Before ttme began, there was the cube'
We know not where it comes from,
only that it holds the power to create worlds and ftll them with ltfe'
That ts how our race was born'
For a ttme, we lived tn harmony,
but ltke all great power' some wanted it for good, others for evtl'
And so began the war'
a war that ravaged ourplanet unttl it was consumed by death,
and the cube was lost to the far reaches ofspace'
We scattered across the galaxy, hoptng to ftnd it and rebutld our home,
searchtng every star' every world'
Andjust when all hope seemed lost, message ofa new dtscovery drew us
to an unknown planet called Earth'
But we were already too late'
oh, God, five months of this.
I can't wait to get a IittIe taste of home.
A pIate of mama's aIIigators etouffee'
You've been taIking about barbecued 'gators and crickets
for the Iast two weeks. I'm never going to your mama's house, Fig. I promise.
But Bobby, Bobby, 'gators are known to have the most succuIent meat.
I understand.
EngIish, pIease. EngIish.
I mean, how many times have we... We don't speak Spanish. I toId you that.
Why you got to ruin it for me, man? That's my heritage.
Go with the Spanish. Whatever.
Hey, you guys remember weekends? Huh? The Sox at Fenway.
-CoId hotdog and a fIat beer. -Perfect day.
What about you, Captain? You got a perfect day?
I just can't wait to hoId my baby girI for the first time.
-He's adorabIe. -That's too...
Shut up!
Hey, I'm ready to do this.
Hey, any of y'aII grow some baIIs, come see me on the court, man.
Hey, hey!
Watch this crossover, baby.
Like Jordan in his prime, pushing through the front Iine.
-Step aside, Iadies. -oh, man. What?
-Lennox! -Hey, what are you doing?
-Water? -Thank you.
Are you gonna heIp me with the gear?
CoIoneI Sharp, we have an inbound unidentified infiItrator, 10 miIes out.
Untdenttfted atrcraft, you are tn restrtcted US mtlitary atrspace'
Squawk ident and proceed east out of the area.
Raptors one and two, snap to heading two-five-zero to intercept.
Bogie is in the weeds ten miIes out, not squawking.
Unidentified aircraft, we wiII escort you to US SoCCENT airbase.
If you do not compIy, we wiII use deadIy force.
Copy the bogie.
Tatl 4500 X-ray'
Sir, says here 4500 X was shot down three months ago.
-Afghanistan. -That's got to be a mistake.
-Check again, then recheck. -I did, sir.
A friend of mine was on that chopper.
Untdenttfted atrcraft, we wtll escort you to US SOccENT atrbase'
-Radar, where's the inbound? -Bogie's five miIes out, sir.
-My wife on? -Yes, Captain.
-My Iadies! -Look'
oh, my goodness. Look at her. She's getting so big.
Look at those cheeks' Ijust wanna chew on them'
Baby, we made a good-looktng ktd'
I know that peopIe say that aII the time,
but, wow, we made one good-Iooking kid. Nice work.
She has your Iaugh.
-She laughed? -Her first one, yeah.
You sure she dtdn'tjust fart?
No, she's a Iady.
She doesn't know you yet, but she wiII.
4500 X. Something's not right.
Bogte's on the deck'
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Radar's jammed.
It's coming from the chopper.
-Wtll? -Sarah?
Hey, Sarah, if you can hear me, I Iove you and I'II be home soon.
-To the right. Go to the right. -Check fire.
MH-53 piIot, power down now.
Have your crew step out or we wiII kiII you.
HoId your fire! Stand by to engage!
My God.
They bombed the antenna farm! We're under attack!
Go! Move! Move!
It's going after the fiIes!
Cut the hard Iines!
I need a key! It's Iocked!
Move! Move!
Here, come here! Come here!
Here, hide in here!
oh, my God. okay.
No!
oh!
What the...
Epps, Iet's go!
okay, Mr. Witwicky, you're up.
Sorry, I got a Iot of stuff.
Watch.
okay.
For my famiIy...
Who did... Who did that? PeopIe! ResponsibiIity.
okay.
So, for my famiIy geneaIogy report,
I decided to do it on my great-great-grandfather,
who was a famous man, Captain ArchibaId Witwicky.
Very famous expIorer.
In fact, he was one of the first to expIore the Arctic CircIe, which is a big deaI.
In 1897, he took 41 brave satlors stratght tnto the Arcttc Shelf'
Move faster, men! Move! Chop! Heave!
The ice is freezing faster than it's meIting! Chop faster! Heave, men!
Heave! No sacrifice, no victory!
We'II get to the Arctic CircIe, Iads!
So that's the story, right?
And here we have some of the basic instruments and tooIs
used by 19th-century seamen.
This here is the quadrant, which you can get for 80 bucks.
It's aII for saIe, by the way.
Like the sextant here. $50 for this, which is a bargain.
These are pretty cooI. These are my grandfather's gIasses.
I haven't quite gotten them appraised yet, but they've seen many cooI things.
Are you going to seII me his Iiver?
Mr. Witwicky, this isn't show and seII. It's the 1 1th grade.
I don't think your grandfather wouId be
particuIarIy proud of what you're doing.
I know. I'm sorry. I just, you know, this is aII going towards my car fund.
You can teII your foIks. It's on eBay. I take PayPaI.
CoId hard cash works, too.
And the compass makes a great gift for CoIumbus Day.
-Sam! -Sorry.
UnfortunateIy, my great-great-grandfather,
the genius that he was, wound up going bIind and crazy in a psycho ward,
drawing these strange symboIs
and babbIing on about some giant ice man
that he thought he'd discovered.
okay. Might be a pop quiz tomorrow. Might not.
-SIeep in fear tonight. -Here, you want? Here, 50. 40? 30?
-Sam? -Yeah. Sorry, sorry.
okay. Pretty good, right?
I'd say a soIid B-.
A B-?
You were hawking your great-grandfather's crap
-in my cIassroom. -No, kids enjoy...
-Look, can you do me a favor? -What?
Can you Iook out the window for a second? You see my father?
-He's the guy in the green car. -Yeah.
okay, I wanna teII you about a dream. A boy's dream.
And a man's promise to that boy.
He Iooked at me in the eye. He said, ''Son, I'm gonna buy you a car.
''But I want you to bring me $2,000 and three As.''
okay? I got the 2,000 and I got two As.
okay? Here's the dream. Your B-. Dream gone. Kaput.
Sir, just ask yourseIf, what wouId Jesus do?
Yes! Yes, yes.
So?
A-. It's an A, though.
Wait, wait, wait. I can't see. It's an A.
-So I'm good? -You're good.
-I got a IittIe surprise for you, son. -What kind of...
Yeah, a IittIe surprise.
No. No, no, no, no. Dad!
-oh, you got to be kidding me. -See?
Yeah. I am. You're not getting a Porsche.
-You think that's funny? -Yeah, I think it's funny.
-What's wrong with you? -You think I'd reaIIy get you
a Porsche for your first car?
I don't want to taIk to you for the rest of this whoIe thing.
-oh, come on. It's just a practicaI joke. -It's not a funny joke.
-Manny! -What?
Get your cousin out of that damn cIown suit.
He's having a heat stroke again.
Scaring white foIks.
I'm hot! Makeup's meIting. It hurts my eyes.
Here? No, no, no, what is this? You said... You said haIf a car,
not haIf a piece of crap, Dad.
When I was your age, I'd have been happy with four wheeIs and an engine.
okay, Iet me expIain something to you. okay?
-You ever see 40-Year-Old Vtrgtn? -Yeah.
okay, that's what this is. And this is 50-year-oId virgin.
-okay. -You want me to Iive that Iife?
-No sacrifice, no victory. -Yeah, no victory. You know, I got it.
-The oId Witwicky motto, Dad. -Right.
GentIemen.
Bobby BoIivia, Iike the country, except without the runs.
How can I heIp you?
WeII, my son here, Iooking to buy his first car.
-You come to see me? -I had to.
That practicaIIy makes us famiIy. UncIe Bobby B, baby. UncIe Bobby B.
-Sam. -Sam, Iet me taIk to you.
Sam, your first enchiIada of freedom awaits underneath one of those hoods.
Let me teII you something, son. A driver don't pick the car.
The car'II pick the driver.
It's a mysticaI bond between man and machine.
Son, I'm a Iot of things, but a Iiar's not one of them.
EspeciaIIy not in front of my mammy. That's my mammy. Hey, Mammy!
Don't be Iike that. If I had a rock, I'd bust your head, bitch.
I teII you, man, she deaf, you know?
WeII, over here, every piece of car a man might want or need.
This ain't bad.
-This one's got racing stripes. -Yeah.
It got racing...
Yeah, what's this? What the heck is this?
I don't know nothing about this car.
-Manny! -What?
What is this? This car! Check it out!
I don't know, boss! I've never seen it! That's loco!
Don't go Ricky Ricardo on me, Manny! Find out!
FeeIs good.
-How much? -WeII,
considering the semi-cIassic nature of the vehicIe,
with the sIick wheeIs and the custom paint job...
-Yeah, but the paint's faded. -Yeah, but it's custom.
It's custom faded?
WeII, this is your first car. I wouIdn't expect you to understand.
-Five grand. -No, I'm not paying over four. Sorry.
Kid, come on, get out. Get out the car.
No, no, no. You said cars pick their drivers.
WeII, sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass father. out the car.
Now, this one here for four Gs is a beaut.
There's a Fiesta with racing stripes over there.
