1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:30,489 Spend all day with us. There are two - you heard me - 3 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:34,493 two of everything in every Noah's Arcade. 4 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:39,331 That means two of Zantar, Bay Wolf, Ninja Commando, 5 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,375 Snake-azon, Psycho Chopper... 6 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,502 It's good seeing you, Benjamin. 7 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,213 You haven't been to Shakey's for so long. 8 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,090 Well, I've been real busy. 9 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:51,051 It's two for you cos one won't do. 10 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:54,304 All this week, kids under six get every fifth... 11 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:58,517 There's a new pet. Chia Pet, the pottery that grows... 12 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,728 ..they are very fast. 13 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,149 ..simple. Plug it in, insert the plug from anything. 14 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,442 Simple. 15 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,737 ..even for our customers in Waukegan, Elgin and Aurora, 16 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,489 we'll be there right on time. 17 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,907 So call! 18 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,672 - All right! Excellent! - Excellent. 19 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:32,176 OK. Extreme close-up! 20 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,936 - Excellent. - Excellent extreme close-up. 21 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:46,773 Now it's Wayne's World's Totally Amazing Excellent Discoveries. 22 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:50,485 Our guest is Ron Paxton. Welcome to Wayne's World, Ron. 23 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,862 Thanks, Wayne. 24 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,073 Now, you're the inventor of the Suck Kut, right? 25 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,658 What exactly is it? 26 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:59,703 The Suck Kut is a revolution in home hair cutting. 27 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:03,248 Wow! What a totally amazing excellent discovery. 28 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,583 Well, yes. 29 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,669 Fireworks! 30 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:14,092 Now, Ron, the question on everybody's mind is, how does it work? 31 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,929 I'm prepared for a complete demonstration. 32 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:21,016 OK, Garth, sit there. He's gonna put that thing on your melon, OK? 33 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,227 Just a trim. Don't buzz me, OK? 34 00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:32,528 So tell me, Ron. Exactly how does the Suck Kut work? 35 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:36,823 Well, as you can see, it sucks as it cuts. 36 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,284 It certainly does suck. 37 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,789 What are we looking at? 38 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,542 Wayne's World. They do it from their basement. 39 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,674 - People watch this? - Yeah, lots. 40 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:57,511 Turn it off, man! Turn it off! It's sucking my will to live! 41 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,513 Oh, the humanity! 42 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,726 - You want to hand me the telephone? - Sure. 43 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:10,023 Russell? It's Benjamin. Are you watching TV? 44 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,776 Listen, could you turn it to channel 10? 45 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:17,489 I want you to find out who these guys are and where they do their show. 46 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,867 I think we can sell it to Vanderhoff. 47 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,577 Take your Ritalin, OK? 48 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,246 - OK, you're in a forest. - Forest? 49 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,248 With Heather Locklear. 50 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,251 - With Heather? - And you're very warm. Very... 51 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,502 - ..warm? - Warm. 52 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:34,464 - These guys are so funny. - Oh, they're obviously brilliant. 53 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:45,100 Wow! What a totally amazing excellent discovery...not! 54 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,310 Thanks, Ron. 55 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,814 OK, time's up for this week. Until then, good night! 56 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,317 - Party on, Wayne. - Party on, Garth. 57 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:04,036 And...we're clear! 58 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,954 - All right! - Excellent! 59 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,709 - All right! Excellent! - Excellent! 60 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:14,755 Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. 61 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:18,926 I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago. 62 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,344 Excellent. 63 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,304 I've had plenty of joe jobs. 64 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:27,309 Nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way... 65 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:31,438 I have an extensive collection of name tags and hairnets. 66 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:39,530 OK, I still live with my parents, which I admit is both bogus and sad, 67 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,533 but I've got an amazing cable access show, 68 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,535 and I still know how to party. 69 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:48,330 But what I'd really love is to do Wayne's World for a living. 70 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,790 It might happen. 71 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,334 Sh'yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt. 72 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,253 Ah, the mirthmobile. 73 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,804 This is my best friend Garth Algar. 74 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,055 Hi. 75 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:08,809 I think a little Bohemian Rhapsody, gentlemen. 76 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,269 Good call. 77 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:45,095 Whoa! It's Phil. 78 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:54,813 Phil, what are you doing here? You're partied out, man...again. 79 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:59,234 - What if he honks in the car? - I'm giving you a no-honk guarantee. 80 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:07,284 Phil, um, if you're gonna spew, spew into this. 81 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:08,470 - Garth, pull over. - Oh, man! Come on! 82 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,138 Not again. 83 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:18,772 He does this every Friday. Stop torturing yourself, man! 84 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:22,943 You'll never afford it! Live in the now! 85 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:30,158 It will be mine. Oh, yes... It will be mine. 86 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:13,118 Hey, Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party! 87 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,499 Excellent! Way to go! 88 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,085 Party on, Wayne! 89 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,510 Hey, Campbell. Uno momento, fellas. 90 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,804 Officer Koharski, how's it going? 91 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,473 Fine. 92 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:38,018 Say, I smell bacon. Does anyone else smell bacon? 93 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:41,897 Yeah, I definitely smell a pork product of some type. 94 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,316 Yeah, yeah. I know what you're doing. 95 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:48,737 Bacon, pig, oink-oink, police officer. 96 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,073 I said that to cops when I was your age. 97 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,659 Hey, what are you up to? 98 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:57,496 I just pulled over a tour bus on its way to Chicago. 99 00:08:57,579 --> 00:09:00,916 We had a tip there was some drug smuggling going down. 100 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,584 We searched the vehicle. 101 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:05,838 It was clean, so we did the body cavity searches. 102 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,756 - No way. - Way! 103 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,843 I inspected 1 2, inside and out. 104 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:19,226 OK, this guy needs coffee and crullers stat! 105 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,937 We got to get him to rampart. Let's go! 106 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:29,111 This is Stan Mikita's Donuts. Excellent munch post. 107 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:34,366 This is the manager, Glen. He's here 24 hours a day. 108 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:38,579 I recommend the sugar pucks. They're excellent. Come on. 109 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:42,416 I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. 110 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:46,253 Why is it if a man kills another in battle it's called heroic, 111 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:49,339 yet in the heat of passion it's called murder? 