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♪ Oh, if I was a dog ♪
♪ I would sleep all day ♪
♪ Wouldn't let your problems get in my way ♪
♪ Yeah baby ♪
♪ How sweet my life would be ♪
♪ Things wouldn't be so bad ♪
♪ If only I was a dog ♪
♪ Oh, if I was a dog ♪
♪ Wouldn't feel no shame ♪
♪ Everything could go wrong ♪
♪ But I still wouldn't get blamed ♪
♪ Yeah baby ♪
♪ How sweet my life would be ♪
♪ And you wouldn't get so mad ♪
♪ If only I was dog ♪
♪ And I'd get all the praise I could want ♪
♪ Though I'm just chasin' my tail ♪
♪ And I'd get locked up at the pound ♪
♪ Don't even have to pay my own bail ♪
♪ And the only thing I'd want Is to run around outside ♪
- Jimmy, Jimmy,
stop dicking me around.
You know they're not gonna go for that.
- Kate, you stop dicking me around.
- It's all or nothing.
We don't need your account, remember that.
- The street says different, Kate.
- Fine, I'll throw in a dinner at Mastro's
and show some extra cleavage for the execs, how's that?
- Great, how low cut are we talking?
- We got a deal, huh?
- Eh, fine.
- Sucker!
Thanks, Jimmy, always a pleasure.
See you Thursday.
- Later, Killer.
- Yes!
♪ Wouldn't have to keep so clean ♪
♪ If only I was a dog ♪
- Hi, Peggy.
Yeah, you still on for hot yoga?
No, no, you know I can't take Arnold's class.
Every time he does downward dog, I lose focus,
and then he comes over to straighten me out,
it's like fuck me, you know?
Don't be such a prude.
I'll see you this weekend?
All right, goodbye.
Alexis, play nature sounds.
Mmm.
And we couldn't hire a moving company because?
See?
It's a sign, right, Alexis?
- I don't understand.
- Of course you don't.
- Long time, no see, Kate.
Fuckin' not ideal.
Come on, Kate.
Kate?
- What are you doing here, Lee?
- Look, I-I-I know, I uh...
LA has shit public transportation.
But you'd be surprised where six public buses and one
shifty Mexican fa-- - Don't be cute.
- I can't help it, it's inherent.
- Oh!
It's been three years, not five!
- I'm sensing a little more anger than excitement--
- Stop being cute.
- I got out early on good behavior, okay?
Kate, Kate, I'm not a fucking psychopath.
- You sure?
Because a psychopath would do something like, like,
like show up at my house without giving me
a fucking heads up!
Why would you think that's okay?
- Because it's you.
- Lee, you can't be here.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
Slight problem with that, though.
Uh, see, I may have told my probation officer
I was staying here, so-- - You did what?
- Kate, look, I feel your concern, okay?
Look, I, I really do, just,
just hear me out -
When I was riding on those six
public buses and - and one shifty Mexican farm truck,
you know what I was -
Fuck!
Fuck, Kate!
- Oh, shit.
- So, you seeing anybody?
- Well, that's blunt.
No, not really.
- Bit of a dry spell then, eh?
That's all right, same here.
- Oh, you didn't couple up in prison?
Isn't that how tight little white boys
like you survive in there?
- Well, that's blunt.
- No, did anyone fuck you in the ass is blunt.
- Yeah, yeah, I guess that's a bit more blunt, sure.
- So, did anyone fuck you in the ass?
- Oh, of course, yeah.
Only uh... only twice though.
Oh come on, I'm not dumb, Kate.
I uh... I joined the white supremacists first thing,
right when I got in there.
- Well, I hear their health benefits are just top notch.
- Uh huh, yeah, and they are gonna hook me up
with a sweet gig as uh...
some sort of rally organizer I guess.
A little uh... a little hazy on the details
at the moment though.
And uh...
What about you?
What's uh... What's Ms. Kate Caldwell
doing in the Valley now, huh?
You like it?
- I'm an account manager for a marketing company.
So, yeah.
- The fuck does that mean?
- I take rich white men to dinner.
- Holy shit, what happened?
I mean, you used to be overwhelmed by houses like this.
- It's not exactly a mansion.
- Certainly no Calabasas.
- My mom downsized after dad died,
and now I'm downsizing again.
- Shit, I, uh...
I'm sorry about your mom.
- You're not, but thanks.
- You still see right through me, huh?
I tried though, huh?
You see that, Kate?
That was that was acting right there,
yeah, I did a few stage plays in uh... in uh, in jail.
- Oh, so you're an actor as well as a musician now?
Impressive. - Oh, yeah.
Played Juliet in fact, yeah.
Really uh, pulled from my experiences.
You know, with the whole tragic love story thing?
- Lee, you can't stay here.
- What are you, your fuckin' sister now?
- Do you think Sandra would be as calm as
I am right now?
- Nope.
But, I doubt she'd pepper spray me though.
Speaking of, how is uh Sandra?
- The same, only pregnant, married to a square, John.
- Wow, she certainly doesn't disappoint.
- You're changing the subject.
- I don't have anyone, but you.
- Did you just quote Iron Man?
- It was the only DVD they had in the pen.
I pretty much memorized the whole thing.
- I'm gonna regret this.
Uh, you can sleep here one night.
You got it?
And you sleep on the couch, you got that too?
- Yeah, got it.
Look, I'm a...
I'm gonna be like a mouse, Kate.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like a fuckin', like a sleepy ninja.
Yeah, I'm gonna be the quietest house guest
you have ever seen.
- Yeah, that's what my last Airbnb tenant said before
I booted her.
- What's a...
What's an Airbnb?
- You might have missed a few things while you were away.
Uh, shower's here.
Don't drop the soap.
Alexis, turn off nature sounds.
- The fuck?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, haven't you seen 2001?
Or Terminator?
Oh my God, Tron?
Kate, you can't trust machines.
- Okay, John Connor.
Uh, here's some of your old stuff.
I, I figured you might need it.
- Are you kidding me?
Wow, I...
I thought you would have thrown this out by now.
- I would have, I just forgot.
Uh, so I made your bed, there.
- Oh thanks, thanks.
Hey, hey do you have anything to drink?
You know, I was thinking
I was thinking maybe we could crack open a few beers?
You know, reminisce about the good old days?
What do you say?
- Uh... no, I don't, sorry.
- Right, yeah.
Uh, night, Kate.
- Night, Lee.
- Why didn't you come see me?
When I was away, why...
why didn't you visit?
- Because you're bad for me, Lee.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, just like a ninja.
- How old are these?
- Mmm, I already regret letting you stay here tonight.
Don't push it.
- You said I could sleep here one night.
I mean I haven't slept at all tonight.
So for tomorrow night, I would love it if we could
pick up some butterscotch pudding.
- Mmm.