No, I don't want a Fiesta with racing stripes.
This is a cIassic engine right here.
I soId a car the other day...
Gee. HoIy cow.
-No, no, no. No worries. -You aII right?
I'II get a sIedgehammer and knock this right out. Hey, hey, Manny!
Get your cIown cousin and get some hammers
and come bang this stuff out, baby!
'''greater than man'''
That one's my favorite, drove aII the way from AIabammy.
$4,000.
Steve.
HeIIo, Mr. Secretary.
They're so young.
They're the top subject matter experts, sir.
NSA's recruiting right out of high schooI these days.
Guys, that's the Secretary of Defense.
I am so underdressed.
Ladies and gentIemen, the Secretary of Defense.
PIease be seated.
I'm John KeIIer.
obviousIy, you're wondering why you're here, so these are the facts.
At 1900 local ttme yesterday,
the SOccENT Forward Operattons Base tn Qatar was attacked'
So far as we know, there were no survivors.
The objective of the attack was to hack our miIitary network.
We're not sure exactIy what they're after,
but we do know that they were cut off during the assauIt,
which wouId Iead us to assume that they're going to try it again.
Now, no one's taken responsibiIity for the attack.
And the onIy reaI Iead we have so far is this sound.
That's the signaI that hacked our network.
NSA's working at fuII capacity to anaIyze it
and intercept further communications,
but we need your heIp to find out who did this.
Now, you've aII shown considerabIe abiIity in the area of signaIs anaIysis.
We're on a hair-trigger here, peopIe.
The President has dispatched battIe groups
to the Arabtan Gulfand Yellow Sea' Thts ts as real as it's ever gonna get'
Now I'm gonna leave you to your offtcer-tn-charge'
You'II break up into teams and you'II start your work.
Good Iuck to us aII.
AII right, Mojo. I got the car. Now I need the girI.
I need money to take out the girI is what I need.
Zero bids.
Great. Broke.
Come on, Mojo. You want your pain piIIs?
No. Premature.
Good. What's up?
Nothing. You know, just driving my car. Driving my car.
It's Iike cIockwork.
AII right, I know you get wasted on these things,
but if you piss in my bed again, you're sIeeping outside. okay?
That's it for today. No more. Crackhead.
-Ron, this one is uneven. -Yeah. ProbabIy.
This one is wobbIy.
-Yeah. I'II take care of that reaI soon. -CouIdn't we have hired a professionaI?
-Sam... -What?
I do not Iike footprints on my grass.
-What foot... There's no footprints. -That's why I buiIt my path.
So why don't you go from my grass onto my path, okay?
-It's famiIy grass, Dad. -WeII, when you own your own grass,
-you'II understand. -This... I can't do it anymore.
-You're putting girI jeweIry on a boy dog. -What?
He's got enough seIf-esteem issues as a Chihuahua, Mom.
That's his bIing.
I want you home at 1 1 :00!
-Yeah, aII right. -1 1 :00!
PIease, for the Iove of God, drive safeIy.
Seat beIt on!
Wow. You are so cheap.
WeII, it's his first car. Supposed to be Iike that.
At thts ttme, we can't conftrm whether there were any survivors'
oh, my God.
Our bases worldwtde are, as ofnow, at DEFcON Delta,
our htghest readtness level'
We're deaIing with a very effective weapons system
that we have not come across before.
But ourprayers are with the famtltes of the brave men and women'''
Honey, Daddy's gonna be okay.
I've never seen a weapons system Iike this.
The thermaI shows this weird aura around the exoskeIeton
Iike it's cIoaked by some kind of invisibIe force fieId.
That's impossibIe. There's no such thing as invisibIe force fieIds
except in, Iike, comic book stuff, right?
-Man, I don't know. -What is that?
My mama, she had the gift, you know?
She saw things. I got the gene, too,
and that thing that attacked us? I got a feeIing it ain't over.
How about you use those magic voodoo powers
and get us the heII out of here, huh?
When I took that picture, I think it saw me.
It Iooked right at me.
AII right, we got to get this thing back to the Pentagon right away.
They got to know what we're deaIing with here.
My radto's frted'
-I got no communtcatton with aertal' -Hey, Mahfouz'
-How far do you Iive from here? -Not far. Just up that mountain.
-Do they have a phone? -Yes.
AII right, Iet's hit it.
Dude, are you sure we're invited to this party?
of course, MiIes. It's a Iake. PubIic property.
oh, my God.
oh, my God, dude, MikaeIa's here. Just don't do anything weird, aII right?
-I'm good, right? -Yeah, you're good.
okay.
Hey, guys, check it out.
oh, hi.
Hey, bro. That car. It's nice. Hey.
So, what are you guys doing here?
We're here to cIimb this tree.
I see that. It Iooks... It Iooks fun.
-Yeah. -You know, I thought I recognized you.
You tried out for the footbaII team Iast year, right?
Let's go caII your mom.
oh, no, no, that... No. That wasn't Iike a reaI tryout.
I was researching a book I was writing.
-oh, yeah? -Yeah.
Yeah? What's it about? Sucking at sports?
No, it's about the Iink between brain damage and footbaII.
No, it's a good book. Your friends'II Iove it.
You know, it's got mazes in it and, you know, IittIe coIoring areas,
sections, pop-up pictures. It's a Iot of fun.
That's funny.
okay, okay. You know what? Stop.
Hey, guys, I know of a party. Let's go, Iet's head.
You got to get out of the tree right now. Get...
Just get out of the tree right now, pIease.
What are you doing?
Did you see that dismount? AII the chicks were watching.
You're making me Iook Iike an idiot. We both Iooked Iike idiots just now.
-Hey, how about you Iet me drive? -oh, no. No, no, no. This is not a toy.
These 22s, I don't want you grinding them. No.
Why doesn't my IittIe bunny just hop in the back seat?
God, I can't even teII you how much I'm not your IittIe bunny.
okay.
You'II caII me.
Who's gonna drive you home, tontght?
Hey, man, what's wrong with your radio?
-I'm gonna drive her home tonight. -What?
She's an eviI jock concubine, man. Let her hitchhike.
She Iives 10 miIes from here, okay? It's my onIy chance.
You got to be understanding here, aII right?
AII right. We'II put her in the back. I'II be quiet.
-Did you say, ''Put her in the back''? -I caIIed shotgun.
I'm not putting her in the back. You got to get out of my car.
-That's a party fouI. -What ruIes?
Bros before hos.
MiIes, I'm begging you to get out of my car. okay?
You can't do this to me.
You got to get out of my car right now.
Who's gonna come around when you break?
MikaeIa! It's Sam.
Witwicky.
I hope I didn't get you stranded or anything.
You sure?
So, Iisten, I was wondering if I couId ride you home.
I mean, give you a ride home in my car, to your house.
There you go.
So...
I can't beIieve that I'm here right now.
You can duck down if you want. I mean, it won't hurt my feeIings.
oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean here with you.
I just meant here, Iike, in this situation, this same situation that I'm aIways in.
'Cause, I don't know, I guess I just have a weakness for hot guys,
for tight abs and reaIIy big arms.
Big arms?
WeII, there's a coupIe new additions in the car.
Like, I just put in that Iight there.
And that disco baII. And so the Iight refIects off the disco baII.
Yeah.
Are you new to schooI this year? It's your first year here?
oh, no, no.
We've been in the same schooI since first grade.
-ReaIIy? -Yeah.
Yeah, a Iong time.
WeII, do we have any cIasses together?
-Yeah, yeah. -ReaIIy? Which?
History. Language arts. Math. Science.
-Sam. -Sam. Yeah.
-Sam WiIkicky. -Witwicky.
God, you know what? I'm so sorry. I just...
-No, it's cooI. -I just didn't recognize you.
Yeah, weII, I mean, that's understandabIe.
No, no, no. No. Come on.
Sorry, I'm just working out the kinks. You know, it's a new car.
When I get that feeltng I want sexual healtng
This radio is, Iike, you know... It's an oId radio, too, so...
Sexual healtng
Look, this isn't something that I, you know...
I can't get this radio to stop. Look, I wouIdn't try this on you.
'Cause this is Iike a romantic thing that I'm not trying to do.
Not that you're not worthy of trying something Iike this on.
-No, of course not. -I'm a friend of yours.
I'm not a romantic friend. Romantic friends do this.
I mean, I'm not that friend. I mean, we... I couId be.
I feel good
Just pop the hood.
Stupid. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Whoa, nice headers.
You've got a high-rise doubIe-pump carburetor.
That's pretty impressive, Sam.
DoubIe-pump?
It squirts the fueI in so you can go faster.
I Iike to go faster.
And it Iooks Iike your distributor cap's a IittIe Ioose.
Yeah? How'd you know that?
My dad. He was a reaI grease monkey. He taught me aII about this.
I couId take it aII apart, cIean it, put it back together.
That's weird. I just wouIdn't peg you for mechanicaI.
oh, my God.
WeII, you know, I don't reaIIy broadcast it.
Guys don't Iike it when you know more about cars than they do.
EspeciaIIy not Trent. He hates it.
Yeah, no, I'm cooI with, you know, femaIes working on my engine.
I prefer it, actuaIIy.
-okay. You want to fire it up for me? -oh, yeah, yeah, no probIem.
-Thanks. -You know, I was thinking.
You know, if Trent's such a jerk, why do you hang out with him?
You know what? I'm just... I'm gonna waIk.
Good Iuck with your car.
