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Okay, Miss Mike, you're in.
Watch your ass.
Definitely Taliban presence here.
Not a lot, but they're here. Over.
If you see Bin Laden, You can give him a big New York kiss.
Then chop his nuts off. He can wear them as earrings.
Roger that.
Some old guy is making eyes at me.
God damn!
I can't see anything out of this.
You should bring that outfit back to the States,
you can wear it again for Halloween.
Next time, you're wearing the dress.
Craig, I've got a problem with the old guy.
Take it easy.
He's not taking his eyes off me, This guy knows.
I think he knows. - Hang in there, Mike.
Control, we have an unexpected visitor. Request positive I.D. Over.
Go.
Visitor is a friendly VIP.
Repeat, visitor is a CIA contractor.
Abort mission. Over.
This is not good. Craig, do you read?
I'm in deep shit, man.
The old man's ratting me out.
Did you get that?
Captain McKenzie, do you understand me?
You are to abort this mission.
If you're in trouble and you can't speak, just cough.
What the hell are you doing here, soldier?
Where's the rest of your unit?
Listen, these ragheads would love to slit your throat.
Now, I need to know how many of you there are
and what you're doing here, so I can try to save your necks.
You just don't get it, do you?
Let me spell it out to you.
I work for CIA.
I cannot allow one lost soldier
to compromise my entire operation.
Okay, your choice.
You know what I think, soldier?
I think you are dressed like a woman,
because secretly you don't want to be a man.
Captain McKenzie, your orders are to stand down. You are not to...
Now, when I'm done cutting you,
these boys will finish making a woman of you.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
Craig!
You all right?
Oh, man!
My wife is gonna be relieved.
But control is gonna cut your balls off, man.
That guy was CIA.
It seems to me, you party with the devil, God ain't ever gonna help you.
Come on, let's go.
I'm all in.
Come on, let's see what you've got.
How about you give me a loan
and hold on to my bike as collateral?
When are you going to learn, soldier?
You're out of luck, not cash.
I've never seen anyone unluckier than you.
So, how did you get out of the army alive, anyway?
You know what they say, "Lucky in war,
unlucky in life."
So how about the loan?
There you go, soldier. A nation's grateful thanks.
Until the end of the month.
Deal.
All right, hands on the table. Nobody move!
Cool it, kid. What's the problem?
The problem?
Two aces of spades? - It's just a silly mistake.
You stacked the deck, Tony?
I let you win every once in a while.
Didn't you hear what my friend said?
Put your hands on the table.
Trust me, this is not the way you want to resolve this.
Shut up, all right? You think you can cheat us like your loser buddy over here?
We're taking the money.
Look, kid, just take the money and get the hell out of here.
Lucida, give them your purse.
All right, put the money in the bag.
Jeez!
All right, you're next, cowboy.
Your turn. Put the money in the bag.
Put the money in the bag!
All of it.
You can put the gun down now. It's only loaded with blanks.
Really? Let's check!
You really want me to pull this trigger?
Let her go, McKenzie.
Hey! What the hell is going on?
What the hell is going on?
They hired stunt guys.
They want to do business with you.
Just wanted to see if you still had it in you, soldier.
Captain McKenzie, we need a man like you.
Well, I don't need you All I want is my loan.
Thanks for the show.
Crazy.
We ' Il do it your way, Sister.
Trust me, little brother.
Cheers.
So, what do you think they wanted?
There's only one thing I'm good at.
You know, Craig. I'm so broke, man.
I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make some money.
Anything. Anything.
The banks, fucking banks, they already took everything, you know?
There's no work here, man. There's nothing for a man
the dishonor of the Army has been released.
We both fought for our country, Mike, we got nothing for it.
Well, maybe now we need to start fighting for some money.
Some of the guys from the old unit are pulling in loads of cash
as mercs in Mexico.
And then...
Hey, baby. What are you doing up?
It's not me who can't sleep, Daddy.
It's Winston.
Come on, darling. Let's get Winston back to bed.
Look at that, look at what your nuts made.
I saved those nuts. - Good night, Daddy. Good night, Craig.
Good night, guys. - Good night.
You love Joanna and Elize?
Of course.
Then forget about fighting.
We'll find some other way to make some money.
I've got about two more weeks before the banks change the locks on my doors.
Soldiers of Fortune.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
If you've received this link,
then your net worth pre-qualifies you
for the Soldiers of Fortune Adventure Program,
the ultimate in extreme vacationing.
