1 00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:59,218 1936, Jesse Owens. 1960, Cassius Clay. 2 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,261 And now in 1988, the name on everyone's lips, 3 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:05,695 US table tennis champion, Randy Daytona. 4 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:09,861 You've seen him in Sports Illustrated, on the Cinnamon Toast Crunch box. 5 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:13,667 You may even already own his McDonald's collector's glass. 6 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,073 The golden boy who iced Iceland in round one, 7 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,306 and checked off Czechoslovakia in round two. 8 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,980 So why don't we take a moment to meet the real Randy Daytona? 9 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:28,916 Here he is showing us his skills with his lucky Def Leppard paddle 10 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:31,115 that's won him over 200 amateur matches. 11 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:36,026 With him, as always, his coach and father, Sergeant Pete Daytona, of the US Marines. 12 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,260 Randy, you're only 12 years old, and already they're saying 13 00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,731 that your name will go down among those 14 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:44,531 of the greatest Ping-Pong players ever to take up the sport. 15 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,198 And right offhand, I don't know what those names are. 16 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:51,903 Randy, the eyes of all America, and indeed the entire world, 17 00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:53,445 will be on you tonight. 18 00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:55,481 USA! USA! USA! 19 00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,778 2:45 am. The moment you've all been waiting for. 20 00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,012 The men's table tennis semifinals. 21 00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,782 Tiny balls, bouncing for gold. 22 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,380 USA! USA! USA! 23 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:08,553 Now, presenting the United States of America, 24 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,391 Randy Daytona! 25 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,589 Here he is, 26 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:14,827 entering to his unofficial theme song, Rock of Ages, 27 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,096 by the super group Def Leppard. 28 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,468 I love you, Randy! 29 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,774 Hey, big guy, I just want to make sure you're ready. 30 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:25,868 Have you seen my dad? 31 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:26,934 No. 32 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:31,772 Where were you? 33 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,842 You think I'd miss this? 34 00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:42,494 You didn't put money on this, did you? 35 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,291 Dad, you promised. 36 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:45,854 Try not to think about it, okay? 37 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,457 Now, presenting East Germany, 38 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,163 Karl Wolfschtagg! 39 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:59,171 Deutschland! Deutschland! Deutschland! Deutschland! 40 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,753 May the best man win, huh? 41 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,765 I will destroy him! 42 00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,597 Beat that Kraut! 43 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:43,986 Breathtaking intensity surrounds the table 44 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,515 as Daytona and Manslaughter fire away at each other. 45 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,864 Daytona's in the groove. 46 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:57,833 Both men distancing themselves from the table now. 47 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,930 There's a high elevation lob. Tremendous accuracy. 48 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:04,773 And a smash by Manslaughter. And Randy Daytona makes the save. 49 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,783 One more smash! And now Daytona goes back. 50 00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,548 Farther back! 51 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,519 Back! 52 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:25,330 And the crowd rises in anticipation! 53 00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:26,695 He stretches. 54 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:27,994 Look out! 55 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:29,957 Shit! 56 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:36,302 Randy? Randy? You okay? 57 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,310 Randy? Randy? 58 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:42,076 Randy Daytona, unable to finish. 59 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:45,311 Match forfeit to East Germany. 60 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,285 Randy? 61 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,862 I'm going to Disneyland! 62 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,874 Come on, guys. Can't we talk about this? 63 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:13,309 Mr. Feng does not extend credit. 64 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,614 Gentlemen, time is money. 65 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,017 Chop-chop. 66 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:23,815 Jesus! 67 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:28,192 Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles here in Korea. 68 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:31,128 As Reno's golden boy was humiliated in the semifinals, 69 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:35,156 and if he lives to be 100, he'll never live down that Disneyland line. 70 00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:38,362 If he returns to America, a life of shame. 71 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,369 Two tickets to paradise! 72 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:49,211 Won't you pack your bags? We'll leave tonight 73 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,413 I got... Two tickets to paradise! 74 00:05:54,187 --> 00:06:00,387 I got... Two tickets to paradise! 75 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:01,825 Let's go to heaven 76 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,767 Yeah! Thank you! 77 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,632 Take a bow, honey. 78 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,136 There she is! 79 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,231 All right, let's keep the love going for our very next act, 80 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:19,074 The Peppermill's very own Ping-Pong wizard... 81 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,443 Randy Daytona! Randy Daytona! 82 00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:24,244 Come on, let's bring him out. 83 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:31,484 How's everybody feeling this afternoon? 84 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,191 All right! 85 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,782 I don't want to work. 86 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,681 I just want to bang on these drums all day long. Am I right? 87 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,494 Hey! 88 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,301 Thank you! 89 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,433 Hey, a volunteer! How you doing, buddy? 90 00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:28,241 I was just going for more Cheese 'n Mac. 91 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,910 Stop! 92 00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,253 Thank you! 93 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,555 We're in the biz 94 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:49,260 to bring the bewonderment of live theater to these people, 95 00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:53,795 so they will stay for the loosest slots on The Strip. 96 00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:57,832 Not to give them a heart attack, Randy! 97 00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:00,845 Sorry, Rick. It will never happen again. 98 00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:03,541 I know because you're fired. 99 00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:07,476 Get your stink out of my theater. 100 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,550 Sorry, Randy. 101 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,459 But some agent was looking for you backstage. 102 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,520 Maybe he missed the show. 103 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,436 Thank you, Bethany. 104 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,397 My name's Sarah. 