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Once upon a time in New York,
there was a cop named Charlie.

3
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He was a very decent guy,
as was his partner, Bo.

4
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He was a good listener.

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He loved kids.

6
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He had patience
and common sense.

7
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He was resourceful.

8
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Come on, let's go. Watch your step.
Come on, keep it moving.

9
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,650
Okay, people, let's go. Let's go.
Come on, let me get through.

10
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Let me get through now. Make way,
come on. Step lively now, come on.

11
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He was just a good cop.

12
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Charlie lived happily in Queens, where
he was born and had lived all of his life.

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-Yo, Charlie.
-Jesu. How are you?

14
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-Kill anybody today?
-Didn't even wound anybody.

15
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Been really slow.

16
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-You're not gonna see your wife?
-No, she doesn't like me to surprise her at work.

17
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Charlie was married to Muriel.
She hated Queens.

18
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:17,363
I don't know. If he was a detective
or an undercover cop...

19
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...at least he'd have decent clothes.

20
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,493
You know? But that's not for him.
He's gotta wear the uniform.

21
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I feel for you, honey.
Because you got driving ambition.

22
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I know. I never pushed him enough.

23
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If he was on the take, at least
I'd say, "Okay. He has initiative."

24
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My sister was married to a cop
for 10 years. It's a no-win situation.

25
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Either they're honest and you're broke,
or they're crooks and they never come home.

26
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So your sister, what did she do?

27
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She left the cop and married an electrician.
That's your real money.

28
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I'm running out of patience. I tell you,
I'm a person who needs money.

29
00:03:56,194 --> 00:04:01,490
And then there was Yvonne, a waitress,
who's about to get some terrible news.

30
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Miss Biasi, according to your records here,
you owe $12,000 on your MasterCard.

31
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,875
Your Honor, those charges were incurred
by my ex-husband...

32
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...Eddie Biasi, the actor,
after I threw him out.

33
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The bank is not aware
of your divorce.

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Because we're not divorced yet. But I told him,
"You have to tear up the credit cards."

35
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And he promised--

36
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If you're not divorced yet, you're still liable
for any and all debts your husband has incurred.

37
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But I am divorced in my heart.
You know? I mean, and that's what counts.

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Legally, that's not what counts.

39
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But do you know how much it costs
to get divorced? Have you ever been divorced?

40
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Probably not. Probably not.
Probably you haven't.

41
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Probably you've
had good luck your entire life.

42
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Which is great.
Which is the opposite of me.

43
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:56,754
Miss Biasi, if the MasterCard is in your name,
it's still your responsibility.

44
00:04:56,922 --> 00:05:02,885
Listen, please. I came to New York
from Pittsburgh five years ago, to be an actress.

45
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I had done "Our Town" in college.

46
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Let me tell you something.
Played Emily. People were crying buckets.

47
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-I'm sure they were.
-Will there be anything else?

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So I come to New York,
and I meet Eddie.

49
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Talk about the worst luck of all.
Your Honor, he swept me off my feet.

50
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He bought me flowers, he took me
on taxi rides, and real restaurants.

51
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With linen and wine and good lighting,
you know?

52
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Everything was so perfect, except he turned out
to be this pathological liar.

53
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,045
And I believed every word he said...

54
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:42,800
...because I used to have
all this faith in people. You know?

55
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So.... So, like, in short...

56
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,520
...what are my options here?

57
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Charlie, Muriel and Yvonne
all lived in a city...

58
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:26,677
...where people prayed
for miracles every day.

59
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,972
Like winning
the $64 million lottery.

60
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My name is Angel.

61
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:37,188
The story you're about to see,
well, it's pretty much all true.

62
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I had a dream last night.

63
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I was playing a slot machine, and I got
three cherries, but they wasn't cherries.

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They were my father's face, the face of
my dead father. It's a sign.

65
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But you hated your father.

66
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,338
Makes no difference I hated him.
A sign is a sign.

67
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I know you think I'm nuts,
but I tell you, we're gonna win.

68
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I didn't say you were nuts.

69
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I just said the odds of us winning
the lottery are not overwhelming.

70
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And you know what? It's okay.

71
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:18,646
One bedroom in Queens
is not my idea of living.

72
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One bedroom in Queens is fine.

73
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:25,694
If we had kids....
If we had kids, it would be another story.

74
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:30,533
-We don't have the money to have kids.
-Of course we have the money to have kids.

75
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Cops have kids.
Firemen have kids.

76
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If only rich people had kids,
there wouldn't be public schools.

77
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Charlie, just get the ticket
this morning, please.

78
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She gotta get real. You gotta tell her:

79
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"I'm the man. I'm out here every day,
getting it done...

80
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:50,678
...getting paid, bringing it home." You know
what I'm saying? She gotta listen to you.

81
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-You can't be serious.
-It takes two minutes.

82
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I'm starving, man.

83
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-Hey, people, this is police business, step aside.
-Bo, Bo.

84
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-It'll take two minutes.
-Sorry. Sorry.

85
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This is gonna take forever.
Then the Burger King's another five blocks.

86
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-So we'll eat across the street. We never went there.
-What, that place? Oh, no.

87
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-Where the hell were you?
-I told you yesterday, Sal.

88
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Five times. A personal matter,
I couldn't help it. Hi, Carol.

89
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You are two hours late.
It comes off your paycheck.

90
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What? Do you know how many
sick days I have coming?

91
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:40,603
You want a sick day, get sick.
If you're healthy, you work.

92
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Get me some coffee.

93
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-On your head, sweetie pie.
-Thanks.

94
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-That guy sets a nice tone here, huh?
-Yeah, like a drill sergeant.

95
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Here we go.

96
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-You guys want some coffee?
-Please.

97
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Please.

98
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-You guys know what you want?
-Cheeseburger deluxe, medium.

99
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And while I'm waiting,
a blueberry muffin.

100
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All right.

101
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And you, officer?

102
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:29,151
You recommend
the lobster thermidor?

103
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That's really funny. I mean,
I think I'm just gonna die laughing.

104
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The kind of day I've had so far.
I can't even tell you what a treat this is.

105
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,041
You've had a bad day?

106
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-Call me when you're ready.
-A meatball sandwich.

107
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Really. That's what I want.

108
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-Meatball?
-Meatball.

109
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You are very brave, officer.

110
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She likes you. Yeah, she really likes you.

111
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,776
I was trying to cheer her up.

112
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:14,363
We got a store alarm on Spring Street
and a naked man in traffic...

113
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-Well, I'm full.
-...on Sullivan.

114
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Shit, I'm gonna starve to death.

115
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-Your turn for the check.
-Okay.

116
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:33,382
-Miss, we gotta run, so we'll just take a check.
-After that whole routine?

117
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:38,721
-When those radios go off....
-Where, where? Where did I--?

118
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,058
Thank you.

119
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:48,897
All right, so that's two coffees plus taxes.
Two even.

120
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:58,615
Oh, jeez. I'm short.

121
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-Fine, officer. No charge.
-No, I have the check.

122
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I just don't have enough for a tip.

123
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,666
-I'll live.
-I can't not leave a tip.

124
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,294
So leave a tip.

125
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,090
A lottery ticket?

126
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:20,971
With my luck? Be serious. No. Go, get the cat
out of the tree or whatever it is that you do.

127
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,599
No, that would be the Fire Department.

128
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,645
-Come on, Charlie, let's go.
-In a second.

129
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,482
Listen, I got an idea.
What's your name?

130
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:37,821
Yvonne? Yvonne, I'm Charlie Lang,
and we're partners.

131
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:41,116
If this ticket wins, I'll come back tomorrow
and split the proceeds.

132
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:45,162
If it doesn't, I'll still come back and leave you a tip.
What do you think?

133
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,457
-I think I'm never gonna see you again.
-You'll see me tomorrow.

134
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,460
-Well, I'll be here.
-You've got a deal.

135
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,313
All right, five more minutes.

136
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,523
-Charlie.
-Yeah.

137
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:13,982
I ordered Chinese. Come up.

138
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,860
-In a minute.
-What, are you whipped?

139
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:21,782
No, I'm not whipped.
I've got adult responsibilities. Next batter.

140
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,660
Hey, batter, batter, batter.

141
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:30,374
That's it. I'm out of here.
Where's the ball?

142
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,840
I'm coming, Mom.

143
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,510
-Are you whipped, Jesu?
-It's my mother, there's no comparison.

144
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:45,347
-See you tomorrow, kiddo.
-Yeah. Night, Charlie.

145
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,725
Did you, by any chance,
have surgery last night?

146
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:54,731
You mean these? No.
No, this is just a prosthetic bra....

147
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:58,360
Charlie, come on. Don't do that next to me.
That's disgusting.

148
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:03,115
-I'm just soaking my feet.
-Please.

149
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,200
I just can't believe it's you.

150
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:08,662
Well, it's not. But it's gonna be.

151
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:13,834
-Since when did this bother you?
-Since now, okay?

152
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,880
Oh, God! Charlie, now you're
spilling water all over the place.

153
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:23,343
Maybe I should call the Red Cross.
I'll tell them we're a federal disaster area. God!

154
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:28,557
As a matter of fact, I have some a couple
of sizes larger that I'll change into after work.

155
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,017
-Charlie.
-What?

156
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,935
You think I should get my boobs done?

157
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,189
-Done?
-Yeah, you know, enlarged.

158
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,567
So I could be like that.

159
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:46,909
What, are you nuts?
It seems so extreme.

160
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,828
-Forget it.
-I just don't think you need it.

161
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,247
Forget it.

162
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,840
Look, the problem is that
I had to declare bankruptcy.

163
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:07,679
My MasterCard got taken away. What I wanna
know is when I'm gonna be able to get it back.

164
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,354
What are my chances?

165
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:23,779
-Under 15,000 a year? MasterCard.
-Shall I speak to them? Love to.

166
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,114
Yeah? Well....

167
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,451
Wait. I see.

168
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:37,167
Well, thank you.
That's what I thought.

169
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:42,464
-What did they say?
-Slim to none. Those are my chances.

170
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:46,468
Well, the lotto jackpot has grown
to over $64 million.

171
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,804
We'll check the winning numbers
when we return.

172
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:58,313
-You got the numbers wrong.
-Wrong?

