1 00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:56,176 W-O... 2 00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:58,178 R... 3 00:00:58,262 --> 00:01:00,180 K! 4 00:01:00,264 --> 00:01:02,265 Work. 5 00:01:02,974 --> 00:01:07,312 Today we're going to share what our parents do for... 6 00:01:07,395 --> 00:01:10,356 Work! 7 00:01:10,398 --> 00:01:12,567 My mommy is a doctor. 8 00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:16,028 My daddy is a truck driver. - My mom's a teacher. 9 00:01:16,111 --> 00:01:20,907 And your dad? - Mmm. My dad- 10 00:01:20,991 --> 00:01:24,661 He's... a liar. 11 00:01:24,703 --> 00:01:29,582 A- A liar? Oh, I'm sure you don't mean a liar. 12 00:01:29,666 --> 00:01:33,461 Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge. 13 00:01:33,502 --> 00:01:35,880 Oh! I see. 14 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,257 You mean he's a lawyer. 15 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,723 Hey, Fletcher. How'd it go? 16 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:49,851 Just another victory for the wrongly accused. - Yeah, right. 17 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:52,853 Mr. Reede, great job. Do you want your coat back? 18 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,397 No, I'm sure you'll be needing it again and again. 19 00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:59,026 Do you have a moment? - I'm late. It's my day to be with my son. 20 00:01:59,109 --> 00:02:02,029 A couple of reporters want to talk about your big win. 21 00:02:02,112 --> 00:02:04,155 Yeah? How's my hair? 22 00:02:04,197 --> 00:02:06,157 Fabulous. You look great. 23 00:02:21,463 --> 00:02:26,468 What time is it? - I am sure your dad just got held up in court again. 24 00:02:33,224 --> 00:02:36,977 Dad! - Maximilian! 25 00:02:40,439 --> 00:02:43,650 Hey, how ya doin', creep? 26 00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:45,694 Good. 27 00:02:45,735 --> 00:02:50,323 Me too, except my arm has been botherin' me. 28 00:02:50,406 --> 00:02:52,700 Oh, no, Dad! - Oh, yeah. 29 00:02:52,742 --> 00:02:55,661 It's becoming a claw! 30 00:02:58,705 --> 00:03:02,292 Nothing can stop the claw! 31 00:03:05,128 --> 00:03:09,507 Run, boy, run! Save yourself! 32 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,093 Do the claw to Mom! Do the claw to Mom! 33 00:03:12,176 --> 00:03:15,763 Uh-oh. You found the claw's only weakness. 34 00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:18,807 Subzero temperatures! 35 00:03:18,891 --> 00:03:22,519 So, did you have any trouble finding the place? 36 00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:26,147 Okay, I'm late. I'm sorry. I ran out of gas. 37 00:03:26,231 --> 00:03:30,526 The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too. 38 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,695 Good thing I was wearin' neutral gang colors. 39 00:03:32,778 --> 00:03:35,406 I might have had to pull out my nine and bust a cap. 40 00:03:35,447 --> 00:03:37,700 My mind and my money and my money and my mind 41 00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:41,620 They would never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer. 42 00:03:41,703 --> 00:03:45,040 That was below the belt. Keep the gloves up. 43 00:03:45,123 --> 00:03:48,042 Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling! 44 00:03:48,126 --> 00:03:51,003 Oh, Fletcher! - Oh, Audrey! 45 00:03:51,087 --> 00:03:54,006 Why do you have to take him to see that stuff? It's very violent. 46 00:03:54,090 --> 00:03:58,677 The boy must grow to be a warrior. 47 00:03:58,761 --> 00:04:00,721 Who better to guide him than Rick Rude... 48 00:04:00,804 --> 00:04:04,224 and Randy Macho-man Savage in the cage of death? 49 00:04:06,476 --> 00:04:08,519 Oh, good! 50 00:04:08,603 --> 00:04:12,315 Jerry, how's it goin'? - Hey, gipper! 51 00:04:12,356 --> 00:04:14,733 You look like you grow by the minute! 52 00:04:14,817 --> 00:04:17,653 Fletcher, pleasure to see you. Hi, honey! 53 00:04:17,736 --> 00:04:20,155 Hi. 54 00:04:20,239 --> 00:04:23,992 Wow. That was a nice image. Deleted. 55 00:04:25,577 --> 00:04:27,912 I have some more boxes for you. - Oh, you're an angel. 56 00:04:27,996 --> 00:04:32,833 Boxes? - Remember, I told you a few weeks ago, Jerry's moving to Boston. 57 00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:37,421 Oh, right! The job, the thing. What do you do again? 58 00:04:37,504 --> 00:04:40,924 Hospital administrator. - Right, right! 59 00:04:41,008 --> 00:04:42,926 Well, the boxes are in my car. 60 00:04:43,009 --> 00:04:44,928 Oh, those can wait. 61 00:04:45,011 --> 00:04:47,972 I made this young man a promise, didn't I? 62 00:04:48,014 --> 00:04:50,058 Got time to throw a few? - Sure! 63 00:04:50,141 --> 00:04:52,643 Come on, then! 64 00:04:52,685 --> 00:04:55,146 I forgot the boyfriend was moving. - Jerry! 65 00:04:55,187 --> 00:04:58,357 His name is Jerry! And yes, he's moving. 66 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,860 I'm sorry. I hated him less than your other boyfriends. 67 00:05:01,943 --> 00:05:04,738 It wasn't serious, was it? - Semiserious, yes. 68 00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:08,575 You guys aren't- You know- 69 00:05:11,202 --> 00:05:14,080 I have been dating him for seven months. 70 00:05:14,163 --> 00:05:16,874 What do you think? - Really? Ooh! 71 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:19,960 I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no strength left. 72 00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:24,047 Remember, when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were. 73 00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:28,635 Ouch! And the ref takes a point away. 74 00:05:28,718 --> 00:05:33,055 Out! - Max is gonna miss him. 75 00:05:33,139 --> 00:05:35,099 I'll be here. 76 00:05:35,182 --> 00:05:39,103 Ready? Yeah! Play ball. 77 00:05:39,186 --> 00:05:42,314 Max, come on. We've gotta go. 78 00:05:42,397 --> 00:05:46,359 Dad, are we really going to wrestling? - Absolutely, Max Factor. 79 00:05:46,401 --> 00:05:48,736 We just have to stop by the office for one minute. 80 00:05:48,778 --> 00:05:50,822 Excuse me, sir. Any spare change? 81 00:05:50,905 --> 00:05:52,907 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all out. 82 00:05:52,949 --> 00:05:55,034 I can't do it. 83 00:05:55,075 --> 00:05:58,996 Fred, it's your duty to present the strongest case possible. 84 00:05:59,079 --> 00:06:01,998 The strongest case possible consistent with the truth. 85 00:06:02,082 --> 00:06:04,084 Will you let the judge decide what's true? 86 00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:07,921 That's what he gets paid for. You get paid to win. 87 00:06:07,962 --> 00:06:10,298 If you insist that I take it to trial, 88 00:06:10,381 --> 00:06:14,093 I will represent Mrs. Cole aggressively and ethically. 89 00:06:14,176 --> 00:06:16,345 But Miranda, I won't lie. 90 00:06:18,389 --> 00:06:21,475 Then we'll just have to find someone who will. 91 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,937 Twenty-first floor. Men's wear. 92 00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:32,610 Hi, Mr. Reede! - Whoa! 93 00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:36,780 Hey. Did you do something to your hair? 94 00:06:36,822 --> 00:06:38,657 It's a bit extreme, isn't it? 95 00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:42,452 No! That's the thing nowadays, right? 96 00:06:42,494 --> 00:06:45,955 He said it would accent my facial features. - That's what it does! 97 00:06:45,997 --> 00:06:48,791 It completely accents your facial features. 98 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:53,254 We're just gonna go to my office- 99 00:06:55,131 --> 00:06:57,716 Hey, Fletcher. - Hey, Pete. 100 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,219 You losin' a little weight? - I don't know. Maybe. 101 00:07:00,302 --> 00:07:02,804 Looks and personality. A double-threat guy. 102 00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:05,307 Hey, Mr. Reede. - Hey... man. 103 00:07:05,348 --> 00:07:07,433 It's, uh, Randy. - Yeah, I know. 104 00:07:07,475 --> 00:07:10,561 Takin' lunch orders. Anything? 105 00:07:10,645 --> 00:07:12,688 No, thanks. 106 00:07:12,772 --> 00:07:16,191 I had so much for breakfast, I'm ready to pop. 107 00:07:16,275 --> 00:07:20,529 I mean, I'm full. - Okay. Great. 108 00:07:24,616 --> 00:07:27,452 Max! - Hi, Greta. 109 00:07:27,494 --> 00:07:32,248 Hey, what's new? - It's my birthday tomorrow, and we're having a party. 110 00:07:32,331 --> 00:07:35,668 Wow! I am sure your daddy has got you something wonderful. 111 00:07:35,751 --> 00:07:41,340 Yeah? - Yeah, you bet! Listen, kiddo. 112 00:07:41,423 --> 00:07:45,760 Why don't you play in my office for a minute. Sue somebody for everything they've got. 113 00:07:45,844 --> 00:07:50,098 Maybe you can send a fax to one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry. 114 00:07:50,181 --> 00:07:54,060 Damn it! I completely forgot. 115 00:07:54,143 --> 00:07:56,103 Oh, what a surprise. 116 00:07:56,186 --> 00:07:58,856 You are a saint. I should buy you a gift. 117 00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:02,943 You did. - I always do the classy thing. Any calls? 118 00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:06,029 The Drawlings' clerk needs your filing. - Tell him it's in the mail. 119 00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:11,033 Right. You'll do it next week. Mr. McKinley phoned to confirm your meeting tomorrow. 120 00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:14,161 Strep throat. Some kind of virus. What's goin' around? 121 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:16,330 Asian flu? - Good one. 122 00:08:16,372 --> 00:08:19,041 And your mother called. - I'm on vacation. 123 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,543 It's your fifth week. - Snowed in. Phones are down. 124 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:24,045 Break mother's heart. Done. That's it. 125 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,090 Except Miranda's looking for you. 126 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:31,719 How much ass do I have to kiss to make partner? 127 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:36,390 Tell her I broke my leg and I had to be shot. - Tell her yourself. 