This is the story about my father
and the summer we spent together many years ago.
It was the summer that changed my life.
♪ Your love is fading ♪
♪ I feel it fade ♪
♪ Your love is fading ♪
♪ Woman, I feel it fade ♪
♪ Ah-hh, woman ♪
♪ Woman, your touch, your touch has gone cold ♪
♪ It's as if someone else controls your very soul ♪
♪ I fooled myself ♪
♪ Long as I can ♪
♪ Can feel the presence ♪
♪ Of another man ♪
♪ It's there when you speak my name ♪
♪ It's just not the same ♪
♪ Ooh, babe ♪
♪ I'm losing you ♪
♪ It's in the air ♪
♪ It's there everywhere ♪
♪ Baby, baby, babe ♪
♪ I'm losing you. ♪
Later on in the show, I'm gonna wash it out
right in front of you so you can see how it looks.
Burger Maker, the ingenious kitchen gadget
that lets you stuff, stuff, stuff your way
to the best tasting burgers ever.
Thanks to the upper wind. The upper wind pattern right now
is warmer through the middle part of the country,
and by the weekend it'll continue to add this bulge of high pressure
right through the midsection of the U.S.
That'll keep the warm air coming from the west.
Our temperature's above normal
probably through the beginning of next week.
Coming to bed?
In a minute.
Are you crying?
No.
Babe.
You're crying.
This weather make you sad?
I don't know what it is.
Everything just makes me cry lately.
Maybe I have high blood pressure.
I don't think you have high blood pressure.
Driving down the street today, I see this guy
buying his little boy a snow cone,
you know, from the back of a truck
and I start blubbering like a baby. I had to pull over.
Maybe you're thinking about your son.
I mean, he's graduating high school tomorrow.
It's not like he's going off to war.
No, but he's getting to that age.
It's an adjustment.
I'll say.
You've been a great dad to him, Al.
And you always will be.
I have an idea.
Why don't I come over next weekend
and I can cook dinner for the three of us
and get to finally meet the legendary Freddy Klein?
Yeah, maybe.
"Yeah, maybe"?
What am I doing wrong here?
You're not doing anything wrong.
Then why can't we be together? I mean, really together?
Linda, you are...
come on, don't do that.
Don't do this.
Who the hell is calling at this time of night?
Oh, I wonder.
- Hello. - Hey, Al.
We have a little situation here at the lot.
What are you doing at the lot?
My TV crashed. I wanted to catch the game.
Anyway, there's a young man here...
what's your name?
- Jason. - Jason what?
- Sanders. - His name is Jason Sanders.
Any relation to Phil Sanders at B of A?
No.
Jason here tried to boost the silver Mustang
we traded in last month.
Luckily, I was here to catch his felonious ass.
- Did you call the cops? - No, I did not call the police.
I wanted to talk to you first.
- Well, what do you think? - I don't know yet.
What?
Well, no, I don't like the fact this keeps happening
any more than you do.
Yes, he is trespassing.
What, you mean like in the leg?
Mister, let's not get crazy here.
Okay? Come on.
I'll do anything to make this right, I promise.
He says he'll do anything to make it right.
I'll be right down.
Get in the back, Pretty Boy Floyd.
You make me nervous.
We think that Herman's been washed out to sea.
So what's the problem?
Ash, we've got to fix that clock.
This is classic.
Am I interrupting anything?
Yeah, Herman's getting the shit beat out of him tonight.
What's with the gun?
Good, isn't it? It looks real.
Oh, thank God.
I know you.
You were here the other day with your friends.
- Yeah. - He was driving a BMW.
What are you doing trying to steal a car from us?
Mister, I wasn't going to keep the car, okay?
I swear. I was just going to drive it around for a couple hours.
Why?
My friends dared me to do it. This whole thing was just a goof.
It's a "goof."
My son goofed like that, I'd put my foot up his ass.
You ever been to prison, Jason?
No.
Let me see your wallet.
I don't have any money.
- Call the police. - Okay, here you go.
Who is Dr. William Sanders?
It's my father.
Mr. Martini, call in a $6,500 approval
while I do Mr. Sanders' paperwork.
I'm sorry, what?
6,500? That's a very good price.
You know, I got a soft spot for troubled youths.
You guys can't do this. This is my father's credit card.
I'm not allowed to use it except for emergencies.
Mr. Sanders, if you do not consider grand theft auto
an emergency, then you live one wild life.
This is gonna bring you and your father much closer together.
It really will, trust me.
Yeah, I'd like an authorization, please.
I'm sorry, what exactly are you guys doing?
Selling you a car.
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
That exhaust system under warranty?
Not that I'm aware of.
What time we got to be at graduation tomorrow?
Noon.
Should I wear a sport coat? Suit? What should I wear?
What is it with... I got to dress you now?
Wear whatever you want.
Al, you know what I realized about you after all these years?
You got a lousy disposition.
Let's go to Casa Rio, grab a drink.
Good night, Ash.
It's ladies' night.
Good sale.
Yes, it was.
Why did they want him to sleep outside in a tent?
This I do not understand. It's stupid.
Pete. Pete. They're Scouts.
That's what Boy Scouts do, they go camping.
Why? There's no bathroom. There's snakes over there.
Costas, hey. Give him the dolmade,
don't give him the spanakopita. Come on.
Hey, come on, guys. Let's go, chop chop.
We got people waiting to get to work here.
I like your pocket thingy.
Oh, well, thank you. Yes.
It's what I like to call the "finishing touch."
Just got this one in. Less than 30,000 miles on it.
Mint condition. New paint job.
If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.
My name is Al.
I'm one of the owners. You deal with me directly.
Yes, they do.
He's not eating, Mother.
There's something wrong with him.
No, I don't want to wait until the weekend.
I can't.
Will you please just take him to the vet this afternoon?
Emergency.
Yes, I will reimburse you.
I know I still owe you for the marshmallows.
- Diamond Motors. - I've got to go.
I'm so sorry about that, Mr. Martini.
Oh, I made those cookies for you and Mr. Klein.
And they're sugar-free.
Did you process the paperwork I put on your desk last night?
Oh, you left paperwork?
Yeah.
The Mustang? We sold it last night.
I didn't see anything.
It's... it'd be right here.
I don't use my in-box.
I'm afraid I would rely on it too much.
Just process the car, Gail.
- Okay. - Thanks.
- Mr. Martini. - Yeah?
Do you think that I might be able to leave a little bit early today
because I think my cat might be dying?
No.
♪ Oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum ♪
♪ Boogum, now, baby, you're casting your spell on me... ♪
- May I sit in, please? - By all means.
