That's the untraceable question, but what is love?
Hmm. Mm. Mm.
Um...
People have tried to define that for the longest time.
Love is when you can look in each other's eyes
and just know they're... she's gonna be there for you.
It's that sense of excitement
and... Adventure.
It's that feeling of I can't live without her.
Don't want to live without her.
You want to be with someone,
take care of someone.
Be close with someone.
Caring for somebody and their well-being
more than you care for your own.
Finding someone you can be compatible with
and be committed to.
Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
Each year, thousands of foreign women
marry American men
through so-called international matchmakers.
A view from the room.
Come on, people, work with me.
One of the most important things you'll ever do
is try to find that one person
you want to spend the rest of your life with.
The international matchmaking industry,
better known as mail order bride business,
is booming.
Many of the men that call me will tell me
it's difficult to find women here
in the United States that are even interested
in long-term relationships and marriage.
There are so many
really sincere, wonderful, wonderful women
in Russia, Ukraine, China, everywhere,
who really want to find somebody
to build family with.
Most of our clients, they're not willing to settle,
so wy not look for that life mate
in a different country?
There's a misconception that these relationships
are set up to give the men the upper hand.
I am upper hand.
You're the upper hand in this relationship?
- Are we ready to go? - We're ready. Let's do it.
You and me, babe.
How often does reality really meet expectation?
Oh, quite often,
but it doesn't always happen right away.
And welcome to "a foreign affair live."
My name is John Adams,
co-founder of a foreign affair.
And I will be your guide as we explore
the beautiful world of international introductions.
I've always heard about mail order brides.
Originally, a guy would order a wife
with no idea, maybe a picture of her.
But with the advent of the Internet,
now it made things much more visual and real
to see the girls, to write 'em emails.
My name's Robert Wilson,
I'm from Fresno, California,
work in heavy steel construction...
roads, Bridges, freeways.
Since my divorce, it hasn't been great.
It's tough out there.
You know, when you have a full-time job,
it's tough to meet people,
and I want to meet a woman.
One woman.
That's all I'm looking for is one woman.
Meeting someone from overseas...
I feel like if I can meet the right one
that she might be more serious
about actually building a relationship
and giving it the time we would need.
My name is Eric ireton.
I'm a mechanical engineer.
I live in San Antonio, Texas.
I'm 45.
What's your favorite gun?
Do you have it in there?
Favorite gun?
I don't know. It's hard to have a favorite.
.357 Magnum.
The first handgun I bought.
Got my 12-gauge shotgun.
Ak-47, ar-15.
A little .22 caliber
with a 20-gauge shotgun over/under.
When was your last serious relationship,
like, here?
I've never had one.
I tried the army and a few of these other regular dating sites.
Never worked for me.
My name's Bobby Cannon. I'm 46.
And I work in human resources
for the federal government.
And my views are mine alone,
not the government's.
So this is the living room.
This is where I spend most of the day
when I'm at home.
I've got some of my collection.
I tend to be a little bit shy,
so I don't meet a lot of folks
for relationship purposes.
And to be honest, you know,
I'm a little bit heavier,
so that is something that is a real negative
in the United States.
I hated dating.
I got on your popular sites,
and my first five dates
lasted less than five minutes.
All five of 'em.
I'm Ron Kirby. I'm from north Carolina at pinehurst.
I married my childhood sweetheart.
Met her when she was 12. I was 13.
Got married at 18. Three kids by 26.
We were married for 28 years.
If there was one thing missing in our marriage,
it was this:
I felt taken advantage of.
What I wanted from my wife
was a pat on the back now and then,
an "attaboy, I'm proud of you."
Just not being taken for granted.
I do want to be married,
so I got to looking on the Internet.
And of course, you know, you can find anything on the Internet.
My name's Travis needham from plain, Wisconsin.
38 years old.
So how many cows are you going to milk today?
About 170, 175.
I don't know the exact number.
I know it's a lot more than I want to milk.
I haven't really dated a lot of girls,
other than one, and...
Let's just leave it at that.
Where are all the women in this town?
There's a lot of guys.
I could think of six single women off the top of my head,
and probably most are divorcees.
Around here, work ethic.
You don't got time.
I wouldn't take it as a personal thing.
It's just there's not a lot of women here.
It's almost like living with the eskimos, you know?
I got frustrated with American women,
so I typed into Google something about Russian brides.
A foreign affair came up.
Welcome to the fascinating world
of a foreign affair,
where true love knows no boundaries.
My name is John Adams,
president of a foreign affair,
and I would like to thank you for taking the time
to learn more about this exciting
and very real process
of finding your special someone.
You look at John Adams...
and John, if you're looking at this,
don't get mad at me...
but he's an average guy.
He isn't the best-looking guy in the world.
He's a got a little bit of a pooch, like he said.
And yet it worked for him.
I was lucky enough to find my Russian bride
several years ago
with the assistance of a foreign affair,
and I assure you that it can work for you as well.
So then you have to say if it worked for John,
you know, certainly, maybe, maybe it could work for me.
She's kind of cute.
Cute.
Possibly.