On your adventure mission you'll experience the adrenalin rush of combat
in an actual war zone,
but without the risk of losing your life.
After all, you've worked too hard for your millions
not to enjoy them until a ripe old age.
Whether you're sniping enemy mercenaries,
clandestinely delivering a cache of weapons,
or blowing up a compound,
you'll be protected every step of the way
by our qualified action teams.
Every member on our staff is a highly decorated
special operations veteran.
You prove your manhood,
they ensure your complete safety.
All the proceeds support the freedom fighters of a small island nation.
And, unlike other charities,
you'll be able to personally oversee how your contribution is delivered.
While your peers boast about that luxury cruise in the Caymans,
you fought for liberty and freedom in a war zone.
We offer the ultimate in bragging rights.
And the best part is, it's all tax deductable.
Would you knock it off? I'm trying to sleep.
Good morning.
Have you had breakfast yet?
You know, I'm warning you, you're wasting your time.
Sit down, Craig.
How's business. Slow?
Thriving.
NOW!
Whoa! Nice!
So how's your brother's beak?
Who told you Ernesto is my brother?
Thank you.
How did you find me, the Yellow Pages?
I know almost everything about you.
Captain Craig James McKenzie.
Twenty-three special ops and not one soldier dead under your command.
You were a legend.
And then you were court-martialed for insubordination
and unbecoming conduct. - That's old news.
And dishonorably discharged. - No, no, no.
There's nothing dishonorable about saving your best friend's testicles.
Your unit was disbanded in disgrace.
I can just imagine how many people told you thanks for that.
Just one guy, and his wife. That's plenty for me.
Look, thank you for the breakfast, but,
I got some things I gotta do.
You lost everything because of this man.
Carter Mason.
All right, look, no more games. Who the hell do you work for?
We're not playing games. We need your help.
And you need the money. Your friend, Captain Reed, needs it.
I am through with fighting.
That's good. Because we don't need you to kill anybody.
We need you to make sure nobody gets killed.
You want me to protect him?
No, we need you to protect some people from him.
And this man is Colonel Lupo.
Nice casting.
In Eastern Europe, by the northern seaboard of the Black Sea,
is Ostriv Zmiinyi, also known as Snake Island.
Its mountains are rich in minerals and rare Earth metals.
During the Cold War, there was an Allied military base there.
Now nobody knows who owns it, Romania or Ukraine.
So it's no man's land.
Colonel Lupo seized power there four years ago with a mercenary force.
His head of security is Mason.
Colonel Lupo's regime is brutal and oppressive.
They kill anyone who dares to speak up against Lupo.
There is a resistance,
but we don't have the weapons to fight.
Our freedom fighters have been unable
to resist Colonel Lupo's mercenaries.
All, criminals on the run. The scum of the Earth.
They make life a living hell for the people of Ostriv Zmiinyi.
So, who's the girl?
That's Magda,
she's Colonel Lupo's daughter,
and the only person he cares for.
She's pure evil.
As long as Lupo finds buyers for the island's metals
he can finance his mercenaries and brutalize the people.
All right, so those are the bad guys.
Who are the good guys? You?
I was born on the island. I want to set it free.
The resistance is dying, but now there is hope.
Ernesto and I
have found five very rich men who are willing to help.
You know something, lady? I've never met a rich guy
who's willing to give away something for nothing.
What do your backers want for their money?
Kicks and thrills.
With our Soldiers of Fortune Adventure Program,
we've set up a basic training camp for our clients in Romania.
With their charitable contributions,
we've purchased the firepower to finally resist Colonel Lupo.
Ernesto leased a ship to transport the weapons.
We know that Lupo's mercenaries
do not patrol the uninhabited east side of the island.
Our financiers' adventure mission will be
to escort the weapons to shore
and get them to the resistance base camp
protected by bodyguards at all times.
Wait a second, let me get this straight.
You and Ernesto are pimping out your revolution
as some kind of tourist attraction for a bunch of millionaires,
and you expect me to be your guide?
Yes. We need your credentials
to assure our clients of their safety.
One last op, Craig.
You're lucky in war, you said so yourself.
With you, everybody comes home.
Our clients will never be near actual combat, Craig.
And you can save your friend's home.
And everybody will be happy.
Our wealthy warriors have arrived.
Tell me what we're dealing with.