112 00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,050 Hello! What do you think you're doing? 113 00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:55,679 Only me and Garth get to talk to the camera. Come on. 114 00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:01,268 I don't really have too much to say right now. 115 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,978 What's that? 116 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,857 Hi, Mr Withers. How's the amusement park? 117 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,568 Just great, Wayne. 118 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:13,155 Four coffees and a half dozen crullers, please. 119 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,781 And one jelly donut. 120 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:20,412 There's your girlfriend, Garth. Sh'yeah! 121 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,520 Excuse me. I fell. 122 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:48,607 Don't you guys ever get tired of ordering the same thing? 123 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,859 No. 124 00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:53,862 - Uh-oh. Don't look. Stacy. - Where? 125 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:58,116 Oh, God. I made eye contact. 126 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,077 Psycho hose beast. 127 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,042 Happy anniversary, Wayne. 128 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:11,213 - Stacy, we broke up two months ago. - It doesn't mean we can't go out. 129 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:14,883 Well, it does, actually. That's what breaking up is. 130 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:17,052 You going to the Gasworks tonight? 131 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,679 - No! - No! 132 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,807 Don't you wanna open your present? 133 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,393 If it's a severed head, I'll be very upset. 134 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,980 - Open it. - OK. OK. 135 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,987 - What is it? - It's a gun rack. 136 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:40,117 A gun rack? A gun rack. Sh'yeah, great. 137 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,119 I don't even own a gun, 138 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,289 let alone many guns necessitating an entire rack. 139 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,917 What am I gonna do with a gun rack? 140 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,920 You don't like it? Fine. 141 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:56,800 Wayne, if you're not careful, you're gonna lose me. 142 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:59,094 I lost you two months ago. 143 00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:02,848 Are you mental? We broke up. Get the net! 144 00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:22,534 - Wayne! - Hey! 145 00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:25,287 How you doing? Garth! 146 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,789 Hey, Tiny, who's playing tonight? 147 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,334 Jolly Green Giants, Shitty Beatles. 148 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,086 The Shitty Beatles? Are they any good? 149 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:36,507 - They suck. - Then it's not just a clever name? 150 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,883 Who else? 151 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,219 Crucial Taunt, just finishing. 152 00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:43,388 - I hear they can wail. - You're right. Party on. 153 00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:45,140 Party on. 154 00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:00,364 This is the Gasworks, an excellent heavy metal bar. 155 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,825 - Always a babefest. - And they got a pool table, too. 156 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,543 Party! Excuse me. 157 00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:20,509 Excuse me. 158 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,553 Excuse me. 159 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,805 - What? - I'd like to get by now. 160 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:28,183 Get out of my face, you little dweeb. 161 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,398 Excuse me. 162 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,903 What do you want, you little dweeb? 163 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:33,540 Thank you. 164 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,221 She's a babe! 165 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,396 Fight! Fight! Fight! 166 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,325 All right. 167 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,080 I love this woman. 168 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,002 Hey, Raymond, club soda with a lime, please. 169 00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,879 And would you get me a towel? 170 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:05,465 - Boy, you really wail. - Thanks. 171 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:08,886 You're that party time guy on TV. Wayne, right? 172 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,262 Yes, and you are? 173 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,181 Cassandra. 174 00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:15,517 Rough night, huh? Everybody's kung fu fighting. 175 00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:20,689 Yeah. Well, nice meeting you. 176 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:23,025 Hey, hold on! Can I call you sometime? 177 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,068 For $5, come to the rent party. 178 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,738 - It's at my loft. - I'm there. 179 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:32,784 I gotta go. The owner's trying to dick me out of some money. 180 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,123 See how many people I brought in? 181 00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:40,334 That bass player's a babe. 182 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,170 She makes me feel kind of funny, 183 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:47,132 like when we used to climb the rope in gym class. 184 00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:49,801 You said I get cash up front. 185 00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:55,015 She will be mine. Oh, yes... She will be mine. 186 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:10,239 Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon? 187 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,139 Garth, sit there. He's gonna put that on your melon. 188 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,393 OK, just a trim. Don't buzz me, OK? 189 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,444 Russell, stop the tape. 190 00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,989 So, what do you think? 191 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,742 I think it's two chimps on a davenport in a basement. 192 00:17:55,826 --> 00:17:57,661 I'm not sponsoring this. 193 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:01,123 I got spots on Love Boat, but this? What is this? 194 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,834 Mr Vanderhoff, this is your audience. 195 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,503 The same kids that line up at Noah's Arcade. 196 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:09,256 - It looks so cheesy. - That's where I come in. 197 00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:13,594 Russell's our best producer. He does Chicago PM with Elaine Ronkey, 198 00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:16,763 Sunshine Saturday, The African American Digest. 199 00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,807 - Never heard of that. - It's on late. 200 00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:20,225 It won several awards. 201 00:18:20,309 --> 00:18:22,394 Well, I'll stick with Love Boat. 202 00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:26,815 If I may, speaking from a producer-director standpoint, 203 00:18:26,899 --> 00:18:28,942 kids can relate to this show. 204 00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,861 These guys aren't phonies. 205 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,322 Kids can spot phonies. They're very smart. 206 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,200 Kids know dick. I watch 'em in my arcades. 207 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:40,787 They stand like lab rats hitting the feeder bar to get food pellets. 208 00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:44,166 As long as they pump in quarters, who gives a shit? 209 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:46,835 Let me ask you. 210 00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:50,714 What's your single biggest problem in the arcade business? 211 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:55,052 Well, uh, keeping the customer informed of new product. 212 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,346 Like our new game called Zantar. 213 00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:01,141 Zantar is a gelatinous cube that eats warriors in a village. 214 00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:03,894 If you eat a chieftain, you go up a level. 215 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,647 Beauty is, you can't get to the next level, 216 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,774 kids keep coughing up quarters. 217 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,445 Gelatinous cube eats village. It's terrific. 218 00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:16,907 I know nothing about video games. I found that riveting. 219 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,952 - I do my own commercials. - I did not know that. 220 00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:21,703 I don't mention the games 221 00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:25,457 because the technology moves faster than the advertising. 