1
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Police Constable Nicholas Angel.
Born and schooled in London.

2
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Graduated Canterbury University in 1993
with a double first in politics and sociology.

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Attended Hendon College of Police Training.

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Displayed great aptitude in field exercises.

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Notably, urban pacification and riot control.

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Back off!

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Academically excelled in theoretical
course work and final year examinations.

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Received the Baton of Honor.

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Graduated with distinction into
the Metropolitan Police Service.

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Quickly established an effectiveness
and popularity within the community.

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Use your brain.

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Proceeded to improve skill base
with courses in advanced driving

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and advanced cycling.

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Became heavily involved
in a number of extra vocational activities.

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To this day holds the Met record
for the 100 meter dash.

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In 2001 began active duty with
the renowned SO 19 armed response unit.

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Received a bravery award for efforts
in the resolution of Operation Crackdown.

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In the last 12 months
has received nine special commendations.

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Achieved the highest arrest record
for any officer in the Met.

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And sustained three injuries
in the line of duty.

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Most recently in December when wounded
by a man dressed as Father Christmas.

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- Hello, Nicholas.
- Hello, Sergeant.

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- How's the hand?
- Still a bit stiff.

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It can get awfully hairy out there.

25
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I'm surprised you weren't snapped up
sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did.

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I prefer to think my office is
out on the street.

27
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Indeed, you do.

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Your arrest record is 400% higher
than any other officer.

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Which is why it's high time
that such skills were put to better use.

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- We're making you Sergeant.
- I see.

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In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

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- In where, sorry?
- In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

33
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- That's in the country.
- Yes, lovely.

34
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Isn't there a Sergeant's position
here in London?

35
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No.

36
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- Can I remain here as a PC?
- No.

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- Do I have any choice in this?
- No.

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Sergeant, I kind of like it here.

39
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Well, you've always wanted
to transfer to the country.

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- In 20 years or so, yes.
- Well done, you.

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Hang on, I don't remember telling you that.

42
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Yes, you did. You said,

43
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"I'd love to settle down
in the country sometime, Janine."

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I'd like to talk to the Inspector.

45
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You can speak to the Inspector,
but I can promise you

46
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he will tell you
exactly the same thing as I have.

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- Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?
- It's still a bit stiff.

48
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- And how are things at home?
- I'm sorry, sir?

49
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How's Janine?

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We're no longer together, sir.

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- Right. Then where are you living?
- He's staying at the Section House, sir.

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- With the recruits?
- Yes, he's living out of cardboard boxes.

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Well, then, you're packed already.

54
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Nicholas, we're offering you a smashing
position with a delightful cottage,

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in a lovely little place
that I think has won Village of the Year

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I don't know how many times.
It'll be good for you.

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- I don't really know what to say.
- Yes?

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Yes, thank you.

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No, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...

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- You want to take this higher?
- Yes, yes, I do.

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You want me to bother
the Chief Inspector with this?

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Yes.

63
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You want me to get the Chief Inspector
to come all the way down here?

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- Yes, I do.
- Okay.

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Kenneth!

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- Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?
- Still a bit stiff.

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- Chief Inspector...
- Keep your seat.

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Now, I know what you're going to say,

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but the fact is,
you've been making us all look bad.

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I'm sorry, sir?

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Of course we all appreciate your efforts,

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but you've been rather
letting the side down.

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It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.

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You can't be the Sheriff of London.

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If we let you carry on running round town,

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you'll continue to be exceptional
and we can't have that.

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You'll put us all out of a job.

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With respect, sir.

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- You can't just make people disappear.
- Yes, I can. I'm the Chief Inspector.

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Well, however you spin this, there's
one thing you haven't taken into account.

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And that's what the "team"
is gonna make of this.

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- Hello?
- Janine, it's me.

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I know. I'm at work.

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I know, I'm outside.

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What's the situation?

86
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You know the situation.
We've been over this.

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No, I... I meant here.

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Two people involved,
distinct signs of a struggle.

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Complete mess.

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- You are talking about here?
- Nicholas, what do you want?

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Well, I have something important to tell you
and I didn't wanna do it over the phone.

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Janine, I've been transferred.
I'm moving away for a while.

93
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I'm not Janine.

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Janine, I've been transferred.
I'm moving away for a while.

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I know. Bob told me.

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Hello, there.

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Well, I wanted to tell you in person.

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And there's no reason
we can't be civil with each other.

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It's not that long ago
we were talking about getting married.

100
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Yes, but you were already married
to the force, weren't you?

101
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We're actually supposed to call it
"the service" now.

102
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Official vocab guidelines state
that "force" is too aggressive.

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See. It's only ever about the job.

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- It's all you care about.
- That's not true.

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No, you're right,
you do have that rubber plant.

106
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- It's a Japanese Peace Lily.
- You just can't switch off, Nicholas.

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And until you find a person you care
about more than your job, you never will.

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Besides, you were the one
who suggested we take a break.

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Yes, well,
guilty people often make the first move.

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Actually, there's something
I need to tell you.

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- You're seeing someone else.
- Yes. How did you...

112
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- Is it Bob?
- No.

113
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Does Bob look like
the kind of person I'd go out with?

114
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It's Dave.

115
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Hello, there.

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I see.

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Oh, Nicholas.

118
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You do realize that window
was broken from the inside?

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Hello there, Nicholas,
Frank Butterman here, your new Inspector.

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I'm just calling with details
of your accommodation.

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We've got you a lovely little cottage
on Spencer Hill.

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Look forward to meeting you anon. Cheerio.

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Nicholas, Frank again.
One other thing about your cottage.

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It's not ready.

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It would appear the heavens have opened.

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- I was hoping to check in.
- Check in?

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But you've always been here.

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- Excuse me?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

129
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I thought you were my husband.

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- You must be Sergeant Angel.
- Yes, I am.

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I'm Joyce Cooper.
I trust you had a pleasant trip. Fascist.

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I beg your pardon?

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"System of Government characterized
by extreme dictatorship." Seven across.

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- Oh, I see. It's "fascism."
- Fascism. Wonderful.

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Now, we've put you in the Castle Suite.
Bernard will escort you up there.

136
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Well, actually,
I could probably make my own way up. Hag.

137
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I beg your pardon?

138
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"Evil old woman considered
frightful or ugly." It's 12 down.

139
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Oh, bless you.

140
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- Pint of lager, please, Mary.
- Right you are, my love.

141
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:11,727
Yes, sir, what can I get you?

142
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Could I have a glass
of the cranberry juice, please?

143
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Certainly.

144
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Now, you wouldn't, by any chance,
be the new policeman?

145
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Police officer, yes. I'm Nicholas Angel.

146
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- I'm Roy Porter. This is my wife Mary.
- Mary.

147
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Welcome to Sandford.

148
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If there's anything you need,
just let us know.

149
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Thank you. Could I borrow your newspaper?

150
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It's not ours, love.

151
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We're not big fans of the local fish wrapper,
are we, Mare?

152
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- They listed her age as 55.
- When I'm actually 53.

153
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Fifty-three.

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- Pint of lager, please, Mary.
- Right you are, my love.

155
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- Excuse me.
- What?

156
00:11:22,292 --> 00:11:24,711
- When's your birthday?
- Twenty-second of February.

157
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- What year?
- Every year.

158
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Get out.

159
00:11:29,173 --> 00:11:34,386
- When's your birthday?
- Eighth of May, 1969.

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- You're 37?
- Yeah.

161
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Get out.

162
00:11:37,556 --> 00:11:38,682
When's your birthday?

163
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Out.

164
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- Is there a problem, Officer?
- Yes, there is, Mr. Porter.

165
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It would appear a number
of your patrons are under age.

166
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Well, a few of them may be
a month or two south of proper.

167
00:11:50,484 --> 00:11:53,237
But if they're in here,
it stops them getting into trouble out there.

168
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Yeah, the way we see it,
it's all for the greater good.

169
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The greater good.

170
00:11:56,865 --> 00:12:01,161
Well, that's as may be,
but the law's the law and they'll have to go.

171
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- Another cranberry juice?
- I'm fine, thank you.

172
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I hope you're not planning on driving that.

173
00:12:33,899 --> 00:12:35,025
No.

174
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Right. I'm taking you to the station.

175
00:12:55,419 --> 00:12:56,795
Where is it?

176
00:13:03,593 --> 00:13:04,719
What?

177
00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:16,480
Move.

178
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,278
"Nicholas Angel."

179
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,906
- Oh, when did you start?
- Tomorrow.

180
00:13:27,365 --> 00:13:29,783
Well, I see you've already arrested
the whole village.

181
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Not exactly.

182
00:13:31,869 --> 00:13:34,788
- You in for the night?
- Go on, four's free.

183
00:13:34,871 --> 00:13:38,250
- Hey, now, I need to speak to him.
- He'll be no use till the morning.

184
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,501
I see.

185
00:13:39,584 --> 00:13:42,587
You really want to process all this lot?

186
00:13:43,463 --> 00:13:46,007
- My pen's running out.
- Not a problem.

187
00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:26,752
- Morning, Sergeant.
- Morning.

188
00:14:26,836 --> 00:14:28,004
Morning.

189
00:14:29,046 --> 00:14:30,214
Morning, Sergeant.

190
00:14:32,299 --> 00:14:34,176
Morning, Sergeant.

191
00:14:39,222 --> 00:14:41,432
- Lock me up.
- I'm sorry?

192
00:14:41,516 --> 00:14:43,643
I'm a slasher and I must be stopped.

193
00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:48,189
- You're a what?
- A slasher of prices.

194
00:14:49,690 --> 00:14:54,486
Just kidding. I'm Simon Skinner.
I run the local supermarché.

195
00:14:54,736 --> 00:14:58,198
Drop in and see me sometime.
My discounts are criminal.

196
00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:00,200
Catch me later!

197
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,495
Morning, Sergeant.

198
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,127
Morning, Sergeant.

199
00:15:15,756 --> 00:15:18,967
Could you tell the Inspector
I've arrived, please?

200
00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:20,593
No.

201
00:15:21,177 --> 00:15:22,428
Why?

202
00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:24,847
He's not in yet.

203
00:15:25,139 --> 00:15:27,600
- Well, how's our guest?
- Guest?

204
00:15:27,683 --> 00:15:32,312
- The inebriate in cell four.
- I don't know. Nobody tells me nothing.

205
00:15:37,776 --> 00:15:39,611
Can I get cell four open, please?

206
00:15:39,694 --> 00:15:41,779
Danny, can you open four?

207
00:15:44,323 --> 00:15:48,786
- He's gone.
- Oh, my God. Who's gone?

208
00:15:51,789 --> 00:15:55,959
- Why are you dressed like a police officer?
- Because I am one.

209
00:15:56,835 --> 00:15:59,254
Sergeant Angel, at last. Frank Butterman.

210
00:16:00,422 --> 00:16:03,508
- I see you've already met my boy.
- Yes.

211
00:16:05,468 --> 00:16:08,763
Do forgive me.
I'm something of a Wild West nut.

212
00:16:08,846 --> 00:16:13,183
Speaking of which, that was a fair
few outlaws you rounded up last night.

213
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:14,935
Thank you, sir.

214
00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:19,939
I admire your enthusiasm
and far be it from me to stifle your flair,

215
00:16:20,023 --> 00:16:22,734
but this isn't London.
Oh, yes, please, Danny.

216
00:16:22,817 --> 00:16:23,943
With respect, sir,

217
00:16:24,027 --> 00:16:27,280
geographical location shouldn't factor
in the application of the law.

218
00:16:27,363 --> 00:16:28,656
No, thanks.

219
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:32,659
Statistically, Sandford is
the safest village in the country.

220
00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:34,953
But that doesn't mean
it requires anything less

221
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,497
than a careful and considered approach.

222
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,500
There's a reason we accommodate
a few of the younglings at the pub.

223
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:44,087
- The greater good?
- The greater good. Precisely.

224
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:48,466
Your predecessor assumed
that rural policing was easy.

225
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,302
Ended up having a nervous breakdown.

226
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:55,514
And Sergeant Popwell was
an exceptional officer, truly exceptional.

227
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,308
And he had one thing you haven't got.

228
00:16:58,391 --> 00:17:01,311
- What's that, sir?
- A great big bushy beard.

229
00:17:01,394 --> 00:17:03,479
Come on, let's have a mosey around.

230
00:17:05,773 --> 00:17:07,149
Locker room.

231
00:17:08,526 --> 00:17:10,027
Riot room.

232
00:17:12,237 --> 00:17:13,697
Evidence room.

233
00:17:16,616 --> 00:17:20,703
Now, how about a trip to the Andes?

234
00:17:20,787 --> 00:17:24,624
Detective Sergeant Wainwright
and Detective Constable Cartwright.

235
00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:27,627
Don't get up.

236
00:17:28,836 --> 00:17:31,505
I expect you're wondering
why we call them the Andes.

237
00:17:31,588 --> 00:17:35,259
- They're both called Andrew?
- They said you were good.

238
00:17:35,342 --> 00:17:38,011
Also, because talking to them is
an uphill struggle, isn't it, Dad?

239
00:17:38,428 --> 00:17:40,430
- Fuck off!
- Thank you, Danny.

240
00:17:46,519 --> 00:17:49,605
And this is where it all happens.

241
00:17:51,106 --> 00:17:53,275
That is Sergeant Tony Fisher.

242
00:17:53,358 --> 00:17:54,651
PC Bob Walker.

243
00:17:56,111 --> 00:17:57,446
And that is Saxon.

244
00:17:57,988 --> 00:18:02,200
And this is one Doris Thatcher.

245
00:18:02,283 --> 00:18:04,369
- She's our only policewoman.
- She's not a policewoman.

246
00:18:04,452 --> 00:18:06,662
- Yeah, she is. I've seen her bra.
- She's a police officer.

247
00:18:06,746 --> 00:18:08,205
Being a woman has nothing to do with it.

248
00:18:08,289 --> 00:18:10,374
Oh, I don't know.
Comes in handy every so often.

249
00:18:10,708 --> 00:18:14,211
I could've given you the tour.
I've been round the station a few times.

250
00:18:14,503 --> 00:18:16,004
And what's upstairs?

251
00:18:17,756 --> 00:18:20,341
Well, well, well, I see we have visitors.

252
00:18:20,425 --> 00:18:22,719
Nicholas, this is Tom Weaver.

253
00:18:23,094 --> 00:18:26,514
Civilian liaison
with the Neighborhood Watch Alliance.

254
00:18:26,597 --> 00:18:29,725
You'll find that we run
a very tight ship here.

255
00:18:31,185 --> 00:18:36,481
From this command center
I can see what the whole village is up to.

256
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,111
I must say I was rather admiring
your handiwork last night.

257
00:18:41,194 --> 00:18:43,780
It's a pity you didn't do the same
to those bloody hoodies.

258
00:18:43,863 --> 00:18:46,490
Hanging around. Loitering. Sitting.

259
00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:48,993
Actually, I did notice some minor graffiti
on the fountain.

260
00:18:49,076 --> 00:18:51,412
Graffiti? They've gotta be dealt with, Frank.

261
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:53,747
They're nippers, Tom. They'll come round.

262
00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:55,082
Which reminds me,

263
00:18:55,165 --> 00:18:58,501
our friend, The Living Statue,
was here on Saturday.

264
00:18:58,585 --> 00:19:03,631
11:00, 12:00, 1:00, 2:00.

265
00:19:03,715 --> 00:19:06,551
If we don't come down hard
on these clowns,

266
00:19:06,634 --> 00:19:10,888
- we are gonna be up to our balls in jugglers.
- We'll get right onto it, Tom.

267
00:19:13,182 --> 00:19:15,559
We like to let them think they run the place.

268
00:19:15,642 --> 00:19:17,394
Well, that's that.

269
00:19:17,477 --> 00:19:19,896
Unless there's anything
you're unclear about?

270
00:19:19,979 --> 00:19:23,191
Yes, sir.
Why is everybody eating chocolate cake?

271
00:19:23,274 --> 00:19:27,528
The Black Forest gateau is on Danny.
As punishment for his little indiscretion.

