1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM 2 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:46,512 Santa you know, you keep staring, you better give her a tip. 3 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,248 This ain't no free peep show. 4 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:49,248 Mother hey! 5 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:49,248 Santa you know what that means. 6 00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,587 Santa course you can take a picture with Santa 7 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,557 just go tell mom it's gonna cost twenty bucks. 8 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,329 Tara welcome to Mr. beavers. 9 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,199 Shopper idiot, watch where you're going. 10 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,668 Cashier welcome to Mr. beavers 11 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,175 [door bell rings welcome to Mr. beavers 12 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,349 what? 13 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,088 Pictures with Santa's over there. 14 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:33,358 Dave oh, no. I'm Dave. 15 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,431 I'm starting tonight. 16 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,400 Are you asking me or are you telling me? 17 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,636 I'm supposed to meet Jack. 18 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,638 Try the vending machines. 19 00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,508 Okay. 20 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,710 Is it... 21 00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,452 Female newscaster ho, ho, hold your horse gift givers. There's still time 22 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,322 to buy presents with many retailers staying open late 23 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,625 on Christmas Eve to cash in on last minute shoppers. 24 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:11,230 Male newscaster speaking of cashing in, police are looking for two men who 25 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,265 robbed an armored car this afternoon. 26 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:16,335 Male newscaster police say these men are armed and dangerous. 27 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,371 Anyone with information on the so called Santa hat bandits 28 00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:22,407 is urged to contact the crime stoppers hotline. 29 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,542 Jack ahhhhhh! 30 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:32,284 Jack ah! Ah! 31 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:38,323 Jack what do you want? 32 00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:40,592 Pictures with Santa's out there. 33 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:43,195 Dave uh no, umm, I'm Dave. 34 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:50,235 I start work here tonight. 35 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,372 Oh, hey, Jack. 36 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,174 Sorry buddy. 37 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:55,174 Right. 38 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:58,911 I get a little, little upset when I don't get my fritter. 39 00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:00,245 Dave right. 40 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,481 And this machine... Just like my ex. 41 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,417 Jack took my money and didn't give me no pie. 42 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:05,417 Huh. 43 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,953 These things are gonna be the death of me anyway. 44 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,288 You want something? 45 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,390 No I'm, I'm good thank you. 46 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:14,193 You're good? They make you start on Christmas Eve 47 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,461 because shit fucker Mitch bails on us and you're good? 48 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,664 Well the bills have been pilling up right. What can I do? 49 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,532 Tell them go fuck themselves man. 50 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,401 That's what i would have done. 51 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,736 Man fuck this place. This place sucks. 52 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,941 Aren't you the assistant manager? 53 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,609 Oh yeah man, I am. 54 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,545 But I'm just here for the money. 55 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,482 I come here every day, every single day. 56 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,319 Ready to blow my fucking brains out. 57 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:44,723 I even got a special bullet picked out just for the job. 58 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,625 Hollow point. 59 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,795 I'm just messin' with you man. 60 00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,238 Over here's Tara. 61 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:00,405 Yo' Tara... 62 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:01,807 Jack Tara... 63 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:02,407 What? 64 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,644 This is Dave. The new guy. 65 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:08,780 We already met, 66 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:13,252 in a near glorious moment at this very register. 67 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,255 Don't be a bitch tera. It's his first night. 68 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,457 Save it till we're sure he's staying, 69 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,459 then do the queen super bitch thing. 70 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:24,596 Whatever. 71 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,864 Dave what are you reading. 72 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:29,735 Oh, it's really good. It's called, um, 73 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:33,672 none of your fucking business by leave me the fuck alone. 74 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:34,606 Ever heard of it? 75 00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,343 I stopped going to school 76 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:42,281 like after two years. I mean i want to be an actress so what 77 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:45,484 good is like math and science and Greek theater anyway? 78 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:45,484 You know? 79 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:50,289 And then I got diagnosed with anxiety disorder so 80 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:54,393 I had to start taking Xanax, like, a lot. And 81 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,394 that kept me from going back to school. 82 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,398 Jack she can't help it, being a bitch and all. 83 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,566 She's got like some chick disease in her 'wawa' 84 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,834 Jack takes pills and shit. 85 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:06,738 Dave I'm sorry did you say a chick disease in her wawa? 86 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,707 What does that mean? 87 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:11,743 Totes don't know bro, just what I heard. 88 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,346 Hmm. I mean I fucked her and I'm alright. 89 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:17,449 Oh, do you guys have health insurance? 90 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,719 Because my script kind of ran out and, 91 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:24,523 I would totally blow someone for a Xanax right now. 92 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,330 Okay. 93 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:42,474 Jack no. No, no, no. No cell phones allowed in the store man. 94 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,809 Boss man will take that from you lickity split 95 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:44,876 if he finds you with it. 96 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:45,844 Seriously? 97 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:49,848 We had uh, an incident here,not too long ago. 98 00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,852 We call it the uh, "great Mr. beavers iPhone fuck up" 99 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,555 basically it involved somebody, won't name names, 100 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,424 takin' a shit in a display toilet, 101 00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:02,627 snap a cell phone picture. Bamm! Instagram, Twitter, 102 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,530 hashtag Mr. beaver's display toilet hell. 103 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:05,530 Went viral; Got like a million hits. 104 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:09,901 Anyway, corporate found out, they yanked our cell phones. 105 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:11,703 That's... that's horrible. 106 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,840 I know right. What right does that give them to 107 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,441 yank our cell phone privileges 108 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:17,876 fucking fascist man. 109 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,712 What no, no, no. Someone actually took a shit, 110 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,714 in this display toilet. 111 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,384 Dude, yeah that happens like three times a week. 112 00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:30,622 No seriously, little kids, the homeless, elderly people. 113 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,924 I've even dropped a deuce in it before. 114 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,794 You take a shit in the store? 115 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,731 Not our toilets. I'm talkin' like lowes, or home depot 116 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,135 no. No I was not fired from home depot. 117 00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,003 Okay, who told you that? O'tooney? He's full of shit. 118 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:49,608 I left on my own volition to pursue other opportunities. 119 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,713 Look I was falsely accused of shitting in a display toilet. 120 00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,949 That's it. I left on my own. It had nothing to do with that. 121 00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,522 Boss hired a rent-a-clause for Christmas. Barbie was my idea. 122 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,626 Dave she seems a little under dressed for Christmas. 123 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,694 Jack oh, yeah. 124 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,802 Santa ho, ho, ho 125 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:16,802 here comes Santa 126 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:21,706 now, why don't you be a good girl... I'd like to give her a kiss on her camel toe. 127 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:22,941 Jack you're hired. 128 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,177 Barbie what really I got the job? 129 00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,446 Oh my god I'm so excited. 130 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,748 When do I start? I want to start right now. 131 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,650 Yaay... wait! 132 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:31,650 Hold up pal... 133 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:35,854 Do I get to keep my tips or do i have to split them with Santa? 134 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:36,922 Jack you can keep the tip. 135 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,228 Yo, black Jack. 136 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,796 Black Jack what the fuck do you want man? 137 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,598 Jack this here's Jackson Porter 138 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,533 we call him black Jack because... 139 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,535 Obviously... 140 00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,204 Can you believe this is the assistant manager? 141 00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:52,204 He thinks he's really clever. What are you 142 00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:55,941 writing in your book? Some of your wack black Jack raps? 143 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,076 Man fuck you white bread. 144 00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,946 I'll slit yo' damn throat. 145 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,915 Whatever man yeah I'm good with all that. That's no problem 146 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,952 cause I'm so big and strong, but i ain't yo' house nigga though. 147 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:10,222 A'ight so don't be puttin me on that heavy liftin and shit 148 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:10,222 all the damn time. 149 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:12,924 That's what I did at the other fucking store 150 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,526 and I didn't come here to do that shit. 151 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,695 No lackey work for me. 152 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,665 Get ya' own nigga for that shit. You know what I'm sayin'? 153 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,801 Dave so he's a writer? 