I have sailed the world Beheld its wonders
From the Dardanelles To the mountains of Peru
But there's no place like London
No, there's no place like London
Mr. Todd?
You are young Life has been kind to you
You will learn
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London
At the top of the hole sit a privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo
Turning beauty into filth and greed
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders
For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru
But there's no place like London
Is everything all right, Mr. Todd?
I beg your indulgence, Anthony.
My mind is far from easy.
In these once familiar streets I feel shadows everywhere.
Shadows?
Ghosts.
There was a barber and his wife
And she was beautiful
A foolish barber and his wife
She was his reason and his life
And she was beautiful
And she was virtuous
And he was
naive
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful
A pious vulture of the law
Who, with a gesture of his claw
Removed the barber from his plate
Then there was nothing but to wait
And she would fall
So soft, so young so lost and, oh, so beautiful
And the lady, sir, did she succumb?
Oh, that was many years ago
I doubt if anyone would know
I'd like to thank you, Anthony.
If you hadn't spotted me, I'd be lost on the ocean still.
Will I see you again?
You might find me if you like.
Around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder.
Until then, my friend.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
A customer!
Wait! What's your rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a fright I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can't you sit? Sit you down. Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague
What was that?
But you'd think we had the plague! From the way that people keep avoiding
No, you don't.
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale
Right you are, sir would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know, I make them But good? No!
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite The worst pies in London
If you doubt it, take a bite
Is that just disgusting? You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting
Here, drink this, you'll need it The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat what it is
When you get it Never thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat Finding poor animals
What are dying in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does her business but I noticed something weird
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her What I calls enterprise
Popping pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more Is that just revolting
All greasy and gritty
It looks like it's molting
And tastes like
Well, pity
A woman alone!
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London
Sir
Times is hard
Trust me, dearie, it's gonna take a lot more than ale to wash that taste out.
Come with me. We'll get you a nice tumbler of gin, eh?
Isn't this homey, now?
The cheery wallpaper was a real bargain, too.
It was only partly singed when the chapel burned down.
There you go. You sit down, warm your bones.
You've a room over the shop here?
Times is so hard, why don't you rent it out?
What, up there? No, I won't go near it.
People think it's haunted.
- Haunted? - Yeah.
And who's to say they're wrong?
You see, years ago, something happened up there.
Something not very nice.
There was a barber and his wife
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife
But they transported him for life
And he was beautiful
Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
What was his crime?
Foolishness.
He had this wife, you see
Pretty little thing, silly little nit
Had her chance for the moon on a string
Poor thing
There was this judge, you see
Wanted her like mad Every day he sent her a flower
But did she come down from her tower?
Sat up there and sobbed by the hour
Poor fool
But there was worse yet to come poor thing
Well, Beadle calls on her all polite Poor thing
The Judge, he tells her is all contrite
He blames himself for her dreadful plight
She must come straight to his house tonight
Poor thing, poor thing
Of course, when she goes there Poor thing, poor thing
They're having this ball all in masks
There's no one she knows there Poor dear, poor thing
She wanders tormented and drinks Poor thing
The Judge has repented, she thinks Poor thing
"Oh, where is Judge Turpin?" She asks
He was there all right Only not so contrite
She wasn't no match for such craft you see
And everyone thought it so droll
They figured she had to be daft you see
So all of them stood there and laughed you see
Poor soul
Poor thing...
No!
Would no one have mercy on her?
So, it is you,
Benjamin Barker?
Where is Lucy?
Where is my wife?
She poisoned herself.
Arsenic, from the apothecary around the corner.
Tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me.
And he's got your daughter.
He?
Judge Turpin?
Adopted her. Like his own.
Fifteen years.
I've sweated in a living hell on a false charge.
Fifteen years dreaming I might come home to a wife and child.
Well, I can't say the years have been particularly kind to you, Mr. Barker.
No. Not Barker.
That man is dead.
It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd.
And he will have his revenge.
Come in.
Nothing to be afraid of, love.
When they came for the girl, I hid them.
Could've sold them, but I didn't.
Those handles is chased silver, ain't they?
Silver. Yes.
These are my friends
See how they glisten
See this one shine
How he smiles in the light
My friend
My faithful friend
Speak to me, friend
Whisper, I'll listen
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight all these years
Like me, my friend
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting
Home
And we're together
And we'll do wonders
Won't we?
You there, my friend
- I'm your friend, too, Mr. Todd - Come, let me hold you
- If you only knew, Mr. Todd - Now, with a sigh
Oh, Mr. Todd
- you're warm in my hand - You grow warm in my hand
My friend
- You've come home - My clever friend
Always had a fondness for you, I did
Rest now, my friends
- Never you fear, Mr. Todd - Soon I'll unfold you
- You can move in here, Mr. Todd - Soon you'll know
- Splendors you never - Splendors you never
- have dreamed all your days - have dreamed all your days
Will be yours
My lucky friends
- I'm your friend and now you're mine - Till now your shine...