The first of our soldiers of fortune
is Charles Herbert Vanderbeer.
Vanderbeer is a genuine American aristocrat.
One of his ancestors bought Manhattan from a drunk Indian
for twenty-four silver dollars and a bottle of moonshine.
Vanderbeer runs a Wall Street hedge fund.
He made a fortune from sub prime loans,
and then another from the bank bailout.
It's a shame a lot of ordinary folks lost their homes,
but that's Wall Street for you.
The rich get richer and the poor can go to hell.
I'm gonna enjoy watching him under fire.
Our second millionaire is Roman St. John. A metals magnate.
St. John traded vodka and bluejeans on the black market
before the Berlin Wall fell.
And then, in the anarchy that followed somehow
all his business rivals got murdered but he survived.
Now he owns a huge mining and smelting empire
and lives the life of an international playboy.
He was last sighted off the coast of Somalia, fishing.
St. John does have practical weapons exposure,
but he claims, without any verifiable military record
that he has experience leading troops in naval warfare.
He demanded an entourage of five. He settled for one.
Our next client is Sam Haussmann.
I've heard of this guy. - Who hasn't?
A cell phone pioneer and a permanent resident on Forbes List.
Haussmann's lived enough for three ordinary men.
He's been married five times, he has eight kids.
He's made two huge fortunes and lost one.
He's climbed Everest and fought bulls
and hunted every kind of big game.
Even three species that are now extinct.
And he's beaten two major heart attacks, as well.
And now for the bad. Our fourth client.
The Grim Reaper.
Grimaud Tourneur. Born in French Africa.
Very little is known about this international man of mystery,
before becoming the world's most notorious arms dealer.
Our angel of death sold weapons to both sides in the civil war in Sudan.
Then he started a revolution in Congo
just to peddle more guns.
Grimaud makes even mercenaries seem like Sisters of Mercy.
He's a profiteer of war,
but he's never participated in one.
He's selling our new friends their weapons, as well.
And finally, at the bottom of the barrel, we have Tommy Sin.
Sin is the creator of Death Porn, the mega-violent fantasy video game.
Five teenagers decapitated their parents
after playing his smash hit game.
But each time Sin is accused of incitement to murder
he's acquitted.
Sin probably thinks war is just a game, too.
Apart from his addiction to video games,
this lunatic just broke his leg.
Welcome to our training camp, gentlemen.
I'm Captain McKenzie, this is Captain Reed.
These five men are going to be your bodyguards.
You will obey their every command.
Whose buck is this?
How about they obey our orders?
If any of them is going to be my bodyguard,
it is they who need the training, not me.
Yes, sir, Captain, sir.
Three bags full, sir.
The barracks over there are going to be your accommodations.
Uh, excuse me.
Uh, I trust we all have our own rooms. I mean...
Over the next few days you're gonna learn
how to survive in a hot zone.
Just remember,
the only thing worse in action than a coward is a hero. You got it?
Now, go stow your bags. Dismissed.
Oh, hey, uh, General? Uh, Colonel?
Can, uh, can someone carry my bag for me, 'cause my leg's done.
I can't I can't carry it.
Got a bum leg!
Jesus!
Jesus Christ. No, I told you about the fucking pharmacy.
Oh, it's like that, huh?
Helen and I will take the dining room.
What you playing there, son? - Baby Killer. On the top level.
I'm in the maternity ward.
Hey, Grimaud, can you feel it?
Feel what?
The thrill of being a kid again.
Playing war games with pop guns in your backyard.
This isn't a kids' game.
We're playing with real weapons now.
The Grim Reaper.
Hmm, big gun.
It's small.
Son, you know
it's not the size of your gun that matters,
it's where you stick it.
Let me show you a real hunter's weapon.
Now this, here, is Irene.
Irene's a bitch.
She would have sniped that Grim Reaper of yours at a thousand yards
before you even knew she was there.
Oh, that's nice. May I? - Yeah, sure.
Oh, thanks!
What're you doing?
Idiot.
You know,
I lost twenty-million dollars
when Lehman Brothers collapsed on Wall Street.
Sucker
Ch, yeah?
Screw you, too, banker.
Screw you, too, game boy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Simmer down! Simmer down now, boys.
Take it easy, big fella.
How about we have a party
to celebrate you two losing your cherries.
I agree.
Don't mind if I do. Thank you.
Cheers. - Here's mud in your eye.
1975! Damn, that was a vintage year.
