WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:12.074 Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM 2 00:01:09.319 --> 00:01:10.649 Come on. Let's go. 3 00:01:11.321 --> 00:01:14.621 Wait a minute! You can't just return them. 4 00:01:17.995 --> 00:01:20.295 They said I wasn't a good fit. 5 00:01:20.747 --> 00:01:22.917 There'll be another family, Michelle. 6 00:01:35.012 --> 00:01:37.012 Oh, come on! Wait a minute! 7 00:01:39.641 --> 00:01:41.641 What's the matter with me? 8 00:01:41.685 --> 00:01:43.435 Not a thing, Michelle. 9 00:01:44.354 --> 00:01:46.694 God's children are all perfect. 10 00:01:47.399 --> 00:01:49.149 In their own way. 11 00:01:57.201 --> 00:01:59.081 Fuck you! 12 00:02:00.704 --> 00:02:02.754 Never lose hope, Michelle. 13 00:02:03.165 --> 00:02:05.545 There's a family out there for everyone. 14 00:02:05.626 --> 00:02:07.836 Come on, Agnes. Families are for suckers. 15 00:02:08.378 --> 00:02:10.838 Don't worry about me. I don't need anybody. 16 00:02:10.881 --> 00:02:12.721 I'm going straight to the top. 17 00:02:14.510 --> 00:02:16.720 Michelle. Michelle? 18 00:02:16.762 --> 00:02:18.432 Michelle! Michelle! 19 00:02:18.514 --> 00:02:19.644 - Michelle! - Michelle? 20 00:02:19.723 --> 00:02:23.483 She's the CEO of three Fortune 500 companies 21 00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:28.060 and the best-selling financial author of Money Talks, Bullshit Walks. 22 00:02:28.148 --> 00:02:31.228 The one, the only, Michelle Darnell! 23 00:02:32.569 --> 00:02:35.699 Who wants to make some money? 24 00:02:37.741 --> 00:02:40.741 I can't hear you, Chicago! 25 00:02:46.834 --> 00:02:47.964 Get those hands up! 26 00:02:54.383 --> 00:02:56.473 Come on! There we go! 27 00:02:57.469 --> 00:02:59.549 MD going in on the verse 'Cause I never been defeated 28 00:02:59.596 --> 00:03:00.636 And I won't stop now 29 00:03:00.722 --> 00:03:01.812 Keep your hands up, put 'em in the sky 30 00:03:01.890 --> 00:03:03.810 For the homies didn't make it and my folks locked down 31 00:03:03.892 --> 00:03:05.602 I never went nowhere 32 00:03:05.686 --> 00:03:08.686 They're saying 'Chelle's back Blame it on the conjure 33 00:03:08.772 --> 00:03:10.322 They call it M.D.-ac 34 00:03:10.399 --> 00:03:12.069 Can't never count me out 35 00:03:12.109 --> 00:03:13.439 Y'all better count me in 36 00:03:13.527 --> 00:03:16.647 Got twenty bank accounts Accountants count me in 37 00:03:16.738 --> 00:03:18.278 Make millions every year 38 00:03:18.323 --> 00:03:19.953 The Chi's champion 39 00:03:20.033 --> 00:03:21.993 'Cause all I do is... 40 00:03:22.244 --> 00:03:24.084 Give it up for T-Pain! 41 00:03:24.121 --> 00:03:26.621 All I do is win, win, win no matter what Got money on my mind 42 00:03:26.707 --> 00:03:28.117 I can never get enough 43 00:03:28.208 --> 00:03:31.248 And every time I step up in the building 44 00:03:31.295 --> 00:03:33.305 Everybody hands go up 45 00:03:34.715 --> 00:03:35.845 And they stay there 46 00:03:35.924 --> 00:03:37.724 And they say yeah 47 00:03:37.801 --> 00:03:39.091 And they stay there 48 00:03:39.136 --> 00:03:41.346 Up down, up down, up down 49 00:03:41.430 --> 00:03:44.390 'Cause all I do is win, win, win 50 00:03:44.474 --> 00:03:48.404 And if you goin' in put your hands in the air Make them stay there 51 00:03:59.531 --> 00:04:01.491 Thank you, Chicago! 52 00:04:02.784 --> 00:04:04.624 Thank you. All right. 53 00:04:04.703 --> 00:04:05.753 I love you! 54 00:04:05.829 --> 00:04:07.539 Thank you. I love you, too. 55 00:04:07.623 --> 00:04:09.293 My name is Michelle Darnell 56 00:04:09.333 --> 00:04:12.383 and I am the 47th wealthiest woman in America. 57 00:04:14.755 --> 00:04:16.135 How wealthy am I? 58 00:04:16.173 --> 00:04:19.593 I had Destiny's Child reunite 59 00:04:20.344 --> 00:04:23.684 only to have them come over to my personal living room 60 00:04:23.764 --> 00:04:25.854 so I could watch them break apart again. 61 00:04:26.016 --> 00:04:27.016 Huh? 62 00:04:28.185 --> 00:04:31.525 How did I get to my success level? What's my secret? 63 00:04:31.939 --> 00:04:33.769 I worked myself silly. 64 00:04:34.650 --> 00:04:36.360 Okay, number one. 65 00:04:36.443 --> 00:04:38.703 You work your ass off to get what you want. 66 00:04:38.737 --> 00:04:43.237 Number two. You do not let other people drag you down. 67 00:04:43.325 --> 00:04:44.705 'Cause they will. 68 00:04:46.745 --> 00:04:51.205 They are an anchor in your life that you do not want. 69 00:04:51.250 --> 00:04:54.380 Cut 'em loose and sail off. 70 00:04:54.461 --> 00:04:56.251 If you work this program... 71 00:04:56.338 --> 00:04:59.378 You. Will. Get. Rich. 72 00:05:01.510 --> 00:05:04.220 And I'm not talking about chump change. 73 00:05:04.304 --> 00:05:08.224 And I'm not talking about some loose dollar bills at the bottom of your purse. 74 00:05:08.308 --> 00:05:11.138 I'm talking about real fucking money! 75 00:05:11.228 --> 00:05:13.478 Life-changing money! 76 00:05:15.107 --> 00:05:17.937 Real fucking money! Real fucking money! 77 00:05:18.026 --> 00:05:19.396 That's how you do it. 78 00:05:21.697 --> 00:05:23.527 Now let's go make some money! 79 00:05:55.606 --> 00:05:57.356 Thank you, Tito. What a night! 80 00:05:57.441 --> 00:05:59.611 That's right, MD. 81 00:05:59.693 --> 00:06:00.743 Yeah. 82 00:06:01.570 --> 00:06:04.450 I'm amazed that the United Center is even still standing 83 00:06:04.531 --> 00:06:06.071 because I crushed it tonight. 84 00:06:06.116 --> 00:06:07.486 You crushed it like velvet. 85 00:06:07.576 --> 00:06:10.446 Like velvet! Send T-Pain some "thank you" flowers. 86 00:06:10.537 --> 00:06:11.537 - Okay? - Okay. 87 00:06:11.622 --> 00:06:13.792 Look into getting more fire power to that bird. 88 00:06:13.874 --> 00:06:15.504 Absolutely. More power. 89 00:06:15.584 --> 00:06:17.794 No. The fire marshal almost shut us down 90 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:19.500 based on the pyrotechnics we used tonight. 91 00:06:19.588 --> 00:06:20.628 I don't think that's an option. 92 00:06:20.714 --> 00:06:22.724 Let's hire a new fire marshal. 93 00:06:22.799 --> 00:06:25.089 I don't think you can hire a fire marshal. 94 00:06:25.177 --> 00:06:27.007 I think it's a city-appointed position, 95 00:06:27.095 --> 00:06:28.135 but I'll look into it. 96 00:06:28.514 --> 00:06:31.144 All she does is win, Claire. Toot-toot! 97 00:06:31.183 --> 00:06:33.943 I got this, Tito. Okay? You can sit this one out. 98 00:06:35.145 --> 00:06:36.145 Claire? 99 00:06:36.188 --> 00:06:37.898 Oh, teeth whitening. Sorry. Sorry, yes. 100 00:06:37.981 --> 00:06:39.361 - My God. - Sorry. 101 00:06:39.942 --> 00:06:43.702 - Hmm. - I have to remind you. That seems... 102 00:06:44.154 --> 00:06:46.914 That seems like a little the opposite, right? 103 00:06:46.990 --> 00:06:47.990 Yeah. 104 00:06:48.700 --> 00:06:50.660 Okay. Yeah, I think if you keep your... 105 00:06:50.702 --> 00:06:53.412 You need to keep your tongue inside your mouth for this to work. 106 00:06:53.497 --> 00:06:57.247 Last week you very specifically said, "Keep tongue out." 107 00:06:57.334 --> 00:06:59.004 - No. - You did say that, Claire. 108 00:06:59.044 --> 00:07:01.134 I said, "Get your tongue out of the picture." 109 00:07:01.171 --> 00:07:02.591 She's got to breathe, Claire. 110 00:07:02.673 --> 00:07:04.473 Somebody must be hungry. 111 00:07:04.508 --> 00:07:07.338 Somebody gets very crabby when she's hungry. 112 00:07:07.678 --> 00:07:09.178 You're a little hangry, Claire. 113 00:07:09.263 --> 00:07:10.683 I'm not hangry, Tito. 114 00:07:10.806 --> 00:07:13.136 Hungry and angry. You hangry, Claire. 115 00:07:13.183 --> 00:07:14.733 Sixty seconds of no talking. 116 00:07:14.810 --> 00:07:16.190 'Cause this has to set for 60 seconds. 117 00:07:16.311 --> 00:07:17.691 I've been waiting. I mean, I'm in here. 118 00:07:17.729 --> 00:07:19.269 You're the only one that's talking, Claire. 119 00:07:19.356 --> 00:07:21.686 You're the only one talking. It's hilarious. 120 00:07:21.733 --> 00:07:26.863 It's like that classic comedy gag, "He's on my baseball." 121 00:07:26.905 --> 00:07:28.195 Who's on my baseball? 122 00:07:28.323 --> 00:07:29.623 Who's on my baseball? 123 00:07:30.033 --> 00:07:31.913 Uh, who's on my baseball? 124 00:07:32.369 --> 00:07:34.249 - Oh, no it's... - Who's on my baseball? 125 00:07:34.329 --> 00:07:37.999 I think it's, "Who's on first. What's on second? I Don't Know is on third." 126 00:07:38.041 --> 00:07:39.041 Right? 127 00:07:39.877 --> 00:07:42.377 - I don't think that's... - Uh, no. 128 00:07:43.046 --> 00:07:45.376 I think you're on my baseball. 129 00:07:45.424 --> 00:07:47.134 - Who's on my baseball? - First base. 130 00:07:49.761 --> 00:07:51.891 What's on my baseball? 131 00:07:51.930 --> 00:07:53.260 Baseball 132 00:07:53.348 --> 00:07:55.728 Great. So, since I have you for a second, 133 00:07:55.767 --> 00:07:59.307 you told me to remind you exactly a year ago today 134 00:07:59.396 --> 00:08:03.066 that it's been three years since my last pay increase. 135 00:08:03.108 --> 00:08:04.608 I don't think that's true. 136 00:08:04.693 --> 00:08:06.403 That doesn't ring... 137 00:08:06.445 --> 00:08:08.075 Does that seem accurate to you? 138 00:08:08.447 --> 00:08:10.197 That sounds false. 139 00:08:10.824 --> 00:08:12.584 But you crushed it tonight! 140 00:08:12.618 --> 00:08:15.288 It's not false, Tito. It's entirely accurate. 141 00:08:15.370 --> 00:08:17.620 And I wrote down what you said. 142 00:08:17.706 --> 00:08:20.496 Oh, Claire, I don't know why you always have to quote. 143 00:08:20.584 --> 00:08:22.924 "Claire, exactly one year from today 144 00:08:23.003 --> 00:08:25.423 "I'm going to give you a raise so big 145 00:08:25.506 --> 00:08:28.466 "you'll cream your jeans and shat your chaps." 146 00:08:28.550 --> 00:08:32.390 Claire. That is wildly inappropriate. 147 00:08:32.721 --> 00:08:34.431 - Wildly. - Lowbrow, Claire. 148 00:08:34.473 --> 00:08:36.933 I run your entire organization, Michelle. 149 00:08:37.184 --> 00:08:38.234 I do a great job. 150 00:08:38.268 --> 00:08:40.598 I made myself available for you 24 hours a day 151 00:08:40.646 --> 00:08:43.146 while being a single mom, I might add. 152 00:08:43.232 --> 00:08:45.732 I deserve a raise and a title change. 153 00:08:45.776 --> 00:08:47.356 I'd like "Executive Assistant." 154 00:08:48.487 --> 00:08:51.867 Now that surprises me, 'cause I did not know that you had a child. 155 00:08:52.616 --> 00:08:55.286 Was that through... Was that through intercourse? 156 00:08:55.536 --> 00:08:56.576 Yes. 157 00:08:56.620 --> 00:08:57.950 You know what? Good for you. 158 00:08:58.747 --> 00:09:01.077 Michelle, if you can't give me a raise, 159 00:09:01.124 --> 00:09:02.634 I can't continue to work here. 160 00:09:05.754 --> 00:09:08.554 Well, look who finally showed up to my seminar. 161 00:09:09.466 --> 00:09:11.886 'Bout time, Claire. I love it. 162 00:09:11.969 --> 00:09:13.799 I didn't know if you were listening all these years. 163 00:09:13.887 --> 00:09:14.967 What am I always saying? 164 00:09:15.097 --> 00:09:16.257 "Don't go in that room." 165 00:09:16.306 --> 00:09:18.926 True. I do say that. But I also say, 166 00:09:19.184 --> 00:09:21.984 "If you want something, you gotta take it." 167 00:09:22.020 --> 00:09:24.060 Claire, you just took it. 168 00:09:24.147 --> 00:09:25.977 And you grew a pair in the process. 169 00:09:26.066 --> 00:09:27.436 I'm holding your earrings. 170 00:09:27.484 --> 00:09:29.654 You're holding a pair of earrings 171 00:09:29.945 --> 00:09:33.205 that in 2001, I paid $62,000 for. 172 00:09:33.991 --> 00:09:36.621 And that's your raise, now. That's a good raise. 173 00:09:36.660 --> 00:09:37.790 And you earned it. 174 00:09:38.161 --> 00:09:39.201 Thank you. 175 00:09:39.288 --> 00:09:41.618 Congratulations on your balls, Claire. 176 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:44.670 Isn't Tito the greatest? 177 00:09:44.751 --> 00:09:46.091 I love Tito. 178 00:09:46.378 --> 00:09:47.588 What are you doing up here? 179 00:09:47.671 --> 00:09:50.341 Miss Darnell, this just came for you. They said it was urgent. 180 00:09:55.053 --> 00:09:56.183 Oh, it's ringing. 181 00:09:59.892 --> 00:10:00.892 Oh, boy. 182 00:10:01.727 --> 00:10:03.017 Go for Darnell. 183 00:10:03.604 --> 00:10:05.904 I will not be ignored. 184 00:10:06.148 --> 00:10:07.148 Ah. 185 00:10:07.649 --> 00:10:09.529 Hi there, Ronald. 186 00:10:10.152 --> 00:10:11.282 It's "Renault." 187 00:10:11.737 --> 00:10:14.607 Why are you muscling in on my Takoro deal? 188 00:10:15.490 --> 00:10:17.200 You know what? A little birdie told me 189 00:10:17.284 --> 00:10:20.044 that Takoro was merging with Samson International. 190 00:10:20.078 --> 00:10:22.078 So I acquired the majority of the stock. 191 00:10:22.164 --> 00:10:24.674 That's called insider trading, Michelle. 192 00:10:24.708 --> 00:10:26.538 Which makes you a criminal. 193 00:10:26.627 --> 00:10:29.047 You're going to be sorry you ever dishonored me. 194 00:10:29.087 --> 00:10:31.717 God, for the last time, you're not a samurai, Ronald. 195 00:10:31.798 --> 00:10:32.798 It's "Renault"! 196 00:10:32.883 --> 00:10:36.143 No, it's not. It's "Ron," and you're from Jersey. 197 00:10:42.434 --> 00:10:45.154 Phil. Take off that ridiculous top. 198 00:10:45.354 --> 00:10:46.984 You should never cover that up. 199 00:10:47.064 --> 00:10:48.114 Okay. 200 00:10:48.690 --> 00:10:51.150 Please don't forget you have an interview first thing Monday. 201 00:10:51.235 --> 00:10:52.325 We'll see. 202 00:10:53.195 --> 00:10:55.075 Let me just... Let me just help you out there. 203 00:11:01.453 --> 00:11:03.253 You'll regret this, Michelle! 204 00:11:08.252 --> 00:11:10.002 Get me the SEC. 205 00:11:10.087 --> 00:11:11.087 Okay. 206 00:11:11.797 --> 00:11:15.427 We are back with the one and only, Michelle Darnell. 207 00:11:15.467 --> 00:11:17.717 Let's talk about your relationship with your mentor, 208 00:11:17.761 --> 00:11:20.101 that mega mogul, Ida Marquette. 209 00:11:20.681 --> 00:11:23.391 Well, Gayle, we've got a terrific relationship. 210 00:11:23.433 --> 00:11:25.103 Really? I'm so surprised to hear that, 211 00:11:25.143 --> 00:11:28.523 only because we came across this tape the other day. Take a look. 212 00:11:28.647 --> 00:11:30.857 - Oh. - I was Michelle's mentor. 213 00:11:30.941 --> 00:11:32.611 It's so hard to describe her. 214 00:11:32.693 --> 00:11:36.743 She's a business woman, a visionary, a leader, 215 00:11:36.780 --> 00:11:39.320 a natural born cocksucker, a motherfucker, 216 00:11:39.408 --> 00:11:41.618 an ass-wipe, a shit stain, 217 00:11:41.660 --> 00:11:45.460 and sewer rat, fuck-face, professional. 218 00:11:47.040 --> 00:11:48.630 Doesn't sound so chummy. 219 00:11:48.750 --> 00:11:51.630 Oh, I think a couple of those beeps were actually compliments. 220 00:11:51.670 --> 00:11:53.250 That's one way to look at it. 221 00:11:53.297 --> 00:11:54.957 Michelle, I want to talk about you. 222 00:11:55.048 --> 00:11:58.008 That you were, basically, abandoned as a child, 223 00:11:58.093 --> 00:12:00.643 bounced around from foster home to foster home, 224 00:12:00.721 --> 00:12:03.601 and that, really, you were raised in an orphanage. 225 00:12:03.640 --> 00:12:04.930 No, no, no. 226 00:12:04.975 --> 00:12:10.315 I was lucky enough to attend a beautiful, lovely elite boarding school, 227 00:12:10.397 --> 00:12:12.977 very much like Hogwarts, to give you a visual. 228 00:12:13.066 --> 00:12:16.436 And almost as magical. I feel very lucky. 229 00:12:21.700 --> 00:12:22.990 Where'd you get that? 230 00:12:23.035 --> 00:12:24.665 We've got a really good research team, 231 00:12:24.703 --> 00:12:26.583 and when I look at that picture, I don't think "elite." 232 00:12:26.663 --> 00:12:28.333 Can we talk about this for a second? 233 00:12:29.541 --> 00:12:31.631 - This interview is over. - Where are you going? 234 00:12:31.668 --> 00:12:33.208 I was not trying to upset you, Michelle. 235 00:12:33.295 --> 00:12:34.755 - Why are you leaving? - You know what, Gayle? 236 00:12:34.838 --> 00:12:37.668 Nobody spells "Gayle" with a "Y." It's pretentious. 237 00:12:38.050 --> 00:12:39.550 You've got a great story to tell. 238 00:12:39.635 --> 00:12:40.975 Keeping the mic! 239 00:12:41.887 --> 00:12:44.507 Gayle King ambushed me. You get that segment pulled before it airs. 240 00:12:44.598 --> 00:12:45.678 Miss Darnell, you're under arrest 241 00:12:45.766 --> 00:12:48.176 for insider trading and defrauding the Securities Exchange Commission. 242 00:12:49.061 --> 00:12:50.231 Are you kidding me? 243 00:12:50.312 --> 00:12:51.522 Would I kid you? 244 00:12:51.563 --> 00:12:53.023 - Claire, call my lawyer. - Okay. 245 00:12:53.106 --> 00:12:54.186 Stay back. 246 00:12:54.233 --> 00:12:56.193 What do you make a year? I'll double it. 247 00:12:56.276 --> 00:12:57.486 Did you just try to bribe me? 248 00:12:57.528 --> 00:12:59.948 No. I mean, unless you're tempted... 249 00:13:00.697 --> 00:13:02.407 Hey! This is... 250 00:13:02.491 --> 00:13:04.741 This is not reasonable. Claire! 251 00:13:04.826 --> 00:13:06.156 - Don't fight it, Michelle! - Let me go! 252 00:13:06.578 --> 00:13:07.868 Ooh. Don't struggle, baby! 253 00:13:09.831 --> 00:13:11.121 Renault ratted me out! 254 00:13:11.208 --> 00:13:14.168 It's just insider trading! Everybody does it! 255 00:13:14.211 --> 00:13:16.051 You are fighting with the wrong redhead! 256 00:13:18.632 --> 00:13:20.382 Yeah. I'm out. 257 00:13:20.425 --> 00:13:22.965 I'mma get my job back at Best Buy. Boom! 258 00:13:23.762 --> 00:13:25.182 God, you're the worst. 259 00:13:25.639 --> 00:13:26.679 In breaking news... 260 00:13:27.015 --> 00:13:30.225 Michelle Darnell was sentenced to five months in federal prison 261 00:13:30.310 --> 00:13:31.730 for insider trading. 262 00:13:31.770 --> 00:13:33.900 Currently, Darnell Enterprise stocks... 263 00:13:33.981 --> 00:13:36.231 I told you you'd regret it. 264 00:13:36.316 --> 00:13:38.606 You can really hold onto a grudge. 