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Midgard rejects your frozen villainy, ymir,
ice giant of niffleheim.
The ice will silence you, Thor odinson.
Yeah. Less talk, more rock, goldilocks.
Speak not to me of battle tactics, hulk.
I have fought more...
Here's my question: Why is an ice giant on monuriki island?
I mean, it's not really an ice-friendly location, like, say, someplace cold.
By the way, ice is the perfect weapon
because it melts and leaves no evidence.
Saw that in a movie, i think.
What was that movie?
Cap, you know what I'm talking about.
Stay on task, iron man.
We need to find that casket before it's opened.
Eternal winter in a box? Nope, not seeing it.
Would long summer on a stick work?
Ymir and the casket of ancient winters
are as powerful as they are old, iron man.
Trifle with them at your peril.
I'm not trifling, hammer-time. I'm judging.
Glacier-to-go may be big, strong,
and handy when the fridge breaks,
but even popsicles know to stay in the shade.
So why is he here? And how did he get here?
I don't know. This doesn't add up. Something's off.
And you're off to join it.
Whoa! Iron man just became iron rocket!
Is he okay? Should I tag in? 'Cause I can tag in.
Negative, reptil.
You're here to observe as a trainee.
That's what you do on a ride-along.
Technically, it's more of a fly-along.
And I can just power dive into a--
do not engage, reptil.
Check on the boats out there. That's an order.
Boats. Yes, sir.
Don't go too far, kid. We're about to wrap this up.
Cap, I have a visual on the casket. It's in permafrosty's hand.
You make him drop it, captain marvel. I'll recover it.
Operation fumble is a go.
Time to make some ice scream.
Get it? It's a play on words.
Not bad, hulk. I mean, for you.
Snowball, corner pocket.
Who do you...
What did I do during the best ice monster beach brawl ever?
Boat check.
Wait. That looks like...
Loki.
Guys, it's reptil. I think I just spotted--
a little busy right now, son.
I know, but you've really gotta hear this.
About to lose ya.
Well, he did say, "check on the boats," so...
Tagging in!
Drop the scepter, loki.
"Drop the scepter, loki," or what?
Or I'll-- I, uh...
Just drop it.
It's a fair question, childasaurus.
Perhaps you should return when you can answer it.
It's over, loki, one way or the other.
Yes, even the best-laid plans of immortals go awry,
thanks to your friends.
At least we can agree on that!
Hole in the sky!
I'm trying to remember all the positives of a big hole in the sky.
Nope. There are none.
Okay, cap. Got a plan for this nightmare?
Cap? Cap?
Aah!
Where are you, pesky flea?
You can't hide.
Enough ice follies.
Need to secure the casket, and the kid.
Well, I'm afraid this is where you and I part ways, pre-hero.
I, to a new beginning,
and you, to oblivion.
Whoa! I'll tag out now. Anybody want in? No?
Wait. I can fly.
I can out-flap this skynado, no problem.
Is there any way to do this without hugging?
This hug is saving your life.
Then I'd rather perish. As would I.
Stop complaining and hug for your life!
There it is.
Okay, I've got the casket.
Now let's focus on...
A much bigger problem.
Whoa.
Incoming, me! Gotcha!
Oh, hey, cap. Mystical vortex troubles?
Funny, we were just discussing that very topic.
Hulk has an interesting theory.
No-o-o-o!
Had enough, skynado?
Reptil! He's out cold.
Don't worry. I got this. Kid!
Wake up! Yeah, no good.
Hey, hulk, how about a little help?
Wake u-u-up!
Was that hulk?
Whoa-oa-oa-oa!
Hey, check it out. I'm still alive.
Yeah! We did it!
And I just invented dino-boarding.
Uh-oh.
And dino-crashing.
And full-body dino-trauma.
Reptil, you alive?
For my encore, I will pass out.
The metal one spoke truth.
The island's warmth made me weak.
It was a poor plan.
It was you that failed, not my plan.
You were to open the casket of ancient winters
in a remote location so as to avoid detection.
Instead, it was a wasted trip.
The meddlers were fortunate.
That may be, but Thor delivers the casket
to asgard for safekeeping as we speak.
Our new path to conquest must crush all heroic obstacles.
I know a way.
You have an idea? How refreshing.
Apologies, lord of ice. Please continue.
I tell the tale of jolnir.
Oh, stop. I've heard this tale.
Jolnir is a silly legend.
His kind and generous winter antics are a fairy tale
to amuse asgardian children and gullible frost giants.
It's utter nonsense.
No. Jolnir is nearly as ancient as I am,
and just as real.
Part frost giant, part elf,
jolnir was born with immense power.
But instead of using that power to rule,
he squandered it on helping those
too young and weak to help themselves--
children.