Al, Al, hey. What are you doing?
Showing these nice people a car.
No, no, no. I got someone coming by this afternoon to buy it.
Who?
It's a doctor from Beverly Hills. He wants it for his kid.
I'm sorry, folks. I can't sell you the car.
Why not?
Did this doctor leave a deposit?
No.
Well, did he sign anything?
- Al, he really wants the car. - Ash.
- I... - I...
- Come on. - Hey, I'm sorry.
A little oil will fix that right up. That's nothing.
Slide on in there.
Can I start the engine, please?
- I'm sorry? - Can I start the engine?
Yes, by all means. There you go.
May I?
This is nothing.
It's just a loose wire. Excuse me.
Barlow!
I'm gonna have my mechanic take a look at it
and I guarantee you he's gonna fix this up
in about two minutes' time.
Barlow, I think we have a little ignition issue here.
Can you take a look?
It'll just take a second, folks.
I thought you told me this car was ready to roll.
Barlow...
have you been drinking?
Yes, Mr. Klein, I have.
It's 10:00 in the morning. What's going on?
I come to my house last night and my wife is not there.
She goes to her mother and she takes my little Manolo with her.
She say I don't make her happy no more.
Shh, okay.
Look, I understand that you're upset.
But we can't do anything about your wife at this moment.
Wouldn't you agree with that?
Barlow. Barlow. You can't do this right now.
You've got to pull yourself together.
Barlow, you can't...
Figured it out. Just what I thought.
It's a loose wire. We'll have it done in a second.
Listen to me.
Sometimes things break down.
Right?
And we don't just sit around and mope, we fix 'em.
You're a fixer.
Now if you can get this car to run,
you can get your wife back.
You really think so?
I know so.
- Try it now. - Try it now.
There we go.
Loose wire, just like I thought.
- Cash? - She reaches into her purse,
she pulls out a stack of hundys this thick.
Outstanding. What'd we clear on that car? A G?
A little less. Had to throw in some floor mats,
which we're out of, so call Jerry.
I'll call Jerry.
So guess what I got the kid for graduation.
I don't know.
A bond.
A bond?
Yeah, a bond.
A bond.
What?
Nothing. It's terrific. I'm sure he'll love it.
- What'd you get him? - Just this.
Had it engraved.
It's nice. Is that a Rolex?
No, it's not a Rolex. Why you busting my stones?
Now I feel bad about buying the kid a bond.
Don't feel bad about it. I'm sure it'll mature when he's 80.
He'll be able to buy medication with it.
A cane. New teeth.
Hey, cowboy, slow down. We got time.
I'm required to go to one high school graduation in my life.
I am not going to be late.
Excuse me, miss. Where's everyone going?
- The graduation's over. - No, it's not.
- It starts at noon. - It started at 9:00.
- Al. - What?
Come on.
I still can't believe she lets that wandering monkey
put his hands up her skirt.
Al, how are you?
- Hi, Chicky. - Martini.
Where's Fred?
Where were you?
We were in the back.
Were you really here?
Would I miss my only kid's high school graduation?
We were here, Barb.
Wasn't it wonderful seeing him get his diploma?
It was incredible.
Well, I've got to get back to the office, so...
I'm not rushing out of here, Chick.
- If you want to go, go. - If you want to stay, we'll stay.
- So where's Fred? - With his friends.
It's graduation.
Still hustling cars out there in the Valley?
- Yeah, we're in Covina. - Don't play his game, Al.
What game is that?
You're a Century City stockbroker
bilking old ladies out of their piggy bank money.
First of all, I don't bilk anyone.
Second of all, I'm a venture capitalist, not a stockbroker.
- You're a stockbroker. - Al.
- You're an idiot. - Ash, shut up.
- Nice pinkie ring. - Who are you?
- There he is.
Hey!
Hey, you made it.
- Mr. Martini! - Buddy boy!
Where were you guys? I didn't see you anywhere.
- We were in the back. - Congratulations.
- Look at that. - Oh, thank you, Martini.
Well, let's open that later. Give Mom a kiss.
Here you go, Fred. Congratulations.
It's from your mother and me.
- Whoa. - It's a Julian Jacquard.
- The finest watch in the world. - It's unreal.
It's what a Rolex wants to be when it grows up.
Huh?
Yeah.
Thanks, Mom.
Well, it was Chick's idea. I thought it was a little much.
He deserves it. He did great.
- You did great, Fred. - Thanks.
Ash, can you take a picture of the three of us?
Uh, which three?
- Freddy. - Big smiles, everybody.
Come on, Chicky, smile.
Don't act like you got a pine cone up your ass.
- Just take the picture, all right? - There you go. There you go.
Al, would you like a photo?
Yeah, that'd be great.
- Hey, Martini. Get in here. - What? What?
- You sure? - Yeah, you in the middle.
- What's this? - Put that on.
Let me wear that. All right.
Hey, bud, you been laid yet?
- I think so. - What does that mean?
- I don't know. - Oh, you'll know.
Smile.
Avi Mendelson, how are you?
Oh, our mistake.
A shaygets who eats creamed herring. What's the world coming to?
That's what they feed them on their farm.
Can you be Amish and Jewish?
I don't know.
Anyway, judgment came up on the TRW.
Lou's not gonna do the deal unless he can slice 20% off the top.
- He's nuts. - What'd you do?
He's the only game in town. I took the deal.
You have a vagina, right?
- She's at her mother's. - Nice.
Hey, Martini. What's with quiet boy over here?
I'm fine.
Cheeseburger to go, please.
- Go shtupp yourself, Lennie. - With what?
I'll bring you a bologna. It might be big enough.
Throw some coleslaw on that.
Bologna and coleslaw for the assholes.
- Hello. - Hey, it's me.
Freddy's not back yet, Al.
Yeah, I'm not looking for Freddy.
Is everything all right?
You sure looked pretty today, Barb.
Thank you, Al.
Let's have dinner tonight.
Mr. Klein, I am Mrs. Barnett.
Come on, come on. We'll go downtown.
I'll break out my silk shirt.
You put on your high heels. We'll have a great time.
Well, that's a hell of an offer,
but Chick really hates it when I date.
It's not a date. Come on. My son just graduated high school.
As concerned parents, we need to talk about his future.
My other line is ringing.
- Let it ring. - I have to go.
If it's important, they'll call back.
Why are you doing this to me?
Why did you call, Al?
Does Chick still tell you how pretty you look?
I'm sorry, Barb. I shouldn't have called.
It was dumb of me to...
Freddy?
Freddy.
- Hey, Dad. - The graduate.
