1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:38,909 --> 00:00:50,909 Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick 3 00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:52,940 Are you kidding me? 4 00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,220 Oh, Josh! Sorry I'm late. 5 00:00:59,470 --> 00:01:00,740 That's all right. 6 00:01:00,910 --> 00:01:02,580 Office holiday breakfast. 7 00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:04,440 You guys have parties at 10:30 in the morning? 8 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:05,690 Less liability. 9 00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:07,320 Apparently, people don't get drunk before noon. 10 00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:09,540 - Mmm. - It's boring as shit. 11 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,580 But the partners want us there, so... 12 00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:12,900 Sure. 13 00:01:12,910 --> 00:01:14,780 Anyways, after a year of negotiation, 14 00:01:14,910 --> 00:01:16,050 your divorce is finalised. 15 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,260 These are the terms we agreed to. 16 00:01:18,510 --> 00:01:19,900 The alimony, 17 00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:21,900 the house. Sorry. 18 00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:23,900 Don't worry about it. It's only money. 19 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,580 It is only 20 00:01:26,550 --> 00:01:28,100 all of the money. 21 00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:30,860 But it's the season for giving, right? 22 00:01:30,910 --> 00:01:32,460 I know how you feel. 23 00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:34,660 Oh, yeah? I didn't know you were divorced. 24 00:01:34,870 --> 00:01:36,540 Oh, God, no. That'd be crushing. 25 00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:37,900 - Hmm. - But I get it. 26 00:01:38,110 --> 00:01:39,900 On one level, it must seem like, uh, 27 00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:41,940 "I'm signing away a huge chunk of my life 28 00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:43,740 "that I'm never getting back." 29 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:44,900 Mmm-hmm. 30 00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:47,500 That's it? No other level? 31 00:01:47,910 --> 00:01:49,860 - No, that's it. Uh, initials. - Oh. 32 00:01:50,950 --> 00:01:52,900 Hey. There are good things ahead for you, okay? 33 00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:54,460 - Yeah. Oh. - Come here. 34 00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:56,700 - Thank you. Thanks, buddy. - Merry Christmas. 35 00:01:56,910 --> 00:01:58,900 - Hey, what's this? - My final bill's in there. 36 00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:00,900 - Is it? - Oh, also my holiday card. 37 00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:02,700 The wife had me and the kids dress up 38 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,660 like members of One Direction. Pretty fun. 39 00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:08,900 Mmm. Dynamite. 40 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:27,900 Yes, Mum, it is all done. I am divorced. 41 00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:31,460 Well, you should tell Dad 42 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:33,930 that she is not coming over for Christmas. 43 00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:37,900 Why? Because we're divorced, Mum! 44 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,020 Well... Oh, Mum, don't worry about that. 45 00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:41,300 I'm still gonna be fun. 46 00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:44,540 I'm still gonna be fun Uncle Josh, you know? 47 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:47,100 Well, without doing that. 48 00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:49,740 No, you can leave the Santa suit in the attic. 49 00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:52,140 Why? Because I'm an adult 50 00:02:52,350 --> 00:02:54,500 and dressing up as Santa Claus would be embarrassing. 51 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:59,140 Hi. Unless, you know, you're doing it for charity. 52 00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:01,260 Then it's... Then it's, um... 53 00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:02,490 Sorry. 54 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:04,060 Tell Dad that I love... Oh! 55 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,540 That's lucky. 56 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:07,700 Just put me down for five bucks, okay? 57 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:08,910 Hanging up, Mum. 58 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,300 Hey, Carla, good morning. 59 00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:30,200 You see something over there? What do you got? 60 00:03:30,230 --> 00:03:31,260 I think that Starbucks 61 00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:32,880 - attracts a bad element, Josh. - Oh, yeah. 62 00:03:32,910 --> 00:03:34,460 Listen. Give me the green light... 63 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:35,720 - Mmm-hmm. - ...and I'll shut it down. 64 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,780 Oh, I love that initiative. It's awesome. 65 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,660 Could you sign me in real quick, please? 66 00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:41,440 I wish I could, but they got us sending you 67 00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:43,020 through these machines now. 68 00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:45,690 Gonna replace my ass, matter of time. 69 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:46,900 That's never gonna happen. 70 00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:48,560 These machines don't have your smile, Carla. 71 00:03:48,590 --> 00:03:50,260 Make that money! 72 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,460 Josh, we have a situation. 73 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,900 Mary! How do you always just appear? 74 00:03:57,910 --> 00:03:59,110 You're like a human pop-up ad. 75 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:01,860 Did you read my latest memo on appropriate work dress? 76 00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:03,660 Uh, almost done. Don't ruin the end. 77 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,030 Well, some people didn't. And those people are Meghan. 78 00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,540 Nobody listens to H.R. 79 00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:09,900 Hey, Meghan? 80 00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,900 I thought that I have been clear about 81 00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:15,100 the number of buttons that can be unbuttoned on a shirt. 82 00:04:15,310 --> 00:04:17,900 - You were serious about that? - It's winter. Can we 83 00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,300 put Dancer and Prancer back in their stable? 84 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,020 Are you body-shaming her right now? 85 00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:24,020 Some people here 86 00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:26,220 might find your outfit 87 00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:27,580 offensive. 88 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,900 Well, some people might find your outfit offensive. 89 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:31,300 And really confusing. 90 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:32,550 Oh, I thought it was clear. 91 00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:35,100 This is a multi-denominational holiday sweater. 92 00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,740 It has Christmas, 93 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,860 Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, 94 00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:40,660 the Buddhist day of enlightenment, 95 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:43,460 and Boxing Day on it. Everyone's included! 96 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,060 Is everyone included? 97 00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,710 What about, um, what about something for the Satanists? 98 00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:50,900 Jeremy, come on. I... I admire the stand that you're taking, 99 00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:52,660 but let's schedule the protest rally 100 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,880 for after the workday, shall we? 101 00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:55,480 And, Mary, let's let it slide. 102 00:04:55,510 --> 00:04:56,780 Thank you. 103 00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,130 Good morning, everybody. 104 00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:01,020 You can't silence us all. 105 00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,900 I know why you took a medical leave. 106 00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:06,080 It's hard for me to bring her out in public 107 00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:07,220 because she's so beautiful. 108 00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:08,530 Hey, guys. 109 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:11,900 People put models on this crazy pedestal, but 110 00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:14,290 I think that's why, you know, Becca fell for me, 111 00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:16,900 because I just treat her like a normal person. 112 00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:19,110 Good for you, man. Hey, so, um, are you gonna be 113 00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,740 inviting your fake girlfriend to the holiday party later? 114 00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:23,040 I mean, I just want to make sure you have time 115 00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:24,290 to inflate her. 116 00:05:24,470 --> 00:05:25,530 Okay, Becca's real. 117 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:27,740 And we're not gonna mix business with pleasure. 118 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,460 Sounds like he didn't invite her, dude. 119 00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:30,740 Oh, my God, did you not... 120 00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,290 Oh, no! I mean, I hope she's not imaginary pissed. 121 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,000 You won't get any more imaginary blow jobs. 122 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,220 Right? 123 00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:37,570 Tim. Drew. 124 00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:39,320 Hey, it's a couple days before Christmas. 125 00:05:39,350 --> 00:05:41,350 Let's just try to keep it positive till then, okay? 126 00:05:41,670 --> 00:05:43,040 - We're totally positive. - No, we're all about... 127 00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:44,900 Totally positive that he is full of shit. 128 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,100 Hey... 129 00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:48,340 You bring it on yourself, Nate. 130 00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:49,720 You know, I do have a girlfriend. 131 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,780 I know. 132 00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:52,900 She's a human woman, and we've done it. 133 00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:54,480 Maybe just don't talk about her so much at work. 134 00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:55,880 It's just gonna make those guys jealous. 135 00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:57,390 You know, not only are you their boss, 136 00:05:57,470 --> 00:05:58,900 but you also have a hot girlfriend. 137 00:05:58,910 --> 00:05:59,940 You know? 138 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:04,100 - It's too much. I hate you. - Yeah. 139 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,900 - Have a good day. - You, too! 140 00:06:06,310 --> 00:06:07,880 Can you believe corporate raised the price 141 00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,130 in the vending machine again? 142 00:06:09,270 --> 00:06:10,490 $2 for ginger ale? 143 00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:12,900 They're trying to crush us like ants! 144 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:16,140 No, there's a lot of bad energy in this office. 145 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,900 Yo, Josh, what the fuck? 146 00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:43,300 What the fuck, Tracey? 147 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,900 You changed the security code without telling me? 148 00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:47,120 Yeah, I'm working on sensitive shit, 149 00:06:47,150 --> 00:06:48,540 and I don't want prying eyes. 150 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:50,540 I'm prying eyes? I'm your supervisor. 151 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,290 Chief technical officer, lead systems engineer. 152 00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:54,900 Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows 153 00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,740 how to hack the security panel, so 154 00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:58,740 suck my dick. 155 00:06:58,870 --> 00:06:59,900 Nice. Okay. 156 00:06:59,910 --> 00:07:00,910 What are you working on? 157 00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,900 Oh, it's too complicated to explain. 158 00:07:03,070 --> 00:07:05,580 What is that, subroutine for duplex compression? 159 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:07,900 Don't tell me that's what I think it is. 160 00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:09,540 This is the future of Zenotek. 161 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,190 Hey, we should pitch this to Data City! 162 00:07:11,350 --> 00:07:12,700 That's a theory. 163 00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:14,900 You want to peg the company to a theory? 164 00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:17,220 Man, you used to get excited by big ideas. 165 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,900 Now you just bunt, and ask for the same thing over and over. 166 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:21,050 I swing for the fences. 167 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,530 And I'm going to change the fucking game. 168 00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,910 Okay. I need the specs for the Data City pitch, please. 169 00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:28,020 Already done. Here. 170 00:07:28,270 --> 00:07:29,700 Great. That was fast. 171 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,100 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 172 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:33,900 - Hey, are you okay? - Yeah. 173 00:07:33,910 --> 00:07:34,910 Really? Because you seem 174 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,560 a little off today. You seem a little weird. 175 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:37,730 - Well... - Oh, my gosh! 176 00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:39,900 Today is the day, right? Hey! 177 00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:41,860 Congratulations, you're free! 178 00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:44,020 You gonna get a back tattoo and some skinny jeans? 179 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,870 Funds are a little tight, but... 180 00:07:45,910 --> 00:07:46,910 It feels good to be free. 181 00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,220 Yeah. 182 00:07:48,310 --> 00:07:49,900 All right. Thank you for this. 183 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,260 - Hey, J. - Yeah? 184 00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,340 I got you for Secret Santa again. 185 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,900 I know. I got you, too. 186 00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:07,140 Oh, sweetie, that is so great! Mummy's so proud of you. 187 00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:08,900 Hey, could you put your daddy back 188 00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:09,950 on the phone for a second? 189 00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:12,580 - Hey, Allison. Is he ready? - You fucking motherfucker! 190 00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:14,500 If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend 191 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,700 put my children on her motorcycle one more time 192 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:18,580 I will Gone Girl you so hard! 193 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,950 - You can go in. - I'll just go in. Thank you. 194 00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:23,080 No, no, no. Don't try and sell this 195 00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:24,250 as some win-win situation. 196 00:08:24,510 --> 00:08:25,790 This is not my first rodeo, okay? 197 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,860 - Is that Data City? - No. 198 00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:28,940 No. 199 00:08:29,070 --> 00:08:30,700 Rick, do you want this deal or not? 200 00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:31,900 Because if you want him, 201 00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:32,890 you're gonna have to pay for him. 202 00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:33,940 It's almost the playoffs, 203 00:08:34,070 --> 00:08:35,780 not the second week of the regular season. 204 00:08:36,670 --> 00:08:38,780 Perfect. It's the right choice. 205 00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:42,660 I am running a train on this league. 206 00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:43,890 I... I don't think that that means 207 00:08:43,910 --> 00:08:44,910 what you want it to mean. 208 00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:47,430 I'd love to talk to you about the Data City pitch, 209 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:48,590 for later on this afternoon? 210 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:50,550 Yes, but first I want your opinion on something. 211 00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:51,780 We've got kind of a crisis. 212 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:54,900 This is what corporate wants us to give 213 00:08:54,950 --> 00:08:56,700 everyone for Christmas. Just this. 214 00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:58,460 Yeah, can't hand that out. 215 00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:00,460 And I'm already feeling kind of a 216 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:02,540 "fuck you" vibe down there, 217 00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:03,910 definitely not Christmas spirit. 218 00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:05,460 I can't argue with you there. 219 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,300 Good. I want to Secret Santa the shit 220 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:08,900 out of the staff meeting. Come on. 221 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,100 Can we work and walk? 222 00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:14,900 You're not cold without a big coat on? 223 00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:16,660 No, I gain fifteen pounds every winter 224 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:17,890 so I don't have to wear one. 225 00:09:18,030 --> 00:09:20,460 - Huh. That's a healthy choice. - Not really. 226 00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:23,230 Hey, are you bringing anybody to this wine and cheese thing? 227 00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:24,860 Uh, no, I'll be there solo. 228 00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:27,660 Good. Smart. So you can focus on Tracey, right? 229 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,860 Tracey and I work together. What are you talking about? 230 00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:33,140 I'm just saying. I can't be your work wife forever. 231 00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:34,880 Hey, how fast do you think you'd have to go 232 00:09:34,910 --> 00:09:36,500 - to make that jump? - Uh... 233 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,000 - Boy, I don't know. In a car? - Yeah. 234 00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:39,900 I just never thought about that. 235 00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:41,940 You know, your mind's like a drunk baby. 236 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:43,190 What do you think, 80 or 90? 