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00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,641
Everyone has their path in life,
2
00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,337
and this is more or less
where mine started.
3
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:50,849
My name is Norbit Albert Rice,
and I was an orphan.
4
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,247
I like to think my parents
loved me very much,
5
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,986
but just didn't have the means
to properly care for me.
6
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:04,222
I can see them researching
all of the orphanages in the area,
7
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,230
agonizing over their choices,
8
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,596
trying to make sure
their precious little boy
9
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:11,602
was raised in the perfect environment.
10
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,120
Ling Ling! Someone left another one!
11
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,882
Coyotes, go! Get! Back! Back, coyotes!
12
00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,922
Get out here! You not eat another baby.
13
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,798
Oh, crap. Another black one.
14
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,474
Can't give these away.
15
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:57,214
You ugly black one, too.
You be here long time.
16
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,783
Nobody ever come and say,
"Give me the ugly, black one."
17
00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:04,081
You very ugly baby.
The ugliest baby I ever seen.
18
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,221
A lot of people think
that orphanages are cold and scary,
19
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,057
but the Golden Wonton
was a great place to grow up.
20
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:13,860
We had everything
normaI children had. Pets...
21
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,062
Here. Play with that.
22
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:23,571
...a big backyard,
and lots of kids to play with.
23
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,276
Ling Ling!
The children got in MSG barrel.
24
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,348
Now all their hair gonna fall out again.
25
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,680
You stupid orphan!
Nobody want a bald orphan!
26
00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:35,310
Norbit, how you find family with no hair?
27
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,389
Nobody want a bald Norbit!
28
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,788
What the hell wrong
with the children here?
29
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,259
Mr. Wong was a very interesting man.
30
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:46,492
ln addition to his love for children
and preparation of fine Asian cuisine,
31
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,591
he had a real passion
for old-time whallng.
32
00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:51,670
It's a whale, ho!
33
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,739
Die, you son-of-a!
34
00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:01,438
Bingo! Right in the blow hole!
35
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:08,550
Norbit, where you go?
Why you run off like little bitch?
36
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,087
After Marvin Browning got lost
downtown for a couple of weeks,
37
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,354
the orphanage started using
a buddy system.
38
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,485
Go, Norbit!
39
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,530
My buddy was little Kate.
40
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,998
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
41
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,196
That's okay. You're doing good.
42
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:35,904
Kate and I were always together.
Playing checkers...
43
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,583
-Oh, man.
-Yes!
44
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,147
...watching scary movies.
45
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,686
Why, we even pooped together.
46
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:54,232
And then one day, Kate and I decided
that we should tie the knot.
47
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,167
We got married
under the great big oak tree.
48
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,704
I now pronounce you my wife.
49
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,402
And I pronounce you my husband.
50
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,210
It's watermelon.
51
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,378
Yours is green apple.
52
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,221
I think it's time for us to kiss now.
53
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,189
And we lived happily ever after
54
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,498
for about two weeks
untiI she got adopted.
55
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,435
Bye, Norbit.
56
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,470
I didn't do too much bike riding
after that.
57
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,948
When Kate left, there was an
odd number of kids at the orphanage,
58
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,986
so I was buddyless for a while.
59
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:51,952
And sometimes I'd get a little sad,
60
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,262
but I never lost hope.
61
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:03,631
I knew that someday I'd find
another somebody to share my life with.
62
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:07,035
all I had to do was just be patient.
63
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:13,007
-What'd you do that for?
-Because we feIt like it.
64
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,512
-What are you gonna do about it?
-What are you gonna do about it?
65
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:16,582
Loser.
66
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,380
Stop it.
67
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,793
Leave him alone.
68
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,829
-Says who?
-Says who?
69
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:37,635
-Who are you?
-Rasputia. What's your name?
70
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:42,465
-Norbit.
-Norbit? That's a stupid name.
71
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:46,040
-Why'd you beat those boys up?
-To protect you.
72
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,945
-You got a girlfriend, Nesbit?
-Norbit.
73
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:51,912
No.
74
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,977
Well, you do now.
Get your ass up and hold my hand.
75
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:59,122
-Okay.
-How you doing?
76
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:03,989
Everything changed
once I had Rasputia as my girlfriend.
77
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,224
We took care of each other,
78
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,860
and the other kids
started to respect me.
79
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,528
I'll take...
80
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,514
-Norbit.
-Come on.
81
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:27,752
And because of Rasputia,
for the first time in my life,
82
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,914
I had a real family.
83
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,218
Rasputia had three brothers.
84
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,817
Big Black Jack. He was the oldest.
85
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,088
Leg.
86
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,465
Then, there was Blue.
87
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,958
Breasts.
88
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:47,968
And Earl. He was the baby.
89
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,336
Wing.
90
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,641
They sure loved their little sister,
91
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,043
and so they treated me
like one of their own.
92
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:58,015
Here you go, Norbit.
Saved the best piece for you.
93
00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:02,117
-What's that?
-Turkey ass. Eat up, sucker.
94
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,017
Bon appetitty.
95
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,283
Bon appetitty.
96
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,926
The Latimores had a reputation
97
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:13,964
for being the meanest,
nastiest people in town,
98
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,728
but that's just because
folks didn't know them.
99
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:19,498
They were actually
very nice, hard-working people.
100
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,805
They ran
the local construction company,
101
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,936
and recently, responding to the needs
of the community...
102
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,034
Yo, Morris.
103
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,944
...had opened a little security business.
104
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,916
It was a surprisingly popular service
among the local vendors.
105
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:37,751
Hey, you don't shake me down.
I'm Italian. I shake you down.
106
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,381
-Is that right?
-Yes.
107
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,221
Get his ass in here.
108
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:49,659
I'm in.
109
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:56,272
As time passed,
Rasputia and I got closer and closer,
110
00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:01,109
in high school and as adults.
111
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,918
I started working as a bookkeeper
in her family's business.
112
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,587
I'm expecting
some important calIs today, Norbit,
113
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,324
so when you answer the phone,
try and sound white.
114
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:11,915
so when you answer the phone,
try and sound white.
115
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:14,652
It was like everything was
finally coming together.
116
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,727
Yes.
117
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:19,626
Of course,
it was only naturaI that Rasputia and l
118
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,326
would take the next step
in our relationship.
119
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,962
I now pronounce you man and wife.
120
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,232
You may kiss the bride.
121
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:57,095
Open your mouth.
122
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,771
Go, Rasputia!
123
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:11,806
It was a storybook wedding,
124
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,648
the beginning of a brand-new chapter.
125
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:21,092
I knew I would never be lonely again.
I had found my place in the world.
126
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,187
Poor Norbit. Man.
127
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,766
Back when I was in the game,
I used to tell my hos,
128
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:32,566
"Hos, ain't no man gonna pay for
the cow if he can get the milk for free."
129
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,106
You ain't got to worry
about this brother buying the milk,
130
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,005
'cause he just bought
the whole damn cow.
131
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,943
That's a speciaI cow, too.
132
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,843
That must be
where buttermilk come from.
133
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,506
Sing that shit, girl.
134
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,481
Them are not dimples.
Them are potholes in her ass.
135
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,884
Look like an Escalade
in a wedding dress.
136
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,593
It a horror show.
137
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,994
Norbit. What a woman you got.
138
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,032
-Hi, fellows.
-We're all jealous, right, boys?
139
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:04,625
-Oh, yeah. Way jealous.
-Wish I had one like that.
140
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,672
Norbit, let me talk to you for a second.
141
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,134
Look, just so we clear.
142
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:16,680
lf you ever hurt my sister in any way,
143
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:21,515
make her cry,
even make her sad one time,
144
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:26,249
I'm coming at you
with razor blades and lemon juice.
145
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,455
-You hear me?
-Yes.
146
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,620
I'm talking pain, boy.
147
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,893
Searing, mind-numbing pain.
148
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,467
I understand.
149
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,763
-You understand me?
-Yes, yes, yes.
150
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,167
all right.
151
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,604
-Welcome to the family.
-Thank you.
152
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,707
Somebody is take
a big hunk out of my cake!
153
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,584
What y'all looking at?
I ain't had no cake.
154
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,285
You better mind your damn business.
155
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:10,631
Hey, hey! Everyone!
156
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,364
I am Mr. Wong.
I am best man in wedding.
157
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:18,842
I feel it my place to say something,
make a toast to bride and groom,
158
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,845
tell story about Norbit.
I like Norbit father.
159
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,575
I raise Norbit. He like my own child.
160
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,085
And I want to say that
I very, very confused, Norbit,
161
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,485
that you... You marry Latimore.
162
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:34,389
I don't understand it, because
when you was a little boy, you say,
163
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:39,829
"One day I find the girI of my dreams."
And then you marry a gorilla.
164
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,559
I joke, I joke, I joke.
165
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,603
Why you not know joke
when you hear joke?
166
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,265
Why you wanna make fight at wedding?
167
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,743
CooI off, before I have to
bust somebody ass in here. Okay.
168
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,642
When Norbit just little boy,
169
00:11:55,748 --> 00:12:01,050
he like to always
run all over place naked. Always naked.
170
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:05,818
And Norbit, when he was just little boy,
had a pee-pee the size of an egg roll.
171
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:10,189
-You know, Norbit.
-That's true.
172
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:14,093
And one day, down by creek,
Norbit run around naked
173
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,102
and poisonous snake jump up
and bite Norbit right on ass.
174
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,940
Very close to hole.
175
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,068
Norbit pass out. I think Norbit is dead.
176
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:31,309
I go to check the boy puIse.
He still allve. He still allve!
177
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:35,080
"Okay," I say,
"I must do something to save child."
178
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:37,212
So, I start to think,
179
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:43,284
"Do I suck poison out of Norbit's ass
or do I let him die?"
180
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,858
I do the most responsible thing.
181
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,959
I say, "Hell to the no!
182
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,971
"Norbit is out of here,
183
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,973
"because it is long time in hell
184
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:59,442
"before Wong suck poison
out of another man's ass."
185
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,415
But strange, mystical thing
happen, Norbit.
186
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,613
Even though poison is in Norbit,
he not die.
187
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:13,180
Norbit get stronger and stronger.
188
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:17,695
That why I know, Norbit,
deep down inside, you very, very strong.
189
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,890
You strong like warrior.
190
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:23,230
That's why I say to you, Norbit,
you can survive anything.
191
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:24,899
Even...
192
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,002
So I say to everyone here, and to Norbit,
193
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:34,739
I wish you much happiness and peace
and love,
194
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:39,477
and lots of bananas for your new gorilla.
195
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,520
I only kidding. To Norbit and Rasputia.
196
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,086
Norbit, you know
what would be so romantic?
197
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:50,253
lf you'd carry me over the threshold
like a little chocolate drop.
198
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,396
Be delicate, now.
199
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,937
Put your back into it.
200
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:06,473
Come on, now. Be a man.
You ain't no man.
201
00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:08,610
Pathetic.
202
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:16,186
Rasputia, I know we're both nervous
because we've never done this before,
203
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:19,815
but we can take our time, darling.
ln sweet time.
204
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:29,499
Rasputia was so fulI of love.
205
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,502
Merry Christmas!
206
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,404
Ho, ho, ho!
207
00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:40,034
It was a love that sustained us
through the years.
208
00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:41,237
HaIt!
209
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,843
187. Officer down.
210
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,147
And it's still going strong.
211
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,647
Happy Presidents' Day!
212
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,490
God bless America.
213
00:14:57,796 --> 00:15:02,631
And so, we began our life together,
like any other happily married couple.
214
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,462
Morning, Rasputia.
215
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,060
"Morning, Rasputia," my ass.
216
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,298
I tell you what. You better do something
about that goddamn dog,
217
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,567
because I ain't gonna be
getting terrorized
218
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,972
by no dog on my own property.
219
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,271
I'm sick of it! I'm gonna go out
and purchase me a pellet rifle!
220
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,846
And then I'm gonna give him
something to bark about
221
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:18,508
when I start popping pellets
in his little bug-eyed bastard's ass.
222
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:23,076
Messing around with you,
now I'm gonna be late for dance class.
223
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,353
God damn it, Norbit.
224
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:33,454
How many times I got to tell you, when
you drive my car, don't adjust my seat!
225
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,966
-I haven't touched your seat.
-Then why is it up so damn far?
226
00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:40,266
It looks like it's back
as far as it goes, Rasputia.
227
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,905
No, you moved it. I can tell, 'cause look,
228
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,942
when I inhale,
my titty make the horn honk. Listen.
229
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,306
You see that?
230
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:50,145
-That ain't right.
-I hear it.
231
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:53,343
That scientifically prove
that you was adjusting my seat.
232
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,545
-That's not science.
-It is. Now just let it go.
233
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:58,054
-It's not science.
-I said let it go.
234
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,853
-I'm just...
-I said it was science, God damn it.
235
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:10,357
Why you think I want to sell
Golden Wonton Restaurant?
236
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,663
I got a good business.
237
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,295
It practically run itself.
I make a lot of money here.
238
00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:20,675
Every man got a price.
We think this might be yours.
239
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,930
And here is my counteroffer.
240
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,001
-Excuse me.
-all right, it's go time.
241
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,876
I not like rest of town people.
I not intimidated by Latimore.
242
00:16:56,982 --> 00:17:00,782
-You wrong, Wong. Relax, man.
-Be cooI with that thing, Mr. Wong.
243
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,581
Ling Ling, get my pistol!
244
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,748
That dude is crazy.
Let's get the hell out of here!
245
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,419
I never sell to Latimore! Ever! Ever!
246
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,463
all right! Y'all ready, class?
Are y'all ready?
247
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:19,162
We gonna perforate!
We gonna penetrate!
248
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:20,802
We gonna percolate!
249
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,671
We gonna palpitate!
250
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:28,039
all because we wanna master the bate,
the art of power-tap the fat.
251
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,383
Come on, and power-tap the fat.
Take that, power-tap the fat.
252
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,314
Hey, you get your skinny ass
out of my way.
253
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,149
One, two, three, four.
I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.
254
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,383
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
255
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:43,154
I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.
One, two, three, four.
256
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,288
Ride the horse. Ride the horse!
257
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:51,465
Keep bucking, y'all!
Keep bucking! And slide!
258
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:55,768
Click clackety clack! Come on, slide!
Click clackety clack! Just slide!
259
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,275
Here come the cops.
Here come the cops.
260
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,677
They take me to jail.
They take me to jail.
261
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:06,114
Riverdance. Come on, white people.
