WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:12.074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:56.160 --> 00:00:58.037 Hey, babe. So happy to see you! 3 00:00:58.240 --> 00:01:01.232 Hi! I got your flowers. That was so sweet of you. 4 00:01:01.400 --> 00:01:02.960 Of course. Well, I know you're finishing 5 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.433 your Global Health paper today 6 00:01:04.600 --> 00:01:06.176 and you've been working really hard on it. 7 00:01:06.200 --> 00:01:10.193 Well, I'm almost done, so, maybe 8 00:01:10.360 --> 00:01:14.797 you want to come over and Netflix and chill and... 9 00:01:15.240 --> 00:01:16.240 What? 10 00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:19.198 You mean you want to fuck? 11 00:01:19.360 --> 00:01:21.237 I did not say that! 12 00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:22.435 Oh, my God! I know. 13 00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.120 No! I was being more subtle than that! 14 00:01:24.200 --> 00:01:25.200 I know. I'm sorry. 15 00:01:25.280 --> 00:01:27.555 Yes, I am so down for that. 16 00:01:27.720 --> 00:01:29.438 It's been like three fucking days. 17 00:01:29.600 --> 00:01:32.160 My balls are so blue right now, 18 00:01:32.360 --> 00:01:33.793 like dark blue, Uh-oh. 19 00:01:33.880 --> 00:01:34.949 Like almost black. 20 00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:37.076 No, I'm fucking serious. Here, check it out. 21 00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:39.589 I believe you. I believe you. 22 00:01:39.760 --> 00:01:40.760 Okay. 23 00:01:40.840 --> 00:01:42.831 I'll see your almost-black balls later. 24 00:01:42.920 --> 00:01:43.920 Cool, Steph. 25 00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:46.076 Come over any time after 6:00. Okay, hun? 26 00:01:46.240 --> 00:01:48.117 Okay. Dude, we are going to Netflix 27 00:01:48.200 --> 00:01:50.873 and chill this shit so hard. 28 00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:54.077 Peaky Blinders. Kimmy Schmidt! 29 00:01:54.240 --> 00:01:55.593 Movember's over. 30 00:01:55.960 --> 00:01:58.554 Time to shave the pornstache. 31 00:01:59.080 --> 00:02:01.514 Sorry. Making a Murderer! 32 00:02:01.720 --> 00:02:03.119 Narcos! 33 00:02:03.280 --> 00:02:06.033 Stranger Things! 34 00:02:06.200 --> 00:02:08.555 Black balls! 35 00:02:24.520 --> 00:02:26.556 Anyways, Ned followed his dreams 36 00:02:26.720 --> 00:02:28.517 and turned a run-down old printing press 37 00:02:28.600 --> 00:02:29.953 into the industry powerhouse 38 00:02:30.120 --> 00:02:32.156 known today as the Fleming Company. 39 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:33.976 Best boss in the world! 40 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:36.036 The Fleming Company! 41 00:02:36.200 --> 00:02:37.394 We're talking 42 00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:39.551 brochures for Steelcase furniture, 43 00:02:39.760 --> 00:02:41.876 half the specialty jobs in Grand Rapids 44 00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:45.555 and who could forget the Domino's Pizza circular? 45 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.831 But before all that... 46 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:53.151 Ned met a young Michigan Wolverine, Barbara Welsh. 47 00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:55.032 How did this older guy get me? 48 00:02:55.200 --> 00:02:58.715 Ned took her on their first date to see his favorite band... 49 00:02:58.880 --> 00:03:01.997 Kiss! Kiss! 50 00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:03.434 My favorite band, too! 51 00:03:03.600 --> 00:03:04.828 Rock and roll! 52 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:06.353 A few years later, 53 00:03:06.520 --> 00:03:08.715 the stork brought my sister, Stephanie. 54 00:03:08.800 --> 00:03:10.199 Aw! 55 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:12.032 She's so cute. 56 00:03:13.040 --> 00:03:14.871 They weren't close at all. 57 00:03:15.040 --> 00:03:17.395 Oh, dropping her off at school. Yeah. 58 00:03:17.480 --> 00:03:20.119 Then came me, Scotty F. 59 00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:21.349 Did we have another child? 60 00:03:21.480 --> 00:03:23.456 I forgot about that second baby. Oh, we had another child. 61 00:03:23.480 --> 00:03:24.629 Anyways, Big Cheese. 62 00:03:26.840 --> 00:03:27.840 I'm sorry, guys. 63 00:03:27.920 --> 00:03:29.911 I promised myself I wasn't gonna do this. 64 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:31.353 Aw... 65 00:03:31.480 --> 00:03:33.072 But I love you, Dad. Happy Birthday. 66 00:03:33.160 --> 00:03:34.195 Way to go, Scotty! 67 00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:35.793 I love you, too, buddy. 68 00:03:35.960 --> 00:03:37.200 Thank you. Wow! 69 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:39.472 That was fantastic. 70 00:03:40.040 --> 00:03:41.440 We've got one last surprise for you. 71 00:03:41.560 --> 00:03:42.920 That's right. Ladies and gentlemen, 72 00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:44.752 live from her dorm room at Stanford... 73 00:03:44.920 --> 00:03:46.751 it's my sister, Stephanie! 74 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:50.679 Hi, everyone! Hey, honey! 75 00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:53.592 Hey, Steph! Hey, it's Kevin! 76 00:03:53.760 --> 00:03:55.352 Hi, Kevin! Kevin. 77 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:57.317 Can we see? Sorry. 78 00:03:57.480 --> 00:03:59.198 Hi, Momma. Hi! 79 00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:00.395 Hi, Dad. 80 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:01.754 The birthday boy. 81 00:04:01.920 --> 00:04:02.955 Hey, honey. 82 00:04:03.040 --> 00:04:04.871 You guys look like you're having so much fun. 83 00:04:05.040 --> 00:04:06.519 And I wish I could be there with you. 84 00:04:06.720 --> 00:04:08.278 She's so sweet. 85 00:04:08.440 --> 00:04:09.759 Yeah. Get out. 86 00:04:09.920 --> 00:04:12.036 Yeah, I just wanted to say, Dad, that I love you. 87 00:04:12.200 --> 00:04:13.519 I love you, too, honey. 88 00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:14.908 I love you more. No, you don't. 89 00:04:15.080 --> 00:04:16.240 Love you to the moon and back. 90 00:04:16.400 --> 00:04:18.072 I'll let you win this round. Okay, Pops? 91 00:04:19.520 --> 00:04:21.317 Even though you're now like... 92 00:04:22.640 --> 00:04:23.675 ...ancient. 93 00:04:23.840 --> 00:04:25.159 You are still... 94 00:04:25.400 --> 00:04:26.400 What are you doing here? 95 00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:27.993 You asked me to come over. 96 00:04:28.200 --> 00:04:29.696 You're early. I said after 6:00. 97 00:04:29.720 --> 00:04:30.896 All right. Give me a sec, 98 00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:32.016 - I'm on the phone. - Got it. 99 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:33.296 Sorry. It's just my friend. Anyway. 100 00:04:33.320 --> 00:04:36.676 Happy birthday to you 101 00:04:36.880 --> 00:04:38.836 Oh, my goodness. 102 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:40.115 Oh, Laird, what are you... 103 00:04:40.280 --> 00:04:41.336 Go finish your call. 104 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:43.320 I'm just getting ready to Netflix and chill, baby. 105 00:04:43.440 --> 00:04:44.840 No, not now, Laird. Oh, my goodness. 106 00:04:44.920 --> 00:04:45.920 Kimmy Schmidt! 107 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:47.176 Pull up your pants. Marco Polo. 108 00:04:47.200 --> 00:04:48.918 Oh, my God! 109 00:04:50.080 --> 00:04:51.640 How do you make it stop? 110 00:04:51.760 --> 00:04:53.096 Whoa, whoa, Mom, you just took a screenshot. 111 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.475 Happy, happy birthday Happy, happy birthday 112 00:04:55.640 --> 00:04:56.696 Kevin, help her out. Kevin. 113 00:04:56.720 --> 00:04:58.790 Happy birthday, happy birthday 114 00:05:09.840 --> 00:05:13.628 Mi oh my, it's a wonderful life 115 00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:18.510 It's a wonderful life with you by my side 116 00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:22.195 Mi oh my, it's a wonderful life 117 00:05:22.280 --> 00:05:26.990 It's a wonderful life with you by my side 118 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:28.816 Hey, there he is. Happy birthday, Big Cheese. 119 00:05:28.840 --> 00:05:29.840 Thanks, Jim. 120 00:05:31.200 --> 00:05:32.713 Jerry. Hey, Ned. 121 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:33.936 Fun dinner last night. Hey, Jerry. 122 00:05:33.960 --> 00:05:34.960 Thanks. Lou. 123 00:05:35.080 --> 00:05:36.360 Hey, Cheese, can I have a minute? 124 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:38.232 Sure. Good morning, Joyce. 125 00:05:38.440 --> 00:05:39.839 Great party. 126 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:41.638 Hold all his calls. 127 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:45.513 You gotta be kidding me. 128 00:05:45.680 --> 00:05:47.432 Big Lots is bailing out on us? 129 00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:49.318 We've had that account since '06. 130 00:05:49.480 --> 00:05:51.277 They're moving all their print work to China. 131 00:05:51.440 --> 00:05:52.440 Oh, God. 132 00:05:52.600 --> 00:05:55.398 Cheese, we're already getting pummeled by Evite, Stamp-Free 133 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:56.959 and the rest of those dot-coms. 134 00:05:57.120 --> 00:05:59.634 And at this rate, we'll be Chapter 11 by March. 135 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:01.080 What about Dick's Sporting Goods? 136 00:06:01.240 --> 00:06:04.118 Well, I mean, I'm still trading calls with my guy. 137 00:06:04.280 --> 00:06:06.236 But, Ned, can I be honest with you? 138 00:06:06.400 --> 00:06:08.000 I can't keep this from Patty much longer. 139 00:06:08.440 --> 00:06:10.874 Lou, haven't I kept us going? 140 00:06:11.520 --> 00:06:13.795 Yeah. I mean, it's what you do. 141 00:06:13.960 --> 00:06:16.554 I just need a little more time. That's all. 142 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:18.711 You are the maestro. 143 00:06:18.880 --> 00:06:21.075 Maybe you'll pull off a Christmas miracle. 144 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:23.549 Yeah. Yeah. 145 00:06:23.720 --> 00:06:25.915 By the way, good job keeping that game face last night. 146 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:27.000 Oh. Thanks. 147 00:06:27.080 --> 00:06:28.399 That was some shindig, man. 148 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:29.480 Yeah, it was fun. 149 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:31.152 Well, till the kid had his farter 150 00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:32.673 all over the screen in 3-D. 151 00:06:32.840 --> 00:06:33.989 I was like, "Whoa! 152 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:35.480 "That's a lot, man." 153 00:06:35.640 --> 00:06:36.640 And get this... 154 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:38.358 Stephanie now wants us to fly out... 155 00:06:38.520 --> 00:06:41.159 to meet the man behind the crack over the holidays. 156 00:06:41.320 --> 00:06:42.760 With everything that's going on here, 157 00:06:42.880 --> 00:06:44.096 that's the last thing I want to do. 158 00:06:44.120 --> 00:06:45.439 Well, hold on now. 159 00:06:45.520 --> 00:06:47.158 This is the first serious boyfriend? 160 00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:49.391 Yeah. Apparently. 161 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.639 I mean, it's so strange. 162 00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:56.031 I mean, Stephanie and I have always been so close. 163 00:06:56.200 --> 00:06:58.919 And yet she has never even mentioned this guy. 164 00:06:59.080 --> 00:07:00.354 That's the way it goes, Cheese. 165 00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:02.915 I thought I knew everything about Lou Junior, 166 00:07:03.080 --> 00:07:04.280 when he was down at Ohio State. 167 00:07:04.640 --> 00:07:05.789 Out of nowhere, 168 00:07:05.880 --> 00:07:07.757 he comes dragging home this Buckeye 169 00:07:07.920 --> 00:07:10.753 that he's been dating for over a year. 170 00:07:10.920 --> 00:07:12.319 No. Yeah. 171 00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:15.153 Nice girl, but still. She's so controlling. 172 00:07:15.760 --> 00:07:17.318 I'm sorry. I don't mean it like that 173 00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:18.879 because I don't know her that well. 174 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:20.274 But I don't like her. 175 00:07:20.440 --> 00:07:21.668 I don't. Lou. 176 00:07:21.840 --> 00:07:23.353 It's just what happens, you know? 177 00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:25.476 Lou, what is the point of all this? 178 00:07:25.880 --> 00:07:27.199 Go out there and meet him. 179 00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:29.271 I know we going through a lot right now 180 00:07:29.440 --> 00:07:32.830 but hell, Lou Junior is talking about getting married in May. 181 00:07:32.920 --> 00:07:33.920 Married. 182 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:36.070 Once they're not under your roof, 183 00:07:36.200 --> 00:07:38.191 there's no telling what they're into. 184 00:07:38.360 --> 00:07:39.793 Oh, uh, that reminds me. 185 00:07:39.880 --> 00:07:41.336 He does want you to speak at the wedding 186 00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:43.669 and say some kind words. Oh. 187 00:07:43.840 --> 00:07:46.195 I told him that I would talk to you about it. 188 00:07:46.400 --> 00:07:48.960 And they'd like to get married at your house in the backyard. 189 00:07:49.120 --> 00:07:51.031 Well... But anyway... 190 00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:55.313 I'm just saying you might want to get out there and meet this kid. 191 00:07:55.480 --> 00:07:56.708 Because, I mean, you saw it. 192 00:07:56.880 --> 00:07:59.155 You saw it, he's a free spirit. 193 00:07:59.880 --> 00:08:00.880 You mean... 194 00:08:01.080 --> 00:08:02.593 You heard him come into the room. 195 00:08:02.760 --> 00:08:04.512 He came in there guns blazing. 196 00:08:04.680 --> 00:08:07.752 He had that revved up energy where he was like... 197 00:08:07.960 --> 00:08:09.075 bow-bow-bow-bow. 198 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:11.390 He just wants to go and go and go... 199 00:08:11.560 --> 00:08:13.710 and just morning, noon and night, 200 00:08:13.800 --> 00:08:15.199 and "Stephanie, here I am. 201 00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:17.920 "Stephanie, here I come. I'm coming again." 202 00:08:18.080 --> 00:08:19.672 I remember being that age, don't you? 203 00:08:19.840 --> 00:08:21.159 Just always ready. 204 00:08:29.440 --> 00:08:31.016 Come on, it's lovely weather 205 00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:33.235 For a sleigh ride together with you 206 00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:35.314 Thanks for coming. 207 00:08:37.280 --> 00:08:40.716 Oh, gosh, it is so gorgeous here. 208 00:08:40.880 --> 00:08:43.030 I'm very excited that you guys are all out here. 209 00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:44.200 We're very excited. 210 00:08:44.360 --> 00:08:46.096 There's a few things that I wanna tell you about Laird 211 00:08:46.120 --> 00:08:49.032 that I didn't feel like getting into over the phone because... 212 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:50.348 Watch, honey... 213 00:08:50.880 --> 00:08:51.949 You missed our exit. 214 00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:53.496 Actually, I missed it on purpose. 215 00:08:53.520 --> 00:08:54.953 Laird and I thought, 216 00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:57.670 it'd be better if we all stayed at his house. 217 00:08:57.760 --> 00:08:58.795 His house? 218 00:08:58.880 --> 00:09:00.720 When did this come up? Did you know about this? 219 00:09:00.840 --> 00:09:04.071 Are you sure his parents have enough room? 220 00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:05.616 I mean, he doesn't live with his parents. 221 00:09:05.640 --> 00:09:08.029 Honey, we're not gonna be comfortable at some crash pad. 222 00:09:08.200 --> 00:09:10.589 He lives by himself. It's not a crash pad, 223 00:09:10.760 --> 00:09:12.318 but it's much nicer than the Sheraton. 224 00:09:12.480 --> 00:09:13.913 Nicer than the club floor? 225 00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:15.399 I smooth-talked the manager. 226 00:09:15.480 --> 00:09:17.516 We got a suite at the regular rate. 227 00:09:17.680 --> 00:09:19.636 What? That's what I'm talking about, Big Cheese. 228 00:09:19.800 --> 00:09:21.438 That is impressive. We have to turn back. 229 00:09:21.600 --> 00:09:23.192 Free continental breakfast. Yes. 230 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:24.736 Mint on the pillow, turndown service, 231 00:09:24.760 --> 00:09:26.056 all things available at the Sheraton. 232 00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:27.536 I mean, is your lover going to have that? 233 00:09:27.560 --> 00:09:29.790 Your lover? Your lover? 234 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:31.956 We already all know that you've seen his penis. 235 00:09:32.040 --> 00:09:33.109 What? Scott! 236 00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:34.200 What? 237 00:09:38.040 --> 00:09:41.476 Sleigh bells ring Are you listening 238 00:09:41.720 --> 00:09:42.948 Well, this is cute. 239 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:44.872 Actually, this is the gatehouse. 240 00:09:45.480 --> 00:09:46.595 Gatehouse? 241 00:09:46.800 --> 00:09:49.917 A beautiful sight We're happy tonight 242 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:51.000 What the heck? 243 00:09:51.160 --> 00:09:53.310 Is that a facial recognition scanner? 244 00:09:54.520 --> 00:09:55.555 Mmm-hmm. 245 00:09:55.640 --> 00:09:56.834 That's so cool. 246 00:09:57.120 --> 00:10:02.433 Gone away is the bluebird Here to stay is the new bird 247 00:10:02.520 --> 00:10:04.158 The hedge is moving. 248 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:08.114 He sings a love song As we go along 249 00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:10.714 Walking in a winter wonderland 250 00:10:10.800 --> 00:10:13.917 Honey, who exactly are you dating? 251 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:15.976 Laird started this company called Guerrilla Gang. 252 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:17.399 You play Ape Assassins, right? 253 00:10:17.560 --> 00:10:18.754 Are you kidding me? 254 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:20.256 Yeah, that was my jam in the eighth grade. 255 00:10:20.280 --> 00:10:21.280 Great, that's him. 256 00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:23.476 So, he makes video games? 257 00:10:23.680 --> 00:10:25.280 - Apps, Dad. - This is it! 258 00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:26.793 This is his house? Mmm-hmm. 259 00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:29.316 Are you sure this isn't an Apple Store or something? 260 00:10:29.520 --> 00:10:30.760 Oh, my God. 261 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:32.239 What is up, you gang? 262 00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:33.634 I know! 263 00:10:33.800 --> 00:10:35.756 The Flemings are here. You have arrived! 264 00:10:35.920 --> 00:10:37.717 Hi, buddy. Hi. 265 00:10:38.160 --> 00:10:39.434 Hello, sweetheart. 266 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:42.549 Don't touch anything. How was traffic? 267 00:10:42.640 --> 00:10:43.696 It was okay. Hi, they're here! 268 00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:44.720 Hello. 269 00:10:44.800 --> 00:10:46.153 Hello to you, Ned Fleming. 270 00:10:47.760 --> 00:10:48.760 Barbara. Yes. 271 00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:51.110 You are perfect. 272 00:10:51.280 --> 00:10:53.271 Well, thank you. Oh, my God. 273 00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:55.120 And this must be the main man. Scotty, huh? 274 00:10:55.160 --> 00:10:57.151 Yup. All right. Hey. 275 00:10:57.520 --> 00:10:59.033 - Who are you? - Gustav. 276 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:00.553 I am Gustav. Yes. 277 00:11:01.520 --> 00:11:03.078 I never know how to describe you. 278 00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:06.312 Um, well, estate manager is cool, Stephy, yes. 279 00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:07.515 That works. 280 00:11:07.680 --> 00:11:09.875 I used to run the Four Seasons group in Asia 281 00:11:10.040 --> 00:11:11.473 but after some point, you know, 282 00:11:11.640 --> 00:11:13.336 the corporate life becomes a bit of a snooze-fest. 283 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:15.157 You know, "Tiffany's this, Cartier that." 284 00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:17.715 But, you know. Just dot, dot, dot. Enough already. 285 00:11:17.880 --> 00:11:19.472 You know what I'm talking about, Ned. 286 00:11:19.640 --> 00:11:20.840 Oh, yeah. Sure. 287 00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:21.960 Boring. 288 00:11:22.160 --> 00:11:23.673 Where's Laird? Laird is upstairs. 289 00:11:23.840 --> 00:11:25.592 He is just finishing a teleconference. 290 00:11:25.720 --> 00:11:26.720 He'll be right out. 291 00:11:26.800 --> 00:11:28.279 Oh, okay. Why don't we go up then? 292 00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:29.360 Laird, I'm Ned. 293 00:11:29.440 --> 00:11:30.440 No, no, no. 294 00:11:30.520 --> 00:11:31.576 No, this is Randy. That's not Laird. 295 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:32.600 He's our intern. 296 00:11:32.680 --> 00:11:36.036 Just graduated summa cum laude at MIT. 297 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:37.997 So Randy, shake a leg. Get their luggages. 298 00:11:38.160 --> 00:11:39.309 Yes, sir. 299 00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:43.075 The motherfucking Flemings are in the house! 300 00:11:43.160 --> 00:11:44.160 Yes! 301 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:47.030 This is fucking awesome! 302 00:11:47.200 --> 00:11:49.111 Get up here. I'm so psyched to meet you. 303 00:11:49.720 --> 00:11:52.280 Family, baby. Fuck yeah! 304 00:11:53.520 --> 00:11:54.999 Oh, my God. 305 00:11:55.160 --> 00:11:56.513 Scotty. 306 00:11:56.680 --> 00:11:59.752 Yes, my brotha! Welcome. 307 00:11:59.920 --> 00:12:01.148 Hey, Barb. Hi. 308 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:03.869 Oh. 309 00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:05.960 Welcome. 310 00:12:06.160 --> 00:12:08.071 Hey, Ned. All right. 311 00:12:08.160 --> 00:12:09.593 Oh, yes. 312 00:12:10.480 --> 00:12:12.038 Yes. Yes. 313 00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:13.474 Yes. So glad you're here. 314 00:12:13.640 --> 00:12:14.834 Yes. Hey. Hi. 315 00:12:15.040 --> 00:12:16.075 Hey, baby. Hi. 316 00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:18.909 I fucking missed you. 317 00:12:19.080 --> 00:12:21.196 Why aren't you wearing a shirt on your body? 318 00:12:21.280 --> 00:12:22.280 Oh. 319 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:24.520 Don't worry about that. I have a little surprise. 