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Earth. Birth place of the human race.
A species much like our own.
Capable of great compassion...
17,000 BC.
and great violence.
For in our quest to protect the humans,
a deeper revelation dawns.
Our worlds have met before.
Here, here.
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Shanghai, China, 22:14, Today
Breaking news at Shanghai.
There's been a major toxic spill on the Shanghai Central District.
- Citizens today-- - For today,
our topic that's a developing story for you,
we will bring you any new information
as we get it...
Pentagon: NEST Central Command
- What's the status? - Sea hawks approaching target.
Three minutes until evacuation's complete, sir.
Chinese airspace has been locked and sealed.
One mile radius.
Alright, give NEST team the go.
Black Hawks, clear to land.
# Ding-a-ling, come out and get your ice cream #
Any bad robot out there better get ready for an ass-whooping.
[Popsicles]
For the last two years, an advanced team of new Autobots
has taken refuge here under my command.
Arcees, get ready to launch.
We're locked and loaded.
Together, we form an alliance with the humans.
A secret, a brave squad of soldiers.
Alright, that's enough.
Time discovered story in this one is toxic spill.
They had to evac the area for search and rescue.
This makes six enemy contacts in eight months.
We gotta make sure this one does not get out the public eyes
so keep it tight.
A classified strike team called NEST.
We hunt for what remains of our Decepticon foes,
hiding in different countries around the globe.
Rolling Alpha through Echo now.
Alright, Ironhide.
We got echoes. Vamos.
To the stacks. Two o'clock.
He's here.
I smell him.
It's close. It's getting closer.
Oh, no.
How are ya?
It's three ripple.
Alright, everybody, be steady.
We're right on top of it.
Ease on fire.
Hand to one. Requesting fire mission now!
Gunships on station. Rolling hot.
We intercepted a Decepticon.
Arcee twins, target coming your way.
Watch out!
I screwed that up. I'm okay, I'm alright.
This is kinda bad, man. What's wrong with you?
Three inside swipe.
Clear the path.
Damn, I'm good.
Air support, we need Big Booter delivered and dropped now.
Code 9-A...
Dropping in five, four, three, two, one.
Autobots, I'm in pursuit.
Pull over.
Punk-ass Decepticon,
any last words?
This is not your planet to rule.
The Fallen shall rise again.
That doesn't sound good.
Not today.
Come on, let's go. All hands on deck.
Frankie, Mojo, out.
Come on, kiddo,
- we're on a schedule here. - Slow down, Dad.
Why are you in such a hurry to get rid of me, huh?
Did you rent the room out?
No, I got other ideas for your room
and it rhymes with home theater.
Look what I found. It's your little baby booties.
Oh, Ma...
Oh my little baby, booty boy, you can't go.
You see this, Dad?
That's not how you're supposed to react
when the fruit of your loins goes out on patrol to prep for himself, okay?
Yeah, my heart breaks for you, pal. College, bummer.
You have to come home every holiday,
not just big ones.
You have to come home for Halloween.
I can't come home for Halloween, Mom.
- We'll come to you. - No, we're not going anywhere.
- You dress up, we'll be in costumes. - You-You can't do that.
Would you let the kid breathe, for crying out loud?
Come on, go, pack!
There's no way you're packed
for a month long trip. Come on!
Chop-chop. Let's go!
March, young lady.
Oh, oh, Dad!
I love you when you call me young lady, you dirty old man.
Nah, you ain't seen nothing yet.
- Dad, Dad, Dad, whoa! - What?
I'm watching what you're doing, Dad.
It's not a rap video.
Just like a coach thing, you know.
That's a really creepy move just now, Dad.
Look, you're the hero, uh...
Your mother and me are really, really proud of you.
You're the first Witwicky ever to go to college.
Now I'm crying again. This sucks!
You're gonna be okay, Ma.
Now this is going to be, uh...
you know, hard for her to...
accept that her boy's all grown up, you know.
Going out to handle the world on his own.
- You okay, Pop? - Yeah.
Mojo, no dominating Frankie!
Get the hell of the couch, ya filthy beasts!
Wow.
You see a lot of that in college too.
What are you talking about, Dad?
There's gonna be a lot of women there.
Yeah, well, I'm the one-woman kind of guy.
Look, Mikaela is the greatest,
but you gotta give each other room to grow, okay?
You're no different than any other couple your age.
Till we discovered an alien race together.
How long are you gonna be riding that scooter?
[SONG: 21 Guns BAND: Green Day]
Dad, listen, I know what the odds are.
We're the exception, okay?
Wait a second...
- Oh, who could that be? - Two weeks, it could be Muffy.
Hey, beautiful.
- I'm breaking up with you, Sam. - Really?
You sure? I don't hear a lot of conviction.
Well, I am, okay?
So there's no reason for me to come say goodbye to you.
Wow, you almost sounded serious that time.
Guess what?
I made you a long-distance relationship kit.
Yeah, I got you a webcam so we can chat 24/7.
All Witwicky all the time.
I got you a couple of souvenirs
that you bet that cannot be mentioned on cell phone.
Some mixes and candles and stuff...
Sounds cute, I can't wait.
Oh, hey!
You want the infamous D-Day shirt?
You kept your nasty, shredded clothes?
Yeah, of course I kept it, Mikaela.
It's like my Superbowl jersey. I bled in this thing.
Wow, you're pretty confident, huh?
No, it's not that.
It's just that my low self-esteem's at an all-time high.
Do you think your little box of souvenirs
is gonna keep me from leaving you?
You really should come with me,
they got cheap apartments in campus.
Well, that's not gonna happen
until I get my man child father rushed out of prison,
back on his feet.
I heard that.
Where did you put the clutch covers?
Next to the cam shafts.
I love it when you say cam shafts. Whisper it to me.
Cam shafts.
God, I hate you.
It's my Witwicky charm.
Wait, hold on. Wait, hold on a second.
I guess we're not breaking up.
I'll be over in 20.
Mikaela...
I think this little bit Cube got stuck on my shirt.
Sam?
Oh God! It's a fire!
Dad, we got a fire!
Fire!
Ron, did you know it was gonna be this hard?
C-Can you just stop?
- Yeah, okay, I'll stop. - Just wait...
- You carry this shit. - I'll--I'll...
- Wow! - You know what?
I don't wanna go anywhere with you.
I don't wanna go to France with you.
I don't wanna go around the corner with you.
- Alright, fine. - I'm just going back inside.
I'll call you from Paris.
What is all the racket?
- Whoa. - Sam?
- Whoa, whoa. - Dad...
- What was that? - It's the whole kitchen!
Help me... Oh my--
Bumblebee!
Oh, jeez!
Phone 9-1-1.
Bumblebee! Get in the garage.
What the frick is happening?
What happened to restraint, man?
Just go in the garage, quietly please?
Holy mother!
Oh, my God!
I--In the garage, now!
Power's out! Get the cops out!
Come on, you guys. What are you waiting for?
My house is on fire!
- What happened? - Come here.
Listen, I need you to take the Cube sliver.
Put it in your purse, right now.
- Sam Witwicky... - Yes, Mom.
- A word with you. - Yeah.
- Hi, Mikaela. - Hi.
- I have a bald spot. - Oh.
- An old furnace, I think. - Become a waffle iron.
When you go, he goes.
I cannot live with this psychotic alien in my garage.
Judy, shh.
National security.
Look, if we stay quiet, they're gonna take care of everything.
Just consider this the official start of a remodel, okay?
Fine. If the government's paying, I want a pool...
- and a hot tub. - Fine. Okay.
And I'm gonna skinny-dip and you can't say shit about it!
Yeah, you know you're a tool.
- He's having voice problems. - He's playing it up.
Bee, I want to talk to you about the college thing, okay?
# I'm so excited #
Hey.
I'm not taking you with me.
I wanna wait outside, okay?
I wanted to tell you about this earlier.
It's just that-- You know,
Here's the thing.
Freshmen aren't allowed to have cars.
I know, and if it was up to me, I'd take you with me, but it's not, Bee.
Look, you're an Autobot.
You shouldn't be living in my dad's garage.
I mean, you're suffocating in here.
You deserve better than this.
This is hard enough, man,
don't make it harder. Can you just look at me, please?
Come on, big guy.
Look, the guardian thing is done, okay? You did your job.
Look, I'm safe now.
You need to go be with Optimus Prime and the others.
I just want to be normal, Bee.
That's why I'm going to college.
I can't do that with you.
It's not the last time I'm gonna see you, you know, Bee.
Come on, don't do that. Bee. You're killing me, Bee.
But you'll always be my first car.
Love you, Bee.
Wow!
Between state farm and the taxpayers, we're all taken care of.
- You got dirt all over you. - Stop, stop.
- What? - It's--I'm okay.
Well, look.
So you think you can make it
through those East Coast winners without me?
You're like the best thing that ever happened to me.
And?
- And I'll do anything for you. - And?
- I think Sam's about to say the L word. - Let's go, kiddo.
Nice timing, Dad.
I... adore you.
That's not the word that I wanna hear right now.
What are you talking about?
It's the same word as the other word.
