1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:01:34,393 --> 00:01:37,593
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to me.

3
00:01:38,693 --> 00:01:41,733
How in hell did I
end up here again..

4
00:01:43,383 --> 00:01:45,400
Fuck off.

5
00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:57,025
My birthday actually began
the way of all my birthdays.

6
00:03:07,644 --> 00:03:10,516
Hello darling. Just ringing
to wish you a happy birthday.

7
00:03:10,644 --> 00:03:13,213
Mom? It's six a.m.

8
00:03:13,224 --> 00:03:16,768
I'm doing the FaceTime.
Una taught me. It's really marvellous.

9
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:20,808
Mum, the point of FaceTime is that you
haven't got to put the phone to your ear.

10
00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:23,808
Oh, please..
Oh, there you are.

11
00:03:23,932 --> 00:03:26,600
This time, 43 years ago...

12
00:03:26,732 --> 00:03:30,335
I was having a lamb beriyami in an
attempt to coax you out.

13
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:34,216
23 hours of labour.
Never been the same down there.

14
00:03:34,308 --> 00:03:37,813
It's a miracle, the gift of childbirth.
- Here it comes.

15
00:03:37,824 --> 00:03:41,144
Penny Husband-Bosworth's son
sells his sperm on the internet.

16
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,257
You don't need a man, Bridget.

17
00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:46,452
Some people have marvellous lives
without them. Look at you.

18
00:03:46,463 --> 00:03:49,060
Nice flat, lovely job...

19
00:03:49,184 --> 00:03:52,268
Nice flat...
- I'm putting the phone down now, mum.

20
00:03:53,504 --> 00:03:56,432
Say happy birthday to Bridget.
Colin?

21
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,184
Happy birthday to Bridget.

22
00:03:58,976 --> 00:04:00,438
Thank you.

23
00:04:00,613 --> 00:04:02,644
I love you darling. Now don't forget...

24
00:04:02,768 --> 00:04:05,436
I'm counting on you to head up
my media campaign.

25
00:04:05,447 --> 00:04:09,184
It's the parish council elections, mum.
Not the US primaries.

26
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:16,600
The annual phone call from mum reminding
me to take my ovaries out of retirement.

27
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:20,768
The truth was that by now I thought
I would have had a little baby to love

28
00:04:20,892 --> 00:04:23,100
with the chisel jawed love of my life.

29
00:04:23,224 --> 00:04:26,768
But sometimes life gives
you shallower compensations

30
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:30,392
and at least I was finally down
to my perfect weight.

31
00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:33,144
Good morning, Ms. Bridget.

32
00:04:33,268 --> 00:04:34,852
You look beautiful again today.

33
00:04:34,976 --> 00:04:37,684
There was life in the old dog yet.

34
00:04:37,808 --> 00:04:40,852
Haven't exactly been put out to grass.

35
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:42,976
Hah! Ding dong..

36
00:04:44,144 --> 00:04:47,768
But this year all these things
were brought into sharper focus...

37
00:04:47,892 --> 00:04:52,016
by an event I hadn't expected
to attend quite so soon.

38
00:05:04,899 --> 00:05:05,899
Hi.

39
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,881
So how are you feeling?
Are you ok?

40
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:14,104
Mm. Yeah.

41
00:05:14,115 --> 00:05:16,335
I just can't believe he's gone, really.

42
00:05:36,846 --> 00:05:39,422
His death seems to have
hit the eastern European

43
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,022
teenage modelling community
particularly hard.

44
00:05:43,892 --> 00:05:47,060
They found the flight recorder
but still no bodies.

45
00:05:48,008 --> 00:05:51,476
Strangely fitting that he should
have died going down in the bush.

46
00:05:57,476 --> 00:06:01,060
We are gathered here
to celebrate the life...

47
00:06:01,184 --> 00:06:04,749
of Daniel Vivian Cleaver.

48
00:06:04,852 --> 00:06:09,932
Daniel was a kind and wonderful son...

49
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,145
Fuck. What the fuck is he doing here?

50
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:18,144
You know what he's like,
wanting to do the decent thing.

51
00:06:18,744 --> 00:06:20,255
Is that his wife?

52
00:06:21,684 --> 00:06:24,392
Did I ever get over losing Mr. Darcy?

53
00:06:24,745 --> 00:06:27,037
Was he my Mr. Right?

54
00:06:27,308 --> 00:06:28,560
Oh Christ.

55
00:06:28,684 --> 00:06:33,892
A man of outstanding charm and charisma.

56
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:37,771
Just a bit emotional.
- I would like to invite his loved ones up...

57
00:06:38,684 --> 00:06:43,684
to share some of their memories of Daniel.

58
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,892
Daniel could be very sensitive ...

59
00:06:48,109 --> 00:06:50,916
Make you feel like you were
the only woman in the world.

60
00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,589
I first met Daniel in Moscow.

61
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:56,509
He once took me rowing on the
Serpentine and quoted Keats by heart.

62
00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,224
He could quote Keats by heart.
- Where be ye going,you Devon maid.

63
00:07:00,352 --> 00:07:03,516
And what have you there in the basket?
- Where are you going, you Devon maid.

64
00:07:03,644 --> 00:07:06,224
And what have you there in the basket?

65
00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:10,505
You tight little fairy,
just fresh from the dairy.

66
00:07:10,516 --> 00:07:13,144
Will you give me some cream if I ask it?

67
00:07:17,392 --> 00:07:19,020
He did it to everyone.

68
00:07:19,432 --> 00:07:22,724
Anybody else like to say a few words?

69
00:07:23,169 --> 00:07:24,709
Say something for his mum.

70
00:07:27,932 --> 00:07:29,308
Come on.

71
00:07:41,892 --> 00:07:44,515
Daniel was a man ...

72
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:51,278
who touched many of us here today,
including me.

73
00:07:55,106 --> 00:07:56,190
Oh dear.

74
00:07:57,224 --> 00:08:00,745
This is when Daniel would say,
"Shut up, Jones."