320 00:12:24.600 --> 00:12:27.273 Let's stay half an hour and then we go back to the hotel. 321 00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:29.032 That's a good plan. Thank you. 322 00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:30.553 Dad, come on. This place is so sick. 323 00:12:30.680 --> 00:12:32.477 Yeah, it's sick. 25 minutes. 324 00:12:32.560 --> 00:12:33.560 That's it. 325 00:12:37.760 --> 00:12:40.149 Hey! Just leave her alone. 326 00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:41.713 Hey, oh, Ned. Ned. 327 00:12:41.880 --> 00:12:44.314 Ned, would you look at that. 328 00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:45.833 That's your face, Sis. Oh. 329 00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:47.194 Very good likeness. 330 00:12:47.320 --> 00:12:48.389 Oh, thanks. Yeah. 331 00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:51.199 The Stephy tattoo. I got it, like, a week after we met, right? 332 00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:52.918 One week. You know, right on my heart. 333 00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:55.315 Great. Okay, do you guys want to go see the house? 334 00:12:55.480 --> 00:12:56.520 Uh... We probably should... 335 00:12:56.680 --> 00:12:58.671 We came to stop and say hey. Yeah. We should go. 336 00:12:58.880 --> 00:12:59.880 Actually, no. 337 00:13:00.040 --> 00:13:02.600 No. Before we go, um... 338 00:13:02.800 --> 00:13:04.392 I have a little surprise for everybody. 339 00:13:04.560 --> 00:13:06.710 Shit. I'm fucking nervous. 340 00:13:06.880 --> 00:13:08.096 Do you want to consult me about it? 341 00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:09.256 You want to talk to me before you... 342 00:13:09.280 --> 00:13:11.271 You know what? No, I'm just jumpin' in. All right? 343 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:12.480 I'm just going to do this. 344 00:13:12.560 --> 00:13:14.312 Laird, it's going to be fucking great. 345 00:13:14.520 --> 00:13:16.078 Ta-da! 346 00:13:16.760 --> 00:13:17.829 Oh, my God. 347 00:13:18.600 --> 00:13:20.238 I just got it done this morning 348 00:13:20.400 --> 00:13:21.958 Yeah. I bet it's red, huh? 349 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:23.189 I need a little feedback. 350 00:13:23.400 --> 00:13:25.436 Is that our Christmas card? Yes. 351 00:13:25.600 --> 00:13:28.273 Yeah! That's exactly what I used. How'd you know? 352 00:13:28.440 --> 00:13:29.616 Look, he even got Noodle in there. 353 00:13:29.640 --> 00:13:30.789 Hurt like balls. 354 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:34.396 Gosh, it says "Happy Holidays" and everything. 355 00:13:34.560 --> 00:13:35.629 What? 356 00:13:35.800 --> 00:13:37.677 Get the fuck out of here. Okay. 357 00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:39.114 It says "Happy Holidays?" 358 00:13:39.280 --> 00:13:40.280 Barb, fuck you. 359 00:13:40.440 --> 00:13:41.634 God damn. 360 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:43.512 I gave the guy the Christmas card. 361 00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:45.136 I didn't know he put "Happy Holidays" on there. 362 00:13:45.160 --> 00:13:46.513 Wow. Fuck. 363 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:48.472 Guess it's stuck on there, huh? 364 00:13:48.680 --> 00:13:49.908 Oops. Fuck. 365 00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:51.991 Well, you know, you guys were coming over... 366 00:13:52.160 --> 00:13:54.913 I was so excited, I just had to do something, you know? 367 00:13:55.080 --> 00:13:57.674 Well, that is something, all right. 368 00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:00.559 You know what? Sometimes, you just got to say, "Fuck it." 369 00:14:00.680 --> 00:14:01.680 Fuck it! 370 00:14:01.760 --> 00:14:02.829 You should... Laird, 371 00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:04.911 this is a 15-year-old child. 372 00:14:05.080 --> 00:14:06.513 So, we don't really... 373 00:14:06.680 --> 00:14:08.238 Oh, shit. 374 00:14:08.400 --> 00:14:10.595 - You don't say fuck? - No, Mom, I... 375 00:14:10.760 --> 00:14:11.760 Heck yeah, I cuss. 376 00:14:11.920 --> 00:14:12.955 No, you don't. 377 00:14:13.160 --> 00:14:14.160 You do? Yeah. 378 00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:15.673 Oh, he cusses. No, you don't. 379 00:14:15.800 --> 00:14:17.096 Yeah, bro, what's your favorite cuss word? 380 00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:18.120 Oh, boy. 381 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:19.280 Don't egg him on like that. 382 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:20.395 What's your favorite? 383 00:14:21.160 --> 00:14:23.071 - Uh... - Hmm. 384 00:14:24.280 --> 00:14:25.349 Titties. 385 00:14:25.520 --> 00:14:26.839 Titties? Titties. 386 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:28.240 Stop it. Stop that. 387 00:14:28.280 --> 00:14:29.713 Titties? Classic. 388 00:14:29.880 --> 00:14:31.871 Okay. We should be going. 389 00:14:32.040 --> 00:14:33.553 Nice one. What else you got? Asshole. 390 00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:35.216 Asshole. All right. That's enough. 391 00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:36.376 Okay. Another good body part. 392 00:14:36.400 --> 00:14:37.833 What else? Dicking. Double dicking. 393 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:39.479 Double dicking. Okay. 394 00:14:39.640 --> 00:14:40.834 Wait. Hold on. Double dicking? 395 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:42.656 Are you happy? That's a new one on me, bro. 396 00:14:42.680 --> 00:14:43.680 What the fuck is that? 397 00:14:43.800 --> 00:14:46.030 What the hell is that? Is that like dick to dick? 398 00:14:46.200 --> 00:14:49.476 Okay! Good night! We're going to the hotel. 399 00:14:49.640 --> 00:14:52.757 This kid is nasty and I fucking like it. 400 00:14:52.920 --> 00:14:54.239 Yeah. Yes! 401 00:14:54.400 --> 00:14:55.833 All right, let's do the tour. 402 00:14:56.040 --> 00:14:57.216 I'll show you around! All right? 403 00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:58.468 Just throw your shit anywhere. 404 00:14:58.640 --> 00:14:59.960 You little double-dicker, come on. 405 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.040 Throw your stuff anywhere. 406 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:02.314 By the way, I'm a huge fan. 407 00:15:02.400 --> 00:15:03.719 I'm part of the online Ape Army. 408 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:04.840 Awesome. 409 00:15:04.920 --> 00:15:07.440 You know, this is what I was trying to tell you guys in the car. 410 00:15:07.560 --> 00:15:09.118 This is okay here? 411 00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:11.358 Do you want to take your coat off? 412 00:15:11.520 --> 00:15:13.112 Uh, no. Nope. I'm fine. 413 00:15:13.280 --> 00:15:14.599 Come on, guys. 414 00:15:15.560 --> 00:15:16.736 All right, so this here's the kitch. 415 00:15:16.760 --> 00:15:18.273 This is where we keep the food. 416 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:19.475 The dining room. 417 00:15:19.640 --> 00:15:22.279 That's a sculpture of a couple people fucking. 418 00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:24.711 Painting of a fat squirrel. 419 00:15:24.800 --> 00:15:26.552 And this one's called "Triple Team," 420 00:15:26.680 --> 00:15:27.999 self-explanatory. 421 00:15:28.880 --> 00:15:30.438 All right. This is the den. 422 00:15:30.600 --> 00:15:33.433 These dudes are just testing out video games. 423 00:15:34.400 --> 00:15:37.392 Ned, Stephy says that you're pretty serious about your bowling, 424 00:15:38.440 --> 00:15:40.351 so I had a couple lanes installed. 425 00:15:41.160 --> 00:15:42.195 Oh, my God. 426 00:15:42.280 --> 00:15:43.376 None of this was here? 427 00:15:43.400 --> 00:15:44.400 No. 428 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:47.517 You said you were fixing a crack in the foundation. 429 00:15:47.680 --> 00:15:49.272 Is that us? 430 00:15:49.640 --> 00:15:51.870 Yeah, I got the images off your league's Facebook page. 431 00:15:52.040 --> 00:15:53.189 That's so insane. 432 00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:55.828 Dad, look, he even got in your signature "crotch chop." 433 00:15:56.600 --> 00:15:57.828 Oh, yeah. 434 00:15:58.040 --> 00:15:59.040 Wow. 435 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:01.336 All right, this here is where we develop a few apps 436 00:16:01.360 --> 00:16:03.237 for the Apple and Android platforms. 437 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:05.158 Hey, gang, say hi to the Flemings. 438 00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:06.429 Hey, guys. Hey, what's up? 439 00:16:06.600 --> 00:16:09.398 Wait, I don't understand. Do your employees live here? 440 00:16:09.560 --> 00:16:12.358 Uh, maybe some of them do. I don't really know. 441 00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:15.550 Gustav is actually an amazing architect. 442 00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:17.278 We designed this place together. 443 00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:19.396 When did you go to Machu Picchu? 444 00:16:19.560 --> 00:16:21.471 Hun, when did you put these up? 445 00:16:21.640 --> 00:16:23.358 What the heck is that moose? 446 00:16:23.520 --> 00:16:24.669 That's a Phillip Manfredi. 447 00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:26.068 Great pick-up, Barb. 448 00:16:26.240 --> 00:16:29.277 Stephy told me that you're this amazing art and photography professor. 449 00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:31.032 - That's awesome. - Mmm-hmm. 450 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:34.431 I teach a couple of classes at a local community college. 451 00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:36.079 Don't be so modest, Mom. 452 00:16:36.160 --> 00:16:38.116 You're an amazing photographer. 453 00:16:38.280 --> 00:16:40.271 Oh, that looks like a real dead moose. 454 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:43.794 Well, that's exactly what it is, Ned. 455 00:16:43.960 --> 00:16:46.679 A dead moose suspended in its own urine. 456 00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:48.478 It's meant to symbolize the way 457 00:16:48.560 --> 00:16:50.835 that our culture has imprisoned our minds. 458 00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:53.080 Oh. 459 00:16:53.560 --> 00:16:54.595 I got to tell you, Ned, 460 00:16:54.680 --> 00:16:56.989 great art really gets me aroused. 461 00:16:57.160 --> 00:16:59.720 It's actually a very strong aphrodisiac. 462 00:16:59.800 --> 00:17:00.835 Laird. 463 00:17:00.920 --> 00:17:03.536 Not that you need any help getting turned on by that gorgeous woman. 464 00:17:03.560 --> 00:17:04.629 Honey. 465 00:17:04.800 --> 00:17:06.438 What? Your mom is beautiful. 466 00:17:06.560 --> 00:17:08.471 She is. She deserves some props for that. 467 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:11.632 Well, I'll take a compliment wherever I can get one. 468 00:17:11.840 --> 00:17:14.070 Well, here's another one. You got a bangin' bod, too. 469 00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:15.195 All right. 470 00:17:15.280 --> 00:17:16.554 Hey, what's going on, everyone? 471 00:17:16.760 --> 00:17:18.318 Richard Blais, everybody. 472 00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:21.995 This is the maestro of molecular gastronomy. 473 00:17:22.320 --> 00:17:23.673 Oh, my God. 474 00:17:23.760 --> 00:17:25.990 That's that cute one from Top Chef. 475 00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:27.798 Oh, he's the one who goes, "Bam!" 476 00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:31.236 No, that's Emeril. He's a fucking dick, that guy. 477 00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:32.668 Dickie Blais what's up? 478 00:17:32.840 --> 00:17:36.435 Yeah, so Laird thought it would be a fun idea to do a pop-up restaurant 479 00:17:36.600 --> 00:17:37.680 just in your honor tonight. 480 00:17:37.800 --> 00:17:39.313 Did he? Yeah. 481 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:41.198 And I have here a little amuse-bouche. 482 00:17:41.360 --> 00:17:43.296 So if anyone's looking for a little pre-dinner snack, 483 00:17:43.320 --> 00:17:44.389 you can head on up here. 484 00:17:44.560 --> 00:17:46.232 Count me in, 'cause I'm famished. 485 00:17:46.320 --> 00:17:47.320 All right. 486 00:17:47.400 --> 00:17:48.520 There are so many surprises. 487 00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:50.640 I know. 488 00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:52.016 You're hungry, you've come to the right place. 489 00:17:52.040 --> 00:17:53.519 I've got surf and turf for you. 490 00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:54.795 Steak and lobster. 491 00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:56.075 Yum, yum. 492 00:17:57.040 --> 00:18:01.113 My version of surf and turf, edible soil and plankton foam. 493 00:18:01.280 --> 00:18:02.759 Dig in. Oh. 494 00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:05.189 Wow, can't wait for dinner. 495 00:18:05.360 --> 00:18:06.360 No. 496 00:18:07.120 --> 00:18:09.680 Hey, so I think it's going great, right? 497 00:18:09.840 --> 00:18:11.717 I think they've already accepted me. 498 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:14.314 I'm getting a little bit of a different vibe. 499 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.913 Oh, really? Like what? 500 00:18:16.080 --> 00:18:17.399 Don't try so hard. 501 00:18:17.560 --> 00:18:18.834 I'm not, what do you mean? 502 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:20.911 You put in a bowling alley for my dad 503 00:18:21.120 --> 00:18:23.953 and you got a tattoo of my entire family on your back. 504 00:18:24.360 --> 00:18:25.395 Oh. 505 00:18:25.520 --> 00:18:26.520 Was the tattoo too much? 506 00:18:26.600 --> 00:18:27.715 Yes. Fuck. 507 00:18:28.560 --> 00:18:30.437 Shit, I knew it. 508 00:18:30.600 --> 00:18:32.079 Yeah, Gustav said the same thing. 509 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:33.309 Okay, don't worry... 510 00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:36.392 I won't get any more tattoos of them while they're here. 511 00:18:36.560 --> 00:18:37.629 Thank you. Okay. 512 00:18:37.840 --> 00:18:38.875 I love you. 513 00:18:39.520 --> 00:18:41.272 I love you, too. 514 00:18:44.360 --> 00:18:45.360 Okay. 515 00:18:46.520 --> 00:18:48.456 Oh, one more thing, stop calling them motherfuckers 516 00:18:48.480 --> 00:18:50.118 and talking about how hot my mom is. 517 00:18:50.280 --> 00:18:52.999 Well, she's sneaky sexy, took me by surprise. 518 00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:57.073 Dude, she is a MILF, like a genuine MILF. 519 00:18:57.280 --> 00:19:00.397 And if it wasn't your MILF, she'd be a MIWF... 520 00:19:00.560 --> 00:19:02.073 a mother I would fuck. 521 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:03.275 Mmm-mmm. 522 00:19:03.360 --> 00:19:04.998 But I won't. Okay. 523 00:19:06.040 --> 00:19:07.871 Of course. Thank you. 524 00:19:13.080 --> 00:19:14.638 All right, it's pretty. Yeah. 525 00:19:14.840 --> 00:19:15.840 You know... 526 00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:19.640 It's a lot. 527 00:19:19.840 --> 00:19:22.479 Yes! I mean, the moose... Yes. 528 00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:24.318 And the language. Come on! 529 00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:26.038 Mmm-hmm. A real moose! 530 00:19:26.160 --> 00:19:28.230 And he's coming onto your mother. That's not okay. 531 00:19:28.320 --> 00:19:29.594 And the tattoo? 532 00:19:30.080 --> 00:19:31.957 The tattoo! And how... 533 00:19:32.120 --> 00:19:33.758 534 Oh. my. And you're... 535 00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:35.069 22. Yes! 536 00:19:35.240 --> 00:19:37.310 You didn't like the mural of you and Scotty 537 00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:38.600 down in the new bowling alley? 538 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:40.756 The bowling alley with the mural is... 539 00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:42.438 And the bowling alley is regulation. 540 00:19:42.600 --> 00:19:44.113 That's quite nice 541 00:19:44.280 --> 00:19:47.192 and that's very rare to have something that nice. 542 00:19:47.360 --> 00:19:48.696 And the polish that he used was quite... 543 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.720 It was good. But... 544 00:19:49.880 --> 00:19:50.949 I'm sorry. 545 00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:55.480 I should have told you. 546 00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:58.952 About everything, of course. 547 00:19:59.520 --> 00:20:02.557 Honestly, I didn't know how to explain him over the phone. 548 00:20:02.760 --> 00:20:04.432 I just kept imagining... 549 00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:06.153 Mom Googling Laird Mayhew 550 00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:08.629 and you guys jumping to conclusions 551 00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.029 before you even got a chance to know him. 552 00:20:11.840 --> 00:20:13.592 Well, now we know him. 553 00:20:14.440 --> 00:20:15.714 No, you don't. 554 00:20:15.800 --> 00:20:17.438 You've been here for 15 minutes. 555 00:20:18.560 --> 00:20:19.560 Yeah. 556 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.558 Thank you. 557 00:20:23.400 --> 00:20:24.896 I wouldn't have asked you to come out here 558 00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:26.120 and miss Christmas in Michigan 559 00:20:26.280 --> 00:20:29.556 for the first time ever, if he wasn't... 560 00:20:29.720 --> 00:20:31.039 ...really important to me. 561 00:20:37.600 --> 00:20:38.669 Hmm. 562 00:20:40.320 --> 00:20:41.320 Okay. 563 00:20:43.080 --> 00:20:45.150 You'll give him a chance? 564 00:20:45.320 --> 00:20:47.675 Okay. Okay, thank you. Thank you. 565 00:20:48.120 --> 00:20:49.872 Come here. 566 00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:55.480 I love you. 567 00:20:55.640 --> 00:20:57.039 I love you, too. 568 00:21:00.600 --> 00:21:03.398 So if I did Google him, what would I find? 569 00:21:03.480 --> 00:21:04.480 Don't do it. 570 00:21:04.600 --> 00:21:05.600 Oh. 571 00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:06.715 Just don't Google him. 572 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:07.880 Oh. 573 00:21:09.520 --> 00:21:11.317 Well, I still don't see it. 574 00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:15.351 Darling, this is the male, and he's thrusting. 575 00:21:15.520 --> 00:21:16.520 Oh, God. 576 00:21:16.560 --> 00:21:19.313 All right, everybody, dinner is served! 577 00:21:19.480 --> 00:21:21.516 Scotty! Come on, grab a stump. 578 00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:23.875 Dad, you wanna go there? Mom. 579 00:21:24.040 --> 00:21:25.656 You sure you don't want to take off your coat? 580 00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:26.680 No. I'm good. 581 00:21:26.840 --> 00:21:28.990 We do it family style here, so everyone just dig in. 582 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:30.479 It's super cas. 583 00:21:30.680 --> 00:21:32.875 Okay, so we have three dishes for this evening. 584 00:21:33.040 --> 00:21:34.996 We have sous-vide geoduck. 585 00:21:35.160 --> 00:21:36.957 We have Mission-style sea urchin burritos... 586 00:21:37.040 --> 00:21:38.040 Yum. 587 00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:39.394 ...with edible paper. 588 00:21:39.840 --> 00:21:41.398 Because you're a printer. 589 00:21:41.560 --> 00:21:43.039 And last but not least... Sweet. 590 00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:45.839 ...we have smoked California bear. 591 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:47.000 Enjoy. 592 00:21:47.040 --> 00:21:48.393 Oh, shit! 593 00:21:48.560 --> 00:21:49.709 Thanks, Blais. 594 00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:51.199 - Bear? - Mmm. 595 00:21:51.360 --> 00:21:52.640 Yo, Scotty, you see The Revenant? 596 00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:53.994 No, I wanted to, 597 00:21:54.080 --> 00:21:56.216 but my parents don't really let me watch R-rated movies. 598 00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:57.880 You're darn right we don't. He's only 15. 599 00:21:57.960 --> 00:22:00.235 You want some paper? Yes, certainly. Thank you. 600 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.879 I don't know what section that is. 601 00:22:02.040 --> 00:22:04.156 Because that bear fucked that dude up! 602 00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:05.593 Now we're gonna fuck this bear up. 603 00:22:05.800 --> 00:22:07.233 Hey, what about that language? 604 00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:08.400 Oh, shit. Sorry. 605 00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:11.036 Ah, I think I've got the arts section here. 606 00:22:12.600 --> 00:22:14.272 You better slow down, Barb. 607 00:22:14.440 --> 00:22:16.440 You're gonna be full before you get to the funnies. 608 00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:19.475 Ned. 609 00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:28.076 So, um, how did you two meet? 610 00:22:28.440 --> 00:22:30.749 Uh, you want me to go? Yeah. 611 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:31.880 Okay. 612 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:34.195 Laird sponsored a talk on campus 613 00:22:34.280 --> 00:22:35.599 with Doctor Joanne Liu, 614 00:22:35.760 --> 00:22:37.160 the head of Doctors Without Borders. 615 00:22:37.280 --> 00:22:38.280 Oh! 616 00:22:38.320 --> 00:22:40.356 Melinda Gates got me totally pumped 617 00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:41.880 about issues in the developing world. 618 00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:42.960 Now I'm obsessed. 619 00:22:43.280 --> 00:22:44.315 Wow. 620 00:22:45.120 --> 00:22:46.792 - That's Bill Gates' wife. - Yeah. 621 00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:48.279 - She's great. - Yeah. 622 00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:49.759 That's terrific. 623 00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:52.480 That's Steph's field of interest, too, so that's great. 624 00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:53.749 Yeah, I know. 625 00:22:53.840 --> 00:22:55.400 Ned, you should've seen her at the talk. 626 00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:58.756 She asked the most intelligent question. I was blown away. 627 00:22:59.640 --> 00:23:00.959 Really? What did I say? 628 00:23:01.120 --> 00:23:02.235 You were like... 629 00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:03.616 "Hey, what's the connection between 630 00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:05.915 "women's health and population density 631 00:23:06.120 --> 00:23:07.599 "in indigenous communities?" 