Do you think anybody will find the body here?
I mean, it's not that hard to dig up.
If we had some bleach we could get rid of most of the remains
but this is the best we can do for now.
We just gotta fucking try it.
Yeah, but they have dogs that are trained
to sniff out corpses.
Fuck it!
This is what we're going to do.
We don't know anything about what happened
we were asleep.
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DARK COVE
Subrip: Pix
I don't know, Joey
I mean, I'm really tired
I just worked like three doubles straight.
Listen Rachel. I have to go on this camping trip
I've asked every fucking server in this entire restaurant.
Please take my shift tonight.
How come you never take any shifts for me?
Like that time I wanted to go to the Lil' Wayne concert
and you wouldn't take my shift.
Whatever.
Just think of the cash. Section seven
You'll make $120 easy
and I'll throw in another $20 right now
Yeah? What else are you offering?
You sleazy little sleuze.
Listen, next time we're both hammered at a party
I'll go down on you for like two hours stright.
I'm talking Russian tongue maneuvers kept secret during the cold war.
I've studied that shit.
I've even got this finger technique where I tap on your clit in morse code.
My God!
You are such a freak.
Fine. I'll take your stupid shift.
Yes! Thank you so much. I love you.
How about a little sneak preview in the staff bathroom?
Get the fuck outta here!
Come on. Quick moterboat?
Rim job?
Yes!
What up Joey?
Hey, Joey! What's up man?
Check out my new tattoo.
That's fucking sick dude!
Yeah, dude. I just got my sleeve started on Monday
I'm gonna go back and get some color touch ups and it'll be done man.
Sweet dude. Well I'm going camping right now.
I'll catch you later, alright?
Camping? Sick bro. I wish I could roll with.
Later buddy.
You're a fucking pimp bro.
You're a pimp.
Peace out motherfuckas!
Yo, you got your shift covered?
You know it playa. Let's roll out.
Yummy.
I hope you girls aren't vegetarians!
Joey!
Hello, ladies.
Did you guys actually just sniff each other's fingers?
Hell yeah. It's from Dazed and Confused.
That doesn't make it okay.
Nice to see you too, Lacey.
Maybe I like to smell all sorts of things.
Roses and cream!
I like that.
Hello, Joey.
Hello.
Okay, Jen may be single now,
but that doesn't mean that you can perv on her all weekend.
Whatever.
What's up Ian? It's been a long time bro
Joey Deezio. My favorite little Italian.
Are you ready for another legendary excursion?
You know it. I've been looking foreward to this shit all year.
Alright everybody. Welcome to the fourth annual camping trip
Lacey, babe, I know it's your first time.
But we wont be gentle.
I don't like it gentle!
So hard, so deep, so far past the clit.
Shut up Joey.
So Jen, now that you're single
that means me and Ian can "Eiffel Tower" you tonight, right?
My God, Joey.
What do you mean "Eiffel Tower"?
You mean you've never been to Paris?
No, I've been to the south of France on a family vacation.
What?
Don't worry, we'll show you the "Eiffel Tower".
Jen don't listen to them.
It's just immature guy bullshit.
What is it?
What does it mean? Tell me!
If you really wanna know, it's when you're bent over getting
double teamed by two guys, one in the front, one in the back,
and they do a straight arm pointing high five.
Hence, "The Eiffel Tower".
Shotgun mouth!
Yeah, no that is not happening.
I told you. It's disgusting.
Sorry Joey, I can't anyways I've got a girlfriend.
Yeah, and she's a prissy Vancouver chick.
She can't handle bush wacking it with some rough Victoria boys for like three days.
Man, she had to work.
Whatever dude, I'm just sayin' she's a little prissy.
Every time, you know, we book something fun to do she bails.
I'm just saying, when it's on the island.
If it's in Vancouver and it's convenient she's there.
I'm just saying she's a bit prissy.
She's... admit she's a little bit prissy
Fuck you, man.
A little bit prissy? Like that much?
Yeah, like the size of your dick much.
You know otherwise. You know otherwise, okay?
Lacey, back me up.
I am not getting involved in this conversation.
You know otherwise. Just admit it.
You big dick bastard.
Yes! See, that's what I'm saying
My dick is like the Kennedy assassination, the truth always comes out.
What?
The Kennedy assassination?
His cock is actually very political.
It's, like, liberal with some conservative tendensies.
All this talk about Quinn's dick is making me want to pull out mine.
It could come out any moment.
No!
Joey, I think you may be the horniest person on the planet.
I've thought about it, and I actually think that if Joey
spent all the time that put into chasing poon,
all that energy, passion and enthusiasm.
If he put that into doing something that was actually productive
he probably would've found a cure for cancer by now.
Maybe a nobel peace prize.
Or maybe solve the Kennedy assassination mystery.
Yeah, but you know I would not nearly be as much fun.
We know Joey, that's why we love you bro.
You're our own little poon hound.
Honey, are we almost there?
Just two more hours.
Welcome to Sombrio, babe.
I'm excited.
Finally.
Get me out of this van.
Alright.
That matress is fucking huge!
What kind of sex are you planning on having this weekend?
Just because we're camping doesn't mean we can't be comfortable.
Lacey, what have you done to this guy?
I remember he used to just pass out in the middle of the hard ground
with all his clothes on.