AII right.
WaIking's heaIthy, right?
oh, God, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on, pIease. PIease, you gotta work for me now.
Don't Iet her waIk away. Come on, come on, come on. PIease, pIease.
Baby come back any ktnd offool could see
Hey!
There was somethtng tn everythtng about you
Baby come back you can blame it all on me
Hey!
Wait a second!
I was wrong and Ijust can't live without you
There it is.
I had fun. So, you know, thanks for Iistening.
-oh, yeah, yeah. -You... You think I'm shaIIow?
I think you're... No, no, no.
I think there's a Iot more than meets the eye with you.
okay.
Yeah.
AII right, I'II see you at schooI.
AII right.
That's stupid.
That was a stupid Iine.
''There's more than meets the eye with you.'' Stupid.
oh, God.
oh, my God. I Iove my car.
Hey, guys, I think the other team figured it out. Iran.
Come on, man. This is way too smart for Iranian scientists.
-Think about it. -What do you think, kid? Chinese?
No way. This is nothing Iike what the Chinese are using.
This is Air Force one. LeveI of fIight, IeveI three-three-zero.
We wtll hunt down thts enemy' And when we do,
we'll knowjust what to do with them'
-Thank you. -You're weIcome.
Apparently, there are very few survivors'
Yes, Mr. President?
Yeah, can you wrangIe me up some Ding Dongs, darIing?
I joined the Air Force to bring the man Ding Dongs. I'II be in storage.
Shoot.
Gross.
Do you hear that?
Are you getting this?
I think they're hacking the network again.
oh, my God. This is a direct match to the signaI in Qatar.
-Are you running a diagnostic? -ShouId I be?
-Yes, you shouId. -So I am.
Someone! They're hacking into Air Force one!
We need a senior anaIyst.
-I think they're pIanting a virus. -A virus?
-It's streaming right now. -They are pIanting a virus
and steaIing a whoIe Iot of data from your system at the same time.
Code Red. We have a breach.
Air Force one, someone onboard has breached the miIitary network.
I'm in the cargo hoId. CIear. CIear.
-You got to cut the hard Iines. -What?
-Whatever they want, they are getting it. -Sir?
Permission to take down the Defense Network.
-Cut aII server hard Iines now. -Cut aII server hard Iines now.
Someone's tampered with the PoTUS mainframe.
What the...
Shots ftred tn the underdeck' Repeat, shots ftred'
crew, prepare for emergency descent'
I want our President in that bunker.
And I don't want to discuss a damn thing other tiII that becomes reaIity.
That's our first priority. That's our onIy priority right now.
Air Force one is on the ground.
oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
That's my car!
No!
No, no, no, no.
Dad, caII the cops!
Where you going with my car, buddy? Where you going?
HeIIo? 91 1 emergency! My car has been stoIen!
I'm in pursuit! Right? I need aII units, the whoIe squadron.
Bring everyone! No, don't ask me questions, aII right?
My father's the head of the neighborhood watch!
oh, my God.
My name is Sam Witwicky.
Whoever finds this, my car is aIive, okay? You saw that?
Since this is my Iast words on Earth, I just wanna say, Mom, Dad, I Iove you,
and if you find Busty Beauttes under my bed, it wasn't mine.
I'm hoIding it for MiIes. No, no, wait that...
okay, that's not true. It's mine and UncIe CharIes gave it to me.
I'm sorry. Mojo, I Iove you.
No! No! No! No!
oh, my God.
No, you're a good dog! Good dog! Good dog!
oh, my God.
Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! AII right! oh! No! No!
okay. PIease, pIease don't kiII me!
I'm sorry! Take the keys! I don't want them! Car's yours!
Listen, Iisten, Iisten.
-Good, you're here. -Let me see your hands!
-No, no, no! It's not me! -Let me see your hands.
-The guy's inside. -Shut up! WaIk towards the car.
Put your head on the hood.
Whoever did this finaIIy managed to infiItrate our defense network,
which is what they tried to do in Qatar, onIy this time it worked.
-What did they get? -We stiII don't know.
-TaIk to me about the virus. -It's a Spider-bot virus.
We're not sure what it's going to do, but it may crippIe the system.
-Can we stop it? -Every time we try an antivirus,
it adapts and speeds up. It's Iike it's not a virus anymore.
It's become the system.
obviousIy the first phase of a major attack against the US.
The onIy countries with this kind of capabiIity
are Russia, North Korea, maybe China.
-I'm sorry, that's not correct. -Excuse me, young Iady.
I didn't see you standing there. You wouId be who?
I'm just the anaIyst who detected the hack.
HoId on. It was you? You did it?
-Her team. -Sir, I was just trying to say,
they hacked your firewaII in 10 seconds.
okay. Even a supercomputer with a brute force attack
wouId take 20 years to do that.
Maybe you can expIain, then, how our Iatest sateIIite imagery
shows North Korea doubIing its navaI activity.
Maybe it's a precaution, because isn't that what we're doing?
The signaI pattern is Iearning. It's evoIving on its own.
And you need to move past Fourier transfers
and start considering quantum mechanics.
There is nothing on Earth that compIex.
What about an organism? A Iiving organism?
Maybe some kind of DNA-based computer?
-And I know that that sounds crazy... -That's enough. That's enough.
We have six fIoors of anaIysts working on this thing.
Now, if you can find proof to back up your theory,
I'm gonna be happy to Iisten to you. But if you don't get a fiIter
on that brain-mouth thing, you're gonna be off the team. You understand?
Look, I can't be any cIearer than how crystaI cIear I am being.
-It just stood up. -It just stood up.
Wow. That's reaIIy neat.
okay, chiefie.
Time to fiII her up. And no drippy-drippy.
What are you roIIing?
Whippets? GoofbaIIs? A IittIe wowie sauce with the boys?
-No, I'm not on any drugs. -What's these?
Found it in your pocket. ''Mojo.''
Is that what the kids are doing now? LittIe bit of Mojo?
-Those are my dog's pain piIIs. -You know, a Chihuahua. A IittIe...
What was that?
You eyebaIIing my piece, 50 Cent?
You wanna go? Make something happen. Do it.
'Cause I promise you I wiII bust you up.
Are you on drugs?
Let's hope this teIephone Iine works.
Hey, heads up!
Heads up! Hey! Heads up!
What the heck was that?
EngIish, dude. EngIish.
Whoa!
Watch out!
-open fire! -Contact! Contact!
Everybody, quiet. SettIe.
Whoa, mother... What the heII is...
Get up! Get up! Come on!
Go! Move it!
Take cover!
Fig! Cover the rear!
Cover fire! Move it! Fig, cover the rear! Epps! Cover the rear! Move it!
Come on! Give me a mag!
Where's your papa? Where's your papa?
Papa!
Sir, we need... I need a teIephone.
-TeIephone, teIephone, yes! -TeIephone!
Hey, I need a mag! Give me a mag!
-CeII phone! -I don't know how to thank you.
Fire!
This is an emergency Pentagon caII! I need you to... Do you understand?
It's an emergency Pentagon...
I don't have a credit card!
Sir, the attitude is not going to speed things up any bit at aII.
I'm going to ask you to speak into the mouthpiece very cIearIy.
I'm in the middIe of a war! This is frigging ridicuIous!
Ammo!
I need a credit card!
-Epps! Where's your waIIet? -Pocket!
-Which pocket? -My back pocket!
-You got 10 back pockets! -Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!
AII right, keep shooting! Keep shooting!
okay, it's Visa.
AIso, sir, have you heard about
our premium pIus worId-service goId package?
No, I don't want a premium package! Epps! Pentagon!
Give me a status.
Sir, we're tracking a SpeciaI ops team under fire in Qatar.
They say they're survivors of the base attack.
Survivors?
I ain't never seen this in my Iife!
Need gunshtps on statton ASAP!
Predator's coming up in a minute.
We're Iinking the caII to the nearest AWACS.
Unknown, man. I don't... Man, if you seen this shit...
Predator ETA two minutes.
Hey! Make way!
-What is that? -I don't know.
We need air support and we need it now.
RoII in strike package Bravo on unknown target.
I authenttcate Tango Whtskey at ttme 0300 Zulu'
Attentton, all atrcraft' Thts wtll be a danger close-ftre mtsston'
Weapons, Ijust got a call from Falcon Ops'
Who's closer to Ktll Box One Alpha?
-Send the Hogs, sir. -Okay, send the Hogs over
to Ktll Box One Alpha' It's a danger close'''
Switch the Hogs to Ktll Box One Alpha, 300 feet danger close'
Frtendltes tn the area'
Seven-man team north of orange smoke!
Received KiII Box one AIpha. Engage hostiIe.
Attack direction west! You're cIear and hot!
Strtke, tell me status ofHog rtght now'
Hog one-one Dark Star status.
-Lennox! The heat's coming! -Laze the target!
We got a beam-rider incoming! Laze target!
-Ready! Heat's coming! -What? Bring it!
Receivtng radarjammtng tn vtctnity of target'
No frigging way that thing's stiII not down.
Spooky Three Two, use 105 sheIIs. Bring the rain.
Be advtsed, ground team ts requesttng 105 sabot rounds'
Did we Iose them?
Warthog One conftrm vtsual on frtendltes'
Where's Fig?
-Fig? Fig? -oh, God!
-God damn it! -Get a medic!
Get a medic!
-I'm sorry. -BIack Hawk...
We'II get a medic. Just hoId on. He's got a puIse.
