1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:23,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,165 This is your lunch, OK? 4 00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:39,338 Now, I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk. 5 00:00:39,537 --> 00:00:41,232 You can ask one of the big kids where to do that. 6 00:00:41,439 --> 00:00:43,907 You remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case. 7 00:00:44,108 --> 00:00:46,599 Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. 8 00:00:47,078 --> 00:00:49,569 OK? You ready? 9 00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:52,044 I think so. 10 00:00:54,185 --> 00:00:56,119 It's Cady's big day. 11 00:00:56,554 --> 00:00:59,546 I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school. 12 00:00:59,757 --> 00:01:02,419 But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is 5. 13 00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:05,960 I'm 16 and until today, I was home-schooled. 14 00:01:06,163 --> 00:01:09,132 I know what you're thinking. "Home-schooled kids are freaks." 15 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:13,963 X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P. Xylocarp. 16 00:01:14,171 --> 00:01:16,469 Or that we're weirdly religious or something. 17 00:01:16,741 --> 00:01:21,178 And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-achion rifle 18 00:01:21,379 --> 00:01:23,779 so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. 19 00:01:23,981 --> 00:01:25,778 And the homosexuals. 20 00:01:25,983 --> 00:01:27,382 - Amen. - Amen. 21 00:01:27,585 --> 00:01:28,984 But my family's totally normal. 22 00:01:29,186 --> 00:01:32,155 Except for the fact that both my parents are research zoologists 23 00:01:32,456 --> 00:01:34,481 and we've spent the last 12 years in Africa. 24 00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:36,054 I had a great life. 25 00:01:36,394 --> 00:01:38,624 But then my mom got offered tenure at Northwestern University. 26 00:01:38,963 --> 00:01:43,195 So it was goodbye Africa and hello high school. 27 00:01:45,503 --> 00:01:47,095 I'm OK. Sorry. 28 00:01:47,305 --> 00:01:48,704 I'll be careful. 29 00:02:14,598 --> 00:02:15,963 Hi. 30 00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,032 I don't know if anyone told you about me. 31 00:02:18,235 --> 00:02:20,533 I'm a new student here. My name is Cady Heron. 32 00:02:20,738 --> 00:02:23,605 Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass. 33 00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:31,640 You don't wanna sit there. Kristen Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there. 34 00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:34,648 Hey, baby. 35 00:02:41,492 --> 00:02:42,720 He farts a lot. 36 00:02:52,169 --> 00:02:53,864 Hey, everybody. 37 00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:57,536 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 38 00:02:58,042 --> 00:03:00,909 It's not you. I'm bad luck. 39 00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,145 Ms. Norbury? 40 00:03:07,418 --> 00:03:08,942 My T-shirt's stuck to my sweater, isn't it? 41 00:03:09,153 --> 00:03:11,087 - Yeah. - Fantastic. 42 00:03:11,288 --> 00:03:12,585 Is everything all right in here? 43 00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:16,055 - Oh, yeah. - So... 44 00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,353 ...how was your summer? - I got divorced. 45 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,527 My carpal tunnel came back. 46 00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:25,533 - I win. - Yes, you do. 47 00:03:25,736 --> 00:03:27,294 Well, I just wanted to let everyone know 48 00:03:27,505 --> 00:03:29,302 that we have a new student joining us. 49 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:32,234 She just moved here all the way from Africa. 50 00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:34,001 Welcome. 51 00:03:34,712 --> 00:03:37,476 - I'm from Michigan. - Great. 52 00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:40,417 Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. 53 00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:42,176 - Where are you, Cady? - That's me. 54 00:03:42,386 --> 00:03:44,946 - It's pronounced like Katie. - My apologies. 55 00:03:45,156 --> 00:03:46,783 I have a nephew named Anfernee, 56 00:03:46,991 --> 00:03:49,289 and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. 57 00:03:49,493 --> 00:03:51,324 Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact 58 00:03:51,529 --> 00:03:53,156 that my sister named him Anfernee. 59 00:03:53,731 --> 00:03:55,392 Well, welcome, Cady. 60 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:58,568 - And thank you, Mr. Duvall. - Well, thank you. 61 00:03:58,769 --> 00:04:00,168 And... 62 00:04:00,371 --> 00:04:03,306 ...if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody... 63 00:04:03,507 --> 00:04:04,735 Thanks. 64 00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:08,340 Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see-through. 65 00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:10,505 OK. 66 00:04:11,282 --> 00:04:13,910 OK. Good day, everybody. 67 00:04:15,186 --> 00:04:17,381 The first day of school was a blur. 68 00:04:17,588 --> 00:04:20,352 A stressful, surreal blur. 69 00:04:20,558 --> 00:04:22,719 I got in trouble for the most random things. 70 00:04:22,927 --> 00:04:25,623 - Where are you going? - Oh, I have to go to the bathroom. 71 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:27,658 You need the lavatory pass. 72 00:04:28,265 --> 00:04:30,130 OK. Can I have the lavatory pass? 73 00:04:30,935 --> 00:04:32,425 Nice try. Have a seat. 74 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:35,734 I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, 75 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,339 where they were always yelling at me. 76 00:04:37,541 --> 00:04:39,168 - Don't read ahead! - No green pen! 77 00:04:39,376 --> 00:04:40,536 No food in class! 78 00:04:51,689 --> 00:04:52,986 I told you, I saw the whole thing. 79 00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:54,851 - Everything. - Did you see nipple? 80 00:04:55,059 --> 00:04:58,620 - It only counts if you saw a nipple. - That's true, dude. 81 00:04:58,829 --> 00:05:00,854 I had a lot of friends in Africa. 82 00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:05,629 What? 83 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,827 But so far, none in Evanston. 84 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,879 Hey. How was your first day? 85 00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:40,360 Is that your natural hair color? 86 00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:42,801 - Yeah. - It's gorgeous. 87 00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:44,235 Thank you. 88 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,199 See, this is the color I want. 89 00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,878 This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function. 90 00:05:49,947 --> 00:05:52,211 - Nice to meet you. - Nice wig, Janis. 91 00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:54,748 - What's it made of? - Your mom's chest hair! 92 00:05:54,952 --> 00:05:58,012 - I'm Janis. - Hi, I'm Cady. 93 00:05:58,556 --> 00:06:00,922 Do you guys know where Room G 14 is? 94 00:06:02,626 --> 00:06:05,026 "Health, Tuesday/Thursday, Room G 14." 95 00:06:05,229 --> 00:06:07,629 I think that's in the back building. 96 00:06:07,831 --> 00:06:10,299 - Yeah, that's in the back building. - Yeah, we'll take you there. 97 00:06:11,135 --> 00:06:12,693 Thanks. 98 00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:17,236 Watch out, please! New meat coming through! 99 00:06:17,808 --> 00:06:20,470 "Health. Spanish." 100 00:06:20,678 --> 00:06:22,737 You're taking 12th-grade calculus? 101 00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,711 - Yeah, I like math. - Why? 102 00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:27,811 Because it's the same in every country. 103 00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:31,654 That's beautiful. This girl is deep. 104 00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:33,889 Where's the back building? 105 00:06:34,425 --> 00:06:36,393 It burned down in 1987. 106 00:06:36,894 --> 00:06:39,089 Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this? 107 00:06:39,396 --> 00:06:41,125 Why would we get you into trouble? 108 00:06:41,332 --> 00:06:43,027 We're your friends. 109 00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:47,093 I know it's wrong to skip class, but Janis said we were friends. 110 00:06:47,304 --> 00:06:49,898 And I was in no position to pass up friends. 111 00:06:50,107 --> 00:06:53,304 I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of health class. 112 00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:57,412 Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. 113 00:06:57,615 --> 00:06:59,310 Don't have sex in the missionary position, 114 00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:00,949 don't have sex standing up. 115 00:07:01,785 --> 00:07:03,616 Just don't do it, promise? 116 00:07:04,755 --> 00:07:06,518 OK, everybody take some rubbers. 117 00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:08,715 Why didn't they just keep home-schooling you? 118 00:07:08,926 --> 00:07:10,655 They wanted me to get socialized. 119 00:07:10,861 --> 00:07:13,455 Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you. 120 00:07:13,797 --> 00:07:16,766 - What are you talking about? - You're a regulation hottie. 121 00:07:17,101 --> 00:07:18,966 - What? - Own it. 122 00:07:19,169 --> 00:07:20,602 How do you spell your name again, Cady? 123 00:07:20,804 --> 00:07:23,136 It's Cady. C-A-D-Y. 124 00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:25,040 Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady. 125 00:07:25,442 --> 00:07:29,344 In the name of all that is holy, will you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes? 126 00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:32,208 Of course all The Plastics are in the same gym class. 127 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:35,074 - Who are The Plastics? - They're teen royalty. 128 00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:38,482 If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover. 129 00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:40,281 That one there, that's Karen Smith. 130 00:07:40,491 --> 00:07:43,858 She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. 131 00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:46,554 Damian sat next to her in English last year. 132 00:07:46,764 --> 00:07:48,561 She asked me how to spell "orange". 133 00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:52,500 And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners. 134 00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:55,194 She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel. 135 00:07:55,406 --> 00:07:56,998 Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business. 136 00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:59,038 She knows everything about everyone. 137 00:07:59,243 --> 00:08:02,007 That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. 138 00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:06,844 And evil takes a human form in Regina George. 139 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:10,248 Don't be fooled, because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, 140 00:08:10,454 --> 00:08:15,585 slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that. 141 00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,021 She's the queen bee. 142 00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:19,787 The star. Those other two are just her little workers. 143 00:08:19,997 --> 00:08:21,589 Regina George. 144 00:08:21,799 --> 00:08:24,734 How do I even begin to explain Regina George? 145 00:08:24,935 --> 00:08:26,698 Regina George is flawless. 146 00:08:26,904 --> 00:08:29,168 She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. 147 00:08:29,373 --> 00:08:31,398 I hear her hair's insured for $10,000. 148 00:08:31,608 --> 00:08:34,406 I hear she does car commercials. In Japan. 149 00:08:34,611 --> 00:08:36,340 Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues. 150 00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:38,174 One time, she met John Stamos on a plane. 151 00:08:38,382 --> 00:08:39,872 And he told her she was pretty. 152 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,109 One time, she punched me in the face. 153 00:08:42,319 --> 00:08:43,946 It was awesome. 154 00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:47,282 She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen. 155 00:08:47,491 --> 00:08:49,459 - Who cares? - I care. 156 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,491 Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen 157 00:08:51,695 --> 00:08:52,957 called The Spring Fling. 158 00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:55,256 And whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen 159 00:08:55,466 --> 00:08:57,331 automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee. 160 00:08:57,534 --> 00:09:00,367 And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, 161 00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:02,562 I would say, yeah, I care. 162 00:09:02,773 --> 00:09:05,867 Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself. 163 00:09:07,711 --> 00:09:10,839 Here. This map is gonna be your guide to North Shore. 164 00:09:11,048 --> 00:09:13,539 Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial 165 00:09:13,751 --> 00:09:15,150 because you got everybody there. 166 00:09:15,352 --> 00:09:17,912 You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, 167 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:21,057 preps, JV jocks, 168 00:09:21,258 --> 00:09:23,488 Asian nerds, 169 00:09:23,994 --> 00:09:25,723 cool Asians, 170 00:09:26,096 --> 00:09:27,393 varsity jocks, 171 00:09:27,765 --> 00:09:29,790 unfriendly black hotties, 172 00:09:30,334 --> 00:09:32,325 girls who eat their feelings, 173 00:09:32,736 --> 00:09:34,795 girls who don't eat anything, 174 00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:36,472 desperate wannabes, 175 00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:38,169 burnouts, 176 00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:40,443 sexually active band geeks, 177 00:09:40,677 --> 00:09:42,941 the greatest people you will ever meet 178 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,716 and the worst. Beware of The Plastics. 179 00:09:49,253 --> 00:09:51,619 Hey. We're doing a lunchtime survey of new students. 180 00:09:51,822 --> 00:09:53,084 Can you answer a few questions? 181 00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,254 - OK. - Is your muffin buttered? 182 00:09:56,994 --> 00:09:58,393 What? 183 00:09:59,263 --> 00:10:02,664 Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? 184 00:10:02,866 --> 00:10:04,834 - My what? - Is he bothering you? 185 00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:07,003 Jason, why are you such a skeez? 186 00:10:07,204 --> 00:10:08,762 I'm just being friendly. 187 00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:10,772 You were supposed to call me last night. 188 00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:14,102 Jason. You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen 189 00:10:14,311 --> 00:10:17,803 and then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later. 190 00:10:18,015 --> 00:10:19,482 She's not interested. 