WEBVTT

﻿1
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:12.074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:33.080 --> 00:00:34.911
<i>E, E, E, E, E.</i>

3
00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.798
<i>Then I would go to, like, a G.
And these are all just power chords.</i>

4
00:00:38.040 --> 00:00:40.416
Hey, how you doing?
You're tuned in to Style Boyz television.

5
00:00:40.440 --> 00:00:42.237
I'm just sparking up.
Style Boyz radio hour.

6
00:00:42.360 --> 00:00:45.193
Sparking up this French fry.
K-F-F-F-R.

7
00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:47.475
I am French Fry Guy.
Hello.

8
00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:49.516
No! French Fry Guy!
I am French Fry Guy.

9
00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:50.600
- Not again!
- Cut!

10
00:00:50.680 --> 00:00:52.477
Yeah!
Style Boyz.

11
00:00:52.560 --> 00:00:53.560
<i>Me likey that</i>

12
00:00:53.640 --> 00:00:56.029
<i>When a genie grants wishes
About girls blowing kisses</i>

13
00:00:56.160 --> 00:00:57.479
<i>And your momma
doing dishes</i>

14
00:00:57.560 --> 00:00:58.629
<i>Me likey that</i>

15
00:00:58.800 --> 00:01:00.916
<i>Okay.
Where to start?</i>

16
00:01:01.160 --> 00:01:04.038
Ever since I was born,
I was dope.

17
00:01:04.760 --> 00:01:07.320
<i>Honey.</i>

18
00:01:08.160 --> 00:01:10.674
Oh, my gosh, sweetie!

19
00:01:11.720 --> 00:01:14.473
<i>I loved music,
and as soon as I could,</i>

20
00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:18.473
<i>I started a band with my two best friends,
Owen and Lawrence.</i>

21
00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:20.437
<i>The Style Boyz.</i>

22
00:01:20.520 --> 00:01:21.919
<i>Right away,
people noticed us</i>

23
00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:25.276
<i>because our lyrics were beautiful
and insightful, poetic even.</i>

24
00:01:25.360 --> 00:01:27.696
<i>You're a motherfucking,
titty-sucking Two-balled bitch</i>

25
00:01:27.720 --> 00:01:29.915
<i>With a popcorn pussy
And a full-on dick</i>

26
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:32.434
<i>Style Boyz in the house
And we give a fuck</i>

27
00:01:32.520 --> 00:01:34.875
<i>So whip out your nuts
And shut the fuck up...</i>

28
00:01:34.960 --> 00:01:36.016
<i>The thing
about the Style Boyz</i>

29
00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:39.271
is that their chemistry and their
friendship was really authentic.

30
00:01:39.360 --> 00:01:41.936
<i>You know, you could tell that they
were really friends with each other.</i>

31
00:01:41.960 --> 00:01:43.234
They were hot.

32
00:01:43.320 --> 00:01:45.520
<i>Before you knew it,
we signed with a major label</i>

33
00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:48.359
and put out our first single,
<i>Karate Guy.</i>

34
00:01:48.440 --> 00:01:50.112
One, two,
three, four.

35
00:01:50.200 --> 00:01:54.113
<i>I like to kick it,
I'm a karate guy</i>

36
00:01:54.200 --> 00:01:56.191
<i>Kiya, kiya</i>

37
00:01:56.280 --> 00:01:57.554
<i>Kiya...</i>

38
00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:00.757
<i>Karate Guy?</i>
Are you kidding me, man?

39
00:02:00.840 --> 00:02:02.956
That song
changed my life.

40
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:05.315
<i>Now I'm in
a cowboy hat</i>

41
00:02:05.400 --> 00:02:06.628
<i>Yee-haw, yee-haw</i>

42
00:02:06.720 --> 00:02:08.995
<i>Now I'm in
a cowboy hat</i>

43
00:02:09.080 --> 00:02:10.280
<i>Yee-haw, yee-haw</i>

44
00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:12.709
<i>Now I'm in
three cowboy hats</i>

45
00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:14.119
<i>Yee-haw</i>

46
00:02:14.200 --> 00:02:16.360
<i>Kid Contact.
He handled the beats and the music.</i>

47
00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:18.231
<i>Kid Brain, you know,
he did all the lyrics.</i>

48
00:02:18.320 --> 00:02:19.856
<i>And then, Conner,
he was the charismatic one.</i>

49
00:02:19.880 --> 00:02:21.757
<i>The one who brought it
all together.</i>

50
00:02:21.920 --> 00:02:25.390
You tell me you didn't see him and say,
"Yo, he's the star."

51
00:02:25.480 --> 00:02:28.119
<i>Things definitely
started to get complicated.</i>

52
00:02:28.200 --> 00:02:30.316
<i>I couldn't help it
if the world chose me.</i>

53
00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:31.400
Take one.

54
00:02:31.480 --> 00:02:32.480
You want me
to look here?

55
00:02:32.560 --> 00:02:34.630
Pretty funny, right?

56
00:02:34.720 --> 00:02:37.473
<i>Be original.
Be fearless.</i>

57
00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:40.154
<i>I love my
White Butt Jeans.</i>

58
00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:42.879
<i>As my star kept burning brighter,
some stood by me.</i>

59
00:02:42.960 --> 00:02:44.916
<i>Others couldn't
take the heat.</i>

60
00:02:54.760 --> 00:02:56.159
<i>We broke up
the next day.</i>

61
00:02:56.280 --> 00:02:58.999
<i>I went solo,
and Owen became my DJ.</i>

62
00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:01.389
<i>Lawrence quit
the music biz altogether.</i>

63
00:03:01.480 --> 00:03:04.597
<i>And our DJ, Francis,
moved to Japan to hunt dolphins,</i>

64
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:06.119
<i>like a dickhead.</i>

65
00:03:06.200 --> 00:03:09.510
<i>But it turned out all of that
was just a blessing in disguise</i>

66
00:03:09.600 --> 00:03:12.751
<i>because it turned me into Conner4Real.</i>

67
00:03:12.880 --> 00:03:16.839
<i>I dropped my first album.
And what can I say? It was a smash.</i>

68
00:03:16.920 --> 00:03:21.118
<i>And I owed it all to my fans,
who I share everything with.</i>

69
00:03:21.200 --> 00:03:22.918
<i>Yo, brushing my teeth.</i>

70
00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:25.150
<i>Yo, I just ate
a taco.</i>

71
00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:27.913
<i>It's Conner's Confessions,
hoverboard edition.</i>

72
00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:29.399
<i>Oh, fuck.</i>

73
00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:30.520
<i>Dude.</i>

74
00:03:30.600 --> 00:03:32.636
<i>Yo, just got
my butt waxed.</i>

75
00:03:33.640 --> 00:03:35.198
<i>That shit hurt.</i>

76
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:38.397
He's painfully honest with his fans,
probably too honest, really, like...

77
00:03:38.480 --> 00:03:39.515
But they
love him for it.

78
00:03:39.600 --> 00:03:42.319
<i>Yo, just jacked it.</i>

79
00:03:42.480 --> 00:03:44.948
<i>Um... Feeling pretty
mellow right now.</i>

80
00:03:45.040 --> 00:03:46.040
<i>Doink de doink.</i>

81
00:03:46.160 --> 00:03:47.878
<i>Doink de doink.</i>

82
00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:50.428
Doink de doink.

83
00:03:50.520 --> 00:03:53.830
I think he's incredible.
He really is the real deal.

84
00:03:54.640 --> 00:03:57.916
<i>My fans and me,
we're in love.</i>

85
00:03:58.440 --> 00:04:03.673
<i>My songs are love letters,
and the arena is our bedroom.</i>

86
00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:09.231
The stage...
The stage is where we fuck.

87
00:04:14.760 --> 00:04:15.760
<i>Watch out
Watch out...</i>

88
00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:16.875
It's Conner!

89
00:04:16.960 --> 00:04:20.191
<i>Bar none,
I am the most humblest</i>

90
00:04:20.320 --> 00:04:23.596
<i>Number one at the top
of the humble list</i>

91
00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:26.752
<i>My apple crumble is by far
The most crumblest</i>

92
00:04:26.840 --> 00:04:30.116
<i>But I act like it tastes bad
out of humbleness</i>

93
00:04:30.200 --> 00:04:33.397
<i>The thing about me
that's so impressive</i>

94
00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:37.029
<i>Is how infrequently
I mention all of my successes</i>

95
00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:40.271
<i>I poo-poo it When girls say
that I should model</i>

96
00:04:40.360 --> 00:04:42.920
<i>My belly's full from all
the pride I swallow</i>

97
00:04:44.200 --> 00:04:46.270
<i>I've got it all
And I'm getting more</i>

98
00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:47.793
<i>Adam Levine's hologram!</i>

99
00:04:47.880 --> 00:04:49.233
<i>But I never fall
Beat them all</i>

100
00:04:49.320 --> 00:04:51.629
<i>'Cause you know I'm so humble</i>

101
00:04:51.720 --> 00:04:53.392
<i>So expensive.</i>

102
00:04:53.520 --> 00:04:57.433
<i>I'm so humble
I'm so humble</i>

103
00:04:57.520 --> 00:05:01.195
<i>I'm not your normal
definition of a rock star</i>

104
00:05:01.320 --> 00:05:04.392
<i>I don't complain
When my private jet is subpar</i>

105
00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:07.711
<i>Your mom's old But I'll ask
if she's your sister</i>

106
00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:11.156
<i>People say I'm charming
But I beg to differ</i>

107
00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:13.674
<i>I feel more humble
Than Dikembe Mutombo</i>

108
00:05:13.760 --> 00:05:17.309
<i>After a stumble left him
covered In a big pot of gumbo</i>

109
00:05:17.400 --> 00:05:20.551
<i>I guess, in a way,
being gracious Is my weakness</i>

110
00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:24.997
<i>People say I'm so
unpretentious For a genius</i>

111
00:05:25.080 --> 00:05:27.992
<i>I've got it all
And I'm getting more</i>

112
00:05:28.080 --> 00:05:30.230
<i>But I never fall
Beat them all</i>

113
00:05:30.320 --> 00:05:32.675
<i>'Cause you know
I'm so humble</i>

114
00:05:32.760 --> 00:05:34.040
<i>I say that
with no ego.</i>

115
00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:38.313
<i>I'm so humble
I'm so humble</i>

116
00:05:43.400 --> 00:05:45.277
<i>Watch out
Watch out</i>

117
00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:49.910
<i>I'm So Humble,
I instantly connected with that</i>

118
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:54.437
because I'm probably
the most humble person that I know.

119
00:06:04.120 --> 00:06:06.616
<i>Yeah, well, it's a pretty
exciting time right now.</i>

120
00:06:06.640 --> 00:06:09.871
Conner's second album,
his second solo album, <i>CONNquest,</i>

121
00:06:09.960 --> 00:06:11.916
<i>is dropping in two weeks.</i>

122
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:14.070
<i>And then we go
on the world tour.</i>

123
00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:15.195
Harry, get in here, man.

124
00:06:15.280 --> 00:06:17.616
<i>I've been Conner's manager
since back with the Style Boyz.</i>

125
00:06:17.640 --> 00:06:19.915
<i>It used to be the four of us
riding around in a van.</i>

126
00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:23.959
<i>But, uh, with success,
our family had to get a little bit bigger.</i>

127
00:06:24.040 --> 00:06:28.079
Sure, Conner surrounds himself
with people who are agreeable.

128
00:06:28.400 --> 00:06:30.016
<i>- I wouldn't call them yes men.</i>
- Whoo!

129
00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:31.553
- Money!
- Oh!

130
00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:36.752
It went in! It went in!
You a murderer, son!

131
00:06:36.840 --> 00:06:40.196
Well, Conner currently has 32 people
on his personal payroll.

132
00:06:40.280 --> 00:06:43.511
<i>He has a personal assistant,
a party coordinator, an ab trainer,</i>

133
00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:45.716
<i>basketball coach,
an eyebrow specialist,</i>

134
00:06:45.840 --> 00:06:48.195
<i>sneaker jockey,
two umbrella wranglers,</i>

135
00:06:48.280 --> 00:06:52.353
<i>a weed roller, a weed holder,
a turtle sitter for Maximus, scarf caddy...</i>

136
00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:54.136
<i>...a guy who punches him
in the nuts</i>

137
00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:56.136
<i>so that he remembers where he came from...</i>
You're right.

138
00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:58.116
...a perspective
manipulator...

139
00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:02.514
Oh! That's a guy who's, uh,
slightly shorter than Conner

140
00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:06.839
<i>who he pays to stand near him at
events to make him look taller.</i>

141
00:07:07.960 --> 00:07:10.520
<i>You know, back in my
high school days I was in a band.</i>

142
00:07:10.600 --> 00:07:13.512
You may have heard of them,
called Tony! Toni! Tone! Tonee?

143
00:07:14.320 --> 00:07:15.992
<i>We broke up over
creative differences.</i>

144
00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:18.634
<i>Each Tony had an exclamation
point after their name,</i>

145
00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:21.075
<i>and I thought my name
should have a question mark.</i>

146
00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:23.993
So it would be T ony!
Toni! Tone! Tonee?

147
00:07:24.360 --> 00:07:27.079
<i>In hindsight,
it was not my best decision,</i>

148
00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:31.153
but that led me to Conner.
So who's laughing now?

149
00:07:31.440 --> 00:07:34.876
Here you go, buddy.
Ow, dude! You bit me, Max.

150
00:07:34.960 --> 00:07:37.394
This is my best
friend Maximus.

151
00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:39.675
My mom gave him to me
when I was nine years old,

152
00:07:39.760 --> 00:07:41.398
like, right after
my dad died.

153
00:07:41.520 --> 00:07:43.680
I feel like he's, like, the closest thing
I've ever had

154
00:07:43.760 --> 00:07:45.398
to, like, a little brother
or something.

155
00:07:45.640 --> 00:07:48.791
If I had, like, a mute brother
that was hella scaly.

156
00:07:48.880 --> 00:07:51.110
<i>As a hatchling,
the doctors said</i>

157
00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:54.630
<i>that he had been diagnosed
with soggy bones syndrome</i>

158
00:07:54.720 --> 00:07:57.518
<i>and that he was not gonna make
it past, like, six months,</i>

159
00:07:57.600 --> 00:07:59.352
<i>but that was 20 years ago.</i>

160
00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:03.269
You're my best friend.
Don't tell Owen.

161
00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:07.114
Come on up here.
This is Owen's world right here.

162
00:08:07.200 --> 00:08:09.191
This is where
I keep all my gear.

163
00:08:09.280 --> 00:08:14.229
This is one of the earliest synths I ever got.
It's a DX7. This is a classic.

164
00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:20.356
Oh, Conner's show?
No, no. In Conner's show I just use this.

165
00:08:20.920 --> 00:08:26.119
It's a iPod, 60 gigs, so, you know,
I can fit the entire show

166
00:08:26.200 --> 00:08:29.590
and, uh, plus, like, a bunch of dope
audio books, you know.

167
00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:31.796
<i>It was year three at Hogwarts,</i>

168
00:08:31.880 --> 00:08:34.599
<i>and Harry was worried
it would never get any easier.</i>

169
00:08:34.920 --> 00:08:35.920
Harry P.

170
00:08:38.640 --> 00:08:40.437
You know,
a lot of people ask me that.

171
00:08:40.520 --> 00:08:42.192
They say, like,
"Is it weird for you

172
00:08:42.280 --> 00:08:43.838
"to be playing
the background now

173
00:08:43.960 --> 00:08:46.190
"'cause, you know,
you used to be in Style Boyz?"

174
00:08:46.280 --> 00:08:47.776
And I always say,
"No, man, not at all!"

175
00:08:47.800 --> 00:08:51.156
Because I... I could never do what
Conner does, you know?

176
00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:53.576
<i>Look, I'm a perfectionist.</i>

177
00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:58.196
<i>My first album sold four million copies,
so this one has to sell more.</i>

178
00:08:58.280 --> 00:08:59.998
<i>And that's why
I take this so seriously,</i>

179
00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:01.832
<i>you know, and I live
for this music.</i>

180
00:09:02.280 --> 00:09:05.955
And...
It can't go away.

181
00:09:06.880 --> 00:09:09.678
<i>That's why I personally wrote
every song on this record,</i>

182
00:09:09.760 --> 00:09:13.036
<i>and I used over 100 producers
for just 17 tracks,</i>

183
00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:15.395
<i>to guarantee
that they're all hits.</i>

184
00:09:15.480 --> 00:09:17.755
I made a lot of the beats
on the first record,

185
00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:21.150
<i>but on this one Conner said he really
wanted to branch out.</i>

186
00:09:21.240 --> 00:09:23.708
It's good for him
to grow, you know.

187
00:09:23.800 --> 00:09:26.473
And, also, I played him a bunch of my beats,
and he was like, "No."

188
00:09:31.880 --> 00:09:34.394
What's up, y'all?
Got a hot new single coming.

189
00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:36.357
It addresses
some social issues

190
00:09:36.440 --> 00:09:38.271
that I think
are being ignored,

191
00:09:38.360 --> 00:09:39.759
so keep your eyes
peeled for that.

192
00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:42.274
We're gonna be surprise-releasing it
next Thursday at noon...

193
00:09:42.360 --> 00:09:43.998
Uh...
And that's it.

194
00:09:45.560 --> 00:09:48.120
<i>Discrimination</i>

195
00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:49.758
<i>It ain't right</i>

196
00:09:50.840 --> 00:09:54.116
<i>I'm not gay But if I was,
I would want equal rights</i>

197
00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:57.829
<i>I'm not gay But if I were,
I would marry who I like</i>

198
00:09:57.920 --> 00:09:59.478
<i>It's not fair
I'm not gay</i>

199
00:09:59.560 --> 00:10:03.235
<i>That the government has a say
In who can love who, not gay</i>

200
00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:05.197
<i>Or to which god you
can pray I'm not gay</i>

201
00:10:05.280 --> 00:10:08.431
<i>It gets me so angry On behalf of them,
I feel passionate</i>

202
00:10:08.520 --> 00:10:10.988
<i>Not gay So I pray for them,
and I say for them</i>

203
00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:12.593
<i>We need to make a change
Not gay</i>

204
00:10:12.680 --> 00:10:15.319
<i>I see it clear as day This area is
not gray, titties</i>

205
00:10:15.400 --> 00:10:17.277
<i>We need equality
And for all to see</i>

206
00:10:17.360 --> 00:10:19.237
<i>That this is the new way
Not gay</i>

207
00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:20.833
<i>Just seems, not gay
Wrong, not gay</i>

208
00:10:20.920 --> 00:10:22.478
<i>That no one seems to care
Sports</i>

209
00:10:22.600 --> 00:10:24.352
<i>We can't continue
to pretend</i>

210
00:10:24.440 --> 00:10:27.079
<i>This not gay madness
has to end Not gay</i>

211
00:10:27.160 --> 00:10:28.957
<i>I was born this way...
Straight...</i>

212
00:10:29.040 --> 00:10:30.712
<i>You were born your way...
Gay...</i>

213
00:10:30.800 --> 00:10:32.518
<i>Gay or straight,
Straight or gay</i>

214
00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:34.318
<i>It's all okay...
Sure...</i>

215
00:10:34.400 --> 00:10:36.072
<i>It's time to make a change...
Yes...</i>

216
00:10:36.160 --> 00:10:37.718
<i>Time to stop the hate...
Uh...</i>

217
00:10:37.760 --> 00:10:40.320
<i>'Cause who you are is beautiful...
Not gay...</i>

218
00:10:40.400 --> 00:10:43.710
<i>Lying in bed next to 10
beautiful girls All straight</i>

219
00:10:43.800 --> 00:10:45.518
<i>And while I made
love to every one of them</i>

220
00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:47.511
<i>I was thinking about
the world Hot wings</i>

221
00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:49.238
<i>True love trumps all
Predator</i>

222
00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:51.231
<i>Flying kicks, not gay
Big watch, not gay</i>

223
00:10:51.320 --> 00:10:53.959
<i>Missionary, one love Gym socks,
nunchuck, not gay</i>

224
00:10:54.040 --> 00:10:55.519
<i>Lighter fluid,
HD, ninja, world peace</i>

225
00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:57.136
<i>Four-wheel drive,
gay marriage, love beave</i>

226
00:10:57.160 --> 00:11:00.038
<i>Free love, golf club, two guys,
not gay, rainbow, muff dive</i>

227
00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:01.678
<i>Harvey Milk,
Sean Penn, not gay</i>

228
00:11:01.760 --> 00:11:03.193
<i>Drum solo, courtside seats,
safe sex</i>

229
00:11:03.280 --> 00:11:05.191
<i>One-armed pushups
Lynyrd Skynyrd</i>

230
00:11:05.280 --> 00:11:06.633
<i>I'm not gay
I'm not gay</i>

231
00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:09.234
<i>I'm not, not, not gay
I'm not gay</i>

232
00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:11.231
<i>I was born this way...
I'm straight...</i>

233
00:11:11.320 --> 00:11:13.117
<i>You were born your way...
You're gay...</i>

234
00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:14.440
<i>Gay or straight,
Straight or gay</i>

235
00:11:14.560 --> 00:11:16.816
<i>It's all okay... And now it time
for sexual freedom for all</i>

236
00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:18.496
<i>Time to make a change...
Sexual freedom for all...</i>

237
00:11:18.520 --> 00:11:19.896
<i>Time to stop the hate...
Sexual freedom for all...</i>

238
00:11:19.920 --> 00:11:21.876
<i>'Cause who you are
is beautiful</i>

239
00:11:21.960 --> 00:11:23.916
<i>Sexual freedom
for all, not gay</i>

240
00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:27.597
He's writing a song
for gay marriage.