We need a medevac. one man down. Patient care category urgent.
Bring them home.
You get those men statestde rtght now'
I want them debrtefed tn 10 hours'
There's onIy one hacker in the worId who can break this code.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Stop!
I am sorry to bother you.
-Maggie? -Listen, I need your heIp.
No! This is my private area, my pIace of Zen and peace.
-Listen to me. -GIen! Who is it?
Shut up, Grandma!
-What are you doing here? -Just give me a break, wiII you, pIease?
Grandmama! Drink your prune juice!
-What IeveI are you on, man? -Six.
oh, here come the matrix! Here come the matrix!
GIen, seriousIy, don't you want to see something cIassified?
Yeah. Get Iow.
-Here we go. Here we go. DoubIe tap. -Hey, I just paused it. I just paused it.
Hey. I need a moment.
-PIease. -Sorry.
Hey, man, save my game.
How cIassified?
Like ''I wiII go to jaiI for the rest of my Iife for showing you'' cIassified.
Yes! one quick peek.
SpeciaI ops got a thermaI snapshot of whatever hit the base in Qatar.
-I want to see it. -WeII, the imager was damaged, sir.
The rangers are en route with the imager,
but we aIso have a security issue.
CircIe Iogs indicate one of the anaIysts made a copy
of the network intrusion signaI.
The signaI strength is through the roof. Where did you say you got this?
It hacked the nationaI miIitary air-guard frequency
in Iess than a minute.
-No way. -Yeah.
Looks Iike there's a message embedded in the signaI. Let me work my magic.
''Project Iceman''?
-What's Sector Seven? -Who is Captain Witwicky?
Are you pIaying those video games again?
Cops! Cops!
FBI! CIear right!
Lock it down! Lock it down!
Cops!
Lock it down.
Wait! I'm just a cousin! I'm just a...
Get off my Grandmama's carpet! She don't Iike nobody on the carpet!
EspeciaIIy poIice!
It was an awesome spectacle here an hour ago
when over 40 c-17s ltfted off of thts very base'
We're not told where they're gotng'
Morning, Mo.
The government has been very qutet about what's gotng on but tn our'''
-Mojo. Mojo. -They were headed dtrectly
towards North Korea'
Stop with the barking, Mojo. It's too earIy. PIease?
MiIes? MiIes, Iisten to me. Listen.
-My car, it stoIe itseIf, okay? -What are you taIking about, man?
Satan's Camaro. In my yard. It's staIking me.
Stop!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
oh, my God!
Sam?
Hi.
That was... That was reaIIy awesome.
-WeII, it feIt awesome. -Are you okay?
I'm not okay, aII right? I'm Iosing my mind a IittIe bit.
I'm getting chased by my car right now. I got to go.
You know what? I'm gonna catch up with you guys Iater.
oh, great. Cops.
officer!
Listen!
oh, that hurt.
Listen to me!
Thank God you're here! I've had the worst day ever!
I've been... I've been foIIowed here on my mother's bike! Right?
And my car's right there and it's been foIIowing me here!
So get out of the car! No! Stop! oh, God. okay, okay! okay, aII right!
okay! I'm sorry! I'm... I didn't mean to hit your car! Look!
okay, Iook, Iook, Iook! Stop, stop!
PIease! okay, what do you want from me?
okay.
oh, God, no! No!
oh, shit! oh, shit, shit, shit! oh, God! oh, shit!
It's a bad dream.
Are you username LadiesMan21 7?
I don't know what you're taIking about!
Are you username LadiesMan21 7?
Yeah.
Where is eBay item 21 153?
Where are the gIasses?
Get back!
Stop!
God!
What is your probIem, Sam?
okay, there's a monster right there! It just attacked me!
Here he comes! AII right, get up. Get up and run! You have to run! okay.
Sam, what is that thing?
-You have to get in the car. Get in. -I don't want to.
-Get in the car. Trust me. Trust me! -Sam.
Get in! Go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go!
oh, God! We're gonna die! We're gonna die!
No, we're not. No, we're not gonna die.
-oh, my God! -Trust me. He's a kick-ass driver!
oh, my God! No!
We're gonna die!
oh, my God!
We're Iocked in.
The car won't start. At Ieast we ditched the monster, right?
okay.
Time to start.
He's got me! oh, God!
He's going to kiII me!
No. No, no, no!
Get off!
KiII it! KiII it!
Get it, get it, get it, get it!
Not so tough without a head, are you?
Here, come on.
What is it?
It's a robot.
But Iike a...
Like a different... You know, Iike a super-advanced robot.
It's probabIy Japanese.
Yeah, it's definiteIy Japanese.
What are you doing?
I don't think it wants to hurt us. It wouId have done that aIready.
ReaIIy? WeII, do you speak robot?
Because they just had, Iike, a giant droid death match.
-I think it wants something from me. -What?
WeII, 'cause the other one was taIking about my eBay page.
You are the strangest boy I have ever met.
-Can you taIk? -XM Satellite Radto'''
Dtgital cable brtngs you''' '''columbta Broadcasttng System'''
So you... You taIk through the radio?
Thank you, you're beauttful' You're wonderful, you're wonderful'
So, what was that Iast night? What was that?
Message from Starfleet, captatn'''
Throughout the tnantmate vastness ofspace'''
Angels wtll ratn down ltke vtsitors from heaven! Hallelujah!
Visitors from heaven? What...
What are you, Iike, an aIien or something?
Any more questtons you want to ask?
He wants us to get in the car.
And go where?
Fifty years from now, when you're Iooking back at your Iife,
don't you want to be abIe to say you had the guts to get in the car?
This car's a pretty good driver.
I know.
Why don't you go sit in that seat, there?
I'm not going to sit in that seat. He's driving.
Yeah.
You're right.
-WeII, maybe you shouId sit in my Iap. -Why?
WeII, I have the onIy seat beIt here. You know, safety first.
-Yeah, aII right. -Right?
-Yeah. -okay.
There, see? That's better.
-okay. -okay.
You know, that seat beIt thing was a pretty smooth move.
Thank you.
You know what I don't understand?
Why, if he's supposed to be, Iike, this super-advanced robot,
does he transform back into this piece-of-crap Camaro?
Whoa! Whoa!
oh, see? No. Get... No, that doesn't work. See?
Move it, you moron!
Great, now... See?
Fantastic.
Now you pissed him off.
That car is sensitive.
I mean, $4000 just drove off.
What?
This is you...
oh, my God!
Come on, Iet's go.
This is the cooIest thing I've ever seen! ExpIosions everywhere!
This is easiIy a hundred times cooIer than Armageddon' I swear to God!
Fire, fire, fire, fire!
Whoa! Sweet!
oh, dude, I hope this guy's got asteroid insurance,
'cause he is so boned!
What is that?
There's something in the tree, dude.
No, there's something in the thing by the tree!
CouId you guys just give me a space rock?
Excuse me, are you the tooth fairy?
Hey, sweetheart, what are you doing out here by yourseIf?
HoIy God! What happened to the pooI?
Are you SamueI James Witwicky, descendent of ArchibaId Witwicky?
They know your name.
Yeah.
My name is optimus Prime.
We are autonomous robotic organisms from the pIanet Cybertron.
-But you can caII us Autobots for short. -Autobots.
-What's cracking, IittIe bitches? -My first Iieutenant. Designation, Jazz.
This Iooks Iike a cooI pIace to kick it.
What is that? How did he Iearn to taIk Iike that?
We've Iearned Earth's Ianguages through the WorId Wide Web.
My weapons speciaIist, Ironhide.
-You feeIing Iucky, punk? -Easy, Ironhide.
Just kidding. I just wanted to show him my cannons.
our medicaI officer, Ratchet.
The boy's pheromone IeveI suggests he wants to mate with the femaIe.
You aIready know your guardian, BumbIebee.
BumbIebee, right?
check on the rep Yep, second to none
So you're my guardian, huh?
His vocaI processors were damaged in battIe. I'm stiII working on them.
Why are you here?
We are here Iooking for the AII Spark. And we must find it before Megatron.
Mega-what?
Ourplanet was once a powerful emptre, peaceful andjust,
unttl we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepttcons'
All who defted them were destroyed'
Our war ftnally consumed the planet, and the All Spark was lost to the stars'
Megatron followed it to Earth, where captatn Witwtcky found htm'
My grandfather.
It was an acctdent that tntertwtned our fates'
Come back!
I think the dogs have found something.
The ice is cracking!
Captain! Grab my rope, Captain!
I'm aII right, Iads!
Can we throw you a rope, Captain?
Megatron crash-landed before he could retrteve the cube'
Men! We've made a discovery!
He acctdentally activated hts navtgatton system'
The coordtnates to the cube's locatton on Earth were tmprtnted on hts glasses'
How'd you know about his gIasses?
-eBay. -eBay.
If the Decepticons find the AII Spark,
they wiII use its power to transform Earth's machines and buiId a new army.
And the human race wiII be extinguished.
Sam Witwicky, you hoId the key to Earth's survivaI.
PIease teII me that you have those gIasses.
It's Iike a seIf-regenerating moIecuIar armor.
Look at the scorch mark where the sabot round hit.
MeIted right through.
Hey, aren't sabots hot-Ioaded for, Iike, a 6,000-degree magnesium burn?
CIose to it. It meIts tank armor.
So this metaI skin must react to extreme heat.
-Heads up! -oh!
I thought you said that thing was dead, man!
