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In the ancient land of the Amazons near China...
Where men were sold as slaves
with rings and bells around their necks...
were insultingly called Dumbbells.
Sell off all these Dumbbells and I'm done with my debts.
Really, men are quite useful.
They can carry heavy loads, bring up babies, cook dinner...
Even give you foot and body massages
And should you want a child...
Pick yourself a handsome stud.
Just don't fall in love with him.
Because here in the land of the Amazons, all men are slaves.
There's not one single man in the palace.
The Queen just hates them.
Howdy! The 13th Young Master is here today doing her first solo.
And see what I got for you.
Voila, the crown jewel of my shop...
A merchandize that I've lavished much care and attention.
Here we are, 18 year old Hardy Hard.
C'mon over and see for yourself.
Look at his skin. See how smooth it is.
Feel it. See how supple.
Hardy Hard, turn around and show the ladies.
He cooks, washes your dirty linen,
picks up after you and never complains.
Since we're having our summer sales...
I'll let you steal him for just two gold coins.
I give you three!
The merchandize goes to the highest bidder, naturally.
Thank you, boss!
What are you doing?
No, please.
What do you mean? Is my money no good?
Fret not, my boss. I'll take care of it.
Do you want to die or what?
No.
Look at her face, and that mole.
And that hair growing on it. I just can't.
Picky, aren't you? Perhaps you'd prefer a queen?
Oh just let me die!
Wait a second. Why are you being so silly?
Look at me.
Am I pretty?
Yes.
Is she pretty?
Yes.
Please let me go. It's only business to you.
Just pick any Dumbbell.
I give you a thousand gold coins.
Stop! Hold it right there!
Where's the stone plaque?
Crouching Tiger, the stone plaque that you asked me to steal from the palace...
Is right here.
According to our plan, we'll meet in three days' time...
When twice bloom flowers blossom, Star of Rex appears...
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reign.
When twice bloom flowers blossom, Star of Rex appears...
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reign.
All my Dumbells have run. Get them now!
Did you see my Dumbbells?
Yes, ljust got a couple.
Give them back here!
Don't you run away from me!
What's wrong with you? You're such a scumbag.
You took my Dumbbells and you hit me!
You're a pain, you know that?
Give me back my Dumbbells and I'II leave you alone.
I told you I never saw them. Stop it or I'II kick your ass!
Picking a fight, aren't you? I'm not afraid of you!
Who is she?
That's none of your business.
Did you do that?
The wound doesn't look like your work.
What's your problem? Mission accomplished.
What is it?
We got two back. The others got away.
These two? They're just skin and bones.
Beats not getting any.
You can't even make soup with them!
So you're the 13th Young Master?
What? Have you come to apologize and mend your ways?
You've ruined my business.
Give me back my Dumbbells!
Oh, Marshal Edo Bowman.
Fancy seeing you here.
So you still remember me.
Of course!
Of course I remember you, it's just...
I'm a little short on cash these days.
That's okay.
I want you to find someone for me.
If you succeed, we'll forget about your debts.
Really?
Who are you looking for?
It's a man.
An exceptionally important man.
I suppose he's handsome?
He's really very special, absolutely extraordinary.
A perfect match for the Marshal.
What's his name?
He's an actor, performing on the outskirts of town.
Underground performances, illegal stuff.
How do I find him?
He's very special. He has a particular scent of a man.
What scent of a man?
Well, it's...
Different from all the other men these days. It's...
different.
Any discernable marks or characteristics?
Yes!
When he sees a pretty girl, his ears will...
Go pop and turn red.
Marshal, you look so much in love.
That's it.
Find him and bring him back to me, you understand that?
What about my Dumbbells?
Temporarily confiscated.
Find me that man...
And I return every one of themto you.
13th Young Master, help! Save me!
What I lose today...
I shall win back tomorrow!
Red Vulture.
Did you ask help from the Wild Wolves tribe?
Yes I did.
As the Court's lmperial Enforcer...
You must not collaborate with such barbarians.
But what does it matter, High Priest?
I've accomplished all your missions.
But not by any unjust means.
How dare you lecture me? Show some respect!
You show some respect!
You're just an Enforcer, you listen to my orders!
