1 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,491 You know what my first memory is? 2 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,722 Feeling special. 3 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,724 The first time I pooped, there was applause. 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,851 When we scribbled something in crayon, it was a Picasso. 5 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,042 Gold stickers for everyone. 6 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:33,442 C+ in gym? Perfect attendance? "Hey, here's 100 bucks." 7 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,762 When we hit a new level on Wave Race, 8 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,321 it was like we won the Olympics. 9 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,768 For kids of my generation, strike three meant one thing: 10 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,604 take your base. 11 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,366 Look out, world. Here we come. 12 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,205 Closer, closer, closer. There we go. 13 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,763 - Look at that. - You are so cute together. 14 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,127 Adorable. So, Jillian, 15 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,363 Will tells us that you are going to start working at Johnson & Johnson. 16 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,888 - That's fantastic! - Thank you. Yeah, I'm excited to start. 17 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,122 Sales Analyst. It sounds so impressive. 18 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,807 Junior Sales Analyst. But the "Junior" is gonna be gone by Christmas. 19 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,326 And Will's finally being paid at LA Weekly. 20 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,891 - Way to go, you two. - I know. 21 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,042 I told you guys, we're a power couple. 22 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,361 Will, there's a little something to get you started. 23 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,804 Wow! 24 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,689 Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Mom. 25 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,731 Will, did I ever tell you what my first job was? 26 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,167 Was it, by any chance, stacking crates of tomatoes in a warehouse, Dad? 27 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,560 Correct. 28 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,485 Must have been 100 degrees in that warehouse. 29 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,642 - You know what got me through? - I'm gonna go with air conditioning. 30 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,848 Air conditioning. 31 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,281 There was one office that was air conditioned. 32 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,010 High above the floor. 33 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,640 It was for the warehouse supervisor. 34 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,081 And I told myself right then and there, 35 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,767 "I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I'm going to get to that office." 36 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,241 Didn't that guy have a heart attack, Dad? 37 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,647 It was an aneurysm. The point is, I worked my way up 38 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,202 until I was in charge of the entire North American supply chain. 39 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,006 I am proof there's nothing you can't achieve. 40 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,640 Exactly, and that's why I'm saying this LA Weekly thing 41 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,404 is really just a springboard for me. 42 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,164 'Cause, I mean, I'm gonna dominate their Web edition. 43 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,085 I've got videos, live blogging, interactive content. 44 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,642 - I'm building my brand. - Brand? 45 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,084 - You spent the money on a TV? - Yeah. 46 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,288 That's one of the largest televisions available on the market today. 47 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,761 Seventy inches. What? 48 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,007 You want to know why we're not living together? Exhibit A. 49 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,531 Hey, J. La. Was that your sister at graduation? 50 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,250 - No. - Are you sure? 51 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,331 I saw her, like, hugging your parents and giving your dad a little... 52 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,084 I mean, can I get her phone number? 53 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,250 - Is this the iStalkU? - It's the iSearchU. 54 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,165 - If you could just mind your business. - What is iStalkU? 55 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:04,924 The iSearchU? 56 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,248 It's just an app that I'm developing. 57 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,006 Say there's a person that you want to find, but they don't want to be found. 58 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,731 Like, there's this girl, and you've called her a million times, 59 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,524 and she just won't return your messages. 60 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,331 My app allows you to send them a text message and... 61 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,603 receive back their exact location. 62 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,044 So there's nowhere to hide, Jillian's sister. Nowhere. 63 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,043 No, you cannot have her number. 64 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,089 I'll find your sister. 65 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,129 You're gonna end up in iJail getting iRaped. 66 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,170 And I'm gonna handle the iStock IPO! 67 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,850 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 68 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,321 - You don't even have a job. - I got a business degree. 69 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,801 Unlike Broke Nuts over here, I have marketable skills. 70 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,042 Unlike you, Broke Nuts has a job. 71 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,846 I have nine interviews this week. 72 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,611 Today, it's Morgan Stanley... 73 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,810 and Great Pacific. 74 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,047 I love you all. Get your lives together. 75 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,690 - Good luck, dude. - Good luck. 76 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,010 Excuse me, ma'am. Would you like to be my guest? 77 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,084 Hi, have we met? I'm Jillian. 78 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,050 - God. - Stop booing me, Charlie. 79 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,202 Just one time. Just smoke with me. 80 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,169 Make an exception. We're celebrating. 81 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:19,644 - Charlie got a job today. - McDonald's or Taco Bell? 82 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,921 Middle school chemistry teacher. 83 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,206 I weep for our future. 84 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,283 Fuck me in the ass! Fuck me! 85 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,285 Hey, Brian. 86 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,926 Hey, Will. Looking good, buddy. 87 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,641 We don't have a job for you. 88 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,405 - What do you mean? - I mean, we don't have a job for you. 89 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,641 We've downsized. 90 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:10,970 Yeah, but I'm perfect for this job. 91 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,891 I'm sorry, Will. Thank you very much. 92 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,281 Look, Brian, I got three Webisodes all ready to upload... 93 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,761 "Where to Find the Best Beef Machaca," "How to Bike the LA River," 94 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,201 and "Why Ultimate Frisbee is More Complex Than Chess." 95 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,125 You're not alone. I had to let eight people go last week. 96 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,527 Why didn't you tell me? 97 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:33,322 Honestly, with everything going on around here, I just forgot. 98 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:34,806 Good. 99 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,287 You forgot? I spent two summers interning here for free 100 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,882 so that I could have a job waiting for me after graduation, and you forgot. 101 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,690 Look, I've already told everybody about this job. 102 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,208 I told my friends and my family and my parents about this job, and you forgot! 103 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,681 Well, guess what, Brian? You can't do this kind of shit, man! 104 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,808 I deserve to be treated a little better than this. 105 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,890 And I think you owe me a little more than "I forgot." 106 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,331 I don't owe you shit. 107 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,802 "Systems administrator"? No. 108 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,564 "Nuclear pipe technician"? 109 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,848 No, you haven't laid that much pipe, so... 110 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,207 I've laid a lot of pipe, Charles. Ask your mother. 111 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,845 Sick burn. 112 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,003 - "Unemployment benefits administrator." - Yeah, dude, that one. 113 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,009 That'd be ironic. 114 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,407 It's not ironic if it's all the time. 115 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,688 You know what's all the time? Ball taps and kills. 116 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:38,844 Dude, don't play dirty, man. Don't play dirty. 117 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,008 Oh, shit. 118 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,164 Dude, I honestly have no idea what any of this shit means. 119 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,005 Well, you better figure it out soon. The rent is due Friday. 120 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,881 I know. I just need something to keep the lights on until I find my dream job. 121 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,884 I don't think you can monetize masturbation. 122 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,650 It was too good. 123 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,246 Oh, here's something in the hospitality industry. 124 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,607 You don't have any sort of medical degree. 125 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,367 Okay, there's a gun in the drawer, but you probably won't need it. 126 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,409 All right. Good night, kid. 127 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,808 There are Negroes on this boat! 128 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,689 I'm sorry to hear that. 129 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,002 You the new guy? 130 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,049 - Yeah, I am new. - Skeezy D. 131 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,326 Will. 132 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,640 Three rooms. Keep the change. 133 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,001 Girl, you better treat this man right. 134 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,730 He was in Vietnam. 135 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,325 Korea. 136 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,687 Get in there and bust a nut, Hawkeye Pierce! 137 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:58,084 Hell, Cheryl's one of my best girls. 138 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,289 - Hard worker? - That pussy comes correct. 139 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,164 - Where'd you meet her? - Met her at my last gig. 140 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,847 - Which... where was that? - Borders. 141 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,169 Borders... Borders bookstore? 142 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,800 Listen, man, shit went sideways, okay? 143 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,691 Everybody was out of work. I had to get out of there real quick. 144 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,127 So, why "Skeezy D"? 