A foreign affair
is really just an international version
of any kind of local dating service
that you would go to online
in order to try to meet someone,
only we focus more on the international sector.
We have about 16 or 17 different offices
around the world, and we're dealing with
thousands and thousands of clients every month.
All you do is find the computers, you can register,
and you can start meeting people from everywhere.
I was lucky enough to meet Tanya
through a foreign affair, actually,
so, yeah, I'm a great example
of how it can work,
and it does work.
What happens when you're lucky enough
to meet the love of your life?
Over here.
What happens when you're lucky enough
to meet the love of your life?
Pretty slow. A little slow over here.
He's gotta wake up. Get that coffee going.
I met John when I was 27,
and when I was 29,
I moved to the United States.
I came from St. Petersburg, Russia.
John said it's my first marriage and your last.
So, yeah, it's the second one.
The Internet really changed the way we date,
both internationally and domestically.
When the men do go to the site,
they have to register on the site.
And then they can start writing letters
to the women.
You've got to pay for letters
because it will actually translate letters for you
and get them to the women
and get the replies back for you.
I got on the afa website,
and I started getting some letters
from some women in Ukraine.
I really didn't even know
what Ukraine was.
The women there are just gorgeous.
I found 10 women that I really liked,
so I started writing to them.
All 10 wrote back.
I spent a lot of money in correspondence
and I thought, you know, you just gotta go over there
and meet these women.
John: As the Internet does grow
and as the world shrinks,
people are going to continue
to start looking outside the boundaries
because why wouldn't you?
It's right in your own living room now.
I am Elena petrova.
I am the owner of Elena's models,
a dating agency that specializes
in introducing women from eastern Europe
with men from all over the world.
I was born in yekaterinburg, Russia,
and I moved to Australia to join my husband
about 15 years ago.
You were a popular mail order bride.
Yes, I was a popular mail order bride.
Marriage for a woman in eastern Europe,
it's such a huge value.
It's so up there,
she's going to give up anything to get it.
We have more than 200,000 active profiles.
We personally talk with the majority of women
before we approve their profiles.
Our business model is very simple.
You place your profile.
You're responsible for your profile.
We just do our best
to ensure that there are only genuine, sincere people
on our website.
Okay. Let's go, mate.
God, dumb machine.
My name is Michael,
and I can actually say that in Russian, too.
That's my name.
Nice area this, huh?
My first wife,
she left me after 10 years.
Threw all that out. So have I.
My second wife passed away with cancer in '98.
She had leukemia and it was quick.
We were only married for four years.
Morning. How are you?
I'm not getting younger. I don't want to be alone.
Been like that for 12 years, you know,
and it's not really happy.
I support Elena's models
because it's the honor system.
You can contact the girls, you know,
once they're interested in you.
And you can start talking to them straight away.
Svitlana sent me some pictures.
That's svitlana.
There's also another one she sent me,
and I really love this photo.
I don't know, because I just like her smile there.
I saw svitlana.
She was a newcomer on Elena's.
I thought she looks nice,
and she had this sort of like sad look in her eyes.
You know, I always look for the eyes.
I don't know, you know.
And I thought I'll give her a go, you know,
although she was, like, 37 years old.
I thought, well, I'm just gonna have a chat with her.
Sasha, Elena. Svitlana's girls.
Svitlana and that's Elena.
We started communicating through Elena's
for a couple of months,
and then she gave me her email address
and we started with email, addressing her.
Elena: In Ukraine, there is 87 men for 100 women.
And drinking is huge problem.
Most Ukrainian guys,
as they become a bit older and older,
they drink more and more.
So lots of women are using our website
to meet someone
simply because there are not enough men
that she can choose from.
John: We want people to meet.
We want them to be successful,
to actually have a meaningful relationship.
We always preach they should actually get on a plane
and go over and meet these women in person,
because that's the only way
anything's ever going to happen for you
if you want something to happen for you.
I'm sure you're wondering,
"can I really travel halfway around the world
and develop a meaningful relationship,
one that will result in marriage?"
The answer is yes.
The romance tour is absolutely amazing.
It is the best experience that you'll ever have.
My cousin told me he would never do it.
I said, "why?" He says, "I wouldn't spend the money.
I'm too much of a tightwad."
And my answer was, "well, what's happiness worth?
$12,000 to meet a beautiful woman
that I love, that loves me?
That's nothing."
I don't really feel like it's my last chance,
but I just didn't want to be along anymore
and nothing was happening around here.
Why would anyone else spend this kind of money
to find a wife?
Bob: We're going to three separate cities
during the trip: Odessa, nikolayev, and kherson.
It starts in New York at jfk,
everybody's meeting for the first time.
Everybody's kind of sizing everybody else up.
It's kind of like a road trip
if you're in a fraternity, in a way,
but it has a purpose, of course,
which a road trip does not.
I'm Bob wray.
I'm a tour director
for a foreign affair tour.
There's a lot of faith involved in this.
There has to be because you're asking men,
look, fork over a few thousand dollars,
take a couple of weeks out of your schedule,
and come over with us.
- That's ours? - That's ours.
Gotta move.
All right, guys. We made it!
Welcome to Odessa, Ukraine.