Hey, I'm glad you're here.
What's up?
I wanted to talk to you about something.
- Anything wrong? - Uh...
I don't want to go to Cal Poly.
Okay. Where do you want to go?
I want to work at the car lot.
And do what?
Are you gonna follow Barlow around with a wrench?
I want to be a salesman.
Okay, I'm listening.
Didn't you always tell me
that what you need to get by in this world
you don't learn from a book?
I did.
Well, I'm sick of school. I want to live in the real world.
Don't they like college degrees in the real world?
Not always. It depends on what you do.
- Is that a fact? - Mmmmm.
You talk to your mother about this?
I wanted to talk to you first.
So? What do you think?
I think I'm gonna make you a sandwich.
I'm serious, Dad.
I guess I just always assumed
that you would to go college
and do something a whole lot bigger and better than what I did.
I thought you did great, Dad.
I'd be proud if I grew up to be like you.
I was thinking
maybe I could move in with you.
We could make up for a lot of lost time.
Well, look.
Even if I do say yes,
your mom's not gonna go along with this.
I mean, she hates...
with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns...
hates what I do for a living.
I don't care.
This is what I want to do, okay?
I'm gonna tell her tonight if you say yes.
Come on, Dad.
One little yes is all it takes.
Yeah?
If you think that I'm going to let our son throw away his life
to become a peddler, well, it's not gonna happen, Al.
- Barb. - Chick, here, you talk to him.
I don't want to talk to Chick.
Oh, please don't put me in the middle of...
Al, if the kid wants a job, he can come and work for me.
- That's not the point. - Blow it out your ass, Chick.
What?
He wants me to blow it out my ass.
Barb, it's not a good idea.
Been here for 16 years, Al.
You might want to unpack some of this stuff.
What are you talking about?
That's the high quality gifts we give away
every time you buy a used car from Diamond Motors.
- Very nice. - How would you like a four-ply mop?
I'm good.
Still angry?
Just tired.
Yeah?
I may have been a little upset last night.
Yeah.
Look, just so you know, I didn't say yea or boo to him.
I said it's his life and whatever he wanted to do,
it's fine, he just had to have your support.
Come on. Buy an old nag some breakfast.
Sure, where's the old nag?
Always said it. You're the best salesman in town, Klein.
I never heard you say that.
Thanks.
Soup today is the spiced pumpkin.
Thank you.
How'd you find this place?
The food's good, Al. You'll like it.
Guess my world's pretty small, isn't it?
Well, there is life beyond the deli if you ever care to venture out.
Ready to order?
Yes, I'll have the cafe latte and an almond croissant.
And for you, sir?
These are eggs?
Yes, they're baked in anisette
with a very light tomato puree on top.
Ah.
Okay, I'll have the eggs.
But instead of baking them, just scramble them up.
Nothing on top. Rye toast. Cup of coffee.
Sure. Okay.
- I like this place. - I'm glad.
What are we gonna do about our son, Al?
Meaning what?
Don't get defensive. I didn't come here to fight with you.
I'm not defensive. I'm listening.
I just feel...
it's important at this point...
I mean, he's still a teenager...
It's important to steer him clear of disaster if possible.
And by disaster you mean working with his father?
No, look, I think it would be great if he came to work with you.
In the summer or during Christmas vacation, but...
I want him to go to college. It's important.
Don't you want that, too?
I want you to know
it means a lot to me that we can sit down and talk like this
without raised voices.
It means that we do have Freddy's best interests at heart.
But we also both know that I still have feelings for you
and I get the sense that you're trying to take advantage of that.
- I don't like it. - Oh, Jesus, Al.
What is not in our son's best interest
is for him to throw away his education to hustle used cars.
"Hustle." Did you rehearse that one with Chick?
It's got his ring to it.
If I were you, I would leave Chick out of this.
Gladly. Look, the kid doesn't want to go to college.
What are we supposed to do, force him?
No, but I'm certainly not going to make it easy for him
by giving him free room and board and a dead-end job.
I see these kids who go to college.
They smoke dope, they drink beer,
they screw each other for four years on their parents' dime.
You want to talk about having it easy.
- That is not Freddy. - I know, he wants to work.
That's good.
I'm sure God is just having one big old belly laugh right now.
I did everything that I could
to make sure he had stability in his life.
And what does he do? Decides to become a car salesman.
That's... that's just perfect.
Look, Barb, 18-year-olds decide a lot of things.
It's up for review every other day.
If he ends up like you, Al, I will hang myself.
I really will.
No offense.
But people care about what they put into their bodies, Pete.
It's not just me.
I think you'd get a whole lot more customers
if you had a wider variety of things like legumes,
root vegetables, stuff like that. Grain.
Keep that in mind, Pete. Legumes and root vegetables.
Oh! No, I'm serious.
I think if you provided a healthy option for people,
it'd be really good for your business.
Where you been?
Oh, eh.
Freddy doesn't want to go to college.
- Well, who needs college? - You think?
Because he wants to work here.
Could be good for him, right?
Real-life experience, stuff like that.
Sure. What's the ex think?
Wow. What do you think?
- Hey, as long as he earns. - Absolutely.
- No handouts. - I'm all for it.
I love the kid, you know that.
Okay.
You know what the best part is? He's gonna live with me.
After all these years. It's great, right?
That's super. That's super, Al.
It is super.
Thank you.
I cannot tell you how disappointed I am.
- I cannot tell you. - Well, then don't.
- Watch your mouth, son. - I'm not your son.
Listen to me, Freddy.
You don't get these years back.
Being 18, going to college,
having no responsibilities...
it's a great time in your life.
Yeah, I can't wait.
Yeah, dipshit fraternity guys. Football games. Rah, rah.
Can't wait, Mom. It's gonna be fun.
Just out of curiosity, Fred,
what's it gonna be like working at a used car lot?
I'm gonna learn how to sell.
From your dad?
That's right.
Hmm.
Alberta, this meat's a little rare.
Sorry, Mr. Barnett.
Just put it back on the grill for just a minute.
Yes, sir.
Take a look around, Fred.
This house, the things in it.
The view of the ocean.
Pretty nice, isn't it?
Chick.
What? He's old enough to handle some straight talk.
If he isn't, he needs to learn.
How about your dad?
Does he have any of these things?
If I'm not mistaken, he's still living in a shoe box
out there in the Valley, right?
Pretty pathetic for a man his age, don't you think?
He did not mean that.
I promise you he did not mean that.
I'll never understand why you traded in Dad for this jerk.
I don't care how many nice things he buys you.
