Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
Subtitles by explosiveskull
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
All right, buddy, sit down.
You ready?
Let's do your arm.
You want to count with me?
Okay.
One... two...
three... four...
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Looking for ♪
♪ Another place ♪
♪ Someone else to be ♪
♪ Looking for ♪
♪ Another chance ♪
♪ To ride into the sun ♪
♪ Ride into the sun ♪
♪ Ride into... ♪
♪ The sun ♪
♪ Where ♪
♪ Everything seems ♪
♪ So pretty ♪
♪ When you're lonely ♪
♪ And tired of the city ♪
♪ Remember, it's a flower ♪
♪ Made out of clay ♪
♪ It's hard to live ♪
♪ In the city ♪
♪ It's hard ♪
♪ To live ♪
♪ In the city ♪
♪ It's hard ♪
♪ To live ♪
♪ In the city... ♪
You need to go to the bathroom, buddy?
♪ It's hard to... ♪
Just being your own best friend?
♪ In the city ♪
Good night, Jonah.
Hey, did you bring Sarah her inhaler?
Yeah. And you, uh...
brushed Jonah?
Yup.
Great.
Don't forget we're going to my brother's
tomorrow night for dinner.
Craig hates me.
He doesn't hate you.
His factory setting is "asshole."
You think he's going to respect me more now I got promoted?
Nope.
But I'm sure he's really excited
to show us his new G-Wagon.
It's sick, dude.
Yeah.
It's matte black, just like Justin Bieber's.
I'm 41.
Mom, I can't find my books.
Sarah, go put your shoes on.
Jonah. Jonah.
We're not playing a game right now, okay?
Jonah, give me this foot. This foot, right in there.
Not banana feet. Come on.
- Right here. - I still can't find it!
Sarah, look in my bedroom! You left it in my bed!
Oh, my... Just hold still.
- Hold still. Hold still! - Ow!
This is not our lot.
- What? - Go to the other parking lot.
No, no, no, honey, the other lot is full.
We have to park here today, okay?
- Other lot. - Not again.
Other lot. Other lot.
- Other lot. Other lot. - Jonah, I have to meet with Mrs. Bell.
- Other lot! Other lot! - Like, three minutes ago.
- Jonah, don't! - Other lot! - Let's just park here, okay?
- Other lot! - Jonah, please?
- Other lot! Other lot! - I have to meet with Mrs. Bell
- No, no, no! - three minutes ago!
- No, no, no! No, no, no! - Let's just park here!
- Mom, make him stop! - Other lot, Mama!
- Other lot! - You know how he gets with his routine.
- Other lot! - He doesn't like it when we do things diff...
Oh, my God! Jesus Christ!
The other lot is full! Let's just park here.
- No! No! - Jonah!
You happy now?
Come on.
Hi.
Hi, Laurie.
Sorry I'm so late.
Regent was backed up for blocks.
- Hi, Marlo. - Hi.
Oh. Are you on maternity leave yet?
You look like you're about to pop.
- Yeah, Friday was my last day. - Wow.
- Such a blessing. - Yes.
Well, I hate to sound like a broken record,
but I need to talk to you about Jonah.
Miss Marvish tells me that he is still having
a really tough time in class, and now we're starting
to get worried about his emotional development.
Well, kindergarten is a tough transition.
But... it's April.
That's true, yeah.
And he's about to have a really big disruption
in his life, too.
- The... Oh, yes. Yeah. - Yeah.
- No, I have thought about all of that.
Right, and look, Jonah's a sweetheart.
We love him.
But as you know, he's an... out-of-the-box kid.
He's... quirky.
And there are 24 other children in the class,
and it's not fair to them that Jonah needs
so much of the teacher's time.
- No. It's not fair. You should know, - Yeah.
we've been working through the meltdowns at home.
- Good. - He's doing much better.
And doing this new therapy on him that...
We think that Jonah could benefit from a one-to-one aide.
That's a teacher that's there just for him,
who shadows him during the day,
and gives him all the extra support he requires.
- That's amazing. - Yeah.
And so that aide is here on staff?
No, we don't provide aides.
So I have to go out and get aides all by myself?
Yes, you'd need to hire this person.
I'm paying for aides?
One aide. He just needs one aide.
Okay. I'll figure that out.
Anyway, we don't normally make these kind of accommodations
for students at Saint V's, but we love your family, so...
- Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. - You're welcome.
- This is gonna be great. - Yeah.
- Have a great day, okay?
- Thank you. You, too. - You're welcome.
- All right, bye-bye. - Bye.
Next.
Can I, um...
All right, let me just get a decaf skim latte.
Uh, you know there are
trace amounts of caffeine even in decaf, right?
Huh?
Oh, this. Yeah.
Just so you know.
You still want it?
Yeah.
And a muffin.
♪ Where have all my friends gone? ♪
♪ They've all disappeared ♪
♪ Turned around maybe one day... ♪
Marlo?
Vy?
Oh.
Hey.
What are you doing out here?
Um... I'm in town for a friend's memorial.
- Yeah, her dad passed away. - Oh, I'm sorry.
No, don't be. He's a dick.
What are you doing here? You live here now?
Yeah.
Two kids.
Nothing's changed.
Yeah.
Well, I should go, I should get this coffee home
before it gets as cold and black as my womb.
You still got my number?
I have a old number.
Yeah, it's the same one.
I'm still on Bushwick.
You still live at the loft?
Yeah. You should call me sometime.
- Yeah. - Okay?
Hey, are you guys excited to see your cousins?
- Yeah. - Is the dog gonna be out?
Jonah, buddy.
That dog can't hurt you... he's, like, two pounds.
What is that dog's name again?
Prosecco.
I wanna kill myself.
What?
No, Mommy's joking, honey, like a clown.
Honk, honk.
You all right?
Is that Uncle Craig's new car?
Yeah, that's a G-Wagon.
- Can we get one? - Nope.
You wouldn't want one. They catch fire all the time.
