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Merry Christmas Eve, bitch.
Hi.
Are we supposed to share it?
Yes, we're supposed to share it, bitch. I am broke.
- How've you been? - I've been great.
You finally got tits, bitch!
Bitch, the estrogen has been kicking in,
the only thing it hasn't broken down was these fucking arms.
Everything else on my body looks good.
- Oh, honey. - Don't you try it.
I look like the real thing.
So, I got some good news to tell you.
- What? - I've been keeping a secret
about me and Chester.
Girl... Whoo! I know what it is!
You're breaking up with him!
Thank God.
Because honey, if he's gonna be cheating on you like that...
Wait, wait, wait. What?
You didn't know?
How the fuck would I know?
Girl, because everything that you've been hearing on the block
about the girl that he's been with.
Girl, you are the first girl I've seen on the block.
Who is she?
Girl, she's some white fish. I don't know.
Chester is fucking cheating on me with real fish?
Yeah, bitch. Like a real fish girl, like vagina and everything.
I've been gone for 28 fucking days!
And you mean to tell me that he's been out here cheating on me with fish?
Yeah.
Do I know her?
I don't know. I just know that her name starts with a D.
It's something like...
Danielle...
Desiree...
- Dee Dee... I don't know, girl! - Give me your fucking phone!
It was shut off. I had to cover your rent last month.
I've been told you this was gonna happen.
All men cheat.
That's why they're called trade.
Do them just as dirty as they do us.
Out here it's all about our hustle,
and that's it.
What are you plotting?
Merry Fucking Christmas.
Hey, girl, you back from vacation?
Bitch, it's a motherfucking disco out here, bitch.
Why?
Where the fuck is Chester at?
I don't know who the fuck this bitch is, but it's a white bitch.
It's a white real fish.
Girl, don't he have a lot of girls that he been messing with, girl?
Something with a D! Something with a D! Desiree...
- Dominique... - Destiny?
Bitch, I don't know what the fuck her name is, bitch!
Why do fish come in to our territory?
Cause when they're Jane, girl, they're jade.
Want to smoke some weed? I got some weed.
Bitch, you know I don't do downers, bitch. You know I'm an upper ho.
- Sin-Dee. - Oh, hey, Alexandra.
Girl, give me a hug.
See you later, God bless.
OK, I got you.
Girl, calm the fuck down, it's not that serious.
Not that serious my fucking ass, girl.
I already told you, it's just a rumor.
You don't know just yet if it's true.
Bitch, I've been hearing shit in jail, I've been hearing shit out here.
I don't know the fuck is real anymore.
Sin-Dee!
Calm your ass down now or I am going home!
- Oh, girl, shut your ass up! - That's it! I am going home!
White Boy! Where the fuck is Chester?
I don't know. I haven't seen him all day.
What the fuck you mean you haven't seen him?
- Oh, hey, what's the T bitch? - Girl, what's your T?
Have you seen that white bitch either?
I haven't seen anybody, leave me the fuck alone.
- Take these flyers. - OK, OK...
Please be there tonight. Don't disappoint me.
I will. I will be there.
You want me to walk all the way to Vermont?
- Mary's at 7:00. - OK.
- Mary's at 7:00. Mary's at 7:00. - OK.
I will be there, I promise.
Now, I've got to deal with this bitch over here.
She's getting on my fucking nerves.
- You got any T on you? - No, I don't.
Are you sure?
Yes, I am sure! You're making me lose my game.
This is what the fuck I'm dealing with. I cannot take it no more.
- Bye. - Bye.
Girl, wait, wait, wait. I cannot do this.
I cannot do this, it's too much drama.
You just come out here and give me all this information.
To have me go handle it by myself. You're the one who told me anyways.
OK, OK, OK! I will go with you under one condition.
You must promise to me that there's not gonna be any drama.
Because as soon as there's some drama, I'm out of there!
I promise. I promise.
Look at me in my eyes and promise!
I promise no drama, Alexandra!
Come on!
What the fuck you two looking at?
Bitch, like I am clockable!
You can't get it on me, bitch, you can't get it on me, bitch.
I am fierce as fuck.
I don't know what the fuck she was tripping on, girl.
True.
1351 Orange?
- Yes, please. - Alright.
Is that a dog or a cat?
A dog.
What's the name?
Alfie.
Alfie is a very well behaved dog, huh?
It's so quiet.
It's empty.
And his breath always smells like he's been eating ass for days!
I mean when I walk into the room, it shouldn't always smell like homeless.
And those socks, why are those socks so fucking black!
That's not a pimp. What do you see in him?
Why are you looking for him?
Girl, you right! You right!
It ain't his ass I should be worried about.
It should be that bitch. She's the one trying to come on my man.
Bitch, you're smart! I'm gonna fuck her up!
- That's not what I meant! - That's exactly what you meant!
Because that bitch wants to try with me.
- I didn't mean that! - I can give pussy,
it's called a fucking tuck.
Oh, my God! Look, there's Sin-Dee!
I haven't seen her for so long, girl. She's looking good!
Oh, girl! What's up? What's the T?
Sin-Dee! Oh, my God.
So how was it, bitch?
Tell me the T!
Did you get a lot of trade up in there or what?
I want you guys to come to my show tonight.
I am so excited about that!
T was the night before Alexandra.
Stunning goddess...
7:00pm sharp!
Has any of you motherfuckers seen Chester?
- No, not me. - Here we go again.
Girl, she saw hisself trying to cheat on me.
While I'm up in there, girl! Me, bitch!
- I wish I never told her. - I heard about that fish.
And who the fuck is she?
Desiree! Sounds like Desiree.
Girl, do you really want to go back to prison?
You just got out, mama.
I told her that too.
He act like prison is a bad place to go.
Mama, mama, you are so much better than she is.
Look. My boyfriend, my husband.
OK, that's fine. But he's not with you. He's with her.
He left you for her the minute you went to jail.
- Girl, I am so mad. - Why don't you just stop?
- I don't know what else to say. - The only thing I can say is this.
Get that motherfucker!
Oh, girl.
Another black boy on a board.
They all think they are goddamn Lil Wayne.
