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Move your car, you jerk!
What do you want from my life?
-Are you fucking deaf? Move! -Get out of the way!
You deaf? Look behind you!
You're blocking traffic!
Get off the street!
What do you want me to do? Tell him!
You dumb idiot!
I'm turning here, you idiot!
Where you from, Oshkosh?
Idiot!
-Watch your step. -You're a dumb idiot!
-Talking to me? -You are a dumb idiot!
-You talking to me? -Wally, don't start anything.
-The man's got something to say. -Up yours!
I heard that song before.
-Anything to get off your chest? -Who're you talking to?
No, say one more word. One more fucking word. Come on!
-You dumb asshole! -Hey, nice move!
-Come on! You don't show me shit! -Who are you fighting this time?
Wally! Wally, stop it! Stop it!
Come on. Come on. Going up. Step up.
-Fuck you. -Going down.
Why try to pass for someone with 20l20 vision when you're blind?
-I don't feel I have to pass. -You do.
It's a sickness, like if you were trying to pass for white.
-You mean I'm not white? -Oh, sit down.
This is a scandal! I'm not white?!
Why didn't you tell me before?
-You're my own sister! -Sit down, Wally.
Goodness! A lot of adjustments have to be made.
Cancel the swimming lessons. What'll the guys at the club say?
I'm not white! Oh, it feels like it.
Goodness, you're right!
-Lord, help me. -Does Dad know?
Twenty dollars across the board on Centipede.
Thank you very much. Oh, just a minute.
-You said that was all. -But I want my 50.
You already owe that bookie!
I don't want a lecture. Give me my 50.
This is the last $50 to your name, Wally.
I know, but $50, please.
Three minutes until post time.
And $50 to win on Centipede.
Come on, Centipede! You can do it!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
You can do it!
Come on, you bitch!
-Who won? -lt wasn't Centipede.
Shit!
-You shouldn't have quit your job! -The man treated me like I was blind.
So try someone else! You can't go on like this, Wally.
Get another job.
Mr. Lyons!
What's the matter with me?
Mr. Lyons, the fire inspector...
...wants you to pick up papers.
Much dangerous. Big fire.
You must please sweep up before you close the shop.
Mr. Huddelston, there's a vicious rumor going around that I'm deaf.
I don't like it. It's very humiliating.
Let's try and put a stop to it.
I feel like such a fool.
Don't worry about the inspector.
He's always coming around trying to get bribes.
You don't read lips? They told me you had to read my lips.
I feel like an ass.
Especially on the last Thursday of every month.
Sorry.
I can't turn left. I'll have to swing around the block.
You're not parking anywhere.
Slow down and just pull over here by the curb.
What do you mean?
I'm not a baby. I don't need a babysitter.
Just point me in the right direction.
Point you? Are you crazy?
Take your cane or you won't make it across.
No. Put the cane... Put it down.
I can hear, can't I? All I need is Big Mo.
I want to see this.
Here.
Thank you.
Good luck with the job.
Ex cuse me, sir. Nice day, isn't it?
So far, so good.
I'll pick you up in front of the building. Wait for the beeps.
Wait for the beeps. Yeah, wait for the beep.
-I will. Thank you. -What?
Would you help me across?
Yeah, take my arm.
Here we go.
Hey, sis, how am I doing?
Great. Just great.
-Thank you so much. -You don't have to thank me.
After all, this to me is just fun.
Like a walk in the park.
Here you are. If you get in any trouble, just holler.
-Can I help you? -I'm here about the ad in the paper.
"Salesman wanted. Needs sense of humor."
Are you the owner of the shop?
Who are you talking to?
Oh, there you are! Damn.
Look there. Contacts again. See that?
I'm looking for Mr. David Lyons.
-I'm David Lyons. -Pleased to meet you. I'm sorry.
I read your ad about an lvy League type.
Tall, dark, handsome. Three out of four ain't bad.
I'm kind of nervous.
Really want the job. I am a damned good salesman.
I'm David Lyons. What can I do for you?
Are we caught in a time warp here? Twilight Zone, maybe?
Any Martians who want to speak to Mr. Lyons?
You're funny. I really like that ad you put in the paper.
"Sense of humor." Not many people would do that.
I'm your guy. If you want me, here I am.
-Tell me what you want. -Three-fifty.
What are you talking about?!
Three hundred, that's it.
-Are you talking to me? -225!
Listen, man, $225 a week!
-All right, 200. No less than that! -Who are you talking to?
I'm talking to you, prick! What do you say?
-Look me in the eye and say that. -I would if I could...
...but I can't. I'm blind.
-You're blind? -Yes. Now can I have the job?
I had no idea. I'm sorry.
Now you know. Can I get the job?
-You're really blind? -Yes! What are you, fucking deaf?
-Yes! I'm fucking deaf! -Deaf?
-Yes, I'm deaf. -You really deaf?
-Really. -How do you know what I'm saying?
I'm reading your lips. Do you want the job or not?
Because I'm blind? Shove it up your ass, pal.
I don't want no favors.
Then go home! Get out! Give me some peace of mind.
To hell with blind people! Just walk out!
That's better. Now, I believe we agreed on 300.
What are we talking about?
Just a minute, hold it. Stop the music.
-Do you like Harvey Wallbangers? -Harvey who?
A friend of mine. I'll introduce you to him later.
Because tonight, my friend, we celebrate!
Not bad.
-Did I hit the board? -No, the wall. It's a lot better.
Three Wallbangers.
-Drink time! -Where's your friend?
He should be here soon. You'll like him.
-This is to you, Sally. Sally? -Here.
And to you. Thanks for buying the drinks.
My pleasure.
What's your friend look like?
I've never seen him, but he smells real good.
I think he's by the door.
Dave!
Dave, yo!
-Hi. -Dave!
-Over here! -Hello, I'm here.
-Hi. -Dave.
Meet two of my good friends.
-This is Sally. -Hi.
How do you do?
And this lovely lady to my left here, this is Lisa.
-Leslie. Hi. -Leslie, hi.
And this is my good friend, David Lyons.