Riverdance. Come on, white people.
262
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,947
Riverdance. Come on.
263
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,918
Now, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump me up.
264
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,614
Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump me down.
265
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:17,252
And one, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
266
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,627
And stretch it out.
Work your whole bicuspids area,
267
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:24,600
your whole bilaterals and bisexuals.
Very good.
268
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,068
Excuse me, Buster?
269
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,798
I think I need
a little adjustment over here.
270
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:30,033
Look at you,
looking like the Great Pumpkin, girl.
271
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,939
Trick or treat. What's going on?
272
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,275
Well, see, I was born with a trick hip
and it made me real bendy.
273
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,871
See, I'm just like licorice. Look.
274
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,309
Goddamn, girl,
that look like the harvest moon.
275
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,651
-Turn a brother to a werewolf.
-You just need to stop.
276
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:48,021
You know what?
Do you do any private lessons?
277
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:52,158
I could do private lessons
if you could do me a little favor.
278
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,322
What's that?
279
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:58,062
Just need you talk to your little brothers
about funding my little video tape.
280
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,933
I'm trying to make power-tap
more international.
281
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:01,596
I'm trying to be like Billy Blanks,
282
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,299
but double the money
and half the Blank.
283
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:05,103
That's a good idea.
284
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:09,340
Maybe I will, maybe I will.
But, first, I got to get that private lesson.
285
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,541
Okay. Call me, girl.
286
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,619
-I'll call you.
-I'll be your private dancer.
287
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,287
-Must be Saturday.
-Why is that?
288
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,186
Because here come Norbit,
right on schedule.
289
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,190
Almost set your watch to him.
290
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,661
Hey, Pope Sweet Jesus
and Lord Have Mercy.
291
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:31,963
How you guys doing, fellows?
292
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,094
Business is good.
293
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,730
Business is good.
It's almost like the good old days.
294
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:36,808
Yes, indeedy.
295
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,171
What do you mean,
"the good old days"?
296
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,837
The good old days, man,
back when we was pimping, Norbit.
297
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:41,935
You know.
298
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,342
-You guys used to pimp?
-"Used to"?
299
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,747
That's a violation. still pimping.
Once a pimp, always a pimp.
300
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,013
-Always. Forever.
-Boss player.
301
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,322
Rasputia sent me down here
to get the usual.
302
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:52,447
You guys are open, right?
303
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,582
We always open.
Go on and take yourself in there, Norbit.
304
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,887
We'll stack that up for you.
305
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,993
-Moniqua!
-Yes, Daddy.
306
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:04,557
Can you get King Kong
three large buckets, extra sauce?
307
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,160
-Please don't trim the fat.
-Yes, Daddy.
308
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,466
Please don't trim that fat.
She wilI kilI me.
309
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,098
Norbit, while I got your attention,
310
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,440
can I interest you in some new shoes,
maybe a haircut?
311
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,513
How about a bath or a sink?
312
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,276
Hey, don't tell me
you guys bought the bath store, too?
313
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,715
It's a perfect fit, man.
We used to sell bitches to johns.
314
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,287
Now we selling johns to bitches.
315
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,585
-Beds, bitches, and beyond!
-Sound like money to me.
316
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,716
No, thanks, guys.
317
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:30,021
I got to go do a puppet show
for the kids at the orphanage.
318
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,095
At the orphanage?
319
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:33,460
That's a nice thing you do
for them little kids over there.
320
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,089
Why don't you take
these little tater puffs
321
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,462
over there to them little children?
322
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,332
Oh, that's great, guys. That's sweet.
323
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,100
Wait, my puppets! I forgot my puppets!
324
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,674
I got to go. I got to go, guys.
325
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,640
-Where's his puppets?
-He ain't got no puppets.
326
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,380
What's Rasputia doing home so early?
327
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,553
'Sputia?
328
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,052
Oh, yeah, girl.
329
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,754
Come on, girl, that's sweet chocolate!
330
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:08,492
Okay, you in trouble, now.
You in trouble. You in trouble, now.
331
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,865
I'm Willy Wonka.
Get up on that Oompa Loompa.
332
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,310
That's sweet. Oh, yeah.
Take all that, girl.
333
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,107
Take it with your big old self, girl.
You ain't never had it like this.
334
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,444
You ain't never had it like this!
335
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,278
Hell, yeah.
Come on, we gonna do pig in a blanket.
336
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,750
Come on, pig in a blanket.
337
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,481
-Now squeal. Squeal! Squeal!
-Oink, oink, oink!
338
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:31,647
Take it from the back.
339
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:35,488
Damn, I feel like Willy Wonka,
all this sweet chocolate up in this...
340
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:42,056
Hey. How you doing, man?
What's good with you, brother?
341
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,294
How's it going, man? How you doing?
342
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:46,428
I'm Bust-a-move Perkin.
How you doing?
343
00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,130
Man, your wife was
just talking about you.
344
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,935
Man, she love you.
345
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:55,207
-You're Rasputia's tap dance teacher.
-Man, actually, I'm her power-tap guru.
346
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,942
I was just here
giving her a little tap lesson.
347
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,745
But you're naked.
348
00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,384
That's just so she could see
the various muscle groups
349
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:03,818
as I go through the various routines.
350
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:07,517
You see that there?
You can't see that with a turtleneck.
351
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,651
And you have an...
352
00:22:10,762 --> 00:22:13,822
Oh, man,
I'm just real passionate about dance.
353
00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:16,594
You can say the word "dance"
and he just jump up. Dance!
354
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,431
See that? See that there?
355
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:19,796
'Sputia?
356
00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:21,896
Norbit, Buster's a guest in our home.
357
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,668
How dare you insinuate
something like that?
358
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:25,333
Yeah, Orbit!
359
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,709
How dare you insinuate
something such like that!
360
00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:33,547
You know, I am actually offended
by your accusization, you understand?
361
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:37,019
And rather than sit here and have
a belligerent confrontation with you,
362
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,590
'cause I am a God-fearing man,
363
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:44,060
I'm'a do like Jesus H. Christ
would do in a situation such as such
364
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:46,960
and I'm gonna turn the other cheek.
365
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:48,362
Amen.
366
00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:54,995
You happy now?
367
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,075
Rasputia, you cheated on me!
368
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,802
Look, I told your ass
ain't nothing happened,
369
00:22:58,910 --> 00:22:59,968
and the next time you say
it happened again,
370
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:02,512
I'm gonna knock your teeth
out your mouth.
371
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,675
Rasputia, we took vows.
I'm your husband.
372
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:10,182
Rasputia, we took vows,
and you cheated on me!
373
00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,387
It never happened!
374
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,551
Yes, it did!
375
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:19,721
And that makes you
the queen of whores!
376
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,670
Hey, Norbit!
377
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:35,737
Run for your lives!
378
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,112
Bastard! Come here!
379
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:45,019
Oh, sweet Moses! Oh, my God!
380
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:47,489
Come here! Come here!
Come here to me!
381
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:48,752
No! Leave me alone!
382
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,487
You ain't nothing
but a goddamn coward!
383
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,960
Saddle tramp!
384
00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:00,067
That's what your stupid black ass get!
385
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:02,265
I hope you broke your ass!
386
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,533
Since you feel like running, Norbit,
387
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,477
why don't you run your ass
down to the Rib Shak
388
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,982
and get me a short stack of ribs?
389
00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:11,812
and get me a short stack of ribs?
390
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,477
Extra hot sauce.
391
00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,987
all this setting you straight
done got me famished.
392
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:27,990
I'm Little Red Riding Goose,
393
00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:30,727
walking through the forest,
minding my own business,
394
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:32,701
when all at once...
395
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:33,930
Hello.
396
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:37,702
-Who are you?
-I'm the big, bad pig of the forest.
397
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,573
My, what big eyes you have, Pig.
398
00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:42,670
The better to see you with, Goose.
399
00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:46,046
And my, what a big nose you have, Pig.
400
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:49,780
The better to smelI them scrumptious
goodies you got in your basket.
401
00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:52,516
Hey, let me take a look in there.
402
00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:56,788
Oh, no, you don't.
You're gonna try to steaI my food.
403
00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,328
No, I won't steaI your food.
404
00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:01,228
Don't let that pig
push you around, Goose.
405
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,461
Yeah, I'm tired of
you pushing me around.
406
00:25:04,569 --> 00:25:06,628
Look, I'm tired of
playing with your ass, bitch.
407
00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,330
I know you got ribs in that basket.
408
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,805
You better give them up smooth
409
00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:12,342
or I'm gonna break my hoof off
in your goose ass.
410
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:15,208
Oh, really? Well, why don't you get up
off of your lazy behind
411
00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:17,440
and go down to the Rib Shak
and get your own ribs?
412
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:20,177
Or better still,
why don't you just call Buster
413
00:25:20,285 --> 00:25:22,378
and tell him to come over
and power-tap you,
414
00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:24,614
because in addition to being
the pig of the forest,
415
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:27,521
you're aIso a saddle tramp,
whore, bitch pig...
416
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:31,756
Norbit! What you doing?
This supposed to be a children's show.
417
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:35,890
This remind me
of Chinese snuff film I once co-star in.
418
00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:39,437
I'm sorry. I got a little carried away.
419
00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:42,607
Wow, Norbit,
that was some puppet show.
420
00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:48,176
Oh, come on. You don't remember me?
421
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,408
-Kate. Kate.
-Come here!
422
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:56,976
Kate! Kate! Oh, God!
I can't believe it! Kate!
423
00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,348
Well, can I have a hug?
424
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,717
Norbit.
425
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,491
It just like old times.
426
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:10,295
Maybe you two go take poop together.
427
00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:19,103
This place has not changed at all.
428
00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:22,976
Oh, yeah. Some of this furniture's
even come back in style.
429
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,345
So, how long are
you gonna be visiting for?
430
00:26:25,450 --> 00:26:27,680
No, I'm not visiting. I'm moving back.
431
00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:30,619
Really? Wow.
432
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,418
I sold my clothing business in Atlanta,
433
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:36,722
and I'm going to use the money
to buy the orphanage.
434
00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:38,261
What?
435
00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:43,334
Mr. Wong's getting older.
He wants to go whallng, so...
436
00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:47,829
You know, it's always been my dream
to come back here and take over.
437
00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:49,937
That's great.
438
00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:53,110
Norbit, look.
439
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,676
That's the tree we got married under.
440
00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:02,443
You know, I've still got my ring.
441
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,218
I ate mine.
442
00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:09,485
I missed you so much when you left.
443
00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:12,592
I missed you, too.
444
00:27:15,066 --> 00:27:16,658
That's my car.
445
00:27:17,736 --> 00:27:20,967
We didn't really get a chance
to catch up much.
446
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,508
I'll be back in town on Tuesday.
You wanna have lunch?
447
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,638
Yeah, I would love to
have lunch on Tuesday.
448
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:29,975
-I love lunch.
-Okay.
449
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:33,812
Lunch, yes. For sure.
I love lunch. Tuesday.
450
00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:35,343
I'll see you Tuesday.
451
00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:39,048
I'll see you on Tuesday.
We'll have lunch on Tuesday.
452
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,549
Tuesday.
453
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,689
Tuesday. Tuesday.
454
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:48,459
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,
Tuesday.
455
00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:52,499
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...
456
00:27:52,604 --> 00:27:56,404
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,
Tuesday, Tuesday...
457
00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:04,238
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.
458
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:07,512
Tuesday, Tuesday...
459
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:11,555
Say "Tuesday" again
and you ain't gonna see Wednesday!
460
00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,783
I got it. I'll get it. Tuesday.
461
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:17,223
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.
462
00:28:18,163 --> 00:28:19,960
-Buster. How you doing? You look great.
-Hey.
463
00:28:20,065 --> 00:28:22,226
-Oh, thank you, man.
-Good to see you. Good to see you.
464
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,324
Thank you.
I thought you were gonna be at work.
465
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:25,698
Yeah, I'm on my way out now.
466
00:28:25,804 --> 00:28:27,965
But hey, look,
there's cold beer in the refrigerator
467
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,200
and there's fresh sheets on the bed.
Go have a great dance lesson.
468
00:28:30,308 --> 00:28:31,468
-all right.
-all right.
469
00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:32,804
Power-tap.
470
00:28:32,911 --> 00:28:35,709
Very good, very good.
471
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,183
Tuesday.
472
00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,878
What's wrong with your boy?
He real cooI all of a sudden.
473
00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:48,823
Yeah, I don't know what the hell got
into him, but I know I got dance fever.
474
00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:51,395
Ready for a little power-tap, huh?
475
00:28:52,831 --> 00:28:54,628
Lord, give me strength.
476
00:28:55,366 --> 00:28:56,958
Hey, Sam, happy Tuesday.
477
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,228
Norbit.
478
00:28:58,336 --> 00:28:59,462
Norbit.
479
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:02,438
-Hey, Kate. Hi.
-Come on, I got us a table.
480
00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:04,235
Great. I've been looking forward to this
all week.
481
00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:05,809
Good.
482
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,537
Hey.
483
00:29:08,179 --> 00:29:09,237
Hey. Who's he?
484
00:29:09,347 --> 00:29:11,406
Norbit, this is my fiancé, Deion Hughes.
485
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,508
How you doing, my man?
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
486
00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:16,746
-This is your fiancé?
-Yes, sir.
487
00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:19,688
I was just telling Deion that you and l
were buddy partners at the orphanage.
488
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,725
Now she and I are buddy partners.
489
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:25,762
Shame on you, man,
letting a girI go like this. I feel for you.
490
00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:28,332
And so Deion's got all this experience
in real estate,
491
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:31,368
so he's going to help me buy
the orphanage, Norbit. It's so exciting!
492
00:29:31,469 --> 00:29:33,198
No, wait, wait. No, no.
Slow down, slow down.
493
00:29:33,304 --> 00:29:35,966
I mean, you know,
we're just out here just scouting it out.
494
00:29:36,074 --> 00:29:38,133
all right? This is her nest egg,
you know.
495
00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,904
I don't want her
making any hasty decisions
496
00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:41,808
that she might regret later, you know?
497
00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:44,438
She worked too hard for this money,
man, you know what I mean?
498
00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:47,074
Deion, you take
such good care of me, baby.
499
00:29:47,185 --> 00:29:49,847
It's my job. Stop it.
500
00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:51,987
Okay?
501
00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:59,286
Don't you just love Tuesdays?
502
00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:08,362
Lloyd, just tell me why it has to hurt
so GD much.
