1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,041 Find a good hiding place. 3 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,072 Good job, boys. 4 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,367 Eye contact is very important when trying to seduce your partner. 5 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,537 It's the most overlooked step by virgins, so remember this for your first time. 6 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,663 Yeah, yeah, we get it. 7 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,333 Look at them before you fuck their brains out. 8 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,542 Now, can we move on to the sex positions? 9 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,963 'Cause that's what I paid $80 for. 10 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,715 Actually, that's what I paid $80 for. 11 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,672 Yeah, don't worry, Jack. I'll pay you back, I'll pay you back. 12 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,132 You boys can figure this out later. 13 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,180 Right now, I want you to pretend that Bailey is a girl from class 14 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,598 that you brought home to your room. 15 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,391 Show me how you would seduce her. 16 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,269 Jack, you go first. 17 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,907 Hey. Hey there, Bailey. 18 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,068 Um, how was school for you today? 19 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,488 For me, it was okay. 20 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:56,496 I had a stomach ache, though. 21 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,540 But the nurse just said I ate too much. 22 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,041 What are you doing? 23 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,589 Take off your shirt already. 24 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,334 Come on. 25 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,592 Yeah. Yeah. 26 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,175 Sorry my chest is so smooth. 27 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,429 I can't grow any chest hair. 28 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,605 She's losing interest and is about to call for a ride home. 29 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,690 What are you gonna do to make her stay? 30 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,527 Come on, you've got this, you've got this. 31 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,444 Oh, my fucking God. 32 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,696 Okay, Jack, that's enough. 33 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,158 Not one girl is gonna wanna sleep with you with that lack of confidence. 34 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,743 You need to work on that. Duncan, your turn. 35 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,996 - Good luck. - I don't need luck. 36 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,505 Scarlett, play some music. 37 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,757 That's a nice touch. 38 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,313 Hey, little sexy. 39 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,057 Whoo! 40 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,771 Yeah, yeah, you like what you see? 41 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:08,855 Do you like that? 42 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,156 Whoo! 43 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,571 Wait, why were you wearing those? 44 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,325 Wow. 45 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,371 "Oh, my God, it's so big." 46 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,294 I know. 47 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,422 You ever been fucked by a British boy before? 48 00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,929 Huh? Huh? Yeah! 49 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,925 Yeah! 50 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,678 Uh, Duncan, that's a little aggressive. 51 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,476 Not all the girls get into it that quickly. 52 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,720 Scarlett, look at me! 53 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,521 I am the captain now. 54 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,144 Jack, get over here! 55 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,397 Show Bailey a good time. 56 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,406 Oh! 57 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,988 Wait. Don't you think this is a little weird? 58 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,242 Jack, we're best friends, nothing is weird. 59 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,868 Okay, my time's up here, boys. Sorry. 60 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,955 Oh! Oh, God, I'm getting close. 61 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,628 What? 62 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:09,592 Happy last day in America. 63 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,211 Ah! 64 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,263 Did you just come? 65 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:22,433 Good morning, Glenbrook High School! 66 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,770 Well, I hope everyone's excited for summer break. 67 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,518 I know I sure am. 68 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,104 Okay, make sure everyone returns their books to the library... 69 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,277 Hey, guys, so this is the ghost chili challenge. 70 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,285 Now, see, I put it... 71 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,574 Oh, no! Oh, no! 72 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,032 Your new video is terrible. 73 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,954 It only takes one video to go viral. 74 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,035 - Fuck! - Oh. 75 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,463 And here to read this year's final morning announcements 76 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:52,551 is the captain of the football team, Tucker Jones. 77 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,548 Yo, yo, yo. What's goin' on, everyone? 78 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,091 Tucker Jones on the mike. 79 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,141 Today's lunch is meatloaf with mashed potatoes, 80 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,681 and if you're a vegan for whatever stupid reason, it's salad. 81 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,685 Also, I just wanna address the rumor that's been going on about me. 82 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,858 Yes, I did hook up with Jaclyn Wasinowski, 83 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:13,400 and, yes, she does have herpes, but I did not contract it. 84 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,318 - Tucker! - Marsha, I'm okay, all right? Relax. 85 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,399 Just stick to the paper. 86 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,826 Marsha, calm your tits. 87 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,408 Also, I just wanna remind everyone that tonight, 88 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,952 I am having the sickest end-of-the-year party 89 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,246 celebrating my cat, Mr. Pickles, 90 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,956 hitting 10 million subscribers on YouTube. 91 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,918 Yeah. All girls welcome, guys gotta be on my VIP list. 92 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,004 Okay, thank you, Tucker. 93 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,384 And that's how it's done, bitches. 94 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,805 Pussy-ass dick holes. 95 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,353 Did you get invited to his party? 96 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,472 - No, did you? - No. 97 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:50,150 Have a great summer, and well see y'all next fall. 98 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,024 Principal Raheem will see you boys now. 99 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,285 Sorry. Mrs. Cole said to come in. 100 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:05,994 Have a seat, boys. 101 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,042 I'm trying to finish something here. 102 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,387 Who the fuck told me this was easy? 103 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:24,805 Uh, Principal Raheem, what are you doing? 104 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,517 I'm playing a virtual reality game. 105 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,601 It's called Shit Swipe. It's very addicting. 106 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,397 You have to grab these little turds 107 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:38,902 and move them around so they match, and it's really fucking difficult. 108 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:44,701 No. No, no. What's happening? Move. 109 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,333 It's frozen! 110 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,539 Fuck! 111 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,963 Stupid shit of a game! 112 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:57,126 Fucking stupid shit of a fucking game. 113 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:04,433 So, I hope you guys enjoyed your stay in the States. 114 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,347 Did you get a chance to do some fun things? 115 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,891 Like going to Disneyland? 116 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,851 Yeah, we went. 117 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,644 Um, it was great. 118 00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:13,725 A lot of kids, though. 119 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,477 And fat people. 120 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,562 Well, this is America, you know. 121 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,072 Did you go to any baseball games? 122 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,276 I didn't really know what was going on. 123 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,111 So I just cheered when everyone else cheered. 124 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,074 So many fat people. 125 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:29,658 Yeah, but what about the ladies? 126 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,046 Did you get a chance to experience any American girls? 127 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,629 No girls? Not even fat girls? 128 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,258 Nope. 129 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,385 I haven't had sex with one girl since I've been here, 130 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,095 and I just know all my friends are gonna just call me a "wankstain virgin" 131 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,269 when I get back. 132 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,982 You're a virgin, too, aren't you, Jack? 133 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,103 I don't think we need to talk about that. 134 00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,691 So you're telling me that 135 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:03,366 we have two foreign boys who are both virgins? 136 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,121 Oh, I shouldn't laugh because, 137 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,829 you know, it wasn't easy for me either with the girls. 138 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,419 When I came from India, I would only find work 139 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,877 as a street performer on Hollywood Boulevard. 140 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:26,306 I would play Wolverine, Michael Jackson, Frog Boy. 141 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:30,845 You know, anything to make a few bucks until I got my big break 142 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,188 and I became a high school principal. 143 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,645 Then, poof, all hell broke loose. 144 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,813 I couldn't keep the girls away, like flies. 145 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,315 I said, "Back off, bitches. 146 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,693 "Where were you when I was Michael Jackson?" 147 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,650 Wait, how did anyone think you were Michael Jackson? 148 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,826 And what's Frog Boy? 149 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,579 Wouldn't you like to know. 150 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,541 What I'm trying to say is that if you can't get laid in America, 151 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,544 you can't get laid anywhere. 152 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:02,877 And if you're lucky like me, you can go home to this every night. 153 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,505 Pretty sexy, eh? 154 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:07,968 I am watching you. 155 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,345 Don't get any ideas. 156 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,849 Shalonda is all mine. 157 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,224 And she is very good with her hands. 158 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,857 Anyway, enough of the cock teasing. Here we go. 159 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,277 Here are your foreign exchange certificates, 160 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,530 and good luck to you, boys. 161 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,704 I hope I have been an inspiration. 162 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,072 Thank you. 163 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,448 Okay. 164 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,543 I hope you're de-virginized when I see you next. 165 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,709 Send me a card. 166 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,379 Marsha, get that troublemaker Billy Franco 167 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,506 to come and take back his Shit Swipe game. 168 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,678 It's fuckin' broken. 169 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:52,345 Dude, I gotta get laid tonight, just, somehow. 170 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,553 Good luck. Hiring a prostitute doesn't count. 171 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,475 I'm not going to hire a prostitute, but you know what? 172 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,398 I'm not gonna rule anything out. 173 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,494 Jack? 174 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,246 Hey, Jack. 175 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,544 Hey. Hey, Kaylee. 176 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,213 Thank you so much for letting me cheat off your test yesterday. 177 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,887 - I got a B. - That's great. 178 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,015 Okay, well, see you, bro. 179 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,063 Uh, what are your plans for tonight? 180 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,646 Um, tonight's my last night in the States. 