Wally says you're forming a business together.
-Congratulations. -He says what?
Let's not talk about that now. Let's talk about Harvey Wallbanger.
-That's who you want me to meet? -Yeah! Bartender.
Hey, asshole. Who do you think you are?
David Lyons. You must be Harvey. Wally's told me about you.
Yeah, real comedian. Get off my jacket!
Listen, asswipe.
You better watch it or you'll go home early.
I didn't see the jacket.
-What are you, the constable? -Who's your girlfriend?
I think I heard my mating call. Stand up.
-I am standing. -Wait.
You don't understand. My friend...
Is a killer, that's what I am. A trained killer!
Oh, Special Forces.
When I was in the Corps...
...we ate you Green Beret pussies for breakfast.
-Eat this! -This guy's tough, Wally.
-lf I hear him, I can hit him. -He'd put a hole through your head.
So, you ain't talking now, huh?
Come on, bigmouth, say something. Let's get down.
Last night I was out with your sister.
-Okay, butthead. -Hey!
You're all right, champ. He's coming.
I'll give you the first hit.
He's coming, Wally. He's coming.
Lower, he's a few inches shorter than you.
-Aim for 12:00. -Hit him!
Okay, let's go. Let's go.
Eleven o'clock!
Circle right. Circle right. Circle right.
And left, left, left. Circle left.
Circle left. And right! Right, circle right.
-Circle left. Left. -Stand still!
Get ready! One o'clock! Good. Good.
Twelve!
Five to three. I got mix ed up!
Circle left. Circle left.
Shut up and let him fight.
Move right. Move right.
Get ready!
I said shut the fuck up!
-Read my lips, asshole! -I got that.
Wally.
Dave!
One o'clock!
Son of a bitch!
-You little son of a bitch. -You had enough?
Little creep!
-How are you doing? -I'm doing great!
We should hang out more often.
Yeah, it's nice to unwind after work.
Does that mean I get the job?
Depends on how this fight comes out.
So I bought this big bottle of champagne.
Must've cost 45 bucks.
I had my sister drop me off at Jones Beach.
I sat myself down in the sand, started drinking...
...and sneaking peeks to see if people was watching me cry.
Then I realized it didn't matter, because I couldn't see them anyway.
That's when I made a decision.
I wasn't gonna piss my life away because of anger.
That's when I decided, blind or not blind...
...I was gonna be the same lovable asshole I've always been.
You haven't made that decision yet, right?
No.
How'd you become an actor if you're deaf?
I wasn't born deaf. I got scarlet fever.
I didn't lose all my hearing until 8 years ago.
Why'd you stop acting?
I started missing cues when the others would turn.
I couldn't see their lips.
They ever catch you?
No, I don't think anyone knew. I just lost my nerve.
-When's the last time you were...? -Sorry, you were eating. What?
Laid! The last time you were laid!
Too sad.
Next subject, please.
You don't want to know.
So where's your wife?
Cleveland. I haven't seen her for years.
Nice lady?
Very nice. Wonderful, warm woman.
And then one day, she turned into this creature...
...who could sit on the end of a broomstick...
...and take off into the air.
She'd actually achieve flight.
-I think I was married to that lady. -Small world.
Funny, this happened just about the same time...
...I went totally deaf. Coincidence?
Amazing. Who'd believe it?
So, what do you want out of life?
Just not to make a fool out of myself.
That's all you want?
I have this terrible fear...
...that I'll make some mistake...
...and everyone's gonna stand around and stare at me.
Boy, damn! I wish I had met you eight years ago.
I can fix all your problems in 10 seconds.
Ten seconds?
Ten seconds, if you trust me. Do you?
Yeah, sure.
Listen.
Hey, you're a good-looking guy.
Thank you. That's very kind of you.
How's that feel? Good?
Look a little silly to me. Kind of foolish.
You see? Life ain't so complicated.
-When's the next coming, Ray? -Any second.
That might be the truck coming now. I gotta go get a screwdriver.
So, the blind guy around?
-Where's the blind guy? -Who do you want?
Kerew. Wally Kerew.
I'm his bookie. I owe him money.
He's waiting for a delivery. He'll be back in a minute.
Where's he, out front? I'll go find him.
I almost forgot. I need some...
-Some, I don't know... -We're not open yet.
I know. Listen, I need some of that stuff up there.
My tummy's all kaput. What is that stuff up there?
-The antacids? -Yeah, listen.
What's the difference between Alka-Seltzer and the other one?
Di-Gel?
Do me a favor. Can you read it to me?
You want me to read out Di-Gel?
Yeah, my eyes ain't too good. Just read it, please?
Jesus.
"Di-Gel contains calcium carbonate...
...an effective antacid. It is also..."
-Where are you going? -Take it.
I wasn't trying to pull anything.
You were told to deliver this right away.
I thought I was being tailed by the cops.
I didn't want to bring them near Mr. Sutherland.
You tell him that. I have a car out front.
I'm dead if I go with you.
You're dead if you don't go.
"...bubbles of gas trapped in the stomach can cause heartburn...
...acid indigestion and that full, bloated feeling.
And unlike plain antacids...
...the simethicone breaks up gas bubbles rapidly...
...to relieve fullness and pressure."
I feel like a commercial.
What the hell was that?
Wait a minute.
Wait, my ass! I thought I heard...
What is this, hide-and-seek?
What? What's this?
-Hello? -Oh, no!
-This guy's dead. -Wally, there's a gun here.
Don't touch it!
Move it!
Freeze!
Drop it! I said drop it!
-What? -Do you have a weapon?
-Yes, I do. -Get rid of it!
-Stay there! Freeze! -Don't shoot!
I'll blow you away.
-Wait. -Shut up!
Please, be gentle.
-Let's go. -Wait.
You don't think I had anything to do with this. He came for an antacid.
The man asked me to read him a Di-Gel label.
We don't even know the man.
Wally, would you get the money from the cigar box?
Officer, ex cuse me, isn't there some...
...nice way we can settle this? Can I get my coat?
-Hang on, we'll get your coats. -Jesus!