272
00:19:27,611 --> 00:19:28,696
His...

273
00:19:28,779 --> 00:19:32,116
Sir, I don't think driving under the influence
can be called a "little indiscretion."

274
00:19:32,199 --> 00:19:35,369
No, the gateau is for misplacing
his helmet the other week.

275
00:19:35,452 --> 00:19:39,414
Last night's incident will require
something rather more serious.

276
00:19:39,497 --> 00:19:41,791
- Good.
- Do you like ice-cream?

277
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,626
I'm sorry, sir, I don't follow.

278
00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:47,463
Let's just say that we won't be short
of Chunky Monkey for the next month.

279
00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:49,298
Dad.

280
00:19:49,381 --> 00:19:53,177
Now, since it's your first day
and it's 11:30, I'd say that's lunch.

281
00:19:59,474 --> 00:20:04,103
So, what made you choose Sandford then,
Sergeant Angel?

282
00:20:04,187 --> 00:20:05,813
It wasn't actually my choice.

283
00:20:05,897 --> 00:20:10,067
Oh, right, right, wasn't your choice to come
down here and tell me how to do my job.

284
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:11,360
Our jobs.

285
00:20:13,403 --> 00:20:14,488
Yeah.

286
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:18,366
Look, I can assure you it wasn't
my intention to upset the apple cart.

287
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:21,703
Yeah, 'cause we all sell apples round here,
don't we?

288
00:20:21,786 --> 00:20:24,622
- Your dad sells apples, Andy.
- And raspberries.

289
00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:27,291
I bet you can't wait to jump
into Sergeant Popwell's grave.

290
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:29,543
I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.

291
00:20:30,836 --> 00:20:34,173
- You got a mustache.
- I know.

292
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,009
- Why have you got your stab vest on?
- It's a requirement.

293
00:20:38,093 --> 00:20:42,388
In the city maybe.
Nobody's gonna stab you in here, Sergeant.

294
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,682
Not a member of the public anyhow.

295
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,520
- Have you been stabbed, Sergeant Fisher?
- No.

296
00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:51,021
Well, I have.

297
00:20:51,105 --> 00:20:53,690
And I can assure you
it is not in the least bit amusing.

298
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,903
Have you seen a lot of action,
Sergeant Angel?

299
00:20:57,986 --> 00:20:59,904
I've experienced my fair share, yes.

300
00:20:59,988 --> 00:21:02,490
- Did you cook any fools?
- Excuse me?

301
00:21:02,574 --> 00:21:03,825
Did you shoot anybody?

302
00:21:03,908 --> 00:21:07,244
He shot a crack head with a Kalashnikov.

303
00:21:07,787 --> 00:21:11,540
- Where did you get that?
- The offender had the Kalashnikov.

304
00:21:11,623 --> 00:21:12,708
Where'd he get that?

305
00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:16,003
You do know there are more guns
in the country than there are in the city?

306
00:21:16,086 --> 00:21:19,130
Everybody and their mums
is packing round here.

307
00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:21,925
- Like who?
- Farmers.

308
00:21:22,008 --> 00:21:24,510
- Who else?
- Farmers's mums.

309
00:21:28,806 --> 00:21:31,600
What's it like being stabbed?

310
00:21:32,226 --> 00:21:35,562
It was the single most painful
experience of my life.

311
00:21:35,646 --> 00:21:38,023
What was the second most painful?

312
00:21:44,487 --> 00:21:45,530
You ever fired two guns
whilst jumping through the air?

313
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:46,572
No.

314
00:21:46,614 --> 00:21:47,615
You ever fired one gun
whilst jumping through the air?

315
00:21:47,657 --> 00:21:48,657
No.

316
00:21:48,699 --> 00:21:49,700
- Ever been in a high speed pursuit?
- Yes, I have.

317
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:50,743
You ever fired a gun
whilst in a high speed pursuit?

318
00:21:50,784 --> 00:21:52,536
No.

319
00:21:53,036 --> 00:21:57,332
Annette,
that Sergeant Angel's coming into your shop.

320
00:21:57,415 --> 00:21:59,084
Get a look at his arse.

321
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:01,961
- What about Lethal Weapon?
- No.

322
00:22:02,045 --> 00:22:04,047
- You've seen Die Hard, though?
- No.

323
00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:05,756
- Bad Boys II?
- No.

324
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,550
You ain't seen Bad Boys II?

325
00:22:11,553 --> 00:22:13,430
- Hell of a day, huh?
- Yeah.

326
00:22:13,514 --> 00:22:15,098
- Same again tomorrow?
- Yeah.

327
00:22:20,895 --> 00:22:24,148
Amanda Paver,
headmistress of Sandford Primary.

328
00:22:24,232 --> 00:22:25,650
How do you do, Sergeant?

329
00:22:25,733 --> 00:22:30,571
- Simon Skinner, I believe you've met.
- Oh, we're already firm friends.

330
00:22:30,654 --> 00:22:32,656
Oh, please, please, come with me, will you?

331
00:22:32,740 --> 00:22:34,616
This is Leslie Tiller,

332
00:22:34,908 --> 00:22:39,037
whose horticultural expertise
has helped put Sandford on the map.

333
00:22:39,287 --> 00:22:41,623
- She's ever so good.
- Oh, go on.

334
00:22:41,706 --> 00:22:44,125
This is James Reaper,
who owns Brannigan Farm.

335
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:45,918
I hear you're quite the marksman.

336
00:22:46,002 --> 00:22:48,462
Perhaps you might like to join us
for a shoot one day.

337
00:22:48,546 --> 00:22:51,090
Well, I haven't held a firearm
for over two years, Mr. Reaper.

338
00:22:51,173 --> 00:22:52,800
I'd quite like to keep it that way.

339
00:22:52,883 --> 00:22:54,635
You will be popular with the local birds.

340
00:22:55,177 --> 00:22:56,428
Birds.

341
00:22:57,179 --> 00:22:59,723
Nicholas, hello. Reverend Shooter.

342
00:23:00,181 --> 00:23:03,476
I want to ask you,
would you read a homily at Sunday Service?

343
00:23:03,559 --> 00:23:05,645
That might be
a little hypocritical of me, Reverend.

344
00:23:05,728 --> 00:23:07,980
Oh, you're an atheist?

345
00:23:08,064 --> 00:23:09,523
No, I'm... I'm...

346
00:23:09,607 --> 00:23:12,651
I'm open to the concept of religion,
I'm just not entirely convinced by it.

347
00:23:12,735 --> 00:23:15,362
- You're an agnostic?
- I think I have a cream for that.

348
00:23:17,531 --> 00:23:20,658
Robin Hatcher, our resident sawbones.

349
00:23:20,742 --> 00:23:23,661
Hopefully we won't see too much
of each other over the coming months.

350
00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:26,497
Well, all that remains is to welcome you

351
00:23:26,581 --> 00:23:31,168
to the weekly meeting
of the Neighborhood Watch Alliance.

352
00:23:33,629 --> 00:23:36,590
Now, quick announcement before we begin.

353
00:23:36,965 --> 00:23:40,385
Janet Barker has just given birth to twins.

354
00:23:40,718 --> 00:23:42,762
So, congratulations to her.

355
00:23:42,845 --> 00:23:45,139
- Tom?
- Thanks, Joyce.

356
00:23:45,723 --> 00:23:46,807
Now.

357
00:23:47,558 --> 00:23:52,521
I am sure that all of you will have noticed
the return of a blight to our streets.

358
00:23:52,604 --> 00:23:56,942
It's made all the more disturbing as
the Village of the Year contest looms.

359
00:23:57,692 --> 00:24:02,822
I refer, of course,
to the extremely irritating Living Statue.

360
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,497
Police work
is as much about preventing crime

361
00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:13,415
as it is about fighting crime.

362
00:24:13,499 --> 00:24:17,002
Most importantly,
it is about procedural correctness

363
00:24:17,085 --> 00:24:20,505
in the execution
of unquestionable moral authority.

364
00:24:21,631 --> 00:24:23,007
Any questions?

365
00:24:25,343 --> 00:24:26,594
Yes.

366
00:24:26,677 --> 00:24:29,388
Is it true that there is a place
in a man's head

367
00:24:29,472 --> 00:24:31,598
that if you shoot it, it will blow up?

368
00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:36,978
Hi, hi, Tim Messenger.

369
00:24:37,062 --> 00:24:39,356
Can I get a quick shot
for the Sandford Citizen?

370
00:24:39,439 --> 00:24:40,607
Okay.

371
00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:42,817
How about you put the teacher
in handcuffs?

372
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:44,402
I don't think that gives off the right signals.

373
00:24:44,485 --> 00:24:46,362
Too cheesy-pie. Okay. Gotcha.

374
00:24:46,779 --> 00:24:48,864
- Give the little blonde kid your hat.
- I'd rather not.

375
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,241
- Wave your hitting stick about.
- No.

376
00:24:51,325 --> 00:24:52,576
Righty-ho-ho.

377
00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,083
Oh, can I have your autograph, please?

378
00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:05,129
- For the breakfast.
- Oh, sorry.

379
00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:12,261
Hey, that weren't me.

380
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,098
- Morning, Angle.
- Good morning, Angle.

381
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:18,433
- Morning, Angle.
- Morning, Angle.

382
00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:21,019
- Sergeant Angel.
- Morning. The swan's escaped.

383
00:25:21,102 --> 00:25:22,562
- The swan's escaped?
- Yeah.

384
00:25:22,645 --> 00:25:24,856
Right. And where has the swan
escaped from exactly?

385
00:25:24,939 --> 00:25:26,857
- The castle.
- Oh, yeah? And who might you be?

386
00:25:26,941 --> 00:25:30,277
Mr. Staker. Yeah, Mr. Peter Ian Staker.

387
00:25:30,361 --> 00:25:33,447
P.I. Staker. Right. Piss taker. Come on!

388
00:25:33,614 --> 00:25:37,450
Yes, Mr. Staker. We'll do everything we can.
Can you describe it to me?

389
00:25:37,534 --> 00:25:39,411
It's about two foot tall.

390
00:25:39,494 --> 00:25:41,955
- Long slender neck.
- Yeah.

391
00:25:42,038 --> 00:25:44,916
- Kind of orange and black bill.
- Anything else?

392
00:25:45,958 --> 00:25:47,418
Well, it's a swan.

393
00:25:55,384 --> 00:25:56,718
That's just gonna scare it.

394
00:26:02,098 --> 00:26:06,894
- No luck catching them swans then?
- It's just the one swan, actually.

395
00:26:09,647 --> 00:26:13,275
- Want anything from the shop?
- You've just been to the shop.

396
00:26:13,859 --> 00:26:15,402
I was thinking of a different shop.

397
00:26:15,485 --> 00:26:18,071
Constable Butterman,
this is not the time for personal errands.

398
00:26:18,154 --> 00:26:21,783
- Well, there's nothing going on, is there?
- There is always something going on.

399
00:26:21,866 --> 00:26:25,786
You have to look closer, all right?
What about this guy?

400
00:26:26,537 --> 00:26:27,830
- Mr. Treacher?
- Yeah.

401
00:26:27,913 --> 00:26:29,999
Why has he got that big coat on?

402
00:26:30,082 --> 00:26:33,919
He can't be cold. Why the extra layer?
Maybe he's trying to hide something.

403
00:26:34,503 --> 00:26:35,962
Mr. Treacher?

404
00:26:36,922 --> 00:26:38,256
Okay. What about this guy?

405
00:26:38,340 --> 00:26:40,800
Ask yourself, why has he got his hat
pulled down like that?

406
00:26:40,884 --> 00:26:44,178
- He's fuck ugly.
- Or he doesn't want you to see his face.

407
00:26:44,262 --> 00:26:46,305
Because he's fuck ugly.

408
00:26:46,722 --> 00:26:48,474
Okay, what's his story?

409
00:26:48,557 --> 00:26:50,017
- Oh, that's Lurch.
- Go on.

410
00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:52,394
- He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket.
- Good.

411
00:26:52,478 --> 00:26:54,313
Real name, Michael Armstrong.

412
00:26:54,396 --> 00:26:56,606
- Dad says he's got a child's mind.
- Okay.

413
00:26:56,690 --> 00:26:58,817
And lives up Summer Street
with his mum and his sister.

414
00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:00,151
And are they as big as he is?

415
00:27:00,235 --> 00:27:02,862
- Who?
- The mum and the sister.

416
00:27:02,946 --> 00:27:04,447
Same person.

417
00:27:05,823 --> 00:27:07,199
What shop were you thinking of?

418
00:27:29,178 --> 00:27:32,681
Sergeant Angel to the Manager's office.

419
00:27:32,765 --> 00:27:35,851
Manager's office. Sergeant Angel.

420
00:27:38,562 --> 00:27:42,732
Sergeant Angel. Or is it Angle?

421
00:27:44,442 --> 00:27:47,486
Mr. Skinner, a baby's sicked up in aisle six.

422
00:27:48,362 --> 00:27:50,948
Please excuse me. Michael!

423
00:27:51,031 --> 00:27:52,199
Yarp.

424
00:27:52,282 --> 00:27:55,744
- Child vomit. Aisle six. Mop it up.
- Yarp.

425
00:27:55,827 --> 00:27:59,039
- Mr. Skinner, is there a problem?
- No, no, no, no.

426
00:27:59,122 --> 00:28:03,376
I simply wanted to say how lovely it is
to see you supporting your local store.

427
00:28:03,459 --> 00:28:04,710
Well, that's quite all right.

428
00:28:04,794 --> 00:28:09,048
All too many have defected
to the big Megamart in Buford Abbey.

429
00:28:09,131 --> 00:28:13,594
May their heads be struck
from their shoulders for such disloyalty.

430
00:28:13,677 --> 00:28:16,721
Yes, well, I am on duty,
so if you'll excuse me.

431
00:28:16,805 --> 00:28:20,308
Of course. I simply spied you loitering
in organic produce

432
00:28:20,392 --> 00:28:23,019
and assumed you had time on your hands.

433
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,899
Well, maybe I'm not the one
you should be keeping an eye on.

434
00:28:29,358 --> 00:28:32,236
That's the Fridge Magnate.
His name's George Merchant.

435
00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:36,573
Made a fortune in kitchen goods.
Built that monstrosity on Norris Avenue.

436
00:28:37,365 --> 00:28:39,784
Actually, I wasn't talking about him.

437
00:28:40,493 --> 00:28:43,246
I was talking about him.

438
00:28:44,330 --> 00:28:45,790
Excuse me.

439
00:28:51,545 --> 00:28:52,588
Excuse me.

440
00:29:02,513 --> 00:29:05,600
"Meet the cop that can't be stopped."

441
00:29:22,615 --> 00:29:23,908
Tosser!

442
00:29:25,952 --> 00:29:27,495
Trouble in the high street.

443
00:29:27,578 --> 00:29:29,246
Sergeant Angel's having a spot of bother.

444
00:29:29,330 --> 00:29:30,539
Roger that.

445
00:29:40,924 --> 00:29:42,217
Morning, Sergeant.

446
00:29:49,557 --> 00:29:50,808
You mothers.

447
00:29:54,645 --> 00:29:59,316
- Let's cut through here. Head him off.
- Through the gardens?

448
00:29:59,399 --> 00:30:02,026
What's the matter, Danny?
You never taken a shortcut before.

449
00:30:46,275 --> 00:30:48,027
Hey, give me that!

450
00:30:54,533 --> 00:30:56,535
"You do not have to say anything,
however it may harm your defense

451
00:30:56,618 --> 00:30:59,329
"if you fail to mention when questioned
something you later rely on in court.

452
00:30:59,412 --> 00:31:01,498
"Anything you do say
can be given in evidence."

453
00:31:01,581 --> 00:31:03,249
- Hi, Danny.
- All right, Pete?

454
00:31:03,333 --> 00:31:04,459
Do you know this man?

455
00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:06,252
Yeah, he's Auntie Jackie's
sister's brother's boy.

456
00:31:06,335 --> 00:31:08,212
And it didn't occur to you
to mention this before?