237 00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,700 What would Vin do? Vin Diesel? Or Tyrese? 238 00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:48,700 They'd never make it, right? It's suicide. Unless 239 00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:50,520 you were going 120, you put a bunch of free weights 240 00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,030 in the trunk to even it out, you know, 241 00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:53,900 then you just catch air. Boosh! 242 00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:56,060 "Fuck you, gravity, and you, Dom Toretto!" 243 00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,260 Then... 244 00:09:57,910 --> 00:09:59,830 ...just a smooth landing, like a baby's buttocks. 245 00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:01,900 I'd love to pick this up indoors. 246 00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,760 You know, I've only ever seen the first film, 247 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:04,900 so I don't know if I'm much help to you 248 00:10:04,910 --> 00:10:06,050 in this conversation. So... 249 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:08,080 Are you serious? Why am I just hearing about this? 250 00:10:08,110 --> 00:10:09,480 We've worked together for eight years. 251 00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:11,940 They only get more fast! More furious! 252 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,900 I love this place. 253 00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:17,140 So, what would people want? Would they like... Ooh! 254 00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:19,860 Is this UV? Is UV good or bad? I forget. 255 00:10:20,070 --> 00:10:22,060 Not good for the eyes, no. 256 00:10:22,150 --> 00:10:23,320 Does it do anything here? 257 00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:24,460 Probably. Is this for 258 00:10:24,550 --> 00:10:25,680 - teeth whitening? - No. 259 00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,700 Okay, what about this, right? 260 00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:29,080 Everybody gets stressed at work... 261 00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,320 ...around this time of year. 262 00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:31,460 Huh. 263 00:10:31,550 --> 00:10:34,010 That could get you a sexual harassment suit. 264 00:10:34,110 --> 00:10:35,140 What? Why? 265 00:10:35,270 --> 00:10:36,900 Not everyone likes dildos for Christmas. 266 00:10:36,950 --> 00:10:39,140 This isn't a dildo. It's a body massager. 267 00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:41,650 Yeah, well, it's a circumcised purple penis. 268 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:43,020 It could be considered sexual. 269 00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:44,260 Why is it like that? 270 00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,340 Everything here could be considered sexual. 271 00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:48,340 Hey, what about this for Alan from legal? 272 00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:50,240 Well, Alan's bald. 273 00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:51,840 It's so hard to shop for the bald. 274 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:53,110 Who are they? What do they want? 275 00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:54,770 Hair. 276 00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:57,000 You know, maybe we should just go get some gift cards. 277 00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:58,500 That's exactly what we should do! 278 00:10:58,710 --> 00:10:59,900 "Here's a gift card because I don't know you 279 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,060 "and I don't care and I won't get in trouble for it." 280 00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:03,520 You know, when my dad ran this company, 281 00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:05,260 Christmas was actually a big deal. 282 00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:06,830 At the Christmas party every year, 283 00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:07,900 he would dress up like Santa Claus, 284 00:11:07,910 --> 00:11:09,700 get everybody fucked up. 285 00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:10,890 Yeah, you could back then. 286 00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:12,740 He would throw gifts into the crowd. 287 00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,900 Derek Peterson shattered his femur for a rotisserie set. 288 00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:18,030 And that was before Boston Chicken was, like, a thing. 289 00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:20,350 - I've heard those stories. - He took care of them. 290 00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:23,340 That's what I want for my people. You know? 291 00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:25,140 And I want that drone. 292 00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:27,940 Clay, let me ask you a question. 293 00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:32,580 You think that my management style is... Is too careful? 294 00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:35,060 Uh, do you think that I bunt 295 00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,900 instead of swing for the fences? 296 00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:39,060 I want to be completely honest with you, Josh. 297 00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,550 I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't hear your question. 298 00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:43,390 - I can repeat it. - I'd rather you didn't. 299 00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:45,860 Because I can tell by your face that it's serious. 300 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,580 And I want to tell you seriously, 301 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,900 it's almost Christmas. Relax. 302 00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,700 - You want some of this? - I think so. 303 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,240 - I don't think you do. - You sure? 304 00:11:53,270 --> 00:11:54,470 I think you better get moving. 305 00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:55,700 Uh-oh. Here he goes! 306 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,140 Huh? 307 00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:59,340 Eat that! Eat it, Clay! 308 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,190 Careful, careful, careful! 309 00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:05,860 We're good. 310 00:12:06,270 --> 00:12:07,460 Oh, no! 311 00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:11,780 Oh... 312 00:12:23,590 --> 00:12:25,660 Hey! 313 00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:50,020 Ooh, somebody is getting fired. 314 00:12:52,870 --> 00:12:55,100 Hey, uh, Allison? Right? 315 00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:56,860 - Yeah. - I'm Fred. 316 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:57,910 I just joined accounting. 317 00:12:58,470 --> 00:12:59,530 Hi. 318 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:02,460 Um, so, I saw that photo on your desk. 319 00:13:02,550 --> 00:13:03,660 Are those your kids? 320 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,860 - Yep. They're two and four. - Oh. 321 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,660 I'm a single mum. Ugh. 322 00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:09,090 That's great. 323 00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:11,530 - I was raised by a single mum. - Really? 324 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,190 Yeah. If you ask me, Tupac was right. 325 00:13:13,310 --> 00:13:14,640 "Ain't a woman alive 326 00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:16,300 "that could take my mama's place." 327 00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,740 I don't know that song. 328 00:13:20,310 --> 00:13:21,500 Oh, shit. 329 00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,300 Allison. 330 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,230 - Where's Clay? - He's unreachable. 331 00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:28,930 He's participating in a conference... Summit... 332 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,900 Elon Musk, uh, 333 00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,790 tech participation... Relay. 334 00:13:33,950 --> 00:13:35,340 Let's try that again. 335 00:13:35,590 --> 00:13:36,900 Allison, where's Clay? 336 00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:38,900 - He's Christmas shopping. - Okay. 337 00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:40,780 I would like all department heads 338 00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:42,780 in the conference room in five minutes. 339 00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:44,680 Tell him to stop looking at me. 340 00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:45,740 Look away. 341 00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:49,900 Ooh. No, he's cute. Oh. 342 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:51,330 Actually... 343 00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,660 It's like the calling never stops. 344 00:13:53,870 --> 00:13:55,460 I know. It's so annoying. 345 00:13:59,870 --> 00:14:02,940 Ugh! You have got to be shitting me. 346 00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:06,060 So the bartender says, 347 00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:07,880 "We don't see many gorillas." And the gorilla says, 348 00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:10,340 "Well, at $12 for a martini I can see why not." 349 00:14:10,590 --> 00:14:11,900 You know a lot of gorilla jokes. 350 00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:14,060 - Yeah. - Excuse me. 351 00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,940 What's going on? Something's off. 352 00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:18,900 Yeah, everyone's working. 353 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,100 Oh, shitster. 354 00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:22,900 It's my sister. 355 00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:25,890 There she is! My sister from another mister! 356 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,260 I'm kidding, our mother 357 00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:28,640 didn't start having affairs until the mid-90s. 358 00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:29,700 What are you doing here? 359 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,700 Well, we were just going over your fourth quarter earnings. 360 00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,440 And I wondered if I was missing something. 361 00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:35,690 Probably. 362 00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:37,860 Clay, why don't you have a seat? 363 00:14:38,590 --> 00:14:42,130 Uh, no. It's my branch, so I prefer to stand. 364 00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:43,850 Fine. 365 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,900 Allison, would you please remove Clay's chair? 366 00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:49,510 - Uh, sure. - Thank you. 367 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:50,910 Sorry. 368 00:14:51,710 --> 00:14:52,900 Thank you, Allison. 369 00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:56,900 So we were all a little bit disappointed 370 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,140 not to hit 7% growth in this last quarter. 371 00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:02,340 But 6.5% is right on industry standard for the fall. 372 00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:04,900 Mmm-mmm. You need to hit 12%. 373 00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:07,260 - Twelve? - Twelve is the new seven. 374 00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:08,570 - What? - Since when? 375 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:10,020 Since Dad died 376 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,780 and the board made me CEO. 377 00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:13,900 Oh. You mean interim CEO. 378 00:15:14,110 --> 00:15:18,100 Shut up. Listen, essentially, this branch is failing. 379 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:19,900 6.5% is not failing. 380 00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:21,060 Yes, it is. 381 00:15:21,150 --> 00:15:22,320 We're doing better than Orlando. 382 00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:24,900 I mean, half those jack-offs had mono last year, right? 383 00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:28,900 Well, I closed the Orlando branch. This morning. 384 00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:31,130 What? 385 00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:35,260 I am sorry. 386 00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:38,700 Damn it. I hate tension, and I... 387 00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,260 I farted. 388 00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:41,540 - Wow. - You are not 389 00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:42,890 selling enough servers. 390 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,900 You have no new ideas and there is no new revenue. 391 00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:49,140 - I have something new. - Really? 392 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:50,900 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do. 393 00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:52,840 - It's not ready. - It is ready. 394 00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,460 - It's not ready. - It is ready. 395 00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:55,890 - Uh, we can hear you. - Yeah, sorry. 396 00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,900 We can. It's a completely silent room. 397 00:15:58,110 --> 00:15:59,300 Go ahead. 398 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,740 What's the most annoying thing about the Internet? 399 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,860 - Pictures of people's kids. - Linkedln invites. 400 00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:08,060 My girlfriend's always on it. I have a girlfriend. 401 00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:10,900 The lack of Asian male representation in porn. 402 00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:13,060 Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield. 403 00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:15,340 Oh, you know that orange with the human dick? 404 00:16:15,590 --> 00:16:16,900 Oh, my God, what is this, Shark Tank? 405 00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:18,390 Can you just get to the point, please? 406 00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:21,330 - It's getting on the Internet. - Mmm. 407 00:16:22,910 --> 00:16:24,720 So we can already connect to the Internet 408 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:25,890 through standard electrical lines 409 00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:27,780 and obviously we can do it through the air. 410 00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,940 But what if we could combine those technologies? 411 00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:33,020 With Zenotek AnywAir, 412 00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:34,480 you can pull the Internet wirelessly 413 00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,780 from anything that's connected to a power grid. 414 00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:40,260 Your appliances. Street lights. A light bulb. 415 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,900 You're never out of range, and you're never low on signal. 416 00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:45,740 It's AnywAir. 417 00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:48,300 We're in the future. 418 00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,540 And you can deliver that? 419 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,130 I'm still figuring out some coding issues, but yes. 420 00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:55,900 Well, how long have you been figuring? 421 00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:57,900 - Four years. - Four years? 422 00:16:58,270 --> 00:17:00,340 All right, well, that doesn't sound very real to me. 423 00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:02,660 Well, if it was real, I wouldn't have to invent it. 424 00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,060 I'm sorry, 425 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:06,060 - what's your name again? - Tracey Hughes. 426 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,260 And if you forget again, 427 00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:09,150 it's on all of the recent patents for Zenotek. 428 00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:11,010 Mmm-hmm. 429 00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:12,330 You know what? I'm gonna sit. 430 00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:15,260 Not because you told me to, but because I 431 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,050 prefer it. 432 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:19,130 So... 433 00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:21,700 Mmm-hmm. 434 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:25,700 - Is there anything else? - Actually, yes. 435 00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:29,940 This is a sample cheeseboard for our holiday mixer tonight. 436 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,990 I know it's a little heavy on the Gouda... 437 00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:33,580 That was the MVP last year. 438 00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:35,900 Uh, I do have a feisty Cheddar on the bench. 439 00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:37,150 I think that pairs better with 440 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,900 the mulled non-alcoholic wine myself, but what do I know? 441 00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:41,500 Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Excuse me. 442 00:17:41,590 --> 00:17:43,120 You're having a Christmas party tonight? 443 00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:44,500 Oh, it's not a Christmas party! 444 00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:47,150 It's a non-denominational holiday mixer. 445 00:17:47,510 --> 00:17:48,570 More inclusive. 446 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:51,100 Well, whatever the fuck it is, it's not happening. 447 00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:53,310 Yeah, it's definitely... Well, it's not "happenin"' 448 00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:55,270 because it happens at 5:30 in the afternoon. 449 00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,450 It's just a small thing 450 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:58,080 that's really important to all of us, but 451 00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,460 trust me, it's gonna suck. 452 00:18:00,550 --> 00:18:03,010 No, it's not gonna suck, because it's cancelled. 453 00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:04,460 What? 454 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,460 All branch Christmas parties are cancelled. 455 00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:07,580 It's a waste of money! 456 00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:09,700 Come on. What are you guys not getting? 457 00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:11,780 All right, it's cancelled. 458 00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:13,060 It's not. 459 00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:15,340 Clay! I mean it. 460 00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,260 Me, too, Carol. Guys, 461 00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:18,760 the holiday mixer is cancelled. 