- Don't they shine beautiful? - ... was merely silver
Silver's good enough for me
- Friends, you shall drip rubies - Mr. T
You'll soon drip precious
rubies
Leave me.
At last, my arm is complete again.
Green finch and linnet bird Nightingale, blackbird
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate Sitting in cages
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits Beckoning, beckoning
Just beyond the bars
How can you remain Staring at the rain
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing anything?
How is it you sing?
My cage has many rooms Damask and dark
Nothing there sings Not even my lark
Larks never will, you know When they're captive
Teach me to be more adaptive
Green finch and linnet bird Nightingale, blackbird
Teach me how to sing
If I cannot fly
Let me sing
Alms!
Alms for a miserable woman
On a miserable chilly morning
- Thank you, sir! - Ma'am?
Could you tell me whose house this is?
That's the great Judge Turpin's house, that is.
And the young lady who resides there?
Oh, that's Johanna, his pretty little ward.
Keeps her snug, he does. All locked up.
So don't you go trespassing there, or it's a good whipping for you,
or any other young man with mischief on his mind.
Alms!
Alms for a desperate woman
I feel you
Johanna
I feel you
I was half convinced I'd waken
Satisfied enough to dream you
Happily I was mistaken, Johanna
I'll steal you
Johanna!
I'll steal you
Come in, lad. Come in.
You were looking for Hyde Park, you say?
Yes.
It's very large on the map, but I keep getting lost.
Sit down, lad, sit down.
It's embarrassing for a sailor to lose his bearings, but there you are.
A sailor?
Yes, sir. The Bountiful, out of Plymouth.
A sailor must know the ways of the world, yes?
Must be practiced in the ways of the world.
Would you say you were practiced, boy?
- Sir? - Oh, yes.
Such practices.
The geishas of Japan. The concubines of Siam.
The catamites of Greece. The harlots of India.
I have them all here. Drawings of them.
Everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a woman.
Would you like to see?
I think there's been some mistake.
I think not.
You gandered at my ward, Johanna. You gandered at her.
- Yes, sir, you gandered. - I meant no harm.
Your meaning is immaterial.
Mark me.
If I see your face again on this street, you'll rue the day you were born.
Hyde Park is that way, young sir!
A left and a right and straight on, you see?
Move on, now!
You heard what Judge Turpin said, little man.
Next time, it'll be your pretty little brains all over the pavement.
I'll steal you
Johanna
I'll steal you
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window
I am in the dark beside you
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair
I feel you
Johanna
And one day
I'll steal you
Till I'm with you then I'm with you there!
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!
He's here every Thursday. Italian. All the rage he is.
Best barber in London, they say.
Hang on.
Ladies and gentlemen May I have your attention, please?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
What ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen From now on you can waken at ease
You need never again have a worry or care
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare
Gentlemen, you are about to see something
What rose from the dead!
On the top of my head!
'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
That's what did the trick, sir True, sir, true
Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir?
Just like an elixir ought to do
How about a bottle, mister? Only costs a penny, guaranteed
Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir 'Tis unique
Rub a minute Stimulating, isn't it?
Soon you'll have to thin it Once a week!
Pardon me, ma'am what's that awful stench?
Are we standing in an open trench?
Must be standing near an open trench!
Pardon me, sir what's that awful stench?
Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Anything what's slick, sir Soon sprouts curls
Try Pirelli's When they see how thick, sir
You can have your pick, sir Of the girls
Want to buy a bottle, missus?
- What is this? - What is this?
- Smells like piss - Smells like...
- Looks like piss! - Wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear!
- This is piss, piss with ink - Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir!
Keep it off your boots, sir Eats right through
Yes, get Pirelli's, use a bottle of it Ladies seem to love it
Flies do, too
I am Adolfo Pirelli
The king of the barbers The barber of kings
E buon giorno, good day! I blow you a kiss!
And I
the so famous Pirelli I wish-a to know-a
Who has-a the nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss
Who says this?
I do.
I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street.
I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir.
And I say to you that it is nothing but an arrant fraud,
concocted from piss and ink.
Furthermore, Signor, I have serviced no kings,
yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with 10 times more dexterity,
than any street mountebank.
Do you see these razors?
I lay them against £5.
You are no match, sir.
Either accept my challenge, or reveal yourself as a sham.
You hear this foolish man?
Now, please, you will see how he will-a regret-a his-a folly.
Toby!
Who's for a free shave?
Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
Ready?
Ready!
Ready.
The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner!
Now, signorini, signori We mix-a the lather
But first-a You gather around, signorini, signori
You looking a man who have had-a the glory to shave-a the Pope!