241
00:11:27.680 --> 00:11:30.194
You know, like it's not allowed.
It's allowed now.

242
00:11:32.120 --> 00:11:37.353
Usually, I don't like
to read reviews, but I'm just excited.

243
00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:40.876
Like, I can't... I can't wait.
I wanna know how people feel about it,

244
00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:44.794
and I wanna know how much they love it,
so, uh, here we go.

245
00:11:46.160 --> 00:11:47.160
Um...

246
00:11:49.320 --> 00:11:53.632
Well, it's Pitchfork.
It's... They gave it a negative review.

247
00:11:55.600 --> 00:12:01.516
No, like it's a negative four
out of 10. Positive 10, I assume.

248
00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:04.478
<i>Pitchfork</i> can be kind of pretentious,
though, so...

249
00:12:05.160 --> 00:12:06.798
What?

250
00:12:07.720 --> 00:12:09.073
You ain't gonna
knock my hustle.

251
00:12:09.160 --> 00:12:12.789
Let's look at another one.
Let's pull it up. <i>Rolling Stone.</i>

252
00:12:13.480 --> 00:12:18.634
Okay, um...
Out of four possible stars,

253
00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:23.191
<i>Rolling Stone</i> has
given it the shit emoji.

254
00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:27.515
I can only assume
it's a mess-up, you know.

255
00:12:27.640 --> 00:12:30.791
They must have had
a problem with their, um...

256
00:12:32.160 --> 00:12:35.709
No, this seems like the right score
for how they're saying this.

257
00:12:35.800 --> 00:12:38.678
You know what?
Let just do a search.

258
00:12:38.760 --> 00:12:41.320
<i>"CONNquest</i> review."

259
00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:44.394
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.

260
00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:48.994
<i>"CONNquest</i> a triumph."

261
00:12:49.680 --> 00:12:54.549
That's a good one. Let me read it.
This is on <i>The Onion.</i>

262
00:12:55.360 --> 00:12:59.558
So, you know, mixed.
Let's call it mixed reviews.

263
00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:03.757
<i>So first you're in a group.
You introduce us to the Style Boyz,</i>

264
00:13:03.880 --> 00:13:06.136
and <i>Donkey Roll,</i> of course,
we play the hell out of that.

265
00:13:06.160 --> 00:13:08.310
Yeah.
That's a hit for us, man.

266
00:13:08.400 --> 00:13:10.176
And then, Conner,
you get that breakout moment.

267
00:13:10.200 --> 00:13:12.270
You get a phone call
from Claudia Cantrell.

268
00:13:12.360 --> 00:13:13.475
The one and only.

269
00:13:13.560 --> 00:13:15.118
And she asks you
for a verse, man,

270
00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:16.713
on her song
<i>Turn Up the Beef.</i>

271
00:13:16.800 --> 00:13:20.475
<i>Turn up the Beef</i>

272
00:13:20.560 --> 00:13:23.597
<i>Throw your
body on the flame</i>

273
00:13:23.680 --> 00:13:24.908
But you take
that moment,

274
00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:26.638
and instead of just,
like, kicking

275
00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:28.416
a regular verse... You know what
I'm saying?

276
00:13:28.440 --> 00:13:30.112
You did something
a little different.

277
00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:32.016
The "catchphrase" verse,
as it's now known. Yeah.

278
00:13:32.040 --> 00:13:33.359
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
Hello.

279
00:13:33.480 --> 00:13:34.856
I had been working on a catchphrase...
Mmm-hmm.

280
00:13:34.880 --> 00:13:37.792
...but what had happened was I
just thought of so many dope ones

281
00:13:37.920 --> 00:13:41.708
that I was like,
"What if I put them all into the verse?"

282
00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:43.896
<i>Turn up the beef</i>
CONNER: <i>It's Conner, bitch</i>

283
00:13:50.880 --> 00:13:52.677
Yeah, he said so many words
I didn't know.

284
00:13:52.760 --> 00:13:54.239
<i>That was
a game-changing moment.</i>

285
00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:56.276
<i>Usually one
catchphrase in a hit.</i>

286
00:13:56.360 --> 00:13:58.032
He dropped, like,
30 on us in one night.

287
00:13:58.120 --> 00:13:59.155
Shit was crazy.

288
00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:10.468
<i>Conner4Real</i>

289
00:14:10.560 --> 00:14:14.269
Immediately, I said,
"Man, this guy right here, he's gonna make it big!"

290
00:14:14.400 --> 00:14:16.038
Because when you have
a catchphrase,

291
00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.429
the world is catched
by your phrase.

292
00:14:18.520 --> 00:14:20.136
You fast forward.
Things start to happen, man.

293
00:14:20.160 --> 00:14:22.515
You get the Pop Music Award,
and now,

294
00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:24.875
here come those
offers of a solo contract.

295
00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:27.389
Yeah. How'd the other Style Boyz
feel about that?

296
00:14:27.520 --> 00:14:28.960
You know, they took it fine.
Mmm-hmm.

297
00:14:29.080 --> 00:14:32.197
Owen is my DJ and my best friend.
That's good, man.

298
00:14:32.280 --> 00:14:34.840
And Lawrence lives
on a farm now, so...

299
00:14:34.920 --> 00:14:38.071
Hold on. Lawrence Dunn
is a farmer?

300
00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:42.439
My name
is Lawrence Dunn.

301
00:14:42.520 --> 00:14:45.318
I used to be in the Style Boyz.
Now I'm a farmer.

302
00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:46.919
<i>Being out here
in nature,</i>

303
00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:50.356
<i>away from all the people
and the trappings of modern life,</i>

304
00:14:51.240 --> 00:14:53.629
<i>it's so peaceful.
There nothing like it.</i> Ohh!

305
00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:54.914
I've never been happier.

306
00:14:57.120 --> 00:14:59.634
Uh... So, yeah, this is, uh,
all my woodwork.

307
00:14:59.720 --> 00:15:02.234
It's kind of my passion,
uh, my hobby.

308
00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:04.276
This is a nice piece.
It's called

309
00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:07.909
<i>Government in Crisis</i>
for obvious reasons.

310
00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:10.275
This one's a mask.
It's still me.

311
00:15:10.360 --> 00:15:11.759
It's a hat.

312
00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:15.435
<i>You know, we were going places as a band.
We had plans as a band.</i>

313
00:15:15.560 --> 00:15:19.838
<i>Style Boyz, that's three guys, not two.
It doesn't work with two.</i>

314
00:15:19.920 --> 00:15:21.433
You know,
it's like a tricycle.

315
00:15:21.520 --> 00:15:23.520
You take away one of the wheels,
what have you got?

316
00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:26.876
Nothing. A bicycle.
Don't use that.

317
00:15:27.040 --> 00:15:30.430
Look, we had a good run, you know.
We had a few hits.

318
00:15:30.520 --> 00:15:32.750
<i>But it had run its course,
you know.</i>

319
00:15:32.840 --> 00:15:34.990
It was time
for us to all move on.

320
00:15:35.120 --> 00:15:36.439
Get over it.

321
00:15:36.520 --> 00:15:38.511
When the Style Boyz
broke up...

322
00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:40.475
Damn.

323
00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:44.590
The only other time
I remember being that sad

324
00:15:44.680 --> 00:15:48.389
was when they killed Josh
Charles on The Good Wife.

325
00:15:48.520 --> 00:15:53.355
<i>I'm a Style Boy for life</i>

326
00:16:02.680 --> 00:16:04.477
Y'all ready for this?
Yeah.

327
00:16:04.560 --> 00:16:08.030
Okay. Welcome to the future, bitches.

328
00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:09.958
That's Conner's song.

329
00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:11.639
Whoa!

330
00:16:16.400 --> 00:16:17.753
Okay, both sides.
Okay.

331
00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:20.149
- It's fun, right?
- Yeah.

332
00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:22.310
You know, it's my favorite.
I like the freezer one.

333
00:16:22.400 --> 00:16:25.631
Listen to this, homies.
We can upload your entire album

334
00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:27.995
to fridges, washer-dryers,
blenders,

335
00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:29.718
and microwaves
across the country.

336
00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:31.957
You could do that?
Yes, nerd.

337
00:16:32.360 --> 00:16:35.318
It's just Wi-Fi jibber jabber.
It's not a big deal.

338
00:16:35.400 --> 00:16:36.992
Nobody doing appliance shit,
my nigga.

339
00:16:37.080 --> 00:16:39.376
Ain't that right, my nigger?
No one is doing appliance shit.

340
00:16:39.400 --> 00:16:40.800
Okay,
went with the hard "r."

341
00:16:40.880 --> 00:16:42.836
This is that next,
next, next, man.

342
00:16:42.920 --> 00:16:44.956
I told you all,
Deborah's a genius.

343
00:16:45.040 --> 00:16:47.634
It's true, and it is
also pronounced "Deboarrah."

344
00:16:48.040 --> 00:16:50.508
- "Deboarrah." Oh, that's very cool.
- "Deboarrah."

345
00:16:50.600 --> 00:16:51.919
What's the origin
of that?

346
00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:53.991
Uh, I believe Deborah.

347
00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:55.433
That was ridiculous.

348
00:16:55.560 --> 00:16:57.869
Right? Oh, my God, yes,
that was insane.

349
00:16:57.960 --> 00:16:59.880
I mean, who would wanna listen
to music that way?

350
00:16:59.920 --> 00:17:01.876
- Swag.
- I know it's kind of weird,

351
00:17:01.960 --> 00:17:04.474
but Aquaspin's gonna help us
get the music out there, man.

352
00:17:04.560 --> 00:17:06.736
I mean... You don't think people are
gonna have a problem

353
00:17:06.760 --> 00:17:08.557
when music just
appears in their houses?

354
00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:10.120
Look, I know
it sounds lame,

355
00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:12.953
but there's no such thing
as selling out anymore, man.

356
00:17:13.040 --> 00:17:14.837
This is how big
business works.

357
00:17:14.920 --> 00:17:16.797
I mean, nowadays,
if you don't sell out,

358
00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:18.950
people will wonder
if nobody asked you to.

359
00:17:19.040 --> 00:17:20.075
Right.
But look, dude,

360
00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:22.435
if you're not comfortable with it,
we could rethink it.

361
00:17:22.560 --> 00:17:24.073
No, man, it's cool.
It's cool.

362
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:25.640
All right, cool.
Let's get in the car.

363
00:17:25.720 --> 00:17:27.296
This jacket's making
me sweat my ass off.

364
00:17:27.320 --> 00:17:28.992
Yeah, it's fucking hot
as shit out here.

365
00:17:29.080 --> 00:17:30.936
<i>- Welcome to the car, Conner.</i>
- AC.

366
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:32.757
<i>- Did you say Macy's?</i>
- AC.

367
00:17:32.840 --> 00:17:33.955
<i>Did you say Macy's?</i>

368
00:17:34.080 --> 00:17:35.496
<i>- Macy's? Macy's?</i>
- Air conditioning.

369
00:17:35.520 --> 00:17:39.195
Sometimes Conner just gets an idea,
and he runs with it, you know,

370
00:17:39.280 --> 00:17:43.796
<i>and he's right, like,
99.9% of the time,</i>

371
00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:46.474
so you've just got to trust
that he knows what he's doing.

372
00:17:46.560 --> 00:17:49.632
So I understand why he, you know,
did the whole Aquaspin thing.

373
00:17:49.720 --> 00:17:52.917
Touring is expensive today.
Why you think I do the A$ap Crunchables?

374
00:17:58.000 --> 00:17:59.976
This is Gary Sikes.
This is the label photographer.

375
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:02.389
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
All right. There we go. Yeah.

376
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:04.436
All right. Got the two of you.
Great. Okay.

377
00:18:04.560 --> 00:18:05.856
Can I have a little
separation, please?

378
00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:07.074
Oh wait.
Hang on, Gary.

379
00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:08.696
You're not trying to break up the
dream team, are you?

380
00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:09.976
No, no, no.
Just trying to get the logo.

381
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:11.216
May I... May I touch you?
Yeah, yeah.

382
00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:13.136
Just slide down just a little bit.
Schooch you down like that.

383
00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:14.256
A little pressure.
There we go.

384
00:18:14.280 --> 00:18:16.496
I still see your shadow a little bit on him.
If you don't mind...

385
00:18:16.520 --> 00:18:17.816
- Okay...
- You're still in it. You're still in it.

386
00:18:17.840 --> 00:18:19.239
Conner. Nice.
Yeah, same thing.

387
00:18:19.320 --> 00:18:20.435
Nice. Yeah.

388
00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:25.751
Here you go, Paula.
Thank you.

389
00:18:25.840 --> 00:18:27.637
Hey, how's the Pop Music
Award thing coming?

390
00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:29.736
Good. I've called producers.
I'm waiting to hear back.

391
00:18:29.760 --> 00:18:32.433
Please stay on them because you
know how important it is to him.

392
00:18:32.520 --> 00:18:34.431
<i>I'd love to get
Conner to the point where</i>

393
00:18:34.520 --> 00:18:36.431
people forget
that he's a musician.

394
00:18:36.520 --> 00:18:40.115
Where he's just kind of
everywhere like oxygen or gravity

395
00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:43.875
or clinical depression.
He's just everywhere.

396
00:18:44.320 --> 00:18:45.673
Conner!

397
00:18:45.960 --> 00:18:47.712
Hey!

398
00:18:47.800 --> 00:18:48.949
Oh!

399
00:18:54.120 --> 00:18:57.669
Ashley Wednesday,
star of the blockbuster <i>Cube Theorem</i> franchise,

400
00:18:57.760 --> 00:19:00.399
was spotted with
pop rapper Conner4Real,

401
00:19:00.480 --> 00:19:03.552
leaving the exclusive
New York City nightclub... last night.

402
00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:07.713
Okay. Let's go, kids.
Time to go home in your fun car.

403
00:19:07.800 --> 00:19:11.634
Ash and I have been hanging
out for about six months now,

404
00:19:11.720 --> 00:19:14.473
and I've got to say,
she's the total package.

405
00:19:16.200 --> 00:19:19.476
Well, when I was little,
I would spend hours

406
00:19:19.560 --> 00:19:21.471
looking at famous
couples in magazines.

407
00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:25.109
<i>Us Weekly, People,</i>
and everybody's speculating.

408
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:28.670
"Are they a real couple,
or are they just for publicity?"

409
00:19:28.760 --> 00:19:31.320
And I knew that
when I grew up,

410
00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:33.112
I wanted to be one
of those couples.

411
00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:37.357
Five, four, three,

412
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:39.271
two, one!

413
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:52.176
<i>Last night, popstar Conner4Real's</i>

414
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:54.555
<i>new album</i> CONNquest
<i>was released...</i>

415
00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:55.696
<i>...on all
Aquaspin appliances.</i>

416
00:19:55.720 --> 00:19:57.896
<i>Millions of unsuspecting
Americans turned on their toasters...</i>

417
00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:59.319
You can't do
that to people.

418
00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:01.038
Yo, Conner4Real,
you suck, dude!

419
00:20:01.120 --> 00:20:02.439
Whoo!

420
00:20:02.520 --> 00:20:05.318
<i>The President calling
the popstar a real dumb...</i>

421
00:20:05.400 --> 00:20:07.755
<i>The only reason
he put it in appliances</i>

422
00:20:07.840 --> 00:20:10.354
<i>is 'cause no one was gonna
buy his shit album.</i>

423
00:20:14.840 --> 00:20:18.037
He released his record
with a dishwashing company?

424
00:20:18.120 --> 00:20:20.096
They did this big launch,
and it was all wireless or something.

425
00:20:20.120 --> 00:20:22.873
I don't know. But it came out of every
appliance in my house,

426
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:25.599
and I was just like,
"I hate Conner4Real."

427
00:20:25.800 --> 00:20:26.800
For real.

428
00:20:28.800 --> 00:20:31.234
But seriously,
let's be nice to Conner4Real

429
00:20:31.320 --> 00:20:32.639
'cause he seems
like a good guy.

430
00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:35.639
Uh, I don't think so.

431
00:20:35.720 --> 00:20:38.234
Uh, I don't think so.
Uh, I don't think so.

432
00:20:53.160 --> 00:20:54.160
Come on!

433
00:20:56.080 --> 00:20:58.640
Well, the overnight numbers
were not what we were expecting.

434
00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:01.393
They were pretty low.
But it's still early.

435
00:21:02.040 --> 00:21:04.235
Yeah, some people are saying
that the Aquaspin thing

436
00:21:04.320 --> 00:21:05.753
was an invasion
of privacy,

437
00:21:05.840 --> 00:21:07.717
so it's just a little
bump in the road.

438
00:21:09.320 --> 00:21:10.548
Um...

439
00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:12.198
He's dealing with it.

440
00:21:13.360 --> 00:21:15.191
Conner, you okay,
buddy?

441
00:21:20.360 --> 00:21:22.954
Maybe the numbers
were wrong, you know.

442
00:21:23.040 --> 00:21:27.113
Like, Bonkohub had
a computer virus or something.

443
00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:31.116
You know, you could be right.
I'll have Jay look into it.

444
00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:34.556
So what are we talking?
Like, 150, 200, or...

445
00:21:34.800 --> 00:21:37.439
Mmm...
Sixty-five thousand.

446
00:21:37.520 --> 00:21:42.958
Well, that is not where we wanted to be,
but not bad for the day.

447
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:45.991
Actually, Conner,
that's for the week.

448
00:21:46.800 --> 00:21:47.835
Estimated.

449
00:21:49.240 --> 00:21:50.240
Sixty-five?

450
00:21:51.080 --> 00:21:52.433
For the week?

451
00:21:53.400 --> 00:21:55.152
Can... Can you...

452
00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:57.390
Hey, can you guys give
us a second here?

453
00:21:57.480 --> 00:21:58.480
Thank you.

454
00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:54.158
It's the first day
of tour, baby!

455
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:55.355
Whoo!