462 00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:19,850 Yes. 463 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,340 Hey! It's cancelled, Clay! 464 00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,900 The thing is not happening at all. 465 00:18:23,910 --> 00:18:25,040 I'm not messing with you. 466 00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,580 Hey! Stop doing that! 467 00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:28,940 Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you. 468 00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:31,890 I saw that! You whispered to the farty cheese lady. 469 00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:32,940 Well... 470 00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,500 Don't make me pull rank, Clay. 471 00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,100 It is cancelled. 472 00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:38,700 Fine! 473 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:41,060 Then this meeting is cancelled! Huh? 474 00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:47,660 Damn it! 475 00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:50,740 I was keeping it light in there. 476 00:18:50,870 --> 00:18:51,900 That was light, huh? 477 00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,900 You have to give her a break, Josh. She's hated parties 478 00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:55,910 ever since she started not getting invited to them. 479 00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:58,460 Please. That party's the least of your problems. 480 00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:01,130 Is that Dad? 481 00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:03,220 No, Carol, I just have some random guy's 482 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,780 ashes in my office. 483 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:05,910 Got it online. 484 00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:09,020 Yes. He wanted them here, with me, at his branch. 485 00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:11,660 I thought they were gonna divide him equally. 486 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:12,880 It's not my fault that he always liked 487 00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:13,890 hanging out with me more. 488 00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:15,900 I don't care. I got this company. 489 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:17,460 Moving on. 490 00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:19,740 We have a lot of big cuts to make. Okay? 491 00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:22,020 Obviously, bonuses are cancelled. 492 00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:24,900 You know, there's a lot of people that 493 00:19:24,910 --> 00:19:26,340 are relying on those bonuses. 494 00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:28,780 I suppose you're still getting your bonus, though. 495 00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:30,900 Secondly, I'm laying off 40% of your staff. 496 00:19:30,910 --> 00:19:32,340 Forty? 497 00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:35,900 Forty? We have 200 employees. That's like, 60... 498 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,540 - Some... - That's 80. It's 80. 499 00:19:38,870 --> 00:19:40,540 Eighty. That's, like, 80 employees. 500 00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:41,730 Uh, you got to give us 501 00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:42,900 a little bit of time to turn this around. 502 00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:44,830 Fine, then you have until the end of the quarter. 503 00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:47,660 - That's two days. - Is it? Oh, well. 504 00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:49,010 This is unfair. 505 00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:50,460 You wanna talk unfair? 506 00:19:50,550 --> 00:19:52,580 How about Dad skipping my Harvard graduation 507 00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:53,910 to go with you to the X Games? 508 00:19:54,030 --> 00:19:55,540 And you weren't even competing. 509 00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:57,740 You just sponsored some guy's wakeboard. 510 00:19:57,910 --> 00:20:00,260 He got the bronze. Which is brown gold. 511 00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:03,720 All right, so I've made a list of my first round of layoffs. 512 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,870 So you might wanna get a pen 513 00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:06,640 - and start writing these down. - No. Let me see that. 514 00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:07,890 - No. No. - Give me that. 515 00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:09,900 - No! - These are my employees! 516 00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:11,880 Guys, are we sure about this? 517 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:13,220 Say you won't make budget cuts. 518 00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:14,340 I swear to God, Clay! 519 00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:15,640 Here comes the loogie express! 520 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:16,760 - Don't you dare! - Say, "Everybody's 521 00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:18,790 - "gonna get a bonus," or else. - You motherfucker. 522 00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:21,700 Suck that back in. You suck that back in! You mother... 523 00:20:21,910 --> 00:20:23,900 Clay. 524 00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:25,900 Oh, my God! 525 00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:27,700 Why do you do this to yourself? 526 00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:29,460 You know I took nine years of Krav Maga. 527 00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:31,580 Carol, you know, he's turning blue. 528 00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:34,060 Yeah. Our family, you got to tap out. 529 00:20:34,510 --> 00:20:36,500 Tap out. Tap out. 530 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,260 Okay. 531 00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:41,940 All right. You okay? 532 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:46,020 Dad gave you a free pass your entire life, 533 00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:47,940 and you're not getting one from me. 534 00:20:48,350 --> 00:20:49,920 The only way you're gonna hit your targets this year 535 00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:52,250 is by cutting jobs. 536 00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:54,910 Hey, what if we landed 537 00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:56,500 the Data City account? 538 00:20:57,910 --> 00:21:00,260 - Data City? Walter Davis? - That's right. 539 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,580 You do know that he's already met with HP, 540 00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:03,770 Cisco and Oracle. 541 00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:05,460 Yeah, but he hasn't heard our pitch. 542 00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:06,690 No. 543 00:21:06,870 --> 00:21:08,900 Josh and I have been drilling into it for weeks. 544 00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:10,900 Yeah. Months. Whole team. 545 00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,340 And we have a meeting 546 00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:13,900 - with him this afternoon. - Yeah. 547 00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,290 All right. 548 00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:19,220 Well, I'm on a flight to London tonight. 549 00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:22,660 So if by some miracle you guys can close Walter Davis 550 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:24,900 and his $14 million contract 551 00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,900 by the time I land at Heathrow, 552 00:21:27,150 --> 00:21:28,580 the jobs are safe. 553 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:29,900 Done! 554 00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:32,220 And you'll see, you're gonna look so stupid. 555 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,900 Then we'll finally have something in common. 556 00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:39,540 Goddamn it! She's so mean! 557 00:21:40,150 --> 00:21:42,780 People are saying "cuts." What kind of cuts? 558 00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,500 Oh, nothing's official. 559 00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:45,840 Guys, I can barely afford my rent. 560 00:21:45,870 --> 00:21:46,930 I'm sleeping in a closet. 561 00:21:47,070 --> 00:21:48,100 Don't panic. 562 00:21:48,230 --> 00:21:49,320 You can't replace the new guy, right? 563 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,920 You're probably gonna go with people that are older, 564 00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:52,120 - more expensive? - Don't overreact. 565 00:21:52,150 --> 00:21:55,060 I just bought that used Lexus, Josh. I can't give it back. 566 00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:56,740 I put rims on it, man! 567 00:21:56,910 --> 00:21:59,060 I have six parrots with very expensive medical issues. 568 00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:00,260 You know this. 569 00:22:00,350 --> 00:22:01,900 I'm gonna have to put one down. 570 00:22:01,910 --> 00:22:03,780 - Nobody is losing their jobs! - Yeah. 571 00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:06,500 That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise. 572 00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:08,860 Your promises are dog shit! 573 00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:12,500 - Boy, they turned quick. - Yeah, they sure did. 574 00:22:15,310 --> 00:22:17,870 Jesus. Incest and rape? 575 00:22:18,230 --> 00:22:19,660 I mean, that is dark. 576 00:22:20,110 --> 00:22:21,900 That could be a different Clay. 577 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:23,580 And Carol. 578 00:22:23,790 --> 00:22:24,980 We got to land this pitch. 579 00:22:26,350 --> 00:22:28,140 Okay, everybody knows what we're doing? 580 00:22:28,350 --> 00:22:30,590 Sure. We're just pitching to save our company. No biggie. 581 00:22:30,790 --> 00:22:32,440 And we're proving that my sister doesn't fuck me. 582 00:22:32,470 --> 00:22:34,140 - If anything, I fuck her! - All right. 583 00:22:34,350 --> 00:22:36,910 Yeah, listen, I get the spirit of that, but... 584 00:22:37,110 --> 00:22:39,100 We at Zenotek put the "client" 585 00:22:39,310 --> 00:22:42,900 in client-server model service distribution. 586 00:22:43,310 --> 00:22:45,100 And this is a leave-behind. 587 00:22:45,750 --> 00:22:47,260 And we have some new innovation 588 00:22:47,350 --> 00:22:50,260 that we can talk to you about later. Later. 589 00:22:50,590 --> 00:22:53,660 You got to... You got to go with us. 590 00:22:53,950 --> 00:22:55,340 Okay. 591 00:22:58,150 --> 00:22:59,900 Thank you for the pitch. 592 00:23:00,270 --> 00:23:03,340 Just give me a beat, and I'll let you know my decision. 593 00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:07,860 Okay. When you say "beat," you're talking about an hour 594 00:23:07,910 --> 00:23:09,220 or a day? A full day? 595 00:23:09,550 --> 00:23:11,540 Certainly before the holidays, I'd imagine, right? 596 00:23:11,910 --> 00:23:15,300 Listen, it's Christmas, so, I'll be honest. 597 00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:18,140 Your servers are good. 598 00:23:18,590 --> 00:23:21,260 Dell's servers are good. 599 00:23:21,870 --> 00:23:23,220 - So... - You're gonna go with us. 600 00:23:24,110 --> 00:23:25,900 - I'm gonna go with Dell. - Fuck! 601 00:23:25,910 --> 00:23:27,130 - Why? - Don't. 602 00:23:27,350 --> 00:23:28,570 I... I know your product. 603 00:23:28,710 --> 00:23:30,900 My problem is with your culture. 604 00:23:31,590 --> 00:23:33,260 Our culture is great. 605 00:23:33,670 --> 00:23:34,890 That's not what I hear. 606 00:23:34,910 --> 00:23:37,210 Word is you're closing branches and making layoffs. 607 00:23:37,470 --> 00:23:39,220 - That's not true. - No, that's barely true. 608 00:23:39,470 --> 00:23:40,940 A mixture of fabrication and rumour. 609 00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:43,710 Look, I get it. You got to make money. 610 00:23:43,910 --> 00:23:45,860 And every quarter you got to make more money. 611 00:23:45,950 --> 00:23:47,340 And if you got to fire some people 612 00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:49,500 and cut back on some benefits to make it happen, 613 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:51,700 that's what business is now, right? 614 00:23:51,910 --> 00:23:53,940 And as long as the board has gotten its bonus 615 00:23:54,070 --> 00:23:56,340 and the stock is ticking up? Come on. 616 00:23:56,550 --> 00:23:57,660 Sir, that's not who we are. 617 00:23:57,750 --> 00:23:59,590 If you came to our offices, you would see that. 618 00:23:59,710 --> 00:24:00,950 You should come meet our people. 619 00:24:01,270 --> 00:24:02,470 Yeah, we're a family business. 620 00:24:02,550 --> 00:24:03,790 Everyone loves everyone. 621 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:05,260 I mean, Clay and his sister, 622 00:24:05,350 --> 00:24:07,910 they're so close it's almost inappropriate. 623 00:24:08,910 --> 00:24:11,140 We would love the opportunity to prove you wrong. 624 00:24:11,590 --> 00:24:14,150 I'm sure you have wonderful cubicles and great carpeting, 625 00:24:14,350 --> 00:24:16,060 but I've done those tours before. 626 00:24:16,510 --> 00:24:17,900 I'm gonna pass. 627 00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:18,940 Um... 628 00:24:19,110 --> 00:24:20,140 Thank you so much. 629 00:24:20,270 --> 00:24:21,330 Oh, we got that. 630 00:24:21,510 --> 00:24:23,540 Oh, no, they've already put it on my room. 631 00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:24,880 And in addition to the breakfast 632 00:24:24,910 --> 00:24:27,210 my company won't pay for anymore. 633 00:24:27,870 --> 00:24:28,900 Good luck, guys. 634 00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:32,060 Great. That was uplifting. 635 00:24:32,230 --> 00:24:33,260 He's saying we suck. 636 00:24:33,350 --> 00:24:34,900 Our big closer was a thumb drive. 637 00:24:34,910 --> 00:24:35,910 Yeah, but we don't suck. 638 00:24:35,950 --> 00:24:37,280 We just need a way to show him that. 639 00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:38,480 How are we gonna do that? We're gonna 640 00:24:38,510 --> 00:24:40,470 invite him to our cancelled wine and cheese night? 641 00:24:40,510 --> 00:24:42,020 No, we should take him out for real. 642 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:43,320 I mean, you heard him. His company 643 00:24:43,350 --> 00:24:44,740 won't even buy him breakfast. 644 00:24:44,910 --> 00:24:46,900 He's an old school guy who drinks scotch at lunch. 645 00:24:47,230 --> 00:24:49,460 We should take him out and show him a great time. 646 00:24:49,670 --> 00:24:50,880 So we'll hook him up with Don Draper, 647 00:24:50,910 --> 00:24:52,840 then go out and get a couple of steaks and an STD. 648 00:24:52,870 --> 00:24:54,860 No, no, no. You're both right. 649 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:55,890 We show him a great time 650 00:24:55,910 --> 00:24:57,900 at our office Christmas party tonight. 651 00:24:57,950 --> 00:24:59,260 What? I didn't say that. 652 00:24:59,510 --> 00:25:00,900 - It's not the worst idea. - Right? 653 00:25:00,950 --> 00:25:02,120 Of course it is. We don't even have 654 00:25:02,150 --> 00:25:03,210 an office Christmas party. 655 00:25:03,310 --> 00:25:05,030 Carol said no to all discretionary spending. 656 00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:06,900 She wants to lay off 40%. You want to double that? 657 00:25:06,910 --> 00:25:08,500 My sister doesn't do anything at 40%. 658 00:25:08,710 --> 00:25:09,840 She's just cutting off our legs 659 00:25:09,870 --> 00:25:10,900 so we can't run away when she 660 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,350 wants to fucking curb-stomp our face. 661 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,140 This is the way we close Walter. 662 00:25:14,350 --> 00:25:16,390 We throw the best Christmas party he's ever been to. 663 00:25:16,510 --> 00:25:18,700 He loves it, he loves us, he sees we care about people, 664 00:25:18,790 --> 00:25:19,900 he falls in love with our culture, 665 00:25:19,910 --> 00:25:20,940 he wants to work with us. 666 00:25:21,150 --> 00:25:23,140 This is how we save everybody's job! 667 00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:25,140 I like it, Josh. Say yes. 668 00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:27,340 He's walking away, unless you have a better idea. 669 00:25:28,910 --> 00:25:29,950 That's your approval sigh. 670 00:25:30,710 --> 00:25:31,900 Walter? 671 00:25:32,590 --> 00:25:34,300 We have one more pitch for you. 672 00:25:34,470 --> 00:25:35,500 Do you party? 673 00:25:37,910 --> 00:25:39,130 I used to. 674 00:26:00,590 --> 00:26:01,900 Okay, so we have to throw 675 00:26:01,910 --> 00:26:03,900 a massive party from scratch in 676 00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:05,140 five hours. 677 00:26:05,270 --> 00:26:07,120 Yeah. And we got an office full of pissed-off employees. 678 00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:09,240 You guys, I got this. I have a black belt in partying. 679 00:26:09,270 --> 00:26:10,840 That's why I got kicked out of boarding school 680 00:26:10,870 --> 00:26:11,900 and two intensive care units. 681 00:26:11,910 --> 00:26:14,780 Listen. Did you see this? "It's F-ing Christmas, B's. 682 00:26:14,910 --> 00:26:16,130 "Let's get mother-F-ing drunk. 683 00:26:16,270 --> 00:26:17,900 - "Attendance mandatory." - Yeah. 684 00:26:17,950 --> 00:26:19,060 Lawsuit! 685 00:26:19,150 --> 00:26:20,630 Mary, it's for the greater good, okay? 686 00:26:20,910 --> 00:26:22,080 Oh, Joel, would you do me a favour? 687 00:26:22,110 --> 00:26:23,320 Would you get Fred up to Clay's office? 688 00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:24,510 - Oh, yeah, sure. - Thank you. 689 00:26:24,550 --> 00:26:25,900 - Wait! - Yup. 690 00:26:25,910 --> 00:26:27,040 I don't know if it's helpful, 691 00:26:27,070 --> 00:26:28,200 but regarding the music tonight, 692 00:26:28,230 --> 00:26:30,190 I happen to have a friend who's a pretty good D.J. 693 00:26:30,710 --> 00:26:31,900 Great. Bring him. 694 00:26:32,150 --> 00:26:33,900 - See, we already got a D.J. - Yep. 695 00:26:34,070 --> 00:26:35,900 Um, so let me get this straight. 696 00:26:35,910 --> 00:26:38,290 Now we're having this great party 697 00:26:38,470 --> 00:26:40,260 and we're getting our bonuses at it. 698 00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:42,940 Yes, Jeremy, because you deserve it! 699 00:26:43,150 --> 00:26:45,140 Maybe you shouldn't have promised them bonuses. 700 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:46,350 No, first rule of business: 701 00:26:46,510 --> 00:26:48,890 Shoot for the moon and you'll land on the sun. 702 00:26:48,910 --> 00:26:50,660 I'd love to know where you read that. 703 00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:52,270 And let's just focus on closing Walter. 704 00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:53,900 You know, Carol burned this place to the ground. 705 00:26:53,910 --> 00:26:55,940 We are planting the seeds of a new dawn. 706 00:26:57,270 --> 00:26:59,020 Smitty? Clay Vanstone. 707 00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:00,220 No, I'm not dead. That was 708 00:27:00,310 --> 00:27:01,640 just a rumour, although well-founded. 709 00:27:01,670 --> 00:27:03,390 How much alcohol can I legally buy from you? 710 00:27:09,590 --> 00:27:10,700 Move out of my way. 711 00:27:10,790 --> 00:27:13,060 I swear to God, I will drop this on your back. Move! 712 00:27:13,270 --> 00:27:14,660 You know what? 713 00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:16,900 Merry Christmas, you sweet motherfucker. Ah! 714 00:27:17,030 --> 00:27:18,120 - You're coming, yeah, Smitty? - Yes. 715 00:27:18,150 --> 00:27:19,430 - Yes! Okay. You want this? - No. 716 00:27:19,470 --> 00:27:20,530 All right. 717 00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:27,260 I'm keeping this lamb. 718 00:27:29,710 --> 00:27:30,770 We need something else, 719 00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:31,890 something that will make us look cool. 720 00:27:31,910 --> 00:27:33,880 Does anybody know anybody who knows the Kanye West? 721 00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:34,890 No. 722 00:27:34,910 --> 00:27:36,700 But my girlfriend does P.R. for the Bulls. 723 00:27:36,910 --> 00:27:38,200 Okay, does your girlfriend have a friend who knows 724 00:27:38,230 --> 00:27:39,900 the man that makes us call him Yeezy? 725 00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:42,060 Nate, what's up, man? Did you see? 726 00:27:42,270 --> 00:27:44,780 Significant others are welcome at the party. Look at that. 727 00:27:44,910 --> 00:27:46,120 Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca. 728 00:27:46,150 --> 00:27:47,290 Yeah! 729 00:27:47,550 --> 00:27:48,580 Um, oh, shoot. 