1 00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:16,140 Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die, 2 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,098 take him and cut him out to little stars - 3 00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,885 and he'll make the face of heaven so fine. 4 00:01:21,985 --> 00:01:25,000 And all the world will be in love with the night - 5 00:01:27,581 --> 00:01:31,448 and... make the face of heaven so fine that all... 6 00:01:31,548 --> 00:01:33,770 the world will be in love.... 7 00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:41,294 ...all the world will be in love with the night... 8 00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:44,019 Excuse me! Excuse me! 9 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,895 - Woody, will you turn that down? - Sorry, I can't hear you! 10 00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,898 Turn the noise down! 11 00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:02,859 Sorry, did you say something? 12 00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:06,735 I'm trying to study but it's impossible with that racket going on! 13 00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:08,478 It's not racket, that's Mystical! 14 00:02:08,578 --> 00:02:10,615 Whatever it is, will you please switch it off? 15 00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:13,937 - What's it worth? - The gratitude of a music lover? 16 00:02:15,660 --> 00:02:18,298 Alright, I turn it off! 17 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:22,247 If you flash me! Show me what girls are all about! 18 00:02:22,347 --> 00:02:23,255 You are a pig! 19 00:02:24,419 --> 00:02:27,092 - Anyway, I've seen them before! - What! You have not! 20 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:37,894 Have now! 21 00:02:43,739 --> 00:02:45,730 Good morning, Mr. Fluffy. 22 00:02:47,019 --> 00:02:50,329 - Woody, are you up yet? - Oh, yeah! 23 00:02:58,259 --> 00:03:01,409 - Good morning, Daddy! - I have some mail for you, princess. 24 00:03:01,978 --> 00:03:03,650 It's from Yale! 25 00:03:08,778 --> 00:03:10,405 I have an interview next week! 26 00:03:10,505 --> 00:03:12,657 I applied for early action for you, honey! 27 00:03:12,858 --> 00:03:14,246 My precious little girl are going to Yale! 28 00:03:14,346 --> 00:03:15,930 I have to get through the interview first, mother! 29 00:03:16,138 --> 00:03:19,608 - You won't let us down, never have. - Never has. 30 00:03:20,538 --> 00:03:22,574 - Isn't it exciting, Ted? - It's very excititing, Katherine. 31 00:03:22,778 --> 00:03:25,531 - Are you excited? - I am. 32 00:03:26,218 --> 00:03:30,336 I'm so excited I could yell it from the roof tops! 33 00:03:34,538 --> 00:03:36,168 Thank you, mother! 34 00:03:41,159 --> 00:03:41,900 Everything OK back there? 35 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:42,517 No problem, honey. 36 00:03:42,617 --> 00:03:45,097 Just searing off a couple of finger prints. 37 00:03:45,197 --> 00:03:46,496 Carry on, my good woman. 38 00:03:50,057 --> 00:03:52,571 - Big game's coming up soon, son? - Yep! 39 00:03:53,617 --> 00:03:57,496 Coach says all the big college scouts gonna be at the game. 40 00:03:57,596 --> 00:03:58,397 Yeah, I know. 41 00:03:58,497 --> 00:04:02,934 Speciality of the House! I call it 'Eggs What the Heck' 42 00:04:03,897 --> 00:04:07,333 So much of fine cuisine is down to presentation, don't you think, son? 43 00:04:07,537 --> 00:04:09,289 Oh yeah, absolutely! 44 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:14,088 You'll be the first member of my family to go to college. 45 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:17,812 He'll be the first member of your family to go to freaking school! 46 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,809 That's true. 47 00:04:20,337 --> 00:04:24,568 But son, if thing's don't work out, there'll always be a job for you - 48 00:04:24,776 --> 00:04:27,290 with Stan the Man at Spatula World. 49 00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:36,545 - To me, the greatest living American should... 50 00:04:36,645 --> 00:04:38,125 have individual accomplishments - 51 00:04:38,336 --> 00:04:42,295 but also have a lasting influcence on America and with the world. 52 00:04:42,496 --> 00:04:47,251 And that is why after careful consideration my candidate... 53 00:04:56,576 --> 00:04:58,612 - Yo, what's up boy? - Hi, Horse! 54 00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:03,891 - Nice grab, Horse! How's it hanging? - To the floor, my friend! 55 00:05:04,336 --> 00:05:06,610 What say we shift this baby into warp drive, huh? 56 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,601 I want you to feel the wind blowing through... 57 00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:11,170 the hair of your fine muscular ass! 58 00:05:13,815 --> 00:05:15,533 Hit it please! 59 00:05:42,935 --> 00:05:44,607 Well, looky here! 60 00:05:44,815 --> 00:05:47,759 Is that not a pencil necked virigin girl I see before me? 61 00:05:47,859 --> 00:05:48,773 I do believe it is. 62 00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:53,224 She's standing dangerously close to a vast pool of water. 63 00:05:53,324 --> 00:05:55,934 For a smart girl, that ain't so smart. 64 00:06:37,053 --> 00:06:38,327 Thank you! 65 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,883 OK, just keep walking. 66 00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,085 No one will notice. 67 00:06:48,893 --> 00:06:50,963 Who wants cotton candy? 68 00:06:55,533 --> 00:06:58,252 Hey, Nell, I love what you've done with your hair! 69 00:06:58,453 --> 00:07:01,013 Thanks, Glixen. 70 00:07:11,893 --> 00:07:14,964 Three, two one... 71 00:07:15,732 --> 00:07:17,165 Hey, watch it! 72 00:07:20,292 --> 00:07:21,611 - Harry! - What's up baby! 73 00:07:21,812 --> 00:07:23,450 Wow wow, people around! 74 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,849 Nice look! 75 00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:35,845 Special needs boy and his muse, the lovely Clamydia. 76 00:07:36,052 --> 00:07:37,724 My name's Breanna, you geek! 77 00:07:39,012 --> 00:07:40,904 By the way, sorry about this morning. 78 00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,607 That puddle just... showed up in front of us! 79 00:07:42,812 --> 00:07:46,043 Oh, that's OK, please don't apologize it, I understand. 80 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:50,048 While archetypal outsiders such as myself... 81 00:07:50,148 --> 00:07:53,606 rarely fit comfortably into high school environements - 82 00:07:53,812 --> 00:07:57,008 this is as good as your life will get. 83 00:07:57,211 --> 00:08:00,038 The big football star and his vacuous cheerleader girlfriend... 84 00:08:00,138 --> 00:08:00,840 Head cheerleader. 85 00:08:02,611 --> 00:08:05,242 Because, let's face it. The old gray matter... 86 00:08:05,342 --> 00:08:07,526 ain't exactly top level, is it Woodster? 87 00:08:07,731 --> 00:08:11,167 So you end up with a job with your dad - 88 00:08:11,371 --> 00:08:13,726 and probably marry Breanna here. 89 00:08:13,931 --> 00:08:17,810 But soon you start drinking to numb this aching feeling you have inside. 90 00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:20,203 Fast forward a few years and you're a drunk... 91 00:08:20,303 --> 00:08:22,641 fat guy at a bar talking about the good old days. 92 00:08:22,851 --> 00:08:26,526 While your little wife whose looks have gone to the dodo - 93 00:08:26,731 --> 00:08:29,652 is prepping up her self esteem with squalid... 94 00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:33,125 sexual encounters with your friends behind your back. 95 00:08:34,891 --> 00:08:37,563 - What friends? - I'm guessing most of them. 96 00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:40,449 Have a good day. 97 00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:44,791 Class, please turn to page 488. Paragraph... 98 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,644 demarked 'Early history' - 99 00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:50,320 which reads: 'Combined with the study of mankind - 100 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,840 in all its aspects, especially human culture - 101 00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:57,865 we are therefore examining that society through... 102 00:08:57,965 --> 00:09:00,888 the exploration of classical structure.' 103 00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:06,439 Now, do not forget to make full use of your abstract database. 104 00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:09,232 And class, please make sure the references of... 105 00:09:09,332 --> 00:09:11,440 the source material include the internet. 106 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,318 That's OK for now but - 107 00:09:19,529 --> 00:09:23,442 you might want to omit that page from your reference list. 108 00:09:23,649 --> 00:09:27,119 Now, Mr. Zbornak will be taking your field trip this week. 109 00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:32,519 I tried on the most amazing dress for the dance. 110 00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:37,359 Think Beyonce's wow-factor meets Gwen Stefani's outfit of individuality - 111 00:09:37,569 --> 00:09:40,003 with just a sprinkling of designer slut Aguilera. 112 00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:42,396 The whole thing's very Madonna... 