Sometimes in a pool of his own vomit like Keith Moon.
I've matured, okay?
I'm a gentleman of leisure.
Let's leave this in there for now. We'll take it on the second trip.
So, did you guys reserve a campsite?
No, there aren't any desgnated sites.
There's a few fire-pits set up along the beach
but you can pretty much just camp anywhere you want.
But we still have to pay though. That's what Joey's doing right now.
Right Joey?
Yeah, yeah. I'm on it homie.
The thing that sucks is that there's like a ten minute hike down to the beach
so we'll have to make two trips to get all the gear going
but trust me, it's worth it.
Aren't there any park rangers supervising?
Not really. I mean they have one or two guys that come down once in a blue moon
to check on campfires and shit but we've never seen them around here.
That's why it's such a good party beach.
Hey, what's your license plate number?
943 SPK
Sweet.
Didn't you tell me a bunch of hippies used to live in the woods around here?
Yeah, back in the early 80's a bunch of hippies moved here and starting squating.
They set up all these crazy elaberate shacks right on the beach.
Some of them lived here for over twenty years.
Yeah, some of them had kids who were born
and until they were were teenagers.
I actually met one of them in Australia.
She was a pro surfer 'cause se grew up on the beach surfing everyday.
So what happened to them?
There was a huge dispute over the land being a provincial park
so one day like ten years ago the authorities came and kicked them all off.
Like they lived here. Like they were pretty much houses these shacks.
That's pretty harsh.
Yeah, it was a big deal. It was on the cover of the paper for like a week.
Holy shit.
That's it.
My God.
I told you, babe.
Alright. Let's do this.
So Jen, you probably don't want to talk about it
but I'm glad you came even though you and Doug just broke up.
It's all good. I needed to get out and have some fun.
Breakups are the worst. How long did you guys date again?
Just over two years.
Why did you guys breakup?
I don't know. It was just time I guess.
I'm finishing school and he's gonna go traveling for six months.
It was along time coming anyway.
Yeah, dating in your twenties can be tough.
Everybody's figuring there lives out
school, traveling, serving, fuckin' temp jobs.
Nobody has their shit together.
It's weird because one minute I'll be loving life and so happy that I'm free
and the next minute I'm listening to "You'll Think of Me"
and crying all night long.
I love Keith Urban.
"You'll Think of Me" is good. I'd probably put it in the
top ten best breakup songs of all time.
What's number one?
"Somebody That I Used to Know" is up there.
That's up there for sure but the number one best breakup song of all time
is obviously "You Outta Know" by Alanis. Boom!
Alanis? I don't know about that man.
Dude, are you fucking kidding me bro?
Did you listen to those lyrics? In a top ten hit.
Housewives are listening to this shit.
"Would she go down on you in a theater?"
"Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?"
That shit is cold blooded son!
And it has a pretty sick bass line.
I've jammed on it before.
See, Joey Deezio knows what's up.
That bass line is funky as fuck!
That's Flea playing bass on that track.
Number one best breakup song of all time
"You Outta Know" hands down.
Actually yeah, I could see that. It is a classic.
Honestly Jen, we all really like Doug
but you could do so much better.
Thank you.
Cheers to Jen.
It's just weird. I haven't been single in so long.
Like the other day, some guy asked me for my number
who I wasn't even interested in and I gave it to him anyway.
I don't know why. I think he made me feel like I was back in the game.
Last week I was picking up this chick and my phone died.
So she busted out a pen and paper old school style.
Which was awesome.
Anyways, she writes down her number and her first name
and her last name which makes sense for Facebook.
And normally that amount of information would suffice.
Right? But no, no. Here's the thing.
After that she writes down her email address which is all good
but then she writes down the name of the restaurant
she works at. And then on top of that she adds her fucking home address.
What? She writes down the place that works and her home address?
Yeah.
So, she's like come on over and I will fuck you.
Let's go!
That's pretty much your fantasy.
Right?
She must be pretty desperado.
I did kind of meet her at a strip club.
God! Always classy Joey, always classy.
Let's play some "World Cup" before dinner.
I'm in. Viva Italia!
You suck!
Goal for Canada!
Goala! Goala!
Here I'm open!
Italy for the game winner!
That girl just molested my ankle with her foot.
I think it might be broken.
Joey get your ass up man. We know your an Italian
but that doesn't mean you get to dive like one.
Yellow card for diving!
Joey should have gotten mulitple yellow cards
for grabbing me and Jen's asses throughout the game.
Joey's faking. Game on!
It's not exactly Wembley Stadium but it'll do.
Hey man, do you want to play?
We could do a little three on three if you want.
I would mate but I've been on the piss for three days straight
I'd probably fall over if I try to run about.
On the piss?
Yeah, it means he's been hammered for three days.
Thanks for that. I've always wanted a translater.
It's very difficult, this language barrier.
Are you camping here?
Yeah, with a couple Aussie fuckers I'm friends with.
There they are. They're all into surfing and that.
Look at those sorry bastards Paddling around
in a freezing cold ocean for a five second ride.
I'm Donnie by the way.
What's up man, I'm Quinn.
This is my girlfriend, Lacey.
Hi.
Those crazy Aussies will actually be lighting off
a bunch of fireworks at our campsite later on.
You're all welcome to pop by for a cheeky beverage or two.