I only listen to a woman's orders,
never a man's.
Besides...
You're not even a real man.
Blue Bird, move aside!
High Priest, please spare her life.
From now on, you're no more lmperial Enforcer.
Your Majesty.
As Commander of the Palace Guards...
Where were you...
When burglars broke into the Palace's secret chambers?
Your Majesty...
I was at the city gate supervising work on the city walls.
Besides, Your Majesty's ordered that...
secret chambers are off limits.
After all it's just a piece of stone.
Shut up!
I know where you were. You were at the whorehouse.
I now sentence you to death!
Your Majesty...
Take her away and kill her!
Yes, your Majesty!
Couples, how disgusting.
Her Majesty is getting more perverse every day.
When twice bloom flowers blossom, Star of Rex appears...
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reign.
So? Is anyone of them the Star of Rex?
No, neither.
Kill them!
This is the only person left on the family tree of the previous dynasty.
So he must be our Star of Rex.
I'm just worried that the plaque will fall into the hands of Star of Rex.
And if he solves the riddle and finds the Excalibur...
That'll be real trouble.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon's rebe
But they may not know the identity of Star of Rex.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon may not know,
but the plaque does.
That thing is spiritual, it'II find its Star of Rex.
We follow the plaque and we'II find Star of Rex.
Say we find it, then what?
It's his destiny to take your throne.
Do you want to die?
Why don't you just kill me?
How can I? I haven't hated you enough.
Your Majesty, she's your sister.
Are you feeling pain?
It's my fault...
Oh no.
Your wound... Don't touch me!
Don't ever touch me.
I don't want anything...
...That you've laid your hands on.
Sis, the prophecy says...
We can win the world if we marry the Emperor.
You can't possibly give up the world for love.
No, I can.
For me Wei Liao is the world.
Wei Liao!
Ya Ge?
Then she is...
You're Ya Ting?
You'II suffer for the rest of your life!
There's been an attempt on His Majesty's life!
From now on...
I want all men...
To live their lives in shame and misery...
Under my rule of fear!
Trace the stone plaque.
The eagle will lead you to the thief.
The Amazons got him on his left arm...
...When they tried to arrest him.
When you find him, inform me immediately.
Yes, Your Highness.
Ready!
1, 2, 3, go!
I'm sorry. One more time.
What's the matter with you?
I'm sorry. I miscalculated.
Are you alright?
Punks!
You're not getting any dinner tonight.
Where's Peachy? I don't know.
The show's starting, where the hell is the leading lady?
Melon Seed, go put on Peachy's costume.
Master Blackwood, I promise I'll deliver this time.
One more time.
Once upon a time there were twin fairies.
The God wanted them to be his concubines.
But the younger sister seemed troubled...
Just made it! Where were you?
Master Blackwood was looking for you.
Your hand...
It's nothing. I'm okay.
I'm making big money with Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon?
The one who is wanted by the authorities?
He's great.
Three days later I'm going to Leaping Tiger Cliff to give it to him.
And I'm coming back no more.
This is... Don't touch it! It's worth a lot of money.
Punk! Where the hell were you? You're late!
What's worth a lot of money? You...
You're on. Go get changed!
Ready... 1, 2, 3...
When he sees a pretty girl, his ears...
Go pop and turn red.
Am I pretty?
Yes.
What's the big idea?
Master Blackwood, will you read my fortune?
Read your fortune? You're on!
Please, it's very important.
What can be so important?
Marriage.
Go see it for yourself.
A white horse.
Man and beast don't match. This way.
Master Blackwood, it's so accurate!
Accurate, eh? Accurate!
Are you happy now? Happy!
Good. Now get to work. Sure
Am I pretty?
Yeah.
I'm asking you seriously.
Yes.
Put some emotion into it!
Yes, real pretty!
Scram!
Let's go on.
Weiwei, but you said you only love me!
Damn!
Who the hell do you think you are? You're...
Sis, I got nothing to do with it.
She's cast a spell...
I'm not listening, I'm not.
I hate you!
You've really made a mistake.
I don't want it.
I don't want anything that you've touched.
Charcoal Head!
Please let me stay with you.
I won't let any man come close to me.