105 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,836 Are you kidding me? Uh-uh. 106 00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:33,206 You've called me Bethany for the past five years. It's fine. 107 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,612 Mr. Daytona? Yeah. 108 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,548 Ernie Rodriguez, FBI. 109 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:42,486 Oh, God! I didn't mean to hurt that guy! 110 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,147 How could I know that he had a bad heart? 111 00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:45,781 That's not why I'm here. 112 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:49,294 Hey, actually, I thought that was part of the show. 113 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,695 Till the paramedics showed up, I was laughing my ass off. 114 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:53,789 Well, am I in some kind of trouble or... 115 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:54,890 No. 116 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,366 I came to ask you for your help. 117 00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:59,768 The FBI needs you to take part in a top-secret mission. 118 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,239 One that calls for a man of your unique skills. 119 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,115 I'm not joking, man. I'm FBI. I swear. 120 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:13,845 Come on, man. You got a hidden camera on you, right? 121 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,219 Cut it out. You're not allowed to do that. 122 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,314 Fake gun and everything. 123 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:26,256 Now why don't you put on some big boy pants 124 00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,027 and we'll go for a ride. 125 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,869 The man with the umbrella is our target. 126 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,340 I think you'll want to help us catch him, Randy. 127 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,876 His name is Mr. Feng. 128 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,571 Mr. Feng? 129 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,111 That's the guy that killed my father. 130 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:43,876 I know. 131 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,043 His face has never been photographed. 132 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:49,986 This sketch is based on the description by a late agent of the ATF. 133 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,024 Wait a minute, this guy looks like... 134 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,822 George Takei? Mr. Sulu? I know. It's not, though. We checked him out. 135 00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:58,090 We have reason to believe he's about to make 136 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,496 some kind of a major shipment into the US. 137 00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:03,535 And what, man? What do you want me to do about it? 138 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,036 What you were born to do. 139 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,572 You see, Randy, Feng is a Ping-Pong fanatic. 140 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,904 He played for the Chinese when he was a kid. 141 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,274 Now every five years he brings the best to him. 142 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,711 A high-stakes tournament, at a secret location. 143 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,179 Invitation only. 144 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,216 His men go to tournaments all over the world, 145 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,377 searching for the best of the best. 146 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,048 You see that gold paddle? That's the invitation. 147 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,388 You, Randy, you're our ticket in. 148 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,189 I'm not a spy, man. 149 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,286 Look, you don't have to do anything but play Ping-Pong, man. 150 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,059 You go to a few tournaments and do your stuff. 151 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,360 If you're as good as you used to be, 152 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,264 I'm sure you'll get an invitation. 153 00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:38,428 Look, this year Feng's invited a who's who 154 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,335 of the international most wanted list. 155 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,169 Randy, something big's going down. 156 00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:45,176 Here's the thing. You're bananas. 157 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:49,203 I do matinee shows. I get introduced by a cockatoo. 158 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,613 Mr. Daytona, you're the only one who can lead us to Feng. 159 00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:52,810 I've been authorized to offer you 160 00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:55,319 anything in the government's power if you help us out. 161 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:59,290 You don't get it, do you, man? I don't compete anymore! 162 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:00,689 Okay? 163 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,785 Maybe I never should have. 164 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,137 Caucasians. 165 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:22,644 Hey, Dad. I'm sorry I haven't been around in awhile. 166 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:28,514 And again, I'm sorry about abbreviating your dates on the headstone. 167 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:34,388 The numbers were, like, 100 bucks a pop, and apostrophes were free so... 168 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,573 Excuse me? 169 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,131 Excuse me! 170 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,007 The new slide's a little close, isn't it? 171 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:57,209 What are you gonna do? They sold the air rights to the cemetery. 172 00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,774 They sold the air rights to a cemetery? 173 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:03,379 It's a pretty okay water slide, though. It's called Eerie Canals. 174 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:08,450 I guess it's a theme that it's haunted. Something. 175 00:12:08,527 --> 00:12:09,824 Look out! 176 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,665 All right. I'm in. 177 00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:58,908 I love that smell. 178 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,071 Good to be back on the circuit again, huh? 179 00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:05,376 I meant pancakes. 180 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,510 I love the smell of pancakes. 181 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,780 Okay, you're not here to have fun. 182 00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:10,845 All right? You're here to win. Get your head in the game. 183 00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:12,550 What, do you think Feng is gonna have scouts here? 184 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,718 No, but you got to win here to get to State. 185 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,853 You are gonna win, right? 186 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,056 I can take these punks. 187 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,066 All right, first up we have Andy... 188 00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,993 Randy Daytona 189 00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:30,838 versus our four-time Western Conference Champion, 190 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,844 The Hammer. 191 00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,005 I don't know what the hell he's talking about. 192 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,405 I'm still trying to figure out if it's a dude or a chick. 193 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:18,516 No mercy, Randy. 194 00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,875 Have your grandma pull the car around. 195 00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,795 Can you dig it? 196 00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,942 Tastes good. 197 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,479 11 to 3! 198 00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:20,251 I told you I was rusty. I haven't competed in 19 years. 199 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,412 Why don't you cut me some slack, man? 200 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,978 I need some time to warm up. 201 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:27,389 Time we don't have. Feng's tournament's in two weeks. 202 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,757 Man, I got to get you in shape. 203 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,232 We're here. 204 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:40,600 The world's greatest Ping-Pong instructor owns a takeout restaurant? 205 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,073 Don't hate. The school's upstairs. 206 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:49,047 This guy's blind, so let me do the talking. 207 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,344 Wong won't train just anybody. 208 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,849 And he never trains gweilo. 209 00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:55,614 Who? Gweilo. 