456
00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:58.955
<i>I know Conner's bumming right now,
but his concert is amazing.</i>

457
00:22:59.040 --> 00:23:01.315
<i>When this thing
goes off and he's out there,</i>

458
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:03.635
<i>I mean, it's just a spectacle.
It's enormous.</i>

459
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:07.516
<i>Yeah, my name is Zippy.
I'm the guitar tech on the tour.</i>

460
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:12.234
Shit. Shit.

461
00:23:12.320 --> 00:23:14.595
<i>I make sure all the
instruments are tip-top.</i>

462
00:23:14.680 --> 00:23:17.136
I love the road. You know,
this is kind of a perfect job for me,

463
00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:20.436
but my favorite free time
thing is flat-lining.

464
00:23:20.520 --> 00:23:21.736
Heart rate dropping.

465
00:23:21.760 --> 00:23:25.912
Flatlining is when you technically
lower your heart rate until, um...

466
00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:27.274
Well, you're dead.

467
00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:29.096
- He's still dropping.
<i>- Then you can catch a glimpse</i>

468
00:23:29.120 --> 00:23:33.432
of the afterlife. Got the idea
from the film <i>Flatliners,</i>

469
00:23:33.520 --> 00:23:36.193
<i>Joel Schumacher film
shot by Jan de Bont.</i>

470
00:23:36.280 --> 00:23:40.193
You know, I try to fit in a
F-line sesh at least once a week.

471
00:23:40.280 --> 00:23:42.919
Two, one.
Hit him. Clear!

472
00:23:43.160 --> 00:23:44.434
Oh, whoa!

473
00:23:44.520 --> 00:23:45.748
Did I shit my pants?

474
00:23:45.840 --> 00:23:46.989
Not this time.

475
00:23:47.080 --> 00:23:48.433
To Conner!

476
00:23:48.520 --> 00:23:49.794
To Conner!

477
00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:55.433
<i>My mom means well.</i>

478
00:23:55.520 --> 00:23:58.159
<i>She had her own dreams of
becoming a star back in the day,</i>

479
00:23:58.240 --> 00:23:59.753
and she gave it up
to have me,

480
00:23:59.840 --> 00:24:01.856
so I really owe her for that,
and I'm lucky to have her support.

481
00:24:01.880 --> 00:24:03.552
You wanna go first?
I'll go first.

482
00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:05.198
Okay, you go first.

483
00:24:05.320 --> 00:24:07.709
Kids first, and then moms.

484
00:24:08.280 --> 00:24:10.350
Oh, my God,
that is so fun!

485
00:24:11.320 --> 00:24:17.475
Hello, my name is Tyrus Quash, and I
do the food service on Conner's tours.

486
00:24:17.640 --> 00:24:20.074
So these are carrots
eight different ways.

487
00:24:20.160 --> 00:24:24.836
You have your triangles, shaved,
obelisks, natural, julienne...

488
00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:26.399
As the French
like to call it...

489
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:28.736
"Julienne." I think that's how they say it.

490
00:24:28.760 --> 00:24:31.228
<i>Conner's very specific
when it comes to food,</i>

491
00:24:31.720 --> 00:24:36.316
<i>and it brings me great joy to see
him love the treats that I prepare.</i>

492
00:24:37.880 --> 00:24:39.632
Yeah! Connor!

493
00:25:00.080 --> 00:25:02.753
<i>Finest girl I
ever met In my whole life</i>

494
00:25:02.840 --> 00:25:05.195
<i>Wanna take her home
Make her my wife</i>

495
00:25:05.280 --> 00:25:07.919
<i>Knew she was a freak
When she started talking</i>

496
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:10.594
<i>She said, "Fuck me
Like we fucked bin Laden"</i>

497
00:25:10.680 --> 00:25:13.990
<i>Whoa
That girl was a freak</i>

498
00:25:14.080 --> 00:25:17.755
<i>She said she wanted me to fuck
her Harder than the military</i>

499
00:25:17.840 --> 00:25:19.353
<i>Fucked bin Laden</i>

500
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:24.234
<i>Fucked bin Laden
Fucked bin Laden</i>

501
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:27.557
<i>She wanted to fuck me
Harder than the US government</i>

502
00:25:27.640 --> 00:25:29.312
<i>Fucked bin Laden</i>

503
00:25:29.400 --> 00:25:30.992
<i>She was a
freaky kind of girl</i>

504
00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:33.992
<i>Kept up on current events
From all around the world</i>

505
00:25:34.080 --> 00:25:35.752
<i>More specifically one event</i>

506
00:25:35.840 --> 00:25:38.035
<i>The time Osama bin Laden
Got shot in the head</i>

507
00:25:38.120 --> 00:25:40.918
<i>She said, "Do me like that"
But I couldn't track the metaphor</i>

508
00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:43.434
<i>That said, I can see you
horny Like a Stegosaur</i>

509
00:25:43.560 --> 00:25:45.710
<i>That said, again,
your request Is so irregular</i>

510
00:25:45.800 --> 00:25:48.553
<i>She put on a beard I started
looking at the exit door</i>

511
00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:50.471
<i>Then a turban,
then a tunic</i>

512
00:25:50.560 --> 00:25:52.869
<i>She said, "Invade my cave
With your special unit"</i>

513
00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:55.349
<i>I said, "He wasn't in a cave"
But there was no stopping</i>

514
00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:56.840
<i>She demanded
that I fuck her like we</i>

515
00:25:56.880 --> 00:25:58.199
<i>Fucked bin Laden</i>

516
00:25:59.160 --> 00:26:02.948
<i>Fucked bin Laden
Fucked bin Laden</i>

517
00:26:03.080 --> 00:26:06.516
<i>She wanted to fuck me
Harder than the US government</i>

518
00:26:06.600 --> 00:26:07.999
<i>Fucked bin Laden</i>

519
00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:12.268
<i>This girl requested intercourse
To bring her to climax</i>

520
00:26:12.360 --> 00:26:15.989
<i>With the clinical efficiency
Of the assassination</i>

521
00:26:16.080 --> 00:26:17.752
<i>Of bin Laden</i>

522
00:26:17.840 --> 00:26:20.195
<i>You're harboring a fugitive
That ass</i>

523
00:26:20.280 --> 00:26:22.589
<i>And my justice will be
punitive Imma smash</i>

524
00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:24.557
<i>Night vision They can
see us through my GoPro</i>

525
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:26.949
<i>She tried to negotiate
I said that's a no-no</i>

526
00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:29.315
<i>Now I'm creeping in her
bedroom like, "Go, go"</i>

527
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:30.793
<i>She tells me to go low</i>

528
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:32.016
<i>Then looks down
and says I've got to</i>

529
00:26:32.040 --> 00:26:36.397
<i>Terrorize that pussy
Got to terrorize that pussy</i>

530
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:38.835
<i>So I did it
Improvised some crazy shit...</i>

531
00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:40.355
It's fucking awful.

532
00:26:40.440 --> 00:26:43.955
Conner's music may not be what
I listen to in my free time,

533
00:26:44.080 --> 00:26:46.753
but it seems to make
so many people money.

534
00:26:47.320 --> 00:26:52.519
<i>Mona Lisa You're
an overrated piece of shit</i>

535
00:26:52.680 --> 00:26:56.275
<i>Can someone explain
Why the whole wide world</i>

536
00:26:56.360 --> 00:26:58.749
<i>Is obsessed with
a Garbage Pail Kid</i>

537
00:26:58.840 --> 00:27:01.400
<i>Looks like
a Garbage Pail Kid</i>

538
00:27:01.480 --> 00:27:04.278
<i>Y'all have been so amazing.
Thank you so much.</i>

539
00:27:04.360 --> 00:27:08.797
<i>What a beautiful night.
Everybody in the front, make some noise.</i>

540
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.992
<i>Now everybody on the sides,
make some noise.</i>

541
00:27:15.040 --> 00:27:19.033
<i>Now everybody way up in the
upper deck, make some noise.</i>

542
00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:23.789
Conner,
I love you! I love you!

543
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:26.959
<i>Harry, what the hell?</i>

544
00:27:27.080 --> 00:27:30.356
First of all, this is an
18,000-seat arena.

545
00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:34.479
Nobody sells this out. You sold 15,000
seats. That's still really good.

546
00:27:34.560 --> 00:27:37.757
No, it's not good.
Hammerleg sold this place out last week.

547
00:27:38.360 --> 00:27:39.918
Well, Aquaspin
agrees with you.

548
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:41.440
They're concerned
about ticket sales.

549
00:27:41.520 --> 00:27:44.671
What? But it's an 18,000 seat place.
Nobody sells that out.

550
00:27:44.760 --> 00:27:46.478
Hammerleg did last week.

551
00:27:46.920 --> 00:27:49.912
Look, the low record sales
are making them nervous.

552
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:51.433
They wanna bring
on an opening act.

553
00:27:51.760 --> 00:27:54.115
What? We have an opening act.
Owen DJs.

554
00:27:54.200 --> 00:27:56.350
Hey, I'm always saying
Style Boyz could be the opener.

555
00:27:56.440 --> 00:27:58.158
No, man.
Will you stop with that?

556
00:27:58.280 --> 00:28:01.272
Dude, people keep blowing up my
Twitter about us doing <i>Donkey Roll.</i>

557
00:28:01.400 --> 00:28:03.016
- Oh, they're blowing up your Twitter?
- Yeah.

558
00:28:03.040 --> 00:28:04.416
How many followers
do you have, Owen?

559
00:28:04.440 --> 00:28:05.509
Like 500,000.

560
00:28:05.600 --> 00:28:09.149
Okay, well, I got 20 million, and no
one's asking me to do that shit, so...

561
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:12.176
Some of those
are probably bots.

562
00:28:12.200 --> 00:28:14.077
Okay, look, guys,
regardless,

563
00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:16.435
we still have to decide
on an opening act.

564
00:28:16.520 --> 00:28:20.672
Man! All right, fine.
Does anybody have ideas?

565
00:28:20.800 --> 00:28:22.950
One, but you are
gonna like it.

566
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:25.436
Wait. Did you say
"are" or "aren't"?

567
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:27.160
Are.

568
00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:33.109
<i>Yeah! You know I'm a
motherfucking piece of shit.</i>

569
00:28:33.640 --> 00:28:35.278
<i>Say,
"Fuck you, Hunter!"</i>

570
00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:36.958
<i>Fuck you, Hunter!</i>

571
00:28:37.040 --> 00:28:38.393
<i>Say, "Fuck you, Hunter!"</i>

572
00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:39.674
<i>Fuck you, Hunter!</i>

573
00:28:39.760 --> 00:28:40.760
Let's go.

574
00:28:40.800 --> 00:28:43.872
<i>Stomping through the forest
Like a retarded Tyrannosaurus</i>

575
00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:46.713
<i>Hunter eating beefcakes
In the back of a Ford Taurus</i>

576
00:28:46.800 --> 00:28:48.358
<i>Fuck the chorus
Fuck my moms</i>

577
00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:50.112
<i>Fuck your dad
Fuck this song</i>

578
00:28:55.800 --> 00:28:59.315
Hunter the Hungry is one of those
rappers who just doesn't give a fuck.

579
00:28:59.480 --> 00:29:00.960
<i>People think
that he ain't crazy.</i>

580
00:29:01.040 --> 00:29:03.554
No, he crazy for real.
I seen him backstage.

581
00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:05.296
He wasn't smoking the blunt.
He was just eating it.

582
00:29:05.320 --> 00:29:08.630
I mean Hunter's the youth, you know.
He's... He's what's next.

583
00:29:10.320 --> 00:29:11.673
<i>I'm talking our crew!</i>

584
00:29:14.040 --> 00:29:15.040
Oh!

585
00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:18.677
Conner4Real in the flesh?
Hey, yo!

586
00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:20.831
It's... It's an honor
to meet you, man.

587
00:29:20.920 --> 00:29:23.957
<i>CONNquest,</i> Style Boyz,
I grew up off that shit, man.

588
00:29:24.080 --> 00:29:26.275
Thanks. I wanna be you,
kind of, but not white.

589
00:29:26.360 --> 00:29:27.952
Like black still,
'cause it's strong.

590
00:29:28.040 --> 00:29:29.519
It's a strong color.
For sure, yeah.

591
00:29:29.640 --> 00:29:32.234
Like, you are that dude.
Like, have you met you?

592
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:35.711
Have you met you?
You? Have you met you?

593
00:29:35.840 --> 00:29:37.376
Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?
This is crazy.

594
00:29:37.400 --> 00:29:39.120
You be you.
You don't want me to be all that

595
00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:40.553
'cause I'll tear
some shit up.

596
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:42.336
- You know how it is?
- That is great...

597
00:29:45.600 --> 00:29:48.034
Hell, yeah! We gonna
turn up a show up here!

598
00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:49.120
Oh, don't hurt me.

599
00:29:51.880 --> 00:29:53.871
- You know how it is!
- Okay.

600
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:56.708
But seriously, man.
I'm real honored, dawg.

601
00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:58.598
I'm not gonna let you down.
You my idol,

602
00:29:58.720 --> 00:30:01.837
right next to Jesus and Morgan Freeman.

603
00:30:02.360 --> 00:30:03.759
- All right, sure.
- Yeah.

604
00:30:04.120 --> 00:30:05.599
<i>Yeah, bitch! What up?</i>

605
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.033
I like him.

606
00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:10.470
Where'd you get the cayenne?
Get off my basil.

607
00:30:10.560 --> 00:30:12.056
No, dawg. That's my basil, too.
Get off my basil, dude.

608
00:30:12.080 --> 00:30:13.115
That's my basil.

609
00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:14.616
- That's my basil, too.
- Come on, dude.

610
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:17.096
And chives, son! And chives! Watch
me kill this deer real quick.

611
00:30:17.120 --> 00:30:18.394
Oh.

612
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:20.560
- What? You can do that?
- That's deer meat, son.

613
00:30:20.800 --> 00:30:22.800
- That's deer meat, bitch.
- Whoa, dude.

614
00:30:22.840 --> 00:30:24.512
What is this crazy shit?

615
00:30:24.600 --> 00:30:26.318
Oh, dude!
That's your new head.

616
00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:28.755
What?

617
00:30:29.120 --> 00:30:31.076
I had it specially
made for you, man.

618
00:30:31.160 --> 00:30:33.016
I took the measurements
while you were sleeping.

619
00:30:33.040 --> 00:30:36.396
It's like on some
futuristic EDM shit.

620
00:30:36.600 --> 00:30:39.637
We did the research,
and EDM is hot.

621
00:30:39.720 --> 00:30:41.551
Robots on ecstasy
and shit.

622
00:30:41.840 --> 00:30:45.435
Daft Punk, deadmau5,
DJ Tommy Pizza.

623
00:30:45.760 --> 00:30:49.753
Oprah Spinfrey,
Vinyl Ritchie, R2-LSD2,

624
00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:55.392
Ecstasy-3PO, LSD-3PO, Elton John.
All those dudes are crushing.

625
00:30:55.520 --> 00:30:56.696
- Look at all these functions.
- Yeah.

626
00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:58.438
It's like a Lite-Brite,
but it's moving.

627
00:30:58.800 --> 00:31:00.279
Oh, and check this out.

628
00:31:00.840 --> 00:31:02.956
Oh, wow! It goes all
the way up there.

629
00:31:03.040 --> 00:31:05.270
All the way, man.
It's like a beacon to space.

630
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:09.918
And, plus,
it makes this sound.

631
00:31:12.440 --> 00:31:13.759
Wow!

632
00:31:13.840 --> 00:31:15.114
Why would it
make that sound?

633
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:16.349
I don't even know,

634
00:31:16.440 --> 00:31:19.159
but it's nice to know that it's
there if you need it, you know.

635
00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:21.276
Yeah.
Yo, helmet's dope.

636
00:31:21.600 --> 00:31:23.556
Looks like the tip
of Optimus Prime's dick.

637
00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:26.313
See? Don't you wanna
look like Optimus Prime?

638
00:31:26.840 --> 00:31:27.955
His dick?
Fuck, yeah!

639
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:31.072
Fuck, yeah! Yeah, man...
I don't know.

640
00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:35.637
Owen, please? Please, please
wear the helmet, Owen.

641
00:31:35.720 --> 00:31:38.473
Come on, man. The show really needs it.
Please, man.

642
00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:41.314
I mean, if it'll help the tour.
Yes.

643
00:31:41.560 --> 00:31:43.676
Yeah. Dude, we're killing this!

644
00:31:46.200 --> 00:31:48.430
<i>Well, howdy, ma'am
We're the two banditos...</i>

645
00:31:48.520 --> 00:31:50.840
<i>Having Hunter aboard
has really energized the tour.</i>

646
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:51.955
Tickets are selling.

647
00:31:54.120 --> 00:31:55.599
<i>Hunter is the shit.</i>

648
00:31:55.840 --> 00:31:59.037
Aw! I love you, too, man.

649
00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:00.553
Dude!
Get off me, dude!

650
00:32:03.480 --> 00:32:05.596
<i>Yeah, you know
we're two banditos</i>

651
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:10.310
<i>Yeah, you know
we're two banditos</i>

652
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:12.436
<i>Do a little dance
and drink a little water</i>

653
00:32:12.520 --> 00:32:16.399
Putting that helmet on Owen's head,
that was a brilliant gimmick.

654
00:32:16.480 --> 00:32:18.038
I wish I'd done that
with Zayn.

655
00:32:18.120 --> 00:32:20.315
We could've kept him
in One Direction for years.

656
00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:22.152
Prank time!

657
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:24.231
Pranks is where it's at.
You know what I'm saying?

658
00:32:24.320 --> 00:32:26.311
Like, you've got
to have fun on tour, yo.

659
00:32:29.560 --> 00:32:30.788
Rise and shine, dude.

660
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:32.376
<i>You know he's got
that sense of humor</i>

661
00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:35.676
where it's like,
"Stop now, please." "Please stop."

662
00:32:35.760 --> 00:32:37.576
But he keeps on going.
"Please stop doing this."

663
00:32:37.600 --> 00:32:39.875
<i>Eat a lot of burritos While
we're fucking bald eagles</i>

664
00:32:39.960 --> 00:32:41.791
<i>Let's go back to the
chorus, dude Okay</i>

665
00:32:41.880 --> 00:32:43.598
<i>We're two cute
little kittens</i>

666
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:45.671
<i>Yeah, we're two cute
little kittens</i>

667
00:32:45.760 --> 00:32:48.911
<i>Yeah, we're two cute little
kittens Shut the fuck up</i>

668
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:51.798
Con ner, did you take a shit
in the Anne Frank House?

669
00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:54.633
Do not go in there.

670
00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:56.790
Whoo!

671
00:32:56.880 --> 00:32:58.199
<i>Ace Ventura.</i>

672
00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:00.576
<i>I fucked your first
cousin with the didgeridoo</i>

673
00:33:00.600 --> 00:33:02.400
<i>And when she came
You know, it sounded like...</i>

674
00:33:06.440 --> 00:33:08.749
<i>This is my new
best friend right here!</i>

675
00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:10.479
<i>This my nigga!</i>

676
00:33:10.680 --> 00:33:12.238
<i>Yeah, he's my friend!</i>

677
00:33:15.760 --> 00:33:17.318
All right,
listen up, everybody.

678
00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:20.437
First of all, I wanna say congratulations
on a great show tonight.

679
00:33:20.840 --> 00:33:23.832
- Yeah.
- For the last eight shows,

680
00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:25.911
we have been sold out!

681
00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:31.001
It's like I was... I feel like
it's finally just clicking.

682
00:33:31.040 --> 00:33:33.349
Yeah.
Hey, we are on a roll, baby.

683
00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:34.953
Yeah.
Yeah.

684
00:33:35.040 --> 00:33:37.076
Is it helping album sales?
It's got to be, right?

685
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:38.633
You know how it is,
you know.

686
00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:41.314
Sometimes, it takes a while for
the marketplace to catch up.

