1 00:00:01,299 --> 00:00:04,299 (film reel rolling) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:12,139 (soft string music) 5 00:00:45,092 --> 00:00:48,319 (static humming) 6 00:00:48,319 --> 00:00:51,100 - [Rob] From NPR News in Washington, I'm Rob Westerfield 7 00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:54,400 with these top stories at the bottom of the hour. 8 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,900 An irrepressible website that went viral over 9 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,220 the Christmas weekend is causing considerable 10 00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:02,100 consternation in governments around the globe. 11 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,250 The site streams an unflinching live 12 00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:06,300 up-skirt view of a woman's genitals 13 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,960 as she goes about her daily activities. 14 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,410 Even the United States has been unsuccessful 15 00:01:11,410 --> 00:01:12,930 in shutting it down. 16 00:01:12,930 --> 00:01:15,170 To gain more insight into this breaking story 17 00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:17,880 we have our Pentagon correspondent Chandra Mitterandra 18 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:18,713 on the line. 19 00:01:18,713 --> 00:01:19,810 Good morning, Chandra. 20 00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:21,250 - [Chandra] Good morning, Rob. 21 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:24,990 - [Rob] So what's the Pentagon's position on gamcamgrrl.com? 22 00:01:24,990 --> 00:01:26,670 - [Chandra] Several sources I've talked to fear 23 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:30,500 this untraceable website could be the opening salvo 24 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,840 of a foreign Cyber attack on the U.S. 25 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,350 to probe and possibly even penetrate 26 00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:37,520 our digital defenses. 27 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:38,623 - [Rob] But both China and Russia-- 28 00:01:38,623 --> 00:01:40,690 (speaking in foreign language) 29 00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:41,940 - My alarm didn't go off. 30 00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,430 - I'm going to make dumplings tonight. 31 00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:45,895 Your favorite. 32 00:01:45,895 --> 00:01:47,000 - Mmm. 33 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:47,833 Thanks, Mom. 34 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:48,810 I'll be back at five. - Okay, okay. 35 00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:50,070 - [Rob] Therefore should have the ability 36 00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:51,640 to pull the plug on it. 37 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,430 - [Chandra] I brought that up to Thomasine Woodley earlier-- 38 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:59,430 ♪ There's a door I came through to get onto this train ♪ 39 00:02:00,482 --> 00:02:03,232 ♪ And before that I stood in the station ♪ 40 00:02:03,232 --> 00:02:08,232 ♪ To keep out of the rain ♪ 41 00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:13,653 ♪ On this train between stations ♪ 42 00:02:13,653 --> 00:02:17,402 ♪ Chasing the horizon ♪ 43 00:02:17,402 --> 00:02:19,071 ♪ Train between stations ♪ 44 00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:23,821 ♪ No one is sure of its true destination ♪ 45 00:02:25,352 --> 00:02:27,850 ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 46 00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:31,485 ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 47 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,235 ♪ Oh ♪ 48 00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:45,330 - [Crowd] Hungry Lice. 49 00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:47,379 - [Announcer] Level three. 50 00:02:47,379 --> 00:02:49,629 (grunting) 51 00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:02,450 - I see you're reading about the Gam Cam Grrl. 52 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,582 - Oh, I just, uh, couldn't help but read it, 53 00:03:04,582 --> 00:03:05,910 right there on the front page staring me 54 00:03:05,910 --> 00:03:07,670 right in the, Face! 55 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,280 Wow. 56 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:10,113 That's it? 57 00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:11,940 That's what it looks like? 58 00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:13,100 - Don't tell me you've never seen one 59 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,540 of these before? 60 00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:16,790 - Yeah, of course, but not on someone's phone like that. 61 00:03:16,790 --> 00:03:19,070 - Come on, you never did any sexting in high school? 62 00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:20,853 - Uh, no, I never did. 63 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,320 - What's that thing on your leg? 64 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,153 - What, what thing? 65 00:03:27,153 --> 00:03:29,151 - That thing on your ankle? 66 00:03:29,151 --> 00:03:30,077 That's not an up-skirt camera is it? 67 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:30,910 - No. - If it is, 68 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,479 I'm really gonna be pissed. 69 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:33,312 - No. 70 00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:34,773 It's a GPS tracking device. 71 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,030 I have to wear it for the next three years 72 00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:38,810 while I'm on parole. 73 00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:40,270 - Parole? 74 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:44,330 - Yeah, I just got out of prison about a month ago. 75 00:03:44,330 --> 00:03:45,630 Right before Thanksgiving. 76 00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:48,055 - What were you in prison for? 77 00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:52,423 - Bank robbery. 78 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,080 I know it sounds bad but it wasn't like I walked 79 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,663 up to the teller window with a gun or anything. 80 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,286 - [Announcer] Game over! 81 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,780 - She took a shower yesterday 82 00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,320 but she was wearing a mask. 83 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,153 Gloves too. 84 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:14,260 She's always wearing gloves when her hand 85 00:04:14,260 --> 00:04:15,960 gets anywhere near the proscenium. 86 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,490 Speak of the devil. 87 00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:22,250 - She's waking the wombat again. 88 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,573 - Same time as yesterday. 89 00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:29,920 - Something wrong with the monitor? 90 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:30,760 - No. 91 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:31,593 No, it's on. 92 00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,390 It's just a short in her lighting system. 93 00:04:39,470 --> 00:04:41,270 - No, this is definitely deliberate. 94 00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:45,420 She's flashing the lights on and off in Morse Code. 95 00:04:47,013 --> 00:04:49,596 (gentle music) 96 00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:59,560 - The 14 numbers displayed in Morse Code 97 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,220 match the Bureau of Prisons ID number and release date 98 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,273 for inmate Shane Mathias Antar. 