210 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,748 It means "round eye." Gringo. You, man. 211 00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:00,917 He only takes Chinese students. 212 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,594 Damn, bro. 213 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:07,492 Hey... 214 00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:14,898 You okay, dude? 215 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,236 Get out! 216 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,503 Get out. I don't teach gweilo. 217 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,213 How did you know that we were gweilo? 218 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:26,877 Same way that I can tell you are 30 years old. 219 00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,613 Too old to start training. 220 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,213 Pudgy. 221 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,588 You are filled with self-doubt. 222 00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:37,789 And you use Lady Speed Stick. 223 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,457 It was on sale. 224 00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,669 Feng was my most gifted pupil. 225 00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:54,512 He played table tennis like the devil in short shorts. 226 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,372 But he had expensive taste. 227 00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:00,685 He began to steal and extort. 228 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:04,450 Turning my school of table tennis into a den of thieves. 229 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:09,023 And when I cast him out, he joined the Triad. 230 00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,426 He lured my brother Le Ping in with him. 231 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:14,660 And when Le Ping tried to go straight, he killed him. 232 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,531 Le Ping's daughter was left fatherless. 233 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,333 If you help Randy and me get to Feng's, we'll nail him. 234 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:21,873 I give you my word. 235 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,809 I will help you, secret agent man. 236 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,575 You will start training tomorrow, Randy. 237 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:33,175 Bring only your strength, your honor and a check for $300. 238 00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:35,345 Hey, secret agent man. 239 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,821 I tell you something right now, the truth. 240 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,951 Your boy will not pull it off. We need a natural. 241 00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:44,860 Something I can work with. You know what I mean. 242 00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,433 Dude! What? 243 00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:55,996 What did I miss? 244 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:05,343 Well, if it isn't the infamous Randy Daytona. 245 00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:09,114 How was Disneyland? Did you meet Dumbo? 246 00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,520 Is it always this crowded? 247 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,751 Only when I'm not teaching. 248 00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:20,155 That's my niece, Maggie Wong Mei Fei. 249 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,969 She brings her father, Le Ping, great honor. 250 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,809 Wong's Mu Shu Palace, how can I help you? 251 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,283 She will be the one who will be giving you 252 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,413 hands-on training. 253 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:47,015 Gives "wax off" a whole new meaning. 254 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:54,658 Rule one, gweilo. No touching my niece. 255 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:55,722 Understand? 256 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,200 Yeah, I understand. 257 00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,446 What? 258 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,213 Table jockey. 259 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,085 Let them work it out, man. Let them work it out. 260 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:18,749 What does she weigh? Like, 40 pounds? 261 00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:28,857 Come on, man. They're gonna kick your ass! 262 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,465 Who wants to... Oh. 263 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:49,972 Maggie! 264 00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:53,745 Your temper brings dishonor to my Happy Mu Shu Palace. 265 00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,320 You'll be sorry, Wong! 266 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:02,952 And teaching gweilo is forbidden. You know that! 267 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,655 I'll tell the elders. 268 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,097 You will have to face the Dragon. 269 00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:13,194 Let me tell you what you can tell the Dragon. 270 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,920 Now, gweilo, we begin. 271 00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:38,222 Ping-Pong is not the Macarena. 272 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:42,233 It takes patience. 273 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:46,670 She is like a fine, well-aged prostitute. 274 00:21:46,738 --> 00:21:50,139 It takes years to learn her tricks. 275 00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:56,370 She is cruel. 276 00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:58,609 Laughs at you when you are naked. 277 00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:03,721 But you keep coming back for more and more. 278 00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:04,983 Why? 279 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:08,356 Because she is the only prostitute I can afford. 280 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,496 Gweilo, give me your paddle. 281 00:22:12,564 --> 00:22:14,259 Here. 282 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:20,033 Now, for the time being, you will practice with this. 283 00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:22,965 What, are you crazy? 284 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:25,874 It's impossible, man. Nobody can do that. 285 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,075 That was nice. 286 00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:30,375 All right. 287 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:34,313 Come on. 288 00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:38,212 One more time. 289 00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:45,624 Come on. 290 00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:56,299 Do I have to eat that? 291 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:59,811 To strengthen the body and not the mind 292 00:22:59,911 --> 00:23:02,709 is to build a temple on shifting sand. 293 00:23:04,349 --> 00:23:06,977 In my hand I hold a cricket. 294 00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:12,390 What'd you do that for? Don't take the cricket from my hand. 295 00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:14,948 Who the hell said, "Take the cricket from my hand"? 296 00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:16,926 I just... Put it back. 297 00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:21,265 That is my lucky cricket. 298 00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:24,592 Oh. 299 00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:29,634 Well, he just... He flew out of my hand, man. 300 00:23:31,109 --> 00:23:32,542 You squished him? 301 00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:33,976 No. 302 00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:35,410 You squished lucky cricket? 303 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,469 No. 304 00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:40,814 Thanks a lot, kid! 305 00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:50,389 So, Maggie, what do you do when you're not here? 306 00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:53,226 So sorry, don't speak English. 307 00:23:56,668 --> 00:24:00,434 But didn't I hear you speak English on the phone yesterday? 308 00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:04,066 No, you must be mistaken, because I don't speak any English. 309 00:24:04,142 --> 00:24:05,939 I'm just trying to get better acquainted. 310 00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:08,946 I know what you're trying to get, table jockey. 311 00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:10,948 For as long as I can remember, guys have been in here 312 00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:14,008 with their hands all over me, with your stupid come-ons. 313 00:24:14,085 --> 00:24:16,349 "Give me a hand with my balls, Maggie." 314 00:24:16,421 --> 00:24:17,615 Let me guess. 315 00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:21,056 You're not around girls much or you probably wouldn't play Ping-Pong, right? 