1
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:34,786
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,005
(ALL SINGING ALONG)
3
00:00:54,681 --> 00:00:55,848
(EXPLOSION)
4
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,058
(MUSIC STOPS)
5
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,104
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
6
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,484
That was a bomb.
7
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,028
(PHONE LINES RINGING)
8
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,321
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
9
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,701
KIM: No word as to whether it was
an IED or a specific car bomb.
10
00:01:15,994 --> 00:01:17,954
Over 10 fatalities reported.
11
00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:23,084
Sources within ISAF suggest
that ISI may be involved.
12
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:26,713
Did these phones just go down or did
that fucker hang up on me?
13
00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:27,880
(GRUNTS)
14
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:32,218
Good thing that X was bodgy
or I'd be flying right now!
15
00:01:33,011 --> 00:01:34,762
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
16
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,143
KIM: I can't hear you, honey.
17
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:42,895
I need to talk to Ed Faber.
18
00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:44,606
(MAN COUGHING)
19
00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:48,026
Well, then who is fronting the show?
20
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,485
I can't hear you!
21
00:01:49,569 --> 00:01:51,112
Hey, that's my ass!
22
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,572
- Do you have a mother?
-(SPEAKING DARI)
23
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,365
Don't put your ass on my hand!
24
00:01:54,449 --> 00:01:56,701
Shut up, donkey pussy!
25
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,453
Whore! Dog-washer!
26
00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,871
My cock in your ear!
27
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,205
My cock in your ear!
I shit on your lips!
28
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,874
Eat a fart!
29
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,125
Hello!
30
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,209
Fu...
31
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:23,478
ED: Listen up. Iraq Two is happening.
32
00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:26,439
The network is stretched thin.
All our talent is going there.
33
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:29,859
We need people, any people,
to fill the void in Afghanistan.
34
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:32,945
And you folks here are all the unmarried,
35
00:02:33,029 --> 00:02:34,989
childless personnel in this bureau.
36
00:02:35,073 --> 00:02:36,574
(WOMAN SOBBING)
37
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:43,206
For those of you who are
behind the scenes, there are
38
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:46,417
opportunities to be on camera.
39
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:49,504
Kim, are you going to be joining in?
40
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,756
The travel or the crying?
41
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,218
ED: Um, hopefully, the travel.
42
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,928
I'll think about it.
43
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,013
TANYA: (ON TV) The success
of Operation Mongoose
44
00:02:59,097 --> 00:03:01,766
has overshadowed
the real lesson to be learned,
45
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:05,019
that the Taliban are far from vanquished.
46
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,187
And as the drums of war
47
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,897
beat ever louder in Iraq,
48
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:12,360
the NATO mission in Afghanistan
grows increasingly uncertain.
49
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,153
(PANTING)
50
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:19,283
Tanya Vanderpoel, outside
Lashkar Gah, Afghanistan,
51
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,952
- VBC World News.
-(PHONE RINGING)
52
00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:24,997
CHRIS: (ON PHONE) Hey.
53
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,375
KIM: I got you! Hey-
54
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:30,044
Uh, when do you get back from Houston?
55
00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:32,380
CHRIS: I think on Tuesday. Why?
56
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:36,551
Uh, because I'm going
to Afghanistan on Tuesday.
57
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:39,554
CHRIS: You're going
to Afghanistan on Tuesday?
58
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:40,930
Yeah.
59
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:42,890
CHRIS: But you write news copy.
60
00:03:42,974 --> 00:03:44,392
Wait. For how long?
61
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:47,353
- Like, three months.
- CHRIS: What?
62
00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:54,360
CHRIS: Kim!
63
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,155
KIM: Hey!
64
00:03:58,698 --> 00:03:59,824
I can't believe this worked out!
65
00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:01,075
(KIM LAUGHS)
66
00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:02,493
Hey, you want to have a quickie
67
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:03,828
on the changing table in the bathroom?
68
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,872
Yeah, I don't think I could get it up
69
00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:07,373
with that little koala looking at me.
70
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,666
(CHUCKLES)
71
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,626
Also, they're boarding already.
72
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,295
Hey, don't worry. Just go. Go, go, go.
73
00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:15,673
Oh, shoot, I... I copied a key for you, so...
74
00:04:15,757 --> 00:04:16,924
Plants, mail.
75
00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:18,801
- Anything else I'm forgetting?
- I think that's it.
76
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,636
This is crazy.
77
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,513
Listen, I think it's impressive.
78
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:23,848
- Starting a new career?
-(WHIMPERS)
79
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,308
-it's gonna be great.
-(CHUCKLES)
80
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,977
And listen, in three months...
81
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,395
(MIMICKING SCHWARZENEGGER)
"I'll be back."
82
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:30,772
No, that's terrible! No.
83
00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,857
Don't remember me like that. No.
84
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,027
Bye. Okay. Okay.
85
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,867
It's not my job. I'm a producer.
General news. Enron.
86
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,452
These coalminers in Pennsylvania,
87
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:45,953
but you probably didn't see that.
88
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:47,663
'Cause we got two wars going on now,
89
00:04:47,747 --> 00:04:50,166
so, uh, I know how to set up a BGAN
90
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,918
and no one will sue if I die
91
00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:55,838
so I got an expedited visa,
like, two days ago,
92
00:04:55,922 --> 00:04:58,758
and I guess now I'm a war reporter.
93
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,676
(PASSENGERS GROANING)
94
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,553
Shit dick!
95
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,264
Corkscrew landing.
96
00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:08,476
(LAUGHING) In case
a missile is fired at the aircraft!
97
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,311
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
98
00:05:10,812 --> 00:05:13,815
Kabul International Airport.
99
00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,317
K.l.A.! "Killed In Action." (LAUGHS)
100
00:05:17,235 --> 00:05:20,321
PILOT: (OVER PA) Once again,
we thank you for flying with us.
101
00:05:30,957 --> 00:05:31,999
KIM: Sorry.
102
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:33,835
Uh, sorry.
103
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:35,503
Shit.
104
00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:37,964
(TAXI DRIVERS CLAMORING)
105
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:40,883
No, thank you. No, thank you.
106
00:05:43,803 --> 00:05:44,971
MAN: Miss Baker?
107
00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:47,139
I am Fahim.
108
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,560
Oh, Fahim, hi! Pleased to meet you.
109
00:05:50,643 --> 00:05:51,853
The car is over here and we go.
110
00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:52,895
(YELLING IN DARI)
111
00:05:52,979 --> 00:05:55,356
Cover your head, shameless whore!
112
00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:58,442
She says, uh...
"Welcome to Afghanistan."
113
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,361
Okay, let's go.
114
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:03,656
Here is your local mobile.
The number is on the back.
115
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,533
Yeah, I ordered some money last week.
Still in the post.
116
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,285
- I'll fix you up next week.
- Okay.
117
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,578
(COUGHS)
118
00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:11,205
Yes, the air here
takes some getting used to.
119
00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:13,165
It's quite polluted with feces.
120
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,418
NIC: Ah, here she is! How are you, Kim?
121
00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,378
Welcome to the Stan. My name's Nic.
122
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,838
I'll be doing your security.
I'll take your bag.
123
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:21,549
Fahim. The police are giving
me shit for parking here.
124
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,885
They just want money.
125
00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:28,055
Wait, oh, no. Um, do you need money?
Because the network gave me money.
126
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:30,266
NIC: No, keep that on you!
FAHIM: No, no, no! Kim, please!
127
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:33,352
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
128
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,608
Piss off, that's it! That's it! Hey! Hey!
129
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,694
- I'm sorry. Sorry.
- NIC: Piss off!
130
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,792
Remember that we are at altitude here,
131
00:06:56,876 --> 00:06:59,170
so drink plenty of water
while you acclimatize.
132
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,963
Where did you learn English?
133
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:03,382
At medical school. I was a doctor.
134
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,676
NIC: Listen, rest up tonight.
135
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,220
Tomorrow, I'll drive you
to the base for your embed.
136
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:10,264
And just one bag,
137
00:07:10,348 --> 00:07:12,391
but make sure you pack
extra socks and knickers.
138
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:15,519
That's like, um, it's like "panties," yeah?
139
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,188
(CHUCKLES) Mmm-hmm.
140
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,858
So, you've been embedded before, then?
141
00:07:20,942 --> 00:07:24,278
Not really. We all did
hostile-zone training in 2001.
142
00:07:24,362 --> 00:07:27,448
They taught us to
open our mouths if we get mortared...
143
00:07:27,907 --> 00:07:29,492
- That kind of stuff.
-(GRUNTS)
144
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:31,494
Okay.
145
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,463
G' day , Qadar.
146
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,300
(SPEAKING DARI)
147
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:57,603
FAHIM: The feces smell
all the way to here.
148
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,897
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
149
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,362
Your room, Kim, is upstairs.
150
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:10,950
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
151
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:13,452
NIC: Yeah, they're bloody addicted.
152
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,705
That one melted a laptop
downloading porno.
153
00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:17,540
-(SCOFFS)
- Jaweed, yes,
154
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,834
he likes to watch men with donkeys.
155
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,460
- Hi.
- Hi.
156
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,379
It's unfortunate.
157
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,631
Kim, this is Tail Brian.
158
00:08:25,715 --> 00:08:26,882
Brian Hooper. Tall Brian.
159
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:28,009
- Hi.
- I'm your shooter.
160
00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:31,971
So, is there another Brian around here
somewhere that you're taller than?
161
00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:34,598
Short Brian. Works for Reuters.
162
00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:37,143
Couldn't one of you just be "Brian"?
163
00:08:37,977 --> 00:08:40,271
Fair enough. Didn't think of that.
164
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,939
Also Short Brian's dead.
165
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:44,817
- Oh, fuck. Really?
- TALL BRIAN: Yes.
166
00:08:45,735 --> 00:08:48,571
Anyway, welcome to the Fun House.
167
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,952
(WOMAN MOANING)
168
00:08:56,037 --> 00:08:57,538
Home sweet home.
169
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,207
FAHIM: This is your room.
170
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,128
Is there a shower?
171
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,147
(DISTANT GUNFIRE)
172
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,117
ANCHORMAN: (ON TV)
A nation accustomed to war
173
00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:38,079
once again seeks a return to normality.
174
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:42,416
And nothing symbolizes that
effort more than this place,
175
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,794
the Kabul Zoo.
176
00:09:44,877 --> 00:09:46,670
- No, he didn't. The zoo?
-(MAN SCOFFING)
177
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:48,089
Go back to Wapping.
178
00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,465
You fucking tourist!
179
00:09:50,216 --> 00:09:53,511
Uh, shit. Sorry.
I'm trying to find the shower?
180
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:54,929
You're the new girl.
181
00:09:55,513 --> 00:09:58,182
Oh, my God. Uh... Kim Baker.
182
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,059
Just got here from New York.
183
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,811
I'm Tanya. Oh, my God,
184
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:04,230
it's so nice to have another
woman in the house!
185
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,607
I love that lippy color. What is that?
186
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:07,942
No, they're just really chapped.
187
00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:11,112
Oh, you poor thing.
Can I get you anything?
188
00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:15,199
I'm sorry, I'm freaking out
because I saw your
189
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:18,619
special about your embed in
Korengal, and it was amazing.
190
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,955
Thank you. That's so sweet.
191
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:23,457
- Where's the shower?
- Yes. This way.
192
00:10:24,959 --> 00:10:27,086
Can I ask a favor, Kim?
193
00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:29,463
- And absolutely feel free to say no.
- Yeah, sure.
194
00:10:29,547 --> 00:10:30,756
I hate to even bring it up.
195
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,217
- I feel so rude even asking this.
- No, it's fine.
196
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,845
Can I fuck your security guys?
197
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:37,972
What? Oh.
198
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,558
By all means, yeah.
199
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:41,684
Yeah? I mean, I wouldn't ask,
200
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,644
it's just that for some reason,
201
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,896
the VBC use an American contractor
202
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:47,940
and, I mean, no offense,
but they're all, like,
203
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,859
goatees and "fat-strong."
204
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:52,278
You know? But the Aussies
and Kiwis are so hot.
205
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,321
Right. I get it. Be my guest.
206
00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:56,073
You sure? Don't just say that to be polite.
207
00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:57,408
No, I wouldn't. I'm not.
208
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,702
Even Nic? You don't want
Nic for yourself?
209
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,328
(LAUGHS) mic?
210
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,956
No.ldonW.No.
211
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,333
That's... No, that would never happen.
So you're good.
212
00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:10,171
Hey! No, Kim, don't say that.
You could have Nic.
213
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:13,340
In Afghanistan,
you're a serious piece of ass.
214
00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:15,009
Thank you. That's nice.
215
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,594
Because you're what, I mean, you're like,
216
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:19,597
a seven, a six or seven in New York?
217
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:22,349
Here, you're a nine.
218
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,476
Borderline ten.
219
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,145
It's called "Kabul Cute."
220
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,857
What are you here, like a 15?
(CHUCKLES)
221
00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:32,651
Yeah.
222
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:34,653
Huh.
223
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,948
The thing is, I have a very
serious boyfriend at home,
224
00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:39,617
so, you're good.
225
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,993
All right, well, come talk
to me in two months
226
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,746
when your pussy's eating your leg.
Shower's that way.
227
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,706
(KIM SIGHING)
228
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,794
(DOGS WHINING)
229
00:11:53,631 --> 00:11:54,965
CHRIS: How you doing?
230
00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:57,551
It's bananas here. It's, um...
231
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,347
My nose is running.
There's shit in the air,
232
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,806
literally. (SNIFFLES)
233
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,058
And
234
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,685
I don't think I can do this.
235
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,229
CHRIS: Do what?
236
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:09,730
Kim?
237
00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:12,566
I don't think I can do this.
238
00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:14,652
Can you see... I don't... Hello?
239
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:16,820
Shit.
240
00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:19,198
(SIGHS)
241
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:35,923
I'm sorry, Colonel,
I can't accept gifts as a journalist.
242
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,216
Okay.
243
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,926
So lodging, transport,
244
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:41,512
chow and protection,
that's all you can accept?
245
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,264
KIM: I'll do my best to stay objective.
246
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:46,392
I don't care if you can do your job.
I care if my men can.
247
00:12:46,684 --> 00:12:49,728
Are you familiar with the term
"four-ten-four", Miss Baker?
248
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,188
I am not, Colonel.
249
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:54,108
It refers to women
who are fours back home
250
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,068
become tens when they ship out
251
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:59,029
and when they're back stateside,
they become fours again.
252
00:12:59,405 --> 00:13:00,614
Are you saying I'm a four?
253
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:04,451
I'm saying you carry
an orange fucking backpack.
254
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:09,373
I've seen people with actual experience
make bad decisions here.
255
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,084
So while you're outside
the wire with my men,
256
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:14,503
you will in no way
distract them, understood?
257
00:13:15,713 --> 00:13:17,965
Are you asking me not
to sleep with your soldiers?
258
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,259
No, not "soldiers." Marines.
259
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:21,510
You're not here to sleep with
260
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,805
or perform jobs of any type
on my Marines.
261
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,307
Clear copy, Miss Baker?
262
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,892
- Copy that.
- Good.
263
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:32,021
We'll get you out to a FOB
as soon as we find a ride for you.
264
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:33,647
In the meantime, Captain Stern here
265
00:13:33,731 --> 00:13:35,232
will see to it that you get a wet hootch.
266
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,234
A what?
267
00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,236
It's a tent with a shower.
268
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,656
Unless you'd prefer a dry hootch.
269
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,199
I would not, sir.
270
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,994
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
271
00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:19,735
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
272
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,593
-(PAPER FLUTTERING)
- KIM: Sorry.
273
00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:47,971
Could you just... (CLEARS THROAT)
State your name and rank?
274
00:14:48,347 --> 00:14:50,349
Gunnery Sergeant Clinton J. Hurd.
275
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:53,018
All right. Uh... Dang it!
276
00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:57,439
So, do you believe the Afghani people
are happy about our presence here?
277
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,441
No, Afghans are the people.
278
00:14:59,525 --> 00:15:02,778
(CHUCKLING) Afghanis is the currency.
279
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,655
KIM: That's right. I knew that. Thank you.
280
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,782
What do you believe
your mission to be here?
281
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,200
Ma'am, you got a sticker on your pants.
282
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,369
It's bugging the shit out of me. Ma'am...
283
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,454
-(RIPPING STICKER)
- Fahim.
284
00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:14,373
What inspired you to enlist originally?
285
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:19,211
I'm a big fan of the movie Predator
with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
286
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,671
We're the same height.
287
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:24,800
Do you think the war in Iraq
has affected your resources here?
288
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:27,636
I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not authorized
to answer that question.
289
00:15:29,221 --> 00:15:32,516
I'd say we're both
on the wrong side of Persia, ma'am.
290
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,976
Iraq is where you get some right now.
291
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,227
Here just has shit all.
292
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,938
Are you guys getting
outside the wire much?
293
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,065
Yes, ma'am. Most days. Uh...
294
00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:42,776
You know, we help out with
community projects and all.
295
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,028
And wells. Uh...
296
00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:48,532
And sometimes at night
we shoot the big gun,
297
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,659
-but, you know, it's quiet here.
- Jesus!
298
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,162
We don't wear IBAs on the FOB.
299
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:56,165
I don't even chamber a round
in my weapon anymore, because,
300
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:59,918
you know, I figure accidental discharge
is scarier than the Taliban.
301
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:03,505
With Iraq, do you feel like people have
forgotten about Afghanistan?
302
00:16:03,589 --> 00:16:05,257
Oh, well...
303
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,177
Yes, ma'am. I'd say that
surely is the word for it.
304
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,847
This here's a forgotten war.
305
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,516
It's capital F, capital W.
306
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,352
What's your, uh... Your name and rank?
307
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:21,857
I'm Lance Corporal Coughlin,
India Company 3-5.
308
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,526
Thank you.
309
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,404
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
310
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,368
Kim. Your hair.
311
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,331
- Thanks, Fahim.
- Mmm-hmm.
