1
00:00:49,765 --> 00:00:51,790
Thanks for everything.
2
00:00:57,506 --> 00:00:59,599
Guess what I did
last night.
3
00:01:00,442 --> 00:01:01,568
Dude!
4
00:01:02,210 --> 00:01:03,177
(SNIFFS)
5
00:01:11,553 --> 00:01:13,111
(ENGINE REVVING)
6
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:22,888
(EXHALES)
7
00:01:22,998 --> 00:01:24,795
Now let's rock
Westside Academy!
8
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:25,867
(GROANS)
9
00:01:32,841 --> 00:01:34,433
RECORDED VOICE:
Taste the beast!
10
00:01:35,177 --> 00:01:36,769
DANNY: You can do
anything you want in life
11
00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:39,007
as long as you stay
away from drugs.
12
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:40,775
Why would a person
use illegal drugs?
13
00:01:40,949 --> 00:01:42,678
Many reasons.
14
00:01:42,784 --> 00:01:45,218
Maybe they're trying to fit in
with a new group of friends.
15
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,617
Maybe they're curious.
16
00:01:46,788 --> 00:01:48,119
Maybe they're just bored.
17
00:01:48,223 --> 00:01:49,190
But whatever the reason,
18
00:01:49,291 --> 00:01:51,418
what should you say when
someone offers you drugs?
19
00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:54,295
Say, " No, thanks.
I'll have a Minotaur. "
20
00:01:54,396 --> 00:01:56,023
Stay off drugs! Minotaur!
21
00:01:56,198 --> 00:01:57,825
Thank you, Minotaur man.
22
00:01:59,835 --> 00:02:01,894
Hey! Nice cow
outfit, homo.
23
00:02:02,003 --> 00:02:04,494
Where can I pick one of
those up, the gay zoo?
24
00:02:04,606 --> 00:02:06,039
Oh, no. It's not a...
It's not a cow.
25
00:02:06,141 --> 00:02:07,165
It's a minotaur.
26
00:02:07,275 --> 00:02:08,333
It's a creature of myth,
27
00:02:08,443 --> 00:02:10,377
and he got this one out
of your mom's closet.
28
00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:13,175
She let me keep it
after I fucked her.
29
00:02:14,983 --> 00:02:17,747
Drugs are bad.
Energy drinks, good.
30
00:02:17,853 --> 00:02:20,378
So whenever you'd like to
taste one, help yourselves.
31
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:23,117
And for every can sold,
Minotaur will make a donation
32
00:02:23,225 --> 00:02:25,159
to the Keep Kids
Off Drugs foundation.
33
00:02:30,098 --> 00:02:32,225
DANNY: God, this suit
smells like Tater Tots.
34
00:02:32,334 --> 00:02:34,666
Yeah, I know what you need.
35
00:02:34,769 --> 00:02:37,101
Kiss?
Are you kidding? No. God.
36
00:02:38,206 --> 00:02:39,195
I love Kiss.
37
00:02:39,374 --> 00:02:40,363
No one loves Kiss.
38
00:02:40,475 --> 00:02:41,999
Paul Stanley is
sick of Kiss.
39
00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:44,271
Whoa! Don't dis
the Starchild.
40
00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:45,676
Hey, don't get me
wrong, all right?
41
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:49,443
I like to "rock 'n' roll all
night and part of every day!"
42
00:02:50,051 --> 00:02:52,679
Party every day. "Rock 'n' roll
all night and party every day!"
43
00:02:52,787 --> 00:02:55,415
I like to rock 'n' roll part
of every day. Party every day.
44
00:02:55,524 --> 00:02:56,889
I usually have errands.
Party.
45
00:02:56,992 --> 00:02:59,483
I can rock 'n' roll from, like,
1:00 to 3:00. You need to party.
46
00:03:00,829 --> 00:03:01,887
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
47
00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:04,056
When someone offers you some
illegal drugs, what do you say?
48
00:03:04,165 --> 00:03:06,793
You say, " No, thanks.
I'll just have a Minotaur. "
49
00:03:06,902 --> 00:03:08,426
I've had so many
of these things.
50
00:03:08,603 --> 00:03:10,161
I'm not kidding.
51
00:03:10,272 --> 00:03:11,830
I may wet my pants.
Where's the bathroom?
52
00:03:16,111 --> 00:03:17,135
Holy shit.
53
00:03:17,245 --> 00:03:19,372
Dude, this is like
Shrek's piss.
54
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:24,783
So remember, stay off drugs,
drink Minotaur and above all...
55
00:03:24,886 --> 00:03:26,148
Taste the beast!
56
00:03:33,061 --> 00:03:34,289
You know what's
great about this job?
57
00:03:34,396 --> 00:03:35,693
You mean,
besides nothing?
58
00:03:35,797 --> 00:03:36,957
We're making
the world a better place.
59
00:03:37,065 --> 00:03:38,157
How?
60
00:03:38,266 --> 00:03:41,292
You know, giving the kids an
energy boost to stay off drugs.
61
00:03:41,403 --> 00:03:44,463
We're selling them nuclear
horse piss for 6 bucks a can.
62
00:03:44,573 --> 00:03:46,336
What an accomplishment.
Feels good, doesn't it?
63
00:03:46,441 --> 00:03:48,705
easy to do hung-over.
64
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:50,072
I could do
this job forever.
65
00:03:50,178 --> 00:03:52,612
If I had to do this job forever,
I'd put a bullet in my head.
66
00:03:52,714 --> 00:03:54,079
Game face, bro.
67
00:03:54,182 --> 00:03:55,240
ALL: Surprise!
68
00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:56,374
(ALL CHEERING)
69
00:03:56,484 --> 00:03:57,610
Yeah!
70
00:03:58,386 --> 00:04:00,047
Got you, man! Got you!
71
00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:01,179
Happy anniversary!
Did you know?
72
00:04:01,289 --> 00:04:02,278
No.
73
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:03,857
All right.
That was good!
74
00:04:03,959 --> 00:04:05,085
DANNY: Oh, my God.
You're here.
75
00:04:05,193 --> 00:04:06,251
Wheeler called me. Hi.
76
00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,385
Thank you for warning me.
77
00:04:07,495 --> 00:04:09,622
Hey, I tried to tell them
you don't like surprises,
78
00:04:09,731 --> 00:04:12,131
but they really wanted
to celebrate your milestone.
79
00:04:12,233 --> 00:04:13,757
What's up, mino-tards?
80
00:04:13,868 --> 00:04:15,267
(ALL CHEERING)
81
00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:16,462
What's up, Wheeler?
82
00:04:16,638 --> 00:04:17,730
My dick!
83
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,067
"My dick!"
84
00:04:19,174 --> 00:04:21,642
Everybody, we're here to
celebrate my best friend, Danny!
85
00:04:21,743 --> 00:04:23,404
We just work together.
Not "best friend."
86
00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:24,637
Be nice.
87
00:04:24,746 --> 00:04:26,441
Danny's been
working here 10 years!
88
00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:28,072
That's almost
a decade of living the dream.
89
00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:29,241
MAN: You're the
man, Danny!
90
00:04:29,351 --> 00:04:30,784
I want to grow
old with you, Danny.
91
00:04:30,885 --> 00:04:32,147
Hopefully,
we'll be tasting the beast
92
00:04:32,253 --> 00:04:33,447
for the rest of
our lives together!
93
00:04:33,555 --> 00:04:35,079
WOMAN: Yeah!
MAN: All right!
94
00:04:35,190 --> 00:04:36,179
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
95
00:04:36,291 --> 00:04:40,057
(SINGING) It's early morning
The sun come out
96
00:04:40,195 --> 00:04:42,356
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud
97
00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:43,624
This is a nightmare.
98
00:04:43,732 --> 00:04:45,495
Come on. I took
the afternoon off.
99
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,659
There's cake! Let's
try and enjoy ourselves.
100
00:04:47,769 --> 00:04:50,237
Mitch from Graphics,
take over!
101
00:04:50,338 --> 00:04:51,737
Do it!
BETH: Let's go next!
102
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,467
Come on. It'll be fun.
No.
103
00:04:53,575 --> 00:04:55,600
Why not? Come on.
We'll do a duet!
104
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,268
Getting up in front
of a group of people
105
00:04:57,379 --> 00:04:59,176
and singing is not my
idea of fun. All right?
106
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,907
It's humiliating.
107
00:05:01,016 --> 00:05:02,449
(VOICE BREAKING)
With another sin
108
00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:03,983
I'm gonna sing.
109
00:05:04,085 --> 00:05:05,279
(ALL CHEERING)
110
00:05:05,787 --> 00:05:07,414
Here I am
111
00:05:07,522 --> 00:05:08,546
Ow!
112
00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:11,524
Rock you like a hurricane
113
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,591
Come on, come on, come
on, come on! Yeah, yeah!
114
00:05:13,695 --> 00:05:14,889
Here I am
115
00:05:14,996 --> 00:05:16,327
Come on. Sing it!
116
00:05:16,464 --> 00:05:19,024
Rock you like a hurricane
117
00:05:19,134 --> 00:05:20,328
Danny?
118
00:05:21,169 --> 00:05:22,261
What is your problem?
119
00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:23,359
Look, I'm sorry,
all right?
120
00:05:23,471 --> 00:05:26,372
I'm not Wheeler, happy
in some brainless job,
121
00:05:26,474 --> 00:05:27,532
no goals, no ambition.
122
00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:29,234
Hey, you don't know
how Wheeler feels.
123
00:05:29,344 --> 00:05:32,541
For all you know, he hates
his job as much as you do.
124
00:05:32,647 --> 00:05:34,581
I love this job!
125
00:05:34,683 --> 00:05:36,742
MAN: Hey, Wheeler!
She's tasting your beast!
126
00:05:40,221 --> 00:05:41,745
Good morning.
Can I take your order?
127
00:05:41,856 --> 00:05:43,187
Can I get a tall chai?
128
00:05:43,358 --> 00:05:44,723
And a large black coffee.
129
00:05:44,826 --> 00:05:45,724
A what?
130
00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:46,826
Large black coffee.
131
00:05:46,928 --> 00:05:47,952
Do you mean a venti?
132
00:05:48,063 --> 00:05:49,052
No, I mean a large.
133
00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:51,223
He means a venti.
Yeah, the biggest one you've got.
134
00:05:51,332 --> 00:05:52,492
Venti is large.
135
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,726
No. Venti is 20.
136
00:05:53,835 --> 00:05:54,859
Danny.
137
00:05:54,969 --> 00:05:58,200
Yeah. "Large" is large.
In fact, "tall" is large.
138
00:05:58,306 --> 00:06:00,274
And grande is
Spanish for large.
139
00:06:00,375 --> 00:06:02,172
Venti is the only one
that doesn't mean large.
140
00:06:02,277 --> 00:06:03,801
It's also the only
one that's Italian.
141
00:06:03,912 --> 00:06:06,403
Congratulations!
You're stupid in three languages.
142
00:06:06,514 --> 00:06:08,914
Look, dick.
Venti is a large coffee.
143
00:06:09,017 --> 00:06:10,450
Really? Says who?
Fellini?
144
00:06:10,552 --> 00:06:11,917
How much is that?
Here's a 10.
145
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,578
Do you accept lira,
or is it all euros now?
146
00:06:13,688 --> 00:06:15,519
You know what,
just keep the change.
147
00:06:15,623 --> 00:06:17,591
Jesus, Dan. You know what
they call the sizes here.
148
00:06:17,692 --> 00:06:19,216
You know what, you've been
picking fights with everybody.
149
00:06:19,327 --> 00:06:21,192
The girl at the party...
She said ASAP.
150
00:06:21,296 --> 00:06:22,991
ASAP, I'm sorry.
Huge crime.
151
00:06:23,098 --> 00:06:26,158
It's like "24/7" or "been there,
done that." You hate that, too.
152
00:06:26,267 --> 00:06:29,464
I don't hate it enough
to let it ruin my day.
153
00:06:29,571 --> 00:06:32,972
It's getting worse.
You know, man? The sun is shining,
154
00:06:33,074 --> 00:06:36,043
but you have lost the ability
to take any joy in life.
155
00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:37,736
I can't stand it anymore!
156
00:06:37,912 --> 00:06:39,504
You're just
a miserable dick now!
157
00:06:39,614 --> 00:06:40,842
You're mean to everybody!
158
00:06:40,949 --> 00:06:44,441
And, FYI, it's called a
venti because it's 20 ounces!
159
00:06:44,853 --> 00:06:46,445
20! Venti!
160
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:53,293
Is that true?
161
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,828
She says I take
no joy in life.
162
00:06:58,833 --> 00:07:00,357
I can see that.
163
00:07:00,969 --> 00:07:02,197
I gotta talk to her.
164
00:07:02,303 --> 00:07:03,600
Forget her, man.
165
00:07:03,705 --> 00:07:05,502
Let me give you a little
motto I live my life by,
166
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:07,097
you got to hit
it and quit it.
167
00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:09,073
No ties, tangle free.
168
00:07:09,177 --> 00:07:10,405
Nobody tells me what to do.
169
00:07:10,512 --> 00:07:12,446
I go bang,
bang, bang the drum.
170
00:07:12,547 --> 00:07:13,980
What? That's not a motto.
171
00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:16,448
That's just you
saying a bunch of things.
172
00:07:16,551 --> 00:07:18,576
You know, Beth's right.
I'm a dick.
173
00:07:18,686 --> 00:07:21,211
Hey, I'm in a rut, just
going from school to school
174
00:07:21,322 --> 00:07:23,882
selling poison to
our nation's youth.
175
00:07:23,992 --> 00:07:26,051
It's not poison.
It's got juice in it.
176
00:07:26,161 --> 00:07:27,253
You know, I'm 35 years old.
177
00:07:27,362 --> 00:07:28,386
I got nothing to
show for my life.
178
00:07:28,496 --> 00:07:29,963
I figured I'd be something,
179
00:07:30,064 --> 00:07:32,464
something good,
a professor, engineer.
180
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,000
I don't know.
181
00:07:34,102 --> 00:07:36,332
Figured I'd be
married. I'd...
182
00:07:40,508 --> 00:07:42,169
You know what? We're making a detour.
- What?
183
00:07:42,277 --> 00:07:43,369
We're making a detour.
Where?
184
00:07:43,478 --> 00:07:44,775
We're making a detour.
Why?
185
00:07:47,916 --> 00:07:50,111
Dude, you're too jacked up on
Minotaur. This is a mistake.
186
00:07:50,218 --> 00:07:51,742
It's fine. Look,
I'll be right back.
187
00:07:51,853 --> 00:07:54,117
Hey, we gotta be at the Blue
Valley Middle School by 1:30.
188
00:07:54,222 --> 00:07:55,450
Yep!
189
00:07:55,557 --> 00:07:57,252
No, I don't want
to plea-bargain.
190
00:07:57,358 --> 00:07:58,416
I didn't do it.
191
00:07:58,526 --> 00:08:01,188
Mr. Garvin, I just don't know what
other options we have, you know,
192
00:08:01,296 --> 00:08:04,697
because they have this clear
videotape of you stealing
193
00:08:04,799 --> 00:08:06,426
a lot of TVs.
Guys! Go, go, go.
194
00:08:06,534 --> 00:08:07,933
That could be any bald guy.
195
00:08:08,036 --> 00:08:11,267
Look at me. Me, David Garvin,
stealing TVs.
196
00:08:11,372 --> 00:08:12,805
Who would believe it?
197
00:08:12,907 --> 00:08:14,841
(EXHALES) That is not me.
198
00:08:16,077 --> 00:08:17,738
Hey, hi.
I need to talk to you.
199
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:20,371
Danny, I'm with a client,
so we'll talk later.
200
00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:22,278
I can go.
No, no. You stay.
201
00:08:22,383 --> 00:08:25,409
I'm not going anywhere
until you talk to me.
202
00:08:26,221 --> 00:08:27,552
Excuse me one...
203
00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:29,020
Thank you.
What? Fast.
204
00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:30,112
All right, you were right.
205
00:08:30,225 --> 00:08:31,192
I'm a dick. I'm a dick!
206
00:08:31,292 --> 00:08:32,816
You're dickish.
Yes, I'm dickish.
207
00:08:32,927 --> 00:08:34,554
I'm a dickish dick, and I'm
in a rut. We're in a rut.
208
00:08:34,662 --> 00:08:36,357
Let's shake things up.
I have an idea.
209
00:08:36,464 --> 00:08:37,795
Let's get married.
I don't have a ring.
210
00:08:37,899 --> 00:08:38,923
Are you serious?
211
00:08:39,033 --> 00:08:40,523
Mazel tov!
No.
212
00:08:40,635 --> 00:08:42,262
Never mind.
What?
213
00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:43,394
No.
Why?
214
00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:46,769
Because despite this very well
thought out and romantic proposal,
215
00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:49,105
I'm not that interested in
becoming Mrs. Dick-in-a-rut.
216
00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:50,609
Heard that.
Really?
217
00:08:50,712 --> 00:08:52,043
Did you hear that?
Danny?
218
00:08:52,146 --> 00:08:54,171
Maybe you heard that because
you're 2 feet away from us.
219
00:08:54,282 --> 00:08:55,772
That's another one I hate.
"Heard that!"
220
00:08:55,884 --> 00:08:57,545
You don't get married
to get out of a rut.
221
00:08:57,652 --> 00:08:58,812
You get married
because you love someone
222
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,387
and you don't want to spend
your life without them.
223
00:09:00,488 --> 00:09:02,979
Who is this guy? Thank you, Mr. Garvin.
- He's a thief.
224
00:09:03,091 --> 00:09:04,285
Falsely accused.
225
00:09:04,392 --> 00:09:05,552
(WHISPERING) Oh, well.
He looks like Phil Collins.
226
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:06,752
Yeah. I know.
227
00:09:06,861 --> 00:09:08,055
Look, life is hard,
all right?
228
00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:09,629
We've lived together for
seven years... You know what?
229
00:09:09,731 --> 00:09:12,825
Danny, life is hard, and you've
become the hardest part of my life.
230
00:09:12,934 --> 00:09:14,026
I should really go.
231
00:09:14,135 --> 00:09:15,466
No, you sit down.
232
00:09:16,604 --> 00:09:17,593
(SIGHS)
233
00:09:17,705 --> 00:09:18,763
You know, Danny?
234
00:09:18,873 --> 00:09:19,862
We do need to
shake things up.
235
00:09:19,974 --> 00:09:21,134
I know!
That's what I'm saying!
236
00:09:21,242 --> 00:09:22,732
I'm moving out.
237
00:09:23,945 --> 00:09:26,413
Wait a minute.
Are you breaking up with me?
238
00:09:27,515 --> 00:09:29,005
Yeah.
239
00:09:29,117 --> 00:09:30,084
Really?
240
00:09:33,087 --> 00:09:34,281
Wow.
241
00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:37,057
Today sucks.
242
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,292
(DANNY GROANS)
243
00:09:40,395 --> 00:09:43,455
WHEELER: Look, Danny, whenever a
door closes, another opens, okay?
244
00:09:43,564 --> 00:09:44,553
You just have
to look for it.
245
00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:45,860
And, seriously,
you're gonna get
246
00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:47,935
the most insane
sympathy-rebound pussy.
247
00:09:48,136 --> 00:09:50,502
And this is a good
month for that, too.
248
00:09:50,605 --> 00:09:51,833
I don't want that.
249
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:53,771
Look, just keep
it together, bro.
250
00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:55,536
Okay? We got one
more school.
251
00:09:55,643 --> 00:09:57,611
We go out, we'll have a few
brewskis, we'll talk this over.
252
00:09:57,712 --> 00:09:59,976
Just put your
game face on.
253
00:10:00,081 --> 00:10:01,048
(WHEELER WHOOPS)
254
00:10:02,817 --> 00:10:05,615
Taste the beast!
Stay off drugs!
255
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,017
Minotaur!
256
00:10:09,490 --> 00:10:12,516
Drugs. Why do
kids take drugs?
257
00:10:13,127 --> 00:10:14,617
'Cause they're awesome?
258
00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:16,128
(KIDS LAUGHING)
259
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:18,095
No? Maybe they just
understand that life is pain,
260
00:10:18,199 --> 00:10:21,396
and if you smoke something or take
a pill, it'll go away for a while.
261
00:10:21,502 --> 00:10:23,527
I'll drink to that.
262
00:10:23,638 --> 00:10:25,105
Dude, dude, dude,
dude. Come on.
263
00:10:25,273 --> 00:10:26,740
No, no, no.
264
00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:29,571
(CLEARS THROAT) People say,
"Embrace life. Enjoy life.
265
00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:33,144
" Just do it!
Live it! Rock it!"
266
00:10:33,915 --> 00:10:36,349
Fuck it,
because life is horrible.
267
00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:39,784
You know, I may not be so
happy-go-lucky, but I'm a realist.
268
00:10:39,887 --> 00:10:41,718
Get ready to have
your dreams dashed, kids,
269
00:10:41,823 --> 00:10:42,949
'cause nothing's
gonna work out
270
00:10:43,057 --> 00:10:45,116
the way you
think it's going to.
271
00:10:46,227 --> 00:10:49,253
Chin-chin. By the way,
this stuff's poison.
272
00:10:53,134 --> 00:10:55,364
Game face, bro.
Game face.
273
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,301
What part of "game face"
do you not understand?
274
00:10:57,405 --> 00:10:58,372
What the...
275
00:10:58,473 --> 00:10:59,405
Hey, hey,
hey, hey!
276
00:10:59,507 --> 00:11:00,838
Dude, I thought we
could park here.
277
00:11:00,942 --> 00:11:02,239
And you thought wrong,
you furry faggot.
278
00:11:02,343 --> 00:11:03,970
DANNY: Please, just flip
the switch and put it down.
279
00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:05,670
It's too late.
It's already up.
280
00:11:05,780 --> 00:11:06,747
DANNY: Come on, please.
281
00:11:06,848 --> 00:11:08,042
Put yourself in my shoes,
would you?
282
00:11:08,149 --> 00:11:09,639
Not my problem.