173
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:05,237
-Our anniversary is on the 27th, not on the 26th.
-We always celebrate on the 26th.

174
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:10,993
We got the license on the 26th.
We got married on the 27th.

175
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:16,164
-So why do we go out on the 26th?
-I don't know, maybe it's custom.

176
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:20,335
Look, the fact is that I specifically
told you our anniversary.

177
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:25,382
To anybody with any sense in their heads,
that means the day they got married.

178
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,969
-I am sorry, darling.
-Twenty-six, 64, 84.

179
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,887
Did he say 26?

180
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,849
Those numbers, again, are...

181
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:39,938
...6, 12, 16, 26, 64, 84.

182
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:44,776
-What?
-We won. We got the jackpot.

183
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:51,783
-That's unbelievable.
-We're rich. We're rich. We're rich.

184
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:57,539
-The jackpot?
-We're rich, rich, rich.

185
00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:02,252
-What are we having, honey?
-BLT down with turkey bacon.

186
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,255
-Any Miracle Whip?
-Of course I have Miracle Whip.

187
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:09,217
No matter how broke I am,
there's just certain things, certain standards.

188
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:13,680
You have to have things in your life
that are stable, that are permanent, eternal.

189
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:17,517
-Oreos. Smuckers.
-Exactly.

190
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,064
-Thank you.
-Will there be anything else?

191
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:29,237
Will there be anything else?

192
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,034
There'll never be anything else.

193
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:38,497
God, I hate this. I feel bankrupt.

194
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,666
What?

195
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:46,004
Oh, God. A bowling team from Albany
had the same numbers.

196
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:50,759
-They get 9 million.
-Why am I not surprised?

197
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:56,264
-Well, how many are there on the team?
-I don't know. Twelve guys is the average league.

198
00:16:56,432 --> 00:17:01,019
Okay, well, do each of these guys get a piece,
or do you consider them all as one?

199
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:05,941
Muriel, Muriel. The veins,
they're bulging out of your neck.

200
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,151
You look like a psycho.

201
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,781
What? All right. Yeah.

202
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:19,496
Oh, my God. Okay, the bowlers,
thank God, they only count as one.

203
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:24,793
But that's 16 people that picked
these numbers. Oh, God.

204
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,878
That only leaves us with...

205
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,798
...four million.

206
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,884
We could live on that, right?

207
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,470
Oh, yeah, yeah.

208
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,974
We could live on less, even.

209
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:43,937
Let's just pray to God that nobody else calls in,
so we don't have to split it with them.

210
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,318
What?

211
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,321
What?

212
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,284
What, Charlie?
You're making me nervous. What?

213
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,708
Honey...

214
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,174
...I've got something to tell you.

215
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:20,390
-A complete stranger? Charlie.
-I owed her a tip.

216
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:24,853
A tip?
Two million dollars? Come on.

217
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:28,356
I never thought we'd win, darling.
I never thought we'd win.

218
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,401
But we did win,
just like I told you we were going to.

219
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,196
But if we'd used your numbers,
we wouldn't have won.

220
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:38,366
Don't do that. Don't do that, Charlie.
Because you know and I know...

221
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:42,245
...that in my dream, my dead father
came to me through the slot machine.

222
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:45,749
And in his eyes there were dollar signs
and a "4" in place of the pupil.

223
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:48,418
Come on, Charlie. You wanna blemish
his sacred memory?

224
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:53,548
That's ridiculous. He was a nut job,
your father, he prayed to chickens.

225
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,718
He wants us to have the 4 million.

226
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,137
My God, do you think if he intended us
to have half...

227
00:18:59,138 --> 00:18:59,596
My God, do you think if he intended us
to have half...

228
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:03,517
...wouldn't there be a "2" instead of a "4"
inside the eyeballs?

229
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,731
It's not the right thing.

230
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:16,655
The right thing?
Charlie, what the hell is that?

231
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:20,367
You've been doing the right thing
your whole entire life for everybody else.

232
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:24,120
Just this once, please, do the right thing for us.

233
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,583
I gave her my word.

234
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,961
Charlie....

235
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:36,091
-Honey, do you love me?
-Of course I love you.

236
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:43,682
Then stiff her. Stiff her
and smell the flowers. For me.

237
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:51,648
-What would you do?
-I'd buy the Knicks.

238
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,276
I mean, about the girl.

239
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:57,612
I'd take her to the Garden
so she could watch me play.

240
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:02,617
I'd start myself as
a very small, round forward.

241
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:06,621
So you agree with Muriel, right?
Giving her half is crazy?

242
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,875
If I can't have the Knicks,
I want those season tickets...

243
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:15,672
...where you sit on the floor with Jack Nicholson
and Spike Lee. And the waiters bring you food.

244
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,842
-A promise is a promise.
-And one of those stereo systems...

245
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,303
...that you can hear in every room
in your house.

246
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:25,682
You see, that way you don't have to be
carrying around that boom box with you.

247
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,226
I could tell her I just won 5,000.
I could do that.

248
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,061
Yeah, yeah, you could.

249
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:35,734
So, what's that? Season tickets,
stereo system, Mazda GL6?

250
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:41,823
-I couldn't do that. I couldn't just lie like that.
-A boat. I've never even been in a boat.

251
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:46,995
-Come on, are you listening to me?
-I know you, man. You'll do the appropriate thing.

252
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:51,499
-Which is?
-I don't know. That's your field.

253
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:04,596
Okay. So we have tuna on whole wheat,
one scrambled soft, toast crisp, tea with lemon.

254
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,222
-Sugar's at your table.
-Thanks.

255
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:09,184
-Everything okay here? Good, good.
-Yeah, thanks.

256
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:13,355
Morning.

257
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:17,150
-You're back.
-I said I'd be back.

258
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,946
-Coffee?
-No, thanks. Actually, I just wanted to--

259
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,698
I really wanna apologize for yesterday.
I was so rude.

260
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:27,869
It's just that it was pretty much
the worst day of my life, from start to finish.

261
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,789
-Yvonne, let's go, wake up.
-Impossible today.

262
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:35,418
-I'm impossible? Yvonne's dreaming here.
-Quit the socializing.

263
00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:38,964
Don't go anywhere,
I want to apologize to you in detail.

264
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:42,175
Okay. Western for you, Walter.

265
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,971
And for Timothy, some nice oatmeal
like Mom used to make.

266
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:51,893
My mother never made oatmeal in her life.
My mother never made food in her life.

267
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:55,230
Bloody Marys, she made.
White Russians....

268
00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:59,234
-But she had a great personality.
-So did Imelda Marcos.

269
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:05,490
-Well, she produced a nice son, right?
-You're okay, you know that?

270
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,409
Eat.

271
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:16,626
-He's got it, huh?
-Yeah, a couple of years. Come in twice a week.

272
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:22,298
He's really starting to go downhill, though,
you know? In and out of the hospital....

273
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,301
What a world, huh? Really.

274
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:30,098
Makes you wanna appreciate every moment,
you know, not be petty or spiteful.

275
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,685
-I know just what you mean.
-Yvonne.

276
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,647
Speaking of which....

277
00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:46,990
What I have here is a check for $9.53.
What I do not have is the $9.53.

278
00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:49,492
He went to get his wallet out of the car.
He said--

279
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:51,828
Never let them out the door.

280
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:55,790
-What am I running here, a soup kitchen?
-I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

281
00:22:55,958 --> 00:23:02,464
You sure did, gorgeous. And the $9.53, it gets
deducted from your check. Bring me some coffee.

282
00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:21,441
Let me.

283
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,533
Enjoy.

284
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:40,126
-Now, that's coffee.
-So, what'll it be?

285
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:44,839
-They're actually.... They're right....
-Amazing, but true.

286
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:48,343
We are all out of cantaloupe,
and the grapefruit's all dried out, so....

287
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,678
No, I'm not hungry.

288
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:54,015
The thing is, I got something
for you.

289
00:23:56,685 --> 00:24:01,022
-For me?
-It's just, you know, a trifle.

290
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,362
May I?

291
00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:12,117
It's one of those little strings
that you connect to your glasses...

292
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:15,537
...so that they hang around your neck.

293
00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:20,959
And that way you'll know where they are.
At all times.

294
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:32,887
This is the nicest thing
anyone's ever gotten me.

295
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:38,810
-I certainly hope not.
-It's close.

296
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:43,064
You sure that I can't get you anything?
Like a coffee or tea?

297
00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:47,610
Decaf, please. I've reached
my target heart rate for the day.

298
00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:48,945
Decaf it is.

299
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:57,912
-So, you've had bad luck?
-Unbelievable.

300
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,542
When I was 11, my dog died of parvo.

301
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:06,838
I still don't even know, to this day,
what parvo is.

302
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:11,009
I married the wrong man.
I mean the wrong, by a lot, man.

303
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:13,428
You know?

304
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:17,682
Now I can't afford to get divorced.
I mean, except for yesterday....

305
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,976
You know, I'm used to my luck.

306
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:26,733
But yesterday, I actually went bankrupt
before I came into work, which was....

307
00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:29,527
That's why I was so rude to you.

308
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:34,616
-You went bankrupt?
-Yep.

309
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:37,660
-Look. From the officer.
-That's sweet, honey.

310
00:25:37,828 --> 00:25:40,288
-Wait.
-What?

311
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:41,831
About our little agreement.

312
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,338
Double the tip, or
half of what I won in the lottery.

313
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:56,471
-That agreement.
-How about we make it your choice.

314
00:25:56,639 --> 00:26:01,476
Door one, double the tip.
Door two, half of what I won in the lottery.

315
00:26:01,644 --> 00:26:04,771
My choice? Okay.

316
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:11,986
Whatever. I'll take door number two.
I'll take half of the lottery. Pay up.

317
00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:15,657
-You're sure?
-Positive.

318
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:29,504
-I was hoping you'd say that.
-I'll bet you were. Better luck next time, right?

319
00:26:29,672 --> 00:26:33,508
Actually, we were....
We were pretty lucky.

320
00:26:33,676 --> 00:26:37,011
-Really? Did you win something?
-We won something.

321
00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:41,975
All right. We won something?
What did we win?

322
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:44,185
Four million dollars.