457
00:31:08,295 --> 00:31:11,131
Couldn't see his face, could I?
I'm not made of eyes.

458
00:31:21,724 --> 00:31:23,559
Impressive collar.

459
00:31:23,643 --> 00:31:26,187
Shame Mr. Skinner
doesn't want to press charges.

460
00:31:26,270 --> 00:31:27,730
What do you mean,
he doesn't wanna press charges?

461
00:31:27,813 --> 00:31:31,650
I'm simply suggesting that, you know,
Peter be given a second chance

462
00:31:31,734 --> 00:31:34,695
before he becomes
just another crime statistic.

463
00:31:34,778 --> 00:31:37,614
I'm sure he's going to learn
a valuable lesson.

464
00:31:37,697 --> 00:31:41,409
- Stealing biscuits is wrong?
- Correct.

465
00:31:41,493 --> 00:31:42,577
Thanks.

466
00:31:42,660 --> 00:31:45,538
And yet we respond by not taking
a single punitive measure?

467
00:31:45,621 --> 00:31:48,582
Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

468
00:31:48,666 --> 00:31:50,584
Like the biscuits, isn't it?

469
00:31:50,668 --> 00:31:53,545
- Mr. Skinner...
- Is everything all right?

470
00:31:53,670 --> 00:31:58,675
Well, sir, Mr. Skinner feels it would
be better not to prosecute an individual

471
00:31:58,758 --> 00:32:00,844
that has committed a blatant offense.

472
00:32:00,927 --> 00:32:02,387
Leave this with me.

473
00:32:02,470 --> 00:32:05,640
I'll make sure everyone gets
their just deserts.

474
00:32:05,723 --> 00:32:07,600
Oh, no!

475
00:32:10,436 --> 00:32:11,937
Twenty-seven.

476
00:32:12,021 --> 00:32:15,565
- Have you ever seen Point Break?
- No.

477
00:32:15,649 --> 00:32:17,984
Amazing bit in Point Break
where they jump over fences.

478
00:32:18,068 --> 00:32:19,986
Is there now? Twenty-nine.

479
00:32:20,070 --> 00:32:23,031
Patrick Swayze's just robbed this bank
and Keanu Reeves is chasing him

480
00:32:23,114 --> 00:32:26,033
through people's gardens,
and he goes to shoot Swayze but he can't,

481
00:32:26,117 --> 00:32:27,285
'cause he loves him so much,

482
00:32:27,368 --> 00:32:29,537
and he's firing his gun up in the air,
he's like...

483
00:32:29,620 --> 00:32:31,038
Forty.

484
00:32:31,121 --> 00:32:32,915
Have you ever fired your gun up
in the air and gone...

485
00:32:32,998 --> 00:32:36,334
No, I have not ever fired my gun
up in the air and gone...

486
00:32:36,418 --> 00:32:37,878
Thirty.

487
00:32:37,961 --> 00:32:41,673
Sorry, I... I just...
I just feel like I'm missing out sometimes.

488
00:32:41,756 --> 00:32:44,759
- I wanna do what you do.
- You do, do what I do.

489
00:32:44,842 --> 00:32:46,636
What on earth
do you think you're missing out on?

490
00:32:46,719 --> 00:32:50,180
Gun fights. Car chases.
Proper action and shit.

491
00:32:50,264 --> 00:32:53,684
Police work is not about
proper action or shit.

492
00:32:54,476 --> 00:32:55,894
Twenty-nine.

493
00:32:55,977 --> 00:32:57,312
If you had paid attention to me in school,

494
00:32:57,395 --> 00:33:00,565
you'd understand that it's not all about
gun fights and car chases.

495
00:33:02,025 --> 00:33:03,318
Fire up the roof.

496
00:33:07,947 --> 00:33:09,657
That was brilliant.

497
00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:14,870
Was I going a tad fast, Officer?

498
00:33:15,370 --> 00:33:17,455
Yes, you were, Mr. Blower.

499
00:33:17,539 --> 00:33:20,792
Well, now, you see,
we are staging a homage

500
00:33:20,875 --> 00:33:24,962
to William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
and I'm a little late for the dress rehearsal.

501
00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:28,090
I'm playing the eponymous hero, you see.

502
00:33:28,299 --> 00:33:29,967
Romeo not Juliet.

503
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:35,055
- What are you writing?
- Everything you're saying.

504
00:33:35,138 --> 00:33:36,556
I might need to refer to it later.

505
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,727
Now, Officer, I am a respected solicitor
so there's no need to...

506
00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:42,353
Just stop writing, will you?

507
00:33:42,437 --> 00:33:47,650
Look, I'm merely trying to explain
why I might have exceeded the speed limit.

508
00:33:47,733 --> 00:33:50,527
You're playing the male lead
in a homage to William Shakespeare's

509
00:33:50,611 --> 00:33:53,530
Romeo and Juliet
and you're late for the dress rehearsal.

510
00:33:53,614 --> 00:33:56,491
You think this is sufficient reason
to travel at 48 in a 30 zone?

511
00:33:56,575 --> 00:33:58,410
- Well, I...
- To flout speed limits

512
00:33:58,493 --> 00:34:02,538
- specifically put in place to save lives.
- Just, look, this is preposterous.

513
00:34:02,622 --> 00:34:06,417
- "Preposterous."
- Look, just stop writing!

514
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,669
"Stop writing."

515
00:34:10,379 --> 00:34:14,424
Look, you're right, I apologize.

516
00:34:15,842 --> 00:34:18,178
- See what I did there?
- You hypnotized him.

517
00:34:18,261 --> 00:34:19,679
No, I used this.

518
00:34:19,763 --> 00:34:22,265
This is the most important piece
of equipment you will ever own.

519
00:34:22,348 --> 00:34:25,226
This notebook has saved my skin
more times than I care to mention.

520
00:34:25,309 --> 00:34:26,852
You should think
about using yours more often.

521
00:34:26,936 --> 00:34:28,938
- I do use mine.
- Show me.

522
00:34:34,359 --> 00:34:37,487
- That's just extraordinary.
- You should see the one on the other side.

523
00:34:43,534 --> 00:34:46,537
- What are you up to tonight?
- I have to water my Peace Lily.

524
00:34:46,621 --> 00:34:48,164
Thought you might wanna do something.

525
00:34:48,247 --> 00:34:51,375
- What exactly were you thinking?
- Don't know. Pub?

526
00:34:51,542 --> 00:34:54,711
I don't think that's a good idea. Do you?

527
00:34:57,714 --> 00:34:59,215
You two.

528
00:34:59,382 --> 00:35:03,761
A Mr. Blower left you tickets
for Romeo and Juliet tonight.

529
00:35:03,845 --> 00:35:05,221
Said it was by way of an apology.

530
00:35:05,304 --> 00:35:06,847
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

531
00:35:07,264 --> 00:35:11,310
Well, we can't accept gifts from somebody
we've officially rebuked. So...

532
00:35:11,769 --> 00:35:12,978
Yeah.

533
00:35:14,313 --> 00:35:15,897
Nicholas. Glad I caught you.

534
00:35:15,981 --> 00:35:19,734
Wondered if you wouldn't mind
representing us at the am drams tonight.

535
00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:22,737
- Yes, sir, of course.
- And there's a spare for Danny, too.

536
00:35:22,820 --> 00:35:26,240
Yeah! Hey, come on, it might be fun.

537
00:35:32,830 --> 00:35:33,872
A dateless bargain to engrossing death.

538
00:35:33,914 --> 00:35:36,625
Here's to my love.

539
00:35:43,506 --> 00:35:44,674
Now.

540
00:35:49,470 --> 00:35:53,015
Poison? I'll kiss thy lips.

541
00:35:53,932 --> 00:35:57,018
Happily some poison
doth yet hang on them.

542
00:36:04,692 --> 00:36:05,860
Bang!

543
00:36:24,710 --> 00:36:27,963
Sergeant Angel, hi-hi.
Quick word for the Sandford Citizen.

544
00:36:28,631 --> 00:36:29,924
It was very enjoyable.

545
00:36:30,007 --> 00:36:32,259
- "Cop Enjoys Watching Young Lovers"?
- I don't think so.

546
00:36:32,342 --> 00:36:33,969
"Local Bobby Gives Thumbs Up
To Teen Suicide"?

547
00:36:34,052 --> 00:36:35,637
That's just grossly inappropriate.

548
00:36:36,304 --> 00:36:39,724
You will try and spell his name
correctly this time, won't you, Timothy?

549
00:36:39,808 --> 00:36:42,268
Absolute tosh, wasn't it?

550
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:46,647
And annoyingly, the understudies
are actually professional actors.

551
00:36:46,814 --> 00:36:49,275
Greg over there was an extra in Straw Dogs

552
00:36:49,358 --> 00:36:51,235
and Sheree portrayed a cadaver
in Prime Suspect.

553
00:36:51,318 --> 00:36:53,487
Sergeant Angel, you came?

554
00:36:53,570 --> 00:36:56,948
So thrilled you accepted my invitation.

555
00:36:57,032 --> 00:36:59,993
Well, our Inspector
requested we attend. So...

556
00:37:00,076 --> 00:37:04,872
Yeah, we can't accept gifts from
someone we've officially rebuked so...

557
00:37:04,956 --> 00:37:06,290
Jog on.

558
00:37:06,958 --> 00:37:10,169
Congratulations to you and to Mrs. Blower.

559
00:37:12,421 --> 00:37:17,217
Oh, this is not my wife.
This is Miss Draper. My leading lady.

560
00:37:17,509 --> 00:37:22,013
Eve works in the local council, Sergeant.
Quite the lady in the know.

561
00:37:22,096 --> 00:37:25,057
- I am not.
- Nonsense.

562
00:37:25,141 --> 00:37:30,854
I'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts
of secrets would come tumbling out.

563
00:37:33,023 --> 00:37:37,319
Romeo, Romeo, a pint of bitter for Romeo?

564
00:37:37,402 --> 00:37:39,279
Thank you very much for coming, George.
Excuse us.

565
00:37:39,362 --> 00:37:41,489
A pleasure, my liege.

566
00:37:41,573 --> 00:37:44,992
- Eve's nice, ain't she?
- She certainly has a distinctive laugh.

567
00:37:45,076 --> 00:37:48,496
She was in my year at school.
Always had a thing for her.

568
00:37:49,288 --> 00:37:51,248
She clearly has a thing for older men.

569
00:37:52,374 --> 00:37:54,668
What, with Martin Blower? No way!

570
00:37:55,168 --> 00:37:57,837
We just sat through three hours
of so-called acting, Constable,

571
00:37:57,921 --> 00:38:00,673
their kiss was
the only convincing moment in it.

572
00:38:00,757 --> 00:38:02,425
Hey, now you come to mention it,

573
00:38:02,508 --> 00:38:05,136
I too have reason to believe
she favors the older gent.

574
00:38:05,219 --> 00:38:06,345
Really? How so?

575
00:38:06,429 --> 00:38:09,515
Marcus Carter's big brother said
he'd fingered her up the duck pond.

576
00:38:13,018 --> 00:38:14,686
Oh, Officers.

577
00:38:14,770 --> 00:38:18,398
Again let me extend
my sincere apologies for earlier.

578
00:38:18,481 --> 00:38:21,860
That's quite all right, Mr. Blower. Drive safe.

579
00:38:27,073 --> 00:38:30,242
"Drive safe." Oh, my God.

580
00:38:30,326 --> 00:38:32,703
You know that's the bloke
we done for speeding earlier.

581
00:38:32,786 --> 00:38:35,706
Yeah. Hopefully,
that's the last we'll see of him.

582
00:38:48,050 --> 00:38:49,385
Who is it?

583
00:38:53,972 --> 00:38:55,098
We haven't got long.

584
00:38:57,058 --> 00:38:58,268
To us.

585
00:39:00,478 --> 00:39:01,729
Who is it?

586
00:39:13,615 --> 00:39:14,950
Yeah?

587
00:39:17,827 --> 00:39:19,663
- ...decaffeinated?
- Decaffeinated?

588
00:39:24,250 --> 00:39:27,336
Little Brian Libby found them,
out on his paper round.

589
00:39:28,129 --> 00:39:30,965
Oh, he'll be having nightmares for a while.

590
00:39:31,423 --> 00:39:35,344
Must have hit the sign at some speed.
Took the whole top off.

591
00:39:35,427 --> 00:39:38,471
- I've had my top off in this lay-by.
- Tits.

592
00:39:38,555 --> 00:39:45,102
Most likely lost control,
left the road there and then ended up here.

593
00:39:46,771 --> 00:39:51,108
So, what do we reckon?

594
00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:53,360
Sergeant Angel?

595
00:39:53,944 --> 00:39:56,780
Well, we should get a proper cordon off,
screen the remains from public view.

596
00:39:56,863 --> 00:39:58,573
Close down the road
until the ambulance crew arrives,

597
00:39:58,657 --> 00:40:01,993
whereupon we should open
a single lane of traffic and ease congestion.

598
00:40:02,535 --> 00:40:03,870
Very good.

599
00:40:04,537 --> 00:40:05,621
What he said.

600
00:40:11,001 --> 00:40:13,128
- What happened, Danny?
- Car accident.

601
00:40:13,212 --> 00:40:14,963
Nasty way to go.

602
00:40:15,797 --> 00:40:17,799
Constable, official vocab guidelines state

603
00:40:17,883 --> 00:40:20,969
we no longer refer to these incidents
as "accidents," they're now "collisions."

604
00:40:21,052 --> 00:40:22,136
Right.

605
00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:28,350
"For never was there a story of more woe.
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

606
00:40:28,642 --> 00:40:32,312
- Excuse me?
- Martin and Eve. Such a tragedy.

607
00:40:32,396 --> 00:40:33,981
Mr. Skinner, do you mind telling me

608
00:40:34,064 --> 00:40:36,274
how you know the identity
of the persons involved?

609
00:40:36,358 --> 00:40:39,819
You know how it is. News travels fast.

610
00:40:40,028 --> 00:40:44,157
A love struck Romeo
sings a streetsus serenade

611
00:40:44,782 --> 00:40:47,159
- What happened, Danny?
- Traffic collision.

612
00:40:48,411 --> 00:40:50,329
Hey, why can't we say "accident" again?

613
00:40:50,412 --> 00:40:52,873
Because "accident" implies
there's nobody to blame.

614
00:40:54,374 --> 00:40:55,792
Put a sock in it, town mouse.

615
00:40:55,876 --> 00:40:59,629
Yeah, you wanna be a big cop in
a small town, fuck off up the model village.

616
00:40:59,713 --> 00:41:02,131
I'm just saying,
things aren't always as simple as they look.

617
00:41:02,215 --> 00:41:04,050
Most times they are.

618
00:41:04,133 --> 00:41:06,886
Let's just wait till Doctor Hatcher
comes back with something,

619
00:41:06,969 --> 00:41:09,555
before you go jumping the Kalashnikov.

620
00:41:09,638 --> 00:41:12,766
All right, in the meantime, why don't you
check out a few of Martin Blower's clients?

621
00:41:12,850 --> 00:41:15,727
Martin Blower represents
damn near most of the village.

622
00:41:15,811 --> 00:41:17,354
Did you want us to go through
the whole phone book?

623
00:41:17,437 --> 00:41:20,231
Yeah, or put a call into Aaron A. Aaronson,
shall we?

624
00:41:20,315 --> 00:41:21,649
Please, don't be childish.

625
00:41:21,733 --> 00:41:23,026
At least consider interviewing the widow.

626
00:41:23,109 --> 00:41:25,194
Martin Blower was clearly having
an affair with Eve Draper.

627
00:41:25,278 --> 00:41:28,697
Oh, and how did you establish that?

628
00:41:28,781 --> 00:41:31,533
'Cause we sat through three hours
of so-called acting last night,

629
00:41:31,617 --> 00:41:34,036
and the kiss was
the only convincing moment in it.

630
00:41:34,119 --> 00:41:36,204
All right, pipe down, big one.

631
00:41:36,288 --> 00:41:38,832
Here, what else you got,
Crockett and Tubby?