632 00:23:07.760 --> 00:23:09.990 I was like, "Bam! Who's that?" 633 00:23:10.200 --> 00:23:11.792 That's so sweet of you to remember that. 634 00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:13.791 Of course I remember. Mmm... 635 00:23:13.960 --> 00:23:15.840 - The first time I saw you. - That's our girl. 636 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:17.776 She's always been the smartest person in the room. 637 00:23:17.800 --> 00:23:18.800 So true. Yeah. 638 00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:20.990 And the sexiest. My God. Well. 639 00:23:21.160 --> 00:23:23.196 I couldn't keep my eyes off her. 640 00:23:23.360 --> 00:23:24.679 Her hair, and her eyes. 641 00:23:24.760 --> 00:23:25.795 Very pretty eyes. 642 00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:27.518 The way her spine gently arches 643 00:23:27.600 --> 00:23:29.158 to meet the top of her tailbone. 644 00:23:29.320 --> 00:23:31.816 I just wanna pitch a tent and live in there. You know what I mean? 645 00:23:31.840 --> 00:23:32.960 No. You're taking it too far. 646 00:23:33.480 --> 00:23:35.118 Quite the outdoorsman. 647 00:23:35.280 --> 00:23:36.872 I just mean she's got a great body. 648 00:23:37.040 --> 00:23:38.553 Oh, well, yes. Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 649 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:39.994 She's a darling girl. 650 00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:41.296 - Like you, Barb. - Great genes. 651 00:23:41.320 --> 00:23:42.320 Okay. 652 00:23:42.360 --> 00:23:43.554 Two fit women. 653 00:23:43.720 --> 00:23:45.358 I'll have to agree with you there. 654 00:23:45.520 --> 00:23:47.317 Ol' Slamming Bod Barb. 655 00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:50.710 Two fit women and two lucky dudes... 656 00:23:51.360 --> 00:23:52.509 And one double-dicker. 657 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:56.831 Okay, well. 658 00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:01.198 Laird, when did you graduate from Stanford? 659 00:24:01.520 --> 00:24:03.192 Oh, I didn't go to Stanford, bro. 660 00:24:03.320 --> 00:24:04.920 I hardly even graduated from high school. 661 00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:06.868 He's being modest. 662 00:24:07.040 --> 00:24:08.176 He actually started writing code 663 00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:10.555 for Sun Microsystems when he was 13. 664 00:24:10.760 --> 00:24:12.318 That's true. Wow, that's just like me. 665 00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:14.120 I've been interning at the Fleming Company 666 00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:15.519 since, what, the seventh grade? 667 00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:16.869 Mm-hmm. Yup. 668 00:24:17.040 --> 00:24:18.996 Future CEO, but you are going to college. 669 00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:21.656 I know, Dad. I know. I know. Just like your sister. 670 00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:23.671 So, Steph, weren't your surprised 671 00:24:23.840 --> 00:24:26.673 that this big tech mogul wanted to date you? 672 00:24:28.560 --> 00:24:31.154 He said he was some low-level programmer at Uber. 673 00:24:31.360 --> 00:24:33.669 I had no idea that he sponsored the entire event. 674 00:24:33.840 --> 00:24:34.875 So he lied to you. 675 00:24:35.040 --> 00:24:36.359 Oh, Ned, I had to. 676 00:24:36.520 --> 00:24:38.875 I mean there are so many gold diggers in Silicon Valley. 677 00:24:39.080 --> 00:24:41.389 They just wanna fuck you for your tech money. 678 00:24:41.560 --> 00:24:43.232 Language, baby. You gotta be careful. 679 00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:45.391 I didn't spill the beans till April. 680 00:24:45.560 --> 00:24:48.518 April? That's eight months ago. What? 681 00:24:48.680 --> 00:24:50.033 Steph, over the phone, you said 682 00:24:50.120 --> 00:24:51.856 you've only known each other for a couple of months. 683 00:24:51.880 --> 00:24:53.916 It was super casual at first. No. 684 00:24:54.080 --> 00:24:55.115 No, it was not. 685 00:24:55.280 --> 00:24:57.430 We exchanged I love you's on the third date. 686 00:24:57.600 --> 00:24:59.016 Remember? Right after we... The third date? 687 00:24:59.040 --> 00:25:00.216 made love in the hot tub at Esalen in Big Sur? 688 00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:01.240 No, no, no. 689 00:25:01.280 --> 00:25:03.236 Where, what? Esalen in Big Sur. 690 00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:04.435 Really? 691 00:25:04.560 --> 00:25:06.596 Ned. Don't get the wrong idea. 692 00:25:06.760 --> 00:25:09.593 It was not sexual at all. It was so much more than that. 693 00:25:09.760 --> 00:25:10.920 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm confused. 694 00:25:11.080 --> 00:25:12.399 Did you have intercourse or not? 695 00:25:12.560 --> 00:25:13.788 Scotty, shut it. 696 00:25:13.960 --> 00:25:15.376 Dad, I'm just trying to connect the dots here. 697 00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:16.799 Look. Yeah, we did. 698 00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:20.555 But what I'm saying is I was transformed. 699 00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:23.757 Stephy opened up like a flower. 700 00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:25.319 You should have seen it. 701 00:25:25.480 --> 00:25:28.438 I shouldn't have seen it, but now I feel like I have. 702 00:25:28.600 --> 00:25:29.999 I just want your parents to know 703 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:31.360 that you're living with someone 704 00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:33.152 who's completely devoted to you. 705 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:35.592 Wait a minute. What-ing with someone? 706 00:25:35.760 --> 00:25:37.796 You say you're living together? Yeah. 707 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:40.434 No. We do not. 708 00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:42.631 Okay, five nights out of seven. 709 00:25:43.760 --> 00:25:45.512 Your stuff is here. 710 00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:47.000 You don't really stay at the dorm. 711 00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:49.600 Do you have a toothbrush here? 712 00:25:49.760 --> 00:25:50.760 Yeah. That's cohabitating. 713 00:25:50.920 --> 00:25:52.797 Scotty, stop talking and eat your paper. 714 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:54.678 Dad, we do not live together. 715 00:25:54.840 --> 00:25:56.319 Yeah, we're cohabitating. 716 00:26:01.520 --> 00:26:03.636 "Opened up like a flower." 717 00:26:03.800 --> 00:26:06.633 Honey, I'm looking at the Esalen website right now 718 00:26:06.800 --> 00:26:08.313 and there's nothing dirty about it. 719 00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:11.153 You go up there for yoga classes and things like that. 720 00:26:11.320 --> 00:26:13.993 They've been practically living together for a year. 721 00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:15.639 Why didn't she just tell us that? 722 00:26:16.320 --> 00:26:18.197 Where the heck are the towels? 723 00:26:19.040 --> 00:26:20.871 He's even affected Scotty. 724 00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:25.997 What is a double dicking, for crying out loud? 725 00:26:27.520 --> 00:26:28.555 Oh. Uh... 726 00:26:28.680 --> 00:26:29.680 There she is. 727 00:26:29.840 --> 00:26:31.273 Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. She's gonna... 728 00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:33.440 She better explain what the heck is going on here. 729 00:26:33.520 --> 00:26:34.520 All right, so be nice. 730 00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:36.976 Be like, "Oh, my God. I love your boyfriend. He's so normal." 731 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.194 I'm good. 732 00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:40.315 Hi. 733 00:26:41.360 --> 00:26:42.395 Hi, uh... 734 00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:46.312 I thought you'd be Stephanie. 735 00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:47.515 Steph's super pooped. 736 00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:50.672 We had a big fight because of the way I behaved at dinner. 737 00:26:50.840 --> 00:26:53.080 Don't worry, we took a shower together and worked it out. 738 00:26:53.720 --> 00:26:56.029 But I snuck out to have a little check in. 739 00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:57.200 Okay. Well... 740 00:27:05.720 --> 00:27:07.995 Ned, would you come join us? 741 00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:10.359 I'm good here. 742 00:27:10.560 --> 00:27:12.869 Oh, please. This is an Alaskan king. 743 00:27:13.040 --> 00:27:14.553 There's so much room. 744 00:27:16.080 --> 00:27:17.513 So much room. 745 00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:20.231 It'd really mean a lot to me. Please? 746 00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:23.029 Okay. 747 00:27:23.760 --> 00:27:24.760 Hey. 748 00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:34.069 I owe you two an apology. 749 00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:35.240 When I get nervous 750 00:27:35.400 --> 00:27:38.039 all kinds of crap comes flying out of my mouth 751 00:27:38.200 --> 00:27:40.031 and I know that's not how you guys roll. 752 00:27:40.120 --> 00:27:41.120 No. 753 00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:43.071 I was just trying to make a good impression. 754 00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:44.912 Yeah. Well, you did. It was... 755 00:27:45.080 --> 00:27:47.116 I mean you didn't, but it's okay. 756 00:27:47.280 --> 00:27:50.352 It was an awkward dinner. 757 00:27:50.560 --> 00:27:52.278 It was a unique situation for... 758 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:54.072 Yeah, but let's all just move on. 759 00:27:54.760 --> 00:27:56.478 Okay. Great. 760 00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:57.640 Truth be told, 761 00:27:57.800 --> 00:28:01.031 I haven't spent a lot of time with parental figures. 762 00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:04.312 I don't know if you know this, but I never knew my father. 763 00:28:04.920 --> 00:28:07.559 Yeah, he picked up my mom in this bar in Oakland. 764 00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:10.837 They had some sloppy car sex, and then never spoke again. 765 00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:11.955 Yeah. 766 00:28:12.080 --> 00:28:14.230 I'm not really close with my mom, either. 767 00:28:15.120 --> 00:28:18.590 To be frank, she's kind of a motherfucking bitch. 768 00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:22.596 If I had a nickel for every time I... 769 00:28:23.320 --> 00:28:24.389 Yeah. 770 00:28:24.560 --> 00:28:26.755 We're sorry to hear that. 771 00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:28.638 That's some tough stuff, pal. 772 00:28:28.800 --> 00:28:30.074 Yup. That's... 773 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:31.640 That's... 774 00:28:31.800 --> 00:28:33.995 All right. Well, it's getting late, so... 775 00:28:34.120 --> 00:28:35.120 Yeah. 776 00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:36.957 I'm in love with your daughter, dudes. 777 00:28:37.120 --> 00:28:38.394 And I'm just so fucking psyched 778 00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:40.311 to get to know the people that raised her. 779 00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:41.515 Mmm-hmm. 780 00:28:42.600 --> 00:28:45.353 And we're gonna do Christmas just like you do at home. 781 00:28:45.520 --> 00:28:46.555 Tomorrow night, 782 00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:48.949 I'm gonna throw a party in your honor. 783 00:28:49.800 --> 00:28:51.016 Oh, you don't have to go to the trouble. 784 00:28:51.040 --> 00:28:52.109 You don't... It's not. 785 00:28:52.200 --> 00:28:54.760 We're gonna do all the holiday shit. 786 00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:57.436 Okay. Hmm. All the shit. 787 00:28:57.760 --> 00:28:59.990 Ned, I'd love some guy time with you. 788 00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:02.310 So maybe we could take a walk tomorrow morning? 789 00:29:03.320 --> 00:29:04.799 Okay. Okay, cool. 790 00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:07.110 Justine, will you set Ned an alarm for 6:30 a.m.? 791 00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:08.280 You got it, Laird. 792 00:29:08.320 --> 00:29:12.199 Ned, an alarm's been set for you for 6:30 en la mañana. 793 00:29:12.360 --> 00:29:13.918 What? Who is that? 794 00:29:15.520 --> 00:29:17.033 That's Justine. 795 00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:20.192 Yeah, she's like Siri, but awesome. 796 00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:22.197 I got that chick from The Big Bang Theory, 797 00:29:22.360 --> 00:29:23.679 Kaley Cuoco, to do the voice. 798 00:29:23.840 --> 00:29:24.840 J, say hi. 799 00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:27.190 Hey, Ned. Hey, Barb. How are you guys? 800 00:29:29.040 --> 00:29:30.075 - Hi. - Oh, my God. 801 00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:31.792 Stephanie's told me so much about you. 802 00:29:31.880 --> 00:29:33.359 Anything you need, I'm here. 803 00:29:33.520 --> 00:29:34.669 - Okay. - Thank you. 804 00:29:34.840 --> 00:29:36.990 She can't... Can she see us? 805 00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:41.315 She says that she can't, but I think that she can. 806 00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:43.240 What the fuck are you talking about? 807 00:29:43.360 --> 00:29:44.509 You know I can't see them. 808 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:47.069 She's a perv. 809 00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:48.240 Laird. 810 00:29:48.360 --> 00:29:51.352 Anyway, I hope you two have a nice night's rest. 811 00:29:51.560 --> 00:29:53.039 Yeah, have a good night. Great night. 812 00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:54.235 Have a great night. Yeah. 813 00:29:56.360 --> 00:29:58.396 My instinct is to hug you right now. 814 00:29:58.560 --> 00:30:00.278 - Oh. No. - I don't think you... 815 00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:01.629 That's okay. Oh. 816 00:30:01.800 --> 00:30:03.711 Oh, my God. Barb. 817 00:30:03.880 --> 00:30:05.074 Good night. 818 00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:11.000 Peace. 819 00:30:23.080 --> 00:30:25.230 Baby, I want to trim your... 820 00:30:26.200 --> 00:30:28.555 Baby, I want to trim your... 821 00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:31.589 Baby, I want to trim your... 822 00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:34.391 Beautiful Christmas tree 823 00:30:35.080 --> 00:30:37.913 I'm gonna bring along my hatchet 824 00:30:38.600 --> 00:30:40.909 My beautiful Christmas balls 825 00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:44.438 I'll sprinkle my snow upon your tree 826 00:30:44.600 --> 00:30:47.751 And hang a mistletoe on your walls 827 00:30:48.320 --> 00:30:50.311 Baby, I want to trim your... 828 00:30:50.760 --> 00:30:54.958 Oh, beautiful Christmas tree 829 00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:11.556 Barb? There's no toilet paper. 830 00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:12.680 Uh-oh. 831 00:31:12.840 --> 00:31:14.398 Would you get a roll for me, please? 832 00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:15.953 Papa make a poopie? 833 00:31:16.120 --> 00:31:17.951 Yes. I made a poopie. 834 00:31:18.120 --> 00:31:19.394 Did Daddy do a doo-doo? 835 00:31:19.600 --> 00:31:21.636 Barb, just get the toilet paper, please? 836 00:31:21.800 --> 00:31:23.392 All right. Well, you sit tight. 837 00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:24.833 I'm gonna go find you some TP. 838 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:26.000 Thank you. 839 00:31:28.160 --> 00:31:29.160 Of course. 840 00:31:30.120 --> 00:31:31.792 Mr. Playboy. 841 00:31:31.960 --> 00:31:33.632 Unbelievable. 842 00:31:34.280 --> 00:31:35.349 Who is that? 843 00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:38.471 She's a bit of a Plain Jane. 844 00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:39.834 Darling? Yeah. Yup. 845 00:31:40.040 --> 00:31:42.759 Just, um, crack the door and toss the roll, please. 846 00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:45.997 It's gonna be a little more complicated than that. 847 00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:47.639 Good morning, Ned. 848 00:31:48.320 --> 00:31:49.469 It's Gustav. 849 00:31:49.600 --> 00:31:50.600 Great. 850 00:31:50.640 --> 00:31:53.996 As I've already told Barb, we are a paperless household. 851 00:31:54.840 --> 00:31:56.159 Paperless? What? 852 00:31:57.000 --> 00:31:59.195 It's a paperless house, darling. 853 00:31:59.360 --> 00:32:00.509 I got that. 854 00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:04.719 But how am I supposed to complete my business? 855 00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:06.518 Well, all Japanese toilets 856 00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:09.114 have a very effective and pleasant cleaning spray. 857 00:32:09.320 --> 00:32:10.469 And I will be very happy 858 00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:12.790 to walk you through the entire process. Oh, God. 859 00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:15.838 Ned, please locate the control panel to your left. 860 00:32:16.880 --> 00:32:18.472 Okay, I see it. 861 00:32:18.640 --> 00:32:20.080 Now on that control panel is a button 862 00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:22.794 that shows an image of water spraying up. 863 00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:24.797 Okay. And I just push it? 864 00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:26.149 Just press it, yes. 865 00:32:30.760 --> 00:32:32.079 Was that cologne? 866 00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:33.559 Oh! Cologne? Oh, yes! 867 00:32:33.760 --> 00:32:36.194 That is a designer-scented talcum powder. 868 00:32:36.920 --> 00:32:39.195 But that button should not have activated that. 869 00:32:39.360 --> 00:32:42.193 Ned, that is what is called Big Pony for Men by the Ralph Lauren. 870 00:32:42.360 --> 00:32:43.429 I'm excited to try. 871 00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:46.872 Can we please just continue? All right. 872 00:32:47.040 --> 00:32:48.393 Ned? Yes. 873 00:32:48.560 --> 00:32:50.551 I would like to apologize sincerely again. 874 00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:54.190 This is the 2018 model that you are on right now, 875 00:32:54.360 --> 00:32:55.475 so they have not yet made 876 00:32:55.560 --> 00:32:57.551 an instruction manual in English yet. 877 00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:00.871 So I'm going to take care of this on my end, all right? 878 00:33:01.080 --> 00:33:03.753 So Ned, you focus on your end in there 879 00:33:03.960 --> 00:33:06.554 and I will focus on your end out here. 880 00:33:07.120 --> 00:33:08.553 That's too good. This is it. 881 00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:10.392 This should do it, Ned. 882 00:33:10.560 --> 00:33:12.040 Okay. Something's whirring. 883 00:33:12.080 --> 00:33:14.036 Something's spinning around in there. 884 00:33:15.080 --> 00:33:16.911 No! Turn it off! 885 00:33:17.080 --> 00:33:19.116 Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! 886 00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:20.400 God! 887 00:33:20.440 --> 00:33:21.759 Oh, scheisse! 888 00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.070 We are having some technical difficulties. 889 00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:25.798 That was the vaginal cleanse. 890 00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:26.920 The what cleanse? 891 00:33:27.080 --> 00:33:28.752 I just want a square of toilet paper. 892 00:33:28.920 --> 00:33:30.069 The vaginal cleanse. 893 00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:31.514 Which I hear is refreshing 894 00:33:31.600 --> 00:33:33.636 and apparently also very stimulating. 895 00:33:34.280 --> 00:33:35.429 Just saying. 896 00:33:41.960 --> 00:33:42.960 Ned? 897 00:33:44.080 --> 00:33:45.080 Really? 898 00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:46.440 I'm so sorry, Ned... 899 00:33:46.600 --> 00:33:49.831 but I'm going to have to manually reboot the system from the inside. 900 00:33:51.240 --> 00:33:52.275 In here? 901 00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:53.759 I am so sorry. 902 00:33:53.920 --> 00:33:54.955 Fine. 903 00:33:57.840 --> 00:33:58.955 Why not? 904 00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:02.795 Barb, would you close the door? Sorry. 905 00:34:02.960 --> 00:34:04.393 It's gonna be great. 906 00:34:07.120 --> 00:34:08.792 Ned, I am blinders. 907 00:34:09.240 --> 00:34:11.515 I see nothing. I smell nothing. 908 00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:14.471 The print is very small. Mm-hmm. 909 00:34:14.640 --> 00:34:15.834 Okay, forgive me. 910 00:34:16.600 --> 00:34:18.591 I can't see the instructions. 911 00:34:22.120 --> 00:34:25.032 All right. What do we have here? 912 00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:26.320 Hmm... 913 00:34:54.840 --> 00:34:59.038 I had some stomach problems last night. 914 00:34:59.680 --> 00:35:01.033 I think it was the bear. 915 00:35:01.240 --> 00:35:03.470 I can guarantee you, it was the bear. 916 00:35:07.040 --> 00:35:08.837 Turning on the fan. 917 00:35:09.560 --> 00:35:11.710 Great. Wunderbar. 918 00:35:16.200 --> 00:35:17.519 How'd it go? 919 00:35:18.080 --> 00:35:20.389 I am so sorry that it took so long. 920 00:35:20.560 --> 00:35:22.915 Ned, I'm going to need you to be completely still 921 00:35:23.080 --> 00:35:25.355 while we try to lock in your location. 922 00:35:25.560 --> 00:35:27.835 I'm sitting on a toilet, that's pretty still. 923 00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:30.355 Searching, searching, und searching. 924 00:35:30.560 --> 00:35:32.869 And we have target achieved! 925 00:35:33.040 --> 00:35:34.519 And sploosh! 926 00:35:34.600 --> 00:35:35.715 Oh! 927 00:35:47.560 --> 00:35:49.551 There you go, girls. 928 00:35:49.720 --> 00:35:51.073 You raise chickens? 929 00:35:51.240 --> 00:35:52.912 All free-range. 930 00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:54.274 Cows, too. 931 00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:56.795 Pigs, artisanal llamas. 932 00:35:56.960 --> 00:35:58.313 Everything you eat here 933 00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.550 comes from within a 500-yard radius. 934 00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:03.115 I call it "lawn to table eating." 935 00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:04.280 There she is. 936 00:36:04.760 --> 00:36:05.954 Hey, Daisy. 