1
00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:50,976
Yo.

2
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,202
Hey, I Was doing some research
for next year...

3
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:56,314
...and I think I figured out
Which Website I Wanna subscribe to.

4
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:59,542
- The Vag-tastic Voyage.
- Which one is the Vag-tastic Voyage?

5
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,515
<i>The Vag-tastic Voyage
is the one where...</i>

6
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:05,020
<i>... they find random girls on the street,
and they invite them into a van...</i>

7
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,988
...and then they bang them
in the van.

8
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,455
It's like 13 bucks a month...

9
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:10,322
...and you get access
to other sites.

10
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:14,830
Like one's Latina, one's Asian,
you knoW, there's one for fetishes...

11
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:17,525
...like feet and pee-pee and shit
and stuff like that.

12
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,500
That's disgusting.
You're like an animal.

13
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:22,174
I'm-- What? I'm disgusting?
You're the Weird one, man.

14
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,343
Don't make me feel Weird
because I like porn.

15
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,842
You're Weird for not liking porn.
I'm normal as shit.

16
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,809
Peeing on people. That's normal?

17
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,347
Evan, I'm not saying
I'm gonna look at it.

18
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,917
I'm just saying that
it comes With the site, okay?

19
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,486
I don't knoW What I'm gonna be into
10 years from noW.

20
00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,384
I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff.

21
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:41,754
I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar,
I Want a little production value.

22
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,691
Like some editing, transition,
something. Some music.

23
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,732
Yeah, Well, I'm sorry the Coen brothers
don't direct the porn that I Watch.

24
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,493
They're hard to get ahold of, okay?

25
00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:53,536
Plus your parents are gonna be
looking at the bill, dipshit.

26
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:58,143
Yeah, you're right. I probably should
pick the one With the least dirty name.

27
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,439
What about, like, Perfect Ten?

28
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,446
Something like that, you knoW?

29
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,209
Like Perfect Ten?

30
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,250
Because that could be
any number of things.

31
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:11,821
They can't really get you for that.
That could be, like, a boWling Website.

32
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:16,051
Yeah, but they don't really shoW dick
going in, Which is a huge concern.

33
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:17,229
I didn't realize that.

34
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,990
Plus, have you ever seen
a vagina by itself?

35
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:22,596
Not for me.

36
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,235
Hi.

37
00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:28,232
- Thanks for taking him, Seth.
- No-- No problem, Jane.

38
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:30,671
- HoW are you?
- Good.

39
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,469
Beautiful.

40
00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:35,073
- Don't touch that.
- What are you--?

41
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,374
- I'm not a piece of meat.
- You tWo are funny.

42
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:41,347
I can't imagine What you're gonna do
Without each other next year.

43
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,579
Evan told me
you didn't get into Dartmouth.

44
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:48,451
I got into some schools, some
pretty good ones. So I'll be fine.

45
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:51,653
- You gonna miss each other?
- No. Miss each other? No, thank you.

46
00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,422
I don't-- I don't miss each other.

47
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,430
I'm gonna cry myself
to sleep every night.

48
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,193
- Me too.
- When I'm out partying.

49
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,995
Go to school, boys.

50
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,166
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Jane.

51
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:08,208
I am truly jealous you got to suck
on those tits When you Were a baby.

52
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,315
Yeah, Well, at least you got to
suck on your dad's dick.

53
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,655
Hey, Seth,
you can't park in the faculty lot.

54
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,766
Don't be such a vagine, man.
I gotta get a Red Bull before class.

55
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,927
You're being an idiot.
You shouldn't have parked there.

56
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,663
Fuck it. I'm about to graduate.

57
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,638
They should be sucking
on my ball sac.

58
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:41,572
It's the least they could do
for stealing three years of my life.

59
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:48,245
- Oh, fuck me.
- Look at those nipples.

60
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,388
They're like little baby toes.

61
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,649
It's not fair
they get to flaunt that stuff...

62
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,952
...and I have to hide
every erection I get.

63
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:57,789
You knoW What I do?
I flip my boner up into my Waistband.

64
00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,988
It hides it and it feels aWesome.

65
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:02,633
I almost bleW a load
into my bellybutton.

66
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,804
I mean, just imagine if girls Weren't
Weirded out by our boners...

67
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,666
...and just, like,
Wanted to see them.

68
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,968
I mean, that's the World
I one day Wanna live in.

69
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:14,305
It's been tWo years since I've seen
an actual human female nipple.

70
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,482
Shauna?
Shauna Was tWo years ago noW?

71
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,650
Yeah.

72
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,284
Yeah, I guess so.
But she Was insanely hot.

73
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,683
Exactly. She Was too hot, okay?
That's What sucks.

74
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,154
HoW can that suck?
I'd be psyched if I got With her.

75
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,849
You got, like, tWo dozen handjobs.

76
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,757
Yes, and three-quarters of a bloWjob,
but Who's counting?

77
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,056
Look, it Was the peak
of my ass-getting career...

78
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,824
...and it happened Way too early.

79
00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:36,968
- You're like Orson Welles.
- Exactly!

80
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,661
If I'd paced myself,
I'd be having at least steady sex...

81
00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,169
...With a decent-looking girl.

82
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,343
I honestly see noW Why Orson Welles
ate his fat ass to death.

83
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,341
You'll have sex in college,
everyone does.

84
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,640
But the point is to be good at sex
by the time you get to college.

85
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,682
You don't Want girls thinking
you suck dick at fucking pussy.

86
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,853
I still think you have
a chance With Jules.

87
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,851
She got incredibly hot over
last summer...

88
00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:59,024
...and she obviously
hasn't realized it yet...

89
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,887
...because she's still talking to you
and flirting With you.

90
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,121
Are you out of your mind?
Look at Jules' dating record, okay?

91
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:08,664
She dated Dan Remick, Who's had
a six-pack since, like, kindergarten.

92
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:12,429
Jason Stone, Who looks like
fucking Zack Morris. And Matt Muir.

93
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:14,902
Matt Muir.
He's the sWeetest guy ever.

94
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,939
Have you ever stared into his eyes?

95
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,703
It Was like the first time
I heard the Beatles.

96
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,973
Why Would she end
her high school career With me?

97
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,207
Becca dated Eric Rosecrantz
for like tWo years.

98
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:28,717
Yeah, but he's a fucking idiot.
You're a step up from that dick-load.

99
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:31,014
That's Why you need to stop--
Will you get this?

100
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,624
That's Why you need to stop
being a pussy and nail her.

101
00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,589
You could bang her
before you leave.

102
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,730
And I'm not gonna dance around it,
she looks like a good fucker.

103
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,331
I'm tired of you talking
about her like that, man.

104
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,992
What, you can talk about her all day
and if I say one thing, it's blasphemy?

105
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,762
Well, I don't constantly insult her.

106
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,372
I'm not trying to insult her.

107
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,099
I'm just saying that
she looks like a good fucker, okay?

108
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:52,834
She looks like she can take a dick.

109
00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:55,605
Some Women pride themselves
on their dick-taking abilities.

110
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,716
Dick-taking abilities? You think
that's good to say about someone?

111
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,113
The fucked-up thing is,
I actually do, okay?

112
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,915
If a Woman tried to compliment me on
my dick-giving abilities, I'd be psyched.

113
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,489
Hey, yo, Seth.

114
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,728
What?

115
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,955
Did you hear I'm having
a big grad party next Saturday?

116
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,334
- No.
- Yeah.

117
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,903
- Oh, shit!
- You're not coming.

118
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:23,804
Tell your fucking faggot friend
he can't come either.

119
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,143
So Jesse Wanted me to tell you...

120
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:32,715
...you're a fucking faggot
and can't come to his party.

121
00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,784
You really bitched out
back there, man.

122
00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,318
I bitched out?

123
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:39,286
You bitched out, man,
you fucking Judas.

124
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:40,686
You fucking left me hanging.

125
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,884
Did you Want me to dive
in front of his spit?

126
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,025
Come on, guys, let's go!

127
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,539
This is bullshit.

128
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,877
Pussy.

129
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:11,049
If I equals the square root
of negative one...

130
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:16,820
...then I squared equals
negative one. Okay?

131
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,259
In other Words,
if you consider I as a constant...

132
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:23,231
...you can then define the square roots
of all the negative numbers.

133
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:28,106
So I is an imaginary number.
It doesn't really exist.

134
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:31,367
If I equals the square root
of negative one...

135
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,568
...then I squared equals
negative one.

136
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:36,441
Is this making s--? Okay.

137
00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:44,352
- Okay, bye.
- Evan!

138
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,358
- Evan, hey.
- Hey, Becca.

139
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,151
- Hey, thank you for your pen.
- Hey.

140
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,989
No problem. No, no, don't Worry.
No Worries. You keep it.

141
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,758
You Won't have to borroW one again
because you'll have that one.

142
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:58,835
- Thank you so much, that's... .
- You're Welcome. Don't Worry about it.

143
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,665
So I Was gonna ask you...

144
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,364
...did you hear about
Jesse's grad party next Weekend?

145
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:07,137
- It should be fun.
- I heard. L-- It's a maybe.

146
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:08,836
- Really?
- For me at the moment.

147
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,576
- My R.S.V.P.
- Just a maybe?

148
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:11,750
So far.

149
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,613
There's so much other fun shit
that's gonna be happening...

150
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,846
...that I can't really commit and,
you knoW, hurt someone's feelings.

151
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:21,117
Fun shit? But I never see you
at parties or anything.

152
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:24,792
That's because of
all the other fun shit I'm off doing.

153
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,726
I'd love to be at all of them, but... .

154
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,764
Why Weren't you
at Dimitri's on Saturday?

155
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,458
There Was so many things
going on.

156
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,763
I couldn't find a minute
to make an appearance.

157
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,408
- What did you do?
- Saturday Was a crazy night for me.

158
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,412
<i>I had some friends over,
we had a few drinks.</i>

159
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,445
<i>That's Vag-tastic!</i>

160
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,379
<i>I hung out in my basement,
the chill zone, where we chill-lax.</i>

161
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,214
<i>Like "relax" and "chill"
all at once.</i>

162
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,813
Seth's parents
Were throWing a party.

163
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,959
<i>We got to hang around adults,
which was a nice change of pace.</i>

164
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,597
<i>You converse, you talk to people
and they have interesting stories.</i>

165
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:02,461
<i>I talked to a man who claimed he had
climbed five mountains in his life.</i>

166
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:06,100
Then We Went to a nightclub, Which
Was incredible. This big, fancy one.

167
00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:09,069
<i>- Gonna look at tits right noW!
- I'm feeling crazy. I said that.</i>

168
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,740
<i>- You got in?
- We got right in.</i>

169
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,741
- Wanna do this, 'roid monkey?
- Fuck you!

170
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,313
<i>Then we called it a night.
We were all just really exhausted.</i>

171
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,279
What the fuck?!

172
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:22,716
You Would've loved it. It Was
an incredible, unbelievable night.

173
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,219
That sounds like a lot of fun.

174
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:27,324
You knoW, I'd love to go
do something like that sometime.

175
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:29,153
Who Wouldn't? I mean, it Was like...

176
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,559
...me and Seth are
alWays kind of cooking up these...

177
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,393
...fun, sort of,
little, you knoW, events.

178
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:38,331
I guess you guys are really
gonna go crazy next year together.

179
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:41,267
We Were going to,
but We got into different schools.

180
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,499
Really? That sucks.

181
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,935
Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad.
I mean, it should be okay.

182
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,704
Not too Worried about it, really.

183
00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:51,508
Don't Worry about it.
I'm not Worried at all.

184
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:56,621
- All right, Well, thank you for the pen.
- Yeah. No problem.

185
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,689
- Bye.
- Bye.

186
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:02,156
Bye, Evan.

187
00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:14,536
Mrs. HayWorth, I joined this class
because I'd be cooking With a partner.

188
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:18,301
But she's never here, and I don't get
tWice the grades for doing all the Work.

189
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,570
I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth.

190
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:23,806
I knoW, but look at Evan, okay?
Just look at him.

191
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,474
Don't keep me Waiting much longer.
I'm getting impatient up here.

192
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,485
You knoW What I'm talking about.
Miroki, you're embarrassing me.

193
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:34,091
I'm here in my unit, isolated and alone,
eating my terrible-tasting food...

194
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:35,760
...and I gotta look over at that.

195
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:38,156
Looks like the most fun
I've ever seen in my life.

196
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,492
And it's B.S. Excuse my language.
I'm just saying that I Wash and dry.

197
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,827
I'm like a single mother.

198
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,003
We all knoW Home Ec is a joke,
no offense.

199
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,605
Everyone takes this class to get an A.
It's bullshit, and I'm sorry.

200
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,743
I'm not putting doWn your profession,
but it's just the Way I feel.

201
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,242
I don't Wanna sit here alone
cooking this shitty food.

202
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:58,406
No offense. And I just think
that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu.

203
00:11:58,617 --> 00:12:00,346
When am I gonna need
to cook tiramisu?

204
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,918
Am I gonna be a chef? No.

205
00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:05,113
There's three Weeks left in school.
Give me a fucking break.

206
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,485
I'm sorry for cursing.

207
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:10,992
All right, Jules' partner isn't here
today either.

208
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:12,630
Pair up With her. Station four.

209
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:14,957
Jules?

210
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,032
All right. I'll give it another shot.

211
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,228
I'll give Home Ec another shot.

212
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,044
Hey, Jules.
Your partner didn't come today?

213
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,783
- That's kind of a personal question.
- What?

214
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,447
Nothing. It's my attempt at humor.
I Was just--

215
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,453
Oh, like coming.

216
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,718
Like "coming" coming.

217
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:47,265
WoW, that Was a little too far
right there. The gesture.

218
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,367
Yeah. It's pretty far.
Shit, I do that--

219
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,935
No, don't Worry.
I'm actually used to it.

220
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,733
My older brother says, like,
the nastiest shit.

221
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,068
Like he called me "hymen"
until I Was 12.

222
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,812
- That's sick. That's not even clever.
- I knoW.

223
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:01,980
I knoW.

224
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,741
I Would've gone With something
at least mildly entertaining.

225
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,350
You knoW, like-- Like--
Like "family Jules."

226
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:11,956
Or like "nuts." Yeah, that's funny.
That's a fucking funny joke.

227
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,359
Fucking funny.

228
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,929
- I can't believe that.
- So, all right. We gotta...

229
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,097
...mix it up.

230
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:59,336
Yeah, HayWorth Will notice this,
if We cover it With chocolate.

231
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,831
- The Whole thing?
- Just dump it on. I'm serious.

232
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:03,065
Okay.

233
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:06,743
- And noW it looks professional.
- That's really impressive.

234
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,380
- It's beautifully done.
- I think We're gonna get an A.

235
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,976
So, What are you doing tonight?

236
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,049
- Probably nothing. Why?
- I don't knoW.

237
00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,246
My parents are gone
so I'm having a party.

238
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,051
I don't really knoW hoW many people
are gonna be there...

239
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,524
...but you could stop by
if you Wanted to.

240
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,223
Yeah, I love parties.

241
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,257
Really?

242
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,966
I just don't really ever
see you at them.

243
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,865
You knoW, it's a love-hate thing.

244
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,405
So, like, you knoW, right noW,
I really love them, though.

245
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,076
- Yeah.
- Good shit, right, Miroki?

246
00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,571
Yeah.

247
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,408
Hey, Miroki, could We have
a minute alone? Just-- Thanks.

248
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,177
Dude, Jules is having
a fucking party.

249
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,751
Hey!

250
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:52,419
- Don't tell Fogell about the party.
- Gangsters. What's up, guys?

251
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,951
I Was just Walking doWn the hall
and Nicola Was right in front of me.

252
00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:59,096
She's Wearing these tight White pants
With this black G-string...

253
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:02,324
...and you could see right
through the pants. It Was so sWeet.

254
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,844
It's 10:33.

255
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,716
What?

256
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,048
I told her What time it Was.

257
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:25,189
That's the coolest fucking story
I've ever heard in my entire life.

258
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,951
- Can I hear it again? You have time?
- Yeah, yeah, Seth.

259
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,958
I'll miss your knee-slappers
When me and Evan are at Dartmouth.

260
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,256
While you guys are at Dartmouth,
I'll be at State...

261
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:36,559
...Where the girls are half as smart
and tWice as likely to fellash me.

262
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,169
What are you guys doing tonight?
Asshole.

263
00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,566
We got nothing.
Nothing tonight, Fogell.

264
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,641
No? Well, if nothing comes up,
We can get shitfaced again, yeah?

265
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:47,573
You're alWays calling me a pussy,
but today you're Wrong.

266
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,214
At lunch, I'm going to the same place
Mike Snider Went...

267
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,782
...to pick up my brand-neW fake ID.

268
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:57,088
Yeah. Fake ID. Fake ID. I'm tight.

269
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,723
That's insane. Evan Was like,
"I heard about this party.

270
00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:02,860
We shouldn't tell Fogell."
I Was like, "No, We should tell Fogell."

271
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,189
You could buy us booze noW.
It's aWesome.

272
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:08,855
Yeah, I'll-- Sure, I'll buy the booze.
Yeah, We're gonna get our drinks on.

273
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,559
We're gonna party
and get crunk and rock out, dude.

274
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,829
If you're not in this class,
leave this class.

275
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,200
Fogell! Hi.

276
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:17,466
Okay. Gotta go.

277
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:19,667
Well done. Seriously.
See you after class.

278
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,008
You tell that idiot
you're not rooming With him?

279
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:23,181
Not yet. No.

280
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:26,112
All right, Well, you better.
That guy's the fucking anti-poon.

281
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,252
Seth, it's dishes time.
What's the holdup?

282
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,712
We're getting a fake ID, so... .

283
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,687
- It's not like a big deal.
- WoW, that's cool.

284
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:36,019
But you guys have, like,
four more years to go...

285
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:37,627
...so do you Wanna get to Work?

286
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,196
Well, We got into
different schools, so... .

287
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,492
So you're cutting the cord?
What's gonna happen?

288
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,261
Nothing. Jeez, What does
everybody think is gonna happen?

289
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,304
The World's gonna explode if We
don't spend every second together?

290
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,873
I mean, We're not dependent
on each other, you knoW.

291
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:53,476
We met When We Were 8.
We Were fine before then.

292
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,477
I Was. I mean, it's like,
We don't do everything together.

293
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,377
No. All right, I gotta take a piss.

294
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:01,212
My dick's not gonna shake itself.
Come on, babe.

295
00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:06,185
- He's a crack-up.
- I'm just gonna go.

296
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:11,360
Well, at least
We're getting a graduation party.

297
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:12,689
Thank God, man.

298
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,763
I'm excited.

299
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:18,425
I Would do terrible, disgusting things
to hook up With Jules.

300
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,400
- Unforgivable things.
- I hear you, man.

301
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,733
I'd give my middle nut
to start dating Becca.

302
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,841
Becca's a bitch.

303
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,672
You knoW What? I'm seriously
getting fucking sick of you...

304
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,314
...talking about her like that,
if We can be honest.

305
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,143
- Me too.
- Why do you hate her so much?

306
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,751
You've never given me a reason.
I think you like her.

307
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:38,248
- Fuck no, man! I hate Becca.
- Why, man?

308
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,925
Fine, Evan. Here it comes.

309
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,924
When I Was a little kid,
I kind of had this problem.

310
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,756
And it's not even that big of a deal.

311
00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:48,694
Something like 8 percent of kids
do it, but Whatever. It's... .

312
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:55,329
For some reason, I don't knoW Why,
I Would just kind of sit around all day...

313
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,873
...and draW pictures of dicks.

314
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,004
What?

315
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,641
DraW pictures of dicks.

316
00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:06,382
Dicks?

317
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,382
Like a man dick?

318
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,889
Yeah. Like a man dick.

319
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:16,957
<i>I'd sit there for hours, drawing dicks.
I don't know what it was.</i>

320
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:20,928
<i>I couldn't touch the pen to paper
without drawing the shape of a penis.</i>

321
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,397
<i>- That's fucked.
- No shit, it's really fucked up.</i>

322
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,864
<i>Here I am, this little kid...</i>

323
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,005
<i>... and I can't stop drawing dicks
to save my own life.</i>

324
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,812
All right. I mean, I don't see
What this has to do With Becca.

325
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,384
Just listen. Okay?

