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STELLA: Human touch.
Our first form of communication.
Safety, security, comfort,
all in the gentle caress of a finger.
Or the brush of lips on a soft cheek.
It connects us when we're happy,
bolsters us in times of fear,
excites us in times of passion
and love.
We need that touch from the one we love
almost as much as we need air to breathe.
But I never understood the importance of touch.
His touch.
Until I couldn't have it.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. This one's perfect.
(CHUCKLES)
Actually, though, the tan lines might be incredible.
Oh, my gosh. That doesn't even cover half your boob.
(CAMILA CHUCKLES)
This is actually cute.
that's actually really cute.
CAMILA: Let me see.
STELLA: I like that.
Oh, yeah, that's actually really pretty.
But I can't tell, is it too trampy
or not trampy enough?
Hello!
Are you with us?
Okay, guess what.
Taylor and Mason are meeting us
at the airport in the morning.
STELLA: What's that face?
CAMILA: Oh, my God!
I know. I know, I know!
CAMILA: Dude, Mason and Brooke broke up.
No, they didn't.
Oh, my God! Maya!
You're gonna do it!
(LAUGHS)
I wish I could be there to see that in person.
Just sucks that you planned it this year
and you don't even get to go.
Well,
you can just Photoshop me in with your fancy editing apps.
What are you talking about?
STELLA: You know what I'm talking about.
CAMILA: Why are you laughing? No, I don't.
The one where you get your pimples
and your little fake blush.
Shut up.
The lashes! Your lashes aren't that long in real life.
CAMILA: You guys are so annoying.
STELLA: Okay, come on. Thank you for the burgers.
Honestly, you guys are gonna have so much fun.
Okay?
Bye. I love you.
MAYA: I love you more.
I love you.
Miss you. Bye.
Mwah. Use protection.
Thanks, Mom.
(SIGHS)
(MUFFLED PA CHATTER)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(CAMCORDER BEEPS)
So, I am back in the hospital again
for another tune-up.
I need a few more rounds of antibiotics
to get over this little sore throat
that I've been...
Hi, Barb!
Sore throat?
Right, with a 102 fever?
I've had worse. Say hi!
Stella, get that thing out of my face.
You're looking good!
Stella will be right back after we get her all set up.
You heard the boss lady.
(BARB SIGHS)
I think this is her best work.
(DOOR OPENS)
Wow.
Wow. A lot's changed in the last six months.
Yep.
He's due in March.
Bend your arm, please.
What room's Poe in?
JULIE: 310.
(TYPING)
And open up.
All right.
You are all set.
I'll see you in a bit.
Thank you, Julie.
(CLEARING THROAT)
STELLA: Wow.
Are you sure this is okay?
I will still be monitoring you.
And, yes, it's okay.
What would I do without you?
You'd die.
(BARB CHUCKLES)
That's true.
So, Barb is letting me keep
my med cart in my room this time.
And she left me a bunch of pills,
some G-Juice.
Yum! That's the liquid nutrition
that goes straight to my stomach
through my G-tube. (CHUCKLES)
So, to any of you girls out there
wishing you could eat 5,000 calories a day
and not gain a pound,
I'll trade you any day.
Today I'll probably be reorganizing this thing
because as many of you know, I'm slightly anal.
By slightly anal, I mean clinically OCD.
So, peace.
Bye, guys.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(COUGHING)
(INHALING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS)
New baby upstairs.
Meet me in 15.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi, Cynthia.
Hi, Stella.
Hi.
WILL: I've already clocked the nurse's schedule,
so unless you plant your ass on that call button,
no one's gonna bother you for, like, an hour.
Hey. I gotta sleep on that bed, okay?
Wow. I mean, we're not animals.
Don't worry, it's not even gonna take that long.
JASON: Hey! Whatchu talkin' about, Willis?
(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)
Okay, bye.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(UPBEAT MUSIC ENDS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Saw you moving in your stuff.
It was, uh...
There was a lot of it.
Are you gonna be here for a while?
Hello?
Oh. (SIGHS)
You're deaf.
STELLA: Shouldn't you be procuring your room
for your guests?
You rent by the hour or what?
So, that was you lurking in the hall.
Mmm, I don't lurk, and you followed me here.
I wanted to introduce myself,
but that little attitude of yours...
Let me guess. You're the kind of guy
that ignores the rules
'cause it makes you feel in control. Am I right?
You're not wrong.
You think that's cute?
Do you think it's cute?
Letting your friends borrow your room for sex
is disgusting, so, no.
You don't like sex?
No, I like
sex. I like sex.
Sex is fine.
(SCOFFS)
Fine isn't exactly a ringing endorsement,
but I'll take some common ground where I can get it.
We have nothing in common.
Ooh, that's cold.
BARB: What... What are you doing up here?
Six feet at all times. You both know the rules.
Will, get back to your room.
There you go.
A little name for your psychological profile.
I'm Will Newman.
And you are?
Deaf.
BARB: Stella, thank you for putting your mask back on.
Stella.
You need to lighten up.
It's just life.
It'll be over before you know it.
(DOOR CLOSES)
STELLA: So, he's a CFer?
B. cepacia.
Part of a new drug trial for Cevaflomalin.
You contract that and you can...
You can kiss the possibility of new lungs goodbye.