- I know, it's kind of old school, but uh...
they didn't have any in the pen and fuck me if I didn't
miss it by the end.
- No, no, no, that was not the deal.
- Ah, it's in the details, Kate.
- Oh, I remember the details.
- You don't remember anything.
- I remember how uh... you always used to wake up
in the middle of the night, looking for snacks.
And because of that, how I thought our apartment
had mice the whole first month we lived together.
- Mm-hmm, and do you remember what happened
when we actually did have mice?
- We had mice?
- Plus, I don't recall you hating my snack raids back then.
- Yeah, 'cause you'd come in like some sort
of snack genie and wake me up with a little tiny egg
and cheese burrito every night.
Who would hate that?
I'm not hungry, but thanks.
- I, uh...
I also remember
what used to happen after I woke you up.
- Yeah, we didn't get a lot of sleep back then, did we?
- Uh.
No.
No, we did not.
- Fuck.
- Kate!
Kate!
You better be ready to pack, or so help me God!
Screw it, I'm coming in, Kate.
Okay, here is the plan.
I'm gonna pack up the kitchen; Utensils,
appliances, et cetera, and you are gonna bring the boxes
into the garage because A, I'm pregnant,
and B, I'm pregnant.
Of course you're not ready.
Oh, and look, you didn't pack anything last night either.
Fantastic!
- Mm, good morning, Sandra.
- Is it?
- Oh, fuck me!
- Because I woke up, like I do every day now,
and vomited a literal quart size into a convenient
bucket that's next to my bed due to the fact that I can't
make it to the bathroom anymore.
By the way, ants, Kate.
Then, I spent 35 minutes
35 minutes, Kate,
in our local kosher bakery just,
just inhaling because I can't eat chocolate right now.
- For the record, you can eat chocolate cake,
you just choose not to.
- No, chocolate has caffeine,
which is bad for the baby.
- There's such a thing as moderation.
- And then, I come here to find my ever prompt sister
not at all ready for a pre-arranged day of packing,
one of which I took a personal day off of work for,
and I only get five of those.
- Oh, no.
- Yes, Kate, only five.
- When an elephant returns to its herd after
being absent for a long time, the herd will scream,
urinate, and defecate in celebration.
Ah, it's still better than pepper spray, though.
- You know what?
The plan is the same.
I'll pack the kitchen, you lift boxes, okay?
- Can you believe they didn't have Boston creme, huh?
W-what sort of Turkish-owned,
Latino-fuckin'-operated, Jewish bakery doesn't have
an Irish class...
Hey, Sandra.
You are looking lovely for a pregnant lass.
Uh, to be honest, I didn't know you'd be joining us,
so I didn't get you a coffee, I'm, I'm sorry,
but you know what?
You can have mine.
A-actually, I hear caffeine is bad for babies anyways,
so I'll just keep it, okay?
Mmm, it's pretty good.
- What the fuck?
- Nice to see you too, by the way.
- Shut the fuck up, Lee.
- Got it.
So, Sandra, I hear uh... you know I hear you're married
to a square now, how's that?
- So, you're fucking him already?
Oh my God, you are fucking him already!
Kate, come on!
- Good luck.
- What are you thinking, Kate?
What the fuck are you thinking?
- I told him he could stay here for one night, Sandra.
He-he needed a place to sleep,
what was I supposed to do?
- Fucking pepper spray him.
- I fucking did!
- You did what?
- Hey, Sandra?
- Lee, shut up, and stop blowing smoke
into my dead mother's house!
- Shit, yeah I'm real sorry about that.
- Yeah, no you're not, Lee.
- Fair enough.
Uh, you know, since you're pregnant and sober,
yeah, I'm uh... I'm gonna need your piss.
Only for three to six months though, you know?
Probation and what not, you know?
- You know he's gonna end up back in prison in less than
a year, right?
- That might be a bit optimistic.
- Listen.
You can't make this work.
Okay?
I know, I know you think you can, but you can't.
- Oh, I can make this work.
- No, that's not what I said, I--
- You literally just said that.
- I didn't say you can't make this work, I said,
you can't make this work.
There is a difference.
- Okay, you know what, Sandra?
Stop playing mom here for a hot second,
and let me worry about what I can and can't do, okay?
Hey, Lee.
- Yeah?
- You can stay here until you find a permanent place.
- Hey, Sandra.
I'm sorry, this is the fun-vee.
The humdrum-vee is back there.
- He's quoting Iron Man.
- Dear God.
♪ What you gonna do ♪
- I am taking these bananas with me!
- Bye, Sandra!
Nice.
- You're still sleeping on the couch.
And you're helping me pack up this house while you're here.
Got it?
- Loud and clear.
- And you need to start looking for a place, today.
Got that too?
- Exceptionally loud.
Somewhat clear.
Like I said, somewhat clear.
Oh, jeez.
Yeah, Westside Rentals costs only 69 bucks.
Wow, that's a fuckin' bargain if you ask me.
Oh wait, they only take credit card.
Uh, do you mind if I use yours?
- Fine.
- Great, thank you!
Holy moley!
- Did you just say holy moley?
- Yeah.
- Never say that again. - Okay.
- Kenny, long time no talk.
Did you talk to Sarah?
Go figure.
Couch.
Couch!
♪ Said I'm going to the river and I'll walk it up and down ♪
♪ I don't find ♪
- Did you get any sleep last night?
You're looking a bit haggard.
- Haggard is in, Kate.
Get with it.
Like this?
- Uh-uh.
- Oh, fuck.
- I was thinking about maybe buying a new guitar.
And there's a, there's a great one online for only,
no way, 250 bucks?
Wow!
Uh, can I please use your credit card?
- Don't even think about it.
- Elephants can use their trunks to paint.
And they obviously love it.
Also, when they get tired of holding their trunks up,
they rest them on their tusks.
Fucking adorable.
- Do something with this, please.
Pack it, something.
Oh!
You just hurt my pride.
- What?
What is this stuff doing here, huh?
This should be like, like fuckin' front and center
of the house, Kate.
Oh my God, look at the, you've ruined the paintbrushes.
Why?
- I don't know, I haven't painted in years.
- Why?
You're amazing, Kate.
Huh, why did you stop painting?
Actually, you know, elephants can paint too?
- So I've heard.
- Oh yeah?
- I don't know, I just lost interest I guess, I dunno.
- Well that's a terrible answer.
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean as far as answers, that's probably fucking
subpar, at best.
Unbelievable.
- Hey.
- Hey?
You've been ignoring my calls.
What's going on?
- Um...
Now's not really a great time.
Can I, can I call you later?
- Now's not a great time?
Okay, awesome.
- Psst, psst.
- What, you have someone else?
You already found another guy?
Who is he? - No, no, no, no.
No, I don't, I just I'll call you later, okay?
- Wow, okay.
- Everything okay?
- Okay.
Yeah, Sandra's just being Sandra.