I remember one Christmas, I was like six or seven,
my family bought me the cutest little Barney doll,
that I would take with me everywhere.
And one day I put it inside the tub with me,
- to give it a bath. - Oh, girl, she tried her out.
And it just stopped working.
It stopped singing the "I love you" song.
And I was just so upset.
The world can be a cruel place.
Yeah, it is cruel. God gave me a penis.
That's pretty damn cruel, don't you think?
You speak English pretty good. Where are you from?
I'm Armenian.
Yeah, I knew some people, came from Armenia.
Brought a lot of jewelry with them, when they got out.
They lived on that jewelry, had a restaurant.
What part of Armenia?
From the capital.
From Yerevan.
Shit.
I'm from Oklahoma, and I am a Cherokee Indian.
I got... I got a girl's name, Mia.
But, it's a feminine name in English, but it's not in Cherokee.
I was named like all Indian Cherokee babies are named.
First thing the mother sees when the baby is born
she names that fucking baby.
So when I was born, my mama looked out the window,
and she seen a red bird, flying overhead in the sky.
Cherokee Indian name for red bird is Mia Mia.
So, she called me Mia.
If you think that's a girl's name, it's not.
I'm glad she didn't look out the window and see an outhouse.
Can you imagine? Look, hey, here comes "Big Shit Thompson!"
Right down the goddamn street. Here he comes.
Oh, fuck.
- You OK? - I don't know.
You got any aspirin?
- No. - Oh, fuck.
- Is this Sunset Boulevard? - Yeah.
You said you are going downtown, right?
Yeah.
I'm in no hurry.
I'm gonna take 101, OK?
I don't give a shit.
You do what you want to do. You're the driver.
Remember, Sin-Dee. No drama!
Yeah, no drama.
Hello.
Hey, Mila, did you see Nash? That little negro.
In the back.
Girl. Nash!
Hi, Nash! Girl, girl, it's Nash, girl!
What's up, Sin-Dee. How are you doing?
- I haven't seen you forever. - Yeah.
It's been a long time.
It's cool. I'm glad you're out and everything.
Look at this, business is booming today. Yes!
How can I help you?
I just haven't seen you in a long time.
You are... Chester.
I haven't seen Chester in a long time, either.
Me, neither.
He's been hanging out with my new friend.
Her name is Dani.
Something Dominique... Desiree...
No, I ain't seen her, sorry.
Well. Listen, Sin-Dee. It's good seeing you, but...
No, no, no, no.
You know where the fuck she is. So stop lying to me Nash.
And tell me where the fuck she is...
Sin-Dee, just calm down. I ain't seen nobody.
This is a place for business, I am trying to...
You know who the fuck I am talking about?
Tell me where the fuck she is.
- Listen! First of all... - OK.
Get some Tic-Tacs.
Number two, I don't know who the fuck you are talking about.
This is my place of business.
And you are fucking my shit up right now.
Oh, shut the fuck up you lackey ass bitch!
- Where the fuck is she? - I ain't telling you shit.
And you need to get the fuck out of here!
Look, I'm not doing this! I'm out of here. Cause you know...
I told you, I already told you!
Bye!
Girl! Alexandra, girl! Hold on!
Just one more minute...
Would you just go with your homeboy and get the fuck out of here?
Oh, now you want to talk shit?
I'm not going nowhere!
- I don't know who... - Where are they?
I don't support that pimping shit.
I stay on my side of the business.
I am morally opposed to the pimping shit.
So, listen. Don't ask me shit like that.
- Alright, listen, listen. - Hello?
Half of the city is down at Schrader.
There is a food line and they are giving away
$20 Christmas gift certificate. Some shit like that, alright?
- Schrader! - Food line!
Thank you!
Alright, come on, man!
For real?
Looks like you need a new pack.
Anybody have a lighter? Anybody have a lighter?
Anybody have a fucking light?
Do you have a light? Excuse me. Hey!
Excuse me, hello! Do you have a light?
Thank you.
Fuck it!
There are girls at the Christmas party.
On Olympic... So fucking, just fucking go there.
Just go to... Take us to Olympic. Mexican, he is a Mexican.
You know where Olympic, that's south of just fucking all the other streets.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
Just get us there. Just get us there quick
before the other guys show up there.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, man!
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Get out of my car, come on.
Come out. Get the fuck out.
I'm going to Olympic and Fountain...
Oh! I'm burning.
Who is gonna clean this?
Just relax! It's Christmas Eve! Where is your Christmas spirit?
It's Christmas... It's Christmas Eve!
Move!
You fucking animals!
- I wanna ride it! - He is gonna pay for it!
Like a trick nigger!
- I wanna ride it! - Like a trick nigger!
He's gonna pay for it!
Go in, bitch!
I heard his dick is little.
Is it little?
I mean, damn.
Wow, what the fuck is going on?
Going in, mommy... Oh, my...
I make silicone boobs. What do you need?
You don't have a baby daddy though.
- Bitch... - You better go get fight, honey.
I was fucking your piece the other night.
Tell him to run me those diapers, bitch.
Don't forget my performance at seven.
- Oh, yeah. - That bitch looks two months pregnant.
How she going to come out here looking like a shitty ass.
Ugly ass bitches.
- Is that Louie or Houie? - She had my date, girl,
and he said that her tucker stink.
- No! - You lying.
She asked for $80 and he is a $900 a date.
- Shut up, please. - The bitch is stupid.
Dude, your cab reeks.
I know, I'm sorry about that.
We are almost there.
It's hardly doing anything.
Let me see your dick.
- Why? - You already know the routine.
I want to make sure you are not a cop.
I'm not a cop.
What can I do for you today?
- I just want to have some fun. - What kind of fun?
I was thinking maybe BBBJ?
I can suck your dick with a condom for 80.
I can give you everything I have.
- Forty fucking dollars? - Oh, come on.
- Are you serious? - Come on, come on.
My family is driving me fucking crazy, I just gotta get off.
- That's not any of my concern. - Okay, okay.
Listen. I can do all the work myself and jerk myself off.
Maybe you can just grab my balls or something.
Please, I will be super-fast.
I just, I just need...
- Come on, it's Christmas. - You know what?