128 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:40,560 And then send out a notice of judgement on my win today! 129 00:08:40,602 --> 00:08:45,899 I'll get right on it. - Miranda! Hey, I didn't see you. 130 00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:48,401 You look beautiful today. 131 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:51,028 Here! I bought you a gift. 132 00:08:51,070 --> 00:08:54,949 Oh, thanks. I heard about your victory. Congratulations. 133 00:08:55,032 --> 00:08:58,577 You're making quite an impression on the partnership committee. 134 00:08:59,786 --> 00:09:03,206 That's right! You folks are meetin' soon. 135 00:09:03,248 --> 00:09:05,583 I've been so busy, I haven't even thought about it. 136 00:09:09,045 --> 00:09:11,672 Anyway. I have a client in my office. 137 00:09:11,756 --> 00:09:16,760 Better not keep him waiting. - Actually, something rather important's just come up. 138 00:09:16,802 --> 00:09:20,013 Um, you're not busy tonight, are you? 139 00:09:27,145 --> 00:09:29,314 We're not going, are we? 140 00:09:43,243 --> 00:09:47,163 Audrey. You know how there are moments you know are critical? 141 00:09:47,247 --> 00:09:50,291 Mm-hmm. - And choices that have to be made... 142 00:09:50,374 --> 00:09:53,794 upon which all one's future happiness will depend? 143 00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:55,838 This is one of those moments. 144 00:09:57,673 --> 00:10:01,259 What are you trying to say? 145 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,762 Will you marry me? 146 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:11,435 You're moving. - I know, but l want you and Max to come with me. 147 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:13,646 Audrey, I've been giving this a lot of thought. 148 00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:16,649 You know I'm not prone to wild flights of romantic fancy. 149 00:10:16,732 --> 00:10:21,111 But the thought of you and I together just makes sense. 150 00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:24,030 Now I'm ready. I think you're ready. I love Max. 151 00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:26,408 You love Max. It's right. It fits. 152 00:10:27,617 --> 00:10:30,078 So what do you say? 153 00:10:47,343 --> 00:10:50,847 Hey, creepy. Happy birthday. 154 00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:52,848 How old are you now, 22 or 23? 155 00:10:52,932 --> 00:10:56,393 I'm five, Dad. - Okay. 156 00:10:56,477 --> 00:10:59,062 Return the beer keg. 157 00:10:59,146 --> 00:11:02,274 Cancel the dancing girls. 158 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:05,318 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 159 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,946 I feel completely unprepared for this. 160 00:11:08,029 --> 00:11:10,865 You see, I bought you a present, but last night... 161 00:11:10,907 --> 00:11:14,201 I accidentally swallowed it. 162 00:11:14,285 --> 00:11:16,996 Dad, it's in your belly! - Scalpel. 163 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,040 I hope it's not partially digested! 164 00:11:20,082 --> 00:11:22,584 Ooh! Look out! 165 00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:25,337 Cool! What is it? - Cool! 166 00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:29,090 It's- lt's a surprise. 167 00:11:29,173 --> 00:11:31,092 All right, it's a pony. Just open it! 168 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:35,888 I'm gonna help, 'cause I can't stand it! 169 00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:40,767 Baseball stuff! - Baseball stuff! 170 00:11:40,851 --> 00:11:43,562 Cool! Can we play? 171 00:11:43,645 --> 00:11:47,357 I'll be Nomo. You can be Jose Canseco. Can we play? 172 00:11:47,398 --> 00:11:49,901 Absolutely. - Yeah! 173 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:53,863 Right after your party tonight, we'll do it. 174 00:11:53,904 --> 00:11:56,574 You and me. 175 00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:59,952 I just have to really concentrate on this right now. 176 00:12:22,931 --> 00:12:25,433 Hi! 177 00:12:25,517 --> 00:12:28,686 Hey! Happy birthday. 178 00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:32,440 Thanks, Mom. - Happy birthday, Max! 179 00:12:32,481 --> 00:12:37,236 One, two, three, four, five. And one for good luck! 180 00:12:37,277 --> 00:12:39,321 He struck the child. Did you see that? 181 00:12:39,404 --> 00:12:42,949 Look at what Dad got me! - Whoa! Great! 182 00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:45,994 Hey, I have my glove in the car. 183 00:12:46,077 --> 00:12:49,455 Maybe we can stop at the park on the way home and play catch. 184 00:12:49,497 --> 00:12:53,042 Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it. 185 00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:55,878 It'll be great. Hey, great gift, Dad! 186 00:12:55,961 --> 00:13:00,215 Thanks, son. I'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. 187 00:13:00,299 --> 00:13:03,301 My plan to phase myself out is almost complete. 188 00:13:04,636 --> 00:13:06,805 Something's come up, and we need to talk. 189 00:13:06,846 --> 00:13:09,140 Come on, Mom. I want to go play! 190 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:12,351 And actually it's kind of important, so maybe we could talk tonight? 191 00:13:12,435 --> 00:13:14,520 Tonight? - Yes. 192 00:13:14,603 --> 00:13:17,648 Max's birthday party. - Oh! Yeah. 193 00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:20,192 Sure. Of course. We'll talk then. Great! 194 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,613 Maximus! I'm outta here. - Bye, Dad. 195 00:13:25,655 --> 00:13:28,074 Jerry, enjoy my wife. 196 00:13:44,005 --> 00:13:46,549 Well, this is good. 197 00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:49,010 This is really smart. 198 00:13:49,052 --> 00:13:51,012 Thank you. - Only- 199 00:13:51,053 --> 00:13:55,599 Well, it's not true. Does that present a problem? 200 00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:59,186 Mrs. Cole, the only problem here... 201 00:13:59,269 --> 00:14:03,023 is that after you've provided years of faithful service and loving support, 202 00:14:03,064 --> 00:14:05,275 of raising his children- they are his? 203 00:14:05,358 --> 00:14:09,570 Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah. One for sure. 204 00:14:11,113 --> 00:14:13,532 After all that, your husband wants to deny you... 205 00:14:13,574 --> 00:14:17,953 a fair share of the assets based on one act of indiscretion. - Seven. 206 00:14:18,037 --> 00:14:22,165 Pardon me? - Seven single acts of indiscretion. 207 00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:25,293 Seven acts of indiscretion, 208 00:14:25,377 --> 00:14:27,670 only one of which he has any evidence of... 209 00:14:27,712 --> 00:14:31,299 and all of which he himself is responsible for. 210 00:14:31,382 --> 00:14:34,635 He is? - Mrs. Cole. 211 00:14:34,718 --> 00:14:38,555 You're the victim here. The wife of a cold, distant workaholic. 212 00:14:38,597 --> 00:14:41,266 Starved for affection, driven into the arms of another man! 213 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,310 Seven. - Yeah, whatever! 214 00:14:43,393 --> 00:14:45,562 You're not trying to deny him what is rightfully his. 215 00:14:45,645 --> 00:14:49,107 All you're insisting on is what is rightfully yours. - Yeah. 216 00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:52,193 And maybe a... fraction more. 217 00:14:52,235 --> 00:14:54,737 I think you're bending over backwards. 218 00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:59,700 Yeah. I did offer to give him joint custody of the kids. 219 00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:02,911 He is, after all, a wonderful father. 220 00:15:02,953 --> 00:15:06,164 And how does he repay you? 221 00:15:06,247 --> 00:15:08,583 By dragging you through a painful litigation process! 222 00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:12,253 No, no, no, no! This can't happen! 223 00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:16,048 With all due respect, this isn't about you and Mr. Cole anymore. 224 00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:18,092 This is about all women. 225 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:21,595 Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, 226 00:15:21,636 --> 00:15:24,931 Hit me again, lke, and put some stank on it? 227 00:15:24,973 --> 00:15:27,142 Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be. 228 00:15:27,225 --> 00:15:31,270 But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message. 229 00:15:31,312 --> 00:15:36,233 Wake up, sisters! There's no-o-o-o-o-o... 230 00:15:36,275 --> 00:15:39,945 such thing as a weaker sex! 231 00:15:39,987 --> 00:15:43,532 You know what? 232 00:15:43,615 --> 00:15:48,286 You're right, Mr. Reede. I am tired of getting kicked around! 233 00:15:48,328 --> 00:15:50,955 Good for you! 234 00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:55,167 Thank you. I am so grateful... 235 00:15:55,251 --> 00:15:58,170 to have an attorney I can trust. 236 00:16:04,926 --> 00:16:06,845 Oh, you are good. 237 00:16:06,928 --> 00:16:11,682 You are very, very good. 238 00:16:11,766 --> 00:16:15,728 The Cole case is worth a truckload of money to this firm. 239 00:16:15,811 --> 00:16:19,064 If you win, I guarantee you'll make partner. 240 00:16:21,858 --> 00:16:25,987 In fact, how would you like to make... 241 00:16:26,029 --> 00:16:28,531 a partner right now, hmm? 242 00:16:28,615 --> 00:16:32,159 Oh, I don't know. I should- 243 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,335 Happy, happy, happy happy, happy, happy 244 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:46,047 Happy I'm so happy today 245 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:49,509 I live in the U. S. A. - So honey? 246 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:52,011 Have you, uh, thought about- 247 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:56,849 You know, what we talked about? - Uh, yeah. I can't go. 248 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,851 What? Wh-Why not? 249 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:02,437 Because of Max. - But he'll love it there. 