326
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:45,751
<i>Your precious little Becca
sat next to me for all of fourth grade.</i>

327
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:50,087
<i>And in the classroom is where
I did the majority of my illustrations.</i>

328
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:54,126
<i>I was very secretive about this
whole dick operation I had going on.</i>

329
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:55,891
<i>Even I thought I was fucking crazy.</i>

330
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:57,762
<i>Imagine what everyone else
would think.</i>

331
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,938
<i>So I would stash
all of my dick drawings...</i>

332
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,006
<i>... in this Ghostbusters lunchbox
that I had.</i>

333
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:07,406
<i>So one day I'm finishing up this
real big, veiny, triumphant bastard.</i>

334
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:08,705
<i>All of a sudden... .</i>

335
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,643
Pussy!

336
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,019
You hit Becca's foot With your dick?

337
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,950
Yeah. I knoW.

338
00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:34,439
Oh, my God!

339
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:38,903
<i>She starts crying. She flips out.
And she rats me out to the principal.</i>

340
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,602
<i>He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox
dick treasure chest...</i>

341
00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:43,212
<i>... and he fucking flips out.</i>

342
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:56,060
<i>He calls in my parents. Turns out this
principal is some religious fanatic...</i>

343
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,422
<i>... and he thinks I'm possessed
by some dick devil.</i>

344
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:02,066
<i>My parents make me see a therapist,
and he's asking me dick questions.</i>

345
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:04,497
<i>They made me stop eating foods
shaped like dicks.</i>

346
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,330
<i>No hot dogs, no Popsicles.</i>

347
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,405
You knoW hoW many foods are
shaped like dicks? The best kinds.

348
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,041
Yeah.

349
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,778
Well, I don't--
That's really messed up.

350
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,808
- Super gay.
- All right, let's stop this madness.

351
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:21,247
- Let's just go get some dessert.
- I can't, I gotta go meet my counselor.

352
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,751
I'm picking out my classes
for next year.

353
00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:28,817
So I gotta sit and eat dessert alone,
like I'm fucking Steven Glanzberg?

354
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,961
I gue-- Yeah, I mean,
What do you Want me to do?

355
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,090
I don't knoW. Nothing. It's fine.

356
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:39,533
- Just relax, man. I'll see you later.
- That's fine. I'll be fine.

357
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,813
Hey, pussy.

358
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,879
Fuck off.

359
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,778
Just the one. Just the one. Not both.

360
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,612
- So I'll call Andy and Greg.
- Okay.

361
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,288
And I'll bring the '80s dance music.

362
00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,081
- Yeah, yeah.
- Right on.

363
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,725
Seth! Hi. There you are.
We Were just talking about you.

364
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,122
- Here I am.
- That's Weird.

365
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:07,059
So you're coming to my party tonight?
Because it's fully on.

366
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,326
Yeah, Why? Should I not come?
Because I could think of other shit... .

367
00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:13,026
Oh, no. No.
I Want you to come, I just--

368
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:16,469
You said something earlier about,
like, a fake ID or something, right?

369
00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,235
Yeah, I'm gonna get one.
For sure, for sure.

370
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,174
I'm getting that for sure.

371
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,913
Can you get us booze?

372
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:29,684
Yeah. I can.
I can get you guys alcohol.

373
00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:31,412
- Really? Seriously?
- Yes, for sure.

374
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,181
That Would be aWesome.
Thank you.

375
00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,860
Because We Were Worried about that.
That Would be great.

376
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,723
Plus, you knoW, you scratch
our backs, We'll scratch yours.

377
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:40,955
Well, Jules, the funny thing
about my back...

378
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,657
...is that it's located on my cock.

379
00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:48,172
So you do Want alcohol?
You Want some or no?

380
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,568
You do or you don't?
You do Want alcohol.

381
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,107
- Yeah.
- Either Way.

382
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,302
- Well--
- Either Way. Either Way's fine.

383
00:21:54,513 --> 00:21:56,242
This is actually kind of a big favor.

384
00:21:56,448 --> 00:22:00,384
Because my parents left me like
100 bucks to feed myself for the Week.

385
00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:03,782
But the house is full of food,
so I just thought I'd spend it all...

386
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,787
...on, you knoW,
extra drinks for the party, so... .

387
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:10,120
That's really nice. I don't think
I've ever done anything that nice.

388
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,853
- It's cool?
- Yeah.

389
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:13,224
- Okay. Thank you.
- AWesome.

390
00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:16,401
I mean, seriously, that's really--
That's nice of you. Thank you.

391
00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:20,230
So should I just get a shitload
of different shit?

392
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,371
Well, you gotta get me
some Kyle's Killer Lemonade.

393
00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:26,806
Kyle's Killer Lemonade. That's kind of
gay, but I can get it for you.

394
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,247
So-- Okay, so then
We Will see you tonight.

395
00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:31,279
Go to the ball, guys.

396
00:22:32,050 --> 00:22:34,211
Evan. Get into the game.

397
00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:36,686
Kick it over to me.

398
00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:38,947
Seth! Get off the field!

399
00:22:39,157 --> 00:22:41,318
Get out of here.
They're gonna make me run laps.

400
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:42,720
Just fucking listen, okay?

401
00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:46,386
Jules and her stupid fucking friend
asked me to buy her alcohol.

402
00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:49,533
But not just her, for her Whole party.
You knoW What that means?

403
00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:52,898
By some miracle, We Were paired up
and she actually thought of me.

404
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,801
Thought of me enough to decide
I Was the guy she Would trust...

405
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:58,805
...With the Whole fun-ness of her party.
She Wants to fuck me.

406
00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:01,843
She Wants my dick
in or around her mouth.

407
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,811
Did you think that maybe
she's using you to get her alcohol?

408
00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:07,541
- She doesn't Want your dick.
- Of course I thought of that.

409
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,744
The first thing that came
to my mind. Listen.

410
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:12,048
My older brother alWays says
the nastiest shit.

411
00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:14,725
Like he called me "hymen"
until I Was 12.

412
00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:16,416
Seth, I Wanna bloW you.

413
00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:18,557
She didn't say that. Come on.

414
00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:20,595
She didn't say the second part,
the first--

415
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:23,199
She's got an older brother.
She could have asked him.

416
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,994
She looked me in the eyes and said:

417
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:28,934
"Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad.
I need some Seth's OWn dressing."

418
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:31,507
She's D.T.F.
She's doWn to fuck, man.

419
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,372
P in vagi.
She Wants to fuck, man.

420
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,241
Tonight is the night
that fucking is an actual possibility.

421
00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:40,077
You sound like an idiot.
You're not gonna sleep With her.

422
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:43,550
No. Dude, I knoW
I talk a lot of shit, okay?

423
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,349
But she's gonna be at the party
and she's gonna be drunk.

424
00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:49,959
She likes me at least a little.
At the very least, I'll make out With her.

425
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:52,153
TWo Weeks, handjob.
Month, bloWjob. Whatever.

426
00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:53,922
And then I make her my girlfriend.

427
00:23:54,132 --> 00:23:56,100
And I've got, like,
tWo solid months of sex.

428
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:57,893
By the time college rolls around...

429
00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,367
...l'll be like the Iron Chef
of pounding vag.

430
00:24:00,572 --> 00:24:01,869
Can We talk about this later?

431
00:24:02,073 --> 00:24:04,007
What the fuck, Evan?
We're doWn tWo points.

432
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:06,040
Fucking calm doWn, Greg.
It's soccer.

433
00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:07,836
- It's soccer.
- Fuck you, man.

434
00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:10,276
Hey, Greg, Why don't you go
piss your pants again?

435
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:13,007
- That Was eight years ago, asshole.
- People don't forget.

436
00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:15,277
Do you Wanna hear the best part?
Becca.

437
00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:17,284
You do the same thing With her.

438
00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:19,582
When you guys are shitfaced,
you get With her.

439
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:22,555
This is our last party
as high school people.

440
00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,628
I've ignored my hatred for Becca
in coming up With this plan.

441
00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:28,595
I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking
come With me on this voyage...

442
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,358
...and stop being a pussy
for once...

443
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:33,595
...and We can fucking
fuck some girls already.

444
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,504
- I should buy Becca alcohol?
- Yeah, it'll be pimp.

445
00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:39,575
That Way you knoW she'll be drunk.
You knoW When girls say:

446
00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:42,941
"I Was so shitfaced last night.
I shouldn't have fucked that guy."

447
00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,513
We could be that mistake!

448
00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:48,080
Have you talked to Fogell?

449
00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:51,187
All right, you talk to Becca.
I'll talk to that retard, Fogell.

450
00:24:51,389 --> 00:24:52,356
Don't Worry.

451
00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:55,492
- Seth, get off the field!
- Goal.

452
00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:57,423
- You're getting that!
- No, I'm not!

453
00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:03,264
Hey, Becca. Hey, hold up.

454
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:04,435
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

455
00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:07,036
Hi. Did you hear
about the party tonight?

456
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,207
Yeah. Yeah, I just heard.
It sounds aWesome.

457
00:25:09,407 --> 00:25:11,375
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going.

458
00:25:11,576 --> 00:25:12,907
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm gonna go.

459
00:25:13,111 --> 00:25:14,669
That's Why I came looking for you.

460
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,041
Me and the guys are gonna
go to a liquor store.

461
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:18,773
And I just thought, you knoW...

462
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,646
...if you needed someone
to get you yours, I could do that.

463
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:23,377
I could be that person.

464
00:25:23,588 --> 00:25:24,816
Yeah.

465
00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:26,513
Yeah, no, that Would be great.

466
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:30,058
That Would save me such a hassle,
because I Was gonna beg my sister.

467
00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:32,628
Could you get me, like,
a bottle of Goldslick Vodka?

468
00:25:32,831 --> 00:25:35,425
Yeah. That's the one
With the little golden flakes in it?

469
00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:38,296
- Yeah. The girly one.
- That's classy.

470
00:25:38,503 --> 00:25:40,232
Well, I'll pay you back at the party.

471
00:25:40,438 --> 00:25:42,167
No, you Won't.
No, it's my treat, miss.

472
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,636
- Really?
- Yep. That's that.

473
00:25:43,842 --> 00:25:46,709
It's the first of many too,
so get used to it, sister.

474
00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:49,107
Well, thank you.

475
00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:51,145
Yeah, no problem.

476
00:25:58,123 --> 00:26:00,353
- I'm sorry. It Was an accident.
- It's okay.

477
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:03,153
I Was gonna give you a nudge--
A punch, the friend thing.

478
00:26:03,361 --> 00:26:04,385
I didn't mean--

479
00:26:04,596 --> 00:26:06,029
- Hey, Becca.
- Hey.

480
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,255
- Hey.
- Gaby.

481
00:26:07,465 --> 00:26:08,659
- What's up, Evan?
- Hey, Gaby.

482
00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:10,698
- We should get to class.
- We're gonna go.

483
00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:12,460
- So I Will see you tonight.
- Okay.

484
00:26:12,671 --> 00:26:14,229
- Really, don't Worry.
- Okay. Sorry.

485
00:26:14,439 --> 00:26:16,498
- Bye.
- Sorry.

486
00:26:16,708 --> 00:26:18,039
Bye.

487
00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:21,171
Sorry.

488
00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,420
Where's that sack of shit, Fogell?
He said he'd be here.

489
00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:33,056
I'm here With my thumb up my ass.

490
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,249
I did it, dude.
I even offered to pay for it.

491
00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:37,325
It Was pimp.
I feel like a pimp right noW.

492
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:40,157
- Like one of those pimps.
- That is fucking pimp.

493
00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:43,528
- That's What I Was afraid of.
- Why didn't I think of that? Shit.

494
00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:47,101
Sh-- We're screWed.

495
00:26:47,305 --> 00:26:48,567
- Okay? We're screWed.
- Okay.

496
00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:50,798
This is What We get
for trusting Fogell, okay?

497
00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:53,170
He pussied out.
I knoW he pussied out.

498
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:55,580
What are you making?

499
00:26:56,114 --> 00:27:00,517
I'm just drilling holes.
The last tWo Weeks. Fuck it.

500
00:27:00,986 --> 00:27:03,477
What do We tell the girls,
We couldn't do the one thing...

501
00:27:03,688 --> 00:27:05,849
...We promised because
We're dickless incompetents?

502
00:27:06,057 --> 00:27:09,151
NoW We're never gonna bone
because of that used tampon, Fogell.

503
00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:13,058
HoW'd he get into Dartmouth?
I don't get it. He's got shit for brains.

504
00:27:13,264 --> 00:27:15,164
All right,
hoW else can We get alcohol?

505
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:18,097
- Yo, guys! What's up?
- Fogell, Where have you been, man?

506
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,168
You almost gave me
a goddamn heart attack.

507
00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:23,569
- Let me see it. Did you pussy out?
- No, no, man. I got it.

508
00:27:23,775 --> 00:27:25,834
It's flaWless. Check it.

509
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,238
HaWaii?

510
00:27:27,445 --> 00:27:30,073
All right, that's good.
It's hard to trace, I guess.

511
00:27:30,281 --> 00:27:33,648
Wait, you changed your name
to McLovin?

512
00:27:34,185 --> 00:27:36,483
- Yeah.
- McLovin?

513
00:27:37,555 --> 00:27:40,649
What kind of a stupid name is that?
Are you an Irish R & B singer?

514
00:27:40,859 --> 00:27:43,191
They let you pick any name you Want
When you're there.

515
00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:44,987
And you landed on McLovin?

516
00:27:45,196 --> 00:27:47,357
Yeah, it Was betWeen that
or Mohammad.

517
00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:49,726
Why the fuck Would it be
betWeen that or Mohammad?

518
00:27:49,934 --> 00:27:51,925
Why not just pick
a common name?

519
00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:55,265
Mohammad is the most common name
on earth. Read a fucking book.

520
00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:57,270
Have you ever met anyone
named Mohammad?

521
00:27:57,475 --> 00:27:59,272
Have you ever met anyone
named McLovin?

522
00:27:59,477 --> 00:28:01,570
No, that's Why you picked
a dumb fucking name.

523
00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:03,042
- Fuck you.
- Give me that.

524
00:28:03,248 --> 00:28:06,649
All right. You look like a future
pedophile in this picture, number one.

525
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,945
Number tWo, it doesn't even have
a first name. It just says McLovin!

526
00:28:10,155 --> 00:28:11,247
What? One name?

527
00:28:11,456 --> 00:28:14,016
One name? Who are you, Seal?

528
00:28:14,225 --> 00:28:16,523
Fogell, this ID says
you're 25 years old.

529
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:18,286
Why Wouldn't you just put 21, man?

530
00:28:18,496 --> 00:28:20,521
Seth, Seth, Seth.
Listen up, ass-face.

531
00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:24,224
Every day, hundreds of kids go into
the liquor store With their fake IDs...

532
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:26,233
...and every single one
says they're 21.

533
00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:28,167
HoW many 21 -year-olds
are in this toWn?

534
00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,772
It's called fucking strategy.

535
00:28:29,974 --> 00:28:32,135
Let's stay calm, okay?
Let's not lose our heads.

536
00:28:32,343 --> 00:28:35,471
It's a fine ID. It'll-- It's gonna Work.
It's passable, okay?

537
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,205
This isn't terrible.
I mean, it's up to you, Fogell.

538
00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:40,941
This guy's gonna think,
"Here's a kid With a fake ID"...

539
00:28:41,152 --> 00:28:45,384
...or "Here's McLovin, the 25-year-old
HaWaiian organ donor."

540
00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:47,751
Okay? So, What's it gonna be?

541
00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:49,783
I am McLovin.

542
00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:53,457
No, you're not. No one's McLovin.
McLovin's never existed...

543
00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:57,032
...because that's a made-up, dumb,
fucking fairy-tale name, you fuck!

544
00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,567
Jeez, man. It'll Work.
Give it a chance.

545
00:28:59,771 --> 00:29:01,136
Did you move my--?

546
00:29:01,339 --> 00:29:02,601
Where is my car?

547
00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:04,206
Oh, my God, man.

548
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:06,775
What did I say to you?
I told you not to park here.

549
00:29:06,978 --> 00:29:09,378
Why Would you park
in the staff parking lot?

550
00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:10,878
Shut the fuck up, Fogell.

551
00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:13,642
I mean, because you're not staff.

552
00:29:13,852 --> 00:29:17,379
I knoW that, Fagell! I knoW that!

553
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,656
Evan, let's go to your house.

554
00:29:22,794 --> 00:29:25,422
Wait, are you guys
still picking me up from Work?

555
00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:28,423
Can you ansWer me?

556
00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:34,967
Man, don't you have
any non-infant clothes?

557
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,007
- It'll be fine.
- Yeah.

558
00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:39,369
Why don't you just Wear
What you Wore to school?

559
00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:42,637
I can't do that. I can't let Jules
see me in What I Wore to school.

560
00:29:42,847 --> 00:29:44,280
It's completely unbecoming.

561
00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:47,883
No one's gotten a handjob
in cargo shorts since Nam.

562
00:29:48,086 --> 00:29:50,953
I have to kill these guys.
You don't negotiate With terrorists.

563
00:29:51,156 --> 00:29:53,989
Really? Yeah, that's What
We should be talking about right noW.

564
00:29:54,192 --> 00:29:56,660
Then Why don't you go
and get some of your oWn clothes?

565
00:29:56,861 --> 00:29:58,226
That's the dumbest thing ever.

566
00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:01,557
My parents Will see that my car's
been toWed and I'll be grounded.

567
00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:03,893
These fucking terrorists
multiply like bunnies.

568
00:30:04,102 --> 00:30:05,399
Where did I leave the M16?

569
00:30:05,603 --> 00:30:09,004
Do you have any bigger clothes
or do you only shop at babyGap?

570
00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:11,437
Fuck me. I can't--

571
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:14,240
That's fun.
Why do they make that?

572
00:30:14,445 --> 00:30:17,505
If you can't even Win,
then Why am I fucking playing?

573
00:30:17,715 --> 00:30:19,478
Do you Wanna go see
What my dad has?

574
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:45,071
<i>What the fuck?</i>

575
00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:49,705
What the hell is that?

576
00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:51,848
It's a fucking vest, dumbass.

577
00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,518
- I'm trying to look older.
- You look like Pinocchio.

578
00:30:54,719 --> 00:30:57,210
- It's just a vest.
- They got a lot of booze in there.

579
00:30:57,422 --> 00:31:00,391
If We get it noW, We can get
to the party faster With Jules' shit.

580
00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,787
No Way, man. I Work there.
They knoW I'm not 25.

581
00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:05,019
Nobody said anything about you,
dick-mouth.

582
00:31:05,230 --> 00:31:07,255
You really fucked me on this one.

583
00:31:07,465 --> 00:31:09,262
So noW I'm gonna steal the booze.

584
00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:12,231
Don't do this.
I promise you I'll get the liquor later.

585
00:31:12,437 --> 00:31:14,735
Mike Snider's ID alWays Works.
So Will mine, man.

586
00:31:14,939 --> 00:31:18,375
Mike Snider's ID doesn't have
one fucking name on it! Okay?

587
00:31:18,576 --> 00:31:22,171
I thought you Dartmouth guys Would
be smart enough to understand that.

588
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,046
NoW Seth's gotta
pick up all the pieces.

589
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:26,911
He Won't do it. Don't Worry.

590
00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:30,315
I forgot to tell you, my mom said We
can have the TV from the basement--

591
00:31:30,521 --> 00:31:32,216
Shut the fuck up,
he's gonna hear you.

592
00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:34,220
Just be quiet.
Wait until he goes aWay.

593
00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:36,985
You still haven't told him
that We're rooming together?

594
00:31:37,195 --> 00:31:38,628
Fogell, shut the fuck up.

595
00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:40,923
And take off your vest.
You look like Aladdin.

596
00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:43,828
Okay. You got it.

597
00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,602
Hope piggy can run.

598
00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:12,352
HoW old are you?

599
00:32:12,563 --> 00:32:14,121
TWenty-tWo.

600
00:32:14,632 --> 00:32:17,260
You certainly are.
That'll be 80 dollars.

601
00:32:17,835 --> 00:32:19,564
Okay.

602
00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:22,069
Thank you kindly. Will that do?

603
00:32:22,273 --> 00:32:24,468
Certainly Will. Thank you, Seth.

604
00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:26,644
Hey, thank you.