222 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,252 I did not realise that. Russell, did you? 223 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:29,878 No, I did not realise that. 224 00:19:29,962 --> 00:19:34,550 So, Mr Vanderhoff, let me see if I'm hearing you correctly. 225 00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:38,595 Are you saying that if you had a spot, say, on a weekly show, 226 00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,389 you could come on the show 227 00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:43,809 and update the kids on what was new in your arcade? 228 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,728 Yeah, that's it. 229 00:19:46,812 --> 00:19:49,189 - Well, I'm impressed. - Wow! 230 00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:54,695 Noah's Arcade presents Wayne's World. I think that's brilliant. 231 00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:56,113 Brilliant. 232 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:59,741 - Well, thank you. - We'll get right to work on this. 233 00:19:59,825 --> 00:20:03,495 We'll send the contracts over. We'll be in touch. 234 00:20:03,579 --> 00:20:06,832 Well... I'd like to think about this. 235 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:10,878 Oh, of course you would. I wouldn't have it any other way. 236 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,549 - She'll validate you. - Thank you. 237 00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:20,220 He's in. 238 00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:29,646 Stop it! You're scaring me. 239 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:33,275 Oh, cool. You're learning Cassandra's language. 240 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:36,945 I've never seen you so mental over a girl before. 241 00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:38,655 Are you gonna marry her? 242 00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:42,326 Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries. 243 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:45,746 - OK, you passed inspection. - All right. 244 00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:47,498 Just barely. 245 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:51,001 Uh, OK, that's $42.57, Wayne - parts and labour. 246 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,628 - No way. - Brutal. 247 00:20:52,711 --> 00:20:55,714 - Oh, OK. There you go. - All right, we got it. 248 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,466 - That's not enough. - What? 249 00:20:57,549 --> 00:21:01,053 - We got...that. - That's good, but I need more. 250 00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:05,265 - Oh, man! Why don't you use a gun? - It's not my fault. Come on. 251 00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:09,228 - I suppose it's society's fault? - More. 252 00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,314 - Cool. - All right. 253 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,942 Well, here's an extra dollar. 254 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:20,364 You guys shoulda been at Gasworks Friday. 255 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:23,367 - Yeah, we were. - This band, Crucial Taunt, 256 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:26,245 they had this megababe lead singer...unreal! 257 00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:30,290 Phil, we were there. Have you gone mental? Hello? 258 00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:33,418 - I think we should go now. - Here you go. 259 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:54,064 You think it's wise to sell a show we don't own? 260 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:57,442 - By tonight, we will. - Ah! 261 00:22:03,657 --> 00:22:07,161 Excuse me. Do you know where we could find Wayne Campbell? 262 00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:11,707 - That's privileged information. - Where do they broadcast from? 263 00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:15,711 - Are you a friend or a relative? - We're neither. 264 00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:20,757 You know, Russell, I may not have grown up around here, 265 00:22:20,841 --> 00:22:22,968 but I understand these people. 266 00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:25,721 This must be the place. 267 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:32,561 OK, we're just about out of time, right? 268 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:35,230 But let's give a Wayne's World salute 269 00:22:35,314 --> 00:22:37,774 to the Guess? jeans girl, Claudia Schiffer. 270 00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:44,198 - Tent pole! She's a babe. - She's magically babelicious. 271 00:22:44,281 --> 00:22:47,075 She tested very high on the strokability scale. 272 00:22:50,162 --> 00:22:53,874 Are you through yet? I'm getting tired of holding this. 273 00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:55,834 Yeah, that's what she said. 274 00:22:58,045 --> 00:23:01,507 OK, so Claudia Schiffer, we salute you. 275 00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:05,886 OK, that's all, good night. 276 00:23:05,969 --> 00:23:08,639 - Party on, Wayne. - Party on, Garth. 277 00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:19,191 And...we're clear. 278 00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:22,653 - OK. Excellent show, everyone. - Excellent. 279 00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:26,615 Great show. Wayne, Benjamin Kane. 280 00:23:26,698 --> 00:23:30,494 Regional Programme Director, Oliver Communications. 281 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:32,746 Russell Findley. We spoke today. Hi. 282 00:23:32,830 --> 00:23:35,624 Maybe we can go somewhere and get acquainted? 283 00:23:35,707 --> 00:23:38,961 Russell, get to know the crew. You know anywhere nice? 284 00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,505 - Hi. Hi. - See you guys later! 285 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,719 Let me get this out of the way... 286 00:23:47,803 --> 00:23:50,639 - I'm a big fan. - You are? 287 00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:54,351 The way I see it, your show's capable of so much more. 288 00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:57,604 We'll try harder, OK? Give us a second chance. 289 00:23:57,688 --> 00:24:00,357 Don't cancel us without a second chance. 290 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,360 Garth, come on, relax, all right? Your pills? 291 00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:06,488 He can't cancel us. We're on public access. 292 00:24:06,572 --> 00:24:09,950 Can I be honest? My job, it's usually such a bore. 293 00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:13,120 But the other day something incredible happened. 294 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,414 - What happened? - Noah Vanderhoff, 295 00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:19,668 owner of the largest video arcade chain in Chicago, is in my office. 296 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:23,839 He asks me, "What's with this Wayne's World I hear so much about?" 297 00:24:23,922 --> 00:24:28,260 Well, I have all your shows on tape. Like I said, I'm a fan. 298 00:24:28,343 --> 00:24:31,597 I put a show in. He literally jumped out of his seat. 299 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:32,723 Cool! 300 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:36,685 He wants to sponsor the show, put you on our station, 301 00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:38,729 and pay you guys a huge salary. 302 00:24:38,812 --> 00:24:42,608 He doesn't realise you're artists, not interested in money. 303 00:24:42,691 --> 00:24:46,612 - No, we're not interested in money. - That's what I told him. 304 00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:51,200 But he said, "Take two cheques anyway so they know I'm serious." 305 00:24:51,283 --> 00:24:56,205 I may be wasting my time, but here I am with the contract 306 00:24:56,288 --> 00:25:00,792 and two cashier's cheques for $5,000 each. 307 00:25:00,876 --> 00:25:03,754 Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? 308 00:25:03,837 --> 00:25:07,090 You're going to pay us for doing Wayne's World? 309 00:25:07,174 --> 00:25:09,968 Give me the word. I'll tear up these cheques. 310 00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:15,307 He shoots, he scores! 311 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,894 Well. Would you like to look at the contracts? 312 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,938 - Yes. - Do you have a lawyer? 313 00:25:21,021 --> 00:25:24,525 Yes. Uh...no. We're between lawyers right now. 314 00:25:24,608 --> 00:25:27,903 Our first lawyer screwed our affairs so badly. 315 00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:29,071 That's right. 316 00:25:29,154 --> 00:25:33,909 I walked right into that office, I grabbed him by his big fat head, 317 00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:37,704 and I said, "I'm not going to jail for you or anybody!" 318 00:25:37,788 --> 00:25:39,998 Exactly. 319 00:25:41,917 --> 00:25:45,170 Can I peruse that contract before we sign it? 320 00:25:50,217 --> 00:25:53,136 Yes... Yes. 321 00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:55,556 I like what you've done here. 322 00:25:58,016 --> 00:25:59,601 Yes... Yes... 323 00:25:59,685 --> 00:26:01,603 I dropped my pen. 324 00:26:01,687 --> 00:26:06,567 I'm not so sure about... Oh, I see. I see. 325 00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:10,362 Hi. Um, does this seem weird? Why does he have contracts? 326 00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:13,949 Ever see the Twilight Zone where the guy signed a contract 327 00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:17,035 and they cut out his tongue and it wouldn't die, 328 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,747 it grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? 329 00:26:20,831 --> 00:26:25,878 - Pretty cool, huh? I gotta go. - Oh, I like this part. 330 00:26:25,961 --> 00:26:29,715 Well, I feel we can work with you on this project. 331 00:26:29,798 --> 00:26:33,385 Well, you've made Mr Vanderhoff a very happy man. 332 00:26:35,429 --> 00:26:40,184 - To Wayne's World. - To Wayne's World. 333 00:26:40,267 --> 00:26:43,854 We got $5,000, we got $5,000 334 00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:47,774 We got $5,000, we got $5,000... 335 00:26:47,858 --> 00:26:49,776 Hey, Wayne. Check it out. 336 00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:53,530 We got $5,000, we got $5,000 337 00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:07,544 Party! 