250 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,564 I'm gonna take him to Fenway Park. 251 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,608 There's hiking and camping- 252 00:17:06,691 --> 00:17:10,528 Well, really, it's... Fletcher. 253 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:13,364 Fletcher? Come on, honey. 254 00:17:13,447 --> 00:17:15,699 He wouldn't even come over unless you reminded him. 255 00:17:15,741 --> 00:17:18,368 I know, but when he does come over, Max is so happy. 256 00:17:18,452 --> 00:17:20,912 It's like they have their own little world together. 257 00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:24,874 The gipper and I have that too! - I know, but it's different. 258 00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:27,585 How? - Well- 259 00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,588 He does the claw. 260 00:17:30,671 --> 00:17:33,591 The what? - The claw. 261 00:17:33,674 --> 00:17:36,719 You know, it's like this- 262 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,012 I don't- 263 00:17:39,054 --> 00:17:43,892 Run for you life. It's the claw! The claw! 264 00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:51,065 I can't really do it that good. That's not the point. 265 00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:53,401 The point is... 266 00:17:53,484 --> 00:17:55,945 if they're 3, 000 miles apart, they're never gonna see each other. 267 00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:57,946 Fletcher's never gonna come to Boston. 268 00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:01,575 Hello. 269 00:18:01,616 --> 00:18:04,661 Audrey? - Fletcher! Where are you? 270 00:18:04,744 --> 00:18:07,080 We're waiting. Max won't cut the cake until you get here. 271 00:18:07,121 --> 00:18:10,083 Um- Oh, man! 272 00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:12,668 Actually, something has come up. I've- 273 00:18:12,752 --> 00:18:14,920 I've got this problem on a new case. 274 00:18:14,962 --> 00:18:16,922 What happened? - Nothing! 275 00:18:16,964 --> 00:18:19,258 I stubbed my toe on the desk! 276 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:23,178 I'm really sorry, but I just can't make it. 277 00:18:23,261 --> 00:18:26,598 The boss is, uh, really ridin' me. 278 00:18:26,681 --> 00:18:29,309 Fletcher, it's his birthday! 279 00:18:29,392 --> 00:18:31,310 I know, l know. 280 00:18:31,394 --> 00:18:34,980 I'll make it up to him, I promise. I'll pick him up from school tomorrow, okay? 281 00:18:35,064 --> 00:18:37,191 You're gonna pick him up? - Yes! 282 00:18:37,274 --> 00:18:40,152 All right, hold on a minute. You can say happy birthday. 283 00:18:40,235 --> 00:18:42,612 No! Gotta go! Good-bye. 284 00:18:44,239 --> 00:18:46,157 Hello. 285 00:18:46,533 --> 00:18:50,244 Happy birthday to you 286 00:18:50,286 --> 00:18:55,457 Happy birthday, dear Max 287 00:18:55,499 --> 00:19:00,837 Happy birthday to you 288 00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:05,633 Okay, birthday boy. Make a wish. 289 00:19:08,136 --> 00:19:11,556 Come on, Max. It can be anything you want. 290 00:19:11,639 --> 00:19:13,724 Anything in the whole world. 291 00:19:28,404 --> 00:19:31,073 Max. 292 00:19:31,157 --> 00:19:34,410 Your father is sorry. He had to work. 293 00:19:34,493 --> 00:19:37,037 He said he was gonna be here. He promised. 294 00:19:37,121 --> 00:19:41,458 I know, but he promises that he is gonna see you tomorrow. 295 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:45,545 Okay? He's gonna pick you up from school. All right? 296 00:19:48,506 --> 00:19:52,093 So come on. Make a wish. 297 00:20:04,229 --> 00:20:06,689 I wish that for only one day... 298 00:20:06,731 --> 00:20:10,735 Dad couldn't tell a lie. 299 00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:41,138 Mmm. That was incredible. 300 00:20:41,221 --> 00:20:44,516 Was it good for you? 301 00:20:44,557 --> 00:20:46,726 I've had better. 302 00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,068 l've had better? 303 00:20:59,571 --> 00:21:02,074 l've had better? 304 00:21:06,578 --> 00:21:08,496 l've had better. 305 00:21:32,059 --> 00:21:34,478 Hi. - Hi. 306 00:21:34,562 --> 00:21:37,773 New in the building? - Yeah, I just moved in Monday. 307 00:21:37,856 --> 00:21:42,110 Oh! You like it so far? - Everybody's been real nice. 308 00:21:42,194 --> 00:21:44,779 Well, that's because you have big jugs. 309 00:21:44,863 --> 00:21:47,448 I mean, your boobs are huge. 310 00:21:47,532 --> 00:21:51,160 I mean, l wanna squeeze 'em. 311 00:21:51,244 --> 00:21:55,080 Mama. 312 00:22:05,507 --> 00:22:08,009 Any change, mister? - Absolutely. 313 00:22:08,092 --> 00:22:10,428 Could you spare some? - Yes, I could. 314 00:22:10,470 --> 00:22:13,055 Will ya? How come? - Mm-mm. 315 00:22:13,139 --> 00:22:15,641 Because I believe you will buy booze with it! 316 00:22:15,683 --> 00:22:20,562 I just wanna get to the office without being confronted by the decay of Western society! 317 00:22:20,646 --> 00:22:22,898 Plus, I'm cheap! 318 00:22:23,982 --> 00:22:25,942 Jerk off! 319 00:22:56,929 --> 00:22:58,889 You look like you're having a rough morning. 320 00:22:58,972 --> 00:23:02,767 Ding, ding, ding! What do we have for her, Johnny? 321 00:23:04,144 --> 00:23:06,521 Fletcher. - Dana. 322 00:23:06,604 --> 00:23:09,899 All right, Samantha. How much will it take to put an end to all this? 323 00:23:09,982 --> 00:23:14,070 Fifty percent of your estate. - Fifty percent? 324 00:23:14,153 --> 00:23:17,531 With a pre-nup and proof of adultery? What's your case? 325 00:23:17,614 --> 00:23:19,908 Our case is simply this. 326 00:24:01,947 --> 00:24:04,115 Very funny, Fletcher! 327 00:24:04,199 --> 00:24:07,994 You wanna play hardball? I'm game. 328 00:24:08,077 --> 00:24:10,830 You wanna play hardball? I'm game. 329 00:24:10,913 --> 00:24:13,582 What are you doing? What is wrong with you? 330 00:24:13,624 --> 00:24:17,961 All rise for the Honorable Judge Marshall Stevens. 331 00:24:18,045 --> 00:24:20,047 Honorable? 332 00:24:21,214 --> 00:24:26,719 Good morning. Call case number BD-09395. 333 00:24:26,761 --> 00:24:29,639 Samantha Cole vs. Richard Cole. 334 00:24:29,722 --> 00:24:32,642 How are we doing this morning, Counsel? - Fine. Thank you. 335 00:24:32,725 --> 00:24:37,938 And you, Mr. Reede? - I'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode last night. 336 00:24:41,566 --> 00:24:45,111 Well, you're still young. It'll happen more and more. 337 00:24:45,153 --> 00:24:49,657 In the meantime, what do you say we get down to business? 338 00:24:49,741 --> 00:24:54,453 First, Mr. Reede, I see- - I would like a continuance! 339 00:24:54,495 --> 00:24:58,707 This case has been delayed several times, Mr. Reede. 340 00:24:58,791 --> 00:25:04,129 I realize that, Your Honor, but l would really, really like a continuance. 341 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,840 I'll have to hear good cause, Counsel. 342 00:25:06,923 --> 00:25:08,841 What's the problem? 343 00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:21,311 I can't lie! 344 00:25:21,395 --> 00:25:26,149 Commendable, Mr. Reede, but I'm waiting to hear good cause. Do you have one or not? 345 00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:29,360 Not. - Motion for continuance denied. 346 00:25:29,444 --> 00:25:32,321 Is there any chance of a settlement in this case? 347 00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:37,326 I don't think so, Your Honor. My client has already offered Mrs Cole 2.4 million dollars. 348 00:25:37,368 --> 00:25:42,205 But Mr. Reede has made it clear he has no desire... - Settle! 349 00:25:42,289 --> 00:25:45,667 Settle, settle, settle, settle! - I don't want to settle. 350 00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:50,004 Mr. Reede. You convinced me yesterday, I'm the victim! 351 00:25:50,046 --> 00:25:54,175 I'm starved for affection. I'm driven into the arms of another man. 352 00:25:54,216 --> 00:25:56,302 Seven! - Yeah, whatever. 353 00:25:56,343 --> 00:25:59,429 With the story you came up with, I don't think we can lose. 354 00:25:59,513 --> 00:26:03,850 I want to proceed. - Mrs. Cole, you don't understand. 355 00:26:03,892 --> 00:26:06,352 Mr. Reede. Do we have a settlement? 356 00:26:06,436 --> 00:26:08,396 No! 357 00:26:12,775 --> 00:26:15,486 No, Your Honor. - There's no settlement. 358 00:26:15,528 --> 00:26:18,530 Trial to commence 1:30 sharp. 359 00:26:37,464 --> 00:26:39,383 It was me! 360 00:26:42,928 --> 00:26:45,388 Hi, Mr. Reede! Like the new dress? 361 00:26:45,430 --> 00:26:50,184 Whatever takes the focus off your head. 362 00:26:50,226 --> 00:26:55,272 What's up, Fletcher? - Your cholesterol, fatty! Dead man walkin'. 363 00:26:55,356 --> 00:26:57,566 Hey, Fletcher. - Hey! You're not important enough to remember. 364 00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:00,569 What's it gonna be, Mr. Reede? - A pockmark, eventually! 365 00:27:00,611 --> 00:27:04,072 Don't ask! For God's sakes, don't ask. 366 00:27:04,114 --> 00:27:06,908 All right. You can beat this. 367 00:27:06,991 --> 00:27:09,869 It's all a matter of willpower! 368 00:27:09,911 --> 00:27:13,414 A test. Something small. 369 00:27:19,169 --> 00:27:23,882 Red. Red. All right? Now focus. 370 00:27:23,924 --> 00:27:27,468 The color of this pen is r-r-r- 371 00:27:30,430 --> 00:27:32,765 The color of this pen... 372 00:27:32,848 --> 00:27:35,768 is re-e-e-e-e- 373 00:27:35,809 --> 00:27:37,895 Re-e-e-e- 374 00:27:41,148 --> 00:27:45,276 The color of the pen that I hold in my hand... 375 00:27:45,318 --> 00:27:48,279 is r-r-r-r- 376 00:27:48,321 --> 00:27:50,281 r-r-royal blue! 377 00:27:53,784 --> 00:27:56,787 One lie, and I can't say it! 378 00:27:57,955 --> 00:27:59,873 I'll write it. 379 00:28:27,315 --> 00:28:30,526 Write it! Write it, or I'll break it off! 380 00:28:35,948 --> 00:28:39,993 Agh! No! Come on! Stop it. 381 00:28:50,628 --> 00:28:53,089 Boss? What happened? 382 00:28:57,634 --> 00:29:01,054 The pen is blue. The pen is blue! 383 00:29:01,138 --> 00:29:04,808 The goddamn pen is blue! 384 00:29:07,352 --> 00:29:09,270 Mr. Reede, are you all right? 385 00:29:09,354 --> 00:29:13,065 I gotta go home. - Home? Was the case settled? 386 00:29:13,149 --> 00:29:15,859 No! I have to be in court at 1:30! 387 00:29:15,943 --> 00:29:20,864 Then how are you going to go home? - I don't know. I don't know. 388 00:29:20,906 --> 00:29:24,951 Okay. Uh, Mr. Reede, Reuben and Dunn called. 389 00:29:25,035 --> 00:29:27,620 They need to know where the Darby settlement offer stands. 