Mr. Sweeney, whoever I beg-a you pardon
You'll probably say it was only a cardinal
Nope!
It was-a the Pope!
To shave-a the face To cut-a the hair
Require the grace Require the flair
For if-a you slip You nick the skin
You clip-a the chin You rip-a the lip a bit
Beyond-a repair
To shave-a the face
Or even a part Without it-a smart
Require the heart
Not just-a the flash
It take-a panache It take-a the passion for the art
To shave-a the face To trim-a the beard
To make-a the bristle Clean like a whistle
This is from early infancy The talent give to me
By God
It take-a the skill It take-a the brains
It take-a da will To take-a the pains
It take-a the pace It take-a the grace
The winner is Todd!
Sir, I bow to a skill far greater than my own.
The £5.
May the good Lord smile on you.
Until we meet again.
Come, boy. Come!
Suppose it's just me gentle heart,
but I do hate to see a boy treated like that.
Congratulations, Mr. Todd.
May I ask you, sir, do you have your own establishment?
He certainly does.
Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor,
above my Meat Pie Emporium in Fleet Street.
I thank you, sir.
You are a paragon of integrity.
Well, I try to do my best for my friends and neighbors.
Your establishment is in Fleet Street, you say?
- Yes, sir. - Then, Mr. Todd,
you shall surely see me there before the week is out.
You will be welcome, Beadle Bamford.
And I can guarantee to give you, without a penny's charge,
the closest shave you will ever know.
Come on, love.
It's not much of a chair, but it'll do.
It was me poor Albert's chair. Sit in it all day long he did,
after his leg gave out with the gout.
Why doesn't the Beadle come?
"Before the week is out," that's what he said.
Well, who says the week's out? It's only Tuesday.
Easy now Hush, love, hush
Don't distress yourself What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts Nice and lush
Wait
Hush, love, hush Think it through
Once it bubbles Then what's to do?
Watch it close Let it brew
Wait
I've been thinking flowers Maybe daisies
To brighten up the room
Don't you think some flowers Pretty daisies
Might relieve the gloom?
Wait
Love, wait
And the Judge? When'll we get to him?
Can't you think of nothing else? Always brooding away on your wrongs
and what happened heaven knows how many years ago.
Come on.
Slow, love, slow Time's so fast
Now goes quickly See, now it's past
Soon will come Soon will last
Wait
Don't you know Silly man
Half the fun is to plan the plan?
All good things come to those who can
Wait
Gillyflowers, maybe 'Stead of daisies
I don't know, though What do you think?
Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me.
- Mrs. Lovett, sir. - A pleasure, ma'am.
Mr. Todd, there's a girl who needs my help.
Such a sad girl and lonely, but beautiful, too and...
- Slow down, son. - Yes. I'm sorry.
This girl has a guardian who keeps her locked away,
but then, this morning, she dropped this.
Surely a sign that Johanna wants me to help her.
That's her name, Johanna.
And Turpin is her guardian. He's a judge of some sort.
Once he goes to court, I'm going to slip into the house,
release her and beg her to come away with me tonight.
- Oh, this is very romantic. - Yes.
But I don't know anyone in London, you see.
And I need somewhere safe to bring her till I've hired a coach to take us away.
If I could keep her here just for an hour or two,
I'd be forever in your debt.
- Bring her here, love. - Thank you, ma'am.
Mr. Todd?
Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you, my friend.
Thank you, ma'am.
Seems like the Fates are favoring you at last, Mr. T.
What is it? You'll have her back before the day is out.
What about him?
Him?
Oh, well. Let him bring her here.
And then, since you're so hot for a little,
that's the throat to slit, my dear.
Poor little Johanna.
All those years without a scrap of motherly affection.
Well, I'll soon see to that.
Hello. What's he doing here?
Keep the boy downstairs.
Signora, is Mr. Todd at home?
Plying his trade upstairs.
Would you look at it now?
You wouldn't mind if I gave it a nice juicy meat pie, would you?
- Sì, sì, sì. Whatever you want. - Come on, lad.
Your teeth are strong, I hope.
Close the door. Get you a nice lovely pie.
Sit down. Make yourself comfy.
Come in.
- Mr. Todd. - Signor Pirelli.
Call me Davey.
Davey Collin's the name when it's not professional.
I'd like me five quid back, if you don't mind.
Why?
Because you entered into our little wager under false pretenses, my friend.
So that you might remember to be a bit more forthright in the future,
I'll be taking half your profits from herewith.
Share and share alike.
Mr. Benjamin Barker.
Here we are. Tuck in.
I like to see a man with a healthy appetite.
Reminds me of my dear Albert.
Liked to gorge himself to bloatation, he did.
He didn't have your nice head of hair, though.
To tell the truth, it gets awful hot.
Yes, this'll do nicely.
You don't remember me, do you? Why should you?
I was just a little nip that you hired for a couple of weeks,
sweeping up hair.