99 00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:09,240 Recently released on parole 100 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,120 from the Federal Penitentiary at Victorville. 101 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,970 He currently lives with his mother in the Palms area 102 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,423 of Los Angeles. 103 00:05:18,071 --> 00:05:20,893 Notify the L.A. office I'm on the next flight out. 104 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:28,003 - 21 violations of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. 105 00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:33,193 He hacked the Bank of Western Ems Levee in Germany. 106 00:05:34,950 --> 00:05:37,503 Made off with almost 10 million euros. 107 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,330 - And he gave all that money away to charities 108 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,690 I remember that. 109 00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:43,740 He was a sort of a folk hero in the hacking community 110 00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:44,573 for a while. 111 00:05:44,573 --> 00:05:47,103 The Robin Hood of the Internet, they called him. 112 00:05:47,103 --> 00:05:48,953 - His father was an American citizen. 113 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,483 Taught English at Shanghai U. 114 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,653 Shane's mother was one of his students. 115 00:05:57,630 --> 00:06:01,940 She was 19 when they got married, moved back to Los Angeles 116 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:03,963 where Shane was born in 1989. 117 00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:07,939 - I just tapped into the GPS on Shane's ankle monitor. 118 00:06:07,939 --> 00:06:10,930 He's near the corner of Hill and Third. 119 00:06:10,930 --> 00:06:14,813 A business called Greater Prose Groceries and Books. 120 00:06:16,896 --> 00:06:17,790 - Yeah, but Fool, what'd you expect her to do 121 00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:20,390 when you told her you were a bank robber though? 122 00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:22,020 - I thought she'd appreciate honesty. 123 00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:24,250 - There he is on Aisle T. 124 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,920 Do we have audio yet? 125 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,493 - Trying to hack into his phone mic now. 126 00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:30,730 - I see the terms of his parole prohibit him 127 00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:33,810 from using any devices with internet access. 128 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,600 So that's why he's got any old flip phone. 129 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,490 - I just broke into his phone. 130 00:06:38,490 --> 00:06:40,450 It was not easy, believe me. 131 00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:43,810 - Dude, it's part of the mating ritual. 132 00:06:43,810 --> 00:06:47,130 You have to fluff up your fricken feathers 133 00:06:47,130 --> 00:06:48,203 like the peacocks do. 134 00:06:49,765 --> 00:06:50,768 You can't let 'em think 135 00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:53,270 that you're some run-a-the-mill turkey out in the barnyard 136 00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:54,540 trying to get some tail. 137 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,440 - Where's the tarragon? 138 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,920 - All spices are on Aisle S, 139 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,450 between Sense and Sensibility 140 00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,070 and Stranger In A Strange Land. 141 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,223 - Thanks. - Welcome. 142 00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:10,213 Hey. 143 00:07:10,213 --> 00:07:11,720 Hey, fool. 144 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,523 When's the last time you got any? 145 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:15,683 - Seven years. 146 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:18,753 - Damn! 147 00:07:21,294 --> 00:07:22,172 My bad. 148 00:07:22,172 --> 00:07:23,780 - It was the night before I went in. 149 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:25,386 Debra. 150 00:07:25,386 --> 00:07:26,913 My last girlfriend in college. 151 00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:33,520 - Fool, you have to learn how to lie 152 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,620 if you wanna get laid. 153 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,870 No girl is gonna hook up with some guy 154 00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:40,080 that just got out of the slammer. 155 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,840 Especially one that's bagging groceries 156 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:42,983 for $10 an hour. 157 00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:46,423 - I'm not looking for a one-night stand. 158 00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:50,090 I want a real relationship. 159 00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:51,490 - Yeah, good luck with that. 160 00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,120 - Oh, gotta love those Greater Prose salads. 161 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,260 Is that a Sunflower Serenade? 162 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,940 - No, it's Arugula Quinoa Tango. 163 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:10,473 - Oh, that's a good one too. 164 00:08:11,997 --> 00:08:13,210 Hey. 165 00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:14,710 I'm Karol. 166 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:15,690 - Shane. 167 00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:16,950 - Pleasure meeting you, Shane. 168 00:08:16,950 --> 00:08:19,570 So you, uh, you work at Greater Prose? 169 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:20,430 - Yeah. 170 00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:22,480 Uh, part-time. 171 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,440 I'm finishing up my doctorate at UCLA. 172 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,700 - Sounds like he's taking his buddy's 173 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,090 advice and feeding her a load of bull. 174 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,820 - Either that or they're talking in code. 175 00:08:30,820 --> 00:08:33,920 - FBI has boots on the ground for remote visual. 176 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,190 - Getting facial recognition 177 00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:37,133 on the contact now. 178 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:39,850 I've got a match. 179 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:44,790 Caroline Miriam Angelikis. 180 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:46,173 29 years old. 181 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,040 Aspiring stand-up comic. 182 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,363 Presently unemployed. 183 00:08:51,550 --> 00:08:53,248 - Do you ever go to comedy clubs? 184 00:08:53,248 --> 00:08:54,590 - No. 185 00:08:54,590 --> 00:08:55,423 Sounds like fun though. 186 00:08:55,423 --> 00:08:56,860 - Well that's great you said that 187 00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:57,920 because I'm doing a five minute spot 188 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,520 at the Mata Hari tonight, tomorrow night and Thursday. 