390 00:29:27,704 --> 00:29:31,999 I just proposed a settlement to dick with them! 391 00:29:33,292 --> 00:29:35,461 Dick with them. Got it. 392 00:29:35,544 --> 00:29:39,715 And your mother called. Are you still on vacation? - No. 393 00:29:39,756 --> 00:29:42,050 Then you're here? - Yes. 394 00:29:42,092 --> 00:29:44,552 Thank you for clearing that up, sir. 395 00:29:44,594 --> 00:29:47,931 And your ex-wife called. She wants to know when you're coming to pick up your son. 396 00:29:48,014 --> 00:29:52,310 Oh, I'm such a shit! 397 00:29:56,188 --> 00:29:58,649 Hello. - Audrey? 398 00:29:58,732 --> 00:30:01,568 Fletcher, hi. Are you still picking Max up from school today? 399 00:30:01,610 --> 00:30:03,695 Here's the thing. I really can't! 400 00:30:03,737 --> 00:30:07,657 I had a case l was certain would settle, and it didn't, and I have to go to court. 401 00:30:07,740 --> 00:30:11,244 Right. - It's true! I really want to see Max today! 402 00:30:11,327 --> 00:30:13,245 I really do. 403 00:30:13,329 --> 00:30:16,123 Uh-huh, but things just keep coming up at the last minute. 404 00:30:16,206 --> 00:30:19,251 Yes, but this time it's different. - I see. How is that? 405 00:30:19,293 --> 00:30:23,255 Now I'm telling the truth. - And last night you weren't. Well, what were you doing? 406 00:30:23,338 --> 00:30:26,299 Having sex! 407 00:30:26,382 --> 00:30:29,469 Well, I hope that it was with someone very special. 408 00:30:29,552 --> 00:30:32,722 No! That's the thing. I don't even like her, but she's a partner. 409 00:30:32,763 --> 00:30:37,476 I thought l could help my career by makin' her squeal. 410 00:30:41,146 --> 00:30:44,274 What's wrong with me? 411 00:30:44,357 --> 00:30:46,651 I'm getting what I deserve. I'm reaping what I sow. I'm- 412 00:30:58,370 --> 00:31:01,623 ls Dad still picking me up? - No, Max, he's not. 413 00:31:02,916 --> 00:31:05,835 I'm sorry, but l'm gonna pick you up, okay? 414 00:31:05,919 --> 00:31:07,837 I'll work it out. 415 00:31:07,921 --> 00:31:09,881 I guess my wish didn't come true. 416 00:31:09,964 --> 00:31:14,844 What wish? - I wished that for just one day Dad couldn't tell a lie. 417 00:31:21,099 --> 00:31:23,018 Max? 418 00:31:25,645 --> 00:31:29,607 I have something important to talk to you about, okay? 419 00:31:29,649 --> 00:31:31,943 Okay. - Okay. 420 00:31:39,449 --> 00:31:43,703 Hello? - Audrey! Let me explain. Something has happened to me. 421 00:31:43,787 --> 00:31:47,707 Well, something else is about to happen to you. Max and I are moving to Boston. 422 00:31:47,790 --> 00:31:50,001 What? - Jerry has asked me to marry him, 423 00:31:50,042 --> 00:31:52,712 and Max and I are going this weekend to look at houses. 424 00:31:52,795 --> 00:31:54,672 I thought it was semiserious! 425 00:31:54,713 --> 00:31:57,508 It's just been given a violent shove into serious. 426 00:31:57,591 --> 00:32:00,093 You can't move to Boston; I'll never see Max! 427 00:32:00,177 --> 00:32:03,597 You'll have the same relationship you have with him now, won't you? 428 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,432 Where are you? - I'm going home. 429 00:32:05,515 --> 00:32:08,768 When you get there, just stay there. I'm comin' over. We have to talk. 430 00:32:08,851 --> 00:32:13,105 Fletcher! - I'll be right there. 431 00:32:13,189 --> 00:32:16,483 Hey, Mr. Reede- 432 00:32:24,949 --> 00:32:28,077 Fletcher. - Holy hell! 433 00:32:32,081 --> 00:32:35,376 You can run, but you can't hide. 434 00:32:40,213 --> 00:32:42,382 What's your problem, schmuck? 435 00:32:42,424 --> 00:32:45,802 I'm an inconsiderate prick! 436 00:33:08,865 --> 00:33:10,783 Oh, shit! 437 00:33:15,454 --> 00:33:17,581 Shit! 438 00:33:24,838 --> 00:33:28,508 You know why I pulled you over? - Depends on how long you were following me! 439 00:33:29,759 --> 00:33:33,012 Why don't we take it from the top? - Here goes. 440 00:33:33,095 --> 00:33:35,097 I sped, l followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, 441 00:33:35,181 --> 00:33:39,184 I almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, I failed to yield, 442 00:33:39,268 --> 00:33:43,271 I changed lanes without signaling while speeding! 443 00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:46,774 Is that all? - No. 444 00:33:48,901 --> 00:33:51,737 I have unpaid parking tickets. 445 00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:55,783 Be gentle. 446 00:33:59,494 --> 00:34:01,496 Audrey! Wait! 447 00:34:04,582 --> 00:34:08,127 Wait, Audrey. Ooh! Hold on. Wait! 448 00:34:08,169 --> 00:34:12,506 Wait. I just had an insight into myself. I'm crazy. 449 00:34:12,590 --> 00:34:16,135 You call and say, Wait, I'll be right over, 450 00:34:16,218 --> 00:34:18,804 and here's the crazy part- I actually wait. 451 00:34:18,846 --> 00:34:22,891 I can explain this. - I have missed a department meeting. 452 00:34:22,974 --> 00:34:24,934 Did you come in a cab? - Yes! 453 00:34:24,976 --> 00:34:28,104 Where's your car? 454 00:34:28,146 --> 00:34:31,649 Thank you! I can't tell you how much this means to me. 455 00:34:31,732 --> 00:34:37,071 I can. $1,654.11. - How do you sleep at night? 456 00:34:40,657 --> 00:34:43,743 I'm takin' this. 457 00:34:52,585 --> 00:34:54,879 You scratched my car! 458 00:34:54,962 --> 00:34:59,341 Where? - Right there! 459 00:35:00,425 --> 00:35:03,887 Oh, there. That was already there. 460 00:35:03,970 --> 00:35:07,015 Why, you! 461 00:35:07,056 --> 00:35:09,017 You liar! 462 00:35:10,268 --> 00:35:12,395 -You know what I'm gonna do about this? -What? 463 00:35:12,478 --> 00:35:16,231 Nothing! Because if I take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life, 464 00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:19,943 and you won't show up, and if I got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway! 465 00:35:20,027 --> 00:35:24,197 So I'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk... 466 00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,700 and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe! 467 00:35:27,784 --> 00:35:30,870 You been here before, haven't ya? 468 00:35:30,912 --> 00:35:33,664 Well, I can't remember when I've had more fun, 469 00:35:33,706 --> 00:35:35,874 but if you'll excuse me, I have a class. 470 00:35:35,916 --> 00:35:37,876 Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me? 471 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,379 No, I divorced you because I was mad at you. 472 00:35:40,420 --> 00:35:43,715 Wait. I want to talk about this! - What do you want to say? 473 00:35:43,798 --> 00:35:46,676 Is this guy right for you? He is so... not me! 474 00:35:46,718 --> 00:35:51,806 That's one of his best qualities. - But he's kind of a magoo. 475 00:35:51,889 --> 00:35:56,435 I'm sorry. - You're wrong. Sometimes maybe he is a little- 476 00:35:56,518 --> 00:36:00,063 Magoo! - Yes. But since we've been going out- 477 00:36:00,105 --> 00:36:03,149 My God, I'm not having this conversation with you. - Audrey, you can't go. 478 00:36:03,233 --> 00:36:05,652 This is not fair. - Fair? 479 00:36:05,735 --> 00:36:10,573 Okay, let's define fair. Last night a five-year-old boy was crushed... 480 00:36:10,656 --> 00:36:14,285 because his father lied to him about coming to his birthday party. 481 00:36:14,368 --> 00:36:16,287 Fair? - Last night- 482 00:36:16,370 --> 00:36:19,289 Was none of my business. None of my business. - Thank you. 483 00:36:19,373 --> 00:36:22,793 Two years ago, it was my business. But I don't have to care anymore. 484 00:36:22,876 --> 00:36:26,588 That's the magic of divorce. But it matters to Max! 485 00:36:26,629 --> 00:36:29,882 Everything you do matters, and everything you don't do. 486 00:36:29,924 --> 00:36:31,884 All right. Now let me tell you something. 487 00:36:31,926 --> 00:36:33,886 I'm a bad father! 488 00:36:37,056 --> 00:36:38,974 I mean- 489 00:36:44,354 --> 00:36:46,940 I'm a bad father. 490 00:36:48,441 --> 00:36:52,820 You're not a bad father... when you show up. 491 00:36:52,903 --> 00:36:55,656 What if I come right after court and play ball? 492 00:36:55,739 --> 00:36:58,951 Then you and I can talk before you make any rash decisions! 493 00:36:58,992 --> 00:37:01,286 No, we are leaving tonight. 494 00:37:01,328 --> 00:37:04,080 Please, Audrey. Give me one more chance. 495 00:37:04,122 --> 00:37:06,541 I'm throwin' myself on the mercy of the court. 496 00:37:06,624 --> 00:37:11,796 I lost you, but please don't make me lose Max too. 497 00:37:14,090 --> 00:37:18,010 Give me a chance to be the father I started out to be. 498 00:37:23,890 --> 00:37:27,143 You're really coming? - This is ironclad. 499 00:37:27,227 --> 00:37:30,354 This is the mother of all promises. What time? 500 00:37:30,438 --> 00:37:32,356 Okay, 6:00. 501 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,484 Ten to six. - All right. 502 00:37:35,526 --> 00:37:38,987 All right. But if I tell Max that you're coming, 503 00:37:39,029 --> 00:37:42,324 and you don't show up and I have to see that look on his face- 504 00:37:42,365 --> 00:37:44,784 that heartbreaking look- 505 00:37:44,826 --> 00:37:46,786 we're going to Boston. 506 00:37:46,828 --> 00:37:50,373 If I don't show up, I'll pack you myself. 507 00:37:50,456 --> 00:37:53,709 I will lovingly wrap your nicknacks with bubble paper. 508 00:37:53,793 --> 00:37:55,711 I hope so. 509 00:37:57,504 --> 00:38:00,799 Do you know what your son was doing at 8:15 last night? 510 00:38:00,841 --> 00:38:04,427 He was making a birthday wish that for just one day... 511 00:38:04,511 --> 00:38:07,472 his father couldn't tell a lie. 512 00:38:12,393 --> 00:38:15,813 Oh, my God! That's it! 513 00:38:16,230 --> 00:38:18,482 l do not like them, Sam I Am. 514 00:38:18,524 --> 00:38:21,234 l do not like green eggs and ham. 515 00:38:21,318 --> 00:38:23,945 Would you like them here or there? 516 00:38:24,029 --> 00:38:26,823 I would not like them- - Excuse me. 517 00:38:26,865 --> 00:38:31,285 Hi. I'm Max's bad father- Er, I'm his father. 518 00:38:31,369 --> 00:38:35,706 Dad! - Could I borrow him for just one second? 519 00:38:35,748 --> 00:38:40,377 Monster Max! - You came to play catch? 520 00:38:40,460 --> 00:38:43,171 I'd like to, but I can't. I gotta talk to you. 521 00:38:43,213 --> 00:38:47,550 Your mommy told me about that wish you made last night. It came true, Max. 522 00:38:47,592 --> 00:38:50,636 Really? You mean you have to tell the truth? - Yes. 523 00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:52,888 No matter what? - No matter what! 524 00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:56,183 Is wrestling real? - In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no. 525 00:38:56,225 --> 00:39:00,270 Will sitting too close to the TV set make me go blind? - Not in a million years. 