11:46,940 Now where is she going? 987 01:11:51,742 --> 01:11:53,300 Heather. 988 01:11:54,662 --> 01:11:58,702 - What are you trying to do? Kill me? - What are you trying to do? Sleep? 989 01:12:00,623 --> 01:12:03,063 Suicide is a private thing. 990 01:12:03,145 --> 01:12:05,664 Heather, you're throwing your life away 991 01:12:05,745 --> 01:12:08,665 to become a statistic in the US fucking A Today. 992 01:12:08,746 --> 01:12:11,666 That's the least private thing I can think of. 993 01:12:11,746 --> 01:12:14,705 What about Heather and Kurt and Ram? 994 01:12:18,268 --> 01:12:21,107 If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you? 995 01:12:24,349 --> 01:12:26,148 Probably. 996 01:12:27,630 --> 01:12:30,990 Hey now, if you were happy every day of your life, 997 01:12:31,071 --> 01:12:34,671 you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host. 998 01:12:34,751 --> 01:12:39,632 What do you say we knock off early, buy some shoes, something lame like that? 999 01:12:40,593 --> 01:12:42,312 OK. 1000 01:12:48,315 --> 01:12:50,074 So it's come to this. 1001 01:12:50,155 --> 01:12:51,954 Heather Chandler did polls, 1002 01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:56,555 I want you to do a petition, as a favor, as the favor. 1003 01:12:56,637 --> 01:12:59,596 You've heard of the group Big Fun, right? 1004 01:12:59,677 --> 01:13:02,876 That's right. Teenage Suicide Don't Do It. 1005 01:13:02,958 --> 01:13:07,878 Right. Some teenybopper rag says that they want to play a prom. 1006 01:13:07,959 --> 01:13:11,880 It could be Westerburg's if we get everybody's John Hancock. 1007 01:13:11,960 --> 01:13:13,719 I'll get right on it, coach. 1008 01:13:13,801 --> 01:13:17,040 Little gift for you. I won't be needing it. 1009 01:13:50,368 --> 01:13:51,968 Heather? 1010 01:13:52,049 --> 01:13:53,248 Veronica. 1011 01:13:53,330 --> 01:13:55,930 Color me stoked, girl. 1012 01:13:56,010 --> 01:13:58,050 Everyone's signed this petition, 1013 01:13:58,131 --> 01:14:01,450 even the ones who think Big Fun are tuneless Eurofags. 1014 01:14:01,531 --> 01:14:03,250 People love me. 1015 01:14:03,332 --> 01:14:05,252 You haven't signed yet. 1016 01:14:05,332 --> 01:14:08,372 People love you but I know you. 1017 01:14:08,452 --> 01:14:11,292 Jennifer Forbes told me the petition she signed 1018 01:14:11,374 --> 01:14:14,933 was to put a hot tub in the cafeteria and Doug Hilton said... 1019 01:14:15,015 --> 01:14:18,014 Some people need different kinds of convincing. 1020 01:14:18,095 --> 01:14:20,374 Just sign the petition, OK? 1021 01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:22,376 Don't talk to me like that, OK? 1022 01:14:22,456 --> 01:14:24,776 Look, it was JD's idea. 1023 01:14:24,857 --> 01:14:29,537 He made out the signature sheet and everything so why not just sign it? 1024 01:14:29,617 --> 01:14:30,896 No. 1025 01:14:33,138 --> 01:14:34,697 Jealous much? 1026 01:14:38,499 --> 01:14:42,980 Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why are you such a megabitch? 1027 01:14:44,181 --> 01:14:46,101 Because I can be. 1028 01:14:47,462 --> 01:14:49,741 Veronica, why are you pulling my dick? 1029 01:14:49,822 --> 01:14:53,782 Do you think if Betty Finn's fairy godmother made her cool, 1030 01:14:53,862 --> 01:14:57,102 she'd still hang out with her dweebette friends? 