♪ Hello, sunshine ♪
♪ It's been a long ♪
♪ A long time ♪
♪ To see your face ♪
♪ I feel so hopeful. ♪
What is that?
It's a Chevy Impala with a 350 small block.
Wrong.
- Does it have a smaller engine? - No, it's a 350.
- It's definitely an Impala. - Then why are you wrong?
I don't know.
Come on, buddy boy.
What is that?
It's a car.
I don't know what you want me to say.
Yeah, it's a car, but what else is it?
- What else? - That's a story.
It's got four doors. It's great for carpools.
2,000 pounds of metal surrounding you.
- Very safe for the little ones. - Yeah.
- It's made in America. - "Buy this car, be a patriot."
- It's made in Japan. - "More bang for your buck."
Okay, all right. I get it.
So tell us, what is it?
It's a place to take your girl if you live with your parents.
Put a little "tuck and roll" under her ass.
We are not selling valves and pistons.
We're selling a better life.
You buy this car, you get laid.
- You get respect. - At a price you can afford.
But what if I can't afford it?
Sir, I'm glad you asked me that.
With no money down, you can drive this car off the lot today.
No money down?
You don't pay a penny until January.
Wow. I'll take it.
You getting this, kid?
I think so.
Al...?
- I like it. - Huh? Like what?
What are we liking here? What's going on?
That one's not for you there, amigo. You can't afford that one.
Keep going.
- Going? - Keep going.
Going where? Where's he going?
- What's happening? - Settle.
- There you go. - There you are.
Park Avenue Buick. That's the car for you.
Where's Martini going?
You have to be able to size up a customer in the first 10 seconds.
- How do you do that? - From the outside in.
What's he wearing?
- He's got brown pants. - With stains on them.
He's a slob. What else?
T-shirt, tennis shoes.
- Probably got holes in them. - What is that in your ear?
Not a big spender, is he?
Al, when's the last time he took a shower?
A shower? Wait, what?
- Tuesday. - How would you know that?
'Cause Tuesday's the first of the month.
That's when government checks come out.
This guy clearly doesn't have a job. He's gaming the system.
Showered, got dressed, took the check to the bank,
cashed it and went down to the two-four poker tables
in Gardena where he has been ever since.
Might even have made a few bucks.
I agree. That's probably why he's in the market for a car.
He sold his last one to pay off his gambling debts.
This yutz couldn't get credit from his mother.
Strictly a cash deal.
- What are you doing? - What? I can't hear you.
- What is happening right now? - You're buying a car.
- I'm buying a car? - You're buying this car.
What?
Yeah, this one's got the fuel-injected 3.8.
I'm just looking, pal. Thank you.
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
I said I'm just looking.
You just look all you want.
New headers. New gauges.
New air shocks.
This baby's clean.
- She have a warranty? - I'm sorry, what?
Warranty. Does this vehicle have a warranty?
Oh, well, you can buy one.
But it's a Buick Park Avenue. A warhorse.
Comfortable, huh?
- How much? - I'm sorry. Say again.
How much? What's the price of this vehicle?
Oh, you know, I don't even know what he's got it marked at.
Al! How much for the Park Avenue?
4,200.
2,200.
So, just to be clear,
$2,200 gets me this car?
I don't know. Make me an offer, we'll see.
2,200?
Great. Let's go write it up.
You know what? Do you mind if we just bypass all that risk business?
I was kind of hoping I could just give you the cash
and you give me the pinks and I could just take off.
You know, I'm just kind of in a rush, so...
Well, we usually like to clean the cars up for the customer.
Not even necessary.
- No? - No.
You got a deal.
Let's make a deal.
Our cost on that car was 900 bucks.
Is that even legal?
What do you mean legal? It's what we do.
He got himself a good car, we made a profit.
Everybody's happy.
What you reading?
A car magazine.
I'm just trying to get a feel for everything.
What kind of feel?
Well, I'm just worried, you know, like,
what if a customer asks me
a question about the car I can't answer?
So you ask Barlow.
I hope I can do this.
Trust me, you can. It's not brain surgery.
You just small talk the customer. You get him to like you.
You ask about their kids, their favorite sports team.
You know, I watched you and Martini out there.
The stuff you come up with,
it's like you're speaking a foreign language.
We've been doing it a long time.
It's more than that. You guys are like geniuses.
Trust me, we're not. We're hungry.
We close deals or we don't eat.
Coming to bed?
Yeah.
- Hey, Dad. - Mmmmm?
Where'd you get all these paintings?
Friend of mine helped me pick them out.
Hmm. Friend?
What's her name?
Linda.
When am I gonna meet your "friend" Linda?
Mmm.
Good night.
Hey, Dad.
Why'd you and Mom get divorced?
Any time I ask her, she always pretends she doesn't hear me.
Maybe you should stop asking her.
Come on, Dad.
I'm 18 years old. I can handle it.
I was the only kid in my school
that didn't know why their parents split up.
Sit down.
Um...
Okay.
After your mom and I got married,
Martini and I bought Diamond Motors.
The first few years were pretty tough.
I mean, there would be days,
sometimes weeks where we wouldn't even sell a single car.
And that made your mom very nervous
not knowing when the next dollar was coming in
or even if there was a next dollar.
It's the life of a salesman, you know?
It's not for everybody.
Anyway, you were born.
Happiest day of my life.
And, you know, things were just really bad.
And so your mom had to...
go out and get a part-time job.
Mom worked?
Come on, tell me.
So she got hired as a personal assistant
to a man named Chick Barnett.
Whoa.
And it didn't take him long to fall in love with her.
She was a very beautiful woman.
She still is a very beautiful woman.
She had an affair?
- And chose Chick? - No.
Listen to me.
She chose you.
Your mom, she needed security.
She needed stability and that was just something
that Chick was able to provide for her
at a time when I couldn't.
So she was able to stay home with you.
She was able to take care of you, send you to the best schools.
How can you defend her after what she did to you?
Look, I'm not defending her, but she raised you right
and so I cut her some slack.
I mean, come on, look at you.
You're a masterpiece.
Dad, it's not funny. It's messed up.
I'm just saying it's not all her fault.
How is it not her fault? She had an affair, Dad.
Sometimes life is complicated, Freddy,
and they're not good guys and bad guys.
It just is what it is.
Hmm.
You mean sometimes shitty.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's really shitty.
Sometimes it's miraculous.
I mean, look at us.
We're living together. Working together.
Who knew?
- You okay? - Mmmmm.
I love you.
Me, too.
- Good night. - Night.
Morning, folks. How we doing today?
Hi.
Me llamo Al.
Hi.
Carlos?