338 00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:13,175 Great party, huh, guys? 339 00:27:22,851 --> 00:27:24,686 Uh-oh. Stacy alert! 340 00:27:27,231 --> 00:27:31,026 We've been spotted and we're being pulled in by her tractor beam. 341 00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:33,028 - I gotta go. - We gotta go! 342 00:28:11,817 --> 00:28:13,861 God, she's amazing. 343 00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:20,200 Wayne, Wayne, Garth told me about the show, man. 344 00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,452 I love you, man. 345 00:28:22,536 --> 00:28:24,663 Yeah, and I love you, too, Terry. 346 00:28:24,746 --> 00:28:27,833 No, I mean it, man. I love you. 347 00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:32,629 - No, I mean it. I love you. - No, you don't, man. 348 00:28:35,966 --> 00:28:40,429 Garth, come over here! I think Terry has something to say to you. 349 00:28:40,512 --> 00:28:42,848 I love you, man. 350 00:28:42,931 --> 00:28:44,725 Thank you. 351 00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:23,096 Your vocals are incredible. 352 00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:24,932 Thanks. 353 00:29:25,015 --> 00:29:27,059 You have a very interesting look. 354 00:29:28,852 --> 00:29:31,230 Oh, I'm not trying to pick up on you. 355 00:29:31,313 --> 00:29:32,523 Good thing. 356 00:29:32,606 --> 00:29:36,902 No, I'm producing a TV show. It's in Chicago. Very late night. 357 00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:42,866 We need a music act. Here's my card. Is there a number I can reach you at? 358 00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:45,118 We got fliers at the door. 359 00:29:50,833 --> 00:29:52,125 Hello. 360 00:30:14,106 --> 00:30:17,901 - Hi. Wanna go somewhere and talk? - Sure. 361 00:30:27,411 --> 00:30:30,372 - What's going on in there? - Just a minute! 362 00:30:30,455 --> 00:30:35,169 We'd like to go to the bathroom, please...in this century. 363 00:30:35,252 --> 00:30:39,464 - How long you been waiting? - Like, an hour now. 364 00:30:41,550 --> 00:30:44,428 - Hi, Garth. - Hi. 365 00:30:44,511 --> 00:30:46,013 I'm looking for Wayne. 366 00:30:46,096 --> 00:30:49,224 He seems to be going through a difficult phase. 367 00:30:49,308 --> 00:30:52,603 - You know what I think it is? - That you're mental? 368 00:30:52,686 --> 00:30:54,688 You know him best. What should I do? 369 00:30:54,771 --> 00:30:56,899 Get over it. Go out with somebody else. 370 00:30:56,982 --> 00:30:58,942 Get over it. Go out with somebody else. 371 00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:00,652 Yeah, thanks. OK, great. 372 00:31:02,613 --> 00:31:03,947 Hi. 373 00:31:05,657 --> 00:31:07,701 So who's this guy Benjamin? 374 00:31:07,784 --> 00:31:10,621 Only one of the most important producers in TV. 375 00:31:10,704 --> 00:31:13,874 He's way ahead of his time. We've signed with him. 376 00:31:13,957 --> 00:31:17,753 - He's based in Chicago. - He's interested in the band. 377 00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:20,756 Of course. I love your band. You guys wail. 378 00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:23,926 - Thanks. - You kick ass. Double live gonzo! 379 00:31:24,009 --> 00:31:26,512 Intensity in 10 cities. Live at Budokan. 380 00:31:26,595 --> 00:31:29,515 If you got a break, you could make it. 381 00:31:29,598 --> 00:31:33,060 And if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass hopping. 382 00:31:33,143 --> 00:31:37,481 Interesting. Where did you learn English? 383 00:31:37,564 --> 00:31:40,984 College. And the Police Academy movies. 384 00:31:45,197 --> 00:31:47,825 Cassandra... 385 00:31:47,908 --> 00:31:50,828 I've got something I want to say to you. 386 00:31:57,209 --> 00:31:59,044 Campbell, that's amazing! 387 00:31:59,127 --> 00:32:02,297 You learned to say I look pretty in Cantonese. 388 00:32:04,967 --> 00:32:07,052 And you are a handsome man. 389 00:32:07,135 --> 00:32:12,182 Slowly, I'm still learning. 390 00:32:12,266 --> 00:32:16,562 I can't get over it, you're learning Cantonese. Even your accent is good. 391 00:32:17,271 --> 00:32:20,357 - Hi, Wayne! - Hello, Stacy. 392 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,568 Here, sit right here. 393 00:32:22,651 --> 00:32:26,572 - Who is that? - My ex-girlfriend. 394 00:32:30,617 --> 00:32:35,205 She has very nice legs, but no self-esteem. 395 00:32:36,331 --> 00:32:40,544 The irony is, I feel partly responsible 396 00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:43,380 for her self-nullifying behaviour. 397 00:32:47,843 --> 00:32:50,345 You're allowing yourself to be victimised. 398 00:32:50,429 --> 00:32:52,598 Have you been effectively assertive? 399 00:32:52,681 --> 00:32:56,727 I've made a confident declaration in defence of my rights, 400 00:32:56,810 --> 00:32:59,104 but it does not seem to do any good. 401 00:32:59,188 --> 00:33:02,149 If I help her out of feelings of obligation, 402 00:33:02,232 --> 00:33:04,401 I may find myself resenting her. 403 00:33:04,484 --> 00:33:06,945 Besides, she's a psycho hose beast. 404 00:33:08,822 --> 00:33:12,618 That is very funny. But labelling people can be dangerous. 405 00:33:12,701 --> 00:33:18,123 Was it Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten who said, 406 00:33:18,207 --> 00:33:23,253 "If you label me, you negate me?" 407 00:33:25,130 --> 00:33:28,967 - You make me laugh. - Can I call you? 408 00:33:29,051 --> 00:33:30,928 Any time. 409 00:33:31,512 --> 00:33:33,138 Excellent. 410 00:33:35,390 --> 00:33:36,391 Look out! 411 00:34:21,895 --> 00:34:26,775 Sometimes I wish I could boldly go where no man's gone before. 412 00:34:26,859 --> 00:34:29,403 But I'll probably stay in Aurora. 413 00:34:31,155 --> 00:34:34,366 - What are you thinking about? - Cassandra. 414 00:34:34,449 --> 00:34:35,701 She's a fox. 415 00:34:35,784 --> 00:34:38,328 In France, she'd be called la renard. 416 00:34:38,412 --> 00:34:41,331 Hunted, with only her cunning to protect her. 417 00:34:41,415 --> 00:34:44,293 - She's a babe. - She's a robo babe. 418 00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:47,296 In Latin, she'd be called Babia Majora. 419 00:34:47,379 --> 00:34:50,382 If she were a president, she'd be Baberaham Lincoln. 420 00:34:58,015 --> 00:35:02,603 Did you find Bugs Bunny attractive in a dress playing a girl bunny? 421 00:35:04,354 --> 00:35:05,981 No. 422 00:35:11,778 --> 00:35:13,030 No. 423 00:35:13,113 --> 00:35:15,782 Neither did I. I was just asking. 424 00:35:17,659 --> 00:35:19,953 OK. OK. Keep looking up! 425 00:35:20,037 --> 00:35:21,079 OK. 426 00:35:44,603 --> 00:35:48,774 Guys, I will be talking to the cameramen on the headset. 427 00:35:48,857 --> 00:35:50,901 Terry will give you hand cues. 428 00:35:50,984 --> 00:35:55,113 Excuse me, Russell, but I believe I requested the hand job. 429 00:35:57,950 --> 00:36:01,578 Let's go on. The cue is - watch carefully... 430 00:36:04,122 --> 00:36:07,167 Five, four, three... 431 00:36:09,962 --> 00:36:11,421 You didn't say two or one. 432 00:36:11,505 --> 00:36:14,842 - You don't say two or one. - Why not? 433 00:36:14,925 --> 00:36:20,138 You just don't, OK? Now, it goes... 434 00:36:22,891 --> 00:36:26,395 Five, four, three... 435 00:36:30,524 --> 00:36:34,361 - Good! OK, good. - Ow! All right! 436 00:36:34,444 --> 00:36:38,073 Now, we're ready for rehearsal, unless there are questions. 437 00:36:38,157 --> 00:36:41,702 Yeah... Does this seem weird to anybody else? 438 00:36:41,785 --> 00:36:44,955 I mean, we're looking down on Wayne's basement, 439 00:36:45,038 --> 00:36:47,875 only that's not Wayne's basement. 440 00:36:47,958 --> 00:36:50,085 Isn't that weird? 441 00:36:50,169 --> 00:36:52,671 - That's twisted. - That's weird, man. 442 00:36:52,754 --> 00:36:55,174 Garth, that was a haiku. 443 00:36:57,718 --> 00:36:59,845 - Control room. - Russell. 444 00:36:59,928 --> 00:37:03,348 - Hello, Benjamin. - Finishing with the Vanderhoffs. 445 00:37:03,432 --> 00:37:07,227 They'd like to visit rehearsal, see we're not wasting their money. 446 00:37:09,271 --> 00:37:11,940 Not...a good idea, sir. 447 00:37:12,024 --> 00:37:13,275 Great! 448 00:37:13,358 --> 00:37:16,653 Come in. Your landing gear is down. 449 00:37:16,737 --> 00:37:18,780 - Just...put that down. - Ow. 450 00:37:18,864 --> 00:37:22,242 Just go away, guys. Go to the set. Hey, hey, hey! 451 00:37:22,326 --> 00:37:26,121 - He's excited you'll see the studio. - Oh, the studio. 452 00:37:26,205 --> 00:37:29,291 - That's where the magic happens. - You work in TV? 453 00:37:29,374 --> 00:37:33,253 - No, but I watch a lot. - Of course you do. You're creative. 454 00:37:33,337 --> 00:37:35,923 She came up with the name Noah's Arcade. 455 00:37:36,006 --> 00:37:38,800 I just opened my mouth and out it came. 456 00:37:39,927 --> 00:37:42,221 You're a lucky man, Mr Vanderhoff. 457 00:37:43,597 --> 00:37:47,518 All right, can we bring in the blue screen? Let's try one. 458 00:37:47,601 --> 00:37:50,187 Ready to cue Wayne and Garth, and go. 459 00:37:50,270 --> 00:37:55,150 - OK. - In five, four, three... 460 00:37:56,860 --> 00:38:00,113 Good, Terry. Uh, Wayne, Garth, don't count along. 461 00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:02,658 We see your mouths moving. Again. 462 00:38:02,741 --> 00:38:05,744 In five, four, three... 463 00:38:05,828 --> 00:38:09,873 Guys? You're nodding. Once again, Terry. 464 00:38:09,957 --> 00:38:15,003 In five, four, three, two... 465 00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:18,507 Welcome to Wayne's World. 466 00:38:18,590 --> 00:38:20,551 - Party on, Garth. - Party on, Wayne. 467 00:38:20,634 --> 00:38:22,678 A new feature on Wayne's World 468 00:38:22,761 --> 00:38:25,681 allows us to travel through time and space. 469 00:38:25,764 --> 00:38:29,268 It's called chromakey, and it's handy for going to... 470 00:38:29,351 --> 00:38:30,602 New York. 471 00:38:30,686 --> 00:38:34,690 - Hey, we're in New York! - I got a gun. Let's hit Broadway. 472 00:38:34,773 --> 00:38:37,860 - I guess kids get this? - Oh, they love it. 473 00:38:37,943 --> 00:38:40,404 Or maybe you prefer Hawaii. 474 00:38:40,487 --> 00:38:45,159 Mookalakaheeki. Come on, you wanna lei me. Pass the poi, Mahalo. 475 00:38:45,242 --> 00:38:47,286 Or say you want to go to Texas. 476 00:38:47,369 --> 00:38:51,123 Howdy, partners. Let's raise and rope broncos. 477 00:38:51,206 --> 00:38:54,209 - Let's go down. - Howdy, y'all. 478 00:38:54,293 --> 00:38:58,213 Or imagine being magically whisked away to... 479 00:38:58,297 --> 00:39:00,257 Delaware. 480 00:39:00,340 --> 00:39:04,011 Hi. I'm in Delaware. 481 00:39:04,553 --> 00:39:09,099 Noah and Mimi Vanderhoff, say hello to Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar. 482 00:39:09,183 --> 00:39:11,268 - Pleasure. - Nice to meet you. 483 00:39:11,351 --> 00:39:14,897 So, Garth, how do you like being in a real studio? 484 00:39:14,980 --> 00:39:18,066 It's like a new pair of underwear. 