189 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,960 I've been doing Sunday open mics 190 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,970 there for years and this is the first time they've given 191 00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,540 me an actual time slot that I can put on cards 192 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,330 so I can give them to people to come out. 193 00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:07,963 I really need a good turn-out. 194 00:09:12,023 --> 00:09:13,643 - 8:00 p.m. 195 00:09:13,643 --> 00:09:15,000 I'll be there. 196 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,330 - Great, awesome! 197 00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:17,950 Okay, thanks so much, I'll see you then. 198 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:20,243 And bring as many friends as you can! 199 00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:21,983 Like a lot. 200 00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:23,980 A lot of friends and people. 201 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,643 Mom, dog, parents, grandparents. 202 00:09:30,888 --> 00:09:31,721 - [Announcer] Hungry Lice. 203 00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,920 (grunting) 204 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:34,753 - Hi. 205 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,310 Oh, I see you're playing Hungry Lice. 206 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,410 What level are you at? 207 00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:40,283 - Level Seven. 208 00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:41,116 - Cool. 209 00:09:41,116 --> 00:09:42,300 I'm at level eight. 210 00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaking of eight, I'm doing a show tonight 211 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,333 at The Mata Hari, at 8:00. 212 00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:49,883 - I don't do comedy. 213 00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:53,903 - Well, why don't you give it to somebody who does. 214 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,460 Sleep tight. 215 00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,010 Don't let the hungry lice bite. 216 00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:03,886 - [Announcer] Game over! 217 00:10:10,607 --> 00:10:13,107 (phone rings) 218 00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:18,323 - Hey, Mom! 219 00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:24,430 - They're speaking Mandarin. 220 00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:37,730 - I knew a major player like China 221 00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:40,890 had to be behind something as sophisticated as this. 222 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,021 - I wonder how you say proscenium in Chinese? 223 00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:47,235 ♪ She's gonna eat you alive ♪ 224 00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:50,495 ♪ She's gonna eat you alive ♪ 225 00:10:50,495 --> 00:10:53,808 ♪ She's gonna eat you alive ♪ 226 00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:57,270 ♪ She's gonna eat you alive ♪ 227 00:10:57,270 --> 00:10:58,480 ♪ She's gonna start at your feet ♪ 228 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,250 - Let's give a warm, Mata Hari Club welcome 229 00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:04,935 for the Miss, Lovely, Karol Angelikis! 230 00:11:04,935 --> 00:11:06,938 ♪ And then she'll keep on chomping all the way up ♪ 231 00:11:06,938 --> 00:11:09,810 ♪ Without stopping you'll become another dropping ♪ 232 00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:10,853 - Thank you, Harold. 233 00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:14,600 And I wanna thank all of you for coming out tonight. 234 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,610 All six of you. 235 00:11:15,610 --> 00:11:17,903 Well, all seven if you include the waitress. 236 00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,920 Uh, and while I'm thanking everybody 237 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,140 for coming I wanna call out a special thanks to you, Harold, 238 00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:29,140 for not coming in my mouth last night. (chuckles) 239 00:11:31,847 --> 00:11:33,700 Um, any L.G.B.T. folks in the audience tonight? 240 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:34,920 Come on, come on, don't be shy. 241 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,030 Be proud! 242 00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:37,480 Yeah, you! 243 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,450 Which letter are you? 244 00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:39,750 I mean, you're obviously not an L 245 00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,800 so you're either a G, B or T, so which one is it? 246 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:42,633 - G. - G! 247 00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:45,160 Gee whiz, I would have never guessed. 248 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,880 I mean, it's so hard to tell what anybody is now 249 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,050 these days with all the letters going around, 250 00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:48,883 it's like you walk into a singles bar 251 00:11:48,883 --> 00:11:50,610 and it's like diving into a bowl of alphabet soup. 252 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:51,800 It's not even LGBT anymore, 253 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,750 now it's LGBTQ. 254 00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,583 And some people take it even further and say 255 00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:54,800 it's LGBTQAI. 256 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:55,830 I mean at this rate in another year 257 00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:57,550 or so we're gonna sing the entire fucking Alphabet Song 258 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,940 just to get somebody's sexual preference. 259 00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:00,380 But for brevity's sake, since I only have like 260 00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:01,920 five minutes up here or something, uh, 261 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,000 we'll just stick with LGBTQ, shall we? 262 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,050 Hey, Mister Gee, do you know what the Q stands for in LGBTQ? 263 00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,557 - Queer or questioning. 264 00:12:09,557 --> 00:12:11,060 - Queer or questioning. 265 00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:12,220 There's some irony here, folks. 266 00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:15,310 Here I am, questioning a gay guy about queer or questioning, 267 00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:16,143 so therefore I must qualify 268 00:12:16,143 --> 00:12:17,230 as a Q because of the mere fact that I am 269 00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:18,240 asking a question. 270 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,640 So, thank you, Mr. G, 271 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,800 for clarifying my sexual orientation. 272 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,520 I have now officially joined the LGBTQ 273 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,060 community because I am, in fact, 274 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:25,930 a Q because I'm questioning 275 00:12:25,930 --> 00:12:27,340 what the fuck the letter Q means. 276 00:12:27,340 --> 00:12:29,090 Am I making myself perfectly queer? 277 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:32,733 Hey! 278 00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:34,103 What? 279 00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:35,823 What the, I, five, what? 280 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,770 You can't give me my cut-off cue already! 