154 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,605 Jack what because of his scribble pad? No. 155 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,673 He's writin'' his ghetto ass gansta' life 156 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,242 prison logic in there. 157 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:32,711 You don't know that he could be working on a book 158 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,713 or some poetry. 159 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:35,981 And besides, if he rips you like that, 160 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,249 why don't you guys just fire him? 161 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,984 Because our manager, Mr. kipper, 162 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,986 is the biggest most pathetic pussy 163 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:44,089 in the entire history of big pussies ever. 164 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,558 And he's terrified of that black bastard. 165 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,827 In fact I'm pretty sure he's terrified of all the coloreds. 166 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:52,931 Oh I uh, don't think we refer to them as that anymore. 167 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,033 We do here. 168 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,535 Mr. kipper we do here what? 169 00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:01,907 Mr. kipper? Ha, ha, oh! 170 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:04,943 I was just tellin' the new guy here what a tight ship you run. 171 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:08,780 Oh, well then please. Keep talking. 172 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,286 Uh Dave, uh barns, welcome aboard. 173 00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:18,023 It's so good to have you on my tight little ship. 174 00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,993 Uh Jack, once you've shown him around, 175 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,895 send him up to the office alright. 176 00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:26,164 There it is. 177 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:31,169 Oh my god dude, how gay was that? 178 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,305 In, in what way? 179 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:35,740 I don't mean gay like offensively gay. 180 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,842 I mean gay like he wants to 181 00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:39,911 lick the perspiration off your ass hole gay. 182 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,113 Oh. Uh, the real gay way. Yeah no I got it. 183 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,251 Jack! 184 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,788 Otto did you leave those fritter wrappers by that paint can 185 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,656 that spilled all over the filling cabinet? Yes or no boy. 186 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,692 Jack uh no man, of course not. 187 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,027 My weaknesses? 188 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,929 What in the hell kind of question is that? 189 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:01,032 Are you talkin about my disability caused by some 190 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,969 fucking towel head who shot an rpg up my ass during my fourth 191 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,805 combat mission killing no good cock suckin' camel fuckin' 192 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,940 terrorist in Iraq while you were in college 193 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,076 suckin' off your liberal no good hippie professor 194 00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,744 at your communist lovin' college 195 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:15,080 in upstate my daddy's a rich prick bought me a Porsche 196 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,682 can't afford to pay his taxes that would fund the fuckin' 197 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,851 veteran's hospital that would fix my leg so I could 198 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,753 kick you in your fuckin' teeth right now? 199 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,355 That disability? 200 00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:23,355 Hey this is Dave, the new guy. 201 00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:28,026 Dave this is Otto, he's our store... maintenance guy. 202 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,794 New soldier huh? 203 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,931 You look good son. Fit, I like that. 204 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,634 I'm the tactical maintenance team leader which means 205 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:38,637 I extract and destroy all the shit these dickwads leave behind 206 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,772 every time they traipse through my store. 207 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:41,906 What? What are you laughing at boy? 208 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,842 That funny? That funny to you? 209 00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:45,977 You like dumpin' paint toxins all over the place? 210 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,780 The same brain degenerating paint toxins that bin ladin 211 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,849 dumped on my ass back in 2005 212 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:53,385 after I killed his herd of goats he liked to fuck. Huh? 213 00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:55,053 That's why I'm blind in one eye boy. 214 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,856 Sorry... about the blindness and all. 215 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,858 We got some important orientation stuff to do, 216 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,092 so if you'll excuse us. 217 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,662 Oh do you? Do you? So we're just... 218 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:03,662 Do you? Yeah. 219 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,731 Well you make sure this dumb fuck right here 220 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,967 that he knows the difference between methyl butyl hexane 221 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,136 two and six because what I bet your dumb ass doesn't know, 222 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:14,205 is it is easily confused for dichlor ethane 223 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,809 which is what I used on Saddam when I water boarded his ass. 224 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,913 Made his dick fall off. Who's laughin now fucks? 225 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:27,052 Who's laughin now? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 226 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,754 I think that guy's got a serious case of PTSD. 227 00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:33,892 How bout you say thank you soldier, god bless America? 228 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,828 And tell me when i fuckin' start. 229 00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:42,067 This is the hydraulic crane. 230 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:47,172 Do not tough the hydraulic crane until you get certified. Ever. 231 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,741 Wow. This thing is awesome. 232 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:53,044 This thing is like a deadly weapon around here. 233 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,247 Alright. I- osha takes this shit serious. 234 00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,283 I take this shit serious. 235 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,086 Okay, you touch this without getting certified. 236 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,321 You get fired. Or killed. 237 00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,724 Crushed to death before you even know what happened. 238 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,861 I'm for real man. Big time danger. 239 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,797 Dude lost an arm first time I was here. 240 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:12,797 Who? 241 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:17,035 Kipper fuckin freaks out over this thing 16 times a day. 242 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,903 Ah! 243 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,976 Dave where are we going? 244 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,911 Jack up to see the boss. 245 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:44,129 Hey, are you cool? 246 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,865 About the elevator? 247 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,833 No man are you cool cool 248 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,034 what do you mean? 249 00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,269 Do you do weed? 250 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,205 I've done some landscaping 251 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,974 no man pot. 252 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:55,974 No, no, no, no. 253 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,077 You're gonna have to start if you want to be cool here. 254 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,282 Jack shhh! Where are you going? 255 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,785 Follow me. Come on. 256 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:28,206 Dave what is this? 257 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:32,010 Old crawl space. No body knows its up here. 258 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,182 Pharms, you up here? 259 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,362 Jack this is Dave, the new guy. 260 00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,004 Dave oh, no, I'm good thank you. 261 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,841 Pharms marijuana is the only way to escape 262 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,343 the drudgery of this place. 263 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,312 Plus this is some real good sinsemilla. 264 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,580 What's this one? 265 00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,248 Oh. Its a new mix I'm working on. 266 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,918 I call it sour purple turbo. 267 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,286 Oh yeah. Try it. 268 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,197 Keep it down, he'll hear you. 269 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,298 Arms up. Up in the air. 270 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:33,204 Pharms it's, uh, tetrahydrocannabinol and diacetylmorphine. 271 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,272 Basically weed and heroin. 272 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,376 Pharms party foul. 273 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,313 Sorry. 274 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,915 Don't apologize to me. 275 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:48,253 What is that? 276 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,054 Pharms bucky the beaver. 277 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,389 Our idol. 278 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,391 I liberated him from the corporate office 279 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,426 on a peyote induced vision quest. 280 00:14:56,362 --> 00:15:00,098 Now he resides here, watching over and protecting us. 281 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,967 We do not offend bucky. 282 00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,136 So any party foul committed in his presence 283 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,905 must be apologized for. 284 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:07,906 Jack alright. 285 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,107 And penance paid. 286 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:12,644 I was gonna get a fritter later. 287 00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:17,382 We offer to bucky so he may forgive us our party fouls. 288 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,985 And shield us from our misery and torment. 289 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:24,422 Sorry bucky. 290 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:29,260 Dave guys, if its so miserable here, why don't you just quit? 291 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,995 I figure kipper's only gonna' last so long 292 00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:32,931 before he gets fired for soliciting sex from 293 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,432 underaged boys online. 294 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,034 Then they'll make me manager. 295 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:39,170 He has sex with underaged boys, here? 296 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,272 I don't know, it's just a theory. 297 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,541 I keep watching that to catch a predator show waitin to see him. 298 00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:47,278 I get to experiment with chemicals all day. 299 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,148 Do you have any idea, the street value of this stuff? 300 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:51,182 Do I use illegal drugs now? 301 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,385 Do you mean illegal federally or more on a state level? 302 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:54,385 Because I can take the drug test 303 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,189 I would just need about thirty days to you know study for it. 304 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:03,027 Mr. kipper Jack will show you the ropes. He's my second in command. 305 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:06,297 You'll see we have a strong mutual respect for each other. 306 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:13,271 I run a good, solid crew here. 307 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,107 Otto, the two Jacks, terra. 