316 00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,117 Yeah, well, I thought that your dad played Ping-Pong. 317 00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:27,222 Do not compare yourself to my father. My father was a great man. 318 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:28,994 I'm not. It's just a game. 319 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,001 It's not just a game! 320 00:24:31,069 --> 00:24:34,766 It is a proud tradition my family have devoted their lives to! 321 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,671 You treat that tradition like a joke. 322 00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:40,336 Uncle says you have no honor. I say you have no shot. 323 00:24:40,412 --> 00:24:43,347 So turn off the charm, table jockey. 324 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,148 Oh, God. 325 00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:54,588 You need to build wrist strength. 326 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:57,685 Eye-hand coordination. 327 00:24:57,762 --> 00:24:59,161 Endurance. 328 00:25:01,733 --> 00:25:03,758 Oh, come on! 329 00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:08,067 You got me hitting balls with spoons. I'm swatting flies, now? 330 00:25:08,139 --> 00:25:11,108 You not hit flies. You hit bees. 331 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,768 What? 332 00:25:14,412 --> 00:25:15,743 Come on! 333 00:25:18,049 --> 00:25:19,277 Oh, shit! 334 00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:23,921 Oh, shit! 335 00:25:31,930 --> 00:25:34,694 You are halfway through your training. 336 00:25:34,766 --> 00:25:36,961 Now comes the difficult part. 337 00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:39,092 The backhand. 338 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:55,850 You must believe in yourself when no one else does. 339 00:25:57,188 --> 00:25:59,383 Like right now, for instance. 340 00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:04,687 What? 341 00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:08,194 What do you mean I hit the net? 342 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:09,859 Dad! 343 00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:12,225 Freeze! 344 00:26:12,771 --> 00:26:14,432 Hands on your head! 345 00:26:18,176 --> 00:26:21,612 Oh, that's right, man. I'm in Chinatown. 346 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,443 I'm sorry, man. 347 00:26:25,283 --> 00:26:28,116 Want to pop off a couple of rounds? Always makes me feel better. 348 00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:29,676 Listen to me. 349 00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:33,087 Are you a real, fully-licensed FBI guy? 350 00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:35,752 I'm serious, man. I mean, why... 351 00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:40,287 You know, why would a real FBI guy take on a mission like this? 352 00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:43,630 Nobody else would be caught dead on Operation Ping-Pong. 353 00:26:43,702 --> 00:26:46,830 All right, they don't expect us to catch Feng. 354 00:26:46,905 --> 00:26:49,032 They got 20 agents working other angles, man. 355 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:50,870 I'm the backup plan. 356 00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,774 Look, I joined the company for action, man. 357 00:26:56,848 --> 00:27:00,045 You know, car chases, hang-gliding, James Bond stuff. 358 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:03,019 Drinking martinis, saving girls from danger. 359 00:27:04,322 --> 00:27:06,085 I haven't gotten to wear a tuxedo 360 00:27:06,157 --> 00:27:08,819 since my goddaughter Martha's quinceañera, man. 361 00:27:08,893 --> 00:27:12,260 For the last five years, I've been at a desk, typing. 362 00:27:14,366 --> 00:27:16,493 I'm up to 70 words a minute. 363 00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:20,264 Hello. 364 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:22,739 Maggie, is that you? 365 00:27:22,807 --> 00:27:24,138 Slow down. 366 00:27:24,876 --> 00:27:26,070 Slow down in English. 367 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:44,885 What happened? 368 00:27:47,966 --> 00:27:50,196 "Teaching outsiders is forbidden." 369 00:27:50,268 --> 00:27:52,828 We've defied the elders, now they're shutting us down. 370 00:27:52,904 --> 00:27:56,396 They have forbidden me to teach in Chinatown, forever. 371 00:27:56,474 --> 00:27:58,942 Well, don't worry. The FBI's gonna find out who did this. 372 00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:01,774 We know who did it. It is written right there. 373 00:28:04,549 --> 00:28:07,109 No, no, no, no. No FBI. 374 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:09,619 We will settle this in our own way. 375 00:28:11,556 --> 00:28:15,925 Gweilo, only you can restore our honor. 376 00:28:15,994 --> 00:28:17,928 You must go to the elders. 377 00:28:17,996 --> 00:28:20,089 You must face the Dragon. 378 00:28:20,165 --> 00:28:21,723 Okay, well, time out. 379 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,598 We don't have time for some ancient Chinese pissing contest. 380 00:28:24,669 --> 00:28:26,330 Feng's match is coming up. 381 00:28:26,404 --> 00:28:29,066 And if we want Feng's scouts to see Randy win some trophies, 382 00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:31,836 we got to get him out to some tournaments. 383 00:28:31,910 --> 00:28:33,343 Foolish secret agent man. 384 00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:35,971 Real Ping-Pong is not played for trophies. 385 00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:40,040 It is played in the shadows, in dark alleys and backrooms 386 00:28:40,118 --> 00:28:43,747 for hard cash and cheap, ugly women. 387 00:28:44,756 --> 00:28:49,352 If gweilo beats the Dragon, it will reach Feng's ears, 388 00:28:49,427 --> 00:28:50,894 I assure you. 389 00:28:59,938 --> 00:29:03,897 We're here. The lair of the Dragon. 390 00:29:03,975 --> 00:29:05,636 From here we go alone. 391 00:29:09,948 --> 00:29:11,074 Good luck, kid. 392 00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:12,582 Thanks, man. 393 00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:22,915 Randy, wait. 394 00:29:22,994 --> 00:29:24,325 Yeah? 395 00:29:24,395 --> 00:29:26,727 I want you to have this. 396 00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:27,787 It belonged to my father. 397 00:29:27,866 --> 00:29:29,128 Whoa. 398 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,795 Maggie, I can't take this. 399 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,570 He'd have wanted you to have it. 400 00:29:36,641 --> 00:29:38,666 Take it, you are ready. 401 00:29:38,743 --> 00:29:40,938 It has defeated many enemies. 402 00:29:42,847 --> 00:29:45,008 Good luck, Randy. 403 00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:46,277 Thanks. 404 00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:52,419 Come, gweilo. 405 00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:57,393 The Dragon is the most feared table tennis player in all Chinatown. 406 00:30:18,516 --> 00:30:21,144 Welcome to the underbelly of Ping-Pong. 407 00:30:21,219 --> 00:30:24,450 Where fortunes are won and lost. 408 00:30:24,522 --> 00:30:28,390 I'm exaggerating, of course, but you get my point. 409 00:30:28,459 --> 00:30:30,654 People bet on Ping-Pong here. 410 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,625 So you think you're good, huh, gweilo? 411 00:30:37,702 --> 00:30:39,932 Well, put money where mouth is. 412 00:30:42,941 --> 00:30:45,409 $4. No pay, no play. 413 00:30:46,578 --> 00:30:49,069 Got change for $5? That's all I got. 414 00:31:12,136 --> 00:31:13,763 This guy doesn't seem so tough to me. 415 00:31:13,838 --> 00:31:15,703 That is not the Dragon. 416 00:31:18,943 --> 00:31:21,138 That is the Dragon. 417 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:36,554 Gweilo, 418 00:31:37,328 --> 00:31:40,661 remember, you suck when you are nervous. 419 00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,024 Thanks, Master. 420 00:31:51,709 --> 00:31:54,610 First player to lead by 3, wins. 421 00:31:54,679 --> 00:31:56,340 Gweilo loses, 422 00:31:56,414 --> 00:32:00,646 Wong and his descendants are banished from Chinatown forever. 423 00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:03,346 And by extension, all of Orange County. 424 00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:13,158 Dragon says, "This serve, no can defend." 425 00:32:13,231 --> 00:32:16,598 No one has hit it back in five years of table tennis. 426 00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:35,576 She say, "No fair. She wasn't ready." 427 00:32:35,653 --> 00:32:38,952 She say, "That wasn't real no can defend serve. 428 00:32:39,023 --> 00:32:42,720 "This next one, this, no can defend." 429 00:32:45,830 --> 00:32:47,354 "So watch out." 430 00:33:01,212 --> 00:33:02,736 She say, 431 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:06,648 "Maybe we need to take a break. Get some fresh air. Cool off." 432 00:33:32,143 --> 00:33:33,508 Yes! 433 00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:35,779 I said, "Yes!" 434 00:33:37,648 --> 00:33:39,673 That is right! 435 00:33:40,785 --> 00:33:42,150 Am I right? 436 00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:44,251 Just say, "Yes." 437 00:33:44,322 --> 00:33:45,414 Fine! 438 00:33:51,963 --> 00:33:53,294 Oh, jeez. 439 00:33:55,566 --> 00:33:57,295 Come on, little kid. 440 00:33:57,935 --> 00:34:01,371 Don't be so hard on yourself, you know. You got mad skills. 441 00:34:12,817 --> 00:34:15,149 I warn you guys, I know tai chi. 442 00:34:37,475 --> 00:34:38,772 Here's your money. 443 00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:43,704 Unfortunately, it's covered in snot. 444 00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:49,980 I knew you could do it, man! 445 00:34:50,054 --> 00:34:51,544 He won, right? 446 00:34:55,359 --> 00:34:56,849 What the hell? 447 00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:14,309 Mr. Daytona. 448 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:19,682 Your balls have been tempered in the fury of hell's Dragon. 