191 00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:20,945 Do you wanna have sex with him? 192 00:10:21,785 --> 00:10:24,720 - No, thank you. - Good. So it's settled. 193 00:10:24,922 --> 00:10:26,514 So you can go shave your back now. 194 00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,582 Bye, Jason. 195 00:10:28,792 --> 00:10:30,623 Bitch. 196 00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:33,661 Wait. Sit down. 197 00:10:35,032 --> 00:10:36,659 Seriously, sit down. 198 00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,598 Why don't I know you? 199 00:10:41,805 --> 00:10:44,205 I'm new. I just moved here from Africa. 200 00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:46,873 - What? - I used to be home-schooled. 201 00:10:47,077 --> 00:10:48,442 Wait. What? 202 00:10:48,645 --> 00:10:50,408 - My mom taught me at home... - No, no. 203 00:10:50,614 --> 00:10:52,081 I know what home-school is. I'm not retarded. 204 00:10:52,282 --> 00:10:54,409 So you've actually never been to a real school before? 205 00:10:56,053 --> 00:10:57,577 Shut up. 206 00:10:58,488 --> 00:10:59,887 Shut up. 207 00:11:00,524 --> 00:11:02,992 - I didn't say anything. - Home-schooled. 208 00:11:03,193 --> 00:11:05,525 - That's really interesting. - Thanks. 209 00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:07,196 But you're, like, really pretty. 210 00:11:07,564 --> 00:11:09,623 - Thank you. - So you agree. 211 00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:11,562 - What? - You think you're really pretty. 212 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:15,036 - Oh, I don't know... - Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. 213 00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:18,072 - Where did you get it? - Oh, my mom made it for me. 214 00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:20,869 - It's adorable. - Oh, it's so fetch. 215 00:11:21,078 --> 00:11:24,445 - What is "fetch"? - Oh, it's, like, slang. From England. 216 00:11:24,648 --> 00:11:26,081 So if you're from Africa... 217 00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:28,345 ...why are you white? 218 00:11:28,552 --> 00:11:31,715 Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white. 219 00:11:31,922 --> 00:11:34,413 Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second? 220 00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,422 Yeah, sure. 221 00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:38,860 What are you doing? 222 00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:44,758 OK, you should just know that we don't do this a lot, 223 00:11:44,968 --> 00:11:47,232 so this is, like, a really huge deal. 224 00:11:47,437 --> 00:11:49,132 We wanna invite you to have lunch with us 225 00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,966 every day for the rest of the week. 226 00:11:51,174 --> 00:11:53,108 - Oh, it's OK... - Coolness. 227 00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:54,538 So we'll see you tomorrow. 228 00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:57,009 On Wednesdays, we wear pink. 229 00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,415 Oh, my God! OK, you have to do it, OK? 230 00:11:59,616 --> 00:12:02,244 And then you have to tell me all the horrible things that Regina says. 231 00:12:02,519 --> 00:12:04,316 Regina seems sweet. 232 00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:06,088 Regina George is not sweet. 233 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,850 She's a scum-sucking road whore! She ruined my life! 234 00:12:09,059 --> 00:12:10,754 She's fabulous, but she's evil. 235 00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:12,952 - Hey, get out of here! - Oh, my God, Danny DeVito. 236 00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:14,994 I love your work! 237 00:12:15,198 --> 00:12:16,995 - Why do you hate her? - What do you mean? 238 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,134 Regina. You seem to really hate her. 239 00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:21,133 Yes. What's your question? 240 00:12:21,338 --> 00:12:23,397 - Well, my question is, why? - Regina started this rumor 241 00:12:23,607 --> 00:12:26,474 - that Janis was... - Damian! Shall we not? 242 00:12:26,677 --> 00:12:28,338 Now, look. This isn't about hating her, OK? 243 00:12:28,545 --> 00:12:30,308 I just think that it would be, like, a fun little experiment 244 00:12:30,514 --> 00:12:33,074 if you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say. 245 00:12:33,283 --> 00:12:35,342 - What do we even talk about? - Hair products. 246 00:12:35,552 --> 00:12:37,281 - Ashton Kutcher. - Is that a band? 247 00:12:37,487 --> 00:12:40,047 Would you just do it? Please? 248 00:12:40,691 --> 00:12:42,989 OK, fine. Do you have anything pink? 249 00:12:43,193 --> 00:12:44,956 - Yes. - No. 250 00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:48,223 By eigtht period, I was so happy to get to math class. 251 00:12:48,432 --> 00:12:50,832 I mean, I'm good at math. I understand math. 252 00:12:51,034 --> 00:12:52,934 Nothing in math class could mess me up. 253 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:55,304 Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow? 254 00:12:57,541 --> 00:12:59,634 I've only had one other crush in my life. 255 00:12:59,843 --> 00:13:01,811 His name was Nfume, and we were 5. 256 00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:07,346 It didn't work out. 257 00:13:08,452 --> 00:13:10,613 But this one hit me like a big, yellow school bus. 258 00:13:10,821 --> 00:13:12,880 - Cady, what do you say? - He was... 259 00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:14,523 So cute. 260 00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:20,422 I mean, A- sub-N equals N plus one over four. 261 00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:22,097 That's right. 262 00:13:22,299 --> 00:13:24,267 That's good. Very good. 263 00:13:24,468 --> 00:13:26,299 All right, let's talk about your homework. 264 00:13:28,071 --> 00:13:30,232 Hey. How was your second day? 265 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,736 - Fine. - Were people nice? 266 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,504 - No. - Did you make any friends? 267 00:13:35,946 --> 00:13:37,709 Yeah. 268 00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:42,375 Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the actual world 269 00:13:42,586 --> 00:13:44,076 and entering "Girl World". 270 00:13:44,287 --> 00:13:46,312 And Girl World had a lot of rules. 271 00:13:46,523 --> 00:13:48,423 You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, 272 00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:51,321 and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. 273 00:13:51,795 --> 00:13:54,263 So I guess you picked today. 274 00:13:54,598 --> 00:13:57,658 Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. 275 00:13:57,868 --> 00:14:01,201 Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch. 276 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,396 I mean, not just you. Like, any of us. 277 00:14:03,607 --> 00:14:05,404 OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today, 278 00:14:05,609 --> 00:14:07,873 I would be sitting over there with the art freaks. 279 00:14:10,147 --> 00:14:12,274 Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us 280 00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:15,280 because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. 281 00:14:15,552 --> 00:14:17,679 Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first 282 00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:20,049 - if it looks good on you. - I wouldn't? 283 00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,221 Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. 284 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:26,886 Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong. 285 00:14:27,097 --> 00:14:30,260 A hundred and twenty calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that? 286 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,400 Forty-eight into 120? 287 00:14:32,602 --> 00:14:35,230 I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat. 288 00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,031 It's 40 percent. 289 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,403 Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, 290 00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,942 and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X. 291 00:14:44,047 --> 00:14:45,742 Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries. 292 00:14:48,518 --> 00:14:51,214 So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet? 293 00:14:52,022 --> 00:14:53,785 Well, there's this guy in my calculus class... 294 00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:55,821 - Who is it? - It's a senior? 295 00:14:56,093 --> 00:14:58,584 - His name's Aaron Samuels. - No! 296 00:14:58,795 --> 00:15:00,763 Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels. 297 00:15:00,964 --> 00:15:02,625 That's Regina's ex-boyfriend. 298 00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,061 They went out for a year. 299 00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:05,632 Yeah, and then she was devastated 300 00:15:05,836 --> 00:15:07,235 when he broke up with her last summer. 301 00:15:07,537 --> 00:15:09,562 I thought she dumped him for Shane Oman. 302 00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:12,435 OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. 303 00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:15,008 I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism. 304 00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:20,040 Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina what you said. 305 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,081 It'll be our little secret. 306 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:27,256 We define the sum of the infinite geometric series... 307 00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:29,288 Even though I wasn't allowed to like Aaron, 308 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,189 I was still allowed to look at him. 309 00:15:33,163 --> 00:15:34,824 And think about him. 310 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,191 And talk to him. 311 00:15:39,402 --> 00:15:41,131 - Hey, Aar... - Hey, you're the Africa girl, right? 312 00:15:41,938 --> 00:15:43,565 - Yeah. - I'm Kevin Gnapoor, 313 00:15:43,773 --> 00:15:45,263 captain of the North Shore Mathletes. 314 00:15:45,475 --> 00:15:48,603 We participate in math challenges against other high schools in the state, 315 00:15:48,812 --> 00:15:51,076 and we can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl. 316 00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:52,839 So you should think about joining. 317 00:15:53,049 --> 00:15:55,540 - Oh, you'd be perfect for it. - Yeah, definitely. 318 00:15:55,752 --> 00:15:58,016 Great, great. Let me give you my card. 319 00:16:01,491 --> 00:16:02,788 OK, so think it over. 320 00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:06,054 Because we'd like to get jackets. 321 00:16:06,863 --> 00:16:08,421 OK. 322 00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,472 Hey! 323 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,207 Get in, loser. We're going shopping. 324 00:16:26,783 --> 00:16:28,808 Regina's like the Barbie doll I never had. 325 00:16:29,019 --> 00:16:31,385 I'd never seen anybody so glamorous. 326 00:16:34,257 --> 00:16:36,817 - So how do you like North Shore? - It's good. 327 00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:38,460 I think I'm joining the Mathletes. 328 00:16:38,662 --> 00:16:39,890 - No! No, no. - No, no. 329 00:16:40,096 --> 00:16:42,656 You cannot do that. That is social suicide. 330 00:16:42,866 --> 00:16:45,494 Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you. 331 00:16:56,246 --> 00:16:59,909 Being at Old Orctard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. 332 00:17:00,116 --> 00:17:03,415 By the watering hole. when the animals are in heat. 333 00:17:11,494 --> 00:17:12,791 Oh, my God, there's Jason! 334 00:17:12,996 --> 00:17:15,692 Where? Oh, there he is. 335 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,730 - And he's with Taylor Wedell. - I heard they're going out. 336 00:17:19,936 --> 00:17:22,530 Wait. Jason's not going out with Taylor. 337 00:17:22,739 --> 00:17:25,071 No. He cannot blow you off like that. 338 00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:28,540 He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone. 339 00:17:29,512 --> 00:17:32,072 - You're not gonna call him, right? - Do you think I'm an idiot? 340 00:17:32,415 --> 00:17:33,848 No. 341 00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:38,816 - Wedell on South Boulevard. - Caller ID. 342 00:17:39,022 --> 00:17:40,683 Not when you connect from Information. 343 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,118 - Hello? - Hello. 344 00:17:42,325 --> 00:17:43,758 May I please speak to Taylor Wedell? 345 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,587 She's not home yet. Who's calling? 346 00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:47,763 Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. 347 00:17:47,964 --> 00:17:51,559 I have her test results. If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. 348 00:17:51,768 --> 00:17:54,066 It's urgent. Thank you. 349 00:17:55,338 --> 00:17:56,999 She's not going out with anyone. 350 00:17:57,207 --> 00:17:59,767 OK, that was so fetch. 351 00:18:07,317 --> 00:18:09,012 Mom. 352 00:18:21,231 --> 00:18:23,495 Your house is really nice. 353 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,634 I know, right? 354 00:18:25,835 --> 00:18:27,393 Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. 355 00:18:27,604 --> 00:18:29,765 They're hard as rocks. 356 00:18:31,274 --> 00:18:33,504 I'm home! Hey, Kylie. 357 00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:35,534 Hey. 358 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:40,507 Hey, hey, hey! How are my best girlfriends? 359 00:18:40,717 --> 00:18:42,480 Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady. 360 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:44,711 Hello, sweetheart. 361 00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:48,424 - Hi. - Welcome to our home. 362 00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:54,728 Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK? 363 00:18:54,931 --> 00:18:57,832 There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. 364 00:18:58,034 --> 00:19:00,628 I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina? 365 00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:02,304 - Please stop talking. - OK. 366 00:19:02,505 --> 00:19:05,599 I'm gonna make you girls a "hump day" treat. 367 00:19:11,214 --> 00:19:12,875 This is your room? 368 00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:16,314 It was my parents' room, but I made them trade me. 369 00:19:17,087 --> 00:19:19,021 Hey, put on 98.8. 370 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,160 Cady, do you even know who sings this? 371 00:19:27,464 --> 00:19:29,432 - The Spice Girls? - I love her. 372 00:19:29,632 --> 00:19:30,894 She's like a Martian. 373 00:19:31,101 --> 00:19:34,434 - God, my hips are huge! - Oh, please. I hate my calves. 374 00:19:34,637 --> 00:19:37,333 At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders. 375 00:19:37,607 --> 00:19:40,167 I used to think there was just fat and skinny. 