526 00:39:00,354 --> 00:39:03,398 If I keep making this face, will it get stuck that way? 527 00:39:03,481 --> 00:39:06,484 Uh-uh. In fact some people make a good living that way. 528 00:39:09,404 --> 00:39:12,448 Now listen, Max. You've gotta do something for me. 529 00:39:12,531 --> 00:39:15,159 I need you to take back that wish. 530 00:39:15,242 --> 00:39:17,786 So you can lie? - Yes. 531 00:39:17,870 --> 00:39:21,498 But not to you. You see, Max, 532 00:39:21,581 --> 00:39:25,835 sometimes grownups need to lie. 533 00:39:26,961 --> 00:39:30,298 It's hard to explain, but if- 534 00:39:30,381 --> 00:39:33,551 Look, here's a good example. When your mommy was pregnant with you, 535 00:39:33,592 --> 00:39:36,428 she gained 40 pounds; there was nothing she wouldn't eat. 536 00:39:36,512 --> 00:39:39,014 And Daddy was scared. But when she'd ask me, "How do I look?" 537 00:39:39,097 --> 00:39:43,518 l'd say, "Honey, you look great. You're glowing. " 538 00:39:43,602 --> 00:39:46,354 lf I had told Mommy she looked like a cow, it would have hurt her feelings. 539 00:39:46,438 --> 00:39:50,149 Understand? - My teacher tells me real beauty's on the inside. 540 00:39:50,233 --> 00:39:53,611 That's just something ugly people say. 541 00:39:53,652 --> 00:39:57,531 Max, no one can survive in the adult world if they have to stick to the truth. 542 00:39:57,614 --> 00:40:01,576 I could lose my case, l could lose my promotion, I could even lose my job. 543 00:40:01,618 --> 00:40:03,578 Now, I need your help, Max. 544 00:40:03,620 --> 00:40:05,997 Okay. 545 00:40:06,081 --> 00:40:10,293 Okay. Do whatever you did last night, 546 00:40:10,334 --> 00:40:14,672 only this time, make it an "unwish." 547 00:40:23,054 --> 00:40:24,973 I did it. 548 00:40:25,056 --> 00:40:27,308 Excellent! 549 00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:29,977 Now, I just need a little test. 550 00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:52,248 -Did it work? -Not like l'd hoped. Did you unwish it? 551 00:40:52,331 --> 00:40:55,459 Only- - What? Only what? 552 00:40:55,501 --> 00:40:58,962 Yesterday, when I wished it, I really meant it. 553 00:40:59,004 --> 00:41:02,549 This time when I unwished it, I only did it 'cause you told me to. 554 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,760 All right. Do it again. 555 00:41:05,844 --> 00:41:07,762 And this time, mean it. 556 00:41:07,845 --> 00:41:10,306 But I can't! - Why not? 557 00:41:10,348 --> 00:41:13,684 'Cause I don't want you to lie. - I explained this. 558 00:41:13,726 --> 00:41:17,146 I have to lie. Everybody lies. 559 00:41:17,187 --> 00:41:20,607 Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies. 560 00:41:20,691 --> 00:41:23,693 But you're the only one that makes me feel bad. 561 00:41:23,735 --> 00:41:27,572 Max, recess is over. 562 00:41:27,655 --> 00:41:29,866 Come on in! 563 00:41:33,744 --> 00:41:35,704 Mom says we're moving to Boston. 564 00:41:35,746 --> 00:41:39,166 That isn't for sure yet. 565 00:41:39,208 --> 00:41:41,918 She promised we'd talk about it tonight. 566 00:41:43,003 --> 00:41:44,921 I am comin'! 567 00:41:45,005 --> 00:41:47,257 You believe me, don't you, Max? 568 00:41:48,341 --> 00:41:51,219 I'll see you later, buddy. 569 00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:04,731 Fletcher. How's it hangin'? - Short, shriveled and always to the left. 570 00:42:08,901 --> 00:42:12,405 Boss, it's Skull. He knocked over another A.T.M. 571 00:42:12,446 --> 00:42:16,116 This time at knife-point. He needs your legal advice. 572 00:42:20,245 --> 00:42:23,957 Stop breakin' the law, asshole! 573 00:42:31,881 --> 00:42:33,799 Boss, are you all right? 574 00:42:33,883 --> 00:42:36,302 My son hates me. 575 00:42:37,761 --> 00:42:42,307 Max loves you. I've seen you together. You're his hero. 576 00:42:42,390 --> 00:42:45,727 Oh, yeah? 577 00:42:45,769 --> 00:42:49,272 Last night at his birthday party, he made a wish... 578 00:42:49,313 --> 00:42:52,650 that I wouldn't be able to lie for one whole day. 579 00:42:52,733 --> 00:42:55,236 Kids. - It came true. 580 00:42:55,277 --> 00:42:58,947 What? - Max's wish! 581 00:42:58,989 --> 00:43:01,450 It came true. 582 00:43:07,205 --> 00:43:10,291 Boss, maybe you should just take a few days off. 583 00:43:10,333 --> 00:43:14,712 Greta! Didn't it seem weird to you that I kept tellin' the truth all morning? 584 00:43:14,795 --> 00:43:16,714 Well, yeah. But- 585 00:43:18,715 --> 00:43:22,302 What are you saying? That you are incapable of lying? 586 00:43:22,344 --> 00:43:25,513 That's right! I am incapable of lying! 587 00:43:25,597 --> 00:43:29,976 Just for today? - Apparently. 'Til 8:15 tonight. 588 00:43:30,059 --> 00:43:32,103 It's one of those 24-hour curses. 589 00:43:32,144 --> 00:43:34,105 Those are goin' around. 590 00:43:34,146 --> 00:43:36,523 You don't believe me, do you? - Of course not. 591 00:43:36,607 --> 00:43:40,235 How ironic! 592 00:43:40,319 --> 00:43:44,281 Okay. Ask me something you think I would normally lie about. 593 00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:48,159 All right. Remember a couple of months ago when I wanted a raise? 594 00:43:48,201 --> 00:43:51,412 I don't want to do this. - And the company wouldn't give me one... 595 00:43:51,495 --> 00:43:54,832 and I asked if you would give it to me out of your own pocket... 596 00:43:54,874 --> 00:43:59,127 And you said the company would not allow it, because it would create jealousy... 597 00:43:59,169 --> 00:44:01,338 among the other secretaries. 598 00:44:01,380 --> 00:44:06,342 Was that true, or did you just not want to pony up the dough? 599 00:44:08,052 --> 00:44:10,847 Greta, please! 600 00:44:10,930 --> 00:44:15,351 Judge Stevens, hi! Fletcher Reede. I'm scheduled in your court in half an hour. 601 00:44:15,392 --> 00:44:19,188 Judge Stevens, I badly, badly need a continuance. Ill? 602 00:44:19,229 --> 00:44:23,191 Am I ill? That is the perfect question for you to ask. 603 00:44:23,233 --> 00:44:26,236 Please lie for me! - I remember when you bought me this... 604 00:44:26,319 --> 00:44:29,447 antique frame from Tiffany's- Tiffany's? 605 00:44:29,530 --> 00:44:33,034 Garage sale. Six-fifty, marked down from ten. 606 00:44:35,494 --> 00:44:37,955 I'll give you the raise! 607 00:44:39,039 --> 00:44:40,999 Here's your raise. 608 00:44:41,041 --> 00:44:46,045 Hi, Judge Stevens! I know l haven't given you an answer. 609 00:44:46,129 --> 00:44:49,132 But illness could mean so many things. 610 00:44:49,215 --> 00:44:51,551 Can you hold? Hello? Mom! 611 00:44:51,592 --> 00:44:55,262 Hi! I wasn't really on vacation. 612 00:44:55,346 --> 00:44:58,640 Because I didn't want to talk to you! 613 00:44:58,724 --> 00:45:02,561 Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements- size, color, frequency! 614 00:45:02,644 --> 00:45:05,397 I'll call you later! Hello? 615 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:08,191 Oh, damn it! I cut him off. 616 00:45:08,232 --> 00:45:11,068 I cut off the judge! 617 00:45:15,447 --> 00:45:18,450 Greta! Don't leave! 618 00:45:18,492 --> 00:45:21,411 I'm on my knees in a 900$ dollars suit! 619 00:45:23,163 --> 00:45:28,126 Mr. Reede. Several years ago, a friend had a burglar on her roof. 620 00:45:28,209 --> 00:45:33,089 He fell through the skylight, landed on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. 621 00:45:33,130 --> 00:45:36,592 The burglar sued my friend. He sued my friend! 622 00:45:36,675 --> 00:45:38,886 Because of guys like you, he won! 623 00:45:38,927 --> 00:45:43,390 My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. Is that justice? 624 00:45:43,431 --> 00:45:46,810 No. I'd have got him ten. 625 00:45:48,269 --> 00:45:50,605 Good-bye, Mr. Reede. - No, wait! 626 00:45:50,646 --> 00:45:52,648 I didn't understand! Ask me again! 627 00:45:53,024 --> 00:45:56,110 Have a nice day in court. - Greta! 628 00:45:57,277 --> 00:45:59,947 Hi. - God in heaven! 629 00:46:00,030 --> 00:46:02,407 It's nice to see you too, Fletcher. Are you busy? 630 00:46:02,449 --> 00:46:06,286 Extremely. - Good. Would you follow me, please? 631 00:46:10,123 --> 00:46:13,959 Did you know that the partnership committee is headed by Mr. Allan himself? 632 00:46:14,043 --> 00:46:17,296 You used to work directly for Mr. Allan. 633 00:46:17,337 --> 00:46:20,882 Yeah. - Tell me. What do you think of him? 634 00:46:20,966 --> 00:46:24,969 He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard! 635 00:46:25,053 --> 00:46:29,849 A belligerent old fart! A steaming pile of cow dung! Figuratively speaking. 636 00:46:29,932 --> 00:46:33,019 Really? How delightful. This way. 637 00:46:35,020 --> 00:46:40,651 Pardon me for interrupting. Mr. Allan, you remember Fletcher Reede? 638 00:46:40,734 --> 00:46:43,820 Oh, yes! Nice to see you again, Fletcher. 639 00:46:43,862 --> 00:46:46,906 I'll be observing you in court this afternoon. 640 00:46:46,990 --> 00:46:49,867 I've been hearing some good things about you. 641 00:46:49,951 --> 00:46:54,872 Well, Fletcher has just been telling me how much he thinks of you. 642 00:46:54,955 --> 00:46:59,334 Why don't you tell Mr. Allan? Well, what do you think of him? 643 00:47:05,965 --> 00:47:10,344 He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard. 644 00:47:10,386 --> 00:47:15,599 A belligerent old fart. A worthless, steaming pile of cow dung. 645 00:47:15,683 --> 00:47:18,977 Figuratively speaking. 646 00:47:39,746 --> 00:47:42,124 That's the funniest damn thing I've ever heard! 647 00:47:42,207 --> 00:47:45,043 You're a real card, Reede! 648 00:47:45,126 --> 00:47:47,503 I love a good roast! 649 00:47:48,546 --> 00:47:51,007 Do Simmons! 650 00:47:51,048 --> 00:47:53,217 Simmons is old! 651 00:47:53,259 --> 00:47:57,971 He should have been out years ago, but he can't stay home 'cause he hates his wife! 652 00:47:59,765 --> 00:48:02,309 You've met her at the Christmas parties. 653 00:48:02,392 --> 00:48:05,729 She's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard. 654 00:48:05,770 --> 00:48:09,982 And you, Tom. You're the biggest brownnose I've ever seen! 655 00:48:10,066 --> 00:48:14,904 You've got your head so far up Mr. Allan's ass, I can't tell where you end and he begins! 656 00:48:14,945 --> 00:48:17,156 Priceless! 