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Hello.
They call me Doom-Head.
Now, I don't call myself Doom-Head, mind you, but they do.
Who's they?
Well, some mysterious folks...
that pay me a whole lot of scratch to do what I do.
And what I do, unfortunately for you...
I do real well.
Now.
Let's get one thing between us straight.
I ain't no fucking clown.
Now, Mr. P.T. Barnum may claim clowns are the pegs...
on which this circus is hung...
but I ain't no fucking clown.
You may think you see a grease-painted performer sitting before you...
who would usually elicit an amused response from an audience...
but trust me...
you do not.
I'm not here to make you happy.
I'm not here to brighten your dismal day...
and I am certainly not here to elicit an amused response.
I am here to end your miserable fucking life.
But first...
First...
I'm gonna bless you with a story.
See, I don't think the last sound to puncture your ear drums...
should be the twang of your body falling apart.
Snap.
Crunch.
Interesting fact...
did you know that a cockroach...
can live up to 168 hours without a head?
I know.
I find this... fascinating.
But what really blows my fucking marbles...
like a 50-cent skank...
I mean the real mind-fucker...
is that for several more hours this same decapitated head...
will keep on trucking for Jesus.
If properly nourished, of course.
You know, all in all, you've got a pretty good run.
But deep down inside...
you must have known it all had to end somewhere.
Might as well be here. Might as well be now.
And it might as well be with me.
Where's my wife?
What did you sick bastards do to my beautiful wife?
She's the mother of our two beautiful girls.
Rebecca, Josephine, they're beautiful.
They're just like her, please.
I know where she is.
Two little clowns I know took a fancy to her.
So I think she might be sticking around for a bit, huh?
...though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil...
Christ almighty...
you Jesus freaks are so fucking sensitive, huh?
Shit.
You should be thanking me, man.
I'm sending you straight to the fucking pearly gates...
with a first-class ticket.
I should apologize in advance for not sharpening this thing.
It might take a couple of extra whacks.
Listen to me. Listen to me.
Please, I'm begging you. I'm begging you.
You don't have... You don't have to do this.
You don't... You don't have to do this.
We can both walk away.
Bring Georgina to me.
And you let us walk away, no one would know.
- Fuck it. - No, no!
You know what they say, Kimosabe.
In Hell...
everybody loves popcorn.
Motherfucker.
Number fucking two.
Hey, Randy, man, I hope you know that "E" stands for "empty", not "eat."
I am hungry, but that's not possible.
Check it.
Suck my motherfucking balls.
No, thanks.
How am I supposed to work with this inferior goddamn equipment?
Is that what the ladies are calling it now?
Trust me, my doo-wally's working fine.
Hey, look here boy...
if this monster break down here in the ass of nowhere...
you gonna get your lard ass out there and you gonna push...
with the bumper up your ass.
Venus, I think it might be time...
to bring back the girl into a gorilla illusion.
- You all got a gorilla? - Yeah, I got a fucking gorilla.
He's in my pants. I call him King Dong.
Hey, filly.
- I assume you're joking. - I am not.
And haven't we got enough to worry about...
without you framing up a new show?
I mean, besides, who's gonna hustle this other shit?
You think I want to be a fucking mechanic?
Fixing these death traps the rest of my life?
I mean, I got dreams.
And they do not include yanking some kid's chewed up arm...
out of the gears of a Tilt-a-Whirl.
Baby, I got dreams, too. You go for it.
Get the fuck off me.
Hey, baby girl...
I mean, what do you think about that talent back there?
I mean, the one with the lop-sided high beams.
I mean, I don't know if she's drunk or retarded.
Seriously?
She's gonna twitch and itch her ass all around the mid-way.
Just like all the new babies do.
But that's why I afraid.
A new wave of crap's coming.
So what exactly is the name of this show of yours?
Okay, dig this.
Professor Ghouldini's Mad Gorilla Monster Show.
I'd go see that show.
The name's got some grab...
but you're still minus one jungle girl.