But I remember these.
And how could I ever forget you, Mr. Barker.
I used to sit right here.
Dream of the day when I could be a proper barber myself.
You might say that you was inspiration to me.
So, is we got a deal?
Or should I run down the street to me old pal, Beadle Bamford?
What do you say to that, now, Mr. Sweeney Todd?
My, my, my. Always work to be done.
Spic and span, that's my motto.
So, how'd you end up with that dreadful Italian?
Got me from the workhouse. Been there since I was born.
Oh, God! He's got an appointment with his tailor!
If he's late, he'll blame me!
Wait!
Signor! You got an appointment!
Signor Pirelli's been called away. Better run after him.
No, sir. I should stay here, or it'll be a lashing.
He's a great one for the lashings.
So,
- Mrs. Lovett gave you a pie, did she? - She's a real lady.
That she is.
But if I know a growing boy, there's still room for more pie, eh?
Yes, sir.
Then why don't you wait for your master downstairs?
- Be another pie in it for you, I'm sure. - No, I should stay here.
Tell you what, why don't you tell Mrs. Lovett
that I said to give you a nice big tot of gin.
Thank you, sir!
This is the second time, sir,
you have been brought before this bench.
Though it is my earnest wish ever to temper justice with mercy,
your persistent dedication to a life of crime
is an abomination before God and man.
I therefore sentence you to hang by the neck until you're dead.
And may the Lord have mercy on your soul.
Court is adjourned.
Thank you, Your Honor.
- Just the sentence we wanted. - Was he guilty?
Well, if he didn't do it,
he's surely done something to warrant a hanging.
- What man has not? - Sorry?
No matter. Come.
Walk home with me.
I have news for you, my friend.
In order to shield her from the evils of this world,
I have decided to marry my dear Johanna.
Sir, happy news indeed.
Strange though,
when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance.
Excuse me, my lord May I request, my lord
Permission, my lord, to speak?
Forgive me if I suggest, my lord
You're looking less than your best, my lord
There's powder upon your vest, my lord And stubble upon your cheek
And ladies, my lord, are weak
Stubble, you say?
Perhaps I am a little overhasty in the mornings.
Fret not though, my lord I know a place, my lord
A barber, my lord, of skill
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord
Some eau de cologne to grace, my lord
And musk to enhance the chase my lord
You'll dazzle the girl until
Until?
She bows to your every will
Barber?
Take me to him.
His name is Todd, my lord, and he is the very last word in barbering.
You ought to slow down a bit, lad. It'll go straight to your head.
They used to give it to us in the workhouse
so as we could sleep.
Not that you'd want to sleep in that place, ma'am.
Not with the things what happen in the dark.
That's nice, dear.
Think I'll just pop in on Mr. Todd for a tick.
- You all right, there? - Leave the bottle.
That lad is drinking me out of house and home.
How long till Pirelli gets back?
He won't be back.
Mr. T, you didn't.
You're barking mad. Killing a man what done you no harm.
He recognized me from the old days. Tried to blackmail me.
Half me earnings.
Oh, well, it's a different matter then.
For a moment there, I thought you'd lost your marbles.
All that blood.
Poor bugger.
Oh, well.
Well, waste not, want not.
So, what are we gonna do about the boy then?
Send him up.
Oh, we don't need to worry about him. He's a simple thing.
Send him up!
Now, Mr. T, surely one's enough for today.
Besides, I was thinking of hiring the lad to help me run the shop.
Your poor knees aren't what they used to be.
All right.
Course, we're gonna have to stock up on the gin.
Boy drinks like a sailor.
The Judge.
Get out.
Get out!
Mr. Todd?
At your service.
An honor to receive your patronage, my lord.
You know me, sir?
Who in this wide world does not know the great Judge Turpin?
These premises are hardly prepossessing,
and yet the Beadle tells me
you're the most accomplished of all the barbers in the city.
That is gracious of him, sir.
What may I do for you today, sir?
A stylish trimming of the hair?
Soothing skin massage?
Sit, sir. Sit.
You see, sir, a man infatuate with love Her ardent and eager slave
So fetch the pomade and pumice stone And lend me a more seductive tone
A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne But first, sir, I think
a shave
The closest I ever gave
You're in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd.
'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire From one man to the next
'Tis true, sir, love can still inspire
The blood to pound the heart leap higher
- What more - What more
- can man require than love, sir - can man require
More than love, sir
- What, sir? - Women
- Yes, women - Pretty women
Now then, my friend
Now to your purpose
Patience, enjoy it
Revenge can't be taken in haste
Make haste, and if we wed You'll be commended, sir
My lord
And who, may it be said Is your intended, sir?
My ward
A pretty little rosebud.
Pretty as her mother?
What? What was that?
Nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed?