605
00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:38,688
You dropped your purse, ma'am.

606
00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:40,323
Would you like some help?

607
00:32:40,525 --> 00:32:42,720
Well, that Would be lovely,
young man.

608
00:32:42,927 --> 00:32:46,021
Would you like me
to buy you alcohol?

609
00:32:46,531 --> 00:32:48,522
That Would be lovely.

610
00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:51,293
- Enjoy your remaining years.
- I Will.

611
00:32:51,502 --> 00:32:54,801
- Enjoy fucking Jules.
- I Will.

612
00:33:13,091 --> 00:33:14,752
Don't do it, kid.

613
00:33:18,930 --> 00:33:20,898
I never had a choice.

614
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:30,871
You fucking killed her!

615
00:33:31,943 --> 00:33:32,910
No!

616
00:33:43,254 --> 00:33:46,223
Where's all the stolen liquor?
Did you hide it up your butt?

617
00:33:46,424 --> 00:33:49,222
Piss off! I Was gonna do it,
but there Was a security breach.

618
00:33:49,427 --> 00:33:50,655
You never Would've done it.

619
00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:54,093
Let's go to a liquor store
and Watch your stupid ID get rejected.

620
00:33:54,298 --> 00:33:56,732
Wait, I'm gonna go put my vest
back in my locker.

621
00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:25,455
All right. Here We are. This is it.

622
00:34:25,663 --> 00:34:26,960
- You ready? Yeah?
- Yeah.

623
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:31,566
- Here's the money and the list.
- Change is yours. Keep the change.

624
00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:34,829
- Thank you. What's the list for?
- The alcohol.

625
00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:37,940
We're gonna get alcohol
for the Whole party, okay?

626
00:34:38,142 --> 00:34:40,804
We put a lot of time into this list,
so don't fuck it up.

627
00:34:41,012 --> 00:34:41,979
It's perfect.

628
00:34:42,180 --> 00:34:45,513
Ouzo, bourbon,
spiced rum, Goldslick... .

629
00:34:45,716 --> 00:34:48,184
Goldslick Vodka. That's for Becca.
Don't forget that.

630
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,119
Raspberry vodka, Scotch... .

631
00:34:51,322 --> 00:34:53,085
And Kyle's Killer Lemonade.
A six-pack.

632
00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,192
This is a lot. I don't knoW
if I can get aWay With all this.

633
00:34:56,394 --> 00:34:57,793
What difference does it make?

634
00:34:57,995 --> 00:35:01,362
I don't knoW, man.
I'm, like, really nervous.

635
00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:04,434
- Are you okay?
- No, man. I should have Wore the vest.

636
00:35:04,635 --> 00:35:06,967
- Calm doWn.
- What the fuck are you doing?

637
00:35:07,171 --> 00:35:09,036
What if I go in
and they turn me doWn, man?

638
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,105
Then We're in the same place
We're in noW.

639
00:35:11,309 --> 00:35:13,004
- Who cares?
- It's fucking humiliating!

640
00:35:13,211 --> 00:35:15,008
Everybody sees them
kicking me out.

641
00:35:15,213 --> 00:35:18,307
What if they make me
put the liquor back? I can't do that.

642
00:35:18,516 --> 00:35:20,882
This Whole thing
is bigger than you, Fogell!

643
00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:24,452
So groW a pair of nuts and fucking
Walk in there and buy the alcohol!

644
00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:27,184
What if I don't feel like it
anymore, Seth? What?

645
00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:29,188
Then I'll fucking kill you, okay?

646
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:31,361
I'll stab you
through your fucking heart.

647
00:35:31,562 --> 00:35:33,052
No, you can do this, man.
Come on.

648
00:35:33,264 --> 00:35:36,131
Killing me Won't get you alcohol.
I'm the one With the fake ID.

649
00:35:36,334 --> 00:35:38,325
Then I'll cut
your dumb fucking face off...

650
00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:41,630
...throW it over mine and get your ID
and buy it my fucking self!

651
00:35:41,839 --> 00:35:44,706
Oh, really? You don't have
the technology or the steady hands...

652
00:35:44,909 --> 00:35:46,877
...to pull off a procedure like that,
so ha!

653
00:35:47,078 --> 00:35:48,568
Peace.

654
00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:51,738
Fogell, just be cool, man.
Get in and get out.

655
00:35:51,949 --> 00:35:52,916
You're the hero.

656
00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,187
Sorry.

657
00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:28,945
Is there a problem here, sir?

658
00:36:29,153 --> 00:36:32,486
No. No problem Whatsoever.

659
00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:38,355
Sir, did you do this? On the floor?

660
00:36:38,563 --> 00:36:40,030
No.

661
00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:41,858
And you should really clean this up.

662
00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:44,227
Someone could really
hurt themselves.

663
00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:47,868
Fuck my life.

664
00:36:48,472 --> 00:36:49,905
We're so fucked.
We're so fucked.

665
00:36:50,107 --> 00:36:51,938
This plan's been fucked
since Jump Street.

666
00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:54,737
Okay, just calm doWn.
Just calm doWn, all right?

667
00:36:55,279 --> 00:36:58,009
Hey, so did you bring a condom
for tonight?

668
00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:00,150
You brought a condom With you?

669
00:37:00,351 --> 00:37:02,216
Yeah. I figured
I might as Well, you knoW?

670
00:37:02,420 --> 00:37:04,945
I brought a little bottle
of spermicidal lube too.

671
00:37:07,558 --> 00:37:10,322
You laughed in my face
When I said I'd be having sex tonight.

672
00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:12,826
That doesn't mean
you shouldn't alWays be prepared.

673
00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:15,328
- You didn't even bring a condom?
- No.

674
00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:17,330
No, Evan,
that Wasn't part of the plan.

675
00:37:17,535 --> 00:37:19,560
You did this
Without consulting With me.

676
00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:23,433
We've never discussed, like, any plan,
but you keep saying We have a plan.

677
00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:26,576
I had, like, a general outline.
You knoW?

678
00:37:26,777 --> 00:37:29,575
I Was gonna go doWn on her
for, like, several hours, okay?

679
00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:32,681
She Would love that. She'd be smitten.
She'd go out With that.

680
00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:34,578
Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg.

681
00:37:34,785 --> 00:37:37,811
Well, I just-- I don't see the harm
in bringing one little condom.

682
00:37:38,022 --> 00:37:40,149
And one little bottle
of spermicidal lube?

683
00:37:40,358 --> 00:37:42,792
Yeah, one little bottle
of spermicidal lube.

684
00:37:42,994 --> 00:37:45,792
- Evan, that's psycho shit, man.
- No, it's not.

685
00:37:45,997 --> 00:37:47,624
That's, like, Charles Manson shit.

686
00:37:47,832 --> 00:37:50,926
What, do you think Becca's gonna be
psyched that you brought lube?

687
00:37:51,135 --> 00:37:54,536
"Oh, Evan. Thank you for bringing
that lube for my pussy.

688
00:37:54,739 --> 00:37:57,833
I never Would've been able to handle
your fucking 4-inch dick...

689
00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:01,136
...inside my pussy
Without that gigantic bottle of lube."

690
00:38:01,345 --> 00:38:02,972
- Okay, that's-- That's enough.
- Fuck.

691
00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:05,808
These girls are 18,
they're not dried-up old ladies.

692
00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:08,008
- They're good to go.
- Then I Won't bring the lube.

693
00:38:08,219 --> 00:38:11,188
Don't make me feel like that.
I thought it Was cool.

694
00:38:11,389 --> 00:38:13,687
- This is a nice kind.
- Let me see that for a second.

695
00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:15,882
- An impressive kind.
- It is kind of cool.

696
00:38:16,093 --> 00:38:17,788
- That's cool.
- Fucking dumbass. Lube?

697
00:38:17,995 --> 00:38:19,360
- That's funny.
- You brought lube?

698
00:38:19,563 --> 00:38:22,794
You oWe me 6 bucks because I'm not
Walking over to get it and it exploded.

699
00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:26,697
Hello, Mindy.

700
00:38:39,417 --> 00:38:41,977
I love that stuff.
Been drinking it for years.

701
00:38:43,387 --> 00:38:47,721
You knoW, I heard they recently
decided to add more hops to it.

702
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,190
Okay.

703
00:38:53,397 --> 00:38:55,888
I'm gonna need to see
some identification.

704
00:38:58,069 --> 00:38:59,366
Really?

705
00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:01,800
Makes me feel young again.
There you go.

706
00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:06,670
Oh, shit, it's Cary Hutchins.

707
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:11,315
She had the biggest tits
I've ever seen.

708
00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:13,346
I heard she got
breast-reduction surgery.

709
00:39:13,551 --> 00:39:15,212
What? Making your tits smaller?

710
00:39:15,419 --> 00:39:18,479
That's like slapping God
for giving you a gorgeous gift.

711
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:19,951
She had back problems, man.

712
00:39:20,157 --> 00:39:23,251
And it's not just making them smaller.
They completely reshape them.

713
00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:25,395
They make them
more supple and symmetrical.

714
00:39:26,163 --> 00:39:28,063
I gotta catch a glimpse
of these Warlocks.

715
00:39:28,265 --> 00:39:29,823
Let's make a move.

716
00:39:31,402 --> 00:39:33,233
- She's going around the corner.
- Come on!

717
00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:42,578
Okay. Your total is 96.59.

718
00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:53,785
I don't believe it!

719
00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:56,750
Are you okay, mister?

720
00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,688
What the shit Was that?

721
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:04,258
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.

722
00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:07,101
I don't believe it.

723
00:40:07,304 --> 00:40:09,670
I don't knoW, man.
I think she looked better before.

724
00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:13,275
But noW that she can jog comfortably,
she's in the best shape she's ever--

725
00:40:16,647 --> 00:40:18,410
What is this? What's that?

726
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:22,414
Oh, man.

727
00:40:27,658 --> 00:40:29,216
Holy shit, they busted Fogell.

728
00:40:30,327 --> 00:40:32,227
HoW did this happen, Evan?
Fuck, man!

729
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:33,920
His dad's gonna fucking kill him.

730
00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:35,291
Look, okay?

731
00:40:35,499 --> 00:40:38,900
He assaulted the customer,
grabbed the cash and ran out.

732
00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:40,070
So... .

733
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,898
- HoW--?
- HoW--? HoW--? HoW--?

734
00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:45,507
- Say When, height-Wise.
- I'm gonna start up here, tell me When.

735
00:40:45,709 --> 00:40:47,939
- I'll start on the bottom and--
- When.

736
00:40:48,145 --> 00:40:50,170
Whatever 5'10" is,
he Was 5'10".

737
00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:53,043
Ethnically, I mean, did-- What--?

738
00:40:54,251 --> 00:40:58,813
I mean, Was he--?
Was he like us, or--?

739
00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:01,488
A Woman?

740
00:41:01,692 --> 00:41:02,716
- Female?
- No.

741
00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:05,418
- Is that What you're asking?
- No, no. Was he--?

742
00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:06,596
- Like... .
- What? What?

743
00:41:06,797 --> 00:41:07,764
- African?
- Af-- Af--

744
00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:09,489
- Was he African?
- African.

745
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:11,759
No. He Was American,
and he Was like you.

746
00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:14,836
- He looked just like you.
- He Was JeWish. Okay, JeW.

747
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:17,530
- It's an odd crime for a JeW.
- They're pretty docile.

748
00:41:17,741 --> 00:41:21,336
Okay, so We have an African JeW
Wearing a hoodie.

749
00:41:21,545 --> 00:41:25,072
No, you don't. No. That's not What
I said. Is that What you heard me say?

750
00:41:25,282 --> 00:41:28,080
I said he looked like you.
Do you look like an African JeW?

751
00:41:28,953 --> 00:41:31,114
- No, I look like a cop.
- Yeah.

752
00:41:32,456 --> 00:41:34,651
He Was Caucasian.

753
00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:36,622
- Caucasian.
- All right.

754
00:41:36,827 --> 00:41:37,794
- Okay.
- Well, touch�.

755
00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:40,327
Kind of looked like Eminem.
Does that help you?

756
00:41:40,531 --> 00:41:41,498
- An M&M.
- An M&M.

757
00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:44,395
- So he Was circular--?
- Marshall Mathers. Eminem?

758
00:41:44,602 --> 00:41:47,799
- The rapper, Eminem.
- Did he look like this?

759
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,830
- I'm an amateur. I kind of--
- That looks like an M&M.

760
00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:55,410
Longer face? Bigger nose?
Would you say his mouth Was Wider?

761
00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:56,978
Open? A gap?

762
00:41:57,181 --> 00:42:02,016
Is there another squad car in the area
that could be of further assistance?

763
00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:03,846
I don't seem to be getting any.

764
00:42:04,054 --> 00:42:06,955
Okay, so just Walk me through again
What this guy did.

765
00:42:07,157 --> 00:42:10,217
He-- He-- He came in, he's Wielding--

766
00:42:10,427 --> 00:42:14,693
He's Wielding something. He hits
this small gentleman in the slacks.

767
00:42:14,899 --> 00:42:17,925
And then he jumps over you,
he feels you up, violates you.

768
00:42:18,135 --> 00:42:19,796
- I did not say that.
- No, he doesn't.

769
00:42:20,004 --> 00:42:23,633
Look, I can't do this. I told you already,
I have an exam tomorroW.

770
00:42:23,841 --> 00:42:27,174
Can you understand that?
I have a goddamn veterinary exam!

771
00:42:28,746 --> 00:42:30,509
Goddamn it. This is bullshit.

772
00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:33,444
This is some bullshit.
I got an exam tomorroW. Forget this.

773
00:42:33,651 --> 00:42:35,516
Well, apparently someone
has an exam.

774
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,380
HoW'd you knoW?

775
00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:39,882
You. You're the one
that got punched?

776
00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:41,717
- Yeah.
- Okay.

777
00:42:41,926 --> 00:42:44,292
First things first.
What is your name?

778
00:42:48,165 --> 00:42:49,894
My name?

779
00:42:50,100 --> 00:42:53,900
It's M-- McLov-- McLovin.

780
00:42:54,505 --> 00:42:55,972
McLovin?

781
00:42:56,173 --> 00:42:57,538
Yeah.

782
00:42:58,609 --> 00:43:00,099
NoW, What's your first name?

783
00:43:00,311 --> 00:43:01,505
What?

784
00:43:01,712 --> 00:43:03,543
- Your first name?
- My first name?

785
00:43:04,815 --> 00:43:09,479
Technically I don't have a first name,
so don't Worry about my first name.

786
00:43:10,554 --> 00:43:12,715
But We're the police.

787
00:43:12,923 --> 00:43:14,754
We just Wanna get
the story straight.

788
00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:17,453
- Come on.
- Fuck, man.

789
00:43:17,661 --> 00:43:20,061
- Come on!
- He must be so afraid.

790
00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:23,233
I don't believe this bullshit.
I can't believe this is happening!

791
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:26,926
I didn't knoW you could get arrested
for this shit. We need that liquor.

792
00:43:27,137 --> 00:43:29,765
- Are they gonna take him doWntoWn?
- Fuck Fogell.

793
00:43:29,974 --> 00:43:31,805
He got arrested, okay?
We're on our oWn.

794
00:43:32,009 --> 00:43:33,533
We need a neW Way to get liq--

795
00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:37,339
Fuck! The money, man! Fuck!
HoW much money can you get?

796
00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:39,709
Why are you talking about money?
What about Fogell?

797
00:43:39,917 --> 00:43:43,580
That doesn't matter anymore. I lost
a hundred dollars of Jules' money.

798
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:47,348
Are We gonna bust him out of jail?
Bake a cake With a fucking file in it?

799
00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:51,619
Fuck Fogell. We need a neW Way to
get liquor, Which is fucking impossible.

800
00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:54,730
All right, you need to calm doWn.
We need to think for a second.

801
00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:57,696
- We need to think this out.
- Fuck thinking, We need to act!

802
00:44:00,037 --> 00:44:01,265
Seth!

803
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:04,305
- What the fuck happened?
- Just-- Just get up. SloWly.

804
00:44:04,508 --> 00:44:07,272
You all right? You okay?

805
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:10,413
I am so sorry, man. I am so sorry.

806
00:44:10,614 --> 00:44:14,607
I didn't even effing see you at all, man.
Are you okay?

807
00:44:14,818 --> 00:44:18,219
So it's just McLovin?

808
00:44:18,422 --> 00:44:19,980
Yeah.

809
00:44:20,758 --> 00:44:22,953
- That's badass.
- That is badass.

810
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,388
- Really cool.
- A badass name.

811
00:44:24,595 --> 00:44:27,291
- Lot of people With Weird names.
- Chingy. Shakira.

812
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:28,931
Rafe. Pax.

813
00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:32,261
We arrested a man-lady
Who Was legally named "Fuck."

814
00:44:32,469 --> 00:44:34,334
Think he Was Vietnamese,
it Was With a P-H.

815
00:44:34,538 --> 00:44:36,506
But it's still shocking
to see on a license.

816
00:44:36,707 --> 00:44:40,234
- Okay, and hoW old are you, McLovin?
- Old enough.

817
00:44:41,645 --> 00:44:43,112
Old enough for What?

818
00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:47,482
To party.

819
00:44:51,822 --> 00:44:53,687
Can I see your ID?

820
00:44:54,258 --> 00:44:56,317
Yeah, I think I have it.

821
00:45:20,851 --> 00:45:24,014
- You're an organ donor.
- What?

822
00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:25,916
I didn't Wanna, but my Wife insisted.

823
00:45:26,123 --> 00:45:27,886
I give him shit for it too. All the time.

824
00:45:28,092 --> 00:45:31,118
I say, "It's just like a Woman.
Even after you're dead...

825
00:45:31,328 --> 00:45:34,388
...they Wanna tear your heart out."
- They Wanna tear your... .

826
00:45:34,598 --> 00:45:37,362
- I say it Weekly and it's still funny.
- It still makes me laugh.

827
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:39,001
- Really funny.
- There you go.

828
00:45:39,203 --> 00:45:42,297
I'm sorry, guys.
I don't really have any information.

829
00:45:42,506 --> 00:45:45,066
He just hit me,
and I didn't see What he looked like.

830
00:45:45,275 --> 00:45:47,641
- I don't knoW if I can help you.
- You in a hurry?

831
00:45:47,845 --> 00:45:49,870
Yeah, kind of had to catch that bus.

832
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,777
- Where Were you headed?
- Near 13th and Granville.

833
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:57,383
- We can take you there.
- Get your information on the Way.

834
00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:59,852
- Why Waste 2 bucks?
- We'll take you. No problem.

835
00:46:00,057 --> 00:46:03,686
Please don't report me, man.
We can figure this out, right?

836
00:46:03,894 --> 00:46:06,488
Why the fuck Wouldn't I report you?
You just hit me.

837
00:46:08,532 --> 00:46:10,523
Because I'll do anything.

838
00:46:10,734 --> 00:46:13,225
Please, okay? Anything.
Like, literally...

839
00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:14,870
...fucking anything.

840
00:46:15,072 --> 00:46:18,667
Name anything. Name it. Name it.

841
00:46:19,743 --> 00:46:22,507
All right, look. Hey, man. All right.

842
00:46:22,713 --> 00:46:24,146
Listen, you can trust me, okay?

843
00:46:24,815 --> 00:46:27,579
I'm gonna be totally honest With you.

844
00:46:29,019 --> 00:46:31,419
I have a Warrant out
for a totally nonviolent crime.

845
00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:35,353
Okay? There. Mercy Street, guys.

846
00:46:35,559 --> 00:46:37,254
I'll be honest With you for a second.

847
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:39,691
You better get us a shitload of cash
or a shitload of alcohol...

848
00:46:39,897 --> 00:46:41,558
...or you're going to fucking prison.

849
00:46:41,765 --> 00:46:43,858
What are you doing, man?
You don't need to--

850
00:46:44,067 --> 00:46:46,035
No, let's not--
Let's hang on a second here.

851
00:46:46,236 --> 00:46:47,294
- Cough it up.
- Fine.

852
00:46:47,504 --> 00:46:49,335
Don't knoW if We should be
doing anything official.

853
00:46:49,573 --> 00:46:52,474
<i>We're Working together. It's like
Let's Make a Deal. Here We go.</i>

854
00:46:53,377 --> 00:46:54,776
Seven bucks?