You can watch the guys on the bus
and they're kind of looking around out the window,
like, "wow, wow, this is strange."
You can just see them just thinking and looking,
and, you know, there's a little bit of apprehension,
a little bit of fear, maybe,
a little bit of all these things
going through their minds
because it's not the easiest process in the world.
It really isn't.
Finding someone for a relationship abroad
is very similar to finding a job abroad.
If you can get better pay,
you probably will go.
Or if you want adventure, you will go.
If I can get more than I can get locally,
then I'll go.
One day, svitlana asked me, am I for real?
I said I'm for real. I'll come see you.
So I'm planning to fly over to Kiev
for a week.
I don't like something that's ordinary.
I like something that's out of the ordinary.
I suppose that's why I'm going to Russia for a girl.
I like something out of the ordinary.
Michael: It's an adventure, you know.
For me, I like adventure.
I feel motivated by doing it.
I really feel motivated.
I did not really achieve what I wanted in life.
I need some more time.
I just want to be happy and it doesn't matter where,
where I'm going to find it, you know.
If it's here in the Ukraine, why not?
I'll come here.
Yippy kay-ay.
All right, guys.
We're gonna get started here with this orientation.
Now, a social, it's not a cocktail party.
It's a great opportunity
to meet a lot of different people at one time.
Right? It's all about moving around
as much as possible to try to meet
as many different people as possible.
The first big event of this whole tour is the social.
That's what everybody's looking forward to,
so everybody is ready for that.
I don't have any expectations.
My plans are to shake the hands
of every single woman there tonight.
Hi. I'm Ron.
I am Ron. And I am Ron.
I really want to welcome you all for coming.
It's really important that if you see someone that you like,
don't be shy.
Just go up to him
and say, hey, can I talk to you?
I guarantee you that the men
are more shy than you are.
It was like being a kid in a candy store.
I wasn't really quite sure how to handle it.
My job is to go around
and encourage the men to be as proactive as they possibly can
and talk to as many women as they possibly can,
and have a good time at the same time.
I'm overwhelmed by the attention I've gotten.
A lot of my friends who are single
thought I was crazy to come over here,
but I tend to always think outside the box.
We had 210 women at that social.
20 guys.
A 10 to 1 ratio.
Welcome to paradise.
For me, it's been very nerve-wracking.
A lot of beautiful women,
and it's not like that at home.
They just can't believe
that these women are interested in them,
because they're used to the situation at home
where nobody's interested in them.
These women believe in family first.
Not career first. Family first.
I'll tell you, it's like dating a girl from the fifties.
It's like dating my mom.
� American boys �
I can speak in front of 3,000 people,
but getting on that dance floor,
that makes me nervous.
You gonna do it?
Growing up Southern baptist,
I've never danced.
If I find the right one, I might.
I've been trying to be realistic in my search.
I'm in pretty good shape for my age,
but I can certainly feel my age
in the last three years.
Would you like to dance?
Okay.
I want someone who still loves me for me,
you know, when I'm not as virile,
when I am starting to fall apart.
You know, and I wouldn't mind
falling apart with someone.
My name is Ron.
My name is Serena.
So you speak English?
And how old are you?
It's a secret.
Well, that's important.
Yes, yes.
If you're 25 years younger than me,
then they're not gonna be falling apart with me.
Tell me about the woman that you met.
What happened when you met?
Instant sparks.
I can't explain it.
Even though she speaks very little English
and I speak no Russian, it was just instant sparks.
Her name's Victoria. We met at the social.
Danced for a while, talked for a while.
I never left her side till late the next afternoon
to go to the hotel, freshen up,
and went back to spend more time with her.
In a perfect world,
this would just keep going
as awesome and wonderful as it's been.
And if it keeps going in the direction that it is,
I plan on being engaged before I leave.
- How are you? - Did you sleep well?
I did, the little bit I slept, yeah.
Okay, guys, I'm glad to see that you all survived.
Odessa so far.
So now that you have one social under your belt,
you have a little better idea
how to manipulate and maneuver in the social.
In nikolayev, the social will be held
at a nightclub that's called the illusion.
When you're dating, you know
that could be appropriate, right?
You guys have fun with it
and hopefully you'll find that one woman
that you can really connect with.
We arrive at the social at 5:00,
and it's jammed.
I mean, there are women everywhere.
Guys are making time in the line.
I mean, they're talking to the girls
and the girls aren't even in yet.
They got their coats still on.
They got one social under their belt,
they're veterans now. They're not rookies anymore.
They know what they're doing.
Ah, the beginnings of another social.
How do they do that?
Did you see that?
I've been to Ukraine
on six different trips,
and when I walk in to the social,
of course, I'm always uncomfortable
'cause there's a lot of people in that room
and there's a lot of beautiful women in that room.
So the hardest part for me
is to just start with the first one.
And I take my interpreter
and we start walking the room.
There sitting at this table by herself
is a very tall, beautiful girl
with long blonde hair.
She fit all the criteria
that I kind of went on this trip with.
We talked for quite a long time
and she was definitely interested
in the possibility of what it could turn into.