283
00:11:10,284 --> 00:11:11,945
Dude, please,
could you just be decent?
284
00:11:12,053 --> 00:11:13,315
I'm having a terrible day.
285
00:11:13,421 --> 00:11:17,380
Well, since you put it that
way, it's still not my problem.
286
00:11:17,992 --> 00:11:18,959
(ENGINE STARTS)
287
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:20,027
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
288
00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:21,926
Hey, man, can I ask
you a question?
289
00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:24,157
Get the fuck out
of the way, asshole!
290
00:11:24,265 --> 00:11:25,357
You want me to move?
291
00:11:25,466 --> 00:11:26,626
Game face, buddy.
292
00:11:26,734 --> 00:11:28,429
(HORN BLARING)
293
00:11:29,070 --> 00:11:30,264
Danny?
294
00:11:32,106 --> 00:11:33,232
What's he doing?
295
00:11:33,341 --> 00:11:34,808
WHEELER: He's running.
We're running.
296
00:11:34,909 --> 00:11:36,240
We're running!
297
00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:37,606
No, no.
298
00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:40,806
Hey, what are you...
What are you... Get...
299
00:11:40,915 --> 00:11:41,904
(ENGINE STARTS)
300
00:11:42,016 --> 00:11:43,881
I'm the guy that can't enjoy life?
Wrong!
301
00:11:43,985 --> 00:11:45,543
I'm gonna enjoy this!
Right!
302
00:11:45,653 --> 00:11:47,086
Wait, what?
303
00:11:47,355 --> 00:11:49,448
(ENGINE REVS)
304
00:11:50,324 --> 00:11:51,313
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
305
00:11:51,426 --> 00:11:53,121
Hey, man,
what you doing?
306
00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:54,717
Whoa, whoa! Danny!
307
00:11:54,862 --> 00:11:55,829
Hey, man!
308
00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,059
Holy shit, man!
309
00:12:02,336 --> 00:12:03,462
Dude!
310
00:12:04,639 --> 00:12:06,300
(WHEELER AND DANNY SCREAMING)
311
00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:11,803
RECORDED VOICE: (SLOWING
DOWN) Taste the beast!
312
00:12:14,649 --> 00:12:15,946
Stay off drugs.
313
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:17,848
You guys are fucked.
314
00:12:17,952 --> 00:12:19,442
I told you, you asshole!
315
00:12:20,388 --> 00:12:22,015
Beth?
Yes, Wheeler?
316
00:12:22,123 --> 00:12:26,059
I just want to start by saying
I think you're amazing, okay?
317
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,651
You're, like, beauty
and brains incarnate.
318
00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:31,288
So, FYI, there
you go. Okay?
319
00:12:31,399 --> 00:12:35,893
Now, that's that, so as far as this
goes, I didn't do anything here,
320
00:12:36,003 --> 00:12:37,766
so if you wouldn't mind,
you can clear my name,
321
00:12:37,872 --> 00:12:38,896
and I can just walk
right out of here.
322
00:12:39,006 --> 00:12:42,464
Really? Because according to
this, you were a party to...
323
00:12:42,577 --> 00:12:44,442
A party to,
not the party.
324
00:12:44,545 --> 00:12:47,673
...reckless endangerment,
destruction of school property,
325
00:12:47,782 --> 00:12:50,410
obstructing a police officer,
attempted grand theft auto,
326
00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:52,713
disturbing the peace,
parking in a no-parking zone.
327
00:12:52,820 --> 00:12:53,878
Did I ever tell
you you're a dick?
328
00:12:53,988 --> 00:12:54,977
Yeah. Earlier.
329
00:12:55,089 --> 00:12:57,148
And, Danny, they suspended your license.
Did you know that?
330
00:12:57,258 --> 00:12:58,953
Yeah. I figured they
would probably do that.
331
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:01,426
I mean, did you guys
think this was funny?
332
00:13:02,063 --> 00:13:03,894
You know, if you think about it,
this is kind of your fault.
333
00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:05,090
My... How is
this my fault?
334
00:13:05,199 --> 00:13:06,723
It's your fault because
you just threw it all away,
335
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,233
and I came in here,
I proposed to you...
336
00:13:08,336 --> 00:13:09,803
Your proposal
was bullshit!
337
00:13:09,904 --> 00:13:11,166
DANNY: But it was real.
It was from the heart!
338
00:13:11,272 --> 00:13:12,967
Shut up! Okay? Shut up!
339
00:13:13,574 --> 00:13:14,734
What's gonna happen?
340
00:13:14,842 --> 00:13:16,707
(SIGHS) They wanted to
give you 30 days in jail.
341
00:13:16,811 --> 00:13:17,937
What?
342
00:13:18,045 --> 00:13:19,842
But I worked my
magic on the judge,
343
00:13:19,947 --> 00:13:21,471
and instead,
over the next 30 days,
344
00:13:21,582 --> 00:13:23,846
you have to log 150 hours
of community service.
345
00:13:23,951 --> 00:13:26,249
Community service?
What, we got to clean toilets?
346
00:13:26,354 --> 00:13:27,651
No, you're going
to Sturdy Wings.
347
00:13:27,755 --> 00:13:29,188
It's the judge's
favorite organization.
348
00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:30,348
(CLEARS THROAT)
349
00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:31,550
(SIGHS) Yes, Wheeler?
350
00:13:31,659 --> 00:13:33,524
What the fuck
is Sturdy Wings?
351
00:13:33,728 --> 00:13:36,386
SWEENY: Sturdy Wings is
a simple concept.
352
00:13:36,497 --> 00:13:39,227
We bring adults and children
together in a structured format
353
00:13:40,949 --> 00:13:42,075
to enhance the lives
of these children
354
00:13:42,184 --> 00:13:43,515
through
one-on-one friendships.
355
00:13:43,619 --> 00:13:45,678
People ask me,
"Gayle, how did you
356
00:13:45,787 --> 00:13:48,847
"come up with such
a life-altering program?"
357
00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:52,085
And I tell them I spent a
lot of time alone as a kid.
358
00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:54,719
My father was
a traveling salesman.
359
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:57,560
My mother, out of
necessity, was a whore.
360
00:13:57,666 --> 00:14:00,464
During adolescence,
I hungered for guidance
361
00:14:00,569 --> 00:14:03,265
from a committed,
caring adult.
362
00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:06,533
In my 20s and 30s, I suffered
through an endless cycle
363
00:14:06,642 --> 00:14:10,806
of failed relationships and
constant feelings of inadequacy.
364
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:15,507
A mere 12 years ago,
I was a raging alcoholic.
365
00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:19,921
To make matters worse, I had
a massive drug addiction,
366
00:14:20,022 --> 00:14:23,458
no money, no job,
no hope.
367
00:14:24,292 --> 00:14:27,193
But at that moment,
I knew what I had to do.
368
00:14:27,663 --> 00:14:29,460
Used to be
addicted to pills.
369
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,431
Now I'm addicted
to helping.
370
00:14:32,968 --> 00:14:34,765
And when you're
addicted to helping,
371
00:14:34,936 --> 00:14:36,403
you don't need
an intervention.
372
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,440
Because sometimes in life,
everybody needs...
373
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:42,066
Sturdy Wings!
ALL: Sturdy Wings!
374
00:14:42,811 --> 00:14:44,904
(SINGING) A little lovin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
375
00:14:46,665 --> 00:14:50,123
We need a little love
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
376
00:14:50,668 --> 00:14:53,193
A little lovin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
377
00:14:54,539 --> 00:14:55,528
See, that's me?
378
00:14:57,542 --> 00:14:59,305
(LAUGHING)
379
00:15:01,479 --> 00:15:03,071
Okay, then.
380
00:15:03,181 --> 00:15:05,081
Welcome, everybody.
381
00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:09,643
You know, it's particularly exciting
for me to have a new batch of Bigs
382
00:15:09,754 --> 00:15:12,484
to match up with a new
group of kids, or Littles,
383
00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:14,490
as we call them
here at Sturdy Wings.
384
00:15:14,592 --> 00:15:16,059
I see a familiar face.
385
00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:17,558
Guilty as charged.
386
00:15:17,662 --> 00:15:18,924
(SNICKERING)
387
00:15:19,597 --> 00:15:20,928
I'd already prefer jail.
388
00:15:21,032 --> 00:15:23,398
All right. Let's move
right along here.
389
00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:25,025
Schedule-wise,
you can elect to spend
390
00:15:25,203 --> 00:15:26,727
as much time
with your Little...
391
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,499
Hey.
SWEENY: or as little time.
392
00:15:28,606 --> 00:15:29,630
It takes a village.
393
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:30,729
Hmm?
394
00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:33,640
Hillary Clinton.
I'm sort of into politics.
395
00:15:33,744 --> 00:15:35,336
I'm sort of engaged.
396
00:15:35,446 --> 00:15:37,004
I sort of have a boner.
397
00:15:37,114 --> 00:15:38,775
Okay.
398
00:15:38,883 --> 00:15:41,181
SWEENY: Got lots of handouts,
information to cover,
399
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:43,048
so let's get started.
400
00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:44,553
First time with
the program?
401
00:15:44,722 --> 00:15:46,121
Oh, God, really?
402
00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:47,714
Wheeler, switch with me.
No way, dude.
403
00:15:47,825 --> 00:15:50,885
Martin Gary.
I can always spot a newbie.
404
00:15:51,762 --> 00:15:53,093
It's my fifth
year with Wings.
405
00:15:53,197 --> 00:15:55,324
I guess Paul McCartney's
got nothing on me, huh?
406
00:15:55,533 --> 00:15:57,000
(SINGING) Love, take me down
to the streets
407
00:15:57,101 --> 00:15:58,125
(SNAPPING FINGERS
RHYTHMICALLY)
408
00:15:59,652 --> 00:16:00,710
That's not a Wings' song.
409
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:02,549
Yeah, that's one of
their hits from the '70s.
410
00:16:02,655 --> 00:16:03,986
I'm not sure which one.
It's not a... It's not.
411
00:16:05,558 --> 00:16:06,616
It isn't?
- No.
412
00:16:06,726 --> 00:16:08,421
I think it might be.
- No, it's not. Nobody sings that song.
413
00:16:08,528 --> 00:16:09,859
I don't know about that.
I'll have to google it.
414
00:16:09,963 --> 00:16:13,626
That's right, some kids are
allergic to their own sweat.
415
00:16:13,733 --> 00:16:16,429
So probably best to put the
kibosh on physical activity.
416
00:16:16,536 --> 00:16:20,495
Maybe play a boardgame
or tell a knock, knock joke.
417
00:16:20,607 --> 00:16:21,596
Oh!
418
00:16:21,708 --> 00:16:22,675
Martin!
419
00:16:22,775 --> 00:16:24,470
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
420
00:16:24,577 --> 00:16:25,976
Mike Snifferpipits.
421
00:16:26,079 --> 00:16:27,637
Mike Snifferpipits who?
422
00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:30,545
Mike Snifferpipits who?
How many Mike Snifferpipits do you know?
423
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,811
Come on! Let me in.
It's cold out here!
424
00:16:33,152 --> 00:16:34,517
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Jeez.
425
00:16:35,421 --> 00:16:36,649
Martin, come on up here.
426
00:16:36,756 --> 00:16:37,780
Let's do
a little dimostrazione.
427
00:16:39,643 --> 00:16:40,132
This...
428
00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:41,210
Ah!
429
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,540
Perfectly acceptable hug
between a Little and a Big.
430
00:16:43,646 --> 00:16:44,840
Ooh, la la!
431
00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:48,376
This is not.
432
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:51,282
Well, obviously we're not
supposed to butt-fuck these kids.
433
00:16:51,387 --> 00:16:52,911
SWEENY: Well, it looks like
I'm out of handouts.
434
00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:55,081
So why don't we take a little
break, get a cup of joe?
435
00:16:55,191 --> 00:16:57,125
I know I'm gonna put
mine right in here.
436
00:16:57,226 --> 00:17:01,060
And then when you come back, it'll
be time to meet... Drum roll, please.
437
00:17:01,164 --> 00:17:03,860
(IMITATES DRUM ROLL)
...your Little!
438
00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:06,368
(WHOOPS)
439
00:17:06,636 --> 00:17:07,603
(LAUGHS)
440
00:17:12,942 --> 00:17:14,307
I cannot wait
to meet mine.
441
00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:16,102
I'm going to take
them to the zoo,
442
00:17:16,212 --> 00:17:19,079
(IN BABY VOICE) because I
heard that the giant panda bear
443
00:17:19,182 --> 00:17:21,742
has a little
baby panda bear,
444
00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:23,250
and there's
just nothing cuter
445
00:17:23,419 --> 00:17:24,818
than a little
baby panda bear...
446
00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:25,979
Yeah, I can't do this.
447
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,555
Danny, stop.
448
00:17:27,657 --> 00:17:30,319
We will get raped in jail.
Do you understand?
449
00:17:30,426 --> 00:17:31,916
What's the point?
450
00:17:32,195 --> 00:17:34,493
I mean, I've got
nothing to give a kid.
451
00:17:34,597 --> 00:17:36,258
If you were a kid, would
you want to hang out with me?
452
00:17:36,365 --> 00:17:37,559
Hey, do you want
to get raped?
453
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:38,827
Hello, gentlemen.
454
00:17:38,935 --> 00:17:40,232
Hey.
455
00:17:40,336 --> 00:17:42,395
You probably heard that out of context.
- Excuse me?
456
00:17:42,505 --> 00:17:45,770
When I asked my friend Danny
if he wanted to get raped.
457
00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:49,311
I want you both to listen
to me, okay? And listen good.
458
00:17:50,313 --> 00:17:54,044
I know why you're here,
so don't BS a BSer.
459
00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:58,314
Okay? Your "presence"
here, court-ordered.
460
00:17:59,188 --> 00:18:01,179
Why did you put
"presence" in quotes?
461
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,621
Are you implying
that we're not here?
462
00:18:02,725 --> 00:18:05,717
You know, one call
to the judge from me,
463
00:18:05,828 --> 00:18:08,262
and you are in the slammer,
like M.C. Hammer.
464
00:18:08,364 --> 00:18:09,592
Did M.C. Hammer
go to prison?
465
00:18:09,699 --> 00:18:11,064
Yes, he did.
466
00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:12,998
Or he came
extremely close.
467
00:18:13,102 --> 00:18:16,401
I'm certain he filed for bankruptcy,
so don't BS me right now, okay?
468
00:18:16,506 --> 00:18:18,167
I don't understand.
How are we BSing you?
469
00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:21,209
Exactly. I'm BS-proof.
470
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:23,938
Here's a couple
of time sheets.
471
00:18:24,046 --> 00:18:27,379
You'll want your little buddies' parents
to sign them after each outing, okay?
472
00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:31,783
And that way, I can use my BS
flyswatter to swat away the flies
473
00:18:32,722 --> 00:18:34,485
that is your BS.
474
00:18:35,324 --> 00:18:37,189
Okay? Any questions?
475
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:41,125
Hey, little Littles,
your Bigs are here!
476
00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:44,263
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
477
00:18:45,568 --> 00:18:47,001
(ALL LAUGHING)
478
00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:49,170
Okay. That's good fun!
479
00:18:50,306 --> 00:18:52,831
Danny, your Little is elsewhere.
Why don't you come with me?
480
00:18:52,942 --> 00:18:55,103
MARTIN: (SNICKERING)
Oh, man.
481
00:18:55,711 --> 00:18:58,942
I've heard of popcorn in the
face, but this is ridiculous.
482
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:05,687
(SCREAMS)
483
00:19:06,822 --> 00:19:08,983
Brothers in arms,
follow me!
484
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,056
The evil King Argotron
has us cornered.
485
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:17,966
My fair lady Esplen,
Goddess of Navalore.
486
00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:20,001
I fight for your honor.
487
00:19:21,037 --> 00:19:23,005
You wish to kiss me?
488
00:19:23,105 --> 00:19:25,505
There's precious
little time.
489
00:19:25,608 --> 00:19:27,269
What the hell.
490
00:19:29,712 --> 00:19:30,679
(MOANS)
491
00:19:33,916 --> 00:19:37,408
No! No. More later!
Now I must fight!
492
00:19:39,989 --> 00:19:44,221
Your kid's name is Augie Farks,
a little older than most of the kids.
493
00:19:44,627 --> 00:19:45,924
(GRUNTING)
494
00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:48,121
(EPIC MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
495
00:19:49,465 --> 00:19:50,432
Oh.
496
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,167
(MUSIC STOPS)
497
00:19:52,268 --> 00:19:53,235
Um, that...
498
00:19:53,536 --> 00:19:54,833
I wasn't really 100% yet.
499
00:19:54,937 --> 00:19:56,905
Don't judge me
by that move that...
500
00:19:57,006 --> 00:19:58,166
I'm not gonna get
in trouble, right?
501
00:19:58,274 --> 00:20:01,505
This is just... This is just soft foam
and duct tape. It can't harm anyone.
502
00:20:01,611 --> 00:20:02,578
No worries, my liege.
503
00:20:02,678 --> 00:20:03,770
Okay!
504
00:20:03,879 --> 00:20:06,074
This is Danny.
He wants to be your new friend.
505
00:20:06,182 --> 00:20:07,672
So I'm gonna let you guys
get to know each other,
506
00:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,910
and I'll fade into the mist.
507
00:20:12,488 --> 00:20:14,012
How's it going?
508
00:20:16,192 --> 00:20:18,092
That's a nice routine
you worked out.
509
00:20:18,194 --> 00:20:21,061
I hope you weren't
planning on slaying me.
510
00:20:25,468 --> 00:20:26,662
Wonderful.
511
00:20:26,769 --> 00:20:29,260
Come on, Wheeler. Let's meet
your kid. His name's Ronnie.
512
00:20:29,372 --> 00:20:31,897
He's one of our youngest.
Single mom, full-time job.
513
00:20:32,008 --> 00:20:35,034
Signed him up about six weeks ago.
Matched him up with eight different Bigs.
514
00:20:35,144 --> 00:20:36,372
No one's lasted
more than a day,
515
00:20:36,479 --> 00:20:39,573
but I think you're perfect
because you're young, you're fun,
516
00:20:39,682 --> 00:20:40,774
and you don't
wanna go to prison.
517
00:20:40,883 --> 00:20:42,350
That's scary!
518
00:20:42,752 --> 00:20:43,719
Oh!
519
00:20:44,353 --> 00:20:47,789
And FYI, you're playing on
this girl's court now, okay?
520
00:20:47,890 --> 00:20:49,653
So you're playing by her rules.
Are you the coach?
521
00:20:49,759 --> 00:20:51,818
I am the coach.
I'm the coach, and I'm the point guard,
522
00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:55,590
I'm the two forwards, the
center, and I'm the other guard.
523
00:20:55,698 --> 00:20:57,928
I'm the entire
organization.
524
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:04,234
Hey, there, Ronnie. How you doing
today? Doing a little drawing?
525
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:05,807
That's cool.
526
00:21:05,908 --> 00:21:07,637
I want you to meet
someone really special.
527
00:21:07,743 --> 00:21:11,076
And I think you two dudes
are gonna become real homeys.
528
00:21:11,180 --> 00:21:12,442
Ronnie, this is Anson.
529
00:21:12,548 --> 00:21:13,981
Wheeler's good.
530
00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:15,345
Whatever.
531
00:21:16,085 --> 00:21:17,052
(CLEARS THROAT)
532
00:21:18,154 --> 00:21:20,418
SWEENY: Hey, big guy.
What you doing here?
533
00:21:20,523 --> 00:21:23,458
What up, Ronnie?
It's good to meet you.
534
00:21:28,864 --> 00:21:30,354
What you
drawing there?
535
00:21:30,466 --> 00:21:33,264
Oh. Beyoncé.
She's smoking!
536
00:21:33,369 --> 00:21:34,836
I don't want to
take my pants off!
537
00:21:34,937 --> 00:21:36,700
What? Whoa, whoa!
538
00:21:37,106 --> 00:21:38,869
All right, Ronnie.
That's enough.
539
00:21:38,974 --> 00:21:40,202
This bitch tried
to grab my joint!
540
00:21:40,309 --> 00:21:41,571
Language, Ronnie!
541
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:43,201
My language is English!
542
00:21:43,312 --> 00:21:46,577
And this motherfucker tried
to grab on my hang-down.
543
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,673
I got my own hang-down
to touch, kid.
544
00:21:48,784 --> 00:21:50,479
Honky-ass wanted
a handful of my balls!
545
00:21:50,586 --> 00:21:52,110
Honky? That's racist.
546
00:21:52,221 --> 00:21:55,088
Well, I trust you two will work
this out. I'm not gonna micromanage.
547
00:21:55,191 --> 00:21:57,216
Not my modus operandi.
548
00:21:59,395 --> 00:22:01,056
I have no idea what I'm
gonna do with this kid.
549
00:22:01,163 --> 00:22:04,792
Me, either. I bet if I suggested a game
of Quidditch, he'd come in his pants.
550
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:07,130
I've been talking to him for half
an hour. Kid's barely said a word.
551
00:22:07,236 --> 00:22:08,965
Maybe we should just
go to jail. It's 30 days.
552
00:22:09,071 --> 00:22:10,060
Whoa!
553
00:22:10,172 --> 00:22:12,572
I don't know if this is some
kind of joke to you, Danny,
554
00:22:12,675 --> 00:22:14,666
but I actually
like my life, okay?
555
00:22:14,777 --> 00:22:17,371
Now, if I go to jail,
I'm gonna lose my job. Listen.
556
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,607
We go to prison, you're
never gonna get Beth back.
557
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:22,843
We come home after 30 days, she's
banging her boss. I guarantee it.
558
00:22:22,952 --> 00:22:25,512
Really? She's gonna be
banging Patricia Feingold?
559
00:22:25,621 --> 00:22:26,610
Her boss is a chick?
560
00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:27,950
Oh, Jesus.
561
00:22:28,057 --> 00:22:31,083
Danny, just listen, okay?
We're a team. All right? You and me.
562
00:22:31,193 --> 00:22:33,957
We can do this.