145 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:28,650 Men who hire prostitutes aren't paying them for sex, Will. 146 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,361 They're paying for danger. 147 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,330 They're paying to feel alive. 148 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,961 Hey, motherfucker, you better pay my bitch what you owe. 149 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:47,571 They're paying for a certain joie de vivre. 150 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,406 That's French. 151 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,647 I'm not resisting arrest. Okay, I'm not resisting arrest. 152 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,326 Okay, I'm not resisting arrest. I'm not. 153 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,164 I'm not. I'm not. 154 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,129 Hey, bitch, we had a deal! 155 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,408 You were renting out rooms to hookers? 156 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,130 - Skeezy said they're here every... - No, no. 157 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,123 That's not the kind of establishment I'm running here. 158 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,442 Read the sign there, kid. It says "No prostitution." 159 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,126 That clearly includes hookers. 160 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,521 You're fired. 161 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:38,366 I'm sorry, Officer. I just got to be a little more careful about who I hire. 162 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,522 - You do that. - Yeah. Will do. Will do. 163 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,087 Thanks for everything you do, Officer. 164 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,365 Sorry, kid. 165 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,688 Shit rolls downhill. You know what I'm saying? 166 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,367 You get it. You get it. You'll be all right. 167 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,482 Son of a bitch! 168 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,044 Hey, Dad? 169 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,963 I gotta ask you for money. 170 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,082 Will, you're a grown-up now. 171 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,322 I'm not gonna give you any more money. 172 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,084 Dad, what am I supposed to do? 173 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,607 You want me to go sell my body on the street? 174 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,531 Enough of the life lessons here, man. I am broke. 175 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,530 - I literally have no money for anything. - I lost my job. 176 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,366 Are you serious? 177 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,244 Afraid so. 178 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,442 Well, what happened? 179 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,811 Apparently, I was so successful at streamlining the beverage supply chain 180 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,361 that I made my own job obsolete. 181 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,284 So, what are you gonna do? 182 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,488 I'm going to get a job! 183 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,689 I'm gonna follow my ABC's, stay positive, 184 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,207 and in the interim, look! 185 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,966 I can tackle all the chores I never had time for. 186 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,362 You guys gotta get your lives together. 187 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,086 Top 1 %, here I come, baby! 188 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,762 Hey, this guy got a job. 189 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,367 It's called Top Deck Securities. I start clerking next month. 190 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,410 If I kick ass, I'll be making trades by December. 191 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,121 From this point on, it's gonna be coffee and cocaine for me, baby. 192 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,282 Do you take change for dollars? 193 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,169 No, no. Keep it. You worked hard. 194 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,322 You've got an incredible amount of torque. 195 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,642 You deserve so much more money than this, 196 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,525 but I'm on a teacher's salary. 197 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,327 If you want to see the show, you gotta pay for it. 198 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,410 No, I'm just here for the free buffet. 199 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:55,002 The buffet is free 'cause you're supposed to be spending money on me. 200 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,006 I guess I found a loophole. 201 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,687 - Your friend's got an attitude. - He's out of work. 202 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,320 So buy him a lap dance to cheer him up. 203 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,201 - Yeah. - I'd like to get to know you sometime. 204 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,681 - Don't get her pregnant. - Oh, hey, look. 205 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,530 - I have a girlfriend. - Yo, Will! 206 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,764 - So, you're looking for a job? - Yeah. 207 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:29,084 What would you do if you won the lottery and never had to work again? 208 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,720 - I don't know. - What's your passion? 209 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,566 What do you love to do? 210 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,166 I like to make funny YouTube videos. 211 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,044 Oh, if you like making YouTube videos, 212 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,407 why aren't you looking for corporate video work? 213 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,643 Corporate? Yeah, I don't do corporate. 214 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,882 Listen, babe. 215 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,807 When you're first starting out, you gotta stay flexible. 216 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,888 - Do you know what we do here, Hamilton? - Trade stocks. 217 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,202 Wrong. We make money. 218 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:09,490 This is Hamilton. He is clerking for us. 219 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,808 I had to shit-can that other douchebag 220 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,725 because, well, I couldn't stand looking at his face anymore. 221 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,680 - Put all your orders in through him. - Wait, I get to put in orders? 222 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,083 - More than you can imagine. - Hell, yeah. 223 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,282 Go across the street, get me three triple espressos. 224 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,442 Put three sugars in each one. None of that Splenda shit. 225 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,409 - I want the real thing. - Go to Fatburger. 226 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,449 Get me 12 double XLs with extra cheese, 227 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,921 12 chili-cheese fat fries, nine milk shakes. 228 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,851 Hey, go to 7-Eleven. Pick me up 25 Black Cherry lottery tickets. 229 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,361 Fifteen grand top prize. You scratch them off. 230 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,170 Start from the bottom. Odd numbers first. 231 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,484 - Go! Go, go, go... - Still here? Still here? 232 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,448 And I better fucking win! 233 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,020 What are you doing? 234 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,567 - I need a sexy video of you. - Yeah, I don't think so. 235 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,883 I made an appointment to donate sperm. What? 236 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,362 Your best idea for making rent is masturbating into a cup? 237 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,568 I'm an accomplished masturbator. 238 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,802 Will, I don't know what's going on with you. 239 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,281 At school, you always had a million different things going on. 240 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,761 Your energy was contagious. It's what I loved about you. 241 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:17,403 And right now, it feels like you're just flailing around, making it up as you go. 242 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,927 I saw a job counselor last week. 243 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,090 Really? A job counselor? 244 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:27,245 And she was all over me about forming a strategy, and just really... 245 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,243 She rode me to stay flexible, 246 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,290 and so we decided to focus on corporate video work. 247 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,762 I sent out my résumé. I should start interviewing next week. 248 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,922 Come here. 249 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:41,607 Do you remember Ultimate Frisbee? Not the districts, the regionals. 250 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,604 I made that 50-yard huck to Sullivan. It was an awesome pass. 251 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,810 - I don't know what we're talking about. - What I'm saying is, don't worry. 252 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,201 I'm at my best when my back is against the wall. 253 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,488 This isn't college, Will. 254 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,283 Please, I need you to step up. 255 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,966 Thirty years, one company. Wow! 256 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,522 An employer sees this, and they see a dinosaur. 257 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,164 Well, I can't say that I agree with you there, Hernando. 258 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,402 - Fernando. - It's Fernando? 259 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,921 You should do whatever you can to look younger. 260 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,923 For starters, lose the beard. 261 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,890 An image consult is included with the Platinum Package. 262 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,168 We'll give you a workstation, some place to go every morning. 263 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:29,241 And we will produce a video résumé that will set you above the rabble. 264 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,564 But all of that is just preparation for the main event. 265 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,282 Wilheimer has an 85% placement rate, Mr. Davis. 266 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,171 - Wow! - How do you think we make that number? 267 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,766 - Well, I... - That's a rhetorical question. 268 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:47,931 While everyone else is out there wasting their time, 269 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,321 meeting mid-level HR hacks, 270 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,927 Wilheimer will be putting you in front of the person 271 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:58,085 who can pull the trigger and actually hire you. 272 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,891 - The decision maker? - The decision maker. 273 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,769 - That's right. Well... - I like it. 274 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,161 Bottom line, how much are we talking here? 275 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:15,651 The Platinum Package is a one-time fee of $30,000. 276 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,124 No, seriously, how much are we talking? 277 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,085 Hey, there! 278 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,931 - Tough day? - What? 279 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,404 No, no, no. 280 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,121 A tough day is just an unrealized great day. 281 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,611 Well, then, I'm gonna hook you up with some Rockin' Moroccan. 282 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,649 It's like legal hash. 283 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,966 I'm Cammy. What's your name? 284 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,282 - Roger. - Roger that. 285 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,804 Oh, to go, please. 286 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,170 Hello? 287 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,169 Oh, hey, honey. How are you? 288 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:27,924 I'm at the office. 