I could be a jungle girl.
I took a acting class before I left high school.
Just shut the fuck up for two seconds.
That's where Charly girl comes in.
Charly hardly looks like a wild woman of Borneo.
And besides, you know that she is my main hustle in the girly show.
Okay, we dump the whole Borneo shit, okay?
We work a new angle.
The yokels had burnt out on that yarn ten years ago.
What's a yokel?
What's the word on this wacky weed...
this fine sunny, sunny day, sweet Charly girl?
The Midwest says sweet Charly, she got some sweet Rasta shit.
My sweet Charly...
pass your brothers a hit.
It ain't mine, baby.
Yeah, baby boy.
I got to keep my eyes on the road.
This shit's the real deal.
Think you two can handle it?
I try, I try.
First hit's free.
After that you lay out the green...
before Charly gets too mean.
Shit, woman, I'm good for it.
Levon, I got to get in there.
- Levon. - Go away.
Hey, it ain't the Levon show.
- Go away. - Come on, man.
I just got to get something out of the... I got to get...
Goddamn, man, can't you see I'm busy back here?
Shit, that's a lot of woman.
Yeah, what you want that's so important you got to crash my love den?
You're going to give that man a heart attack.
Tell it again, I don't get it. Who had the cake?
Christ, bitch, pay attention this time.
There was a boy named Harold.
Walked in on his grandparents having sex.
Pretty much like this asshole don' walked in on me.
Harold said, "Grandma! What are you doing?"
Grandma say, "Well, we baking a cake.
A few days later, Harold say...
"Grandma, was you and Grandpa baking a cake last night?
Grandma says, "Matter of fact, we was.
How do you know?"
Harold say, "Because I just licked some frosting off the couch."
I still don't get it.
The frosting, where did it come from?
The old man's dick.
The old bastard's jizz was the frosting.
Hello, Congo. How I missed you.
Come on, Roscoe, go get your ass out of here.
I'll get out in a second. What do you think?
I think it's cute. It isn't cute.
So do I.
Rosco, get your ass out of here. You got to go, now, man.
Go on, man. Goddamn.
- Spoiled the... - Come here.
Hey, see?
It still looks boss. Okay?
- Okay, I'll think about it. - I just have to clean it up a little.
I'll think about it, King Dong, I'll think about it.
Hey, oldie.
Got any gas today?
It's a cock-sucking gas station, ain't it?
All right then, fill up this big bitch pronto.
Any of you dumb cunts...
in that ridiculous machine know how to read?
Or are you still using sign language?
Yeah, old man, I know how to read.
Then read it and weep, genius.
Bad sign.
Got a whole lot of lazy effers here in this world, man.
You digging what you see, pops?
I reckon I do.
You can call me Leo.
Lucky Leo, if you know what I mean.
Really? Do you feel lucky?
I got a mattress out back...
and a couple of jugs of gut burner.
Trust me, Leo.
Your prehistoric ticker couldn't survive the ride.
Charly...
Stop fucking with the locals.
Give me a break.
I'm just making friends.
You want to be my friend, don't you, Leo?
You know I do.
See? Just making friends.
You've had enough friends for a lifetime.
Nice puppets, Leo.
You play with that stuff?
I bet you do.
The good Lord pray me for every day
He want me to leave a righteous way
So I don't care what the white man say
Santa Claus is a black man
You know, I'm thinking man, when we get ourself a break...
we need to check out the sound system in the carousel.
Man, them speakers, man, they shot up to shit.
Seriously though, it looks like I'm losing my shit.
I don't normally have this much forehead.
Too young for that.
Hey, man, look, it gonna do what it gonna do.
Yeah, but that's easy for you to say.
Shit take a goddamn nuclear blast to damage that foxy do of yours.
My shit goes south. I can't do no Isaac Hayes.
Will you teach us something?
I'm gonna teach you something. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you.
There's only four things you need to know about this career.
This is the answer to it all!
All right.
Sucky, sucky, sucky.