Pretty women
Fascinating Sipping coffee
Dancing Pretty women!
Are a wonder
Pretty women
Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them Cheers the air
Pretty women
Silhouetted
Stay within you
Glancing!
Stay forever
Breathing lightly
Pretty women
- Pretty women - Pretty women
- Blowing out their candles or - Blowing out their candles or
- Combing out their hair - Combing out their hair
Then they leave
- Even when they leave... - Even when they
leave you and vanish...
- ... they still... - ... they somehow can still remain...
- ... are there, they're there - ... there with you
- Pretty women - Pretty women
- At their mirrors - In their gardens
- Letter-writing - Flower-picking
weather-watching
- How they make a man sing - How they make a man sing
- Proof of heaven - Proof of heaven
- As you're living - As you're living
- Pretty women, sir! - Pretty women, sir!
- Pretty women, yes! - Pretty women, yes!
- Pretty women, sir - Pretty women, pretty women
Mr. Todd! I've seen Johanna
and she said she'd leave with me tonight.
You.
There is indeed a higher power to warn me thus in time.
Johanna elope with you?
I'll make sure that neither you
nor any other man shall ever set eyes on her again.
As for you, barber,
it's all too clear what company you keep.
Service them well and hold their custom,
for you'll have none of mine.
- Mr. Todd. You have to help me. - Out.
- Mr. Todd, please. - Out.
- Mr. Todd! - Out!
All this shouting and running about.
- What's happened? - I had him.
The sailor busted in, I know.
And then I saw them both running down the stairs.
I had him!
His throat was bare beneath my hand
- There, there, dear. Calm down. - No, I had him!
His throat was there And he'll never come again!
Easy now. Hush, love, hush
- I'll keep telling you - When?
- What's your rush? - Why did I wait?
You told me to wait! Now he'll never come again!
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
But not for long!
They all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett Tell you why
Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett
There are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one staying put In his proper place
And the one with his foot In the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, look at you!
No, we all deserve to die
Even you, Mrs. Lovett Even I
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us, death will be a relief
We all deserve to die
And I'll never see Johanna
No, I'll never hug my girl to me
Finished!
All right! You, sir. How about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You, sir, too, sir. Welcome to the grave!
I will have vengeance
I will have salvation
Who, sir?
You, sir? No one's in the chair. Come on, come on.
Sweeney's waiting! I want you bleeders.
You, sir! Anybody! Gentlemen, now don't be shy!
Not one man, no, nor ten men
Nor a hundred can assuage me
I will have you
And I will get him back Even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again
But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!
That's all very well, but what are we gonna do about him?
Hello?
Do you hear me?
Come on.
You great useless thing.
Sit down.
There. Drink it down.
Now, we got a body moldering away upstairs.
Now, what do you intend we should do about that, then?
Later on when it's dark,
we'll take it to some secret place and bury it.
Oh, yeah. Course we could do that.
Don't suppose he's got any relatives
that's gonna come poking around looking for him.
Seems a downright shame
Shame?
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame What's his name has
Had, has
Nor it can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift, as a gift
If you get my drift.
Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price of meat what it is
When you get it, if you get it
Good, you got it
Take, for instance Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better using only pussycats and toast
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion Eminently practical
- And yet appropriate as always - Well, it does seem a waste
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you All these years I'll never know!
Think about it
- lots of other gentlemen'll... - How delectable!
- ... soon be coming for a shave - Also undetectable
- Won't they? Think of all them pies! - How choice! How rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?
What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd What is that sound?
Those crunching noises pervading the air?
Yes, Mr. Todd Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around
It's man devouring man, my dear
- And who are we to deny it in here? - And who are we to deny it in here?
These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett.
And desperate measures are called for.
Here we are, hot out of the oven.
What is that?
It's priest Have a little priest
- Is it really good? - Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Awful lot of fat
Only where it sat
Haven't you got poet or something like that?
No, you see the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest
Lawyer's rather nice.
If it's for a price
Order something else, though, to follow Since no one should swallow it twice
Anything that's lean?
Well, then, if you're British and loyal You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though, of course it tastes of wherever it's been
Is that squire on the fire?
Mercy no, sir, look closer You'll notice it's grocer
Looks thicker More like vicar
No, it has to be grocer It's green
The history of the world, my love
Save a lot of graves Do a lot of relatives favors
Is those below serving those up above
Everybody shaves So there should be plenty of flavors
How gratifying for once to know
- That those above - That those above
- will serve those down below! - will serve those down below!
What is that?
It's fop Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily It's served with a doily, have one
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run
Try the friar, fried, it's drier
No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy
Then actor It's compacter
But always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu.
Have charity towards the world, my pet
Yes, yes, I know, my love
We'll take the customers that we can get
High-born and low, my love
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
- We'll serve anyone - Meaning anyone
- And to anyone at all! - And to anyone at all!