Today, jolnir is better known
as Santa claus.
And each winter, he brings gifts
to all the children of the nine worlds ho ho ho ho ho ho!
In one night.
Such a monumental feat is impossible
to all but him.
Such power.
And if we could harness that power,
none on earth could resist.
Yes, I am well aware of Santa claus.
Santa claus is beloved, celebrated.
Songs are sung in his name.
Hmm? Using him to dominate
the very beings that adore him...
Well, that is just too devious to resist.
I guess there's more to you than snow and ice, after all, ymir.
But where will we find him?
If the stories are true, he makes his home in alfheim,
home of the light elves.
Ugh, elves. Of course. I should've known.
But if he's as powerful as you say,
how could we usurp that power?
We lost one casket.
But there is another--
the casket of ancient powers.
It can transfer even the greatest abilities
from one being to another.
And, like jolnir,
it too resides in alfheim.
A new path.
Misinformation and a reward
should flush jolnir into the open
while we seek the casket of ancient powers.
If no one else finds him, we will.
And then we will claim his power.
Yes. The hunt is on for Santa claus.
But first, a distraction for our heroic friends.
Huh?
Hm. You'll do.
Remember your footwork. Again.
Am I still in trouble for going after loki on my own?
You're not in trouble. You're in training to join this team someday.
And that won't happen if you don't learn teamwork.
I tried to tell you. I just...
I wanted you to believe in me.
I figured if I catch loki-- boom, I'm in the game.
But you don't act alone when you're part of a team.
So you're on the bench.
Going a little hard on him, aren't you?
He showed guts. Guts count too.
Only when they're paired with brains.
Aw, lighten up, cap. He stepped up to loki, and he's still here.
Gold star for that.
Did young cap take no for an answer?
Did young any of us? No.
And we all made mistakes.
Mistakes I'm trying to help him avoid.
He'll learn from the mistakes.
We did.
- Uh, guys? I'm right here. - He'll be fine.
He's a one-man dino-band.
You know who else had skills like that? Dinosaurs.
And look how things turned out for them. Wait. Bad example.
I rest my case. Guys, still in the room.
You wouldn't worry so much if you had my new-car shine, cap.
Now pipe down before the kid hears us.
Whoa! Thor's back already? That was quick.
No. He said it would take time
to secure the casket of ancient winters in asgard.
That was something else.
Tell me you didn't use my private bathroom again.
I like your shampoo. Smells like candy canes.
Candy? Hulk, that's not shampoo.
That's foot cream. Ugh.
I still like it.
Should I come?
Guys?
Tourist? He doesn't look local.
No, but he's making himself at home.
Not in my house.
Nobody makes a mess in my house.
Except you.
Easy, hulk. First priority is clearing the street.
Get everyone out of the lizard zone.
I'm on it.
Don't worry about the Fender.
I got that covered.
You're welcome.
Really? Rampages make us all look bad,
extra-large dino-noob.
Heads up!
You do need to work on your reflexes.
Thanks!
You wanna walk away or fly away.
The flying option involves punching.
Have a nice flight!
Back already?
Huh?
Okay. So much for that plan.
Captain marvel, you're air support. Iron man--
hold up. I've got a way to end this, no rubble required.
Reptil, come here.
What are you doing? Shh. It's a surprise. Don't ruin it.
Kid, bust out your best dino-head.
Uh, okay.
Does this work?
For a job interview or a date, no.
But for this, it's perfect.
Huh?
All right. Look alive, people.
No. Give the kid some room. What?
But that thing is-- ah-ah-ah. There's no "but" in "team."
Or something like that. Just trust me.
Uh, so what am i doing now?
You're doing it already. Keep it up.
But I'm not doing anything. Exactly. Don't move.
"Don't move"? But...
Hey, it thinks I'm its-- ugh-- baby.
Ugh! Ugh!
Okay.
You can stop licking now.
How'd you know that would work?
I didn't. I just wanted to see what would happen.
Kidding.
It's obvious that that's a she,
and motherly instincts are hard to deny.
That was a risky play.
High risk, high reward. It's the only game worth playing.
- Worth it for you, maybe. - Not for him.
That's what I love about you, stars and gripes.
Your glass is always half full. Of sour milk.
Is there a plan to-- ugh-- stop the licking?
'Cause...
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Eighth time's a charm, pal.
Honestly, i feel good about this.
I am groot.
So when I say, "punch it," you punch it.
Got it?
And... punch it!
- Power down! - I am groot.
Power down! Power down.
Power down! Power down!
Why'd you punch it?
Oh, now the electrical's fried!
I gotta rewire the whole thing!
And I'm out of wire!
I'm sick of this flying scrap heap.
We need a new ship.
I am groot.
I know new ships cost units.