Was she that pretty, Sam?
Yeah, well, whatever she was, she's probably a grandmother by now.
Here's to good living!
And a quick death. - Cheers, Sam.
Champagne, sir?
Thank you.
I bet you I kill more bad guys than you do.
Make it a hundred grand and you're on.
A hundred thousand? Deal.
I bet a million bucks
you both get blue balls.
Neither of you are man enough to kill a man for real.
It's a draw.
I hate a party when I'm not invited.
Let 'em have their fun.
We're getting paid, aren't we?
You know, those bastards are right.
Their bodyguards do need to train.
You look like an angel. An angel when you're dancing, angel.
How is your hedge fund?
Fine.
Why do you ask?
Nothing.
L just heard some rumors, that's all.
You know, how when the tide goes out, the wrecks get exposed?
Nonsense.
Hey! - Videoboy!
Damn. We're being attacked!
Let's make a run for it.
Gentlemen! Your throats have all been cut.
Sorry to interrupt your party,
but, after all, you did say that your bodyguards do need to train.
Thank you, bodyguards.
Now at least we know who the most vulnerable are.
Vanderbeer and Sin will be killed on our first contact.
Grim doesn't stand much of a chance.
And, uh, Haussmann and St. John, I don't see them lasting very long.
Thank you, gentlemen. If anybody is interested,
training begins at oh-six-hundred.
That's, like, six in the morning, isn't it?
Do you think your adrenalin junkies will show up?
If they don't, let's just go home.
I got a bad feeling about this op, anyway.
Oh, shit.
What happened to your lady?
I, uh, I sent her away. It's time for business.
What about you? Huh? What did you do with your valet?
I, uh, gave him a vacation.
He's been asking for, uh, well, years.
All right, let's get started.
Drop and give me fifty.
Drop!
There you go, boys. Kiss that anthill.
Come on, Grim! Come on, Grim! Let's move it.
Come on, kick ass! Let's go, Vanderbeer.
Now, Haussmann, get your ass over that wall. Let's go! Come on!
Move it! Let's go! Let's go! Come on!
Move your ass! Move your ass!
Come on, Haussmann, move your ass! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
What's that noise?
What are you doing? What the hell is that?
Is that a phone?
Hey, Alma. What did you do now?
Hang up that phone! Hang up that phone!
Uh, I'll call you back.
You do that again, I'll kill you myself. Come on! Move it!
You're moving like a senior citizen.
Come on, Vanderbeer. Your valet's not here to do it for you.
Work with your bodyguards.
Protect the money!
Hello? - Another cell phone addict?
You're all dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!
Pathetic! Pathetic!
Now, gentlemen, the rules are simple.
Protect your ﬂag at all costs,
and capture theirs.
And try to work together as a team.
Shoot at anyone with a green armband.
Vanderbeer, you stay in the bunker and protect the ﬂag.
St. John, Sin, you ﬂank left.
Me and Haussmann will ﬂank right.
All, right.
Let's see what you wealthy warriors are made of.
What is wrong with you? You must obey my orders.
Since when is this your command? - Since now.
I am the one with the most military experience here.
Son,
just because you peddle a lot of guns to a bunch of tin-pot dictators,
that don't make you our leader. - Don't call me "son," old man.
You're not my father. - How do you know?
I should be in charge!
My last game, War Whore, sold fifty-million units.
That's five-zero. - So what?
My great great uncle was a general in two World Wars.
I should be in command. - Oh, wow, your uncle was in a war.
That must mean you're an incredible warrior.
Look, that makes no sense.
Why don't we take off these helmets and I'll punch you in the throat?
I'm not obeying a virgin. - Who are you calling a virgin?
You've never killed a man, have you?
That's what men are made for. Fighting, not fucking.
Maybe I'll shoot you just to pop my cherry.
You just try it. And I'll cut your bourgeois throat.
Come on, try it.
Excuse me, ladies.
Hey, where are you going?
I've got nothing to prove to you pussies.
I signed up for a fight.
Ah! Not my face!
Now, that's what I call a hostile takeover.
You know the only rule in life? You've got to win.
We won!
We're dead, but we won!
Come on, come on! Through the tires
Come on! Come on! Move it!
All right.
Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Keep moving!
No, no. Right in there.
I know you've got a bum leg. I don't care!
I don't care. You signed up for this, didn't you?
Get through there. Hop over it.
There you go.
All right. Good.