There's no coming back from that bacteria.
Stay away.
(MONITORS BEEPING IN NICU)
Hello, world.
BARB: Okay, AffloVest for 30 more minutes,
then you're all set.
You need anything else before I hit the road?
Chocolate pudding for two?
Oh, so, what? I'm room service now?
(CHUCKLES) Gotta take advantage of the perks.
(LAUGHS)
(COUGHING)
BARB: All right.
Good girl, good girl.
All right, good. Right.
Right, sweetie.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye, Barb.
Okay.
(COUGHS)
STELLA: (ON VIDEO) Like all kids with cystic fibrosis,
I was born terminal,
which doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna die tomorrow,
but I could die tomorrow.
Anyone could die tomorrow.
I just have a little bit less time
than everyone else.
My lungs are at about 50% function right now.
So at this rate,
Dr. Hamid says that I'll need a transplant
by the time I'm a junior in high school.
That'll be fun. (CHUCKLES)
Hi, guys! Shh!
We're at the NICU
because I'm obsessed with babies.
And Barb...
The beautiful Barb is giving me permission
to come in here by myself now.
Cystic fibrosis, as you know, is a genetic disease
that basically makes my body produce a shit ton of mucus.
Fun fact, I have to be extremely careful
around other people with CF.
The rule is that we're not
supposed to get within six feet
because we could end up
catching each other's bacteria.
A lot of people don't realize that new lungs
generally only last about five years,
which is okay actually because most of us
are just trying to stay alive long enough
for a new treatment to come out.
(VEST VIBRATING)
Just chilling here in my new AffloVest,
which is really cool
because now I don't have to be hooked up to the wall,
which obviously I'm not
because I'm hanging upside down on my bed.
(LAUGHING)
This is actually good
for getting the mucus up and stuff.
I know, cute, right?
(IMITATES VEST VIBRATING)
(LAUGHS)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(URBAN REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS ON CELL PHONE)
Dang, girl.
You look worn.
Who is he?
Is it anyone I know?
(CHUCKLES)
STELLA: What'd you get?
What?
Are those truffles? How'd you get truffles?
Oh, you gotta bring them with, sister.
Wow.
(CHUCKLES) Look at how spicy that food cart is.
I'm impressed.
All right, let's talk about me.
I'm single!
You broke up with Michael?
Maybe he broke up with me.
Did he?
It was mutual.
No, it wasn't.
Why? You actually really liked him.
And I thought he was gonna be the one.
He obviously isn't.
Screw him anyway, right?
At least you got to do that.
(SPUTTERS, LAUGHS)
STELLA: Poe?
(POE GASPING)
(POE COUGHS)
(PHONE RINGING)
Poe?
Poe, you okay?
(POE CONTINUES COUGHING)
Choking, 310.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry, Julie.
My leg hit the call button.
JULIE: You scared us, Poe.
Yeah, try chewing next time.
Here, Stella.
Enjoy your truffles, asshole.
(POE COUGHS)
And please be careful.
I love you, Stella.
(DOOR CLOSES)
DR. HAMID: Phase one clinical trials
only started only 18 months ago,
so we need to be patient
and Will needs to help us with that.
The risk of cross infection will be even higher now, so...
Don't cough on any other CFers.
Well, don't get close enough to touch them
for their safety and yours.
(SIGHS) Six feet at all times. I got it.
Will, in order for this to work,
you need to keep up with your regimen.
Okay, I will see you soon.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(MEREDITH SIGHS)
(SQUEALS)
You're wearing the bathing suit!
(MAYA SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
CAMILA: Hi!
Oh, I'm officially jealous. That looks so fun!
CAMILA: We miss you!
I miss you, too!
You have any cute boy visitors?
No. No. He's not cute.
MAYA: What?
Boy?
What?
(LAUGHS)
MAYA: Show us! Show us!
(CLEARS THROAT)
(COUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTS)
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
What are you doing?
Do you have a death wish or something?
WILL: Hey!
My lungs are toast, okay?
Can you just let me enjoy this view while I can?
Do you know how lucky you are to be here?
To be a part of this drug trial?
How do you know about my drug trial?
You been asking about me?
Ugh.
If you don't care,
then leave.
Give your spot to someone else.
Someone that wants it, that wants to live.
Okay.
What are you doing? Will?
(GRUNTS)
Will, stop, please!
Please get down now!
Will, stop! Oh, my God!
(WILL CHUCKLES)
God!
Relax!
Fine.
Stay up here then.
Come on. It was a joke.
Hey, it was a joke.
(SIGHS)
(DOOR RATTLING)
(INDIE ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Damn it!
(DOOR OPENS)
STELLA: Where's your med cart, and your pills,
and why's your AffloVest on the floor?
Can... Can I see your regimen?
Uh... Not that it's any of your business...
(SIGHS)
Is this... What?
Why would...
Is this what an aneurysm looks like?
Why? Ugh!
Look, I get that you have some kind of
save-the-world hero complex going on,
but can you leave me out of it?
These meds are not optional.
Yeah, that's probably why
they keep shoving them down my throat.
STELLA: You're making me crazy.
Hey.
Stella, come on!
Six feet!
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
I need you to follow your regimen
strictly and completely, please.
Why don't...
Why don't you tell me what's going on, actually?