113 00:09:42,496 --> 00:09:43,565 before she got old naturally. 114 00:09:43,769 --> 00:09:45,327 Sounds hot! 115 00:09:45,809 --> 00:09:48,112 Now, I think Armani would be good for you. 116 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:49,563 Stylish yet understated - 117 00:09:49,769 --> 00:09:52,488 so you look good but you don't distract attention from me. 118 00:09:54,889 --> 00:09:56,854 Mr Deanne! If it's not too much trouble? 119 00:09:56,954 --> 00:09:57,767 OK, just a minute! 120 00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:06,920 Take a look at this odd looking fella! 121 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:10,162 Texcatlipoca - 122 00:10:10,368 --> 00:10:13,333 the ancient Aztek god of sorcery. Associated... 123 00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:15,044 with the notion of destiny. 124 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,682 Tex here has an interesting resume: 125 00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:21,198 He was the god of night, lord of the smoking mirror. 126 00:10:21,608 --> 00:10:23,883 A shape shifter - 127 00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:26,678 a powerful SOB. 128 00:10:27,088 --> 00:10:30,967 Mr Deanne, do you think I might have your attention? 129 00:10:31,448 --> 00:10:34,997 Or does Mr. Horson have something particularly interesting to say? 130 00:10:35,288 --> 00:10:38,086 I'm betting on unlikely. 131 00:10:39,368 --> 00:10:41,629 OK, time is short, people. I want you to... 132 00:10:41,729 --> 00:10:43,883 pair off and take in the rest yourselves. 133 00:10:44,087 --> 00:10:46,317 Remember: research, 134 00:10:46,527 --> 00:10:47,880 analyze and... 135 00:10:48,087 --> 00:10:49,156 ...describe! 136 00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:50,846 Very nice. 137 00:10:54,647 --> 00:10:59,243 Mr Horson, you go with Glixen. Mr Deanne, you go with Miss Bedworth. 138 00:11:01,407 --> 00:11:03,477 Let's get your learn on. 139 00:11:05,287 --> 00:11:07,676 So, checked out any porno sites lately? 140 00:11:07,887 --> 00:11:09,951 I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. Let's... 141 00:11:10,051 --> 00:11:11,846 hope I don't breathe in any retard germs. 142 00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:15,323 Let's hope I don't get any pencil neck virgin disease. 143 00:11:15,423 --> 00:11:16,086 Get stuffed. 144 00:11:16,607 --> 00:11:17,303 I hate you! 145 00:11:17,403 --> 00:11:20,282 It's because you secretly want to have sex with me! 146 00:11:21,207 --> 00:11:23,357 When I do decide to surrender the flower of my womanhood - 147 00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:25,762 I've always imagined it to be with someone of my own species! 148 00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:28,764 There's is nobody else in your species, except maybe Glixen. 149 00:11:28,966 --> 00:11:30,466 You're such a moron. You really think... 150 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,139 the world evolves around rap music, football 151 00:11:32,239 --> 00:11:33,626 and hanging out with the right crowd? 152 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,843 You know, you make me sick, you think you are so different to everyone else. 153 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:38,604 Different from. 154 00:11:38,806 --> 00:11:41,923 You said 'Different to'. The correct phraseology is 'Different from'. 155 00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:44,355 Thanks for that information. You're no different... 156 00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,597 from any other geek with books instead of friends - 157 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,036 and you don't have to open your big fat mouth to correct me. 158 00:11:49,246 --> 00:11:51,123 - Neanderthal! - Spaz. 159 00:11:51,846 --> 00:11:54,201 I should pity you but I can't. I hate you too much. 160 00:11:54,406 --> 00:11:56,306 I rather cross my legs for the rest of the night... 161 00:11:56,406 --> 00:11:58,001 for everybody than to be anything like you! 162 00:11:59,446 --> 00:12:01,960 - Dito! - 'Dito'? 163 00:12:03,086 --> 00:12:04,041 Double dito! 164 00:12:04,246 --> 00:12:06,919 Double double dito times a thousand trillions! 165 00:12:30,645 --> 00:12:35,400 '...and forever more shall find her destiny to live alone no more.' 166 00:12:38,365 --> 00:12:40,595 Good night, Mr. Fluffy. 167 00:13:23,644 --> 00:13:25,441 Oh God, my head... 168 00:13:26,444 --> 00:13:28,674 I must be dreaming. Time to wake up. 169 00:13:29,524 --> 00:13:30,843 What was that? 170 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,117 Tits! 171 00:13:33,323 --> 00:13:36,281 I have tits. Two tits! 172 00:13:36,723 --> 00:13:40,762 This is the regular number of tits but for a guy? What's going on here? 173 00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:43,755 Oh my god, it's gone! 174 00:13:48,763 --> 00:13:50,640 This looks bad. If it's gone and I have tits - 175 00:13:52,363 --> 00:13:53,591 that means this must be a dream. 176 00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:57,080 A very very bad 'Now I have tits' dream. 177 00:14:02,683 --> 00:14:03,672 What is this? 178 00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:07,402 This isn't my room! 179 00:14:15,282 --> 00:14:16,761 We need to talk! 180 00:14:18,162 --> 00:14:20,915 Talk? She want's to talk? 181 00:14:22,002 --> 00:14:23,970 Let's talk about why I'm going through a drawer... 182 00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:26,200 full of underwear with the days of the week on them! 183 00:14:27,282 --> 00:14:28,954 Oh God! 184 00:14:32,642 --> 00:14:35,520 OK, now my pubes knows it Wednesday! 185 00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:45,151 It's tough enough getting these damn things off! 186 00:14:47,122 --> 00:14:50,273 How the hell does anyone get these things on? 187 00:14:54,242 --> 00:14:57,756 Ladies, looks like you and me is going au naturelle. 188 00:14:58,401 --> 00:15:00,835 Go away! 189 00:15:03,521 --> 00:15:05,318 Alright, coast is clear. 190 00:15:11,841 --> 00:15:13,559 Get off. 191 00:15:24,521 --> 00:15:26,193 Good morning! 192 00:15:26,881 --> 00:15:30,351 - Nell, is everything OK? - I didn't see you there! 193 00:15:31,401 --> 00:15:34,074 - Your oatmeal is on the table. - I'm in a hurry, gotta go. 194 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:38,399 Nonsense, now you sit down, it's the most important meal of the day. 195 00:15:38,601 --> 00:15:42,798 And oatmel is wonderful for promoting healthy and regular bowel movements. 196 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,753 That's cool if I want to take a dump the size of my head. 197 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,035 Excuse me? 198 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,232 Oatmeal's good, mummy. 199 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,831 Is this meat? 200 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,551 - You have oatmeal? - Are you shitting me? 201 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,758 - Porkmeat's good. - Eat up, son 202 00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:24,029 Jesus, I'm gonna puke. 203 00:16:36,679 --> 00:16:40,388 Golly, you must have been hungry. 204 00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:42,396 You need a second helping. You wait there, young lady! 205 00:16:52,239 --> 00:16:54,070 How's it going, pretty boy? 206 00:16:56,119 --> 00:16:57,313 Let's go! 207 00:16:58,079 --> 00:17:01,230 It will turn you into a big strong girl! 208 00:17:04,318 --> 00:17:06,115 Excuse me. 209 00:17:07,878 --> 00:17:09,357 See you later. 210 00:17:09,558 --> 00:17:12,914 Nell, aren't you forgetting something? 211 00:17:15,798 --> 00:17:19,188 Holy crap, look at the size of that thing! 212 00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:21,110 What thing? 213 00:17:21,318 --> 00:17:23,548 Gotta go mom, see you later. 214 00:17:26,358 --> 00:17:30,715 Hop in man, we got places to go, people to see, women to impregnate. 215 00:17:44,638 --> 00:17:45,753 You OK? 216 00:17:47,077 --> 00:17:48,271 Yeah, I'm fine! 217 00:17:49,357 --> 00:17:50,790 Really? 218 00:18:08,637 --> 00:18:11,197 The bitch stole my ride! 219 00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:21,788 - We're going a little fast? - You bet your sweet ass we are! 220 00:18:22,557 --> 00:18:24,434 I am going to die! 221 00:18:29,916 --> 00:18:32,080 Oh god, I'm getting on the bus. I haven't... 222 00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:33,670 been on the bus since 8th grade! 223 00:18:45,396 --> 00:18:47,148 Come on! 224 00:18:51,636 --> 00:18:53,786 Screw you assholes! 225 00:18:54,476 --> 00:18:56,990 That's no way for a young lady to talk! 226 00:18:57,196 --> 00:19:00,950 Sorry, I'm a bitch when I'm on the rag, you know what I'm saying? 227 00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:10,595 - Sorry! - Yeah, you too. 228 00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:17,869 And this dress is just amazing 229 00:19:19,835 --> 00:19:21,234 You! 230 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,731 What the hell have you done to me, witch lady? 231 00:19:23,831 --> 00:19:25,349 Get your hands off me, you bully! 232 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,184 God, you think I'm responsible for this? 233 00:19:27,284 --> 00:19:29,753 I certainly am not. And you're the one who knows everything. 