I am groot.
I know we don't have any units.
But maybe that's about to change.
"Jolnir, a.K.A. Santa claus. Mass burglary, animal cruelty.
Stealing cookies from kids"?
Well, this guy's a real piece of work. And the reward is...
Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Oh, we bag this guy, and we can buy any ship we want.
Set a course for this alfheim place.
Ah, alfheim,
the most joyous of the nine realms.
How can anyone stand a place this happy?
Even elves?
Agreed. It's too warm.
Fortunately, our visit will be short.
Now, where in this cursed realm is the casket of ancient powers?
Mmm.
I suppose we will just
have to ask for directions then.
Captain, is this a hero's welcome, or is treachery afoot?
Hard to say. How'd things go in asgard?
All's well. The casket of ancient winters is once again in safe hands.
Nothing out of the ordinary?
Well, there was one odd development.
What's the emergency?
Please tell me loki didn't steal back that icebox.
No. We believe loki has moved on
to a far more sinister plan.
"We" is an overstatement.
Let's look at the facts. Tony, the lizard attack.
Is there some footage you can--
boom. Jarvis. We know a creature attacked the city today,
and we know that despite its size and strength,
we defeated it easily.
Too easily. Thor and I believe--
uh, he believes. I, less so.
...that loki sent the creature to distract us from his true scheme,
which Thor discovered while in asgard.
Thor?
I thought it less a scheme and more a jest.
Loki accuses someone of false crimes
and offers a great reward for his capture.
Loki's target has many names.
In asgard, he is jolnir.
Here, he is known as Santa claus.
Santa claus.
Santa!
Red suit, white beard?
Belly like a bowl full of jelly? Drives a flying sleigh?
Reindeer with a glow-in-the-dark nose?
Whoo! A Santa bounty. Too funny.
Really? Just Thor and me? Come on. You can't be serious.
Don't I look serious?
Sure. But you always look like that.
For good reason. It may sound funny, but Santa claus is no joke.
No? Jarvis, can you walk us through the physics of Santa?
The simple version. It would be my pleasure.
For simplicity, we'll assume there are two billion children on earth.
Using a census average of 3.5 children per home,
that's 571 million homes for Santa to visit in only one day,
or 31 hours, accounting for time zones and the earth's rotation.
This would require Santa to visit 5,116.5 houses per second
while traveling at 4,043 miles per second between stops.
Now, the sheer volume of pres-- that's enough, Jarvis.
Point is, it's impossible.
But I knew that as a kid. Off.
Wait! Not that it takes a genius to figure out
this scam is impossible. Nothing is impossible if you believe.
Uh, sorry.
Regardless, it may be that Santa has incredible power.
Enough to bend space-time.
Loki could use the casket of ancient powers
to claim jolnir's power.
Both are said to be in alfheim.
But this has gone too far.
Jolnir is just a legend, a myth.
Kind of like you, Thor from asgard?
Fine. Maybe this guy's Thor's cousin.
But he's not Santa, because there is no Santa.
I'll take a trip to prove I'm right. Let's go to alfheim.
Heimdall won't open the Bifrost to mortals for such folly,
- nor should he. - No problem.
We don't need your rainbow bridge when we've got
my dimensional gateway transporter bridge thingamajig.
I'm still working on the name. This is a fool's errand.
So stay here. Someone has to work on plan b--
doing Santa's job if something goes wrong.
You can do that with hulk.
Ho ho ho!
We'll have a Holly jolly time.
Your device is real? We're going on a Santa quest,
and you're asking if my tech is real? Fine.
Has it been tested?
Sure. Phase one of testing started... now.
Joy to another world, huh, kid?
Yes!
We're gonna meet Santa claus!
Are you well, sir? Do you require aid?
Oh. Who takes pity on these old, cold bones?
Commander athidel, of the emerald guard, at your service.
Loki!
Good eye, commander athidel.
So kind of you to offer help.
But I fear you are in far greater need of it than I.
Hmm?
Oh!
Now, would you mind directing us
to the nearest casket of ancient powers?
And I'm afraid we're in a bit of a rush.
Look, I'm just saying i know Santa claus.
The stories, the songs, all the reindeer names.
I'm a Santa freak.
I could be a big help on this mission.
This isn't a training mission. I know.
No one gets what's at stake here more than me.
Santa has to be saved.
That's why I want to go. Need to go.
And, hey, if I meet Santa and become his best friend, I'm fine with that.
I'm sold. Too bad it's not my call.
No, it's mine. And I'm afraid I've made it.
We'll resume your training when this is resolved, humberto.
I'm surprised, cap. Kid believes in this stuff.
I believe it's a sham.
At the very least, his attitude offsets mine.
If there was ever a mission for him to join, this is it.