Talk to me. I'm not gonna make any jokes or laugh.
(CHUCKLES)
I have control issues.
And I need to know that things are in order,
and I know that you're not doing your treatments
and it's really, really messing me up.
Okay, I wanna help you.
I do.
I don't even know how to do what you're asking me to.
That's bullshit!
All CFers know
how to administer their own treatments.
We're practically doctors by the time we're 12.
Are you serious?
Am I actually messing you up?
Yes.
All right.
I'll help you.
But if I do,
what's in it for me?
No, not like...
I... I wanna draw you.
No.
Why not? I'm serious.
No.
Okay.
Then no deal.
You really can't practice just a little bit of discipline
even to save your own life?
Stella, nothing is going to save our lives.
We're breathing borrowed air.
Enjoy it.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(DOOR OPENS)
Fine.
But I'm not posing for hours on end.
And your regimen, we're doing it my way.
Okay, the first thing you're gonna do
is get a med cart in your room. Deal?
Deal.
Shake on it?
Funny.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(DINGS)
(CRASHING)
POE: (GROANS) Shit!
Oh, God, no, no, no!
Hey.
You missed the show.
WILL: Yeah. You doing stunts in there?
Well, there's no better place to break a leg.
That's fair.
I'm Will.
I'm Poe.
B. cepacia.
Damn, that's rough.
Yeah.
So, no lung transplant for me.
When did you contract it?
About eight months ago now. It colonized so quickly.
I was on the transplant list one minute and then...
(SCOFFS)
I'm sure that attitude is what's giving Stella fits.
Yeah, what's up with that?
She told me that she has control issues or something.
POE: Call it what you want, she's got her shit together.
She definitely keeps me in line.
So, uh,
have you two...
(CHUCKLES) No.
No, no, no.
I've known that girl since I was, like, seven.
I don't know, man.
Sounds like you love her.
Of course, I love her.
So, why haven't you done anything about it?
Because
she's not a he.
(SIGHS)
Don't worry. I don't like white boys.
(POE CHUCKLES)
Dr. Hamid said that you suddenly
wanna be responsible for your own regimen.
Don't make me regret this.
Did you wipe everything down?
WILL: Yes. This wasn't my idea, you know?
STELLA: Are we still clear?
Yes. Hurry up.
STELLA: I'm almost done.
(GROANS)
Okay. Your med cart's all set up.
I built an app for chronic illnesses.
It'll alert you when to do
your treatments, and take your pills...
WILL: Built an app?
Like you built it?
STELLA: Surprise.
It's pretty simple.
You should be able to figure it out.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
POE: Okay, Stella.
Don't tell me that the one time you're interested
in some guy, he's a CFer.
I just helped him set up his med cart.
That... That's it. That's all!
I know you, Stella.
Organizing a med cart is like foreplay.
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
(SHOUTS) They're called manners!
(LAPTOP CHIMES)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Are you doing your AffloVest?
Yeah.
Show me.
I can't. I'm half-naked.
You're supposed to be doing your AffloVest right now,
and did you take your Creon?
Are those the suppositories?
Okay.
Okay, I can't trust you,
so this is how it's gonna work.
We're gonna do our treatments together
so that way I know you're actually doing them.
Okay?
Always looking for ways
to spend more time with me, aren't you, Stella?
Bye.
STELLA: I've been doing this since I was a little kid.
So you just pour them all in the pudding
and stir it around. Are you doing that?
(INDIE FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
(IMITATES VEST VIBRATING)
(CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
(STELLA IMITATES VEST VIBRATING)
(INDIE FOLK MUSIC CONTINUES)
Good night.
(INDIE FOLK MUSIC ENDS)
The Divorce Diet doesn't look good on you, Mom.
What are you talking about?
You're too thin. Dad needs a bath.
You guys are stealing my look.
I'm stealing your look?
Mmm-hmm.
Okay, maybe I need this more than you do.
No!
Oh, my God!
How did that happen?
How did it happen?
Oh, man!
Give me napkins.
Aw, here, honey.
I love you so much.
I know. I love you, too.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
(ERIN SNIFFLES)
How does it feel?
STELLA: Not great.
Let's try some Bactroban,
see how it looks in a day or two.
Maybe we can clear it up, huh?
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
Oh. I'll be at the gym.
Thanks, Doc!
(WILL PANTING)
(COUGHS)
Hey, you know, this sucks.
When does this deal of ours become mutually beneficial?
I've done everything you've asked
with no return on my investment.
You really wanna draw me after we work out?
Yeah.
No.
I'm gross, and sweaty, and smell.
"My hair is dirty.
"I'm too tired.
"My med cart is messy."
Fine.
I'll sweat harder then. Just for you.
I'm going to draw that sweat.
(STELLA COUGHING)
What's that?
My to-do list.
To-do list?
That's pretty old-fashioned for someone that builds apps.
Yeah, well, the app doesn't give me
the satisfaction of doing
that.
What else is on that to-do list of yours?
My master list or my daily list?
Yeah, of course you have two lists.
The master list. That's the big stuff, right?
Okay.
Volunteer in an important political campaign.
Done.
Study all the works of William Shakespeare.
Done.
Share everything I know about CF with other people.
That's my YouTube page.
So, your plan is to die really smart
so that you can join
the debate team of the dead or something?