Some of these guys just haven't dated in a long time,
and these passions, these feelings
I don't think they've felt for years and years.
And all of a sudden,
they're really just exploring it all over again.
� I want a girl like you �
� who wants a boy like me �
� who gets a girl like you �
I'm skeptical on this.
Having talked to some of the translators here,
when I've asked them,
"tell me what percentage of the women here
are truly in their heart interested
in finding a man, being married."
I mean, they're giving me some really low numbers.
Do you have any children?
- No. - Okay.
Hold on. I'm looking for someone with no children.
I've certainly not met anyone age appropriate for me.
Last night, I met a girl at a social.
Somehow we started chatting,
even though she doesn't speak English.
We ended up dancing together
the rest of the night.
And when we were at the club,
she asked me on a date,
so we have a date tonight at 7:00.
And her name is vitalina.
I'm looking for a partner, you know.
A lover, a friend.
I've got a great life, you know.
There's just that one piece missing.
Tell her she looks very pretty tonight.
Thank you.
She say that she like you
from your first meeting,
and she say she just want, like...
to hold with him, that he hold me or hug me,
and just no talk.
Just sit and she feel very comfortable with you.
Comfortable, yeah.
So we don't need an interpreter for that.
- I agree with you. - Yeah.
I agree with you.
I was sort of, like, nervous
because I didn't know what to expect, yeah.
But I could see she's all smiles
and things like that.
I believe that it's good
for both Western men
and Ukrainian women
to be able to explore options elsewhere
because it's always great
when you can expand your horizons
and understand what is right for you.
I didn't come here just for entertainment.
I really want to make it with her, you know.
We've been talking about it on the Internet all the time.
I told her we'll take it one step at a time.
Who won? Who won?
I don't know.
All right, guys.
Well, you've now survived two socials.
I congratulate all of you
for going to the third and final social
here in kherson.
It's gonna be over before you know it.
Nothing really matters.
Just go up, talk to whoever you want to talk to.
Make something happen.
I mean, you know, don't sit there and be shy.
Just go up and do it
because you'll probably never see her again anyway.
She lives in the Ukraine.
This is your opportunity. This is it.
It's the last city and I'm down to one.
To be honest, this is probably the one
that my eye always came back to.
Her name is Julia.
She works at a travel agency.
Incredibly beautiful.
We've been writing to each other
for... it's got to be seven, eight months now.
We'll meet at the social.
I'm coming to basically try to sweep her off her feet.
Do you have pictures of her?
Yeah.
How old is she?
26. She was a little bit under my target age.
This is the one from the website
where she looks like Angelina Jolie.
Yeah. She does.
How can you go wrong there?
A little nervous.
Just waiting.
This last hour and a half of wait
is just driving me up a wall.
Something a little special.
All the other guys, they go out and buy roses.
I wanted to get something that would last
hopefully as long as the relationship.
So one gold rose.
Hopefully it gets her this and everything will be okay.
And I'll be either really happy or really sad.
This is like prom for old guys.
That's the way I'm looking at it,
which is nice, since I never went to prom, so...
Thank you.
I'm sort of hoping
to have a table off by ourselves the whole night.
It will have a translator
because she doesn't speak English,
I don't do Russian.
So we can just treat that as our first date.
Every time I see someone with black hair walk in the door,
my heart goes, uh! Oh, it's not her.
Uh! Not her.
When I did my search, I looked for certain specific things.
I like women that have black hair, blue eyes.
People that are smart, that are independent.
Someone that's gonna make me want to be a better me.
Your climactic moment is gonna happen any minute.
Yeah, I'm hoping.
When the guys come over,
they have their own set of expectations,
which may be on target and may not be on target.
And they think, oh, gee,
I've been writing to Irina, svitlana, Elena.
I've been writing to all these women
and they write to me,
and I wrote to them, I told them I was coming over.
And maybe that works and maybe that doesn't.
Hi. Are the women checking in with you, too?
Only her.
Oh, okay. No English.
Perfect.
I thought she was going to show up. I really did.
So I made sure I was staying off by myself
because I didn't want to have to fend off other women,
trying to keep them away while I'm trying to wait for her.
Now, I wanted to come in here
to this place to meet this person
and now I don't know what's going on.
So how are you feeling?
Like anybody would feel.
Definitely not good.
So I had a conversation with John this morning.
I said, you know, the lady I'm talking to online,
the lady I'm writing to,
works full time in a tourist agency.
Monday through Friday, half a day Saturdays,
and isn't a student.
And the person that Max is talking to
is a student half time.
I said, you know, I've been writing this lady,
you know, almost daily for months now.
Email are $10 a pop going and coming,
so I'm probably out 10 grand.
My biggest fear is that it was a scam.
That she's writing to 50 or 60 guys
and she's getting a cut of the fees
for the emails going back and forth.
John said he's concerned about that, too,
so he's trying to find out what's really going on.
As he said, you know, well, there's other women to meet.
I said I didn't come here to meet other women.
That's not what I was here for.
I say, I can understand
why there's such a lot of Ukrainian dating sites,
because the women here are truly beautiful.
But I've only got eyes for mine.
It's not easy giving your whole life up and move.
Really, it's not that easy.