So, it's true.
Sir, a gentleman knocks before entering a lady's room.
Indeed he does, but I see no lady.
I told myself the sailor was lying,
that my Johanna would never betray me, never hurt me so.
Sir, I will leave this place.
I think that only appropriate
since you no longer find my company to your liking.
We shall provide you with new lodgings.
Until this moment I have spared the rod.
But the ungrateful child has broken my heart.
When you've learned to appreciate what you have,
perhaps we shall meet again.
Until then
think on your sins.
No!
No, please!
Johanna! Where are you taking her? Tell me or I swear I'II...
You'd kill me, boy? Here I stand!
Johanna!
I feel you
Johanna
I feel you
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window
I am in the dark beside you
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair
Johanna
And are you beautiful and pale
With yellow hair, like her?
I'd want you beautiful and pale
The way I've dreamed you were Johanna
And if you're beautiful what then with yellow hair, like wheat
I think we shall not meet again
My little dove, my sweet Johanna
I'll steal you, Johanna!
Goodbye, Johanna!
You're gone, and yet you're mine
I'm fine, Johanna
- I'm fine! - Johanna
Smoke! Smoke! Sign of the devil Sign of the devil. City on fire!
Witch! Witch! Smell it, sir An evil smell
Every night at the vespers bell
Smoke that comes from the mouth of hell
City on fire!
City on fire
Mischief! Mischief! Mischief!
And if I never hear your voice My turtledove, my dear
I still have reason to rejoice The way ahead is clear
Johanna
I feel
And in that darkness when I'm blind With what I can't forget
Johanna
It's always morning in my mind
My little lamb, my pet, Johanna
- You stay, Johanna... - Johanna
...the way I've dreamed you are
Oh, look, Johanna! A star!
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair
A shooting star!
There, there, somebody, somebody look up there. Didn't I tell you?
Smell that air. City on fire!
Quick, sir, run and tell Warn them all of the witch's spell
There it is, there it is, the unholy smell
Tell it to the Beadle and police as well Tell them! Tell them
Help, fiend! City on fire!
City on fire
Mischief. Mischief.
And though I'll think of you, I guess Until the day I die
I think I miss you less and less As every day goes by
- Johanna - Johanna
And you'd be beautiful and pale And look too much like her
If only angels could prevail We'd be the way we were
- Johanna - I feel you, Johanna
Wake up, Johanna
Another bright red day
We learn, Johanna, to say
Goodbye
I'll steal
you
Ladies and gentlemen May I have your attention, please?
Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling as well
At that delicate luscious ambrosial smell?
Yes, they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course
Ladies and gentlemen You can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Savory and sweet pies As you'll see
You who eat pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Conjure up the treat pies used to be!
- Toby! - Coming!
- Ale there! - Right, ma'am!
Quick, now!
Nice to see you, dearie How have you been keeping?
Cor, me bones is weary Toby! One for the gentleman
Hear the birdies cheeping Helps to keep it cheery
Toby! Throw the old woman out!
What's my secret? Frankly, dear, forgive my candor
Family secret All to do with herbs
Things like being careful with your coriander
That's what makes the gravy grander!
Eat them slow and feel the crust How thin she rolled it
Eat them slow 'cause every one's a prize!
Eat them slow 'cause that's the lot and now we've sold it!
Come again tomorrow!
Hold it!
Bless my eyes!
Fresh supplies!
- How about it, dearie? - Is that a pie...
- Be here in a twinkling! - ... fit for a king
- Just confirms me theory, Toby! - A wondrous sweet
- and most delectable thing? - God watches over us
Didn't have an inkling, positively eerie
You see, ma'am why there's no meat pie
Toby! Throw the old woman out!
Still got to keep an eye on the household expenditure.
Which isn't to say we couldn't get some nice taxidermy animals,
bring a touch of gentility to the place.
You know, a boar's head or two?
- Mr. T? You listening to me? - Of course.
- Then what did I just say? - There must be a way to the Judge.
Judge. Always harping on the bloody old judge.
We got a nice respectable business now.
Money coming in regular-like.
And since we're careful to pick and choose,
strangers, people who won't be missed, who's gonna catch on?
Mr. Todd, I'm so happy
I could eat you up, I really could
You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? What I dream?
If the business stays as good Where I'd really like to go
In a year or so? Don't you want to know?
Of course.
Do you really want to know?
Yes, I do.
By the sea, Mr. Todd That's the life I'll covet
By the sea, Mr. Todd Oh, I know you'd love it
You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone In a house what we'd almost own
- Down by the sea - Anything you say
Wouldn't that be smashing?
Think how snug it'll be Underneath our flannel
When it's just you and me And the English Channel
In our cozy retreat Kept all neat and tidy
We'll have chums over every Friday By the sea
Don't you love the weather by the sea?