289 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,203 Oh, that music? Yeah, well, I... 290 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,402 That's... 291 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,927 You know Jerry. He's just trying to jazz up his... 292 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,003 I should get back to that meeting, honey. 293 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,009 I'll see you in a few hours, okay? 294 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,521 I love you too. Bye. 295 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,760 That was my wife. 296 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,249 Well, look, we have free Wi-Fi and three-prong outlets out the wazoo. 297 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:56,646 So... 298 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,807 And don't worry, Rog. 299 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,566 No one here has a job. 300 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:32,409 You children may begin. 301 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,690 Now, the goal of this experiment is to create an even coating, 302 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,566 no excess charring, and no cold spots. 303 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,762 I mean it, Dayjon. 304 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,969 And remember, don't stare in the flame for too long, because it will... 305 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,880 steal your soul. 306 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,042 Let me see that. Yeah. 307 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,331 That is close to perfection. 308 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,882 - Mr. Baxter? - Stop calling me that! 309 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,605 It's Charlie, okay? 310 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,491 Okay, Charlie. 311 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,928 Why do all of our experiments involve making food? 312 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,846 I get the munchies after free period. 313 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,722 - Any more questions, Sergeant Buzzkill? - No. 314 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,689 - Mr. Baxter? - It's Charlie! 315 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,763 My sixth grade basketball coach just quit. 316 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,524 You interested in the position? 317 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,002 I'm sorry, do I look like someone with free time on his hands? 318 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,605 It's an extra $100 a week. 319 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,688 They will prosper under my tutelage. 320 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,970 Tanya Sellers, Human Resources. 321 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,810 Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. 322 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,243 We received close to 1,000 résumés for the videographer position. 323 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,323 I was just glad that you called. 324 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,369 Katherine Dunn oversees our video services, 325 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,522 but she's in China on a leadership conference, 326 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,968 so you get a nonstop flight to the decision maker himself, 327 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,531 Lawrence Wilheimer. 328 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,926 He's a legend in executive placement. 329 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,003 He revolutionized the game. 330 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,686 - Make sure you check out his package. - His retirement package? 331 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,980 His package-package. He's hung like a fucking minotaur. 332 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,320 Fat. 333 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,326 - William Davis. - Yes, sir. 334 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:25,201 "Vast experience in all aspects of video production." 335 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,169 Could you elaborate on that? 336 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,924 Well, sir, for the past seven years, 337 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,726 I've been producing original video content for YouTube. 338 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,888 - YouTube? - Yes, sir. 339 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,487 I think YouTube is the perfect training ground for producing video résumés 340 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,290 that really stand out from the crowd. 341 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,569 And clients of Southern California's premiere executive placement firm 342 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,330 deserve those kind of résumés. 343 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,448 Ones that grab the employer's attention, don't let go. 344 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,244 Even if they say "uncle." 345 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,882 So, hire William Davis, and your clients will... 346 00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:01,089 Hire William Davis, and your clients will rise above the rest of the... 347 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,408 I'm so sorry about that. Hire William Davis, 348 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,245 and your clients will rise above and... 349 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,880 That's what you want, right? 350 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,323 My girlfriend and I are having a fight. Do you mind if I... 351 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,485 What could be more important? 352 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,563 Thank you, sir. That's what I'm saying. 353 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,403 And send. 354 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,085 So, where were we? 355 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,005 I was showing you the door, Mr. Davis. 356 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,366 That's it over there. 357 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,683 Okay. Thank you. 358 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,564 Look, sir, I don't think... 359 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,007 I don't know if this is the exact subject matter that you're looking for, 360 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,288 but I think that this really showcases my abilities 361 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,090 to recognize what's unique about an individual 362 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,523 and how to foreground that for the marketplace. 363 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,805 What is your business philosophy? 364 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,926 It is all about customer satisfaction. 365 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:03,722 We are basically the Burlington Coat Factory of bitches. 366 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,651 I got bitches on layaway, you know what I'm saying? 367 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,286 For $599, you can mark down a bitch. 368 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,808 All right, hey, just, you know, be careful with it, man. 369 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,527 I really don't like these guys. 370 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,160 Watch your fingerprints. Are you serious? 371 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,527 That's a big-boy TV. Come on, man. 372 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,889 - Use an HDMI cord. Don't use... - Thanks, bro. 373 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,644 Take care of my TV, bro. 374 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:31,001 - Yeah, this is Will. - Will, Tanya, from Wilheimer. 375 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,363 - Are you calling about my interview? - Sure am. 376 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,569 - Mr. Wilheimer pressing charges? - You're in, player! 377 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,370 - What? - You're in. 378 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,170 Starting salary is $26,000, 379 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,210 partial health benefits kick in after 90 days. 380 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:46,203 Wait, are you saying that I have a job? 381 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,521 That's what I'm saying. 382 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,087 Wait, wait, wait! 383 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,083 Hello, you got good news. 384 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,608 Tell Will he gets the job as soon as he passes a drug test. 385 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,001 Drug test? Is it multiple choice? 386 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,602 Hey, what's up, Dad? 387 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,681 What's going on? 388 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:09,841 I got a job. 389 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,002 Hey! 390 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,089 - That's great! - I know. 391 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,368 It's at this place called Wilheimer. They do job placement. 392 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,285 Oh, yeah. I've heard good things. 393 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,966 I just need one thing... 394 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,883 and I'm good to go. 395 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,290 - You're smoking pot? - I'm an occasional user! 396 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,124 I never smoke and drive! 397 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:33,001 And you want me to urinate into this bottle so that you can pass a drug test? 398 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,891 - Goddamn it! - Dad, look, there's no one else I can ask. 399 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,328 I'm hanging by a thread with Jillian, plus they might be able to screen for gender. 400 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,888 Ethan is tainted, Luke is unclean, and Charlie's radioactive. 401 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:44,246 What am I supposed to do? 402 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:45,680 Get new friends! 403 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,171 I have a job. 404 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,885 I've a real job for a real company. 405 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,883 The kind of job that you've been bugging me to get for years. 406 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,088 And if I don't produce an immaculate cup of urine, 407 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,124 it's back to the unemployment line. Is that what you want? 408 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,647 No, it's not what I want. You know that. 409 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,451 I just don't feel comfortable doing this. 410 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,451 Okay. 411 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:04,965 Air conditioning, so... 412 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,327 - No. - It was 100 degrees in that warehouse, 413 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,323 and you did whatever it took to get off the floor. 414 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,881 And that's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. 415 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,849 I'm doing what you told me. 416 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,969 What happened to you? 417 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,202 Hey, I just pulled a hammy. 418 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,089 - Pounding box? - What? 419 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,402 Pounding box? Putting it in that pussy. 420 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,050 Giving it to her. Yeah. 421 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,521 No, I was hitting the gym. 422 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,444 - Hitting those weights. - All right. 423 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,768 - Ready to make it rain? - Ready as I'll ever be. 424 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,650 What are you doing? 425 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,009 I'm required to be in here, in case you try some monkey business. 426 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,130 Okay. Are you gonna come in the stall with me too? 427 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,369 No stall, baby doll. You gotta rock out with that cock out. 428 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,966 I'll just be right behind here, listening close. 429 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,369 Okay, I kind of have a shy bladder. 430 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,649 Oh, that's too bad, because you have 30 seconds. 431 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,245 Starting now! 432 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,082 If you're having trouble, just think of waterfalls! 433 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,083 Or, like, fire hoses just blasting water out. 434 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,528 22, 21... 435 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,251 Think of, like, things gushing! 436 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,249 Or, like, squirting. 437 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,647 18, 17... 