- Ah, she means well.
- Yeah, right.
Um...
Hey I'm gonna go get changed for work.
- Okay.
- So I'll see you later, okay?
- Yeah.
- I made dinner reservations for tonight.
I'm feeling Thai.
- You mean like, go out kind of dinner reservations?
- Uh... Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, it's fine.
- Okay.
Ow.
I'll see you later.
Pick that up.
- Okay.
Wow.
- What's going on?
- Well, I uh... I know you made reservations, but,
you know, I was thinking this could be kind of romantic.
Plus, I got Thai food.
- I said I haven't painted in--
- Okay, no, time out, time out, Kate.
Look, look, I became a bit of Monet when I was in jail.
Okay, so this is just me being selfish.
Please, after you.
- You sure did develop a lot of hobbies in prison.
- Skills, Kate.
Not hobbies, skills.
One of which I'm gonna show you now.
You ready?
- Maybe.
This is going to be terrible,
just so we're both clear on this, right?
- Speak for yourself.
♪ The sun is down, damn it's cold ♪
♪ And I'm waiting for that winter to be done once more ♪
- Cheers.
- This one? - Mm-hmm.
- You sure? - Uh huh.
♪ Wondering if I could talk to anybody I know ♪
♪ Another day is done ♪
- What?
I give up, I'm done.
Fork it is.
- How was your day?
You find a spot?
- You know, a few promising locales.
- Oh yeah? - Mm-hmm.
No.
Uh, what's the matter?
You're not, you're not thirsty?
Come on, you gotta catch up, Kate.
- I um, no I think I had a little too much coffee today.
My stomach's a little off.
- Suit yourself.
♪ It's two more days and three more, I'm still here ♪
♪ And I've been sleeping in my car and I've got no ♪
- And.
Done.
- Already?
- Okay.
Okay, look, okay.
I don't want you to be disappointed because you
had professional painter training.
- It's not called painter training.
- And-and-and professional horseback riding training,
and professional high diving training.
- Can I see the damn picture or not?
♪ And I'll tell you what I've been doing all this time ♪
♪ Just waiting for that sun to be reborn ♪
- Just show me.
♪ You turned away, when I was asking you please ♪
♪ Baby, now I feel like I got some kind of disease ♪
♪ Bless your heart, but I'm just falling apart over you ♪
- It's great.
It's great, Lee.
- It's not bad.
It's okay, you know. - Yeah?
- It's got a little... It's got a little smudge on it--
- What are you doing?
Stop! - It's kinda fuckin'...
What Kate, it's called, it's called modern art, Kate.
Come on, you gotta get with it.
That was a terrible decision. - You're a dick.
No, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
♪ Now I'd be fine if I could forget get your name ♪
♪ Tryin' to keep my head but I've been goin' insane ♪
♪ But that setting sun leaves my heart on that ground ♪
- Hey, where you going?
- Oh, good morning.
- Oh my God!
- What?
- What the hell are you making?
- Oh, you ever had spread?
- That looks like vomit.
- Well, you are gonna love it, okay?
- Ugh!
- Mmm, oh!
Mmm!
Okay, you might not hate it.
- I am absolutely not eating that.
Ugh.
Come on, we should, we should go for a hike or something.
We'll make fun of people at Runyon.
I'll even be extra Hollywood and buy us juice.
- I think I'm okay, Kate.
I didn't really get into hiking when I was in jail.
- Not one of your new skills?
- The hills were a bit too small there.
- Well, come on.
We should get out of the house.
It'll be good for you.
- I don't wanna go, okay?
- I'll be with you, it's fine.
- Kate, I'm not going.
What are you, deaf?
- Uh... Lee, I heard you.
I-I-I just think you're being stubborn.
- Kate, I'm not fucking going.
- Lee. - Kate, I'm not fucking going!
- What is your problem?
- What is my problem?
Y-you're trying to shove some dumbass hiking trip
down my throat when I already told you,
very politely, that I'm not interested in going, okay?
Thanks for breakfast.
- Holy shit, okay, you need to calm down, okay?
Fucking wow.
When was the last time you decompressed?
Fuck.
- Oh, I don't know three years ago?
This weed is so stale.
- Yeah, I haven't really smoked in a while either.
- Yeah, I'm definitely gonna need your sister's piss now.
No, I'm fuckin' serious.
- I've missed you.
- Why didn't you come see me?
- I told you-- - Kate, Kate,
that was a cop-out, okay? That was a...
That was a fuckin' Hallmark card, okay?
That was, uh-- - Because I...
I was afraid I'd waste my life waiting for you, and,
I knew if I came to see you, even once,
that's exactly what I'd do.
- You never even called, Kate.
For the first few months, I thought we were still dating.
And that maybe, that maybe you were just pissed.
And then I started to buy into this conspiracy
that this warden had it out for me and was stopping me from
contacting the outside world.
- When'd you figure it out?
- My mother called me, asking for money.
So I told her I was away and working for 93 cents a day.
- What'd she say to that?
- "I'll take what I can get."
Oh my God,
you're laughing at my drug-addicted mother?
- I swear, I'm not.
I'm not. - Wow, Kate, wow!
Wow, it shows how much you know a person, huh?
- Seriously, I'm not.
I went to rehab.
After you left.
For alcohol, mostly.
It was the only way I could stop myself
from coming to see you.
It seemed like a good idea, until, you know, it wasn't.
Lee, what I said before, that wasn't a cop-out.
You're bad for me.
It's definitely a dog. - This one?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Oh my God! - What?
- We should get a dog!
- Fuck yeah!
- We should get a dog. - Really?
- Yes. - I want a dog so bad.
- And we shall name him--
- Murphy, I wanna call him Murphy.
- Yeah, but maybe--
- Maybe not that name though. - Yeah, it's a good name.
- Why?
Okay, we can call it something else.
- It looks like a taco, it doesn't really look like
a dog anymore.
♪ I won't give up 'til you give your love back to me ♪
♪ And I'm holdin' you here in my arms ♪
- Hey.
Blow.
Just do it, blow.
Come on.
Harder.
Put it on.
- Thank you.
It's so pretty.
I love you.
- I'm surprised you're keeping up at all
with you in the throes of toxic love.
- You're being dramatic.
- I am not, and you know it.
I assume you're supporting him too?
- No. - No?
Hmm.
- Sometimes.
- Oh, sometimes, hmm.
- I don't need money, Sandra.
- Hey, I don't recall you complaining
when dad used to put money in your account every month.
It's just, you know, did Lee ever wonder
how you two paid rent?
- I told him I sold my body on the streets.
- Kate, come on now.
You guys are spending every day together.
I don't even like to see John that much.
- Well that sounds like a personal problem.
- This isn't a joke, Kate.
This is exactly what happened last time.
Lee Riley came along, and poof,
the world lost Kate Caldwell.