Fucky, fucky, fucky.
Juicy, juicy, juicy.
Money, money, money!
Hey, sailor.
How many seaman you got in that tin can?
Too many.
Why, you need a lift?
Maybe.
I could fit in very tight spaces.
I bet you can.
So can I.
Y'all headed up Jackson way to go hunting?
No, we're just plowing straight on through to Harleyville.
Planning on doing some hunting?
No. Why are you so concerned with me going hunting?
Just wondering.
You got that domineering great white hunter vibe.
Yeah, it just comes natural.
But we ain't got nothing about any firearms on this truck...
other than a busted old shotgun.
What's it for?
Propping open the air vent.
What if you get in a jam?
Well then I guess I...
bust out my old trusty crowbar...
and back it up with one of these guns.
Pop. See you later, Popeye.
I'ma go get me some spinach.
Yeah, you are.
That's the Moon Man Halloween Party...
on the night that was made for howling.
...we bring you the Wolf Man Jack...
Make-Believe Graveyard Ball.
Starring the leader of the gang at the fang, Wolf Man Jack.
Oh, boy. Good evening and...
Oh, shit.
What the fuck is this shit?
...we got our big Monster Mash Party going here.
Yo, Fats, why are you stopping?
Just because some hillbilly sets up a Halloween la-la...
in the middle of the goddamn road.
- Move this shit to the side of the road. - Why me?
Come on, man, you know it's easier for you to get out than it is for Randy.
Thank you.
Mr. Monkey, I'll go with you.
You ought to know what man checks you.
Hey, Panda, wake up. Come on out and help us.
Jesus Christ, every time I get comfortable.
I'm telling you this is one big-time party.
What the hell is this?
This voodoo, man.
Voodoo schmoodoo, let's move this stuff off.
Come on, go.
What the fuck?
Come on go!
Oh, shit!
The Wolf Man Jack Show.
Well, I say all good things got to come to an end...
and this is the end of the line for us today.
And we sure have enjoyed having you's all here with me and everything.
And I know y'all have enjoyed being had.
Come back next time, and remember...
the old Wolf Man loves y'all. Bye, everybody.
I bid you welcome...
oh, nameless and numbered ones.
Tonight, we are going to play 31.
What is 31, pray tell?
Well, 31 is war.
And as the old saying goes...
war is hell.
In exactly 120 seconds, we will begin.
And all you have to do...
is survive 12 hours...
inside the walls of our own private little hell.
And now...
for the survival odds, as we see fit.
Number one, 50 to 1.
Number two, 500 to 1.
Number three, 100 to 1.
Number four, 60 to 1.
Number five, 500 to 1.
Now, what do you have to do to survive?
Fear not.
We have some very colorful heads for you tonight.
And they're here for one reason...
and for one reason only.
To kill you in the most violent way possible.
Feast your eyes and behold.
Sick-Head.
Happy Halloween, motherfuckers.
Number five.
Blond whore. I'm going to bang you hard.
Number four. Worthless tramp.
Number three. Retarded gringo.
Stupid.
Number two.
Tired little bitch.
Number one.
Filthy scum.
A competition will be nice.
Now, do not be fooled...
by the man-beast I put before you.
This is a true world-class warrior.
He lives to kill.
Sick-Head will not go gentle into this good night.
No, I won't.
Thirty-one has begun!
Welcome to 31.
You now have exactly 12 hours to play.
Happy Halloween.
Fucker.
Jesus, man.
- You almost goddamn it... - No shit.
- See anybody else? - Negative.
The average human is quite resilient.
Events that disgust us one minute...
quickly become infinitely acceptable the next.
Sometimes, the weak ones have the most fight...
or perhaps they're just the luckiest, I don't know.
But as we like to say around here...
the dirtier you work, the luckier you get.
Sounds like it's coming from this room.
- It could be a trap. - This whole goddamn business is a trap.
Okay, okay, I'm going to slide the door.
Get ready with the pipe.
Pull it off.