I live in Australia,
and there's a lot of opportunity.
But then, she's got a business here.
She's got her family here, you know.
If she wants to have a good life with me,
I will really look after her
and take care of her.
So she's got to decide what she wants to do.
Max just called me and told me
that she'd be down there at 5:00 in the lobby, so...
They finally got ahold of Julia,
and she is supposed to be coming here
in about half an hour, hour,
for our first date.
I have to go in there
approaching it like she's honest and all that
and hoping that I'm not being screwed.
So...
And it's been hours.
I've been sitting here thinking the same thing over and over.
How do I know?
How do you know? How do you tell?
- Hi. - How you doing?
Welcome.
Sorry.
We've been writing for about seven, eight months now.
I was wondering what your feeling is
on the relationship.
And what do you say?
We've been writing for so long,
I was hoping that we'd be able to move on.
I came here to see you.
It's the only reason I came,
was to see if you wanted to move
maybe further in the relationship.
Do you feel like she was the woman
that was writing to you?
I had some questions and doubts
because the pictures I showed her
were pictures of things that she's seen before...
the house, the yard, my work.
People in black.
This is actually pictures
from the last shuttle launch.
Wow.
If she wasn't the one writing the letters,
does it matter?
It would have
and probably should.
But what I don't want to do is for me to overthink it
and cause the problem that isn't really there.
I guess, honestly, I can't get this girl out of my mind.
Something that's special and beautiful and unique
shouldn't be alone, they should come in pairs.
And I was hoping...
I may not be, you know, beautiful
and that unique, but I'm hoping
that maybe we could be a pair.
You are very inspiring.
Yeah.
And we'll have them, too.
Do you want to come to America and marry me?
Let's move into this direction.
Okay.
Can I, please?
So, what was your impressions of tonight?
I think it went really well.
I think I'm engaged now,
so I'd have to say it's going really well.
Did you get her email address?
No. Gotta still go through the service
because I need to have the translations.
So we'll go through that.
I can ask her through that
if she wants to give me her email address.
I don't know if she has one.
Didn't even think to ask.
A little preoccupied.
You're engaged.
I'm engaged.
I want to settle down again with a good girl,
and I think svitlana is a good girl.
We had a wonderful time in Kiev.
I asked her do you wanna marry me?
And she said yes, and that's it.
So we're going to get married in Bali.
I'm gonna try and I'll give it my best shot.
If it depends on me, I will make it work.
I'm very impressed with the tour.
I think for the cost, you get a lot.
Next Christmas, I would like to be either married
or real close to being married.
They're not that fucking friendly.
They're not.
Now that I'm leaving, that's how I feel.
No, I don't think most of the people here
like Americans particularly.
You take a woman from the Ukraine,
and you have to overcome the language barrier
if she doesn't speak excellent English.
More importantly, you have to overcome
the cultural difference.
But would I come back to the Ukraine
or anywhere to look for a bride? No.
I met one girl that I really liked.
So we probably spent about
a total of three hours actually face to face.
I was only hoping that this would happen.
I never dreamed that it actually would.
Yeah.
I really don't want to leave.
Kind of have to.
It's really rough leaving Victoria here.
I'll try to keep in constant contact with her.
Hopefully Skype a lot, talk on the phone.
Anything else you want to say
before you say goodbye to Victoria?
Too much. No, I can't.
You pretty torn up?
Yeah, very.
So are you gonna be okay?
I don't know. We'll see.
It's so hard to tell you
who I think will be successful,
because, to me, if someone comes over
and has a wonderful time, it opens their eyes,
that's a successful time.
But as far as finding that one woman
and getting married, if you define that as success,
that's really hard to tell
because this is real life.
This isn't controlled.
They're all adults we're introducing,
and whatever happens happens.
It's been almost three months since I've seen vica.
When I left Odessa,
I knew we had a great connection
and, you know, we obviously liked each other very much.
You know, I can't say I was in love.
I knew I liked her a lot.
I've never felt that right away with anyone else,
and I didn't want to lose that.
Come on, get up.
After coming back home,
I did not know I was in love with her
until I seen the video that afa had
on their website from December tour.
Come on.
First time I seen it, I balled my eyes out.
That was when I knew.
It just brought back everything
'cause I knew exactly what she was doing.
She was singing to me in Russian.
It brought that back instantly.
I still can't watch it.
I'll be there in one week today.
I can't hardly sleep.
I've been to Ukraine on six different trips
over the course of about nine years.
I've probably dated 35 to 50 women
that I met there,
and all indications are that I have found someone
that is truly serious
about building a committed relationship
and coming to the U.S.
So I leave on my seventh journey
in two days,
and we will be back together
in about a week and a half.
For inna.
I got her this engagement ring.
I can't wait to see you at the airport.
I agree.
I'll miss you until I see you
at the airport.
Okay. Bye-bye.
Goodbye.
I really am looking forward
to coming through that gate at the airport
and looking into her eyes again
and reconnect physically.
I just want to hold her.
- Robert. - Hey, sweetheart.
How are you?
Oh.
I came back and vita was available.
She would meet me anytime.