Alright, since you hate men so much...
I'Iljust cut it off!
Everyone stay here!
Who said you could put on such hideous farces?
What is it?
Arrest them!
Yes!
Run, son! Run!
Stop!
I'm sorry.
Hiding there.
Come out!
Come out now!
Thank you.
I'd thought you've already found the plaque!
Have some bread.
Give me the stone plaque.
I see you're a person of substance.
After I get the Excalibur, I'll make you High Priestess.
And we'll set forth and conquer the world.
We don't travel on the same road.
Alright. You stay a royal servant.
What is it?
Peachy gave it to me yesterday. It's a secret.
He asked me to go with him tomorrow to give it to...
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
And we'll make loads of money.
Do you really think this piece of rock can make us rich?
Gems!
We're rich.
This is a map.
Isn't it River Doei?
I know it. This is a treasure map.
The gem's position is where the treasure is hidden.
I know it, that's the...
Where's Block Head? Let's grill a fish for him.
Where's Charcoal Head?
Where're his things?
Gugu, you tell me.
They're taking the stone plaque to look for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Said they're looking for treasure.
Looking for treasure? What treasure?
Look, it's done.
It doesn't seem right.
Try it again.
Charcoal Head.
Nice weather.
I am Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
A woman?
A white horse?
I'm gorgeous, of course I should be riding a white horse.
You came to see our show.
We underground people must be careful.
This is part of the routine.
Right.
Now give me the map.
Where's Peachy? How come I didn't see him?
I told himto look for another treasure. He's struck gold.
How lucky he is.
Big brother, please take me with you.
I always travel alone.
Big brother, you can't figure it out.
I do big things.
Such trivialities I always leave to my underlings.
We are your underlings.
Let us worry about these burdens.
But please take us with you.
Are you threatening me?
You can come with me and lead the way.
Who are you?
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
You're Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? What about her?
Slug it out, and the winner...
is Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Ah, you came just in time.
In fact we both are Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Me Crouching Tiger, she Hidden Dragon.
We're sisters.
You're after the treasure, aren't you? Let's work together.
We shouldn't be competing.
We are good sisters!
What's that moustache?
It's hip, you know?
Would you like half of it?
Let's go.
When we find the treasure, do we also get a share?
You get ten percent.
Are you crazy? That's way too generous!
Put them on.
We said we'd be your underlings
but nothing about Dumbbells.
Right, we are not Dumbbells.
Ignoramus.
It's against the law for a man to walk on the streets.
This is called disguise.
Go.
First thing first. I found out about this first.
So if we find any treasure, I get the bigger share.
Sure.
I take 70% and you 30%.
Sure.
No, should be 80 and 20.
Sure.
Why are you so generous?
Don't you get clever on me, I'm very smart.
I want to sell them off like Dumbbells.
Right. We're in the same trade. I almost forgot.
The prettier one... I already have a client for him.
Sure, no problem.
Are you hungry?
Hey you two. Yes.
Get me a rabbit for dinner.
Right away!
Over here. Over there.
I said over there. They're over there too!
Are you okay?
Does it hurt?
Can we not eat him?
He's injured, and he looks so cute.
Poor thing. Sure we won't eat him.
We just eat you!
You're so useless. Now what do we do for dinner?
You're not so bad when it comes to fighting.
But you're no match for me when it comes to men.
I thought you're a professional.
I trade Dumbbells, I can't be serious.
Right! Men, flirt with them and leave them.
But I see you're catching some sparks...
...from that piece of charcoal.
Have you fallen in love with him?
You're crazy.
What're you afraid of? We women we do what we like.
I have zero interest about that charcoal.
You don't want him, then I do.
Be my guest.
I sure will.
Louder, show more excitement.
The truth is, Crouching Tiger she...
Master Crouching Tiger, the bed is prepared.
Is there anything else? Can I be of further service?
What's your best shot?
Bathing Mandarin ducks.
What else?
My burning lips of passion...
And...
That's enough.
I'm glad that my stomach wasn't so full today.
That's alright, you can go.
Since you're here, why don't you let me rub your back?
That won't be necessary.
I'm really good at it.
C'mon, try it.
I said no.
I hate cheap men.