Mommy's joking again.
Yeah, that's why it's all black like that.
- Probably caught fire already. - You're lying.
Don't get too close.
Hey!
- Hey! - Sarah, I'm gonna steal those boots
right off your feet... they're so cute.
- Hey, Elyse. - Hey.
Hi, guys. We made an obstacle course
in the playroom if you want to come check it out.
This is Shasta, our nanny.
- Hi. - We've got karaoke.
Yeah. We got a karaoke machine.
- Cool! - All right.
Shasta's so awesome.
She has a master's degree in early childhood education.
I feel like she should be telling me what to do.
Marlo, you're glowing.
God, really? 'Cause I feel like an abandoned trash barge.
Huh?
Oh. In the '80s, there was this giant boat
filled with garbage that just...
drifted up and down the East Coast... for weeks.
They couldn't figure out where to dump it,
so eventually, they just docked the boat in Brooklyn,
burned all that trash.
The ninth month is tough.
- I remember I could barely make it to the gym. - Yes!
- Let me take this. - Yes! The Moreaus have arrived.
It's gonna be a great night.
- Drew, how are you, buddy? - Craig. How's it going?
Great to see you. Marlo.
Yeah, I'm a personal hug buffer now.
- Well, yeah, just what you've always wanted. - Yeah.
It's actually kind of true.
When is your due date again?
- Monday. - Jesus, don't have it here.
She could have it in the ofuro.
We just got this Japanese soaking tub.
- Craig's boss gave it to us. - Wow.
My boss once gave me the flu.
So, what are we thinking, it's a boy or a girl?
- What's happening here? - You know, I feel
- like it's definitely a boy. - Marlo didn't want
to find out this time, but I kind of wish we did.
Mid-40s, who needs the surprise, right?
Well, you're gonna find out any day now, so...
exciting.
Yep.
Whoa. Where... where are the kids sitting?
Oh, they're with Shasta.
They have their own little kid-friendly spread.
Truffle mac and cheese, something green.
Yeah, lucky little bastards.
Wow, we can actually have a conversation.
I know, right?
Oh.
Siri, play hip-hop.
Yeah.
Do you guys have any chicken nuggets?
He only eats chicken nuggets.
Chicken nuggets are full of growth hormones.
Do you know what they do to the chickens
- at factory farms? - What?
They slice off their beaks with a hot blade
- so the chickens can't peck each other. - Mm.
So, Drew, how's work going?
I'm curious about the, um...
Last time we were talking about, um...
Yeah, nobody... nobody gets what I do.
I, uh, I audit organizational paths
and, uh, and systems for workers
in a proto-corporate structure.
- Mm. - Oh, yeah. 'Course.
That's fun.
Um, it's... I hit a snag lately,
so it's kind of, uh, compelling right now, but...
You're swamped, on a big project.
Well, that and... three.
You know, the, uh, that thing in your stomach.
Oh.
- Yeah, three kids. - Mm.
- Crazy. - Yep.
You're gonna love it. We love having three.
And the third kid is always the easiest. Right?
- Oh, yeah. - Fred is so chill.
You can ignore him. It's fine.
Chill would be nice.
Yeah, you guys really have your hands full with Jonah.
Um, not in a bad way.
I mean, he's such a great kid.
He's quirky.
His school wants us to get him an aide,
'cause I guess the teachers can't handle him.
Oh, that's awesome.
Um, that they're, you know, recognizing his needs.
- Yeah, no, they're... - Yeah.
they're all over it.
Marlo, remind me after dinner
I want to show you something cool.
I've already seen the G-Wagon.
It's not the G-Wagon.
It's very cool. You're gonna like it.
Do you like it?
When do the birds start singing?
Okay, you know, it was inspired by one
- of the most beautiful places I've ever been. - Epcot?
Tahiti.
Sit down, asshole. I'll make you a drink.
So, um, I want to talk to you.
I have an idea for a special baby gift this time around.
- Ooh, is it money? - No.
I don't mind money.
I'm not above that. You know that, right?
Yeah. Do you know what a night nanny is?
- Oh. - Okay, you know what, everybody does it.
At least everyone we know does it.
It's just like a regular nanny, except they come at night.
You know, they stay over for a few weeks, or a month,
and they take care of the baby at night,
so Mom and Dad can get some sleep. It's no big deal.
What? Does she breastfeed?
No, she doesn't breastfeed your ba...
This is not feudal China.
No. She wakes you up,
so you... can, you know,
do the...
- Don't do that. - breastfeeding,
and then you pass off the baby,
and go to sleep when you're done.
Everybody wins.
I don't want a stranger in my house
bonding with my newborn every night.
That's like a Lifetime movie,
where the nanny tries to kill the family
and the mom survives and she has to walk
- with a cane at the end. - Right.
Well, we had a night nanny.
I don't remember that.
The reason you don't remember it is because...
she only came at night.
They're like ninjas... they sneak in and out.
You barely even know they're there.
Elyse said she was great.
Craig, please tell me
you didn't hire me one of those people.
Oh, my God, you did.
Okay, Marlo...
you have a lot going on.
I know this kid wasn't... planned.
And yes, yes, it's the greatest thing
that's ever happened... he's a miracle straight from Heaven,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
But...
I don't want what happened last time.
Don't do that.
- Hey. I love you. - No, seriously,
- you're being an asshole. Stop. - Drew needs to focus
on his protostructures, and you need to be happy...
especially for Jonah.
I-I see the way you're looking at me.
I know you think this is just some...
bougie thing that only rich assholes do.
And maybe it is, okay? Maybe.
But don't forget, I wasn't always a rich asshole.
I grew up in that same shitty house as you did,
- same shitty parents, - Oh, my...
same shit-brown Buick,
and I'm telling you, Marlo...
Yes.
...get over yourself.
Call her.
She comes highly recommended.
You can't just outsource your entire life.
Sounds pretty ideal to me.
You don't have to wake up five times a night or whatever.