503
00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,401
What's the matter, boy?
504
00:30:14,512 --> 00:30:18,573
You sensing an earthquake
or some other sort of naturaI disaster?
505
00:30:24,055 --> 00:30:25,886
That's just my...
506
00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:27,821
My wife.
507
00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:40,230
A man needs his own space.
508
00:30:49,948 --> 00:30:53,611
Finally! For the love of Cain.
509
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,058
Moses!
510
00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:05,328
I'll see you suckers
tomorrow at the picnic!
511
00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:22,479
Damn it, Norbit!
How many times I got to tell you,
512
00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:23,911
don't be messing with my car seat!
513
00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:25,880
Nobody touched your old, stupid seat.
514
00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:29,351
Then how come
it's all mushed up like this, then?
515
00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:31,422
Well, you know, Rasputia,
you've been eating so much lately
516
00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:36,118
there's a very strong possibility that...
The car is shrinking.
517
00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:39,219
Might be shrinking.
The car is being smaller.
518
00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:44,029
Yeah, you might be right. Been raining
a lot lately. all this moist weather.
519
00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:47,662
-Oh, yeah? That'll make it shrink.
-This weather's so moist.
520
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,706
How you doing?
521
00:32:00,118 --> 00:32:03,485
Don't cha wish your girlfriend
was hot like me
522
00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:06,386
Don't cha wish your girlfriend
was a freak like me
523
00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:08,188
Don't cha
524
00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:12,329
Look at that dog over there,
eyeballing me.
525
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,126
Rasputia, what are you doing?
526
00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:16,495
Shut up!
527
00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:20,799
-Hey, slow down! You're gonna hit him!
-I got you now. I got you now!
528
00:32:23,741 --> 00:32:25,800
-Stop it! No!
-I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you.
529
00:32:25,910 --> 00:32:29,073
Rasputia, don't! No! No! No!
530
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:36,955
I know what that sound means!
531
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:37,387
I know what that sound means!
532
00:32:37,488 --> 00:32:39,718
Bark! How you doing!
533
00:32:39,824 --> 00:32:41,018
Lloyd!
534
00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:44,220
Enough is enough.
535
00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:47,355
Now, where in the hell
do you think you're going?
536
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,326
Lloyd's in the hospitaI because of you!
537
00:32:49,434 --> 00:32:51,459
Yeah, that's right.
I put his little dog ass in the hospital.
538
00:32:51,569 --> 00:32:54,163
And I'd have put it in the morgue, too,
if you didn't mess with my car seat.
539
00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:55,671
It threw off my driving skilIs.
540
00:32:55,773 --> 00:33:02,303
Rasputia, you are a mean, selfish, cold,
heartless woman, and I am leaving you!
541
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,505
-You leaving me?
-Yes!
542
00:33:05,283 --> 00:33:07,012
Well, where the hell
you think you're going, big shot?
543
00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:08,847
You ain't got no money.
You ain't got no family.
544
00:33:08,953 --> 00:33:10,545
Everything is in my name, the car,
the house...
545
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,146
You ain't nothing and you ain't gonna
never be nothing without me, Norbit!
546
00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,193
Norbit, you just can't leave!
Norbit, please, I'm with child!
547
00:33:19,630 --> 00:33:21,257
With child?
548
00:33:21,366 --> 00:33:25,803
Oh, yes, Norbit, can't you tell?
I'm getting a little belly.
549
00:33:26,871 --> 00:33:29,897
And my titties is all achy and itchy-like.
550
00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:33,340
Oh, Norbit, we gonna be a family.
551
00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:40,178
Oh, Norbit, come hug me,
Daddy, please.
552
00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:44,919
Please, Norbit.
553
00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:05,867
I understand, little pony.
554
00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:08,669
I know your pain.
555
00:34:10,014 --> 00:34:11,914
Oh, yes, I know.
556
00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:16,076
Excuse me, snow bunny.
557
00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:19,588
I don't come in your jurisdiction,
throwing town picnics.
558
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:23,626
Yet here you is all up in mines,
pimping hos.
559
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:25,360
It's just a kissing booth.
560
00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:29,194
Call it what you will,
but Pope Sweet Jesus
561
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,961
is taking half.
562
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,564
You work for me now, ho.
563
00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:36,929
Sure.
564
00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,440
Let me taste the goods.
565
00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:39,976
Put it on me.
566
00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:42,974
-Greasy.
-Greasy.
567
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,912
We back in business.
568
00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:50,345
I wanna be a ho. How do I apply?
569
00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:54,684
Please, Lord Jesus, help me!
Look, look, tickets! Hey, tickets, tickets.
570
00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:56,384
-Let me go! Let me go!
-Line up with your buddy.
571
00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:57,654
Line up with your buddy.
572
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,195
-You got one, sweetie.
-Can we go on the jumper?
573
00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:00,286
Yeah, yeah, you go.
574
00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:03,367
Baby, you know I love you.
I love these kids.
575
00:35:03,468 --> 00:35:05,493
It's just that
I don't think buying an orphanage
576
00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,697
is the right move financially right now.
That's all.
577
00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:10,865
Hey, this is not
a financiaI decision, Deion.
578
00:35:10,975 --> 00:35:13,341
-I thought you understood that, baby.
-No. No, I do. I do, baby.
579
00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:16,174
But this the call I was telling you...
The business call, it's very important.
580
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,145
Let's talk about it
when I get back to the house, okay?
581
00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:19,477
You're not going to stay?
582
00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:21,916
No, very important. Here.
583
00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:27,052
Hello? It's never a bad time for you.
584
00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:30,683
Stop it! Stop!
585
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:32,092
Norbit!
586
00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:34,293
-Hey.
-Hi.
587
00:35:36,033 --> 00:35:37,000
Hey.
588
00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:39,797
-I didn't know you were gonna be here.
-Oh, yeah.
589
00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:42,236
Hey, you know, I just saw Deion leaving.
590
00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:45,641
He had some business to take care of.
591
00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,771
So, who are you here with?
592
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,038
My wife.
593
00:35:54,385 --> 00:35:58,082
-Norbit, I didn't know you were married.
-Yeah.
594
00:35:58,189 --> 00:36:02,216
-Well, that's wonderful. Really.
-Thank you so much.
595
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,987
So, where is she?
596
00:36:05,763 --> 00:36:08,163
Right over there in the print outfit.
597
00:36:08,266 --> 00:36:11,201
The one talking to the girI by the bench?
598
00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:15,033
No, the one sucking the jelly
out of them donuts.
599
00:36:18,876 --> 00:36:21,811
Oh, yeah. She's pretty.
600
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:24,944
That's cherry.
Is that cherry or strawberry?
601
00:36:25,049 --> 00:36:27,574
What are my kids doing? Peter! Theo!
602
00:36:27,685 --> 00:36:30,051
I don't want you bothering anyone.
603
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:32,890
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Rice.
604
00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:35,185
Mrs. Rice?
My name ain't no damn Mrs. Rice.
605
00:36:35,293 --> 00:36:37,693
Oh, I just thought
'cause you're married to Norbit...
606
00:36:37,795 --> 00:36:38,921
Who the hell are you?
607
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:42,090
Kate, this is my wife,
Rasputia Latimore,
608
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,599
and, Rasputia, this is Kate.
609
00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:46,398
-Nice to meet you.
-Hello.
610
00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:48,734
Kate's an old friend of mine
from the orphanage.
611
00:36:48,839 --> 00:36:51,569
Latimore, as in Latimore Construction?
612
00:36:51,676 --> 00:36:53,507
Yes, that's right,
as in Latimore Construction.
613
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:54,873
That's right. Why?
614
00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:56,344
Well, just that this is perfect,
615
00:36:56,447 --> 00:36:59,939
'cause I was going to come see
you guys about a renovation of...
616
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,651
I ain't come out here for that.
617
00:37:01,752 --> 00:37:04,084
I'm out here to enjoy these festivities,
not to be talking no business.
618
00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:05,678
You wanna talk business,
my brother is Big Black Jack
619
00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:06,757
over there by the BB guns.
620
00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:08,586
Go over there and talk to him.
I ain't got no time for this.
621
00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:10,456
Oh, sure, okay.
622
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,290
Well, go on, get.
623
00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:15,126
-Okay.
-Okay.
624
00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:22,166
-Come here.
-What, Rasputia?
625
00:37:22,273 --> 00:37:24,741
You thinking about creeping, ain't you?
626
00:37:24,842 --> 00:37:25,934
We're just friends.
627
00:37:26,043 --> 00:37:28,739
What'd I tell you about having friends?
628
00:37:28,846 --> 00:37:30,370
Go over there
and get me another wine cooler.
629
00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,745
It's hot as hell out here.
Don't you see I'm sweItering?
630
00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:36,445
-Rasputia, you can't drink wine.
-Why the hell not?
631
00:37:37,788 --> 00:37:41,224
-You're with child.
-With child? I ain't with no...
632
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,328
Oh, that was... I had gas. I still got it.
633
00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:51,557
There's your child.
Now, go get me something to drink.
634
00:37:59,977 --> 00:38:01,308
Twins!
635
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:03,673
Hey! You come back here!
636
00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,811
-Oh, my God!
-Move your fat ass, boy.
637
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,150
Look, you got one!
638
00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:15,692
Get him. Get him, Big Black.
639
00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:19,829
Are you Big Black Jack?
640
00:38:20,197 --> 00:38:21,824
What it look like?
641
00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:24,298
Oh, well.
642
00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:27,530
Me and my fiancé
are buying the Golden Wonton...
643
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:30,971
Wong's place? He's selling it to you?
644
00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,600
Yeah. Why is that surprising?
645
00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:35,872
Miss Thomas, Miss Thomas, let's go.
They're starting the music.
646
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,447
-Oh, great!
-Come on. Let's go.
647
00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:40,039
Can we finish this up later?
Apparently I have to go dance now.
648
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,642
all right, baby. You go dance now.
649
00:38:43,921 --> 00:38:46,287
The orphanage is in play.
650
00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,121
Y'all better give me my hat.
Give me the hat!
651
00:38:52,229 --> 00:38:53,662
Here, take her hat.
652
00:38:53,864 --> 00:38:57,493
You think I won't come up in here?
I'm gonna come up in here.
653
00:39:06,744 --> 00:39:07,733
You think I'm playing?
654
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:09,574
Give me the hat right now,
or I'm gonna tear your leg off.
655
00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:12,409
Hey, Norbit, come on!
656
00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,485
Oh, no. No, I can't.
Rasputia's waiting for me.
657
00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:17,918
-Come on, dance with us.
-No, really, I shouldn't...
658
00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:21,617
Don't think I won't kilI a child.
I'll kilI a child in front of everybody.
659
00:39:21,726 --> 00:39:23,626
Little street urchins.
660
00:39:25,629 --> 00:39:29,087
Okay. That's it.
Now it's time to bring the pain.
661
00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:38,664
Dance, Norbit, dance! Come on!
662
00:39:43,447 --> 00:39:44,573
My hat!
663
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,878
It's raining little white women.
664
00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:52,888
My prayers have been answered!
665
00:39:52,990 --> 00:39:56,050
She'd better move,
'cause my prayer is for a Cadillac.
666
00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:08,534
You little bastards.
667
00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:14,540
Where the hell is Norbit
with that wine cooler?
668
00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,442
I'm thirsty as hell.
669
00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:27,446
Oh, hell, no.
670
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,119
Oh, he's lost his mind.
671
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,221
Bitch, that's my wine cooler!
672
00:40:35,332 --> 00:40:38,529
It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
673
00:40:38,636 --> 00:40:40,831
It's your birthday?
You think it's your birthday, huh?
674
00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:43,372
Norbit's got moves, everybody! Yeah!
675
00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:45,873
You got him loose, don't you,
you little skinny bitch?
676
00:40:45,976 --> 00:40:49,139
I see what you trying to do.
I see just what you trying to do.
677
00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:53,012
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
Come on, everybody!
678
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,106
Go, Norbit!
679
00:40:54,218 --> 00:40:57,085
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
680
00:40:57,188 --> 00:40:59,122
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
681
00:40:59,223 --> 00:41:01,987
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go...
682
00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:03,150
Norbit!
683
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:13,535
Crooked employees?
Unlicensed doctors?
684
00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:15,229
Lipstick on your husband's collar?
685
00:41:15,339 --> 00:41:17,000
Find out who you're really deallng with.
686
00:41:17,107 --> 00:41:19,632
Send $29.95
to Background Checks by Mail,
687
00:41:19,743 --> 00:41:22,075
P.O. Box 1 19, Locust FalIs.
688
00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:23,441
Hey, buddy partner.
689
00:41:23,547 --> 00:41:27,449
Hi, Kate. Hi, nice to see you.
How you doing?
690
00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,614
I'm good, but how about you
and your head?
691
00:41:30,721 --> 00:41:32,484
Oh, I'm doing better.
692
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:37,084
The doctor said if it weren't for
my hard Afro, it could have killed me.
693
00:41:41,665 --> 00:41:45,226
Are you sure you're okay, Norbit?
That sounds kind of fast.
694
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:49,602
Oh, well, they're doing some tests.
They're kind of monitoring me.
695
00:41:51,575 --> 00:41:54,203
Well, I don't know about this stuff,
but 1 10 beats per minute,
696
00:41:54,311 --> 00:41:57,280
that's kind of high. 120...
697
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,808
Oh, my goodness, 130!
698
00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:03,353
Yeah, maybe the machine's broke.
I'm just gonna take these off.
699
00:42:15,733 --> 00:42:16,791
You Deion Hughes?
700
00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:18,266
Who's asking?
701
00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:20,359
We the Latimores.
702
00:42:20,471 --> 00:42:22,632
Yeah. Latimore Construction.
703
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,401
And we run this town.
704
00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:27,807
Your woman was telling us how y'all
was planning on buying the orphanage.
705
00:42:27,912 --> 00:42:29,709
Kate has her plans and I have mine.
706
00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:32,247
Well, it looks like the only plans you got,
my man, is leaving.
707
00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:34,180
I ain't sticking around
raising no damn orphans.
708
00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:36,617
I got kids of my own
I ain't even bringing up.
709
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,415
So, you was just hustling her?
710
00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:41,753
Break it to her gentle for me,
would you? I'm out!
711
00:42:42,526 --> 00:42:45,893
Hold up, player.
I think you missing the flow here.
712
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,865
That orphanage she buying,
that's a huge property,
713
00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:51,025
outside of town, zoned commercial.