265 00:13:38.694 --> 00:13:40.404 I can't believe you two used to date. 266 00:13:40.445 --> 00:13:41.735 Ah. It was the Go-Go Nineties. 267 00:13:41.822 --> 00:13:44.032 She was my yin, I was her yang. 268 00:13:44.408 --> 00:13:48.748 Our bodies were intertwined, but our spirits were in constant opposition. 269 00:13:48.829 --> 00:13:49.909 Dynamic. 270 00:13:55.752 --> 00:13:56.842 I got this promotion locked! 271 00:13:56.962 --> 00:13:58.092 Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 272 00:13:58.172 --> 00:13:59.422 Don't worry. Once I become senior VP, 273 00:13:59.506 --> 00:14:00.876 nothing's gonna change between us. 274 00:14:00.924 --> 00:14:03.894 It better not. You look so fucking rad when you do coke. 275 00:14:04.636 --> 00:14:06.716 Hey, guys! Guys! 276 00:14:06.763 --> 00:14:07.893 What? 277 00:14:07.931 --> 00:14:09.851 They're about to announce who gets the promotion. 278 00:14:09.933 --> 00:14:11.103 Pretty exciting, huh? 279 00:14:11.143 --> 00:14:12.563 Fuck off, Bryce! 280 00:14:13.103 --> 00:14:14.773 All right, listen up, everybody. 281 00:14:14.813 --> 00:14:16.113 I'd like you all to join me 282 00:14:16.190 --> 00:14:21.610 in offering a hearty congratulations to our newest senior VP. 283 00:14:22.529 --> 00:14:24.029 Michelle Darnell! 284 00:14:24.781 --> 00:14:25.911 Oh, my... 285 00:14:25.949 --> 00:14:27.579 - What? - Oh, my God. 286 00:14:29.203 --> 00:14:30.333 I totally... 287 00:14:30.704 --> 00:14:32.754 Fuck off if you think that you can take 288 00:14:32.789 --> 00:14:34.459 my client list and I wasn't gonna notice. 289 00:14:34.499 --> 00:14:35.539 You bitch. 290 00:14:35.626 --> 00:14:38.416 Oh, thank you! That's so supportive, Ron. 291 00:14:38.462 --> 00:14:40.212 I couldn't have done it without you. 292 00:14:40.631 --> 00:14:42.131 Ron! Coffee! 293 00:14:42.174 --> 00:14:44.934 "Ron" is gone. 294 00:14:47.137 --> 00:14:48.387 End of broadcast. 295 00:14:52.100 --> 00:14:53.310 It's bullshit, Marty. 296 00:14:53.393 --> 00:14:55.853 I take one little tip from an insider 297 00:14:55.938 --> 00:14:58.268 and I find myself in an absolute hellhole. 298 00:14:58.315 --> 00:15:01.655 I mean, look at me, fighting for my life in the yard. 299 00:15:01.735 --> 00:15:03.185 Well, the news gets worse. 300 00:15:03.278 --> 00:15:05.658 - All your accounts have been frozen. - What? 301 00:15:05.948 --> 00:15:07.988 Your shareholders have all sold off. 302 00:15:08.075 --> 00:15:11.955 Renault is orchestrating a hostile takeover of your entire holding company. 303 00:15:11.995 --> 00:15:13.955 - No. - Darnell Enterprises is bankrupt. 304 00:15:13.997 --> 00:15:16.667 - Can he do that? - Turn off the machine, Don. 305 00:15:16.708 --> 00:15:17.918 No, he cannot. 306 00:15:18.001 --> 00:15:20.671 Yes, he can. He actually did it beautifully. 307 00:15:26.009 --> 00:15:27.839 That's my Adam's apple, you bitch! 308 00:15:27.928 --> 00:15:29.798 Claire, get me a new lawyer. 309 00:15:29.847 --> 00:15:30.887 There's not gonna be another lawyer 310 00:15:30.973 --> 00:15:32.103 if you don't have any money, 311 00:15:32.182 --> 00:15:33.482 you stupid ginger! 312 00:15:34.268 --> 00:15:36.978 You know what? I'm a ginger, but I'm a natural redhead. 313 00:15:37.020 --> 00:15:38.520 Not that you're ever gonna find out. 314 00:15:38.605 --> 00:15:41.265 Because you will never be invited into my basement. 315 00:15:41.358 --> 00:15:43.028 I don't wanna see your basement! 316 00:15:43.110 --> 00:15:44.110 Yes, you do! 317 00:15:44.194 --> 00:15:46.034 And by the way, Claire works for me. 318 00:15:46.113 --> 00:15:47.203 Actually, Michelle, 319 00:15:47.698 --> 00:15:50.198 I can't work for you anymore. I got a new job. 320 00:15:50.284 --> 00:15:52.044 I just came to tell you as a courtesy. 321 00:15:52.411 --> 00:15:54.201 I would think a courtesy would be 322 00:15:54.288 --> 00:15:56.538 you sticking with me through my tough times, Claire. 323 00:15:56.623 --> 00:15:58.713 I would. You know I have a kid to think about, so... 324 00:15:58.792 --> 00:16:00.172 You have a kid? 325 00:16:01.545 --> 00:16:04.015 I can't tell if you're joking because I did tell you 326 00:16:04.047 --> 00:16:06.047 - that I do have a kid. And I... - I am. 327 00:16:06.091 --> 00:16:07.091 - Remember? - Yes. 328 00:16:07.176 --> 00:16:09.546 - You do? - I am. I'm joking. I gotcha. 329 00:16:09.636 --> 00:16:10.886 - Okay. - Zinger. 330 00:16:14.141 --> 00:16:17.391 Hello, gal. I wasn't into you but I was flattered. 331 00:16:18.270 --> 00:16:21.560 Okay, here we go. Tom, do you mind grabbing that bag for me? 332 00:16:22.232 --> 00:16:23.982 Kimberly, I thought you had today off. 333 00:16:24.067 --> 00:16:25.107 Yeah, I knew you were leaving. 334 00:16:25.194 --> 00:16:26.404 You're sweet, Kimberly. 335 00:16:26.486 --> 00:16:28.146 Now, you're gonna remember what I told you? 336 00:16:28.238 --> 00:16:29.238 - Yes. - Okay? 337 00:16:29.281 --> 00:16:30.701 Stocks are gonna go up and down. 338 00:16:30.741 --> 00:16:32.451 The big money's in the long game. 339 00:16:32.534 --> 00:16:34.914 - Thank you so much, Michelle. - Thank you, Tom. You're so sweet. 340 00:16:35.913 --> 00:16:37.413 We're actually gonna miss you around here. 341 00:16:37.497 --> 00:16:40.247 Well, I would hope so! It sounds right to me. 342 00:16:40.334 --> 00:16:42.504 All right, give me my freedom. 343 00:16:49.843 --> 00:16:52.433 Yep, the air is sweeter out here. 344 00:16:54.097 --> 00:16:56.637 Did you set up a ride? 345 00:16:56.725 --> 00:16:59.845 No, I was assuming that a town car or something would be provided. 346 00:16:59.937 --> 00:17:01.557 Lock it up, Danny. 347 00:17:02.773 --> 00:17:04.943 You know, she thought a town car was coming! 348 00:17:05.901 --> 00:17:07.571 Well, could you call a cab? 349 00:17:10.572 --> 00:17:11.782 I'll get one myself. 350 00:17:16.537 --> 00:17:20.167 Okay, this is my house right up here. This is good. 351 00:18:14.428 --> 00:18:15.638 Oh, come on! 352 00:18:17.598 --> 00:18:18.598 Hey! 353 00:18:19.099 --> 00:18:21.429 Can you please stop ringing the door? 354 00:18:21.518 --> 00:18:24.228 Hi. Does Claire Rawlings live here? 355 00:18:24.313 --> 00:18:25.363 I don't know. 356 00:18:25.981 --> 00:18:28.071 You don't know because you're not very bright, or... 357 00:18:28.358 --> 00:18:31.488 I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. 358 00:18:31.695 --> 00:18:33.605 You know what? Are you Claire's daughter? 359 00:18:33.697 --> 00:18:35.487 I thought you were in jail. 360 00:18:36.325 --> 00:18:40.505 Aren't you charming for yelling that out on the street like that. 361 00:18:41.330 --> 00:18:42.540 May I? 362 00:18:42.623 --> 00:18:43.713 No way. 363 00:18:44.166 --> 00:18:45.376 Why not? 364 00:18:45.459 --> 00:18:48.379 Because Mom's at work and you're fresh out of prison. 365 00:18:49.379 --> 00:18:52.049 Okay, white-collar crime doesn't count! 366 00:18:52.132 --> 00:18:53.512 Yes, it does! 367 00:18:53.550 --> 00:18:55.720 No, it does not. It does not. 368 00:19:06.980 --> 00:19:08.150 - Hi. - Hi. 369 00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:11.570 Whoa. 370 00:19:11.818 --> 00:19:13.988 Claire. Wow. 371 00:19:14.196 --> 00:19:15.196 Hi, Dana. 372 00:19:15.239 --> 00:19:18.279 My goodness, you are so late. 373 00:19:18.367 --> 00:19:19.367 I am? 374 00:19:20.077 --> 00:19:22.657 You're right. You're absolutely right, Dana. 375 00:19:22.746 --> 00:19:24.456 I'm three minutes late. 376 00:19:24.540 --> 00:19:27.250 Hey, do you work at the excuse factory? 377 00:19:27.918 --> 00:19:30.418 I wasn't making an excuse. I was just agreeing that I was a little... 378 00:19:30.504 --> 00:19:31.924 Well, I think that you're saying 379 00:19:31.964 --> 00:19:34.094 this is an excuse factory, right? 380 00:19:34.132 --> 00:19:35.592 Hey! Yo, Dana! Hey, hey, hey. 381 00:19:35.634 --> 00:19:37.224 So, hey, I wanted to tell you. 382 00:19:37.261 --> 00:19:39.141 There is a bunch of people gathered in the break room... 383 00:19:39.221 --> 00:19:40.221 What, why? 384 00:19:40.264 --> 00:19:42.024 ...just raving about your fourth-quarter review. 385 00:19:42.099 --> 00:19:43.309 Who is? What? 386 00:19:43.600 --> 00:19:44.770 That's why I was late. 387 00:19:44.810 --> 00:19:48.610 Because we were all up there, you know, trading our favorite Dana stories. 388 00:19:48.689 --> 00:19:50.479 So it was... It's positive... 389 00:19:50.566 --> 00:19:51.936 It's good buzz? There's a lot of good buzz? 390 00:19:52.025 --> 00:19:53.775 Buzzworthy. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, they're raving. 391 00:19:53.819 --> 00:19:55.949 - I have to go get coffee. - Yeah, you do. 392 00:19:56.446 --> 00:19:58.106 She's a nightmare. She's a tool. 393 00:19:58.198 --> 00:19:59.618 She's so many things. 394 00:19:59.658 --> 00:20:01.618 She is definitely a lot of things. 395 00:20:01.702 --> 00:20:02.912 Uh... 396 00:20:03.328 --> 00:20:05.578 Look at this, look at this! We have so much in common, me and you. 397 00:20:05.622 --> 00:20:06.962 We have a good banter here, right? 398 00:20:07.040 --> 00:20:08.040 A little back and forth. 399 00:20:08.125 --> 00:20:09.585 I think maybe we should 400 00:20:09.626 --> 00:20:11.536 try and keep this little banter wagon going, right? 401 00:20:11.628 --> 00:20:12.798 Maybe we can go hang out... 402 00:20:12.838 --> 00:20:16.338 We can dish about the boss, and gossip about stuff and... 403 00:20:16.884 --> 00:20:18.764 You know, probably do it over dinner or something, 404 00:20:18.802 --> 00:20:20.802 'cause all that dishing can be exhausting. 405 00:20:20.888 --> 00:20:22.348 Work up an appetite. 406 00:20:22.431 --> 00:20:25.311 Yeah, well, I'm... First of all, I'm flattered. 407 00:20:25.726 --> 00:20:26.976 It's a little complicated for me. 408 00:20:27.060 --> 00:20:30.060 I'm a single mom and I really try to, you know, 409 00:20:30.147 --> 00:20:32.147 devote a ton of energy to my kid, 410 00:20:32.191 --> 00:20:33.321 and see her as much as possible. 411 00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:36.400 I just don't think that it's a good time. 412 00:20:36.486 --> 00:20:38.026 Yeah, cool. 413 00:20:38.113 --> 00:20:39.663 I was hoping you would say that 414 00:20:39.698 --> 00:20:41.828 because I love rejection, so... 415 00:20:42.242 --> 00:20:43.412 - Cool. - Cool. 416 00:20:43.493 --> 00:20:44.543 Sorry. 417 00:20:59.801 --> 00:21:01.681 Michelle. 418 00:21:05.557 --> 00:21:06.597 Michelle. 419 00:21:09.269 --> 00:21:11.229 - Hello. - Hi! 420 00:21:12.356 --> 00:21:14.016 Hi. Hello, Claire. 421 00:21:14.441 --> 00:21:15.531 Surprise! 422 00:21:15.609 --> 00:21:17.189 What are you doing here? 423 00:21:17.361 --> 00:21:20.321 Oh, well, I had stopped at our old office 424 00:21:20.864 --> 00:21:23.034 and the security gentlemen did mention 425 00:21:23.116 --> 00:21:26.366 that you were now the curator of my estate. 426 00:21:26.453 --> 00:21:30.003 So, I just thought I should pop over 427 00:21:30.040 --> 00:21:31.830 and maybe pick up my things. 428 00:21:32.709 --> 00:21:35.749 Okay, I guess you wanna come up and grab it. 429 00:21:35.838 --> 00:21:37.878 - Yes, absolutely. - Do you need... 430 00:21:38.549 --> 00:21:40.879 If you'd like, you can grab that trunk. 431 00:21:40.968 --> 00:21:41.968 Oh, no. 432 00:21:47.808 --> 00:21:49.268 Well, this is just... 433 00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:51.519 This is... 434 00:21:52.521 --> 00:21:53.771 This can't be all of it. 435 00:21:53.856 --> 00:21:55.686 I mean, this isn't all of it. This is... 436 00:21:56.483 --> 00:21:58.073 Where are my things? 437 00:21:58.569 --> 00:22:02.319 My paintings, or, I mean, my Degas, my rugs, my... 438 00:22:02.823 --> 00:22:05.583 - Where are my things? - I'm really sorry, Michelle. 439 00:22:05.617 --> 00:22:07.367 They seized everything. 440 00:22:07.411 --> 00:22:08.701 This is what's left. 441 00:22:18.255 --> 00:22:20.925 Martha Stewart got everything back. 442 00:22:21.008 --> 00:22:23.588 I mean, they rallied around her. They loved her more. 443 00:22:23.677 --> 00:22:27.427 Well, Michelle, know that Rachel and I are rooting for you, 444 00:22:27.514 --> 00:22:30.564 and, if you need us, you can always call 445 00:22:30.684 --> 00:22:33.734 or send a letter here, or just a quick text. 446 00:22:34.104 --> 00:22:35.774 Um, do you want me to help you out with this? 447 00:22:37.399 --> 00:22:40.149 If she doesn't have anywhere to go, she should stay here. 448 00:22:40.235 --> 00:22:43.775 Honey, she knows plenty of people. She has plenty of places to stay. 449 00:22:44.323 --> 00:22:46.493 Tito won't return any of my calls. 450 00:22:47.034 --> 00:22:48.454 My sweet Tito. 451 00:22:49.369 --> 00:22:50.909 Fucking Tito. 452 00:22:52.247 --> 00:22:54.617 Mom, we can't let her sleep on the street. 453 00:22:54.958 --> 00:22:56.918 Do you really not have anywhere to go? 454 00:22:57.419 --> 00:22:58.999 No. I don't. 455 00:22:59.087 --> 00:23:00.957 Okay, you can stay here. 456 00:23:01.340 --> 00:23:03.800 But for a very limited amount of time. Okay? 457 00:23:03.842 --> 00:23:05.302 - Yes. - Just until you get back on your feet. 458 00:23:05.385 --> 00:23:06.385 - All right? - Yes. 459 00:23:06.470 --> 00:23:07.890 It's a small space. You know. 460 00:23:07.971 --> 00:23:09.891 It's tight sometimes for Rachel and I, so... 461 00:23:09.973 --> 00:23:12.893 It is really small, it's like... It's freaky small. 462 00:23:12.976 --> 00:23:15.186 Well, but you're welcome, here. 463 00:23:15.270 --> 00:23:17.980 If you need to crash, you can have the couch. 464 00:23:18.065 --> 00:23:19.985 - Yes. We'll draw straws. - Okay. 465 00:23:20.067 --> 00:23:22.147 It'll be a fun kind of roommate... 466 00:23:22.236 --> 00:23:23.276 It's not a negotiation. 467 00:23:23.403 --> 00:23:24.493 ...stuff. Okay. 468 00:23:26.406 --> 00:23:27.406 Ha. 469 00:23:27.658 --> 00:23:30.788 A bed inside a sofa. That's neat. 470 00:23:30.827 --> 00:23:33.327 Well, it's old, but it's comfortable, so... 471 00:23:33.997 --> 00:23:35.117 Thank you, Claire. 472 00:23:35.582 --> 00:23:36.712 Good night, Michelle. 473 00:23:41.755 --> 00:23:42.795 It's... 474 00:23:44.633 --> 00:23:45.683 Well... 475 00:23:48.178 --> 00:23:49.178 This isn't so... 476 00:23:50.514 --> 00:23:53.104 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 477 00:23:59.147 --> 00:24:00.227 Claire! 478 00:24:01.441 --> 00:24:04.031 I think I've shattered my pelvis. 479 00:24:16.623 --> 00:24:18.673 Oh, Michelle! Oh, my God. 480 00:24:18.709 --> 00:24:19.789 Claire! 481 00:24:19.877 --> 00:24:22.667 Michelle, why are you in my bed? 482 00:24:22.713 --> 00:24:24.883 Because your sofa threw me against a wall, 483 00:24:25.007 --> 00:24:27.177 and I've had a cellie for the last six months. 484 00:24:27.217 --> 00:24:30.047 I find it very difficult to sleep on my own. 485 00:24:30.762 --> 00:24:32.392 Wow. Okay. You're kicking up a lot of... 486 00:24:32.431 --> 00:24:34.061 Is that from... Is that me? 487 00:24:34.141 --> 00:24:35.141 I think... 488 00:24:35.225 --> 00:24:36.805 Yeah, that's me. 489 00:24:36.894 --> 00:24:38.404 You know what? I got into 490 00:24:38.478 --> 00:24:40.148 a wee bit of your Scotch last night. 491 00:24:40.230 --> 00:24:42.230 And, you know what else I tried 492 00:24:42.357 --> 00:24:44.397 that I thought was terrific, was a Dorito. 493 00:24:44.818 --> 00:24:46.028 I think it was the cheese. 494 00:24:46.069 --> 00:24:49.659 I mean not a cheese found in nature, but cheese-adjacent. 495 00:24:49.740 --> 00:24:52.240 I just thought it was wonderful. 496 00:24:52.284 --> 00:24:53.704 What a wonderful chip. 497 00:24:54.620 --> 00:24:57.910 Michelle, you can't sleep in my bed. I don't want you in here. 498 00:24:57.998 --> 00:24:59.458 You gotta get it together, Michelle. 499 00:24:59.541 --> 00:25:01.251 I am together, okay? 500 00:25:01.335 --> 00:25:04.135 This morning, I'm meeting with a bunch of old colleagues. 501 00:25:04.213 --> 00:25:07.303 I'm gonna pour this into something creamy and delicious, 502 00:25:07.382 --> 00:25:09.052 and see who takes a big sip. 503 00:25:09.092 --> 00:25:10.472 Get out, out of my bed. 504 00:25:10.552 --> 00:25:14.892 God. I see why this half of the bed maybe is empty. 505 00:25:14.932 --> 00:25:17.732 Okay? You're a real B-I-T-C-U-N-T in the morning. 506 00:25:17.768 --> 00:25:19.558 You think about that. 507 00:25:21.772 --> 00:25:23.482 Michelle, you gotta get out of the bathroom. 508 00:25:23.565 --> 00:25:26.605 I'm already late for work and Rachel's gonna be late for school. 509 00:25:26.652 --> 00:25:28.192 Well, I'm going as fast as I can. 510 00:25:28.278 --> 00:25:29.608 You're welcome to come in. 511 00:25:30.197 --> 00:25:32.737 Fine, but we gotta get on a schedule if you're gonna be here... 512 00:25:32.783 --> 00:25:33.993 Oh, my God! 513 00:25:34.743 --> 00:25:35.833 Close your robe. 514 00:25:35.953 --> 00:25:37.083 No, absolutely not! 515 00:25:37.162 --> 00:25:40.212 I'm self-tanning and my legs are still wet. 516 00:25:40.624 --> 00:25:42.384 I can see your vagina. 517 00:25:42.459 --> 00:25:44.999 Well, congratulations and you're welcome! 518 00:25:45.087 --> 00:25:47.457 You know, I had it rejuvenated in 2010. 519 00:25:47.548 --> 00:25:49.418 They call it a vaguvenation! 520 00:25:49.967 --> 00:25:52.637 You know, it's like a soft silk coin purse. 521 00:25:52.719 --> 00:25:54.299 I can barely urinate. 522 00:25:54.388 --> 00:25:55.468 Oh, my God! 523 00:25:55.556 --> 00:25:56.636 Now, do me a favor 524 00:25:56.723 --> 00:25:58.983 and tell me if I have any streaks on my hamstrings. 525 00:25:59.017 --> 00:26:00.187 Oh, God! Put it away! 526 00:26:00.394 --> 00:26:01.524 - Whoa. - Put it away. 527 00:26:02.062 --> 00:26:03.772 Hi, Raquel! 528 00:26:03.814 --> 00:26:04.944 It's Rachel! 529 00:26:04.982 --> 00:26:06.072 Go grab your backpack, honey. 