- It's not the same word. - Look, if I said the other word now,
you forced me to say won't mean anything.
Plus, you haven't said it either.
So don't get mad at me for not saying it.
Yeah, but I haven't said it
because guys always run when you say it first.
Yeah, well, so do girls.
Especially, girls like you with options.
So this is all part of your elaborate plan
to keep me interested?
Can be.
Ain't those working?
Have a kiss.
We'll make it work, I promise.
[SONG: Never Say Never BAND: The Fray]
The female has the Cube fragment.
Soundwave acknowledges. Pursue her.
Retrieve it.
NEST: Secret Operations, Diego Garcia, Indian Ocean
Autobot twins, report to Hangar Three.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hello. Those are nice. Yeah, baby, it's upgrade time.
Yes, oh, yeah. Look here. Come on, let me call right here.
Time to get my sexy on with the green.
Green? Oh no,
Green is mine, I call green.
Be my body.
- I got the green. - That hurt, man.
It's supposed to hurt. It's an ass kicking.
Director Galloway, what an honor.
Let me show you around
but you gotta be in the classified access list.
I am now.
Presidential order, Major.
I got a message for your classified space buddies.
You guys made a mess at Shanghai.
Alright, so this is where we communicate with the JCS.
And this area serves as the Autobots' hangar.
Secured line to JCS is up, Major.
US Military Satellite
Secured line to the Pentagon now.
Saw the Shanghai op. It was a rough day.
Yes, sir.
We have intel that I believe warns an immediate debrief.
Now with your permission, I can't let you see him
but I would like you to hear from the leader of the Autobots.
Proceed.
You gotta wonder.
God made us in his image. Who made him?
General, our alliance has countermanded 6 Decepticon incursions this year.
Each on a different continent.
They're clearly searching around the world for something.
But last night's encounter came with a warning:
The Fallen shall rise again.
"The Fallen." Meaning what?
Origin: Unknown.
They only recorded
history of our race was contained within the All-Spark,
lost with its destruction.
Excuse me!
With this so-called "All-Spark" now destroyed,
why hasn't the enemy left the planet
like you thought they would?
Director Galloway, our national security advisor.
The President just appointed him liasion.
- It's too, uh... - Well, I guess I didn't get that memo.
Forgive the interruption, General. Excuse me, coming through.
Excuse me, excuse me...
After all the damage in Shanghai,
the President is, uh...
hard-pressed to say the job's getting done.
Now, under the classified Alien Autobot Cooperation Act,
you are agreeing to share your intel with us,
but not your advancements in weaponry.
We've witnessed your human capacity for war.
It would absolutely bring more harm than good.
But who are you to judge what's best for us?
With all due respect, we've been fighting side-by-side
in the field for two years.
We've shared blood, sweat and precious metal together.
Soldier, you're paid to shoot, not talk.
Don't tempt me.
And the, uh...
- The newest members of your team... - Easy...
I understand they arrived here after you sent a message into space.
An open invitation to come to Earth,
vetted by no one at the White House.
Let me stop you right there, Mr. Galloway.
It was vetted right here.
And in my experience, the judgement of both Major Lennox and his team
has always been above reproach.
Well be that as it may, General, it is the position of the President
that when our national security is at stake,
no one is above reproach.
Now, what do we know so far?
We know that the enemy leader,
classified NBE-1, AKA Megatron,
is resting in peace
at the bottom of the Laurentian Abyss,
surrounded by SOSUS detection nets
and a full-time submarine surveillance.
We also know that
the only remaining piece of your alien All-Spark
is locked in an electromagnetic vault,
here on one of the most secure naval bases in the world.
Decepticons, we have located the shard.
And since no one...
can seem to tell me what the enemy is now after,
well, there--there's only one clear conclusion:
You. The Autobots.
They're here to hunt you.
What's there to hunt for on Earth besides that?
"The Fallen... shall rise again"?
Sounds to me like something's coming.
So let me ask if we ultimately conclude
that our national security is best served
by denying you further asylum on our planet,
will you leave peacefully?
Freedom is your right.
If you make that request, we will honor it.
But before your president decides, please ask him this:
What if we leave and you were wrong?
That's a good question.
Oh, my gosh,
look at this place!
I feel smarter already.
Ron, can you smell it?
Yeah, smells like $40,000 a year.
Okay, cheapo.
Go ahead, we'll, uh... We'll get your stuff.
Just go ahead and check out your room.
[SONG: 21 Guns BAND: Green Day]
- Hey. - Hey.
You must be Sam, right? I'm Leo.
Hey.
Uh, sorry, I already set up the crib. Do you want this side or that side?
- That side. - I already chose that side.
You know what this is? This is the awkward moment.
Yeah, so you're trying to see if I'm a normal guy,
I'm trying to see if you're a normal guy,
balanced and medicated enough for another curl space.
Good personal hygiene won't stab me in my sleep.
Good criminal record won't steal anything.
- Including girlfriends. - Especially girlfriends.
- You got a girlfriend? - I do.
- You? - No, not a chance.
- You're a techie? - Hmm.
Sweet.
- Sharsky, Fassbinder, where we at? - Server's almost online, Leo.
It works up and running.
Beautiful, that's what I like to hear.
- That's Sharsky, that's Spastik, - Hey, dude.
my I.T. gurus.
Welcome to my empire, bro. TheRealEffinDeal.com.
That's me, I'm sure you've heard of it.
- No, I haven't. - Well, that sucks.
- What is all this for? - See, look...
Call me gross, I wanna be a baby billionaire.
Kitten calendars.
It's where it started. Look at me now.
Got our dreams, bro.
Leo, we got some bad news in Shanghai.
Post it, baby. Go, go, go! FTJ, FTJ!
- It's clean. - What's FTJ?
- Fuel the jet, fuel the jet. - FTJ, FTJ.
- This is it. Did you see that? - Wow. Okay, this half of Shanghai
gets rigged when China says gas leak.
Don't believe the hype, bro.
Just like the alien robots in LA two years ago that everyone covered up.
Yeah, I saw these robots and they did this, like,
firing thing and they came down and twisted this woman
- and she was like-- - Looks fake to me.
Dude, it's not fake. The Internet's pure truth.
- Neither does it lie. - It looks fake.
No, man, I've seen them. They are like these, uh, robots...
Look, look, look, it's fake. Anybody can do it on any computer, okay?
And I wasn't, uh... there.
So I can't comment or speculate.
- Oh, no. - "Comment and speculate"?
We're supposed to go habitate?
No, listen, okay. Don't be sucking the sack, bro.
- Whose sack? - Look, the ball sack.
- Dude, what kind of tool are you? - Mainstream media sack.
They're lying to us, alright.
- It's aliens, man. - Okay, okay.
Follow me.
Uh-oh. Uh, Leo. Bad news, we just got scooped.
The video's already up on GeoBoard.
Damn... No!
Robo-Warrior has a main competition, our conspiracy step.
Effing was my effing idea. He stole it.
He's been looking to my site and thieving hits for ever!
By the way, I read your file.
I'm poor, you're poor... We're gonna fix that, alright?
You work for me now.
I work for you now?
That's incredible. It's first day of college,
I got a career, a dinky internet firm,
with a boss who is made up of just pure champion stuff.
You're mocking my life's work, Samuel? Huh?
That's your one warning patrolling, dude.
Don't make me that fast *** 'cause I'll do it.
Hey alright, listen. It's getting a little intense in my room.
- Can I switch now? - Oh, sad face, 3-12.
No switching, no treating. Let's turn that mouth upside-down, okay?
- Oh, here we go. - Hey, hi.
It's just like Hogwarts. Hi!
Is this co-ed? This is a co-ed dorm.
Do you guys want to meet my roommates?
- Yeah. - 'Cause they're real swell guys.
- Here is Leo. - We're the Witwicky.
- I'm Leo. - I'm Judy.
Hey, you have a great son. You really do.
Oh, well aren't you the sweetest thing?
He's real sweet, Ma.
What is that in your hand, by the way?
Oh, I got this at the bake sale for the environment
that those boys were having.
You know, you don't often see white boys
with the dreadlocks.
- Mom. - Yeah, it's a 100 percent pure Hawaiian
- green for the environment. - Jud--Can you please drop it?
Yeah, then they baked it with reefer in it.
- No, it's canna-- Hey! - Please give me.
Hey! It's my cheap day. I can eat whatever I want.
Please God, I'm gonna freak out. Please do something right now, Dad.
- Please do something right now. - Okay, okay.
Out of my way, you wild hair!
I can eat all the freaking brownies I want!
Sorry, fellas.
I'm sorry and you're welcome.
Oh my God... the house is on fire...
We call it the Hot Freshmen 55.
Sharsky hacked campus house and stacked the dorm with pretty beddies.
Wow. Nice.
Oh, my God. It's her.
She's coming. She sees me, she sees me.
She's high for me on one on my to-do list.*
Do not bird-dog my credit, you hear me?*
Pretty girls.
Hey, you. My son lives in this dorm.
You should go make friends with him,
- he's bad. - Bless she ain't my mama.
And he recently had his cherry popped.