I thought it was Charly.
I've never been so fucking happy I was wrong.
Fuck.
What is this fucking place?
Number four.
Are you afraid?
Are you looking for me?
Here I am.
Open the fucking gate.
I'm going to put this fucking knife so far up your fucking ass.
I might like that.
You're a fucking Chihuahua.
You think it's funny?
You are funny.
Open the fucking gate.
Fuck you.
I'm coming for you, boy.
Number four always dies first.
We're going to get so friendly...
it's going to kill you.
I'm fucking coming for you.
We'll see, fagot.
Open the fucking gate.
"Open the fucking gate."
I'm coming for you.
- "I'm coming for you." - I'm fucking coming for you.
"I'm fucking coming for you."
Trick or treat, you are dead...
I will smash your fucking head.
Trick or treat, you are dead...
I will smash your fucking head.
Trick or treat, you are dead...
I will smash your fucking head.
Trick or treat, you are dead...
I will smash your fucking head!
Girl! Cool it with the bat.
I'm on your side.
Come on now, child, let's get the fuck out of here.
- Fuck. - Goddamn bitch.
You something with that slugger.
- Is he dead? - I don't know.
Son of a bitch, I think I broke his neck.
Shit, where did he get me?
- I think in the shoulder blade. - Fuck!
I got to stop the bleeding. Here, put some pressure here.
God!
Fuck that...
Hello, whore. Hello, bitch.
- Come one. - Get away from me!
Get away from me. Come on.
- Come on. Get away. - I'll stick it right up your ass.
Come on.
You want to play with me, bitch?
- Come here. - Yes, I'm going.
- You're crazy. - Do you want it?
I like it that way.
Who is the bitch now, huh?
You want?
- You want to play with me? - Yes.
You're crazy, bitch.
I'm out of my mind.
Run, bitch. Run.
Run. Run.
Run. Run, run, run.
You better run, number five.
'Cause I'm gonna go kill number four...
and then I'm gonna come back for you...
and I'm gonna kill you nice and slow.
Okay? Run and hide.
- Go hide. - Fuck!
Go hide.
Damn.
Ten hours and forty-three minutes.
Anything can still happen.
Hello, fagot.
How are you?
You thought I left. No, you owe me money.
Don't you remember, dickhead? Don't you remember?
How do you want to die, huh?
How do you want to die?
Does that hurt, huh?
Are you okay?
I thought you were my brother.
- Fuck you, boy. - Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you! - Fuck you.
Fuck...
You ready to die?
Just fucking do it.
Just fucking do it!
Where are you?
The wolf is here.
Where are you, little bitch?
Where are you?
You want to play with the devil.
The wolf is here.
Where are you, huh?
Number five.
Hold up, do you hear that?
Charly.
Get away!
Strike two. Give me the bat.
Give me the bat.
Today you're going to die for being stupid.
Come here.
I'm going to give you a hard one.
You've got it, bitch.
Again.
Let go of me.
My fucking bat!
I got you, brother. I got you.
I can't believe this is happening.
It's all right. I got you.
I'm too young. Too pretty.
I know, baby. I know.
- Hey, Panda. - Yeah, baby.
Your momma...
- She... - No.
She said she was my momma, too.
That I was her son from another mother.
- She say... - You the brother, like no other, yes.
I... I feel...
I feel tired.
Really, really tired.
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.
I do believe the first kill came rather quickly this year.
I'm rather disappointed.
The first one always does.
It's the second one, the second one has all the drama.
Well, I certainly hope we see a better showing
from the remaining remnants.
We shall see, we shall see.
As we slip into our third hour of non-stop 31 action...
come and enjoy some exquisite dining.
You may want to try the steak kidney pie...
followed by the apple crumble.
Delicious.
For one of you...
this, of course, might be your last supper.
Those twisted fuckers.
Fuck.
This is impressive.
I hate to admit, but this layout...
oh, man, it looks better than me mother's New Year's brunch.