730 00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:51,700 Uh, except she's working late tonight. Modelling. 731 00:27:51,910 --> 00:27:53,260 Is she shooting the cover 732 00:27:53,350 --> 00:27:54,900 of Full of Shit magazine? 733 00:27:55,270 --> 00:27:57,260 You know what? She's gonna be there. 734 00:27:57,590 --> 00:28:00,050 You guys! Nate's girlfriend's coming! 735 00:28:00,750 --> 00:28:03,340 Shit! Match, match, match. Match! Come on. 736 00:28:05,910 --> 00:28:09,340 Okay. Um, what are we gonna do with these after the party? 737 00:28:09,710 --> 00:28:10,770 Raffle. 738 00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:26,940 For a failing branch, we're surprisingly productive. 739 00:28:27,510 --> 00:28:29,500 Yeah, I just wish Carol could see this. 740 00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:31,900 Uh, no, Clay, that would be very bad. 741 00:28:32,070 --> 00:28:33,260 Yeah, you're right. 742 00:28:33,510 --> 00:28:34,720 All right, go put on your party suits. 743 00:28:34,750 --> 00:28:35,830 - Yeah. - Tonight's gonna be 744 00:28:35,910 --> 00:28:36,910 a great night. 745 00:29:00,470 --> 00:29:01,500 Clay, I told you, 746 00:29:01,590 --> 00:29:03,500 I don't need to do any pre-game for... 747 00:29:04,150 --> 00:29:05,900 - Carol. - Pre-game for what? 748 00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:08,700 For the, uh, work session we got tonight. 749 00:29:08,910 --> 00:29:10,660 And to complete... 750 00:29:10,750 --> 00:29:12,000 We're closing Walter Davis, you know? 751 00:29:12,030 --> 00:29:13,230 It's going really, really well. 752 00:29:13,550 --> 00:29:15,040 - Hmm. - Phase one's complete. 753 00:29:15,070 --> 00:29:16,290 Why don't you come on in? 754 00:29:16,470 --> 00:29:17,830 I thought you were going to London. 755 00:29:17,910 --> 00:29:20,140 I was on my way to the airport, 756 00:29:20,350 --> 00:29:22,060 but I thought I would stop by and 757 00:29:22,590 --> 00:29:24,580 have a tour of your bachelor pad. 758 00:29:26,910 --> 00:29:28,340 Well, that didn't take long. 759 00:29:28,910 --> 00:29:30,500 How did you know about my divorce? 760 00:29:30,710 --> 00:29:33,270 Oh, you changed your emergency contact to "self." 761 00:29:33,590 --> 00:29:34,700 And nobody single by choice 762 00:29:34,790 --> 00:29:36,040 would live this close to the freeway. 763 00:29:36,070 --> 00:29:37,900 Is that robe why your wife left you? 764 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:39,050 What do you want, Carol? 765 00:29:39,150 --> 00:29:40,900 I want you to work for me in New York. 766 00:29:40,910 --> 00:29:42,900 You basically run this branch without the credit. 767 00:29:43,030 --> 00:29:45,330 I will double your salary, you'll get job security, 768 00:29:45,790 --> 00:29:47,660 and a boss who doesn't end every memo 769 00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:48,890 with a quote from Aerosmith. 770 00:29:49,470 --> 00:29:52,900 I could never do that to Clay, and I'm very happy where I am. 771 00:29:53,270 --> 00:29:54,300 - Really? - Yeah. 772 00:29:54,470 --> 00:29:55,900 I don't see happy. 773 00:29:56,910 --> 00:30:01,700 I see crappy. And a rug that makes me sad. 774 00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:04,100 Anyway, um... 775 00:30:04,550 --> 00:30:05,660 I don't know, 776 00:30:05,750 --> 00:30:07,580 just think about it. When the branch closes, 777 00:30:07,910 --> 00:30:10,900 and Clay has a trust fund to fall back on, 778 00:30:11,270 --> 00:30:12,900 what are you gonna have? 779 00:30:13,510 --> 00:30:14,900 Not much. 780 00:30:15,270 --> 00:30:16,900 Merry Christmas! 781 00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:27,900 - Thank you. - You got it. 782 00:30:31,710 --> 00:30:33,780 Hey, man. Good to see you. Hi. 783 00:30:34,230 --> 00:30:35,260 Eight years 784 00:30:35,350 --> 00:30:36,760 - I've been working here. - Turn around. 785 00:30:36,790 --> 00:30:38,780 What are you hoping to find anyway, Carla? 786 00:30:38,910 --> 00:30:40,070 What's your dream contraband? 787 00:30:40,270 --> 00:30:41,900 I just like making you my bitch. 788 00:30:41,910 --> 00:30:43,780 - You can go. - Thank you. 789 00:30:44,230 --> 00:30:45,900 - Josh. - Wow! You look like 790 00:30:45,910 --> 00:30:47,900 Cinderella, if she joined the TSA. 791 00:30:49,030 --> 00:30:51,860 Very, very nice. Okay, take a look at this, please. 792 00:30:51,910 --> 00:30:53,020 Ooh, who's Mr December? 793 00:30:53,110 --> 00:30:54,460 This is Walter Davis, he's a VIP. 794 00:30:54,670 --> 00:30:56,120 I want you to do me a favour and let me know the second 795 00:30:56,150 --> 00:30:57,310 he comes in. Can you do that? 796 00:30:57,550 --> 00:30:59,080 You will hear the sound of heavy flirting. 797 00:30:59,110 --> 00:31:00,940 Or just a text. That'd be great. 798 00:31:01,150 --> 00:31:02,500 And are you gonna join us later? 799 00:31:02,590 --> 00:31:04,040 No, I doubt it. I have to protect the front lines, 800 00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:05,580 make sure no crazy stuff happens. 801 00:31:05,710 --> 00:31:07,900 But if it does... I'm ready. 802 00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,700 And you went with the yellow. Smart. 803 00:31:09,790 --> 00:31:10,850 Right? 804 00:31:11,150 --> 00:31:12,500 Hey. 805 00:31:14,150 --> 00:31:16,900 - How's everyone doing tonight? - Great. 806 00:31:17,110 --> 00:31:18,740 - It's my birthday. - Ah. 807 00:31:19,030 --> 00:31:21,300 Really committing. That's nice. 808 00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:26,220 Hey, look at that! 809 00:31:26,710 --> 00:31:28,020 - Hi. - Hey, there, Susan. 810 00:31:28,590 --> 00:31:30,150 - Nice reindeer, right? - How you doin'? 811 00:31:30,310 --> 00:31:31,560 Throw that in coat check for me please. 812 00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:33,220 Thank you. You look great. Oh. 813 00:31:33,670 --> 00:31:34,890 - Hey, Josh. - Hey, Dean. 814 00:31:35,030 --> 00:31:36,750 You... You thought you'd bring the kid, huh? 815 00:31:37,030 --> 00:31:39,220 Yeah. We couldn't get anyone to watch him. 816 00:31:39,470 --> 00:31:40,900 But don't worry, he has an iPad. 817 00:31:41,110 --> 00:31:43,280 We could axe murder each other and he wouldn't even notice. 818 00:31:43,310 --> 00:31:45,540 He'll just sit there with that dumb look on his face. 819 00:31:45,910 --> 00:31:47,340 Yeah, that's the one. 820 00:31:47,870 --> 00:31:50,860 Okay. Well, can you stick him in my office for me? 821 00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:53,500 - If you're cool with that. - Sure. Well, not cool, but... 822 00:31:53,710 --> 00:31:55,660 - Have a good time. - Thank you. 823 00:31:56,550 --> 00:31:58,060 All right. Let's drop him quick, 824 00:31:58,150 --> 00:32:00,530 because these edibles are gonna kick in any second. 825 00:32:17,590 --> 00:32:19,140 - Hey, Mr Parker. - Hey, Rodney. 826 00:32:19,350 --> 00:32:20,900 - Want a Zeno Punch? - No. 827 00:32:20,950 --> 00:32:22,780 - Foam finger? - Uh-uh, neither. 828 00:32:22,910 --> 00:32:25,580 And, you know, we can skip this, too. 829 00:32:25,790 --> 00:32:27,500 - Good spirit, though. Yep. - Okay. 830 00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:35,300 Could I have a beer, please? Pretty great, huh, Jeremy? 831 00:32:35,590 --> 00:32:38,260 Yeah, it's so weird, I feel like I'm still at the office. 832 00:32:38,510 --> 00:32:40,890 Yeah. Oh. Thank you. 833 00:33:08,910 --> 00:33:09,910 God, 834 00:33:10,310 --> 00:33:12,460 I know I haven't asked You for much in this life. 835 00:33:12,790 --> 00:33:14,580 Granted, I was born rich. 836 00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:17,940 And white. And male. And straight. 837 00:33:18,350 --> 00:33:21,580 Except for that one time. But that's Las Vegas. 838 00:33:22,910 --> 00:33:25,700 But tonight I need You to bless this party. 839 00:33:26,270 --> 00:33:27,940 This party has to rock. 840 00:33:28,350 --> 00:33:29,900 So we can get Walter's contract, 841 00:33:29,910 --> 00:33:31,780 so that everyone can keep their jobs, 842 00:33:31,910 --> 00:33:34,140 especially Allison. I mean, she is losing it! 843 00:33:34,590 --> 00:33:36,700 And she has all my personal information. 844 00:33:36,910 --> 00:33:39,020 And so that we can prove my sister wrong. 845 00:33:39,110 --> 00:33:41,140 Show her that I am a good boss. 846 00:33:44,910 --> 00:33:46,900 And will You say hi to our dad? 847 00:33:47,510 --> 00:33:49,500 And tell him we really miss him. 848 00:33:52,510 --> 00:33:54,500 And that I'm rocking his Santa suit. 849 00:33:54,590 --> 00:33:56,390 Oh, and tell Prince and David Bowie 850 00:33:56,470 --> 00:33:57,900 how much they meant to everybody. 851 00:33:57,910 --> 00:33:59,900 I mean, Labyrinth, Purple Rain... 852 00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:01,060 They know. 853 00:34:03,350 --> 00:34:04,540 All right, 854 00:34:04,870 --> 00:34:06,660 let's light this fucking candle. 855 00:34:24,350 --> 00:34:27,780 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Zenotek! 856 00:34:27,950 --> 00:34:29,500 It's me, Santa Claus! 857 00:34:29,910 --> 00:34:32,900 I'ma comin' to town for an epic night. Yay! 858 00:34:33,750 --> 00:34:34,890 Santa! 859 00:34:36,310 --> 00:34:37,900 That's okay, we'll get there. 860 00:34:41,910 --> 00:34:43,660 Watch this, Greg. 861 00:34:46,470 --> 00:34:48,540 Dean! Clear. I'm coming around. 862 00:34:50,470 --> 00:34:51,580 Oh, shit. 863 00:34:55,110 --> 00:34:56,300 Oh, God. 864 00:34:56,590 --> 00:34:57,900 It's okay! 865 00:34:58,790 --> 00:35:00,900 It's okay! That was part of it. 866 00:35:01,150 --> 00:35:03,220 Okay, Santa, what an entrance! 867 00:35:03,910 --> 00:35:06,470 Oh! Right down the chimney, folks! 868 00:35:06,670 --> 00:35:09,340 Merry Christmas, bitches! Santa can't be hurt. 869 00:35:09,790 --> 00:35:10,920 You doing okay? You all right? 870 00:35:10,950 --> 00:35:12,480 - That really did hurt, yeah... - Are you sure? 871 00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:14,150 But you know what, I had this for padding. 872 00:35:14,510 --> 00:35:16,300 Holy shit. What the fuck is that? 873 00:35:16,470 --> 00:35:17,880 Tell me that's not for something illegal. 874 00:35:17,910 --> 00:35:19,240 No, no, no. Don't worry, this is all mine. 875 00:35:19,270 --> 00:35:20,900 I rented one of those Money Tornados. 876 00:35:20,950 --> 00:35:22,340 So for the bonuses later, 877 00:35:22,510 --> 00:35:24,040 I'm gonna make it rain like a hurricane. 878 00:35:24,070 --> 00:35:25,560 Are you sure you're not getting carried away? 879 00:35:25,590 --> 00:35:27,240 This seems like a lot of money you're spending. 880 00:35:27,270 --> 00:35:28,900 Josh, this is Christmas, okay? 881 00:35:29,070 --> 00:35:31,900 And if anybody knows how to work within a budget, it's me. 882 00:35:31,910 --> 00:35:33,340 All right? And speaking of. 883 00:35:34,030 --> 00:35:35,460 There you go. Hi. 884 00:35:35,910 --> 00:35:36,890 - Cool. - Little Jesus. 885 00:35:36,910 --> 00:35:39,900 - Did you rent a live baby? - Yeah, for the nativity scene. 886 00:35:40,150 --> 00:35:41,900 What? It's cheaper than you think, okay? 887 00:35:42,070 --> 00:35:43,260 Is it? 888 00:35:47,510 --> 00:35:50,340 Oh, shit! DJ Calvis in the house tonight! 889 00:35:50,790 --> 00:35:51,900 Oh, God, no. 890 00:35:53,590 --> 00:35:55,940 Add my Snapchat: DJ Calvis. 891 00:35:56,350 --> 00:35:59,580 Joel's friend looks just like Joel. 892 00:36:00,910 --> 00:36:03,900 Ooh! Looks like some babies getting made tonight! 893 00:36:04,310 --> 00:36:06,540 I'm not looking to get pregnant tonight. 894 00:36:06,910 --> 00:36:07,910 Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. 895 00:36:08,030 --> 00:36:10,100 Joel, that's a red card for you. 896 00:36:10,230 --> 00:36:12,140 Um, babies are not getting made tonight, 897 00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:13,900 not here on company property. 898 00:36:13,910 --> 00:36:15,310 If you're going to have intercourse, 899 00:36:15,510 --> 00:36:17,140 please go beyond the flood lamps 900 00:36:17,270 --> 00:36:18,660 at the perimeter of the plaza 901 00:36:18,870 --> 00:36:20,900 and into the Rite Aid parking lot. 902 00:36:21,230 --> 00:36:23,740 That's right. 'Cause we fucking tonight! 903 00:36:23,910 --> 00:36:25,500 Joel. Language. 904 00:36:25,790 --> 00:36:27,940 This is still an office, and 905 00:36:28,150 --> 00:36:31,690 even though it's dark outside, the rules don't turn off. 906 00:36:31,950 --> 00:36:34,700 The rules may not turn off, but your inhibitions can! 907 00:36:34,910 --> 00:36:36,440 I'm talking about take your pee-pees out 908 00:36:36,470 --> 00:36:37,900 and put 'em in some booties! 909 00:36:39,550 --> 00:36:42,010 And remember that tonight the decisions you make 910 00:36:42,230 --> 00:36:45,100 will have consequences that will haunt you 911 00:36:45,230 --> 00:36:47,020 for the rest of your professional lives. 912 00:36:47,670 --> 00:36:48,860 And, um... 913 00:36:49,070 --> 00:36:50,700 And so have fun. 914 00:36:50,910 --> 00:36:52,900 Yeah, Mary, way to psyche everybody up! 915 00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:55,340 Main takeaway: If you're gonna fuck, 916 00:36:55,510 --> 00:36:56,650 do it in the parking lot. 917 00:36:56,750 --> 00:36:58,740 Turn it up! 918 00:37:08,910 --> 00:37:11,580 - Hey. - Hey! Someone cleans up nice. 919 00:37:11,910 --> 00:37:12,890 Oh... 920 00:37:12,910 --> 00:37:15,900 Yeah, I... I'm wearing the same clothes, from earlier. 921 00:37:16,310 --> 00:37:18,540 Oh, yeah. I was just making a party joke. 922 00:37:18,750 --> 00:37:20,500 I didn't want to go all the way home 923 00:37:20,590 --> 00:37:23,020 and then come back, so I just sat in my car and worked. 924 00:37:23,470 --> 00:37:26,460 Oh, also I was waiting for my phone to charge. 925 00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:29,900 Oh. So you're all charged up! 926 00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:33,260 What? 927 00:37:33,550 --> 00:37:35,540 I said you're all charged up. 928 00:37:35,910 --> 00:37:37,220 Yeah, my phone. 929 00:37:37,790 --> 00:37:39,260 Hey, the music is really loud. 930 00:37:39,350 --> 00:37:40,900 Do you want to go somewhere and talk? 931 00:37:41,270 --> 00:37:43,260 - Uh, yeah. - Okay. 932 00:37:52,550 --> 00:37:54,020 This is Zenotek. 933 00:37:54,230 --> 00:37:55,860 Oh, shit! 934 00:37:55,910 --> 00:37:57,780 That's Jimmy Butler right there! 935 00:37:57,910 --> 00:37:59,260 Who's Jimmy Butler? 936 00:37:59,510 --> 00:38:02,260 Two-time All-Star. Best player on my fantasy team. 937 00:38:02,710 --> 00:38:03,900 Fuck you, Butler! 938 00:38:03,950 --> 00:38:05,940 I don't know why I said that. Oh, fuck. 939 00:38:06,110 --> 00:38:07,310 These are great. You know what? 940 00:38:07,350 --> 00:38:08,740 Why don't you give me your number 941 00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:09,950 and I'll text these to you. 942 00:38:10,270 --> 00:38:11,700 Excuse me. Hey. Hi. 943 00:38:11,910 --> 00:38:13,900 - Jimmy, hey, this is Josh. - Hey. How you doing? 944 00:38:13,910 --> 00:38:15,580 So you the big man around here, huh? 945 00:38:15,790 --> 00:38:17,860 I'm not that big, no. I'm feeling small right now. 946 00:38:17,910 --> 00:38:19,500 Look at this. Good for you. 947 00:38:19,910 --> 00:38:21,050 Here's the big man! 948 00:38:21,270 --> 00:38:22,540 Jimmy Buckets. Clay Vanstone. 949 00:38:22,670 --> 00:38:24,470 Thanks for coming to our Christmas party, man. 950 00:38:24,590 --> 00:38:25,900 Of course. I've been trying to expand 951 00:38:25,910 --> 00:38:27,100 the Jimmy Butler empire 952 00:38:27,230 --> 00:38:28,340 into the tech space. 953 00:38:28,510 --> 00:38:29,880 I'm thinking Jimmy Butler dating app. 954 00:38:29,910 --> 00:38:31,900 - Maybe Butlerbook? - I like it. 955 00:38:31,950 --> 00:38:33,900 - Jimmyface? - These are all good ideas. 956 00:38:34,030 --> 00:38:36,120 Do you want to see the first processor that we ever made? 957 00:38:36,150 --> 00:38:38,270 It's as big as a mini-fridge and it used to set fires. 958 00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,920 It's upstairs with the good tequila. 959 00:38:39,950 --> 00:38:41,010 - Of course. - Casamigos. 960 00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,430 I'll save some for you. 961 00:38:42,510 --> 00:38:45,740 Geek yourself out! He's really into technology. 962 00:38:45,910 --> 00:38:47,660 Will you remind me, how do you know 963 00:38:47,750 --> 00:38:48,860 Jimmy Butler again? 964 00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:51,070 Remember, I told you my friend does P.R. for the Bulls? 965 00:38:51,230 --> 00:38:52,740 - Yes! Yeah. - Right. 966 00:38:53,550 --> 00:38:55,540 I thought that bringing a famous basketball player 967 00:38:55,670 --> 00:38:56,730 would help with Walter. 968 00:38:56,910 --> 00:38:58,350 - Ah. - You're cool with that, right? 969 00:38:58,910 --> 00:38:59,910 Why wouldn't I be cool? 970 00:39:00,030 --> 00:39:01,120 It's the greatest idea in the world. 971 00:39:01,150 --> 00:39:02,260 Of course I'm cool. 972 00:39:02,350 --> 00:39:03,780 - Very cool. Please. - Okay. 973 00:39:03,910 --> 00:39:05,900 Yeah. Mr Cool. I graduated valedictorian 974 00:39:05,910 --> 00:39:07,740 from Cool University! 975 00:39:07,910 --> 00:39:09,900 Good old C.U. 976 00:39:10,710 --> 00:39:11,740 Mmm-hmm. 977 00:39:12,590 --> 00:39:13,650 Okay. 978 00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:15,010 "C.U." later! 979 00:39:16,030 --> 00:39:17,900 Oh, Josh. 980 00:39:38,790 --> 00:39:39,850 Savannah? 981 00:39:39,950 --> 00:39:41,940 I think you mean Becca, right? 982 00:39:42,070 --> 00:39:43,780 Uh... 983 00:39:43,910 --> 00:39:46,060 I'm gonna be honest, I've never done this before. 984 00:39:46,270 --> 00:39:47,900 Although my mum and I have watched 985 00:39:47,910 --> 00:39:49,310 Pretty Woman, like, a million times. 986 00:39:49,510 --> 00:39:52,580 Oh, I love that movie! It's why I'm doing this. 987 00:39:53,510 --> 00:39:54,900 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 988 00:39:55,910 --> 00:39:57,340 It feels kind of dirty. 989 00:39:57,590 --> 00:39:58,900 You feel dirty? 990 00:39:58,910 --> 00:40:00,940 You're my third client tonight. It's only 9:00 PM. 991 00:40:01,510 --> 00:40:02,540 Oh, really? 992 00:40:02,910 --> 00:40:05,060 So, um, you just have to pay my manager, 993 00:40:05,150 --> 00:40:06,900 and then we're, like, good. 994 00:40:06,910 --> 00:40:07,940 Oh, yeah, um... 995 00:40:08,910 --> 00:40:10,130 Got it right here. 996 00:40:10,350 --> 00:40:11,900 Hi. Nate. 997 00:40:23,910 --> 00:40:25,130 - Nate? - Yeah. 998 00:40:25,270 --> 00:40:26,580 Hi, I'm Trina. 999 00:40:26,910 --> 00:40:29,340 I don't do handshakes, I do hugs. Get in here! 1000 00:40:30,910 --> 00:40:32,500 Oh, my gosh, you guys are gonna have 1001 00:40:32,590 --> 00:40:34,260 so much fun tonight. I can feel it. 1002 00:40:34,510 --> 00:40:35,900 - You're already a couple. - Hope so. 1003 00:40:35,910 --> 00:40:36,890 Already. 1004 00:40:36,910 --> 00:40:38,540 - Is this for me? - Um, yes, ma'am. 1005 00:40:38,750 --> 00:40:41,740 Oh, my gosh. Look at him. Prepared. I love that. 1006 00:40:41,910 --> 00:40:42,890 I'm not even gonna count it. 1007 00:40:42,910 --> 00:40:43,940 - You know why? - Mmm-mmm. 1008 00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:46,260 - 'Cause we're friends, right? - Yeah. 1009 00:40:46,470 --> 00:40:48,260 Yeah, we're not fucking friends. 1010 00:40:48,350 --> 00:40:49,540 Oh, my God. 1011 00:40:49,670 --> 00:40:51,700 So if you're thinking of fucking with me, 1012 00:40:51,790 --> 00:40:53,220 or with my girl, 1013 00:40:53,510 --> 00:40:56,700 don't. Because I'm hella stressed out right now. 1014 00:40:56,910 --> 00:40:59,060 This week has been a scheduling nightmare! 1015 00:40:59,510 --> 00:41:00,700 My iCal crashed, 1016 00:41:00,790 --> 00:41:03,300 and now all my appointments are set in 2019. 1017 00:41:03,790 --> 00:41:04,900 And in Hebrew. 1018 00:41:04,950 --> 00:41:07,140 It's a flawed program. I've been saying this for years. 1019 00:41:07,350 --> 00:41:08,900 Shut up. 1020 00:41:09,070 --> 00:41:10,580 My point is, 1021 00:41:10,910 --> 00:41:13,900 if one more person pisses me off... One more... 1022 00:41:14,230 --> 00:41:15,900 I don't know what's gonna happen. 1023 00:41:17,030 --> 00:41:18,740 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 1024 00:41:19,070 --> 00:41:21,060 We're clear? 1025 00:41:21,150 --> 00:41:23,900 Okay, so now, um, just have a good time. 1026 00:41:24,350 --> 00:41:27,340 If you use handcuffs, have a spare key, okay? 1027 00:41:27,670 --> 00:41:30,260 Jesus, we do not want to go through Thanksgiving again. 1028 00:41:30,790 --> 00:41:32,390 Um, hey, if you need me in the next hour, 1029 00:41:32,510 --> 00:41:33,570 I'll be at Whole Foods. 1030 00:41:33,710 --> 00:41:34,740 Okay. 1031 00:41:35,230 --> 00:41:36,900 Alexei, open my fucking door! 1032 00:41:37,350 --> 00:41:39,910 Come on. Let's go meet your friends. 1033 00:41:40,070 --> 00:41:41,900 I can close it myself! 1034 00:41:42,110 --> 00:41:45,020 I'm a woman in 2016. Jesus. 1035 00:41:47,310 --> 00:41:49,690 Okay, Clay, incoming. I just got a text from Carla. 1036 00:41:49,790 --> 00:41:51,000 Walter's on his way up. This is it. 1037 00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:52,240 Okay, okay. So we need an employee 1038 00:41:52,270 --> 00:41:53,520 to sit on my lap right when he comes up. 1039 00:41:53,550 --> 00:41:54,900 A cheerful one. Definitely not Jeremy. 