312
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,459
You really are a fixer.
313
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,172
(SIGHS)
314
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,715
Moon's out.
315
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,259
Hmm.
316
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:51,053
It's beautiful.
317
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,098
(INDISTINCT YELLING IN DISTANCE)
318
00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:58,894
(TALL BRIAN SPEAKING DARI)
319
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,395
Suck my dick!
320
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:01,730
(TALL BRIAN BLOWING)
321
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:02,898
What does that mean?
322
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:06,318
- It means, "Oh, what a terrible event!"
- Uh-huh.
323
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,486
CAPT. STERN: Miss Baker.
324
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,404
Colonel Hollanek
is coming to Norton tomorrow
325
00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:10,989
to check on some of our PRT work.
326
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,116
And you and your crew
are clear to tag along.
327
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:15,911
- Great, thanks.
- Rolls out at zero-six.
328
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:18,956
- That's 6:00 a.m.
- I know that, yeah.
329
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:21,792
- MARINE: Fire!
-(EXPLODING)
330
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,379
SGT. HURD: Come on, let's go!
Get this shit together! We gotta move!
331
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,214
Fucking hands out of your pockets!
332
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,799
You think you're in the fucking Army?
333
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:30,717
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
334
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:33,262
What is this?
335
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:34,888
Uh, that's my supplies. Camera stuff.
336
00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:36,765
You fucking kidding me?
337
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:40,811
This is an orange ruck.
No, ma'am. Not on my vehicle.
338
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:44,314
The girl at the North Face store
said it was, like, military grade.
339
00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:46,984
Well, where are you gonna hide it?
Inside a fucking sunset?
340
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:50,404
I mean, even the Dutch Army
don't wear orange.
341
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,822
Fix it.
342
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:54,658
How do I fix it?
343
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:55,909
SGT. HURD: Rapono!
344
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,704
(MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
345
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,167
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
346
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,428
Got to stay hydrated, ma'am.
347
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,763
Coughlin. I didn't recognize you.
348
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,391
That's 'cause I'm in warrior mode.
349
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,184
It makes me taller. (LAUGHS)
350
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,896
Enjoy the ride, ma'am.
351
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:31,903
(BRAYING)
352
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:38,410
(CHILDREN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
353
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,798
HOLLANEK: I'm dying to
know who blew up my well.
354
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,216
Working on it, Colonel.
355
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,303
That was a nice fucking well, Corporal.
356
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:57,679
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)
357
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,142
What'd he say?
358
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,062
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
359
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,148
(REPEATS DARI WORDS)
What's that mean?
360
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,108
He wants to know
if you are the Russians.
361
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:13,153
- The Russians?
- Mmm.
362
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,822
- No!
-(SPEAKS DARI)
363
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:18,367
No, sir. That was 20 years ago.
364
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,785
And we're here to help.
365
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:23,830
And I'm black.
366
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,124
(SPEAKING DARI)
367
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,752
The Russians are blacks now.
368
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,587
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
369
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,675
If we fix the well, you can't blow it up.
370
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:39,054
Kim, I was talking
to some of the younger men.
371
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,390
They say the Taliban came at night.
372
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,809
I don't care. No. I drank
too much water and I have to pee.
373
00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:46,770
Stop. Stop. I am engaged to be married.
374
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:50,023
Okay, Fahim,
I know you like your women to be, like,
375
00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:52,442
beautiful, mysterious IKEA bags, okay?
376
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:55,612
But we urinate, Doctor.
Out of our vaginas.
377
00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:58,615
You think you urinate out the...
378
00:19:58,699 --> 00:20:00,075
No. I know it's a separate thing!
379
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,368
God! Just please help me.
380
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,328
FAHIM: There is nowhere for you to go.
381
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:05,122
I cannot ask these men about this.
382
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,748
And I'm not allowed to talk to the women.
383
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:10,001
Fine. Forget it. I'll hold it.
Women are tough, right?
384
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:12,963
(WATER GURGLING)
385
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,881
(YELPS)
386
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:18,719
(GROANS)
387
00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:20,387
Are you okay, ma'am?
388
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:21,888
(URINATING)
389
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,890
COUGHLIN:
Gosh, damn it, man. This is a new one.
390
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:27,769
I was cursing your name at 0-stupid-30,
but I'm glad I came out today.
391
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:31,815
Would you not have gone
on patrol today if I weren't here?
392
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,900
No, I'd be back in Norton filling HESCOs.
393
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:35,193
-(INDISTINCT MESSAGE ON RADIO)
- Copy that.
394
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:38,321
We're still 5 mikes.
It must be one hairy dump.
395
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,699
No, I'm just getting my pants on.
Damn it, Sergeant Hurd.
396
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,033
Whatever.
397
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:43,201
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
398
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:44,327
SGT. HURD: Marine!
399
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:46,121
Make a hole, Baker.
400
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,628
Move out!
401
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,702
-(INDISTINCT RADIO MESSAGE
- Why are we stopping?
402
00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:27,454
The lead vehicle bottomed out.
403
00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:30,499
SGT. HURD: Okay! Heads on a swivel!
404
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,043
Didn't we come this way?
405
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,462
We most surely did.
406
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:37,130
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO)
407
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:39,341
(GLASS SHATTERS)
408
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,551
- SGT. HURD: Contact left!
- Stay in the vehicle!
409
00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:43,220
(GUNFIRE)
410
00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:48,391
Shit! Hot! Hot bullet things!
411
00:21:51,061 --> 00:21:52,729
(MEN YELLING)
412
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:55,649
Kim, don't get out of the car! Kim!
413
00:21:57,275 --> 00:21:58,860
-(INDISTINCT YELLING)
-(GUNFIRE)
414
00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:01,988
Whoa! (STUTTERS)
415
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:04,533
Get down behind the engine block!
416
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:06,409
Stay there! Stay there!
417
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:09,162
-(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
- FAHIM: Kim.
418
00:22:09,246 --> 00:22:10,580
Get back in the car!
419
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:23,301
No, please, Kim!
420
00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:36,398
(MEN WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
421
00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:40,485
Ma'am, I asked you to stay put!
422
00:22:40,569 --> 00:22:42,028
Those assholes tried to shoot us!
423
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,613
(LAUGHS)
424
00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:44,781
HOLLANEK: Jesus!
425
00:22:44,865 --> 00:22:46,908
You have got to be shitting me!
426
00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:50,203
You just shot a Javelin at a fucking car!
427
00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:52,664
That's an $80,000 piece of ordnance!
428
00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:55,834
Can any of you geniuses tell me
the Kelley Blue Book value
429
00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:58,753
of a 1989 Toyota pickup?
430
00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:13,184
Oorah, Baker. Get some.
431
00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:20,734
I hope you got all that on film, ma'am.
432
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,903
'Cause that right there,
that's what we do best.
433
00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:24,446
Hearts and minds.
434
00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:27,324
That's the two best places
to shoot somebody.
435
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:29,242
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER
-(SIGHS)
436
00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:32,537
What?
437
00:23:32,621 --> 00:23:34,289
I told you to stay in the car.
438
00:23:34,372 --> 00:23:36,333
Okay, I'll get back in the car.
439
00:23:37,542 --> 00:23:38,668
The Marines don't have
much to say about Iraq.
440
00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:43,506
Their mantra is that
they are focused on doing the job here.
441
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:45,592
And even though, as we saw firsthand,
442
00:23:45,675 --> 00:23:48,929
attacks against coalition forces are up,
443
00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:52,182
Corporal Coughlin told me earlier
that he is still not planning
444
00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:55,602
to lock and load his weapon
when he is out on patrol.
445
00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:58,104
Our own Kim Baker reporting for us live.
446
00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:00,231
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
447
00:24:02,025 --> 00:24:03,234
Welcome!
448
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:04,903
(ALL CHEERING)
449
00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:08,365
Wow, good job, Kim! Ruthless!
450
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:13,954
Bitch, we are going out tonight! Whoo!
451
00:24:14,037 --> 00:24:15,664
(ALL CHEERING)
452
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,052
(INAUDIBLE)
453
00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:38,186
(BOY CRYING)
454
00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:43,233
It's okay. It's okay. Here.
455
00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:49,155
-It's okay. It's all right.
-(MUMBLES IN DARI)
456
00:24:53,785 --> 00:24:55,370
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
457
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:00,250
Why don't I know who you are?
458
00:25:01,751 --> 00:25:04,838
You're what, like, 42?
459
00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:05,922
Sold.
460
00:25:06,006 --> 00:25:07,340
Why have I never heard of you?
461
00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:10,802
Yeah, I haven't done
a lot of overseas reporting.
462
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:14,097
I've done mostly domestic reportage.
463
00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:16,474
UReportagenr?
464
00:25:16,558 --> 00:25:19,394
(STAMMERS) Domestic reportage.
465
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:22,814
Look, everyone in the Kabubble
is full of shit. It's okay.
466
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,065
Half the accents are fake.
467
00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:28,153
The whole "I'm ex-Special Forces"
wankers are flat out lying.
468
00:25:28,486 --> 00:25:30,113
- 11?
-(LAUGHS)
469
00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:35,035
Oh, Christ, what is this?
470
00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:36,828
I really shouldn't have
my back to the door.
471
00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:38,371
It's bad tradecraft,
472
00:25:38,455 --> 00:25:41,124
but it's worth it to talk to you two ladies.
473
00:25:42,751 --> 00:25:44,127
- Fuck off.
- Ugh.
474
00:25:44,461 --> 00:25:45,795
(CHUCKLES) You got it.
475
00:25:47,338 --> 00:25:49,340
-(SCOFFS)
- MAN: Champagne?
476
00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:50,800
Thank you.
477
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:52,177
Finish this,
478
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:54,512
and then we'll go meet some friends
in Wazir Akbar Khan.
479
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:57,307
And I am warning you now,
do not sleep with lain.
480
00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:59,350
- Who is lain?
- He's a proper asshole.
481
00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:01,436
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
482
00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:03,104
Is that a cab?
483
00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:06,649
(TRAFFIC BUSTLING)
484
00:26:06,775 --> 00:26:07,901
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
485
00:26:07,984 --> 00:26:09,611
KIM: ls your full name Shakira?
486
00:26:09,694 --> 00:26:12,072
'Cause I thought it was
a Colombian nickname.
487
00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,281
Why would you think that?
488
00:26:13,364 --> 00:26:14,449
- KIM: Because of the singer.
-(LAUGHS)
489
00:26:14,532 --> 00:26:19,037
No, I know. I'm kidding.
No, it's Arabic for "thankful."
490
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:20,747
Kim is American for "white lady."
491
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:24,334
(LAUGHS) Actually, "Kim"
means "who" in Turkish.
492
00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,252
"Who's that white lady?"
493
00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:27,754
-it's Kim.
-(LAUGHS)
494
00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:30,340
That's so you can remember my name.
495
00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:33,134
So... This is lain. lain, Kim.
496
00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:34,511
(IAIN CLEARS THROAT)
497
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:38,014
Kim. Kim. Kim. Kim, nice work.
498
00:26:38,348 --> 00:26:41,184
You sit next to the only two women
in a country the size of Texas
499
00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:43,478
that remind a man
that you're really only okay looking.
500
00:26:44,854 --> 00:26:47,273
Well, she said you were an asshole,
501
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:48,650
but that's really above and beyond.
502
00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:49,776
- Who said that?
- Tanya.
503
00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,277
IAIN: No. No. No. I don't think so.
504
00:26:51,361 --> 00:26:53,113
A lot of women find me
very charming, Kim.
505
00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:55,865
- No, not biological women.
- Oh, really?
506
00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:57,283
Women who think that an accent
507
00:26:57,367 --> 00:26:58,409
is the same thing
508
00:26:58,493 --> 00:26:59,953
-as a personality, maybe.
- Oh!
509
00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:01,454
(SPEAKING GAELIC)
Nae, haud yer wheesht.
510
00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:03,581
Go bile yer heid, ya wee bampot.
511
00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:08,002
I bet you're wetter than a submarine
with screen doors now.
512
00:27:08,086 --> 00:27:09,087
Oh! (SNICKERS)
513
00:27:09,546 --> 00:27:11,131
I got that from a pickup book.
514
00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:12,632
- Jesus.
- Oh, yeah.
515
00:27:12,715 --> 00:27:13,716
Mmm.
516
00:27:14,384 --> 00:27:15,468
So what's your deal?
517
00:27:15,552 --> 00:27:17,095
You got chucked over by some guy
518
00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:18,805
so you think, "Forget him.
519
00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:20,890
"I'm gonna go discover
the wonders of the East,
520
00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:23,268
"and I'm gonna fuck a Scottish guy
and write a book."
521
00:27:23,351 --> 00:27:24,978
I'm Scottish, by the way.
522
00:27:27,605 --> 00:27:28,606
(GROWLS)
523
00:27:28,773 --> 00:27:30,400
-(LAUGHING)
-lAIN: Cheers.
524
00:27:30,483 --> 00:27:31,901
WOMEN: Cheers.
525
00:27:34,112 --> 00:27:35,113
(CLEARS THROAT)
526
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,907
- Cheers.
- TANYA: Salud.
527
00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,868
- Cheers.
- SHAKIRA: To Kim!
528
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:43,746
Is this your first night out?
529
00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:45,373
Yes.
530
00:27:45,582 --> 00:27:47,167
It is, actually.
531
00:27:48,751 --> 00:27:51,504
That little bastard!
532
00:27:51,588 --> 00:27:52,589
Oh, no, Kim.
533
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:55,258
You didn't give Egg Boy
money, did you? (CHUCKLES)
534
00:27:55,842 --> 00:27:59,345
Hey! Egg Boy! Hey!
You're a little shitbird!
535
00:27:59,429 --> 00:28:00,513
(YELLS IN DARI)
536
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:02,265
I hope you get salmonella!
537
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:04,100
-(YELLS IN DARI)
-om
538
00:28:04,601 --> 00:28:06,186
I gave him, like, $100!
539
00:28:06,269 --> 00:28:07,729
-$100?
- What?
540
00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:10,732
I'd give you my eggs for $100.
541
00:28:11,983 --> 00:28:13,067
KIM: Where are we going?
542
00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:15,612
TANYA: A whorehouse.
You're going to love it.
543
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,280
(GUNSHOTS)
544
00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:20,283
N: You see that?
545
00:28:21,201 --> 00:28:23,286
SHAKIRA: It's a brothel
and a Chinese restaurant.
546
00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:25,413
(SINGING POP SONG)
547
00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:32,128
(LAUGHS)
548
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:37,759
Do you remember this video?
549
00:28:39,802 --> 00:28:41,304
Everybody was drawings.
550
00:28:44,557 --> 00:28:46,809
Me? Oh, no, thank you.
551
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,855
Look, a month ago,
I was writing a story about corn syrup.
552
00:28:50,939 --> 00:28:52,732
Okay? I was not happy.
553
00:28:52,815 --> 00:28:55,193
I didn't think there was anything else
out there for me.
554
00:28:55,276 --> 00:28:56,569
Just death.
555
00:28:56,653 --> 00:28:57,820
- Then this came along and...
-(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
556
00:28:57,904 --> 00:28:59,614
I don't care
557
00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:03,368
Wenge, do you guys have
regular access to healthcare?
558
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,328
(CONTINUES SINGING)
559
00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:08,748
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
560
00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:10,875
(CHEERING)
561
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,421
He called me a Fenian bastard.
562
00:29:15,505 --> 00:29:18,841
I fuckin' showed him what for,
kicked his teeth in, the cunt.
563
00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:22,178
-(TANYA LAUGHS)
- Oi, Tanya? What's her story?
564
00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:26,599
She has a boyfriend.
And she's unconscious, okay?
565
00:29:26,683 --> 00:29:29,143
Not that either of those things
have ever stopped you before.
566
00:29:29,227 --> 00:29:31,104
That's not true. That's not true.
567
00:29:31,187 --> 00:29:33,231
- Firstly, I'm afraid of boyfriends.
- Mmm-hmm.
568
00:29:33,314 --> 00:29:35,358
Secondly, I'm a gentleman.
569
00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:36,484
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
570
00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:40,613
What? According to no less
an authority than Grace Mugabe.
571
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:42,198
I held a door open for her once.
572
00:29:42,282 --> 00:29:44,492
(WHISPERING) Let me just
have a little peekaboo.
573
00:29:44,575 --> 00:29:45,868
-(LAUGHS)
- Get out!
574
00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:47,745
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
Actually, not bad.
575
00:29:48,454 --> 00:29:50,957
- I think I missed one.
- TANYA: Stop! (LAUGHS)
576
00:29:51,874 --> 00:29:54,294
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
II y a du monde au balcon. Pas mal.
577
00:29:54,377 --> 00:29:55,545
Kim?
578
00:29:55,628 --> 00:29:57,046
You all right there, mate?
579
00:29:57,130 --> 00:29:58,631
IAIN: Oh, wouldn't you like to know?
580
00:29:58,715 --> 00:30:00,383
Hey. I'm just talking about her safety.
581
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:04,053
Nic here does security for Kim, lain.
582
00:30:04,762 --> 00:30:05,763
(SIGHS)
583
00:30:11,728 --> 00:30:13,062
Right, well!
584
00:30:14,147 --> 00:30:16,274
-(TANYA LAUGHS)
- I'm off. Excuse me.
585
00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:17,650
- Excused.
- Good night.
586
00:30:17,734 --> 00:30:19,736
- Bye, darling!
-lAIN: Good night.
587
00:30:22,447 --> 00:30:24,490
The best, Nic!
588
00:30:26,159 --> 00:30:27,577
(LAUGHING)
589
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:35,668
(SMACKS LIPS)
590
00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:39,005
Oh, that's Oprah.
591
00:30:42,258 --> 00:30:43,509
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
592
00:30:45,928 --> 00:30:46,929
(GASPS)
593
00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:52,268
(GROGGILY) Hello.
594
00:30:52,352 --> 00:30:54,854
It's Fahim. Are you ready to go?
595
00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:57,857
Go where, dude? It's Saturday.