Yeah, and I assume it's all laced with rat poisoning.
No, I'm relatively sure it's safe.
Seriously?
What could possibly make you say that?
Because we're playing their game.
Fuck it. Fuck it, fuck it.
My stomach's so empty, it's touching me back.
Yeah, man.
Are you enjoying that?
Yeah, man.
I feel it.
I feel all of y'all looking at me.
You're judging. Don't.
I ain't made of stone.
Look, man. What happened to me, man...
Levon back there, man, it's fucking horrible.
I mean, man, he was my best-est friend in the whole goddamn world...
before any of you mothers come in the picture!
Your best-est friend's blood is all over my hands.
And that's why I and I gonna stay alive.
I don't do it on an empty stomach.
So you, you and you...
I suggest y'all do the same thing.
Fuck it.
I take it they're out watching us, right?
You bet your sweet skunk ass they're watching.
And listening.
So keep your breathy thoughts to yourself.
You know, we can do this. We just have to stay together.
Charly.
What?
What is going on inside your head?
You want to know what's going on inside my head?
I'll fucking tell you what's going on inside my head.
We need better weapons than this shit.
You're goddamn right, girly.
Hey, anybody remember that story last year, Halloween...
that church group that went missing?
Yeah, I remember hearing something about that.
Just recently on the TV they found the body of the pastor...
- In the dumpster. - ...rotting in dumpster.
Holy shit. That's gonna be us.
- Come on. - No, two-second news story.
You know, and we're forgotten.
- All right, all right, all right. - Not by me.
Stop eating.
Why, why, what wrong?
Spit it out.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
What the fuck?
I sincerely hope you all enjoyed...
your protein-enriched nourishments.
The first re-assessment of the standings are as follows.
Number one, 50 to 1 odds.
Number three at 90 to 1.
Number two at 300 to 1.
And last but not least is number five, 400 to 1.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages...
with exactly nine hours left to play...
I give you Psycho-Head and his brother...
the maniacally mental Schizo-Head.
- There's two of them. - Don't scatter.
Oh, goddamn.
We ain't got a fucking thing to worry about this year, brother.
Look at these sorry sacks of wasted meat shit.
Do we have your attention now, mother fuckers?
You smell that?
Well, I think they're already pissing in their pants.
Yeah. Now, you think you got one over...
because you took out that little shot glass bitch Sick-Head.
Well, he isn't worth a shit.
The only thing he's good for is shooting out of a fucking cannon.
And I don't see a fucking cannon. Do you see a fucking cannon?
No cannon.
So that means you killed half a man.
And it took five of you...
to kill a little itty bitty baby.
Shit.
Hello, ladies.
I am all man, and I am coming for you.
We're gonna fuck all your holes.
Count yourselves lucky.
You got fucked by the best.
Eight hours and twelve minutes.
The fun is just beginning.
I don't hear them anymore.
- Me neither. - Listen.
I think we should find a room.
Barricade ourselves in. Wait it out.
I second the barricade idea.
I'm sick of this hide-and-seek horse shit.
Got to use your head.
They don't want for us to be sitting around all night on our back side.
Okay, hold on. Charly, we haven't heard you in the last half an hour.
What do you say, huh? Your vote counts like mine.
I say we hunt these freaks down and slit their fucking throats.
All right.
Gonna fuck your pussy hole.
We're gonna fuck that tiny little brown hole.
And we're gonna fuck your eye hole, too.
A cock in each motherfucking socket.
We're gonna fuck your mouth hole.
We're gonna fuck your pussy hole.
We're gonna fuck that tiny little brown hole.
And we're gonna fuck your eye hole, too.
What's that sound?
Do you hear it?
It's coming from the fuck doll.
That's no fucking doll.
Jesus Christ, oh, God!
- Panda. Panda. - What the fuck?
Don't flip out on me now, man. Come on.
Help me, please.
I need to go home. Everyone is waiting for me.
Sweet Jesus.
Help me untie her.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What's your name, honey?