1031 01:14:57,184 --> 01:14:59,424 No way, Veronica. 1032 01:15:11,347 --> 01:15:13,667 Want to go out tonight? 1033 01:15:13,747 --> 01:15:16,627 Catch a movie, some miniature golf? 1034 01:15:16,709 --> 01:15:21,829 I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, 1035 01:15:21,910 --> 01:15:24,070 making it look like a suicide. 1036 01:15:24,151 --> 01:15:26,870 Now you're talking. I could be up for that. 1037 01:15:26,950 --> 01:15:30,430 I've already started underlining meaningful passages 1038 01:15:30,511 --> 01:15:33,711 in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean. 1039 01:15:35,233 --> 01:15:37,273 I knew you'd be back, Veronica. 1040 01:15:38,434 --> 01:15:41,393 I knew it. I was positive sure. 1041 01:15:45,835 --> 01:15:47,794 It's over, JD, over. 1042 01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:49,433 Grow up! 1043 01:15:49,516 --> 01:15:51,354 You don't get it. 1044 01:15:51,436 --> 01:15:53,516 You were wrong. I was right. 1045 01:15:56,037 --> 01:15:58,077 Strength, damn it! 1046 01:15:59,359 --> 01:16:01,319 Come on, come back! 1047 01:16:10,402 --> 01:16:12,240 Yes? 1048 01:16:12,322 --> 01:16:16,762 Your friend Jason Dean stopped by. He seemed very concerned about you. 1049 01:16:16,843 --> 01:16:20,442 He said he thought you might try to kill yourself. 1050 01:16:20,523 --> 01:16:22,482 You have been depressed lately. 1051 01:16:22,564 --> 01:16:24,524 Oh, he left this for you. 1052 01:16:31,646 --> 01:16:33,605 Oh, my God. 1053 01:16:34,607 --> 01:16:38,607 He said that we should keep you away from sharp objects, 1054 01:16:38,687 --> 01:16:41,847 closed garage doors, chemical substances. 1055 01:16:41,928 --> 01:16:44,808 - Prescription drugs. - Prescription drugs. 1056 01:17:23,058 --> 01:17:27,698 "To neither love nor reverence wilt thou be kind," 1057 01:17:27,779 --> 01:17:32,219 "and even for hate thou canst but kill," 1058 01:17:32,300 --> 01:17:34,460 "and all are killed." 1059 01:17:36,501 --> 01:17:37,980 I like it. 1060 01:17:38,062 --> 01:17:40,461 It's got that what-a-cruel-world 1061 01:17:40,541 --> 01:17:44,981 so let's-toss-ourselves-in-the-abyss type of ambiance? 1062 01:17:46,783 --> 01:17:49,782 Come on. It's Heather's copy of Moby Dick. 1063 01:17:52,063 --> 01:17:55,023 Why don't you give it a try? Underline something. 1064 01:17:57,025 --> 01:17:59,625 Get off of my bed, you fucking psycho! 1065 01:17:59,706 --> 01:18:03,587 You think you're a rebel? Do you actually think you're a rebel? 1066 01:18:03,666 --> 01:18:06,586 You're not a rebel. You're fucking psychotic. 1067 01:18:08,308 --> 01:18:10,828 You say "tom-ay-to", I say "tom-ah-to". 1068 01:18:10,908 --> 01:18:12,828 Hold it. 1069 01:18:12,909 --> 01:18:16,148 Eskimo. Look at that. 1070 01:18:17,230 --> 01:18:19,830 That's one word. I love it! 1071 01:18:19,911 --> 01:18:24,310 I usually go for the whole sentence myself but this is perfecto. 1072 01:18:24,391 --> 01:18:28,070 Eskimo, you know, it's so mysterious. 1073 01:18:29,272 --> 01:18:32,792 Eskimo. 1074 01:18:37,434 --> 01:18:39,393 Come on. 1075 01:18:41,075 --> 01:18:43,275 JD, you are not listening to me. 1076 01:18:44,316 --> 01:18:46,796 Nag. Nag. Nag. Nag. Nag! 1077 01:18:48,596 --> 01:18:50,876 Th-th-that knife is filthy. 