Fine, fine. He can go.
Really?
Yeah, really?
Really. As your shadow.
Ooh. Walked into that one.
Yes! I promise you won't regret this.
Unless I screw up. Which I won't.
If you do, you'll never see earth again.
- Just kidding. - Iron high five.
What I don't get is,
if you think this trip's a loser, why make it happen?
Because I'm always right, and it's my duty to prove that.
Or you have no holiday plans.
Because I'm selfless too. We're clear for takeoff.
By the way, there's a small chance we'll get separated.
And by "we," i mean our molecules.
What's the likelihood of this gizmo
actually getting us to alfheim?
Hmm. 100%.
The likelihood of reaching alfheim safely is 78%.
Which, if you round up, is basically a hundred percent.
Not cool, Jarvis. We agreed to use fuzzy math.
I said "math." You added "fuzzy."
Wait. Are those cookie trees?
Yeah. They look good.
But I just lost my appetite.
See? Safe and sound.
Sure, there's an army of angry Archer elves targeting us,
but we get souvenir glow arrows.
That's a win in my book.
I am malitri, captain of the emerald guard.
You will release commander athidel by the count of three.
One-- wait a second.
We don't have this commander.
Cap, let me handle this.
Forsooth, good malitrio, light elf of the light elves.
We know not of whence hence you speak.
We instead seek to query you on a quandary most dire.
Your mockery is a path that leads only to woe,
armored interloper, for you.
No, no, my spritely comrade.
Your pointy-eth ears have-- hath mistrewn-eth
the words coming from my-- mine yon lips, and...
Look, ear-kabobs, fancy talk isn't my thing.
But you'd love my pal Thor. Why didn't we bring Thor again?
This is right in his wheelhouse.
I grow weary of this one's prattle.
Dispatch him.
You don't want to fancy-talk it out? Fine. Dispatch this.
Wait. Where'd he go?
Emerald guards, capture them,
by any means necessary.
Time to separate the boys from the other boys.
Whoa. Let's start over.
We're here to protect Santa claus.
You call him jolnir.
The emerald guard protects jolnir.
We do not require the help of outlanders.
The point is, same team.
The other team, loki and ymir-- they have a head start.
Loki and ymir are a most treacherous threat.
A threat we are more than able to counter on our own.
I believe you.
It's not like your commander is missing or anything.
Loki and ymir may be using your commander
to find the casket of ancient powers.
If so, we need to work together and get there first. Sing it, cap.
Why would we trust outlanders?
Because Santa's safety is at risk.
Nothing else matters.
Follow us.
Um, how'd you do that?
No idea. Pretty cool, though, right?
They must think you're an elf. Easy mistake.
I remain perplexed. By what?
Why a sleigh? Why reindeer?
And why must the gifts all be delivered in one night?
Well, it's the holidays.
And you like this?
Like it? I love it. Wanna know why?
Yes. That's what I've been asking you to explain for hours.
Okay. This is why Christmas rocks.
You've heard of Santa, right?
Yes, of course, hulk.
Okay. Just making sure for your sake.
So, there's Santa and presents, which kids love, of course.
Anyway, now, Santa-- he can fly.
And presents can be anything.
A toy pony, a real pony, or anything.
Not just ponies. Maybe I should start over.
Nah, I'll keep going. So, there's Santa, and then there's pre--
did I say that already? I can't remember.
Also, there's songs, cookies, sleigh bells,
sweaters, pine trees, big socks, snowmen,
pie, and then--
boom!
It's the next morning, and you're sitting on a brand-new pony.
That was of no help whatsoever, hulk.
Looks like you picked the right wormhole for alfheim, groot.
I owe you a burrito.
I am groot.
What kind of twisted fever dream is this place?
What, do they grow gingerbread men here?
I am groot.
Yeah, you would like it.
File says this jolnir/santa guy drives a sleigh.
So, find the sleigh, find Santa.
Hey, don't eat that. It's probably stale.
I am groot!
Great. See what you did? You made the gingerbread rise.
Well, one thing to do when you're stuck in a cookie jar-- chew 'em up!
There. Nothing but crumbs.
What the sprinkles...
Perfect. Zombie cookies.
Come on.
Let's run, run fast as we can!
Cursed cave!
Athidel, if the casket is much further,
ymir may share his discomfort with you.
Our destination is near.
Aah! Wretched rocks!
I hope so. For your sake.
Think we'll find the casket before loki?
What happens if they find it first?
And how far do these tunnels go?
No one knows. Those who venture too far
or lose their way never return.
Glad I asked.
I'm not. Me neither.
Should we be leaving a trail of bread crumbs? Or flares, maybe?
Less talk, more walk, people.
There. There is what you seek.
That's it? The casket of ancient powers?