308 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:20,745 She used to have a bit of a substance abuse issue. 309 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:25,717 But, I'm happy to say, we nipped that problem in the bud. 310 00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:28,186 Now she's a model employee. 311 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,255 We're a team. We help each other. 312 00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:34,325 So I need you to do somethin' for me. 313 00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,428 Relax kiddo. 314 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:40,131 I just need to get your measurements. 315 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,034 Let's start with your shirt and penis size. 316 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:43,034 I'm sorry what? 317 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:47,438 Uh, pants size. Sorry. Damn auto correct. 318 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,008 So how big are you? 319 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,443 Pants. And shirt. 320 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:57,248 Oh, um, thirty four long. Uh, medium shirt maybe. 321 00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,084 Ah, Dave. 322 00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:02,754 We need to look our best around here. 323 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:06,457 So we need exact specifications for our uniforms. 324 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,259 It's no big deal. 325 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:12,463 I'll just take your measurements on your shoulder. 326 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,034 And let me know if I make you feel uncomfortable in any way. 327 00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,169 Dave okay. 328 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,238 Mr. kipper Dave, you're so tense. 329 00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,307 It's, uh, first day jitters. I'm a little nervous. 330 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,276 Mr. kipper oh, no need for that. 331 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:29,113 Just think of me as your friendly uncle. 332 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:33,384 So you're thirty four in slack. No jeans? Because I can measure. 333 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,119 No, nope I'm good I got it yeah. 334 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,354 Okay. Alright then. 335 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,488 Oh. Cell phone. 336 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,824 You'll need to check that in with me. 337 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,325 Come on, whip it out. 338 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,094 Come on get that out. Come on. 339 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,363 Thank you. 340 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,132 Mr. kipper there's nothing to worry about. 341 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:54,338 It's safe in here, and no one can steal it. 342 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,240 See. 343 00:17:56,242 --> 00:18:00,111 Oh and no one's gonna look through it for any 344 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,313 sexting pictures you may have left on it. Huh? 345 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,416 I, uh... Ha ha ha, come on. 346 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,252 Mr. kipper oh, uh I need you to go downstairs and 347 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,288 move a tool crib on aisle 12. 348 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,556 Get someone to help you down there. Alight. 349 00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:15,159 First assignment. Go on... yeah. 350 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:35,613 Black Jack damn I think the wheels are stuck. 351 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,681 Dave lift it. 352 00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:41,319 Shit! 353 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,487 Fuckin' thing is heavy. 354 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:43,521 It's the heaviest thing I've ever lifted. 355 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:44,522 Fuck! 356 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,390 Mr. kipper ummm... problem? 357 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:53,598 Kipper this thing's- is slippery. 358 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:53,598 What's the matter? 359 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,234 Fuck it. Man I'll tell you bout it later. 360 00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:58,503 Okay? 361 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,208 Jack, assistance on aisle 12. 362 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,377 This is your ship's captain speaking. 363 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,679 Mr. - ah, yeah. 364 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:09,747 Mr. kipper you take that end. 365 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,217 Dave if you get on bottom, I'll be on top. 366 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,730 Mr. kipper oh. Ah. Alright somethin' funny is goin' on here. 367 00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,232 Maybe we should open that darn thing up. 368 00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:29,233 What's the matter? 369 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,670 We'll see? Theft perhaps. 370 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:45,449 What? 371 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,322 Mr. kipper do any of you know this gentleman? 372 00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:58,930 Sir, are you okay? 373 00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:03,568 I think he's dead, Mr. kipper 374 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,270 Jack, could you please gather everyone together 375 00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,406 for an impromptu store meeting. Thank you very much. 376 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,412 Your attention please. 377 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,747 All employees report to aisle 12. 378 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,583 That's the flooring aisle... 379 00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:20,651 The one with the dead body... 380 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:28,659 Jack wonder what's in the bag. 381 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,760 Black Jack don't touch it man. 382 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,462 Why not? 383 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:31,462 Black Jack look when the cops get here 384 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:35,466 they need this place un-fucked with. Don't touch it. 385 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,002 I can un-zip the bag enough that it won't fuck it all up. 386 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,771 Okay smart ass. When the cops get here, be sure and tell them 387 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,740 that I said not to touch anything. 388 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,675 Black Jack go ahead. 389 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,344 Whatever. New guy, grab it. 390 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:47,678 Dave what? I'm not touchin' that thing. 391 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,248 Jack why not he's dead. He's not gonna grab you. 392 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:50,248 Jack get it. 393 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:53,651 Fine. 394 00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:56,520 Ah! 395 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:56,520 Jack scary... 396 00:20:56,522 --> 00:21:00,324 Hey! You do not laugh at assistant management. 397 00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:01,392 Uh.. 398 00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,602 Jack oh! 399 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,803 Merry Christmas. 400 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,472 Black Jack oh shit. 401 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:15,773 Jack Christmas black Jack no, no, no... 402 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,742 Put that shit back man. Zip this bitch back up. 403 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,010 Put this shit back. 404 00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:21,379 Hey man, put this shit back and close this up. 405 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,014 Put it back. Put it back. Put it back. Put it back. 406 00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:24,315 Put it back! 407 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,716 You see how much is here? 408 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,285 Put this shit back. Open it up. 409 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:27,285 Black Jack this is not some good shit. You mother fuckers sittin here 410 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:31,722 laughin and shit like it's Christmas time. 411 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,823 Jack this is great. 412 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,825 Fuck. In what book? This ain't good. 413 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:38,429 Oh Jesus. 414 00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,299 Otto sit rep boys. 415 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,601 Dave i don't know what aisle they have the chairs in. 416 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,470 Otto situation report asshole. 417 00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,773 Oh lord Jesus. Man down. Man down. 418 00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:50,641 Man down. Medical, medic on aisle 12. 419 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,777 Medic on aisle 12, medic,medic. We need a medic over here. 420 00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,045 Yeah we figured it out Otto. He's dead. 421 00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:55,846 This man is dead when i say he is dead son. 422 00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:58,449 This man's dead. 423 00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:01,752 Otto who the fuck is he? 424 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:03,688 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 425 00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:05,389 Well where's kipper? 426 00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:05,389 I don't know. 427 00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:08,793 Black Jack i tell you what. I'm callin' the cops. 428 00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,861 Jack hey, hey, hey, not so fast my chocolate faced friend. 429 00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:12,396 Black Jack hey, motherfucker. 430 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:13,731 You say one more thing to me man 431 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,067 you will not be opening Christmas presents tomorrow. 432 00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:17,802 Otto Jackson, go get Mr. kipper. 433 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,804 We need everyone here right now. 434 00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,872 We need to keep this area centralized. 435 00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,775 We need to keep it contained and free of all contaminants. 436 00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:27,111 Who's the stiff? 437 00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:28,412 We don't know. 438 00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:33,384 Okay well, goodnight everyone. Merry Christmas. 439 00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:35,419 Happy hanukkah. Good kwanza. 440 00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:39,757 Stay right here pharms. You ain't goin' no where son. 441 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,959 It's nearly ten. I'm off. 442 00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,830 Consider it hazardous duty pay. 443 00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:46,897 Pfff. 444 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:54,438 Mr. kippler. Are you okay? 445 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,807 I'm fine. Drink? 446 00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:59,477 No man. I don't think you should be drinkin' right now. 447 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,445 The cops will be here in a little bit. 448 00:23:01,447 --> 00:23:02,913 I'm just a bit nervie. 449 00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:02,913 Black Jack look we all are. 450 00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:06,784 But we need to get back down stairs and get through this. 451 00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:11,555 Mr. kippler alright. 452 00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:17,461 Black Jack hey yo what the fuck are you doin'? 453 00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:18,763 Jack what? 454 00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:21,499 Black Jack the fuck you mean what? The money. I told you 455 00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:21,499 not to touch anything. 456 00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:23,901 Jack do you know how much is here? 457 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,870 Black Jack man I don't care how much is there. 458 00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,538 This ain't your shit to mess with man. The fuck 459 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:27,538 is wrong with you? 460 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:30,841 Hey this ain't kumbayah around here Dr. king. 461 00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:32,743 This money's ours for hte takin' 462 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:35,446 you mean to tell me you can't use some of this to 463 00:23:35,448 --> 00:23:36,547 get up out's the ghetto 464 00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,482 or maybe buy momma's a house? 465 00:23:38,484 --> 00:23:40,518 Santa i don't know that's a lot of fuckin' money. 