Yeah, that might be cool. We'll try to roll down.
Alright, I'll catch you later then.
Cheers!
Alright, see you later.
That guy seems pretty chill. Like a classic Brit.
I think he's fucking wasted.
The fireworks might be alright.
Yeah, that'll be sweet when we're on mushrooms.
Babe, are we actually doing mushrooms tonight?
Yeah babe, of course. It's going to be fun. It's gonna awesome.
So, do I get my penalty shot or what?
I have to show you this waterfall before it gets dark. It's a must see.
Okay. It sounds pretty cool.
So, big question.
How is Lacey liking the trip so far?
I'm having a great time.
It's nice to hang out with Ian.
We've never really spent that much time together.
It's good to get to know your best friend.
Although, he does talk about your cock a bit too much for my liking.
Yeah, it's a little disconcerting.
I'm not gonna lie.
I don't get to see him too much anymore since he moved to Vancouver
but me, Joey, Jen and him have all been best friends since we were ten.
I'm definitely starting to feel more like one of the group
I know, it's awesome.
Look babe. There it is.
Look at that!
That's amazing!
I can't believe stuff like that exists here in BC.
It's like National Geographic style.
Full out. It looks like the entrance to the bat cave.
So, what I'm thinking is that I should take some pics of you
in front of the waterfall on my phone.
Perfect!
You're looking so hot right now babe.
Nice, work it.
Fuck babe, you are workin' it. Nice.
I'm not going to lie, I'm getting a little hard right now.
But I really have to put my shirt back on because it's fucking cold.
No, no, no. You don't need to do that.
I'll come warm you up.
Hey guys!
Joey!
What the fuck is going on here?
Nothing. We're just admiring the wonders of nature. As you can see.
Sure there buddy. I'd stick around a rub one out but dinner's ready
you fucking pervs.
We're coming.
Well, I wont be.
Joey, that was a tasty steak.
What did you do to get it that flavor?
That's a Deezio family recipe.
That shit's been around for ages.
Passed down to me from my "Zio".
I marinated those bad boys in a secret concoction of herbs and spices
for two whole days.
That was amazing. You'll have to come over sometime and cook me dinner.
I'll be there.
And you can give me fellatio for dessert.
Eeewww.
Speaking of dessert people. It's that time.
Mushrooms!
I'm kind of scared. I've only done shrooms once and I had a horrible experience.
Yeah, that can happen. But this time you're with chill people.
We'll take care of you if you start to bum out.
Yeah, last time that we did shrooms Joey was so fucked up
that he spent all night in his tent in the fetal position.
Tripping out.
Ahhhhhhh!
Man, that was brutal.
I actually thought I was back in the womb.
Swimming around in my mom's juices.
I seriously thought I was swimming around the little egg.
Trying to poke in there like a fucking dirty little sperm.
The one that made it but never made it.
It was really fucked up.
Never again will I brew a batch of mushroom tea.
That's how you get fucked up.
True. When you brew them in tea it's hard to tell how much you've consumed
so you can get super fucked up.
Yeah man, it was like this one time
when I ate way too many pot brownies.
I actually thought I was dying.
Yeah, like that cop on the internet who called 911 on himself.
It's because when you digest weed it metathesizes in your body differently.
It actually releases Eleven Hydroxy Metabolite
which is four times more psychoactive than THC.
That's why people get so fucked up eating pot brownies.
Who are you? You're the same guy in science class
I was fucking trying to finger Betsy over here
while you're talking about metabo... whatever the fuck you're saying.
All these stories are really comforting.
No, you'll be fine. We're out, here, we're camping, we're with chill people
It's gonna be all good.
We're not doing pot brownies, just a little shroomage.
Okay, enough of this hype. Let's eat some of these bad boys.
Mushrooms! I love mushrooms!
Here just start off with this. It's all good.
That seems like a lot.
No, that's good. That's less than an eighth. It'll just get you a little buzz.
Big Ian. Here you go.
Here let's get you a little more. Look at them stem right there.
Thank you.
Mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms!
Here's a little for Jen.
This batch is particularly disgusting.
Yeah. These are fucking rancid.
It's just part of the experience.
It's a love/hate thing.
We should play a drinking game.
I'm down. Maybe one that involves stripping.
We should play "I Never".
What's "I Never"?
It's where you say something crazy that you've done
and if other people have done it they have to drink.
Fuck that. "I Never" is so lame.
It's the same thing every time.
"I've never had sex on a plane, I've never had sex on a train"
"I've never came all over a girl's face and had a midgit lick it off"
I've never done that.
I've had sex in an airport but never on a plane.
Although I have jerked it on a plane before.
Yeah, I have too. It was on my flight to Thailand.
That is a long, long flight.
I did it on a flight to Toronto.
You jacked it on a domestic flight? That's only four hours.
Did you just do it in the bathroom?
Fuck no. Right in my seat while the lady beside me was sleeping.
You think that's bad? I jerked off on a Grayhound bus once.
I was in the washroom givin' when the bus driver slams on the brakes
just as I was about to unleash the fury.
I hit the wall and jizz starts fucking flying everywhere.
My God!
I made a fucking mess of myself. It was so bad.
I'm ninety percent sure that Joey played the gimp in Pulp Fiction.
Alright, who needs another beer?