We just got to stick together.
563
00:22:34,063 --> 00:22:35,655
Fine.
Good.
564
00:22:35,765 --> 00:22:38,325
So, what do you
do with kids?
565
00:22:38,467 --> 00:22:43,427
Hey, kids! We Chip Monks just broke our
vow of silence, and we want to sing!
566
00:22:43,806 --> 00:22:46,468
(SINGING) We are the monks
of chip monk Charlie's
567
00:22:46,575 --> 00:22:48,839
We will give you food to eat
568
00:22:49,078 --> 00:22:51,444
And once it's in our tummies
569
00:22:51,547 --> 00:22:54,539
We will move
our chip monk feet
570
00:22:54,683 --> 00:22:56,548
(ALL CHEERING)
571
00:22:56,652 --> 00:22:58,916
(SINGING) We are the butts
of Chip Monk ass
572
00:22:59,021 --> 00:23:00,079
But we've got the ass...
573
00:23:00,189 --> 00:23:01,213
Come on! Sit down!
574
00:23:01,323 --> 00:23:03,689
All right?
Please. Danny.
575
00:23:03,793 --> 00:23:05,283
I like Ronnie's
version better.
576
00:23:05,394 --> 00:23:08,727
I like how it evokes
the concept of ass and butt.
577
00:23:09,698 --> 00:23:11,029
Okay. Thanks.
578
00:23:11,133 --> 00:23:12,998
Don't throw shit,
Ronnie. Come on.
579
00:23:13,102 --> 00:23:15,502
How many hours
do we have left?
580
00:23:16,472 --> 00:23:18,565
So, do you
like Coca-Cola?
581
00:23:18,674 --> 00:23:21,541
I like the idea of it
more than I actually like it.
582
00:23:22,178 --> 00:23:23,907
Ooh! They got
chicken fingers.
583
00:23:24,013 --> 00:23:26,243
(EXHALES) I'm gonna run
a train on these chicken fingers.
584
00:23:26,348 --> 00:23:27,474
I'm just gonna be like...
585
00:23:27,583 --> 00:23:29,244
(MAKING GNAWING SOUNDS)
586
00:23:29,351 --> 00:23:32,718
Let me guess. You're not really rolling
with the ladies in school, are you, Augie?
587
00:23:32,822 --> 00:23:37,122
Oh, no. I'm really good friends with
the school nurse. She's a divorcée.
588
00:23:37,226 --> 00:23:41,492
So, Aug, it's a pretty
interesting cape.
589
00:23:41,597 --> 00:23:43,531
Are you like a
superhero or something?
590
00:23:43,632 --> 00:23:45,224
Yeah, I wish.
591
00:23:45,334 --> 00:23:48,064
No, this is... This is part
of my battle attire for Laire.
592
00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:49,228
What the hell is Laire?
593
00:23:49,338 --> 00:23:51,772
It's this fantasy world
where anything is possible.
594
00:23:51,874 --> 00:23:53,808
One minute you could be
sparring with an elf,
595
00:23:53,909 --> 00:23:57,174
and the next you could be battling
against a troll who wants nothing more
596
00:23:57,279 --> 00:24:00,305
than just to steal your gold
and leave you penniless!
597
00:24:00,416 --> 00:24:01,508
Sounds gay.
598
00:24:01,617 --> 00:24:02,879
No, no.
There's girls there.
599
00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:03,952
Girls can be gay.
600
00:24:04,053 --> 00:24:06,487
If by gay you mean
the old English definition
601
00:24:06,589 --> 00:24:10,821
of "fun, enjoyable and carefree,"
then, yes, it's extremely gay.
602
00:24:10,926 --> 00:24:12,791
I think they meant
the other definition.
603
00:24:12,895 --> 00:24:15,989
I know, but to understand it, you
really have to see it for yourself.
604
00:24:16,098 --> 00:24:17,190
Okay.
605
00:24:18,934 --> 00:24:20,424
DANNY: Hey, pick us up
in two hours.
606
00:24:20,536 --> 00:24:22,504
Fuck you, Miss Daisy!
607
00:24:28,277 --> 00:24:29,801
So, Augie, why do
they call it Laire?
608
00:24:29,912 --> 00:24:32,346
AUGIE: It's Live Action
Interactive Role-playing Explorers.
609
00:24:32,448 --> 00:24:33,676
We're all divided
into countries,
610
00:24:33,782 --> 00:24:36,273
fighting a never-ending war
to control the realm.
611
00:24:36,385 --> 00:24:39,946
DANNY: Or until they have to
clear you out for soccer practice.
612
00:24:40,656 --> 00:24:41,623
Oh!
613
00:24:41,757 --> 00:24:43,588
Greetings, nobleman!
614
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:44,659
(CHUCKLING)
615
00:24:44,894 --> 00:24:48,227
Any friend of Blufgan's
is a friend of Kuzzik,
616
00:24:48,330 --> 00:24:51,595
fifth son of Leponius,
earl of Ringor.
617
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:54,362
Diana has put
her bosom away.
618
00:24:54,470 --> 00:24:57,769
Apollo has lifted his skirt.
The day has been launched.
619
00:24:57,873 --> 00:25:01,673
May I present to you
my vassal, Artonius?
620
00:25:01,777 --> 00:25:02,744
Greetings, friends.
621
00:25:02,845 --> 00:25:03,971
BOTH: Greetings.
622
00:25:04,079 --> 00:25:09,142
Tell me, Blufgan, art thou
preparing for the Battle Royale?
623
00:25:09,752 --> 00:25:11,117
'Tis a mere month away.
624
00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:12,414
Aye, my lord.
625
00:25:12,521 --> 00:25:13,954
Huzzah, huzzah!
626
00:25:14,056 --> 00:25:17,457
Godspeed, Blufgan,
and all hail Xanthia!
627
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:19,083
Hail, Xanthia!
Hail, Xanthia!
628
00:25:19,762 --> 00:25:21,627
Rub-a-dub-dub!
629
00:25:24,667 --> 00:25:26,066
What the fuck just
happened there?
630
00:25:26,168 --> 00:25:27,328
They're my kinsmen.
631
00:25:27,436 --> 00:25:28,733
We're all from Xanthia.
632
00:25:28,837 --> 00:25:31,635
We're a smaller country,
but we're no Cacedonia, Danny.
633
00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:33,731
MAN: Ow! Don't hit so hard!
Okay.
634
00:25:35,077 --> 00:25:36,101
Hi, Blufgan.
635
00:25:36,211 --> 00:25:37,371
AUGIE: Hey! Hey, Esplen.
636
00:25:39,014 --> 00:25:40,982
Blufgan! Blufgan!
Blufgan!
637
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:42,710
Blufgan!
638
00:25:42,918 --> 00:25:44,783
(SPEAKING FICTIONAL LANGUAGE)
639
00:25:44,887 --> 00:25:47,412
All right, Gleebo.
One more.
640
00:25:47,523 --> 00:25:49,889
(SPEAKING FICTIONAL LANGUAGE)
641
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,260
I should have never started
feeding the goddamn elves.
642
00:25:53,362 --> 00:25:54,590
Jesus Christ.
643
00:25:54,697 --> 00:25:55,925
WOMAN:
Hey, master handler.
644
00:26:00,002 --> 00:26:01,526
Whoa! Who's that dork?
645
00:26:01,637 --> 00:26:03,036
AUGIE: That's the king.
646
00:26:03,505 --> 00:26:07,271
Well, I should have guessed. Nothing
says royalty like The Burger Hole.
647
00:26:07,376 --> 00:26:09,867
AUGIE: Yeah, he and his lackeys
eat there before every battle.
648
00:26:09,979 --> 00:26:12,072
MAN 1: His majesty approaches.
Oh, crap!
649
00:26:12,181 --> 00:26:13,546
MAN 2: His royalty approaches!
650
00:26:13,649 --> 00:26:15,173
MAN 3: Long live the king.
651
00:26:15,551 --> 00:26:16,677
What are you doing?
652
00:26:16,785 --> 00:26:18,514
You have to kneel
before the king.
653
00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:22,056
Bow down, little girl.
Little girl, bow down, bow down.
654
00:26:22,157 --> 00:26:23,249
Why?
655
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:24,826
Because he's the king.
I beg you!
656
00:26:29,798 --> 00:26:31,322
No.
657
00:26:31,433 --> 00:26:32,661
Damn it.
658
00:26:36,705 --> 00:26:39,503
Hey, pull over to the mini-mart
and get me some OJ,
659
00:26:39,608 --> 00:26:41,576
and not that
from-concentrate shit.
660
00:26:41,677 --> 00:26:42,974
WHEELER: Would it kill you
to say please?
661
00:26:43,078 --> 00:26:44,636
RONNIE: It might.
662
00:26:44,780 --> 00:26:48,409
"Concentrate. Not from
concentrate. Pulp. Low pulp.
663
00:26:48,517 --> 00:26:50,041
"Lots of pulp."
664
00:26:50,152 --> 00:26:51,346
Well, well, well.
665
00:26:51,453 --> 00:26:55,048
Hey. Fancy meeting you here.
What, are you stalking me?
666
00:26:56,291 --> 00:26:58,851
Had to get my bagel-dog fix.
So how's little Ronnie?
667
00:26:58,961 --> 00:27:02,021
Oh, you were right about us
being a great match. Yeah.
668
00:27:02,131 --> 00:27:05,328
You know, like at Christmas when you
get a gift? That's what Ronnie is.
669
00:27:05,434 --> 00:27:07,834
A gift. I love him so much.
670
00:27:08,137 --> 00:27:11,231
Wow. Well,
that's very nice.
671
00:27:11,974 --> 00:27:15,307
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I gots to get my Slurpee on.
672
00:27:15,411 --> 00:27:17,709
Well, watch this though first.
673
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,376
Look at that.
What does that look like?
674
00:27:21,717 --> 00:27:22,684
(CHUCKLING)
675
00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:24,777
Okay.
676
00:27:25,654 --> 00:27:26,621
(CLEARS THROAT)
677
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:32,584
Open the door, Ronnie.
678
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:34,753
You forgot to say "please."
679
00:27:35,731 --> 00:27:39,326
Please open the door,
or I'll pour your juice out.
680
00:27:39,902 --> 00:27:42,336
I don't drink
juice, biatch!
681
00:27:42,438 --> 00:27:44,269
Come on. Hey. Ronnie.
682
00:27:48,510 --> 00:27:51,536
Oh, no. Don't turn that
engine on. I swear to God...
683
00:27:51,780 --> 00:27:53,145
(GROANS)
684
00:27:54,416 --> 00:27:56,976
Okay. Okay.
Joke's over, buddy.
685
00:27:57,086 --> 00:27:58,713
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no!
686
00:27:58,821 --> 00:27:59,788
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
687
00:27:59,888 --> 00:28:00,855
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
688
00:28:00,956 --> 00:28:04,221
Good one! Good one, Ronnie!
Now open the fucking door!
689
00:28:04,326 --> 00:28:06,191
Ronnie! What are you doing?
690
00:28:06,295 --> 00:28:07,626
Dude, dude, dude, dude,
dude, dude, dude, dude!
691
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:08,696
(LAUGHING)
692
00:28:08,797 --> 00:28:10,264
What are you doing?
693
00:28:10,432 --> 00:28:11,399
(HORN HONKING)
694
00:28:13,535 --> 00:28:15,196
Baby! Yeah!
695
00:28:17,272 --> 00:28:19,137
Don't you run me over!
696
00:28:19,241 --> 00:28:20,469
Oh, no!
697
00:28:20,576 --> 00:28:21,941
(WHEELER GRUNTING)
698
00:28:22,044 --> 00:28:23,136
RONNIE: Ouch! Watch it!
699
00:28:23,245 --> 00:28:24,234
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
700
00:28:24,346 --> 00:28:25,711
Hey!
701
00:28:25,814 --> 00:28:28,681
Oh, yeah. So good.
Good times.
702
00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:34,388
You're on
thin ice, buddy.
703
00:28:34,490 --> 00:28:35,684
Then quit.
704
00:28:35,791 --> 00:28:37,224
I never quit.
705
00:28:37,326 --> 00:28:39,294
Give me my
damn juice.
706
00:28:39,394 --> 00:28:41,521
Oh, this juice?
Yeah, that juice.
707
00:28:47,069 --> 00:28:48,263
Fucking asshole.
708
00:28:48,370 --> 00:28:49,701
Punk bitch.
709
00:28:49,805 --> 00:28:53,803
The lad had seasoned his mutton
with wine berry and not mead!
710
00:28:53,909 --> 00:28:55,342
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
711
00:28:56,011 --> 00:29:00,175
Hey, did you see that spell of
unbreakable madness I casted on those orcs?
712
00:29:00,282 --> 00:29:02,045
I don't think so.
713
00:29:02,751 --> 00:29:04,878
MAN: The length of a moon,
hence "honeymoon."
714
00:29:06,688 --> 00:29:09,589
Eight hours down,
142 to go.
715
00:29:09,691 --> 00:29:11,420
This sucks ass.
716
00:29:11,527 --> 00:29:14,553
Dude, I just spent the
afternoon in Middle-earth
717
00:29:14,663 --> 00:29:17,097
with glee-glop and the
floopty-doos, all right?
718
00:29:17,199 --> 00:29:18,257
Give me a fucking break.
719
00:29:18,367 --> 00:29:19,698
I got fucking carjacked.
720
00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:21,200
Yeah? Well, I got dumped.
721
00:29:21,303 --> 00:29:22,736
You deserved it!
722
00:29:23,739 --> 00:29:25,263
I hate your face.
723
00:29:25,374 --> 00:29:27,535
I hate your face.
724
00:29:35,617 --> 00:29:37,209
Ronnie! Ronnie!
Take the wheel!
725
00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:38,411
Yeah.
AUGIE: What are you doing?
726
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,181
That is not safe!
He can't drive!
727
00:29:40,289 --> 00:29:41,313
This is unsafe.
728
00:29:41,423 --> 00:29:42,617
Okay, stop! Stop! Okay!
729
00:29:42,724 --> 00:29:45,318
What the fuck?
I'm driving! What...
730
00:29:47,663 --> 00:29:48,721
Oh, my God!
731
00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:50,092
Nice. Look what
you started.
732
00:29:50,199 --> 00:29:51,632
Happy now?
RONNIE: I'm gonna kill you!
733
00:29:51,733 --> 00:29:53,360
AUGIE: What did I do?
734
00:30:01,777 --> 00:30:03,972
So I guess I'll pick you
up tomorrow around 9:00?
735
00:30:04,079 --> 00:30:05,603
Uh, could we make it 10:00?
736
00:30:05,714 --> 00:30:08,308
Kid, you wanna spend
some hours together or not?
737
00:30:08,417 --> 00:30:11,477
Dude, if I'm gonna have to chauffeur
your asses around, let's make it 10:00.
738
00:30:11,587 --> 00:30:12,611
Yeah.
739
00:30:12,721 --> 00:30:15,155
Hey, Danny, you wanna
come see my turtle?
740
00:30:15,257 --> 00:30:16,690
I'm fine.
741
00:30:20,495 --> 00:30:21,462
(ENGINE STARTS)
742
00:30:21,763 --> 00:30:23,890
RONNIE: Of course he
has a turtle.
743
00:30:29,571 --> 00:30:30,970
See you tomorrow, Ronnie.
744
00:30:31,073 --> 00:30:32,438
Fuck you, Anson!
745
00:30:32,541 --> 00:30:33,565
Never gets old.
746
00:30:33,675 --> 00:30:34,903
Wait, wait, wait.
747
00:30:35,010 --> 00:30:36,341
You bitch!
748
00:30:36,445 --> 00:30:38,208
(RONNIE CHUCKLING)
749
00:30:40,249 --> 00:30:41,216
(GRUNTS)
750
00:30:50,525 --> 00:30:52,152
Oh, my God.
She's moving out.
751
00:30:52,261 --> 00:30:54,092
Dude, that's harsh.
752
00:30:56,231 --> 00:30:57,323
Shit.
753
00:30:58,567 --> 00:30:59,659
Wow, you weren't
kidding around.
754
00:30:59,768 --> 00:31:01,065
Yeah, I'm sorry.
755
00:31:01,169 --> 00:31:03,103
I wanted to be gone
by the time you got home.
756
00:31:03,205 --> 00:31:06,140
No, it's all right.
This is better, you know.
757
00:31:06,241 --> 00:31:09,438
Now we get to share the
moment with Wheeler and...
758
00:31:10,445 --> 00:31:11,810
Becca and Sarah.
759
00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:13,107
Yeah, and Becca
and Sarah.
760
00:31:13,215 --> 00:31:15,149
Who you've met,
like, 127 times.
761
00:31:15,250 --> 00:31:17,115
I know.
Keys.
762
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,987
Beth, come on.
You don't have to do this.
763
00:31:21,657 --> 00:31:23,921
I left you the Crock-Pot.
764
00:31:24,026 --> 00:31:26,187
I know you like chili.
765
00:31:34,970 --> 00:31:39,998
I know it's really hard for you right
now, but I just want you to know that
766
00:31:40,108 --> 00:31:42,770
when you love something,
you set it free,
767
00:31:42,878 --> 00:31:45,870
and if it's meant
to be, you just...
768
00:31:47,416 --> 00:31:49,680
You take it back,
and it comes...
769
00:31:49,785 --> 00:31:51,616
Yeah, I know where
you're going with it.
770
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,679
Yeah, and if she doesn't come back, I'd
go for that friend of hers in the sweater.
771
00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:59,852
I know she's a few pounds overweight,
but, you know, in my experience,
772
00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:03,089
it's the bigger ones that
do way more stuff.
773
00:32:03,198 --> 00:32:04,256
Good talk, Wheeler.
774
00:32:04,366 --> 00:32:05,993
Pick you up at 10:00.
775
00:32:16,645 --> 00:32:17,634
Hi, Ronnie.
776
00:32:17,746 --> 00:32:19,270
How are you today?
What are you doing here?
777
00:32:19,381 --> 00:32:20,678
I told you I'd pick
you up at 10:00, right?
778
00:32:20,782 --> 00:32:22,044
But I thought
you'd pussy out.
779
00:32:22,150 --> 00:32:26,519
Well, you see? It's wonderful. We're
learning so much about each other.
780
00:32:32,928 --> 00:32:34,987
Hey! You must be Wheeler.
781
00:32:35,097 --> 00:32:36,689
I'm Karen.
Hi, Karen.
782
00:32:36,798 --> 00:32:38,663
Wow, you look way too young
to be Ronnie's mother.
783
00:32:38,767 --> 00:32:40,166
What are you,
the babysitter?
784
00:32:40,268 --> 00:32:41,929
(GIGGLING)
You're funny.
785
00:32:42,037 --> 00:32:44,562
You're gonna need that sense of humor
if you're gonna keep up with my son.
786
00:32:44,673 --> 00:32:47,403
It's about time Sturdy Wings
found someone who could.
787
00:32:47,509 --> 00:32:51,570
Yeah, well, I think that
Ronnie's a great little dude.
788
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,342
"A great little dude"?
You're cute.
789
00:32:55,917 --> 00:32:57,077
You ready, pal?
790
00:32:57,185 --> 00:32:58,914
I ain't your pal, vanilla.
791
00:32:59,454 --> 00:33:01,479
Karen, would you mind
signing my hours sheet?
792
00:33:01,590 --> 00:33:03,148
Sure.
Great.
793
00:33:04,526 --> 00:33:05,686
Well.
794
00:33:06,762 --> 00:33:08,354
All right.
You boys have fun.
795
00:33:08,463 --> 00:33:10,954
His idea of fun is a
fucking pottery class, yo.
796
00:33:11,066 --> 00:33:14,627
Hey. Hey, hey.
Watch your mouth, little man.
797
00:33:16,571 --> 00:33:17,538
I love you.
798
00:33:17,639 --> 00:33:18,765
I love you, too.
799
00:33:24,279 --> 00:33:25,769
I got shotgun!
800
00:33:28,283 --> 00:33:30,342
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
801
00:33:30,452 --> 00:33:32,420
Stop. Who are you?
What do you want?
802
00:33:32,521 --> 00:33:35,547
I'm Danny from Sturdy Wings.
I'm here for Augie.
803
00:33:35,657 --> 00:33:38,854
Oh. I'm sorry. Augie, right.
He'll be out in a minute.
804
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,359
Let me ask you something,
805
00:33:40,462 --> 00:33:43,090
because you're one of these guys
that's good with kids, right?
806
00:33:43,198 --> 00:33:45,063
Yeah. Totally.
807
00:33:45,167 --> 00:33:46,828
'Cause, the kid, man,
I don't get it.
808
00:33:46,935 --> 00:33:48,926
He's into dragons
and fairies
809
00:33:49,037 --> 00:33:50,470
and, you know, hoboes.
810
00:33:50,572 --> 00:33:51,630
Right.
811
00:33:51,740 --> 00:33:53,674
So, I mean, what am I
supposed to say to him?
812
00:33:53,775 --> 00:33:54,799
Yeah. I don't know. I don't...
813
00:33:54,910 --> 00:33:57,777
Hey, but while I've got you
here in my personal space,
814
00:33:57,879 --> 00:34:00,541
I was wondering if you could maybe
sign off on my hours from yesterday.
815
00:34:00,649 --> 00:34:02,617
Oh, no, I don't...
I'm not the kid's parent.
816
00:34:02,717 --> 00:34:05,777
No, that's... Parental signatures
are mama's department. One second.
817
00:34:05,887 --> 00:34:09,288
Lynette! Augie's little buddy's here.
He needs your signature.
818
00:34:09,391 --> 00:34:11,916
Oh! Hi!
Hi.
819
00:34:12,027 --> 00:34:13,619
I'm Lynette.
I'm Danny.
820
00:34:13,728 --> 00:34:15,059
So good to meet you.
You, too.
821
00:34:15,163 --> 00:34:18,291
I was wondering if you could maybe
sign my hours sheet from yesterday.
822
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:19,492
Sure!