466 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:41,886 Hey, just shut the fuck up Santa. 467 00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:43,621 Ain't nobody even talkin' to you. 468 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:45,856 Jack hey I don't know what crawled up your black ass Jack, 469 00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:49,727 but hear me now man, the money there for the takin' 470 00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:50,728 man fuck you. 471 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,763 Oh am I Jamaican you mad? 472 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:55,666 This money buy a lot of Spears in Africa. 473 00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:56,734 Bitch! 474 00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:00,438 Fuckin' retard. 475 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,773 Mr. kipper did you see that? 476 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:03,941 I think we all saw that. 477 00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:07,178 So fuckin' fire him. 478 00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,480 He punched me. 479 00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:16,654 Oh come on. He punched me in the face. I'm the assistant manager. 480 00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:19,790 The store's closed. You're off duty. 481 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,459 You okay Jack? 482 00:24:21,461 --> 00:24:24,628 Here throw some glue on that. Field dress it boy! 483 00:24:25,197 --> 00:24:26,831 I'm not okay. 484 00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:29,200 Okay, I got punched in the face. 485 00:24:29,202 --> 00:24:31,035 And you didn't do shit. 486 00:24:31,236 --> 00:24:34,705 You'll be sorry. You'll all be sorry. 487 00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:41,946 Hey look ya'll. Go ahead and get all the crazy ideas 488 00:24:41,948 --> 00:24:44,248 and shit out ya' head right now. 489 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:47,585 This money belongs to this dead dude, and we are not takin' it. 490 00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:50,654 Otto damn right. If the black guy ain't stealin' it, nobody is. 491 00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:53,691 I understand if some of you are uncomfortable with the situation 492 00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:56,994 so I'd like to offer you all the option of just going home. 493 00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:58,996 What the fuck. Sir you don't run from war. 494 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:02,233 Otto, it's Christmas Eve. We'll be here all night. 495 00:25:02,235 --> 00:25:04,034 I'll deal with the authorities myself. 496 00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:07,004 Negative one-fairy-bravo. We're stayin' right here. 497 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:09,006 Damn right we're stayin' here. Look Mr. kipper, 498 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:13,644 we are all involved. Everybody, we need to stay here. 499 00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:15,246 Pharms i see you eyein' the cash. 500 00:25:15,248 --> 00:25:16,814 Dave no I wasn't. 501 00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:18,616 I'm not. 502 00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:23,621 Sir. The infidels are already plotting. 503 00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:25,122 Pharms you wanna split the cash? 504 00:25:25,825 --> 00:25:30,628 I fuckin' hate all of you. Fuckers. 505 00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:34,965 The store is closed. Oh no! 506 00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:36,667 You're off duty. 507 00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:40,070 You're just gonna get punched in the face. 508 00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:44,775 You're the assistant manager but nobody fucking cares. 509 00:25:44,777 --> 00:25:46,777 Fuckin' hate you all. 510 00:25:57,756 --> 00:25:59,156 I may have to take steps. 511 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:02,927 I may have to take steps. 512 00:26:02,929 --> 00:26:05,729 Black Jack hey look, we need to call the cops. 513 00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,330 Says who? 514 00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:07,598 Says me. 515 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:08,899 He can't use that money now. 516 00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:11,969 I have tuition to pay. We can all split this up. 517 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:15,773 No. No we can't because this money doesn't belong to us. 518 00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:17,341 This money belongs to uncle Sam. 519 00:26:17,343 --> 00:26:19,810 Umm, I agree. I think we should split it. 520 00:26:19,812 --> 00:26:21,979 Look, I don't give a fuck how much you need the money. 521 00:26:21,981 --> 00:26:23,981 It's not yours bitch! 522 00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:26,850 I say we vote. 523 00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:29,053 Otto ain't no election. Ain't no damn vote. 524 00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:30,788 Santa i second the motion to vote. 525 00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:32,323 We said no vote. 526 00:26:32,325 --> 00:26:34,325 All in favor of keeping the money say aye. 527 00:26:34,327 --> 00:26:35,326 Aye. 528 00:26:35,328 --> 00:26:35,326 Aye. 529 00:26:35,328 --> 00:26:38,996 Otto damn kids and your occupy nonsense. 530 00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,632 Ain't no damn vote. Ain't no damn election. 531 00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:43,167 Ain't no damn team decision. 532 00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:43,667 Aye. 533 00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:48,372 Now hold up. All those opposed say nay. 534 00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:49,807 Black Jack nay. Otto nay. 535 00:26:49,809 --> 00:26:51,008 Nay. 536 00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:54,745 What? 537 00:26:54,747 --> 00:26:55,946 Tara aye or nay? 538 00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:58,115 Mr. kipper oh, nay, nay. Nay. 539 00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,817 Well there you have it team stupid. 540 00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:02,753 Four to four. It's a damn tie. 541 00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:04,154 Jack i vote aye. 542 00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:08,092 Dave well that's definitely the tie breaker. 543 00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:10,761 Mr. kipper Jack. Where did you get that? 544 00:27:10,763 --> 00:27:13,163 Sporting goods. Aisle 7. It's on sale. 545 00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:15,366 Black Jack what the fuck are you doing dick head. 546 00:27:15,368 --> 00:27:16,867 I want an apology. 547 00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:19,737 Jack, just put that down. 548 00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:20,838 Barbie what is that? 549 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:21,839 Pharms a cross bow. 550 00:27:21,841 --> 00:27:23,941 Yeah like Daryl on walking dead. 551 00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:23,941 Barbie oh. 552 00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:27,111 Dave black Jack why don't you just apologize to him? 553 00:27:27,113 --> 00:27:29,980 Fuck that man. He should apologize to me. 554 00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:34,251 Pharms Jack. Were you just, you know, up? 555 00:27:34,253 --> 00:27:36,920 What? No. What d-? 556 00:27:37,889 --> 00:27:40,424 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 557 00:27:40,426 --> 00:27:40,424 What? What does that mean? Up? 558 00:27:40,426 --> 00:27:43,160 What does he, what does he mean. What do you mean? 559 00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:44,762 He's turbo charged. 560 00:27:45,030 --> 00:27:45,029 Shut up! 561 00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:50,000 Mr. kipper Jack. Are you on drugs? 562 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:50,934 You apologize. 563 00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:50,934 Black Jack no! 564 00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:52,936 Jack yes! Black Jack no! 565 00:27:52,938 --> 00:27:54,004 Jack yes. 566 00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,206 Please. 567 00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:56,206 Man I'm callin' your bluff. 568 00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:58,976 I don't think you're gonna do shit. 569 00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:00,110 Shoot me bitch. 570 00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:02,046 Black Jack fuck it Jack. Shoot me. 571 00:28:02,048 --> 00:28:03,080 Shoot me Jack. 572 00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:05,749 Jack ahhhh! 573 00:28:10,955 --> 00:28:12,089 Jack ah. 574 00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,924 Otto ah! 575 00:28:14,926 --> 00:28:19,229 Oh! Gun shot sweet Jesus somebody call Tim tebow. 576 00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,165 Mr. kipper medic! Man down. Man down! 577 00:28:21,167 --> 00:28:22,900 Oh my god I'm so sorry Otto. 578 00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:22,900 Otto are you okay? 579 00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,802 Do I fuckin' look okay? 580 00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:25,803 Why don't you pull it out. 581 00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:25,803 Don't! You leave me alone. 582 00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:28,739 Leave it alone you stupid son of a bitch. 583 00:28:28,741 --> 00:28:30,107 You leave a puncture wound. 584 00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:30,107 You leave a puncture wound. 585 00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:33,110 Well I didn't know that. How would I know that. 586 00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:34,812 I don't- I'm really really sorry. 587 00:28:34,814 --> 00:28:37,114 Otto oh you shut your fuckin' mouth you crying little girl. 588 00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:43,220 Dave shh. Santa ho, ho, ho. 589 00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:46,023 Merry fucking Christmas. 590 00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:50,260 Now okay, I know this is not the greatest timing but- 591 00:28:50,829 --> 00:28:52,463 here's how we're gonna' do things. 592 00:28:52,465 --> 00:28:52,463 Santa uh, uh, uh, 593 00:28:52,465 --> 00:28:57,000 back off. Or you're gonna go on Santa's naughty list. 594 00:28:58,103 --> 00:29:00,137 I will use this thing. 595 00:29:02,173 --> 00:29:03,273 Intentionally. 596 00:29:04,776 --> 00:29:08,245 Barbie baby. Grab the money. 597 00:29:10,782 --> 00:29:13,016 Black Jack hey what are you doin' you drunk fuck. 598 00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:16,186 Snata ha, ha. I'm tired of givin' presents. 599 00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:19,189 It's time for Santa to get some. 600 00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:20,791 What's this? 601 00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:24,228 I, I wouldn't touch that. It's a dye pack. 602 00:29:25,296 --> 00:29:26,797 Come, come, let me see that. 603 00:29:27,932 --> 00:29:28,999 Thank you. 604 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,203 Warning. Contents under extreme- 605 00:29:33,972 --> 00:29:34,972 Santa woah! 606 00:29:34,974 --> 00:29:36,874 Tara oh my god! 607 00:29:37,876 --> 00:29:37,875 Black Jack fuck! 608 00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:44,381 That is going to be one messy workman's comp claim. 609 00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:47,785 Jack, get the pap- 610 00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:50,788 Jack? 611 00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:56,894 Jack ladies and gentleman. Thank you for shopping at Mr. beavers. 612 00:29:56,896 --> 00:29:59,930 The store is now closed for the evening. 613 00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:02,900 However, none of us are leaving until we figure out what 614 00:30:02,902 --> 00:30:04,268 we're doing with all this great money. 615 00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:06,537 Anybody thinks otherwise. 616 00:30:06,539 --> 00:30:08,972 I locked the store. I set the alarms. 617 00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,874 And for your further inconvenience. 618 00:30:10,876 --> 00:30:12,276 I cut the phone lines. 619 00:30:12,278 --> 00:30:14,278 I'm kind of a little high right now. 620 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,981 And, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be fired in the morning for, 621 00:30:18,883 --> 00:30:23,053 a, smoking pot in the store, and uh, uh, 622 00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:26,023 2, shootin' Otto with a crossbow. 623 00:30:26,025 --> 00:30:28,091 But uh, I've decided, 624 00:30:30,895 --> 00:30:33,330 I'm not leavin' till I get that money. 625 00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:37,901 Where are our phones Mr. kipper. Are they still in your office? 626 00:30:37,903 --> 00:30:39,236 Oh there's a cell phone 627 00:30:39,238 --> 00:30:40,337 party goin' on right now in the 628 00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:40,337 shitter by the way. 629 00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:45,342 Now that my high is wearin' off, I'm startin to realize that 630 00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,578 whoever killed that guy in the box probably 631 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:49,246 wants that money too. 632 00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:53,250 And he'll probably kill us all for it. 633 00:30:54,385 --> 00:30:56,386 And if one of us is the killer. 634 00:30:58,223 --> 00:30:59,990 I just locked us in here with him. 635 00:31:02,927 --> 00:31:04,928 Folks. 636 00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:06,363 We have a situation here. 637 00:31:06,998 --> 00:31:07,898 Black Jack well no shit. 638 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:08,899 Otto he's loosin' it. 639 00:31:08,901 --> 00:31:10,000 Pharms he's trippin' hard. 640 00:31:10,002 --> 00:31:11,068 It's you. 641 00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:12,035 What? 642 00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:14,104 You did it. You killed him. 643 00:31:14,106 --> 00:31:16,073 The fuck are you talkin' about man? 644 00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:17,374 You didn't want Mr. kipper to help 645 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:19,076 and then you pretended it wasn't heavy. 