596
00:30:57,940 --> 00:31:00,276
Friday is the only day off
in the Islamic week.
597
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,778
We have interviews.
598
00:31:01,861 --> 00:31:03,696
No! That was not made clear.
That's... No.
599
00:31:03,780 --> 00:31:05,782
That's bullshit, Fahim. No.
600
00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:08,618
Kim, today we are meeting
Ali Massoud Sadiq.
601
00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:11,454
I sent research.
He's likely to be Attorney General.
602
00:31:11,621 --> 00:31:12,789
(MOANING)
603
00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:16,376
(COUGHS)
604
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,879
- Please hold.
- Please come outside.
605
00:31:19,962 --> 00:31:23,174
This is against what I believe
as an American.
606
00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:25,259
I am sorry, but we have to go.
607
00:31:25,343 --> 00:31:27,136
Oh, my shoes. Shit.
608
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:29,722
You wish to interview me, Mr. Ahmadzai?
609
00:31:30,223 --> 00:31:33,142
I do, Mr. Sadiq. Yes, on camera.
610
00:31:33,559 --> 00:31:35,311
Mr. Ahmadzai,
611
00:31:35,395 --> 00:31:37,397
lam a person of,
612
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,732
Of no consequence.
613
00:31:39,816 --> 00:31:41,067
Well, you soon might be
614
00:31:41,150 --> 00:31:43,611
the second most powerful
person in Afghanistan.
615
00:31:43,694 --> 00:31:44,862
Mr. Ahmadzai,
616
00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:48,241
I run a small department
inside the Interior Ministry.
617
00:31:48,324 --> 00:31:51,452
What possible interest
could I be to the Americans?
618
00:31:51,536 --> 00:31:55,039
Because your Ministry
for the Prevention of Vice
619
00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:56,999
and the Encouragement of Virtue
620
00:31:57,083 --> 00:32:01,212
sounds a lot like the Taliban's
old Ministry of Vice and Virtue.
621
00:32:03,881 --> 00:32:05,216
Don't you think?
622
00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:15,935
- Kim Baker.
- KIM: Mmm-hmm.
623
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:22,233
When the Taliban was in power,
624
00:32:22,316 --> 00:32:24,944
they enforced their version of sharia.
625
00:32:25,027 --> 00:32:26,320
One of their edicts was a rule that
626
00:32:26,404 --> 00:32:29,031
all men must shave
the hair of their pubis.
627
00:32:29,157 --> 00:32:32,910
They would walk the streets
carrying a small wooden rod,
628
00:32:32,994 --> 00:32:34,662
a dowel,
629
00:32:34,745 --> 00:32:38,040
which they would roll
along the front of a man's trousers.
630
00:32:38,124 --> 00:32:42,378
If a man's pubic hair was long enough
to curl around the dowel,
631
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,715
they would beat him.
632
00:32:46,883 --> 00:32:47,967
Now, I ask you,
633
00:32:48,968 --> 00:32:51,387
do I look like a man to walk the streets
634
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:54,140
carrying a hair-of-the-pubis dowel?
635
00:32:55,308 --> 00:32:56,893
No, sir, you do not.
636
00:32:58,227 --> 00:33:02,231
I returned to this country to save it.
637
00:33:02,356 --> 00:33:04,609
I am a friend of America.
638
00:33:04,692 --> 00:33:06,152
Which is why you should
let me interview you,
639
00:33:06,235 --> 00:33:08,404
so people can understand that.
640
00:33:08,821 --> 00:33:09,822
(CHUCKLES)
641
00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:11,657
I like you, Kim.
642
00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:13,743
I like your mouthiness.
643
00:33:13,826 --> 00:33:15,536
- That is a word, yes?
-(FAHIM REPLIES IN DARI)
644
00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:19,540
It reminds me of my time
living in London.
645
00:33:19,624 --> 00:33:23,127
You make me feel
like a young man again. (CHUCKLES)
646
00:33:23,961 --> 00:33:25,963
But I do not know you.
647
00:33:27,089 --> 00:33:31,219
How can we
get to know each other, Kim?
648
00:33:33,888 --> 00:33:34,889
Hmm?
649
00:33:38,768 --> 00:33:40,937
Yes, excellent, Kim!
650
00:33:41,479 --> 00:33:43,105
(BOTH LAUGHING)
651
00:33:43,272 --> 00:33:45,733
Put a turban on her,
she'd make a very handsome boy.
652
00:33:45,942 --> 00:33:47,443
(YELLING)
653
00:33:48,611 --> 00:33:51,072
(CHEERFUL CHRISTMAS
SONG PLAYING)
654
00:34:22,311 --> 00:34:24,063
KIM: How are you? You okay there?
655
00:34:24,146 --> 00:34:26,023
(GUNFIRE)
656
00:34:26,107 --> 00:34:27,233
CHRIS: What the hell was that?
657
00:34:27,316 --> 00:34:29,443
It's probably
just a wedding somewhere nearby.
658
00:34:29,527 --> 00:34:31,404
They like to shoot off
guns at weddings here.
659
00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:33,030
You get it, you're from Florida.
660
00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:34,615
CHRIS: Funny.
661
00:34:34,699 --> 00:34:36,075
When was the last time I saw you'?
662
00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:37,577
Since June?
663
00:34:37,660 --> 00:34:40,162
I'm sorry that I didn't get back last month.
664
00:34:40,288 --> 00:34:41,289
(KIM SIGHS)
665
00:34:41,372 --> 00:34:43,207
I can be in New York by Thursday.
666
00:34:43,291 --> 00:34:46,294
I miss you and I want to see you. And I...
667
00:34:46,377 --> 00:34:47,753
Wave...
668
00:34:47,837 --> 00:34:49,797
- MAN: Oh, not again.
-(KIM SIGHS)
669
00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:54,927
NIC: I hate this fucking airport.
670
00:34:55,011 --> 00:34:56,512
KIM: Can I bring you guys
anything from New York?
671
00:34:56,596 --> 00:34:57,597
(PHONE RINGING)
672
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,016
- NIC: Just bring us back a six pack, eh?
-(BOTH LAUGH)
673
00:35:00,725 --> 00:35:02,560
- This is Kim.
- SADIQ: Kim Baker?
674
00:35:02,852 --> 00:35:04,687
It is Sadiq.
675
00:35:05,855 --> 00:35:07,982
Mr. Sadiq, hi.
676
00:35:08,566 --> 00:35:11,485
How about an interview
with Pacha Khan?
677
00:35:11,569 --> 00:35:13,321
Pacha Khan, the warlord?
678
00:35:13,404 --> 00:35:15,072
Pacha Khan is a businessman.
679
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:16,991
Would you like that?
680
00:35:17,074 --> 00:35:20,494
Uh, yeah. Yeah. But I'm on my way
to New York to see my boyfriend.
681
00:35:20,578 --> 00:35:22,872
You will be the first Western journalist
682
00:35:22,955 --> 00:35:25,207
to interview him since the Soviet War.
683
00:35:26,584 --> 00:35:28,419
Shall we say tomorrow?
684
00:35:34,258 --> 00:35:37,178
Okay, yes, of course. Thank you.
685
00:35:39,597 --> 00:35:41,015
- FAHIM: What?
- Back in the car.
686
00:35:43,934 --> 00:35:45,061
FAHIM: Wait here.
687
00:35:49,565 --> 00:35:51,192
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
688
00:35:52,068 --> 00:35:53,527
It's okay, come.
689
00:36:18,469 --> 00:36:19,470
(CONVERSING IN PASHTO)
690
00:36:19,595 --> 00:36:21,097
She is a Muslim?
691
00:36:28,562 --> 00:36:29,730
Yes
692
00:36:31,691 --> 00:36:33,567
Have her pray for me.
693
00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:44,453
She is Turkish.
694
00:36:46,288 --> 00:36:48,833
You wouldn't understand her anyway.
695
00:36:52,128 --> 00:36:53,129
Hmm.
696
00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:58,300
- Okay. Yes.
- Yeah?
697
00:36:58,384 --> 00:36:59,427
TALL BRIAN: Okay.
698
00:37:03,556 --> 00:37:06,058
Pacha Khan, thank you
for your kind hospitality.
699
00:37:06,142 --> 00:37:07,143
(SPEAKING PASHTO)
700
00:37:07,226 --> 00:37:10,604
Put a turban on her and she
would make a handsome boy!
701
00:37:10,688 --> 00:37:11,689
(LAUGHING)
702
00:37:15,484 --> 00:37:16,736
(FAHIM LAUGHING WEAKLY)
703
00:37:22,992 --> 00:37:24,118
What?
704
00:37:25,661 --> 00:37:26,871
No.
705
00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:30,207
Oh, Kim. Cheers.
706
00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:31,584
Hi.
707
00:37:31,667 --> 00:37:32,710
What a rush, yeah?
708
00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:36,756
Pacha Khan, yeah.
It's like, adrenaline. Everyone was...
709
00:37:36,839 --> 00:37:38,215
Good job.
710
00:37:38,299 --> 00:37:39,592
Yeah, it went well.
711
00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:42,762
But, you know, I was... I was in the...
712
00:37:43,053 --> 00:37:44,722
The New Zealand SAS back home.
713
00:37:44,889 --> 00:37:47,308
And today felt like
jumping out of an airplane.
714
00:37:47,725 --> 00:37:50,770
-(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- Or like, you know, like having sex.
715
00:37:55,399 --> 00:37:56,567
IAIN: Kim!
716
00:37:58,068 --> 00:38:00,738
Tanya's got scotch.
It won't last long, so...
717
00:38:01,572 --> 00:38:04,742
Nic, you're welcome, too, you big cunt!
718
00:38:04,867 --> 00:38:08,120
That's a term of affection, by the way.
719
00:38:09,705 --> 00:38:13,876
TANYA: You were supposed to be
in New York, sneaky girl.
720
00:38:14,001 --> 00:38:17,046
Yeah, Chris is not super pleased.
721
00:38:17,129 --> 00:38:19,465
Chris can suck a fat one.
722
00:38:19,548 --> 00:38:20,549
(SCOFFS)
723
00:38:21,592 --> 00:38:23,385
I'm trying to see if they put my story up,
724
00:38:23,469 --> 00:38:25,846
but this Internet connection is the worst!
725
00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:28,015
-(BRAYING)
- Oh, Goddamn it, Jaweed!
726
00:38:28,098 --> 00:38:29,225
Oh, Christ!
727
00:38:29,850 --> 00:38:31,143
- Really?
- TANYA: Wow.
728
00:38:31,227 --> 00:38:32,478
Although, donkeys aside,
729
00:38:32,561 --> 00:38:33,813
-he's a good fixer.
- Mmm.
730
00:38:35,064 --> 00:38:38,442
Oh, no, thanks. Morning shows.
731
00:38:38,567 --> 00:38:41,028
You have something
they want for the mornings?
732
00:38:41,111 --> 00:38:42,446
(KIM MURMURS)
733
00:38:42,530 --> 00:38:45,407
Maybe. I don't know. Maybe.
734
00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:46,659
Hmm.
735
00:38:46,742 --> 00:38:48,410
That's what I'm trying to see.
736
00:38:49,870 --> 00:38:52,998
You know, I heard
that he has contacts in the Tribals.
737
00:38:53,082 --> 00:38:55,876
Like real Taliban contacts.
738
00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:58,045
- Jaweed?
- TANYA: Jaweed.
739
00:38:58,379 --> 00:39:00,881
KIM: No fucking way.
TANYA: Mmm, apparently.
740
00:39:01,090 --> 00:39:03,926
Would you do that?
Would you go down there?
741
00:39:07,930 --> 00:39:10,266
Yeah, sure, if it was the right call.
742
00:39:10,933 --> 00:39:12,768
Yeah, but how do you know
if it's the right call?
743
00:39:16,230 --> 00:39:18,357
Fuck, man, I don't know. (CHUCKLES)
744
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,526
That is why we drink, do drugs
745
00:39:20,609 --> 00:39:23,070
and shag strangers
in restaurant bathrooms.
746
00:39:25,281 --> 00:39:26,699
(KIM GROANING)
747
00:39:41,130 --> 00:39:42,798
(LINE TRILLING)
748
00:39:45,301 --> 00:39:46,468
Kim, are you okay'? What's going on'?
749
00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:48,596
Oh, shoot. Oh, sorry, what time is it?
750
00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:50,264
I don't know. I'm in Seattle.
751
00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:52,391
God, I thought you got shot
at a wedding or something.
752
00:39:52,474 --> 00:39:53,517
- Jesus, Kim!
- No.
753
00:39:53,642 --> 00:39:55,561
Sorry. So, just real quick...
754
00:39:55,644 --> 00:39:56,896
I want you to come visit me.
755
00:39:56,979 --> 00:39:58,188
In Afghanistan'? Really?
756
00:39:58,314 --> 00:39:59,273
I mean, I've got tons of miles.
757
00:39:59,356 --> 00:40:00,357
I could fly you first class.
758
00:40:00,441 --> 00:40:02,610
I have to look at a calendar.
I don't think I can do it this month.
759
00:40:02,693 --> 00:40:03,819
I'm here until, like, at least the 15th.
760
00:40:03,903 --> 00:40:05,029
But when I get back maybe...
761
00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:07,114
- Who is in your bed, Chris?
- What?
762
00:40:08,157 --> 00:40:09,742
(STAMMERING) No, that's my bag.
763
00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:11,994
Look in the mirror, dipshit.
764
00:40:13,913 --> 00:40:16,749
My God. You motherfucker.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable!
765
00:40:16,832 --> 00:40:18,167
You calm the fuck down!
766
00:40:18,250 --> 00:40:20,002
Listen, you haven't
been home in months.
767
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:21,253
You forgot my fucking birthday!
768
00:40:21,337 --> 00:40:22,922
Oh, right, it's my fault.
Great, Chris. You're a genius.
769
00:40:23,005 --> 00:40:25,215
And I kept your stupid
fucking plants alive,
770
00:40:25,299 --> 00:40:27,843
but you let this relationship
wither and die!
771
00:40:28,886 --> 00:40:31,931
Ugh! Did you have that prepared?
772
00:40:32,014 --> 00:40:33,015
- What?
- Pussy!
773
00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:34,391
You know what? Have fun in Seattle.
774
00:40:34,475 --> 00:40:35,601
You should go to the
Rock 'n' Roll Museum.
775
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,019
It sucks. You'll fit right in.
776
00:40:38,354 --> 00:40:39,355
(SIGHS)
777
00:40:44,610 --> 00:40:46,195
(MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
778
00:40:57,706 --> 00:40:59,458
Are you shitting me?
779
00:41:04,338 --> 00:41:05,339
(SIGHS)
780
00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:08,258
Fahim.
781
00:41:08,384 --> 00:41:10,302
Let's apply for another embed.
782
00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:12,554
Because I want to get out of Kabul.
783
00:41:12,638 --> 00:41:15,891
I just need to get out of Kabul.
784
00:41:17,601 --> 00:41:19,812
I need "me time", exactly. That's...
785
00:41:19,895 --> 00:41:21,188
See? I told you that O magazine
786
00:41:21,271 --> 00:41:24,233
would increase your
understanding of women.
787
00:41:28,445 --> 00:41:30,489
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
788
00:41:35,077 --> 00:41:37,538
KIM: Hey, you guys are 3-5, right?
789
00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:39,498
Do you know a Corporal Coughlin?
790
00:41:39,581 --> 00:41:40,582
VIDES: No, ma'am.
791
00:41:40,666 --> 00:41:43,127
Sorry, but I've only been here
for a couple months.
792
00:41:44,003 --> 00:41:47,006
Ma'am, if you set one foot
in front of the other,
793
00:41:47,089 --> 00:41:50,092
there's less chance
you lose both feet if we hit an IED.
794
00:41:54,304 --> 00:41:55,764
MAN: (ON RADIO) Vides, make ready.
795
00:41:55,931 --> 00:41:56,932
(COCKING GUN)
796
00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:04,356
Man, we are definitely losing the war
797
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,608
when it comes to this particular well.
798
00:42:07,109 --> 00:42:08,944
I swear to God,
they blow up another well,
799
00:42:09,028 --> 00:42:10,237
I take another pair of boots off.
800
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,448
It's like fucking musical chairs.
801
00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,076
Hey, do I have to buy a dress
for your wedding?
802
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,413
No. Whatever you wear in Kabul is fine.
803
00:42:20,247 --> 00:42:22,249
- Yeah?
- Yes.
804
00:42:23,292 --> 00:42:26,962
The only thing I ask is that
you make sure my friend is there.
805
00:42:28,881 --> 00:42:30,966
Aw, your friend is me.
806
00:42:31,175 --> 00:42:32,176
(CHUCKLES)
807
00:42:32,634 --> 00:42:34,053
- I get it.
-(CHUCKLES)
808
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:52,654
(WOMAN SPEAKS IN PASHTO)
809
00:43:30,692 --> 00:43:32,778
- Mount up!
- Jesus, Stern!
810
00:43:32,945 --> 00:43:35,781
General, excuse me.
Hey. General, do you have a minute?
811
00:43:35,864 --> 00:43:38,283
- Not now, Baker.
-It's just...
812
00:43:38,951 --> 00:43:41,578
The Taliban haven't been
destroying the well here.
813
00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:44,248
The women of the village
are destroying it.
814
00:43:44,331 --> 00:43:45,958
Or so they tell me.
815
00:43:49,253 --> 00:43:51,505
We dug that well several times
for the women
816
00:43:51,588 --> 00:43:53,298
so they don't have to walk to the river.
817
00:43:53,382 --> 00:43:55,134
But they want to walk to the river.
818
00:43:55,217 --> 00:43:57,761
It's their only chance to be social
819
00:43:57,845 --> 00:44:00,139
and gossip and, you know, hang out.
820
00:44:00,222 --> 00:44:02,933
I think that they have a bunch
of old Soviet landmines,
821
00:44:03,016 --> 00:44:06,145
and they just prop one up
and throw rocks at it.