Come on, Grim! Come on, Grim! Let's move it!
Let's see why they call you the killer. Let's go!
Cover the money!
Good. Good.
Game over.
Gentlemen,
tomorrow we leave for Snake Island. For your own safety,
all of your personal possessions are now going to be collected.
Place them in this bag.
Anything you can think of
hat can be used to positively identify you.
Cell phones, documents, wallets. You're not taking anything with you.
Until our mission is complete you will have no names.
Come on, move it, Vanderbeer. Put your cell phone in there.
Now get some shut eye. We leave at oh-five-hundred.
How long until we take off, Captain?
As soon as we're done loading the weapons.
All right, guys, let's keep loading up boxes.
Hurry up! Move it! Move it!
Aw! Come on, kid.
Five minutes to landing. - Roger that.
We've got a problem, buddy.
I hear you. Where's it coming from?
Okay, take her out. Fire!
Beautiful.
Craig, it's getting hot!
What the hell is going on, Captain?
She said this shoreline was safe. Lying bitch!
Give them a scare. Fire!
Look who we have here.
Again!
Spin the wheel!
I know how we can beat the system.
What are you talking about?
The shells take five seconds to arrive.
The fire-control computer projects target movement five seconds ahead.
If you zigzag fast enough you can beat the computer.
All right, Mike. Zigzag.
Zigzag. Head for the coast.
Head for the coast!
Port-side boat. Fire!
Mike!
Get down. Get down!
Okay, grab whatever gear you can and take cover in those rocks.
Come on! Come on!
Welcome to Snake Island, gentlemen.
You may never leave.
Come on, come on! Move it! Move it! Move it!
Fire.
God damn!
That'll pucker your rear end.
Any injuries? - No.
This is Tommy Sin.
Didn't I say no cell phones?
And you, how much are you getting?
What are they paying you? My friends are dead!
Grimaud Tourneur does not sell people out.
Well, then how did you know about that cannon?
I sold it to Colonel Lupo. He didn't pay me.
That's why I'm on this trip.
To kill him or get paid.
The Grim Reaper always gets paid.
Come on. Come on! Move it! Move it!
Cover! Cover!
You! You said the sea route would be safe.
Because of you, my men are dead.
I knew you were bad news.
Before I met you, I never lost a man under my command.
What am I supposed to do with your precious sponsors?
Fulfill your contract.
Lead them to safety.
These men need your skills now, Craig.
Their survival is in your hands.
Once we get to the resistance base camp,
Ernesto can arrange for their evacuation.
Come on.
Let's get the fuck off this island.
Grimaud, give me your cell phone.
But you wanted to kill man-prey.
You haven't completed your mission.
Yeah, that's very clever. Give me your cell phone.
I don't have one.
Hey, Sam. Do you have a cell phone?
Now, son, I know things aren't going according to plan,
but Sam Haussmann didn't come all this way just to turn tail and run.
And I'm not sure using a cell phone
is such a swift idea, either.
This isn't what we paid for!
How you holding up, Sam?
Getting old, Captain. Slowing down.
Enjoy it while you can, Captain.
You're a long time gone.
I'm hungry. What have we got to eat?
We eat at the camp.
Just remember, I'm on a low-carb diet, okay?
It's over.
Without those weapons, we can't resist any longer.
Tomorrow, you'll evacuate our sponsors.
I'll find us a boat. You'll be paid in full for your services.
Definitely not low-carb.
I should have brought my chef.
Charlie, why the hell did you pay to come on this mission?
Just so's you could whine about everything?
Bragging rights.
Such is life on the street. Wall Street.
He who dares, wins.
We already know why Grimaud's here.
He's being shot at with his own merchandise
and he hasn't been paid for it.
Why are you here, Tommy?
Doctor's orders.
My psychiatrist said that I am addicted to shooter video games.
She suggested a dose of healthy reality.
So you're here to feel the real?
All right, that takes care of the logistics.
But I'm not leaving this island until we figure out one thing.
Why my men were killed.
Somebody talked.
If I were you, I would move this base right now.
How about you, Sam?
Well, Sam just wants to hang a human head in his trophy cabinet.
I don't plan on going home.
My present wife, I just call her "number five,"
she's suing me for divorce.
And according to that prenuptial bullshit I was an fool in love enough to sign,
if we split, she gets half of everything I own.
Whereas, if I get killed, my kids inherit the whole she-bang.