Brother Dragon, are you still mad at me?
Don't be so petty.
Brother Tiger, me getting mad over a man?
You don't know me. I'mthinking about the treasure.
Big bucks!
We're ready.
Come here.
What're you doing? Who do you think you are?
Put them on! You're a block of wood.
Cheer up, young man.
That's women for you, they don't say what they feel.
Here comes the bread. Tastes better when it's hot.
Thank you.
Have some bread.
I hate bread.
Why?
It's just food. It hasn't offended you, has it?
Right?
Hey beautiful!
My middle name's Gorgeous, mind ifljoin you?
In fact I do.
I don't care, I'm sitting down.
You're pretty hip, old lady.
Your moustache is just super sexy.
The beautiful lady has exquisite tastes. Let me tell you...
I got this from the shop next door.
And this is 100% real hair.
Look at these two Dumbbells! How cute!
Do you want to sell them?
I'll buy them from you.
No, we're not... Who asked you?
We're not selling.
Hey lady, you're a bit too old...
For these two Dumbbells.
Let me tell you.
I'm Her Majesty's secret agent on a mission...
I amto take them back to the palace.
Her Majesty's secret agent? Do you have any proofs?
Here, take a good look at it.
A piece of biscuit? Her Majesty's secret agent?
My foot!
Who are you?
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Another Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
An imposter!
I'm sorry, I have offended you.
Please drink this wine and accept my apologies.
Forget it.
Didn't you just say...
One of those punks was the Star of Rex?
Then he's the future king!
Right. According to the prophecy...
This stone plaque can cause the Star of Rex to appear...
Find the Haunted City, get the Excalibur, overthrow the Evil Queen...
And save us men from her oppression.
My mission is to protect the Star of Rex and get the Excalibur.
That's great!
He's great!
You will become King, don't worry about it.
I'm not so sure.
What's all this excitement?
It's just talk. Nobody knows if it's real or not.
Overthrow the Evil Queen? Can you two fight?
Forget it.
Pack your things and come back to the troupe with me.
At least you'II have a steady life.
Go on, get your things.
Master Blackwood.
Master Blackwood, Master Blackwood...
Stop this nonsense! I'm not talking to you anymore.
Master Blackwood...
Will you calm down and listen to me?
Can I have a light?
I don't smoke.
Am I pretty?
Are you two going to pack or not?
Rotten fools, they almost ruined me.
You are not Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
You want your treasure, right? Does it matter whom you go with?
Look, they are dumb and nasty.
They can't tell who's good and who's bad.
Let's go.
It's not nice to leave Master Blackwood like this, is it?
Look how much fun they are now having.
When I become king,
Master Blackwood won't have to worry any more.
This stuff very useful!
Hypnotic incense. All Dumbbell traders have it.
Don't you?
Here you go.
We can go now.
Then get a move on.
C'mon.
Charcoal Head, ifl become king...
We men don't have to be slaves no more.
But maybe you'll become king.
I'm sure it's you.
Let me help you.
The royal treasure... it should worth loads of money.
I don't know we're on such intimate terms, get away from me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not fawning on you.
Do you think I want to be Queen?
No I don't. It's so tiring.
Oh how corny.
You want it like mad, admit it.
I am a woman of ambitions.
Blockhead knows me best.
I really hate aggressive people.
Don't you know it's against the law to touch a woman?
I'm going to chop off your hand!
We're entering the Haunted City.
What Haunted City? I don't see any ghost.
You're a ghost, aren't you?
I'm a beautiful ghost.
Don't be afraid. I'll protect you.
Get up the tree.
What is this place? It gives me the creeps.
It's the Haunted City.
Haunted? Oh my God, I hate ghosts.
Keep it down, you're waking up all the ghosts.
Hold on to me!
Not too tight!
Give me the plaque.
Red Vulture!
Run!
Why do you want to save me?
Even though we have different ambitions.
But we have grown up together like sisters.
You never understood me.
Is it so important to become an Empress?
If I cannot become one...
...during this lifetime,
...I will never be a happy ghost!
Hold on, don't let go.
Red Vulture!
I don't want to die so young.
Don't worry, we won't die.
What ifl did?
Remember to hold on to my hand.