234 00:19:29,995 --> 00:19:32,509 That does not include this! 235 00:19:32,715 --> 00:19:37,470 This is impossible. This can not happen! 236 00:19:40,315 --> 00:19:42,229 You better figure out how to get my damn body back. 237 00:19:42,329 --> 00:19:43,910 Trust me, there's nothing I would like more. 238 00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:46,868 You think I relish waking up another day with the Simpsons? 239 00:19:47,075 --> 00:19:48,429 Leave my parents out of this. 240 00:19:48,529 --> 00:19:51,512 And what is up with your mother? She never heard of volume control? 241 00:19:51,715 --> 00:19:54,786 Yak farmers in Tibet are praying for her to keep the volume down. 242 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,746 And her language, my goodness! 243 00:19:56,954 --> 00:20:00,071 My mother does not have a mole on her face the size of the White House. 244 00:20:00,274 --> 00:20:02,354 So she's got a problem with moles. Besides, 245 00:20:02,454 --> 00:20:04,108 it's not a mole, it's a beauty spot! 246 00:20:04,314 --> 00:20:07,829 I can spot that beauty from Wisconsin! 247 00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:10,590 Insensitive pig! 248 00:20:11,114 --> 00:20:15,027 I don't want to be a boy, OK? Especially I don't want to be you! 249 00:20:16,474 --> 00:20:19,830 No, no, no, don't cry, not here. 250 00:20:20,354 --> 00:20:25,109 Maybe it's just one of those 24 hour things. Like a head cold. 251 00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:29,668 Tomorrow we could be back to normal. 252 00:20:29,874 --> 00:20:32,786 Just try not to attract any unnecessary attention. 253 00:20:50,273 --> 00:20:52,833 Gross, I have to touch it? Ewww! 254 00:20:55,953 --> 00:20:59,912 I will never eat finger food from a buffet again for as long as I live. 255 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:10,751 Your homework was to prepare a speech on the greatest living American. 256 00:21:13,033 --> 00:21:15,187 I'm sorry I missed it but I was excused... 257 00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:17,390 from homework due to cheerleading practice. 258 00:21:17,752 --> 00:21:18,980 I see. And Nell? 259 00:21:23,512 --> 00:21:24,467 What? 260 00:21:24,672 --> 00:21:27,948 Your speech please. On the greatest living American? 261 00:21:36,872 --> 00:21:41,229 I think the greatest living American is... 262 00:21:44,672 --> 00:21:45,991 ...J-Lo. 263 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,704 - J-Lo? - You know, Jennifer Lopez? 264 00:21:49,912 --> 00:21:55,748 Singer, movie star. She had a thing with that dude from 'Pearl Harbor'. 265 00:21:55,952 --> 00:21:58,227 I know who J-Lo is now. 266 00:21:58,432 --> 00:22:01,410 I am just very interested to hear what you... 267 00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:04,825 perceive qualifies her for such a unique accolade. 268 00:22:06,351 --> 00:22:09,229 The thing about J-Lo is that... 269 00:22:09,431 --> 00:22:11,228 ...she's from the streets.. 270 00:22:12,111 --> 00:22:16,707 And now she's like this big movie star and... she's still really cool. 271 00:22:17,671 --> 00:22:20,583 She used to have a little, now she's got a lot. 272 00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:25,023 But she's still J-Lo from the block. And I think that's pretty damn great. 273 00:22:26,351 --> 00:22:31,106 And she's American. And she's a wife. 274 00:22:32,671 --> 00:22:33,990 I see. 275 00:22:38,711 --> 00:22:40,463 J-Lo? 276 00:22:40,671 --> 00:22:45,585 Pretty good, huh? It just flew right into my head. 277 00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:48,020 At least there's plenty of space for it to land. 278 00:22:48,230 --> 00:22:51,905 What is your problem? I happen to like J-Lo! She's a hot booty! 279 00:22:52,110 --> 00:22:54,256 You do not bestow an honor such as 'Greatest 280 00:22:54,356 --> 00:22:56,740 Living American' solely on the fact of a hot booty! 281 00:22:56,950 --> 00:23:01,023 I didn't! She also happen to have a terrific set of funbags! 282 00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:04,624 Woody Deanne, you're an idiot and a Philistine. 283 00:23:04,830 --> 00:23:08,379 Know what, I don't appreciate you calling me an idiot. 284 00:23:08,590 --> 00:23:10,239 And I don't know what that other thing is... 285 00:23:10,339 --> 00:23:12,026 but as sure as hell ain't one of them either. 286 00:23:22,510 --> 00:23:24,898 Hey Woody! 287 00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,145 What a lovely sight. Swill time at Getty Central. 288 00:23:32,669 --> 00:23:36,059 Dear God, now I have to eat with these creatures? 289 00:23:39,749 --> 00:23:41,780 My parents are going out tonight, maybe you... 290 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,825 wanna come over to discuss what you wanna wear 291 00:23:43,925 --> 00:23:45,009 for the homecoming dance? 292 00:23:45,109 --> 00:23:47,304 I have things to do. 293 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:51,548 What I meant was: we'd be alone. 294 00:23:52,269 --> 00:23:54,703 So maybe I might do that thing when I... 295 00:24:00,589 --> 00:24:04,343 - You filthy little slut! - You do that? 296 00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:09,660 Last week he begged me to do that! 297 00:24:11,388 --> 00:24:15,461 - So what is it, what do you do? - Get lost, you little spastic. 298 00:24:18,268 --> 00:24:21,943 I can not believe Woody turned down the chance to have sex with me tonight! 299 00:24:22,188 --> 00:24:24,543 Am I in like bizarro world? 300 00:24:24,788 --> 00:24:27,425 If I had Richard Wainwright sniffing around me, 301 00:24:27,525 --> 00:24:29,418 I wouldn't waste my time on Woody. 302 00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:30,902 It's not that simple Tiffany. 303 00:24:31,108 --> 00:24:34,544 Today football captain, tomorrow GQ Man of the Year. 304 00:24:34,788 --> 00:24:37,825 You need to plan these things! 305 00:24:38,028 --> 00:24:39,706 Personally I'd be relived if Horse and 306 00:24:39,806 --> 00:24:41,527 I didn't have sex. Sometimes I think it's 307 00:24:41,627 --> 00:24:42,848 the only reason he's with me. 308 00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:46,908 That is so not true Chanel. You have many fine qualities. 309 00:24:47,008 --> 00:24:48,181 Really? Like what? 310 00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:52,017 You have excellent taste in earrings. 311 00:24:52,947 --> 00:24:55,620 And your hair looks really good. 312 00:24:58,387 --> 00:25:00,901 And you're friends with me. Case closed. 313 00:25:08,987 --> 00:25:12,741 - Woodster! Come on in, my man. - How are you? 314 00:25:12,947 --> 00:25:15,461 Cool as frozen shit, homie. 315 00:25:16,067 --> 00:25:18,535 Yo, we have extra practice tonight, alright, don't forget! 316 00:25:20,707 --> 00:25:22,902 I'm in the mood to kick some serious ass! 317 00:25:23,107 --> 00:25:24,506 Oh yeah, me too! 318 00:25:24,707 --> 00:25:27,506 ...only I have a prior engagement that... 319 00:25:27,606 --> 00:25:30,543 conflicts with the whole ass kicking thing. 320 00:25:30,947 --> 00:25:33,016 Wait, we're a week away from the game against Lamont. 321 00:25:33,226 --> 00:25:36,662 Do you know what the coach will do to your nuts if you don't show up tonight? 322 00:25:36,866 --> 00:25:40,700 No, I'll tell you. He will grind them into dust. 323 00:25:41,586 --> 00:25:42,735 Nut dust. 324 00:25:42,946 --> 00:25:46,939 And the only kids you'd be able to have is the itsy-bitsy patter ones. 325 00:26:23,265 --> 00:26:24,744 Alright, here we go! 326 00:26:26,065 --> 00:26:27,180 Wood? 327 00:26:28,145 --> 00:26:29,737 Cut the ball, man! 328 00:26:36,225 --> 00:26:38,659 - Woody? - Sorry, coach. 329 00:26:42,345 --> 00:26:44,176 Alright, let's get this. 330 00:26:47,025 --> 00:26:48,060 Go! 331 00:26:52,145 --> 00:26:54,420 - Wood man, come on! - Wake up, boy! 332 00:26:55,465 --> 00:26:56,453 Sorry, coach. 333 00:27:01,544 --> 00:27:02,943 I got it! 334 00:27:10,344 --> 00:27:13,620 What the hell were you doing out there? You play like a damn woman! 335 00:27:13,824 --> 00:27:15,303 I'm a little pique. 336 00:27:16,144 --> 00:27:19,375 - It means off colour. - I know what 'picque' means! 337 00:27:19,584 --> 00:27:21,700 You listen to me, and you listen good! 338 00:27:22,144 --> 00:27:25,022 This homecoming game is gonna be the biggest game in those boys' lives. 339 00:27:25,224 --> 00:27:27,820 You may have a god given talent but I... 340 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,582 will not let you risk it. Do you hear me? 341 00:27:31,624 --> 00:27:32,773 Yes, coach! 342 00:27:34,224 --> 00:27:36,188 You get your shit together or you'll be... 343 00:27:36,288 --> 00:27:37,977 watching the game from the side lines! 344 00:27:42,103 --> 00:27:44,901 Don't let it bug you buddy, just hang in there! 345 00:27:45,583 --> 00:27:48,734 Look, you just hit a slump, just like a golfer. 346 00:27:48,943 --> 00:27:52,572 It doesn't matter how big you are, every now and again you lose a swing. 347 00:27:52,783 --> 00:27:57,015 So you keep working on your strokes and banging those balls. 348 00:27:58,743 --> 00:28:00,574 Do you wanna touch my helmet? 349 00:28:02,143 --> 00:28:04,762 My lucky helmet. It works for me, maybe it'll... 350 00:28:04,862 --> 00:28:07,092 do you the same. Go ahead, give it a rub! 351 00:28:27,982 --> 00:28:30,416 Oh man, this is crappy music! 352 00:28:41,662 --> 00:28:42,617 Loser! 353 00:28:42,822 --> 00:28:45,052 Yeah, you too and your mama! 354 00:28:50,622 --> 00:28:52,214 I heard about football practice. 