323
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,027
-Why are you doing this?
-What?

324
00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:54,696
This sick joke.

325
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,365
-No, it's not a joke.
-This is not a joke?

326
00:26:57,533 --> 00:27:00,368
-No.
-No? What you're telling me....

327
00:27:00,536 --> 00:27:02,578
What you're saying to me....
You really....

328
00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:05,081
-What, you think I'd make this up?
-Yes, yes, I do.

329
00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:06,874
I'm not. We won.

330
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:10,420
The lottery? The New York State--?
The "lottery" lottery?

331
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:13,172
The actual New York State lottery?
Four million dollars?

332
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:16,884
Yes, 4 million is our share.
It happened last night. It would've been more...

333
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:19,429
...except a bowling team from Albany called in...

334
00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:22,223
...they took about 9 million out of the pot,
but we won.

335
00:27:22,391 --> 00:27:27,228
And you're telling me
that you're actually going to split it with me?

336
00:27:30,065 --> 00:27:31,899
A promise is a promise.

337
00:27:36,905 --> 00:27:37,989
Oh, my God.

338
00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:45,246
-You all right?
-Oh, my God.

339
00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:50,126
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

340
00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:58,134
I can't believe it.

341
00:27:58,302 --> 00:28:02,096
Now I know why all these bad things
happened. I know why now.

342
00:28:02,264 --> 00:28:06,976
It's so this stupendous, phenomenal,
unbelievably great thing could happen to me.

343
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:10,855
Because I had such bad, horrible, horrible luck
before, no one would even mind.

344
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:12,940
Who wants ice cream on their pie?

345
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:15,860
-I do!
-Who wants pie?

346
00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:18,321
Thank you.

347
00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:39,675
Wait a minute.
I can't accept this, can I? I mean....

348
00:28:40,928 --> 00:28:46,307
I can't accept this. I mean,
I want to, so desperately I want to, but....

349
00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:49,644
But there's this part of me,
this neurotic part of me--

350
00:28:49,812 --> 00:28:51,020
Accept it.

351
00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:55,108
-How can I?
-Accept it. I want you to have it.

352
00:28:56,151 --> 00:29:01,322
-With all my heart.
-Yvonne, take it.

353
00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:12,041
Muriel, $2 million is still
an enormous amount of money.

354
00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:16,379
You should be committed to
an insane asylum for the rest of your natural life.

355
00:29:16,547 --> 00:29:20,091
They should put you in a straitjacket
and take you to the loony bin...

356
00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:24,345
...on Staten Island that Geraldo Rivera
is always exposing.

357
00:29:25,514 --> 00:29:28,850
Now, look, sweetheart,
you weren't there. Okay?

358
00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:33,229
This girl, she's got customers with AIDS,
and she treats them like an angel.

359
00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:36,232
-She's got a boss from hell.
-Why did you stop at half?

360
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,985
Why didn't you just give her all the money?

361
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:42,697
-Would you get off my foot?
-Look, we're doing the right thing.

362
00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:48,536
You know what? The whole city will admire you.
Everybody will know you. You'll be a celebrity.

363
00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:53,124
Well, maybe I could get
some commercial endorsements out of this.

364
00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:56,878
Absolutely. "Muriel Lang,
the woman with the heart of gold."

365
00:29:57,045 --> 00:30:00,548
You can endorse shampoos, conditioners...

366
00:30:00,716 --> 00:30:04,051
...nail polish, nail polish remover.

367
00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:08,890
"Muriel Lang,
the woman with the heart of gold."

368
00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:11,142
Well, I'd better get
something out of this.

369
00:30:14,897 --> 00:30:19,066
-Bowling for dollars. Bowling for dollars.
-I want my check, Harry.

370
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:21,903
I want my check.

371
00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:26,407
Some of New York's luckiest people
gathered here in midtown Manhattan...

372
00:30:26,575 --> 00:30:32,455
..here to stake their claim in
the state's $64 million lotto jackpot.

373
00:30:32,623 --> 00:30:35,750
So you promised Miss Biasi
if your ticket came in, you'd split it?

374
00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:37,668
That's right. As a tip.

375
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:42,590
As a tip? Hey. We got a cop that gave
a waitress a $2 million tip.

376
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:46,469
We're gonna open our own
bowling alley.

377
00:30:46,637 --> 00:30:50,264
-You insulted the guy.
-I insulted the guy? Next time, you talk.

378
00:30:50,432 --> 00:30:53,601
-I'd like a little cottage in the country.
-Excuse me.

379
00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:03,444
-Excuse me. Excuse me.
-Mrs. Lang, how do you feel?

380
00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:07,615
-I'm Mrs. Lang.
-Mrs. Lang? You're Mrs. Lang.

381
00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:10,284
Oh, my God. Here. These are for you.

382
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,372
What an incredible woman you are
to give $2 million...

383
00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:17,291
-...to someone you don't even know.
-You have no idea.

384
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:21,963
Mrs. Lang, do you have any trouble with the fact
your husband split $4 million with a stranger?

385
00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:26,551
Not at all. In the beauty parlor
that I work, I've always been known as...

386
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:30,972
...Muriel Lang,
the woman with the heart of gold.

387
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:33,808
And if there are any sponsors
out there, like Denorex...

388
00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:36,894
...which I personally use,
you know, because the air in my--

389
00:31:37,062 --> 00:31:38,187
Guys!

390
00:31:38,355 --> 00:31:42,525
We've got to get the winners together
for a group picture.

391
00:31:42,693 --> 00:31:46,404
-Miss Biasi, what are you gonna do with the money?
-A new car? Bigger apartment?

392
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:50,199
I haven't thought about it yet.
It's so unexpected, you know?

393
00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:52,827
Well, a promise is a promise.

394
00:31:52,995 --> 00:31:56,664
Muriel Lang,
woman with the heart of gold.

395
00:31:56,832 --> 00:32:02,003
Oh, actress briefly,
but it didn't work out.

396
00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:08,634
Denorex.
Works out each individual dandruff.

397
00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:14,390
-Officer Lang, you gonna stay on the force?
-I'm gonna buy the force.

398
00:32:15,183 --> 00:32:19,186
-Yvonne?
-So it's "Yvonne" already?

399
00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:22,523
-Is this the biggest tip you've ever received?
-Definitely.

400
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:24,609
Muriel.

401
00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:31,657
-Have you ever won anything before?
-Never.

402
00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:35,119
-Never.
-Big smile, everybody.

403
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:14,533
Come on, she has no taste. That outfit,
it looked like it came from the '60s.

404
00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:17,453
I thought she looked just fine.

405
00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:20,915
She's not flashy.
She's just a waitress.

406
00:33:21,083 --> 00:33:24,293
Beauty is my business,
defer to my judgment, okay?

407
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:31,676
My God, it's Bendel's. Oh, honey, what a feeling
it is to come here with money.

408
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,262
God bless you.

409
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:38,808
Would you stop giving it away
to every bum on the street.

410
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:45,272
God bless you.

411
00:33:47,776 --> 00:33:51,112
-Now I'm happy.
-I'm glad, sweetheart.

412
00:33:55,826 --> 00:33:59,120
-Now I'm at peace with myself.
-I'm glad, sweetheart.

413
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:04,375
Just a quick stop at Tiffany's,
and I'll be born again.

414
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:09,004
Fur's for animals,
not for people.

415
00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:57,303
Excuse me.

416
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,927
This is Eleanor Smith
of MasterCard credit services.

417
00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:41,013
We're calling with the happy news
that you are now eligible...

418
00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:44,225
...Miss Yvonne Biasi,
for a $20,000 line of credit.

419
00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:49,355
Please call me at 1-800-555-2000.

420
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:55,152
-I've died and gone to heaven.
-Hi, Yvonne, congratulations on winning.

421
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:59,114
My name is Paul, and I'd like you
to spank my tushy with a wire brush.

422
00:35:59,282 --> 00:36:03,786
Oh, my God. That's disgusting.

423
00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:09,583
I've got to change my number.

424
00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:13,420
Hello, this is Yvonne.
At the beep, please leave a message.

425
00:36:14,756 --> 00:36:17,258
Hello? Sweetheart?

426
00:36:19,928 --> 00:36:22,596
I'll bet you're there.

427
00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:28,018
I know, I know. You're mad at me
because I emptied the checking account.

428
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:31,814
-But, baby, I can explain.
-Stay out of my life, Eddie.

429
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:35,317
You are there. Hi, baby.

430
00:36:35,485 --> 00:36:38,612
The only reason you're calling
is you read about me and the lottery.

431
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:43,284
-You want a piece of it.
-What? You won something?

432
00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:47,288
-Die.
-No, baby. I'm serious.

433
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:52,626
I've been out of town.
What, the lottery, you said? That's fabulous.

434
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,754
You did good?

435
00:36:58,425 --> 00:37:00,050
I did all right.

436
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:06,473
Well, that's great, baby.
Nobody deserves it more. I mean that.

437
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:09,310
From the bottom of my heart.

438
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:15,858
-Hello?
-Please don't ever call me again.

439
00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,160
-So when are you retiring?
-I'm not retiring.

440
00:37:26,328 --> 00:37:28,704
-Yeah, right.
-I'm not retiring. Get off my case.

441
00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:31,165
Where's that sense of humor?

442
00:37:31,666 --> 00:37:34,418
What would you do?
Three in the morning, a guy calls...

443
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,879
...says he's holding a Luger to his head...

444
00:37:37,047 --> 00:37:40,341
...unless you give him $1,000
he's pulling the trigger.

445
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:43,969
If he called me at 3:00 in the morning,
I'd tell him to go ahead.

446
00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:49,183
-That really happen?
-Last night. This lottery thing....

447
00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:52,019
From one day to the next,
you become this other person.

448
00:37:52,187 --> 00:37:54,438
-It's just weird.
-I feel bad for you, baby.

449
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:58,400
I'm not badmouthing it, all right?
I'm just saying, it's an adjustment.

450
00:38:02,364 --> 00:38:04,865
Sun. How are things
in the mysterious East?

451
00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:08,077
-Very good. Very busy.
-No unjustified price increases?

452
00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:10,329
No, no, no. Never.

453
00:38:10,497 --> 00:38:13,749
Good. Two coffees,
one regular, one light.