449 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:27,720 Wow! 450 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:31,956 My master, Mr. Feng, would be honored to have you at his tournament. 451 00:35:46,410 --> 00:35:50,312 Which way is the freeway? I seem to have gotten turned around. 452 00:35:50,414 --> 00:35:51,813 Oh, yeah. 453 00:35:57,788 --> 00:35:58,982 I knew that. 454 00:35:59,056 --> 00:36:00,045 Yeah. 455 00:36:01,459 --> 00:36:04,428 Mr. Daytona, we'll see you at the tournament. 456 00:36:09,867 --> 00:36:12,165 What? What am I missing? 457 00:36:12,236 --> 00:36:14,431 Oh, we got the golden paddle. 458 00:36:16,407 --> 00:36:20,901 As you can see, the paddle contains a riddle in Chinese. 459 00:36:31,322 --> 00:36:34,849 "On the longest day, two hands reach towards heaven. 460 00:36:34,926 --> 00:36:36,826 "We enter the clouds." 461 00:36:38,062 --> 00:36:39,859 Of course. 462 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,024 When both hands reach up on what? 463 00:36:42,099 --> 00:36:44,158 A clock. That's noon. 464 00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:46,965 Longest day. Wednesday, nine letters. 465 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:49,199 We enter the clouds, that's got to be an airfield. 466 00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:52,071 Yeah, but which airfield? There are a dozen in Orange County alone. 467 00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:54,805 John Wayne Airport, maybe. They got a private hangar there 468 00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:58,838 owned by a Japanese corporation goes by the name of Haiku Cargo. 469 00:36:59,684 --> 00:37:00,946 Check this out. 470 00:37:01,018 --> 00:37:04,385 On the longest day. Yeah. It's 5-7-5. That's a haiku. 471 00:37:05,489 --> 00:37:06,751 That's impressive. Yeah. 472 00:37:06,824 --> 00:37:08,485 It's on the back of the paddle here in English. 473 00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:09,992 Noon, Wednesday, John Wayne Airport. 474 00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:12,655 Each player can bring a coach, a doctor, two carry-ons. 475 00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:14,823 Goose, run them through the hardware they'll need. 476 00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:16,560 I have stripped everything down for you. 477 00:37:16,634 --> 00:37:19,398 This is your homing device, this is the transmitter. 478 00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:23,099 So you just plant it, flip the switch and backup's on its way. 479 00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:25,199 Don't screw this up, Rodriguez. 480 00:37:25,276 --> 00:37:28,973 Do not signal unless you have proof of what Feng is up to. 481 00:37:29,046 --> 00:37:31,776 We don't want theories. We want him caught red-handed, 482 00:37:31,849 --> 00:37:33,942 with hard evidence, so we can put him away for good. 483 00:37:34,018 --> 00:37:35,042 Yes, sir. 484 00:37:35,119 --> 00:37:36,518 So let me guess, fellows. 485 00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:38,782 We're gonna stick this in the heel of our shoe, 486 00:37:38,856 --> 00:37:41,757 put it in a tube of toothpaste, something like that? 487 00:37:41,826 --> 00:37:44,886 I think we'll have to sneak this in the old-fashioned way. 488 00:37:44,962 --> 00:37:47,157 What's the old-fashioned way? 489 00:38:13,691 --> 00:38:15,181 God, slow down. 490 00:38:15,259 --> 00:38:17,284 We should go alone from here. 491 00:38:17,361 --> 00:38:20,853 Good luck, secret agent man. Take care of Uncle, okay? 492 00:38:20,931 --> 00:38:23,229 Uncle can take care of himself. 493 00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:25,463 Oh, man. 494 00:38:27,772 --> 00:38:30,263 What's the stick for, man? Come on. 495 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:37,671 Okay. 496 00:38:37,748 --> 00:38:42,708 Never hug a man with a million bucks worth of hardware up his crack. 497 00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:44,448 Sorry. It's okay. 498 00:38:46,290 --> 00:38:48,520 Go ahead and kiss her already! 499 00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:51,852 So embarrass... 500 00:39:02,406 --> 00:39:04,135 Come back, gweilo. 501 00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:22,250 Bye. 502 00:39:30,935 --> 00:39:32,402 Nice plane. 503 00:39:34,105 --> 00:39:35,697 Team Daytona. 504 00:39:38,008 --> 00:39:39,771 This way, gentlemen. 505 00:39:48,919 --> 00:39:52,218 Oh, you got to be kidding me. Where we going, Tijuana? 506 00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:17,604 It is with great honor that I present your host. 507 00:41:19,243 --> 00:41:22,144 The man who sold the Dragon his fire, 508 00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:24,613 stole it back, 509 00:41:24,682 --> 00:41:26,582 and sold it again to the Crips. 510 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,743 Give it up for Master Feng. 511 00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:51,801 How's my collar? 512 00:41:56,113 --> 00:41:57,944 Man, we were way off George Takei. 513 00:42:05,055 --> 00:42:06,522 Okie-dokie artichokie. 514 00:42:06,590 --> 00:42:09,923 First of all, I know getting here was the commute from hell. 515 00:42:09,994 --> 00:42:13,395 I have to be a smidge off the beaten track here. 516 00:42:13,464 --> 00:42:19,096 Now, Ping-Pong, or, as the Chinese say, 517 00:42:19,169 --> 00:42:20,261 "Ping-Pong," 518 00:42:20,337 --> 00:42:24,899 sport of emperors and bandits alike. 519 00:42:24,975 --> 00:42:29,002 I have assembled today, for your entertainment pleasure, 520 00:42:29,079 --> 00:42:33,812 the most talented table tennis athletes from around the globe. 521 00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:36,409 Legends, every one. 522 00:42:36,487 --> 00:42:38,955 We have last year's North American champion 523 00:42:39,023 --> 00:42:41,651 and holder of the Canadian cup, 524 00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:44,023 Mr. Freddy "Fingers" Wilson. 525 00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:48,226 Represent. 526 00:42:48,299 --> 00:42:52,395 Four-time Australian champion, Mr. Wedge McDonald! 527 00:42:57,007 --> 00:42:58,167 Cutie. 528 00:42:59,109 --> 00:43:03,876 From Japan, Mr. Yukito Nagasaki! 529 00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:11,821 My personal odds-on favorite from the '88 games, 530 00:43:11,889 --> 00:43:16,292 possibly the greatest player ever to emerge from the West. 531 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,526 He came out of retirement to be here, and it's an honor to have him. 532 00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:25,058 He's back and he's bad, the one and only Karl Wolfschtagg! 533 00:43:25,869 --> 00:43:27,131 Yeah! 534 00:43:28,973 --> 00:43:31,567 So, we meet again. 535 00:43:34,678 --> 00:43:37,476 The years have not been kind to you. 536 00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:39,379 I will not be either. 537 00:43:39,450 --> 00:43:42,977 We have champions from every continent so, please, 538 00:43:43,053 --> 00:43:45,078 everyone, wear a nametag. 539 00:43:50,928 --> 00:43:55,490 And now, eat, drink, enjoy. 540 00:44:00,404 --> 00:44:01,928 My goodness! 541 00:44:02,006 --> 00:44:04,201 What a blast from the past! 542 00:44:07,044 --> 00:44:09,205 If it isn't my old master. 543 00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:12,676 Wong. 544 00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:15,548 You old horn dog. How's tricks? 545 00:44:17,788 --> 00:44:23,192 I've waited many years to meet you again, face to face. 546 00:44:25,629 --> 00:44:27,324 Oh, thank you. 547 00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:32,802 Tell me, Randy, does he still dress as if he shops at Elton John's garage sale? 548 00:44:32,870 --> 00:44:35,270 So, Randy Daytona. 549 00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:38,672 The golden boy who couldn't even bronze. You're Wong's new protégé. 550 00:44:38,742 --> 00:44:42,940 Well, FYI, 551 00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:45,573 Wong always said I was his greatest pupil. 552 00:44:45,649 --> 00:44:49,483 I said you could have been great, but you never finished your training. 553 00:44:49,553 --> 00:44:53,353 As I recall, you kicked me out. 554 00:44:53,424 --> 00:44:57,383 But you did teach me one thing, Master. 555 00:44:57,461 --> 00:44:58,723 Promptness. 556 00:44:58,796 --> 00:45:01,629 And you were 15 minutes late to the banquet. 557 00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:03,189 Soup got cold. 558 00:45:16,947 --> 00:45:19,142 Oh, Feng! 559 00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:28,752 Don't let it happen again. 560 00:45:30,928 --> 00:45:33,192 Gentlemen. Athletes. 561 00:45:33,864 --> 00:45:35,593 I bid you toodles. 562 00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:56,952 May I invite you to select from one of Mr. Feng's courtesans of pleasure. 563 00:45:57,020 --> 00:45:58,612 Like sex slaves? 564 00:46:02,793 --> 00:46:03,987 No. 565 00:46:05,395 --> 00:46:07,454 No, I couldn't do that. 566 00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:11,426 No, I couldn't. I couldn't. 567 00:46:14,171 --> 00:46:15,399 No, no. 568 00:46:15,472 --> 00:46:17,940 I got this girlfriend back home. 569 00:46:18,008 --> 00:46:21,444 I mean, she's not my girlfriend. "Yet." 570 00:46:21,512 --> 00:46:23,503 Mr. Feng has gone to great lengths 571 00:46:23,580 --> 00:46:27,016 to select the most beautiful courtesans from around the world. 572 00:46:27,084 --> 00:46:31,544 They are fully versed in both the sensual and the erotic arts. 573 00:46:32,322 --> 00:46:35,018 Well, I mean, I don't want to be rude. 574 00:46:49,973 --> 00:46:51,304 What's up? 575 00:46:53,310 --> 00:46:55,540 These are... These are all... 576 00:46:55,612 --> 00:46:57,603 These guys, these are dudes. 577 00:46:57,681 --> 00:47:02,448 They are fully prepared to satisfy each and every one of your desires. 