You don't even wake up anyway.
Well, I don't have boobs.
Not yet.
It's not like I could do anything.
It's fine.
It is.
You have a big year.
You know, I've got a couple of trips coming up.
You-you think you're gonna be okay?
- Honey? - Hmm? What?
Where'd you go?
Did you say something?
Hi, uh, we're here to have this baby.
You're gonna feel a little bit of freezing, okay?
This will be a little pinch.
Three, two, one, pinch.
It's going to go nice and numb in a sec.
Good work.
Oh, you're great.
...the collection that we're going to see here today.
Well, tonight's theme is Mermaid Cove,
so we're celebrating the beauty of mermaids
with all of our models.
We have some really long...
Breathe it out. Breathe it out.
- Breathe it out. - And go, go, go, go, go, go.
There you go.
It's a girl. It's a girl.
It's a girl.
Oh, you've got a girl.
You okay?
Hi, sweetheart. Oh.
Hi.
Okay.
Oh, she's so sweet.
Yeah.
Marlo, she's your mini.
Look at those lips.
I wish we could stay.
We have to go to Emmy's school talent show.
Oh, what's her talent?
Pilates.
Do you mind putting her back in the bassinet for me?
- Oh, sure. - Thanks.
All right, you, take it easy, okay?
Tell Dad congrats when he wakes up.
Yep.
- Bye. - Bye.
So, did you end up talking
to her about the night nanny?
I did. She said she could never let a stranger
take care of her baby.
What? So she's judging our choices now.
I just want my sister back.
I feel like, these last few years,
somebody snuffed a match.
Well, maybe you should call Drew
and see if he can convince her.
Drew hates me.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, did you hear it?
That's not enough.
I peed.
Come on, why is it so important?
If you don't pee soon,
we'll have to put the catheter back in.
I peed. Why don't you believe me?
It's in there, in the bowl.
Do a test or something.
You have to show me that you can do a pee.
How much fucking pee do you need?!
Do you want me to spray it all over the bathroom?
Do you want a fucking golden shower?
You need to rest, Mommy.
I have to fucking pee.
♪ Won't you walk me through ♪
♪ The Tiergarten? ♪
♪ Won't you walk me through ♪
♪ It all, darling? ♪
♪ Doesn't matter if ♪
♪ It is raining ♪
♪ Won't you walk me ♪
♪ Through it all? ♪
♪ Even if the sun ♪
♪ It is blazing ♪
♪ Even if the sun ♪
♪ It is blazing ♪
♪ All the elements ♪
♪ We must conquer ♪
♪ To get to the other side of town ♪
♪ I have suffered shipwreck ♪
♪ Against your dark brown eyes ♪
♪ I have run aground ♪
♪ Against your broken-down smiles ♪
♪ Believe me when I tell you ♪
♪ I have no place to go ♪
♪ But to go where the wild flowers grow... ♪
Aren't you the most precious little...?
♪ And the stone gardens bloom ♪
♪ Won't you walk me through ♪
♪ The Tiergarten? ♪
Where are my legs? What's going on?
This is crazy, we're...
Mermaids!
♪ It all, darling? ♪
No, no, no!
Okay, let go, I'm late.
Jonah, I'm late.
Hey.
- Hi. - Thanks, Dallas.
Oh, so we have a little visitor today, huh?
Yeah, she's sleeping.
Okay.
So, we're coming up on the end of the kindergarten year,
and I just wanted to talk to you about Mr. Jonah.
Look, we're, um, getting the aide, the one aide.
Just got to figure out how we're gonna pay for it.
Well, when you guys applied,
we did express some concern about whether
or not Saint Vitus was the right fit for Jonah,
but we love your family and we have such a great relationship
- with your brother and his wife. - I understand.
- What? - I get it, Laurie,
I'm only here because of my brother.
No, that's not true, actually.
They're big donors, they called in a favor.
Yeah, okay.
We think Jonah might be better served at a different school.
You're expelling him?
No, Marlo, expulsion is a punishment.
We like to think of this as a dismissal.
There are places
that are better suited to kids like Jonah.
What does that mean, "kids like Jonah"?
Well, he's quirky
- and he needs... - Oh, my God,
what is this "quirky" thing
everybody keeps saying? It's so stupid.
What does it even mean?
Do I have a kid or a fucking ukulele?
Just say what you mean.
You think Jonah is retarded.
- No. - Yes, and he's ruining it
for everybody in his class who's reading, like,
"The Iliad" or whatever the fuck they read!
I'm sorry about my retarded son, Laurie.
Oh, I'm sorry, quirky, 'cause he's a fucking pocket watch.
- Fuck this! - No, no, no.
- Jonah is bright, he's great. - Oh, my God.
- It's just not the right fit, Marlo. - Just say what you mean.
- You hate my kid! - What?!
- You hate us! - We don't hate you.
- We don't hate your kid. - Oh, my God.
It's just not the right fit.
Dallas, would you please walk her out?
Don't fucking touch me, Dallas.
- I wasn't. - Look, I... no, you need to calm down.
I'm not letting you leave like this.
I leave like this every day.
Every day.
You just don't see it. This is the real me
when I'm not licking your asshole.
Surprise!
Oh!
She's fine.
Fuck!
Just take it.
Please, please, just take it.
Hey, guys.
Hi, Daddy!
- Hi. - Hi.
Ooh.
Oh, give me a smile.
You got a smile for Daddy?
Yeah, that's Daddy's smile.
Hey, frozen pizza, awesome.
Um...
I thought we weren't doing screen time.
I mean, uh, it's fine by me, it's-it's your rule.
Listen, I decided to call that night nanny.
You did?
- Oh. - Yeah, why?
Uh, no, I mean, uh, it's...
You know, Craig's paying for it.
He's probably going to lord that over us.
No, you're right, I'll just cancel it.
You do your thing.
I'll just be down here and make another pot of coffee,
- never sleep at all. - No.
I-I-I didn't mean that, I just...