He didn't know I was in the house.
- I heard it all. - Hey, hey, hey.
There he is!
Oh, you might get into my closet and dress up like boy spice.
Hey, and his car is a talking robot!
No, like a... like a GPS, All-Star.
- Okay. - All-Star.
Frisbee. Whoo!
No, Dad.
Dad, you're just gonna let her run around school.
- Are you alright? - Whoa.
Give me.
Are you crazy?
Judy, Judy. Just--Just put it- Just put it down.
You gotta control your mother.
I wasn't doing this.
Hey, Professor. I'd do anything for an A.
Alright, Grace...
Looks like we got some snacks in the car. Let's go.
- Whoo! - Did you get the booties?
Yes, Dad, I got the booties!
- Alright, alright. - Oh my God, I'm upside-down!
Black Light in X-Trait. This is Black Light in Tango.
Breach in B-14.
Go, go, go, go, go!
The Shard is gone.
Take him down!
- Open fire. - Get down!
The first frat party's the game change of boys,
we're hunting in the wild now, so get your game faces on.
I can't stay long, I have a webcam date with my girlfriend.
- That's so cool. - No, it's not.
[SONG: Burning Down The House BAND: The Used]
While he's making up with his MacBook,
I'm gonna be dating my spitzy, freaky freak on.
- Let's roll. - She's hot.
We're, uh... We're hunting.
- See you, darling. - Bye, Dad.
Okay.
This is our first live chat date. Never done it before.
I'm kind of nervous.
- Are you okay? - No, uh...
I was getting a napkin for my drink.
Thanks. Cheers!
- You're Sam, right? - Yeah.
I wanna dance.
Like--like dancing?
Like a pairing? Like a duo, like a coupling?
'Cause I'm in a permanently, semi--
- I'm in a relationship, kind of. - Oh, relax.
I just want to have some fun.
Oh, just some fun? Oh yeah, okay.
Let's play some checkers. You can sit over there, and, uh...
- Oh my God. - So how about tonight,
you pretend I'm your girlfriend and I pretend that you're my boyfriend.
Hey! Who broke the frickin' yellow Camaro?
Huh? There's a car on the run.
[SONG: Burn It To The Ground BAND: Nickleback]
What are you doing?
Houston, we have a problem.
- What is it? - Freshman!
- Yeah. - Is that your car on our bushes?
No, there's a friend of mine who just went to a **
who went to get you a tighter shirt.
There isn't a tighter shirt. We checked.
Now how about I park my foot in your ass?
What size shoe do you wear?
- Yeah, oh, you ain't-- - Hold on, hold-- Whoa!
Are you--Are you trying?
I'm gonna back it up right now.
Get it out of here.
You have a ride?
Bro, why you holding onto us?
I've only known you 17 hours.
This is gonna really change our lives.
You have no idea.
I love Camaros.
- I can't do this right now, okay? - Don't be a wimp.
Oh, God.
- My first car was my Dad's '92 Z-28. - Yeah?
Fuel-injected.
The roar of the engine. It just...tickles me.
We shouldn't, uh, stare... I mean, share stories...
to each other at all.
Come on, Sam. Just one ride...
[SONG: Your Cheatin' Heart ARTIST: Frank Williams]
[SONG: The Jaws Theme COMPOSER: John Williams]
Don't. Don't.
[SONG: Super Freak ARTIST: Rick James]
Is your radio broke?
- No, my concentration is-- - We're not cheating.
Not yet.
Something wrong here?
Ow! Oh, God! You okay?
I really don't know what to tell you,
this car-- It just has a lot of problems.
A lot of prob--
Oh, God. Oh, it's in my mouth. Oh...
Are you okay?
I got wetnaps. I got wetnaps for your face.
Hold on.
I'm so sorry!
What are you doing?
You won't give me a day, huh?
- You won't give me one day in college. - I'm sorry, Sam.
But the last fragment of the All-Spark was stolen.
Like what? Like Decepticon-stolen?
We placed it under human protection at your government's request.
But I'm here for your help, Sam.
Because your leaders believed we brought vengeance upon your planet.
Perhaps they are right.
That is why they must be reminded by another human
of the trust we share.
- This isn't my war. - Not yet.
But I fear it soon will be.
Your world must not share the same fate as Cybertron.
Whole generations lost.
I know and I-I wanna help you. I do.
But I'm not some alien ambassador.
You know, I'm a normal kid with normal problems.
I am where I'm supposed to be.
I'm sorry, I--
I really am.
Sam, fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.
You're Optimus Prime. You don't need me.
We do... more than you know.
North Atlantic, 07:13 AM
USS Topeka SSN-754
New contact, bearing 214 and possible hostile
confirmed for Project Beat Six drop-point.
- What you got? - Sue, pull five contacts.
5,000 feet. Diving fast.
There's isn't anything that dives that deep that fast.
- Man battle stations. - Sealer One, man battle stations.
Helm, not pull rudder, all ahead two-thirds.
Dive, go deep.
The NEST protecting NBE-1 are screaming, sir.
That is 9,300 fathoms down.
- And no confirmed DSRVs on sight? - None, sir.
Then, people, we've got a problem.
Kill such little one.
Sea shard, make Energon.
Prime sonar now holds six contacts and they're coming up fast.
Man collisional arm ***
*** are 500 feet.
Let's get out of here.
Angel Six,
we got six hostiles coming up.
- Collision imminent. Portside-- - 100 feet.
Brace for impact.
Starscream, I'm home.
Behold, Megatron, I was so relieved
to hear of your... resurrection.
You left me to die, you pathetic insect!
Only to help spawn our new army,
the Fallen decrees it, after all, in your absence,
someone had to take command.
You...
are so disappointing.
Even in death, there's no command but mine.
My master, I failed you on Earth.
The All-Spark is destroyed,
and without it, our race will perish.
You have much to learn, my disciple.
The Cube is merely a vessel.
It's power, it's knowledge can never be destroyed.
It can only transform.
- How is that possible? - It has been absorbed
by the human child.
The key to saving our race now lies within his mind.
Well then, let me strip the very flesh from his body.
And you will, my apprentice,
in time. For millennia, I have dreamed of my return
to that wretched planet, where I too was once betrayed
by the Primes I called my brothers.
Only a Prime can defeat me, and now only one remains.
Optimus. He protects the boy.
Then the boy will lead us to him
and revenge will be ours.
Yes.
The boy will not escape us. We have him in our sights.
Without more Energon, hatchlings will keep dying.
Space, time, gravity.
- Thank you. - Finish that for me.
We're going on a journey together,
you and I, today.
All you, eager nubile young minds on the very cusp of adulthood.
And I shall be your consort, your guide,
your chaperone, into the heart of darkness.
Welcome to Astronomy 101.
For what do we know about the stars?
Virgo... the virgin.
Orion, the great hunter.
These are no mere twinkling diamonds
for lovely maidens to wish upon.
No, they are diamond, filled with a throbbing,
savage and hemped-up energy.
Behold the work of Albert Einstein,
a professor once, like moi,
- energy, in its mass temp-- - What are you doing?
Put your hand down, put your hand down.
Young man, there are no questions
until I've reached the climax of my lecture.
I've just finished your book. There's only one problem:
Einstein's wrong.
Energy doesn't go mass times velocity light square
in this dimension. What about the other 17
while we're impossible to give 17?
A clear example:
Come on, guys, I can't be the only one in class--
Young man, I will not be punked in front of the dean.
No, this is my universe here. Do you understand?
I am the Alpha and the Omega.
- Get out of my class. - Yes, sir.
Any one else care to have some sort of mental breakdown?
Hi, Bones. Hi!
Hi! Oh yes, that's a good boy.
Oh, what a good boy, you are.
Hey, Bones.
You hungry?
Here you go.
- Yes, Samuel. - Hello? Mikaela.
I can't believe you're gonna stand me up on our first web chat date.
Something just happened to me, okay?
- Wait, you finally hit puberty? - No, no, no,
Stop laughing. This is serious.
Okay, remember I was telling you about
my great-great-grandfather, Archibald Witwicky?
Do you remember?
Watch where you're supposed to go!
Okay, remember I was telling you about, okay...
Can you stop... Watch the foot! Watch your foot!
Mikaela, okay, my great-great-grandfather went to this Arctic mission, right?
And he saw Megatron, Megatron zapped him
and he started seeing these crazy symbols, okay.
Well, now I'm seeing them too. Excuse me.
I just read a 903-page astronomy book at 32.6 seconds
and had a meltdown in the middle of my class.
I am seeing symbols ever since I--
- Since what? - Ever since I touched the Cube sliver.
Do you have it?
No, how about it's in the shop safe? It's fine.
Mi--Mikaela, do not touch it, okay? Don't touch it.
I'm not gonna touch it,
Sam, it's fine. It's locked away, no one knows where it is.
But I do.
You're hot, but you're ain't too bright.
There we go.
Oh, big son of a bitch!
What are you looking at, Slobberpuss?
Ah, what the--
This is a fricking House of Horrors.
Hold on.
Is that the best you got, huh?
Is that the best you can do?
What are you doing here, you little freak?