75
00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:05,144
And he would be right,
because all I really need to say is...

76
00:08:06,016 --> 00:08:09,852
Dear Daniel, I will miss you terribly.

77
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:11,852
We all will.

78
00:08:17,976 --> 00:08:20,684
Give you a call?
- Yes very good. Bye bye.

79
00:08:21,476 --> 00:08:23,426
Bridget.
- Mark.

80
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,472
This is Camilla.
- Hello.

81
00:08:26,483 --> 00:08:28,494
Bridget, an old friend.

82
00:08:28,505 --> 00:08:31,773
Well, less old, more childhood.

83
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:34,735
So...

84
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:39,003
Nice memorial, as memorials go.

85
00:08:39,023 --> 00:08:42,345
Almost makes one look
forward to one's own.

86
00:08:44,414 --> 00:08:46,166
Yes, well...

87
00:08:47,357 --> 00:08:49,317
Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

88
00:08:52,948 --> 00:08:56,219
Maybe that's the reason Mark
Darcy and I never made it.

89
00:08:56,414 --> 00:09:00,746
I always felt like a verbally incontinent old maid,
even when we were together.

90
00:09:01,352 --> 00:09:04,284
Still, I wasn't going to
dwell on the negatives.

91
00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:07,184
At least no-one at work
knew it was my birthday.

92
00:09:07,442 --> 00:09:09,996
Or indeed, how old I was going to be.

93
00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:12,060
Surprise.

94
00:09:13,224 --> 00:09:15,600
Congratulations, Bridget.

95
00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:18,195
Or so I thought.

96
00:09:18,743 --> 00:09:20,495
Who told you?

97
00:09:20,506 --> 00:09:23,050
It's so hot. So many candles.

98
00:09:31,268 --> 00:09:34,360
Isn't there some sort of statute
of limitations about the

99
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:37,660
number of sodding candles on a cake
once you get to a certain age?

100
00:09:38,653 --> 00:09:43,265
Josh, I need you to see what Reuters
is saying about the attacks on Ramallah.

101
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,965
We might need a live link. And Laura...

102
00:09:44,976 --> 00:09:47,759
I may have been another
year older and still single...

103
00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:51,857
but I could always take consolation
in my job as top news producer.

104
00:09:51,868 --> 00:09:54,844
So, how will I be changing
the world today?

105
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:57,943
Well, our main feature is the
exclusive interview...

106
00:09:57,954 --> 00:10:00,724
with the Foreign Secretary about NGochi.

107
00:10:00,852 --> 00:10:03,940
Oh, gee. How did you do that?
- NGochi.

108
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,389
NGochi.
- You're good at that.

109
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,100
I know. I've been practising. NGochi.

110
00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:13,839
It's harder than you think.

111
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:16,270
Plus, have great new 30
something work colleagues

112
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,670
who are not obsessed with
children and marriage.

113
00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:20,864
How do we plan on celebrating tonight?

114
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:24,537
Well, night out with the gang.
- Please say that involves group sex.

115
00:10:24,548 --> 00:10:27,291
Gangbangs?
Ooh, we'd like to do that.

116
00:10:27,302 --> 00:10:29,793
I know a smashing little club
in the back of Berwick Street.

117
00:10:29,804 --> 00:10:31,685
Chance would be a fine thing.

118
00:10:31,696 --> 00:10:34,543
I'm beginning to think I'm
past my sexual sell by date.

119
00:10:34,554 --> 00:10:37,437
No. There are names for women
like you now, Bridge.

120
00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:39,779
You're a cougar. You are a MILF.

121
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:45,449
I'm not a MILF, I'm not even a mum.
I am a spinster, I'm a SPILF.

122
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:49,688
Three minutes 'till we're on air.
- It's called Voyeurz with a 'z'.

123
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:51,506
You tell them that Cathy sent you.

124
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:55,116
If you go on a Thursday there's a Chinese buffet.
All you can eat, as it were.

125
00:10:56,352 --> 00:11:00,979
But whose advice was, never the less,
sometimes a tad too modern for me.

126
00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:04,259
It's me, checking talk-back.
- Yep.

127
00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:06,875
You didn't freeze your eggs
by any chance, did you?

128
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,475
No, I imagine they're
hard boiled by now.

129
00:11:09,486 --> 00:11:11,514
You know what, Bridge? This weekend...

130
00:11:11,525 --> 00:11:14,476
you and me need to go out,
and get stuck into some serious...

131
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,706
"Binge drinking, a dangerous scourge on society."

132
00:11:18,717 --> 00:11:20,710
Is new legislation needed?

133
00:11:21,684 --> 00:11:25,464
Bridget, Miranda, I've told you,
don't talk between the bongs.

134
00:11:25,814 --> 00:11:28,005
Stick to the questions on the cue cards.

135
00:11:28,129 --> 00:11:29,173
Miranda. Cue.

136
00:11:29,184 --> 00:11:31,701
The Foreign Secretary will
be live in the studio...

137
00:11:31,712 --> 00:11:34,802
to talk about the looming
crisis in Muribundi.

138
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,947
You can always try online dating again.

139
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:41,978
The other night I was on Tinder.
Half an hour later I'm having a 3-way with...

140
00:11:41,989 --> 00:11:45,969
Prince Andrew, the Royal Special
Representative for Trade and Investment...

141
00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:49,607
He did that on purpose.
...has just written his first children's book.

142
00:11:49,712 --> 00:11:51,499
He had a massive cock.

143
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:56,828
Live in the studio I'm joined by
Foreign Secretary George Wilkins...

144
00:11:56,839 --> 00:11:59,388
who has just returned from
war ravaged Muribundi...

145
00:11:59,399 --> 00:12:01,310
Miranda, I'm in your ear.
Just follow my lead.

146
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,366
... Where the assassination of
bloody dictator Charles NGochi...

147
00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:07,516
has resulted in civil war.
- One shot, come back to four. Four.

148
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,760
Minister, was this a military coup?