Since it is Christmas, and I do need the money,
I'll do this.
But you better come fast.
Run me my money, put it on the dash.
Quickly...
- Hey, guys. Have you seen Chester? - Who?
Chester, Chester.
Him and his fucking whores?
I don't do that anymore. Even when I see Chester,
- I don't want to see Chester. - Oh, you don't do dope no more?
So this is the fucking silver living line now?
It's not the fucking food line.
- You should ask Bob. - Who the fuck is Bob?
The old man from the line. He is a regular with Chester's girls.
Looks like Santa without a beard. I've been clean for 30 days.
- I got my chip. - Don't give a shit.
Can you just, give it a little stroke, please?
Can you shut the hell up? No, you didn't pay for that.
- Come on just... - No, no. You get what you pay for.
- This is what you paid for. - Come on, you know you want it.
You see right through me, don't you?
Oh, yeah.
Bob, Bob. Are you Bob?
No? Who the fuck is Bob?
- Who's Bob? Who's Bob? - I'm Bob.
- Come on. - Shut the fuck up.
You're not even hard yet.
I'm fucking hard. Shut up.
Is that it? That's hard?
Fuck off, fuck this. It's not fucking working.
Okay but give me... Run me my shit.
Just get the fuck out. Just get the fuck out.
It's not working, okay. There is no deal.
I'm not going anywhere until you give me my money.
What? I didn't cum. You didn't get paid.
- It's all cool, just get out. - No, no, you didn't cum,
but because of the fact that I had to touch your dirty ass.
Well, you ain't doing your job so I couldn't cum.
It's enough fuckin' around. No, I'm not going anywhere.
- Give me my shit. - Get the fuck out of my car.
Give me my shit.
- Get the fuck out. - OK, you know what?
Get the fuck... Give me my fucking keys.
- Nope. - Not fucking funny goddamn it.
Give me my fucking keys.
Not fucking funny.
You're not getting your fucking keys.
- Give me... - You're not getting these...
Get off, get... Get the fuck off me.
- Give me them fucking keys. - No.
What...
You forget I got a dick, too.
Come here.
- Delee. Delila, Daphanie? - Oh.
Something starting with a D. Come on. D.
- Oh, Dana. - I guess that's it. Where is she?
You know where they're at?
A few days ago, she was at the Grand.
- Off of Vermont. - Classy!
- Right? Simple. - Sure.
She comes back, takes a piece of broccoli,
eats it and was like... "Oh, I don't think I like this."
And I'm like, "You haven't even eaten any food yet."
So that was the beginning of it.
- After lunch... - You stay with her, okay.
I stay with her, we go outside.
Next door, to the coffee shop.
I get Thai iced teas.
And I put them down.
- She drinks out of my straw. - Nice.
Just classy, huh?
- Wait a minute. - Oh, speaking of classy.
- Nice, Oh, jeez. - Oh, boy.
- Fucking Alexander. - Oh, boy.
- Have you not worked with Alexander? - No.
- Please help me. - Get off the car.
- Off the fucking car. - Get off me, help.
Well, here is your chance, if you want to go meet him.
- Nice try. - Please help. Help me, Officer.
Alexandra, Alexandra. It's enough, let him go.
- What's going on? - This lady just attacked me.
- He owes me fucking money. - Is it true?
No, I don't even know her.
I got out of my car and she attacked me.
So a random woman just grabs you and attacks you.
- Yes. - Yes.
Check the pulse.
Alexander.
Girl, what the fuck? You know I don't do that shit.
I don't know. What's happening?
- He owes me money. - I don't owe you money.
- Forty dollars. - Forty dollars?
I don't even know her.
- Why does he owe you $40? - He knows me very well.
Ask him.
Is that your green Passat?
Yeah.
Well we have seen you cruising around for at least 45 minutes.
- I... - So you didn't just park it
- and come down - I just... I...
Like ten minutes ago I was driving around.
- I was on the phone. I realized... - I've seen it. You know what, sir?
I shouldn't be talking and driving the car.
That's it. That's it.
Why does he owe you money?
We made a business transaction.
A business transaction? OK. This is what's gonna happen.
It's Christmas Eve. We'll all go our separate ways.
Because I think that's a lot easier than calling our family
and trying to explain why we have to be bailed out of jail.
What family?
Yeah. We know. You posted a lot at the center.
Yes. At Mary's.
- 7:00pm. - 7:00.
OK. Thank you girls. I'll see you there.
No, no, no.
- Can I help you? - You working?
- Are you a cop? - No, no. Get in.
Make a right, right here on Las Palmas.
I like right here.
No. It's really busy on the streets today, so...
Are you from around here?
No.
I haven't seen you before.
You are beautiful.
What about right here?
No. The block is hot over here.
There's a spot two blocks up.
OK. To the left right here.
So... It's so nice to see some fresh faces out here.
What's your name?
It's whatever you want it to be.
- Yeah? - What... What can I help you with?
You girls usually have some exotic names.
Selena.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Where you from?
Does it really matter where I'm from?
You new? New in town?
I'm from Santa Clarita.
Can we do some French, please? Here.
Cool?
Are these real?
Yeah, they're real.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no. No, no, no. Wait
I go down.
Pull it out. Pull it out.
Pull it out.
What's wrong?
- Is it tucked? - Is it tucked?
- What the fuck? - What the fuck is this?
It's a pussy.
Get the fuck out of my car.
Give me my money. Where did you put my money?
What the fuck is your problem, dude?
Get the fuck out of my car.
- That block you were hanging on? - What a waste of my time.
That's not for pussies.
Alright? You shouldn't be there.
- Fucking homo, man. - Get out of my fucking car.
- That's the wrong track for you. - Fuck you, dude.
Don't work that track. Close the door. Close the door!
Fuck you!
Scotty? Scotty?
What number is the party room?
So, me and my sisters...
Every weekend we would go down to this skating rink,
and every Friday night they would have like a disco theme,
but you would have to bring, like, a guy...
And could never find a guy to go with me, so I had to dance with my sisters.
Hold on.
Yeah?
Chester has any girls here?
Maybe. And who are you?
Does Chester have any girls here?