657 00:48:18,866 --> 00:48:22,119 You have bad breath caused by gingivitis. 658 00:48:22,202 --> 00:48:26,789 You couldn't get a porn star off. Your hairpiece looks like something that was killed. 659 00:48:26,873 --> 00:48:31,627 I don't know whether to comb it or scrape it off and bury it in lime! 660 00:48:31,711 --> 00:48:36,131 Loser! Idiot! Wimp! Degenerate! 661 00:48:36,215 --> 00:48:39,092 Slut! 662 00:48:40,761 --> 00:48:45,181 I like your style, Reede! That's what this stuffy company needs! 663 00:48:45,265 --> 00:48:49,644 A little irreverence! - Good! I'll see you later, dick-head! 664 00:48:50,686 --> 00:48:53,272 Dick-head! Priceless! 665 00:49:10,121 --> 00:49:13,124 Keep your eye on that boy. 666 00:49:13,207 --> 00:49:15,793 Dick-head! 667 00:49:34,226 --> 00:49:38,480 Third District Court is now in session. 668 00:49:38,564 --> 00:49:42,984 The honorable Judge Marshall Stevens presiding. 669 00:49:43,318 --> 00:49:47,655 Afternoon, Counselors. Are we ready to begin? 670 00:49:47,739 --> 00:49:50,408 No, sir! We are not ready to begin... 671 00:49:50,491 --> 00:49:52,785 because my client has not arrived! 672 00:49:52,868 --> 00:49:54,787 Hurry up! Move it, move it! 673 00:49:54,870 --> 00:49:57,915 Here she comes to wreck the day 674 00:49:57,998 --> 00:50:00,834 Mr. Reede! - Sorry, Your Honor. 675 00:50:00,876 --> 00:50:03,044 Go, go, go. Lupe, you keep those kids quiet. 676 00:50:03,086 --> 00:50:05,213 I'm not even close to kidding. - Sí, seňora. 677 00:50:05,255 --> 00:50:08,716 Sorry. Billy threw up in the car. 678 00:50:08,758 --> 00:50:11,302 You brought your kids to your divorce? 679 00:50:11,385 --> 00:50:13,554 Sympathy. - Well, it's working. 680 00:50:13,596 --> 00:50:15,723 I feel sorry for them already. 681 00:50:15,764 --> 00:50:18,225 Miss Appleton, you may begin. 682 00:50:18,267 --> 00:50:20,936 From March 6 through June 12... 683 00:50:21,019 --> 00:50:24,314 I surveilled Mrs. Cole at the behest of Mr. Cole. 684 00:50:24,397 --> 00:50:27,066 During that period, I noted that Mr. Cole... 685 00:50:27,150 --> 00:50:30,278 Ieft each day between 7:40 and 7:50. 686 00:50:30,361 --> 00:50:33,948 Thereafter Mrs. Cole would frequently have... 687 00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:38,076 a male visitor arrive and stay from one to four hours. 688 00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:42,789 I was able to take several photographs of the male visitor. 689 00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:45,417 I see. 690 00:50:45,458 --> 00:50:49,587 Do you know what Mrs. Cole and her male visitor did... 691 00:50:49,629 --> 00:50:52,715 during these frequent... visits? 692 00:50:52,757 --> 00:50:56,176 Well, they were pretty good about keeping the shades drawn, 693 00:50:56,260 --> 00:51:00,889 but I was able to make a recording of one such session. 694 00:51:02,307 --> 00:51:04,517 Your Honor, as you are aware, 695 00:51:04,601 --> 00:51:07,020 under the terms of the prenuptial agreement, 696 00:51:07,103 --> 00:51:10,898 if Mrs. Cole commits adultery, she is entitled to nothing. 697 00:51:10,940 --> 00:51:14,860 With your permission, we'd like to play the following tape recording. 698 00:51:19,615 --> 00:51:22,075 Here comes big daddy! 699 00:51:22,117 --> 00:51:25,370 Oh, God! Do it to me! 700 00:51:25,453 --> 00:51:29,207 Do it to me! Harder! Harder! 701 00:51:34,712 --> 00:51:36,880 Oh, come on! 702 00:51:36,964 --> 00:51:42,511 Your Honor, how can it be proved that the male voice on that tape is not Mr. Cole himself? 703 00:51:42,594 --> 00:51:46,723 You are such a better lover than my husband! 704 00:51:46,806 --> 00:51:50,309 Your Honor, I object! - And why is that, Mr. Reede? 705 00:51:50,351 --> 00:51:53,312 It's devastating to my case! - Overruled. 706 00:51:53,354 --> 00:51:55,439 Good call! 707 00:51:55,481 --> 00:51:59,026 I gotta go. I haven't cleaned your pool. - Your witness. 708 00:51:59,109 --> 00:52:02,070 All right. 709 00:52:02,154 --> 00:52:05,240 Well, Mr. Reede, you may proceed. 710 00:52:10,703 --> 00:52:12,663 How? 711 00:52:36,935 --> 00:52:40,439 Your Honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break? 712 00:52:40,522 --> 00:52:43,358 Can't it wait? - Yes, it can. 713 00:52:43,441 --> 00:52:46,819 But I've heard that if you hold it, it can damage the prostate gland, 714 00:52:46,861 --> 00:52:49,447 making it very difficult to get an erection! 715 00:52:49,530 --> 00:52:52,325 Is that true? - It has to be. 716 00:52:52,366 --> 00:52:55,327 Well, in that case, I better take a little break myself. 717 00:52:55,369 --> 00:52:58,705 But you get back here immediately so we can finish this. 718 00:53:15,387 --> 00:53:19,600 How am I going to get out of this? 719 00:53:20,892 --> 00:53:24,396 Think. Think. 720 00:53:24,437 --> 00:53:28,399 Think! 721 00:54:24,117 --> 00:54:26,536 What the hell are you doing? 722 00:54:27,704 --> 00:54:31,582 I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind? 723 00:54:56,355 --> 00:54:59,358 I found him like this in the bathroom, Your Honor. 724 00:54:59,441 --> 00:55:01,401 Somebody beat the hell out of him. 725 00:55:01,485 --> 00:55:04,404 Who did this? - A madman, Your Honor! 726 00:55:04,487 --> 00:55:07,699 A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope! 727 00:55:07,782 --> 00:55:09,909 What did he look like? 728 00:55:09,992 --> 00:55:13,245 About 6'2", 180 pounds, big teeth, kind of gangly. 729 00:55:13,329 --> 00:55:15,831 Bailiff, have the deputy search the building. 730 00:55:15,873 --> 00:55:18,375 Yes, sir. 731 00:55:18,458 --> 00:55:21,002 Order! Order! 732 00:55:25,548 --> 00:55:29,010 Under the circumstances, I have no choice but to recess this case... 733 00:55:29,052 --> 00:55:32,096 until 9:00 a. m. tomorrow morning. 734 00:55:32,179 --> 00:55:35,391 Unless, of course, you feel you can still proceed. 735 00:55:39,186 --> 00:55:41,521 Can you? 736 00:55:45,942 --> 00:55:50,571 Yes, I can. 737 00:55:50,655 --> 00:55:53,574 I admire your courage, Mr. Reede. 738 00:55:53,657 --> 00:55:56,327 We'll take a short recess so that you can compose yourself, 739 00:55:56,368 --> 00:55:58,537 and then we'll get started. 740 00:56:08,379 --> 00:56:10,339 Here you go. 741 00:56:19,514 --> 00:56:23,685 Hello? 742 00:56:23,727 --> 00:56:27,397 Dad? - Max? How's it goin'? 743 00:56:27,438 --> 00:56:30,024 Great. You know Paul and Emanuel from across the street? 744 00:56:30,066 --> 00:56:33,819 Yeah. Uh-huh. - Well, they never want to play baseball with me. 745 00:56:33,903 --> 00:56:36,238 But I told them I'm playing tonight with my dad. 746 00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,574 So now they want to play. Is that okay? 747 00:56:38,615 --> 00:56:41,618 Sure. The more the merrier. 748 00:56:41,701 --> 00:56:43,787 Coolest! Do you wanna be Jose Canseco? 749 00:56:43,870 --> 00:56:48,624 Oh, yeah. Who else is gonna hit that famous Nomo slider? 750 00:56:48,708 --> 00:56:52,086 Mr. Reede. - I gotta go now, Max. 751 00:56:52,169 --> 00:56:57,091 I'll see you in a couple hours. Okay? Bye. - Bye, Dad. 752 00:56:58,217 --> 00:57:01,636 He's really coming! I'm gonna go change. 753 00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:03,763 Okay, go ahead! - Yeah! 754 00:57:08,518 --> 00:57:10,686 Mr. Reede! 755 00:57:10,770 --> 00:57:14,982 Mr. Reede! Mr. - 756 00:57:15,065 --> 00:57:17,359 This is my lawyer. He's a little unorthodox. 757 00:57:20,070 --> 00:57:23,240 Mr. Reede, you remember Kenneth Falk, the man from the tape. 758 00:57:23,281 --> 00:57:25,909 How could I forget? - Hey, how you doin'? 759 00:57:25,950 --> 00:57:29,120 I've slipped into the seventh circle of hell! Thank you. 760 00:57:29,162 --> 00:57:32,164 You? - Shouldn't we be going over our testimony right now? 761 00:57:32,248 --> 00:57:35,125 Basically, the plan is, I walk you through the tape. 762 00:57:35,209 --> 00:57:37,378 Step-by-step, I ask you questions. 763 00:57:37,461 --> 00:57:41,339 And we give the explanation you came up with. - Exactly. 764 00:57:41,423 --> 00:57:43,550 All we gotta do is lie. That sounds simple enough. 765 00:57:43,633 --> 00:57:45,677 Doesn't it! 766 00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,638 Then I'll finish up with dramatic questions. 767 00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:54,351 Something like: Mr. Falk, isn't it true that you and Mrs. Cole... 768 00:57:54,435 --> 00:57:58,397 have never made... 769 00:58:02,275 --> 00:58:06,779 Ugh! Oh, God! I can't do it. 770 00:58:06,821 --> 00:58:10,950 I can't finish the question if I know the answer is a lie. 771 00:58:25,338 --> 00:58:29,258 You may proceed, Mr. Reede. 772 00:58:42,354 --> 00:58:46,024 Respondent calls... 773 00:58:46,107 --> 00:58:48,067 Kenneth Falk. 774 00:59:04,582 --> 00:59:06,543 Raise your right hand. 775 00:59:06,584 --> 00:59:10,630 Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? 776 00:59:10,713 --> 00:59:14,425 I do! I mean- 777 00:59:17,302 --> 00:59:20,055 I do. 778 00:59:25,518 --> 00:59:28,396 Mr. Falk. 779 00:59:31,524 --> 00:59:33,692 Do you know my client, Samantha Cole? 780 00:59:33,734 --> 00:59:35,778 Yes. 781 00:59:39,406 --> 00:59:43,868 Isn't it true that your relationship with my client is entirely platonic? 782 00:59:43,910 --> 00:59:45,954 I object, Your Honor! 783 00:59:46,037 --> 00:59:48,456 To yourself? 784 00:59:48,539 --> 00:59:50,666 Yeah. 785 00:59:50,750 --> 00:59:54,670 But I would like to... rephrase the question. 786 00:59:57,214 --> 01:00:00,467 Mr. Falk, would I be accurate... 787 01:00:00,550 --> 01:00:05,263 if I described your relationship with Mrs. Cole as totally professional? 788 01:00:05,305 --> 01:00:08,474 I object, Your Honor, and I move to strike! 789 01:00:08,558 --> 01:00:11,143 Mr. Reede, I don't know what you're on, 790 01:00:11,227 --> 01:00:14,730 but you better get to the point and quick. 791 01:00:14,772 --> 01:00:17,066 Thank you, sir. 792 01:00:19,943 --> 01:00:23,488 Is your relationship with my client entirely platonic? 793 01:00:23,572 --> 01:00:26,282 Not! Is not your relationship with my client: 794 01:00:26,324 --> 01:00:29,619 Boink! Bad baby, bad baby! 795 01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:31,829 Did you ever not make lo- 796 01:00:31,912 --> 01:00:34,915 Did you- - Mr. Reede! 797 01:00:34,957 --> 01:00:39,127 You had sex with her every time you met, didn't you? Didn't you! Liar! 798 01:00:39,169 --> 01:00:41,338 He's badgering the witness. - It's his witness. 