Ow, that's my eye, you crazy bitch!
You gotta talk now?
I... I seek knowledge of the Cube. The Fallen demands me.
What knowledge?
You got the shot, I need the shot, give me the shot, I need the shot.
Give me the shot, they're gonna whack me,
I'm gonna be dead without that shot.
Easy Warrior Goddess, I'm just a little salvage scrap drone.
- Then I'm your worst nightmare. - Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Hey, hey!
- What the hell was that? - I'll tell you later,
just not on open phone line, okay?
I'm gonna get on a plane right now. I'll be there later this afternoon.
Just be careful, Sam.
And have any stranger giving you anything suspicious to carry on today?
Yeah, a large box!
- No. - Good.
Major, incoming SOS from Autobots.
Multiple Decepticon contacts in motion. Vicinity eastern United States, sir.
- As in how many? - Unclear, sir.
Well, get clear.
Autobots on the move. Splitting into two teams, sir.
They're altering their course and they're heading to New York and Philadelphia.
Full weapons deployment. Wheels up in 20 minutes!
Flight Chairman throughout West Beverly Hills.*
Alicia, mi amor (my love), can I interest you in an 18 inch Zookeeper's Special?
Extra large double cheese with every known animal as a topping.
Basically it's 18 inches of meat.
Oh, so you're a vegetarian. Alright, it's cool. I am too.
Is Sam home?
Sam... I think he died but... why don't we check?
- Here we are. - Hey.
Have you ever had a song stuck in your ears?
It's like the worst song ever, but you can't help
whistle it or sing it. It's like, repeats itself,
repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself,
repeats itself... Kitten calendar, kitten calendar,
- kitten calendar, kitten calendar, - Dude,
- kitten calendar, kitten calendar, - What the F?
I know you're freaking out. Don't freak out, don't freak out.
Easy fix. Puzzle, code, in my head. Now it's on the walls.
Everything is good.
This is the part that--
Okay, what were you saying?
Alice, I'm horrified you had to see this. Let's go.
- Get out. - What?
Wait, wait, wait. C-Can I just sit and watch?
I-I'll eat my pizza quietly.
Sam, I knew there were something special about you.
Really?
And I know you know what happens
when two people in the room get together...
they're genuinely amazing... in bed.
- Thank you. - No problem.
Alright, listen, hold on. Boundaries. Flight on the plane.
Okay, I'm very ticklish.
- You have the need, Sam. Relax! - Why?
Oh, jeez!
Uh, what about this economy? It's crazy, isn't it?
- You are very aggressive. - Just relax.
You want some jerky meatloaf?
Sam?
S u B Z ~ V e R d i K T [Kept to prevent duplicate files]
Mikaela.
Is that your girlfriend?
Ex.
Mikaela, wait... I can explain every--
Sam, your bed-buddy, Alice.
What--
- It's coming! - This is an alien robot.
- You gotta move. Just run. - They're real?
Oh my God, I can't believe I once had sex with her in my dream.
I can tell that you really missed me a lot, Sam.
Look, it's not my fault, okay?
Listen, listen. I'm a victim.
Oh, you were a victim? Of what?
- Of what? A little 80-pound girl-- - Of--Of...
It's like getting humped in the neck by a mountain ox.
You didn't have to put your tongue in her mouth.
- I didn't. - You did.
Look, you ever had your stomach tounged by a mountain ox with a 5-foot tong?
It's not fun for me, okay, Mikaela.
And it smelled like--like diesel. Like a diesel. We didn't do it.
You're such a little girl.
You have ten seconds of silence, right now.
I'm not talking to you for ten seconds.
No, you can't give me the silence. You know what?
I'm not talking to you for ten seconds. You have three seconds left.
You know, what? You can give me the silence you want,
all you want but you can't give me the talking...
W-What were you gonna say?
I hope you had a lot of fun because this--
This is over!
Did she manage to get into
your mouth with that thing, bro? She did it, she went in it?
There are some embryo aliens
...gestating inside of you. You're going right now, bro.
You need to vomit right now. Yak it, yak it.
- Right now! - Who are you?
I am the only one ** speaks today, okay?
I'm the key to this.
The aliens, they want me because of my site.
Whoa!
Run!
Mikaela!
Watch out. We get in.
It's a bomb!
We gotta get that box.
This way.
Hey, let me out, let me out!
Oh my God, you know to hot-wire a car?
- That's so hot. - Drive, drive, drive.
She went there, she went there!
W-wait!
They can....
Cut, cut, cut.
Oh God!
Kiss this, bitch.
Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.
Okay, so what else's going right now, alright,
did you guys just mess with the minor details?
The thing you saw back there - that was a little babe.
Whoa! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Sam!
- Sam! - Hold on!
Hold on.
Sam!
I don't want to die! We're going to die! Oh my God!
Oh, Jesus! Oh, jeez!
Come here, boy.
Closer.
Okay.
- You remember me, don't you? - I did what you said, okay?
- Just don't hurt us. - Shut up!
Sam!
It feels good to grab your flesh.
I am going to kill you, slowly, painfully.
But first, we have some delicate work to do.
I could snap your limbs off.
Doctor, examine this alien specimen.
Sick of your face now.
Go that way.
A wormy that's crabby--
- Oh, there they are. - That's what I'm seeing in my head.
These symbols can lead us to the Energon source.
We must tear the brain!
Brain? What does he mean by my brain?
Well, you have something on your mind.
- Something I need. - Hold on. I know you're pissed.
I know you're pissed.
Because I tried to kill you and it's completely understandable.
Somebody tried to kill me, I'd be upset too.
I think that we have an opportunity here
to start a new and--and develop our relationship,
and--and, see where it leads us, okay?
So you just call doctor off,
I'll let you talk in five seconds.
W-Wait...
Go, go.
Go, go, go.
Sam!
Go, go, go, go!
Here he comes!
Hide, Sam! Hide.
Weak.
Puny.
Voiced-up.
Junkyard drone.
Decepticons!
Come here, boy.
There is another source of Energon hidden on this planet.
The boy can lead us to it.
Optimus!
Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Op, get up!
You'll never stop at one.
I'll take you all alive.
Sam, where are you?
You are so weak.
At last, Prime is dead.
Sam, run.
Autobots, attack!
Bumblebee, get them out of here.
This is Lennox.
That went well.
Lost the boy, Master.
The Autobots must be shielding the signals.
- I can't even rely on you. - Sorry. No.
What a simple insect!
- What insect amongst severed billion-- - Shut up.
It could be anywhere.
Then we will force them to find him for us.
It's time for the world to know of our presence.
No more disguises, no mercy!
Time has come for my master's arrival.
Decepticons, mobilise.
It is time.
Oh, that single's good!
Speaking French is so exciting.
Oh God, who is this?
Hello-- I mean, uh, bon--bonswa (good afternoon)!
What? Who is this?
Oh, for Pete's sakes.
I'm not impressed with your perverted mouth breathing.
New York City
Oh, jeez.
You are invading my space. I'm gonna have to drop you.
Would you get out of here?
Might freak me out.
We're gonna try new things.
Looks like Candian goosepoop.
It's nasty.
US Fleet 2, North Atlantic
That's fine, 1-2-5.
Revenge is mine.
Pentagon, Washington D.C.
...port accident for a terrorist attack, or worse.
Negative. NORAD confirmed
the projectile came from beyond our atmosphere,
inbound at 30,000 knot.
Citizens of the human hive,
your leaders have withheld the truth.
You are not alone in this universe.
We have lived among you, hidden...
but no more.
As you've seen,
we can destroy your cities at will.
Unless you turn over this boy.
If you resist us,
we will destroy the world as you know it.
What we're hearing from the German government is that
the world broadcast is a satellite hacking.
NEST TEAM - NEW JERSEY The military has just told us
NEST TEAM - NEW JERSEY they have assumed Condition Delta,
which is the highest level we've been at since 9/11.
President Obama is being flown to a bunker
somewhere in the middle of the United States.
in the phase of the worst simultaneous attacks ever
around the globe.
The aircraft carrier USS Roosevelt goes down off the East Coast.
All hands lost.
Worldwide casualties are in the neighbourhood of 7,000,
but that number could implode.
It's still too early to tell.
What we need to ask now, is who and why.
The FBI is still trying to locate the boy, Sam Witwicky.
Critically, they have information about our case.
The FBI, CIA and Interpol
are all seeking the cooperation of worldwide law enforcement.
Hey bro, you need to listen to this, man.
You gotta check this out.
Once they have a traffic camera spotting of Sam Witwicky.
They have a picture of me, man.
We're dead, bro. FBI, CIA, we're wanted fugitives now.
I just need you to focus just one minute, man.
This thing is blowing to a whole another level, alright.
- You know one thing-- - Remove this thing.
They can track us. Do you see this?
What?
They can track us?
Like satellite-track us?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, I'm not even with you guys.
Technically, I'm like a hostage. This is kidnapping. Enough--
Yo, Leo!
This thing's gonna give me a heart attack, I swear.
- That's 'cause you is a wuss. - You did force me into the car, right?
- So... - Oh, I think we scare you.