530 00:26:06.149 --> 00:26:08.529 We don't need to brush our teeth today. Our teeth are fine. 531 00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:12.319 You need to wipe some of that off your face. You know it dries darker? 532 00:26:12.406 --> 00:26:13.986 - No, does it? - Yes. 533 00:26:14.074 --> 00:26:15.914 But that's not what the bottle says. 534 00:26:17.286 --> 00:26:20.656 Oh, it's okay. It's coming off like a dream on your towel. 535 00:26:20.706 --> 00:26:21.866 You need to clean up the bathroom. 536 00:26:22.374 --> 00:26:25.924 And consider staying away from self-tanner altogether. 537 00:26:26.003 --> 00:26:28.883 Your pelvic region is the color of curry. 538 00:26:30.174 --> 00:26:32.094 Namaste, Claire. Thank you. 539 00:26:32.176 --> 00:26:33.336 It's not a compliment. 540 00:26:33.468 --> 00:26:34.468 Oh. 541 00:26:39.474 --> 00:26:41.394 All right, here's a little joke for everybody. 542 00:26:41.476 --> 00:26:44.436 What do golfers do on their day off? 543 00:26:45.189 --> 00:26:46.189 Putter around. 544 00:26:51.737 --> 00:26:53.607 Tom, I'm gonna crunch those numbers for you, 545 00:26:53.697 --> 00:26:55.567 but I'm going to make you pay through the teeth. 546 00:26:56.241 --> 00:26:57.451 Oh. 547 00:26:57.534 --> 00:26:58.744 Bryce Crean! 548 00:26:58.827 --> 00:27:01.867 Oh, my God! How long has it been? 549 00:27:02.206 --> 00:27:04.866 You old son of a bitch! It has been too long! 550 00:27:04.917 --> 00:27:07.127 Terri. Hello, gentlemen. Hi... 551 00:27:07.711 --> 00:27:08.751 Carl. 552 00:27:08.962 --> 00:27:10.462 Oh. Look at that beard. 553 00:27:10.547 --> 00:27:12.967 How's that old ball-and-chain Pam treatin' ya? 554 00:27:14.009 --> 00:27:15.719 Pam passed away four months ago. 555 00:27:17.054 --> 00:27:19.894 That's tough. That's tough. 556 00:27:19.973 --> 00:27:21.733 We're kind of in the middle of something here, Michelle. 557 00:27:21.808 --> 00:27:23.058 So, thank you very much. 558 00:27:23.685 --> 00:27:27.555 Word on the street, Bryce, is that you're just about to close on that Kraft deal. 559 00:27:27.648 --> 00:27:30.188 So if you want me to head up that division... 560 00:27:30.234 --> 00:27:34.244 I think I could be a pretty big asset to you on that account. 561 00:27:34.863 --> 00:27:37.573 You've got no capital and nobody likes you. 562 00:27:37.616 --> 00:27:39.406 Nobody here at this table likes you. 563 00:27:39.493 --> 00:27:42.083 - Nobody at this entire club likes you. - That's not true. 564 00:27:42.120 --> 00:27:44.160 Horrible, horrible feedback from everybody. 565 00:27:44.498 --> 00:27:47.748 So, thank you for the groveling. Good bye! 566 00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:51.170 Fuck off, Bryce. 567 00:27:51.505 --> 00:27:53.015 Yeah. You know what? 568 00:27:53.632 --> 00:27:54.922 You wouldn't even be here 569 00:27:55.008 --> 00:27:57.218 if I hadn't brought you in as a junior executive. 570 00:27:57.261 --> 00:27:59.931 And, Terri, you think anybody else would've hired you right out of college? 571 00:27:59.972 --> 00:28:01.852 No! I don't who the fuck you three are. 572 00:28:01.932 --> 00:28:02.932 But I'll guess this. 573 00:28:03.016 --> 00:28:05.096 I bet you got here climbing on my back somehow. 574 00:28:05.143 --> 00:28:07.103 Carl, I gave you that Landis account. 575 00:28:07.187 --> 00:28:11.437 I handed you your career and I'm the one that made Pam a sales rep! 576 00:28:11.483 --> 00:28:12.613 Pam is dead. 577 00:28:12.693 --> 00:28:14.113 Pam was a whore! 578 00:28:14.194 --> 00:28:16.784 She fucked her way through the whole IT department. 579 00:28:16.864 --> 00:28:18.994 And Terri knows it, 'cause you were in on it, too! 580 00:28:19.324 --> 00:28:20.784 - Yeah! - The tech guys? 581 00:28:20.868 --> 00:28:22.408 You think Pam did all the tech guys? 582 00:28:22.452 --> 00:28:26.082 The lowest, weirdest, saddest guys! 583 00:28:26.164 --> 00:28:27.464 That's who Pam fucked! 584 00:28:27.541 --> 00:28:29.041 Go to hell, Michelle! Go to hell! 585 00:28:29.126 --> 00:28:31.956 When I get to hell, I'll tell Pam that you said hello, 586 00:28:32.004 --> 00:28:34.134 'cause she's probably down there fucking IT guys. 587 00:28:34.173 --> 00:28:38.473 Weird little guys, carrying wires around in weird hats. 588 00:28:38.510 --> 00:28:40.050 That's who she's fucking in hell. 589 00:28:40.137 --> 00:28:41.137 Yeah. 590 00:28:41.388 --> 00:28:42.598 I don't need you. 591 00:28:42.639 --> 00:28:45.309 I don't need you and you're gonna be sorry. 592 00:28:45.350 --> 00:28:48.400 'Cause I got a sweet deal for you and you're letting it walk out. 593 00:28:48.478 --> 00:28:50.978 You know, you want to be dumbasses? Be my guest. 594 00:28:51.023 --> 00:28:53.193 I'll tell you what, you're gonna regret this. 595 00:28:53.734 --> 00:28:54.864 Yow! 596 00:28:56.653 --> 00:28:58.703 Yow! Son of a bitch! 597 00:29:00.657 --> 00:29:02.327 - Holy shit! - Son of a bitch! 598 00:29:02.409 --> 00:29:03.829 How'd she survive that? 599 00:29:03.911 --> 00:29:05.581 'Cause she's horrible. 600 00:29:05.662 --> 00:29:06.752 Let's go. 601 00:29:06.830 --> 00:29:08.330 Mother of shite! 602 00:29:09.833 --> 00:29:11.293 I dinged my pelvis again. 603 00:29:18.467 --> 00:29:19.467 Ah. 604 00:29:21.178 --> 00:29:22.598 - Tell me everything. - Okay. 605 00:29:22.679 --> 00:29:26.929 So, right off the top, Bryce ordered a Nicoise salad 606 00:29:27.017 --> 00:29:29.437 but he asked for the tuna to be really well done. 607 00:29:29.520 --> 00:29:31.860 But if it's a quality piece of tuna, you don't wanna have it... 608 00:29:31.897 --> 00:29:33.857 - Not relevant. - Okay, right. 609 00:29:34.983 --> 00:29:37.403 Bryce did everything you asked him to do. 610 00:29:37.486 --> 00:29:38.606 Michelle came in. She was like, 611 00:29:38.695 --> 00:29:39.815 "I wanna be in a business." 612 00:29:39.863 --> 00:29:41.493 And he was like, "No dice." 613 00:29:41.532 --> 00:29:44.202 And then, she fell down a flight of stairs. 614 00:29:44.243 --> 00:29:46.333 Did she hurt her wonderful body? 615 00:29:46.370 --> 00:29:48.250 I have a video of it. Do you wanna see? 616 00:29:50.541 --> 00:29:51.541 I'll tell you what. 617 00:29:51.959 --> 00:29:53.129 - Oh, look at her. - Mmm-hmm. 618 00:29:53.961 --> 00:29:55.091 Oh. 619 00:29:58.799 --> 00:30:00.299 Oh. 620 00:30:02.386 --> 00:30:04.006 So you see the normal intestine. 621 00:30:04.388 --> 00:30:07.518 Now, notice the difference between that intestine and this intestine. 622 00:30:07.558 --> 00:30:10.728 I'm getting light-headed. Is there any of that brownie left? 623 00:30:10.769 --> 00:30:12.649 - Yeah. - I feel like my blood sugar's dropping. 624 00:30:12.729 --> 00:30:15.689 I should probably pop it with a little sugar. 625 00:30:17.442 --> 00:30:20.742 Holy shit! That is a good brownie. 626 00:30:20.779 --> 00:30:21.779 Language. 627 00:30:21.864 --> 00:30:23.744 Well, I'm sorry, you give me a holy-shit brownie. 628 00:30:23.782 --> 00:30:24.992 I'm gonna say, "Holy shit!" 629 00:30:25.075 --> 00:30:28.995 'Cause holy shit, this is a good brownie. 630 00:30:29.079 --> 00:30:31.409 I can't believe... Your mom makes these, right? 631 00:30:31.456 --> 00:30:33.376 Yeah, it's a family recipe. 632 00:30:33.750 --> 00:30:34.830 Hi! 633 00:30:36.628 --> 00:30:39.508 I'm pretty sure Michelle has diverticulitis. 634 00:30:39.590 --> 00:30:40.920 - What? - I got it. 635 00:30:41.758 --> 00:30:43.588 I think it's pretty advanced, Claire. 636 00:30:43.635 --> 00:30:44.925 Who said that? 637 00:30:44.970 --> 00:30:46.010 Doctor Oz. 638 00:30:46.096 --> 00:30:47.256 Look. 639 00:30:47.389 --> 00:30:48.559 Oh, my God! 640 00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:50.229 There's my colon again. 641 00:30:50.267 --> 00:30:53.097 Okay, you need to get off the couch 642 00:30:53.145 --> 00:30:55.525 because you've been laying down for about three weeks. 643 00:30:55.606 --> 00:30:58.066 And, also, you have to start pulling your weight around here. 644 00:30:58.108 --> 00:30:59.278 We can start tonight. 645 00:30:59.318 --> 00:31:01.438 You can take Rachel to her Dandelions meeting. 646 00:31:01.528 --> 00:31:03.448 - What? - Why aren't you taking me? 647 00:31:03.530 --> 00:31:04.530 Sweetie, I can't. 648 00:31:04.615 --> 00:31:08.875 My boss, who is a massive fan of yours, by the way, 649 00:31:08.952 --> 00:31:11.202 has decided I need to go back in for the evening. 650 00:31:11.288 --> 00:31:12.288 Okay? 651 00:31:12.372 --> 00:31:16.292 Let's go! The most important part of the plan being "get off the couch." 652 00:31:18.879 --> 00:31:21.459 I don't think I like sassy Claire. 653 00:31:23.634 --> 00:31:26.394 All right. I want you to give me the lowdown on this meeting. 654 00:31:26.470 --> 00:31:28.560 What are my opportunities? What are my pitfalls? 655 00:31:28.639 --> 00:31:29.929 What do you mean? 656 00:31:30.015 --> 00:31:32.225 Well, I want to know what I'm walking into. 657 00:31:32.392 --> 00:31:34.352 Oh, everyone's pretty nice. 658 00:31:35.521 --> 00:31:40.281 I forgot how many people ride the "L." It's kind of fascinating. 659 00:31:40.317 --> 00:31:44.237 Some people depend on this. Like, they don't have a car. 660 00:31:44.905 --> 00:31:45.955 Well, I know that. 661 00:31:47.366 --> 00:31:49.326 Roller-skating or roller-blading? 662 00:31:50.244 --> 00:31:51.334 Roller-blading. 663 00:31:51.370 --> 00:31:53.080 Honey or agave nectar? 664 00:31:53.163 --> 00:31:54.833 - Agave. - No, they're both terrible. 665 00:31:55.249 --> 00:31:57.169 Cell phone, landline? 666 00:31:57.209 --> 00:31:59.419 - What? - Oh, God. 667 00:31:59.878 --> 00:32:01.588 Do you not know what that means? 668 00:32:01.672 --> 00:32:03.632 - No. - Oh, Jesus. 669 00:32:04.258 --> 00:32:06.508 Okay, this should be interesting. 670 00:32:07.845 --> 00:32:11.225 Ladies, big news. Great news. 671 00:32:12.015 --> 00:32:16.225 Marsha Swan's tabby cat, Spaghetti, is on the mend 672 00:32:16.311 --> 00:32:19.521 and expected to make a full recovery. 673 00:32:19.565 --> 00:32:20.825 Yay, Spaghetti! 674 00:32:23.402 --> 00:32:24.532 Yay! 675 00:32:25.946 --> 00:32:28.776 My daughter, Beth, was so worried about Spaghetti. 676 00:32:28.866 --> 00:32:30.826 Thank goodness she's back on her feet. 677 00:32:30.868 --> 00:32:33.868 Funny fact about Spaghetti, she hates spaghetti. 678 00:32:34.371 --> 00:32:36.211 You seem fucking crazy to me. 679 00:32:36.290 --> 00:32:37.290 Excuse me? 680 00:32:37.374 --> 00:32:38.964 Cute as a daisy to me. 681 00:32:39.793 --> 00:32:42.003 Okay, now, not to sound too kookie, 682 00:32:42.045 --> 00:32:44.875 but let's talk "cookie" sales, that is. 683 00:32:48.218 --> 00:32:52.468 Okay, so this year, we came in with $21,000. 684 00:32:52.723 --> 00:32:54.563 Pretty good job, big bucks. 685 00:32:54.600 --> 00:33:00.400 But Detroit is still in the lead for the year with $189,000. 686 00:33:00.856 --> 00:33:02.516 Can I just ask you, are these numbers 687 00:33:02.649 --> 00:33:04.319 you're talking about just cookie sales? 688 00:33:04.401 --> 00:33:07.361 And, if so, how many troupes are we talking about here? 689 00:33:07.821 --> 00:33:13.081 There are 3.2 million Dandelions all over the world 690 00:33:13.118 --> 00:33:16.198 blown across the earth, making a difference. 691 00:33:16.246 --> 00:33:17.406 Is this global? 692 00:33:17.873 --> 00:33:21.213 Wait, I recognize you. You're Michelle Darnell. 693 00:33:21.251 --> 00:33:23.041 Please, don't make a fuss. 694 00:33:23.086 --> 00:33:24.586 Oh, I'm gonna make a fuss. 695 00:33:24.630 --> 00:33:27.470 You're a convicted felon sitting in a room full of children. 696 00:33:27.549 --> 00:33:28.759 You're a criminal. 697 00:33:28.842 --> 00:33:30.222 It was white-collar crime. 698 00:33:30.260 --> 00:33:31.930 Okay, you don't have to defend me. 699 00:33:31.970 --> 00:33:33.260 You're such a loser. 700 00:33:33.722 --> 00:33:35.352 I'm sorry, what did he say? 701 00:33:35.724 --> 00:33:36.774 What? 702 00:33:36.808 --> 00:33:38.058 - Well, I would... - Yeah. 703 00:33:38.101 --> 00:33:39.691 Excuse me. Hi. 704 00:33:39.770 --> 00:33:40.900 I gotta ask you. 705 00:33:40.938 --> 00:33:44.688 Now are we talking part-time or full-time employees here? 706 00:33:44.775 --> 00:33:47.695 Nope, just happy volunteers. 707 00:33:47.778 --> 00:33:48.778 What? 708 00:33:48.862 --> 00:33:50.702 For your information, jailbird... 709 00:33:51.198 --> 00:33:52.528 She seems great. 710 00:33:52.616 --> 00:33:54.946 The Dandelions helps girls build leadership skills. 711 00:33:54.993 --> 00:33:56.833 It looks good on their high-school transcript 712 00:33:56.912 --> 00:33:58.462 and they are bettering their community, 713 00:33:58.580 --> 00:34:00.080 which is more than I can say for you. 714 00:34:00.165 --> 00:34:02.245 A-ha. What is your name? 715 00:34:02.292 --> 00:34:03.542 Helen Kreagan. 716 00:34:03.627 --> 00:34:06.297 Oh, you know what? I think you dropped something right here. 717 00:34:06.338 --> 00:34:07.958 - You go fuck yourself. - Go fuck yourself. 718 00:34:08.465 --> 00:34:09.585 Go fuck yourself. 719 00:34:09.967 --> 00:34:11.627 I don't think you know who you're talking to. 720 00:34:11.677 --> 00:34:14.217 I think I do. And I think I want you to fuck off. 721 00:34:14.304 --> 00:34:15.354 I don't think you do. 722 00:34:17.391 --> 00:34:18.391 Oh, my gosh! 723 00:34:19.685 --> 00:34:22.985 Can we just take a minute and give congrats to Sarah, here? 724 00:34:24.606 --> 00:34:27.606 Thank you. It's Sandy. It's Sandy. 725 00:34:27.651 --> 00:34:29.321 - Or Sandy. - I like Sarah. 726 00:34:29.361 --> 00:34:30.741 Whatever, either one. 727 00:34:30.821 --> 00:34:33.991 I gotta know how much are you selling these boxes for? 728 00:34:34.449 --> 00:34:36.789 - Girls. - $7. 729 00:34:36.827 --> 00:34:37.987 $7? 730 00:34:38.495 --> 00:34:39.785 Ka-ching, right? 731 00:34:39.830 --> 00:34:43.830 I got a guy in Shanghai who can make this same box of cookies, 19 cents. 732 00:34:43.917 --> 00:34:46.247 This is an official meeting and you're interrupting it. 733 00:34:46.336 --> 00:34:47.956 Let's take a poll, show of hands. 734 00:34:48.088 --> 00:34:49.708 Who finds Helen to be a bummer? 735 00:34:51.633 --> 00:34:53.683 Lots of hands. Oh, Helen. 736 00:34:53.927 --> 00:34:55.467 Toot. 737 00:34:57.014 --> 00:34:58.684 Do something, Mom. 738 00:34:59.266 --> 00:35:01.886 I object to parolees attending our meetings 739 00:35:01.977 --> 00:35:03.397 and I'd like to put that in the minutes. 740 00:35:03.854 --> 00:35:05.024 May I? 741 00:35:05.105 --> 00:35:06.605 Let me just handle this. 742 00:35:06.690 --> 00:35:08.690 Another great point by Helen. 743 00:35:08.775 --> 00:35:09.935 You know what, Helen? 744 00:35:10.027 --> 00:35:11.527 If you don't get off my fucking back, 745 00:35:11.612 --> 00:35:14.822 I'm gonna shove a box of chocolate clusters up that tight ass of yours. 746 00:35:16.283 --> 00:35:17.283 Oh. 747 00:35:17.743 --> 00:35:19.373 I would love to go to lunch. 748 00:35:19.411 --> 00:35:23.501 You're on. You got yourself a date. That sounds terrific, okay? 749 00:35:23.707 --> 00:35:25.577 Sandy, I love that kerchief. 750 00:35:25.667 --> 00:35:26.667 Was that necessary? 751 00:35:26.752 --> 00:35:28.252 - Super necessary. - Yeah. 752 00:35:43.393 --> 00:35:44.733 Michelle? 753 00:35:45.103 --> 00:35:46.233 - Hi! - What are you doing? 754 00:35:46.313 --> 00:35:47.563 What is all this? 755 00:35:47.606 --> 00:35:49.146 This is my way back, m'kay? 756 00:35:49.233 --> 00:35:51.613 You are looking at Darnell 2.0. 757 00:35:51.693 --> 00:35:53.363 I wondered when you were getting up. 758 00:35:53.570 --> 00:35:55.240 Have you not gone to bed yet? 759 00:35:55.322 --> 00:35:57.072 No, I have been up and percolating 760 00:35:57.157 --> 00:35:58.987 since 11:00 p.m. last night. 761 00:35:59.076 --> 00:36:01.036 - Just great stuff, Claire! - Okay. 762 00:36:01.078 --> 00:36:02.248 You're having a breakdown. 763 00:36:02.287 --> 00:36:05.787 No, no, no! I'm having a breakthrough, because of you. 764 00:36:05.874 --> 00:36:07.674 Sit down, I gotta show you this. 765 00:36:07.751 --> 00:36:12.261 Let me introduce you to my new golden goose... 766 00:36:14.091 --> 00:36:16.431 Darnell's Darlings. 767 00:36:16.510 --> 00:36:17.680 Rough sketches. 768 00:36:17.761 --> 00:36:19.301 So, I know. Those will be perfected. 769 00:36:19.388 --> 00:36:21.928 But, really, tell me, what's your initial thoughts? 770 00:36:23.433 --> 00:36:25.193 - Stalin. - Okay. 771 00:36:25.269 --> 00:36:27.019 - Communist youth. - All right! 772 00:36:27.437 --> 00:36:30.107 Japanese-y black power? 773 00:36:30.190 --> 00:36:32.730 My takeaway from that is "powerful." 774 00:36:33.110 --> 00:36:35.740 Powerful imagery and I'll take that any day of the week. 775 00:36:36.947 --> 00:36:37.987 Why are you up? 776 00:36:38.115 --> 00:36:40.415 Sit down, sleepyhead. Let's wake it up. 777 00:36:41.702 --> 00:36:43.912 Claire, we're gonna start a brownie company. 778 00:36:43.954 --> 00:36:46.754 No, we're gonna start a brownie empire. 779 00:36:46.790 --> 00:36:49.330 Okay? And we're gonna call it Darnell's Darlings. 780 00:36:49.793 --> 00:36:52.843 Illinois alone has 25,000 Dandelions. 781 00:36:52.921 --> 00:36:57.801 They're pulling in, in one year, $32,500,000. 782 00:36:58.135 --> 00:37:00.015 This is a global company. 783 00:37:00.095 --> 00:37:02.635 The Dandelions are making a billion dollars a year. 784 00:37:03.015 --> 00:37:06.145 Is that going in your pocket? Helen's probably pocketing it. 785 00:37:06.226 --> 00:37:10.056 I mean, that horrible bitch would take teeth right out of a kid. Am I wrong? 786 00:37:10.314 --> 00:37:13.654 If she could sell teeth, she'd rip kids' teeth out. 787 00:37:14.234 --> 00:37:16.744 I'm gonna let it go, but Helen's horrible. 788 00:37:16.820 --> 00:37:18.700 The Dandelions are a non-profit, Michelle. 789 00:37:18.780 --> 00:37:20.910 That money goes back into great programs for the girls. 790 00:37:20.991 --> 00:37:22.831 Oh, great programs? That's interesting. 