376 00:19:40,377 --> 00:19:42,777 Apparently, there's a lot of things that can be wrong on your body. 377 00:19:42,979 --> 00:19:45,777 - My hairline is so weird. - My pores are huge. 378 00:19:45,982 --> 00:19:47,279 My nail beds suck. 379 00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:52,555 I have really bad breath in the morning. 380 00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:58,219 Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from 4 to 6! 381 00:19:59,996 --> 00:20:01,657 Thanks. 382 00:20:02,432 --> 00:20:04,400 Is there alcohol in this? 383 00:20:04,601 --> 00:20:08,059 Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am? 384 00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:11,468 Do you want a bit? If you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house. 385 00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:13,198 - No, thank you. - OK. 386 00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:17,870 So, you guys, what is the 411? 387 00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:20,675 What has everybody been up to? 388 00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:23,910 What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything. 389 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,247 What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams? 390 00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:27,820 Mom. 391 00:20:28,024 --> 00:20:30,424 - Could you go fix your hair? - OK. 392 00:20:30,627 --> 00:20:34,063 You girls keep me young. Oh, I love you so much. 393 00:20:36,766 --> 00:20:38,961 Oh, my God, I remember this. 394 00:20:39,169 --> 00:20:42,297 - I haven't looked at that in forever. - Come check it out, Cady. 395 00:20:42,505 --> 00:20:43,733 It's our Burn Book. 396 00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:45,771 See, we cut out girls' pictures from the yearbook, 397 00:20:45,975 --> 00:20:47,909 and then we wrote comments. 398 00:20:48,111 --> 00:20:51,103 - "Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch." - Still true. 399 00:20:51,314 --> 00:20:54,772 - "Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin." - Still half true. 400 00:20:56,486 --> 00:20:59,785 "Amber D'Alessio." She made out with a hot dog. 401 00:21:00,156 --> 00:21:02,090 "Janis Ian, dyke." 402 00:21:02,992 --> 00:21:05,290 - Who is that? - I think that's that kid Damian. 403 00:21:05,762 --> 00:21:08,322 Yeah. He's almost too gay to function. 404 00:21:08,631 --> 00:21:11,259 That's funny. Put that in there. 405 00:21:11,468 --> 00:21:14,631 Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK when Janis said it. 406 00:21:15,472 --> 00:21:17,440 And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things 407 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,108 - about all the girls in our grade. - What does it say about me? 408 00:21:21,044 --> 00:21:23,638 - You're not in it. - Those bitches. 409 00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:25,542 - Will this minimize my pores? - No. Cady, 410 00:21:25,748 --> 00:21:27,215 you gotta steal that book. 411 00:21:27,417 --> 00:21:29,146 - No way! - Oh, come on. We could publish it, 412 00:21:29,352 --> 00:21:31,820 and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is. 413 00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:34,717 - I don't steal. - That is for your feet. 414 00:21:34,924 --> 00:21:37,916 Cady, there are two kinds of evil people. 415 00:21:38,127 --> 00:21:39,526 People who do evil stuff, 416 00:21:39,729 --> 00:21:43,324 and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it. 417 00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:48,070 Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit? 418 00:21:48,471 --> 00:21:49,904 Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury. 419 00:21:50,106 --> 00:21:51,539 I love seeing teachers outside of school. 420 00:21:51,741 --> 00:21:53,834 It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. 421 00:21:55,111 --> 00:21:57,011 Hey, guys, what's up? I didn't know you worked here. 422 00:21:57,213 --> 00:21:59,773 Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling. 423 00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:02,881 - You shopping? - No, I'm just here with my boyfriend. 424 00:22:05,688 --> 00:22:08,816 Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes. 425 00:22:09,025 --> 00:22:11,585 My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk. 426 00:22:11,794 --> 00:22:13,887 Your nana and I have that in common. 427 00:22:14,097 --> 00:22:16,793 No, actually, I'm just here because I bartend a couple nights a week 428 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,729 down at P. J. Calamity's. 429 00:22:19,769 --> 00:22:21,600 Cady, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know, 430 00:22:21,804 --> 00:22:23,169 because we start in a couple weeks 431 00:22:23,373 --> 00:22:25,000 and I would love to have a girl on the team, 432 00:22:25,208 --> 00:22:27,506 just, you know, so the team could meet a girl. 433 00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:29,678 - I think I'm gonna do it. - Great. 434 00:22:29,879 --> 00:22:32,143 You can't join Mathletes. It's social suicide. 435 00:22:32,348 --> 00:22:34,646 Thanks, Damian. 436 00:22:34,951 --> 00:22:38,409 Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. 437 00:22:38,621 --> 00:22:40,555 And I'll see you guys tomorrow. 438 00:22:40,757 --> 00:22:42,349 - Bye. - Bye. 439 00:22:42,559 --> 00:22:45,722 Oh, man, that is bleak. 440 00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:47,794 So when are you gonna see Regina again? 441 00:22:48,264 --> 00:22:50,061 I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird. 442 00:22:50,266 --> 00:22:54,100 Come on, she's never gonna find out. It'll be like our little secret. 443 00:22:57,507 --> 00:22:59,031 - Hello? - I know your secret. 444 00:22:59,242 --> 00:23:00,470 Oh, God, busted. 445 00:23:00,677 --> 00:23:02,907 Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool. 446 00:23:03,112 --> 00:23:04,704 Secret? What are you saying about? 447 00:23:04,914 --> 00:23:07,041 Gretchen told me that you like Aaron Samuels. 448 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:09,445 I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want. 449 00:23:09,652 --> 00:23:11,984 But let me just tell you something about Aaron: 450 00:23:12,188 --> 00:23:16,522 All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends. 451 00:23:16,726 --> 00:23:18,990 - Is that bad? - But if you like him... 452 00:23:19,195 --> 00:23:22,358 Whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want. 453 00:23:22,565 --> 00:23:25,432 Really? You would do that? I mean, nothing embarrassing, though, right? 454 00:23:25,635 --> 00:23:28,229 Oh, no, trust me. I know exactly how to play it. 455 00:23:28,638 --> 00:23:32,665 But wait. Aren't you so mad at Gretchen for telling me? 456 00:23:32,875 --> 00:23:34,240 - No. - Because if you are, 457 00:23:34,444 --> 00:23:37,641 you can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do. 458 00:23:37,847 --> 00:23:40,816 Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad. 459 00:23:41,017 --> 00:23:42,382 I mean, I guess she just likes the attention. 460 00:23:42,585 --> 00:23:44,212 See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you. 461 00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:45,978 I can't believe you think I like attention! 462 00:23:46,189 --> 00:23:48,885 OK, love you. See you tomorrow. 463 00:23:49,459 --> 00:23:51,620 I had survived my first three-way calling attack. 464 00:23:52,095 --> 00:23:55,553 And with Regina's blessing, I started talking to Aaron more and more. 465 00:23:55,932 --> 00:23:58,230 On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. 466 00:23:58,601 --> 00:24:00,193 It's October 3rd. 467 00:24:00,403 --> 00:24:02,268 Two weeks later, we spoke again. 468 00:24:02,472 --> 00:24:04,167 It's raining. 469 00:24:04,374 --> 00:24:05,898 Yeah. 470 00:24:06,109 --> 00:24:07,872 But I wanted things to move faster. 471 00:24:08,077 --> 00:24:10,443 So I followed my instincts. 472 00:24:10,647 --> 00:24:13,377 Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me? 473 00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:14,811 - But I wasn't lost. - Yeah. 474 00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:16,883 I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury was talking about. 475 00:24:17,086 --> 00:24:20,055 It's a factorial, so you multiply each one by N. 476 00:24:20,256 --> 00:24:21,484 Wrong. 477 00:24:21,691 --> 00:24:22,988 Is that the summation? 478 00:24:24,327 --> 00:24:25,658 Yeah, they're the same thing. 479 00:24:25,862 --> 00:24:27,727 Wrong. He was so wrong. 480 00:24:27,930 --> 00:24:31,161 Thanks. I... I get it now. 481 00:24:31,367 --> 00:24:35,030 Lights, please. OK. See you guys tomorrow. 482 00:24:36,939 --> 00:24:39,464 We're having a Halloween party at my friend Chris' tonight. 483 00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:41,943 You wanna come? 484 00:24:42,245 --> 00:24:43,803 Yeah, sure. 485 00:24:44,013 --> 00:24:46,243 Great. Here's where it is. 486 00:24:46,449 --> 00:24:48,747 It's a costume party. People get pretty into it. 487 00:24:49,118 --> 00:24:50,551 OK. 488 00:24:50,753 --> 00:24:53,881 That flier admits one person only, 489 00:24:54,090 --> 00:24:56,183 so don't bring some other guy with you. 490 00:24:56,626 --> 00:24:58,218 "Grool." 491 00:24:58,861 --> 00:25:01,159 I meant to say "cool" and then I started to say "great". 492 00:25:01,464 --> 00:25:04,490 Right. Well... grool. 493 00:25:05,435 --> 00:25:07,733 See you tonight. 494 00:25:09,072 --> 00:25:12,098 Hey, Africa. You staying for the Mathletes meeting? 495 00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:14,339 Yeah, I'll be right back. 496 00:25:16,079 --> 00:25:19,913 OK, I lied. But I had to go home and work on my costume. 497 00:25:20,450 --> 00:25:23,442 In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes 498 00:25:23,653 --> 00:25:24,984 and beg for candy. 499 00:25:25,188 --> 00:25:27,748 In Girl World, Halloween is the one nigth a year 500 00:25:27,957 --> 00:25:29,549 when a girl can dress like a total slut 501 00:25:29,759 --> 00:25:31,727 and no other girls can say anything about it. 502 00:25:31,928 --> 00:25:33,759 The hard-core girls just wear lingerie 503 00:25:33,963 --> 00:25:35,555 and some form of animal ears. 504 00:25:35,765 --> 00:25:37,562 Doesn't she look great, honey? 505 00:25:39,769 --> 00:25:42,602 - What are you? - I'm a mouse. 506 00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:46,598 Unfortunately, no one told me about the slut rule. 507 00:25:46,976 --> 00:25:49,536 So I showed up like this. 508 00:25:55,485 --> 00:25:56,975 Hey. 509 00:25:58,955 --> 00:26:01,719 Yes! Yes! 510 00:26:06,662 --> 00:26:08,152 Hey. 511 00:26:08,698 --> 00:26:10,461 Why are you dressed so scary? 512 00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:12,629 It's Halloween. 513 00:26:12,835 --> 00:26:14,325 Have you seen Jason? 514 00:26:14,670 --> 00:26:16,763 You know who's looking fine tonight? 515 00:26:16,973 --> 00:26:18,998 Seth Mosakowski. 516 00:26:19,208 --> 00:26:22,974 - OK, you did not just say that. - What? He's a good kisser. 517 00:26:23,179 --> 00:26:24,510 He's your cousin. 518 00:26:24,881 --> 00:26:26,473 Yeah, but he's my first cousin. 519 00:26:26,883 --> 00:26:28,851 - Right. - So you have your cousins 520 00:26:29,051 --> 00:26:30,712 and then you have your first cousins, 521 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,480 - then you have your second cousins... - No, honey. 522 00:26:34,157 --> 00:26:35,522 That's not right, is it? 523 00:26:35,725 --> 00:26:37,317 That is so not right. 524 00:26:37,527 --> 00:26:39,518 - Hey! - Hey. 525 00:26:39,729 --> 00:26:41,196 You made it. 526 00:26:41,397 --> 00:26:45,356 And you are... a zombie bride. 527 00:26:45,568 --> 00:26:47,263 An "ex-wife". 528 00:26:47,470 --> 00:26:49,495 Love it. Can I get you something to drink? 529 00:26:49,705 --> 00:26:51,172 - Yeah. - Be right back. 530 00:26:51,374 --> 00:26:53,103 Thanks. 531 00:26:54,710 --> 00:26:56,200 Karen, stop it. 532 00:26:56,612 --> 00:26:58,842 - Don't, Karen... - Hey, Seth! 533 00:27:02,518 --> 00:27:03,780 Hey. 534 00:27:03,986 --> 00:27:05,681 Oh, no. 535 00:27:05,888 --> 00:27:07,219 Didn't anybody tell you? 536 00:27:07,423 --> 00:27:08,981 You were supposed to wear a costume. 537 00:27:09,358 --> 00:27:12,327 Shut up. I need to talk to you. 538 00:27:12,528 --> 00:27:14,894 - You know that girl Cady? - Yeah, she's cool. 539 00:27:15,097 --> 00:27:16,394 I invited her tonight. 540 00:27:17,733 --> 00:27:20,167 Well, be careful because she has a huge crush on you. 541 00:27:20,570 --> 00:27:22,731 Really? How do you know? 542 00:27:23,472 --> 00:27:25,201 Because she told me. 543 00:27:25,408 --> 00:27:27,876 She tells everybody. It's kind of cute, actually. 544 00:27:28,077 --> 00:27:30,739 She's like a little girl. She, like, writes all over her notebook, 545 00:27:30,947 --> 00:27:32,278 "Mrs. Aaron Samuels." 546 00:27:32,648 --> 00:27:34,946 And she made this T-shirt that says "I heart Aaron" 547 00:27:35,151 --> 00:27:36,982 and she wears it under all her clothes. 548 00:27:37,186 --> 00:27:39,416 - Oh, come on. - Well, who can blame her? 549 00:27:39,622 --> 00:27:40,987 I mean, you're gorgeous. 550 00:27:42,692 --> 00:27:45,217 And OK, look, I'm not saying she's a stalker, 551 00:27:45,428 --> 00:27:47,953 but she saved this Kleenex you used 552 00:27:48,164 --> 00:27:51,600 and she said she's gonna do some kind of African voodoo with it 553 00:27:51,801 --> 00:27:53,462 to make you like her. 554 00:27:54,036 --> 00:27:55,264 What? 555 00:27:59,642 --> 00:28:00,870 This was it. 556 00:28:01,077 --> 00:28:03,443 Regina said she would talk to Aaron for me, and now she was. 557 00:28:03,646 --> 00:28:08,083 I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend, 558 00:28:08,284 --> 00:28:10,912 so just promise me you won't make fun of her. 559 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,678 Of course I'm not gonna make fun of her. 560 00:28:13,322 --> 00:28:14,949 How could Janis hate Regina? 561 00:28:15,157 --> 00:28:17,216 Ste was such a good... 562 00:28:18,227 --> 00:28:19,455 Slut! 563 00:28:26,068 --> 00:28:28,559 What are you doing? You broke up with me. 564 00:28:28,905 --> 00:28:31,601 That's crazy. Why would I break up with you? 565 00:28:31,807 --> 00:28:34,002 You're so hot. 566 00:28:40,917 --> 00:28:42,646 That's a scary mask, bro. 567 00:28:43,119 --> 00:28:44,711 I had never felt this feeling before. 568 00:28:44,921 --> 00:28:46,582 I could tear my heartbeat in my ears. 569 00:28:46,789 --> 00:28:48,916 My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt. 570 00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:52,185 I had this lump in my throat like after you dry-swallow a big pill. 571 00:28:52,395 --> 00:28:55,125 I hated Regina. I hated her! 572 00:29:11,213 --> 00:29:12,703 She took him back. 573 00:29:12,915 --> 00:29:14,576 Regina took Aaron back. 574 00:29:14,951 --> 00:29:17,977 - Oh, no, Cady. - Why would she do that? 575 00:29:18,187 --> 00:29:19,814 Because she's a life-ruiner. 576 00:29:20,022 --> 00:29:21,751 She ruins people's lives. 577 00:29:21,958 --> 00:29:24,051 When we were 13, she made people sign this petition 578 00:29:24,260 --> 00:29:26,125 - saying that Janis was... - Damian! Please! 579 00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:28,194 Look, she's not gonna get away with this again, OK? 580 00:29:28,397 --> 00:29:31,059 - We're gonna do something. - We are? 581 00:29:32,935 --> 00:29:34,926 Regina George is an evil dictator. 582 00:29:35,438 --> 00:29:37,497 Now, how do you overthrow a dictator? 583 00:29:37,707 --> 00:29:40,107 You cut off her resources. 