1040 00:41:54,910 --> 00:41:55,940 Uh, sure, great plan. 1041 00:41:56,150 --> 00:41:58,500 Great. Good, good. Here. You try and get this on. 1042 00:42:01,710 --> 00:42:02,900 Hey, Walter! 1043 00:42:02,950 --> 00:42:04,500 - Welcome to Zenotek. - How are you? 1044 00:42:04,590 --> 00:42:05,780 I'm so glad you came. 1045 00:42:05,910 --> 00:42:07,000 Good to see you. Can I take your coat? 1046 00:42:07,030 --> 00:42:08,840 - No, no, I'm good, actually. - You sure? Okay. 1047 00:42:08,870 --> 00:42:10,880 All right. Walt, what would you like to get started with? 1048 00:42:10,910 --> 00:42:11,890 You know, we got a photo booth. 1049 00:42:11,910 --> 00:42:14,020 It's like getting your picture taken in a tiny house. 1050 00:42:14,150 --> 00:42:15,210 We love it. 1051 00:42:15,310 --> 00:42:17,020 Oh, uh, Jimmy Butler is here! 1052 00:42:17,230 --> 00:42:19,140 Jimmy Butler from the Bulls is here. 1053 00:42:19,270 --> 00:42:20,350 What? Come on! Where is he? 1054 00:42:20,550 --> 00:42:22,870 Do you want to take a selfie with him? Everyone's doin' it. 1055 00:42:22,910 --> 00:42:24,460 You know, I'm a Cavs fan, actually. 1056 00:42:24,670 --> 00:42:25,890 - Oh. - There's a good team. 1057 00:42:26,030 --> 00:42:27,630 - This was a mistake. - Hang on. Hang on. 1058 00:42:27,670 --> 00:42:28,780 No, no, no. Come on. 1059 00:42:28,910 --> 00:42:30,940 Now, a mistake would be to miss the salmon station. 1060 00:42:31,070 --> 00:42:32,210 Do you like salmon? Huh? 1061 00:42:32,470 --> 00:42:35,660 You want to swim upstream with me and go try some salmon? 1062 00:42:35,910 --> 00:42:37,660 What does that even mean? 1063 00:42:37,870 --> 00:42:39,760 You know what? Let's start with a drink. Come on. 1064 00:42:39,790 --> 00:42:42,350 Yeah. Are you thirsty? Clay, you want a drink with Walter? 1065 00:42:42,590 --> 00:42:44,580 One vibrator, please. 1066 00:42:45,070 --> 00:42:46,500 Okay. Here you go. 1067 00:42:46,750 --> 00:42:49,310 - It's really a body massager. - No, it's a vibrator. 1068 00:42:49,550 --> 00:42:51,700 Hey, Josh! 1069 00:42:51,910 --> 00:42:53,660 Oh, hey, Jeremy. This is Jeremy, 1070 00:42:53,750 --> 00:42:55,020 our customer service manager. 1071 00:42:55,230 --> 00:42:57,660 Hi, nice to meet you. Mary just fucking cited me! 1072 00:42:57,870 --> 00:42:59,220 Okay? I thought this was a party. 1073 00:42:59,470 --> 00:43:01,850 If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan. 1074 00:43:01,910 --> 00:43:02,940 That's a timeless gag! 1075 00:43:03,070 --> 00:43:04,900 - Never not funny! - Okay, off you go. 1076 00:43:05,030 --> 00:43:08,900 She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas, 1077 00:43:09,310 --> 00:43:12,220 like, just seeping into everybody's good time. 1078 00:43:12,470 --> 00:43:16,220 Every word she says makes my fucking haemorrhoids throb! 1079 00:43:16,670 --> 00:43:18,900 - I want that on the record. - It is. 1080 00:43:19,310 --> 00:43:20,700 He's in customer service? 1081 00:43:20,790 --> 00:43:21,920 Yeah, he's much better on the phone. 1082 00:43:21,950 --> 00:43:23,590 That's really where he shines. Here we go. 1083 00:43:23,910 --> 00:43:25,900 Hey, can we get a scotch? Um, Macallan, right? 1084 00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:28,260 Uh, no, dude. It's the eggnog luge. 1085 00:43:28,590 --> 00:43:31,260 Oh. Just the eggnog. Okay. Great. Well... 1086 00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:33,340 Uh, looks like fun. Ladies first. 1087 00:43:33,590 --> 00:43:36,500 - Josh, I insist. After you. - Well, I'm not much on eggnog. 1088 00:43:36,710 --> 00:43:37,920 Don't listen to this guy. He's Mr Fun. 1089 00:43:37,950 --> 00:43:40,250 He'll do anything for the party. So, come on! 1090 00:43:40,510 --> 00:43:43,070 Hey, everybody! Josh is gonna do the luge! 1091 00:43:43,270 --> 00:43:46,060 No, no. I don't think so. It's not for me. 1092 00:43:46,510 --> 00:43:49,070 Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! 1093 00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:51,260 It looks like they want you to do it. 1094 00:43:51,510 --> 00:43:53,060 Should I do it? I'll do it. 1095 00:43:53,510 --> 00:43:55,890 I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay, let's do it. 1096 00:43:56,110 --> 00:43:58,220 This the luge right here? Here we go. 1097 00:43:58,910 --> 00:44:01,500 Here we go... Here we go... 1098 00:44:05,350 --> 00:44:06,460 Mmm-hmm. 1099 00:44:09,750 --> 00:44:10,860 Mmm. 1100 00:44:13,910 --> 00:44:14,910 Oh, God. 1101 00:44:16,470 --> 00:44:18,900 Whoo! Okay, Walter, your turn. 1102 00:44:19,030 --> 00:44:20,090 Where'd Walter go? 1103 00:44:20,230 --> 00:44:21,740 I totally got you deep throating him. 1104 00:44:21,910 --> 00:44:23,280 Oh, well, look at that. That's beautiful. 1105 00:44:23,310 --> 00:44:25,540 Where'd Walter go, huh? Clay, did you see Walter? 1106 00:44:25,870 --> 00:44:27,440 I don't know about that whole throne thing. 1107 00:44:27,470 --> 00:44:28,670 I mean, nobody liked the gifts, 1108 00:44:28,750 --> 00:44:30,920 everybody was complaining and the lap-sitting got weird. 1109 00:44:30,950 --> 00:44:32,060 Oh, no. 1110 00:44:32,150 --> 00:44:33,210 What's happening? 1111 00:44:33,310 --> 00:44:34,480 Well, it's just not working. 1112 00:44:34,510 --> 00:44:35,640 If you took away everybody's drinks 1113 00:44:35,670 --> 00:44:36,730 and turned up the lights, 1114 00:44:36,870 --> 00:44:38,760 it just looks like we're at work. You know what I mean? 1115 00:44:38,790 --> 00:44:39,900 We need to get amped up. 1116 00:44:39,910 --> 00:44:41,700 We need to get them interacting. 1117 00:44:41,910 --> 00:44:43,680 You guys should do what you did at the party last year. 1118 00:44:43,710 --> 00:44:44,900 No. Not doing that. Come on. 1119 00:44:45,070 --> 00:44:46,130 No, that was lame. 1120 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:48,120 No, no, it was fucking awesome! People loved it! 1121 00:44:48,150 --> 00:44:49,340 It wasn't. And they didn't. 1122 00:44:49,590 --> 00:44:50,940 Do it for the company. All right? 1123 00:44:51,150 --> 00:44:53,780 I'm gonna go give Walter party mouth-to-mouth. 1124 00:44:53,950 --> 00:44:55,580 Is he crying? 1125 00:44:55,910 --> 00:44:56,920 I wanted to give you this pamphlet 1126 00:44:56,950 --> 00:44:58,340 which has a lot of good information 1127 00:44:58,550 --> 00:45:00,900 about the signs and symptoms of sadness. 1128 00:45:01,310 --> 00:45:02,450 When I'm sad, 1129 00:45:02,550 --> 00:45:05,110 I like to remember something my grandma used to sing. 1130 00:45:10,910 --> 00:45:11,940 It's about ducklings. 1131 00:45:15,270 --> 00:45:17,900 Mary, you wore a blue coat, right? 1132 00:45:18,150 --> 00:45:19,900 - No, I wore my beige poof. - Oh, that's it. 1133 00:45:19,950 --> 00:45:21,110 It's probably not a big deal, 1134 00:45:21,150 --> 00:45:23,140 but I saw Meghan rifling through all the pockets. 1135 00:45:23,350 --> 00:45:26,060 No, no, no, no. My Bath & Body Works coupons! 1136 00:45:26,510 --> 00:45:28,340 Walter. Clay Vanstone, remember? 1137 00:45:28,510 --> 00:45:29,570 - Hey. - How are you? 1138 00:45:29,710 --> 00:45:32,540 - I want to show you Zenotek. - Ah. Yes. 1139 00:45:50,750 --> 00:45:52,300 You're a very expressive dancer. 1140 00:45:52,590 --> 00:45:54,070 Oh, thanks. Let me know if you want me 1141 00:45:54,110 --> 00:45:55,900 to dance, like, sexy or something, you know? 1142 00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:57,950 - Yeah. No, we're good. - Okay. 1143 00:46:00,030 --> 00:46:02,900 Uh, hey, there's actually some guys I want you to meet. 1144 00:46:03,030 --> 00:46:04,090 Okay, great. 1145 00:46:04,230 --> 00:46:06,280 Let's just work out the money thing first, though, yeah? 1146 00:46:06,310 --> 00:46:08,340 Uh, I already gave Trina $200. 1147 00:46:08,510 --> 00:46:10,080 Oh, yeah, that's just for the first hour. 1148 00:46:10,110 --> 00:46:11,520 If you want me for the rest of the night, 1149 00:46:11,550 --> 00:46:12,900 it's gonna be another $2,000. 1150 00:46:13,070 --> 00:46:15,900 - Two grand? No. No way. - Yeah. 1151 00:46:15,910 --> 00:46:17,280 The website clearly said 1152 00:46:17,310 --> 00:46:19,140 it was $200 for the whole night. 1153 00:46:19,350 --> 00:46:21,780 Do I look like I'm $200 a night? 1154 00:46:22,230 --> 00:46:24,300 Okay, fine. I'll go to an ATM, okay? 1155 00:46:24,710 --> 00:46:25,900 Okay. Give me your watch as collateral. 1156 00:46:25,910 --> 00:46:26,910 It's my grandmother's. 1157 00:46:27,070 --> 00:46:28,100 I don't care. 1158 00:46:28,230 --> 00:46:29,290 Shit. 1159 00:46:37,110 --> 00:46:38,220 Holy shit. 1160 00:46:38,310 --> 00:46:42,220 That was just how daddy likes it. 1161 00:46:42,310 --> 00:46:43,340 Mmm-hmm. 1162 00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:44,730 Check it out. 1163 00:46:45,110 --> 00:46:47,220 You're a fireman. 1164 00:46:48,910 --> 00:46:51,860 Must be really nice to have a day care centre at work. 1165 00:46:51,910 --> 00:46:54,100 Yeah, yeah. Clay set this up when I was pregnant. 1166 00:46:54,310 --> 00:46:55,520 I think he just wanted an excuse 1167 00:46:55,550 --> 00:46:56,900 to have Play-Doh in the office. 1168 00:46:57,910 --> 00:46:59,500 - Shall we? - Oh. 1169 00:47:02,870 --> 00:47:04,780 - You are such a good mum. - Aw. 1170 00:47:05,670 --> 00:47:06,700 Thanks. 1171 00:47:08,030 --> 00:47:10,330 I, uh, bet you'd make me finish all my homework 1172 00:47:10,510 --> 00:47:12,100 before I could go outside and play. 1173 00:47:12,470 --> 00:47:15,220 Yeah, especially if you were being naughty. 1174 00:47:15,870 --> 00:47:17,220 Do I need to be punished? 1175 00:47:17,790 --> 00:47:19,900 Well, I guess that depends on your homework. 1176 00:47:26,030 --> 00:47:27,140 I bet you'd make me 1177 00:47:27,270 --> 00:47:29,460 brush my teeth so I don't get any cavities. 1178 00:47:29,870 --> 00:47:32,900 Oh, we're still doing this. Okay. 1179 00:47:36,470 --> 00:47:38,100 I've been a bad boy, Mummy. 1180 00:47:38,310 --> 00:47:40,900 Okay, um, do you have some kind of weird fetish? 1181 00:47:41,150 --> 00:47:42,900 What? No! 1182 00:47:43,150 --> 00:47:44,830 No, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to give you 1183 00:47:44,910 --> 00:47:45,910 that impression. 1184 00:47:45,950 --> 00:47:47,340 - I just got carried away. - Oh. 1185 00:47:47,710 --> 00:47:49,700 I just really like you. 1186 00:47:49,910 --> 00:47:51,900 Yeah. I really like you, too. 1187 00:48:02,870 --> 00:48:04,540 Something's happening in my diaper. 1188 00:48:04,750 --> 00:48:06,460 - Okay. Fuck this. I got to go. - Huh? 1189 00:48:06,670 --> 00:48:07,840 - This is my nightmare. - What? 1190 00:48:07,870 --> 00:48:09,860 - So, yes, I'm in hell. - No, uh... 1191 00:48:09,910 --> 00:48:11,300 - So I'm gonna go. - Mummy! 1192 00:48:11,550 --> 00:48:12,740 I mean, Allison. Don't leave. 1193 00:48:12,910 --> 00:48:17,140 Save that shit for the fourth date like a normal person! 1194 00:48:20,710 --> 00:48:21,900 Sorry. 1195 00:48:25,950 --> 00:48:28,250 All right, Nate, this is what you've been saving for. 1196 00:48:30,510 --> 00:48:31,900 Who designed this? 1197 00:48:31,910 --> 00:48:33,270 Come on! 1198 00:48:33,950 --> 00:48:35,900 Shit! Fuck me! 1199 00:48:40,910 --> 00:48:41,910 Yes. 1200 00:48:48,150 --> 00:48:50,100 I'm okay! Merry Christmas! 1201 00:48:53,590 --> 00:48:55,100 Okay. You ready? 1202 00:48:56,750 --> 00:48:58,860 Okay, you look ridiculous. 1203 00:48:59,910 --> 00:49:01,660 Is it the hat? 1204 00:49:05,870 --> 00:49:07,860 Hey. Merry Christmas, everybody! 1205 00:49:08,230 --> 00:49:10,580 Who's happy about the holidays? 1206 00:49:17,070 --> 00:49:18,900 Okay. Okay. 1207 00:49:47,030 --> 00:49:50,540 Hey, so, um, you dickheads want to buy some cocaine? 1208 00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:52,860 Yeah! We'll do that. 1209 00:49:52,950 --> 00:49:54,780 One cocaine. Want to do it with us? 1210 00:49:58,670 --> 00:50:00,460 Yeah! Yeah! 1211 00:50:04,470 --> 00:50:06,460 I believe in taking risks, Walter. 1212 00:50:06,670 --> 00:50:08,900 Zenotek, my company, believes in taking risks. 1213 00:50:08,910 --> 00:50:10,080 You know what we should do tonight? 1214 00:50:10,110 --> 00:50:11,240 We should do something that scares us. 1215 00:50:11,270 --> 00:50:12,330 Makes us feel alive! 1216 00:50:13,910 --> 00:50:14,890 Do you think you could 1217 00:50:14,910 --> 00:50:16,780 swing across the dance floor with those lights? 1218 00:50:17,070 --> 00:50:18,130 What's that? 1219 00:50:18,510 --> 00:50:20,260 Like, if you grabbed every single strand, 1220 00:50:20,470 --> 00:50:21,560 do you think that you could swing 1221 00:50:21,590 --> 00:50:23,680 and then time it just right and grab all of those strands, 1222 00:50:23,710 --> 00:50:25,900 then, like Tarzan, make it all the way to my office? 1223 00:50:25,910 --> 00:50:27,900 Merry fucking Christmas. 1224 00:50:28,750 --> 00:50:29,890 You know what? 1225 00:50:30,310 --> 00:50:32,900 This has been really great, and I thank you, but, 1226 00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:34,720 it's time to hit the road. 1227 00:50:34,750 --> 00:50:36,660 Oh. Um, you can't leave yet, 1228 00:50:36,750 --> 00:50:38,070 'cause we're just getting started! 1229 00:51:00,910 --> 00:51:03,900 Hey! You got snow machined. That's meant to be lucky. 1230 00:51:03,910 --> 00:51:04,910 It tastes bitter. 1231 00:51:04,950 --> 00:51:06,950 It's just paper products. Let's get you cleaned up. 1232 00:51:07,350 --> 00:51:09,340 Great, great. So I guess we'll just take two 1233 00:51:09,510 --> 00:51:10,680 and call you in the morning, then? 1234 00:51:10,710 --> 00:51:12,900 - Is that, uh... - Yeah, don't call me. 1235 00:51:13,510 --> 00:51:15,500 You on Snapchat? 1236 00:51:16,070 --> 00:51:19,500 We'll be up here if you want to come back up here. 1237 00:51:20,070 --> 00:51:21,500 I need some air. 1238 00:51:21,710 --> 00:51:23,780 Oh, also I have your Secret Santa. 1239 00:51:23,950 --> 00:51:25,010 Oh. Okay. 1240 00:51:27,470 --> 00:51:28,900 What are you doing? 1241 00:51:29,070 --> 00:51:30,540 Pissing off Mary. 1242 00:51:30,870 --> 00:51:34,220 # GreatestPartyEver. #OpenBar. 1243 00:51:34,470 --> 00:51:35,860 How do you spell "Hanukkah"? 1244 00:51:35,910 --> 00:51:37,660 Wait, who are you sending that to? 1245 00:51:37,910 --> 00:51:39,900 Oh, you know, everyone in Chicago. 1246 00:51:42,910 --> 00:51:44,040 You've never been up here? 1247 00:51:44,070 --> 00:51:45,100 No. 1248 00:51:45,510 --> 00:51:46,860 This is where I usually am 1249 00:51:46,910 --> 00:51:48,700 during the sexual harassment seminars. 1250 00:51:48,910 --> 00:51:50,780 Oh, it's beautiful. 1251 00:51:52,590 --> 00:51:54,700 Oh, it's colder up here for sure. 1252 00:51:55,270 --> 00:51:56,900 And it's, uh... 1253 00:51:57,270 --> 00:51:59,700 Oh, man, it's higher. 1254 00:52:01,270 --> 00:52:03,060 Maybe let's go... Let's go lower. 1255 00:52:03,470 --> 00:52:04,900 And warmer. Come on. 1256 00:52:07,910 --> 00:52:10,580 - Uh-oh. - No. No, it never locks. 1257 00:52:11,030 --> 00:52:13,100 Wait, no. It never locks! 1258 00:52:13,750 --> 00:52:14,950 I bet you're also never up here 1259 00:52:15,070 --> 00:52:16,290 - at night, right? - No. 1260 00:52:16,750 --> 00:52:18,900 It's all right, I came prepared. 1261 00:52:20,870 --> 00:52:21,900 So did I. 1262 00:52:22,110 --> 00:52:23,540 Your Secret Santa. 1263 00:52:23,750 --> 00:52:25,630 That's a lot better than where I'm keeping mine. 1264 00:52:29,150 --> 00:52:30,260 Excuse me. Mr Vanstone? 1265 00:52:30,350 --> 00:52:32,260 - Have you seen this? - Hi. I'm Rodney. 1266 00:52:32,910 --> 00:52:35,060 We haven't met yet. I'm an intern here. 1267 00:52:35,150 --> 00:52:37,340 I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. 1268 00:52:37,710 --> 00:52:40,270 - Yes, you can have a job. - Are you serious? 1269 00:52:40,590 --> 00:52:42,580 Yeah, party hire. Junior associate. Congrats. 1270 00:52:42,790 --> 00:52:44,700 Oh, my God. Mr Vanstone, thank you! 1271 00:52:44,910 --> 00:52:46,260 - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 1272 00:52:46,710 --> 00:52:47,990 - Oh, my God. Yes? - Hey, Rodney! 1273 00:52:48,270 --> 00:52:49,740 We're gonna get you a new name. 1274 00:52:49,870 --> 00:52:50,950 Done! I'll call my parents. 1275 00:52:51,510 --> 00:52:53,140 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1276 00:52:53,910 --> 00:52:54,910 Hey. You okay? 1277 00:52:55,150 --> 00:52:56,900 Ha! I was down. I was having a bad day. 1278 00:52:56,910 --> 00:52:58,020 But now I'm lifting. 1279 00:52:58,150 --> 00:52:59,230 I'm seeing things. My mind. 1280 00:52:59,310 --> 00:53:01,260 The ideas are flying through my mind! 1281 00:53:01,590 --> 00:53:03,220 - I'm feeling strong. - Okay, good. 1282 00:53:03,910 --> 00:53:05,780 - High five. Ha! - Sure. 1283 00:53:05,910 --> 00:53:06,940 Ha-ha! 1284 00:53:07,070 --> 00:53:09,500 You can't keep Walter Davis down forever, baby! 1285 00:53:12,950 --> 00:53:14,340 Let's go get fucked up. 1286 00:53:14,550 --> 00:53:15,580 Okay, but not too much. 1287 00:53:15,710 --> 00:53:16,900 When I drink, a lot of bad things happen. 1288 00:53:16,910 --> 00:53:18,240 You know, my sister's horse goes missing. 1289 00:53:18,270 --> 00:53:20,060 My car is covered in horse hair and blood. 1290 00:53:20,150 --> 00:53:21,260 Fingers get pointed. 1291 00:53:21,510 --> 00:53:23,940 Smoke PCP as a favour. Beach burns down. 1292 00:53:24,150 --> 00:53:25,740 That ain't never been my problem. 1293 00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:27,780 Come on! Let's go get a drink! Yeah! 1294 00:53:28,230 --> 00:53:29,780 Oh, shit! 1295 00:54:08,910 --> 00:54:10,200 We're expecting blizzard conditions 1296 00:54:10,230 --> 00:54:11,290 for 12 to 24 hours... 1297 00:54:11,470 --> 00:54:12,500 Just get me on a plane. 1298 00:54:12,590 --> 00:54:13,900 Get me on any goddamn plane, all right? 1299 00:54:13,910 --> 00:54:15,900 I have enough miles to orbit the sun. 1300 00:54:16,030 --> 00:54:17,670 I'm sorry, ma'am. All flights are grounded 1301 00:54:17,710 --> 00:54:18,740 until the snow clears. 1302 00:54:18,870 --> 00:54:19,900 There's nothing more I can do. 1303 00:54:19,910 --> 00:54:22,100 Well, refer me to someone who can do something. 1304 00:54:22,310 --> 00:54:23,900 That would be God, ma'am. 1305 00:54:23,950 --> 00:54:25,780 Oh, Her. 1306 00:54:27,310 --> 00:54:28,740 Have a great holiday. 1307 00:54:28,910 --> 00:54:29,910 Shit. 1308 00:54:37,790 --> 00:54:39,580 Did you eat my Cinnabon? 1309 00:54:40,510 --> 00:54:41,700 No. 1310 00:54:42,790 --> 00:54:43,930 Where's your mother? 1311 00:54:44,350 --> 00:54:45,900 Bathroom. 1312 00:54:47,910 --> 00:54:50,900 - What's your name, sweetie? - Darcy. 1313 00:54:51,070 --> 00:54:52,100 Oh. 1314 00:54:55,870 --> 00:54:56,900 Hi, Santa. 1315 00:54:57,670 --> 00:55:00,860 Yes, Carol Vanstone. I'm here with Darcy. 1316 00:55:01,710 --> 00:55:03,060 I know. Terrible name. 1317 00:55:03,910 --> 00:55:05,700 And she's being a little shit here 1318 00:55:05,790 --> 00:55:06,930 in the first class lounge. 1319 00:55:07,150 --> 00:55:08,540 So I think we should cancel 1320 00:55:08,670 --> 00:55:11,130 all of her Christmas presents this year. 1321 00:55:11,710 --> 00:55:12,900 Yeah. And while she's asleep, 1322 00:55:12,950 --> 00:55:15,220 why don't you take that doll, too. 1323 00:55:15,710 --> 00:55:16,900 Great. Bye. 1324 00:55:17,270 --> 00:55:18,640 May I have your attention, please. 1325 00:55:18,670 --> 00:55:21,020 Due to inclement weather, all flights have been cancelled. 1326 00:55:21,310 --> 00:55:22,450 Shit! 1327 00:55:26,910 --> 00:55:28,260 Fuck you! 1328 00:55:33,910 --> 00:55:35,280 Zenotek, you having a good time now? 1329 00:55:35,310 --> 00:55:37,020 You ready to kick this up a notch, huh? 1330 00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:41,860 Hit me with the horns, Calvis! 1331 00:55:41,910 --> 00:55:43,460 Old school. 1332 00:55:46,230 --> 00:55:47,500 Make some noise! 1333 00:55:49,270 --> 00:55:50,300 Yeah! 1334 00:55:54,550 --> 00:55:55,690 # Here we go now! 1335 00:55:55,910 --> 00:55:57,500 Is this not the best fucking party 1336 00:55:57,590 --> 00:55:59,060 y'all been to? Come on down! 1337 00:55:59,270 --> 00:56:01,260 # Here we go now! Here we go now! 1338 00:56:01,710 --> 00:56:04,860 # Here we go, here we go! Let me clear my throat 1339 00:56:06,310 --> 00:56:07,900 Yeah, get on up here. 1340 00:56:08,110 --> 00:56:10,670 Give it up for Walter! My main man, Walter! 1341 00:56:12,550 --> 00:56:13,580 Goddamn! 1342 00:56:13,790 --> 00:56:15,140 Get on up here, Mary! 1343 00:56:15,350 --> 00:56:17,910 Give me the mike. No, no, no. Give me the mike. 1344 00:56:18,070 --> 00:56:19,500 - Give it up for Mary! - No, no. 1345 00:56:19,590 --> 00:56:22,050 Mary, everybody, yeah! 1346 00:56:22,150 --> 00:56:23,580 You got to stop. 1347 00:56:23,790 --> 00:56:25,700 # When I say H, you say R 1348 00:56:25,910 --> 00:56:27,900 # H.R.! H.R.! 1349 00:56:27,950 --> 00:56:30,250 # When I say H, you say R 1350 00:56:30,510 --> 00:56:32,580 # H.R.! H.R.! 1351 00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:34,900 # And when she says H, you say R 1352 00:56:35,070 --> 00:56:37,500 # H.R.! H.R.! 1353 00:56:37,590 --> 00:56:39,500 Yeah! 1354 00:56:42,070 --> 00:56:44,100 # If y'all want to party like we do 1355 00:56:44,230 --> 00:56:45,900 # If y'all want to party like us 1356 00:56:46,030 --> 00:56:48,900 # Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1357 00:56:51,310 --> 00:56:53,340 # If y'all want to party like we do 1358 00:56:53,510 --> 00:56:54,900 # If y'all want to party like us 1359 00:56:55,310 --> 00:56:58,300 # Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1360 00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:03,740 Okay, that's part of it. Yeah! 1361 00:57:04,590 --> 00:57:05,990 She's what makes this company great, 1362 00:57:06,070 --> 00:57:08,860 just like every motherfucker in here! 1363 00:57:09,910 --> 00:57:12,260 # When I say freeze, y'all freeze one time 1364 00:57:12,510 --> 00:57:13,900 # Freeze! 