791 00:37:22.910 --> 00:37:24.990 Rachel, do me a favor. 792 00:37:25.037 --> 00:37:28.537 Tell your mom what was the last "great program" you completed. 793 00:37:28.749 --> 00:37:30.329 Go ahead, go ahead. 794 00:37:30.417 --> 00:37:33.497 Scout leader Sandy gave me a "Social Butterfly" badge. 795 00:37:33.545 --> 00:37:34.745 That's great! 796 00:37:35.088 --> 00:37:37.298 Tell her what a "Social Butterfly" badge is. 797 00:37:37.341 --> 00:37:41.851 I had to hold a conversation with a new person for 30 minutes... 798 00:37:42.304 --> 00:37:43.514 - Okay. - ...and demonstrate 799 00:37:43.555 --> 00:37:45.095 how to be a good hostess. 800 00:37:45.849 --> 00:37:48.729 Next week, I'm thinking maybe they'll arrange marriages. 801 00:37:49.019 --> 00:37:50.979 I'll tell you what, I'm gonna design 802 00:37:51.104 --> 00:37:53.064 a special new badge for the Dandelions. 803 00:37:53.148 --> 00:37:56.028 It's gonna be a real big one, so no one misses it. 804 00:37:56.068 --> 00:37:57.858 And I'm gonna make it a picture of a woman. 805 00:37:57.903 --> 00:38:01.873 A real sad woman with apron strings on, bent over in front of an oven. 806 00:38:01.949 --> 00:38:05.289 And it's gonna say, "You know why we like vaginas better than your mouth? 807 00:38:05.369 --> 00:38:07.539 "Because they don't have teeth and they don't talk." 808 00:38:07.788 --> 00:38:10.168 And you could turn that badge over and you're gonna realize 809 00:38:10.207 --> 00:38:12.627 that there's a man in the oven and she's giving him a blowjob. 810 00:38:13.085 --> 00:38:14.175 Good luck earning that! 811 00:38:14.211 --> 00:38:15.381 Michelle! 812 00:38:15.629 --> 00:38:17.339 I heard everything anyways. 813 00:38:17.714 --> 00:38:19.764 These girls are gonna earn some real money 814 00:38:19.842 --> 00:38:21.682 that can go towards a college fund, 815 00:38:22.052 --> 00:38:25.722 give them empowerment, give them a good sense of self. 816 00:38:25.764 --> 00:38:27.684 I find that exciting, Claire. 817 00:38:28.141 --> 00:38:30.061 It's a nice idea, Michelle, 818 00:38:30.143 --> 00:38:33.063 but it's also a crazy one. 819 00:38:33.105 --> 00:38:35.075 Claire, I want you to listen to me. 820 00:38:37.401 --> 00:38:39.651 You have an amazing product. 821 00:38:39.736 --> 00:38:42.486 - You make a mind-blowing brownie. - Okay. 822 00:38:42.573 --> 00:38:46.703 And I can sell anything I believe in, and I believe in your product. 823 00:38:47.077 --> 00:38:50.457 We can be partners. Not my assistant. Fifty-fifty. 824 00:38:50.789 --> 00:38:53.419 That's how much I believe in this. What do you say? 825 00:38:55.127 --> 00:38:56.877 I have to keep my job, Michelle. 826 00:38:57.004 --> 00:38:58.764 This is... It's just too risky. 827 00:38:59.548 --> 00:39:01.048 Come on. 828 00:39:01.592 --> 00:39:03.592 You don't even like your job, Mom. 829 00:39:04.469 --> 00:39:06.429 Oh, that was beautiful timing. 830 00:39:06.471 --> 00:39:07.641 I didn't even set that up. 831 00:39:08.432 --> 00:39:10.602 You know what, Claire? Keep your terrible job. 832 00:39:10.642 --> 00:39:12.442 Do this on the side. 833 00:39:13.103 --> 00:39:15.813 Okay? Plus, it's gonna get me off your couch. 834 00:39:15.898 --> 00:39:16.938 I'm in. 835 00:39:17.441 --> 00:39:18.441 - You're in? - Mmm-hmm. 836 00:39:18.942 --> 00:39:20.032 Let's do it, people! 837 00:39:20.110 --> 00:39:22.110 Okay, Rachel, you go get dressed. 838 00:39:22.154 --> 00:39:24.454 I'm gonna take you to school. We're gonna get some new recruits! 839 00:39:24.531 --> 00:39:26.951 It's 4:00 a.m. I'm going back to bed. 840 00:39:26.992 --> 00:39:28.122 Night, sweetie. 841 00:39:28.202 --> 00:39:29.452 What? Okay, you know what? 842 00:39:29.536 --> 00:39:31.616 You get your rest, you're gonna need it! 843 00:39:31.663 --> 00:39:34.253 We gotta recruit some Darnell Darlings today! 844 00:39:34.291 --> 00:39:36.131 Claire, my quarterback, 845 00:39:36.210 --> 00:39:37.960 I need you to bust ass into that kitchen 846 00:39:38.045 --> 00:39:40.635 and start making pan after pan after pan of brownies, 847 00:39:40.714 --> 00:39:42.924 'cause that's how fast I'm gonna sell 'em, okay? 848 00:39:42.966 --> 00:39:44.796 - Right now? - Right now! All right? 849 00:39:44.885 --> 00:39:46.895 I may have tried to preheat that oven, 850 00:39:47.012 --> 00:39:49.012 so I think there's a little bit of a gas leak. 851 00:39:49.097 --> 00:39:50.467 - Huh? - If you think about it, it may be 852 00:39:50.641 --> 00:39:52.021 why you guys are feeling a little logy. 853 00:39:52.142 --> 00:39:55.312 Hey, Rach, you know what? Don't go to sleep! Don't go to sleep! 854 00:39:55.395 --> 00:39:56.395 Oh, my God! 855 00:39:57.314 --> 00:39:59.404 Okay. We may have to walk her. 856 00:40:02.945 --> 00:40:04.245 Ah. You know what? 857 00:40:04.321 --> 00:40:07.321 It feels good to kind of put the shine and polish back on again. 858 00:40:07.991 --> 00:40:10.331 People say it doesn't matter, but it does. 859 00:40:10.369 --> 00:40:13.159 Puts a little kick in your step. 860 00:40:15.582 --> 00:40:17.082 Who is that beast? 861 00:40:17.543 --> 00:40:19.593 That's Chrystal Delveccio. 862 00:40:19.670 --> 00:40:21.840 She's always getting into fist fights. 863 00:40:22.381 --> 00:40:24.341 - Later, Dad. - That's perfect. 864 00:40:24.675 --> 00:40:26.685 That is exactly the kind of gal we want to recruit. 865 00:40:26.760 --> 00:40:28.300 You know what? Another little tip. 866 00:40:28.345 --> 00:40:30.965 Look for girls that are named after precious stones. 867 00:40:31.014 --> 00:40:33.774 Topaz, Sapphire, Opal, Amber. 868 00:40:34.059 --> 00:40:35.229 They're all gonna spiral down. 869 00:40:35.310 --> 00:40:38.020 We want to get 'em when they're angry and fresh going in. 870 00:40:38.105 --> 00:40:40.405 Why don't you check out Chrystal's availability? 871 00:40:40.732 --> 00:40:41.732 Got it. 872 00:40:45.070 --> 00:40:47.030 My mom never lets me drink coffee. 873 00:40:47.114 --> 00:40:49.124 Really, why? 874 00:40:49.575 --> 00:40:51.165 She says it'll stunt your growth. 875 00:40:51.201 --> 00:40:52.911 That's not true. That's crazy. 876 00:40:53.245 --> 00:40:55.335 What, do you wanna be freakishly tall? 877 00:40:57.624 --> 00:41:00.174 All right. Get in there, drum up some good recruits. 878 00:41:00.878 --> 00:41:02.878 I feel kind of sweaty and scared. 879 00:41:02.963 --> 00:41:04.843 That's just the coffee kickin' in. It's good for... 880 00:41:04.882 --> 00:41:07.722 Oh, you know what? Wait a minute, let me see something. 881 00:41:09.386 --> 00:41:10.886 Oh, I may have switched them. 882 00:41:10.929 --> 00:41:13.389 This one's yours. I put a little splash of bourbon in mine. 883 00:41:13.473 --> 00:41:14.643 That's okay. 884 00:41:15.475 --> 00:41:16.725 It's kind of a secret weapon. 885 00:41:17.269 --> 00:41:18.899 It's what makes the Irish so mean. 886 00:41:19.021 --> 00:41:20.611 And I can say that 'cause I'm Scottish! 887 00:41:21.398 --> 00:41:22.568 Go get 'em! 888 00:41:24.109 --> 00:41:27.649 And so, due to some unforeseen complications, 889 00:41:27.738 --> 00:41:29.568 and just, um... 890 00:41:30.032 --> 00:41:31.242 Giving up... 891 00:41:31.325 --> 00:41:33.415 Spaghetti passed away last night. 892 00:41:33.493 --> 00:41:35.083 Listen up, motherfuckers! 893 00:41:35.120 --> 00:41:36.160 Michelle, language! 894 00:41:36.246 --> 00:41:37.656 Who here wants to hear about 895 00:41:37.748 --> 00:41:39.828 an un-freaking-believably exciting opportunity? 896 00:41:40.083 --> 00:41:41.083 Huh? 897 00:41:41.585 --> 00:41:43.385 All right! Woo! Look at this group! 898 00:41:44.296 --> 00:41:46.126 All right. What's with all the long faces? 899 00:41:46.215 --> 00:41:47.515 Did somebody die? 900 00:41:47.591 --> 00:41:50.431 Yeah. Spaghetti died last night. 901 00:41:50.511 --> 00:41:51.761 Who is Spaghetti? 902 00:41:51.845 --> 00:41:53.005 The cat. 903 00:41:53.096 --> 00:41:55.096 The cat? Oh. Can I be honest? 904 00:41:55.182 --> 00:41:57.642 That cat probably killed himself because his name was "Spaghetti." 905 00:41:57.768 --> 00:41:58.768 Right? Hey-oh! 906 00:41:58.810 --> 00:41:59.940 - Michelle. - Oh... 907 00:42:00.771 --> 00:42:03.231 All right, okay. Why don't you take off, Sandy? 908 00:42:03.273 --> 00:42:04.483 It's my meeting and I'm... 909 00:42:04.608 --> 00:42:05.858 Okay. 910 00:42:05.943 --> 00:42:07.443 Go catch it. Go catch it. 911 00:42:07.528 --> 00:42:08.818 Really sorry about your loss. 912 00:42:09.154 --> 00:42:11.534 As you already know, my name is Michelle Darnell 913 00:42:11.615 --> 00:42:12.625 and this is my partner. 914 00:42:12.741 --> 00:42:15.911 And by "partner," I don't mean like girl-on-girl kind of stuff. 915 00:42:16.036 --> 00:42:18.286 - Whoa! - What's "girl-on-girl stuff"? 916 00:42:18.956 --> 00:42:21.166 Uh, well, great question. I love an inquisitive mind. 917 00:42:21.250 --> 00:42:23.290 Girl-on-girl stuff is really just referring to 918 00:42:23.377 --> 00:42:25.917 something you're probably gonna dabble with in college, 919 00:42:26.004 --> 00:42:27.094 but not stick with, you know? 920 00:42:27.130 --> 00:42:28.170 Let's not... Don't tell her that. 921 00:42:28.257 --> 00:42:29.337 Unless you're Hannah. 922 00:42:29.424 --> 00:42:30.764 Hannah, you're gonna stick with it. 923 00:42:30.843 --> 00:42:31.843 Don't... You know what? Let's... 924 00:42:31.927 --> 00:42:34.467 And I got a hunch that your mom should've stuck with it. 925 00:42:34.513 --> 00:42:36.143 She wouldn't be so pent-up and angry. 926 00:42:36.473 --> 00:42:37.473 That's my hunch. 927 00:42:37.558 --> 00:42:38.638 Let's change the subject. 928 00:42:38.725 --> 00:42:42.645 We brought you guys some delicious homemade brownie treats. 929 00:42:42.688 --> 00:42:45.648 Ooh. Look at this! We brought treats, everybody! Treats! 930 00:42:45.732 --> 00:42:47.442 Let me ask you one question. 931 00:42:47.484 --> 00:42:49.864 When you sell a box of cookies, what do you get? 932 00:42:49.945 --> 00:42:52.825 You get points that can apply to your canoe trip. 933 00:42:52.865 --> 00:42:55.375 Wrong, you get a big plate of bullshit! 934 00:42:55.868 --> 00:42:58.698 That is 100% right, you beautiful giant! 935 00:42:58.787 --> 00:43:01.327 Now, at Darnell's Darlings, we don't think that's right. 936 00:43:01.373 --> 00:43:03.833 We think if you go out and sell a box of cookies, 937 00:43:03.876 --> 00:43:05.376 we should give you 5% commission. 938 00:43:05.669 --> 00:43:07.709 5% commission, every box you sell. 939 00:43:07.796 --> 00:43:09.376 It was supposed to be 10%, I think. 940 00:43:09.715 --> 00:43:11.385 - That's right, we did say that. - Yeah. 941 00:43:11.466 --> 00:43:13.756 So far, you suck at this. Just letting you know that. 942 00:43:13.844 --> 00:43:15.514 Okay, it's 10%. 943 00:43:15.596 --> 00:43:18.136 You come work with us, you get a share of the profits. 944 00:43:18.682 --> 00:43:19.972 Okay. Or you can stay here! 945 00:43:20.017 --> 00:43:21.597 Be my guest and, I don't know, build some 946 00:43:21.685 --> 00:43:23.975 dirty badger nests in some kind of tree. 947 00:43:24.062 --> 00:43:25.862 Or what did you have planned, Sandy? 948 00:43:26.356 --> 00:43:29.776 Well, actually, we were gonna build a dirty badger nest in a tree. 949 00:43:30.777 --> 00:43:32.447 My God. 950 00:43:32.529 --> 00:43:34.529 My God! And I was making that up. 951 00:43:34.615 --> 00:43:38.665 I was trying to think of the worst possible scenario on Earth. 952 00:43:38.702 --> 00:43:40.412 What the hell is going on in here? 953 00:43:40.704 --> 00:43:43.044 I leave the room for one minute to talk to my landscaper 954 00:43:43.123 --> 00:43:44.623 and the meeting goes into the toilet? 955 00:43:44.875 --> 00:43:46.295 Sorry, Helen, we're almost done. 956 00:43:46.376 --> 00:43:49.206 Okay, you guys, the best part about Darnell's Darlings 957 00:43:49.296 --> 00:43:52.216 is that, for each box sold, an extra 10% 958 00:43:52.299 --> 00:43:54.429 will go into a college fund for you. Okay? 959 00:43:54.551 --> 00:43:57.471 We are gonna help you save for your college education. 960 00:43:57.554 --> 00:44:01.524 Wait, are you trying to poach girls from a Dandelions meeting? 961 00:44:01.767 --> 00:44:03.307 No! 962 00:44:03.393 --> 00:44:06.353 Helen, we are not trying to poach girls. 963 00:44:06.396 --> 00:44:10.476 We are actively and definitely poaching girls from this meeting. 964 00:44:10.567 --> 00:44:11.567 Get your hands off me. 965 00:44:11.652 --> 00:44:13.112 - Fuck you, Helen! - You fuck you! 966 00:44:13.946 --> 00:44:15.406 Tell your little shitty daughter, 967 00:44:15.489 --> 00:44:17.779 never talk to Rachel like that again. 968 00:44:17.866 --> 00:44:19.906 - Let's um, go, girls. - Okay, girls! 969 00:44:20.160 --> 00:44:22.830 Whoever wants to go to the fun room, come on with me! 970 00:44:22.913 --> 00:44:26.583 Just down the hall. The bigger, the better room. We got foosball! 971 00:44:26.959 --> 00:44:28.959 Okay. And I promise, no Helen! 972 00:44:29.461 --> 00:44:31.631 - Bye, Helen! - Good luck with your product! 973 00:44:32.256 --> 00:44:33.416 Oh, man. 974 00:44:33.507 --> 00:44:34.587 I mean, what is it, anyway? 975 00:44:34.633 --> 00:44:39.603 It looks like just a bunch of homemade, gluten-filled, sugar-filled, 976 00:44:39.847 --> 00:44:41.347 diabetes cake. 977 00:44:49.773 --> 00:44:51.113 With chocolate! 978 00:44:51.733 --> 00:44:53.113 Oh, my God. 979 00:44:54.528 --> 00:44:55.858 It's good. 980 00:45:23.307 --> 00:45:24.427 Now, what are we doing? 981 00:45:24.474 --> 00:45:26.644 Selling brownies! 982 00:45:26.727 --> 00:45:28.767 Okay, what do we say if somebody doesn't want to buy? 983 00:45:28.812 --> 00:45:30.402 "Buy my brownies or I'll kill you." 984 00:45:31.023 --> 00:45:32.073 Don't say that, Chrystal. 985 00:45:32.149 --> 00:45:33.189 Say that. That's perfect. 986 00:45:33.317 --> 00:45:35.237 All right, now go make some money! 987 00:45:35.986 --> 00:45:37.196 Woo! 988 00:45:37.321 --> 00:45:39.031 The van leaves at 7:00! 989 00:45:39.114 --> 00:45:41.324 If you're not back, we will leave without you! 990 00:45:41.366 --> 00:45:43.736 No, we're not gonna leave. Nobody's leaving you. 991 00:45:43.827 --> 00:45:45.617 We're leaving at 7:00 sharp. 992 00:45:45.829 --> 00:45:47.829 - 7:00! - The van'll be here. 993 00:45:48.415 --> 00:45:50.245 I didn't count how many there were. 994 00:45:51.335 --> 00:45:52.635 - I did. Whew. - Oh, good. 995 00:46:01.845 --> 00:46:04.135 Okay, these are cut and cooled. Bag 'em. 996 00:46:04.681 --> 00:46:06.101 Michelle, are you helping? 997 00:46:06.183 --> 00:46:07.563 Yes, of course, I'm helping. 998 00:46:13.649 --> 00:46:15.359 By the way, don't give him anymore freebies, okay? 999 00:46:15.442 --> 00:46:17.692 He's gotta pay for them, just like everybody else. 1000 00:46:17.986 --> 00:46:19.106 Oh, they're so good! 1001 00:46:19.196 --> 00:46:21.696 There you are. All set. 1002 00:46:23.033 --> 00:46:24.083 Don't forget the tip. 1003 00:46:24.201 --> 00:46:25.291 Now, how could I? You're so big. 1004 00:46:25.369 --> 00:46:27.539 You've said it so many times. And, there, you got it. 1005 00:46:32.626 --> 00:46:33.956 Hi, do you have money? 1006 00:46:35.671 --> 00:46:36.711 Hey! 1007 00:46:37.047 --> 00:46:39.127 There ain't gonna be any brownies left in the world. 1008 00:46:39.216 --> 00:46:41.086 Get outta here. Go sell brownies! 1009 00:46:42.636 --> 00:46:44.546 - Okay. - Hello, Bonnie! 1010 00:46:44.596 --> 00:46:48.216 Look at this. Patrice, take that. 1011 00:46:48.267 --> 00:46:49.727 Take that and buy me something! 1012 00:46:49.768 --> 00:46:51.478 I'm just kidding, but if you want to... 1013 00:46:57.568 --> 00:47:01.318 Remember, girls, when the houses are nice, we double the price. 1014 00:47:01.405 --> 00:47:03.915 Rich people don't trust affordable snacks. 1015 00:47:03.991 --> 00:47:06.581 - You know what? Let's go up to $10 a box. - Hey! 1016 00:47:08.537 --> 00:47:09.827 What do you think you're doing? 1017 00:47:09.913 --> 00:47:11.413 Hi, Helen! 1018 00:47:11.748 --> 00:47:14.418 We're participating in the American Dream. 1019 00:47:14.501 --> 00:47:16.001 Not on this street, you're not. 1020 00:47:16.086 --> 00:47:17.916 This is Dandelion territory. 1021 00:47:18.005 --> 00:47:19.175 It's okay, Helen, we'll just... 1022 00:47:19.256 --> 00:47:20.756 - Shut up, Sandy! - Okay. 1023 00:47:20.841 --> 00:47:21.931 You guys are losers! 1024 00:47:21.967 --> 00:47:24.177 Hey, suck my dick, Gigantor! 1025 00:47:24.261 --> 00:47:25.261 You're fucking dead! 1026 00:47:25.345 --> 00:47:26.385 Hannah, stop it! 1027 00:47:26.638 --> 00:47:28.558 We are not gonna behave like this! 1028 00:47:28.599 --> 00:47:29.769 Michelle. 1029 00:47:30.142 --> 00:47:31.232 A word? 1030 00:47:31.268 --> 00:47:32.438 I'd be delighted. 1031 00:47:32.603 --> 00:47:36.613 First rule of business, pretend to negotiate and then take what you want. 1032 00:47:41.445 --> 00:47:43.115 Listen, jailbird. 1033 00:47:43.363 --> 00:47:45.123 You think because you used to be someone 1034 00:47:45.199 --> 00:47:46.569 that the rules don't apply to you 1035 00:47:46.658 --> 00:47:48.868 and your pathetic band of rejects? 1036 00:47:49.953 --> 00:47:51.123 Well, you're wrong, bitch. 1037 00:47:51.246 --> 00:47:52.866 Ugh. Helen! 1038 00:47:53.540 --> 00:47:56.290 You got a case of the old trench-mouth. 1039 00:47:56.376 --> 00:47:59.296 Did you let a corpse curl up and die in there? 1040 00:47:59.505 --> 00:48:00.635 Forget it, Michelle. 1041 00:48:00.964 --> 00:48:03.554 - Let's just start on the next block. - No, no, no. 1042 00:48:03.967 --> 00:48:08.637 Second rule of business is when a stanky, hummus-eating bitch 1043 00:48:08.722 --> 00:48:12.312 and her yeti of a daughter gets in your face, 1044 00:48:12.643 --> 00:48:13.983 you gotta regulate. 1045 00:48:15.687 --> 00:48:17.647 Hannah, give me some space. 