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I saw you eyeing her. 359 00:35:14,478 --> 00:35:16,912 Thought you all were going to a movie. 360 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:19,174 I had a lot of homework. 361 00:35:21,018 --> 00:35:26,046 - How come you aren't playing poker? - The game got cancelled. 362 00:35:28,593 --> 00:35:33,053 - They coming home soon? - Not too long. 363 00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:39,233 Well, there's plenty of food if you want. 364 00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:41,902 Thanks. 365 00:36:22,179 --> 00:36:24,340 This isn't right. 366 00:37:14,966 --> 00:37:16,866 Is everyone gone? 367 00:37:20,604 --> 00:37:24,563 - It is my business! This is my house! - It is not! 368 00:37:24,742 --> 00:37:28,337 - Get out of my room! - You abide by the laws I put down! 369 00:37:28,512 --> 00:37:33,609 I am not gonna get out! I waited up for you. I want to know who you were with! 370 00:37:33,784 --> 00:37:36,878 Don't give me your shit. You stayed up to drink. 371 00:37:37,054 --> 00:37:40,820 - I stayed up to catch you, you whore! - You should know. 372 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:46,530 Try it again, I'll take you out, bitch. 373 00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:52,698 Carolee! You walk out that door, don't you bother coming back. 374 00:37:52,870 --> 00:37:58,274 Why the hell would I want to? I've been down this road with you before, Mom. 375 00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:02,802 Sorry, Davey. I can't go through this again. 376 00:38:04,849 --> 00:38:06,578 Carolee. 377 00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:22,197 You used to like it before you started doing that bitch. Admit it, bastard! 378 00:38:22,566 --> 00:38:24,591 - You're screwing her! - You need to call your sponsor. 379 00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:27,704 - Screw my sponsor! - Go back to bed. 380 00:38:27,872 --> 00:38:31,364 I should've gotten rid of her. Know what I'm gonna do? 381 00:38:31,842 --> 00:38:34,208 I'm gonna go in there and cash her check. 382 00:38:34,378 --> 00:38:39,213 Hey, Starr. Starr. Hey! Starr! Give me that gun. 383 00:38:40,217 --> 00:38:43,015 - What the hell is wrong with you? - Get off! 384 00:38:45,589 --> 00:38:48,319 Starr! Starr! 385 00:38:50,394 --> 00:38:53,488 Get off of me, goddamn it! Get off of me! 386 00:38:53,664 --> 00:38:58,397 No, Ray! Goddamn it, Ray. Get off of me! 387 00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:20,749 No, don't cry. We're not like that. We're the Vikings, remember? 388 00:39:20,958 --> 00:39:25,827 Astrid? Can you talk to me? Astrid? 389 00:39:25,996 --> 00:39:31,525 Astrid? Can you talk to me? Astrid. Talk to me. Can you talk to me? 390 00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:36,503 She's coming around. This boy saved your life. If he hadn't called 911... 391 00:39:36,674 --> 00:39:39,768 ...you'd be dead. - Who did this to you, Astrid? 392 00:39:39,944 --> 00:39:42,606 - Who shot you? - I don't know. 393 00:39:43,581 --> 00:39:45,549 Hey, watch your feet. 394 00:39:45,716 --> 00:39:47,445 - Okay, rug. - Got it. 395 00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:55,389 - Where's Ray, Davey? - He's gone. They're both gone. 396 00:39:57,061 --> 00:40:01,293 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I ruined it. 397 00:40:01,465 --> 00:40:04,559 Doesn't matter. Something would have. 398 00:40:04,869 --> 00:40:06,928 Bye, Astrid. 399 00:40:07,104 --> 00:40:08,162 Okay. One step. 400 00:40:08,339 --> 00:40:10,807 - Davey. - We got you, Astrid. 401 00:40:11,709 --> 00:40:13,643 Okay, step. 402 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,478 We got her. 403 00:40:23,554 --> 00:40:26,853 It's okay. We got you. 404 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:07,327 We'd prefer to find a permanent place, but we have so many children right now. 405 00:41:07,498 --> 00:41:11,093 You need special attention, which you'll get at McKinney Hall. 406 00:41:11,268 --> 00:41:13,964 They have all sorts of activities for kids. 407 00:41:22,580 --> 00:41:26,311 You're dead, bitch! You hear me? You're dead. 408 00:41:27,251 --> 00:41:31,381 Don't ever look at my boyfriend again. You hear me? 409 00:41:31,555 --> 00:41:33,819 You look at my boyfriend, you're dead! 410 00:42:48,098 --> 00:42:53,661 Next time you and your friends jump me, I'll cut your throats when you're sleeping. 411 00:43:10,187 --> 00:43:15,215 - What do you want? - I was looking at your picture. 412 00:43:16,794 --> 00:43:18,159 It's good. 413 00:43:20,397 --> 00:43:21,830 Who is it? 414 00:43:28,339 --> 00:43:32,435 - How come you chopped off your hair? - None of your business. 415 00:43:36,213 --> 00:43:39,512 - You're still beautiful. - Looks don't interest me. 416 00:43:40,551 --> 00:43:44,078 That's easy for you to say. You've never been ugly. 417 00:44:09,980 --> 00:44:15,543 Look. It's the puta. She's so ugly now. 418 00:44:53,657 --> 00:44:55,557 You're not ugly. 419 00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:08,367 You write as if you're surprised to find me still beautiful even here. 420 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:11,804 Our beauty is our power, our strength. 421 00:45:11,975 --> 00:45:15,843 We can't allow them to change us, to lessen us. 422 00:45:16,013 --> 00:45:22,316 I will never grant them that satisfaction and neither should you. 423 00:45:30,994 --> 00:45:34,452 So is this your first time in Mac? 424 00:45:35,933 --> 00:45:39,334 Figured. You're so unfriendly. 425 00:45:40,070 --> 00:45:44,871 - Life's easier without friends. - Maybe. I like it here. 426 00:45:45,042 --> 00:45:50,708 It's better than being in a foster home. It's the floor you can't fall below. 427 00:45:56,887 --> 00:45:59,879 - What's that? - A letter. 428 00:46:00,057 --> 00:46:03,788 - From who? - My mother. 429 00:46:04,828 --> 00:46:08,423 - And where is she? - In prison. For murder. 430 00:46:09,633 --> 00:46:12,864 - And your father? - Don't know the guy. 431 00:46:16,006 --> 00:46:17,871 How about you? 432 00:46:18,308 --> 00:46:19,900 They were junkies. 