823
00:34:20,068 --> 00:34:24,937
You know, we are so thrilled that you are
gonna be spending some time with Augie,
824
00:34:25,407 --> 00:34:29,138
because, you know,
just how he is.
825
00:34:30,445 --> 00:34:31,434
How is he?
826
00:34:31,546 --> 00:34:35,573
I'm just glad you're gonna be getting
him out of his own little world a bit.
827
00:34:35,684 --> 00:34:38,551
It's like, "Get out of here!
Leave home!"
828
00:34:39,321 --> 00:34:41,380
Hey, why don't you come over
for dinner on Saturday night,
829
00:34:41,490 --> 00:34:43,219
and we can get to know you
a little bit better?
830
00:34:43,325 --> 00:34:47,284
I don't think so. It's not you.
I hate having dinner with people.
831
00:34:47,395 --> 00:34:48,487
Hey, Augie, ready to...
832
00:34:48,597 --> 00:34:49,586
Yeah, let's go.
Yeah.
833
00:34:56,371 --> 00:34:57,531
MAN 1: I think
they're over here.
834
00:34:57,639 --> 00:34:59,607
MAN 2: I'm disappointed.
This isn't gonna hurt anybody.
835
00:35:01,910 --> 00:35:03,969
So, your parents... Wow.
836
00:35:04,212 --> 00:35:05,839
Jim is not my dad.
837
00:35:06,448 --> 00:35:09,474
Okay. Well, that's
probably good.
838
00:35:10,685 --> 00:35:13,711
MAN: Hey, hey, Odeon.
Make way for King Argotron!
839
00:35:17,192 --> 00:35:18,318
Dude.
840
00:35:21,496 --> 00:35:23,726
Bow as your daughter does.
841
00:35:25,066 --> 00:35:26,397
Xanthians.
842
00:35:27,002 --> 00:35:28,367
Why bother?
843
00:35:29,271 --> 00:35:30,795
Good one, sir.
844
00:35:34,009 --> 00:35:35,601
Man, why do you
bow for that guy?
845
00:35:35,710 --> 00:35:38,144
Because he's the king, and
he rules the entire realm.
846
00:35:38,246 --> 00:35:39,975
He rules the entire realm?
Yeah.
847
00:35:40,081 --> 00:35:44,381
My bad. Is that when he is or isn't
whacking it to The Sims?
848
00:35:45,487 --> 00:35:48,012
You know, Augie, maybe you should
think about losing the cape.
849
00:35:48,123 --> 00:35:49,784
At least in public.
850
00:35:49,891 --> 00:35:52,451
People tend to avoid
people in capes.
851
00:35:52,561 --> 00:35:54,859
I know that's not
the case here.
852
00:35:55,564 --> 00:35:57,429
Look at these people.
853
00:36:00,468 --> 00:36:01,935
(HORN HONKS)
854
00:36:03,038 --> 00:36:04,562
I like these people.
No, I know.
855
00:36:04,673 --> 00:36:08,165
But, you know, this isn't reality.
It's not the real world.
856
00:36:08,276 --> 00:36:11,677
I know that, but in this
world, I don't have to be me.
857
00:36:12,881 --> 00:36:14,872
WOMAN: I'm stuck again!
858
00:36:14,983 --> 00:36:17,349
Well, looks like maybe one of
your people could use a hand.
859
00:36:17,452 --> 00:36:20,319
Help! Help! Help!
Her, I don't like.
860
00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:31,130
Okay. This is my place.
861
00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:33,099
Shit hole.
862
00:36:34,369 --> 00:36:38,066
Look, kid, you're obviously not
a big fan of me, and that's okay,
863
00:36:38,173 --> 00:36:39,868
but I think there's
something to be gained
864
00:36:39,975 --> 00:36:43,069
from us spending 139
more hours together.
865
00:36:43,912 --> 00:36:45,072
Yeah.
866
00:36:46,815 --> 00:36:48,908
You know, my dad left me
when I was young,
867
00:36:49,017 --> 00:36:51,008
so I know it sucks,
868
00:36:51,119 --> 00:36:54,350
but what doesn't kill us
makes us stronger, right?
869
00:36:54,456 --> 00:36:57,152
Says the punk living
in the shit hole.
870
00:36:58,727 --> 00:36:59,853
Who are these clowns?
871
00:36:59,961 --> 00:37:00,950
WHEELER: Kiss?
872
00:37:01,062 --> 00:37:02,359
You don't know who Kiss is?
873
00:37:02,464 --> 00:37:03,954
No. Never heard of them.
874
00:37:04,065 --> 00:37:05,259
They look like
idiots to me.
875
00:37:05,367 --> 00:37:06,356
No, no, no, dude.
876
00:37:06,468 --> 00:37:08,493
These are four of the
smartest guys who ever lived.
877
00:37:08,603 --> 00:37:10,833
They're these Jewish guys
that grew up in New York,
878
00:37:10,939 --> 00:37:13,032
and they put on guitars
and makeup to get girls,
879
00:37:13,141 --> 00:37:14,836
and all of their songs
are about fucking!
880
00:37:14,943 --> 00:37:16,570
I'm listening.
881
00:37:18,246 --> 00:37:20,578
(SONG PLAYS ON STEREO)
882
00:37:20,682 --> 00:37:25,016
Seriously, this song is called Love
Gun, and it's about Paul Stanley's dick
883
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,680
and how this girl's gonna
get some of his dick!
884
00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:29,120
Cool.
885
00:37:29,224 --> 00:37:30,555
I didn't know Jews
could sing like that.
886
00:37:30,659 --> 00:37:34,789
No. No. They couldn't at the time.
That's why they had to dress like clowns.
887
00:37:34,896 --> 00:37:36,158
This got them girls?
888
00:37:36,264 --> 00:37:39,700
Get this! They've been getting
pussy nonstop for 30 years!
889
00:37:39,801 --> 00:37:41,962
They're probably fucking right
now, and they're old dudes!
890
00:37:42,070 --> 00:37:43,799
They put makeup on,
and it's all good!
891
00:37:43,905 --> 00:37:45,031
No shit?
892
00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:48,871
(SINGING ALONG)
You pull the trigger of my
893
00:37:50,011 --> 00:37:51,239
Love gun
894
00:37:51,346 --> 00:37:53,576
You see, Ronnie?
His dick is the gun!
895
00:37:56,551 --> 00:37:58,451
Love gun
896
00:37:59,454 --> 00:38:01,514
Love gun
897
00:38:02,957 --> 00:38:05,391
Okay, we logged 14
hours this weekend.
898
00:38:05,493 --> 00:38:06,892
That's not gonna
be enough.
899
00:38:06,995 --> 00:38:10,089
Somehow we gotta get them
on the weekdays, too.
900
00:38:10,198 --> 00:38:13,224
Hey, we could pretend to be their
uncles, pull them out of school.
901
00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:14,767
That just sounds
kind of creepy.
902
00:38:14,869 --> 00:38:16,063
Yeah, I guess.
903
00:38:16,171 --> 00:38:18,833
Hey! Sexy like a
chocolate strawberry.
904
00:38:21,810 --> 00:38:22,777
What's her problem?
905
00:38:22,877 --> 00:38:23,969
I don't know.
906
00:38:24,079 --> 00:38:25,842
I mean, you laid that
genius line on her.
907
00:38:25,947 --> 00:38:27,346
I can't believe she
didn't take your bait.
908
00:38:27,449 --> 00:38:28,643
I know, right?
909
00:38:29,451 --> 00:38:30,975
SWEENY: Well, well, well.
910
00:38:31,086 --> 00:38:33,680
If it isn't Mr. Bullshit
and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit.
911
00:38:33,788 --> 00:38:34,914
In what way
are we full of shit?
912
00:38:35,023 --> 00:38:36,490
Which one of us
has the Ph. D?
913
00:38:36,591 --> 00:38:38,684
So how was your first
weekend with the boys?
914
00:38:38,793 --> 00:38:42,490
It was great. We did 14 hours.
Will you sign our sheets?
915
00:38:42,597 --> 00:38:45,225
Maybe give us a few more, just
for kicks? Round it up to 50?
916
00:38:45,333 --> 00:38:47,028
Don't you sass me.
917
00:38:47,135 --> 00:38:50,571
What, do you think I'm a pushover? You
know what I used to eat for breakfast?
918
00:38:50,672 --> 00:38:51,900
Cocaine.
919
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,068
You know what I
used to eat for lunch?
920
00:38:55,643 --> 00:38:56,735
Cocaine.
921
00:38:56,845 --> 00:38:58,369
What'd you have for dinner?
Was it cocaine?
922
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:03,417
I will sign your sheets, but you need to
know I am not here to service your hours.
923
00:39:03,518 --> 00:39:06,180
I'm here to service
these young boys.
924
00:39:06,287 --> 00:39:09,882
Do you think I give a shit
if you guys go to prison?
925
00:39:09,991 --> 00:39:11,959
I've been to prison. I have.
926
00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:13,891
I've been to prison.
927
00:39:14,295 --> 00:39:19,096
A prison of drugs, alcohol
and sick thoughts.
928
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,561
I used to have sick thoughts.
929
00:39:21,669 --> 00:39:23,830
So don't you come in here,
930
00:39:23,938 --> 00:39:26,702
preaching to me about hours
931
00:39:27,475 --> 00:39:31,935
when you're standing over there,
and you're standing over there,
932
00:39:32,046 --> 00:39:34,014
and I don't know
which way is up!
933
00:39:34,115 --> 00:39:35,446
Um...
Should we come back?
934
00:39:35,550 --> 00:39:36,744
We can come back.
Yeah.
935
00:39:36,851 --> 00:39:38,284
Come here.
936
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,855
We're having an overnight camping trip,
Big Bear this weekend.
937
00:39:41,956 --> 00:39:44,891
I suggest that you ask
your Littles to go with you.
938
00:39:44,993 --> 00:39:47,860
Maybe worry a little bit about them
and not so much about your hours.
939
00:39:47,962 --> 00:39:49,862
Overnight?
That's great. Sign us up.
940
00:39:49,964 --> 00:39:51,522
And, fellas,
will you do me a favor?
941
00:39:51,633 --> 00:39:54,033
Next time you
want to bullshit me,
942
00:39:54,636 --> 00:39:57,230
bullshit each
other instead, okay?
943
00:39:58,473 --> 00:40:00,304
See how that feels.
944
00:40:01,042 --> 00:40:02,737
Okay.
Yep.
945
00:40:02,844 --> 00:40:04,436
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
946
00:40:05,146 --> 00:40:06,477
All right.
947
00:40:07,582 --> 00:40:08,674
I hate camping.
948
00:40:08,783 --> 00:40:10,182
You could use a little
dose of the outdoors.
949
00:40:10,285 --> 00:40:13,584
Camping blows. It's dirty, and
I don't like sleeping on rocks.
950
00:40:13,688 --> 00:40:15,622
Bring some Ambien.
You'll sleep like a baby.
951
00:40:15,723 --> 00:40:19,557
There's always a guy with an acoustic guitar
that doesn't quite know how to play it.
952
00:40:20,428 --> 00:40:21,986
(SINGING) Kumbaya, my...
953
00:40:22,096 --> 00:40:23,085
Wait. I know it.
954
00:40:23,198 --> 00:40:24,165
Kumbaya
955
00:40:24,299 --> 00:40:26,631
You know.
Wait. I know it. Wait.
956
00:40:26,868 --> 00:40:29,496
Kumbaya, my Lord
957
00:40:31,306 --> 00:40:33,968
No. Wait.
Oh, yeah, I got it.
958
00:40:34,075 --> 00:40:35,099
This is it.
959
00:40:36,144 --> 00:40:38,169
I think that's got it.
960
00:40:39,914 --> 00:40:41,245
God damn it, Ronnie!
961
00:40:41,349 --> 00:40:43,010
What? 'Cause I'm black,
you think I did it?
962
00:40:43,117 --> 00:40:46,211
No, 'cause you did it
is why I think you did it.
963
00:40:47,522 --> 00:40:49,990
Let me tell you something.
I am not your Big, and I'll hit you.
964
00:40:50,091 --> 00:40:51,058
I will hit a child.
965
00:40:51,159 --> 00:40:53,252
I've never done that before,
but I will punch you in the face.
966
00:40:53,361 --> 00:40:54,623
Let's dance,
Ben Affleck!
967
00:40:54,729 --> 00:40:56,196
Ronnie! Leave him alone.
968
00:40:56,297 --> 00:40:57,286
Fine!
969
00:40:57,398 --> 00:40:59,263
But I'm watching
you, Daredevil.
970
00:40:59,367 --> 00:41:02,302
Looks like you guys
could use a hand up here.
971
00:41:02,737 --> 00:41:03,931
(LAUGHS)
972
00:41:04,038 --> 00:41:05,699
MARTIN: Come on, man!
Just having some fun.
973
00:41:05,807 --> 00:41:07,206
Let's take a hike.
RONNIE: Thank you.
974
00:41:07,308 --> 00:41:11,176
Don't worry. Once the little ones are
asleep, I'll break out the PG stuff.
975
00:41:11,279 --> 00:41:12,746
Kumbaya, huh?
976
00:41:12,847 --> 00:41:14,075
You don't happen to
know any Wings, do you?
977
00:41:14,182 --> 00:41:15,479
Wings? Yeah.
978
00:41:15,884 --> 00:41:17,852
(SINGING) Love, take me down
to the streets
979
00:41:17,952 --> 00:41:19,317
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
980
00:41:20,088 --> 00:41:23,148
Man! She got some
boobies on her!
981
00:41:23,258 --> 00:41:24,782
You sure do like
boobies, Ronnie.
982
00:41:24,893 --> 00:41:25,917
I sure do.
983
00:41:26,027 --> 00:41:28,723
Sometimes I call myself
the Booby Watcher.
984
00:41:28,830 --> 00:41:32,163
Even got my own comic book.
Adventures of the Booby Watcher.
985
00:41:32,267 --> 00:41:34,827
Okay. You know,
I got a theory about boobies.
986
00:41:34,936 --> 00:41:36,267
Really?
Yeah.
987
00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:38,339
You see, there are as many women
as there are men on this planet.
988
00:41:38,439 --> 00:41:39,463
True that, true that.
989
00:41:39,574 --> 00:41:43,101
And every woman has two
boobs, for the most part.
990
00:41:43,778 --> 00:41:46,474
So therefore, there's twice
as many boobs as there are men.
991
00:41:46,581 --> 00:41:48,515
We're outnumbered,
and it's overwhelming.
992
00:41:48,616 --> 00:41:50,948
We're powerless.
We have to accept it.
993
00:41:51,052 --> 00:41:53,577
I like your take
on boobies.
994
00:41:54,255 --> 00:41:56,018
And I like boobies.
995
00:41:56,124 --> 00:41:57,648
Kid, you got a lot to learn.
996
00:41:57,759 --> 00:41:58,851
I know what I'm doing.
Really?
997
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,484
So you're aware that you've
committed one of the most
998
00:42:00,595 --> 00:42:01,562
common rookie
boob-watching errors?
999
00:42:03,111 --> 00:42:04,203
What you mean?
1000
00:42:04,312 --> 00:42:05,336
Never stare at
the boobies, kid.
1001
00:42:05,447 --> 00:42:08,075
Yeah, once you get caught,
the game's over.
1002
00:42:08,350 --> 00:42:10,113
But how?
It's called training.
1003
00:42:10,218 --> 00:42:12,743
You know, being aware
without drawing attention.
1004
00:42:12,854 --> 00:42:15,550
You don't think I've noticed the
34-C's in the camouflage tank top
1005
00:42:15,657 --> 00:42:17,352
setting up the tent
directly to the left of us?
1006
00:42:17,459 --> 00:42:20,860
How about those twin cannons hiking up
the mountain ridge 50 yards due west?
1007
00:42:20,962 --> 00:42:22,190
Or the ridge itself?
1008
00:42:22,297 --> 00:42:23,628
Round mounds of
grass shaped like...
1009
00:42:24,466 --> 00:42:25,433
Boobies!
1010
00:42:25,534 --> 00:42:26,523
Don't look over there.
Look here.
1011
00:42:27,302 --> 00:42:29,827
Yeah, focus.
You'll get it.
1012
00:42:30,172 --> 00:42:33,198
Too bad old Sweeny herself
couldn't come up here for this trip.
1013
00:42:33,308 --> 00:42:34,366
That would have
been fun, huh?
1014
00:42:34,476 --> 00:42:35,568
Yeah. A real blast.
1015
00:42:35,677 --> 00:42:38,271
Yeah, she probably just
had to hold down the fort.
1016
00:42:38,380 --> 00:42:39,369
(CHUCKLES)
1017
00:42:39,481 --> 00:42:41,278
You got a thing
for Sweeny, Martin?
1018
00:42:41,616 --> 00:42:45,575
Sweeney? Me? No.
Now that is a knee slapper.
1019
00:42:46,021 --> 00:42:47,283
Your erection is showing.
1020
00:42:47,489 --> 00:42:48,456
What?
1021
00:42:50,992 --> 00:42:51,959
You okay?
1022
00:42:55,363 --> 00:42:57,263
(SIGHING) Nature.
1023
00:42:57,566 --> 00:43:01,093
Did you know that bald eagles are known
to engage in a bizarre mating ritual
1024
00:43:01,203 --> 00:43:03,831
where two eagles fly upwards,
lock talons,
1025
00:43:04,472 --> 00:43:07,100
then fall towards the earth
while rotating,
1026
00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:09,268
separating moments before
they crash into the ground,
1027
00:43:09,544 --> 00:43:12,342
if, and only if, they
consummate their bird fuck?
1028
00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:16,848
If they don't, they're willing
to accept death by hard ground.
1029
00:43:17,586 --> 00:43:19,451
It's the ultimate race
against the clock.
1030
00:43:19,554 --> 00:43:20,885
Why are you
telling me this?
1031
00:43:20,989 --> 00:43:22,547
Why would I not?
1032
00:43:31,548 --> 00:43:33,243
Hi, Danny.
1033
00:43:33,350 --> 00:43:35,341
I forgot to tell you,
they'll be telling
1034
00:43:35,452 --> 00:43:36,441
(GRUNTS)
1035
00:43:36,553 --> 00:43:37,611
ghost stories later.
1036
00:43:37,721 --> 00:43:38,745
You should stop by.
1037
00:43:40,290 --> 00:43:44,420
And as the barn door
creaked open, ever so slowly,
1038
00:43:44,528 --> 00:43:47,497
standing there with
the moon at his back
1039
00:43:47,597 --> 00:43:52,364
and holding the severed head of the
pediatrician's mother in his hand,
1040
00:43:52,469 --> 00:43:55,267
was Philip,
1041
00:43:56,907 --> 00:43:57,896
the pizza delivery boy
1042
00:43:58,008 --> 00:44:00,374
from when they ordered pizza
at the beginning of the story!
1043
00:44:00,477 --> 00:44:02,342
Come on, you guys!
1044
00:44:02,446 --> 00:44:03,777
MARTIN: All right. Whatever!
Hey, come here.
1045
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:05,347
MARTIN: You guys
are unscareable.
1046
00:44:05,449 --> 00:44:07,576
Think you can do better?
Who's got a better story? Come on.
1047
00:44:07,684 --> 00:44:09,948
You guys are so smart.
Who's got a scarier story than me?
1048
00:44:10,053 --> 00:44:11,953
Yes?
So what's up?
1049
00:44:12,055 --> 00:44:14,250
I don't know.
What's up with you?
1050
00:44:14,358 --> 00:44:15,882
I know you're engaged.
I haven't forgotten.
1051
00:44:15,992 --> 00:44:16,959
Uh-huh.
1052
00:44:17,094 --> 00:44:18,254
So what's this?
1053
00:44:18,362 --> 00:44:19,329
Ooh.
1054
00:44:19,596 --> 00:44:20,722
Those are my testicles.
1055
00:44:20,831 --> 00:44:21,957
Yeah.
1056
00:44:22,065 --> 00:44:24,124
Listen, I have an
arrangement with my fiancé.
1057
00:44:24,234 --> 00:44:28,694
I'm completely faithful to him within
the area codes of greater Los Angeles.
1058
00:44:28,805 --> 00:44:32,764
Out here, I'm just another
woman who's ready to cheat.
1059
00:44:32,876 --> 00:44:34,639
Give me two minutes.
1060
00:44:34,745 --> 00:44:37,509
How about you, Daniel?
You think you can top it?
1061
00:44:37,647 --> 00:44:39,205
It's Danny.
Oh.
1062
00:44:39,316 --> 00:44:44,549
(SINGING) Oh, Danny boy
The Danny boys are Danny boys
1063
00:44:45,555 --> 00:44:48,922
Come on, man! We're on pins
and needles. Give us a story.
1064
00:44:49,025 --> 00:44:51,118
Okay, I've got a really
good horror story,
1065
00:44:51,228 --> 00:44:54,391
and it's particularly
terrifying because it's true.
1066
00:44:54,498 --> 00:44:56,432
Oh, a true story!
1067
00:44:56,533 --> 00:45:00,401
In countries all over the
world, including our own,
1068
00:45:00,537 --> 00:45:03,199
children, many
of them just like you,
1069
00:45:04,007 --> 00:45:06,498
are abducted and sold
1070
00:45:06,610 --> 00:45:09,374
into the world of
underground sex trafficking.
1071
00:45:09,679 --> 00:45:10,737
WOMAN: What is he saying?
Okay!
1072
00:45:12,082 --> 00:45:14,448
MARTIN: I'm gonna stop you there,
Danny boy. That is a scary story.
1073
00:45:14,551 --> 00:45:17,486
Story time is over! Everybody,
let's break into our groups.
1074
00:45:17,587 --> 00:45:21,216
Group A, come with me for
Martin's midnight mystery hike.
1075
00:45:21,324 --> 00:45:23,485
And group B, go with Duane.
What you got on tap, Duane?
1076
00:45:23,593 --> 00:45:26,289
We are gonna make some
s'mores using white chocolate.
1077
00:45:26,396 --> 00:45:27,385
Oh.