355 00:28:52,422 --> 00:28:54,890 - Those boys are really rough. - I'm covered in bruises. 356 00:28:55,102 --> 00:28:58,651 I don't care about your bruises. If coach drops you my life is over. 357 00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:02,410 Why are you so worked up? It's only a game! 358 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,419 No, it's not only a game. It's football! 359 00:29:05,519 --> 00:29:07,417 Jesus, don't you get anything? 360 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:10,114 I get that clearly this is not a head cold 361 00:29:10,214 --> 00:29:12,649 Do you have any better theories, smart ass? 362 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,537 Look at you. What am I wearing? 363 00:29:17,781 --> 00:29:20,295 Chinos and a Oxford cotton button-down I found in the back of your closet. 364 00:29:20,501 --> 00:29:24,380 Which is exactly where it is meant to stay! 365 00:29:25,301 --> 00:29:26,780 Nonsense, you can't beat the classic look! 366 00:29:26,981 --> 00:29:28,679 My hair, you've made it all dorky! 367 00:29:28,779 --> 00:29:30,769 A center parting is very European looking. 368 00:29:30,981 --> 00:29:32,428 No, it is very dorky looking! 369 00:29:32,528 --> 00:29:35,133 Excuse me for taking a little pride in your appearance! 370 00:29:35,341 --> 00:29:39,095 You could have ruined my life, I look like a male version of you! 371 00:29:39,541 --> 00:29:42,160 As long as I'm stuck inside this disgusting... 372 00:29:42,260 --> 00:29:44,490 body, you'll just have to put up with it! 373 00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:48,451 Alright, if that's how you want it, sweet cheeks. 374 00:30:35,739 --> 00:30:37,377 Nice ass! 375 00:30:38,339 --> 00:30:41,092 You're looking fine, sugar! 376 00:30:41,459 --> 00:30:43,695 - What are you doing? - Protecting your modesty. 377 00:30:43,795 --> 00:30:45,399 You look like a common prostitute! 378 00:30:45,499 --> 00:30:47,078 Damn, I was going for a high class hooker! 379 00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:48,571 You can not walk into school like this! 380 00:30:48,779 --> 00:30:52,613 I can do whatever I want. Now get your hands off me or I'll scream. 381 00:31:19,098 --> 00:31:22,613 What are you doing? You're supposed to be Shakespeare. 382 00:31:30,178 --> 00:31:32,009 OK, here goes. 383 00:31:33,138 --> 00:31:35,015 Nice penis. 384 00:31:54,777 --> 00:31:57,655 Nothing like a bit of personal hygien. 385 00:32:07,617 --> 00:32:09,812 Well, it has to be done. 386 00:32:15,897 --> 00:32:17,728 Come on, think about it. 387 00:32:17,937 --> 00:32:20,451 And she's totally pretending to be pretty. 388 00:32:22,857 --> 00:32:24,848 - Hello, Woody. - Hello, Breanna. 389 00:32:25,057 --> 00:32:26,912 I have something I want to say to you. 390 00:32:27,012 --> 00:32:29,369 Let me guess: you're sorry about blowing me off. 391 00:32:29,697 --> 00:32:32,655 No. I'm afraid we can't see each other any more. 392 00:32:34,496 --> 00:32:36,168 Very funny, Woody. 393 00:32:36,376 --> 00:32:39,334 Well, I don't find you that attractive any more. 394 00:32:39,816 --> 00:32:42,694 You just look kind of plain. 395 00:32:44,256 --> 00:32:47,089 And don't worry about your moustache. Some guys are really into that shit. 396 00:32:49,176 --> 00:32:51,212 Suck on this, Woody Dean. 397 00:32:51,416 --> 00:32:53,054 I can't believe he said that to her! 398 00:32:53,256 --> 00:32:56,407 You can't really see the hairs anyway. 399 00:32:57,296 --> 00:32:58,411 What just happened? 400 00:32:58,616 --> 00:33:00,977 Seems you and your girlfriend just broke up. 401 00:33:01,077 --> 00:33:01,813 Commiserations. 402 00:33:02,456 --> 00:33:03,614 No! Me and Breanna? 403 00:33:03,714 --> 00:33:06,369 Breanna and I, but let's not quip over details. 404 00:33:07,936 --> 00:33:10,769 - Broke up with my girlfriend? - You'll get over it. 405 00:33:12,256 --> 00:33:14,326 Wanna go for a ride? 406 00:33:14,736 --> 00:33:16,851 I have to go, tonight's a big night for me. 407 00:33:18,175 --> 00:33:19,767 You too. 408 00:33:21,455 --> 00:33:25,414 Congratulations. Tonight's the night you finally get to lose it. 409 00:33:29,375 --> 00:33:30,728 Nicky! 410 00:33:46,895 --> 00:33:48,089 There you go, babe. 411 00:33:49,215 --> 00:33:50,807 Thanks. 412 00:33:52,015 --> 00:33:53,733 Nice... 413 00:33:54,615 --> 00:33:56,970 - ...trailer. - It's a dump. 414 00:33:57,175 --> 00:34:00,007 But... my folks are away... 415 00:34:00,734 --> 00:34:03,965 ...and we won't be disturbed. 416 00:34:10,574 --> 00:34:12,804 Never seen a chick drink like that before. 417 00:34:13,574 --> 00:34:16,771 My throat's a little dry. 418 00:34:19,294 --> 00:34:23,082 Maybe I could moisten it up a little. 419 00:34:26,094 --> 00:34:28,483 I can't. I need another beer. 420 00:34:30,254 --> 00:34:32,051 Sure. 421 00:34:40,973 --> 00:34:43,407 - You OK? - I'm fine thank you. 422 00:34:43,613 --> 00:34:46,219 You've been acting kind of weird lately. 423 00:34:46,319 --> 00:34:48,482 I think I know what's on your mind. 424 00:34:49,733 --> 00:34:52,327 - I don't think you do. - Let me guess. 425 00:34:52,973 --> 00:34:56,117 You think if you don't impress those scouts, 426 00:34:56,217 --> 00:34:59,013 you're gonna end up working with your dad 427 00:34:59,113 --> 00:35:00,253 in spatula world. 428 00:35:00,733 --> 00:35:01,768 What? 429 00:35:02,333 --> 00:35:07,123 I ain't stupid, Woody. Just let things fall into place. 430 00:35:07,893 --> 00:35:10,123 Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you. 431 00:35:13,973 --> 00:35:18,171 So you don't want to work with spatulas, what the heck? 432 00:35:25,972 --> 00:35:27,371 Not here. 433 00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:30,362 OK, let's go to the master bedroom. 434 00:35:33,932 --> 00:35:37,641 Let's get cracking baby, cause daddy's packing! 435 00:35:40,532 --> 00:35:43,569 Oh god, what was I thinking? This is so gay! 436 00:35:45,732 --> 00:35:47,165 What are you waiting for, baby? 437 00:35:47,692 --> 00:35:50,126 Daddy wants to see some flesh. 438 00:35:50,372 --> 00:35:53,887 He's gonna make me his bitch! Woody the bitch boy! 439 00:35:54,212 --> 00:35:56,965 Maybe you need a little help? 440 00:35:59,012 --> 00:36:00,491 I have to pee. 441 00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:01,363 Now? 442 00:36:01,572 --> 00:36:04,594 Yeah, I can feel I have to fricking go. So, you... 443 00:36:04,694 --> 00:36:05,530 get undressed - 444 00:36:05,731 --> 00:36:07,961 and don't start without me. 445 00:36:15,331 --> 00:36:16,605 Hey, come back! 446 00:36:23,366 --> 00:36:25,481 Not this shit again, man! 447 00:36:26,571 --> 00:36:30,622 It's very melodic. If you give it a chance you might learn to enjoy it. 448 00:36:34,211 --> 00:36:36,088 No. Still shit. 449 00:36:36,571 --> 00:36:38,482 Have you heard about that grease ball Nicky? 450 00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:43,360 She got it on last night. 451 00:36:47,810 --> 00:36:49,562 Did you guys hear? 452 00:36:50,130 --> 00:36:52,928 She did it in the trailer park. 453 00:36:55,450 --> 00:36:58,601 She probably didn't even know it was a trailer park. 454 00:37:07,410 --> 00:37:09,241 Woody, are you crying? 455 00:37:11,650 --> 00:37:13,322 What's wrong? 456 00:37:14,770 --> 00:37:16,567 I'm sorry. 457 00:37:16,970 --> 00:37:20,406 I just found out I lost my virginity in a trailer park. 458 00:37:29,649 --> 00:37:33,562 I gotta go. I got a class. 459 00:38:00,769 --> 00:38:03,078 Hey, do you think she might do it with me? 460 00:38:03,649 --> 00:38:06,038 No! Get lost. 461 00:38:14,808 --> 00:38:15,797 What? 462 00:38:18,448 --> 00:38:22,487 Don't worry. You had a great time. 463 00:38:23,448 --> 00:38:25,757 Trust me, you'll never forget it. 464 00:38:26,048 --> 00:38:27,720 How could you do this to me? 465 00:38:29,448 --> 00:38:33,236 I know you're not the best looking guy in the world but it's only sex. 466 00:38:33,968 --> 00:38:36,323 I wanted it to be special. 467 00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:41,039 Well, you started it.'A central parting is very european looking'. 468 00:38:41,248 --> 00:38:42,442 You lost me my girlfriend. 469 00:38:42,648 --> 00:38:45,606 I was saving it for the boy I fell in love with. 470 00:38:53,688 --> 00:38:55,962 Look, nothing happened, OK? 471 00:38:57,887 --> 00:38:59,878 - Really? - Really. 472 00:39:02,087 --> 00:39:04,062 That's not what Nicky is telling everyone. 473 00:39:04,162 --> 00:39:05,124 Well, Nicky is a liar. 474 00:39:06,247 --> 00:39:08,636 Try telling that to the entire world. 475 00:39:09,927 --> 00:39:12,760 How's it feel to be a cheap little slut? 476 00:39:16,847 --> 00:39:20,174 Looks like I have to have a talk with that son of a bitch, cause no one... 477 00:39:20,274 --> 00:39:21,045 calls us the sort. 478 00:39:35,127 --> 00:39:36,479 Pass the ball! 479 00:39:38,406 --> 00:39:40,795 Nicky, here's your ho! 480 00:39:43,206 --> 00:39:45,879 - Hey, I'm looking for you! - You found me, baby. 481 00:39:46,366 --> 00:39:48,357 What the hell did you say? 482 00:39:50,246 --> 00:39:51,281 Nothing. 483 00:39:51,926 --> 00:39:53,405 Oh really? 484 00:39:54,206 --> 00:39:56,674 But I wasn't 100 percent true. 485 00:39:57,926 --> 00:40:00,121 You greasy scumbag liar. 486 00:40:00,526 --> 00:40:03,359 And you've got a very dirty little mouth. 487 00:40:04,526 --> 00:40:06,005 Then again... 488 00:40:06,966 --> 00:40:08,604 ...I already knew that. 489 00:40:10,206 --> 00:40:12,561 - A little hellcat, ain't you? - Asshole! 490 00:40:15,886 --> 00:40:17,877 That's no way to treat a lady, mister! 