646 00:31:19,078 --> 00:31:21,144 Come on man. It wasn't even like that. 647 00:31:21,146 --> 00:31:22,379 You said it was slippery. 648 00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:27,050 Look man. I didn't do t is shit. 649 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:29,119 I didn't even know this mother fucker was in there. 650 00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:29,119 Oh that's bull shit. 651 00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:32,422 I'm not shittin you. I didn't kill this dude. 652 00:31:33,024 --> 00:31:34,625 I don't even want the fuckin' money. 653 00:31:34,627 --> 00:31:36,894 But I can't let you all take it either. 654 00:31:39,163 --> 00:31:39,997 Why not? 655 00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:39,997 What you mean why not? 656 00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:44,635 If we take this money it looks like we killed this man. 657 00:31:44,637 --> 00:31:46,370 Black Jack and that's what the cops are gonnna' think. 658 00:31:46,372 --> 00:31:48,205 I want no part to that shit. 659 00:31:48,207 --> 00:31:48,205 Why didn't you tell me 660 00:31:48,207 --> 00:31:51,975 you suspected a possible employee theft Jackson. 661 00:31:51,977 --> 00:31:55,412 Black Jack Mr. kippler. Shut the fuck up. I didn't kill this man. 662 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,180 Now that's the end of that shit. 663 00:31:57,649 --> 00:31:59,249 Jackson, you're fired. 664 00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:00,984 Oh you got balls now? 665 00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:00,984 Pharms i don't know Jackson. 666 00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:05,255 You have a violent disposition. A quick temper. 667 00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,991 And of course you're black. The odds point to you. 668 00:32:07,993 --> 00:32:09,259 Shit the odds point to you. 669 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,261 The dope dealer holdin' a dangerous weapon 670 00:32:11,263 --> 00:32:12,396 pointin' at people and shit. 671 00:32:12,398 --> 00:32:14,197 Two to one says you did it. 672 00:32:14,199 --> 00:32:16,400 I'd say you're more two to one odds. I'm kind of three to one. 673 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:20,170 And I did not even use this. Jack did. 674 00:32:20,172 --> 00:32:22,673 I'd put even odds on him. 675 00:32:22,675 --> 00:32:24,541 We can't forget about the new guy, 676 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:29,246 I mean I'd say his squeaky clean ass four to one odds. 677 00:32:29,248 --> 00:32:30,414 I think he did it. 678 00:32:31,215 --> 00:32:32,349 Long shot odds on kipper. 679 00:32:33,318 --> 00:32:34,451 Ten to one? 680 00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:35,385 What about me? 681 00:32:37,356 --> 00:32:37,354 I could have done it. 682 00:32:37,356 --> 00:32:42,025 Dark horse. You're too fuckin stupid to kill somebody. 683 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,994 And put 'em in a damn box. 684 00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:45,996 Hundred to one odds says she did it. 685 00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:48,398 Fuck all of you. A hundred to one. 686 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,733 Alright. Last chance guys. 687 00:32:49,735 --> 00:32:52,035 We could split up this cash and disappear 688 00:32:52,037 --> 00:32:54,972 or this all can go the hard way, 689 00:32:54,974 --> 00:32:58,275 black Jack look man we can't do it like that. We just can't. 690 00:32:58,277 --> 00:33:01,712 Otto I'll do it. Damn store took my health insurance last year. 691 00:33:01,714 --> 00:33:03,513 Fuckin' Obama care. 692 00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:07,317 Now. Do you know how much this is gonna cost me. I men 693 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:10,020 where do I even fuckin go for arrow removal? 694 00:33:10,022 --> 00:33:11,321 Black Jack Otto, come on man. 695 00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:13,156 Oh you mind your business Mohamed. 696 00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:14,458 The fuck did you just call me? 697 00:33:14,460 --> 00:33:16,026 I'm appalled. 698 00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:19,129 No you're a closet homo. Are you in? 699 00:33:19,764 --> 00:33:21,131 Pharms you're fired. 700 00:33:21,133 --> 00:33:23,433 I don't think so. I quit. 701 00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:25,736 Tara umm you should let him fire you 702 00:33:25,738 --> 00:33:28,038 that way you can collect unemployment. 703 00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:33,443 Don't you all see. In this man's death we have a new life. 704 00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:35,145 All because of him. 705 00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:38,482 Bitch shut the fuck up. You screamed before we even saw him. 706 00:33:40,418 --> 00:33:40,417 What? 707 00:33:40,419 --> 00:33:43,353 Oh you know what I'm talkin' about. 708 00:33:43,454 --> 00:33:46,323 I screamed because I saw a body. 709 00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:47,557 Before we did? 710 00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:50,560 Okay- I di- 711 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:54,064 shut up. You did this. I didn't kill this guy. 712 00:33:54,066 --> 00:33:56,033 I've never even seen him before in my life. 713 00:33:57,502 --> 00:33:59,069 I'm stupid remember. 714 00:33:59,071 --> 00:34:01,371 Okay really. So where were you coming from then? 715 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:01,371 From the bathroom 716 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:05,342 where I was doing a line of coke off the toilet lid okay. 717 00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:08,645 Got anymore? No. 718 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,281 Mr. kipper Tara, you're fired. 719 00:34:11,283 --> 00:34:12,349 Uh! 720 00:34:13,084 --> 00:34:14,484 Someone help me find Jack. 721 00:34:14,486 --> 00:34:16,453 Pharms i know where he is. 722 00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:28,665 We'll see, assholes. 723 00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:30,567 We'll see. 724 00:34:43,614 --> 00:34:44,848 The drug lair. 725 00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:44,848 The what? 726 00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:44,848 Pharms how do you know about that? 727 00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:48,418 Black Jack see they got a secret room 728 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:49,553 where they're smokin' weed. 729 00:34:49,555 --> 00:34:52,122 Usin' store merchandise to build bongs. 730 00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:54,324 Some of that breakin' bad shit going on in here. 731 00:34:54,326 --> 00:34:57,461 What? No we don't. 732 00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,363 We do. 733 00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:02,866 Jack I'm back! 734 00:35:02,868 --> 00:35:05,368 Jack. We got the loot. We're splittin' the money. 735 00:35:05,370 --> 00:35:07,637 Black Jack hey that shit is not true. That ain't true. 736 00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:09,439 Who's ready to die. 737 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:13,643 Wait. Die? What is in that thing? 738 00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:13,643 Jack you should just calm down. 739 00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:18,348 Mr. kipper you're really close. Okay. I've got years 740 00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:21,485 of hostility built up towards you okay. So shut the fuck up. 741 00:35:22,587 --> 00:35:26,590 Pharms, you know that book we got. "The anarchists cookbook"? 742 00:35:26,592 --> 00:35:26,590 Yeah. 743 00:35:26,592 --> 00:35:31,461 You wouldn't believe what I made in here. All from that book. 744 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,330 All from stuff inside this store. 745 00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:33,330 You didn't take anything did you? 746 00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:37,501 Cause remember when we tried that synthetic mescaline recipe 747 00:35:37,503 --> 00:35:39,236 we hallucinated for like three days. 748 00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:41,505 No, no, the front part. The chemicals. 749 00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:44,641 Tara you told me you lost that book you asshole. 750 00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:48,378 Jack, what did you mix there? 751 00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:50,213 Oh, it's really cool. 752 00:35:50,215 --> 00:35:52,582 It's uh, hydrochloric acid. 753 00:35:54,185 --> 00:35:54,184 Drop that cross bow pharms. 754 00:35:56,621 --> 00:36:02,225 Tara hey, Jack. It's cool. We got the money. 755 00:36:02,227 --> 00:36:08,331 No Tara. It's not cool. It's not cool.Nothing's cool. 756 00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:11,902 I think I'm having a... A nervous breakdown. 757 00:36:11,904 --> 00:36:14,404 Of some kind.... 758 00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:18,642 Come on Jack. Relax. Remember. 759 00:36:18,644 --> 00:36:23,513 You're a sea man on my tight little ship. 760 00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:27,651 Whenever we, are at sea, all you can think about is me. 761 00:36:27,653 --> 00:36:30,453 Kipper. I think it's gonna be you. 762 00:36:30,621 --> 00:36:33,557 Otto Jack. You listen to me son. 763 00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:38,728 Now you got to be very careful with that acid that is a highly 764 00:36:38,730 --> 00:36:41,398 corrosive solvent. That is what I used 765 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,732 to assassinate Kim jong il. 766 00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:44,734 I know, I know. 767 00:36:46,237 --> 00:36:50,407 All I needed was styrofoam, and polyurethane, salt, 768 00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:54,578 and orange juice. Tara, sorry i drank your orange juice. 769 00:36:54,580 --> 00:36:54,578 That is okay. 770 00:36:54,580 --> 00:36:57,547 Pharms Jack, don't you want the money? 771 00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:58,715 Forget the money. 772 00:36:59,684 --> 00:37:01,551 I want revenge. 773 00:37:30,014 --> 00:37:31,548 Otto son of a bitch! 774 00:37:31,550 --> 00:37:35,485 Dave holy shit! Otto. Otto buddy are you okay? 775 00:37:35,487 --> 00:37:38,321 No I ain't okay cock sucker. You see the hole in my head. 776 00:37:38,323 --> 00:37:38,321 You see the hole in my head. Yeah. 777 00:37:38,323 --> 00:37:41,791 You can't clean that with a little bit of toothpaste. 778 00:37:43,794 --> 00:37:47,397 I don't think I'm comin' back from this one momma. 779 00:37:50,568 --> 00:37:51,735 Damn. Shit. 780 00:37:51,737 --> 00:37:52,869 Where's the money? 781 00:37:54,405 --> 00:37:56,373 Someone took it. 782 00:37:56,707 --> 00:37:58,742 Fuck you lookin' at me for? I didn't do it. 783 00:37:59,043 --> 00:38:00,310 It's gone? 784 00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:03,513 Who the fuck steals on Christmas Eve? 785 00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:06,616 Black Jack yeah pharmy. Where your Christmas spirit man? 786 00:38:07,318 --> 00:38:08,485 I'm Jewish! 787 00:38:11,322 --> 00:38:13,423 Dave well someone shot him. Who has a gun? 788 00:38:13,824 --> 00:38:14,891 Kipper. 789 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,694 Mr. kipper? 790 00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:20,397 Oh no! What now? 791 00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:22,465 My belly button ring fell out. 792 00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:23,767 Black Jack bitch are you fuckin' for real? 793 00:38:23,769 --> 00:38:25,669 Barbie it's too dark. I can't find it. 794 00:38:27,605 --> 00:38:28,772 No! Don't! 795 00:38:32,510 --> 00:38:34,577 Black Jack oh fuck! 796 00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,316 Dave how come nobody listens to me? 797 00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:42,519 Black Jack he look people. We gonna have to stick together. 798 00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:44,554 Shit is goin' real bad right now and 799 00:38:44,556 --> 00:38:46,389 everybody is guilty of somethin' 800 00:38:46,391 --> 00:38:47,657 Dave why should we stick with you? 801 00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,359 I still think you killed the first guy. 802 00:38:49,361 --> 00:38:52,329 Motherfucker I told you i didn't kill that dude man! 803 00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:53,430 Can you prove it? 804 00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:55,465 You can't prove a negative. 805 00:38:56,434 --> 00:38:58,802 Black Dave damn it. I'm a private investigator 806 00:38:59,503 --> 00:38:59,502 what? 807 00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:02,472 Yeah, I was hired by the corporation. 808 00:39:02,474 --> 00:39:03,773 I was told to come here and 809 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:06,509 and watch everybody for various reasons. Ah, shit. 810 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,678 Black Jack this place is considered a black hole. 811 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:08,678 What does that mean? Black hole? 812 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,815 You know. Shit goes in but nothin' comes out. 813 00:39:11,817 --> 00:39:14,384 'Cus everybody here is stealin. 814 00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:16,453 I mean everybody. 815 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:17,721 Tara who else knows. 816 00:39:18,389 --> 00:39:18,388 Mr. kipper? 817 00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:22,692 Hell no. He's the big fish in all this. 818 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:24,527 He's been embezzling for years. 819 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:27,364 That's why you wanted to call the cops earlier. 820 00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:31,935 Look. I have a job to do. Well fuck, least I had a job. 821 00:39:32,903 --> 00:39:35,538 So, you have a gun? 822 00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:39,843 Son. Pi's have gun in movies. 