181 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,067 What? Oh, my God. 182 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,151 I can't believe it's your last night and we never got to hang out. 183 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,785 I didn't think you knew I existed. 184 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,829 Yeah, you're that cute British kid. 185 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,075 I'm South African, but I could be British. 186 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,540 Well, Mr. South Africa, 187 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,497 are you going to Tucker's party tonight? 188 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,586 I want to go. 189 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,044 Oh, my God. You have to go. 190 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,755 We have to make your last night here a night to remember. 191 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,298 What? 192 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,300 Let me see your phone. 193 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,899 Okay, there's my number. 194 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,269 Text me so we can meet up tonight? 195 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,353 - Maybe we can even... - Have sex. 196 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,442 I mean, that's what I plan on doing tonight. 197 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,900 Get off me, and I hope you're talking about someone else, 198 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,404 because we broke up, remember? 199 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,111 Whatever, you'll come back. 200 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,664 - They always come back. - Definitely not. 201 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,247 You look like you're 12 years old, you know that? 202 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,456 - Okay. - Why don't you lift something, bro? 203 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,333 Your arms look like ramen noodles. I could slurp you. 204 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,001 Tucker, stop. 205 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,173 You wanna go, bro? 206 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,549 Saved by the bell. 207 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,881 Little bitch. 208 00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,727 Hey, would you at least walk me to class, just one more time, please? 209 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,472 Come on. 210 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,019 Okay, fine. But don't put your arm around me. 211 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,442 I wasn't going to. Don't yell at me. 212 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,733 - See you tonight, Jack. - I'll put it in my schedule. 213 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,318 Fuck you, Jack. 214 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,784 My sweet, sweet Kaylee. 215 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,244 What? 216 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,534 Nothing. 217 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,292 # Just leave me alone 218 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,583 # Meow 219 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,757 # In the dark, I wanna cringe 220 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,671 # I miss you so much 221 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,222 # In the dark, I wanna # 222 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,139 Oh... 223 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,440 Fuck. 224 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,736 That song was dedicated to my cat, Sprinkles. 225 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,571 She was my best friend. 226 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,657 Okay, let's hear what you're passionate about 227 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,151 with your final performance. 228 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,242 Duncan, you're up first. 229 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,917 Go get 'em. 230 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,336 Um, my final song is called, 231 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,756 Fuck What My Friends Say, I'm Good at FIFA. 232 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,304 # It's FIFA time So I'ma make you all my bitch 233 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,853 # So shut the fuck up Or I'll put you in a ditch 234 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,438 # I play online, I win online That's how I roll 235 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,772 # 'Cause I never lose a game You think I suck? Hell, no 236 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:38,152 # I got a big dick I know you're fucking jealous 237 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,496 # I'm a FIFA don, like in Goodfellas 238 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:42,989 # Haters getting mad 239 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,824 # But I'm the one with lows 240 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,452 # So if you're hating You can go and suck my balls # 241 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,536 Stop. 242 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,374 Duncan, I really want you to hit that note right there. 243 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,421 You're at the climax of the chorus and everyone needs to feel that passion. 244 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,878 So do it again. 245 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,006 At the balls? 246 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,506 The balls. 247 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,310 # To all my haters You can go and suck my balls 248 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,515 # Suck my balls 249 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,596 Like that. 250 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,057 - You want me to sing it? - Yes. 251 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,312 # Suck my balls 252 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,605 # Suck my balls, suck my balls 253 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,570 # Suck my balls # 254 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,405 You did it. 255 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:22,991 Bring it in, homie. 256 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,867 Oh, it's beautiful. 257 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,664 Everyone, give it up for Duncan. 258 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,247 A plus, plus, plus. Whoo! 259 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,415 And that, everyone, is how 260 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:38,006 you take direction and turn it into perfection. 261 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,634 Now, another song about one of my other cats, Chip. 262 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,093 Yo, your pitch was a little off, but the song was pretty sick, I guess. 263 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,479 - Thanks, man. - Shut up. 264 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:51,941 Duncan. 265 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,379 Hey, Tucker. 266 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,799 Can Jack and I come to your party tonight? 267 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,968 No, fuck no, all right? 268 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,553 My place is gonna be crawling with hotties. 269 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,934 I don't need two foreign losers coming and killing the vibe. 270 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,102 So shut up and turn around. 271 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,114 Duncan. 272 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,576 Hey, Tucker? 273 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:53,953 What? 274 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,796 It's our last night, man. 275 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,253 And it would really mean a lot. 276 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:02,428 Besides, I'm really trying to get laid. 277 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,719 All right, look, the only way you guys are getting into my party 278 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,301 is if you bring two girls with you. 279 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:09,927 Okay. 280 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,475 Hot girls. 281 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,101 Okay. 282 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,808 And not from this school, all right? 283 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,434 I wanna meet some new baes. 284 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,398 Okay. 285 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,443 Make sure they're hot or you're not getting in. 286 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,781 They're gonna be so fucking hot. 287 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,741 Why would you promise Tucker we could bring two hot girls? 288 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,950 Because that's the only way we're getting into his party tonight. 289 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:35,248 But we don't know any girls, especially hot ones. 290 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,080 Yo, I just got you past the VIP list 291 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,541 so you can see Kaylee tonight, all right? 292 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,422 The least you can say is, "Thank you." 293 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,965 But if I arrive at the party with another girl, 294 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,967 there's no way Kaylee's gonna talk to me. 295 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,135 Listen to me, okay? 296 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,804 If you want to have any chance of seeing your lover tonight 297 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:50,976 and getting laid, 298 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,723 then you need to help me find hot girls for this party. 299 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,479 Then, once we're inside, you can go and see Kaylee. 300 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,604 Come on, bro, do you want to remember this 301 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,277 as the night that you went to bed at 9:00 p.m. 302 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,406 or the night that you went after Kaylee? 303 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,533 Fine. I'm in. 304 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,740 Yes, my nigga. 305 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:21,546 Beth, your parents found this disturbing drawing in your room, 306 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,418 and it concerns me. 307 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,718 Do you want to explain this? 308 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,924 That's me burning my entire house 309 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,848 with everything inside it, including my parents. 310 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,801 That's what we're talking about. 311 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,973 My wife gave birth to a little demon. 312 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,766 Oh, now this is my fault? 313 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,066 Let's just try to focus on the positives. 314 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,479 As horrific as this image is, 315 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,690 your daughter is a pretty talented artist, 316 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,901 and you should encourage her to explore her abilities. 317 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,027 She drew a picture of herself murdering us. 318 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,580 Maybe you should've gotten me that iPad for my birthday. 319 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:56,918 Uh, Beth, blackmailing your parents with death threats is not appropriate. 320 00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,920 Ugh, nobody gets me! 321 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,376 Why do you have to talk to her like that? 322 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,465 I enjoy it. 323 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,509 Boys. 324 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,091 How does it feel to be done with high school? 325 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,423 It pretty much feels the same. 326 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:14,264 Lisa and I would like to take you to Chef Nelson's Crab Shack tonight for dinner. 327 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,137 Well, and Beth, too. 328 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,643 - Yeah, you shouldn't leave her alone. - What? 329 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,816 - Uh... - We... 330 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,694 We kinda have a party tonight. 331 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,316 Oh, my God. 332 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:27,649 Did you get invited to Tucker's YouTube party? 333 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,738 Yeah. 334 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,244 Wait, how do you know about that? 335 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,405 Oh, yeah, well, you know, me and some of the moms, 336 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,327 we have a FaceChat group at the school 337 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,909 where we get together and chat and gossip. 338 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,958 So, Jack, there's a rumor going around that you have a thing for that Kaylee girl? 339 00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,710 Wait. People know I like her? 340 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,380 Oh, my God, yes. We talk about it all the time. 341 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,337 Ben's mom, Jill's mom, they're kind of obsessed with you. 342 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,591 You're, like, their favorite couple. 343 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,139 We're, like, rooting for you. 344 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,095 Actually, it is pretty obvious, dude. 345 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,388 Yeah. 346 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,311 Well, you can go to dinner tonight before, right? 347 00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,930 Come on, it's Chef Nelson's. 348 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,811 Best octopus and eight-course meals. 349 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,896 Oh, my God, honey, they don't wanna eat your stupid octopus. 350 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,149 They've got a huge party tonight to get ready for. 351 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,652 Tonight's kind of a big night for you guys, huh? 352 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,534 All right, go do your thing. 353 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,614 - All right. - Thank you. 354 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,948 But you know what? You have early flights in the morning, so don't stay out too late. 355 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,203 We won't. 356 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,167 Those are some good boys. 357 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,665 They're just the best. 358 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,631 All my friends fucked girls when they studied here, 359 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,500 I'm gonna be the pussy of the group. 