I'm afraid that, a mortal soul, all alone...
So you're human?
Right! We are...
The Cavemen.
I am Palupa.
I am Kakuka.
You laugh I laugh.
You cry I cry.
You nasty I nasty.
You kill I kill.
You hug we hug.
Laugh.
We want to laugh.
Go on, laugh.
Can you be serious?
You're just hopeless!
I told you to hold on.
It's you.
I always tell you to eat more but you never listen.
Shut up! Shut up!
Are you screwing with me?
Let's go look for Charcoal Head.
Our ancestors used to live on the northern steppes.
We were a carefree people. We laughed when we felt like laughing...
We cried when we felt like crying.
We loved our work. We worked hard in the day...
And partied hard at night.
But the Queen got jealous.
She wouldn't let us have love.
So we hide out in these caves...
And try to go on with our lives.
But we're always hiding and running...
And we become strange, weird, mad...
And we're afraid of the sun.
We must take revenge...
Calm down, Palupa! Calm down!
Revenge! Revenge!
Are they yours?
Yes, thank you.
And this?
What is it? How pretty.
Don't touch it!
Charcoal Head.
It's too foggy. It really gives me the creeps.
Let's wait for the fog to disperse.
Charcoal Head!
Lean on to the rocks, it's safer.
Blockhead...
It's us.
You?
I thought the monsters had you for lunch.
They're not monsters, they're the Cavemen.
They're real fun.
What're you doing holding hands?
I see you two hugging real tight.
Are we on intimate terms?
What? You're taking advantage of me.
It's real foggy here. What is this place?
Look, a door. Right.
I think we found it, the entrance to the Grave of a Thousand Armies.
Great! We found it!
How do we open it?
This is it!
Do we need the stone plaque?
What on earth is this place?
Never mind. Let's go.
Look at all these weapons.
Where are the treasures?
Isn't there supposed to be an Excalibur?
There're all these swords, how can we tell?
Someone's coming. Run!
C'mon! Run!
That guy, he's bad news!
What is it? A pond and four walls...
Is that it?
It's fun.
Look.
That's me.
Something from my past!
Cheated!
Pay up!
You're a cheat!
You even cheated your own people!
What?
Cheated your own people?
What?
Look, there's a sword.
Right!
There's really a sword.
So you're king and I'm queen.
We're going to be rich, aren't we?
Let's not get carried away and be modest.
You don't look like an ordinary warrior.
I'm Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon of the Zhengyang tribe.
I'm Lord of Armoury of the former dynasty,
Weicheng.
Damn, I put my money on the wrong guy.
Did I ever say I'm a king?
It's you yourself who want to be queen?
Don't start picking on me because you can't be king!
Thank God I didn't put my body into the bargain.
I could never have forgiven myself.
Say that again.
You've said it once, say it again.
C'mon, Blockhead, let's forget it.
Charcoal Head!
That's fluke. No way you're the Star of Rex.
Now drop the sword.
I never wanted it in the first place.
Blockhead, I really didn't mean it.
Put it back!
Blue Bird
Trace the stone plaque...
When you find him, inform me immediately.
Yes, your Highness.
So you're a spy.
Don't let her get away!
Are you okay?
Why...
Let go of Charcoal Head!
You work for your country, and I for mine.
All this time you've been lying to me.
I'm sorry.
You want this sword? Here, take it.
I don't want it!
The Star of Rex has appeared, we're saved.
From now on you are in charge.
It really hurts.
Charcoal Head!
It wasn't intentional, ljust couldn't...
Just leave.
Leave.
Leave!
I don't want to be king!
King? Bullshit!
You just want money.
Younger sister just told me...
The real Star of Rex has got the Excalibur.
Don't worry, I have it all worked out.
I'll get the Star of Rex and the Excalibur
To rule the world and govern the people...
One must be ruthless.
You need that personality to master the Excalibur.
A kid still wet at the ears and he thinks...
He can challenge because he has the sword?
He's digging his own grave.
Say no more, your eyes have already betrayed you.
You failed your mission because you got emotionally involved.
I am no good.
Just go.
Her Majesty is so nasty
why do you still stay with her?
I think there's nothing more natural than
to serve the person you love.