281 00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:39,083 Boy, five minutes flies by fast 282 00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:41,050 when you're on stage having fun, doesn't it folks? 283 00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:42,893 You know, maybe I should have let the M.C. 284 00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,780 come in my mouth last night so I can slide 285 00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:46,210 an extra minute on my routine. 286 00:12:46,210 --> 00:12:47,043 But the point I was trying to make, 287 00:12:47,043 --> 00:12:49,650 and I had this whole monologue prepared to say it, 288 00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:52,008 is that we're, we're all part of the LGBTQ community 289 00:12:52,008 --> 00:12:54,840 because we're all questioning, we're all Q's. 290 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,740 Even this cute little Asian guy over here. 291 00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,910 Hey, Mr. LGBTQ, what kind of sandwich 292 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:01,743 are you eating? 293 00:13:01,743 --> 00:13:02,839 - A BLT. 294 00:13:02,839 --> 00:13:05,030 (laughing) 295 00:13:05,030 --> 00:13:07,431 - I rest my case, ladies and gentlemen! 296 00:13:07,431 --> 00:13:09,615 ♪ When digestion's complete ♪ 297 00:13:09,615 --> 00:13:11,817 - Let's hear it for Miss Karol Angelikis. 298 00:13:13,078 --> 00:13:15,078 - That's Karol with a K. 299 00:13:16,264 --> 00:13:17,097 - Okay. 300 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,000 We'll have, uh, Tommy Miller up in five minutes 301 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,510 so you guys stick around. 302 00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:21,927 - Did you get the BLT line? 303 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,649 - No, that gay guy's head was in the way. 304 00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:26,149 - (sighs) Oh! 305 00:13:28,243 --> 00:13:29,417 Sam, wasn't it? 306 00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,250 - Shane. 307 00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:31,083 - Oh yeah, Shane. 308 00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:34,110 Um, Shane, honey, I need you to come over 309 00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:36,657 to my apartment and bring the rest of this sandwich. 310 00:13:36,657 --> 00:13:39,063 Hey, can we get a doggie-bag over here? 311 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:44,196 ♪ She's gonna eat you alive ♪ 312 00:13:44,196 --> 00:13:46,560 - A BLT? - Uh, like one more time 313 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,860 but with a little bit more emotion. 314 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,173 - A BLT. 315 00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:52,980 - Uh, no, let's try it one more time: 316 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:56,413 what kind of sandwich are you eating over there, Mr. LGBTQ? 317 00:13:56,413 --> 00:13:57,437 - A BLT. 318 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,313 - Uh, a little less forced. 319 00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:01,493 - A BLT. 320 00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,083 - And, cut. 321 00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:06,730 That's a wrap. 322 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:08,676 - Okay, I'll have this edited in and up 323 00:14:08,676 --> 00:14:10,653 on YouTube in about a half an hour. 324 00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:13,720 - Thank you so much for doing this, Shane. 325 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,630 You are such a doll. 326 00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:16,784 - No biggie. 327 00:14:16,784 --> 00:14:17,870 Glad I could help. 328 00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:19,190 - Uh, can I get you anything to drink? 329 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,958 You want, like, a rum 'n coke? 330 00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:22,980 - Uh, you have any orange juice? 331 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:25,110 - Yes, I do, in fact. 332 00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:27,470 I have now officially joined the LGBTQ community 333 00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:29,210 because I am, in fact, a Q because I'm questioning 334 00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:30,860 what the fuck the letter Q means. 335 00:14:31,893 --> 00:14:32,730 I make a pretty bad-ass screwdriver. 336 00:14:32,730 --> 00:14:34,760 Am I making myself perfectly queer? 337 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,293 Hey, Lulu, um, didn't you say 338 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:40,010 that you have some editing software back at home 339 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:42,230 on your home computer that you could use? 340 00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:44,400 - It really doesn't matter, I um... 341 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,380 Oh, you know, yeah, 342 00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:48,530 I have some better software at home. 343 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:49,363 Um, I'll see you tomorrow. 344 00:14:49,363 --> 00:14:50,700 Nice meeting you, Shane. 345 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:52,247 - Oh, bye, Lulu. - Bye. 346 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:55,600 - So you wanna screwdriver, Shane? 347 00:14:57,017 --> 00:14:59,310 - Uh, to be honest, I never really liked 348 00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:00,303 the taste of vodka. 349 00:15:04,046 --> 00:15:07,237 - Then why don't we cut to the fucking chase then. 350 00:15:07,237 --> 00:15:09,904 (intense music) 351 00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:19,072 ♪ Blasted all over the papers ♪ 352 00:15:19,072 --> 00:15:22,786 ♪ Blurted all over the news ♪ 353 00:15:22,786 --> 00:15:27,117 ♪ Some things you wanna do some say aren't good for you ♪ 354 00:15:27,117 --> 00:15:31,465 ♪ Some say that you should say no ♪ 355 00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:35,518 ♪ Oh, there's that N-word again ♪ 356 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:39,717 ♪ I hear it wherever I go ♪ 357 00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:44,717 ♪ Oh I've been good now and then the moon shinin' brightly ♪ 358 00:15:45,542 --> 00:15:48,609 ♪ You do so excite me tonight ♪ 359 00:15:48,609 --> 00:15:53,119 ♪ Babe i just can't say no ♪ 360 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:56,369 ♪ I just can't say no. ♪ 361 00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,529 - What the fuck is this thing? 362 00:16:01,529 --> 00:16:04,596 - It's, it's, uh, part of my study for my PhD. 363 00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:05,476 - What? 364 00:16:05,476 --> 00:16:07,100 - It it, it measures my pulse rate. 365 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,860 - Uh, well, your pulse rate 366 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:10,440 is about to go through the fucking roof, Buddy. 367 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:11,970 Okay, my yoga pants are entangled in this. 368 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,480 Can we undo this thing? 369 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,313 Can we take it off? - No, no, no, I can't. 370 00:16:14,313 --> 00:16:15,690 It would, uh, ruin the study. 