632
00:41:38,915 --> 00:41:41,334
- Skid marks.
- Now who's being childish?

633
00:41:41,417 --> 00:41:43,252
There were no skid marks at the scene.

634
00:41:43,336 --> 00:41:46,297
Doesn't it seem a little strange that
Martin Blower would lose control of his car

635
00:41:46,380 --> 00:41:48,299
and not think to apply the brakes?

636
00:41:48,924 --> 00:41:50,217
If there were no skid marks it follows

637
00:41:50,301 --> 00:41:54,221
that for 300 yards both driver and passenger
did nothing to prevent their fate.

638
00:41:54,304 --> 00:41:56,306
You don't have to be a detective
to work that out!

639
00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:57,557
Yeah.

640
00:41:57,641 --> 00:42:00,727
- Are you causing trouble?
- Yes, they are.

641
00:42:00,810 --> 00:42:04,021
Well, a spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.

642
00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:07,608
Old Arthur Webley's been clipping
hedgerows that don't belong to him.

643
00:42:07,692 --> 00:42:09,401
- Yes, sir?
- That's it.

644
00:42:10,402 --> 00:42:11,528
Yes, sir.

645
00:42:17,492 --> 00:42:20,829
- Why do we need the dog?
- It's not the dog we need.

646
00:42:28,586 --> 00:42:29,670
Right.

647
00:42:29,753 --> 00:42:30,879
What did he say?

648
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:38,428
- What did he say?
- He said, "An 'edge is an 'edge.

649
00:42:38,511 --> 00:42:40,096
"He only chopped it down
'cause it spoilt his view.

650
00:42:40,180 --> 00:42:41,598
"What's Reaper moaning about?"

651
00:42:41,681 --> 00:42:42,765
Right.

652
00:42:42,849 --> 00:42:44,183
Look, I appreciate your position,
Mr. Webley,

653
00:42:44,267 --> 00:42:47,436
but you can't go around chopping down
other people's hedges without permission.

654
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:50,814
"Yes, I suppose."

655
00:42:50,898 --> 00:42:52,024
Thank you.

656
00:42:52,775 --> 00:42:54,276
All right.

657
00:42:55,944 --> 00:42:58,780
Mr. Webley,
I trust you have a license for that firearm?

658
00:43:01,157 --> 00:43:02,742
He does for this one.

659
00:43:04,494 --> 00:43:05,953
What do you mean by "this one"?

660
00:43:19,549 --> 00:43:22,218
By the power of Grey Skull.

661
00:43:22,302 --> 00:43:24,262
Where on earth did you get these?

662
00:43:24,345 --> 00:43:26,264
- Found them.
- He found them!

663
00:43:26,347 --> 00:43:29,934
- And what is this?
- Sea mine.

664
00:43:30,017 --> 00:43:31,560
Sea mine.

665
00:43:31,810 --> 00:43:34,354
Well, Mr. Webley,
this is an extremely dangerous collection.

666
00:43:34,438 --> 00:43:35,939
It's a wonder nobody's been hurt before.

667
00:43:36,022 --> 00:43:38,024
No, it's just a lot of junk.

668
00:43:50,202 --> 00:43:52,287
Move, move, move!

669
00:44:13,265 --> 00:44:16,143
- You what?
- No, apparently it's been deactivated. Over.

670
00:44:16,226 --> 00:44:18,311
That's right, deactivated!

671
00:44:18,395 --> 00:44:20,313
- It's not live.
- It looks live.

672
00:44:20,397 --> 00:44:21,481
All right.

673
00:44:44,502 --> 00:44:46,837
That was quite an impressive haul today,
Constable Butterman.

674
00:44:46,921 --> 00:44:50,341
Well, you know, I mean, maybe
we should do something to celebrate.

675
00:44:50,424 --> 00:44:51,842
Unless you gotta water your Peace Lily.

676
00:44:51,925 --> 00:44:55,345
- What exactly did you have in mind?
- I don't know. Pub?

677
00:45:01,017 --> 00:45:02,644
Right you are, my love.

678
00:45:02,727 --> 00:45:04,812
Yes, sirs, what can I get you?

679
00:45:04,896 --> 00:45:06,480
Pint of lager, please, Roy.

680
00:45:06,564 --> 00:45:08,190
And what can I get you
that isn't a cranberry juice?

681
00:45:08,274 --> 00:45:10,901
- I don't really wanna get drunk.
- You can get a little drunk.

682
00:45:10,985 --> 00:45:13,695
- Okay, I'll have one.
- Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

683
00:45:14,029 --> 00:45:16,031
Mr. Porter, what's your wine selection?

684
00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:20,743
Oh, we got red or white.

685
00:45:21,953 --> 00:45:25,122
- I'll have a pint of lager, please.
- Yeah, Roy.

686
00:45:30,169 --> 00:45:34,464
- Any news from earlier?
- Yeah. CSI found nothing.

687
00:45:34,548 --> 00:45:39,052
Doctor Hatcher reported no misadventure
and Mrs. Blower has four alibis.

688
00:45:39,135 --> 00:45:45,099
Now, come on, Sergeant, it's not your job
to investigate this incident, is it?

689
00:45:45,892 --> 00:45:47,059
Is it?

690
00:45:47,143 --> 00:45:49,603
- No, it isn't.
- No, it isn't.

691
00:45:52,147 --> 00:45:55,400
- You don't switch off, do you?
- You sound like my ex.

692
00:45:56,026 --> 00:45:59,571
- Well, you are always thinking away.
- It's what I do.

693
00:45:59,654 --> 00:46:03,074
- Don't get me wrong. I think it's amazing.
- Really?

694
00:46:03,157 --> 00:46:05,785
I mean,
what made you wanna be a policeman?

695
00:46:05,868 --> 00:46:06,953
Officer.

696
00:46:07,036 --> 00:46:09,622
What made you wanna be
a policeman-officer?

697
00:46:12,166 --> 00:46:15,585
I don't remember a time
when I didn't wanna be a police officer.

698
00:46:15,669 --> 00:46:19,422
Apart from the summer of 1979
when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog.

699
00:46:20,423 --> 00:46:24,427
It all started with my Uncle Derek.
He was a Sergeant in the Met.

700
00:46:24,510 --> 00:46:27,430
He bought me a police pedal car
when I was five.

701
00:46:27,513 --> 00:46:29,640
I rode round in it every second I was awake.

702
00:46:29,723 --> 00:46:33,101
Arresting kids twice my size
for littering and spitting.

703
00:46:33,185 --> 00:46:36,271
I got beaten up a lot when I was young
but it didn't stop me.

704
00:46:36,354 --> 00:46:38,273
I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.

705
00:46:38,356 --> 00:46:39,441
He sounds like a good bloke.

706
00:46:39,524 --> 00:46:41,860
Actually, he was arrested
for selling drugs to students.

707
00:46:41,943 --> 00:46:43,069
What a cunt.

708
00:46:43,152 --> 00:46:45,571
Probably bought the pedal car
with the proceeds.

709
00:46:45,655 --> 00:46:48,949
Needless to say I never went near it again.
I just let it rust.

710
00:46:49,033 --> 00:46:51,076
But I never forgot
the clear sense of right and wrong

711
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,162
that I felt at the wheel of that pedal car.

712
00:46:53,245 --> 00:46:55,872
I had to prove to myself
that the law could be proper

713
00:46:55,956 --> 00:46:58,333
and righteous
and for the good of humankind.

714
00:46:58,416 --> 00:47:02,045
It was from that moment,
I was destined to be a police officer.

715
00:47:02,670 --> 00:47:04,672
- Shame.
- How so?

716
00:47:04,755 --> 00:47:07,299
I think you would've made a great muppet.

717
00:47:10,928 --> 00:47:13,805
What about you? What made you
wanna become a police officer?

718
00:47:14,181 --> 00:47:17,309
I don't know. Dad does it.

719
00:47:17,392 --> 00:47:21,563
I think after my mum died, it's what
he wanted, you know, keep me close by.

720
00:47:21,646 --> 00:47:25,650
- Do you mind if I ask how she died?
- Traffic collision.

721
00:47:26,442 --> 00:47:27,818
I'm sorry.

722
00:47:28,986 --> 00:47:31,196
Never mind. Hey, watch this.

723
00:47:32,531 --> 00:47:34,950
- Jesus Christ!
- Oh, my eye!

724
00:47:36,618 --> 00:47:37,786
Ta-da!

725
00:47:37,869 --> 00:47:39,704
Hey, come on, silly bollocks, get them in.

726
00:47:52,049 --> 00:47:54,843
- 777.
- Mr. Skinner.

727
00:47:54,926 --> 00:47:57,512
- You know George Merchant, don't you?
- Evening, Officer.

728
00:47:57,596 --> 00:48:00,515
Yes, we were just discussing the accident.

729
00:48:00,598 --> 00:48:04,018
I'd come to know Martin
and Eve very well of late.

730
00:48:04,102 --> 00:48:05,645
Such a loss.

731
00:48:05,728 --> 00:48:08,189
What say we drink to their demise?

732
00:48:08,272 --> 00:48:09,815
Shouldn't that be "drink to their memories"?

733
00:48:09,899 --> 00:48:12,151
Of course. Cheers.

734
00:48:12,234 --> 00:48:14,069
I must go to the little boys' room.

735
00:48:15,445 --> 00:48:18,198
- I'm all right!
- "Little" being the operative word.

736
00:48:18,782 --> 00:48:21,367
Oh, he'll be in bits tomorrow.

737
00:48:30,167 --> 00:48:32,836
I think somebody needs to go home.

738
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,715
- I'm... I'm not that drunk, sir.
- Not you. Him.

739
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:40,135
What?

740
00:48:41,386 --> 00:48:45,264
Hey, we did get a little drunk.
Did you get it?

741
00:48:45,348 --> 00:48:48,059
'Cause he's... He's little and he's drunk.

742
00:48:49,894 --> 00:48:51,812
Oh, good grief.

743
00:48:52,146 --> 00:48:55,107
It's hardly in keeping
with the village's rustic esthetic, is it?

744
00:48:56,983 --> 00:48:59,486
- How much do I owe you?
- Twenty quid.

745
00:48:59,569 --> 00:49:01,571
There you go.

746
00:49:02,071 --> 00:49:04,282
- And there's your change.
- God bless you.

747
00:49:04,949 --> 00:49:06,200
Bye-bye.

748
00:49:09,245 --> 00:49:10,829
I'm all right.

749
00:49:14,082 --> 00:49:15,917
I would not wanna be him in the morning.

750
00:49:26,802 --> 00:49:29,889
Well, this is me.

751
00:49:30,472 --> 00:49:34,226
Well, I shall see you in the morning.

752
00:49:34,309 --> 00:49:37,187
Unless you wanna come in
for a cup of coffee?

753
00:49:37,270 --> 00:49:39,939
- I don't drink coffee.
- Tea?

754
00:49:40,023 --> 00:49:42,066
No caffeine after midday.

755
00:49:42,817 --> 00:49:44,694
How about another beer?

756
00:49:52,409 --> 00:49:53,577
Oh, dear.

757
00:49:59,916 --> 00:50:03,252
- When did you move in?
- About five years ago.

758
00:50:04,462 --> 00:50:07,173
- You should get some house plants.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

759
00:50:07,256 --> 00:50:10,092
Yeah. I've been tending my Peace Lily
for about three years now.

760
00:50:11,677 --> 00:50:15,222
It oxygenates the room,
helps you think, relieves stress.

761
00:50:15,305 --> 00:50:17,140
Its needs are simple.

762
00:50:21,436 --> 00:50:24,605
Janine used to say I love my Lily
more than I loved her.

763
00:50:24,689 --> 00:50:26,941
- Is that why you split up?
- What?

764
00:50:27,858 --> 00:50:31,278
- 'Cause you did it with a plant?
- No, no, no.

765
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:34,906
It was more about me being
obsessed with the job.

766
00:50:35,198 --> 00:50:37,534
That's good though, right?

767
00:50:38,034 --> 00:50:39,494
Is it though?

768
00:50:39,577 --> 00:50:44,874
I did miss a few dinners.
You know, parties, a birthday or two.

769
00:50:44,957 --> 00:50:48,002
- Listen, mate, I...
- Her dad's funeral.

770
00:50:49,128 --> 00:50:53,549
- I just wanna be good at what I do.
- You are good at what you do.

771
00:50:55,133 --> 00:50:59,471
You've just gotta learn to switch off
that big old melon of yours.

772
00:51:01,514 --> 00:51:03,599
That's the whole problem, Danny.

773
00:51:06,978 --> 00:51:08,979
I don't think I know how.

774
00:51:09,897 --> 00:51:11,899
I can show you how.

775
00:51:17,904 --> 00:51:20,573
By the power of Grey Skull.

776
00:51:21,324 --> 00:51:23,743
Point Break or Bad Boys II?

777
00:51:23,826 --> 00:51:25,161
Which one do you think I'll prefer?

778
00:51:25,244 --> 00:51:27,371
No, I mean which one
do you wanna watch first?

779
00:51:27,455 --> 00:51:28,664
You are pulling my leg?

780
00:52:09,702 --> 00:52:11,704
What did you think of that?

781
00:52:11,787 --> 00:52:14,581
Well, I won't argue
that it was a no holds barred,

782
00:52:14,665 --> 00:52:17,709
adrenalin fueled thrill ride
but there's no way you could perpetrate

783
00:52:17,792 --> 00:52:22,046
that amount of carnage and mayhem and not
incur a considerable amount of paperwork.

784
00:52:22,130 --> 00:52:23,464
That is nothing, man.

785
00:52:23,548 --> 00:52:25,216
This is about to go off.

786
00:52:41,314 --> 00:52:42,899
This shit just got real.

787
00:52:46,777 --> 00:52:48,529
Nasty way to go.

788
00:52:48,612 --> 00:52:52,616
I think our Mr. Merchant tried to have
a little fry up and left the gas on.

789
00:52:54,451 --> 00:52:57,621
Spends his whole life
devoted to the refrigerator

790
00:52:57,871 --> 00:53:00,248
then gets killed by an oven.

791
00:53:01,249 --> 00:53:04,544
I told him several times,
you shouldn't eat late at night.

792
00:53:04,627 --> 00:53:07,546
Oh, I don't know.
I quite like a little midnight gobble.

793
00:53:07,630 --> 00:53:08,839
Cocks.

794
00:53:08,923 --> 00:53:12,593
So, what do we reckon? Angel?

795
00:53:13,927 --> 00:53:15,053
Help me.

796
00:53:15,595 --> 00:53:19,140
Okay, we get a proper cordon up,
we let the fire crews finish their stuff,

797
00:53:19,224 --> 00:53:21,976
and then we get forensics in
to do a thorough sweep of the house.

798
00:53:22,060 --> 00:53:24,770
Very good. What he said.

799
00:53:24,854 --> 00:53:26,981
Sergeant Angel, hi-hi. A quick word?

800
00:53:27,064 --> 00:53:29,400
Mr. Messenger,
a statement will be issued shortly.

801
00:53:29,483 --> 00:53:32,152
Actually, I just wanted to ask,
"What's your perfect Sunday?"

802
00:53:32,236 --> 00:53:34,613
I'll deal with the press, Sergeant.

803
00:53:34,696 --> 00:53:39,659
Now, my perfect Sunday
is a lovely long lie in...

804
00:53:40,326 --> 00:53:44,956
Fire to destroy all you've done

805
00:53:49,210 --> 00:53:50,461
Like in the films.

806
00:53:50,919 --> 00:53:53,630
Something like,
something out of Backdraft.

807
00:53:55,465 --> 00:53:58,760
- What are you thinking? Foul play?
- Maybe.

808
00:53:59,219 --> 00:54:02,805
We're just hoping to talk to the last people
to see Mr. Merchant alive.

809
00:54:03,222 --> 00:54:08,310
Namely a Sergeant Knickerless Asswipe
and a Constable Fanny Batterbum.

810
00:54:08,394 --> 00:54:11,313
- That's us.
- Why is this such a big joke to you?

811
00:54:11,397 --> 00:54:12,856
Three people have died in a week.