I'll take one.
Joey, aren't you glad that you're not working tonight?
I know. Thank God. I'd probably be serving some Americans right now.
They'd be like. "Sir, this iced tea is disgusting"
"I want an un-sweetend ice tea with a lemon. And I'll sweet'n it myself with some Splenda."
Yeah, and how you can tell they're American is they
always say "I want" or "I'm gonna have the New York steak"
Canadians are so polite and always say "May I please have"
But we forgive the Yanks because they're way better tippers than Canadians
or anyone else for that matter
You really think so?
I agree. Americans always tip 15 to 20 percent.
Canadians for the most part only tip 10 to 15 percent.
Exactly. And Canadians need to know that 10 percent is not a good tip.
It's kind of cool how Americans put alot of effort into remembering your name
It's like "Hi Quinn. Thank you very much Quinn"
"Quinn, could I get some more napkins to wipe my face?"
"I have chicken grease on my face"
I think the best customers are gay guys. They're awesome and they tip huge.
True, gay guys are the best customers.
They appreciate the service, they always have a good time and they tip very well too.
When I used to serve my best customers were always the cougars.
Any group of women over 40 on a girl's night out, I used to work that shit.
I took down a 43 year old one night.
My God Joey!
I met her at "Hugo's" one night.
She ended up taking me back to her place
pinches my cheek and says "You remind me of my son"
Ohhhhh!
Joey, that's disturbing.
That's like some sort of reverse Edipus complex.
She was probably the most aware chick I've ever boned
totally down with anything. She would say the most outrageous shit when I was nailing her.
I was doing her from behind and she says "Are you enjoying my pussy?"
"Are you enjoying it? Show my pussy who's boss baby!"
And as she came she thanked me.
She thanked you for making her cum, like right after?
No, she thanked me while she was having her orgasm
Yeah, yeah, yeah, THAAAANK YOOOOUUUU!
On that note, I'm going to take a piss.
Try not to piss on a cougar while you're out there.
Fuck, that freak probably would have loved it
but I'm not into any of that pissing stuff during sex
that is one line Deezio will never cross.
Isn't it fucked up that almost all of us have university degrees
and everyone besides Ian are waiting tables for a living.
I mean, I just turned 25. When I was younger I thought I'd be ballin' by now.
Yeah, but look at everyone else our age that we know
No one's totally successful at 24, 25. It takes time.
Here we go, the conversation is gettting all in-depth and philosophical.
At least we know the shrooms have kicked in.
I'm definitely feeling something
For sure, I'm feeling it. That's part of the reason for doing psycheledelics
is to reveal the truth. The truth about the world and about yourself.
Yeah Quinn, but sometimes it's hard to face the truth about yourself and you can bum out
Let's just chill and have a good time. We don't need to get so intense.
It's all good, I'm chillin'
I'm just saying that the fact that I busted my ass for four years
to get this seemingly useless bachelor of arts degree is fucked up
I've had my degree for a year and I'm looking for a government job
and Ian's not a server anymore. He's articling for a really good accounting firm in Vancouver.
Yeah, I know. But there's got to be something more
than just using our degrees to get some stupid 9 to 5, 50 to 60 thousand dollar a year job
that we really don't give a fuck about and we're just doing it for the money or for our career.
Ever since I was a kid I'm been streamlined into thinking that you have to get your degree
to be qualified for this certain amount of jobs that pay more.
And now that I have my degree it's kind of all bullshit.
I don't know what I want to do.
None of us really know where we're going to end up or what we're gonna do.
Are we really contemplating the meaning of life right now?
Let's just chill and have a good time tonight.
I know what I want to do with my life.
I want to have sex with one girl from every country
God.
I've already got Spain, Italy, France, Ukraine, Poland, India, Russia, Korea, Japan
Thailand, Philippines, Australia South Africa, Brazil, Jamaica, Costa Rica, Canada, U.S.A.
Mexico and The Federated States of Micronesia. Boom!
Quinn, maybe that's what you need to do.
And I don't mean participating in Joey's warped, sexual Olympics.
But to Travel. Joey and Ian did Southeast Asia and I went to Europe with my family.
Yeah, traveling does totally open your mind.
You'll get a whole new perspective.
That's what I've been trying to tell him.
He's never left North America. Come on babe, let's go. Let's just do it.
I think you're right. I'm finally starting to realize it.
I've beeen stuck in my own Canadian, warped little view. I need to expand it.
That's my shroom epiphany. I'm going, I'll save up all summer and we'll just go.
I want to go to Europe. France, England, Germany, Spain. All that shit.
That's it, we're going. Shroom epiphany is done.
I just got so fucking high out of nowhere. It just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Yeah dude, I'm fucking feeling good.
Feeling frisky.
My God, I can't feel my earlobes!
Shit!
That looks so cool.
Holy fuck!
The colors are so sharp.
It's Donnie and those crazy Aussie fuckers he told us about
I've never seen fireworks on mushrooms man, this is fucking sick!
My God, that's amazing.
My God!
We have to go party with them. We have to.
I think we need to.
Who's up for a little shroom adventure?
Yeah man, I'm down. We need a little mushroom adventure right now.
I can't sit still when I'm on this shit. I wanna walk the beach and chill.
A little bit of music would be fucking awesome too man.