454
00:38:23,885 --> 00:38:26,345
-How's the wife?
-She has the flu.

455
00:38:26,513 --> 00:38:29,640
I'm sorry to hear that.

456
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:46,156
On the house.

457
00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:50,828
-Thank you.
-Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

458
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:57,209
Down there, make a right.

459
00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:01,588
Our favorite Korean
is getting robbed right now.

460
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:03,716
You serious?

461
00:39:03,883 --> 00:39:05,759
First he tells me his wife has the flu.

462
00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:08,262
Oh, man, that bitch would work
if she was dead.

463
00:39:08,430 --> 00:39:12,850
-Then he gives me coffee for free.
-Shit. He is getting robbed. How do we play it?

464
00:39:13,018 --> 00:39:16,020
Stay out front so they can see you.
I'll go through the basement.

465
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:18,355
-Don't be a hero.
-Don't worry. Call for some back-up.

466
00:39:20,108 --> 00:39:21,692
Faster.

467
00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:24,111
Faster!

468
00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,030
-Nobody moves.
-Come on!

469
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,866
A carton of Virginia Slims.

470
00:39:50,513 --> 00:39:52,806
That cop's just sitting out there.

471
00:39:53,016 --> 00:39:55,309
Don't worry about the cop.

472
00:39:58,480 --> 00:39:59,563
What was that?

473
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:05,152
Come here. Watch him.

474
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:11,241
Come on, let's go. Come on, pal. Move.

475
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,917
-What's back through there?
-Nothing. No entrance.

476
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:24,505
-What about that door?
-Empty. Basement. Just rats.

477
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:27,007
-Rats?
-Big ones.

478
00:40:27,175 --> 00:40:31,512
I hate rats.
Don't you keep this place clean?

479
00:40:37,894 --> 00:40:40,354
Nobody move. Nobody!

480
00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:45,025
What's with this cop?

481
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:49,071
He's got nothing better to do
than write tickets?

482
00:40:49,739 --> 00:40:51,532
With all the crime in this city?

483
00:40:53,368 --> 00:41:00,290
-What do we do?
-Wait till he leaves.

484
00:41:00,542 --> 00:41:06,547
-What if he doesn't leave, then what?
-He'll leave. Just shut up.

485
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:20,644
-What's the matter with her?
-I think she's having a heart attack.

486
00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:27,901
-Shut up.
-Call a doctor.

487
00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:30,487
I'm the doctor here, honey.

488
00:41:39,956 --> 00:41:41,498
Shit.

489
00:41:48,089 --> 00:41:52,634
Come on. Get up, Charlie.
Get up, man. You all right?

490
00:41:52,802 --> 00:41:55,429
Get inside, inside,
there's another one inside.

491
00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:57,931
Get in. There's another one inside.

492
00:41:58,099 --> 00:42:00,934
Come on, Charlie, get up, man.
You all right, man?

493
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:07,274
-Why didn't you just shoot this asshole?
-Too many customers.

494
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:11,445
-You all right, man?
-Yeah, I'm great.

495
00:42:19,621 --> 00:42:21,455
Oh, man, you got shot.

496
00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:29,421
His heroism saved lives and prevented
injuries, though not to himself.

497
00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:32,841
And certainly not
to the criminals he stopped.

498
00:42:33,468 --> 00:42:38,555
So I give to Officer Charles Lang
this citation for bravery...

499
00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:41,975
...and wish him a quick recovery.
Officer.

500
00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:45,646
Thank you very much.

501
00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:52,653
I guess this bullet was fate telling me
to take it easy for a while.

502
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,529
At least, that's what my wife says.

503
00:42:56,658 --> 00:43:00,661
I love being a cop,
lottery or no lottery.

504
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:03,997
I think it's the most important job
in the world.

505
00:43:04,165 --> 00:43:07,709
So I'd like to announce
that I'll be donating $10,000...

506
00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:10,796
...to the Policemen's Widows' Fund.

507
00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:14,007
Thanks a lot.

508
00:43:18,554 --> 00:43:22,099
Charlie, you're too young to be
hanging around here like an old man.

509
00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:25,727
Hey, I'm injured.
Don't you read the papers? Hero cop?

510
00:43:25,895 --> 00:43:30,482
-If you're such a hero, play ball with one hand.
-If I could, I would.

511
00:43:31,401 --> 00:43:34,111
-See you.
-Yeah, see you later.

512
00:43:53,715 --> 00:43:57,259
-Good afternoon, sir.
-Good afternoon.

513
00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:04,641
-This looks like Beirut.
-Isn't it great?

514
00:44:04,809 --> 00:44:06,393
Oh, honey.

515
00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:11,064
The building's going co-op next year, then
we'll have a six-room apartment to sell.

516
00:44:11,232 --> 00:44:13,066
-Mr. Patel told me.
-Who?

517
00:44:13,234 --> 00:44:16,236
Mr. Patel. Hi, I'm your accountant.
Hello, pleased to meet you.

518
00:44:16,404 --> 00:44:18,822
By the way, all the very best
on your new fortune.

519
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:20,741
Thank you.

520
00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:25,078
He says that we can make $100,000,
pure profit, on this apartment.

521
00:44:25,246 --> 00:44:26,413
Minimum.

522
00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:30,417
And then we'll beat the state and city taxes
if we move to Jersey within the year.

523
00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:37,299
-But I don't wanna live in Jersey. I wanna stay here.
-And do what? Play stickball?

524
00:44:39,344 --> 00:44:42,429
It's the architect. Excuse me.

525
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:45,807
-Where's my chair?
-I gave it to Goodwill.

526
00:44:46,059 --> 00:44:50,437
But you know I love that chair.
You could have asked me.

527
00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:56,610
Why should I? You're the one
that loves to give everything away.

528
00:44:58,321 --> 00:45:03,450
Women. Who can live with them?
And without them?

529
00:45:04,118 --> 00:45:05,660
What?

530
00:45:13,461 --> 00:45:17,005
-Gray's Antiques had another break-in.
-Again?

531
00:45:17,173 --> 00:45:22,135
Yeah. Two brothers walked off
with a Biedermeier chest.

532
00:45:22,303 --> 00:45:26,014
Then Gray says to me, "How could some
black guys know how much this is worth?"

533
00:45:26,182 --> 00:45:29,184
-Oh, come on. He said that?
-Yeah. To me.

534
00:45:29,352 --> 00:45:30,394
What did you say?

535
00:45:30,603 --> 00:45:36,149
I said, "I guess they subscribe to
the African-American Antiques Newsletter."

536
00:45:36,317 --> 00:45:38,443
He pissed me off.

537
00:45:41,823 --> 00:45:45,659
-I miss you, man.
-I'm going out of my mind.

538
00:45:45,827 --> 00:45:47,828
This is like hell.

539
00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,580
My house is a wreck,
and I got nothing to do....

540
00:45:50,748 --> 00:45:53,583
Well, that's retirement.

541
00:45:55,503 --> 00:46:00,424
-Well. "Yvonne's."
-She bought it a couple of weeks ago.

542
00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:02,217
Good for her.

543
00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:04,970
-Can I get you anything else?
-Tea, please.

544
00:46:05,138 --> 00:46:06,972
Okay.

545
00:46:08,141 --> 00:46:11,017
-Eight wants tea.
-Okay.

546
00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:17,691
-How's the soup?
-Not enough basil.

547
00:46:18,067 --> 00:46:22,195
You're kidding me.
I'll see what I can do.

548
00:46:22,363 --> 00:46:27,868
-Go in. Say hello.
-Forget it, she's busy.

549
00:46:28,035 --> 00:46:32,497
Come on, man.
I know you're dying to go in there.

550
00:46:33,541 --> 00:46:37,919
No, I've got to get home.
By the way, I got you something.

551
00:46:38,087 --> 00:46:41,089
-Season tickets to the Knicks.
-Oh, shit!

552
00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:45,510
-They're not on the floor--
-Knicks tickets, man? For me?

553
00:46:45,678 --> 00:46:48,221
You gotta be really somebody
to get them on the floor.

554
00:46:48,389 --> 00:46:51,099
Don't worry about that, give me some.

555
00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:52,809
-I gotta go home.
-Knicks tickets.

556
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:55,562
-Man, oh, man. Seat 7.
-I'm glad she's doing well.

557
00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:10,494
I don't know why you had to bring this coat.
It's a warm night.

558
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:13,830
Maybe I'll get a chill later.
Just hold it.

559
00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:28,512
-There certainly are a lot of people here.
-Isn’t it great?

560
00:47:28,679 --> 00:47:31,932
I feel like
we're at the Academy Awards.

561
00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:34,184
-Thank you.
-I'm going to go circulate.

562
00:47:34,352 --> 00:47:36,228
Okay, sweetheart.

563
00:47:48,449 --> 00:47:51,034
-Here's your lipstick.
-Oh, thanks.

564
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:57,791
I won $55 million, and
increased my net worth by 40 percent...

565
00:47:57,959 --> 00:48:00,877
...through a variety
of well-chosen mutual funds.

566
00:48:01,087 --> 00:48:05,590
-Forty percent?
-At virtually no risk.

567
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:11,304
S & L funds, Biotech funds.
Gold funds, they were a disaster.

568
00:48:11,472 --> 00:48:12,806
Stay away from those.

569
00:48:12,974 --> 00:48:16,268
Oh, I will. What do you think
about Treasury Bills?

570
00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:22,148
Well, they're for little old ladies.
Which you certainly are not.

571
00:48:22,316 --> 00:48:24,734
Aren't you a tiger.

572
00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:51,845
How can you
not have change for 20 dollars?

573
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:54,055
It's just not possible.
You drive all day.

574
00:48:54,223 --> 00:48:57,642
-We go get change.
-No, we cannot go get change.

575
00:48:57,810 --> 00:48:59,227
You have to break this.

576
00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:01,021
Hi.

577
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:07,027
Well, hi. Hi. Can you break a 20?

578
00:49:13,743 --> 00:49:16,202
Repeat after me:
"Keep the change."

579
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:20,206
-"Keep the change."
-Thank you.

580
00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:23,043
Thank you.

581
00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:30,050
-Oh my God, the boat.
-Oh, no. Wait.