Wally, tell Mr. Huddelston to lock up for us.
Yeah.
-Open it up! -You're sick!
Dave?
-Dave? -Sit down.
-Head down, bring it down. -Dave?
Watch your leg, watch your leg.
License one-David-George-X-ray...
All right, let's move out.
You really can't say whether this mystery woman fired the shot.
No, but if she's innocent...
...why did she leave after the shot was fired?
-That makes sense. -Gatlin.
What's the story? I got the commissioner crawling up my ass!
The whole thing sounds shaky.
The deaf guy's not sure about the woman.
The blind guy heard the shot but can't make an identification.
You're feeling too sorry for them!
You're always feeling sorry for people.
All right, I'll take care of this.
We're gonna quit fucking around and start talking.
You claim there was a woman?
Was there a woman present?
-Was there a woman present? -You talking to me?
You bet your ass I am. Was there or wasn't there?
-Was there or wasn't there what? -A woman present!
I smelled a woman but I didn't see one.
What about you, wiseass? Was there a woman?
What do I have to do?
Take you downstairs to a private room and ask you?
He's deaf. You have to be facing him.
Jesus! All right, no more bullshit! Was there or wasn't there a woman?
-Are you serious? -Yes, I'm goddamn serious.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?
-What is he talking about? -He reads lips. You talk too fast.
Was there...
...a woman present?
Yes...
...there was...
...a woman...
-...present. -Why is he talking like that?
Because he's deaf...
...not stupid.
Can you tell me one goddamn thing about that woman?
She has the most magnificent legs I've ever seen in my life.
-Yeah, and she smells good too. -That does it.
Don't tell me you didn't hear it when he did.
Don't tell me you didn't see when he saw it.
Between the two of you, you saw and heard everything!
Some poor bastard's dead, so let's start answering some questions here!
-Ex cuse me, captain? -What?
Professor Kasuda.
You'll be interested in his ballistics report.
What do you got?
I think I can prove that both of the men had the mens rea.
-What the hell is a mens rea? -lt's a legal term.
It just means the intention to commit a crime.
-Okay, come on, let's go. -Mens rea?
-Cuff them. -How could we have gotten that?
-Don't worry. -Get up.
-Did we take blood? -Get up!
-Will you please rise? -Can you do it without taking blood?
Stupid, he's deaf. You have to be facing him!
Lab says that gun was the death weapon.
We use condoms. How can this be?
-I want to see a lawyer! -I want to see a doctor.
We found something in Mr. Scotto's place.
-Joey Scotto? -Can I have a blood test?
We found your name on a marker in his wallet.
"W. Kerew, $2800. Overdue."
-Because I owe him? -I'm sick.
What are you doing?
You owe him, he comes to bust you and your boyfriend kills him.
He is not my boyfriend.
Mens rea?
My God! No!
Checkbook...
...knife...
...racing forms...
...pair of undershorts...
...and a ticket...
...to El Paso, Texas. It's not here!
No coin.
-I wish I hadn't killed him. -lf you had to, you had to.
We know he had it at the airport. He must've made a switch somewhere.
The man who owns the newsstand, David Lyons.
He was talking to Scotto as I arrived.
Could he identify you?
No. He never saw me. Also, he's deaf.
Deaf?
And the other one is blind.
Blind? Deaf? Is this a joke?
No joke. I spoke with the building superintendent.
Let's pay them a visit, shall we?
Well, they're in jail now.
Well then, let's bail them out.
All right, Mr. Lyons, I need a nice full-face shot first.
Then we'll get our side shots later. You ready?
We're here because you owed that sleazeball $2800?
Face forward, please.
I thought that the Knicks would beat Boston. They came damn close.
Tell your friend to face the front.
Face front.
-What do you need a bookie for? -Credit.
Face front.
No one else would give me credit. Face front!
Will you tell him to hold still, please?
-What? -Hold still.
What's he doing?
Holding still.
Not looking at you, looking at me!
-What? -Face the camera.
Perfect. Don't move.
-What? -Don't move.
I'm getting fed up with her.
Why is he doing this to me? I just want him to face the camera.
-He's not facing the camera? -No!
That's news to me.
-What? -Face the camera.
That's better. Hold it.
She should decide.
Shit!
Shit, shit, shit!
-ls she saying "shit" or "ship"? -"Shit."
Yeah, why would she say, "Ship, ship, ship"?
-I need you. -lt wouldn't make sense.
Get him out. I want him out, now!
You're finished. I'll get you when you're sleeping.
We'll be fine. Once they find that woman, they'll let us out.
What woman? They're not looking for no woman.
They got their killers! We're fucked!
Captain, honestly...
-You okay? -What's wrong with you?
Can't you walk? Do we have to carry you?
Don't do shit for me.
He's blind, and you have him handcuffed?
Come on. For crying out loud.
All right, take the cuffs off him before he wrecks the goddamn joint.
Don't do me no favors.
Is everybody happy now? Are we all friends again?
Come on now, let's go.
Joe! I got Lyons, David; Kerew, Wallace. Suspected homicide.
-His lawyers are here. -Whose?
-David Lyons'. -My lawyers?
You want to check him for police brutality?
You got as long as it takes to print him. Get in here.
I know you don't know who we are.
Your right hand, please.
Our firm represents the building where your shop is.
We're here to try to arrange bail for you.
-Great. -That's a nice surprise.
They can only hold you up to 72 hours before an arraignment.
With luck, we'll have you out of here by 5:00.
We're pushing the "blind and deaf" angle. We hope you don't mind.
No, we don't mind. Use it.
We'll see you both very soon.
Ex cuse me, miss, have we met before?
No, I don't think so.
Are you wearing Shalimar perfume?
Yes, I am.
You know, you have a remarkable nose.
-Thanks. -Goodbye.
Goodbye.
I never knew anyone so beautiful.
The lady's got style.
I'd love to go to sleep listening to her voice.
Oh, my God!
-The legs. -I can imagine.
-The legs! -The legs. Of course.
-lt's her! -The killer?
Captain, the lady who was in my shop. That's her.
-The mystery woman is your lawyer? -No!