149
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,660
- Well, the signs are that NGochi's
own generals did take him out...

150
00:12:12,684 --> 00:12:14,589
Hi, Tom. I can't talk.

151
00:12:14,843 --> 00:12:17,949
How was Daniel's memorial?
- It was just sad.

152
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,774
I can't believe he's gone.

153
00:12:19,785 --> 00:12:22,426
It's sad.
I can't believe he's gone, actually.

154
00:12:25,063 --> 00:12:28,020
Ah... I don't think there was any
particular sadness in his passing.

155
00:12:28,031 --> 00:12:31,344
His persecution of the Ubuntu
people amounted to genocide.

156
00:12:31,355 --> 00:12:34,741
And that is well documented.
- I know he had his flaws.

157
00:12:34,752 --> 00:12:37,908
Well, I know he had his flaws.
- He could be a massive asshole.

158
00:12:37,919 --> 00:12:39,757
He could be a massive asshole.

159
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:45,596
But I miss him. We all do.
- But I miss him. We all do.

160
00:12:46,263 --> 00:12:50,766
Well, he was certainly a very colorful
character on the world stage Miranda...

161
00:12:50,777 --> 00:12:53,243
I grant you that, but I think the genocide...

162
00:12:53,254 --> 00:12:56,977
resulting in the deaths of over 10,000 of his
own people, men, women and children...

163
00:12:56,988 --> 00:12:59,385
probably rather put him on
the wrong side of history.

164
00:12:59,396 --> 00:13:01,212
At least he was never boring.

165
00:13:01,312 --> 00:13:03,212
Well, at least he was never boring.

166
00:13:04,398 --> 00:13:06,268
One, two, three clear.

167
00:13:06,392 --> 00:13:10,092
Do you think a spirit of democracy can
carry over into West Africa...

168
00:13:10,103 --> 00:13:11,803
Now that's NGochi's dead?

169
00:13:11,814 --> 00:13:14,801
Do you think, minister,
that the spirit of democracy can

170
00:13:14,801 --> 00:13:17,701
carry over into West Africa
now that NGochi is dead?

171
00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:20,482
Well now, that is an interesting question.
Finally.

172
00:13:20,493 --> 00:13:22,155
We're running out of time.
- Miranda, wrap it up.

173
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:24,264
Briefly, please, Minister.
- Well it is a complicated issue.

174
00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:25,633
A 'yes' or a 'no'.

175
00:13:25,748 --> 00:13:28,505
Miranda, make it the last answer.
- Let's hope so.

176
00:13:28,964 --> 00:13:31,643
I'll take that.
Thank you for joining us on the sofa today.

177
00:13:31,654 --> 00:13:33,048
Over to you, Toby.

178
00:13:35,268 --> 00:13:37,476
Thank you, Miranda, Bridget.

179
00:13:37,923 --> 00:13:41,253
You couldn't just behave yourselves when
the new management team were here?

180
00:13:41,264 --> 00:13:42,802
They're the new management team?

181
00:13:42,813 --> 00:13:45,732
That is Alice Peabody,
new brand manager.

182
00:13:45,956 --> 00:13:49,475
Apparently 'Hard News' is too old fashioned,
too serious...

183
00:13:49,486 --> 00:13:53,807
and she is the smiling assassin, brought
in to sack anybody older than her.

184
00:13:53,859 --> 00:13:58,697
Everybody's older than her. I've got tins
of soup in my cupboard older than her.

185
00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:04,044
Look at them all. With their
apps and their ironic beards

186
00:14:04,055 --> 00:14:06,663
Maybe one of them could
get Bridget some sex.

187
00:14:06,674 --> 00:14:08,580
What?
- Bridget? Do you need sex?

188
00:14:08,591 --> 00:14:09,600
No.
- Yes.

189
00:14:10,186 --> 00:14:14,329
That's why I'm taking her on an a girls
weekend to beat all girls weekends.

190
00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:18,567
Bridget, isn't it?

191
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:21,586
Yes, nice to...
- Team meeting tomorrow morning.

192
00:14:21,597 --> 00:14:23,601
We can do introductions then.

193
00:14:31,106 --> 00:14:32,368
Nine a.m.

194
00:14:32,999 --> 00:14:35,313
We should all start an
hour earlier from now on.

195
00:14:37,614 --> 00:14:40,726
Do you think she saw that?
- Quite possibly not.

196
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,996
And you're sure you don't want to
come out with me and my crew?

197
00:14:44,774 --> 00:14:47,489
Thanks, but can't let the old gang down.

198
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,799
They're stay at home moms now.
They'd be disappointed.

199
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:06,769
Thank God for the gays.

200
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:13,609
Now, whatever fears you're
bringing in the room with you today...

201
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:17,895
I want you take those fears and I want
you to tell them to fuck the fuck off.

202
00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:18,906
Yeah!

203
00:15:20,432 --> 00:15:24,224
Are you ready for this?
- Yes.

204
00:15:24,352 --> 00:15:27,432
Then ride, you sexy bitches! Ride!

205
00:15:32,177 --> 00:15:35,615
Look, I'm so sorry, Bridget, but I'm actually
going to have to blow you out too.

206
00:15:37,516 --> 00:15:42,152
I didn't want to have to tell you this today,
but Eduardo and I are adopting.

207
00:15:42,493 --> 00:15:43,701
Adopting?

208
00:15:44,617 --> 00:15:47,722
What, a baby?
- Yes, a baby.

209
00:15:48,436 --> 00:15:50,364
Or gayby, in our case.

210
00:15:51,027 --> 00:15:54,169
That's fantastic news, Tom.

211
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:57,377
I'm going to Bogota tomorrow to start
the paperwork so I've got to go and pack.

212
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:59,512
Wonderful, go.

213
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,420
Happy Birthday. Have fun.

214
00:16:01,512 --> 00:16:03,602
Congratulations.
- Thank's darl.

215
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,816
Fucking excellent.

216
00:16:08,295 --> 00:16:11,866
And that was how I wound
up back here again.