- Who the fuck are you? - Dana?
- I'm not Dana - No, no, no. I'm looking for Dana.
There ain't no Dana here.
Dinah?
Oh, shit!
What the fuck are you doing? Get the fuck out!
- Where's fucking Dinah? - Who cares?
- Get the fuck out. - Where the fuck is Dinah?
Where she at, girl?
She's in there. But you're not going in there.
- Watch me, bitch! - Get the fuck out!
- Dinah! Dinah! - Get the fuck out of here!
That's where she's at! She's fucking blonde!
- Where's she at? - Get the fuck out.
She's in the bathroom! I'm sorry, guys!
Dinah? Dinah?
Fucking Dinah!
Right here! In there!
What? Hey! Hey!
Who are you?
What do you want?
Oh, my God.
Guys, shut the fuck up! Shut up!
We have neighbors, alright?
- I'm not getting kicked out. - Is that crazy bitch coming back?
She's not coming back. That's what I'm telling you.
She's not coming back.
Girls, go! Go back in the other room! Go! Go!
I better get a freebie next time!
No! You're not getting a freebie, alright?
Did you want me to call the cops?
Yeah, genius.
Let's get the whole precinct down here, you motherfucker!
You have the wrong person!
What's your name?
Dinah!
Dinah, Dinah, Dinah, Dinah!
Razmik!
Hey! Alexandra, come here!
I'm so fucking happy to see you today.
Oh, my God. You will not believe what I have been through!
What happened? Get in.
What a sight for sore eyes!
Thanks for helping, you motherfucker!
- Hurry up! Come on! - Ow!
This is like the second time this month that this happened to me.
I'm tired of being fucking nice to people.
I've got some money for you. Don't worry, man.
I think this is becoming our favorite spot.
Yeah.
- Hi. - Just the wash.
I don't know what's going on with your man,
but it has nothing to do with me!
Who are you talking about?
Fucking name? You want a fucking name?
How about a fucking name?
You know what you're going to get from me?
Me, you and him are gonna have a little sit down, a little chit-chat
about what's really fucking going on.
Who the fuck is him?
I got eight dates a day! Just tell me...
Merry Christmas.
You didn't have to do this.
Yes, I did.
What's that?
My performance. It's going to be at 7:00.
All of my favorite people are going to be there.
Miss Sin-Dee. And Miss Dani....
Wait. Wait. Sin-Dee? Which Sin-Dee?
Sin-Dee Rella.
Looks like someone has a crush.
Sin-Dee's back on the block?
Oh, yeah. She's back. She's back and she's going hard.
- Come here! - Fuck you!
See you later on tonight. I have to go.
- Bye. - OK. Take care.
Say you're not gonna run away on me again!
Not gonna run away.
All right. We're in agreement.
Bring your fucking ass.
She's getting skinnier and skinnier.
Everyone comes to America and gets fat.
Even I gained weight.
But this girl gets skinnier.
I don't gain or lose.
You always weigh the same.
Mom, I'm sorry. I spilled a little bit.
Where are the fruits? Fruits.
Coming right up.
She loves that dog.
She loves that dog very much.
I don't like dogs.
Maybe I'll get used to it.
Everything requires getting used to.
You'll get used to a lot more than that.
Again you want to smoke?
Eat something. Please help yourself.
How are you, Razmik?
Good. How are you?
Good. Thank God.
How is Ashot?
Good. He's growing old... With me.
Any business out there today?
Let her grow up a little and then Yeva can start working also.
Well, I came here to help with the child so they can work.
That's the right thing to do.
That's what grandmothers are for.
So they can help take care of my sweetie pie.
Ashken, she looks like you.
No, she looks more like Razmik.
Especially her smile.
Come here, sweetie.
Come and sit with Daddy.
Come on!
Shut the fuck up! What are you crying for?
Shut the fuck up!
Get your fucking ass in here!
Hello! Where is he at? Where's your fucking friend?
Is this the person you were talking about?
You need to help me! Call Chester!
You gotta call Chester!
What have you done to her?
Yeah, Chester! Where's Chester?
Chester's not gonna be cool with this shit!
You know Chester?
Yes, I know Chester!
Why me? What did I do?
You gotta get her the fuck out of here!
Shut the fuck up! Where's Chester?
I'm not leaving unless you tell me where he is...
Calm down! He's at Donut Time!
At Donut Time! Great!
Hold on, hold on, hold on!
Alright. When you see him, could you kinda not tell him that I'm the one
that kinda told you that he was there?
Time to make the donuts, bitch.
Fuck up!
You know what? I want to see Chester right now!
I can't wait to see that motherfucker!
He doesn't like you. You aren't special.
I know I ain't special,
but I'm his bottom bitch for the last two weeks, bitch!
And when he finds out what the hell you been doing to me,
I swear to God, he's going to rip that cheap ass wig off your head
and shove it up your fucking gaping asshole!
You might be his bottom bitch, but I'm his girlfriend, you fucking whore!
Oh, my fucking God!
You're Chester's girlfriend? Is that what you fucking think?
Chester's got a lot of motherfucking girlfriends
and you are definitely not one of them!
What the fuck do I look like?
Like y'all niggas are going to Red Lobster and shit!
Oh, this my boyfriend!
You are so mad pathetic right now!
You're like home like waiting for him to call and shit.
That's sad. That's fucking sad.
I'm getting dragged around this fucking city is not as sad
as you sitting home thinking your Chester's motherfucking girlfriend!
I'mma perform. Don't worry.
It's gonna blow your fucking mind.
Getting my fucking hair thing. Is that OK with you?
Girlfriend.
Shit. Fucking pathetic.
Girlfriend.
What time is it? What fucking time is it?
What time is it?
Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I'm gonna put Kool-Aid on. That's gonna be it.
She goes on forever. You know she goes on forever.
We're at Donut Time, fucking retard!
We've got something else to do first.
- They'll be here. - Your fans are not here.
Alright, Miss Crawford?
You're going with me. You've got no fucking choice, OK?
Is it a double date with Chester?
'Cause I would really fucking love that.
Come on, we're buddies now. We're buddies. We suck the same cock.
How much you cost? How much can I buy you for, huh?