582
00:49:31,052 --> 00:49:33,136
Wait!

583
00:49:44,065 --> 00:49:46,232
I suppose your wife is....

584
00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:52,906
She's in her element. Stockbrokers, CPAs,
she'll probably have the time of her life.

585
00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:56,493
-What about you?
-I hate boats.

586
00:49:56,661 --> 00:49:58,995
You wanna know the truth?
I'm relieved.

587
00:50:01,207 --> 00:50:04,668
-I think this is sturgeon.
-This is definitely not sturgeon.

588
00:50:06,087 --> 00:50:10,131
-It's just like velvet.
-Scottish salmon. The very best.

589
00:50:10,299 --> 00:50:12,217
More champagne?

590
00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:16,221
-For pretentious California, it's not half bad.
-You're not kidding. California?

591
00:50:16,389 --> 00:50:18,264
Could have fooled me.

592
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:23,645
-Oh, God. This is living.
-And it's just beginning.

593
00:50:23,813 --> 00:50:27,399
-You can say that again.
-And it's just beginning.

594
00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:29,609
Very good.

595
00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:38,618
Thank you.

596
00:50:43,958 --> 00:50:49,212
It's a pleasure to have you here. Can I get you
a cocktail? Or some champagne, perhaps?

597
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:52,549
-Champagne? Champagne.
-Very good.

598
00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:54,968
-Thank you.
-Thank you.

599
00:50:55,136 --> 00:51:01,641
-You decided not to become an actress?
-Yeah. I decided to become a waitress.

600
00:51:01,809 --> 00:51:04,352
I had the "tress" part right.

601
00:51:05,646 --> 00:51:09,441
-And I was a great waitress.
-The "tress" part.

602
00:51:09,608 --> 00:51:11,317
I saw you bought the place.

603
00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:13,027
You saw?

604
00:51:13,195 --> 00:51:17,991
-I passed by the other day.
-And you didn't come in?

605
00:51:18,784 --> 00:51:23,538
Well, I.... I don't know, I just....
I figured you were busy.

606
00:51:23,706 --> 00:51:28,126
Please, you have to come in, you have to.
You have to see what I did.

607
00:51:28,294 --> 00:51:32,338
I established a table with your name on it,
for people who couldn't afford a meal.

608
00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:34,466
No.

609
00:51:34,675 --> 00:51:36,676
Of course. After what you did. Of course.

610
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:43,016
What I did? I made a promise
and I kept it, period.

611
00:51:43,184 --> 00:51:47,687
-Most people would've done the same.
-Nobody would've done the same.

612
00:51:48,564 --> 00:51:54,360
Are you kidding?
What you did was like a fairy tale.

613
00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:00,909
And everyone gets to
live happily ever after?

614
00:52:18,552 --> 00:52:23,139
-Well, that's a hopeful sight.
-You think?

615
00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:25,099
I don't know.

616
00:52:25,267 --> 00:52:28,102
I always wonder,
what's in store for them?

617
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:31,231
Are they gonna be happy?

618
00:52:31,398 --> 00:52:34,984
I mean, if she puts on 50 pounds
or something, will he love her anyway?

619
00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:42,575
-How long were you married?
-Three years.

620
00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:47,121
To an actor named Eddie.

621
00:52:47,915 --> 00:52:52,919
Who suggested that if we had a child,
we name him Al Pacino.

622
00:52:54,922 --> 00:52:59,092
-Al Pacino Biasi.
-Come on.

623
00:52:59,260 --> 00:53:01,094
That's what I said.

624
00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:22,448
Muriel and I met in high school,
in one of those cooking classes...

625
00:53:22,616 --> 00:53:25,076
...where all the guys dress up
like Chef Boyardee.

626
00:53:25,244 --> 00:53:27,954
And you figure any minute,
there's gonna be a fire drill.

627
00:53:28,122 --> 00:53:29,873
And you're all outside in your aprons?

628
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:34,794
Exactly. Even now, thinking about it, I get chills.

629
00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:38,715
Anyhow, we started dating, and....

630
00:53:43,637 --> 00:53:46,472
Muriel was the first girl I ever....

631
00:53:48,309 --> 00:53:50,685
-Really?
-Yeah.

632
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:57,358
-Well, that's sweet.
-I guess.

633
00:53:58,986 --> 00:54:04,324
We went down to the marriage-license bureau,
and I remember, there was this other couple there.

634
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,993
They were Orthodox Jews.
It was an arranged marriage.

635
00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:08,828
An arranged marriage?

636
00:54:08,996 --> 00:54:12,665
They weren't allowed to see each other.
They were surrounded by their families.

637
00:54:12,833 --> 00:54:15,043
They couldn't get a glimpse
of each other.

638
00:54:15,210 --> 00:54:20,715
And I remember thinking, "My God. They don't
even know if they're attracted to each other.

639
00:54:20,883 --> 00:54:24,385
They don't even know if they've got anything
to talk about with each other."

640
00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:32,018
And here it is, ten years later, and I bet
they're happily married with six cute little kids.

641
00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:38,399
But Muriel and I have nothing to say
to one another. I don't know what happened.

642
00:54:39,068 --> 00:54:44,030
It's like we're on two different channels now.
I'm CNN, she's the Home Shopping Network.

643
00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:11,891
How would you feel about dancing?

644
00:55:15,229 --> 00:55:18,898
Oh, I'd be in favor of it.

645
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:43,149
When I was a rookie, I had the night shift,
and I felt like an explorer.

646
00:56:43,317 --> 00:56:47,278
Because there's this whole other city
that goes on all night long.

647
00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:52,033
-Am I talking incessantly?
-Yes.

648
00:56:52,201 --> 00:56:55,286
But I like it. I myself am a talker.

649
00:56:55,454 --> 00:56:57,163
So, I don't know.

650
00:56:57,331 --> 00:57:03,002
It's nice to meet somebody who you can
just talk with, you know, and hang with.

651
00:57:03,879 --> 00:57:09,509
Look, here's the thing.
I'm free all the time, basically.

652
00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:12,637
So if there's anything you ever wanna do
during the day...

653
00:57:12,805 --> 00:57:15,348
-...or you're alone and you don't wanna be....
-Really?

654
00:57:15,516 --> 00:57:19,268
-Sure.
-How about tomorrow?

655
00:57:19,436 --> 00:57:20,853
Tomorrow?

656
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:23,856
-Too soon?
-No, not at all.

657
00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:29,195
Okay, great. Okay. So, I'll have
Carol watch the register...

658
00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:33,074
...and you could come by,
pick me up at noon?

659
00:57:33,242 --> 00:57:34,700
I'll be there.

660
00:57:34,868 --> 00:57:37,203
-Okay.
-All right.

661
00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:39,038
Thank you.

662
00:57:39,206 --> 00:57:43,668
-Good night.
-Good night.

663
00:57:55,889 --> 00:58:01,227
Hi. Weirdest thing happened.
I thought I'd dropped my wallet outside.

664
00:58:01,395 --> 00:58:05,857
Weirdest thing happened. I came outside
because I was feeling a little seasick.

665
00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:12,405
Weirdest thing happened.

666
00:58:12,614 --> 00:58:14,031
I have some wonderful ideas.

667
00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:16,075
-Specifically with you in mind.
-Hi.

668
00:58:16,243 --> 00:58:18,035
Weirdest thing happened.

669
00:58:18,203 --> 00:58:20,663
Wasn't the veal fabulous?

670
00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:26,294
Fabulous. That was what was so weird.
I didn't expect veal. I expected chicken.

671
00:58:26,461 --> 00:58:30,006
I would have come sit with you,
but Mr. Gross here....

672
00:58:30,215 --> 00:58:31,924
-Jack Gross.
-My pleasure.

673
00:58:32,092 --> 00:58:33,759
Pleased to meet you, officer.

674
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:37,847
Charlie, he's going to help us develop
an economic strategy.

675
00:58:38,974 --> 00:58:43,644
-What a great idea.
-You have some girl here, officer. Smart.

676
00:58:44,813 --> 00:58:48,774
Beautiful.
And she knows what she wants.

677
00:58:48,942 --> 00:58:51,861
-See?
-I agree.

678
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:56,282
Thank you very much for a very
stimulating evening, Mr. Gross.

679
00:58:56,450 --> 00:58:58,201
My pleasure.

680
00:58:58,368 --> 00:59:02,955
-If you ever need any advice, either of you....
-I will be calling.

681
00:59:03,874 --> 00:59:07,710
-Well, ready?
-Sure.

682
00:59:07,878 --> 00:59:10,129
Come on, let's get upstairs.
I gotta get my coat.

683
00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:12,798
-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.

684
00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,649
Oh, no.

685
00:59:29,816 --> 00:59:33,986
-You're doing great.
-I never had great balance.

686
00:59:34,154 --> 00:59:38,241
I tried skiing once. They threw me off
the Peter Rabbit slope.

687
00:59:38,492 --> 00:59:43,079
-You gotta bend your knees. That's your problem.
-That's one of them.

688
00:59:44,331 --> 00:59:49,710
So now, there's a little bit of a hill here,
so you might want to watch it, so don't--

689
00:59:49,878 --> 00:59:52,838
-Slow down.
-I can't slow down.

690
00:59:53,131 --> 00:59:56,342
-Sure you can.
-Sure I can-- I can't.

691
01:00:00,889 --> 01:00:03,641
-Charlie, turn.
-Okay.

692
01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:14,360
-Are you okay?
-Fine.

693
01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:19,699
I mean, I'll probably catch leprosy from the water,
but otherwise I'm okay.

694
01:00:19,866 --> 01:00:25,329
So I guess this is it
for you and rollerblading?

695
01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:27,081
I would have to say yes.

696
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:34,880
Okay, your turn. What next?
What do you want to do?

697
01:00:42,264 --> 01:00:46,934
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Charlie Lang, and I've just won the lottery.

698
01:00:47,227 --> 01:00:51,439
Tonight's ride home is on me
and Miss Yvonne Biasi.

699
01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:02,491
-What's going on?
-The cop and the waitress are treating everybody.

700
01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:18,007
-This is going to be hard to top.
-I'll top it.

701
01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:23,220
The time is now 5:16 p.m. Thank you
for riding with the New York Transit Authority.