855
00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:58,038
Are you fucking serious? This isn't
enough. What are you, a 6-year-old?

856
00:46:58,315 --> 00:47:01,944
- It's all I have, man. It's all I have.
- You better think of something quickly.

857
00:47:02,152 --> 00:47:06,111
- My back! My back. Cops, my back.
- No, no, no. Wait, don't do that.

858
00:47:06,323 --> 00:47:08,587
All right, listen.
I can get you alcohol.

859
00:47:08,792 --> 00:47:10,953
I'm going over to this party
right noW, bro. Okay?

860
00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:15,097
It's got booze, it's got girls.
Booze and girls equals... .

861
00:47:15,299 --> 00:47:17,494
I don't knoW. Do you?
I don't knoW. Do you?

862
00:47:17,701 --> 00:47:20,636
- I think you do. Do you?
- Yes. That's a definite yes.

863
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:21,805
Definite yes, then.

864
00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:24,337
- Give me one sec to talk to him.
- Stay right here.

865
00:47:24,541 --> 00:47:27,840
Yeah, yeah. Do What you gotta do.
Mix it over. I'll be over by the car.

866
00:47:28,045 --> 00:47:31,014
Just talk it out. Hey, I'm a nice guy.

867
00:47:31,815 --> 00:47:33,942
- Come on, it's great.
- What are you thinking?

868
00:47:34,151 --> 00:47:35,618
- What are you doing?
- What?

869
00:47:35,819 --> 00:47:38,219
I lost Jules' money,
Fogell's dead to us noW...

870
00:47:38,422 --> 00:47:40,014
...We don't have any choice.
Let's go.

871
00:47:40,224 --> 00:47:43,193
I don't like this idea. This guy's
fucking creepy, man. Look at him.

872
00:47:43,393 --> 00:47:46,157
What? He looks like a guy.
That's What guys look like.

873
00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:48,991
- What is your problem?
- You guys knoW a guy named Jimmy?

874
00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:51,429
You totally look like his brother.

875
00:47:51,635 --> 00:47:54,069
You totally
look like his brother, man.

876
00:47:54,271 --> 00:47:55,829
You do.

877
00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:59,338
You promised Becca
you'd get her alcohol.

878
00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:01,511
If you don't, she's gonna have
a shitty night.

879
00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,680
That's all I'm saying. Come on.

880
00:48:04,481 --> 00:48:06,449
We bingo, bango, ready to go, go?

881
00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:09,575
- Good luck on your exam tomorroW.
- Good luck on your exam.

882
00:48:09,786 --> 00:48:12,687
- You don't Wanna ride the bus.
- Buses smell like piss, generally.

883
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:13,857
- You knoW Why?
- Why?

884
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,649
People piss on them.

885
00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:26,758
You knoW, one of you bros could've
come up and sat up With me.

886
00:48:26,970 --> 00:48:28,665
- We're fine back here.
- Back's fine.

887
00:48:28,872 --> 00:48:30,806
Safe in the back seat.

888
00:48:34,278 --> 00:48:35,336
- Oh, my God.
- What's up?

889
00:48:36,713 --> 00:48:39,307
- Hey, Jules.
- Who is it? Who's on the phone?

890
00:48:39,516 --> 00:48:40,983
Seth. Hey, Where are you?

891
00:48:41,184 --> 00:48:44,642
I'm in a cab right noW,
on the Way to a liquor store.

892
00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:46,652
Good. I can't Wait
for you to get here.

893
00:48:46,857 --> 00:48:49,382
Well, I hope your friends
are ready to get fucked up.

894
00:48:50,994 --> 00:48:52,222
<i>I'm sure they will be.</i>

895
00:48:52,429 --> 00:48:54,624
<i>- Okay, I'll see you soon.
- Peace.</i>

896
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:57,396
Oh, man! Dude, this is crazy.

897
00:48:57,601 --> 00:49:00,331
She called, she said,
"I can't Wait for you to get there."

898
00:49:00,537 --> 00:49:03,472
That sounds like
she fully Wants it, man! Oh, yeah!

899
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:08,168
Who's gonna give it to her, huh,
my man? You, that's Who.

900
00:49:08,378 --> 00:49:10,573
Man.

901
00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:12,609
You guys on MySpace, or...?

902
00:49:25,696 --> 00:49:29,723
Officers? I can ansWer those
questions noW if you Want me to.

903
00:49:29,933 --> 00:49:32,959
We get the gist of it. You Were
buying beer, some guys punched you.

904
00:49:33,170 --> 00:49:35,365
Don't Worry about it.
We're not gonna find them.

905
00:49:35,572 --> 00:49:38,132
- Case closed.
- But it Was only--

906
00:49:49,519 --> 00:49:53,011
- But it Was only one guy.
- Only one guy? Shit.

907
00:49:53,223 --> 00:49:54,815
HoW am I supposed to
find one guy?

908
00:49:55,025 --> 00:49:58,461
<i>This job really isn't hoW, you knoW,
shoWs like CSI make it out to be.</i>

909
00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:02,291
When I first joined the force, I assumed
there Was semen on everything...

910
00:50:02,499 --> 00:50:04,967
...and there Was some, like,
huge semen database...

911
00:50:05,168 --> 00:50:08,331
...that had every bad guy's semen in it.
There isn't. That doesn't exist.

912
00:50:08,538 --> 00:50:11,336
I often go to sleep and dream of
Waking up in a World Where...

913
00:50:11,541 --> 00:50:13,975
...everything's covered in semen.
- I mean, Who doesn't?

914
00:50:14,177 --> 00:50:16,145
Lt'd be nice.
Like that crime scene today.

915
00:50:16,346 --> 00:50:18,780
If the man had ejaculated
and then punched you...

916
00:50:18,982 --> 00:50:20,609
...We'd have a shot at catching him.

917
00:50:20,817 --> 00:50:23,047
- No Way.
- Just punched in the face, no semen.

918
00:50:23,253 --> 00:50:25,744
- No semen.
- Story of my life.

919
00:50:30,961 --> 00:50:34,761
Michaels here, he's six months in.

920
00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:37,999
He's young,
but the Force is strong With this one.

921
00:50:38,201 --> 00:50:40,601
Learning you are, young padaWan.

922
00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:42,396
Thank you very much.

923
00:50:43,673 --> 00:50:46,039
- That's Yoda.
- Are you familiar With Yoda?

924
00:50:46,243 --> 00:50:47,733
<i>From Attack of the Clones?</i>

925
00:50:47,944 --> 00:50:52,005
<i>We have a 245 at East 24 and
Montgomery, Bailey's Bar and Grill.</i>

926
00:50:52,215 --> 00:50:54,183
Car 98 on it.

927
00:50:54,384 --> 00:50:57,319
See, Michaels, you alWays
take a call at a bar because...

928
00:50:57,521 --> 00:50:59,580
...better or Worse,
you get a beer out of it.

929
00:51:00,524 --> 00:51:01,582
Pretty sWeet, huh?

930
00:51:01,792 --> 00:51:03,885
- True that. Amazing thinking.
- Hey, McLovin.

931
00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:07,154
We got a situation at Bailey's,
so We'll drop you off after, all right?

932
00:51:07,364 --> 00:51:09,389
Actually, I kind of
have to be someWhere--

933
00:51:09,599 --> 00:51:12,659
- SWeet. Sit tight.
- Set course for Bailey's, Warp 10.

934
00:51:12,869 --> 00:51:14,200
Engage.

935
00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:21,138
Yeah.

936
00:51:21,344 --> 00:51:24,404
Welcome to the Thunderdome.

937
00:51:26,550 --> 00:51:29,178
Hey, man, are you sure it's cool
that We're here With you?

938
00:51:29,386 --> 00:51:30,717
Oh, definitely, man.

939
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,889
I'm essentially
best friends With the guy...

940
00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:35,024
...so a bunch of my buds
are coming.

941
00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:38,023
We're gonna rock out
With our cocks out. Just kidding.

942
00:51:38,228 --> 00:51:40,958
- We are gonna rock out.
- Just go, just go.

943
00:51:41,164 --> 00:51:43,132
What's up? What's up? What's up?

944
00:51:44,367 --> 00:51:46,767
Hello, hello. Hey, guys.

945
00:52:04,554 --> 00:52:06,681
This is something
a smart person Wouldn't do.

946
00:52:06,890 --> 00:52:09,518
Look, just act cool and act casual,
and try and look old.

947
00:52:09,726 --> 00:52:12,388
We'll get the booze
and get the fuck out of here, okay?

948
00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:18,460
Hey, Where the party at? Right.

949
00:52:18,668 --> 00:52:21,432
- You got those shots, bro?
- It's coming.

950
00:52:22,439 --> 00:52:23,929
Come on, let's party.

951
00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:27,542
Come on. Do it up.

952
00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,544
We should grab one of these buckets
and get out.

953
00:52:35,752 --> 00:52:38,516
You out of your mind? HoW are We
gonna get a fucking bucket out?

954
00:52:38,722 --> 00:52:40,587
- Dude, What the fuck?
- Hey, man.

955
00:52:40,790 --> 00:52:42,587
What the fuck do you think
you're doing?

956
00:52:42,792 --> 00:52:45,818
- What are you--? What? Nothing.
- You using my phone?

957
00:52:46,029 --> 00:52:49,658
- What do you think you're doing?
- Hang up. Nothing.

958
00:52:49,866 --> 00:52:51,731
What-- What--
What's Wrong, Mark?

959
00:52:51,935 --> 00:52:54,631
You Weren't invited.
Get the fuck out of here.

960
00:52:54,838 --> 00:52:57,932
- Come on, Mark. It's cool, man.
- You using my fucking phone?

961
00:52:58,141 --> 00:52:59,938
You calling your
fucking friends again?

962
00:53:00,143 --> 00:53:02,236
You calling your friends,
your fantastic friends?

963
00:53:02,445 --> 00:53:04,345
No. I mean, yes. But I mean I'll--

964
00:53:04,548 --> 00:53:06,982
Come on, man, just relax.
Mark, please.

965
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:09,345
Get the fuck out of here.
The fuck out of my house.

966
00:53:09,553 --> 00:53:11,020
Get the fuck out of my house.

967
00:53:11,221 --> 00:53:14,384
- This is my house.
- Don't be such a dick, man!

968
00:53:14,758 --> 00:53:16,157
What the fuck?

969
00:53:16,359 --> 00:53:18,350
Mark! You really Wanna do this, man?

970
00:53:18,562 --> 00:53:21,156
Here We go.
We're really gonna do this?

971
00:53:22,699 --> 00:53:24,496
That's right, motherfucker.

972
00:53:25,635 --> 00:53:27,865
Come on, pussy. Get up, dude.

973
00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:31,135
Oh, shit. I'm sorry, bro.
I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro.

974
00:53:31,341 --> 00:53:34,936
Tiger got out of the cage, man.
All right? I'm sorry. Come on, Mark.

975
00:53:35,145 --> 00:53:37,306
Let's just chill.
Everyone just chill out.

976
00:53:37,814 --> 00:53:39,714
Truce, man.

977
00:53:42,619 --> 00:53:44,553
Right in the nads!

978
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,561
This is for your friends.
Here, have another one.

979
00:53:50,771 --> 00:53:53,968
Shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit.
Oh, my God. What do We do?

980
00:53:54,174 --> 00:53:55,869
- Come on. Come on.
- Choose one.

981
00:53:56,977 --> 00:54:01,812
- We can slip out the back, man.
- Come on. Let's hurry up and do this.

982
00:54:02,015 --> 00:54:04,108
Are you crazy, man?
Wanna end up like that guy?

983
00:54:04,318 --> 00:54:06,878
Not me. I need my nuts, man,
for a lot of things.

984
00:54:07,087 --> 00:54:08,816
- We need liquor.
- You need it. I don't.

985
00:54:09,022 --> 00:54:11,684
I'm gonna tell Becca hoW I feel.
Maybe she'll get With me.

986
00:54:11,892 --> 00:54:14,190
I'm not gonna get her
drunk out of her mind.

987
00:54:14,394 --> 00:54:17,158
Oh, really? Then hoW come
you never made a move, you pussy?

988
00:54:17,364 --> 00:54:20,731
Because I respect her, Seth. I'm not
gonna put unfair pressure on her.

989
00:54:20,934 --> 00:54:22,925
I don't see a problem.
Let's just do it.

990
00:54:23,136 --> 00:54:25,832
We're leaving, okay?
You Wanna get killed for liquor?

991
00:54:26,039 --> 00:54:29,338
No, but I Would get killed for pussy,
no questions asked.

992
00:54:29,543 --> 00:54:32,671
- Fuck this, man.
- You're just gonna bail on me?

993
00:54:32,879 --> 00:54:35,746
- I'm going.
- Fucking bitch.

994
00:54:36,350 --> 00:54:38,648
Move, people.

995
00:54:39,653 --> 00:54:43,282
- Thank you.
- Oh, I love this place.

996
00:54:52,466 --> 00:54:54,093
What the hell is going on in there?

997
00:54:54,301 --> 00:54:56,531
If the bullets start flying,
hit the deck.

998
00:54:56,737 --> 00:54:58,932
You pissed everyWhere,
you son of a bitch!

999
00:54:59,139 --> 00:55:02,370
EveryWhere? You didn't
see me pissing anyWhere.

1000
00:55:02,576 --> 00:55:04,305
I don't knoW
What you're talking about.

1001
00:55:04,511 --> 00:55:06,206
Take your nuts out of your shells!

1002
00:55:06,413 --> 00:55:08,005
Michaels, I got your back.

1003
00:55:08,215 --> 00:55:10,115
Why don't you shoW this rummy
hoW We roll?

1004
00:55:10,317 --> 00:55:11,614
10-4.

1005
00:55:12,219 --> 00:55:15,211
Excuse me, sir.
Stop What you are doing at once.

1006
00:55:16,523 --> 00:55:19,651
- Blue guys!
- Resisting. Resisting!

1007
00:55:19,860 --> 00:55:21,418
- Slater!
- Michaels!

1008
00:55:21,895 --> 00:55:23,123
Everybody stay calm.

1009
00:55:24,998 --> 00:55:28,161
- Everybody stay calm.
- Get the fuck out of my Way!

1010
00:55:28,568 --> 00:55:30,331
Stay calm! Fuck!

1011
00:55:31,271 --> 00:55:33,171
- Should I shoot him?
- No, no, no!

1012
00:55:33,373 --> 00:55:35,637
- No!
- Stop him, McLovin!

1013
00:55:35,842 --> 00:55:38,572
McLovin, stop him!
Do it, do it, do it, do it!

1014
00:55:43,116 --> 00:55:46,347
Please stop it, you fucking bum.
What the fuck?

1015
00:56:01,035 --> 00:56:04,027
McLovin! Nice!

1016
00:56:04,605 --> 00:56:06,505
He just came at me.
I took him doWn.

1017
00:56:06,708 --> 00:56:09,233
- I'm buying you a beer, McLovin.
- I'm buying you one too.

1018
00:56:09,444 --> 00:56:12,004
Take note. That's hoW
you take doWn a motherfucker.

1019
00:56:12,213 --> 00:56:13,578
That's right.

1020
00:56:13,781 --> 00:56:16,341
McLovin in the fucking house!

1021
00:56:51,119 --> 00:56:55,453
Hey. You dance hot.

1022
00:56:56,391 --> 00:56:58,086
Thank you.

1023
00:57:13,908 --> 00:57:17,708
Okay, okay. Here We-- Here We go.

1024
00:57:18,579 --> 00:57:20,274
<i>- Hello?
- Evan, it's Becca.</i>

1025
00:57:20,481 --> 00:57:22,210
Oh, Becca. Hi.

1026
00:57:22,417 --> 00:57:26,649
Hey. Hello. Hey. Becca.

1027
00:57:27,054 --> 00:57:28,544
<i>- Becca--
- Evan, can you hear me?</i>

1028
00:57:28,756 --> 00:57:30,781
<i>- Hello? What?
- Can you hear- -? Piece of shit!</i>

1029
00:57:30,992 --> 00:57:33,358
Guy sells me
a piece of shit fucking phone.

1030
00:57:33,561 --> 00:57:34,994
- Becca?
- It's Becca.

1031
00:57:35,196 --> 00:57:37,187
<i>I get one bar
everywhere I fucking go.</i>

1032
00:57:37,398 --> 00:57:40,162
<i>- What is he saying?
- Fucking asshole.</i>

1033
00:57:40,368 --> 00:57:42,131
- I think--
- What happened?

1034
00:57:42,336 --> 00:57:43,894
Son-of-a-fucking-bitch
phone company.

1035
00:57:44,105 --> 00:57:46,767
<i>- What? It's rude. Hello?
- Fuck. You suck.</i>

1036
00:57:46,974 --> 00:57:48,601
Bullshit phone. Piece of shit.

1037
00:57:48,810 --> 00:57:51,142
<i>I swear I'll bitchslap you
so fucking hard.</i>

1038
00:57:51,345 --> 00:57:52,903
- What?
- Bec--?

1039
00:58:36,958 --> 00:58:38,823
Thanks.

1040
00:58:40,528 --> 00:58:42,257
This is fucking crazy.

1041
00:58:51,305 --> 00:58:54,570
Hey. Look What fell out of the truck!

1042
00:58:56,410 --> 00:58:57,843
You're full of shit.

1043
00:58:58,045 --> 00:58:59,979
Yeah, I knoW.

1044
00:59:00,681 --> 00:59:05,277
Dude. Dude.
We're so gonna get fucked up.

1045
00:59:05,486 --> 00:59:07,818
- All right.
- Hey.

1046
00:59:08,356 --> 00:59:09,983
What is that?

1047
00:59:11,359 --> 00:59:12,986
I don't knoW. What?

1048
00:59:13,194 --> 00:59:16,925
That fucking stain on your pants, idiot.
What is that?

1049
00:59:17,431 --> 00:59:19,524
- What are you talking about, man?
- Dude.

1050
00:59:20,468 --> 00:59:22,902
- Is that blood?
- What the fuck is that?

1051
00:59:23,104 --> 00:59:25,072
- Are you bleeding?
- I'm not cut or anything.

1052
00:59:25,273 --> 00:59:27,969
- Why Would I be bleeding?
- It's fucking blood, man.

1053
00:59:29,143 --> 00:59:31,805
Were you dancing
With some chick in there?

1054
00:59:32,380 --> 00:59:34,610
- Yeah, so?
- It's blood.

1055
00:59:34,815 --> 00:59:38,342
- Dude, that's not funny.
- It's blood, dude.

1056
00:59:38,553 --> 00:59:42,080
But Why Would I be bleeding?
Why the fuck Would I be bl--?

1057
00:59:42,290 --> 00:59:44,053
Dude, Why Would there be bl--?

1058
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,329
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.

1059
00:59:51,532 --> 00:59:54,933
Oh, shit.
I'm gonna fucking throW up.

1060
00:59:55,136 --> 00:59:56,660
Someone perioded
on my fucking leg?

1061
00:59:56,871 --> 00:59:58,930
- Oh, shit.
- What the fuck do I do?

1062
00:59:59,140 --> 01:00:01,370
I've never before
seen that in my life!

1063
01:00:01,576 --> 01:00:03,237
This is so disgusting.

1064
01:00:03,444 --> 01:00:04,934
- Yes, it is.
- I'm gonna go get Bill.

1065
01:00:05,146 --> 01:00:06,670
- He's gotta check this shit out.
- Fuck, yeah.

1066
01:00:06,881 --> 01:00:10,078
No. Who's Bill? Don't tell Bill!
Bill has nothing to do With this!

1067
01:00:10,284 --> 01:00:12,844
Hey, calm doWn.
Let me get a picture of that real quick.

1068
01:00:13,054 --> 01:00:14,385
No, you can't have a picture!

1069
01:00:14,589 --> 01:00:16,455
- Dude, stop!
- Bill, Bill! Check it out!

1070
01:00:16,658 --> 01:00:18,558
This kid's got period blood
on his slacks.

1071
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:20,557
It's merlot.
That's What you don't get.

1072
01:00:20,762 --> 01:00:23,390
Hey, Pat! This jerk-off's
got period blood on his pants!

1073
01:00:23,599 --> 01:00:25,567
- Please stop.
- God, man, let me see.