812
00:54:12,940 --> 00:54:15,567
Oh, come on, Doctor Sherlock,
they were accidents.

813
00:54:15,650 --> 00:54:17,152
People have accidents every day.

814
00:54:17,235 --> 00:54:20,155
- The victims knew each other.
- Everyone knows everyone round here.

815
00:54:20,238 --> 00:54:23,491
Yeah. If you didn't see anything suspicious,
then who did?

816
00:54:28,829 --> 00:54:30,748
It's a bit of a blind spot, I'm afraid.

817
00:54:30,831 --> 00:54:33,083
We just catch the very edge
of the explosion.

818
00:54:33,167 --> 00:54:35,002
Nasty way to go.

819
00:54:35,085 --> 00:54:37,671
- There was something took my eye.
- Really? What's that?

820
00:54:38,505 --> 00:54:40,715
Sandford's most wanted.

821
00:54:42,592 --> 00:54:44,969
There you go. It was the swan all along.

822
00:54:45,052 --> 00:54:48,347
- This is not funny, Detective!
- Oh, give over, Miss Marples.

823
00:54:48,431 --> 00:54:50,849
Yeah, you do your job
and we'll do ours, eh?

824
00:54:50,933 --> 00:54:53,185
Yeah. Haven't you got
a church fete to look after?

825
00:54:53,268 --> 00:54:55,228
No, I have not!

826
00:54:56,188 --> 00:54:57,355
Actually.

827
00:55:03,361 --> 00:55:04,403
Testing. Testing.

828
00:55:04,445 --> 00:55:05,446
Someone's in for a surprise at 3:00,
ladies and gentlemen.

829
00:55:05,488 --> 00:55:07,531
It's the raffle with
a very special guest presenter.

830
00:55:07,615 --> 00:55:10,200
Out in the country

831
00:55:10,451 --> 00:55:14,371
Far from all the sorts of noise of the city

832
00:55:14,538 --> 00:55:17,040
There's a village green

833
00:55:17,123 --> 00:55:21,002
It's been a long time since I last set eyes

834
00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:23,212
On the church with a steeple

835
00:55:23,296 --> 00:55:25,506
That's me after a couple of pints.

836
00:55:25,673 --> 00:55:27,049
Splat the rat.

837
00:55:29,677 --> 00:55:31,428
Splat the rat.

838
00:55:33,514 --> 00:55:35,557
Splat the rat.

839
00:55:37,684 --> 00:55:39,227
Shark!

840
00:55:41,062 --> 00:55:43,022
Seen any murderings, Nicholarse?

841
00:55:43,106 --> 00:55:45,733
Come on, boys.
Leave Sergeant Angel alone, he's working.

842
00:55:45,816 --> 00:55:49,278
Sorry, Chief,
won't waste any more police time.

843
00:55:49,361 --> 00:55:50,571
Have a nice time.

844
00:55:50,654 --> 00:55:53,073
Actually, Nicholas,
you might as well take a break.

845
00:55:53,157 --> 00:55:55,951
Hey, great. I've got something to show you.

846
00:56:01,915 --> 00:56:04,876
- This is a rifle range.
- You'll be really good at it.

847
00:56:04,959 --> 00:56:07,420
Feeling lucky, Sergeant?

848
00:56:08,254 --> 00:56:12,883
Three cans wins you the squeaky bunny,
five cans gets you the floppy lion.

849
00:56:12,966 --> 00:56:18,054
Take out all the little people,
you get to waltz off with the cuddly monkey.

850
00:56:19,180 --> 00:56:22,600
I thought I made it clear to you
how I feel about firearms.

851
00:56:22,684 --> 00:56:25,019
It's only an air rifle.

852
00:56:25,311 --> 00:56:26,479
Sergeant.

853
00:56:45,121 --> 00:56:46,831
Dear Lord!

854
00:56:48,207 --> 00:56:50,292
That was amazing.

855
00:56:54,755 --> 00:56:57,674
- Thank you, Danny.
- I can't believe I shot someone.

856
00:56:57,757 --> 00:57:01,010
- He's a doctor, he can deal with it.
- I never shot anyone before.

857
00:57:01,094 --> 00:57:03,304
Danny, believe me,
it's not something you ever get used to.

858
00:57:03,388 --> 00:57:05,640
Yeah. Maybe we should
go on the bouncy castle.

859
00:57:05,723 --> 00:57:06,807
Take our minds off of it.

860
00:57:06,891 --> 00:57:08,809
- Sergeant Angel, hi-hi.
- Mr. Messenger.

861
00:57:08,893 --> 00:57:11,520
I need to talk to you
about George Merchant. Alone.

862
00:57:11,979 --> 00:57:14,231
Churchyard. 3:00.

863
00:57:15,899 --> 00:57:17,025
What do you think he wants?

864
00:57:17,108 --> 00:57:20,153
Would
Sergeant Angel come to the stage, please?

865
00:57:23,197 --> 00:57:27,159
Here to announce the winners is the newest
addition to the Sandford Police Force.

866
00:57:27,243 --> 00:57:28,369
Service.

867
00:57:28,452 --> 00:57:30,204
Sergeant Nicholas Angel.

868
00:57:32,748 --> 00:57:34,041
- Prick.
- Wanker.

869
00:57:35,334 --> 00:57:37,502
Hello. Hello.

870
00:57:54,559 --> 00:57:59,189
The first name is Simon Skinner.

871
00:58:02,191 --> 00:58:03,735
He's in the loo.

872
00:58:04,485 --> 00:58:06,862
Too much of Joyce's lemonade, perhaps.

873
00:58:29,216 --> 00:58:31,635
And the next name is...

874
00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:49,360
Tim, your number's up.

875
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,036
Excuse me. Excuse me.

876
00:59:02,538 --> 00:59:03,748
Hi-hi.

877
00:59:08,252 --> 00:59:09,545
Oh, no!

878
00:59:14,883 --> 00:59:17,802
Stand back, stand back!
There's been a terrible accident.

879
00:59:17,886 --> 00:59:20,597
- Accident?
- Just an accident.

880
00:59:21,222 --> 00:59:23,975
It's all right, it's all right.
There's nothing to see.

881
00:59:24,058 --> 00:59:27,895
Come on, everybody. It's all right.
It's just an accident.

882
00:59:36,611 --> 00:59:38,238
Nicholas, what is it?

883
00:59:38,321 --> 00:59:42,367
Sir, I think all these deaths are linked.
I think Tim Messenger was murdered.

884
00:59:42,784 --> 00:59:45,953
- Who could do something like this?
- Maybe it was the swan.

885
00:59:46,037 --> 00:59:49,123
- Apparently, they can break a man's arm.
- Or blow up a man's house.

886
00:59:49,206 --> 00:59:52,167
- Listen, you pair of...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Nicholas.

887
00:59:52,668 --> 00:59:55,003
Now, let me get this straight.

888
00:59:56,004 --> 01:00:00,008
- Are you saying that this is a crime scene?
- Yes, sir, I am.

889
01:00:00,091 --> 01:00:01,467
Very well.

890
01:00:02,010 --> 01:00:03,094
- Detectives.
- Sir.

891
01:00:03,177 --> 01:00:04,762
Start interviewing everyone
who was at the fete.

892
01:00:04,846 --> 01:00:05,930
Oh, he's got shorts on.

893
01:00:06,013 --> 01:00:07,139
- Sergeant Fisher?
- What?

894
01:00:07,223 --> 01:00:08,641
- Secure the area.
- What?

895
01:00:08,724 --> 01:00:09,934
- PC Thatcher?
- Yes, love?

896
01:00:10,017 --> 01:00:11,643
Get the CSI down here.

897
01:00:11,727 --> 01:00:12,936
PC Walker?

898
01:00:13,020 --> 01:00:15,313
Patrol the churchyard with Saxon.

899
01:00:15,397 --> 01:00:18,608
Nicholas, Danny, you know what to do.

900
01:00:24,906 --> 01:00:27,074
Do you really think this is murder?

901
01:00:27,241 --> 01:00:28,826
I just don't think we should rule it out,
that's all.

902
01:00:28,909 --> 01:00:30,411
Yeah. I think you're right.

903
01:00:30,494 --> 01:00:32,746
I think you're talking a load of old shit.

904
01:00:33,455 --> 01:00:36,708
He thinks you're talking a load of shit.
Swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

905
01:00:37,042 --> 01:00:38,293
Pain in the arse.

906
01:00:38,543 --> 01:00:40,587
- Did you find anything?
- Yeah.

907
01:00:40,670 --> 01:00:42,505
I was extremely shocked
when I looked at my watch

908
01:00:42,588 --> 01:00:44,006
and discovered that I should be in the pub.

909
01:00:44,090 --> 01:00:46,384
Did you go to his house?
Did you read his articles?

910
01:00:46,467 --> 01:00:49,929
If you wanna wade through every copy of
the Sandford bloody Citizen, be our guest.

911
01:00:50,012 --> 01:00:51,930
It's your job, isn't it? Detect!

912
01:00:52,014 --> 01:00:56,268
This ain't the city, Mr. Angel.
Not everyone's a murdering psychopath.

913
01:00:56,435 --> 01:00:59,854
It's high time you realized that.
You and your monkey.

914
01:01:03,191 --> 01:01:05,151
Did he mean me or that?

915
01:01:06,819 --> 01:01:09,029
Oh, maybe we should go home.

916
01:01:09,238 --> 01:01:12,324
- What do you mean?
- Well, there's nothing going on, is there?

917
01:01:12,407 --> 01:01:14,034
Have you listened to anything that I've said?

918
01:01:14,117 --> 01:01:15,243
What do you mean?

919
01:01:15,327 --> 01:01:16,870
Is anything I've told you
in the last two weeks

920
01:01:16,953 --> 01:01:18,997
- sunk into that thick skull of yours?
- Yeah.

921
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,790
Has it? Like what?

922
01:01:21,332 --> 01:01:23,251
You said I could be
an amazing policeman-officer.

923
01:01:23,334 --> 01:01:25,753
There's always something going on, Danny.

924
01:01:25,836 --> 01:01:29,465
And you won't be an amazing police officer
until you understand that.

925
01:01:29,548 --> 01:01:31,925
Well, I remembered something else
you said and all.

926
01:01:32,009 --> 01:01:33,635
- Oh, did you now?
- Yeah.

927
01:01:33,719 --> 01:01:36,012
You don't know how to switch off!

928
01:02:10,210 --> 01:02:11,670
Well, if you wanna wade through every copy

929
01:02:11,754 --> 01:02:14,047
of the Sandford bloody Citizen,
be our guest.

930
01:02:51,665 --> 01:02:54,251
- Morning, Constable.
- All right?

931
01:02:55,585 --> 01:02:57,504
Thanks for the monkey.

932
01:02:58,338 --> 01:03:00,882
- Yours, isn't it?
- I won it for you.

933
01:03:04,510 --> 01:03:06,470
Danny, I think I'm on to something.

934
01:03:06,554 --> 01:03:07,722
- Are you?
- Yes.

935
01:03:07,805 --> 01:03:12,142
And I think with a little deliberation
we can figure out what links these deaths.

936
01:03:12,601 --> 01:03:16,021
- We?
- Come on, partner. Let's go to work.

937
01:03:17,147 --> 01:03:19,065
Oh, oh, Sergeant Angel?

938
01:03:19,149 --> 01:03:23,778
- Someone from London called for you.
- Tell them I'll call them back.

939
01:03:24,612 --> 01:03:25,738
- Tim Messenger.
- Go.

940
01:03:25,821 --> 01:03:27,656
Editor and journalist
at The Sandford Citizen.

941
01:03:27,740 --> 01:03:29,033
- Fondness for puns.
- Go on.

942
01:03:29,116 --> 01:03:30,242
- Terrible speller.
- Oh, yeah?

943
01:03:30,326 --> 01:03:32,286
Nevertheless had uncovered
important information about...

944
01:03:32,369 --> 01:03:34,121
- George Merchant.
- Self-made millionaire.

945
01:03:34,079 --> 01:03:36,248
Fancied himself as a property developer.

946
01:03:36,331 --> 01:03:39,084
- Said he had big plans for Sandford.
- Pissed on the floor in The Crown.

947
01:03:39,167 --> 01:03:41,336
But more importantly,
was a good friend and client of...

948
01:03:41,419 --> 01:03:43,171
- Martin Blower.
- Respected solicitor.

949
01:03:43,254 --> 01:03:45,506
- Affirmatron.
- Leading light of the local drama society.

950
01:03:45,590 --> 01:03:47,008
- Bad actor.
- Undoubtedly.

951
01:03:47,091 --> 01:03:48,634
- Bad driver.
- Not necessarily.

952
01:03:48,759 --> 01:03:50,386
- Cheated on his missus.
- Most certainly.

953
01:03:50,511 --> 01:03:52,429
- And we both know who with.
- Eve Draper.

954
01:03:52,513 --> 01:03:55,349
- Blower's leading lady. Distinctive laugh.
- True.

955
01:03:55,432 --> 01:03:56,850
- Favored older men.
- Fingered.

956
01:03:56,933 --> 01:03:58,184
- Worked at?
- Council.

957
01:03:58,268 --> 01:04:00,979
- More specifically?
- Department of Planning and Development.

958
01:04:01,104 --> 01:04:02,689
Where George Merchant secured permission

959
01:04:02,772 --> 01:04:05,149
to build his dubious mansion
on Norris Avenue.

960
01:04:05,274 --> 01:04:06,359
So...

961
01:04:06,442 --> 01:04:10,529
Maybe they were all accidents.
People have accidents every day.

962
01:04:11,864 --> 01:04:14,366
- What are you two up to?
- Nothing.

963
01:04:14,449 --> 01:04:15,575
Well, look sharp.

964
01:04:15,700 --> 01:04:18,411
- There's been reports of a fire in the station.
- What?

965
01:04:18,536 --> 01:04:22,165
Happy birthday to you

966
01:04:22,290 --> 01:04:26,460
Happy birthday to you

967
01:04:26,544 --> 01:04:30,214
- Danny, why didn't you say something?
- We were working, weren't we?

968
01:04:32,633 --> 01:04:35,677
- Hey, where are you going?
- Personal errand.

969
01:04:42,475 --> 01:04:43,893
Hello, Miss Tiller.

970
01:04:43,976 --> 01:04:46,687
I was wondering,
do you have any Japanese Peace Lilies?

971
01:04:46,812 --> 01:04:48,189
Of course.

972
01:04:48,981 --> 01:04:51,400
I was just about to pop off, actually.

973
01:04:52,234 --> 01:04:54,528
I can never find my scissors.

974
01:04:54,820 --> 01:04:58,740
- Is this for someone special?
- Yes. Yes, it is.

975
01:05:01,159 --> 01:05:05,788
- Are you going somewhere, Miss Tiller?
- Yes. I'm moving away.

976
01:05:06,914 --> 01:05:10,084
And why the move,
if you don't mind me asking?

977
01:05:10,167 --> 01:05:15,005
- Well, just between you and I...
- Yes?

978
01:05:15,255 --> 01:05:18,133
- You know that fella who blew up?
- George Merchant.

979
01:05:18,258 --> 01:05:21,386
Well, George Merchant, God rest him,
wanted to buy this land,

980
01:05:21,511 --> 01:05:25,056
so he sends round his legal fella,
Martin Blower, God rest him,

981
01:05:25,181 --> 01:05:27,266
and I thought I might take them up on it.

982
01:05:27,350 --> 01:05:31,061
I haven't really got that much family
round here, save for Cousin Sissy.

983
01:05:31,186 --> 01:05:34,606
So I thought I might take them up
on the offer and move to Buford Abbey.

984
01:05:34,690 --> 01:05:36,691
Would you like a card with this?

985
01:05:36,858 --> 01:05:39,152
No, sorry, you were talking about the offer?

986
01:05:39,277 --> 01:05:42,447
Well, it turns out that Martin Blower,
God rest him,

987
01:05:42,530 --> 01:05:44,699
knew where the new bypass road is going

988
01:05:44,782 --> 01:05:47,868
because he was knocking off Eve Draper
from the council, God rest her,

989
01:05:47,952 --> 01:05:51,663
and then that reporter, God rest him,
finds out about the route

990
01:05:51,789 --> 01:05:53,874
and tells me this land's very valuable.