Actually, Peggy called me the other day
to ask where you've been lately.
- Oh, Peggy's a prude.
- Kate!
- I bet her and John would get along.
Maybe if she's bored, they can hang out.
- You know what?
Do you want me to have a miscarriage?
Is that what you want?
'Cause that's what I think you want.
- No, but if you want one, I can refer you to a few
places that could help you out with that.
- I sincerely hope you're joking.
So, everything's great then?
Lee's a changed man?
You're back to not wearing a bra, like it's fucking 2014?
Fantastic, Kate.
- I am not gonna end up in rehab again,
if that's what you're thinking.
- So you're still sober?
- Of course.
- And you don't need those silly little AA meetings, right?
That's why you haven't been going?
- You shouldn't spy on people, thank you.
- Well, two weeks ago, you would have had that house
packed no problem, Kate.
- Okay, I will get the house packed.
Would you calm down?
Besides.
I don't know, it's not like it used to be.
Lee and I are, we're good, we're better than good.
We're communicating.
- You're communicating? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Prove it.
I am having my boss over for dinner tomorrow,
and he has specifically asked to meet you.
So! - Okay.
- Bring Lee and we will see how he does.
- Mm-hmm.
- Is he gonna have a problem with that?
- No, not at all.
- No? - Mm-mmm.
- Okay, good. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh God. - Tomorrow.
8:00 p.m.
Don't be late, please.
- I won't.
- Okay.
I'll see you then.
And don't forget to wear a bra, Kate!
- I'll wear a bra. - Love you!
♪ Oh, if I was dog ♪
♪ Wouldn't wear no button up shirt ♪
♪ I'd just spend all my days ♪
- What the fuck?
♪ Rollin' round in the dirt ♪
Okay.
♪ How sweet my life would be ♪
- Ah!
Who's a good boy?
Hey, hot stuff.
Meet Murphy.
He kind of he kinda looks a little like Sandra, no?
With the frowning and see?
- What the fuck is that?
- I told you, it's Murphy.
- Please tell me you didn't buy a dog.
- Well, I didn't. I don't have a credit card.
- Why the fuck would you buy a dog?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, I uh, I thought we were on the same
page here, come on.
I distinctly remember you saying,
"We should get a dog."
- I was high out of my fucking mind.
Why the fuck would you just go and buy a dog?
Oh my God, Lee!
I have a job, okay?
Who's gonna walk it?
I don't know how to take care of something like that!
It's gonna, it's gonna fuckin' die, Lee!
It's gonna fuckin' die!
Look, can't you fuckin' return it?
- He came from a kill shelter, so I mean, that depends.
- I can't deal with this right now.
I cannot deal with this.
- Kate!
- By the way, there's dog shit in the fucking hall.
You should come pick this shit up!
- Slow.
Slow.
Slow, good boy.
Oh, who's a good boy?
Come on, slow, sit aw, you eat so much, Murphy.
- I'm sorry that I freaked out about the dog earlier.
- It's okay, don't worry about it, it's fine.
- Murphy's actually kinda cute, I guess.
- Oh yeah?
Well, he told me the same thing about you, funnily enough.
Innit, Murph?
Aw, good boy, good boy, gimme your paw.
Oh, man.
You know what, Kate?
I can't believe how much junk you've accumulated over
the past three years.
I mean, you used to just have one pair of old combat
boots you wore with every single outfit; Dress, jeans,
sweatpants, didn't matter.
Combat boots.
- It's not all mine.
You knew my mother.
She was a bit overindulgent.
- Understatement of the century right there.
- Oh.
- Oh my God, no way.
- Oh, God.
- Fuck, Stewie Caldwell!
- He despised that name.
Sandra still thinks you caused his heart attack.
- Hey, hey, look, I was already locked up when he
kicked the bucket, okay?
So, not my fault.
- Very true.
But mom told us after the fact that he'd have these
cold sweats and he'd wake up in the middle of the night
with these nightmares that you actually didn't go to prison.
So there.
- Okay, well, for all the worrying your dad did,
mine did the opposite.
That guy didn't care where I was, who I was fucking,
what I was smoking.
I mean, he tried, but ah, maybe he didn't, whatever.
Hopefully I'll be a better father than he was.
- I don't think I ever want kids.
I dunno, the thought of ruining like a real human being--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you talking about, you don't want kids?
You always wanted kids.
- I never wanted kids.
- Uh... Do I need to remind you about the mice, Kate?
- Do I need to remind you that girlfriends
are always right?
- Oh, so you're my girlfriend now, are you?
- Well, I mean...
I would hope so.
It's been a month, you know?
Too soon?
- No fucking way.
"Love Songs From Lee"?
Kate, Kate, we're listening to it.
Watch out, watch, watch out!
We're listening to it!
Come on, let's go!
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
- This song is dedicated to a very special lady,
Miss Kick-Ass Kate Caldwell.
Hit it, boys.
- Lee, you've gotta stop unpacking the boxes!
Sandra's gonna kill me if I don't get this done.
- Okay, Kate, Kate?
Stop worrying, and dance with me, okay?
Up.
♪ I said I wanted you ♪
♪ But baby, I was wrong ♪
♪ I really needed you ♪
♪ That's why I wrote this song ♪
♪ You were working at the bar ♪
♪ I was walking over concrete stars ♪
- Would you take it back?
♪ The piano took control of me ♪
If you could?
♪ And that's when you took a hold of me ♪
- I can't, why, why would you even say that?
Obviously, I would, Kate.
I spent three fucking years without you.
- I love you, Lee Riley.
I love you.
♪ To the song I put on repeat ♪
- We can do it, Kate.
We can do it.
- Again?
I gotta be honest Lee, she's not used to this much action.
- No, no, no, I'm talking about us, Kate.
No, I'm talking about us.
We could, look, we could,
we could fuckin' have a family,
we could have a home, Kate.
We could fuckin' do this.
- Lee-- - No, no, Kate.
Kate.
We can make this work, okay?
You and I, okay?
I mean, look.
Let's do it, okay?
Let's, let's fuckin', let's live here.
Kate, Kate, Kate.
Okay, look, I've been thinking and, look,
I don't want to waste another moment of my life
making wrong choices.
Jesus Christ, you're fuckin' killin' me, Kate.
You're fuckin' killin' me!
I can't breathe!
Do you know how hard it is for a smoker to hold
his breath, Kate?
I can't breathe!
- Okay, fine!
Fuck it, let's do it.
Let's do it, I wanna do it!
♪ You bring me closer to home ♪
♪ A place I've never had ♪
♪ But I've always been searching for ♪
♪ 'Cause I remember every part ♪
♪ From the color of your clothes ♪
♪ To the song I put on repeat ♪
♪ Your perfume with my cologne ♪
- Hello? - Hello!
You didn't forget about my dinner party tonight, right?