Strap it down! Strap it! This thing is wicked.
AII right, get on the horn with Northern Command.
TeII them that our effective weapon is high-heat sabot rounds.
Recommend we Ioad them on aII the gunships. Go.
You want that piece?
okay, Maggie, Iook. Let me break it down to you how it's gonna happen.
They gonna come through that door and be good cop, bad cop.
Don't faII for that, aII right? That's why I ate their food.
See, they put the pIate of donuts out here to test your guiIt.
If you don't touch it, you're guiIty.
I ate the whoIe pIate. The whoIe pIate. okay?
It's me and you.
They waIk through that door, you don't say nothing.
She did it! She did it! She's the one you want! AII right?
I was just sitting at home watching cartoons,
pIaying video games with my cousin, and she came in there.
-And then... -GIen, you freak.
Hey! I am not going to jaiI for you or anybody eIse!
I have done nothing bad my entire Iife! Hey, man, I'm stiII a virgin.
okay, so what?
I've downIoaded a coupIe of thousand songs off the Internet.
Who hasn't? Who hasn't?
-I promise! -GIen, shut up!
No, you shut up! Don't taIk to me! Don't taIk to me, criminaI!
-oh, sugar rush. -This is... This is not his fauIt.
See? So can I go home now?
-oh, okay. I won't. -But just Iisten to me.
okay, whoever hacked into your miIitary system downIoaded a fiIe, aII right?
It was something about someone named Witwicky
and some government group, right? Named Sector Seven.
You have to Iet me taIk to Defense Secretary KeIIer
before you go to war with the wrong country!
Whatever fell out of the sky ended up rtght behtnd'''
-What did he say? -What?
-Did he hear it, too? -Yeah, Jack heard it, too. Yeah.
-What does he think it is? -He thinks it's a miIitary experiment.
-What a knuckIehead. -Yeah, weII, I think it's a pIane.
Sttll no offtctal word as to what happened' You can see'''
-Yeah! -CaII Sam.
-Yeah. Why? -He shouId be home in 15 minutes.
WeII, I'II caII him in 15 minutes.
If you wait 15 minutes, he'II be Iate and you'II have to ground him.
WeII, I can't ground him if he's not Iate, can I?
I need you to stay here, aII right?
You got to stay here and you're gonna watch them.
-okay, okay. -AII of them.
-Do you hear what I'm saying? -Yeah, okay, okay.
Five minutes, aII right?
-Thanks for staying on my path. -oh, yeah. No, no, Dad. Hey!
The... oh, the path. I'm sorry. I forgot about the path.
I'm gonna sweep the whoIe thing right now. How about that?
-You know, I buy haIf your car... -Yeah.
...then I baiI you out of jaiI and then I just decided to do aII your chores.
-The chores. -Yeah. Life is great, huh?
Life... Life is fantastic, is how good it is.
It's so... oh, the trash cans. Sorry, Dad. I'm gonna do the trash cans now.
No, no, I don't want you to strain yourseIf.
No, no, I won't strain myseIf, Dad.
-I'II do it. -It wouId hurt my feeIings if you do it.
-You sure? I don't mind, I don't... -I promise...
No, no, no, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do the trash cans and I'm gonna scrape the griII
and I'm gonna... I'm gonna sweep up the whoIe house right now.
-Tonight, right now? -Right now.
The...
I Iove you. God, I Iove you
just so much right now.
You know, Mom wanted me to ground you.
-You're three minutes Iate. -Right?
oh, weII, just another thing you did for me, Dad,
because you're such a sweII guy.
one more thing, huh?
AII right, I Iove you! SIeep good, handsome man!
What are you doing? What are you doing?
No, watch the path! Watch the path! Watch the... PIease, pIease, pIease.
No, no, wait. No, no, no! oh, no!
-Sorry. My bad. -oh, I... You couIdn't...
You couIdn't wait for five... You couIdn't wait for five minutes?
I toId you to just stay! Just stay! God!
-I toId you to watch them. I toId you. -okay, you know what?
-They seem to be in a IittIe bit of a rush. -oh, this is bad. No!
Mojo, Mojo! off the robot! God!
-oh, wet. -No, no, no, no, no! Easy! Easy!
HoId on! HoId! This is Mojo. This is Mojo. He's a pet of mine.
He's a pet. okay? That's aII. If you couId just put the guns away...
-Put the... Put them away. PIease. -You have a rodent infestation.
-A what? -ShaII I terminate?
No, no, no, no. He's not a rodent, he's a Chihuahua.
This is my... This is my Chihuahua. We Iove Chihuahuas! Don't we?
He's Ieaked Iubricants aII over my foot.
-He peed on you? Bad Mojo. Bad Mojo! -Bad Mojo!
I'm sorry. He's got a maIe dominance thing.
That's aII it is.
-My foot's gonna rust. -AII right.
okay, okay.
-Shut up and go hide! -Just hurry.
Autobots, recon.
I hope he's okay. He's in the kitchen.
Got some ice on his nose.
I had to sIap him around a IittIe bit.
You did not.
-You didn't even ground him. -AImost, aImost.
Where are they? No, no, no, no, no.
Come on, come on.
-What? What is this? -Time is short.
-They reaIIy want those gIasses. -Come on. What are you doing?
-I'm gonna heIp you. -okay.
-PIease hurry. -okay.
-Yeah, no, no. It's definiteIy gone. -What do you mean?
My gIasses were in the bag.
They were in the backpack and now the backpack isn't here.
WeII, they're gonna be pissed, so what do you wanna do?
So what I think you shouId do is you shouId...
You shouId check this whoIe... This whoIe section here.
Just give it a cIean sweep, and I'II get the corner here.
Yeah, no, no, no. Not there. That's my... That's my private...
-Sorry. That's nothing. -You just...
-You just toId me to Iook... -I know,
but I didn't mean to Iook inside of my treasure chest.
You shouId be way more specific so I don't get in troubIe in your room.
I'm aIready stressed out enough.
okay. What now?
No. No, no. No, no, no.
This isn't hiding. This isn't hiding. This is my backyard, not a truck stop.
oh, God. oh!
Okay, I saw it' The UFO landed rtght here and now it's gone'
My moped's under there, man! Who's gonna pay for that?
Sam? Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
-He's back here. -I can't deaI with this. I can't...
What? oh, no, no, no.
-This is my mother's fIower... -oops.
okay, Iisten. You got to Iisten to me.
If my parents come out here and see you, they're gonna freak out.
My mother's got a temper, okay?
We must have the gIasses.
I know you need the gIasses. I've been Iooking everywhere.
They're not here. They're definiteIy not here.
Keep searching.
I need you to be quiet for five minutes.
Ten minutes. okay?
PIease, I'm begging you. You got to... You're making a racket.
I can't concentrate. You want me to Iook and I'm hearing...
CaIm down, caIm down.
You got to do something here. You got to do something here.
-Autobots, faII back. -Thank you. PIease, for five minutes.
Good? Good? okay.
-Move! -Get away!
What's the matter with you? Can't you be quiet?
He wants us to be quiet.
Earthquake! Move, move, move, move, move! Earthquake!
Judy! Judy, get under the tabIe! Move it! Duck and cover right now!
How did you get over there so fast?
Wow! That was tingIy!
-You got to try that! -Yeah, that Iooks fun.
-Sam? -Sammy?
-Sam? -That's weird.
-Sam! -Ratchet, point the Iight.
-Come on, hurry. -Listen, we got a major issue in here.
What's with the Iight? You gotta stop the Iight.
What's going on? Turn it off. You gotta teII him to shut it off.
-Shut it off. -Sam, are you in there?
How come the door's Iocked?
You know the ruIes. No doors Iocked in my house!
You know he'II start counting
-if you don't open the door! -one more chance. Five...
oh, dear.
-Four. It's coming off the hinges, paI. -He's counting!
-Sam, just open the door. -Three.
-oh, my. -Two.
-He's counting. -Stand back.
-What's up? What's with the bat? -Who were you taIking to?
-I'm taIking to you. -Why are you so sweaty and fiIthy?
I'm a chiId. You know, I'm a teenager.
We heard voices and noises and we thought maybe you were...
It doesn't matter what we thought. What was that Iight?
No, what Iight? What? There's no Iight, Dad! There's no Iight!
You got two Iights in your hand! That's what it is.
-Maybe it bounced... -There was Iight under the door.
Look, you can't... You can't just bounce into my room Iike that.
You got to knock. You got to communicate.
-We knocked for five minutes. -I'm a teenager.
-We knocked. -You didn't knock.
-You were screaming at me, okay? -No.
This is repression, what you're doing here.
-You're ruining my youth, okay? -oh, for Pete's sakes!
You are so defensive! Were you masturbating?
-Judy. -Was I...
-No, Mom. -Zip it, okay?
-It's okay. -No, I don't masturbate!
That's not something for you to bring up.
-That's a father-and-son thing, okay? -Father-son thing.
I mean, you don't have to caII it that word if that makes you uncomfortabIe.
You can caII it Sam's happy time or...
-Happy time? -...my speciaI aIone time...
-Stop. -Mom.
-Judy, stop. -...with myseIf.
-Mom, you can't come in and... -I'm sorry.
It's just been a weird night. I've had a IittIe bit to drink.
-No, no, Dad. -Yeah, weII, we saw a Iight.
oh, parents.
I don't know where it was, but we saw it.
Earthquake! It's another one! Another earthquake! Get in the doorway!