Now she's not your lawyer? That makes sense.
No! That's the lady you want!
How come you couldn't describe her before?
I only saw her from the rear. And now I saw her face.
She went around just now, I saw her tush. That's her!
That's the lady you want. Stop her!
Stop that lady!
With a little luck, we'll have them to ourselves by 5:00.
-They seem nice. -So was the chicken I ate last night.
Right now, the police have us for murder...
...or we get bailed out by the killer.
At least my way we have a chance. Are you with me?
All right, guys, let's go, huh?
-Yes or no? -Yes.
Come on, move these guys. Move them.
Come on, let's go. We gotta go. I'm sorry.
These guys are really gonna enjoy themselves on Rikers Island.
I bet you learn to speak Spanish real quick. Won't that be nice?
You know, I hear that they make the greatest kidney fricassee...
...with pineapple Jell-O.
-lt's really special. -All right, party time.
-Tell me when. Tell me when! -Now!
-What's going on? -Protestors.
Demonstrators? Good. Go with the flow. Mix in.
Could I have a word with you?
-Now you're released, how do you feel? -Great.
Can you really stop Khomeini?
Not if it's funny. A good comedy, as you say, is worth its weight in gold.
Have you read Norman Cousins on the immune system?
When is this gonna be on? I want my sister to tape it.
Thank you.
As you can see, this remains a complicated issue.
How could we lose a blind guy and a deaf guy?
-Son of a bitch! -I want these guys. Now!
Calm down. We'll get them.
Yeah, we better get them. We better.
Careful. Careful.
Turn left.
Wait. Let's try the door.
There's a hole here, Wally.
Put your fingers right in here.
There's an alley!
I'm right here. I'm right here. Step down once.
Follow me. Careful.
There's an alley right here. Careful. Turn right. Turn right.
Here's another door.
It's open.
Go on in.
Kerew is blind. Repeat, blind.
Lyons, David, 5'10", Caucasian, blond hair.
Lyons is deaf. Repeat, deaf.
Form barricades. 6th Avenue to Hudson, Houston to West 4th.
Every available cruiser, scramble now.
How does someone so beautiful kill somebody? I don't understand.
Careful. The broken wood is in front of you.
Oh, wait a minute.
Hold my head.
-Hold my head. -Okay.
Hold my head.
Thank you.
Are you all right?
Thank you very much.
They said to call back in 10 minutes. The judge is just getting out now.
We can have them in half an hour.
This way, Wally.
-Don't guide me. Don't guide me! -What?
They're looking for a blind guy and a deaf guy. We gotta leave the area.
You can't. You'll crack your head open.
-Not if you stomp your feet. -lf I what?
Stamp your feet. I'll follow the sound.
-Like this? -Louder.
I can hear the noise. I'll follow you.
-That's good! Now move out! -Jesus!
We gotta find the subway.
-I feel ridiculous. -You look fine to me!
I think we should kill them. We have to.
We don't want them to identify us.
It's not up to me. It's Sutherland.
If he wants us to kill them, we will.
Right now, let's just get them out of there and get the coin.
Mr. Kerew? How did you get out of jail?
-Who is it? -lt's all right. It's us.
-Your lawyers. -Shalimar.
That's right. Shalimar.
What is Mr. Lyons doing?
He's got to go to the bathroom real bad.
And I told him, if you gotta go, you gotta go! Go!
Don't worry about me! You go on! I'll catch up later.
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Not everybody can wait!
Just go! Don't worry about me, okay?
I'll catch up with you! Do you hear me?
Sure. I hear you fine.
You snuck up on me. Damn you.
You're close enough now. You can read my lips.
Yes, I can.
-Guess who I ran into today? -Who?
The...
-...kidders? -Did you learn to lip-read underwater?
The "killers," Mr. Lyons. The killers.
May I have the coin, Mr. Kerew?
What coin are we talking about?
They may not know they have it.
Ex cuse me.
Let's see if I can find it.
I don't know what you're looking for, but it's a little to the right.
Here it is.
-Here what is? -lt's a rare gold coin, Mr. Kerew.
Very valuable. Mr. Scotto put it in your cigar box before he passed away.
You mean I've had it all the time?
-Well, now what? -You know how I feel.
Can we go now?
I'll call our employer and find out.
-Say, my man... -Mr. Kerew, not so fast.
Do you make a lot of money in this line of work?
Yes, Mr. Sutherland, we have them both. And the coin.
That's right.
What time do you land?
I'll return tomorrow morning at approximately 8:37.
We'll go to Great Gorge, and we'll wait for your call.
We have to leave the country tomorrow.
Don't worry, my dear. Everything's arranged.
Sort of like a picky person.
What's it to be?
-I'll wait in the car. -No, meet me behind the diner.
-Goodbye, Mr. Lyons. -I hope I run into you again sometime.
I don't think so.
See, I'll be leaving the country...
...and you'll be dead.
Dead? I thought you weren't gonna kill us.
Afraid not. Goodbye.
Wait a second. Don't we get a last request?
What would you like?
Would you scratch my nose for me?
You're a very sick woman.
Thank you.
What would you like?
I suppose a fuck is out of the question.
I'm afraid so.
Goodbye.
Let's go, gentlemen.
We don't know nothing about no gold coin!
Why do you gotta kill us?
-You're both witnesses. -I don't understand this.
Why shoot us in an alley? Why not just do it right here?
Why in an alley? Why don't you kill us right here?
-Fine. -Bigmouth!
Wait.
We won't talk. I promise.
Please, don't do this.
Dave, stop begging, man.
We gotta go out with dignity.
All I want to know is, what time is it?
-Did you say what time is it? -Yes, I did. What time is it?
Your time is up, Mr. Kerew.
If I have to die, I want my friend to tell me what time it is.
What time it is?
It's 3:00.
Not yet. Not yet. It's 12.
Wait. It's 10:00. No, 12:00.
-Decide! -lt's 12:00.
-lt is not. It's 11:15. -lt's 12:00!
It's about time!
Quick! This way. This way.
Careful. Narrow. Narrow.