What about traveling the world?
Learn to play piano.
Done.
Speak fluent French.
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
Can you look at me for a sec?
You wanna hear my list?
No.
Painting class with Bob Ross.
He's dead.
Yeah, never mind. Uh...
Sex in the Vatican.
(SIGHS) I'd rather help you meet Bob Ross.
I don't know.
I'd like to travel the world.
Actually get to see some of it
and not the inside of these hospitals.
STELLA: Thank you.
For what?
For saying something real.
Was it the Vatican thing?
Can you hurry up?
Okay. I just thought you might want to know
how this feels. You ready?
And I brought a jumping buddy.
Don't worry. I'll hold him tight.
All right, Abby, ready to jump out of a plane?
Ready!
Happy Birthday, Stella.
(ABBY SCREAMING)
(ABBY CONTINUES SCREAMING)
I love you, Stella. I'll see you soon.
STELLA: I love you, too.
(CLATTERS)
I like seeing you like this.
Like what?
Hopeful.
All right.
Hey, Julie.
What if this doesn't work?
What if it does?
(RESUMES SKETCHING)
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHING)
Ha-ha!
(LAPTOP RINGING)
Why cartoons?
They're subversive.
They can be light and funny but pack a powerful punch.
I think a well-drawn cartoon
can say a lot more than words ever could.
Yeah?
What does this say exactly?
A lot more than words ever could.
I think it's actually pretty good.
I think that's really good. Behind you.
What is that?
Oh, those are lungs. That's brilliant.
Did you do that?
Uh, no, my older sister, Abby.
Wow. She's really good.
I'd love to see more of her stuff. Do you have any?
We don't have to, uh, share our stories, okay?
We can just do our treatments together.
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
(SCOFFS SOFTLY)
STELLA: Hey, guys! I have to get a nasal poly...
Polypectomy.
We're removing polyps from your nasal passages.
And Stella's nervous.
But I'm gonna be there to sing her to sleep.
Just like always.
♪ I love you A bushel and a peck ♪
♪ A bushel and a peck ♪
Don't sing the whole thing yet.
♪ And a hug around the neck ♪
You're gonna jinx it. (SHUSHES)
♪ And a barrel and a heap ♪
You're gonna jinx it.
♪ And I'm talkin' in my sleep About you ♪
But seriously.
I'm gonna be there when you go to sleep
and I'm gonna be right here when you wake up.
Okay?
Okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
My sister, Abby, ladies and gentlemen.
She's single, by the way.
Her digits are...
That was last year.
Abby's not in any of the videos after that.
I found Abby's Instagram.
I mean, it's mostly art,
her and Stella, but you're right.
I mean, she hasn't posted in a year.
(DOOR OPENS)
Barb didn't see you come in, did she?
No.
Abby's dead, isn't she?
You're as delicate as a jackhammer.
We don't have time for delicacy, Stella. We're dying.
Can you stop reminding me that I'm dying?
I get it. I get that.
Okay? I just can't.
I have been dying my whole life.
Every birthday, we celebrated it like it was my last one.
I know. Me, too.
Because then, yeah, as you pointed out, Abby died.
And then my parents' marriage died.
And it was supposed to be me.
Everyone was ready for that.
Everyone was prepared for that.
I just, I can't die.
I just... My parents... I can't.
Is this why you're so obsessed with your regimen?
You're not afraid of dying. You have survivor's guilt.
Will?
You're a sick girl with survivor's guilt.
This is out of your control.
I just don't have any other choice, okay?
You do. But that's what I'm trying to tell you.
STELLA: I don't! Will, I don't.
Okay, Stella. Hey, I'm sorry.
We're supposed to be meditating.
Stella, come on!
POE: You knew he had boundary issues.
For what it's worth, I don't think he meant to hurt you.
Yeah, but it's still annoying.
Like, he said "Abby" and "dead"
in the same sentence like it was no big deal.
(SIGHS)
I should've been there.
Stella, look at me.
You can't know.
You just can't.
(SIGHS)
Oh, this disease is a prison.
I wanna hug you.
Just pretend that I'm doing it right now.
I love you.
I love you, too.
You wanna get ice cream?
Yes.
(LINE BEEPS)
DR. HAMID: If the infection gets into the bloodstream...
Hey.
It's gonna be okay.
You don't know that.
You're right. I don't. It's risky.
But sepsis is the bigger monster.
Hey.
You're a fighter, Stella Grant.
You always have been.
So...
Yeah?
Yeah.
Tomorrow morning, then.
I'll let your parents know.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SIGHS)
(SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey.
You're here.
I'm here.
I got your cartoon. You're forgiven. Back up.
You missed our treatment. What's going on?
Infected G-tube.
Dr. Hamid's worried about sepsis,
so she's replacing it in the morning.
I'm going under general.
Shit.
Are your lungs up for that?
Do your nebulizer at 8:00, and your AffloVest, okay?
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SOULFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)
(DOOR OPENS)
What are you doing here?
I thought this was the bathroom, honestly.
(LAUGHS)
It's your first surgery without Abby.
How do you know that?
I've seen all your movies.
Some might say
I'm your biggest fan.
So, I really hope that I don't mess this up.
♪ I love you A bushel and a peck ♪
♪ A bushel and a peck And a hug around the neck ♪
Go away! Go away!