- Georgina Victor. - Georgina.
But my husband calls me little Georgie.
Hold the fuck up, hold the fuck up.
- Put me the fuck down. - Panda, what do you think?
We don't take the chance and let her run loose.
She ain't one of them.
Look at her. Look at her.
She might be somebody's daughter for all I know.
This is getting crazy around here.
Shut the fuck up.
Panda, shut the fuck up.
He's right, this is not a good idea.
Please, please, I know a way out.
- I've heard them talking. - I believe you.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Shit, they fucking found us.
We got to secure the door.
I knew it. I fucking knew it.
She sounded the alarm. She sounded the fucking alarm.
You psycho fucking bitch.
Yeah, I know you. Tallahassee, Moline. I know you.
Shut the fuck up, Roscoe.
You don't listen to me. You do not listen to me.
Look at her. Look at her.
Fucking asshole.
You are falling for her.
We've got to get something to block off the door.
How about one of these pipes?
Look at me, look at me.
Are you fucking going to help me or not?
Look at me.
Fuck.
Fuck!
Bless you. Bless you.
I can't get the wires.
- It's in her fucking skin. - Rip it out.
Think it'll hold?
No.
Get me out of here!
Fuck!
I knew it. I knew it.
You fucking bitch.
It's a fucking cage.
Goddamn it. It's a fucking cage.
Check the back.
Goddamn it. I knew it.
I knew it. Goddamn it. Nobody listens to me.
Hi, there, Momma. You miss me?
Georgie!
Look what the fucking cat drug in.
Two blind mice.
See how they're dumb.
Even the fucking mice know how to get out of the maze, motherfuckers.
Looks like I need a new fuck bag.
And after I get done with pork chop, you're it.
Venus, get behind me.
You got to go through me for her.
You're gonna be my fuck bag. Come on, bring it.
All that chivalry is worthless, motherfucker.
Like tits on a boar hog.
- Come on, bitch. - Meet Mr. Fucking Dick Head, sideburns.
Panda!
You fucking bitch.
You do like to make it happen, don't you, bitch?
No, I'll never fucking die!
I don't want to die.
I don't want to be here. They make me be here.
We're all pawns in this stupid game.
We don't want to do it.
You and me, we're the same.
We're the same, brother.
Okay, brother.
That thing's gonna come in handy.
Fuck.
All right, Roscoe, I got you, I got you.
Let's get out of here before that damn thing slams shut again.
Charly, pick up that other chainsaw.
- Fucking chain snapped. - Leave it.
Fuck.
Seven hours and three minutes.
I believe it's time to recalculate the odds.
Prepare to open your purses.
Shit.
How fucked am I?
I don't know, man. It looks pretty bad.
Yeah, it feels pretty bad.
You've got to get this tight enough to keep it shut.
What's that thing you say to the kids coming out of the spook house in tears?
- Why? - Just tell me.
Crying is for pussies, so go grow a pair, you big baby.
Get ready to grow a pair, you big baby.
God.
That wasn't so bad, huh?
Attention, attention.
Number one, odds 40 to 1.
Number two, odds 300 to 1.
Number three, one million to one.
Fuck.
Five, odds 300 to one.
Sex and Death are on their way.
What the fuck is going on?
You see anything?
All I see is a bunch of nothing.
It seems crazy.
Waiting here to be attacked.
Running around with our heads cut off.
Want to give us a chance to get our heads cut off.
Get the others.
Come with me. Shit's going down.
- Come on. Stay here. - What are you talking about?
Be right back.
Ain't no way I going toe to toe with that guy.
All right, my best play is I circle around...
coldcock him from the back side.
Now, once I'm in place...
y'all create a distraction.
Only gonna get one shot. So you got to make it proper.
Death has come to sing its quiet song.
How they hide, for it won't be long.
Death strikes once, and then it's gone.
Where are you, you little fucking cunts?
I want to see you.
Fuck if I'm going to fucking stay here.
Goddammit.
- Come on. - We're right here.