Other way! Other way!
Hurry, Wally! Come on, Wally!
Get behind this car. There's a car. Watch your knees.
-What's up? -Policemen have set up a barricade.
This is running. Anybody in it?
-This is a squad car. -I know that. Is anyone in it?
-I can't do this. -Yes, you can.
I'm cuffed. I can't drive.
You're not driving! We gotta get out of here.
-We won't get 10 feet. -Yes, we can.
Wally, you're gonna kill somebody.
I got the wheel, you take the pedals.
-Did you say something? -Me wheel, you pedals.
Oh, no! Forward! Wally, go forward!
-How am I doing? -Watch the road.
-lf it'll make you feel better. -Left!
Headquarters, this is barricade four! Barricade four!
I hate when that happens.
Are you stupid? You want to die?
-Police emergency. Out of the car. -Show me your badge.
This is my badge.
-They got through in a squad car. -Who the hell was driving?
I think it was the blind guy!
-Get in the car! Open that up! -What's up?
Get me down Seventh Avenue right away.
Turn right! Turn right! Stop!
Turn right! Straight ahead.
Left! Right! Straight! Left! Left!
Turn left! Turn left!
Right. To the right.
We're on a one-way street. Right.
A little left. Right. Turn right!
Where are you going?
These streets are bumpy.
You're driving on the sidewalk!
What the fuck was that?
Go on home. Your mother's looking for you.
-Get me close. -I'm trying.
Left, left. I said left!
-You said right. -I said left!
-Where am I? -Turn right! Right! Right!
Cows! Cows! Cows!
We're in a warehouse, and you've just hit a cow.
I think you better back up.
And stop!
Go slowly to your left and try to stay off the sidewalk.
Turn right. Turn right.
I just ripped my good pants.
I can take the wheel now. Slide over.
Slide over me.
I can't see. I can't see.
-I can't see. -I can't either.
-Push the seat back. -I'm stuck.
Find the lever and push the seat back.
I've got it!
-What happened? -We had a very close call.
-Thank you. -Wally, I can't see.
Move your hands. I can't see.
I'll get that son of a bitch now!
Is somebody shooting at us?
I didn't hear anything.
-Left! -You're mashing my nuts!
You're mashing my nuts!
Brakes! Wally, put on the brakes!
Where are we?
I think we're floating towards New Jersey.
-No shit! I got relatives in Jersey. -How nice for you.
You could read her lips, right?
-Yes, I could. -What did she say?
She said, "I'll give it to you tomorrow.
We'll go to Grace George in the morning and wait for your call."
Then she said, "We have to leave the country tomorrow."
We have to find this Grace George and wait for them to show up.
Are you with me?
Am I with you? Of course.
You've earned my trust.
You're always watching out for me.
You never get me into trouble.
Sometimes life is a little boring with you...
...but that's a small price to pay for such a wonderful friendship.
That's a sweet thing you just said.
Do you mean everything you just said?
I'll tell you exactly how I feel in just a minute or two.
Right now I'm a little overwhelmed...
...by the stink of the 7000 tons of garbage...
...that you drove me into!
Is that what it is?
I thought you let one go.
That's why I didn't say nothing.
That was kind of you. Thank you.
2286, this is Dispatch. What is your location?
2286, please respond. Over.
Can you please hurry? We have to bury the car.
-Jesus! Be careful, will you? -Take it easy.
-I'm doing damn good for a blind man. -What'd you say?
I said I'm doing damn good for a...
I'm getting tired of this deaf shit.
You can't hear anything I say, even if I scream in your ear?
-I don't know. I've never tried. -Really?
It seems crazy, after all these years, but I've never done that before.
I would like you to. Go ahead.
I want you to. Let's give it a try.
I want you to listen to me.
I'm going to try. Open up them pores.
Be responsive to what I'm going to say.
I want you to hear me. Okay?!
Shazam!
Can you hear me?!
What!
Jesus! I heard something! I heard your voice!
-You heard me? -Wally, I heard your voice!
-You can hear me, Dave! -What?
You can hear me!
No, schmuck! I'm deaf!
Now do you get it?
-I'm not a crybaby. -You are a crybaby.
Guess what you are?
A blind, egotistical asshole who denies he can't see shit.
Denies? You're the one who denies! This is you:
"I'm not deaf. I can read lips. Don't call me a deaf person."
Well, fuck it. I'm blind! You hear me?
Because some asshole drunk drove me into a fire hydrant...
...and I'm blind for life. He gets six months' suspended sentence.
But fuck it. I'm not going to worry about him. Fuck him.
-You swear a lot. -You're fucking-A right!
Something bothers you, fuck it. Your wife leaves you, fuck her.
Boss fires you, fuck him. Fuck it, fuck them. Fuck it, right?
-You're fucking right! -That's right.
It's a blessing to be able to do that. You're a lucky guy. I can't do it.
Well, fucking change!
Easy for you to say.
It's not easy for me to say. I'm blind.
But when you walk down the street, people want to touch you.
When you're deaf, people fear catching something.
-Like you're some kind of leper. -We're being bitter.
I accept what I can and can't do.
I don't think catching vicious scum killers...
...is something we are the best-equipped in the world to do.
Bullshit! You're an actor.
If we don't say we're deaf or blind, we can do anything.
-I guarantee it. -You do?
Right. And if you won't help me, I'll do it fucking alone...
...because I don't need you or anyone else!
Well, okay. Well, now I get the point.
Ex cusez-moi, Monsieur Hot Shit.
I'll just go have a nice hot bath and a cocktail before dinner.
Wait. We ought to cool out a little bit.
-Have a nice day. -Just keep our heads.
I figure me and you, we know a lot.
Goddamn it! How in the fuck do you expect me to get out of this shit?!
Shit's cold! Come back! We have to bury the car!
There are steps coming up. Three steps. And, one.
Oh, no!
Back, back, back. And turn. One, two, three.
And turn. Very good. That's lovely. And, go. And we go.
-Hello? -Collect call from Earvin Johnson.
-Do you accept the charges? -Yes.
-Hi, guess who? -Just tell me you're all right.