584 00:29:40,309 --> 00:29:43,437 Regina would be nothing without her high-status man candy... 585 00:29:45,014 --> 00:29:46,538 ...technically good physique... 586 00:29:48,217 --> 00:29:50,412 ...and ignorant band of loyal followers. 587 00:29:52,855 --> 00:29:55,517 Now, Cady, if we want this to work, 588 00:29:55,725 --> 00:29:58,125 you are gonna have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong. 589 00:29:58,327 --> 00:29:59,954 Can you do it? 590 00:30:00,262 --> 00:30:01,524 I can do it. 591 00:30:01,731 --> 00:30:04,598 OK, let's rock this bitch. 592 00:30:06,135 --> 00:30:09,161 Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy. 593 00:30:09,372 --> 00:30:12,398 Regina wanted me to tell you that she was trying to hook you up with Aaron, 594 00:30:12,608 --> 00:30:14,803 but he was just interested in getting her back. 595 00:30:15,011 --> 00:30:16,342 And that's not Regina's fault. 596 00:30:16,545 --> 00:30:18,877 - No, I know. - OK, so you're not mad at Regina? 597 00:30:19,115 --> 00:30:20,639 - God, no. - Oh, OK, good. 598 00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:24,547 Because Regina wanted me to give you this. 599 00:30:28,024 --> 00:30:29,457 It's called the South Beach Fat Flush, 600 00:30:29,658 --> 00:30:31,888 and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours. 601 00:30:32,094 --> 00:30:33,322 This isn't even cranberry juice. 602 00:30:33,529 --> 00:30:35,622 It's cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar. 603 00:30:35,831 --> 00:30:38,925 - I wanna lose 3 pounds. - You're crazy. 604 00:30:40,002 --> 00:30:43,494 Why do you wear your hair like that? You hair looks so sexy pushed back. 605 00:30:43,806 --> 00:30:46,798 Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back. 606 00:30:47,009 --> 00:30:49,739 Regina was dangling Aaron in front of me on purpose. 607 00:30:49,945 --> 00:30:52,345 I knew how this would be settled in the animal world. 608 00:31:02,058 --> 00:31:03,286 But this was Girl World. 609 00:31:03,492 --> 00:31:05,255 Your hair looks sexy pushed back. 610 00:31:06,729 --> 00:31:10,256 And in Girl World, all the figthing had to be sneaky. 611 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:15,061 All this cranberry juice is making me break out. 612 00:31:15,538 --> 00:31:17,904 Wait. I have this really good skin stuff I'll bring you. 613 00:31:18,107 --> 00:31:19,074 OK. 614 00:31:19,608 --> 00:31:22,975 We kept our eyes open for opportunities for sabotage. 615 00:31:29,285 --> 00:31:31,116 Regina. 616 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,810 - Here you go. - Thank you. 617 00:31:37,293 --> 00:31:38,726 - Hey. - Hey. 618 00:31:43,299 --> 00:31:45,961 Your face smells like peppermint. 619 00:32:19,401 --> 00:32:20,868 This is ass, you guys. 620 00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:25,270 It's been a month, and all we've done is make Regina's face smell like a foot. 621 00:32:25,474 --> 00:32:26,702 I've been really busy with choir. 622 00:32:26,909 --> 00:32:28,467 We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. 623 00:32:28,677 --> 00:32:30,406 We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock 624 00:32:30,613 --> 00:32:32,308 on Regina's whole dirty history. 625 00:32:32,515 --> 00:32:34,039 - Say "crack" again. - Crack. 626 00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:36,241 - All right, let's reconvene tonight. - I can't. 627 00:32:36,452 --> 00:32:38,920 I have to go to Regina's to practise for the talent show. 628 00:32:39,121 --> 00:32:41,988 - We're doing a dance to this song... - "Jingle Bell Rock." 629 00:32:42,191 --> 00:32:43,419 You guys know that song? 630 00:32:43,626 --> 00:32:46,117 Everybody in the English-speaking world knows that song. 631 00:32:46,328 --> 00:32:47,955 They do it every year. 632 00:32:48,164 --> 00:32:50,064 Well, I have to learn it. 633 00:32:50,266 --> 00:32:51,961 Go. 634 00:32:52,268 --> 00:32:55,135 - Hey. - Why were you talking to Janis Ian? 635 00:32:55,337 --> 00:32:56,736 I don't know, I mean, she's so weird. 636 00:32:56,939 --> 00:32:59,772 She just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack. 637 00:33:00,576 --> 00:33:01,873 She's so pathetic. 638 00:33:02,511 --> 00:33:04,502 Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. 639 00:33:04,713 --> 00:33:06,237 We were best friends in middle school. 640 00:33:06,448 --> 00:33:07,676 I know, right? 641 00:33:07,883 --> 00:33:10,716 It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. 642 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,514 So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, 643 00:33:13,722 --> 00:33:16,748 Kyle, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana. 644 00:33:16,959 --> 00:33:19,359 And Janis was, like, weirdly jealous of him. 645 00:33:19,562 --> 00:33:21,723 Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, 646 00:33:21,931 --> 00:33:23,922 she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" 647 00:33:24,133 --> 00:33:27,000 And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" 648 00:33:27,203 --> 00:33:29,967 So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, 649 00:33:30,172 --> 00:33:34,108 I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian." 650 00:33:34,310 --> 00:33:36,710 I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. 651 00:33:36,912 --> 00:33:38,971 There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. 652 00:33:39,181 --> 00:33:40,671 I mean, right? She was a lesbian. 653 00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:43,210 So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her. 654 00:33:43,419 --> 00:33:44,784 It was so retarded. 655 00:33:44,987 --> 00:33:47,251 And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her. 656 00:33:47,456 --> 00:33:49,356 When she came back in the fall for high school, 657 00:33:49,558 --> 00:33:52,049 all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, 658 00:33:52,261 --> 00:33:53,592 and now I guess she's on crack. 659 00:33:55,264 --> 00:33:57,095 Oh, my God! I love your skirt. 660 00:33:57,299 --> 00:33:59,028 Where did you get it? 661 00:33:59,235 --> 00:34:00,793 It was my mom's in the '80s. 662 00:34:01,237 --> 00:34:03,398 Vintage. So adorable. 663 00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:05,301 Thanks. 664 00:34:05,874 --> 00:34:08,035 That is the ugliest F-ing skirt I've ever seen. 665 00:34:09,645 --> 00:34:12,273 Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it? 666 00:34:15,651 --> 00:34:17,414 So are you gonna send any candy canes? 667 00:34:17,620 --> 00:34:19,884 No. I don't send them, I just get them. 668 00:34:20,389 --> 00:34:22,755 So you better send me one, byotch. 669 00:34:22,958 --> 00:34:24,186 Love you. 670 00:34:25,194 --> 00:34:27,094 I was definitely sending her one. 671 00:34:27,296 --> 00:34:29,924 I was gonna use three candy canes to crack Gretchen Wieners. 672 00:34:30,132 --> 00:34:31,360 Three, please. 673 00:34:31,567 --> 00:34:35,230 "Why, Man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus" 674 00:34:35,437 --> 00:34:37,098 might translate into 675 00:34:37,306 --> 00:34:39,672 "Why is he so huge and obnoxious?" 676 00:34:42,544 --> 00:34:45,741 - Candy cane-grams! - OK, hurry up. 677 00:34:45,948 --> 00:34:48,576 Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you. 678 00:34:48,784 --> 00:34:50,274 Glenn Cocco? 679 00:34:50,486 --> 00:34:54,183 Four for you, Glenn Cocco. You go, Glenn Cocco. 680 00:34:54,390 --> 00:34:56,449 And Cady Heron. 681 00:34:56,659 --> 00:34:57,956 Do we have a Cady Heron here? 682 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,685 - It's Cady. - Oh, Cady, here you go. 683 00:35:00,896 --> 00:35:04,297 One for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners. Bye. 684 00:35:06,368 --> 00:35:07,596 Who's that from? 685 00:35:07,803 --> 00:35:10,397 "Thanks for being such a great friend. Love, Regina." 686 00:35:10,606 --> 00:35:12,267 That's so sweet. 687 00:35:12,608 --> 00:35:14,974 OK, back to Caesar. 688 00:35:15,377 --> 00:35:17,345 Once Gretchen thought Regina was mad at her, 689 00:35:17,546 --> 00:35:19,343 the secrets started pouring out. 690 00:35:19,548 --> 00:35:21,573 All I had to do was wait for one we could use. 691 00:35:21,784 --> 00:35:23,251 Thank you. 692 00:35:24,887 --> 00:35:27,947 Welcome to the North Shore High School winter talent show. 693 00:35:28,157 --> 00:35:30,819 Let me hear you make some noise. 694 00:35:35,731 --> 00:35:36,959 All right, settle down. 695 00:35:38,434 --> 00:35:41,767 Our first act calls himself a star on the rise. 696 00:35:41,970 --> 00:35:44,234 Let's hear it for Damian. 697 00:35:50,145 --> 00:35:52,045 Don't look at me. 698 00:35:52,915 --> 00:35:56,851 Every day is so wonderful 699 00:35:57,286 --> 00:36:01,347 I mean, why would Regina send you guys candy canes and not me? 700 00:36:01,557 --> 00:36:03,024 Maybe she forgot about you. 701 00:36:03,225 --> 00:36:05,090 Yeah, Regina has been acting kind of weird lately. 702 00:36:05,294 --> 00:36:06,989 I mean, is something bothering her? 703 00:36:07,196 --> 00:36:10,359 Well, I mean, her parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore, 704 00:36:10,566 --> 00:36:11,828 if that's what you mean. 705 00:36:12,768 --> 00:36:15,328 Oh, my God. Don't tell her I told you that. 706 00:36:15,537 --> 00:36:20,406 I am beautiful in every single way 707 00:36:20,609 --> 00:36:23,879 Yes, words can't bring me down 708 00:36:23,879 --> 00:36:24,868 Yes, words can't bring me down 709 00:36:25,814 --> 00:36:29,011 Don't you bring me down today 710 00:36:29,218 --> 00:36:31,379 I mean, no offense, 711 00:36:31,587 --> 00:36:33,214 but why would she send you a candy cane? 712 00:36:33,422 --> 00:36:34,855 She doesn't even like you that much. 713 00:36:35,891 --> 00:36:37,119 Maybe she feels weird around me 714 00:36:37,326 --> 00:36:40,591 because I'm the only person that knows about her nose job. 715 00:36:41,497 --> 00:36:44,330 Oh, my God. Pretend you didn't hear that. 716 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,267 Yo, yo, yo 717 00:36:46,468 --> 00:36:50,336 All you sucker MCs Ain't got nothing on me 718 00:36:50,539 --> 00:36:52,530 From my grades to my lines You can't touch Kevin G 719 00:36:52,741 --> 00:36:54,868 I'm a Mathlete So nerd is inferred 720 00:36:55,077 --> 00:36:57,102 But forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the Third 721 00:36:57,312 --> 00:36:59,007 Shaken not stirred I'm Kevin Gnapoor 722 00:36:59,214 --> 00:37:00,909 The G is silent when I sneak in your door 723 00:37:01,116 --> 00:37:03,107 And make love to your woman On the bathroom floor 724 00:37:03,318 --> 00:37:05,377 I don't play it like Staggy You'll know it was me 725 00:37:05,587 --> 00:37:07,646 Because the next time you see her She'll be like 726 00:37:07,856 --> 00:37:10,757 - Kevin G! - Thank you, Kevin, that's enough. 727 00:37:10,959 --> 00:37:12,483 Happy holidays, everybody. 728 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,995 K.G. And the Power of Three. 729 00:37:20,869 --> 00:37:22,632 That was something. 730 00:37:23,338 --> 00:37:25,806 Does it bother you that they still use your original choreography? 731 00:37:26,008 --> 00:37:27,236 Shut up. 732 00:37:27,443 --> 00:37:29,070 Damn. 733 00:37:29,344 --> 00:37:30,902 - What? - I'd rather see you out there 734 00:37:31,113 --> 00:37:32,341 shaking that thing. 735 00:37:35,317 --> 00:37:36,579 Gretchen, switch sides with Cady. 736 00:37:37,386 --> 00:37:38,751 But I'm always on your left. 737 00:37:38,954 --> 00:37:42,151 That was when there were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle. 738 00:37:42,357 --> 00:37:44,518 But the whole dance will be backwards. 739 00:37:44,726 --> 00:37:46,250 I'm always on your left. 740 00:37:46,462 --> 00:37:49,431 And right now you're getting on my last nerve. Switch. 741 00:37:51,066 --> 00:37:54,001 And finally, please welcome to the stage 742 00:37:54,203 --> 00:37:57,195 Santa's Helpers doing "Jingle Bell Rock". 743 00:38:08,484 --> 00:38:12,318 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 744 00:38:12,521 --> 00:38:16,082 Jingle bells swing And jingle bells ring 745 00:38:16,291 --> 00:38:19,624 Snowing and blowing Up bustels of fun 746 00:38:20,362 --> 00:38:23,889 Now the jingle top has begun 747 00:38:24,099 --> 00:38:27,500 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 748 00:38:27,703 --> 00:38:31,366 Jingle bells chime In jingle bell time 749 00:38:31,573 --> 00:38:35,509 Dancing and prancing In Jingle Bell Square 750 00:38:35,711 --> 00:38:37,042 In the fr... 751 00:38:45,087 --> 00:38:46,384 Jason? 752 00:38:52,961 --> 00:38:56,829 What a brigth time It's the rigth time 753 00:38:57,032 --> 00:38:59,865 To rock the nigth away 754 00:39:00,536 --> 00:39:05,269 Jingle bell time Is a swell time 755 00:39:05,474 --> 00:39:08,739 To go riding in a one-torse sleigh 756 00:39:08,944 --> 00:39:12,380 Giddyap jingle torse Pick up your feet 757 00:39:12,581 --> 00:39:15,948 Jingle around the clock 758 00:39:16,151 --> 00:39:19,780 Mix and mingle in a jingling beat 759 00:39:19,988 --> 00:39:21,683 That's the jingle bell 760 00:39:21,890 --> 00:39:23,380 That's the jingle bell 761 00:39:23,592 --> 00:39:26,891 That's the jingle bell rock 762 00:39:41,643 --> 00:39:42,871 That was the best it ever went! 763 00:39:43,078 --> 00:39:45,137 - That was awesome. - Lip gloss. 764 00:39:45,714 --> 00:39:47,739 - Hey, good job, Africa. - Thanks. 765 00:39:48,317 --> 00:39:50,285 Cady's blushing. Oh, my God. 766 00:39:50,485 --> 00:39:52,851 - You totally have a crush on that guy. - No, I don't. 767 00:39:53,055 --> 00:39:54,784 That's why you wanted to join the Mathletes. 768 00:39:54,990 --> 00:39:56,651 Mathletes? You hate math. 769 00:39:56,858 --> 00:39:58,485 Look how red she is. 770 00:39:58,694 --> 00:40:00,924 You love him. And he totally complimented you. 771 00:40:01,129 --> 00:40:02,756 That is so fetch. 772 00:40:03,198 --> 00:40:05,496 Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen. 773 00:40:05,701 --> 00:40:07,168 It's not going to happen. 774 00:40:12,507 --> 00:40:14,839 Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant 775 00:40:15,043 --> 00:40:18,979 while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? 776 00:40:19,181 --> 00:40:20,773 What's so great about Caesar? 777 00:40:20,983 --> 00:40:22,644 Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. 778 00:40:22,851 --> 00:40:24,478 OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. 779 00:40:24,686 --> 00:40:27,052 People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. 780 00:40:27,255 --> 00:40:28,745 And when did it become OK for one person 781 00:40:28,957 --> 00:40:30,219 to be the boss of everybody? 782 00:40:30,425 --> 00:40:31,892 Because that's not what Rome is about! 783 00:40:32,094 --> 00:40:34,892 We should totally just stab Caesar!" 784 00:40:36,698 --> 00:40:38,928 Gretchen Wieners had cracked. 785 00:40:39,801 --> 00:40:43,430 OK, if you even knew how mean she really is. 786 00:40:43,972 --> 00:40:47,032 You know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? 787 00:40:47,242 --> 00:40:50,370 Yeah. Two years ago, she told me that hoop earrings were her thing 788 00:40:50,579 --> 00:40:52,274 and that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. 789 00:40:52,614 --> 00:40:54,809 And then for my Hanukkah, my parents got me this pair 790 00:40:55,017 --> 00:40:57,781 of really expensive white-gold hoops. 791 00:40:57,986 --> 00:41:00,887 And I had to pretend like I didn't even like them, 792 00:41:01,323 --> 00:41:02,551 and it was so sad. 793 00:41:03,225 --> 00:41:04,749 And you know she cheats on Aaron? 