360 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:31,383 Oh, man. We gotta find some girls, man. 361 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,759 Why don't you ask Tabitha to come to the party? 362 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,056 She totally wants your willy. 363 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,597 Tabitha is a complete BLOB. 364 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,185 What's a BLOB? 365 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,805 You know the girl that you'd never have sex with, 366 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,602 but when the night is coming to an end 367 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,686 and you run out of options, you start to consider her, 368 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:50,236 and God, pretty much it's a... Basic Last Option Bae. BLOB. 369 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,320 You've never had sex. 370 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,868 Yeah, but I've thought about it, 371 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:57,158 and, oh, no, no, she's definitely a BLOB. 372 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,491 Kaylee gave me her number today. 373 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,411 How long do you think I should wait before I text her? 374 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:04,875 I don't know, three hours? 375 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,965 Too late, I already sent it. 376 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:12,173 Well, let's pretend Kaylee doesn't exist for two seconds. 377 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,506 Where would you go to find hot girls? 378 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,801 I told you, why don't you bring the BLOB and one of her friends? 379 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,972 But Tucker said they can't be from our school, remember? 380 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,180 How are we supposed to do that? 381 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,567 It's your brother. 382 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,361 - What's up, nigga? - Freddie, my nigga. 383 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,990 - Will you look at this nigga? - What the fuck are you doing? 384 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,698 Whoa! You can't say that, bro. 385 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,326 I'm really sorry about that. That came out racist. 386 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,750 - I'm not racist. - Jesus fucking Christ. 387 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:43,868 I have black friends. 388 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,921 I'm picking you up from the airport tomorrow 'cause Mom and Dad are busy. 389 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,669 All right, that's great, but something more important has come up. 390 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,713 Pretty much, we need to find hot girls for this party tonight. 391 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:53,760 Got any ideas? 392 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,717 Looks like the virgin needs help from his younger brother. 393 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,177 You wish I was a virgin, 394 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,976 'cause then I'd fuck you and lose my virginity, bitch. 395 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,056 What? 396 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,724 I'm two years younger than you 397 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,556 and I've already had sex with three girls. 398 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,186 Where did you meet these girls? 399 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,486 I used this new blind dating app called Blindr. 400 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:11,857 A blind dating app? 401 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,939 That just sounds stupid, Freddie. 402 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,816 Check it out. I just sent you a link. 403 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,492 Having trouble meeting girls? 404 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:25,452 Do you do better with girls when they don't know what you look like? 405 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:28,079 Then Blindr is just what you need. 406 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:29,375 It's so simple. 407 00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,544 Just enter your information into your profile 408 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,212 and start blinding away. 409 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,965 - With its new patented... - Pretty sick, right? 410 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:36,587 Shut up, Freddie! I can't hear. 411 00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,465 Here's what a real-life couple has to say about Blindr. 412 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,429 Before, girls wouldn't even look at me. 413 00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:42,476 But now, with Blindr, 414 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,224 I let my personality shine through and I found my soulmate. 415 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,305 It's true. 416 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:49,770 I wouldn't have even talked to a guy like Lance several months ago. 417 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:50,938 I mean, look at him. 418 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,899 But thanks to Blindr, I've been seduced by his mind. 419 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,151 Thanks, Blindr. 420 00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,111 We can do this. 421 00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:59,444 You can even use our double date option 422 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,325 to score a double blind date. 423 00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:02,446 Yes. 424 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,908 Download the app for free and get blinding. 425 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:08,335 Because you know what they say, true love is blind. 426 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,546 - Sorry, Freddie, gotta go. - Uh... 427 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:13,040 This is perfect. Let's do it. 428 00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:15,339 I'm not into meeting people online. That's creepy. 429 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:18,471 Come on, man, that's how everyone meets people nowadays. 430 00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:21,135 Besides, we're not actually dating these girls. 431 00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,013 We're just gonna take them to the party with us, 432 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,100 and then we're in. 433 00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,353 Come on, Jack. 434 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,810 If you're not feeling it once we get there, 435 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:32,894 then we can easily just leave. 436 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,197 It's Kaylee. 437 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,903 "Hey, Jack, what time are you going to the party tonight?" 438 00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,155 Why don't you tell her, "Sorry, I can't make it tonight 439 00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:42,452 "because I'm too much of a pussy 440 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,664 "to go meet some girls on a blind dating app." 441 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,960 - Let's do it. - Yes! Yes! 442 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,041 Downloading now. 443 00:22:57,501 --> 00:22:58,548 Okay. 444 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:01,923 Yeah, it takes a while. 445 00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:05,009 Okay, we're in. 446 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:08,096 All right, double date and name. 447 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:11,143 Duncan and Jack. 448 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,396 No, we can't use our real names. 449 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:15,440 Why not? We're leaving the country tomorrow. 450 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,196 People can stalk you. 451 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,237 Okay, fine, I'm keeping my name. 452 00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,864 What do you want your name to be? 453 00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:25,154 Thor. 454 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,706 I've always wanted lo be called Thor. 455 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,164 Thor is a pretty fucking cool name. 456 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,420 All right, I am changing mine as well. 457 00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:34,959 I told you. 458 00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:36,415 Petrie. 459 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:40,506 - Petrie? - Petrie and Thor it is. 460 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:43,430 - Nice. - Okay, income. 461 00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,390 What's the highest you can put? 462 00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:46,508 Uh... 463 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:50,182 - Over $500,000 a year. - Put that. 464 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:53,102 The more money we appear to have, the hotter girls we'll get. 465 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,526 Jack, this is why I love you. 466 00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,482 Oh, my God. 467 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,566 Thor and Petrie, high rollers. 468 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,360 There is no way we're not gonna land 469 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,783 the hottest girls on Blindr with this description. 470 00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:09,490 It's... It's foolproof. 471 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,451 Let's start swiping now. 472 00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:12,663 Yes, yes, yes, yes... 473 00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:14,711 So, what are you looking for when you say yes? 474 00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:16,917 Pretty much, it's just a numbers game. 475 00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:18,919 Yes, yes, yes. No one ever says no... 476 00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,251 It's a match. 477 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:26,799 We got a match! 478 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:28,642 Yeah! 479 00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:57,458 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. 480 00:24:58,831 --> 00:24:59,832 Yeah. 481 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,589 Wait, wait, what does their description say? 482 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:05,799 Uh, Amber and Violet, 483 00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:08,758 two hot girls that will rock your world. 484 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,263 - This is amazing. - New message. 485 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,640 Oh, my God! They... 486 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,142 Oh, my God. They messaged us. 487 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:17,062 "You seem like just the guys we are looking for. 488 00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:20,105 "Can you meet us for dinner tonight?" 489 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:21,649 New picture message. 490 00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:23,697 Holy shit! 491 00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,491 They're hot. Look. 492 00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:28,861 Tell them yes! Tell them yes! 493 00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:34,242 Uh, yes. Where at and what time? 494 00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:36,330 I can't believe this is working. 495 00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:37,707 New message. 496 00:25:37,828 --> 00:25:41,048 "Michael J's Diner in 30 minutes." 497 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:42,917 I have no idea where that is. 498 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:47,091 Yeah. See you there. 499 00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:49,390 Wait, now that they think we're rich, 500 00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:51,804 what are we gonna wear? Rich people don't wear this. 501 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:55,221 Don't worry, I've got us covered. 502 00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:15,366 Wait. How are we gonna get there? 503 00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:19,295 - Shall I call an Uber? - No, we'll call a Boober. 504 00:26:25,834 --> 00:26:27,211 Your outfits are pretty cool. 505 00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:32,049 Why didn't you think of Boober when we were thinking of ideas? 506 00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:35,386 I've never used it before. 507 00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:37,354 I didn't know it was like this. 508 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:45,984 Hey, would you two fine ladies want to go to a party tonight? 509 00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:50,571 Sorry, we're not allowed to go anywhere with customers. 510 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:52,403 I mean, it's only for a couple of minutes, 511 00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:54,784 and then you can just leave. 512 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:59,330 They're not interested. And no filming inside the Boober. 513 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,041 Maybe that's the one that goes viral. 514 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,247 You never know. 515 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,082 That's why you always gotta be filming. 516 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:08,339 Here are your complimentary Boober condoms. 517 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:12,131 Have you guys ever tried ultra-thin condoms before? 518 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,219 We've never had sex before. 519 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:17,929 What my friend means is that we've had plenty of sex. 520 00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:21,226 It's just... We don't like using condoms. 521 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:24,150 Okay, condoms prevent 99% of STDs. 522 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:27,981 - Give me one. - I'll look after these, you'll lose yours. 523 00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:29,940 Good idea. 524 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,902 - Michael J's Diner, right? - Yeah. 525 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:38,449 - All right, we're here. - Thanks for riding with Boober! 526 00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:43,378 Michael J's Diner, where dreams come true. 527 00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,308 Are we sure we're in the right place? 528 00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:59,311 Yeah, I'm not sure about anything any more. 529 00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:19,031 Are you Thor and Petrie? 530 00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:23,994 Hello. 531 00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:27,000 Hi, I'm Thor. 532 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,081 Oh... 533 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,919 - And I'm Petrie. - Oh... 534 00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:35,969 Hi, I'm Amber. 