438 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:55,169 You know, I'm a squirter, but only if I'm, like, comfortable with a person. 439 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:01,091 Ten, nine, eight, 440 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:05,404 seven, six, five... 441 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,244 All right, that's enough! I'm coming in! 442 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,561 Got it! 443 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,570 Hi-ho, Silver. 444 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,285 Wow! 445 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:26,409 Oh, my God. Oh, shit. 446 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,241 Man, I should get a job more often. 447 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,011 - Fuck, yeah! - Fuck, yeah! That was awesome. 448 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,804 I have something else for you. 449 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,086 Back door? 450 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,930 - Yeah, I'll go get my strap-on. - Okay. 451 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,286 You love it! 452 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:44,970 What is this? 453 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,082 Can I see it? 454 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,242 Yeah, yeah. Of course. 455 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,240 Oh, baby. 456 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,084 My unique skill set allows me to seamlessly integrate 457 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,561 into a range of management structures, 458 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,327 which makes me highly employable in today's marketplace. 459 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,206 Mainly I've found that dealing with people is my best skill. 460 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,611 I have a lot of charisma. 461 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:24,126 An ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse. 462 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,329 A warrior takes it as a challenge. 463 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,564 Who are you? 464 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,204 Exciting stuff. 465 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:43,646 Yeah, it's riveting. 466 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,126 Just follow the boilerplate, and you'll be fine. 467 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,602 Clients choose from three backgrounds. Skyline. 468 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:56,129 There's also Corner Office and Bookshelf. 469 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,641 Corner Office and Bookshelf. Got it. 470 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,328 I made a video in here once. 471 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,966 And I'm not the only one. 472 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,481 Okay, thank you. Thank you. 473 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,961 Oh, Mr. Wilheimer, I wanted to thank you for this opportunity. 474 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:17,169 Oh, well, always on the lookout for fresh talent, Will. 475 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,651 Just one thing. 476 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,491 Could you put me in touch with that fellow from your video? 477 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,324 The... 478 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,483 Yes, sir. In six months to a year. 479 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,120 Depending on good behavior. 480 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,364 What the fuck? What the fuck! 481 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,606 How is it possible to be this bad? 482 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,364 Ball. 483 00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:58,681 Okay. 484 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,525 Kwan, let's review the basics. 485 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:03,886 Give and go! 486 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,370 Jesus Christ. 487 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:16,001 Big Stuff, anyone ever show you how to set a pick? 488 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:17,207 No. 489 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,004 Get ready to bring some pain. 490 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,250 Hamilton! 491 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:34,731 Come here! 492 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,811 This is deer scent. 493 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,207 I use it out in the wild when I hunt. 494 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,889 I use it in here, 495 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,931 when I think a clerk is ready for his very own desk. 496 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,280 Drink it. 497 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,240 Hold it! 498 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,682 I'm gonna go ahead and let him make up his own mind. 499 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,322 Do you want your own desk? 500 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,446 Or do you want to be a fucking clerk the rest of your life? 501 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,444 Your call. 502 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,765 Two-to-one he drinks the deer cum. 503 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,283 Deer cum? 504 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,681 Drink it. Drink the deer cum. 505 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,763 Deer cum. 506 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,764 Deer cum! Deer cum! Deer cum! 507 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,648 Uh-oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think it's coming back up. 508 00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,928 500 bucks says he gonna hurl. 509 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:05,007 - Breathe. - You like that nutty taste in your mouth? 510 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:06,810 Oh, that's Bambi batter. 511 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,330 Give it to me. 512 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:10,481 Roll it around. 513 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,086 Awesome! 514 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:45,530 Did you see the arc on that? 515 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,366 You're my bitch. 516 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,965 Hey, guys, you're gonna want to pause the game for this. 517 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,849 - Ethan, what are you doing, man? - Come on, man! 518 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,446 It's a game of Halo! Relax, I've got something to show you. 519 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,881 - Wait! - Come on, move. 520 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,802 This better be good. 521 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,040 Oh, my God! 522 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,123 Dude, I found some extra tubing in my chem class. 523 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:09,685 I put my little boys and girls to work. 524 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,729 - Nice! - What's the special occasion? 525 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,405 Yeah, we're celebrating me getting a desk. 526 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,847 - Oh, that's right. - And me buying an island. 527 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,923 - You're not buying an island. - No? 528 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,168 Because I met someone who knows Warren Buffett's bridge partner. 529 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,402 I'm gonna offer him some stock from my company 530 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,801 in exchange for Warren Buffett's cell phone number. 531 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,480 I'm gonna iSearchU Warren Buffett, pitch him my app, 532 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,405 gain access to billions of dollars in venture capital, 533 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,564 buy my island, and populate it with porn stars. 534 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,041 I'm sorry I doubted you. 535 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,601 - No, you didn't know the plan. - I didn't know the plan. 536 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,282 Rick. What's up, man? 537 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:50,561 Oh, Will, this is Katherine Dunn, Vice President of our Client Services. 538 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,929 It's good to have you back. Get ready to have your mind blown. 539 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,606 Because I'm taking video résumés to the next level. 540 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,683 Okay? Ready for this? 541 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,809 People think accountants are a bunch of number-crunching nerds, 542 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,445 but I'm a jazz buff 543 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,207 I like to think of the tax code as my instrument. 544 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:45,000 I'm Tom Wilson, at tomwilsonaccountant.com. 545 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,966 That was quite impactful. 546 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:52,281 So, what do we think? 547 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:53,771 I think it makes him seem youthful. 548 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,082 Yeah, until now, I always thought of Tom as a total dud. 549 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,843 This is an executive placement firm, Mr. Davis, 550 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,241 not MTV. 551 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,801 Yeah, nobody's going to hire this guy because of his personality. 552 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,201 Yeah, he needs to look professional. 553 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,210 Everyone's always loved the old résumés, so... 554 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,929 You seem to have mistaken this video 555 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:21,165 as an opportunity to express yourself, Mr. Davis. 556 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:25,086 From now on, you will follow the guidebook to the letter. 557 00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:29,086 Yeah, I found the guidebook to be kind of limiting. 558 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,244 I wrote the guidebook, Mr. Davis. 559 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,209 And while I have you here, 560 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,001 there are some issues of comportment that apparently need clarification. 561 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,403 You will maintain a professional appearance. 562 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,729 That means a suit and a tie. 563 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,611 It does not mean sneakers. 564 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,331 It does not mean khakis. 565 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:57,041 It does not mean that unwashed rag you call a T-shirt. 566 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,046 Got it. 567 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:01,685 "Got it"? 568 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:03,601 Understood? 569 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,567 And while I was away, 570 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:14,123 I was a recipient of several of your reply-all e-mails. 571 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:18,046 They were inappropriate, offensive, 572 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:22,171 and most of all, not funny. 573 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:26,325 Nobody wants a birthday spanking from you, Mr. Davis. 574 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:35,048 And finally, I took a look at your Facebook page 575 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,409 and was confronted with this sordid image. 576 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,242 I was there for the buffet. 577 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:49,401 You are an employee of this company, Mr. Davis. 578 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,724 Your behavior must conform to the exacting standards 579 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,208 of the Wilheimer Executive Placement Firm. 580 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,761 - Is that understood? - Understood. 581 00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:02,400 - Understood? - Understood. 582 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,723 Hi, Pearl. Roger Davis. 583 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,723 Is Mr. Gentry in? 584 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,689 He's not? Okay. 585 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,083 Do you know if he's had a chance to look at my résumé yet? 586 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,848 Regional Distribution Manager, Scanner and Disk Duplicator Division? 587 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,370 No. Okay. 588 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:32,245 Do you know if he received the package of Rockin' Moroccan coffee that... 589 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,563 Oh, hello? Okay, why don't you hang up first? 