687
00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:43.830
Don't worry.
Definitely helping Hunter.

688
00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:45.751
This dude's album
just went gold.

689
00:33:46.440 --> 00:33:48.271
Gold?
For real.

690
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:50.392
How's that even...
That's a mistake, right?

691
00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:52.677
Our shit
hasn't even gone gold.

692
00:33:52.800 --> 00:33:54.995
Look, he's just having
a moment. That's all.

693
00:33:55.080 --> 00:33:56.416
Well, how come
I'm not having a moment?

694
00:33:56.440 --> 00:33:57.953
You've had
tons of moments.

695
00:33:58.040 --> 00:33:59.951
Don't worry.
There's plenty to go around.

696
00:34:00.040 --> 00:34:02.270
<i>Yo! Shout out to T.I.
in the house.</i>

697
00:34:02.360 --> 00:34:04.590
<i>What's up, soldier?
What's up, Ka-el? Okay.</i>

698
00:34:06.760 --> 00:34:09.957
<i>Y'all, my man Hunter the
Hungry is in the house.</i>

699
00:34:10.040 --> 00:34:12.156
<i>Y'all make some noise!</i>

700
00:34:14.200 --> 00:34:15.394
<i>What's up, Ka-el?</i>

701
00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:17.960
<i>Yo! Y'all wanna hear the hottest
song on the streets right now?</i>

702
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:19.035
Yeah!

703
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:32.231
<i>Stomping through the
forest Like a retarded Tyrannosaurus</i>

704
00:34:32.320 --> 00:34:35.118
<i>Hunter eating beefcakes In
the back of a Ford Taurus...</i>

705
00:34:35.200 --> 00:34:37.976
Look, man, Conner got all the way to
the top of this business, you know,

706
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:42.278
and the higher you get, the harder
you fall. I mean, ask any coconut.

707
00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:45.670
Thing is, is that Conner's never
been as good as with the Style Boyz.

708
00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:47.592
Whatever him and Lawrence
were beefing over,

709
00:34:47.680 --> 00:34:49.360
they need to figure out
a way to squash it.

710
00:34:50.320 --> 00:34:54.472
Ever since Style Boyz broke up,
Lawrence has been mad at me.

711
00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:58.072
He claims he wrote my
famous catchphrase verse.

712
00:34:58.560 --> 00:35:01.597
<i>Translation,
he's a jealous-ass hater</i>

713
00:35:01.680 --> 00:35:05.389
<i>who's mad that I blew up, and he's
a farmer out in bumfuck nowhere,</i>

714
00:35:06.040 --> 00:35:08.349
but, you know,
we all have our take.

715
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:11.356
Uh, this one here,
this is my Poppy.

716
00:35:11.600 --> 00:35:12.600
Uh...

717
00:35:12.680 --> 00:35:15.592
It's what I got for writing
Conner's famous catchphrase verse.

718
00:35:16.120 --> 00:35:18.759
If you look close,
you'll notice that it's not real

719
00:35:18.840 --> 00:35:22.196
because I didn't get a Poppy
or credit of any kind.

720
00:35:22.640 --> 00:35:26.110
<i>But there is one person that
I absolutely have to thank,</i>

721
00:35:26.200 --> 00:35:28.236
<i>and that person is me.</i>

722
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:32.836
<i>Me, myself, and I! I did it all by myself.
Nobody helped me.</i>

723
00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:37.956
So, yeah,
that's my Poppy.

724
00:35:38.240 --> 00:35:39.376
<i>I mean,
if he's so great,</i>

725
00:35:39.400 --> 00:35:41.120
<i>how come he's not
making anything, you know?</i>

726
00:35:41.200 --> 00:35:43.873
Nothing's stopping him from going
out and writing a bunch of hits.

727
00:35:44.120 --> 00:35:46.839
<i>After the Style Boyz,
I tried some solo projects,</i>

728
00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:48.353
but none of them
really took off.

729
00:35:48.560 --> 00:35:51.711
<i>Old boots,
paper towels Shop girl, unknown fellow</i>

730
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:55.156
<i>Deodorant, house keys
Sweatshirt, and umbrella</i>

731
00:35:55.240 --> 00:35:57.595
<i>A golf club,
basketball, bug spray</i>

732
00:35:57.680 --> 00:36:00.240
<i>A laundry heap,
a pocket knife, a battery</i>

733
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:02.595
<i>These are the things
in my Jeep</i>

734
00:36:03.640 --> 00:36:05.471
<i>These are the things
in my Jeep</i>

735
00:36:05.600 --> 00:36:07.216
<i>I didn't really
relate to that song</i>

736
00:36:07.240 --> 00:36:08.958
because, you know,
I had different things

737
00:36:09.040 --> 00:36:10.837
in my Jeep than
he had in his Jeep.

738
00:36:11.640 --> 00:36:14.791
<i>I don't think Conner's living
real life. I think he's in a bubble</i>

739
00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:18.475
with people telling him what he wants
to hear and kissing his ass all day.

740
00:36:18.760 --> 00:36:21.274
<i>I heard he's getting
into stage gimmicks now.</i>

741
00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:23.351
<i>He's got Owen in
a helmet looking dumb,</i>

742
00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:25.396
<i>and one where
he sings from a toilet.</i>

743
00:36:25.600 --> 00:36:27.400
<i>Someone should've told him
that shit is whack,</i>

744
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:30.591
<i>but he's so afraid of failure, man.
He's just getting desperate.</i>

745
00:36:31.640 --> 00:36:33.278
Let's try it again.

746
00:36:33.800 --> 00:36:34.800
Oh!

747
00:36:35.200 --> 00:36:36.200
Oh, it snagged.

748
00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:39.556
What's up, my confidants?
Be sure to come through to my show tonight.

749
00:36:39.640 --> 00:36:41.756
I'm trying a brand new
magic trick.

750
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:43.512
<i>You know they said
it couldn't be done.</i>

751
00:36:43.600 --> 00:36:45.296
<i>That the trick that
was designed for a woman,</i>

752
00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:46.958
<i>and my junk would
get all tangled,</i>

753
00:36:47.040 --> 00:36:48.632
<i>but I figured out
how to solve it.</i>

754
00:36:48.760 --> 00:36:50.159
I think if I just
tuck it all back.

755
00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:51.838
See you tonight.

756
00:36:52.280 --> 00:36:53.315
Let's go.

757
00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:54.953
<i>Hey!</i>

758
00:36:55.680 --> 00:36:57.079
<i>What is this, y'all?</i>

759
00:36:57.160 --> 00:36:59.674
<i>I said upscale.
You took me to outer space.</i>

760
00:37:02.160 --> 00:37:03.960
<i>What do you say we take
it back down to Earth?</i>

761
00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:05.800
<i>Whoo!</i>

762
00:37:09.200 --> 00:37:10.269
<i>What?</i>

763
00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:13.552
<i>This almost looks like something
that a cowboy might wear.</i>

764
00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:15.637
<i>Are y'all looking
at my chaps?</i>

765
00:37:17.160 --> 00:37:20.311
<i>But enough horsing around.
Let's take this uptown.</i>

766
00:37:20.640 --> 00:37:25.395
<i>How about a good old fashioned tuxedo?
There is no substitute.</i>

767
00:37:26.840 --> 00:37:28.114
<i>Top of the world!</i>

768
00:37:30.760 --> 00:37:31.829
<i>Oh, shit.</i>

769
00:37:32.160 --> 00:37:37.188
<i>No, no. It's tucked. I shaved for
the trick. Don't post those pics.</i>

770
00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:38.616
<i>As they approach
the end of the dark forest...</i>

771
00:37:38.640 --> 00:37:41.029
<i>It's an illusion. It's tucked.
I tuck it back.</i>

772
00:37:41.160 --> 00:37:42.354
<i>Conner, just hold on.</i>

773
00:37:42.760 --> 00:37:45.176
<i>- Don't post those.
- It's a tuck and take.</i>

774
00:37:45.200 --> 00:37:46.997
<i>I don't know what
to do right now.</i>

775
00:37:47.080 --> 00:37:49.469
<i>I wanna show you all my dick
but I can't show you my dick.</i>

776
00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:53.548
<i>It's a great conundrum.
It's a great conundrum.</i>

777
00:37:53.680 --> 00:37:55.955
Holy shit, dude.
Where the fuck was your dick, dawg?

778
00:37:56.080 --> 00:37:58.753
What happened out there?
What happened to the trick?

779
00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:00.871
Conner, don't worry.
Nobody saw anything.

780
00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:02.791
I wish they had
seen something.

781
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:04.936
Now, there's 10,000 people
that think I got no dick.

782
00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:09.039
- Wait. You guys know I have a dick, right?
- Yes.

783
00:38:09.160 --> 00:38:10.856
- You do. You do.
- Yeah, it's just that...

784
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:12.456
I've always
believed you had a dick.

785
00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:15.153
Right, right, right.
But like where was it, though?

786
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:17.117
Because that
motherfucker was gone.

787
00:38:17.200 --> 00:38:18.269
We've gone over this.

788
00:38:18.400 --> 00:38:19.913
You know I've got
to tuck my shit back

789
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:22.036
so it doesn't get tangled
up in the garments.

790
00:38:22.120 --> 00:38:23.997
That makes perfect sense.
Of course.

791
00:38:24.080 --> 00:38:25.256
You've got to put it
in between your legs.

792
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:27.696
Conner, don't worry about it.
You were up there for, like, 10 seconds.

793
00:38:27.720 --> 00:38:29.551
Ten seconds is
an eternity, Harry.

794
00:38:29.640 --> 00:38:31.232
It's a third of
the way to Mars.

795
00:38:31.560 --> 00:38:32.993
Conner, we've
talked about this.

796
00:38:33.120 --> 00:38:36.157
Thirty Seconds to Mars is the
name of a band. It's not a fact.

797
00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:39.392
Look, thank you, dawg,
because this shit was hilarious, man.

798
00:38:39.480 --> 00:38:42.631
Well, I'm so glad that I
could entertain you, Hunter.

799
00:38:42.720 --> 00:38:44.896
You wouldn't happen to know
anything about this, would you?

800
00:38:44.920 --> 00:38:46.399
Oh! I wish.

801
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:49.995
This is like genius prank
shit right here. Next level.

802
00:38:50.080 --> 00:38:53.117
You would have to be the
best prankster of all time

803
00:38:53.200 --> 00:38:54.872
to think of
something like this,

804
00:38:55.240 --> 00:38:59.028
and, well, shit, that's me.
Maybe I did do it.

805
00:39:00.720 --> 00:39:02.438
No, I didn't do it,

806
00:39:02.520 --> 00:39:03.919
or did I?

807
00:39:04.240 --> 00:39:05.468
No, I didn't,

808
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:07.558
or maybe I did

809
00:39:07.640 --> 00:39:08.709
not

810
00:39:09.080 --> 00:39:10.354
do it.
Did you?

811
00:39:10.440 --> 00:39:14.115
I didn't do it, or I did.
Who knows? I don't.

812
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:17.153
Conner, don't worry. Don't worry.
This is not news.

813
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:22.514
- What the fuck?
- Son...

814
00:39:22.600 --> 00:39:24.272
The timing of that
was crazy.

815
00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:29.796
They should call
him NoDick4Real.

816
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:42.440
Whoa!

817
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:48.639
It was tucked, Linda.
It's part of the show.

818
00:39:48.760 --> 00:39:51.797
- No. No, don't print that.
- Everywhere I look. It's insane.

819
00:39:51.880 --> 00:39:53.871
Now it's on the front
page of <i>USA Today,</i>

820
00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:55.951
the most respected
newspaper in the world.

821
00:39:56.080 --> 00:39:58.913
Sweetie, relax. All we
need is a different story

822
00:39:59.040 --> 00:40:00.720
to wipe it out of the press cycle.
Mmm-hmm.

823
00:40:00.760 --> 00:40:02.910
Okay, so what?
What do we do?

824
00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:04.911
Anything.
Release a new single.

825
00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:08.993
Get a crazy haircut, or, uh, take
an ugly teenager to the prom.

826
00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:11.311
All good ideas.
Let's keep thinking about it,

827
00:40:11.560 --> 00:40:13.280
and I'm gonna go tweet
a picture of my dick.

828
00:40:13.320 --> 00:40:14.992
Okay, don't
really do that.

829
00:40:22.840 --> 00:40:26.515
<i>Man, I just think it's gonna
really change people's perception of me</i>

830
00:40:26.600 --> 00:40:28.352
<i>in a good, positive way,</i>

831
00:40:28.440 --> 00:40:31.318
and also I'm really glad about the
fact that we'll get married, too,

832
00:40:31.400 --> 00:40:32.628
'cause I like her so much.

833
00:40:33.040 --> 00:40:35.080
- Conner, what's going on?
- You'll see.

834
00:40:35.680 --> 00:40:37.560
- Oh, my God! Is that music?
- Yeah.

835
00:40:38.120 --> 00:40:39.473
Almost there and...

836
00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:41.440
Uh-huh.

837
00:40:41.680 --> 00:40:43.113
You ready?
Mmm-hmm.

838
00:40:47.200 --> 00:40:48.952
Are those
real wolves?

839
00:40:49.040 --> 00:40:50.837
Yeah.
Conner.

840
00:40:51.400 --> 00:40:54.710
<i>My psychic told me
that, in my previous life, I was a wolf,</i>

841
00:40:55.040 --> 00:40:57.110
which makes
so much sense,

842
00:40:57.520 --> 00:41:00.080
<i>but I can't believe
that Conner remembered.</i>

843
00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:03.712
And you invited the press.
Yeah.

844
00:41:03.920 --> 00:41:08.710
<i>I landed in
London At a quarter to noon</i>

845
00:41:09.200 --> 00:41:12.158
Oh, my God, is that Seal?
Yeah.

846
00:41:12.280 --> 00:41:14.236
What is this?
What's going on?

847
00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:20.715
<i>I know she's exquisite
So I had to visit</i>

848
00:41:21.080 --> 00:41:23.355
<i>Pushed my back to
the front of the door</i>

849
00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:25.476
Ever since I met you,

850
00:41:25.560 --> 00:41:28.552
I knew in my heart that
you were super banging.

851
00:41:28.720 --> 00:41:30.597
<i>Ashley Wednesday</i>

852
00:41:31.160 --> 00:41:33.993
Hey, dude, you've got to kill this music.
The wolves are going crazy.

853
00:41:35.400 --> 00:41:36.913
I can't stop Seal
from singing.

854
00:41:37.080 --> 00:41:39.196
<i>With impeccable style</i>

855
00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:42.436
All right, can we get the
wolves to be more quiet?

856
00:41:43.360 --> 00:41:44.360
No.

857
00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:47.955
Ashley Wednesday,

858
00:41:50.200 --> 00:41:51.315
will you marry me?

859
00:41:51.400 --> 00:41:54.278
<i>Please freaking
say yes, girl</i>

860
00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:56.311
Yes. Yes.

861
00:41:56.440 --> 00:41:58.056
The wolves are loose!

862
00:41:58.080 --> 00:41:59.256
- Look out!
- Shit!

863
00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:00.315
Shit. Okay.

864
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:01.549
Oh, God!

865
00:42:01.640 --> 00:42:03.198
Move! Run now!

866
00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:14.456
<i>Jesus Christ,
we got wild animals everywhere...</i>

867
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:15.708
My God!

868
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:17.279
Get on!

869
00:42:17.360 --> 00:42:18.634
Seal, come on!
Hurry!

870
00:42:19.200 --> 00:42:21.350
Are you okay?
I'm fine. For a second...

871
00:42:23.120 --> 00:42:24.189
Seal!

872
00:42:24.280 --> 00:42:25.280
Seal! Shit!

873
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:26.634
Oh!

874
00:42:28.280 --> 00:42:30.236
Oh, my God,
you got him, dude!

875
00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:32.715
Don't worry.
I've been in this situation before.

876
00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:34.160
How do you think
I got these scars?

877
00:42:34.200 --> 00:42:35.235
From wolves?

878
00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:37.436
Fucking wolves.
Now let's get out of here.

879
00:42:39.400 --> 00:42:40.469
What the fuck?

880
00:42:40.560 --> 00:42:42.835
Go! Go!
Go!

881
00:42:42.920 --> 00:42:44.876
We killed Seal. He's dead!

882
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:46.837
He's dead!
Seal is dead!

883
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:50.555
<i>Conner4Real is being sued
by R&B singer Seal for $5 million.</i>

884
00:42:50.640 --> 00:42:51.760
Why would he
do that to Seal?

885
00:42:51.880 --> 00:42:53.518
Conner4Real is
such a joke.

886
00:42:53.600 --> 00:42:54.936
He disappointed all of us.
I mean like...

887
00:42:54.960 --> 00:42:55.960
Did you see
that proposal?

888
00:42:56.040 --> 00:42:57.616
Like, I don't even think
they like each other.

889
00:42:57.640 --> 00:42:59.016
'Cause Conner definitely
ain't the real deal.

890
00:42:59.040 --> 00:43:00.359
He doesn't even
have a dick.

891
00:43:00.440 --> 00:43:03.796
I used to like Conner4Real,
but now I wish he would just go away.

892
00:43:04.200 --> 00:43:07.237
<i>My first guest,
Conner4Real!</i>

893
00:43:08.520 --> 00:43:10.909
I just wanna thank Seal again
and wish him a fast recovery.

894
00:43:11.000 --> 00:43:12.149
He's gonna be fine.

895
00:43:12.240 --> 00:43:13.434
That's great news.

896
00:43:13.520 --> 00:43:16.193
That's great news, and congrats
again to you and Ashley.

897
00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:17.656
Thank you. Thank you, and,
you know, don't forget,

898
00:43:17.680 --> 00:43:20.035
<i>CONNquest</i>
in stores now. Cop that.

899
00:43:20.120 --> 00:43:22.680
Yeah, absolutely.

900
00:43:22.760 --> 00:43:25.149
Can I just fanboy
out for a second?

901
00:43:25.240 --> 00:43:27.151
Uh, because my favorite
thing of yours

902
00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:29.748
from back in the day,
the Donkey Roll. Oh!

903
00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:31.831
You got a minute?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

904
00:43:31.960 --> 00:43:33.279
For the kids out there,

905
00:43:33.360 --> 00:43:35.954
the Donkey Roll is
from Conner's old group,

906
00:43:36.040 --> 00:43:38.270
the Style Boyz,
when I was...

907
00:43:39.640 --> 00:43:40.776
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.

908
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:42.950
I don't wanna brag but
I used to do a mean

909
00:43:43.040 --> 00:43:44.439
Donkey Roll
back in college.

910
00:43:44.520 --> 00:43:46.476
I'm just saying.
Oh, for real?

911
00:43:46.600 --> 00:43:49.637
Some said I did it
better than yours.

912
00:43:51.960 --> 00:43:53.056
Come on, now.
No...

913
00:43:53.080 --> 00:43:55.071
Don't do that,
Jimmy Fallon.

914
00:43:55.160 --> 00:43:57.754
I think I saw Kid
Contact backstage.

915
00:43:57.840 --> 00:43:59.800
Do you think that we could
get him out here and...

916
00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:02.679
I doubt he'd be into that.

917
00:44:05.560 --> 00:44:07.198
Y'all set me up?

918
00:44:08.080 --> 00:44:09.080
Oh!

919
00:44:11.400 --> 00:44:14.995
Okay, I'll be filling in for Kid Brain!
Roots, Donkey-Roll us!

920
00:44:21.200 --> 00:44:22.758
I love the Donkey Roll.

921
00:44:22.840 --> 00:44:26.196
The Donkey Roll was the shit.
That's the reason why I dance.

922
00:44:26.280 --> 00:44:29.556
Every junior high dance had
to end with the Donkey Roll.

923
00:44:29.640 --> 00:44:32.234
I dreamed of doing the Donkey
Roll onstage with them.