I don't know, man. I think we should just stay here with our own crew.
Come Ian. Grab some road pops and let's socialize.
It'll be fun, dude. I'll bring my guitar, let's go.
Come on, it'll be fun.
I just don't really feel like hanging out with random strangers when I'm tripping.
Come on.
Let's go have a shroom adventure.
You can't do shrooms without an adventure. It just doesn't work.
Stick together with the crew, bro. Let's do it.
Then I blew it,
And then I light a cigarette and say "What's that on the TV?"
Then she just went mental and started punching me in the face
and then she punched my dick!
Who's that?
There they are, the beach footballers!
Hey, what's up Donnie? Hey guys.
Welcome, welcome. Have a seat wherever you like.
What's mine is yours, what's yours we share. Sit here, there, wherever.
Hey, there's a seat here if you want.
Thanks.
Hi, I'm Dean.
I'm Jen.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Those fireworks were sick. We weren't expecting a full out pro display.
You can thank these two gits for that.
That's Dean. And this beautiful man here is Chase.
So, where did you guys get the fireworks?
Me and Deano picked them up when we were surfing down the Oregon coast
and we smuggled them across the border.
It's illegal to set them off here but this is the perfect spot. We'd never get caught.
They looked amazing on shrooms.
What? You guys are on muggers?
We tried to find some before we came up.
Do you have anymore?
No, we just ate them all an hour ago.
You must be flying right now.
That would be fun, the old muggers. Chaser?
Fuck yeah. I'd be up for tripping on some shroomies.
We brought some weed though. Ian's got a joint we can spark up if you want.
Nice man. Yeah, Lacey. She's the one I was telling you about.
She couldn't understand my accent.
I felt like Liam Gallagher when Behind the Music.
I saw that, it was hilarious. They had subtitles for Liam but not for Noel.
You think that was bad?
Did you know the first Mad Max movie was dubbed with American actors?
It's because they thought the Yanks wouldn't understand the Aussie accents.
That version was horrible.
That is some strong fucking weed.
That is BC chronic at it's best.
Hey, is that your guitar?
I play quite a bit. Dean does too but he can't play worth a shit.
Fuck off. I can play a bit of Nirvana.
Yeah, and it's bloody shocking. Kurt would be rolling over in his grave.
So are you guys hiking or surfing?
Neither, we're just partying and camping.
We do it every year.
That's cool. Most people that come by here are hiking the Juan de Fuca trail.
We've met a few surfers too but they're mostly pretty rubbish.
Are you guys like pro surfers or something?
We're pretty good. We both used to compete when we were younger
but now we just surf for pleasure.
I've always wanted to try surfing
but I'm waiting till I'm somewhere warm like Hawaii
it's just too cold around here.
That's what wet suits are for.
If you want, tomorrow I could show you a few basics.
You can surf the shallow white wash, it's really safe and easy.
We brought up an extra board and wet suit.
Come on, I'll show you.
I could play you a little tune.
So this is where we keep our gear.
The small board is Chase's, the big one's mine.
The wetsuits. And we've got an extra board and wetsuit in the car for Donnie
but let's be honest, he's a lazy fucker and he's never goning to use it.
If you want to try it out tomorrow you can.
Really? That would be awesome.
Some of the other guys might want to try too.
So, do you guys surf a ton of big waves in Australia?
Sometimes, we used to surf quite a bit on the south coast
but riding big waves you can get hurt alot.
But aren't there a ton of great whites?
Yeah, but that's half the fun.
You're crazy.
So, what do you guys do just travel around surfing on an endless summer?
Kind of. We both snowboard too. We spent the winter working at a ski resort in Banff
but visas ran out so we're kind of here illegally now
But we can't really work so we're just bumming around a bit.
What do you do?
I just graduated with a degree in econonomics.
I'm looking for a real job now but I kind of want to travel before I'm locked down.
I've been to Europe but I've always wanted to go to Australia.
You should definitely go to Australia.
It's a really beautiful place.
I know that in North America everyone thinks it's just outback and beaches
but in the urban areas it's actually a really sophisticated modern society.
So, we should probably get back
but I'm really excited for you to teach me how to surf tomorrow.
Yeah, it's gonna be fun.
That was sick, dude!
Here you go, Quinn. Let's have a tune.
What are you going play?
You should play "I Just Wanna Go Home"
Yeah, we could.
What's that song?
You'll love it. They wrote it themselves.
It even mentions Brits and Australians in it.
An original. Perfect. Let's hear it.
This is a song that we usually do on the last day of camping and partying
because we're so burnt out.
It's perfect for that but we'll play it for you now just for fun.
One more time.
Alright guys, that was fun but I think we're just going to crash out
Yeah, definitely bed time.
I'm crashing too, man.
Goodnight guys.
Goodnight Lacey.
Goodnight Jen.
Yeah!
Joey, what are you doing?
I love mushrooms. I love mushrooms, baby!
My God.
Yeah, Jen and Deano. Take this shit back to Australia, baby!
I'm done. I don't even think I have enough energy to jerk off tonight.
I'm going to bed.
Yeah, must be from all that dancing about you did.
You might have to show me some of those moves you got mate.
Hell, no! Those are mine.
I keep secrets.
Goodnight, Joey.
Alright. Goodnight, guys.
Goodnight, mate.