485 00:39:18,150 --> 00:39:21,236 At first it's constrictive, 486 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,323 but after a while, it becomes a part of you. 487 00:39:27,034 --> 00:39:29,953 - I gotta go. - OK. OK. 488 00:39:31,121 --> 00:39:33,373 No, no, no. Please. 489 00:39:33,457 --> 00:39:37,002 Wayne, I used to be in meat packing. Lips and hooves. 490 00:39:37,085 --> 00:39:40,797 One day, I had a four-hour layover in Tulsa. 491 00:39:40,881 --> 00:39:45,469 These airport kids kept pumping quarters into a game called Pong. 492 00:39:45,552 --> 00:39:47,513 They must've blown 50 bucks. 493 00:39:47,596 --> 00:39:52,267 I sat there watching and I said, "Hell, I'm in the wrong business." 494 00:39:52,351 --> 00:39:55,437 15 years later, I'm a millionaire. 495 00:39:56,897 --> 00:40:00,234 - It's so huge! - Thanks. 496 00:40:01,652 --> 00:40:04,655 - Do I frighten you? - No. 497 00:40:04,738 --> 00:40:06,740 Do you want me to? 498 00:40:06,824 --> 00:40:10,035 - Noah, I love you on that couch. - You think? 499 00:40:10,118 --> 00:40:12,246 Noah does all his own commercials. 500 00:40:12,329 --> 00:40:15,499 Yeah, I got a new one where I rap. 501 00:40:15,582 --> 00:40:18,377 Come bust a move where the games are played 502 00:40:18,460 --> 00:40:21,755 It's chill, it's fresh, it's Noah's Arcade 503 00:40:22,881 --> 00:40:24,925 What do you think of that? 504 00:40:25,008 --> 00:40:26,593 I'd have to say... 505 00:40:26,677 --> 00:40:30,681 - Asphinctersezwhat? - What? 506 00:40:30,764 --> 00:40:35,310 - A sphincter says what? - What? 507 00:40:35,394 --> 00:40:37,145 Exactly. 508 00:40:37,229 --> 00:40:38,313 We've got a lunch. 509 00:40:38,397 --> 00:40:41,233 - That's what I think of it. - OK. 510 00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:43,694 Well, it's been a pleasure. 511 00:40:43,777 --> 00:40:46,029 May I say I've had a thrilling day. 512 00:40:46,113 --> 00:40:47,573 - You may. - Shall we? 513 00:40:47,656 --> 00:40:49,449 And may I say your wife's a babe. 514 00:40:49,533 --> 00:40:52,035 - Thank you. - We have a table. 515 00:41:05,799 --> 00:41:07,467 What is it, girl? 516 00:41:08,844 --> 00:41:11,138 Aliens have kidnapped Wayne? 517 00:41:12,097 --> 00:41:15,851 Oh, I misunderstood. Wayne's outside. Thanks, girl. 518 00:41:21,565 --> 00:41:25,444 OK! Game on! 519 00:41:26,653 --> 00:41:28,572 - Game on! - Game on! 520 00:41:32,743 --> 00:41:34,286 He shoots, he scores! 521 00:41:34,369 --> 00:41:37,164 - One for one! - Crowd is going wild! 522 00:41:37,247 --> 00:41:38,916 Car! 523 00:41:43,879 --> 00:41:45,797 - Game on! - Game on! 524 00:41:48,717 --> 00:41:50,302 - OK. - Let's go. 525 00:41:51,428 --> 00:41:54,264 Worseley cuts down the angle. 526 00:41:54,348 --> 00:41:57,976 - Gretzky shoots! - Oh, Gretzky is denied! 527 00:41:58,060 --> 00:41:59,853 Choked in the open net. 528 00:42:01,897 --> 00:42:03,565 - Wayne? - Yeah? 529 00:42:03,649 --> 00:42:06,109 Do you feel Benjamin's not one of us? 530 00:42:06,193 --> 00:42:10,280 Good call. It's as if Benjamin wants us to be liked by everyone. 531 00:42:10,364 --> 00:42:13,575 Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes everyone liked. 532 00:42:13,659 --> 00:42:15,577 They left that to the Bee Gees. 533 00:42:16,495 --> 00:42:17,996 Car! 534 00:42:22,626 --> 00:42:24,878 - Game on! - Game on! 535 00:42:27,756 --> 00:42:30,634 Uh-oh. Incoming. Stacy, ten o'clock. 536 00:42:30,717 --> 00:42:32,386 Hi, Wayne. 537 00:42:34,012 --> 00:42:35,264 Hi. 538 00:42:39,643 --> 00:42:41,979 Hey, are you all right? 539 00:42:45,315 --> 00:42:47,067 And she's OK! 540 00:42:48,986 --> 00:42:51,905 - Game on! - Yeah, game on! 541 00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:11,842 You know, Garth, you and I have never really talked. 542 00:43:13,385 --> 00:43:15,345 OK. 543 00:43:15,429 --> 00:43:18,265 You know, I love what you do on the show. 544 00:43:18,348 --> 00:43:22,019 I look at you and I just laugh and laugh. 545 00:43:22,102 --> 00:43:24,021 Uh-huh. 546 00:43:24,104 --> 00:43:27,733 Let me run this by you because you're...a sharp guy. 547 00:43:27,816 --> 00:43:31,445 I'm thinking about giving Vanderhoff a weekly interview. 548 00:43:31,528 --> 00:43:34,198 How would you feel about making a change? 549 00:43:34,281 --> 00:43:35,657 We fear change. 550 00:43:53,175 --> 00:43:56,553 Cassandra, I have to say it, you look excellent. 551 00:43:56,637 --> 00:43:59,306 Thanks. I've been so busy with my band, 552 00:43:59,389 --> 00:44:01,850 I thought I was getting meningitis. 553 00:44:01,934 --> 00:44:04,520 I thought I had mono for an entire year. 554 00:44:04,603 --> 00:44:07,189 Turned out I was just really bored. 555 00:44:11,610 --> 00:44:13,070 Excuse me? 556 00:44:13,153 --> 00:44:16,365 I'm sorry. It's the last song I heard this morning. 557 00:44:16,448 --> 00:44:17,991 I hate when that happens. 558 00:44:30,671 --> 00:44:32,339 I'm gonna put on some tunes. 559 00:44:33,590 --> 00:44:37,386 - When did you get the CD player? - When we got the money. 560 00:45:04,705 --> 00:45:07,708 There it is...Excalibur. 561 00:45:08,792 --> 00:45:13,922 '64 Fender Stratocaster with triple single coil pickups and a whammy bar. 562 00:45:14,006 --> 00:45:16,133 Pre-CBS Fender corporate buy-out. 563 00:45:16,216 --> 00:45:19,845 I'd raise the bridge and take the buzz out of the low E. 564 00:45:19,928 --> 00:45:21,388 God, I love this woman. 565 00:45:23,182 --> 00:45:24,808 - Hi, Garth. - Hi. 566 00:45:24,892 --> 00:45:26,226 Where's the clerk? 567 00:45:26,310 --> 00:45:29,229 I know. I'll use the "may I help you" riff. 568 00:45:34,359 --> 00:45:36,069 May I help you? 569 00:45:36,153 --> 00:45:37,362 Yes, my good man. 570 00:45:37,446 --> 00:45:40,240 I'd like to see this Fender Stratocaster. 571 00:45:40,324 --> 00:45:41,909 - Oh, really? - Yes. 572 00:45:41,992 --> 00:45:43,327 - Again? - Yes. 573 00:45:59,718 --> 00:46:01,094 Be careful. 574 00:46:10,145 --> 00:46:12,940 No Stairway. Denied! 575 00:46:56,358 --> 00:47:00,612 Wow. You're...amazing, dude. 576 00:47:00,696 --> 00:47:03,282 Thanks. I like to play. 577 00:47:07,536 --> 00:47:09,705 Excuse me. Wayne? 578 00:47:09,788 --> 00:47:12,416 Can I put the Fender back now, please? 579 00:47:12,499 --> 00:47:15,460 Not today, my good man. I'm feeling saucy. 580 00:47:15,544 --> 00:47:18,797 I think I'm gonna buy it. Do you accept...cash? Cha-ching. 581 00:47:27,973 --> 00:47:31,602 Have you spoken to Wayne about the Vanderhoff spot? 582 00:47:31,685 --> 00:47:35,063 Yes. Briefly. He was not very receptive. 583 00:47:35,147 --> 00:47:36,523 Oh, really? 584 00:47:36,607 --> 00:47:39,818 Well, I'll explain that it's in his contract. 585 00:47:39,902 --> 00:47:44,156 Oh. Well, Wayne will understand that right away. 586 00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:45,949 Not! 587 00:47:47,659 --> 00:47:49,495 Excuse me. 588 00:47:49,578 --> 00:47:53,916 I mean, there's two Darrin Stevens, Dick York, Dick Sargent. 589 00:47:53,999 --> 00:47:57,503 Sh'yeah! Right! As if we wouldn't notice. 590 00:47:57,586 --> 00:47:58,837 Well, hold on. 591 00:47:58,921 --> 00:48:03,300 Dick York, Dick Sargent, Sergeant York. Wow, that's weird. 592 00:48:06,261 --> 00:48:10,641 Wayne. Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. 593 00:48:10,724 --> 00:48:12,643 The fact is, he's the sponsor. 594 00:48:12,726 --> 00:48:16,230 You signed a contract guaranteeing him concessions, 595 00:48:16,313 --> 00:48:17,856 like a spot on the show. 596 00:48:17,940 --> 00:48:20,776 That's where I see things differently. 597 00:48:20,859 --> 00:48:24,071 Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor. 598 00:48:25,614 --> 00:48:29,827 I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's the nature of the beast. 599 00:48:29,910 --> 00:48:32,037 Maybe I'm wrong on this one, 600 00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:35,666 but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. 601 00:48:38,794 --> 00:48:41,380 Garth, you know what I mean, right? 602 00:48:45,551 --> 00:48:49,346 It's like people only do things because they get paid, 603 00:48:49,429 --> 00:48:51,348 and that's just really sad. 604 00:48:52,474 --> 00:48:56,436 I can't talk about it any more. It's giving me a headache. 605 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,188 Here. Take two of these. 606 00:49:00,774 --> 00:49:02,025 Ah, Nuprin. 607 00:49:02,109 --> 00:49:03,944 Little. Yellow. Different. 608 00:49:04,027 --> 00:49:08,282 Look, you can stay here in the big leagues and play by the rules 609 00:49:08,365 --> 00:49:11,660 or go back to the farm club in Aurora, your choice. 610 00:49:11,743 --> 00:49:14,872 Yes. And it's the choice of a new generation. 611 00:49:33,515 --> 00:49:37,060 - Anything wrong, Davy? - Yeah. I got paid today. 612 00:49:37,144 --> 00:49:39,188 Oh, yeah, I know what that's like. 613 00:49:39,271 --> 00:49:42,608 No. You don't understand. They laid me off. 614 00:49:42,691 --> 00:49:46,403 - I got one of these. - Yeah. I know how that feels. 615 00:49:46,487 --> 00:49:47,946 Know what I'd like to do? 616 00:49:48,030 --> 00:49:50,532 Yeah, I know what you'd like to do. 617 00:49:50,616 --> 00:49:54,661 Find the guy that did it, rip his still-beating heart out, 618 00:49:54,745 --> 00:49:58,999 and hold it in his face so he can see how black it is before he dies. 619 00:49:59,082 --> 00:50:02,836 Actually, I was gonna file a grievance with the union. 620 00:50:04,213 --> 00:50:06,381 Well, the world's a twisted place. 621 00:50:10,302 --> 00:50:12,930 - Hi. - How's it going, Garth? 622 00:50:13,013 --> 00:50:15,015 Good. 623 00:50:17,351 --> 00:50:19,478 Hey. There she is. 624 00:50:29,738 --> 00:50:30,989 I must've slipped. 625 00:50:32,366 --> 00:50:37,120 Wayne, what do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, 626 00:50:37,204 --> 00:50:39,164 you think you're gonna hurl? 627 00:50:39,248 --> 00:50:43,877 I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. 628 00:50:43,961 --> 00:50:47,840 If you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be. 629 00:50:49,341 --> 00:50:53,637 Oh, I'm not ready yet. I gotta be comfortable with me first. 630 00:50:53,720 --> 00:50:56,056 Why don't you talk to her? 631 00:52:02,247 --> 00:52:06,710 Why don't you just go talk to her? Go talk to her? Go talk to her? 632 00:52:08,629 --> 00:52:10,297 Garth? 633 00:52:15,344 --> 00:52:20,807 Camera one, camera two. Camera one, camera two. 634 00:52:25,854 --> 00:52:27,022 Don't. 635 00:52:31,652 --> 00:52:34,446 Tell me, when that first show is over, 636 00:52:34,530 --> 00:52:38,617 will you still love me when I'm an incredibly humongoid star? 637 00:52:38,700 --> 00:52:39,910 Yeah. 638 00:52:39,993 --> 00:52:43,205 And in my hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar phase? 639 00:52:43,288 --> 00:52:44,540 Yeah. 640 00:52:44,623 --> 00:52:49,378 And in my sequin-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, 641 00:52:49,461 --> 00:52:51,922 waking-up-in-a-pool-of-vomit, 642 00:52:52,005 --> 00:52:55,259 bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase? 643 00:52:55,342 --> 00:52:58,554 - Yeah. - OK. Party. Bonus. 