Hi, Maria. No hablo español.
Barlow!
Carlos, Maria. Barlow.
It's a cool hat.
Do you have any children?
What the hell are you talking about?
Kids.
Well, I'm Freddy. I'm around if you need me.
Just holler at me.
Cool.
Hey, bro. We buying a car?
That's a great shirt. Hawaii, right?
I got one, too. I got it at the mall. You get it at the mall?
I think this might be a little big for you two.
You two are meant for each other.
You like the car, huh?
Can I get your number?
Perfect.
Papito!
Ma'am, if you buy this car today,
I am going to throw in an 8x10 color glossy of my partner Al
sitting by the pool in a Speedo at Caesar's Palace.
And if you don't buy this car today,
same photo, same Speedo, of my good friend Ash.
And trust me, you don't want that.
Same Speedo? Really?
This one just came in.
Classic, huh?
You hungry? We got the grill going.
Cool.
Awesome.
Well, what do you think?
I like it.
- I'm just not... - Just not what?
I just don't think I'm ready to buy this truck today.
Why not?
I just think I need to think about it a little more.
You know, that's probably a good idea.
This is a big decision.
You shouldn't buy anything unless you're absolutely ready.
Well, thank you for your time, young man.
You're welcome, ma'am. It was very nice meeting you.
It's too bad you're gonna miss our offer, though.
What...
what offer is that?
We're giving away a free George Foreman Grill
with every car we sell today.
What model? Black or platinum?
Platinum, of course.
God.
Okay, okay, let's do it.
I'll go start up the paperwork.
I did it. I did it. I totally did it.
Congratulations, punk. You popped your cherry.
Whoo!
- One, two, three. - Ooh!
Look at that stinky mess.
This is just to show you that I don't care what you're doing.
- All right. - I'm in.
How's the shiksa?
The one who works here. What's her name again?
- You mean Gail? - Yeah.
I don't know. She's fine. Why?
You given her the high hard one yet?
Have I given her the high hard... what is "high hard one"?
- That mean banging her? - Yes, it means banging her.
Why don't you ask if I'm banging her?
Enlighten me. I'm a polite man.
Hey, hey! It's the shtarker.
This one got pooped on. Should I...
- Did you shit on that sign again? - No, sonny.
- Should you what? - Throw it out.
Throw it out? No. You clean it. It's bird shit.
Hey, kid, congratulations.
Old man said you made your first sale.
- You're on your way, pal. - Hey, yeah.
Just remember one thing. People are shit.
That's words to live by. Remember that.
- Remember that. - Oh, that's wisdom.
The only job my son wants is a blowjob.
Freddy wants a blowjob, too. Lennie, blow him.
- In a minute. In a minute. - I'm out.
- Aw! - In five.
See you, boys.
- Where you going? - I'm gonna take the kid out.
- Where to? - "Where to?"
- Casa Rio. - Ho-ho!
Bring a rubber. You're gonna see a lot of low-mileage pit woofie tonight.
Kid, just remember the five Fs...
find 'em, feel 'em, fuck 'em, and forget 'em.
- You idiot. - That's four.
- Find 'em, feel 'em... - That's four.
- Yeah, well, what's the fifth? - Finger 'em?
- Finger 'em. - Yeah, I'll finger 'em.
I can't believe you're friends with these guys.
- How do you think I feel? - See you later.
- All right, be good. - I fold.
You forgot to roll that thing over your ball sack.
You are a class act. Seriously. That's good stuff.
Shouldn't shit on that sign, though, seriously.
♪ Listen ♪
♪ I want to tell y'all something y'all doing ♪
♪ But you just don't know it, baby ♪
♪ You're doing it ♪
♪ Lord have mercy ♪
♪ Doing it, yeah ♪
♪ Doing it ♪
♪ Yes, you are... ♪
Yes, yes.
I see some future Mrs. Martinis in here tonight.
Kid'll take a ginger ale.
- Were you ever married, Martini? - I was, yeah. Yeah.
I was 19. A long time ago.
What happened?
Well, there was this cute little Irish Catholic girl
in Flint, Michigan. Joanne McGrath.
Used to live with her folks.
Her dad would get drunk every night and try to kill me.
- Why? - I don't know.
It's an Irish thing.
They think everyone's out to screw them.
They're a tough sell.
- Speaking of which... - Ah, cheers.
Great sale today. Hey, your dad's proud of you.
- So am I. - I think I can do this.
Think you can? You did it. You're a closer.
Yeah, baby.
So what happened with the Irish lass?
The Irish lass, yeah.
Well, she came home one night
and told me she was in love with another man.
- What? - God.
God?
She became a medical missionary. Went off to Pakistan.
- I think she's still there. - So she's, like, a nun?
Me and Jesus,
the only two men she ever wanted.
And I got there first.
- Ah, you're "B.C." - Mmm.
Two balls, two strikes.
Warner into the wind.
Up to bat he comes. It's up and away.
It's Linda. Please leave a message after the beep.
Hey, Linda, it's me.
How are you, sweetie?
It's been a while.
Just thinking about you.
Wanted to wish you a happy birthday.
I know it's not until next month, but why wait till the last minute?
So, okay. Bye.
She's just sitting there, you know?
I don't know what's going on. I think she's gonna back out, right?
Bam, she signs the contract, hands me the check.
I give her keys. I swear to God, Martini, it was like...
- 3:00. - Hmm? What, this guy?
Not my 3:00. Your 3:00.
Oh.
- Much better. - Yeah. You ready?
Ready for what?
We're gonna go talk to them.
They're a little old for me, don't you think?
They're not a little old for me.
- What if they don't like us? - Their loss.
Should I talk first or should you?
Just follow my lead.
Ladies, I just want to let you know
that I'm a big, big fan.
Me, too. Whew.
Of?
This whole look... the hair, the dress.
It's just...
stunning.
- Really? - Yeah.
Ward robe says a lot about a person.
And what does it say about me?
I'm gonna tell you in a second.
I'm Ash Martini. This is young Frederick.
Fred's good. Just call me Fred.
Could we buy you ladies a drink?
Sure.
You okay there? Yeah? You all right there?
Yeah. Yeah.
Fred here had a really rough day.
Yeah, he's a fireman.
Yeah, works for the fire department.
And they just put out a big, huge blaze down in Long Beach.
- Really? - Yeah.
Fred single-handedly rescued three...
- it was four. Yeah. - Four?
There was a baby.
- You saved a baby's life? - I was just doing my job.
Wow.
How long have you been a fireman?
Oh, just over a year now.
You seem so young.
No, it's good genes, I guess.