1078 01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:54,478 Do you think I'm going to take out her tonsils with it? 1079 01:18:54,559 --> 01:18:57,879 Excuse me, I think I know Heather a little better than you do. 1080 01:18:57,959 --> 01:19:02,160 If she was going to slit her wrists, the knife would be spotless. 1081 01:19:02,960 --> 01:19:06,199 How's this? Can you see your fucking reflection in the thing? 1082 01:19:09,002 --> 01:19:12,201 Tomorrow someone else will move into her place. 1083 01:19:13,643 --> 01:19:15,402 That person could be me. 1084 01:19:20,084 --> 01:19:23,564 Ha! There's only one of us knows Heather's handwriting. 1085 01:19:23,645 --> 01:19:27,125 If you think I'll write another suicide note, you're wrong. 1086 01:19:27,206 --> 01:19:29,846 You don't get it! Society nods its head 1087 01:19:29,927 --> 01:19:34,447 at any horror the American teenager can think to bring upon itself. 1088 01:19:34,528 --> 01:19:38,968 Nobody's going to care about exact handwriting. Help me. Quick. 1089 01:19:48,811 --> 01:19:51,050 Life sucks. 1090 01:19:54,172 --> 01:19:56,132 It's perfecto. 1091 01:19:57,252 --> 01:20:00,931 Jesus, I've got a meaningfully marked-up Moby Dick. 1092 01:20:01,014 --> 01:20:03,373 What else does a suicide need? 1093 01:20:03,455 --> 01:20:05,415 Now, if you'll excuse me. 1094 01:20:10,656 --> 01:20:12,415 No! 1095 01:20:18,578 --> 01:20:20,537 Open the door! 1096 01:20:28,220 --> 01:20:30,180 Eskimo. 1097 01:20:34,461 --> 01:20:39,061 Heather Duke underlined a lot of things in this copy of Moby Dick 1098 01:20:39,143 --> 01:20:43,023 but I believe the word Eskimo, 1099 01:20:43,103 --> 01:20:45,463 underlined all by itself, 1100 01:20:45,544 --> 01:20:49,344 is the key to understanding Heather's pain. 1101 01:20:49,425 --> 01:20:53,425 On the surface, Heather Duke was the vivacious young lady 1102 01:20:53,506 --> 01:20:55,785 we all knew her to be... 1103 01:20:55,867 --> 01:20:59,506 but her soul was in Antarctica, 1104 01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:05,629 freezing with the knowledge of the way fellow teenagers can be cruel... 1105 01:21:06,629 --> 01:21:11,469 the way that parents can be unresponsive... 1106 01:21:11,549 --> 01:21:15,829 and as she writes so eloquently in her suicide note, 1107 01:21:15,911 --> 01:21:18,870 the way that life can suck. 1108 01:21:20,832 --> 01:21:24,071 We'll all miss Sherwood's little Eskimo. 1109 01:21:26,313 --> 01:21:30,793 Let's just hope she's rubbing noses with Jesus. 1110 01:21:30,875 --> 01:21:33,035 Is this turnout weak or what? 1111 01:21:34,395 --> 01:21:37,435 I had at least 70 more people at my funeral. 1112 01:21:39,036 --> 01:21:40,275 Heather? 1113 01:21:44,318 --> 01:21:46,277 Oh, God, Veronica, 1114 01:21:46,358 --> 01:21:49,678 my afterlife is so boring. 1115 01:21:49,759 --> 01:21:52,559 If I have to sing Kumbaya one more time... 1116 01:21:52,639 --> 01:21:54,278 What are you doing here? 1117 01:21:54,359 --> 01:21:56,959 I made your favorite... 1118 01:21:57,041 --> 01:21:59,201 spaghetti. 1119 01:21:59,281 --> 01:22:01,240 Lots of oregano. 1120 01:22:03,721 --> 01:22:05,560 Dinner! 