Hey, Mudflap.
What are we going to do with this shrimp taco?
Just pop a cap in his ass, throw him in the trunk
and nobody gonna know nothing, y'know I mean?
- Wait, not in my trunk-- - Yo, bumper cars,
Check it out. I'm hearing you, okay?
I'm right here and I can hear you.
No one's popping any caps in any asses, okay?
I've had a hell of a day.
Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass?
Go whine to your boyfriend.
Listen Sam, I know what I'm gonna do, man.
Look, I'm just going to go to the authorities
and tell them the truth. Like I had nothing to do with this,
- I'm an accomplice. - Hey, hey!
You wanted this, right? You wanted the real deal?
'Cause that's what this is. Wake up! You're in the middle of it.
You wanna run, go ahead, no one's stopping you.
Stop complaining.
What is the meaning of this?
You dare point your gun at me?
You want a piece of me? I will tear you apart!
Drop your weapons! Drop your weapons!
- Tell them to lower the weapons. - Tell them first.
- Tell them to lower the weapons! - Major, there's nothing I can do.
Talk to him.
Your NEST team is deactivated, Major.
You are to cease anti-Decepticon operations,
and return to Diego Garcia, pending further orders.
No. We're taking our orders directly from Chairman Morshower.
Well, I'll see your chairman and the Joint Chiefs of Staff
but I will raise you a President of the United States.
I have operational command now.
An alien blood feud has been brought to our shores
for which our soldiers are paying the price.
The secret is out. This is our war now.
And we will win it as we always have,
with a coordinated military strategy.
This fool is terribly misinformed.
You're gonna get every assets that you've got.
What we need is to draw our battle plans.
What we explore every possible, diplomatic solution.
Like what, handing over the kid?
All options are being considered.
Whatever the Decepticons are after,
this is just the start.
Wait, there is no negotiating with them.
I'm ordering you to stand down.
You won't be needing this any more.
Get your assets back to base.
Take that pile of scrap metal back to Diego Garcia.
Let's go.
I really don't like that dude.
He's an asshole.
Autobots, report to hangar for transport.
Ironhide, we should leave this planet.
That's not what Optimus would want.
There's nothing that you could have done.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Bee, if you hate me, I understand.
I messed up.
I'm sorry.
Young fella, you are... the person I care about most in my life.
If there's anything you need, I won't be far away.
He's dead because of me.
He came in to protect me and now he's dead.
There's some things you just can't change.
So this sacrifice was...
will not have been in vain, hallelujah!
We would make it right if I turn myself in.
But we, we've got to stick together.
You're not gonna do that.
Yes, I am.
Everything we worked for will be wiped out.
In one day.
- You two. - Huh?
Hey, you know the glyphs?
The symbols that have been rattling around in my head.
That's old school, yo.
That's like-- That's Cybertronian.
Oh, that's some serious stuff in there.
They gotta mean something, like a message...
or, like a-- like a map!
Like a map to an Energon source.
Can you read this?
- Read? Nah. - You see that?
No, we--we don't really do much reading.
Not so much.
Well if you can't read it, we gotta find somebody who can.
Oh, look, who came sashaying back.
Hair grown like a chip, there, look it.**
I had a bit of a mild panic attack earlier, alright?
That's 'cause you're a pussy.
I think I'm allowed that considering what I've been through
and... I heard you have a problem.
I think I know someone who can help.
- Who? - Robo-Warrior.
[SONG: New Divide BAND: Linkin Park]
This guy, Robo-Warrior...
Everything about anything alien, he's supposed to know.
One time we hacked his site
and maybe, I saw some of your, uh... alien drawings or whatever.
This is it.
Yep, deli. Good front.
Alright, wait here. I'll give you the go/no go, alright?
Number 42, we got your ***combo right here.
Cash only. Who's next?
I told you...in the frying and then smoke it.
Ma, you want me to cut my head off here or what?
- You order a terrible piece of fishing. - I'm like a ninja, with a blade.
Get out of here!
Hey, Sam! Watch your reach, huh?
Take a number, young man.
Robo-Warrior.
Know him?
I never heard of him.
You never heard of TheRealEffingDeal.com?
You must be talking about that amateur blog operation
with GameBoy level security.
Robo-Warrior.
It's him. It's him! That's the guy right there.
That's him.
No.
You gotta be kidding me.
Alright, meat store's closed. Everybody out!
Out, right now!
Wait a minute, you know this guy?
- We're old friends. - Whoa, friend,
you are the case that shut down Sector 7.
Got the time-bash*** disbanded,
no more security clearance, no retirement, no nothing.
All 'cause of you, and your little criminal girlfriend.
Look at her now, so mature.
Moron, where's the white fresh?
Don't touch me with the thing.
- Yakov! - What?
You don't get Christmas bonus just standing around.
You want those new teeth you saw in SkyMall?
- It's my dream. - Help her out.
- You live with your momma? - No, my momma lives with me,
it's a big difference.
They got your face all over the news, alien boy.
Yeah, I know.
And NBE-1 (Megatron), still kicking, huh?
How did that happen?
Don't answer. I don't know what you're hiding,
but I don't want anything to do with it.
So, goodbye, you never saw me. I got bagels to schmeer.
- Vanish! - Well, give me 5 seconds.
Look, hold on, I need your help.
Really, you need my help?
I need--
Look, I am slowly losing my mind, okay?
I had a little Crab-bot who placed a device
deep into the soft tissues of my brain,
and started projecting little alien symbols
like a freaking whole movie
and on top of that, I'm a wanted fugitive.
So you think you got it rough?
You said it projected images of your brain?
Right.
Meat locker, now!
- Dead pigs. - Yuck.
What you're about to see is top secret.
Do not tell my mother.
Dead pigs, swine flu. Not good.
Now you know.
Next time, you eat a goat or a pig,
there's a story behind this.
Yeah, there's a story.
...you're saying you believe in aliens?
Okay, files, files.
We're talking about symbols.
Hey! Still radioactive. Hands off.
Okay, Cube-brain.
Any of these look like the symbols you saw?
Where did you get these?
Before I got fired,
[I scoured S-7's archives]
for 75 years of alien research which points to one inescapable fact:
The Transformers; they've been here a long, long time.
How do I know?
Archaeologists found these unexplained markings
and ancient runes all over the world.
China, Egypt, Greece.
Shot at 1932.
These the symbols you're seeing in your head?
- Yeah. - Same ones over here, right?
So, tell me, how did they end up all drawing the same thing?
Aliens.
And I think some of them stayed.
Check this out.
Project Black Knife.
Robots, in disguise. Hiding here.
All along.
We detected radioactive signatures all across the country.
I pleaded on my knees with S-7 to investigate it
but they said the readings were infinitesimal.
That I was obsessed!
Me, can you imagine that?
Megatron said that there was another Energon source here.
- On Earth? Another source? - On Earth.
Okay, and that these symbols,
the maps in my head would lead him there.
Did you talk to your Autobot friends about that?
No, no, no, the source is before them.
Whatever the Energon source is, it predates them. It's before them.
- So it comes before that. - Correct.
Well then we're [screwed].
Unless we can talk to a Decepticon.
I mean, I'm not on speaking terms to one of them.
Actually, I am.
Let me out!
- It could be a little bit sad. - Open it.
I'm gonna get so many Decepticons on your butt!
Hey! Behave.
- What is it, a Decepticon? - Yeah.
- Can you train him? - Tried to.
I spent my whole adult life to come up with one of the aliens,
- You're very furious-- - And you're carrying it around
...and you carry one around in your purse like a chihuahua.
You want a throw down, you pubic fro-head?
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about your eye.
You know, but if you're a good boy,
then I'm not gonna torch your other eye.
Okay? I'm not gonna torch it.
Just tell me what these symbols are.
Please.
Okay.
Oh, I know that. That's the language of the Primes.
I don't read it, but uh, these guys...
Where the frick did you find photos of these guys?
- Is this them? - Yeah.
Seekers, pal. Oldest of the old.
Oh, they've been here for thousands of years,
looking for something.
I don't know what, nobody tells me nothing.
Oh, they'll translate those symbols for ya.
And I know where to find them.
Show us.
Closest one's in Washington.
Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.
Land of dreams in there.
All I ever wanted to be was an astronaut.
- Hold those. - What is that?
What?
I wear them when I'm in the funk.
So does Jeamby, Cheater. It's a baseball thing.
Okay. Once you synchronize, sharpen mind and empty bladder.
<if you get caught, demand an attorney and don't ever say my name.
Here, take one of these pills.
Slip it under your tongue,
it's a high-concentrate polymer they put in Oreo cookies.
Fools the polygraph everytime.
Okay, now let's get this show on the road.
Whoa, no, listen. I can't do this.
I'm not some alien bounty hunter, alright?
'cause I'm not gonna do this. Guards have guns,
- I don't want to die. - Kid, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid.
You compromise this mission, you are dead to me.
Now look into my eyes, and tighten up that spare tank.
The museum is now closing.
Papa, bad news, bro.
Ran out of toilet paper, you got any out here?
- Please tell me you-- - Sir, I suggest you get in there.