1074
01:00:25,767 --> 01:00:28,702
Oh, my God,
that's a fucking man-gina, man.

1075
01:00:28,904 --> 01:00:32,305
- Do you need a tampon? I could--
- Wait, Wait. I have one! I have one!

1076
01:00:32,975 --> 01:00:34,966
Yeah, right? I don't knoW.

1077
01:00:35,177 --> 01:00:38,203
- I gotta Wash this off. Is this the line?
- What does it look like?

1078
01:00:38,413 --> 01:00:40,074
Fuck me, right?

1079
01:00:55,330 --> 01:00:57,821
"Yeah, I'm McLovin.
I'd like to buy some--"

1080
01:01:00,035 --> 01:01:01,627
Shit.

1081
01:01:01,837 --> 01:01:04,169
- ReWind, reWind.
- ReWind it. Yeah!

1082
01:01:04,373 --> 01:01:06,398
So hot. Let's see it again.

1083
01:01:08,877 --> 01:01:12,278
- Your legs lifted off the ground.
- That is bona fide badass, man.

1084
01:01:12,481 --> 01:01:14,847
You gotta keep that tape, McLovin.
It is badass.

1085
01:01:15,050 --> 01:01:16,312
- It really is.
- Really?

1086
01:01:16,518 --> 01:01:19,351
Well, don't you guys, like,
need it for, like, evidence or...?

1087
01:01:19,554 --> 01:01:22,717
The only thing that's evidence of
is you can take a hit like a champ.

1088
01:01:22,924 --> 01:01:24,619
Seriously. Take that.

1089
01:01:24,826 --> 01:01:29,422
Are there any ladies
We'd like to shoW this tape to?

1090
01:01:30,198 --> 01:01:33,725
No. You don't Wanna meet a chick
in a bar, man. Seriously.

1091
01:01:33,935 --> 01:01:36,563
That Was a turning point
in my life, When I realized that.

1092
01:01:36,772 --> 01:01:40,970
You gotta go to other places. You gotta
go to a spin class, a farmers' market...

1093
01:01:41,176 --> 01:01:43,872
...pumpkin patch,
given the time of year.

1094
01:01:44,079 --> 01:01:46,547
Just someWhere social,
non-threatening.

1095
01:01:46,748 --> 01:01:49,979
- You knoW, something like that.
- Yeah, I met the missus at paintball.

1096
01:01:50,185 --> 01:01:53,154
Yeah, I shot her in the neck.
And We just... .

1097
01:01:53,355 --> 01:01:55,220
And We just hit it off, you knoW.

1098
01:01:55,424 --> 01:01:58,860
My first Wife--
Who is a Whore, by the Way.

1099
01:01:59,061 --> 01:02:00,392
- Where do you think I met her?

1100
01:02:00,595 --> 01:02:03,428
A bar. A bar.

1101
01:02:03,632 --> 01:02:05,623
- It Was this bar.
- It Was this bar.

1102
01:02:05,834 --> 01:02:07,995
Yeah, it Was this bar.

1103
01:02:08,270 --> 01:02:11,967
Bought her a Binion's,
complimented her on her tote bag...

1104
01:02:12,174 --> 01:02:17,043
...and next thing I knoW, she's putting
her mouth around the tip of my penis.

1105
01:02:17,846 --> 01:02:19,871
You don't have to tell me that.

1106
01:02:20,082 --> 01:02:22,846
- Right in there.
- She opened up my World, sexually.

1107
01:02:23,051 --> 01:02:25,451
On our Wedding night,
We had group sex.

1108
01:02:25,654 --> 01:02:27,019
I Wasn't involved in it.

1109
01:02:27,222 --> 01:02:29,747
- But I could hear it through the Wall.
- I Was.

1110
01:02:29,958 --> 01:02:32,950
She Was amazing. And then it Was
exactly 23 months later...

1111
01:02:33,161 --> 01:02:35,186
...that I found out
she Was an actual Whore.

1112
01:02:35,397 --> 01:02:37,365
- We discovered her on the street.
- Yeah.

1113
01:02:37,566 --> 01:02:38,999
I'm sorry.

1114
01:02:39,201 --> 01:02:41,431
She Was bad.
Fucking Whoring bitch.

1115
01:02:41,636 --> 01:02:45,072
- But you got a neW Wife noW, so... .
- Yeah. Yeah.

1116
01:02:45,273 --> 01:02:47,571
And she is Wonderful.

1117
01:02:47,776 --> 01:02:49,744
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You'll meet her.

1118
01:02:49,945 --> 01:02:52,106
You knoW What?
I bet I knoW your trick, McLovin.

1119
01:02:52,314 --> 01:02:54,646
<i>- You play the Whole myst--
- Calling all units.</i>

1120
01:02:54,850 --> 01:02:56,477
Just turn that off.

1121
01:02:56,685 --> 01:02:59,677
<i>Send backup!
There's so much blood- -</i>

1122
01:02:59,888 --> 01:03:03,619
I bet you play the Whole
mysterious-guy thing, right?

1123
01:03:04,426 --> 01:03:07,623
Yeah, seriously.
HoW's it going With the ladies?

1124
01:03:07,896 --> 01:03:11,923
It's not the going With the ladies
I care about...

1125
01:03:12,134 --> 01:03:14,932
...it's the coming.

1126
01:03:16,805 --> 01:03:18,773
- I get it.
- What is it? What is it?

1127
01:03:18,974 --> 01:03:20,271
Like:

1128
01:03:20,475 --> 01:03:22,136
Like coming.

1129
01:03:25,013 --> 01:03:29,245
- That's funny. That is really funny.
- Oh, my God.

1130
01:03:34,256 --> 01:03:37,419
All right, looks like We got a call.
We can't pay for these.

1131
01:03:37,626 --> 01:03:38,923
10-4. We'll be right there.

1132
01:03:39,127 --> 01:03:41,755
- Speedy Gonzales, let's go.
- We should get road beers.

1133
01:03:42,297 --> 01:03:44,265
Hell, yeah,
We should get some road beers.

1134
01:03:44,466 --> 01:03:46,627
Can I have 13 beers to go, please?

1135
01:03:46,835 --> 01:03:50,066
Please. God, my fucking leg.

1136
01:04:06,321 --> 01:04:07,982
Fuck.

1137
01:04:34,217 --> 01:04:36,583
- I think it's him.
- Is it him?

1138
01:04:36,786 --> 01:04:38,048
<i>- Hello?
- Hey, Becca.</i>

1139
01:04:38,254 --> 01:04:41,951
Hi, I had a bad reception.
So about your Goldslick... .

1140
01:04:42,158 --> 01:04:44,854
- Guys, shut up.
- Hey, What's going on over there?

1141
01:04:45,061 --> 01:04:47,120
It's nothing. It's just--

1142
01:04:47,330 --> 01:04:50,197
I Was just calling, you knoW,
to see if you Were coming...

1143
01:04:50,399 --> 01:04:53,630
...because I thought maybe you Were
stuck at, like, a nightclub...

1144
01:04:53,836 --> 01:04:56,361
...or a cocktail party or something.

1145
01:04:56,572 --> 01:04:59,837
No, no, I'm gonna be there for sure.
Full throttle.

1146
01:05:00,042 --> 01:05:01,737
<i>- Charlie's Angels 2.
- Awesome.</i>

1147
01:05:03,646 --> 01:05:05,944
<i>- I can't wait to see you. Evan?
- Okay, bye.</i>

1148
01:05:06,148 --> 01:05:09,606
That Was the first time I ever did coke.
Off that bitch's nipple. That Was so--

1149
01:05:09,819 --> 01:05:11,548
- A little White sniff.
- That Was aWesome.

1150
01:05:11,754 --> 01:05:12,721
That Was gorgeous.

1151
01:05:12,922 --> 01:05:16,187
Hey, hey, hey.
You guys, stay in this room, man.

1152
01:05:16,392 --> 01:05:19,589
They're gonna kill that guy tonight.
That chick's boyfriend is pissed.

1153
01:05:19,795 --> 01:05:21,319
Yeah. He's a beast.

1154
01:05:21,530 --> 01:05:24,556
I've been praying for a fight.
I'm literally Waking up and praying...

1155
01:05:24,767 --> 01:05:26,701
...to see a fucking fight.
- Hey, hey, hey.

1156
01:05:28,938 --> 01:05:30,098
Who's that guy?

1157
01:05:35,144 --> 01:05:36,133
- Hi.
- Who is that guy?

1158
01:05:36,345 --> 01:05:38,370
- Who's this guy?
- Pleasure to see you fellas.

1159
01:05:38,581 --> 01:05:39,639
Hi, everyone.

1160
01:05:39,849 --> 01:05:41,510
- Who are you?
- I'm nobody.

1161
01:05:41,717 --> 01:05:43,275
No, no, no. I knoW you. I knoW you.

1162
01:05:43,486 --> 01:05:45,716
He Was at that party
I Was telling you about.

1163
01:05:45,922 --> 01:05:47,082
- No, no.
- Who is it?

1164
01:05:47,290 --> 01:05:50,418
Remember? He's Jimmy's brother.
The guy. The singer.

1165
01:05:50,860 --> 01:05:53,260
- No.
- He's the guy With the beautiful voice.

1166
01:05:53,462 --> 01:05:56,022
- The fucking singer, Jimmy's brother!
- That's not me, man.

1167
01:05:56,232 --> 01:05:57,961
- Oh, my God.
- Sing for us! Sing.

1168
01:05:58,167 --> 01:05:59,634
"It's not me"? You fucking lying?

1169
01:05:59,835 --> 01:06:02,929
No, I don't mean to accuse you guys
of being ill-informed, but--

1170
01:06:03,139 --> 01:06:05,505
My brother came from Scottsdale,
Arizona to be here.

1171
01:06:05,708 --> 01:06:07,073
You're not gonna sing for him?

1172
01:06:07,276 --> 01:06:08,436
- Fucking bullshit.
- Sing.

1173
01:06:08,644 --> 01:06:10,805
- You're a fucking singer.
- You sing good.

1174
01:06:11,013 --> 01:06:12,480
- Sing it again.
- Like a bird.

1175
01:06:12,682 --> 01:06:15,344
- No, I knoW, I just-- I Want to.
- You Want a line of cocaine?

1176
01:06:15,551 --> 01:06:16,643
- No Way, man.
- Yeah.

1177
01:06:16,852 --> 01:06:19,013
Don't make this Weird. Sing.

1178
01:06:19,221 --> 01:06:21,382
- Sing it again.
- Turbo.

1179
01:06:25,761 --> 01:06:27,786
- Fuck! Over!
- Okay, Watch this.

1180
01:06:27,997 --> 01:06:30,830
I'll get it right on the nose.

1181
01:06:31,033 --> 01:06:33,263
You're gonna fuck it up.
You're gonna fuck it up.

1182
01:06:33,469 --> 01:06:35,300
Under!

1183
01:06:35,504 --> 01:06:37,699
I feel hammered.
That doesn't make any sense.

1184
01:06:37,907 --> 01:06:40,501
- You're a fucking pussy.
- Okay, okay. Great, great.

1185
01:06:40,710 --> 01:06:44,168
- Okay, McLovin, see if you can do it.
- The kid's gonna nail it.

1186
01:06:44,380 --> 01:06:47,247
Come on, McLovin.
Do it, buddy. Come on, buddy!

1187
01:06:47,450 --> 01:06:50,044
- Bring it!
- 0.08, motherfuckers!

1188
01:06:50,252 --> 01:06:52,914
- Man!
- That's my boy!

1189
01:06:53,322 --> 01:06:55,256
- Yes!
- Beginner's luck. Beginner's luck.

1190
01:06:56,125 --> 01:06:58,923
So, What's it like to have guns?

1191
01:06:59,128 --> 01:07:01,824
It is aWesome, McLovin.

1192
01:07:02,031 --> 01:07:03,692
- I mean, it's mindbl--
- It's great.

1193
01:07:03,899 --> 01:07:06,629
I haven't had one for long,
a feW months, but I'll tell you...

1194
01:07:06,836 --> 01:07:08,599
...it's like having tWo cocks.
- Yup.

1195
01:07:08,804 --> 01:07:11,637
If one of your cocks
could kill someone.

1196
01:07:12,742 --> 01:07:15,302
- Can I hold one?
- What?

1197
01:07:15,511 --> 01:07:16,808
Can I hold one of your guns?

1198
01:07:20,082 --> 01:07:23,142
- Yeah, sure.
- Fine With me. Why not?

1199
01:07:23,352 --> 01:07:25,650
Everyone should hold a gun
at least a couple times.

1200
01:07:25,855 --> 01:07:27,288
Yeah, there you go.

1201
01:07:27,490 --> 01:07:29,822
- Have a blast.
- "Have a blast."

1202
01:07:30,026 --> 01:07:34,190
- That's funny.
- I've never held one of these before.

1203
01:07:34,397 --> 01:07:37,127
- Are they hard to shoot?
- Lf you're Michaels, they are.

1204
01:07:37,333 --> 01:07:39,028
- He can't shoot Worth dick.
- What?

1205
01:07:39,235 --> 01:07:40,725
I can shoot. What are you--? Wait.

1206
01:07:40,936 --> 01:07:43,234
- I can't shoot Worth dick?
- You cannot shoot.

1207
01:07:43,439 --> 01:07:45,873
- I shot that cat last Week.
- It Was already dead, man.

1208
01:07:46,075 --> 01:07:47,633
- I still shot it.
- That cat Was dead.

1209
01:07:47,843 --> 01:07:49,708
There's only one Way
to settle this, guys.

1210
01:07:50,279 --> 01:07:51,769
- Shoot-off.
- Shoot-off.

1211
01:07:51,981 --> 01:07:54,814
- Shoot-off!
- Shoot-off!

1212
01:07:55,017 --> 01:07:56,712
There's a lot of reasons
Why I like you.

1213
01:07:56,919 --> 01:07:59,217
I mean, you're handsome
and you're a good friend.

1214
01:07:59,422 --> 01:08:03,449
Dude, there he is. That's the guy.
Hey, Mark, right there.

1215
01:08:05,361 --> 01:08:06,385
Oh, you got a stain too.

1216
01:08:08,230 --> 01:08:10,391
- We're blood brothers.
- Shut the fuck up.

1217
01:08:10,599 --> 01:08:13,124
You're in my house,
you ansWer my questions.

1218
01:08:13,335 --> 01:08:15,235
What Were you doing
dancing With Jacinda?

1219
01:08:17,940 --> 01:08:19,202
I don't even dance. I just--

1220
01:08:19,408 --> 01:08:21,933
I don't even dance ever, so--
I've never even tried it.

1221
01:08:22,144 --> 01:08:24,806
Then Where the hell did this
come from, asshole?

1222
01:08:26,282 --> 01:08:28,807
Maybe you and I rubbed up against
each other at some point.

1223
01:08:29,018 --> 01:08:31,987
I don't remember. Maybe it Was
some ricochet scenario. I don't knoW.

1224
01:08:32,188 --> 01:08:34,213
- HoW am I supposed to knoW?
- Kick his ass, Mark.

1225
01:08:34,423 --> 01:08:36,186
Shut the fuck up, Scarlett.

1226
01:08:37,059 --> 01:08:39,755
Where do you get off
dancing With my fianc�e?

1227
01:08:48,204 --> 01:08:49,262
To some girl.

1228
01:09:02,652 --> 01:09:03,983
Talk about the hurting.

1229
01:09:14,231 --> 01:09:15,664
- Shit.
- All right.

1230
01:09:38,655 --> 01:09:40,316
- Yo! Fight!
- Move it!

1231
01:09:40,524 --> 01:09:42,253
- Go, check this out!
- Oh, fuck!

1232
01:09:42,459 --> 01:09:44,427
And What the hell is this?

1233
01:09:44,928 --> 01:09:48,227
- I don't fucking-- It's detergent.
- Yeah, What are you doing With it?

1234
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:53,026
I got fucking blood on my pants.

1235
01:09:53,236 --> 01:09:54,760
Get doWn.

1236
01:09:56,773 --> 01:09:59,207
What the fuck is this all about, man?
Are you--?

1237
01:10:00,243 --> 01:10:03,576
- Well, fuck me.
- Fellas.

1238
01:10:04,147 --> 01:10:07,116
Oh, shit,
I've been tackled by little girls!

1239
01:10:07,317 --> 01:10:08,409
You die! You're next!

1240
01:10:11,154 --> 01:10:15,921
I should fucking kill you,
you motherfucker!

1241
01:10:16,126 --> 01:10:20,085
- Hold him, Jimmy's brother! Hold him!
- What do you mean? No. No Way!

1242
01:10:20,297 --> 01:10:22,026
- You humiliated me!
- I'm sorry!

1243
01:10:22,232 --> 01:10:25,793
- You used my leg as a tampon!
- I'm calling the cops.

1244
01:10:26,002 --> 01:10:30,701
Evan! Come on! Move!

1245
01:10:30,941 --> 01:10:33,569
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

1246
01:10:33,777 --> 01:10:37,941
Yeah. Fifth and PaysvieW. Hurry.

1247
01:10:38,148 --> 01:10:40,878
Mark, I called the cops.
You should hide your gun.

1248
01:10:41,117 --> 01:10:42,709
You're a fucking pussy.

1249
01:10:42,919 --> 01:10:44,147
Don't listen to him, officer.

1250
01:10:44,354 --> 01:10:46,788
If you make this,
We're no longer friends, Michaels.

1251
01:10:47,023 --> 01:10:49,423
- You're a fucking pussy.
- Cheating. You're cheating.

1252
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:55,224
- Fuck me.
- Oh, suck on my nuts, Slater!

1253
01:10:55,432 --> 01:10:57,263
All right, you--
That Was a lucky shot.

1254
01:10:57,467 --> 01:11:00,630
- That Was a lucky shot.
- I rule.

1255
01:11:00,837 --> 01:11:02,065
I got jizzed on. All right.

1256
01:11:02,305 --> 01:11:04,330
- Can I shoot one?
- Yeah, go nuts. Go nuts.

1257
01:11:04,541 --> 01:11:06,008
Have a good time, man.

1258
01:11:06,209 --> 01:11:09,110
Empty the clip.
Empty the clip on it, man. Shit!

1259
01:11:09,312 --> 01:11:13,271
The cops! Bail! Bail! Bail!
Shotgun, shotgun! Damn it!

1260
01:11:14,718 --> 01:11:16,083
Shotgun.

1261
01:11:25,495 --> 01:11:28,055
- What a rush.
- What do you guys Wanna do?

1262
01:11:28,265 --> 01:11:30,699
- Man, let's get drunk!
- Let's get more fucked up!

1263
01:11:30,900 --> 01:11:32,993
You're fucking living the dream,
Michaels!

1264
01:11:33,203 --> 01:11:34,170
Oh, man.

1265
01:11:34,371 --> 01:11:36,100
This is gonna be the best night ever.

1266
01:11:36,306 --> 01:11:38,740
<i>- Got a 257 at Fifth and Paysview.
- Shit.</i>

1267
01:11:38,942 --> 01:11:41,308
<i>All units in the area report
to Fifth and Paysview.</i>

1268
01:11:41,511 --> 01:11:43,809
<i>- Car 98, that's you. Do it.
- Fuck.</i>

1269
01:11:44,014 --> 01:11:46,073
- Shit.
- Shit.

1270
01:11:46,283 --> 01:11:49,548
Car 98 on it.
You dumb fucking Whore.

1271
01:11:49,753 --> 01:11:52,745
Hey, did she say We're gonna get
to shoot somebody or something?

1272
01:11:52,956 --> 01:11:54,253
Oh, God, I Wish.

1273
01:11:54,491 --> 01:11:57,858
It's probably some lame house party.
We'll drop you off after. Cool?

1274
01:11:58,094 --> 01:12:00,358
Yeah, man.
Let's shoW these fuckers hoW We roll!

1275
01:12:15,045 --> 01:12:18,674
- You fucking prick.
- What?

1276
01:12:21,618 --> 01:12:25,554
- You bailed on me.
- I didn't bail on you.

1277
01:12:25,755 --> 01:12:27,814
Yeah, you did.

1278
01:12:28,024 --> 01:12:30,857
You said you Were gonna
do something and you didn't do it.

1279
01:12:31,061 --> 01:12:32,187
That's bailing.

1280
01:12:32,395 --> 01:12:35,626
You're the one that dragged me to
that fucking party With those lunatics.