714
00:42:51,135 --> 00:42:52,602
Even got a liquor license.
715
00:42:52,703 --> 00:42:54,136
lnteresting.
716
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,433
It's a perfect place for a titty bar.
717
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:59,106
-Did you say "titty bar"?
-Titties.
718
00:42:59,209 --> 00:43:00,642
We got it all worked out.
719
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:03,304
We gonna call it Nipplopolis.
720
00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:04,979
Nipplopolis.
721
00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:07,575
Shit got a ring to it, don't it?
722
00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:10,515
We talking about overpriced,
watered-down alcohol
723
00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:13,522
and fake tig old bitties in abundance.
724
00:43:13,724 --> 00:43:15,316
Ain't gonna be nothing but tax-free,
725
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,417
under-the-table, pure cash money.
Big time!
726
00:43:17,528 --> 00:43:18,495
That's right.
727
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:22,896
all you got to do is swing us the deal
and we make you partner.
728
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,262
And what about Kate?
729
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:27,895
lf you marry her,
it's as much yours as hers.
730
00:43:28,806 --> 00:43:33,436
Norbit, I really want you
to be a part of the orphanage.
731
00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,808
The kids are crazy about you.
732
00:43:35,913 --> 00:43:37,938
-They're good kids.
-Yeah.
733
00:43:38,048 --> 00:43:41,609
You know, I'm gonna take them
bike riding tomorrow, down by the lake.
734
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,653
Why don't you come?
735
00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:46,846
I don't know if I could go for a bike ride.
736
00:43:47,057 --> 00:43:50,083
I never... I didn't really know how, the...
737
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:53,459
I can't ride a bike still.
738
00:43:54,164 --> 00:43:56,394
You never learned? What?
739
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:58,525
Well, you left, you know,
740
00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:00,160
and there was nobody
there to teach me.
741
00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:02,204
And Wong don't ride.
742
00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:05,766
Okay, we'll do something eIse.
The water park.
743
00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,639
The kids have been begging me
to take them there.
744
00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:09,440
Oh, I don't know about the water park.
745
00:44:09,546 --> 00:44:11,776
Come on, it's a Saturday.
You don't have to work.
746
00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:15,283
Yeah, I know, but it's the park
and it's watery,
747
00:44:15,386 --> 00:44:21,018
and there's a potentiaI hell to pay
if I were to be there maybe...
748
00:44:21,892 --> 00:44:24,520
Hey, what are you doing
with those things, Kate?
749
00:44:24,628 --> 00:44:27,722
Well, I'm just going to have to shock you
tilI you say yes.
750
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:29,696
Hey, come on, Kate.
Don't play with those.
751
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,462
-Those things are plugged in. It's hot.
-Clear.
752
00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:34,935
No, no clear. No clear. Stop, Kate.
Stop, Kate.
753
00:44:35,039 --> 00:44:36,734
Come on. Yes.
754
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,105
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Yes, yes, yes, yes! Okay, stop. Nurse!
755
00:44:52,723 --> 00:44:57,524
Oh, my God, Deion. This is beautiful.
I didn't even know you could cook.
756
00:44:57,728 --> 00:45:00,856
I just wanted to do something special
for you, you know, from the heart.
757
00:45:00,964 --> 00:45:02,898
Well, I am feeling it.
758
00:45:04,902 --> 00:45:08,895
Let's do it. Let's get married, right away.
I don't wanna wait.
759
00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:13,068
-Deion.
-Church is free on Saturday.
760
00:45:15,212 --> 00:45:16,804
You're serious?
761
00:45:16,914 --> 00:45:20,042
-Baby, we belong together.
-Yeah.
762
00:45:20,517 --> 00:45:23,384
-I want to. Saturday.
-Yeah. Yes!
763
00:45:24,988 --> 00:45:28,219
-Thank you.
-Oh, no, thank you.
764
00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:48,802
Norbit!
765
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:51,813
Hi. Hey. Good morning, Rasputia.
766
00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:54,611
Good morning.
How are you this morning?
767
00:45:54,718 --> 00:45:56,413
Where the hell you going?
768
00:45:58,422 --> 00:46:01,653
Nowhere special.
I was just gonna go out to...
769
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:05,195
-I was just going over to Raging Waters.
-Raging Waters?
770
00:46:05,295 --> 00:46:09,322
Yes. It's this thing
I got roped into, darling.
771
00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:12,925
You know, I was at this orphanage
when I was raised, and...
772
00:46:13,036 --> 00:46:14,162
And the people from the orphanage
773
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:16,296
and now they're taking other orphans
to Raging Waters
774
00:46:16,406 --> 00:46:18,499
so they asked me to come
and give back to the community,
775
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,134
so I'm trying to, you know, do my part.
776
00:46:21,245 --> 00:46:24,009
Little Miss Skinny Bitch gonna be there?
777
00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,278
You mean Miss Ling Ling?
778
00:46:26,383 --> 00:46:28,476
You know damn well
I ain't talking about no Miss Ling Ling.
779
00:46:28,585 --> 00:46:30,883
I'm talking about Miss Thing Thing
from that picnic.
780
00:46:30,988 --> 00:46:32,478
Miss Thing Thing from the picnic?
781
00:46:32,589 --> 00:46:34,682
Who are you talking about, sweetheart?
I don't even...
782
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:39,024
Wait, I think I remember now.
A girl, she had the foreign name.
783
00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:46,697
-Something Russian.
-Kate, bitch!
784
00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:49,932
Kate! Of course it's Kate. Yes,
I don't know if Kate's gonna be there.
785
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,804
I hadn't even thought about it.
It didn't even cross my mind.
786
00:46:52,910 --> 00:46:56,175
I wonder, wilI Kate be there?
Damn good question.
787
00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,180
Well, I'm going.
788
00:46:58,282 --> 00:46:59,442
No!
789
00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:00,984
You don't like water parks,
Rasputia. No.
790
00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:02,781
You don't like water parks,
Rasputia. No.
791
00:47:02,886 --> 00:47:05,878
Who don't like water parks? I love them.
They're just like amusement parks,
792
00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:08,116
except you ain't got to get off the ride
to go to the bathroom.
793
00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:09,522
How you doing?
794
00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:13,453
Great.
795
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,895
There you go. Have fun.
796
00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:20,936
There you go, Brian.
Nick, there's one for you.
797
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:26,165
all right, kids, everybody please be nice
to Mrs. Latimore, okay?
798
00:47:26,276 --> 00:47:28,676
-Okay.
-Okay.
799
00:47:29,046 --> 00:47:32,880
Kate, I hope you don't mind.
I asked Rasputia to join us.
800
00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:36,146
Of course not.
I'm really glad you could come.
801
00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:40,052
Well, are we gonna stand around here
all day or we gonna go inside?
802
00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:41,317
Excuse me.
803
00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:45,024
Excuse me, ma'am.
804
00:47:45,662 --> 00:47:46,993
What?
805
00:47:48,565 --> 00:47:50,624
Are you wearing bottoms?
806
00:47:50,734 --> 00:47:53,134
Of course I'm wearing bottoms!
807
00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:56,429
Okay. Come on in.
808
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,599
How dare you?
809
00:48:04,214 --> 00:48:06,182
Oh, hell, no.
810
00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:16,952
How you doing!
811
00:48:22,366 --> 00:48:23,492
This ain't like no real beach,
812
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,569
'cause on a real beach you got people
walking around with ice chests
813
00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:30,071
and you can get all kinds of treats
like sandwiches and potato chips
814
00:48:30,173 --> 00:48:33,836
and Mentos and Skittles
and all sorts of delectables.
815
00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:35,673
You can't get shit here!
816
00:48:35,779 --> 00:48:38,805
Well, you know,
there's a concession stand.
817
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,213
You going?
818
00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:42,408
No, I already ate.
819
00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:44,714
Well, you could have fooled me.
820
00:48:44,821 --> 00:48:45,879
I'm sorry?
821
00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:49,015
I'm just trying to say
you too damn skinny. Look at you.
822
00:48:49,126 --> 00:48:52,118
See, most men like a woman
that got a little... Or a little...
823
00:48:52,229 --> 00:48:53,992
You ain't got nothing.
You just skin and bones,
824
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,463
just sitting in that chair
all bones and skin.
825
00:48:56,566 --> 00:48:58,124
I feel sorry for you.
826
00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:01,671
Well, I just feel that we're all made
exactly the way we're supposed to be.
827
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,137
Oh, no. Hell, no. I'm a Christian,
828
00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:06,698
and you ain't gonna sit there
and blame God for how you look, okay?
829
00:49:06,810 --> 00:49:08,641
You the one that
pushed that plate away.
830
00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:10,940
My Norbit is always telling me
there's two kinds of women,
831
00:49:11,048 --> 00:49:13,676
big old good ones
and good old big ones.
832
00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:15,273
Really?
833
00:49:15,385 --> 00:49:17,683
That's right. And, sister, let me tell you,
just between the two of us,
834
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,880
I can't keep Norbit off me.
835
00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:20,752
He is the biggest freak
you ever wanna meet
836
00:49:20,857 --> 00:49:22,381
and he be blowing my back out,
837
00:49:22,492 --> 00:49:24,756
trying to put me
through the headboard every night.
838
00:49:24,861 --> 00:49:26,453
I'm thinking about
going on a little diet or something
839
00:49:26,563 --> 00:49:28,258
so I can get
all emaciated-looking like you,
840
00:49:28,365 --> 00:49:29,696
then he'll think I look disgusting
841
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,768
and I can get a rest
or some sleep for a little while,
842
00:49:31,868 --> 00:49:35,326
because he want it all the time.
Just boom, bam, boom, boom, boom.
843
00:49:35,439 --> 00:49:37,873
But I ain't mad at him, hey.
844
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,840
I'm gonna go on a diet for sure,
next week.
845
00:49:39,943 --> 00:49:42,605
Right now I'm gonna get me
a lamb kabob and a wine cooler.
846
00:49:42,713 --> 00:49:45,978
How you doing?
Where is that wine cooler section?
847
00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:50,409
Miss Thomas, we're all going off
the Leap of Doom. Come on.
848
00:49:50,587 --> 00:49:52,953
Slowly. Slowly.
Someone's gonna fall down.
849
00:49:53,056 --> 00:49:55,684
You're gonna break your head in half
in a second. Slow down!
850
00:49:55,792 --> 00:49:57,020
Wait for me!
851
00:49:57,127 --> 00:50:01,757
I tell you, it sure is tiring chasing these
kids all around the water park, isn't it?
852
00:50:01,865 --> 00:50:04,163
Especially for us skinny folk.
853
00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:05,757
What?
854
00:50:05,869 --> 00:50:07,632
Never mind.
855
00:50:09,306 --> 00:50:12,469
So, Norbit, I have some news.
856
00:50:13,477 --> 00:50:16,105
Deion and l
decided to move up the wedding.
857
00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:17,873
What wedding?
858
00:50:17,981 --> 00:50:19,608
Our wedding.
859
00:50:19,916 --> 00:50:22,680
We're going to get married on Saturday.
860
00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:25,912
You're getting married on Saturday?
861
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:29,390
Yeah, we just figured, "Why wait?"
You know?
862
00:50:33,497 --> 00:50:37,763
Well... Congratulations, then.
863
00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:39,492
Thanks.
864
00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:41,195
-Yeah.
-I'm really happy.
865
00:50:41,304 --> 00:50:43,670
Oh, so am l. It's wonderful.
866
00:50:45,976 --> 00:50:48,171
So, there it is, the Leap of Doom.
867
00:50:48,278 --> 00:50:50,473
Yeah, go and have fun.
I'll wait for you at the bottom.
868
00:50:50,580 --> 00:50:51,547
You go have some fun.
869
00:50:51,648 --> 00:50:53,309
-Okay.
-Okay.
870
00:50:56,853 --> 00:50:59,185
Okay, kids, one at a time.
871
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,724
I guess this is me.
872
00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:10,530
What are you looking at, Norbit?
873
00:51:11,368 --> 00:51:16,328
I was just watching the... Some kids.
They're about to come down the slide.
874
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,772
I wanted to watch
the kids come down safely.
875
00:51:19,042 --> 00:51:20,634
-Kids, huh?
-Yeah.
876
00:51:20,977 --> 00:51:23,537
So, you wanna watch a bitch
come down a slide?
877
00:51:23,647 --> 00:51:26,081
Well, I'm gonna show you
how a bitch come down a slide.
878
00:51:26,183 --> 00:51:27,741
Oh, no...
879
00:51:33,957 --> 00:51:38,223
Excuse me, ma'am?
We have a 300-pound weight limit.
880
00:51:42,132 --> 00:51:46,796
I don't weigh no damn 300 pounds.
I weigh 165. How you doing?
881
00:51:48,738 --> 00:51:50,603
That was awesome.
882
00:51:55,545 --> 00:51:57,137
What's that?
883
00:52:00,584 --> 00:52:02,108
It's Rasputia.
884
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:06,018
I'm gonna show you
how a bitch go down a slide.
885
00:52:20,203 --> 00:52:22,103
I'm sliding, bitches!
886
00:52:27,244 --> 00:52:28,939
Mary, Mother of God.
887
00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:31,276
Slow down! Stop! Stop!
888
00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:50,356
How you doing?
889
00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:59,700
Why does she have to go
and get married, Lloyd?
890
00:52:59,809 --> 00:53:01,800
Things were going so well.
891
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:06,482
There it is.
892
00:53:07,884 --> 00:53:11,183
Hey. Sorry about the concussion.
893
00:53:12,222 --> 00:53:13,553
-It's okay.
-And the whiplash.
894
00:53:13,657 --> 00:53:16,319
-It's okay.
-And the bruised stomach.
895
00:53:17,127 --> 00:53:18,594
And the blood clot.
896
00:53:21,164 --> 00:53:22,529
Nothing.
897
00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:28,397
You know damn welI that's your baby.
898
00:53:28,505 --> 00:53:32,532
You know it's yours. Got the same chin.
The same lip.
899
00:53:32,642 --> 00:53:35,509
That baby got the same head as you
and the same eye...
900
00:53:35,612 --> 00:53:37,978
Go take the test. Take the test.
901
00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:39,605
You want to hear the test resuIts?
902
00:53:39,716 --> 00:53:41,183
ln the case of the little baby...
903
00:53:41,284 --> 00:53:43,309
Well, the test says that is your baby.
904
00:53:43,420 --> 00:53:44,751
How you doing?
905
00:53:47,257 --> 00:53:49,122
Latimore Construction, Norbit speaking.