The museum is closed.
Listen man, I understand that, but as you can see, this is important.
Dumper-dumper. I gotta go, alright?
Sir, you are a grown naked man around showing...
- Pull your pants up and exit-- - I'm not going anywhere.
You got that paper, right, sir?
You should be embarassed.
This a family museum, sir.
What is going on here?
How many times can you get tased in the nuts?
before you can't have kids, huh, you know?
You're an amateur, man, a rank amateur.
There's now five guards. Five guards.
- You get your stuff and get out of here. - Give me a second.
I gotta get the tracker, alright.
- Be good. - I'm claustrophobic.
Look, look. Follow him, follow him.
He knows where he's going.
- He knows something. - What?
He knows something!
- You got what I got? - Yeah.
Blackbird.
There he is.
This guy's a legend,
like--like the Chairman of the Board. (Frank Sinatra)
Yo, freshman, point the shard.
And watch the magic happen.
Oh shit, it's a Decepticon!
- Decepticon? - What is it?
*** now!
What sort of hideous mausoleum is this?
****, show yourselves!
Suffer my infinite wrath!
Come here, you little spinal-cord-based organisms.
Bugger!
Behold the eternal glory of Jetfire!
Prepare for remote systems override!
I tell you, this guy did not age well.
- Makes it easier to hurt us.*** - I command these doors to open.
Fire!
Oh, I said, fire!
Bollocks.
Damn these worthless parts!
Wait a second.
Itchy wretched rust in my arse.
Oh, the museum's gonna be very angry.
Very angry. We gotta catch that plane!
I'm on a mission.
- W-wait, wait! - Wait, wait, wait.
- Hey! - What do you want?
Look, we just want to talk!
I've no time to talk, I'm on a mission!
I'm a mercenary doom-bringer.
- What planet am I on? - Earth.
"Earth"? Terrible name for a planet,
might as well call it "dirt".
Planet Dirt.
Tell me, is that robot civil war still going on?
- Who's winning? - The Decepticons.
Well, I changed sides to the Autobots.
What do you mean, "changed sides"?
It's a choice.
It's an intensely personal decision. So much negativity.
Who wants to live a life filled with hate?
You mean you don't have to work for those
miserable, freaking Decepticons?
If the Decepticons had their way, they'd destroy the whole universe.
I'm changing sides, I'm changing sides, true Warrior Goddess!
- Who's your little Autobot? - Oh you cutes.
Name's Wheelie.
Say my name, say my name!
What are you allowing to happen to your foot just now?
At least he's faithful, Sam.
Yeah, well, he's faithful, and he's nude and he's perverted.
Can you just-- Can you stop?
- Hey, what are you doing? - I don't wanna argue it.
What were you saying?
I told you my name was Jetfire!
So stop judging me!
Wow, someone shit in the bed this morning?
I have issues of my own, and it started with my mother!
My ancestors have been here for centuries.
My father, well, was a wheel! The first wheel!
- Do you know what he transformed into? - No.
Nothing! But he did so with honor, dignity and--
My boosters are fried.
I thought we could help each other.
You know things I don't know. I know things you don't know.
- I do. - I don't think he knows anything.
Honestly, I don't know.
These vivid symbols,
they're symbols but they are in my mind.
You see, all this is in my mind.
And Megatron wants what's in my mind.
Him and someone called the Fallen.
The Fallen? I know him. He left me here to rust.
The original Decepticon.
He was terrible to work for. It's always apocalypse, chaos...
These transcriptions, they were a part of my mission,
the Fallen's search. I remember now.
The dagger's tip and the key!
Yo, slow down. Wait. The dagger's tip, the key,
- what are you talking about? - No time to explain.
Hold on, everybody!
Stand still or you'll die!
Well, that wasn't so bad.
I just hope we're still on the right planet.
Hey, that frickin' hurt!
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!
Oh, my God! You beautiful face, this will be a perfect moment.
Except you landed on my testicles.
Please get off!
My balls!
Sam!
- Where are we? Simmons! - Hey! Yeah!
Oh, my God.
What is this? It's Vegas!
- You guys okay? - Yeah!
Hey! I think we're in Vegas!
That really, really hurts.
You're just lucky that I didn't get hurt.
People could've gotten killed, okay?
And if I would have gotten hurt, you would have heard from my lawyer!
Oh, shut up!
I told you I was opening the space bridge.
It's the fastest way to travel to Egypt.
What did you tell us? You didn't tell us anything!
You didn't tell us anything. Why are we in Egypt?
Don't you get snippy with me, fleshling.
- You were duly informed. - Can you just stop for a second?
Can you focus? Can you tell us why we're in Egypt
so we can all have a little bit assemblance and peace of mind?
This planet was visited by our race once before
by our earliest ancestors millennia ago.
They were on an exploratory mission to harvest Energon,
the lifeblood of our race.
Without it, we'll all perish oxidize and rust,
like my wretched self!
Do you have any idea what it's like to slowly fall apart and die?
Let's not get episodic, okay? Old-timer?
Beginning, middle, end. Facts, details, condense, plot, tell it.
Somewhere buried in this desert, our ancestors built a great machine.
It harvests Energon by destroying suns.
- Destroy suns? - You mean, blow them up?
Yes. You see, in the beginning, there were seven Primes,
our original leaders.
And they set out into the universe seeking distant suns to harvest.
The Primes set out with one rule:
Never destroy a planet with life.
Until one of them tried to defy this rule.
And his name, forevermore, was The Fallen.
He despised the human race.
And he wanted to kill you all by turning on that machine.
The only way to activate it is with a legendary key
called the Matrix of Leadership.
A great battle took place over possession of the Matrix.
The Fallen was stronger than his brothers,
so they had no choice but to steal and hide it from him.
In the ultimate sacrifice, they gave their lives to seal the Matrix away
in a tomb made of their very own bodies.
A tomb we cannot find.
Somewhere, buried in this desert,
that deadly machine remains.
The Fallen knows where it is.
And if he finds the Tomb of the Primes, your world will be no more.
Okay, so how do we stop it?
Only a Prime can defeat the Fallen.
Optimus Prime?
So you met a Prime?
You must have met a great descendant.
Is he alive?
Here? On this planet?
He sacrificed himself to save me.
So he's dead.
Without a Prime, it's impossible.
No one else could stop The Fallen.
So the same energy that's gonna be used to reactivate the machine...
Could that energy somehow be used to reactivate Optimus
and bring him back to life?
It was never designed for that purpose,
but it's an energy like no other.
So then how do you get us to the Matrix before the Decepticons get to me?
Follow your mind, your map, your symbols.
What you carved in the sand, it's your clue.
When dawn alights the Dagger's tip,
three kings will reveal the doorway.
Find the doorway!
Go now, go!
That was my mission. It's your mission now.
Go before the Decepticons find me
and find you.
That was my CIA contact.
Says Ancient Sumerian used to call the Gulf of Aqaba
- the Dagger's Tip. - That's the dagger's tip.
- It's part of the Red Sea. - Got it.
It divides Egypt and Jordan like the tip of a blade.
29 and a half degrees north. 35 east.
There it is.
Okay, first thing we gotta do is get Optimus to Dagger's Tip.
How are you gonna get him halfway around the world?
We're gonna make a call.
We got the cops.
I can't go to prison, guys!
Sam, you gotta get off this road now.
Man, stupid cops.
This is what's called blending in like a ninja.
Shut up, or I'm gonna blend my fist in your face!
They're gone.
Wait another time.
I'm gonna make the call to Lennox.
You are in this worldwide.* We try calling one base,
they'll track you here in seconds.
CIA is all over this place.
You're gonna call.
Okay, that's--that's a good idea.
- Alright? - I mean I just was...
Had my mind on other things.
Like why don't you get being chipped in prison.*
New Jersey
This departure: 2100 hours.
So we're shooed back to base.
This is such a mistake.
Major Lennox, phone call.
Lennox, I'm with the kid. The kid, you know?
The one with the attitude, right?
I need the truck. The truck.
We got a possible resurrection going on over here.
You're not gonna believe where we are.
Code Tut, as in King Tutankhamen,
back of a $1 bill.
Coordinates for air-drop, 29.5 north, 34.88 east.
Get it. Write it down, write it down.
Oh, my God.
I gotta go, okay. I hate the cops.
W-Wait, who are you?
Wait, it's me. Leo, me, Leo, Leo. Leo.
The cops are coming right now. We need to go.
Coordinates 29.5 north, 34.88 east.
Tip of the Red Sea, Gulf of Aqaba.
Egypt.
Are you serious?
Sir.
Even if we could figure out a way to get big man over there.
How is this little kid supposed to bring him back to life?
I don't know.
But we gotta trust him.
Okay, let's go over it again.
When the dawn alights the dagger's tip,
- the three kings... - ...will reveal the doorway.
That's what he said. You know what that means?
- No, what does it mean? - I have no idea.
Oh my God, oh my God. Checkpoint, checkpoint.
I don't have my passport.
Passport. Idiota (Idiot)!
They have cams at the top.
He's the one that they want.
Alright, chill. Let's be nice to them.