217
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,754
The last barren husk in London...

218
00:16:14,796 --> 00:16:20,786
and of the two loves of my life,
one is married and the other is dead.

219
00:16:22,517 --> 00:16:25,391
Right, new birthday resolutions.

220
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,218
I, Bridget Jones am done
with affairs of the heart...

221
00:16:28,229 --> 00:16:32,268
and dedicating my autumn
years to the pursuit of hedonism.

222
00:16:32,279 --> 00:16:35,471
Will hang only with new free
spirited friends like Miranda...

223
00:16:35,482 --> 00:16:40,776
and when the going gets tough,
the tough go on a luxury spa weekend.

224
00:16:42,289 --> 00:16:44,017
What the fuck.

225
00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:47,192
Love the shoes.

226
00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:04,150
I didn't tell you, because
you wouldn't have come.

227
00:17:04,237 --> 00:17:06,397
Seriously, it's been five years.

228
00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:10,408
You've gotta shake yourself out of this
self imposed purge you've been in...

229
00:17:10,419 --> 00:17:13,341
ever since you split up with your
precious Mark Darcy.

230
00:17:13,352 --> 00:17:15,367
Rubbish.
I barely think of him.

231
00:17:15,378 --> 00:17:17,900
What you need is a good shafting.

232
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:21,646
You need some good old fashioned,
lie back and think of England bonking...

233
00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:27,329
and festivals are sexual free for alls
like Sodom and Gomorrah with tofu.

234
00:17:27,348 --> 00:17:29,559
First man you meet you've
gotta sleep with.

235
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,236
The first man?
I'm not taking no for an answer.

236
00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:36,031
I'm gonna find our backstage passes.
You get the maps.

237
00:17:41,676 --> 00:17:42,776
Maps.

238
00:17:42,787 --> 00:17:47,738
I may be old and inappropriately dressed,
but at least I look fucking amazing.

239
00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:57,776
That's exactly why I didn't wear my heels.

240
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,608
Ding fucking dong.

241
00:18:00,619 --> 00:18:01,619
May I?

242
00:18:17,994 --> 00:18:19,326
Thank you.

243
00:18:24,101 --> 00:18:25,944
It fits.

244
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:31,792
Bridget.

245
00:18:32,555 --> 00:18:33,998
Bridget.

246
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:37,776
Is that your wicked stepmother?
- Yes.

247
00:18:37,976 --> 00:18:41,776
I better go before she has me
sweeping fireplaces all day.

248
00:18:43,429 --> 00:18:45,196
Thank you.
- You're welcome.

249
00:18:46,664 --> 00:18:48,695
Ah ha. Birthday resolution number two.

250
00:18:48,706 --> 00:18:52,487
Must remember the way to a man's heart
is not through beauty, sex or love...

251
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:53,498
It's Jack.

252
00:18:53,607 --> 00:18:57,692
but merely the ability to
fall arse over tit in the mud.

253
00:18:57,755 --> 00:18:59,087
By the way.

254
00:19:00,387 --> 00:19:01,387
Right.

255
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:05,692
Which one's ours?
- Let's try up here.

256
00:19:05,951 --> 00:19:09,203
And anyway, it's not camping,
it's glamping.

257
00:19:09,287 --> 00:19:12,509
Putting a G L in front of it
doesn't make it any better.

258
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:17,112
Calling him Gladolf Hitler wouldn't suddenly
make you forget all the unpleasantness.

259
00:19:23,276 --> 00:19:26,372
Oh... fuck me!

260
00:19:31,457 --> 00:19:33,165
NGochi.

261
00:19:37,194 --> 00:19:39,711
NGochi.

262
00:19:41,276 --> 00:19:44,493
NGochi.

263
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:52,702
It's 2:30 in the afternoon.
I should be Hoovering.

264
00:20:08,536 --> 00:20:11,798
This is incredible.
We've got to get a photo.

265
00:20:12,227 --> 00:20:13,409
Excuse me?

266
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,009
Do you mind if we ask you
to take a photo of us?

267
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:18,852
Yeah, sure.
- Thank you.

268
00:20:20,931 --> 00:20:23,108
Alright. Are you ready?
Hey. What're you doing?

269
00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:25,191
I was taking your photo.

270
00:20:25,202 --> 00:20:28,057
I thought you guys wanted a photo.
- Yeah, we do. Of us.

271
00:20:28,524 --> 00:20:32,132
Yes. Terribly sorry. We thought it'd
be really fun to get a photo of us...

272
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:33,906
backstage among all these glamorous people.

273
00:20:33,917 --> 00:20:35,981
I think that's the guy from 'Bargain Hunt'.

274
00:20:35,992 --> 00:20:39,275
It'd be great if you could get him in the shot.
- Quick. Quick.

275
00:20:39,362 --> 00:20:43,263
So you don't want me in the photo at all?
- No, and you can lose the attitude, babe.

276
00:20:43,274 --> 00:20:45,108
Is it really that difficult?

277
00:20:45,481 --> 00:20:48,856
They let any old riff-raff backstage nowadays.

278
00:20:48,867 --> 00:20:52,984
I don't know. I thought he was
kind of cute. He looks familiar.

279
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,786
I think he works
at the Starbucks at Balham.

280
00:21:05,810 --> 00:21:08,024
One, two, three, singing.

281
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,586
Oh my God.

282
00:21:17,872 --> 00:21:21,524
I know. It's the guy from Starbucks.

283
00:21:21,535 --> 00:21:23,035
Crowdsurfing.

284
00:21:41,873 --> 00:21:43,333
Miranda.

285
00:21:45,225 --> 00:21:46,597
Miranda?

286
00:21:48,442 --> 00:21:49,858
Miranda?

287
00:21:54,263 --> 00:21:55,568
Hey, Miranda.

288
00:21:56,605 --> 00:21:58,595
Oh, God.

289
00:22:00,745 --> 00:22:04,152
I have to admit, that was fun.