924
00:44:35.400 --> 00:44:36.400
Yo, that was impressive!

925
00:44:36.480 --> 00:44:37.515
It's all right.

926
00:44:37.600 --> 00:44:38.600
Thanks, everybody.

927
00:44:40.360 --> 00:44:42.749
Yo, dude, how fun
was that shit?

928
00:44:42.920 --> 00:44:44.319
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

929
00:44:44.400 --> 00:44:45.760
I wish Lawrence
could've been here.

930
00:44:46.240 --> 00:44:47.639
Owen, that sucked.

931
00:44:47.720 --> 00:44:50.280
I'm trying to sell a record,
not stroll down memory lane.

932
00:44:50.360 --> 00:44:51.880
That shit made me
look like a has-been.

933
00:44:52.160 --> 00:44:53.957
Come on, man.
The crowd loved it.

934
00:44:54.640 --> 00:44:55.640
Whatever, man.

935
00:44:57.600 --> 00:44:58.600
Conner.

936
00:45:08.240 --> 00:45:10.280
<i>Well, look,
you have to understand something.</i>

937
00:45:10.360 --> 00:45:12.555
<i>Conner's lived
a very blessed life.</i>

938
00:45:12.640 --> 00:45:15.108
<i>He got very successful
very, very young.</i>

939
00:45:15.200 --> 00:45:16.269
No, no, no.

940
00:45:16.400 --> 00:45:18.595
<i>And because of that,
he never really learned</i>

941
00:45:18.680 --> 00:45:20.830
to handle adversity
in an adult way.

942
00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:24.117
<i>How many people here bought
my new album</i> CONNquest?

943
00:45:25.320 --> 00:45:28.153
<i>All y'all are liars!
I know you didn't buy it!</i>

944
00:45:28.240 --> 00:45:30.470
<i>Do you guys even
like me anymore?</i>

945
00:45:30.560 --> 00:45:31.656
<i>Could've seen this coming.</i>

946
00:45:31.680 --> 00:45:34.478
<i>Conner4Real dumped by new fiancée,
Ashley Wednesday.</i>

947
00:45:34.640 --> 00:45:36.256
Hey, Conner,
why did Ashley dump you, bro?

948
00:45:36.280 --> 00:45:38.589
- Get the fuck off me.
- Yo, man!

949
00:45:38.680 --> 00:45:39.749
Son of a bitch!

950
00:45:39.840 --> 00:45:42.576
- Yo, I could really use you out here, man.
<i>- Mmm-hmm.</i>

951
00:45:42.600 --> 00:45:44.591
Yo, we're in
Denver tomorrow.

952
00:45:44.720 --> 00:45:46.870
<i>Come through.
I'll send a car for you.</i>

953
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:48.080
He really wants
to apologize?

954
00:45:48.160 --> 00:45:49.256
<i>Yes. He really...</i>

955
00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:50.280
Stop. Down.

956
00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:51.634
This business
can be crazy, man.

957
00:45:51.720 --> 00:45:54.518
That's why it's so important to
be around people that you trust,

958
00:45:54.600 --> 00:45:55.640
<i>that you've grown up with.</i>

959
00:45:55.720 --> 00:45:56.994
I mean...
What is that?

960
00:45:57.080 --> 00:45:58.991
<i>And, plus,
Lawrence was always the one</i>

961
00:45:59.080 --> 00:46:01.355
<i>who could cheer
Conner up, you know.</i>

962
00:46:02.320 --> 00:46:03.320
Mmm-hmm.

963
00:46:03.400 --> 00:46:07.188
Dude, please. He really needs
his real friends right now.

964
00:46:07.720 --> 00:46:09.631
<i>He needs you.</i>

965
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:11.592
Yo, what's that sound
in the background?

966
00:46:11.680 --> 00:46:15.355
Oh, it's just my girlfriend.
I'm having sex with her.

967
00:46:16.200 --> 00:46:19.749
All right, man. Maybe, you know?
Maybe. I'll think about it.

968
00:46:19.880 --> 00:46:23.156
<i>So last night, I caught a
little bit of this obscure old movie</i>

969
00:46:23.240 --> 00:46:24.559
called <i>The Parent Trap,</i> right?

970
00:46:24.640 --> 00:46:27.712
<i>In that movie,
these two little red-headed girls,</i>

971
00:46:27.800 --> 00:46:30.837
<i>they get the idea to trick
their divorced parents</i>

972
00:46:30.920 --> 00:46:33.150
<i>into falling back in
love with each other,</i>

973
00:46:33.240 --> 00:46:38.997
so I was like, "Yo, if I just get Lawrence
and Conner in the same room together,

974
00:46:39.080 --> 00:46:41.674
"boom, they're gonna
realize that they're friends,

975
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:44.035
"and we all can all
be buddies again."

976
00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:55.239
<i>Mona Lisa</i>

977
00:46:55.320 --> 00:46:58.790
<i>You're an overrated
piece of shit</i>

978
00:46:58.920 --> 00:47:00.990
<i>What the fuck
is this garbage</i>

979
00:47:01.080 --> 00:47:02.877
Tyrus, shut up, man.
We're watching TV.

980
00:47:02.960 --> 00:47:03.960
Quiet, fool.

981
00:47:04.040 --> 00:47:06.759
Leave the singing to the professionals,
please. Yeah?

982
00:47:06.840 --> 00:47:07.955
You're right.
I'm sorry.

983
00:47:08.040 --> 00:47:09.792
And cut softer, dawg.

984
00:47:15.560 --> 00:47:18.199
<i>Dedicated to
the people of Ethpania.</i>

985
00:47:19.200 --> 00:47:22.510
We were on the road
in Spain, and I noticed

986
00:47:22.600 --> 00:47:28.789
that the people there pronounce the
letter S with, like, a T-H "th" sound,

987
00:47:28.880 --> 00:47:34.193
so instead of saying Spain,
they say Thpain, you know,

988
00:47:34.280 --> 00:47:38.319
and it's like the whole country
has a crazy speech impediment,

989
00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:40.118
so I wrote a thong
about that.

990
00:47:41.280 --> 00:47:44.750
<i>In Ibitha, tha, tha, tha</i>

991
00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:48.316
<i>Every day's
a fiesta, tha, tha</i>

992
00:47:48.520 --> 00:47:52.354
<i>Speakers boom On the dance
floor, floor, floor</i>

993
00:47:52.440 --> 00:47:55.876
<i>Everyone is a star,
star, star, star</i>

994
00:47:55.960 --> 00:47:58.838
<i>Our tummies are
full of Pae-jhay-ah</i>

995
00:48:00.200 --> 00:48:01.792
All right.
Thanks, man.

996
00:48:01.880 --> 00:48:03.108
Man, good shit.

997
00:48:03.200 --> 00:48:04.918
You dropped in
perfect right on that one.

998
00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:06.433
Oh, thanks, man.
Thanks.

999
00:48:06.520 --> 00:48:10.035
Oh, I invited Lawrence to come
to the after-party tonight,

1000
00:48:10.120 --> 00:48:11.519
so he might be here.

1001
00:48:11.600 --> 00:48:12.794
What? Lawrence is here?

1002
00:48:12.880 --> 00:48:15.872
Yeah, man. You know, I told you
he lives right nearby here,

1003
00:48:15.960 --> 00:48:17.776
so I just thought it'd
be cool for him to come.

1004
00:48:17.800 --> 00:48:19.656
He actually... He wanted
to apologize to you, I think...

1005
00:48:19.680 --> 00:48:22.990
Owen, are you trying
to <i>Parent Trap</i> us?

1006
00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:26.155
No.

1007
00:48:27.400 --> 00:48:28.992
God,
he looks like a caveman.

1008
00:48:29.600 --> 00:48:31.795
Look at this fool.
He's about to murder somebody.

1009
00:48:31.880 --> 00:48:33.800
I think it's just
the lighting in the limo.

1010
00:48:33.840 --> 00:48:34.989
What?

1011
00:48:35.080 --> 00:48:38.311
No, seriously, I think that
that's just his resting face.

1012
00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:40.118
He's just relaxing.

1013
00:48:40.200 --> 00:48:42.656
So, what, he'll just apologize to me,
and I'm supposed to forgive him,

1014
00:48:42.680 --> 00:48:45.069
and then we go back to
being a big happy family?

1015
00:48:45.640 --> 00:48:47.676
Something
like that, yeah.

1016
00:48:48.320 --> 00:48:50.470
All right.

1017
00:48:56.120 --> 00:48:59.157
Style Boyz in
the house, right?

1018
00:49:07.120 --> 00:49:08.439
No. No.
Fuck this.

1019
00:49:08.520 --> 00:49:10.078
No. No!
Fans got through the gate.

1020
00:49:10.200 --> 00:49:13.909
We've got to lock up. Let me out, man.
Unlock the doors.

1021
00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:16.070
Yeah, you should go, man.
Bail. That's your move.

1022
00:49:16.160 --> 00:49:18.230
That's not my move. That's your move.
You bailed.

1023
00:49:18.320 --> 00:49:20.117
I didn't bail.
People liked me best,

1024
00:49:20.200 --> 00:49:22.236
and you couldn't handle it,
so I did my own thing.

1025
00:49:22.320 --> 00:49:24.276
People liked you best
'cause of the shit I wrote.

1026
00:49:24.360 --> 00:49:27.056
They don't like your shit. They like
my shit, and they don't even know it.

1027
00:49:27.080 --> 00:49:30.311
Take a look around, Lawrence.
If you were so important to my success,

1028
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:33.358
how come my solo shit's way
bigger than Style Boyz ever was?

1029
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:35.112
You got Owen
making all your beats,

1030
00:49:35.240 --> 00:49:37.160
and now you ditched him,
and your shit's tanking.

1031
00:49:37.240 --> 00:49:39.356
Why can't you just
give me any credit, man?

1032
00:49:39.440 --> 00:49:40.839
Just admit that
I'm talented?

1033
00:49:40.920 --> 00:49:43.229
Why can't you admit that I
wrote the "catchphrase" verse?

1034
00:49:43.320 --> 00:49:44.320
Oh, this shit again.

1035
00:49:44.400 --> 00:49:46.456
None of this garbage out
here is possible without me.

1036
00:49:46.480 --> 00:49:49.233
Admit that shit. Man, what the
fuck is going on out there?

1037
00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:51.112
Conner, sign my tits!
Oh, what this?

1038
00:49:51.200 --> 00:49:53.998
This is just some
beautiful-ass titties, man.

1039
00:49:54.080 --> 00:49:57.231
My fans ask me to sign them all
the time because they love me,

1040
00:49:57.320 --> 00:49:58.878
and I love them, Lawrence.

1041
00:49:58.960 --> 00:50:01.235
And you know what?
You need to grow up, dude,

1042
00:50:01.320 --> 00:50:05.313
because this right here,
this is what it's all about, my friend.

1043
00:50:05.400 --> 00:50:07.994
Making art.
Connecting with people.

1044
00:50:08.080 --> 00:50:10.435
This is that
rock star life, my man,

1045
00:50:10.520 --> 00:50:14.354
and I'm slurping it down like
a big old fat milkshake.

1046
00:50:14.440 --> 00:50:15.919
Hey, Conner?
Not now, Owen.

1047
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:17.991
- Just...
- I'm gonna sign these titties,

1048
00:50:18.080 --> 00:50:21.470
so sit back and watch how it's done,
my friend. I'm gonna...

1049
00:50:21.560 --> 00:50:23.516
Oh, shit! Oh! It's a dick!

1050
00:50:23.600 --> 00:50:25.397
That's one of your
fans, man. Go for it.

1051
00:50:25.480 --> 00:50:26.959
Can you make it out to Jenna?

1052
00:50:27.040 --> 00:50:28.075
Oh, hello.
That's me.

1053
00:50:28.160 --> 00:50:29.195
It's nice to meet you.

1054
00:50:29.280 --> 00:50:31.236
That's my fiance's penis. Ah.

1055
00:50:31.320 --> 00:50:32.355
Big fan.

1056
00:50:32.440 --> 00:50:34.158
Thanks, man.
So tight. Okay.

1057
00:50:34.240 --> 00:50:36.310
He's inside.
I'm just gonna...

1058
00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:40.712
The old John Hancock.

1059
00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:42.756
Are you guys getting back together?
Style Boyz?

1060
00:50:42.840 --> 00:50:43.840
- No.
- No.

1061
00:50:43.920 --> 00:50:45.176
We're thinking about it.
Right on.

1062
00:50:45.200 --> 00:50:47.236
I'm gonna roll the
window up now so just...

1063
00:50:47.320 --> 00:50:49.390
Thanks for coming by.
Great to meet you guys.

1064
00:50:49.480 --> 00:50:51.152
I rest my case, Lawrence.

1065
00:50:51.240 --> 00:50:53.037
You think
you know what's up,

1066
00:50:53.120 --> 00:50:57.113
but in fact, you my friend,
have no idea what's going on.

1067
00:50:57.760 --> 00:50:59.079
Don't call me again.

1068
00:50:59.200 --> 00:51:01.953
Lawrence, dude.
Don't leave like that.

1069
00:51:03.480 --> 00:51:04.480
Shit.

1070
00:51:04.600 --> 00:51:06.795
We should probably
hit the car wash.

1071
00:51:10.480 --> 00:51:13.916
<i>All work and no play
Make Hunter go crazy</i>

1072
00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:17.709
<i>All play and no work Make
Hunter feel just as depressed</i>

1073
00:51:17.800 --> 00:51:18.800
<i>I'm OJ
I'm Simpson</i>

1074
00:51:18.840 --> 00:51:20.910
<i>I'm Martha
I'm Plimpton</i>

1075
00:51:21.240 --> 00:51:23.196
Finally heard back
from the Poppies.

1076
00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:26.352
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, they love you.

1077
00:51:26.440 --> 00:51:30.433
Um, they just don't have
enough room for you this year.

1078
00:51:30.520 --> 00:51:32.078
What? For real?

1079
00:51:32.160 --> 00:51:34.196
Yeah, it's a bummer. I know.

1080
00:51:34.320 --> 00:51:37.517
I told them to keep us in
mind if anything changes.

1081
00:51:37.600 --> 00:51:38.715
It could come around.

1082
00:51:38.800 --> 00:51:40.472
This business is tough.

1083
00:51:40.560 --> 00:51:46.032
The highs are high, and the
lows are low, you know.

1084
00:51:46.440 --> 00:51:47.440
It's like a wave.

1085
00:51:47.520 --> 00:51:49.720
You've just got to learn how
to ride the wave, you know.

1086
00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:51.796
Up and down,
just like that.

1087
00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:54.434
Tony! Toni! Tone! Tonee?

1088
00:51:54.520 --> 00:51:55.873
Bartending.

1089
00:51:56.960 --> 00:51:59.997
Style Boyz, Conner4Real.

1090
00:52:02.800 --> 00:52:05.314
That means I might be
going down again soon.

1091
00:52:05.400 --> 00:52:07.436
<i>Heya, heya, ho</i>

1092
00:52:07.560 --> 00:52:09.630
Harry, he's
30 minutes over.

1093
00:52:09.720 --> 00:52:11.358
I'm sure he'll
be done soon.

1094
00:52:11.480 --> 00:52:15.109
<i>I'm never gonna leave this stage!
I'm gonna die up here!</i>

1095
00:52:16.320 --> 00:52:17.435
All right, that's it.

1096
00:52:17.520 --> 00:52:18.794
Owen, get your gear.

1097
00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:19.915
Got it.

1098
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:21.000
Frank, queue it up.

1099
00:52:21.040 --> 00:52:22.109
Conner,
what are you doing?

1100
00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:23.639
I'm going on, Harry.

1101
00:52:23.720 --> 00:52:26.792
<i>You better get a bedpan!
I'll be here all night, bitch!</i>

1102
00:52:27.640 --> 00:52:30.074
<i>Who came here to see
Hunter the Hungry?</i>

1103
00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:35.752
<i>And who came here
to see Conner4Real?</i>

1104
00:52:41.840 --> 00:52:43.478
What's up, y'all?

1105
00:52:53.920 --> 00:52:54.920
What'd you just say?

1106
00:52:56.120 --> 00:52:58.190
<i>Contact, skip the intro.
Go to</i> Humble.

1107
00:52:58.320 --> 00:53:00.856
<i>Stomping through the
forest Like a retarded Tyrannosaurus</i>

1108
00:53:00.880 --> 00:53:02.456
<i>Bar none,
I am the most humblest</i>

1109
00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:04.616
<i>In the back of
a Ford Taurus Fuck the chorus</i>

1110
00:53:04.640 --> 00:53:06.921
<i>Number one
at the top of the humble list</i>

1111
00:53:13.960 --> 00:53:15.360
All right, Harry.
We've got to talk.

1112
00:53:15.440 --> 00:53:17.192
I know. That was a mess
out there tonight.

1113
00:53:17.280 --> 00:53:18.998
Yeah, we have to
get rid of Hunter.

1114
00:53:19.080 --> 00:53:20.513
We can't fire Hunter.

1115
00:53:20.600 --> 00:53:23.239
Conner, I mean he's one of the
reasons that the tour's sold out.

1116
00:53:23.320 --> 00:53:24.435
I want him
off the tour.

1117
00:53:24.520 --> 00:53:27.990
Well, look he's number one
on Bonkohub right now.

1118
00:53:28.080 --> 00:53:29.274
Well, what number are we?

1119
00:53:29.360 --> 00:53:31.510
Numbers don't matter. Come on.
You know that.

1120
00:53:31.640 --> 00:53:33.471
God. Can we
talk about this helmet?

1121
00:53:33.560 --> 00:53:35.755
It's crazy heavy, and it's
really hurting my back.

1122
00:53:35.840 --> 00:53:38.256
Owen, why are you talking right now?
Why are you in this meeting?

1123
00:53:38.280 --> 00:53:39.713
I'm in all of
our meetings.

1124
00:53:39.800 --> 00:53:42.758
Dude, just leave, all right?
Go have a meeting with Lawrence.

1125
00:53:42.840 --> 00:53:45.308
You know it's not my fault that
the album's not selling, okay?

1126
00:53:45.400 --> 00:53:46.674
Don't take it
out on me.

1127
00:53:46.760 --> 00:53:47.988
Great.

1128
00:53:48.120 --> 00:53:50.509
Harry, we have to get rid
of Hunter, all right?

1129
00:53:50.600 --> 00:53:53.797
I'm not asking. I'm telling.
You represent me, not him.

1130
00:53:54.320 --> 00:53:58.632
Okay, look, well,
actually, technically,

1131
00:54:00.640 --> 00:54:03.632
full disclosure,
I represent both of you.

1132
00:54:04.840 --> 00:54:05.840
What?

1133
00:54:07.200 --> 00:54:08.269
Yeah.

1134
00:54:08.360 --> 00:54:09.429
You signed him?

1135
00:54:09.520 --> 00:54:10.669
Conner, come on.

1136
00:54:10.760 --> 00:54:11.800
Are you kidding me, Harry?

1137
00:54:11.840 --> 00:54:13.034
It's just business.

1138
00:54:13.120 --> 00:54:16.954
It's not to me. All right, look,
decide right now. Him or me?

1139
00:54:17.040 --> 00:54:19.838
Come on. Don't go there.
Look, I've got a family to feed.

1140
00:54:19.920 --> 00:54:21.239
What? No, you don't.

1141
00:54:21.360 --> 00:54:23.430
I have a niece.
We all have a niece!

1142
00:54:23.520 --> 00:54:25.238
You know what?

1143
00:54:25.800 --> 00:54:26.869
You're fired.

1144
00:54:26.960 --> 00:54:30.839
Conner, you're just... You're upset,
and you're overreacting.

1145
00:54:32.160 --> 00:54:33.878
Okay, now I've got to
collate that.