I'm great. I wish you were here with your car.
You could bring lots of money, a few beers, if possible, probably cold.
-I need a racing form and binoculars. -Where are you?
A little motel on the interstate...
...about five miles west of the George Washington.
Headquarters, this is Steely.
She's going into room 18.
Now. Now.
That's a hell of a place to park.
She's checked into room 18. Over here. Right here.
Let me have that.
This is the police. You are surrounded.
Okay, you jokers, you got 10 seconds to come out with your hands up.
Ten...
...nine...
...eight...
...seven...
...six...
-She said she was 18! -...five...
-...four, three... -The country's really cracking down.
...two...
...one.
All right, let's go!
-Goddamn them. -Take it easy, we'll find them.
Search the entire area. They must be somewhere.
For chrissakes, how far could they get? An all-cars alert!
Sgt. Keller, I need every man you can spare...
...to surround the area and comb the hills.
Damn those guys.
I'll get them. I'm gonna get them.
We gotta cover every road.
Your men have to be aware that this is a number one priority manhunt.
Dave, meet my sister, Adele. Adele, this is my dear friend, David.
-How do you do? -How do you do?
There she is. Careful, your knees.
First, we need to find a phone book. Look up this lady, "Grace George."
Then we get the coin, they come look for us and we wait with the police.
-There can't be many Grace Georges. -You mean the resort?
No, the person they're giving the coin to.
Great Gorge is a big resort in Vernon Valley.
-How do you know that? -I almost got married there.
I think David got things mix ed up.
What did she say?
She said she thinks you're an asshole!
-We're fully booked, sir. -You gotta have something.
I'm sorry, we're booked. Everything is taken by the medical convention.
People have come from all over the world. We don't have anything.
-Any cancellations? -She says there are no rooms?
I don't want to take my wife to a motel.
We're supposed to hold these till midnight.
I have a couple from London...
...a doctor from Sweden and one from Germany who still haven't arrived.
Tell you what, if none of these people show up by 10:00...
...l'll let their rooms go. But you have to wait till 10.
All right. Thank you. Can we go to the bar?
Yes, of course.
Sorry I couldn't help you.
Hi, I'm blind. Could you direct me to the ladies' room?
Oh, sure, it's right over...
Sorry. I'll show you.
Give me your hand. No, wait. The other one. Here we go.
You're Dr. Johannson from Sweden.
Johannson from Sweden.
-I'm from Sweden. -Can I help you, gentlemen?
I'm from Sweden.
-You must be Dr. Johannson. -Yo, Johannson from Sweden.
I'm a Swede, and you're a sweetie.
-Thank you. And you must be...? -I'm Dr. Kesselbaum.
You mean Kesselring?
Kesselring! Right. I forget my own name next.
You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.
There you are. You move so fast, like a little hummingbird.
You're a little sneaker. You got wings like Mercury.
You're such a nice... There he is again. You rubbed it off.
A little lunch you had left over.
-Here you are. -Danke. Danke schön.
We thought you might not make it. You had trouble with your visa?
Then they suddenly accepted American Express. Go figure!
We don't go home without it, I'll tell you that.
Here, why don't you fill these out?
Here you are, doctor. I got mine and you got yours.
We're out of double rooms. I saved you a suite with two queens.
Well, get them fellas out of there! We want to get some sleep.
Here we go. Here's your key.
Thank you. Come, doctor, we gotta get some sleep now. Make some Z's.
If you snore, I'm sending you back to Germany.
That's better than Philadelphia.
Good thing the girl remembered the sister.
Put out an APB on that convertible.
Where can they be? They couldn't have gotten far.
Who knows with these guys?
I'm telling you, these guys are getting to me.
-Take it easy, Emile. -Don't those state cops have anything?
Jesus, I have 28 years on the force, a wife and five kids.
Blind and deaf guys make me look like an asshole.
Now, that's the truth. Sam 1, over.
I think it's them.
-Nuts! -What is it?
They just went behind some trees.
There! Yes, it's them. They're going into the building.
Tell him to hurry. This isn't easy!
Hold it steady. This isn't easy.
I know where the coin is, but he's in the room.
I'll get him out of there. You just get the coin.
Wait! I need some money. I might have to buy somebody.
You all right?
Trouble.
Give me room 49, please.
What?
I told him I had enough trouble with two-wheel drive. I hate this.
It's not the end of the world, just an accident.
We're both damaged. Remove your car from my bumper...
No, he'll kill me. My husband is an insurance man, I have to file a claim.
That's not my problem. I'm in a hurry.
Wait a minute. I got my card here. Don't get ex cited. I know I have it.
-Thank you for helping me. -That's okay. That's why we're here.
I must have left my keys on the dining-room table.
-Want me to wait? -No, I've gotta go to bed.
My huge breakfast made me tired.
I got three postcards and I registered for bingo. That's a lot for one day.
-Well, you take care of yourself. -You too. Bye-bye!
I'm right here. You'll warn me if anyone comes?
I'll yell my damn head off. No one will come. Just get the coin.
You sure you put him in 357? Maybe he switched rooms.
It's not possible. There are no other rooms, Dr. Cornfeld.
I have nothing to switch to. There he is! Dr. Johannson!
Where have you been, doctor? I came to pick you up.
I'm a little bit too heavy for that, my dear.
-Did you get lost, Dr. Johannson? -"Yo-hannson." How soon we forget.
We must hurry. We can't start the seminar without the main performer.
I'll wait for him. When he comes, I'll be down...
Always joking. I had no idea you were such fun.
I'd like to introduce our panel, four eminent specialists in their field:
Dr. Saul Jenner, cardiology...
...Dr. Harold Orlow, pathology...
...Dr. Rita Bennett, ophthalmology...
...and in his first visit to the U.S...
...the eminent Swedish gynecologist, Dr. Conrad Johannson.
Yo.
Hold it right there.
Get away from there or I'll blow your brains out.
Move!
Get them up.
Come on. Hands over your head.
Both! Both of them!
You're good.
You're real good.
This is the best relationship I've had in eight years.