535 00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:42,229 So, Thur and Petrie? 536 00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:45,103 Those names sound kinda fake. 537 00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:51,985 I'm fucking with you. 538 00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,533 I want to apologize for my friend Violet, 539 00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:00,785 she's running a bit late. 540 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:04,035 But, I promise, as soon as she gets here... 541 00:29:04,117 --> 00:29:05,369 ...you guys are gonna love her. 542 00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:08,376 She's, like, really hot. 543 00:29:09,248 --> 00:29:11,421 I'm sure she's not as beautiful as you. 544 00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:14,302 Petrie, you are such a sweetheart. 545 00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,883 - So, tell me... Oh... - You're such a... 546 00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:22,265 - You go ahead. - Oh, no. Please, you go. 547 00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,685 You're such a sweetheart, too. 548 00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:27,975 Aw, thank you. 549 00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:32,104 So tell me about yourselves. 550 00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:38,077 Um, well, I'm from the British royal family, adopted, 551 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:42,573 and I'm here for a really important business meeting. 552 00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:44,283 What kind of business? 553 00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:45,375 Oil. 554 00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:49,416 And what do you do at oil? 555 00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:50,622 I'm the president. 556 00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:54,343 I thought only Arabs were into oil. 557 00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:04,640 - I'm fucking with you again. - Stop that. 558 00:30:06,847 --> 00:30:09,145 Y'all need to relax, okay? Shake it off. 559 00:30:14,146 --> 00:30:16,945 So, what about you, Thor? What do you do? 560 00:30:17,858 --> 00:30:20,202 I own a video games company. 561 00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:23,538 - Make video games. - Oh, that's hot. 562 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:28,460 Uh, but it's ironic because he sucks at video games. 563 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,121 No, I don't. 564 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:33,548 Dude, I destroy you at every video game. 565 00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:35,967 What are you doing? 566 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:43,349 Well, I'm gonna go get us some drinks, okay? 567 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:45,310 Be right back. 568 00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,653 So, clearly, Amber is mine. 569 00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:02,031 But you can have her friend when she shows up. 570 00:31:02,402 --> 00:31:03,949 I'm not sleeping with any of these girls tonight. 571 00:31:04,029 --> 00:31:05,201 I'm a faithful man. 572 00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:09,250 Fine, I'll fuck both of them. Threesome. 573 00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:11,707 You haven't had sex with a girl in 18 years. 574 00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:13,671 What makes you think tonight you're gonna fuck two? 575 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:14,881 Oh... 576 00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:17,505 I think she's on the phone to her friend right now. 577 00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:24,349 Yeah, it's perfect. 578 00:31:24,466 --> 00:31:26,013 They're a couple of rich losers. 579 00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:27,470 You got the car running? 580 00:31:28,762 --> 00:31:30,856 Great, this shouldn't take long. 581 00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:53,913 Yeah? 20 million? No, I want 30. 582 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:56,920 I know the freaking Queen, okay? 583 00:31:57,457 --> 00:32:01,212 That sounds great. Deal. I gotta go. See you in a bit. 584 00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:05,390 Sorry, I had a really important business call. 585 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,426 It sounded important. 586 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,101 Here you go. 587 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:11,730 What should we toast to? 588 00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:14,938 Let's toast to you and Violet 589 00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:19,314 going to a party tonight, with us, after dinner. 590 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:21,482 Is that an invite? 591 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,533 Y... Yes, it is. 592 00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:25,527 Yes, it is. 593 00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,572 What do you think, girl, you wanna go? 594 00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:29,622 Mmm, I don't know. What do you think? 595 00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:30,702 I don't know. 596 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:32,284 We would love to come. 597 00:32:35,328 --> 00:32:36,329 To a great night. 598 00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,251 To a great night. 599 00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:50,469 Come on. Up, up, up, up, up, up. 600 00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:52,137 Mmm-mmm. 601 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,107 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yeah. 602 00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:06,325 That's really good. 603 00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:10,781 I drank way more than you. 604 00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:23,385 Yo, this is fucked. 605 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:25,675 Uh-oh! 606 00:33:29,883 --> 00:33:30,884 Night-night. 607 00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:57,494 Why aren't they waking up? 608 00:33:58,328 --> 00:34:00,422 I don't know, Goose. They're your drugs. 609 00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:01,998 You used the right amount? 610 00:34:02,082 --> 00:34:04,050 Yeah, I used exactly how much you told me to. 611 00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:07,095 'Cause the last time I used this drug, they weren't passed out for this long. 612 00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:10,181 Okay. 613 00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:11,928 Are you sure they're rich? 614 00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:13,385 Yeah, their profiles said they were. 615 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,058 One of them's president of an oil company, so... 616 00:34:17,097 --> 00:34:19,350 No, they look like they're from high school, you know. 617 00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,685 This one looks like he has no hair down below, you know. 618 00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:26,234 This soft white guy with a tight cheek. 619 00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:27,907 Very tight cheek, don't you? 620 00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:29,526 Yeah, you do. 621 00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:32,404 Hey, little boy, how are you? 622 00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:38,663 This black guy right here 623 00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:41,747 wants to play games with Daddy, huh? For me. 624 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:50,927 Are they even alive? 625 00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:52,674 Shh... 626 00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:02,267 That seemed to work. Yeah. 627 00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:16,489 Duncan? 628 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:23,083 Okay. Shut up, shut up, shut up. 629 00:35:23,163 --> 00:35:24,585 Shut the fuck up. Okay? 630 00:35:24,873 --> 00:35:26,375 What do you want from us? 631 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,631 All right. Listen here, little boy, okay? 632 00:35:28,752 --> 00:35:31,714 I'm gonna be asking the questions and you guys are gonna be giving the answers. 633 00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:35,475 Jung-Hoon! Can you keep it down? 634 00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:37,844 I'm trying to watch Ellen. 635 00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:40,680 Mom, I'm busy, okay? Stop interrupting us. 636 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,813 Okay, sweetheart. I love you. 637 00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:45,602 I love you, too. 638 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,114 Amber tells me that you guys are rich, huh? 639 00:35:50,857 --> 00:35:52,779 No, we're not rich at all. 640 00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:54,281 Oh, you're not rich at all? 641 00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:56,283 Then how come I got this off your neck, 642 00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:58,410 giant talking black homeboy? 643 00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:00,745 Drinking the juice in the hood, yeah? 644 00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,289 Fuck, man, that's fake. 645 00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:04,167 Shit, man, we're poor as shit. 646 00:36:04,621 --> 00:36:06,623 Man, we're still in high school. 647 00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:08,962 Liars, you told me 648 00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:10,669 you're president of an oil company 649 00:36:10,794 --> 00:36:12,671 and you said you create video games. 650 00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:14,427 We made that up to impress you. 651 00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:18,426 Amber, you dumb-dumb. You're a dumb-dumb. 652 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:20,348 Baby, they're lying. 653 00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,475 You saw them, they pulled up in some fancy-ass limo 654 00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:23,807 at the restaurant, right? 655 00:36:24,057 --> 00:36:26,560 You betrayed us, Amber. How could you? 656 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,399 And where the fuck is Violet, huh? 657 00:36:29,479 --> 00:36:31,322 Does she even exist? 658 00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:36,489 This is what happens when you send a woman to do a man's job. 659 00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:37,991 You know what I'm saying? 660 00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:42,287 A man? Oh, yeah, you think you're a man? 661 00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:44,411 Yeah, a man doesn't send his girlfriend of three years 662 00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:45,624 to go kidnap some kids 663 00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:47,832 because he is too much of a pussy to do it himself. 664 00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:50,383 Excuse me for a moment. 665 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:52,627 I'll be right back. 666 00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:56,260 What are you doing? 667 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:57,802 Yeah, I don't know. What am I doing? 668 00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:03,013 Okay, I'm wasting my life with some out-of-shape, wannabe-gangster loser. 669 00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:04,517 The reason why I'm out of shape is I'm out there, 670 00:37:04,597 --> 00:37:06,019 trying to provide for you, okay? 671 00:37:06,099 --> 00:37:07,476 I don't have time to go to the gym, all right? 672 00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:08,776 I'm genetically fat. 673 00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:11,237 Fuck you, Goose. You don't provide shit. 674 00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:13,777 You're 37, and you still live at home with your mom. 675 00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:16,701 Honey, dinner's ready. 676 00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,740 I'm not hungry, Mom. 677 00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:21,869 Are you sure? I made kimchi stir-fry. 678 00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:23,700 Your favorite. 679 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,619 Oh, you did? 680 00:37:26,119 --> 00:37:28,963 - Help us. - Don't say another fucking word. 681 00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:33,755 Mama, what are you doing down here? 682 00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:36,926 Oh, honey, I didn't know you had friends over. 683 00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:38,381 How rude of me. 684 00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,345 Your friends should join us for dinner. 685 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:41,426 No, thanks, Mom, 686 00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:43,598 because we're rehearsing with our new boy band 687 00:37:43,678 --> 00:37:46,017 and the black guy is the lead singer. He is very good. 688 00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:48,561 I'm tired of always eating alone. 689 00:37:48,641 --> 00:37:49,767 What if I die tomorrow? 690 00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:53,191 Then you will feel guilty for the rest of your life. 691 00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:55,568 If you and your friends don't join me for dinner, 692 00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,366 you're going to have to start paying rent. 693 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:01,905 You guys hungry? 694 00:38:08,995 --> 00:38:10,167 You scared? 695 00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:17,929 You boys will love my famous kimchi stir-fry. 696 00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:19,923 Thank you, Mrs. Pak. 697 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:22,972 Sure, dig in. 698 00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,646 Mmm. Yum... 699 00:38:40,693 --> 00:38:41,694 Who's Kaylee? 700 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:44,993 She keeps texting one of you guys. 701 00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:46,369 It's really beginning to piss me off. 702 00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:47,746 You leave her out of this. 703 00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:48,827 Oh... 704 00:38:49,118 --> 00:38:51,837 - How do you boys know Jung-Hoon? - Yeah. 705 00:38:52,288 --> 00:38:53,835 I mean, Goose. 706 00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:55,379 Goose, Goose. 707 00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:58,086 Mom, I'm creating a new app 708 00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,388 and these guys are my new investors. 709 00:39:00,630 --> 00:39:03,349 Oh, I didn't Know you were working on a new app. 710 00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:04,888 What is this one about? 711 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:07,554 It shows the nearest street corner where you can get drugs from. 712 00:39:07,637 --> 00:39:09,100 It's called Dealer. 713 00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,477 There's nothing out there like it. 714 00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:14,063 Supposedly, it's gonna make us millionaires, so... 715 00:39:15,270 --> 00:39:17,484 If you need money, just sell your watch. 716 00:39:17,564 --> 00:39:19,942 It's a piece of junk anyway. 717 00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:23,028 Mom, this watch give me major street credibility, okay? 718 00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:25,530 I cannot create an app without street cred, okay, Ma? 719 00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:26,656 You know what? 720 00:39:26,739 --> 00:39:29,663 This Dealer app of yours, it sounds a bit shady. 