13th Master, are you not feeling well?
Don't be so cheap!
It's my heart which is sick.
Really? Then we must play doctor and patient.
I'll be the doctor. Now cough.
Get lost!
What doctor and patient? You're full of crap.
His name is He Who Rides the Waves.
He just got here two days ago. See what lovely skin he has.
Greet the lady.
He who Rides the Waves, how charming.
Drink up!
Get me another boy!
You don't have to be so nasty.
Just pretend that nothing ever happened, and consider me...
One of those heartless playboys.
That's better.
I have no money and I'm not a king.
I'm just a gigolo.
Just drink.
You really enjoy wallowing in filth, don't you?
You're so fake.
You just wanted to sell me off like any dumbbell.
Right. I just love money.
Don't you?
Good.
I'm selling you off to fatso Marshal Edo Bowman.
And I'll be rich for the rest of my life.
C'mon, let's go.
Sure, let's go.
Well, go.
Go.
Fancy seeing you here.
Marshal Edo Bowman.
Have you found that man for me?
Or should I consider your business confiscated?
Of course I've found him.
Where is he?
Bowman.
I'm here. Let's go.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
Go! I told you to go!
Stop it right there!
I'm your dream lover.
Take me away and give 13th Young Master back her business.
Shut up!
How dare you speak to me like that?
Do you think you can send me away with just any man?
Isn't he the man you want?
Well...
He does have a certain manness.
I'll take him, considering that interest.
You wish!
He's mine.
Have you fallen in love with a Dumbbell?
Yes.
I fell in love with a Dumbbell, so what?
A Dumbbell trader falling with love with a Dumbbell...
What's so funny? Is there a law against it?
You can forget about your business, it's confiscated.
Be my guest. I don't want it anyway.
Now you're poor like me.
Says who? I have you.
I only have to sell you...
And I'll be rich again.
You don't mind?
No, I don't mind.
What're you doing here?
I want to tell you I'm no longer a servant of the Queen.
And please tell Charcoal Head...
That even with the Excalibur, he's still no match for the Queen.
Tell him not to get himself killed.
Never mind if it's true or not, we must tell Charcoal Head.
Okay? C'mon!
Dressed like this?
But I'm gorgeous, am I not?
Yes, just hurry.
I knew she'd fallen for the Star of Rex.
Take themto the secret chamber.
I've known it all along...
That you'd fall for the Star of Rex.
Do you want to use her as bait?
High Priest, please spare him.
He is no match for the Queen.
I want the Excalibur.
So you want to be king.
What king?
When twice bloom flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears...
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reign.
Twice bloomflower...
It blossoms and dies at my command.
Elder sister, it's all my fault.
Wei Liao never betrayed you.
Please forgive him.
Forgive him?
Elder sister...
I'm sorry.
There's no turning back for me.
Only you understand me.
Take it from me, you two...
When there's love, there's also hatred.
Leaders of the tribes...
The Star of Rex has got the Excalibur.
Tomorrow we attack the Kingdom of Amazons...
And overthrow the Evil Queen.
You want us to follow the Star of Rex into war?
But look at him...
He's a bit hen pecked, but he sure lives well.
People get killed in wars.
Getting killed is not so bad.
You can't imagine how horrible it is...
If you end up like me.
Master Blackwood, is that you?
Help me.
I know everything about you.
ljust want to say a few words to everyone.
Who are you?
I am not human.
I am a freak.
What are you talking about?
Charcoal Head, don't be afraid.
Now that you've seen...
What the Evil Queen has done to me.
To change men into women...
She experimented a sex change operation on me.
And I ended up neither man nor woman.
If you keep sitting on the fence...
The next freak may well be you!
You! You! Or you!
We'll attack from both sides.
For King and Country, we'II give our lives!
Charcoal Head!
Blockhead.
Master Blackwood.
I'm sorry.
Never mind that.
The Queen's got Blue Bird and 13th Young Master.
Charcoal Head, a good king...
Does not think only about himself.
Good!
Since we dare to come here, we are prepared to die.
Formations!
Hold it!
Edo Bowman!
This man here, I'II not spare him!
I miss you so much!