1146
00:54:33.960 --> 00:54:35.757
Great. Have fun collating.

1147
00:54:36.160 --> 00:54:38.276
There's no fun
in collating!

1148
00:54:39.520 --> 00:54:43.274
What's up, my confidants?
Who can you really trust?

1149
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:45.430
<i>I thought I could
trust my manager,</i>

1150
00:54:45.520 --> 00:54:49.229
<i>but it turned out he was stabbing
me in the back the whole time.</i>

1151
00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:50.799
<i>I thought
I could trust Seal.</i>

1152
00:54:52.040 --> 00:54:53.792
<i>I thought I could
trust the Yelp reviews</i>

1153
00:54:53.880 --> 00:54:58.192
<i>of PartyWolves.com.
Really makes you think, doesn't it?</i>

1154
00:54:58.280 --> 00:55:03.718
<i>Who's out there scheming behind my back,
trying to take what I built.</i>

1155
00:55:03.800 --> 00:55:06.792
<i>I need to find out
who I can really trust.</i>

1156
00:55:19.200 --> 00:55:21.760
All right, y'all,
come and get them.

1157
00:55:21.880 --> 00:55:24.348
Conner's fancy
flapjacks right here!

1158
00:55:24.440 --> 00:55:26.431
Thanks, Conner.

1159
00:55:26.520 --> 00:55:28.750
Eat up. Eat up. Eat up.

1160
00:55:29.040 --> 00:55:30.268
Mmm. Mmm.

1161
00:55:32.240 --> 00:55:33.275
Mmm!

1162
00:55:33.360 --> 00:55:34.998
Sponge, you like
those pancakes?

1163
00:55:35.960 --> 00:55:37.120
- They're so good.
- Yeah.

1164
00:55:37.200 --> 00:55:39.350
Yeah.
Eddie? Feeling these?

1165
00:55:41.480 --> 00:55:42.595
Okay. Mmm-hmm.

1166
00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:45.478
Dude, I'm sorry. I can't.

1167
00:55:45.560 --> 00:55:48.358
Conn, these are terrible, man.
I'm really sorry.

1168
00:55:48.440 --> 00:55:50.874
Thank you, Owen, truly.

1169
00:55:51.360 --> 00:55:53.430
Okay. And the rest
of you liked them?

1170
00:55:54.280 --> 00:55:56.032
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
Yup.

1171
00:55:56.120 --> 00:56:00.113
Well, that's very disappointing
because they are not good.

1172
00:56:00.200 --> 00:56:01.200
I knew it.

1173
00:56:01.280 --> 00:56:04.431
And the reason they're not good is
because I put dog shit in them.

1174
00:56:04.520 --> 00:56:05.635
What?

1175
00:56:05.720 --> 00:56:08.439
Oh! Dang, dude. That's nasty.
That's hilarious.

1176
00:56:08.520 --> 00:56:12.115
The reason that I did that is to
see who would tell me the truth.

1177
00:56:12.280 --> 00:56:14.191
Oh! Conn,
that's mad smart.

1178
00:56:14.280 --> 00:56:15.793
Yeah. He's always
two steps ahead.

1179
00:56:15.880 --> 00:56:17.791
No. No, stop
doing that, you guys.

1180
00:56:18.200 --> 00:56:19.296
This is what
I'm talking about.

1181
00:56:19.320 --> 00:56:21.117
You can't just agree
with everything I say.

1182
00:56:21.240 --> 00:56:22.736
No doubt. No doubt. No doubt.
It's not helpful.

1183
00:56:22.760 --> 00:56:23.760
Got to be honest.

1184
00:56:23.840 --> 00:56:25.796
No, you're doing it again, all right?
Just stop.

1185
00:56:25.880 --> 00:56:29.031
You fed us dog shit?
What is wrong with you?

1186
00:56:29.120 --> 00:56:30.553
Owen, chill out, man.

1187
00:56:30.640 --> 00:56:32.616
You're the only one who passed the test.
You're good.

1188
00:56:32.640 --> 00:56:35.598
How the fuck can you think I
was one of your lackeys, dude?

1189
00:56:35.680 --> 00:56:36.795
I'm your oldest friend.

1190
00:56:37.080 --> 00:56:38.957
Hey, we're friends!
We're all friends.

1191
00:56:39.080 --> 00:56:41.071
I should've told you
to fuck off years ago,

1192
00:56:41.160 --> 00:56:43.480
but instead I just let you
become a bigger and bigger dick.

1193
00:56:43.520 --> 00:56:45.715
Look, I'm sorry, but
I've kept you on the tour.

1194
00:56:45.800 --> 00:56:48.109
I keep you paid.
I put food on the table.

1195
00:56:48.200 --> 00:56:49.394
With dog shit in it!

1196
00:56:49.480 --> 00:56:51.391
It's the thought
that counts, man.

1197
00:56:51.480 --> 00:56:53.311
Oh, my God.
That's it. I quit.

1198
00:56:53.400 --> 00:56:54.674
You can't quit.

1199
00:56:54.760 --> 00:56:56.318
What do I even
do anymore, Conner?

1200
00:56:56.400 --> 00:56:59.790
I push play on an iPod
in a robot costume.

1201
00:56:59.880 --> 00:57:02.838
All right,
fine, then. Go.

1202
00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:04.915
Fine.

1203
00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:06.909
Fine.

1204
00:57:08.120 --> 00:57:09.189
Fine.

1205
00:57:19.240 --> 00:57:20.673
Maximus!

1206
00:57:21.200 --> 00:57:22.792
I'm home, buddy.

1207
00:57:23.840 --> 00:57:27.037
Sometimes,
he kicks it in here. Max!

1208
00:57:29.800 --> 00:57:30.994
You hear that?

1209
00:57:32.360 --> 00:57:33.429
Max?

1210
00:57:34.360 --> 00:57:37.113
What are you doing?
What's wrong with you?

1211
00:57:37.200 --> 00:57:40.715
Why are you all white?
Why is he making that sound?

1212
00:57:42.560 --> 00:57:45.120
Oh, fuck! There's something
wrong with Maximus!

1213
00:57:45.200 --> 00:57:47.668
His scales are all ashy.
Come on!

1214
00:57:49.640 --> 00:57:54.794
No! Get out of the way!
Move! Come on!

1215
00:57:55.280 --> 00:57:57.714
Please! Please move!
My turtle is sick.

1216
00:57:57.800 --> 00:58:01.076
I've got to get him to the hospital.
He's gonna die.

1217
00:58:01.800 --> 00:58:05.349
Maximus!

1218
00:58:08.520 --> 00:58:11.717
As I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,

1219
00:58:12.240 --> 00:58:16.074
I take a look at my life and
realize there's nothing left.

1220
00:58:16.400 --> 00:58:19.710
<i>Maximus was my best friend,
who struggled daily</i>

1221
00:58:19.800 --> 00:58:23.509
<i>with soggy bones syndrome,
but never complained once.</i>

1222
00:58:23.600 --> 00:58:27.752
<i>Conner4Real fighting with
Martin Sheen, gets knocked the "F" out.</i>

1223
00:58:27.840 --> 00:58:29.296
<i>The guy from</i>
The West Wing?

1224
00:58:29.320 --> 00:58:31.416
<i>Things going from
bad to worse for Conner4Real,</i>

1225
00:58:31.440 --> 00:58:35.069
<i>seen unconscious, rolling
around town on a hoverboard.</i>

1226
00:58:35.320 --> 00:58:39.154
Now go and join your
family in turtle heaven.

1227
00:58:44.080 --> 00:58:45.115
Fuck, yeah!

1228
00:59:04.560 --> 00:59:07.358
It's time, man.
You've got to know when to go home.

1229
00:59:07.480 --> 00:59:09.471
Bro, you've got to
know when to let go.

1230
00:59:09.560 --> 00:59:13.439
The key is don't play yourself.
That's it. Very simple.

1231
00:59:13.520 --> 00:59:17.798
Don't play yourself.
Congratulations, you played yourself.

1232
00:59:17.880 --> 00:59:19.359
You guys win.

1233
00:59:20.600 --> 00:59:23.239
I get the message.
I'll go away.

1234
00:59:23.320 --> 00:59:26.437
This is Conner4Real
signing off.

1235
00:59:35.040 --> 00:59:37.076
<i>So,
I am back in Sac,</i>

1236
00:59:37.160 --> 00:59:41.358
<i>housesitting for my mom 'cause
she's on tour with Fall Out Boy.</i>

1237
00:59:41.440 --> 00:59:42.668
Are you guys filming me?

1238
00:59:42.720 --> 00:59:44.950
<i>It's been awesome, you know.</i>

1239
00:59:45.040 --> 00:59:47.270
Dude, which one of
y'all pissed on me?

1240
00:59:47.400 --> 00:59:50.233
<i>Feels really good to reconnect
with my hometown.</i>

1241
00:59:50.320 --> 00:59:55.952
<i>I've just been really living a very
simple life, kind of back to basics.</i>

1242
00:59:56.720 --> 00:59:59.154
I've been watching
a lot of dressage,

1243
00:59:59.280 --> 01:00:03.831
which is a very elevated, uh,
competitive form of horse dancing,

1244
01:00:04.320 --> 01:00:07.869
<i>and I've been doing a lot of
painting and a lot of sketching.</i>

1245
01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:10.468
<i>I'm doing a series
on show ponies.</i>

1246
01:00:11.320 --> 01:00:13.880
I actually have a lot of
trouble with the hooves.

1247
01:00:13.960 --> 01:00:16.190
It's hard to get
like a hoof texture.

1248
01:00:16.280 --> 01:00:19.590
This one is, like,
pretty accurate, actually.

1249
01:00:19.720 --> 01:00:21.676
I'll show you guys the
horse that I based it on.

1250
01:00:21.760 --> 01:00:23.796
Anyway, it's not
my best one.

1251
01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:25.074
Um, like,
in retrospect,

1252
01:00:25.160 --> 01:00:27.594
I probably wouldn't have
used that shade of green.

1253
01:00:27.680 --> 01:00:30.478
<i>I've even been selling
some of them online,</i>

1254
01:00:30.560 --> 01:00:32.790
<i>which has been
a cool new experience.</i>

1255
01:00:33.240 --> 01:00:35.549
Ooh! Sold.

1256
01:00:36.480 --> 01:00:37.833
Eleven-fifty.

1257
01:00:37.920 --> 01:00:40.434
You know, it's not Conner4Real
numbers, you know,

1258
01:00:40.520 --> 01:00:43.034
but, in a way,
it means more.

1259
01:00:43.160 --> 01:00:45.879
<i>That's pretty much it, you know.
That's my life now.</i>

1260
01:00:53.240 --> 01:00:54.275
Hello?

1261
01:00:54.360 --> 01:00:55.360
Hey!

1262
01:00:55.760 --> 01:00:59.435
What's up, dude?
You guys, Paula's here.

1263
01:00:59.520 --> 01:01:00.748
What's going on?

1264
01:01:00.840 --> 01:01:02.592
Just wanted to
check up on you.

1265
01:01:02.720 --> 01:01:04.358
You want a drink?

1266
01:01:04.440 --> 01:01:07.034
Uh, no. It's 11:00.
It's 11:00 in the morning.

1267
01:01:07.120 --> 01:01:09.190
It's 11:30
somewhere.

1268
01:01:13.240 --> 01:01:15.276
Can we please
turn this off?

1269
01:01:15.400 --> 01:01:17.914
Look at
those little nerds.

1270
01:01:18.040 --> 01:01:19.996
We were very cool for
our school district.

1271
01:01:20.080 --> 01:01:21.559
<i>My birthday is awesome.</i>

1272
01:01:21.680 --> 01:01:23.456
Yeah, man, we used to have fun.
<i>Best birthday ever.</i>

1273
01:01:23.480 --> 01:01:24.754
What the fuck happened?

1274
01:01:25.680 --> 01:01:26.680
<i>Okay.</i>

1275
01:01:27.800 --> 01:01:29.472
Oh, shit.
<i>Next.</i>

1276
01:01:29.600 --> 01:01:32.398
I think this is the day that
my mom gave me Maximus. Oh!

1277
01:01:33.120 --> 01:01:36.430
<i>This one is from
Owen and Lawrence.</i>

1278
01:01:36.520 --> 01:01:37.919
<i>A turtle!</i>

1279
01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:39.353
<i>- A turtle!
- Oh, my goodness!</i>

1280
01:01:39.440 --> 01:01:42.113
<i>Look, Mom,
they got me a turtle!</i>

1281
01:01:43.640 --> 01:01:45.880
<i>- What do you say, sweetie?
- Thank you.</i>

1282
01:01:46.360 --> 01:01:47.918
<i>You're welcome.
You're welcome.</i>

1283
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:49.600
<i>Honey,
what are you gonna name it?</i>

1284
01:01:49.880 --> 01:01:51.711
<i>I'm gonna name it
Maximus.</i>

1285
01:01:51.800 --> 01:01:52.800
Get up. We're going out.

1286
01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:55.274
What? Oh, no,
I'm not going out.

1287
01:01:55.360 --> 01:01:57.999
I cannot deal with
the public right now.

1288
01:01:58.080 --> 01:01:59.274
Conner, it's not
a question.

1289
01:02:02.120 --> 01:02:04.998
All right, fine,
but if we're going out,

1290
01:02:05.080 --> 01:02:07.275
I've got to put on
my makeup.

1291
01:02:07.360 --> 01:02:08.395
Please don't
put that on.

1292
01:02:12.720 --> 01:02:16.554
This is cool. It feels good to be out.
You were right.

1293
01:02:16.640 --> 01:02:19.359
Good. Yeah, I'm glad I did this,
though, you know.

1294
01:02:19.440 --> 01:02:23.194
Makes me feel more comfortable,
more at ease. I feel at ease.

1295
01:02:23.320 --> 01:02:25.436
Yeah, you look really comfortable.
Yeah.

1296
01:02:25.520 --> 01:02:27.988
You look like Matthew Modine
had a peanut allergy.

1297
01:02:28.080 --> 01:02:29.080
All right.

1298
01:02:29.160 --> 01:02:30.912
You look like
Nazi propaganda.

1299
01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:32.149
Okay, that's foul.

1300
01:02:50.360 --> 01:02:51.679
Wait a minute.

1301
01:03:04.640 --> 01:03:05.640
Whoo!

1302
01:03:05.680 --> 01:03:08.148
That piano part
is incredible.

1303
01:03:11.200 --> 01:03:14.351
<i>Earth, wind, and birds</i>

1304
01:03:16.040 --> 01:03:22.070
<i>They fill my heart up
With darkness alone</i>

1305
01:03:26.720 --> 01:03:28.597
Was my last album bad?

1306
01:03:30.720 --> 01:03:32.790
I feel like I probably
could've handled myself

1307
01:03:32.880 --> 01:03:35.474
a little better over
the past few months.

1308
01:03:36.240 --> 01:03:38.515
It feels so nice to be
able to say all this shit

1309
01:03:38.600 --> 01:03:41.717
'cause the music is so
loud no one can hear me.

1310
01:03:42.240 --> 01:03:44.708
That <i>Equal Rights</i>
song was offensive!

1311
01:03:45.840 --> 01:03:47.273
I feel free!

1312
01:03:47.360 --> 01:03:48.918
Whoo!

1313
01:03:50.200 --> 01:03:52.316
Thanks for coming out, you guys.
Means a lot.

1314
01:03:52.400 --> 01:03:54.277
Great show, Kid Contact.

1315
01:03:54.920 --> 01:03:57.434
Conner? Oh! Man!
How'd you recognize me?

1316
01:03:57.560 --> 01:03:59.120
What's up, man?
What are you doing here?

1317
01:03:59.160 --> 01:04:01.833
Had to put on the disguise, right?
Yeah. No, I see that.

1318
01:04:01.920 --> 01:04:03.876
Come check out my
homie do his thing, man.

1319
01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:05.797
Great show.
Thanks, man.

1320
01:04:05.880 --> 01:04:07.108
Yeah. Yeah.

1321
01:04:07.200 --> 01:04:08.269
Oh, Paula brought you?

1322
01:04:10.600 --> 01:04:13.194
She did, and I'm
really glad she did.

1323
01:04:13.280 --> 01:04:15.953
It was such a great show.
You sounded incredible, dude.

1324
01:04:16.640 --> 01:04:18.232
Thanks, man.
Yeah. Yeah.

1325
01:04:18.320 --> 01:04:20.436
I mean, my singing's
terrible, but, you know.

1326
01:04:20.520 --> 01:04:23.353
What? No. No.

1327
01:04:23.440 --> 01:04:25.032
I mean, all right, look,

1328
01:04:25.120 --> 01:04:27.560
maybe time for some vocal lessons,
you know. No shame in that.

1329
01:04:27.640 --> 01:04:29.631
Yeah, or you know who
would sound better on it?

1330
01:04:30.360 --> 01:04:31.395
Clay Aiken.

1331
01:04:31.480 --> 01:04:32.833
No, you.

1332
01:04:32.920 --> 01:04:34.478
No. No, man.

1333
01:04:34.560 --> 01:04:37.791
This is your thing,
and I'm hella proud of you, man.

1334
01:04:38.800 --> 01:04:41.314
And,
fuck, man, I just...

1335
01:04:41.400 --> 01:04:43.709
I wanna just
say I'm sorry.

1336
01:04:43.800 --> 01:04:46.416
Conner, just... I... Like, I love
that you're doing this right now,

1337
01:04:46.440 --> 01:04:48.715
but it's really hard
to take you seriously

1338
01:04:48.800 --> 01:04:50.791
because you just look
like Jason Segel right now.

1339
01:04:50.880 --> 01:04:51.880
Oh, Paula said that.

1340
01:04:51.960 --> 01:04:53.200
We have great minds. Yeah.
Yeah.

1341
01:04:53.320 --> 01:04:55.515
That's funny.
It must... Like, how does it look?

1342
01:04:55.600 --> 01:04:57.456
Oh, yeah, it's like the
spitting image of that guy.

1343
01:04:57.480 --> 01:04:58.515
Is that good?

1344
01:04:58.600 --> 01:04:59.736
It looks identical
to that dude.

1345
01:04:59.760 --> 01:05:00.795
"Sarah Marshall."

1346
01:05:00.880 --> 01:05:02.359
"I need to forget
about her."

1347
01:05:02.480 --> 01:05:03.936
Yeah, he needs to forget her.
Yeah. Yeah.

1348
01:05:03.960 --> 01:05:05.313
I love that movie.
So good.

1349
01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:09.031
Thanks, man. It means a
lot that you came out.

1350
01:05:09.120 --> 01:05:11.350
I'm glad I came, too.
For real.

1351
01:05:11.440 --> 01:05:13.237
That's good, man.

1352
01:05:22.680 --> 01:05:23.829
Nice.

1353
01:05:26.680 --> 01:05:28.159
What the fuck?

1354
01:05:31.160 --> 01:05:33.037
One of you guys
put this here?

1355
01:05:43.080 --> 01:05:44.195
Hey, Lawrence.

1356
01:05:44.840 --> 01:05:47.479
Conner. Owen.

1357
01:05:48.080 --> 01:05:49.354
Lawrence.

1358
01:05:50.320 --> 01:05:51.514
Conner.

1359
01:05:52.440 --> 01:05:53.475
I just...

1360
01:05:54.360 --> 01:05:56.271
That's for you, man,

1361
01:05:56.360 --> 01:05:57.713
to borrow, you know.

1362
01:05:58.640 --> 01:06:01.216
I figured you could take a bunch of
pics of you holding it and stuff.

1363
01:06:01.240 --> 01:06:02.992
You could post
them or whatever.

1364
01:06:03.520 --> 01:06:07.399
All right, so
now we're cool.

1365
01:06:13.040 --> 01:06:15.429
Lawrence!
What the fuck, man?

1366
01:06:15.520 --> 01:06:17.397
Now I've got to
go find that.