You told Lee?
- Uh... yep, all set.
- Kate, you forgot.
Hey, I can't believe you're eating that in front
of me right now!
- What, you keep buying it and not touching it.
What am I supposed to do?
- I told you, I just like looking at it, John!
- That doesn't make any sense.
- Feet!
So you haven't told Lee?
- As soon as he's home,
I will, promise.
- Is that a dog?
Oh my God, please tell me you didn't buy a dog, Kate?
- Okay then, I didn't buy a dog.
- Ugh!
Whatever, I'm sure that was really thought out.
Just don't be late tonight, okay?
And please, make sure Lee wears a tie.
- That might be a problem.
- Kate, are you fucking kidding me?
Look, if he doesn't have a tie, I will come over--
- Elephants can produce up to 300 pounds
of shit a day.
Eh, kind of like Murphy.
- No, we'll be there, on time in a tie.
One of us, at least.
- Kate, if you show up wearing a tie, I will--
- Good morning, Kick-Ass Kate.
- It is, isn't it?
- Hello?
She hung up on me.
- We should get a dog.
- No.
- So-- - Hmm?
- Tonight, I was thinking we could go for a little drive
into the desert.
- Mm-hmm?
- Look up at the stars,
and smoke some of that stale weed.
- Oh, that sounds perfect.
Except, we have plans.
Sandra's having a dinner party tonight and she wants
us both to go.
I'm sorry.
- Kate.
Kate, Kate, Kate.
A human being can do one of two things, okay?
They can have dinner, or they can party.
They can't do both.
- You bought a dog yesterday.
- So?
What time's the dinner party?
- Thank you.
Uh, also, you need to wear a tie.
It's just a tie, stop looking so miserable.
- I didn't even wear a tie to my own father's funeral, okay?
I mean, that was largely to spite him, but still.
- Lee, grow up, it's a piece of fabric.
- It ain't me.
- If you don't let me wrap it around your neck,
I'll choke the shit out of you, okay?
- Hey, Kate, I'm not wearing it.
Still think the combat boots went with the outfit,
but what do I know?
Not even sure why we even brought this, 'cause
we don't even drink wine anyways, so--
- When you go to someone's house,
you show up with a bottle of wine.
It's called being an adult.
Get with it. - Says who?
Who made that rule?
- I dunno, people.
- Bullshit.
Plus I'm pretty sure Sandra's allergic to red wine,
so uh... well done there.
- Crap.
- Look who's only 30 minutes late.
The lovebirds.
Oh um... you brought uh... you brought red wine.
Hmm, fantastic.
- Yeah, Lee loves red wine.
He insisted.
- Mm-hmm, okay.
Well, come on.
- Dick.
- Everyone's already seated, ready for dinner,
so job well done there.
I can't believe you didn't wear a bra, Kate.
- Oh, I'm wearing one, it's just real thin.
- Nice.
Kate, I want you to meet my boss, Chuck Sullivan,
and his very, very beautiful wife, Cassie Sullivan.
- It's a pleasure, Kate.
I've heard so much about you.
- Hi.
- It's so nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- I'm Lee, what's up?
- Pleasure to meet you, Lee.
- Hi, Lee.
- Hey.
Brought wine. - Thank you.
- It's the good stuff.
- Great!
- Evening.
Kate, you look lovely tonight.
- Thank you, John.
- Lee, long time no see.
- I'm sorry, we've met before?
- Yeah.
Me and Sandra have been together about five years
now, so I should think so.
- You sure?
I mean, I because I think I'd remember a guy
with a British accent.
- Well, you was usually high.
Or drunk.
Sometimes both.
- That's probably true.
- Okay.
Can you put those there?
Thank you everyone for coming,
especially Cassie and Chuck.
Uh, tonight, we will be having pan-seared chicken breast,
organic, obviously, with a side of wilted
asparagus, also organic, and John made his very famous
golden mashed potatoes, which of course,
goes without saying that they are--
- Actually, Sandra.
They're not.
- Are you fucking kidding me, John?
- They're organic, everyone.
- Jokester!
Bon appetit!
- Oh, Sandra, should you really be throwing
a dinner party in your condition?
- Thank you for worrying about me, Lee,
but I love throwing dinner parties,
and I am only four months pregnant.
- Only?
- You're drinking tonight, Kate?
- Just a glass.
So, Chuck, you're Sandra's boss?
I didn't know that, interesting.
- Oh, well, why would you?
Ah, Sandy's the best though, isn't she?
- Thank you, Chuck.
Too sweet.
- Too sweet is right.
If I don't keep a close eye on this one at all times,
who knows what I'll find sniffing around for a taste?
- He is a catch!
- Kate, we've met before, am I right?
- Don't think so.
- No, Kate has a terrible memory, like real bad.
- That's true.
- No, it was last year at the Christmas party.
- Oh? - Yeah, I'm sure of it.
It's just weird I didn't remember it until right now.
- I don't think I met Sandra's boss, that night.
- Like I said, terrible memory.
- Well, that was right before your second medical
leave from work, right?
- Second?
- You know, after our second child,
I went to the spa for an entire week.
- Not quite the same thing.
- A spa, you went to a spa?
Nice.
- You've never been to a spa?
- You mean like a shvitz?
I saw that on "The Sopranos" once.
- So, Cassie, what do you do?
- Well, I'm a stay at home mother.
- Mm-hmm, yep.
- That's really rewarding.
- Quite.
- Oh, the food's great, by the way, Sandra.
Uh, real good, thank you.
Uh, I mean, you know, the asparagus
is a little mushy, you know?
- That's not nice, Lee.
- Well, you can't fault him for being honest, can ya?
- No, no, no, hey come on, it's probably just me.
- I think yours are great, Sandra.
- It's really excellent, Sandy.
- Like I said, probably just me.
- Chuck, did you see the new numbers that came in?
- Oh, no, no, no, no work.
We're all havin' a good time.
- You're right.
My dad used to always say the same thing,
"No work talk at the dinner table."
- Well, that's a lie.
Our father never even made it home for dinner.
- Well, thank you for that, Kate.
- I'm just being honest.
- So, Lee, what do you do?
- Well, I'm an artist, actually.
- You're an artist? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What kind, are you a painter or--
- No, no, that's, that's more Kate's thing.
I'm a, you know, I'm a musician.
- A musician? - Yeah.
- You got a steady gig somewhere?
- I mean, you could say I'm between jobs at the moment.
- Oh, no. - Yeah.
- What happened?
I mean, if you don't mind me asking.
- Chuck...
- I take it you know I went to jail?
- Well, you know how it is.
It's best to be notified if there's gonna be a convict
at the dinner table.
Gotta leave the kids at home, right?
- Nice one. - Just kidding.
- And what-what do you do, Chuck?
- Oh me?
Accounting.
Numbers, math.
It's really quite boring, honestly.