937 00:36:07.400 --> 00:36:08.833 Oh. Hi. 938 00:36:09.400 --> 00:36:11.072 Go on, get. 939 00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:13.880 So glad we're doing this, Ned. 940 00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:17.056 I feel like I know you after everything that Steph's told me about you, 941 00:36:17.080 --> 00:36:18.638 but still not the same... 942 00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:23.554 Do you submit? Fuck you! 943 00:36:24.920 --> 00:36:26.273 Gustav! Ned, stay away! 944 00:36:27.400 --> 00:36:28.400 You wanna fight? 945 00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:33.800 Tap out! No! 946 00:36:33.960 --> 00:36:35.075 You want to tap out. 947 00:36:37.160 --> 00:36:38.832 Okay, okay! Fine! 948 00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:40.479 Nice work! 949 00:36:40.640 --> 00:36:42.136 And your reactions are getting quicker. 950 00:36:42.160 --> 00:36:43.160 Really? Absolutely. 951 00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:44.280 Thanks. 952 00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:46.480 I am so sorry, Ned. I just didn't want you to get hurt. 953 00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:50.953 Wait, so you just do this Pink Panther thing? 954 00:36:51.120 --> 00:36:52.519 Pink Panther? Pink Panther? 955 00:36:52.680 --> 00:36:54.955 The Pink Panther from the Pink Panther movies. 956 00:36:55.120 --> 00:36:58.317 When Cato attacks Inspector Clouseau to keep him sharp. 957 00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:00.096 Are those really old? I never heard of it. 958 00:37:00.120 --> 00:37:01.155 I'm not familiar, either, 959 00:37:01.320 --> 00:37:02.833 but it sounds absolutely charming. 960 00:37:04.640 --> 00:37:05.959 Pink Panther. 961 00:37:06.160 --> 00:37:07.513 The movies? Mm-hmm. 962 00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:11.670 Cato is his assistant, his houseboy. 963 00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:13.193 Houseboy? Well, it's... 964 00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:15.316 That sounds racist. 965 00:37:16.160 --> 00:37:18.628 He did call him "my little yellow friend." But... 966 00:37:18.840 --> 00:37:20.096 I'm sorry, you have to understand, Ned. 967 00:37:20.120 --> 00:37:22.680 Laird is the CEO of a massive tech company. 968 00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:24.472 I don't like bodyguards around 969 00:37:24.640 --> 00:37:27.473 so I have Goose train me in case I get kidnapped or whatever. 970 00:37:27.680 --> 00:37:30.319 By the way, your Chun Kuk Do moves were very solid. 971 00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:32.152 But what happened to the evasive parkour? 972 00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:33.514 Ah, evasive parkour. Yeah. 973 00:37:33.680 --> 00:37:35.033 I totally fucking spaced! 974 00:37:35.200 --> 00:37:36.838 There's always room to improve. 975 00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:38.035 All right. Thanks, man. 976 00:37:38.200 --> 00:37:39.519 You got it, brother. 977 00:37:39.680 --> 00:37:41.352 All right, ciao for now, you friends. 978 00:37:41.520 --> 00:37:43.954 And you guys have a lovely chat. 979 00:37:45.040 --> 00:37:46.640 Ned, come on. I wanna show you my office. 980 00:37:48.520 --> 00:37:51.398 You know, that's like classic Pink Panther. 981 00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:55.400 - This is where you work, huh? - Yeah. 982 00:37:55.560 --> 00:37:58.552 I have a den in the house where I do the financial stuff 983 00:37:58.720 --> 00:38:00.915 but this is where all the big ideas happen. 984 00:38:01.080 --> 00:38:02.991 Don't you need a computer and... 985 00:38:03.160 --> 00:38:05.196 Nah. My girl Justine records everything. 986 00:38:05.360 --> 00:38:06.475 Right, J? 987 00:38:06.680 --> 00:38:08.398 Yep, I'm here. Hey, Ned. 988 00:38:09.240 --> 00:38:11.640 Hey, why don't you play back a blip from yesterday's session? 989 00:38:11.760 --> 00:38:14.336 All right, hold on. Fuck. There's so much shit up here in your Cloud. 990 00:38:14.360 --> 00:38:15.554 Okay, okay got it. 991 00:38:15.720 --> 00:38:18.393 Come on, idiot, think. Names for games. Um... 992 00:38:18.600 --> 00:38:21.353 Ape Assassins Six: Capuchin Chaos. 993 00:38:21.520 --> 00:38:23.875 Uh, Silverback Salsa. 994 00:38:24.040 --> 00:38:26.235 Baboon Bukkake. 995 00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:27.628 Fuck! Wow, that's awful! 996 00:38:27.720 --> 00:38:28.755 Bad idea. 997 00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:29.915 Why? Why's that? 998 00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:31.000 Uh... 999 00:38:31.240 --> 00:38:32.559 What does that mean? 1000 00:38:32.680 --> 00:38:33.680 Bukkake? 1001 00:38:33.880 --> 00:38:35.029 Oh, um... 1002 00:38:35.240 --> 00:38:36.958 Just means a lot of things are happening 1003 00:38:37.080 --> 00:38:38.256 and you're feeling overwhelmed. 1004 00:38:38.280 --> 00:38:39.554 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1005 00:38:39.720 --> 00:38:41.597 Yeah. I've felt bukkake before. 1006 00:38:41.720 --> 00:38:42.720 Hmm... 1007 00:38:45.560 --> 00:38:48.074 Grab a seat. Make yourself comf. Let's break it down. 1008 00:38:48.920 --> 00:38:52.230 Just pop down right here on the floor. 1009 00:38:54.640 --> 00:38:55.868 There you go. 1010 00:38:56.920 --> 00:39:01.072 Ned, I think you and I have so much in common. 1011 00:39:01.240 --> 00:39:04.550 We see something we want and we just dive in 1012 00:39:04.720 --> 00:39:05.720 and we take it. 1013 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:06.760 Know what I mean? 1014 00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:09.035 Yeah. 1015 00:39:11.560 --> 00:39:12.788 Which is why... 1016 00:39:13.800 --> 00:39:15.074 ...on Christmas Day... 1017 00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:17.717 I'm going to ask Stephy to marry me. 1018 00:39:27.400 --> 00:39:29.960 And I know how tight you two are. 1019 00:39:30.080 --> 00:39:31.080 Mm-hmm. 1020 00:39:31.120 --> 00:39:33.759 So I'd really, really 1021 00:39:33.920 --> 00:39:34.955 like your blessing. 1022 00:39:38.600 --> 00:39:40.318 Uh, Laird. 1023 00:39:41.280 --> 00:39:42.616 Really appreciate you coming to me. 1024 00:39:42.640 --> 00:39:43.640 'Course. 1025 00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:45.990 But, uh, the answer's no. 1026 00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:52.151 Dude, I'm so confused. 1027 00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:54.356 What the fuck? What the hell? 1028 00:39:54.520 --> 00:39:55.794 This went so much differently 1029 00:39:55.920 --> 00:39:57.353 when I rehearsed it with Gustav. 1030 00:39:57.520 --> 00:39:59.636 Yeah. I asked you and you were like, 1031 00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:01.113 "Yeah, dude. My son." 1032 00:40:01.320 --> 00:40:03.151 Laird. Listen to me, okay. 1033 00:40:03.760 --> 00:40:07.469 Beside the fact that I don't know you from a hole in the wall... 1034 00:40:07.640 --> 00:40:11.474 Stephanie is just not ready for this step in her life. 1035 00:40:11.640 --> 00:40:14.632 Oh, I'm totally getting the signals that she is. 1036 00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:17.439 I'm her father, I know her pretty well. 1037 00:40:17.640 --> 00:40:19.437 Okay, all right. All right, Ned... 1038 00:40:19.640 --> 00:40:21.278 Dude, I know I sprung this on you. 1039 00:40:21.480 --> 00:40:23.994 My bad. Okay? Let's just back it up. 1040 00:40:24.160 --> 00:40:25.195 All right? All right. 1041 00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:28.517 Why don't you give me a few days to win you over, okay? 1042 00:40:28.680 --> 00:40:29.874 And by Christmas morning... 1043 00:40:30.040 --> 00:40:32.508 I promise, you're going to be calling me "son." 1044 00:40:32.680 --> 00:40:34.477 I'm gonna be calling you "Dad". 1045 00:40:34.640 --> 00:40:35.816 Don't think that's going to happen. 1046 00:40:35.840 --> 00:40:37.831 I think it's gonna, Dad. 1047 00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:40.840 Don't. 1048 00:40:41.640 --> 00:40:42.789 Dad, come on. 1049 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:44.536 Don't call me "Dad." Don't call you "Dad"? 1050 00:40:44.560 --> 00:40:45.560 I'm not your dad. 1051 00:40:45.720 --> 00:40:47.836 I mean, you're gonna be my dad. 1052 00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:48.920 No. No. 1053 00:40:49.040 --> 00:40:50.758 What, Dad? 1054 00:40:53.200 --> 00:40:54.480 Okay, now you're playing with me. 1055 00:40:54.560 --> 00:40:56.391 All right. Dad. 1056 00:40:58.200 --> 00:40:59.758 Look, Laird. 1057 00:41:01.040 --> 00:41:03.508 Why do you even care about what I think? 1058 00:41:03.680 --> 00:41:05.033 You're Stephanie's father. 1059 00:41:06.320 --> 00:41:09.039 I'm not gonna ask Stephanie to marry me unless I have your blessing. 1060 00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:11.194 Okay. 1061 00:41:11.400 --> 00:41:12.674 Justine, did you get that? 1062 00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:14.558 Totes. Yeah, recorded every word. 1063 00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:17.711 Totes. And totes is what? 1064 00:41:17.880 --> 00:41:20.758 It means totally. But totally's kind of long, so "totes" is just easier. 1065 00:41:22.720 --> 00:41:23.720 Okay. Good. 1066 00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:24.840 Okay. Okay. 1067 00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:26.074 All right, cool. Yeah. 1068 00:41:26.240 --> 00:41:28.549 But you gotta promise me 1069 00:41:28.720 --> 00:41:31.871 that you won't tell Steph anything about this. 1070 00:41:32.400 --> 00:41:33.594 About any of this. 1071 00:41:33.800 --> 00:41:36.394 Trust me, that is the last thing in the world I will do. 1072 00:41:36.560 --> 00:41:39.120 For reals, dude. I want it to be a surprise. 1073 00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:40.633 No word. I won't say a word. 1074 00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:42.916 Barb and Scotty, too. No clowning. 1075 00:41:43.440 --> 00:41:44.475 No clowning. 1076 00:41:46.640 --> 00:41:47.709 What? 1077 00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:50.110 I'd just feel a lot better about this if we pinky swore. 1078 00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:54.795 Oh. 1079 00:41:59.480 --> 00:42:01.277 I see what you mean. Cool. 1080 00:42:01.960 --> 00:42:03.712 Go get breakfast. Okay. 1081 00:42:05.240 --> 00:42:06.309 Fuck! 1082 00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:08.429 Sup, guys? 1083 00:42:08.600 --> 00:42:10.397 - Hey, boss. - Mayhew! 1084 00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:12.616 ...took a little longer 1085 00:42:12.640 --> 00:42:15.438 Go into the school gonna run another banger 1086 00:42:16.160 --> 00:42:17.991 The fuck? Come with me immediately. 1087 00:42:18.840 --> 00:42:20.398 The hell is this room? 1088 00:42:20.600 --> 00:42:21.669 Randy, get the fuck out. 1089 00:42:21.840 --> 00:42:22.955 Yes, sir, Gustav. Mm-hmm. 1090 00:42:26.080 --> 00:42:28.150 I am on the needles und pins. 1091 00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:30.038 I need you to tell me how it went right now 1092 00:42:30.120 --> 00:42:31.155 or I'm going to burst. 1093 00:42:31.360 --> 00:42:33.157 He said no! What? Okay, okay. 1094 00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:36.113 But how did you respond? 1095 00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:38.959 I was blindsided, man. I didn't know what to do. 1096 00:42:39.160 --> 00:42:40.160 I challenged him. 1097 00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:42.197 Okay. I started calling him Dad. 1098 00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:45.510 Oy vey. The fuck, man! 1099 00:42:45.680 --> 00:42:49.753 Why would you call him Dad? You're putting him at unease! 1100 00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:51.799 You have to find a way in. 1101 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:54.309 You have to do something for him that's truly special 1102 00:42:54.480 --> 00:42:56.835 so that he knows that your intentions are pure. 1103 00:42:57.000 --> 00:42:58.920 Dude, Goose, I don't know how to talk to the guy. 1104 00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:01.200 It's like we speak two different languages or something. 1105 00:43:01.320 --> 00:43:02.320 You do. Yeah. 1106 00:43:02.480 --> 00:43:03.674 He speaks English. 1107 00:43:03.840 --> 00:43:07.469 And you speak English with resounding amounts of "fuck." 1108 00:43:07.640 --> 00:43:09.016 All right, Stephanie's been on my case, too. 1109 00:43:09.040 --> 00:43:10.040 Yes. I got it. 1110 00:43:10.160 --> 00:43:11.160 All right? Okay. 1111 00:43:11.200 --> 00:43:12.200 Right. All right, man. 1112 00:43:12.360 --> 00:43:13.360 Great. Great. 1113 00:43:13.400 --> 00:43:14.936 You just fucking really hit me really hard. 1114 00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:16.393 I know. I am sorry. 1115 00:43:16.560 --> 00:43:19.518 It's just, Laird... 1116 00:43:19.680 --> 00:43:22.035 ...your relationship with Miss Stephanie 1117 00:43:22.240 --> 00:43:24.708 is very special. It's the real deal. 1118 00:43:24.840 --> 00:43:25.840 Hey. Yes. 1119 00:43:25.960 --> 00:43:28.838 Goose, I know I pay you a shit-ton of money, 1120 00:43:29.040 --> 00:43:30.359 but you're my best friend. 1121 00:43:30.520 --> 00:43:32.636 Our friendship is priceless. 1122 00:43:32.800 --> 00:43:35.030 Hey. Thanks, brother. 1123 00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:47.514 Okay. 1124 00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:51.075 Okay. Ow! Mercy. Mercy. 1125 00:43:52.520 --> 00:43:53.520 Fuck. 1126 00:43:55.600 --> 00:43:56.600 Bro, you're incredible. 1127 00:43:56.760 --> 00:43:57.875 That was very imaginative 1128 00:43:58.040 --> 00:43:59.439 how you took that tender moment 1129 00:43:59.560 --> 00:44:00.960 and used it as your pivot to attack. 1130 00:44:01.040 --> 00:44:02.314 Yeah. Very good. 1131 00:44:06.080 --> 00:44:07.080 What's up, Cheese? 1132 00:44:07.120 --> 00:44:09.076 I'm about to go to the football game. 1133 00:44:09.240 --> 00:44:10.434 Lions, baby! 1134 00:44:10.600 --> 00:44:11.874 Great. How's business? 1135 00:44:12.080 --> 00:44:13.229 Tell me something good. 1136 00:44:13.400 --> 00:44:14.594 Oh, uh... 1137 00:44:15.040 --> 00:44:17.110 I talked to my guy over at Dick's Sporting Goods. 1138 00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:18.856 Don't tell me they're going with China, too. 1139 00:44:18.880 --> 00:44:19.915 Worse. 1140 00:44:20.080 --> 00:44:21.957 Freaking online banner ads. 1141 00:44:22.120 --> 00:44:23.917 No. Damn it. All right, listen. 1142 00:44:24.560 --> 00:44:28.269 I'm gonna call Don Millis at Subaru of Southern Michigan. 1143 00:44:28.440 --> 00:44:31.398 I heard a little rumor that they might be looking for a new dance partner. 1144 00:44:31.600 --> 00:44:33.113 Yeah, Don, the big guy, right? 1145 00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:35.032 You guys go back to your car selling days. 1146 00:44:35.200 --> 00:44:36.872 Yeah. It's worth a shot. Listen... 1147 00:44:37.040 --> 00:44:38.632 I need you to go in and pull his card 1148 00:44:38.760 --> 00:44:40.256 from my rolodex while I look for a pen. 1149 00:44:40.280 --> 00:44:42.077 You got it, Cheese. No, you got it. 1150 00:44:43.720 --> 00:44:45.312 So how goes it in Cali? 1151 00:44:46.320 --> 00:44:48.436 It feels like we've landed in The Twilight Zone. 1152 00:44:48.600 --> 00:44:49.600 Did you find the card? 1153 00:44:51.240 --> 00:44:52.309 Yeah. I got it right here. 1154 00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:53.833 Just hang on. 1155 00:44:53.960 --> 00:44:55.393 I have nothing to write with here. 1156 00:44:55.560 --> 00:44:56.993 This whole house is paperless. 1157 00:44:57.120 --> 00:44:58.120 Paperless? 1158 00:44:58.280 --> 00:44:59.599 Well, how do you wipe your ass? 1159 00:44:59.720 --> 00:45:00.720 You don't. 1160 00:45:00.800 --> 00:45:02.916 They have these Japanese toilets that... 1161 00:45:03.800 --> 00:45:05.880 It's one of those little squat jobs, little squatter. 1162 00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:08.639 No. Just... never mind. Just give me the number. 1163 00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:10.119 Hey, Ned, I'm here. 1164 00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:11.599 I can take it down for you. 1165 00:45:11.760 --> 00:45:13.990 Justine, please just... I'm fine. 1166 00:45:14.160 --> 00:45:15.160 Just go away. 1167 00:45:15.320 --> 00:45:16.616 All right, I'm just trying to help. 1168 00:45:16.640 --> 00:45:17.920 You don't have to be such a dick. 1169 00:45:18.240 --> 00:45:20.310 Whoa, whoa. Cheese, who is that? 1170 00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:21.656 She's got a foul little mouth. 1171 00:45:21.680 --> 00:45:23.296 Is that the kid's secretary you fighting with? 1172 00:45:23.320 --> 00:45:25.754 No, no, no. That's the woman who lives in the ceiling. 1173 00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:26.920 Cheese, what she look like? 1174 00:45:26.960 --> 00:45:27.960 The woman who lives... 1175 00:45:28.120 --> 00:45:29.176 You say she lives in the ceiling? 1176 00:45:29.200 --> 00:45:31.919 She's a disembodied voice that... 1177 00:45:32.120 --> 00:45:33.678 Never mind. I'll explain later. 1178 00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:34.875 The voice sounds sexy. 1179 00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:36.200 Are they using somebody famous? 1180 00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:38.231 I wouldn't say too famous. 1181 00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:39.496 You know, million dollars a week, 1182 00:45:39.520 --> 00:45:41.296 biggest show in the world, no big deal. 1183 00:45:41.320 --> 00:45:42.320 Lou. She can hear me? 1184 00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:44.120 Of course I can hear you. 1185 00:45:44.160 --> 00:45:45.309 How you doin', baby? 1186 00:45:45.480 --> 00:45:47.436 Better now that I'm talking with you. 1187 00:45:47.640 --> 00:45:49.600 Just give me the number. I'm calling him now. 1188 00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:55.353 Let's catch some waves. 1189 00:45:57.000 --> 00:45:58.856 - Tsunami. - That guy's cool. 1190 00:45:58.880 --> 00:45:59.880 Yeah, Goose is the best. 1191 00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:01.515 Oh... 1192 00:46:06.200 --> 00:46:07.456 Laird, I'm gonna be honest with you, buddy. 1193 00:46:07.480 --> 00:46:08.480 Okay. 1194 00:46:08.520 --> 00:46:10.511 Gorillas in board shorts is a fun touch. 1195 00:46:10.680 --> 00:46:11.680 Yeah. I'll give you that. 1196 00:46:11.840 --> 00:46:13.536 But when the only mission is to get to shore, 1197 00:46:13.560 --> 00:46:14.920 I'm not feeling enough drama there. 1198 00:46:15.040 --> 00:46:16.040 You know? 1199 00:46:17.160 --> 00:46:19.355 You know what? You're so fucking right. 1200 00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:20.555 Fuck! 1201 00:46:20.720 --> 00:46:22.376 We've been developing this limp dick for months. 1202 00:46:22.400 --> 00:46:24.016 You come and you play it for five minutes, 1203 00:46:24.040 --> 00:46:25.712 you know exactly what's wrong with it. 1204 00:46:25.880 --> 00:46:28.030 You're a sharp little fucker. You know that? 1205 00:46:28.560 --> 00:46:29.879 Thank you. 1206 00:46:30.040 --> 00:46:32.031 I mean, for real, man. I appreciate it. 1207 00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:34.399 It's just nice to be listened to. 1208 00:46:35.200 --> 00:46:36.349 What do you mean? 1209 00:46:36.760 --> 00:46:38.336 I'm gonna be running my dad's business one day. 1210 00:46:38.360 --> 00:46:39.360 Uh-huh. 1211 00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:42.352 But he won't even listen to any of my ideas about innovation. 1212 00:46:42.520 --> 00:46:44.033 What? Right? 1213 00:46:44.200 --> 00:46:45.394 You're next gen, dude. 1214 00:46:45.560 --> 00:46:47.920 It's where all the new seeds come from. Everyone knows that. 1215 00:46:48.000 --> 00:46:49.176 And I told him that. I was like... 1216 00:46:49.200 --> 00:46:51.668 "Dad, if you're gonna unleash me to my full potentsh... 1217 00:46:51.840 --> 00:46:52.960 "I need a seat at the table." 1218 00:46:53.080 --> 00:46:54.195 He just won't listen to me. 1219 00:46:54.360 --> 00:46:55.588 Um... Get that seat! 1220 00:46:55.760 --> 00:46:56.760 I will get that seat. 1221 00:46:56.920 --> 00:46:58.640 Gotta get that seat, Scotty. That's my seat. 1222 00:46:58.680 --> 00:46:59.908 Nobody else touch it. No. 1223 00:47:00.080 --> 00:47:02.719 Where is that seat? It's at the fucking table. 1224 00:47:02.920 --> 00:47:04.956 And I'm gonna get that seat at that table. 1225 00:47:05.120 --> 00:47:06.872 You deserve a fucking throne, dawg. 1226 00:47:07.040 --> 00:47:08.400 Yeah, the Iron Throne. Iron Throne. 1227 00:47:08.560 --> 00:47:10.056 Iron Throne. Game of Thrones over here! 1228 00:47:10.080 --> 00:47:12.216 I'm breathing fire and grabbing titties left and right. 1229 00:47:12.240 --> 00:47:13.416 Fucking King Joffrey up in this. 1230 00:47:13.440 --> 00:47:14.440 Those are my titties! 1231 00:47:14.640 --> 00:47:16.551 You're the next in line. That's me. 1232 00:47:16.920 --> 00:47:17.920 My man. 1233 00:47:21.560 --> 00:47:22.754 Oh, God. 1234 00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:27.594 They're paying your student loans. 1235 00:47:28.160 --> 00:47:29.195 Oh. 1236 00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:42.119 Stamp Free Invites. 1237 00:47:49.240 --> 00:47:50.753 Oh, man. 1238 00:47:54.080 --> 00:47:56.116 Ho, ho, ho! 1239 00:47:58.760 --> 00:47:59.795 Wow. 1240 00:47:59.960 --> 00:48:01.240 Is that a horse? That is a llama. 1241 00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:02.440 Oh, a llama. Hi. 1242 00:48:02.520 --> 00:48:03.635 Hello. 1243 00:48:03.800 --> 00:48:05.631 Oh, my goodness. Hey, girl. 1244 00:48:05.800 --> 00:48:07.119 We don't have those in... 1245 00:48:07.320 --> 00:48:08.639 Dad! 1246 00:48:08.800 --> 00:48:10.950 There you are. This is insane! 1247 00:48:11.120 --> 00:48:12.473 Oh, you working on the books? 1248 00:48:12.640 --> 00:48:14.471 Uh, yeah, you know. Just the little stuff. 1249 00:48:16.120 --> 00:48:18.475 I was thinking about Laird's Christmas party. 1250 00:48:18.640 --> 00:48:20.471 Gustav gave me a preview of the guest list. 1251 00:48:20.640 --> 00:48:22.551 And, Dad, it is a veritable "who's who" 1252 00:48:22.640 --> 00:48:24.039 of Silicon Valley power players. 1253 00:48:24.200 --> 00:48:25.838 Tyson Modell is coming! 1254 00:48:26.000 --> 00:48:27.831 Wait, who is he? What? 1255 00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:29.016 He's the kid who founded Ghostchat. 1256 00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:30.109 Oh, right. 1257 00:48:30.200 --> 00:48:31.696 He turned down three billion dollars from Facebook, 1258 00:48:31.720 --> 00:48:33.153 and he's only 24 years old. 1259 00:48:33.320 --> 00:48:35.470 I'm gonna broker a sit-down between you two. 1260 00:48:36.680 --> 00:48:38.716 Dad, thank you for telling me to pack a blazer. 1261 00:48:38.880 --> 00:48:41.096 Now, should I throw on a tie or should I keep it business casual? 