578 00:47:02,519 --> 00:47:08,355 Well, my desires are pretty much all satisfied up, right now. 579 00:47:09,359 --> 00:47:10,826 So, I'm good. 580 00:47:10,894 --> 00:47:12,862 You must choose one. 581 00:47:15,499 --> 00:47:18,059 Look, tell Feng they are all so great... 582 00:47:18,135 --> 00:47:19,966 Fine. I'll pick. 583 00:47:20,037 --> 00:47:21,129 Gary. Yo! 584 00:47:21,205 --> 00:47:22,229 Feeling good? Oh, yeah. 585 00:47:22,306 --> 00:47:24,365 Hop to it. The rest of you, get out. 586 00:47:24,441 --> 00:47:25,669 That... 587 00:47:29,179 --> 00:47:30,339 Can I talk to you for a second? 588 00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:32,905 Sweet dreams, Mr. Daytona. 589 00:47:44,161 --> 00:47:47,130 I got a huge day tomorrow. Big day. 590 00:47:47,197 --> 00:47:48,425 Can you... 591 00:47:48,498 --> 00:47:49,522 No can do. 592 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,763 Look, if I don't spend the night in here, it's... 593 00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:55,527 Are you kidding me? 594 00:47:55,606 --> 00:47:56,595 No, I'm not kidding. 595 00:47:56,673 --> 00:47:59,107 If I had known I'd end up as a sex slave, 596 00:47:59,176 --> 00:48:02,077 I never would've gone to that audition in Orlando. 597 00:48:02,145 --> 00:48:03,635 I thought I was gonna be doing cruise ship shows. 598 00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:06,740 Next thing I know, boom. Sex slave. 599 00:48:06,817 --> 00:48:08,978 Always read the fine print, amigo. 600 00:48:09,052 --> 00:48:11,919 Hey, you want a brew? I sure could use one. 601 00:48:12,923 --> 00:48:14,584 Yeah. Yeah. Cool. 602 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:18,821 Here you go, dude. 603 00:48:31,275 --> 00:48:32,469 So... So. 604 00:48:35,679 --> 00:48:37,112 Board game? You want to play a board game? 605 00:48:37,180 --> 00:48:38,977 Yes, play a board game. Okay, cool. 606 00:48:42,019 --> 00:48:43,543 Whoa, you got Boggle, huh? 607 00:48:43,620 --> 00:48:46,180 That sounds like a challenge to me. 608 00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:48,349 Yeah, okay, sure. 609 00:48:50,694 --> 00:48:52,059 All right. 610 00:48:53,964 --> 00:48:56,524 Sounds like somebody's getting lucky. 611 00:49:02,706 --> 00:49:06,802 Oh, no, no, dude. I want a rematch. Best out of seven! 612 00:49:06,877 --> 00:49:10,074 You can not defeat me. I am the Boggle master. 613 00:49:10,814 --> 00:49:13,510 Kick some ass out there. Kick some ass, all right? 614 00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:14,709 All right. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. 615 00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:16,252 Be careful. Okay? 616 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,185 All we did was play Boggle. 617 00:49:18,255 --> 00:49:20,746 Hey, how you doing, Master? Good morning. 618 00:49:20,824 --> 00:49:22,792 Oh, gweilo. 619 00:49:22,859 --> 00:49:25,327 Have you tried these pleasure girls? 620 00:49:25,395 --> 00:49:28,660 My girl, she really knows how to handle a man. 621 00:49:28,732 --> 00:49:29,994 Oh, boy! 622 00:49:32,002 --> 00:49:35,438 What the hell is up with these courtesans of pleasure? 623 00:49:36,206 --> 00:49:38,902 Master had a fantastic time last night. 624 00:49:40,344 --> 00:49:42,209 Oh, man. 625 00:49:42,279 --> 00:49:43,303 Yeah. 626 00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:44,870 Did you find anything? 627 00:49:44,948 --> 00:49:46,848 They got this place locked down pretty tight, 628 00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:48,350 but I'm gonna snoop around today. 629 00:49:48,418 --> 00:49:49,442 Okay. 630 00:50:03,266 --> 00:50:04,358 Huh? 631 00:50:05,202 --> 00:50:07,261 He needs to go to bathroom. 632 00:50:07,838 --> 00:50:11,797 Down the hall, eighth door on the left. 633 00:50:11,875 --> 00:50:13,570 The switch is on the right. 634 00:50:40,303 --> 00:50:44,000 Welcome to my tournament of champions. 635 00:50:44,074 --> 00:50:48,773 The tournament is single elimination, sudden death. 636 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:51,377 Let the games begin. 637 00:50:51,448 --> 00:50:54,042 The game is to 11. 638 00:50:54,117 --> 00:50:55,379 Must win by two. 639 00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:58,612 The first competitors are... 640 00:50:59,089 --> 00:51:01,284 Freddy "Fingers" Wilson. 641 00:51:01,358 --> 00:51:02,382 Wonderful. 642 00:51:02,459 --> 00:51:04,256 This is Freddy Fingers. 643 00:51:12,536 --> 00:51:13,696 And... 644 00:51:15,105 --> 00:51:16,868 Randy Daytona. 645 00:51:22,512 --> 00:51:24,673 Hello, Feng's mansion! 646 00:51:27,984 --> 00:51:29,747 How was Disneyland? 647 00:52:02,018 --> 00:52:03,451 Good luck, man. 648 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:05,681 Blow it out your ass, bitch. 649 00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:11,218 Game point. 650 00:53:22,265 --> 00:53:25,257 Randy Daytona is the victor. 651 00:53:28,371 --> 00:53:29,429 Randy! 652 00:53:29,506 --> 00:53:30,871 Give it up! 653 00:53:31,308 --> 00:53:33,606 Can I hear a word? 654 00:53:33,677 --> 00:53:36,305 Can I hear a double "huh-huh"? 655 00:53:50,961 --> 00:53:52,292 Randy. 656 00:53:53,630 --> 00:53:55,154 Fantastique. 657 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:58,824 Wong always did have an eye for talent. 658 00:53:58,902 --> 00:54:01,029 Too bad they're not good for anything else. 659 00:54:03,340 --> 00:54:04,534 You killed him? 660 00:54:04,608 --> 00:54:05,768 Well, duh. 661 00:54:05,842 --> 00:54:08,811 What part of "sudden death" didn't you understand? 662 00:54:45,949 --> 00:54:47,177 Ow! 663 00:55:02,799 --> 00:55:04,426 What's up? 664 00:55:04,501 --> 00:55:09,029 Come, walk with me. Randy, I have a proposition for you. 665 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:13,400 I won't bite. Not anywhere that will show. 666 00:55:18,682 --> 00:55:22,209 Guess a guy like you has to have a lot of security around all the time, huh? 667 00:55:22,285 --> 00:55:26,278 Oh, them. They're just for show. Nobody'd try anything in here. 668 00:55:27,691 --> 00:55:29,352 Give me the thing. 669 00:55:30,126 --> 00:55:32,560 This is the real security. 670 00:55:32,629 --> 00:55:35,120 The whole place is wired to blow. 671 00:55:35,198 --> 00:55:39,862 I'd hate to have to relocate. The place ain't much, but it's homey. 672 00:55:43,073 --> 00:55:44,233 Voilà. 673 00:55:49,479 --> 00:55:54,348 I don't usually give strangers the full tour, but I don't know. Randy... 674 00:55:57,587 --> 00:55:58,952 I like you. 675 00:56:02,625 --> 00:56:03,990 Go ahead. 676 00:56:04,060 --> 00:56:05,425 After you. 677 00:56:11,835 --> 00:56:16,431 Guns is my new business, and business is booming. 678 00:56:16,506 --> 00:56:19,566 These new polymer guns go on sale Thursday. 679 00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:22,270 They go right through a metal detector. 680 00:56:22,345 --> 00:56:23,972 Enough shop talk. 681 00:56:31,087 --> 00:56:33,487 Let me show you my pride and joy. 682 00:56:34,991 --> 00:56:35,980 Snazzy. 683 00:56:36,059 --> 00:56:37,083 Yeah. 684 00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,856 It's my own private table. Custom made. 685 00:56:40,830 --> 00:56:43,958 You have to wear these vests to play. 686 00:56:44,033 --> 00:56:48,163 The batteries in them store enough electricity to kill 3.8 men. 687 00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:50,638 Every time you miss, the voltage doubles. 688 00:56:50,707 --> 00:56:53,904 Two-nothing feels like you just stuck a fork in a toaster. 689 00:56:53,977 --> 00:56:56,468 Nobody's ever made it past three-zip. 690 00:56:56,546 --> 00:57:00,312 This guy here, five-time world champ. 691 00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:06,419 Randy, let me cut through the bullpoop. 692 00:57:06,489 --> 00:57:11,893 I'd like you to come and work for me as my personal assistantlhanger-on. 693 00:57:13,530 --> 00:57:15,054 Me? Yeah. 694 00:57:15,131 --> 00:57:16,223 Why? 695 00:57:16,299 --> 00:57:20,099 Because I think you'd make a wonderful addition to the Triad. 696 00:57:21,204 --> 00:57:22,262 Really? Me? 697 00:57:22,338 --> 00:57:24,272 Of course not, no. 698 00:57:24,340 --> 00:57:28,333 I want you 'cause it would break Wong's heart. 699 00:57:28,411 --> 00:57:32,939 Me, his old pupil, luring his protégé to the dark side 700 00:57:33,016 --> 00:57:35,075 is such a Kodak moment. 701 00:57:41,658 --> 00:57:46,595 Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a panda these days? 702 00:57:46,663 --> 00:57:48,062 Really hard. 703 00:57:50,099 --> 00:57:53,830 Maybe he's dead. I'm not sure. I'm not really sure what they eat. 704 00:57:56,673 --> 00:57:57,935 Oh, well. 705 00:58:04,113 --> 00:58:05,546 Back to the old grindstone. 706 00:58:05,615 --> 00:58:06,877 Oh, man. 707 00:58:27,537 --> 00:58:31,029 You're gonna come to the Vishnu shrine in the bamboo grove. 708 00:58:31,107 --> 00:58:36,739 You're gonna go, lower hand low five, lower hand low five, upper hand high five. 709 00:58:36,813 --> 00:58:39,213 And then you're in. You got it? 710 00:58:40,483 --> 00:58:41,575 What? 711 00:58:44,053 --> 00:58:46,453 If the guns are there, I'll set the beacon and my guys will be here 712 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,286 before he scores another point. All right? Relax. 713 00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:49,882 Just hurry! 714 00:58:58,935 --> 00:59:01,836 I blow you a fart. How do you like that? 715 00:59:02,906 --> 00:59:07,502 Randy Daytona versus Yukito Nagasaki. 716 00:59:56,626 --> 00:59:58,617 This one is for you, Daytona! 717 01:00:02,565 --> 01:00:04,499 Set and match. 718 01:00:13,776 --> 01:00:15,334 Where's everybody at? 719 01:00:15,411 --> 01:00:17,743 Coming up after the break, the final round. 720 01:00:17,814 --> 01:00:21,545 Randy Daytona versus Karl Wolfschtagg. 721 01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:31,921 You are so close to defeat, till it already reeks of your cheap cologne. 722 01:00:31,995 --> 01:00:36,295 The joke's on you, pretty boy. It's not cologne, it's Lady Speed Stick. 723 01:00:38,034 --> 01:00:39,661 Thank you, Master. 724 01:00:48,144 --> 01:00:51,739 Listen to me. You said that you were gonna get me out of here, right? 