794 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,155 Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep. 795 00:41:07,362 --> 00:41:10,092 But really, she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room 796 00:41:10,298 --> 00:41:11,993 above the auditorium, 797 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,498 and I never told anybody that, because... 798 00:41:14,703 --> 00:41:18,161 ...l'm such a good friend. 799 00:41:20,542 --> 00:41:24,308 Jackpot. Gretchen's secret had put the plan back in motion. 800 00:41:24,513 --> 00:41:26,378 After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday 801 00:41:26,581 --> 00:41:28,708 to help Aaron catch Regina in the act. 802 00:42:00,382 --> 00:42:01,610 Hey. 803 00:42:01,817 --> 00:42:03,307 Hey, what's up? 804 00:42:03,518 --> 00:42:05,076 My purse! 805 00:42:05,887 --> 00:42:07,582 Looks like he's headed for the projection room 806 00:42:07,789 --> 00:42:09,416 above the auditorium! 807 00:42:19,101 --> 00:42:20,932 Coach Carr? 808 00:42:22,204 --> 00:42:23,899 Trang Pak? 809 00:42:24,106 --> 00:42:24,573 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 810 00:42:24,573 --> 00:42:26,336 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 811 00:42:26,541 --> 00:42:29,169 No, we just have to regroup. Think outside our box. 812 00:42:29,377 --> 00:42:31,004 What are Kälteen bars? 813 00:42:31,213 --> 00:42:33,113 They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars. 814 00:42:33,315 --> 00:42:36,250 My mom used to give them to the kids in Africa to help them gain weight. 815 00:42:40,355 --> 00:42:43,222 They're these weird nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight. 816 00:42:43,425 --> 00:42:45,120 Give me it. 817 00:42:47,963 --> 00:42:50,431 It's all in, like, Swedish or something. 818 00:42:50,899 --> 00:42:53,060 Yeah, you know, there's some weird ingredient in them 819 00:42:53,268 --> 00:42:55,031 that's not legal in the U.S. yet. 820 00:42:55,237 --> 00:42:57,137 - Ephedrine? - No. 821 00:42:57,339 --> 00:42:59,466 - Phentermine. - No. 822 00:43:01,009 --> 00:43:04,410 It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs. 823 00:43:04,746 --> 00:43:07,112 I really wanna lose 3 pounds. 824 00:43:08,383 --> 00:43:09,816 Oh, my God, what are you talking about? 825 00:43:10,018 --> 00:43:11,280 You're so skinny. 826 00:43:11,486 --> 00:43:12,851 Shut up. 827 00:43:13,622 --> 00:43:15,249 The weird thing about hanging out with Regina 828 00:43:15,457 --> 00:43:17,220 was that I could hate her, and at the same time, 829 00:43:17,425 --> 00:43:18,756 I still wanted her to like me. 830 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,326 OK. You have really good eyebrows. 831 00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:23,157 - Thanks. - Move. 832 00:43:23,498 --> 00:43:26,092 Same with Gretchen. The meaner Regina was to her, 833 00:43:26,301 --> 00:43:28,462 the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. 834 00:43:28,670 --> 00:43:31,070 Ste knew it was better to be in The Plastics, hating life 835 00:43:31,273 --> 00:43:32,934 than to not be in at all. 836 00:43:33,375 --> 00:43:36,344 Because being with The Plastics was like being famous. 837 00:43:36,878 --> 00:43:38,140 People looked at you all the time, 838 00:43:38,346 --> 00:43:40,610 and everybody just knew stuff about you. 839 00:43:40,816 --> 00:43:42,977 That new girl moved here from Africa. 840 00:43:43,185 --> 00:43:45,585 I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip-flops, 841 00:43:45,787 --> 00:43:48,347 so I bought Army pants and flip-flops. 842 00:43:48,557 --> 00:43:50,081 That Cady girl is hot. 843 00:43:50,292 --> 00:43:52,260 She might even be hotter than Regina George. 844 00:43:52,460 --> 00:43:55,190 I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. 845 00:43:55,397 --> 00:43:58,264 The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party. 846 00:43:58,466 --> 00:44:00,696 They've been inseparable ever since. 847 00:44:11,313 --> 00:44:12,712 I was a woman possessed. 848 00:44:12,914 --> 00:44:15,576 I spent about 80 percent of my time talking about Regina. 849 00:44:15,784 --> 00:44:17,115 And the other 20 percent of the time, 850 00:44:17,319 --> 00:44:19,014 I was praying for someone else to bring her up 851 00:44:19,221 --> 00:44:21,018 so I could talk about her more. 852 00:44:21,223 --> 00:44:23,418 She's not even that good-looking if you really look at her. 853 00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:25,525 I don't know. Now that's she's getting fatter, 854 00:44:25,727 --> 00:44:27,160 she's got pretty big jugs. 855 00:44:27,362 --> 00:44:28,954 I could hear people getting bored with me. 856 00:44:29,164 --> 00:44:32,600 But I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. 857 00:44:33,001 --> 00:44:36,334 I have this theory that if you cut all her hair off, she'd look like a British man. 858 00:44:36,538 --> 00:44:39,507 Yeah, I know. You told me that one before. 859 00:44:40,041 --> 00:44:41,303 Hey, I'm having an art show. 860 00:44:41,509 --> 00:44:43,568 So why don't you take a night off from your double life. 861 00:44:43,778 --> 00:44:46,178 - I want you to see it. - Coolness. 862 00:44:47,849 --> 00:44:49,077 What is that smell? 863 00:44:49,284 --> 00:44:51,115 Oh, Regina gave me some perfume. 864 00:44:51,319 --> 00:44:53,219 You smell like a baby prostitute. 865 00:44:53,421 --> 00:44:54,683 Thanks. 866 00:44:56,091 --> 00:44:59,356 Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Aaron. 867 00:44:59,561 --> 00:45:02,189 I don't get this. Do you get any of this? 868 00:45:02,631 --> 00:45:04,428 Nice job, Cady. 869 00:45:05,567 --> 00:45:07,694 Kind of seems like you get it. 870 00:45:07,969 --> 00:45:10,699 If I was gonna keep this going, I was gonna have to really commit. 871 00:45:13,441 --> 00:45:14,874 Not your best. 872 00:45:15,677 --> 00:45:17,770 Damn, Africa, what happened? 873 00:45:17,979 --> 00:45:20,675 - How'd you do? - Not so good. 874 00:45:20,882 --> 00:45:22,474 You know, I think I need a tutor. 875 00:45:23,218 --> 00:45:26,153 I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get together after school or something. 876 00:45:26,354 --> 00:45:28,117 Do you think Regina would mind? 877 00:45:28,323 --> 00:45:29,881 No. You guys are friends. 878 00:45:32,594 --> 00:45:34,585 Well, maybe we just won't tell her. 879 00:45:35,096 --> 00:45:37,326 So, what did you get for this one? 880 00:45:37,532 --> 00:45:39,329 Well, the first time I did it, I got a zero. 881 00:45:39,534 --> 00:45:42,367 - Wrong. - But then when I checked it, I got... 882 00:45:42,570 --> 00:45:44,094 ...one. - There you go. 883 00:45:44,306 --> 00:45:45,898 I got one too. 884 00:45:46,541 --> 00:45:49,066 Yeah, you have to check it because sometimes the product 885 00:45:49,277 --> 00:45:51,768 of two negative integers is a positive number. 886 00:45:52,247 --> 00:45:54,442 Yeah, like negative four and negative six. 887 00:45:55,116 --> 00:45:57,778 That's right. That's good. 888 00:45:57,986 --> 00:46:00,079 Well, you're a good tutor. 889 00:46:08,463 --> 00:46:12,797 Man, look, I... I can't do this. 890 00:46:13,001 --> 00:46:15,765 - It's not fair to Regina. - Why do you like her? 891 00:46:15,971 --> 00:46:18,667 Look, I know she can be really mean sometimes, but... 892 00:46:18,873 --> 00:46:20,773 - Then why do you like her? - Why do you? 893 00:46:21,343 --> 00:46:23,038 Look, there's good and bad to everybody. Right? 894 00:46:23,244 --> 00:46:24,939 Regina's just... 895 00:46:25,146 --> 00:46:27,979 - She's just more up-front about it. - Oh, no. It was coming up. 896 00:46:28,183 --> 00:46:29,912 The word vomit. I didn't mean to say it, but... 897 00:46:30,118 --> 00:46:31,881 She's cheating on you! 898 00:46:34,055 --> 00:46:35,488 What? 899 00:46:40,061 --> 00:46:42,359 Did he say why? 900 00:46:42,564 --> 00:46:44,464 Somebody told him about Shane Oman. 901 00:46:45,033 --> 00:46:46,364 Who? 902 00:46:46,568 --> 00:46:48,058 He said some guy on the baseball team. 903 00:46:48,269 --> 00:46:50,396 Baseball team? 904 00:46:50,605 --> 00:46:54,006 I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him. 905 00:46:54,209 --> 00:46:55,733 You wanna do something fun? 906 00:46:56,578 --> 00:46:58,136 You wanna go to Taco Bell? 907 00:46:58,346 --> 00:47:01,679 I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. 908 00:47:01,883 --> 00:47:04,716 God, Karen, you are so stupid! 909 00:47:04,919 --> 00:47:06,409 Regina, wait. Talk to me. 910 00:47:06,621 --> 00:47:09,715 - Nobody understands me. - I understand you. 911 00:47:10,158 --> 00:47:11,750 You're not stupid, Karen. 912 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,155 No. I am, actually. 913 00:47:14,362 --> 00:47:16,557 I'm failing almost everything. 914 00:47:16,765 --> 00:47:18,699 Well, there must be something you're good at. 915 00:47:20,502 --> 00:47:22,265 I can put my whole fist in my mouth. 916 00:47:22,470 --> 00:47:23,698 Wanna see? 917 00:47:23,905 --> 00:47:25,736 No. That's OK. 918 00:47:25,940 --> 00:47:27,202 Anything else? 919 00:47:28,209 --> 00:47:30,040 I'm kind of psychic. 920 00:47:30,245 --> 00:47:32,110 I have a fifth sense. 921 00:47:32,881 --> 00:47:36,180 - What do you mean? - It's like I have ESPN or something. 922 00:47:36,718 --> 00:47:40,017 My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain. 923 00:47:41,489 --> 00:47:44,049 Really? That's amazing. 924 00:47:44,993 --> 00:47:47,928 Well, they can tell when it's raining. 925 00:47:51,933 --> 00:47:53,764 I have to admit, I was mildly horrified 926 00:47:53,968 --> 00:47:56,266 when Aaron didn't immediately ask me to be his girlfriend. 927 00:47:56,471 --> 00:47:58,701 I mean, I know he was sad, but how much time did he need? 928 00:47:58,907 --> 00:48:00,397 Regina had moved on. 929 00:48:03,211 --> 00:48:05,577 Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? 930 00:48:06,114 --> 00:48:07,479 A condom? 931 00:48:07,682 --> 00:48:11,118 Let me know. Oh, God love you. 932 00:48:11,319 --> 00:48:13,048 But overall, the plan was going pretty well. 933 00:48:13,254 --> 00:48:15,381 Aaron had dumped Regina, and she was unknowingly 934 00:48:15,590 --> 00:48:17,251 eating 5,000 calories a day. 935 00:48:17,459 --> 00:48:19,518 It was time to turn our attention to the army of skanks. 936 00:48:21,162 --> 00:48:23,932 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 937 00:48:23,932 --> 00:48:25,763 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 938 00:48:26,134 --> 00:48:28,329 Regina George. 939 00:48:29,871 --> 00:48:31,896 Gretchen Wieners. 940 00:48:33,942 --> 00:48:35,170 Janis Ian. 941 00:48:36,010 --> 00:48:38,171 What is happening to the world? 942 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,313 And the final nominee... 943 00:48:40,515 --> 00:48:43,006 I couldn't help myself. It was so easy. 944 00:48:43,218 --> 00:48:44,446 ... is Cady Heron. 945 00:48:45,186 --> 00:48:47,620 Damian, you put me in there too? That's not part of the plan. 946 00:48:47,822 --> 00:48:49,449 I didn't put you in there. 947 00:48:49,657 --> 00:48:51,750 You mean I'm really nominated? 948 00:48:55,697 --> 00:48:58,257 In January, Regina had put a Spring Fling dress on hold 949 00:48:58,466 --> 00:48:59,990 at a store called 1-3-5. 950 00:49:00,201 --> 00:49:02,192 But being Plastic, she needed our advice 951 00:49:02,403 --> 00:49:03,631 before she could actually buy it. 952 00:49:03,838 --> 00:49:05,533 Can someone zip me up? 953 00:49:08,409 --> 00:49:10,969 - It won't close. - It's a 5. 954 00:49:11,179 --> 00:49:12,806 OK, it must be marked wrong. 955 00:49:13,014 --> 00:49:15,881 Cady, all I've been eating are these Kälteen bars. They suck. 956 00:49:16,084 --> 00:49:18,245 No, no, this is just how they work. 957 00:49:18,453 --> 00:49:19,818 This is all your water weight. 958 00:49:20,021 --> 00:49:22,649 First you bloat, and then you drop 10 pounds like that: 959 00:49:23,424 --> 00:49:25,756 Well, the Kälteen bars have burned up all your carbs, 960 00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:27,689 and now your body's just running on water. 961 00:49:27,896 --> 00:49:29,955 But once the water's gone, then you'll be all muscle. 962 00:49:30,165 --> 00:49:31,860 It explains it all on the label. 963 00:49:32,066 --> 00:49:33,499 You know Swedish? 964 00:49:33,701 --> 00:49:36,329 Yeah, everyone in Africa can read Swedish. 965 00:49:36,905 --> 00:49:38,964 Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up? 966 00:49:39,174 --> 00:49:42,075 Sorry. We only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. 967 00:49:42,277 --> 00:49:43,505 You could try Sears. 968 00:49:55,490 --> 00:49:57,151 Cady. 969 00:49:57,358 --> 00:50:00,418 I need your parents to sign this so they know that you're failing. 970 00:50:01,095 --> 00:50:02,323 Failing? 971 00:50:02,530 --> 00:50:04,430 You know what's weird about your quizzes, Cady, 972 00:50:04,632 --> 00:50:07,396 is that all the work is right and just the answers are wrong. 973 00:50:07,769 --> 00:50:09,964 - Really? - Really. 974 00:50:10,171 --> 00:50:12,036 Cady, I know that having a boyfriend 975 00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:15,073 may seem like the most important thing in the world right now, 976 00:50:15,276 --> 00:50:17,904 but you don't have to dumb yourself down to get guys to like you. 977 00:50:18,112 --> 00:50:19,704 - How would you know? - I know, 978 00:50:19,914 --> 00:50:21,882 "How would I know", right? 979 00:50:22,083 --> 00:50:25,177 I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced. 980 00:50:25,386 --> 00:50:28,412 The only guy that ever calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. 981 00:50:28,990 --> 00:50:30,218 And you know why? 982 00:50:30,425 --> 00:50:32,985 Because I'm a pusher. I push people. 983 00:50:33,194 --> 00:50:35,958 I pushed my husband into law school. That was a bust. 984 00:50:36,164 --> 00:50:38,428 I pushed myself into working three jobs. 985 00:50:38,633 --> 00:50:40,032 And now I'm gonna push you 986 00:50:40,235 --> 00:50:42,135 because I know you're smarter than this. 987 00:50:42,337 --> 00:50:44,464 Thanks, Ms. Norbury. And if there's anything I can do 988 00:50:44,672 --> 00:50:46,037 for extra credit, please let me know. 989 00:50:46,241 --> 00:50:47,606 Oh, I will. 990 00:50:48,243 --> 00:50:50,541 I hate her! I mean, she's totally failing me on purpose 991 00:50:50,745 --> 00:50:52,372 because I didn't join those stupid Mathletes! 992 00:50:52,580 --> 00:50:53,808 She was so queer. 993 00:50:54,015 --> 00:50:56,609 She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady. I'm a pusher." 994 00:50:57,685 --> 00:50:58,913 What does that even mean? 995 00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,111 - Like a drug pusher? - Probably. 996 00:51:01,322 --> 00:51:02,846 She said she works three jobs. 997 00:51:03,057 --> 00:51:04,615 You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side 998 00:51:04,826 --> 00:51:06,054 to pay for her pathetic divorce. 999 00:51:06,261 --> 00:51:08,126 You let it out, honey. 1000 00:51:08,329 --> 00:51:10,297 Put it in the book. 1001 00:51:15,003 --> 00:51:17,130 I know it may look like I'd become a bitch, 1002 00:51:17,338 --> 00:51:19,772 but that's only because I was acting like a bitch. 1003 00:51:19,974 --> 00:51:22,670 Hey, I called you last night. How come you didn't call me back? 1004 00:51:22,877 --> 00:51:24,811 Oh, I got busy. Sorry. 1005 00:51:25,013 --> 00:51:27,504 So you need a ride to my art show this weekend? 1006 00:51:28,149 --> 00:51:30,310 No. I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1007 00:51:30,518 --> 00:51:32,042 I'm so sorry. 1008 00:51:32,253 --> 00:51:33,845 Well, you wanna watch a movie tonight? 1009 00:51:34,055 --> 00:51:37,252 Can't. I'm doing major Plastic sabotage tonight. 1010 00:51:37,492 --> 00:51:39,983 But we don't have anything planned for tonight. 