1046 00:48:22.986 --> 00:48:23.986 Oh. 1047 00:48:24.071 --> 00:48:25.821 - How'd that taste? - Nice. 1048 00:48:30.369 --> 00:48:31.659 Chomp on that! 1049 00:48:37.501 --> 00:48:39.251 Let's get 'em! 1050 00:48:57.020 --> 00:48:59.940 They're animals! They're animals! 1051 00:49:09.241 --> 00:49:10.701 Rachel's not done! 1052 00:49:11.034 --> 00:49:12.994 Rachel's thirsty for more! 1053 00:49:19.918 --> 00:49:21.038 Yeah! 1054 00:49:22.212 --> 00:49:24.342 Hey, Chrystal! I'm coming for you! 1055 00:49:24.798 --> 00:49:26.048 Bring it on! 1056 00:49:35.559 --> 00:49:37.729 Oh, no, you don't! You're not going anywhere! 1057 00:49:37.811 --> 00:49:40.021 Do you understand me? Dandelions never leave a street fight! 1058 00:49:40.063 --> 00:49:41.403 God damn it, Helen! 1059 00:49:41.440 --> 00:49:42.690 We're gonna wipe the floor! 1060 00:49:45.736 --> 00:49:47.236 Sandy, why? 1061 00:49:47.321 --> 00:49:49.241 'Cause I'm the leader, dang it! 1062 00:49:49.364 --> 00:49:50.784 - You're a traitor! - No. 1063 00:49:51.575 --> 00:49:54.335 Move! That bitch is mine! 1064 00:49:54.411 --> 00:49:55.541 Wait. No! 1065 00:49:55.579 --> 00:49:58.999 Hey, time to put the cookies back in the cookie jar, Helen! 1066 00:49:59.082 --> 00:50:01.382 - Ooh. - I warned you, Helen! I warned you! 1067 00:50:01.585 --> 00:50:03.255 Those clusters are scratching me! 1068 00:50:03.337 --> 00:50:05.417 Good! Darlings! 1069 00:50:05.964 --> 00:50:07.094 Let's go! 1070 00:50:08.342 --> 00:50:09.592 Stay down! 1071 00:50:09.676 --> 00:50:11.296 - Don't tell your mom. - Okay. 1072 00:50:11.428 --> 00:50:13.428 This was great. 1073 00:50:20.312 --> 00:50:21.312 Ooh! 1074 00:50:21.438 --> 00:50:23.058 That batch is burnt! 1075 00:50:25.234 --> 00:50:26.324 Bye. 1076 00:50:28.946 --> 00:50:30.316 One of 'em's in me. 1077 00:50:33.283 --> 00:50:35.623 Hi, is there a Claire here? 1078 00:50:35.786 --> 00:50:37.036 Is Claire... 1079 00:50:39.456 --> 00:50:41.116 Hi! Where is Claire? 1080 00:50:41.208 --> 00:50:43.668 Section 509, but return on investment... 1081 00:50:43.752 --> 00:50:44.752 Ugh, ugh. 1082 00:50:45.254 --> 00:50:46.464 Oh. 1083 00:50:46.630 --> 00:50:48.670 - Look at you, in the middle of everything... - I'll call you back. 1084 00:50:48.757 --> 00:50:49.797 In a bullpen. 1085 00:50:49.842 --> 00:50:50.972 What are you doing here? 1086 00:50:51.510 --> 00:50:53.800 We're out of brownies. We need you to make more. 1087 00:50:54.137 --> 00:50:55.507 Well, I'm at work! 1088 00:50:55.973 --> 00:50:58.563 Uh, hi, there! Hey! You're Michelle Darnell. 1089 00:50:58.976 --> 00:51:00.516 - Of course I am. - Yes, you are. 1090 00:51:00.602 --> 00:51:02.522 Mike, this is Michelle. Michelle, Mike. 1091 00:51:03.981 --> 00:51:04.981 Ah... 1092 00:51:05.482 --> 00:51:06.822 "Mike" Mike. 1093 00:51:08.068 --> 00:51:09.188 Oh. Rejected Mike. 1094 00:51:09.278 --> 00:51:10.988 - The rejected Mike? - Don't... 1095 00:51:11.071 --> 00:51:14.161 You know, he is kind of cute. I think you should toss him a pity date. 1096 00:51:14.199 --> 00:51:15.529 I don't need the pity, 1097 00:51:15.617 --> 00:51:17.737 but I will take the date if that's out there. 1098 00:51:17.828 --> 00:51:18.948 If that's an option. 1099 00:51:18.996 --> 00:51:21.366 Pity's all you've got. Pity's your best friend. 1100 00:51:21.665 --> 00:51:23.335 - Okay. Good to know. - Okay. 1101 00:51:23.417 --> 00:51:25.207 Just stop talking to him, okay? Leave him alone. 1102 00:51:25.294 --> 00:51:26.844 What is going on here? 1103 00:51:27.171 --> 00:51:29.381 Oh, my... Greatest. Okay. 1104 00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:31.590 You are Michelle Darnell. 1105 00:51:31.675 --> 00:51:32.875 Guilty as charged. 1106 00:51:33.010 --> 00:51:36.010 Oh, wow. I have two personal heroes in my life, 1107 00:51:36.054 --> 00:51:38.184 and I am staring at one of them right now. 1108 00:51:38.390 --> 00:51:40.770 - Oh, no. No touching. - No. 1109 00:51:41.018 --> 00:51:43.058 Curious to know who the other one is. 1110 00:51:43.145 --> 00:51:45.485 It's Benedict Cumberbatch, and you. 1111 00:51:46.023 --> 00:51:49.403 Huh. I did not peg you for a "Cumbersnatch." 1112 00:51:49.693 --> 00:51:51.403 That's me. Cumbersnatch. 1113 00:51:51.486 --> 00:51:52.856 You seem like a real Cumbersnatch. 1114 00:51:52.905 --> 00:51:54.705 Well, thank you so, so much. 1115 00:51:54.781 --> 00:51:55.871 You're welcome. Oh... 1116 00:51:56.491 --> 00:51:58.031 Thank you. Great encounter. 1117 00:51:58.118 --> 00:52:01.538 It's always fun. And I think I'm done with you. 1118 00:52:01.788 --> 00:52:05.418 Absolutely. And, madam, it was an honor. 1119 00:52:05.501 --> 00:52:07.591 - Off you go! - And here I am, okay. 1120 00:52:09.713 --> 00:52:10.713 Strange girl. 1121 00:52:12.257 --> 00:52:13.377 Okay. 1122 00:52:14.176 --> 00:52:18.006 Claire, if this company is going to work, I need you full time. 1123 00:52:18.055 --> 00:52:19.605 I can't have you here. 1124 00:52:20.265 --> 00:52:21.975 Are you in or are you out? 1125 00:52:22.059 --> 00:52:23.979 I can't just leave my job! 1126 00:52:24.061 --> 00:52:26.101 I mean, I have to have a steady income. 1127 00:52:26.188 --> 00:52:27.558 I have Rachel to think about. 1128 00:52:27.648 --> 00:52:30.068 No, no, no. This is for Rachel. Okay? 1129 00:52:30.108 --> 00:52:32.738 If this works out the way I know it's going to work out, 1130 00:52:32.778 --> 00:52:34.398 it's gonna set you two up for life. 1131 00:52:34.905 --> 00:52:36.075 We're already making enough money 1132 00:52:36.156 --> 00:52:37.816 to pay your rent and all your bills, 1133 00:52:37.908 --> 00:52:41.538 and I'm just about to put a very big fish on the hook as our investor. 1134 00:52:41.620 --> 00:52:42.790 This is what I do. 1135 00:52:42.871 --> 00:52:44.411 Okay? You know that. 1136 00:52:45.165 --> 00:52:46.785 You have to trust me. 1137 00:52:48.168 --> 00:52:49.838 I do hate this job. 1138 00:52:50.462 --> 00:52:52.302 I mean, it's a terrible job. 1139 00:52:53.090 --> 00:52:55.090 My God. I mean, look at him. 1140 00:52:55.551 --> 00:52:58.091 He's slumped over, asleep. I hope he's asleep. 1141 00:52:58.136 --> 00:52:59.846 You don't want to be that guy. 1142 00:53:00.597 --> 00:53:01.807 What do you say? 1143 00:53:03.517 --> 00:53:04.597 Okay. 1144 00:53:04.685 --> 00:53:06.565 Yes. I'm all in. 1145 00:53:06.603 --> 00:53:08.193 Dana, I quit. 1146 00:53:08.397 --> 00:53:10.437 I'm gonna start my own business, okay? 1147 00:53:10.482 --> 00:53:12.652 - I have my own business. - Yes, she does. 1148 00:53:12.734 --> 00:53:14.614 Guys, it was lovely here. 1149 00:53:14.653 --> 00:53:17.163 Not really, but I hope you all have a wonderful day. 1150 00:53:17.239 --> 00:53:19.449 Mike, would you still like to go on that date? 1151 00:53:19.533 --> 00:53:20.623 Uh, yes, I would. 1152 00:53:20.701 --> 00:53:23.121 I'm free tomorrow at 7:30. Bring your A-game. 1153 00:53:23.829 --> 00:53:26.459 Tracy? Wake up! I'm out! 1154 00:53:26.498 --> 00:53:28.208 Wake it up, Tracy! 1155 00:53:28.292 --> 00:53:29.292 - No. - No. 1156 00:53:29.376 --> 00:53:30.586 - No, thank you. - I'm so... 1157 00:53:30.794 --> 00:53:32.924 - Ooh. No. - I'm very flattered. 1158 00:53:34.631 --> 00:53:37.761 Seems like a good night for sexual activity, Claire. 1159 00:53:39.052 --> 00:53:42.102 How long has it been since you've had sexual activity? 1160 00:53:43.098 --> 00:53:46.978 Stop yelling "sexual activity." 'Cause Rachel might hear you. 1161 00:53:48.645 --> 00:53:52.015 You know, you're the one that's yelling "sexual activity" out in the hallway. 1162 00:53:52.316 --> 00:53:54.066 Just answer the question, Claire. 1163 00:53:54.151 --> 00:53:55.321 I don't know. 1164 00:53:55.402 --> 00:53:57.152 If I had to guess, 1165 00:53:57.487 --> 00:54:00.407 maybe four, five, six years? 1166 00:54:01.116 --> 00:54:03.656 What? Oh, my God. Did you take a vow? 1167 00:54:03.744 --> 00:54:06.004 It's very hard to find a good sitter. 1168 00:54:06.496 --> 00:54:08.576 Okay. We'll go with that. I just... 1169 00:54:08.665 --> 00:54:10.495 I'm gonna say, it probably doesn't help 1170 00:54:10.542 --> 00:54:13.252 that you're dressed like you grocery-shop at a CVS. 1171 00:54:13.921 --> 00:54:14.961 What? 1172 00:54:15.005 --> 00:54:16.335 I love this sweater. 1173 00:54:16.673 --> 00:54:18.053 I don't know why you would. 1174 00:54:18.133 --> 00:54:20.183 This sweater goes with everything. It's a neutral. 1175 00:54:20.302 --> 00:54:23.682 It doesn't go with you or your skin, or your face. 1176 00:54:23.931 --> 00:54:26.601 That sweater is the equivalent of a sandwich board 1177 00:54:26.683 --> 00:54:28.443 that just says, "I give up." 1178 00:54:28.519 --> 00:54:31.099 And then in the back, it says, "I never started tryin'." 1179 00:54:31.897 --> 00:54:33.517 It somewhat looks like you have 1180 00:54:33.607 --> 00:54:38.397 sewn together two very long, sad tube socks and then filled each end 1181 00:54:38.779 --> 00:54:41.739 with wet sand and rocks. 1182 00:54:41.823 --> 00:54:43.243 What are you talking about? 1183 00:54:43.325 --> 00:54:44.955 It just looks like two basset hounds 1184 00:54:45.077 --> 00:54:46.697 may have cried themselves to death 1185 00:54:46.787 --> 00:54:48.247 in your sweater. 1186 00:54:48.330 --> 00:54:50.710 I like it. I think this looks great. 1187 00:54:51.375 --> 00:54:52.505 Can I... 1188 00:54:52.543 --> 00:54:53.883 - Michelle! - Well... 1189 00:54:53.961 --> 00:54:55.091 - You are... - I had to check. 1190 00:54:55.170 --> 00:54:56.380 I didn't know what was in there. 1191 00:54:56.463 --> 00:54:58.593 You're making me feel very insecure right before my date. 1192 00:54:58.674 --> 00:54:59.764 Don't! 1193 00:54:59.842 --> 00:55:02.092 If your breasts could speak right now, 1194 00:55:02.177 --> 00:55:04.387 I think they'd be saying, "Claire, 1195 00:55:04.555 --> 00:55:06.725 "please don't zip me up in your jeans." 1196 00:55:06.807 --> 00:55:08.097 - That is... - You're gonna zip a nipple. 1197 00:55:08.183 --> 00:55:09.393 That's not what they'd say. 1198 00:55:09.476 --> 00:55:11.436 May I adjust your strap? 1199 00:55:11.520 --> 00:55:13.480 'Cause I'm trying to help you, Claire. 1200 00:55:13.564 --> 00:55:15.444 You say, "Be more helpful." And I'm trying to be helpful. 1201 00:55:15.566 --> 00:55:16.646 You can tighten the strap. 1202 00:55:16.733 --> 00:55:18.443 Okay. What... 1203 00:55:18.527 --> 00:55:20.197 Just a little, 'cause I want it... 1204 00:55:20.237 --> 00:55:21.447 What is that toggle? 1205 00:55:22.406 --> 00:55:23.696 Oh, it's a nursing bra. 1206 00:55:24.366 --> 00:55:26.576 Oh, my God. Are you still nursing Rachel? 1207 00:55:26.618 --> 00:55:30.038 No, it's from when she was a baby. But it's very comfortable. 1208 00:55:30.247 --> 00:55:32.247 That's not comfortable to see. 1209 00:55:32.332 --> 00:55:33.752 Now, let me see this. 1210 00:55:33.792 --> 00:55:34.922 It's very often a fit issue. 1211 00:55:36.920 --> 00:55:38.170 Why do these have so much pull? 1212 00:55:38.297 --> 00:55:39.547 All right, well... 1213 00:55:39.590 --> 00:55:42.340 Claire! It's like Geppetto! 1214 00:55:42.426 --> 00:55:44.676 Look at that. Look at this. It's like, "Horses, horses." 1215 00:55:44.761 --> 00:55:45.891 - It's like I'm... - Oh, my God. 1216 00:55:45.929 --> 00:55:47.509 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! 1217 00:55:47.598 --> 00:55:49.218 It feels good. I need to be comfortable. 1218 00:55:49.266 --> 00:55:51.226 It doesn't feel good to my eyes. 1219 00:55:51.268 --> 00:55:52.938 Can I just put 'em where they're supposed to be? 1220 00:55:52.978 --> 00:55:55.228 And I want you to be able to see the difference. 1221 00:55:55.272 --> 00:55:58.532 You got "Happy girl", and then, uh-oh. 1222 00:55:58.817 --> 00:55:59.937 They just drop out. 1223 00:56:00.527 --> 00:56:02.777 And I should not be able to separate... 1224 00:56:02.821 --> 00:56:03.951 - Okay. All right. - They're heavier, but... 1225 00:56:03.989 --> 00:56:05.989 So how do you like it when I just get in there and bang around? 1226 00:56:06.116 --> 00:56:07.616 - I love it. - Why is there not... 1227 00:56:07.910 --> 00:56:08.990 Oh, there's no give. 1228 00:56:09.077 --> 00:56:11.287 Look at that. I can't even feel that. 1229 00:56:11.371 --> 00:56:12.411 That's when you know... 1230 00:56:15.125 --> 00:56:17.335 I don't feel it, okay? 100% silicone. 1231 00:56:17.419 --> 00:56:20.299 And not the kind that's supposed to ever be inside the body. 1232 00:56:20.380 --> 00:56:22.010 I know. They're fantastic. 1233 00:56:22.090 --> 00:56:23.130 That's something else. 1234 00:56:23.217 --> 00:56:24.297 Might feel that. 1235 00:56:24.343 --> 00:56:25.513 That's my nipple. 1236 00:56:26.220 --> 00:56:28.300 - Yeah, they're up here, where they should be. - Oh, my God. 1237 00:56:28.388 --> 00:56:29.888 No, see, you need to bring 'em down. 1238 00:56:29.973 --> 00:56:31.603 No! They can't, anyway, no. 1239 00:56:31.642 --> 00:56:33.772 That's what you need to do. They're too high, Michelle. 1240 00:56:33.810 --> 00:56:35.150 - There's a structure. Stop. - No. 1241 00:56:35.187 --> 00:56:36.307 If we were... You need to... 1242 00:56:36.355 --> 00:56:38.235 - Look, just take 'em a little bit lower. - Oh, my God. 1243 00:56:38.315 --> 00:56:39.485 - How about that? - I paid a fortune for these. 1244 00:56:39.566 --> 00:56:40.776 - No, I'm gonna bring 'em... - I'm keepin' 'em up! 1245 00:56:40.817 --> 00:56:41.817 Just gonna push 'em right down. 1246 00:56:41.902 --> 00:56:42.902 I'm trying to help you not... 1247 00:56:42.986 --> 00:56:44.566 What're you guys doing? 1248 00:56:44.738 --> 00:56:46.028 Hey, there! 1249 00:56:46.114 --> 00:56:49.374 We're just... There was a... Probably a... 1250 00:56:49.451 --> 00:56:50.491 - I was... - Bugs. 1251 00:56:50.577 --> 00:56:54.617 We were jostling each other's bosoms like... 1252 00:56:54.915 --> 00:56:56.005 Gals do. 1253 00:56:56.083 --> 00:56:57.583 No, we weren't. 1254 00:56:57.668 --> 00:57:00.708 I was just trying to help your mom here get ready for her big date. 1255 00:57:00.796 --> 00:57:03.296 - I'm a little nervous. - She's a little bit nervous. 1256 00:57:03.340 --> 00:57:06.180 Always gotta stretch your boobs when you're nervous. 1257 00:57:07.427 --> 00:57:08.467 You should change. 1258 00:57:08.846 --> 00:57:10.966 That's your TV-watching sweater. 1259 00:57:11.598 --> 00:57:12.808 Thank you. 1260 00:57:13.475 --> 00:57:15.595 Okay. Thank you for that. 1261 00:57:15.686 --> 00:57:17.396 Okay, well, we're gonna leave you to it. 1262 00:57:17.479 --> 00:57:18.859 You can treat yourself to a little underwire 1263 00:57:18.939 --> 00:57:21.019 and something that doesn't look like you sell ceramics. 1264 00:57:21.108 --> 00:57:23.068 Let's go watch a movie. I'm babysitting. 1265 00:57:23.151 --> 00:57:25.201 - Have you seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre? - No. 1266 00:57:25.320 --> 00:57:27.030 I'm kidding! I'm not kidding. 1267 00:57:39.835 --> 00:57:41.045 Hi. 1268 00:57:41.211 --> 00:57:44.421 Hi. Oh, my God. You look gorgeous. 1269 00:57:44.506 --> 00:57:46.676 I'm wearing a bra, a new bra. It's not new. 1270 00:57:46.717 --> 00:57:48.637 It's old. I just haven't worn it in a while. 1271 00:57:48.719 --> 00:57:51.719 Hey, you know what, I went with an old bra tonight, too, so... 1272 00:57:52.681 --> 00:57:53.771 Let's get a table. 1273 00:57:53.891 --> 00:57:55.021 Absolutely. 1274 00:57:56.560 --> 00:57:59.850 I wanted to tell you earlier actually, on a serious note. 1275 00:58:00.522 --> 00:58:02.902 When you walked out the other day from work, 1276 00:58:02.941 --> 00:58:04.781 quite dramatically, I might add, 1277 00:58:04.860 --> 00:58:06.240 six other people quit. 1278 00:58:06.653 --> 00:58:08.493 - What? - Mmm-hmm. They just walked out. 1279 00:58:08.572 --> 00:58:10.282 - Oh, my God. - I know, right? 1280 00:58:10.407 --> 00:58:11.567 I started a chain reaction. 1281 00:58:11.658 --> 00:58:12.948 You started a huge chain reaction. 1282 00:58:13.035 --> 00:58:14.245 Six people walked out 1283 00:58:14.328 --> 00:58:15.908 and then immediately three people walked back inside. 1284 00:58:15.954 --> 00:58:17.254 I think they were outside smoking. 1285 00:58:17.539 --> 00:58:19.119 But it was like you were a cult leader. 1286 00:58:19.249 --> 00:58:20.829 It was like a tremendous show of support. 1287 00:58:20.918 --> 00:58:23.418 It was, like, very inspiring. 1288 00:58:23.837 --> 00:58:25.837 - Really? - Yeah, really. 1289 00:58:26.256 --> 00:58:27.666 Do you find that hard to believe? 1290 00:58:27.758 --> 00:58:30.468 - That I'm tremendously inspiring? - Yeah. 1291 00:58:30.552 --> 00:58:32.012 - Yeah, a bit. - Really? 1292 00:58:32.095 --> 00:58:33.675 Well, let me tell you something, lady. 1293 00:58:33.764 --> 00:58:36.104 You are more than a little inspiring. 1294 00:58:38.644 --> 00:58:40.854 I have been talking ad nauseam here. 1295 00:58:40.979 --> 00:58:43.189 Can you, uh, grab the mic for a sec? 1296 00:58:44.191 --> 00:58:46.111 Well, I, um... 1297 00:58:46.151 --> 00:58:48.781 I got knocked up in grad school by my TA. 1298 00:58:48.862 --> 00:58:50.072 When he found out I was pregnant, 1299 00:58:50.155 --> 00:58:51.905 he pretended like we didn't know each other. 1300 00:58:51.949 --> 00:58:53.779 - What? - Then gave me a "D." 1301 00:58:53.825 --> 00:58:55.235 - What? - Yeah, nice surprise. 1302 00:58:55.285 --> 00:58:56.325 Yeah. 1303 00:58:56.411 --> 00:58:58.201 But I got a great kid out of it. 1304 00:58:58.539 --> 00:58:59.709 I bet you're a great mom. 1305 00:58:59.831 --> 00:59:01.001 I try. 1306 00:59:01.083 --> 00:59:03.753 I mean, unless she is currently unsupervised. Then you're a horrible mom. 1307 00:59:03.794 --> 00:59:05.554 No, she's with Michelle. 1308 00:59:05.629 --> 00:59:07.209 - She's with Michelle? - Yes. 1309 00:59:07.297 --> 00:59:08.917 She's your felon babysitter. 1310 00:59:09.842 --> 00:59:12.142 Oh! Oh, my God! 1311 00:59:12.219 --> 00:59:14.299 Rachel, it's the goriest part! 1312 00:59:14.388 --> 00:59:16.638 It's the goriest part. You're missing it! 1313 00:59:16.682 --> 00:59:19.982 Oh, my God. He's killing her with a chainsaw. 