823 00:39:39,845 --> 00:39:41,578 I don't own a fuckin' gun. 824 00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:43,646 Mmhm. And why should we believe you? 825 00:39:43,648 --> 00:39:44,948 Yeah. Why? 826 00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:50,620 You know what. Read it smart guy. 827 00:39:55,459 --> 00:39:59,629 Dave December 6th, 8:30am, pharms smokes the marijuana 828 00:39:59,631 --> 00:40:01,464 on the loading docks. 829 00:40:01,466 --> 00:40:02,699 Mother fucker just read the thing. 830 00:40:02,701 --> 00:40:03,867 Man you got jokes and shit. 831 00:40:03,869 --> 00:40:05,535 I was just tryin' to paint the picture. 832 00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:07,137 Jeez I'm sorry. Black Jack ain't got time for that shit. 833 00:40:07,139 --> 00:40:08,938 Dave umm... December 6th, 8:30am 834 00:40:08,940 --> 00:40:11,608 pharms smokes marijuana on the loading dock 835 00:40:11,610 --> 00:40:15,912 9:17 am Tara fails to ring up merchandise at the checkout 836 00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:15,912 in exchange for pills. 837 00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:21,451 11:40 Mr. kipper pockets return receipts for theft purposes. 838 00:40:21,453 --> 00:40:24,621 Yeah there's a bunch of stuff that's written in here. 839 00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:26,890 Ya'll happy? 840 00:40:26,892 --> 00:40:31,761 I wouldn't say happy. Satisfied, yeah. 841 00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,497 Alright so uh, what do we do now? 842 00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:35,999 We take the money. 843 00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:39,903 Mr. kipper's little ship is sinking fast. 844 00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:41,905 And I don't feel like drowning. 845 00:40:41,907 --> 00:40:44,707 Yeah I never did like the ending of Titanic. 846 00:40:46,510 --> 00:40:47,610 Alright. 847 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,980 Screw it. I'm in. 848 00:40:51,982 --> 00:40:53,650 Black Jack? 849 00:40:55,953 --> 00:40:57,954 Fuck it. Ya'll know I can't swim. 850 00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,823 I'm in. Let's do it. 851 00:41:09,834 --> 00:41:11,935 Look guys, if we take this money, 852 00:41:11,937 --> 00:41:14,904 we're all gonna have to disappear like, forever. 853 00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,573 Tara no problem here. 854 00:41:16,575 --> 00:41:18,541 Dave yeah. I got nothin' to stick around here for. 855 00:41:18,543 --> 00:41:21,211 Well damn am I the only one not fed up with life? 856 00:41:21,213 --> 00:41:23,813 Shit you white people are miserable man. 857 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,648 Get your ass in therapy or somethin' 858 00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:27,517 Tara i tried it didn't work. 859 00:41:29,221 --> 00:41:30,553 Pharms halt! 860 00:41:30,555 --> 00:41:32,689 Tara hey, it's just us. 861 00:41:32,691 --> 00:41:32,689 Stay down there narc. 862 00:41:32,691 --> 00:41:35,625 Black Jack man fuck you I ain't no narc. 863 00:41:37,696 --> 00:41:38,895 Pharms i said stay down. 864 00:41:39,263 --> 00:41:40,530 Black Jack man fuck you. 865 00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:42,966 Tara what is going on up there? 866 00:41:42,968 --> 00:41:44,234 Pharms just playin a little game. 867 00:41:44,236 --> 00:41:45,668 Dave what kind of game? 868 00:41:46,704 --> 00:41:47,904 Pharms kipper hunting. 869 00:41:50,541 --> 00:41:54,010 Dave pharms, buddy, can I come up there and talk to you? 870 00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,578 Pharms I'd prefer you didn't 871 00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:57,714 by the way, is Jack dead? 872 00:41:57,716 --> 00:41:58,982 Black Jack i think so. 873 00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:00,049 Pharms you think so? 874 00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:00,049 Isn't that something an undercover cop would thoroughly check out? 875 00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:03,853 Black Jack hey, I'm not a cop man. 876 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:03,853 Dave you know what's funny, 877 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:03,853 I applied for a mall security gig right. I didn't hear- 878 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:09,559 black Jack shut the fuck up. Ain't nobody asked you no shit like that. 879 00:42:09,561 --> 00:42:15,965 One ten thousand. Two ten thousand, three ten thousand 880 00:42:18,969 --> 00:42:20,537 pharms I'm gonna get you kipper. 881 00:42:25,744 --> 00:42:30,313 Tara hey shit head watch it. What the fuck! 882 00:42:30,315 --> 00:42:32,749 Dave pharms what's wrong with you? You almost hit Tara. 883 00:42:32,751 --> 00:42:34,617 Oaky would you cut this shit out? 884 00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:36,753 Black Jack come on pharms. I knew you was a fuck up, 885 00:42:36,755 --> 00:42:39,856 but I didn't know you was shootin' bitches in the faces and shit man. 886 00:42:39,858 --> 00:42:43,326 Pharms you know what officer I wasn't but then I saw all that money. 887 00:42:43,328 --> 00:42:45,295 It made me think about all the things I could do with it. 888 00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:47,697 Tara god that could buy like a lot of pills 889 00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:49,632 Dave come on. I don't want to die pharms. 890 00:42:49,634 --> 00:42:51,701 Pharms, I get it. I'm broke too. 891 00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:53,303 We ain't makin no money at this bitch. 892 00:42:53,305 --> 00:42:55,305 I want the money too man. What's up? 893 00:42:55,307 --> 00:43:00,810 Too late deputy. You said nay. I clearly remember it. 894 00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:02,612 Dave pharms this would all be a lot easier if we all 895 00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:02,612 just work together buddy. 896 00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:06,716 How can I trust him. You've been lyin to us the whole time. 897 00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:08,051 Black Jack that's my job man. 898 00:43:08,053 --> 00:43:09,752 That's all I can say about that. 899 00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:09,752 Not an honorable one. 900 00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:12,755 Black Jack neither is this. Stealin', killin', 901 00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,657 eatin' paint chips and shit. 902 00:43:14,659 --> 00:43:15,592 Who's killing? 903 00:43:22,033 --> 00:43:23,866 Please! Come on! 904 00:43:23,868 --> 00:43:26,603 Okay. I'll be the bigger man. Come on up. 905 00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:33,910 Hey! 906 00:43:33,912 --> 00:43:36,079 It's locked. 907 00:43:37,916 --> 00:43:39,849 Dave Mr. kipper? 908 00:43:41,686 --> 00:43:42,685 Pharms yeah. Hit it again. 909 00:43:42,687 --> 00:43:44,687 Tara fucking yeah. Hit it again. 910 00:43:44,689 --> 00:43:47,156 Pharms we're comin' in kippers and bits. 911 00:43:50,961 --> 00:43:52,729 Dave pharms, you okay? 912 00:43:52,731 --> 00:43:54,731 Pharms i got shot. 913 00:43:54,733 --> 00:43:54,731 I got shot. 914 00:43:54,733 --> 00:43:57,033 Dave hang in there buddy. Hang in there. 915 00:43:57,035 --> 00:43:59,736 Pharms oh it hurts Dave. I'm really scared. 916 00:43:59,738 --> 00:44:01,137 Dave i know it's not that bad alright. 917 00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:01,137 There's not too much blood. 918 00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:04,941 Tara oh my god there's so much fucking blood. 919 00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:05,942 Dave just shut up! 920 00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:07,844 Oh buddy, don't let me die. 921 00:44:07,846 --> 00:44:08,911 Dave you're not gonna die pharms 922 00:44:08,913 --> 00:44:08,911 black Jack he dead yet? 923 00:44:08,913 --> 00:44:11,881 Dave will you shut up both of you. What the f-- 924 00:44:12,416 --> 00:44:12,415 have some couthe! 925 00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:15,652 Black Jack whatever man, I don't have time for this drawn out 926 00:44:15,654 --> 00:44:16,986 Oscar winning death scene. 927 00:44:17,755 --> 00:44:17,754 Oh! 928 00:44:17,756 --> 00:44:17,754 Dave what? Pharms oh it's coming. 929 00:44:17,756 --> 00:44:17,754 What? Oh I can see it. 930 00:44:23,961 --> 00:44:25,161 Black Jack what's it sayin' pharmy? 931 00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:29,732 Pharms no... refills... 932 00:44:33,437 --> 00:44:34,737 Dave he's dead. 933 00:44:34,739 --> 00:44:36,673 Oh my god. Oh shit. 934 00:44:37,808 --> 00:44:40,743 My first day of work and already another dead person. 935 00:44:42,713 --> 00:44:45,882 Okay, umm... how do they do this in the movies? 936 00:44:45,884 --> 00:44:49,018 Dave he's got these... He's got those bug eyes. 937 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,119 Let me just... 938 00:44:51,822 --> 00:44:53,222 Dave okay... 939 00:44:53,224 --> 00:44:55,091 Oh! What the fuck! 940 00:44:55,093 --> 00:44:56,459 Tara uh- 941 00:44:56,461 --> 00:44:56,459 Dave okay alright Tara uh. 942 00:44:56,461 --> 00:45:01,030 Dave finally. Alright look. We have to fuckin- 943 00:45:01,032 --> 00:45:02,031 pharms don't die! 944 00:45:02,901 --> 00:45:04,067 Dave what the fuck! 945 00:45:11,775 --> 00:45:13,943 Enough fucking around. I am getting a crow bar. 946 00:45:54,818 --> 00:45:55,752 Otto help me cock sucker! 947 00:45:55,754 --> 00:45:56,819 Dave ah! 948 00:45:56,821 --> 00:45:59,255 Dave shit! Otto I'm sorry. 949 00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:01,224 Otto what you fuckin' stab me for? 950 00:46:01,226 --> 00:46:02,925 Dave shit, Otto I'm sorry! 951 00:46:04,495 --> 00:46:05,495 Ah! 952 00:46:05,497 --> 00:46:07,764 Oh my god! Are you okay? 953 00:46:07,965 --> 00:46:09,832 I- am- not- okay- 954 00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:10,900 Dave holy shit! 955 00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:15,838 Dave fuck. 956 00:46:26,016 --> 00:46:27,083 Dave fuck! 957 00:46:36,260 --> 00:46:37,560 Jack careful! 958 00:46:37,562 --> 00:46:38,995 Dave shit! 959 00:46:39,963 --> 00:46:41,164 I thought you were killed. 960 00:46:41,166 --> 00:46:44,867 Jack almost. What'd I miss? 961 00:46:44,869 --> 00:46:46,869 Pharms is dead. 962 00:46:46,871 --> 00:46:49,071 Ah. Overdose? 963 00:46:49,073 --> 00:46:51,207 Maybe some lead poisoning. 964 00:46:51,942 --> 00:46:53,042 Barbie's dead too. 965 00:46:53,044 --> 00:46:55,578 Oh. That's a shame. 966 00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:57,947 Yeah. It was pretty shocking. 967 00:46:58,849 --> 00:47:00,082 Mr. kipper has the money. 968 00:47:00,084 --> 00:47:00,082 And just where are you going? 969 00:47:00,084 --> 00:47:05,188 Headin home man. It's been a really rough first day. 970 00:47:05,190 --> 00:47:08,558 Plus I got to be back at 8:00 am to open up the store. 971 00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:12,028 We got that breakfast with Santa promotion thing going on. 972 00:47:12,030 --> 00:47:15,832 Oh. Santa's dead too. By the way. 973 00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:19,068 Uh, will we be renting a Santa clause 974 00:47:19,070 --> 00:47:21,170 because I'm not sure how that's gonna work if he's not here and 975 00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:23,873 the kids show up and all that kind of stuff with the pictures. 976 00:47:23,875 --> 00:47:23,873 What about gettin' the money. 977 00:47:23,875 --> 00:47:27,877 Well you know as odds play out I figure uh, 978 00:47:27,879 --> 00:47:31,848 our chances of survival drop. It's all becoming a pattern man 979 00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:33,983 you know uh people bein' killed and that kind of stuff. 980 00:47:33,985 --> 00:47:36,185 And I'm under the impression that only one of us is gonna 981 00:47:36,187 --> 00:47:38,254 make it out of here alive so, uh 982 00:47:38,256 --> 00:47:41,290 if we do, most likely also we'll be in jail. 983 00:47:41,959 --> 00:47:41,958 So if you don't mind. 984 00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:46,262 I'm just gonna slip out of here if that's okay with you. 985 00:47:46,264 --> 00:47:47,897 Jack not so fast. 986 00:47:47,899 --> 00:47:51,167 You see if you leave. You trip the alarms. 987 00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:53,302 And if you trip the alarms the cops come. 988 00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:56,072 And if the cops come, they take us all to jail. 989 00:47:57,207 --> 00:47:59,075 And you can't go interfering with everybody's 990 00:47:59,077 --> 00:48:01,344 god given rights to stay and kill each other. 991 00:48:03,213 --> 00:48:05,248 You know you're fucked up, right Jack. 992 00:48:05,250 --> 00:48:09,886 You almost killed Otto. You shot him with a fuckin' cross bow. 993 00:48:09,888 --> 00:48:14,991 Yeah, I am totes embarrassed by that whole thing. Is he mad 994 00:48:14,993 --> 00:48:16,425 he's fuckin' dead. 995 00:48:17,227 --> 00:48:18,961 Oh you didn't do it. You didn't do it. 996 00:48:18,963 --> 00:48:20,229 Uh, somebody else did. 997 00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:22,331 They shot him right in the face with a gun. 998 00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:22,331 Thank god. 999 00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:24,967 I came around the corner though 1000 00:48:24,969 --> 00:48:28,204 and I thought heard somethin' uh call me a cock suckin'- 1001 00:48:28,206 --> 00:48:29,338 Dave, you think about it. 1002 00:48:29,340 --> 00:48:33,109 Your odds of being the one that survives are pretty good. 1003 00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:36,112 You know with pharms out of the way, who's your competition? 1004 00:48:36,114 --> 00:48:36,112 Black Jack? 1005 00:48:36,114 --> 00:48:41,484 Dave well there's Mr. kipper. He's the one who has a gun. 1006 00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:45,922 What about you? 1007 00:48:45,924 --> 00:48:48,190 Me? 1008 00:48:49,192 --> 00:48:51,294 I was never much of a competitor in anything. 1009 00:48:53,230 --> 00:48:56,999 Especially in school I was always the last one picked. 1010 00:48:57,001 --> 00:48:58,334 First one eliminated. 1011 00:48:59,136 --> 00:49:01,070 Especially in duck duck goose. 1012 00:49:03,006 --> 00:49:05,942 Besides, in this condition i probably won't last very long. 1013 00:49:07,244 --> 00:49:11,447 Either way, let's not tell the rest of the group I'm alive. 1014 00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:15,051 Let's mix it up a little bit. 1015 00:49:15,986 --> 00:49:17,453 How do you know I won't? 1016 00:49:18,422 --> 00:49:19,488 Oh... 1017 00:49:30,033 --> 00:49:31,434 Jack you bitch! 1018 00:49:32,502 --> 00:49:35,204 Mr. kipper Dave? 1019 00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:37,506 Dave... 1020 00:49:39,443 --> 00:49:42,178 No sleeping on the job. 1021 00:49:42,180 --> 00:49:44,080 Dave Mr. kipper? 