I said can we Skype here, can we Skype...
she was available.
What did she say?
She's just laughing.
It's refreshing.
The innocence that she has,
it's just really made an impression on me.
There's a lot of affection.
There was immediately.
When you're walking down the street arm in arm,
who needs to speak the same language, you know?
So when I came back,
within the first week or two,
I thought, "this actually may work out."
And it wasn't too long after that
I decided that I was going back to see her.
And here's my lovely miss vita.
I went back with the idea
that I was gonna ask her to marry me
and get engaged.
I think within the first hour of being there,
I proposed to her, you know.
She said yes.
Logic would have said wait a few days.
You never know.
The hell with logic. It felt right.
And if anything, that made the rest of the eight days
that much better.
She called her mom, told her mom.
And then I asked that I would like to meet her parents.
Probably the most nervous on the whole trip
is when I met her parents.
I love you, Bob.
I love you, too, vitalina.
So what's the next step?
It's the application process for the fianc�e visa.
Eventually, she'll have an interview with the embassy
where she'll have to provide documents.
Once you file, it's just waiting.
It's gonna be a long six months.
Hopefully it works out with us.
If it doesn't, it doesn't.
I hope it does, I think it is, but it may not.
You never know.
Two days before we got married,
I got an email that says,
my name is alexy. You do not know me,
but I'm working with svitlana for okina,
so I know her very well
and heard a lot about you,
so I want to warn you.
Svitlana works with illegal dating agency,
which by fraud lures foreigners to Ukraine
for dating beautiful women
and then takes all their money. Bleed white.
I know that you have planned a wedding in Bali.
She will fly to Bali for your money.
She will bring the borrowed wedding dress as proof.
But I can assure you the wedding will not happen.
I told svitlana about the bad email
that I got from Kiev, and she's quite shocked.
I suppose it's somebody
that don't really want her to get married.
The letter was saying, you know, I'm just a donkey,
and they'll just use me, you know.
I don't know.
I'm just very stressed out, you know.
Already I can feel it. It's building up again.
I was waiting for anything to happen, you know,
but nothing happened.
We went to the Australian embassy in denpasar
and we did the paperwork
and she was happy to do everything.
You know, I mean, she could have bailed out anytime.
She did not.
We can't get into every person's head.
We don't know their motives.
We don't know how they're going to feel
about this particular person,
how they're going to behave in that relationship.
It's all basically your responsibility.
And your responsibility is to try to build a real relationship.
We got through.
We got married and that's it.
There's a temporary visitors visa
where she can come over in a matter of three months,
and I've got to apply for that.
So tomorrow we're going our separate ways again.
How were you feeling on your way home?
Mixed feelings.
I mean, sort of good that, you know,
I met her and she was a very attractive lady.
Thinking that maybe something's going to happen,
but still had that nagging feeling
that something was wrong.
But you left thinking you were engaged.
I left thinking that we were gonna get married.
When I got back,
we were corresponding very, very frequently,
but every time I would ask her something personal,
she just never answered the question,
so it really started bothering me.
Eventually I just gave up.
I said, listen, you either gotta answer the questions
or that's it, I'm done.
I don't want to talk to you anymore.
So she sent me one final letter
saying that she was hurt, you know,
I wasn't the person she thought I was.
I was like, well, okay.
It was over.
So why did you propose to her
knowing that something was wrong?
What was I gonna lose at that point?
You don't think that he was mislead or scammed?
I don't think so, but I'm not 100% sure yet.
You know, I have my doubts.
So we removed the woman from the site.
We have taken her off.
You know, if she wasn't legit,
he still hasn't made anything right by me.
I spent thousands of dollars, you know,
just for the trip,
the letter translations and photos.
Thousands of dollars out of pocket for this.
All I can say is that we worry about us.
We worry about a foreign affair,
and we always try to do
the best we possibly can for our clients.
We always try to act ethically.
If we find a problem,
we try to work to resolve the problem.
There's always gonna be problems,
but I think the measure of the company
is how the company deals with the problems.
Well, I'm in vienna right now.
We'll be boarding here shortly, going to Odessa.
Pretty excited.
Can't wait to see you, vica.
Many people just assume
that women from other countries
are just looking to get into America for a green card.
And after money.
I believe there might be a few people out there like that.
But I think the majority of the people
that actually going through the process are fairly serious.
They're looking for love.
Hello.
Pretty!
Look what vica made me. Balloons.
Vica. Vica wash clothes.
No, no. Please, no.
I disgusting here, okay?
Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.
Well, this is my third day here with vica.
I don't know what to say.
Not quite as I expected, you know.
I thought everything would be hunky-dory,
and I think everything's gonna be all right.
I guess I...
For some reason, something just doesn't seem right,
but I think everything's gonna be all right.
I, uh...
I guess I don't know what to say.
On the last day, early in the morning,
somebody was banging on the windows.
One was a police officer.
The other one was a loan shark.
The police officer explained
that she owed 4,000,
and he said if we didn't pay it right away,
she'd have to go to jail.
And I said, well, I don't have 4,000.
He said, well, what do you have?
I said, well, I have a couple hundred bucks.