799 01:00:41,421 --> 01:00:44,966 You slammed her! You dunked her donuts! You gave her dog a "snaussage"! 800 01:00:45,008 --> 01:00:47,427 You stuffed her like a Thanksgiving turkey! 801 01:00:49,971 --> 01:00:54,850 All right, it's true, okay! I humped her brains out! There! Now you happy? 802 01:01:01,189 --> 01:01:03,483 No further questions. 803 01:01:22,375 --> 01:01:25,170 No questions. 804 01:01:25,211 --> 01:01:28,172 You may step down. 805 01:01:31,634 --> 01:01:34,929 Do I dare ask you to call your next witness? 806 01:01:38,390 --> 01:01:41,143 I have no further witnesses, Your Honor. 807 01:01:41,184 --> 01:01:44,104 What are you doing? Call me! 808 01:01:44,187 --> 01:01:47,440 You do not understand. I can't lie. 809 01:01:47,523 --> 01:01:50,443 I can't do anything dishonest until 8:15 tonight! 810 01:01:50,526 --> 01:01:53,612 Listen, you bastard! I want my money! 811 01:01:53,696 --> 01:01:57,032 I am not going to end up a 31-year-old divorcee on welfare... 812 01:01:57,074 --> 01:02:00,702 because my scumbag attorney had a sudden attack of conscience! 813 01:02:00,744 --> 01:02:03,288 Thirty-one? 814 01:02:03,371 --> 01:02:06,374 If Mr. Reede has no further witnesses, 815 01:02:06,416 --> 01:02:08,876 then I have no choice but to rule in favor of- 816 01:02:08,918 --> 01:02:10,837 Your Honor! 817 01:02:13,214 --> 01:02:16,050 I call Samantha Cole to the stand. 818 01:02:16,091 --> 01:02:20,053 Order. 819 01:02:20,095 --> 01:02:23,014 Order! Order! 820 01:02:23,056 --> 01:02:25,475 Knock it off! - Sit down! 821 01:02:27,393 --> 01:02:29,979 Mr. Reede, it is out of sheer morbid curiosity... 822 01:02:30,062 --> 01:02:32,773 I'm allowing this... freak show to continue. 823 01:02:35,901 --> 01:02:39,154 Mrs. Cole... if you dare. 824 01:02:54,502 --> 01:02:57,212 Mrs. Cole... 825 01:02:57,254 --> 01:03:00,757 is this a copy of your driver's license? 826 01:03:02,509 --> 01:03:05,762 Yes. - It says here you're a blonde. Are you? 827 01:03:05,804 --> 01:03:08,723 If you don't remember, perhaps Mr. Falk will. 828 01:03:08,765 --> 01:03:11,475 Brunette. - We can play the tape again. Maybe it's on there. 829 01:03:11,559 --> 01:03:13,602 I'm a brunette! 830 01:03:13,644 --> 01:03:16,939 Thank you. Now let's see. 831 01:03:17,022 --> 01:03:20,067 Weight: 105. Yeah! In your bra. 832 01:03:20,108 --> 01:03:22,068 Your Honor, I object! - You would! 833 01:03:22,110 --> 01:03:24,070 Bastard! - Hag! 834 01:03:24,112 --> 01:03:27,073 Quiet! Overruled! Weight? 835 01:03:28,741 --> 01:03:30,910 One-eighteen. 836 01:03:30,952 --> 01:03:33,954 All right, fine, fine. I'm 127. 837 01:03:33,996 --> 01:03:37,124 Uh-huh. And it says here you were born in 1964, 838 01:03:37,166 --> 01:03:39,501 but that's not true either, is it? 839 01:03:39,585 --> 01:03:41,503 Is it! - No. 840 01:03:41,586 --> 01:03:45,465 Will you tell me what it says here on your birth certificate under "date of birth"? 841 01:03:45,507 --> 01:03:48,092 Your Honor, what does this have to do with anything? 842 01:03:48,134 --> 01:03:51,095 Overruled. Mrs. Cole, answer the question. 843 01:03:51,137 --> 01:03:54,431 1965. 844 01:03:54,473 --> 01:03:57,976 Now let me get this straight. 845 01:03:58,018 --> 01:04:02,772 That would mean that you lied about your age to make yourself older. 846 01:04:02,814 --> 01:04:07,193 But why would any woman want to do that? 847 01:04:07,277 --> 01:04:09,821 I changed it so I could get married. 848 01:04:09,862 --> 01:04:14,450 And the truth shall set you free! 849 01:04:14,492 --> 01:04:17,244 My client lied about her age! 850 01:04:17,327 --> 01:04:20,706 She was only 17 when she got married, which makes her a minor, 851 01:04:20,789 --> 01:04:23,166 and in the great state of California, 852 01:04:23,250 --> 01:04:25,543 no minor can enter into any legal contract... 853 01:04:25,627 --> 01:04:27,837 without parental consent, including- 854 01:04:27,879 --> 01:04:29,839 Prenuptial agreements. 855 01:04:29,881 --> 01:04:32,883 Prenuptial agreements! This contract is void! 856 01:04:32,967 --> 01:04:36,679 The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant. 857 01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:40,807 Standard Community Property applies, and she is entitled to half of the marital assets, 858 01:04:40,849 --> 01:04:43,393 or $11.395 million! 859 01:04:43,476 --> 01:04:47,772 Jordan fades back. Swoosh! And that's the game! 860 01:04:47,855 --> 01:04:50,983 Nothing further, Your Honor. 861 01:04:58,824 --> 01:05:02,077 Order. Order. Order! 862 01:05:04,496 --> 01:05:06,539 In light of this new evidence, 863 01:05:06,623 --> 01:05:09,167 the court must rule in favor of Mrs. Cole. 864 01:05:09,208 --> 01:05:13,295 Yes! - She is hereby awarded half the marital assets. 865 01:05:13,379 --> 01:05:17,341 The son of a bitch pulled it off! 866 01:05:17,382 --> 01:05:21,762 I didn't know! - It doesn't matter. The contract's void. 867 01:05:21,845 --> 01:05:25,890 Order. Order. 868 01:05:25,932 --> 01:05:29,477 I understand both parties have agreed to joint custody. 869 01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:31,103 Is that correct? - Yes. 870 01:05:31,187 --> 01:05:32,646 Yes. - No. 871 01:05:32,730 --> 01:05:34,648 I'm contesting custody. 872 01:05:34,732 --> 01:05:37,234 What? - If I get sole custody, 873 01:05:37,317 --> 01:05:39,861 that's another ten grand in child support payments. 874 01:05:39,903 --> 01:05:42,322 You just won $11 million! 875 01:05:42,405 --> 01:05:45,241 Hey, I'm the victim here. You said it yourself. 876 01:05:45,325 --> 01:05:48,745 Now I'm gonna hit him where it hurts. 877 01:05:48,828 --> 01:05:53,207 But you- you said he was a good father. 878 01:05:53,249 --> 01:05:55,793 So? 879 01:05:57,586 --> 01:06:02,549 Well, Mr. Reede, do we have an agreement on custody or not? 880 01:06:05,218 --> 01:06:07,136 No. 881 01:06:07,220 --> 01:06:10,097 I see. 882 01:06:10,139 --> 01:06:15,102 In that case, there will be a custody hearing on the 19th at 9:00 a.m. 883 01:06:15,144 --> 01:06:17,479 Court is adjourned. 884 01:06:23,902 --> 01:06:26,279 Come on, let's go. - Daddy! 885 01:06:26,321 --> 01:06:29,282 You stop that whining, or I'll give you something to whine about! 886 01:06:29,323 --> 01:06:32,034 I wanna go with Daddy! 887 01:06:32,118 --> 01:06:34,954 Come here, kids. Come on. It's all right. Don't you worry. 888 01:06:34,995 --> 01:06:38,165 I promise we'll be together, whatever I have to do. 889 01:06:38,248 --> 01:06:40,292 It's okay. It's okay. 890 01:06:40,334 --> 01:06:43,378 Oh, for God's sake, will you give me those? They're mine! 891 01:06:43,461 --> 01:06:46,381 Let go of Daddy! Let go of him! Let go of Daddy! 892 01:06:46,464 --> 01:06:49,842 We're leaving now! Lupe, come on! - Sí, seňora. 893 01:06:49,926 --> 01:06:54,138 Don't you have some checks to write? You haven't paid for them yet. 894 01:07:05,815 --> 01:07:09,068 I love children. 895 01:07:09,152 --> 01:07:12,071 They give you so much leverage in a case like this. 896 01:07:12,154 --> 01:07:16,492 You did an incredible job, partner. 897 01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:18,869 Look at him. 898 01:07:18,952 --> 01:07:21,413 He's stunned. He can't believe it. 899 01:07:23,957 --> 01:07:27,293 Your Honor, may I please approach the bench? 900 01:07:27,335 --> 01:07:29,712 We're adjourned, Mr. Reede. 901 01:07:29,796 --> 01:07:33,257 Your Honor, I think we've made a big mistake. 902 01:07:33,340 --> 01:07:35,801 Mr. Reede, I am tired and very cranky. 903 01:07:35,843 --> 01:07:39,638 I know, but this is just... wrong, isn't it? 904 01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:41,807 I manipulated the system. 905 01:07:41,848 --> 01:07:45,810 Just because you bought it doesn't mean I'm right. It's a technicality! 906 01:07:45,852 --> 01:07:49,021 Young man, having my judgement mocked in my own court... 907 01:07:49,105 --> 01:07:51,440 is not something I'm prepared to tolerate! 908 01:07:51,524 --> 01:07:55,819 Well, tell that to the kids when they're adopted... by the Manson family! 909 01:07:55,861 --> 01:07:59,948 One more word out of you, Mr. Reede, and I'll hold you in contempt! 910 01:08:00,032 --> 01:08:02,951 I hold myself in contempt! 911 01:08:03,034 --> 01:08:05,245 Why should you be any different? 912 01:08:05,328 --> 01:08:07,330 Bailiff, take him away! 913 01:08:07,372 --> 01:08:10,291 This man is a good father, and children are not leverage! 914 01:08:10,374 --> 01:08:14,628 Oh, no, don't do this! I have a date to play ball with my son! 915 01:08:14,712 --> 01:08:18,382 I can't be late! It's my last chance! 916 01:08:18,465 --> 01:08:20,801 I'm Jose Canseco! 917 01:08:20,884 --> 01:08:24,262 I'm Jose Canseco! 918 01:08:27,223 --> 01:08:29,183 Phone call! Phone call! 919 01:08:29,225 --> 01:08:32,186 I get a phone call! I get a phone call! 920 01:08:32,228 --> 01:08:34,396 I get a phone call! 921 01:08:34,438 --> 01:08:36,940 Hello? 922 01:08:37,066 --> 01:08:39,651 Audrey, it's me. Don't hang up! 923 01:08:39,735 --> 01:08:42,320 I can't talk right now. Our flight leaves at 8:00. 924 01:08:42,404 --> 01:08:46,533 What? - I'm taking Max someplace where you can't do this anymore. 925 01:08:46,574 --> 01:08:49,911 Audrey, wait! The most amazing thing has happened to me. 926 01:08:49,952 --> 01:08:53,706 I'm a changed man! Just come to the courthouse with $1,000 and bail me out. 927 01:08:53,747 --> 01:08:56,750 Hello? Hello? 928 01:08:56,834 --> 01:09:00,045 Time's up, pal. - No, just one more call. Just one more call. 929 01:09:03,590 --> 01:09:06,426 Okay, let's go. 930 01:09:08,094 --> 01:09:10,054 Ready? - Yeah. 931 01:09:10,096 --> 01:09:13,057 Will you get the door, please? - Okay. 932 01:09:13,099 --> 01:09:15,392 Thank you. 933 01:09:15,434 --> 01:09:18,937 Mr. Reede, you made bail. 934 01:09:18,979 --> 01:09:22,107 Greta! Oh, thank God! 935 01:09:22,149 --> 01:09:25,777 Am I too late? Have you been sexually molested yet? 936 01:09:25,860 --> 01:09:28,321 Because I could circle the block. 937 01:09:28,404 --> 01:09:30,740 How did you know I was here? 938 01:09:30,781 --> 01:09:33,075 One of the other secretaries called me at home, 939 01:09:33,117 --> 01:09:35,578 said you went all noble in front of Mr. Allan. 940 01:09:35,619 --> 01:09:37,913 Yeah, I think I'm fired. Isn't that great? 941 01:09:37,955 --> 01:09:40,290 I'll start my own firm. Do you need a job? 942 01:09:40,332 --> 01:09:42,876 I don't think you can afford me. 943 01:09:46,129 --> 01:09:49,799 Oh, man, I gotta get my car. Audrey's on her way to the airport. 