He works out.
- Me, too. - I can tell.
- Can you? - Yes, I can.
Hello?
Mmm. Hi, Al.
Hey, Barb. Everything all right?
Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.
Can I talk to Freddy?
He's not back yet.
Oh, yeah. Out with friends?
Uh, no. He went out with Martini.
Okay. Will you tell him I called?
Will do. Bye.
Where did they go?
Casa Rio.
He went to a sleazy singles bar with Martini?
- It's a restaurant, Barb. - No, I know what Casa Rio is.
It's not an appropriate place for an 18-year-old boy.
I'm not gonna argue with you about it.
If you want to talk to him, go right ahead.
No, no. You're right. I shouldn't interfere.
This whole thing has just been so hard on me.
I just can't seem to let go.
Sorry to hear that.
Maybe I should talk to someone about it, you know?
Like a psychologist or...
What do you think, Al?
I think you should talk about it with your husband.
Yeah.
Chick's in London for the week, so...
Yeah? He didn't take you with him?
What is that supposed to mean?
Uh, it's a question.
No, you're trying to dig.
You're just like a little ferret
trying to dig through the dirt to come up with something.
Well, you can just stop, Al.
Everything's great between Chick and me.
I'm happy to hear that.
Okay, so I'll tell Freddy you called.
Well...
how is he? How is Freddy?
He's doing great.
Does he miss me?
I'm sure he does, yeah.
Well, he doesn't call.
I'll have him call you first thing in the morning, okay?
Thank you, Al, for being so patient.
- You're a good man. - I thought I was a ferret.
There really is so much about you that I like and admire and...
I'm gonna shut up.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Good night.
Good night, Barb.
So what do you think?
I'd want more than 90 days warranty on a rebuilt engine.
Rebuilt means it's like new. 90's the best I can do.
Not good enough.
With all due respect, sir, I don't think you're ready to buy a car.
And that's okay. You should probably go home
and think about it a little bit more.
What did you say?
You can't discuss your money, pal. You just drove in this car.
You've practically done a cavity search on it.
If you need someone to convince you that this is still a good deal,
then you're obviously not interested in buying a car,
in which case you're wasting both of our time.
I'll tell you what. If I buy this car
and it breaks down on me two days after the warranty expires,
I'll come back and I'll kick your ass.
Okay.
And if it doesn't and you drive it for another 100,000 miles,
can I come to your place and kick your ass?
Write it up.
I think it's gonna need a new transmission, Mr. Freddy.
Look, I don't care about any of that.
If the car doesn't start, I can't sell it.
It's real simple, Barlow.
I'm sorry, Mr. Freddy.
- It won't happen again. - It better not.
What was that about?
The Pinto stalls every time I'm trying to take it out for a test drive.
It's embarrassing. Barlow can't fix shit.
Barlow's been with me for 16 years.
He can fix anything. Respect that.
Cool.
Barlow, fan belt on the Continental,
please, when you get a chance. Thank you.
Look, Dad, I got a few ideas about the business
- I want to talk to you about. - Yeah?
I think we should stay open nights.
We'd sell at least three more cars a week.
- Three? Really? - We do some slasher sales.
You know, like weekend clearance sales.
- I know what a slasher sale is. - We should move inventory.
Be a volume business. Get more cars, have more on the lot.
- Costs too much. - We'll borrow money from the bank.
- I already looked into it. - We're not borrowing money.
- Why not? - Then you got to pay it back.
Money's cheap, Dad. Rates are low.
We can also buy cars from Canada.
With the conversion rate, we'd save at least 15% of our costs.
Where'd you learn that?
Chick used to talk to me about that kind of stuff.
Look, all I'm saying is we can't grow if we don't spend money, right?
- Not looking to grow. - Why not?
'Cause it took us years to establish what we got.
It works. I don't want to get greedy.
Oh, Dad, don't play it so safe. Let's make some dollars.
Just think about it, all right? I got this guy.
I love this car.
So he gets out and stands there with this stupid little baseball cap
and just stares at the car for, like, a full minute.
So I finally say, "Hey, Gomer. Are you a Dodgers fan?
You buy this car right now, I'll throw in two tickets
behind the first base dugout, game of your choice."
I swear to God, it was like I was offering him pussy.
- Good night. - Night.
Bottom line, people are shit.
Yeah, they'll fall for anything.
We used to have this scam in Youngstown, Ohio.
We'd buy a painting. It could be anything,
like a boat or a landscape, it didn't matter.
We would cut it out of the frame, roll it up,
put it in the trunk of the car, and then we'd drive
to some out-of-the-way bar or restaurant.
And we'd try to get the owner to come out and take a look at it.
We had the whole act.
We'd talk to him real hush-hush.
We'd look over our shoulder like we're worried about the police.
Really made him think the painting was hot.
- Like stolen? - And we had to get rid of it.
Yeah, for, like, 800, 900 bucks.
How much did the painting actually cost?
- Oh, $50, tops. - Seriously?
So this guy thought he was buying a stolen Picasso for next to nothing?
- That's right. - People are shit.
- Stop saying that. - Hmm?
Stop saying that people are shit.
You don't need to talk that way.
I didn't mean anything by it.
It just hit me the wrong way.
Freddy, tell the boys
about that little honey you were hitting on the other night.
- Oh, yeah. - You mean at Casa Rio?
Oh, yeah. Kid's got some moves.
- She was a babe. - No, she was beyond babe.
She was like...
You all right? You having a stroke?
- Should I call 911? - I'm just saying...
Yeah, that sounds good. Let's make it 6:00 at the latest.
All right. Good deal, Mikey. Thanks much. Bye.
Mr. Klein.
I was just wondering...
You can't go home early today, Gail.
No, that's not what I was gonna ask.
I know I've just worked here for a couple of months
and I'm still sort of learning the system.
I didn't know we had a system.
Well, I don't know if you know, but I live with my mother.
You've told me that many times.
- She's on disability. - I know.
- It's less than $800 a month. - Mmmmm.
No, wait a minute. I'm lying. It might be a wee bit more than 800,
but it's definitely no more than $900 a month.
- Is there a question here, Gail? - Yes. Yes, there is. Sorry.
I just want you to know
that I'm actually gonna get really, really good at this job.
So cream and sugar, just like you like it.
- I drink it black. - Oh.
So, I was just thinking, what better way
to motivate someone to get really good at their job
than by paying them more than the minimum wage?
Are you asking for a raise?
Well, I suppose if you had to label it...
- Have you processed that Toyota? - I was just about to do it.
- Now would be a good time. - Okay.
Did you give me the paperwork for the Toyota?