1314 00:59:20.060 --> 00:59:21.190 Oh. 1315 00:59:21.645 --> 00:59:23.775 I have a felon watching my child. 1316 00:59:23.814 --> 00:59:24.984 That just occurred to you, didn't it? 1317 00:59:25.065 --> 00:59:26.315 - Yes, it did. - Yeah. 1318 00:59:26.400 --> 00:59:28.280 - It's good thing I'm here. - Let's have some more wine. 1319 00:59:28.652 --> 00:59:30.862 Absolutely, yeah. Hey, excuse me. 1320 00:59:31.154 --> 00:59:33.994 Hi. Do you think maybe we could get two more glasses of the... 1321 00:59:34.783 --> 00:59:36.333 No. Hold on. 1322 00:59:37.119 --> 00:59:39.079 Bring us a bottle of whatever the lady would like 1323 00:59:39.162 --> 00:59:41.922 in the twenty-five to twenty-eight dollar range. 1324 00:59:42.749 --> 00:59:45.249 Sure, I'll send somebody to Walgreens to get you something nice. 1325 00:59:45.335 --> 00:59:47.745 Cool. You guys do that? What's with that? 1326 00:59:47.838 --> 00:59:49.128 Oh, my God! 1327 00:59:50.007 --> 00:59:52.007 Is that like a really cheap bottle of wine? 1328 00:59:55.137 --> 00:59:57.967 You got a lot of balls showing up here, Darnell. 1329 00:59:58.682 --> 01:00:01.892 Listen, Ida, I know you're still mad at me, and I don't blame you. 1330 01:00:02.019 --> 01:00:04.019 I shouldn't have cut you out of that Emerson deal. 1331 01:00:04.062 --> 01:00:05.942 But if it makes it any better, 1332 01:00:06.023 --> 01:00:08.273 I made a blinding amount of money on that deal. 1333 01:00:10.485 --> 01:00:14.235 You know the first time I saw you? Twenty-three years old. 1334 01:00:14.323 --> 01:00:16.323 Yeah. I knew right away, 1335 01:00:16.658 --> 01:00:18.578 you were a tough, money-hungry, 1336 01:00:18.660 --> 01:00:21.710 self-serving, see-you-next-Tuesday gal 1337 01:00:21.747 --> 01:00:23.117 just like me. 1338 01:00:23.207 --> 01:00:27.377 And that's why I decided to mentor you. Just let you get too close. 1339 01:00:28.128 --> 01:00:30.508 I started to think of you as family. 1340 01:00:32.216 --> 01:00:34.546 Well, families are for suckers, right? 1341 01:00:35.260 --> 01:00:36.550 That's for sure. 1342 01:00:37.638 --> 01:00:39.468 What do you want, Michelle? 1343 01:00:39.556 --> 01:00:41.136 I need an investor. 1344 01:00:41.725 --> 01:00:43.515 Oh, for your little brownie venture? 1345 01:00:44.228 --> 01:00:46.098 How do you even know about that? 1346 01:00:46.480 --> 01:00:49.730 Because I'm Ida Marquette. I know everything. 1347 01:00:50.400 --> 01:00:51.400 Here. 1348 01:00:52.486 --> 01:00:53.736 Come on, Ida. 1349 01:00:53.820 --> 01:00:56.030 I'm sure you got quite an overhead on this glue factory here. 1350 01:00:56.073 --> 01:00:58.243 - Do you want in or not? - You know, 1351 01:00:59.993 --> 01:01:02.163 I once made love on a pool table 1352 01:01:02.246 --> 01:01:04.246 in Hot Coffee, Mississippi 1353 01:01:04.373 --> 01:01:07.253 with six members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 1354 01:01:08.544 --> 01:01:09.754 Are you stroking out? 1355 01:01:09.795 --> 01:01:13.135 What does this have to do with what we're talking about right now? 1356 01:01:13.298 --> 01:01:16.508 The point is, Darnell, I have very few regrets in my life. 1357 01:01:17.344 --> 01:01:20.394 But you... You were my best protégée. 1358 01:01:21.473 --> 01:01:22.473 Tell you what. 1359 01:01:22.558 --> 01:01:26.688 I'll back you, if this checks out. Just for old times' sake. 1360 01:01:26.937 --> 01:01:27.977 Okay. 1361 01:01:28.063 --> 01:01:29.613 If you'll excuse me, Shawshank, 1362 01:01:29.982 --> 01:01:31.982 I'm late for my morning ride. 1363 01:01:32.067 --> 01:01:33.227 Yes! 1364 01:01:34.278 --> 01:01:35.358 Okay. 1365 01:01:35.445 --> 01:01:37.105 You better make me a shitload of money. 1366 01:01:37.197 --> 01:01:38.657 Away, Butters! 1367 01:01:44.538 --> 01:01:46.248 Come on! Eat up, ladies. 1368 01:01:46.290 --> 01:01:47.670 This is a celebratory dinner. 1369 01:01:47.749 --> 01:01:49.379 We got our investor. 1370 01:01:49.459 --> 01:01:51.209 Okay. Here we go. 1371 01:01:53.338 --> 01:01:54.628 Hoo-hoo-hoo. 1372 01:01:54.756 --> 01:01:55.836 Look at this! 1373 01:01:56.216 --> 01:01:57.296 What is this? 1374 01:01:57.384 --> 01:02:00.474 Well, I feel it's time you become more adventurous. 1375 01:02:05.225 --> 01:02:06.975 Thank God! Pizza! 1376 01:02:07.227 --> 01:02:08.977 I know you don't like sushi. 1377 01:02:09.062 --> 01:02:10.942 Thank you, Michelle! I'm starving. 1378 01:02:11.356 --> 01:02:13.356 And fugu for the lady. 1379 01:02:13.734 --> 01:02:15.744 - Thank you, Ping. - Fugu? 1380 01:02:17.988 --> 01:02:20.528 The infamous pufferfish. 1381 01:02:20.616 --> 01:02:24.696 When prepared incorrectly, it can lead to paralysis or even death. 1382 01:02:24.786 --> 01:02:29.036 But when it is prepared correctly, it is like a volcano erupting in my mouth. 1383 01:02:29.124 --> 01:02:30.714 Let's hope for the second. 1384 01:02:35.672 --> 01:02:37.972 Oh, this is nice. Get in here, guys. 1385 01:02:38.008 --> 01:02:39.378 I don't wanna hog it all. 1386 01:02:39.927 --> 01:02:42.257 Michelle, are you all right? 1387 01:02:42.429 --> 01:02:47.599 When it's this perfect, it takes you to the brink of paralysis. 1388 01:02:47.684 --> 01:02:50.524 And then, at the last minute, it just lets you go. 1389 01:02:51.188 --> 01:02:53.148 Three, two... 1390 01:02:53.857 --> 01:02:54.977 Uh-oh. 1391 01:02:57.945 --> 01:02:59.245 Michelle? 1392 01:03:06.662 --> 01:03:09.332 - Whoo. - That's a very risky dish. 1393 01:03:09.373 --> 01:03:11.253 Oh, God. How long was I out? 1394 01:03:11.333 --> 01:03:12.923 Are you serious? Like 10 seconds. 1395 01:03:13.377 --> 01:03:14.417 Yeah. 1396 01:03:14.837 --> 01:03:16.297 It's a personal best. 1397 01:03:16.713 --> 01:03:18.053 I was thinking about having more. 1398 01:03:18.131 --> 01:03:20.181 All right, I think everybody's done with the fugu. 1399 01:03:20.217 --> 01:03:22.337 - I'm gonna tea it out, just for a second. - Yeah. 1400 01:03:22.386 --> 01:03:23.756 I made you something. 1401 01:03:23.846 --> 01:03:24.886 What? 1402 01:03:24.972 --> 01:03:27.392 I mean, I thought I should give it to you now 1403 01:03:27.432 --> 01:03:31.232 'cause you keep eating things that almost kill you. 1404 01:03:33.105 --> 01:03:34.735 I made the frame at school. 1405 01:03:40.237 --> 01:03:43.567 It's a nice frame, Rachel. You did a good job. 1406 01:03:43.907 --> 01:03:45.027 Thanks. 1407 01:03:45.075 --> 01:03:48.945 When I look at the picture, I just think we're like a weird family. 1408 01:03:52.708 --> 01:03:53.748 Okay. Ah. 1409 01:03:54.710 --> 01:03:58.090 Family? That's a little heavy-handed. 1410 01:03:59.131 --> 01:04:01.881 I think, you know, I'm not much into labeling. 1411 01:04:02.467 --> 01:04:04.587 You say "family," and we don't look alike. 1412 01:04:04.678 --> 01:04:08.308 I mean, I'm not even sure that you two look alike. 1413 01:04:08.390 --> 01:04:11.310 We'll have to do a blood test on you for that. 1414 01:04:11.435 --> 01:04:15.735 You know, it's funny, looking at this, I think what day is this? 1415 01:04:15.772 --> 01:04:19.902 'Cause I'm pretty sure I have a... 1416 01:04:20.402 --> 01:04:23.282 I have a previously scheduled thing. 1417 01:04:23.363 --> 01:04:25.283 I don't know what I was... You know. 1418 01:04:25.407 --> 01:04:27.947 Do what you do. I'm gonna do what I do. 1419 01:04:28.076 --> 01:04:29.446 I'll take care of the check. 1420 01:04:30.913 --> 01:04:31.913 I just... 1421 01:04:34.666 --> 01:04:35.916 What was that about? 1422 01:04:37.169 --> 01:04:40.339 I don't know, sweetie. I don't know. 1423 01:04:47.304 --> 01:04:50.274 Hi! Sorry, baby. Michelle was supposed to pick you up. 1424 01:04:50.307 --> 01:04:54.187 I know. I texted her like 500,000 times. 1425 01:05:03.612 --> 01:05:05.032 All of her stuff is gone. 1426 01:05:11.161 --> 01:05:14.831 "Thank you for letting me stay in your home. Sincerely, MD. 1427 01:05:14.915 --> 01:05:17.335 "P.S. I won't miss your couch." 1428 01:05:17.376 --> 01:05:18.746 That's impersonal. 1429 01:05:19.461 --> 01:05:20.671 A bit. 1430 01:05:21.338 --> 01:05:23.548 I shouldn't have given her that picture of us. 1431 01:05:23.632 --> 01:05:25.512 Sweetie, she loved your picture. 1432 01:05:25.551 --> 01:05:30.011 No, come on. She left because it was her time to leave. 1433 01:05:30.097 --> 01:05:32.017 Michelle is a redhead and a Scorpio. 1434 01:05:32.099 --> 01:05:34.429 It's a very impulsive combo. 1435 01:05:37.479 --> 01:05:40.359 These little bites of goodness are puttin' kids in college... 1436 01:05:40.440 --> 01:05:41.440 Yes. 1437 01:05:41.525 --> 01:05:44.155 ...are giving young women in this country a business plan 1438 01:05:44.194 --> 01:05:46.654 and the thought in their head of like, "Yes, I can." 1439 01:05:46.697 --> 01:05:47.857 Is she picking up? 1440 01:05:47.906 --> 01:05:50.076 And if you buy four sets, you get this adorable wagon. 1441 01:05:52.494 --> 01:05:54.754 No. It's her voicemail. 1442 01:06:03.839 --> 01:06:06.759 I got 'em! I got 'em! 1443 01:06:17.519 --> 01:06:18.899 These are going to be huge. 1444 01:06:25.027 --> 01:06:27.237 How does she do it? I want in. 1445 01:06:27.779 --> 01:06:28.949 More milk. 1446 01:06:29.031 --> 01:06:31.741 No, I'm feeling reckless. I want to do it myself this time. 1447 01:06:34.995 --> 01:06:36.045 Ah. 1448 01:06:36.079 --> 01:06:37.329 Good job. 1449 01:06:39.166 --> 01:06:41.996 It's just, a little common courtesy would be nice, you know? 1450 01:06:42.085 --> 01:06:43.585 If she ever returned my calls, 1451 01:06:43.670 --> 01:06:46.260 I would know about these press days in the middle of nowhere. 1452 01:06:46.298 --> 01:06:47.378 Mom, look! 1453 01:06:48.383 --> 01:06:50.143 Congratulations, Claire. 1454 01:06:53.722 --> 01:06:55.772 Honey, why don't you, um, go on inside, 1455 01:06:55.891 --> 01:06:57.931 just look both ways before you cross, okay? 1456 01:06:58.018 --> 01:06:59.018 Okay. 1457 01:07:01.605 --> 01:07:02.985 What're you doing here? 1458 01:07:04.775 --> 01:07:07.655 Looks like you and Michelle have built yourself quite a little empire. 1459 01:07:09.446 --> 01:07:10.446 What do you want? 1460 01:07:10.531 --> 01:07:13.951 I want to take what Michelle Darnell has built. 1461 01:07:14.034 --> 01:07:16.624 I want her to realize that I have taken it away. 1462 01:07:16.703 --> 01:07:20.293 And when she realizes it, when that moment of realization crosses her face, 1463 01:07:20.374 --> 01:07:22.334 and she realizes that I have realized it as well... 1464 01:07:22.417 --> 01:07:23.417 I've lost my train of thought. 1465 01:07:23.460 --> 01:07:24.500 Yeah, I'm not following. 1466 01:07:24.586 --> 01:07:26.166 I want the fucking company, Claire. 1467 01:07:27.548 --> 01:07:29.008 It's only a matter of time 1468 01:07:29.091 --> 01:07:31.221 before Michelle Darnell screws you over. 1469 01:07:31.385 --> 01:07:32.395 So get in there. 1470 01:07:32.469 --> 01:07:34.469 I see you eyein' those brownies. 1471 01:07:34.555 --> 01:07:35.815 Let's have some bites. Go ahead. 1472 01:07:35.889 --> 01:07:36.889 They're not gonna bite you. 1473 01:07:36.974 --> 01:07:38.354 You're gonna bite them. 1474 01:07:38.433 --> 01:07:39.643 Let's get a shot of those. 1475 01:07:54.992 --> 01:07:56.832 Huh, pretty good stuff, right? 1476 01:08:02.666 --> 01:08:04.996 Oh, my God. 1477 01:08:05.085 --> 01:08:06.335 Oh, amazing! 1478 01:08:06.753 --> 01:08:09.513 This is Chrystal. It's one of the Darnell originals. 1479 01:08:09.548 --> 01:08:11.218 She's a giant. Huh? 1480 01:08:11.300 --> 01:08:13.180 I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I have eyes. 1481 01:08:13.218 --> 01:08:15.048 Isn't that fun? Come on with me. 1482 01:08:15.137 --> 01:08:17.007 I got a surprise for all of you guys... 1483 01:08:17.139 --> 01:08:19.019 I think you're gonna be very excited about. 1484 01:08:19.099 --> 01:08:22.189 I'd like to present the new Darnell Darlings' mascot! 1485 01:08:22.269 --> 01:08:23.309 Hit it! 1486 01:08:25.189 --> 01:08:26.859 Take some snaps of this. I know you want to. 1487 01:08:26.940 --> 01:08:28.230 It's a phoenix. 1488 01:08:28.317 --> 01:08:29.317 Michelle. 1489 01:08:29.359 --> 01:08:31.149 You get in there. I know you're not shy. 1490 01:08:31.236 --> 01:08:32.276 What is this? 1491 01:08:33.447 --> 01:08:35.657 It's a phoenix, Claire. It's my totem animal. 1492 01:08:35.699 --> 01:08:39.909 Okay. So you leased a commercial kitchen without telling me? 1493 01:08:39.995 --> 01:08:42.625 Yes. I'm kind of waiting for a, "Thank you, Michelle!" 1494 01:08:42.706 --> 01:08:44.956 Wow, um. I'm having a hard time with the "thank you" 1495 01:08:45.042 --> 01:08:48.712 because you also hired all of these people without consulting me. 1496 01:08:48.795 --> 01:08:52.045 I do know that you've been complaining pretty consistently 1497 01:08:52.132 --> 01:08:54.552 about having to do all the baking and doing it at your house. 1498 01:08:54.635 --> 01:08:55.725 I fixed all that for ya. 1499 01:08:55.761 --> 01:08:56.891 And you're more mad than ever. 1500 01:08:56.970 --> 01:08:58.260 - I don't get it, Claire. - You didn't... 1501 01:08:58.347 --> 01:09:00.887 Michelle, you didn't consult me on any of this, okay? 1502 01:09:00.974 --> 01:09:02.234 I see a bunch of press. 1503 01:09:02.309 --> 01:09:04.769 One of us, not you, got the press here. 1504 01:09:04.853 --> 01:09:05.853 Right. Okay. 1505 01:09:05.896 --> 01:09:07.396 Well, maybe they should know that 1506 01:09:07.523 --> 01:09:09.023 the new and improved Michelle Darnell 1507 01:09:09.066 --> 01:09:12.236 is just as self-centered and egotistical as the old Michelle Darnell. 1508 01:09:12.319 --> 01:09:14.239 - Really? Do you wanna do this? - Sure! 1509 01:09:14.279 --> 01:09:15.529 - 'Cause I would love to do this. - Great. 1510 01:09:15.572 --> 01:09:16.572 You follow me. 1511 01:09:16.657 --> 01:09:18.237 I will follow you, from the front. 1512 01:09:18.283 --> 01:09:20.413 - No, not from the front. From the back! - Yes! 1513 01:09:20.911 --> 01:09:22.751 Don't put your arm in front of me! 1514 01:09:22.788 --> 01:09:24.078 You can't tell me what to do! 1515 01:09:24.122 --> 01:09:25.752 You're not my boss anymore! 1516 01:09:25.832 --> 01:09:27.542 We are partners, 50-50, 1517 01:09:27.584 --> 01:09:29.594 and you can't make decisions without telling me! 1518 01:09:29.795 --> 01:09:31.675 We are not partners, Claire! 1519 01:09:31.755 --> 01:09:33.085 I am a successful businesswoman. 1520 01:09:33.173 --> 01:09:36.473 You are a lonely woman who can make a halfway decent brownie! 1521 01:09:36.552 --> 01:09:38.602 And we all have our little secrets, Claire. Right? 1522 01:09:38.637 --> 01:09:41.427 You double-crossing, hand-holding, sneaky little rat! 1523 01:09:41.473 --> 01:09:42.723 What are you talking about? 1524 01:09:42.766 --> 01:09:44.386 God, I can't believe I helped you! 1525 01:09:44.434 --> 01:09:46.644 I took you in off the street, okay? 1526 01:09:46.728 --> 01:09:47.938 When no one else would. 1527 01:09:48.021 --> 01:09:49.811 You are such a cliché. 1528 01:09:49.898 --> 01:09:52.938 Okay? You're getting close to people so now you have to push them away. 1529 01:09:52.985 --> 01:09:55.205 Okay, don't analyze me, Dr. Phil! 1530 01:09:55.279 --> 01:09:56.989 Why're you guys doing this? 1531 01:09:57.614 --> 01:09:59.284 Rachel, you know what, just go inside, honey. 1532 01:09:59.366 --> 01:10:02.036 No! No! You do not tell my daughter what to do. 1533 01:10:02.119 --> 01:10:03.999 And you know what? Don't ever speak to her again. 1534 01:10:04.079 --> 01:10:05.869 Mom, why would you say that? 1535 01:10:07.958 --> 01:10:12.798 It's fine, Rachel, just... Girls, go inside! Now! 1536 01:10:14.882 --> 01:10:16.592 You know what? I don't need this. 1537 01:10:16.633 --> 01:10:17.933 I don't need that. 1538 01:10:18.468 --> 01:10:19.468 I don't need any of it. 1539 01:10:19.803 --> 01:10:22.183 Let's see how far your brownie recipe takes you. 1540 01:10:23.056 --> 01:10:25.596 I'm cutting you loose and sailin' off! 1541 01:10:25.893 --> 01:10:27.813 I don't need you two weighing me down! 1542 01:10:29.146 --> 01:10:30.306 Rachel! 1543 01:10:30.439 --> 01:10:31.439 Rachel? 1544 01:10:48.332 --> 01:10:51.082 You're the only one that's gonna take care of you. 1545 01:10:51.502 --> 01:10:52.592 The only one. 1546 01:10:54.838 --> 01:10:56.838 Excuse me, you can't just go in there! 1547 01:10:56.882 --> 01:10:58.012 Watch me. 1548 01:10:58.842 --> 01:11:00.222 Hi, Ronald! 1549 01:11:00.552 --> 01:11:03.182 Ooh, I like your new bitches. 1550 01:11:03.222 --> 01:11:05.312 I saw you sniffing around my bakery. 1551 01:11:05.349 --> 01:11:07.519 You looking to get into the brownie business? 1552 01:11:07.559 --> 01:11:10.309 Why? Are you looking to sell your business? 1553 01:11:10.354 --> 01:11:11.354 Why not? 1554 01:11:11.813 --> 01:11:15.153 I have no personal stakes in it. It's just business to me. 1555 01:11:15.192 --> 01:11:17.322 And you've always liked collecting my things. 1556 01:11:25.619 --> 01:11:28.159 Okay. And since this one's coconut macadamia, 1557 01:11:28.205 --> 01:11:30.085 if you have a nut allergy, I don't want you anywhere near... 1558 01:11:30.165 --> 01:11:31.665 When's Michelle coming back? 1559 01:11:31.708 --> 01:11:32.958 I don't know, Chrystal. 1560 01:11:33.043 --> 01:11:34.343 She's like our leader. 1561 01:11:34.378 --> 01:11:36.168 My mom's gonna run this place. 1562 01:11:36.213 --> 01:11:38.593 Yes, I will be running the business 1563 01:11:39.132 --> 01:11:41.892 until Michelle comes back, or... 1564 01:11:41.927 --> 01:11:43.887 Knock, knock. Hi, it's Stephan! 1565 01:11:44.513 --> 01:11:48.893 Hi! I have a message from the new owner of Darnell's Darlings, 1566 01:11:49.017 --> 01:11:50.387 Mr. Renault. 1567 01:11:50.686 --> 01:11:52.056 Uh, sorry, I think there's a mistake. 1568 01:11:52.145 --> 01:11:53.685 I'm one of the owners here. 1569 01:11:54.189 --> 01:11:56.319 This is an eviction notice. 