433 00:46:20,077 --> 00:46:23,604 She OD'd when I was 6. He disappeared a couple years later. 434 00:46:23,780 --> 00:46:27,341 - I was born addicted to heroin. - Really? What was that like? 435 00:46:27,518 --> 00:46:31,352 I don't know. I was out of rehab by the time I was six months old. 436 00:46:34,725 --> 00:46:36,249 So... 437 00:46:38,662 --> 00:46:41,631 - What's the deal? Are you gay? - What? 438 00:46:41,798 --> 00:46:47,896 I don't know. I get this feeling from you, like you're not interested in guys. 439 00:46:49,873 --> 00:46:51,966 You're right. I'm not. 440 00:46:52,242 --> 00:46:56,941 You think that's funny? I'm sick of this. I'm not gonna let you do this again. 441 00:46:57,114 --> 00:47:00,174 Why don't you shut up? You're not even in this. 442 00:47:00,350 --> 00:47:02,682 - Cut it out. - She does this shit. 443 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,651 I'll beat your ass. Wait until we get off the van. 444 00:47:06,823 --> 00:47:09,348 - Back off. - I'm gonna push you farther. 445 00:47:13,630 --> 00:47:17,259 - What if they catch us? - They'd put us in McKinney Hall. 446 00:47:17,434 --> 00:47:19,561 - Hurry. - Come on. 447 00:47:20,304 --> 00:47:22,033 Come on, come on. 448 00:47:24,408 --> 00:47:26,467 The guy's a genius. 449 00:47:27,010 --> 00:47:31,276 I started out copying his stuff, but no... 450 00:47:31,448 --> 00:47:33,609 I could never touch him. 451 00:47:35,319 --> 00:47:39,688 He's great. But you're better. 452 00:47:42,593 --> 00:47:44,424 You're insane. 453 00:47:48,198 --> 00:47:53,329 No, I'm not. I mean, he's a great cartoonist, but you're an artist. 454 00:47:54,271 --> 00:47:56,762 What's the difference? 455 00:47:56,940 --> 00:48:01,536 Well, that's like asking why a joke is funny. 456 00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:06,376 Either it's funny or it's not. You're either an artist or you're not. 457 00:48:06,550 --> 00:48:08,177 You are. 458 00:48:32,342 --> 00:48:37,075 It's hard because they keep moving. That's good. 459 00:48:38,248 --> 00:48:40,182 Don't look. I'm not done. 460 00:49:47,184 --> 00:49:50,779 - There's another one. Do you see it? - Yeah. 461 00:49:58,729 --> 00:50:02,460 The Lyrids shower is visible most of the night. 462 00:50:02,632 --> 00:50:05,226 The brightest star is Vega. 463 00:50:05,635 --> 00:50:09,765 But you can't look right at it or you'll miss the fainter meteors. 464 00:50:09,940 --> 00:50:12,374 You can trace them back to Lyra. 465 00:50:14,778 --> 00:50:17,110 How do you know all that? 466 00:50:20,350 --> 00:50:22,614 A kid I used to know. 467 00:50:34,297 --> 00:50:37,858 I used to have a foster home right over there. 468 00:50:43,607 --> 00:50:45,939 It's nice living on the beach. 469 00:50:52,949 --> 00:50:55,645 Do you ever think about your father? 470 00:50:58,688 --> 00:51:01,282 Not really. He was an asshole. 471 00:51:05,829 --> 00:51:08,593 I think about mine sometimes. 472 00:51:10,433 --> 00:51:12,799 That when I'm an artist... 473 00:51:12,969 --> 00:51:17,406 ...he'll read about me in the papers and he'll want to meet me. 474 00:51:25,949 --> 00:51:27,883 I'm not gay. 475 00:51:30,787 --> 00:51:32,220 I know that. 476 00:51:58,415 --> 00:52:01,282 I'll show you the one that he did of me. 477 00:52:08,592 --> 00:52:11,789 It's right here. 478 00:52:12,329 --> 00:52:15,196 They're not bad, for what they are. 479 00:52:16,366 --> 00:52:19,961 For what they are? What are they? 480 00:52:20,670 --> 00:52:22,797 Cartoons. 481 00:52:23,340 --> 00:52:24,830 No, they're not. 482 00:52:25,008 --> 00:52:29,274 They're so much more than that. I mean, he's really talented. 483 00:52:29,579 --> 00:52:32,343 - Don't do it again, Astrid. - Do what? 484 00:52:32,949 --> 00:52:37,443 Attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention... 485 00:52:37,621 --> 00:52:39,521 ...because you're lonely. 486 00:52:40,690 --> 00:52:46,287 Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. 487 00:52:46,463 --> 00:52:50,991 The best you can do is know yourself. Know what you want. 488 00:52:51,167 --> 00:52:54,227 And don't let the cattle get in the way. 489 00:52:54,638 --> 00:52:58,904 You're not talking about me. You're talking about yourself. 490 00:52:59,309 --> 00:53:03,507 Sometimes I get the feeling you don't even want me to be happy. 491 00:53:04,814 --> 00:53:07,374 Why wouldn't I want you to be happy? 492 00:53:17,327 --> 00:53:21,286 - Where are they sending you? - I don't know. 493 00:53:24,901 --> 00:53:26,425 Look. 494 00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:33,342 The comic book store will hold letters for me. 495 00:53:33,510 --> 00:53:36,968 Wherever they take you, keep checking there. 496 00:54:38,808 --> 00:54:42,107 Why do we have to go to Mexico to buy this stuff? 497 00:54:42,278 --> 00:54:44,712 It isn't FDA approved. 498 00:54:46,683 --> 00:54:50,585 - What's it called? - DMSO. 499 00:54:51,821 --> 00:54:57,384 - What's it for? - All sorts of things. 500 00:55:01,865 --> 00:55:07,997 You'll like these people. She's an actress and he does something with television. 501 00:55:09,039 --> 00:55:14,102 - Do they have any kids? - No. They're looking to adopt. 502 00:56:05,895 --> 00:56:08,489 She's had an incredibly hard time. 503 00:56:08,665 --> 00:56:12,897 She's very smart. She's just missed a lot of school. 504 00:56:13,736 --> 00:56:17,399 - You don't have to decide immediately. - Okay. 505 00:56:17,574 --> 00:56:20,042 Just talk to her. 506 00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:23,668 If you're uncomfortable in any way, just let me know. 507 00:56:38,093 --> 00:56:40,084 There you are. 508 00:56:41,930 --> 00:56:48,130 I'm really sorry Mark couldn't be here to meet you. He's filming in Nova Scotia. 509 00:56:48,970 --> 00:56:52,371 Well, this is it. I left it plain on purpose... 510 00:56:52,541 --> 00:56:57,376 ...because I thought that way, you know, you could put your own things up. 511 00:56:58,780 --> 00:57:02,773 - I like the Drer watercolor. - You know who Drer is? 512 00:57:03,285 --> 00:57:07,244 - My mother's an artist. - Oh, that's right. Of course. 513 00:57:07,422 --> 00:57:13,224 Of course. They said that. Hey, listen. Do you want some tea or something? 