371 00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:16,597 It, it has to stay on 24/7 372 00:16:16,597 --> 00:16:19,033 or it leaves a gap in the data. 373 00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:22,846 ♪ No ♪ 374 00:16:22,846 --> 00:16:23,679 ♪ Just can't say ♪ 375 00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:24,512 - Fuck! 376 00:16:25,804 --> 00:16:27,971 (beeping) 377 00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:35,950 (dial tone rings) 378 00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:37,560 - LAPD. - This is DOC Officer Daniels 379 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,033 reporting a GPS disable attempt in progress. 380 00:16:41,337 --> 00:16:42,312 ♪ Give it to me one time ♪ 381 00:16:42,312 --> 00:16:43,145 - Finally! 382 00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,830 Why is your ankle monitor blinking? 383 00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:49,663 - I don't know. 384 00:16:49,663 --> 00:16:50,833 It's never done that before. 385 00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:55,053 - Does this mean your pulse rate is rising? 386 00:16:55,053 --> 00:16:57,553 - That and a few other things. 387 00:16:59,255 --> 00:17:01,103 - I like it when a guy goes down on me first. 388 00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:04,083 - Well, tonight's your lucky night. 389 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:09,511 ♪ Just can't say no ♪ 390 00:17:09,511 --> 00:17:12,113 ♪ Here is a highway less traveled ♪ 391 00:17:12,113 --> 00:17:14,276 - Yeah, baby, show me what you've got. 392 00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:17,144 ♪ Where there's adventure within ♪ 393 00:17:17,144 --> 00:17:21,505 ♪ If life's what you make it let's run through it naked ♪ 394 00:17:21,505 --> 00:17:24,265 ♪ just meet me right after the show ♪ 395 00:17:24,265 --> 00:17:25,470 (rapid knocking) 396 00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:27,424 ♪ Let's go now, oh ♪ 397 00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:28,257 - LAPD! 398 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:29,090 Open up! 399 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,810 - Yeah. (moaning) 400 00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:32,812 That's it! 401 00:17:32,812 --> 00:17:33,693 That's it! 402 00:17:33,693 --> 00:17:34,526 Oh! 403 00:17:34,526 --> 00:17:35,429 Oh my God! 404 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,432 Yes! 405 00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:37,938 Oh! (rapid knocking) 406 00:17:37,938 --> 00:17:39,293 - LAPD! 407 00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:40,756 Open the door! 408 00:17:40,756 --> 00:17:43,656 (moaning) 409 00:17:43,656 --> 00:17:46,656 ♪ Just can't say no ♪ 410 00:17:49,004 --> 00:17:50,236 - [Karol] Yeah that's it! 411 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,365 Oh, right there! 412 00:17:51,365 --> 00:17:53,840 (moaning) 413 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,533 ♪ I just can't say no ♪ 414 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,616 ♪ Just can't say ♪ 415 00:17:58,616 --> 00:18:00,458 ♪ Just can't say no ♪ 416 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:01,890 ♪ Just can't say ♪ 417 00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:02,723 - Oh, what the fuck? 418 00:18:02,723 --> 00:18:03,556 - LAPD! 419 00:18:03,556 --> 00:18:04,910 Keep your hands in the air! 420 00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,599 - You have no right to barge in like this! 421 00:18:06,599 --> 00:18:08,289 - Shane Mathias Antar? 422 00:18:08,289 --> 00:18:09,890 - Yes. 423 00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:13,130 - You're under arrest for parole violation. 424 00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:14,620 - Parole? 425 00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,583 - Tampering with your GPS device. 426 00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:24,193 Put your pants on, Kid. 427 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:29,630 - You said that your GPS was for your PHD project. 428 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:32,360 Yeah, yeah, pulse rate, my ass! 429 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:33,193 - I'm sorry, Karol. 430 00:18:33,193 --> 00:18:34,026 I lied. 431 00:18:35,229 --> 00:18:38,000 I spent the last seven years in prison for bank robbery. 432 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:38,853 - Oh, uh-huh. 433 00:18:38,853 --> 00:18:40,010 Bank robbery. 434 00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,150 What's it gonna be next, you know, 435 00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:42,638 my last ex-boyfriend was a car thief. 436 00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:43,700 Who's it gonna be now? 437 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,086 An ax murderer? 438 00:18:45,086 --> 00:18:47,430 - Turn around and put your hands behind your back. 439 00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:50,862 Excuse me, hey! 440 00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:52,063 Where are you going? 441 00:18:52,921 --> 00:18:54,064 - Mm, there. 442 00:18:54,064 --> 00:18:55,903 - What is your name? 443 00:18:55,903 --> 00:18:57,737 - Karol. - Karol what? 444 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,292 - Angelikis. 445 00:18:59,292 --> 00:19:01,390 - Do you have any ID, Karol Angelikis? 446 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,023 - Oh my God, I cannot believe this. 447 00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:07,140 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? 448 00:19:08,433 --> 00:19:09,590 Ow! - Hey! 449 00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:11,840 You can't go fishing in my underwear like that! 450 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,240 - I'm searching for weapons. 451 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,190 - Private property. 452 00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:18,233 - Oh, oh, oh. 453 00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:20,130 - That's not a weapon, FYI. 454 00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:22,630 That's, uh, I, I-- 455 00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:25,603 - In the wrong hands anything can become a weapon. 456 00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:29,510 Thank God we got him before he skipped town. 457 00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:31,037 - Um, who are you? 458 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:33,310 - He's my parole officer. 459 00:19:34,810 --> 00:19:36,670 - You screwed up, Shane. 460 00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:38,570 Guess who's going back to Victorville? 461 00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:40,653 - Come on. 462 00:19:42,037 --> 00:19:44,443 Say goodbye, Gracie. 463 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,990 - Curt Dunkin, FBI. 464 00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,650 I just received orders to take Mr. Antar 465 00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:55,723 into federal custody. 466 00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:57,973 - On whose authority? 467 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,550 - Thomasine Woodley, Deputy Director 468 00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:03,100 of the National Security Agency 469 00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,700 and United States Cyber Command. 470 00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:08,070 - Can't get much higher than that now, can ya? 471 00:20:08,070 --> 00:20:09,420 - I'm Shane's parole officer 472 00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,000 from the Department of Corrections. 473 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,550 Would someone mind telling me 474 00:20:12,550 --> 00:20:14,864 what this is all about? 475 00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:16,053 - I'm sorry. 476 00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:18,639 That's classified. 477 00:20:18,639 --> 00:20:21,306 (intense music) 478 00:20:26,983 --> 00:20:28,030 - Wipe your mouth, Shane. 