991
01:05:53,957 --> 01:05:58,044
Ten times what George Merchant and
Martin Blower, God rest them, offered me.

992
01:05:58,128 --> 01:06:01,130
So, with them having passed on,
I decided to sell it on myself

993
01:06:01,214 --> 01:06:04,008
to some folks from the city
that Martin, George and Eve,

994
01:06:04,133 --> 01:06:06,135
God rest the lot of them,
had been talking to.

995
01:06:06,218 --> 01:06:09,054
Apparently, they want to build
a big shopping center or something.

996
01:06:09,138 --> 01:06:11,932
Of course, Cousin Sissy won't be
too happy about that,

997
01:06:12,057 --> 01:06:14,101
but as far as I'm concerned,
Cousin Sissy can go and fuck...

998
01:06:14,226 --> 01:06:16,812
Would you just excuse me,
for just one second?

999
01:06:32,076 --> 01:06:33,243
Stop!

1000
01:06:34,161 --> 01:06:35,746
In the name of the law!

1001
01:07:33,966 --> 01:07:35,926
Hang about, hang about.

1002
01:07:36,802 --> 01:07:39,054
You're saying this wasn't an accident?

1003
01:07:40,388 --> 01:07:42,432
Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered!

1004
01:07:42,557 --> 01:07:43,975
- What, just like Tim Messenger?
- Yes!

1005
01:07:44,058 --> 01:07:45,226
- And George Merchant?
- Yes!

1006
01:07:45,309 --> 01:07:46,560
- And Eve Draper?
- Yes!

1007
01:07:46,644 --> 01:07:48,270
- And Martin Blower?
- No, actually.

1008
01:07:48,395 --> 01:07:50,230
- Really?
- 'Course he fucking was!

1009
01:07:50,314 --> 01:07:52,232
Thank you, Danny.

1010
01:07:52,316 --> 01:07:55,652
Oh, murder, murder, murder.
Change the fucking record.

1011
01:07:56,236 --> 01:07:57,404
Thank you, Andy.

1012
01:07:57,487 --> 01:08:01,741
Come on, Sergeant, you've gotta accept
it was just another nasty accident.

1013
01:08:01,824 --> 01:08:02,909
What are you suggesting?

1014
01:08:02,992 --> 01:08:05,494
That Leslie Tiller tripped
and fell on her own shears?

1015
01:08:05,578 --> 01:08:08,038
Ben Fletcher fell
on his pitchfork the other week.

1016
01:08:08,164 --> 01:08:11,583
Yeah, accidents happen all the time.
What makes you think it was murder?

1017
01:08:11,667 --> 01:08:14,628
- Because I was there!
- There's a point.

1018
01:08:14,753 --> 01:08:16,088
Why were you there?

1019
01:08:16,171 --> 01:08:20,425
I was buying Constable Butterman
a Japanese Peace Lily for his birthday.

1020
01:08:20,508 --> 01:08:23,094
What absolute horseshit.

1021
01:08:23,177 --> 01:08:27,139
I chased a suspect from the scene.
Innocent people don't run!

1022
01:08:27,264 --> 01:08:30,309
Here, maybe it was our old friend,
the cactus thief.

1023
01:08:30,434 --> 01:08:33,103
Oh, yeah, he was a prickly customer,
weren't he?

1024
01:08:33,937 --> 01:08:36,648
Am I going completely mad?

1025
01:08:38,775 --> 01:08:40,443
Maybe you are.

1026
01:08:42,362 --> 01:08:45,114
Maybe you did it.

1027
01:08:45,198 --> 01:08:48,534
Yeah, seeing as how you're such
a big fan of murder.

1028
01:08:48,617 --> 01:08:50,035
- What the...
- Sergeant Angel?

1029
01:08:50,119 --> 01:08:52,621
Yes! Sir.

1030
01:08:55,207 --> 01:08:58,084
Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas.

1031
01:08:58,209 --> 01:09:00,753
What am I going to do with you?

1032
01:09:00,879 --> 01:09:05,383
- Sir, you have to understand...
- No, you have to understand.

1033
01:09:06,384 --> 01:09:10,346
The boys here aren't used
to the concepts you're bandying about.

1034
01:09:10,971 --> 01:09:13,473
The "M" word, Nicholas.

1035
01:09:13,557 --> 01:09:17,769
There hasn't been a recorded murder
in Sandford for 20 years.

1036
01:09:17,894 --> 01:09:19,687
But, sir, I'm certain.

1037
01:09:20,230 --> 01:09:23,441
And what's more, I know who did it.

1038
01:09:29,488 --> 01:09:31,407
Can I see the manager, please?

1039
01:09:36,912 --> 01:09:42,875
Mr. Skinner to the Manager's office.
Manager's office. Mr. Skinner.

1040
01:09:43,584 --> 01:09:47,046
Sergeant Angel.
And to what do I owe this pleasure?

1041
01:09:47,171 --> 01:09:51,216
Simon Skinner, I'm arresting you
on suspicion of the murder of Leslie Tiller.

1042
01:09:51,341 --> 01:09:54,761
Leslie Tiller's dead? How?

1043
01:09:54,928 --> 01:09:57,222
She tripped and fell on her own shears.

1044
01:09:58,848 --> 01:10:02,185
I'm also arresting you on suspicion of
the murder of Tim Messenger on May 1st,

1045
01:10:02,268 --> 01:10:03,895
of George Merchant on April 29th

1046
01:10:04,020 --> 01:10:06,564
and of Eve Draper
and Martin Blower on April 28th.

1047
01:10:06,689 --> 01:10:10,651
- Why on earth would I do that, Sergeant?
- I'm glad you asked.

1048
01:10:12,444 --> 01:10:14,571
My suspicions were first aroused
when you appeared

1049
01:10:14,696 --> 01:10:17,449
at the scene of the Blower-Draper death,
on the outskirts of Sandford,

1050
01:10:17,532 --> 01:10:21,369
despite the fact you live and work
in the center of the village.

1051
01:10:22,620 --> 01:10:26,916
I couldn't help but recall your comments
at the theater on the previous evening.

1052
01:10:27,208 --> 01:10:30,127
When you not only indicated
an awareness of the couple's affair

1053
01:10:30,210 --> 01:10:32,212
but also inferred
that Eve's connections at the council

1054
01:10:32,296 --> 01:10:35,257
might make her privy
to important information.

1055
01:10:35,382 --> 01:10:37,634
You even spoke of "bashing her head in."

1056
01:10:37,717 --> 01:10:41,346
Perhaps hoping you might discover
the route of the proposed Sandford Bypass.

1057
01:10:41,471 --> 01:10:43,681
You were already suspicious
that George Merchant was buying up

1058
01:10:43,806 --> 01:10:46,058
a large area of land
on the outskirts of Sandford,

1059
01:10:46,142 --> 01:10:49,103
after an article Tim Messenger
wrote in the Sandford Citizen.

1060
01:10:49,228 --> 01:10:52,856
You see, the land Merchant was buying
had little value in of itself but,

1061
01:10:52,981 --> 01:10:56,860
if it became accessible by road,
it would be a prime location for say,

1062
01:10:57,235 --> 01:10:58,903
a retail park.

1063
01:10:58,987 --> 01:11:00,989
Consumed with concern for your business

1064
01:11:01,072 --> 01:11:03,116
and potential disloyalty
from fickle customers,

1065
01:11:03,241 --> 01:11:05,785
you yourself expressed a wish to behead.

1066
01:11:06,327 --> 01:11:08,996
You killed the competition in cold blood.

1067
01:11:09,079 --> 01:11:10,956
Staging the murders as accidents.

1068
01:11:11,081 --> 01:11:14,126
You used a vehicle removal truck
to stage the Blower-Draper death

1069
01:11:14,251 --> 01:11:16,128
and incinerated an old man
in his own house.

1070
01:11:16,253 --> 01:11:19,422
Covering your tracks with the judicial
application of bacon and beans.

1071
01:11:19,506 --> 01:11:22,467
However, there was a loose end.

1072
01:11:23,509 --> 01:11:24,969
Tim Messenger.

1073
01:11:25,094 --> 01:11:27,221
Splattered before he could share with me

1074
01:11:27,346 --> 01:11:30,266
what he told Leslie Tiller
that very afternoon.

1075
01:11:30,349 --> 01:11:33,185
The true value of her land.

1076
01:11:33,602 --> 01:11:36,480
Upon discovering she was about
to sell up to the developers,

1077
01:11:36,605 --> 01:11:39,399
you brutally murdered her
with her own shears.

1078
01:11:39,482 --> 01:11:44,237
And made good your escape utilizing
your impressive skills as a fun runner.

1079
01:11:50,701 --> 01:11:54,496
Very entertaining. But I rather think
you've been watching too many films.

1080
01:11:56,123 --> 01:11:57,165
He hasn't.

1081
01:11:57,249 --> 01:12:01,002
Why would I kill Leslie?
You clearly aren't aware that we're related.

1082
01:12:01,127 --> 01:12:03,671
Oh, but I am, "Cousin Sissy."

1083
01:12:05,214 --> 01:12:09,510
I'm afraid my nickname of Sissy
is only a revelation to yourself.

1084
01:12:09,802 --> 01:12:13,180
My teenage years studying ballet
are well known.

1085
01:12:13,305 --> 01:12:16,433
- Yeah, Sissy Skinner.
- What a Gaylord.

1086
01:12:16,516 --> 01:12:18,059
Thank you, Andrews.

1087
01:12:18,143 --> 01:12:21,521
Now, despite my comments
about "beheading" customers,

1088
01:12:21,646 --> 01:12:25,149
I personally relish the competition
of another store.

1089
01:12:25,233 --> 01:12:28,861
Anything to energize my workforce.

1090
01:12:30,404 --> 01:12:34,992
And anyway, what makes you think
I could dislodge part of the church roof?

1091
01:12:35,075 --> 01:12:37,535
Or for that matter, stage a car crash?

1092
01:12:37,661 --> 01:12:40,997
It's a well known fact that
the church roof is in dire need of repair.

1093
01:12:41,080 --> 01:12:43,249
And isn't it true
that two of your own employees

1094
01:12:43,332 --> 01:12:45,793
operate the vehicle removal service
for the council?

1095
01:12:45,918 --> 01:12:48,254
Sergeant, this is the 21st Century.

1096
01:12:48,337 --> 01:12:51,256
Many people hold down several jobs.

1097
01:12:51,382 --> 01:12:55,052
I myself host a life drawing class
at the Village Hall.

1098
01:12:55,135 --> 01:12:58,179
Tina here is a table dancer at Flappers.

1099
01:12:58,513 --> 01:13:02,392
Nevertheless, you could have utilized
the vehicle removal truck for your own ends.

1100
01:13:02,517 --> 01:13:04,519
These accusations
are quite meaningless, Sergeant,

1101
01:13:04,602 --> 01:13:07,229
unless you can back them up
with hard evidence.

1102
01:13:07,354 --> 01:13:09,898
Well, you've got me there.

1103
01:13:10,024 --> 01:13:11,984
I'd need something conclusive.

1104
01:13:12,109 --> 01:13:14,236
Something that placed you
at the scene of the crime.

1105
01:13:14,361 --> 01:13:18,365
Perhaps a wound you sustained on
a piece of broken glass this very evening.

1106
01:13:20,033 --> 01:13:21,659
This very evening.

1107
01:13:22,952 --> 01:13:26,205
Sergeant, this is beginning
to get embarrassing.

1108
01:13:26,330 --> 01:13:29,458
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1109
01:13:31,794 --> 01:13:36,423
I'm sure the store's security footage
will absolve me.

1110
01:13:37,132 --> 01:13:39,801
Do feel free to spool through.

1111
01:13:57,317 --> 01:13:58,360
I can handle this, Danny.

1112
01:13:58,485 --> 01:14:01,738
You might as well go back
and just enjoy the rest of your birthday.

1113
01:14:01,821 --> 01:14:04,407
- Did you really get me that plant?
- Yes, I did.

1114
01:14:04,490 --> 01:14:07,952
But it's been impounded as evidence.

1115
01:14:08,077 --> 01:14:12,664
Well, I mean,
maybe Dad will still let me water it, eh?

1116
01:14:12,748 --> 01:14:13,916
Yeah.

1117
01:14:17,335 --> 01:14:18,753
Sergeant, I wanted you to know that

1118
01:14:18,837 --> 01:14:22,173
if I do indeed now
own the land belonging to...

1119
01:14:23,925 --> 01:14:29,763
belonging to Leslie, that I intend to turn it
into a memorial garden, in her honor.

1120
01:14:29,847 --> 01:14:34,434
Mr. Skinner, what you do with your land
is of no concern of mine,

1121
01:14:37,270 --> 01:14:38,438
so jog on.

1122
01:14:39,355 --> 01:14:43,943
Michael, will you escort the Sergeant
off the premises when he's quite finished?

1123
01:14:44,026 --> 01:14:45,570
Yarp.

1124
01:14:48,739 --> 01:14:53,035
I just can't believe Leslie's dead.
How did it happen?

1125
01:14:53,118 --> 01:14:55,454
She tripped and fell on her own shears.

1126
01:15:03,628 --> 01:15:05,796
Hey, that weren't me.

1127
01:15:13,887 --> 01:15:15,013
Hey, look.

1128
01:15:15,138 --> 01:15:17,807
Look, Mr. Treacher's
got his big coat on again.

1129
01:15:21,519 --> 01:15:25,898
- You want anything from the shop?
- Cornetto.

1130
01:15:28,484 --> 01:15:32,654
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1131
01:15:36,074 --> 01:15:39,327
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1132
01:15:39,411 --> 01:15:42,747
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1133
01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:46,834
- No luck catching them killers, then?
- It's just the one killer, actually.

1134
01:15:46,917 --> 01:15:50,170
- What's the matter? You got brain-freeze?
- No, I got brainwave.

1135
01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:52,548
Get us back to the station, now!

1136
01:15:59,512 --> 01:16:01,222
- It's more than one person.
- Come again?

1137
01:16:01,347 --> 01:16:04,183
- It's more than one killer.
- It was Skinner a minute ago.

1138
01:16:04,308 --> 01:16:05,351
Yeah, well, maybe it still is.

1139
01:16:05,434 --> 01:16:07,812
You know, maybe he's... Maybe he's
not alone. Maybe there are others.

1140
01:16:07,937 --> 01:16:13,066
Nicholas, you're an exceptional officer.
But I've seen this before.

1141
01:16:13,525 --> 01:16:16,111
- Sir?
- Sergeant Popwell.

1142
01:16:16,194 --> 01:16:19,030
It was exactly the same thing.

1143
01:16:19,114 --> 01:16:23,534
You've come from a city
where there's danger round every corner,

1144
01:16:24,035 --> 01:16:26,537
and it's driven you round the bend.

1145
01:16:27,038 --> 01:16:28,330
Yes, sir.

1146
01:16:28,622 --> 01:16:32,042
Do yourself a favor. Sleep on it.

1147
01:16:32,126 --> 01:16:37,881
And if you still feel the same in the morning,
I give you my word, I'll get right on to it.

1148
01:16:42,218 --> 01:16:45,137
Hey. Hey, what's happening?
What's going on?

1149
01:16:45,805 --> 01:16:49,725
Nothing, nothing.
I'm just gonna go back to the hotel.

1150
01:16:49,808 --> 01:16:55,313
- I mean, do you want a lift?
- No, no, I could do with a walk.

1151
01:17:58,788 --> 01:18:01,666
Hey, big one, playtime's over.

1152
01:18:06,045 --> 01:18:07,421
Michael?

1153
01:18:08,339 --> 01:18:11,008
Michael? Are you there?

1154
01:18:11,633 --> 01:18:15,679
Michael? Is everything okay?

1155
01:18:18,348 --> 01:18:19,516
Yarp.

1156
01:18:19,641 --> 01:18:22,352
Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?