514 00:57:13,395 --> 00:57:18,992 Or Pepsi. I bought Pepsi. I didn't know what you'd drink. We have juice. 515 00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:23,467 I could make you a smoothie, if you like. Would you like a smoothie? 516 00:57:23,638 --> 00:57:25,003 Tea is fine. 517 00:57:29,811 --> 00:57:34,805 Okay. I look, I look. Stop. Look... 518 00:57:37,619 --> 00:57:39,348 And now I die. 519 00:57:44,926 --> 00:57:48,828 - You were really good. - Do you know what a nightmare it is? 520 00:57:48,997 --> 00:57:53,434 I mean, you spend all this time getting ready, ages getting ready... 521 00:57:53,602 --> 00:57:57,538 ...drag yourself to this audition. They look at you for two seconds... 522 00:57:57,739 --> 00:58:03,439 ...and tell you that you're too ethnic, or too classic, too something. 523 00:58:03,645 --> 00:58:05,545 Too ethnic? 524 00:58:06,181 --> 00:58:11,050 It means brunette. And too classic means old. 525 00:58:11,219 --> 00:58:15,747 And too small, breasts. 526 00:58:17,392 --> 00:58:22,056 - Why do you do it, then? - What? Give up show business? 527 00:58:38,780 --> 00:58:40,077 Come on! 528 00:58:50,725 --> 00:58:55,822 - Well, here. To your first run at the beach. - Never again. 529 00:58:56,531 --> 00:59:00,262 - How's your shoulder? You okay? - Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. 530 00:59:00,435 --> 00:59:04,371 No, you did really well. You did really, really well. 531 00:59:18,687 --> 00:59:20,382 What was... 532 00:59:20,655 --> 00:59:24,352 ...the best day of your life? 533 00:59:29,931 --> 00:59:31,523 Today. 534 00:59:34,102 --> 00:59:38,766 - What should we do later? - I don't know. What do you want to do? 535 00:59:39,441 --> 00:59:40,874 Swim? 536 00:59:41,309 --> 00:59:42,867 Okay. 537 00:59:44,779 --> 00:59:46,610 Oh, my God! 538 00:59:47,248 --> 00:59:49,580 He's back early. 539 00:59:55,090 --> 00:59:56,489 Mark. 540 00:59:57,192 --> 00:59:58,250 Hey. 541 01:00:00,495 --> 01:00:02,190 Hi. 542 01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:14,372 You must be Astrid. 543 01:00:15,410 --> 01:00:17,970 It took us three hours to get him back. 544 01:00:18,146 --> 01:00:22,640 The whole film crew's in there. He still almost chickens out. 545 01:00:22,817 --> 01:00:27,015 I think he thought it was gonna come back and finish him off. 546 01:00:27,188 --> 01:00:30,157 - What would you have done if it had? - Ducked. 547 01:00:30,325 --> 01:00:32,020 Come on. 548 01:00:33,561 --> 01:00:36,189 Okay, here we go. 549 01:00:36,364 --> 01:00:40,095 Perfect. Just, just right there. Thanks. 550 01:00:48,143 --> 01:00:50,134 - Well, cheers. - Cheers. 551 01:00:50,311 --> 01:00:52,336 Cheers, Astrid. 552 01:00:53,481 --> 01:00:56,644 So we've got some catching up to do. 553 01:00:56,818 --> 01:00:59,378 Claire tells me you're quite an artist. 554 01:00:59,954 --> 01:01:02,548 - Not really... - She's wonderful. 555 01:01:02,724 --> 01:01:07,218 In fact, Tricia Day accepted Astrid for one of her watercolor classes. 556 01:01:07,395 --> 01:01:10,193 - At the museum? - She loves Astrid's work. 557 01:01:10,365 --> 01:01:13,061 You should show him. 558 01:01:19,641 --> 01:01:22,007 They're really, really beautiful. 559 01:01:22,177 --> 01:01:25,044 She's never even studied. She's self-taught. 560 01:01:25,213 --> 01:01:27,113 Is that right? 561 01:01:34,489 --> 01:01:35,649 Is she all right? 562 01:01:41,996 --> 01:01:44,726 - I know you're perfect. - I'm not perfect. 563 01:01:44,899 --> 01:01:47,265 Of course you are. You're my daughter. 564 01:01:47,435 --> 01:01:48,993 Hey. 565 01:01:50,004 --> 01:01:53,770 - Are you okay? - Yeah. Just thinking. 566 01:01:58,313 --> 01:02:01,976 - Are you getting my letters? - Yes. 567 01:02:02,150 --> 01:02:05,278 - I can never be sure. - I get them. 568 01:02:09,090 --> 01:02:12,116 Why doesn't she have any children? 569 01:02:12,293 --> 01:02:14,761 She can't have them. 570 01:02:15,797 --> 01:02:17,355 You dress like her now. 571 01:02:21,135 --> 01:02:23,603 She takes me shopping. 572 01:02:26,274 --> 01:02:28,674 What's her husband like? 573 01:02:30,645 --> 01:02:32,579 He's nice. 574 01:02:32,747 --> 01:02:35,215 He's gone a lot. 575 01:02:36,851 --> 01:02:40,218 So you spend most of your time with Claire? 576 01:02:41,823 --> 01:02:43,313 Yeah. 577 01:02:44,592 --> 01:02:46,150 I'd like to meet her. 578 01:02:47,095 --> 01:02:48,392 Why? 579 01:02:49,564 --> 01:02:52,158 Because you don't want me to. 580 01:02:57,739 --> 01:03:00,333 Who did this belong to? 581 01:03:00,842 --> 01:03:05,211 That was my great aunt's on my father's side. 582 01:03:05,380 --> 01:03:09,510 She was a field nurse at Ypres. Very, very brave woman. 583 01:03:10,018 --> 01:03:12,486 It's pretty, isn't it? 584 01:03:15,990 --> 01:03:19,255 - And whose was this? - It was my mother's. 585 01:03:19,427 --> 01:03:24,922 My father gave it to her. My parents were completely inseparable. 586 01:03:25,366 --> 01:03:27,596 Not at all like Mark and I. 587 01:03:30,171 --> 01:03:33,629 I hate it when he has to go away for so long. 588 01:03:35,543 --> 01:03:39,479 - Why don't you go with him? - He says it slows him down. 589 01:03:44,586 --> 01:03:49,489 - I think it's because he's having an affair. - He wouldn't have an affair. 590 01:03:49,657 --> 01:03:51,955 He loves you. 591 01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:57,325 Yeah, I know. If he did, I would never know about it. 592 01:03:57,498 --> 01:03:59,489 You're just being paranoid. 593 01:03:59,667 --> 01:04:05,367 Yeah, that's what he says. That can be very negative. 594 01:04:18,820 --> 01:04:21,914 - Should I put this here? - Yeah, perfect. 595 01:04:22,090 --> 01:04:24,456 Everything ready inside? 596 01:04:30,999 --> 01:04:34,833 - You're leaving tomorrow? - In the morning. 597 01:04:36,170 --> 01:04:39,469 I bet Claire would love to go with you. 598 01:04:40,108 --> 01:04:44,135 Coordinating our schedules is difficult. 599 01:04:44,312 --> 01:04:47,770 She's not working. I mean, she could fit into yours. 600 01:04:47,949 --> 01:04:52,386 What about you? Doesn't she need to be here for you? 601 01:04:53,187 --> 01:04:54,449 Yeah. 602 01:04:56,257 --> 01:05:01,354 How is she these days, when I'm gone? She okay? 603 01:05:01,529 --> 01:05:03,121 She's fine. 604 01:05:03,297 --> 01:05:05,788 - Why do you ask? - No reason. 