290
00:22:04,985 --> 00:22:06,609
And you're right ...

291
00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:11,067
What I need is a good shafting...

292
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:16,782
some good old-fashioned,
lie back and-think-of-England...

293
00:22:17,473 --> 00:22:18,900
bonking.

294
00:22:19,330 --> 00:22:20,692
Well, sign me up.

295
00:22:21,854 --> 00:22:23,524
Oh my God.

296
00:22:25,015 --> 00:22:27,358
What are you doing in my yurt?

297
00:22:28,666 --> 00:22:33,232
With all your clothes, and
luggage and possessions.

298
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:36,685
Yeah, it's as if I've come in,
made it my own.

299
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:40,066
Wait, it's you,
the creature from the Black Lagoon.

300
00:22:40,264 --> 00:22:41,652
Yes. Sorry.

301
00:22:41,663 --> 00:22:45,900
You don't really expect me to believe that you
accidentally crashed into my yurt, do you?

302
00:22:47,045 --> 00:22:50,442
Since you're here, maybe I can help you.

303
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:54,108
Well, he is the first man I met...

304
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,650
and his yurt is one heck
of a lot nicer than mine.

305
00:22:58,692 --> 00:23:03,152
Bridget, where the fuck are you?

306
00:23:03,276 --> 00:23:07,632
Bridget, I'm so pissed.

307
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:53,944
Bridget.

308
00:23:55,008 --> 00:23:59,776
I'm zorbing with Ed Sheeran.

309
00:24:23,944 --> 00:24:25,524
Oh, God.

310
00:24:25,559 --> 00:24:30,652
I just slept with a complete stranger.
I'm nothing but a feckless prostitute.

311
00:24:31,776 --> 00:24:36,108
No, no. I'm an elegant older woman
taking men for my own pleasure.

312
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,838
Or am I just a deluded middle-aged fool?

313
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,152
Oh, fuck it.

314
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,152
Miranda?

315
00:24:52,932 --> 00:24:54,140
Good morning.

316
00:24:56,108 --> 00:24:58,444
So it lasted six hours?

317
00:24:58,568 --> 00:25:01,276
What lasted six hours, mum?

318
00:25:01,984 --> 00:25:05,232
A puppet show that Auntie Bridget went to.

319
00:25:05,944 --> 00:25:09,349
A six-hour puppet show?
- Hello.

320
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,108
Tell me, were they little puppets or...?

321
00:25:12,232 --> 00:25:14,108
Very nice size puppets.

322
00:25:14,776 --> 00:25:17,484
And did he...

323
00:25:18,608 --> 00:25:20,768
put his puppet in your mouth?

324
00:25:23,316 --> 00:25:26,457
God! I feel like my days
of puppet shows are behind me.

325
00:25:30,568 --> 00:25:32,507
I've had finger puppets.

326
00:25:35,108 --> 00:25:38,816
And has he called?
- It doesn't work like that any more.

327
00:25:38,944 --> 00:25:42,316
You just hook up with rugged
troubadors at music festivals...

328
00:25:42,327 --> 00:25:44,185
and there are no strings.

329
00:25:44,732 --> 00:25:46,652
Puppets with no strings.

330
00:25:47,438 --> 00:25:49,511
Take the wings off.
They're for little girls.

331
00:25:50,524 --> 00:25:52,154
Hello?
- Where the fuck are you?

332
00:25:52,165 --> 00:25:56,134
Speeding through lovely countryside
on our way to your christening.

333
00:25:56,145 --> 00:25:59,237
No we're not.
Why is auntie Bridget lying?

334
00:25:59,984 --> 00:26:02,743
Bridge, I thought you should
know after Tom dropped out...

335
00:26:02,754 --> 00:26:05,015
Giles asked Mark to be the godfather.
- What?

336
00:26:05,026 --> 00:26:06,423
He did what?

337
00:26:06,463 --> 00:26:08,652
Yes I know. He really
is a useless cock.

338
00:26:08,663 --> 00:26:10,316
Did it without asking me.

339
00:26:11,623 --> 00:26:15,459
Oh my God. Mark Darcy again.

340
00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:20,239
Twice in the space of a week I turn
up at church as rent-a-spinster.

341
00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:26,533
Where the fuck were you?

342
00:26:32,163 --> 00:26:33,941
Sorry.

343
00:26:38,117 --> 00:26:40,507
Good morning and welcome.

344
00:26:40,518 --> 00:26:45,452
Well, this isn't embarrassing at all.
Mark Darcy and I at the altar with a baby.

345
00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:47,980
That's lovely.

346
00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:50,999
Ok, now, nice big smiles.
Look at me. Thank you.

347
00:26:51,010 --> 00:26:52,287
Lovely.

348
00:26:52,298 --> 00:26:54,890
Ok, can I just get
the godparents now please.

349
00:26:56,540 --> 00:26:59,669
How are you?
- Very well, thank you. How are you?

350
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,405
Well, thank you.
Mm.

351
00:27:01,604 --> 00:27:04,892
Are you here with your wife?
I can't remember her name...

352
00:27:05,135 --> 00:27:08,960
Camilla. No, eh, no, she couldn't make it.

353
00:27:09,330 --> 00:27:12,695
Are you here with anyone?
- No, no. Not today, no.

354
00:27:13,123 --> 00:27:15,068
Come on, it's not a funeral.

355
00:27:15,192 --> 00:27:17,121
Can I get a couple of
smiles out of you two, please?

356
00:27:17,132 --> 00:27:19,645
Maybe give her a little kiss
you know, on the forehead, there.

357
00:27:23,038 --> 00:27:24,900
Ah, I was talking about the baby.

358
00:27:29,730 --> 00:27:31,652
Lovely.

359
00:27:31,976 --> 00:27:34,384
Alright. I'll see you later,
shouldn't wonder.

360
00:27:34,395 --> 00:27:37,993
Yes, unless I make a break
for it with this thing.

361
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,866
Could this day actually get
any more awkward?