I make a lot of money.
But I'm actually more interested in you.
What was prison like?
- I don't think Lee wants to talk about that right now--
- No, no, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
Uh, you know, three meals a day.
Uh, plenty of exercise.
I mean, to be honest with you,
I just did what I could to, to get out early and get
back to Kate.
- Oh, that's sweet. - Yeah.
- What's the next step though?
You're a felon now, right?
- It's not like I'm dangerous or anything.
- No, no, of course.
But you're a felon, correct?
I mean, that's gotta come with a few strings.
You can't work for the government.
A private company won't hire you, I mean,
ours certainly wouldn't.
You can't work with kids.
Do you have any laboring skills?
'Cause I know a lot of those companies
actually take on ex-cons.
- I hear there are all sorts of nonprofit programs
working to help convicts get back on their feet.
- I heard that too.
That might be worth looking into, Lee.
- Yeah, why not?
- You know, we've got lemon meringue for dessert.
- Yes!
- God you know what, I don't mean to pry.
I just know, if I couldn't support Cassie here,
and my babies, I would feel like,
I don't know.
I guess I would feel like not much of a man.
- Like I said, I'm a musician.
- Yeah, that's right.
What were you guys called?
Maybe we've heard of you.
- Probably not.
Yeah, we cater to a cultured crowd.
- Ah.
- Yeah.
- Hey, Kate.
What do you think of Lee's music?
- Well, Chuck-- - She loves it.
Thanks for asking.
- I didn't ask you.
I asked Kate.
- And I fucking answered.
- Okay, there is no need to swear at the table, Lee.
- We're just having a friendly conversation, right, Lee?
- I didn't notice.
- Well, nobody asked me what I do.
I'm a bank teller, in case anyone was wondering.
- What the fuck is going on, Kate?
How do you know my boss?
- I don't know him.
- Oh, you don't know him?
Did you fuck him, hmm?
Were you fucking him?
Are you fucking him?
- I am not currently fucking him, no.
- Oh my God, oh my God.
Why?
- If it's any consolation, I didn't know he was your boss.
He told me he didn't even work at the company.
- That is not a consolation, Kate.
You are, you are ruining my dinner party!
- Fine, then I lied about your asparagus
to make you feel better.
- What is wrong with you?
Every single time I think you're growing up just
a little bit, you go and do something dumb
and fucked up and ridiculous!
- Stop trying to stick your perfect little fingers
in everyone's business.
I realize you were raised to think the world revolves
around your eerily symmetrical face,
but it doesn't.
- You know what?
I try.
I try so hard.
But you just don't care.
You don't care.
You don't care about my well-being.
You don't care about my happiness.
You don't care about my life.
- Mom's dead, Sandra.
You were at the funeral, we both saw her go in the ground.
You're not fooling anyone with this little routine here.
- Really?
Who paid for rehab when you went away?
Me.
Who has set you up with at least a dozen
handsome, polite suitors?
That's me.
Who found your new fucking apartment?
- Yeah, I forgot to tell you how much I love
being your guinea pig.
Let's just test out parenting on Kate before
baby number one pops out just in case we fuck it up
the first time.
Let's, let's make Kate pack the house, make Kate move,
make Kate come over, make Kate play nice.
- You don't get it!
You don't get it, Kate!
- What the fuck?
- Oh, goddamn it!
- You're fucking pregnant, you fucking dumbass!
- You hate me.
- I don't mean to.
- Mind if I steal one?
- Didn't know you smoked.
- I haven't in years.
Sandra made me quit.
- Oh yeah?
She make you do a lot of things?
- Is it that obvious?
- No.
Uh, maybe.
- You know, hats off to you for not cracking
that guy back there.
Back in the day, I would have done it myself.
- Sure.
Okay.
- It's true.
I went to juvie when I was 18 for beating a kid's face in.
- Does Sandra know?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- You know, I was still getting in scraps when we first met.
Eventually...
she gave me an ultimatum.
She said, "Either grow up and stop being a punk,
"or I'm leaving."
So I did.
- Congratulations.
Yeah.
- My point is
It's not a question of whether or not you can change.
It's a question of whether or not you want to.
- You make the right choice?
- I'd like to think so.
- Were you sleeping with Chuck?
- No.
- Look, I'm sorry about tonight, okay?
- Yeah, me too.
- Elephants can feel a range of human emotions,
including remorse, which they avail themselves
of by hugging one another with their trunks.
I wish I had a trunk sometimes.
- Hey.
- Hey, babe.
- Babe?
That's new.
Your old pet names used to be more like asshole,
fuckface, douchebag.
- I didn't know you were such a masochist.
I never would have stopped using those.
- How's work?
- Uh... long.
Just in the office prepping for a meeting tomorrow.
You?
- I uh... actually I went to see Russ today.
About a job.
- A job?
- Yeah, a job.
- Like a criminal job?
Because it kinda sounds like a criminal job.
- No, like a real job, at his bar.
- Doesn't he own a lounge?
- Seriously?
- I'm sorry, Lee, that's great.
- I'm not playing on stage.
I'm busing tables and mopping floors, but,
but it's a job, so.
- Hey, I'll head out now and um...
I'll try and catch you before you go and maybe give
you a little good luck action beforehand.
- Well, don't make promises you can't keep.
- Leaving as we speak.
Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Traffic was worse than I thought.
I had to take like six buses,
and one shifty Mexican farm truck just to--
- Wow!
You look amazing, Kate.
- What's going on?
You're late.
- Yeah, I just figured I'd, you know,
soak up a little liquid courage first, that's all, you know.
- You can't go to work drunk, Lee.
- Come on, relax, it's a bar, they won't care.
- It's a lounge.
- Fuck's sake.
Okay, Kate?
Kate, Kate, just have one drink with me please?
Just one?
- I have a meeting tomorrow.
- Well, come on, it's all the better then.
Just take the, take the edge off, you know,
help you sleep, just one?
- Why do you think I bought Nyquil?
Lee, you have to go to work.
You promised Russ and, frankly,
I can't support you anymore, financially, so--
- Kate, Kate, I don't have to do anything, okay?
I have been in captivity for three years, okay?
There are two things that I wanna do.
Number one, I want an American cheeseburger.
Ah, and the other--
- Iron Man?
- Aw, busted.
- Lee, please be serious here for a second.
Please?
- I'm dead serious, Kate.
Look.
This is called the coma cocktail, okay?
Because, uh...
Whoo! Well, you get the point.
- There's no way I'm drinking that.
♪ Oh, I wish I was a rock ♪
♪ So I could sink on down ♪
♪ To the bottom of the river ♪
♪ Where there's no one around ♪
♪ Now I've been singin' by myself ♪
♪ 'Bout how lonely I must be ♪
♪ It's hard to find that piece ♪
- Shit!
Damn it!
- Whoa.