721 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:34,081 How is it legal to assist in the purchasing of drugs? 722 00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:36,211 There's nothing illegal about it, okay? 723 00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:38,379 Amber did research, okay? Everything is good. 724 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,340 - I googled. - She googled. 725 00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:44,135 Well, can't the police just use that to find drug dealers? 726 00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,304 That's not how it work, okay? 727 00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,011 Hey, why so many questions? 728 00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:51,518 Well, if I'm going to be an "investor" in your app, 729 00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:55,774 then, surely, I need to make sure it's worth my money. 730 00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:58,029 Oh, you getting aggressive, I like it. 731 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:00,774 Shut up, Duncan. 732 00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:04,823 I like this white boy. He's soft like Macaulay Culkin, Home Alone. 733 00:40:04,903 --> 00:40:05,904 Do the... Oh! 734 00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:08,660 Hey... 735 00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:09,912 I'm not gay, 736 00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:11,667 but I'd do you. 737 00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:12,872 You always say that. 738 00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:15,667 You tell a guy you'd fuck him, but that you're not gay. 739 00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:17,502 I know. I'm not gay, it's experimental. 740 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,670 Oh, hey, look, Kaylee calling. 741 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,381 Hey, Britain, you don't think I can do a British accent? 742 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,136 - I show you. - Oh, great. 743 00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:27,759 I practice, ha. Wait. 744 00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,181 Hello. Oh. 745 00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:32,016 Jack, I texted you the address. 746 00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:33,769 1212 Rose Avenue. 747 00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:36,521 Let me check. Yeah, I got it. 748 00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:38,273 Kaylee. 749 00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:39,899 Okay. Cool. 750 00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:41,777 I can't wait for you to see what I'm wearing tonight. 751 00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:42,861 I think you'll like it. 752 00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:45,280 Oh, that sounds bloody great. Cheers. 753 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,406 And one last thing. 754 00:40:46,486 --> 00:40:48,113 Kaylee, go fuck yourself, you bitch. 755 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,448 - What? - How could you say that? 756 00:40:50,657 --> 00:40:51,658 Oh, you gonna cry? 757 00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,251 Huh? 758 00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:56,413 Hey, Mom, I have to cut dinner a little short. 759 00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:57,873 I have some business to take care of. 760 00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:58,957 Okay. 761 00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:03,045 Hey, black guy, fudgy face. 762 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:04,424 Stand up, you coming with me. 763 00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:07,720 Stand up! 764 00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:10,930 - He means you. - Get up. 765 00:41:11,010 --> 00:41:12,432 Don't cry, Twilight vampire. 766 00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:14,851 Remember Twilight? The vampire. White guy like that. 767 00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:18,018 Get in there. 768 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:19,943 Little bitch. 769 00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:29,616 Listen up, jackass, okay? 770 00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,659 You gonna put in your PIN number at the ATM. 771 00:41:31,739 --> 00:41:32,744 I'm gonna pull out the money, 772 00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:34,701 and then you're gonna act like there's nothing wrong. 773 00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:36,661 Good plan, right? 774 00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:39,669 Do not fuck this up. 775 00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:46,425 Dude, you're gonna love this Pineapple Kush, man. 776 00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,676 Is it gonna give me the best high? 777 00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:51,804 Last time I smoked this, I watched conspiracy videos online 778 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:53,806 for, like, six hours straight. 779 00:41:53,886 --> 00:41:54,887 Awesome. 780 00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:57,769 Here. Thanks for shopping at Weed-N-Munchies, dude. 781 00:41:58,057 --> 00:41:59,058 See ya. 782 00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:03,981 - Hey, welcome to Weed-N-Munchies. - Okay, whatever. 783 00:42:13,072 --> 00:42:14,540 Welcome to Weed-N-Munchies. 784 00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:15,954 Fuck. 785 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:20,417 Hurry up, man. Let's go, let's go, let's go. 786 00:42:27,086 --> 00:42:28,258 Hurry up. Do it. 787 00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:40,400 Come on, guys, let's move it along. 788 00:42:43,853 --> 00:42:45,900 - Oh, shit. - What's goin' on? 789 00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,653 Let's go, buddy. Who doesn't know their fucking PIN? 790 00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:51,077 I'm sorry. I'm under a bit of pressure at the moment. 791 00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,863 Would you guys quit butt-fucking around? 792 00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:56,953 I have a Blindr date. She's 420-friendly. 793 00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:59,536 Oh, somebody wants to fuck or something. 794 00:42:59,869 --> 00:43:01,246 Shut up. 795 00:43:11,964 --> 00:43:13,762 - Are you crying? - No. 796 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,594 You sound like a pussy teenager. 797 00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:17,141 I am a teenager. 798 00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:20,978 Look, we're not gonna hurt you, okay? 799 00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:22,437 As soon as Goose gets the money, 800 00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:25,066 we're gonna let you guys go, so suck it up. 801 00:43:26,896 --> 00:43:29,485 I should never have told Duncan to lie about us being rich. 802 00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:31,237 Are you guys seriously not rich? 803 00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:34,532 No, I'm just an unemployed high school student 804 00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:36,034 who's scared to talk to girls. 805 00:43:37,782 --> 00:43:41,161 And now I'm never gonna see Kaylee again. 806 00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:45,506 She thinks I called her a fucking bitch. 807 00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:53,924 Hey, Heather. I'm sorry I'm late. 808 00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:55,804 I'm behind these two fucktards at the ATM. 809 00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:58,269 - What the fuck? - Who can't get their shit together. 810 00:43:58,636 --> 00:43:59,933 Motherfucker. 811 00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:06,939 - And it's done. - Yes. Okay. 812 00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:09,488 I think these morons finally got it right. 813 00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:10,857 I gotta go. I'll see you soon. 814 00:44:16,612 --> 00:44:19,744 Hey, Bigfoot, I think your ATM is broken. 815 00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:21,667 It says it has a $500 limit. 816 00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:24,454 Dude, $500 is all you can take out of that thing. 817 00:44:24,537 --> 00:44:25,789 We live in America, right? 818 00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:28,212 Have you ever used an ATM before, dumb-ass? 819 00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:32,754 You have a problemo, amigo, huh, with me? 820 00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:35,259 Oh, you wanna go, Jackie Chan? 821 00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:38,262 Hey, there's an old saying, "You wake up the sleeping dragon, 822 00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:40,060 "he might have sex with your face." 823 00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:42,100 Oh, calm down, guys, calm down. 824 00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:44,102 Dude, I just rolled this fat, sick joint. 825 00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:47,061 Let's smoke it, chill out, have fun, be friends. 826 00:44:50,438 --> 00:44:51,439 Fuck! 827 00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:17,760 That's what happens when you fuck with me, Goose. 828 00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:29,728 She's the most beautiful girl in the whole world. 829 00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:33,865 Every time I see her, I get butterflies. 830 00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:35,908 Aw... 831 00:45:36,025 --> 00:45:37,743 That is so sweet. 832 00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:41,618 I remember when Goose used to say stuff like that about me. 833 00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,992 But now all he thinks about is himself. 834 00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:47,124 Why are you still with him? He's so mean. 835 00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:48,872 I know, right? 836 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,669 I don't know, he didn't used to always be like this, 837 00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,592 like, he used to be more charming. 838 00:45:54,043 --> 00:45:57,008 He would bring me flowers when I was at work. 839 00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:58,806 He would fuck me real hard and good. 840 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,596 We would have dinner in public, you know what I mean? 841 00:46:01,676 --> 00:46:02,928 Like, normal stuff. 842 00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:05,057 I still don't think you should be with Goose. 843 00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:06,480 You can do a lot better. 844 00:46:08,474 --> 00:46:09,817 Thank you. 845 00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,602 You know what? 846 00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:14,731 When Goose gets back, I'm gonna get your phone 847 00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:16,782 and I'm gonna call Kaylee, and I'm gonna tell her 848 00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:18,617 you did not called her a fucking bitch. 849 00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:20,491 - You would do that? - Yes. 850 00:46:20,945 --> 00:46:22,788 You guys are sweet boys, aren't you? 851 00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:26,579 - Fuck you. - Why would you do that? 852 00:46:26,659 --> 00:46:28,457 What the hell? I just rescued you, bitch. 853 00:46:28,577 --> 00:46:30,625 You idiot! She was gonna call Kaylee for me. 854 00:46:30,746 --> 00:46:33,211 Well, I've stolen Goose's car, so we need to leave now. 855 00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:35,339 What the fuck? What the fuck? Where's Goose? 856 00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:37,381 Goose got in a fight with a crazy guy 857 00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:39,383 and got knocked the fuck out. 858 00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:42,592 He's gonna fucking kill us. 859 00:46:42,675 --> 00:46:44,222 Oh, my God. Not if he can't catch us. 860 00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:48,023 That's why we need to move and get in the car now. 861 00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:49,265 Yo, what's up, people? 862 00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:51,646 Check out my new pimp ride. 863 00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:55,442 And in shotgun, we got Jack, the pussy. 864 00:46:56,355 --> 00:46:57,481 What are you doing? 865 00:46:57,606 --> 00:46:58,698 Dude, relax. 866 00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:01,365 Watch where you're going, and I don't wanna be in your stupid vlog. 867 00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:03,074 Dude, I saved us both. 868 00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:04,622 The least you can say is, "Thank you." 869 00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:06,540 You stole a drug dealer's car. 870 00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:09,536 That's not all I stole. Pah! 871 00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:10,791 Why did you take that? 872 00:47:11,078 --> 00:47:13,957 Wait, let me think. Because, uh... 873 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,042 Fuck him. 874 00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:17,802 Great reasoning. 875 00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:20,054 Did you at least get our phones? 876 00:47:20,713 --> 00:47:22,511 Oh, shit. 877 00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:23,632 Let me get this straight. 878 00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:27,765 You made a conscious effort to steal a drug dealers car and watch, 879 00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,809 but you didn't think to get our phones? 880 00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:32,062 Oh, Jack, come on, I had a lot on my mind. 881 00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,603 Fuck! We have no phones, no girls, 882 00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:36,403 and no way of getting to this party. 883 00:47:40,274 --> 00:47:42,652 - I don't feel so well. - Wait, what do you mean? 884 00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,237 Pull over. I'm gonna hurl. 885 00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,788 Oh, fucking hell, Jack. 886 00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:57,250 Yo, don't be too long, you know this car is stolen. 887 00:48:04,507 --> 00:48:06,555 Yo, space 'em out, Toph. 888 00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:07,847 It's gotta look fresh, bro. 889 00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:09,770 Bro, it's gonna look fresh. 890 00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:11,313 All right. Yo, look at me. 891 00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:13,686 No time for mistakes, okay? 892 00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:15,689 Fourth quarter. Game's on the line. 893 00:48:16,769 --> 00:48:18,942 All right? Peeps gonna be showing up any minute now. 894 00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:21,152 You think Kaylee's gonna take you back tonight? 895 00:48:21,941 --> 00:48:24,280 Toph, what kinda question is that, man? 896 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,198 Look at me, of course she is. 897 00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:28,576 Plus, I only cheated on her, like, what, three or four times? 898 00:48:28,697 --> 00:48:31,287 And one of them was an HJ, so barely counts. 899 00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:33,540 Dude, I remember that. Didn't she almost rip your dick off? 900 00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:35,291 Yeah. Yeah, she did. 901 00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:37,376 Jackhammer Jillian. 902 00:48:37,456 --> 00:48:39,378 She was like... I was like... 903 00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:40,755 Bitch was crazy. 