644 00:53:00,430 --> 00:53:02,349 Yeah? Oh, hi, Anthony. 645 00:53:02,432 --> 00:53:05,310 - Who's Anthony? Who's Anthony? - My drummer. 646 00:53:05,394 --> 00:53:06,603 OK. 647 00:53:07,312 --> 00:53:08,522 You what? 648 00:53:08,605 --> 00:53:12,317 No, I told you next week we'll be doing a music video. 649 00:53:16,113 --> 00:53:18,115 Do you mind? This is business. 650 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,036 Hey, you wanna be a busboy the rest of your life? 651 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,330 Well, then, talk to your boss. 652 00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:34,089 Look, this guy Benjamin's putting up serious money for this. Yeah. 653 00:53:34,173 --> 00:53:37,426 Happy birthday 654 00:53:37,509 --> 00:53:39,845 Mr President 655 00:53:40,971 --> 00:53:43,390 Happy birthday 656 00:53:43,473 --> 00:53:45,726 To you 657 00:53:48,562 --> 00:53:52,649 Work it out, OK? Just... No, just be there. 658 00:53:52,733 --> 00:53:54,443 OK, bye. 659 00:53:54,526 --> 00:53:56,320 You asshole! 660 00:54:05,162 --> 00:54:06,663 Excellent. 661 00:54:22,054 --> 00:54:24,765 Hey. All right. Glad you could make it. 662 00:54:25,974 --> 00:54:27,100 Yes! 663 00:54:27,184 --> 00:54:30,312 - Cool. - Yes. 664 00:54:30,395 --> 00:54:35,275 This is definitely what I'm gonna get when I move out of my parents' house. 665 00:54:35,359 --> 00:54:38,237 - Oh, you have a terrace! - Yeah. Go on out. 666 00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,239 I'll get the Dom Perignon. 667 00:54:44,993 --> 00:54:46,870 What floor is this? 668 00:54:46,954 --> 00:54:49,373 Um...the 23rd. 669 00:54:55,254 --> 00:55:00,008 You know, Cassandra... from this height... 670 00:55:00,092 --> 00:55:02,678 you could really hawk a lugie on someone. 671 00:55:08,350 --> 00:55:10,185 You know, I feel so free up here! 672 00:55:10,269 --> 00:55:12,896 Costs a lot to live this free. 673 00:55:12,980 --> 00:55:14,982 This might be a tangent 674 00:55:15,065 --> 00:55:18,235 but it's something I've been thinking about... 675 00:55:18,318 --> 00:55:19,820 Hi. 676 00:55:19,903 --> 00:55:23,365 If Cassandra was my girl, I wouldn't bring her here. 677 00:55:23,448 --> 00:55:28,662 I mean, look at this place. This is a fully functional babe lair. 678 00:55:28,745 --> 00:55:31,498 Chicks are helpless against its powers. 679 00:55:31,582 --> 00:55:33,083 Let's check it out. 680 00:55:33,167 --> 00:55:36,003 I don't believe I've had French champagne. 681 00:55:36,086 --> 00:55:39,673 Actually, all champagne is French, after the region. 682 00:55:39,756 --> 00:55:42,301 Otherwise, it's sparkling white wine. 683 00:55:42,384 --> 00:55:44,887 Americans ignore the convention, 684 00:55:44,970 --> 00:55:49,224 so they call their sparkling whites champagne, though they're not. 685 00:55:49,308 --> 00:55:52,895 Ah, yes. It's a lot like Star Trek: The Next Generation. 686 00:55:52,978 --> 00:55:57,274 It's often superior, but will never be as recognised as the original. 687 00:55:59,943 --> 00:56:03,280 Aha. What's this? "How To Pick Up Chicks". 688 00:56:03,363 --> 00:56:05,824 "How To Meet Women". He's smooth. 689 00:56:10,787 --> 00:56:13,290 "Daily reminder...Thursday. 690 00:56:13,373 --> 00:56:18,086 "Purchase feeble public access cable show and exploit it." 691 00:56:18,170 --> 00:56:21,882 Whoa. I feel sorry for whoever that is. 692 00:56:21,965 --> 00:56:23,425 Let's look over here. 693 00:56:31,808 --> 00:56:34,478 "Ribbed for her pleasure." 694 00:56:36,563 --> 00:56:38,398 Well, the show looks great. 695 00:56:38,482 --> 00:56:41,693 Mr Vanderhoff's excited. I'm very excited. 696 00:56:41,777 --> 00:56:46,073 I think the show's gonna be a huge hit all over the Chicago area. 697 00:56:46,156 --> 00:56:47,366 For you and Garth - 698 00:56:47,449 --> 00:56:50,828 tickets to Alice Cooper tomorrow night in Milwaukee. 699 00:56:50,911 --> 00:56:53,038 Backstage passes! 700 00:56:54,498 --> 00:56:57,042 All-access backstage with Alice Cooper? 701 00:56:57,125 --> 00:56:59,920 - Thank you. - Take the day off. Enjoy yourselves. 702 00:57:00,003 --> 00:57:01,547 What about Cassandra? 703 00:57:01,630 --> 00:57:03,340 She and I have work to do. 704 00:57:04,424 --> 00:57:07,803 - Here's to your success. - No. Here's to Benjamin. 705 00:57:15,602 --> 00:57:18,147 Who wants Chinese takeout? I know a great place. 706 00:57:18,230 --> 00:57:21,066 I'll have the cream of sum yung guy. 707 00:57:24,486 --> 00:57:26,697 Cassandra, why don't you order? 708 00:57:26,780 --> 00:57:29,783 No. I'm sure whatever you order will be fine. 709 00:57:29,867 --> 00:57:31,326 Oh, OK. 710 00:57:50,762 --> 00:57:52,514 This guy is good. 711 00:57:52,598 --> 00:57:55,475 Picked up a little Cantonese in the Orient. 712 00:57:55,559 --> 00:57:58,854 You sound more like Kowloon Bay than Hong Kong. 713 00:57:58,937 --> 00:58:01,106 I was born in Kowloon Bay. 714 00:58:01,190 --> 00:58:02,733 There you have it. 715 00:58:02,816 --> 00:58:05,319 This guy's really good. 716 00:58:55,536 --> 00:58:56,912 Sounds great! 717 00:58:56,995 --> 00:58:58,956 - Thanks. - You got a minute? 718 00:58:59,039 --> 00:59:01,291 Sure. Hey, you guys, hang out. 719 00:59:01,375 --> 00:59:04,586 I came by to drop off the contract for the video. 720 00:59:04,670 --> 00:59:08,382 Oh, great. I never really got a chance to say thank you. 721 00:59:08,465 --> 00:59:12,344 - You've been very generous. - It's been my pleasure. 722 00:59:12,427 --> 00:59:16,390 Listen, if you're done, we could spend the afternoon together. 723 00:59:20,310 --> 00:59:23,147 We should be close to Milwaukee by now. 724 00:59:32,114 --> 00:59:35,075 - Look! There's Shotz brewery! - Cool! 725 01:00:08,859 --> 01:00:11,403 Hey, wait a minute. What are we doin'? 726 01:00:11,487 --> 01:00:14,573 Yeah! We got backstage passes for Alice Cooper! 727 01:01:07,084 --> 01:01:09,044 Do you want to go backstage? 728 01:01:10,921 --> 01:01:13,882 Yeah. Let's go back now and beat the crowd. 729 01:01:41,285 --> 01:01:42,619 Where you going? 730 01:01:42,703 --> 01:01:43,996 Got a pass. 731 01:01:52,713 --> 01:01:57,509 Uh-oh. I think we took a wrong turn, cos we're outside now. 732 01:01:57,593 --> 01:01:59,636 Whoa! Look! 733 01:02:02,681 --> 01:02:04,433 Is this Alice's limo? 734 01:02:04,516 --> 01:02:07,478 It belongs to Frank Sharp, head of Sharp Records. 735 01:02:07,561 --> 01:02:09,605 Good friend of Alice's. 736 01:02:09,688 --> 01:02:13,609 Wow. That's, like, way bigger than a normal size car. 737 01:02:13,692 --> 01:02:17,196 Well, it has to be. He drives everywhere. 738 01:02:17,279 --> 01:02:20,240 Hates to fly. He's going across the country right now 739 01:02:20,324 --> 01:02:23,118 to look for new acts to sign to his label. 740 01:02:23,202 --> 01:02:24,828 Next stop is St Louis. 741 01:02:24,912 --> 01:02:29,082 Then he'll come back through Chicago on his way to Detroit. 742 01:02:31,335 --> 01:02:32,753 Thanks. 743 01:02:36,965 --> 01:02:42,095 For a security guard, he had an awful lot of information, don't you think? 744 01:02:44,556 --> 01:02:47,142 Thank you, Milwaukee! 745 01:02:55,359 --> 01:02:58,445 Whoa, whoa, ladies. I'm sorry. No... 746 01:02:58,529 --> 01:03:00,864 Oh, you got pass... All right. Come on. 747 01:03:00,948 --> 01:03:04,409 - Let us through, please! - Can't let you in. 748 01:03:07,746 --> 01:03:09,706 Alice. Is this cool? 749 01:03:09,790 --> 01:03:11,667 Yeah. Come on in. 750 01:03:11,750 --> 01:03:13,210 Sorry to bother you, 751 01:03:13,293 --> 01:03:16,380 but we had to tell you how much we enjoyed the show. 752 01:03:16,463 --> 01:03:18,257 Didn't we, Garth? 753 01:03:19,424 --> 01:03:21,260 Oh. Thanks. 754 01:03:21,343 --> 01:03:24,596 We're not mental or anything, so don't be afraid. 755 01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,099 My name is Wayne and this is Garth. 756 01:03:28,142 --> 01:03:30,394 Nice to meet you guys. 757 01:03:30,477 --> 01:03:34,481 So do you...come to Milwaukee often? 758 01:03:35,983 --> 01:03:37,860 Well, I'm a regular visitor, 759 01:03:37,943 --> 01:03:41,613 but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. 760 01:03:41,697 --> 01:03:45,242 French missionaries and explorers came in the late 1600s 761 01:03:45,325 --> 01:03:47,911 to trade with the Native Americans. 762 01:03:47,995 --> 01:03:51,165 - Isn't Milwaukee an Indian name? - Yes, Pete, it is. 763 01:03:51,248 --> 01:03:54,334 Actually, it's pronounced mee-lee-wah-kay, 764 01:03:54,418 --> 01:03:56,628 Algonquin for "the good land". 765 01:03:56,712 --> 01:03:58,505 I was not aware of that. 766 01:03:58,589 --> 01:04:01,508 One of its most interesting aspects is that 767 01:04:01,592 --> 01:04:06,680 it's the only major American city to have elected three socialist mayors. 768 01:04:06,763 --> 01:04:09,475 Does this guy know how to party or what? 769 01:04:12,811 --> 01:04:16,440 OK. Well, we gotta get going. 770 01:04:16,523 --> 01:04:18,567 No, stick around. Hang out with us. 771 01:04:20,402 --> 01:04:24,907 Cool. Yeah, we'll stay and hang around with you, us... 772 01:04:24,990 --> 01:04:26,700 with Alice Cooper. 773 01:04:29,203 --> 01:04:32,539 We're not worthy! We're not worthy! 774 01:04:32,623 --> 01:04:34,500 We're not worthy! 775 01:04:34,583 --> 01:04:37,544 We're scum! We suck! 776 01:04:40,756 --> 01:04:44,301 Our first big show and we almost didn't make it. 777 01:04:44,384 --> 01:04:47,221 I really hope Cassandra's watching. 778 01:04:49,223 --> 01:04:52,476 The couch works perfect. Hey. 779 01:04:52,559 --> 01:04:55,646 - How's it going? - Tonight's the night. 780 01:04:55,729 --> 01:04:59,942 A lot of people in the Chicagoland area will be watching the show. 781 01:05:00,025 --> 01:05:02,653 You know what? I know it's gonna be a hit. 782 01:05:02,736 --> 01:05:05,113 I'll be in the booth. 783 01:05:05,197 --> 01:05:07,574 Mr Vanderhoff is your first guest. 784 01:05:07,658 --> 01:05:09,201 Oh, hi, boys. 785 01:05:09,284 --> 01:05:11,161 What the hell is this? 786 01:05:11,245 --> 01:05:13,789 Can we fly in the sign, please? 787 01:05:13,872 --> 01:05:15,749 That's it. Bring her down. 788 01:05:17,376 --> 01:05:18,919 Don't tense up. You'll be great. 789 01:05:19,002 --> 01:05:21,755 Garth, have you got a second? 790 01:05:22,297 --> 01:05:26,343 Simply read the cards. You're going to be wonderful. Really. 791 01:05:26,426 --> 01:05:28,220 OK? 792 01:05:28,303 --> 01:05:31,306 Oh, Russell, can I borrow your marker? 793 01:05:31,390 --> 01:05:33,809 I, uh...need to make some notes. 794 01:05:33,892 --> 01:05:36,061 Sure. 795 01:05:36,145 --> 01:05:37,855 Good luck. 796 01:05:38,981 --> 01:05:41,942 My guys. You're my guys! 797 01:05:47,156 --> 01:05:49,950 Your name is pronounced Algar, right? 798 01:05:50,033 --> 01:05:53,328 OK. Wayne! 799 01:05:54,037 --> 01:05:55,455 - He'll be fine. - Good. 800 01:05:57,166 --> 01:05:58,542 This is it, honey. 801 01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:02,337 In five, four, three... 