Are you okay?
Hey, guys, is Mommy okay?
I don't know.
She's coming at 10:30.
Jonah.
Mom, what's wrong with your body?
So, is that what you're into?
You're into a little, uh...
I love spanking women
during the act of, you know, making love.
I guess a little spanking isn't making love? I don't know.
You've got a great ass.
Oh, God.
Hello.
I'm Tully.
You must be Marlo.
Yes.
May I come in?
Yeah.
Oh.
Who's this?
Oh, you mean the baby?
Yeah, what's her name?
Her name is Mia.
Mia.
Yeah, it was my Mom's name.
I was always gonna use it,
but then it became, like, really popular and...
There's two Mias in my son's class.
Who cares?
What?
Who cares if it's popular?
It's a beautiful name.
I'm sorry, how old are you?
I didn't... I don't mean... I just didn't expect...
No, I, I get it a lot.
Um, I'm older than I look.
Oh, I don't... um...
What?
How does this normally work?
Well, how would you like it to work?
Uh, I don't know.
Okay.
I'm here to take care of you.
I thought you were taking care of the baby.
Yeah, but you pretty much are the baby.
I mean, even though this one's
been earth-side for three weeks,
her DNA is still inside of you.
Right, yeah.
No, actually her cells will hang around
in your bloodstream for years,
and though Mia here will be her own person someday,
right now she's still very much an extension of you.
She knows your smell, your voice, your heartbeat.
And you know her better than anyone.
I mean, you built her from the toes up.
And so to bed.
What?
Samuel Pepys.
He had a diary during the English Restoration.
Right, Samuel Pepys.
Yeah.
I'll settle in down here with Mia.
You go upstairs and get some rest.
Should I show you how to do the...?
No, we got a place to sleep, we got diapers.
We're good.
Right?
Yes.
Okay.
I'll come wake you up when she's ready to nurse.
Oh, okay.
Night.
What the...?
Hey.
The night nanny's downstairs.
Oh, what's she like?
Weird.
What?
Weird.
Are we just gonna leave her down there with Mia?
Yeah, I guess.
Okay.
Jonah, stop.
Jonah! Stop it!
Jonah, stop!
Oh, my God.
Mommy.
- Tully. - What?
Hi. Shh.
- Yeah, easy, easy. - Hi.
She's ready for you.
- Okay. Mm-hmm. - Good?
May I?
Okay.
- Good? - Yeah.
Why is the house so clean?
So, wait,
she was in our bedroom last night?
Yeah.
She brought Mia over to nurse
and then she just sat in the shadows
waiting for me to finish.
Hmm, creepy.
How did I not wake up?
God, I can't imagine.
And then she went downstairs
and chiseled eight years of filth off the floors.
I know.
- Maybe she's nocturnal. - Huh.
Yeah, like Sarah's hamster.
You remember that thing?
God.
The wheel all night long.
- She ate her own young. - Hey.
Mom, I need water.
- The game hasn't started yet. - So? I'm thirsty.
Anyway, it was like she took over.
She just, she knew exactly what to do.
So, like me in bed.
No, she makes eye contact.
So, how do you feel?
Honestly?
I can't remember the last time I slept like that.
I mean...
it's like I can see color again.
Can we keep her?
She's not a dog.
...is trying to figure out
what my clients really need.
One thing about Billie is this.
She just wants what we all want
which is companionship and love.
And I think she's into a man's man.
She likes a guy
that's not afraid to get dirty.
- Hi. - Hey.
Good evening.
Thank you for cleaning the house the other day.
You really...
you really didn't have to do that.
No, I enjoyed it.
I'm like Saudi Arabia... I have an energy surplus.
Oh, all right.
- What's this? - Oh, God.
I'm sorry. That, um...
No, what is it?
It's, um...
it's a reality TV show called Gigolos.
What's it about?
Gigolos.
Who's he?
That's Brace.
He's the oldest of the gigolos.
And women pay to sleep with him?
Well, no. He aged out,
so they gave him a position in upper management and...
Oh.
You know what, I am going to
turn this off.
No, no, no, don't, please. You're enjoying it.
Oh, no, I was just, it was on TV.
Marlo...
you can't be self-conscious of me.
This won't work if you are.
I'm just not used to people doing things for me.
That's all.
Okay. Just pretend I'm Brace.
Uh, well, you're more of an Ash.
He's this Tantric Indian gigolo.
Practices, uh, meditation and speaks Japanese.
Kon'nichiwa.
Okay, I'm gonna go upstairs.
Okay.
- Watch a movie with Drew. - Okay.
- Have fun.
Yeah.
Oh, I can put on headphones
if you guys want to make some noise.
Oh, no, we don't...
I'm...
- We're good. - Okay.
Hey, kiss good night.
She'll be different in the morning.
That's sweet.
No. She will. She'll grow a little overnight.
So will we.
Hey, baby, say good night to Mommy?
- Good night. - Good night.
Hi.
Oh... oh, God.
She's got a strong latch.
Yeah, she's a barnacle.
Okay, so if she's a barnacle,
are you a boat or are you a whale?
I don't know.
Well, barnacles hurt boats, but they don't hurt whales.
- Oh. - If a barnacle latches onto a whale, it's harmless.
It's just this little obligate parasite
doing its thing.
Does she look like your other kids?
Yeah.
She looks a lot like my daughter, Sarah.
What's Sarah like?
She's eight.
She's getting at this age
where she's starting to be really hard on herself.
It makes me nervous 'cause it doesn't get any easier
for girls, you know?
No, it doesn't.
What about Jonah?
Jonah's great.
I mean, he's exhausting.
We don't really know what his deal is.
We've seen three different doctors
and all they can really tell us is that he's atypical.
He's got all these strange behaviors and anxieties.
We...
we brush him like...
I brush his body at night, like a horse.
Why?
I don't know, his therapist told us
it's supposed to reduce his sensitivities
to everyday things.
Oh.