Funny guy.
Yeah.
So, is that your tent over there?
Maybe.
I can't.
What's wrong?
I broke up with my boyfriend of two years
and I'm still not ready.
Yeah, I know what it's like. It's all good.
Could I have one more kiss? Just a little one?
Dean. I said I can't.
Dean.
I said no.
Why don't you shut the fuck up?
Fucking bitch!
You mother fucking piece of shit!
What the fuck were you trying to do? Mother fucker?
Alright man, he's had enough! He's pretty fucked up.
Fuck this Aussie piece of shit! Rapist fuck!
Can you believe that he tried to pull that shit off at our own campsite?
You just got fucked up! You hear me?
You got something to say you little bitch?
I'm sorry.
What did you say, mother fucker? What'd you say?
I'm sorry.
Bullshit!
Shit! What the fuck?
Holy shit.
What the fuck was that?
Holy shit. His heart's not fucking beating.
I think he's fucking dead.
Good.
What?
I said good. Fuck him, he deserved it.
Fuck Ian, no. He deserved a vicious beating he'd never forget
and that's exactly what we gave him
but then you went too fucking far, man.
I don't give a fuck!
Rapists deserve to die. All of them!
You know my sister was raped at a fucking house party
in Port Alberni last year.
Yeah, I know.
Well, what are we going to do?
We gotta get him to a hospital or something.
Maybe he's still alive. He could be resuscitated.
Joey, he's not breathing. He's dead.
You can check his fucking pulse, man.
You're not a fucking doctor, man.
We need to get him to a hospital or call a fucking ambulance.
That's not going to happen, Joey.
There's no cell phone reception here
and the closest hospital is an hour away
and we're not bringing in a dead body beat to shit
we'd get arrested in five seconds.
So, what should we do?
We bury the body and get the fuck out of here.
We're actually going to do this?
We don't have a fucking choice, Joey.
Fuck it. Ian's right.
If we take him in we'll be charged with murder
manslaughter at the very least.
Maybe with our story we won't do any jail time
but you better believe that I'm not spending the next five years of my life
in a fucking court case.
Let's bury him, let's pack up our shit,
let's get the fuck out of here
and never come back to this fucking place ever again.
Alright. Let's take him into the woods.
Yeah, let's bury him in that cave by the beach
the ground will be soft enough so we can dig
with the camping shovel and just our bare hands.
We can dig a fucking grave.
Fuck man, I'm fucking tripping high on mushrooms
I can't handle this shit right fucking now
my heart's beating faster than a fucking freight train!
Joey, chill the fuck out.
Just take some deep breaths.
We just have to carry his body into the cave
it's not that far. Let's just get it done.
Alright man, alright. I'll fucking try.
I'll grab the camping shovel and a lantern
and I'll meet you guys down there in a little bit, okay?
Let's fucking do this.
Hey, are you alright?
Does it look like she's fucking alright Quinn?
Lacey, just listen.
So, we were beating up Dean pretty hard but not too bad
then all of a sudden he starts twitching out, seizuring,
foaming at the mouth, I don't know
he might of had a brain hemorrhage. I don't know
but he's dead.
What?
Yeah, he's fucking dead.
Good. He was a fucking asshole. I would have killed him myself.
We're gonna go bury him right now.
Then we're going to pack up our stuff
and we're going to get the the fuck out of here.
When you're ready can you guys start packing up?
Okay. Just give us some time here, alright?
Okay. We'll be back.
Watch out there's a log there.
I told Lacey and Jen happened.
Did they freak out?
Not really. Jen's still in shock.
They didn't have too much fucking sympathy for him.
Do you think anyone will find the body here?
I mean, it's not that hard to dig up.
If we had some bleach we could get rid of most of the remains
but this is the best we can do for now. We just gotta fucking try it.
Yeah, but they have dogs that are trained to sniff out corpses.
No one is going to find out what happened.
Therefore, nobody is going to be looking for a fucking dead body
buried near the beach.
If they do go searching for him
they're going to be looking for someone lost deep in the woods
or fucking drown in the ocean.
It's happened before. Some teenagers get wasted
while they're camping and one of them wonders off
and gets lost in the woods.
Yeah, but it wasn't some drunk ass teen from the city
it was a rugged Australian who knows the outdoors.
All the more reason for him to go exploring deep in the woods
Fuck it! This is what we're gonna do
we don't know anything about what happened
we were asleep.
Fucker!
Fuck!
There's Donnie and Chase coming down the beach right now.
You guys just pop in the tent and I'll talk to them.
Lacey, Jen, you guys just stay in the tent for a couple minutes.
Wakey, wakey, hands off snakey!
Come on Deano! Get up you little fucker.
Hey, what's up guys?
There he is. You're not looking too prime today Quinn. Hungover?
Yeah man, not feeling too good. That's for sure.
Hey mate. Where's Deano sleeping?
He's not back at your guys' campsite?
Because he stumbled off around 2AM when we were all passing out.
He must have passed out on the way back.
What a nob!
Haha, what a moron.
I stayed up all night. I'm still fucking hammered.
But actually we're gonna head out today
because Lacey ended up getting really sick
off the shrooms.
So, we're just going to pack up and get outta here.
That's too bad.
We had a great night last night didn't we?
Yeah, it was good times for sure.