904 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,257 I remember the pictures you sent me. 905 00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:43,971 You got a big-ass dick. I'm kinda jealous. 906 00:48:44,255 --> 00:48:45,882 Yeah, I do. I got a huge dick, Toph. 907 00:48:45,965 --> 00:48:47,842 - You should be jealous. - I'm actually really jealous. 908 00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:49,973 Yeah. Well. 909 00:48:51,137 --> 00:48:53,481 Thank God my dick's all healed up now. 910 00:49:00,521 --> 00:49:03,400 - Take me to 307 Butler. - Who the fuck are you? 911 00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:05,943 Aren't you my Uber driver? 912 00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:08,366 No, I am not your Uber driver. 913 00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,040 Well, shit, can't you just take me? 914 00:49:11,490 --> 00:49:14,664 I've been waiting here 20 minutes on my damn ride. 915 00:49:14,994 --> 00:49:16,621 You know what? I think I'm good. 916 00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:18,581 I've already got one guy trying to kill me. 917 00:49:18,831 --> 00:49:21,300 Come on, man. I'll give you 5 bucks. 918 00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:22,751 Fuck no. 919 00:49:23,335 --> 00:49:24,336 20? 920 00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:28,636 Oh, God. 921 00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:36,391 Who is this creepy guy? 922 00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:37,851 I'm not creepy, 923 00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:41,650 but I am fixing to go to this killer party right now. 924 00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:49,198 Will there be girls at this party? 925 00:49:49,278 --> 00:49:50,616 Oh, yeah. 926 00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:53,245 There'll be tons of vagina there. 927 00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:58,663 Every bone in my body is telling me that this is a bad idea. 928 00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:00,005 Jack. 929 00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,676 I know this guy might look like a... 930 00:50:08,172 --> 00:50:11,802 Creepy pedophile, but he may be our ticket 931 00:50:11,884 --> 00:50:13,056 to Tucker's party. 932 00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:18,600 Come on, man. Let's go. We're missing all the fun. 933 00:50:19,683 --> 00:50:20,684 Trust me. 934 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:26,777 If it's weird, we're leaving. 935 00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,859 Dude, come on, it's not gonna be weird. 936 00:50:32,238 --> 00:50:33,865 Okay, it's weird. 937 00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:35,282 Password? 938 00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:37,125 Nipple fuck. 939 00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:43,541 Welcome to the Pleasure Palace. 940 00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:45,004 Please, come in. 941 00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:47,086 Ooh, the Pleasure Palace. 942 00:50:49,255 --> 00:50:51,383 You guys don't have too much fun tonight. 943 00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:56,638 The King will see you now. 944 00:51:07,565 --> 00:51:09,909 Yeah, this might've been a bad idea. 945 00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:13,070 I'd rather be with Goose. 946 00:51:24,039 --> 00:51:25,882 Do y'all know who I am? 947 00:51:27,126 --> 00:51:28,127 Uh... 948 00:51:31,797 --> 00:51:34,095 My name is King Pleasure. 949 00:51:34,216 --> 00:51:36,435 And y'all two boys are right on time, 950 00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:40,940 'cause the festivities have just begun. 951 00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:52,651 Silence! 952 00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,120 You're scaring Lazarus. 953 00:51:59,783 --> 00:52:01,160 Now y'all two boys be still, 954 00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:03,211 and let Lazarus here inspect you. 955 00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:25,317 So, tell me, how do you like this song? 956 00:52:26,644 --> 00:52:28,317 This song is appropriate for the moment. 957 00:52:30,064 --> 00:52:33,112 Well, just as I suspected. 958 00:52:33,192 --> 00:52:36,366 Lazarus has found you both to be virgins. 959 00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:38,197 No. 960 00:52:40,449 --> 00:52:43,328 The girls waiting for you love virgins. 961 00:52:45,537 --> 00:52:46,538 Well, 962 00:52:47,539 --> 00:52:49,507 you boys ready to get laid? 963 00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:58,851 My father built this place back in the year 1989. 964 00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:04,140 That was just before he suffered a terrible accident. 965 00:53:04,973 --> 00:53:08,273 He was the first man ever to be eaten alive by an otter. 966 00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:10,396 Not a pretty sight. 967 00:53:12,648 --> 00:53:16,278 You boys turned out sexier than I could've ever hoped. 968 00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:21,783 Your safe word is "Jumanji." 969 00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:32,838 Now, of course, as the oldest boy, 970 00:53:32,918 --> 00:53:36,388 it was my responsibility to avenge my father's death. 971 00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:38,257 So I tracked that otter for two months 972 00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,842 through the swamps of Louisiana. 973 00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:42,014 And when I found him, well, let's just say 974 00:53:42,094 --> 00:53:45,223 we both knew only one of us was leaving those swamps alive. 975 00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:51,938 Your safe word is "Yes." 976 00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:54,857 Enjoy. 977 00:53:57,317 --> 00:53:58,364 Hey, sweet thing. 978 00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:02,240 Won't you come over here and let Mama give you a massage? 979 00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:05,075 I guess a massage sounds nice. 980 00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:09,250 Yes, so I've been coming here for about three years, 981 00:54:09,371 --> 00:54:10,501 it's really good for business. 982 00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:12,503 There's just something about screwing strangers 983 00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:15,427 that just really turns me on, you know what I mean? 984 00:54:20,299 --> 00:54:22,768 Usually, I have a room that has a peep hole so that everybody can watch, 985 00:54:22,885 --> 00:54:24,014 'cause people wanna watch, you know what I mean? 986 00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:25,596 And, one time, I was here with four old men, 987 00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:28,558 and when I say old, I mean really old, like, ages 75 to 80. 988 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,233 And I was afraid that they wouldn't be able to get it up, 989 00:54:30,350 --> 00:54:31,397 but I totally got them up. 990 00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:33,695 So. 991 00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:38,492 - Do you wanna fuck me? - Yes. 992 00:54:39,193 --> 00:54:40,194 Cool. 993 00:54:41,153 --> 00:54:44,123 Oh, you are such a baby. How old are you? 994 00:54:45,157 --> 00:54:46,204 Eighteen. 995 00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:48,585 Mmm. Old enough. 996 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:57,257 You like Mama's massage? 997 00:54:57,836 --> 00:54:59,179 That feels good. 998 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:09,139 You're very strong. 999 00:55:09,473 --> 00:55:11,895 Do you want a happy ending? 1000 00:55:11,975 --> 00:55:13,689 Do you want me to stop? 1001 00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:16,818 Yes, yes, yes, yes! 1002 00:55:17,606 --> 00:55:19,984 Sounds like your friend is having fun. 1003 00:55:20,067 --> 00:55:21,238 I love you. 1004 00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:28,496 I was yelling the safe word. Why didn't you stop? 1005 00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:30,081 Jack? 1006 00:55:33,205 --> 00:55:35,549 What the fuck? Frog Boy? 1007 00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:37,376 Frog Boy. 1008 00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:43,598 Are you ready? 1009 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:45,475 Yes. 1010 00:55:47,636 --> 00:55:51,140 This is how we Brits do it in America. 1011 00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:56,190 Duncan, we gotta go! 1012 00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:57,816 Jack, not now! 1013 00:55:57,896 --> 00:55:59,860 I just got a massage from Principal Raheem! 1014 00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:01,317 We have to leave now! 1015 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,869 I'm gonna let you two figure this out. 1016 00:56:03,986 --> 00:56:05,033 How could you, Jack? 1017 00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:07,201 I was finally about to gel laid, 1018 00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:10,376 and you ruin it by being a fuckin' huge cockblock! 1019 00:56:10,576 --> 00:56:12,249 I can't take you seriously with that boner. 1020 00:56:13,161 --> 00:56:15,414 If your friend wants to join, I love threesomes. 1021 00:56:15,706 --> 00:56:17,128 We are not having a threesome. 1022 00:56:17,624 --> 00:56:20,002 Literally, all you had to do was wait two minutes, 1023 00:56:20,085 --> 00:56:21,924 and I would've had the greatest night of my life. 1024 00:56:22,004 --> 00:56:23,551 The greatest night of my life, bro. 1025 00:56:23,672 --> 00:56:26,512 Really? The greatest night of your life? Are you on drugs? 1026 00:56:32,598 --> 00:56:34,225 Get it off! Get it off! 1027 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:38,230 Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! 1028 00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:45,447 What is that? Is that lube? 1029 00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:47,029 She's not responding! 1030 00:56:47,321 --> 00:56:50,575 Fuck! Oh, God, Leslie, don't die on me! 1031 00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:52,368 You're too young and beautiful! 1032 00:56:52,451 --> 00:56:55,079 Police. Open up. Stop your fucking immediately. 1033 00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:01,714 Up against the wall. Spread it. Give me that! 1034 00:57:02,002 --> 00:57:03,595 Oh, we need to get the fuck out of here. 1035 00:57:05,797 --> 00:57:07,970 Shit! The car's blocked in! 1036 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:10,264 They're gonna think we killed her. 1037 00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,142 We're gonna go to jail. 1038 00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:16,726 I'm gonna lose my virginity to a bunch of big, black, hairy dudes, 1039 00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:18,560 and they're gonna fuck me in the ass, bro. 1040 00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:21,859 They're gonna bend me over and fuck my tight little ass, 1041 00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:23,861 and there's nothing I can do about it! 1042 00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:24,942 I'm just gonna... 1043 00:57:25,067 --> 00:57:26,068 What the fuck are you doing? 1044 00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:29,157 - I'm getting out of here! - You can't just fucking take her car! 1045 00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:30,659 You can't just leave her here! 1046 00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,158 Are you coming or not? 1047 00:57:32,866 --> 00:57:34,163 Ugh, fine! 1048 00:57:36,495 --> 00:57:37,712 Which one is it? 1049 00:57:39,498 --> 00:57:40,966 Oh, for fuck's sake. 1050 00:57:44,836 --> 00:57:47,180 Would you stop pulling so hard on my ribs? 1051 00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:48,549 What the hell am I supposed to do? 1052 00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:51,010 You're literally taking up all the space. 1053 00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:52,431 Why don't you just get off 1054 00:57:52,511 --> 00:57:54,479 and let me go to this party by myself? 1055 00:57:55,681 --> 00:57:57,394 Ever since Kaylee pretended to like you, 1056 00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:59,317 you've just become such an asshole. 1057 00:57:59,851 --> 00:58:01,819 Get off. 1058 00:58:02,479 --> 00:58:04,481 - I'm not getting off. - Get off! 1059 00:58:04,606 --> 00:58:06,779 - No! - Fine, then I'll get off. 1060 00:58:07,985 --> 00:58:09,362 Oh, just walk away, you pussy. 1061 00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:11,950 You know what? Today would've been a pretty good day 1062 00:58:12,030 --> 00:58:14,077 if you didn't take me on that stupid blind date with you. 1063 00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:16,785 You wanted to go on that blind date just as much as me, 1064 00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:20,080 so you could see your precious Kaylee. 1065 00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:21,752 Things with Kaylee would've been just fine 1066 00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,209 if you would've taken our phones back from Goose, 1067 00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:25,127 or not have knocked out Amber. 1068 00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:28,300 And on top of that, you took us to that stupid fucking sex party 1069 00:58:28,380 --> 00:58:30,508 where I was molested by Principal Raheem. 1070 00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:32,634 You know I could've easily gone to the party by myself? 1071 00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:34,890 But, hey, I was trying to be a good friend 1072 00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:37,189 by talking to Tucker so you could come with me. 1073 00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:38,682 A good friend? 1074 00:58:38,807 --> 00:58:41,021 - You think you're a good friend? - Yeah. 1075 00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:43,273 You're the most selfish person I've ever met! 1076 00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:44,942 Selfish. 1077 00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:47,024 You're calling me selfish? 1078 00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:50,030 All you've wanted to do the whole day is meet up with some girl 1079 00:58:50,110 --> 00:58:52,783 that barely even knows your fucking name. 1080 00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:55,742 - Fuck you, Jack. - Fuck you, Duncan. 1081 00:58:55,824 --> 00:58:57,201 I'm finding away in. 1082 00:58:57,492 --> 00:59:00,371 I'm glad this is gonna be the last night we're gonna be together. 1083 00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:02,210 So am I. 1084 00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:04,920 Have fun banging the BLOB. 1085 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,468 I'm sure you'll need a condom. 1086 00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:36,706 The fuck happened to you? 1087 00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:40,080 - Me? - Yeah. 1088 00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:43,585 I was attacked and my car was stolen. 1089 00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:45,877 What happened to the little guy? 1090 00:59:45,957 --> 00:59:48,460 The one you let get away knocked me out. 1091 00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:50,382 I woke up, I don't know where the fuck they are. 1092 00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:52,968 Holy fuck! 1093 00:59:53,048 --> 00:59:55,050 Okay, how about don't get robbed by a teenager? 1094 00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:56,134 Okay? How about that? 1095 00:59:56,635 --> 00:59:58,933 And that little fucker, he stole my watch. 