1011 00:51:40,194 --> 00:51:42,424 Oh, I planned this one on my own. 1012 00:51:42,630 --> 00:51:43,858 Love you. Bye. 1013 00:51:46,834 --> 00:51:48,062 Gretchen thinks you're mad at her 1014 00:51:48,269 --> 00:51:49,896 because she's running for Spring Fling Queen. 1015 00:51:50,104 --> 00:51:53,164 Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her. I'm worried about her. 1016 00:51:53,374 --> 00:51:55,399 I think somebody nominated her as a joke or something. 1017 00:51:55,610 --> 00:51:58,670 And when nobody votes for her, she's gonna have a total meltdown. 1018 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,178 And who's gonna have to take care of her? Me. 1019 00:52:01,382 --> 00:52:04,749 So you don't think anyone will vote for her? 1020 00:52:04,952 --> 00:52:06,715 Cady, she's not pretty. 1021 00:52:06,921 --> 00:52:09,048 I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever. 1022 00:52:09,257 --> 00:52:11,316 The Spring Fling Queen is always pretty. 1023 00:52:11,526 --> 00:52:13,585 And the crazy thing is is that it should be Karen, 1024 00:52:13,795 --> 00:52:16,389 but people forget about her because she's such a slut. 1025 00:52:16,597 --> 00:52:18,622 Anyway, I gotta go. I'm going to bed. 1026 00:52:21,736 --> 00:52:24,102 Well, she's not mad at you. 1027 00:52:24,305 --> 00:52:26,933 - Hold on. - Are you OK? 1028 00:52:34,215 --> 00:52:36,274 - Hello? - If someone said something bad 1029 00:52:36,484 --> 00:52:38,179 about you, you'd want me to tell you, right? 1030 00:52:39,487 --> 00:52:40,818 - No. - What if it was someone 1031 00:52:41,022 --> 00:52:42,455 you thought was your friend? 1032 00:52:42,657 --> 00:52:44,648 What are you...? Hold on. Other line. 1033 00:52:44,859 --> 00:52:46,850 - I'm not taking this anymore. - Good for you, Gretch. 1034 00:52:47,061 --> 00:52:48,494 - Hello? - Let's go out. 1035 00:52:48,696 --> 00:52:50,789 OK. Hold on. I'm on the other line with Gretchen. 1036 00:52:50,998 --> 00:52:53,364 Don't invite Gretchen. She's driving me nuts. 1037 00:52:53,568 --> 00:52:55,195 - Hold on. - OK, hurry up. 1038 00:52:56,304 --> 00:52:57,532 It's Regina. 1039 00:52:57,739 --> 00:53:00,503 She wants to hang out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you. 1040 00:53:00,708 --> 00:53:02,335 Do not hang out with her. 1041 00:53:02,543 --> 00:53:05,137 - Why? - You don't want me to tell you. 1042 00:53:05,346 --> 00:53:06,870 You can tell me. Hold on. 1043 00:53:08,549 --> 00:53:10,949 Oh, my God, she's so annoying. 1044 00:53:11,152 --> 00:53:12,380 Who is? 1045 00:53:12,587 --> 00:53:14,612 - Who's this? - Gretchen. 1046 00:53:14,822 --> 00:53:16,881 Right. Hold on. 1047 00:53:18,326 --> 00:53:22,763 - Oh, my God, she's so annoying. - I know. Just get rid of her. 1048 00:53:24,632 --> 00:53:25,860 OK. What is it? 1049 00:53:26,067 --> 00:53:28,968 Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a slut. 1050 00:53:29,737 --> 00:53:31,295 She said that? 1051 00:53:31,506 --> 00:53:33,269 You didn't hear it from me. 1052 00:53:34,308 --> 00:53:37,038 - Little harsh, Gretch. - Whatever. She has a right to know. 1053 00:53:37,245 --> 00:53:39,042 I can't go out. 1054 00:53:39,881 --> 00:53:41,280 I'm sick. 1055 00:53:41,482 --> 00:53:43,473 Boo. You whore. 1056 00:53:49,123 --> 00:53:50,886 Regina, 1057 00:53:51,092 --> 00:53:52,389 we have to talk to you. 1058 00:53:52,593 --> 00:53:54,288 Is butter a carb? 1059 00:53:54,796 --> 00:53:56,093 Yes. 1060 00:53:56,297 --> 00:53:58,959 Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. 1061 00:53:59,167 --> 00:54:00,395 It's Monday. 1062 00:54:01,135 --> 00:54:03,194 - So? - So that's against the rules 1063 00:54:03,404 --> 00:54:04,894 and you can't sit with us. 1064 00:54:05,373 --> 00:54:07,671 Whatever. Those rules aren't real. 1065 00:54:08,643 --> 00:54:10,406 They were real that day I wore a vest. 1066 00:54:10,611 --> 00:54:13,603 - Because that vest was disgusting. - You can't sit with us! 1067 00:54:20,521 --> 00:54:23,285 These sweatpants are all that fits me right now. 1068 00:54:29,931 --> 00:54:31,228 Fine. 1069 00:54:31,432 --> 00:54:33,423 You can walk home, bitches. 1070 00:54:34,602 --> 00:54:37,230 Watch where you're going, fat-ass! 1071 00:54:44,812 --> 00:54:47,372 Gretchen and Karen followed me around all afternoon. 1072 00:54:47,582 --> 00:54:49,812 - So, what are we doing this weekend? - Yeah, what are we doing? 1073 00:54:50,017 --> 00:54:51,678 Oh, I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1074 00:54:52,253 --> 00:54:53,845 What...? 1075 00:54:54,055 --> 00:54:55,647 We have tickets for this thing. 1076 00:54:55,857 --> 00:54:57,848 - What? - What? 1077 00:54:58,059 --> 00:55:00,357 Was I the new queen bee? 1078 00:55:01,629 --> 00:55:02,994 I can try and get out of it. 1079 00:55:03,331 --> 00:55:04,559 - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 1080 00:55:04,765 --> 00:55:07,632 Because I told my friend Janis I'd go to her art show. 1081 00:55:07,835 --> 00:55:09,826 We've had these tickets for months. 1082 00:55:10,037 --> 00:55:12,028 You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo. 1083 00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:14,708 But she's my friend, and I made her a promise. 1084 00:55:15,142 --> 00:55:17,872 I think Cady's old enough to spend one night on her own. 1085 00:55:21,382 --> 00:55:24,510 I had learned how to control everyone around me. 1086 00:55:25,486 --> 00:55:28,319 Hey. I'm having a small get-together at my house tomorrow night. 1087 00:55:28,923 --> 00:55:31,517 - Is Regina going? - No. Do you think I'm an idiot? 1088 00:55:31,726 --> 00:55:33,216 No, it's just gonna be a few cool people, 1089 00:55:33,427 --> 00:55:34,860 and you better be one of them, byotch. 1090 00:55:35,596 --> 00:55:37,496 - Fine, I'll go. - Shut up. 1091 00:55:37,698 --> 00:55:39,689 I love that shirt on you. 1092 00:55:45,273 --> 00:55:48,367 Aaron Samuels was going to be in my touse at my party. 1093 00:55:48,576 --> 00:55:50,407 Everything had to be perfect. 1094 00:55:55,082 --> 00:55:56,572 And this time when Aaron saw me, 1095 00:55:56,784 --> 00:55:59,344 I wouldn't be caught in some ridiculous costume. 1096 00:56:00,021 --> 00:56:01,249 Hey, guys. 1097 00:56:02,657 --> 00:56:04,386 - You look awesome! - You look awesome! 1098 00:56:04,592 --> 00:56:06,025 I know, right? 1099 00:56:06,227 --> 00:56:08,320 OK, so I got enough cheese and crackers for eight people. 1100 00:56:08,529 --> 00:56:10,258 Do you think that's enough? 1101 00:56:10,464 --> 00:56:12,295 - Yeah. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. 1102 00:56:12,500 --> 00:56:14,092 OK. 1103 00:56:17,905 --> 00:56:19,133 It was not enough. 1104 00:56:19,340 --> 00:56:21,900 Somehow, the word had gotten out about my small get-together. 1105 00:56:22,109 --> 00:56:24,134 Jason is here with Taylor Wedell. 1106 00:56:24,345 --> 00:56:26,142 He's just using her to make you mad. 1107 00:56:26,347 --> 00:56:28,907 - Have you guys seen Aaron yet? - No. 1108 00:56:30,651 --> 00:56:33,449 Dude, put on "The Ramayana Monkey Chant". 1109 00:56:42,363 --> 00:56:45,355 - Do I know you? - Deek! What up, dog? 1110 00:56:52,039 --> 00:56:54,269 She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? 1111 00:56:54,475 --> 00:56:56,340 - Who does she think she is? - You're right, hon. 1112 00:56:56,544 --> 00:56:59,035 I, like, invented her, you know what I mean? 1113 00:57:07,154 --> 00:57:09,122 Jason. 1114 00:57:09,323 --> 00:57:10,813 I have to talk to you. 1115 00:57:11,993 --> 00:57:13,460 Whatever. 1116 00:57:14,462 --> 00:57:16,555 - I love you. - I know, I know. 1117 00:57:19,367 --> 00:57:22,131 Hey! Put that down! 1118 00:57:28,042 --> 00:57:30,067 Was Aaron blowing me off? 1119 00:57:37,284 --> 00:57:39,775 What's up? Gretchen came to talk to me. 1120 00:57:39,987 --> 00:57:41,682 - Oh, no. - Look, 1121 00:57:41,889 --> 00:57:45,325 I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color. 1122 00:57:46,460 --> 00:57:47,859 I have to pee. 1123 00:58:00,841 --> 00:58:02,399 Get out. 1124 00:58:47,021 --> 00:58:48,249 - Hey. - Hey. 1125 00:58:48,456 --> 00:58:49,787 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1126 00:58:49,990 --> 00:58:51,287 Me too. 1127 00:58:53,427 --> 00:58:55,361 You look... 1128 00:58:55,996 --> 00:58:58,294 - New clothes? - Thanks. 1129 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:00,931 You wanna go downstairs? 1130 00:59:01,135 --> 00:59:03,467 No, no. Let's stay here. 1131 00:59:06,607 --> 00:59:08,131 Thanks for getting me to come out tonight. 1132 00:59:08,342 --> 00:59:09,570 Yeah, sure, no problem. 1133 00:59:09,777 --> 00:59:12,746 I wasted too much time being pissed off at Regina. 1134 00:59:12,947 --> 00:59:14,437 No more liars. 1135 00:59:14,648 --> 00:59:16,479 I would never lie to you. 1136 00:59:16,684 --> 00:59:18,447 I know, I know. 1137 00:59:18,652 --> 00:59:20,051 Although... 1138 00:59:20,254 --> 00:59:22,586 OK, listen. I mean, I did lie to you once, 1139 00:59:22,790 --> 00:59:24,917 but you're totally gonna laugh when I tell you, so... 1140 00:59:25,126 --> 00:59:26,753 Tell me what? 1141 00:59:28,129 --> 00:59:30,927 I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me. 1142 00:59:31,132 --> 00:59:34,192 But the thing is, I'm not really bad at math. 1143 00:59:34,401 --> 00:59:37,336 I'm actually really good at math. You're kind of bad at math. 1144 00:59:37,905 --> 00:59:40,066 Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny? 1145 00:59:40,541 --> 00:59:42,907 Wait. You're failing on purpose? That's stupid. 1146 00:59:43,110 --> 00:59:45,772 No. Not on purpose. Just, you know... 1147 00:59:45,980 --> 00:59:47,538 I just wanted a reason to talk to you. 1148 00:59:47,748 --> 00:59:49,375 So why didn't you just talk to me? 1149 00:59:49,583 --> 00:59:51,517 Well, because I couldn't. Because of Regina. 1150 00:59:51,719 --> 00:59:53,277 Because you were her property... 1151 00:59:53,487 --> 00:59:55,614 - Her property? - No. Shut up. Not her property... 1152 00:59:55,823 --> 00:59:57,313 No, don't tell me to shut up. 1153 00:59:57,525 --> 00:59:59,186 - I wasn't... - God, you know what? 1154 00:59:59,627 --> 01:00:02,255 You are just like a clone of Regina. 1155 01:00:02,463 --> 01:00:05,125 Oh, no, no, listen to me. You're not listening to me... 1156 01:00:05,332 --> 01:00:09,666 Oh, no. It was coming up again. Word vomit. No, wait a minute... 1157 01:00:09,870 --> 01:00:12,668 - What is this?! - Actual vomit. 1158 01:00:16,043 --> 01:00:17,408 Aaron! 1159 01:00:17,711 --> 01:00:19,770 Aaron, wait! Just... 1160 01:00:21,215 --> 01:00:23,775 OK. Call me. 1161 01:00:28,489 --> 01:00:31,583 - Oh, God. - You dirty little liar. 1162 01:00:31,792 --> 01:00:33,623 I'm sorry. I can explain. 1163 01:00:33,828 --> 01:00:36,058 Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? 1164 01:00:36,263 --> 01:00:37,594 Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. 1165 01:00:37,798 --> 01:00:40,699 You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be Plastic. 1166 01:00:40,901 --> 01:00:42,926 Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. 1167 01:00:43,137 --> 01:00:46,106 You're Plastic. Cold, shiny, hard Plastic. 1168 01:00:46,507 --> 01:00:48,236 Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10. 1169 01:00:48,442 --> 01:00:50,137 Did you have an awesome time? 1170 01:00:50,344 --> 01:00:53,472 Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, 1171 01:00:53,681 --> 01:00:56,479 and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness? 1172 01:00:56,684 --> 01:00:58,015 You're the one who made me like this 1173 01:00:58,219 --> 01:01:00,551 so you could use me for your eighth-grade revenge. 1174 01:01:00,754 --> 01:01:03,587 God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. 1175 01:01:03,791 --> 01:01:08,194 You try to act like you're so innocent. Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa 1176 01:01:08,395 --> 01:01:10,386 with all the little birdies and the little monkeys." 1177 01:01:10,598 --> 01:01:13,396 You know what? It's not my fault you're in love with me or something! 1178 01:01:13,601 --> 01:01:15,193 - What?! - Oh, no she did not! 1179 01:01:15,402 --> 01:01:17,563 See? That is the thing with you Plastics. 1180 01:01:17,771 --> 01:01:20,239 You think that everybody is in love with you, 1181 01:01:20,441 --> 01:01:22,568 when actually, everybody hates you. 1182 01:01:22,776 --> 01:01:24,539 Like Aaron Samuels, for example. 1183 01:01:24,745 --> 01:01:26,576 He broke up with Regina and guess what. 1184 01:01:26,780 --> 01:01:28,372 He still doesn't want you. 1185 01:01:28,582 --> 01:01:31,745 So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why. 1186 01:01:31,952 --> 01:01:35,513 Because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! 1187 01:01:36,423 --> 01:01:39,620 Here. You can have this. It won a prize. 1188 01:01:41,996 --> 01:01:44,294 And I want my pink shirt back! 1189 01:01:44,498 --> 01:01:47,194 I want my pink shirt back! 1190 01:02:01,248 --> 01:02:02,681 Hon, slow down. 1191 01:02:02,883 --> 01:02:05,443 It's like I can't trust anyone anymore. 1192 01:02:06,587 --> 01:02:08,054 Why are you eating a Kälteen bar? 1193 01:02:08,255 --> 01:02:10,655 - I'm starving. - Man, I hate those things. 1194 01:02:10,858 --> 01:02:14,294 Coach Carr makes us eat those when we wanna move up a weight class. 1195 01:02:15,863 --> 01:02:17,125 What? 1196 01:02:17,932 --> 01:02:20,332 They make you gain weight like crazy. 1197 01:02:21,535 --> 01:02:23,332 Mother... 1198 01:02:48,462 --> 01:02:54,799 This girl is the nastiest skank bitch 1199 01:02:55,002 --> 01:02:59,268 I've ever met. 1200 01:02:59,473 --> 01:03:08,108 Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut! 1201 01:03:28,102 --> 01:03:33,438 I found it in the girls' bathroom. It's so mean, Mr. Duvall. 1202 01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:34,937 Is this true? 1203 01:03:35,142 --> 01:03:37,303 Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr? 1204 01:03:38,846 --> 01:03:41,371 Good Lord. 1205 01:03:41,582 --> 01:03:44,073 What's that say? "Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."? 1206 01:03:44,284 --> 01:03:45,945 Fat whore. 1207 01:03:49,056 --> 01:03:51,149 OK, calm down, Miss George. 1208 01:03:51,792 --> 01:03:55,319 Why would someone write that? That's just so mean. 1209 01:03:55,796 --> 01:03:58,128 Don't worry, we're gonna find out who did it. 1210 01:03:58,332 --> 01:04:00,892 There's only three girls in the whole school who aren't in it. 1211 01:04:01,902 --> 01:04:04,427 At your age, you're gonna be having a lot of urges. 1212 01:04:04,638 --> 01:04:07,835 You're gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other. 1213 01:04:08,208 --> 01:04:12,577 But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia. And die. 1214 01:04:12,780 --> 01:04:14,179 Coach Carr. 1215 01:04:17,551 --> 01:04:20,019 Cady Heron, they wanna see you in the principal's office. 1216 01:04:22,589 --> 01:04:26,719 All right, chlamydia. K-L-A... 1217 01:04:29,496 --> 01:04:31,464 In here, Miss Heron. 1218 01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:42,934 - What's going on? - Have a seat, Miss Heron. 1219 01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:48,905 - Have you ever seen this before? - No. 1220 01:04:49,450 --> 01:04:51,782 I mean, yes, I've seen it before, but it's not mine. 1221 01:04:51,985 --> 01:04:53,680 You better get your story straight, Miss Heron, 1222 01:04:53,887 --> 01:04:55,650 because I'm not messing around here. 1223 01:04:55,856 --> 01:04:57,551 It's not ours, it's Regina's. 1224 01:04:57,791 --> 01:05:01,488 Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it. 1225 01:05:01,695 --> 01:05:07,930 Miss Wieners, why would Regina refer to herself as a "fugly slut"? 1226 01:05:10,537 --> 01:05:13,233 Miss Smith, this is no time to be laughing. 