491 00:40:18,086 --> 00:40:20,997 And what kind of word is 'ain't you'. It's wrong on so many levels. 492 00:40:21,285 --> 00:40:23,924 Why don't you tell everyone what really happened? 493 00:40:24,125 --> 00:40:26,195 - Tell them! - Nothing! Nothing happened! 494 00:40:26,405 --> 00:40:28,644 I think you owe this sweet, innocent, 495 00:40:28,744 --> 00:40:31,160 yet very attractive young lady an apology. 496 00:40:33,125 --> 00:40:34,604 Sorry. 497 00:40:35,685 --> 00:40:37,277 I'm sorry! 498 00:40:38,485 --> 00:40:39,554 Thanks. 499 00:40:45,685 --> 00:40:48,995 It's so much fun to hit someone. I'd like to punch him again. 500 00:40:52,205 --> 00:40:55,277 Easy champ. Doesn't mean I forgive you about screwing up about Breanna and I. 501 00:40:55,885 --> 00:40:57,364 Breanna and me. 502 00:40:59,805 --> 00:41:01,032 I'll try to fix things. 503 00:41:01,244 --> 00:41:03,963 What's the point? I'm a girl, remember? 504 00:41:05,324 --> 00:41:09,203 Jesus, what am I gonna do? Homecoming's next Friday. 505 00:41:09,724 --> 00:41:11,476 My life is a complete disaster. 506 00:41:11,684 --> 00:41:13,746 What were we doing before this happened? 507 00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:14,198 Arguing? 508 00:41:14,404 --> 00:41:16,679 - You always argue. - Not always. 509 00:41:17,924 --> 00:41:19,915 We were at the museum. 510 00:41:20,404 --> 00:41:25,319 - In front of that ugly Mexican dude. - Aztek. Texcatlipoca. 511 00:41:25,524 --> 00:41:29,233 - That's the guy. - He's the ancient god of sorcery. 512 00:41:40,284 --> 00:41:41,956 We close in 5 minutes, folks. 513 00:41:51,203 --> 00:41:52,018 OK, you go first. 514 00:41:52,118 --> 00:41:54,115 No, you go first, you have the biggest mouth. 515 00:41:55,563 --> 00:41:58,453 - Hi, how are you? - Is that the best you can do? 516 00:41:58,553 --> 00:42:00,463 He's a god, not your aunt Betsy. 517 00:42:00,563 --> 00:42:03,383 You may have got the impression that this... 518 00:42:03,483 --> 00:42:06,240 young fellow and I didn't like it each other. 519 00:42:07,803 --> 00:42:10,636 But let me tell you, that could not be any farther from the truth. 520 00:42:10,843 --> 00:42:15,200 That's right. Sure we were fighting but all friends fight, right? 521 00:42:15,403 --> 00:42:21,478 How could you not like Nell? She is really tidy and smart, way smart! 522 00:42:23,563 --> 00:42:26,679 Kinda cute, especially when she does that thing with her nose. 523 00:42:27,482 --> 00:42:28,756 We get along really well. 524 00:42:29,762 --> 00:42:32,879 - Yeah, we're actually very close. - Closest. 525 00:42:33,082 --> 00:42:34,310 Real homies. 526 00:42:34,522 --> 00:42:36,592 - To the end, bro. - Don't overdo it. 527 00:42:39,642 --> 00:42:43,271 Now that we've got that cleared up, here's what we're gonna do. 528 00:42:43,522 --> 00:42:45,478 We close our eyes, count to three - 529 00:42:45,682 --> 00:42:48,992 and when we open them up, we'll be back in our right bodies. 530 00:42:49,482 --> 00:42:50,881 If that's OK with you - 531 00:42:51,082 --> 00:42:56,002 which I'm sure it is, since this is just a big misunderstanding we can 532 00:42:56,102 --> 00:42:58,082 laugh about in years to come. 533 00:42:58,442 --> 00:42:59,670 Let's do it. 534 00:43:07,322 --> 00:43:08,390 One... 535 00:43:09,481 --> 00:43:10,994 ...two... 536 00:43:11,521 --> 00:43:12,840 ...three. 537 00:43:21,201 --> 00:43:23,192 Maybe he only speaks Mexican? 538 00:43:23,401 --> 00:43:26,074 So what are we gonna do next, buy him an enchilada? 539 00:43:27,601 --> 00:43:29,796 I had my heart set on Yale. 540 00:43:30,481 --> 00:43:32,711 No, please, not the tears, please? 541 00:43:34,761 --> 00:43:37,229 You think I wanna end up in my dad's spatula store? 542 00:43:37,441 --> 00:43:39,193 You don't know. 543 00:43:42,641 --> 00:43:43,835 Wait, wait! 544 00:43:45,281 --> 00:43:47,158 You beat up Nicky. 545 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,032 You have my body, my strength. 546 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,993 All I need to do is show you how to use it. 547 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:05,530 And we could study so you could get through my interview. 548 00:44:05,630 --> 00:44:05,860 Huh? 549 00:44:48,279 --> 00:44:49,394 Ready? 550 00:44:49,879 --> 00:44:52,029 As hard as you like. 551 00:44:56,119 --> 00:44:57,472 Come on. 552 00:45:13,839 --> 00:45:15,715 Once the sign is given - 553 00:45:15,918 --> 00:45:18,038 the center snaps the ball to the quarterback... 554 00:45:18,138 --> 00:45:20,036 and the game begins. Are you with me so far? 555 00:45:21,438 --> 00:45:22,951 The offence has a limited amount of time... 556 00:45:23,158 --> 00:45:25,547 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 557 00:45:25,758 --> 00:45:28,716 Thou art more lovely and more temperate. 558 00:45:28,918 --> 00:45:32,115 Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May. 559 00:45:32,318 --> 00:45:35,230 And summer's lease hath all too short a date. 560 00:45:35,798 --> 00:45:38,835 So, he's not actually saying that she's like a... 561 00:45:38,935 --> 00:45:42,033 summer's day? He say she is hot like a summer's day? 562 00:45:42,238 --> 00:45:44,069 Yeah, that's it exactly! 563 00:45:46,838 --> 00:45:48,788 Right, you know, I still can't imagine ever... 564 00:45:48,888 --> 00:45:50,797 actually saying something like that to someone. 565 00:45:51,598 --> 00:45:53,156 Feel like so uncool. 566 00:45:53,358 --> 00:45:55,022 Maybe you'd just have to meet the right... 567 00:45:55,122 --> 00:45:56,474 person to say that kind of stuff to. 568 00:45:56,677 --> 00:45:59,589 Or maybe I just don't wanna look like a doofus. 569 00:45:59,797 --> 00:46:03,472 Well, Shaky must really have liked that one. She must have been some babe. 570 00:46:03,677 --> 00:46:05,986 Actually, Shakespeare wrote this to a young man. 571 00:46:06,557 --> 00:46:09,549 - Shakespeare was a homo? - We don't know that exactly. 572 00:46:09,797 --> 00:46:11,526 You write a poem to a guy telling him... 573 00:46:11,626 --> 00:46:13,312 how hot he is and you don't know exactly? 574 00:46:13,517 --> 00:46:16,156 Gees, what do you have to do before you know exactly? 575 00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:18,917 Write an ode to a schlong? 576 00:46:19,317 --> 00:46:20,909 I think that's enough for today. 577 00:46:21,117 --> 00:46:24,029 The bard was a bender. Who would've though? 578 00:46:24,517 --> 00:46:26,030 See you tomorrow. 579 00:46:26,437 --> 00:46:27,756 Good night. 580 00:46:34,597 --> 00:46:36,275 Listen, I was wrong about your parents. They're... 581 00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:37,953 alright once you get used to your mom's language. 582 00:46:38,157 --> 00:46:39,987 Mom's pretty cool. 583 00:46:42,756 --> 00:46:44,633 Woody, can I ask you a question? 584 00:46:46,316 --> 00:46:47,510 Sure. 585 00:46:49,596 --> 00:46:51,393 In the morning... 586 00:46:52,956 --> 00:46:54,548 - Never mind. - What? 587 00:46:54,756 --> 00:46:56,587 - No, it's nothing really. - Go on. 588 00:46:56,796 --> 00:46:58,707 It's a little embarrasing but... 589 00:46:58,916 --> 00:47:01,476 ...every morning you... 590 00:47:03,196 --> 00:47:06,347 ...have this thing.... 591 00:47:08,396 --> 00:47:10,148 - The thing that you... - What? 592 00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:13,510 You know, every morning? 593 00:47:16,516 --> 00:47:19,826 - You mean the old boner. - That's not the word I would have used. 594 00:47:20,036 --> 00:47:21,488 Boy, do I miss that guy. 595 00:47:21,588 --> 00:47:25,234 I'm sure you do. What I'd like to know: how can I get rid of it? 596 00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:28,074 Only one way I know of. 597 00:47:29,155 --> 00:47:31,350 That's disgusting... 598 00:47:31,755 --> 00:47:33,154 ...and there's got to be another way, right? 599 00:47:35,555 --> 00:47:38,991 Well, there is one thing that I do in case of emergencies.... 600 00:47:39,235 --> 00:47:42,193 ...sort of lets the air out of the old tire, if you know what I'm saying. 601 00:47:42,955 --> 00:47:47,506 First I close my eyes, and I think of you. 602 00:47:50,235 --> 00:47:52,829 - Works every the time. - Good night. 603 00:47:53,035 --> 00:47:54,309 See ya! 604 00:48:09,354 --> 00:48:13,347 - Hey, you want one? - No, thanks. 605 00:48:15,274 --> 00:48:19,187 You've had it quiet up there tonight. Are you OK? 606 00:48:20,354 --> 00:48:22,001 Yeah, I was just studying with Nell. 607 00:48:22,101 --> 00:48:24,552 Is that what you young people are calling it these days? 608 00:48:24,954 --> 00:48:28,105 - Nell's not that kind of girl. - I know. 609 00:48:28,594 --> 00:48:29,913 She's a good kid. 610 00:48:30,874 --> 00:48:34,050 You know, way back, her dad Ted and I used... 611 00:48:34,150 --> 00:48:37,188 to hang out together. He was a good guy, Ted. 612 00:48:37,874 --> 00:48:39,193 He still is. 613 00:48:40,994 --> 00:48:42,712 I mean, as far as I know. 614 00:48:43,594 --> 00:48:45,107 What ever happened between you two? 615 00:48:45,314 --> 00:48:50,387 Nell's mom, Katherine, I guess. She didn't really approve. 616 00:48:51,793 --> 00:48:55,069 We weren't her kind of people. 617 00:48:56,913 --> 00:48:58,232 Good night, son. 618 00:48:59,233 --> 00:49:01,701 Good night, dad. 619 00:49:10,673 --> 00:49:12,584 Oh god, she's crying. 620 00:49:16,273 --> 00:49:17,672 Chanel? 621 00:49:19,033 --> 00:49:20,625 Are you OK? 622 00:49:22,513 --> 00:49:24,151 Oh crap... 623 00:49:27,672 --> 00:49:29,151 What's wrong? 