You leave it unguarded?
No. The casket's ward is the jorokraken.
And where is the jorokraken now?
Where he always is. Beneath our feet.
Aah!
And he's never been fond of uninvited guests.
Elfworld is on a fault line?
Whoa. No one said anything about tunnel quakes.
That disturbance was caused by the movement of the jorokraken.
Jorokraken? Sounds delightful. What is it?
The jorokraken is a great ancient beast that skulks in the rocky depths.
It is a friend to the light elves and jealously defends
the casket of ancient powers from all who dare seek it.
That means loki's found the casket. Let's move.
Back, vile tentacles!
This creature is relentless!
Aah! And rude. Very rude.
No! No! Stop it! Bad!
Alfheim protects jolnir against all trespassers.
Your fates were sealed the moment you dared plot against him.
I bid you farewell on your journey to oblivion.
Even the most savage beast can learn manners
when given the proper motivation.
You were saying?
Use care.
If you open the casket without a target,
it will siphon your powers.
As I assumed.
I haven't made it this far on charm alone, cold friend.
You will never reach jolnir.
And even if you do, he is far too powerful for you.
That, my stalwart Santa sentry, is why we needed the box.
Fool! You'll trap us all!
Wrong again.
This just isn't your day.
No-o-o-o!
Get clear!
Biggest tremor yet. We're almost there.
Or it's already here.
Loki sent us a present.
Why can't I ever be wrong?
Keep pushing. There has to be a weakness.
Apparently it's called a whistle.
You trained the jorokraken?
This relic held sway over the jorokraken when we found it.
We know not how,
but we remain grateful for its existence.
You and us both. What happened to loki and ymir?
They escaped with the casket and left me sealed in.
Fortunately, my knowledge of the hidden passages allowed me to escape.
These tunnels have secret tunnels?
- That's just too much tunnel. - They're on the move.
Where is jolnir?
Jolnir calls the top of mount jolly home.
Of course. I was gonna guess that.
We need to get there, now.
The emerald guard does not allow outlanders on mount jolly.
Yeah? Tell that to freezy and sleazy.
We will, vigorously.
Look, this isn't a turf war. We want to help.
And since you coughed up that power box,
seems like you guys could use it.
Think it over, long-bow short-fuse.
Thank you. We decline your offer.
It's not an offer. There's too much at stake.
We're going. You don't have to help us.
But we won't let you stop us.
Yay. Happy ending.
Sorry. Excuse me. Pardon me.
How could you let them pass?
What we began, our brothers will finish.
Season's greetings!
I'm Nicholas, store manager.
But, please, call me Nick.
What can I help you find today?
We seek playthings and trinkets of amusement
for the children of this world.
Ho ho ho! You're in the right place.
Toy to the world has the widest selection of toys in the world.
Toy cars, toy planes... Why does this man seem familiar?
'Cause he looks like Santa claus? No.
...toy saws, toy clocks-- Nick, have we met in the past?
Um, no.
I'd remember you. Ho ho ho ho ho ho!
The laugh? The beard?
Come on. Santa claus.
Nick, have you ever journeyed to asgard?
Um, is that overseas?
Yes. Over seas, lands, space, and time.
Santa. Claus.
Of course! The resemblance is uncanny!
So, are you looking for a specific toy?
Yeah. All of them.
Indeed. We require every toy you possess.
Charge it all to Tony stark.
And you, Nick.
I believe we require you as well.
That's him. Rotten, low-life crook.
Let's grab him, quick and quiet,
and get out of this snow globe.
Place gives me the creeps. And stop eating those gumdrops!
End of the trail, Santa claus!
Nothing personal, just business.
You're worth a whole lot of loot to somebody.
Actually, it is a bit personal!
Taking cookies from kids? How do you sleep at night?
What? Groot, lose the scarf.
I said, "I'm afraid you've got the wrong claus."
I'm Mrs. claus,
Santa's wife.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
Oh, I wish.
Oh, but I'm not much of a jokester.
Not like you two.
I mean, this prank-- what a hoot!
I'm so sorry I spoiled it.
"Prank"? Sure.
Pretending to be bandits, leaping out to catch Santa.
Delightful!
Hop in. I'll give you a ride to our place.
Santa loves it when old friends drop by.
Eh...
Yeah. Yeah, we're old friends here to play a prank on Santa.
You saw right through us.
Come on, groot. This sweet old lady's gonna help us bag her husband.
So, how far are we-e-e-e...
We know jolnir is up there.
Why do we cower here like rodents?
Ugh! I'm unable to open a portal on that mountain.
It's shrouded in magic-- jolnir's magic.
And there are certainly more defenses than the light elves we see.
So why confront them ourselves
when we can let our willing decoys do it for us?