♪ A hug around the neck And a barrel and a heap ♪
♪ A barrel and a heap ♪
♪ And I'm talkin' in my sleep About you ♪
Our grandma used to sing that to us.
I had to Google it. It's really old.
I know.
What the heck's
a barrel and a heap?
(LAUGHS)
You're gonna be okay.
Promise?
(BOTH KISS)
Hey.
You ready to get this show on the road?
(MOUTHING) Yeah.
Oh, hell, no!
Will!
She was scared.
I just wanted to do something nice.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Come on!
She's in more danger under the anesthesia
than she is with me.
Trevor Von.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) That's who you remind me of.
Trevor Von and Amy Presley.
Oh, they were...
They were in love.
And I let them break the rules so they could be happy.
And let me guess,
they died?
Yes, Will, they did.
On my watch.
And I'd be damned if I let that happen again.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(EKG BEEPING)
It's gonna be okay.
You know what to do.
Mmm-hmm.
BOTH: Ten, nine...
STELLA: ...eight,
seven...
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: Shh...
(ECHOING VOICE SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
(DREAMY MUSIC PLAYING)
(MOANS SOFTLY)
(GASPS)
Oh... (GASPS)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
STELLA: (SINGSONG) Hi, it's me.
(GROGGILY) Call me 'cause I miss you, okay?
But don't call me, 'cause I just got out of surgery
and I'm really tired.
But call me though when you get this,
because you're cute
and I wanna see you
and your fluffy little hair
and your little skinny legs. (CHUCKLES)
Okay?
Don't call me, though,
because if I hear your sexy voice,
I won't be able to sleep, so...
Call me when you get this, okay?
Bye.
(JAZZY POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Will's not coming.
Will?
I'm not leaving until you open the door.
WILL: I can't.
Just, please open the door and we can talk about this.
Okay? I don't care what Barb said.
Just open the door!
(TURNS DOOR HANDLE)
I can't.
STELLA: Will, come on.
Go away, Stella.
POE: Maybe it's better this way.
STELLA: No, I can figure this out.
I need to figure this out.
POE: We're not normal kids.
We don't get to take chances like this.
Oh, come on. You're not gonna give me that, too?
POE: Admit what's going on here.
Will's a risk-taker, just like Abby.
What's that supposed to mean?
You think that I'm the one that's afraid to take risks?
What about you and your life
and your relationships?
You and Tim, you and Rick, you and Michael.
Don't go there.
They knew you were sick and they loved you.
You were the one who ran. Every time, you ran.
You don't know what you're talking about.
You ruined every chance you've ever had at love,
so just keep your advice to yourself.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(MELLOW MUSIC CONTINUES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(LAUGHS)
Bitch.
Asshole.
You know, you're right.
I am afraid.
You know what someone gets for loving me?
They get to pay for all my care.
And then they get to watch me die.
Deductibles, meds, hospital stays, surgeries.
When I turn 18, there's no more full coverage.
Who should I put that on?
Michael or my family?
It's my sickness, it's my problem.
Maybe we can get Will to marry you.
He's loaded.
He's not picky. He likes you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I am sorry
about you and Will.
POE: Stella?
What?
Stella?
(VEST VIBRATING)
(VIBRATING STOPS)
(LAPTOP CHIMES)
Hello.
There is something a little bit different
I want to talk about today.
Burkholderia cepacia.
The risks, the restrictions
and the rules of engagement.
B. cepacia is a hardy bacteria.
Okay? It is so adaptive
that it literally feeds on penicillin.
So, our first line of defense is
Cal Stat, a hospital-grade hand sterilizer.
Apply liberally and often.
Next is good old-fashioned latex!
Tried-and-true.
Used for protection in all types of activities.
B. cepacia thrives best in saliva or phlegm.
Fun fact, a cough can travel six feet,
a sneeze can travel up to 200 miles per hour.
But the "no saliva" thing also means no kissing.
Ever.
So, our best defense is distance.
Six feet at all times.
Ta-da!
Here's a pool cue.
It measures approximately five feet.
Five feet.
I've given a lot of thought to foot number six.
And you know what? It made me mad.
When you have cystic fibrosis, so much is taken from you.
You live every day of your life
according to treatments, and pills, and schedules.
Most of us can't have children.
A lot of us don't even live long enough
to try to have children.
Shit, it's complicated to try to explain,
but it's even hard to fall in love.
So, after all that CF has stolen from me,
from us,
I don't mind stealing a little something back.
One foot.
One fucking foot
of space, of distance,
of length, or whatever you wanna call it.
I don't mind stealing that back.
Because CF...
you're not the thief anymore.
I'm the thief now.
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
(WHOOPS)
(HOLLERS)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Five feet apart.
Deal?
Are you in?
I'm so in.
Atrium. 9:00.
(STELLA GROANS)
Why didn't I pack anything nice?
Oh, 'cause you always pack for a hot hospital romance.
(GROANS)
(SPRAYS)
Is this see-through?
Don't even think about it, ho.
(DREAM POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Hi.
WILL: He cut and ran when I was born.
I guess having a sick kid wasn't part of his plan.
What about your mom?
She's beautiful and driven and smart.
She's just focused on me and me alone.