624 00:49:29,512 --> 00:49:33,391 It's about Harry. He's seeing some other girl. 625 00:49:34,232 --> 00:49:36,223 No, he wouldn't do that. 626 00:49:36,912 --> 00:49:40,666 Well, how come I saw him with his tongue stuck down her throat. 627 00:49:42,072 --> 00:49:43,869 Did you see who it was? 628 00:49:44,192 --> 00:49:48,902 No, they were in his car. But I saw what they were doing clear enough. 629 00:49:50,512 --> 00:49:53,504 Why are guys such jerks? 630 00:49:56,552 --> 00:50:01,068 Why am I asking you, you know less about guys than anybody on the planet. 631 00:50:03,592 --> 00:50:04,741 I'm sorry. 632 00:50:04,952 --> 00:50:07,591 - I didn't mean that. - You're right. 633 00:50:07,792 --> 00:50:09,907 What do I know about guys? 634 00:50:12,231 --> 00:50:16,110 I was so stupid. I know how Horse is. 635 00:50:17,671 --> 00:50:20,105 Why do you go out with them? 636 00:50:21,551 --> 00:50:26,067 Cause when I started at Westdale I felt invisible. 637 00:50:26,271 --> 00:50:30,628 And then I started going out with Horse and I became friends - 638 00:50:30,831 --> 00:50:33,205 with Breanna and Tiffany and Woody and... 639 00:50:33,305 --> 00:50:35,905 everyone. And then people started to notice me. 640 00:50:37,311 --> 00:50:39,381 And I liked that. 641 00:50:41,191 --> 00:50:45,104 So, I guess I'm just afraid of feeling invisible again. 642 00:50:47,151 --> 00:50:51,144 You know I think that a lot more people feel that way than you realize. 643 00:50:51,831 --> 00:50:53,502 You do. 644 00:50:54,190 --> 00:50:57,626 You go your own way no matter what anyone thinks. 645 00:50:59,630 --> 00:51:01,746 I admire you, Nell. 646 00:51:08,870 --> 00:51:11,314 And this is Mr. Stinky, you have to say hello. 647 00:51:11,414 --> 00:51:14,183 Why did you bring that pencil neck to our sleepover? 648 00:51:16,270 --> 00:51:17,464 Nell's OK. 649 00:51:17,670 --> 00:51:20,264 She just wants to hang, right? 650 00:51:21,470 --> 00:51:24,109 Carey told me we're all going in our jammies. 651 00:51:28,630 --> 00:51:31,190 I see you finally seen the errors of your geekish ways? 652 00:51:31,470 --> 00:51:33,779 I have. This girl just wants to have fun. 653 00:51:37,309 --> 00:51:39,425 OK. OK! Let's get to our PJ's! 654 00:51:44,029 --> 00:51:45,257 Oh man! 655 00:51:45,909 --> 00:51:48,503 Life is such a bitch. 656 00:51:52,069 --> 00:51:56,221 Lock target in 5 and will you check out that ass! 657 00:51:56,869 --> 00:51:57,858 What about Chanel? 658 00:52:00,549 --> 00:52:01,504 No, don't see her. 659 00:52:01,709 --> 00:52:03,301 Think about it Harry - 660 00:52:03,509 --> 00:52:06,143 are you willing to betray the love of a good... 661 00:52:06,243 --> 00:52:08,822 woman for the cheap thrill of a one night stand? 662 00:52:13,589 --> 00:52:17,103 You crack me up, you know that boy. 663 00:52:17,308 --> 00:52:19,981 You were always into the 'faithful' but I'm the Horse - 664 00:52:20,188 --> 00:52:22,543 and Horse people knows of no such boundaries. And plus - 665 00:52:22,748 --> 00:52:26,866 at night I'm a locked target 666 00:52:28,388 --> 00:52:32,176 You know what happens. A few drinks, quality control goes out the window - 667 00:52:32,388 --> 00:52:34,153 and before you know it, you're sucking... 668 00:52:34,253 --> 00:52:36,017 face with some swill muncher from downtown. 669 00:52:36,228 --> 00:52:39,379 Or worse still. I end up here with you - 670 00:52:39,588 --> 00:52:42,182 drunk on some dark street telling you I love you. 671 00:52:43,068 --> 00:52:45,741 And you know me doesn't want that to happen, homie. 672 00:52:46,068 --> 00:52:47,979 Let's go to a party. 673 00:52:52,011 --> 00:52:53,251 So Breanna, you're not seeing Woody anymore? 674 00:52:53,351 --> 00:52:53,768 That is so over. 675 00:52:53,868 --> 00:52:56,428 Such a shame. I mean, you guys were the perfect couple. 676 00:52:57,188 --> 00:52:59,337 Duh. I was only seeing him because he's the football captain. 677 00:53:00,187 --> 00:53:02,940 Without me, he's just another dumb jock with his brains in his shorts. 678 00:53:03,147 --> 00:53:06,696 Which is convenient because not much else is going on down there. 679 00:53:17,867 --> 00:53:20,335 Loser! Drink up, man! 680 00:53:27,736 --> 00:53:28,940 Manicure, pedicure, face masks. Are we done yet? 681 00:53:30,267 --> 00:53:34,226 Nell, I couldn't help noticing that you're a little on the hairy side. 682 00:53:37,827 --> 00:53:38,782 Down below. 683 00:53:40,107 --> 00:53:44,463 You've got sort of a rainforest thing going on. 684 00:53:44,666 --> 00:53:47,658 You're not supposed to be bushy? 685 00:53:48,906 --> 00:53:51,739 ´- We've all gone totally latino. - Totally. 686 00:53:52,346 --> 00:53:53,301 Really? 687 00:53:53,506 --> 00:53:55,303 You should too. 688 00:53:55,946 --> 00:53:57,857 You know, we could do it for you right now. 689 00:53:59,146 --> 00:54:00,784 Latino. 690 00:54:01,786 --> 00:54:03,617 What the hell, let's do it! 691 00:54:04,826 --> 00:54:07,021 OK girls, we've got a green light on the Brazilian wax. 692 00:54:07,226 --> 00:54:09,660 Tiffany, bring me scissors and depilatory strips. 693 00:54:09,866 --> 00:54:12,938 Chanel, I'm gonna need towels and hot water. 694 00:54:13,146 --> 00:54:17,424 Nell, sit back, relax and do exactly... 695 00:54:26,505 --> 00:54:27,938 One more, give me one more! 696 00:54:33,825 --> 00:54:35,304 Bite down on this. 697 00:54:36,145 --> 00:54:37,737 On three. One... 698 00:54:38,025 --> 00:54:39,697 Maybe this is a bad idea. 699 00:54:42,625 --> 00:54:44,820 Did I say you I love you, man? 700 00:54:45,945 --> 00:54:47,901 I really do love you, man. 701 00:54:48,465 --> 00:54:52,174 You're like... my... twin brother. 702 00:54:53,585 --> 00:54:57,214 You're white but you're my twin brother. 703 00:55:01,825 --> 00:55:04,339 Man, this is some kind of brazilian. 704 00:55:07,224 --> 00:55:08,896 How are you feeling? 705 00:55:10,344 --> 00:55:12,016 A little better. 706 00:55:13,744 --> 00:55:16,656 - How much did you drink last night? - I don't know. 707 00:55:16,904 --> 00:55:21,295 I just remember feeling unusually happy and having a really good time - 708 00:55:21,504 --> 00:55:25,019 and then like somebody picked up the room and started spinning it. 709 00:55:25,744 --> 00:55:27,143 I don't know, I'm an idiot. 710 00:55:27,344 --> 00:55:31,622 Think of it as a rite of passage. Go easy next time. 711 00:55:34,024 --> 00:55:35,457 Thanks for taking care of me. 712 00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:42,819 See you after lunch. We have stuff to do today. 713 00:55:42,919 --> 00:55:43,496 Yeah, I know. 714 00:55:46,944 --> 00:55:50,697 Drop back, pump it and then throw the ball. 715 00:55:52,543 --> 00:55:54,056 Alright, I can do that. 716 00:55:57,823 --> 00:55:59,256 No, you're telegraphing, you're way telegraphing. 717 00:55:59,463 --> 00:56:01,499 Watch me behind me how I do. 718 00:56:04,943 --> 00:56:06,899 - What is it? - What's what? 719 00:56:07,303 --> 00:56:09,692 That's sticking me in my ass. 720 00:56:11,103 --> 00:56:12,695 We're meant to be playing football. 721 00:56:12,903 --> 00:56:16,418 It's not my fault. I'm sorry. It's your thing, not mine. 722 00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:17,791 Yeah, but you're behind the wheel. 723 00:56:17,891 --> 00:56:19,262 I guess that means you find me attractive. 724 00:56:19,463 --> 00:56:22,500 No actually, that means you find me attractive. 725 00:56:22,703 --> 00:56:25,137 Let's not read too much into it, OK. This thing finds anything attractive. 726 00:56:25,343 --> 00:56:27,100 That is such a guy thing to say. 727 00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:29,382 Can we just keep playing football, please? 728 00:56:30,063 --> 00:56:32,622 Sure, as long as you keep my dick out of your butt. 729 00:57:06,742 --> 00:57:09,461 Ah, came through the windows! 730 00:57:09,742 --> 00:57:12,539 One of the many skills I've acquired lately. 731 00:57:13,101 --> 00:57:15,104 Keep our voices down. If my mom knows 732 00:57:15,204 --> 00:57:17,891 I have a boy in my room she'd spontaneously combust. 733 00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:20,376 I'm trying to settle what to wear for your interview. 734 00:57:20,581 --> 00:57:22,890 Navy suit, white blouse and sensible shoes. 735 00:57:23,101 --> 00:57:25,092 You don't think something a little hotter? 736 00:57:25,741 --> 00:57:27,697 It's an interview... 737 00:57:30,341 --> 00:57:34,300 ´- You're joking. - At least something I can control. 738 00:57:35,581 --> 00:57:39,176 I've been thinking. While we're like this - 739 00:57:39,381 --> 00:57:40,979 I wonder if it would make sense if... 740 00:57:41,079 --> 00:57:42,930 we could go to the Homecoming dance together. 741 00:57:43,141 --> 00:57:47,017 Not only because, well, who else would we go with? I don't wanna get 742 00:57:47,117 --> 00:57:49,001 stuck with pencil neck all night. 743 00:57:49,101 --> 00:57:51,569 It wouldn't be a date. 744 00:57:54,461 --> 00:57:57,850 - I'd like that. - Great. It's a date. 745 00:57:58,420 --> 00:58:00,536 A non-date date. 746 00:58:00,740 --> 00:58:03,334 Nell, wash hands! Dinner! 747 00:58:03,540 --> 00:58:05,451 My cue to go. 748 00:58:08,060 --> 00:58:09,778 Not a real date. 749 00:58:13,340 --> 00:58:15,137 It's alright! I'm OK! 750 00:58:19,900 --> 00:58:21,618 I will be kinda late tomorrow. 751 00:58:22,660 --> 00:58:24,890 Kind of. 752 00:58:27,100 --> 00:58:29,091 Kind of late tomorrow. 753 00:58:30,180 --> 00:58:32,489 What is with you at the moment? Ted? 754 00:58:33,300 --> 00:58:35,814 Sometimes I feel as though I don't know who you are anymore. 