479 00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:29,880 You look like you ate a glazed donut. 480 00:20:44,505 --> 00:20:46,660 What do you know about the Gam Cam Grrl? 481 00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:48,910 - Today is the first day I even heard of her. 482 00:20:49,778 --> 00:20:50,778 It was on the radio. 483 00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:53,420 I saw the article in The Times too. 484 00:20:54,310 --> 00:20:55,870 Oh, and this girl on the train showed it to me 485 00:20:55,870 --> 00:20:56,703 on her phone. 486 00:20:57,830 --> 00:20:59,480 - This morning she relayed a message 487 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,823 in Morse Code. 488 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:06,020 14 numbers identical to your Prison Register ID 489 00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:07,013 and release date. 490 00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:09,510 - Has to be a coincidence. 491 00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:12,880 - Coincidence, with the odds a million times 492 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,790 higher than winning the lottery. 493 00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,180 - I'm telling you: I didn't even know 494 00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:18,150 about her till today. 495 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:20,180 I'm not allowed to use the internet so I get 496 00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,320 my news the old-fashioned way. 497 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,330 You know: newspapers and TV. 498 00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:26,010 Sometimes even the radio. 499 00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:28,440 - We're willing to pay you $5,000 a week 500 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,020 plus medical and dental. 501 00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:32,450 We'll get the DOC to drop the restrictions 502 00:21:32,450 --> 00:21:33,590 on your internet access 503 00:21:33,590 --> 00:21:35,973 just help us find who's responsible for this. 504 00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:41,335 - I really appreciate the job offer, 505 00:21:41,335 --> 00:21:43,140 but like I said: I don't want to work 506 00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:43,973 for the NSA. 507 00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,220 I'd rather work at the grocery store. 508 00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:50,410 - The third house on the right. 509 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,160 - How do you know where I live? 510 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,693 - Shane, the NSA knows everything. 511 00:22:09,532 --> 00:22:12,115 (gentle music) 512 00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:48,035 - Hey, wanna heat dinner for you? 513 00:22:48,035 --> 00:22:49,150 - No, that's fine, I already ate. 514 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,020 I had a sandwich at the comedy club. 515 00:22:51,020 --> 00:22:51,853 - Oh. 516 00:22:51,853 --> 00:22:53,242 Hey, how's your date? 517 00:22:53,242 --> 00:22:54,423 - Not so good. 518 00:22:55,660 --> 00:22:58,510 Started out fine, but things sort of ended 519 00:22:58,510 --> 00:22:59,701 on a sour note. 520 00:22:59,701 --> 00:23:01,201 - What went wrong? 521 00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,768 - Yeah, I didn't want her to know 522 00:23:03,768 --> 00:23:04,720 I was a convicted felon. 523 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,340 So I lied about who I was. 524 00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:08,760 - You don't have to lie. 525 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:09,960 Just be yourself. 526 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,123 Somebody will love you the way you are. 527 00:23:13,123 --> 00:23:14,206 - Right, Mom. 528 00:23:16,801 --> 00:23:20,070 ♪ She's gonna start at your feet ♪ 529 00:23:20,070 --> 00:23:21,516 - [MC] Let's give a warm, Mata Hari Club welcome 530 00:23:21,516 --> 00:23:25,283 for the Miss, Lovely, Karol Angelikis! 531 00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:29,362 - How many times do I have to tell you, Karol? 532 00:23:29,362 --> 00:23:30,862 All men are liars. 533 00:23:32,570 --> 00:23:36,400 - Thank you, Harold. - Just like your father. 534 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,210 - Yeah, you're probably right about that. 535 00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:41,096 And I want to thank all of you for coming out tonight. 536 00:23:41,096 --> 00:23:41,929 And while I'm thanking everybody 537 00:23:41,929 --> 00:23:45,460 for coming I wanna call out a special thanks to you, Harold, 538 00:23:45,460 --> 00:23:47,620 for not coming, 539 00:23:47,620 --> 00:23:49,273 in my mouth last night. 540 00:23:49,273 --> 00:23:50,661 Any LGBT folks in the audience tonight? 541 00:23:50,661 --> 00:23:51,955 C'mon, you! 542 00:23:51,955 --> 00:23:53,887 - What, are you watching television? 543 00:23:53,887 --> 00:23:55,880 - No, it's my YouTube video from last night. 544 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,880 I only have five views. 545 00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:58,713 Did you watch it, Mom? 546 00:23:58,713 --> 00:24:00,253 I sent you the link. 547 00:24:01,348 --> 00:24:04,230 - When are you gonna get a real job, Karol? 548 00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:06,360 You're almost 30 years old. 549 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,220 - Comedy is a real job, Mom! 550 00:24:08,220 --> 00:24:09,780 Come on, we've had this conversation like 551 00:24:09,780 --> 00:24:11,243 a million times. 552 00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:14,110 - I cannot be supporting you the rest 553 00:24:14,110 --> 00:24:14,963 of your life. 554 00:24:16,030 --> 00:24:18,850 You need to get a real job. 555 00:24:18,850 --> 00:24:20,973 You need to find a decent man. 556 00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:23,300 And you need to settle down 557 00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:24,133 before it's too late! 558 00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:25,800 - I rest my case, ladies and gentlemen. 559 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,378 - You know and stop sleeping 560 00:24:27,378 --> 00:24:30,017 with all those criminals you keep bringing home. 561 00:24:30,017 --> 00:24:32,610 - The happy nap DNA analysis traces Shane's 562 00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:35,660 lineage back to Emperor Genghis Khan. 563 00:24:35,660 --> 00:24:37,780 - Who isn't related to Genghis Khan? 564 00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:39,300 The guy had over 4,000 children 565 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:41,690 with more than 2,000 wives. 566 00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:44,010 Do the exponential math on that one. 567 00:24:44,010 --> 00:24:45,610 - She's waking the wombat again. 568 00:24:47,980 --> 00:24:51,240 - 7:30 a.m., Pacific Standard time. 569 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,269 - [Both] Same time as yesterday. 570 00:24:53,269 --> 00:24:54,530 - [Lydia] And the day before. 571 00:24:54,530 --> 00:24:56,580 - She seems to be establishing a fixed 572 00:24:56,580 --> 00:24:59,581 event schedule like the broadcast networks do. 573 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:02,760 - To get the audience to tune in at a specific time. 574 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,000 Why? 575 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,830 - Twice as much usage as yesterday's wombat awakening. 576 00:25:06,830 --> 00:25:07,663 - That's why. 577 00:25:07,663 --> 00:25:09,280 She's growing her audience. 578 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,340 When was the last time she watered the calla lilies? 