362
00:27:42,071 --> 00:27:45,206
Just keep walking, keep walking,
keep walking. Keep walking.

363
00:27:56,524 --> 00:27:58,794
Hello.
- Hello.

364
00:27:59,404 --> 00:28:02,087
How are you?
- Very well, thanks.

365
00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:03,558
How are you?
- I'm fine.

366
00:28:04,034 --> 00:28:05,406
So am I.

367
00:28:07,087 --> 00:28:09,464
Well, goodbye.
- Goodbye.

368
00:28:10,676 --> 00:28:12,520
A glass of wine.
- A whiskey, please.

369
00:28:12,531 --> 00:28:14,245
Big, big glass.
- Double.

370
00:28:14,256 --> 00:28:15,483
Thank you.

371
00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:54,944
I'd ask you to join me, but I'm pretty sure
you're not a big Gangnam Style kind of guy.

372
00:28:55,068 --> 00:28:57,394
I was only there very briefly.
- Where?

373
00:28:57,405 --> 00:28:58,441
Gangnam.

374
00:29:00,698 --> 00:29:04,108
What are we talking about?
- Gangnam, dancing.

375
00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:08,293
Not the suburb of Seoul?
- No.

376
00:29:08,304 --> 00:29:13,192
I'm not familiar with Gangnam, the suburb.
- It literally means south of the Han River.

377
00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:17,911
It was inhabited as early as
the Paleolithic period.

378
00:29:19,143 --> 00:29:21,979
Suddenly seems so much less catchy.

379
00:29:24,473 --> 00:29:26,933
Now something for you lovers out there.

380
00:29:26,944 --> 00:29:31,648
We are entering the erection section.
Don't say fucking erection at a christening.

381
00:29:37,624 --> 00:29:39,484
Would you like to get some air?

382
00:29:42,069 --> 00:29:43,985
I mean, some more air.

383
00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:46,502
Sure.

384
00:29:55,918 --> 00:29:59,770
I don't suppose you happen to have a cigarette?
- No.

385
00:29:59,927 --> 00:30:03,551
I gave up 1891 days ago.

386
00:30:03,619 --> 00:30:05,356
Not that people're counting.

387
00:30:05,813 --> 00:30:08,602
Since when did you smoke?
- I don't.

388
00:30:09,114 --> 00:30:10,698
It's been a tense time.

389
00:30:12,078 --> 00:30:13,746
Maybe I'm nervous.

390
00:30:15,445 --> 00:30:16,613
Why?

391
00:30:18,765 --> 00:30:20,557
You have a train in your hair.

392
00:30:21,891 --> 00:30:24,041
I'm aware of that.

393
00:30:24,898 --> 00:30:27,692
Courtesy of one of my many godchildren.

394
00:30:32,276 --> 00:30:35,024
Seems to be stuck.

395
00:30:36,706 --> 00:30:38,414
And this would be...

396
00:30:39,033 --> 00:30:41,661
Cake?
- Profiterole.

397
00:30:41,769 --> 00:30:44,893
That's technically more of
a dessert, I suppose.

398
00:30:51,241 --> 00:30:54,329
What're you doing? You're married.
- No, I'm not.

399
00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:58,583
I mean, I'm getting a divorce.

400
00:30:58,878 --> 00:31:00,546
That's why she's not here.

401
00:31:04,405 --> 00:31:06,825
Why were you together
at the memorial?

402
00:31:06,995 --> 00:31:09,174
She was just being supportive.

403
00:31:09,830 --> 00:31:12,934
She's gone back to The Hague,
where she's now living, and I'm not.

404
00:31:14,045 --> 00:31:15,971
Oh, I'm so sorry, Mark.

405
00:31:15,982 --> 00:31:18,875
At this precise moment I'm not sorry at all.

406
00:32:34,481 --> 00:32:36,712
How the fuck am I supposed to get in here?

407
00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:49,524
Again?

408
00:32:50,276 --> 00:32:52,944
Mr. Darcy, wow.

409
00:32:55,944 --> 00:32:57,152
Bridget?

410
00:33:00,692 --> 00:33:02,232
God, I've missed you.

411
00:33:08,926 --> 00:33:10,816
Are we on schedule?

412
00:33:11,944 --> 00:33:14,192
I have a flight to Khartoum tomorrow.

413
00:33:51,608 --> 00:33:54,316
I'm so sorry, Mark. Had to leave.

414
00:33:54,444 --> 00:33:57,776
It probably sounds pathetic,
but I got scared.

415
00:33:57,900 --> 00:34:01,024
The fact that we went 'round and 'round
for the best part of ten years...

416
00:34:01,152 --> 00:34:04,360
without ever making it
across the finish line leads me to think...

417
00:34:04,484 --> 00:34:07,776
we did the best thing
by ending it when we did.

418
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,316
Sometimes it feels scary
still being on my own at 43.

419
00:34:13,444 --> 00:34:16,152
But you and I have been here once before.

420
00:34:18,316 --> 00:34:20,759
We always loved the fantasy of us...

421
00:34:20,770 --> 00:34:24,658
But the reality,
as we both know, is quite different.

422
00:34:32,276 --> 00:34:35,732
We could both come up with a 100
reasons why we didn't make it...

423
00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:41,568
but in the end I always felt that you were
never there and I was mostly alone.

424
00:34:53,068 --> 00:34:56,400
No, can't go back and keep
making same mistakes.

425
00:34:56,524 --> 00:35:00,245
Must keep moving forward
and make new ones.

426
00:35:00,524 --> 00:35:03,875
And will lodge myself into
frenzied keep fit regimes.

427
00:35:03,886 --> 00:35:06,703
And allowing 4 weeks to reduce
thighs circumference...

428
00:35:06,714 --> 00:35:10,770
to squeeze largy ass into
teenage skinny jeans...

429
00:35:10,937 --> 00:35:14,161
Obviously not meant
for women of a certain age.

430
00:35:15,276 --> 00:35:18,949
All this bloody cycling is pointless.
I'm putting on weight.