725 01:00:51,814 --> 01:00:55,045 They were supposed to be here by now. Look, don't worry, Randy. 726 01:00:55,118 --> 01:00:56,449 I got a plan B. 727 01:00:56,519 --> 01:00:57,850 You got a plan B? 728 01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:01,048 Trust me. Meet me in the john in two minutes. 729 01:01:07,864 --> 01:01:09,195 Welcome to Feng's bathroom. 730 01:01:09,265 --> 01:01:10,289 Hey. 731 01:01:10,366 --> 01:01:13,665 May I interest you in an Altoid or some Axe Body Spray? 732 01:01:13,736 --> 01:01:16,534 Hey, these shoes look like they need a shine? 733 01:01:25,181 --> 01:01:26,512 Hi. 734 01:01:26,582 --> 01:01:27,708 Hi. 735 01:01:27,784 --> 01:01:29,217 Daytona. 736 01:01:29,285 --> 01:01:34,018 I have said some cruel things about you to my friends here at the tournament. 737 01:01:34,090 --> 01:01:36,752 I told them that the reason that you hate me so much 738 01:01:36,826 --> 01:01:39,351 is because I had sex with your mother. 739 01:01:39,429 --> 01:01:41,863 My mother died when I was two. I hardly knew her. 740 01:01:41,931 --> 01:01:44,764 Yeah, I know. It's a horrible thing to say. 741 01:01:45,768 --> 01:01:50,330 And yet these things that I say, over and over again, 742 01:01:53,609 --> 01:01:55,338 I do not mean them. 743 01:01:56,946 --> 01:01:59,141 'Cause, in truth, 744 01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:02,707 you are the greatest player I have ever seen. 745 01:02:04,353 --> 01:02:06,014 Other than myself. 746 01:02:07,090 --> 01:02:09,422 Practicing in front of a mirror. 747 01:02:11,094 --> 01:02:12,459 Which I do. 748 01:02:14,263 --> 01:02:15,525 Every day. 749 01:02:18,201 --> 01:02:19,600 In the nude. 750 01:02:22,472 --> 01:02:25,600 I'm sorry for you that your papa is not here to see you. 751 01:02:25,675 --> 01:02:27,472 I think he would be very proud of you. 752 01:02:27,543 --> 01:02:29,204 Yeah. 753 01:02:29,278 --> 01:02:33,578 So proud of you that he would probably bet some money on you again. 754 01:02:34,717 --> 01:02:37,652 I could use the cash. Ha-ha. 755 01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,621 Tell your dead parents I said, "What's up?" 756 01:03:01,010 --> 01:03:02,409 We're staying. 757 01:03:03,479 --> 01:03:05,174 Win or lose, I got to play him. 758 01:03:06,282 --> 01:03:10,514 I can't keep running away from that German fruit salad. 759 01:03:10,586 --> 01:03:13,020 Now I am proud. 760 01:03:13,089 --> 01:03:17,025 It is better to die like a tiger than to live like a pussy. 761 01:03:18,661 --> 01:03:20,959 I'm gonna go tell Rodriguez. 762 01:03:23,599 --> 01:03:24,930 Rodriguez? 763 01:03:30,072 --> 01:03:31,437 Rodriguez? 764 01:03:32,241 --> 01:03:34,004 Open! Eat it! 765 01:03:35,044 --> 01:03:36,409 Eat it! 766 01:03:42,251 --> 01:03:44,811 How was I supposed to know you were gonna change your mind? 767 01:03:44,887 --> 01:03:48,448 Silence. What's done is done. Let's hope it works. 768 01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:49,786 I hate you guys. 769 01:03:49,859 --> 01:03:52,657 Mr. Feng, there's been an accident. 770 01:03:52,728 --> 01:03:53,922 Oh, no! 771 01:03:55,731 --> 01:03:56,891 What have you... 772 01:03:56,966 --> 01:03:58,934 I broke it. 773 01:04:01,637 --> 01:04:02,797 Oh, my God! 774 01:04:02,872 --> 01:04:04,237 Did that hurt? Yes! 775 01:04:04,307 --> 01:04:05,467 Oh, dear. 776 01:04:08,544 --> 01:04:12,378 I have no choice. I have to disqualify you. 777 01:04:12,448 --> 01:04:15,144 I suppose Karl is our champion. 778 01:04:15,218 --> 01:04:18,517 Oh yeah! Oh yeah! 779 01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,749 This is far from over, Daytona! 780 01:04:20,823 --> 01:04:21,812 You suck! 781 01:04:21,924 --> 01:04:25,860 Hey! Hey, come on. That stings. Who said that? 782 01:04:27,263 --> 01:04:31,199 Well, poop. Randy, I was serious about my offer, okay? 783 01:04:31,267 --> 01:04:33,531 And e-mail me when you make up your mind. 784 01:04:33,603 --> 01:04:37,903 I'm Pradafan1@gmail.com. "Pradafan" is all one word. 785 01:04:37,974 --> 01:04:40,704 I can't tell you how disappointed I am. 786 01:04:52,421 --> 01:04:58,087 I'm afraid your reputation has preceded you, Agent Rodriguez. 787 01:04:59,095 --> 01:05:01,723 Are you still waiting for your backup? 788 01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:07,134 Bad guys have homing beacons, too. 789 01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:12,068 Competition will continue as scheduled. 790 01:05:13,643 --> 01:05:15,702 Hope you're a good southpaw. 791 01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:31,659 Three-point game. To the death. 792 01:05:35,197 --> 01:05:36,425 Come on. 793 01:05:57,620 --> 01:05:59,520 I'm cool, man. I'm cool. 794 01:06:06,362 --> 01:06:09,525 Oops. Clumsy, clumsy hippos. 795 01:06:09,598 --> 01:06:11,395 You should be more careful with your racquet. 796 01:06:11,467 --> 01:06:13,526 It's not like I get these shoes for free. 797 01:06:13,602 --> 01:06:15,968 Oh, wait. Yes, I do. I do get them for free. 798 01:06:16,038 --> 01:06:17,471 Time out. 799 01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:21,135 Master, look. It's your brother's paddle. It's my winning paddle. 800 01:06:21,210 --> 01:06:22,768 I mean, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do now. 801 01:06:22,845 --> 01:06:25,279 Gweilo! Have I taught you nothing? 802 01:06:27,016 --> 01:06:29,951 Game not in paddle. Game in you. 803 01:06:32,088 --> 01:06:34,420 You cannot change what is past. 804 01:06:35,391 --> 01:06:37,882 You must play for this man. 805 01:06:41,397 --> 01:06:44,059 Here, use this paddle. 806 01:06:45,334 --> 01:06:48,633 It belongs to the greatest player I have ever known. 807 01:07:01,417 --> 01:07:02,975 Thanks, Master. 808 01:07:16,899 --> 01:07:19,390 Gunter, glieben, glauchen, globen 809 01:07:23,105 --> 01:07:24,595 All right 810 01:07:26,876 --> 01:07:29,811 I got something to say 811 01:07:29,879 --> 01:07:34,680 Yeah, it's better to burn out 812 01:07:34,750 --> 01:07:37,810 Yeah, than fade away 813 01:07:40,156 --> 01:07:42,317 All right 814 01:07:49,098 --> 01:07:51,464 Gonna start a fire 815 01:07:54,437 --> 01:07:55,631 Come on 816 01:07:55,704 --> 01:07:57,899 Rise up, gather round 817 01:07:57,973 --> 01:08:00,168 Rock this place to the ground 818 01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:02,335 Burn it up, let's go for broke 819 01:08:02,411 --> 01:08:04,743 Watch the night go up in smoke 820 01:08:04,814 --> 01:08:07,078 Rock on, rock on 821 01:08:07,149 --> 01:08:09,276 Drive me crazier 822 01:08:09,351 --> 01:08:11,581 No serenade, no fire brigade 823 01:08:11,654 --> 01:08:14,350 Just pyromania, come on 824 01:08:14,423 --> 01:08:16,414 What do you want? 825 01:08:16,492 --> 01:08:18,119 What do you want? 826 01:08:18,194 --> 01:08:20,992 I want rock 'n' roll 827 01:08:21,063 --> 01:08:22,963 Yes, I do 828 01:08:23,032 --> 01:08:25,227 Long live rock 'n' roll 829 01:08:25,301 --> 01:08:27,166 Oh, let's go, let's strike a light 830 01:08:27,236 --> 01:08:29,227 We're gonna blow like dynamite 831 01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:37,268 There will be a slight change in today's program for the final match. 832 01:08:37,346 --> 01:08:40,713 The part of Karl Wolfschtagg will be played by... 833 01:08:47,056 --> 01:08:48,990 Maggie! Randy. 834 01:08:49,058 --> 01:08:50,355 Maggie! No, Randy, no. 835 01:08:50,426 --> 01:08:54,419 You get to play her to the death. 836 01:08:54,497 --> 01:08:57,489 I thought this would be much more interesting, huh? 837 01:08:57,566 --> 01:08:58,897 You bastard. What? 838 01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:01,061 This is an outrage! 839 01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:02,832 This is an outrage! 840 01:09:02,905 --> 01:09:06,306 I demand retribution! I did not come all this way... 841 01:09:09,945 --> 01:09:12,004 Oh, great, blow dart, yeah? 842 01:09:12,815 --> 01:09:13,975 Super. 843 01:09:25,327 --> 01:09:26,589 Master, you got to help me out. 844 01:09:26,662 --> 01:09:28,687 You got to give me some advice, anything, please. 845 01:09:28,764 --> 01:09:30,755 Sorry, gweilo, I'm out. 846 01:09:30,866 --> 01:09:34,768 "Game not in paddle, game in you," is usually my big finish. 847 01:09:43,746 --> 01:09:44,735 I missed you. 848 01:09:44,813 --> 01:09:45,905 I missed you, too. 849 01:09:45,981 --> 01:09:49,678 Hey. Less talkie-talkie. More Ping-Pong. 850 01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:54,845 Three-point game to the death. 851 01:09:59,061 --> 01:10:00,460 Maggie, come on. 852 01:10:00,529 --> 01:10:02,759 I'm not gonna play you, Randy. 853 01:10:04,066 --> 01:10:07,194 It would be an honor for me to give you my life. 854 01:10:08,337 --> 01:10:11,272 One-zero. Randy Daytona. 855 01:10:19,782 --> 01:10:22,512 I don't know why you couldn't just say that you love me. 856 01:10:22,585 --> 01:10:23,677 I... 857 01:10:24,353 --> 01:10:25,377 One-One. 858 01:10:25,454 --> 01:10:27,149 That's not fair. That wasn't fair. 859 01:10:27,823 --> 01:10:30,690 Randy, I'm trying to sacrifice my life for our love. 860 01:10:30,759 --> 01:10:32,522 Stop being such a dick! 861 01:10:34,763 --> 01:10:37,061 I'm not gonna let you lose, Maggie. 862 01:10:39,301 --> 01:10:40,427 Here we go. 863 01:10:44,773 --> 01:10:46,798 This is not very honorable! 864 01:10:52,848 --> 01:10:54,509 I love you, Maggie. 865 01:11:00,489 --> 01:11:03,754 Boring. Kill them. Kill them both. 866 01:11:03,826 --> 01:11:05,953 We're missing Antiques Roadshow. 867 01:11:09,665 --> 01:11:10,757 No. 868 01:11:17,339 --> 01:11:18,772 Oh, crap! 869 01:11:22,711 --> 01:11:24,941 Get to cover! Come on! 870 01:11:25,014 --> 01:11:28,882 You want to play rough? Okay! Go! Go! Go! 871 01:11:32,254 --> 01:11:35,883 Stop it! Are you insane? These are not replicas! 872 01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:40,224 Well, some of them are, but they're limited edition replicas. 873 01:11:40,296 --> 01:11:42,196 Backup's right outside, they just signaled. 874 01:11:42,264 --> 01:11:44,926 I didn't sneak in two of these for nothing. 