So, starting tomorrow, when I'm 18,
I will be making the decisions for myself.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Tomorrow's your birthday?
You could have told me that.
I don't have a present for you.
How about you just promise to stick around for the next one?
Come on.
I'm getting out of here.
There is this one theory I like
that says, "To understand death, you have to look at birth."
So, like,
while we're in the womb, we're living that existence
not knowing that our next existence
is just an inch away.
So, maybe it's the same with death.
Maybe death is just the next life,
but an inch away.
Or maybe it's just a big sleep, baby.
Lights out.
Done and done.
No.
There's no way
that Abby just blinked out.
I refuse to believe it.
What happened with Abby?
She was cliff diving in California.
She landed wrong, broke her neck and drowned.
They said she didn't feel any pain,
but how would they know if she felt pain?
I was supposed to be there with her, but I got sick.
Like I always do.
I just keep imagining it over and over again.
What she was feeling.
(SOBS)
Without knowing that, she just never stops dying.
Stella.
Even if you were there, you still wouldn't know.
But I wasn't there.
She died alone.
Isn't that how we're gonna die?
Drowning. Just without the water.
Our own fluids doing the dirty work.
(LAUGHS)
I think about that last breath a lot.
Gasping for air,
not getting any.
No air,
just black.
But that's only on Mondays.
Otherwise, I don't dwell on it.
There's that smile.
God, you're beautiful.
And brave.
I wish I could touch you.
(DREAMY MUSIC CONTINUES)
I lied
when we met.
I've never had sex. (LAUGHS)
I've never wanted anyone to see me.
The scars, uh,
the tube, nothing about it's sexy.
Everything about you is sexy.
I think you're perfect.
(DREAMY MUSIC CONTINUES)
(YELPING)
Good morning.
STELLA: See those lights out there?
Abby and I would call them stars
and we would make wishes.
She'd never tell me what her wish was,
but I knew she wished for new lungs for me.
I hope she gets her wish.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, me too.
Mornin', Barb.
(SIGHS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Where are they?
Who?
What are you talking about?
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Oh, shit. Barb knows we're gone.
Okay.
Uh, she'll look for me first in the NICU, so...
Bye! Okay.
(COUGHING)
(PANTING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(COUGHING)
(EXHALES)
(LAUGHS)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
I'm free!
Oh...
Oh, my gosh!
Happy Birthday!
I'm so sorry. I forgot.
No, it's fine.
What are you doing? Are you busy? Let's take a walk.
I can't right now.
I'm sorry.
Studying.
Maybe later?
My friends are actually coming later.
That's all right.
We'll figure something out.
I was just, uh,
missing you.
Talk to you later.
All right. Bye.
(LINE BEEPS)
Jason.
Yeah, no. Don't...
No. Don't worry about it. It's fine.
No, seriously, I'm not mad.
It's fine. Just do your thing.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
(LAPTOP CHIMES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Thought you'd never find me.
I know it's late,
but we had to wait till the cafeteria closed.
"We"?
STELLA: Mmm-hmm.
ALL: Surprise!
(LAUGHING AND WHOOPING)
HOPE: We felt so bad for ditching you, dude.
But your girlfriend DM'd us
and convinced us to surprise you, man.
"Girlfriend"?
You're so good.
JASON: Yeah, I'm good.
CAMILA: I can't believe he's real.
I know!
MAYA: And he's even hotter in person.
CAMILA: Seriously.
POE: Hey, the food's almost ready!
And Happy Birthday!
(LAUGHTER)
Just wanted to observe the master at work.
Are those roses?
They're so beautiful.
How do you do that?
POE: I've been practicing.
'Cause next month, Michael and I
are gonna go see my mom.
Really?
(SQUEALS)
He's coming to lunch tomorrow and I'm gonna go for it.
Oh, my God!
He loves me.
And I love him, too.
Aw, Poe, I'm so happy!
Don't go all soppy on me.
You know I can't let a girl cry alone.
(LAUGHS)
They're happy tears.
I'm happy for you, Poe.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Let's eat!
(SQUEALS)
(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)
Poe, where did you get all of this?
Hospitals have VIP kitchens
where they keep all the good stuff.
You know, for celebrities, politicians.
But tonight, Birthday Boy, it's for you.
Salud!
ALL: Salud!
(ALL LAUGHING)
(COUGHING)
We were, like, ten!
Yes. And we literally put sheets over our head
and ran into the dementia ward!
(THUMPS TABLE)
It was just like that!
POE: (SPOOKILY) Woo!
It was crazy.
It was the best Halloween ever!
We got in so much trouble.
And it wasn't even our idea.
Remember? Abby... Abby came up with that.
(CHATTER QUIETS)
Abby was wild.
She was free.
POE: She always said she was gonna live big
because Stella couldn't.
She did.
POE: She lived big.
POE: Bigger than any of us.
She would've loved a clandestine party
like this one!
She would've.
To Abby.
CAMILA: To Abby.
♪ Happy Birthday to you! ♪
Whoo!
Make a wish!
I can't blow the candles out or else you guys can't eat it.
(BLOWS)
HOPE: I made a wish for you.
Thank you.
One. Two.
MAYA: All right.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
ALL: Yay!
CAMILA: Happy Birthday, Will!
POE: Barb?
Hey!