590 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,329 - Hey! - Hey. 591 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:42,845 Hi, buddy! 592 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,366 Come on into my office here. 593 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,124 Cammy, come on over. 594 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,931 This is Will. Will, this is my friend, Cammy. 595 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,242 Hey, Will. How's the job working out? 596 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,841 - It's good. - Good. 597 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,843 Dad, what did you do to your beard? 598 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,482 Well, I lost two jobs in a week to people in their 30s. 599 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:05,690 So Cammy volunteered to make me look ten years younger. 600 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,684 Gothic Raven. What do you think? 601 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,203 Yeah. 602 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,044 Cammy, are you helping him out with his Twitter feed, too? 603 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,009 Oh, Rog doesn't need any help. 604 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,050 Yeah? I think Rog needs a little bit of help. 605 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:22,410 "My friend Jim lost his mother yesterday. LOL, Jim." 606 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,528 What? "Lots of love." 607 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,961 It's okay. You want another one, Rog? 608 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,441 Keep them coming. Oh, one for Will, too, please. 609 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,722 - Oh, yeah. - I'm okay, whoever you are. 610 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,803 So, what's up? 611 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,725 Well, my supervisor's back from leave, and she is a total ballbuster. 612 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,564 I mean, she was on my ass about my e-mails, 613 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,643 and my Facebook page, and how I dress in front of everybody. 614 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,723 It was humiliating. 615 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,962 Wait, this isn't how you dress at work, is it? 616 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,363 Dad, I'm the video guy. Who cares what I look like? 617 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,729 Look, just stop, okay? Stop for a second. 618 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:56,522 Your clients pay $30,000 for your services. 619 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,170 They care what you look like. 620 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,483 You need to conform to their standards, not the other way around. 621 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:05,281 And the fact that you can't grasp that is mind-boggling! 622 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:07,846 What is up with you? 623 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,322 What is up with me is, I've sent out hundreds of résumés, 624 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,767 and I've gotten only three interviews. 625 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,083 What is up with me is, I don't want to hear you bitch and moan 626 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:20,164 that your employer makes you act in a professional manner. 627 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:21,771 That is what's up with me. 628 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,082 Okay, Dad, well, look, I'm sorry for telling you how I feel. 629 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,045 I didn't know just because I have a job and you don't that you wouldn't listen to me. 630 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:31,370 Oh, I'm listening, all right, but all I hear is a spoiled little brat! 631 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:33,646 Okay. 632 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:37,971 You look like Billy Mays. 633 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:43,371 - I look like Willie Mays? - You look like Billy Mays! 634 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,488 Who's Billy Mays? 635 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,407 If you're gonna tell someone off, make it clear! 636 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,403 What do you think? 637 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,803 Hot. Very, very hot. 638 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,487 They're Prada. 639 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:13,449 They were $779. 640 00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,208 I know. I just... 641 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,281 I just want them to take me seriously at work. 642 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,046 Everybody takes you seriously. 643 00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:27,326 - They do? - Yes, they do. 644 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,403 Sophomore year. 645 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,564 We're running Ultimate Frisbee drills down in the lounge. 646 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,001 Ethan comes in and says that there's a situation 647 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,128 that I need to handle downstairs. 648 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:43,320 So, I go downstairs, and I see this tiny little person 649 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,409 in pajamas and slippers, 650 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:49,007 and she is so, so angry. 651 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,365 I was trying to study. 652 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,526 The moment that I saw you, I knew that you were someone to take seriously. 653 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,921 What are you gonna do about work, Will? 654 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,684 Have a nice day, boys! 655 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,286 Hey! Ooh, it's coming down. 656 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,560 - Look at you. - Yeah, right? 657 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,123 Look at you. 658 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,123 Oh, yeah. 659 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,766 - Yeah, looks good. - Well... Thanks. 660 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,488 - So, is anything good here? - Oh, everything's good here. 661 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:18,846 - Really? - Yeah. 662 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,162 Can I get two pork and bean burritos, 663 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,209 four beef machacas, and two beers? 664 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,884 - Hey, what are you doing? - I'm paying for our... 665 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,644 No, you're not. Tonight's on me. 666 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:38,607 Oh, man. 667 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,888 This is my first machaca. It's great. 668 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,046 Hey, Dad. 669 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:47,650 I'm sorry about last week. 670 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,170 Yeah, me too. 671 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,201 Could we get some beer, please? Two tequila shots. 672 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,010 Let's get hammered. 673 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:02,326 Cheers. 674 00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:05,366 Drink up. 675 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,206 - Fuck. - See? 676 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:09,361 Yeah, it's all right. 677 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,249 All right, Dad. You know why we're doing this? 678 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:12,526 - Why? - We're doing this 679 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,205 so that what's-his-name... 680 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:15,646 - Your... - Oh, my guy? 681 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,446 James Gentry. The decision maker. 682 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,291 Right. So James Gentry can find out who you are. 683 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:24,125 Yeah. Who am I? 684 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,249 You're a great man. 685 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,686 You supported me my whole life, Dad. Let me repay the favor, please. 686 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,121 Okay. 687 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,049 - Okay. Ready? - Okay. 688 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:41,447 - Do this again, that makes me know. - Yeah, okay. 689 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:43,924 Let's press record. 690 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,531 - Go. - My name is Roger Davis. 691 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,809 I'm very punctual, and faithful... 692 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,243 Oh, God! I'm so terrible at this. 693 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,401 I need to do something productive. 694 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,570 Something worthwhile. 695 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,404 Really all it's about. 696 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,487 Do you know, work has always been more important to me 697 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,483 than anyone else I know? 698 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:21,087 It just has. I love it. I love it. 699 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:28,723 I just need to get into the employer and see them. 700 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,281 Do you know? One-on-one. 701 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,523 And if they can just somehow get to know me, 702 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:35,806 just even a little bit, 703 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,009 then they would know why they should hire me. 704 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,444 That is the goal. That's the goal. 705 00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,645 So, anyway, I'm sorry. I'm blabbering on. 706 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,643 All right, we need to do this. 707 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,451 - All right. - No, we're good. 708 00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:55,965 No, I'll try it, I'll try it. 709 00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:57,724 Dad, another time. 710 00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,640 All right. 711 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,531 If I drink anymore of this, this is not going to go well. 712 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,205 - Well, we got six more to go. - Whoa! 713 00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:06,487 Yeah! 714 00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,644 You did that on purpose, didn't you? 715 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,121 - Absolutely! - You did! 716 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:13,611 You did, too. 717 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:34,041 - Good afternoon, Mr. Buffett. - Oh, jeez! 718 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,487 I am sure you're wondering how I knew that you were in town. 719 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,962 Because you read it in the LA Times? 720 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:41,360 Damn it! 721 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,364 Actually, through the use of GPS triangulation, 722 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,522 my app, the iSearchU, 723 00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:48,284 allowed me to send you a text message 724 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,169 and receive back your exact location, 725 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,607 right down to this stall. It's incredible! 726 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,003 You know Foursquare does that already, right? 727 00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:57,446 No, no, no. You don't get it. 728 00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,206 Foursquare lets you tell other people where you are. 729 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,921 My app tells me where you are even if you don't want me to know. 730 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,889 It's a game changer, sir, okay? 731 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,088 I'm telling you, if you say yes right now, 732 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:11,164 I can promise you 50-50 in my company. 733 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,927 60-40. 734 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:18,809 You drive a hard bargain, sir. 735 00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,361 65-35, last offer. 736 00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,569 You know... I like it. 737 00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,085 You do? 738 00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,402 Let me text my people. 739 00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:33,688 Oh, my God! I knew that you would like it. 740 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,764 You're the Oracle of Omaha. You are a visionary like me, sir. 741 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,167 This is incredible. 