702
01:01:26,183 --> 01:01:30,936
Welcome to Charlie Lang,
Yvonne Biasi...

703
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:34,648
...Officer Bo Williams...

704
01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:39,779
...and all the kids
from Woodside, Queens.

705
01:02:24,157 --> 01:02:27,993
I know, I know.
I'm trying.

706
01:02:46,555 --> 01:02:49,014
Out of there!

707
01:02:49,433 --> 01:02:51,142
Third base!

708
01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:55,521
Out of there!

709
01:03:23,091 --> 01:03:24,717
Good one.

710
01:03:25,260 --> 01:03:27,720
-Go.
-All right.

711
01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:13,933
-Come on.
-Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

712
01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:17,269
Okay. Well, hey. Hey!

713
01:04:17,437 --> 01:04:21,315
It was a great day.
It was a great day for me too.

714
01:04:22,609 --> 01:04:26,237
-What the hell is she doing?
-She's pissed, whatever she's doing.

715
01:04:26,404 --> 01:04:28,197
Muriel.

716
01:04:31,535 --> 01:04:32,952
Muriel!

717
01:04:33,119 --> 01:04:38,791
-Congratulations, Mr. Token Man.
-Oh, God.

718
01:05:13,994 --> 01:05:17,871
-Honey, I'm home.
-No. No, you have to leave.

719
01:05:18,039 --> 01:05:19,665
These are fantastic.

720
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,459
-Stop eating my macadamia nuts.
-Give me a kiss.

721
01:05:22,627 --> 01:05:24,503
No. No, I'm serious, I'm serious.

722
01:05:24,671 --> 01:05:28,090
-You can't stay here. Out.
-Why? You expecting company?

723
01:05:28,258 --> 01:05:30,968
-No. No.
-No?

724
01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:33,679
Not Officer Krupke, the saintly cop?

725
01:05:34,931 --> 01:05:39,184
There's nothing going on between me
and Charlie Lang. And he's not a saint...

726
01:05:39,352 --> 01:05:44,023
...he's just simply a decent human being.
Something you couldn't possibly--

727
01:05:44,274 --> 01:05:46,692
If you eat one more of those nuts,
I swear to you....

728
01:05:47,861 --> 01:05:53,032
-Are you having an affair with this girl?
-No, of course not. We just hang out together.

729
01:05:53,283 --> 01:05:57,870
You should've heard that Russian bitch
downstairs, "Oh, your husband and that waitress."

730
01:05:58,038 --> 01:05:59,872
But, okay, what's the real issue here?

731
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:03,834
What's happening between us,
or what some idiot neighbor thinks?

732
01:06:04,002 --> 01:06:08,005
It's been like a cold war here.
And every time I've tried to talk about it, you--

733
01:06:08,173 --> 01:06:13,302
-All I have done is tried to make you happy.
-No, that's not all you've tried to do.

734
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:16,972
I used to come home at night,
and you'd throw your arms around me.

735
01:06:17,182 --> 01:06:21,310
You'd kiss me and say, "How was your day?"
When's the last time that happened?

736
01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:22,853
Five years ago?

737
01:06:23,021 --> 01:06:26,065
-I have no idea. It's not important.
-No, but it is important.

738
01:06:26,232 --> 01:06:27,274
It's history.

739
01:06:27,442 --> 01:06:31,570
-You go around with this girl.
-I'm not having an affair.

740
01:06:32,739 --> 01:06:36,742
This thing between you and the cop,
frankly, it's none of my business.

741
01:06:36,910 --> 01:06:41,413
But there is one thing
that's very important, and it's this.

742
01:06:41,581 --> 01:06:43,248
Don't be afraid.

743
01:06:44,459 --> 01:06:50,589
"The Eddie Biasi Players."

744
01:06:53,426 --> 01:06:57,346
You want money.
Of course you want money.

745
01:06:57,514 --> 01:07:00,432
Just 50 grand in seed money.
And then we're off and running.

746
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:03,602
Okay, honey, look. Picture this, picture this.
Please, please.

747
01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:08,899
Of course not. Not you, not Mr. Saintly.
You're too good to have an affair.

748
01:07:09,067 --> 01:07:13,195
Oh, God, Charlie. I'm just so sick of it.
Your niceness and your decency.

749
01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:14,863
But you wanna know what?

750
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:20,160
You're nothing. You're a working-class stiff.
You are blue collar all the way.

751
01:07:27,460 --> 01:07:29,169
I'm not gonna change, Muriel.

752
01:07:33,508 --> 01:07:35,008
I know.

753
01:07:37,971 --> 01:07:43,475
-So I want a divorce.
-You want a divorce?

754
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:45,686
As soon as possible.

755
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:49,898
I have wings, Charlie.
I want to fly.

756
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:04,329
Honey? Honey?

757
01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:07,458
All right, look, babe, the bottom line is,
I'm sticking around--

758
01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:10,669
Which I have a right to do.
--until you kick in.

759
01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:14,882
Well, you stick around,
because I am out of here.

760
01:08:15,049 --> 01:08:17,676
-Where are you going, big shot?
-Get away from that door.

761
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:19,720
Where are you going? The Plaza?

762
01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:23,182
-Yeah, the Plaza.
-Really?

763
01:08:23,349 --> 01:08:27,770
Really. And if you're still here
when I get back, I'm calling the cops.

764
01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:31,315
And believe me, I am now
in a position to get them to come.

765
01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:49,249
-Where you going?
-A hotel.

766
01:08:49,876 --> 01:08:53,295
-You mean, you and her?
-We're history.

767
01:08:53,588 --> 01:08:58,926
-Can't say I'm surprised.
-No? It's funny, I am.

768
01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:04,723
No matter what comes before,
you just don't expect this.

769
01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:10,229
-What hotel, Charlie? What if I wanna call you?
-I'll be at the Holiday Inn on Ninth.

770
01:09:10,396 --> 01:09:12,314
-Holiday Inn?
-Yeah.

771
01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:15,234
-Charlie, you won the lottery.
-Yeah?

772
01:09:15,401 --> 01:09:18,028
One night at least,
stay at the Plaza.

773
01:09:21,241 --> 01:09:26,411
Maybe I will.
You're a real pal, you know that?

774
01:09:27,247 --> 01:09:29,122
I'll see you guys.

775
01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:59,152
-Good evening.
-Good evening.

776
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:03,198
-I'd like to get a room.
-Yes, ma'am.

777
01:10:04,284 --> 01:10:07,286
I'm not that waitress,
if that's what you're thinking.

778
01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:11,415
I didn't think so.

779
01:10:11,666 --> 01:10:16,795
-Single or double?
-A single.

780
01:10:17,630 --> 01:10:21,800
-Smoking or non-smoking?
-Non-smoking.

781
01:10:23,011 --> 01:10:24,887
Sir, can I help you?

782
01:10:41,362 --> 01:10:45,407
-He moved back in.
-She threw me out.

783
01:10:46,326 --> 01:10:48,827
Eight-11 is this way, ma'am.

784
01:10:52,332 --> 01:10:57,210
Sir? If you'll just follow me.

785
01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:41,797
-That was the cop.
-That's the waitress.

786
01:12:00,733 --> 01:12:04,486
Checked your bathroom yet?
There's a robe in it.

787
01:12:04,779 --> 01:12:07,572
-Are you serious?
-Swear to God.

788
01:12:10,076 --> 01:12:15,038
-Well, good night.
-Come in.

789
01:12:15,206 --> 01:12:17,499
Come in.

790
01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:20,335
Thanks.

791
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:29,094
Unbelievable. Your room is exactly like mine,
exactly like mine, except it's a different color.

792
01:12:29,262 --> 01:12:31,138
They really.... I mean....

793
01:12:31,305 --> 01:12:33,974
Hey, would you like some fruit?

794
01:12:35,601 --> 01:12:40,105
You have some in your....
Every room in this hotel probably has fruit.

795
01:12:40,273 --> 01:12:42,274
It's amazing.

796
01:12:42,817 --> 01:12:46,570
-There's really a robe in there?
-Terry cloth.

797
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:51,366
Nice. Really nice.

798
01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:58,790
It's for sale. You can buy it for like
$100 or something. I think it's $100, yeah.

799
01:12:58,958 --> 01:13:00,834
I'll do it.

800
01:13:03,129 --> 01:13:06,131
I'll split it with you. That way we can share it.

801
01:13:06,299 --> 01:13:08,884
You can have it one month,
and I'll take it one month.

802
01:13:09,052 --> 01:13:12,095
Or every other day, or weekends.

803
01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:15,640
-Or we could get two.
-We could do that.

804
01:13:28,029 --> 01:13:31,823
-Why am I so nervous?
-I don't know.

805
01:13:32,533 --> 01:13:38,163
-We've spent so much time together.
-Maybe that's why.

806
01:13:54,347 --> 01:13:56,973
-Hi.
-Hi.

807
01:14:26,587 --> 01:14:28,547
Here we go.

808
01:14:29,549 --> 01:14:31,716
There they are.

809
01:14:43,563 --> 01:14:47,399
-This is unbelievable.
-Make yourselves comfortable, gentlemen.

810
01:14:47,567 --> 01:14:50,694
-I mean, I've seen some offices.
-Walter, please.

811
01:14:50,862 --> 01:14:53,155
Boy, these guys must charge you
an arm and a leg.

812
01:14:53,322 --> 01:14:55,031
Why don't you sit down?

813
01:14:55,199 --> 01:14:56,491
Just the chairs, Charlie.

814
01:14:56,659 --> 01:14:59,578
-Would you like a glass of water?
-Real leather. I thought so.

815
01:15:01,289 --> 01:15:04,749
-Where's Muriel?
-Mrs. Lang just stepped out.

816
01:15:07,753 --> 01:15:10,297
And here she is.

817
01:15:11,799 --> 01:15:17,220
-You had them done.
-Had what done?

818
01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:20,765
-Can we proceed please?
-What did she have done?

819
01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:22,184
What's the mystery?

820
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:24,144
-I'll tell you later.
-I'm your lawyer.

821
01:15:24,312 --> 01:15:27,272
As they say in Hollywood,
let's cut to the chase.