755 00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:38,454 She's growing up, Katherine. 756 00:58:42,259 --> 00:58:46,855 So, are you going to tell me what you're doing or is it a secret? 757 00:58:47,899 --> 00:58:50,333 It's no secret, I'm studying with Woody. 758 00:58:50,699 --> 00:58:51,654 Again? 759 00:58:51,979 --> 00:58:53,492 Yeah, you've got a problem with that? 760 00:59:00,259 --> 00:59:03,012 If you want to waste your valuable time it's your affair. 761 00:59:03,219 --> 00:59:04,732 Who says I'm wasting my time? 762 00:59:06,059 --> 00:59:07,572 Oh Nell, you only have to look at the boy. 763 00:59:08,139 --> 00:59:09,288 What's wrong with him? 764 00:59:09,499 --> 00:59:11,933 He's stupid, he's trouble and he's a loser. 765 00:59:12,499 --> 00:59:13,773 You told me so yourself. 766 00:59:16,859 --> 00:59:20,294 There's nothing you can do to change that. Look at his family. 767 00:59:20,578 --> 00:59:22,728 That's basic genetics. 768 00:59:44,978 --> 00:59:47,538 Hi, Mr Bedworth. 769 00:59:48,898 --> 00:59:50,650 Is Nell around? 770 00:59:51,418 --> 00:59:54,384 She's gone back to school, son, she said... 771 00:59:54,484 --> 00:59:57,248 she had to do some extra studying. She has 772 00:59:57,348 --> 00:59:59,608 her interview with Yale tomorrow. 773 00:59:59,898 --> 01:00:01,217 Thanks. 774 01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:07,692 - So, how have you been, Mr. Bedworth? - I'm fine, Woody, just fine. 775 01:00:10,657 --> 01:00:14,445 - Well, give my best to your wife. - I will do. 776 01:00:29,097 --> 01:00:30,769 What are you trying to do? 777 01:00:37,017 --> 01:00:39,736 - Stop, you're gonna hurt yourself! - Back off! 778 01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:44,007 Why are you doing this? 779 01:00:46,456 --> 01:00:48,890 Because this is who I am. 780 01:00:51,176 --> 01:00:53,690 This is all I've ever been. 781 01:00:55,936 --> 01:00:58,086 And now not even that. 782 01:01:02,416 --> 01:01:05,214 Football's not who you are. 783 01:01:06,616 --> 01:01:08,652 You don't get it, do you? 784 01:01:08,896 --> 01:01:11,490 - People like you never do. - People like me? 785 01:01:11,696 --> 01:01:14,208 What exactly is it people like me don't get? 786 01:01:14,308 --> 01:01:15,132 People like me! 787 01:01:16,776 --> 01:01:19,051 Then educate me, please! 788 01:01:24,456 --> 01:01:26,571 We like to play ball. 789 01:01:27,615 --> 01:01:29,606 Maybe we're even pretty good at it. 790 01:01:29,815 --> 01:01:33,808 Maybe we get accepted to some second rate shit kicker college - 791 01:01:34,015 --> 01:01:39,135 or maybe we go work with our dad at the spatula store. Who knows? 792 01:01:39,815 --> 01:01:44,366 But what we don't get is a great job, a big apartment in the city - 793 01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,185 and a Yale education. 794 01:01:46,285 --> 01:01:49,410 So that's what this is about. The interview? 795 01:01:55,415 --> 01:01:57,292 I don't know! 796 01:01:57,895 --> 01:02:02,252 - It's OK to be nervous. - Nothing is OK. Nothing! 797 01:02:04,015 --> 01:02:07,610 Tomorrow I'm supposed to be playing the most important game of my life. 798 01:02:07,815 --> 01:02:11,124 This is my destiny. Mine! 799 01:02:12,334 --> 01:02:15,531 I'm not supposed to be attending some college interwiew. 800 01:02:15,734 --> 01:02:20,728 So we got the wrong lives. Sometimes you just gotta get on with life. 801 01:02:21,494 --> 01:02:23,530 Let things fall into place. 802 01:02:26,534 --> 01:02:27,967 Do me a favour. 803 01:02:28,414 --> 01:02:33,010 Save your inspirational speeches for someone who gives a damn. 804 01:02:33,214 --> 01:02:34,806 I know who I am. 805 01:02:35,814 --> 01:02:39,966 I'm a loser, I'm trouble and I'm stupid. Basic genetics. 806 01:02:40,494 --> 01:02:41,973 Can't help it. 807 01:02:44,894 --> 01:02:48,967 Funny. I never took you for a quitter. 808 01:03:53,772 --> 01:03:55,410 You can go in. 809 01:04:01,932 --> 01:04:03,251 Miss Bedworth? 810 01:04:05,812 --> 01:04:07,484 Please take a seat. 811 01:04:10,812 --> 01:04:15,089 One of the qualities we hope for in any of our students is their passion. 812 01:04:16,291 --> 01:04:19,806 Your turn papers and test results are exemplary. 813 01:04:20,011 --> 01:04:23,452 But your love and knowledge of literature... 814 01:04:23,552 --> 01:04:26,200 is rare in a person of your years. 815 01:04:28,971 --> 01:04:31,565 Thank you, but it's an important part of my life. 816 01:04:33,331 --> 01:04:35,242 Go on. 817 01:04:37,371 --> 01:04:40,602 Poetry, for instance - 818 01:04:41,691 --> 01:04:45,161 I like the way that it can articulate and express feelings - 819 01:04:45,371 --> 01:04:49,159 complicated and difficult feelings that you can't express literally. 820 01:04:57,130 --> 01:04:59,246 What about modern literature? 821 01:04:59,650 --> 01:05:04,519 Are there any contemporary writers and poets you particularly admire? 822 01:05:07,330 --> 01:05:09,764 No. Not really. 823 01:05:12,130 --> 01:05:13,927 Oh. Why is that? 824 01:05:15,330 --> 01:05:17,161 Because they suck? 825 01:05:19,930 --> 01:05:23,809 Welcome everybody to Homecoming, the biggest game of the year. 826 01:05:24,290 --> 01:05:26,884 Surely if poetry is no longer relevant - 827 01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:31,163 poets and their art form are doomed to extincition. 828 01:05:38,570 --> 01:05:41,641 I think that will be all. 829 01:05:56,889 --> 01:06:00,677 Actually, I do like some modern poets. 830 01:06:01,129 --> 01:06:03,279 In fact I love them. 831 01:06:04,649 --> 01:06:07,527 50 Cent, Pete Pablo, Marshal Mathers. 832 01:06:07,729 --> 01:06:09,743 I don't think I'm familiar with their works. 833 01:06:09,843 --> 01:06:10,960 Well, they're rap artists. 834 01:06:11,169 --> 01:06:13,080 And you consider that to be poetry? 835 01:06:13,289 --> 01:06:15,757 Absolutely. It's urban poetry, sir. 836 01:06:15,969 --> 01:06:20,360 They talk about their lives and experiences. They can be very brutal - 837 01:06:20,569 --> 01:06:25,767 but often under a coat of humour. Dark humour. Here, check it out. 838 01:06:27,288 --> 01:06:30,963 Applauds for the home theme. The Westdale Bay Beavers! 839 01:06:32,768 --> 01:06:34,963 That's my boy! 840 01:06:35,448 --> 01:06:36,881 Applauds for the quarterback, Woody Deanne! 841 01:06:36,981 --> 01:06:37,359 Woody Deanne! 842 01:06:37,568 --> 01:06:40,002 That's my boy! 843 01:06:43,328 --> 01:06:44,727 Wait! 844 01:07:00,808 --> 01:07:02,560 Here we go! 845 01:07:08,527 --> 01:07:12,486 Number 83, Johnny Chancer. 846 01:07:28,927 --> 01:07:32,203 Hey you, leave him alone or I'll sock you around! 847 01:07:46,926 --> 01:07:50,123 Touchdown for The Razorbacks, folks! 848 01:08:11,686 --> 01:08:14,598 Touchdown for The Razorbacks. 849 01:08:14,806 --> 01:08:18,355 As they take the lead, 14-0, early in the fourth quarter. 850 01:08:18,566 --> 01:08:23,003 There's still time folks, as Woody Deanne takes the play. 851 01:08:41,645 --> 01:08:45,433 12th yard loss. This is really unusual, folks. 852 01:08:47,325 --> 01:08:49,680 You just messed with the wrong girl. 853 01:08:53,805 --> 01:08:56,478 Hi Nell. I didn't know football was your bag. 854 01:08:56,685 --> 01:08:59,279 I just came to cheer the team. 855 01:09:00,045 --> 01:09:02,115 We're not doing too good. 856 01:09:10,165 --> 01:09:14,237 That's my boy! He's my boy! 857 01:09:23,564 --> 01:09:27,921 Touchdown for The Beavers by Harry the Horse! 858 01:09:29,484 --> 01:09:32,920 - Sit your fat arse down! - Point taken, my good woman. 859 01:09:35,204 --> 01:09:37,672 - Do you want some of the dog? - Yeah, thanks. 860 01:09:40,404 --> 01:09:41,962 Thanks, dad. 861 01:09:57,443 --> 01:10:00,276 This is it, folks. Only 5 seconds to go. 862 01:10:00,643 --> 01:10:04,352 Time for one more play. This is make or break for The Beavers. 863 01:10:09,403 --> 01:10:10,677 Ready? 864 01:10:22,563 --> 01:10:23,632 That's it, girl! 865 01:10:35,322 --> 01:10:36,960 Touchdown! 866 01:10:37,162 --> 01:10:40,393 The Westdale Beavers wins at the very last moment! 867 01:10:40,602 --> 01:10:45,471 It's a touchdown by Woody Deanne and The Beavers wins! 868 01:10:59,042 --> 01:11:01,158 What are you waiting here for? 869 01:11:06,402 --> 01:11:09,633 Woody! You're the man! 870 01:11:11,642 --> 01:11:12,916 Thanks. 871 01:11:13,482 --> 01:11:15,598 Great game, son. 872 01:11:15,842 --> 01:11:19,026 - Decided for a college yet? - I've had my heart set on Yale 873 01:11:19,126 --> 01:11:20,501 since I was a little girl. 874 01:11:20,601 --> 01:11:23,832 That's funny. You know what, get your parents to give me call. 875 01:11:24,321 --> 01:11:27,154 We're not Yale, but I think you might like what we have to offer. 876 01:11:27,681 --> 01:11:30,479 - Thank you so much. - No problem. Great game. 877 01:11:37,361 --> 01:11:40,592 You did it! You were great! 878 01:11:41,321 --> 01:11:43,676 Did you see me out there? I totally kicked ass! 879 01:11:43,881 --> 01:11:46,634 And the guy back here, he was a scout. He gave me his card. 880 01:11:47,561 --> 01:11:51,236 - You're going to college. No spatulas. - I saw. 881 01:11:52,681 --> 01:11:55,434 You know what the best part is? I totally loved it! 882 01:11:56,121 --> 01:11:59,511 Your adrenaline gets pumping and the crowd was totally into it. 883 01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:06,470 The interview? Oh my god, I totally forgot it. 884 01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:08,315 How was it? 885 01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:11,477 It was amazing. 