How much you take me out for out there?
Look at your nasty clothes. You couldn't afford it.
My nasty clothes?
What's this? Tricks 'R Us?
Listen, sweetheart, I'm bumping you.
Next year, OK?
Come on. Move your ass.
Ali, girl! Alexandra, girl! I'm here, girl!
I'm tired, let's go! I didn't think I was gonna make it here on time!
What the fuck is this?
Girl, how late am I? I'm thinking I'm five minutes late, right?
What did you do to her?
Don't worry about her. You gotta go on stage. Come on!
OK.
Look. My friends are here.
Come on. Just come on.
How you doing?
This one has one shoe!
She's from the hills. She hillbilly. Come on, girl!
Merry Christmas.
Good to see you.
Come here, baby.
Has she eaten?
She doesn't eat this kind of food. I will feed her later.
Let's toast to the head of this household.
All the best to you and your family.
Thank you. Wishing you the same.
To your health.
Ashken, you have a great son-in-law.
He's great but he gets tired too much.
I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do with this hair.
It's super straight like those fucking Asian hos.
Is that how you like it?
Yeah. Sometimes. But not all the time.
It don't have to always be like that. Let me do this.
Yeah. Fix your face. Fix that mug. That's what everybody is looking at.
- I need to get these eyebrows done. - Yes, you do.
You know... Why did you bring her here?
Fuck her. We ain't worried about her.
She ain't nobody. Today's about you.
Why you so up on her anyways? With that fucked up face of yours.
Look at her!
You didn't have to Chris Brown the bitch!
I told you what I had to do today. You act like I was playing.
You know when I say shit, I mean it, girl.
You wanna go onstage looking like this?
What, exactly, are you implying?
I imply that you use some of my eye. And let me do what I need to do.
Do you want my help or not?
Your highlight's all fucked off, girl.
You need to learn how to blend.
Your chestnuts are roasting on the bottom of your chinny-chin-chin.
What exactly are you doing to my face?
Trying to make you look better than what you looked like before.
You tried it.
Yo.
- I'm just... I'm so over it. - Yo!
I don't even know what to do.
- Yo! - Bitch, what the fuck you want?
Finish your own make-up. You know how I taught you:
Highlight, highlight, highlight, contour.
Blush, blemish, bomb, bam!
Just stay over there. I don't want to smell that shit!
I'm trying to enjoy it in peace, please. I had a stressful day today.
Come on! Yo. That's my shit.
It's my pipe.
I can feel it.
Oh, girl, hit her. Hit her.
She's smoking' up.
You gonna bring this bitch here, and now you smoking this shit!
Where the fuck is the red lip gloss?
Girl, you seen it. I know you did.
That's for real...
Chester took it.
Took it like a champ.
Let me tell you, Chester is a natural born sailor.
If you trying to upset me it's not gonna work.
I give zero fucks about you and Chester.
Oh, bra! He was all he could be when he joined my Navy!
Does your friend ever shut up?
No. That bitch been talking ever since I met her.
Toyland
Little girl
and boy land
While you dwell within it
You are ever happy there
Childhood's joyland
Mystic, merry
Toyland
Once you pass its borders
- Can I get you ladies something to drink? - Yes.
No, she broke. She ain't got no money.
Again
- Do you want a drink? - Yes!
- I'll bring you some water. - Is it free?
Yes. Water is free.
Childhood's joyland
Mystic, merry, Toyland
Once you pass its borders
You can ne'er
return again.
Whoo! Yeah!
- Thank you. - Go Alexandra, girl!
- Thank you, everyone. - Everybody clap!
Clap! Clap for her!
Thank you.
Girl, that's right. She did that. Yes! She did that.
This next one is one of my favorites.
I hope it's one of yours.
Shit. I need some more of that shit, girl.
Yeah, let's go.
I'm going to go to work.
Now?
Yes, I didn't earn a penny today.
But we're eating.
- So what? - It's Christmas Eve.
So what?
I have no patience for her. Make sure she doesn't make a fuss.
I'll take care of it.
Forgive me, but I have to go to work.
What do you mean you have to leave? You just got home.
I haven't made a penny today. I'm going to work for a few hours.
It's Christmas and I have guests.
It's okay, Mom.
It's okay. You don't have to make money today.
It's Christmas.
What do you mean?
If I don't make money, how do we live?
- It's okay, Mom. - It's Christmas Eve.
Christmas is for Americans. For us, it's another work day.
You live in America now.
Can you please tell her to close her mouth, please?
I'm not in the mood for this.
What did he say?
Yeva, what did he say?
He said he must go.
He speaks English but he doesn't celebrate Christmas.
He should have stayed home tonight.
I know but his real Christmas is on the 6th.
Today isn't his real Christmas.
He was the only man at the table.
He was pouring us cognac. Now we have to pour it ourselves.
Mom, he's the only one working and supporting this household.
Let's not let this ruin our night.
Hey! It's that guy!
- Bye! - Thank you so much.
Okay.
You did good, girl. You sound good tonight, girl.
She sound good, right? She sound good, girl.
Tell her she sound good.
I mean... you did sing and you sang...
Alright, I'm going to keep it real with you right now.
This is not critical, this is not anything like rude,
this is just being real with you...
Honestly, it sounded a little old. Like, it didn't sound like new music.
It sounded like something I'd hear like a long time ago,
know what I'm saying? It's like...
Like I know... Where I'm coming from is I know a lot about the music industry.
I know a lot of people in the music industry.
I myself sing.
- Hello, sir. - Hey.
Do you know if this is still going on?
Oh, look at this. That's cute. No, she's gone.
She was up. She was on. She's done.
She left.
She was with a friend and her name is Sin-Dee.
Oh, the train wreck and the hot mess. Yeah.
They left?
What do you mean they left? Yeah, they're gone.
The cool thing is though, I mean, look, you played in a club...
you got people paying you to play in a club.
I mean, that's pretty cool.
What?
You don't want to talk about how much you got?
She don't want to tell me how much she got paid.
- How much did you get paid? - Girl, she didn't get paid, girl.
- She paid to sing, girl. - What do you mean?
I don't even understand what you talking about.