822
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:30,734
It is our contention that there be no division
of the lottery money.

823
01:15:30,902 --> 01:15:32,444
This was Mrs. Lang's ticket.

824
01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:36,281
-That's completely unacceptable.
-It's all right.

825
01:15:37,325 --> 01:15:39,117
-She can have my half.
-What?

826
01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:42,954
Come here.

827
01:15:45,625 --> 01:15:50,170
Are you nuts? Why are you
giving this away without a fight?

828
01:15:50,463 --> 01:15:53,965
She can have my half, period.
I don't wanna discuss it.

829
01:15:54,133 --> 01:15:56,801
Don't wanna discuss it?
You're talking a million dollars.

830
01:15:56,969 --> 01:15:58,637
Walter, please.

831
01:15:58,804 --> 01:16:01,014
You gotta be kidding me.

832
01:16:04,477 --> 01:16:07,812
-We concede the point.
-That's a very mature attitude.

833
01:16:07,980 --> 01:16:10,649
It'll certainly help speed things
right along.

834
01:16:10,816 --> 01:16:15,070
Well, now, as to their pre-lottery holdings...

835
01:16:15,238 --> 01:16:18,657
...we have a bank account here totaling...

836
01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:26,957
...$3611.
I insist we split this 50-50.

837
01:16:29,168 --> 01:16:30,752
Chump change.

838
01:16:31,879 --> 01:16:38,760
Well, that's basically it.
There's furnishings, some good linens.

839
01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:42,013
Not quite accurate, Mr. Zakuto.

840
01:16:42,515 --> 01:16:49,187
We are also attaching the monies
given by Mr. Lang to Miss Biasi.

841
01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:52,190
-What? No.
-That is out of bounds.

842
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:55,944
Mr. Lang volunteered his wife's earnings
from the lottery...

843
01:16:56,112 --> 01:16:58,405
...without her consent
or previous knowledge.

844
01:16:58,698 --> 01:17:03,535
That's horrible, Muriel. For God's sake.
Please, think about what you're doing.

845
01:17:03,703 --> 01:17:06,329
We have every reason to believe
that he and Miss Biasi...

846
01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:08,331
...have had
a long-standing relationship...

847
01:17:08,499 --> 01:17:10,834
...that he deliberately
deceived his wife about.

848
01:17:11,002 --> 01:17:13,211
And toward that end...

849
01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:16,631
-...we have drafted this letter to Miss Biasi...
-Come on!

850
01:17:16,799 --> 01:17:18,800
...demanding that she return the money...

851
01:17:18,968 --> 01:17:22,554
...immediately and in full, or face
substantial penalties and damages.

852
01:17:22,722 --> 01:17:27,225
-I can't believe this.
-I can't listen to this screaming.

853
01:17:27,977 --> 01:17:30,729
-Our whole marriage was like this.
-It was not like this!

854
01:17:30,896 --> 01:17:32,355
Why are you doing this?

855
01:17:32,523 --> 01:17:35,400
Just to get even with Yvonne?
She didn't do anything wrong.

856
01:17:35,609 --> 01:17:40,947
I am tired of this physical abuse from you.
Did you see that?

857
01:17:43,784 --> 01:17:47,329
If you fellows need a cab,
my secretary will call one.

858
01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:53,668
How am I going to say this to Yvonne?
How am I gonna tell her?

859
01:17:53,836 --> 01:18:00,091
Charlie, you're not gonna like this, but you're
gonna have to stop seeing her for a while.

860
01:18:04,263 --> 01:18:06,681
Hi. This is Yvonne Biasi.
I'm not at home right now.

861
01:18:06,849 --> 01:18:10,101
Please leave a message
after the beep. Thanks so much.

862
01:18:11,771 --> 01:18:15,315
Yvonne, I just wanted to say
I'm thinking about you.

863
01:18:15,483 --> 01:18:20,445
And we're gonna win this thing, because it's right.
Don't think any of this is your fault. It isn't.

864
01:18:20,613 --> 01:18:26,576
If you need me, I'll be at Bo's, 555-3840.
I guess I'll see you in court.

865
01:18:27,453 --> 01:18:30,163
Well, I hope you don't mind
sleeping on the floor.

866
01:18:30,331 --> 01:18:31,623
Oh, no, thank you.

867
01:18:31,791 --> 01:18:33,958
There's beer in the fridge,
and the TV's there.

868
01:18:34,126 --> 01:18:37,087
Sure is nice of you to let me
use your Barney blanket, Tracey.

869
01:18:37,254 --> 01:18:38,963
That's okay.

870
01:18:39,673 --> 01:18:42,842
-Good night.
-Good night, Gail. I'm sorry.

871
01:18:43,010 --> 01:18:45,261
Don't worry about it, man.

872
01:18:46,222 --> 01:18:48,264
Thanks.

873
01:19:02,822 --> 01:19:05,990
"The trial, which has attracted
citywide interest...

874
01:19:06,158 --> 01:19:09,702
...begins in civil court this morning
at 9:30."

875
01:19:09,870 --> 01:19:12,580
-This whole thing is unbelievable.
-My money's on Yvonne.

876
01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:15,166
God, I hope so.

877
01:19:15,835 --> 01:19:19,963
Now, Mrs. Lang, what are
the numbers for your birthday?

878
01:19:20,131 --> 01:19:22,006
Twelve, 16, 64.

879
01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:26,845
Twelve, 16, 64.

880
01:19:27,012 --> 01:19:32,851
And the numbers for
your anniversary, my dear?

881
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:38,440
Six, 26, 84.

882
01:19:39,358 --> 01:19:42,026
Six, 26....

883
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:45,864
Did I hear 26?

884
01:19:47,199 --> 01:19:49,033
Twenty-six?

885
01:19:49,201 --> 01:19:53,830
As a matter of fact, Mrs. Lang,
weren't you married on the 27th?

886
01:19:55,374 --> 01:19:59,878
-Yes.
-So your husband picked the 26 on his own?

887
01:20:00,045 --> 01:20:05,258
-Objection. What's the point?
-The point is, counselor...

888
01:20:05,426 --> 01:20:08,970
...the point is, Your Honor,
I am demonstrating...

889
01:20:09,138 --> 01:20:14,642
...that Mr. Lang is responsible
for the winning ticket.

890
01:20:15,060 --> 01:20:16,394
Overruled.

891
01:20:18,397 --> 01:20:24,944
So, Mrs. Lang, your husband
picked the 26th on his own, correct?

892
01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:28,156
-No.
-No?

893
01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:33,745
Mrs. Lang, there was you,
there was your husband.

894
01:20:33,996 --> 01:20:38,583
Could you kindly tell us
who else was there that morning?

895
01:20:44,757 --> 01:20:46,758
My dead father.

896
01:20:51,347 --> 01:20:56,518
-Excuse me?
-My dead father, God rest his soul.

897
01:20:56,685 --> 01:20:57,936
Quiet, please.

898
01:20:58,103 --> 01:21:03,775
He came to me in a dream. "Baby,"
he says, as he was floating out the window.

899
01:21:03,943 --> 01:21:06,861
You know, he had these big wings, you know,
like angel wings.

900
01:21:07,029 --> 01:21:10,782
Oh, my God. They were
the perfect color of white leather.

901
01:21:10,950 --> 01:21:13,952
Anyway, he says,
"Baby, it's time to go to the church.

902
01:21:14,119 --> 01:21:16,454
You gotta hurry up
or you're gonna be late."

903
01:21:16,622 --> 01:21:22,210
To my shock and surprise, I'm standing there
in my wedding gown.

904
01:21:22,378 --> 01:21:25,171
So I was running down Queen's Boulevard,
through Flatbush.

905
01:21:25,339 --> 01:21:28,508
Even though Queen's Boulevard doesn't run
through Flatbush.

906
01:21:28,676 --> 01:21:33,304
I came to the church:
St. Catherine's of the Holy Lotto.

907
01:21:34,098 --> 01:21:39,644
And then I realized I wasn't late,
I was a whole day early.

908
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:42,647
God, I wanted to die.

909
01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:47,151
Then my father, you know, he was there,
he was standing right next to me.

910
01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:51,030
And he says,
"Little girl, don't cry.

911
01:21:51,198 --> 01:21:58,037
Because to me, your anniversary
will always be on the 26th."

912
01:22:08,841 --> 01:22:10,842
Mr. Lang.

913
01:22:12,011 --> 01:22:16,431
Have you ever purchased
nail-polish remover for your wife?

914
01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:19,642
Quiet, please.

915
01:22:22,229 --> 01:22:24,689
Nail-polish remover?

916
01:22:26,525 --> 01:22:29,193
-A couple of times, I guess.
-And you paid for it?

917
01:22:29,361 --> 01:22:33,865
-Sure.
-Did you therefore consider it yours?

918
01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:36,868
No, I guess I didn't.

919
01:22:39,371 --> 01:22:43,541
Isn’t it true that you forced your wife
to split the ticket with Miss Biasi?

920
01:22:43,709 --> 01:22:45,918
I only said
we should do the right thing.

921
01:22:47,046 --> 01:22:52,425
-Mr. Lang, were you wearing a gun at the time?
-No. Of course not.

922
01:22:53,260 --> 01:22:57,221
-You hit her, didn't you, Mr. Lang?
-I never, ever--

923
01:22:57,389 --> 01:22:59,974
You are under oath, Mr. Lang.

924
01:23:02,936 --> 01:23:07,231
-Okay, once I grabbed her arm--
-No further questions.

925
01:23:13,238 --> 01:23:16,074
Your witness, counselor.

926
01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:25,500
Miss Biasi. Would you describe
your financial circumstances...

927
01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:29,587
...before Mr. Lang was kind enough
to offer you half his wife's winning ticket?

928
01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:33,091
I was struggling to make ends meet.

929
01:23:33,258 --> 01:23:37,762
Isn’t it a fact you owed $12,000
on your MasterCard?

930
01:23:38,097 --> 01:23:41,474
-That's because my ex-husband--
-Just answer yes or no.

931
01:23:43,644 --> 01:23:48,147
Technically, yes. But that's not because
I had overspent.

932
01:23:48,315 --> 01:23:51,025
And isn't it also a fact
that you filed for bankruptcy...