431
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,639
Let's rule out some of the other options, shall we?
You're not pregnant, are you?

432
00:35:23,068 --> 00:35:24,652
Of course not.

433
00:35:24,776 --> 00:35:30,045
A lady is always prepared and
I always carry these in my handbag.

434
00:35:30,403 --> 00:35:34,175
Oh, God! You didn't use those,
the vegan condoms?

435
00:35:34,186 --> 00:35:36,541
Biodegradable and dolphin friendly.

436
00:35:36,552 --> 00:35:39,984
If I'm going to be slutty, it's nice
to think I'm helping the environment.

437
00:35:40,108 --> 00:35:43,638
Christ, Bridget.
I remember when you bought those.

438
00:35:43,649 --> 00:35:46,148
That was decades ago.

439
00:35:46,230 --> 00:35:48,902
Sell by dates don't mean anything.

440
00:35:49,986 --> 00:35:50,986
Do they?

441
00:35:52,192 --> 00:35:54,867
They were a gift. Don't ask.

442
00:35:56,484 --> 00:36:00,809
Tumbling rapids,
frothing waterfalls...

443
00:36:00,819 --> 00:36:02,809
babbling brook.

444
00:36:05,969 --> 00:36:08,201
Oh, come the fuck on, Bridget.

445
00:36:20,608 --> 00:36:22,568
How long do you think it takes?

446
00:36:25,364 --> 00:36:28,045
I think that's a positive result.

447
00:36:28,532 --> 00:36:30,238
Pregnant

448
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:34,305
I'll just make sure.
- Don't shake it.

449
00:36:34,316 --> 00:36:37,152
You'll hurt the baby.
- The baby is not in the stick.

450
00:36:39,143 --> 00:36:40,899
I think this is when you're meant to...

451
00:36:41,495 --> 00:36:43,079
jump for joy.

452
00:36:43,944 --> 00:36:47,158
Oh my God.
- You're pregnant.

453
00:36:47,169 --> 00:36:49,692
I'm pregnant.
- You're pregnant.

454
00:36:50,444 --> 00:36:54,322
I'm pregnant.
- You're going to have a baby.

455
00:36:54,923 --> 00:36:57,118
I'm going to have a baby.

456
00:37:01,908 --> 00:37:04,449
I'm going to have a baby.
- Yes.

457
00:37:08,789 --> 00:37:12,484
If you've got footage of her
punching a horse, I want it.

458
00:37:12,641 --> 00:37:16,165
Bridget, do you want a baby?
- I don't know.

459
00:37:17,295 --> 00:37:19,795
I mean, I'm 43.

460
00:37:19,987 --> 00:37:22,814
It might be the only chance
I'm going to get.

461
00:37:22,942 --> 00:37:28,362
One broken, out of date condom I might
have believed was an acciddent.

462
00:37:29,075 --> 00:37:30,199
But two?

463
00:37:32,058 --> 00:37:33,453
You wanted it.

464
00:37:34,662 --> 00:37:36,314
Maybe I did.

465
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,022
Can we get a medic please?

466
00:37:45,123 --> 00:37:49,076
Oh my God. I'm pregnant.

467
00:37:49,734 --> 00:37:51,522
This is it.

468
00:37:51,930 --> 00:37:55,358
More to the point, whose is it?

469
00:37:55,969 --> 00:37:59,814
This is not how I thought
this moment would be.

470
00:38:00,308 --> 00:38:05,006
I always imagined myself in 'OK!'
magazine with the man of my dreams.

471
00:38:05,352 --> 00:38:08,140
Oh Christ! Too many dilemmas to ponder.

472
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:09,672
Not least of all...

473
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,796
Who was that man I shagged in a tent?

474
00:38:13,535 --> 00:38:17,787
And so you're age will be 43?

475
00:38:21,387 --> 00:38:22,687
So, umm...

476
00:38:23,559 --> 00:38:30,059
Which of the times with my wonderful
man do you think we got pregnant on?

477
00:38:30,190 --> 00:38:31,606
Does it matter?

478
00:38:31,734 --> 00:38:35,319
Well, yes, it's such a special moment.

479
00:38:35,330 --> 00:38:38,419
We'd like to know which one
it is so we can treasure it.

480
00:38:38,430 --> 00:38:42,755
Can't you treasure both of them?
- Yes, we will, we do.

481
00:38:42,766 --> 00:38:47,066
But surely one of those days is
more likely than the other?

482
00:38:47,424 --> 00:38:53,398
Well, actually, day 10, which was
his birthday, is a little early.

483
00:38:53,409 --> 00:38:57,734
And day 16 which was the...
- Anniversary dinner.

484
00:38:57,745 --> 00:39:01,150
Oh yes, the Osso Buco, I recall,
is a little late.

485
00:39:01,161 --> 00:39:04,295
Are you sure there wasn't another
treasurable occasion in between?

486
00:39:04,701 --> 00:39:08,339
Yes, I'm quite sure.
He was away.

487
00:39:09,826 --> 00:39:12,158
So which of the two would you go for?

488
00:39:12,314 --> 00:39:15,734
Couldn't say. They're both equally likely.
It could have been after the event.

489
00:39:15,745 --> 00:39:18,538
Because as you know, sperm can live
for several days after ejaculation.

490
00:39:18,641 --> 00:39:21,069
Couldn't you just have a guess for me?
- No.

491
00:39:21,228 --> 00:39:25,066
What about the first scan?
Would that show when conception took place?

492
00:39:25,077 --> 00:39:27,606
No. Ring this number to fix a date.

493
00:39:27,734 --> 00:39:30,690
And do bring along the father,
if you can work out which one he is.

494
00:39:32,543 --> 00:39:33,667
Right.

495
00:39:35,067 --> 00:39:36,067
Right.

496
00:39:37,106 --> 00:39:43,442
Just out of interest... If someone did have an
element of confusion about the father...