822
00:44:19,241 --> 00:44:21,618
Kim, did you ever feel like
you're manning that tollgate
823
00:44:21,702 --> 00:44:24,580
and the engineer's yelling,
"I got pig iron, I got pig iron"?
824
00:44:25,497 --> 00:44:28,250
No. I don't know what that means.
But it's very folksy.
825
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:30,502
Also, the women, obviously,
they don't want the men
826
00:44:30,586 --> 00:44:32,171
to know about this, so they are hoping
827
00:44:32,254 --> 00:44:34,840
that you would just refuse
to repair the well this time.
828
00:44:34,923 --> 00:44:35,924
Well, they're in luck.
829
00:44:36,049 --> 00:44:38,385
That's exactly what
I told the mullah, so...
830
00:44:41,096 --> 00:44:42,598
Well done, Baker.
831
00:44:43,557 --> 00:44:44,892
Hooyah, General.
832
00:44:46,185 --> 00:44:48,520
Marines say "Oorah."
833
00:44:48,604 --> 00:44:50,814
The Navy says "Hooyah."
834
00:44:50,898 --> 00:44:52,900
- Don't mix those two up.
- Got it.
835
00:44:53,942 --> 00:44:55,694
Have a good... Have a good ride.
836
00:44:56,528 --> 00:44:58,488
(MAN YELLS INDISTINCTLY)
837
00:45:19,384 --> 00:45:20,427
Kim.
838
00:45:23,388 --> 00:45:24,389
Kim.
839
00:45:28,810 --> 00:45:29,811
Sorry.
840
00:45:37,778 --> 00:45:38,779
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
841
00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:39,905
(MUSIC PLAYING)
842
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,285
- You look beautiful!
- You look beautiful!
843
00:45:45,369 --> 00:45:46,370
Oh, my God.
844
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:53,418
- Oh, my God.
- SHAKIRA: Oh, no!
845
00:45:53,502 --> 00:45:54,836
Kim!
846
00:45:56,672 --> 00:45:57,965
What the dick?
847
00:45:58,048 --> 00:46:00,092
Why did Fahim tell me
I could dress like this?
848
00:46:00,175 --> 00:46:02,678
Well, he didn't want you
to have to go buy something.
849
00:46:02,761 --> 00:46:04,554
Oh, my God. I only washed
the front of my hair.
850
00:46:04,638 --> 00:46:05,681
SHAKIRA: Here. You know what?
851
00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:08,183
I'm going to let you have one of these.
852
00:46:08,267 --> 00:46:09,518
KIM: Thank you.
853
00:46:09,893 --> 00:46:11,186
Now I look great.
854
00:46:11,270 --> 00:46:12,479
TANYA: Now you're ready.
855
00:46:12,562 --> 00:46:13,647
Now I'm ready to party.
856
00:46:13,730 --> 00:46:14,773
Oh, she likes it.
857
00:46:14,856 --> 00:46:15,983
(SHAKIRA LAUGHS)
858
00:46:16,608 --> 00:46:17,693
- Sure.
- SHAKIRA: Oh, wow. Well...
859
00:46:18,026 --> 00:46:20,070
(DARI SONG PLAYING)
860
00:46:36,545 --> 00:46:39,715
It was worse than a unibrow.
It went all the way into his hair.
861
00:46:40,799 --> 00:46:41,967
(TANYA LAUGHS)
We all have some reason
862
00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:43,135
for being here.
863
00:46:43,218 --> 00:46:44,720
What's your reason?
864
00:46:44,803 --> 00:46:45,846
What is yours?
865
00:46:45,929 --> 00:46:47,222
I don't have a good one. I'm just here.
866
00:46:47,306 --> 00:46:49,141
Come on, she just told her unibrow story.
867
00:46:49,224 --> 00:46:50,600
I just... I don't have one.
868
00:46:50,684 --> 00:46:51,768
Come on.
869
00:46:54,062 --> 00:46:57,983
I was at the gym after work
one night. Stationary bike.
870
00:46:58,483 --> 00:47:01,320
Okay? The same bike every day.
871
00:47:01,403 --> 00:47:04,072
And I notice this
872
00:47:04,156 --> 00:47:05,240
indentation in the carpet,
873
00:47:05,324 --> 00:47:06,783
it's, like, a foot in front of my bike.
874
00:47:07,659 --> 00:47:10,912
And I realize that it's from
where my bike used to be.
875
00:47:13,915 --> 00:47:17,502
I have done thousands
of miles on this bike
876
00:47:18,462 --> 00:47:20,589
and I have gone backwards.
877
00:47:20,672 --> 00:47:22,924
I have literally gone backwards.
878
00:47:23,008 --> 00:47:24,217
I just
879
00:47:24,801 --> 00:47:27,929
wanted to blow everything up.
I just wanted out of my job,
880
00:47:28,013 --> 00:47:31,808
writing news scripts for
dumb pretty people to read.
881
00:47:31,892 --> 00:47:33,226
I wanted... (LAUGHS)
882
00:47:34,186 --> 00:47:36,271
...out of having to decide whether
883
00:47:36,355 --> 00:47:39,608
I should just marry
my mildly depressive boyfriend.
884
00:47:39,733 --> 00:47:41,068
And that's it.
885
00:47:42,194 --> 00:47:44,654
I just... I couldn't look at that
886
00:47:44,780 --> 00:47:46,448
fucking carpet anymore.
887
00:47:50,035 --> 00:47:51,745
(INHALES DEEPLY) Oh...
888
00:47:53,705 --> 00:47:56,958
Well, that is officially the most
889
00:47:57,042 --> 00:47:59,252
American white lady
story I've ever heard.
890
00:47:59,336 --> 00:48:01,671
TANYA: (LAUGHING) Shut up.
SHAKIRA: n is.
891
00:48:01,797 --> 00:48:03,048
You know what? Fuck that.
892
00:48:03,131 --> 00:48:07,636
You are a battle-tested
foreign correspondent.
893
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:11,014
You're a solid Kabul 9.5.
894
00:48:11,098 --> 00:48:13,392
And you are fucking single, all right?
895
00:48:13,475 --> 00:48:16,395
So that lady back at the gym, she's dead.
896
00:48:17,229 --> 00:48:18,730
This is your life.
897
00:48:19,689 --> 00:48:21,900
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
898
00:48:23,193 --> 00:48:24,194
(LAUGHS)
899
00:48:34,121 --> 00:48:36,039
(CHEERFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)
900
00:48:42,546 --> 00:48:44,673
KIM: Despite Taliban threats,
election observers
901
00:48:44,756 --> 00:48:46,466
are reporting high voter turnout,
902
00:48:46,550 --> 00:48:47,926
especially in cities.
903
00:48:48,009 --> 00:48:49,928
A British fighter-bomber last week
904
00:48:50,011 --> 00:48:51,888
reduced this compound to rubble.
905
00:48:51,972 --> 00:48:55,016
...not to cooperate.
Oh, God. Christ, there's a...
906
00:48:56,810 --> 00:48:59,271
Bahzo! There's a bahzo here!
907
00:48:59,354 --> 00:49:02,357
The surprise visit from Secretary
of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
908
00:49:02,482 --> 00:49:05,235
Today, Kabul's first
licensed female driver,
909
00:49:05,318 --> 00:49:07,988
Gulbahar Yousofy, hits the road.
910
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,198
-(THUDDING)
-(MEN SHOUTING)
911
00:49:10,532 --> 00:49:13,118
That sucks. That sucks for women.
912
00:49:15,871 --> 00:49:17,038
Thank you.
913
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:21,543
Congratulations on your promotion,
914
00:49:21,626 --> 00:49:23,253
- Mr. Attorney General.
-(CHUCKLES) Thank you.
915
00:49:23,336 --> 00:49:24,880
As I said, we could have
done this over the phone.
916
00:49:24,963 --> 00:49:27,424
I'm just looking for a statement
on sharia in Kandahar.
917
00:49:27,507 --> 00:49:29,384
I understand that you are no longer
918
00:49:29,468 --> 00:49:31,303
with your special friend Chris.
919
00:49:32,888 --> 00:49:33,930
Who told you that?
920
00:49:34,014 --> 00:49:35,515
Very little happens in Afghanistan
921
00:49:35,599 --> 00:49:38,852
that Ali Massoud Sadiq
does not know about.
922
00:49:38,935 --> 00:49:40,020
Very little.
923
00:49:40,562 --> 00:49:41,730
May I show you something?
924
00:49:41,813 --> 00:49:42,898
Of course.
925
00:49:49,362 --> 00:49:50,822
You have a bed in your office.
926
00:49:50,906 --> 00:49:51,990
Yes.
927
00:49:52,824 --> 00:49:54,659
There is a bed here now.
928
00:49:57,496 --> 00:50:01,583
So, no comment
on sharia in Kandahar or...
929
00:50:06,254 --> 00:50:07,672
No comment.
930
00:50:07,756 --> 00:50:10,217
- We are going to ISAF later, yes?
- KIM: I don't know.
931
00:50:10,342 --> 00:50:12,844
Pressers and "right of boom" crap.
Who cares?
932
00:50:12,928 --> 00:50:14,137
We need to enterprise something. Okay?
933
00:50:14,221 --> 00:50:16,264
We need to get out of the bubble.
934
00:50:16,848 --> 00:50:18,225
Oh, that hit the net.
935
00:50:18,683 --> 00:50:20,435
- The what?
- It hit the net.
936
00:50:20,769 --> 00:50:22,771
- The invisible net?
- Yes.
937
00:50:22,854 --> 00:50:24,523
- My point.
-(LAUGHS) Let's go. Bullshit.
938
00:50:24,606 --> 00:50:27,150
You know, Kim, the reason
that your village well story got traction is
939
00:50:27,234 --> 00:50:29,778
because it wasn't a bang-bang,
it was about women's rights.
940
00:50:29,903 --> 00:50:31,655
It was a brilliant piece, that.
941
00:50:31,738 --> 00:50:32,989
Oh, fucking hell. (LAUGHS)
942
00:50:33,073 --> 00:50:34,115
(INDISTINCT)
943
00:50:34,199 --> 00:50:35,367
We should go to Kandahar.
944
00:50:35,450 --> 00:50:36,618
No, too dangerous.
945
00:50:36,701 --> 00:50:38,912
No way. It's a wee bit
fluid down there these days,
946
00:50:38,995 --> 00:50:40,121
security-wise.
947
00:50:40,205 --> 00:50:41,957
Yeah, it might
be a bit much for you, eh, Nic?
948
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,041
You're a bit late to the whole
949
00:50:43,124 --> 00:50:44,709
"Kandahar's gone
to shit" party. You know?
950
00:50:44,793 --> 00:50:46,753
What about the woman thing
where the sharia law is back?
951
00:50:46,836 --> 00:50:48,463
And there was a firebombing
there the other day.
952
00:50:48,547 --> 00:50:49,589
Yeah, I think it's worth the risk.
953
00:50:49,673 --> 00:50:51,383
Iain, that's easy for you to say, mate,
954
00:50:51,466 --> 00:50:54,302
sitting there in your cozzie taking
photos of the fucking garden.
955
00:50:54,386 --> 00:50:56,721
(LAUGHS) Look, Nicky,
I know you've been specially trained
956
00:50:56,805 --> 00:50:59,474
to protect New Zealand from,
what, fucking dolphins?
957
00:50:59,891 --> 00:51:01,935
But I'm not exactly
a war zone virgin, you know?
958
00:51:02,018 --> 00:51:04,646
I was kidnapped by the AIG
when they were still called that.
959
00:51:04,729 --> 00:51:06,147
Why dolphins?
960
00:51:06,982 --> 00:51:08,358
What do dolphins got to do
with New Zealand?
961
00:51:08,441 --> 00:51:09,401
Nothing to do with it. I'm just...
962
00:51:09,484 --> 00:51:10,652
White pointers and sharks,
963
00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:11,778
but the dolphins never hurt anyone.
964
00:51:11,861 --> 00:51:14,281
I know they've not hurt anyone, mate.
I'm just making the point...
965
00:51:14,364 --> 00:51:15,615
I'm not gonna protect my country
966
00:51:15,699 --> 00:51:17,450
from an animal that hasn't hurt anyone.
967
00:51:17,534 --> 00:51:18,702
Oh, Jesus Christ.
968
00:51:18,994 --> 00:51:21,705
Dolphins? What a joke.
969
00:51:21,788 --> 00:51:23,373
I'll come with you
in the car if there's room.
970
00:51:23,456 --> 00:51:25,166
Oh, great, we're all going to Kandahar!
971
00:51:27,586 --> 00:51:30,672
I can make some calls.
We can take my car.
972
00:51:31,006 --> 00:51:33,258
Kim, if we are going to Kandahar,
973
00:51:33,341 --> 00:51:35,760
you will need to buy some new clothes.
974
00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:37,512
KIM: I can't...
975
00:51:39,222 --> 00:51:40,515
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
976
00:51:42,017 --> 00:51:43,685
(MUTTERING)
977
00:51:46,605 --> 00:51:49,691
Ah! It's so pretty,
I don't even want to vote.
978
00:51:52,527 --> 00:51:54,696
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
979
00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:19,763
I'm flipping you the bird
in here right now.
980
00:52:19,846 --> 00:52:20,972
(LAUGHS)
981
00:52:21,056 --> 00:52:22,349
- Is this your car, Fahim?
- FAHIM: Yes.
982
00:52:22,432 --> 00:52:23,808
KIM: This is a fucking piece of shit.
983
00:52:23,892 --> 00:52:25,644
FAHIM: I think it's very nice.
984
00:52:27,604 --> 00:52:29,356
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
985
00:52:30,565 --> 00:52:32,317
KIM: No one is staring at me. It's weird.
986
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,236
You are in the Blue Prison now.
987
00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:10,397
KIM: Fahim, what does the graffiti say?
988
00:53:10,939 --> 00:53:12,982
FAHIM: "No education for woman."
989
00:53:13,066 --> 00:53:14,401
(CAMERA CLICKS)
990
00:53:17,070 --> 00:53:18,780
- Brian.
- Huh?
991
00:53:36,715 --> 00:53:38,466
(MAN YELLING)
992
00:53:40,969 --> 00:53:42,345
Fahim, what's going on up there?
993
00:53:45,473 --> 00:53:46,641
The Taliban used to do this.
994
00:53:47,559 --> 00:53:50,061
Execute the radios and televisions.
995
00:53:50,729 --> 00:53:52,689
(ALL SPEAKING DARI)
996
00:53:54,232 --> 00:53:56,067
TALL BRIAN: Oh, shit!
997
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,862
(ALL SPEAKING DARI)
998
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:01,906
TALL BRIAN: Get out of the way!
999
00:54:01,990 --> 00:54:03,283
Move on! Move on!
1000
00:54:03,366 --> 00:54:05,660
KIM: You guys can't go
out there, but I can.
1001
00:54:07,996 --> 00:54:09,414
(SPEAKING DARI)
1002
00:54:11,791 --> 00:54:13,960
FAHIM: Kim, come back.
NIC: Kim, wait! Come back.
1003
00:54:14,169 --> 00:54:16,129
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)
1004
00:54:29,601 --> 00:54:30,852
(ALL RESPONDING IN DARI)
1005
00:54:33,521 --> 00:54:34,647
(SPEAKING DARI)
1006
00:54:44,073 --> 00:54:46,075
(ALL CLAMORING)
1007
00:54:48,203 --> 00:54:49,412
(SPEAKING DARI)
1008
00:54:56,586 --> 00:54:58,379
FAHIM: Kim, now.
We must hurry. We must hurry.
1009
00:54:59,798 --> 00:55:01,800
(CLAMORING CONTINUES)
1010
00:55:13,978 --> 00:55:15,480
NIC: Get in the car!
1011
00:55:18,233 --> 00:55:19,859
Get out of here!
1012
00:55:22,529 --> 00:55:26,324
That was a men's park, Kim! Men only!
1013
00:55:27,992 --> 00:55:29,160
Fuck!
1014
00:55:31,496 --> 00:55:33,414
Bebakhshid, Fahim.
1015
00:55:40,755 --> 00:55:42,173
CAPT. STERN: ...coalition capacity,
1016
00:55:42,257 --> 00:55:43,800
priorities and support.
1017
00:55:44,133 --> 00:55:48,638
Let's look now at the 12 first-tier
drivers in the current COIN paradigm.
1018
00:55:49,264 --> 00:55:50,265
Shit.
1019
00:55:50,348 --> 00:55:52,183
CAPT. STERN:
Tactical and institutional...
1020
00:55:52,267 --> 00:55:53,518
-(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
-...is always in purple,
1021
00:55:53,601 --> 00:55:54,936
and noting as such...
1022
00:55:55,770 --> 00:55:57,105
Kim
Baker.
1023
00:55:57,188 --> 00:55:58,565
Sir, do you have a minute?
1024
00:55:58,773 --> 00:56:00,525
If I'm understanding this briefing,
1025
00:56:00,608 --> 00:56:02,318
I have all the fucking time in the world.
1026
00:56:02,402 --> 00:56:04,779
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
Well, I'm covering the girls' school
1027
00:56:04,904 --> 00:56:06,197
in Kandahar that was firebombed
1028
00:56:06,281 --> 00:56:09,367
and I'm wondering if you could
give me something, on background,
1029
00:56:09,450 --> 00:56:12,871
just about the security situation here
1030
00:56:12,954 --> 00:56:14,789
and the state of the war in general.
1031
00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:16,374
Yeah, I can give you something.
1032
00:56:16,457 --> 00:56:17,876
This war is like fucking a gorilla.
1033
00:56:17,959 --> 00:56:20,128
You keep going till
the gorilla wants to stop.
1034
00:56:21,212 --> 00:56:23,131
I think I can paraphrase that.
1035
00:56:23,256 --> 00:56:24,591
HOLLANEK: Knock yourself out.
1036
00:56:26,634 --> 00:56:27,719
(FAHIM SIGHS)
1037
00:56:39,147 --> 00:56:44,402
You know, Afghanistan produces
90% of the world's narcotic opiates.