1078
00:45:27,497 --> 00:45:30,660
Well, I'm not sure I agree with
that, but to each their own.
1079
00:45:30,767 --> 00:45:32,860
Hey, hey, Danny.
Is this all your Ambien?
1080
00:45:32,969 --> 00:45:33,958
Yeah.
1081
00:45:34,070 --> 00:45:36,197
Okay, 'cause Connie
and I are gonna take some,
1082
00:45:36,306 --> 00:45:38,035
and then we're gonna stay up
as late as we can,
1083
00:45:38,141 --> 00:45:39,802
because if you fight
the urge to go to sleep,
1084
00:45:39,910 --> 00:45:42,174
things start to get all trippy,
and then we're gonna fuck.
1085
00:45:42,279 --> 00:45:43,337
Connie who's engaged.
1086
00:45:43,447 --> 00:45:44,539
Oh, yeah.
1087
00:45:44,648 --> 00:45:48,482
You know what? Don't worry about
it. We'll make do with three each.
1088
00:45:56,226 --> 00:45:58,786
Fight it. Come on.
Stay awake.
1089
00:45:59,563 --> 00:46:02,430
You know, a lot of people don't
realize that bushes, just like flowers,
1090
00:46:02,532 --> 00:46:04,762
emit a wonderful aroma,
especially at night.
1091
00:46:04,868 --> 00:46:06,460
Who wants to sniff
this bush?
1092
00:46:13,577 --> 00:46:16,045
(SIGHS) So Ronnie's out on
some kind of hike.
1093
00:46:16,146 --> 00:46:17,204
Where's Wheeler?
1094
00:46:17,314 --> 00:46:18,542
He's having sex
with a married lady.
1095
00:46:18,648 --> 00:46:19,637
Oh.
1096
00:46:19,749 --> 00:46:21,580
Are you sewing?
Yeah.
1097
00:46:22,052 --> 00:46:24,282
This is my country's
emblem.
1098
00:46:26,389 --> 00:46:29,586
Do you think we can speak
in private for a second?
1099
00:46:31,428 --> 00:46:32,793
Yeah. Yeah.
1100
00:46:34,397 --> 00:46:36,695
I already talked to Kuzzik
and Artonius,
1101
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:41,828
and we would like to officially invite
you to be a soldier in the Xanthian army.
1102
00:46:41,938 --> 00:46:45,499
Well, that's very kind of you, but
I would like to respectfully decline.
1103
00:46:45,609 --> 00:46:46,701
I'm kind of a pacifist.
1104
00:46:46,810 --> 00:46:48,801
I don't really believe
in imaginary bloodshed.
1105
00:46:48,912 --> 00:46:51,938
But there's room in Laire
for all belief systems.
1106
00:46:52,048 --> 00:46:55,677
Even early barbaric
modalities have their place.
1107
00:46:56,953 --> 00:46:59,319
Augie, look, you're
a good kid. I like you,
1108
00:46:59,422 --> 00:47:01,890
but I'm not really into
the whole buddy-buddy,
1109
00:47:01,992 --> 00:47:04,290
let's-go-do-stuff-together
kind of thing.
1110
00:47:04,394 --> 00:47:06,624
Well, why are you here?
1111
00:47:09,399 --> 00:47:11,162
It's court-ordered.
1112
00:47:11,801 --> 00:47:13,701
What did you do?
1113
00:47:14,471 --> 00:47:17,338
I just had one of those days
where you wake up and say,
1114
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,432
"Where did the last
10 years of my life go?"
1115
00:47:20,544 --> 00:47:23,741
I asked my girlfriend
to marry me out of impulse.
1116
00:47:24,414 --> 00:47:25,904
She dumped me.
1117
00:47:26,750 --> 00:47:31,084
And then I ran a truck that looks
like a bull into a statue of a horse.
1118
00:47:31,788 --> 00:47:33,551
I'm not here by choice
either, by the way.
1119
00:47:33,657 --> 00:47:34,715
No?
1120
00:47:34,824 --> 00:47:36,519
My guidance counselor
signed me up.
1121
00:47:36,626 --> 00:47:38,287
Really?
Yeah.
1122
00:47:38,395 --> 00:47:41,922
Said anyone who wears a cape and
has a sword should have more friends.
1123
00:47:42,032 --> 00:47:43,795
Whoop-dee-doo, right?
1124
00:47:44,601 --> 00:47:46,262
So both of us don't
want to be here.
1125
00:47:46,369 --> 00:47:47,631
No.
1126
00:47:47,737 --> 00:47:49,864
Well, we got that in common.
1127
00:47:51,441 --> 00:47:52,806
So do you have
a girlfriend?
1128
00:47:52,909 --> 00:47:54,035
No. What?
1129
00:47:54,244 --> 00:47:57,372
Why would you ask...
No, I don't have a girlfriend.
1130
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,415
But what about that girl you're always
looking at, with the cap and the...
1131
00:48:00,517 --> 00:48:02,417
I don't know what
you're talking about.
1132
00:48:02,519 --> 00:48:04,885
Come on!
Don't bullshit me.
1133
00:48:04,988 --> 00:48:06,751
You're always
looking at her.
1134
00:48:06,856 --> 00:48:09,347
You mean Esplen,
the Goddess of Navalore?
1135
00:48:09,459 --> 00:48:10,483
I don't know. Probably.
1136
00:48:10,594 --> 00:48:11,618
Her name's Sarah.
1137
00:48:11,728 --> 00:48:12,820
Sarah.
1138
00:48:13,229 --> 00:48:14,787
Ah, Sarah.
1139
00:48:16,166 --> 00:48:17,224
You ever talk to her?
1140
00:48:17,334 --> 00:48:18,392
No.
1141
00:48:18,501 --> 00:48:21,163
I've killed her a couple of times in
battle, but that's not really anything.
1142
00:48:21,271 --> 00:48:22,203
Talk to her.
1143
00:48:22,305 --> 00:48:23,567
No, I can't talk to her.
1144
00:48:23,673 --> 00:48:26,506
Romance her. Give her that
patch of yours. She'll love it.
1145
00:48:26,610 --> 00:48:27,634
No, I can't give her this.
1146
00:48:27,744 --> 00:48:28,938
She'll be flattered!
Why not?
1147
00:48:29,045 --> 00:48:30,774
I made it for you.
1148
00:48:33,183 --> 00:48:34,150
You made that for me?
1149
00:48:34,250 --> 00:48:35,308
Yeah.
1150
00:48:36,152 --> 00:48:37,244
Great. Now I gotta do it.
1151
00:48:37,354 --> 00:48:38,753
Yeah, that kind
of was my plan.
1152
00:48:38,855 --> 00:48:40,379
That was so low, dude.
1153
00:48:45,362 --> 00:48:47,887
No. Come on, Connie.
Stay awake.
1154
00:48:51,234 --> 00:48:52,326
Fuck.
1155
00:48:53,903 --> 00:48:55,268
I gotta pee.
1156
00:48:56,106 --> 00:48:57,232
Yep.
1157
00:48:59,843 --> 00:49:01,470
Hey! Martin!
1158
00:49:01,578 --> 00:49:02,567
Okay.
1159
00:49:02,679 --> 00:49:04,704
What are you
doing out here?
1160
00:49:04,814 --> 00:49:06,338
I'm just doing my
perimeter check.
1161
00:49:06,449 --> 00:49:09,850
Hey, did you know that
dinosaurs are not extinct?
1162
00:49:09,953 --> 00:49:13,480
Because birds are dinosaurs,
and they're everywhere.
1163
00:49:13,690 --> 00:49:15,715
Okay!
1164
00:49:16,326 --> 00:49:18,226
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
Now, all right.
1165
00:49:18,862 --> 00:49:20,955
I gotta pee.
I really gotta pee.
1166
00:49:25,568 --> 00:49:27,035
Look at that.
1167
00:49:27,771 --> 00:49:29,830
Yo, Wheeler!
You in there?
1168
00:49:34,444 --> 00:49:35,809
Oh, my God.
1169
00:49:37,013 --> 00:49:38,708
MAN 1: Dude.
MAN 2: Nice, man.
1170
00:49:38,815 --> 00:49:40,373
Oh, boy.
1171
00:49:40,483 --> 00:49:43,418
This is a classic case
of guy on the ground.
1172
00:49:50,627 --> 00:49:52,117
I'm sorry.
I don't care.
1173
00:49:52,228 --> 00:49:53,320
Okay.
1174
00:49:53,563 --> 00:49:56,498
So I heard there was
some sex on the trip
1175
00:49:56,599 --> 00:49:58,328
and some drugs, too.
1176
00:49:59,035 --> 00:50:01,595
Only thing missing
was rock 'n' roll.
1177
00:50:04,607 --> 00:50:06,768
What was Danny doing
with those Ambiens?
1178
00:50:06,876 --> 00:50:09,276
He has trouble sleeping
outdoors.
1179
00:50:10,146 --> 00:50:13,479
How did Wheeler come to be
naked in the center of camp?
1180
00:50:13,583 --> 00:50:14,880
He was sleepwalking.
1181
00:50:14,984 --> 00:50:16,849
Danny ever offer you drugs?
Well...
1182
00:50:16,953 --> 00:50:18,648
Answer me.
No, ma'am.
1183
00:50:19,022 --> 00:50:21,354
Did Wheeler ever
expose himself to you?
1184
00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:22,720
Hell no!
1185
00:50:25,128 --> 00:50:28,655
Fellows? These young gentlemen
here have decided your fates.
1186
00:50:28,765 --> 00:50:32,599
If it was up to me, I'd lock you both
up, but the boys are saying you're okay.
1187
00:50:32,702 --> 00:50:35,865
This is your last chance.
Start acting like Bigs.
1188
00:50:38,408 --> 00:50:39,500
Thanks, guys.
1189
00:50:39,609 --> 00:50:41,133
Suck it, Reindeer Games!
1190
00:50:41,244 --> 00:50:42,404
I'm not Ben Affleck.
1191
00:50:42,512 --> 00:50:44,377
You white?
Then you Ben Affleck.
1192
00:50:44,481 --> 00:50:46,278
Right, Wheeler?
Yeah. You are white.
1193
00:50:46,382 --> 00:50:47,872
That's true,
I am white.
1194
00:50:47,984 --> 00:50:49,178
Let's go.
1195
00:50:50,019 --> 00:50:52,579
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
1196
00:51:04,334 --> 00:51:05,392
Ready to go?
1197
00:51:05,502 --> 00:51:07,129
Yeah. I'm ready. All right.
1198
00:51:07,237 --> 00:51:08,363
Excellent!
1199
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,235
You are going down!
1200
00:51:13,343 --> 00:51:15,538
Don't you mess
with my dark arts.
1201
00:51:16,546 --> 00:51:17,774
You shall be slain.
1202
00:51:17,881 --> 00:51:19,712
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
1203
00:51:20,617 --> 00:51:23,313
Fuck my cock! Sorry.
1204
00:51:24,354 --> 00:51:25,685
(LAUGHS)
1205
00:51:26,189 --> 00:51:28,214
JJ: I have a question, Wheeler.
- Yes, JJ.
1206
00:51:28,324 --> 00:51:32,317
How many dates do you have to go out
with a girl before you get to touch her...
1207
00:51:32,428 --> 00:51:33,895
Boobs?
Yeah.
1208
00:51:34,731 --> 00:51:35,720
Good question.
1209
00:51:35,832 --> 00:51:36,799
ARTONIUS: So you get
hit in the arm,
1210
00:51:36,900 --> 00:51:38,458
you lose your arm.
Yes.
1211
00:51:38,568 --> 00:51:40,035
You gotta put it behind
you, like this.
1212
00:51:40,136 --> 00:51:42,104
You get hit in the leg,
you lose the leg.
1213
00:51:42,205 --> 00:51:43,194
See you.
1214
00:51:43,306 --> 00:51:44,534
So you gotta hop.
1215
00:51:44,641 --> 00:51:45,835
You can't use it.
You gotta hop around?
1216
00:51:45,942 --> 00:51:47,136
Yeah.
Yeah, you gotta hop.
1217
00:51:47,243 --> 00:51:49,711
And if you get hit in
the chest, then you're...
1218
00:51:49,813 --> 00:51:51,178
(GROANS)
1219
00:51:51,281 --> 00:51:53,181
lifestyle you chose
1220
00:51:53,283 --> 00:51:55,274
could lead to dying sad and alone?
- What?
1221
00:51:55,385 --> 00:51:57,444
What about STDs? No.
Herpes?
1222
00:51:57,554 --> 00:52:00,148
Gonorrhea? At the very least, crabs.
- What the hell?
1223
00:52:00,256 --> 00:52:03,350
I don't have crabs. What have
you been telling them, Ronnie?
1224
00:52:03,459 --> 00:52:04,949
You got crabs.
1225
00:52:06,596 --> 00:52:07,620
Hi.
1226
00:52:17,273 --> 00:52:20,174
Come on, whitey, dance! Break
it on down! Get it funky!
1227
00:52:22,111 --> 00:52:23,373
He's out.
1228
00:52:34,858 --> 00:52:36,052
(GRUNTING)
1229
00:52:43,066 --> 00:52:44,693
Thank you.
Yep.
1230
00:52:45,802 --> 00:52:47,531
Call her. Sweep
her off her feet.
1231
00:52:47,637 --> 00:52:48,763
It's not that easy, Augie.
1232
00:52:48,872 --> 00:52:50,396
Just let her know
how you feel.
1233
00:52:50,506 --> 00:52:51,473
Give her one call.
1234
00:52:51,574 --> 00:52:52,768
All right. I'll...
1235
00:52:52,876 --> 00:52:54,468
Just get off my back.
1236
00:52:54,577 --> 00:52:56,204
Did you know in
the 14th century that
1237
00:52:56,312 --> 00:52:59,145
knights used to write love songs
and poems for the women they loved,
1238
00:52:59,249 --> 00:53:00,477
even if she was married?
1239
00:53:00,583 --> 00:53:01,914
No, I didn't know that.
1240
00:53:02,018 --> 00:53:03,042
Well, there you go.
1241
00:53:03,152 --> 00:53:04,449
It's her voice mail.
1242
00:53:04,554 --> 00:53:06,419
Hey, Beth. How's it going? It's me.
1243
00:53:06,522 --> 00:53:08,717
Tell her her hair is like 1,000 suns.
Look, I...
1244
00:53:08,825 --> 00:53:10,918
I was wondering if maybe
you wanted to get together.
1245
00:53:11,027 --> 00:53:12,392
I know there's a lot
of stuff I'd like to say.
1246
00:53:12,495 --> 00:53:13,689
(WHISPERING)
Whispering eye.
1247
00:53:13,796 --> 00:53:16,560
So, if you get a chance,
give me a call back and...
1248
00:53:16,666 --> 00:53:18,725
You long for her whispering eye.
We can...
1249
00:53:18,835 --> 00:53:20,166
We can see each other.
1250
00:53:20,270 --> 00:53:21,237
I'd love to see you.
1251
00:53:21,337 --> 00:53:22,395
And her whispering eye.
1252
00:53:22,505 --> 00:53:24,473
And your whispering eye.
1253
00:53:25,174 --> 00:53:26,698
All right. Bye.
1254
00:53:28,177 --> 00:53:29,701
Whispering eye?
1255
00:53:30,179 --> 00:53:31,976
It means vagina.
1256
00:53:33,283 --> 00:53:34,648
(SUPPRESSING LAUGHTER)
1257
00:53:34,751 --> 00:53:36,343
It means vagina.
1258
00:53:37,086 --> 00:53:38,610
That's a classy
move, man.
1259
00:53:38,721 --> 00:53:39,915
It means vagina.
1260
00:53:40,023 --> 00:53:43,322
Yeah. Get your whispering
eye in the cab, Augie.
1261
00:53:43,826 --> 00:53:44,986
AUGIE: (LAUGHING)
Vagina!
1262
00:53:49,866 --> 00:53:50,924
DANNY: Hey.
1263
00:53:52,669 --> 00:53:53,693
Hi.
1264
00:53:54,470 --> 00:53:55,698
Thanks for meeting me.
1265
00:53:55,805 --> 00:53:58,706
I got you a venti chai,
1266
00:53:59,175 --> 00:54:02,269
which is what they call
a large here, which I love.
1267
00:54:02,378 --> 00:54:03,436
Wow.
1268
00:54:03,980 --> 00:54:06,107
There's a transformation.
1269
00:54:06,215 --> 00:54:09,378
Yes, well, you know, I've been doing
this community service for almost a month,
1270
00:54:09,485 --> 00:54:13,478
and I really feel as if it's given
me some perspective on things.
1271
00:54:13,589 --> 00:54:15,523
Well, that's great.
I hope that's true, Danny.
1272
00:54:15,625 --> 00:54:17,388
So let's get married.
1273
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:19,751
Okay, I'm gonna leave now.
Wait.
1274
00:54:19,862 --> 00:54:22,194
Danny, you are not taking
this breakup seriously.
1275
00:54:22,298 --> 00:54:24,459
Yeah, because
I don't want it.
1276
00:54:26,936 --> 00:54:28,369
Do you really think
I wanted this?
1277
00:54:28,471 --> 00:54:32,066
Look. Hey. This is us.
1278
00:54:32,175 --> 00:54:33,870
This is not us.
1279
00:54:33,977 --> 00:54:37,174
We have not been us in a
while, because you are not you.
1280
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,009
Danny, you're not happy.
1281
00:54:39,115 --> 00:54:42,243
I've been with you seven years, and
it's been getting progressively worse.
1282
00:54:42,352 --> 00:54:47,221
And it makes me feel bad about
me that I can't make you happier.
1283
00:54:47,323 --> 00:54:51,487
Where am I gonna find a girl who
hates all the same things I do?
1284
00:54:51,594 --> 00:54:52,959
You're so romantic.
1285
00:54:53,062 --> 00:54:54,461
Hey. Hey.
1286
00:54:55,965 --> 00:54:57,592
"You complete me."
1287
00:55:00,303 --> 00:55:02,396
"You had me at 'hello."'
Oh, God. Danny.
1288
00:55:02,505 --> 00:55:03,529
Come on, Beth.
You're not...
1289
00:55:03,639 --> 00:55:04,970
You're not hearing
what I'm saying to you.
1290
00:55:05,074 --> 00:55:08,771
"I am just a girl standing in front
of a boy, telling her to love her."
1291
00:55:08,878 --> 00:55:09,970
You don't even
know that one.
1292
00:55:10,079 --> 00:55:11,273
Hey. Come on.
1293
00:55:11,381 --> 00:55:13,076
"Who you gonna call?"
1294
00:55:14,017 --> 00:55:15,314
"Ghost Busters."
Okay. You know what?
1295
00:55:15,418 --> 00:55:19,548
No. I am committing to this breakup.
This is the best thing for us.
1296
00:55:22,859 --> 00:55:25,657
You can call me if you
need legal advice.
1297
00:55:34,303 --> 00:55:35,292
(SCREAMS)
1298
00:55:35,405 --> 00:55:38,101
Come on! Let's kill
some Cacedonians!
1299
00:55:38,207 --> 00:55:41,540
And I got a little
something-something for you to wear.
1300
00:55:43,846 --> 00:55:45,108
Yeah, I'm not
gonna wear this.
1301
00:55:45,214 --> 00:55:46,340
No?
1302
00:55:47,050 --> 00:55:50,383
Soon enough.
Soon enough you'll want it.
1303
00:55:50,486 --> 00:55:51,475
Yeah.
1304
00:55:52,188 --> 00:55:55,385
Yo, Wheeler. What up, dog? You
scoundrel. What are you doing, man?
1305
00:55:55,491 --> 00:55:57,891
Yo, Hogan's having another
party tonight, man. You gotta go.
1306
00:55:57,994 --> 00:56:00,861
There's gonna be a lot of
sweet-ass pussy there, girl pussy.
1307
00:56:00,963 --> 00:56:03,124
Ooh! Uh...
1308
00:56:04,333 --> 00:56:06,767
Thanks for the offer.
Maybe some other time.
1309
00:56:06,869 --> 00:56:08,962
You're the king, Wheeler.
You're the king.
1310
00:56:09,072 --> 00:56:12,098
Dude, don't give up that
sweet-ass pussy on my account.
1311
00:56:12,208 --> 00:56:13,334
I'll go with you.
1312
00:56:13,443 --> 00:56:14,808
Okay. If you say so.
1313
00:56:14,911 --> 00:56:16,606
All right.
You're my PIC, Wheeler.
1314
00:56:16,712 --> 00:56:18,612
What's a PIC?
Partner in crime.
1315
00:56:18,714 --> 00:56:21,205
You're my PIC. Just don't
cock-block me tonight.
1316
00:56:21,317 --> 00:56:23,080
Wouldn't dream of it.
We'll have a great time.
1317
00:56:23,186 --> 00:56:24,915
We'll go to the party,
we'll get some zah,
1318
00:56:25,021 --> 00:56:25,988
play some Xbox.
1319
00:56:26,089 --> 00:56:27,249
Damn straight.
1320
00:56:27,356 --> 00:56:31,520
KUZZIK: Countrymen, smell
the battle in the air!
1321
00:56:31,627 --> 00:56:33,925
Esplen,
Goddess of Navalore.
1322
00:56:34,030 --> 00:56:37,397
Venus herself would be jealous.
Braman, good to see you.
1323
00:56:37,500 --> 00:56:39,229
Good morrow, sir!
Good morrow to you.
1324
00:56:39,335 --> 00:56:40,393
MAN: Good morning.
1325
00:56:40,503 --> 00:56:43,563
Keep your blades sharp
but your wits sharper.
1326
00:56:43,673 --> 00:56:47,700
Ah! Gleebo, look at you.
A visage.
1327
00:56:47,810 --> 00:56:50,005
Men, get ready to
dance with swords!
1328
00:56:50,113 --> 00:56:51,102
(LAUGHS)
1329
00:56:51,214 --> 00:56:56,413
Alack and allay! What lovely vassal
has Mercury delivered upon us today
1330
00:56:56,519 --> 00:56:59,147
and in such strange
and frightful attire?