So long, sweetheart. Another time, another place...
...we might've had a chance. You will write, won't you?
Dr. Johannson, my question is for you.
In your paper on multiple orgasms in geriatric women...
...you attribute increased sexual appetite...
...to a lactose-restricted diet.
I know you're modest, but I really must insist on pinning you down here.
Which ex ercise would you find most beneficial to geriatric sexuality?
Oh, boy.
Well, some of my patients prefer walking.
Some prefer bicycling.
But for your best results, to guarantee satisfaction...
...most of them like fucking.
You know:
I like it myself. One in the morning and late at night.
Put everything back in your purse and move your...
But if he leaves me, what will happen to me and the twins?
I don't know anyone. People never treat me as nicely as you.
-I've been very rude. -You're right, I'm leaving.
-You must move your car. -I'll leave.
It's against my car. Look...
Where the hell were you?
Sorry, there was an accident. This woman rammed into our Spider.
It was all very simple till she made it complicated.
But why can't you give me numbers? Why are you being so evasive?
-What is it? -What's wrong?
Shooting pains in my head. My eyes! Oh, boy, it's a bummer!
-I can't see. Take me to my room. -Let me have a look.
Look at what? Don't look! Get your hands off of me!
Stop acting like a baby. Let me have a peek.
Don't touch that head!
Whatever you do, don't you touch it.
-Who are you? -Fine, thank you.
Just relax. Everything will be fine. I'm right here.
-I thought you'd never come. -Do you know what's wrong?
Of course I know what's wrong. It's called "Blindness Hystericus."
-Oh, my God! -Sometimes it comes just like that.
-How do you treat it? -The left and right brain...
...are fighting with each other. You must distract them.
Now, Dr. Johannson...
...how many fingers am I holding up right now?
-Three! -Good.
That's pretty good, considering he's blind.
Now, doctor, I want you to just relax. Take it easy...
...and you tell me the first thing that pops into your brain.
Pussy.
It's amazing! This man is cured. Come on, doctor.
Let's take a walk, get the heart pumping. Then you'll be brand-new.
-That's it. Easy. -Where's Adele?
I don't know. She's not in the room.
If he gets too ex cited, it comes right back.
Gently. Take it easy. This guy's blind as a bat.
Watch your step. What's the matter with you?
-You got a Lyons and Kerew registered? -I'll check. I'm sorry, no one's...
-One's blind, one's deaf. You sure? -I'm sure. I checked.
-Could you identify them by pictures? -I'll try.
-ls there a security officer? -Right behind you.
Single file. Single file.
Okay, take it easy. Take it easy.
Ex cuse me. Where's the little red Alfa?
-They just took off. -Who?
Three of them. A lady with great legs...
...an English guy and a black woman.
My God. My sister.
The man, he asked me to give this to you.
"If you want the girl, bring the coin to the house with a thousand windows."
-ls this a joke? -That's the Sutherland Estate.
I hope you have an invitation. He's got some mean dogs there.
-Dogs? -Dobermans. They're killers.
Do you have our keys with you?
-Just do me a favor. -Sure.
If we're not back in 30 minutes, call the police.
New York Police Department. Ask for Captain Braddock.
And tell him... Sorry, Wally.
Tell him Lyons and Kerew are at the Sutherland Estate.
The house is all glass, and it's on huge rocks.
-My sister? -Nothing yet.
There's a lot of land here.
-There! -What?
It's a greenhouse. There she is.
-ls she all right? -I think so.
There are the dogs. Three of them.
Now they're leaving.
They're going. They're locking the door.
They're going back to the main house.
She'll be all alone in about two minutes.
-You all clear on the plan? -Clear as a bell.
I'm gonna go water the plants, if you don't mind.
You sure there's only three dogs?
I better take a look.
The parking brake has been released.
Just three. I don't see what could go wrong.
You hear that? Better check the brake!
I'm in trouble!
Pull out!
Where are you?
I can't...
Talk to me.
Speak to me!
Talk to me! Talk to me!
I can hear the car, but I can't hear you!
I can't see you, Dave.
Thank you.
Oh, Dave. My God, what have I done this time?
Oh, shit!
Did you say something? Talk to me.
I can't see your lips. What are you saying?
Can you see them now?
There you are.
What are you saying?
I'm saying...
...I think it's over.
I didn't just fuck my life up today.
I dragged my sister into this shit. I damn near got her killed.
And I hurt you.
I just want to say I'm sorry.
Don't back out on me.
I've been running on fumes most of my life.
And today I realized for the first time: I'm full of shit.
Well, that's true.
But this morning, I threatened to shoot a naked woman...
...with my erection. Now that doesn't happen every day.
That's true. The man's got a point.
We'll get her out, Wally. We'll get her out.
We're in over our heads.
Nobody ever thought we would get this far.
Don't back out on me now.
-I can't. -You can.
We can, I promise. We can.
What if we can't?
Fuck it.
Damn you. I created a monster.
Where's the girl?
-ln the greenhouse. They can see her. -Good.
And when can we expect our two guests?
They should be here any moment.
Do they...
...have the coin?
Yes, they have the coin.
Wonderful.
-What do you think? -Lot of trouble over a gold piece.
This isn't gold. Gold doesn't chip and peel away like this.
Doesn't matter, as long as they want it so bad.
Keep it, in case anything happens to me.
-Nothing's gonna happen. -Glad to find that out.
-Ready? -Ready.
Okay, Wally.
Start counting.
One...
...two, three...
...four, five...
...sixteen, seventeen...
There's a dog. There's a dog! There's a dog!
No, Dave, no. There's an alarm! There's an alarm.
No, Dave!
So far, so good.
Almost. There.
Now, what's all the fuss about?
I was gonna mention the alarm...
...but something else came up.
-Who is it? -I was so hoping you'd show up.
Oh, sorry about the flowers.
You like roses, huh?
That's enough, Herman. Just keep your gun pointed on him.
I'll check if he has the coin.
Hands over your head, Mr. Lyons. Remember?
Turn around.
Careful. You remember what happened last time.
Hit her! Hit her, Dave! Smack her!