875 01:11:48,771 --> 01:11:51,035 This is the FBI. 876 01:12:01,517 --> 01:12:03,007 Oh, my God! What? 877 01:12:03,085 --> 01:12:05,610 Wait a minute, I forgot something, guys. 878 01:12:05,688 --> 01:12:06,677 What? 879 01:12:06,755 --> 01:12:08,052 Come here, baby. 880 01:12:09,858 --> 01:12:10,916 Wish me luck. 881 01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:12,017 Good luck. 882 01:12:12,094 --> 01:12:13,561 Get to the dock! 883 01:12:13,629 --> 01:12:15,221 He took my Uzi. 884 01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:27,008 Get away from the door! 885 01:12:31,113 --> 01:12:32,341 Sweet. 886 01:12:33,916 --> 01:12:35,440 Well, that was awesome of me. 887 01:12:36,518 --> 01:12:38,782 Dude, I totally knew you'd rescue me! 888 01:12:38,887 --> 01:12:43,381 Okay! All right! Okay! All right! As a friend! As a friend, I rescued you. 889 01:12:43,459 --> 01:12:44,483 Oh, right. Yeah. Right. 890 01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:45,959 Follow me! 891 01:12:46,929 --> 01:12:48,954 This way. Up the stairs! 892 01:12:49,932 --> 01:12:51,365 Oh, crap! 893 01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:57,300 So what? What? What are you gonna do? 894 01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:59,364 You gonna murder me like you murdered my father? 895 01:12:59,441 --> 01:13:01,636 You people sound like a broken record. 896 01:13:01,710 --> 01:13:05,476 "You killed my so-and-so and you murdered what's- his-face." 897 01:13:05,547 --> 01:13:09,039 "I demand..." Blah-blah-blah. Get over it. 898 01:13:09,785 --> 01:13:12,982 Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't, don't, don't. Feng. 899 01:13:13,856 --> 01:13:16,552 Listen, you kill me now, 900 01:13:16,625 --> 01:13:19,560 we're never gonna know who Wong's best pupil is. 901 01:13:20,295 --> 01:13:21,592 For the record, 902 01:13:22,631 --> 01:13:25,657 I think we all assume that it is Randy. 903 01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:32,264 You win, Wong. 904 01:13:32,341 --> 01:13:34,639 Let's settle this, once and for all. 905 01:13:34,710 --> 01:13:36,143 This rescue sucks, dude. 906 01:13:36,211 --> 01:13:37,644 I know. Huh? 907 01:13:37,713 --> 01:13:39,510 Not you, you're doing great. 908 01:13:40,783 --> 01:13:44,082 Guys. Guys. Guys! 909 01:13:48,724 --> 01:13:52,717 You, take the self-destruct doohickey. Just show it to the FBI. 910 01:13:52,795 --> 01:13:56,060 Explain the house is rigged to blow. That will buy us time. 911 01:13:57,733 --> 01:13:58,927 Ready, gweilo? 912 01:14:14,049 --> 01:14:15,573 Any last words? 913 01:14:17,152 --> 01:14:18,210 Yeah. 914 01:14:20,889 --> 01:14:23,687 Self-destruct sequence activated. 915 01:14:29,631 --> 01:14:32,566 Five minutes to detonation and counting. 916 01:14:33,001 --> 01:14:34,468 It's your point, Feng. 917 01:14:34,536 --> 01:14:36,936 I know. My serve, I think. 918 01:14:38,440 --> 01:14:40,408 What the hell are you doing? It's over, Feng. 919 01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:42,808 The Ping-Pong table doesn't know that. 920 01:14:42,878 --> 01:14:46,279 If we stop playing, it will kill us both. 921 01:14:46,348 --> 01:14:48,111 You mean, you can't turn it off? 922 01:14:48,183 --> 01:14:50,083 God, that's so stupid! 923 01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:51,141 Randy. 924 01:14:51,220 --> 01:14:52,244 Get to the boat! 925 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,152 Okay, let's get out of here. 926 01:14:54,723 --> 01:14:56,816 I'm gonna save the panda! 927 01:15:00,696 --> 01:15:02,186 The panda's dead! 928 01:15:02,798 --> 01:15:05,790 All right, FBI! You are all under arrest! 929 01:15:06,435 --> 01:15:07,527 FBI! 930 01:15:09,404 --> 01:15:10,530 FBI! 931 01:15:16,678 --> 01:15:17,736 Oh, shit! 932 01:15:22,985 --> 01:15:24,316 That's my point, Feng. 933 01:15:30,626 --> 01:15:31,957 But you missed the table! 934 01:15:32,027 --> 01:15:33,790 I changed the rules a little. 935 01:15:33,862 --> 01:15:35,489 I should have told you. 936 01:15:35,564 --> 01:15:38,658 The way I play, you could hit it off anything you want. 937 01:15:38,734 --> 01:15:41,168 One bounce, it counts. My bad. 938 01:15:41,236 --> 01:15:42,669 Son of a bitch! 939 01:16:12,601 --> 01:16:13,727 Guys! 940 01:16:18,106 --> 01:16:19,971 This guy looks really tough. 941 01:16:21,810 --> 01:16:23,300 You take him. 942 01:16:59,014 --> 01:17:00,914 Two minutes to detonation. 943 01:17:03,685 --> 01:17:05,949 You should've taken my offer. 944 01:17:06,021 --> 01:17:09,684 I would've given you anything. Anything in the world! 945 01:17:09,758 --> 01:17:11,749 I want my father back! 946 01:17:11,827 --> 01:17:12,987 Lots of luck! 947 01:17:30,612 --> 01:17:32,079 Come on, get up. 948 01:17:32,414 --> 01:17:35,611 Come on, fast, fast, fast. Heads down. Heads down. 949 01:17:35,684 --> 01:17:38,812 Get your own boat, Pedro! I call this one. 950 01:17:41,356 --> 01:17:43,620 Guys! Guys! 951 01:17:43,692 --> 01:17:48,129 Me, the money and the Chinese broad are taking off. 952 01:17:50,132 --> 01:17:51,360 You see this pen? 953 01:17:51,433 --> 01:17:56,336 This pen contains enough cyanide to kill everyone within 100-yard radius. 954 01:17:56,405 --> 01:17:58,703 Do you think I'd come in here without a backup plan? 955 01:17:58,774 --> 01:18:01,800 I'm FBI, pendejo! 956 01:18:01,877 --> 01:18:04,641 Now, here's how it's gonna go down. 957 01:18:09,618 --> 01:18:11,882 Hola. You like chorizo? 958 01:18:12,654 --> 01:18:15,316 Let's get out of here. He's gonna be really mad. 959 01:18:17,359 --> 01:18:18,553 Randy! 960 01:18:19,795 --> 01:18:22,423 Remember what I told you, gweilo! 961 01:18:23,031 --> 01:18:26,558 Feng only finished one-half of his training. 962 01:18:30,005 --> 01:18:31,097 Come on. 963 01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:44,951 I believe it's my serve, Feng. 964 01:18:47,022 --> 01:18:50,514 Big deal. I never finished the training. 965 01:18:50,592 --> 01:18:54,358 What's that mean? I have no honor or something? 966 01:18:54,429 --> 01:18:56,454 It means you have no backhand. 967 01:19:16,151 --> 01:19:19,416 Oh, shit! 968 01:19:37,672 --> 01:19:43,042 Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... 969 01:19:43,111 --> 01:19:44,305 Jump! 970 01:19:44,379 --> 01:19:49,112 ... five, four, three, two, one. 971 01:20:07,068 --> 01:20:08,365 Dude, that was amazing! 972 01:20:08,436 --> 01:20:09,460 I love you! 973 01:20:09,538 --> 01:20:10,562 We are so proud of you! 974 01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:13,733 Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. 975 01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:16,039 Seriously, stop it! 976 01:20:38,400 --> 01:20:39,992 You ready, pussycat? 977 01:20:41,603 --> 01:20:43,833 Say hello to my little friend! 978 01:20:47,475 --> 01:20:48,499 Are you okay? 979 01:20:48,577 --> 01:20:50,442 Let's go, pussycat, one more time. 980 01:20:50,512 --> 01:20:51,536 You got it? 981 01:20:51,613 --> 01:20:52,602 Yeah. 982 01:20:54,149 --> 01:20:55,548 Oh, no! 983 01:20:58,787 --> 01:20:59,776 I heard that. 984 01:21:01,990 --> 01:21:04,015 Okay, no more games. 985 01:21:06,761 --> 01:21:09,195 Let me help you with that, Master. 986 01:21:10,799 --> 01:21:12,266 There you go. 987 01:21:12,334 --> 01:21:16,998 Hey, I wanted to thank you for everything that you've done for me. 988 01:21:17,072 --> 01:21:21,475 So I got you a little something. 989 01:21:23,712 --> 01:21:26,272 It's really not necessary. 990 01:21:26,348 --> 01:21:28,316 But Master will accept. 991 01:21:29,885 --> 01:21:33,150 What is it? Let me guess. It's something small. 992 01:21:33,221 --> 01:21:34,245 No, don't... 993 01:21:34,322 --> 01:21:36,222 Cufflinks? It's a ring. 994 01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:37,815 I love jewelry. 995 01:21:39,127 --> 01:21:41,186 I can't guess. What is it? 996 01:21:42,063 --> 01:21:44,054 It's a new lucky cricket. 997 01:21:44,466 --> 01:21:45,455 Oh. 998 01:21:51,539 --> 01:21:52,597 Was. 999 01:21:53,575 --> 01:21:55,770 I shall carry it with me always. 1000 01:21:55,844 --> 01:21:56,936 Yeah. 1001 01:21:58,947 --> 01:22:01,848 Don't bother. He's pretty much dead. 1002 01:22:02,584 --> 01:22:04,176 No, no, no. I will carry the box. 1003 01:22:04,252 --> 01:22:07,016 It will bring my spare change great honor. 1004 01:22:07,088 --> 01:22:09,579 Okay, you do that. You do that. 1005 01:22:09,724 --> 01:22:11,089 Hey, gweilo! 1006 01:22:12,327 --> 01:22:13,988 I just want to say 1007 01:22:16,965 --> 01:22:18,523 no hard feelings, huh? 1008 01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:21,434 Good luck on the new school, gweilo. 1009 01:22:22,537 --> 01:22:23,902 Thanks, man. 1010 01:22:35,450 --> 01:22:40,012 Dragon say, "May Wong's school of table tennis last 1,000 years. 1011 01:22:40,088 --> 01:22:42,886 "Or at least until the lease is up in August." 1012 01:22:43,658 --> 01:22:45,956 Oh, thanks. 1013 01:22:46,027 --> 01:22:48,552 It's nice. Thank you very much. 1014 01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:51,497 You know, I think we all learned a valuable lesson. 1015 01:22:57,806 --> 01:23:00,639 Dragon say, "This is not over yet, whitey!" 1016 01:23:04,846 --> 01:23:06,473 Walk it off, Randy. 1017 01:23:08,183 --> 01:23:14,281 A true Ping-Pong player must always be aware of his surroundings. 1018 01:23:19,627 --> 01:23:21,527 Master, are you all right? 1019 01:23:22,797 --> 01:23:25,095 I am going to Disneyland. 1020 01:23:26,768 --> 01:23:29,430 Maybe we should keep this closed. 1021 01:23:30,205 --> 01:23:33,504 There's a gate here. There's a blind man walking around. 1022 01:24:17,152 --> 01:24:18,176 Feng! 1023 01:24:21,022 --> 01:24:22,148 Shit! 1024 01:25:03,131 --> 01:25:05,827 I'm not leaving without you, Ying-Ying! 1025 01:25:09,871 --> 01:25:11,429 Panda's totally fake. 1026 01:25:53,915 --> 01:25:55,348 Feng, not Fang. 1027 01:25:55,416 --> 01:25:56,974 Feng? Feng. 1028 01:25:57,051 --> 01:25:59,144 I've been calling you Fang this whole time. 1029 01:25:59,220 --> 01:26:00,812 F-E-N-G. 1030 01:26:00,889 --> 01:26:01,947 Feng? 1031 01:26:02,023 --> 01:26:03,012 All right. 1032 01:26:03,091 --> 01:26:04,080 Please.