(BARB CLEARS THROAT)
POE: We thought you were off tonight.
You want us to fix you a plate?
That's it. That's it.
You're all confined to your rooms
while we get respiratory cultures.
And you.
You'll be transferred in the morning.
STELLA: Barb! Barb, it wasn't his fault.
Well, you might be willing to gamble with your lives,
but I'm not!
POE: Just like when we were kids.
But you're not kids anymore, Poe.
But we were safe like you taught us to be.
Oh. (SIGHS)
I'm sorry, but it was fun!
(LAUGHING)
WILL: All right, I'm gonna let you go to sleep, okay?
STELLA: Good night.
Good night.
(LINE BEEPS)
A little pick-me-up?
Thank you.
It's just safer if he goes.
You're probably right.
She's gonna hate me.
JULIE: Mmm-hmm.
What's up, Poe?
He probably sat on the call button again.
I got it.
Knock, knock. Poe?
(GASPS) Code Blue!
MAN: (ON PA) Attention, all medical personnel.
Poe! Poe!
BARB: Poe!
No pulse.
Oh, God! Okay.
JULIE: Stay with me, baby.
He's not breathing. He's not breathing.
Come on, you can do it. Come on.
Bag him. Start chest compressions!
JULIE: Come on!
DOCTOR: Give him an Epi!
Come on, baby!
DOCTOR: It's a massive tension pneumothorax.
His lung is collapsing!
(ALARMED CHATTER)
DOCTOR: Put the pads on him! Put the pads on him!
JULIE: Come on, buddy.
Come on, sweetie. Come on, sweetie!
JULIE: Come on, buddy!
Barb, what's happening?
Somebody get her out of here!
Close that door!
Barb, what's happening?
STELLA: Dr. Hamid?
Not now, Stella.
Dr. Hamid?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
(SOBBING) No!
No!
(SOBBING) I'm so sorry.
No!
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
Oh, my God!
He's gone!
Michael's never gonna see him again.
His parents are never gonna see him again.
I'm never gonna see him again.
I never hugged him!
He's my best friend and I never fucking hugged him!
Oh, God!
I'm losing everyone.
You're not losing me.
What are you doing?
Get out!
Just get out!
(JAR SHATTERS)
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
(MOUTHING)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
I wanna go see the lights.
It's gotta be, like, two miles away.
Hey, come on, let's go inside.
Come with me.
Stella, now's not the time to be rebellious.
Is this about Poe?
It is about Poe.
It's about Abby, it's about you and me
and all the things that we'll never get to do together.
This whole time, I've been living for my treatments
instead of doing my treatments so that I can live.
I wanna live.
It's just life, Will.
It'll be over before we know it.
All right.
Can we catch a cab at least?
I wanna walk and enjoy the night.
Glove. We're good.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
(WILL PANTING)
WILL: How are you always getting me to exercise?
(STELLA CHUCKLES)
(BOTH PANTING)
Sure looks better from up here.
(WILL GRUNTS)
(STELLA CHUCKLES)
What's that?
Yeah, you're gonna have to explain that one.
Abby got it for me
the first time I came to the hospital.
I've had it with me every time since.
That's a relief, honestly,
'cause I didn't have the heart to tell you
that a third boob might be a deal breaker.
(STELLA CHUCKLES)
Hey, Stella.
Hmm?
It's cold.
(GRUNTS)
Come on.
Let's go see your lights.
(BOTH PANTING)
Let's take a breather.
Stella? Hey, don't do that.
Stella.
(STOMPS) It's frozen solid.
(SNIFFLES, SIGHS HEAVILY)
DR. HAMID: Hey, ladies.
I just got a call from St. Luke's in Kansas City.
Car accident with fatalities.
One female, AB neg, 5'2", thoracic cage size...
Stella's getting lungs.
ETA three hours. Get her prepped.
(BARB GASPING)
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
(STELLA LAUGHING AND SQUEALING)
Whew!
(GRUNTS)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
Hey.
Everything all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm good.
Oh! (LAUGHING)
I love you, Stella.
(PANTING)
(GIGGLES)
(STELLA YELPS, LAUGHS)
(STELLA COUGHS)
I love you, too.
We can't.
I know.
Stella.
(ICE CRACKING)
Oh...
STELLA: Shit!
WILL: Come on, come on!
Come on.
(LOUD CRACK)
WILL: Come on.
Barb. Barb? Barb.
She's not answering,
and now it's going straight to voicemail.
Stella would never run off. She wouldn't do that.
Have you been able to reach him?
No.
How long have they been gone?
If your son causes Stella to lose these lungs...
My son is just as sick as your daughter is.
Stella would never do anything like this.
She's never done anything.
BARB: Stella did this, Erin.
Not Will. He doesn't know anything about the lungs.
Lungs?
Is there a transplant?
Yeah, for Stella. They're on the way.
STELLA: Well, tell me at least you're a cat person.
Do you like cats?
WILL: I owned a ferret.
I was a ferret kid. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, no. You would be a ferret kid.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
Don't answer it.
Really. What do they need right now?
It's my mom.
Let me just tell her that I'm okay.
Stella, they have new lungs for you.
Hey, they have new lungs for you.
Let's go to the hospital. Come on!
I haven't seen the lights yet.
The lights?
Did you know about this? What are we doing out here?