I'd never see you again in this life.
Stop crying. You don't look so pretty when you cry.
Your ears, they are still so sexy.
Hush, there are people here.
Marshal, are we going into battle or not?
No...
Yes! We must!
We're joining our forces.
After we overthrow the Evil Queen...
We can go back to live a normal life.
Don't worry.
We're overthrowing the Evil Queen, not women in general.
There'll be equality between men and women, and freedomfor everyone.
There'll be romance, and we'II dare to love and hate.
Alright!
Alright! Down with the Evil Queen!
Alright!
The Queen's casting her spell! Run for cover!
Run!
Hurry!
Go where there's sunshine! Quick!
I'm not going anywhere!
I want to be with you even if I die.
I don't care what we change into, I'm not leaving.
Your Majesty, the palace is just behind this gate.
What is it? It hurts.
13th Young Master!
Blue Bird!
13th Young Master!
Blue Bird!
13th Young Master!
Blue Bird!
Have you gone mad?
What're you doing?
Hey! What're you doing?
Charcoal Head, don't!
Charcoal Head!
Hold on! Charcoal Head!
Don't...
Charcoal Head!
Are you okay?
Blue Bird, I'm Charcoal Head.
13th Young Master, were you attaced by the spell?
13th Young Master, will you stop this? I'm Blockhead!
Blue Bird, No!
Charcoal Head, what are you doing on the floor?
What's going on?
You were under a spell and tried to kill us.
It hurts.
You were grabbing me like a lunatic.
What lunatic? Why should I grab you?
Blue Bird...
Oh no!
Be awake!
It hurts.
Are you okay?
Someone put me inside a sack and beat up on me.
Look, I'm bruised all over.
It's Blockhead...
Are you two okay?
I should be asking you.
You're so disgusting. Stop it and let's get out ofhere.
Charcoal Head, get the Excalibur.
Don't let it fall into the Queen's hands.
Charcoal Head! Charcoal Head...
Blockhead, get some fire to save Charcoal Head!
You go get the sword.
I'll stall the Queen. Quick!
Charcoal Head! Charcoal Head...
Go away!
Are you okay, Charcoal Head?
Charcoal Head.
It's freezing... Charcoal Head.
Are you okay?
Hold on!
Charcoal Head!
We can do it... We can do it.
C'mon! We can do it.
Charcoal Head, don't!
Can't give him up?
Are you giving up the world for someone who's lied to you?
Even give up your own life?
Charcoal Head, don't mind me! Bring the sword down on us!
I don't want to die!
Another useless man.
Wei Liao.
Show him how to lift the sword...
And castrate himself, just like you did.
Then perhaps I'II spare his life.
She's prepared to die for you.
If you don't kill the Queen with the Excalibur...
Her hatred will torture Blue Bird for all eternity.
That's right, sacrifice yourself for love.
Charcoal Head, don't give the sword to Wei Liao.
He wants to be king!
So you've been lying to me?
Have you always been lying to me?
It's now or never.
You've been lying to me!
Close your eyes, I'II help you.
Pick up the sword.
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
This is the only way...
To change you back into Ya Ge.
Don't be afraid.
I'll always be by your side.
I'll never leave you.
Never.
I never lied to you.
Not even once.
It doesn't matter what we change into...
Do you mind getting off me?
I can't take it anymore.
Change... change into what?
No...
No!
Charcoal Head must have won.
I'm okay!
That Charcoal Head, he's really something.
Giving up his throne to enjoy life...
And leaving me the kingdomto administer.
Yeah, it's great.
I never thought I could just fold my arms and do nothing.
How about this? We work alternate days.
No way.
Physical labor, that's man's work.
No.
Better make a prince quickly to share some of the work.
Sure, when?
How about now?
Now? Right.
How? With all these people watching.
What does it matter? I'm king.
Good enough? No.
The future is in the hand of these young people.
Isn't it beautiful?
Yes, but a little cold.
We're almost there.
They've given birth to twins.
That won't do, we must do something about it.
Get out of here!
Why are you with me? Don't you want to be king?
You know.
Tell me again, lest I forget.
Because I love you.
I love you so much that I don't have time to be king.
You fool, let's go.
Sure!
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