906
00:53:49,226 --> 00:53:50,818
Hey, Norbit, it's Kate.
907
00:53:50,927 --> 00:53:53,327
Is there any way you can meet me
in town right now?
908
00:53:53,430 --> 00:53:54,590
Yeah, sure.
909
00:53:54,731 --> 00:53:56,028
Great. I'm at McCormick's.
910
00:53:56,132 --> 00:53:57,759
Okay. Fine.
911
00:54:03,607 --> 00:54:07,441
Rasputia, I'm just loaded up
with paperwork up to my ear.
912
00:54:07,544 --> 00:54:10,707
I was wondering, could you run
these permits downtown for me?
913
00:54:10,814 --> 00:54:13,044
Now you tell me
what in the hell I look like,
914
00:54:13,149 --> 00:54:16,414
running some goddamn permits
down to City Hall for your ass.
915
00:54:16,519 --> 00:54:17,621
You do it.
916
00:54:17,621 --> 00:54:17,916
You do it.
917
00:54:18,755 --> 00:54:19,915
Okay.
918
00:54:21,324 --> 00:54:23,189
-What's the surprise?
-No, I'm not telling you.
919
00:54:23,293 --> 00:54:25,921
TelI me. Hey, no, what are you doing?
920
00:54:26,029 --> 00:54:27,724
-Not tilI the last second.
-What? What?
921
00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:30,425
-You ready?
-Yeah, what is it?
922
00:54:31,801 --> 00:54:33,962
I know you don't think
I'm gonna get on that thing.
923
00:54:34,070 --> 00:54:36,300
-I think you're gonna get on that.
-Hey, no way. Hey.
924
00:54:36,406 --> 00:54:39,102
Come on! Look where you wanna go.
You're doing great.
925
00:54:39,209 --> 00:54:43,009
You got it? You got it? You got it?
926
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,206
Watch out for the fence!
927
00:54:47,350 --> 00:54:48,681
And the mailbox.
928
00:54:50,353 --> 00:54:53,379
Rasputia, the painters from
the Crestview site got food poisoning.
929
00:54:53,490 --> 00:54:55,390
There's vomit everywhere!
930
00:54:55,492 --> 00:54:58,290
You know damn well
you clean up all the vomit. You do it!
931
00:54:58,395 --> 00:55:01,421
-I don't feel safe.
-Yeah! You're doing great!
932
00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:05,762
Yeah.
933
00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:11,532
The Portosans at Drummond's
tipped over!
934
00:55:11,641 --> 00:55:13,541
Well, go clean the shit up!
935
00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:26,520
Rasputia?
936
00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:42,402
You do it!
937
00:55:43,873 --> 00:55:45,534
-I got it!
-Go!
938
00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:48,770
I'm getting it! I'm doing it!
939
00:55:48,878 --> 00:55:50,277
You're doing it! Yeah, but slow down!
940
00:55:50,380 --> 00:55:53,372
-How?
-With the brakes! The brakes!
941
00:55:58,888 --> 00:56:00,378
Oh, no. Are you okay?
942
00:56:00,490 --> 00:56:03,584
Yeah. Actually, that was kind of fun.
943
00:56:04,961 --> 00:56:07,623
-Come on.
-Okay, help me.
944
00:56:07,731 --> 00:56:09,858
-Okay?
-Yeah, yeah.
945
00:56:12,702 --> 00:56:16,536
So, I'm going to Giovanni's tonight
to choose the food for the reception.
946
00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:19,608
You wanna come? Help me decide?
947
00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:21,506
What about Deion?
948
00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:25,113
I just don't trust him with food.
949
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:27,615
You know,
he made dinner for us the other night.
950
00:56:27,717 --> 00:56:29,912
It tasted like cheap take-out.
951
00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,688
-Well, I'll go.
-Good.
952
00:56:35,792 --> 00:56:39,694
Well, I just have to go get my dress,
and then we can meet, say, at 7:00?
953
00:56:39,829 --> 00:56:41,057
Okay, that's great.
954
00:56:41,164 --> 00:56:43,962
-Perfect, Norbit.
-Okay, see you at 7:00.
955
00:56:45,635 --> 00:56:46,659
Norbit!
956
00:56:46,770 --> 00:56:48,260
all right. Yeah, Norby.
957
00:56:48,371 --> 00:56:50,305
7:00, don't be late.
958
00:56:50,974 --> 00:56:53,238
You guys are all pervs.
959
00:56:55,445 --> 00:56:56,810
I love it.
960
00:56:58,815 --> 00:57:00,112
What's wrong?
961
00:57:00,617 --> 00:57:02,744
Are you sure we're not rushing things?
962
00:57:02,852 --> 00:57:07,050
I know we're not. I know we're not.
I couldn't be happier.
963
00:57:09,192 --> 00:57:10,853
Norbit, that's a date.
964
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,292
No, it's not. She just wants someone...
965
00:57:13,396 --> 00:57:16,194
Are you paying for this encounter
this evening?
966
00:57:16,299 --> 00:57:17,288
Of course not!
967
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:21,131
Then that's a date.
Don't be trying to tell a pimp his game.
968
00:57:22,172 --> 00:57:23,764
Come on, baby.
969
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,136
-Thank you.
-Carmen, honey!
970
00:57:28,244 --> 00:57:29,711
all right.
971
00:57:32,081 --> 00:57:34,242
Well, who are you getting all fine for?
972
00:57:34,350 --> 00:57:37,217
Hello, Rasputia. Well, that's nice.
973
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,254
Oh, yeah, right.
Why you trying to look all extra today?
974
00:57:39,355 --> 00:57:42,882
Oh, I'm just, you know, being a girl.
975
00:57:45,662 --> 00:57:48,688
My fiancé likes it
when I take care of myself.
976
00:57:48,798 --> 00:57:50,823
Look to me like
that fish already in his net.
977
00:57:50,934 --> 00:57:53,164
You look like
you fixing to catch you a new fish.
978
00:57:53,269 --> 00:57:57,103
What? No. God. Don't be silly.
979
00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,271
You're married. You're here.
980
00:58:00,376 --> 00:58:01,934
I don't do this for my husband.
981
00:58:02,045 --> 00:58:04,707
Girl, I do this
because I have a reputation to uphold.
982
00:58:04,814 --> 00:58:08,841
Everybody in this town know that
Rasputia Latimore is fine. Ain't I fine?
983
00:58:08,952 --> 00:58:10,886
-You fine, girl! You are fine.
-Sister!
984
00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:12,181
Everybody knows.
985
00:58:12,288 --> 00:58:15,223
But even a delicate flower like me
need a little water from time to time.
986
00:58:15,325 --> 00:58:17,691
Or a little lye in her kitchen
to help straighten out them petaIs.
987
00:58:17,794 --> 00:58:19,022
How you doing?
988
00:58:19,128 --> 00:58:20,356
Rasputia.
989
00:58:20,463 --> 00:58:22,431
Helga waiting on you, girl,
to do your bikini wax.
990
00:58:22,532 --> 00:58:23,760
Here I come, girl.
991
00:58:23,867 --> 00:58:27,132
I got to go, girl. Every now and then
I got to mow the lawn.
992
00:58:27,270 --> 00:58:31,036
You just make sure
all that sprucing up is for your fiancé.
993
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,206
Helga, here I come, girl.
It's a fulI moon, too.
994
00:58:40,083 --> 00:58:41,880
Here we go, dear.
995
00:58:48,858 --> 00:58:51,418
I was looking for Norbit's police whistle.
996
00:58:51,794 --> 00:58:52,886
Go fish.
997
00:58:53,663 --> 00:58:54,630
What's up?
998
00:58:54,731 --> 00:58:56,665
Everything on schedule
with the wedding?
999
00:58:56,766 --> 00:58:58,757
I got my own problems, but I'll handle it.
1000
00:58:58,868 --> 00:59:00,563
What's this situation
you're talking about?
1001
00:59:00,670 --> 00:59:02,638
The liquor license on the orphanage.
1002
00:59:02,739 --> 00:59:05,606
It won't rolI over
when the property changes hands,
1003
00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:08,040
not without one of
these transfer requests upfront.
1004
00:59:08,144 --> 00:59:10,476
Yeah, and getting a new license
could take years.
1005
00:59:10,580 --> 00:59:13,276
Yeah, we'd be out of business
before we get started.
1006
00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:15,044
You think you can get Kate to sign that?
1007
00:59:15,151 --> 00:59:17,813
Hell, no. She's planning on
closing the restaurant.
1008
00:59:17,921 --> 00:59:19,548
It'd raise too many suspicions.
1009
00:59:19,656 --> 00:59:21,851
all right, smart-ass,
then what we gonna do now?
1010
00:59:21,958 --> 00:59:24,392
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1011
00:59:27,897 --> 00:59:28,886
Norbit.
1012
00:59:31,167 --> 00:59:33,567
-Where you going, Norbit?
-Sit your punk ass down.
1013
00:59:33,670 --> 00:59:37,766
Guys, I told Rasputia
the toilet needed to be reinforced
1014
00:59:37,874 --> 00:59:39,466
and she said
that I should take care of it,
1015
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:40,770
so I'm gonna go take care of that.
1016
00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:41,935
Forget that.
1017
00:59:42,045 --> 00:59:43,706
I can't. No, guys,
it's an accident waiting to happen.
1018
00:59:43,813 --> 00:59:45,781
-I have to deaI with it.
-I said forget that.
1019
00:59:45,882 --> 00:59:47,474
We need you to
get these papers signed tonight.
1020
00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:48,573
Oh, no. I can't do it tonight, guys.
1021
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:50,744
There's an accident waiting to happen.
I have to deaI with this...
1022
00:59:50,853 --> 00:59:53,481
Norbit, if you don't
get these papers signed tonight,
1023
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,353
we can't start
the remodeI on the orphanage.
1024
00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:56,482
That's right, punk ass.
1025
00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:59,153
BulIshit. I'm going for mine tonight.
I got things to do!
1026
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:01,321
Norbit, you better find that Kate Thomas
1027
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,796
and get her to sign.
1028
01:00:02,899 --> 01:00:04,059
Yeah.
1029
01:00:05,568 --> 01:00:07,160
Kate Thomas?
1030
01:00:07,270 --> 01:00:08,965
You want me to get these papers
to Kate Thomas?
1031
01:00:09,072 --> 01:00:10,266
Yeah.
1032
01:00:10,673 --> 01:00:11,662
Okay, that's more important.
1033
01:00:11,774 --> 01:00:13,969
I'll take care of this for you guys.
I'll get these to Kate Thomas.
1034
01:00:14,077 --> 01:00:16,602
-That's what I told you to do.
-Get your punk ass up.
1035
01:00:16,713 --> 01:00:17,975
Okay, I'm gonna go take these to Kate
1036
01:00:18,081 --> 01:00:20,106
and take my punk ass to Kate Thomas
right now.
1037
01:00:20,216 --> 01:00:22,081
Excuse me, pardon me.
Let me get through here. Thank you.
1038
01:00:22,185 --> 01:00:24,676
-Excuse me. Going through. Hi.
-Bitch ass.
1039
01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:27,381
Yes, I am a bitch ass. Excuse me.
Kate Thomas.
1040
01:00:30,126 --> 01:00:32,026
Hey, sorry I'm late.
1041
01:00:32,261 --> 01:00:34,695
Man, it's time for
a pimpallcious makeover. Let's do this.
1042
01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:37,288
all right. But nothing too flashy now.
I wanna be flashy, but not...
1043
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,391
Class. I don't want no....
1044
01:00:48,778 --> 01:00:50,609
Now, that's pimping.
1045
01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:55,208
all right, hair's bigger.
1046
01:01:14,137 --> 01:01:19,700
Okay. Well, I guess this is it, guys.
Thanks a lot for all your help.
1047
01:01:20,076 --> 01:01:21,634
Thanks for making me fly.
1048
01:01:21,744 --> 01:01:23,939
You fly like a flock of birds, baby.
1049
01:01:24,313 --> 01:01:26,645
-You look good.
-Thanks, guys.
1050
01:01:26,749 --> 01:01:30,446
-Handle this business for us, brother.
-I'm gonna handle it. Gonna handle it.
1051
01:01:30,653 --> 01:01:32,416
-Do the walk, Norbit.
-I got you.
1052
01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,513
Yeah. Norbit!
1053
01:01:42,899 --> 01:01:44,389
Wow, Norbit!
1054
01:01:46,402 --> 01:01:48,165
I just picked these
on the side of the road,
1055
01:01:48,271 --> 01:01:50,899
'cause this is just a casuaI get-together.
1056
01:01:51,007 --> 01:01:54,943
Sure. And you put the wires
up the stems, too. That's a nice touch.
1057
01:01:55,745 --> 01:01:57,610
-Norbit!
-Hey, Sam.
1058
01:01:59,982 --> 01:02:02,382
You dressed to kill, huh?
1059
01:02:02,485 --> 01:02:05,454
Katerina, you look beautiful.
Come sit, please.
1060
01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:10,715
I'm making my speciaIty just for you.
1061
01:02:10,827 --> 01:02:13,091
Hey. Did you make my favorite?
1062
01:02:13,196 --> 01:02:14,993
What do you think, huh?
1063
01:02:15,765 --> 01:02:18,893
I'm gonna take the flowers,
put them into water, okay?
1064
01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:20,926
He's a nice man.
1065
01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:24,331
Your favorite?
1066
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:26,806
I guess you and Rasputia
come here a lot, huh?
1067
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:29,605
Oh, no. We used to,
but she got banned for life
1068
01:02:29,712 --> 01:02:31,771
because Sam had
an all-you-can-eat buffet once
1069
01:02:31,881 --> 01:02:35,874
and she took it as a personaI challenge,
and it got pretty ugly.
1070
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,519
I wanna make a toast.
1071
01:02:38,621 --> 01:02:39,918
Oh, sure.
1072
01:02:42,325 --> 01:02:44,657
To old friends.
1073
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:46,729
To old friends.
1074
01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:52,025
We were buddy partners, all right,
Norbit. We were.
1075
01:02:54,103 --> 01:02:57,038
I tell you, you know,
1076
01:02:57,140 --> 01:03:01,440
sometimes I think
I should've never married Rasputia.
1077
01:03:01,911 --> 01:03:03,708
What do you mean, Norbit?
1078
01:03:03,813 --> 01:03:07,078
I was just really young, you know,
and she latched on to me
1079
01:03:07,183 --> 01:03:11,449
and kind of helped me fit in
and gave me a family, so...