605 01:05:27,422 --> 01:05:29,890 You're back early. 606 01:05:31,993 --> 01:05:35,053 How long has my mother been writing you? 607 01:05:35,229 --> 01:05:40,292 Not long. We've only written to each other a couple of times. 608 01:05:40,468 --> 01:05:43,733 - Why didn't you tell me? - She asked me not to. 609 01:05:45,106 --> 01:05:48,701 Well, she thought that you wouldn't like it. 610 01:05:51,879 --> 01:05:56,407 Her letter was so powerful. 611 01:05:56,584 --> 01:05:58,552 She's so strong. 612 01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:02,952 And God, she's talented. 613 01:06:05,893 --> 01:06:07,485 We'd like to meet. 614 01:06:10,431 --> 01:06:12,592 Whose idea was that? 615 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,262 Mine. 616 01:06:16,003 --> 01:06:18,198 I bet. 617 01:06:20,441 --> 01:06:23,968 - You know, I really love your work. - What have you seen? 618 01:06:24,312 --> 01:06:26,644 Astrid showed me the collages... 619 01:06:26,814 --> 01:06:30,045 ...and some of your earlier work in the catalogues. 620 01:06:30,218 --> 01:06:33,312 Oh, I love the Polaroid installation. 621 01:06:33,488 --> 01:06:35,353 Really? Why? 622 01:06:37,992 --> 01:06:39,323 I don't know. 623 01:06:40,261 --> 01:06:42,161 Well, because... 624 01:06:42,330 --> 01:06:44,628 Well, because it's great. 625 01:06:46,501 --> 01:06:52,337 - I'm actually very visual myself. - A kindred spirit. 626 01:06:54,008 --> 01:06:57,307 It must be difficult for you to work here. 627 01:06:58,479 --> 01:07:02,540 It is. I spend so much time fighting off sexual advances... 628 01:07:02,717 --> 01:07:04,844 ...I hardly have time to think. 629 01:07:07,688 --> 01:07:09,315 That was a joke. 630 01:07:13,127 --> 01:07:17,791 - Jailbird humor is hard to get sometimes. - Sorry. 631 01:07:18,533 --> 01:07:21,195 So, you're an actress. 632 01:07:21,569 --> 01:07:26,404 - So glamorous. - No, my career is a disaster. 633 01:07:26,974 --> 01:07:31,377 I think it's the process. It, you know, may be too painful for me. 634 01:07:31,546 --> 01:07:34,140 You're such a sensitive person, it's... 635 01:07:34,315 --> 01:07:38,149 All that rejection has gotta be hard on your self-esteem. 636 01:07:38,319 --> 01:07:43,450 I'm a typical Pisces, but that's why Astrid and I get on so well. 637 01:07:43,758 --> 01:07:47,250 Scorpio and Pisces understand each other. 638 01:07:47,428 --> 01:07:49,362 You're into astrology? 639 01:07:49,530 --> 01:07:54,331 She's not into astrology just because she knows our signs. 640 01:07:55,803 --> 01:07:59,569 Astrid and I used to understand each other. 641 01:07:59,907 --> 01:08:02,671 But she's become so secretive. 642 01:08:02,844 --> 01:08:08,544 Astrid isn't secretive at all. We talk about everything, all the time. 643 01:08:10,117 --> 01:08:12,483 We just love her. 644 01:08:12,653 --> 01:08:15,019 She's doing so well. 645 01:08:15,189 --> 01:08:17,054 She's on the honor roll... 646 01:08:17,225 --> 01:08:21,889 ...and we're just working to keep that old grade point average up. 647 01:08:22,063 --> 01:08:25,260 Put a pyramid over her desk. It improves memory. 648 01:08:25,433 --> 01:08:29,665 - My memory's fine. - A pyramid? I hadn't thought of that. 649 01:08:29,837 --> 01:08:32,635 I do practice feng shui, though. 650 01:08:33,074 --> 01:08:35,736 You never mentioned that in your letters. 651 01:08:35,910 --> 01:08:40,040 How about your husband? Is he into feng shui as well? 652 01:08:41,182 --> 01:08:44,208 No, he's into frequent flier miles. 653 01:08:44,385 --> 01:08:47,320 He's gone half the time. 654 01:08:47,655 --> 01:08:52,183 That's not so bad, you know? And now that I have Astrid... 655 01:08:54,095 --> 01:08:56,928 She must be a great comfort to you... 656 01:08:57,098 --> 01:09:00,625 ...not being able to have children of your own. 657 01:09:02,036 --> 01:09:05,301 Yeah. Yeah. She is. 658 01:09:10,578 --> 01:09:15,606 Would you mind letting us talk alone, sweetie? 659 01:09:16,050 --> 01:09:18,541 Grown-up things. 660 01:09:19,420 --> 01:09:23,618 - Don't we have to go? - No, it's okay. 661 01:09:24,058 --> 01:09:25,525 We have time. 662 01:09:44,779 --> 01:09:47,213 Love humiliates you. 663 01:09:47,381 --> 01:09:49,747 Hatred cradles you. 664 01:09:50,551 --> 01:09:52,314 It's soothing. 665 01:09:54,422 --> 01:09:56,322 What did you say to her? 666 01:09:57,224 --> 01:10:00,489 She's having trouble with her husband. 667 01:10:00,695 --> 01:10:04,961 It's not you, is it? I know you have an attraction for older men. 668 01:10:05,132 --> 01:10:07,726 No, it's not me. 669 01:10:07,902 --> 01:10:10,530 - You leave her alone. - But it's such fun. 670 01:10:11,105 --> 01:10:12,834 Easy, but fun. 671 01:10:13,007 --> 01:10:16,443 In my present situation I have to get fun where I can. 672 01:10:18,079 --> 01:10:21,173 God, how can you stand to live with poor Claire? 673 01:10:21,349 --> 01:10:25,479 Did you know there's an entire order called the Poor Clares? 674 01:10:25,653 --> 01:10:28,383 She is a genuinely nice person. 675 01:10:31,225 --> 01:10:34,058 You don't know what it's been like. 676 01:10:34,228 --> 01:10:37,356 - If you love me, you'll help me. - Help you? 677 01:10:41,202 --> 01:10:46,970 I would rather see you in the worst kind of foster hell than living with that woman. 678 01:10:47,541 --> 01:10:50,101 What can you possibly learn from her? 679 01:10:50,544 --> 01:10:52,478 How to pine artistically? 680 01:10:53,814 --> 01:10:57,580 Twenty-seven names for tears? 681 01:10:59,954 --> 01:11:02,855 All I can say is... 682 01:11:04,492 --> 01:11:07,461 ...keep your bags packed. 683 01:11:09,030 --> 01:11:12,522 I don't feel like it. I'm a stranger in my own house. 684 01:11:12,700 --> 01:11:15,726 You live here and I stay here once in a while. 685 01:11:15,903 --> 01:11:18,633 - Maybe if you gave a little bit. - I give. 686 01:11:18,806 --> 01:11:22,242 Why can't I give to her, why can't I be here? 687 01:11:22,410 --> 01:11:26,642 - Because I work! Because I have a job. - That's not fair. 688 01:11:26,881 --> 01:11:30,146 I give you everything you ask for and it's not enough. 689 01:11:30,317 --> 01:11:33,809 No, not everything. Not everything. 