497
00:39:43,453 --> 00:39:48,206
Well, you can get a DNA sample at the
amniocentesis, and I do recommend that you have

498
00:39:48,217 --> 00:39:52,274
the amniocentesis, because there are
always more risks with a geriatric mother.

499
00:39:54,536 --> 00:39:55,935
Geriatric?
Hmm.

500
00:39:56,491 --> 00:39:59,066
That's outrageous.
- Indeed.

501
00:40:00,583 --> 00:40:04,663
Unless you can sign on for your child
support and pension at the same time.

502
00:40:06,398 --> 00:40:07,763
That's hilarious.

503
00:40:09,930 --> 00:40:12,763
It's called "news"
'cause it should feel new.

504
00:40:12,774 --> 00:40:15,799
Otherwise, it be called "olds".

505
00:40:15,951 --> 00:40:17,077
Sorry.

506
00:40:18,209 --> 00:40:20,487
Last night. Top stories.

507
00:40:20,498 --> 00:40:22,829
Earthquake in Asia, seen it before.

508
00:40:22,956 --> 00:40:25,858
Car crash on the M5...
Blah blah blah

509
00:40:25,869 --> 00:40:29,710
We're making 'old's.
We need to flip the switch, mix it up.

510
00:40:29,742 --> 00:40:32,831
I want a new triple on the shit out.
- She's on the warpath.

511
00:40:32,842 --> 00:40:36,314
Susan, the floor manager's gone.
- She's six months pregnant.

512
00:40:36,325 --> 00:40:40,298
We've got to grab the attention,
get the eyes on the screen.

513
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:45,169
I want to see headlines like:
"Is Your Sofa Bed Giving You Cancer?"

514
00:40:45,351 --> 00:40:49,823
"Is Your Freezer Giving You Alzheimers?"
- Oh my God. Are they?

515
00:40:49,862 --> 00:40:53,907
Literally no evidence whatsoever, but you're
missing the point. You're intrigued, aren't you?

516
00:40:54,502 --> 00:40:58,836
I want to reload 'Hard News'
with a clear new objective.

517
00:40:58,852 --> 00:41:02,004
We have a presentation in twelve
weeks at the London Media Show...

518
00:41:02,020 --> 00:41:06,717
and I'm looking for someone dynamic,
innovative, focused...

519
00:41:06,733 --> 00:41:08,873
to lead the charge. Any volunteers?

520
00:41:08,984 --> 00:41:11,834
Whatever happens now,
must hold on to job.

521
00:41:11,858 --> 00:41:15,358
Must prove to fascist boss
that I may be single mother...

522
00:41:15,381 --> 00:41:18,112
but am willing to roll with the
ironic bearded hipsters.

523
00:41:18,136 --> 00:41:19,358
Anybody at all?

524
00:41:20,882 --> 00:41:25,479
Do you need to leave, Bridget?
- No, I want to volunteer.

525
00:41:25,788 --> 00:41:28,035
Hashtag: "Let's do this!"

526
00:41:37,251 --> 00:41:43,215
It's me. Turn on your TV now. Look at your TV.
Now. Now. Now. Turn on Channel 4.

527
00:41:46,314 --> 00:41:50,681
Bridget, I've found him.
He's the dating website guru.

528
00:41:50,697 --> 00:41:54,651
See, you have to trust the science.
Algorithms don't lie.

529
00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:58,105
You slept with a fucking billionaire.

530
00:42:00,525 --> 00:42:03,007
So, tell us, Bridget.

531
00:42:03,308 --> 00:42:06,861
What was it that initially attracted you
to the billionaire Jack Qwant?

532
00:42:06,877 --> 00:42:10,603
Was it his face, or his body? Big dick?
- I'd do it with him, obviously.

533
00:42:10,642 --> 00:42:12,809
If I were you I wouldn't tell either of them.

534
00:42:12,824 --> 00:42:18,402
All you need is a  DNA sample from one of them and then
you can eliminate the other one from your enquiries.

535
00:42:18,425 --> 00:42:22,834
What would I say to Mark?
"Hello Mark, I know I just left you asleep...

536
00:42:22,858 --> 00:42:27,127
but do you have any blood,
sperm or old fingernails lying around? "

537
00:42:27,187 --> 00:42:29,152
How do you even get in touch with Jack?

538
00:42:30,321 --> 00:42:31,321
Yeah.

539
00:42:32,315 --> 00:42:36,271
He is a bloody mogul.
Can't just ring him up.

540
00:42:38,561 --> 00:42:42,652
I may have just figured out how
to win favour with new boss...

541
00:42:42,668 --> 00:42:45,906
and eliminate one father from my enquiries.

542
00:42:45,937 --> 00:42:50,485
I have to say, Bridget,
I'm actually excited by this next guest.

543
00:42:50,546 --> 00:42:55,625
Relevant, relatable, extremely fuckable.
Good work.

544
00:42:55,664 --> 00:42:59,177
Welcome to CSI Hard News.

545
00:43:08,488 --> 00:43:11,254
Thank you my love. If you could
just fuck off that'd be great.

546
00:43:17,413 --> 00:43:19,657
Jack, this is Cathy. She'll get you ready.

547
00:43:19,776 --> 00:43:24,090
Hi, Cathy, nice to meet you.
-I was thinking, just a simple magenta eyeshadow...

548
00:43:24,093 --> 00:43:27,291
to make your eyes pop
and a little bit of rouge, maybe?

549
00:43:27,607 --> 00:43:30,941
Kidding.
- You funny.

550
00:43:30,950 --> 00:43:33,993
You do happen to have
a little stray gray hair.

551
00:43:34,033 --> 00:43:37,255
Oh, Jesus.
- That's it.

552
00:43:37,271 --> 00:43:40,211
Actually, there's a whole gray patch.
Shall I just... let me see?

553
00:43:40,227 --> 00:43:44,424
Yes, my hair is full of gray hair.
- Well, that's sorted.

554
00:43:44,472 --> 00:43:48,539
Jesus Christ.
- All goAH.YDXj,
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