1038
00:56:44,485 --> 00:56:45,904
- So they say.
- FAHIM: Mmm.
1039
00:56:47,030 --> 00:56:49,908
When I worked in the hospital,
1040
00:56:49,991 --> 00:56:52,994
these men, heroin addicts,
1041
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:55,830
would come in with a child.
1042
00:56:55,914 --> 00:56:58,666
They'd say,
"Oh, my son, he broke his arm."
1043
00:56:59,667 --> 00:57:02,211
And while we were tending to the child,
1044
00:57:02,295 --> 00:57:04,505
the men would steal our morphine.
1045
00:57:05,214 --> 00:57:09,385
And we would wonder
how the arm got broken to begin with.
1046
00:57:09,469 --> 00:57:11,638
What are we talking about, Fahim?
1047
00:57:12,972 --> 00:57:13,973
Hmm.
1048
00:57:14,140 --> 00:57:18,269
The human body
produces its own heroin.
1049
00:57:18,353 --> 00:57:20,647
In fact, when the fight-or-flight instinct
1050
00:57:20,730 --> 00:57:22,941
is activated in the hypothalamus,
1051
00:57:23,024 --> 00:57:28,029
your body releases endorphins,
dopamine and norepinephrine.
1052
00:57:29,155 --> 00:57:33,785
That is heroin, cocaine
and amphetamine, all at once.
1053
00:57:33,868 --> 00:57:37,413
Okay, great. Are we having
the Afghan version of this conversation,
1054
00:57:37,497 --> 00:57:38,581
wherein New York we would have
1055
00:57:38,706 --> 00:57:41,167
gotten to the point,
like, five minutes ago?
1056
00:57:44,504 --> 00:57:46,547
There is a reason
to believe that a person
1057
00:57:46,673 --> 00:57:49,175
can get addicted to this type of high.
1058
00:57:50,176 --> 00:57:52,637
Soldiers, athletes...
1059
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,681
War reporters. Got it.
1060
00:57:55,515 --> 00:57:59,477
An addict always needs
a greater and greater dosage.
1061
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:03,439
And then people
make mistakes, people get hurt.
1062
00:58:03,523 --> 00:58:06,442
I get it. You're a newlywed. I can
1063
00:58:06,526 --> 00:58:09,070
probably get them
to go up to $125 a day.
1064
00:58:16,869 --> 00:58:18,538
Let us have the
1065
00:58:19,539 --> 00:58:23,209
American version of this conversation.
1066
00:58:23,584 --> 00:58:24,711
KIM: Okay.
1067
00:58:26,421 --> 00:58:29,298
I do not want to work with you anymore.
1068
00:58:29,382 --> 00:58:31,634
No, okay, wait.
Fahim, I know I fucked up.
1069
00:58:31,718 --> 00:58:34,178
I do not think you do.
1070
00:58:34,262 --> 00:58:36,431
- Hear me out.
- Kim, no.
1071
00:58:37,098 --> 00:58:41,894
I am now married.
I want to have children.
1072
00:58:41,978 --> 00:58:43,980
It will not happen again. It's not gonna...
1073
00:58:44,063 --> 00:58:49,068
"I ride after a deer
and find myself chased by a hog.
1074
00:58:49,777 --> 00:58:51,487
"I plot to get what I want
1075
00:58:52,530 --> 00:58:54,323
"and I end up in prison.
1076
00:58:54,407 --> 00:58:57,910
"I dig pits to trap others and I fall in.
1077
00:58:58,786 --> 00:59:01,414
"I should be suspicious of what I want."
1078
00:59:02,957 --> 00:59:04,959
I don't know what that means.
1079
00:59:09,255 --> 00:59:10,590
You do.
1080
00:59:17,764 --> 00:59:18,765
Fahim?
1081
00:59:24,729 --> 00:59:25,938
(SIGHS)
1082
00:59:34,197 --> 00:59:35,239
(SIGHS)
1083
00:59:40,620 --> 00:59:42,497
(RESUMES TYPING)
1084
00:59:53,216 --> 00:59:55,009
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
1085
00:59:58,346 --> 00:59:59,347
(CHUCKLES)
1086
01:00:02,016 --> 01:00:03,643
KIM: I can't breathe in here.
1087
01:00:04,602 --> 01:00:05,978
Time to take a walk.
1088
01:00:06,479 --> 01:00:08,147
I have to go outside.
1089
01:00:08,856 --> 01:00:10,817
I have to go home.
1090
01:00:15,238 --> 01:00:16,239
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)
1091
01:00:16,364 --> 01:00:19,075
Put on your headscarf
1092
01:00:27,875 --> 01:00:29,961
(PEOPLE YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
1093
01:00:35,925 --> 01:00:37,135
Shit.
1094
01:00:37,218 --> 01:00:38,553
It's the wrong house.
1095
01:00:41,889 --> 01:00:43,224
(DISTANT GUNFIRE)
1096
01:00:43,850 --> 01:00:45,184
Oh, shit.
1097
01:00:46,227 --> 01:00:47,770
(BABY WAILING)
1098
01:00:56,195 --> 01:00:57,947
(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
1099
01:01:08,583 --> 01:01:10,501
IAIN: Kim?
1100
01:01:10,585 --> 01:01:12,336
What the hell are you doing?
1101
01:01:14,589 --> 01:01:15,715
(SIGHING)
1102
01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:17,592
Here.
1103
01:01:17,675 --> 01:01:21,679
Kim, sip that. Okay? You all right?
1104
01:01:22,972 --> 01:01:25,766
Keep sipping that.
You're all right. It's okay.
1105
01:01:25,850 --> 01:01:27,185
It's okay. Hey.
1106
01:01:28,144 --> 01:01:29,312
- Hey, it's all right.
-(SIGHS)
1107
01:01:29,395 --> 01:01:32,440
Oi. Now, that there was a bit of fun.
1108
01:01:32,565 --> 01:01:33,858
- Are you mental?
- Okay, mate...
1109
01:01:33,941 --> 01:01:35,359
I'm not your mate.
I'm gonna ask you again,
1110
01:01:35,443 --> 01:01:36,485
are you fucking mental?
1111
01:01:36,569 --> 01:01:39,822
- Come on, lain, it's not his fault.
- What's your job again? Hmm?
1112
01:01:39,906 --> 01:01:41,449
Because if I hadn't
come back to see you lot
1113
01:01:41,532 --> 01:01:42,658
because I stole a bottle of sake
1114
01:01:42,742 --> 01:01:43,784
from a Japanese travel writer...
1115
01:01:43,910 --> 01:01:44,952
Wait, you have sake?
1116
01:01:45,036 --> 01:01:46,495
...you could've killed her, "mate!"
1117
01:01:46,579 --> 01:01:48,164
- Oh, fuck off.
-(GRUNTS)
1118
01:01:49,373 --> 01:01:51,959
Jesus! What the fuck? (G ROANS)
1119
01:01:52,293 --> 01:01:53,794
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Dude, what the fuck?
1120
01:01:54,045 --> 01:01:56,047
Did you fucking sucker punch me?
1121
01:01:56,130 --> 01:01:57,548
You broke my nose.
1122
01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,259
- You fucking American?
- Are you a Yank?
1123
01:02:00,343 --> 01:02:02,261
- I'm Canadian, you asshole.
- Ugh.
1124
01:02:02,803 --> 01:02:04,347
I almost fucked a Canadian?
1125
01:02:04,430 --> 01:02:07,308
I'd stay down if I were you, ya wee cunt.
1126
01:02:07,433 --> 01:02:09,518
And that's not a term of affection.
1127
01:02:10,645 --> 01:02:11,979
Fuck that.
1128
01:02:13,105 --> 01:02:15,441
(BREATHES SHARPLY)
1129
01:02:20,071 --> 01:02:21,489
(BOTH MOANING)
1130
01:02:22,782 --> 01:02:24,909
Oh, God! Mmm.
1131
01:02:26,827 --> 01:02:28,204
-(GRUNTS)
- KIM: Ow!
1132
01:02:28,454 --> 01:02:29,538
- Wait.
- Oh, fuck.
1133
01:02:29,622 --> 01:02:33,292
Iain, don't carry me around.
I'm not a fucking baby.
1134
01:02:33,751 --> 01:02:36,254
-LAIN: Ah!
- Goddamn it.
1135
01:02:36,337 --> 01:02:38,005
What the fuck are you doing?
1136
01:02:38,256 --> 01:02:39,257
(MOANING)
1137
01:02:43,135 --> 01:02:45,221
- Take it off.
-lAIN: I'm fucking trying to take it off!
1138
01:02:45,304 --> 01:02:47,515
Oh, God, I'm gonna put it
in you so fucking hard,
1139
01:02:47,598 --> 01:02:48,933
-you're gonna fucking get it.
- Shh. Don't talk.
1140
01:02:49,016 --> 01:02:50,101
IAIN: I want everything in your mouth.
1141
01:02:50,184 --> 01:02:51,227
Iain, just shut it.
1142
01:02:51,310 --> 01:02:53,938
I'll take you lying down, come on.
1143
01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:56,732
Do you have one of those
weird little penises?
1144
01:02:56,816 --> 01:02:58,943
IAIN: No! This is how I want to go.
1145
01:02:59,026 --> 01:03:01,070
KIM: No, I don't want to see myself.
1146
01:03:01,195 --> 01:03:02,697
Roll off!
1147
01:03:02,822 --> 01:03:04,824
IAIN: Okay, fuck it.
1148
01:03:05,658 --> 01:03:06,659
(MOANING)
1149
01:03:06,909 --> 01:03:09,537
Oh, God, I fucking...
1150
01:03:09,620 --> 01:03:10,663
What are you doing?
1151
01:03:10,746 --> 01:03:13,165
I'm just putting my fucking
finger in your mouth.
1152
01:03:13,249 --> 01:03:14,250
KIM: Shh. No!
1153
01:03:14,333 --> 01:03:15,376
Come on, just put
everything in your mouth.
1154
01:03:15,543 --> 01:03:16,585
(KIM GAGS)
1155
01:03:17,837 --> 01:03:19,130
Do you want me to go?
1156
01:03:19,213 --> 01:03:20,506
No.
1157
01:03:22,216 --> 01:03:23,467
-(THUDDING)
-(lAIN GROANS)
1158
01:03:23,884 --> 01:03:25,261
(IAIN BRUSHING TEETH)
1159
01:03:35,229 --> 01:03:36,939
There's aught like a good shag.
1160
01:03:37,273 --> 01:03:39,442
Okay, let's try to be adults here.
1161
01:03:39,608 --> 01:03:41,110
I think we were.
1162
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:44,238
Obviously this was just
a Kabubble thing, right?
1163
01:03:44,322 --> 01:03:45,364
Just a
1164
01:03:46,073 --> 01:03:49,327
fun mistake where one
of us had an orgasm.
1165
01:03:50,036 --> 01:03:52,872
I mean, we're both in a really bad place.
And then you
1166
01:03:53,205 --> 01:03:55,374
punched Nic.
1167
01:03:55,833 --> 01:03:57,543
I don't know. It's endorphins, right?
1168
01:03:59,045 --> 01:04:00,504
Nope, that's not what this is.
1169
01:04:00,588 --> 01:04:02,298
No, you don't need to be gallant.
1170
01:04:02,381 --> 01:04:04,133
I'm serious.
1171
01:04:05,134 --> 01:04:08,304
I fancy you, Kim Baker.
1172
01:04:09,055 --> 01:04:10,222
I do.
1173
01:04:10,806 --> 01:04:14,393
Of all the dozens of women
in this country, I chose you.
1174
01:04:14,477 --> 01:04:16,270
No, you didn't, because this is not me.
1175
01:04:16,354 --> 01:04:17,438
I would never do this.
1176
01:04:17,563 --> 01:04:20,107
Precisely. Because
you're not you anymore.
1177
01:04:20,191 --> 01:04:22,151
You're in the Kabubble.
You said so yourself.
1178
01:04:22,234 --> 01:04:24,570
-(SIGHS)
- Don't fucking hide.
1179
01:04:25,905 --> 01:04:28,407
Kim, you know the frog
in the pot of water?
1180
01:04:28,491 --> 01:04:31,619
You raise the temperature bit by bit,
1181
01:04:31,702 --> 01:04:33,329
the frog doesn't notice?
1182
01:04:34,413 --> 01:04:35,790
That's what this place
1183
01:04:35,873 --> 01:04:37,833
and that's what this job does to all of us.
1184
01:04:37,917 --> 01:04:41,420
It changes your perception
of what's normal until...
1185
01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:45,007
...until here we are.
1186
01:04:46,509 --> 01:04:47,885
You know the frog boils to death
1187
01:04:47,968 --> 01:04:49,553
-at the end of that, right?
- Nope.
1188
01:04:49,637 --> 01:04:50,846
- Yeah.
- Nope.
1189
01:04:54,767 --> 01:04:56,060
(IAIN SIGHS)
1190
01:04:57,978 --> 01:04:59,980
Is that my toothbrush?
1191
01:05:00,398 --> 01:05:01,399
Ugh!
1192
01:05:02,691 --> 01:05:05,111
KIM: What's going on
with my Kandahar piece, Ed?
1193
01:05:05,194 --> 01:05:06,695
ED". Jerry killed it.
1194
01:05:06,779 --> 01:05:07,780
Wait, who killed it?
1195
01:05:07,863 --> 01:05:10,366
Jerry Taub, head of the network, Kim.
1196
01:05:10,449 --> 01:05:12,201
- What happened to Angela?
- She left.
1197
01:05:12,284 --> 01:05:15,538
She's running a website
for women or something.
1198
01:05:15,621 --> 01:05:19,375
Look, I can't sell
Afghanistan in Monday meetings.
1199
01:05:19,458 --> 01:05:22,795
Your war's got chronic
same-shit-different-day-itis.
1200
01:05:22,878 --> 01:05:25,214
Great. What am I even doing here, Ed?
1201
01:05:25,297 --> 01:05:28,551
I wouldn't ask that too loudly, Kim.
1202
01:05:28,634 --> 01:05:32,221
Though I'd be thrilled to have
you back at your old desk.
1203
01:05:38,060 --> 01:05:39,562
That's all I got.
1204
01:05:43,023 --> 01:05:46,402
Hey, I heard that Nic quit
and you fucked lain!
1205
01:05:46,485 --> 01:05:47,528
KIM: Whoa, hold on.
1206
01:05:47,611 --> 01:05:49,864
Listen, the lain thing is not a thing, okay?
1207
01:05:49,947 --> 01:05:52,074
We have the same size hands. I can't.
1208
01:05:52,158 --> 01:05:54,785
It's just work has been a little frustrating.
1209
01:05:54,869 --> 01:05:55,911
Yeah. I get it.
1210
01:05:55,995 --> 01:05:57,746
Because Afghanistan
doesn't rate anymore.
1211
01:05:57,830 --> 01:05:59,248
That is bullshit.
1212
01:05:59,331 --> 01:06:00,916
You've got to find
your own luck here, babe,
1213
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:02,251
you know that.
1214
01:06:05,254 --> 01:06:06,464
What?
1215
01:06:07,715 --> 01:06:09,175
What? What is that?
1216
01:06:09,258 --> 01:06:11,635
Hey! You're hooking up
Tanya in the Tribals?
1217
01:06:11,719 --> 01:06:13,137
What the fuck, Jaweed?
1218
01:06:13,220 --> 01:06:14,889
Her network will pay me triple.
1219
01:06:15,014 --> 01:06:16,849
I taught you how to clear
your Internet history, okay?
1220
01:06:16,932 --> 01:06:18,517
What has Vanderpoel ever done for you?
1221
01:06:18,601 --> 01:06:19,977
Give me a break, man.
1222
01:06:20,060 --> 01:06:22,188
Whatever. You owe me.
What else do you have?
1223
01:06:22,271 --> 01:06:23,355
You're Ghilzai, right?
1224
01:06:23,439 --> 01:06:24,857
Do you have any other connections
1225
01:06:24,940 --> 01:06:26,275
to members of the Ghilzai family?
1226
01:06:26,358 --> 01:06:27,985
- You mean Hekmatyar?
- Maybe.
1227
01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:30,362
Are you fucking crazy, Kim? Please.
1228
01:06:30,446 --> 01:06:31,864
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
1229
01:06:31,947 --> 01:06:33,657
Hey! Nabil! Hey.
1230
01:06:33,741 --> 01:06:35,576
Are you still in touch with that ISI guy
1231
01:06:35,659 --> 01:06:38,287
who says he knows
who killed Abdul Haq?
1232
01:06:38,370 --> 01:06:41,081
That guy? (SCOFFS)
He's dead two years.
1233
01:06:41,165 --> 01:06:42,291
(GRUNTS ANGPALY)
1234
01:06:43,125 --> 01:06:44,877
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
1235
01:06:47,838 --> 01:06:49,423
(CHEERING)
1236
01:06:54,637 --> 01:06:55,763
Hey.
1237
01:07:01,769 --> 01:07:02,937
(GRUNTS)
1238
01:07:04,772 --> 01:07:06,190
-(lAIN BRUSHING TEETH)
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
1239
01:07:06,273 --> 01:07:07,608
Mrs. MacKelpie.
1240
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:10,528
(LAUGHS)
1241
01:07:12,112 --> 01:07:13,197
Twice?
1242
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,240
IAIN: Two and a half, actually.
1243
01:07:14,323 --> 01:07:15,324
KIM: Ugh!
1244
01:07:15,950 --> 01:07:18,452
I don't remember
what happened last night.
1245
01:07:18,577 --> 01:07:20,871
Kabulhappened,
my wee froggy in the pot.
1246
01:07:20,955 --> 01:07:23,499
Did I not wear a headscarf?
Where's my phone?
1247
01:07:23,582 --> 01:07:24,667
I believe I threw your mobile
in my cupboard.
1248
01:07:24,750 --> 01:07:25,834
Why?
1249
01:07:25,918 --> 01:07:28,170
Because mid-coitus
you tried to call Tanya
1250
01:07:28,295 --> 01:07:30,339
about some bloody wild goose chase
in the Tribals.