742 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:40,810 What the fuck is this? 743 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:42,450 What the fuck? Hey! 744 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,848 Who has security guards when they take shits? 745 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,889 What the fuck is wrong with you, Buffett? 746 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,281 You can't hide from the iStalkU! 747 00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,124 Buffett! 748 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:56,881 Double-shot white chocolate mocha with extra cream. 749 00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,849 Where are we on the Fredericks video? 750 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,843 On schedule for tomorrow afternoon. 751 00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,331 I was hoping for some personal time tomorrow afternoon. 752 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:07,041 Say no more. 753 00:46:07,240 --> 00:46:09,925 I will stay late tonight and get it to you first thing in the morning. 754 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:14,685 Will? 755 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,848 There are going to be some changes around here. 756 00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,611 Changes? 757 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,367 I'm taking Wilheimer into the 21 st century. 758 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:29,363 There will be a new position created, Vice President of Corporate Communications. 759 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,967 You keep up the good work, that Vice President is you. 760 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,169 - Hey, Fernando. - Fernando. 761 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,606 - Sorry? - Fernando. 762 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,730 Fernando, right. Tanya said that I should talk to you. 763 00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:43,405 About what? 764 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,483 I have some extra work that I'm doing tonight, 765 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,768 and I just need a little help. 766 00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,969 - You want me to do your work for you? - No, no, no. 767 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,164 What I'm saying is that she said that I should talk to you. 768 00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:55,481 About, you know... 769 00:46:58,160 --> 00:46:59,685 I have ADD. 770 00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,206 You know there's two Fernandos in this office? 771 00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,649 Fernando Little, Director of Client Services, 772 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,366 Division Sales Leader, three years running. 773 00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,443 And Fernando, the janitor. 774 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,527 Mi madre, she's a psychiatrist. 775 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,411 So, I can hook you up with whatever you need. 776 00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:22,846 Those are drugs. 777 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:25,886 Saw you last night. 778 00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:29,690 With tu papa. 779 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,044 You're not gonna tell anyone, are you? 780 00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,248 Wasn't close to mi papa. 781 00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:39,691 Your words... 782 00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:42,760 They moved me. 783 00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:50,250 I will take it to the grave. 784 00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,922 Now, someone with extra work... 785 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,330 - may I recommend... - Dexedrine? 786 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,485 Sexy Dexy. 787 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:07,649 He's an attorney. And I worked at his legal practice, 788 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,280 as an intern... 789 00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:14,650 Mainly I found that dealing with people was my best skill. 790 00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,201 So, he would have me deliver... 791 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,408 We started out delivering packages... 792 00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:24,246 And then ultimately... 793 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,368 I have a lot of charisma. 794 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:28,921 My unique... I can be... 795 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:30,491 ...makes me highly... 796 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:34,008 ...highly employable in today's marketplace. 797 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,248 I'm Lawrence Wilheimer and I'm old! 798 00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,482 And I don't understand technology because I'm so old. 799 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,246 So I have Will clear my browser history every day! 800 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:46,807 Oh, my God! 801 00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,689 - Who's the decision maker? - You are. 802 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,286 - You... You're... You are... - That's good. 803 00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,728 - Will Davis. - Dude! 804 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:56,848 - You're viral! - What? 805 00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:00,607 Your Skeezy video has over 114,000 hits on YouTube! 806 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,808 - YouTube? - Yeah, YouTube. 807 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,001 YouTube? YouTube? 808 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,605 It's fucking YouTube. Am I saying this wrong? 809 00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:07,125 - Yeah, that's YouTube. - That's YouTube, right? 810 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:08,406 - Yeah, that's... - Yeah, let him know. 811 00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:09,686 It's YouTube, Will! 812 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:16,205 Well, I structured my business 813 00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:19,489 around the same eco-friendly model as Ben and Jerry's. 814 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:20,761 You know what I'm sayin'? 815 00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:23,651 Bitches going to go for the pimp with best work environment. 816 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,644 That's why we got free STD testing, free condoms... 817 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,340 I'm viral! Yes! 818 00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:33,365 And even a dental plan. You can't be having no toothless bitches! 819 00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,926 How much you know about us as a company, Will? 820 00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:39,082 Absolutely nothing. 821 00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:42,722 Join the club, brother. We will fix that. 822 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,962 - Sweat Body Spray? - Yeah. 823 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:46,485 When kids put that on, 824 00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,642 I want them to know they're sending a message. 825 00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,246 - Guess what the message is? - "I'm cool." 826 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,051 No, the message is, "I'm down to fuck." 827 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,851 - Okay. - Or be fucked. 828 00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,927 Hey, Lon. I still don't know why I'm here exactly. 829 00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:03,923 Why you're here? I'll tell you why you're here. 830 00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,003 You're here because I want you 831 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,527 to head up our Internet and viral marketing. 832 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:12,040 You're offering me a job? 833 00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:13,804 I saw the Skeezy D video, 834 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,928 and it blew my fucking mind inside out! 835 00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:17,411 I'm up all night. I can't sleep 836 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,291 because I'm watching this video over and over and over again, 837 00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,205 screaming at the TV, "Just tell me what you want me to buy!" 838 00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,728 Yeah. Ooh, spank that monkey. 839 00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,803 Spank, spank that monkey, yeah. 840 00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:32,168 That's my niece. 841 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,051 All right, so what kind of salary are we talking? 842 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,726 Okay. I can offer you 22. 843 00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,087 Ooh, that's not a lot. 844 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:42,445 Will... 845 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:46,008 We're marketing to kids that were doing triple irony in kindergarten. 846 00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:47,889 And you... 847 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:49,485 You are so fucking ironic, 848 00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,530 you've gone all the way around the track, back to authentic. 849 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,126 You're irontic, man. You're irontic! 850 00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:58,481 "Irontic"? 851 00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,884 - Ding-dong! Going down. - What are you doing? 852 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:06,721 Will, if you told me to take our entire marketing budget 853 00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:10,726 and blow it on a billboard with nothing but pictures of fat, veiny cocks, I'd do it! 854 00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:12,331 I'll do whatever you say! 855 00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:15,086 Tell me what to do, man. Tell me what to do! 856 00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:17,287 Guess who's awesome? 857 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,920 I am. Will is awesome. I did it. 858 00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:21,844 I stepped up, babe. I did exactly... 859 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,162 There you are. I did exactly what you told me to do. 860 00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,641 I stepped up big time. And I got great news for us. 861 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,928 - I got fired. - What? 862 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:32,001 I got fired today. 863 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,083 They called me in to Human Resources, 864 00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:37,483 and I thought I was getting promoted. That's how stupid I am. 865 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,290 You're not stupid. 866 00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,091 Yeah, I am. 867 00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:44,765 I'm $90,000 in debt. 868 00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,561 And I spent $779 on a pair of shoes! 869 00:51:48,720 --> 00:51:51,166 It's going to be okay. 870 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,766 No, it's not. How is this going to be okay? 871 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,725 Because you're gonna... You're gonna get another job. 872 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:03,962 I'm sorry, Will... 873 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:07,922 What are you... What are we celebrating? 874 00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,929 Katherine is gonna put me up for a promotion. 875 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,047 That's great! That's great. 876 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:27,008 At least one of us has a career, right? 877 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:28,531 Come here. 878 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,365 That's great. 879 00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,009 What am I going to do for rent? 880 00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:48,011 Hey, roomie! 881 00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:55,208 FYI, we leave porn laying around, so just, like, embrace it. 882 00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:58,643 The week started out bad. 883 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:00,723 My severance ran out. The mortgage was due. 884 00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:04,362 I pillaged my 401 (k). I was spiraling. 885 00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:08,002 And then on Tuesday, I finally get an interview with Xerox. 886 00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:13,085 And I went in there and I killed. 887 00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:17,882 I mean, it was the kind of interview that you dream about. 888 00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:23,080 And it was so good, that I remember tearing up in the elevator. 889 00:53:23,240 --> 00:53:26,130 And I knew... I knew they were gonna send me on to Gentry. 890 00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:29,329 I knew I was finally going to meet the decision maker. 891 00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,250 And ever since then, nothing. 892 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,290 Bupkis. 