Uh, whoa, whoa, why's everybody yelling?
- Shut up, Lee!
Just shut the fuck up!
- Morning, Kate.
- You are fucking shit up, Lee!
Drive to get to the liquor store drunk.
Fucking idiot.
- Yeah, it was your idea.
- What the fuck?
Fucking...
Fucking surge charge?
Fuck, it's 10:00 a.m.!
What the fuck, Uber?
Goddamn it!
Fuck!
Fuck, shit!
No!
♪ On my feet but don't know where to begin ♪
♪ I wish I was a rock ♪
♪ So I could sink on down ♪
- Uh... Did you call an Uber?
- Ralph's, please.
- Morning, Murphy.
What's up, buddy?
Ouch.
Ow, Murphy!
Hey, shhh.
- You have two new messages.
First message.
- Lee.
You asked for a second chance.
You didn't show up for work.
You're dead, you understand?
- Oh. - You're dead, motherfucker.
- Next message.
- Hey Lee, it's Sandra.
So Kate and I are coming over--
- Oh Murph, come on, buddy.
- To clean up the mess you made last night,
but don't worry about leaving that little mess.
We'll handle it.
- End of messages.
- Hey Sandra, what's going on?
Murphy, get in, in!
Huh?
Hey Sandra, what's Kate doing, huh?
Why is she packing?
We're not moving, she's not moving.
Hello, what?
Why is Kate packing?
She's not moving.
What?
- What are you doing, Lee?
- W-what do you mean, what am I doing?
- What are you doing?
- I don't know.
- You made me a promise, Lee.
You promised you would stay away from Kate.
Right I, I wrote at least a dozen letters to help get
you released early, and the first thing,
the first thing you do--
- Who else do I have, Sandra?
Come on, tell me.
- So that's it?
You just came running back to Kate because you knew she
would be here like, like a loyal puppy?
- No, I came became I love her.
- Really? - Yeah, really.
- Well, you've never told her that.
Look.
I know you think I hate you.
But I don't.
I really don't, okay?
You're just...
You're not good for Kate.
And she is not good for you.
She'll never leave you, Lee.
So, if that is what you want, then fine.
But if you love my sister...
Then you'll do the right thing.
Um... also, Chuck is having a party tonight and he wants
you and Kate there so he can apologize.
- It's not a good idea.
- Yeah, no shit, I know it's not a good idea, Lee,
but you're going to show up, and you're gonna accept his
apology because I am telling you to.
Got it?
I gotta get ready, so see you guys tonight.
- I'm making some hangover food, you want anything?
Okay.
Same fuckin' eggs.
What happened, Kate?
They're spoiled, huh?
You used to love eating eggs.
- I can't anymore, they make me sick.
- Well, then the logical thing to do
would be to throw them out, wouldn't it?
- Stop it.
- Why?
- Because I don't know, I might start eating them
again, down the road.
- That makes no sense-- - I said stop it.
- What is your problem?
- I don't want you to throw out the fucking eggs.
I want the fucking eggs to stay right here,
so that they'll be there if I want them, okay?
- You're being ridiculous.
- When I'm done with the eggs, I will throw them out, Lee.
You got that?
I will throw the fucking eggs out.
- You know what, I'm not gonna argue with someone who
makes no fucking sense, so whatever, okay?
I gotta buy cigarettes anyway, fuck you.
Hey, what the fuck?
- You want me to get rid of the fucking eggs?
You want me to forget about the fucking eggs, Lee?
- What is wrong with you? - Huh, huh?
This is what you want, right?
Right? - Kate, hey!
- Fine, fucking-- - Would you, would you,
would you stop it?
Jesus Chr--
What is wrong with you, huh?
- I'm fine, just forget it!
Just forget it.
- You wanna talk about what just happened, maybe?
Hello, Kate?
- No, I don't.
You can put on your own tie tonight.
- Nice boots.
Look, Kate, uh...
Look I'm sorry, okay?
I shouldn't have made you drink last night.
I should have just-- - You don't get it, Lee.
You didn't make me do anything.
I did it because I wanted to do it with you.
We should go.
- I'll be back.
Hello, hello, hello!
- Hey.
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
- And, Kate, I like your boots.
Lee. Come with me, I'll introduce you to some people.
- I'm a producer. - Wow.
- Oh, wow, that's great.
- Yeah.
- Should we get a drink? - Yeah.
- We're gonna get a drink.
- All right, see you later.
- What's the matter?
You should be thanking this man, he's made a lot of movies.
- Entertainment, what was that?
- It's called networking.
Didn't you, like, network in prison
to get ramen noodles or shivs?
- No, I remember when networking was about buying
a round of shots for somebody at the bar.
- Yeah, 'cause that'll get you the job.
- Kate!
Lee!
- No fucking tie.
I can't believe this fucking guy.
- It's fine, just leave it.
- So nice of you guys to join us.
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
So what do you guys think?
How do you like the place?
- It's gorgeous,
thank you for inviting us.
- Yeah.
I mean, it's a little too open for my taste,
but, I mean, it's not bad.
- So where's Cassie tonight?
- Cassie?
She went to Bali for the month.
- Oh! - With the gals.
- Wow.
- Well, I hear Bali's supposed to be great this
time of year, you know?
- Yeah, yeah.
Hey, I just wanted to apologize about the other night.
I had one too many scotches.
Gets me buckin' like a bull, you know how it is.
- You were drinking Merlot, no?
Uh, yeah, I'm sorry too.
- All right.
Well you guys enjoy yourselves, it's a party.
Grab a drink.
There's a bartender floatin' around here somewhere.
At least, I paid for one. So...
Kate.
- Chuck.
Oh uh... Sandy's over there. - Kate, come here!
I want you to meet Joan!
- I'm gonna go smoke. - She's in advertising too!
- Evening.
Oh, no.
Sandra'll see.
- Suit yourself.
You know, I've been thinking about what you said, and,
I don't know if you're right.
- What's that?
- I don't think I can change.
It's like some part of me just knows
I'm not gonna be any better than Albany fuck up,
Jake Riley, you know?
- Can I assume that's your father?
- Yeah, you can assume.
I dunno, it's just, look, it's like,
I'm gonna go home tonight, and there's gonna be dog
vomit all over the fuckin' house you know, 'cause uh...
'cause I let this poor, dumb dog eat spoiled eggs.
You know, and I dunno, it's, it's on me, you know?
- Gonna be honest with you, mate.
I fuckin' lost you.
- It just doesn't matter how bad you want it.
- If you wanted it bad enough,
you wouldn't be saying that.
Drink, please.
- No tip?
- You want a tip?
- Well, if you don't have any cash,
you could give me a check.
- Okay, I'll give you a tip.
Okay...
Come here.
Stay as far away from these fuckin' people as you can?
Okay?
Good chat, good chat.
- Thanks.
- Hey, Chuck.