I can handle it. These are my people.
- Yeah. - I'm *.
Oh great, a frickin' munchkin.
Oh, little people are mean. Tell him he's tall.
- What do you want? - I want to go to...
The Dagger's Tip, right?
Egypt, Jordan. We wanna go there.
Me and my family. This is my family.
- This is my son, my other son. - Hi there.
My daughter.
We're tourists from New York.
- New York? - Yes. Yes.
50 kilometres.
You're going to get one of my falafels there.*
Yeah, thank you very much.
- New York. - I know, I know you from somewhere.
No, we do not work for the CIA.
Decepticons, voice location
detected.
Starscream in pursuit.
Undercover, yo, you gotta blend in with your surrounding.
You know, you gotta be part of the landscape.
Awesome.
I think aliens built that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go, move it! Move it.
- What? - Hey, guard us.
Low-profile, don't make a scene, okay?
Yeah, some of us got work to do!
Dumb Autobots.
Estimated time of detachment NEST, 0600 AM
Being my girlfriend is hazardous to your health.
Yeah, well, girls like dangerous boys.
- Really? - Yeah.
Why don't you say it?
Ladies first.
Okay, so tonight, you're gonna be a gentleman.
You're really chivalrous.
Why are you mad at me?
You know what? Baby, I'm not...
I'm not mad.
You realise that I just flew 3,000 miles to keep you from getting killed.
I know.
Who else could be your girlfriend too?
Look at the things that I'm going through with you.
And now we're underneath the moon and the stars
and the three most beautiful pyramids on the planet
and you still can't even tell me that you love me.
- What? - Wait.
- Why do boys always change the subject? - The moon and the stars...
- Sam... - Come with me really quick.
Simmons, Leo, wake up!
Listen, astronomy class, page 47, you remember the class?
No, no, I was only in college for two days, you remember that?
- Yeah, well, get up. Up, up. - What are you talking about?
Can you see those three stars?
You see how the last one touches the horizon?
That's Orion's belt.
It's also called the Three Kings and the reason for that is
the three Egyptian kings who built the pyramids in Giza built them
to mirror those stars.
So it's like an arrow staring us straight in the face.
They all point due east towards Jordan.
The mountains of Petra.
We got an engine malfunction. We gotta have to divert...*
Flight's gonna lower, prepare for bail-out.
Bail-out, bail-out, bail-out, bail-out?
Alright, team, grab your chutes.
Bail-out?
Familiar with the standard MC-4?
Of course not. I've never jumped out of a perfectly good airplane before.
Wait a minute, is this really happening?
Yeah.
Alright.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You're behind this, aren't you?
What are you talking about?
You heard the pilot. These guys don't mess around.
This is just standard procedure. I'm just following orders to the letter.
Don't you know what you said?
You just signed the death warrant to your career.
Wait, what was that? What's that?
That's not good.
Come on. Right this way, right this way!
I can't jump out of an airplane.
I've got an ulcer.*
Come here. Come here.
Why do I have to go first?
Because I have to secure the VIPs first.
Okay, I want you to listen very carefully
and memorize everything that I say.
Each of us has GPS trackers, so you can be found by search and rescue.
***
- Look, are you listening? - I can't.
- Alright, alright. - Alright.
When the pilot chute inflates into the air,
it pulls the pin and opens the main,
break your backup, lose your primary.
I want you to pull the blue.
I need you to pull it really hard.
Not right now. We're on the plane, you dumbass!
Did he say goodbye?
No, he didn't even say goodbye.
General, we're loaded and ready.
You give us the go, and we'll be ready to press in five minutes.
- Excellent. - Sir,
you need to see this. Now.
Have we checked these coordinates?
Egypt, sir. They're air-dropping in.
You gotta be kidding me.
He knows something.
We need to be ready to back him up, if this thing goes hot.
Copy that.
CIA just got a hit on the boy.
Hundred miles from the location on that little map* there.
It's getting hotter.
It's gotta be... around here somewhere.
What is this? You see this?
Spectacular!
It's here somewhere, guys.
Oh yeah, why?
'Cause we're trusting Grandpa Blackbird
who doesn't even know what planet he's on.
On his defense, this is the biggest doorway
I've ever seen in my entire life.
Okay. Well, that's great. Let me do a quick search, alright?
Nope.
Ever crossed your mind, guys, that archaeologists have been here before?
There's nothing here.
Real life is heartbreak, despair, kid.
Sometimes, you get to the end of the rainbow
and the leprechauns went and booby-trapped it.
I'm not listening to you; you live with your mother.
- It's not over. - It is over. It's done.
Why are we still listening to your little punk-ass?
I mean, what have you ever done for us except ding my rim?
Kill Megatron. How about that?
Well, he didn't get the job done, you know what I mean,
- 'cause he's back, man. - You scared?
Well, scared? Scared of your ugly face.
I'm ugly? Well, we twins, you stupid genius.
Guys! Oh, hey!
You like the way that feels?
- That ain't hurt. - You got that, don't you?
I'm getting up--
Bumblebee!
Now that's rude.
Oh, my God! The symbols.
Bee! Shoot it.
Check this out.
Wow!
There are the bodies ***
The Tomb of the Primes.
The Matrix.
No, no...
Thousands of years turned to dust.
This isn't how it's supposed to end.
Hear that?
US Air Force. C-17s.
You can't bring it back, Sam, there's nothing left.
Look, look around you.
We didn't just go through everything we went through for no reason at all.
and then just have it end like this.
There is a reason that we're here.
The voices and the symbols in my head led us here...
for a purpose.
Everyone's after me because of what I know.
And what I know is that this is gonna work.
How do you know it's gonna work?
Because I believe it.
Best let me out of this plane.
He's dropping the big one. Sam!
You think you can bring him back to life with that pixie dust?
Absolutely. Let's go!
Go!
Move it!
Remember they're friendly!
Cover Optimus!
Secure the goods. Get those cases down here.
Get snipers and Stingers up high.
So he just dropped off ten tons of dead robot
in the middle of nowhere.
Hope this little kid know what he's doing.
Yeah, me too.
Got a visual! Yellow tee*, four klicks.
Hot-flare!
That's them right there. You see the flare?
Right over there! See it?
The boy has been found.
Sam!
Oh God, please God,
- please! - Leo, stop freaking out.
- Just stop freaking out! - Just drop this guy off, huh?
- Please let me live, just let me live. - Stop freaking out!
Just stop screaming right now. That's it.
Can't take that guy anymore.
Hide in the dust! Through the dust.
We gotta split up.
Bumblebee, you are the decoy. You lead the Decepticons away, alright?
I'm gonna get Optimus.
I'll help draw their fire ****.
You get to those soldiers.
I hope that dust works, kid.
Thank you.
It's turning around.
It's coming back, it's coming back.
It's up to me.
One man, alone, betrayed by the country he loves,
now its last hope in the final hour of need.
The pants are to be driven** like never before.
Under my **.
Hey, hey, hey! Don't go nowhere.
- Drive! - You will never make it, kid.
Bravery will only get you so far.
You tased me, okay? You owe me.
- I'm go. - Okay, okay.
That was a test. You passed, alright?
Thing's got alien tattoos all over.
That ain't Air Force.
What the hell was that?
- Eddy-1, copy. - Anyone there?
Who's up?
- Copy. - Radio's down.
It's dead. Comm went down.
EMP burst.
Let's see how this day is going in this godforsaken desert.
Yes, sir.
Major Lennox told me to pull the cord.
I know, sir.
W-Which, what country am I in right now?
United States.
No, no, not the United States. I'm from the United States,
I'm in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by goats.
Well, that was our good friend Galloway.
He's less than pleased.
How is it that we can't reach our men,
but he can reach me from some random Egyptian desert?
Nothing.
Mike, burn an SOS, let the eye in the sky know we need some help.
Yes, sir.
Pop some more flares so that the kid can find us.
There he is. We got a couple of miles.
Lennox's team has the latest in quantum crypto gear.
Can somebody tell me why we can't establish simple radio contact?
We're hailing them on every frequency and mode in the book, sir.
Our satellites in the area have gone blind.
We're working on it, sir.
Dammit.
Something's not right, it doesn't add up.
Contact the Jordanians, see what air assets they've got in the area.
And get Egypt's General Salaam,
ask him to clear some US vehicle overflights in Egyptian airspace.
We need an assist in confirming visuals now.
Scramble predators now.
B-1, rotate.
We're still a mile away.
Come here.
This way.
- One man... alone... - Stop saying that.
- betrayed by the country he loves. - Oh my goodness,
I'm in the car, okay? You're not alone.
Just relax, you're looking nice as well.**
I-I don't think he's still following us.
That's what you think.
Master, sorry to be the bearer of bad news,
but the soldiers brought the body of Prime.
The boy must have the Matrix.
We cannot let him reach Optimus.
Decepticons!
Begin our assault!
We got incoming!
We got a whole lot of fight coming our way!
- How many? - We got 13 of 'em.
This ain't good. This ain't good.
We 'bout to get our asses whooped.
Alright, those Decepticons are searching for Sam.