690 01:11:33,988 --> 01:11:36,650 You promised things would change. 691 01:11:36,824 --> 01:11:41,784 - Mark, I'm trying, you know I'm trying. - Trying's not good enough. 692 01:11:41,962 --> 01:11:45,193 You're falling apart. We are back to where we started. 693 01:11:45,366 --> 01:11:50,463 It is not working out and I think we should send her back. 694 01:11:50,738 --> 01:11:52,899 You can't just send her back. 695 01:11:53,074 --> 01:11:56,043 - Where's she gonna go? - They'll find someplace. 696 01:11:56,210 --> 01:12:00,442 You're gonna send her away? You take everything away, don't you? 697 01:12:00,614 --> 01:12:05,415 - You just leave me with nothing. - Jesus Christ, you are such a bad actress. 698 01:12:05,586 --> 01:12:08,316 I really almost forgot. 699 01:12:09,423 --> 01:12:12,358 Okay, okay. 700 01:12:12,726 --> 01:12:16,321 All right, I'll send her back, okay? We can try that. 701 01:12:16,497 --> 01:12:19,660 Just don't go, okay? Just don't leave me. 702 01:12:20,234 --> 01:12:23,795 Unlike you, Claire, I work. Remember? 703 01:12:24,238 --> 01:12:27,901 And she going with you, your girlfriend? 704 01:12:28,809 --> 01:12:31,334 I've had it with this, Claire. 705 01:12:32,146 --> 01:12:34,239 I've really had it. 706 01:12:38,752 --> 01:12:40,686 Astrid? 707 01:13:00,407 --> 01:13:01,533 Astrid. 708 01:13:06,881 --> 01:13:09,543 Astrid, please. 709 01:13:44,952 --> 01:13:46,647 Claire? 710 01:13:48,789 --> 01:13:51,087 Are you awake? 711 01:14:04,905 --> 01:14:06,497 I'm sorry. 712 01:14:08,108 --> 01:14:09,575 Are you all right? 713 01:14:11,645 --> 01:14:13,203 Yeah. 714 01:14:15,015 --> 01:14:20,112 Take my advice. Stay away from broken people. 715 01:14:22,256 --> 01:14:23,917 You can't send me back. 716 01:14:25,226 --> 01:14:27,421 He's not coming back, Astrid. 717 01:14:29,730 --> 01:14:32,597 He's gonna divorce me. 718 01:14:32,766 --> 01:14:37,135 You know, Claire, it wouldn't be the worst thing. 719 01:14:44,311 --> 01:14:46,905 I'm cold. 720 01:14:48,549 --> 01:14:50,813 Real cold. 721 01:14:52,553 --> 01:14:54,953 Here. Get in here with me. 722 01:14:55,122 --> 01:14:57,420 Come on. 723 01:15:04,765 --> 01:15:06,096 Okay. 724 01:15:07,401 --> 01:15:10,336 Stay with me, okay? 725 01:15:14,508 --> 01:15:17,773 Stay with me, please. 726 01:15:31,692 --> 01:15:33,159 Claire. 727 01:15:36,897 --> 01:15:38,592 Claire. 728 01:15:59,653 --> 01:16:01,951 Claire, wake up! Claire! 729 01:16:04,858 --> 01:16:06,450 God! 730 01:16:13,934 --> 01:16:16,562 Claire, please. 731 01:16:19,573 --> 01:16:21,905 No! 732 01:16:43,497 --> 01:16:45,089 Astrid. 733 01:17:10,491 --> 01:17:12,152 What is it? 734 01:17:12,359 --> 01:17:13,849 I'm back in Mac. 735 01:17:14,027 --> 01:17:16,587 - Didn't they tell you? - No. 736 01:17:17,131 --> 01:17:19,031 Claire's dead. 737 01:17:19,199 --> 01:17:21,793 She killed herself. 738 01:17:22,236 --> 01:17:24,864 - I'm sorry. - No, you're not. 739 01:17:26,740 --> 01:17:31,871 - You poisoned her too, but with words. - I told her what she already knew. 740 01:17:32,212 --> 01:17:34,271 You were just jealous. 741 01:17:34,448 --> 01:17:38,976 Of course I was jealous. I live in a cell with a woman... 742 01:17:39,153 --> 01:17:43,522 ...who has a vocabulary of 25 words. 743 01:17:44,091 --> 01:17:46,116 Why do you think they got you? 744 01:17:46,527 --> 01:17:50,122 To create a perfect family? People get babies for that. 745 01:17:50,297 --> 01:17:52,788 Not teenagers recovering from bullet wounds. 746 01:17:52,966 --> 01:17:56,697 You were on suicide watch. Don't think it's the first time she tried it. 747 01:17:57,104 --> 01:18:00,073 It's just the first time she pulled it off. 748 01:18:01,442 --> 01:18:04,343 I'm not coming back. 749 01:18:04,511 --> 01:18:07,173 I wanted to tell you that in person. 750 01:18:07,347 --> 01:18:09,577 I'm gonna leave you here, alone. 751 01:18:13,854 --> 01:18:15,913 I know you think I'm cruel. 752 01:18:16,089 --> 01:18:18,819 I'm trying to protect you from those people. 753 01:18:18,992 --> 01:18:23,486 Those people are not the enemy, Mother. We are. You and me. 754 01:18:24,131 --> 01:18:27,157 They don't hurt us. We hurt them. 755 01:18:44,251 --> 01:18:46,845 You still ignoring me? 756 01:18:52,292 --> 01:18:56,023 I turn 18 Saturday. I'm going to New York. 757 01:18:56,396 --> 01:18:58,830 I want you to come with me. 758 01:18:58,999 --> 01:19:00,864 I can't. 759 01:19:01,034 --> 01:19:05,095 Sure you can. Just leave. 760 01:19:18,352 --> 01:19:20,752 Is it your mother? 761 01:19:28,996 --> 01:19:30,657 Come on. 762 01:19:30,831 --> 01:19:35,234 I'll get a job. We'll find a place to live. We'll be like we always talked about. 763 01:19:35,402 --> 01:19:40,840 I don't wanna go to New York. I don't wanna be with you. 764 01:20:13,607 --> 01:20:17,543 She was with us for three years. Her parents took her back. 765 01:20:18,045 --> 01:20:20,570 We think you'd really like it with us. 766 01:20:20,747 --> 01:20:24,183 There are lots of kids your age in our neighborhood. 767 01:20:28,855 --> 01:20:30,652 Excuse me. 768 01:20:34,728 --> 01:20:39,893 Look. Don't worry about it. She's had a very hard time recently. 769 01:20:40,067 --> 01:20:43,662 Let me just go talk to her, okay? You're doing fine. 770 01:20:48,809 --> 01:20:51,039 So, what's wrong this time? 771 01:20:51,211 --> 01:20:53,805 I'm too old for them. 772 01:20:58,418 --> 01:21:00,716 Look, the Greenways are great. 773 01:21:01,655 --> 01:21:05,887 They've got a nice house with an extra bedroom for you. 774 01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:08,794 They go to church. 775 01:21:08,962 --> 01:21:10,520 Schools are good. 776 01:21:10,697 --> 01:21:15,191 They don't smoke. He makes his own beer. 777 01:21:17,104 --> 01:21:18,435 I want her. 778 01:21:29,516 --> 01:21:32,952 Workers of the world, arise. 779 01:21:35,122 --> 01:21:41,550 You've got nothing to lose but Visa card, Happy Meal, and Kotex with wings. 780 01:21:44,398 --> 01:21:46,298 Christ, Thursday. 781 01:21:54,875 --> 01:21:59,608 - Hey, lazy cows, you want smoke? - I quit for the baby, Rena. 782 01:21:59,780 --> 01:22:03,079 Why? You don't keep it, thank God. 783 01:22:04,818 --> 01:22:07,616 Hey, you, cheerleader. You want smoke? 