1121 01:22:07,483 --> 01:22:09,442 Veronica! Dinner! 1122 01:22:33,648 --> 01:22:36,688 'Dear diary, last entry. 1123 01:22:36,769 --> 01:22:38,528 'No one can stop JD... 1124 01:22:38,610 --> 01:22:42,491 'not the FBI, the CIA or the PTA. 1125 01:22:42,570 --> 01:22:46,970 'He once told me that the extreme always makes an impression. 1126 01:22:47,051 --> 01:22:48,811 'Well, now it's my turn. 1127 01:22:48,892 --> 01:22:53,692 'Let's see how the son of a bitch reacts to a suicide he didn't perform himself.' 1128 01:23:30,182 --> 01:23:31,981 I can't believe you did it. 1129 01:23:32,062 --> 01:23:34,022 I was teasing. 1130 01:23:35,422 --> 01:23:36,861 I loved you. 1131 01:23:38,103 --> 01:23:40,903 Sure, I was coming up here to kill you. 1132 01:23:43,385 --> 01:23:47,785 First I was going to try and get you back with my amazing petition. 1133 01:23:51,546 --> 01:23:55,986 It's a shame you can't see what our fellow students really signed. 1134 01:23:59,748 --> 01:24:01,708 All right, listen. 1135 01:24:04,950 --> 01:24:10,551 "We students of Westerburg High will die. Today." 1136 01:24:10,630 --> 01:24:14,189 "Our burning bodies will be the ultimate protest" 1137 01:24:14,272 --> 01:24:17,191 "to a society that degrades us." 1138 01:24:18,272 --> 01:24:20,232 "Fuck you all." 1139 01:24:21,753 --> 01:24:27,313 It's not very subtle, but neither's blowing up a whole school, now, is it? 1140 01:24:29,035 --> 01:24:31,475 Talk about your suicide pacts? 1141 01:24:33,916 --> 01:24:36,796 When our school blows up tomorrow, 1142 01:24:36,876 --> 01:24:40,956 it's going to be the kind of thing to infect a generation! 1143 01:24:41,038 --> 01:24:44,597 I mean, it's going to be a Woodstock for the '80s. 1144 01:24:52,961 --> 01:24:54,920 Damn it, Veronica. 1145 01:24:56,561 --> 01:24:59,481 We could have toasted some marshmallows together. 1146 01:25:03,124 --> 01:25:05,963 What does she want? A written invitation? 1147 01:25:06,043 --> 01:25:08,043 Veronica! Dinner! 1148 01:25:08,124 --> 01:25:09,883 Sheesh. 1149 01:25:14,766 --> 01:25:16,725 Veronica, I... 1150 01:25:19,566 --> 01:25:24,486 Oh, I... I... I should have let you take that job at the mall. 1151 01:25:24,567 --> 01:25:29,247 It was just that I was afraid of you coming home late at night and I... 1152 01:25:37,811 --> 01:25:40,691 Hey, Mom, why so tense? 1153 01:25:46,373 --> 01:25:49,573 Hey, Prob, I need some help with my homework. 1154 01:25:49,654 --> 01:25:52,694 Not right now, tiger. I'm a little busy. 1155 01:26:20,540 --> 01:26:24,701 Veronica, JD told me you committed suicide last night. 1156 01:26:24,781 --> 01:26:28,460 - Where is he? Where's JD? - We have to talk. 1157 01:26:28,542 --> 01:26:33,462 Whether to kill yourself or not is the most important decision a teenager can make. 1158 01:26:33,543 --> 01:26:34,942 Get a job. 1159 01:29:07,859 --> 01:29:10,179 Rodney, where's everybody going? 1160 01:29:11,380 --> 01:29:15,180 - It's Friday. - Shit, another damn pep assembly. 1161 01:29:15,261 --> 01:29:19,581 Yeah. You know, these things, they get pretty artificial 1162 01:29:19,662 --> 01:29:22,461 but you know, at least you get out of class. 