1570 01:11:59.444 --> 01:12:00.654 She sold us out? 1571 01:12:01.530 --> 01:12:02.740 How could she do that? 1572 01:12:02.823 --> 01:12:04.243 Oh, she just did it. 1573 01:12:04.324 --> 01:12:05.874 Okay, let's kick this guy's ass! 1574 01:12:05.909 --> 01:12:07.039 Hey, shit brains! 1575 01:12:07.077 --> 01:12:08.197 Chrystal! 1576 01:12:08.245 --> 01:12:09.705 Protect me. Protect me. 1577 01:12:09.746 --> 01:12:11.996 This is not cowardice. She's very tall! 1578 01:12:15.752 --> 01:12:17.922 Really wish you'd let me kick his ass. 1579 01:12:29.558 --> 01:12:32.808 You know what? It was a good business decision. 1580 01:12:33.854 --> 01:12:36.904 Don't start feelin' bad about good... 1581 01:12:39.610 --> 01:12:41.110 Good decisions. 1582 01:12:42.404 --> 01:12:44.864 Why would Michelle do that to us? 1583 01:12:45.449 --> 01:12:47.159 I just don't get it. 1584 01:12:51.246 --> 01:12:56.166 Well, you know, sweetie, Michelle has got a lot of baggage. 1585 01:12:58.378 --> 01:13:00.008 She's an asshole. 1586 01:13:00.797 --> 01:13:02.217 Language. 1587 01:13:02.299 --> 01:13:03.299 Sorry. 1588 01:13:04.885 --> 01:13:08.355 But you're right. She is an asshole. 1589 01:13:11.850 --> 01:13:14.390 Darnell, you are a real asshole. 1590 01:13:29.910 --> 01:13:31.200 Piece of shit. 1591 01:13:59.523 --> 01:14:00.523 I know what I'm gonna do. 1592 01:14:00.774 --> 01:14:02.694 - I'm gonna sue the pants off her. - Oh... 1593 01:14:02.734 --> 01:14:05.494 No, I'm not because she'll throw too many lawyers at me 1594 01:14:05.529 --> 01:14:07.659 and she's a shark in court. 1595 01:14:07.698 --> 01:14:09.948 Yeah. This is a test. 1596 01:14:10.284 --> 01:14:12.244 You want me to kill her with this bagel knife. 1597 01:14:12.327 --> 01:14:13.617 And I'll do it. 1598 01:14:13.704 --> 01:14:16.214 To pledge my allegiance to you, milady, I'll do it. 1599 01:14:16.248 --> 01:14:17.748 No. Thank you. 1600 01:14:19.001 --> 01:14:20.381 Ooh, you guys are kissing. 1601 01:14:20.836 --> 01:14:23.206 - Heya, Rachel! Hi. How are you? - Hi. 1602 01:14:23.255 --> 01:14:25.265 - Did you sleep over? - Oh, God, no. 1603 01:14:25.382 --> 01:14:26.842 What, have a sleepover here? Ew. 1604 01:14:26.884 --> 01:14:28.054 - No, he didn't. - Yuck! 1605 01:14:28.135 --> 01:14:30.185 - No, that would be terrible. - I don't know about "yuck". 1606 01:14:30.304 --> 01:14:31.354 I don't mean "yuck." I meant... 1607 01:14:31.430 --> 01:14:33.220 - Don't know if it'll... - I mean... 1608 01:14:33.265 --> 01:14:35.145 - It could be nice. - Might be nice. 1609 01:14:35.225 --> 01:14:37.265 - It's nice for people to spend the night. - We don't know yet. 1610 01:14:37.352 --> 01:14:39.232 - We don't know yet. - We don't know yet. 1611 01:14:39.730 --> 01:14:42.070 Would you please grab some more garbage bags? 1612 01:14:42.149 --> 01:14:43.649 We have a lot of trash. 1613 01:14:43.734 --> 01:14:44.864 Yeah. 1614 01:14:45.068 --> 01:14:46.698 Why did I make that so weird? 1615 01:14:46.737 --> 01:14:47.897 - It's fine. - Didn't have to. 1616 01:14:47.946 --> 01:14:49.406 Didn't have to make it that weird. 1617 01:14:50.157 --> 01:14:52.447 - Holy shit! - Language! 1618 01:14:53.994 --> 01:14:55.414 Holy shit! 1619 01:14:55.579 --> 01:14:56.789 Uh... 1620 01:14:57.414 --> 01:15:00.334 This is all seeming probably so much 1621 01:15:00.459 --> 01:15:03.379 stranger than what I had intended. 1622 01:15:03.420 --> 01:15:06.260 I'm sorry to startle you, Rachel. 1623 01:15:06.340 --> 01:15:08.430 What are you doing in my closet? 1624 01:15:08.509 --> 01:15:11.089 Well, uh, to give you the whole... 1625 01:15:11.136 --> 01:15:13.846 I thought I have a great idea 1626 01:15:13.931 --> 01:15:17.021 to surprise you with an apology, 1627 01:15:17.100 --> 01:15:19.560 and my sincere "I'm sorry." 1628 01:15:19.603 --> 01:15:22.983 So I let myself in, in the middle of the night. 1629 01:15:23.065 --> 01:15:25.445 So once I was actually waiting here in the dark, 1630 01:15:25.484 --> 01:15:28.114 and you were getting up for the morning, I thought, "Uh-oh. 1631 01:15:28.153 --> 01:15:30.783 "This could seem kind of threatening and menacing." 1632 01:15:30.864 --> 01:15:32.624 And I panicked a little bit 1633 01:15:32.658 --> 01:15:35.618 and just darted into the closet. 1634 01:15:36.203 --> 01:15:40.293 So, surprise! I'm sorry. 1635 01:15:40.374 --> 01:15:43.844 And, dang it, I shouldn't have sold that company. 1636 01:15:45.003 --> 01:15:46.883 I think we're done. Okay, well... 1637 01:15:46.964 --> 01:15:50.434 You know... So thank you, I guess, for breaking into my home. 1638 01:15:50.467 --> 01:15:51.927 I said I was sorry. 1639 01:15:51.969 --> 01:15:54.009 Great. We heard you. Okay. 1640 01:15:54.096 --> 01:15:55.926 - I apologized. - I heard you. 1641 01:15:56.306 --> 01:15:57.636 There's the door. 1642 01:16:02.145 --> 01:16:03.475 You sold us out. 1643 01:16:04.481 --> 01:16:05.611 Yeah, I did. 1644 01:16:05.983 --> 01:16:10.203 I sold you out. And I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. 1645 01:16:10.279 --> 01:16:14.949 And I'm hoping, somehow, you can forgive me. 1646 01:16:14.992 --> 01:16:20.122 And I just wanna throw it out there that I have completely forgiven you, Claire, 1647 01:16:20.163 --> 01:16:23.923 for trying to sell me out first with Renault so... 1648 01:16:24.668 --> 01:16:26.668 What are you talking about? 1649 01:16:26.712 --> 01:16:27.752 I saw you. 1650 01:16:28.255 --> 01:16:32.095 Okay? I saw you and Ronald outside the bakery. 1651 01:16:32.176 --> 01:16:33.506 He was smelling your hand 1652 01:16:33.552 --> 01:16:35.972 and I know what that means, okay? 1653 01:16:36.096 --> 01:16:39.136 I mean, he has smelled many of my parts, 1654 01:16:40.017 --> 01:16:43.477 and I have smelled many of his parts. 1655 01:16:43.854 --> 01:16:46.694 I was telling Renault that I'm not willing 1656 01:16:46.857 --> 01:16:49.687 to sell him a single, solitary brownie, 1657 01:16:49.735 --> 01:16:51.705 let alone my entire company. 1658 01:16:53.822 --> 01:16:55.782 That's a mix-up, huh? 1659 01:16:56.074 --> 01:17:00.704 Michelle, I would never in a million years do that to you, okay? 1660 01:17:00.746 --> 01:17:03.866 You know... I mean, God. What goes on in your brain? 1661 01:17:03.916 --> 01:17:05.036 I don't know. 1662 01:17:05.375 --> 01:17:08.745 I mean, I don't have a lot of, 1663 01:17:10.380 --> 01:17:14.760 you know, experience or a reference point for... 1664 01:17:14.843 --> 01:17:17.973 I didn't have a family, or a mom, or a dad. 1665 01:17:18.055 --> 01:17:22.275 And I totally get it if you never talk to me again. 1666 01:17:22.684 --> 01:17:25.404 So I don't want you to feel bad about that. 1667 01:17:25.479 --> 01:17:28.569 I just wanted you to know that I think you're very nice people. 1668 01:17:29.066 --> 01:17:31.226 Great people, actually. 1669 01:17:31.318 --> 01:17:35.358 You're the closest thing to a family I've ever had. 1670 01:17:35.405 --> 01:17:40.195 And I'm real sorry I screwed that up. 1671 01:17:42.746 --> 01:17:44.536 I'm gonna miss you, Michelle. 1672 01:17:46.792 --> 01:17:47.792 Should I go? 1673 01:17:49.086 --> 01:17:51.336 I think I should go. 1674 01:17:51.421 --> 01:17:52.711 - Oh, my God. - It's an awkward time for me 1675 01:17:52.756 --> 01:17:54.416 to just be, like, creeping around in the background. 1676 01:17:54.508 --> 01:17:56.428 I had no idea you were still here. 1677 01:17:56.510 --> 01:17:58.140 - Should I go, or should I... - No, you're fine. 1678 01:17:58.220 --> 01:17:59.640 I do not like what you did. 1679 01:18:00.347 --> 01:18:04.177 I do not like it! And I do not like it. 1680 01:18:04.810 --> 01:18:06.980 She really doesn't like it, guys. 1681 01:18:08.856 --> 01:18:09.856 You know, I... 1682 01:18:10.566 --> 01:18:15.106 If anyone's curious, I do think I know how to fix this. 1683 01:18:16.029 --> 01:18:18.869 I signed that contract with Renault late Friday night. 1684 01:18:18.949 --> 01:18:21.949 I wanna remind you I was wounded, I was a little tipsy. 1685 01:18:22.035 --> 01:18:23.615 - Oh, God. - Okay. 1686 01:18:24.079 --> 01:18:27.329 And it's Sunday. No one will be in his offices. 1687 01:18:27.416 --> 01:18:29.786 Plus, he can't file for a corporate change of ownership 1688 01:18:29.877 --> 01:18:31.747 until tomorrow morning. 1689 01:18:32.004 --> 01:18:33.254 I can get in there tonight, 1690 01:18:33.297 --> 01:18:36.377 I can get that contract, and I can take our company back. 1691 01:18:36.633 --> 01:18:38.133 Wait, what do you mean "get the contract"? 1692 01:18:38.177 --> 01:18:40.507 He must have scanned and emailed it a hundred times by now. 1693 01:18:40.596 --> 01:18:43.216 No, no, no. Anybody else, yes, but not him. 1694 01:18:43.307 --> 01:18:46.517 Ronald is completely paranoid about being hacked. Okay? 1695 01:18:46.602 --> 01:18:51.152 He has no cell phones, no emails. He leaves no digital trail. 1696 01:18:51.190 --> 01:18:53.480 Claire knows this. He's all old-school pen and paper. 1697 01:18:53.567 --> 01:18:54.937 It's the samurai way. 1698 01:18:55.444 --> 01:18:58.284 Okay, I'm in. Let's do this. I'm in. 1699 01:18:58.322 --> 01:18:59.572 Why would you be in? 1700 01:18:59.656 --> 01:19:01.066 What do you mean why would I be in? 1701 01:19:01.158 --> 01:19:02.158 You've been talking all morning about 1702 01:19:02.242 --> 01:19:03.992 how you wanted to get your company back. 1703 01:19:04.077 --> 01:19:06.827 And you guys are gonna need help, and I'm a helpful guy. 1704 01:19:06.914 --> 01:19:08.254 How's that for a reason? 1705 01:19:08.790 --> 01:19:10.170 You're gonna get rewarded for that. 1706 01:19:10.209 --> 01:19:12.339 Well, that's not why I did it. 1707 01:19:12.794 --> 01:19:14.844 - I'm in, too. - No, Claire. 1708 01:19:14.922 --> 01:19:17.012 This is my fault and I'm gonna fix it. 1709 01:19:17.090 --> 01:19:18.970 Michelle, this is my decision. 1710 01:19:19.009 --> 01:19:20.429 And I want our company back. 1711 01:19:20.511 --> 01:19:22.011 Yes, Claire. 1712 01:19:22.095 --> 01:19:23.965 All right, let's fuck this shit up. 1713 01:19:24.056 --> 01:19:26.176 - Language. - Sorry. I'm sorry. 1714 01:19:26.975 --> 01:19:28.475 I need to get a sitter. 1715 01:19:29.144 --> 01:19:30.404 Yeah, you do. 1716 01:19:32.481 --> 01:19:34.941 As soon as we get out I want you to grab the gasoline, 1717 01:19:35.025 --> 01:19:36.395 some rags, and torch the van. 1718 01:19:36.485 --> 01:19:37.575 What are you talking about? 1719 01:19:37.653 --> 01:19:39.073 I rented the van. It's on my credit card. 1720 01:19:39.154 --> 01:19:40.414 You go down, you go down alone. 1721 01:19:40.489 --> 01:19:42.119 How would we even get home? 1722 01:19:42.199 --> 01:19:43.989 That's a good point. MVP, Claire. 1723 01:19:44.076 --> 01:19:47.536 Uh-oh. There's no door handle back here. There's absolutely... Oh. 1724 01:19:47.913 --> 01:19:49.583 Thank you, Claire. 1725 01:19:50.123 --> 01:19:52.293 Okay. I still don't think you should be here. 1726 01:19:52.376 --> 01:19:53.376 But if we get caught, 1727 01:19:53.502 --> 01:19:55.752 I want you to tell the police that I forced you here by gun. 1728 01:19:55.838 --> 01:19:57.008 You gotta watch out for Rachel. 1729 01:19:57.047 --> 01:19:58.917 Okay. You don't have a gun, though, right? 1730 01:19:59.007 --> 01:20:00.877 - What am I, a thug? - Okay. 1731 01:20:00.926 --> 01:20:03.506 I'm such a badass! This is gonna be amazing! 1732 01:20:03.595 --> 01:20:05.885 Also, by the way, guys, I was googling jail sentences. 1733 01:20:05.973 --> 01:20:08.183 Since none of us are actually armed, minimal jail time. 1734 01:20:10.686 --> 01:20:12.806 Oops. Just excuse me for one minute. 1735 01:20:12.896 --> 01:20:13.936 Michelle! 1736 01:20:14.064 --> 01:20:15.194 Well, it's a collector's item. 1737 01:20:15.899 --> 01:20:16.899 Ditch it. 1738 01:20:18.277 --> 01:20:19.777 Chuckin' a gun in a garbage can. That's smart. 1739 01:20:19.862 --> 01:20:20.862 - What? - Oh, my God. 1740 01:20:20.904 --> 01:20:23.114 Okay! I know it was wrong. I self-corrected. 1741 01:20:23.198 --> 01:20:25.078 No, you didn't. I just asked you to throw... 1742 01:20:25.158 --> 01:20:27.448 Well, you made me throw it away. Okay. 1743 01:20:28.412 --> 01:20:30.332 Okay, there it is. Renault Enterprises. 1744 01:20:31.582 --> 01:20:35.382 The contract is probably in his private office, which is at the top of the building. 1745 01:20:35.419 --> 01:20:37.499 I'm guessing there's a safe, could be in the wall. 1746 01:20:37.588 --> 01:20:39.798 Could be behind one of those creepy paintings. 1747 01:20:39.882 --> 01:20:41.762 There's one guard on duty tonight. 1748 01:20:41.925 --> 01:20:43.465 Mike, I need you to distract the guard 1749 01:20:43.552 --> 01:20:46.302 while Claire lumbers in, and I follow behind like a cougar. 1750 01:20:47.055 --> 01:20:48.555 Okay, next, we head upstairs. 1751 01:20:48.599 --> 01:20:50.099 Claire, I'm gonna give you a head start 1752 01:20:50.184 --> 01:20:52.484 'cause I'm gonna take those motherfuckers 10 at a time. 1753 01:20:52.561 --> 01:20:55.151 You stand there with your mouth hangin' open, and pointin', 1754 01:20:55.230 --> 01:20:56.940 and I'll slide into home base. 1755 01:20:58.025 --> 01:21:00.035 Mike, I need you to distract the guard 1756 01:21:00.152 --> 01:21:02.152 by coming from the east, turning him around, 1757 01:21:02.237 --> 01:21:04.317 so when we approach, while you're sucking his dick, 1758 01:21:04.406 --> 01:21:05.816 we can get right past him. 1759 01:21:05.908 --> 01:21:07.278 So under no circumstances... 1760 01:21:07.326 --> 01:21:08.906 I'm sucking his what? 1761 01:21:09.161 --> 01:21:10.291 You're sucking his dick. 1762 01:21:10.370 --> 01:21:11.960 - I'm sucking his dick? - Oh. 1763 01:21:12.164 --> 01:21:13.334 Well, I'm not gonna suck his dick. 1764 01:21:13.415 --> 01:21:16.245 I'm the brains behind it. The brains never sucks the dick. 1765 01:21:16.335 --> 01:21:18.385 - Why am I sucking his dick? - I don't wanna suck his dick! 1766 01:21:18.462 --> 01:21:20.462 Claire doesn't wanna suck his dick! 1767 01:21:20.547 --> 01:21:22.757 How 'bout none of us suck that man's penis? 1768 01:21:22.799 --> 01:21:24.299 Yeah, what if nobody sucks his dick? 1769 01:21:24.384 --> 01:21:25.514 No dick suckin'. 1770 01:21:26.470 --> 01:21:28.600 Well, I worked on that plan a long time. 1771 01:21:28.639 --> 01:21:30.639 Fine. Fine, let's go to plan B. 1772 01:21:30.724 --> 01:21:32.144 Yeah, that sounds good. 1773 01:21:32.184 --> 01:21:34.944 If you're gonna be a baby and not suck dick, that's fine with me. 1774 01:21:48.659 --> 01:21:50.449 - Hey, there. - Hey! How you doing? 1775 01:21:50.494 --> 01:21:54.334 Is this 9800 Michigan? I'm late for a birthday party. 1776 01:21:54.414 --> 01:21:56.044 No, this is 9900. 1777 01:21:56.124 --> 01:21:57.714 - This is 9900? - Yeah. 1778 01:21:57.793 --> 01:21:58.963 - Well, wouldn't you know it? - Yeah. 1779 01:21:59.002 --> 01:22:00.172 Why are you dressed like that? 1780 01:22:00.254 --> 01:22:01.424 What are you dressed as? 1781 01:22:01.505 --> 01:22:02.515 I'm glad you asked me. 1782 01:22:02.589 --> 01:22:05.469 I am actually a demon. I'm a phoenix. 1783 01:22:07.344 --> 01:22:08.604 Pretty cool, right? 1784 01:22:09.137 --> 01:22:10.177 Are you into demons? 1785 01:22:10.973 --> 01:22:13.063 Yeah. I know a fair amount. 1786 01:22:13.141 --> 01:22:14.231 That is very cool. 1787 01:22:14.309 --> 01:22:15.809 You can touch the feathers if you want. 1788 01:22:15.853 --> 01:22:18.193 Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. It was a demon. 1789 01:22:18.272 --> 01:22:21.522 It's actually pronounced Quetzalcóatl. 1790 01:22:21.567 --> 01:22:22.897 He's talking too much. 1791 01:22:22.985 --> 01:22:25.405 He'd be a lot quieter with a penis in his mouth. 1792 01:22:25.946 --> 01:22:27.156 - I'm into demons. - You are? 1793 01:22:27.197 --> 01:22:28.367 - Yeah. - I think you said that. 1794 01:22:28.407 --> 01:22:30.157 I really am. I do a lot of fantasy role-play. 1795 01:22:30.200 --> 01:22:31.660 That's so weird. 1796 01:22:31.702 --> 01:22:33.542 Yeah, gets a little boring in here sometimes. 1797 01:22:33.579 --> 01:22:35.249 - I bet. - I whistle. 1798 01:22:35.330 --> 01:22:36.960 - You whistle? - I whistle a lot in here. 1799 01:22:37.040 --> 01:22:38.120 - Let's hear some. - Yeah. 1800 01:22:43.547 --> 01:22:45.257 Why is that one whistling? 1801 01:22:47.384 --> 01:22:48.724 Just kind of holding that one note. 1802 01:22:48.802 --> 01:22:51.972 Yeah, I like to do that. I like to play with bars and structures, things like that. 1803 01:22:52.055 --> 01:22:53.885 You got a real hefty lung capacity there. 1804 01:22:53.932 --> 01:22:55.432 I never got your name. 1805 01:22:55.517 --> 01:22:58.807 - Yeah, it's... It's Jim. Jimberly. - Jim? 1806 01:22:59.188 --> 01:23:00.938 - Jimberly? - Jimberly Stevenson. 1807 01:23:02.941 --> 01:23:04.321 What's going on? 1808 01:23:04.401 --> 01:23:06.991 It's a cramp! God, I got a cramp! 1809 01:23:07.070 --> 01:23:09.950 - Kenny! - All right. I can help you. I can help you. 1810 01:23:10.073 --> 01:23:12.333 - It's in the quad! No, it's in the quad. - Right here? Right here? 1811 01:23:12.409 --> 01:23:13.909 That's the top. That's the top. 1812 01:23:13.952 --> 01:23:15.082 Okay? Right there? 1813 01:23:15.120 --> 01:23:16.500 That's a little too close to the groin, Kenny. 1814 01:23:16.580 --> 01:23:17.580 That's a no-fly zone. 1815 01:23:17.623 --> 01:23:19.253 - All right? How's that? - Jelly. Back to square one. 1816 01:23:19.291 --> 01:23:20.751 - We're good? - Yup! Yup, yup. 1817 01:23:20.834 --> 01:23:22.294 - I don't wanna overdo it. - Phew. 1818 01:23:23.295 --> 01:23:24.885 Okay. Well, hey. 1819 01:23:24.922 --> 01:23:26.592 - Kenny, you're one of the good ones, man. - Yeah. 1820 01:23:26.632 --> 01:23:28.222 Yeah, not a lot of guys would do that for another guy. 1821 01:23:28.258 --> 01:23:30.048 - I'll do it for you. - Thanks, man. 1822 01:23:30.093 --> 01:23:31.933 - But we'll hang. We'll do it. - Yeah, we'll totally hang. 1823 01:23:31.970 --> 01:23:33.430 No big deal, buddy. All right, have a good one. 1824 01:23:33.514 --> 01:23:34.684 Bye, Jimberly. 