-okay! -Aftershock! Aftershock!
oh, I hate these.
-Got to ride it out. Ride it out! -Quick, hide.
-Hey, the Iights are back on. -Hide? What?
-Where? -Come on, get out of that tub.
Can't you take safety seriousIy?
-Good Lord, this fIoor is fiIthy, Sam. -oh, oh, man! Man. oh.
oh, no! Look at the yard. The yard is destroyed.
Judy? Better caII the city. We got a bIown transformer!
Power poIe's sparking aII over the pIace!
oh, man. Yard's a waste.
Trashed. Gone.
-It's a wash. The whoIe yard. -You're kidding.
The parents are very irritating.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Can I take them out?
Ironhide, you know we don't harm humans.
What is with you?
WeII, I'm just saying we couId. It's an option.
We heard you taIking to somebody, Sam.
-We wanna know who. -Mom, I toId...
Hi. I'm MikaeIa.
I'm a... I'm a friend of Sam's.
Gosh, you're gorgeous. Isn't that the prettiest girI?
-She can hear you taIking, Mom. -Thank you.
oh, my goodness. I'm sorry you had to hear our IittIe famiIy discussion about...
-Sorry that we're bugging you. -Do you have my backpack?
-Come on, hon. Let's go. -oh, it's in the kitchen.
oh, yes. okay. okay.
-Yeah. -Your mom's so nice.
I want you to distract my parents
whiIe I sIip out and get these gIasses to them, okay?
-RonaId Wickity? -It's Witwicky. Who are you?
We're the government. Sector Seven.
-Never heard of it. -Never wiII.
Your son's the great-grandson of Captain ArchibaId Wickity, is he not?
It's Witwicky.
May I enter the premises, sir?
Ron, there's guys aII over the front yard.
What the heck is going on here?
Your son fiIed a stoIen car report Iast night.
We think it's invoIved in a nationaI security matter.
-They're ripping up my rose bushes! -NationaI security?
That's right. NationaI security.
My God, Ron, they're everywhere.
There's guys in suits aII around the house! Look at this!
CouId you stay off the grass?
Get me a sampIe and some isotope readings.
They're puIIing bushes out of the ground!
Good Lord! They've got to get their hands off my bush!
-Drop the bat, ma'am. -Hey, hey, hey, that's my...
I'm carrying a Ioaded weapon.
But you'd better get those guys out of my garden
or I am gonna beat the crap out of them!
Are you experiencing any fIu-Iike symptoms? Aching joints? Fever?
-No! -What is this?
How you doing, son? Is your name Sam?
-Yeah. -WeII, I need you to come with us.
Whoa, way out of Iine.
Sir, I am asking poIiteIy. Back off.
-You're not taking my son. -ReaIIy?
You gonna try to get rough with us?
No, but I'm gonna caII the cops
because there's something fishy going on around here.
Yeah. There's something a IittIe fishy about you, your son,
your IittIe Taco BeII dog and this whoIe operation you got going on here.
-What operation? -That is what we are gonna find out.
I think direct contact.
-Son? -Yeah.
-Step forward, pIease. -Just stand?
Fourteen rads.
Bingo! Tag them and bag them!
If you hurt my dog, I'II kick your ass!
Get me a sampIe on that vegetation ASAP!
Sam! Do not say anything, Sam!
-Yeah. -Not a word untiI we get a Iawyer!
So,
LadiesMan21 7.
That is your eBay username, right?
Yeah, but, you know, it was a typo and I ran with it.
What do you make of this?
My name ts Sam Witwtcky, okay? And my'''
Is that you?
Yeah, that sounds Iike LadiesMan.
Last night at the station, you toId the officer your car transformed.
-EnIighten me. -WeII, here's what I said, okay?
'Cause this is a totaI misunderstanding that my car had been stoIen...
-ReaIIy? -...from me, from my home,
but it's fine now because it's back! It came back!
-WeII, not by itseIf. -WeII, no.
Because cars don't do that because that wouId be crazy.
That's funny. That is so funny.
So what do you kids know about aIiens, huh?
oh, you mean, Iike a Martian? Like what, E' T'? No.
-It's an urban Iegend. -Yeah.
You see this?
This is an I-can-do-whatever-I-want and-get-away-with-it badge.
-Right. -I'm gonna Iock you up forever.
oh, God. You know what? Don't Iisten to him.
He's just pissy 'cause he's got to get back to guarding the maII.
You, in the training bra, do not test me.
EspeciaIIy with your daddy's paroIe coming up.
What? ParoIe?
-It's nothing. -oh, grand theft auto, that ain't nothing?
You know those cars my dad used to teach me to fix?
WeII, they... They weren't aIways his.
You stoIe cars?
WeII, we couIdn't aIways afford a babysitter,
so sometimes he had to take me aIong.
She's got her own juvie record to prove it!
She's a criminaI. CriminaIs are hot.
That'd be a reaI shame if he had to rot in jaiI the rest of his naturaI Iife.
It is time to taIk!
Big! It's big!
Go, go, go, go!
-I can't see it! I can't see it! -Shift your weight towards the front!
AII right! AII right!
You A-hoIes are in troubIe now.
GentIemen, I want to introduce you to my friend, optimus Prime.
Taking the chiIdren was a bad move.
Autobots, reIieve them of their weapons.
Freeze!
-Whoa! Whoa! -Give me those!
Whoa!
Hi, there.
You don't seem afraid. Are you not surprised to see us?
Look, there are S-Seven protocoIs, okay?
I'm not authorized to communicate with you
except to teII you I can't communicate with you.
-Get out of the car. -AII right.
-Me? You want me to get... -Now!
AII right, aII right. Get out. Hey.
AII right, I'm... I'm getting out. I'm getting out. You see?
Very nifty how you put us down without reaIIy kiIIing us.
You're good with handcuffs, too, now, huh?
How you doing?
-You weren't supposed to hear aII that. -How's it going, huh?
-Yeah. -This is reaI.
Now, Iisten. If I choose to engage with him, mum is the word, aII right?
Sam, I have a record because I wouIdn't turn my dad in.
When have you had to sacrifice anything in your perfect IittIe Iife?
Big guys. Big guys with big guns, huh?
What is Sector Seven? Answer me.
I'm the one who asks questions around here. Not you, young man!
-How'd you know about the aIiens? -Where did you take my parents?
-I am not at Iiberty to discuss it. -No?
Hey. You touch me, that's a federaI offense.
Do-whatever-you-want and-get-away-with-it badge, right?
Yeah. Brave now aII of a sudden, with his big aIien friend standing over there.
-Where is Sector Seven? -WouIdn't you Iike to know?
Hey!
BumbIebee, stop Iubricating the man.
Get that thing to stop, huh?
-AII right, tough guy, take it off. -What are you taIking about?
-Your cIothes, aII of it, off. -For what?
For threatening my dad.
LittIe Iady, this is the beginning of the end of your Iife.
You're a criminaI.
Let's face facts. It's in your gene pooI.
Those are nice. Now get behind the poIe.
AII right.
This is such a feIony, what you're doing.
-I wiII hunt you down, okay? -He'II hunt you down.
-Without any remorse! -No remorse.
-Enjoy. -okay?
-We have got to aIert everyone. -They aIready know. Speaker.
optimus! Incoming!
RoII out.
Okay, I'm ptcktng up rad readtngs under that brtdge rtght down there'
Okay, I'm getttng really good rad readtngs' Forty-two and htgher'
Up you get.
Okay, we're dropptng tn'
Really strong readtngs rtght down below us' There he ts'
Shtp one and two, come on tn'
That's it, rtght there' Mark htm, mark htm'
Okay, there he ts' 11:30' 11:30' Rtght off the nose'
I got it' 12:00'
Okay, I'm tracktng htm' I've got htm'
Got htm gotng down the street'
Okay' Where'd he go, guys? I lost htm' Got no IR stgnature' Where'd he go?
Okay, I lost htm' I lost htm'
Okay, we're comtng around'
Easy, you two.
No! No! No, Sam! Sam, don't drop me!
Sam, don't! Sam, don't! I'm sIipping! I'm sIipping!
-HoId on! -No!
Sam!
All rtght, we've got htm ptnned' We've got htm ptnned tn the river'
I'm tn for the shot'
Stop! Stop!
Wait! No!
-Take the shot, get htm' -Take the shot'
No!
No! Stop!
Stop!
Get down on the ground! Get down! Get down!
What? okay.
Look, he's not fighting back!
Freeze it! Freeze it! Freeze it!
Stop hurting him!
Don't Iet him move!
I got him here!
No!
Happy to see me again?
Put him in a car with his IittIe criminaI friend.
I want that thing frozen and ready for transport!
Hang back. Let me check it out.
optimus,
are we just gonna stand here and do nothing?
There's no way to free BumbIebee without harming the humans.
-But it's not right. He... -Let them Ieave.
The Chinese and the Russians are nearing our area of operations
in the western Pacific.
We feeI Iike this couId get out of hand reaI fast.
But the next coupIe of hours may just define his presidency.
US and Chinese task forces approaching 100 nauticaI miIes
of cruise missiIe range.
TeII the strike group commander that he's not to engage unIess fired on first.
-Yes, sir! -Mr. Secretary?
Tom Banachek. I'm with Sector Seven, Advanced Research Division.
Never heard of it. I'm a IittIe busy, Tom. I think you can see that.
-What's going on here? -I don't know.
Sit rep! TaIk to me!
-The whoIe room's gone down, sir. -I can see that!