1262 00:48:41.120 --> 00:48:42.678 Scotty, just listen to me, all right? 1263 00:48:42.840 --> 00:48:44.910 Most of these Internet companies 1264 00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:47.036 are built on smoke and mirrors. 1265 00:48:47.200 --> 00:48:48.235 What? 1266 00:48:48.360 --> 00:48:49.360 Don't get sucked in. 1267 00:48:49.520 --> 00:48:51.670 That whole industry is based on hooey. 1268 00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:53.956 I'm gonna drop some knowledge on you. 1269 00:48:54.160 --> 00:48:55.354 Times are changing, Pops. 1270 00:48:55.520 --> 00:48:57.556 And not everything you think is hooey is hooey. 1271 00:48:58.680 --> 00:49:00.671 Wow. That's profound. 1272 00:49:01.200 --> 00:49:02.394 Profound. 1273 00:49:03.520 --> 00:49:04.794 And you... 1274 00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:07.157 Hooey-meister himself. 1275 00:49:09.080 --> 00:49:10.911 You're nothing but an octopus. 1276 00:49:11.640 --> 00:49:13.119 An octopus. 1277 00:49:27.400 --> 00:49:29.152 Merry fuckin' Christmas 1278 00:49:43.080 --> 00:49:44.399 What are you pouring? 1279 00:49:44.560 --> 00:49:46.391 We are doing a deconstructed eggnog tonight. 1280 00:49:46.560 --> 00:49:48.596 Eggnog. Yes. Thank you. 1281 00:49:48.760 --> 00:49:50.034 Where you from, boss? 1282 00:49:50.120 --> 00:49:51.120 Michigan. 1283 00:49:51.240 --> 00:49:52.753 Oh, Michigan. You in the car business? 1284 00:49:52.920 --> 00:49:55.036 Uh, no. Printing. Ned Fleming. 1285 00:49:55.200 --> 00:49:56.758 Elon Musk. Elon Musk? 1286 00:49:57.360 --> 00:49:58.509 Yeah. Tesla, Elon Musk? 1287 00:49:58.720 --> 00:49:59.914 Yeah. Wow. 1288 00:50:01.240 --> 00:50:02.240 How do you know Laird? 1289 00:50:02.440 --> 00:50:03.714 Uh... 1290 00:50:03.800 --> 00:50:05.597 He's dating my daughter. 1291 00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:08.074 Uh-oh. 1292 00:50:08.240 --> 00:50:09.434 Nice talking to you. Yeah. 1293 00:50:09.600 --> 00:50:10.635 What? 1294 00:50:12.080 --> 00:50:14.116 Oh, hey! Hi, honey! 1295 00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:16.470 Could I get a glass of white wine, please? 1296 00:50:18.240 --> 00:50:19.753 Ooh, hiya, handsome. Hi! 1297 00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:21.592 You look great. Oh, come on. 1298 00:50:21.760 --> 00:50:23.432 No, you do. Thank you. 1299 00:50:23.600 --> 00:50:26.319 I'm just getting in the holiday spirit. 1300 00:50:26.480 --> 00:50:30.155 So what were you talking to Laird about for so long? 1301 00:50:30.960 --> 00:50:32.791 I got the entire Mayhew family saga. 1302 00:50:32.960 --> 00:50:34.279 Oh, God. I'm sorry. 1303 00:50:34.440 --> 00:50:37.432 No, no, turns out it was pretty interesting actually. 1304 00:50:37.600 --> 00:50:40.751 His mother was a secretary at one of these tech companies. 1305 00:50:40.920 --> 00:50:43.275 Can I interest you in a Kobe beef slider? 1306 00:50:43.440 --> 00:50:44.759 Ooh, yum. Real food? 1307 00:50:44.920 --> 00:50:46.797 Yes, I'm starving. 1308 00:50:46.960 --> 00:50:48.518 Wait, what? 1309 00:50:48.840 --> 00:50:50.239 Oh, God. 1310 00:50:50.440 --> 00:50:52.078 Ma'am? Kobe squirt? No, thanks. 1311 00:50:52.240 --> 00:50:53.240 Thank you. 1312 00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:55.433 It's actually pretty tasty. 1313 00:50:55.600 --> 00:50:58.592 Anyway, she saw all these young programmers getting rich. 1314 00:50:58.760 --> 00:51:01.320 So she basically forced Laird 1315 00:51:01.480 --> 00:51:05.439 to spend his entire childhood inside, learning computers. 1316 00:51:06.600 --> 00:51:09.273 I think that's kind of sad, right? 1317 00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:21.313 He ate it. Hmm. 1318 00:51:22.680 --> 00:51:24.159 He's an octopus. 1319 00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:26.151 That kid is wrapping his tentacles 1320 00:51:26.280 --> 00:51:27.998 around every member of this family. 1321 00:51:28.160 --> 00:51:29.513 He's manipulating you. 1322 00:51:29.680 --> 00:51:31.989 Darling, we need to bring this down a notch. 1323 00:51:32.160 --> 00:51:34.310 Okay? You think you're at war with Laird. 1324 00:51:34.480 --> 00:51:37.153 But he's not fighting. It's just you. 1325 00:51:37.680 --> 00:51:38.976 Come on, let's go meet his friends. 1326 00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:40.035 They look darling. 1327 00:51:40.240 --> 00:51:41.832 Oh, God. 1328 00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:44.958 Totally tanked porting the thin-client apps for the JDK build. 1329 00:51:45.160 --> 00:51:46.536 The fuck? So you had to rewrite all the code? 1330 00:51:46.560 --> 00:51:48.551 Mm-hmm. By myself. 1331 00:51:48.720 --> 00:51:50.915 But did you do it? Oh, you know I did! 1332 00:51:51.080 --> 00:51:52.479 Hey, there they are! Hi. 1333 00:51:52.640 --> 00:51:53.640 Looking like a babe. 1334 00:51:53.800 --> 00:51:54.869 Look who's looking sharp. 1335 00:51:55.040 --> 00:51:56.314 Okay! Hello! 1336 00:51:56.480 --> 00:51:58.800 Tyson, these are Stephanie's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Fleming. 1337 00:51:58.880 --> 00:52:00.871 Oh, no. Barb and Ned, please. 1338 00:52:01.040 --> 00:52:02.758 So it was fucked up, man. 1339 00:52:02.920 --> 00:52:04.512 It took me two weeks 1340 00:52:04.640 --> 00:52:06.358 on the J2EE database... 1341 00:52:06.560 --> 00:52:08.696 trying to get the interface to react with the server... 1342 00:52:08.720 --> 00:52:10.711 so I can get the containers up and running again. 1343 00:52:10.880 --> 00:52:15.192 I'm sorry. Tyson, what's a J2EE? 1344 00:52:15.400 --> 00:52:17.231 Java 2 Platform Enterprise Edition. 1345 00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:18.714 Do you not write code? Sorry. 1346 00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:20.359 This guy's the worst. Yeah. 1347 00:52:20.520 --> 00:52:22.640 I'm actually more of a personal relations kind of guy. 1348 00:52:22.720 --> 00:52:25.280 Like account management, client services. That kind of stuff. 1349 00:52:25.440 --> 00:52:27.078 Dude, this kid is fucking awesome. 1350 00:52:27.240 --> 00:52:30.676 Yes, Ned is grooming Scotty to take over our family business. 1351 00:52:30.840 --> 00:52:31.840 That's right. 1352 00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:33.552 We own a printing business in Michigan. 1353 00:52:33.720 --> 00:52:34.936 Really? I'm sure you're familiar 1354 00:52:34.960 --> 00:52:36.280 with those two siblings over there 1355 00:52:36.400 --> 00:52:38.072 since you're in the printing business. 1356 00:52:38.240 --> 00:52:40.515 Yo, brother-sister act! You gotta meet this guy. 1357 00:52:40.600 --> 00:52:41.600 Hello! 1358 00:52:41.760 --> 00:52:43.432 Hey! Blaine and Missy Pederman. 1359 00:52:43.600 --> 00:52:44.749 Hi, I'm Barb Fleming. 1360 00:52:44.920 --> 00:52:46.239 This is my husband. Ned. 1361 00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:48.868 I'm Scott Fleming. Nice to meet you. 1362 00:52:49.040 --> 00:52:50.712 I'm sorry, we were told we might know you, 1363 00:52:50.800 --> 00:52:52.074 but I'm afraid we don't. 1364 00:52:52.240 --> 00:52:54.754 Blaine and Missy started Stamp Free Invites. 1365 00:52:56.600 --> 00:52:58.431 Oh, okay. 1366 00:52:58.600 --> 00:52:59.749 Right. 1367 00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:00.920 What's up? 1368 00:53:01.080 --> 00:53:02.456 Did the server forget to send a reminder 1369 00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:04.311 for your birthday party or something? 1370 00:53:04.480 --> 00:53:07.438 No, he is actually in the printing business. 1371 00:53:08.280 --> 00:53:09.759 Oh, shit. Whoops. 1372 00:53:09.880 --> 00:53:10.880 No, no. 1373 00:53:10.920 --> 00:53:12.256 We didn't put you out of business or anything? 1374 00:53:12.280 --> 00:53:13.280 No. 1375 00:53:13.400 --> 00:53:15.675 What? Ruin our business? No, no. 1376 00:53:15.760 --> 00:53:17.512 We're doing quite well. Thank you. 1377 00:53:17.600 --> 00:53:18.635 Oh, that's great! 1378 00:53:18.760 --> 00:53:20.136 Good for you! Honestly, good for you. 1379 00:53:20.160 --> 00:53:21.832 We love little mom-and-pop printers. 1380 00:53:21.960 --> 00:53:24.076 So inspirational. So important. Mm-hmm. 1381 00:53:24.160 --> 00:53:25.593 My dad has more of a factory. 1382 00:53:25.800 --> 00:53:27.136 Not to brag, but we're a pretty big shop. 1383 00:53:27.160 --> 00:53:28.936 People need paper. They need something to write on. 1384 00:53:28.960 --> 00:53:30.656 They love the feel of that card stock in their hands. 1385 00:53:30.680 --> 00:53:31.680 Yeah. 1386 00:53:31.800 --> 00:53:33.631 I've never heard anyone say that. 1387 00:53:33.760 --> 00:53:36.320 Hmm. We have not found that at all. 1388 00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:37.629 Yeah. Nope. 1389 00:53:37.800 --> 00:53:39.416 I think we come from two different worlds. 1390 00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:40.475 Yes, we do. 1391 00:53:40.640 --> 00:53:43.632 You better start learning code pretty fucking fast, dude. 1392 00:53:43.800 --> 00:53:45.074 Dude, Ned was crushing it 1393 00:53:45.280 --> 00:53:47.794 since before you two were fighting over your mother's titties. 1394 00:53:48.280 --> 00:53:49.720 Our mom didn't breastfeed us. 1395 00:53:49.840 --> 00:53:51.512 Laird, you know we had a wet nurse. 1396 00:53:51.680 --> 00:53:52.680 Oh, I can tell. 1397 00:53:53.480 --> 00:53:55.176 Boy, I'll tell you, I don't know what's going on. 1398 00:53:55.200 --> 00:53:56.200 I'm lost. 1399 00:53:56.320 --> 00:53:57.594 I'm overwhelmed. Yeah! Me, too. 1400 00:53:57.760 --> 00:53:59.637 There's bukkake floating all around me. 1401 00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:00.875 What? Hm? 1402 00:54:01.040 --> 00:54:02.155 What's bukkake? 1403 00:54:02.320 --> 00:54:03.355 Oh, Laird told me. 1404 00:54:03.520 --> 00:54:05.033 It means when you're overwhelmed 1405 00:54:05.160 --> 00:54:06.360 and you got too much going on. 1406 00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:08.198 Oh, my gosh. Can't figure things out. 1407 00:54:08.360 --> 00:54:10.669 Then, I'm drowning in bukkake at this point. 1408 00:54:10.840 --> 00:54:11.976 Okay, I'm gonna be real with you guys. 1409 00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:13.080 It means jizz on your face. 1410 00:54:14.520 --> 00:54:15.520 I'm sorry? 1411 00:54:15.680 --> 00:54:17.033 Bukkake means covered in jizz. 1412 00:54:17.200 --> 00:54:18.394 Tons of jizz, ejaculate. 1413 00:54:18.560 --> 00:54:19.959 Usually after a gangbang. 1414 00:54:20.120 --> 00:54:21.348 Not as bad as it sounds. 1415 00:54:21.520 --> 00:54:22.714 Yeah, post-gangbang. 1416 00:54:22.880 --> 00:54:25.633 Or during. Depends if someone finishes early. 1417 00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:26.909 What the heck? 1418 00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:28.216 I was trying to protect you, dude. 1419 00:54:28.240 --> 00:54:29.832 - Protect me? - Fucking Justine. 1420 00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:31.149 You mean embarrass me? 1421 00:54:31.320 --> 00:54:32.656 It was a really sensitive conversation. 1422 00:54:32.680 --> 00:54:33.696 I didn't want to start talking 1423 00:54:33.720 --> 00:54:34.816 about guys jerking off on each other. 1424 00:54:34.840 --> 00:54:36.336 Why'd you tell me it was overwhelming? 1425 00:54:36.360 --> 00:54:37.509 Justine brought it up! 1426 00:54:37.680 --> 00:54:40.194 I hope this is an opportune time to show a video. 1427 00:54:40.360 --> 00:54:41.360 It's not. 1428 00:54:41.400 --> 00:54:42.674 - Oh, God! - Yeah. 1429 00:54:42.880 --> 00:54:44.518 Oh, and this is a teaching moment. 1430 00:54:44.680 --> 00:54:45.999 - Here's another. - Oh, my God. 1431 00:54:46.080 --> 00:54:47.336 - No. Scotty. - Don't look at that. 1432 00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:49.157 It's all good. You don't have to see this. 1433 00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:50.878 Is that you? 1434 00:54:54.360 --> 00:54:55.395 No. 1435 00:54:55.600 --> 00:54:56.828 Oh, my God. 1436 00:55:06.360 --> 00:55:07.998 We alive right now, now 1437 00:55:09.720 --> 00:55:11.039 Let's get hot right now 1438 00:55:11.600 --> 00:55:13.477 We don't give a damn about money 1439 00:55:13.560 --> 00:55:14.913 We alive right now 1440 00:55:15.400 --> 00:55:17.311 All we do is party, party 1441 00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:18.515 And get hot right now 1442 00:55:24.720 --> 00:55:26.073 Are you okay? 1443 00:55:26.680 --> 00:55:28.955 Yeah! 1444 00:55:29.120 --> 00:55:30.553 Come on, Daddy. You're okay! 1445 00:55:30.760 --> 00:55:32.557 Okay, I just need to take a breather. One... 1446 00:55:34.400 --> 00:55:35.594 Do it again... 1447 00:55:35.760 --> 00:55:37.318 Lost my mind, I'm a lose it again 1448 00:55:37.400 --> 00:55:39.038 I love this kid. 1449 00:55:39.200 --> 00:55:41.395 Oh, my God! 1450 00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:43.033 Rage, rage the night away 1451 00:55:43.120 --> 00:55:44.712 Forget about the money I spent today 1452 00:55:44.920 --> 00:55:46.512 Rage, rage the night away 1453 00:55:46.600 --> 00:55:49.398 DDT your ass. I love you, dawg. 1454 00:55:50.480 --> 00:55:52.436 Forget about the money I spent today 1455 00:56:10.120 --> 00:56:11.235 Hi, Pops. 1456 00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:14.360 I just need some fresh air. Can I come? 1457 00:56:23.160 --> 00:56:25.754 We've always been straight with each other, haven't we? 1458 00:56:25.920 --> 00:56:26.920 Yeah, of course. 1459 00:56:27.080 --> 00:56:28.336 Okay, I need to ask you a question. 1460 00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:29.475 And I mean this honestly. 1461 00:56:29.640 --> 00:56:30.834 Okay. What? 1462 00:56:31.000 --> 00:56:32.000 You're scaring me. 1463 00:56:32.080 --> 00:56:33.149 No. It's just... 1464 00:56:34.360 --> 00:56:35.360 What? 1465 00:56:36.440 --> 00:56:37.634 Why Laird? 1466 00:56:37.800 --> 00:56:39.153 I mean, come on. Oh, my God. 1467 00:56:39.320 --> 00:56:40.912 Why? Dad. 1468 00:56:41.120 --> 00:56:43.111 You are so smart and you're beautiful. 1469 00:56:43.280 --> 00:56:45.475 You could be dating anyone. Why? 1470 00:56:45.640 --> 00:56:47.000 I don't get it. You want the truth? 1471 00:56:47.120 --> 00:56:48.269 Yes. 1472 00:56:48.800 --> 00:56:50.631 He kind of reminds me of you. 1473 00:56:52.160 --> 00:56:53.160 What? 1474 00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:55.469 Me? Yes. 1475 00:56:55.680 --> 00:56:57.398 Okay, I need you to explain that one. 1476 00:56:57.480 --> 00:56:58.480 How? 1477 00:56:58.640 --> 00:57:01.154 You're both the most honest and authentic men that I know. 1478 00:57:01.320 --> 00:57:02.776 It comes out in totally different ways. 1479 00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:03.800 Oh, well... 1480 00:57:03.880 --> 00:57:05.313 Laird has literally no filter. 1481 00:57:05.520 --> 00:57:08.034 I don't know that to be true. Is that right? 1482 00:57:08.200 --> 00:57:09.713 Okay. Sorry. 1483 00:57:09.880 --> 00:57:11.836 Trying to help you out here. 1484 00:57:12.120 --> 00:57:14.839 But I swear his heart is always in the right place. 1485 00:57:17.680 --> 00:57:19.352 He's a very good guy. 1486 00:57:20.400 --> 00:57:21.833 And I love him. 1487 00:57:26.880 --> 00:57:27.880 You love him? 1488 00:57:33.720 --> 00:57:34.994 What? 1489 00:57:35.880 --> 00:57:37.233 I'm processing. 1490 00:57:37.400 --> 00:57:38.560 We had the... Very funny, Dad. 1491 00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:42.157 Okay. Okay. 1492 00:57:42.920 --> 00:57:44.558 Just try to be cordial. 1493 00:57:44.720 --> 00:57:45.755 I will. I'll try. 1494 00:57:45.920 --> 00:57:47.592 Okay? I'll try. Try to what? 1495 00:57:47.760 --> 00:57:49.398 I'll try to just... 1496 00:57:50.720 --> 00:57:55.032 ...understand that person better. 1497 00:57:57.720 --> 00:57:58.720 Come here. 1498 00:58:09.720 --> 00:58:10.755 Hey. 1499 00:58:12.720 --> 00:58:13.720 Hi. 1500 00:58:13.800 --> 00:58:16.712 Long night. What are you doing? 1501 00:58:18.120 --> 00:58:19.599 Just chilling. 1502 00:58:20.600 --> 00:58:22.636 Barb, is that my shirt? 1503 00:58:22.800 --> 00:58:24.711 I don't know, is it? 1504 00:58:24.880 --> 00:58:26.438 Want me to take it off? 1505 00:58:26.600 --> 00:58:29.114 Would you, please? I only brought two dress shirts. 1506 00:58:29.280 --> 00:58:30.554 I really don't feel like ironing 1507 00:58:30.640 --> 00:58:32.073 while I'm on this trip. 1508 00:58:33.920 --> 00:58:35.558 I'm so exhausted. 1509 00:58:37.560 --> 00:58:38.629 Oh, yeah. 1510 00:58:38.800 --> 00:58:40.119 Take it off, baby. 1511 00:58:40.280 --> 00:58:43.716 Yeah! Take it off. Take off those shoes, girl. 1512 00:58:43.880 --> 00:58:47.156 Let me see those feet. I wanna see those feet! 1513 00:58:47.320 --> 00:58:48.680 Did you hit your head or something? 1514 00:58:48.800 --> 00:58:51.109 Yeah. Let me smell that shoe. 1515 00:58:51.240 --> 00:58:52.256 You don't wanna smell my shoe. 1516 00:58:52.280 --> 00:58:53.280 Yeah, I want feet! 1517 00:58:53.400 --> 00:58:55.436 I want those feet out of those socks. 1518 00:58:55.600 --> 00:58:56.919 Barb, what happened to you? 1519 00:58:57.080 --> 00:58:58.957 I am so stoned right now. 1520 00:58:59.080 --> 00:59:00.080 What? 1521 00:59:00.240 --> 00:59:02.310 Yeah, I am so baked. 1522 00:59:02.480 --> 00:59:04.277 I am like super baked. 1523 00:59:04.440 --> 00:59:06.635 Barb. What? Where did you? 1524 00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:09.439 I was very lonely after you guys left. 1525 00:59:09.600 --> 00:59:13.912 And I saw this guy, and he had a cigarette. 1526 00:59:14.080 --> 00:59:16.514 I thought it was one of those electronic cigarettes. 1527 00:59:16.680 --> 00:59:17.749 They're called E-cigs. 1528 00:59:17.840 --> 00:59:18.840 Yeah. 1529 00:59:19.000 --> 00:59:20.797 But turns out... 1530 00:59:20.960 --> 00:59:22.791 I was vaping. 1531 00:59:22.960 --> 00:59:23.995 What? 1532 00:59:24.200 --> 00:59:25.474 I was vaping. 1533 00:59:25.640 --> 00:59:26.640 What is that? 1534 00:59:26.800 --> 00:59:29.758 It's marijuana that comes out of some kind of machine. 1535 00:59:29.960 --> 00:59:31.632 Keep your voice down! Ned, it's legal. 1536 00:59:31.800 --> 00:59:34.633 Oh, this poor boy had it for sleep apnea. 1537 00:59:34.840 --> 00:59:37.638 At his age? So sad. I'm going to bed. That's it. 1538 00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:39.717 No, no, no. Wait! 1539 00:59:39.880 --> 00:59:41.136 - Barbara, I'm tired. - Wait a minute. 1540 00:59:41.160 --> 00:59:42.160 And I've got a headache. 1541 00:59:42.320 --> 00:59:44.311 Let's play a little bit, huh? No, no. 1542 00:59:44.480 --> 00:59:46.630 I'll give you one of my patented massages. 1543 00:59:46.720 --> 00:59:48.119 Barb. Let's take the Little Cheese 1544 00:59:48.200 --> 00:59:49.315 out for a spin. No, no, no. 1545 00:59:49.480 --> 00:59:50.880 Come on, let me just see him. Don't. 1546 00:59:51.000 --> 00:59:52.616 I just want to see him. Don't call him that. 1547 00:59:52.640 --> 00:59:53.709 Please. Come on. 1548 00:59:53.880 --> 00:59:54.915 Oh, my God! 1549 00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:57.560 You used to love getting high and fooling around. 1550 00:59:57.720 --> 00:59:59.119 What? Barb! No, Barb. 1551 00:59:59.320 --> 01:00:01.016 We're on vacation! But someone could walk... 1552 01:00:01.040 --> 01:00:02.519 There's no locks on the door! 1553 01:00:02.680 --> 01:00:03.680 What? 1554 01:00:03.840 --> 01:00:06.559 Justine! Do you have any Kiss? 1555 01:00:06.720 --> 01:00:08.358 Oh, hell yeah! 1556 01:00:08.520 --> 01:00:09.839 Are you kids gonna do it? Yes. 1557 01:00:10.040 --> 01:00:12.190 No. We're doing it already. 1558 01:00:12.360 --> 01:00:13.634 We're doing it right now. Barb! 1559 01:00:13.800 --> 01:00:15.200 I'm doing it with my feet. One foot. 1560 01:00:15.240 --> 01:00:17.356 That's Kiss! Honey, you love Kiss! 1561 01:00:17.520 --> 01:00:18.919 But not right now. 1562 01:00:21.720 --> 01:00:25.349 Ned was made for loving Barb 1563 01:00:25.520 --> 01:00:26.555 Yell! 1564 01:00:31.320 --> 01:00:32.958 Yeah. Yeah. 1565 01:00:33.040 --> 01:00:34.136 Look what I learned at the party. 1566 01:00:34.160 --> 01:00:35.160 What? 1567 01:00:35.240 --> 01:00:37.560 There was this real cute girl, and she was going like this. 1568 01:00:39.280 --> 01:00:41.032 She was doing this cute, new dance. 1569 01:00:41.240 --> 01:00:42.878 You're gonna throw your back out. 1570 01:00:43.040 --> 01:00:44.678 I'm not gonna throw my... 1571 01:00:44.840 --> 01:00:45.909 I'll throw you out. 1572 01:00:46.120 --> 01:00:47.800 Let me get on you. Wait, do you smell that? 1573 01:00:47.840 --> 01:00:49.432 I'm putting him in. What is that scent? 1574 01:00:49.600 --> 01:00:50.749 There. Oh, it's in. 1575 01:00:52.880 --> 01:00:54.552 What is that? Oh, my God. 1576 01:00:54.720 --> 01:00:55.755 Oh, my God! 1577 01:00:55.960 --> 01:00:58.918 Is that Indian Summer by Priscilla Presley? 1578 01:00:59.080 --> 01:01:01.230 I used to wear that perfume in the 90s. 1579 01:01:01.400 --> 01:01:03.231 Yup, pumping some in. 1580 01:01:03.400 --> 01:01:06.119 I saw you mentioned it on your college reunion's Facebook page. 1581 01:01:06.280 --> 01:01:07.918 I know what you like, Ned. 1582 01:01:08.080 --> 01:01:09.957 Oh, I know you do, dawg. 1583 01:01:10.120 --> 01:01:12.350 Yeah, get in there. Get it! 1584 01:01:12.560 --> 01:01:14.039 Barb! Get you some! 1585 01:01:14.200 --> 01:01:15.952 Get it! Good. Oh, that's... Okay. 1586 01:01:16.120 --> 01:01:17.599 Yeah. You're almost in there. 1587 01:01:17.760 --> 01:01:19.591 No, you're, like, six inches away from it. 1588 01:01:19.760 --> 01:01:22.035 Get in there. Yeah, that's the spirit. 1589 01:01:22.240 --> 01:01:23.753 Barb. Oh! Yeah! 1590 01:01:23.920 --> 01:01:24.920 Barb! That's good. 1591 01:01:25.080 --> 01:01:26.911 Oh, that's good. You're getting into it now. 1592 01:01:27.120 --> 01:01:28.235 - That's it! - No! 1593 01:01:28.400 --> 01:01:30.470 No, no! Take me! Yes! Take me! 1594 01:01:30.640 --> 01:01:31.709 I'm not... Take me. 1595 01:01:31.880 --> 01:01:33.776 I'm taking you right to bed. That's what I'm doing. 1596 01:01:33.800 --> 01:01:35.074 Here you go. Yes. 1597 01:01:35.160 --> 01:01:36.275 No, I wanna do sex. 1598 01:01:36.440 --> 01:01:37.776 We are not gonna do sex. No, honey. 1599 01:01:37.800 --> 01:01:38.915 But I want to. 1600 01:01:39.080 --> 01:01:40.376 Justine, turn all the music off please... 1601 01:01:40.400 --> 01:01:41.435 I wanna do it. 1602 01:01:41.600 --> 01:01:43.136 ...and leave us alone for the rest of the night. 1603 01:01:43.160 --> 01:01:44.388 It's gonna be full penetration! 1604 01:01:44.560 --> 01:01:45.788 Would you stop! 1605 01:01:49.880 --> 01:01:51.632 Psst... Hey, girl. 1606 01:01:52.240 --> 01:01:53.639 Fifth button from the right. 1607 01:01:54.800 --> 01:01:56.279 You'll thank me later. 