579 00:25:12,340 --> 00:25:16,900 - About 3 1/2 hours ago at 3:43. 580 00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:18,650 - This is different. 581 00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:20,140 - Yesterday it was blinking the lights 582 00:25:20,140 --> 00:25:21,990 in Morse Code. 583 00:25:21,990 --> 00:25:23,393 - Today it's blackjack? 584 00:25:24,380 --> 00:25:26,220 - I see more than two cards. 585 00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:28,840 - New style of Texas Hold 'Em, maybe? 586 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,190 - She's definitely got something up her sleeve. 587 00:25:34,210 --> 00:25:36,750 - My name is Cami Fawlkes. 588 00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:48,500 I think outside the box? 589 00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,313 - Apparently Fawlkes is pronounced Fox. 590 00:25:55,070 --> 00:25:56,363 - The name of me. 591 00:26:00,410 --> 00:26:01,763 Contains the key. 592 00:26:07,030 --> 00:26:08,543 To opening the locks. 593 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:10,723 - It's a poem. 594 00:26:12,810 --> 00:26:15,213 The name of me contains the key. 595 00:26:17,130 --> 00:26:19,620 - It's almost like Guy Fawkes, 596 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:21,770 except she spells her name with an L in it. 597 00:26:22,621 --> 00:26:23,871 - Maybe the L is the key? 598 00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:26,780 - Let's run the full limerick 599 00:26:26,780 --> 00:26:29,600 through the Jaguar at Oak Ridge, see if it can uncover 600 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:30,500 any hidden gems. 601 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:33,000 - Any luck getting Shane Antar on board to join our team? 602 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,150 - No, I drew a blank. 603 00:26:35,150 --> 00:26:38,400 I did get a good read on him on our ride home last night. 604 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:39,600 He's an altruist, for sure, 605 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,940 but with this self-righteous streak. 606 00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:45,360 Possibly even a trace of what they like to call 607 00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:47,880 The Mighty Mouse Syndrome. 608 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,130 - He wants to be the one who saves the day! 609 00:26:51,130 --> 00:26:52,210 - Exactly. 610 00:26:52,210 --> 00:26:54,942 - Well, If we wanna catch Mighty Mouse, 611 00:26:54,942 --> 00:26:57,533 I think I found the perfect damsel in distress. 612 00:27:01,722 --> 00:27:03,020 - I should have listened to my mother. 613 00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:05,040 I mean, she warned me about dating criminals. 614 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,570 But did I listen? 615 00:27:06,570 --> 00:27:07,630 Of course not. 616 00:27:07,630 --> 00:27:09,830 So last night I went home with this convicted felon. 617 00:27:09,830 --> 00:27:10,750 Bank robber. 618 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:12,570 Just got out on parole. 619 00:27:12,570 --> 00:27:13,850 I'll call him Mr. LGBTQ 620 00:27:13,850 --> 00:27:16,770 because he was sitting right there eating his BLT. 621 00:27:16,770 --> 00:27:18,150 So we get back to my apartment and he starts 622 00:27:18,150 --> 00:27:20,120 going down on me and you know how some guys 623 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:21,760 just kind of dawdle around down there like 624 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:23,290 they're about to fill out a government form to ride 625 00:27:23,290 --> 00:27:24,160 the wild bull in the rodeo, 626 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,690 but this guy was no slouch, okay, 627 00:27:25,690 --> 00:27:27,020 this guy knew his geography, 628 00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:29,070 and when I say Geography it's with a Capital G, 629 00:27:29,070 --> 00:27:31,180 like G-spot, ladies! 630 00:27:31,180 --> 00:27:33,250 Okay, so he's eating me out and I'm sitting there thinking 631 00:27:33,250 --> 00:27:34,500 where the fuck did this guy 632 00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:35,720 learn to eat pussy like this? 633 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,200 He sure as shit wasn't gettin' no pussy in prison! 634 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,100 I mean, maybe he's some kind of like fucking prodigy 635 00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:40,933 like Mozart or something. 636 00:27:40,933 --> 00:27:41,800 I don't know. 637 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,835 Whatever the case, but there I was on my bed 638 00:27:43,835 --> 00:27:45,460 blasting off like a fucking rocket ship 639 00:27:45,460 --> 00:27:48,610 to Mars when hey, what's this? 640 00:27:48,610 --> 00:27:50,050 Deja vu all over again? 641 00:27:50,050 --> 00:27:51,900 - Caroline Miriam Angelikis? 642 00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:53,430 - Uh, yeah? 643 00:27:53,430 --> 00:27:55,004 Is there a problem? 644 00:27:55,004 --> 00:27:56,640 - We have a warrant for your arrest. 645 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:57,473 - Wait, arrest? 646 00:27:57,473 --> 00:27:58,620 For what? 647 00:27:58,620 --> 00:28:00,703 - Assaulting a police officer in the line of duty. 648 00:28:00,703 --> 00:28:02,720 - Huh, oh, yeah yeah, I saw this act 649 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,280 at a friend's bachelorette party one time, yeah. 650 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:05,890 Um, where's the boom box, guys? 651 00:28:05,890 --> 00:28:08,032 Did one of my friends put you up to this? 652 00:28:08,032 --> 00:28:09,761 - Step down, please. - What? 653 00:28:09,761 --> 00:28:11,159 - You have the right to remain silent. 654 00:28:11,159 --> 00:28:12,037 - Oh, okay, wait! 655 00:28:12,037 --> 00:28:13,287 This is getting way too realistic here. 656 00:28:13,287 --> 00:28:15,400 Oh, so the punchline of the story is: 657 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:16,837 if only I would have listened to my mother I could 658 00:28:16,837 --> 00:28:19,811 have just become a dental hygienist and married a doctor! 659 00:28:19,811 --> 00:28:20,933 Maybe a lawyer! 660 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:21,766 Hey, wait! 661 00:28:21,766 --> 00:28:22,780 I could really use a lawyer right now! 662 00:28:22,780 --> 00:28:25,253 Is there a fucking lawyer in the house? 663 00:28:26,656 --> 00:28:29,406 (dramatic music) 664 00:28:30,650 --> 00:28:31,720 I slapped his wrist 665 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,320 because he had his grubby fingers in my panty drawer! 666 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,270 - It's still assault and battery on a peace officer 667 00:28:37,270 --> 00:28:38,700 in the line of duty. 668 00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:41,453 Punishable by up to 20 years in jail. 669 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,640 - The worldwide internet hack known as gamcamgrrl.com 670 00:28:48,050 --> 00:28:49,510 has just completed its fifth day 671 00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:51,650 of unfettered operation without any government 672 00:28:51,650 --> 00:28:53,710 being able to shut it down. 673 00:28:53,710 --> 00:28:57,070 We have Deputy Director of the National Security Agency, 674 00:28:57,070 --> 00:28:58,800 Thomasine Woodley on the line 675 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,070 to discuss the global ramifications of this, 676 00:29:02,070 --> 00:29:03,930 immediately after this commercial. 677 00:29:03,930 --> 00:29:05,110 - Hello? 678 00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:05,943 - Shane! 679 00:29:05,943 --> 00:29:07,063 Shane? - Yes? 680 00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:08,733 - Hi. 681 00:29:08,733 --> 00:29:09,566 Yeah. 682 00:29:09,566 --> 00:29:10,399 It's Karol. 683 00:29:10,399 --> 00:29:11,882 Karol Angelikis. 