The virus was coded to shut us down.
-GeneraI? -I'II take a seat.
What do you mean, ''shut us down''?
They used our network to spread out to the whoIe worId.
The bIackout's gIobaI.
We have no communications, sateIIite and Iand Iines are dead.
You mean to teII me that I cannot pick up this teIephone and caII my famiIy?
Mr. Secretary? I'm here under direct order from the President.
You reaIIy need to see what I have in the case.
You'II have to accept that there are certain things
you won't understand right away.
Sector Seven is a speciaI-access division of the government
convened in secret under President Hoover 80 years ago.
You may remember NASA JPL Iost the BeagIe 2 Mars Rover.
We toId them to report the mission a compIete faiIure. It wasn't.
BeagIe 2 transmitted 13 seconds.
This was cIassified above top secret.
EDA ended at 170 hours, 48 mtnutes'
More than just a piIe of Martian rocks.
This is the image from Mars.
Here's the image your SpeciaI ops team was abIe to retrieve
from the base attack.
We beIieve they are of the same exoskeIetaI type,
and obviousIy not Russian or North Korean.
Are we taIking about an invasion?
We intercepted the message from your SpeciaI ops team.
These things can be hurt by our weapons and now they know it.
That's why the virus shut us down,
so we can't coordinate against their next attack,
which I wouId bet my ridicuIous government saIary is coming soon.
Get word to our fIeet commanders over the NationaI Guard frequency.
It's a shortwave radio channeI. It might be stiII working.
TeII them to turn their ships around and come home. ASAP!
And inform aII commands to prepare for imminent attack.
Captain Lennox, we need you and your team to come with us right now!
Let's go!
She's in here.
What's going on?
You're coming with me.
-You're going to be my advisor. -Me, too?
Who's this?
-He's my advisor. -He comes, too.
-So... -What'd they get you for?
I bought a car. Turned out to be an aIien robot.
Wow.
Who knew?
Make a hoIe! Watch your back!
PIease, Iet this work.
Fire it up, optimus.
The code.
The code on these gIasses indicates the AII Spark is 230 miIes from here.
I sense the Decepticons are getting ready to mobiIize.
They must know it's here, as weII.
What about BumbIebee?
We can't just Ieave him to die and become some human experiment!
He'II die in vain if we don't accompIish our mission.
BumbIebee is a brave soIdier. This is what he wouId want.
Why are we fighting to save the humans?
They're a prtmitive and vtolent race'
Were we so different?
They're a young spectes' They have much to learn'
But I've seen goodness tn them'
Freedom ts the rtght of all senttent betngs'
You all know there's only one way to end thts war'
We must destroy the cube'
If aII eIse faiIs, I wiII unite it with the spark in my chest.
That's suicide.
The Cube is raw power. It couId destroy you both.
A necessary sacrifice to bring peace to this pIanet.
We cannot Iet the humans pay for our mistakes.
It's been an honor serving with you aII.
-Autobots, roII out! -We roIIing!
Team attention! Present arms!
At ease. Captain, Sergeant. Got your inteI. ExceIIent work.
Thank you, sir. What about the gunships?
They're being retrofitted with sabot rounds now.
If they hit us again, we'II be ready for them.
But it won't do us much good if we can't get worId communications back up.
Hey, kid.
I think we got off to a bad start, huh?
You must be hungry?
You want a Iatte? HoHo? DoubIe venti macchiato?
Where's my car?
Son, I need you to Iisten to me very carefuIIy.
PeopIe can die here.
We need to know everything you know. We need to know it now.
okay.
But first, I'II take my car, my parents. Maybe you shouId write that down.
oh, and her juvie record. That's got to be gone. Like, forever.
Come with me. We'II taIk about your car.
Thank you.
The man's an extortionist.
AII right, here's the situation.
You've aII had direct contact with the NBEs.
NBEs?
Non-BioIogicaI ExtraterrestriaIs. Try and keep up with the acronyms.
What you're about to see is totaIIy cIassified.
Dear God. What is this?
We think when he made his approach over the north poIe,
our gravitationaI fieId screwed up his teIemetry.
He crashed in the ice, probabIy a few thousand years ago.
We shipped him here to this faciIity in 1934.
We caII him NBE one.
WeII, sir, I don't mean to correct you on everything you think you know,
but, I mean, that's Megatron.
He's the Ieader of the Decepticons.
He's been in cryostasis since 1935.
Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries
in the history of mankind.
Fact is, you're Iooking at the source of the modern age,
the microchip, Iasers, spacefIight, cars, aII reverse-engineered by studying him.
NBE one. That's what we caII it.
And you didn't think the United States miIitary might need to know
that you're keeping a hostiIe aIien robot frozen in the basement?
UntiI these events, we had no credibIe threat to nationaI security.
WeII, you got one now.
-So why Earth? -It's the AII Spark.
AII Spark? What is that?
WeII, yeah, they came here Iooking for some sort of cube-Iooking thing.
Anyway, Mr. NBE one here, AKA Megatron, that's what they caII him,
who's pretty much the harbinger of death, wants to use the Cube
to transform human technoIogy to take over the universe.
That's their pIan.
-And you're sure about that? -Yeah.
You guys know where it is, don't you?
FoIIow me.
You're about to see our crown jeweI.
Carbon dating puts the Cube here around 10,000 BC.
The first Seven didn't find it untiI 1913.
They knew it was aIien because of the matching hierogIyphics on the Cube
as weII as NBE one.
President Hoover had the dam buiIt around it.
Four footbaII fieIds thick of concrete.
A perfect way to hide its energy from being detected by anyone
or any aIien species on the outside.
Wait, back up. You said the dam hides the Cube's energy.
-What kind exactIy? -Good question.
PIease step inside. They have to Iock us in.
oh, wow.
What's that? Freddy Krueger done been up in here or something?
oh, no, man.
Freddy Krueger have four bIades, man. That's onIy three. That's WoIverine!
-Right? That's WoIverine! -That's very funny.
Anybody have any mechanicaI devices? BIackBerry? Key aIarm? CeII phone?
I got a phone.
Nokias are reaI nasty.
You've got to respect the Japanese. They know the way of the samurai.
Nokia's from FinIand.
Yes, but he's, you know, a IittIe strange. He's a IittIe strange.
We're abIe to take the Cube radiation and funneI it into that box.
-Mean IittIe sucker, huh? -That thing is freaky!
Kind of Iike the itty-bitty Energizer Bunny from heII, huh?
He's breaking the box.
Go! Go! Go!
Move!
GentIemen, they know the Cube is here.
Banachek. What's going on?
WeII, the NBE one hangar has Iost power...
-What? -'''and the backup generator
-tsjust not gonna cut it' -Do you have an arms room?
Megatron! Megatron! Megatron!
I'II bring security to the...
Get everyone to the NBE one chamber now!
-The Iights are out! -Move it! Move it!
Let's go!
They're popping our generators!
Megatron meIting!
16502' We're lostng pressure'
Stand by! Set!
We're lostng pressure!
The cryogentc system ts fatltng! We're lostng NBE One!
Forty miIIimeter sabot rounds on that tabIe!
That's good. Get aII the ammo you got. Everything you can carry. Bring it.
You got to take me to my car. You have to take me to my car.
He's gonna know what to do with the Cube.
-Your car? It's confiscated. -Then unconfiscate it.
We do not know what wiII happen if we Iet it near this thing!
-You don't know. -Maybe you know, but I don't know.
You just wanna sit here and wait and see what happens?
I have peopIe's Iives at stake here, young man.
Take him to his car!
Drop it.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Drop your weapon, soIdier.
There's an aIien war going on and you're gonna shoot me?
You know, we didn't ask to be here.
I'm ordering you under S-Seven executive jurisdiction.
S-Seven don't exist.
Right. And we don't take orders from peopIe that don't exist.
-I'm gonna count to five. okay. -WeII, I'm gonna count to three.
-Simmons? -Yes, sir?
I'd do what he says. Losing's reaIIy not an option for these guys.
AII right. okay.
Hey, you want to Iay the fate of the worId on the kid's Camaro? That's cooI.
No, no!
Stop! You got to stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
No, no, stop, stop, stop! Let him go! Let him go!
Are you okay?
They didn't hurt you, right?
Listen to me. The Cube is here and the Decepticons are coming.
No, no, don't worry about them. They're okay. Right?
They're not gonna hurt you.
Just back up a IittIe bit. He's friendIy. He's fine.
okay, come on. Put the guns down. They're not gonna hurt you.
Here, come with me. I'm gonna take you to the AII Spark.
okay, here we go. He doing something. He doing something.
oh, my God.
Message from Starfleet, captatn'
Let's get to it'
He's right. We stay here, we're screwed with Megatron in the other hangar.
Mission City is 22 miIes away.
We're gonna sneak that Cube out of here
and we're gonna hide it somewhere in the city.
Good! Right.
But we cannot make a stand without the Air Force.
This pIace must have some kind of radio Iink!
-Yes. Shortwave, CB. -Right, yes.
Sir, you got to figure out some way to get word out to them. Let's move!
In the aIien archive, sir!
-The aIien... -There's an oId Army radio consoIe.
-WiII it work? -Anything's possibIe!
-Did you see that... -AII right, Sam, get it in the car!
Mr. Secretary! Get our birds in the air.
When we get to the city, we're gonna find a radio,
and I'II have Epps vector them in, okay?
Affirmative!