1608 01:02:10.440 --> 01:02:12.760 Mama, won't you please let me Mama, won't you please let me 1609 01:02:12.800 --> 01:02:13.994 Mmm... 1610 01:02:14.160 --> 01:02:15.320 Mama, won't you please let me 1611 01:02:25.120 --> 01:02:27.395 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1612 01:02:27.480 --> 01:02:29.835 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1613 01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:32.309 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1614 01:02:32.480 --> 01:02:34.835 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1615 01:02:34.960 --> 01:02:37.315 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1616 01:02:37.480 --> 01:02:39.675 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1617 01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:42.149 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1618 01:02:42.320 --> 01:02:44.629 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1619 01:02:52.840 --> 01:02:54.034 There we go, girls. 1620 01:03:30.440 --> 01:03:31.440 Oh! 1621 01:03:32.400 --> 01:03:33.549 Okay. You all right? 1622 01:03:33.720 --> 01:03:35.233 Yeah. Oh, man. 1623 01:03:35.400 --> 01:03:36.435 That's it. 1624 01:03:36.600 --> 01:03:37.856 Dude, I thought I was gonna make it. 1625 01:03:37.880 --> 01:03:39.393 I know. You almost did, but... 1626 01:03:40.200 --> 01:03:41.599 Very good evasive parkour. 1627 01:03:41.720 --> 01:03:43.392 Yes, but the last move you ate shit. 1628 01:03:43.560 --> 01:03:44.675 I know. 1629 01:03:44.880 --> 01:03:46.096 I'll put you on the table later 1630 01:03:46.120 --> 01:03:47.400 and we'll do a little adjustment. 1631 01:04:00.240 --> 01:04:01.593 Ah! 1632 01:04:02.080 --> 01:04:05.436 Christmas tree shopping with the Big Cheese. 1633 01:04:05.600 --> 01:04:07.750 Ned, you don't know how excited I am about this. 1634 01:04:07.920 --> 01:04:09.876 I don't know if I ever mentioned this, 1635 01:04:10.040 --> 01:04:12.200 but I never had a father to do this kind of stuff with. 1636 01:04:12.280 --> 01:04:14.589 I'm glad we're getting a chance to hang out. 1637 01:04:15.600 --> 01:04:16.635 That's nice. 1638 01:04:17.920 --> 01:04:19.751 Uh, it's not getting me hard. 1639 01:04:20.720 --> 01:04:23.075 You need an erection to buy a Christmas tree? 1640 01:04:23.640 --> 01:04:24.640 Helps. 1641 01:04:26.600 --> 01:04:27.953 I wanna get to know you better. 1642 01:04:28.120 --> 01:04:29.439 I mean, you're so perfect. 1643 01:04:29.600 --> 01:04:32.353 Seriously, did you always have your shit together? 1644 01:04:32.440 --> 01:04:33.440 Oh, heck no. 1645 01:04:33.560 --> 01:04:35.312 I got fired selling Datsuns. 1646 01:04:37.400 --> 01:04:39.789 How'd you fuck up selling little dogs? 1647 01:04:40.960 --> 01:04:42.951 No. Datsuns. 1648 01:04:43.640 --> 01:04:44.675 What's that? 1649 01:04:44.760 --> 01:04:45.909 It's a car. Doesn't matter. 1650 01:04:46.080 --> 01:04:47.354 It doesn't exist anymore. 1651 01:04:47.520 --> 01:04:48.999 But you're still here. 1652 01:04:50.680 --> 01:04:53.831 You ever get nervous about shifting tides? 1653 01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:57.629 Well, you know, every business has its ups and downs. 1654 01:04:57.800 --> 01:04:59.358 Yeah, I know it, bro. 1655 01:04:59.520 --> 01:05:01.988 Guerrilla Gang, it's been struggling a little bit. 1656 01:05:02.800 --> 01:05:04.153 Really? 1657 01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:06.595 Yeah, it's just a fucking tough landscape, dude. 1658 01:05:08.360 --> 01:05:10.510 What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 1659 01:05:11.800 --> 01:05:13.472 Whoa. 1660 01:05:14.200 --> 01:05:16.668 Chills. Did you come up with that? 1661 01:05:17.840 --> 01:05:19.159 No, Laird. 1662 01:05:21.320 --> 01:05:22.320 Whoa, whoa. 1663 01:05:23.720 --> 01:05:25.039 There she blows, Ned. 1664 01:05:25.560 --> 01:05:27.198 It's our motherfucking tree. 1665 01:05:27.400 --> 01:05:29.630 Why not? It'll look great opposite your moose. 1666 01:05:30.360 --> 01:05:32.396 Ned, Ned. Not that one. 1667 01:05:33.800 --> 01:05:34.994 That one. 1668 01:05:38.240 --> 01:05:39.958 Oh, no. See, Laird... 1669 01:05:40.160 --> 01:05:41.513 that doesn't belong to this lot. 1670 01:05:41.680 --> 01:05:42.680 See, it's owned by... 1671 01:05:42.840 --> 01:05:44.671 Wet games? Wewt Games. 1672 01:05:44.840 --> 01:05:46.068 Like, 'woot-woot'. 1673 01:05:46.200 --> 01:05:47.633 I know those dudes. They're dicks. 1674 01:05:47.800 --> 01:05:49.392 Tried to rip off Ape Assassins. 1675 01:05:49.560 --> 01:05:51.835 Plus, it's the first Christmas with the family, dude. 1676 01:05:52.000 --> 01:05:53.000 Gotta do it right. 1677 01:05:53.160 --> 01:05:54.160 Hey, buddy. 1678 01:05:54.200 --> 01:05:55.200 Yeah. 1679 01:05:55.320 --> 01:05:56.673 Can I borrow that chainsaw? 1680 01:05:56.840 --> 01:05:57.875 Are you serious? 1681 01:05:58.520 --> 01:05:59.520 Yeah. 1682 01:06:00.360 --> 01:06:02.191 Fucking... 1683 01:06:02.920 --> 01:06:04.035 Come on. 1684 01:06:05.720 --> 01:06:06.869 Will you hurry up? 1685 01:06:07.040 --> 01:06:08.553 I'm trying. 1686 01:06:08.720 --> 01:06:11.029 Come on, guy. I need my chainsaw back. 1687 01:06:11.200 --> 01:06:12.553 Just give me a second. 1688 01:06:12.720 --> 01:06:13.960 Should we call an ambulance now, 1689 01:06:14.040 --> 01:06:15.393 or wait till he loses a finger? 1690 01:06:17.400 --> 01:06:18.549 Can I borrow those? 1691 01:06:19.520 --> 01:06:20.669 Have at it. 1692 01:06:21.440 --> 01:06:22.759 Okay. Laird just... 1693 01:06:22.920 --> 01:06:23.989 Okay. 1694 01:06:24.080 --> 01:06:25.080 Hand it over? 1695 01:06:25.200 --> 01:06:26.235 You sure, Ned? Yup. 1696 01:06:31.800 --> 01:06:33.518 Oh! 1697 01:06:34.040 --> 01:06:35.917 Total fucking Dad move! 1698 01:06:48.080 --> 01:06:51.789 Oh, shit! 1699 01:06:51.920 --> 01:06:54.480 You keep on dancing and the room gets hot 1700 01:06:55.080 --> 01:06:58.311 You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy 1701 01:07:01.160 --> 01:07:05.392 I wanna rock and roll all night... 1702 01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:08.232 Love Kiss! 1703 01:07:09.800 --> 01:07:11.279 Kiss, baby! 1704 01:07:11.440 --> 01:07:12.839 These guys are awesome! 1705 01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:15.639 Stephanie and I do karaoke to Kiss all the time. 1706 01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:17.796 Dude, I know, that's why I put it on! 1707 01:07:17.960 --> 01:07:19.791 And we do a pretty good job, too, 1708 01:07:19.960 --> 01:07:21.109 if I might say so. Oh, man. 1709 01:07:21.640 --> 01:07:23.232 That's cute. Yeah. 1710 01:07:25.080 --> 01:07:27.594 Listen, Laird, I've been thinking about 1711 01:07:27.680 --> 01:07:29.272 our teepee talk yesterday. 1712 01:07:29.480 --> 01:07:30.959 Oh, dude, me too. 1713 01:07:31.120 --> 01:07:32.951 I've got so many ideas for the proposal. 1714 01:07:33.120 --> 01:07:34.951 No. No. Ned, hear me out. 1715 01:07:35.120 --> 01:07:37.315 I was thinking about getting the Goodyear blimp, 1716 01:07:37.480 --> 01:07:38.560 releasing a thousand doves. 1717 01:07:38.640 --> 01:07:39.675 No. Wait. 1718 01:07:39.840 --> 01:07:41.200 Laird, just hold on a second, okay? 1719 01:07:41.320 --> 01:07:42.320 Slow down. Okay. 1720 01:07:42.800 --> 01:07:46.110 Look, I get it that Stephanie really likes you. 1721 01:07:46.280 --> 01:07:47.280 But... Uh-huh. 1722 01:07:47.920 --> 01:07:49.638 Look. Man to man. Yeah. 1723 01:07:49.800 --> 01:07:52.360 Now is not the time. 1724 01:07:52.520 --> 01:07:55.592 Dude, Ned, I thought we were getting past all that. 1725 01:07:55.800 --> 01:07:57.153 No, it's not me. 1726 01:07:57.320 --> 01:07:58.469 It's all about Stephanie. 1727 01:07:58.640 --> 01:07:59.709 Stephanie? Yes. 1728 01:07:59.840 --> 01:08:00.840 I don't know, dude. 1729 01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:03.992 These last few semesters are gonna be so intense. 1730 01:08:04.160 --> 01:08:05.639 And then there's graduation, 1731 01:08:05.720 --> 01:08:06.994 and she'll be looking for a job. 1732 01:08:07.160 --> 01:08:08.680 And who knows where that will take her. 1733 01:08:08.840 --> 01:08:10.353 It's just... All right, Ned... 1734 01:08:10.560 --> 01:08:11.816 I wasn't supposed to tell you this, 1735 01:08:11.840 --> 01:08:13.558 but I just wanna put your mind at ease. 1736 01:08:15.320 --> 01:08:18.153 Stephanie is not going back to school next semester. 1737 01:08:19.840 --> 01:08:20.840 What? 1738 01:08:21.240 --> 01:08:24.949 Dude, I know you're probably shocked, but do not worry. 1739 01:08:25.160 --> 01:08:26.832 She's already got this awesome job 1740 01:08:26.920 --> 01:08:28.512 lined up at this non-profit. 1741 01:08:29.840 --> 01:08:32.035 What organization is that exactly? 1742 01:08:33.240 --> 01:08:36.869 She's going to be president of the Laird Mayhew Foundation. 1743 01:08:41.760 --> 01:08:43.239 That's me. 1744 01:08:45.040 --> 01:08:46.189 Stephanie! 1745 01:08:46.360 --> 01:08:47.360 Barb? 1746 01:08:47.560 --> 01:08:50.074 Everybody upstairs right now, family meeting! 1747 01:08:50.320 --> 01:08:51.896 Ned, would you like me to schedule a meeting? 1748 01:08:51.920 --> 01:08:52.955 Oh, fuck off! 1749 01:08:53.040 --> 01:08:54.040 Just trying to help. 1750 01:08:54.080 --> 01:08:55.576 You don't always have to be such an asshole. 1751 01:08:55.600 --> 01:08:56.828 Yes, I do! 1752 01:08:57.560 --> 01:08:59.391 Dad. You are so dead. 1753 01:08:59.560 --> 01:09:01.994 Shut up. Of course I was going to tell you. 1754 01:09:02.200 --> 01:09:03.679 I told Mom yesterday at the mall. 1755 01:09:03.840 --> 01:09:05.856 I was just waiting for the right time to bring it up 1756 01:09:05.880 --> 01:09:07.216 and that hasn't happened. Wait a minute. 1757 01:09:07.240 --> 01:09:08.240 You knew? 1758 01:09:08.360 --> 01:09:12.399 Honestly, honey, we thought you might freak out. 1759 01:09:12.560 --> 01:09:14.437 So we decided to wait until 1760 01:09:14.560 --> 01:09:16.755 after Christmas to bring it up. 1761 01:09:16.960 --> 01:09:18.960 But, okay, he told you about the foundation, right? 1762 01:09:19.120 --> 01:09:20.872 Yes. Yes, okay. 1763 01:09:21.040 --> 01:09:22.376 This is a big part of why I wanted you 1764 01:09:22.400 --> 01:09:24.436 to come out here and meet Laird. 1765 01:09:25.400 --> 01:09:28.949 Stephanie, even if he wasn't this abject lunatic, 1766 01:09:29.120 --> 01:09:30.235 which he is, 1767 01:09:30.400 --> 01:09:33.278 I still wouldn't understand why. 1768 01:09:33.480 --> 01:09:34.959 You've only got a few semesters left 1769 01:09:35.080 --> 01:09:36.195 before you graduate. 1770 01:09:36.400 --> 01:09:38.072 Why would you just throw that away? 1771 01:09:38.240 --> 01:09:39.576 I'm not throwing anything away, Dad. 1772 01:09:39.600 --> 01:09:40.736 The year I spent in Central America 1773 01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:42.079 doing this kind of work, 1774 01:09:43.120 --> 01:09:46.430 I know you think that I'm making some rash decision 1775 01:09:46.600 --> 01:09:47.600 and I'm not. 1776 01:09:47.760 --> 01:09:50.115 We've spent months figuring it out. 1777 01:09:50.280 --> 01:09:51.508 All the months 1778 01:09:51.600 --> 01:09:53.716 where you didn't even tell us you had a boyfriend. 1779 01:09:53.880 --> 01:09:54.880 All those months? 1780 01:09:55.320 --> 01:09:56.753 Darling... 1781 01:09:56.960 --> 01:09:58.439 I think you should hear her out 1782 01:09:58.600 --> 01:10:00.955 because it actually sounds very interesting. 1783 01:10:01.080 --> 01:10:02.080 Does it? 1784 01:10:02.120 --> 01:10:04.111 Are you willing to listen to me? 1785 01:10:04.280 --> 01:10:05.280 Give it your best shot. 1786 01:10:06.120 --> 01:10:08.793 The plan is to focus on women's health 1787 01:10:08.960 --> 01:10:10.776 as a function of environmental change in the Third World. 1788 01:10:10.800 --> 01:10:11.800 Right. All right. 1789 01:10:11.840 --> 01:10:12.976 And when all that goes belly-up, 1790 01:10:13.000 --> 01:10:14.200 you know what you're left with? 1791 01:10:14.240 --> 01:10:16.276 What? Being a college dropout. 1792 01:10:16.480 --> 01:10:17.959 That's it. You don't get it. 1793 01:10:18.120 --> 01:10:19.120 Oh, I don't get it? 1794 01:10:19.280 --> 01:10:20.952 No, you just, like, don't get it at all. 1795 01:10:21.320 --> 01:10:22.799 Oh. What is that? 1796 01:10:24.280 --> 01:10:25.429 It's a tattoo. 1797 01:10:25.600 --> 01:10:26.953 With his name? You got a tattoo? 1798 01:10:27.160 --> 01:10:29.116 You've marked your body with his name on it. 1799 01:10:29.280 --> 01:10:30.349 Look at that, Barb! 1800 01:10:30.520 --> 01:10:31.953 Oh, no. 1801 01:10:32.160 --> 01:10:33.832 That is so cute. 1802 01:10:34.040 --> 01:10:35.280 Let me see. I wanna see. 1803 01:10:35.320 --> 01:10:37.200 Laird's been telling me I should get a neck tat. 1804 01:10:37.360 --> 01:10:38.588 I see what Laird is doing here. 1805 01:10:38.760 --> 01:10:40.600 I see what he's doing. 1806 01:10:40.760 --> 01:10:44.150 He is trying to put his imprint on this entire family. 1807 01:10:44.320 --> 01:10:47.437 And that is why we've got all these secrets now. 1808 01:10:47.600 --> 01:10:48.999 And it's all because of him! 1809 01:10:49.160 --> 01:10:51.037 Why do you have such a big problem with Laird? 1810 01:10:51.200 --> 01:10:53.031 Great question. You know why? Why? 1811 01:10:53.200 --> 01:10:55.156 Because of his influence, 1812 01:10:55.320 --> 01:10:56.673 you drop out of college. 1813 01:10:56.840 --> 01:10:59.035 Because of his influence, you get a "too." 1814 01:10:59.200 --> 01:11:00.320 Dad, I think you mean "tat." 1815 01:11:00.400 --> 01:11:01.440 You definitely mean "tat." 1816 01:11:01.480 --> 01:11:02.616 I mean "tat?" It's not a "too?" 1817 01:11:02.640 --> 01:11:03.776 "Tat." No, it's not a "too." No. 1818 01:11:03.800 --> 01:11:05.313 No, I saw it on Geraldo. 1819 01:11:05.480 --> 01:11:07.232 They call them "toos," okay? Okay. 1820 01:11:07.400 --> 01:11:09.470 This is what's going to be your downward spiral. 1821 01:11:09.640 --> 01:11:11.232 First you get a tattoo, 1822 01:11:11.400 --> 01:11:12.992 then you start vaporizing. 1823 01:11:13.200 --> 01:11:14.792 - What? - You're vaporizing. 1824 01:11:14.960 --> 01:11:16.518 What are you talking about? 1825 01:11:16.680 --> 01:11:19.638 When you have... It's an e-cigarette. 1826 01:11:19.800 --> 01:11:22.473 But instead of tobacco or a fake tobacco, 1827 01:11:22.640 --> 01:11:24.358 no, you have marijuana in that e-cigarette. 1828 01:11:24.520 --> 01:11:25.748 Dad, I know what it is. Yeah. 1829 01:11:25.920 --> 01:11:27.319 How do you know what it is? 1830 01:11:27.480 --> 01:11:30.358 Because I've been around. Haven't I? 1831 01:11:32.160 --> 01:11:33.195 Mm-hmm. 1832 01:11:33.360 --> 01:11:34.952 Then you go from there to heroin. 1833 01:11:35.040 --> 01:11:36.075 Mm-hmm, that's right. 1834 01:11:36.240 --> 01:11:38.470 After that, after you get hooked on drugs, 1835 01:11:38.560 --> 01:11:39.640 you know what happens next? 1836 01:11:39.720 --> 01:11:40.720 What? 1837 01:11:40.760 --> 01:11:41.856 You'll become a hooker, a prostitute... 1838 01:11:41.880 --> 01:11:42.995 a pimp's bitch. 1839 01:11:43.080 --> 01:11:44.752 That's what's going to happen to you. 1840 01:11:44.920 --> 01:11:46.194 I see it very clearly. 1841 01:11:46.400 --> 01:11:48.868 Oh, my... How long do I have? 1842 01:11:49.040 --> 01:11:50.917 I'm glad you asked. Not long. 1843 01:11:51.080 --> 01:11:54.231 You keep going down this path, at this rate, not long. 1844 01:11:54.400 --> 01:11:56.868 You're clearly not in a place to listen to me right now. 1845 01:11:57.080 --> 01:11:58.080 So I'm gonna go. 1846 01:11:58.240 --> 01:11:59.560 Thank you, Pops, for the guidance. 1847 01:11:59.720 --> 01:12:00.914 Thank you. You're welcome. 1848 01:12:46.640 --> 01:12:49.438 When the line froze, what did I see? 1849 01:12:49.920 --> 01:12:52.115 A bad mother fucker standing next to me 1850 01:12:52.400 --> 01:12:53.435 Boom! 1851 01:12:57.640 --> 01:12:59.949 Be free like a bird so today I'ma fly 1852 01:13:00.120 --> 01:13:02.588 Bad, bad motherfucker 'til the day I die 1853 01:13:04.000 --> 01:13:05.592 Boss, let me get this straight. 1854 01:13:05.760 --> 01:13:06.875 You want me to hack into 1855 01:13:06.960 --> 01:13:08.791 Stephanie's boyfriend's computer 1856 01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:10.552 and find out if there's any record 1857 01:13:10.640 --> 01:13:12.119 of him starting a foundation? 1858 01:13:12.320 --> 01:13:13.320 Yes, I do. 1859 01:13:13.480 --> 01:13:15.391 Listen, Kevin, you are my IT guy. 1860 01:13:15.480 --> 01:13:16.680 I've got nowhere else to turn. 1861 01:13:16.840 --> 01:13:19.149 You know I've always thought so highly of Stephanie. 1862 01:13:19.320 --> 01:13:21.629 Yeah, she thinks a lot about you. 1863 01:13:21.800 --> 01:13:23.677 Really? Oh, yeah. 1864 01:13:23.840 --> 01:13:25.637 That's so crazy. Now, listen. 1865 01:13:25.800 --> 01:13:27.176 I know that this character has money, 1866 01:13:27.200 --> 01:13:29.120 but there's something about this whole foundation 1867 01:13:29.160 --> 01:13:30.480 that sounds like a bunch of hooey. 1868 01:13:30.640 --> 01:13:34.030 If this guy's running hooey, then I'm gonna find out. 1869 01:13:34.200 --> 01:13:35.400 Okay, first thing's first, Ned, 1870 01:13:35.480 --> 01:13:37.038 you have to break into his computer 1871 01:13:37.200 --> 01:13:39.839 and download a program that I'm gonna send you. 1872 01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:41.319 That's hacking? 1873 01:13:43.840 --> 01:13:45.990 I took a shower, washing every body part... 1874 01:13:47.480 --> 01:13:49.357 Yeah, okay. I'm getting online. 1875 01:13:51.160 --> 01:13:52.991 Kevin, what are you doing? Huh, baby? 1876 01:13:53.160 --> 01:13:55.390 Oh, I'm helping Ned with something IT-related. 1877 01:13:55.560 --> 01:13:56.834 Oh, tell Ned I said hi. 1878 01:13:57.000 --> 01:13:58.000 Okay. 1879 01:13:58.880 --> 01:14:00.080 All right, webcam's on. 1880 01:14:01.400 --> 01:14:02.760 Okay, I'm in the office. 1881 01:14:02.880 --> 01:14:04.836 All right, now get in front of the computer. 1882 01:14:05.040 --> 01:14:07.918 All right, good. Press the spacebar. 1883 01:14:09.360 --> 01:14:11.351 Oh, darn. It's asking for a password. 1884 01:14:11.480 --> 01:14:12.480 No surprise. 1885 01:14:12.520 --> 01:14:16.195 A lot of guys have passwords related to their girlfriends or their wives. 1886 01:14:17.000 --> 01:14:19.878 Kevin, you're a genius. That's what I have! 1887 01:14:20.040 --> 01:14:22.873 It's "Barbsguy1989." The year we were married. 1888 01:14:23.880 --> 01:14:26.348 The younger generation tends to go a little bit racier. 1889 01:14:26.560 --> 01:14:28.320 I'm gonna get into some sensitive areas here, 1890 01:14:28.400 --> 01:14:29.719 so just bear with me. 1891 01:14:29.880 --> 01:14:33.270 We need to focus on Stephanie's more defining qualities 1892 01:14:33.440 --> 01:14:35.078 that this guy might latch onto. 1893 01:14:35.280 --> 01:14:36.600 Do you understand what I'm saying? 1894 01:14:36.720 --> 01:14:38.392 Would you just get to it? 1895 01:14:38.560 --> 01:14:40.391 For example, like, would you say... 1896 01:14:40.560 --> 01:14:42.516 Stephanie has perky breasts? 1897 01:14:44.240 --> 01:14:45.389 What? Okay. 1898 01:14:45.560 --> 01:14:47.198 I would say yes, because she does. 1899 01:14:47.360 --> 01:14:49.874 Please try "Stephanie's boobs" one word, no caps. 1900 01:14:50.040 --> 01:14:51.075 I'm her dad! 1901 01:14:51.240 --> 01:14:52.912 I understand that you're her dad, 1902 01:14:53.080 --> 01:14:54.672 but you gotta think like him. 1903 01:14:54.880 --> 01:14:55.915 Okay? 1904 01:15:01.760 --> 01:15:02.760 No. 1905 01:15:02.880 --> 01:15:04.438 We're gonna have to kick it up a notch. 1906 01:15:04.640 --> 01:15:06.278 You said that this guy was edgy? 1907 01:15:06.920 --> 01:15:09.434 Please try "Stephanie's tight ass." 1908 01:15:09.560 --> 01:15:10.595 Give that a whirl. 1909 01:15:11.640 --> 01:15:13.631 Are you messing with me, Dingle? 1910 01:15:13.800 --> 01:15:15.711 I wish I was messing with you. 1911 01:15:15.880 --> 01:15:17.074 I'm trying to help you, Ned. 1912 01:15:17.280 --> 01:15:19.475 Make the two "S's" dollar signs in "ass." 1913 01:15:19.640 --> 01:15:20.755 God! 1914 01:15:20.920 --> 01:15:23.275 I am going straight to hell just for typing this. 1915 01:15:23.440 --> 01:15:25.112 Tight ass. 1916 01:15:26.320 --> 01:15:27.878 No. Hey, guys? 1917 01:15:28.080 --> 01:15:29.760 Do you wanna raise the volume on the movie? 1918 01:15:29.800 --> 01:15:30.800 Okay. 1919 01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:33.719 Okay. I'm just gonna list some off, you type them in. 1920 01:15:34.280 --> 01:15:36.430 All right, try "Stephanie's sweet slit." 1921 01:15:36.600 --> 01:15:38.591 I am not writing that! 1922 01:15:38.800 --> 01:15:40.472 Okay, "Stephanie's pink canoe." 1923 01:15:40.680 --> 01:15:41.680 No! 1924 01:15:41.840 --> 01:15:43.080 Listen, this isn't fun for me. 1925 01:15:47.280 --> 01:15:48.599 Oh, my God. What is it? 1926 01:15:48.760 --> 01:15:50.159 It's the password! 1927 01:15:50.320 --> 01:15:52.356 The one piece of paper in the entire house. 1928 01:15:52.520 --> 01:15:53.936 What does it say? I'm gonna log it in. 1929 01:15:53.960 --> 01:15:56.110 "Stephanie's dude." 1930 01:15:57.320 --> 01:15:59.197 Aw, that's actually sweet. 1931 01:15:59.360 --> 01:16:00.509 "2016." 1932 01:16:00.680 --> 01:16:01.680 Boom! We're in. 1933 01:16:01.840 --> 01:16:02.840 Oh, gosh! 1934 01:16:03.000 --> 01:16:04.149 What? What is it? 1935 01:16:04.320 --> 01:16:06.276 It's a nude photograph of Stephanie. 1936 01:16:06.440 --> 01:16:07.998 May I see it, please? No. 1937 01:16:08.160 --> 01:16:09.160 May I please see it? 1938 01:16:09.320 --> 01:16:10.753 I said no! Okay. 1939 01:16:10.960 --> 01:16:12.840 Go to your EarthLink account in the web browser. 1940 01:16:13.120 --> 01:16:15.634 EarthLink, EarthLink, okay. Press. 1941 01:16:16.160 --> 01:16:17.309 I give it my password. 1942 01:16:17.640 --> 01:16:18.675 Okay. 1943 01:16:19.200 --> 01:16:20.952 Okay. I just emailed you a file. 1944 01:16:21.040 --> 01:16:22.951 Download that and open it on his desktop. 1945 01:16:23.640 --> 01:16:25.870 Ned, we're gonna fucking nail this guy! We're good! 1946 01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:27.513 We're hacking, baby! 1947 01:16:27.680 --> 01:16:28.874 We're gonna nail him. 1948 01:16:29.040 --> 01:16:31.280 We're gonna nail him the way he's been nailing Stephanie. 1949 01:16:31.360 --> 01:16:32.536 Just come with me right now. 1950 01:16:32.560 --> 01:16:33.560 What? 1951 01:16:33.680 --> 01:16:34.696 Why are you taking me to my office? 1952 01:16:34.720 --> 01:16:35.755 Everyone's downstairs. 1953 01:16:35.840 --> 01:16:37.478 Oh, shit! Someone's coming! Okay. Escape! 1954 01:16:37.560 --> 01:16:38.595 Oh, God! 1955 01:16:38.680 --> 01:16:39.880 Baby, what are we doing? 1956 01:16:39.960 --> 01:16:41.313 Christmas Eve is about to start. 1957 01:16:41.480 --> 01:16:43.280 What is the matter with you? What's happening? 1958 01:16:43.360 --> 01:16:44.816 I specifically told you... Don't say anything. 1959 01:16:44.840 --> 01:16:48.196 that I wanted to be the one to tell my dad about Stanford. 1960 01:16:48.360 --> 01:16:50.200 I know. We were just... Then why did you do it? 1961 01:16:50.360 --> 01:16:52.669 We were bonding so hard, it just sort of slipped out. 1962 01:16:52.840 --> 01:16:55.638 You clearly have no idea what this means to him. 1963 01:16:55.840 --> 01:16:58.229 He was so proud of me when I got into Stanford. 1964 01:16:58.400 --> 01:17:02.359 He worked so hard to make it happen. 1965 01:17:02.520 --> 01:17:06.035 Me dropping out is like a huge slap in his face. 1966 01:17:06.920 --> 01:17:07.920 Okay. 1967 01:17:08.040 --> 01:17:10.235 I just never had anyone like him in my life before. 