1251
01:07:30,422 --> 01:07:31,715
I told you about that?
1252
01:07:31,799 --> 01:07:32,883
Mmm. Well, it was hard
to understand you
1253
01:07:32,967 --> 01:07:35,594
once you asked me
to stuff your knickers in your mouth.
1254
01:07:37,054 --> 01:07:38,806
I'm joking, Kim. That didn't happen.
1255
01:07:38,973 --> 01:07:40,766
(SIGHS) Fuck. I am...
1256
01:07:40,849 --> 01:07:42,685
I am fucking losing it.
1257
01:07:43,269 --> 01:07:44,728
I need a win.
1258
01:07:44,812 --> 01:07:45,896
Christ, if you're that hard up,
1259
01:07:45,980 --> 01:07:47,731
I'll share my Badakhshan thing with you.
1260
01:07:47,815 --> 01:07:49,191
What Badakhshan thing?
1261
01:07:49,275 --> 01:07:51,860
You know China won the contract
to mine for gold up there.
1262
01:07:51,944 --> 01:07:54,446
They built roads, airport,
housing, all that.
1263
01:07:54,530 --> 01:07:56,574
Well, guess whose responsibility it is
1264
01:07:56,657 --> 01:07:58,576
to protect the investment of Red China
1265
01:07:58,659 --> 01:08:00,536
in this restive nation?
1266
01:08:01,036 --> 01:08:04,665
American troops, Chinese gold.
Oh, lain, that's really good.
1267
01:08:04,790 --> 01:08:05,958
People are gonna get mad.
1268
01:08:06,041 --> 01:08:07,876
Just waiting for my guy
to give me the green light.
1269
01:08:08,002 --> 01:08:10,421
You pay for the trip,
I'll share the story with you. Easy peasy.
1270
01:08:10,504 --> 01:08:13,215
Really? Thank you. That's...
1271
01:08:14,174 --> 01:08:15,259
I owe you one.
1272
01:08:15,342 --> 01:08:18,178
Well, how about a half of one?
1273
01:08:18,262 --> 01:08:19,555
And then we can make it an even three.
1274
01:08:19,638 --> 01:08:21,765
Yeah. Or I could buy you breakfast.
1275
01:08:22,725 --> 01:08:25,060
Or a half of one
and we can make it an even three.
1276
01:08:25,144 --> 01:08:28,105
I think breakfast
is of equal monetary value.
1277
01:08:28,188 --> 01:08:30,107
My middle name is Eoghan.
1278
01:08:30,190 --> 01:08:32,276
Which is Erse... Shut up.
1279
01:08:32,359 --> 01:08:33,944
It's Erse for Owen.
1280
01:08:34,194 --> 01:08:35,446
-"Oo-hee"?
- Mmm-hmm.
1281
01:08:35,529 --> 01:08:37,448
-Iain "Oo-hee."
- Don't bother.
1282
01:08:37,531 --> 01:08:38,782
Where is Bin Laden?
1283
01:08:38,866 --> 01:08:39,908
People think he's in Pakistan, right?
1284
01:08:39,992 --> 01:08:40,993
Yeah.
1285
01:08:41,076 --> 01:08:42,786
You've got egg in your beard. Hang on.
1286
01:08:42,870 --> 01:08:43,954
Thank you.
1287
01:08:44,038 --> 01:08:46,749
Your national animal is the unicorn.
1288
01:08:46,832 --> 01:08:47,833
I think it's romantic.
1289
01:08:47,916 --> 01:08:49,918
That is the national animal
of the kingdom I ruled
1290
01:08:50,002 --> 01:08:51,086
-when I was eight.
-(CHUCKLES)
1291
01:08:51,170 --> 01:08:53,172
Who's your favorite Three Stooge?
1292
01:08:53,714 --> 01:08:57,718
Um, Larry. Because he's put upon
in a way that I identify with.
1293
01:08:57,801 --> 01:09:00,262
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
- He's the Art Garfunkel, right?
1294
01:09:00,346 --> 01:09:01,722
Yeah.
1295
01:09:01,805 --> 01:09:04,808
So, I thought I might
like to hang out with you for a bit.
1296
01:09:04,892 --> 01:09:06,477
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
1297
01:09:07,478 --> 01:09:08,979
Do you really want to
know what I want to do?
1298
01:09:09,063 --> 01:09:10,022
Yeah. Okay.
1299
01:09:10,105 --> 01:09:11,440
I'd like to kiss you.
1300
01:09:14,902 --> 01:09:16,070
Who knew?
1301
01:09:17,029 --> 01:09:18,739
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1302
01:09:20,407 --> 01:09:21,617
IAIN: Here's my little man.
1303
01:09:21,700 --> 01:09:23,827
No, lain, don't. It's a scam.
1304
01:09:23,911 --> 01:09:26,163
Do you think so? Really?
1305
01:09:26,246 --> 01:09:28,832
I know it's a scam, Kim. So what?
1306
01:09:28,916 --> 01:09:30,959
He's still begging in the street.
Hey, Abrahaim.
1307
01:09:31,752 --> 01:09:33,253
There's my boy.
1308
01:09:44,014 --> 01:09:45,766
I knew I'd win you over.
1309
01:09:46,475 --> 01:09:47,851
(WOMAN YELLING)
1310
01:09:49,478 --> 01:09:50,729
(SPEAKS D AR“
1311
01:09:51,397 --> 01:09:52,523
Jesus).!
1312
01:09:59,697 --> 01:10:02,616
TANYA: What the fuck, Jaweed?
Are they coming or not?
1313
01:10:03,283 --> 01:10:04,326
Here they are.
1314
01:10:10,082 --> 01:10:11,208
DRONE PILOT: (ON RADIO)
There they are.
1315
01:10:11,291 --> 01:10:15,129
4-6800, line six north.
1316
01:10:19,967 --> 01:10:21,301
Standing by approval.
1317
01:10:21,552 --> 01:10:23,137
We are clear to engage target.
1318
01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:25,305
Roger. Clear to engage target.
1319
01:10:33,188 --> 01:10:34,773
It is him. That's my guy.
1320
01:10:35,649 --> 01:10:37,317
ANDY: If we go anywhere,
Jaweed, we take our vehicle.
1321
01:10:37,401 --> 01:10:38,527
No carpooling.
1322
01:10:38,610 --> 01:10:39,778
JAWEED: All right. Okay.
1323
01:10:46,243 --> 01:10:47,953
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
1324
01:10:48,036 --> 01:10:49,872
Shit! Shit!
1325
01:10:50,789 --> 01:10:51,999
AN DY: Stay calm.
1326
01:10:52,291 --> 01:10:53,584
(INDISTINCT YELLING CONTINUES)
1327
01:10:53,751 --> 01:10:54,752
(YELLS IN DARI)
1328
01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:58,172
(SCREAMING)
1329
01:10:59,465 --> 01:11:00,466
Splash.
1330
01:11:00,549 --> 01:11:01,925
Cease laser. Safe laser.
1331
01:11:02,009 --> 01:11:03,677
DRONE SENSOR: Laser off. Laser safe.
1332
01:11:03,761 --> 01:11:05,304
(ANDY SCREAMING)
1333
01:11:07,723 --> 01:11:09,391
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
1334
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,653
(SIREN WAILING)
1335
01:11:23,906 --> 01:11:25,240
(MONITORS BEEPING)
1336
01:11:26,241 --> 01:11:27,534
(DOOR OPENING)
1337
01:11:27,618 --> 01:11:29,953
I'm looking for someone. Excuse me.
1338
01:11:37,377 --> 01:11:39,213
- Oh, my God. Tanya.
- Hi.
1339
01:11:39,296 --> 01:11:40,672
- Jesus.
1340
01:11:42,299 --> 01:11:44,176
Jaweed's dead.
1341
01:11:44,301 --> 01:11:45,677
Andy's in surgery.
1342
01:11:45,761 --> 01:11:47,095
I know. lain talked to Colin.
1343
01:11:47,221 --> 01:11:48,597
Jesus).!
1344
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:50,057
I know. It's fucked.
1345
01:11:52,476 --> 01:11:54,394
You know, Colin was rolling.
1346
01:11:55,813 --> 01:11:58,148
What, like, rolling-rolling?
You have tape?
1347
01:11:58,232 --> 01:12:00,400
He got the whole fucking thing.
1348
01:12:00,484 --> 01:12:03,320
I'm going to go live with it
as soon as they let me out of here.
1349
01:12:03,695 --> 01:12:04,696
(SIGHS)
1350
01:12:04,905 --> 01:12:07,157
Can you fucking believe it?
1351
01:12:07,491 --> 01:12:08,992
-(GASPS)
-lAIN: Hey.
1352
01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:10,327
TANYA: Hi.
1353
01:12:10,744 --> 01:12:11,787
Aye.
1354
01:12:12,913 --> 01:12:14,289
- How are you?
-lAIN: You doing all right?
1355
01:12:14,623 --> 01:12:15,958
-(INDISTINCT YELLING)
-(EXPLODING)
1356
01:12:16,083 --> 01:12:17,751
TALL BRIAN: Holy shit!
1357
01:12:17,835 --> 01:12:19,920
And as we watch it
again there, Susanna,
1358
01:12:20,045 --> 01:12:23,590
you can actually see the Hellfire
missile right before it detonates.
1359
01:12:23,757 --> 01:12:25,592
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
-(WOMAN MOANING)
1360
01:12:28,178 --> 01:12:29,680
What is going on with Badakhshan?
1361
01:12:29,763 --> 01:12:32,015
Ah, snow's killing us.
1362
01:12:32,099 --> 01:12:33,267
So unless your network wants
1363
01:12:33,350 --> 01:12:34,935
to stump up the money for the helicopter,
1364
01:12:35,018 --> 01:12:37,396
we'll have to wait
till they clear the passes.
1365
01:12:37,479 --> 01:12:39,022
Kim, we have a bit of a situation outside.
1366
01:12:39,106 --> 01:12:40,107
Oh.
1367
01:12:40,607 --> 01:12:41,775
What?
1368
01:12:41,859 --> 01:12:43,569
TERRY: I just need you
to see something.
1369
01:12:43,694 --> 01:12:45,112
Sorry to interrupt.
1370
01:12:45,195 --> 01:12:46,363
KIM: Did he say what he wanted?
1371
01:12:46,446 --> 01:12:47,614
TERRY: I don't know.
1372
01:12:49,867 --> 01:12:50,868
(INAUDIBLE)
1373
01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:53,370
Fuck.
1374
01:12:53,495 --> 01:12:55,914
(BOTH ARGUING IN DARI)
1375
01:12:57,916 --> 01:13:00,043
Qadar. Qadar, it's okay. You can go in.
1376
01:13:00,127 --> 01:13:01,461
He just wants to talk to me.
1377
01:13:01,587 --> 01:13:03,297
- Okay. Okay.
-It's okay.
1378
01:13:03,630 --> 01:13:05,883
Oh, please, do not cover
your hair on my account.
1379
01:13:05,966 --> 01:13:07,301
It's such beautiful hair.
1380
01:13:07,384 --> 01:13:09,595
It's like the hide of a fine horse.
1381
01:13:09,678 --> 01:13:12,139
Sadiq, what are you doing here?
1382
01:13:13,473 --> 01:13:16,894
I was just going home
from closing a woman brothel
1383
01:13:16,977 --> 01:13:19,062
when I told my driver,
1384
01:13:19,146 --> 01:13:23,525
"Mahboobullah, this is
where my best friend Kimberly lives!"
1385
01:13:23,609 --> 01:13:26,987
But she has been a bad friend lately.
1386
01:13:28,155 --> 01:13:29,823
She does not call.
1387
01:13:30,574 --> 01:13:33,243
She does not invite me to her party.
1388
01:13:33,577 --> 01:13:34,786
I'm sorry,
1389
01:13:34,870 --> 01:13:37,080
but I didn't think the Attorney General
1390
01:13:37,164 --> 01:13:39,374
of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan
1391
01:13:39,499 --> 01:13:40,709
went to parties at guesthouses.
1392
01:13:40,792 --> 01:13:42,502
And why not?
1393
01:13:42,586 --> 01:13:44,671
I am still a man, no?
1394
01:13:44,755 --> 01:13:46,673
I love music.
1395
01:13:46,757 --> 01:13:49,176
I love to dance! (EXCLAIMS)
1396
01:13:51,845 --> 01:13:53,513
(VOCALIZING)
1397
01:13:59,603 --> 01:14:00,604
But
1398
01:14:01,688 --> 01:14:04,191
even though you have been a bad friend,
1399
01:14:05,192 --> 01:14:06,777
I want you to be happy.
1400
01:14:08,695 --> 01:14:10,572
Do you have a special friend?
1401
01:14:11,698 --> 01:14:13,033
Because
1402
01:14:14,952 --> 01:14:17,704
I would love to be your special friend.
1403
01:14:19,289 --> 01:14:20,791
Would you like that, Kim?
1404
01:14:23,794 --> 01:14:25,170
You're a bad friend.
1405
01:14:26,046 --> 01:14:28,131
You are a bad friend.
1406
01:14:28,215 --> 01:14:32,135
In America, I would get
a book deal out of this shit!
1407
01:14:32,219 --> 01:14:34,304
You can't just do this, okay?
1408
01:14:34,388 --> 01:14:36,556
I haven't been on the air in months!
1409
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:40,394
My best friend here almost died,
and I am jealous of her!
1410
01:14:40,811 --> 01:14:42,312
And I am just...
1411
01:14:43,063 --> 01:14:45,732
Fuck this! All of it!
1412
01:14:58,745 --> 01:15:00,205
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
1413
01:15:00,789 --> 01:15:02,332
(ALL SINGING ALONG)
1414
01:15:03,291 --> 01:15:04,292
(EXPLOSION)
1415
01:15:04,418 --> 01:15:05,419
(MUSIC STOPS)
1416
01:15:08,588 --> 01:15:09,840
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1417
01:15:09,923 --> 01:15:11,425
That was a bomb.
1418
01:15:11,633 --> 01:15:12,634
(CLAMORING)
1419
01:15:13,260 --> 01:15:14,511
KIM: Hello! So, wait!
1420
01:15:14,594 --> 01:15:17,055
- Who is fronting the show?
-(WAILING)
1421
01:15:17,139 --> 01:15:18,974
Tucker? No, I don't know who that is.
1422
01:15:19,057 --> 01:15:22,352
Okay, well, I could go live
for the overnights, but this is...
1423
01:15:22,436 --> 01:15:25,689
"Satellite time?"
No, I have a dedicated feed.
1424
01:15:27,024 --> 01:15:28,442
Since when?
1425
01:15:28,608 --> 01:15:29,609
(ON PHONE) This is Tucker Wang.
1426
01:15:29,735 --> 01:15:30,861
This is Kim Baker.
1427
01:15:30,944 --> 01:15:33,447
Why am I being told that
I don't have a sat hookup?
1428
01:15:33,613 --> 01:15:35,449
TUCKER: Because you're on
the hourly plan now.
1429
01:15:35,574 --> 01:15:37,117
And either way, the show is full tonight.
1430
01:15:37,242 --> 01:15:38,452
No. Who is your boss?
1431
01:15:38,535 --> 01:15:40,912
I want to talk to this
Jerry whatever, Taub.
1432
01:15:41,079 --> 01:15:43,623
Okay, look, Jerry has
mentioned Afghanistan to me once,
1433
01:15:43,707 --> 01:15:45,542
and mentioned it to know why
the only good story to come
1434
01:15:45,625 --> 01:15:47,335
out of there in a year
was on another network.
1435
01:15:47,419 --> 01:15:49,713
What, Tanya's thing?
No, I've got shit like that.
1436
01:15:49,796 --> 01:15:51,506
I'm waiting for the snow to melt!
1437
01:15:51,590 --> 01:15:53,050
I want to talk to Jerry.
1438
01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:54,718
TUCKER: If I could just get
you to get me a story
1439
01:15:54,801 --> 01:15:56,386
that somebody would care about,
1440
01:15:56,470 --> 01:15:58,055
it would be fine. But meanwhile...
1441
01:15:58,138 --> 01:15:59,097
Okay, what if I come to New York
1442
01:15:59,181 --> 01:16:01,224
and I burst into Jerry's office?
How about that?
1443
01:16:01,308 --> 01:16:03,060
Well, that might look
like I hadn't done my job.
1444
01:16:03,143 --> 01:16:05,020
Perfect. See you Wednesday.
1445
01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:06,104
Cunt.
1446
01:16:10,067 --> 01:16:11,943
-LAIN: Kim.
-(DOGS WHINING)
1447
01:16:13,070 --> 01:16:14,988
Kim, look at these dogs.
1448
01:16:16,239 --> 01:16:17,866
How does this end?
1449
01:16:17,949 --> 01:16:19,951
A bucket of cold water, I suppose.
1450
01:16:23,663 --> 01:16:24,664
No.
1451
01:16:24,748 --> 01:16:26,249
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
1452
01:16:28,168 --> 01:16:29,669
How does this
1453
01:16:30,921 --> 01:16:32,172
end? (SIGHS)
1454
01:16:34,508 --> 01:16:37,677
Uh, I don't really know, Kim.
1455
01:16:38,512 --> 01:16:42,265
We grow old together?
Get a cottage in the country?
1456
01:16:42,349 --> 01:16:44,017
Raise chickens? (CHUCKLES)
1457
01:16:44,101 --> 01:16:45,727
Eat scrambled eggs off each other?
1458
01:16:45,852 --> 01:16:48,855
Look, we're good, aren't we?
We'll always have Kabul.
1459
01:16:48,939 --> 01:16:50,607
No, we won't. We won't "always have" it
1460
01:16:50,690 --> 01:16:51,900
because I have to go home.
1461
01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:53,610
No, this is home.