Hit her! Hit her, Dave! What's...?
Hit her!
-Jesus! -I grew up with brothers. Let's go.
You have to run up that log.
I don't have that many brothers.
David!
-Go! -I don't want to leave you!
Go on. Wally's just on top of that hill.
Go on! Get out of here. Get out!
Jump! Get the police!
Here's the blind one.
Come in, Mr. Kerew. I'm delighted to see you.
I'm delighted too.
So you're the fat fuck that runs this show.
Beautifully put, Mr. Kerew.
You're obviously a poet, a man after my own heart.
-The coin? -lt's in my pocket.
May I have it, please?
Why bother with a phony coin?
You're quite right, Mr. Kerew, it's a phony.
A magnificent phony. May I have it, please?
Mind telling me what I've been running around risking my life for?
A superconductor.
A room-temperature superconductor.
It may be the most valuable material in this world.
Imagine cable the size of that coin...
...that could light up an entire city.
You told me it was a coin.
That was just a handy way to get it out of Washington...
...after I'd arranged to borrow a small sample.
I'm currently pointing a gun at your head.
Don't you think...
...that you and I should renegotiate our contract?
Yes, I do. I agree with you completely.
What would you say to...
...one third of $8 million?
Would you say that's fair?
I'd say that that's extremely...
What happened?
I turned out the lights, just for a moment.
Just long enough to gain the advantage.
I get the feeling I'm not the only blind person in this room.
You have great intuition, Mr. Kerew.
I also suspect you have ex cellent hearing, like myself.
A few sounds were all I needed to lock in on poor Mr. Kirgo.
It's too bad.
I liked him. He was a gentleman.
I can't see, but I bet you're not crying.
Nor can I see your face, Mr. Kerew...
...yet I can hear you stoop down to find the pistol.
Am I right, sir?
Must I put a bullet through you to prove it?
Oh, no. You're a gentleman. One murder a day is enough for you.
Did I hear something drop, Mr. Kerew?
-Mr. Sutherland? -Perfect timing. Come in, my dear.
I've brought the other one.
Wally.
Are you all right?
You're very quiet, Mr. Kerew.
Suddenly gone shy, have we?
Adele got away. The police will be here any minute.
You'd better tell me what happened to Mr. Kirgo, Mr. Sutherland.
Certainly, my dear.
Mr. Kirgo decided to renegotiate his contract...
...and he put a pistol to my head.
We've been associated for five years.
I have no intention of killing you.
So don't be frightened, dear.
And please, don't do anything rash.
No, I wouldn't do that. You know I trust you, Mr. Sutherland.
But what are your intentions?
To leave the country as soon as the helicopter arrives.
I invite you to come along.
Rio can be captivating this time of year.
Just pick up the gold coin...
...I believe is on the floor in front of you.
I don't see it.
Look in Mr. Kirgo's left hand. I think he may be holding it.
Did you find it, my dear?
Yes.
Yes, I found it.
Would you hand it to me, please?
What would my share be?
One...
...half of $8 million.
Would you say that's fair?
Yes. Yes, I think that's very fair.
Dave! What's going on?
Dave?
Dave? What just happened?
Mr. Sutherland is no longer with us.
Dave? Dave!
I'm right here, Wally.
I hear sirens. The police will be here soon.
If you drop that pistol now, you'll make...
...license plates for a few years.
I'll even wait for you.
Thanks. That's real sweet.
But you see...
...you're the ones they're looking for.
Not me.
If I get on that helicopter with the coin, I get out of here clean.
You're too tall for me anyway.
I'm afraid I'll have to lock you in.
Sorry.
Damn, she smells good.
Jail ain't so bad, if you like it up the butt.
-I'm over here, Wally. -Over where, Dave?
Dave? Dave? Da...
Shit, who the hell I'm talking to? He can't hear me.
-She's running to the helicopter. -Nice air conditioning she made.
-You ever want to be in the circus? -No, afraid of heights.
-Would you give me your jacket? -What for?
There. This should be fun.
-Ready? -We're not up high?
No, just a few feet off the ground.
-Ready, and... -I'm ready!
I knocked over a tree! You said we wasn't high!
I'll kill you, you fuck!
We're not up in the air? What do you mean? You said we wasn't...
...up in the air!
Get ready. Bomb-bay doors open!
-Now! Start it up! -Get ready to fire!
And fire one!
Fire two!
What are you doing?
I learnt this at the Braille Institute.
They told us to feel around, and see what's happening.
Stop! Get your hands off me!
Stop! Hold it right there!
Stop, or I'll throw your brains out!
-I'll throw this right through you! -Freeze!
-Do as I say, or you're a dead man. -Turn around!
Face front!
Better. Put your hands over your head.
-Get them up! -Get your hands up!
You do speak English. Come on over here.
Get your ass over here.
-Quickly, quickly! -Slowly!
Come on, come on.
Not now, Wally, I'm busy.
Come on, keep coming...
...you funny little turd.
Hey, Tarzan, turn around and take a look.
When did you get here?
I sure was worried about you two.
It's all over.
Goodbye, captain.
Captain Braddock, you're a dickhead.
-You son of a bitch. -No, captain!
-I got a surprise for you! -You can't do that.
I know the law. I get to shoot them.
-No, you can't. -What do you mean?
Captain, we got the real killer. We got him.
Are you saying I can't shoot them?
No, sir, I'm afraid you can't.
We went to all this trouble to catch them, and now I can't shoot them?
It's time to go. Come on.
I want to shoot them. I want to shoot them!
No, no. We'll get a nice hot chocolate.
Why can't I shoot them?
-We had a damn good time, didn't we? -Yeah.
Lot of nice memories.
There's something I've wanted to do since the day I met you.
-That was two days ago. -That's right. That's right.
There's something I wanted to give you.
Dave, you don't have to give me anything.
You're a real nice guy.
-But I want to give it to you. -Dave, please, listen to me.
-I have a lot of love for you. -Thank you.
So tell me, how does it feel to be handicapped? Always wanted to ask.
I'm not handicapped. I have you.
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