784 01:22:07,788 --> 01:22:10,621 Russian cigarettes. No cancer. 785 01:22:31,311 --> 01:22:32,573 Clothes. 786 01:22:35,248 --> 01:22:39,776 - That really is a nice color. - It's gorgeous. 787 01:22:42,456 --> 01:22:46,256 - What's it made of? - I don't know. 788 01:22:46,426 --> 01:22:49,657 Why don't you just try it on and see how you look? 789 01:22:50,063 --> 01:22:53,032 - It's really nice. - Okay, thank you. 790 01:22:53,567 --> 01:22:57,526 Hey, that's my dress. These are all mine. 791 01:22:57,704 --> 01:23:02,835 So? You get good price for them. What do you need expensive clothes for? 792 01:23:03,009 --> 01:23:06,877 - Melrose Place call you to be a star? - Someone gave them to me. 793 01:23:07,047 --> 01:23:10,505 Even better. All profit. That's why I love this country. 794 01:23:10,951 --> 01:23:13,647 Because it loves money like I love money. 795 01:23:13,820 --> 01:23:17,813 - Hey. You make a price, I take 25%. - No. 796 01:23:19,259 --> 01:23:22,717 What, you think you're gonna sell it all by yourself? 797 01:23:22,896 --> 01:23:29,301 I pay for stall, storage, gas. They pay you, you pay me. You still make profit. 798 01:23:30,070 --> 01:23:31,594 Hey. 799 01:23:32,239 --> 01:23:36,573 Dead person who give you thing don't care. The past is gone. 800 01:23:36,743 --> 01:23:40,736 Sentimental is stupid. It's smart to make money. 801 01:23:42,048 --> 01:23:45,540 There's no price. How about $20? 802 01:23:45,719 --> 01:23:48,916 It's a Marc Jacobs dress. It's been worn once. 803 01:23:49,890 --> 01:23:52,552 - Fifty? - A hundred. 804 01:23:56,663 --> 01:24:00,099 Thank you. Let's go. 805 01:24:02,803 --> 01:24:04,794 - How was last night? - It was fun. 806 01:24:04,971 --> 01:24:06,461 - Yeah? - What'd you do? 807 01:24:06,640 --> 01:24:09,973 - Watched TV. - Who were you with last night? 808 01:24:10,143 --> 01:24:11,804 - You know who I saw? - Who? 809 01:24:11,978 --> 01:24:13,946 I saw Danny. 810 01:24:14,114 --> 01:24:17,140 - Don't you think Astrid would like him? - No. 811 01:24:17,317 --> 01:24:19,114 Astrid? 812 01:24:21,321 --> 01:24:24,722 - I'm Hannah. This is Julie. - Hi. 813 01:24:24,891 --> 01:24:28,691 We went to your house. The lady said you'd be here, so... 814 01:24:28,862 --> 01:24:30,887 We visit your mother. 815 01:24:31,064 --> 01:24:34,431 She's our project in Women's Studies. 816 01:24:35,635 --> 01:24:38,627 - What does she want? - She didn't send us. 817 01:24:38,805 --> 01:24:40,238 We came on our own. 818 01:24:40,407 --> 01:24:44,639 She asked us to mail you the interview, her show at Bergamot. 819 01:24:45,178 --> 01:24:48,238 We thought we could deliver it and see if maybe... 820 01:24:48,415 --> 01:24:51,441 - Is that it? - Yeah. 821 01:24:54,487 --> 01:24:56,352 Excuse me. 822 01:24:58,758 --> 01:25:02,922 - What do you talk about? - All kinds of things. Art, music... 823 01:25:03,563 --> 01:25:05,531 She talks about you. 824 01:25:05,699 --> 01:25:07,098 Really? 825 01:25:08,902 --> 01:25:10,631 What does she say? 826 01:25:11,338 --> 01:25:13,431 Well, that you're in a... 827 01:25:13,607 --> 01:25:16,576 You know, fostered. 828 01:25:17,911 --> 01:25:21,403 Look, she feels really terrible about what's happened. 829 01:25:21,581 --> 01:25:24,982 So you thought you'd come out and what? Adopt me? 830 01:25:27,888 --> 01:25:30,982 You don't think she killed him, do you? 831 01:25:32,192 --> 01:25:34,422 Something you should know. 832 01:25:34,594 --> 01:25:37,324 She did. I was there. 833 01:25:40,533 --> 01:25:44,025 Oleander's poisonous. I don't know why people grow it. 834 01:25:44,404 --> 01:25:47,635 - Open the door! - How dare you? You have no right! 835 01:25:47,807 --> 01:25:51,834 They can't keep me. Don't worry, I'll be back in an hour! 836 01:26:38,325 --> 01:26:40,384 Who is that? 837 01:26:41,995 --> 01:26:43,656 I don't know. 838 01:26:43,830 --> 01:26:47,459 - You draw her all the time. - I think her name was Annie. 839 01:26:47,634 --> 01:26:51,968 She's someone I remember. I don't know who she was. 840 01:26:55,442 --> 01:26:57,967 Check it out, you guys. 841 01:26:58,144 --> 01:27:00,669 Rodeo Drive refugee. 842 01:27:00,947 --> 01:27:03,313 Excuse me, are you Rena Gruschenko? 843 01:27:03,483 --> 01:27:06,941 Gruschenka. If you come from INS, I have a green card. 844 01:27:07,120 --> 01:27:10,647 I have been all over this junkyard looking for you. 845 01:27:12,959 --> 01:27:17,419 You must be Astrid. I'm Susan Valeris, your mother's lawyer. 846 01:27:21,101 --> 01:27:22,625 Cigarette? 847 01:27:25,872 --> 01:27:28,432 - Don't know why I never quit. - I do. 848 01:27:28,742 --> 01:27:32,075 All the prisoners smoke. You can offer them one. 849 01:27:32,245 --> 01:27:35,271 Your mother's proud of you for not quitting school. 850 01:27:35,448 --> 01:27:39,885 You graduate soon. Are you making any plans for your future? 851 01:27:40,053 --> 01:27:43,750 Yeah. I thought I'd be a criminal lawyer. 852 01:27:44,224 --> 01:27:45,248 Really? 853 01:27:45,425 --> 01:27:49,589 Either that or a hooker or garbage collector. 854 01:27:50,463 --> 01:27:52,988 Your mother said you'd be difficult. 855 01:27:53,166 --> 01:27:57,728 - Mother knows best. - You've been through a terrible ordeal. 856 01:27:57,904 --> 01:28:02,671 Three foster homes, the shooting, the suicide of a foster mother. 857 01:28:02,842 --> 01:28:04,833 I understand you were close. 858 01:28:05,011 --> 01:28:08,708 Did you ask your client about her involvement with that? 859 01:28:08,882 --> 01:28:12,943 You can't blame her for the death of a woman she met once. 860 01:28:13,119 --> 01:28:15,553 But I do blame her, Susan. 861 01:28:15,722 --> 01:28:18,555 That's pretty cynical, Astrid. 862 01:28:18,992 --> 01:28:22,359 You want me to lie for her in court, is that it? 863 01:28:23,363 --> 01:28:26,196 Why do you hate her, Astrid? 864 01:28:27,534 --> 01:28:30,059 Because you think she committed murder? 865 01:28:30,236 --> 01:28:32,227 Or because you feel abandoned? 866 01:28:32,872 --> 01:28:35,340 Talk to her. People do change. 