We can't afford the therapist anymore,
so I just watched these YouTube videos
and figured out how to do it.
It's called Wilbarger's Brush Protocol.
Protocol.
Sounds official.
Officially shitty.
Well, you seem like a great mom.
Great moms organize class parties and casino night.
They bake cupcakes that look like Minions.
All the things I'm just too tired to do.
Honestly, even getting dressed just feels exhausting.
I open my closet
and I just think, didn't I just do this?
Yeah, but that's the downside of living on a planet
with a short solar day.
Although Jupiter is even shorter.
You're like a book of fun facts for unpopular fourth graders.
What do you do?
- Human resources with a company that makes protein bars. - Oh.
My English lit degree really paid off.
Okay.
Uh, so, what did you want to do?
I don't... I mean, if I had a dream that didn't come true,
I could at least be pissed off at the world.
Instead I'm just pissed off at myself.
You're empty.
Yeah.
No, you're empty on this side.
She's done.
- Oh. - Here, I'll take her.
Okay.
Hi, little bear.
Hi, little doll.
Marlo?
Hmm?
I'm here to help you with everything,
not just Mia.
You can't fix the parts without treating the whole.
Yeah, no one's treated my whole
in a really long time.
Oh.
My baby.
Are we going to have a good day today?
Meow.
Ooh, are you a little kitten?
Meow.
What the...?
Hi.
Is it okay if we bring in treats?
They're nut-free.
My mommy made them.
I want cupcakes.
I am gonna steal this one.
- No! - Yes.
- Hey, Mia. Mia. - I want one.
- Okay. - I want one.
Hi.
- Oh. - I'm here to apologize for the other day.
I brought an olive branch of sorts.
Actually, it's a cupcake,
but who wants an olive branch, right?
Sorry, Dallas, I only brought one.
And, look,
about the Jonah thing, I-I get it.
You know, sometimes it just doesn't... it's not a fit.
You know, you'll find the right place.
Yeah.
We will.
Chapter three of I Hate Rules!
"Katie Kazoo decides
there should be no more rules at school."
- So, what are the consequences? - I don't know.
What about George? He has ten desserts.
What happens then?
Come on, guys. Dinner.
Oh, my God.
Are you shocked that I can roast a chicken?
- I am, actually. - It's so easy.
You just take a bunch of lemon
and you shove it into the cavity,
a little salt and pepper
- and you're good to go. - Hmm.
Is the cavity the butt?
Honey, that's gross. It's not the butt.
What is it?
It's just the gaping hole
where the chicken's organs used to be.
Hand me the bread.
- That's worse than a butt. - I know, Sarah.
It's murder.
Ah, there she is.
Hey.
Where's Mia?
How was your day?
Good.
Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm starving.
So, what do you do during the day?
The same thing I do every day,
try to take over the world.
Oh, God.
No, I'm just pretty much napping mostly.
Wow. God, that's nice.
Hi.
Hi, little bear.
Hey, thanks for those cupcakes.
- No problem. - Oh...
All right, I will be in my quarters.
Night-night.
Hi, little bear.
Oh, you're starting to look like Ma.
And one day he packed his bags and left.
Yeah.
I have an early flight.
Portland?
Phoenix.
A server farm.
They got me on a rinky-dink airline
with no seat assignments,
so I just want to get there early.
Um...
- Are you guys gonna be good? - Mm-hmm.
Is she okay?
Yeah.
- Um... - Oh...
So how are you feeling?
I feel fine.
- Yeah. - Hmm.
Okay, good.
- Okay. - Good.
All right.
Are you excited about the new school?
- I'm scared. - That's okay.
I'm a grown-up, and even I find new things scary all the time.
- Like your new baby? - I'm not scared of the baby.
What's going on?
I have to pee.
Oh, God.
Okay, come. Quick, quick, quick.
Are you sure nobody's gonna flush?
Nobody's in there.
Nobody's gonna flush, I promise.
I don't want it to be loud.
Oh, my God. Jonah, nobody's in there!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was automatic!
Jonah! Jonah!
Jonah, stop!
Jonah. Jonah, stop.
The world is full of loud toilets.
The world is a loud toilet. Please, shh.
- Hey. - Hi.
What's going on, little fella?
Sorry.
He just gets freaked out by certain noises.
I'm sorry, we're... We'll go.
No, no, you don't have to go.
Hey.
How about you and me hang out and be trees for a bit?
Is that okay?
Hmm?
Okay.
Can you bring your foot up like this?
You want to give me some branches?
That's good stuff.
Big breath in.
Now you blow out through the leaves.
That's better, right?
You don't have to apologize.
You don't have to leave,
'cause you didn't do anything wrong.
Oh, come on.
Have fun in class.
♪ You only live twice ♪
♪ Or so it seems ♪
♪ One life for yourself ♪
♪ And one for your dreams ♪
♪ You drift through the years ♪
♪ And life seems tame ♪
♪ Till one dream appears ♪
♪ And love is its name ♪
♪ And love is a stranger ♪
♪ Who'll beckon you on ♪
♪ Don't think of the danger ♪
♪ Or the stranger is gone ♪
♪ Live twice. ♪
- Mom? - Hmm?
Why do you wear makeup now?
I guess I just want to look nice sometimes.
Why? You don't like it?
I like it. You just look different.
Like Draculaura.
Which one is Draculaura again?
She's Dracula's daughter from Monster High.
Hmm. Monster High.
That's high school for monsters, right?
Yeah.
What's Draculaura's story again?
She's 1,600 years old.
Mm. Sounds about right.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
What?
Oh, it's milk.
I make milk.
Is this sangria?
Yeah.
Yeah, it always reminds me of college.
You see, you are a homemaker.
- Because I made sangria? - Mm-hmm.
You know they make sangria in prison toilets, right?
I know. They call it pruno.
Shall we?
Okay.
No shit. I knew a guy who had one of these once.
- He filled it with water. - Oh.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Does Drew ever ask about me?