I can hear you.
You paid... Wait. You paid them to let you sing?
That's... That's sad. Hold up.
So you gave them 20 bucks and said, "Let me sing a Christmas song?"
Girl, stop, it's not like you could do any better anyway, girl.
Mother, I'm not discussing this.
I'm your mother. If I don't talk about it, who will?
Mother, stop.
I'm not cleaning up. I'm going to bed.
Come on. Come on, girl. We're here.
Hey, look who's back. Hi, baby.
- I don't have time for this shit. - Don't be a bitch about it.
Yeah, you're cute. I love your sweater, your fake purse.
What is wrong with you? Are you on something?
Yes. I'm on. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass if you talk to me again.
She's been out of jail for 24 hours, she's already causing drama.
Drama!
You two, stay your asses here until I come get you.
Alexandra, you better watch her, and don't move your black ass.
Girl, where you been?
Chester.
I thought they let your ass out at noon.
Where you been all day?
What? Sin-Sin, sit your ass down.
You know, you could have at least had the decency to come pick me up.
Who the fuck am I gonna get to come pick you up?
You know, I got Nash working on Vermont.
I got Ty on the West Side, right?
I mean I be running around taking care of business and shit,
doing what I do all day. You know, running this shit.
And then, fuckin', it's...
On top of that it's motherfucking Christmas Eve.
You know how these motherfuckers get...
They like, fucking wanna get their last minute shopping in and shit.
I had two dollars. Two dollars. You know what I spent it on?
- What? - The bus and a donut.
Sin-Sin. Sit your ass down.
It don't matter, we here now. Sit down.
Did you at least get me a Christmas present?
Well, I mean, like, like yeah...
Like I get... our gift is like me fucking running shit,
like saving money, like, 'cause I knew you was getting out today.
I was gonna surprise you.
Was gonna take you to Roscoe's tomorrow
for maybe like a fucking, like, a nice Christmas dinner and shit.
Like, I thought that'd be special.
What?
You know, I feel you. But I got you one.
I think you're gonna like it.
And I'm gonna get it for you right now. Hold on...
Where the fuck are you going?
Oh, what the fuck is this shit?
- Fuck her! Fuck her now! Fuck her! - Come on, man.
You wanna fuck her in front of everybody, right?
Fuck her, come on! Fuck her! This is what you want?
Alright, alright, alright!
Twenty eight motherfucking days and you're out here cheating on me with fish?
- I did not cheat on you. - You're a fucking liar!
- Alright! - Everybody on the goddamn block
- knew about it but me. - Hey! I'm gonna call the cop!
You want me to call the cop?
Mamasan, I'm sorry. I'm gonna chill these motherfuckers out.
- Hi. - Hi.
Are you Armenian?
Yeah.
- What's your name, son? - Karo.
Karo, do you know Razmik?
Which Razmik?
Razmik Simonian. He is one of your drivers.
Yes. Of course. I know him very well.
I need you to take me to him right away. Please.
Where do you think he might be?
I am his mother-in-law.
Oh. He should be around the West Hollywood area.
I will find him for you.
Razmik? Razmik? Where is your location?
Razmik is not working tonight.
I knew it. I told her he is not going to work.
What is the matter, Auntie?
How well do you know my son-in-law?
Mom?
We will find him but we may drive all night. Okay?
Yes, drive. It's okay.
This thing busts in and drags me out by my hair, tries to beat my ass,
then she took me to some boring-ass drag queen show.
I ain't no motherfucking drag queen!
I'm losing sympathy for you by the minute.
Hold up. This motherfucking commotion,
this is all that shit at The Grand was about?
- This bullshit right here? - Merry Christmas.
- Yo, I thought that was a bust. - Jesus fucking Christ.
Hold up, listen.
I don't give no kinds of shit about this bitch, alright, alright?
But please, please tell me you didn't lay a hand on Jillian?
Please tell me you didn't go crazy on her?
Why would I lay a hand on Jillian? It's not like your fucking Jillian...
You're fucking Jillian too, aren't you?
Alright! Listen, hold on. I'm gonna have to fuck her up now too!
Calm down. There's been some sort of misunderstanding here, alright?
Who's name you see tattooed here? Huh?
What's that say? What's that name say?
What's that name say? That's your name.
Hey, Mamasan! Come here and read this motherfucker.
What's this say?
You know, you piss me the fuck off sometimes, Chester!
Hey, what's this say?
This motherfucker don't say Dana, does it?
It's Dinah!
Alright, I don't give a fuck what her motherfucking name is, alright,
but Boo... you have got to get ahold of yourself, okay?
You be tripping.
Alright? Hey look at me, look... Who's your man?
Who's heart beats for you? This heart.
Who's your man? I'm your motherfucking fiancé
and you can't be acting this motherfucking crazy.
Did you just say fiancé?
- What? - You two are getting married?
You just went from half fag to full fag!
- Alright... - Get your life!
Shut the fuck up. Come here. Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up. Shut up.
They said you was legit, they didn't say you was a legit homo.
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
You talk when I tell you to motherfucking talk.
Did he just say you were getting married?
Yes, I proposed right before she got herself arrested.
Before I got myself arrested?
Actually you got me arrested when you asked me to hold your teener in my weave.
You're like, 'Oh, Sin-Dee, the cops are coming,
- why don't you hold my teener..." - Are you fucking serious?
"I'll propose to you, we'll get married.
It'll be a pretty thing!"
Listen, listen, listen. I can't be getting popped on that shit,
for you it's just holding, for me it's intent to distribute.
Oh, my God, that is not the T.
This right here, is this what you fucking want?
Okay, okay, okay. Listen, listen. You gotta lower your voice,
they are gonna kick our fucking stupid asses out of here.
Mamasan, I'm sorry, I'm gonna chill these motherfuckers out.
- Stop yelling! - Okay.
This is a business!
Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna buy some donuts. Alright.
I'm gonna buy some donuts,
and then the three of us are gonna fuckin' chill. Chill.
This weather in LA doesn't help to set the holiday mood.
There's no Christmas without snow.
Christmas is Christmas regardless of the weather.
Feels fake.
Los Angeles is a beautifully wrapped lie.