1080
01:03:13,723 --> 01:03:15,054
We had nobody, Norbit.
1081
01:03:15,158 --> 01:03:18,616
I mean, who can blame us
for wanting to feel safe, you know?
1082
01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,627
Yeah, safe.
1083
01:03:22,165 --> 01:03:23,928
Like you and Deion?
1084
01:03:25,401 --> 01:03:26,527
Yeah.
1085
01:03:28,571 --> 01:03:33,440
I mean,
it's different with Deion, obviously.
1086
01:03:36,913 --> 01:03:38,608
So, what have you got here?
1087
01:03:38,714 --> 01:03:41,410
Those are just construction papers,
1088
01:03:41,517 --> 01:03:44,042
permits and stuff that you have to sign.
1089
01:03:46,289 --> 01:03:48,780
Kate, can I ask you
a personaI question?
1090
01:03:48,891 --> 01:03:50,483
Sure, what?
1091
01:03:55,097 --> 01:03:56,860
Do you love Deion?
1092
01:03:58,734 --> 01:04:01,897
Of course. Yeah.
1093
01:04:04,407 --> 01:04:07,865
Otherwise,
why would I be marrying him, right?
1094
01:04:09,645 --> 01:04:10,703
Right?
1095
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:17,244
-Got your pizza.
-It is about time.
1096
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,687
I'm about to disappear up in here
I'm so hungry.
1097
01:04:20,790 --> 01:04:22,621
Norbit out draining a swamp
or something.
1098
01:04:22,725 --> 01:04:27,992
Yeah, he's definitely draining a swamp.
He's draining a swamp like he would be.
1099
01:04:32,768 --> 01:04:35,566
-Why you looking at me like that?
-Where's Norbit?
1100
01:04:36,138 --> 01:04:39,801
Draining a swamp.
And why are you looking at me like that?
1101
01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:44,510
He's out there in the woods,
draining a swamp. I told you before.
1102
01:04:46,515 --> 01:04:48,642
I don't know nothing.
1103
01:04:49,619 --> 01:04:52,247
I don't know nothing, okay?
1104
01:04:58,094 --> 01:05:01,723
He's on a date with that fine skinny girl!
1105
01:05:12,441 --> 01:05:14,602
It's pain time here! I ain't having this!
1106
01:05:15,778 --> 01:05:18,611
Oh, hell, no. And on top of that
he been messing with my seat again?
1107
01:05:18,714 --> 01:05:20,375
Damn it, Norbit!
1108
01:05:24,954 --> 01:05:26,819
He got me destroying my shit.
1109
01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:38,597
This is it.
1110
01:05:38,701 --> 01:05:40,760
It's always so beautifuI in here.
1111
01:05:41,304 --> 01:05:42,828
Peaceful.
1112
01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:45,371
-Hello, Kate, Norbit.
-Hey.
1113
01:05:45,474 --> 01:05:48,875
Didn't know anybody was here.
I was getting ready to close up shop.
1114
01:05:48,978 --> 01:05:52,709
You know, Kate,
this all happened so fast,
1115
01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:56,080
I reallzed we never had
a chance to rehearse.
1116
01:05:56,185 --> 01:05:57,914
Oh, yeah, that's right.
1117
01:05:58,020 --> 01:05:59,112
So, come on up here.
1118
01:05:59,221 --> 01:06:01,689
Let me at least show you
where you're gonna stand.
1119
01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:03,383
-Come on.
-all right.
1120
01:06:06,662 --> 01:06:09,563
Rasputia. You know
you no allowed in here.
1121
01:06:09,665 --> 01:06:11,860
The hell with that. Where's Norbit?
1122
01:06:11,968 --> 01:06:15,233
I don't see Norbit.
Anybody is a see Norbit?
1123
01:06:15,338 --> 01:06:16,771
-No.
-He hasn't been here.
1124
01:06:16,872 --> 01:06:21,673
Then who was eating a turkey ass?
1125
01:06:23,112 --> 01:06:25,273
Run! Run! Run!
1126
01:06:26,449 --> 01:06:28,679
At which point
you'll give your vows to Deion.
1127
01:06:30,419 --> 01:06:32,649
You want to practice those?
1128
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:37,688
Well, I hadn't actually gotten to that
quite yet.
1129
01:06:37,927 --> 01:06:40,020
You don't even know
what you're gonna say yet?
1130
01:06:41,063 --> 01:06:44,123
Well, what would you say, Norbit?
I don't know.
1131
01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:46,066
What would I say?
1132
01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:49,430
Norbit!
1133
01:06:54,910 --> 01:06:58,812
Don't cha wish your girlfriend
was hot like me
1134
01:06:58,914 --> 01:07:03,010
Don't cha wish your girlfriend
was a freak like me
1135
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:04,086
Don't cha
1136
01:07:04,387 --> 01:07:07,015
What would I say if I was saying vows?
1137
01:07:07,156 --> 01:07:09,021
I guess...
1138
01:07:10,126 --> 01:07:11,218
Kate,
1139
01:07:12,828 --> 01:07:14,853
I think about you all day long.
1140
01:07:15,331 --> 01:07:19,495
And when I'm not near you,
1141
01:07:19,602 --> 01:07:22,435
all I think about is being near you.
1142
01:07:22,538 --> 01:07:24,233
And when you are near me,
1143
01:07:24,340 --> 01:07:27,002
I feel like I'm at peace
with the whole world.
1144
01:07:29,211 --> 01:07:31,111
I know that...
1145
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,611
I know I'll never have to
ask God for anything
1146
01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:37,015
'cause, as long as I have you in my life,
1147
01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:40,520
I got everything I ever wanted.
1148
01:07:43,526 --> 01:07:46,723
And the only thing
I really wanna do is just
1149
01:07:46,829 --> 01:07:51,698
spend the rest of my life making you
as happy as you've made me.
1150
01:07:53,602 --> 01:07:55,570
Because I love you, Kate.
1151
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,432
I love you.
1152
01:08:01,944 --> 01:08:03,878
I don't know. Something like that.
1153
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,008
And after the vows you would then...
1154
01:08:09,018 --> 01:08:10,007
Okay.
1155
01:08:42,218 --> 01:08:43,185
Oh, my God.
1156
01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:45,918
I'm sorry, I have to go.
1157
01:08:46,755 --> 01:08:48,052
I'm sorry.
1158
01:08:56,432 --> 01:08:58,866
-Awkward.
-Yeah.
1159
01:09:05,641 --> 01:09:08,838
Give me that crowbar.
I got some killing to do.
1160
01:09:21,690 --> 01:09:22,918
Damn it!
1161
01:09:23,659 --> 01:09:27,322
I'm a Christian. You got me
up in this church cursing, Norbit.
1162
01:09:29,131 --> 01:09:31,827
Death do us part, huh? Okay, Norbit.
1163
01:09:31,934 --> 01:09:34,061
Look like you done moved up
the goddamn schedule.
1164
01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:35,728
I'm cursing again.
1165
01:09:35,971 --> 01:09:36,995
Pray, bitch, pray.
1166
01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:38,733
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
1167
01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:42,333
Thy kingdom come, thy wilI be done
on Earth as it is in heaven.
1168
01:09:43,445 --> 01:09:45,970
Kate, please. Kate, please, I'm sorry.
1169
01:09:46,081 --> 01:09:47,275
Kate, please, stop and talk to me.
1170
01:09:47,383 --> 01:09:49,248
Please, please, Kate.
Talk to me, please.
1171
01:09:49,351 --> 01:09:51,114
I can't, Norbit.
1172
01:09:51,554 --> 01:09:53,283
I'm just too confused right now.
1173
01:09:53,389 --> 01:09:56,847
I'm sorry. It was all my fauIt.
I never should have kissed you.
1174
01:09:57,493 --> 01:09:58,960
No.
1175
01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:03,424
I wanted you to.
1176
01:10:05,634 --> 01:10:08,228
That's why I'm so confused.
1177
01:10:10,739 --> 01:10:12,297
Good night.
1178
01:10:23,485 --> 01:10:25,180
She wanted me to.
1179
01:10:33,729 --> 01:10:37,460
-Where the papers at, Norbit?
-Got them for you right here.
1180
01:10:43,839 --> 01:10:46,273
I'd hate to be you right now.
1181
01:10:46,809 --> 01:10:47,776
Why?
1182
01:10:48,877 --> 01:10:50,674
Go on in the house.
1183
01:10:51,313 --> 01:10:52,678
Go on in.
1184
01:10:55,851 --> 01:10:58,615
Go ahead, fool. What you waiting for?
1185
01:10:58,721 --> 01:11:00,348
Get on in.
1186
01:11:12,234 --> 01:11:14,259
Hello?
1187
01:11:17,873 --> 01:11:20,103
Chocolate drop, I'm home.
1188
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:23,976
Lollipop?
1189
01:11:25,881 --> 01:11:27,041
Mail.
1190
01:11:33,222 --> 01:11:35,520
Expecting a letter, Norbit?
1191
01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:40,319
You frightened me.
No, I was just looking through.
1192
01:11:40,929 --> 01:11:42,726
How was your date?
1193
01:11:43,332 --> 01:11:44,594
Date?
1194
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:49,135
That was no date. That was just...
1195
01:11:49,238 --> 01:11:53,868
I just was over at
what's-her-name's wedding rehearsal.
1196
01:11:55,778 --> 01:11:58,576
That's all. It wasn't a date, though.
1197
01:12:00,983 --> 01:12:02,382
Oh, really?
1198
01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:22,865
Lloyd. Is that you, Lloyd?
1199
01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:26,000
Lloyd, what am I gonna do?
1200
01:12:26,575 --> 01:12:28,202
KilI the bitch.
1201
01:12:28,644 --> 01:12:30,669
Excuse me? What'd you say?
1202
01:12:30,779 --> 01:12:35,443
You heard me. Rub her out.
Take her down. lce the bitch.
1203
01:12:36,285 --> 01:12:39,345
Hey. Lloyd, you're talking.
1204
01:12:39,455 --> 01:12:43,186
She took my legs, Norbit.
She took my legs.
1205
01:12:43,292 --> 01:12:46,261
You know what it's like to be a dog
with no legs?
1206
01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:48,159
I can't raise one up to pee.
1207
01:12:48,263 --> 01:12:53,166
Hell, I can't even hump no more, Norbit.
Humping was my thing.
1208
01:12:53,268 --> 01:12:55,498
What is this, Norbit?
1209
01:12:58,807 --> 01:13:01,776
Some kind of weird, satanic potato art?
1210
01:13:03,512 --> 01:13:04,774
What's this?
1211
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,440
It looks like the acid
that we use down at the quarry.
1212
01:13:07,549 --> 01:13:08,675
Right!
1213
01:13:08,784 --> 01:13:11,480
But this is
Miss Pretty Little Thang's little face.
1214
01:13:11,587 --> 01:13:15,751
And, Norbit, if you ever see her again,
if you ever talk to her again,
1215
01:13:15,858 --> 01:13:18,190
if you ever so much
as think about the bitch again,
1216
01:13:18,293 --> 01:13:20,853
this is what's gonna happen to her.
1217
01:13:26,969 --> 01:13:28,561
How you doing?
1218
01:13:29,505 --> 01:13:31,666
You get the picture, Norbit?
1219
01:13:33,542 --> 01:13:36,409
Deion, I just think that
we need to take a beat.
1220
01:13:36,512 --> 01:13:38,742
It's not you, it's me.
1221
01:13:38,847 --> 01:13:41,577
Just if we slow down, l...
1222
01:13:41,683 --> 01:13:43,514
Oh, good, you're up.
1223
01:13:43,619 --> 01:13:46,417
-Deion, we need to talk.
-Yes, we do.
1224
01:13:46,522 --> 01:13:49,582
I was just at Latimore Construction,
you know, with the renovation plans,
1225
01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:52,125
and I found this on Big Black's desk.
1226
01:13:52,694 --> 01:13:53,786
What is it?
1227
01:13:53,896 --> 01:13:56,228
It's a request to renew
the Golden Wonton's liquor license
1228
01:13:56,331 --> 01:13:58,925
and put it in the Latimores' name.
1229
01:13:59,668 --> 01:14:00,726
What?
1230
01:14:00,836 --> 01:14:03,304
Baby, you signed it yesterday.
Look at the date.
1231
01:14:03,405 --> 01:14:05,805
No. No, I didn't sign anything.
1232
01:14:07,576 --> 01:14:10,409
Just some permits
that Norbit gave me, but...
1233
01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:12,776
Well, did you read them?
1234
01:14:13,649 --> 01:14:15,708
-No.
-No. Great.
1235
01:14:15,818 --> 01:14:17,285
I don't get it, though, Deion.
1236
01:14:17,386 --> 01:14:19,411
Why would the Latimores
want me to renew the liquor license
1237
01:14:19,521 --> 01:14:20,749
at the orphanage?
1238
01:14:20,856 --> 01:14:22,585
Baby, people say
they've been trying to get their hands on
1239
01:14:22,691 --> 01:14:24,921
that orphanage for years.
1240
01:14:25,027 --> 01:14:27,928
Apparently they want to turn it
into a strip joint.
1241
01:14:28,263 --> 01:14:29,491
Disgusting.
1242
01:14:29,865 --> 01:14:32,698
First you gonna clean the basement,
then you gonna clean the garage,
1243
01:14:32,801 --> 01:14:34,769
then you gonna go upstairs
and clean the attic.
1244
01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:36,997
We don't even have an attic.
1245
01:14:37,105 --> 01:14:40,632
Well, then you build a damn attic, then,
Norbit! And then clean it!
1246
01:14:40,742 --> 01:14:43,609
I'm going upstairs to take a bubble bath.
1247
01:14:47,850 --> 01:14:51,684
Bitch! You bitch!
1248
01:14:53,917 --> 01:14:55,544
Finally.
1249
01:14:55,652 --> 01:14:59,952
I needed this.
Let me submerge this ass.
1250
01:15:00,057 --> 01:15:01,922
How you doing?
1251
01:15:05,262 --> 01:15:06,889
Good and hot.
1252
01:15:07,431 --> 01:15:09,899
Sounds like it's raining outside.
1253
01:15:20,544 --> 01:15:21,670
Oh, no.
1254
01:15:22,479 --> 01:15:23,673
Kate!
1255
01:15:23,780 --> 01:15:24,747
Norbit.
1256
01:15:24,848 --> 01:15:27,043
Over here. Over here.