1331
00:56:59,255 --> 00:57:00,381
Let us thank the gods
1332
00:57:00,490 --> 00:57:03,755
for sending us such a brave
and valiant warrior to Xanthia.
1333
00:57:03,860 --> 00:57:04,918
All hail Lunesta.
1334
00:57:05,027 --> 00:57:06,324
ALL: Hail, Lunesta!
1335
00:57:06,429 --> 00:57:07,953
How's it going?
Lunesta?
1336
00:57:08,064 --> 00:57:09,827
Isn't that a sleeping pill?
1337
00:57:09,932 --> 00:57:12,992
Yeah. It's 'cause I send my enemies
to their eternal resting place.
1338
00:57:13,102 --> 00:57:15,366
(LAUGHING) "To sleep,
perchance to dream."
1339
00:57:15,471 --> 00:57:18,872
Well, welcome, Lunesta.
We bid you good battle.
1340
00:57:18,975 --> 00:57:21,341
Prepare to have your
worldview rocked.
1341
00:57:21,444 --> 00:57:22,809
Let's do this.
1342
00:57:22,912 --> 00:57:24,379
KUZZIK: Let's do this,
we shall!
1343
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:25,913
(LAUGHING)
1344
00:57:33,656 --> 00:57:36,955
The battle begins!
1345
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:38,127
(SHOUTS)
1346
00:57:38,227 --> 00:57:40,286
(ALL YELLING)
1347
00:57:43,866 --> 00:57:45,800
(GRUNTING)
1348
00:57:53,876 --> 00:57:55,241
MAN 1: Turn and fight, coward!
1349
00:57:55,344 --> 00:57:57,835
MAN 2: You'll never catch me!
1350
00:58:02,752 --> 00:58:04,413
What have you got?
1351
00:58:05,288 --> 00:58:07,552
AUGIE: The Cacedonians have
our kinsmen surrounded.
1352
00:58:07,657 --> 00:58:09,682
Leave them for Davith.
1353
00:58:11,527 --> 00:58:14,325
Prepare for
a Glencracken!
1354
00:58:19,969 --> 00:58:21,766
Comrades!
1355
00:58:21,871 --> 00:58:23,361
Cacedonia!
1356
00:58:27,543 --> 00:58:29,534
The king is
unprotected.
1357
00:58:29,645 --> 00:58:32,136
I shall approach him
from the rear.
1358
00:58:33,916 --> 00:58:35,349
MAN: God save you!
1359
00:58:42,458 --> 00:58:45,222
Oh, fuck me. All right.
You got it. I got you.
1360
00:58:45,328 --> 00:58:46,818
That's...
You look amazing.
1361
00:58:46,929 --> 00:58:47,896
Thanks, man.
1362
00:58:48,231 --> 00:58:49,562
ARGOTRON: You're dead.
1363
00:58:49,665 --> 00:58:50,654
AUGIE: No way.
I killed you.
1364
00:58:50,766 --> 00:58:53,166
ARGOTRON: You didn't kill me.
Now exeunt this battlefield.
1365
00:58:53,269 --> 00:58:54,258
AUGIE: Wait a second.
That's not fair.
1366
00:58:54,370 --> 00:58:55,428
ARGOTRON: Listen,
you little twerp.
1367
00:58:55,538 --> 00:58:58,098
You've been slain by the
mighty king. Now get lost,
1368
00:58:58,207 --> 00:59:00,072
and take some pride
in dying an honorable death.
1369
00:59:00,176 --> 00:59:01,268
AUGIE: No, but I killed you.
1370
00:59:01,377 --> 00:59:03,345
You can't kill me after
I already killed you.
1371
00:59:03,446 --> 00:59:04,538
Davith of Glencracken.
1372
00:59:04,647 --> 00:59:05,807
Yes, my liege.
1373
00:59:05,915 --> 00:59:06,973
Didst he slay me?
1374
00:59:07,083 --> 00:59:08,345
He doth not slay the king.
1375
00:59:08,451 --> 00:59:09,577
You weren't even here
when it happened!
1376
00:59:09,685 --> 00:59:10,879
Was too here.
1377
00:59:10,987 --> 00:59:13,251
Everyone, I'm telling you
the truth. I killed the king!
1378
00:59:13,356 --> 00:59:14,618
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
I...
1379
00:59:15,725 --> 00:59:17,090
Why don't you
believe me? I swear...
1380
00:59:17,193 --> 00:59:18,558
Dost the Xanthian
weep like a maiden?
1381
00:59:18,661 --> 00:59:19,628
(ALL LAUGHING)
1382
00:59:19,729 --> 00:59:21,287
Why are you
laughing at me?
1383
00:59:22,231 --> 00:59:23,255
MAN: What are you doing?
1384
00:59:23,366 --> 00:59:24,526
Danny, I didn't...
1385
00:59:24,634 --> 00:59:26,966
I killed the king.
ARGOTRON: Oh, my God.
1386
00:59:27,069 --> 00:59:28,297
You're lying.
1387
00:59:28,838 --> 00:59:30,430
Are you calling me a liar?
You're a liar.
1388
00:59:30,539 --> 00:59:32,973
Danny, just drop it. Let's just
get out of here. It doesn't matter.
1389
00:59:33,075 --> 00:59:36,238
Are you telling me a kid
could slay the mighty king?
1390
00:59:36,345 --> 00:59:39,644
Not a real king,
but you, yeah.
1391
00:59:39,749 --> 00:59:41,444
You're lying. I can tell.
Danny, stop.
1392
00:59:41,550 --> 00:59:42,847
He killed you.
Give him your hat.
1393
00:59:42,952 --> 00:59:44,044
It's a crown.
1394
00:59:44,153 --> 00:59:45,142
Give him your hat.
Danny.
1395
00:59:45,254 --> 00:59:46,983
It's a crown, dude!
1396
00:59:47,356 --> 00:59:48,721
(PEOPLE EXCLAIM)
1397
00:59:48,824 --> 00:59:49,916
ARGOTRON: Dude!
You're a liar.
1398
00:59:50,026 --> 00:59:51,994
It's a piece of plastic.
1399
00:59:52,795 --> 00:59:53,921
Okay, game over.
1400
00:59:55,264 --> 00:59:57,664
You both are disqualified
from Laire forever.
1401
00:59:57,767 --> 00:59:59,792
What?
Are you kidding me?
1402
01:00:04,006 --> 01:00:05,667
Augie! Augie!
1403
01:00:09,111 --> 01:00:10,373
Augie.
1404
01:00:10,479 --> 01:00:11,639
Leave me alone.
1405
01:00:11,847 --> 01:00:13,439
Look. I'm sorry.
1406
01:00:13,549 --> 01:00:16,313
No, you're not sorry.
You don't care about any of this!
1407
01:00:16,419 --> 01:00:18,216
This is so unfair!
1408
01:00:19,088 --> 01:00:20,578
(SHOUTING)
1409
01:00:22,291 --> 01:00:24,486
Hey, come on, buddy.
I'm not your buddy!
1410
01:00:24,593 --> 01:00:26,322
You're only doing this because
the judge is making you.
1411
01:00:26,429 --> 01:00:28,488
And you know what?
That's fine if you don't give a shit,
1412
01:00:28,597 --> 01:00:30,827
but you don't have to ruin it
for me, because I do give a shit!
1413
01:00:30,933 --> 01:00:32,730
I give lots of shits!
1414
01:00:36,572 --> 01:00:37,732
Look, it's gonna be okay.
1415
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:39,239
No, it's not gonna be okay!
1416
01:00:39,342 --> 01:00:43,403
You're the worst mentor ever! No wonder
your girlfriend left you, you asshole!
1417
01:00:49,985 --> 01:00:51,976
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
1418
01:00:52,421 --> 01:00:54,048
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
1419
01:00:56,058 --> 01:00:57,082
Yo, Wheeler.
What's up, man?
1420
01:00:57,193 --> 01:00:58,626
Hey. What's up?
1421
01:00:58,728 --> 01:01:00,821
Okay, kid. Let's mingle.
1422
01:01:01,564 --> 01:01:02,997
Let's do it.
1423
01:01:05,868 --> 01:01:06,994
Yeah.
1424
01:01:10,239 --> 01:01:12,104
Excuse me, miss.
Yes?
1425
01:01:13,542 --> 01:01:15,942
You're sexy like
a chocolate strawberry.
1426
01:01:16,779 --> 01:01:17,871
Who told you to say that?
1427
01:01:17,980 --> 01:01:19,106
That's Wheeler,
1428
01:01:19,215 --> 01:01:20,512
my PIC.
1429
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,654
Nice.
Come on, baby!
1430
01:01:26,756 --> 01:01:28,383
Pass it.
No.
1431
01:01:28,491 --> 01:01:29,480
No.
No!
1432
01:01:29,592 --> 01:01:30,923
Hey. I'm gonna
rock a squirt,
1433
01:01:31,026 --> 01:01:32,220
so you watch the kid
for a few minutes?
1434
01:01:32,328 --> 01:01:35,024
Sure thing. You're the king,
Wheeler. You're the king.
1435
01:01:36,565 --> 01:01:37,657
Yeah, okay.
1436
01:01:51,046 --> 01:01:52,035
(SIGHS)
1437
01:01:52,148 --> 01:01:53,274
Long line.
1438
01:01:53,382 --> 01:01:55,350
I've seen longer.
1439
01:01:55,451 --> 01:01:57,976
Have we met?
I don't know. Have we?
1440
01:01:59,789 --> 01:02:01,484
Well, what do you do?
1441
01:02:01,590 --> 01:02:04,184
Well, I'm kind of
on hiatus right now,
1442
01:02:04,293 --> 01:02:07,490
but my job is to dress up like a
minotaur and keep kids off drugs.
1443
01:02:07,596 --> 01:02:10,463
Well, that's how I know you.
I teach at Morgan Elementary.
1444
01:02:10,566 --> 01:02:13,399
That's so funny, 'cause I
think elementary school is hot.
1445
01:02:14,884 --> 01:02:15,873
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1446
01:02:18,454 --> 01:02:19,546
Hey.
1447
01:02:20,389 --> 01:02:22,220
What are you doing here?
I wanted to talk to you.
1448
01:02:22,324 --> 01:02:23,848
No, I don't want to
talk to you right now.
1449
01:02:23,959 --> 01:02:25,051
Hey, Danny.
1450
01:02:25,161 --> 01:02:28,255
You decided to come for dinner.
Great. Come on in.
1451
01:02:28,364 --> 01:02:30,764
Thanks.
God damn it!
1452
01:02:32,635 --> 01:02:34,398
What's up his cooz?
1453
01:02:38,941 --> 01:02:40,772
I should take a piss
more often.
1454
01:02:42,778 --> 01:02:44,245
I don't know.
I don't got a raincoat.
1455
01:02:44,447 --> 01:02:46,881
Don't worry.
I'm very pro-choice.
1456
01:02:47,049 --> 01:02:48,346
Okay.
1457
01:02:48,718 --> 01:02:50,481
God, I'm really
kicking your ass.
1458
01:02:50,586 --> 01:02:51,814
That's because
this is soccer.
1459
01:02:51,921 --> 01:02:53,218
Black folks
don't play soccer.
1460
01:02:53,322 --> 01:02:54,880
That guy's black.
Right there.
1461
01:02:57,860 --> 01:03:00,090
You sit down,
young man.
1462
01:03:00,196 --> 01:03:02,721
You have
been a bad boy!
1463
01:03:02,832 --> 01:03:03,992
I've been bad.
1464
01:03:04,100 --> 01:03:05,795
And now you're gonna
have to stay after class.
1465
01:03:05,935 --> 01:03:07,698
Oh, man. Look.
1466
01:03:07,803 --> 01:03:10,670
Even though this is one of my top
four all-time fantasies, I can't, okay?
1467
01:03:10,773 --> 01:03:13,298
I want to, but I gotta
go find my friend.
1468
01:03:14,076 --> 01:03:15,338
Oh, yeah?
1469
01:03:16,212 --> 01:03:17,338
You sure?
1470
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:19,279
Oh, my God.
1471
01:03:20,049 --> 01:03:21,983
Do what you need to do.
1472
01:03:22,084 --> 01:03:24,314
He'll be fine.
He's 10. Come here.
1473
01:03:24,453 --> 01:03:25,420
Let's go.
1474
01:03:27,306 --> 01:03:27,829
Uh-oh!
1475
01:03:27,972 --> 01:03:29,462
This is how it ends.
1476
01:03:29,574 --> 01:03:31,132
Game winner! I win!
1477
01:03:31,242 --> 01:03:32,300
Let's go, Michael.
1478
01:03:32,410 --> 01:03:33,843
Man, forget you, man.
1479
01:03:33,945 --> 01:03:35,537
That's booty, son.
1480
01:03:35,647 --> 01:03:36,875
Let's go. I'm ready.
1481
01:03:38,249 --> 01:03:41,582
They don't call me the king
of this game for nothing!
1482
01:03:45,857 --> 01:03:48,155
Wheeler, where you at?
1483
01:03:53,364 --> 01:03:56,231
Wheeler? Wheeler. Wheeler.
1484
01:03:56,634 --> 01:03:57,623
Wheeler.
1485
01:04:00,271 --> 01:04:02,899
So, Danny, you must be glad
that you're almost done
1486
01:04:03,007 --> 01:04:05,771
with your required
time with Augie.
1487
01:04:06,978 --> 01:04:09,105
How much time
do you have left?
1488
01:04:09,747 --> 01:04:11,647
Eleven, 12 hours or so.
1489
01:04:11,749 --> 01:04:13,512
Jeez, Augie. You're acting
like your goldfish died.
1490
01:04:13,618 --> 01:04:15,586
I don't have a goldfish, Jim.
You know what I mean.
1491
01:04:15,687 --> 01:04:19,384
You're acting like as if you
had a goldfish and it died.
1492
01:04:20,325 --> 01:04:22,919
Augie kind of got
screwed over today.
1493
01:04:23,027 --> 01:04:24,187
I killed the king, Mom.
1494
01:04:24,295 --> 01:04:25,694
Okay.
DANNY: He killed the king.
1495
01:04:25,797 --> 01:04:27,992
All right. All right. Don't
encourage him. He did kill the king.
1496
01:04:28,099 --> 01:04:30,226
But he was lying to everyone and
told everyone that he killed me.
1497
01:04:30,335 --> 01:04:32,360
I don't wanna hear any more
about your Dungeons & Dragons
1498
01:04:32,470 --> 01:04:33,732
or your fruity Cocoa Puffs...
1499
01:04:33,838 --> 01:04:35,305
It's all fairyland
with him.
1500
01:04:35,406 --> 01:04:38,307
We're trying to keep it...
We're trying to keep it real.
1501
01:04:38,409 --> 01:04:40,639
The Goddess of Navalore
saw me cry, Mom.
1502
01:04:40,745 --> 01:04:43,179
Hey, Augie, when I was a
little kid, I accidentally
1503
01:04:43,281 --> 01:04:45,306
crapped my pants
in front of a girl I liked,
1504
01:04:45,416 --> 01:04:47,611
so I feel your pain.
1505
01:04:47,719 --> 01:04:50,984
Well, he likes girls. That's a
good thing. That's a surprise to me.
1506
01:04:51,089 --> 01:04:52,954
Doesn't matter anyway.
He got me kicked out.
1507
01:04:53,057 --> 01:04:54,718
LYNETTE: What?
JIM: What? You're kidding me.
1508
01:04:54,826 --> 01:04:55,815
They can kick you out?
1509
01:04:55,927 --> 01:04:57,417
Yeah, I'm banned.
This is a great thing.
1510
01:04:57,529 --> 01:04:58,860
Way to go, big guy.
Does this mean
1511
01:04:58,963 --> 01:05:00,055
we can finally get rid
of those boots
1512
01:05:00,165 --> 01:05:04,261
and that God-awful cape that you made
out of my tablecloth? I'm so sick of this.
1513
01:05:04,369 --> 01:05:05,427
I'll burn them up in a...
1514
01:05:05,537 --> 01:05:07,505
We'll have a bonfire.
We'll make a thing of it.
1515
01:05:07,605 --> 01:05:09,698
Don't you want him to wear
what makes him happy?
1516
01:05:11,176 --> 01:05:12,143
Yes. Yes, I do.
Yes.
1517
01:05:12,243 --> 01:05:14,734
You know when I want him to
wear what makes him happy?
1518
01:05:14,846 --> 01:05:18,373
On October 31st.
Halloween, go nuts.
1519
01:05:18,483 --> 01:05:19,745
Wear lipstick.
I don't care.
1520
01:05:19,851 --> 01:05:21,011
Yeah. Yeah.
1521
01:05:21,119 --> 01:05:22,916
You know, dress like a nun.
Sure.
1522
01:05:23,021 --> 01:05:24,318
We're gonna have
a celebration
1523
01:05:24,422 --> 01:05:27,448
to celebrate you joining
the rest of the world.
1524
01:05:27,559 --> 01:05:29,550
JIM: Becoming a normal kid.
He is a normal kid.
1525
01:05:29,661 --> 01:05:31,288
You think he's normal?
DANNY: Yeah, I think he's normal.
1526
01:05:31,396 --> 01:05:32,920
You think he's normal.
He's normal.
1527
01:05:33,031 --> 01:05:34,020
When I was his age,
1528
01:05:34,132 --> 01:05:37,226
I had four, five girlfriends at
one time. Didn't I tell you that?
1529
01:05:37,335 --> 01:05:38,996
LYNETTE: He was fucking
his cousin.
1530
01:05:39,103 --> 01:05:40,661
I wasn't fucking
my cousin. I...
1531
01:05:40,772 --> 01:05:43,070
We kissed, because I didn't
know she was my cousin,
1532
01:05:43,174 --> 01:05:46,701
but when I found out, I stopped
kissing her, but I fucked her friends.
1533
01:05:46,811 --> 01:05:48,745
I fucked my
cousin's friends.
1534
01:05:48,846 --> 01:05:52,111
I think that Augie is just having
kind of a tough time in life,
1535
01:05:52,217 --> 01:05:53,878
which sounds pretty normal
to me. Life is tough.
1536
01:05:53,985 --> 01:05:55,782
It is tough. But you know
what? This is my point.
1537
01:05:55,887 --> 01:05:58,754
It's tougher when you...
With parents like you?
1538
01:05:58,856 --> 01:06:01,381
Excuse me?
What did you just say?
1539
01:06:01,492 --> 01:06:04,825
I said it is tough, but I think
it's tougher with parents like you.
1540
01:06:04,929 --> 01:06:06,157
I thought that's
what you just said.
1541
01:06:06,264 --> 01:06:07,424
DANNY: I don't know
how you do it, kid.
1542
01:06:07,532 --> 01:06:10,524
I mean, I thought my life sucked.
Jesus Christ, I really feel for you.
1543
01:06:10,635 --> 01:06:11,659
Okay. That's enough.
1544
01:06:11,769 --> 01:06:13,066
Don't listen to
them, all right?
1545
01:06:13,171 --> 01:06:15,143
Do what makes you happy.
You want to wear a cape?
1546
01:06:15,144 --> 01:06:15,537
Wear a cape.
1547
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:17,335
You want to wear a suit of armor?
Who gives a shit?
1548
01:06:17,442 --> 01:06:19,842
You know what? I would never
have invited you over for moussaka
1549
01:06:19,944 --> 01:06:23,380
if I'd known you were gonna
be such a prick. Excuse me.
1550
01:06:23,481 --> 01:06:24,778
DANNY: Augie, screw them.
1551
01:06:24,882 --> 01:06:25,906
Do what makes you happy.
Hey. Whoa!
1552
01:06:26,017 --> 01:06:28,164
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Do what makes you happy.
1553
01:06:28,165 --> 01:06:28,713
Hey, buddy...
1554
01:06:28,820 --> 01:06:30,048
I'd like you to
leave now, please.
1555
01:06:30,154 --> 01:06:31,416
I figure you're probably
1556
01:06:31,522 --> 01:06:33,285
not gonna sign my
hours sheet now.
1557
01:06:33,391 --> 01:06:34,380
Go fuck yourself.
1558
01:06:34,492 --> 01:06:37,188
That's what I thought.
Hey, Augie, I'm sorry.
1559
01:06:37,295 --> 01:06:38,922
JIM: Get the hell out.
1560
01:06:40,465 --> 01:06:43,059
I'd be psyched if he was my kid.
Please.
1561
01:06:46,070 --> 01:06:47,196
And you know what,
sweetheart?
1562
01:06:47,305 --> 01:06:49,569
It's not that we're not
psyched that you're our kid.
1563
01:06:49,674 --> 01:06:52,643
We're psyched. I'm so
psyched, I can't stand it.
1564
01:06:52,744 --> 01:06:54,735
Your mom's psyched
that you're her kid.
1565
01:06:54,846 --> 01:06:57,041
May I please
be excused, Mom?
1566
01:07:07,025 --> 01:07:08,185
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
1567
01:07:08,293 --> 01:07:09,260
(EXCLAIMING)
1568
01:07:09,460 --> 01:07:11,519
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
1569
01:07:11,629 --> 01:07:13,096
Hey. Where's Ronnie?
1570
01:07:13,197 --> 01:07:14,630
Who's Ronnie, dude?
1571
01:07:14,732 --> 01:07:17,166
Oh, shit. Ronnie!
1572
01:07:17,735 --> 01:07:18,963
Ronnie.
1573
01:07:20,672 --> 01:07:22,731
What's up, man?
Hey. How you doing?
1574
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:24,364
Ro-Ro.
1575
01:07:25,410 --> 01:07:27,469
Anybody see the
little kid I was with?
1576
01:07:29,714 --> 01:07:31,477
(ON PHONE) This is Karen,
Ronnie's mother.
1577
01:07:31,582 --> 01:07:34,050
Ronnie was supposed to be
home a few hours ago.
1578
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:36,309
This is Karen again.
1579
01:07:36,421 --> 01:07:40,050
Can you guys please call me
and let me know where you are?
1580
01:07:40,625 --> 01:07:44,823
Ronnie just got in. He walked all the way home.