802 01:06:05,716 --> 01:06:09,094 Wayne's World is brought to you by Noah's Arcade. 803 01:06:09,178 --> 01:06:10,387 Party on, Wayne. 804 01:06:19,438 --> 01:06:22,274 It's Friday. It's 1 1 :30. 805 01:06:22,357 --> 01:06:26,445 It's time to party with your excellent host Wayne Campbell, 806 01:06:26,528 --> 01:06:28,530 and with him, as always, Garth. 807 01:06:28,614 --> 01:06:31,533 Party on, Wayne, and party on, Garth. 808 01:06:35,245 --> 01:06:37,164 OK. Welcome to Wayne's World. 809 01:06:37,247 --> 01:06:40,292 - Party on, Garth. - I guess. 810 01:06:40,375 --> 01:06:41,752 OK. OK, first of all, 811 01:06:41,835 --> 01:06:46,715 we'd like to take a moment to welcome our sponsor. 812 01:06:46,798 --> 01:06:50,469 He's the owner of a fine chain of Noah's Arcades... 813 01:06:50,552 --> 01:06:55,432 Noah Vanderhoff. Nice name...not! 814 01:06:55,516 --> 01:06:57,893 Now, uh, Mr Vanderhoff... 815 01:06:57,976 --> 01:07:00,062 He's using the cards. Yes! 816 01:07:00,145 --> 01:07:02,022 I told you he'd fall in line. 817 01:07:02,105 --> 01:07:05,150 What is your most popular video game right now? 818 01:07:06,318 --> 01:07:07,945 Desert Storm Commando Warriors. 819 01:07:10,113 --> 01:07:13,116 About that limited skirmish in the Middle East? 820 01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:14,284 Yes. 821 01:07:14,368 --> 01:07:15,994 What the hell's he doing? 822 01:07:16,078 --> 01:07:19,373 Aren't there long lines for the popular games? 823 01:07:21,208 --> 01:07:22,626 Well, at Noah's arcade, we like to say 824 01:07:22,709 --> 01:07:25,587 there's two of everything, so there's never a line. 825 01:07:26,713 --> 01:07:29,716 OK. Now, Noah, I've always wanted to know... 826 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:33,595 what is the difference between Pac-Man and Ms Pac-Man, really? 827 01:07:33,679 --> 01:07:35,556 Well, she has a bow on her head. 828 01:07:36,849 --> 01:07:37,850 That's it? 829 01:07:40,519 --> 01:07:43,397 - Get right out of town. - No, that's it. 830 01:07:52,156 --> 01:07:56,368 Thanks for being on Wayne's World. It was informative and stimulating. 831 01:07:56,451 --> 01:07:58,662 Now a word from our sponsor. 832 01:07:59,371 --> 01:08:00,831 We're at commercial. 833 01:08:00,914 --> 01:08:03,000 Oh, that was fun. 834 01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:05,377 - I'll see you next week. - I hope. 835 01:08:05,460 --> 01:08:08,005 Wayne, come to the booth, please? 836 01:08:08,088 --> 01:08:11,133 Oh, honey, you were incredible. 837 01:08:11,216 --> 01:08:13,468 I think it went really well. 838 01:08:13,552 --> 01:08:17,598 Absolutely. There was a huge response in that little room. 839 01:08:17,681 --> 01:08:21,435 Those phrases were not on the cards when I gave them to him. 840 01:08:22,478 --> 01:08:25,564 Wayne. What the hell is going on? 841 01:08:25,647 --> 01:08:28,650 - What are you doing? - Same thing we always do. 842 01:08:28,734 --> 01:08:31,153 You've publicly humiliated the sponsor. 843 01:08:31,236 --> 01:08:33,113 - Yeah. - You're fired. 844 01:08:33,197 --> 01:08:37,117 Fired? For that? Sh'yeah! Right! 845 01:08:37,201 --> 01:08:40,120 I'm out of here, and I'm taking my show with me. 846 01:08:40,204 --> 01:08:43,165 - We own the show. - Aw, bite me. 847 01:08:46,084 --> 01:08:47,503 OK. 848 01:08:47,586 --> 01:08:51,340 - Are we back? - Stand by. 849 01:08:51,423 --> 01:08:53,800 - Coming back? - And go. 850 01:08:53,884 --> 01:08:56,720 Five, four, three... 851 01:09:04,895 --> 01:09:08,899 I'm having a good time...not. 852 01:09:11,109 --> 01:09:14,321 Ever see Scanners when that dude's head blew up? 853 01:09:23,956 --> 01:09:25,374 - Hello? - Hello. 854 01:09:25,457 --> 01:09:26,708 It's Benjamin. 855 01:09:26,792 --> 01:09:27,960 Oh, hi. 856 01:09:28,043 --> 01:09:30,420 Listen, did you see the show tonight? 857 01:09:30,504 --> 01:09:35,175 I was working, so I only saw the first part, but I laughed my ass off. 858 01:09:35,259 --> 01:09:39,596 We had some technical difficulties and we're playing with the format. 859 01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:41,306 Has Wayne talked to you? 860 01:09:43,100 --> 01:09:46,311 About what? Why? Are you cancelling my video? 861 01:09:46,395 --> 01:09:48,772 No, I called to make sure we're still on. 862 01:09:48,856 --> 01:09:51,358 Well, we got a deal, right? 863 01:09:51,441 --> 01:09:54,319 Absolutely. I'll see you in Chicago. 864 01:09:54,403 --> 01:09:56,446 OK. Bye. 865 01:10:01,285 --> 01:10:03,579 You really pissed me off tonight. 866 01:10:03,662 --> 01:10:07,040 Garth, you've never been mad at anything in your life. 867 01:10:07,124 --> 01:10:10,544 You shouldn't have walked out. I handled it OK, 868 01:10:10,627 --> 01:10:15,299 but you shouldn't walk out on your friend without telling him first. 869 01:10:15,382 --> 01:10:17,843 So I have to run everything by you now? 870 01:10:17,926 --> 01:10:20,637 Yeah, you have to run everything by me now. 871 01:10:20,721 --> 01:10:24,433 What am I, a chimp? "With you, as always, is Garth?" 872 01:10:24,516 --> 01:10:26,268 Jim to your Marlin Perkins? 873 01:10:26,351 --> 01:10:29,104 You know, Benjamin had you so snowed. 874 01:10:29,188 --> 01:10:31,398 You know, he's got it for Cassandra. 875 01:10:31,482 --> 01:10:34,067 - No way. - Way. 876 01:10:34,151 --> 01:10:36,945 Sh'yeah! Cassandra's not interested. As if. 877 01:10:37,029 --> 01:10:42,367 OK, pop quiz. Cassandra is not interested in Benjamin because 878 01:10:42,451 --> 01:10:44,286 A: chicks think he's handsome, 879 01:10:44,369 --> 01:10:46,455 B: has cool car, 880 01:10:46,538 --> 01:10:48,916 C: has lots of cash, 881 01:10:48,999 --> 01:10:50,751 D: has no visible scars, 882 01:10:50,834 --> 01:10:53,754 E: does not live with parents. 883 01:10:53,837 --> 01:10:58,967 OK, how about F: you're a gimp. Know what you can do with your quiz? 884 01:10:59,051 --> 01:11:01,512 Know what you can do with your show? 885 01:11:01,595 --> 01:11:03,514 You can take a flying... 886 01:11:12,481 --> 01:11:14,525 ..until the handle breaks off 887 01:11:14,608 --> 01:11:17,861 and you have to find a doctor to pull it out again. 888 01:11:17,945 --> 01:11:20,113 Kiss your mother with that mouth? 889 01:11:20,197 --> 01:11:23,325 You've gone mental. I'm getting out of here, Damien. 890 01:11:23,408 --> 01:11:25,202 - Fine, then. Go. - I'm gone. 891 01:11:25,285 --> 01:11:26,829 - Go, then. - I am. 892 01:11:26,912 --> 01:11:28,121 - Go. - I'm gone. 893 01:11:28,205 --> 01:11:29,623 - Go, then. - I am. 894 01:11:44,012 --> 01:11:48,225 Where you been? I waited up for you last night, and you never showed. 895 01:11:48,308 --> 01:11:51,145 - Where are you going? - Chicago. 896 01:11:51,228 --> 01:11:54,565 Benjamin set up the video shoot for three days. 897 01:11:54,648 --> 01:11:57,317 I guess Benjamin will be there, too. 898 01:11:57,401 --> 01:12:00,404 He's producing it. And what does that mean? 899 01:12:00,487 --> 01:12:03,615 He's been paying you a lot of attention lately. 900 01:12:03,699 --> 01:12:06,702 Well, maybe he thinks I've got some talent. 901 01:12:06,785 --> 01:12:11,331 - Maybe he's pokin' ya. - What? 902 01:12:11,415 --> 01:12:13,834 You think that's the way I get a gig? 903 01:12:13,917 --> 01:12:18,088 Well, first he screws me, then you. It's Dutch door action. 904 01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:22,092 Could you be any more insulting? 905 01:12:22,176 --> 01:12:24,094 Yeah. 906 01:12:26,513 --> 01:12:28,432 I think you'd better leave. 907 01:12:30,601 --> 01:12:33,187 Fine. I'm outta here. 908 01:12:39,651 --> 01:12:41,487 Oh, man. 909 01:12:43,906 --> 01:12:45,949 What the hell's going on? 910 01:12:46,033 --> 01:12:50,370 I lost my show, I lost my best friend, I lost my girl. 911 01:12:50,454 --> 01:12:53,165 I'm being shit on, that's all, shit on. 912 01:12:53,248 --> 01:12:56,126 And do you know what really pisses me off? 913 01:12:56,210 --> 01:13:00,380 Where are you going? OK, OK, come on back. Come on back. 914 01:13:00,464 --> 01:13:02,799 Things aren't as bad as they seem. 915 01:13:02,883 --> 01:13:05,594 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump on you. 916 01:13:05,677 --> 01:13:08,472 I'll figure something out. OK? 917 01:13:14,102 --> 01:13:16,563 Mr Donuthead, who's trying to kill you? 918 01:13:16,647 --> 01:13:18,565 I don't know but they better not. 919 01:13:20,651 --> 01:13:24,655 If you stab a man in winter, steam will rise up from the wounds. 920 01:13:27,032 --> 01:13:30,577 That's not good! I'm not happy! Oh, no! 921 01:13:30,661 --> 01:13:34,206 Indians believed it was his soul escaping from his body. 922 01:13:34,289 --> 01:13:35,958 Right, Glen. 923 01:13:43,674 --> 01:13:45,509 Hi. 924 01:13:51,014 --> 01:13:52,224 Hi. 925 01:13:52,307 --> 01:13:55,936 I'm sorry about what I did. 926 01:13:56,019 --> 01:13:57,646 Buds? 927 01:13:59,314 --> 01:14:00,607 Buds. 928 01:14:05,529 --> 01:14:07,364 Officer Koharski. 929 01:14:07,447 --> 01:14:12,244 Damn shame how they screwed up your show. Nice little programme. 930 01:14:12,327 --> 01:14:14,830 Not that I ever watched it. 931 01:14:14,913 --> 01:14:16,623 Here you go. 932 01:14:16,707 --> 01:14:20,252 - So, uh, how you doing? - 'K, s'pose. 933 01:14:20,335 --> 01:14:22,588 Just wish I had Cassandra back. 934 01:14:22,671 --> 01:14:26,216 She's in Chicago shooting a video with Benjamin. 935 01:14:26,300 --> 01:14:28,594 So... 936 01:14:28,677 --> 01:14:31,638 - what are you going to do? - I don't know. 937 01:14:31,722 --> 01:14:33,557 I do have one plan. 938 01:14:37,186 --> 01:14:39,396 What are you gonna do with these guys? 939 01:14:39,480 --> 01:14:41,440 Oh, nothing, really. 940 01:14:43,609 --> 01:14:47,571 I always wanted to open a door to a room of people being trained 941 01:14:47,654 --> 01:14:49,364 like in James Bond movies. 942 01:14:49,448 --> 01:14:51,700 - Wicked. - Yeah. 943 01:14:57,331 --> 01:15:00,209 I think you should just go get Cassandra. 944 01:15:00,292 --> 01:15:02,586 I just don't think she wants me to. 945 01:15:02,669 --> 01:15:06,798 Let me tell you a little something I've learned about women. 946 01:15:06,882 --> 01:15:09,551 They want you to come get them. 947 01:15:15,140 --> 01:15:17,434 They love it. 948 01:15:17,768 --> 01:15:22,189 I wish there was something I could offer that Benjamin couldn't. 949 01:15:22,272 --> 01:15:24,191 You'll think of something. 950 01:15:24,274 --> 01:15:26,944 Wait a minute! 951 01:15:27,027 --> 01:15:28,654 No. 952 01:15:28,737 --> 01:15:30,072 Wait a minute! 953 01:15:31,615 --> 01:15:33,492 Wait a minute! I know! 954 01:15:33,575 --> 01:15:37,621 The guy in the limo, Mr Big, the guy who owns Sharp Records. 955 01:15:37,704 --> 01:15:41,083 If we could just get him to listen to Cassandra play. 956 01:15:41,166 --> 01:15:44,002 Halt. Halt. Remember the security guard? 957 01:15:44,086 --> 01:15:47,965 He said Mr Sharp was driving back through Chicago on Friday. 