Agree to disagree.
I'm learning English.
- Mamasan, I like your hair. - Alright.
What do you want? Hurry up.
- Do you have watermelon flavor? - No.
Don't you think we should be getting the Christmas donuts?
I mean it's motherfucking Christmas Eve. Like, let's celebrate.
Mamasan, does your husband ever cheat on you?
- Who's gonna marry her smiling ass? - The one who order her offline.
- Look how happy she is. - Hurry up, I have another costumer.
- OK. - What do you want?
Can you come here a second? Just one second.
- Hey, baby, how's it going? - Hey. How are ya?
I'm wonderful. Are you ready for me?
Listen, have you seen Sin-Dee tonight?
Yeah, I've seen her, baby, she's involved in some drama,
but I'm right here.
No, no, I really need to find her, do you know where she's at?
Yeah. I know.
And?
And I know I need a cheeseburger.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Here, this is your cheeseburger.
And some French fries.
Where is she?
Give me that money back.
Here, I'm gonna give you this. Where is she?
She's at Donut Time.
- Big spender. - Go fuck yourself.
At the Long Beach Barbeque Festival,
you said I was the only girl you ever truly loved.
That's true.
You know, people who love people, don't go fucking other people, Chester.
Shit, I did not motherfucking cheat on you.
I'm a businessman, alright? I move product.
That's what I do. Alright, sometimes I gotta test the merch is all.
- How many times did he fuck you? - Don't answer that.
- How many times? - He fucked me plenty, okay?
- How many? - What is fucking wrong with you?
Ten? Like, I never had a pimp who didn't fuck me.
So you had to check your merchandise ten times, Chester?
Alright, listen. Not another word from you.
You shut your fucking mouth.
Twenty eight days and you mean to tell me nobody was taking care of you? Nobody?
- Nobody. - Nobody?
Nope.
Auntie, are you sure you want to keep looking?
What was your name again?
Karo.
Karo, please don't waste my time. Take me to Razmik.
Chester, I was at Twin Towers, not fucking Wasco State Prison.
You really do have a crush, don't you?
Hi, Rizuku!
Okay, I will take you to your son-in-law. But do you know why?
Because he has to understand that even if he does not respect himself...
...he must respect his family.
Shit floats to the surface.
Sit your ass fucking down. No, no, man.
She ain't fucking available.
She with me right now. She ain't fucking working.
We'll be real quick, just 15 minutes.
Yeah, puppy. Just 15 minutes.
Who are you?
Nigga, who the fuck are you? I'm her motherfucking fiancé.
Bounce, motherfucker!
You retired? I didn't know you retired.
- Yes, she fucking retired. - Why didn't you tell me you retired?
Maybe I am available. Maybe it'll be a freebie.
- My cheating fiancé shouldn't mind. - Wait, wait, wait.
Have you ever been to Santa Monica and Highland?
Oh, I don't remember.
You will remember.
Yo, yo, yo, listen. I got a query. You married, right?
Nigga, you got a fucking wife. I know you do.
Yeah.
Yeah. So, when you be fucking my bitches,
you don't consider it cheating, do you?
I'm paying for it. It's not like we're getting married.
Oh, you see? That's the shit right there.
- That's what I'm talking about. - You didn't pay for it, Chester!
He's lucky he's in America. Imagine if he was in Armenia.
Are you available?
I don't think she gots what you want, Ra-Ra.
Nigga, come here. Let me talk to you.
There's his cab. Should I stop here?
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Stop right here.
Cause I'm feeling fucking generous,
I have motherfucking holiday spirit
alright, nigga, I'm gonna get you Pinkberry.
You ever hear of Pinkberry? Oh, man, trust me.
You know what? It's okay.
I don't need money.
Merry motherfucking Christmas, you know what I'm saying?
Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.
Razmik!
That is a cute-ass blouse.
What are you doing here?
- I don't understand. - You said you were going to work.
I am at work. I'm getting coffee.
Girl, she shopped at the same store you shopped at!
Did Yeva bring you here? Is she here?
No, Yeva did not. Karo brought me here.
But she wore it better, bitch!
Nobody asked you, bitch.
I'm not going anywhere until I get an explanation.
Who are these people?
These are just regular people. Come on, let's go home.
I said I'm not going to go anywhere.
Now you got her talking to him in Chinese!
This is funny!
Oh, I see... you are smoking marijuana with these people.
Oh, my God, what are you talking about?
If she's talking about me, I'll fuck her up.
She thinks I'm doing drugs. Can you please tell her I don't do drugs?
- No, he don't do my drugs. - You see?
He just fuck all these bitches. He fuck my bitches.
- Are you crazy? - Prostitution?
No!
How do you say that shit in Russian? Oh... prostituke!
You have to stop starting shit.
Oh, these are prostitutes. These are prostitutes.
She called me a nick niggy, girl!
Ashken, let me explain.
Oh, my God... these are men.
- Wait till you find out about... - Will you stop over there!
Oh, dear Lord, my heart is going to stop.
Will you stop?
I'm going to have a heart attack.
I can't have your wife dying up in here.
Shit, she dying, yo!
You gotta tell her I don't know you. This is my mother-in-law.
Motherfucker, I don't know you. I don't know that bitch either!
Mister Chester!
Hold on! She calling the police!
Yeva, come to the corner of Santa Monica and Highland. Donut shop.
She's calling the police! Your name is Tyrone and I'm Billy!
They ain't never gonna find us!
Your husband is with gay prostitutes.
Corner of Santa Monica and Highland.
Tell that bitch do not call the cops!
Done! Done!
See what you did?
Oh, shit. Who's shit is this? This isn't mine, this is good.
Ashken, listen to me. Let's go home.
Don't touch me.
What do you mean "don't touch me"? Why did you come here?
Hey, there is no fighting in here.
- C'mon, get up. - Don't touch me.
He hurting you? I can call the police if he...
No, no, no. I'm not hurting her.
This is my mother-in-law. She's just a little bit crazy.
No cops, please.
- Did you hear what she said? - Razmik!
"Oh, how was the performance, Alexandra?"
"Oh, it was great. Thanks for asking."