886 01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:14,077 I mean, the place was. 887 01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:18,068 For a moment I really felt like part of it. 888 01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:23,078 I gave my best shot. 889 01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:26,278 I'm sure you did. 890 01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:28,671 And that's all anyone can ask. 891 01:12:30,160 --> 01:12:33,357 And I tell you something. They would be lucky - 892 01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:37,435 to have someone like you. Thank you. 893 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,558 Dito. 894 01:12:42,239 --> 01:12:46,152 You know, if I have to spend my life as someone else - 895 01:12:47,279 --> 01:12:49,156 I'd be honoured to be you. 896 01:12:51,599 --> 01:12:52,918 Dito back at you. 897 01:12:54,119 --> 01:12:56,428 Double double dito. 898 01:13:19,159 --> 01:13:20,592 Woody? 899 01:13:22,119 --> 01:13:25,793 - Hey guys, I'm back! - What are you talking about, 'back'? 900 01:13:31,398 --> 01:13:35,357 Hey there, Mr. Football hero. Am I attractive enough for you now? 901 01:13:55,198 --> 01:13:57,135 Please Mrs. Bedworth, I need to speak to Nell. 902 01:13:57,235 --> 01:13:58,634 She doesn't wish to speak with you. 903 01:13:58,838 --> 01:13:59,987 I have to talk to her! 904 01:14:00,198 --> 01:14:02,194 She isn't going to the dance, Woody, 905 01:14:02,294 --> 01:14:04,828 but she did say she hopes you have a good time - 906 01:14:05,278 --> 01:14:06,915 with Breanna Bailey. 907 01:14:09,757 --> 01:14:13,113 For just one moment, Woody, I thought you had changed. 908 01:14:20,637 --> 01:14:24,425 Come on honey, why the sad face? 909 01:14:26,557 --> 01:14:28,195 You got everything we ever wanted. 910 01:14:52,076 --> 01:14:55,466 Oh my god! Look at that dress! 911 01:15:10,996 --> 01:15:12,475 So, do you like my dress? 912 01:15:14,276 --> 01:15:17,586 - Yeah, you look nice, Breanna. - It's so tight, it shows everything. 913 01:15:19,236 --> 01:15:21,227 I had to leave my panties off. 914 01:15:21,916 --> 01:15:24,066 Let's hope you don't get diarrhoea then. 915 01:15:24,556 --> 01:15:26,626 I'm gonna get some punch. 916 01:15:31,835 --> 01:15:33,029 Harry? 917 01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:35,069 Do you like my dress? 918 01:15:35,555 --> 01:15:36,908 Yeah baby, it looks good on you. 919 01:15:52,315 --> 01:15:53,201 I am so nervous? 920 01:15:53,301 --> 01:15:55,591 Are you kidding me? You've got this in a bag. 921 01:15:57,115 --> 01:15:59,265 Check the make-up? We won't be a minute. 922 01:15:59,475 --> 01:16:02,308 Woody, straighten your tie. Photographers! 923 01:16:08,435 --> 01:16:11,552 You know, seeing you in that tuxedo is making me feel kinda horny. 924 01:16:13,075 --> 01:16:16,271 - Let's do it in the bushes! - Serious? 925 01:16:16,714 --> 01:16:19,547 Yeah, it'd be like doing it with James Bond. 926 01:16:19,874 --> 01:16:24,504 You know me: 009/2. License to thrill! 927 01:16:29,754 --> 01:16:30,709 Woody, wait! 928 01:16:31,714 --> 01:16:35,468 You wait over there, then I'll walk by like Halle Berry - 929 01:16:35,674 --> 01:16:38,142 and then you jump up and grab me. 930 01:16:38,354 --> 01:16:40,185 Not a minute to miss. 931 01:16:56,313 --> 01:16:58,144 Ready when you are baby! 932 01:16:58,713 --> 01:17:00,624 Come and get me! 933 01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:02,471 Chanel? 934 01:17:08,393 --> 01:17:10,065 Goodbye, Mr. Bond. 935 01:17:15,633 --> 01:17:17,430 Halle Berry wouldn't have done that. 936 01:17:18,393 --> 01:17:21,669 Good evening, Westdale Bay! 937 01:17:22,273 --> 01:17:26,152 And the presentation of the crowns of this year's... 938 01:17:35,193 --> 01:17:36,706 Hi, princess. 939 01:17:39,632 --> 01:17:41,668 So you're not going to the dance? 940 01:17:45,432 --> 01:17:47,104 Does it have anything to do with Woody? 941 01:17:53,592 --> 01:17:54,945 Maybe. 942 01:17:56,912 --> 01:17:58,789 He likes someone else. 943 01:18:00,032 --> 01:18:02,102 But is she a princess? 944 01:18:04,072 --> 01:18:06,711 Anytime soon she'll be a queen. 945 01:18:06,992 --> 01:18:10,462 No contest. Princesses are younger and prettier - 946 01:18:10,672 --> 01:18:12,742 especially when they're my daughter. 947 01:18:17,552 --> 01:18:19,463 You really like him, don't you? 948 01:18:23,431 --> 01:18:24,705 Me too. 949 01:18:25,831 --> 01:18:28,186 I think he's a good one. 950 01:18:28,911 --> 01:18:30,185 I think you should go. 951 01:18:39,151 --> 01:18:40,504 But I don't have anything to wear. 952 01:18:42,151 --> 01:18:44,221 Just a... 953 01:18:50,671 --> 01:18:52,859 Now, I'm not usually known for my taste in fashion... 954 01:18:52,959 --> 01:18:55,062 but the young lady in the store said it was 'dope'. 955 01:18:55,271 --> 01:18:57,262 I have no idea what that means of course. 956 01:19:01,271 --> 01:19:02,908 It's beautiful. 957 01:19:05,710 --> 01:19:09,828 She said you need these too. Apparently these are heavy. 958 01:19:11,630 --> 01:19:13,348 For all I know they could be dope as well. 959 01:19:16,070 --> 01:19:17,469 Thank you! 960 01:19:18,110 --> 01:19:21,944 And the title of Westdale Bay High Homecoming King - 961 01:19:22,310 --> 01:19:23,663 goes to - 962 01:19:25,150 --> 01:19:28,665 our very own footballing hero, Woody Deanne! 963 01:19:45,989 --> 01:19:48,662 And now for the biggie - 964 01:19:48,869 --> 01:19:53,943 this year's Westdale Bay Homecoming Queen is - 965 01:19:56,829 --> 01:19:58,626 Breanna Bailey. 966 01:20:09,989 --> 01:20:13,698 Thank you, Miss Bidermeyer. Principal Johnson. 967 01:20:14,109 --> 01:20:16,418 And thank you, Westdale Bay! 968 01:20:16,829 --> 01:20:20,105 There are so many people that I need to share this great honour with. 969 01:20:20,309 --> 01:20:22,319 My mother whose undying support and... 970 01:20:22,419 --> 01:20:24,700 generous attitude towards cosmetic surgery. 971 01:20:24,909 --> 01:20:26,944 My hair dresser, Georgio Theodopolous - 972 01:20:27,148 --> 01:20:29,961 Thank you, Breanna. Another round of... 973 01:20:30,061 --> 01:20:33,223 applauds please for Homecoming King and Queen! 974 01:21:29,907 --> 01:21:32,876 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 975 01:21:32,976 --> 01:21:35,504 Thou art more lovely and temperate. 976 01:21:36,947 --> 01:21:41,577 Rough winds bla bla bla something. Can't remember. Yada yada yada. 977 01:21:44,987 --> 01:21:46,420 It's alright. 978 01:21:48,507 --> 01:21:50,498 I'm no Shakespeare - 979 01:21:50,987 --> 01:21:53,864 my guess is Romeo wasn't much of a quarterback, either, right? 980 01:21:55,066 --> 01:21:57,051 I really wish I had the most perfect and... 981 01:21:57,151 --> 01:21:59,184 beautiful words in the world to say to you - 982 01:21:59,386 --> 01:22:01,632 cause if I did I'd say them but... 983 01:22:01,732 --> 01:22:05,063 I'd say how great you make me feel when I'm with you. 984 01:22:05,946 --> 01:22:10,064 And how I love that little thing you do with your nose when you smile. 985 01:22:11,266 --> 01:22:14,144 How you always correct my stupid grammar. I hate it. 986 01:22:15,026 --> 01:22:16,459 But most of all - 987 01:22:17,306 --> 01:22:22,619 I'd tell you that... you make me a better person. 988 01:22:25,466 --> 01:22:27,024 My own person. 989 01:22:28,786 --> 01:22:31,983 And that's why I know that this means nothing. 990 01:22:35,585 --> 01:22:38,258 And you mean everything. 991 01:22:41,145 --> 01:22:43,136 But hey, I'm just a stupid quarterback. 992 01:22:44,425 --> 01:22:46,177 I don't know the right words. 993 01:22:47,825 --> 01:22:50,100 Those were lovely words. 994 01:22:51,225 --> 01:22:53,216 Perfect words. 995 01:22:53,785 --> 01:22:55,616 Come here, dumb jock. 996 01:22:56,065 --> 01:22:58,101 Don't try to stop me, pencil neck. 997 01:23:01,545 --> 01:23:02,944 Stop that! 998 01:23:03,825 --> 01:23:05,656 I'm the Homecoming Queen. 999 01:23:06,305 --> 01:23:07,784 Let's get out of here. 1000 01:23:10,105 --> 01:23:13,575 - I'm the Homecoming Queen. - And you're a bitch! 1001 01:23:14,785 --> 01:23:16,854 Nice ass, baby! How about a little swirl? 1002 01:23:38,824 --> 01:23:41,896 Did I miss this? Did Woody Deanne win? 1003 01:23:47,744 --> 01:23:50,019 Sweet lord! 1004 01:24:05,983 --> 01:24:07,735 So, how are we gonna do this? 1005 01:24:08,703 --> 01:24:11,581 You're going to your chicken shit college and me going to Yale. 1006 01:24:15,063 --> 01:24:19,500 You did it. It came this morning. Congratulations! 1007 01:24:20,223 --> 01:24:22,179 You got in? 1008 01:24:23,623 --> 01:24:25,102 Oh my god, I did it! 1009 01:24:25,303 --> 01:24:28,375 Me and you did really good, huh? 1010 01:24:29,303 --> 01:24:30,258 You and me. 1011 01:24:31,303 --> 01:24:32,656 Or - 1012 01:24:32,983 --> 01:24:34,132 I? 1013 01:24:34,343 --> 01:24:36,777 Will you just kiss me already? 1014 01:24:37,383 --> 01:24:39,135 Yes, mam. 1015 01:25:19,182 --> 01:25:22,810 You can not be serious? A year of sabbatical? We're talking about Yale - 1016 01:25:23,021 --> 01:25:25,455 for heavens sake, Yale! 1017 01:25:27,301 --> 01:25:30,020 I know mum. But what the heck? 1018 01:26:02,781 --> 01:26:05,169 If I may quote Snoop Dog: 1019 01:26:06,820 --> 01:26:08,458 Let's get it started! 1020 01:26:13,060 --> 01:26:14,732 Dope, huh? 1021 01:26:15,020 --> 01:26:16,976 See what I'm saying? 1022 01:26:17,180 --> 01:26:19,774 Actually, I'm not sure if this is Snoop - 1023 01:26:19,980 --> 01:26:24,531 it could be One Eyed Peas or 38 Cents. 1024 01:26:25,780 --> 01:26:27,850 I'm down with it anyway, bitch.