893 00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:44,162 I just need the bathroom key. 894 00:53:46,240 --> 00:53:47,685 Sorry. 895 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,765 Cammy! 896 00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:54,809 How do I get to James Gentry? 897 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,924 I've e-mailed, I've texted, I've twittered. 898 00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,401 I've called his home. I spoke to his wife. 899 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:01,925 You called his house? 900 00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:03,411 Well, the conversation was brief. 901 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:05,005 It was dinner time. She had company. 902 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,730 But I think I made an impression! 903 00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:08,882 Maybe you should focus on more than one job listing. 904 00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:10,769 I'm so perfect for this job! 905 00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:12,922 I just have to get myself in front of the guy 906 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,924 who can actually pull the trigger and hire me! 907 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,162 It is ABC time! 908 00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,927 One way or another, I've got to get to the decision maker. 909 00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,128 - Yes. - Whoa! 910 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:30,047 James Gentry, prepare to meet Roger Davis. 911 00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:36,360 Yo. 912 00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,046 Hey, man. Listen to my dad's latest tweet. 913 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:40,326 "It ends today. 914 00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:43,609 "ABC, equal sign, Annihilation Brings Closure. 915 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,802 "Roger Davis, symbol for greater than James Gentry." 916 00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:47,086 What the hell does that mean? 917 00:54:47,240 --> 00:54:49,129 I don't know, man, but it sounds ominous. 918 00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:50,725 Yeah, it definitely doesn't sound good. 919 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,401 Yeah, this is bad. Look, Luke, we gotta go find my dad. 920 00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:55,840 All right, here I come. 921 00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,210 Yeah, it's Fifth and Spring, right off the 101, big gray building. 922 00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:09,606 Excuse me, sir. 923 00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,046 Check in with the front desk, please. 924 00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:12,730 Oh, right, right. 925 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:17,609 All right. I'll take care of that this afternoon. 926 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:20,411 All right. All right, bye-bye. 927 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:22,925 Good afternoon. 928 00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:27,881 Roger Davis here to see James Gentry. 929 00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:29,405 You could sign in. 930 00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,690 Sir? 931 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,921 I'm going to need you to exit the building. 932 00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,365 Okay. 933 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,521 Or... how about this? 934 00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:56,284 How about I'm not going anywhere until after I see the decision maker. 935 00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:08,201 Katherine? 936 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,009 - Mr. Wilheimer. - Yeah. 937 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,322 Look, family emergency. I need to leave early. 938 00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:14,925 We're starting the Fredericks meeting. 939 00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,764 Okay. Well, how important is it that I'm there? 940 00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:18,763 How important is keeping your job? 941 00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,362 Katherine, I'm sorry. My dad needs me. 942 00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:25,483 Nearest exit, everybody! 943 00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:32,881 Go, mi amigo. 944 00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,407 Wait, did you pull that for me? 945 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,244 Go to tu papa. 946 00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,440 - Hurry up! - He's at Millennium Plaza. 947 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:54,126 How do you know? 948 00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:57,242 iStalkU, motherfucker! 949 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:10,204 You can't wait here, sir. Why don't you find a Starbucks? 950 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:12,801 Why don't you find a suck-my-cock-bucks? 951 00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:18,122 Sorry. That was uncalled for. 952 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,490 Where are we going? 953 00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:22,688 It's saying he's, like, around... 954 00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:27,371 I shouldn't have said what I said. 955 00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,171 But I'd like to let you know that if you call Pearl, 956 00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:32,641 Pearl knows me and you just tell her... 957 00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:35,002 Hey, hey! That's my dad. 958 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,049 - Will? - Whatever he did, if you just let him go, 959 00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,567 I promise I'll get him home safely. 960 00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,451 Look, please, sir. Don't embarrass him anymore. 961 00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:44,526 Please. 962 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,725 Go on, Mr. Davis. 963 00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:53,086 Thank you. 964 00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,210 Wait a minute. That's... That's Gentry. 965 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,807 That's him. That's the decision maker. 966 00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:38,846 Dad! 967 00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:46,161 Go! 968 00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,488 I was captain of my Ultimate Frisbee team. 969 00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:54,880 Shut up! 970 00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,361 Hold it. Hold it! 971 00:58:57,520 --> 00:58:59,568 Hold it, hold it. Thank you. 972 00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:01,649 No! Oh! 973 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,131 Hold it, hold on! 974 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,209 Mr. Gentry, my name is Roger Davis. 975 00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,049 Stay away from me. I'll call security. 976 00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:17,844 They know I'm here. 977 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,890 Now, sir. I know you must think that I'm psychotic. 978 00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:23,247 I'm not psychotic. I'm not. 979 00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:26,131 I'm just a man driven to desperation 980 00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:30,330 by months and months of rejection and indifference. 981 00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:32,685 I'm a human being, 982 00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:35,326 asking for an opportunity to tell you face to face 983 00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:39,565 why I think I would be great for your company. 984 00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:45,570 This is my resume. My son made this. 985 00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,522 Why me? 986 00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:54,282 Because you, sir, are the decision maker. 987 01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:07,363 What happened? 988 01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:10,484 I got an interview. 989 01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:13,140 Yeah! 990 01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:14,890 - Nice! - All right! 991 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:19,883 - Yes! - There we go. 992 01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:49,124 There can be only one. 993 01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:51,442 - Hey. - Hey. 994 01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,244 Katherine wants to see you in her office. 995 01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:58,726 Fuck. 996 01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:03,290 Goodbye head? 997 01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,603 What? No. What is wrong with you? 998 01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,123 I'm really bored. 999 01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:25,562 Isn't it a glorious day? 1000 01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:28,251 What's glorious about it? 1001 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,971 I've rid this company of the dead wood. 1002 01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:32,610 We are leaner and meaner. 1003 01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:37,601 This is a contract. 1004 01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:40,605 It's a what? 1005 01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,001 You're now Vice President of Corporate Communications. 1006 01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:48,245 Your salary is $52,000. 1007 01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:51,246 52,000? 1008 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:55,086 You'll be doing the work of three people. Get used to eating dinner at your desk. 1009 01:02:57,320 --> 01:03:00,927 Now that I've turned you around, it was easier to kick you upstairs 1010 01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,128 than to train someone new. 1011 01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,851 Just don't forget who did the kicking. 1012 01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,049 - Yeah. - Come here. 1013 01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:18,644 I own you, Mr. Davis. 1014 01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:27,923 Get to work, VP. 1015 01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:53,445 Yes! 1016 01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,051 Why are you massaging my girlfriend? 1017 01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:02,009 Don't break her concentration. 1018 01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:04,128 She's about to get to the Living Legend achievement. 1019 01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:06,044 This is fucking crazy, man! She's on a killing spree. 1020 01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:07,201 Killing frenzy. 1021 01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:10,483 - Your girlfriend is a fucking prodigy, bro. - Bong me. 1022 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:13,968 You light it. Light it for her. 1023 01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:16,561 "Bong me"? Hey, what's up with you, man? 1024 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:19,371 I lost a half a million dollars today. 1025 01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:24,649 I am fucked. I let everybody down, dude. 1026 01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:27,041 I let Tyler Perry down. 1027 01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:29,089 Oprah, Barack Obama... 1028 01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:31,368 I let Barack Obama down. I am fucked, man. 1029 01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:34,205 - Stay with it. - I'm on it. 1030 01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:36,124 You guys don't understand, man. 1031 01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:39,727 You guys don't understand. I drank deer cum! 1032 01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:41,848 - Move! - Oh, God. Shit! 1033 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:43,604 Hey, Jillian, can I talk to you for a second? 1034 01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:45,808 - Boo! - No. 1035 01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:47,405 Okay. All right. 1036 01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:50,563 Game over, bitches! 1037 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,210 What are you doing? You can't do that. 1038 01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:53,340 You can't pull the cord out. Why are you doing that? 1039 01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:55,681 - Boo! - Don't boo me. 1040 01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:57,808 You don't... Don't boo. Stop booing me! 1041 01:04:57,960 --> 01:04:59,849 I'm surprised at you, Will. 1042 01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:03,600 Dude, get out of here. 1043 01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,529 Sudden trauma can hurt the LED. 1044 01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:10,447 Wait, come here. Save me, save me, save me! I don't... 1045 01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:13,447 - Bong me. - Bong coming in. 1046 01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:16,331 All right, Jillian. I need you to step up. 1047 01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:19,810 Oh, my God. 1048 01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,249 Bring home the bacon, baby. 1049 01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:36,926 Oh, fuck. Let's eat some bacon right now. 1050 01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:50,685 Mr. Diller? 