1825 01:23:36.350 --> 01:23:38.600 That's an odd choice for a lobby sculpture. 1826 01:23:38.685 --> 01:23:39.685 He's an odd guy. 1827 01:23:39.770 --> 01:23:41.940 You know, they say he killed a man in Costa Rica. 1828 01:23:42.606 --> 01:23:43.606 What? 1829 01:23:48.278 --> 01:23:49.278 Oh, Jesus. 1830 01:23:49.780 --> 01:23:54.080 Jimberly. "J", "J". 1831 01:23:54.535 --> 01:23:56.455 Maybe it's "J-Y-M." 1832 01:23:56.954 --> 01:23:58.624 What the fuck? There's no Jimberlys. 1833 01:23:59.456 --> 01:24:01.246 Okay, well, where is it? 1834 01:24:01.291 --> 01:24:04.381 I'm sorry, I was a little tipsy last time I was here. 1835 01:24:06.463 --> 01:24:07.513 Oh. 1836 01:24:07.589 --> 01:24:09.469 - Oh, God! - Oh, my God. Guys, check us out! 1837 01:24:09.550 --> 01:24:11.800 We're total burglars. We burgle. We're burgling! 1838 01:24:17.224 --> 01:24:19.274 I feel like this is going great. 1839 01:24:19.309 --> 01:24:22.809 Michelle, you brought trash bags, baby wipes, shower gel. 1840 01:24:22.855 --> 01:24:25.155 Do you actually think we're gonna need rope? 1841 01:24:27.109 --> 01:24:30.489 Come on! Every story about a burglar always involves rope. 1842 01:24:30.571 --> 01:24:31.911 - That's true. - It's in all the movies. 1843 01:24:31.989 --> 01:24:34.159 I am a mogul, not a cat burglar. 1844 01:24:34.241 --> 01:24:36.281 I'm also the only one that thought to bring provisions. 1845 01:24:37.160 --> 01:24:38.750 Michelle, stop! I forgot, I'm sorry. 1846 01:24:39.538 --> 01:24:41.958 I stole the guard's keycard while he was massaging me. 1847 01:24:41.999 --> 01:24:43.249 You stole his key? 1848 01:24:43.625 --> 01:24:44.625 Yeah. Okay. 1849 01:24:48.005 --> 01:24:49.555 Somebody loves Mortal Kombat. 1850 01:24:49.631 --> 01:24:51.171 Let's just find the contract and get outta here. 1851 01:24:51.258 --> 01:24:52.678 - Okay. - I bet you he put it in his panic room. 1852 01:24:52.759 --> 01:24:54.259 That's what I'd do if I had a panic room. 1853 01:24:54.344 --> 01:24:56.354 It's probably voice-activated, high-tech stuff in here. 1854 01:24:56.388 --> 01:24:57.468 Open desk. 1855 01:24:57.514 --> 01:24:59.184 - Yeah. Open desk! - Open... 1856 01:24:59.224 --> 01:25:00.734 No, it was just manual. 1857 01:25:02.519 --> 01:25:04.519 I got it! In his desk drawer, 1858 01:25:04.605 --> 01:25:06.445 in a file marked "Darnell." 1859 01:25:06.523 --> 01:25:08.783 Probably overthought that one. It's classic Mike. 1860 01:25:08.859 --> 01:25:10.859 - I do that a lot. - Let's go! 1861 01:25:10.944 --> 01:25:13.074 Son of a bitch, Stephan! You left the door open! 1862 01:25:14.698 --> 01:25:15.698 Oh. 1863 01:25:16.408 --> 01:25:17.618 Well, who do we have here? 1864 01:25:18.577 --> 01:25:22.407 Michelle Darnell, the baker and Quetzalcóatl. 1865 01:25:22.497 --> 01:25:24.707 That is impressive. I mean, you gotta give him that. 1866 01:25:24.750 --> 01:25:26.380 I'm not even wearing the mask. 1867 01:25:27.044 --> 01:25:30.054 That wouldn't be our contract you're holding, would it, Michelle? 1868 01:25:30.506 --> 01:25:33.126 You wouldn't be foolish enough to back out of our plan, would you? 1869 01:25:33.217 --> 01:25:35.887 You know what? It was never her company to sell. 1870 01:25:35.969 --> 01:25:39.009 - I own 50% of it, so... - Yeah. 1871 01:25:39.056 --> 01:25:41.726 - I may have fudged the initial paperwork. - You what? 1872 01:25:41.767 --> 01:25:43.137 - But I am sorry. - So, I'm not... 1873 01:25:43.227 --> 01:25:44.227 - And I will rectify... - Michelle! 1874 01:25:44.269 --> 01:25:46.149 You will be. You will be. I'm sorry. 1875 01:25:46.230 --> 01:25:49.650 I wonder, how should I approach this? 1876 01:25:54.613 --> 01:25:57.533 Call the proper authorities and turn you in? 1877 01:25:57.574 --> 01:25:59.914 Or we could just talk it out amongst ourselves. 1878 01:26:00.744 --> 01:26:02.794 Do you know what the fascinating thing is 1879 01:26:02.913 --> 01:26:04.963 about the Japanese martial arts? 1880 01:26:06.083 --> 01:26:07.503 The discipline. 1881 01:26:07.668 --> 01:26:08.998 Ya! 1882 01:26:10.045 --> 01:26:11.375 The integrity. 1883 01:26:14.967 --> 01:26:16.427 The loyalty. 1884 01:26:18.679 --> 01:26:20.099 Okay, okay, stop! 1885 01:26:20.138 --> 01:26:21.348 I'll do it. 1886 01:26:22.432 --> 01:26:24.102 - I'll suck your dick. - What? 1887 01:26:24.142 --> 01:26:25.442 I don't wanna do it, 1888 01:26:25.519 --> 01:26:27.899 but if you promise not to hurt anybody in this room, 1889 01:26:27.938 --> 01:26:29.148 I'll suck your dick. 1890 01:26:29.231 --> 01:26:30.271 Mike, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1891 01:26:31.024 --> 01:26:32.364 - Oh, my God. Mike, no. - What? 1892 01:26:32.442 --> 01:26:34.112 - You don't want me to suck his dick? - No. 1893 01:26:34.152 --> 01:26:36.282 Wrong dick, wrong time, Mike. 1894 01:26:36.321 --> 01:26:37.321 - Wrong dick. - Wrong dick. 1895 01:26:37.406 --> 01:26:38.776 It was supposed to be the security guy's dick. 1896 01:26:38.866 --> 01:26:40.196 I was trying to be a team player. 1897 01:26:40.284 --> 01:26:42.454 Real eager, Claire. It's a red flag. 1898 01:26:42.536 --> 01:26:43.616 I don't like sucking dicks. 1899 01:26:43.704 --> 01:26:44.914 It's not my business. 1900 01:26:44.955 --> 01:26:46.295 Nobody's sucking my dick. 1901 01:26:46.373 --> 01:26:47.503 Fair enough. 1902 01:26:47.583 --> 01:26:50.423 Well, that's the first time I've heard you say that, but... 1903 01:26:50.460 --> 01:26:51.460 I'm going to plan B, 1904 01:26:51.545 --> 01:26:53.135 my tongue has always been my sword. 1905 01:26:53.213 --> 01:26:54.213 Okay. 1906 01:26:55.799 --> 01:26:57.799 Put the knife away, Ronald. 1907 01:26:58.093 --> 01:27:00.803 It's not a knife. It's a katana. 1908 01:27:00.846 --> 01:27:01.966 Katana. 1909 01:27:02.181 --> 01:27:05.481 You're not gonna cut anyone with that knife and we all know it. 1910 01:27:07.144 --> 01:27:08.314 Oh, shit! 1911 01:27:08.353 --> 01:27:10.813 Big bird, blondie, over there! Go! Scoot! 1912 01:27:10.856 --> 01:27:12.266 Okay. All right, easy! 1913 01:27:14.818 --> 01:27:15.858 Oh, shit. 1914 01:27:17.237 --> 01:27:19.407 Are you crazy, Ron? I'm bleeding! 1915 01:27:19.656 --> 01:27:21.116 Give me back what's mine. 1916 01:27:22.492 --> 01:27:23.702 Michelle! 1917 01:27:25.245 --> 01:27:26.655 - Oh, hello, old friend! - Get off! 1918 01:27:27.664 --> 01:27:28.754 Oh, God, I've missed this. 1919 01:27:28.832 --> 01:27:31.252 God, you keep that shit tight. No! 1920 01:27:33.504 --> 01:27:34.634 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1921 01:27:34.755 --> 01:27:35.925 Michelle, get up! Get up! 1922 01:27:38.342 --> 01:27:39.512 Just get up. 1923 01:27:40.135 --> 01:27:41.585 Okay, let's be reasonable. 1924 01:27:41.678 --> 01:27:43.928 You know, I'm sure we can come to some kind of an agreement. 1925 01:27:44.348 --> 01:27:45.518 Oh, we're past that point. 1926 01:27:45.557 --> 01:27:47.807 For the first time in my life, I'm trying to do the right thing! 1927 01:27:47.851 --> 01:27:49.601 This is not about me and you! 1928 01:27:49.686 --> 01:27:51.346 You don't even want our company! 1929 01:27:51.396 --> 01:27:54.936 That's true, but you screwed me over 25 years ago, you bitch. 1930 01:27:55.692 --> 01:27:57.532 I thought sending you to prison would help, 1931 01:27:57.611 --> 01:28:00.661 but cutting you to ribbons is the only way I'll get satisfaction! 1932 01:28:02.699 --> 01:28:03.869 Had enough? 1933 01:28:04.868 --> 01:28:05.868 Shit. 1934 01:28:06.245 --> 01:28:08.255 - Oh, check this out. - Fucking psycho! 1935 01:28:12.042 --> 01:28:13.042 Back up. 1936 01:28:15.212 --> 01:28:16.212 Look at that! 1937 01:28:16.547 --> 01:28:18.417 Just a figure eight. It's like double Dutch! 1938 01:28:18.507 --> 01:28:19.547 That's not how you do it. 1939 01:28:19.716 --> 01:28:20.756 Yeah, looks like I'm doing it. 1940 01:28:20.843 --> 01:28:23.093 Look at that. I can bob, somebody can weave. 1941 01:28:23.178 --> 01:28:24.218 You see this shit. 1942 01:28:24.346 --> 01:28:25.886 Ow! God! 1943 01:28:28.892 --> 01:28:30.392 Huh? Twelve years of baton. 1944 01:28:30.435 --> 01:28:32.185 Everybody likes to make fun of the baton girls. 1945 01:28:32.229 --> 01:28:34.649 Seven, eight, one, two, three, four... 1946 01:28:38.902 --> 01:28:40.282 Just give him the contract! 1947 01:28:40.362 --> 01:28:42.862 No! I'm getting our company back! 1948 01:28:54.209 --> 01:28:56.799 I will cut you in your white meat! 1949 01:28:56.879 --> 01:28:58.089 - What? - Oh, my God. 1950 01:28:58.797 --> 01:28:59.837 Ha! 1951 01:28:59.923 --> 01:29:01.423 Now we both have swords, huh? 1952 01:29:01.508 --> 01:29:02.968 What is happening? 1953 01:29:03.051 --> 01:29:04.181 Pretty fucking literal, Claire! 1954 01:29:04.261 --> 01:29:07.511 We're having a sword fight. We're both fighting with swords. 1955 01:29:07.598 --> 01:29:09.928 I haven't been with another woman since I've been with you. 1956 01:29:10.017 --> 01:29:13.437 Really? I've been with hundreds of men. 1957 01:29:13.770 --> 01:29:14.900 You whore! 1958 01:29:20.319 --> 01:29:21.649 Oh, shit! 1959 01:29:24.281 --> 01:29:25.281 Claire! 1960 01:29:27.701 --> 01:29:29.371 - Michelle, let's go! - Michelle, come on! 1961 01:29:30.621 --> 01:29:32.161 It's been so long. 1962 01:29:33.540 --> 01:29:35.630 That's enough! It's too hot. 1963 01:29:44.426 --> 01:29:46.006 Wait a minute! Why are we running up? 1964 01:29:46.136 --> 01:29:48.296 I don't know, it was the only door. I'm doing the best I can! 1965 01:29:48.347 --> 01:29:50.267 I should not be running with a sword! 1966 01:29:51.141 --> 01:29:53.141 Okay, all right! Okay. All right. There's gotta be a way down! 1967 01:29:53.185 --> 01:29:54.605 Get away from there. Come here. 1968 01:29:54.686 --> 01:29:56.096 Michelle, I'm not so good with heights, you know. 1969 01:29:56.146 --> 01:29:57.306 I'm feeling kind of tingly. 1970 01:29:57.356 --> 01:30:00.526 Claire, look at me. You have been on a helipad before and it's gonna be fine. 1971 01:30:00.609 --> 01:30:02.939 Right. Right, but then they weren't chasing us with swords! 1972 01:30:03.654 --> 01:30:06.914 You make a good point. Claire, I'm sorry I got you into this. 1973 01:30:06.990 --> 01:30:08.320 Michelle! 1974 01:30:08.367 --> 01:30:09.947 God, I need to do more cardio. 1975 01:30:09.993 --> 01:30:12.163 Go over there. Go over there! Be careful. 1976 01:30:13.163 --> 01:30:14.663 You left so suddenly. 1977 01:30:14.748 --> 01:30:17.668 Okay, let them go. I'm the one you want. 1978 01:30:19.002 --> 01:30:21.802 You know, I killed a man in Costa Rica with this sword. 1979 01:30:22.589 --> 01:30:25.879 I guess you would call it my killing sword. 1980 01:30:37.563 --> 01:30:39.063 You're terrible in bed! 1981 01:30:39.606 --> 01:30:40.606 I know. 1982 01:30:41.859 --> 01:30:42.979 Oh, my God! Michelle! 1983 01:30:43.527 --> 01:30:44.937 Whoa. Honey! Let her go, Claire! 1984 01:30:45.028 --> 01:30:46.698 She's making a fortune in heaven. 1985 01:30:47.865 --> 01:30:50.035 Hey, hey. Hey, smile! 1986 01:30:50.075 --> 01:30:52.535 Okay, everyone take it easy. 1987 01:30:52.578 --> 01:30:54.078 I've been filming this the whole time. 1988 01:30:54.580 --> 01:30:56.870 Take the sword away from her or I swear to God I'm gonna hit "send." 1989 01:30:57.457 --> 01:30:59.537 Yeah, you're not gonna hit "send" 1990 01:30:59.710 --> 01:31:01.800 because I'm gonna chop your hand off. 1991 01:31:01.879 --> 01:31:02.999 No! 1992 01:31:03.046 --> 01:31:04.336 Oh, my God. 1993 01:31:04.381 --> 01:31:06.131 - Brother! - No! 1994 01:31:06.216 --> 01:31:09.506 Son of a... Samurai! 1995 01:31:09.553 --> 01:31:10.683 Shut up! 1996 01:31:10.762 --> 01:31:13.642 Oh, thank goodness! Michelle, are you all right? 1997 01:31:13.724 --> 01:31:14.774 I'm fine! 1998 01:31:15.058 --> 01:31:16.978 I'm about to feel much better. 1999 01:31:18.187 --> 01:31:19.557 - No. - Yes! 2000 01:31:19.980 --> 01:31:22.400 Be wrong to ask for your forgiveness? 2001 01:31:24.109 --> 01:31:25.739 It's Ron talking. 2002 01:31:26.904 --> 01:31:28.664 - Oh, Ron! - I'm sorry. 2003 01:31:28.947 --> 01:31:32.237 Renault, do you still need me to hold them at bay? 2004 01:31:34.411 --> 01:31:35.411 Oh, my God. 2005 01:31:35.454 --> 01:31:36.504 Come here. 2006 01:31:37.456 --> 01:31:38.456 Ow. 2007 01:31:38.832 --> 01:31:39.832 Ow. 2008 01:31:41.251 --> 01:31:44.881 Michelle, don't make out with the sociopath! 2009 01:31:45.088 --> 01:31:47.718 I know. You make a good point. 2010 01:31:48.300 --> 01:31:49.930 But this is really good stuff. 2011 01:31:49.968 --> 01:31:51.178 Victim here. 2012 01:31:51.261 --> 01:31:52.601 Michelle! 2013 01:31:54.765 --> 01:31:58.355 Michelle! He literally tried to kill you! 2014 01:31:58.435 --> 01:32:00.595 I know. But his mouth didn't! 2015 01:32:08.237 --> 01:32:12.067 Okay! Attention, everyone! 2016 01:32:12.115 --> 01:32:15.945 I just wanna say what a great first year for the Darnell's Darlings. 2017 01:32:15.994 --> 01:32:19.254 And what a great first house for Rachel and Claire. 2018 01:32:20.707 --> 01:32:21.787 Cheers! 2019 01:32:21.834 --> 01:32:25.884 Finally, they have a decent guestroom so I can stay over when I get blasted. 2020 01:32:25.963 --> 01:32:27.633 - Michelle. - What's "blasted"? 2021 01:32:27.673 --> 01:32:29.923 I'll show you in about three drinks. 2022 01:32:30.050 --> 01:32:31.840 - No, she won't. - I'm kidding. 2023 01:32:31.927 --> 01:32:33.137 But if I can, 2024 01:32:33.220 --> 01:32:35.220 can I take a serious note for a minute, 2025 01:32:35.305 --> 01:32:37.925 and I just wanna say I'm proud of you. 2026 01:32:37.975 --> 01:32:40.645 You've built a great family home here for you and Rachel. 2027 01:32:40.686 --> 01:32:43.976 And I'm awfully glad that I get to be a part of that. So. 2028 01:32:44.731 --> 01:32:45.901 Thank you, Michelle. 2029 01:32:45.983 --> 01:32:47.113 Thank you. 2030 01:32:47.150 --> 01:32:50.490 Oh, and thank you for the new sofa! You really shouldn't have done that. 2031 01:32:51.113 --> 01:32:52.823 Oh, well, I should have, though. 2032 01:32:52.865 --> 01:32:56.455 I mean, the old one was very uncomfortable and very dangerous. 2033 01:32:56.493 --> 01:32:58.333 But don't worry. I don't wanna hear it. 2034 01:32:58.412 --> 01:33:01.122 I did donate it to just the right person. 2035 01:33:08.172 --> 01:33:09.342 Hannah! 2036 01:33:10.299 --> 01:33:12.679 Michelle Darnell just sent us a sofa bed. 2037 01:33:12.759 --> 01:33:15.759 You know what I call that? A victory. I win. 2038 01:33:16.555 --> 01:33:17.725 Whatever. 2039 01:33:19.516 --> 01:33:20.846 Oh, it is comfortable. 2040 01:33:23.187 --> 01:33:25.107 Ah. 2041 01:33:26.106 --> 01:33:27.186 It's comfortable... 2042 01:33:29.776 --> 01:33:31.106 Darnell! 2043 01:35:37.863 --> 01:35:39.863 I may have had a little bit of your Scotch last night 2044 01:35:39.948 --> 01:35:42.988 and I got into the most wonderful chip. 2045 01:35:43.076 --> 01:35:45.246 It was called a Dorito. 2046 01:35:49.666 --> 01:35:52.336 I've had wonderful Vermont ched... 2047 01:35:54.713 --> 01:35:56.513 I'm so sorry. God, I'm a hack. 2048 01:35:56.757 --> 01:35:58.167 Hi, Rachel. 2049 01:35:58.217 --> 01:35:59.467 It's Rachel! 2050 01:35:59.510 --> 01:36:00.970 That's what I said. 2051 01:36:01.637 --> 01:36:02.637 One more time. 2052 01:36:04.556 --> 01:36:07.056 I'm an icon. I am not a professional burger. 2053 01:36:10.687 --> 01:36:12.607 But I like burgers. 2054 01:36:13.023 --> 01:36:15.153 I took the guard's keycard. Oh, fuck me. 2055 01:36:15.192 --> 01:36:17.442 I took the card from the geek. What the fuck is it? 2056 01:36:17.528 --> 01:36:18.948 I took the guard's keycard. 2057 01:36:19.029 --> 01:36:20.199 I took the card from the geek. 2058 01:36:20.239 --> 01:36:21.819 Oh, my God. Again. 2059 01:36:21.865 --> 01:36:22.865 Katana. 2060 01:36:23.367 --> 01:36:24.987 Oh, gosh. Sorry. 2061 01:36:25.786 --> 01:36:28.866 Stop picking up wood! Michelle! 2062 01:36:33.544 --> 01:36:34.674 Here we go. 2063 01:36:34.711 --> 01:36:35.961 Oh, God. I'm gonna pee my pants. 2064 01:36:38.549 --> 01:36:40.759 Oh, my God. No. Please give me one more shot. 2065 01:36:42.052 --> 01:36:43.052 You pop... 2066 01:36:44.137 --> 01:36:46.387 When you left my life... Shit. Fuck. 2067 01:36:46.473 --> 01:36:49.313 What was that? I should've been so... 2068 01:36:49.393 --> 01:36:51.733 Meryl Streep would've just kept going. 2069 01:36:51.770 --> 01:36:54.560 I stand corrected. Do you want some nuts? 2070 01:36:56.441 --> 01:36:57.571 So we can get to the elevators 2071 01:36:57.609 --> 01:36:59.109 while you're sucking his dick. 2072 01:36:59.653 --> 01:37:00.863 Wait. I'm sorry. 2073 01:37:00.904 --> 01:37:05.784 I'm so sorry. I saw it coming from a mile away. I'm so sorry. 2074 01:37:06.451 --> 01:37:07.991 Okay. I can get in there. 2075 01:37:08.078 --> 01:37:10.868 I can get the contract and I can take back our country. 2076 01:37:10.914 --> 01:37:12.044 What do you mean "take..." 2077 01:37:12.165 --> 01:37:13.245 God damn it. 2078 01:37:14.668 --> 01:37:17.418 I object to parolees attending our meetings 2079 01:37:17.462 --> 01:37:19.592 and I'd like to put that in the official transcreept... 2080 01:37:21.049 --> 01:37:23.049 I made a good business... 2081 01:37:24.678 --> 01:37:27.598 You know what? You made a good business... 2082 01:37:27.639 --> 01:37:31.689 Really? You fucking kidding me? I can't say "decision." 2083 01:37:31.935 --> 01:37:33.225 - Language, Michelle. - Yeah. 2084 01:37:33.645 --> 01:37:34.805 Good night! 2085 01:37:36.440 --> 01:37:38.110 You think they'll ever yell "cut"? 2086 01:37:40.068 --> 01:37:42.018 No. 2086 01:37:43.305 --> 01:37:49.914 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/xftz Help other users to choose the best subtitles