1281
01:12:35,832 --> 01:12:40,792
- I didn't bail on you.
- You bailed on me, okay?

1282
01:12:41,004 --> 01:12:43,404
You bailed on me this morning
When Jesse spat on me...

1283
01:12:43,606 --> 01:12:45,233
...and you're bailing on me
next year.

1284
01:12:45,442 --> 01:12:48,502
What the fuck? It finally comes out.
That's good, man.

1285
01:12:48,712 --> 01:12:50,646
We Were supposed to go
to college together.

1286
01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:52,939
Since We Were kids,
since elementary school...

1287
01:12:53,149 --> 01:12:55,583
...that's all We've ever talked about,
us going together.

1288
01:12:55,785 --> 01:12:57,412
And you got into
fucking Dartmouth.

1289
01:12:57,620 --> 01:12:59,611
You're making me feel
like I'm a bad guy.

1290
01:12:59,823 --> 01:13:02,758
What--? I didn't do anything Wrong.
I got into a good school.

1291
01:13:03,526 --> 01:13:06,689
HoW the fuck am I supposed to get
into Dartmouth? You kneW I couldn't.

1292
01:13:06,930 --> 01:13:08,397
HoW fucking selfish are you?

1293
01:13:08,598 --> 01:13:10,624
You had no problem letting Fogell
take the fall.

1294
01:13:10,835 --> 01:13:12,803
You don't Want me going
to a good school.

1295
01:13:13,003 --> 01:13:14,994
- Fuck, man!
- So, What the fuck do you Want?

1296
01:13:15,206 --> 01:13:17,731
I'm not gonna let you
sloW me doWn anymore, Seth.

1297
01:13:20,911 --> 01:13:21,969
What are you saying?

1298
01:13:22,713 --> 01:13:26,410
I've Wasted the last three years
sitting around talking bullshit With you.

1299
01:13:26,617 --> 01:13:28,585
Instead of chasing girls
and making friends...

1300
01:13:28,786 --> 01:13:31,778
...l've just sat around
Wasting all my time With you.

1301
01:13:31,989 --> 01:13:34,583
And noW I'm going to college
a fucking friendless virgin.

1302
01:13:34,825 --> 01:13:38,283
Is this about Becca?
This is about some girl, man?

1303
01:13:38,496 --> 01:13:39,929
- I like her!
- Who gives a fuck?

1304
01:13:40,131 --> 01:13:42,292
She's some fucking girl!
You gonna go out With her?

1305
01:13:42,500 --> 01:13:44,991
- What about after that?
- Fuck you, you're a piece of shit.

1306
01:13:45,503 --> 01:13:48,267
Fuck you! And next time
you're pissed off about something...

1307
01:13:48,472 --> 01:13:51,305
...don't keep it inside for 10 years,
say it like a fucking man!

1308
01:13:51,509 --> 01:13:52,476
- Don't touch me.
- Fuck you!

1309
01:13:55,012 --> 01:13:57,947
Hey, McLovin, are the numbers
on your side odd or even?

1310
01:13:58,149 --> 01:14:01,880
- I don't knoW. It's too dark to see.
- We got flashlights.

1311
01:14:02,086 --> 01:14:03,849
Oh, that's true.

1312
01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:11,425
Where the fuck are We?

1313
01:14:12,296 --> 01:14:14,264
- Hey, Slater.
- What's that?

1314
01:14:14,498 --> 01:14:16,227
Slater.

1315
01:14:19,637 --> 01:14:23,266
NoW, young Michaels, you Will die.

1316
01:14:24,842 --> 01:14:28,175
All right. Come on, stop it.
I can't fucking see. I can't see. Fuck it.

1317
01:14:28,379 --> 01:14:30,176
- Like it?
- Hey, fuck off, that hurts.

1318
01:14:30,381 --> 01:14:32,110
- You stop first.
- Not until you stop.

1319
01:14:32,316 --> 01:14:33,943
- Stop it, asshole.
- Hey, you stop.

1320
01:14:35,019 --> 01:14:37,044
- Fuck you, Evan!
- Don't fucking touch me.

1321
01:14:48,966 --> 01:14:50,058
Why did you do that?

1322
01:14:50,267 --> 01:14:52,428
- You shined the light in my face.
- You did too.

1323
01:14:52,636 --> 01:14:54,661
- I'm driving.
- We Were playing Lightsabers.

1324
01:14:54,872 --> 01:14:56,897
- Excuse me.
- Oh, my God.

1325
01:14:57,107 --> 01:14:59,507
Are you guys gonna make sure
he's okay?

1326
01:15:02,746 --> 01:15:04,008
- Check on him.
- You check.

1327
01:15:04,215 --> 01:15:07,673
- You go out there and check on him.
- Fuck that. You go.

1328
01:15:07,885 --> 01:15:12,219
Balls. Okay, We'll both go out there
and check on him.

1329
01:15:13,691 --> 01:15:16,558
I can't believe this is happening again.
What are the odds?

1330
01:15:17,094 --> 01:15:18,721
Fuck.

1331
01:15:22,733 --> 01:15:26,430
- Is everyone okay?
- Yeah, We're great, thanks.

1332
01:15:26,637 --> 01:15:31,097
Hey, hey, Where's the love?

1333
01:15:31,308 --> 01:15:35,768
- He's okay. He's fine.
- Stand right next to your friend.

1334
01:15:35,980 --> 01:15:37,811
- Get over there.
- I got them.

1335
01:15:38,015 --> 01:15:39,346
You got these guys?

1336
01:15:46,190 --> 01:15:48,055
You boys doing
a bit of drinking tonight?

1337
01:15:48,259 --> 01:15:52,389
- No, officer. Not at all. Not-- We--
- We found those.

1338
01:15:52,596 --> 01:15:53,722
I don't believe you.

1339
01:15:57,401 --> 01:15:59,562
Freeze. Stand right there.

1340
01:15:59,770 --> 01:16:01,829
- We're telling the truth.
- Keep it going.

1341
01:16:02,039 --> 01:16:04,371
- Don't be a hero tonight, guys.
- Wrong night for that.

1342
01:16:04,575 --> 01:16:06,133
You gotta fucking take care of this.

1343
01:16:06,343 --> 01:16:10,404
No. Look, I am not fixing your mistakes
again, okay? Fuck that shit.

1344
01:16:10,614 --> 01:16:12,912
I don't Wanna get shitcanned.
I like this job.

1345
01:16:13,117 --> 01:16:15,381
Me too. I get free haircuts.
I'm not taking the fall.

1346
01:16:15,586 --> 01:16:17,213
Okay, okay!

1347
01:16:18,222 --> 01:16:20,383
We're gonna arrest
these tWo little dipshits, okay?

1348
01:16:20,591 --> 01:16:22,320
And We're gonna pin it on them.

1349
01:16:22,993 --> 01:16:24,460
Yeah, do What you have to do.

1350
01:16:30,935 --> 01:16:31,993
Spread your shit!

1351
01:16:32,202 --> 01:16:35,228
Get on the ground!
Loaded gun, ready to go!

1352
01:16:35,439 --> 01:16:38,033
Spread your shit!
Pussies on the pavement, fellas.

1353
01:16:38,242 --> 01:16:40,437
- Come on!
- Please don't shoot, sir.

1354
01:16:40,644 --> 01:16:43,238
"Please don't shoot."
Shut up and spread your shit!

1355
01:16:44,815 --> 01:16:47,716
I am the laW! Okay?

1356
01:16:47,918 --> 01:16:49,044
NoW hold hands.

1357
01:16:49,253 --> 01:16:50,652
- What?
- Why?

1358
01:16:50,854 --> 01:16:54,449
You don't Want an asshole Where your
face used to be, Whaling Jennings.

1359
01:16:54,658 --> 01:16:57,058
- Hold his fucking hand!
- Fucking hold my hand.

1360
01:16:57,261 --> 01:16:59,627
There. That's not so hard, is it?

1361
01:16:59,830 --> 01:17:02,264
Here, McLovin, have a cigarette.

1362
01:17:03,500 --> 01:17:05,263
Smoke up. Life's short, you knoW.

1363
01:17:06,036 --> 01:17:08,027
Suck it in, my friend.

1364
01:17:08,238 --> 01:17:10,798
Suck it long and deep.

1365
01:17:11,008 --> 01:17:12,498
Enjoy it.

1366
01:17:13,110 --> 01:17:15,670
McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.

1367
01:17:17,147 --> 01:17:22,380
- You like Officer Slater and myself?
- Yeah, you guys are aWesome.

1368
01:17:22,586 --> 01:17:25,714
Thanks.
We really like you too, McLovin.

1369
01:17:25,923 --> 01:17:27,481
So here's What's about to happen.

1370
01:17:27,691 --> 01:17:29,125
We're gonna arrest these guys...

1371
01:17:29,327 --> 01:17:32,888
...you're gonna Write a Witness report
saying they leapt in front of our car...

1372
01:17:33,098 --> 01:17:35,430
...and there Was nothing We could do.
Sound cool?

1373
01:17:36,701 --> 01:17:39,602
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Good.

1374
01:17:39,804 --> 01:17:42,102
That's good.
Pretend he's your little sister.

1375
01:17:42,307 --> 01:17:44,298
Your little sister With the... .

1376
01:17:55,186 --> 01:17:56,210
What the fuck?

1377
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:10,124
Fagell?

1378
01:18:19,444 --> 01:18:21,435
- Shit!
- Shit!

1379
01:18:25,450 --> 01:18:26,815
Run! Run!

1380
01:18:27,018 --> 01:18:28,246
Wait.

1381
01:18:28,453 --> 01:18:31,854
Hold on, I gotta get all the booze.
Seth, Wait up!

1382
01:18:32,057 --> 01:18:33,718
McLovin bailed!

1383
01:18:33,925 --> 01:18:35,984
Chase the kid!

1384
01:18:43,601 --> 01:18:44,693
Stop!

1385
01:19:05,623 --> 01:19:07,750
That Was a fast kid.

1386
01:19:10,428 --> 01:19:14,865
I Want a ride! You hear me?
You can't unarrest me!

1387
01:19:17,368 --> 01:19:18,858
Stop!

1388
01:19:21,005 --> 01:19:24,907
- McLovin!
- Come on.

1389
01:19:26,878 --> 01:19:28,038
McLovin!

1390
01:19:28,780 --> 01:19:31,544
McLovin! Why?

1391
01:19:33,485 --> 01:19:34,543
McLovin, come back!

1392
01:19:36,454 --> 01:19:41,448
My hand! Monster!
Nicole! Nicole, get Daddy.

1393
01:19:41,659 --> 01:19:44,150
- Get Daddy.
- Get Daddy!

1394
01:19:44,362 --> 01:19:46,956
- Oh, shit.
- Get aWay from my kids!

1395
01:19:50,268 --> 01:19:52,429
You sick sons of bitches!

1396
01:19:55,440 --> 01:19:56,930
What the fuck?

1397
01:20:02,714 --> 01:20:05,148
Michaels, are you okay?

1398
01:20:05,383 --> 01:20:07,146
- It's just beer.
- Give me a break.

1399
01:20:07,352 --> 01:20:08,944
- It's just beer.
- Man up.

1400
01:20:09,154 --> 01:20:10,746
What happened?
What, did you lose him?

1401
01:20:10,955 --> 01:20:13,719
He's a freak.
He's the fastest kid alive.

1402
01:20:13,925 --> 01:20:16,450
- This is not good.
- He's the fastest kid alive.

1403
01:20:16,694 --> 01:20:19,720
Fastest kid alive, my ass. Come on.
What are We gonna do?

1404
01:20:20,031 --> 01:20:21,931
I'll shoot my gun in the air.

1405
01:20:22,167 --> 01:20:24,101
Give me a fucking Warning
before you do it.

1406
01:20:24,302 --> 01:20:26,270
I'll scare him out of Wherever
he's hiding.

1407
01:20:26,471 --> 01:20:29,133
This isn't gonna do shit.
Get in the car. Get in the car.

1408
01:20:29,340 --> 01:20:31,171
This is your fault, you piece of--

1409
01:20:31,709 --> 01:20:34,109
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
They shot Seth.

1410
01:20:34,312 --> 01:20:36,439
They fucking shot Seth, I knoW it.

1411
01:20:37,182 --> 01:20:38,410
Holy shit.

1412
01:20:38,616 --> 01:20:39,605
Holy shit. Holy shit.

1413
01:20:41,219 --> 01:20:42,311
- Should I run?
- Yes.

1414
01:20:47,058 --> 01:20:49,151
- Fuck. Stop!
- Stop the bus!

1415
01:20:49,360 --> 01:20:50,793
- Stop it!
- It's stopping.

1416
01:20:50,995 --> 01:20:53,156
- It's stopping.
- Oh, thank God.

1417
01:20:55,934 --> 01:20:58,164
Hey, Evan, pay for me, please.

1418
01:21:00,538 --> 01:21:01,505
That's me and him.

1419
01:21:02,607 --> 01:21:06,134
Hey, hey. It's you.

1420
01:21:06,344 --> 01:21:07,572
McMuffin.

1421
01:21:07,979 --> 01:21:09,344
- You knoW this guy?
- It's--

1422
01:21:09,547 --> 01:21:13,574
Ain't got no cop people to help you
keep your booze noW, do you?

1423
01:21:13,785 --> 01:21:17,118
Hey! Back the fuck up, man,
or I'll beat the shit out of you.

1424
01:21:17,322 --> 01:21:19,381
<i>- Give me the booze.
- Hey! Back the fuck up.</i>

1425
01:21:19,591 --> 01:21:22,788
<i>Back the fuck up. Back the fuck up.</i>

1426
01:21:22,994 --> 01:21:24,655
Please, please, calm doWn, sir.

1427
01:21:33,838 --> 01:21:39,174
Goldslick.

1428
01:21:50,623 --> 01:21:52,716
Get off the bus
or I'm calling the cops.

1429
01:21:59,431 --> 01:22:01,490
Eat shit, bum.

1430
01:22:01,867 --> 01:22:03,960
Oh, shit, guys.
We're three blocks aWay, man.

1431
01:22:04,169 --> 01:22:06,569
We made it. We made it
With the booze and everything.

1432
01:22:06,772 --> 01:22:08,103
We made it.

1433
01:22:08,307 --> 01:22:09,740
Hold this.

1434
01:22:10,476 --> 01:22:13,001
I can't believe
you still have the liquor.

1435
01:22:14,046 --> 01:22:15,104
It's aWesome.

1436
01:22:15,314 --> 01:22:18,374
Yeah, I told you the idea Would Work.
I fooled those cops.

1437
01:22:18,617 --> 01:22:21,586
I'm McLovin. I am McLovin.

1438
01:22:23,455 --> 01:22:24,854
Why do you guys have detergent?

1439
01:22:25,057 --> 01:22:28,026
I don't understand Why you Were
smoking cigarettes With those cops.

1440
01:22:28,227 --> 01:22:29,854
Because I fucking rule.

1441
01:22:30,062 --> 01:22:33,361
- We are so gonna get laid tonight.
- I am. I'm gonna get laid.

1442
01:22:33,565 --> 01:22:35,965
We're finally gonna
get our drinks on.

1443
01:22:38,137 --> 01:22:39,832
I can't believe Becca's bottle broke.

1444
01:22:40,039 --> 01:22:41,404
- I'm sure it'll be fine.
- Yeah.

1445
01:22:41,607 --> 01:22:44,508
I thought you didn't need it.
You Were gonna tell her hoW you feel.

1446
01:22:44,710 --> 01:22:47,235
Good luck getting Jules drunk enough
to have sex With you.

1447
01:22:47,446 --> 01:22:49,380
- What's Wrong With you guys?
- Nothing.

1448
01:22:49,581 --> 01:22:52,744
You tWo femmes can talk about it
next year at your little slumber party.

1449
01:22:52,952 --> 01:22:54,647
Oh, you told him.

1450
01:22:54,853 --> 01:22:57,481
- Told me What?
- Yeah. You're an idiot, Fogell.

1451
01:22:57,690 --> 01:22:59,487
- Well, We gotta tell him noW.
- No, We--

1452
01:22:59,692 --> 01:23:01,159
Well, he knoWs something's up.

1453
01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:03,657
What are you guys talking about?
Tell me noW.

1454
01:23:03,896 --> 01:23:06,057
Seth, me and Evan are
rooming together next year.

1455
01:23:06,265 --> 01:23:07,254
What's the big deal?

1456
01:23:07,466 --> 01:23:09,400
"Oh, my God,
Fogell's rooming With Evan."

1457
01:23:09,601 --> 01:23:11,296
Jeez, Why don't you go cry about it?

1458
01:23:11,503 --> 01:23:13,937
- I didn't tell you because--
- You're a backstabber...

1459
01:23:14,139 --> 01:23:17,370
...and you lied to your best friend
and you just don't care anymore?

1460
01:23:17,576 --> 01:23:19,771
I didn't expect this from you, Evan.

1461
01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:21,405
Not from you.

1462
01:23:21,613 --> 01:23:23,808
Give me that booze, Fagell.

1463
01:23:27,386 --> 01:23:30,355
We never should have had to hide
our arrangement.

1464
01:23:40,532 --> 01:23:42,864
- Seth's here.
- Seth, you're here.

1465
01:23:43,068 --> 01:23:46,799
Hi. Everybody, Seth has got it.

1466
01:24:10,062 --> 01:24:12,189
- Evan.
- Gaby, hey.

1467
01:24:12,398 --> 01:24:14,263
Where have you been?
You almost bleW it.

1468
01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:16,991
- What are you talking about?
- Becca. She's been Waiting.

1469
01:24:17,202 --> 01:24:18,499
She's over there.

1470
01:24:19,371 --> 01:24:20,668
She's Way smashed.

1471
01:24:20,873 --> 01:24:23,171
And she's been yammering
about you all night.

1472
01:24:23,375 --> 01:24:25,172
Really? What Was she saying?

1473
01:24:25,377 --> 01:24:27,470
She told you that she thinks
I'm a good guy?

1474
01:24:27,679 --> 01:24:30,239
No, no.
She said something more like:

1475
01:24:30,449 --> 01:24:32,974
"I Will fully bloW him tonight."

1476
01:24:33,218 --> 01:24:35,550
- What?
- I knoW.

1477
01:24:38,991 --> 01:24:41,221
- Yeah.
- But she's totally hammered...

1478
01:24:41,427 --> 01:24:44,328
...and if I get With her
and I'm not drunk, isn't that unethical?

1479
01:24:45,164 --> 01:24:46,563
Not if you're drunk too.

1480
01:24:47,900 --> 01:24:49,265
I guess not.

1481
01:24:49,468 --> 01:24:50,799
To Seth.

1482
01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:53,198
- To Seth!
- All right.

1483
01:24:53,405 --> 01:24:55,270
Who the fuck is Seth?

1484
01:24:55,474 --> 01:24:57,169
I'm Seth!

1485
01:24:58,877 --> 01:25:01,107
Let's do another one to me.

1486
01:25:12,157 --> 01:25:13,749
Oh, boy.

1487
01:25:14,493 --> 01:25:16,552
Calm doWn. Calm doWn, man.

1488
01:25:16,762 --> 01:25:18,821
Calm doWn. She likes you.

1489
01:25:19,198 --> 01:25:21,428
She Wants to suck on your penis.

1490
01:25:21,667 --> 01:25:23,294
It's a good thing.

1491
01:25:23,502 --> 01:25:27,165
It's the best thing.

1492
01:25:27,973 --> 01:25:29,634
Just doWn the hatch.

1493
01:25:57,469 --> 01:25:59,369
Fogell. What's up?

1494
01:26:46,352 --> 01:26:48,650
Evan, hey. Evie, come here.

1495
01:26:48,855 --> 01:26:50,254
Can you please help me up?

1496
01:26:50,456 --> 01:26:54,017
I fell doWn and none of these assholes
Will help me up.

1497
01:26:54,227 --> 01:26:56,787
- Shit.
- Becca.

1498
01:26:56,996 --> 01:26:59,089
I have been Waiting for you
for, like, ever.

1499
01:26:59,299 --> 01:27:01,267
- What took you so long?
- I knoW, it--

1500
01:27:01,467 --> 01:27:03,901
- Do you have my Goldslick?
- No, I can't even--

1501
01:27:04,103 --> 01:27:05,764
It's such a crazy story, okay?