Come on, come and get it.
Baby, behind you.
How nice. The women are here to save the day.
- Come on. - Come, ladies, come here.
- Panda, Panda. - Come, come on.
I want to fuck you!
I'm so scared.
Hi.
Great white hunter.
What am I going to do with you?
Would you like a lick of my lolly?
I remember you.
I'm so flattered you remember me.
Is it hunting time now?
Or how about now?
Don't worry, Popeye.
It's always someone's fault.
Come here, bitch. Come and get me.
Well, I am kind of high from eating all my spinach.
I guess maybe I should really put you out of your misery.
Fuck!
Bitch.
Fuck you.
Motherfucker, come on.
I can feel your fear.
It's like a strange smell.
- Hey! - Scat!
You want her?
Then back off, or I'll slit her fucking throat.
No, no, no, don't, don't, don't.
Don't hurt her.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
You can kill me.
Venus.
Baby, no!
No!
Baby. No!
What are you waiting for?
We can't.
Do it. Do it.
No! No! No!
No!
What do you want to do with her, Charly?
What is the next step?
We must calculate the next step very carefully.
Death-Head was our safety net.
But since he has expired...
Could I suggest Bash-Head?
He can't be trusted to close the deal properly, no.
Fuck you, bitch.
- Maybe Rage-Head. - Too irrational.
Fuck.
I believe there is only one logical...
and still compelling choice.
Oh, yeah.
Doom-Head.
Fuck, fuck. Bitch.
Are we in agreement on that decision?
Agreed.
Fucking yeah.
It is Doom-Head.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Who's going to make the call?
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- Fuck. - Don't answer that phone.
Don't answer it.
It can wait, don't answer it.
Fuck, you don't stop now.
This is business.
Yeah?
Thing is, I really wasn't planning on working this year.
Right now, I got a pretty decent piece of pussy...
with a big 'ol ass spread right in front of me.
Double last year's fee.
Done. I'll be there in 90 minutes.
Who was that?
Fuck off.
Who was it, baby?
That, believe it or not...
was Mr. None Of-Your-Fucking-Business.
Yeah, well, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Well, you can stick your fingers in your dripping twat...
and finish yourself off, or get the fuck out.
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
You know, you're pretty full of yourself.
Nobody messes with Mr. Big Shot. Well, fuck you.
Bitch, when you run a perfect game day after day...
ain't luck, hon. Skill.
Can I at least take a shower before I go?
Negative.
Take that sticking ass and hit the bricks.
Do you hear that?
God, I love that song.
Shit. I wish I was in California.
What am I working with?
Four hours and thirty-seven minutes.
I can kill your whole family in that amount of time.
I'm not crazy, I'm in control.
I'm not crazy, I'm in control!
I'm not. Fuck!
Fuck!
Gentlemen.
Take the rest of the night off.
I'll handle it from here.
Murder school...
well, it's now in session.
Hey, bitch.
Did you really think cutting my head off was going to keep me down?
I got that motherfucker sewn back on pronto, and I am feeling groovy.
See, we ain't human around here. No, no, no.
Ain't you learned shit, yet?
Hey, brother, looky over here.
You want to see something mad funny?
Hey, there number five.
Welcome to the party.
Here's your first question.
What's sicker than fucking a pregnant bitch?
Gee, I don't know.
What is sicker than fucking a pregnant bitch?
Getting a blowjob from the baby.
- Do another one, man. - All right, all right.
Next one, number five.
What is the difference between an onion and a whore?
Oh, shucks, I don't know.
Though I should, 'cause I am a whore. What is it?
Wait, wait, wait, I know this one.
Let me do it, let me do it.
All right, brother, you go ahead.
The difference between an onion and a whore is...
I cry when I cut onions.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
It's okay.
It's all right.
Roscoe.
I had the worst nightmare.
How can a nightmare be any worse than this reality?
It can't.
How long was I asleep?
I don't know.
At this point I don't know...
if it's a minute or an hour.