Well, in a few days we'll be heading up to Tofino for a couple weeks.
You guys should come and meet us.
Yeah, that's cool. Well we'll know where to find you guys
just right on the beach, right?
Alright, see you later.
Take it easy. See you later guys.
XO XO. Gossip Girl.
Okay man. Later dude.
See ya.
Holy fuck.
Fucking shit.
That sounded like it went over well.
They didn't seem too surprised that Dean might have wondered off and passed out.
K, lets finish packing up. The sooner we leave here the better
I can't believe that actually happened last night.
It did Joey. So let's just focus on what needs to get done right now
and try not to freak out.
One more trip with the gear
and we should be good to go.
Alright.
Hey!
What's up, Donnie?
You guys havn't seen Dean walking about have you?
He never made it back to your guys' campsite?
Nah, the fucker's still M.I.A. We don't know where he is.
We looked over the entire beach.
We just went through the trail to load up our van
and we didn't see him.
Something's up. We're starting to sketch out a bit.
He always wakes up to surf no matter how shit-faced
he was the night before.
Yeah, that's weird.
You guys don't mind looking through the woods with us
before you go, do you?
Yeah, we could help you out for a bit.
Of course.
Yeah, alright. Thank you.
Deano!
Dean!
Where are you, fucker?
Deano!
Dean!
Deano!
Dean!
What?
I can't handle this.
We need to leave right now. This is too crazy.
I know. Let's just pretend to search for a few more minutes
and then we'll bail.
Where the hell have you guys been?
We ran into Donnie on the trail.
They've been looking for Dean all morning
so we pretended to help search for a bit.
It's good actually. There's now way that they'll suspect
that we had anything to do with it.
I need to get away from this fucking stupid place.
I'm gonna have a panic attack.
K, let's pack up the rest of the gear and let's go.
Who's Chase talking to?
Fuck!
Fuck. He's talking to a Ranger!
Fuck, Joey. You wrote down our license plate number
when you registered to camp. Didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
Shit!
Fuck, Quinn. Who cares?
Listen. It's the first thing they're going to reference
if they call the R.C.M.P. and do a full out search for Dean.
They're going to contact everyone who was camping
here this weekend. They have our license plate number
it'll take them five seconds to find us.
Quinn, it doesn't matter. We wont tell them anything.
Ian, think about it. Trained R.C.M.P investigators
seperately asking us all a shit load of detailed questions.
Fuck. Are we all really that good at lying?
They're gonna know something's up.
Alright, fuck!
Let's try to stall them.
So, can you tell me how long this guy has been missing?
Well, he didn't come back last night.
He was pretty drunk. But we've been searching all morning
and we haven't been able to find him.
Do you know who last person was who saw him
before he disappeared?
Actually it was these guys.
Hey, we found him. We found Dean.
You did? Where was he?
He was passed out in the woods just like we thought.
What a moron. Sir, I'm sorry about this.
It sounds like you guys had a pretty wild and crazy night last night.
Yeah, we did.
I wouldn't have minded being out there with you guys
but on a serious side, just keep in mind
we've had several sightings of bears
in the last couple weeks.
So, no matter how messed up you guys get
or how drunk you get, don't go into the woods at night.
For sure.
Alright? Especially not like your buddy did.
If you go out in there you could end up as bear fodder.
No problem. Thanks for the warning.
Okay, it's fine. Just remember to take all your stuff with you
don't leave anything lying around. Take it out with you.
If the bears get a sniff of that they'll be coming around.
Alright, have a good one.
See you later.
What a fucking nob Deano is.
Can you imagine if they'd brought the whole search and rescue team out?
Yeah.
Alright. Where's that bastard, Deano?
I don't know. He might have just gone off with Donnie, I think.
Why don't you just tell him?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Why don't you just tell him what the fuck happened.
He's gonna find out when Donnie gets back anyway.
What the fuck are you two on about?
Okay, what the fuck is going on here?
The truth is...
We haven't found Dean yet.
So, you lied to the Ranger.
What the fuck are you thinking?
You think this is some sort of fucking joke?
I'm sorry bro. I just did a shit load of mushrooms last night.
Our brains are fucking fried.
Like, I think I'm still fucking high right now.
I don't know what's going on with you two at the moment
you're acting pretty fucking weird.
But I'm starting to get really fuckin' pissed off.
We saw you talking with the Ranger and I just got paranoid
that he was going to bust us for the weed and the shrooms
Like, I don't even know what's going on right now
I apologize, I sincerely apologize.
I don't know why we said that.
We'll all calm down, we'll find him.
Yeah, well I guess so.
Dean's gotta be around here somewhere. Right?
Well, what the fuck is this?
Alright. I wanna know what's going on right now.
This is Dean's sandal.
There's blood all over it. There is blood all over the rocks here
You better tell me what's going on right now
or I'm gonna fucking lose it.
Just tell him.
I don't even know how to tell you this man.
Dean is fucking dead.
Are you fucking with me?
No. Actually we're not fucking with you.
He tried to rape Jen, last night.
He was a piece of shit and he deserved it.
You are not fucking serious.
Yeah, we are fucking serious. We had to pull him off Jen last night.
We knocked him around a bit. Gave him some punches to the head
and then all of a sudden he started twitching out.
Out of fucking nowhere.