We'll grow old together
By the seaside By the beautiful sea
It'll be so quiet that who'll come by it
except a seagull?
We shouldn't try it though, till it's legal for two!
But a seaside wedding could be devised
Me rumpled bedding legitimized
Me eyelids'll flutter, I'll turn into butter The moment I mutter "I do!"
Will you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
You may kiss your bride.
Down by the sea Married nice and proper
By the sea Bring along your chopper
To the seaside By the beautiful sea
I brought you some breakfast, dear.
Mr. T? Can I ask you a question?
What?
What did your Lucy look like?
Can't really remember, can you?
She had yellow hair.
You gotta leave this all behind, you know.
She's gone.
Life is for the alive, my dear.
We could have a life, us two.
Maybe not like I dreamed.
Maybe not like you remember.
But we could get by.
- Mr. Todd! Mrs. Lovett, ma'am? - What is it, Anthony?
- He has her locked in a madhouse. - Johanna.
Fogg's Asylum.
I've circled the place a dozen times. There's no way in. It's a fortress.
- I've got him. - Mr. Todd?
We've got her.
Where do you suppose all the wigmakers
in London go to obtain their hair?
Bedlam.
- They get it from the lunatics at Bedlam. - I don't understand.
We shall set you up as a wigmaker's apprentice.
That'll gain you access. And then you take her.
Go, quickly, go!
Fetch the boy.
Don't you think you should leave the boy behind?
- Toby. Mr. Todd needs you. - Yes, ma'am.
Mr. T?
- Do you know where the Old Bailey is? - Yes, sir. Not that I ever been there.
Take this there. Seek out a Judge Turpin. Repeat that.
Go to Old Bailey. Find Judge Turpin.
You put that into his hands. Only to him, you understand?
Yes, sir.
And while I'm out, do you mind if I stop by the grocer just to pick...
No. You're not to stop, you're not to speak.
You're to deliver the letter. Do you understand?
Yes, sir.
Where you been, lad?
We had quite the rush at dinner time. Me poor bones is ready to drop.
Mr. Todd sent me on an errand.
And on the way back,
I went by the workhouse, just to take a look.
And I was thinking, but for you, I'd be there now.
Or someplace worse.
Seems like the good Lord sent you for me.
Oh, love, I feel quite the same way.
Listen to me, please.
You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you.
Say, if there were someone around,
someone bad?
Only you didn't know it.
What is this? What are you talking about?
Nothing's gonna harm you Not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you No, sir, not while I'm around
What do you mean "someone bad"?
Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays
I'll send them howling, I don't care I got ways
Hush, darling, there's no need for this.
No one's gonna hurt you No one's gonna dare
Others can desert you Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there
Demons will charm you With a smile
For a while, but in time
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around
That's nice, dear.
Now, what is all this foolishness? What are you talking about?
Little things that I've been thinking about Mr. Todd.
Not to worry, not to worry I may not be smart, but I ain't dumb
I can do it, put me to it Show me something I can overcome
Not to worry, ma'am
Being close and being clever Ain't like being true
I don't need to, I won't never Hide a thing from you
Like some
Now, Toby, dear, haven't we had enough of this foolish chatter?
Here.
How about I give you a nice shiny new penny
and you go get us some toffees?
That's Signor Pirelli's purse!
No, it's not. Just something Mr. T gave me for my birthday.
That proves it! We gotta go, ma'am.
We gotta find the Beadle and get the law here!
Toby. Hush, lad, you're not going anywhere.
You just sit here, nice and quiet, next to me. That's right, right.
How could you think such a thing of Mr. Todd?
He's been so good to us.
Nothing's gonna harm you Not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you, darling Not while I'm around
Demons'll charm you with a smile For a while
But in time
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around
Funny we should be having this little chat right now.
'Cause I was just thinking...
You know how you've always fancied coming into the bake house with me
- to help make the pies? - Yes, ma'am.
Well, no time like the present, eh?
I feel bad for you, going up and down all these stairs.
- Well, that'll be your job now. - Yes, ma'am.
Quite a stink, ain't there?
You see those grates?
They go right down to the sewers, and the smells come up.
Always a few rats gone home to Jesus down there.
Now, this'll be the bake oven. Three dozen at a time.
Always be sure the door is closed properly, like this.
- Door's closed properly. - This is a grinder.
Pop in the meat. Give it a good grind.
Pops out there.
You try.
Good grind.
Comes out there.
That's my boy.
I'm just gonna pop upstairs, back in two shakes, all right?
You mind if I have a pie while I wait?
As many as you like, son.
Yes, sir, I agree.
It would be to our mutual interest
to come to some arrangement in regard to my poor children's hair.
Brunettes.
Redheads.
I keep the blondes in here.
It was yellow hair you was looking for, sir?
Yes.
- That one there has the shade I need. - Come, child.
Smile for the gentleman and you shall have a sweetie.