Yeah. I mean, he finds the whole thing a little weird.
Yeah.
Does he like being a dad?
Sure.
The way dads do.
I mean, he works really hard and then he comes home.
He does the homework, the reading logs, all that.
We make lunches together, and then he goes upstairs,
puts on a headset, kills zombies and passes out.
And you guys don't ever...?
- Have sex? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, not in months.
I mean, it's like we both want dinner,
we just can't pick a restaurant or even decide if we're hungry.
Oh. Well, why don't you guys just talk about it?
Are you in a relationship?
Yeah. I'm in several.
I used to be like that.
Yeah.
I rode every horse on the carousel until I met Drew.
And... which horse was Drew?
Drew was the bench.
But you love him.
- Yeah. - Oh.
Definitely.
I know I picked the right person.
So why don't you guys have sex?
I hold a baby all day,
and it's me and her and it's primal.
We're like two gorillas at the zoo.
And then nighttime rolls around and I'm supposed to just
switch gears like...
hello, all sexy now.
Look at my boobs. They're all sexual.
It's...
I get that.
Of course you do.
I like Drew.
- No. - I do.
I mean, what I know about him.
I don't want my kids to grow up like I did.
I had three stepmothers.
It was...
- It was crazy. - Okay.
So then we need to fix this.
Because Drew needs his battery charged.
- His battery? - His battery.
What kind of... stuff is he into?
I-I checked his browser history once,
and it was pretty basic stuff.
Like?
What?
What? Tell me. I have to know.
What is it?
He'd kill me.
Is it weird? Is it weird?
No, it's... no.
He just, when he was in high school,
he worked at this diner, and he was washing dishes,
and-and all the waitresses would wear
- those little outfits with the hat and... - Yeah.
He's just always had a fantasy about that ever since.
Oh, that's it?
- Yeah. - Oh, okay, good.
- What? - I don't know.
I thought it was something really fucking sinister.
Us? No.
I actually bought one of the little uniforms
a while back, thinking, you know,
I'd put it on and surprise him.
- Uh-huh? - And I just never got around to it.
Well, why?
I just didn't.
And now my...
legs have veins, my tits have veins, my veins have veins.
I don't know, my body looks like a relief map
for a war-torn country.
Do you still have the uniform?
Yeah.
Where is it?
This is amazing.
Let me see.
Patty melt?
Yeah. No.
You're keeping that.
- Wow. - Oh, my gosh.
You have had zero kids.
Should I leave it on when we go upstairs?
Upstairs?
Uh-huh.
- You're joking. - Mm-mm.
Wait.
Come on.
Oh, wait. Is this a '50s diner?
I want to be period accurate.
No, it's just a regular diner.
Okay. And am I sassy?
No, just be like a friendly waitress
who's nice and doesn't talk too much.
- Okay. - Okay.
Hi there.
Hey.
I don't believe we've met.
Is it... Marlo...
If you're not familiar with our menu,
I recommend the egg cream.
What's going on?
It's okay, Drew. Just go with it.
We also have a wonderful selection of pastries,
and I just put on a hot pot of coffee.
Okay.
I'll tell you what he likes.
Thank you.
I'm just a trainee.
- Hi, Elmo. - Oh, hi, Zoe.
You want to talk to a friend?
Um...
Are we gonna talk about last night?
We don't have to.
- Okay. - Okay.
It was pretty great.
Yeah?
Yeah. You-you kidding me?
- Hey, buddy. - Hey, Jo-Jo.
I had a dream about a camel.
You did? Were you in the desert?
No, I was in my house.
That's silly. Hey, you want some pancakes?
- Yes. - All right.
Should we try and make Mickey Mouse?
The last time we tried, he only had one ear.
Today is a two-ear day.
I can feel it.
♪ It's your birthday tonight ♪
♪ So back it up ♪
♪ And let's go for a ride ♪
♪ Get crazy tonight ♪
♪ So back it up... ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I threw a wish in the well ♪
♪ Don't ask me, I'll never tell ♪
♪ I looked at you as it fell ♪
♪ And now you're in my way ♪
♪ I trade my soul for a wish ♪
♪ Pennies and dimes for a kiss ♪
♪ I wasn't looking for this ♪
- ♪ But now you're in my way ♪ - Uh-oh.
♪ Your stare was holding ♪
♪ Ripped jeans, skin was showing ♪
♪ Hot night, wind was blowing ♪
♪ Where do you think you're going, baby? ♪
♪ Hey, I just met you ♪
♪ And this is crazy ♪
♪ But here's my number ♪
♪ So call me maybe ♪
♪ And all the other boys ♪
♪ Try to chase me ♪
♪ But here's my number ♪
♪ So call me maybe... ♪
Hey, you guys were right. We should've listened.
- About what? - The night nanny.
Mm. You called her.
Dude, it's a game changer.
I didn't think Marlo was gonna come around.
Yeah.
She seems really... awake.
Yeah, it's actually kind of weird.
Stevie Nicks! Stevie!
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Hey, I just met you ♪
♪ And this is crazy ♪
♪ But here's my number ♪
♪ So call me maybe ♪
♪ It's hard to look right ♪
♪ At you, baby ♪
♪ But here's my number ♪
♪ So call me maybe ♪
♪ Hey, I just met you ♪
♪ This is crazy... ♪
It's too dark.
No, lighter. Lighter, lighter.
- Lighter, lighter. - No, it's good enough.
- Lighter. - Okay, can you stop?
Lighter. Lighter.
Darker, darker.
- Lighter. Lighter. - Dark. Dark.
- Lighter. Lighter. - Dark.
Perfect.
- Hey. - Hey. Sorry I'm late.
It won't happen again, I promise.
It's fine.
Hey, what's wrong?
Nothing, I'm just in sort of a fucked-up relationship.
Which one?
My roommate.
Yeah. She's, uh... she's a troublemaker.
Oh, historically, those have been my favorite people.
She just freaks out every time I bring a guy home.