Let's go to the hospital.
Come on.
Five years?
Five years is a lifetime for people like us.
It's not! Because what happens
when they fail and I'm back to square one?
Let's not be stupid. Can we go the hospital, please?
Come on, let's go.
(YELPS)
Stella!
(COUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
Stella.
Come on.
Please? It's cold.
Stella!
(PANTING RAPIDLY)
Stella.
(WILL GASPING)
Help!
(TONE CHIMES)
Come on, Stella.
(PANTING)
(COUGHING)
Come on!
(GRUNTS)
Come on, Stella.
(INHALES)
(WILL GASPING)
(WILL WHEEZING)
(GURGLES)
(COUGHING)
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
(COUGHING)
PARAMEDIC: We have a 17-year-old...
DOCTOR: What have we got?
PARAMEDIC: A 17-year-old female with cystic fibrosis.
We already have lungs for her.
Can someone get the other mask off?
Oh, my God. Honey.
It's okay.
My son. My son was out there, too.
I'm sorry. Step back, please.
ERIN: You're okay. You're okay.
Where's Will?
ERIN: Honey.
JULIE: Coming through!
Is he okay?
(COUGHING)
DR. HAMID: Get a mask on her as soon as possible, please.
JULIE: O2 is at 45.
Possible hypothermia.
JULIE: We're gonna need more blankets over here.
DR. HAMID: Just breathe. Stella?
ERIN: I've got you, honey.
DR. HAMID: Stella?
You need to calm down.
We have your new lungs.
Yes, Stella.
I don't want them.
Stella, we've been waiting for these lungs for years.
What are you talking about?
If you don't use the lungs, they're wasted, sweetie.
I love him. The new lungs
won't mean anything without him.
Lay down!
WILL: Stop! Stop!
Please! Stop.
STELLA: Will!
Please.
Take the lungs.
For me.
Okay.
PARAMEDIC: Come on, put the mask on.
STELLA: I'm ready.
DR. HAMID: Okay, all right, let's go, everyone.
Okay, okay.
PARAMEDIC: Okay, here we go. We're moving.
ERIN: I'll be right here, honey.
PARAMEDIC: Let's go.
Okay, I love you so much.
I love you, Dad.
(COUGHING)
PARAMEDIC: Okay, here we go.
WILL: Dr. Hamid.
I gave her mouth-to-mouth.
I'm sorry. I didn't have any other choice.
You saved her life, Will.
If she has B. cepacia, we'll deal with it, okay?
(SOFT INDIE MUSIC PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
(SOFT INDIE MUSIC CONTINUES)
(INAUDIBLE)
(DOOR OPENS)
Bacterial cultures came back.
I don't know how, but she's clean.
She didn't get it.
But that doesn't mean she won't.
What about Will?
Is the treatment working?
No.
No, it's not.
(BARB SIGHS)
I'm sorry.
For all of this.
No, no, no, no, sweetie.
It's not your fault.
(SIGHS)
(EKG BEEPING)
(SIGHING)
WILL: (WHISPERS) Mom. Hey.
Hey, Mom.
What? What is it? What is it, honey?
Could you help me with something?
Are you guys in?
Absolutely.
Barb?
Hell, yeah, I'm in.
(ERIN CHUCKLES)
She's sedated. We have a few more hours.
We have time.
MEREDITH: It's done.
They said yes.
Okay.
Let's do this.
(INAUDIBLE)
I've done all I'm doing with this, Will. I'm done.
ERIN: Thank you.
She's waking up.
ERIN: (SOFTLY) Hey, honey.
Hey, sweetie, you did great!
You really did.
You did great.
BARB: You did wonderful, baby.
You did good.
ERIN: It's okay.
(WHISPERS) We have something for you.
WILL: My beautiful, bossy Stella.
I guess it's true, what that book of yours says.
That the soul knows no time.
My drug trial's not working.
I want you to know that this past month
will last forever for me.
My only regret is that
you didn't get to see your lights.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
(ON SPEAKERS) I finally got you speechless.
You know, people are always saying if you love something,
you have to learn to let it go.
I thought that was such bullshit.
Till I watched you almost die.
In that moment, Stella,
nothing mattered to me.
Except you.
I'm sorry.
I don't wanna go.
All I want is to be with you.
I can't.
I need you to be safe.
From me.
I don't know what comes next,
but I don't regret any of this.
Could you close your eyes?
I just don't know if I can walk away
if you're still looking at me.
Please.
I love you
so much.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFLES) He left this for you.
(SOBBING)
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(GASPS)
(SOBS)
STELLA: Human touch.
Our first form of communication.
Safety, security, comfort,
all in the gentle caress of a finger.
Or at the brush of lips on a soft cheek.
Hey, Stella. You can't record that. No.
It connects us when we're happy...
(GIGGLING)
(GASPS) Abby, no.
STELLA: ...bolsters us in times of fear...
(SHOUTS)
Can you turn that off?
...excites us in times of passion...
Ah. No. Stella, no. Stop!
...and love.
We need that touch from the one we love
almost as much as we need air to breathe.
But I never understood the importance of touch.
His touch.
Until I couldn't have it.
So, if you're watching this
and you're able,
touch him.
Touch her.
Life's too short to waste a second.
Subtitles by explosiveskull
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