What decoys?
Those decoys.
Heroes.
They're more reliable than clocks.
Halt. Come no closer.
We have no choice.
We need to reach jolnir before it's too late. Stand down.
You give no orders here, outlander.
Maybe we should let humberto talk.
That worked last time. Just an idea.
It's okay, guys. If I was identical
to everyone around me, I'd be tense too.
Now take a hike so, you know, we can take a hike.
So, Santa's elves make toys and weapons.
Want to let humberto talk now?
Uh, might be too late.
Agreed. We're past talking.
Reptil, stay close to iron man.
Try to keep up, kid. Last one to the top cleans up the mess.
Go easy. We're on the same side. Not sure they got that memo.
Get clear!
Yeah. They're not blowing kisses at us.
Incoming at 1:00!
3:00! 10:00!
7:00! 8:00 and 9:00!
Got it, kid. Around-the-clock arrow-rama.
Propulsion's off-line. Going down.
I'm okay. Good. Stay put.
No problem, since I can't move.
Air support headed your way.
Snow down, fellas!
Captain marvel, boost.
Got it!
Reptil, tail!
What? Did you say "tail" or "whale"?
"Tail." Got it.
Something's happening.
Santa's gone.
I can't believe it.
Looks like dirt squid called it a day too.
I guess they're a holiday package deal.
Too bad the elves weren't part of that package.
So we're not gonna meet Santa?
I'm, uh, not so sure this is a good idea, guys.
Nonsense, Nick. You were born for this endeavor.
In this sleigh, you will bring hope and joy
to children everywhere. Oh.
Well, that sounds pretty good. Ugh!
Are we ready for a test flight?
Sky looks clear.
And your helmet wings look like antlers if you squint.
Wait. Flight?
That was a joke, right?
Flying terrifies me-e-e!
You will wait for commander athidel.
No, thank you. No more waiting.
It's time to say good night. Follow my lead.
Wait. Please, just hear me out.
You elves are sworn to protect Santa.
But Santa's gone, so... we're all good, right?
Whew. Seriously, what is that? Dino-hypnotism?
You think I know? No one listens to me.
You don't listen to me. It's not personal.
- Who listens to kids? - We do.
And the young one speaks true.
Jolnir has departed, eliminating the cause for conflict between us.
You're free to go.
Yeah, yeah. I get that part.
But why do you guys only listen to the kid?
The greater the youth, the greater the truth.
Indeed. Youth is an asset.
The young are dear to jolnir. But more importantly,
we light elves can sense who believes in jolnir
and who does not.
Humberto believes.
And we trust the words of a believer.
How'd he know my name?
You think I know?
So where is jolnir? Where did he go?
The time of giving-- when jolnir distributes gifts
to the children of the nine realms-- is at hand.
It begins on the world closest to ours, midgard,
in a remote location of jolnir's choosing.
I believe you call it the north pole.
Ha! I knew it!
That's loki's next target. We need to get there now.
Regretfully, we cannot join you.
Per jolnir's wishes, our duties end when the time of giving begins.
So even Santa's elves get the holidays off. But not us. Nice.
Evil doesn't observe holidays. Let's roll.
Isn't this a hoot?
I am groot, I am groot, i am groot!
What's that?
It's a ramp! Why?
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Aaaahhhh!
Here we are.
Oh, snickerdoodles!
We must've just missed him.
Don't worry. I know where he is.
I'll have us there in no time.
No!
I mean, no, you've been so kind.
We've imposed enough on you.
We have a ship.
If you could just tell us where we can find him.
A ship? How wonderful!
I've always wanted to fly a ship.
Let's go!
I am groo-oo-oot!
It was thoughtful of jolnir to depart.
This mountain now yields before my magic.
Loki and ymir, stand down or perish!
Hear me out. I have a proposition.
Come with me to midgard, help me claim jolnir's powers,
and I will reward you in ways your former master never did.
You'll find no evil minions here, fiend.
The emerald guard will never conspire with you.
Oh, very well. If you insist, we can just do it the easy way.
See? Now we're all friends.
No sign of Santa's cottage on my end.
No activity on the thermal sensors.
N-n-nothing here either.
You still cold, kid?
Of course. He's cold-blooded.
N-n-no. I'm fine.
Okay. Let's land, get more layers on humberto,
and search the forested areas on foot.
We're gonna need more bodies. I'll signal Thor and hulk.
I suspect Santa claus would smile more and shriek less, Nick.
Ah. Better.
Now, aim true, hulk.
Let's deliver some gifts.
Toys away!
Ho ho ho! Whoo!
Perhaps with less force.
Sorry. I'll turn down the heat for ya.
So I'm the only one who finds it convenient
that Santa's house vanished right when we found it?