Chuck.
Yeah, I'm not fuckin' sorry, okay?
Not even a little bit.
- Excuse me?
- Before, I said I was sorry, and I'm not, okay?
And that is the difference between you and me, okay?
At least I can acknowledge that I'm a piece of shit.
- You're gonna come into my house,
you're gonna eat my food, you're gonna drink--
- Yeah, I haven't eaten anything,
you know why?
Because I made better guac when I was in fuckin' jail.
- All right, guys?
Guys, get this asshole out of here.
- You have bodyguards at a fuckin' house party?
You fucking pansy.
- What's going on, what's going on?
- What's going on is your convict boyfriend here
wants to square up against me in my own house.
- Oh, fuckin' square up, really?
Huh, is that it?
- Come on Lee I'm calling an Uber, come on.
- Yeah have her call you an Uber,
'cause you can't afford an Uber, you piece of shit.
Good pick, Kate.
Good luck with that one.
- Hey, you know what?
I'm sorry, you know what?
I am so fuckin' stupid.
You know, I almost went off with your glass.
Here, Chuck.
- Oh, God-- - Here, take it.
- Fuck!
- My hand slipped.
I'm sorry, Chuck.
- I'm gonna sue your ass, motherfucker!
All $10 you're worth!
- I'm fuckin' sorry. - I'm suing your dumb ass.
- Yeah okay fuckin' enjoy it. - You fucking idiot, come on!
- Fuckin' asshole, fuck!
- Kate, would you stop?
Kate, would you stop and talk to me please?
- What's the fuckin' point?
- Oh, you're right, whatever, okay.
Go on, good night, go.
- Well, it's gonna be the same conversation we always
have, so what's the fucking point?
- What are you talking about?
We haven't been together in three fuckin' years, Kate.
- And we were arguing about the same exact shit back then.
Three years in a fucking 10 by 10 cell did absolutely
nothing for you?
- The best night's sleep I've gotten in a month--
- Oh.
- Was in a fucking closet, okay?
It did plenty.
- Do you remember what we were fighting about,
when you hit that guy?
Do you remember what he said?
- Yeah, I remember everything.
- Like how you wouldn't amount to anything?
That you weren't good enough for me,
right before you smashed a bottle over his skull, huh?
How is that any different from tonight, Lee?
- Well, I didn't use a bottle.
- Oh, you're always so cute.
You're so fucking cute.
- Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I look fucking cute?
I look real fuckin' cute in this,
this fuckin' ironed shirt and this,
this nice fuckin' jacket, and this fancy fuckin' tie?
Who the fuck do you think I am, huh?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
- What does that mean? - What does that mean?
Well, one second, you're all about getting high,
and skipping work, and fucking my brains out,
and the next, huh?
The next, you wanna, you wanna fuckin' dress me up,
you wanna take me to a fucking fancy dinner party
and tell people I am in entertainment?
"Oh, Lee is in entertainment."
What the fuck does that mean, huh?
That's cute.
- It's called growing up, Lee.
It's called being a fucking adult.
Why is it.
Why is it that you can't accept anything good in your life?
Are you that much of a fucking cynic that you just
have to rip it all apart the minute things start to work?
- Well maybe it's because you tell me I'm bad for you
every five fuckin' minutes.
Yeah.
And I know about Chuck.
I'm not an idiot.
- Lee.
I love you.
I love you more than you can understand.
Which is why I need to tell you you're not gonna make it
as a musician.
You're just not.
And I don't say that out of spite.
I say that because I care about you.
And I want you to move on.
You're passionate.
And you're sweet-- - Save it.
- I know if you put that-- - Fuckin' save it, Kate!
- Into something else, if you put that into something else,
we might actually be able to have a life together.
We might actually be able to go inside that house rip
every box open, and be happy.
I'm sorry, Lee.
Say something.
Say something, Lee.
Come on, say something!
Fuckin' yell at me, hit me!
- Come on, shove me!
- Call me cunt, yell at me! - Come on, hit me, come on.
Hit me all you want, come on.
Hit me all you want Kate, because that shit,
that shit fucking heals, okay?
But I already told you, I remember everything.
And for the record, Kate.
I wouldn't take it back.
Take your fuckin' tie.
- Do you remember the night we met?
It was August, I think.
And um...
I was working at that bar, fucking Piano Bar.
I don't even know if it's still there anymore.
Anyway it was hot as hell,
and uh... my hair was all fucked up and frizzy.
And I was just in this shit mood 'cause it was loud
and cramped and it was like, two for one Bud night.
And so I'm like slinging these things left and right,
but no one's tipping, like at all.
And, to top it off, this asshole in the back starts
banging on the fucking piano,
singing to whatever the hell they were playing, and,
and he keeps fucking throwing 20s in the basket,
making them play the same song again and,
again and again.
And he's banging like a fucking idiot each time.
After like the sixth repeat, I've had it, I'm done.
And I walk over to kick him out,
and I say--
- "Does being an asshole come naturally?
"Or do you actually have to try?"
I turned around and saw you.
Your hair was all frizzy.
And I thought you were beautiful.
And I know it sounds stupid, but uh...
Man I was speechless.
So, you said,
"You gotta go buddy, you're pissing everyone off."
And I said, "That's fine.
"I was just about ready to take you home anyway."
I do love you, Kate.
I really do.
And I do understand because I remember it was July 28th.
The song was "Piano Man".
And you weren't slinging Buds.
They were Miller High Lifes.
I must have replayed that memory 100 times
when I was away.
And if I could relive one night again,
It would be that one.
Every time, it would be that one.
♪ Just looking up the street when I saw you ♪
♪ Didn't even see me as I walked on by ♪
♪ It's been a few long months since I've seen you ♪
♪ You had to let me go ♪
♪ Well, I've been fine doing the things that I wanted to ♪
♪ Trying to forget that didn't last too long ♪
♪ I didn't know how much I loved you ♪
♪ Until you let me go ♪
♪ And now we're silent eyes ♪
♪ On one another's faces ♪
♪ As the rain ♪
♪ Aw it poured on down ♪
♪ And now we had to cry ♪
♪ As I left for other places ♪
♪ And you said ♪
♪ Maybe I'll see you around ♪
♪ So we sat down by that riverside ♪
♪ Watching all of those fireworks lighting up that sky ♪
♪ You said it hurt so much to lose you ♪
♪ But still you let me go ♪
♪ And now we're silent eyes ♪
♪ On one another's faces ♪
♪ As the rain ♪
♪ Baby, it poured on down ♪
♪ And now we had to cry ♪
♪ As I left for other places ♪
♪ And you said ♪
♪ Maybe I'll see you around ♪
♪ So we sat down by that riverside ♪
♪ Watching all of those fireworks lighting up that sky ♪
♪ You said it hurt so much to lose you ♪
♪ But still you let me go ♪
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