1051 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,810 I just want to say I'm sorry I screwed up. 1052 01:05:55,960 --> 01:05:59,681 And thank you for the opportunity and... 1053 01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:04,809 I'm sorry I let you down. 1054 01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,082 Where in the fuck do you think you're going? 1055 01:06:13,360 --> 01:06:15,601 Sit the fuck down. 1056 01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:20,244 What kind of fucking pussy generation do you come from, anyway? 1057 01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:23,044 You never apologize. 1058 01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,726 Never, ever. You burn the fucking house down, 1059 01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:28,008 you roll up your fucking sleeves and you build another one. 1060 01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:30,401 Now, get the fuck back out there and make the money back. 1061 01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:32,688 You got it? 1062 01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:34,245 Go. 1063 01:06:38,720 --> 01:06:42,167 Yo, this will never happen again. 1064 01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:43,401 Thank you so much. 1065 01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:48,531 Goddamn it. 1066 01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:51,490 Send the fucking custodian in. 1067 01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:14,567 Bring it in. Okay, circle up. 1068 01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:18,727 All right. Now, I know we haven't won a game yet, 1069 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,690 but we have been losing by less and less. 1070 01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:24,889 And I know for a fact that their two best players have head lice. 1071 01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:28,487 I'm saying we have a chance today. 1072 01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:31,169 A chance for victory. 1073 01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:33,725 A chance for redemption. 1074 01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:37,965 Hands in. 1075 01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:40,009 Victory on three. 1076 01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:43,409 One, two, three. Victory! 1077 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:51,000 Great season! You guys played your hearts out. 1078 01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:52,924 You did it. 1079 01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:58,364 Everybody is a winner. 1080 01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:02,010 We are so proud of you. 1081 01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:04,083 Next year, no scoreboard, right? 1082 01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:06,163 All right. Here you go, honey. 1083 01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:08,084 No, no, no. No trophies! 1084 01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:10,651 No trophies this year. 1085 01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:12,290 We always get trophies. 1086 01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:15,051 Trophies don't mean anything unless you earn them. 1087 01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:16,929 They're just plastic junk. 1088 01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,125 Look. 1089 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,371 No! 1090 01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:26,411 My childhood bedroom is filled to the brim with trophies, 1091 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:28,927 and I haven't won a thing in my life. 1092 01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:31,327 You would have to be born already in a coma 1093 01:08:31,480 --> 01:08:33,369 to do as little with your life as I have. 1094 01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:35,921 - Excuse me. - Stop it, stop! Listen to me. 1095 01:08:36,080 --> 01:08:37,241 Listen, guys. 1096 01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:39,081 Listen to me. 1097 01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:43,849 Now, I've spent the last five years of my life 1098 01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:46,890 practically living on a cum-stained couch. 1099 01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:51,683 I smoke $200 of weed a week. 1100 01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,082 I've been wearing the same pair of socks for so long 1101 01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:58,720 that the fabric of the sock has literally become one 1102 01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:00,609 with the skin of my little toe. 1103 01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,001 And why? Why? 1104 01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:06,605 Because when I was growing up, 1105 01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:09,445 they gave me trophies for losing. 1106 01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:11,090 Do you understand what I'm saying? 1107 01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:14,642 No trophy, Sam. 1108 01:09:18,200 --> 01:09:20,009 Kwan, no trophies! 1109 01:09:20,640 --> 01:09:23,484 No trophies! 1110 01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:42,760 Thanks, Charlie. 1111 01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:47,281 Don't call me Charlie. 1112 01:09:47,440 --> 01:09:49,090 Call me Coach. 1113 01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:05,528 - This place is foul. - I know. 1114 01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:09,041 - There's porn everywhere. - I know. 1115 01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:14,281 Look, this is just temporary. 1116 01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,209 I got a good steady job now. 1117 01:10:17,520 --> 01:10:19,170 I mean, I don't want to jinx it, 1118 01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,523 but they're talking about Employee of the Month. 1119 01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:25,445 I don't think that's a thing that people do anymore. 1120 01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:27,887 It is. And I'm gonna get it. 1121 01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:29,121 For us. 1122 01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:36,684 What I'm saying is, it's gonna be okay. 1123 01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:57,085 Oh, Will... 1124 01:10:57,240 --> 01:10:58,571 Is this your girlfriend? 1125 01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,485 Jillian, this is Katherine Dunn. 1126 01:11:01,640 --> 01:11:03,563 - Hello. - Hi, Jillian. 1127 01:11:03,720 --> 01:11:08,362 I think that Jillian should be thanking me, don't you? 1128 01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:10,249 - Thanking you for what? - For what? 1129 01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,368 For what? 1130 01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:18,163 For turning you into the responsible little worker bee that you are. 1131 01:11:20,120 --> 01:11:22,691 - It was very nice to meet you. - You, too. 1132 01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:24,291 Enjoy the party, dears. 1133 01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:30,482 - Wow. - I know. 1134 01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:33,286 But she's making me Vice President. 1135 01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:40,049 All signed. Just got to turn it in. 1136 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:48,043 Where did you find that? 1137 01:11:48,240 --> 01:11:51,528 I called Lon Zimmet. 1138 01:11:53,160 --> 01:11:54,650 He went on and on about you, 1139 01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:57,167 and used the word "cock" like, 1,000 times. 1140 01:11:57,320 --> 01:11:58,970 Yeah, he does that. 1141 01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:04,289 I need to say something. 1142 01:12:04,440 --> 01:12:06,204 What? 1143 01:12:09,920 --> 01:12:11,809 I'm 22 years old and I have no idea 1144 01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:14,042 what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life. 1145 01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:18,009 And I'm fine with that. I have a lot to offer the world, 1146 01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:21,209 and this is just the beginning, and if you want to take a job 1147 01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:23,601 with some shady start-up company that has nothing to offer you 1148 01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:26,445 but stock options and a dream, then you should do that! 1149 01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:29,968 Yeah, you know, maybe we're not all geniuses. 1150 01:12:30,120 --> 01:12:32,248 So we're not the greatest generation, so what? 1151 01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:35,324 These are our lives, and we're gonna make the most of 'em! 1152 01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:42,089 I love you, Jillian. 1153 01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:49,840 Come on, come on. Don't be shy. 1154 01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,642 Hey, Katherine, can I talk to you for a second? 1155 01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:04,847 Sure. 1156 01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:07,526 So, I wanted to thank you for this opportunity. 1157 01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:11,048 - Oh, pleasure. - But yeah, the job, it's not really for me. 1158 01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:16,207 - You're joking. - No. I quit. 1159 01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:19,241 Wow. 1160 01:13:20,560 --> 01:13:21,800 Cocky little shit. 1161 01:13:22,720 --> 01:13:25,803 What, are you gonna go play house with that ugly little girlfriend of yours? 1162 01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,206 - Maybe I will. - Maybe you will. 1163 01:13:27,360 --> 01:13:30,682 But let me tell you something. You won't, because you won't have a job. 1164 01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:34,566 So I want you to be prepared for what it feels like to be on the unemployment line. 1165 01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:38,526 Because as of this moment forward, I'm going to do everything in my power 1166 01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,300 to ensure that you never work in this town again. 1167 01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,721 Hey, put that in your Facebook. 1168 01:14:15,120 --> 01:14:17,300 - Should I put my showcase here? - Yeah, would you? 1169 01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:19,687 I found this working late one night, 1170 01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:23,049 and I thought it was a good opportunity to express myself. 1171 01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:31,640 Merry Christmas. 1172 01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:35,764 Take that minotaur cock. 1173 01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:54,767 Is it tough out there? No doubt. 1174 01:14:56,640 --> 01:14:59,564 But we all need a job. So, what do you do? 1175 01:15:00,240 --> 01:15:01,810 Chug, chug, chug! 1176 01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,281 Find the thing that you were meant to do. 1177 01:15:06,320 --> 01:15:08,049 Work your ass off to get it. 1178 01:15:11,360 --> 01:15:13,010 Never stop believing. 1179 01:15:14,360 --> 01:15:16,169 Never quit. 1180 01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,561 Hello. Skeezy D blowin' up the Internet. 1181 01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:44,162 Everybody rollin' up to me like, "How can I roll Skeezy-style?" 1182 01:15:45,640 --> 01:15:47,005 Well, look. 1183 01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:51,849 Sweat. 1184 01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:53,843 Get your fuck on. 1185 01:15:54,720 --> 01:15:56,529 It's a dick! 1186 01:15:57,880 --> 01:16:00,281 Fucking great! 1187 01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:05,563 Will, I'd like to officially welcome you to the Sweat team. 1188 01:16:05,720 --> 01:16:08,007 Thanks, Lon. 1189 01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:09,889 But I'm gonna have to turn down your offer. 1190 01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:13,004 - What? - I've started my own production company, 1191 01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:16,164 but I would be honored to have Sweat as my first client. 1192 01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:20,767 Yeah. 1193 01:16:25,880 --> 01:16:28,963 In other words, don't just feel special. 1194 01:16:30,480 --> 01:16:31,720 Be special. 1195 01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:42,209 Do you love your wife? Of course you do. 1196 01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:44,124 But when she tells you she's going shopping, 1197 01:16:44,280 --> 01:16:47,921 how do you know she's not actually going to a sordid motel like this one? 1198 01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:49,451 - Hello, lover. - Hello. 1199 01:16:56,920 --> 01:16:58,968 Your husband says he's working late. 1200 01:16:59,120 --> 01:17:01,487 Well, what kind of work are we really talking about? 1201 01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:06,320 Hey, Jezebel, sin. 1202 01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:16,609 Come and join the more than 150,000 satisfied customers 1203 01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:19,411 who have all used iStalkU. 1204 01:17:19,560 --> 01:17:21,324 Let your loved ones know you care 1205 01:17:21,480 --> 01:17:23,881 by never letting them out of your virtual sight. 1206 01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:33,364 And cut! 1207 01:17:55,520 --> 01:17:56,646 - We got it. - All right!