You think the government doesn't know about aliens and spaceships and shit?
You think they not keeping it a secret from us?
- Exactly. That's cool. - That's right. I'm with this bitch.
- I know you're with that bitch. - Not like that.
You are embarrassing me.
No, you are embarrassing us.
C'mon, get up.
What do you want from us? Don't you feel sorry for my daughter?
So did Mr. Falafel have a big dick?
What? Spit it out.
I didn't. I swallowed it.
I know... I... I fucking set that one up, didn't I?
She's going to call the police.
In front of all these people, I'm going to rip your mask off.
Listen to me. Get up. Let's go.
I'm going to find out what you are doing here.
Razmik?
Are you people totally insane? Why did you bring the baby here?
Mom, what's going on here?
Your husband is a dog. Dog.
Mom, what's going on with you?
You think I don't know? I check your bank statements...
Every night he withdraws cash from your account...
What does he spend it on? Them.
This is embarrassing. Please. Let's go home.
Mom, why are you getting involved in my family's affairs?
It's none of your business.
You can pretend to be blind but I cannot.
Get up. We're going home.
I'm not going to allow him to get away with this.
- You see that? You see that? - Sin-Dee, leave them alone.
Help me out, sister...
When your husband goes out and buys a girl like me,
do you consider that cheating?
Sin-Dee, can you please not talk to my wife.
- Sin-Dee, please... - Get your hands off her.
You even know their names? Oh, my God.
- No, let's go. - Of course he knows my name!
Say my name, say my name
Yo, you're the bitch they threw out!
Shut your ass up, girl!
What is the prostitute saying to you?
These are the type of hoes you like? Dumbass hoes like this?
He comes home every night smelling like cheap perfume and you don't say anything.
I know my husband well enough. Come on, let's go.
You think you know him? You are blind.
Razmik, why?
Why what? What? She's been trying to destroy our family from day one.
No, you are.
Razmik, just apologize to the bitch.
Don't be a pussy, yo. Do not apologize for shit, yo!
Shut up and get out of our business, okay?
That's right, Ra-Ra. You should apologize
for taking her to a fucked up hairdresser.
Oh, that's catty, bitch.
What is the prostitute saying to you?
Razmik supports the family. He takes care of us.
What are you talking about? He only takes care of himself.
I'm going home.
Mom, what do you want to do, destroy my family?
I'll see you in ten years, kid!
Oh, my God, I hate men.
I'm going to rip his mask off.
Sometimes a wife has to turn a blind eye.
No! No!
Get her! Throw a donut at that bitch!
Have her, mama. Chester!
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Bitch call me. Yo, your wife is hot.
I just call the cops. You and you and you all get out! Out!
No, no, no. Mamasan, I'm sorry.
Get the fuck out, now.
We cool?
I know what you're trying to do.
Come on, I ain't trying to do shit.
Come on, let me get some of that.
You know you really piss me off sometimes, Chess.
I know. I know.
But it's good to see you, baby.
Good to see you, too.
You know, I kinda wish she didn't tell me.
Wait. You wish who didn't tell you what?
Duh.
What do you mean, duh?
- Hold up, hold up, hold up. - What?
This bitch is the one that told you about this shit?
You the one that caused all this motherfucking commotion?
Her motherfucking ass goes motherfucking crazy
on one of my hoes 'cause you started this shit?
You get my ass thrown out of motherfucking Donut Time
where I conduct my day to day shit, right?
You act so motherfucking high and mighty about this shit.
Yeah, yeah, I see it.
No, no, no, no. But here the thing. Here the thing...
What didn't she tell you?
She didn't tell you that me and her were knocking it three weeks ago.
- Oh, shit! - What?
You didn't wanna fucking tell her that part.
You saved her that shit. You didn't tell her.
- Oh, shit. - Sin-Dee...
Sin-Dee fucking what?
Can you motherfucking believe this shit?
What is he talking about?
I fucked your best friend. Yeah, that's right.
Oh, you fucking didn't tell her?
Oh, that's interesting you fucking tell her about this shit
but not about me and you.
No, no, no. That's right. No, no. Don't get it twisted.
Don't get it twisted, girl.
This bitch don't give no fuck about you.
She don't give no fuck about you.
Don't get it twisted. She jealous. She jealous of my hoes.
You know what I think? I think she jealous of us.
You didn't tell her that shit, did you?
I see what's motherfucking going on here...
I see what is fucking going on here...
This motherfucking girl thing. This is between y'all asses.
This between you two. Right? Right? So I'm motherfucking out.
This is some girl shit. You guys work this motherfucker out.
Let me know when you get it fixed up. Let me know.
Yo, the shit she did to me was just a warm up for your ass, bitch.
You two deserve each other.
- What the fuck are you laughing at? - What?
- She about to get her ass beat. - Shut your stupid ass up.
Shut your dumb ass up.
Sin-Dee.
Sin-Dee, talk to me.
Look, I didn't mean to hurt you, sweetheart.
You know you're my best friend.
You know I love you. I'd never do anything to hurt you.
Say something.
Can I at least take a cab home?
Oh, shit. Like that Armenian dude just left, so...
I mean, I guess you're like shit out of luck.
Get down.
No wonder she's crying having a father like that.
Mother, please.
Sin-Dee...
Sin-Dee, will you just talk to me? Come on.
Y'all got a...
Look...
It was only once. It didn't mean a thing.
Hey.
Yeah... I have a full house. I called in another girl.
So... just hang, okay?
Please, Sin-Dee. I'm sorry.
Great, now get the fuck out of here and leave me alone.
Now let me make my money and go the fuck home.
Hi, are we looking for a party...
- Oh, my God. - Merry Christmas, you tranny faggot.
We pissed on your friend, bitch!
Oh, my God. They just threw fucking piss on me.
It's in my mouth.
- It's in my fucking hair! - Wait, wait.
I don't have no fucking money for new hair.
Oh, my God, come on, come on. Take this off.
Oh, my God.
You know what, why don't I just take these off too, huh?
This has to come off too.
Okay.
Girl... here.
Oh, girl.
Pull that down.
We'll just be bald together.
That actually looks good on you.
Now, as for me...
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