And he said, if you give us a couple hundred dollars,
we won't put her in jail.
So I just kind of agreed with him
to make sure that I would get to the airport on time.
I was hoping to formally get engaged,
but everything kind of seemed fishy,
so I decided not to.
It's 4:40 here in brisbane,
and it is 8:41 Ukraine time.
They don't really make a specific time
for me to chat on Skype,
and that's why I get tired, really tired,
because I sit long hours here, you know,
waiting for them to chat to me.
Do you feel like she's avoiding your calls at all?
- No, I don't think so. - No?
I don't think so. Uh-uh.
No, when I get through, she'll talk to me.
How long has it been since you talked to her?
Not... before the wedding.
Who's this?
Cat. It's Lisa.
My cat.
We all want to believe in something better.
We want to believe that it's for real.
We want to believe that it's gonna work out.
And so this is why they continue with that,
because they kind of have already investment and attachment.
I have a Skype appointment today.
Busy.
Busy. She's busy on the phone.
I'll try again.
I like to be in control.
I like to be in charge of a situation.
Then I know what I can do, what's my next step,
and that's how I plan my life.
And I feel like I cannot control it now
because I've got no means
of communicating with her properly.
Do you feel like you're actually married?
That's the worst part.
I don't feel like it, no,
because there's not really
a lot of communication between us.
There was no intimacy between us.
What do you mean?
No sex, nothing. Nothing.
The fianc�e visa is at least a six month process,
sometimes even eight months,
and during that time, a lot's gonna happen.
They do a criminal background check and a medical.
And they're looking for things like tuberculosis or aids,
things like that that would prevent her
from coming to the United States.
It's everything incredible.
Everything's bigger?
Bigger, yeah.
Big trucks, big houses, big supermarkets.
Big love.
Yeah.
Went to uvalde this weekend
with the main purpose of introducing inna to my family
and showing her a little bit of the town where I'm from
and getting her to actually see and experience
some of the things I've been telling her about.
- You okay? - Yes.
How did your parents feel about you coming over here?
What they think, my parents?
Yeah. Was it... I'm sure it was very hard for them.
Yeah, of course.
My mom feels sad. Very cry.
And when we were both in Ukraine,
just when we talk about this,
always cry.
And when I go, it's too much.
It was very difficult, of course.
I don't imagine that...
I didn't imagine that it was so difficult.
Oh, I was so backward.
I grew up in a very small town,
and I was scared to death of the world.
I couldn't have gone to some other country.
Anyone that would make the effort
to come to the United States
from a country like Ukraine,
it's gotta be hard.
Something really driving them to want to do that,
to leave behind their family, the home,
the only home they've known, all the familiarity.
Motivation can be either positive or negative,
and, you know, fortunately
all that I've experienced
that she's here for all the right reasons.
He's showing us that video of her family,
our families are not that much different, you know.
I can see they were doing
the same kinds of things we do
and it's kind of the same place, you know.
People are more alike than they are diverse,
so it's kind of two worlds together.
It's a very big challenge
and it will take constant work,
but so is every other relationship.
Just as you get older, you have new challenges,
but you don't expect it.
I think that people are old enough to make up their own minds,
and they should be able to decide for themselves
what they want to do with their lives.
It's their business.
I wouldn't intrude on that one way or another.
So the flags are up for Memorial Day,
which is in about a week.
I want to take a picture.
With the flags?
Yeah. Yeah. Just do it quick.
One, two, three.
One of my biggest fears
is this whole thing not working out.
To me, this is for life,
and that's what I'm certainly hoping for
and doing everything I know to see that that's how it goes.
All I can say,
I'm going to give it my best shot now.
I don't care what people say.
I'm going to give it my best fucking shot.
Even if it means to you moving to Ukraine
and fucking leave my fucking lovely life
there in Australia behind, fuck that.
I can have the same life here.
But I feel I want to be with them,
with svitlana and the kids.
That's it, and I'm gonna do it.
- Hi. - You look so beautiful.
Oh, thank you. I love you.
I love you so much.
- I love you. - I miss you.
So together forever, so together.
Together forever. Yes. Together forever.
Where you at, in Kiev?
Yes. Home tomorrow. Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow? - Yes.
- Back to nikolayev? - Yes.
So how do you feel?
What's happening today?
Today we're going to the justice of the peace
for our legal marriage.
Eric and inna. Okay, here we go.
Greetings to friends and family.
We're gathered here today
to celebrate the lives of Eric and inna,
who will now be joined in marriage.
Now, their marriage
will be the intertwining of two life stories.
As individuals, they bring to the marriage
their own unique history
as they choose to set aside the single life
and unite as one.
Eric, do you take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold,
richer or poorer, sickness and health
till death due you part?
I do.
Inna, do you take this man
to be your lawfully wedded husband,
to have, to hold, for richer, for poorer,
sickness and health, till death due you part?
- I do. - There you go.
So by virtue of the authority vested in me by law
as justice of the peace precinct 2,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Oh, that's sweet.
She's here already.
She's here. She must have started early.
You can stand a little bit.
Translator: Sorry, Michael. Please don't get offended.
It's just that I don't like the dead flowers
and I told you before that I like the live flowers...