1365 00:57:15,910 --> 00:57:17,740 # Now let me clear my throat 1366 00:57:18,070 --> 00:57:20,530 # Special dedication going out to all the ladies 1367 00:57:20,670 --> 00:57:21,910 # And all the brothers in here! 1368 00:57:22,270 --> 00:57:24,900 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1369 00:57:39,910 --> 00:57:41,700 This is fun, right? 1370 00:57:41,910 --> 00:57:43,050 This has turned 1371 00:57:43,150 --> 00:57:45,780 from charming into life-threatening. 1372 00:57:46,710 --> 00:57:49,780 I cannot believe that they are still not responding. 1373 00:57:50,510 --> 00:57:52,100 At least my death will give my parents 1374 00:57:52,230 --> 00:57:54,230 something to talk about at the meal I'm gonna miss. 1375 00:57:54,510 --> 00:57:56,270 - Going to your parents' place? - Every year. 1376 00:57:56,710 --> 00:57:59,900 This is where not having any family actually pays off. 1377 00:58:00,230 --> 00:58:01,900 I get the whole city to myself. 1378 00:58:02,310 --> 00:58:04,100 It's like some kind of awesome plague came in 1379 00:58:04,230 --> 00:58:06,220 and spared only me and the Chinese restaurants. 1380 00:58:06,670 --> 00:58:07,890 This is useless. 1381 00:58:08,070 --> 00:58:09,900 You gonna be solo, huh? 1382 00:58:10,150 --> 00:58:11,900 There's not gonna be a stocking on your mantel 1383 00:58:11,910 --> 00:58:13,500 for Jimmy Butler at your place? 1384 00:58:15,510 --> 00:58:17,340 - What are you doing? - Nothing? 1385 00:58:17,910 --> 00:58:19,700 Just asking. You know? 1386 00:58:20,510 --> 00:58:21,860 You could have dated me, Josh. 1387 00:58:21,910 --> 00:58:23,190 But you freaked out and ran away. 1388 00:58:23,950 --> 00:58:27,220 I still had PTSD from my marriage just ending, so... 1389 00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:30,900 You'd been separated for a year. 1390 00:58:32,910 --> 00:58:35,140 - I fucked up. - Yeah. 1391 00:58:35,790 --> 00:58:37,340 Because you're an idiot. 1392 00:58:37,910 --> 00:58:39,260 I'm sorry. 1393 00:58:39,910 --> 00:58:42,700 I have been feeling shitty about it. 1394 00:58:50,910 --> 00:58:52,900 We should've done this a long time ago. 1395 00:58:54,350 --> 00:58:55,900 - Yeah. - Right? 1396 00:59:04,510 --> 00:59:05,780 - Hey, Jeremy. - Huh? 1397 00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:06,890 Hey! 1398 00:59:06,910 --> 00:59:08,700 - Hey, man. - What's up, guys? 1399 00:59:08,910 --> 00:59:12,690 Wow. Good thing I wasn't going number two, huh? 1400 00:59:12,870 --> 00:59:14,260 Yeah. Leave you to it. 1401 00:59:14,510 --> 00:59:17,070 - This is my territory! - Got it. That's clear. 1402 00:59:19,510 --> 00:59:21,220 They can't shut us down! 1403 00:59:21,310 --> 00:59:23,260 We're never gonna get shut down! 1404 00:59:23,710 --> 00:59:25,900 # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1405 00:59:26,070 --> 00:59:28,060 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1406 00:59:28,510 --> 00:59:30,700 # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1407 00:59:30,910 --> 00:59:32,900 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1408 00:59:34,910 --> 00:59:37,060 It's a Christmas miracle. 1409 00:59:37,870 --> 00:59:39,900 # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1410 00:59:39,910 --> 00:59:42,020 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1411 00:59:42,470 --> 00:59:44,500 # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1412 00:59:44,910 --> 00:59:46,940 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! # 1413 00:59:47,790 --> 00:59:49,900 I love this party! 1414 00:59:50,590 --> 00:59:53,050 I love this company! 1415 00:59:53,710 --> 00:59:56,500 And I want to work with you people! 1416 00:59:58,030 --> 01:00:00,900 What did he just say? Did Clay just close Walter? 1417 01:00:01,070 --> 01:00:03,780 Huh, he really is Santa Claus. 1418 01:00:09,590 --> 01:00:10,900 Yeah! 1419 01:00:35,150 --> 01:00:36,940 So, Carol. You know, 1420 01:00:37,070 --> 01:00:38,780 - that's my grandmother's name. - Mmm. 1421 01:00:39,910 --> 01:00:41,500 - No, I did not know that. - Yeah. 1422 01:00:42,550 --> 01:00:43,580 Oh. 1423 01:00:43,710 --> 01:00:46,900 It's kind of an old-timey name. Don't really hear 1424 01:00:47,150 --> 01:00:48,900 Carol much anymore. 1425 01:00:49,950 --> 01:00:52,070 It's like... "Hi, I'm Carol. 1426 01:00:52,310 --> 01:00:55,300 "I gotta get home before I miss my stories." 1427 01:00:55,790 --> 01:00:59,900 "Hi, I'm Carol. I heard about Pearl Harbor on the radio." 1428 01:00:59,910 --> 01:01:03,900 "Hi, I'm Carol. I died in the beginning of Up." 1429 01:01:04,710 --> 01:01:05,930 That movie? 1430 01:01:06,550 --> 01:01:08,660 Sorry, I'm just nervous. 1431 01:01:08,910 --> 01:01:12,530 My first night on the job. On the ol' J.O.B. 1432 01:01:12,790 --> 01:01:13,900 - It's your first night? - Yeah. 1433 01:01:13,910 --> 01:01:14,910 Driving? 1434 01:01:14,950 --> 01:01:16,230 First night driving the ol' Ubes. 1435 01:01:17,310 --> 01:01:19,900 It's a pretty sweet gig, though. Make my own hours. 1436 01:01:20,030 --> 01:01:21,740 You know, I could hook you up 1437 01:01:21,870 --> 01:01:23,300 if you want to be an Uber driver. 1438 01:01:23,670 --> 01:01:25,710 I'm good. I already have a job. Thank you very much. 1439 01:01:25,870 --> 01:01:28,900 Yeah, but you could be CEO of your own car! 1440 01:01:29,230 --> 01:01:30,860 I am a CEO. 1441 01:01:30,910 --> 01:01:32,020 Of Uber? 1442 01:01:32,470 --> 01:01:35,220 Oh, my God. Is this Undercover Boss? 1443 01:01:35,310 --> 01:01:36,530 Is that a camera? 1444 01:01:36,910 --> 01:01:39,100 Am I on ca... Are you wearing a disguise? 1445 01:01:39,310 --> 01:01:40,900 No. This is not Undercover Boss. 1446 01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:42,740 I am not the CEO of Uber. 1447 01:01:42,910 --> 01:01:45,140 I am the CEO of Zenotek. Please just drive. 1448 01:01:45,310 --> 01:01:47,940 No shit. I just dropped off, 1449 01:01:48,070 --> 01:01:49,900 like, four people at that party tonight. 1450 01:01:51,910 --> 01:01:52,910 I'm sorry? 1451 01:01:53,030 --> 01:01:55,460 They gave me three stars like a bunch of bitches. 1452 01:01:55,550 --> 01:01:56,900 Excuse me. What did you just say? 1453 01:01:57,110 --> 01:01:59,490 - I said they were bitches. - No, no. What party? 1454 01:01:59,710 --> 01:02:02,270 The party at your office. Everybody's like, "Oooh." 1455 01:02:02,910 --> 01:02:06,100 - You son of a bitch, Clay. - Yeah, bunch of bitches! 1456 01:02:06,310 --> 01:02:07,900 Can you just... 1457 01:02:07,910 --> 01:02:10,100 Can you move? Move! 1458 01:02:17,910 --> 01:02:19,700 The English band, the Optic Monkeys? 1459 01:02:19,870 --> 01:02:21,080 You were supposed to see them with your friend Lindsey, 1460 01:02:21,110 --> 01:02:22,230 you were like, "I can't go," 1461 01:02:22,310 --> 01:02:23,480 because you couldn't get a babysitter? 1462 01:02:23,510 --> 01:02:25,700 Did you hack into my emails? 1463 01:02:25,910 --> 01:02:27,540 Get the fuck out of here. 1464 01:02:27,750 --> 01:02:29,860 And never use that British accent again. 1465 01:02:30,950 --> 01:02:32,580 Allison, are you okay? 1466 01:02:32,870 --> 01:02:34,540 No! I'm not okay. 1467 01:02:34,910 --> 01:02:36,900 My ex-husband is dating a stripper, 1468 01:02:37,110 --> 01:02:39,100 Drew is cyberstalking me, 1469 01:02:39,310 --> 01:02:40,700 and Fred from accounting 1470 01:02:40,790 --> 01:02:42,860 is like a human fucking AMBER Alert. 1471 01:02:43,030 --> 01:02:47,020 Don't I deserve to date someone who is nice? 1472 01:02:47,230 --> 01:02:48,660 Of course you do. 1473 01:02:48,910 --> 01:02:51,100 Allison, you're an amazing person. 1474 01:02:51,310 --> 01:02:53,740 You basically take care of this whole office. 1475 01:02:53,910 --> 01:02:54,890 And you do it every day, 1476 01:02:54,910 --> 01:02:56,900 even though most people don't seem to notice. 1477 01:02:56,910 --> 01:02:58,300 So, yeah, 1478 01:02:58,870 --> 01:03:00,540 you deserve someone nice. 1479 01:03:00,910 --> 01:03:01,910 Baby, 1480 01:03:02,230 --> 01:03:05,020 I got your text. Ooh, I missed you. 1481 01:03:05,470 --> 01:03:06,900 Come on, let's dance. 1482 01:03:06,910 --> 01:03:08,900 Just hang in there. 1483 01:03:12,270 --> 01:03:14,780 Go, Rodney! Go, Rodney! 1484 01:03:24,270 --> 01:03:25,460 Nate! 1485 01:03:25,710 --> 01:03:27,540 Hey, man. Larry from shipping here 1486 01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:28,920 actually has a really great story 1487 01:03:28,950 --> 01:03:30,220 that he wants to tell you. 1488 01:03:30,590 --> 01:03:32,300 I was in the bathroom washing my face, 1489 01:03:32,590 --> 01:03:34,060 and this girl came in, like, 1490 01:03:34,150 --> 01:03:36,530 "I'll give you a handy for $40." 1491 01:03:36,870 --> 01:03:37,900 And the next thing I knew, 1492 01:03:37,910 --> 01:03:41,860 my penis was in her hand and then she starts... 1493 01:03:42,590 --> 01:03:44,500 Okay, Larry, I know how a hand job works. 1494 01:03:44,710 --> 01:03:46,150 I had no idea you guys were together. 1495 01:03:46,510 --> 01:03:47,900 Wait, what are you talking about? 1496 01:03:47,910 --> 01:03:51,260 So Becca gave Larry a hand job in the men's room. 1497 01:03:51,710 --> 01:03:52,900 Goddamn it! 1498 01:03:55,270 --> 01:03:57,060 Ooh, ooh! I'm going next. 1499 01:03:57,710 --> 01:03:59,780 I'm inspired! I'm going next. 1500 01:04:00,270 --> 01:04:03,260 - No, I called it. I called it. - No, no, wait. 1501 01:04:03,710 --> 01:04:06,140 - I'm so happy for you! - Oh, shit. 1502 01:04:06,350 --> 01:04:08,100 I was about to do my balls! 1503 01:04:08,550 --> 01:04:10,900 Hey! What about the 3D printer? 1504 01:04:11,270 --> 01:04:12,700 - Yes. Yes! - Yeah? 1505 01:04:12,790 --> 01:04:14,140 I'm going first, I'm going first! 1506 01:04:50,070 --> 01:04:52,060 Excuse me. Excuse me! 1507 01:04:52,550 --> 01:04:53,690 Excuse me. 1508 01:05:02,910 --> 01:05:04,760 Raise your hands if you're keeping your jobs! 1509 01:05:04,790 --> 01:05:07,700 Raise your hands if you're gonna get a bonus! 1510 01:05:08,510 --> 01:05:09,780 Excuse me. 1511 01:05:09,910 --> 01:05:11,020 Clay? 1512 01:05:11,750 --> 01:05:12,860 Clay! 1513 01:05:13,110 --> 01:05:14,540 Oh, fuck. 1514 01:05:14,910 --> 01:05:16,100 Hey, sis. 1515 01:05:16,470 --> 01:05:17,530 Hey, hey, hey. 1516 01:05:18,270 --> 01:05:19,900 Carol, before you get mad, listen to what I did. 1517 01:05:19,910 --> 01:05:21,020 I said no party! 1518 01:05:21,470 --> 01:05:22,920 That's all I said. All you had to do was nothing, 1519 01:05:22,950 --> 01:05:25,100 and you couldn't even do that! Couldn't even do that! 1520 01:05:25,310 --> 01:05:26,900 Carol, Carol, Carol! 1521 01:05:27,110 --> 01:05:28,320 This is not what you think, okay? 1522 01:05:28,350 --> 01:05:29,540 This is all for a reason. 1523 01:05:31,910 --> 01:05:34,140 Listen. We threw this party for Walter Davis, 1524 01:05:34,270 --> 01:05:36,460 and we closed him, he wants to give us his business. 1525 01:05:36,670 --> 01:05:37,700 - We did it. - See? 1526 01:05:37,910 --> 01:05:39,990 I'm not a failure. I'm a good boss. The party worked! 1527 01:05:40,910 --> 01:05:42,460 - Walter Davis? - Yeah. 1528 01:05:42,710 --> 01:05:44,310 - Is at this party? - That's right. 1529 01:05:44,510 --> 01:05:45,570 Where is he? 1530 01:05:45,950 --> 01:05:48,330 I don't know. Where was he? He was just on the stage. 1531 01:05:48,590 --> 01:05:49,900 Oh... Guys? Guys! 1532 01:05:50,910 --> 01:05:52,050 That's not good. 1533 01:05:53,670 --> 01:05:55,020 Here we go! 1534 01:05:55,230 --> 01:05:56,860 Do it! Do it! Do it! 1535 01:05:56,910 --> 01:05:58,660 No, no, no. Shh! 1536 01:05:58,910 --> 01:06:01,470 - What are you doing? - Hey, that was my idea. 1537 01:06:01,710 --> 01:06:03,860 - Not relevant. - Walter? Hey, buddy! 1538 01:06:03,910 --> 01:06:05,900 Why don't you come down using the stairs? 1539 01:06:06,030 --> 01:06:08,100 No. Clay, it's like you said! 1540 01:06:08,310 --> 01:06:10,900 I want to do something that scares me. To feel 1541 01:06:11,030 --> 01:06:12,090 alive! 1542 01:06:12,550 --> 01:06:13,900 Maybe not right now. 1543 01:06:13,910 --> 01:06:15,660 What did you guys do to him? 1544 01:06:15,870 --> 01:06:17,090 Let go of those lines, buddy! 1545 01:06:17,670 --> 01:06:21,020 I'm the king of I.T. buyers! 1546 01:06:21,910 --> 01:06:23,050 Whoo! 1547 01:06:26,910 --> 01:06:28,260 - Oh! - Shit! 1548 01:06:29,270 --> 01:06:30,300 Oh! 1549 01:06:30,470 --> 01:06:31,900 Oh, God. 1550 01:06:32,910 --> 01:06:35,100 So close. 1551 01:06:38,790 --> 01:06:39,850 Hey, Walter. 1552 01:06:39,910 --> 01:06:41,000 You were like an eagle up there. 1553 01:06:41,030 --> 01:06:42,740 You were free. You did it. 1554 01:06:42,910 --> 01:06:43,940 Did we win? 1555 01:06:44,310 --> 01:06:45,660 Yeah, we won. 1556 01:06:46,070 --> 01:06:48,060 Zenotek! Zenotek! 1557 01:06:48,470 --> 01:06:49,740 That poor guy. 1558 01:06:49,910 --> 01:06:50,910 What a day he's had. 1559 01:06:51,030 --> 01:06:52,900 First he gets fired and now this. 1560 01:06:52,910 --> 01:06:54,740 - Wait, what? - Did you say fired? 1561 01:06:54,910 --> 01:06:55,910 Oh, yeah. 1562 01:06:56,030 --> 01:06:57,900 Oh, he got fired at the close of business today. 1563 01:06:57,910 --> 01:06:59,150 He told me, like, two hours ago. 1564 01:06:59,270 --> 01:07:00,900 They shipped his whole branch overseas. 1565 01:07:00,910 --> 01:07:01,890 What? 1566 01:07:01,910 --> 01:07:03,700 I confirmed it with my H.R. Facebook group. 1567 01:07:03,790 --> 01:07:04,900 And they know everything. 1568 01:07:05,470 --> 01:07:08,030 Excuse me. Just to clarify, because I'm detail-oriented. 1569 01:07:08,350 --> 01:07:11,060 So you didn't get a contract with Walter Davis 1570 01:07:11,510 --> 01:07:13,580 because he didn't have a contract to give. 1571 01:07:13,910 --> 01:07:15,440 Carol, before you get mad, here's the thing... 1572 01:07:15,470 --> 01:07:16,510 He wanted to work with us. 1573 01:07:16,670 --> 01:07:17,700 - So... - Clay. Clay! 1574 01:07:17,790 --> 01:07:18,900 Yeah? 1575 01:07:19,150 --> 01:07:20,580 I'm not mad. 1576 01:07:20,870 --> 01:07:21,900 You're not? 1577 01:07:21,910 --> 01:07:24,500 I mean, I was mad when Dad gave you this branch 1578 01:07:24,910 --> 01:07:26,900 just as a reward for taking six years 1579 01:07:26,910 --> 01:07:29,900 to graduate with a degree in... What is it? 1580 01:07:30,550 --> 01:07:33,300 Canadian television theory with concentration in Drake. 1581 01:07:33,750 --> 01:07:35,220 But this doesn't make me mad. 1582 01:07:35,710 --> 01:07:37,500 - I feel relieved. - All right. 1583 01:07:37,590 --> 01:07:38,900 Because it's over. 1584 01:07:39,910 --> 01:07:42,100 - I'm shutting you down. - Yeah, no, because it's late. 1585 01:07:42,230 --> 01:07:43,340 Allison got a clean-up crew 1586 01:07:43,510 --> 01:07:44,640 - for tomorrow. - Uh-huh. 1587 01:07:44,670 --> 01:07:47,660 No, Clay. I'm terminating this branch. 1588 01:07:47,910 --> 01:07:50,210 I'm such a dickhead. I started to like this place, 1589 01:07:50,310 --> 01:07:52,260 and then I get fucked. I get fucked! 1590 01:07:52,510 --> 01:07:54,750 No, no, no. Stop it, stop it. Carol, let's take one beat. 1591 01:07:54,910 --> 01:07:55,890 Look, look, Carol. Carol. 1592 01:07:55,910 --> 01:07:57,110 I fucked up, okay, so blame me. 1593 01:07:57,150 --> 01:07:58,340 But these are good people. 1594 01:07:58,790 --> 01:08:00,750 You can't close this branch. This is Dad's branch. 1595 01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:01,890 Well, you know what? He shouldn't have 1596 01:08:01,910 --> 01:08:03,100 given it to you to fuck up. 1597 01:08:04,750 --> 01:08:08,290 Oh, and, uh, good luck trying to be Mr Fun Guy 1598 01:08:08,750 --> 01:08:10,540 when you have to fire all these people. 1599 01:08:10,670 --> 01:08:11,700 Whoo! 1600 01:08:11,790 --> 01:08:13,100 I'll see you in New York. 1601 01:08:13,230 --> 01:08:14,260 Wait, what? 1602 01:08:14,350 --> 01:08:15,860 Did your little friend not tell you? 1603 01:08:15,910 --> 01:08:16,890 He's coming to work for me. 1604 01:08:16,910 --> 01:08:18,020 Yeah, right. 1605 01:08:18,110 --> 01:08:19,270 I never said yes to that job. 1606 01:08:19,350 --> 01:08:21,260 I don't recall you ever saying no. 1607 01:08:28,030 --> 01:08:29,060 Clay. 1608 01:08:29,310 --> 01:08:31,500 Clay, I never sa... Hey. 1609 01:08:31,910 --> 01:08:32,910 Clay. 1610 01:08:35,710 --> 01:08:38,270 Oh, hey, Clay... You told me you had a two-drink limit. 1611 01:08:39,470 --> 01:08:41,020 Yeah. You're right. 1612 01:08:41,510 --> 01:08:44,700 Now, y'all didn't forget about DJ Calvis! 1613 01:08:44,790 --> 01:08:46,660 Whoo! 1614 01:08:53,910 --> 01:08:56,500 I want to go back to the party! 1615 01:08:56,590 --> 01:08:57,900 Whoo! 1616 01:08:58,910 --> 01:09:00,660 Hey! What the hell? 1617 01:09:00,910 --> 01:09:02,480 I hired you to pretend to be my girlfriend, 1618 01:09:02,510 --> 01:09:04,540 then you go and give all my co-workers hand jobs? 1619 01:09:04,790 --> 01:09:06,860 You hired me to impress your co-workers, 1620 01:09:06,910 --> 01:09:08,030 and he was pretty impressed. 1621 01:09:08,150 --> 01:09:10,500 - Listen, I want my money back. - Well... 1622 01:09:10,750 --> 01:09:12,100 I'm sorry, what was that? 1623 01:09:12,550 --> 01:09:14,460 I couldn't hear you over my gun. 1624 01:09:14,870 --> 01:09:17,300 - I, um, I want my money back. - Oh. 1625 01:09:17,750 --> 01:09:21,450 I'm sorry. Customer services are not available right now, 1626 01:09:21,710 --> 01:09:23,900 but perhaps I can address your grievance. 1627 01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:26,100 Um, everything's fine. 1628 01:09:26,310 --> 01:09:27,900 Would you say like a five on Yelp, 1629 01:09:27,950 --> 01:09:29,900 or like positive three? 1630 01:09:29,910 --> 01:09:30,910 Five. 1631 01:09:31,030 --> 01:09:32,250 Five? Alexei! 1632 01:09:33,590 --> 01:09:34,650 Uh... 1633 01:09:35,670 --> 01:09:36,700 This is so funny. 1634 01:09:36,790 --> 01:09:39,540 Do that thing where you pull his asshole through his face. 1635 01:09:39,750 --> 01:09:40,890 Don't please. Shit! 1636 01:09:40,910 --> 01:09:43,140 Santa's gonna get fucked up tonight! 1637 01:09:43,670 --> 01:09:45,900 Who wants to party with Santa? 1638 01:09:45,950 --> 01:09:47,340 Who the fuck is that? 1639 01:09:47,590 --> 01:09:49,200 You know what, that guy is really rich. 1640 01:09:49,230 --> 01:09:50,700 And he's really stupid. 1641 01:09:50,910 --> 01:09:52,760 Well, then what are we doing with Spelling Bee here? 1642 01:09:52,790 --> 01:09:54,300 Get outta here. Go! 1643 01:09:55,070 --> 01:09:57,900 Hey, Santa! Wanna party? 1644 01:10:00,590 --> 01:10:01,700 Yeah. 1645 01:10:02,910 --> 01:10:04,900 Tracey! Tracey! Hey. 1646 01:10:05,750 --> 01:10:06,890 Tracey! 1647 01:10:07,070 --> 01:10:08,210 Hey! 1648 01:10:08,910 --> 01:10:09,940 Tracey? 1649 01:10:10,910 --> 01:10:12,780 Tracey, are you in here? 1650 01:10:13,910 --> 01:10:15,100 Oh, pardon me. 1651 01:10:15,470 --> 01:10:16,500 Hello? 1652 01:10:16,790 --> 01:10:17,850 Oh. 1653 01:10:17,910 --> 01:10:20,140 Josh, it's happening. 1654 01:10:20,910 --> 01:10:22,100 Good for you. 1655 01:10:23,470 --> 01:10:26,220 Hey, Tracey, which one are you in? 1656 01:10:26,670 --> 01:10:29,900 Hi. Carol offered me a job, but in no way did I say... 1657 01:10:29,910 --> 01:10:31,260 Josh. I get it. 1658 01:10:31,710 --> 01:10:33,340 She offered me a job, too. 1659 01:10:33,910 --> 01:10:35,580 - What? She offered you a job? - Yeah. 1660 01:10:35,750 --> 01:10:36,780 Triple the salary. 1661 01:10:36,910 --> 01:10:38,500 An apartment overlooking Central Park. 1662 01:10:38,950 --> 01:10:40,900 I got double and moving costs. 1663 01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:43,140 The real difference is I said no. 1664 01:10:43,350 --> 01:10:44,900 Listen, I'm not fighting with you about this. 1665 01:10:44,910 --> 01:10:46,120 It's silly. I didn't take the job. 1666 01:10:46,150 --> 01:10:48,140 Yeah. But you didn't not take it, either. 1667 01:10:48,550 --> 01:10:50,900 Because you need a safety net. Hey, that's who you are. 1668 01:10:51,110 --> 01:10:53,670 I'm happy for you. You should go to New York. 1669 01:10:54,710 --> 01:10:57,270 Is that what you want? You want me to go to New York? 1670 01:10:57,510 --> 01:10:59,500 There's a real human centipede situation 1671 01:10:59,590 --> 01:11:00,710 happening in the men's room. 1672 01:11:00,910 --> 01:11:02,900 Tracey, please. Don't go. 1673 01:11:02,950 --> 01:11:05,780 Whoa, this is almost the whole marketing department in here. 1674 01:11:06,870 --> 01:11:08,900 - Can I get a drink? - Josh, Josh. 1675 01:11:08,910 --> 01:11:10,130 Josh, where's Clay? 1676 01:11:10,350 --> 01:11:12,910 Asswipe loses everybody their jobs and runs. 1677 01:11:13,030 --> 01:11:14,660 How much did he spend on this party? 1678 01:11:14,750 --> 01:11:15,890 He could have just given that money to us. 1679 01:11:15,910 --> 01:11:17,050 Clay sucks. 1680 01:11:17,150 --> 01:11:18,480 We should just kill him, like on that podcast. 