Yeah.
- The fish keep biting. - The Chevelle?
- Oh, yeah. - Nicely done.
Sweetheart, run that woman's credit app for me.
"Sweetheart"?
Think you'll find my name is Gail.
She's a feminist?
Come on. Martini calls you sweetheart.
Well, you're not Martini.
Just run the app, would you?
Yes, okay. No need to be so rude about it.
- The customer is waiting, Gail. - Freddy.
She's a joke, Dad. She can't get a single thing right.
We don't talk to each other like that in here.
- Like what? - Mr. Klein, it's fine, really.
No, it's not. Let's go outside.
Jesus. Come on, Dad.
- I was just trying to do my job. - Who do you think you are?
You think you're better than other people because you sold a few cars?
- No. - No? You're right about that.
You're not.
I don't ever want to see you treat anybody like that ever again.
- Do you hear me? - Okay, I'm sorry.
And stop with the big-shot act. It's really pissing me off.
I can't believe you're getting mad over this.
What do you want me to do, Freddy?
Just sit there while you act like a snot-nosed little brat?
Now go in there and apologize to Gail.
I mean it, Freddy. Go on in.
Great car. You're gonna love it.
He'll be right with you.
I guess it's not ladies' night, huh?
It's Taco Tuesday.
What's going on?
Freddy can't work for us anymore.
Why not? He's doing great.
Yeah.
He's doing great.
And he's happy.
He's happy, he's doing great.
Okay, I'll bite.
What's the problem?
He's just growing up too fast, Ash.
I mean, you know Freddy. He's always been such a sweet kid.
He's changing.
Okay.
- That's what they do. - Yeah.
No, he should be at college with kids his own age.
He can do better than this.
What's wrong with this?
Come on, Ash. We're grown men.
We live alone paycheck to paycheck.
What happens 10 years down the road?
Five years?
I don't know.
I don't have a crystal ball.
We pay our bills. We have a few laughs.
No one gets hurt.
Could be worse.
Could lose your family?
Oh, Jesus, Al. Really?
Isn't the statute of limitations on whining up yet?
This is no life for my son.
Okay.
So what's the plan?
- We've got to let him go. - Whoa, whoa... "we"?
Well, yeah. If I tell him, he's just gonna come running to you.
We got to do it together.
And what are we gonna tell him?
It'll break his heart, Al.
Good morning.
Hey.
Are we okay?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah. What are you looking at?
Just following a couple of small cap stocks here.
Seeing what trends before I jump in.
Trends, huh? Well, be careful with that.
- That's gambling now. - I'll tell you what's not gambling.
Investing in your business.
- Really? - Marketing, Dad.
- Marketing? - TV commercials.
Huh?
I got this friend, Alan Gottlieb. He's a film major at UCLA.
He gets to use all their equipment for free.
Cameras, film, everything.
We could shoot a bunch of 60-second commercials.
Won't even cost us a penny.
Hmm?
We'll see.
Dad, I'm telling you, this is worth it.
At least talk to Martini about it when we get in?
- Hey, Freddy. - Hey.
- Gail? - She'll be in at 10:00.
- Freddy, sit down. Let's talk. - About the commercial?
No, something else. Go ahead, sit.
- Ash, you want to sit down? - Nope.
- You sure? - I'm sure.
What's going on?
We've got to make some changes.
All right. I knew you guys would come through.
No, Freddy, this is not about that.
Ash and I
penciled out the numbers
and it's gonna be too tough to keep you on payroll.
What?
It's a two-man business. It always has been.
It's...
we can't afford to spread it out this thin.
What are you saying?
What I'm saying...
is you can't work here anymore.
- You're firing me? - No, it's not like that.
What's it like?
You know, I'm selling cars. Even Martini said it.
I'm a closer. Remember you said that to me?
You're selling cars we could be selling.
There's just not enough to go around.
Let's get more, then. That's what I'm saying.
- We're not doing that. - It's the way to go, Dad.
It's not gonna happen. We just can't start
changing things around to accommodate one more person.
One more person.
Gee, I'm glad I mean that much to you.
- You do, Freddy. - This is bullshit.
Hey, hey, buddy boy. Don't talk to your dad like that.
- This is your father. - Some good that does me, huh?
Enough.
That's the way it's got to be.
I thought you were my friend.
I am.
So what do I do now, huh?
Do I still live with you?
What are you gonna do all day?
I think it's best that you move back with your mom.
I don't...
I don't... I just don't get what...
yesterday, everything was going great.
Now I'm out? What did I do wrong?
Just tell me and I will apologize.
You didn't do anything wrong, kid.
Is this about the Gail thing? Is that what this is all about?
It's got nothing to do with that. It's just not gonna work out, Freddy.
I'm sorry.
- You're not sorry. - I am.
You're not sorry, you're just cheap.
I get it now. That's why.
That's why Mom divorced you. I get it now.
You won't even listen to any of my ideas
of how to make more money. You're so small-time.
I can't believe you're doing this to me.
Great.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
No, we've got to let him go.
Al, you sure this is the right thing?
I'm not sure about anything.
Hello.
Yes?
Hey, Chick. Al. That was me.
Must have gotten disconnected or something.
What is it, Al?
Is Freddy around?
What, you haven't talked to him?
No, no. Not for a while.
He reenrolled at Cal Poly.
We took him up there this past weekend.
Oh.
Good news.
- Barb's happy about it. - Yeah, I bet.
Okay, then.
Yeah, Chick, I don't know what Freddy told his mother
about why things didn't work out here,
but just...
let her know that I did what I...
Just tell her
I probably should have just listened to her in the first place.
All right, I will, Al.
You know how much she likes being told she's right.
And one other thing, Chick.
I just wanted to...
I know you taught Freddy a lot of stuff
about business...
and I just wanted you to know that he really took it all in.
He learned a lot from you. So I...
I want to thank you for that.
That's really nice of you to say, Al.
I appreciate it.
Okay, Chick. Goodbye.
Got three good ones for auction here. Take a look.
AL you okay?
Freddy decided to go to Cal Poly.
Left last weekend.
That's good, right? That's what you wanted.
Except for the fact that Chick's the one who told me, yeah.
My own son won't even talk to me anymore.
What do you expect? You fired him.
Thanks, Ash. That helps.
He'll come around.
It's what kids do. They... you know, they...
kids.
What say you and me, we go to Casa Rio
and get your mind off this stuff?
Cocktails.
What's the matter with you?
I mean, really, Casa Rio,
is that the solution to all the problems in the world?
Well, it's the answer to a couple good ones.