Whatever he has, he thinks it'll bring Optimus back to life.
So our mission is to find him and get him to Optimus.
Alright, we're gonna draw fire from the left flag.
I need a scout team.
I'm leading.
We'll walk through the middle with Arcee and Ironhide.
Alright, when you see the precious cargo,
I want you to pop green smoke and come back to those pillars.
We'll have the ambush set.
Alright, let's go, move out!
Ooh-Rah!
Did you see that film "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral"?
- Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas. - No, why?
Looks like we're right in the middle of it.
Is that good?
Lot of people died.
- Oh, oh, oh... - Hide!
Oh my God!
Sam, Sam.
***
Alright. Get down, get down.
Once it's clear, we'll run for Optimus
as fast we can, okay?
And what if it doesn't work?
This will work.
- Yeah, but what if it doesn't? - It's gonna work.
It'll work.
We gotta jump.
We got a half mile.
I don't think the soldiers know we're here.
Fall back!
Ironhide, up the middle.
Ironhide, move it.
Go! Go, go!
There's no way to go. We're gonna die!
Listen, if we're going down, we're going down like men, understand?
- Oh. - Look at this motherf--
Mean robots suck!
Get back!
Grab it! Don't let go.
Hang in there, I got you.
I don't wanna die.
Kung-Fu grip, boy. Kung-Fu grip.
Can't get me.
He dead. He got so ate.
Who's your daddy now, huh?
He got all ate up.
Well, the safe place is right under it.
Run it. Run for his feet!
You're never eating me. I'm gonna bust your face up.
Nobody messes with me. In your face!
Keep fightin', Mudflap.
Oh my God!
Yeehaw!
Nobody messes with the twins.
I got you.
Ow, man, you shot me in the face!
- Stay under it! - Yeah, stay under it.
Rampage, close the trap.
Judy!
- Sam! - What?
Sam!
Sam! Sam!
Sam!
- Sam. - Dad!
Wait! Wait!
Please listen--
I want you to run! Run!
- Dad, just stop! - Get out of here.
- They don't want you, they want me. - Just run!
Oh God, wait!
- Samuel Witwicky. - Wait.
This is what you want. You don't want 'em.
- Go! Go! - Please, stop! Stop!
- Why don't you-- - Just get out of here!
Just don't move.
I know you.
Just go! Just go!
And I know that you need me.
Because I know about the Matrix.
- Don't do it. Sam, listen to me. - Please, Dad.
They're gonna kill us all anyway.
Hey, hey. Look.
This is what you want. I'm here.
Bumblebee!
Help!
Kill him, Bee. Kill him.
Come on, get in.
- Bee? - Yeah.
Hey! I don't know what's going on, but we gotta move.
- Run! - There's gotta be a way out of here.
Go back, go back!
Buckle up, buckle up! Get in here.
Bee! Bumblebee!
You get them somewhere safe, alright?
You gotta get in the car. You can be safe.
No, this is not a discussion.
- You're my son, alright? - I know!
You're my son! We'll all go together.
- Listen. - We're all going together.
Dad, stop, okay? Get in the car.
He's gonna get you to safety. You know, you run.
You don't stop, you don't hide, you run. You hear what I'm saying?
Okay? I'll find you when you're safe.
- No. - You gotta let me go, Dad.
You'll have to let me go.
- You have to. - Ron.
Ron, Ron! Let him go.
Just come back!
- Come back! - Come on!
Mikaela, Mikaela!
- Go with my parents. - I'm not gonna go with them.
- We got Jordanians! - We got help!
Down!
You okay, soldier?
We're gonna help you, soldier.
Let's get the wounded and clear the bird!
Stay still, stay still. Don't move.
You alright, young man?
- You have a radio? - Yes.
Hey kid, it's been nice knowing you.
Remember what I did for my country.
This is my moment.
You're crazy!
ETA to station, two minutes.
- Put it on the main screen. - Sir, yes, sir.
Predator's airborne.
Oh shit, it's a trick.
Commence Operation Firestorm. Send everyone.
- Get those boys out on the ground.* - This is 101 in strike packages.*
Fast course river.* Execute lightly.
- Spotted Sam. - Hurry, don't slow up!
Ironhide!
Follow us to the pillars. We'll take you to Optimus.
Look out!
Sam, get to the pillars!
Let's go.
Oh God, this is it. The pyramids built right over the machine.
They turn that machine on...
no more sun.
Not on my watch.
- USS Stennis, identify. - Hey, where the hell are you?
What, you're on a weather channel?
Sports center, "I dream of Jeannie" or something?
We get a pretty hundred satellites up there.
Where the hell are all our men?
Identify yourself.
What is your name, sailor?
Wilder, Captain of the USS John C. Stennis Aircraft Carrier.
Okay, Captain Wilder,
this is Agent Seymour Simmons, head of the Sector Seven.
There is a mother of all non-biologicals
getting ready to blow up our Sun.
You wanna fool around about my lack of clearance,
or you want to help save a gazillion lives?
Alright, Agent Simmons. I'm listening.
Five klicks.
West of the gulf.
We got ourselves a dalion* remodelling a pyramid.
I want hopes of prototype weapon called a rail gun.
***
That's classified.
Don't talk to me about classified, alright?
Now if you've got a battleship in the gulf
equipped with that weapon,
you tell 'em to ready that weapon!
Contact Destroyer, USS Kit.
This way! Move it!
What do you need here?
Let's go! Go!
Give me your talk. Come on.
Epps!
Right now, we need air support.
That ship's in contact. 20 miles--
Grid on contact. Proceed 88, Alpha Sierra.
USS Stennis 0-9-0,
you are approved to drop a 2,000 pound [bomb].
- What you got? - A detonator, sir.
They're 600 meters away and they're heading right for the pillars.
Alright.
Precious cargo's coming.
Move!
Sam!
Spotted Sam.
Come on!
2-2, covering fire. Two civilians, twelve o'clock.
Cover for us.
Call the air strike. We'll rescue the civilians.
Come on. Get up!
Come on!
Get in here.
Oh look who showed up.
You better have a good reason for us to be here.
Where's Optimus?
He's right over there, across the courtyard.
I got to get to him right now.
No, we got an air strike coming.
I have to get to him right now.
Come here, b-back.
Incoming!
Behold to the only Jetfire!
Now let me show you how we brought them pain in my day.
I'm too old for this crap.
Keep going.
15 minutes of fighting.
I am directly below the enemy's scrotum.
25.7 metres above sea level,
29.32 north.
- Field track, 5-2, 0500 o'clock. - Target acquired.
Killing track two.
Lock. Fire.
Yeah! Yeah!
B-1, stand on my target. 30 seconds, 2000 pounds inbound/i>
We're gonna make a break for the beast on my command, okay?
You guys stick with me, you understand?
You stay on my ass.
Watch out for orange smoke.
Hope these F-16s got good aim.
Yeah, why is that?
I told them to hit the orange smoke.
You mean our orange smoke?
It wasn't my best toss, okay?
Viper, Thunder.
- Run! - Run!
Incoming!
Come on.
Die!
Sam!
Hold your fire!
Sam!
Get out! Get me an EVAC.
Can't you do something?
- Sam! Sam... - Sam!
Come on, we got to move. We got to move! Come on!
Administer CPR.
That's our son! I wanna see my son.
Sammy!
Clear! Take a shot. Clear! Take a shot.
One, two, three.
Do it again.
Sam!
Okay, listen to my voice. I love you and I need you.
Please, please come back to me. Sam, please! I love you!
Am I dead?
We have been watching you. A long, long time.
You have fought for Optimus,
our last descendant, with courage and with sacrifice.
The virtues of a leader.
A leader worthy of our secret.
The Matrix of Leadership is not found.
It is earned.
Return now to Optimus,
merge the Matrix with his Spark.
It is, and always has been, your destiny.
Sam.
I love you.
Boy, you returned for me.
A living Prime!
I don't believe it.
My Matrix.
Get up, get up, get up, get up.
Get up, Prime!
- Oh, no. - He's turned on the machine.
You gotta stop him. Get up!
Optimus!
Fallen, my master.
My brothers could not stop me from this.
- Yes. - Now I claim your sun.
Enemy target, top of pyramid.
Engage, engage, engage.
In moments, we'll be at firing strength.
In all my Decepticon life,
I never did a thing worth doing, until now.
Optimus, take my parts.
And you'll have a power you've never known.
Fulfill your destiny.
Jolt, electrify! Transplant those afterburners.
Let's roll.
Fire. Take off to the pyramid!
This planet will be dark forever.
Die like your brothers.
They were your brothers too.
Starscream!
You picked the wrong planet!
Give me your face.
I rise. You fall.
No. No.
Not to call you a coward, Master, but sometimes
cowards do survive.
This isn't over.
It took all of this for you to tell me that you love me.
You said it first.
Thank you, Sam, for saving my life.
You're welcome.
Thank you for believing in me.
Our races united by a history long forgotten
and a future we shall face together.
I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message
so that our past will always be remembered.
For in those memories, we live on.
We're so glad you could join us, Professor Einstein.
Yeah, I was kind of busy.
Okay.
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