958 01:15:48,048 --> 01:15:49,800 That's right. Wow. 959 01:15:49,883 --> 01:15:53,512 Aren't we lucky we were there to get that information? 960 01:15:53,595 --> 01:15:55,806 It seemed extraneous at the time. 961 01:15:55,889 --> 01:15:59,518 OK, first I'll access the secret military spy satellite 962 01:15:59,601 --> 01:16:02,855 in its geosynchronous orbit over the Midwest. 963 01:16:02,938 --> 01:16:06,900 Then I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR BIGGG". 964 01:16:06,984 --> 01:16:07,985 Yes. 965 01:16:08,068 --> 01:16:11,697 Then I'll reposition the transmitter dish in the truck 966 01:16:11,780 --> 01:16:15,492 to 1 7.32 degrees east, hit Westar 4 over the Atlantic, 967 01:16:15,576 --> 01:16:18,704 bounce the signal down into the Azores, up to Comsat 6, 968 01:16:18,787 --> 01:16:21,498 beam it back to Satcom 3 transponder 1 37, 969 01:16:21,582 --> 01:16:24,918 and down to the dish of Mr Big's limo. 970 01:16:25,002 --> 01:16:27,129 It's almost too easy. 971 01:16:28,672 --> 01:16:33,594 We can only pray he's watching TV in his limo at that exact moment. 972 01:16:33,677 --> 01:16:36,305 - We'll need help. - We'll help! 973 01:16:36,388 --> 01:16:38,932 You get Cassandra! We'll do the rest! 974 01:16:39,016 --> 01:16:41,727 To the mirthmobile! 975 01:16:51,278 --> 01:16:53,322 OK, this is a take, everybody. 976 01:16:53,405 --> 01:16:55,741 I think the snake fell asleep! 977 01:16:59,786 --> 01:17:01,163 Playback! 978 01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:09,880 Looking good! 979 01:17:46,333 --> 01:17:50,379 - This snake weighs a ton. - It looks great on you. 980 01:17:50,462 --> 01:17:54,049 - I'm coming down now. - I'm telling you, you're hot! 981 01:18:30,002 --> 01:18:32,379 Yes, officer? Is something wrong? 982 01:18:32,462 --> 01:18:34,673 Have you seen this boy? 983 01:18:46,351 --> 01:18:50,022 You know, you're exactly right. Why leave the hotel? 984 01:18:50,105 --> 01:18:53,817 We'll have dinner sent up, you can have a hot bath. 985 01:18:53,901 --> 01:18:55,819 Hold this. 986 01:18:57,529 --> 01:19:00,449 - We have to talk. - I don't want to talk to you. 987 01:19:00,532 --> 01:19:03,035 I've set up an audition for your band. 988 01:19:03,118 --> 01:19:05,496 My show is back. You've got to be on it. 989 01:19:05,579 --> 01:19:08,624 - Wayne, go home. - No, I'm not going anywhere. 990 01:19:08,707 --> 01:19:10,542 Cassandra, I love you. 991 01:19:10,626 --> 01:19:13,295 You may not believe it, but I love you. 992 01:19:13,378 --> 01:19:17,549 Am I supposed to just turn my back and leave? 993 01:19:17,633 --> 01:19:20,177 Am I supposed to be a man? 994 01:19:20,260 --> 01:19:24,431 Am I supposed to say, "That's OK, I don't mind. 995 01:19:25,808 --> 01:19:26,975 "I don't mind." 996 01:19:27,059 --> 01:19:29,937 Well, I mind! I mind big time! 997 01:19:31,647 --> 01:19:34,399 And you know what the worst part of all is? 998 01:19:34,483 --> 01:19:37,361 I never learned to read. 999 01:19:39,905 --> 01:19:41,198 Is that true? 1000 01:19:41,281 --> 01:19:44,284 Yes. Everything except the reading part. 1001 01:19:45,869 --> 01:19:47,621 Nice speech but we're busy. 1002 01:19:47,704 --> 01:19:52,584 Oh, of course. Her music video. Very clever. 1003 01:19:52,668 --> 01:19:54,586 But where is her band? 1004 01:19:54,670 --> 01:19:56,129 Hi, Wayne. 1005 01:19:56,213 --> 01:19:59,591 Oh, hi, guys. I didn't see you there. 1006 01:19:59,675 --> 01:20:03,679 Well, I guess you've thought of everything, huh? 1007 01:20:03,762 --> 01:20:06,598 Nothing left for me to do but just go home. 1008 01:20:06,682 --> 01:20:09,184 Bye-bye, Wayne. It's bedtime. 1009 01:20:09,268 --> 01:20:14,857 But both you and I know that there is no film in this camera. 1010 01:20:18,902 --> 01:20:20,195 Jimmy! 1011 01:20:24,324 --> 01:20:27,786 Wayne...go home! 1012 01:20:37,504 --> 01:20:40,215 Sometimes people outgrow one another. 1013 01:20:40,299 --> 01:20:43,177 It's very sad but you can't let it drag you down. 1014 01:20:43,260 --> 01:20:46,346 Is that you...or the snake? 1015 01:20:50,309 --> 01:20:52,102 Campbell, wait up! 1016 01:20:52,186 --> 01:20:56,648 Cassandra, I know I don't have his looks, I don't have his money, 1017 01:20:56,732 --> 01:21:00,486 I don't have his connections, his knowledge of fine wines, 1018 01:21:00,569 --> 01:21:03,447 when I eat I get this clicking in my jaw... 1019 01:21:03,530 --> 01:21:06,366 Shut your yap and get in the car. 1020 01:21:06,450 --> 01:21:07,743 Excellent. 1021 01:21:20,130 --> 01:21:25,052 That's right, girl. Mr Big's limo is right where we want it. 1022 01:21:31,767 --> 01:21:34,853 Gentlemen, this is it. Let's go. 1023 01:21:34,937 --> 01:21:36,522 Down now! 1024 01:21:44,112 --> 01:21:48,033 Wait up, guys. I fell on my keys. 1025 01:22:08,971 --> 01:22:12,099 - Freeze! - Oh, hi, Russell. How's it going? 1026 01:22:12,182 --> 01:22:16,019 - Hold it! Hey! Hey! - Watch where you're pointing that. 1027 01:22:17,146 --> 01:22:20,399 Give me the flashlight, Russell. Give it to me. 1028 01:22:20,482 --> 01:22:22,192 You can help us, Russell. 1029 01:22:22,276 --> 01:22:24,903 No! I'm supposed to stop you. 1030 01:22:24,987 --> 01:22:26,864 What are you gonna do? 1031 01:22:26,947 --> 01:22:30,033 You gonna be Benjamin's monkey boy all your life? 1032 01:22:30,117 --> 01:22:32,911 - Benjamin's my friend. - No. 1033 01:22:32,995 --> 01:22:36,915 Benjamin is no one's friend. 1034 01:22:36,999 --> 01:22:40,169 If Benjamin were an ice cream flavour, 1035 01:22:40,252 --> 01:22:43,380 he'd be pralines and dick. 1036 01:22:45,507 --> 01:22:46,925 It's OK! 1037 01:22:49,887 --> 01:22:52,598 He's gonna be...OK. 1038 01:22:55,225 --> 01:22:56,518 Hi. 1039 01:22:56,602 --> 01:22:58,395 Hi. How's it going? 1040 01:23:07,779 --> 01:23:10,741 - I love you, man. - I know. 1041 01:23:13,452 --> 01:23:15,370 No, you don't. 1042 01:23:15,454 --> 01:23:17,706 I...love you, man. 1043 01:23:18,999 --> 01:23:21,168 I know. 1044 01:23:21,251 --> 01:23:23,378 Just say thank you. 1045 01:23:29,468 --> 01:23:31,845 Thank you. All right. 1046 01:23:31,929 --> 01:23:35,766 I understand you're doing your job, but I'm very late. 1047 01:23:35,849 --> 01:23:39,436 Would you mind placing your hands on the hood, son? 1048 01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:42,815 There's just one other thing I've got to check. 1049 01:23:59,623 --> 01:24:02,417 OK, this is a special Wayne's World, OK? 1050 01:24:02,501 --> 01:24:07,297 It's for an audience of one. So Mr Frankie Sharp of Sharp Records, 1051 01:24:07,381 --> 01:24:09,925 if you like what you see, 1052 01:24:10,008 --> 01:24:13,595 we're at 2234 Pine Way in Aurora, Illinois. 1053 01:24:13,679 --> 01:24:15,639 So, ladies and gentlemen, 1054 01:24:15,722 --> 01:24:18,976 I give you Cassandra and Crucial Taunt! 1055 01:26:52,296 --> 01:26:56,425 Hi. I'm Frankie Sharp. I saw your performance in my limo. 1056 01:26:56,508 --> 01:26:59,094 I've seen a lot of acts in my day, 1057 01:26:59,178 --> 01:27:03,849 and although you're very beautiful, I just think it's the wrong time. 1058 01:27:03,932 --> 01:27:05,726 I'm sorry. 1059 01:27:07,811 --> 01:27:09,521 You screwed my career! 1060 01:27:10,939 --> 01:27:13,358 I always knew you were small-time. 1061 01:27:14,985 --> 01:27:16,778 Wayne, I'm pregnant. 1062 01:27:16,862 --> 01:27:19,281 That's why I've been so moody. 1063 01:27:22,743 --> 01:27:26,205 Whoa! Look! Fire! Let's get out of here! 1064 01:27:42,304 --> 01:27:44,139 Why, God? 1065 01:27:45,349 --> 01:27:47,434 Why? 1066 01:27:54,066 --> 01:27:58,695 Last night was the most incredible night of my life. 1067 01:27:58,779 --> 01:28:00,823 You were terrific. 1068 01:28:10,457 --> 01:28:12,709 You didn't really think she'd end up with Wayne, did you? 1069 01:28:15,587 --> 01:28:16,922 As if. 1070 01:28:17,005 --> 01:28:19,716 As if we'd end the movie like that. Sh'yeah! 1071 01:28:19,800 --> 01:28:22,136 - The Scooby-Doo ending! - Good call. 1072 01:28:40,863 --> 01:28:45,200 Hi. Frankie Sharp. I saw your performance in my limo. 1073 01:28:45,284 --> 01:28:46,827 Wow! We got through! 1074 01:28:46,910 --> 01:28:50,122 Well, that wraps it up, but there's one last thing. 1075 01:28:50,205 --> 01:28:53,375 Let's just see who you really are, mister. 1076 01:28:54,251 --> 01:28:57,171 Old man Withers from the haunted amusement park! 1077 01:28:57,254 --> 01:29:01,175 I woulda got away with it, too, if not for you snooping kids! 1078 01:29:01,258 --> 01:29:05,471 - Good one, Shaggy. - Excellent Scooby-Doo ending. 1079 01:29:05,554 --> 01:29:09,558 - We should do the megahappy ending. - That's doable. 1080 01:29:28,702 --> 01:29:33,415 Hi. I'm Frankie Sharp. I saw your performance in my limo. 1081 01:29:33,499 --> 01:29:35,876 I must tell you, it was terrific. 1082 01:29:35,959 --> 01:29:41,465 In fact, I think it's so good, I'm gonna give you a six-album deal. 1083 01:29:41,548 --> 01:29:43,050 See you in my office. 1084 01:29:44,259 --> 01:29:47,304 - I love you, Wayne. - I love you, Cassandra. 1085 01:29:51,225 --> 01:29:54,520 - I love you, Garth. - I love you, dreamwoman. 1086 01:29:56,313 --> 01:30:00,359 Ever since I did your show, kids look at me in a whole new way. 1087 01:30:01,109 --> 01:30:03,779 - I love you, man. - And I love you. 1088 01:30:03,862 --> 01:30:09,785 Because I've learned that platonic love can exist between two grown men. 1089 01:30:09,868 --> 01:30:12,079 And I've learned something, too. 1090 01:30:12,162 --> 01:30:15,582 I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, 1091 01:30:15,666 --> 01:30:17,751 the right clothes and a great car 1092 01:30:17,835 --> 01:30:20,754 can get you far in America, almost to the top, 1093 01:30:20,838 --> 01:30:23,048 but it can't get you everything. 1094 01:30:24,341 --> 01:30:27,511 Isn't it great that we're all better people? 1095 01:30:28,554 --> 01:30:31,932 Fished in! Fished in! 1096 01:31:22,357 --> 01:31:24,860 Excellent movie. All right. 1097 01:31:24,943 --> 01:31:26,236 Good one. 1098 01:31:26,320 --> 01:31:28,780 Well, that's all the time for our movie. 1099 01:31:28,864 --> 01:31:32,910 We hope you found it entertaining, whimsical yet relevant, 1100 01:31:32,993 --> 01:31:35,746 with an underlying revisionist conceit 1101 01:31:35,829 --> 01:31:39,958 that belied its emotional attachments to the subject matter. 1102 01:31:40,042 --> 01:31:43,253 I just hope you didn't think it sucked. 1103 01:31:43,337 --> 01:31:46,507 OK. Thank you for coming. Good night and party on. 1104 01:31:46,590 --> 01:31:49,259 - Party on, Wayne. - Party on, Garth. 1105 01:33:55,761 --> 01:34:00,098 You know, I don't think anyone's gonna tell us when to leave. 1106 01:34:00,182 --> 01:34:02,351 Yeah. Good call, Garth. 1107 01:34:02,434 --> 01:34:04,895 I'll bet we're just gonna sit here, 1108 01:34:04,978 --> 01:34:08,398 and when they're finished, they'll fade to black. 1109 01:34:11,235 --> 01:34:13,946 I can't believe they did that. 1110 01:34:14,029 --> 01:34:15,697 I told ya. 1111 01:34:16,305 --> 01:34:22,480 Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com