Hell, I've already survived two heart attacks.
I've done pretty much everything there is to do on this old planet.
And I've enjoyed the hell out of it, too.
No, this here is all there is.
I say we stay here for the night, break camp in the morning.
Okay, fine, that's your choice. But I'm taking my men out of here.
At least what's left of them.
Die in battle...
That's a hell of a way to screw a gold-digger.
And what are your reasons?
Get your things, we're getting the hell out of here.
Yes!
Oh, we got 'em, we got 'em.
Here, take a look.
Ernesto! - Cecilia, save yourself!
Okay, left ﬂank, move in. Wipe 'em out.
What's up, Captain?
You wanted to see what war looks like? Take a look.
All right, wait here. Don't give way your position.
Hey, where you going?
Get the bitch!
Jesus, they're getting torn to shreds down there.
So this is what our money bought us?
To play war safely, from a distance?
So, we're going to just hide?
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Let's go kill some bad guys.
We start firing, they'll spot our position.
Shoot, you can't bake a cake without breaking some eggs.
Jackpot!
There's a sniper! There! There! The enemy sniper, you see him?
The Grim Reaper is next.
Come on. Come on.
Incoming!
What the fuck happened?
Which one of you is responsible for giving away our position?
Seemed to me our friends down there needed some help.
Where's Vanderbeer?
Last time I saw him he was in the...
Looks like I won that bet.
It's a bet, you'll never call in.
Shit! Come on, come on! Move it! Move it! Follow me.
Come!
Everybody behind the tree. Take cover!
Can they see us? - Sin, stay down!
Where is that chopper coming from?
I said, where is that chopper coming from?
Cecilia, you've got to snap out of it!
That helicopter's coming from a helipad that serves the mines.
It's about three kilometers from here.
How do you know about this base?
I used to play in these woods when I was a boy.
My father served here during the Cold War.
And what do they mine here? Gold?
Coltan.
It's a rare Earth metal.
And you trade metals, don't you? - Yes.
You want to tell us now why you are here?
Business with Colonel Lupo.
I need that metal. - Business?
You bastard.
People died because of your business.
We all believed you wanted to help free this island.
Maybe it's you. You who betrayed us for fucking money.
Your greed has left you with blood on your hands.
Here.
Wait here until I get back.
Cecilia!
It's too exposed up here.
We've got to get back to the group.
Look, I'm sorry about your brother.
And I'm sorry about your friends.
But there is nothing I can do to bring them back.
Just like there's nothing I can do to bring back mine.
Boys, this is our chance.
Sam, do you think you can pilot that thing?
Piece of cake.
Let's wait for Craig.
It's a trap. I can smell it.
We capture it. We wait for them there.
You really want to die on this island?
Any moment now, that chopper could take off again.
What do you say, gentlemen?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I'm in.
Let's do it. - Come on.
Let's go.
Craig.
See how easy it is to trap fools like you?
All you need is the right bait.
Take them away!
Those stupid bags of money.
Oh, Jesus Christ
What is this place?
It was a NATO base during the Cold War.
The whole mountain is tunneled out from the inside.
Nice tomb.
Think we'll ever get out of here alive?
Hello again!
Your accommodation awaits.
Nice here, huh?
Private pool.
Room service.
Concierge.
Touch me again and I'll kill you.
Thank God, you're here!
Charlie!
Hey, Tommy-
I don't believe it.
Hey, Sam. Hey, buddy.
Well, we thought you were dead.
Me? Dead?
Of course not.
So what happened to you?
Well, I don't know about you guys,
but I have never been so scared in my whole life.
I go outside to take a piss
and then all the shells started dropping and the sound and the noise and the smoke.
I got completely disoriented.
I did not know where the fuck I was.
So I eventually found my way back and the tent was destroyed you guys had gone,
and soldiers came and...
Now here I am.
Does anyone have a cell phone? - No.
Just hoping.
Hey, Charlie. Have you got any of those fancy cigars of yours left?
Sure, Sam.
Hey, Tommy, what happened to our Captain and that girl?
Oh, he is... - They are dead.
Yeah. Dead.
Yeah.
Do you mind if I have one of those?
Of course not. - Thanks.
Only fifty bucks a smoke.
So, uh, how did they get killed?
Tank shell.
Kapow! Boom! Awful.
I think I've still got some of the Captain in my hair, Charlie.
Well, some trip this turned out to be, huh?