1022 00:49:44,181 --> 00:49:45,481 Mr. kipper you took quite a pounding. 1023 00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:48,084 I had to do the heimlich 1024 00:49:51,054 --> 00:49:52,521 finally got that measurement. 1025 00:49:53,323 --> 00:49:55,057 Dave what the fuck? 1026 00:50:05,335 --> 00:50:07,403 Dave holy shit! 1027 00:50:13,043 --> 00:50:13,042 Black Jack hey what took you so long? 1028 00:50:13,044 --> 00:50:16,145 Dave well since the guy from the tool department is dead. 1029 00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:17,380 I had to grab this myself. 1030 00:50:18,448 --> 00:50:19,515 Where's Tara? Tara here. 1031 00:50:20,517 --> 00:50:21,784 Dave are you okay? 1032 00:50:21,786 --> 00:50:21,784 Tara yeah? 1033 00:50:21,786 --> 00:50:21,784 Black Jack what the fuck you mean is she okay. 1034 00:50:21,786 --> 00:50:26,088 What you think i raped the girl or somethin? 1035 00:50:26,090 --> 00:50:28,090 How bout I rape your little pretty ass? 1036 00:50:28,092 --> 00:50:31,093 You next. Get in line. Touch your toes motherfucker. 1037 00:50:31,095 --> 00:50:33,095 Relax. I didn't say anything about rape alright. 1038 00:50:33,097 --> 00:50:34,597 Black Jack I'll relax when we get this money. 1039 00:50:34,599 --> 00:50:37,233 So what you gonnna do, stand there lookin' the fuck stupid? 1040 00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:39,035 Or you tryin' to smash the door in? 1041 00:50:39,770 --> 00:50:39,769 Let's go son! 1042 00:50:39,771 --> 00:50:43,372 That wasn't a request. Smash the fuckin' door in! 1043 00:50:45,509 --> 00:50:46,575 Dave he's not in here. 1044 00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:48,177 Tara what the fuck! 1045 00:50:48,779 --> 00:50:50,179 Dave he's in the ventilation. 1046 00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:55,284 Black Jack kipper. What you doin? 1047 00:50:55,286 --> 00:51:00,389 You think you're Bruce fuckin' Willis? 1048 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,195 Mr. kipper you're a sailer on my tight little ship. 1049 00:51:07,364 --> 00:51:08,464 He's got the money. 1050 00:51:08,832 --> 00:51:10,099 We should go after him. 1051 00:51:10,101 --> 00:51:11,834 Uh, I'm not going in there. 1052 00:51:11,836 --> 00:51:11,834 Yeah me neither. 1053 00:51:11,836 --> 00:51:14,470 We need to find out where this thing leads to. 1054 00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:19,809 Is this where we find out one of our coworkers has a secret past? 1055 00:51:19,811 --> 00:51:23,612 Something like that. Otto Daniels frink. 1056 00:51:23,614 --> 00:51:25,181 The maintenance guy? 1057 00:51:25,183 --> 00:51:26,849 What does it say? 1058 00:51:26,851 --> 00:51:30,352 Why would you make a good Mr. beavers employee? 1059 00:51:30,354 --> 00:51:35,524 Honorable discharge, united states naval intelligence. 1060 00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:39,095 Distinguished service. Undercover operations. 1061 00:51:39,097 --> 00:51:40,596 Freedom medal... 1062 00:51:41,531 --> 00:51:43,632 Applying for sales associate. 1063 00:51:43,634 --> 00:51:46,168 I just put down good with people 1064 00:51:46,170 --> 00:51:47,837 I left mine blank. 1065 00:51:47,839 --> 00:51:47,837 So what does this mean. 1066 00:51:47,839 --> 00:51:51,173 It means that he could be involved with the dead body. 1067 00:51:51,175 --> 00:51:52,508 I don't know like a military thing. 1068 00:51:52,510 --> 00:51:54,477 Hey, look! 1069 00:51:54,479 --> 00:51:55,644 Let me see that. 1070 00:51:58,182 --> 00:51:59,849 What does it say? 1071 00:51:59,851 --> 00:52:02,118 He knew I was undercover. 1072 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:03,686 How do you know that? 1073 00:52:07,891 --> 00:52:10,659 Kipper, a methodical genius? 1074 00:52:10,661 --> 00:52:10,659 No way. 1075 00:52:10,661 --> 00:52:13,395 Think about it for a second guys. 1076 00:52:13,397 --> 00:52:16,132 Alright, he kills Otto first chance he gets. 1077 00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:19,535 Shoots him because he knows. He knows that Otto is a threat. 1078 00:52:20,904 --> 00:52:22,404 Let's go get this mother fucker. 1079 00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,358 Dave hey I've been meaning to ask you guys. 1080 00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,260 How come no body else wears their uniforms. 1081 00:52:44,262 --> 00:52:47,463 Tara what? We don't get uniforms here. 1082 00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:50,533 Dave Mr. kipper measured me for a shirt and pair of pants, 1083 00:52:50,535 --> 00:52:52,501 and he was very specific on the measurements. 1084 00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:53,569 Tara look! 1085 00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:56,338 Dave the vent goes three ways. 1086 00:52:58,441 --> 00:52:59,742 Black Jack well let's split up. 1087 00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:01,577 Tara uh, I don't think so. 1088 00:53:02,245 --> 00:53:03,679 Dave why not? 1089 00:53:03,681 --> 00:53:05,781 Tara well, what do i do if I find him? 1090 00:53:06,616 --> 00:53:07,650 Tara he has a gun. 1091 00:53:07,652 --> 00:53:07,650 Dave i don't know. Yell. 1092 00:53:07,652 --> 00:53:11,253 Hope he doesn't shoot you before we get there. 1093 00:53:11,255 --> 00:53:12,388 Black Jack wait here. 1094 00:53:12,390 --> 00:53:13,389 Take this. 1095 00:53:13,391 --> 00:53:13,389 Tara oh. 1096 00:53:13,391 --> 00:53:17,626 Black Jack and try not to blow it. If you know what I mean. 1097 00:53:58,335 --> 00:53:59,401 Otto help me cock sucker! 1098 00:53:59,403 --> 00:54:01,737 Otto oh! Fuck! Fuck! 1099 00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:02,805 Black Jack Otto! 1100 00:54:03,573 --> 00:54:03,572 Otto he's dead. 1101 00:54:03,574 --> 00:54:07,009 Black Jack that's why you don't scare black people man. 1102 00:54:07,011 --> 00:54:08,010 Hiya! 1103 00:54:08,012 --> 00:54:09,278 Otto oh! 1104 00:54:11,581 --> 00:54:13,616 Otto what the fuck I ever do to you cock sucker? 1105 00:54:18,989 --> 00:54:20,556 Tara shit! 1106 00:54:27,998 --> 00:54:30,699 Mr. kipper? 1107 00:54:33,737 --> 00:54:34,803 Tara guys! 1108 00:54:37,374 --> 00:54:37,373 Dave what's in there? 1109 00:54:37,375 --> 00:54:39,742 Black Jack the money room. And probably kipper. 1110 00:54:39,744 --> 00:54:40,676 Black Jack wait I wouldn't do that! 1111 00:54:40,678 --> 00:54:42,411 Dave owe! Shit! 1112 00:54:42,413 --> 00:54:44,046 Black Jack now who ain't listening? Stupid! 1113 00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:46,615 Tara well, uh, at least he can't get out. 1114 00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:47,816 Black Jack and we can't get in. 1115 00:54:48,518 --> 00:54:50,319 We have to go through the vents. 1116 00:54:50,321 --> 00:54:51,687 Dave i have an idea. 1117 00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:57,693 Tara Mr. kipper? 1118 00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:01,430 If you're in there. You should just come out. 1119 00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:05,768 Please... 1120 00:55:05,770 --> 00:55:07,569 Tara are you okay? 1121 00:55:07,571 --> 00:55:07,569 Black Jack yeah why? 1122 00:55:07,571 --> 00:55:10,439 Tara you look like you just saw a ghost. 1123 00:55:11,441 --> 00:55:11,440 Dave who's afraid of goats? 1124 00:55:11,442 --> 00:55:14,576 Black Jack i ain't afraid of no goats. 1125 00:55:15,378 --> 00:55:19,581 Tara ghost. I said ghost. Uh. Never mind. 1126 00:55:23,787 --> 00:55:26,355 Black Jack i see where you're goin with that. I really like it. 1127 00:55:26,357 --> 00:55:28,791 Dave we should go upstairs. He'll come out and when he does, 1128 00:55:28,793 --> 00:55:30,326 it'll be up there. 1129 00:55:30,328 --> 00:55:33,462 Keep spraying with these foggers till this cockroach comes out. 1130 00:55:41,604 --> 00:55:44,740 [ Mr. kipper coughing and sputtering 1131 00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,541 black Jack we'll wait here. Surprise him. 1132 00:56:27,450 --> 00:56:29,685 Dave hey, let me ask you somethin'. 1133 00:56:29,687 --> 00:56:31,620 You ever stab someone? 1134 00:56:31,622 --> 00:56:33,589 You ever stab someone 1135 00:56:36,726 --> 00:56:38,827 so what are you gonna' do with all this money? 1136 00:56:38,829 --> 00:56:41,130 Shit! I'm going to buy some rims, 1137 00:56:41,132 --> 00:56:43,432 pay down that damn child support. 1138 00:56:43,434 --> 00:56:43,432 Seriously? 1139 00:56:43,434 --> 00:56:47,703 Fuck no! Racist mother fucker. I ain't got no damn kids. 1140 00:56:47,705 --> 00:56:49,872 I don't even have a fuckin' car. I ain't waistin' money on some 1141 00:56:49,874 --> 00:56:49,872 stupid ass rims! 1142 00:56:49,874 --> 00:56:53,442 How am I racist? You're the one that said it. 1143 00:56:53,444 --> 00:56:54,810 You was thinkin' it mother fucker! 1144 00:56:54,812 --> 00:56:57,713 Shit! All you white people are the same. 1145 00:56:59,616 --> 00:57:02,151 But I am worried about somethin' though. 1146 00:57:02,153 --> 00:57:03,752 What's that? 1147 00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:04,853 You. 1148 00:57:04,855 --> 00:57:06,622 Me? 1149 00:57:06,624 --> 00:57:08,791 You're the one holdin' this all together. 1150 00:57:08,793 --> 00:57:09,958 You're the star here 1151 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,494 to you we're just supportin' cast. 1152 00:57:12,496 --> 00:57:14,797 And you're the hero. 1153 00:57:14,799 --> 00:57:16,765 That's not true. 1154 00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:18,634 You barely even know my name. 1155 00:57:18,636 --> 00:57:20,169 No I know your name. You're black Jack 1156 00:57:20,171 --> 00:57:22,571 my name is Jackson Porter bitch. 1157 00:57:22,573 --> 00:57:24,840 And why would you even want to split the money with us? 1158 00:57:24,842 --> 00:57:26,775 Because we all had a deal. 1159 00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:28,477 Did we shake hands? 1160 00:57:28,479 --> 00:57:30,612 Did we sign a contract? 1161 00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:32,981 Every time I turn around I'm gettin' shafted by the company. 1162 00:57:32,983 --> 00:57:36,852 Undercover here. Miss my life there. And for what? 1163 00:57:36,854 --> 00:57:39,588 Where's my reward? At the end of the day 1164 00:57:39,590 --> 00:57:41,890 I'm just another brother gettin' shafted by the man 1165 00:57:41,892 --> 00:57:43,725 but not anymore. 1166 00:57:44,661 --> 00:57:48,897 The way I see it. It's every man for himself. 1167 00:58:01,244 --> 00:58:04,580 Dave kipper! 1168 00:58:18,962 --> 00:58:21,830 Kipper i know you're out there Dave. 1169 00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:24,533 You almost shot me just now Mr. kipper. 1170 00:58:24,535 --> 00:58:27,569 Yes. I know you moved though. 1171 00:58:27,571 --> 00:58:27,569 Sorry about that. 1172 00:58:27,571 --> 00:58:31,907 Mr. kipper oh no sweat kiddo. I'll aim better next time. 1173 00:58:34,777 --> 00:58:36,578 So where is everyone? 1174 00:58:36,580 --> 00:58:40,582 Black Jack's out here. He's dead. 1175 00:58:40,584 --> 00:58:42,718 He is? 1176 00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,286 Did I kill him? 1177 00:58:44,288 --> 00:58:45,854 Nope, that was me. 1178 00:58:45,856 --> 00:58:46,955 Mr. kipper oh... 1179 00:58:46,957 --> 00:58:50,692 I see you found out his secret identity. 1180 00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:53,061 And Tara? 1181 00:58:53,063 --> 00:58:55,831 She's down stairs. Spraying the foggers. 1182 00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:58,600 I assumed it was her. 1183 00:58:58,602 --> 00:59:00,302 Actually that was my idea. 1184 00:59:00,304 --> 00:59:02,271 Mr. kipper very good one. It worked perfectly. 1185 00:59:02,273 --> 00:59:10,646 You wold have been a real asset to my staff Dave. 1186 00:59:17,620 --> 00:59:18,887 Dave what are you doing? 1187 00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:18,887 I was just trying to see 1188 00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:21,757 if I could shoot you through the wall. 1189 00:59:21,759 --> 00:59:23,659 Oh. Lucky me. 1190 00:59:23,661 --> 00:59:29,798 You know Dave. You should just leave. I have the gun. You and 1191 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,668 the Scooby gang can't beat that no matter how hard you try. 1192 00:59:32,670 --> 00:59:35,604 Why don't you just split it with us? 1193 00:59:35,606 --> 00:59:37,839 Because when more than one person is in on a secret, 1194 00:59:37,841 --> 00:59:39,074 the secret gets out. 1195 00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:41,944 You see one guy, one secret. 1196 00:59:41,946 --> 00:59:46,014 One guy, one druggie bitch and one punk kid, 1197 00:59:46,016 --> 00:59:48,850 Mr. kipper the secret gets blown. 1198 00:59:48,852 --> 00:59:51,019 Who's the dead guy? 1199 00:59:51,021 --> 00:59:52,988 Mr. kipper how the hell should I know? 1200 00:59:52,990 --> 00:59:56,925 I figure pharms did it. He was always a 1201 00:59:56,927 --> 01:00:00,329 closet sicko type. 1202 01:00:00,331 --> 01:00:01,697 We all assumed it was you. 1203 01:00:01,699 --> 01:00:02,864 Mr. kipper of course you did... 1204 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,934 I know what you all assumed about me. 1205 01:00:06,736 --> 01:00:08,604 Homo kipper... Cock sucker kipper. 1206 01:00:08,606 --> 01:00:10,138 Oh believe me I know. 1207 01:00:11,874 --> 01:00:13,141 But I know all the secrets. 1208 01:00:15,044 --> 01:00:18,647 You see, I know about under cover action Jackson. 1209 01:00:18,649 --> 01:00:23,118 About the drugs. About the stealing. See I know it all. 1210 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:27,623 Sometimes, playing dumb works to your advantage. 1211 01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,791 I guess it does. 1212 01:00:31,828 --> 01:00:32,894 So now we wait. 1213 01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:36,131 Fine. 1214 01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:38,033 Fine. 1215 01:00:50,947 --> 01:00:52,981 Son of a bitch. 1216 01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:54,049 Dave what's that? 1217 01:00:54,051 --> 01:00:56,385 Oh nothing. 1218 01:00:56,387 --> 01:01:01,757 Say Dave. Would you still consider splitting the money, 1219 01:01:01,759 --> 01:01:04,826 even though I tried to kill you? 1220 01:01:04,828 --> 01:01:07,396 Change of heart now Mr. kipper? 1221 01:01:07,398 --> 01:01:10,766 You might say that. 1222 01:01:10,768 --> 01:01:11,767 What brought that on? 1223 01:01:12,869 --> 01:01:16,938 I'm out of bullets. 1224 01:01:16,940 --> 01:01:17,873 You're out of bullets. 1225 01:01:17,875 --> 01:01:19,875 Yes... 1226 01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:24,813 Okay. Why don' you go ahead and toss the gun out here. 1227 01:01:26,416 --> 01:01:29,051 Oh, of course. 