1462
01:16:53,693 --> 01:16:57,197
I have to go to
New York City and justify my life
1463
01:16:57,280 --> 01:16:59,282
to somebody named Jerry
1464
01:16:59,366 --> 01:17:01,701
before he takes it all away, and I
1465
01:17:03,453 --> 01:17:07,791
cannot go back to sitting
at a goddamn desk. I can't.
1466
01:17:08,125 --> 01:17:09,960
Aye. Listen...
1467
01:17:10,043 --> 01:17:12,295
No one can take it away from you.
1468
01:17:12,379 --> 01:17:13,588
Not all of it.
1469
01:17:13,713 --> 01:17:15,674
Whatever happens, you'll have me.
1470
01:17:16,216 --> 01:17:19,386
That's a very nice thing to say, but...
1471
01:17:19,553 --> 01:17:20,720
But what?
1472
01:17:32,607 --> 01:17:36,403
TANYA: Following a fatal traffic accident
involving a coalition truck,
1473
01:17:36,486 --> 01:17:37,737
long simmering frustration
1474
01:17:37,863 --> 01:17:41,408
today boiled over
into violence and despair.
1475
01:17:41,491 --> 01:17:42,909
They kill us!
1476
01:17:42,993 --> 01:17:44,995
They kill us and they break our hearts!
1477
01:17:45,078 --> 01:17:47,664
And I also give this message
to President Hamid Karzai.
1478
01:17:47,747 --> 01:17:50,167
What the hell is happening here?
1479
01:17:55,046 --> 01:17:57,090
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER PA)
1480
01:18:04,097 --> 01:18:05,765
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
1481
01:18:11,062 --> 01:18:13,064
Okay, I don't care
who the hell's in there. I'm Kim Baker.
1482
01:18:13,148 --> 01:18:15,692
Go on in, Kim. Jerry's expecting you.
1483
01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:18,195
Well, that's fucking unsatisfying.
1484
01:18:18,278 --> 01:18:19,613
Can I take your bag?
1485
01:18:19,696 --> 01:18:20,989
Yes. Please.
1486
01:18:22,115 --> 01:18:23,200
Would you care for some water?
1487
01:18:23,283 --> 01:18:24,284
Yes.
1488
01:18:35,503 --> 01:18:36,504
I should've Googled you.
1489
01:18:36,588 --> 01:18:40,175
I've been... I've been using all the
wrong swear words. (CHUCKLES)
1490
01:18:41,635 --> 01:18:43,720
Well, I hope
I didn't ruin your big moment.
1491
01:18:43,803 --> 01:18:46,556
Look, Geri, I don't know what
Tucker has been telling you.
1492
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:49,059
He said that you're upset
about the air time you're getting.
1493
01:18:49,142 --> 01:18:52,437
That's just wrong,
because this is not about me.
1494
01:18:52,520 --> 01:18:54,564
My frustration is with our priorities
1495
01:18:54,648 --> 01:18:56,650
and what's best for the network.
1496
01:18:57,484 --> 01:18:59,986
Isn't deciding what's best
for the network my job?
1497
01:19:01,821 --> 01:19:03,156
I'm just saying,
1498
01:19:03,823 --> 01:19:06,201
as journalists, we have
an obligation to this story.
1499
01:19:06,284 --> 01:19:09,829
And Afghanistan should be
on our air more, period.
1500
01:19:09,913 --> 01:19:11,581
With the resources we have over there,
1501
01:19:11,665 --> 01:19:14,167
Afghanistan should
definitely be on our air more.
1502
01:19:14,251 --> 01:19:18,380
But the problem is,
as much as everyone loves the troops,
1503
01:19:18,463 --> 01:19:21,883
they don't actually want to watch
them on the news anymore.
1504
01:19:21,967 --> 01:19:23,134
They just don't.
1505
01:19:23,426 --> 01:19:26,221
So I can't give Afghanistan more air.
1506
01:19:26,304 --> 01:19:30,267
Which means I need
to give Afghanistan fewer resources.
1507
01:19:30,350 --> 01:19:32,852
That's what's best for the network.
1508
01:19:33,353 --> 01:19:34,771
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Geri...
1509
01:19:34,854 --> 01:19:35,855
You have that call now.
1510
01:19:38,942 --> 01:19:40,443
I'm not trying to be a bitch.
1511
01:19:40,527 --> 01:19:41,695
Okay, let me pitch you something.
1512
01:19:41,820 --> 01:19:43,029
All right, the Chinese
mining concession...
1513
01:19:43,113 --> 01:19:44,114
Jesus).!
1514
01:19:44,197 --> 01:19:45,448
Look, the last person who got any kind of
1515
01:19:45,532 --> 01:19:47,117
bounce out of Afghanistan
1516
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:48,952
was your friend Tanya Vanderpoel.
1517
01:19:49,035 --> 01:19:52,372
She's actually got me over a barrel
thanks to that drone story.
1518
01:19:52,831 --> 01:19:54,207
What do you mean, "over a barrel"?
1519
01:19:54,291 --> 01:19:55,625
She's London, Kim.
1520
01:19:57,377 --> 01:19:59,337
- You're hiring Tanya.
- Yes.
1521
01:20:00,797 --> 01:20:02,590
I assumed you two flew here together.
1522
01:20:04,551 --> 01:20:05,885
She's here.
1523
01:20:07,721 --> 01:20:08,888
(STUTTERS)
1524
01:20:08,972 --> 01:20:13,184
I'm sorry, you started
talking to her before the UAV strike?
1525
01:20:13,268 --> 01:20:14,811
Va
drone?
1526
01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:18,064
Hello! Where are you going?
1527
01:20:18,398 --> 01:20:20,817
No, I'm only here for a few days.
1528
01:20:21,318 --> 01:20:22,819
Oh, I know.
1529
01:20:24,904 --> 01:20:25,989
Oh, fuck.
1530
01:20:26,656 --> 01:20:28,241
I don't know what to say to you.
1531
01:20:28,366 --> 01:20:30,410
Ducky, I'm sorry. I fucked up.
1532
01:20:30,493 --> 01:20:32,078
Did you go to the Tribals
1533
01:20:32,162 --> 01:20:33,788
because you were
in a contract negotiation?
1534
01:20:33,913 --> 01:20:36,082
Dude, I'm not stealing your job, okay?
1535
01:20:36,166 --> 01:20:39,002
Tanya, this is not about my fucking job.
1536
01:20:40,170 --> 01:20:41,838
We have to make good calls, right?
1537
01:20:41,921 --> 01:20:44,716
And now Andy lost an eye
and Jaweed is dead.
1538
01:20:44,799 --> 01:20:47,427
Christ, man, we've both
fucking made mistakes!
1539
01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:50,597
No. Tell me you didn't go to the Tribals
because of a contract.
1540
01:20:51,723 --> 01:20:54,851
You would have done exactly what I did
if Jaweed had gone to you.
1541
01:20:54,934 --> 01:20:56,519
No. I'm not you.
1542
01:20:56,811 --> 01:20:57,812
(SCOFFS)
1543
01:21:03,068 --> 01:21:05,070
Do you remember your first embed?
1544
01:21:06,446 --> 01:21:08,448
You interviewed a young Marine?
1545
01:21:08,531 --> 01:21:09,532
Coughlin? Yes. What?
1546
01:21:09,616 --> 01:21:13,119
Yeah, well, after they aired your story,
1547
01:21:13,203 --> 01:21:17,374
where you used his soundbite
about not loading his rifle,
1548
01:21:17,457 --> 01:21:19,376
they sent him to Helmand.
1549
01:21:20,085 --> 01:21:22,087
And he got his legs blown off.
1550
01:21:23,046 --> 01:21:24,381
So I hear.
1551
01:21:30,053 --> 01:21:31,554
See you in Kabul.
1552
01:21:41,022 --> 01:21:42,649
(DOOR OPENING)
1553
01:22:01,751 --> 01:22:04,671
IAIN: (ON PHONE) I'm not really
surprised she chased the story.
1554
01:22:04,838 --> 01:22:06,548
That's what we do. That's what you do.
1555
01:22:06,631 --> 01:22:07,674
I would do it.
1556
01:22:10,677 --> 01:22:12,178
Sorry.
1557
01:22:12,345 --> 01:22:15,014
Goddamn it, I'm tired.
1558
01:22:15,098 --> 01:22:16,391
You booked your return yet?
1559
01:22:16,474 --> 01:22:18,268
'Cause you could come through
Glasgow if you wanted.
1560
01:22:18,351 --> 01:22:19,310
- I'll meet you.
- What?
1561
01:22:19,394 --> 01:22:21,104
No. What about Badakhshan?
1562
01:22:21,187 --> 01:22:22,730
Badakhshan, that will keep
1563
01:22:22,814 --> 01:22:25,275
because the fucking pass
is still snowed in.
1564
01:22:25,358 --> 01:22:28,111
I need that story. (SIGHING)
I need a hit, all right?
1565
01:22:28,194 --> 01:22:30,321
I need something
so that Geri doesn't decide
1566
01:22:30,405 --> 01:22:32,699
I'm more useful as
an ottoman in her fucking office.
1567
01:22:32,782 --> 01:22:35,702
What you need, Kim,
is some time out of the bubble.
1568
01:22:35,785 --> 01:22:38,204
You'd better get ready.
I'm fucking making love to you
1569
01:22:38,288 --> 01:22:41,207
to bagpipe versions of Sade songs.
1570
01:22:43,376 --> 01:22:44,627
Yeah, okay.
1571
01:22:44,711 --> 01:22:46,504
Really? You'll meet me in Glasgow?
1572
01:22:47,297 --> 01:22:49,799
Yeah, I'll meet you in Glasgow.
1573
01:22:49,883 --> 01:22:51,509
- I'll get the next flight.
- Okay.
1574
01:22:51,885 --> 01:22:53,887
- Bye.
- Bye.
1575
01:23:03,563 --> 01:23:04,731
IAIN: Hey, Antoine.
1576
01:23:04,814 --> 01:23:07,692
Where have you come from?
I thought you were in Badakhshan.
1577
01:23:08,067 --> 01:23:10,904
I was. Drove back overnight.
1578
01:23:10,987 --> 01:23:12,864
Wait, what? The pass is open?
1579
01:23:12,947 --> 01:23:14,824
Oui. For now.
1580
01:23:19,329 --> 01:23:21,206
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1581
01:23:29,005 --> 01:23:30,089
IAIN: Cheers.
1582
01:23:30,423 --> 01:23:31,424
(REPLIES IN FRENCH)
1583
01:23:48,066 --> 01:23:49,859
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1584
01:23:51,444 --> 01:23:52,779
Oh, Christ. (CLEARS THROAT)
1585
01:23:54,364 --> 01:23:55,615
(CONVERSING IN DARI)
1586
01:23:55,782 --> 01:23:56,824
Excuse me.
1587
01:23:58,660 --> 01:23:59,702
Kunduz near?
1588
01:24:00,078 --> 01:24:01,120
Far?
1589
01:24:06,417 --> 01:24:08,836
I'd like to rent a car.
1590
01:24:10,380 --> 01:24:11,381
- Mmm-hmm.
-(LAUGHS)
1591
01:24:11,714 --> 01:24:13,633
(SPEAKING DARI)
1592
01:24:15,051 --> 01:24:16,386
Aye, thank you.
1593
01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:18,972
Yeah, I get it. Thank you. Thanks a lot.
1594
01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:23,351
(IAIN CLEARS THROAT)
1595
01:24:24,978 --> 01:24:26,604
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
1596
01:24:30,316 --> 01:24:32,443
(THUDDING)
1597
01:24:33,194 --> 01:24:35,280
(YELLING CONTINUES)
1598
01:24:43,246 --> 01:24:44,914
Oh, Jesus.
1599
01:24:45,498 --> 01:24:47,166
Oh, shit.
1600
01:24:47,500 --> 01:24:49,836
(MEN YELLING IN DARI)
1601
01:24:56,175 --> 01:24:58,511
PILOT: (ON PA) Welcome to
Glasgow International Airport.
1602
01:24:59,470 --> 01:25:02,432
Outside temperatures
18 degrees Celsius.
1603
01:25:02,515 --> 01:25:04,601
- Local time is 15 hours.
-(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
1604
01:25:04,684 --> 01:25:07,520
There will be an airline representative
to assist you to your luggage.
1605
01:25:07,604 --> 01:25:09,731
Once again, thank you
for flying with us...
1606
01:25:11,065 --> 01:25:12,609
Oh, my God.
1607
01:25:25,121 --> 01:25:26,414
KIM: Leaving a message for Susan.
1608
01:25:26,497 --> 01:25:28,625
Woodward, I'm back in Kabul again.
1609
01:25:28,708 --> 01:25:29,959
I'm trying to get information about
1610
01:25:30,043 --> 01:25:31,294
the disappearance of lain MacKelpie,
1611
01:25:31,377 --> 01:25:33,504
so if someone at Reuters
can please call me back.
1612
01:25:33,588 --> 01:25:35,381
Call to let me know
that you've received this message.
1613
01:25:35,465 --> 01:25:36,674
Thank you.
1614
01:25:41,679 --> 01:25:43,723
(DARI ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
1615
01:25:53,733 --> 01:25:55,943
KIM: Who kidnaps a Scottish
freelance photographer?
1616
01:25:56,027 --> 01:25:58,196
The whole point of kidnapping
is to get money, right?
1617
01:25:58,279 --> 01:25:59,489
As far as I understand,
1618
01:25:59,572 --> 01:26:01,491
lain was just in the wrong place
at the wrong time.
1619
01:26:01,574 --> 01:26:04,369
Can this half-assed country
not even do kidnapping right?
1620
01:26:04,452 --> 01:26:07,455
ISAF does not think
this was an upper-tier organization.
1621
01:26:07,538 --> 01:26:10,333
So these men will
probably try to sell him to someone else.
1622
01:26:10,416 --> 01:26:13,544
And then there
will be some talking, you know.
1623
01:26:13,628 --> 01:26:15,963
Oh, my God, Fahim.
They're gonna kill him.
1624
01:26:16,589 --> 01:26:18,341
No, they will not, Kim,
1625
01:26:18,424 --> 01:26:19,842
inshallah.
1626
01:26:22,136 --> 01:26:25,390
Now is when you're supposed
to say "I told you so."
1627
01:26:32,772 --> 01:26:33,898
(GOAT BLEATING)
1628
01:26:35,149 --> 01:26:36,442
TERRY: Fuck!
1629
01:26:44,659 --> 01:26:47,954
FAHIM: Ramadan has ended.
They are slaughtering lambs.
1630
01:26:54,961 --> 01:26:56,254
(SIGHING)
1631
01:27:07,974 --> 01:27:09,058
May I speak with him?
1632
01:27:09,142 --> 01:27:10,143
The general's busy.
1633
01:27:14,105 --> 01:27:16,107
Really, General? The elliptical?
1634
01:27:16,649 --> 01:27:18,443
I have bad knees.
1635
01:27:20,820 --> 01:27:23,865
I'm guessing you didn't come here
for the smell of balls.
1636
01:27:23,948 --> 01:27:25,908
Everybody get the fuck out!
1637
01:27:31,497 --> 01:27:33,332
They believe that he may have been sold
1638
01:27:33,416 --> 01:27:34,959
to another organization
1639
01:27:35,042 --> 01:27:36,878
somewhere in that same region.
1640
01:27:41,007 --> 01:27:43,217
That's a pretty big ask, Baker.
1641
01:27:44,844 --> 01:27:47,013
There's a real-time clock on this.
1642
01:27:48,598 --> 01:27:50,516
I'm sorry, I can't help you.
1643
01:27:54,479 --> 01:27:55,772
(KIM CLEARS THROAT)
1644
01:27:59,233 --> 01:28:01,360
You know, it's just a shame that
1645
01:28:01,444 --> 01:28:03,279
y'all don't get credit for all these
1646
01:28:03,362 --> 01:28:05,114
high-profile things that you do.
1647
01:28:05,198 --> 01:28:07,700
You know, especially with
SEALs and Delta out there.
1648
01:28:07,784 --> 01:28:09,035
I mean, what week
goes by that you don't see
1649
01:28:09,118 --> 01:28:11,454
those assholes on TV, am I right?
1650
01:28:12,830 --> 01:28:16,334
And then next time Congress
votes on a Pentagon budget
1651
01:28:16,417 --> 01:28:20,087
and there's this pesky little
10% line item for the Marines,
1652
01:28:20,171 --> 01:28:23,216
next thing you know,
you guys are just part of the Navy.
1653
01:28:23,299 --> 01:28:25,009
Although, sir, you would look spectacular
1654
01:28:25,092 --> 01:28:26,928
in one of those pretty white uniforms.
1655
01:28:31,766 --> 01:28:33,100
God, you know what?
1656
01:28:34,227 --> 01:28:36,646
It's just occurring to me
that, unlike JSOC,
1657
01:28:36,729 --> 01:28:38,940
you guys allow reporter embeds.
1658
01:28:39,065 --> 01:28:42,902
Which means that a cameraman
could go on a FORECON mission.
1659
01:28:43,569 --> 01:28:46,614
Don't you think that would be
great for the Corps, sir?
1660
01:28:47,073 --> 01:28:48,908
That kind of exposure?
1661
01:28:50,451 --> 01:28:51,953
Pretty good for you, too.
1662
01:28:53,579 --> 01:28:55,206
Look, we don't go in blind.
1663
01:28:55,289 --> 01:28:57,708
We have to know what we're doing
and where we're going.
1664
01:28:57,792 --> 01:28:59,210
It's the way we work.
1665
01:28:59,293 --> 01:29:01,963
We're not likely to get an address, but...
1666
01:29:02,046 --> 01:29:03,506
When you have something concrete,
1667
01:29:03,589 --> 01:29:04,966
come back and we'll get kinetic.
1668
01:29:10,930 --> 01:29:12,515
Ugh! (SPEAKS DARI)
1669
01:29:15,768 --> 01:29:19,522
Please tell Mr. Sadiq
that his "special friend" is here.
1670
01:29:19,605 --> 01:29:21,983
What can I get for you? Some tea?
The new PlayStation?
1671
01:29:22,066 --> 01:29:23,693
No, thank you.