This is a prank, and those elf-alikes are in on it.
Maybe. But we can't take that chance.
If Santa is out here, we need to find him before loki does.
Wait up! Moving is tricky in all these clothes.
But I got it. I got it. Whoa!
Lost it! Got it again.
Hello? Is anybody out there?
Unless he doesn't wanna be found.
If Santa's the powerhouse they say he is,
he could be walking in this winter wonderland with us, and we'd never know.
Another reason why this is pointless,
not that we needed another reason.
Do you have some place you'd rather be tonight?
Yes! Don't you?
Hey, simmer down, fellas. Landing on the naughty list won't fix this.
There is no naughty list, because there is no Santa.
Uh, guys, maybe it's just that my eyeballs are frozen, but look.
Is that Santa's house? Santa's nice, cozy, warm house?
Santa? Santa claus? You in here?
Empty. But he's gotta be close.
Let's fan out. Two-mile perimeter.
Maintain constant contact with-- oh, heat.
Heat, heat, heat, heat.
Ohh, heat.
Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.
On second thought, i could use a moment to warm up.
Reptil, make room. Really?
Getting awfully close to those asteroids.
Thank you so much for letting me fly your ship.
It's always been a little dream of mine.
Oh... It's my pleasure.
But we need to steer away from those asteroids.
Aw, looks like fun.
Let's live a little.
I'd actually rather live a lot,
which is why I don't want to squeeze through that gap!
So Santa was expecting your visit?
Uh, no. It was last minute. A business opportunity--
look out! Popped up.
Lots of money-- pull up!
To be made.
And you want to make a lot of money?
Absolutely. Watch it!
That's our ticket to a new ship.
What's wrong with this ship?
Seems like it runs just fine.
Thanks to me.
And I'd like to keep it that way.
No! We're not gonna make it!
You worry too much.
Santa was the same way
until he made giving gifts to children his life's work.
Uh... come again?
He spends all year preparing for tonight.
Every child-- who they are, where they are, what they want.
All those gifts. And then-- boom,
he delivers every single present himself in one night.
Santa does this. Santa claus.
Of course. Who else?
Now, I tell him, spread it out
over a few weeks or months, and he refuses.
You know why?
Because he doesn't want to make even one child wait.
And he gets nothing in return.
That's not how he sees it.
He says the joy of giving is the greatest gift of all.
And that's why I love him.
I am groot.
You're right, pal.
It looks like we do have this one all wrong.
Unbelievable!
Mm. Best hot chocolate ever.
This is exactly how Santa's hot chocolate should taste.
All part of the charade.
What are you looking for over there? Cameras.
We're probably being filmed for some prank show.
Holly jolly follies, or something like that.
Ugh! Why are you so down on Santa claus?
A better question is, why aren't you more down on him, kid?
Memories. Some of the best I have.
My parents were paleontologists.
Spent a lot of time on digs, living in tents.
Space was tight, so toys were a luxury.
One year, I lost my favorite.
I was scared to tell my parents, so I wrote to Santa,
asking for a new one.
That morning, I wake up,
our tent's a jungle,
and there's toy dinos everywhere.
We spent all day in there, just playing.
I still have every one of those dinosaurs.
Little me was obsessed with planes.
I'd never been in one, but I loved them.
One year I asked Santa for a top-of-the-line f-15 model kit.
But I didn't get it.
Instead, I got tickets to an air show,
where I got to sit in the cockpit of a real f-15.
That's when I knew I'd be a pilot.
I was a big fan of baseball as a kid.
But I wasn't athletic, so I was never picked for a team by the other kids.
When I wrote to Santa, I didn't ask for toys.
I asked for a chance to play.
I got a brand-new bat and ball that year--
items my family couldn't afford.
And they were my ticket into the game.
I was awful.
I couldn't throw, catch, or hit.
And I loved every second of it.
Okay. I'll play your little reindeer game.
I was six when I told my dad i didn't believe in Santa claus.
My dad suggested I take it up with Santa.
So I did. I wrote to Santa and told him to keep his presents.
All I wanted was proof that he was real.
After the holidays, the letter came back unopened.
It was marked "undeliverable."
So, I tore it up and threw it away.
Because I had my proof. There's no Santa.
You don't need proof to believe.
Maybe you don't, kid. But I'm a scientist at heart.
Always have been. And that means i won't believe it
until I see it.
Get down!
Hm.
I grow weary of waiting.
Where is jolnir?
Where is your Santa claus?
Do you really think we'll tell you, loki?
That really would be ideal.
Double down on blizzard king.
Aah!
Need a hand, cap?
Or maybe a tail?
You're catching on, humberto.
I've always learned fast.
In third grade, I...
Ymir, freeze them slowly.
Perhaps they'll talk before the cold steals their breath.