1228 01:01:31,788 --> 01:01:34,856 Oh. Oops, sorry. I missed. 1229 01:01:34,858 --> 01:01:37,759 Dave okay. I'm coming in. 1230 01:01:41,065 --> 01:01:42,964 Damn it Dave. You lied. 1231 01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:58,146 Damn! 1232 01:02:00,718 --> 01:02:05,187 Jack Tara! 1233 01:02:05,189 --> 01:02:07,856 Tara shit! God! 1234 01:02:07,858 --> 01:02:10,025 You scared the crap out of me. 1235 01:02:11,260 --> 01:02:13,028 We all thought you were dead. 1236 01:02:13,030 --> 01:02:14,463 So did I. 1237 01:02:14,465 --> 01:02:17,132 But I decided to stick around for a little while. 1238 01:02:19,068 --> 01:02:20,836 Tara can I have some. 1239 01:02:22,105 --> 01:02:26,041 Come on! Sharing is caring. 1240 01:02:27,510 --> 01:02:29,111 And what do I get? 1241 01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:33,949 Ew! I am not fucking you right now. 1242 01:02:33,951 --> 01:02:35,817 Why not? 1243 01:02:35,819 --> 01:02:38,487 Because you look like a flesh eaten zombie. 1244 01:02:38,489 --> 01:02:41,790 So... sharing is caring you just said so. 1245 01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:44,493 That was before your flesh got burnt off by acid. 1246 01:02:44,495 --> 01:02:46,762 Oh come on! 1247 01:02:46,764 --> 01:02:48,964 Seriously? 1248 01:02:48,966 --> 01:02:51,066 You've done so much worse. 1249 01:02:51,068 --> 01:02:54,503 You let those eight Mexicans run a train on you at olive garden 1250 01:02:54,505 --> 01:02:58,106 because they said they'd give you endless salad. 1251 01:02:58,108 --> 01:03:01,843 That's free. Everybody gets that. 1252 01:03:01,845 --> 01:03:07,249 Come on Tara... please.... 1253 01:03:07,251 --> 01:03:10,085 Ah! Oh my god! 1254 01:03:10,087 --> 01:03:12,287 Ah! I swear to god I'll be fast. 1255 01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:14,823 I'm fast. Faster than a car alarm even. 1256 01:03:14,825 --> 01:03:17,225 Come on and just, just fuck me please Tara 1257 01:03:17,227 --> 01:03:18,293 fine! 1258 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:22,063 Yay! 1259 01:03:22,065 --> 01:03:24,966 Jack uh! Oh! That's so good. 1260 01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:26,568 Ah! Ah! Ah! 1261 01:03:26,570 --> 01:03:28,303 Ah... oops! 1262 01:03:34,544 --> 01:03:37,813 You know Dave, I don't even have the money. 1263 01:03:46,222 --> 01:03:47,289 Dave? 1264 01:04:03,906 --> 01:04:06,141 Mr. kipper Dave? Dave? 1265 01:04:22,191 --> 01:04:24,860 Jack hey new guy. You alive? 1266 01:04:26,128 --> 01:04:28,063 Dave i need help. 1267 01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:30,599 Hey listen. I'd love to stay and chat about it. 1268 01:04:30,601 --> 01:04:32,067 You know the line. 1269 01:04:32,069 --> 01:04:34,169 Dead relatives welcoming you and all but, 1270 01:04:34,171 --> 01:04:37,606 I have absolutely got to go and kill Mr. kipper. 1271 01:04:37,608 --> 01:04:42,344 Hey, check this out. I'm gonna use a chain saw. 1272 01:04:42,346 --> 01:04:44,179 Isn't that wicked? 1273 01:04:44,181 --> 01:04:44,179 Dave let me go. 1274 01:04:44,181 --> 01:04:47,649 Jack you are absolutely not even into this. 1275 01:04:47,651 --> 01:04:51,253 Dave i need an ambulance, Jack. 1276 01:04:51,255 --> 01:04:53,021 Jack hey, I'll make you a deal. 1277 01:04:53,023 --> 01:04:54,623 After I cut kipper into bits... 1278 01:04:54,625 --> 01:04:56,958 I'll come back and dice you up too. 1279 01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:59,895 Quickly though... okay? 1280 01:05:01,365 --> 01:05:05,267 Jack what? I can't hear you. 1281 01:05:05,269 --> 01:05:09,404 Chain saw! 1282 01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:11,439 I'll be back! 1283 01:05:14,977 --> 01:05:17,946 Hey, you didn't tell me black Jack was dead. 1284 01:05:17,948 --> 01:05:19,681 Maybe I'll chop him up too. 1285 01:05:21,685 --> 01:05:24,386 Mr. kipper ah! Ah, ah, no! 1286 01:05:55,418 --> 01:05:57,352 Mr. kipper oh Dave, Dave... 1287 01:05:57,354 --> 01:05:58,987 Dave wait! Wait! 1288 01:05:58,989 --> 01:06:00,388 What? What? 1289 01:06:00,390 --> 01:06:02,023 You're out of bullets. 1290 01:06:02,025 --> 01:06:05,360 Oh the hell I am. It's a six shot. There's one left. 1291 01:06:05,362 --> 01:06:09,297 Dave pharms, Otto, Jack. You fired at me three times. 1292 01:06:09,299 --> 01:06:11,499 No, no. I shot you twice. 1293 01:06:13,135 --> 01:06:14,369 Dave no wait, wait, wait... 1294 01:06:14,371 --> 01:06:15,704 Who's the dead guy? 1295 01:06:15,706 --> 01:06:17,439 I don't know! 1296 01:06:17,441 --> 01:06:19,107 And I don't think we'll ever know. 1297 01:06:19,109 --> 01:06:20,141 You killed him. 1298 01:06:20,143 --> 01:06:23,044 No! No, no, no! 1299 01:06:24,246 --> 01:06:26,348 But I think I know who did. 1300 01:06:26,350 --> 01:06:29,217 Who was the one person 1301 01:06:29,219 --> 01:06:31,753 who wasn't with us when we found the body? 1302 01:06:31,755 --> 01:06:33,455 Dave pharms? Mr. kipper no 1303 01:06:33,457 --> 01:06:35,256 Otto? Uh-uh. 1304 01:06:35,258 --> 01:06:37,092 Santa claus? Are you serious? 1305 01:06:37,094 --> 01:06:38,460 Tara? Please? 1306 01:06:38,462 --> 01:06:40,395 Jack? Dave! 1307 01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:42,397 Black Jack? No! 1308 01:06:42,399 --> 01:06:44,766 You? No, no, no... 1309 01:06:44,768 --> 01:06:46,401 Mitch. 1310 01:06:46,403 --> 01:06:48,103 Who the fuck is Mitch? 1311 01:06:48,105 --> 01:06:50,005 Mitch kalper. 1312 01:06:52,041 --> 01:06:53,108 He didn't show up for work tonight 1313 01:06:53,110 --> 01:06:55,410 that's why you had to come in. 1314 01:06:55,412 --> 01:06:59,381 Oh please. Someone must have mentioned that to you. 1315 01:06:59,383 --> 01:07:02,183 Ex-con. Did time for robbery... 1316 01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:05,253 Uh, got hired because he sued us. 1317 01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:07,088 Corporate wanted to keep it confidential 1318 01:07:07,090 --> 01:07:10,191 because... that's the way they are. 1319 01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:14,095 Look but, i was collecting evidence.... 1320 01:07:14,097 --> 01:07:15,330 Because he was stealing... 1321 01:07:15,332 --> 01:07:18,366 And I was going to have him arrested and fired. 1322 01:07:18,368 --> 01:07:19,768 I don't understand. 1323 01:07:19,770 --> 01:07:22,237 Oh! Forget about it. Old news. 1324 01:07:22,239 --> 01:07:27,242 The point is, we're never going to find out who killed that guy. 1325 01:07:28,811 --> 01:07:33,148 You see, in real life you don't always have surprise endings. 1326 01:07:33,150 --> 01:07:35,583 Sometimes the truth is just... just boring. 1327 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:40,789 Anyway Dave, your employment here just isn't working out. 1328 01:07:40,791 --> 01:07:43,458 So I would consider this, a termination. 1329 01:07:43,460 --> 01:07:44,526 No. No! 1330 01:07:44,528 --> 01:07:45,627 Black Jack kipper! 1331 01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,597 You again? 1332 01:07:51,268 --> 01:07:52,534 Dave i told you! 1333 01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:01,242 Black Jack... you're my little sea man right? 1334 01:08:09,285 --> 01:08:12,821 Mr kipper oh... ah... no! 1335 01:08:15,859 --> 01:08:19,360 Black Jack i knew that mother fucker was gonna try to bounce. 1336 01:08:20,529 --> 01:08:22,130 Where you think you goin'? 1337 01:08:22,132 --> 01:08:23,298 Just... oh god... 1338 01:08:23,300 --> 01:08:24,365 Where's the money? 1339 01:08:24,367 --> 01:08:25,500 I don't know man. 1340 01:08:25,502 --> 01:08:28,470 Seriously... Where'd kipper stash it? 1341 01:08:28,472 --> 01:08:30,371 No! I don't know! 1342 01:08:32,241 --> 01:08:36,244 Fine. This is how you wanna play? 1343 01:08:57,299 --> 01:08:59,601 Jack always keepin' an eye on me. 1344 01:09:18,921 --> 01:09:21,289 - Fuck! - [Slamming phone down 1345 01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,774 Jack Mr. kipper! 1346 01:09:40,309 --> 01:09:43,278 I'm so happy you're still alive. 1347 01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:46,581 Mr. kipper Jack! Please. 1348 01:09:46,583 --> 01:09:49,684 You do know, killing you is going to be the absolute 1349 01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:53,421 highlight of my night. 1350 01:09:53,423 --> 01:09:54,489 Mr. kipper Jack... 1351 01:09:56,692 --> 01:10:00,261 Bye Mr. kipper. Merry Christmas. 1352 01:10:00,263 --> 01:10:02,330 There's something that you should know. 1353 01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:04,599 Yes. 1354 01:10:04,601 --> 01:10:18,413 Corporate prefers you say happy holidays. 1355 01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:45,306 Jack come out come out wherever you are Dave. 1356 01:10:56,986 --> 01:10:59,520 You'll never get out Dave. 1357 01:10:59,522 --> 01:11:03,625 I've got all the keys to all the exits. 1358 01:11:29,785 --> 01:11:36,357 You're a sea man on my tight little ship. 1359 01:11:36,359 --> 01:11:38,026 Otto mother fucker help me! 1360 01:11:55,544 --> 01:11:57,545 Those were my damn fritter wrappers. 1361 01:11:57,547 --> 01:11:59,514 And my soda can. 1362 01:11:59,516 --> 01:12:01,649 I leave 'em wherever i goddamn want to. 1363 01:12:03,452 --> 01:12:05,386 And I don't give a shit who's goat you killed. 1364 01:12:05,388 --> 01:12:07,355 Ah! 1365 01:12:15,064 --> 01:12:16,831 Jack hey! New guy. 1366 01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,367 Get over there. 1367 01:12:19,369 --> 01:12:19,367 You move pretty fast 1368 01:12:19,369 --> 01:12:22,737 for someone playin' quadriplegic a few minutes ago. 1369 01:12:22,739 --> 01:12:23,838 I need an ambulance man. 1370 01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:26,541 Oh, don't waste your time man. 1371 01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:28,876 You're done. I'm just sayin'. 1372 01:12:31,413 --> 01:12:32,680 You're really gonna kill me? 1373 01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:36,584 Yeah, duh. That's how these things go right? 1374 01:12:38,088 --> 01:12:39,420 What about the money? 1375 01:12:39,422 --> 01:12:41,656 The money? Come on man. 1376 01:12:41,658 --> 01:12:43,825 I'm almost dead. You're almost dead. 1377 01:12:43,827 --> 01:12:47,929 Ain't gonna do us any good now. Probably all burnt it up anyway. 1378 01:12:49,131 --> 01:12:53,101 Alright well... good luck in the after life. 1379 01:12:53,103 --> 01:12:56,838 Merry cr- happy holiday! 1380 01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:58,373 Woah, woah. Hold on a second. 1381 01:12:59,708 --> 01:13:02,577 I got somethin' for you. 1382 01:13:02,579 --> 01:13:04,512 That's right. Yeah. 1383 01:13:04,514 --> 01:13:05,646 Is that a fritter? 1384 01:13:05,648 --> 01:13:06,647 Sure is. 1385 01:13:06,649 --> 01:13:07,715 You got a fritter? 1386 01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:07,715 You want it? 1387 01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:12,453 I tell you what... you give me that fritter, I won't kill you. 1388 01:13:12,455 --> 01:13:13,454 You promise? 1389 01:13:13,456 --> 01:13:15,123 Yeah! Toss it over. 1390 01:13:15,125 --> 01:13:16,791 Alright! 1391 01:13:19,128 --> 01:13:23,498 Ah! You dumb ass! 1392 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:24,932 Imma kill you anyway. 1393 01:13:26,635 --> 01:13:28,770 Mmm. Ah. 1394 01:13:28,772 --> 01:13:30,505 It's good right? 1395 01:13:30,507 --> 01:13:33,441 Yeah. Christmas came early for old Jackie boy. 1396 01:13:33,443 --> 01:13:35,643 Fritter and an extra 1397 01:13:40,617 --> 01:13:43,451 Jack did you do... 1398 01:14:08,911 --> 01:14:11,579 Dave enjoy your fuckin' fritter bitch! 1399 01:14:11,581 --> 01:14:13,214 It's not even a fuckin' fritter anyway. 1400 01:14:13,216 --> 01:14:13,214 It's a fuckin' honeybun. 1401 01:14:13,216 --> 01:14:18,553 All day, I need my fritter i need my fritter you stupid fuck! 1402 01:14:18,555 --> 01:14:21,789 What the fuck! 1403 01:14:21,791 --> 01:14:24,992 Nice try Dave, but you loose. 1404 01:14:24,994 --> 01:14:27,995 Time to kill you. Sorry. 1405 01:14:27,997 --> 01:14:29,797 Don't apologize to me. 1406 01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:31,866 What? 1407 01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:34,535 Apologize to bucky. 1408 01:14:36,506 --> 01:14:39,907 Jack ah! What the fuck man! 1409 01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:45,213 Ah! Oh my god. I was kidding. 1410 01:14:45,215 --> 01:14:48,549 Oh! Oh my god. Did it leave a mark? 1411 01:14:48,551 --> 01:14:51,953 Ah! Is there a mark. Oh my god. 1412 01:14:56,659 --> 01:15:02,797 Jack a beaver hit me in my che-St. 1413 01:15:02,799 --> 01:15:08,836 I'm sorry. 1414 01:15:08,838 --> 01:15:12,974 I think I'm goin'. 1415 01:15:12,976 --> 01:15:15,543 Dave no! Oh shit! 1416 01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:57,885 Otto four fuckin' tours in Iraq, three tours in Afghanistan, 1417 01:15:57,887 --> 01:16:02,757 816 Mexicans across the cartel couldn't kill me. 1418 01:16:02,759 --> 01:16:06,894 Ain't some cock suckin' fairies at a hardware store gonna do it. 1419 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:10,998 Bunch of fuckin' cock suckers. 1420 01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,568 Who am I gonna kill next? 1421 01:16:13,570 --> 01:16:18,906 Otto king Kong ain't got shit on me! 1422 01:16:20,042 --> 01:16:25,046 Blue hard hat man they tore this place up. What the hell happened here? 1423 01:16:25,048 --> 01:16:28,649 Yellow hard hat some guy went nuts on Christmas Eve. 1424 01:16:28,651 --> 01:16:32,019 Massacred all of his co-workers. 1425 01:16:32,021 --> 01:16:35,056 Blue hard hat hey Jim... 1426 01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:38,693 Check this out. 1427 01:16:38,695 --> 01:16:41,028 Yellow hard hat what's in it? 1428 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,673 John they called us the Santa hat bandits. 1429 01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:52,673 Mitch shut up. 1430 01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:56,944 Go stash the bag. I'm gonna go steal the store keys. 1431 01:16:56,946 --> 01:16:58,946 We'll come back after they close tonight. 1432 01:16:58,948 --> 01:17:01,649 Meet me in two minutes. 1433 01:17:23,405 --> 01:17:27,708 Jack you're a sea man on my tight little... uh, uh, uh, 1434 01:17:35,884 --> 01:17:37,218 Jack alright! 1435 01:17:42,991 --> 01:17:47,828 Jack ... a sea man on my tight little ship. 1436 01:17:48,397 --> 01:17:53,401 Joey Mitch! 1437 01:17:53,403 --> 01:17:54,669 Anybody! 1438 01:17:57,406 --> 01:18:00,975 I'm stuck in the box. 1439 01:18:01,843 --> 01:18:04,412 I can't breath in here. 1440 01:18:04,414 --> 01:18:07,915 I'm suffocating! 1441 01:18:08,417 --> 01:18:10,217 Mitch! 1442 01:18:11,421 --> 01:18:15,423 Oh my god. I'm gonna miss Christmas. 1443 01:18:21,897 --> 01:18:22,997 Mitch Joey! 1444 01:18:25,434 --> 01:18:27,234 Joey! 1445 01:18:28,437 --> 01:18:31,739 Back stabbin son of a bitch! 1446 01:18:32,305 --> 01:18:38,518 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org