Where's Charly?
Hey, did...
Where's Charly?
She went down the hall to see what she could find.
You let her go out on her own?
Like I was going to stop her?
You idiot. An idiot.
She specifically said for you to stay here.
Well, that's not going to happen.
Come on, Venus.
Give me a fucking break.
Excuse me for asking, father...
but what exactly is the protocol if we have a survivor?
Doom-Head has never failed us.
He will deliver, as expected.
I mean no disrespect, but that was not the question.
I suggest you make sure your final wagers are in order.
Lovely. Thank you, darling, thank you.
Lovely, lovely, lovely.
Right, my wager.
Five million.
I respectfully decline. I am out.
Of course you are.
Playing with the big boys isn't everyone's cup of tea.
I will take that bet.
And double it.
Charly?
All right, now we have ourselves a game.
So, let us continue.
Charly?
You smell that?
Odd smell.
I didn't yank my crusty old dong out of some whore's asshole...
for a quickie wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
I came to get down and dirty.
Oh, yeah.
Please...
let them live.
What is it about me that gives you...
some impression that I would spare them?
'Cause if that's the case...
then I really got to work on my person to person demeanor.
Unfortunately...
those other fools and idiots gave you the most worthless feeling.
And that feeling is hope.
The unicorn alive shitting the magic rainbow...
it's but an illusion.
Life is nothing but the stinking filthy boneyard...
of dead rotting tramps.
Did you see Venus?
What are you talking about, man? I left her here with you.
Fuck me.
Attention, attention.
Three hours and four minutes.
How time flies.
Victorious warriors win first, then go to war.
While defeated warriors...
they go to war first then seek to win.
Which are you?
I'm a gentleman of war.
So I'll give you a moment of peace and tranquility...
with your fallen comrade.
By the way...
the doors to the outside world are now officially open.
Feel free to wander the grounds.
Come on, let's go.
It's a fucking dead end. A goddamn dead end.
Damn.
What's this?
This, this, this.
This is fucking it. This is fucking it.
Help me, help me. This is it.
- Come on. - It's rising.
Come on. Help me.
What do you think?
It's your best chance.
You mean our best chance.
No, I don't. I can't get down there.
After everything, this is where you bail on me?
No, this shit ain't over.
I can't get down there. I can't.
You can.
Fuck, he's coming. Get in there.
I'll hold him off as long as I can.
Wait, I'm not leaving.
Fucking go.
- I'm not leaving without you. - Get the fuck down there.
- Get the fuck in there. - Get in here with me.
Stupid bitch, get in there. Shut the fuck up and get out of here.
Get the fuck in there.
At least I get to die in the fresh air.
Hey, fuck head!
Get over here!
Get the fuck over here, fuck head!
You trying to fight me or fuck me?
Fuck you.
Fuck.
Number five.
Boo.
In moments of great accomplishment such as this...
I feel the need to celebrate.
I found that the best of times...
happens exactly at the point we lose track of them.
We must train ourselves to extend the moment and learn to live.
Smoke in times of rest...
is a great companion to the solitary soldier.
You know who said that?
Do you know said that?
Do you really think I give a fuck?
It was everyone's favorite revolutionary Marxist, Che Guevara.
Except, I think he smoked a pipe.
I always thought I'd appear rather pretentious with a pipe.
Look into the eyes of a true champion.
Look.
Look into the eyes of a true champion.
That's a good girl.
It's all okay.
Catch your breath.
Catch your breath. It's okay.
It's okay.
There you go.
Relax, little girl.
Well, well, well...
shall we do this white chapel style, then?
Bloody red tears, my dear Mary Kelly.
I have to say I do respect you.
But...
it's time to die.
Weapons down. Weapons down.
Motherfucker!
Thirty-one has come to an end.
You lucky fucking dirty little cunt.
It seems the unthinkable has happened.
We have a winner.
What exactly will you do with her?
I'm going to have to get back to you on that one.
Thank you for another exciting year of 31.
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