1257
01:15:28,218 --> 01:15:29,776
I need to talk to you.
1258
01:15:29,886 --> 01:15:33,049
Do you know what was in those papers
you had me sign last night?
1259
01:15:33,156 --> 01:15:35,021
Yeah, the construction permits.
1260
01:15:35,125 --> 01:15:37,252
No, that's not all.
1261
01:15:40,897 --> 01:15:42,125
Norbit.
1262
01:15:42,432 --> 01:15:46,095
Hey, just... Just go away, Kate!
Get out of here!
1263
01:15:46,203 --> 01:15:47,363
What?
1264
01:15:49,573 --> 01:15:52,167
You heard what I said!
Just get out of here! Scram!
1265
01:15:52,275 --> 01:15:55,972
The Latimores are trying to
take controI of the orphanage, Norbit.
1266
01:15:56,079 --> 01:16:00,140
Well, why don't you go and find
somebody who gives a rat's ass,
1267
01:16:00,250 --> 01:16:02,810
because I sure as hell don't!
1268
01:16:03,386 --> 01:16:06,480
-You don't care?
-No, I don't care.
1269
01:16:08,058 --> 01:16:10,925
-And I don't care about you, either!
-Norbit.
1270
01:16:11,027 --> 01:16:14,758
The only woman I have ever,
ever loved and ever cared about
1271
01:16:14,865 --> 01:16:18,392
was my darling wife, Rasputia!
1272
01:16:20,604 --> 01:16:21,628
But last night...
1273
01:16:21,738 --> 01:16:26,266
Last night I was just trying to naiI you,
you know, score?
1274
01:16:26,743 --> 01:16:28,904
But now I reallze I don't have to do that!
1275
01:16:29,012 --> 01:16:34,575
all I need is my beautiful,
precious wife Rasputia!
1276
01:16:35,519 --> 01:16:39,956
She's all the woman I need, so
you can just go on and get out of here,
1277
01:16:40,056 --> 01:16:42,547
you screwy dame! Who needs you?
1278
01:16:43,593 --> 01:16:45,493
Damn, Norbit.
1279
01:16:45,595 --> 01:16:48,792
Did that skinny little thing
figure out your plan?
1280
01:16:48,899 --> 01:16:52,460
Girl, you just don't get it, do you?
Norbit played you.
1281
01:16:52,569 --> 01:16:54,867
You got her to sign those papers,
didn't you?
1282
01:16:54,971 --> 01:16:56,666
Yes, darling.
1283
01:16:57,574 --> 01:16:59,235
He been setting you up
from that moment
1284
01:16:59,342 --> 01:17:01,435
from the very first day you got here.
1285
01:17:01,545 --> 01:17:02,910
How you doing?
1286
01:17:03,847 --> 01:17:06,714
Don't you ever talk to me again!
1287
01:17:08,151 --> 01:17:09,209
Kate.
1288
01:17:09,319 --> 01:17:12,015
Damn, Norbit,
you pissing off everybody today.
1289
01:17:12,122 --> 01:17:17,355
Don't you ever talk to me again!
Don't you ever talk to me again!
1290
01:17:19,830 --> 01:17:21,058
Never again!
1291
01:17:53,430 --> 01:17:54,761
Hey, Norbit.
1292
01:17:56,299 --> 01:17:58,563
Mr. Wong,
what are you doing around here?
1293
01:17:58,668 --> 01:18:02,399
I just going for a walk, Norbit.
Just going for a walk.
1294
01:18:02,505 --> 01:18:06,134
I live in this neighborhood long time.
Long time.
1295
01:18:07,010 --> 01:18:09,103
Soon I be moving on.
1296
01:18:09,212 --> 01:18:11,737
Yes, as I look around this neighborhood,
1297
01:18:11,848 --> 01:18:15,375
I reallze there
no good dry cleaners here.
1298
01:18:15,485 --> 01:18:17,180
I could make killing.
1299
01:18:17,287 --> 01:18:18,652
Why you got suitcase?
1300
01:18:18,755 --> 01:18:21,815
I'm getting the H out of here.
I'm leaving town for good.
1301
01:18:21,925 --> 01:18:23,051
What? Leaving town?
1302
01:18:23,159 --> 01:18:26,424
I thought you stick around,
help Kate run orphanage.
1303
01:18:26,963 --> 01:18:28,555
She's getting married
to Deion tomorrow,
1304
01:18:28,665 --> 01:18:31,156
so there's no reason
for me to stay around here.
1305
01:18:31,268 --> 01:18:32,758
No reason?
1306
01:18:32,936 --> 01:18:34,597
No, she won't even see me.
1307
01:18:34,704 --> 01:18:37,002
And besides,
I'll just wind up getting hurt again.
1308
01:18:37,107 --> 01:18:40,440
Norbit, you listen to me.
You very speciaI to me.
1309
01:18:41,244 --> 01:18:45,408
I love you like my own child,
like boy child, not girI child.
1310
01:18:45,515 --> 01:18:47,881
Wong once have girI child
back in Shanghai.
1311
01:18:47,984 --> 01:18:50,509
When she two years old,
I trade her for yak.
1312
01:18:50,620 --> 01:18:53,180
That sort of thing happen in China
from time to time.
1313
01:18:53,290 --> 01:18:54,951
Yak very hard to come by.
1314
01:18:55,058 --> 01:18:57,788
Oh, yeah, sure. I appreciate that.
1315
01:18:57,894 --> 01:19:00,761
You can't run
from your problems, Norbit.
1316
01:19:00,864 --> 01:19:04,800
Black people run fast,
but problem even faster.
1317
01:19:05,435 --> 01:19:07,027
That's kind of racist.
1318
01:19:07,137 --> 01:19:11,267
Yes. Wong very racist. I no like black.
I no like Jew either.
1319
01:19:11,374 --> 01:19:14,138
But black and Jew love Chinese food.
Go figure.
1320
01:19:15,045 --> 01:19:17,479
Always remember two things, Norbit.
1321
01:19:17,580 --> 01:19:22,040
One, even though you're very ugly,
1322
01:19:22,152 --> 01:19:24,985
you're very strong inside, like warrior.
1323
01:19:25,088 --> 01:19:29,388
And two, maiI come late on Friday.
1324
01:19:31,227 --> 01:19:33,388
Wong Dry Cleaning.
1325
01:19:34,197 --> 01:19:35,960
It could have been huge.
1326
01:19:36,066 --> 01:19:39,729
You don't even have to clean nothing,
you just spray with starch.
1327
01:20:00,123 --> 01:20:01,283
Mr...
1328
01:20:06,363 --> 01:20:08,228
I gotta warn Kate.
1329
01:20:16,906 --> 01:20:17,930
Hello?
1330
01:20:18,041 --> 01:20:20,134
Hello, Kate. Kate, it's Norbit.
I have to talk to you.
1331
01:20:20,243 --> 01:20:23,644
-Please don't call me anymore.
-No, Kate, it's very important.
1332
01:20:25,248 --> 01:20:26,579
Kate?
1333
01:20:39,696 --> 01:20:40,924
Going somewhere, Norbit?
1334
01:20:41,031 --> 01:20:43,363
No, I was... No.
1335
01:20:43,466 --> 01:20:45,127
What did I tell you
about leaving this house?
1336
01:20:45,235 --> 01:20:47,703
I was just going to get some fresh air.
1337
01:20:47,804 --> 01:20:50,398
Boy, you ain't going nowhere
tilI after that wedding's done.
1338
01:20:50,507 --> 01:20:52,134
We got too much riding on that.
1339
01:20:52,242 --> 01:20:54,210
What do you have
riding on the wedding?
1340
01:20:54,310 --> 01:20:56,505
Soon as your little friend says, "I do,"
1341
01:20:56,613 --> 01:20:59,878
Deion and us is gonna
turn the orphanage into a titty bar.
1342
01:21:00,216 --> 01:21:02,446
But what about the little orphans?
1343
01:21:02,552 --> 01:21:05,612
Hell, they can come too,
if they pay the cover.
1344
01:21:07,857 --> 01:21:10,690
John the Baptist, stop their eviI plan.
1345
01:21:11,494 --> 01:21:13,519
Get your ass down in the basement.
1346
01:21:14,064 --> 01:21:15,588
Get down there!
1347
01:21:20,470 --> 01:21:26,204
It's a madhouse! A madhouse!
1348
01:21:42,392 --> 01:21:45,020
-Come on, Rasputia! We gonna be late.
-Yeah.
1349
01:21:45,128 --> 01:21:47,062
I know y'all better stop rushing me.
1350
01:21:47,163 --> 01:21:49,631
Beauty takes time.
This don't just happen.
1351
01:21:49,732 --> 01:21:50,994
Oh, no.
1352
01:21:51,301 --> 01:21:52,268
You get out the car.
1353
01:21:52,368 --> 01:21:52,735
You gonna stay here
and make sure Norbit don't go no place.
1354
01:21:52,735 --> 01:21:54,168
You gonna stay here
and make sure Norbit don't go no place.
1355
01:21:54,270 --> 01:21:56,795
What? Why I gotta stay?
1356
01:21:56,906 --> 01:21:59,374
Because everybody know
you the smartest.
1357
01:22:16,292 --> 01:22:19,887
Three minutes to show time.
Not too late to chicken out.
1358
01:22:20,563 --> 01:22:22,360
No, I'm ready.
1359
01:22:22,665 --> 01:22:24,929
Okay. You look beautiful.
1360
01:22:43,453 --> 01:22:45,853
P-O-W-E-R.
1361
01:22:45,955 --> 01:22:50,153
T to the A to the mother-stanking P.
Power-tap the fat, move back.
1362
01:22:50,260 --> 01:22:52,057
Power-tap the fat, move back.
1363
01:23:11,514 --> 01:23:13,072
What are the Latimores doing here?
1364
01:23:13,183 --> 01:23:16,482
Don't worry. It's your day.
You look beautiful.
1365
01:23:25,962 --> 01:23:27,224
Nuts.
1366
01:23:27,797 --> 01:23:30,391
-Tap, tap, tap. Tap it off.
-Tap, tap. Tap...
1367
01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:32,328
Norbit!
1368
01:23:34,470 --> 01:23:36,734
Norbit? Norbit?
1369
01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:40,608
Oh, damn. He escaped.
1370
01:23:41,444 --> 01:23:43,275
Norbit! Norbit!
1371
01:23:44,280 --> 01:23:46,339
Your ass is mine, Norbit!
1372
01:23:55,925 --> 01:23:57,222
Yeah.
1373
01:24:01,831 --> 01:24:03,856
-Just now? Shit.
-Is he all right?
1374
01:24:04,267 --> 01:24:06,497
Norbit escaped. He gonna be
headed this way. Come on.
1375
01:24:06,603 --> 01:24:08,070
Hell, no.
1376
01:24:11,808 --> 01:24:14,242
-Norbit is coming.
-For shizzle?
1377
01:24:14,344 --> 01:24:16,505
We have to figure out way
to stall wedding.
1378
01:24:16,613 --> 01:24:17,944
Just calm down, Mr. Wong.
1379
01:24:18,047 --> 01:24:21,278
I've ruined plenty of weddings
back in the day. I got this.
1380
01:24:21,884 --> 01:24:23,715
Dearly beloved,
1381
01:24:23,820 --> 01:24:27,916
we are gathered here today
to join these two in holy matrimony.
1382
01:24:28,024 --> 01:24:30,720
Your Honor, I object!
1383
01:24:31,394 --> 01:24:34,886
Object? Sir, we've not gotten to
that part yet.
1384
01:24:34,998 --> 01:24:38,866
Then I'm objeculating prematurely,
Reverend.
1385
01:24:40,403 --> 01:24:43,770
No offense, my brother, but we're just
trying to keep the train rolling here.
1386
01:24:43,873 --> 01:24:47,206
Oh, well, if you want to
get the train rolling, you know...
1387
01:24:47,310 --> 01:24:49,471
You got to use the big "L".
1388
01:24:50,813 --> 01:24:51,837
Lesbians.
1389
01:24:51,948 --> 01:24:54,109
No, man.
I ain't talking about no lesbians.
1390
01:24:54,217 --> 01:24:55,775
-AIthough, late at night.
-Yes.
1391
01:24:55,885 --> 01:24:57,409
-Right?
-Yes.
1392
01:24:57,620 --> 01:25:00,521
-No, brother, we talking about love.
-Love.
1393
01:25:00,623 --> 01:25:06,255
Love is the engine
that drives the train forward, backwards,
1394
01:25:06,362 --> 01:25:11,129
side to side,
round and round love does go.
1395
01:25:11,234 --> 01:25:13,794
You understand me? I got this, brother.
1396
01:25:13,903 --> 01:25:18,340
I'm not talking about no $20 up in here,
back seat of the car,
1397
01:25:18,441 --> 01:25:20,409
stanky-stanky, hanky-panky.
1398
01:25:20,510 --> 01:25:21,477
-No.
-No.
1399
01:25:21,577 --> 01:25:23,977
I'm talking about good, wholesome,
1400
01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:27,072
fortified with
eight essentiaI vitamins love.
1401
01:25:27,183 --> 01:25:28,616
That cost anywhere...
1402
01:25:28,718 --> 01:25:29,707
How much it cost?
1403
01:25:29,819 --> 01:25:33,880
About $136, Monday through Fridays.
$212 on the weekends.
1404
01:25:33,990 --> 01:25:36,823
Because of inflation.
Can I get an "Amen"?
1405
01:25:36,926 --> 01:25:38,018
Amen!
1406
01:25:48,338 --> 01:25:50,238
Where the hell you going, Norbit?
1407
01:25:50,340 --> 01:25:53,366
None of your GD beeswax, Rasputia!
1408
01:25:53,476 --> 01:25:55,467
Look at you, you old stupid fool.
You can't even ride a bike.
1409
01:25:55,578 --> 01:25:58,570
Oh, yes, I can, because Kate taught me!
1410
01:26:07,990 --> 01:26:12,222
Brothers and sisters.
This particular one's for the brothers.
1411
01:26:12,328 --> 01:26:16,025
When you buy the ones that say,
"Ribbed for her pleasure,"
1412
01:26:16,132 --> 01:26:20,728
turn them inside out
and they ribbed for your pleasure.
1413
01:26:20,837 --> 01:26:23,067
-Can I get an "Amen"?
-Amen!
1414
01:26:23,172 --> 01:26:25,663
Now, speaking of ribs and pleasure.