1163 01:29:23,542 --> 01:29:26,302 Rodney, what's underneath the gym? 1164 01:29:30,024 --> 01:29:31,984 The boiler room. 1165 01:29:38,146 --> 01:29:40,666 May I see your hall pass? 1166 01:29:44,868 --> 01:29:47,827 I knew that loose was too noose. 1167 01:29:49,068 --> 01:29:51,948 I mean noose too loose. 1168 01:29:53,269 --> 01:29:55,228 Goddamn you, woman. 1169 01:29:56,190 --> 01:29:58,150 Like father, like son. 1170 01:29:58,231 --> 01:30:02,671 A serious-as-fuck bomb in the boiler room to set off a pack of thermals upstairs. 1171 01:30:05,073 --> 01:30:10,032 Ok, let's start by putting the bomb down on the ground. 1172 01:30:13,954 --> 01:30:15,633 I knew that. 1173 01:30:16,074 --> 01:30:17,873 I knew that. 1174 01:30:17,955 --> 01:30:21,074 OK, put your hands on your head. 1175 01:30:22,196 --> 01:30:24,315 You didn't say "Simon says". 1176 01:30:47,161 --> 01:30:48,920 Let's go! 1177 01:30:49,001 --> 01:30:51,322 Let's go, Rottweilers, let's go! 1178 01:30:51,843 --> 01:30:55,082 Let's go, Rottweilers, let's go! 1179 01:31:18,808 --> 01:31:20,087 W- E-S! 1180 01:31:20,169 --> 01:31:22,409 - T-E-R! - T-E-R! 1181 01:31:22,489 --> 01:31:25,049 - B-U-R! - B-U-R! 1182 01:31:25,130 --> 01:31:26,649 - G! - G! 1183 01:31:26,730 --> 01:31:29,130 - What does it spell? - Westerburg! 1184 01:31:29,211 --> 01:31:32,171 - Again! - Westerburg! 1185 01:31:32,251 --> 01:31:34,251 Westerburg! 1186 01:32:05,579 --> 01:32:07,939 Lean to the left, lean to the right! 1187 01:32:08,020 --> 01:32:11,340 Stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight! 1188 01:32:23,423 --> 01:32:24,902 Stop! 1189 01:32:51,750 --> 01:32:54,269 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1190 01:33:25,918 --> 01:33:29,637 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1191 01:33:35,039 --> 01:33:37,999 You think because you started this you can end it? 1192 01:33:38,081 --> 01:33:41,080 I'll kill, I'll fucking kill you, I swear to God. 1193 01:33:44,442 --> 01:33:47,202 How do I turn off the bomb, asshole? 1194 01:33:47,283 --> 01:33:49,163 Fuck you! 1195 01:33:57,726 --> 01:33:59,646 Shit! 1196 01:34:00,886 --> 01:34:03,605 It's all over, JD. Help me stop it. 1197 01:34:13,649 --> 01:34:16,328 You want to clean the slate as much as I do. 1198 01:34:17,289 --> 01:34:21,569 All right, so maybe I am killing everyone in the school... 1199 01:34:21,650 --> 01:34:23,610 because nobody loves me. 1200 01:34:24,891 --> 01:34:28,891 Let's face it, all right? The only place different social types 1201 01:34:28,972 --> 01:34:32,251 can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven. 1202 01:34:36,934 --> 01:34:39,454 Which button do I press to turn it off? 1203 01:34:39,535 --> 01:34:41,975 Try the red one, all right? 1204 01:34:43,815 --> 01:34:47,696 People are going to look at the ashes of Westerburg and say, 1205 01:34:47,776 --> 01:34:50,696 "Now, there is a school that self-destructed," 1206 01:34:50,777 --> 01:34:55,497 "not because society didn't care but because the school was society!" 1207 01:34:57,580 --> 01:34:59,339 It's pretty deep? 1208 01:34:59,419 --> 01:35:01,419 Which red button? 1209 01:35:03,940 --> 01:35:06,860 Press the middle one to turn it off... 1210 01:35:06,941 --> 01:35:08,901 if that's what you really want. 1211 01:35:08,981 --> 01:35:11,501 You know what I want, babe? 1212 01:35:12,663 --> 01:35:13,902 What? 1213 01:35:22,904 --> 01:35:25,424 Cool guys like you out of my life. 1214 01:36:13,356 --> 01:36:15,316 Color me impressed. 