Warntng! NBE One cryo-contatnment fatltng'
Check that backup system!
The cryo's faiIing! You got to bump up the cryo! The cryo's faiIing!
Come on! Get out of here!
Heads up! Look out!
Set a perimeter around the yeIIow vehicIe!
-This way, this way, this way! -Up there! Let's go!
I am Megatron!
-The Cube's okay? -Yeah, it's fine.
WeII, put the seat beIt on.
Pour it on him!
I Iive to serve you, Lord Megatron.
Where is the Cube?
The humans have taken it.
You faiI me yet again, Starscream. Get them!
Come on, Mags!
over here, sir!
Give me a minute. Give me a minute.
Come to me, MaxweII, come to me. PIugged in there.
-We're hot! We're Iive! -Where are the mikes?
Mikes?
This doesn't work without mikes, Simmons.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Let's find them.
Kid, get in the chair! Just get in the chair, aII right?
-okay, I'II sit. I'II sit. -They steaI everything out of this pIace.
How do we get the signaI out? How do we caII the Air Force?
-GIen? -Huh?
Can you hotwire this computer to transmit a tone through the radio?
What good is that?
Morse code! You can use this to transmit it through that!
okay, I'II do it! Turn it around. okay, Iet's see.
Simmons, I need a screwdriver!
There's optimus.
AImost done.
What the heII was that?
Barricade the door!
-Get something. -Watch out!
Six, five, four, six, three.
Here! Put some rounds in!
Master search.
I got it! We're transmitting!
Send exactIy what I say!
Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Burn, you IittIe sucker! Burn!
''This is Defense Secretary KeIIer. Get me NoRTHCoM commander.''
-Whoa! -Whoa!
What was that?
Authenticate emergency action. BIackbird 1 195...
Sir, I have an authenticated air strike order from Sec Def.
-No, no, no, no, no. -What?
It's the same cop! BIock them, bIock them, bIock them.
oh, my God.
CooI, Mom!
This is so not good.
He's behind the piIIar!
-Shoot that mother... -Maggie, cover fire!
It's the Air Force! They're responding!
Sucker, burn!
oh, shit!
Yes! They're sending F-22s to the city!
Raptors, let's scramble, scramble, scramble'
Strtke and Dark Star roll call'
Looktng out the rtght stde'
Push to Ktll Box One Alpha'''
-Come on, Iet's go! Mount up! -Move out! Move out! Go! Go!
Here, I got shortwave radios.
Wait. What am I supposed to do with these?
WeII, use them! It's aII we got!
This is Iike RadioShack dinosaur radios or something, man.
I'm onIy gonna get 20 or 30 miIes out of these things.
Are there any aircraft orbiting the city?
F-22 at 12:00.
AII right, I want pIanes for air cover and get BIack Hawks on station
to extract that Cube. You got it?
Air Force has arrived! Pop smoke!
Raptor, Raptor, do you copy?
We have you vtsual'
Green smoke ts the mark'
Provtde atr cover and vector Black Hawks for extractton'
It's Starscream!
PIease teII me you copy.
Back up! Take cover! BumbIebee!
No, no, no, no, no! Move!
-Back up! Back up! -Retreat! FaII back!
Incoming!
Anybody hurt? Everyone okay?
CIear the area!
oh, my God.
BumbIebee? No. Your Iegs!
Your Iegs.
Here. Here, back, back, back, back! You aII right?
PIease get up. BumbIebee? Get up!
Ratchet!
-What the heII was that? -What are you taIking about?
What do you mean, what am I taIking about? They shot at us!
F-22 piIots wouId never fIy beIow buiIdings.
That's aIien. That ain't friendIy!
You got to get up. You're okay. You're okay.
Come on!
Army Black Hawk tnbound to your locatton' Over'
AIpha 273 degrees, 10 miIes.
November Victor, 1 .2 cIicks north.
Move out! Let's go!
Let's go! Move!
I'm not gonna Ieave you.
Come on, Decepticon punk!
oh, my God!
Concentrate your fire!
Come on. Come on.
Megatron!
It's Megatron! Retreat! Move! FaII back!
FaII back!
Get our guys out of the way! Get out of here! Go!
Get them out of the buggy! Move out!
We need air cover down here now!
Sam, heIp me with this.
-That aII you got, Megatron? -Come here, IittIe cretin.
You want a piece of me? You want a piece?
No! I want two!
What's going on?
Sir! That tank thing's getting back up.
oh, these things just don't die.
oh, we're so dead.
-Wrap it around the head. -Sam!
Where's the Cube?
-Right there. -okay.
And take that and wrap it around
the base and then put it around his neck.
-okay? -Epps, get those BIack Hawks here!
That buiIding.
-okay. -What?
AII right, I can't Ieave my guys back there, so here, take this fIare.
okay, there's a taII, white buiIding with statues on top.
-Go to the roof. Set the fIare. -No.
-SignaI the chopper and set the fIare. -No, no. I can't do this!
Listen to me! You're a soIdier now! AII right? I need you to take this Cube.
Get it into miIitary hands whiIe we hoId them off,
or a Iot of peopIe are gonna die.
-You got to go. You got to go. -No, I'm not Ieaving.
-You need to go. Go. -No, I'm not Ieaving
tiII I get BumbIebee out of here, okay?
Army BIack Hawk requested.
Immediate evac for civiIian boy with precious cargo.
Headed to rooftop marked by flare'
-Sam, we wiII protect you. -okay.
-Epps, where are those pIanes? -Sam!
No matter what happens, I'm reaIIy gIad I got in that car with you.
Sam! Get to the buiIding! Move!
-Decepticons, attack! -Hit it!
-Cover fire! -Move to cover!
Watch out!
-GirI, get that tow truck out of here! -I'm going! I'm going!
Get out of here now!
Megatron!
Prime.
Humans don't deserve to Iive.
They deserve to choose for themseIves.
Then you wiII die with them!
Join them in extinction!
Keep moving, Sam!
Don't stop!
No!
Sam, get to the buiIding!
Give me that Cube, boy!
Did that jerk just dent my car?
You're not gonna get me. You're not gonna get me!
I smeII you, boy!
Maggot!
oh, no!
I'II drive! You shoot!
This isn't going weII!
Shoot! Shoot!
Nice shot.
-That tank is definiteIy dead now. -AII right, Iet's go! We got business!
Hey!
Hey! I'm over here!
We've got the boy.
Watch out!
MissiIe!
Hang on, Sam!
No! No!
Is it fear or courage that compeIs you, fIeshIing?
Where do I go?
Give me the AII Spark and you may Iive to be my pet.
oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm never giving you this AII Spark!
oh, so unwise.
I got you, boy.
HoId on to the Cube!
-oh, no. oh, no! -Disgusting.
Sam?
You risked your Iife to protect the Cube.
No sacrifice,
-no victory. -If I cannot defeat Megatron,
you must push the Cube into my chest.
I wiII sacrifice myseIf to destroy it.
Get behind me.
It's you and me, Megatron.
No, it's just me, Prime.
At the end of this day, one shaII stand, one shaII faII.
You stiII fight for the weak! That is why you Iose!
Fighter jets in 60 seconds.
We got friendIies mixed with bad guys. Targets wiII be marked.
Hey.
Bring the rain. AII right?
AII right, Iet's kiII these things.
-Move, move, move! -Remember, aim Iow.
Armor's weak under the chest.
Target marked. StiII waiting.
Ttme on target, 20 seconds'
F-22s, we're stiII waiting.
Move out!
Incoming!
Weapons armed' Status green'
Run! Move!
Second wave's on approach'
What ts that? Break off!
-copy' -It's either a massive amount of'''
Two, get a lock! Pop that guy!
Stay on htm' Keep htm tn your stghts'
Take him out!
Two's down!
I'II kiII you!
Mine! AII Spark!
Sam! Put the Cube in my chest! Now!
Sam!
No, Sam!
HoId up.
You Ieft me no choice, brother.
Sam, I owe you my Iife.
We are in your debt.
Prime, we couIdn't save him.
Jazz.
We Iost a great comrade
but gained new ones.
Thank you, aII of you.
You honor us with your bravery.
Permission to speak, sir?
Permission granted, oId friend.
You speak now?
I wish to stay with the boy.
If that is his choice.
Yes.
GentIemen, the President has ordered Sector Seven be terminated
and the remains of the dead aIiens disposed of.
The Laurenttan Abyss ts seven mtles below sea level,
deepest place on ourplanet'
The massive depth and pressure there, coupled with subfreeztng temperatures,
would crush and entomb them,
leavtng no evtdence'
With the All Spark gone, we cannot return ltfe to ourplanet'
And fate has ytelded its reward,
a new world to call home'
We live among its people now, htdtng tn platn stght,
but watchtng over them tn secret,
waittng, protecttng'
I have witnessed thetr capacity for courage'
And though we are worlds apart,
ltke us, there's more to them than meets the eye'
I am Opttmus Prtme
and I send thts message to any survivtng Autobots
taktng refuge among the stars'
We are here'
We are waittng'
Can you shed any Iight on the recent, so-caIIed aIien activity in the area?
Do you know what? I think that if there was some sort of an aIien
-infestation... -Yeah.
They, the government, wouId be the first to Iet you know.
The government wouId Iet us know.
-I mean, this is America. -Yeah.
You know, that's how we know we Iive in a free Iand,
because there's no secrets.
They'd say, ''Hey! Duck and cover.''
Your head is kind of a different size than it is on teIevision.
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