What are you looking at?
Open Up!
You fucking piece of piss.
You sold us out!
Yeah, well. Big deal.
Get over it.
I'm going to kick your ass.
Eat shit and die, old man.
Fucking hell. Okay.
You can inform Colonel Lupe
that Captain McKenzie and the girl are dead.
Satisfied?
Ooh, the wild bunch.
So, you see, gentlemen,
we do know who you really are.
Mr. Sin.
I always wanted to be a nemesis character in one of your video games.
Why would anyone want to play a tin-pot criminal like you
in one of my video games?
Because he can get to do shit like this.
That's why!
He shot me in the leg!
We can stay dry under here.
Think there are any snakes in here?
No. Just me.
I'm sorry for this challenging assignment.
I'm all in.
Now we get to save the others. - What do you mean?
Well, what did you think I was gonna do, leave them all here to die?
Come on, Sam! - Yeah.
Breathe hard, Sam.
Breathe hard. That's it.
Well, you wanted to feel the real game, boy.
Now you know.
It hurts.
How does it look? Am I going to die?
Yes. - What?
Someday. But not from this little scratch.
Yeah, I'm okay. I'm all right. - Hold him down.
I'm okay. I'm okay, I'm all right.
I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.
1899. I saved the best for last.
It's a goddamn shame
to waste good cognac on a ﬂesh wound.
Here you go, son.
Have a little hair of the goat.
Is it finished? - Yes, yes.
Is it over? - Yeah.
You should put that around your neck.
Go!
Good morning, gentlemen.
We're looking well this morning.
Come on, come on, line 'em up. We've got business.
Good morning, gentlemen.
I trust you've got no illusions as to why you're still alive.
Half of your net worth.
That's my price for letting each of you go.
Once we agree,
my new financial consultant will work out the details.
And if we don't agree?
Then where you are going,
you don't get to take anything with you.
The Grim Reaper always gets paid. You owe me.
And what about you, old man?
Old enough to know bullshit when I step in it.
Would you rather lose your lives than your money?
Are you rich bastards really that tight-fisted?
That's your choice.
Kill this liar first.
And what about me?
I might want to buy an extra life.
Tommy!
We're not in a fucking video game. This man will kill us.
Mr. Vanderbeer, how much do you calculate Mr. Sin is worth?
My daughter.
Next time, I'll kill you.
Hey, Lupo!
Hold your fire!
If you want your daughter back, you'll let these men go.
Release the prisoners!
Go!
Don't shoot!
Secure the base!
I want those bastards killed!
Come on!
Come here, my darling. - You heard him. Go!
Craig!
Cecilia! You go! We'll find another way.
Get the hell out of here!
That bitch tried to kill me! - Magda, stop!
Don't worry. She'll be fine. - After her!
Follow me!
All right, come on. We are going this way. Go! Go!
Hey! Where did they go? Where did they go?
On the right, guys! On the right! Come on!
Take this boat back to Colonel Lupo.
There is no one here. Raise the boom!
You lose.
Hey, Captain.
This is my merchandise.
Help yourselves.
Shit! We've got to get the hell out of here!
If a bullet hits one of those barrels, we're all dead.
Give me a push.
What are you gonna do?
No worries, I'm only going along for the ride.
Push, god damn it!
Push! Come on!
Stay down! Stay down!
You find those guys or I get the fuck off this island.
There they are!
Cover me!
Take him out with grenades. Okay? - No!
What do you mean, "no"? - There are barrels of explosives.
If they ignite, this whole place will blow up.
Okay, look. You take care of that old man. I'll see you're well paid for it.
I'll be back.
Where is everyone going?
Shoot!
Shoot him!
Remember me?
I told you I'd kill you.
Hey, Tommy-
Looking for somebody?
Before you kill me, Charlie,
just answer me one thing. - Yeah.
Why did you do it?
Nothing personal, Tommy.
I had no choice.
You see, I knew my hedge fund was going to crash.
I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in jail,
so I transferred the rest of my funds here.
I thought this would make quite a nice a retirement home.
My mistake.
My fucking leg!
Stop messing around, you little junkie.
Charlie! Don't do it.
Video boy! Do it!
Fucking banker!
I hope you guys are long gone.
Bye, bye, number five.
Nice! Nice work, frog's legs.
The Grim Reaper always gets paid.
Breathe! Come on.
Nice work.
A toast. To Sam Haussmann!
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