944 01:09:49,841 --> 01:09:53,594 I could lose Max forever. I can't let that happen. I love him! 945 01:09:53,636 --> 01:09:56,263 You know, this truth stuff is pretty cool. 946 01:09:56,305 --> 01:10:00,350 I love my son! I love my son! 947 01:10:00,434 --> 01:10:04,104 I love my son! I love my son! 948 01:10:04,145 --> 01:10:07,857 Hey, need some change? Take everything! 949 01:10:09,817 --> 01:10:11,777 But it's not gonna make you happy. 950 01:10:11,819 --> 01:10:14,280 I love my son! 951 01:10:14,321 --> 01:10:16,615 I love my son! 952 01:10:16,657 --> 01:10:19,451 I love my son! 953 01:10:20,660 --> 01:10:22,871 Hey, there you are! 954 01:10:22,954 --> 01:10:25,707 Hi. - Just in time. 955 01:10:25,790 --> 01:10:28,793 Oh, this is the happiest moment of my entire life. 956 01:10:28,835 --> 01:10:32,129 O-Oh! Well, m-me, m-mine- 957 01:10:32,171 --> 01:10:34,548 Well, ours... also. 958 01:10:34,632 --> 01:10:39,136 Hey, gipper. I have something for you, young man. 959 01:10:39,177 --> 01:10:42,973 Ooh, watch yourself. It's the claw! 960 01:10:43,014 --> 01:10:45,642 Ooh, the claw's comin' at ya. 961 01:10:45,683 --> 01:10:49,687 Ooh, you're scared of the claw. You're scared of the claw. 962 01:10:49,729 --> 01:10:52,898 Jerry. Jerry. - Huh? 963 01:10:52,982 --> 01:10:55,234 It's okay. You don't have to- 964 01:10:55,317 --> 01:10:58,820 Tower Air flight 1511 to Boston is now boarding. 965 01:10:58,862 --> 01:11:00,822 Ooh, that's us. - Yeah. 966 01:11:00,864 --> 01:11:03,533 Ready to go? - Yes. You ready? 967 01:11:03,575 --> 01:11:05,743 Okay. - Great. 968 01:11:05,827 --> 01:11:07,620 Jim Rubing, please report to Airport Security. 969 01:11:14,084 --> 01:11:16,045 Excuse me! 970 01:11:16,128 --> 01:11:19,047 What gate is flight 1511 leaving from? It's an emergency! 971 01:11:19,089 --> 01:11:22,425 Gate number 123, but you'll never make it. Flight's already boarding. 972 01:11:22,509 --> 01:11:25,261 It takes more than a half hour to get through security. 973 01:11:25,345 --> 01:11:29,265 If you want to go to Boston, there's another flight leaving tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. 974 01:11:29,348 --> 01:11:31,601 Flight number one-twenty- 975 01:11:33,602 --> 01:11:36,647 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1511... 976 01:11:36,730 --> 01:11:38,941 from Los Angeles to Boston's Logan Airport. 977 01:11:39,024 --> 01:11:42,777 We'll be departing shortly, and if you need help stowing your carry-on items- 978 01:11:42,861 --> 01:11:44,738 Honey, can I help you? - I'm fine. 979 01:11:44,779 --> 01:11:48,783 Are you sure? - Jerry, I can open the bag! 980 01:11:50,243 --> 01:11:52,536 Would you like anything to drink before takeoff? 981 01:11:52,578 --> 01:11:55,748 Yes. Anything with alcohol, please. 982 01:11:55,789 --> 01:11:58,250 Audrey. 983 01:11:58,292 --> 01:12:02,087 If you'll focus on the screen, we'll be running a safety video. 984 01:12:02,129 --> 01:12:04,297 How about that drink? 985 01:12:26,442 --> 01:12:29,779 Max! Max! 986 01:12:31,489 --> 01:12:34,408 Max! 987 01:12:34,450 --> 01:12:36,785 Wait! 988 01:12:40,330 --> 01:12:43,291 That oughta do it. 989 01:12:47,295 --> 01:12:49,881 Thanks! It's running great! 990 01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:55,135 Max! 991 01:12:58,972 --> 01:13:03,435 Hey! Max! 992 01:13:17,656 --> 01:13:20,659 Max! I'm coming! 993 01:13:30,710 --> 01:13:33,170 Max! 994 01:13:41,845 --> 01:13:45,056 Max! Max, where are you? 995 01:13:49,477 --> 01:13:51,395 I love you. 996 01:13:54,231 --> 01:13:56,275 Thank you. 997 01:13:56,358 --> 01:14:00,320 That wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for. 998 01:14:00,362 --> 01:14:03,365 Thank you very much? 999 01:14:07,201 --> 01:14:09,954 I'm sorry. It's just- - Too fast? 1000 01:14:10,037 --> 01:14:12,415 It was too fast, wasn't it? - No, i-it's- 1001 01:14:12,498 --> 01:14:14,833 Chemistry? Whatever it is, we can work on it. 1002 01:14:14,875 --> 01:14:19,421 No, no, no. It's just that- - Oh, my God, it's Fletcher! 1003 01:14:19,504 --> 01:14:23,300 No, no, this has nothing to do with Fletcher. - No, honey, it's Fletcher. 1004 01:14:23,383 --> 01:14:26,594 What? - Dad? 1005 01:14:28,012 --> 01:14:31,807 I made it! I'm late, but I made it! 1006 01:14:31,891 --> 01:14:34,643 What is he doing? 1007 01:14:34,727 --> 01:14:38,397 He came to see us off. Wave. 1008 01:14:41,900 --> 01:14:45,487 I won't let you go! 1009 01:14:51,784 --> 01:14:54,078 Oh, shit! 1010 01:14:59,124 --> 01:15:02,919 Control one-nine, this is Tower 1511, heavy. Ready for takeoff. 1011 01:15:10,593 --> 01:15:12,887 What was that? - Looked like a shoe. 1012 01:15:12,928 --> 01:15:15,180 Pull over! 1013 01:15:15,264 --> 01:15:17,808 Pull this thing over! 1014 01:15:17,891 --> 01:15:21,937 Control one-nine, some idiot has hijacked a flight of stairs. We're gonna stop this plane. 1015 01:15:21,978 --> 01:15:25,607 One-nine Control. We copy. 1016 01:15:29,861 --> 01:15:32,321 No-o-o-o-o! 1017 01:16:10,148 --> 01:16:12,650 You people are all doing a wonderful job! 1018 01:16:12,692 --> 01:16:14,818 That's far enough, folks. 1019 01:16:14,902 --> 01:16:17,654 He's my husband- was my husband. 1020 01:16:17,696 --> 01:16:19,698 All right, go ahead. - Okay. 1021 01:16:19,781 --> 01:16:22,993 Max, you stay here with Jerry, and I'll be right back, okay? 1022 01:16:25,954 --> 01:16:28,664 Audrey! Great news! - Fletcher! 1023 01:16:28,706 --> 01:16:32,001 Both my legs are broken, so they can't take me right to jail. 1024 01:16:32,043 --> 01:16:35,004 Fletcher, what were you doing? Are you out of your mind? 1025 01:16:35,045 --> 01:16:39,967 No, I'm thinking clear. I've never been this clear! 1026 01:16:40,008 --> 01:16:43,428 Dad? - Creep. 1027 01:16:43,511 --> 01:16:47,098 He was getting kind of upset. - Are you all right? 1028 01:16:47,181 --> 01:16:51,352 Yeah. I'm hurtin' here, though. 1029 01:16:51,435 --> 01:16:54,021 I'm a dope, Max. 1030 01:16:54,063 --> 01:16:56,523 All this time you've been here... 1031 01:16:56,565 --> 01:16:59,401 and I could see you anytime, but I didn't. 1032 01:16:59,484 --> 01:17:04,030 Then your mom told me you were moving to Boston, and I started thinking. 1033 01:17:04,072 --> 01:17:06,699 I could be sitting around sometime and... 1034 01:17:06,741 --> 01:17:11,412 want to look at you and hold you and play with you, 1035 01:17:11,495 --> 01:17:14,707 and I won't be able to. 1036 01:17:14,748 --> 01:17:18,252 I don't think I'm gonna do too well with that. 1037 01:17:19,962 --> 01:17:23,506 I love you more than anything else in the world, Max, 1038 01:17:23,548 --> 01:17:25,884 and you know it's true. 1039 01:17:25,967 --> 01:17:29,011 I couldn't say it if it wasn't true. Not today. 1040 01:17:31,097 --> 01:17:36,060 I love you, and I'll never hurt you again. 1041 01:17:39,938 --> 01:17:42,857 He's telling the truth, Mom. He's not allowed to lie. 1042 01:17:42,899 --> 01:17:46,778 I made a wish, and anything Dad says today has to be the truth. 1043 01:17:46,861 --> 01:17:48,780 Max. 1044 01:17:49,906 --> 01:17:52,325 It's 8:45. 1045 01:17:52,408 --> 01:17:54,702 You made the wish at 8:15. 1046 01:17:54,743 --> 01:17:57,621 I've been able to lie for the last half hour. 1047 01:17:57,704 --> 01:18:00,916 So you weren't- - No, it was the truth! 1048 01:18:00,957 --> 01:18:03,418 I just wanted to be honest with you. 1049 01:18:03,460 --> 01:18:05,920 I always want to be honest with you. 1050 01:18:11,342 --> 01:18:15,554 Mom, do we have to go to Boston? 1051 01:18:20,767 --> 01:18:22,894 No, Max, you don't have to go. 1052 01:18:25,605 --> 01:18:28,691 I, on the other hand, do have to. 1053 01:18:28,775 --> 01:18:31,611 A hospital to run. 1054 01:18:31,652 --> 01:18:35,823 That's an open-ended ticket if you ever change your mind. 1055 01:18:35,906 --> 01:18:38,116 Thank you. 1056 01:18:44,039 --> 01:18:47,000 Looks like he's got his father back. 1057 01:18:53,339 --> 01:18:59,303 Happy birthday, dear Maximus 1058 01:18:59,344 --> 01:19:05,809 Happy birthday to you 1059 01:19:05,850 --> 01:19:07,977 Okay, Max, make a wish. 1060 01:19:08,061 --> 01:19:11,647 Ahhh, wait! I don't know if we should do this. 1061 01:19:11,731 --> 01:19:15,776 Oh, Fletcher, come on. What are the odds of that happening again? 1062 01:19:17,736 --> 01:19:20,238 Yeah, I guess you're right. 1063 01:19:20,322 --> 01:19:22,407 Okay, Max, go ahead. 1064 01:19:29,705 --> 01:19:32,750 Mom? Dad? 1065 01:19:47,513 --> 01:19:49,432 Max! 1066 01:19:52,935 --> 01:19:56,313 Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again? 1067 01:19:56,355 --> 01:19:58,815 No, I wished for Rollerblades. 1068 01:20:02,611 --> 01:20:06,197 Do you want to cut the cake... 1069 01:20:06,239 --> 01:20:08,199 Dad? 1070 01:20:08,241 --> 01:20:10,451 I'd love to. 1071 01:20:10,535 --> 01:20:13,370 But I have this horrible pain in my arm. 1072 01:20:13,412 --> 01:20:15,456 Oh, no, it's the claw! 1073 01:20:15,539 --> 01:20:18,375 No one can stop the claw! 1074 01:20:18,417 --> 01:20:22,754 No one can stop it! 1075 01:20:27,967 --> 01:20:31,345 Nothing can stop the claw! 1076 01:20:53,741 --> 01:20:58,203 If I was a boxer, l would bounce those things like Sugar Ray Leonard. 1077 01:20:58,245 --> 01:21:01,248 I'm sorry. 1078 01:21:01,289 --> 01:21:03,750 Brought your kids to your divorce? 1079 01:21:03,833 --> 01:21:05,794 Sympathy. - Well, it's working! 1080 01:21:05,877 --> 01:21:08,379 I feel sorry for them already. 1081 01:21:08,421 --> 01:21:11,590 For this you will pay a terrible price. 1082 01:21:14,593 --> 01:21:17,763 Well, it's working! I feel sorry for them already. 1083 01:21:30,775 --> 01:21:32,735 Mrs. Cole... 1084 01:21:45,914 --> 01:21:47,999 a goose. 1085 01:21:50,668 --> 01:21:52,628 Including- 1086 01:21:52,670 --> 01:21:54,630 Prenuptial agreements. 1087 01:21:54,672 --> 01:21:58,008 Prenuptial agreements 1088 01:22:03,430 --> 01:22:05,974 No! I'd have got him ten. 1089 01:22:06,015 --> 01:22:08,309 Good-bye, Mr. Reede. 1090 01:22:08,351 --> 01:22:10,853 No! Wait! I didn't know she had- 1091 01:22:34,959 --> 01:22:38,712 Oh, shit. 1092 01:22:38,795 --> 01:22:42,716 Now let's see. Weight: 105? 1093 01:22:42,799 --> 01:22:44,843 Yeah! In your bra. 1094 01:22:44,884 --> 01:22:47,178 Your Honor, I object! - You would! 1095 01:22:47,220 --> 01:22:49,347 Overactor! - Jezebel! 1096 01:22:54,393 --> 01:22:58,647 He put me up to it. 1097 01:22:58,689 --> 01:23:02,692 Yeah, sure he did. 1098 01:23:02,734 --> 01:23:05,778 Oh, no. They're onto me.