1096 00:59:59,054 --> 01:00:01,182 I'm gonna kill him. They're both gonna die. 1097 01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:03,892 I am gonna pull my gun on black guy. 1098 01:00:04,101 --> 01:00:06,445 Twilight... Dead. 1099 01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:08,900 Who cares about your stupid fucking watch, okay? 1100 01:00:08,980 --> 01:00:10,357 What about your girlfriend, huh? 1101 01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:13,488 You know what, Goose? I'm done. 1102 01:00:13,568 --> 01:00:14,569 I'm done. 1103 01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:16,572 Oh, no, no, no, baby, don't leave me. 1104 01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,657 You know it's hard to find a white girl that likes an Asian guy. 1105 01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:20,583 Come on. I love you so much, baby. 1106 01:00:21,076 --> 01:00:22,578 You're the love of my life. I love you. 1107 01:00:22,786 --> 01:00:23,787 For real? 1108 01:00:23,912 --> 01:00:26,165 Yeah, you know, sometimes I know I'm not a good boyfriend, 1109 01:00:26,248 --> 01:00:30,048 but I do everything I can to provide for my lady, you know. 1110 01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:32,303 You're my pookie bear. 1111 01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:33,967 Who my pookie bear? 1112 01:00:34,089 --> 01:00:36,762 I your pookie bear. Me. 1113 01:00:36,842 --> 01:00:38,014 You my pookie bear. 1114 01:00:41,179 --> 01:00:44,023 Okay, well, then kiss me if you mean it. 1115 01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:46,602 Oh, yeah? You want me to kiss you, baby? 1116 01:00:46,685 --> 01:00:47,937 Oh, my God, you will? 1117 01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:51,652 The party. 1118 01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:53,737 - Oh... - Are you fucking serious? 1119 01:00:53,817 --> 01:00:55,239 The party. The party. The party. 1120 01:00:57,028 --> 01:00:58,700 Mom, change of plans. 1121 01:00:58,780 --> 01:01:01,329 You gonna drop us off at 1212 Rose Avenue. 1122 01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:05,750 Oh, us? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, honey. 1123 01:01:06,121 --> 01:01:08,169 You know what, Goose? 1124 01:01:08,290 --> 01:01:10,793 You and I are over. 1125 01:01:12,294 --> 01:01:14,467 Stick your two-inch dick in someone else. 1126 01:01:14,588 --> 01:01:15,931 Don't leave me, pookie bear. 1127 01:01:16,882 --> 01:01:19,055 It's not two inches, it's three. Hard. 1128 01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:20,677 Damn it! 1129 01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:45,827 What the fuck you want, bro? 1130 01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:48,331 I'm here for Tucker's party. 1131 01:01:48,663 --> 01:01:51,712 - Are you on the list? - Yeah. 1132 01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,008 What's your first name? 1133 01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:57,927 Uh, Duncan. 1134 01:01:59,382 --> 01:02:01,847 Oh, yeah, Duncan. Yeah, you're not on the fuckin' list. 1135 01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:03,390 What up, biatch? 1136 01:02:03,470 --> 01:02:04,471 Where are the girls? 1137 01:02:05,597 --> 01:02:07,099 And where the fuck are your clothes? 1138 01:02:07,349 --> 01:02:09,688 Tucker, I tried so hard. 1139 01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:11,520 First of all, we met up with this really hot girl, 1140 01:02:11,603 --> 01:02:13,776 and she was supposed to bring her really hot friend, 1141 01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:15,986 but then we got kidnapped by her boyfriend. 1142 01:02:16,066 --> 01:02:18,280 But luckily, we managed to escape. 1143 01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,824 Then we went to this crazy place called the Pleasure Palace. 1144 01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:22,701 There was a king, and there was a midget, 1145 01:02:22,781 --> 01:02:24,579 and then I found this other hot girl, 1146 01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:25,871 and I was gonna bring her to the party, 1147 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:27,578 but then she OD'd on coke. 1148 01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:29,004 Coke, man. Coke. 1149 01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:32,757 So I had to Segway from there all the way to here. 1150 01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:35,085 Pretty much what I am trying to say is that 1151 01:02:35,210 --> 01:02:37,174 I tried so, so hard to get here, 1152 01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:38,341 and it would mean the world 1153 01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:40,094 if you could just let me in and have some fun... 1154 01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:41,925 Fuck! 1155 01:02:58,358 --> 01:02:59,780 Dude. You can't come in. 1156 01:03:00,068 --> 01:03:03,072 Are you sure we can't make an, uh, arrangement? 1157 01:03:05,490 --> 01:03:07,704 Yeah. I'm gonna need some clothes, too. 1158 01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:55,585 Let's go, fucking little bitches, no more dudes. 1159 01:03:55,665 --> 01:03:57,292 Dude, are you okay? Fuck you, Topher. 1160 01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:59,173 Oh, yeah, you guys can still fuck each other tonight. 1161 01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,221 - Aw, like we're gonna fuck each other. - Yeah, we wouldn't do that, right? 1162 01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:22,492 Hey, Mr. Pickles, I'm coming. 1163 01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:27,034 Why's this door so hard to open? Open, you piece of shit. 1164 01:04:32,243 --> 01:04:35,543 Mr. Pickles, are you ready for your big moment, buddy? 1165 01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:39,004 Everyone's excited to see you. Where are you, man? 1166 01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:41,086 What are you doing under the bed, you little silly-willy? 1167 01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:45,010 What... No. No! 1168 01:04:45,090 --> 01:04:47,637 Oh, my God! Who did this to you, Mr. Pickles? 1169 01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:48,718 What's wrong, Tucker? 1170 01:04:49,844 --> 01:04:52,347 Mr. Pickles was murdered! He's dead! 1171 01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,352 Don't worry, we'll find the motherfucker who did this 1172 01:04:54,432 --> 01:04:55,558 and make them pay. 1173 01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:58,065 - Hold me. - I'm here for you, man. 1174 01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:07,032 Damn. 1175 01:05:07,112 --> 01:05:10,161 The things I would do to have one night with one of those girls. 1176 01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:14,370 The trick with girls is you need to insult them. 1177 01:05:14,452 --> 01:05:18,753 Bring their self-esteem down, and then go in for the kill. 1178 01:05:18,957 --> 01:05:20,925 Does that really work? 1179 01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:23,595 Yeah. This book I'm reading has a whole chapter on it. 1180 01:05:24,087 --> 01:05:27,762 It also says, "Lowering the quality raises the quantity." 1181 01:05:29,592 --> 01:05:30,889 Take her, for example. 1182 01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:33,813 That's the kind of girl we need to find. 1183 01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:36,642 The BLOB. Not her. 1184 01:05:37,725 --> 01:05:38,692 Not yet. 1185 01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:42,821 Them. 1186 01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:52,074 That color doesn't look good on you. 1187 01:05:52,157 --> 01:05:53,124 Excuse me? 1188 01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:56,711 And are you texting her how much of a slut you are? 1189 01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:59,751 Seriously? That's your pickup line? 1190 01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,048 You guys are creeps. 1191 01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:03,460 And fuck you, Chocolate Rain. 1192 01:06:06,838 --> 01:06:08,306 Great advice, man. 1193 01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:10,471 And he's just, like, under my bed, dead. 1194 01:06:10,592 --> 01:06:11,763 I'm like, "Are you alive?" 1195 01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:13,845 He doesn't say anything 'cause he's dead, you know? 1196 01:06:13,928 --> 01:06:15,305 Look, you don't get it, okay? 1197 01:06:15,388 --> 01:06:18,061 Mr. Pickles was my best friend. He's all I had. 1198 01:06:18,141 --> 01:06:21,020 He's all I ever had, and now he's dead. 1199 01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:22,440 And is it supposed to be okay? 1200 01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,522 No. I'm sad, okay? 1201 01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:32,617 Just tell her the truth. 1202 01:06:32,697 --> 01:06:34,040 Everything is gonna be fine. 1203 01:06:39,954 --> 01:06:40,955 Kaylee. 1204 01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:43,795 What the hell do you want? 1205 01:06:43,875 --> 01:06:46,845 I thought we were, you know, gonna hang out a bit tonight. 1206 01:06:47,212 --> 01:06:50,136 Well, yeah, I wanted to until you called me a fucking bitch. 1207 01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:52,058 Funny thing is, that wasn't me. 1208 01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:55,307 I was actually kidnapped earlier today. 1209 01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:57,014 - Really? - Yeah. 1210 01:06:57,138 --> 01:06:58,810 That guy you spoke to on the phone, 1211 01:06:58,890 --> 01:07:01,018 that's the guy who kidnapped me. His name is Goose. 1212 01:07:02,393 --> 01:07:05,021 - Goose? - Yeah. 1213 01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:07,027 Okay. 1214 01:07:07,148 --> 01:07:09,526 Calling me a bitch is one thing. 1215 01:07:09,651 --> 01:07:11,028 But lying straight to my face? 1216 01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:14,660 And I thought you were one of the nice guys. 1217 01:07:20,078 --> 01:07:24,254 Stop the car! Stop! Stop, Mama, stop. 1218 01:07:24,374 --> 01:07:25,796 God damn. 1219 01:07:26,417 --> 01:07:29,261 Those two little shits don't know what's coming to them. 1220 01:07:34,634 --> 01:07:35,681 Mama? 1221 01:07:37,220 --> 01:07:38,221 Yes? 1222 01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:40,810 Do you believe in me? 1223 01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:44,064 Ever since you were a little baby, I knew you would be special. 1224 01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,359 You can do what you put your mind to. 1225 01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:49,983 I am gonna make you proud, Mama. 1226 01:07:50,066 --> 01:07:53,036 But make it fast so I can see the end of my show. 1227 01:07:53,319 --> 01:07:57,118 - Okay, you'll watch your show. - Yes, yes. 1228 01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:58,825 Those two little motherfuckers are dead. 1229 01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:01,912 That's right. Right. That's my son. 1230 01:08:02,745 --> 01:08:03,712 Yes. 1231 01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,041 My son. 1232 01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:16,513 All right, you little horny freaks, 1233 01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,766 stop grinding on each other for two seconds, 1234 01:08:18,886 --> 01:08:21,264 'cause I know we've been waiting all night for the big surprise, 1235 01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:24,225 but wait no longer, 'cause right here, on stage, 1236 01:08:24,309 --> 01:08:27,899 performing his first ever original rap song, 1237 01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:29,859 the daddy of Mr. Pickles, 1238 01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:35,865 Mr. 10 Million Subscribers, give it up, Tucker fucking Jones. 1239 01:08:38,781 --> 01:08:41,284 Check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out. Oh, yeah. 1240 01:08:43,870 --> 01:08:46,248 Fuck me, Tucker! 1241 01:08:46,331 --> 01:08:49,551 Yo, this song right here is dedicated to my cat, Mr. Pickles. 1242 01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:52,629 I found him murdered in my room earlier. 1243 01:08:52,837 --> 01:08:53,804 No! 1244 01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:56,719 But you know what? It's all good. 1245 01:08:56,799 --> 01:08:58,596 We got Topher checking the security cameras, 1246 01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:00,890 - and we're gonna find that motherfucker. - Yeah. 1247 01:09:00,970 --> 01:09:02,892 And we're gonna make him pay. 1248 01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:04,019 Play that shit. 1249 01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:07,109 # Yo! 1250 01:09:07,769 --> 01:09:09,942 # Tucker Jones on the mic, uh, yeah 1251 01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:13,278 # Back when I was 16 Captain of the football team 1252 01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,531 # Nothing could stop me Until I hurt my knee 1253 01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:18,363 # Doc said I'd never play again, but I did 1254 01:09:18,488 --> 01:09:20,081 # I got tiger blood in me 1255 01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:22,246 # I'm here to win, biatch # 1256 01:09:22,700 --> 01:09:24,668 Kaylee, can I talk to you for a few seconds? 1257 01:09:25,203 --> 01:09:26,830 Can you give me, like, two minutes? 1258 01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:31,129 - What now? - I really like you. 1259 01:09:31,209 --> 01:09:33,423 And I went through a lot of trouble to see you here tonight. 1260 01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:37,343 Every time I see you, I get butterflies. 1261 01:09:37,423 --> 01:09:39,346 And I've never felt like that before with someone. 1262 01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:42,721 I've had bad experiences with people that lie. So... 1263 01:09:43,346 --> 01:09:45,810 # To all my haters, you can suck my balls 1264 01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:48,359 # To all my haters, you can suck my balls # You can suck my balls 1265 01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:51,024 # To all my haters, you can suck my balls # You can suck my balls 1266 01:09:51,229 --> 01:09:52,196 # You can suck my balls 1267 01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:54,278 That fucker stole my song! 1268 01:09:54,399 --> 01:09:56,367 # Sucky, sucky, sucky, suck my balls # 1269 01:09:56,651 --> 01:09:58,870 Can we go talk outside? It's really loud in here. 1270 01:09:58,986 --> 01:10:01,114 - Uh, no, thanks, I'm good. - Please? 1271 01:10:01,781 --> 01:10:02,782 Leave me alone. 1272 01:10:02,865 --> 01:10:04,663 Just let me go. 1273 01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:06,999 - Stop! - Yo, stop the music, man. 1274 01:10:08,246 --> 01:10:09,247 Oh, no. 1275 01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,464 Tucker! 1276 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:15,716 Yo, why did you have your hands on her, bro? 1277 01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:17,675 And why the fuck are you wearing my jersey? 1278 01:10:17,755 --> 01:10:19,678 Leave him alone. I can handle this myself. 1279 01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:21,893 Yo, no one touches her except me, okay? 1280 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:23,845 We broke up. I can do whatever I want. 1281 01:10:23,928 --> 01:10:25,180 Why don't you shut up, bitch? 1282 01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:26,726 Ooh... 1283 01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:28,395 She's not a bitch. 1284 01:10:28,516 --> 01:10:29,608 You're a bitch. 1285 01:10:29,726 --> 01:10:31,147 Oh, shit. 1286 01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:34,401 - What did you just say? - I said, you're a bitch. 1287 01:10:35,940 --> 01:10:38,237 You were dating the most beautiful girl in the whole world 1288 01:10:38,317 --> 01:10:39,785 and you treated her like shit. 1289 01:10:40,361 --> 01:10:42,580 - Yeah, so? - You're an asshole. 1290 01:10:42,697 --> 01:10:44,244 She deserves someone better. 1291 01:10:44,365 --> 01:10:46,333 What? Someone like you? 1292 01:10:46,743 --> 01:10:48,581 Yes. Someone like me. 1293 01:10:49,996 --> 01:10:50,997 Yo, Tucker. 1294 01:10:53,124 --> 01:10:55,502 - It was him. He killed Mr. Pickles. - What? 1295 01:10:55,877 --> 01:10:57,715 - No, I didn't. - Oh, yeah, you did. 1296 01:10:57,795 --> 01:11:00,093 - We caught it on camera, too. - Oh, no. 1297 01:11:00,715 --> 01:11:01,716 Oh... 1298 01:11:05,511 --> 01:11:06,979 Mr. Pickles? 1299 01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:09,265 What are you doing under the bed, you little silly-willy? 