1227 01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:15,635 We're gonna get to the bottom of this right now. 1228 01:05:34,094 --> 01:05:37,552 Maybe we're not in that book, because everybody likes us. 1229 01:05:37,764 --> 01:05:40,028 And I don't wanna be punished for being well-liked. 1230 01:05:40,567 --> 01:05:44,298 And I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, 1231 01:05:44,505 --> 01:05:46,473 would be too pleased to hear about this. 1232 01:05:55,582 --> 01:05:57,709 "Made out with a hot dog"? 1233 01:05:57,918 --> 01:06:00,853 Oh, my God, that was one time! 1234 01:06:03,157 --> 01:06:07,389 "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"? Who would write that? 1235 01:06:07,594 --> 01:06:09,323 Who wouldn't write that? 1236 01:06:10,697 --> 01:06:12,790 "Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr"? 1237 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,558 And so did Sun Jin Dinh. 1238 01:06:22,442 --> 01:06:25,411 Hey! Hey! Settle down! All right, hey. 1239 01:06:25,612 --> 01:06:28,513 No. You do not push and sh... 1240 01:06:42,229 --> 01:06:44,026 Do you have anything else you wanna say? 1241 01:06:44,231 --> 01:06:45,562 No, I can't answer any more questions 1242 01:06:45,766 --> 01:06:47,427 until I have a parent or lawyer present. 1243 01:06:48,669 --> 01:06:49,897 Miss Smith? 1244 01:06:51,038 --> 01:06:54,565 Whoever wrote it probably didn't think anyone would ever see it? 1245 01:06:54,775 --> 01:06:57,209 I hope that nobody else ever does see it. 1246 01:07:08,722 --> 01:07:11,213 Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared. 1247 01:07:12,392 --> 01:07:14,724 - "Janis Ian, dyke"? - That's original. 1248 01:07:14,928 --> 01:07:16,691 - "Too gay to function"?! - Hey! 1249 01:07:16,897 --> 01:07:18,956 That's only OK when I say it. 1250 01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:22,033 - Did you write this? - No, I swear! 1251 01:07:22,236 --> 01:07:24,898 - Then you told somebody! - She told! 1252 01:07:25,172 --> 01:07:28,198 - You little bitch! - You're a bitch! 1253 01:07:30,277 --> 01:07:32,245 Yeah! Take your top off! 1254 01:07:34,248 --> 01:07:36,409 - Now, here's what we're gonna do... - Ron, come quick! 1255 01:07:36,617 --> 01:07:39,950 They've gone wild. The girls have gone wild. 1256 01:07:49,129 --> 01:07:51,290 It was full-tilt jungle madness. 1257 01:07:54,768 --> 01:07:56,736 And it wasn't going away. 1258 01:08:03,176 --> 01:08:05,804 Hey, I pulled these two off each other. 1259 01:08:06,013 --> 01:08:08,811 Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls. 1260 01:08:13,787 --> 01:08:15,254 Let me help you down there. 1261 01:08:15,956 --> 01:08:19,517 Hell, no! I did not leave the Southside for this! 1262 01:08:23,363 --> 01:08:25,490 Oh, crap! My hair! 1263 01:08:25,699 --> 01:08:31,228 All junior girls report to the gymnasium immediately! Immediately! 1264 01:08:36,276 --> 01:08:37,800 Have you ever walked up to people 1265 01:08:38,011 --> 01:08:40,309 and realized they were just talking about you? 1266 01:08:42,416 --> 01:08:45,579 Have you ever had it happen 60 times in a row? 1267 01:08:45,986 --> 01:08:47,578 I have. 1268 01:09:06,606 --> 01:09:11,043 Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. 1269 01:09:11,378 --> 01:09:13,243 And from young ladies. 1270 01:09:13,780 --> 01:09:17,716 I got parents calling me on the phone asking, "Did someone get shot?" 1271 01:09:18,018 --> 01:09:19,952 I ought to cancel your Spring Fling. 1272 01:09:20,153 --> 01:09:21,381 No! 1273 01:09:21,655 --> 01:09:22,883 - No. - What are we supposed to do? 1274 01:09:23,357 --> 01:09:26,258 Now, I'm not gonna do that, because we've already paid the DJ. 1275 01:09:26,526 --> 01:09:29,723 But don't think that I'm not taking this book seriously. 1276 01:09:30,130 --> 01:09:33,031 Coach Carr has fled school property. 1277 01:09:33,667 --> 01:09:36,033 Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. 1278 01:09:37,437 --> 01:09:39,735 Now, what the young ladies in this grade need 1279 01:09:39,940 --> 01:09:41,965 is an attitude makeover. 1280 01:09:42,376 --> 01:09:44,742 And you're gonna get it right now. 1281 01:09:44,945 --> 01:09:48,813 I don't care how long it takes, I will keep you here all night. 1282 01:09:49,015 --> 01:09:50,414 We can't keep them past 4. 1283 01:09:50,617 --> 01:09:52,847 I will keep you here until 4. 1284 01:09:54,721 --> 01:09:57,189 Now, what we're gonna try to do is fix the way you young ladies 1285 01:09:57,391 --> 01:09:58,881 relate to each other. 1286 01:09:59,092 --> 01:10:01,652 OK? Lady to lady. 1287 01:10:01,862 --> 01:10:04,854 So who has a lady problem that they'd like to talk about? 1288 01:10:08,668 --> 01:10:10,033 Yes? 1289 01:10:10,237 --> 01:10:13,468 Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin 1290 01:10:13,673 --> 01:10:15,698 because I use super-jumbo tampons. 1291 01:10:15,909 --> 01:10:19,777 But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina. 1292 01:10:21,715 --> 01:10:23,512 Yeah, I can't do this. 1293 01:10:23,917 --> 01:10:25,145 Ms. Norbury. 1294 01:10:25,385 --> 01:10:29,116 You're a successful, intelligent, caring, graceful woman. 1295 01:10:29,423 --> 01:10:30,651 I am? 1296 01:10:30,857 --> 01:10:33,087 There has to be something you can say to these young ladies. 1297 01:10:33,293 --> 01:10:35,227 Something to help them with their self-esteem? 1298 01:10:35,595 --> 01:10:36,823 It's not a self-esteem problem. 1299 01:10:37,030 --> 01:10:39,555 I think they're all pretty pleased with themselves. 1300 01:10:41,768 --> 01:10:42,996 OK. 1301 01:10:44,271 --> 01:10:48,264 OK. Everybody close your eyes. 1302 01:10:49,643 --> 01:10:52,203 I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl 1303 01:10:52,412 --> 01:10:55,540 say something bad about you behind your back. 1304 01:10:57,584 --> 01:10:59,449 Open your eyes. 1305 01:11:01,154 --> 01:11:02,678 Now, close your eyes again. 1306 01:11:02,889 --> 01:11:05,687 And this time, I want you to raise your hand if you have ever 1307 01:11:05,892 --> 01:11:08,452 said anything about a friend behind her back. 1308 01:11:14,835 --> 01:11:16,132 Open them. 1309 01:11:20,507 --> 01:11:23,203 There's been some girl-on-girl crime here. 1310 01:11:24,277 --> 01:11:28,008 OK. So, what we could do today is a couple exercises to help you 1311 01:11:28,215 --> 01:11:31,116 express your anger in a healthy way. 1312 01:11:32,052 --> 01:11:33,349 Let's start over here. 1313 01:11:33,553 --> 01:11:35,350 Ms. Norbury had us confront each other directly 1314 01:11:35,555 --> 01:11:37,022 about the things that were bothering us. 1315 01:11:37,224 --> 01:11:39,249 And it seemed like every clique had its own problems. 1316 01:11:39,459 --> 01:11:42,360 You've been acting really stuck-up ever since you switched to shortfielder. 1317 01:11:42,562 --> 01:11:44,325 And Dawn agrees with me. 1318 01:11:44,531 --> 01:11:46,158 - Dawn? - Don't drag me into this, 1319 01:11:46,366 --> 01:11:47,663 I'm pitching tomorrow. 1320 01:11:55,542 --> 01:11:57,533 OK. Good. 1321 01:11:58,478 --> 01:12:01,413 Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? 1322 01:12:01,615 --> 01:12:04,345 And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop, because some of us 1323 01:12:04,551 --> 01:12:06,644 are just victims in this situation. 1324 01:12:06,853 --> 01:12:08,980 That's probably true. How many of you 1325 01:12:09,189 --> 01:12:12,989 have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George? 1326 01:12:22,836 --> 01:12:25,361 Good. OK, who's next? 1327 01:12:25,572 --> 01:12:27,096 Who's next? 1328 01:12:29,376 --> 01:12:30,707 Cady. 1329 01:12:30,911 --> 01:12:32,606 Do you have anything you wanna own up to? 1330 01:12:33,313 --> 01:12:35,042 Yes. No. 1331 01:12:35,649 --> 01:12:38,117 You never made up a rumor about anybody? 1332 01:12:38,518 --> 01:12:39,746 Just that you sell drugs. 1333 01:12:39,953 --> 01:12:41,181 No. 1334 01:12:41,588 --> 01:12:43,852 Nothing you want to apologize for? 1335 01:12:44,291 --> 01:12:45,690 I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury 1336 01:12:45,892 --> 01:12:47,917 without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book. 1337 01:12:48,194 --> 01:12:49,627 No. 1338 01:12:50,864 --> 01:12:53,128 I'm really disappointed in you, Cady. 1339 01:12:55,502 --> 01:12:58,528 OK, so we're all here because of this book, right? 1340 01:12:58,805 --> 01:13:01,569 Well, I don't know who wrote this book, 1341 01:13:01,775 --> 01:13:05,541 but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. 1342 01:13:05,745 --> 01:13:08,714 It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores. 1343 01:13:08,915 --> 01:13:10,473 Who here has ever been called a slut? 1344 01:13:15,655 --> 01:13:17,247 OK, everybody up. 1345 01:13:17,457 --> 01:13:18,981 Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies 1346 01:13:19,192 --> 01:13:21,353 to people that we'd hurt in our lives. 1347 01:13:21,628 --> 01:13:25,223 "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch." 1348 01:13:25,432 --> 01:13:27,957 "It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." 1349 01:13:32,405 --> 01:13:33,872 "Gretchen, 1350 01:13:34,074 --> 01:13:36,508 "I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea" 1351 01:13:36,710 --> 01:13:38,337 "at Barnes and Noble." 1352 01:13:38,545 --> 01:13:40,445 "And I'm sorry I told everyone about it." 1353 01:13:40,947 --> 01:13:43,438 And I'm sorry for repeating it now. 1354 01:13:48,188 --> 01:13:50,213 Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat. 1355 01:13:50,423 --> 01:13:52,755 You're fat because I hate you. 1356 01:13:56,396 --> 01:14:00,423 I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. 1357 01:14:00,634 --> 01:14:04,570 I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, 1358 01:14:04,771 --> 01:14:06,671 and we'd all eat it and be happy. 1359 01:14:06,873 --> 01:14:08,500 She doesn't even go here! 1360 01:14:10,410 --> 01:14:12,469 Do you even go to this school? 1361 01:14:12,679 --> 01:14:16,342 No. I just have a lot of feelings. 1362 01:14:16,650 --> 01:14:18,117 OK, go home. 1363 01:14:22,088 --> 01:14:23,715 Sharon, I think you're doing a great job. 1364 01:14:23,957 --> 01:14:25,515 Thanks. I feel like I'm getting through. 1365 01:14:25,725 --> 01:14:28,125 I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. 1366 01:14:28,862 --> 01:14:31,422 But I can't help it that I'm popular. 1367 01:14:36,369 --> 01:14:39,497 Oh, my God! Oh, jeez. OK, walk it off. Walk it off. 1368 01:14:39,706 --> 01:14:41,867 OK. That hurt. 1369 01:14:42,676 --> 01:14:44,007 They're OK. 1370 01:14:44,544 --> 01:14:46,239 They're OK. 1371 01:14:47,047 --> 01:14:52,041 Oh, boy. OK, who's next? Who's next? Keep it going. 1372 01:14:55,755 --> 01:14:59,691 Oh, my God. It's her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls. 1373 01:15:01,027 --> 01:15:04,190 OK, yeah, I've got an apology. 1374 01:15:06,166 --> 01:15:10,830 So I have this friend who is a new student this year. 1375 01:15:11,037 --> 01:15:15,098 And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. 1376 01:15:15,308 --> 01:15:17,799 So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, 1377 01:15:18,011 --> 01:15:19,535 and then she would come to my house after 1378 01:15:19,746 --> 01:15:22,442 and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. 1379 01:15:22,649 --> 01:15:24,173 And we gave her these candy bar things 1380 01:15:24,384 --> 01:15:26,011 that would make her gain weight, 1381 01:15:26,219 --> 01:15:28,414 and we turned her best friends against her. 1382 01:15:28,888 --> 01:15:31,857 And then... Oh, yeah, Cady... You know my friend Cady. 1383 01:15:32,058 --> 01:15:33,855 She made out with Regina's boyfriend 1384 01:15:34,060 --> 01:15:36,153 and then convinced him to break up with her. 1385 01:15:36,362 --> 01:15:38,990 Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream instead of face wash. 1386 01:15:39,199 --> 01:15:41,827 God! I am so sorry, Regina. 1387 01:15:42,035 --> 01:15:43,969 Really, I don't know why I did it. 1388 01:15:44,170 --> 01:15:49,403 I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you. 1389 01:15:49,609 --> 01:15:51,304 Suck on that! 1390 01:15:52,412 --> 01:15:56,280 Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis! 1391 01:16:03,089 --> 01:16:04,317 Regina! 1392 01:16:05,792 --> 01:16:07,726 Regina, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen. 1393 01:16:07,927 --> 01:16:09,918 To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care. 1394 01:16:10,130 --> 01:16:12,121 Regina, please! Regina, stop! 1395 01:16:12,332 --> 01:16:14,994 No! Do you know what everyone says about you? 1396 01:16:15,201 --> 01:16:17,135 They say that you're a home-schooled jungle freak, 1397 01:16:17,337 --> 01:16:19,168 who's a less-hot version of me. 1398 01:16:19,372 --> 01:16:22,136 Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent. 1399 01:16:22,342 --> 01:16:25,607 You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy... 1400 01:16:29,349 --> 01:16:31,943 And that's how Regina George died. 1401 01:16:32,152 --> 01:16:35,212 No, I'm totally kidding. But she did get hurt. 1402 01:16:35,421 --> 01:16:37,685 Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. 1403 01:16:37,891 --> 01:16:40,689 But that's just a rumor. Some people swear they saw me 1404 01:16:40,894 --> 01:16:43,089 push her in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumor. 1405 01:16:45,195 --> 01:16:48,687 - Everybody done? - No. Mom, I didn't do it. 1406 01:16:48,898 --> 01:16:50,661 I don't know what to believe anymore. 1407 01:16:50,867 --> 01:16:52,960 Mom, believe me. I'm your daughter. 1408 01:16:56,106 --> 01:16:58,836 Why are my tribal vases under the sink? 1409 01:16:59,042 --> 01:17:02,136 My tribal vases. Why were they under the sink? 1410 01:17:02,712 --> 01:17:04,043 I don't know. 1411 01:17:04,347 --> 01:17:06,645 This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. 1412 01:17:06,850 --> 01:17:09,876 - Does that mean anything to you? - No. 1413 01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:12,517 Who are you? 1414 01:17:17,127 --> 01:17:20,858 Great. All my friends hate me, and now my mom hates me. 1415 01:17:21,064 --> 01:17:22,964 Your mom does not hate you. 1416 01:17:23,166 --> 01:17:25,828 She's afraid of you. 1417 01:17:26,870 --> 01:17:30,863 I don't know, maybe we mainstream-schooled you too soon. 1418 01:17:31,074 --> 01:17:34,942 Maybe you should come back and be home-schooled again for a while. 1419 01:17:35,311 --> 01:17:39,338 No. Only thing worse than going back will be not going back. 1420 01:17:40,283 --> 01:17:42,308 How bad's it gonna be tomorrow? 1421 01:17:42,519 --> 01:17:45,613 Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass? 1422 01:17:46,523 --> 01:17:47,751 I'll be the wart hog. 1423 01:17:48,258 --> 01:17:49,725 You're not a wart hog, 1424 01:17:49,926 --> 01:17:51,689 you're a lion. 1425 01:17:52,195 --> 01:17:54,629 Just focus on your studies for a little while. 1426 01:17:54,964 --> 01:17:57,296 You're still an excellent student, right? 1427 01:17:57,500 --> 01:18:00,936 Oh, yeah. I need you to sign my calculus test. 1428 01:18:01,304 --> 01:18:03,499 - Why? - I'm failing. 1429 01:18:06,809 --> 01:18:09,573 OK. You are... 1430 01:18:10,914 --> 01:18:12,381 What do they call it? 1431 01:18:12,649 --> 01:18:13,911 Grounded. 1432 01:18:14,384 --> 01:18:15,976 You're grounded. 1433 01:18:44,714 --> 01:18:46,238 She pushed her in front of the bus. 1434 01:18:46,983 --> 01:18:48,575 Did you see her do it? 1435 01:18:48,785 --> 01:18:50,116 Yes. 1436 01:19:04,601 --> 01:19:08,560 Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or Ecstasy tablets? 1437 01:19:08,771 --> 01:19:11,205 - No. - What are marijuana tablets? 1438 01:19:11,407 --> 01:19:13,307 What's going on? Where's Ms. Norbury? 1439 01:19:13,676 --> 01:19:17,737 Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous. Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs. 1440 01:19:17,947 --> 01:19:21,144 I know, Aaron. But after the allegations against Coach Carr 1441 01:19:21,351 --> 01:19:23,615 turned out to be extremely true, 1442 01:19:23,820 --> 01:19:27,051 the school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim made 1443 01:19:27,257 --> 01:19:28,485 in this Burn Book. 1444 01:19:28,691 --> 01:19:30,921 That book was written by a bunch of stupid girls 1445 01:19:31,127 --> 01:19:32,992 who make up rumors because they're bored 1446 01:19:33,196 --> 01:19:34,959 with their own lame lives. 1447 01:19:35,164 --> 01:19:37,928 Well, unless someone wants to come forward and say, "I made it all up", 1448 01:19:38,134 --> 01:19:40,728 this is how we have to handle it. To say that someone... 1449 01:19:40,937 --> 01:19:45,601 Oh, no. Bye, Aaron. You're gonna hate me forever. 1450 01:19:46,843 --> 01:19:48,538 Mr. Duvall. 1451 01:19:48,745 --> 01:19:49,973 I wrote it. 1452 01:19:52,882 --> 01:19:54,110 Come on, Cady. 1453 01:20:01,391 --> 01:20:02,881 When you get bit by a snake, 1454 01:20:03,092 --> 01:20:04,957 you're supposed to suck the poison out. 1455 01:20:05,161 --> 01:20:08,961 That's what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life. 1456 01:20:09,666 --> 01:20:11,224 I started with Regina, 1457 01:20:11,434 --> 01:20:13,698 who was living proof that the more people are scared of you, 1458 01:20:13,903 --> 01:20:15,200 the more flowers you get. 1459 01:20:16,406 --> 01:20:17,634 Then there was Ms. Norbury, 1460 01:20:17,840 --> 01:20:21,401 who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished. 1461 01:20:22,078 --> 01:20:24,569 Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? 1462 01:20:24,781 --> 01:20:28,740 - I'm just done with my quiz. - Wait. I'll grade it right now. 1463 01:20:33,289 --> 01:20:35,519 I gotta say, watching the police search my house 1464 01:20:35,725 --> 01:20:39,217 really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year. 1465 01:20:40,496 --> 01:20:42,987 How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth? 1466 01:20:43,199 --> 01:20:44,496 A lot. 1467 01:20:44,834 --> 01:20:46,358 You didn't write that whole book yourself. 1468 01:20:46,569 --> 01:20:48,196 Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it? 1469 01:20:48,971 --> 01:20:50,268 No, because I'm trying this new thing 1470 01:20:50,473 --> 01:20:52,668 where I don't talk about people behind their backs. 1471 01:20:53,009 --> 01:20:56,103 That's all right. Gething hit by a bus is pretty good punishment. 1472 01:20:56,312 --> 01:20:57,574 Ninety-four. 1473 01:20:57,780 --> 01:20:59,509 Welcome back, nerd. 1474 01:21:00,016 --> 01:21:01,278 Thanks. 1475 01:21:02,385 --> 01:21:03,784 Anyway... 1476 01:21:04,787 --> 01:21:06,254 ...l'm sorry. 1477 01:21:06,456 --> 01:21:07,787 I forgive you. 1478 01:21:08,091 --> 01:21:10,423 But as my own personal form of punishment, 1479 01:21:10,626 --> 01:21:13,026 I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit. 1480 01:21:14,530 --> 01:21:15,963 What's up? 1481 01:22:14,490 --> 01:22:17,459 Excellent. Great turnout this year. 1482 01:22:24,801 --> 01:22:26,701 - All right. It's all you. - OK. 1483 01:22:26,903 --> 01:22:28,666 - Make me look good out there. - OK. 1484 01:22:28,871 --> 01:22:32,170 Marymount, you sons of bitches. You no-good sons of bitches. 1485 01:22:33,042 --> 01:22:34,600 - You nervous? - Yes. 1486 01:22:34,811 --> 01:22:38,178 Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, 1487 01:22:38,381 --> 01:22:40,975 because not one of those Marymount boys is cute. 1488 01:22:42,852 --> 01:22:44,183 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 1489 01:22:44,387 --> 01:22:47,015 Welcome to the Illinois High School Mathletes State Championship. 1490 01:22:47,223 --> 01:22:50,158 Let's start the competition. Here is the first question. 1491 01:22:50,593 --> 01:22:53,721 Twice the larger of two numbers is three more than five times 1492 01:22:53,930 --> 01:22:55,830 the smaller, and the sum of four times the larger 1493 01:22:56,032 --> 01:22:59,263 and three times the smaller is 71. What are...? 1494 01:22:59,469 --> 01:23:01,562 - North Shore? - Fourteen and five. 1495 01:23:01,771 --> 01:23:03,329 That is correct. Question number two. 1496 01:23:03,539 --> 01:23:06,633 Find an odd three-digit number whose digits add up to 12. 1497 01:23:06,843 --> 01:23:09,903 The digits are all different, and the difference between the first two digits 1498 01:23:10,112 --> 01:23:11,443 equals the difference between... 1499 01:23:11,647 --> 01:23:13,478 - Marymount? - 741. 1500 01:23:13,683 --> 01:23:17,016 - Correct. - Shoot. I was really rusty. 1501 01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:20,548 - Where's Cady? - She went out. 1502 01:23:20,923 --> 01:23:22,151 She's grounded. 1503 01:23:22,825 --> 01:23:24,986 Are they not allowed out when they're grounded? 1504 01:23:32,034 --> 01:23:35,197 Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling King and Queen, people. 1505 01:23:35,404 --> 01:23:38,237 These A-holes will represent you for a full calendar year. 1506 01:23:38,441 --> 01:23:41,706 I'm gonna vote for Regina George because she got hit by that bus. 1507 01:23:41,911 --> 01:23:45,005 I'm voting for Cady Heron because she pushed her. 1508 01:23:53,222 --> 01:23:56,589 She's supposed to be grounded, but he let her out. 1509 01:23:56,859 --> 01:24:00,625 After 87 minutes of very competitive play, we have a tie. 1510 01:24:00,830 --> 01:24:04,061 In the event of a tie, we move into a sudden-death round. 1511 01:24:04,267 --> 01:24:07,794 Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent. 1512 01:24:08,204 --> 01:24:11,970 - North Shore, who do you select? - The girl, dude. The girl. 1513 01:24:12,174 --> 01:24:13,607 Contestant Krafft. 1514 01:24:13,843 --> 01:24:17,040 From Marymount, Miss Caroline Krafft. 1515 01:24:19,849 --> 01:24:21,714 We pick the girl too. 1516 01:24:21,951 --> 01:24:24,249 And from North Shore, Miss Cady Heron. 1517 01:24:24,453 --> 01:24:26,182 It's Cady. 1518 01:24:26,622 --> 01:24:28,112 Oh, my God, that's me. 1519 01:24:36,365 --> 01:24:39,528 Miss Caroline Krafft seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. 1520 01:24:39,735 --> 01:24:44,069 Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher. 1521 01:24:44,273 --> 01:24:47,140 And she had some 99-cent lip gloss on her snaggletooth. 1522 01:24:47,610 --> 01:24:50,511 And that's when I realized, making fun of Caroline Krafft 1523 01:24:50,713 --> 01:24:53,273 wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest. 1524 01:24:53,482 --> 01:24:56,940 Contestants, find the limit of this equation. 1525 01:24:57,753 --> 01:25:00,187 Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. 1526 01:25:00,389 --> 01:25:02,721 Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. 1527 01:25:02,925 --> 01:25:06,383 And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. 1528 01:25:06,596 --> 01:25:10,032 All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. 1529 01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,867 - The limit is negative one. - Oh, crap. I lost. 1530 01:25:14,070 --> 01:25:15,697 That answer is incorrect. 1531 01:25:16,505 --> 01:25:19,474 Now, we are in a sudden death. If Miss Heron can answer 1532 01:25:19,675 --> 01:25:22,701 this problem correctly, we have a winner. 1533 01:25:22,912 --> 01:25:25,642 Limits. Why couldn't I remember anything about limits? 1534 01:25:25,848 --> 01:25:28,339 Limits. That was the week Aaron got his hair cut. 1535 01:25:28,551 --> 01:25:30,951 Oh, God, he looked so cute. OK, focus, Cady. 1536 01:25:31,153 --> 01:25:33,485 What was on the board behind Aaron's head? 1537 01:25:34,357 --> 01:25:36,917 If the limit never approaches anything... 1538 01:25:37,126 --> 01:25:39,151 The limit does not exist. 1539 01:25:39,362 --> 01:25:40,693 The limit does not exist! 1540 01:25:40,997 --> 01:25:42,862 Our new state champions, 1541 01:25:43,065 --> 01:25:45,158 - the North Shore Mathletes. - Yeah! 1542 01:25:54,944 --> 01:25:56,377 How do you like me now? 1543 01:25:56,779 --> 01:26:00,374 You like that? Yeah! Get some! Get some! 1544 01:26:00,783 --> 01:26:02,978 Awesome. You went with the leather sleeves. 1545 01:26:03,185 --> 01:26:05,278 - Africa, you did the damn thing. - Thanks. 1546 01:26:06,756 --> 01:26:08,121 Thanks, K.G. 1547 01:26:08,324 --> 01:26:11,555 We're gonna look so kick-ass in these when we roll into Spring Fling. 1548 01:26:11,761 --> 01:26:13,422 - Oh, no, I'm not going. - What? 1549 01:26:13,629 --> 01:26:15,324 Cady, this is your night. Don't let the haters 1550 01:26:15,531 --> 01:26:16,862 stop you from doing your thang. 1551 01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:18,890 Did you just say "thang"? 1552 01:26:19,101 --> 01:26:20,864 Cady, you don't have to punish yourself forever. 1553 01:26:21,237 --> 01:26:22,966 But I'm grounded. 1554 01:26:23,272 --> 01:26:24,864 You're already out. 1555 01:26:35,785 --> 01:26:37,810 All right, do we have all of our nominees 1556 01:26:38,020 --> 01:26:39,851 for king and queen on the stage? 1557 01:26:40,389 --> 01:26:44,792 OK, good. I just wanted to say that you're all winners. 1558 01:26:45,127 --> 01:26:48,893 And I could not be happier that this school year's ending. 1559 01:26:49,632 --> 01:26:55,798 Here we go. The winner of the Spring Fling King, 1560 01:26:56,138 --> 01:26:59,005 - Shane Oman. - Yes! 1561 01:26:59,375 --> 01:27:01,275 That's what I'm talking about! 1562 01:27:04,080 --> 01:27:06,207 And your Spring Fling Queen, 1563 01:27:06,682 --> 01:27:08,877 future co-chair of the Student Activities Board 1564 01:27:09,085 --> 01:27:12,054 and winner of two gift certificates 1565 01:27:12,254 --> 01:27:14,245 to the Walker Brothers Pancake House, 1566 01:27:14,623 --> 01:27:15,988 Cady Heron. 1567 01:27:20,663 --> 01:27:22,460 Where is Cady? 1568 01:27:24,300 --> 01:27:25,961 There she is. 1569 01:27:42,718 --> 01:27:44,208 Thanks. 1570 01:27:46,288 --> 01:27:48,688 Well, half the people in this room are mad at me. 1571 01:27:48,891 --> 01:27:51,792 And the other half only like me 1572 01:27:51,994 --> 01:27:55,191 because they think I pushed somebody in front of a bus. 1573 01:27:55,397 --> 01:27:57,592 So that's not good. 1574 01:27:58,067 --> 01:28:00,729 You know, it's not really required of you to make a speech. 1575 01:28:00,936 --> 01:28:02,870 I'm almost done, I swear. 1576 01:28:03,739 --> 01:28:08,642 To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Burn Book, 1577 01:28:09,178 --> 01:28:10,941 I'm really sorry. 1578 01:28:12,314 --> 01:28:15,340 You know, I've never been to one of these things before. 1579 01:28:15,551 --> 01:28:18,884 And when I think about how many people wanted this 1580 01:28:19,955 --> 01:28:21,946 and how many people cried over it and stuff... 1581 01:28:23,692 --> 01:28:27,594 I mean, I think everybody looks like royalty tonight. 1582 01:28:27,797 --> 01:28:31,824 Look at Jessica Lopez. That dress is amazing. 1583 01:28:32,034 --> 01:28:34,832 And Emma Gerber, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours, 1584 01:28:35,037 --> 01:28:36,368 and you look really pretty. 1585 01:28:39,141 --> 01:28:40,540 So... 1586 01:28:41,343 --> 01:28:43,777 ...why is everybody stressing over this thing? 1587 01:28:43,979 --> 01:28:48,279 I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just... 1588 01:28:51,253 --> 01:28:52,584 Share it. 1589 01:28:52,922 --> 01:28:57,291 A piece for Gretchen Wieners, a partial Spring Fling Queen. 1590 01:28:59,695 --> 01:29:01,993 A piece for Janis Ian. 1591 01:29:03,599 --> 01:29:06,227 Seriously, most people just take the crown and go. 1592 01:29:06,435 --> 01:29:08,460 And a piece for Regina George. 1593 01:29:08,671 --> 01:29:11,504 She fractured her spine, and she still looks like a rock star. 1594 01:29:13,976 --> 01:29:15,204 Thank you. 1595 01:29:15,411 --> 01:29:17,845 And some for everybody else. 1596 01:29:27,756 --> 01:29:29,519 God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up? 1597 01:29:30,192 --> 01:29:31,659 Thanks. 1598 01:29:32,494 --> 01:29:34,826 All right, have a good time, everyone. 1599 01:29:41,837 --> 01:29:43,304 Look. I'm a queen. 1600 01:29:43,505 --> 01:29:45,063 As am I. 1601 01:29:45,507 --> 01:29:47,634 - Hey. - Hey. 1602 01:29:48,277 --> 01:29:50,336 So are we still in a fight? 1603 01:29:50,546 --> 01:29:52,639 Are you still an asshole? 1604 01:29:52,848 --> 01:29:54,076 I don't think so. 1605 01:29:54,283 --> 01:29:56,274 Well, then I guess we're OK. 1606 01:29:56,619 --> 01:29:58,450 Oh, my God, I love this song! 1607 01:29:58,654 --> 01:29:59,780 I hate this song. 1608 01:29:59,989 --> 01:30:01,820 I know this song! 1609 01:30:03,025 --> 01:30:05,220 Man candy, stage right. 1610 01:30:07,897 --> 01:30:10,798 - Hey, what's up? - Hey. Didn't think you'd make it. 1611 01:30:13,068 --> 01:30:16,333 On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to present you with two gift certificates... 1612 01:30:16,538 --> 01:30:18,233 - Thanks, sucker. - Yo, peace. 1613 01:30:19,975 --> 01:30:23,240 One gift certificate to the Walker Brothers Pancake House. 1614 01:30:23,679 --> 01:30:25,476 Thank you. 1615 01:30:29,919 --> 01:30:31,887 Congratulations on winning State. 1616 01:30:33,055 --> 01:30:34,682 I was so nervous. They made us do limits. 1617 01:30:34,890 --> 01:30:36,619 I thought I was gonna hurl. 1618 01:30:36,825 --> 01:30:39,089 - How's your stomach now? - It's fine. 1619 01:30:39,295 --> 01:30:42,128 - Do you feel nauseous at all? - No. 1620 01:30:42,331 --> 01:30:44,060 - Have you been drinking? - No. 1621 01:30:44,667 --> 01:30:45,895 OK. 1622 01:30:46,101 --> 01:30:47,329 Grool. 1623 01:31:12,594 --> 01:31:13,959 No. 1624 01:31:15,864 --> 01:31:18,526 - What's up? - Can I help you? 1625 01:31:19,168 --> 01:31:20,635 You Puerto Rican? 1626 01:31:20,836 --> 01:31:22,394 Lebanese. 1627 01:31:22,604 --> 01:31:24,128 I feel that. 1628 01:31:39,521 --> 01:31:42,115 In case you're wondering, The Plastics broke up. 1629 01:31:42,324 --> 01:31:44,417 Regina's spine healed, and her physical therapist 1630 01:31:44,626 --> 01:31:46,924 taught her to channel all her rage into sports. 1631 01:31:51,900 --> 01:31:54,596 It was perfect because the jock girls weren't afraid of her. 1632 01:31:58,907 --> 01:32:02,434 Karen used her special talents to do the morning weather announcements. 1633 01:32:02,644 --> 01:32:06,045 Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, 1634 01:32:06,248 --> 01:32:10,480 and there's a 30 percent chance that it's already raining. 1635 01:32:11,353 --> 01:32:13,184 And Gretchen found herself a new clique 1636 01:32:13,389 --> 01:32:15,050 and a new queen bee to serve. 1637 01:32:19,995 --> 01:32:23,294 Aaron went to Northwestern, so I still get to see him on weekends. 1638 01:32:23,499 --> 01:32:24,466 And me? 1639 01:32:24,666 --> 01:32:27,328 I had gone from home-schooled jungle freak to shiny Plastic 1640 01:32:27,536 --> 01:32:30,630 to most hated person in the world to actual human being. 1641 01:32:30,839 --> 01:32:32,067 Hey. 1642 01:32:32,508 --> 01:32:36,308 All the drama from last year just wasn't important anymore. 1643 01:32:36,512 --> 01:32:40,312 School used to be like a shark tank, but now I could just float. 1644 01:32:40,516 --> 01:32:41,744 Regina. 1645 01:32:41,950 --> 01:32:44,475 Finally, Girl World was at peace. 1646 01:32:46,555 --> 01:32:50,616 Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics. 1647 01:32:50,826 --> 01:32:54,193 And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace... 1648 01:32:54,396 --> 01:32:57,388 Well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it. 1649 01:33:03,338 --> 01:33:04,965 Just kidding. 1650 01:33:05,305 --> 01:33:11,217 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org