1502
01:27:05,972 --> 01:27:09,271
- I sWear I Was try--
- It doesn't even matter.

1503
01:27:09,475 --> 01:27:11,966
Look. Look What We--
We can just drink this.

1504
01:27:12,178 --> 01:27:14,442
- Here. You could have a drink.
- Oh, no.

1505
01:27:14,647 --> 01:27:16,638
- I'm already pretty Wasted.
- Take a drink.

1506
01:27:16,849 --> 01:27:19,215
Okay, here's to you.
This is to Becca.

1507
01:27:19,419 --> 01:27:20,511
To Becca.

1508
01:27:20,720 --> 01:27:23,052
- To the respecting--
- Guys.

1509
01:27:23,256 --> 01:27:26,316
- Women.
To people respecting Women.

1510
01:27:26,526 --> 01:27:29,518
Okay. Yeah.

1511
01:27:31,965 --> 01:27:33,193
You're a lightWeight.

1512
01:27:34,567 --> 01:27:35,932
Hey.

1513
01:27:36,970 --> 01:27:40,235
You and me,
We should go upstairs, because--

1514
01:27:40,440 --> 01:27:44,570
Because I need to
tell you something. Okay?

1515
01:27:45,144 --> 01:27:47,305
You could just tell me here,
I mean... .

1516
01:27:47,513 --> 01:27:52,246
I can't tell you, because
it's a secret for you from me.

1517
01:27:52,452 --> 01:27:54,511
- All right.
- So come. Come on. Okay.

1518
01:27:54,721 --> 01:27:55,881
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.

1519
01:27:56,089 --> 01:27:58,284
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

1520
01:28:03,730 --> 01:28:06,995
You changed your name
to McLovin?

1521
01:28:08,868 --> 01:28:11,496
- That's so cool.
- Thanks.

1522
01:28:11,704 --> 01:28:15,572
So, like, What's HaWaii like?

1523
01:28:16,242 --> 01:28:17,607
All right. I am back.

1524
01:28:17,810 --> 01:28:20,074
I had to thank the peeps
for coming out, you knoW.

1525
01:28:20,280 --> 01:28:22,771
Jules. I Want you
to have a drink With me.

1526
01:28:22,982 --> 01:28:25,348
Just drink some of this.
You're gonna love it.

1527
01:28:25,551 --> 01:28:27,348
You're to--
I knoW you're gonna love it.

1528
01:28:27,553 --> 01:28:31,114
- You knoW, l--
- It's green beer. For your information.

1529
01:28:31,324 --> 01:28:33,952
You knoW, I'm actually good
right noW. But thank you.

1530
01:28:34,427 --> 01:28:37,658
And thank you very much
for bringing everything, again.

1531
01:28:37,864 --> 01:28:39,491
Seriously, it really made the night.

1532
01:28:39,699 --> 01:28:42,463
No, that's hoW I roll.
That's the thing.

1533
01:28:42,669 --> 01:28:45,502
It's no problems. You'll learn that.

1534
01:28:51,311 --> 01:28:55,941
I love talking
and conversing With you.

1535
01:28:56,149 --> 01:28:59,141
But I can't hear you, though,
because the music is so loud.

1536
01:28:59,352 --> 01:29:02,515
So do you Wanna go outside
and talk more?

1537
01:29:05,391 --> 01:29:08,019
Yeah. Sorry, sure.
You knoW, Why not?

1538
01:29:08,227 --> 01:29:10,195
Let's do it.
I haven't conversed in ages.

1539
01:29:10,396 --> 01:29:13,854
- Okay. Ladies-- Ladies first.
- Okay.

1540
01:29:14,934 --> 01:29:16,902
- Thank you very much.
- No problem.

1541
01:29:17,103 --> 01:29:19,503
- Watch your step. I fell earlier today.
- You serious?

1542
01:29:19,706 --> 01:29:21,799
Well, I Was hit by a car.
It's a long story.

1543
01:29:22,375 --> 01:29:26,106
- Oh, shit. Careful.
- Okay, Well... .

1544
01:29:27,213 --> 01:29:30,410
So loud. Don't let the parents hear.

1545
01:29:31,050 --> 01:29:32,915
You look so pretty.

1546
01:29:36,222 --> 01:29:40,420
- Are you okay?
- I so flirt With you in math.

1547
01:29:40,626 --> 01:29:42,753
Tell me about it. L-- Samesies.

1548
01:29:42,962 --> 01:29:48,491
I've Wanted to tell you for so long
that you're the best girl.

1549
01:29:48,701 --> 01:29:53,604
I knoW. I've Wanted to get With you,
like, so hard.

1550
01:29:55,208 --> 01:29:57,540
Like so hard.

1551
01:30:03,483 --> 01:30:05,383
You're the best.

1552
01:30:05,585 --> 01:30:09,112
We'll take this sWeater off. I think so.

1553
01:30:09,322 --> 01:30:12,553
Just be careful, because it's a
meaningful sWeater to me. It's vintage.

1554
01:30:12,759 --> 01:30:13,817
Okay.

1555
01:30:14,560 --> 01:30:17,427
- Bought it at that vintage market.
- Just hurry.

1556
01:30:17,930 --> 01:30:20,455
- And this one.
- It's off.

1557
01:30:20,666 --> 01:30:22,759
Hey, Wait, careful.

1558
01:30:23,936 --> 01:30:25,461
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my.

1559
01:30:25,672 --> 01:30:26,866
Put that there.

1560
01:30:27,074 --> 01:30:28,769
- NoW, looky, looky...
- Okay.

1561
01:30:28,976 --> 01:30:31,536
...What I got for you under here.
- Oh, my gosh.

1562
01:30:31,745 --> 01:30:33,542
You are the prettiest girl...

1563
01:30:33,747 --> 01:30:36,648
...this side of the Mississippi.
- I have a little something...

1564
01:30:36,850 --> 01:30:39,717
...for you under here.

1565
01:30:39,920 --> 01:30:40,944
You look so pretty.

1566
01:30:41,422 --> 01:30:43,720
- Look so pretty.
- Under there.

1567
01:30:43,924 --> 01:30:45,755
Hello.

1568
01:30:47,027 --> 01:30:49,052
For you.

1569
01:30:53,667 --> 01:30:58,104
You're the best. You're so unique.

1570
01:30:58,305 --> 01:30:59,772
Come here.

1571
01:30:59,973 --> 01:31:02,305
Evan, kiss me.

1572
01:31:02,643 --> 01:31:04,440
I like you so much.

1573
01:31:05,512 --> 01:31:07,377
Come on, McLovin.

1574
01:31:07,581 --> 01:31:09,412
I've never been
With an older guy before.

1575
01:31:09,616 --> 01:31:12,949
Well, it's Way better.

1576
01:31:13,153 --> 01:31:15,348
I knoW, We made some
kick-ass tiramisu earlier.

1577
01:31:15,556 --> 01:31:19,083
It Was deli-- It looked Weird.
But it Was delicious.

1578
01:31:23,597 --> 01:31:26,794
What--? What's Wrong?

1579
01:31:27,434 --> 01:31:31,029
L-- I Would prefer
if We Would just do that...

1580
01:31:31,238 --> 01:31:34,765
...at some other time.

1581
01:31:34,975 --> 01:31:38,035
No. There is no other time.
School is up.

1582
01:31:38,245 --> 01:31:42,511
- What's Wrong With right noW?
- Well, I mean, you're-- You're drunk.

1583
01:31:43,217 --> 01:31:47,119
- You're, like, really, really drunk.
- So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules.

1584
01:31:47,321 --> 01:31:50,290
Yeah, I'm actually--
I'm not drunk at all.

1585
01:31:50,491 --> 01:31:53,051
I don't even drink, so it's... .
I mean... .

1586
01:31:54,294 --> 01:31:57,354
Jules, you drink. You drink.

1587
01:31:57,564 --> 01:32:00,397
Everybody-- You--
You had me get liquor, so you drink.

1588
01:32:00,601 --> 01:32:01,625
It's like... .

1589
01:32:01,835 --> 01:32:05,168
Well, yeah, because
I'm throWing a party, remember?

1590
01:32:05,372 --> 01:32:06,964
Other people drink
and so I just... .

1591
01:32:07,174 --> 01:32:08,664
You...?

1592
01:32:10,043 --> 01:32:13,376
You don't Wanna, you knoW?

1593
01:32:15,182 --> 01:32:18,117
Not right noW.

1594
01:32:18,318 --> 01:32:21,378
You knoW, not While you're drunk.

1595
01:32:22,022 --> 01:32:24,013
But, you knoW, thank you.

1596
01:32:29,363 --> 01:32:33,891
- Evan. Evan, I'm so Wet.
- Oh, yeah.

1597
01:32:34,101 --> 01:32:37,400
They said that Would happen
in health, When I learned about it.

1598
01:32:37,604 --> 01:32:39,401
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1599
01:32:39,606 --> 01:32:42,769
- They taught me about--
- Who's doWn there?

1600
01:32:42,976 --> 01:32:44,204
Yeah, it's your hand.

1601
01:32:49,116 --> 01:32:52,483
- Thank you, that's good.
- You have such a smooth cock.

1602
01:32:52,686 --> 01:32:54,711
Thank you.
You Would too if you Were a man.

1603
01:32:54,922 --> 01:32:57,413
But you got such a smooth chest.

1604
01:32:57,624 --> 01:33:00,286
I am gonna give you...

1605
01:33:00,494 --> 01:33:04,931
...the best bloW-J ever...

1606
01:33:05,132 --> 01:33:07,532
...With my mouth.

1607
01:33:07,734 --> 01:33:09,929
Why don't We--?
Why don't We just kiss a While?

1608
01:33:10,137 --> 01:33:13,732
Why don't We keep kissing for a bit,
instead of...?

1609
01:33:15,642 --> 01:33:17,200
HoW badly do you Wanna fuck me?

1610
01:33:17,678 --> 01:33:19,305
Jesus Christ.

1611
01:33:20,113 --> 01:33:21,080
Jesus, fuck.

1612
01:33:21,281 --> 01:33:22,543
- Hang on one second.
- What?

1613
01:33:22,749 --> 01:33:24,478
Becca,
I don't think you Wanna do this.

1614
01:33:24,685 --> 01:33:28,587
- You're really drunk.
- No, I'm not. I am not drunk.

1615
01:33:28,789 --> 01:33:32,953
- I see that you are. I think you are.
- And I really-- I Want you inside me.

1616
01:33:33,160 --> 01:33:35,390
I Want you to be my first.
I Want you inside me.

1617
01:33:35,596 --> 01:33:37,791
So just-- Just go With it.

1618
01:33:37,998 --> 01:33:39,932
- Let it happen.
- I knoW, but... .

1619
01:33:40,434 --> 01:33:42,425
Becca, this is kind of intense.

1620
01:33:42,636 --> 01:33:46,970
And I just-- I'm so drunk.
I can't even, like, process this.

1621
01:33:47,174 --> 01:33:49,506
And you're really pretty.

1622
01:33:49,710 --> 01:33:51,769
And I just think
this isn't hoW I pictured it.

1623
01:33:51,979 --> 01:33:56,416
I don't understand Why you have to be
such a little bitch about it.

1624
01:33:57,618 --> 01:34:00,746
- Did you just call me a bitch?
- Yes, a scared--

1625
01:34:00,954 --> 01:34:03,548
See, I, like,
I think We're not thinking clear--

1626
01:34:03,757 --> 01:34:05,019
Holy shit. Oh, my God.

1627
01:34:05,225 --> 01:34:07,591
- Go get Gaby.
- I'll go get her.

1628
01:34:07,794 --> 01:34:12,527
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Go get Gaby, please.

1629
01:34:26,747 --> 01:34:30,376
- I got a boner.
- Good.

1630
01:34:31,685 --> 01:34:34,279
- Do you have a condom?
- Yes.

1631
01:34:36,223 --> 01:34:38,191
And lube.

1632
01:34:38,392 --> 01:34:39,882
Seth?

1633
01:34:43,865 --> 01:34:46,299
Are--? Are you crying?

1634
01:34:46,701 --> 01:34:49,568
No, I just have something
in both my eyes.

1635
01:34:49,771 --> 01:34:50,931
I don't cry. That's funny.

1636
01:34:51,139 --> 01:34:53,369
You look-- You look--
It looks like you're crying.

1637
01:34:53,574 --> 01:34:54,905
So... .

1638
01:34:57,145 --> 01:34:59,477
It Was my last chance
and I fucked it up and--

1639
01:34:59,681 --> 01:35:01,239
Your last chance to do What?

1640
01:35:01,449 --> 01:35:04,475
To make you
my girlfriend for the summer.

1641
01:35:05,086 --> 01:35:07,919
You're, like, the coolest person
that's ever talked to me.

1642
01:35:08,122 --> 01:35:09,714
I thought We'd both be drunk.

1643
01:35:09,924 --> 01:35:12,654
What does me being drunk
have anything to do With it?

1644
01:35:12,860 --> 01:35:15,158
You'd never get With me
if you Were sober.

1645
01:35:15,363 --> 01:35:16,830
Look at you.

1646
01:35:17,899 --> 01:35:22,097
- Look at me.
- Seth, come on, you didn't bloW it.

1647
01:35:22,704 --> 01:35:24,296
I think maybe--

1648
01:35:24,939 --> 01:35:26,702
What the fuck?!

1649
01:35:26,908 --> 01:35:28,569
Help me.

1650
01:35:30,778 --> 01:35:31,745
Shirley.

1651
01:35:31,946 --> 01:35:34,005
I'm sorry.

1652
01:35:34,415 --> 01:35:36,906
- Someone forgot to call pest control.
- Yep.

1653
01:35:37,118 --> 01:35:38,949
Where you going?
Hey, party's still on.

1654
01:35:39,153 --> 01:35:40,381
- Where are you going?
- No.

1655
01:35:40,588 --> 01:35:43,785
If you're back there, get out.
Everyone, come on.

1656
01:35:43,991 --> 01:35:45,754
- We Will shoot you.
- Party's over.

1657
01:35:45,960 --> 01:35:47,450
- Evan.
- Get the hell out of here.

1658
01:35:47,662 --> 01:35:49,323
Keep your hands up.

1659
01:35:55,103 --> 01:35:57,799
Life's bullshit, Miroki.

1660
01:36:07,181 --> 01:36:09,149
Ev, Wake the fuck up, man.

1661
01:36:09,350 --> 01:36:11,648
We gotta go.
Those fucking cops are here, man.

1662
01:36:14,956 --> 01:36:17,254
"Oh, no, it's the cops."
We have a complaint.

1663
01:36:17,458 --> 01:36:19,983
- Evan, come on.
- Get the hell out of here right noW.

1664
01:36:20,194 --> 01:36:21,821
Get out of here.
She's not interested.

1665
01:36:22,029 --> 01:36:24,725
- Drop the crantini and move it, sister.
- See you, sugar tits.

1666
01:36:24,932 --> 01:36:25,899
Guys, come on, move.

1667
01:36:26,100 --> 01:36:29,228
Everybody out.
Leave the booze and go.

1668
01:36:30,404 --> 01:36:31,598
What the fuck, man?

1669
01:36:32,406 --> 01:36:33,668
What the fuck, Seth?

1670
01:36:33,875 --> 01:36:36,105
He's my best friend. Oh, shit.

1671
01:36:36,711 --> 01:36:39,111
Oh, shit. Come on.

1672
01:36:39,313 --> 01:36:41,941
I assume you all have guns
and crack.

1673
01:36:44,685 --> 01:36:48,416
Oh, my God, come on. Don't stop.

1674
01:36:50,992 --> 01:36:52,357
Okay, everyone...

1675
01:36:52,560 --> 01:36:55,393
...prepare to be fucked
by the long dick of the laW.

1676
01:36:55,596 --> 01:36:57,359
Get out.

1677
01:36:59,167 --> 01:37:00,156
Come on, go.

1678
01:37:04,405 --> 01:37:05,963
Fuck off, Seth.

1679
01:37:08,543 --> 01:37:09,737
Get a room.

1680
01:37:09,944 --> 01:37:12,344
I'm gonna save you.
I'm gonna save you, Evan.

1681
01:37:13,981 --> 01:37:15,642
Fuck.

1682
01:37:17,318 --> 01:37:20,515
Fuck. Fuck, man, so heavy.

1683
01:37:35,837 --> 01:37:38,237
It's in. Oh, my God, it's in.

1684
01:37:38,439 --> 01:37:40,805
All right, everybody out.
Come on, let's go.

1685
01:37:41,008 --> 01:37:43,374
McLovin! What the fuck?

1686
01:37:43,578 --> 01:37:45,944
- Officer Slater, is that you?
- You ran aWay from us.

1687
01:37:46,147 --> 01:37:48,115
Why did you run aWay?
Michaels, get up here.

1688
01:37:48,316 --> 01:37:50,250
- No. I didn't run aWay.
- What the fuck?

1689
01:37:50,451 --> 01:37:51,440
Why Would you do that?

1690
01:37:51,652 --> 01:37:54,143
- I Was disoriented from--
- Were you violating that girl?

1691
01:37:54,355 --> 01:37:56,755
You just violated her With your penis?
Michaels, look.

1692
01:37:56,958 --> 01:37:58,323
- McLovin?
- No, no, no.

1693
01:37:58,893 --> 01:38:00,383
No.

1694
01:38:01,028 --> 01:38:02,825
Holy shit.
Were you just getting laid?

1695
01:38:03,030 --> 01:38:05,692
No. Yeah, I Was, but--

1696
01:38:05,900 --> 01:38:08,164
- Yes, yes, he Was.
- It's not What you think, guys.

1697
01:38:08,369 --> 01:38:10,564
- I'm not even--
- Sit the fuck doWn. Stay doWn.

1698
01:38:10,771 --> 01:38:12,602
- Calm doWn.
- I thought We Were friends...

1699
01:38:12,807 --> 01:38:14,274
...and then you go running aWay.

1700
01:38:14,475 --> 01:38:16,102
Contain yourself.

1701
01:38:16,310 --> 01:38:17,800
- We're friends.
- Shut up.

1702
01:38:18,012 --> 01:38:20,276
- Calm doWn. Calm doWn, man.
- Why? What?

1703
01:38:20,481 --> 01:38:22,073
You just cock-blocked McLovin.
Okay?

1704
01:38:22,283 --> 01:38:23,773
He's our friend. We don't do that.

1705
01:38:23,985 --> 01:38:27,318
We should be guiding his cock,
not blocking it.

1706
01:38:27,521 --> 01:38:31,252
Just relax, okay?
Let's make this right.

1707
01:38:38,933 --> 01:38:41,197
Wait, What are you--?
What are you guys doing?

1708
01:38:41,402 --> 01:38:44,599
No, please, I can't-- I can't go to jail.
Please, I can't go to jail.

1709
01:38:44,805 --> 01:38:48,605
No, look.
We're really sorry, McLovin.

1710
01:38:48,809 --> 01:38:52,142
This has-- This has gone on--
This has gone Way too far.

1711
01:38:52,346 --> 01:38:55,406
What? What are you talking about?

1712
01:38:55,616 --> 01:38:59,552
We knoW you're not 25, man.
We're not idiots, McLovin.

1713
01:38:59,754 --> 01:39:02,246
- Yeah.
- Did you knoW the Whole time?

1714
01:39:02,457 --> 01:39:07,622
Look, When We Were your age,
We hated cops.

1715
01:39:07,829 --> 01:39:10,992
When We saW you
in the liquor store today, We just... .

1716
01:39:11,199 --> 01:39:13,258
I guess We saW a bit of ourselves,
you knoW...

1717
01:39:13,468 --> 01:39:16,562
...and We just Wanted
to shoW you that...

1718
01:39:16,772 --> 01:39:19,138
...you knoW, cops can have
a fun time too, you knoW?

1719
01:39:19,341 --> 01:39:20,933
Yeah.

1720
01:39:21,710 --> 01:39:26,238
You knoW, in a Way,
I think We Wanted to shoW ourselves.

1721
01:39:27,983 --> 01:39:30,315
Also, I'm... .

1722
01:39:30,519 --> 01:39:33,647
I'm really sorry
that I blocked your cock.

1723
01:39:34,323 --> 01:39:37,451
- Apology accepted.
- Seriously, man.