1300 01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,892 Mr. Pickles, oh, my God! 1301 01:11:11,976 --> 01:11:13,649 Mr. Pickles has been murdered! 1302 01:11:13,978 --> 01:11:15,946 Hold me! 1303 01:11:17,565 --> 01:11:18,942 Yo, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass, bro. 1304 01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,948 Freeze! 1305 01:11:21,152 --> 01:11:22,779 Nobody move! 1306 01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:26,661 All you kids having a good time, huh? 1307 01:11:26,741 --> 01:11:30,540 You drinking, having sex with each other. Chuk, chuck. Okay? 1308 01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,083 And this guy singing. 1309 01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:35,292 Gay guy, "Oh, suck my ball, suck the ball." 1310 01:11:35,416 --> 01:11:37,255 No, thank you, I'm not gay, but maybe tonight, okay? 1311 01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:38,712 Now, back away! 1312 01:11:39,128 --> 01:11:41,881 I have unfinished business with my little cutie-pie right here. 1313 01:11:41,964 --> 01:11:43,557 - Oh, shit. - Where's my car? 1314 01:11:44,383 --> 01:11:45,930 It's at the Pleasure Palace. 1315 01:11:47,303 --> 01:11:48,930 What the fuck is a Pleasure Palace? 1316 01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:53,018 It's where they have sex, and there's a beaver and a midget. 1317 01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:55,273 Ooh, I love beaver-midget sex. 1318 01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:56,320 It get me hard, you know what I mean? 1319 01:11:56,437 --> 01:11:58,314 Give me my keys and my watch. 1320 01:11:59,357 --> 01:12:00,445 I don't have them. 1321 01:12:00,525 --> 01:12:01,612 And where's your black friend? 1322 01:12:01,692 --> 01:12:03,285 The one that looks like Whoopi Goldberg? 1323 01:12:03,820 --> 01:12:04,821 I don't know. 1324 01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:07,660 Hey, you Asian bitch, you can't just come into my party 1325 01:12:07,740 --> 01:12:10,118 with a fucking gun, acting like you own the place. 1326 01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:11,202 You need to fuckin' leave. 1327 01:12:12,495 --> 01:12:14,834 Look at this big guy talking to me, huh? 1328 01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,008 You think you're Superman 'cause you look like Brandon Routh? 1329 01:12:17,291 --> 01:12:19,794 I have HRS, Hidden Retard Strength. 1330 01:12:19,877 --> 01:12:20,969 I will fuck you! 1331 01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:23,305 Yeah, I wanna fuck you, I wanna fuck you bad, bro. 1332 01:12:23,589 --> 01:12:24,841 I'm fucking loco. 1333 01:12:25,299 --> 01:12:26,300 Oh! 1334 01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:31,973 Whoo! Oh, I'm gonna fuckin' enjoy this shit. 1335 01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:40,818 That was awesome! 1336 01:12:45,236 --> 01:12:46,579 Party's back on. 1337 01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:52,163 Shit, Tucker, wake up, dude. 1338 01:12:52,243 --> 01:12:54,166 Tucker? You just got knocked out, dude. 1339 01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:55,997 Who was that guy? He was gonna kill you. 1340 01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:58,461 That's the guy who kidnapped us. 1341 01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,004 - Is that the truth? - Yeah. 1342 01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:01,464 That's the little Asian motherfucker 1343 01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:04,263 that wanted to fuck on me, huh? Fuck you! 1344 01:13:06,549 --> 01:13:07,766 I'm sorry. 1345 01:13:09,051 --> 01:13:12,396 Why the fuck are you guys still partying? Someone help me. 1346 01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,015 Fuck, come on, Tucker. 1347 01:13:14,098 --> 01:13:16,646 All right, guys, now we're gonna slow it down a little bit. 1348 01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:18,439 'Cause, here, to perform his original song, 1349 01:13:18,519 --> 01:13:21,693 You're Always Loved, give it up for my boy Golden. 1350 01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:32,704 # She's the part in the movie where it all adds up 1351 01:13:33,159 --> 01:13:36,379 # So caught up in her eyes 1352 01:13:36,579 --> 01:13:40,584 # Oh, can't look away, I'm hypnotized 1353 01:13:41,459 --> 01:13:43,382 - Look, man... - No, you're right. 1354 01:13:44,045 --> 01:13:46,924 I'm an asshole. And I'm selfish. 1355 01:13:47,715 --> 01:13:50,719 I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this shit tonight. 1356 01:13:51,344 --> 01:13:52,641 You don't need to apologize. 1357 01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:55,849 I shouldn't have called you a bad friend. 1358 01:13:55,932 --> 01:13:57,400 I was being selfish, too. 1359 01:13:57,975 --> 01:14:01,195 So, um, are we cool? 1360 01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:03,606 We're cool. 1361 01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:07,615 # I will be there, I'll be there 1362 01:14:08,152 --> 01:14:11,117 # When the words just come out wrong 1363 01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:15,373 # And you're sick of the love songs 1364 01:14:15,993 --> 01:14:18,462 # I will be there, I'll be there 1365 01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:21,002 Hey, do you mind if I borrow Jack for a little? 1366 01:14:21,123 --> 01:14:22,466 Not now, Kaylee! 1367 01:14:23,042 --> 01:14:25,465 - Duncan. - I'm just kidding. 1368 01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:31,596 Go ahead, my lady. 1369 01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:37,307 # I'll be there to help 1370 01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:39,232 # Oh, yeah 1371 01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:43,605 # And when you're giving up 1372 01:14:45,815 --> 01:14:50,537 # Just know you're always loved 1373 01:14:53,698 --> 01:14:56,245 # You're always loved # 1374 01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:59,123 Hey, I'm sorry about tonight. 1375 01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,499 I was being such a bitch. 1376 01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:01,922 I can't believe I... 1377 01:15:05,710 --> 01:15:07,212 I accept your apology. 1378 01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:18,556 God, he's so fat. 1379 01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:21,563 - Anyway, cheers, mate. - Cheers. 1380 01:15:23,477 --> 01:15:24,854 You were a hero out there. 1381 01:15:26,814 --> 01:15:28,942 - Thanks. - I made you a new note. 1382 01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:56,477 Tabitha, have you met my new best friend? 1383 01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:00,356 Hi, Tabitha. 1384 01:16:02,183 --> 01:16:03,526 I'll be right back. 1385 01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:08,857 That color doesn't look good on you. 1386 01:16:09,065 --> 01:16:10,408 Oh, really? 1387 01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:17,577 Scarlett? 1388 01:16:18,741 --> 01:16:20,118 It's me, Duncan. 1389 01:16:22,078 --> 01:16:24,333 You were my sex teacher this morning. 1390 01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:27,257 Oh, my God. Hey, you. 1391 01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:29,380 What are you doing here? 1392 01:16:29,460 --> 01:16:31,133 I'm Tucker's sister. 1393 01:16:31,796 --> 01:16:32,842 Oh, wow. 1394 01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:35,141 I'm so sorry. 1395 01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:37,179 Don't worry about it. He had it coming for him. 1396 01:16:37,259 --> 01:16:38,431 He's a total dick. 1397 01:16:40,346 --> 01:16:44,101 You're so much more beautiful in real life. 1398 01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:45,901 Thanks. 1399 01:16:50,356 --> 01:16:52,575 I'm really sorry I cut our session short. 1400 01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:55,698 I know it sounds kinda weird, 1401 01:16:55,778 --> 01:16:57,951 but I was kinda turned on by what you were doing to the doll. 1402 01:16:59,990 --> 01:17:02,664 Do you wanna finish up the lesson in my room? 1403 01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,587 I would love nothing more. 1404 01:17:06,580 --> 01:17:07,547 Come on. 1405 01:17:32,690 --> 01:17:33,691 Wait. 1406 01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:36,485 I've got something I need to tell you. 1407 01:17:37,361 --> 01:17:39,534 What? You're a virgin? 1408 01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:41,491 How did you know? 1409 01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:44,167 I could tell. 1410 01:17:49,540 --> 01:17:50,507 Boober? 1411 01:17:52,626 --> 01:17:53,969 I can help you out with that. 1412 01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:01,135 Take off your fucking clothes. 1413 01:18:01,427 --> 01:18:02,770 Yes, ma'am. 1414 01:18:10,561 --> 01:18:11,562 Mmm. 1415 01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:13,022 You wanna learn about sex? 1416 01:18:14,565 --> 01:18:17,865 I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know tonight. 1417 01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:21,702 Teach me everything. 1418 01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:24,658 You'll always remember your first time. 1419 01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:30,540 God bless America. 1420 01:18:35,419 --> 01:18:37,508 We're not virgins any more! 1421 01:18:37,588 --> 01:18:38,759 This is what we do. 1422 01:18:38,839 --> 01:18:40,678 South Africa and England. 1423 01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:44,012 - We go in your country and take your women. - Whoo! 1424 01:18:49,850 --> 01:18:53,024 Boys, where have you been? Your flight leaves in two hours. 1425 01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:55,861 I tried both your cells, straight to voice-mail. 1426 01:18:56,273 --> 01:18:59,322 Sorry. Things got really, really crazy. 1427 01:18:59,860 --> 01:19:01,362 Were you guys at Tucker's party? 1428 01:19:01,445 --> 01:19:02,788 Go to your room, God damn it. 1429 01:19:05,115 --> 01:19:06,367 All right, guys, you need to go pack your bags 1430 01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:07,542 'cause we have to leave now. 1431 01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:10,916 Oh, but, Jack, did you end up hooking up with Kaylee? 1432 01:19:10,996 --> 01:19:12,748 Because all the moms are gonna wanna know. 1433 01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:14,963 She told me not to tell. 1434 01:19:16,085 --> 01:19:17,962 Yeah, I fucked Tucker's sister. 1435 01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:19,927 Okay, didn't need to know that. 1436 01:19:20,047 --> 01:19:22,391 All right, hurry up, go, go. 1437 01:19:25,803 --> 01:19:27,391 We should have sex tonight. 1438 01:19:27,471 --> 01:19:28,643 Jesus, Lisa, stop it. 1439 01:19:33,352 --> 01:19:34,604 So I guess this is it. 1440 01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,198 Dude, come visit me in London sometime. 1441 01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:39,651 Only if we get kidnapped and have an orgy. 1442 01:19:41,151 --> 01:19:42,323 Good times. 1443 01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:46,122 I love you. 1444 01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,783 Love you, too, man. 1445 01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:51,792 Oh, yeah, don't forget about this. 1446 01:19:53,414 --> 01:19:54,415 My phone. 1447 01:19:54,498 --> 01:19:56,592 I took it from Goose after Tucker knocked him out. 1448 01:19:57,167 --> 01:19:59,010 You, sir, are a legend. 1449 01:20:00,337 --> 01:20:01,805 Kaylee sent you some nudes, by the way. 1450 01:20:02,298 --> 01:20:03,260 What? 1451 01:20:03,340 --> 01:20:04,307 I'm only kidding. 1452 01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:08,596 Kaylee said she's gonna come visit me this summer. 1453 01:20:08,679 --> 01:20:09,976 Scarlett said she's gonna give me 1454 01:20:10,097 --> 01:20:11,690 free sex lessons when I get back. 1455 01:20:12,266 --> 01:20:14,234 - You deserve those. - Thanks, man. 1456 01:20:14,601 --> 01:20:17,024 Let me know where you're going for college, by the way. 1457 01:20:17,104 --> 01:20:18,151 I'm thinking about studying abroad. 1458 01:20:18,605 --> 01:20:19,606 Fuck yeah. 1459 01:20:48,218 --> 01:20:50,016 You're in, you're in. Come on, go, go. 1460 01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:53,148 - Fuck! Fuck! - Yeah. Yeah. 1461 01:20:53,265 --> 01:20:55,063 - Shit. - Wait. Wait. 1462 01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:01,569 Did you just come? 1463 01:21:01,899 --> 01:21:03,242 Yeah. 1464 01:21:03,567 --> 01:21:04,613 Oh. 1465 01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:05,694 Okay. 1466 01:21:23,170 --> 01:21:25,138 I'm fucking with you. 1467 01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:36,225 I've totally fucked up my lines! 1468 01:21:37,601 --> 01:21:38,773 Where's your black friend? 1469 01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:40,692 The one that looks like Whoopi Goldberg? 1470 01:21:43,482 --> 01:21:44,654 Whoopi Goldberg... 1471 01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:46,868 # I got a big dick # 1472 01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:56,999 "Sorry, I can't make it today. 1473 01:21:57,079 --> 01:22:01,710 "I'm too much of a pussy to go meet some blind niggas." 1474 01:22:03,836 --> 01:22:06,508 You always say that. You're not gay, but you'd fuck a guy. 1475 01:22:06,588 --> 01:22:08,932 I know. No condom either, you know. 1476 01:22:09,049 --> 01:22:10,016 Oh, look. 1477 01:22:12,803 --> 01:22:14,641 You were so heroic out there. 1478 01:22:25,441 --> 01:22:27,237 Who my pookie bear? 1479 01:22:27,317 --> 01:22:28,284 I am. 1480 01:22:30,487 --> 01:22:31,488 Yes. 1481 01:22:36,660 --> 01:22:38,412 Oh, fuck, my head. 1482 01:22:38,495 --> 01:22:39,963 Watch where you're going. 1483 01:22:40,581 --> 01:22:43,255 I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know... 1484 01:22:45,794 --> 01:22:48,138 Okay, really? Really? 1485 01:22:48,881 --> 01:22:51,304 I'm fucking with you again. 1486 01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:54,303 Uh-oh! 1487 01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:07,441 Shit, cunt. 1488 01:23:07,816 --> 01:23:11,662 And let's just say, only one of us left that swamp alive. 1489 01:23:11,778 --> 01:23:13,075 Somebody left that door open, 1490 01:23:13,155 --> 01:23:15,283 so you can just go on in, go ahead now. 1491 01:23:15,365 --> 01:23:17,367 That was good times. Have fun, Shalonda. 1492 01:23:22,039 --> 01:23:23,757 Yes! 1493 01:23:25,167 --> 01:23:26,885 You took so fucking long... 1494 01:23:33,967 --> 01:23:35,264 Okay, go do your thing. 1495 01:23:36,637 --> 01:23:38,014 That's my ride. 1496 01:23:38,514 --> 01:23:39,726 I'm just gonna hop on it. 1497 01:23:39,806 --> 01:23:40,853 That's what she said. 1498 01:23:41,141 --> 01:23:43,564 You think you're Superman 'cause you look like Brandon... 1499 01:23:44,269 --> 01:23:45,316 Do it again. 1500 01:23:47,856 --> 01:23:49,699 That hurt so bad. 1501 01:23:51,568 --> 01:23:54,037 Chef Nelson's or whatever the fuck it's called. 1502 01:23:54,404 --> 01:23:56,873 Uh, Chef Nelson's. He's got a restaurant. 1503 01:23:56,990 --> 01:23:58,367 The crab shack. 1504 01:23:59,034 --> 01:24:01,036 Yeah. 1505 01:24:02,371 --> 01:24:04,668 Imagine getting tag-teamed by those two. 1506 01:24:04,748 --> 01:24:07,251 - I totally have. Huh? What? - What? 1507 01:24:07,376 --> 01:24:09,549 Suck my balls, suck my balls, 1508 01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:11,008 suck my balls... 1509 01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:13,386 All right, this is the one. 1510 01:24:13,674 --> 01:24:16,348 Suck my balls, my balls. 1511 01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:19,388 Oh, fuck. Sorry! 1512 01:24:20,389 --> 01:24:23,353 Oh, there's an old saying, "You open up the sleeping dragon, 1513 01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,606 "he might have sex with your mouth." Okay? 1514 01:24:26,270 --> 01:24:27,442 Hey, calm down, guys. 1515 01:24:29,064 --> 01:24:30,236 Hey we go, guys. 1516 01:24:32,776 --> 01:24:34,028 For fuck's sake! 1517 01:24:34,111 --> 01:24:37,075 - I don't know what to say. - I don't know what to say to him. 1518 01:24:38,740 --> 01:24:39,707 Action. 1519 01:24:40,450 --> 01:24:42,452 Oh, my... 1520 01:24:45,455 --> 01:24:47,169 - What's funny? - I don't know. 1521 01:24:47,249 --> 01:24:48,876 Everyone wants to go home, buddy. 1521 01:24:49,305 --> 01:24:55,447 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org