I just need a moment of your time.
1672
01:29:23,776 --> 01:29:24,944
SANG'. Ah.
1673
01:29:27,530 --> 01:29:29,115
We still friends, Sadiq?
1674
01:29:29,198 --> 01:29:32,285
Well, that is up to you, Kim.
1675
01:29:32,368 --> 01:29:34,203
Because you once told me
1676
01:29:34,287 --> 01:29:37,039
that nothing happens here
that you don't know about.
1677
01:29:37,123 --> 01:29:39,208
So you must know about my friend
1678
01:29:39,292 --> 01:29:41,335
lain MacKelpie getting kidnapped.
1679
01:29:41,419 --> 01:29:42,461
I did hear about this, yes.
1680
01:29:42,545 --> 01:29:43,754
Yeah, well, everybody heard about it,
1681
01:29:43,838 --> 01:29:48,301
but a powerful man such as yourself
must actually know something.
1682
01:29:48,384 --> 01:29:50,511
Or your friend Pacha Khan
knows something.
1683
01:29:50,595 --> 01:29:51,888
Or his friend does.
1684
01:29:51,971 --> 01:29:53,139
Of course.
1685
01:29:53,222 --> 01:29:56,225
I could make some inquiries,
but I can only do this
1686
01:29:56,309 --> 01:29:58,477
for a very special friend.
1687
01:30:01,397 --> 01:30:02,398
(SIGHS)
1688
01:30:17,163 --> 01:30:19,999
I have a video that I think
you should watch, Sadiq.
1689
01:30:20,082 --> 01:30:22,585
You push the little triangle.
1690
01:30:23,753 --> 01:30:26,088
(LAUGHS) You can watch
video on the phone?
1691
01:30:29,842 --> 01:30:31,010
What is this?
1692
01:30:32,595 --> 01:30:34,513
It looks like the Attorney General
1693
01:30:34,639 --> 01:30:36,515
of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan
1694
01:30:36,599 --> 01:30:37,892
dancing in the street
1695
01:30:38,017 --> 01:30:40,353
with a Western enemy of Islam
1696
01:30:40,436 --> 01:30:42,355
at a party where alcohol was served.
1697
01:30:43,439 --> 01:30:44,941
I've never touched alcohol in my life!
1698
01:30:45,024 --> 01:30:46,943
Well, I'm just saying how it looks.
1699
01:30:53,282 --> 01:30:54,825
(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
1700
01:30:54,951 --> 01:30:56,869
It's a good idea, right?
1701
01:30:57,870 --> 01:30:59,705
It's a great idea!
1702
01:31:00,539 --> 01:31:01,666
It's fucking ace!
1703
01:31:04,377 --> 01:31:05,878
Good on ya, Kim!
1704
01:31:07,755 --> 01:31:11,008
Let's go, load up!
Let's go, move, move, move!
1705
01:31:24,146 --> 01:31:26,816
You drink Tennessee whiskey,
Miss Baker?
1706
01:31:27,984 --> 01:31:28,985
Yeah.
1707
01:31:31,612 --> 01:31:33,114
Outstanding.
1708
01:31:44,166 --> 01:31:46,752
(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
1709
01:32:20,703 --> 01:32:22,913
(MUFFLED GUNSHOTS)
1710
01:32:24,373 --> 01:32:26,625
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1711
01:32:51,650 --> 01:32:53,027
(MUFFLED EXPLOSION)
1712
01:32:53,486 --> 01:32:55,112
(MUFFLED GUNFIRE)
1713
01:32:56,864 --> 01:32:59,492
(MEN GROANING)
1714
01:33:13,297 --> 01:33:15,549
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1715
01:33:20,262 --> 01:33:21,889
Tall Brian? What the fuck?
1716
01:33:35,194 --> 01:33:37,196
Hang tight, sir.
I'm gonna get you that ride.
1717
01:33:37,279 --> 01:33:38,739
Thank you. (CLEARS THROAT)
1718
01:33:43,119 --> 01:33:45,621
KIM: What happened
to the army, Dr. Brydon?
1719
01:33:47,373 --> 01:33:48,374
(SIGHS)
1720
01:33:48,541 --> 01:33:50,042
I am the army.
1721
01:33:55,214 --> 01:33:56,882
Thank you, Kim.
1722
01:33:56,966 --> 01:33:58,217
KIM: How are you?
1723
01:33:58,676 --> 01:33:59,844
I've had worse kidnappings.
1724
01:34:00,219 --> 01:34:01,220
(CHUCKLES)
1725
01:34:03,722 --> 01:34:04,807
ANCHORMAN: MacKeipie is being
treated for minor injuries.
1726
01:34:06,267 --> 01:34:07,977
Again, this incredible footage
1727
01:34:08,060 --> 01:34:09,937
was produced
by our very own Kim Baker.
1728
01:34:10,020 --> 01:34:12,314
Just incredible. Way to go, Kim!
1729
01:34:13,399 --> 01:34:17,027
If you want to kidnap
someone fucking twice,
1730
01:34:17,111 --> 01:34:18,112
you do a Toyota.
1731
01:34:18,195 --> 01:34:21,866
Fucking not as interesting as it got
when they fucking pulled out a burqa.
1732
01:34:21,949 --> 01:34:23,534
It's too fucking long for me!
1733
01:34:23,617 --> 01:34:25,202
I don't know who
the woman was it belonged to.
1734
01:34:25,286 --> 01:34:26,871
- I'm not fucking 6'2", right?
-(LAUGHTER)
1735
01:34:26,954 --> 01:34:29,915
I'm dragging this fucking thing along,
thinking the only consolation is,
1736
01:34:29,999 --> 01:34:32,126
at least if I'm a fucking woman,
1737
01:34:32,209 --> 01:34:34,920
I'm not gonna get buggered,
you know what I'm saying?
1738
01:34:35,004 --> 01:34:37,173
(LAUGHTER)
1739
01:34:41,594 --> 01:34:43,762
So anyway, I took
a little something, actually.
1740
01:34:43,846 --> 01:34:45,347
I went to the gift shop at Taliban.
1741
01:34:45,431 --> 01:34:46,682
I'm afraid all I could get
1742
01:34:46,849 --> 01:34:48,350
was that.
1743
01:34:52,479 --> 01:34:54,356
(LAUGHTER)
1744
01:34:56,025 --> 01:34:58,694
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1745
01:35:02,281 --> 01:35:03,991
(BRUSHING TEETH)
1746
01:35:07,161 --> 01:35:08,537
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1747
01:35:12,458 --> 01:35:14,960
-it's a shame you're going.
- Hmm?
1748
01:35:15,127 --> 01:35:19,256
Well, I hope at least
they're flying you first class.
1749
01:35:19,340 --> 01:35:22,051
Geri doesn't like me that much.
But she does like me now,
1750
01:35:22,134 --> 01:35:24,345
so while I have this juice,
1751
01:35:24,470 --> 01:35:26,180
I've got to leverage it
into something better.
1752
01:35:26,263 --> 01:35:27,514
(SNAPS FINGERS) Yes!
1753
01:35:27,598 --> 01:35:28,891
Yes, wait, Iraq.
1754
01:35:28,974 --> 01:35:30,601
- I'll come with you.
-(LAUGHS)
1755
01:35:30,684 --> 01:35:33,479
No, actually, Pakistan.
That's where the real shooting shit is.
1756
01:35:33,562 --> 01:35:34,813
It's like the Wild West out there.
1757
01:35:34,897 --> 01:35:37,775
Actually, I told Geri
that I want New York or D.C.
1758
01:35:37,858 --> 01:35:39,193
(LAUGHING)
1759
01:35:43,030 --> 01:35:44,281
No, I did.
1760
01:35:45,574 --> 01:35:46,951
No, really, where are you going?
1761
01:35:47,034 --> 01:35:48,452
New York or D.C.
1762
01:35:50,537 --> 01:35:51,664
Why?
1763
01:35:53,290 --> 01:35:55,000
You can still come with me.
1764
01:36:01,548 --> 01:36:03,467
Because I think
there's plenty of good work
1765
01:36:03,550 --> 01:36:05,010
to be done in the real world,
1766
01:36:05,094 --> 01:36:07,137
and the Kabubble is well-established.
1767
01:36:07,221 --> 01:36:09,848
Is this about me going
to Badakhshan without you?
1768
01:36:09,932 --> 01:36:12,476
'Cause you would have done
exactly the same thing.
1769
01:36:12,559 --> 01:36:14,770
- And, hey, what, I forgive you!
-(KIM SCOFFS)
1770
01:36:17,523 --> 01:36:19,191
This is not about you.
1771
01:36:19,316 --> 01:36:21,944
It's not about Badakhshan, or Glasgow,
1772
01:36:22,027 --> 01:36:23,946
or the cottage with the chickens.
1773
01:36:25,072 --> 01:36:26,198
What chickens?
1774
01:36:33,330 --> 01:36:35,124
It's okay. I know you're not gonna come.
1775
01:36:39,503 --> 01:36:41,380
I just have to get out of here
before it's too late.
1776
01:36:43,007 --> 01:36:44,341
What do you mean?
1777
01:36:46,427 --> 01:36:48,595
I started to feel like this was normal.
1778
01:36:51,682 --> 01:36:53,517
You know it's not, right?
1779
01:37:10,826 --> 01:37:12,494
Come to New York and get it.
1780
01:37:13,746 --> 01:37:16,582
Remember, you're like a six
in Manhattan.
1781
01:37:37,978 --> 01:37:40,606
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1782
01:37:49,698 --> 01:37:51,200
How's your baby?
1783
01:37:51,950 --> 01:37:53,202
Which one?
1784
01:37:53,786 --> 01:37:55,704
- You have two?
- Yes.
1785
01:37:57,790 --> 01:37:59,708
-Irish twins.
-(LAUGHS)
1786
01:38:01,627 --> 01:38:04,296
No, they are very good.
1787
01:38:04,380 --> 01:38:07,132
The younger one, the boy,
he's very strong.
1788
01:38:07,299 --> 01:38:08,509
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
1789
01:38:08,884 --> 01:38:10,886
I bet the girl is strong, too.
1790
01:38:10,969 --> 01:38:12,304
She's stronger.
1791
01:38:41,667 --> 01:38:43,335
So, um!
1792
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:47,339
Those men in the hospital, the addicts...
1793
01:38:49,049 --> 01:38:51,093
Any of them ever get better?
1794
01:38:51,176 --> 01:38:53,846
Have a happy ending?
1795
01:39:05,441 --> 01:39:08,444
In my culture, we would hug.
(CHUCKLES)
1796
01:40:28,315 --> 01:40:29,316
(GRUNTS)
1797
01:40:33,278 --> 01:40:34,363
Hey.
1798
01:40:35,614 --> 01:40:37,449
COUGHLIN: You know,
I miss it. The Stan.
1799
01:40:38,033 --> 01:40:39,451
KIM: Yeah, I miss it, too.
1800
01:40:39,535 --> 01:40:41,620
Actually, I tried to go back
1801
01:40:42,621 --> 01:40:44,289
but even the Army wouldn't take me.
1802
01:40:44,957 --> 01:40:48,001
I mean, the Army!
I mean, that's just hurtful.
1803
01:40:48,085 --> 01:40:49,086
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1804
01:40:51,213 --> 01:40:54,049
Well, I'm very sorry
for what happened to you.
1805
01:40:54,132 --> 01:40:56,969
So if there's anything
that you want to say to me,
1806
01:40:57,052 --> 01:40:58,053
that's why I'm here.
1807
01:40:58,387 --> 01:41:00,055
That's why I came here.
1808
01:41:00,430 --> 01:41:01,473
Ma'am,
1809
01:41:03,267 --> 01:41:06,812
I lost my legs because of an IED,
not because of you.
1810
01:41:09,064 --> 01:41:11,233
I appreciate that,
but if I hadn't quoted you,
1811
01:41:11,316 --> 01:41:13,652
-you wouldn't have been transferred.
-(LAUGHS)
1812
01:41:13,819 --> 01:41:15,529
No, really, you can say
whatever you want to me.
1813
01:41:15,612 --> 01:41:16,655
That's why I'm here.
1814
01:41:16,738 --> 01:41:18,031
Okay, well, then let's say you're right.
1815
01:41:18,115 --> 01:41:19,199
It's still not 'cause of you, ma'am.
1816
01:41:19,658 --> 01:41:23,829
Some 12-year-old haji
had to plant that bomb.
1817
01:41:23,912 --> 01:41:26,707
And, hell, you know,
if Bin Laden's parents
1818
01:41:26,790 --> 01:41:28,083
hadn't have gotten divorced,
1819
01:41:28,166 --> 01:41:31,086
maybe none of us would've been
in the Stan to begin with.
1820
01:41:33,005 --> 01:41:36,550
And the Taliban, they wouldn't
have even been there for UBL
1821
01:41:36,633 --> 01:41:39,261
if Brezhnev hadn't have gone
and fouled up Afghanistan
1822
01:41:39,344 --> 01:41:40,846
in the first place.
1823
01:41:41,763 --> 01:41:45,350
And the British Empire. Yeah.
1824
01:41:45,434 --> 01:41:46,602
And Kim Baker.
1825
01:41:46,685 --> 01:41:48,145
Okay, I deserve that.
1826
01:41:49,396 --> 01:41:51,732
(STAMMERS) Goddamn!
Once you got no legs,
1827
01:41:51,815 --> 01:41:53,650
everyone takes
everything so serious.
1828
01:41:53,859 --> 01:41:54,901
(COUGHLIN SCOFFS)
1829
01:41:54,985 --> 01:41:58,780
I mean, there's only so much
any of us have any control of,
1830
01:41:59,531 --> 01:42:02,117
good or bad.
1831
01:42:02,200 --> 01:42:05,370
If you didn't learn that in Afghanistan,
you were not paying attention.
1832
01:42:05,454 --> 01:42:07,664
So, you're not gonna yell at me?
1833
01:42:07,748 --> 01:42:10,083
(CHUCKLING) I mean, ma'am...
1834
01:42:11,877 --> 01:42:13,629
Kim, you've got to move on.
1835
01:42:15,130 --> 01:42:17,215
You're giving yourself
way too much credit.
1836
01:42:17,966 --> 01:42:19,885
You embrace the suck,
1837
01:42:21,053 --> 01:42:23,055
you move the fuck forward.
1838
01:42:29,144 --> 01:42:31,396
What other fucking choice do we have?
1839
01:42:35,233 --> 01:42:36,568
ELENA: Do I hear swearing over there?
1840
01:42:37,486 --> 01:42:39,988
How are you standing there
the one time I curse?
1841
01:42:40,072 --> 01:42:41,114
-"One time."
- I mean...
1842
01:42:41,198 --> 01:42:42,324
It's true. He had a good
1843
01:42:42,407 --> 01:42:43,408
-long run in the military.
-(COUGHLIN LAUGHS)
1844
01:42:43,492 --> 01:42:45,118
ELENA: Don't cover up for him.
1845
01:42:45,827 --> 01:42:46,995
So, Kim, are you gonna stay for dinner?
1846
01:42:47,079 --> 01:42:48,830
Of course she will.
1847
01:43:00,759 --> 01:43:04,012
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
1848
01:43:09,768 --> 01:43:10,936
Bye!
1849
01:43:11,853 --> 01:43:15,023
- Say bye to Kim. Bye, Kim!
- Say bye.
1850
01:43:35,127 --> 01:43:37,629
KIM: Colonel, the Afghan
National Army missed
1851
01:43:37,713 --> 01:43:39,214
yet another benchmark
for preparedness.
1852
01:43:39,297 --> 01:43:42,300
How do you think that will
affect our draw down in the region?
1853
01:43:42,384 --> 01:43:44,720
There needs to be a revision to the
previously announced draw down
1854
01:43:44,803 --> 01:43:46,847
or our future exit strategy.
1855
01:43:46,930 --> 01:43:47,931
Thank you, Colonel Roberts.
1856
01:43:48,056 --> 01:43:49,057
Thank you. My pleasure.
1857
01:43:49,141 --> 01:43:51,601
Coming up, a look at the war on terror
1858
01:43:51,685 --> 01:43:54,312
that's close to home
for those of us who cover it.
1859
01:43:54,396 --> 01:43:56,314
From London,
I'll be joined by award-winning
1860
01:43:56,398 --> 01:43:58,358
combat photographer, lain MacKelpie.
1861
01:43:58,442 --> 01:44:00,235
His new book, Conflict Zone,
1862
01:44:00,318 --> 01:44:02,279
chronicles a decade spent working
1863
01:44:02,362 --> 01:44:04,239
in the Middle East and Afghanistan.
1864
01:44:04,322 --> 01:44:06,074
That's when we return.
1865
01:44:06,158 --> 01:44:08,744
DIRECTOR: And we're clear. Back in 40.
1866
01:44:08,827 --> 01:44:09,828
Hi, Iain.
1867
01:44:09,911 --> 01:44:11,913
Hi. Was I supposed
to say something then
1868
01:44:11,997 --> 01:44:13,248
-when you introduced me'?
- Nope.
1869
01:44:13,331 --> 01:44:16,501
Nope. Just sit up, smile.
1870
01:44:17,961 --> 01:44:19,713
I can't smile. My face feels weird.
1871
01:44:19,838 --> 01:44:21,923
No, you're fine. You look good.
1872
01:44:22,007 --> 01:44:23,425
Thank you for coming on the show.
1873
01:44:23,508 --> 01:44:24,843
No, please. Thanks for having me.
1874
01:44:24,926 --> 01:44:26,928
- I got it. Okay, yeah. Got it.
-(CLEARS THROAT)
1875
01:44:27,846 --> 01:44:29,848
You know, they got me
on this book tour at the moment.
1876
01:44:29,931 --> 01:44:31,308
I'm gonna be in New York
at the end of the month,
1877
01:44:31,391 --> 01:44:33,018
if you'd fancy a coffee.
1878
01:44:33,852 --> 01:44:37,856
DIRECTOR: We're back
in five, four, three...