What the hell...
1581
01:07:44,996 --> 01:07:46,093
You're out.
Look...
1582
01:07:46,197 --> 01:07:48,825
No, no, no, no. It's over.
You blew it. It's done. Okay?
1583
01:07:48,933 --> 01:07:51,731
I hear what you're saying.
We're very sorry, but we're 11 hours short.
1584
01:07:51,969 --> 01:07:54,631
And you're gonna stay 11 hours
short, okay? I don't know.
1585
01:07:54,739 --> 01:07:57,469
Parents don't want you hanging around
with their kids for some reason.
1586
01:07:57,575 --> 01:08:00,601
So you BSed a BSer.
1587
01:08:00,712 --> 01:08:04,546
Good for you! I hope you feel
good about yourself, God damn it!
1588
01:08:06,117 --> 01:08:09,109
You know, I could be
back in New York
1589
01:08:09,220 --> 01:08:12,280
doing cocaine in the
Village, but I'm not.
1590
01:08:13,458 --> 01:08:16,188
You know why?
Kids come first.
1591
01:08:17,462 --> 01:08:18,952
They don't come
first for you, do they?
1592
01:08:19,063 --> 01:08:21,554
They come second
to your selfishness.
1593
01:08:22,367 --> 01:08:24,699
So why don't you
two guys go home,
1594
01:08:24,802 --> 01:08:27,168
put down some lines
of selfishness,
1595
01:08:27,271 --> 01:08:29,034
which is your blow,
1596
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:32,939
close the shades, take
the phone off the hook,
1597
01:08:33,044 --> 01:08:35,512
grab a straw and snort?
1598
01:08:35,613 --> 01:08:38,741
And don't expect me
to testify on your behalf.
1599
01:08:39,417 --> 01:08:41,817
You're not Sturdy Wings
material.
1600
01:08:42,653 --> 01:08:44,450
(PHONE BEEPING)
1601
01:08:49,660 --> 01:08:51,491
I think you guys are gonna
have to go to jail.
1602
01:08:51,596 --> 01:08:52,824
The only thing we can do now
1603
01:08:52,930 --> 01:08:56,229
is make a case at the hearing
that you did your best.
1604
01:08:56,334 --> 01:08:58,359
It's gonna take some serious
lawyering on my part.
1605
01:08:58,503 --> 01:09:01,495
Yeah. Beth, please.
Lawyer the shit out of it.
1606
01:09:01,606 --> 01:09:04,040
I just can't promise
anything.
1607
01:09:04,142 --> 01:09:05,734
Yes, Wheeler?
Question.
1608
01:09:05,843 --> 01:09:08,277
Maybe a stupid one, but
I'm just spit-balling here.
1609
01:09:08,379 --> 01:09:10,643
The Get Out of Jail Free
card,
1610
01:09:10,748 --> 01:09:13,478
is that based on
something that exists or...
1611
01:09:13,584 --> 01:09:15,984
That wasn't
a stupid question.
1612
01:09:16,087 --> 01:09:17,111
That's real.
1613
01:09:17,221 --> 01:09:18,483
It's real in the
game of Monopoly.
1614
01:09:18,589 --> 01:09:20,955
Yeah, it's based
on true events.
1615
01:09:21,492 --> 01:09:22,857
How... What do you mean?
1616
01:09:22,960 --> 01:09:24,018
Chance.
1617
01:09:25,763 --> 01:09:26,889
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
1618
01:09:32,737 --> 01:09:33,863
I can't believe
we're going to jail.
1619
01:09:33,971 --> 01:09:34,960
Believe it.
1620
01:09:35,072 --> 01:09:36,835
Hey, maybe you'll
roll doubles. You know?
1621
01:09:36,941 --> 01:09:38,169
If not, you just
miss three turns.
1622
01:09:38,276 --> 01:09:39,368
Game face, bro.
1623
01:09:39,477 --> 01:09:41,138
I told you.
Game face.
1624
01:09:41,245 --> 01:09:42,906
Enough with the
game face, all right?
1625
01:09:43,014 --> 01:09:44,447
This isn't beach volleyball.
1626
01:09:44,549 --> 01:09:47,814
Is it not? Because,
if you think about it,
1627
01:09:47,919 --> 01:09:51,116
the net is like your goals
in life, and you are the ball.
1628
01:09:51,222 --> 01:09:53,747
And you can spike the ball
down, or you, over the net.
1629
01:09:53,858 --> 01:09:56,383
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Then you go into sidelines.
1630
01:09:56,494 --> 01:09:57,483
It's bad enough
I'm going to jail.
1631
01:09:57,595 --> 01:09:59,460
I can't take it anymore
with you yapping away.
1632
01:09:59,564 --> 01:10:00,553
Yap, yap, yip, yip.
1633
01:10:00,665 --> 01:10:02,428
"Bang your drum, bro."
Maybe I should be like you.
1634
01:10:02,533 --> 01:10:05,024
"I hate myself, yet I'm
better than everyone."
1635
01:10:05,136 --> 01:10:07,036
You're one to talk.
You took a 10-year-old to a party
1636
01:10:07,138 --> 01:10:09,003
and left him so you
could go get a blow job.
1637
01:10:09,106 --> 01:10:10,198
Hey.
1638
01:10:10,308 --> 01:10:11,798
It wasn't a blow job.
We fucked.
1639
01:10:11,909 --> 01:10:13,900
Please! Watch
your language!
1640
01:10:14,011 --> 01:10:15,535
Sorry.
Sorry.
1641
01:10:16,881 --> 01:10:18,849
You are an
S-H-I-T-T-Y friend.
1642
01:10:18,950 --> 01:10:20,542
He can spell.
1643
01:10:22,220 --> 01:10:23,983
I'm not your friend.
1644
01:10:24,622 --> 01:10:25,589
Oh.
1645
01:10:25,857 --> 01:10:27,324
You wanna go?
1646
01:10:27,492 --> 01:10:28,754
(WOMAN SHRIEKING)
1647
01:10:29,126 --> 01:10:30,218
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1648
01:10:30,328 --> 01:10:31,352
Stop it!
1649
01:10:32,497 --> 01:10:33,464
(GROANS)
1650
01:10:36,934 --> 01:10:39,869
There you go, Danny.
Now you got no friends.
1651
01:10:42,874 --> 01:10:44,034
Sorry.
1652
01:10:45,243 --> 01:10:47,074
(PHONE RINGING)
1653
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:51,480
Hello?
Hey, Ro-Ro. It's Wheeler.
1654
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:57,818
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
1655
01:11:39,530 --> 01:11:41,191
So you guys have to
be at the courthouse
1656
01:11:41,299 --> 01:11:43,062
no later than
3:00 p.m., okay?
1657
01:11:43,167 --> 01:11:44,156
All right.
1658
01:11:44,268 --> 01:11:46,429
Please, do not be late.
No. I know.
1659
01:11:46,537 --> 01:11:48,164
No, I'll be there.
1660
01:12:38,022 --> 01:12:40,547
You don't always have to get
breakfast this time of day.
1661
01:12:42,460 --> 01:12:43,620
Hiya, King.
1662
01:12:43,728 --> 01:12:45,218
No, no, no. I don't
mean to cause trouble.
1663
01:12:45,329 --> 01:12:47,695
I just wanted to come
by and apologize
1664
01:12:47,798 --> 01:12:49,891
for the way that
I behaved last time.
1665
01:12:50,001 --> 01:12:55,064
I... I lost my temper when I saw
you last, and that was regrettable.
1666
01:12:55,172 --> 01:12:57,572
Not to mention highly
illegal, you jackanape.
1667
01:12:57,675 --> 01:12:58,664
(SCOFFS)
1668
01:12:58,776 --> 01:13:01,370
I know. It's just that my...
Denver omelet?
1669
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:03,504
Right here. Thank you.
1670
01:13:04,749 --> 01:13:06,649
It's just my friend
was upset, you see,
1671
01:13:06,751 --> 01:13:08,981
and he thought
he'd stabbed you.
1672
01:13:09,086 --> 01:13:11,247
He hadn't.
Of course he hadn't.
1673
01:13:12,023 --> 01:13:13,047
Go on.
1674
01:13:13,157 --> 01:13:14,249
It's just that...
1675
01:13:15,593 --> 01:13:19,495
I accidentally cast an
unbreakable madness spell on him.
1676
01:13:21,032 --> 01:13:23,000
Well, that was stupid.
DANNY: I know, right?
1677
01:13:23,100 --> 01:13:24,362
I didn't mean to.
1678
01:13:24,468 --> 01:13:25,628
You guys are reckless
out there.
1679
01:13:25,736 --> 01:13:29,228
Yeah. Unsafe. Okay, I had a
protection spell on me. All right?
1680
01:13:29,340 --> 01:13:32,104
But it had faded off when you
touched me, so don't flatter yourself
1681
01:13:32,209 --> 01:13:33,699
thinking you can come
back at me, okay,
1682
01:13:33,811 --> 01:13:36,575
'cause I would love to see
you penetrate me again.
1683
01:13:36,681 --> 01:13:38,308
Anyway, I was
just wondering
1684
01:13:38,416 --> 01:13:40,680
if maybe you could
see it in your heart
1685
01:13:40,785 --> 01:13:44,050
to let him fight today
on the battlefield.
1686
01:13:44,155 --> 01:13:46,749
He loves Laire
more than anything.
1687
01:13:46,857 --> 01:13:50,088
He's just a kid, but he's
got the heart of a lion...
1688
01:13:50,861 --> 01:13:51,828
Hmm.
1689
01:13:53,197 --> 01:13:54,755
...and the eye of the tiger.
1690
01:13:54,865 --> 01:13:55,854
Hmm.
1691
01:13:55,966 --> 01:13:57,194
More coffee?
1692
01:13:57,301 --> 01:13:58,461
No, I'm decaf.
1693
01:13:58,569 --> 01:13:59,695
Okay.
1694
01:13:59,804 --> 01:14:01,203
If he be so brave,
1695
01:14:01,305 --> 01:14:04,297
why doth he not show
his face here today?
1696
01:14:04,408 --> 01:14:06,342
Do you fight
all his battles?
1697
01:14:06,444 --> 01:14:07,411
Hmm.
1698
01:14:09,580 --> 01:14:11,514
He knows not I'm here.
1699
01:14:11,649 --> 01:14:12,638
Hmm.
1700
01:14:12,750 --> 01:14:16,345
He hath too
much pride.
1701
01:14:16,954 --> 01:14:17,921
Hmm.
1702
01:14:21,158 --> 01:14:24,355
(WHISPERING) Magic healing
potion. Wizards...
1703
01:14:25,429 --> 01:14:27,056
How's it going?
1704
01:14:29,867 --> 01:14:31,562
Tell your kinsman
1705
01:14:34,371 --> 01:14:36,965
we shall see him
on the battlefield today.
1706
01:14:37,074 --> 01:14:39,440
Thank you.
Thank you, noble king.
1707
01:14:42,513 --> 01:14:43,537
Really?
1708
01:14:43,647 --> 01:14:44,614
Mmm-hmm.
1709
01:14:45,249 --> 01:14:47,046
ARGOTRON: You know
you want it.
1710
01:14:51,589 --> 01:14:53,819
Now exit my
Burger Hole, boy.
1711
01:14:55,126 --> 01:14:58,527
Make it known to the Xanthians that
if they let Augie fight with them,
1712
01:14:58,629 --> 01:15:01,996
we'll destroy each and every
one of them, without mercy,
1713
01:15:02,099 --> 01:15:04,567
before the first
apple-cider break.
1714
01:15:14,578 --> 01:15:16,910
Hey, what's up, my PIC?
1715
01:15:23,521 --> 01:15:26,115
Ronnie. Ronnie.
1716
01:15:28,692 --> 01:15:30,887
to listen to me
1717
01:15:30,995 --> 01:15:35,261
and listen good.
I am a very animalistic woman,
1718
01:15:35,366 --> 01:15:37,459
a very animalistic woman,
1719
01:15:37,568 --> 01:15:41,971
and when it comes to my son,
I am a lioness,
1720
01:15:42,072 --> 01:15:43,437
a black Sheba.
1721
01:15:43,541 --> 01:15:45,099
Black Sheba.
Yeah, but listen...
1722
01:15:45,209 --> 01:15:46,301
I am a lioness,
1723
01:15:46,410 --> 01:15:49,174
and that boy is my cub,
1724
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:53,239
and if you let anything bad
happen to my cub,
1725
01:15:53,350 --> 01:15:57,650
I will claw your ass up
until you shit sideways.
1726
01:15:57,755 --> 01:15:59,780
Do you understand?
Yes.
1727
01:15:59,890 --> 01:16:02,518
You'll tear me up so bad that when
I shit, it'll come out sideways.
1728
01:16:02,626 --> 01:16:04,389
I understand.
Okay.
1729
01:16:05,930 --> 01:16:06,897
(EXHALES)
1730
01:16:07,164 --> 01:16:08,791
It's just, Ronnie looks
up to you. Okay?
1731
01:16:08,899 --> 01:16:11,299
He doesn't need another
man leaving him behind.
1732
01:16:11,402 --> 01:16:13,666
I know. I know.
I fucked up, okay?
1733
01:16:13,771 --> 01:16:15,739
I... The kid acts
so tough,
1734
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:17,603
I didn't know I could
hurt him, you know?
1735
01:16:17,708 --> 01:16:19,676
I'm determined to make
it up to him. All right?
1736
01:16:19,777 --> 01:16:23,645
What I'm trying to say is that
when I get out of prison,
1737
01:16:23,747 --> 01:16:26,079
could I hang out with
your 10-year-old son?
1738
01:16:26,183 --> 01:16:29,118
Well, you're gonna have
to ask him yourself.
1739
01:16:31,455 --> 01:16:33,184
Hey. Ronnie.
1740
01:16:34,091 --> 01:16:35,058
Um...
1741
01:16:36,093 --> 01:16:38,254
Look. I'm sorry, okay?
1742
01:16:39,363 --> 01:16:41,263
I know I don't deserve it,
1743
01:16:41,365 --> 01:16:44,857
but Sturdy Wings or no Sturdy
Wings, I want to be your Big.
1744
01:16:47,838 --> 01:16:52,275
Okay. I'm your Little, and
you're my Big. I like that.
1745
01:16:55,292 --> 01:16:59,589
Can I tell you how deeply, deeply I
regret this situation with this latest Big?
1746
01:16:59,697 --> 01:17:03,258
It's completely unacceptable,
and at Sturdy Wings,
1747
01:17:03,367 --> 01:17:04,698
it's not how we roll.
1748
01:17:04,802 --> 01:17:08,499
So I'm going to guarantee
you that Mr. Gary
1749
01:17:09,340 --> 01:17:13,367
is our most experienced
and dependable volunteer.
1750
01:17:13,477 --> 01:17:15,035
MARTIN: Let me
put it this way.
1751
01:17:15,145 --> 01:17:17,636
If I had a nickel for every year
that I've been with Sturdy Wings,
1752
01:17:17,748 --> 01:17:20,717
I would have enough
money to
1753
01:17:20,818 --> 01:17:22,285
play a game of Pac-Man.
1754
01:17:23,287 --> 01:17:24,379
Been five years.
1755
01:17:24,488 --> 01:17:26,854
And if I stay with Sturdy
Wings for another five years,
1756
01:17:26,957 --> 01:17:29,357
then I'll have enough
for another round.
1757
01:17:29,460 --> 01:17:30,927
SWEENY: Another round of Pac-Man.
MARTIN: Right.
1758
01:17:31,028 --> 01:17:33,792
Five cents for every year,
times five...
1759
01:17:33,898 --> 01:17:34,922
That's 25.
We get it.
1760
01:17:35,032 --> 01:17:36,431
SWEENY: That's 25 cents.
MARTIN: That's a quarter.
1761
01:17:36,534 --> 01:17:38,764
SWEENY: But the Pac-Man here,
I think it's 50 cents.
1762
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:44,801
What are you doing here?
I'm breaking you out.
1763
01:17:44,942 --> 01:17:47,308
There's a nation at war.
Are you in?
1764
01:17:47,411 --> 01:17:48,810
Aye.
1765
01:17:48,913 --> 01:17:51,211
Aye... I am, too.
Come on.
1766
01:17:51,315 --> 01:17:53,749
BETH: Wheeler hasn't called me back.
Are you guys gonna make it or what?
1767
01:17:53,851 --> 01:17:56,513
I don't know, Beth. I mean, I can't
speak for Wheeler, but I'll be there.
1768
01:17:56,620 --> 01:17:58,781
You gotta promise me.
Yeah, I promise. I just...
1769
01:17:58,889 --> 01:18:00,823
I'm helping Augie with something,
and then I'm on my way, okay?
1770
01:18:00,925 --> 01:18:03,450
County courthouse, 3:00.
All right.
1771
01:18:04,862 --> 01:18:07,524
Man, I'm gonna kick
some Cacedonian ass.
1772
01:18:07,631 --> 01:18:09,098
Yeah, totally.
1773
01:18:09,300 --> 01:18:10,267
(PHONE RINGS)
1774
01:18:10,501 --> 01:18:11,695
It's Artonius.
1775
01:18:11,802 --> 01:18:13,269
Bid him good morrow.
1776
01:18:13,370 --> 01:18:15,133
Greetings, Artonius.
1777
01:18:15,239 --> 01:18:16,763
Get ready for some pain.
1778
01:18:17,241 --> 01:18:20,005
What? What? Wait. No, no, no.
No, you can't do that.
1779
01:18:20,110 --> 01:18:21,941
ARTONIUS: You're out of Xanthia.
What are you talking about?
1780
01:18:22,046 --> 01:18:23,445
Sorry, Blufgan.
1781
01:18:23,547 --> 01:18:24,844
Forget it, Danny.
1782
01:18:25,916 --> 01:18:27,543
They said I'm too
much of a liability.
1783
01:18:27,651 --> 01:18:30,176
They're kicking me
out of Xanthia.
1784
01:18:30,287 --> 01:18:32,221
What? Are you serious?
1785
01:18:33,557 --> 01:18:35,184
Screw them. We'll
start our own country.
1786
01:18:35,292 --> 01:18:36,350
We can't.
1787
01:18:36,460 --> 01:18:39,725
All my costumes have the same
colors and same symbols as Xanthia.
1788
01:18:39,830 --> 01:18:42,196
And besides, you can't start
a country with two people.
1789
01:18:42,299 --> 01:18:44,859
No? What's the minimum?
1790
01:18:45,069 --> 01:18:47,367
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1791
01:18:49,039 --> 01:18:50,267
KAREN: Where you going?
1792
01:18:50,741 --> 01:18:52,003
You can't go anywhere.
Come on.
1793
01:18:53,210 --> 01:18:54,677
What do you want,
asshole?
1794
01:18:54,778 --> 01:18:56,973
Actually, we
need your help.
1795
01:19:26,210 --> 01:19:27,939
(BEAST ROARS)
1796
01:19:28,879 --> 01:19:31,439
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1797
01:19:38,322 --> 01:19:40,756
I can't believe
my eyes.
1798
01:19:40,958 --> 01:19:42,949
A minotaur!
1799
01:20:05,516 --> 01:20:06,847
Augie?
1800
01:20:07,484 --> 01:20:08,746
Where are you?
1801
01:20:13,924 --> 01:20:15,255
RULE MASTER: Hear he, hear he.
1802
01:20:16,093 --> 01:20:19,460
This is a battle to the
last man standing,
1803
01:20:19,830 --> 01:20:22,594
and the victor
shall rule the realm.
1804
01:20:22,700 --> 01:20:26,466
There'll be no magical
rejuvenation powder today.
1805
01:20:26,570 --> 01:20:29,596
Instead, if you are killed,
you are done!
1806
01:20:30,274 --> 01:20:33,835
Fight well, and may
the best country win!
1807
01:20:33,944 --> 01:20:35,844
(ALL CHEERING)
1808
01:20:37,047 --> 01:20:39,447
Stay close, like
cotton on a lamb.
1809
01:20:41,852 --> 01:20:45,049
Brothers and sisters of the
new nation of Kiss-My-Anthia,
1810
01:20:45,155 --> 01:20:49,717
I stand here before you not as
the Augie Farks you once knew.
1811
01:20:49,827 --> 01:20:52,819
Today I stand before
you a warrior!
1812
01:20:53,430 --> 01:20:54,761
For time eternal,
1813
01:20:54,865 --> 01:20:57,800
I have let the naysayers
of this world bring me down.
1814
01:20:57,901 --> 01:21:00,768
They used to say,
"You shouldn't fight.
1815
01:21:00,871 --> 01:21:03,305
"You should be
embarrassed of yourself.
1816
01:21:03,407 --> 01:21:05,807
"You look like a young
Marvin Hamlisch."
1817
01:21:05,909 --> 01:21:08,275
Well, you know what
I say to those naysayers?
1818
01:21:08,378 --> 01:21:11,279
I say nay! I will fight!
1819
01:21:11,381 --> 01:21:13,008
I will not be embarrassed!
1820
01:21:13,117 --> 01:21:15,312
Who the fuck
is Marvin Hamlisch?
1821
01:21:15,419 --> 01:21:16,647
He wrote the music
to The Sting.
1822
01:21:16,754 --> 01:21:17,948
That's a good movie.
1823
01:21:18,055 --> 01:21:19,682
But I don't care,
1824
01:21:20,157 --> 01:21:22,955
'cause in this moment,
doing what I love,
1825
01:21:23,060 --> 01:21:24,960
I know I have already won.
1826
01:21:25,062 --> 01:21:28,691
An honorable, albeit court-appointed,
friend once said to me,
1827
01:21:28,799 --> 01:21:30,494
"Do what makes you happy."
1828
01:21:30,601 --> 01:21:34,970
And nothing would make me happier
than to fight alongside you brave men.
1829
01:21:35,906 --> 01:21:37,897
When the elders
speak of this day,
1830
01:21:38,008 --> 01:21:40,442
they will speak of the courage
of Kiss-My-Anthia.
1831
01:21:40,544 --> 01:21:42,136
Of the Spaceman.