1968 01:17:10.400 --> 01:17:11.879 Oh, my God! 1969 01:17:12.680 --> 01:17:14.511 I thought we could just talk it out. 1970 01:17:14.680 --> 01:17:17.240 You could see how that's not your place to do that, right? 1971 01:17:17.440 --> 01:17:18.509 Okay. Maybe not. 1972 01:17:18.680 --> 01:17:19.829 Definitely not. 1973 01:17:20.000 --> 01:17:22.355 Okay, you're right. He was super pissed. 1974 01:17:24.440 --> 01:17:26.431 Sometimes I feel like you're not capable 1975 01:17:26.520 --> 01:17:28.238 of being in a relationship. 1976 01:17:28.400 --> 01:17:30.675 It's time that you get a handle 1977 01:17:30.760 --> 01:17:32.600 on these father issues. 1978 01:17:32.680 --> 01:17:33.715 Wow. 1979 01:17:33.880 --> 01:17:35.393 That's the truth. 1980 01:17:36.240 --> 01:17:38.435 When you call me on my shit... 1981 01:17:38.600 --> 01:17:42.434 My God! It makes me feel so close to you. 1982 01:17:42.600 --> 01:17:45.797 Your honesty has such an effect on me. 1983 01:17:47.080 --> 01:17:49.435 You're making me so fucking horny right now. 1984 01:17:49.800 --> 01:17:50.949 - What? - Yeah. 1985 01:17:51.040 --> 01:17:52.598 That face is boner-bait. 1986 01:17:52.760 --> 01:17:54.600 Can you not see that I'm mad at you? 1987 01:17:54.760 --> 01:17:56.176 Yeah, I see it. That's what's... 1988 01:17:56.200 --> 01:17:57.856 Oh, my God. You're driving me crazy! 1989 01:17:57.880 --> 01:17:59.711 You're not listening to me. 1990 01:18:00.640 --> 01:18:01.640 I'm listening. 1991 01:18:02.280 --> 01:18:03.554 I'm sorry. 1992 01:18:03.720 --> 01:18:04.789 Do you... 1993 01:18:06.160 --> 01:18:07.639 You need therapy. 1994 01:18:11.080 --> 01:18:12.308 Not working. No? 1995 01:18:12.480 --> 01:18:13.754 Mm-mm. Not today, buddy. 1996 01:18:13.920 --> 01:18:15.319 Okay. How about this? 1997 01:18:15.960 --> 01:18:17.075 Is this working? 1998 01:18:19.280 --> 01:18:20.554 A little bit. 1999 01:18:21.280 --> 01:18:22.429 Okay, how about this? 2000 01:18:25.320 --> 01:18:28.676 Okay. That's working a little bit more. 2001 01:18:28.840 --> 01:18:30.398 Laird, I love you. 2002 01:18:30.600 --> 01:18:31.919 But I'm still mad at you. 2003 01:18:32.080 --> 01:18:33.433 I'm sorry. 2004 01:18:42.960 --> 01:18:44.678 I'm so sorry. No, no! 2005 01:18:45.120 --> 01:18:46.120 Okay? 2006 01:18:46.360 --> 01:18:47.360 Yes! 2007 01:18:47.480 --> 01:18:48.480 No! 2008 01:18:51.480 --> 01:18:52.480 You... 2009 01:18:53.440 --> 01:18:55.016 I'm gonna make it up to you. What is happening? 2010 01:18:55.040 --> 01:18:57.560 You just lie back, and I'll give you an early Christmas present. 2011 01:18:57.600 --> 01:18:59.636 You are such a freak. 2012 01:18:59.800 --> 01:19:00.949 I know. 2013 01:19:04.840 --> 01:19:05.875 Here comes Santa. 2014 01:19:06.040 --> 01:19:07.040 Oh, really? 2015 01:19:07.160 --> 01:19:09.151 Ho, ho, ho. Oh, my God. 2016 01:19:09.320 --> 01:19:10.514 Merry Christmas. 2017 01:19:11.480 --> 01:19:14.313 Somebody's been naughty this year. 2018 01:19:16.720 --> 01:19:17.835 Boss? 2019 01:19:18.000 --> 01:19:20.195 Ned. Are you there? Hello? 2020 01:19:20.320 --> 01:19:21.320 Hello? Oh. 2021 01:19:21.400 --> 01:19:23.994 Yes. Kevin, I'm here. What's happening? 2022 01:19:24.120 --> 01:19:25.120 I'm in. 2023 01:19:25.320 --> 01:19:26.680 Do you have access to the Internet? 2024 01:19:26.800 --> 01:19:28.199 Yes, I do. Hold on. 2025 01:19:28.360 --> 01:19:29.634 Wait a second. 2026 01:19:29.800 --> 01:19:31.392 Log into your EarthLink account. 2027 01:19:32.480 --> 01:19:33.480 Okay. Got it. 2028 01:19:33.640 --> 01:19:36.677 I'm gonna send these to you right now. 2029 01:19:36.840 --> 01:19:38.796 Good. You're done, Mayhew. 2030 01:19:40.240 --> 01:19:41.355 What the fuck? 2031 01:19:42.240 --> 01:19:43.832 What happened? Oh, my God. 2032 01:19:44.000 --> 01:19:45.319 Wait, what? What's going on? 2033 01:19:45.480 --> 01:19:47.630 I don't know. He has my face. 2034 01:19:47.760 --> 01:19:48.856 What do you mean he has your face? 2035 01:19:48.880 --> 01:19:49.880 I'm locked out. 2036 01:19:50.000 --> 01:19:51.353 I can't use my computer anymore. 2037 01:19:51.480 --> 01:19:52.480 What? Stop that! 2038 01:19:52.600 --> 01:19:54.000 What's happening? He's onto us, Ned. 2039 01:19:54.040 --> 01:19:55.040 What are you doing? 2040 01:19:55.200 --> 01:19:57.760 We have to abort. Oh, God. Oh, no. 2041 01:19:57.920 --> 01:20:01.071 Move back, motherfuckers Mayhew's here 2042 01:20:01.200 --> 01:20:02.200 Oh, fuck! 2043 01:20:02.240 --> 01:20:03.440 He's a mythical creature, Ned. 2044 01:20:03.520 --> 01:20:04.520 He's what? 2045 01:20:05.400 --> 01:20:08.073 What the fuck? Oh, God. 2046 01:20:08.280 --> 01:20:10.077 He's pulling out his penis! 2047 01:20:11.000 --> 01:20:12.433 Oh, my God. 2048 01:20:12.600 --> 01:20:14.511 He's balls deep in my digital butt. 2049 01:20:17.080 --> 01:20:18.216 Are you watching porn? 2050 01:20:18.240 --> 01:20:19.355 Turn that off! 2051 01:20:19.520 --> 01:20:20.589 Ned, he's doing it! 2052 01:20:21.200 --> 01:20:22.553 Marnie, it's not good! 2053 01:20:22.920 --> 01:20:24.558 Stay the fuck out! Turn that off! 2054 01:20:24.720 --> 01:20:25.755 Kevin! 2055 01:20:25.920 --> 01:20:26.920 Kevin! 2056 01:20:30.760 --> 01:20:32.239 He has control of the house! 2057 01:20:32.400 --> 01:20:33.435 Come here! 2058 01:20:33.640 --> 01:20:35.376 Kevin, what is happening? We gotta get out of here! 2059 01:20:35.400 --> 01:20:36.400 Go, go, go! 2060 01:20:36.600 --> 01:20:37.600 - What? - Kevin! 2061 01:20:37.760 --> 01:20:39.079 Kevin! 2062 01:20:49.760 --> 01:20:51.876 Oh, my... 2063 01:20:53.760 --> 01:20:57.639 Silent night 2064 01:20:57.800 --> 01:21:01.509 Holy night 2065 01:21:02.320 --> 01:21:05.676 All is calm 2066 01:21:07.040 --> 01:21:09.508 All is bright 2067 01:21:12.240 --> 01:21:13.468 Hi. Hey. 2068 01:21:13.680 --> 01:21:14.999 You know what? Let's not fight. 2069 01:21:15.080 --> 01:21:16.115 Okay. 2070 01:21:16.280 --> 01:21:18.680 I'm sorry, truly, that you found out about Stanford that way. 2071 01:21:18.760 --> 01:21:19.760 Thank you. 2072 01:21:19.840 --> 01:21:21.720 It was not okay of Laird, and he knows that now. 2073 01:21:21.880 --> 01:21:23.256 But I'm confident this is a really good idea. 2074 01:21:23.280 --> 01:21:24.936 Honey, before you continue, I need to tell you something. 2075 01:21:24.960 --> 01:21:27.599 Laird has been lying to you. 2076 01:21:28.160 --> 01:21:29.160 I tried. 2077 01:21:29.360 --> 01:21:30.759 No, no, no. Hey! It's unbelievable! 2078 01:21:30.920 --> 01:21:32.797 He is in serious financial trouble. 2079 01:21:32.960 --> 01:21:34.757 In what way? It's Christmas. 2080 01:21:34.920 --> 01:21:36.148 Ned, you're making a mistake. 2081 01:21:36.320 --> 01:21:38.595 He doesn't have enough money to finance his business, 2082 01:21:38.760 --> 01:21:40.079 let alone a foundation. 2083 01:21:40.160 --> 01:21:41.856 What exactly makes you think that? 2084 01:21:41.880 --> 01:21:43.199 Wait till you see this. 2085 01:21:43.360 --> 01:21:44.475 What's this? Here. 2086 01:21:44.640 --> 01:21:46.551 Look at this, his own bank records. 2087 01:21:46.720 --> 01:21:48.233 All in red. 2088 01:21:50.280 --> 01:21:51.349 Is this for real? 2089 01:21:51.520 --> 01:21:52.589 Yeah, it's true. 2090 01:21:52.800 --> 01:21:55.360 Guerrilla Gang hasn't crushed one in a couple of years. 2091 01:21:55.520 --> 01:21:57.078 So you lied to me? 2092 01:21:57.240 --> 01:21:58.434 I'm dropping out of school 2093 01:21:58.640 --> 01:22:00.960 to start a foundation that you're supposed to be financing. 2094 01:22:01.040 --> 01:22:02.109 Yeah. Yeah. 2095 01:22:02.280 --> 01:22:04.350 Baby, the foundation is all good. 2096 01:22:04.560 --> 01:22:06.278 What are you talking about? 2097 01:22:06.480 --> 01:22:09.790 Ned, there has been a very big misunderstanding. 2098 01:22:09.960 --> 01:22:12.918 These are only Laird's business holdings. 2099 01:22:13.080 --> 01:22:14.080 On the personal side... 2100 01:22:14.280 --> 01:22:15.376 I have put together a moderate, 2101 01:22:15.400 --> 01:22:17.231 conservative private equity sleeve 2102 01:22:17.400 --> 01:22:19.277 that has been performing delightfully. 2103 01:22:19.440 --> 01:22:21.032 You could say that again. Mm-hmm. 2104 01:22:21.200 --> 01:22:22.599 So you followed the Buffett rule? 2105 01:22:22.760 --> 01:22:23.880 Always, dude. 2106 01:22:24.080 --> 01:22:25.752 70/30, stocks to bonds. 2107 01:22:25.840 --> 01:22:26.840 Buffet. 2108 01:22:26.960 --> 01:22:27.960 Nice. 2109 01:22:28.040 --> 01:22:29.136 Your little hacker, Dingle... 2110 01:22:29.160 --> 01:22:30.160 Hacker? 2111 01:22:30.320 --> 01:22:31.992 ...was worming down the wrong hole. 2112 01:22:32.160 --> 01:22:34.549 - Does he mean Kevin Dingle? - Probably. 2113 01:22:34.760 --> 01:22:36.079 No, must be another Dingle. 2114 01:22:36.240 --> 01:22:38.674 Only dingle I know of is the berries on the butt. 2115 01:22:38.840 --> 01:22:40.637 Look, how much money do you have? 2116 01:22:40.760 --> 01:22:41.816 Babe, you don't have to answer this. 2117 01:22:41.840 --> 01:22:42.909 Yes, he does. 2118 01:22:43.000 --> 01:22:44.797 Fine! Full disclosure. 2119 01:22:44.960 --> 01:22:46.154 It's bad. 2120 01:22:47.120 --> 01:22:50.078 I'm down to my last 97 million. 2121 01:22:50.360 --> 01:22:51.918 Laird. 2122 01:22:53.440 --> 01:22:55.271 197 million. 2123 01:22:56.840 --> 01:22:57.875 Boom. 2124 01:22:57.960 --> 01:23:00.155 He's just barely scraping by. 2125 01:23:00.320 --> 01:23:01.480 All you had to do was ask me. 2126 01:23:01.600 --> 01:23:03.636 Gentlemen, I need Deck the Halls, allegro, now. 2127 01:23:04.120 --> 01:23:06.873 Deck the halls with boughs of holly 2128 01:23:07.080 --> 01:23:08.672 Ned, it's the holidays 2129 01:23:08.840 --> 01:23:10.478 and I think we should start over. 2130 01:23:12.120 --> 01:23:13.189 So this is for you. 2131 01:23:17.320 --> 01:23:18.320 What is it? 2132 01:23:18.400 --> 01:23:19.600 It's a little stocking stuffer. 2133 01:23:19.680 --> 01:23:20.749 I think you'll like it. 2134 01:23:22.480 --> 01:23:24.152 A phone? Press the button. 2135 01:23:26.320 --> 01:23:28.914 This is from my bank in Grand Rapids. 2136 01:23:29.080 --> 01:23:30.195 Merry Christmas. 2137 01:23:30.320 --> 01:23:31.416 Someone fill me in here. 2138 01:23:31.440 --> 01:23:32.440 Well, Steph... 2139 01:23:32.560 --> 01:23:35.074 I bought your father's company. 2140 01:23:35.760 --> 01:23:36.795 Sort of. 2141 01:23:36.960 --> 01:23:40.714 Ned, I purchased all your debt as a Christmas present. 2142 01:23:40.880 --> 01:23:42.199 What the fuck? 2143 01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:44.517 You son of a bitch. What? 2144 01:23:44.680 --> 01:23:46.920 Dude, I'm trying to be nice, so you can avoid bankruptcy. 2145 01:23:47.440 --> 01:23:48.759 Are you guys talking Chapter 11? 2146 01:23:48.840 --> 01:23:50.160 I don't even wanna hear that term. 2147 01:23:50.240 --> 01:23:52.959 Okay, gentlemen, I need Jingle Bells, and step on it! 2148 01:23:53.120 --> 01:23:56.317 I can't believe that you didn't tell us about this. 2149 01:23:56.480 --> 01:23:58.550 What? No, it's just... 2150 01:23:58.760 --> 01:24:01.228 The business has been running a little rough lately. 2151 01:24:01.400 --> 01:24:03.096 I'm already working on a new deal right now. 2152 01:24:03.120 --> 01:24:05.031 So you had no idea? No. 2153 01:24:05.200 --> 01:24:06.640 How the hell did you know about this? 2154 01:24:06.920 --> 01:24:08.797 It was Justine. Oh. 2155 01:24:08.880 --> 01:24:10.074 Yeah, it was me. 2156 01:24:10.240 --> 01:24:12.976 She played me back a little bit of a conversation you had the other day... 2157 01:24:13.000 --> 01:24:14.000 with a guy named Lou. 2158 01:24:14.600 --> 01:24:16.636 Of course, I had to help. 2159 01:24:16.800 --> 01:24:18.376 Ned, I'm sorry if I overstepped. 2160 01:24:18.400 --> 01:24:19.400 Yep. 2161 01:24:19.480 --> 01:24:21.516 But I was really, really worried about you. 2162 01:24:21.680 --> 01:24:23.272 She was. No clowning. 2163 01:24:23.440 --> 01:24:24.953 And just so you don't stress, 2164 01:24:25.160 --> 01:24:27.469 you're still gonna be the Big Cheese, dude. 2165 01:24:27.640 --> 01:24:29.551 I plan on being a very hands-off owner. 2166 01:24:30.640 --> 01:24:33.108 So what do you say, partner? 2167 01:24:35.680 --> 01:24:37.320 - Ned, what are you... - What the fuck? 2168 01:24:37.480 --> 01:24:39.357 Why would you do that, Dad? 2169 01:24:39.440 --> 01:24:40.440 Dad! 2170 01:24:40.520 --> 01:24:41.919 Fuck you, paper man! 2171 01:24:43.640 --> 01:24:44.959 Oh, scheisse. 2172 01:24:45.120 --> 01:24:46.120 Ned, I'm sorry, bro. 2173 01:24:46.280 --> 01:24:47.872 Are you okay? Oh, man. 2174 01:24:48.040 --> 01:24:49.314 My training, it just takes over. 2175 01:24:49.520 --> 01:24:51.715 Everybody is feeling a lot of tension. 2176 01:24:51.880 --> 01:24:52.949 Calm down. Dad! 2177 01:24:53.960 --> 01:24:56.394 Or we can hit people square in the face with an iPad. 2178 01:24:58.400 --> 01:25:00.072 Disengage. Disengage and run! 2179 01:25:03.680 --> 01:25:05.336 Dude, that was kind of cool. You gotta be honest. 2180 01:25:05.360 --> 01:25:07.237 Ned, I love you. I was just trying to help. 2181 01:25:08.800 --> 01:25:09.800 Ooh! 2182 01:25:11.560 --> 01:25:12.560 Laird, disengage him! 2183 01:25:12.640 --> 01:25:14.153 Ned, let go of his balls! 2184 01:25:17.640 --> 01:25:19.358 Laird! Evasive parkour! 2185 01:25:19.520 --> 01:25:20.589 Laird, get away! 2186 01:25:20.800 --> 01:25:22.711 Evasive parkour! Do the wall pop! 2187 01:25:23.560 --> 01:25:24.560 Wall pop! 2188 01:25:28.120 --> 01:25:29.758 Goose! Did you see that? 2189 01:25:29.920 --> 01:25:32.639 That's right! Because you finally engaged your core! 2190 01:25:32.800 --> 01:25:33.800 Get down here! 2191 01:25:33.880 --> 01:25:36.696 You see the difference of the feeling? How it feels differently? 2192 01:25:36.720 --> 01:25:37.755 I know! 2193 01:25:38.720 --> 01:25:39.835 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 2194 01:25:40.440 --> 01:25:41.736 Don't breathe in. I'll save you, brother! 2195 01:25:41.760 --> 01:25:42.840 Scotty, no! Scotty! 2196 01:25:42.880 --> 01:25:43.880 No, honey! 2197 01:25:44.800 --> 01:25:45.920 I'm here to save you, Laird! 2198 01:25:50.600 --> 01:25:51.669 Scotty, watch out! 2199 01:26:00.080 --> 01:26:01.877 Laird! You okay? 2200 01:26:03.040 --> 01:26:04.040 Yeah! 2201 01:26:04.200 --> 01:26:05.474 Fantastic! You're okay. 2202 01:26:06.040 --> 01:26:07.678 You're okay. Wait. Where's Scotty? 2203 01:26:07.840 --> 01:26:09.114 Scotty! Oh, my God. 2204 01:26:09.480 --> 01:26:11.357 Scotty! He's under the moose! 2205 01:26:11.560 --> 01:26:12.976 He's under the moose! 2206 01:26:13.000 --> 01:26:14.149 Scotty! 2207 01:26:16.240 --> 01:26:17.240 Oh, shit. 2208 01:26:17.440 --> 01:26:19.670 These fucking moose balls are in my mouth. 2209 01:26:19.840 --> 01:26:21.876 Oh, shit, he's teabagging you, bro! 2210 01:26:22.040 --> 01:26:23.359 I got you. 2211 01:26:28.880 --> 01:26:31.189 Come here. Come here. 2212 01:26:31.360 --> 01:26:33.032 Oh, my God. It's okay. 2213 01:26:33.200 --> 01:26:34.200 It's okay. 2214 01:26:37.680 --> 01:26:39.989 Honey, I'm so sorry it turned out this way. 2215 01:26:40.160 --> 01:26:41.160 Me, too. 2216 01:26:41.840 --> 01:26:43.000 I'll call you when I get home. 2217 01:26:43.120 --> 01:26:45.111 Okay. Good luck with Scotty. 2218 01:26:45.880 --> 01:26:47.359 Thank you. I'll need it. Yeah. 2219 01:26:49.440 --> 01:26:52.079 Steph, listen. I never... 2220 01:26:52.240 --> 01:26:54.435 I'm done listening. Have a safe flight. 2221 01:26:57.880 --> 01:26:59.632 See you, sis. Bye, Scotty. 2222 01:27:01.560 --> 01:27:03.949 Can't believe I have to go back to toilet paper. 2223 01:27:10.680 --> 01:27:13.433 Hey, Don Millis. Merry Christmas, sir. 2224 01:27:13.520 --> 01:27:15.400 You too, Ned. Look, I hate to call on Christmas. 2225 01:27:15.520 --> 01:27:17.238 Oh, don't worry about that. 2226 01:27:17.400 --> 01:27:19.152 It was great catching up yesterday 2227 01:27:19.320 --> 01:27:21.480 and I wanted to ring you as soon as we made a decision. 2228 01:27:21.560 --> 01:27:22.560 Okay. 2229 01:27:22.640 --> 01:27:24.520 I talked with the group here about your proposal 2230 01:27:24.600 --> 01:27:26.192 and we just can't go for it. 2231 01:27:26.360 --> 01:27:27.634 I'm sorry, pal. 2232 01:27:27.840 --> 01:27:30.513 We really appreciate you offering us such a sweetheart deal. 2233 01:27:30.720 --> 01:27:33.296 But fact is we 're just not doing a whole lot of printing these days. 2234 01:27:33.320 --> 01:27:34.469 You know how it is. Yes. 2235 01:27:34.680 --> 01:27:35.776 It's a whole new world, right? 2236 01:27:35.800 --> 01:27:36.800 Yes. 2237 01:27:37.720 --> 01:27:38.755 Sure is. 2238 01:27:38.920 --> 01:27:40.720 I sure wish we could've done business, Cheese. 2239 01:27:40.760 --> 01:27:42.159 All right, listen, um, 2240 01:27:42.360 --> 01:27:44.715 if you're sure I can't change your mind there, Don. 2241 01:27:44.880 --> 01:27:46.108 Yeah, unfortunately not. 2242 01:27:46.320 --> 01:27:47.992 Okay. All right. 2243 01:27:49.120 --> 01:27:51.236 You have a happy holidays. You, too, Ned! 2244 01:27:51.400 --> 01:27:52.799 Best to Barb and the kids. 2245 01:27:55.840 --> 01:27:57.239 Excuse me, Ned? 2246 01:27:57.400 --> 01:28:00.358 I'm sorry to bother you, but your flight leaves in an hour. 2247 01:28:03.240 --> 01:28:06.676 Must seem strange to you, my friend 2248 01:28:06.840 --> 01:28:08.239 I'll miss you. 2249 01:28:08.320 --> 01:28:11.630 Some things are always heaven sent 2250 01:28:12.560 --> 01:28:16.189 The more you want, the harder it gets 2251 01:28:16.640 --> 01:28:20.872 The more you let go, the more you get 2252 01:28:20.960 --> 01:28:22.439 It's a crazy... 2253 01:28:28.280 --> 01:28:30.032 ...beautiful life 2254 01:28:30.800 --> 01:28:34.793 Some things make sense and you don't know what 2255 01:28:34.920 --> 01:28:39.391 It's a crazy beautiful life 2256 01:28:46.400 --> 01:28:48.311 Welcome home, Flemings! 2257 01:28:48.480 --> 01:28:49.595 Lou, what... 2258 01:28:49.720 --> 01:28:50.789 You guys must be freezing. 2259 01:28:50.960 --> 01:28:53.155 Come on, get in here. Let me get that. Come on, Cheese. 2260 01:28:53.240 --> 01:28:54.600 Lou, what's going on? Barbara, hey. 2261 01:28:54.800 --> 01:28:55.835 Hi. 2262 01:28:55.920 --> 01:28:57.016 - Barb, you look great. - There they are! 2263 01:28:57.040 --> 01:28:59.508 Merry Christmas! 2264 01:29:01.760 --> 01:29:02.909 Wow! 2265 01:29:03.440 --> 01:29:06.830 Um, Lou, I texted you that I needed to talk to you. 2266 01:29:07.000 --> 01:29:08.000 I mean, what's... 2267 01:29:08.160 --> 01:29:10.151 Come on, you hear this guy? 2268 01:29:10.360 --> 01:29:11.759 Hank Rouse from First National 2269 01:29:11.920 --> 01:29:14.309 shot me a congratulatory voicemail this morning 2270 01:29:14.440 --> 01:29:15.839 about the Mayhew deal. 2271 01:29:16.000 --> 01:29:17.000 You did it, Big Cheese! 2272 01:29:18.600 --> 01:29:20.040 You pulled off the Christmas miracle. 2273 01:29:22.040 --> 01:29:24.156 Cheese, Cheese, Cheese! Cheese, Cheese, Cheese! 2274 01:29:24.320 --> 01:29:25.435 Barb! 2275 01:29:26.440 --> 01:29:27.440 Scotty. 2276 01:29:27.600 --> 01:29:30.319 Ned, as a little token of our appreciation, 2277 01:29:30.480 --> 01:29:32.948 we all chipped in and bought you something 2278 01:29:33.120 --> 01:29:35.759 that we're pretty sure you don't own. 2279 01:29:38.200 --> 01:29:39.872 You shouldn't have. 2280 01:29:40.040 --> 01:29:41.553 Open it. Yeah. 2281 01:29:42.280 --> 01:29:43.280 Yeah, right there. 2282 01:29:44.720 --> 01:29:46.790 It's an iPad. 2283 01:29:47.960 --> 01:29:49.313 Hit the home button right there. 2284 01:29:49.480 --> 01:29:50.480 Yeah. 2285 01:29:51.840 --> 01:29:53.856 We had a little fun with that down in Graphics. 2286 01:29:53.880 --> 01:29:56.030 I got the images off Scotty's Facebook page. 2287 01:29:58.000 --> 01:29:59.718 He looks like a stand-up guy. 2288 01:29:59.800 --> 01:30:01.552 Like a younger version of you, Ned. 2289 01:30:02.320 --> 01:30:03.355 Make a speech! 2290 01:30:03.480 --> 01:30:04.799 Speech! Oh, yes, speech! 2291 01:30:05.000 --> 01:30:06.319 Speech, speech, speech. 2292 01:30:11.880 --> 01:30:13.074 The heck is that? 2293 01:30:17.240 --> 01:30:19.515 Laird, a jet and a helicopter? Where are we? 2294 01:30:19.720 --> 01:30:21.199 Hang on, babe. Almost there. 2295 01:30:32.880 --> 01:30:34.359 One second. Mayhew! 2296 01:30:34.520 --> 01:30:35.536 Guys, stay here for a minute. 2297 01:30:35.560 --> 01:30:36.696 Honey, go inside and get a jacket. 2298 01:30:36.720 --> 01:30:37.896 That's Mayhew. Is that the guy? 2299 01:30:37.920 --> 01:30:38.920 Laird! 2300 01:30:39.000 --> 01:30:40.194 Where are we? 2301 01:30:40.360 --> 01:30:41.360 That looks weird. 2302 01:30:41.440 --> 01:30:42.920 It's kind of Fifty Shades of Grey-ish. 2303 01:30:43.120 --> 01:30:44.712 Cold? Yeah. 2304 01:30:47.040 --> 01:30:49.508 And here we go. 2305 01:30:51.400 --> 01:30:52.594 Surprise! 2306 01:30:53.560 --> 01:30:54.675 Hi, honey. 2307 01:30:56.080 --> 01:30:57.195 Ta-da. 2308 01:30:59.720 --> 01:31:01.278 You brought me home? Yeah. 2309 01:31:01.440 --> 01:31:03.078 Without telling me? 2310 01:31:03.240 --> 01:31:06.550 I realize I violated the sanctity of mystery date 2311 01:31:06.720 --> 01:31:09.598 but I just thought the family should all be together today. 2312 01:31:09.760 --> 01:31:11.520 Okay, that wasn't your place to do that, hon. 2313 01:31:11.640 --> 01:31:13.471 Steph, I know, 2314 01:31:13.640 --> 01:31:15.039 but it is Christmas. 2315 01:31:15.240 --> 01:31:16.275 And we're glad to see you. 2316 01:31:16.440 --> 01:31:17.509 This isn't what she wanted. 2317 01:31:17.600 --> 01:31:18.669 No, it's not. 2318 01:31:18.760 --> 01:31:20.318 What I wanted was for us to spend 2319 01:31:20.400 --> 01:31:21.799 Christmas in California together 2320 01:31:21.960 --> 01:31:24.394 like I planned, before everything went to shit 2321 01:31:24.560 --> 01:31:26.312 because you made it all about yourself. 2322 01:31:27.320 --> 01:31:28.469 Mm-hmm. 2323 01:31:29.160 --> 01:31:30.388 You both did. 2324 01:31:30.560 --> 01:31:31.754 I did? Yes! 2325 01:31:31.960 --> 01:31:34.918 You idiots think you can pass me back and forth 2326 01:31:35.080 --> 01:31:36.911 like I'm your property or something? 2327 01:31:37.000 --> 01:31:38.000 I'm done. 2328 01:31:38.080 --> 01:31:39.559 This is the worst Christmas ever. 2329 01:31:39.760 --> 01:31:41.432 Steph. Steph. Honey. 2330 01:31:46.400 --> 01:31:47.594 I think she's pissed. 2331 01:31:50.520 --> 01:31:52.351 Yeah, she's pissed. 2332 01:31:52.480 --> 01:31:53.480 Shit! 2333 01:31:53.760 --> 01:31:57.753 I just thought that you guys should be together today. 2334 01:31:59.000 --> 01:32:01.355 All right. Well, I'll leave you to it. 2335 01:32:02.280 --> 01:32:03.633 Happy holidays, Ned. 2336 01:32:03.800 --> 01:32:05.119 You too, Laird. 2337 01:32:12.280 --> 01:32:13.759 Uh, Laird. 2338 01:32:13.960 --> 01:32:15.951 You're doing a "I'm gonna walk away slowly 2339 01:32:16.040 --> 01:32:17.640 "'cause I really don't wanna leave" walk. 2340 01:32:19.840 --> 01:32:21.193 Maybe. 2341 01:32:21.640 --> 01:32:22.640 Come here. 2342 01:32:23.800 --> 01:32:24.949 Come here. 2343 01:32:25.120 --> 01:32:26.997 So what happened? You didn't propose? 2344 01:32:27.160 --> 01:32:28.275 How could I? 2345 01:32:28.480 --> 01:32:29.520 I never got your permission 2346 01:32:29.640 --> 01:32:31.471 and we pinky-swore I wouldn't ask without it. 2347 01:32:33.720 --> 01:32:35.358 You are remarkable. 