1367
01:06:18.320 --> 01:06:20.117
What do you
want me to say?

1368
01:06:20.200 --> 01:06:21.696
That you helped with
the "catchphrase" verse?

1369
01:06:21.720 --> 01:06:23.039
Is that what
this is still about?

1370
01:06:23.120 --> 01:06:26.192
Fine, you helped with the
"catchphrase" verse, all right?

1371
01:06:26.280 --> 01:06:27.633
You happy?

1372
01:06:28.760 --> 01:06:32.150
All right, and you
wrote most of it,

1373
01:06:32.240 --> 01:06:34.071
but using my catchphrases

1374
01:06:35.280 --> 01:06:37.396
that you also co-wrote.

1375
01:06:38.760 --> 01:06:40.990
All right, wrote, but we
were both in the room,

1376
01:06:41.080 --> 01:06:43.230
and I dictated
all the best stuff.

1377
01:06:44.400 --> 01:06:46.152
All right, none of
the best stuff, dude,

1378
01:06:46.240 --> 01:06:48.037
but I had
tons of great ideas

1379
01:06:48.120 --> 01:06:50.236
that I still don't even know
why you didn't use them.

1380
01:06:51.120 --> 01:06:52.838
Because they sucked!

1381
01:06:53.080 --> 01:06:54.957
Okay, fine.
That's my bad.

1382
01:06:55.040 --> 01:06:56.837
But I was there
the whole time, man.

1383
01:06:56.920 --> 01:06:59.718
I was a little late.
I was a little late that day.

1384
01:06:59.800 --> 01:07:03.475
There was traffic, and I was a
little tardy on that particular day.

1385
01:07:03.560 --> 01:07:05.357
There was no traffic.
I lied about that.

1386
01:07:05.440 --> 01:07:09.592
I lied about it because I
overslept on accident.

1387
01:07:09.680 --> 01:07:10.680
It was on purpose.

1388
01:07:10.760 --> 01:07:13.354
It was a power move. I was
trying to send a message,

1389
01:07:13.440 --> 01:07:15.749
and that was a dick move
on my part, all right?

1390
01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:20.516
However, once I got there,
late, I put in time, okay?

1391
01:07:20.640 --> 01:07:22.756
I left a little early.
I remember that.

1392
01:07:22.840 --> 01:07:24.990
I was never there.
Now, I remember.

1393
01:07:25.080 --> 01:07:27.594
I remember now
what happened!

1394
01:07:27.680 --> 01:07:30.114
I bailed and you
wrote the whole verse.

1395
01:07:30.200 --> 01:07:33.476
You wrote it, and I never gave
you credit 'cause guess why?

1396
01:07:33.560 --> 01:07:34.959
No one cares
who writes shit.

1397
01:07:35.040 --> 01:07:36.712
They just care
who performs it.

1398
01:07:36.800 --> 01:07:39.633
In fact, I think the only
person in the whole universe

1399
01:07:39.720 --> 01:07:43.269
who cares about the credit
for who wrote it is you!

1400
01:07:51.320 --> 01:07:52.435
Fuck.

1401
01:07:56.760 --> 01:07:58.113
I'm sorry.

1402
01:08:14.360 --> 01:08:15.360
Boom!

1403
01:08:15.840 --> 01:08:16.955
<i>Parent Trap.</i>

1404
01:08:23.880 --> 01:08:26.075
What'd you say
you grew here again?

1405
01:08:26.160 --> 01:08:29.436
- You'll see.
- Oh, shit.

1406
01:08:29.520 --> 01:08:31.636
Lawrence,
how much weed do you have?

1407
01:08:31.720 --> 01:08:35.633
<i>Hey, everyone, I'm gonna take the rest of
the day off to hang out with my friends.</i>

1408
01:08:35.720 --> 01:08:38.439
<i>Keep up the good work,
and let's have a great harvest.</i>

1409
01:08:38.680 --> 01:08:39.680
Okay.

1410
01:08:40.600 --> 01:08:42.830
- You guys still smoke?
- Yeah.

1411
01:08:46.080 --> 01:08:47.115
Cheers, dude.
Cheers.

1412
01:08:55.160 --> 01:08:57.176
It's really up there, man.
Good shot there, Lawrence.

1413
01:08:57.200 --> 01:08:58.600
All right, one, two, three.

1414
01:08:58.760 --> 01:08:59.760
Oh!

1415
01:08:59.880 --> 01:09:01.154
- Got it?
- Get it.

1416
01:09:01.360 --> 01:09:03.715
Ah! Yeah. Yeah.

1417
01:09:04.640 --> 01:09:05.755
Yeah.

1418
01:09:06.760 --> 01:09:08.113
No way this works.

1419
01:09:08.360 --> 01:09:09.475
Get it.
No.

1420
01:09:09.560 --> 01:09:11.630
No.
Yeah.

1421
01:09:11.720 --> 01:09:13.358
You smoked a Poppy, dude.

1422
01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:21.436
What was that beat that we were
messing with once that was like...

1423
01:09:25.920 --> 01:09:27.239
Yeah.
What was that?

1424
01:09:32.200 --> 01:09:33.474
We should mess with that.

1425
01:09:36.960 --> 01:09:40.077
That was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How did the lyrics go? What were the words?

1426
01:09:42.360 --> 01:09:44.749
<i>You are my number one pick</i>

1427
01:09:44.840 --> 01:09:46.068
We did it.
Yeah.

1428
01:09:46.200 --> 01:09:50.591
<i>Every time I call you
You say that you're sick</i>

1429
01:09:50.920 --> 01:09:52.194
She was always sick.

1430
01:09:52.280 --> 01:09:53.429
Lawrence
hooked up with her.

1431
01:09:53.520 --> 01:09:54.960
That's right.
You hooked up with her.

1432
01:09:55.000 --> 01:09:57.275
Don't do me like that.
Come on, y'all.

1433
01:09:58.080 --> 01:10:02.596
<i>Glenda, are you dying
Or just avoiding me</i>

1434
01:10:03.120 --> 01:10:04.120
That was it.

1435
01:10:04.200 --> 01:10:08.830
<i>Either way's a bummer
But I hope you're dying</i>

1436
01:10:08.920 --> 01:10:10.080
That's what up.
He wrote that.

1437
01:10:10.120 --> 01:10:12.440
<i>We had fun in there, man.
I forgot how fun it is.</i>

1438
01:10:13.000 --> 01:10:15.000
Kind of makes me think
that I fucking hate farming.

1439
01:10:15.480 --> 01:10:16.480
<i>I look at Conner,</i>

1440
01:10:16.560 --> 01:10:18.656
<i>and I see that seven-year-old
scrub that I grew up with,</i>

1441
01:10:18.680 --> 01:10:21.558
and it's like, how could you
be mad at a seven-year-old?

1442
01:10:22.560 --> 01:10:25.438
It's crazy I spent so much time
thinking about killing him.

1443
01:10:27.160 --> 01:10:28.479
You guys see that?

1444
01:10:29.640 --> 01:10:31.153
You missed me.

1445
01:10:31.800 --> 01:10:33.677
Oh, fuck.

1446
01:10:33.840 --> 01:10:36.479
Conner's full of surprises
these days, man.

1447
01:10:36.640 --> 01:10:38.358
<i>I mean,
on our way from the airport,</i>

1448
01:10:38.440 --> 01:10:40.078
<i>I actually noticed
something crazy.</i>

1449
01:10:40.160 --> 01:10:41.957
<i>I looked down
and in his bag,</i>

1450
01:10:42.040 --> 01:10:44.429
<i>he had this book called
How to Be a Better Friend.</i>

1451
01:10:44.520 --> 01:10:46.590
<i>It was all dog-eared
and scribbled on.</i>

1452
01:10:46.720 --> 01:10:48.711
It feels like
he's really trying,

1453
01:10:48.840 --> 01:10:51.560
and, plus, it shows he knows how to read,
which is really heartening.

1454
01:10:51.680 --> 01:10:54.319
I can't believe
you remembered that, man.

1455
01:10:54.400 --> 01:10:55.753
Paula's calling you.

1456
01:10:55.840 --> 01:10:57.136
There was a whole
second verse to that.

1457
01:10:57.160 --> 01:10:59.016
- Yeah, what was it, dude?
- Do you remember that?

1458
01:10:59.040 --> 01:11:00.720
I'm gonna grab it.
I'm gonna grab it. Okay.

1459
01:11:02.880 --> 01:11:03.915
Yo.

1460
01:11:04.000 --> 01:11:05.136
<i>Where the hell
have you been?</i>

1461
01:11:05.160 --> 01:11:08.869
I'm hanging with the guys.
It's actually been super fun, man.

1462
01:11:09.080 --> 01:11:11.799
<i>Conner, you just got
offered the Poppy Awards.</i>

1463
01:11:12.520 --> 01:11:13.635
Wait, what?

1464
01:11:13.720 --> 01:11:17.759
<i>The Poppy Awards.
Taylor Swift was arrested for murder.</i>

1465
01:11:17.840 --> 01:11:20.673
<i>They want you to close the show.
It is a huge slot.</i>

1466
01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:24.076
<i>Six minutes to do whatever you want,
but they need an answer now.</i>

1467
01:11:24.440 --> 01:11:26.556
Oh, shit. Um...

1468
01:11:27.080 --> 01:11:29.389
<i>This is what we've
been waiting for, Conner.</i>

1469
01:11:30.720 --> 01:11:32.597
She never wore socks

1470
01:11:32.680 --> 01:11:34.716
But that was
the third verse, though.

1471
01:11:34.800 --> 01:11:35.936
I'm talking about
the second verse.

1472
01:11:35.960 --> 01:11:37.136
Like what was
the second verse?

1473
01:11:37.160 --> 01:11:41.233
<i>Her daddy hates me
'Cause my car is slick</i>

1474
01:11:41.320 --> 01:11:42.719
Yes!
Okay.

1475
01:11:43.040 --> 01:11:44.234
Let's record it.
Hell, yeah.

1476
01:11:44.360 --> 01:11:45.429
Let me get on
the boards.

1477
01:11:45.520 --> 01:11:46.720
What did
Paula want, man?

1478
01:11:46.760 --> 01:11:50.070
Oh, nothing, they wanted me to do
the Pop Awards, but I passed on it.

1479
01:11:50.840 --> 01:11:51.955
Yo, what?

1480
01:11:52.040 --> 01:11:54.336
Dude, I don't wanna do that shit.
I'm hanging with you guys.

1481
01:11:54.360 --> 01:11:56.715
Who fucking cares, dude?
That's the Poppies.

1482
01:11:56.800 --> 01:11:57.994
All right,
but I thought

1483
01:11:58.080 --> 01:12:00.913
this was, like, the whole reason
you guys were mad at me,

1484
01:12:01.000 --> 01:12:03.230
for going and doing
all this solo shit.

1485
01:12:03.320 --> 01:12:06.039
Dude, you don't have to choose
between us and your solo shit.

1486
01:12:06.120 --> 01:12:08.873
It's like with Wu-Tang Clan.
It's like you're Method Man,

1487
01:12:08.960 --> 01:12:12.430
and he made a solo record,
but he's still in the Wu-Tang Clan.

1488
01:12:12.520 --> 01:12:14.397
He never stopped
being in the Wu-Tang Clan.

1489
01:12:14.480 --> 01:12:16.391
- Right.
- Or like the GZA.

1490
01:12:16.480 --> 01:12:19.950
He was in the Wu-Tang Clan,
and then he made a solo record,

1491
01:12:20.040 --> 01:12:22.270
but he never stopped
being in the Wu-Tang Clan.

1492
01:12:22.400 --> 01:12:24.152
Yeah, or you're the RZA,

1493
01:12:24.240 --> 01:12:27.437
and you can do your solo shit, but
you're still in the Wu-Tang Clan.

1494
01:12:27.800 --> 01:12:30.997
So basically,
we're the Wu-Tang Clan.

1495
01:12:31.080 --> 01:12:32.399
Exactly, but better.

1496
01:12:32.480 --> 01:12:33.480
Yeah.

1497
01:12:34.280 --> 01:12:35.349
Well...

1498
01:12:35.440 --> 01:12:37.670
As soon as I said it,
I was kind of like, um, maybe not.

1499
01:12:37.760 --> 01:12:39.716
It's like we're
three Tom Pettys,

1500
01:12:39.800 --> 01:12:41.711
and we're the
Heartbreakers, you know.

1501
01:12:41.800 --> 01:12:44.678
You're a Tom Petty,
you're a Tom Petty, and I'm Tom Petty,

1502
01:12:44.960 --> 01:12:47.428
but together we're the Heartbreakers...
We're Tom Petty.

1503
01:12:47.800 --> 01:12:49.336
Oh, right, no. Yeah.
We're the Heartbreakers.

1504
01:12:49.360 --> 01:12:50.496
- Yeah, I lost it, too.
- Yeah.

1505
01:12:50.520 --> 01:12:52.795
We know you've got to fly.
You're like a beautiful bird.

1506
01:12:52.880 --> 01:12:54.776
You've got to be out there.
You've got to see it all.

1507
01:12:54.800 --> 01:12:57.553
But we can be right there with
you as your little bird legs.

1508
01:12:57.640 --> 01:13:00.632
So you think I should
do the Pop Awards?

1509
01:13:00.720 --> 01:13:01.948
Fuck, yes.
Yeah.

1510
01:13:02.280 --> 01:13:04.271
All right, well,
I'm not going alone.

1511
01:13:06.000 --> 01:13:07.911
Who are you gonna do it with?
With you guys!

1512
01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:09.115
Do you wanna
come with me?

1513
01:13:09.320 --> 01:13:10.776
Oh, sure, I was
wondering who you were...

1514
01:13:10.800 --> 01:13:12.240
Yeah, yeah. That's tight.
Hell, yeah!

1515
01:13:12.520 --> 01:13:13.520
We're so high.
Sorry.

1516
01:13:16.800 --> 01:13:17.976
<i>And the stars
are arriving</i>

1517
01:13:18.000 --> 01:13:20.992
<i>for this year's Pop Music Awards,
the Poppies.</i>

1518
01:13:23.520 --> 01:13:25.272
Good. Let's go.
You guys are all set.

1519
01:13:25.800 --> 01:13:28.075
They know you're doing
one Style Boyz song,

1520
01:13:28.160 --> 01:13:31.152
and then we're gonna go
into Conner's new single.

1521
01:13:31.280 --> 01:13:34.556
Great. Oh, shit! Conner,
what up, though, dawg?

1522
01:13:34.680 --> 01:13:36.193
Oh, yeah,
what up, Hunter?

1523
01:13:36.280 --> 01:13:38.794
Yo, yo, yo. Say hey to
my doc real quick, baby.

1524
01:13:39.000 --> 01:13:40.911
<i>Hi.
Yeah.</i>

1525
01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:43.594
You got a doc. I got a doc.
You know what I'm saying?

1526
01:13:43.680 --> 01:13:46.638
But now, like, I'm rolling
with all these dudes

1527
01:13:46.720 --> 01:13:47.914
and with Aquaspin.

1528
01:13:48.000 --> 01:13:50.389
Like, I kind of
Single-White-Femaled your ass.

1529
01:13:50.480 --> 01:13:51.708
<i>Yeah, man, that's crazy.</i>

1530
01:13:51.800 --> 01:13:53.677
Anyway, though,
good to see you, man.

1531
01:13:53.760 --> 01:13:54.988
You looking spiffy,
you know?

1532
01:13:55.080 --> 01:13:57.548
Yo, yo, it's Hunter, dawg, about
to get crazy on the stage...

1533
01:13:57.640 --> 01:14:00.438
No, sorry, not your camera.
We're with Conner.

1534
01:14:00.520 --> 01:14:01.589
Oh, shit. My bad.

1535
01:14:01.680 --> 01:14:04.376
Yo, this is Hunter about to head into
the Poppies. You know what I'm saying?

1536
01:14:04.400 --> 01:14:05.776
No, sorry,
we're with Snoop.

1537
01:14:05.800 --> 01:14:07.233
Surprise, mothafucka.

1538
01:14:07.600 --> 01:14:10.478
You're watching my brand new show,
<i>Surprise Mothafucka</i>

1539
01:14:10.560 --> 01:14:13.518
with Snoop Dogg, and,
mothafucka, you been surprised.

1540
01:14:15.520 --> 01:14:17.954
Excuse me.
Can somebody move?

1541
01:14:22.840 --> 01:14:26.719
<i>Mariah Carey, your
hair smells and looks great.</i>

1542
01:14:26.840 --> 01:14:30.549
<i>Did you know Aquaspin has
hair dryers and flat irons?</i>

1543
01:14:30.640 --> 01:14:31.856
<i>No, I didn't.</i>

1544
01:14:31.880 --> 01:14:35.668
<i>Aquaspin appliances are completely
affordable for college students.</i>

1545
01:14:35.760 --> 01:14:37.910
<i>Honey, you're not
doing ads now. Really?</i>

1546
01:14:38.240 --> 01:14:40.696
<i>Read the damn prompter, yo.
You messing with my money right now.</i>

1547
01:14:40.720 --> 01:14:42.520
<i>What the did you
just say to me? What?</i>

1548
01:14:42.720 --> 01:14:45.757
<i>- Yo all y'all, all right?
- And everybody else,</i>

1549
01:14:45.840 --> 01:14:47.796
<i>and Mariah Carey
for leaving me up here.</i>

1550
01:14:47.920 --> 01:14:49.353
<i>Yeah, I said her. No...</i>

1551
01:14:49.480 --> 01:14:51.336
<i>Oh, you still here?
I thought you had left. Okay, sweetie...</i>

1552
01:14:51.360 --> 01:14:53.999
Style Boyz.
It's time.

1553
01:14:54.080 --> 01:14:55.736
Yo, what the fuck
was that, everybody?

1554
01:14:55.760 --> 01:14:57.796
Why you got me up there
saying that bullshit, man?

1555
01:14:57.920 --> 01:15:00.912
I told you not to say it. You're the
one that wanted to cash the check.

1556
01:15:01.080 --> 01:15:03.071
Dude, you
set me up, dude!

1557
01:15:03.240 --> 01:15:05.151
You ain't nothing
but like a fake sellout

1558
01:15:05.240 --> 01:15:07.993
money hungry pop
bullshit-ass manager.

1559
01:15:08.240 --> 01:15:10.440
You ain't nothing but a Tony!
Toni! Total reject, bitch!

1560
01:15:10.640 --> 01:15:11.914
What the fuck
you say to me?

1561
01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:13.797
Say that shit again,
young blood.

1562
01:15:14.040 --> 01:15:18.477
I will eat your head!
I will eat your fucking head!

1563
01:15:18.560 --> 01:15:20.232
You better learn
some respect.

1564
01:15:20.600 --> 01:15:24.559
Yo, all right.
Man, I'm sorry, yo. Chill.

1565
01:15:26.000 --> 01:15:27.319
Old-ass motherfucker.

1566
01:15:29.320 --> 01:15:30.673
Why you hit me
like that, dawg?

1567
01:15:30.760 --> 01:15:32.432
Get yourself
a new manager.

1568
01:15:32.600 --> 01:15:34.113
Yo, are you serious?

1569
01:15:35.360 --> 01:15:36.429
Damn, man.

1570
01:15:37.200 --> 01:15:38.758
Oh, my God.

1571
01:15:38.920 --> 01:15:40.035
That was great, Harry.

1572
01:15:40.120 --> 01:15:41.235
It was insane,
wasn't it?

1573
01:15:41.320 --> 01:15:42.355
Yeah.
Yeah.

1574
01:15:42.440 --> 01:15:45.238
I was like, "Get some respect,"
you know?

1575
01:15:45.560 --> 01:15:46.560
Wow!

1576
01:15:47.240 --> 01:15:50.516
Hey, look, Harry,
I just wanna say I'm sorry.