867 01:28:37,277 --> 01:28:42,442 You should hear the way she talks about you. She worries about you. 868 01:28:43,183 --> 01:28:45,947 She asked me to find out if there's anything you need. 869 01:28:46,119 --> 01:28:48,917 Money for college? Car? 870 01:28:49,589 --> 01:28:53,116 There's money behind her. Just tell me what you want. 871 01:29:26,092 --> 01:29:28,390 You are stupid girl. 872 01:29:29,829 --> 01:29:33,765 You walk away from money to punish mother. 873 01:29:34,234 --> 01:29:35,531 You want car? 874 01:29:37,070 --> 01:29:39,937 You want art college? All costs money. 875 01:29:42,709 --> 01:29:47,043 You don't know anything about this, Rena, so just stay out of it. 876 01:29:51,484 --> 01:29:55,921 - I have plan for you, anyway. - Yeah? What's that? 877 01:29:56,089 --> 01:29:58,421 Niki leave soon. 878 01:29:59,225 --> 01:30:01,659 And Yvonne is stupid girl. 879 01:30:01,828 --> 01:30:03,955 Making third baby. 880 01:30:04,130 --> 01:30:08,464 Every time she look at the window to see baby's face, baby gone. 881 01:30:08,635 --> 01:30:12,196 Then she cries like it's a big surprise. 882 01:30:13,039 --> 01:30:16,566 But you, you're a special girl. 883 01:30:19,746 --> 01:30:22,977 You stay, I make you partner. 884 01:30:24,450 --> 01:30:26,680 Stay here? 885 01:30:27,620 --> 01:30:30,453 What, you got better place to go? 886 01:30:36,496 --> 01:30:38,259 Then go see mother. 887 01:30:38,431 --> 01:30:41,730 She need something from you, you need something from her. 888 01:30:41,901 --> 01:30:43,630 Go get it. 889 01:30:49,042 --> 01:30:51,010 Here she comes. 890 01:30:59,686 --> 01:31:01,517 Astrid, my God! 891 01:31:01,688 --> 01:31:05,454 What's wrong, Mom? You don't like my outfit? 892 01:31:07,060 --> 01:31:10,029 I'll leave you two alone for a while. 893 01:31:22,809 --> 01:31:28,145 So, what's the story? We didn't go to Mexico to buy DMSO? 894 01:31:28,314 --> 01:31:30,475 Barry beat you? He raped me? 895 01:31:30,650 --> 01:31:34,552 How bad does he have to be to get you out of jail? 896 01:31:34,721 --> 01:31:39,522 I can't believe what's happened to you. When I get out, I'll make it up. 897 01:31:39,692 --> 01:31:42,456 Who said you're getting out? 898 01:31:42,629 --> 01:31:46,827 I said I'd talk to you. I didn't say I'd do it. 899 01:31:47,533 --> 01:31:49,592 Then what do you want? 900 01:31:49,769 --> 01:31:53,705 I have a deal to make. A trade. 901 01:31:55,174 --> 01:31:59,304 You tell me the truth, I'll lie for you in court. 902 01:32:01,648 --> 01:32:05,379 - The truth about what? - Everything you kept from me. 903 01:32:05,551 --> 01:32:09,749 - And if I don't? - Then you can rot in here. 904 01:32:10,590 --> 01:32:13,218 I hate this look, by the way. 905 01:32:13,393 --> 01:32:18,922 You're a Sunset Boulevard motel, a $20 hooker in the back of a car. 906 01:32:23,169 --> 01:32:25,660 Why did you murder Barry? 907 01:32:27,573 --> 01:32:30,599 If I submit to this, you'll testify? 908 01:32:30,777 --> 01:32:32,574 Yes. 909 01:32:35,481 --> 01:32:38,609 Self-defense. He was killing me. 910 01:32:40,353 --> 01:32:43,914 Claire did nothing to you. Why'd you go after her? 911 01:32:44,090 --> 01:32:48,356 Claire went after herself. I just showed her how to do it. 912 01:32:51,064 --> 01:32:52,793 Who was my father? 913 01:32:54,901 --> 01:32:58,302 Why do you always ask that? It's ancient history. 914 01:32:58,471 --> 01:33:01,304 It's my ancient history. Who was he? 915 01:33:02,475 --> 01:33:04,943 His name was Klaus Anders. 916 01:33:05,111 --> 01:33:08,046 - What'd he do? - He was an artist. 917 01:33:10,717 --> 01:33:12,582 How did you meet? 918 01:33:12,752 --> 01:33:16,711 At Venice Beach, at a party. He had the drugs. 919 01:33:18,558 --> 01:33:20,719 Did you love him? 920 01:33:21,361 --> 01:33:24,626 It was a long time ago. I'm not the same person. 921 01:33:24,797 --> 01:33:29,291 Liar. You're exactly the same. Answer the question. 922 01:33:29,469 --> 01:33:32,961 You're such a child, taking my propaganda for truth. 923 01:33:33,139 --> 01:33:36,006 So set me straight. Did you love him? 924 01:33:39,045 --> 01:33:43,379 We had a very sexual relationship. One overlooks many things. 925 01:33:43,549 --> 01:33:46,518 You worshipped him. I read it in your journal. 926 01:33:46,686 --> 01:33:51,453 "Worship" isn't exactly the word we're looking for here. 927 01:33:52,091 --> 01:33:54,150 Who is Annie? 928 01:33:55,595 --> 01:33:56,619 What? 929 01:33:56,796 --> 01:33:59,424 Who is Annie, Mother? 930 01:34:04,537 --> 01:34:08,598 She was a neighbor who took in kids, did people's laundry. 931 01:34:08,908 --> 01:34:15,211 - What did she look like? - Dark, curly hair, freckles. 932 01:34:16,616 --> 01:34:19,210 Did she take care of me? 933 01:34:25,691 --> 01:34:28,990 How can you possibly have remembered this? 934 01:34:35,935 --> 01:34:38,665 It will only hurt you. 935 01:34:43,609 --> 01:34:46,840 Imagine my life for a moment. 936 01:34:47,013 --> 01:34:53,077 How unprepared I was to be the mother of a small child. 937 01:34:53,519 --> 01:34:59,219 I was used to having time to think and you just wanted, wanted, wanted. 938 01:35:00,660 --> 01:35:03,288 I felt like a hostage. 939 01:35:03,463 --> 01:35:06,694 Can you understand how desperate I was? 940 01:35:20,546 --> 01:35:24,175 I dropped you off at her house one afternoon... 941 01:35:24,350 --> 01:35:28,013 ...to go to the beach with some friends. 942 01:35:28,955 --> 01:35:31,924 And one thing led to another. 943 01:35:33,559 --> 01:35:36,323 They had a place in Ensenada. 944 01:35:37,263 --> 01:35:39,458 It was wonderful. 945 01:35:39,966 --> 01:35:41,661 You can't imagine. 946 01:35:41,834 --> 01:35:44,200 To take a nap in the afternoon... 947 01:35:44,370 --> 01:35:48,773 ...to make love all day if I wanted and not have to think: 948 01:35:48,941 --> 01:35:52,707 What's Astrid doing? Where's Astrid? Mommy, Mommy... 949 01:35:52,879 --> 01:35:55,177 ...clinging to me like a spider. 950 01:35:55,348 --> 01:36:00,081 At the end, I just wanted to throw you against a wall. 951 01:36:05,625 --> 01:36:07,991 How long were you gone? 952 01:36:10,663 --> 01:36:12,893 About a year. 953 01:36:13,699 --> 01:36:16,327 Give or take a few months. 954 01:36:17,537 --> 01:36:21,132 - My God. - You're not asking the right question. 955 01:36:21,307 --> 01:36:25,971 Don't ask me why I left. Ask me why I came back. 956 01:36:26,145 --> 01:36:28,136 You should've been sterilized. 