Is she religious or something?
Spends a lot of time kneeling in front of a toilet.
Can you get your own place?
We're kind of... enmeshed.
Just don't make it personal.
Why don't you just tell her you want a change of scenery?
Why? Why do I have to lie to her?
Why can't I just be honest
and say that we're better off without each other?
Because you'll hurt her.
And if you hurt her, you'll regret it.
Girls don't heal.
Girls heal.
No, we don't.
We might look like we're all better,
but if you look close, we're covered in concealer.
Fuck.
Can we go out?
- Like in the backyard? Yeah. - No, no, no.
Like out out, to the city.
New York?
Yeah. Let's get a drink.
Who's gonna look after Mia?
Uh, she still has a father, doesn't she?
Look, Mia's been sleeping through the night
for the past week.
Drew won't even realize that we're gone.
Tully, take the night off.
Seriously. I-I am gonna be fine.
Okay, Marlo, you need to take the night off.
You can't be a good mother if you don't practice self-care.
We deserve this.
How does getting shit-wrecked in Manhattan
qualify as self-care?
You're right.
We'll go to Brooklyn.
♪ I'm leaving you tonight... ♪
I still think we should have Ubered it.
I told you, I'll be the chauffeur.
So we'll have a couple of drinks
and then I'll drive us home.
Why are you so nice to me?
You trusted me with Mia's life.
That's real. That means something.
Hmm, I guess so.
And I trusted you with mine.
How's that?
You could have murdered me.
Why would I murder you?
Admit it, you've thought about it.
That is a fucked up thing to joke about.
It is!
Oh, my God.
I need bourbon.
Bourbon's my drink.
♪ I come home in the morning light... ♪
♪ If you fall, I will catch you ♪
♪ I'll be wait... ♪
♪ Do I wanna go out with a... ♪
♪ All through the... ♪
♪ I'm searching... ♪
This is it.
This... this is my old neighborhood.
God, I lived here for nine years.
Whoa, your molecules are everywhere.
It used to not be this nice, though.
Look, that's a bakery for dogs.
What'd it used to be?
A bakery for humans.
- Cool. - I know.
People ate flour back then.
Hi. Sorry.
Two Maker's, neat.
Sure. Want water with that?
No, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Okay.
Hmm.
God.
I remember when guys used to look at me like that.
He was looking at you.
Nobody wants to fuck mommy, okay?
There is an entire genre of porn
dedicated to exactly that.
So, let's say you take a wooden ship
and you replace one plank every year.
Well, eventually the ship
will be made up of entirely new planks.
There'll be nothing left of the original ship.
So, is it still the same ship or is it a new ship?
New ship.
- Why? - It just is.
Nothing is the same. It's a new ship, baby.
Nouveau bateau.
Okay.
So, what about people?
Most of the cells in your body have divided and regenerated
since you were a baby.
Then I guess I'm just not me without my original parts.
Well, there's one part of us that actually can't regenerate.
What's that?
The hearing cells.
In your ears.
Yeah, they can't grow back.
♪ The twisted corpses twitch ♪
♪ The flesh crawls ♪
♪ Beam in the sunlight. ♪
Oh, no, this is, like,
- one of my favorite songs. - I know.
Mine, too. That's why I played it.
I used to listen to this with Violet all the time.
We used to live together here in Bushwick,
a long time ago.
But, like, this was our jam.
- You know? - Yeah.
Oh, I loved her.
I was... I was really in love with her.
I wanted...
- Oh, God. - What?
- Are you okay? - Fine.
I want to tell you something and I...
- No, I have to go first. - Whoa.
Really? It better be really good,
- 'cause I'm, like, laying my shit out here. - Yeah.
I have to leave.
Where?
Uh, I can't work for you anymore.
Sorry, I didn't want to tell you at the house.
Wait, you're quitting?
No, you can't quit.
I have to.
What, is it another family or something?
'Cause I just need you to stay
a little bit lo-longer, you know?
'Cause I need your help.
Please.
I can't.
Marlo.
Oh, Marlo.
Oh.
Where are you going?
- Let me drive you home. - You can't drive!
Yes, I'm fine.
- I promise. - No, let's just...
- let's leave the car here and take a cab. - No.
- Drew's gonna be angry. - Why are you doing this?
Why are you leaving?
Why?
I was just here to bridge a gap.
It's time for me to move on.
Right.
I bet you have big plans.
I mean, your 20s are great.
They are, but then your 30s come around the corner
like a garbage truck at 5:00 a.m.
Yeah.
What are you gonna do when that cute little butt of yours drops
and your feet grow a half a size
with each pregnancy, and this whole free spirit thing...
it stops being charming.
And it just starts to look ugly.
I'm not afraid of the future.
Oh, my God. You should be.
You're convinced that you're this failure,
but you actually made your biggest dream come true.
- Oh, my... what? - That sameness
that you despise.
That's your gift to them.
Waking up every day and doing the same things
for them over and over.
You... are boring. Your marriage is boring.
Your house is boring, but that's fucking incredible!
That's the big dream,
to grow up and be dull and constant,
and then raise your kids in that circle of safety.
I'm not safe. I'm scared!
Marlo!
Where are we going?!
To my old place!
You don't live there anymore!
What, there's a fucking lobby now?
And furniture?
- Let's go home. - No, no, no.
Violet still lives here.
She's gonna let us in.
And she's gonna like you a lot.
So, just get ready for that.
I wish I could
let you stay and go up, but...
- there's no there anymore. - No, no, no, no, no.
It's right there. Look.
Come on. Let's go.
What?
Hey, this was your idea.
Why the fuck did you bring me out here then?
We just came too far out.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Whoa.
Hold on.
- Oh! - Oh, you're really full.
- Oh, I need Mia. Oh, fuck. - Okay.
Let's go home and I'll-I'll breastfeed her.
No, you're not gonna feed Mia.
You're hammered.
- Um... - I miss her.
- No, I'm... - You're gonna see her soon.