1681 01:11:18,510 --> 01:11:19,900 Put the Red Bull down. 1682 01:11:19,910 --> 01:11:21,660 Respectfully, fuck you guys! 1683 01:11:21,910 --> 01:11:23,580 Sorry, that was too much, but... 1684 01:11:23,790 --> 01:11:25,780 Clay cares more about people 1685 01:11:25,910 --> 01:11:27,130 than anyone I've ever met. 1686 01:11:27,590 --> 01:11:29,100 He was gonna pay your bonuses tonight 1687 01:11:29,230 --> 01:11:30,310 with the last of his money. 1688 01:11:30,470 --> 01:11:31,580 What? 1689 01:11:31,710 --> 01:11:33,020 Yeah, he's broke. Clay is broke. 1690 01:11:33,230 --> 01:11:34,290 Who do you think paid 1691 01:11:34,470 --> 01:11:36,060 for that bouncy house in accounting? 1692 01:11:36,270 --> 01:11:38,220 Training that dog to deliver the mail? 1693 01:11:38,670 --> 01:11:41,100 The zip-line? Doughnut Fridays? 1694 01:11:41,230 --> 01:11:42,540 It was all Clay! 1695 01:11:42,750 --> 01:11:43,890 He spent all of his money 1696 01:11:44,030 --> 01:11:45,740 trying to keep this branch afloat. 1697 01:11:45,910 --> 01:11:47,990 And whenever I questioned him about it, he would say, 1698 01:11:48,230 --> 01:11:50,340 "Treat your employees like they're your family 1699 01:11:50,510 --> 01:11:51,990 "and they'll do great things for you." 1700 01:11:52,670 --> 01:11:54,000 You guys, Clay just left to get drugs 1701 01:11:54,030 --> 01:11:55,090 with Becca and her pimp. 1702 01:11:55,310 --> 01:11:56,450 Wait... Who's Becca? 1703 01:11:56,670 --> 01:11:58,540 - Nate's whore. - Hey, that's his girlfriend! 1704 01:11:58,750 --> 01:12:00,220 Nope, she's right. 1705 01:12:00,710 --> 01:12:02,140 Becca's a prostitute. 1706 01:12:02,310 --> 01:12:03,700 Oh, nice. 1707 01:12:03,910 --> 01:12:04,890 Oh. Nope. 1708 01:12:04,910 --> 01:12:06,540 Clay left to go get drugs with a pimp? 1709 01:12:06,750 --> 01:12:08,900 Yes. She has a gun and a serious mood imbalance. 1710 01:12:09,230 --> 01:12:10,450 Fuck. Carol! 1711 01:12:10,550 --> 01:12:11,660 We have a problem. 1712 01:12:11,750 --> 01:12:13,430 Yeah, you have lots of problems. Good luck. 1713 01:12:13,910 --> 01:12:15,340 Carol, excuse me. 1714 01:12:16,110 --> 01:12:17,740 Carol! Listen. 1715 01:12:17,910 --> 01:12:19,940 Clay has gone to get wasted with a psychopath, 1716 01:12:20,150 --> 01:12:22,500 and he's got $300,000 strapped to his chest. 1717 01:12:22,870 --> 01:12:25,020 Ooh, that really does sound like a big problem... 1718 01:12:25,470 --> 01:12:26,530 For Clay. 1719 01:12:26,670 --> 01:12:27,710 You already lost your dad. 1720 01:12:27,790 --> 01:12:29,460 If you lose Clay, you'll have no one. 1721 01:12:29,670 --> 01:12:31,900 Trust me, that's not a place you want to be. 1722 01:12:33,230 --> 01:12:34,740 - I don't care. - What? 1723 01:12:35,550 --> 01:12:38,110 - Oh, boy. This woman... - What is wrong with her? 1724 01:12:39,870 --> 01:12:41,010 Really? 1725 01:12:41,230 --> 01:12:43,020 Guys! I don't know what to do. 1726 01:12:43,110 --> 01:12:44,350 Clay's not picking up his phone. 1727 01:12:44,710 --> 01:12:46,460 I think I can locate him. 1728 01:12:47,070 --> 01:12:48,540 This is so amazing to me, guys. 1729 01:12:48,670 --> 01:12:50,190 We can actually connect with, you know. 1730 01:12:50,270 --> 01:12:51,900 Yeah. Yeah. There we go. 1731 01:12:51,910 --> 01:12:53,020 - Amazing. - Absolutely. 1732 01:12:53,110 --> 01:12:55,270 They're full of shit, okay? They're not your soulmates. 1733 01:12:55,310 --> 01:12:56,580 They just hacked your Facebook. 1734 01:12:56,910 --> 01:12:59,210 - That's horseshit! - Unbelievable. So uncool. 1735 01:12:59,310 --> 01:13:00,590 - Hey, wait! - No, no, no, girls! 1736 01:13:00,910 --> 01:13:03,210 I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls. 1737 01:13:03,550 --> 01:13:05,000 Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns 1738 01:13:05,030 --> 01:13:07,020 to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him. 1739 01:13:07,270 --> 01:13:09,000 Come on, why would we help you, dude, seriously? 1740 01:13:09,030 --> 01:13:10,660 Yeah, why would we help you? 1741 01:13:10,910 --> 01:13:13,580 Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to. 1742 01:13:13,910 --> 01:13:16,580 - He can't touch him! - I'll allow it. 1743 01:13:26,550 --> 01:13:29,900 Ooh, there's a car on fire. Did the Bears win? 1744 01:13:30,910 --> 01:13:32,700 What are you looking at? 1745 01:13:34,790 --> 01:13:37,090 Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, Jesus. 1746 01:13:38,670 --> 01:13:41,460 Hey, if everybody's fired, 1747 01:13:41,870 --> 01:13:44,540 let's burn this place to the ground, baby! 1748 01:13:45,870 --> 01:13:47,900 Hey! Hey, what department are you in? 1749 01:13:48,030 --> 01:13:49,460 I don't work here. 1750 01:13:49,750 --> 01:13:52,020 Let's do this, baby! Who's with me? 1751 01:13:53,750 --> 01:13:54,890 Fuck. 1752 01:14:02,350 --> 01:14:04,730 If I tell y'all one more time to back up, 1753 01:14:04,870 --> 01:14:06,900 it's gonna be a problem. I'm not playing with y'all! 1754 01:14:06,910 --> 01:14:08,320 Carla! Carla! I need you to go upstairs 1755 01:14:08,350 --> 01:14:10,080 and lock this shit down. We gotta go help Clay. 1756 01:14:10,110 --> 01:14:11,240 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck that! 1757 01:14:11,270 --> 01:14:13,900 The security guard was the first one to go in Die Hard. 1758 01:14:14,070 --> 01:14:16,940 Carla, this is the one you knew would come. 1759 01:14:17,270 --> 01:14:18,490 Be our John McClane. 1760 01:14:19,070 --> 01:14:20,130 I'm on it. 1761 01:14:21,590 --> 01:14:22,700 Hey. 1762 01:14:22,870 --> 01:14:23,900 In case it gets dark. 1763 01:14:26,230 --> 01:14:27,940 Who wants to get tased? 1764 01:14:29,910 --> 01:14:31,740 Okay, where's your car? 1765 01:14:31,910 --> 01:14:33,880 I took a cab. I thought we were gonna take your car. 1766 01:14:33,910 --> 01:14:34,910 No, I took the El. 1767 01:14:37,030 --> 01:14:38,580 Let's go get our Santa. 1768 01:14:38,710 --> 01:14:39,740 - Great! - Oh. 1769 01:14:39,870 --> 01:14:42,860 Come on! No, don't. It's a lift and pull. 1770 01:14:43,030 --> 01:14:44,520 You're jerking it! Jesus Christ, let me do it. 1771 01:14:44,550 --> 01:14:45,660 - I'm pulling out. - Oh! 1772 01:14:45,750 --> 01:14:47,540 All right. Yeah, it's... It's locked. 1773 01:14:47,910 --> 01:14:48,910 Thanks. 1774 01:14:49,950 --> 01:14:51,580 Get in. Come on. 1775 01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:54,500 What'd you get all over your seats? 1776 01:14:54,750 --> 01:14:55,890 Oh, no, it's from the parrots. 1777 01:14:55,910 --> 01:14:57,540 Relax, it's not poop. It's some... 1778 01:14:57,750 --> 01:14:59,860 It's genital secretions. It's mating season. 1779 01:14:59,910 --> 01:15:01,860 - Oh. - Should be dry. 1780 01:15:01,910 --> 01:15:04,060 Okay. Nate says Clay's on the South Side. 1781 01:15:05,910 --> 01:15:08,860 He is not gonna fuck this up for me. 1782 01:15:09,230 --> 01:15:11,460 The board will vote me CEO. 1783 01:15:11,670 --> 01:15:14,230 That is happening. So let's just do this, okay? 1784 01:15:15,710 --> 01:15:17,900 - Can this thing handle snow? - Oh, please. It's a Kia. 1785 01:15:18,070 --> 01:15:19,700 It's what God would drive. 1786 01:15:34,150 --> 01:15:35,460 Oh! 1787 01:15:35,550 --> 01:15:37,900 Guys, you know, the thing is, I told everybody 1788 01:15:37,910 --> 01:15:39,750 they were gonna be okay, but then they weren't. 1789 01:15:39,870 --> 01:15:42,660 And so, I broke a Christmas promise, which... 1790 01:15:43,670 --> 01:15:45,300 Is basically the worst thing you can do. 1791 01:15:45,870 --> 01:15:48,020 I mean, it is so stressful being the boss. 1792 01:15:48,110 --> 01:15:49,540 Nobody ever talks about that. 1793 01:15:49,870 --> 01:15:50,900 No. No, not at all. 1794 01:15:50,910 --> 01:15:51,890 And if you want to complain about it, 1795 01:15:51,910 --> 01:15:54,020 everybody's like, "Oh, boo-hoo you, rich Santa." 1796 01:15:54,270 --> 01:15:55,580 Yeah, no one gives a shit! 1797 01:15:55,790 --> 01:15:56,900 I can't call people up and be like, 1798 01:15:56,910 --> 01:15:58,660 "Oh! I'm having a bad pimp day." 1799 01:15:58,870 --> 01:15:59,900 See, you understand. 1800 01:16:00,030 --> 01:16:03,220 I get clients calling me 24/7. Middle of the night, 3:00 AM: 1801 01:16:03,470 --> 01:16:04,660 Brring, brring, brring! 1802 01:16:04,870 --> 01:16:06,780 "Hey, I need anal, like yesterday." 1803 01:16:06,910 --> 01:16:07,890 Yeah, the same with me! 1804 01:16:07,910 --> 01:16:09,550 Except instead of anal, it's data storage. 1805 01:16:09,750 --> 01:16:11,740 Or, "I'm, like, chairing a PTA meeting. 1806 01:16:11,870 --> 01:16:13,520 "Can you have someone blow me in the gymnasium?" 1807 01:16:13,550 --> 01:16:14,900 Yeah, absolutely. It never ends. 1808 01:16:15,110 --> 01:16:17,900 Or, like, "Hey, your girl just stabbed me in the leg 1809 01:16:17,910 --> 01:16:19,590 "and now I'm bleeding out in the alleyway." 1810 01:16:19,910 --> 01:16:21,660 I don't relate to that as much. 1811 01:16:21,870 --> 01:16:24,020 It's mental, right? How much people lean on you? 1812 01:16:24,230 --> 01:16:26,740 And my sister wanted me to be a failure, 1813 01:16:26,870 --> 01:16:28,860 and I was, so she's not gonna let that go. 1814 01:16:28,910 --> 01:16:31,470 That's the problem of working with family, though. 1815 01:16:31,790 --> 01:16:34,020 - Yeah. - You can never escape them. 1816 01:16:34,470 --> 01:16:36,500 You can never escape them. 1817 01:16:36,910 --> 01:16:38,240 But you know what, you're gonna be fine, man. 1818 01:16:38,270 --> 01:16:39,300 You know why? 1819 01:16:39,470 --> 01:16:41,220 'Cause you've got all that money, honey. 1820 01:16:41,670 --> 01:16:43,900 Yeah, that's the thing. I don't, actually. 1821 01:16:44,030 --> 01:16:45,860 I spent it all trying to keep the branch open. 1822 01:16:45,910 --> 01:16:48,540 All I have left is just $300,000 cash. 1823 01:16:48,910 --> 01:16:50,100 You have 300 grand. 1824 01:16:50,310 --> 01:16:51,760 Oh, my gosh. Whenever I'm that low in my account, 1825 01:16:51,790 --> 01:16:53,300 I'm just like, "Kill me." 1826 01:16:53,670 --> 01:16:55,020 Uh, so where is the money? 1827 01:16:55,230 --> 01:16:58,660 - It's on my person. It's safe. - It's in your personal safe? 1828 01:16:59,750 --> 01:17:01,840 Okay, we're close. No, no, this is it! This is... 1829 01:17:01,870 --> 01:17:03,740 There's a spot! Right there. You passed it! 1830 01:17:05,910 --> 01:17:07,740 Careful. Easy. 1831 01:17:09,790 --> 01:17:10,850 Oh! 1832 01:17:11,550 --> 01:17:12,900 That's how you park a minivan. 1833 01:17:13,110 --> 01:17:14,660 - Jeez! - Very impressive. 1834 01:17:14,870 --> 01:17:17,540 Okay, Nate, are you sure about this address here? 1835 01:17:17,750 --> 01:17:19,900 Yes. 92765 Union Street. 1836 01:17:20,510 --> 01:17:23,070 That's where the pin is. Uh, Red Square Club. 1837 01:17:23,550 --> 01:17:26,740 Brian, I can see you fucking on my desk! 1838 01:17:29,550 --> 01:17:30,740 Uh... 1839 01:17:31,590 --> 01:17:33,780 - I'll go see what's going on. - Okay. 1840 01:17:34,550 --> 01:17:35,860 This is it. 1841 01:17:38,270 --> 01:17:39,330 Oh, my God. 1842 01:17:41,950 --> 01:17:44,140 Well, maybe he deserved it. Who knows? 1843 01:17:44,350 --> 01:17:45,700 Here we go, guys. Come on. 1844 01:17:45,910 --> 01:17:48,230 Quickly? Because I don't know what's gonna happen in there. 1845 01:17:48,590 --> 01:17:50,890 Last year I filed a sexual harassment complaint 1846 01:17:50,950 --> 01:17:52,140 against myself. 1847 01:17:52,270 --> 01:17:53,900 - Against yourself. - Mmm-hmm. 1848 01:17:54,910 --> 01:17:58,500 Andrew, in the copy room, he was changing the toner. 1849 01:17:58,910 --> 01:18:01,140 And I pretended to drop something on the ground 1850 01:18:01,790 --> 01:18:03,140 so that I could bend over 1851 01:18:03,270 --> 01:18:05,900 and graze his butt with my nose. 1852 01:18:05,910 --> 01:18:06,910 And I did. 1853 01:18:11,910 --> 01:18:14,260 - That doesn't seem that bad. - And then I said, 1854 01:18:14,590 --> 01:18:18,580 "If you don't fuck me, buster, I will ruin you." 1855 01:18:18,910 --> 01:18:20,100 Hmm. That's harassment. 1856 01:18:20,750 --> 01:18:22,100 That's why he quit. 1857 01:18:22,510 --> 01:18:24,890 You seem like you feel better. Here we go. 1858 01:18:24,950 --> 01:18:26,060 Wait! No, guys, 1859 01:18:26,310 --> 01:18:28,220 we can't go in there looking like this. 1860 01:18:30,950 --> 01:18:32,010 Hey, Carol? 1861 01:18:32,910 --> 01:18:34,260 Why don't you give me your coat? 1862 01:18:48,550 --> 01:18:51,740 - How we doing tonight? - Private party. Members only. 1863 01:18:52,910 --> 01:18:54,350 Well, I'm a businessman. 1864 01:18:54,510 --> 01:18:55,900 These are my business ladies 1865 01:18:56,150 --> 01:18:58,140 of the night. You hear what I'm saying to you? 1866 01:18:58,590 --> 01:18:59,730 They only come out at night. 1867 01:18:59,870 --> 01:19:01,230 - Okay. Okay. - Mostly for parties. 1868 01:19:08,310 --> 01:19:10,460 It's a beautiful language. 1869 01:19:12,910 --> 01:19:14,660 Nice, Carol. 1870 01:19:20,310 --> 01:19:21,900 Seems like an appropriate setting 1871 01:19:21,950 --> 01:19:23,540 for an emotional rock bottom. 1872 01:19:25,950 --> 01:19:27,900 Oh, there's a back room. 1873 01:19:37,670 --> 01:19:38,700 Hi. 1874 01:19:38,790 --> 01:19:41,020 How you doing? Have you seen a guy in a Santa suit? 1875 01:19:41,230 --> 01:19:43,220 Fuck you. I don't tell you anything. 1876 01:19:43,470 --> 01:19:45,110 - All right, now listen here. - Nuh-uh-uh. 1877 01:19:50,150 --> 01:19:52,340 Hi. Me again. Where's Santa? 1878 01:19:52,710 --> 01:19:53,930 Fuck you. 1879 01:19:54,670 --> 01:19:56,900 You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here. 1880 01:19:57,310 --> 01:19:59,000 It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy, 1881 01:19:59,030 --> 01:20:01,540 and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater. 1882 01:20:02,870 --> 01:20:03,900 Nope, no tap outs. 1883 01:20:05,030 --> 01:20:06,660 Back door? Thank you. 1884 01:20:06,910 --> 01:20:08,300 - Bitch. - What? 1885 01:20:09,950 --> 01:20:11,060 Was that too much? 1886 01:20:11,270 --> 01:20:13,060 - Just a little. - I loved it. 1887 01:20:13,350 --> 01:20:14,490 Let's go. 1888 01:20:14,910 --> 01:20:16,740 - Hey! - Oh, God. 1889 01:20:16,910 --> 01:20:18,300 Oh. Go. I got this. Go, go. 1890 01:20:18,550 --> 01:20:19,900 Okay. Enjoy. 1891 01:20:21,550 --> 01:20:23,220 Come on, let's party. 1892 01:20:24,350 --> 01:20:27,780 Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me! 1893 01:20:27,910 --> 01:20:28,940 Clay! 1894 01:20:30,030 --> 01:20:31,580 What did he say? 1895 01:20:31,710 --> 01:20:32,840 I think I know where they're going. 1896 01:20:32,870 --> 01:20:33,950 Let's get the car. Come on! 1897 01:20:37,910 --> 01:20:39,220 Let's go! 1898 01:20:41,910 --> 01:20:42,910 Excuse me. Excuse me. 1899 01:20:42,950 --> 01:20:45,220 Hey, Mary? Mary, get in the car! 1900 01:20:46,910 --> 01:20:48,300 Damn it. 1901 01:21:01,350 --> 01:21:05,050 # God rest ye merry gentlemen 1902 01:21:05,710 --> 01:21:08,580 # Let nothing you dismay 1903 01:21:09,910 --> 01:21:13,100 # Remember Christ the Saviour 1904 01:21:13,750 --> 01:21:16,780 # Was born on Christmas Day 1905 01:21:17,590 --> 01:21:21,340 # To save us all from Satan's power 1906 01:21:21,790 --> 01:21:24,300 # When we were gone astray 1907 01:21:26,070 --> 01:21:30,660 # Tidings of comfort and joy 1908 01:21:30,950 --> 01:21:32,460 # Comfort and joy 1909 01:21:32,910 --> 01:21:36,690 # Oh, tidings of comfort 1910 01:21:36,910 --> 01:21:40,260 # Comfort and joy! # 1911 01:21:59,710 --> 01:22:02,270 - Oh, God. - Yeah, I fucked up. I did. 1912 01:22:02,710 --> 01:22:03,900 I lost a lot of people's jobs. 1913 01:22:03,910 --> 01:22:05,780 I hurt a lot of good people tonight. 1914 01:22:05,910 --> 01:22:07,300 Oh, yeah, totally. Cool story. 1915 01:22:07,470 --> 01:22:08,720 Are we coming up to your apartment building 1916 01:22:08,750 --> 01:22:09,990 on the left, to the right, or... 1917 01:22:10,150 --> 01:22:11,390 We're not going to my apartment. 1918 01:22:11,510 --> 01:22:12,570 Uh, yes, we are. 1919 01:22:12,790 --> 01:22:14,560 We are going to your apartment to go to the safe. 1920 01:22:14,590 --> 01:22:16,580 There's nothing safe about what we're gonna do. 1921 01:22:16,910 --> 01:22:18,270 Yeah, it's like you said, you know. 1922 01:22:18,310 --> 01:22:20,690 We need to escape them, so that's what we're gonna do. 1923 01:22:20,910 --> 01:22:22,500 - Red light. - What the fuck 1924 01:22:22,710 --> 01:22:23,900 are you talking about? There's a red light! 1925 01:22:23,910 --> 01:22:24,910 That's a red light! 1926 01:22:27,550 --> 01:22:29,100 Oh, yeah! 1927 01:22:29,790 --> 01:22:32,250 We go right through 'em. They're just suggestions. 1928 01:22:35,590 --> 01:22:37,120 - Can you look at that fuck? - Oh, the fucking windshield. 1929 01:22:37,150 --> 01:22:38,260 Are you kidding? Not now! 1930 01:22:38,350 --> 01:22:40,390 That's the A.C., Josh. We don't need that right now. 1931 01:22:40,550 --> 01:22:41,580 What about that? 1932 01:22:41,710 --> 01:22:42,880 Oh. No, that's the recirculating mode. 1933 01:22:42,910 --> 01:22:45,900 How am I gonna run Zenotek without this Genius Bar? 1934 01:22:45,910 --> 01:22:47,080 You can get up here and help if you'd like. 1935 01:22:47,110 --> 01:22:48,500 Okay, my seat's getting hotter. 1936 01:22:48,790 --> 01:22:49,900 Mary, why do you even have a minivan? 1937 01:22:49,910 --> 01:22:51,940 - You don't have kids. - I buy in bulk! 1938 01:22:52,510 --> 01:22:53,720 - Oh! It's them! - Yeah. 1939 01:22:53,750 --> 01:22:55,000 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good eyes. 1940 01:22:55,030 --> 01:22:56,900 Oh, God! What's that smell? 1941 01:22:56,910 --> 01:22:58,070 I'm gonna be honest with you, 1942 01:22:58,110 --> 01:22:59,550 I have been farting this entire time. 1943 01:23:03,470 --> 01:23:04,900 Oh, my gosh. 1944 01:23:05,030 --> 01:23:06,090 Okay, you know what, 1945 01:23:06,230 --> 01:23:07,900 take me to your personal safe right now. 1946 01:23:08,110 --> 01:23:09,590 We don't need money where we're going. 1947 01:23:09,670 --> 01:23:10,890 - Where are we going? - For glory. 1948 01:23:10,910 --> 01:23:12,020 The Clark Street Bridge. 1949 01:23:12,230 --> 01:23:13,500 This time of night it'll be up. 1950 01:23:13,590 --> 01:23:15,890 We're gonna jump the bridge and never look back. 1951 01:23:23,110 --> 01:23:24,150 Okay, new game. Pull over. 1952 01:23:24,270 --> 01:23:25,480 Just pull over or I'll tuck and roll. 1953 01:23:25,510 --> 01:23:26,880 - No, no, no. Trina, Trina. - Just slow down. 1954 01:23:26,910 --> 01:23:28,720 Trina, I've been thinking about this for a while. 1955 01:23:28,750 --> 01:23:29,860 We can make this jump. 1956 01:23:29,910 --> 01:23:30,890 I let a lot of people down, 1957 01:23:30,910 --> 01:23:32,460 but I'm not gonna let you guys down. 1958 01:23:32,550 --> 01:23:34,900 We're gonna escape our families and become anew! 1959 01:23:35,110 --> 01:23:36,300 Pull over right now. 1960 01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:38,020 Or I shoot you in the fucking brain. 1961 01:23:38,230 --> 01:23:39,540 Well, you can't shoot him, 1962 01:23:39,670 --> 01:23:41,220 because then he's gonna crash the car. 1963 01:23:41,470 --> 01:23:43,540 Really, Savannah? Really? 1964 01:23:43,750 --> 01:23:44,890 Why don't you put it in an email 1965 01:23:44,910 --> 01:23:46,040 and c.c. everyone, all right? 1966 01:23:46,070 --> 01:23:47,860 Make double sure everyone got it. 1967 01:23:48,550 --> 01:23:50,740 You know what, you should start a podcast, Savannah, 1968 01:23:50,870 --> 01:23:53,020 called "Savannah Says Fucking Stupid Things Out Loud." 1969 01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:00,910 Clay! 1970 01:24:01,030 --> 01:24:02,540 Clay! Hey, listen, I'm sorry! 1971 01:24:02,670 --> 01:24:03,940 I was never gonna take that job. 1972 01:24:04,270 --> 01:24:05,330 Not good enough! 1973 01:24:05,590 --> 01:24:07,020 Do not jump that bridge. 1974 01:24:07,230 --> 01:24:09,900 I have to do this. Carol's right, I'm a fuckup! 1975 01:24:11,310 --> 01:24:12,340 Shit! 1976 01:24:18,030 --> 01:24:20,660 Pull over, you fucking idiot! 1977 01:24:20,910 --> 01:24:23,290 Or, the nice supportive version? 1978 01:24:23,670 --> 01:24:26,020 Pull over, fucking idiot! 1979 01:24:26,150 --> 01:24:27,260 No. 1980 01:24:27,470 --> 01:24:29,020 Hey, tell him to pull over, lady! 1981 01:24:29,230 --> 01:24:33,220 Look. Pull over! Pull over! Pull over! It doesn't work! 1982 01:24:33,670 --> 01:24:36,300 - It's not working. - None of it works! 1983 01:24:36,550 --> 01:24:37,740 Hey, Clay, 1984 01:24:37,910 --> 01:24:40,660 you jump that bridge, I'm going with you. 1985 01:24:40,870 --> 01:24:41,900 What? No! 1986 01:24:42,110 --> 01:24:43,350 Yes, I am. 1987 01:24:43,470 --> 01:24:45,900 Did you say hit it at 80 or 90, Vin Diesel? 1988 01:24:46,590 --> 01:24:48,890 - Put it into sport. - Here we go. 1989 01:24:51,670 --> 01:24:53,460 Josh, I'm sorry that I said you were safe. 1990 01:24:53,870 --> 01:24:55,740 - You don't have to do this. - Yes, I do. 1991 01:24:55,910 --> 01:24:57,860 Josh, what are you doing, man? 1992 01:24:57,910 --> 01:24:59,860 You go, we all go! 1993 01:25:00,910 --> 01:25:01,910 Fuck. 1994 01:25:02,790 --> 01:25:04,780 I love America! 1995 01:25:09,950 --> 01:25:12,780 I am not gonna die in a minivan. 1996 01:25:13,150 --> 01:25:15,710 Hey, hey, hey! Get off the wheel! 1997 01:25:59,910 --> 01:26:02,580 We could've made that bridge, panty hose. 1998 01:26:04,270 --> 01:26:05,580 Where's Clay? 1999 01:26:13,270 --> 01:26:15,900 It was on your person. 