1157
01:18:22,477 --> 01:18:23,561
Yarp.

1158
01:18:23,644 --> 01:18:26,105
He's not gonna get back up again?

1159
01:18:28,732 --> 01:18:30,025
Narp!

1160
01:18:31,318 --> 01:18:33,862
Good. Proceed to the castle.

1161
01:18:39,117 --> 01:18:40,827
Frank, this shit just got real.

1162
01:18:40,910 --> 01:18:44,705
Skinner just sent someone to kill me,
and, now, now he's gone somewhere.

1163
01:18:44,831 --> 01:18:47,375
Up to the... To the castle, I think.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna go after him.

1164
01:18:47,500 --> 01:18:49,793
Okay? It's Nicholas, by the way.

1165
01:18:51,920 --> 01:18:56,383
Oh, my God.
What happened to your Peace Lily?

1166
01:18:56,675 --> 01:19:00,553
Danny. Danny, just stay here, okay?
And watch him, and call your dad.

1167
01:19:00,678 --> 01:19:02,722
- Tell him I was right.
- What are you gonna do?

1168
01:19:02,847 --> 01:19:07,435
- I'm gonna bust this thing wide open.
- Nicholas, wait.

1169
01:19:07,518 --> 01:19:11,271
- You might need this.
- Thanks, partner.

1170
01:19:44,469 --> 01:19:47,888
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1171
01:19:47,972 --> 01:19:51,141
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1172
01:19:51,225 --> 01:19:54,519
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1173
01:19:55,645 --> 01:19:59,774
I just can't believe Leslie's dead.
How did it happen?

1174
01:19:59,899 --> 01:20:02,944
You'll find that we run
a very tight ship here.

1175
01:20:03,069 --> 01:20:04,862
Who could do something like this?

1176
01:20:04,987 --> 01:20:08,324
Seems like Mr. Merchant tried
to have a little fry up and left the gas on.

1177
01:20:08,407 --> 01:20:09,742
Nasty way to go.

1178
01:20:09,867 --> 01:20:10,951
What happened, Danny?

1179
01:20:11,076 --> 01:20:12,870
No luck catching them killers, then?

1180
01:20:12,995 --> 01:20:14,830
No luck catching them killers, then?

1181
01:20:14,913 --> 01:20:17,123
No luck catching them...

1182
01:20:20,585 --> 01:20:23,004
Now, quick announcement before we begin.

1183
01:20:23,087 --> 01:20:27,466
Janet Barker has decided
to call her boys Roger and Martin.

1184
01:20:27,591 --> 01:20:32,846
And the christening will be
a week on Saturday and we're all invited.

1185
01:20:33,096 --> 01:20:35,432
- Tom.
- Thanks, Joyce.

1186
01:20:35,682 --> 01:20:38,768
Now, you'll all be delighted to hear

1187
01:20:38,852 --> 01:20:43,523
that the tenacious Sergeant Angel
has been taken care of.

1188
01:20:43,606 --> 01:20:49,195
Joyce will discover the Sergeant lying
on the wet floor of his bathroom,

1189
01:20:49,278 --> 01:20:53,532
having slipped
and tragically broken his neck.

1190
01:20:53,657 --> 01:20:55,700
So, with the dispatch of the Sergeant,

1191
01:20:55,784 --> 01:20:59,871
we will now be able to concentrate
on the eradication of our hoodie infestation.

1192
01:20:59,954 --> 01:21:01,039
Quite right.

1193
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:04,584
After which, nothing will stand in our way.

1194
01:21:04,709 --> 01:21:07,545
Oh, I beg to differ, Mr. Weaver.

1195
01:21:07,670 --> 01:21:11,882
Well, well, well, I see we have visitors.

1196
01:21:12,216 --> 01:21:15,385
Sergeant Nicholas Angel.
Sandford Police Service.

1197
01:21:15,510 --> 01:21:18,221
My, he is tenacious, isn't he?

1198
01:21:18,305 --> 01:21:21,182
I'm arresting you under suspicion
of conspiracy to commit murder.

1199
01:21:21,266 --> 01:21:24,060
Oh, come, come, Sergeant.

1200
01:21:24,143 --> 01:21:25,728
You should be ashamed.

1201
01:21:25,811 --> 01:21:29,398
- Calling yourself a community that cares.
- Oh, but we do care, Nicholas.

1202
01:21:29,481 --> 01:21:31,233
It's all about the greater good.

1203
01:21:31,316 --> 01:21:32,818
The greater good.

1204
01:21:32,901 --> 01:21:34,403
How can this be for the greater good?

1205
01:21:34,486 --> 01:21:36,029
The greater good.

1206
01:21:36,154 --> 01:21:38,239
You see, as much as I enjoyed
your wild theories, Sergeant,

1207
01:21:38,323 --> 01:21:40,033
the truth is far less complex.

1208
01:21:40,158 --> 01:21:45,329
Blower's fate was simply the result
of his being an appalling actor.

1209
01:21:46,831 --> 01:21:48,082
Quite appalling.

1210
01:21:48,165 --> 01:21:49,917
You murdered him for that?

1211
01:21:51,001 --> 01:21:53,420
- Well, he murdered Bill Shakespeare.
- What?

1212
01:21:53,545 --> 01:21:57,007
The Dramatic Society
is an important feather in our cap.

1213
01:21:57,340 --> 01:21:58,800
Couldn't let
Blower jeopardize that.

1214
01:21:58,925 --> 01:22:01,135
Not when we had two semi-professionals
waiting in the wings.

1215
01:22:01,261 --> 01:22:03,805
Let's not forget that Greg
was an extra in Straw Dogs.

1216
01:22:03,930 --> 01:22:05,765
And Sheree played a cadaver
in Prime Suspect.

1217
01:22:05,848 --> 01:22:07,266
Yes, I know!

1218
01:22:07,349 --> 01:22:09,977
Martin was less concerned
with the reputation of the village

1219
01:22:10,102 --> 01:22:13,272
than he was with his sordid affair
with Eve Draper.

1220
01:22:13,397 --> 01:22:14,940
And so Eve deserved to die too?

1221
01:22:15,023 --> 01:22:17,442
Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.

1222
01:22:17,567 --> 01:22:18,777
Annoying.

1223
01:22:18,860 --> 01:22:21,696
- And, and George Merchant?
- He had an awful house.

1224
01:22:22,030 --> 01:22:23,072
Awful.

1225
01:22:23,197 --> 01:22:24,824
We begged him in vain
to make his residence

1226
01:22:24,907 --> 01:22:27,451
more in keeping
with the village's rustic esthetic.

1227
01:22:28,536 --> 01:22:31,121
And what about Tim Messenger?
What was his crime?

1228
01:22:31,205 --> 01:22:35,917
Tim Messenger's tenure as editor of
the Sandford Citizen has been unbearable.

1229
01:22:36,042 --> 01:22:39,838
Our once great paper had
become riddled with tabloid journalism.

1230
01:22:39,963 --> 01:22:41,881
Not to mention persistent errors.

1231
01:22:41,965 --> 01:22:45,218
- He listed her age as 55.
- When, actually, I'm 53.

1232
01:22:45,301 --> 01:22:46,802
Fifty-three.

1233
01:22:46,886 --> 01:22:48,554
What, what about Leslie Tiller?
One of your own?

1234
01:22:48,637 --> 01:22:51,140
Her horticultural expertise helped
put Sandford on the map.

1235
01:22:51,223 --> 01:22:53,267
Oh, she was ever so good.

1236
01:22:53,392 --> 01:22:55,519
Cousin Leslie was a terrible shame.

1237
01:22:55,811 --> 01:22:59,522
But it seemed she was set on moving away.

1238
01:22:59,647 --> 01:23:02,984
We couldn't have her sharing
her green fingers with anybody else.

1239
01:23:03,067 --> 01:23:05,027
Not least those heathens at Buford Abbey.

1240
01:23:05,152 --> 01:23:07,822
If we can't have her, no one can.

1241
01:23:07,905 --> 01:23:09,448
How can this be for the greater good?

1242
01:23:09,573 --> 01:23:11,575
- The greater good.
- Shut it!

1243
01:23:11,658 --> 01:23:14,828
These people died for no reason.
No reason whatsoever!

1244
01:23:14,911 --> 01:23:17,414
Oh, I wouldn't say that.

1245
01:23:19,165 --> 01:23:20,542
Hello, Nicholas.

1246
01:23:21,668 --> 01:23:23,544
I was like you once.

1247
01:23:24,170 --> 01:23:27,590
I believed in the immutable word of the law.

1248
01:23:27,923 --> 01:23:31,718
That is until the night Mrs. Butterman
was taken from me.

1249
01:23:32,636 --> 01:23:35,305
You see,
no one loved Sandford more than her.

1250
01:23:35,430 --> 01:23:39,392
She was head of the Women's Institute,
chair of the floral committee.

1251
01:23:39,476 --> 01:23:41,561
When they started
the Village of the Year contest,

1252
01:23:41,686 --> 01:23:45,356
she worked round the clock.
I've never seen such dedication.

1253
01:23:46,732 --> 01:23:52,029
On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival,
some travelers moved into Callahan Park.

1254
01:23:52,863 --> 01:23:56,366
Before you could say, "Gypsy scum,"
we were knee-deep in dog muck,

1255
01:23:56,449 --> 01:23:58,785
thieving kids and crusty jugglers.

1256
01:23:58,868 --> 01:24:00,620
Crusty jugglers.

1257
01:24:00,745 --> 01:24:03,790
We lost the title and Irene lost her mind.

1258
01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:08,919
She drove her Datsun Cherry
into Sandford Gorge.

1259
01:24:09,044 --> 01:24:14,132
From that moment on,
I swore that I would do her proud.

1260
01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:18,970
And whatever the cost,
we would make Sandford great again.

1261
01:24:19,304 --> 01:24:21,180
Sir, this doesn't make any sense.

1262
01:24:21,306 --> 01:24:25,142
The adjudicators arrive tomorrow.
We had to get everything ready.

1263
01:24:25,268 --> 01:24:27,937
Are you saying this is all about
winning the Best Village Award?

1264
01:24:28,062 --> 01:24:31,732
This is the best village, Nicholas.
You've seen the people.

1265
01:24:31,815 --> 01:24:36,278
- They're happy, contented.
- They're living in a dream world.

1266
01:24:36,403 --> 01:24:38,988
Sergeant Popwell
thought much the same as you.

1267
01:24:39,072 --> 01:24:41,115
I'm disappointed
you can't see the bigger picture.

1268
01:24:41,241 --> 01:24:43,618
Well, I'm happy to disappoint you, sir.

1269
01:24:43,743 --> 01:24:45,453
And I'm afraid
you're gonna have to come with me.

1270
01:24:45,578 --> 01:24:47,621
You are all gonna have to come with me.

1271
01:24:47,705 --> 01:24:51,792
No, Nicholas, I'm afraid it is you

1272
01:24:51,875 --> 01:24:54,628
who is going to have to come with us.

1273
01:25:02,677 --> 01:25:04,262
Danny, no.

1274
01:25:08,682 --> 01:25:10,142
Back off! Back off!

1275
01:25:10,267 --> 01:25:12,478
Or I swear to God,
you'll be explaining how Danny tripped over

1276
01:25:12,603 --> 01:25:14,021
and accidentally cut off his own head.

1277
01:25:14,104 --> 01:25:16,273
Come on, Nicholas.
You haven't got it in you.

1278
01:25:16,398 --> 01:25:17,691
I mean it!

1279
01:25:21,361 --> 01:25:22,612
Shit!

1280
01:25:37,375 --> 01:25:40,712
Gypsy scum. Travelers.

1281
01:25:40,837 --> 01:25:43,881
Thieving kids. Dog muck.

1282
01:25:46,133 --> 01:25:48,010
Crusty jugglers.

1283
01:25:48,219 --> 01:25:51,805
Crusty jugglers. Crusty jugglers.

1284
01:25:52,723 --> 01:25:54,016
Crusty jugglers.

1285
01:25:54,141 --> 01:25:57,727
There hasn't been a recorded murder
in Sandford for 20 years.

1286
01:25:57,811 --> 01:26:00,772
There's a reason we accommodate
a few of the younglings at the pub.

1287
01:26:00,897 --> 01:26:03,399
Spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.

1288
01:26:03,483 --> 01:26:06,277
I'll make sure everyone gets
their just deserts.

1289
01:26:11,407 --> 01:26:14,284
If we don't come down hard
on these clowns...

1290
01:26:14,409 --> 01:26:16,077
We'll get round to it.

1291
01:26:28,339 --> 01:26:29,506
Danny!

1292
01:27:04,455 --> 01:27:05,790
Ta-da.

1293
01:27:06,040 --> 01:27:09,210
- What are you doing?
- Saving your skin.

1294
01:27:11,462 --> 01:27:14,172
- This is murder!
- It's not, it's ketchup.

1295
01:27:14,256 --> 01:27:17,008
I'm not talking about that,
I'm talking about the others.

1296
01:27:17,133 --> 01:27:20,053
- What others?
- The others the NWA have murdered.

1297
01:27:20,136 --> 01:27:21,471
- That's not true.
- It is!

1298
01:27:21,554 --> 01:27:23,723
Dad just said it was his special club, he...

1299
01:27:23,806 --> 01:27:25,683
I thought it was about
rapping people on the knuckles

1300
01:27:25,808 --> 01:27:28,978
- and sending them on their way.
- There are skeletons back there!

1301
01:27:29,061 --> 01:27:30,646
I don't know nothing about no skelingtons.

1302
01:27:30,729 --> 01:27:32,981
- What did you think was happening?
- Not this!

1303
01:27:33,065 --> 01:27:34,191
It's Frank.

1304
01:27:34,316 --> 01:27:36,485
He's appointed himself judge,
jury and executioner.

1305
01:27:36,610 --> 01:27:39,904
- He's not Judge Judy and executioner.
- He is!

1306
01:27:39,988 --> 01:27:43,157
- You've gotta help me take him down.
- I can't.

1307
01:27:44,242 --> 01:27:47,036
He's my dad. Take my car.

1308
01:27:48,120 --> 01:27:51,081
Go back to London.
There's nothing you can do.

1309
01:27:51,206 --> 01:27:52,666
I can come back.

1310
01:27:52,791 --> 01:27:54,876
I can come back,
and I can bring the blue fury

1311
01:27:55,001 --> 01:27:57,003
of the Metropolitan Police Service with me.

1312
01:27:57,087 --> 01:28:00,089
They'll make it disappear.
Who are they gonna believe?

1313
01:28:00,173 --> 01:28:02,925
My dad, or a loony London police officer.

1314
01:28:03,009 --> 01:28:04,552
But it won't be just me, will it?

1315
01:28:04,677 --> 01:28:07,847
We can do it together.
You and me. Partners.

1316
01:28:08,097 --> 01:28:11,850
Forget it, Nicholas. It's Sandford.

1317
01:29:03,981 --> 01:29:05,316
Is that everything? Sir?

1318
01:29:11,822 --> 01:29:15,242
Sir? Sir?

1319
01:29:16,743 --> 01:29:20,955
- Is there anything I can do for you?
- No.

1320
01:29:24,167 --> 01:29:26,460
This is something I have to do myself.

1321
01:29:52,151 --> 01:29:55,987
Another beautiful day in God's country.

1322
01:30:03,661 --> 01:30:05,162
Danny?

1323
01:30:14,212 --> 01:30:15,505
It's...

1324
01:30:20,844 --> 01:30:21,928
Mum!

1325
01:30:33,355 --> 01:30:34,773
What you gonna do?

1326
01:30:34,898 --> 01:30:37,943
Just walk in and arrest the whole village?

1327
01:30:39,736 --> 01:30:40,904
Not exactly.

1328
01:31:13,934 --> 01:31:17,145
Oh, Sergeant Angel?
Someone from London called for you.

1329
01:31:25,278 --> 01:31:27,530
I'll tell them you'll ring them back.

1330
01:31:29,782 --> 01:31:31,950
- Well, that's funny.
- What's that?

1331
01:31:32,451 --> 01:31:35,120
I didn't know we had a mounted division.