1832
01:21:43,781 --> 01:21:45,146
The Demon.
1833
01:21:46,784 --> 01:21:48,274
The Starchild.
1834
01:21:49,653 --> 01:21:51,416
And me, the Cat!
1835
01:21:51,522 --> 01:21:54,389
So let us raise
our swords in victory,
1836
01:21:54,491 --> 01:21:56,391
crank this shit up to 11,
1837
01:21:56,493 --> 01:21:58,688
and let's rip this
realm a new asshole!
1838
01:21:58,796 --> 01:21:59,785
ALL: Yeah!
1839
01:21:59,897 --> 01:22:02,195
Yeah! What the fuck
are we talking about?
1840
01:22:02,299 --> 01:22:06,395
May Xanthia and
Kiss-My-Anthia be allies.
1841
01:22:06,503 --> 01:22:11,133
King Argotron be damned.
We fight with you.
1842
01:22:11,241 --> 01:22:13,334
Thank you, friends.
Your honor is great.
1843
01:22:13,443 --> 01:22:16,935
Come. Let us gingerly
touch our tips.
1844
01:22:18,348 --> 01:22:20,617
Game on!
1845
01:22:21,785 --> 01:22:23,616
(BLOWS HORN)
1846
01:22:26,723 --> 01:22:28,782
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
1847
01:22:36,633 --> 01:22:37,861
Yeah!
1848
01:22:46,777 --> 01:22:49,644
Once we pass this point,
there's no turning back.
1849
01:22:49,746 --> 01:22:51,338
It's a fight
to the death!
1850
01:22:51,448 --> 01:22:53,348
About time!
Let's rip this shit up!
1851
01:22:53,450 --> 01:22:55,077
Yeah!
Yeah!
1852
01:22:57,654 --> 01:23:00,214
Yeah. Oh, snap! No!
1853
01:23:00,324 --> 01:23:01,916
Come on. No!
1854
01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:05,651
Augie, what the hell?
Your boys just killed me!
1855
01:23:05,762 --> 01:23:09,391
Retreat! Go! Like the leopard!
Like the leopard!
1856
01:23:11,368 --> 01:23:13,029
Oh, Saint Venise!
1857
01:23:15,239 --> 01:23:16,399
(GASPING)
1858
01:23:16,506 --> 01:23:18,201
Et tu, you two?
1859
01:23:19,409 --> 01:23:20,808
What the hell's going on?
1860
01:23:20,911 --> 01:23:23,505
They killed you, so you have to
die an honorable and noble death.
1861
01:23:23,614 --> 01:23:25,548
Okay. I think I can do that.
1862
01:23:25,849 --> 01:23:27,612
(GRUNTING)
1863
01:23:35,025 --> 01:23:36,617
Not bad.
Blufgan.
1864
01:23:36,727 --> 01:23:38,251
Kuzzik.
1865
01:23:38,362 --> 01:23:40,057
Fulfill your
destiny, Blufgan.
1866
01:23:40,163 --> 01:23:41,289
Yes.
Kill the king.
1867
01:23:41,398 --> 01:23:42,592
I will.
Kill the king.
1868
01:23:42,699 --> 01:23:43,825
I will, Kuzzik!
1869
01:23:43,934 --> 01:23:45,265
Go. Go.
1870
01:23:45,836 --> 01:23:47,701
Go. Go.
1871
01:23:52,075 --> 01:23:53,406
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
1872
01:23:53,510 --> 01:23:56,035
MAN: Take that, you
lily-livered coward!
1873
01:23:57,681 --> 01:23:59,581
Hey.
Hey. Where the hell are you guys?
1874
01:23:59,683 --> 01:24:01,173
I cannot stall any longer.
1875
01:24:01,285 --> 01:24:03,583
I'm at Jefferson Park.
Look. I can't talk right now.
1876
01:24:03,687 --> 01:24:06,451
I'm in the middle of
battling a Cacedonian.
1877
01:24:06,556 --> 01:24:08,421
Beth, I gotta help Augie.
I gotta go.
1878
01:24:08,525 --> 01:24:10,220
Fucking Cacedonian ass.
1879
01:24:10,327 --> 01:24:13,262
What? Hello. What?
1880
01:24:13,864 --> 01:24:15,855
(ALL CLAMORING)
1881
01:24:19,536 --> 01:24:20,764
Bitch!
1882
01:24:20,871 --> 01:24:22,736
Retreat to the castle!
1883
01:24:26,543 --> 01:24:28,807
Long live Xanthia!
1884
01:24:29,646 --> 01:24:31,546
(GRUNTING)
1885
01:24:42,192 --> 01:24:44,092
You lost an arm, honey!
1886
01:24:46,763 --> 01:24:48,321
Nice one, dude.
1887
01:24:48,999 --> 01:24:51,024
Hey, Esplen.
Thanks.
1888
01:24:56,106 --> 01:24:58,574
Okay. See you.
See you.
1889
01:25:01,244 --> 01:25:02,905
MAN 1: Die, coward!
1890
01:25:03,013 --> 01:25:04,878
MAN 2: Cacedonia
is to rule forever!
1891
01:25:06,783 --> 01:25:08,614
What a scene.
1892
01:25:21,832 --> 01:25:24,562
Okay. We lost a man,
but we can still do this.
1893
01:25:24,668 --> 01:25:27,193
It's not the manpower.
It's the power of the man.
1894
01:25:27,337 --> 01:25:28,929
Shit, this kid really
jacks you up.
1895
01:25:29,039 --> 01:25:30,768
I want you to go left
through these trees.
1896
01:25:30,874 --> 01:25:32,000
His lackeys
are pretty strong,
1897
01:25:32,109 --> 01:25:34,339
but Davith of Glencracken
is the one you want.
1898
01:25:34,444 --> 01:25:36,605
He's the one built
like a brick shithouse.
1899
01:25:38,482 --> 01:25:39,779
Leave it to us, Augie.
1900
01:25:39,883 --> 01:25:41,680
Good luck, mi amigos!
1901
01:25:43,353 --> 01:25:47,312
Thanks for doing this.
- I'm doing it for the kids, not for you.
1902
01:25:59,636 --> 01:26:00,864
Come on.
1903
01:26:08,178 --> 01:26:10,476
Feel the steel
of my hammer!
1904
01:26:17,821 --> 01:26:20,255
Hey, hey! Okay! Okay!
I'm dead! I'm dead!
1905
01:26:20,357 --> 01:26:22,484
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
It's fun though, right?
1906
01:26:22,592 --> 01:26:24,423
It's a blast.
It's contagious. I know.
1907
01:26:24,528 --> 01:26:26,120
Totally.
Come back next year.
1908
01:26:26,229 --> 01:26:27,355
I will. Thanks. Okay.
1909
01:26:27,464 --> 01:26:28,829
We need people.
Give me your e-mail.
1910
01:26:29,132 --> 01:26:30,099
(GASPS)
1911
01:26:37,407 --> 01:26:39,875
Dude, you saved my life.
1912
01:26:39,976 --> 01:26:42,410
I did what any good
coworker would do.
1913
01:26:42,512 --> 01:26:45,640
I honestly can't say
I would do the same for you.
1914
01:26:45,749 --> 01:26:48,809
You would, Danny,
because you're my friend.
1915
01:26:49,619 --> 01:26:51,644
I want to hear you say it.
1916
01:26:52,556 --> 01:26:54,217
Come on.
Say it.
1917
01:26:56,526 --> 01:26:57,857
I'm your friend.
1918
01:26:58,795 --> 01:27:00,820
Will you hold me?
No.
1919
01:27:00,931 --> 01:27:02,262
Kiss on the cheek?
No.
1920
01:27:02,365 --> 01:27:04,765
Hug me. I don't want to
do any of that.
1921
01:27:04,868 --> 01:27:08,031
(GROANING)
Oh, no. Oh, no.
1922
01:27:08,138 --> 01:27:09,537
Aren't you dead yet?
1923
01:27:09,639 --> 01:27:11,266
Very close, Starchild.
1924
01:27:11,374 --> 01:27:12,966
The end is near.
1925
01:27:15,645 --> 01:27:16,612
(GASPS)
1926
01:27:19,382 --> 01:27:20,906
Sleep, friend.
1927
01:27:22,886 --> 01:27:24,979
They can't hurt you now.
1928
01:27:27,390 --> 01:27:28,357
(GRUNTS)
1929
01:27:29,726 --> 01:27:32,194
Right in the ball
sack. Fuck.
1930
01:27:33,697 --> 01:27:35,597
All right. I'm
gonna get a beer.
1931
01:27:35,732 --> 01:27:37,661
MAN: Hold your ground!
1932
01:27:38,435 --> 01:27:39,561
Enclose, stab.
1933
01:27:39,669 --> 01:27:41,136
As you command.
1934
01:27:41,238 --> 01:27:42,762
Yes, my lord.
North.
1935
01:27:43,907 --> 01:27:46,137
Davith is gone.
Nice work.
1936
01:27:46,243 --> 01:27:47,870
Where's Spaceman?
1937
01:27:52,983 --> 01:27:55,281
I don't think there's many
warriors left, you know.
1938
01:27:55,385 --> 01:27:56,579
If I could just get
him one-on-one,
1939
01:27:56,686 --> 01:27:58,483
I swear I could take him.
I could take him down.
1940
01:27:58,588 --> 01:28:01,489
Hold up, dude.
Methinks I have a plan.
1941
01:28:03,960 --> 01:28:06,793
Hey, King! King!
1942
01:28:07,831 --> 01:28:09,856
It's that guy from
The Burger Hole.
1943
01:28:09,966 --> 01:28:12,298
Oh, he seems
to be wounded.
1944
01:28:12,402 --> 01:28:13,630
Shall I take him out, sire?
1945
01:28:13,737 --> 01:28:16,205
Nay. This one is mine.
1946
01:28:26,816 --> 01:28:30,081
Well! Well, well.
1947
01:28:32,689 --> 01:28:34,247
(DANNY LAUGHS)
1948
01:28:34,357 --> 01:28:38,123
Looks like thou art fell for
the oldest trick in the scroll.
1949
01:28:38,361 --> 01:28:40,158
(YELLING)
1950
01:28:43,967 --> 01:28:44,934
(CRIES OUT)
1951
01:28:50,974 --> 01:28:54,535
Now you will kneel
before the king.
1952
01:28:54,644 --> 01:28:58,080
Oh, drag. I really wanted to
win that pointy little hat.
1953
01:28:58,181 --> 01:29:01,446
It's a crown!
1954
01:29:01,818 --> 01:29:04,651
(SCREAMING)
1955
01:29:09,392 --> 01:29:11,087
Cacedonia!
1956
01:29:13,296 --> 01:29:14,354
You!
1957
01:29:16,566 --> 01:29:17,692
Shit.
1958
01:29:20,470 --> 01:29:22,335
(GROANS)
1959
01:29:23,306 --> 01:29:26,139
Argotron. Face me,
if ye be brave enough.
1960
01:29:26,243 --> 01:29:28,370
Didn't I teach you
a lesson the last time?
1961
01:29:28,478 --> 01:29:31,936
I think you're afraid
I'm gonna kill you again.
1962
01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:35,551
Go get them, Augie!
1963
01:29:35,652 --> 01:29:37,984
You shut up, whore!
My mom is not a whore!
1964
01:29:38,088 --> 01:29:39,487
Yes, she is!
1965
01:29:39,723 --> 01:29:41,486
(GRUNTING)
1966
01:29:46,930 --> 01:29:48,830
He could actually win.
It's anyone's game.
1967
01:29:48,932 --> 01:29:50,126
MAN: Go, Blufgan!
1968
01:29:50,233 --> 01:29:51,666
Yo, Augie! Fuck
his shit up, man!
1969
01:29:56,339 --> 01:29:57,601
(BOTH GASP)
1970
01:30:11,755 --> 01:30:13,188
Screw it!
1971
01:30:13,290 --> 01:30:14,314
Bad decision.
1972
01:30:14,424 --> 01:30:16,153
No, it's a good decision.
1973
01:30:19,996 --> 01:30:20,963
(LAUGHS)
1974
01:30:21,398 --> 01:30:22,797
Oh, shit!
1975
01:30:28,171 --> 01:30:29,138
(SCREAMS)
1976
01:30:29,239 --> 01:30:30,206
(GASPS)
1977
01:30:31,341 --> 01:30:33,434
It's okay.
I don't need it.
1978
01:30:43,086 --> 01:30:44,178
Hey!
1979
01:30:45,055 --> 01:30:46,784
Please. No.
1980
01:30:56,566 --> 01:30:57,533
(EXCLAIMS)
1981
01:31:06,443 --> 01:31:07,410
(SCREAMS)
1982
01:31:13,783 --> 01:31:15,114
Yeah!
Yeah!
1983
01:31:15,218 --> 01:31:16,310
That's what
I'm talking about!
1984
01:31:16,419 --> 01:31:17,511
Yes!
1985
01:31:17,721 --> 01:31:18,983
(ALL CHEERING)
1986
01:31:19,089 --> 01:31:21,114
MAN: The gods have
played a coup.
1987
01:31:21,224 --> 01:31:24,216
Blufgan is the last man
standing of them all!
1988
01:31:25,428 --> 01:31:29,194
All hail King Blufgan!
1989
01:31:29,933 --> 01:31:31,924
ALL: Hail, Blufgan!
1990
01:31:35,405 --> 01:31:36,838
Yeah!
Yeah!
1991
01:31:50,653 --> 01:31:52,746
What? Esplen is still alive?
1992
01:31:54,457 --> 01:31:55,446
Esplen!
1993
01:31:55,558 --> 01:31:57,651
I was hiding in the
bushes the whole time.
1994
01:31:57,761 --> 01:31:59,092
That's a pretty
smart strategy.
1995
01:31:59,195 --> 01:32:02,028
Thanks.
Sorry I killed you.
1996
01:32:02,132 --> 01:32:03,656
It's okay.
1997
01:32:03,767 --> 01:32:07,828
All hail Queen Esplen
of Navalore!
1998
01:32:08,138 --> 01:32:10,436
ALL: Hail, Esplen!
1999
01:32:12,776 --> 01:32:14,539
(HORN BLOWING)
2000
01:32:16,646 --> 01:32:20,446
Game end!
2001
01:32:22,419 --> 01:32:26,552
MAN: One slice to the king's chest
and down like a sack of elderberries!
2002
01:32:29,125 --> 01:32:30,683
You did good, Augie.
2003
01:32:30,794 --> 01:32:32,386
I mean, a girl did beat you,
2004
01:32:32,495 --> 01:32:35,055
but it's definitely not as
gay as I thought it would be.
2005
01:32:35,165 --> 01:32:38,362
You were incredible.
Second place!
2006
01:32:38,468 --> 01:32:41,232
That's like a silver medal. Kind of
makes you hungry for the gold, huh?
2007
01:32:41,337 --> 01:32:42,304
(LAUGHS)
2008
01:32:42,572 --> 01:32:46,167
No, but we...
Serious, we are very, very proud of you.
2009
01:32:46,276 --> 01:32:48,938
Thanks for trying to
be nice, Mom. Jim.
2010
01:33:02,759 --> 01:33:04,420
Hail, Esplen!
2011
01:33:05,195 --> 01:33:06,457
Congratulations.
2012
01:33:06,563 --> 01:33:07,791
I can't believe I won.
2013
01:33:07,897 --> 01:33:10,127
When I killed you,
I was, like, "No way."
2014
01:33:10,233 --> 01:33:13,202
Yeah, well, the crown looks
very good on you, very regal.
2015
01:33:13,303 --> 01:33:15,601
Thanks.
I liked your whiskers.
2016
01:33:15,705 --> 01:33:17,138
Thanks.
Was that eyeliner?
2017
01:33:17,240 --> 01:33:19,367
Yeah, I just drew them on.
2018
01:33:19,476 --> 01:33:20,670
It looked good.
2019
01:33:20,777 --> 01:33:23,143
Thanks.
I have two cats, so...
2020
01:33:23,246 --> 01:33:25,942
Oh. Okay. Cool.
2021
01:33:26,049 --> 01:33:27,573
So, Augie,
2022
01:33:28,651 --> 01:33:32,451
now that I'm queen,
I was wondering if maybe
2023
01:33:33,623 --> 01:33:35,250
you'd wanna be my king?
2024
01:33:35,358 --> 01:33:37,952
Yeah. I'd love that.
2025
01:33:39,395 --> 01:33:41,693
Should...
Should I kiss you now?
2026
01:33:50,006 --> 01:33:51,371
Fuck, yeah.
2027
01:33:53,710 --> 01:33:55,701
(CHATTERING)
2028
01:33:57,814 --> 01:34:00,715
Do you know the
song Beth? By Kiss?
2029
01:34:01,150 --> 01:34:03,380
You did a really good
thing tonight, Wheeler.
2030
01:34:03,486 --> 01:34:04,783
Yeah. They'll probably
double our sentence
2031
01:34:04,888 --> 01:34:06,378
for not showing up to the
hearing this afternoon.
2032
01:34:06,489 --> 01:34:09,890
Well, listen. I got a long-standing
relationship with this judge,
2033
01:34:09,993 --> 01:34:13,224
and I don't want to get too graphic,
but I used to suck his dick for drugs.
2034
01:34:13,329 --> 01:34:14,853
Oh.
He got me my junk.
2035
01:34:14,964 --> 01:34:18,229
Long story short, you
guys are not going to jail.
2036
01:34:18,334 --> 01:34:20,734
Are you BSing me?
'Cause I know you're the best BSer.
2037
01:34:20,837 --> 01:34:21,861
No, I'm being straight
with you, man.
2038
01:34:23,237 --> 01:34:24,169
Shit. Thank you.
2039
01:34:24,272 --> 01:34:25,239
Whoa! Okay.
2040
01:34:25,373 --> 01:34:26,362
Thank you so much.
All right.
2041
01:34:26,474 --> 01:34:28,066
Hey, what's going on here?
2042
01:34:28,176 --> 01:34:29,336
(CHUCKLING)
2043
01:34:29,777 --> 01:34:32,302
So speaking of whatever you
guys were just talking about,
2044
01:34:32,413 --> 01:34:36,907
I happen to know a really nice
Italian restaurant in Manhattan Beach,
2045
01:34:37,018 --> 01:34:39,578
and I would love to take you
if you're interested.
2046
01:34:39,687 --> 01:34:41,177
Sure, Martin.
2047
01:34:41,355 --> 01:34:43,755
I just hope we're talking
pasta and not pussy.
2048
01:34:43,858 --> 01:34:46,827
Well, I was talking about
two adults having some pasta,
2049
01:34:46,928 --> 01:34:50,125
and, yes, I was kinda hoping
that it would lead to some pussy.
2050
01:34:50,231 --> 01:34:52,096
call it out there.
2051
01:34:52,200 --> 01:34:53,758
I mean, what are we after here?
Okay.
2052
01:34:53,868 --> 01:34:57,634
KUZZIK: Quiet down! Quiet down!
Gather round, ye nobles!
2053
01:34:58,105 --> 01:35:00,164
(PLAYING)
2054
01:35:13,369 --> 01:35:16,566
(SINGING)
Beth, I hear you calling
2055
01:35:16,673 --> 01:35:20,803
But I can't come
home right now
2056
01:35:20,910 --> 01:35:24,437
'Cause me and the
boys are slaying
2057
01:35:24,547 --> 01:35:28,745
And we just can't
find the sound
2058
01:35:29,586 --> 01:35:31,816
None of these lyrics
2059
01:35:32,989 --> 01:35:36,083
Have anything to do
with what I want to say
2060
01:35:37,126 --> 01:35:39,526
But it's got a pretty melody
2061
01:35:40,296 --> 01:35:42,958
And I get to sing your name
2062
01:35:44,567 --> 01:35:46,592
That seems pretty cool
2063
01:35:49,505 --> 01:35:52,030
Beth, you are so awesome
2064
01:35:52,675 --> 01:35:56,372
And I miss you so much
2065
01:35:56,479 --> 01:35:58,003
Your beautiful smile
2066
01:35:58,114 --> 01:36:01,379
And your positive attitude
and your whispering eye
2067
01:36:01,484 --> 01:36:02,451
(SNICKERS)
2068
01:36:04,587 --> 01:36:07,351
We don't have to get married
2069
01:36:07,457 --> 01:36:10,517
But I'm still in love with you
2070
01:36:11,394 --> 01:36:14,386
We can just be together
2071
01:36:15,298 --> 01:36:18,199
Like Tim Robbins
and Susan Sarandon
2072
01:36:18,301 --> 01:36:19,859
Good actors.
2073
01:36:20,303 --> 01:36:21,634
Tim and Sue
2074
01:36:23,640 --> 01:36:26,871
Beth, I am so
lonely without you
2075
01:36:26,976 --> 01:36:29,968
And I hope we'll be all right
2076
01:36:31,414 --> 01:36:33,575
You and me should make up
2077
01:36:36,185 --> 01:36:40,053
Tonight
2078
01:36:42,325 --> 01:36:44,384
KUZZIK: And the kiss!
2079
01:36:45,295 --> 01:36:46,387
MAN: Nice.
2080
01:36:56,439 --> 01:36:58,100
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
2081
01:37:31,007 --> 01:37:33,635
Hey, what does this
look like to you?
2082
01:37:39,215 --> 01:37:41,877
MAN 1: Hey.
MAN 2: How you doing?
2083
01:37:42,018 --> 01:37:42,985
(LAUGHS)
2084
01:37:43,419 --> 01:37:44,852
Yeah.
Yeah.
2085
01:37:50,893 --> 01:37:52,224
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
2086
01:37:53,296 --> 01:37:54,285
Put it back in.
2087
01:37:54,397 --> 01:37:56,262
Ouch. Ouch.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
2088
01:37:56,766 --> 01:37:58,233
There you go.
2089
01:37:59,302 --> 01:38:00,269
(CLICKS TONGUE)
2090
01:38:00,403 --> 01:38:01,363
Ow!
2091
01:40:01,364 --> 01:40:02,364
Subtitles by LeapinLar