He must have had a hemmorhage or an aneurysm from the head trauma
I don't know.
But there was nothing we could do about it.
There's nothing you could do.
There's nothing anyone could do.
Are you guys fucking bent in the head?
I've known Deano my whole life. He's my fucking cousin.
He would never fucking hurt anyone.
Maybe this bitch is lying.
Okay, okay. So if he's dead, show me his fucking body.
Roll his fuckin' body out here.
We took him into the woods and we buried him.
You buried...
you buried him?
You fucking buried him?
You're telling me...
that you killed my fucking cousin because of this fucking cunt?
Fuck! Fuck!
Maybe you don't know who you're dealing with!
Maybe you don't know who you're fucking with!
So, listen up kiddies.
This is how this is gonna play out.
You're gonna tell me exactly what fucking happened
and he'd better be alright.
So fucking help me!
Because if he isn't I'm gonna take this little cunt's head
and crack his fucking skull open like a coconut.
Yes! And fucking rip your scalp off!
With my fucking hands and the blood of my fucking cousin's hands!
How many times do I have to tell you?
You're cousin is dead.
What the fuck? Quinn!
Fuck!
What the fuck?
Get the fuck off of him!
Yes, yes
We need to have a little talk.
Where are you going, Donnie?
I just wanted to talk to you!
Donnie! Where the fuck is Ian? What the fuck happened?
That fucker's completely mental!
He just chased me with an axe!
Where is Ian?
He's in the parking lot. He's trying to kill me.
I saw him chop up Chase!
He's not trying to fucking kill you man.
Just go back to the site. I'll fucking try to find Ian and
chill him out.
Fuck!
Ian!
Ian.
Ian!
Fucking hell.
Donnie. That's what happened, alright?
There's nothing we can do about it now
we all just have to fucking move on with our lives.
He's a fucking nutter. He's completely lost the plot.
I can't find Ian, man. I don't know where he went.
He's coming back.
Right now we need to deal with Chase's body
before someone comes by and sees it.
What are we going to do with it?
I'm not digging another grave.
We're going to sink it in the river.
Donnie, we're gonna need your help carrying the body
Fuck that man! I'm not doing it.
Either you help us out or your on your own.
You can try to leave and deal with Ian all by yourself again
or you can just help us carry the fucking body
and get this over with. Those are the options.
Fuck.
Fucker.
I heard you out there.
What do I got out there? A little grizzy bear?
I can hear you.
Come on out.
So, can we go home yet or what?
Well, has Ian come yet? I don't fucking see him.
We can't just leave him.
I don't fucking care. I'm leaving right now.
I don't care if I have to walk up to the hi-way and hitch hike
me and Jen are going right now!
We don't know where Ian is Lacey.
I don't fucking care!
We can leave him a tent and some food
and you can come back and get him tomorrow
but right now you have to drive me and Jen home.
Right fucking now!
Lacey, he just killed someone to save my life.
He saved Jen last night.
We're not fucking leaving here until he comes back
or until we find him.
Well, he was last seen near the parking lot
he's gotta be up there somewhere.
Let's just go up there and look for him.
Fine.
He's lost it man. He is a lunatic.
I'm not leaving your guys' side till I get back to my car.
Ian is trying to kill me!
He's not trying to kill you, Donnie.
He just went through a pretty intense ordeal
we fucking all have. He's just trying to protect his friends.
You don't need to chop someone's head off to protect your friends!
I admit it. He might have snapped.
Okay? But his sister was raped last year and it fucking
devastated him. He felt so bad because he wasn't there to protect her.
He has violence deeply ingrained in his psyche.
Yeah, he told me his dad used to hit him when he was younger.
His old man used to hand out beatings when he was drunk.
To Ian, his brother and his sister.
But Ian used to let his old man chase him around the house
to tire him out so that just he would take the beating
not his brother and his sister.
Then one day when he was about thirteen
he was getting chased around the house
then he just stops, he faces him
and he says "Let's go, let's go right now"
and his dad just looks at him, stops,
turns around and walks away.
From then on their old man never laid a finger on him or any of his siblings.
He'll use violence to protect who he loves
that's just the way he is.
So, I don't know if he's snapped or if he's gone totally
fucking crazy. But we are not leaving here without him.
Alright. Let's go find him.
Ian!
Ian, it's time to go.
Ian! Where the fuck are you?
He's not here.
Where do you think he is?
He's in the woods.
Fuckin' Ian took my car keys.
Well I guess you're coming with us to look for him then.
Let's all stick together guys. No one spread out at any time.
Flashlight.
Joey.
Alright. Let's go.
Ian! Where are you?
Ian?
Ian.
What?
I think I heard something.
I don't hear anything. But guys lets stick together.
There are wild bears in these woods, okay?
Just stay close.
Ian!
Guys, I see something.
Where?
Right there.
It's a body!
It's the fucking Ranger!
My God!
Ian's done this. I told you he's gone fucking mental.
Let's get the hell outta here!
We don't know that was Ian. It could have been a bear attack.
Those are axe wounds.
He's chopped him up just like he did to Chase.
Why would he do this?
Fuck. I don't know.
Because the Ranger has our license plate number
Take me back to the van!
Drop me off at the nearest gas station! I'm on the
next plane back to fucking England!
Donnie! Just calm the fuck down!
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