933
01:23:51,193 --> 01:23:53,945
...on the very day Mr. Lang
offered to split the ticket?

934
01:23:55,447 --> 01:24:00,660
Yes. But that was just fate.

935
01:24:00,828 --> 01:24:05,039
-Right, fate.
-Yes. Really.

936
01:24:05,207 --> 01:24:07,458
Let me ask you,
what was your relationship...

937
01:24:07,626 --> 01:24:11,170
...with Mr. Lang at the time he offered
to share his wife's ticket with you?

938
01:24:11,338 --> 01:24:15,633
-I'd never met him before.
-Really?

939
01:24:15,843 --> 01:24:18,636
Yes, really.

940
01:24:18,887 --> 01:24:22,724
Describe your relationship
with Mr. Lang today.

941
01:24:27,771 --> 01:24:30,189
I love him more than
anything in the world.

942
01:24:31,984 --> 01:24:34,652
Which is why you went running off
to the Plaza with him...

943
01:24:34,820 --> 01:24:36,821
...on the day he separated from his wife.

944
01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:40,992
-Objection. What is the relevancy of this?
-Motivation.

945
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:42,702
What motivation?

946
01:24:42,870 --> 01:24:48,207
Mrs. Lang had thrown Mr. Lang out of the house,
the marriage was in complete disarray.

947
01:24:48,375 --> 01:24:50,543
-Overruled.
-If you're implying what I think--

948
01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:51,794
Miss Biasi.

949
01:24:51,962 --> 01:24:54,922
They're trying to make me into
a gold digger. Him, the media.

950
01:24:55,090 --> 01:24:57,383
Miss Biasi. Control yourself, please.

951
01:24:57,551 --> 01:25:02,513
I've worked my whole life. And finally
something wonderful happened to me.

952
01:25:02,681 --> 01:25:07,518
I met a man who was intelligent
and kind and full of compassion.

953
01:25:07,686 --> 01:25:11,355
Just the experience of knowing him has
changed my life. It's not the money.

954
01:25:11,523 --> 01:25:16,027
It's because he made me believe again
people were fundamentally decent.

955
01:25:16,195 --> 01:25:20,281
I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some lawyer
make our relationship look ugly.

956
01:25:20,532 --> 01:25:22,200
Are you divorced?

957
01:25:24,369 --> 01:25:25,870
No.

958
01:25:26,038 --> 01:25:29,040
You're married to one man,
and you're in love with another.

959
01:25:29,291 --> 01:25:34,462
-It's only because I couldn't afford to get divorced.
-Well, that's convenient.

960
01:25:36,465 --> 01:25:42,053
In dramatic testimony, Yvonne Biasi
was depicted by Muriel Lang's attorney...

961
01:25:42,221 --> 01:25:47,391
...as a gold-digger and nymphomaniac.
A verdict was expected by this evening.

962
01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:53,773
-Has the jury reached a verdict?
-We have, Your Honor.

963
01:26:08,747 --> 01:26:11,582
What say you?

964
01:26:11,834 --> 01:26:17,088
We rule in favor of the plaintiff,
Mrs. Muriel Lang, on all counts.

965
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:22,510
The court would like to thank
the jury for its service in this difficult case.

966
01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:25,429
Court is dismissed.

967
01:26:47,953 --> 01:26:51,289
-About the reports of Yvonne's adultery--
-Shut up about her.

968
01:26:51,456 --> 01:26:53,207
She's down there.

969
01:26:55,502 --> 01:26:57,628
Yvonne!

970
01:27:06,179 --> 01:27:08,306
Yvonne!

971
01:27:10,809 --> 01:27:13,686
-Mrs. Lang? Your reaction to the verdict?
-Justice was done.

972
01:27:13,854 --> 01:27:16,522
Don't you believe that the good deeds
of your husband--?

973
01:27:16,690 --> 01:27:20,526
This is not a press conference.
The verdict is in. We're happy, that's all.

974
01:27:20,694 --> 01:27:21,736
Very happy.

975
01:29:16,476 --> 01:29:18,853
I don't even know where she is.

976
01:29:21,440 --> 01:29:26,027
Look, you'll be a cop again.
It's what you love.

977
01:29:27,446 --> 01:29:29,280
I'll be all right.

978
01:29:30,866 --> 01:29:32,742
I'll be all right.

979
01:30:10,489 --> 01:30:12,448
Hello?

980
01:30:15,243 --> 01:30:17,161
Is anyone here?

981
01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:20,664
Go away.

982
01:30:21,666 --> 01:30:23,167
Yvonne.

983
01:30:23,335 --> 01:30:27,838
-No. You don't wanna be with me.
-What are you talking about?

984
01:30:31,009 --> 01:30:35,596
-I love you.
-No. Don't you get it?

985
01:30:35,847 --> 01:30:37,181
I've ruined your life.

986
01:30:37,349 --> 01:30:42,853
Are you crazy? These past couple of days,
I felt like half of me was missing.

987
01:30:43,230 --> 01:30:49,693
You won $4 million in the lottery.
Do you know what an amazing gift that is?

988
01:30:49,861 --> 01:30:53,030
And because of me you have nothing.

989
01:30:53,198 --> 01:30:57,952
Because of you, I have you.
Why can't you understand that?

990
01:30:59,788 --> 01:31:01,914
If you don't want me, that's different.

991
01:31:02,082 --> 01:31:06,377
If you don't want me, I'll walk right out
that door, and you'll never see me again.

992
01:31:06,545 --> 01:31:12,550
But please stop talking about the money.
It means nothing to me.

993
01:31:19,975 --> 01:31:21,100
Do you want me to go?

994
01:31:27,274 --> 01:31:29,024
No.

995
01:31:33,238 --> 01:31:34,238
Never.

996
01:31:37,075 --> 01:31:38,576
Never, never.

997
01:31:44,583 --> 01:31:47,626
You have to excuse me sometimes,
it's just...

998
01:31:48,336 --> 01:31:51,380
...nobody ever loved me before.

999
01:32:25,123 --> 01:32:30,044
-I guess he wants some food.
-Shall we invite him in?

1000
01:32:32,005 --> 01:32:33,339
Why not?

1001
01:32:56,154 --> 01:32:58,530
We should leave New York.

1002
01:33:01,034 --> 01:33:03,535
I mean, we're like freaks here.

1003
01:33:06,873 --> 01:33:10,960
I've got a cousin that lives in Buffalo.

1004
01:33:11,127 --> 01:33:13,504
He keeps asking me to visit.

1005
01:33:14,506 --> 01:33:17,132
Maybe we can stay there for a while.

1006
01:33:17,968 --> 01:33:20,594
I could join the Buffalo force.

1007
01:33:23,848 --> 01:33:26,976
I could be a Buffalo waitress.

1008
01:33:43,660 --> 01:33:48,789
Tonight I, Angel Dupree, a photographer
for the New York Post for 10 years...

1009
01:33:48,957 --> 01:33:55,045
...had the opportunity to study grace and
generosity under the direst of circumstances.

1010
01:34:00,969 --> 01:34:06,056
Even in their darkest hour, the stalwart
Officer Lang and the good-hearted Miss Biasi...

1011
01:34:06,224 --> 01:34:08,851
...shared a bowl of soup with me.

1012
01:34:09,894 --> 01:34:14,148
When I left, this Good Samaritan
gave me money from his own pocket...

1013
01:34:14,357 --> 01:34:16,984
...wishing it could be more.

1014
01:34:17,152 --> 01:34:22,573
-"Mail it to Yvonne's Coffee Shop."
-It's a good idea.

1015
01:34:22,741 --> 01:34:24,074
It's a great idea.

1016
01:34:32,250 --> 01:34:34,626
I just want to make one stop.

1017
01:34:39,841 --> 01:34:43,427
-Sweetie.
-I'm okay, I'm okay.

1018
01:34:43,678 --> 01:34:48,140
-I knew this was a bad idea.
-No, I just wanted to see it again.

1019
01:34:48,308 --> 01:34:50,434
Why is the gate open?

1020
01:34:51,895 --> 01:34:56,607
I don't know.
Well, Carol has a key.

1021
01:34:57,400 --> 01:34:59,610
The door's stuck.

1022
01:35:08,036 --> 01:35:11,997
-What is this?
-It must be some kind of a mistake.

1023
01:35:12,165 --> 01:35:16,794
-"The Good Samaritan's Fund."
-"Lotto Lovers."

1024
01:35:16,961 --> 01:35:19,296
"Yvonne's Coffee Shop."

1025
01:35:22,884 --> 01:35:26,804
-It's 5 dollars.
-Oh, come on. No.

1026
01:35:26,971 --> 01:35:32,976
"There should be more people in the world
like you. Ethel from Staten Island."

1027
01:35:36,314 --> 01:35:38,524
Here's a check for 10.

1028
01:35:43,321 --> 01:35:48,325
This is all for us. Oh, Charlie.

1029
01:36:22,861 --> 01:36:26,613
"You are an example to all of us.
Betty and Phil, the Bronx."

1030
01:36:27,782 --> 01:36:33,537
"We are hoping you will have a wonderful future.
The Garcias, Long Island City."

1031
01:36:46,384 --> 01:36:50,220
It took Charlie and Yvonne
three days to open all their mail.

1032
01:36:50,388 --> 01:36:56,059
And when they were done, New York
had given them a $600,000 tip.

1033
01:36:59,022 --> 01:37:01,899
Charlie happily went back to the force.

1034
01:37:07,405 --> 01:37:10,282
Yvonne got her coffee shop back.

1035
01:37:12,660 --> 01:37:15,871
Eddie could only get work
driving a cab.

1036
01:37:17,582 --> 01:37:21,251
And Muriel.
She married Jack Gross...

1037
01:37:21,419 --> 01:37:25,255
...who cleaned out their checking account
and fled the country.

1038
01:37:25,423 --> 01:37:30,761
Muriel lives in the Bronx with her mother now
and works in a nail salon.

1039
01:37:34,098 --> 01:37:37,768
Charlie, Muriel and Yvonne
all lived in a city...

1040
01:37:37,936 --> 01:37:41,936
...where people prayed for miracles every day.
And sometimes they happened.

1040
01:37:42,305 --> 01:37:48,931
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