I didn't know that...
she said I shouldn't buy her flowers,
but I never knew the reason behind it.
Translator: She had orchids on her wedding.
The wedding was decorated with orchids.
Oh, well.
It was a very beautiful...
these were very beautiful decorations
and everything was very beautiful,
but anyway, this was a big mistake.
What?
- The wedding was a mistake. - Hmm?
The wedding was a mistake.
The wedding was a mistake?
Why did she wait all this time then
to tell me only now?
She says that the only email
that she sent to you after the wedding,
actually said
that she doesn't want to continue any longer.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Mm-mm.
I actually remember that email now.
She was saying she don't know. She's very unsure of herself.
She was very unsure of herself.
That's what she was saying.
But she won't be able to be your wife,
and actually it's time to quit this interview because I don't...
no, no, no, no, it's not over yet.
Let's think about it.
No, no, let me... let me... let me...
let me explain.
You're not going anywhere
until we sorted this thing out.
If you don't like a person from the first start,
you should not get involved in relations.
Not even get married to that person.
That is totally not on
to get the person to take you to Bali,
get married to them, and then afterwards,
you just disappear, you just get quiet.
You know what, I just feel
like I've been used by her.
That's all I feel now.
And maybe that email that I got
from that alexy is right,
that you just use people like me
to just get your kicks
for a cheap holiday.
Can I have my ring back?
It's already here.
Where?
It's in the... Near the flowers.
Can I go now?
Okay. Goodbye.
It doesn't make sense, really.
So what are you going to do?
Well, get the fuck out of here.
So what else can I do, huh?
At the end of "the wizard of oz,".
Dorothy says something like this,
I've learned that if what I'm looking for
is not in my own backyard,
then I didn't need it anyway.
So I've learned some appreciation
for the women back at home.
I'm dating a woman now,
and we actually dated before I went to the Ukraine.
And then we broke up
and I think I had some areas in my life
that I needed to give on.
I think she has some that she needed to give on.
A special person like that
doesn't come around but so often.
After all this, I got depressed for a while.
It really, definitely affected me.
I sat around.
I actually went and got some bupropion
to help with that.
Finally worked through it.
Pretty much stopped trying to date,
anything like that until just recently.
I figured I might try it one more time.
This is her, huh?
Yeah. This is becka.
It's not the same as Julia.
I'm getting personal responses
and actual, you know,
it looks like someone's actually putting some thought
into the email.
Do you ever just feel like you're just writing a photo?
Yeah.
Would you say you're in love with vica?
Right now I don't know.
I thought I was,
and then...
It's this money thing.
It's completely the money.
If it wasn't for the money, there'd be no doubt.
It seems like it's gotten worse after this last trip
as far as asking for money.
I don't... I told her,
no more after this last trip.
I'm to the point I'm just fed up with it
because if we weren't going through the visa process,
there's no way I'd keep going on with it.
There was no fear of getting married
and marrying vita like, you know, the jitters,
the pre-wedding jitters.
There was none of that.
This is what I wanted
was someone to spend the rest of my life with.
Robert...
Today I give...
- My love... - My love...
- To you. - To you.
Most people think it's the guy going over there
and they pick the woman.
They're not waiting to be picked.
They want the same relationship
that every other woman wants.
They don't want just anybody.
They want someone that's right for them.
I'm a reasonable person
and he is, too.
And I always know that I need to have man
who I will respect.
It's a very good feeling
when you think... when you wake up
and think how I love here.
It's very good.
I've seen things in Eric
that I've never seen before when he's with inna.
He's always been thoughtful and kind,
but more attentive, more aware.
This year I got a mother's day email
with pictures from them.
He'd never sent a mother's day card.
Things are awakening in him
that he's never had to think of.
Your mother and father told us
about a big development.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, that is true.
What is it?
Pregnant. I'm pregnant.
About four months.
I have family, what I always imagined.
I'm so happy for him to have somebody,
somebody to be with,
somebody to do things with,
somebody to love.
You need somebody to love and to love you.
John: Guys, it'll never ever happen
just sitting on your couch,
whether you go with us or you go with someone else
or you, I don't care, get on a plane
and just go over there yourself.
Put yourself in an opportunity to meet someone.
Rob, will, everybody, thank you very much.
Yes. Thanks for having us.
And we will see you in just two weeks
with another great show. So until then, bye-bye.
What is love?
Love.
I will start to cry.
Love is when you can say
that I will just give my life for somebody.
I think that's love.
How does one find love?
I don't know.
I think you have to be lucky to find it.
You have to keep looking
and if you are lucky, you will find it.
If not, some people will never find it.
So you just need to keep looking.
� American boy �
� American joy �
� American boy �
� for always time �
� American boy �
� I'll go with you �
� there's no happiness �
� in private life �
� go through my youth �
� in vain �
� where are you, my foreign prince? �
� come quickly, I'm waiting on you �
� I'm a simple Russian girl �
� I've never been abroad �
� you're American this way �
� taking me all the things �
� American boy �
� American joy �
� American boy �
� for always time �
� American boy �
� I'll go with you �
� I'll go with you. �
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