1332
01:31:35,203 --> 01:31:36,913
Nobody tells me nothing.

1333
01:31:53,303 --> 01:31:55,097
Wanna do something useful?

1334
01:32:04,564 --> 01:32:09,485
Annette, that Sergeant Angel's
back. Check out his horse.

1335
01:32:10,486 --> 01:32:12,404
Roger that!

1336
01:32:14,156 --> 01:32:17,117
- It's...
- Angel.

1337
01:33:28,390 --> 01:33:29,558
Morning.

1338
01:34:53,135 --> 01:34:55,053
That's what I'm talking about.

1339
01:35:09,984 --> 01:35:12,152
Still feel like you're missing out?

1340
01:35:38,843 --> 01:35:40,220
Fascist!

1341
01:35:56,860 --> 01:35:58,028
Hag!

1342
01:36:16,545 --> 01:36:20,215
Stop! Stop this, please!

1343
01:36:20,882 --> 01:36:24,260
Let us stop this mindless violence.

1344
01:36:25,553 --> 01:36:27,555
Nicholas, my son.

1345
01:36:28,722 --> 01:36:32,643
You may not be a man of God,
but surely you're a man of peace.

1346
01:36:32,726 --> 01:36:38,481
I may not be a man of God, Reverend,
but I know right, and I know wrong,

1347
01:36:39,232 --> 01:36:41,776
and I have the good grace
to know which is which.

1348
01:36:41,901 --> 01:36:44,904
Oh, fuck off, Grasshopper.

1349
01:36:46,489 --> 01:36:47,948
No!

1350
01:36:49,158 --> 01:36:50,909
Jesus Christ!

1351
01:36:51,410 --> 01:36:53,412
Nicholas! Nicholas!

1352
01:36:59,751 --> 01:37:01,502
I thought you was a goner.

1353
01:37:01,586 --> 01:37:03,296
Drop your weapons!

1354
01:37:03,921 --> 01:37:06,340
- Dr. Hatcher, no!
- Shut up, Danny.

1355
01:37:07,341 --> 01:37:10,844
I brought you into this world,
I think it's rather fitting

1356
01:37:10,928 --> 01:37:13,764
I should be the one to take you out of it.

1357
01:37:14,097 --> 01:37:17,934
You and your interfering little friend.

1358
01:37:18,435 --> 01:37:19,561
Now...

1359
01:37:23,940 --> 01:37:25,191
drop them.

1360
01:37:41,706 --> 01:37:45,835
- You're a doctor, deal with it.
- Yeah, motherfucker.

1361
01:37:46,460 --> 01:37:48,796
- Danny, let's roll.
- What you thinking?

1362
01:37:50,798 --> 01:37:51,882
Pub?

1363
01:38:52,020 --> 01:38:53,981
Roy!

1364
01:38:54,690 --> 01:38:57,734
Somebody call the police!

1365
01:38:57,859 --> 01:38:58,985
Freeze!

1366
01:39:01,863 --> 01:39:04,699
Officers, arrest that man.

1367
01:39:05,199 --> 01:39:08,369
- Danny, step away from the Sergeant.
- No, Dad.

1368
01:39:08,786 --> 01:39:11,163
Danny, you'll do as you're told.

1369
01:39:11,288 --> 01:39:13,749
I'm not taking orders from you anymore.

1370
01:39:13,874 --> 01:39:17,335
- Officers, arrest these men!
- Wait, wait!

1371
01:39:17,460 --> 01:39:18,545
You can arrest us if you like.

1372
01:39:18,628 --> 01:39:21,256
You can throw us in prison and go back
to being blind, submissive slaves.

1373
01:39:21,381 --> 01:39:23,174
Or you can be real police officers,

1374
01:39:23,299 --> 01:39:25,468
and help us bring an end
to this absurd story.

1375
01:39:25,551 --> 01:39:27,720
What the fuck is he on about?

1376
01:39:27,803 --> 01:39:29,013
Fuck are you on about?

1377
01:39:29,138 --> 01:39:31,723
Have you ever wondered
why the crime rate in Sandford is so low?

1378
01:39:31,807 --> 01:39:35,602
- And yet the accident rate, it's so high?
- No. Yeah. What?

1379
01:39:35,727 --> 01:39:37,562
You've been brainwashed, Tony.

1380
01:39:37,646 --> 01:39:40,899
Brainwashed into naivety by an old man
with a murderous obsession.

1381
01:39:40,982 --> 01:39:45,903
- This is ridiculous.
- No, it's not, Dad. It's very unridiculous.

1382
01:39:45,987 --> 01:39:49,031
And it's only now that I'm starting to realize
how unridiculous it all is.

1383
01:39:49,156 --> 01:39:50,616
Silence, Danny!

1384
01:39:51,075 --> 01:39:53,869
- Think of your mother.
- Mum is dead, Dad.

1385
01:39:55,078 --> 01:39:58,456
For the first time in my life,
you know, I'm glad.

1386
01:39:58,581 --> 01:40:00,917
If she could see what you've become,

1387
01:40:01,000 --> 01:40:05,129
I think she'd probably kill herself
all over again.

1388
01:40:05,254 --> 01:40:06,797
Sorry, I am completely lost.

1389
01:40:06,922 --> 01:40:08,549
Sandford is a lie, Doris.

1390
01:40:08,674 --> 01:40:12,052
For the last 20 years, the village
has been controlled by Frank and the NWA.

1391
01:40:12,177 --> 01:40:14,596
They've lulled everyone
into thinking this is a perfect village

1392
01:40:14,680 --> 01:40:17,474
and killed anyone
who's threatened to change that.

1393
01:40:25,106 --> 01:40:27,191
I reckon he's got something there.

1394
01:40:28,692 --> 01:40:31,653
He says,
"He reckons you got something there."

1395
01:40:31,779 --> 01:40:32,988
I know.

1396
01:40:33,113 --> 01:40:36,324
You're not seriously gonna
believe this man, are you?

1397
01:40:36,449 --> 01:40:39,494
Are you? He isn't even from round here.

1398
01:40:43,456 --> 01:40:47,668
Maybe it's time to give it up, sir.

1399
01:40:49,378 --> 01:40:51,922
You incompetent flatfoots!

1400
01:41:01,055 --> 01:41:03,724
Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon
and hold everything down.

1401
01:41:03,808 --> 01:41:04,934
Fair enough.

1402
01:41:05,059 --> 01:41:07,061
Officers, let's go.

1403
01:41:08,062 --> 01:41:10,397
- What about Dad?
- He'll come round again.

1404
01:41:10,731 --> 01:41:12,524
Want anything from the shop?

1405
01:41:30,332 --> 01:41:31,500
- What you thinking?
- Well...

1406
01:41:31,583 --> 01:41:33,585
We should strike now,
while we've got the element of surprise.

1407
01:41:33,669 --> 01:41:35,462
Longer we wait,
more time they've got to mobilize.

1408
01:41:35,587 --> 01:41:38,340
I say we go in through the front entrance,
take the place aisle by aisle.

1409
01:41:38,423 --> 01:41:40,300
They won't be expecting that.

1410
01:41:40,925 --> 01:41:42,593
Very good. What he said.

1411
01:41:44,845 --> 01:41:48,057
My, my. Here come the fuzz.

1412
01:41:50,267 --> 01:41:53,061
- Maybe they're not here.
- Wait here.

1413
01:41:53,186 --> 01:41:56,690
- Don't go in on your own.
- Don't worry, he knows what he's doing.

1414
01:41:59,609 --> 01:42:01,236
Okay. They're in.

1415
01:42:01,361 --> 01:42:04,447
You deal with the store.
I'll deal with the trolley boy.

1416
01:42:13,789 --> 01:42:18,251
No, listen. Wait, wait, wait, Michael,
wait, listen to me. Listen, listen.

1417
01:42:18,460 --> 01:42:21,004
Is this what you really, really want?

1418
01:42:21,296 --> 01:42:22,422
Yarp.

1419
01:42:22,797 --> 01:42:24,006
Suit yourself.

1420
01:42:32,723 --> 01:42:34,391
Go, go, go.

1421
01:42:36,810 --> 01:42:38,895
Oh, come on.

1422
01:42:51,240 --> 01:42:53,075
Andy!

1423
01:42:55,827 --> 01:42:58,788
It's all right, Andy. It's just Bolognese!

1424
01:43:59,219 --> 01:44:01,179
- How's Lurch?
- He's in the freezer.

1425
01:44:01,304 --> 01:44:03,681
- Did you say, "Cool off"?
- No, I didn't say anything, actually.

1426
01:44:03,806 --> 01:44:05,474
Shame.

1427
01:44:05,558 --> 01:44:06,976
There was a bit earlier on that you missed

1428
01:44:07,059 --> 01:44:08,644
when I distracted him
with the cuddly monkey.

1429
01:44:08,727 --> 01:44:11,522
And then I said, "Playtime's over,"
and I hit him with the Peace Lily.

1430
01:44:11,647 --> 01:44:13,690
You're off the fucking chain!

1431
01:44:13,815 --> 01:44:17,277
- What's the situation?
- Two blokes and a fuckload of cutlery.

1432
01:44:17,402 --> 01:44:18,778
What do you reckon?

1433
01:44:22,156 --> 01:44:23,324
Idea.

1434
01:44:47,012 --> 01:44:48,514
Good work, everyone.

1435
01:44:58,273 --> 01:45:01,234
- Nice one, Doris.
- Nothing like a bit of girl on girl.

1436
01:45:03,945 --> 01:45:05,988
Fruit attack!

1437
01:45:06,781 --> 01:45:09,617
Can you handle this, Sergeant Fisher?
We're gonna go after the big boss.

1438
01:45:09,700 --> 01:45:11,618
We're on it, Sergeant.

1439
01:45:12,119 --> 01:45:13,912
- Danny, let's rock.
- Angel!

1440
01:45:14,037 --> 01:45:15,747
Don't go being a twat now.

1441
01:45:16,039 --> 01:45:18,291
I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.

1442
01:45:25,548 --> 01:45:27,091
- We should get down there.
- How?

1443
01:45:27,216 --> 01:45:29,593
Skip.

1444
01:45:35,557 --> 01:45:38,601
- Head them off?
- Fuck, yeah.

1445
01:45:49,903 --> 01:45:53,532
- I'll drive.
- Shotgun! Punch that shit!

1446
01:46:37,364 --> 01:46:38,907
Bang! Bang!

1447
01:46:44,871 --> 01:46:46,205
Swan!

1448
01:47:05,640 --> 01:47:06,724
Swan!

1449
01:47:34,249 --> 01:47:38,420
Stay back! Or the ginger nut gets it!

1450
01:47:40,338 --> 01:47:42,924
You little fucker!

1451
01:48:18,707 --> 01:48:23,002
Get out of my village!

1452
01:48:28,966 --> 01:48:31,468
It's not your village anymore.

1453
01:48:48,317 --> 01:48:50,152
- You did good, kid.
- Ta.

1454
01:48:50,235 --> 01:48:52,487
- What's your name?
- Aaron A. Aaronson.

1455
01:48:52,905 --> 01:48:54,364
Sorry?

1456
01:48:56,324 --> 01:49:02,955
Angel!

1457
01:49:20,847 --> 01:49:22,181
It's over, Danny.

1458
01:49:23,599 --> 01:49:24,767
It's over.

1459
01:49:28,604 --> 01:49:33,859
This really hurts.

1460
01:49:33,942 --> 01:49:39,364
I'm going to need some ice-cream.

1461
01:49:39,447 --> 01:49:42,617
Yeah, well, don't worry.
There's plenty of ice-cream at the station.

1462
01:49:42,700 --> 01:49:43,868
Isn't that right, Danny?

1463
01:49:45,119 --> 01:49:46,245
Stay back!

1464
01:49:46,370 --> 01:49:49,790
- Pack it in, Frank, you silly bastard!
- Now, now.

1465
01:49:50,124 --> 01:49:51,875
We don't want any more bloodshed.

1466
01:49:51,959 --> 01:49:54,711
Frank, this whole thing started
because you lost somebody you loved.

1467
01:49:54,795 --> 01:49:56,713
Don't expect me to believe
you'd let it end the same way.

1468
01:49:56,796 --> 01:49:59,340
I'll tell you how this is gonna end!

1469
01:50:41,921 --> 01:50:44,090
I feel like I should say something smart.

1470
01:50:44,173 --> 01:50:46,967
You don't have to say anything at all.

1471
01:50:58,853 --> 01:51:02,273
Satisfactory conclusion
to the whole operation.

1472
01:51:02,357 --> 01:51:06,360
Now, my perfect Sunday would begin with...

1473
01:51:11,698 --> 01:51:13,116
What do you say, Nicholas?

1474
01:51:13,200 --> 01:51:15,410
We... We...
We have been trying to reach you for days.

1475
01:51:15,535 --> 01:51:18,663
- Yeah, well, I've been kind of busy.
- We need you back.

1476
01:51:18,788 --> 01:51:22,583
The figures have gone a little squiffy
in your absence, it has to be said.

1477
01:51:22,709 --> 01:51:23,793
Come back to London.

1478
01:51:23,876 --> 01:51:27,129
Sandford's hardly a fitting place
for such an exceptional officer.

1479
01:51:27,213 --> 01:51:29,923
Yeah, well, the thing is, sir.

1480
01:51:30,883 --> 01:51:32,634
I kind of like it here.

1481
01:51:32,718 --> 01:51:36,096
Besides, we have to do
a considerable amount of paperwork.

1482
01:52:06,499 --> 01:52:07,583
- Fuck's sake, Nick, this is gonna take ages.
- Yeah, it's gonna take all night.

1483
01:52:07,583 --> 01:52:08,584
Well, good job
we've got the manpower, Andy?

1484
01:52:08,918 --> 01:52:13,171
Well, official vocab guidelines state
that we say "staffing," not "manpower,"

1485
01:52:13,255 --> 01:52:15,924
'cause "manpower's" a bit sexist.

1486
01:52:18,343 --> 01:52:20,136
You don't mind a bit
of manpower do you, Doris?

1487
01:52:20,261 --> 01:52:22,555
Oh, dirty bastard!

1488
01:52:24,348 --> 01:52:25,474
Andy!

1489
01:52:25,599 --> 01:52:27,601
You cheeky fucker!

1490
01:52:36,359 --> 01:52:38,278
You know what you are?

1491
01:52:39,112 --> 01:52:40,780
A bloody busybody!

1492
01:52:46,619 --> 01:52:48,871
No!

1493
01:53:03,384 --> 01:53:04,552
Oh, God, no!

1494
01:53:27,823 --> 01:53:29,074
Danny!

1495
01:53:31,577 --> 01:53:32,703
Danny!

1496
01:53:33,745 --> 01:53:34,913
Oh, God.

1497
01:53:34,996 --> 01:53:36,623
Hold on, Danny, just hold on.

1498
01:53:36,748 --> 01:53:39,459
Hold on, it's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be fine.

1499
01:53:40,084 --> 01:53:42,837
Just hang on, hang on!

1500
01:53:43,337 --> 01:53:45,131
Everything's gonna be fine.

1501
01:53:46,424 --> 01:53:48,175
Everything's gonna be fine.

1502
01:53:48,676 --> 01:53:50,469
Everything's gonna be fine.

1503
01:53:51,261 --> 01:53:53,263
Everything's gonna be just fine.

1504
01:54:31,965 --> 01:54:33,008
Hope these are okay.

1505
01:54:36,136 --> 01:54:39,514
Yeah. They're lovely.

1506
01:54:49,064 --> 01:54:52,234
- Any officers near the church?
- Go ahead, Doris.

1507
01:54:52,317 --> 01:54:54,027
Chief, we've had a report
of some hippy types

1508
01:54:54,152 --> 01:54:56,571
messing with the recycling bins
at the supermarket.

1509
01:54:56,655 --> 01:54:58,365
- Leave it with us.
- Righto.

1510
01:54:58,490 --> 01:55:02,577
Sergeant Butterman,
little hand says it's time to rock and roll.

1511
01:55:02,827 --> 01:55:04,370
Bring the noise.