957 01:36:28,314 --> 01:36:31,306 I could've left you there but I didn't. 958 01:36:31,484 --> 01:36:35,614 Don't you understand? For once, I did the right thing. 959 01:36:36,856 --> 01:36:39,518 When I came back, you knew me. 960 01:36:39,692 --> 01:36:44,994 You were sitting by the door. You looked up and you reached for me. 961 01:36:45,164 --> 01:36:48,395 It was as if you'd been waiting for me all along. 962 01:36:48,568 --> 01:36:52,561 I was always waiting for you. That's the constant in my life. 963 01:36:52,738 --> 01:36:55,206 Waiting for you. Will you come back? 964 01:36:55,374 --> 01:37:00,539 Will you forget that you tied me up in front of a store or left me on a bus? 965 01:37:00,713 --> 01:37:03,477 - Are you still waiting? - No. 966 01:37:04,150 --> 01:37:08,883 I stopped when Claire showed me what it felt like to be loved. 967 01:37:09,589 --> 01:37:12,820 What did you think? That I would amuse you? 968 01:37:12,992 --> 01:37:15,392 That's what babies are like, Mother. 969 01:37:15,561 --> 01:37:18,553 Did you think we'd talk about Joseph Brodsky? 970 01:37:18,731 --> 01:37:22,292 I thought Klaus and I would live happily ever after. 971 01:37:22,468 --> 01:37:25,801 Adam and Eve in a vine-covered shack. I was crazy. 972 01:37:25,972 --> 01:37:28,964 - You were in love with him. - I was, all right? 973 01:37:29,141 --> 01:37:32,474 I was in love with him, baby makes three and all that crap. 974 01:37:32,645 --> 01:37:34,977 Then why did you leave him? 975 01:37:35,147 --> 01:37:39,982 - Why did you leave him? - I didn't leave him. He left me. 976 01:37:42,722 --> 01:37:45,282 You wanna know about your father? 977 01:37:45,458 --> 01:37:48,894 He left us when you were six months old for another woman. 978 01:37:49,061 --> 01:37:53,862 I never saw him again until he came looking for you when you were 8. 979 01:37:54,033 --> 01:37:56,297 - He came to see me? - Yes, he did. 980 01:37:56,469 --> 01:38:01,930 But it was too late. Why should I let him see you after what he did to me? 981 01:38:02,108 --> 01:38:06,704 It wasn't about you! It was about me and I wanted to see him! 982 01:38:06,879 --> 01:38:12,112 My whole life I've wanted to see him. That decision was mine, not yours! 983 01:38:12,284 --> 01:38:16,414 Everything's always been about you, never about me. 984 01:38:17,823 --> 01:38:22,226 I knew you were gonna kill Barry, but you didn't even care. 985 01:38:22,395 --> 01:38:26,195 You didn't give a damn about what that would do to me. 986 01:38:27,199 --> 01:38:30,191 I'll say whatever Susan wants, but I gotta go. 987 01:38:30,369 --> 01:38:35,204 You don't just walk away from me. I made you. I'm in your blood. 988 01:38:35,374 --> 01:38:39,140 You don't go anywhere until I let you go. 989 01:38:39,311 --> 01:38:41,711 Then let me go. 990 01:38:46,318 --> 01:38:51,312 You look at me and you don't like what you see. 991 01:38:52,158 --> 01:38:57,323 But this is the price, Mother. The price of belonging to you. 992 01:38:57,830 --> 01:39:00,822 If I could, I'd take it all back. 993 01:39:02,368 --> 01:39:04,302 I would. 994 01:39:06,272 --> 01:39:09,935 Then tell me you don't want me to testify. 995 01:39:10,810 --> 01:39:14,302 Tell me you don't want me like this. 996 01:39:18,818 --> 01:39:22,254 Tell me you would sacrifice the rest of your life... 997 01:39:22,421 --> 01:39:25,481 ...to have me back the way I was. 998 01:39:37,303 --> 01:39:40,329 Listen, forget it. A deal's a deal. 999 01:39:42,441 --> 01:39:44,534 Let's just leave it at that. 1000 01:40:06,365 --> 01:40:09,823 Excuse me. It's probably a waste of time... 1001 01:40:10,002 --> 01:40:15,133 ...but I'm looking for someone who used to come here. His name's Paul Trout. 1002 01:40:15,307 --> 01:40:17,673 - You Astrid? - Yeah. 1003 01:40:26,986 --> 01:40:29,250 He said you'd turn up. 1004 01:40:33,559 --> 01:40:35,527 Thanks. 1005 01:42:05,117 --> 01:42:08,086 - What's going on? - I don't know. 1006 01:42:13,959 --> 01:42:18,328 - Excuse me. Is it a recess? - No. Jury's out. 1007 01:42:33,445 --> 01:42:36,380 Don't you need me to testify? 1008 01:42:37,449 --> 01:42:40,384 Your mother told me to leave you alone. 1009 01:43:30,903 --> 01:43:32,768 What happened? 1010 01:43:35,941 --> 01:43:38,409 She let me go. 1011 01:43:56,095 --> 01:43:58,928 Two years after Paul and I moved to New York... 1012 01:43:59,098 --> 01:44:01,862 ... I received a letter from my mother. 1013 01:44:02,034 --> 01:44:08,405 In it was the Los Angeles Times Magazine, my mother on the cover. 1014 01:44:08,574 --> 01:44:12,340 A Santa Monica gallery had mounted a showing of her work. 1015 01:44:12,511 --> 01:44:14,672 The Times included seven pages... 1016 01:44:14,847 --> 01:44:18,681 ... of her hauntingly distant prison collages. 1017 01:44:20,019 --> 01:44:26,390 She stares out from the cover, the bars of her cell behind her. 1018 01:44:26,892 --> 01:44:28,655 Beautiful. 1019 01:44:28,827 --> 01:44:30,920 Dangerous. 1020 01:44:31,163 --> 01:44:33,097 Proud. 1021 01:44:34,266 --> 01:44:39,761 The Times said she was close to winning a retrial after a first failed appeal. 1022 01:44:39,938 --> 01:44:43,203 They called her show a triumph. 1023 01:44:46,678 --> 01:44:52,139 It's too much to imagine her tempering her joy with a moment of grief... 1024 01:44:52,317 --> 01:44:55,912 ... a moment for what that triumph had cost. 1025 01:44:56,755 --> 01:45:01,124 These suitcases are a map of that country... 1026 01:45:01,293 --> 01:45:05,161 ... a terrible country I will never revisit. 1027 01:45:09,401 --> 01:45:11,369 Even so... 1028 01:45:12,571 --> 01:45:15,734 ... I find myself thinking of her... 1029 01:45:16,408 --> 01:45:19,844 ... wanting to feel that wind. 1030 01:45:21,346 --> 01:45:23,906 It's a secret wanting... 1031 01:45:24,183 --> 01:45:27,084 ...like a song I can't stop humming... 1032 01:45:27,252 --> 01:45:30,710 ... or loving someone you can never have. 1033 01:45:34,893 --> 01:45:38,659 No matter how much she's damaged me... 1034 01:45:39,731 --> 01:45:42,791 ... no matter how flawed she is... 1035 01:45:43,669 --> 01:45:47,002 ... I know my mother loves me. 1036 01:49:22,487 --> 01:49:23,476 [ENGLISH] 1037 01:49:24,305 --> 01:49:30,335 Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com