1415
01:26:26,209 --> 01:26:30,578
Yes. For a limited time only,
we are proud to present to you
1416
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:33,877
our barbeque, baby back, horseradish,
1417
01:26:33,983 --> 01:26:36,918
mustard and
peanut butter-encrusted ribs
1418
01:26:37,019 --> 01:26:41,718
with a slight Jagermeister infusion
sprinkled with chamomile leaves
1419
01:26:41,824 --> 01:26:46,523
with a horseradish
and dandelion salad on a bed of rice.
1420
01:26:46,629 --> 01:26:49,723
Buy one Pimp Platter,
get the whole bones free.
1421
01:26:49,866 --> 01:26:52,858
No, no, no! That's enough talking.
1422
01:26:52,969 --> 01:26:54,903
It's time to get back to the wedding.
1423
01:26:55,004 --> 01:26:59,634
It ain't never enough talking
when you talking about love, brother.
1424
01:26:59,742 --> 01:27:01,937
-Ain't that right?
-Yeah!
1425
01:27:02,044 --> 01:27:03,602
Let me hear you say it, people!
1426
01:27:03,713 --> 01:27:04,737
Love!
1427
01:27:04,847 --> 01:27:06,872
Let me hear you sing it, choir!
1428
01:27:06,983 --> 01:27:09,076
Love!
1429
01:27:21,664 --> 01:27:23,188
-I'm gonna rip your head off.
-Rasputia.
1430
01:27:23,299 --> 01:27:24,698
-What?
-Car!
1431
01:27:24,801 --> 01:27:26,496
I don't give a damn about no car.
I'm ready to die.
1432
01:27:26,602 --> 01:27:27,967
Car!
1433
01:27:29,939 --> 01:27:31,964
I'm ready to die!
1434
01:27:33,443 --> 01:27:34,467
I'm ready to die.
1435
01:27:34,577 --> 01:27:37,375
I ain't gonna let you ruin Nipplopolis
for me, boy! Damn!
1436
01:27:37,480 --> 01:27:39,471
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die up in here.
1437
01:27:39,916 --> 01:27:41,508
Drive the car, God damn it!
1438
01:27:47,690 --> 01:27:51,786
What's up, white man?
Pay for your sins. Pay for your sins.
1439
01:27:52,061 --> 01:27:54,359
We gonna change your name to Leroy.
1440
01:28:50,887 --> 01:28:52,752
Amen!
1441
01:28:57,126 --> 01:28:58,252
That's enough!
1442
01:28:58,361 --> 01:29:01,660
That's enough! Enough! Enough!
Enough! Enough!
1443
01:29:01,931 --> 01:29:03,694
-Stop the music!
-Hold on.
1444
01:29:03,833 --> 01:29:06,165
Shut up! You two, shut up!
1445
01:29:06,269 --> 01:29:08,100
That's it. This is husband-and-wife time.
1446
01:29:08,204 --> 01:29:11,833
Now, let's go. Let's go.
Husband-and-wife stuff.
1447
01:29:13,943 --> 01:29:14,910
Dearly beloved,
1448
01:29:15,912 --> 01:29:17,140
we are gathered here today...
1449
01:29:17,246 --> 01:29:18,543
I object!
1450
01:29:18,648 --> 01:29:20,013
Oh, for Christ's sake!
1451
01:29:20,449 --> 01:29:21,939
-Norbit.
-Norbit.
1452
01:29:22,051 --> 01:29:23,040
Norbit.
1453
01:29:23,152 --> 01:29:25,950
Norbit
1454
01:29:26,722 --> 01:29:29,418
This wedding is a sham
and I'm here to stop it.
1455
01:29:29,525 --> 01:29:31,493
Norbit, what are you doing?
1456
01:29:31,594 --> 01:29:35,257
I'm being a man
for the first time in my life. Kate...
1457
01:29:36,098 --> 01:29:38,032
Kate, I love you.
1458
01:29:39,602 --> 01:29:41,934
What the hell did you just say?
1459
01:29:43,339 --> 01:29:46,069
You heard what I said, strumpet.
I love Kate!
1460
01:29:46,175 --> 01:29:48,473
That's right. I love you, Kate.
1461
01:29:48,578 --> 01:29:51,911
And the last two weeks I spent with you
have meant more to me
1462
01:29:52,014 --> 01:29:54,847
than my whole entire miserable life
with you, Rasputia!
1463
01:29:54,951 --> 01:30:00,082
It's over! Norbit Albert Rice
is no longer your bitch!
1464
01:30:05,161 --> 01:30:06,526
You're dead! Get off me!
1465
01:30:06,629 --> 01:30:08,221
Get your hands off me, Black.
Don't go hitting me.
1466
01:30:08,331 --> 01:30:10,561
What's wrong with you, girl?
What's wrong with you? Get off of me.
1467
01:30:10,666 --> 01:30:11,826
You don't talk like that with me.
1468
01:30:11,934 --> 01:30:12,901
No, wait!
1469
01:30:13,002 --> 01:30:14,264
No, no, wait, baby girl,
he's ruining our wedding.
1470
01:30:14,370 --> 01:30:15,667
Let's just get back to the nuptiaIs.
1471
01:30:15,771 --> 01:30:18,467
We just heard condom advice
from an ex-pimp.
1472
01:30:18,574 --> 01:30:21,168
I think we can survive
a few words from Norbit.
1473
01:30:21,277 --> 01:30:24,269
Deion is a fake. He's marrying you
just to get your money.
1474
01:30:24,380 --> 01:30:25,369
What?
1475
01:30:25,481 --> 01:30:28,575
Him and the Latimores.
They thought this whole scheme up.
1476
01:30:28,684 --> 01:30:31,847
He's been married four times in the
last six years to four different women,
1477
01:30:31,954 --> 01:30:34,980
and he cheated the women
out of $300,000 in divorce settlements.
1478
01:30:35,091 --> 01:30:36,854
Yeah, I heard all about it!
And something eIse.
1479
01:30:36,959 --> 01:30:39,154
They were gonna try to steal
the orphanage from you.
1480
01:30:39,261 --> 01:30:40,489
That's what this whole thing is about!
1481
01:30:40,596 --> 01:30:43,759
You crazy! He's got a big crush on you.
He's making this stuff up.
1482
01:30:43,866 --> 01:30:45,663
Oh, yeah? I'm crazy?
I'm making it all up?
1483
01:30:45,768 --> 01:30:47,998
-Yes, you making it up.
-Then what about this, then?
1484
01:30:48,104 --> 01:30:50,800
This evidence that I have.
Look at this!
1485
01:30:52,208 --> 01:30:54,142
This, well...
1486
01:30:54,343 --> 01:30:57,938
This used to, before it felI in the pond,
it had numbers
1487
01:30:58,047 --> 01:30:59,514
and there was information.
1488
01:30:59,615 --> 01:31:02,709
There was people's names
and dates and addresses
1489
01:31:02,818 --> 01:31:05,412
and all kinds of incriminating things.
1490
01:31:05,521 --> 01:31:09,821
I felI in the pond, but you can't read it.
But, boy, did I have your ass!
1491
01:31:10,059 --> 01:31:13,426
That's nice, Norbit. Really nice.
Did you write that yourself? Pathetic.
1492
01:31:13,529 --> 01:31:15,087
Kate, you have to believe me.
1493
01:31:15,197 --> 01:31:16,425
Yeah, yeah, believe him, Kate.
1494
01:31:16,532 --> 01:31:18,966
Remember the one that got you to sign
the papers to steaI the orphanage?
1495
01:31:19,068 --> 01:31:21,298
Remember that?
Believe him. Go ahead.
1496
01:31:21,804 --> 01:31:26,241
I'm so sorry, Norbit.
I just don't trust you anymore.
1497
01:31:31,313 --> 01:31:34,339
Well, well, well, Norbit. You lose again.
1498
01:31:34,450 --> 01:31:38,318
Once a loser, always a loser, huh?
Now, come on! Let's go!
1499
01:31:39,822 --> 01:31:43,519
Yeah, I thought you'd feel
that way about it, Kate.
1500
01:31:45,027 --> 01:31:47,018
And that's why I took the liberty
1501
01:31:47,129 --> 01:31:50,724
of inviting some of
Deion's ex-wives down
1502
01:31:50,833 --> 01:31:53,199
so maybe they could tell you
for themselves.
1503
01:31:53,302 --> 01:31:54,929
Ladies!
1504
01:31:55,037 --> 01:31:56,561
Hello, Antoine.
1505
01:31:56,706 --> 01:31:59,641
-I've been looking for you.
-Daddy!
1506
01:31:59,742 --> 01:32:02,233
Antoine? He told me
his name was Luther!
1507
01:32:02,344 --> 01:32:03,311
Who is that ho?
1508
01:32:03,412 --> 01:32:05,039
He told me he was gay.
1509
01:32:05,147 --> 01:32:09,140
No, no, no. Y'all got me confused with
my gay twin brother, Antoine Luther.
1510
01:32:09,251 --> 01:32:11,742
-You dead, gold digger!
-Get your butt back here!
1511
01:32:11,854 --> 01:32:12,912
I'm out!
1512
01:32:13,022 --> 01:32:15,081
Looks like the wedding's off, bro.
1513
01:32:15,191 --> 01:32:16,556
Church!
1514
01:32:18,227 --> 01:32:19,922
-God damn it, Norbit!
-Oh, snap!
1515
01:32:20,029 --> 01:32:20,996
Get him!
1516
01:32:21,097 --> 01:32:22,291
Norbit!
1517
01:32:24,300 --> 01:32:27,167
Mother Mary! Jesus! Noah! Christ!
1518
01:32:28,304 --> 01:32:29,328
Good.
1519
01:32:44,553 --> 01:32:46,350
You going somewhere, Norbit?
1520
01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:00,093
-You messed up, boy.
-That's right.
1521
01:33:01,070 --> 01:33:03,561
Now you gonna pay. Big time!
1522
01:33:03,672 --> 01:33:07,039
Latimore! Keep your fakakta hands
off him!
1523
01:33:07,143 --> 01:33:09,634
Go back to your shop, Abe,
before I kilI you, too!
1524
01:33:09,745 --> 01:33:12,942
Hey! You gonna have to kilI me, as well!
1525
01:33:13,048 --> 01:33:14,845
Yeah, and me, too!
1526
01:33:21,824 --> 01:33:23,291
Rasputia!
1527
01:33:25,227 --> 01:33:26,888
How you doing?
1528
01:33:28,230 --> 01:33:30,721
I kick the shit out of you.
1529
01:33:35,204 --> 01:33:36,330
Mind your goddamn business.
1530
01:33:36,438 --> 01:33:38,929
Mind your business. Get out of here.
Move it.
1531
01:33:39,942 --> 01:33:41,705
No, you didn't!
1532
01:33:41,811 --> 01:33:43,779
Bye-bye.
1533
01:33:48,450 --> 01:33:50,577
Bring it, bitches!
1534
01:33:54,190 --> 01:33:55,589
Oh, hell to the no.
1535
01:33:55,691 --> 01:33:58,182
Mrs. Henderson is tripping, huh?
Get your...
1536
01:33:59,628 --> 01:34:02,529
You crazy little old bitch.
How you doing?
1537
01:34:12,041 --> 01:34:13,474
Get out of the way.
1538
01:34:14,343 --> 01:34:15,674
His ass is mine.
1539
01:34:16,545 --> 01:34:19,275
'Sputia? Rasputia?
1540
01:34:20,282 --> 01:34:22,409
You remember "tilI death do us part,"
don't you, Norbit?
1541
01:34:22,518 --> 01:34:23,644
No!
1542
01:34:25,354 --> 01:34:27,379
Whale, ho!
1543
01:34:28,724 --> 01:34:30,589
Did somebody just call me a whale?
1544
01:34:30,693 --> 01:34:32,820
Yeah, and a ho!
1545
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:40,662
Bingo! Right in the blow hole!
1546
01:34:44,240 --> 01:34:46,367
-Let's get some.
-We dead.
1547
01:34:47,042 --> 01:34:49,374
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
1548
01:34:58,120 --> 01:34:59,382
Norbit!
1549
01:35:03,692 --> 01:35:04,818
Are you all right?
1550
01:35:04,927 --> 01:35:08,920
all right? This is the best I've ever feIt
in my whole life.
1551
01:35:10,666 --> 01:35:11,997
Come here.
1552
01:35:18,507 --> 01:35:19,599
Proud of that boy.
1553
01:35:19,708 --> 01:35:24,338
Yes. Yes, very proud of Norbit.
He like my son.
1554
01:35:24,647 --> 01:35:26,911
I'm sorry I doubted you.
1555
01:35:33,822 --> 01:35:37,383
ln the end, I guess you could say
everything worked out just fine.
1556
01:35:39,929 --> 01:35:43,888
Kate and I took over the orphanage
and it was a dream come true.
1557
01:35:44,800 --> 01:35:48,531
Oh, and we aIso got married. Again.
1558
01:35:48,637 --> 01:35:50,229
I love you, Kate.
1559
01:35:50,606 --> 01:35:51,834
Ditto.
1560
01:35:53,008 --> 01:35:56,409
And I now pronounce you my wife.
1561
01:35:57,680 --> 01:36:01,446
And I pronounce you my husband.
1562
01:36:02,284 --> 01:36:04,377
You may kiss the bride.
1563
01:36:09,658 --> 01:36:13,219
What you mean, "Ew"? No, "Ew."
Man kiss a woman, beautifuI thing.
1564
01:36:13,329 --> 01:36:16,025
Ling Ling.
Come here with your fine self.
1565
01:36:20,803 --> 01:36:23,897
I now pronounce you man and wife.
1566
01:36:37,786 --> 01:36:40,084
As for Rasputia
and the rest of the Latimores,
1567
01:36:40,189 --> 01:36:42,384
we never heard from them again.
1568
01:36:42,491 --> 01:36:46,484
Rumor has it they settled somewhere
in Mexico and opened the club.
1569
01:36:50,632 --> 01:36:53,100
I guess they're living their dream, too.
1570
01:36:53,302 --> 01:36:56,100
Say, man, don't you have
any better-looking girIs than that?
1571
01:36:56,205 --> 01:36:58,435
Our best girI's coming out right now.
1572
01:37:00,576 --> 01:37:02,168
Rasputia!
1573
01:37:13,222 --> 01:37:14,348
Hold on, now, Pepe.
1574
01:37:14,456 --> 01:37:17,482
Ain't nothing going down there unless
it got the word "peso" written on it.