1724
01:39:38,493 --> 01:39:40,051
That feels good.

1725
01:39:40,262 --> 01:39:42,127
- It feels so good.
- I missed you guys.

1726
01:39:42,331 --> 01:39:44,697
I just Wish We could
make it up to you somehoW, man.

1727
01:39:44,900 --> 01:39:47,528
Well, do you think
you can do me a really big favor?

1728
01:39:47,736 --> 01:39:49,795
- What is it? Anything.
- Name it.

1729
01:39:50,005 --> 01:39:53,031
- This kid's fucking crazy.
- Stay back for your oWn safety.

1730
01:39:53,241 --> 01:39:55,539
Get off me, you fucking cops.
Get your hands off.

1731
01:39:55,744 --> 01:39:58,269
Do you knoW Who I am?
I'm Fogell.

1732
01:39:59,147 --> 01:40:02,548
- The joint can't hold me.
- Holy shit, Fogell's a badass.

1733
01:40:02,751 --> 01:40:05,720
I'm gonna break your glasses,
you fucking cop. You can't hold me.

1734
01:40:05,921 --> 01:40:07,013
Fucking pigs.

1735
01:40:11,994 --> 01:40:13,188
Oh, shit.

1736
01:40:15,797 --> 01:40:17,389
Nice mullet, asshole.

1737
01:40:18,033 --> 01:40:19,898
- You crazy.
- This kid's crazy.

1738
01:40:20,102 --> 01:40:23,162
He's nuts.
Well, We caught the infamous Fogell.

1739
01:40:23,372 --> 01:40:24,999
Get your hands--
Wait for me, Nicola.

1740
01:40:25,207 --> 01:40:26,640
Wait for me on the outside.

1741
01:40:27,576 --> 01:40:29,703
We Were gonna go to HaWaii.

1742
01:40:30,812 --> 01:40:32,507
Man, that's gonna get you
so much ass.

1743
01:40:32,714 --> 01:40:33,681
Seriously?

1744
01:40:33,882 --> 01:40:37,079
- I knoW What to do about the car.
- SWeet.

1745
01:40:37,686 --> 01:40:41,315
Fucking go. Fucking throW up.

1746
01:40:45,193 --> 01:40:46,558
Are you carrying me?

1747
01:40:46,762 --> 01:40:48,889
No, I'm saving you from the cops.

1748
01:40:49,264 --> 01:40:50,253
You saved me?

1749
01:40:52,100 --> 01:40:55,035
Well, I don't knoW What
you're talking about, but thanks.

1750
01:40:55,237 --> 01:40:57,364
Can l-- Should I just Walk?

1751
01:40:57,572 --> 01:41:01,099
- Should I Walk?
- Yeah, sure.

1752
01:41:01,877 --> 01:41:05,870
- Okay.
- Where do you Wanna go?

1753
01:41:06,715 --> 01:41:09,843
Sleepover at my house?
You Wanna come sleep...?

1754
01:41:11,553 --> 01:41:14,522
- Okay.
- Okay.

1755
01:41:17,592 --> 01:41:19,287
Does your mom
still have pizza bagels?

1756
01:41:19,494 --> 01:41:21,121
Yeah. Lots.

1757
01:41:21,329 --> 01:41:23,263
Pizza bagels.

1758
01:41:31,506 --> 01:41:34,100
So by signing this,
you are officially saying...

1759
01:41:34,309 --> 01:41:36,743
...that as We stopped you
from being mugged...

1760
01:41:36,945 --> 01:41:39,846
...a crackhead stole our cruiser
and did God knoWs What With it.

1761
01:41:40,048 --> 01:41:42,642
- You cool to sign that?
- Of course. I oWe you guys my life.

1762
01:41:42,851 --> 01:41:45,445
We oWe you, Mc--
Wait, What's your real name again?

1763
01:41:45,654 --> 01:41:46,678
- Fogell.
- Fuck that.

1764
01:41:46,888 --> 01:41:49,448
- We're calling you McLovin.
- McLovin.

1765
01:41:49,658 --> 01:41:52,058
Let's do this dance, boys.

1766
01:42:15,650 --> 01:42:18,312
- Oh, my God.
- What did I tell you guys, right?

1767
01:42:18,520 --> 01:42:19,487
That Was crazy.

1768
01:42:25,494 --> 01:42:26,688
All right.

1769
01:42:26,895 --> 01:42:28,829
All right, noW, guys, check this out.

1770
01:42:29,030 --> 01:42:32,227
It's probably the greatest move
in doughnut-spinning history.

1771
01:42:32,434 --> 01:42:33,423
You paying attention?

1772
01:42:33,635 --> 01:42:36,900
Behold, the upWard-spiraling pigtail.

1773
01:42:37,105 --> 01:42:40,370
- Why is it called that?
- I don't knoW.

1774
01:42:44,546 --> 01:42:46,639
Make the badge proud, Slater.

1775
01:42:48,650 --> 01:42:50,811
He's not usually this drunk
When he does this...

1776
01:42:51,019 --> 01:42:54,147
...but I think
that could make it more cool.

1777
01:42:59,261 --> 01:43:00,990
McLovin!

1778
01:43:11,506 --> 01:43:12,564
Oh, no.

1779
01:43:13,375 --> 01:43:14,706
Fuck.

1780
01:43:21,117 --> 01:43:24,484
- Slater!
- Officer Slater.

1781
01:43:26,289 --> 01:43:29,224
All right. Fucking crazy.

1782
01:43:30,026 --> 01:43:30,993
Let's do this.

1783
01:43:31,861 --> 01:43:36,025
- Hurry, hurry. Let's go. Go, go.
- I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.

1784
01:43:36,232 --> 01:43:38,393
- I'm out, I'm out.
- Good, here We go, here We go.

1785
01:43:38,601 --> 01:43:40,694
Yeah? Yeah, okay. Back up.

1786
01:43:40,903 --> 01:43:43,497
Don't bloW yourself up, asshole.

1787
01:43:48,678 --> 01:43:52,170
Yes. Oh, my God.

1788
01:43:52,381 --> 01:43:54,781
It Worked. It Worked.

1789
01:43:54,984 --> 01:43:58,920
We Won. We Won.

1790
01:44:07,530 --> 01:44:09,430
Can We shoot at it?

1791
01:44:10,600 --> 01:44:13,728
I don't knoW. Can you?

1792
01:44:32,555 --> 01:44:34,250
Break yourself, fool.

1793
01:44:40,630 --> 01:44:42,120
Tight.

1794
01:44:42,331 --> 01:44:44,925
Listen, and then she said
she Was gonna give me a bloW-J.

1795
01:44:45,134 --> 01:44:48,865
- I can't believe she said that to you.
- Man, you have no idea.

1796
01:44:49,071 --> 01:44:51,938
- What Was she thinking?
- You don't even knoW.

1797
01:44:59,749 --> 01:45:03,742
I gotta tell you.
I gotta tell you something, Evan.

1798
01:45:03,953 --> 01:45:05,284
What?

1799
01:45:05,488 --> 01:45:07,353
I Was in your room, like,
three Weeks ago...

1800
01:45:07,556 --> 01:45:09,786
...While you Were taking a shit.

1801
01:45:09,992 --> 01:45:14,986
And I saW your housing, like, forms.

1802
01:45:15,498 --> 01:45:19,696
So I kneW you and Fogell
Were gonna live together, you knoW.

1803
01:45:19,902 --> 01:45:22,462
I'm sorry, man, I don't knoW.

1804
01:45:24,507 --> 01:45:28,603
I should've told you.
I don't knoW Why I didn't.

1805
01:45:28,811 --> 01:45:31,541
Don't-- No, don't be sorry.
I should be sorry.

1806
01:45:31,747 --> 01:45:34,477
I Was being a dick.
I Was being a big dick to you.

1807
01:45:34,684 --> 01:45:35,912
No, l--

1808
01:45:36,118 --> 01:45:40,521
Listen, Seth, I Want you to knoW,
I don't Wanna live With Fogell.

1809
01:45:40,723 --> 01:45:45,683
I never Wanted to live With him.
I just don't-- I ha--

1810
01:45:45,895 --> 01:45:48,056
I'm afraid to live With strangers.

1811
01:45:49,932 --> 01:45:51,058
I can't.

1812
01:45:52,168 --> 01:45:54,136
I can't do it.

1813
01:45:55,538 --> 01:45:58,268
I knoW, I knoW.

1814
01:45:59,575 --> 01:46:02,442
I can't believe you saved me.

1815
01:46:04,113 --> 01:46:06,240
You saved me.

1816
01:46:06,449 --> 01:46:09,350
I can't believe. I oWe you so--

1817
01:46:10,219 --> 01:46:14,349
You carried me. I love you.

1818
01:46:14,990 --> 01:46:16,423
I love you, man.

1819
01:46:19,395 --> 01:46:21,420
I love you.

1820
01:46:22,865 --> 01:46:27,495
I love you. I'm not even
embarrassed to say it. I just--

1821
01:46:27,703 --> 01:46:29,671
I lo-- I love you.

1822
01:46:29,872 --> 01:46:31,533
- I'm not embarrassed.
- I love you.

1823
01:46:31,741 --> 01:46:33,208
I love you.

1824
01:46:33,409 --> 01:46:36,173
Why don't We say that every day?
Why can't We say it more often?

1825
01:46:36,379 --> 01:46:38,609
I just love you. I just Wanna
go to the rooftops and scream:

1826
01:46:38,814 --> 01:46:40,111
"I love my best friend, Evan."

1827
01:46:40,316 --> 01:46:43,945
- We should go up on my roof.
- For sure.

1828
01:46:44,153 --> 01:46:49,955
Like, When you Went aWay for Easter,
on your vacation, I missed you.

1829
01:46:50,159 --> 01:46:53,617
- I missed you too.
- I Want the World to knoW.

1830
01:46:54,063 --> 01:46:58,727
It's-- It's the most beautiful thing
in the World.

1831
01:47:02,338 --> 01:47:05,865
Come here. Come here, man.

1832
01:47:16,552 --> 01:47:19,077
- I love you.
- I love you.

1833
01:47:32,101 --> 01:47:34,160
What the fuck?

1834
01:47:41,545 --> 01:47:46,539
- What up?
- Morning. Morning.

1835
01:47:47,017 --> 01:47:49,508
I should get moving.
I should get moving.

1836
01:47:49,719 --> 01:47:51,914
I should be getting
a move on, for sure.

1837
01:47:52,122 --> 01:47:55,091
Yeah, you don't--
I mean, you don't have to, you knoW.

1838
01:47:55,292 --> 01:47:58,352
I don't really have anything
going on.

1839
01:47:58,562 --> 01:48:01,087
You don't have to rush off like that.

1840
01:48:04,601 --> 01:48:06,626
You Wanna hang out?

1841
01:48:07,070 --> 01:48:09,504
I Was gonna go to the mall.

1842
01:48:09,706 --> 01:48:13,142
I have to get a neW comforter.

1843
01:48:13,777 --> 01:48:16,268
For college.
The mall, they Would sell that.

1844
01:48:16,480 --> 01:48:18,038
Cool. So...

1845
01:48:19,416 --> 01:48:21,680
...your mom's got huge tits.

1846
01:48:24,321 --> 01:48:25,583
What do you think?

1847
01:48:25,789 --> 01:48:27,154
I don't knoW, man. Don't ask me.

1848
01:48:27,357 --> 01:48:30,121
Because I don't give a shit
hoW pants look.

1849
01:48:30,327 --> 01:48:32,693
Yeah, I need someone's opinion.

1850
01:48:32,896 --> 01:48:36,229
Those are too tight.
Those are Way too tight.

1851
01:48:36,433 --> 01:48:38,901
- Yeah, but, like--
- Way too tight. You need to upgrade.

1852
01:48:39,102 --> 01:48:41,662
There's not enough pants Where
there should be. More pants.

1853
01:48:41,872 --> 01:48:44,238
Yeah, but--
I mean, does it look Weird?

1854
01:48:44,441 --> 01:48:47,808
Looks like you're standing funny. You
Wouldn't stand like that. Like a duck.

1855
01:48:48,011 --> 01:48:49,774
Yeah, but I'm doing like--

1856
01:48:49,980 --> 01:48:53,211
- I'm doing the college poses like--
- I don't knoW if you are.

1857
01:48:53,416 --> 01:48:55,316
- You might just be doing--
- Hey, prof.

1858
01:48:55,519 --> 01:48:57,578
- Okay.
- That test Was... .

1859
01:48:58,221 --> 01:49:02,089
Hey, Susan. Are you gonna
party tonight or no?

1860
01:49:02,292 --> 01:49:05,853
Yeah, but that's just-- It's like I Wish
there Were more pants Where--

1861
01:49:06,096 --> 01:49:07,324
You knoW, Where there aren't.

1862
01:49:07,564 --> 01:49:09,429
But When I Was Wearing
your dad's pants...

1863
01:49:09,633 --> 01:49:12,431
...I realized that if I Wear pants
that are a little too small...

1864
01:49:12,636 --> 01:49:14,331
...it might encourage me
to lose Weight.

1865
01:49:14,538 --> 01:49:16,438
And also,
chicks can kind of see, like...

1866
01:49:16,640 --> 01:49:19,268
...you knoW, the borders
and outline of my dick a little.

1867
01:49:19,476 --> 01:49:22,445
Yeah, man, they go nuts for that.
The male camel toe.

1868
01:49:22,646 --> 01:49:25,638
Yeah, the camel tail. It's right--

1869
01:49:25,849 --> 01:49:27,510
I knoW Where it is, Where it happens.

1870
01:49:27,717 --> 01:49:29,378
Like, right there.

1871
01:49:29,586 --> 01:49:33,147
It's like they're so tight that one ball is,
like, above my dick, even.

1872
01:49:33,356 --> 01:49:35,051
- Yeah, exactly.
- It's like three.

1873
01:49:35,258 --> 01:49:37,852
It's like a three thing.
It's like ball, dick, ball.

1874
01:49:38,061 --> 01:49:39,426
It's like a division sign.

1875
01:49:39,629 --> 01:49:41,426
Like a bunch of people
crammed into a van.

1876
01:49:42,365 --> 01:49:46,096
- Making my ass look Weird?
- It makes a lot of stuff look Weird.

1877
01:49:46,436 --> 01:49:47,869
No, those are Way too tight.

1878
01:49:48,705 --> 01:49:51,469
You're right, these look stupid.
Let's get the fuck out of here.

1879
01:49:51,675 --> 01:49:54,940
I'm really sorry about that.
I can't believe I actually did that.

1880
01:49:55,145 --> 01:49:57,204
I feel bad that I'm making you
buy me a neW one.

1881
01:49:57,414 --> 01:49:58,676
It's seems, like, ridiculous.

1882
01:49:58,882 --> 01:50:02,909
- No. I have to, it's puke. It's gross.
- Oh, my God.

1883
01:50:03,119 --> 01:50:05,610
Do alcoholics get hangovers?

1884
01:50:05,822 --> 01:50:08,620
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
It's them.

1885
01:50:09,526 --> 01:50:13,428
- What the fuck do We do, man?
- Don't stop. I don't knoW.

1886
01:50:15,265 --> 01:50:17,699
- Hey.
- Hey.

1887
01:50:18,635 --> 01:50:20,330
HoW's it going?

1888
01:50:22,072 --> 01:50:24,836
It's so good to--
HoW are you feeling?

1889
01:50:25,475 --> 01:50:28,967
I've felt better. But I'll be fine.
HoW about you?

1890
01:50:30,080 --> 01:50:34,210
I'm okay, you knoW, yeah.
Did you have fun last night?

1891
01:50:36,753 --> 01:50:40,280
You knoW,
I actually don't remember much.

1892
01:50:40,490 --> 01:50:42,014
I don't remember anything.

1893
01:50:42,926 --> 01:50:45,895
- So Weird.
- Nothing.

1894
01:50:46,396 --> 01:50:48,990
I didn't puke on you, did I?

1895
01:50:49,466 --> 01:50:51,696
You didn't.
I remember that you-- I avoided it.

1896
01:50:51,901 --> 01:50:55,997
It Whizzed right by me, and I said,
"Stay aWay from me," you knoW.

1897
01:50:56,640 --> 01:51:02,579
I'm really sorry about
everything last night, and I just... .

1898
01:51:04,247 --> 01:51:06,681
Thank you for being
such a nice guy about it all.

1899
01:51:07,584 --> 01:51:09,211
That's okay, you knoW.

1900
01:51:09,419 --> 01:51:12,013
At least you don't have
a black eye from it.

1901
01:51:15,425 --> 01:51:18,553
- That looks terrible.
- Yeah.

1902
01:51:19,462 --> 01:51:23,762
You look great. You don't look terrible.
It's just, like, a bad bruise.

1903
01:51:23,967 --> 01:51:26,697
Everything's great, just from he--
This, just like right there.

1904
01:51:26,903 --> 01:51:28,495
- Your eye.
- Yeah, your eye.

1905
01:51:28,705 --> 01:51:30,332
Everything else is great.

1906
01:51:30,540 --> 01:51:34,533
But seriously,
I acted like a fucking idiot last night.

1907
01:51:37,247 --> 01:51:41,445
You don't deserve that.
So I'm sorry.

1908
01:51:42,285 --> 01:51:46,085
On the upside,
I think you look cool With a black eye.

1909
01:51:46,289 --> 01:51:49,656
I'm just gonna throW that out there.
I don't-- I don't knoW.

1910
01:51:49,859 --> 01:51:53,852
Well, thank you, smart guy.
Thanks. That's actually Why I'm here.

1911
01:51:54,064 --> 01:51:57,364
Because I have to get
a ton of cover-up for the grad photo.

1912
01:51:57,568 --> 01:52:00,002
Oh, man. Fuck.

1913
01:52:00,204 --> 01:52:02,604
And I'm gonna get Jules
a neW comforter.

1914
01:52:02,807 --> 01:52:04,741
I have to get a comforter too.
For college.

1915
01:52:04,942 --> 01:52:07,467
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I just figured I Would need one.

1916
01:52:07,678 --> 01:52:09,578
So, Seth... .

1917
01:52:10,915 --> 01:52:14,874
So do you Wanna come
buy me cover-up or something?

1918
01:52:15,086 --> 01:52:17,111
I mean, you kind of oWe me.

1919
01:52:18,522 --> 01:52:21,889
Yeah, definitely.
I Would love to do that.

1920
01:52:22,359 --> 01:52:24,259
I had such bad acne last year...

1921
01:52:24,462 --> 01:52:27,829
...that I pretty much became,
like, an expert on the stuff.

1922
01:52:28,399 --> 01:52:30,993
Well, you drove.
Evan drove me here, though, so... .

1923
01:52:31,202 --> 01:52:33,227
Well, so--
Well, I mean, I have my dad's car.

1924
01:52:33,437 --> 01:52:36,270
So I could just give you a lift...

1925
01:52:36,474 --> 01:52:38,499
...and then Evan
could take Becca home.

1926
01:52:38,709 --> 01:52:41,109
If that Works.
I don't knoW if it's in your route.

1927
01:52:41,312 --> 01:52:42,540
It'd be fine With me.

1928
01:52:42,747 --> 01:52:45,511
Fine, yeah.
Maybe We can get some food.

1929
01:52:46,717 --> 01:52:47,979
Yeah, I'd like that.

1930
01:52:50,888 --> 01:52:52,549
So I guess I'll call you, then.

1931
01:52:52,757 --> 01:52:54,748
Yeah, give me a call.
Yeah, you have my number.

1932
01:52:54,959 --> 01:52:57,985
I have your information.
So put her there.

1933
01:52:58,195 --> 01:53:01,164
Perfect. Good. All right, man.

1934
01:53:01,365 --> 01:53:02,764
- Okay.
- Okay, guys.

1935
01:53:02,967 --> 01:53:04,491
- Becca.
- Bye, guys.

1936
01:53:04,702 --> 01:53:06,260
- Bye, have fun.
- See you, Jules.

1937
01:53:06,470 --> 01:53:09,598
Yeah, that's funny. Too funny.

1938
01:53:09,807 --> 01:53:12,298
Where do you Wanna go to eat?

1939
01:53:13,677 --> 01:53:16,942
So can you honestly help me figure out
What kind of cover-up to get?

1940
01:58:24,322 --> 01:58:25,721
I love you.