1577
01:15:50.600 --> 01:15:52.477
No, don't.
Don't worry about it.

1578
01:15:53.240 --> 01:15:56.198
Just get out there and have a good time.
Good luck, guys.

1579
01:15:56.520 --> 01:15:57.576
Thanks, Harry.
Thanks, Harry.

1580
01:15:57.600 --> 01:15:58.635
Yeah.

1581
01:16:02.800 --> 01:16:05.439
Okay, this is it.
You nervous?

1582
01:16:05.680 --> 01:16:07.193
Just a little bit.

1583
01:16:07.640 --> 01:16:09.551
Don't be. We got this.

1584
01:16:09.840 --> 01:16:11.896
<i>Ladies and gentlemen...</i>
All right, see you out there.

1585
01:16:11.920 --> 01:16:13.512
See you out there.

1586
01:16:13.600 --> 01:16:14.635
<i>Please take your seats.</i>

1587
01:16:14.720 --> 01:16:15.920
Oh, God, Conner,
there you are.

1588
01:16:16.000 --> 01:16:17.353
Look, the show's
going way over,

1589
01:16:17.440 --> 01:16:18.800
so you only have
three minutes now.

1590
01:16:18.920 --> 01:16:20.751
What? Yeah, you can
only do one song,

1591
01:16:20.840 --> 01:16:23.752
so I need to know are you gonna
do Conner4Real or Style Boyz?

1592
01:16:23.840 --> 01:16:24.840
Uh...

1593
01:16:27.200 --> 01:16:28.838
Yeah. No, I asked him.

1594
01:16:28.920 --> 01:16:31.195
He's just kind of, like,
looking off into space

1595
01:16:31.280 --> 01:16:33.510
and, like, really
making a meal out of this.

1596
01:16:33.600 --> 01:16:35.352
And now I'm just
standing here waiting.

1597
01:16:35.680 --> 01:16:38.433
He's looking off to, like,
contemplate whether he should,

1598
01:16:38.520 --> 01:16:42.195
I think, pick the Style Boyz, 'cause
he's, like, looking in their direction,

1599
01:16:42.280 --> 01:16:45.556
so we might be leaning
toward that kind of...

1600
01:16:45.640 --> 01:16:46.675
No, he's looking back.

1601
01:16:46.760 --> 01:16:49.558
So I'm lost. I'm not sure
which one he's gonna go for.

1602
01:16:49.640 --> 01:16:52.473
All right, I know
what I'm gonna do.

1603
01:16:52.920 --> 01:16:56.674
<i>Our final performer tonight is a
living legend and still a superstar.</i>

1604
01:16:57.520 --> 01:17:00.796
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,
the one and only Conner4Real.</i>

1605
01:17:06.360 --> 01:17:09.113
<i>Finest girl I
ever met In my whole life</i>

1606
01:17:10.360 --> 01:17:12.794
<i>Wanna take her home
Make her my wife</i>

1607
01:17:13.960 --> 01:17:16.793
<i>Knew she was a freak
When she started talking</i>

1608
01:17:17.480 --> 01:17:18.480
<i>She said</i>

1609
01:17:20.000 --> 01:17:24.391
<i>I'm a Style Boy for life</i>

1610
01:17:25.400 --> 01:17:26.400
Should we tell them?
Yeah.

1611
01:17:26.480 --> 01:17:27.629
T ell them, man.

1612
01:17:27.720 --> 01:17:29.153
We made a new
song at the farm.

1613
01:17:29.240 --> 01:17:32.949
Yeah, we found Lawrence's journals,
and they were just amazing.

1614
01:17:33.040 --> 01:17:35.349
Amazing. Just full of
incredible thoughts.

1615
01:17:35.440 --> 01:17:38.398
Just like ideas and poems and stuff.
Nothing special.

1616
01:17:38.480 --> 01:17:39.993
Yo, and then Conner
had the idea

1617
01:17:40.080 --> 01:17:42.196
to take a piano line
from my solo shit.

1618
01:17:42.280 --> 01:17:43.320
Conner put it
all together.

1619
01:17:43.400 --> 01:17:47.075
And the Poppies paired us with the
craziest special guest to perform with.

1620
01:17:47.600 --> 01:17:49.830
<i>Incredible thoughts</i>

1621
01:17:50.120 --> 01:17:52.475
<i>Incredible minds</i>

1622
01:17:52.760 --> 01:17:54.990
<i>I'm so overwhelmed</i>

1623
01:17:55.440 --> 01:17:57.954
<i>How did my
brain conceive them</i>

1624
01:17:58.040 --> 01:17:59.075
<i>Yeah</i>

1625
01:17:59.480 --> 01:18:02.153
<i>A snow white dove
in the pitch-black night</i>

1626
01:18:02.280 --> 01:18:04.714
<i>A raindrop falls
from tremendous heights</i>

1627
01:18:04.800 --> 01:18:07.473
<i>A wave crashes off
of a cliff in Scotland</i>

1628
01:18:07.560 --> 01:18:10.233
<i>A child bites an apple
but the core is rotten</i>

1629
01:18:10.320 --> 01:18:12.515
<i>TV is free
But what is the cost</i>

1630
01:18:12.600 --> 01:18:15.353
<i>We have GPS
And yet we're still lost</i>

1631
01:18:15.440 --> 01:18:18.000
<i>A carrot in the desert
A camel in the garden</i>

1632
01:18:18.080 --> 01:18:20.674
<i>A man with giant ears
Begging your pardon</i>

1633
01:18:20.800 --> 01:18:23.075
<i>What if a garbage
man was actually smart</i>

1634
01:18:23.160 --> 01:18:25.720
<i>A common misconception
That we're tearing apart</i>

1635
01:18:25.800 --> 01:18:28.234
<i>And to a dog
Dog food is just food</i>

1636
01:18:28.320 --> 01:18:31.437
<i>And to a sock A mansion's
just a big shoe</i>

1637
01:18:31.600 --> 01:18:33.955
<i>A Milk Dud
sitting in the acid rain</i>

1638
01:18:34.360 --> 01:18:36.749
<i>A house cat
addicted to the cocaine</i>

1639
01:18:36.840 --> 01:18:39.195
<i>No teeth, unlimited floss</i>

1640
01:18:39.280 --> 01:18:41.635
<i>These are just a few of
Our incredible thoughts</i>

1641
01:18:41.840 --> 01:18:42.955
<i>Incredible thoughts</i>

1642
01:18:43.040 --> 01:18:46.715
<i>Oh, man, watching the Style Boyz
together onstage again was like...</i>

1643
01:18:46.880 --> 01:18:51.749
I lived to see that. After that,
you know, take me away, I'm done.

1644
01:18:51.840 --> 01:18:54.752
Kid Contact, Kid Brain, and
Kid Conner all back together,

1645
01:18:54.840 --> 01:18:56.751
the motherfucking
Style Boyz.

1646
01:18:56.840 --> 01:18:58.956
This is just some
revolutionary shit, man.

1647
01:18:59.040 --> 01:19:00.519
My heart is
pounding right now.

1648
01:19:02.880 --> 01:19:04.836
<i>A ballerina
waits for the bus</i>

1649
01:19:05.360 --> 01:19:07.999
<i>A "number one dad"
trophy covered in rust</i>

1650
01:19:08.080 --> 01:19:10.799
<i>A nun dunked a basketball
Living the impossible</i>

1651
01:19:10.880 --> 01:19:13.678
<i>A man breaks his leg
Inside a hospital</i>

1652
01:19:13.760 --> 01:19:16.399
<i>We just thought of that
And it could change the world</i>

1653
01:19:16.520 --> 01:19:18.431
<i>We're like a smart
oyster full of pearls</i>

1654
01:19:18.520 --> 01:19:20.636
<i>Such as an ultrasound
of a new baby</i>

1655
01:19:20.760 --> 01:19:22.830
<i>With a Santa
hat drawn on, yeah</i>

1656
01:19:22.920 --> 01:19:24.319
<i>That's my kind
of Christmas card</i>

1657
01:19:24.400 --> 01:19:26.595
<i>What if a butterfly
Was made out of butter</i>

1658
01:19:26.680 --> 01:19:29.274
<i>These small thoughts
Could destroy Big Brother</i>

1659
01:19:29.360 --> 01:19:31.794
<i>The world's cutest kitten
Just hugging a dog</i>

1660
01:19:31.880 --> 01:19:34.599
<i>Just one of many of
Our incredible thoughts</i>

1661
01:19:34.680 --> 01:19:37.240
<i>What if one thought
could cure the people</i>

1662
01:19:37.320 --> 01:19:39.754
<i>What if one song
could end all evil</i>

1663
01:19:39.840 --> 01:19:42.308
<i>Imagine if a fish
could play guitar</i>

1664
01:19:42.400 --> 01:19:45.198
<i>And also sing
It would sound bizarre, like</i>

1665
01:19:45.280 --> 01:19:47.316
<i>My name is Mr. Fish</i>

1666
01:19:47.400 --> 01:19:48.435
<i>Yeah</i>

1667
01:19:48.520 --> 01:19:51.159
<i>These guys' thoughts have
granted my wish Oh, yeah</i>

1668
01:19:51.280 --> 01:19:54.192
All I wanna know, who was in that
fish costume? That was amazing.

1669
01:19:54.280 --> 01:19:57.352
The fish was me, Tyrus.

1670
01:19:57.720 --> 01:19:58.720
Shh.

1671
01:20:01.040 --> 01:20:03.429
<i>And that may have just
Changed the course of time</i>

1672
01:20:03.600 --> 01:20:06.353
<i>I swear, my mind
Blows my mind</i>

1673
01:20:06.440 --> 01:20:07.440
<i>Incredible</i>

1674
01:20:09.720 --> 01:20:11.631
<i>Let me see that Donkey Roll</i>

1675
01:20:14.720 --> 01:20:16.756
<i>Donkey Roll</i>

1676
01:20:17.840 --> 01:20:19.637
<i>Let me see that Donkey Roll</i>

1677
01:20:19.760 --> 01:20:22.149
<i>Incredible thoughts</i>

1678
01:20:22.760 --> 01:20:25.354
<i>Donkey Roll
Incredible thoughts</i>

1679
01:20:25.880 --> 01:20:27.757
<i>Let me see that Donkey Roll</i>

1680
01:20:29.480 --> 01:20:32.153
<i>Incredible thoughts
Incredible minds</i>

1681
01:20:32.320 --> 01:20:34.595
<i>Too many great ideas inside</i>

1682
01:20:34.680 --> 01:20:38.389
<i>It's a miracle my head
can contain them</i>

1683
01:20:38.760 --> 01:20:40.910
<i>My spectacular brain</i>

1684
01:20:41.080 --> 01:20:42.638
Harry!

1685
01:20:42.960 --> 01:20:45.235
<i>Changing how we think
about space and time</i>

1686
01:20:45.600 --> 01:20:48.831
<i>Now it's time to share that
with the people</i>

1687
01:20:49.280 --> 01:20:52.113
<i>My brain is a genius</i>

1688
01:20:52.240 --> 01:20:53.896
<i>When it was happening,
I was just like,</i>

1689
01:20:53.920 --> 01:20:56.753
"Yo, I cannot believe I'm
here to witness this, man."

1690
01:20:56.960 --> 01:20:59.520
<i>How did my brain
conceive them</i>

1691
01:21:07.120 --> 01:21:09.031
Yes! Yes! Fuck!

1692
01:21:09.120 --> 01:21:11.509
Whoo! Yes.

1693
01:21:11.760 --> 01:21:15.878
I just performed the Donkey
Roll with the Style Boyz.

1694
01:21:15.960 --> 01:21:17.154
I was a Style Boy.

1695
01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:20.353
<i>When
I walked out onstage,</i>

1696
01:21:20.440 --> 01:21:23.512
all I could think of was,
"I'm so happy.

1697
01:21:23.600 --> 01:21:28.037
"And I really hope that Tony! Toni! Tone!
Is watching,

1698
01:21:28.120 --> 01:21:29.473
"and that they
feel like shit."

1699
01:21:30.320 --> 01:21:33.835
<i>A wise man once said,
everyone's career is on a wave.</i>

1700
01:21:34.320 --> 01:21:35.753
<i>Sometimes, you're up.</i>

1701
01:21:36.440 --> 01:21:38.271
<i>Sometimes, you're down.</i>

1702
01:21:38.360 --> 01:21:41.830
<i>But the trick is not to lose
yourself along the way.</i>

1703
01:21:41.920 --> 01:21:44.832
<i>And when you're up,
don't be an asshole about it.</i>

1704
01:21:45.400 --> 01:21:48.153
<i>It's like my mom always says...
Yo, what the fuck?</i>

1705
01:21:48.720 --> 01:21:52.156
<i>That stage manager lady just
macked on Lawrence super hard.</i>

1706
01:21:52.320 --> 01:21:55.471
<i>Yo, do they even know each other?
Oh, my God!</i>

1707
01:21:55.560 --> 01:21:57.152
<i>And why is "Deboarrah" here?</i>

1708
01:21:57.440 --> 01:22:00.750
<i>Anyways, be cool to your friends, right?
That's what I was saying.</i>

1709
01:22:00.840 --> 01:22:03.912
<i>Yo, they are gonna fuck.
Damn, that is hilarious.</i>

1710
01:22:04.000 --> 01:22:06.514
<i>But the point is,
be a good person.</i>

1711
01:22:06.600 --> 01:22:08.352
<i>The rest will
fall into place.</i>

1712
01:22:08.440 --> 01:22:10.158
And that's Conner4Real.

1713
01:22:11.080 --> 01:22:13.310
Isn't that right,
Maximus 2?

1714
01:22:15.960 --> 01:22:17.757
It sure is, Conner.

1715
01:22:19.000 --> 01:22:20.752
What?

1716
01:22:21.760 --> 01:22:24.228
He wasn't really talking.
That was me doing the voice.

1717
01:23:15.960 --> 01:23:18.679
The Style Boyz are getting
back together again.

1718
01:23:20.400 --> 01:23:22.960
Yeah, they broke up.
Then they buried the hatchet,

1719
01:23:23.040 --> 01:23:25.554
and now I guess they're
working together again.

1720
01:23:26.560 --> 01:23:28.152
They're like friends
from childhood.

1721
01:23:28.240 --> 01:23:29.240
Yeah.
For life.

1722
01:23:29.320 --> 01:23:30.639
And they had,
like, tough times

1723
01:23:30.720 --> 01:23:33.075
and now they feel good
about being back together.

1724
01:23:33.160 --> 01:23:35.071
"We're gonna put
aside our differences."

1725
01:23:35.920 --> 01:23:37.751
They actually
do something.

1726
01:23:37.840 --> 01:23:40.354
Sometimes, I think about doing that.
Yeah.

1727
01:23:40.440 --> 01:23:42.749
I haven't talked to
my mom in three years.

1728
01:23:43.720 --> 01:23:47.030
I moved out here. I thought I could
get like a commercial agent.

1729
01:23:47.200 --> 01:23:49.236
I just wanted to be
a longboard model.

1730
01:23:49.320 --> 01:23:50.753
I never graduated
high school.

1731
01:23:51.240 --> 01:23:53.117
I never graduated
middle school.

1732
01:23:54.440 --> 01:23:55.920
It'd be a lot of
fun if the four of us

1733
01:23:55.960 --> 01:23:57.518
hung out outside
of the office.

1734
01:23:58.000 --> 01:24:01.197
Hey guys, can I ask you
something really...

1735
01:24:01.280 --> 01:24:03.077
That I've never really
asked you before?

1736
01:24:03.720 --> 01:24:04.789
Yeah.

1737
01:24:05.080 --> 01:24:07.416
Do you guys have a photograph
of James Franco leaving a Denny's?

1738
01:24:07.440 --> 01:24:08.936
Oh yeah, totally!
It's right here! Fuck, yeah!

1739
01:24:08.960 --> 01:24:10.916
Let's see it.
Put it up.

1740
01:24:11.120 --> 01:24:12.394
Bring it up.
We got it.

1741
01:24:17.880 --> 01:24:19.836
<i>Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah</i>

1742
01:24:20.360 --> 01:24:22.271
<i>Words and truth</i>

1743
01:24:23.960 --> 01:24:27.111
<i>One fine evening
on the sandy coast</i>

1744
01:24:27.200 --> 01:24:30.397
<i>The feeling was irey
'round the drum circle</i>

1745
01:24:30.480 --> 01:24:33.790
<i>When the wisest rasta
I ever saw</i>

1746
01:24:34.120 --> 01:24:37.556
<i>Gently joined us
and sang of Jah</i>

1747
01:24:37.640 --> 01:24:40.996
<i>Roots and culture
seeped from his bones</i>

1748
01:24:41.080 --> 01:24:44.629
<i>He took out a spliff and said,
"Pass this around"</i>

1749
01:24:45.000 --> 01:24:47.798
<i>So I took a righteous drag</i>

1750
01:24:47.880 --> 01:24:51.111
<i>It was the best sensi
that I ever had</i>

1751
01:24:51.200 --> 01:24:54.510
<i>And then I felt the chills
run up my back</i>

1752
01:24:54.600 --> 01:24:57.831
<i>"My good man,
tell me, what was that?"</i>

1753
01:24:58.120 --> 01:25:01.556
<i>He said, "My friend,
you just smoked crack"</i>

1754
01:25:03.320 --> 01:25:05.311
<i>"You just smoked crack"</i>

1755
01:25:07.120 --> 01:25:08.519
<i>Oh, crack</i>

1756
01:25:11.360 --> 01:25:14.557
<i>I just smoked crack
Oh, my God</i>

1757
01:25:14.640 --> 01:25:16.392
<i>And it felt fucking great</i>

1758
01:25:16.480 --> 01:25:17.879
<i>This feels amazing</i>

1759
01:25:18.200 --> 01:25:21.272
<i>Thought it was marijuana
Oh, yeah</i>

1760
01:25:21.360 --> 01:25:23.351
<i>But now it's too fucking late</i>

1761
01:25:23.440 --> 01:25:24.839
<i>I can't go back</i>

1762
01:25:24.920 --> 01:25:28.356
<i>I love crack
Holy shit</i>

1763
01:25:28.440 --> 01:25:30.431
<i>Now I am invincible</i>

1764
01:25:30.560 --> 01:25:31.560
<i>Fuck, yeah</i>

1765
01:25:31.640 --> 01:25:34.996
<i>If anyone tries
to take my crack</i>

1766
01:25:35.080 --> 01:25:37.275
<i>I'll kill them on principle</i>

1767
01:25:39.080 --> 01:25:41.548
<i>Some call crack bazooka</i>

1768
01:25:42.440 --> 01:25:44.715
<i>Others call it base</i>

1769
01:25:45.200 --> 01:25:47.998
<i>But no matter
what name you call it</i>

1770
01:25:48.480 --> 01:25:51.836
<i>It's the best invention ever
by the human race</i>

1771
01:25:52.880 --> 01:25:56.031
<i>The government
spread lies about it</i>

1772
01:25:56.360 --> 01:25:58.635
<i>They say that it is no fun</i>

1773
01:25:58.720 --> 01:26:02.395
<i>But on that plastic shell
I sucky</i>

1774
01:26:02.480 --> 01:26:05.472
<i>Sucky, sucky, sucky
till the crack is gone</i>

1775
01:26:05.560 --> 01:26:09.553
<i>Now we should legalize it</i>

1776
01:26:10.200 --> 01:26:12.919
<i>Legalize it</i>

1777
01:26:13.640 --> 01:26:16.598
<i>Set the people free</i>

1778
01:26:16.800 --> 01:26:19.553
<i>And legalize</i>

1779
01:26:19.640 --> 01:26:22.712
<i>We should legalize crack</i>

1780
01:26:23.280 --> 01:26:24.998
<i>So that I can smoke it all</i>

1780
01:26:25.305 --> 01:26:31.657
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org