2348 01:32:36.520 --> 01:32:39.876 You don't have a gear to be dishonest, do you? 2349 01:32:40.640 --> 01:32:42.039 Guess not, dude. 2350 01:32:44.960 --> 01:32:46.712 Laird, you never needed my permission 2351 01:32:46.800 --> 01:32:48.199 to ask Stephanie to marry you. 2352 01:32:49.880 --> 01:32:52.030 But if it still means anything to you, 2353 01:32:53.480 --> 01:32:54.549 you have my blessing. 2354 01:32:57.320 --> 01:32:58.355 For reals? 2355 01:32:58.920 --> 01:32:59.920 No clowning. 2356 01:33:01.520 --> 01:33:02.520 Whoa. 2357 01:33:04.320 --> 01:33:06.709 But, Laird, Stephanie's right. 2358 01:33:06.880 --> 01:33:09.155 It's up to her. It's always been up to her. 2359 01:33:09.240 --> 01:33:10.309 Not us. 2360 01:33:11.680 --> 01:33:14.240 It just took me a while to realize that. 2361 01:33:15.680 --> 01:33:16.715 It's so true. 2362 01:33:17.680 --> 01:33:19.159 Dude, we were such jerks. 2363 01:33:19.360 --> 01:33:20.509 Yeah. 2364 01:33:20.680 --> 01:33:21.874 I bit your dick. 2365 01:33:23.000 --> 01:33:24.672 Shaft and balls. Oh. 2366 01:33:26.440 --> 01:33:27.668 I'm sorry. 2367 01:33:28.360 --> 01:33:29.918 I'm sorry, too, dude. 2368 01:33:30.120 --> 01:33:33.192 Look, Laird, if you wanna ask Stephanie to marry you 2369 01:33:33.360 --> 01:33:35.396 when the time is right, just do it. 2370 01:33:36.960 --> 01:33:39.030 Okay. Is it cool if I do it right now? 2371 01:33:39.200 --> 01:33:41.430 Because, uh, just in case it worked out 2372 01:33:41.600 --> 01:33:44.717 I had Goose put a shit ton of doves in the helicopter 2373 01:33:44.880 --> 01:33:46.280 and I have a couple other surprises. 2374 01:33:46.440 --> 01:33:48.874 Laird, this is totally your call. 2375 01:33:49.040 --> 01:33:51.031 But can I give you some advice? 2376 01:33:51.560 --> 01:33:52.629 Dude, please. 2377 01:33:52.720 --> 01:33:53.776 I'm so fucking nervous right now. 2378 01:33:53.800 --> 01:33:54.835 All right, look... 2379 01:33:54.920 --> 01:33:58.196 Stephanie doesn't care about all the bells and whistles. 2380 01:33:58.400 --> 01:33:59.958 You know her. 2381 01:34:00.120 --> 01:34:01.553 She cares about you. 2382 01:34:01.720 --> 01:34:03.073 She loves you. 2383 01:34:04.560 --> 01:34:06.437 So you get down on one knee 2384 01:34:07.320 --> 01:34:09.709 and you speak to her from your heart. 2385 01:34:10.600 --> 01:34:12.238 That's what you're best at. 2386 01:34:14.160 --> 01:34:16.390 Isn't that right, Justine? 2387 01:34:17.000 --> 01:34:18.399 Totally agree. 2388 01:34:18.960 --> 01:34:19.960 Holy shit. 2389 01:34:20.560 --> 01:34:23.233 My first time in Michigan. It's cold as balls here. 2390 01:34:24.400 --> 01:34:25.400 Yeah. 2391 01:34:25.440 --> 01:34:27.795 Dude, that's fucking great! 2392 01:34:28.600 --> 01:34:29.749 Do it Ned Fleming style. 2393 01:34:29.920 --> 01:34:31.478 Old school! 2394 01:34:31.680 --> 01:34:32.749 Fuck yes. 2395 01:34:35.080 --> 01:34:36.638 Okay. Well, look... 2396 01:34:36.800 --> 01:34:38.816 I'll go in there and see if I can get her to come out. 2397 01:34:38.840 --> 01:34:39.840 Okay. 2398 01:34:39.960 --> 01:34:41.632 Good luck. Thanks. 2399 01:34:45.120 --> 01:34:47.156 Hey, promise me one thing. 2400 01:34:48.280 --> 01:34:49.952 You will treat her well. 2401 01:34:51.520 --> 01:34:54.478 Dude, I'm gonna treat her like a motherfucking queen. 2402 01:34:56.320 --> 01:34:57.514 I'll take that. 2403 01:34:57.680 --> 01:34:58.680 Okay. 2404 01:35:00.640 --> 01:35:02.790 Gustav, change of plans. 2405 01:35:02.960 --> 01:35:05.554 We're go on the proposal. No go on all that other shit. 2406 01:35:05.640 --> 01:35:06.640 I have only one bar. 2407 01:35:06.800 --> 01:35:08.199 You're saying we are a go, yes? 2408 01:35:08.360 --> 01:35:09.952 No. No go. 2409 01:35:10.120 --> 01:35:12.111 Go on the proposal, no go on the shit. 2410 01:35:12.280 --> 01:35:14.191 Laird, are you saying it's a no go 2411 01:35:14.360 --> 01:35:16.476 or are you saying, "No. Go."? 2412 01:35:16.560 --> 01:35:17.629 God damn it, Goose. 2413 01:35:17.880 --> 01:35:19.656 You're making me fucking nervous. Just shut up. 2414 01:35:19.680 --> 01:35:21.272 Oh, I'm sorry. Good luck. 2415 01:35:21.480 --> 01:35:23.789 Oh, and by the way, please, Laird, breathe. 2416 01:35:26.720 --> 01:35:27.755 Okay. 2417 01:35:27.840 --> 01:35:29.831 And no cursing, okay? 2418 01:35:30.000 --> 01:35:31.513 Fuck, you're right. Good call. 2419 01:35:33.640 --> 01:35:34.755 Hi. 2420 01:35:37.800 --> 01:35:39.153 I'm sorry. 2421 01:35:39.800 --> 01:35:43.315 I know that out in California I disappointed you 2422 01:35:43.480 --> 01:35:45.357 and that kills me. 2423 01:35:45.520 --> 01:35:47.158 And I'm really sorry. 2424 01:35:50.680 --> 01:35:51.680 I'm sorry, too. 2425 01:35:53.720 --> 01:35:54.976 I threw you in the deep end out there. 2426 01:35:55.000 --> 01:35:56.400 I should've never asked you to come. 2427 01:35:56.520 --> 01:35:57.520 Honestly. No. 2428 01:35:57.680 --> 01:35:59.079 No, you didn't do anything wrong. 2429 01:35:59.240 --> 01:36:00.389 What was I thinking? 2430 01:36:00.560 --> 01:36:01.675 It was me. 2431 01:36:02.680 --> 01:36:05.069 It's just that, when we got out to Laird's... 2432 01:36:06.600 --> 01:36:09.398 I just didn't feel like I knew you anymore 2433 01:36:10.360 --> 01:36:12.032 and I got scared. 2434 01:36:13.880 --> 01:36:15.518 I just went crazy. 2435 01:36:18.240 --> 01:36:19.514 This is me. 2436 01:36:22.040 --> 01:36:23.393 I'm doing good. 2437 01:36:25.080 --> 01:36:26.399 Oh, Dad. 2438 01:36:32.640 --> 01:36:33.640 Oh, my God. 2439 01:36:33.800 --> 01:36:35.199 Okay, look. I forgot... 2440 01:36:35.360 --> 01:36:36.416 Oh, God. He's still out there. 2441 01:36:36.440 --> 01:36:37.509 I know. 2442 01:36:37.600 --> 01:36:38.856 In a tank top and a scarf. 2443 01:36:38.880 --> 01:36:40.096 And he knew we were coming to Michigan. 2444 01:36:40.120 --> 01:36:41.120 Yeah. 2445 01:36:41.280 --> 01:36:42.520 Why doesn't he just come inside? 2446 01:36:42.560 --> 01:36:43.896 He has to talk to you about something... 2447 01:36:43.920 --> 01:36:46.434 He kind of wants to make things right with you. 2448 01:36:46.600 --> 01:36:48.033 Oh, does he? Yeah. 2449 01:36:48.200 --> 01:36:51.272 I think it'd be cool if you gave him a chance. 2450 01:36:53.240 --> 01:36:55.549 You want me to give Laird a chance? 2451 01:36:55.720 --> 01:36:59.474 I thought that if you saw fit to give him a chance... 2452 01:36:59.640 --> 01:37:02.279 I thought that it'd be cool. 2453 01:37:04.720 --> 01:37:05.720 That's all. Well? 2454 01:37:05.840 --> 01:37:07.432 Hi. Hey. 2455 01:37:07.600 --> 01:37:09.556 What's going on? Oh, my God, it's cold out here. 2456 01:37:09.760 --> 01:37:11.910 I know you're pissed, but just hear me out. 2457 01:37:12.080 --> 01:37:13.479 Can we talk inside? No. 2458 01:37:13.640 --> 01:37:14.640 Oh, my... Look. 2459 01:37:14.760 --> 01:37:17.399 Oh, my God. It's so romantic. 2460 01:37:17.600 --> 01:37:18.794 I told him to keep it simple. 2461 01:37:18.960 --> 01:37:20.154 Oh, our little girl. 2462 01:37:20.320 --> 01:37:22.456 He's gonna get down to his knee and keep it real simple. 2463 01:37:22.480 --> 01:37:23.754 How do you know all this? 2464 01:37:23.920 --> 01:37:25.069 I gave him a few pointers. 2465 01:37:25.240 --> 01:37:26.468 Oh. 2466 01:37:27.640 --> 01:37:29.471 This has been the happiest year of my life. 2467 01:37:31.440 --> 01:37:34.591 And fly! Go, go, go! Go! 2468 01:37:36.440 --> 01:37:38.271 Oh, no. What? 2469 01:37:40.600 --> 01:37:41.600 Ah. 2470 01:37:42.960 --> 01:37:44.951 Oh, my God. 2471 01:37:45.120 --> 01:37:47.156 Goose. God damn it. I said no go! No go! 2472 01:37:47.320 --> 01:37:48.355 Oh, my... 2473 01:37:48.440 --> 01:37:49.475 Oh, gosh. Wow. 2474 01:37:49.600 --> 01:37:50.656 Why did he do that? Smart boy. 2475 01:37:50.680 --> 01:37:52.716 Absolute fucking shit fest. 2476 01:37:53.720 --> 01:37:55.438 Babe, I'm so sorry. Uh... 2477 01:37:58.680 --> 01:38:00.159 Stephanie Fleming... 2478 01:38:00.680 --> 01:38:02.033 will you... Are you proposing? 2479 01:38:02.200 --> 01:38:03.997 Yeah. 2480 01:38:04.120 --> 01:38:05.838 Mmm-hmm. 2481 01:38:05.960 --> 01:38:07.279 Did my dad know about this? 2482 01:38:07.840 --> 01:38:09.592 Yeah, I asked for his blessing 2483 01:38:09.680 --> 01:38:11.113 that first morning back in Cali. 2484 01:38:11.320 --> 01:38:13.356 Oh, my God. 2485 01:38:13.680 --> 01:38:14.795 Oh, my God! 2486 01:38:14.960 --> 01:38:17.474 No wonder he acted so crazy. Honey. 2487 01:38:17.640 --> 01:38:19.551 Yeah, that's why he was a little out of whack. 2488 01:38:19.720 --> 01:38:21.790 Yeah, we could have had a really nice holiday. 2489 01:38:22.000 --> 01:38:24.673 I know. But we're all good now. Okay? 2490 01:38:24.840 --> 01:38:26.990 This is a lot. 2491 01:38:28.320 --> 01:38:29.878 Oh, my God. Stephanie Fleming... 2492 01:38:30.040 --> 01:38:31.440 That's a ring. 2493 01:38:32.560 --> 01:38:34.357 Goose! No! 2494 01:38:39.000 --> 01:38:40.991 And, go! Go, guys! Go, go, go! 2495 01:38:41.880 --> 01:38:43.154 Stephanie! 2496 01:38:44.560 --> 01:38:45.560 Oh, my God. 2497 01:38:57.520 --> 01:39:00.830 Laird, what is Kiss doing here? 2498 01:39:01.680 --> 01:39:02.829 Um, well... 2499 01:39:05.040 --> 01:39:06.075 Is that... Whoa! 2500 01:39:06.200 --> 01:39:07.394 He got look-a-likes! 2501 01:39:07.560 --> 01:39:09.516 Those aren't look-a-likes, Ned. 2502 01:39:09.600 --> 01:39:10.874 That's Gene and Paul. 2503 01:39:11.040 --> 01:39:14.032 It's Gene and Paul! Gene and Paul! 2504 01:39:14.200 --> 01:39:16.236 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 2505 01:39:16.400 --> 01:39:17.799 Kiss is in the front yard! 2506 01:39:17.960 --> 01:39:20.428 Tonight 2507 01:39:20.640 --> 01:39:23.029 I wanna give it all to you 2508 01:39:24.920 --> 01:39:25.920 In the darkness 2509 01:39:26.080 --> 01:39:28.753 Originally, I had this more elaborate proposal plan 2510 01:39:28.920 --> 01:39:30.592 but your dad gave me this awesome advice 2511 01:39:30.720 --> 01:39:31.869 and told me not to do it. 2512 01:39:32.040 --> 01:39:33.439 But they're here, 2513 01:39:33.560 --> 01:39:35.437 and I know how much you love their music, so... 2514 01:39:35.600 --> 01:39:36.874 What? Hi. 2515 01:39:37.040 --> 01:39:40.794 I was made for lovin' you, baby 2516 01:39:40.960 --> 01:39:44.714 You were made for lovin' me 2517 01:39:44.880 --> 01:39:46.711 And I can't get... 2518 01:39:50.240 --> 01:39:52.117 Is he still proposing? What's... 2519 01:39:52.280 --> 01:39:53.713 They've stopped playing now. 2520 01:39:53.920 --> 01:39:55.831 - His name's Ned. - Oh, my God, are they... 2521 01:39:55.960 --> 01:39:56.960 What? 2522 01:39:57.080 --> 01:39:58.096 Are they coming in the... Oh, my God. 2523 01:39:58.120 --> 01:39:59.216 They're coming up the sidewalk! 2524 01:39:59.240 --> 01:40:00.240 They're heading in! 2525 01:40:00.320 --> 01:40:01.880 They're coming in our house! Oh, my God! 2526 01:40:01.920 --> 01:40:03.831 Everybody act natural! Act naturally! 2527 01:40:04.000 --> 01:40:05.228 I have to redecorate the house! 2528 01:40:16.680 --> 01:40:17.749 Hey. 2529 01:40:17.920 --> 01:40:18.920 Hi. 2530 01:40:19.080 --> 01:40:20.115 Hi. 2531 01:40:22.280 --> 01:40:23.429 Uh, hi. 2532 01:40:24.600 --> 01:40:26.113 - I'm Ned. - Hey, Ned. 2533 01:40:26.280 --> 01:40:27.429 Hi! Hi! 2534 01:40:27.600 --> 01:40:29.192 This is my wife, Barb. 2535 01:40:29.360 --> 01:40:30.759 This is our friends, Lou and Patty. 2536 01:40:30.840 --> 01:40:31.989 It's Lou. 2537 01:40:32.160 --> 01:40:33.593 So excited you're here. 2538 01:40:33.760 --> 01:40:37.036 I gotta tell you. Uh, we are huge fans. 2539 01:40:37.200 --> 01:40:40.875 We've been members of the Kiss Army for, like, 30 years now. 2540 01:40:41.040 --> 01:40:43.679 Yeah. Our first date was the Crazy Nights Tour. 2541 01:40:43.840 --> 01:40:46.274 Yeah! And, boy, was that crazy. 2542 01:40:46.360 --> 01:40:47.429 Crazy. 2543 01:40:48.160 --> 01:40:49.160 Did you get laid? 2544 01:40:52.480 --> 01:40:53.480 Um... 2545 01:40:54.640 --> 01:40:56.312 I gave him a handjob. 2546 01:40:57.360 --> 01:40:58.873 Scotty. 2547 01:40:59.320 --> 01:41:00.992 I'm having an awesome time, 2548 01:41:01.120 --> 01:41:02.473 but are you having a buffet here? 2549 01:41:02.640 --> 01:41:04.198 Oh, my God. What was I thinking? 2550 01:41:04.360 --> 01:41:05.793 Are you hungry? Starving. 2551 01:41:05.960 --> 01:41:07.712 Oh, God, of course! Where's our manners? 2552 01:41:07.800 --> 01:41:08.835 We're terrible hosts. 2553 01:41:09.000 --> 01:41:10.136 Let's get those guitars, guys. 2554 01:41:10.160 --> 01:41:11.354 Come on, let me get that axe. 2555 01:41:12.640 --> 01:41:13.709 See my body? 2556 01:41:13.800 --> 01:41:14.800 Wow! Kiss is in our house! 2557 01:41:14.880 --> 01:41:18.031 Yeah. I'm kind of juiced up a little bit. 2558 01:41:18.480 --> 01:41:20.357 Oh! I almost forgot about them. 2559 01:41:20.520 --> 01:41:22.351 Well... The happy couple. 2560 01:41:22.520 --> 01:41:23.999 Congratulations. 2561 01:41:24.520 --> 01:41:25.839 She said no. 2562 01:41:26.720 --> 01:41:27.720 I'm sorry, what? 2563 01:41:27.880 --> 01:41:29.154 She said no. 2564 01:41:31.040 --> 01:41:32.040 Well... 2565 01:41:33.720 --> 01:41:34.869 Honey. 2566 01:41:35.520 --> 01:41:37.158 I'm so flattered 2567 01:41:37.360 --> 01:41:39.351 that you wanna marry me 2568 01:41:39.840 --> 01:41:40.880 but I'm not ready for that. 2569 01:41:44.400 --> 01:41:45.719 And I'm gonna finish school. 2570 01:41:45.880 --> 01:41:47.199 For me. 2571 01:41:47.360 --> 01:41:48.839 Because that's what I wanna do. 2572 01:41:49.040 --> 01:41:50.519 Got it? 2573 01:41:50.680 --> 01:41:52.352 That's really smart. 2574 01:41:52.520 --> 01:41:55.273 It's just, I had this big plan 2575 01:41:56.400 --> 01:41:57.674 and it didn't work out. 2576 01:41:58.520 --> 01:42:00.590 Yeah. Well, that's life, pal. 2577 01:42:02.560 --> 01:42:05.233 That is so well put, Ned. 2578 01:42:06.040 --> 01:42:07.712 It's really, really smart. 2579 01:42:07.880 --> 01:42:09.552 Dude, did you come up with that? 2580 01:42:09.720 --> 01:42:11.358 The words, "That's life?" 2581 01:42:11.560 --> 01:42:14.199 Ned, you're so full of practical wisdom... 2582 01:42:15.040 --> 01:42:16.176 I was just really looking forward 2583 01:42:16.200 --> 01:42:17.428 to you being my father-in-law. 2584 01:42:17.640 --> 01:42:18.640 Aw. 2585 01:42:19.720 --> 01:42:21.631 I'm not breaking up with you. 2586 01:42:21.800 --> 01:42:22.800 You're not? 2587 01:42:22.920 --> 01:42:23.920 No, honey. 2588 01:42:24.080 --> 01:42:25.560 No, no, no. I'm still your girlfriend. 2589 01:42:25.640 --> 01:42:27.358 We're still together. 2590 01:42:27.440 --> 01:42:28.440 Oh. 2591 01:42:29.800 --> 01:42:31.074 Oh, thank God! 2592 01:42:31.240 --> 01:42:32.275 Come here. 2593 01:42:43.240 --> 01:42:44.389 Merry Christmas. 2594 01:42:44.560 --> 01:42:45.560 Ned. Hey. 2595 01:42:45.680 --> 01:42:47.238 Dude, your employees are so cool. 2596 01:42:47.400 --> 01:42:48.674 Yeah, they are. 2597 01:42:48.840 --> 01:42:50.990 Maybe it was wrong of me to interfere like that, 2598 01:42:51.160 --> 01:42:52.957 but why don't you let me save your company? 2599 01:42:54.320 --> 01:42:56.072 No, Laird, I can't. 2600 01:42:56.240 --> 01:42:58.231 That old model doesn't work anymore. 2601 01:42:58.440 --> 01:43:00.271 I guess... I don't know. 2602 01:43:00.480 --> 01:43:02.277 I guess I just didn't want to believe it. 2603 01:43:03.120 --> 01:43:04.758 But since you mentioned it... 2604 01:43:04.920 --> 01:43:07.070 I do have a business idea I wanna run by you. 2605 01:43:07.280 --> 01:43:08.793 Dude, elevator pitch me! 2606 01:43:08.960 --> 01:43:10.154 Okay. 2607 01:43:11.520 --> 01:43:12.794 No, hold on. 2608 01:43:12.960 --> 01:43:15.315 This wasn't my idea at all. One second. 2609 01:43:15.480 --> 01:43:17.232 - Scotty, come here. - Yo, what's up? 2610 01:43:17.320 --> 01:43:18.320 Come here. Yeah? 2611 01:43:18.440 --> 01:43:19.936 I want you to tell Laird about the business idea 2612 01:43:19.960 --> 01:43:21.359 you mentioned on the plane. 2613 01:43:21.520 --> 01:43:22.520 Go ahead. Wait, really? 2614 01:43:22.600 --> 01:43:23.600 Yeah. 2615 01:43:23.680 --> 01:43:25.400 Told you to get that seat at the table, bro. 2616 01:43:25.440 --> 01:43:27.040 You did. He told me, Dad. He was, like... 2617 01:43:27.160 --> 01:43:28.256 "You're gonna get that seat." 2618 01:43:28.280 --> 01:43:29.696 I can't believe I finally got the seat. 2619 01:43:29.720 --> 01:43:30.948 Dragons and titties, baby. 2620 01:43:31.120 --> 01:43:32.951 Dragons and titties! 2621 01:43:33.200 --> 01:43:34.600 Breathe that fire. 2622 01:43:34.720 --> 01:43:35.720 Get up in there. 2623 01:43:36.800 --> 01:43:38.518 Get up in those titties! 2624 01:43:38.680 --> 01:43:40.000 Gonna get those dragons. 2625 01:43:40.800 --> 01:43:41.949 Dad... 2626 01:43:42.480 --> 01:43:43.799 Scotty! 2627 01:43:43.960 --> 01:43:46.520 Stop motorboating your dad, and elevator pitch me. 2628 01:43:46.640 --> 01:43:48.119 Sorry. Uh... 2629 01:43:48.480 --> 01:43:51.313 Laird, I can't stop thinking about your toilets, dude. 2630 01:43:51.480 --> 01:43:53.152 My toilets? Yeah. 2631 01:43:53.320 --> 01:43:54.958 The fresh feeling, the scented talc. 2632 01:43:55.160 --> 01:43:57.310 I was thinking if you can get the controls in English 2633 01:43:57.480 --> 01:43:59.240 and maybe lower the price point a little bit, 2634 01:43:59.320 --> 01:44:00.456 we could have a potentially untapped 2635 01:44:00.480 --> 01:44:01.480 market here in America. 2636 01:44:01.520 --> 01:44:03.158 Oh, shit. Right? 2637 01:44:03.320 --> 01:44:04.976 And look, we can contact a Japanese manufacturer 2638 01:44:05.000 --> 01:44:06.035 about pricing... Ooh. 2639 01:44:06.200 --> 01:44:08.555 No, Scotty. Pardon my French, but fuck that noise. 2640 01:44:09.160 --> 01:44:10.195 Whoa. 2641 01:44:10.320 --> 01:44:13.312 Listen. We have a factory right here in Grand Rapids 2642 01:44:13.480 --> 01:44:15.675 with 37 of the best employees you're ever gonna want. 2643 01:44:15.840 --> 01:44:17.751 Let's build our own. 2644 01:44:18.840 --> 01:44:20.751 Hells yes, Grateful Ned! Yeah! 2645 01:44:20.840 --> 01:44:22.239 Boom! 2646 01:44:24.400 --> 01:44:25.515 Okay, sorry. Yeah. 2647 01:44:30.040 --> 01:44:35.876 The first noel the angels did say 2648 01:44:36.080 --> 01:44:41.393 Was to certain poor shepherds In fields as they lay 2649 01:44:41.560 --> 01:44:47.112 In fields where they lay keeping their sheep 2650 01:44:47.280 --> 01:44:52.798 On a cold winter's night that was so deep 2651 01:44:52.960 --> 01:44:54.518 Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel 2652 01:44:54.720 --> 01:44:57.553 It turned out to be a pretty cool holiday after all, huh? 2653 01:44:58.400 --> 01:44:59.549 It did, son. 2654 01:45:01.480 --> 01:45:02.480 Dude. 2655 01:45:03.040 --> 01:45:04.040 What? 2656 01:45:04.120 --> 01:45:06.000 Told you you'd be calling me "son" by Christmas. 2657 01:45:06.040 --> 01:45:07.837 Oh. 2658 01:45:07.920 --> 01:45:09.717 That's just a figure of speech. 2659 01:45:09.880 --> 01:45:10.915 Sure, Dad. 2660 01:45:17.480 --> 01:45:25.480 Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight 2661 01:45:31.560 --> 01:45:34.233 Hello there, you gang! It is I, Gustav. 2662 01:45:34.400 --> 01:45:36.675 It's so great to see you! 2663 01:45:36.840 --> 01:45:39.400 Hey, what do you think of the new facial hair, huh? 2664 01:45:39.600 --> 01:45:41.397 I'm based in Michigan now, so you know... 2665 01:45:41.600 --> 01:45:42.816 I'm trying to do this whole kind of 2666 01:45:42.840 --> 01:45:44.159 Paul Bunyan, Midwestern thing. 2667 01:45:44.320 --> 01:45:45.440 I wanted to fill it all out. 2668 01:45:46.120 --> 01:45:49.078 So Scotty, Laird, and Ned took the printing company... 2669 01:45:49.320 --> 01:45:50.456 turned it into a toilet factory... 2670 01:45:50.480 --> 01:45:51.959 and it's going great! 2671 01:45:52.120 --> 01:45:54.998 The toilet is water efficient und eco-friendly. 2672 01:45:55.080 --> 01:45:56.479 It's state of the art. 2673 01:45:56.640 --> 01:45:59.757 I'm telling you, they have invented the Tesla of toilets! 2674 01:46:00.240 --> 01:46:01.468 It's amazing. 2675 01:46:01.640 --> 01:46:03.312 Barbara has made sure that each toilet 2676 01:46:03.400 --> 01:46:05.118 has a state of the art vaginal cleanse. 2677 01:46:05.560 --> 01:46:09.872 You know exactly what I'm saying. 2678 01:46:10.040 --> 01:46:11.598 Every single model comes with Justine. 2679 01:46:11.760 --> 01:46:12.800 Talk about a smart toilet. 2680 01:46:12.960 --> 01:46:14.176 She knows if you need a little sploosh 2681 01:46:14.200 --> 01:46:15.200 or if you actually need 2682 01:46:15.280 --> 01:46:16.800 the fountains of the Bellagio up there. 2683 01:46:18.600 --> 01:46:21.034 Scotty has finally got his seat at the table. 2684 01:46:21.680 --> 01:46:22.715 It's beautiful. 2685 01:46:22.960 --> 01:46:24.678 He went a little too far with the dragons, 2686 01:46:24.760 --> 01:46:26.240 and the titties, and the motorboating. 2687 01:46:27.800 --> 01:46:28.800 Oy vey. 2688 01:46:29.560 --> 01:46:30.629 Oh, Miss Stephanie. 2689 01:46:30.920 --> 01:46:33.309 She had the idea to link the Fleming-Mayhew company 2690 01:46:33.480 --> 01:46:35.277 with the new foundation. 2691 01:46:35.400 --> 01:46:37.630 So now, they're sponsoring sewage projects 2692 01:46:37.800 --> 01:46:39.916 all over the Third World. I told you. 2693 01:46:40.000 --> 01:46:42.434 Smart, smart, smart girl. 2694 01:46:43.000 --> 01:46:45.833 So, things are working out really well for the gang here. 2695 01:46:46.240 --> 01:46:47.719 The company is a smashing success. 2696 01:46:48.320 --> 01:46:49.878 And my dear Laird 2697 01:46:50.280 --> 01:46:52.475 has finally gotten what he's always wanted. 2698 01:46:52.920 --> 01:46:54.194 To be part of a family. 2699 01:46:57.640 --> 01:46:59.358 All right, ciao for now, you friends. 2700 01:46:59.440 --> 01:47:00.589 Until we meet again. 2701 01:47:00.760 --> 01:47:02.776 Laird, it doesn't count as a sneak attack if I can see... 2702 01:47:02.800 --> 01:47:04.552 Fuck you, Goose! Scheisse! 2703 01:47:07.280 --> 01:47:11.831 I wanna rock and roll all night 2704 01:47:12.840 --> 01:47:14.910 And party every day 2705 01:47:15.280 --> 01:47:18.636 I wanna rock and roll all night 2706 01:47:19.800 --> 01:47:21.597 And party every day 2707 01:47:25.040 --> 01:47:27.759 You keep on saying you'll be mine for a while 2708 01:47:28.280 --> 01:47:31.397 You're looking fancy and I like your style 2709 01:47:31.920 --> 01:47:36.198 You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy 2710 01:47:39.280 --> 01:47:41.999 You show us everything you've got 2711 01:47:42.400 --> 01:47:44.994 Baby, baby, it's quite a lot 2712 01:47:45.720 --> 01:47:50.191 You drive us wild, we 'll drive you crazy 2713 01:47:52.520 --> 01:47:55.637 You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting 2714 01:47:58.760 --> 01:48:03.231 I wanna rock and roll all night 2715 01:48:04.320 --> 01:48:06.117 And party every day 2716 01:48:06.280 --> 01:48:10.068 I wanna rock and roll all night 2717 01:48:11.320 --> 01:48:13.117 And party every day 2718 01:48:13.240 --> 01:48:16.994 I wanna rock and roll all night 2719 01:48:17.960 --> 01:48:19.757 And party every day 2720 01:48:19.880 --> 01:48:23.429 I wanna rock and roll all night 2721 01:48:24.640 --> 01:48:26.392 And party every day 2721 01:48:27.305 --> 01:48:33.742 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org