Now, where shall I cut?
Not another word, Mr. Fogg, or it will be your last.
Now, I leave you to the mercy of your children.
I got him locked in. But if he escapes, he'll go to the law.
- Then he won't escape. - I don't know, Mr. Todd.
The Judge'll be here soon.
'Scuse me, sir. Gave me a fright.
Not my intention, good madam. I assure you.
Though I am here on official business.
You see, there's been some complaints about the stink from your chimney.
They say at night it is something most foul.
Health regulations and the general public welfare
naturally being my duty,
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a look
at your bakehouse.
Of course, sir.
But first, why don't you come upstairs? Let me pamper you.
Much as I do appreciate tonsorial doormen
I really ought to see to my official obligations first.
I completely understand.
If you'll indulge me, sir, what is that exotic aroma?
Me secret, is a touch of ambergris.
Dare I offer you something a tad more appropriate
for a gentleman of your standing?
The ladies will greatly appreciate it, sir.
You're the expert in these matters.
Only take a moment.
Would you like a bit of bay rum, sir?
Bay rum is very bracing.
Let me out! Please, let me out!
Let me out!
Toby?
Where is he?
Toby, where are you, love?
Toby?
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around
Toby?
Where are you hiding?
Toby?
Nothing's gonna harm you, darling
Not while I'm around
Toby?
Mr. Todd!
You wait for him here.
I'll return with a coach in less than half an hour.
Don't worry. No one'll recognize you. You're safe now.
Safe? So, we run away and then all our dreams come true?
I hope so.
I've never had dreams. Only nightmares.
Johanna,
when we're free of this place all the ghosts will go away.
No, Anthony. They never go away.
I'll be right back to you. Half an hour and we'll be free.
Beadle! Beadle!
No good hiding, I saw you
Are you in there still, Beadle? Beadle?
Beadle, dear Beadle?
Beadle deedle deedle deedle deedle dumpling
Beadle dumpling...
Who are you? What are you doing here?
Evil is here, sir.
The stink of evil, from below, from her! Oh, she's the Devil's wife.
Beware her, sir. She with no pity in her heart.
Don't I know you, mister?
Mr. Todd?
Where is she?
Below, Your Honor. With my neighbor.
Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her.
Thank heavens, too, she has seen the error of her ways.
- She has? - Oh, yes.
Your lesson was well-learned.
She speaks only of you. Longing for forgiveness.
Then she shall have it.
- She'll be here soon, you say? - Yes.
Excellent, my friend.
How about a shave?
Sit, sir. Sit.
- Oh, pretty women - Pretty women, yes
Johanna, Johanna
Pretty women Pretty women are a wonder
Pretty women!
What we do for pretty women!
- Blowing out their candles - Blowing out their candles
- Or combing out their hair - Or combing out their hair
Then they leave
- Even when they leave - Even when they leave you and vanish
- They still are there - They somehow can still remain
- There with you, there - They're there
How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit.
With fellow tastes in women, at least.
What's that?
The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir.
But then, I suppose the face of a barber,
the face of a prisoner, a dog, is not particularly memorable.
Benjamin Barker.
Benjamin Barker!
Rest now, my friend
Rest now forever
Sleep now the untroubled
Sleep of the angels
Come for a shave, have you, lad?
No, I...
Everyone needs a good shave.
Forget my face.
Die! God in heaven, die!
You.
Why did you scream?
He was clutching onto me dress, but he's finished now.
I'll take care of it. Open the door.
Open the door, I said.
"Don't I know you?" she said.
You knew she lived.
I was only thinking of you.
You lied to me.
No, no, not lied at all No, I never lied
- Lucy... - Said she took a poison
she did, never said that she died
- I've come home again - Poor thing, she lived
But it left her weak in the head
All she did for months was just lie there in bed
Should've been in hospital
Wound up in Bedlam instead Poor thing!
- Better you should think she was dead - Oh, my God!
Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!
- I'd be twice the wife she was! - Lucy...
- I love you! - What have I done?
Could that thing have cared for you like me?
Mrs. Lovett, you're a bloody wonder Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always As you've said repeatedly
There's little point in dwelling on the past
- Now, come here, my love... - Do you mean it?
Everything I did, I swear, I thought
- was only for the best - Not a thing to fear
- my love, what's dead Is dead - Can we still be married?
The history of the world, my pet
Oh, Mr. Todd, oh, Mr. Todd Leave it to me
Is learn forgiveness and try to forget
By the sea, Mr. Todd We'll be comfy-cozy
By the sea, Mr. Todd Where there's no one nosy
And life is for the alive, my dear So let's keep living it
- Just keep living it, really living it! - Just keep living it, really living it!
There was a barber and his wife
And she was beautiful
A foolish barber and his wife
She was his reason and his life
And she was beautiful
And she was virtuous
And he was...