Get off my ass, man. I'm just trying to help out, okay?
- I'm sorry. - Sorry. I'm sorry. I just...
I'm sorry.
And thanks, Ash.
Is this a bad time?
No, come on in.
What's up?
Uh...
- Barb? - Shh.
If I head to bed now, you'll come with me, won't you, Al?
- Uh-huh. - Yeah.
All right... wait, wait.
Wait.
I'm a little confused here.
Are you leaving your husband?
I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead.
Then you came here
to have an affair or one-night stand?
What the hell difference does it make?
I'm here in lingerie.
I'm "low-hanging fruit," as Martini used to say.
Right, all of a sudden, out of the blue you're good to go?
Haven't you been trying to get me in the sack for the last 14 years?
I'm here. What's the problem, Al?
Chick.
Chick is the problem, right?
I think you're forgetting that I used to be that guy
sitting at home in the dark going, "Where the hell is my wife?"
Well, this was a mistake of epic proportions.
It was. Why'd you do it?
That's a good question.
Barb. Barb. I'm serious.
I don't know, Al.
Maybe it was because I knew
you wanted more than anything in the world
to have Freddy here with you and you made the choice
to put his well-being ahead of your own.
And that made you what, pity me?
Actually, it made me feel...
close to you again.
Look, I know coming here tonight
wasn't the most noble thing I've ever done,
but I had these feelings for you
and I wanted to share them
even if was only for a couple hours.
I appreciate that, Barb. I really do.
But a couple of hours just wouldn't have been enough.
Hope you know that even though
it didn't work out between us,
I always felt connected.
Connected?
You felt connected?
You know what I mean.
Actually, I don't.
I know you've never forgiven me, Al.
And I understand.
But you'll never understand what it was like for me.
Night after night sitting on that couch
in that crappy apartment
with a baby in my arms,
just staring at the front door
waiting for you to come home from the lot.
I'd hear you coming up the stairs
and I'd say a prayer.
"Please, God, let Al have sold a car today."
The door would open and you'd look at me
with that apologetic look on your face.
And I knew... no sale.
And I was frightened.
Because...
without money, you can't feed a baby.
I couldn't sit and wait and hope
and pray my life away anymore.
I just couldn't do it, Al.
I couldn't do it.
I'm sorry.
Turned it around eventually.
Yeah.
You did.
♪ Yesterday ♪
♪ I had the blues ♪
♪ I couldn't win ♪
♪ All I did was lose ♪
♪ But now ♪
♪ I got everything ♪
♪ You made my poor heart sing ♪
♪ 'Cause I got you, baby ♪
♪ Oh, yes, I do ♪
♪ Yesterday, yesterday ♪
♪ I had to cry ♪
♪ Yesterday ♪
♪ Oh, Lord ♪
♪ I had to cry ♪
♪ Things were so bad ♪
♪ I wanted to die ♪
♪ But now it's just a memory ♪
♪ You made my poor heart sing ♪
♪ I'm so glad I got you, baby ♪
♪ Oh, yes, I am ♪
♪ You filled, you filled ♪
♪ You filled my heart ♪
♪ With so much joy ♪
♪ I could tell ♪
♪ I could tell by the way you make ♪
♪ You make me feel... ♪
Any...
any word from anyone?
Not really sure what you mean by "word."
Calls. Phone calls.
Specifically from my partner Al Klein.
I don't know if you've noticed, but he hasn't been around much lately.
I did notice, actually.
Has he been sick?
Yeah, he's sick.
He should try Eastern medicine.
It's really easy.
You don't even have to get shots.
Gail, I'm just... I just came in to get some coffee, actually.
♪ Now I've got everything... ♪
You seem sad, Mr. Martini.
Do I?
Yeah.
"Dad.
You've probably heard by now I decided to go to college.
I didn't tell you myself because I was still pretty upset,
but I'm not anymore.
I realized you didn't fire me because it wasn't working out.
You did it because you wanted me to learn there's more to life
than just 'people are shit.'
I want you to know that even though it didn't end great,
it was still the best summer of my life.
This was the summer I figured out who I am.
I'm your son.
I love you, Dad.
Freddy."
Ever own a Cadillac?
No, I have not.
Well, it's the best car in the world, new or used.
Can I afford one, though? That is the question.
Well, you let me worry about that.
- Ash Martini. I'm the owner. - Nice to meet you.
Go on, get in. See how it fits.
No, no. I'm actually not ready to buy a car today.
Eh, you buy, you don't buy. That's up to you.
I just get excited when I get a car like this on the lot.
Yeah, I just don't want to waste your time.
- I'm not ready to buy a car. - Yeah, well, no pressure.
Let's take it for a spin.
Ash, what are you doing?
I'm taking this nice gentleman for a ride in this De Ville.
Don't bother. I got a guy coming in this afternoon to buy it.
- Who? - A lawyer from Pasadena.
I'm sorry, sir. I can't sell you the car.
Why don't you show him the Mark IV? I'm sorry.
I got a nice Lincoln I can show you.
I actually like this one.
I mean, if it's not for sale, what's it doing on the lot?
Al, just a second.
Let me see what I can do for you.
You get lost?
I'm sorry. I should have called.
Nah.
So you figure it all out?
All of it? No.
But did realize there are worse things in this world
than being a used car salesman.
Like what?
No idea.
I'd love to stand here and chat,
but there is a Cadillac out there with that gentleman's name on it.
Go get him, tiger.
I'm gonna miss that car.
All right, bought us 20 minutes. Then we have to have the car back.
- Excellent. - Let's take her out.
Hi, folks. Al Klein from Diamond Motors
in beautiful downtown Covina.
And I'm here to tell you about our three-day blowout.
I'm Ash Martini. You come down here and buy a car from us,
our competition is toast.
Hi, folks. AI Klein with my lovely wife Linda
here at Diamond Motors and we want to tell you...
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
How was that?
- Howdy, folks. Al Klein. - Ash Martini.
- We're here at Diamond Motors. - Downtown Covina.
The only thing we want to do is sell you a car.
Is that good, Mr. Klein?
Are you sick and tired of trolling for bargains?
Hi, I'm Ash Martini,
Diamond Motors, downtown Covina.
We got a whole flock of new cars that just came in
and we want to sell them to you...
Hi, folks. Al Klein with my beautiful wife Linda here at Diamond Motors.
- We want to tell you... - Cut! Cut it!
Gail, what are you doing?
- Trying to save this plant. - Okay, you're in the shot.
Look, it's dying. Oh!
Hey, folks, come on down to Diamond Motors.
'Cause here at Diamond Motors...
We're family!
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