Indeed.
Ice is the bringer of truth.
What treachery is this?
Aah!
Presents?
Aaahh!
Your aim is much improved, hulk.
Call me Santa hulk.
Now, this is a worthy holiday tradition--
glorious battle.
Glad you could join us. Wait.
Is that-- did you find--
Santa claus? Nay.
This is our friend Nick.
He is a most convincing doppelgãnger.
And he's as close as we're gonna get.
Oh, I hope not, for the sake of the boy.
Deliver Santa to me,
or I deliver your young friend to his doom.
You won't do it, loki.
Wrong! I will do whatever it takes to prevail.
That is what gives me the advantage over you... heroes.
End this madness, brother.
I'm about to, brother.
Reptil, down!
Hm.
Last chance. Find Santa claus.
Ho ho ho!
No need to look for that which is found.
It's him.
It's really him! It's him! It's Santa claus!
Deck... the... halls.
Santa, look out!
Ho ho ho!
You can control space-time.
And you can be nice, loki,
but you choose to be naughty.
Will you change your ways?
Oh, I will change, with your help.
Oh! Oh!
No!
Got your back, Santa!
No, reptil!
A touching display, dino-child,
but the casket was too quick, and you too late.
Come on, Santa. Say it with me.
"Ho ho ho."
The power of Santa claus!
All mine!
You mortal insects, time is about to pass you by.
Oh, so much power.
The perfect present.
Hope you kept the receipt,
'cause you're returning that gift.
Or exchanging it, depending on store policy.
Your might can overcome many things, my friends,
but I fear a rift in the very fabric of existence
is not one of them.
Santa, you gotta wake up.
We need you.
I always believed in you. I'm not gonna stop now.
Farewell, heroes.
Take comfort in knowing loki's earth
would not be to your liking.
Earth isn't yours just yet, loki.
I'll admit you have spirit, Santa.
But spirit is no more useful than your hat.
What? How?
If there's belief, there's Santa claus.
Thanks for filling in, Nick.
Whew. Did my best. I'm no you, Santa.
You could've fooled me, Nick. It's like looking in a mirror.
I have your immense power, and you can barely stand.
You're no match for me.
He is with our help.
And, like me, you owe Santa an apology.
I should be at home right now!
Don't let up. He's too dangerous.
Put the bow on him, kid.
Here's a couple presents just for you, loki.
Your minds are once again free from loki's tyranny, elves of alfheim.
And that is what the holidays are all about.
I got a confession to make.
I pushed for you to come along to mess with cap.
I know.
But I still wanted to prove i deserve to be on this team someday.
And you did. I was wrong. You were right.
You weren't a trainee today. You were one of us-- a hero.
You did good, humberto.
Ow.
The emerald guard now controls you, loki.
Anyway, it's a true honor to finally meet you,
Santa-- sir!
Did I say that already? The honor is mine, humberto.
Are you okay, Mr. claus?
It's "Santa," Steve.
Feeling stronger by the second.
I'm a bit behind schedule, but I'll make do.
I always have.
And you will tonight, because we're gonna help.
It's the least we can do.
It's the least I can do
for doubting you.
Oh, don't be too hard on yourself, Tony.
Even your brain can't be right all the time.
So we can help? 'Cause I've been practicing.
Why not? The more, the merrier.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
Warm-blooded wretches!
Ice conquers all!
Whoa!
Ha...
Aahh!
Hi, honey!
And there's the missus. Hello, dear!
See, rocket?
You saved everyone from that awful ice giant.
Isn't giving wonderful?
Yeah. Feels pretty good.
It would feel a lot better in a new ship, though.
Shall we? Wait. How do I look?
Not bad, Nick.
Ow! Not bad at all.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
Is this sleigh new, Santa?
Yes. My gift to me.
You okay, Nick?
Mm...
I'm giving him a new car.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
One last delivery. Heroes get presents tonight too.
Reptil, thank you for saving me,
for believing in me, for being my friend.
Ooh. Ooh.
It's so...
It's-- it's--
it's really right here-- new ship...
It's so beautiful!
I am groot.
You're both welcome.
Now, let's take it for a spin.
Rebuild Santa's cottage!
He has his power back. Why can't he do it?
Finish it, or we finish you, villain.
So, what did Santa give you?
I don't believe it.
It's the letter. My letter.
The one I wrote to Santa as a kid.
But I tore it up. It's impossible.
Nothing's impossible if you believe.
You have all given me something to believe in.
I am groot.
That's kind, groot, but we don't need
any more presents.
Wow! Yeah.
Groot knows how to finish on a high note.
It's just missing one thing.
A day off?
- Burritos? - Don't say "hug."
Singing!
Ra-ah-ah-ah-ah!
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