I know, but she won't be the same tomorrow.
You said that, and I don't want her to grow.
Yeah, you do.
Okay, come here, come here. Let me get you.
Okay.
We're gonna go in here.
Come on, let's-let's go.
Excuse me.
Oh, please, excuse me.
Okay.
Take it off.
Okay.
Oh, God.
- Uh-uh. - No?
Oh, my...
Oh, God.
One second! We're performing a miracle!
Okay.
Ah, fuck.
Okay. Maybe...
Oh...
Okay.
It's not working.
Okay, here.
Okay.
Just gonna... do a compress.
It'll be like a baby's mouth.
Let me sit down.
Here, come down.
Okay. Ready?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Now I'm just gonna squeeze, okay?
Just a little rubbing motion like always.
Okay.
Ow! Ow.
- Fuck. Ow! - It's okay. Just one more.
- Ow! - Okay, it's all right.
God.
All right.
Ow! Shit.
Okay.
There you go.
Oh, yeah. That feels good.
Oh, yeah.
- Stay awake. - Mm.
- I'm so tired. - I know, I know.
But I need you to stay with me.
Just...
let's have a conversation.
All we do is converse.
We're like the people from a Spanish textbook.
Maria and Julio, they never shut up.
Oh, what am I going to do without you?
You're gonna take care of yourself.
You're gonna... take a shower every day.
You're gonna... floss.
You know, you're gonna get a pedicure
every once in a while
even though you hate having your feet touched.
That's so corny.
Look, we're almost home.
You have a warm bed and you have three babies.
The creaky stair.
The world's weakest shower.
It's home.
Almost there.
Hi. You are Marlo's husband?
Yeah. Hi. I'm Drew.
I'm Dr. Smythe. I'm on the psychiatric staff here.
I'd like to talk to you about Marlo.
Can we step outside?
Okay.
Does she have a history of mental illness?
No.
Well...
okay, I mean I guess there was some pretty bad depression
when our son was born,
but, I-I mean...
i-i-it's completely different this time.
She's been great. She's been amazing.
And you know, uh, her-her brother
sprang for a night nanny,
so she's getting help, she's getting sleep, she's...
Actually, we think she's experiencing
extreme exhaustion and sleep deprivation.
Okay.
I mean, I...
I don't know how.
It seems like she's better than she's ever been.
I mean, I guess there's been a couple of moments
that have been ou-out of character.
Uh...
you know, I wouldn't ever expect her
to drive drunk like that, you know,
or leave the house without telling me
so no one's watching the kids.
Well, weren't you home?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right. I was home.
And what about the night nanny?
Uh, no.
I don't know where she was.
I actually don't really know that much about her.
Uh, do you mind if I get back? I kind of...
Yeah. Actually they just need you to finish up some paperwork
at this window right here and then we'll reconvene.
Okay. Thank you.
Uh, Marlo Moreau.
Yes.
Do you have your insurance card?
Yeah, I do.
Hey, Drew. How we doing?
Hey.
Um... I don't...
I don't know what the hell's going on.
And the patient's date of birth.
Uh, 6-7-77.
Can we see her?
- Are you still at the same address? - Yeah.
- She's, uh... she's still out. - What is her maiden name?
So I think... Uh, Tully.
T-U-L-L-Y.
All right. What-what can we do for you?
And the last four digits of her social.
Y-You're doing it. Um...
Hey.
You look a little beat up.
Well, you should see the river.
So, obviously, we can't see each other anymore.
I don't want you to go.
Well, I was really just here
to get you through the danger zone.
Yeah, and what am I supposed to do now?
Uh, you'll do what you have to do.
And then you'll do it again.
If I'm older, why are you so much wiser?
Because I'm 26.
All I have is time to think about stuff.
Such a shame you're gonna forget it all
after three pregnancies.
Not...
I just started learning Italian. Do I forget that?
You'll never get past "good evening."
- Mm... - Sorry.
Oh.
Thank you for keeping me alive.
The same.
Ciao.
Hi.
Marlo, I'm so sorry.
- Why are you sorry? - I'm just so sorry
- that I let this happen. - You didn't do anything.
No, I know, and that's the problem, okay?
I just... I...
I got overwhelmed with the kids and-and-and work,
and I just, I wasn't taking care of you, and I'm...
I-I didn't understand what was going on at night.
I thought you... I thought you were doing great.
I was doing great. I mean...
wasn't I great?
No, fuck that!
I don't... That's not...
I don't want that kind of great.
All right? I just... I just want you.
I just want you to be okay.
You know, if you want to...
run off or something, I...
I mean, I get that, I...
'cause I want to do that too, sometimes,
but I'm not gonna.
I love us.
I love us, too.
All right. You ready?
Okay. Come sit down.
Let's do your arms.
Okay.
You ready?
Mom, is this real?
What do you mean?
I'm not sure what it's supposed to do.
Well, honestly, I don't know.
Do you like it when we do it?
I like being by you.
I like being by you, too.
And it feels nice, I guess.
Well, maybe it's all that matters.
Maybe we don't need the brush.
Okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Subtitles by explosiveskull
♪ I never knew ♪
♪ That my life would be ♪
♪ Changing in you ♪
♪ The water was cold ♪
♪ Ice, ice cold ♪
♪ I was thinking of you ♪
♪ I can build you a boat ♪
♪ Or be the whale that guides you ♪
♪ I can be the wave ♪
♪ I can be the one that holds you ♪
♪ Holds you ♪
♪ I didn't know ♪
♪ That I needed to let you go ♪
♪ And I can keep your eyes ♪
♪ But it's better to say good-bye ♪
♪ So just float away ♪
♪ Into my arms and stay ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
♪ I can build you a boat ♪
♪ Or be the whale that guides you ♪
♪ I can be the wave ♪
♪ I can be the one that holds you ♪
♪ Holds you ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪
♪ Ooh... ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh... ooh ♪
♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm. ♪
Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org