2000 01:26:21,870 --> 01:26:23,580 What did we hit? 2001 01:26:23,910 --> 01:26:25,900 The collision severed the primary fibre line, 2002 01:26:26,030 --> 01:26:27,580 as well as its backup, 2003 01:26:27,790 --> 01:26:29,700 paralyzing Internet, DSL, 2004 01:26:29,790 --> 01:26:31,900 and cellular communications citywide. 2005 01:26:32,150 --> 01:26:34,300 So if you haven't ordered your holiday gifts early, 2006 01:26:34,470 --> 01:26:36,580 you may not be able to order them at all. 2007 01:26:36,910 --> 01:26:38,900 I quit, by the way! 2008 01:26:38,950 --> 01:26:41,330 You quit what? What, Savannah? What'd you quit? 2009 01:26:41,590 --> 01:26:43,100 Just a couple of normal girls here. 2010 01:26:43,470 --> 01:26:44,900 Move it, move it! Clear! 2011 01:26:45,070 --> 01:26:46,500 The Internet's down. 2012 01:26:46,910 --> 01:26:48,260 My brother needs a doctor! 2013 01:26:48,510 --> 01:26:49,900 Ma'am, you're gonna need to wait your turn. 2014 01:26:49,910 --> 01:26:51,680 Will you find someone that will help my brother? 2015 01:26:51,710 --> 01:26:53,900 All of you, just back up! 2016 01:26:54,150 --> 01:26:57,260 Back up. Make a single file line against that wall 2017 01:26:57,510 --> 01:27:00,900 and she will be with you when she has a fucking minute! 2018 01:27:09,310 --> 01:27:12,500 You know, you trying to jump that bridge was really... 2019 01:27:12,750 --> 01:27:14,900 Brave? That what you were going for? 2020 01:27:15,910 --> 01:27:17,660 No. Stupid. I was gonna say stupid. 2021 01:27:17,750 --> 01:27:19,700 No. I... I would say brave. 2022 01:27:19,790 --> 01:27:21,740 - A little brave. - Yeah. Hi. 2023 01:27:21,910 --> 01:27:23,900 - Hey, how is he? - Oh. He's fine. 2024 01:27:23,950 --> 01:27:25,860 In fact, the doctor said that the crash 2025 01:27:25,910 --> 01:27:28,340 actually fixed a previous fracture. 2026 01:27:28,910 --> 01:27:30,740 He's got... He's got this gift. 2027 01:27:30,870 --> 01:27:32,060 I don't... I don't get it. 2028 01:27:32,310 --> 01:27:34,500 - Oh. Thank God he's okay. - Oh, well... 2029 01:27:34,910 --> 01:27:37,060 So, maybe you'll reconsider firing everyone? 2030 01:27:37,350 --> 01:27:39,730 Once it gets out there that we caused this crash, 2031 01:27:39,870 --> 01:27:40,930 the board finds out, 2032 01:27:41,270 --> 01:27:43,260 my ass is fired. No one has a job. 2033 01:27:43,710 --> 01:27:45,860 - So... - Carol? 2034 01:27:45,950 --> 01:27:48,220 Is now a good time to exchange insurance information 2035 01:27:48,310 --> 01:27:49,580 for the car stuff? 2036 01:27:49,790 --> 01:27:52,580 It's not. You know, we would've made it, by the way. 2037 01:27:52,790 --> 01:27:54,900 - At the speed you were going? - Comfortably. 2038 01:27:55,030 --> 01:27:57,060 Please. To make that jump, with that incline, 2039 01:27:57,150 --> 01:27:59,100 you would have had to at least been going... 2040 01:27:59,310 --> 01:28:00,900 - 110. - 95. 2041 01:28:02,510 --> 01:28:03,900 No, 95. 2042 01:28:04,590 --> 01:28:07,150 - It's simple math. - Oh. Well, okay. 2043 01:28:07,350 --> 01:28:09,220 It might be simple on paper, 2044 01:28:09,310 --> 01:28:12,340 but you're forgetting the wind, the weight of the Kia, 2045 01:28:12,910 --> 01:28:14,580 the four of us, 2046 01:28:15,150 --> 01:28:16,260 bird cages... 2047 01:28:16,550 --> 01:28:19,740 I prefer to call them bird condos, and so do the birds. 2048 01:28:20,110 --> 01:28:22,700 Point being, you have to adjust your numbers 2049 01:28:22,790 --> 01:28:25,090 to account for real world conditions. 2050 01:28:25,710 --> 01:28:28,900 Simple. Or did they not teach you that in hacker college? 2051 01:28:29,110 --> 01:28:30,220 You're right. 2052 01:28:30,350 --> 01:28:31,460 Thank you. 2053 01:28:31,950 --> 01:28:33,260 No, not about that. 2054 01:28:33,350 --> 01:28:35,140 Although hacker college does sound awesome. 2055 01:28:35,910 --> 01:28:38,060 It's AnywAir. I've been doing it wrong. 2056 01:28:40,550 --> 01:28:42,780 I... I've been treating the power grid 2057 01:28:42,910 --> 01:28:44,660 as if it was a seamless source of Internet. 2058 01:28:44,910 --> 01:28:47,210 It's not seamless, it's messy. It... 2059 01:28:48,110 --> 01:28:49,900 But if there was an opportunity 2060 01:28:50,910 --> 01:28:52,900 where the conditions were just right. 2061 01:28:53,670 --> 01:28:56,700 If we were inside of a vacuum. If it was still. 2062 01:28:57,110 --> 01:28:58,900 Oh, my God. 2063 01:28:59,110 --> 01:29:00,950 - An Internet blackout. - An Internet blackout! 2064 01:29:01,070 --> 01:29:02,200 Let's get you back to the office. 2065 01:29:02,230 --> 01:29:03,260 - Yes! - Come on. 2066 01:29:03,910 --> 01:29:06,020 I'm gonna text you that claims form, yeah? 2067 01:29:14,910 --> 01:29:17,900 - I'm sorry, Mary. - Go save the company! 2068 01:29:43,910 --> 01:29:45,300 Mum? 2069 01:29:46,910 --> 01:29:48,100 Dad? 2070 01:30:11,550 --> 01:30:12,580 Oh, my... 2071 01:30:15,270 --> 01:30:16,860 Oh. Hey. 2072 01:30:17,110 --> 01:30:18,140 Hey. 2073 01:30:21,910 --> 01:30:22,940 Carla! 2074 01:30:23,070 --> 01:30:24,340 - Wassup? - Morning. 2075 01:30:24,550 --> 01:30:26,900 I tased as many as I could, but... 2076 01:30:27,310 --> 01:30:29,630 Yeah. Well, I actually thought it was gonna be worse, so... 2077 01:30:29,910 --> 01:30:30,910 Uh-uh! 2078 01:30:31,030 --> 01:30:33,660 I see you, bitch! Uh-uh, bitch, I see you! 2079 01:30:33,910 --> 01:30:35,500 Your office was locked, right? 2080 01:30:35,590 --> 01:30:36,860 Yeah, of course. 2081 01:30:37,030 --> 01:30:39,780 - What... What's happening? - Did you guys find Clay? 2082 01:30:48,910 --> 01:30:50,700 - Sorry. Old habit. - Sure. 2083 01:30:51,030 --> 01:30:53,460 Okay. So, what... You're writing an algorithm 2084 01:30:53,550 --> 01:30:55,580 that can respond to the grid in real time? 2085 01:30:55,790 --> 01:30:57,340 - That's gonna take... - Done. 2086 01:30:58,670 --> 01:30:59,700 Forever. 2087 01:31:00,110 --> 01:31:02,300 Nate! How's that server bank? 2088 01:31:02,790 --> 01:31:04,740 Still covered in beer! Five minutes! 2089 01:31:04,910 --> 01:31:06,540 I hope it's beer. 2090 01:31:07,910 --> 01:31:08,940 Hey. 2091 01:31:09,070 --> 01:31:10,340 Uh, about what happened... 2092 01:31:10,510 --> 01:31:11,900 All good. Everyone has their thing. 2093 01:31:11,910 --> 01:31:14,020 I know it seems weird, but I just crave discipline. 2094 01:31:14,110 --> 01:31:15,780 My family had no set meal times. 2095 01:31:15,910 --> 01:31:18,020 Yeah, it's cool. I don't need your origin story. 2096 01:31:18,270 --> 01:31:20,300 Promise me you won't tell anyone? 2097 01:31:20,750 --> 01:31:22,340 - I'll do your taxes! - Deal. 2098 01:31:22,710 --> 01:31:23,740 Great. 2099 01:31:23,910 --> 01:31:26,900 Oh, my God, the office. Hey, guys, I got doughnuts! 2100 01:31:27,110 --> 01:31:29,900 I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh, 2101 01:31:30,310 --> 01:31:31,900 some other stuff. But no Cronuts, 2102 01:31:31,910 --> 01:31:33,300 that's a bastard pastry. 2103 01:31:36,910 --> 01:31:38,580 I still hate your rules. 2104 01:31:39,510 --> 01:31:41,580 But your dancing is 2105 01:31:41,910 --> 01:31:43,340 wild and free. 2106 01:31:43,750 --> 01:31:45,740 Like an unmanned fire hose. 2107 01:31:47,910 --> 01:31:49,700 Put your pants on. 2108 01:31:52,870 --> 01:31:54,010 For now. 2109 01:31:56,030 --> 01:31:57,700 Now, we can't fix the Internet 2110 01:31:57,790 --> 01:31:58,900 if we can't get on the Internet. 2111 01:31:58,910 --> 01:32:00,130 Everything is down. 2112 01:32:00,350 --> 01:32:01,720 Okay, well, all the phones are working. 2113 01:32:01,750 --> 01:32:02,890 What about a dial-up modem? 2114 01:32:02,910 --> 01:32:04,320 Great. Now all you need is a RadioShack 2115 01:32:04,350 --> 01:32:05,490 and a time machine. 2116 01:32:05,590 --> 01:32:08,100 - Oh, the G1 had it, right? - There's one in Clay's office. 2117 01:32:08,270 --> 01:32:09,430 I got the desk. Get the desk. 2118 01:32:09,470 --> 01:32:11,850 Okay, give me the wires. Plug it in here. Give me that. 2119 01:32:11,910 --> 01:32:14,020 Hey, I could use some of that giddy-up in H.R. 2120 01:32:14,110 --> 01:32:15,920 if you two ponies are looking for a new stable. 2121 01:32:15,950 --> 01:32:17,120 I am looking for a new stable, Mary. 2122 01:32:17,150 --> 01:32:18,480 Thank you so much. We'll talk later. 2123 01:32:18,510 --> 01:32:19,640 Mary, you're showing a lot of neck. 2124 01:32:19,670 --> 01:32:20,730 Breaking your own rules. 2125 01:32:20,910 --> 01:32:22,700 It's a little skanky, isn't it? 2126 01:32:22,910 --> 01:32:24,260 - Plug it in. - Plugged in. 2127 01:32:24,510 --> 01:32:25,900 Uh, I got this D.J. equipment, 2128 01:32:26,030 --> 01:32:27,240 if you want to use that for something. 2129 01:32:27,270 --> 01:32:28,950 Okay, that's not gonna help, but thank you. 2130 01:32:29,310 --> 01:32:30,340 All right, guys. 2131 01:32:31,070 --> 01:32:32,100 What now? 2132 01:32:32,310 --> 01:32:34,690 I press "Enter," it launches the protocol, and then... 2133 01:32:34,790 --> 01:32:36,120 And then everybody gets back on the Internet. 2134 01:32:36,150 --> 01:32:37,290 Hopefully. 2135 01:32:37,470 --> 01:32:38,900 Or I blow up the power grid. 2136 01:32:39,110 --> 01:32:41,020 - So be ready for that. - Okay? 2137 01:32:41,230 --> 01:32:43,460 Don't worry about that. Just hit "Enter." 2138 01:32:43,750 --> 01:32:44,890 Okay, guys. 2139 01:32:45,750 --> 01:32:46,780 Here we go. 2140 01:32:55,910 --> 01:32:57,500 Power's still on. 2141 01:32:57,590 --> 01:32:59,140 Yeah, I'm honestly shocked by that. 2142 01:32:59,350 --> 01:33:00,700 No Internet yet, though. 2143 01:33:00,790 --> 01:33:01,900 It could take a few seconds. 2144 01:33:01,910 --> 01:33:03,740 If it works, you'll have a connection alert. 2145 01:33:04,110 --> 01:33:05,860 - No. - No, nothing. 2146 01:33:06,030 --> 01:33:07,660 Nothing yet. 2147 01:33:09,350 --> 01:33:10,900 - No? Anybody? - No. 2148 01:33:11,030 --> 01:33:12,140 No, nothing. 2149 01:33:12,270 --> 01:33:13,300 Josh? 2150 01:33:13,510 --> 01:33:14,910 No. Just give it a little more time. 2151 01:33:17,270 --> 01:33:18,900 Maybe it wasn't ready. 2152 01:33:19,270 --> 01:33:20,940 Tracey, hey. 2153 01:33:21,350 --> 01:33:22,780 It's ready. 2154 01:33:23,110 --> 01:33:25,460 Still dead. Waiting for it. Still dead. 2155 01:33:31,910 --> 01:33:32,910 - Is that you? - Got it. 2156 01:33:33,030 --> 01:33:34,060 - Got it! - Oh, my God. 2157 01:33:34,510 --> 01:33:36,260 - Yep, I got it. - Oh, my God! 2158 01:33:36,670 --> 01:33:37,890 - Was that you? - I got it! 2159 01:33:38,030 --> 01:33:39,480 Yeah, I got it, too! 2160 01:33:39,510 --> 01:33:42,340 I got mine! Yeah. Yeah, there's mine. Holy shit! 2161 01:33:42,790 --> 01:33:44,010 - Tracey! - You did it! 2162 01:34:07,710 --> 01:34:09,260 Work never stops. You see that? 2163 01:34:09,510 --> 01:34:11,340 Excuse me. Excuse me. 2164 01:34:11,790 --> 01:34:14,140 Hello, yes. I am happy for you, but I do need you to 2165 01:34:14,350 --> 01:34:16,500 sign a personal relationship disclosure form 2166 01:34:16,590 --> 01:34:17,700 before this rounds first. 2167 01:34:17,790 --> 01:34:19,340 No. No, I don't think so. 2168 01:34:19,590 --> 01:34:21,940 Hey, Mary, sign this. 2169 01:34:22,070 --> 01:34:25,140 Oh. Oh, you know what? Um, I really like you, 2170 01:34:25,510 --> 01:34:27,680 um, but maybe we could get, like, a cup of coffee first, 2171 01:34:27,710 --> 01:34:28,770 or something? 2172 01:34:28,910 --> 01:34:30,780 Yeah! Totally. 2173 01:34:30,910 --> 01:34:33,140 That's what I meant by, "Sign this." 2174 01:34:33,590 --> 01:34:35,140 - You know what? Forget it. - Okay. 2175 01:34:46,030 --> 01:34:48,220 Glass of wine in a family photo? 2176 01:34:48,470 --> 01:34:50,700 Look at him in that suit. What a stud. 2177 01:34:51,030 --> 01:34:53,020 He wore that better than you. 2178 01:34:53,230 --> 01:34:55,660 Yeah, he did a lot of things better than me. 2179 01:34:55,910 --> 01:34:57,580 You're right to be pissed at me. 2180 01:34:57,790 --> 01:34:59,200 You know, I always got to do whatever I wanted 2181 01:34:59,230 --> 01:35:00,290 and you always ended up 2182 01:35:00,470 --> 01:35:01,670 with the shit end of the stick. 2183 01:35:01,790 --> 01:35:03,140 It wasn't fair. 2184 01:35:04,510 --> 01:35:05,940 I'm sorry, sis. 2185 01:35:06,790 --> 01:35:08,900 Thank you for that. 2186 01:35:09,790 --> 01:35:11,780 You never got to be the fun one, huh? 2187 01:35:11,910 --> 01:35:13,660 - I mean, I could have. Right? - Yeah. 2188 01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:15,120 - Sure. - I have... I have a fun side. 2189 01:35:15,150 --> 01:35:17,340 I've seen it many a time. 2190 01:35:17,590 --> 01:35:18,700 I mean... 2191 01:35:18,910 --> 01:35:20,700 Off the top of my head, I... 2192 01:35:20,910 --> 01:35:22,900 Remember that Thanksgiving that you taught everybody 2193 01:35:22,910 --> 01:35:24,700 the real rules of Monopoly? 2194 01:35:24,910 --> 01:35:27,030 With the bidding wars and the strict time limit and... 2195 01:35:27,070 --> 01:35:29,260 - Yeah, that wasn't fun. - I know. 2196 01:35:29,510 --> 01:35:32,860 Hi! My pain is at a 9 or a 10 or 11. 2197 01:35:32,910 --> 01:35:34,500 Whatever on the chart, the... 2198 01:35:34,910 --> 01:35:35,910 That face? 2199 01:35:36,270 --> 01:35:37,540 So can I get some Dilaudid 2200 01:35:37,670 --> 01:35:39,430 in another one of those little gelatine cups? 2201 01:35:39,710 --> 01:35:41,900 You can't buy those. I looked it up. 2202 01:35:44,710 --> 01:35:46,900 Huh. The Internet's back up. 2203 01:35:47,510 --> 01:35:49,580 What the hell is a Zenotek? 2204 01:35:50,070 --> 01:35:51,260 - What? - What? 2205 01:35:52,870 --> 01:35:56,860 Oh, my God! She did it. She did it! 2206 01:35:56,910 --> 01:35:58,660 - Shut the fuck door! - Oh. 2207 01:35:58,870 --> 01:35:59,900 I gotta tell you, I was always like, 2208 01:35:59,910 --> 01:36:01,460 "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," 2209 01:36:01,670 --> 01:36:03,150 and she was like, "Words, words, words 2210 01:36:03,230 --> 01:36:04,900 "and some numbers." But she did it. 2211 01:36:05,710 --> 01:36:06,850 Oh, my God. 2212 01:36:06,910 --> 01:36:08,560 Wait. So, this means everybody gets to keep their jobs? 2213 01:36:08,590 --> 01:36:09,760 Everybody gets to keep their jobs. 2214 01:36:09,790 --> 01:36:10,900 Yes! 2215 01:36:10,950 --> 01:36:13,060 God, I am gonna be CEO. 2216 01:36:13,510 --> 01:36:15,060 Because you deserve it. 2217 01:36:15,750 --> 01:36:17,900 And you throw a great fucking party. 2218 01:36:18,150 --> 01:36:20,260 Yeah. I did, didn't I? 2219 01:36:21,350 --> 01:36:22,900 - Oh! Walter. - Walter. 2220 01:36:23,910 --> 01:36:24,940 - Oh, hello. - Hi. 2221 01:36:25,350 --> 01:36:27,140 - Carol. - Carol, nice to meet you. 2222 01:36:27,350 --> 01:36:29,140 There's my eagle. Hey. 2223 01:36:29,710 --> 01:36:33,060 I just want to thank you for the best night of my life! 2224 01:36:33,510 --> 01:36:34,700 Yeah? Yeah? 2225 01:36:35,310 --> 01:36:36,900 I'll see you on Monday. 2226 01:36:39,670 --> 01:36:41,900 Well, it looks like we just hired Walter Davis. 2227 01:36:43,910 --> 01:36:45,700 Well, he'll fit right in. 2228 01:36:47,270 --> 01:36:48,330 Wow. 2229 01:36:48,510 --> 01:36:49,900 Did you see that? 2230 01:36:51,350 --> 01:36:52,490 Oh. 2231 01:36:52,870 --> 01:36:54,700 - What are you doing? - Winner! 2232 01:36:54,910 --> 01:36:56,940 - We weren't racing. - Well, you weren't. 2233 01:36:57,350 --> 01:36:59,470 Why do you think they always make you leave a hospital 2234 01:36:59,550 --> 01:37:00,900 in a wheelchair? 2235 01:37:05,710 --> 01:37:07,060 What are you guys doing here? 2236 01:37:07,270 --> 01:37:08,950 Well, we can't go to breakfast without you. 2237 01:37:09,070 --> 01:37:11,270 - Come on, we're celebrating. - Come on, let's go. 2238 01:37:11,910 --> 01:37:14,860 I'm in. Breakfast is the most important meal 2239 01:37:14,910 --> 01:37:15,940 - of the morning. - Whoa! 2240 01:37:16,070 --> 01:37:17,780 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa. 2241 01:37:17,910 --> 01:37:18,910 We good? 2242 01:37:19,910 --> 01:37:21,900 Yeah. We're good. 2243 01:37:22,270 --> 01:37:24,500 - I'll go back down. - Your ankle is broken. 2244 01:37:24,710 --> 01:37:26,740 - Excuse me. Excuse me. - Yes. 2245 01:37:26,870 --> 01:37:28,120 - Oh. - You left this in your room. 2246 01:37:28,150 --> 01:37:29,900 Oh, I did. Thank you. I'm sorry. 2247 01:37:30,270 --> 01:37:31,700 And also this. 2248 01:37:32,070 --> 01:37:34,500 Oh, thank you, Doctor. Here. 2249 01:37:35,590 --> 01:37:36,650 No. 2250 01:37:36,750 --> 01:37:38,040 - Wanna get out of here? - Let's go. 2251 01:37:38,070 --> 01:37:40,500 Oh, no. I'm not getting in that. I ordered us an Uber. 2252 01:37:40,590 --> 01:37:41,650 Carol? 2253 01:37:41,750 --> 01:37:44,740 I don't mean this in a creepy way, but get in the van. 2254 01:37:44,910 --> 01:37:46,470 Yeah, we got to keep this train rolling. 2255 01:37:46,590 --> 01:37:47,700 - No. - Yes. 2256 01:37:47,790 --> 01:37:50,140 No! You cannot have alcohol on your medication. 2257 01:37:50,510 --> 01:37:52,060 Uh, fuck that. Drinking is medication. 2258 01:37:52,350 --> 01:37:54,150 Doctor, this is a... This is a work breakfast. 2259 01:37:54,230 --> 01:37:55,900 There will be no alcohol at all. 2260 01:37:55,910 --> 01:37:56,940 Okay? 2261 01:37:58,950 --> 01:38:00,220 Yeah. 2262 01:38:00,350 --> 01:38:01,540 I saw that. 2263 01:38:01,670 --> 01:38:03,900 Doctor, I assure you. I am in charge. 2264 01:38:04,030 --> 01:38:06,060 There will be no more partying. 2265 01:38:07,790 --> 01:38:09,900 I'm literally standing right in front of you. 2266 01:38:09,910 --> 01:38:10,910 I'm literally right here. 2267 01:38:11,070 --> 01:38:13,500 I just don't know what it is you think that I'm not seeing. 2268 01:38:13,710 --> 01:38:16,900 Doctor, I would never disobey medical advice. 2269 01:38:18,710 --> 01:38:19,900 Just go, just go. 2270 01:38:19,950 --> 01:38:21,120 It's an office thing. Here we go. 2271 01:38:21,150 --> 01:38:22,280 - Merry Christmas. - Let's go. 2272 01:38:22,310 --> 01:38:23,700 Let's roll it to the car. 2273 01:38:23,790 --> 01:38:25,060 Okay, Happy Holidays. 2274 01:38:25,310 --> 01:38:26,900 Thank you for your service, Doctor. 2275 01:38:26,910 --> 01:38:28,660 Okay. 2276 01:38:29,510 --> 01:38:31,890 Okay. You need any help working your way out of here? 2277 01:38:32,070 --> 01:38:34,260 Please, Josh. I was born in a U-Haul. 2278 01:38:42,270 --> 01:38:43,330 Hey, Carol! 2279 01:38:43,910 --> 01:38:46,340 - Are you Carol? - What? Uh, no. 2280 01:38:46,790 --> 01:38:48,780 Are you sure? You look like a Carol. 2281 01:38:50,510 --> 01:38:52,780 Can you not hear me? Carol! 2282 01:38:53,710 --> 01:38:54,900 Carol! 2283 01:38:55,670 --> 01:38:56,700 Ugh. 2284 01:38:58,910 --> 01:39:00,260 Cancelled? 2285 01:39:00,710 --> 01:39:02,780 Bunch of bitches! 2286 01:39:03,110 --> 01:39:05,900 You know red lights are just suggestions. 2287 01:39:05,910 --> 01:39:07,900 Are you smoking a marijuana cigarette right now? 2288 01:39:10,310 --> 01:39:12,900 Yeah! See, we made it through. Let's do another. 2289 01:39:29,910 --> 01:39:31,460 Oh, not again. 2290 01:39:34,550 --> 01:39:35,580 Let me do it again. 2291 01:39:35,710 --> 01:39:37,080 Let me just do it again. I can do it. 2292 01:39:37,110 --> 01:39:39,100 Oh, damn it. 2293 01:39:41,030 --> 01:39:42,540 Shit, shit! 2294 01:39:45,230 --> 01:39:46,670 If you want to make it in this world, 2295 01:39:46,750 --> 01:39:47,860 learn to lie better. 2296 01:39:48,510 --> 01:39:50,020 Your mother's never coming back. 2297 01:39:50,230 --> 01:39:51,860 Merry Christmas! 2298 01:39:55,750 --> 01:39:56,890 Okay, I'm gonna suck my dick. 2299 01:39:56,910 --> 01:39:58,510 She's gonna suck on this one, guys. 2300 01:39:58,550 --> 01:40:00,850 Guys, can we go back to one for sucking my dick? 2301 01:40:05,310 --> 01:40:06,920 I like it 'cause it looks like he's trying 2302 01:40:06,950 --> 01:40:08,540 just a little too hard. 2303 01:40:08,670 --> 01:40:09,730 The artist? 2304 01:40:09,870 --> 01:40:11,540 I hadn't thought about the artist. 2305 01:40:11,750 --> 01:40:14,050 Was this not where you had the key 2306 01:40:14,150 --> 01:40:16,100 to the city of Margaritaville? 2307 01:40:16,230 --> 01:40:19,460 I did it. I got rid of it. 2308 01:40:23,710 --> 01:40:24,900 Canadian cinema 2309 01:40:24,910 --> 01:40:26,900 with a concentration in French-Canadian cinema. 2310 01:40:27,030 --> 01:40:29,860 Canadian music with a concentration in Rush. 2311 01:40:29,910 --> 01:40:32,100 Canadian linguistics. Eh? 2312 01:40:45,750 --> 01:40:48,310 He used all of his inheritance... 2313 01:40:48,750 --> 01:40:50,900 He used all of his inher... 2314 01:40:51,790 --> 01:40:53,900 He used all of his inheritance. 2315 01:40:53,910 --> 01:40:55,300 It's a hard word to say. 2316 01:40:55,750 --> 01:40:59,900 To keep this branch afloat with his in-her-i-tance. 2317 01:41:08,710 --> 01:41:12,300 "Hi, I'm Carol. I have the shingles again." 2318 01:41:12,550 --> 01:41:14,900 "I'm Carol. Has anyone seen my TV Guide?" 2319 01:41:15,230 --> 01:41:17,740 "I'm Carol. Change frightens me." 2320 01:41:17,910 --> 01:41:19,900 "We have to put Carol down. She's old." 2321 01:41:28,910 --> 01:41:31,900 Andrew from the copy room told me that he had mono. 2322 01:41:32,270 --> 01:41:33,900 I said I wanted to get mono 2323 01:41:33,910 --> 01:41:36,290 because I wanted to take a month off from work. 2324 01:41:36,710 --> 01:41:38,540 And I kissed him deeply. 2325 01:41:39,710 --> 01:41:41,540 And I didn't get mono! 2326 01:41:43,790 --> 01:41:45,300 Okay, let's reset. 2326 01:41:46,305 --> 01:41:52,787 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org