1215 01:36:18,197 --> 01:36:22,797 You... you really fucked me up pretty bad, Veronica. 1216 01:36:27,120 --> 01:36:29,080 You... 1217 01:36:30,640 --> 01:36:32,600 you got power. 1218 01:36:34,040 --> 01:36:36,000 Power I didn't think you had. 1219 01:36:40,842 --> 01:36:42,521 The slate is clean. 1220 01:37:06,008 --> 01:37:08,608 Pretend I did blow up the school... 1221 01:37:09,769 --> 01:37:11,729 all the schools. 1222 01:37:13,049 --> 01:37:15,089 Now that you're dead, 1223 01:37:15,170 --> 01:37:17,569 what are you going to do with your life? 1224 01:38:45,470 --> 01:38:48,310 Veronica... you look like hell. 1225 01:38:48,392 --> 01:38:50,752 Yeah? I just got back. 1226 01:38:52,593 --> 01:38:54,633 Veronica, what are you doing? 1227 01:38:54,713 --> 01:38:56,432 Heather, my love, 1228 01:38:56,514 --> 01:38:58,674 there's a new sheriff in town. 1229 01:39:03,836 --> 01:39:05,955 Hey, Martha! 1230 01:39:06,036 --> 01:39:09,475 My date for the prom kind of flaked out on me. 1231 01:39:09,557 --> 01:39:12,236 If you aren't doing anything that night, 1232 01:39:12,317 --> 01:39:15,956 maybe we can rent some new releases, pop some popcorn. 1233 01:39:18,239 --> 01:39:19,917 I'd like that. 1234 01:39:20,000 --> 01:39:22,760 Yeah. So would I. 1235 01:39:47,325 --> 01:39:53,005 ♪ When I was just a little girl 1236 01:39:53,086 --> 01:39:59,326 ♪ I asked my mother, what will I be? 1237 01:40:00,408 --> 01:40:03,088 ♪ Will I be pretty? 1238 01:40:03,169 --> 01:40:06,129 ♪ Will I be rich? 1239 01:40:06,209 --> 01:40:10,329 ♪ Here's what she said to me 1240 01:40:10,410 --> 01:40:16,012 ♪ Que será, será 1241 01:40:20,093 --> 01:40:26,134 ♪ Whatever will be 1242 01:40:26,214 --> 01:40:28,454 ♪ Will be 1243 01:40:29,255 --> 01:40:32,575 ♪ Will be 1244 01:40:33,656 --> 01:40:40,297 ♪ The future's not ours to see 1245 01:40:41,177 --> 01:40:45,817 ♪ Well, well, well, well, ohh 1246 01:40:45,899 --> 01:40:51,859 ♪ Que será, que será 1247 01:40:51,940 --> 01:40:54,179 ♪ Que será 1248 01:40:57,022 --> 01:41:02,742 ♪ When I grew up and fell in love 1249 01:41:02,822 --> 01:41:08,783 ♪ I asked my lover, what will I be? 1250 01:41:10,185 --> 01:41:15,704 ♪ Will I be rich day after day? 1251 01:41:15,786 --> 01:41:20,026 ♪ Here's how my lover said 1252 01:41:20,106 --> 01:41:26,267 ♪ Que será, será 1253 01:41:27,349 --> 01:41:29,949 ♪ Yeah 1254 01:41:30,028 --> 01:41:35,989 ♪ Whatever will be 1255 01:41:36,070 --> 01:41:37,909 ♪ Will be 1256 01:41:38,790 --> 01:41:41,430 ♪ Will be 1257 01:41:44,872 --> 01:41:49,312 ♪ Que será, será 1258 01:41:53,194 --> 01:41:56,154 ♪ Whatever will be ♪ Whatever 1259 01:41:56,234 --> 01:41:58,314 ♪ Will be 1260 01:41:59,316 --> 01:42:01,356 ♪ Will be 1261 01:42:02,197 --> 01:42:04,996 ♪ Will be 1262 01:42:07,556 --> 01:42:10,636 ♪ The future's not ours to see 1263 01:42:18,960 --> 01:42:23,281 ♪ Que será ♪ Que será 1264 01:42:23,361 --> 01:42:25,000 ♪ Will be 1265 01:42:25,082 --> 01:42:27,041 ♪ Que será 1266 01:42:30,002 --> 01:42:32,242 ♪ Y'all get down ♪ 1266 01:42:33,305 --> 01:42:39,260 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org