684 00:29:11,882 --> 00:29:14,080 Um, I'm, I'm really sorry I'm calling 685 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:14,913 you so late right now but I-- 686 00:29:14,913 --> 00:29:17,230 - No, I'm the one who should be sorry for lying 687 00:29:17,230 --> 00:29:18,063 to you the way I did. 688 00:29:18,063 --> 00:29:20,530 - Oh, yeah yeah, that's all water under the bridge. 689 00:29:20,530 --> 00:29:22,720 - Hey, uh, how'd you get my number? 690 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,580 - Uh, they gave it to me here at the police station. 691 00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:28,163 - Are you in some kind of trouble? 692 00:29:29,130 --> 00:29:31,820 - Yeah, listen, okay, I'm in really deep shit. 693 00:29:31,820 --> 00:29:33,694 And they said you're the only one who can pull me 694 00:29:33,694 --> 00:29:35,455 out from under the pile. 695 00:29:35,455 --> 00:29:40,205 ♪ No one is sure of its true destination ♪ 696 00:29:43,470 --> 00:29:45,560 - Okay, here's the deal: if my client, 697 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,490 during his employment with the NSA, 698 00:29:47,490 --> 00:29:51,180 helps to uncover the source of this Gam Cam Grrl network, 699 00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:53,770 he will be granted a full presidential pardon 700 00:29:53,770 --> 00:29:56,880 and his entire criminal record will be expunged. 701 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:57,980 - That's a tall order. 702 00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:05,610 We're gonna have to go through the appropriate channels. 703 00:30:05,610 --> 00:30:08,250 - I think for something as important as this, 704 00:30:08,250 --> 00:30:10,623 you can go right to the top. 705 00:30:12,410 --> 00:30:13,410 - [Man] Sorry to disturb you 706 00:30:13,410 --> 00:30:15,030 at this late hour, Mr. President. 707 00:30:15,030 --> 00:30:16,280 - [President] No problem, Doug, 708 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,980 I was still up tweeting about this Gam Cam Grrl thing. 709 00:30:19,980 --> 00:30:22,150 I think I got it figured out, I've had a lot 710 00:30:22,150 --> 00:30:24,270 of experience in that area, you know. 711 00:30:24,270 --> 00:30:26,190 Know who I think is behind it all? 712 00:30:26,190 --> 00:30:27,610 North Korea. 713 00:30:27,610 --> 00:30:29,680 Think about it: Pyongyang. 714 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,010 Pyongyang! 715 00:30:31,010 --> 00:30:31,843 Get it? 716 00:30:31,843 --> 00:30:33,913 It's just a few letters off from Poontang! 717 00:30:37,852 --> 00:30:38,852 - Thank you. 718 00:30:39,741 --> 00:30:41,047 I'll be on the corner of First and Main 719 00:30:41,047 --> 00:30:42,547 in about a minute. 720 00:30:46,773 --> 00:30:47,606 - Shane! 721 00:30:51,041 --> 00:30:51,874 Mmmm. 722 00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:54,908 Thank you for getting me off. 723 00:30:54,908 --> 00:30:56,520 - You're welcome. 724 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,070 - How'd you do it? 725 00:30:58,070 --> 00:30:59,680 - I just licked the alphabet is all. 726 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,670 - No, no, no I'm not talking about last night, 727 00:31:01,670 --> 00:31:02,816 I'm talking about tonight. 728 00:31:02,816 --> 00:31:03,830 Like, how did you get them to drop 729 00:31:03,830 --> 00:31:05,603 all my charges? 730 00:31:05,603 --> 00:31:07,810 - I took a job at the Federal Building up the street. 731 00:31:07,810 --> 00:31:09,070 Starts tomorrow. 732 00:31:09,070 --> 00:31:09,903 Can we walk? 733 00:31:09,903 --> 00:31:11,500 I have a cab coming for me downstairs. 734 00:31:12,350 --> 00:31:14,190 - Yeah, yeah, sure. 735 00:31:14,190 --> 00:31:15,890 Uh, what's your new job? 736 00:31:15,890 --> 00:31:17,850 - They want me to help them find the Gam Cam Grrl. 737 00:31:17,850 --> 00:31:21,060 - Wait, that cunt that keeps showing her twat 738 00:31:21,060 --> 00:31:22,370 on the internet? 739 00:31:22,370 --> 00:31:23,460 Are you serious, Shane? 740 00:31:23,460 --> 00:31:24,610 That's really funny, that's definitely 741 00:31:24,610 --> 00:31:25,596 not your new job-- 742 00:31:25,596 --> 00:31:26,894 - I'm not kidding, Karol. 743 00:31:26,894 --> 00:31:28,323 That's my new job. 744 00:31:28,323 --> 00:31:30,974 And it comes with full medical and dental benefits. 745 00:31:30,974 --> 00:31:31,807 - Okay. 746 00:31:33,130 --> 00:31:35,181 Hey, uh, why don't we just have the cab take 747 00:31:35,181 --> 00:31:36,670 us back to my place. 748 00:31:36,670 --> 00:31:38,630 You know, we can pick up where we left off last night 749 00:31:38,630 --> 00:31:41,773 you know, before we were so rudely interrupted! 750 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:44,693 Come on in. 751 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,510 Take your shoes off, make yourself comfortable. 752 00:31:58,953 --> 00:32:01,536 (upbeat music) 753 00:32:14,555 --> 00:32:16,319 ♪ I met this lady it was after payday ♪ 754 00:32:16,319 --> 00:32:18,042 ♪ At a mini mall opening sale ♪ 755 00:32:18,042 --> 00:32:20,008 ♪ She was coughin' down pizza said her name was Lisa ♪ 756 00:32:20,008 --> 00:32:21,882 ♪ And she just got let outta jail ♪ 757 00:32:21,882 --> 00:32:23,926 ♪ Said her cell was brimmin' with the kinds of women ♪ 758 00:32:23,926 --> 00:32:25,630 ♪ That the cops pulled off of the street ♪ 759 00:32:25,630 --> 00:32:27,273 ♪ Some were downright friendly and incidentally ♪ 760 00:32:27,273 --> 00:32:29,683 ♪ They taught her the right way to eat ♪ 761 00:32:29,683 --> 00:32:31,424 ♪ Back at her apartment was a work of art ♪ 762 00:32:31,424 --> 00:32:33,521 ♪ That she had ripped off of the police ♪ 763 00:32:33,521 --> 00:32:35,070 ♪ It was quite erotic and she said she got it ♪ 764 00:32:35,070 --> 00:32:37,707 ♪ As a conversation piece ♪ 765 00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:39,151 ♪ Our talk got dirty right around 8:30 ♪ 766 00:32:39,151 --> 00:32:41,001 ♪ And I slowly worked my way down ♪ 767 00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:43,332 ♪ Then my nose got pushed into a burnin' bush ♪ 768 00:32:43,332 --> 00:32:45,091 ♪ So I started rootin' around ♪ 769 00:32:45,091 --> 00:32:48,385 ♪ She likes it over easy ♪ 770 00:32:48,385 --> 00:32:49,357 ♪ She loves it ♪ 771 00:32:49,357 --> 00:32:52,136 ♪ Over easy ♪ 772 00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:53,140 ♪ She needs it ♪ 773 00:32:53,140 --> 00:32:56,023 ♪ Over easy ♪ 774 00:32:56,023 --> 00:32:58,266 ♪ When I'm rootin' around ♪ 775 00:32:58,266 --> 00:33:00,324 ♪ We were topsy-turvy where it gets real curvy ♪ 776 00:33:00,324 --> 00:33:03,331 ♪ We were both by then in the raw then I got too reckless ♪ 777 00:33:03,331 --> 00:33:06,240 ♪ And a pearly necklace just appeared right under her jaw ♪ 778 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,950 ♪ But I kept on goin' till my seed was sowin' ♪ 779 00:33:07,950 --> 00:33:10,126 ♪ And I'd lost that primary urge ♪ 780 00:33:10,126 --> 00:33:11,921 ♪ Yeah I kept on feedin' while she kept repeatin' ♪ 781 00:33:11,921 --> 00:33:14,389 ♪ Sayin' baby I'm right on the verge ♪ 782 00:33:14,389 --> 00:33:17,402 ♪ She likes it over easy, ♪ 783 00:33:17,402 --> 00:33:18,334 ♪ She loves it ♪ 784 00:33:18,334 --> 00:33:21,181 ♪ Over easy ♪ 785 00:33:21,181 --> 00:33:22,885 ♪ She needs it ♪ 786 00:33:22,885 --> 00:33:25,216 ♪ Over easy ♪ 787 00:33:25,216 --> 00:33:29,011 ♪ When I'm rootin' around ♪ 788 00:33:29,011 --> 00:33:32,303 ♪ When I'm rootin' around ♪ 789 00:33:32,303 --> 00:33:36,195 ♪ When I'm rootin' around ♪ 790 00:33:36,195 --> 00:33:39,953 ♪ When I'm rootin' around ♪ 791 00:33:39,953 --> 00:33:42,848 ♪ She needs it ♪ 792 00:33:42,848 --> 00:33:44,112 ♪ Over easy ♪ 793 00:33:44,112 --> 00:33:46,117 ♪ She likes, she likes, she likes, she loves it ♪ 794 00:33:46,117 --> 00:33:47,216 ♪ Over easy ♪ 795 00:33:47,216 --> 00:33:48,321 ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ 796 00:33:48,321 --> 00:33:50,740 ♪ She really needs it ♪ 797 00:33:50,740 --> 00:33:52,528 ♪ Over easy yeah yeah yeah ♪ 798 00:33:52,528 --> 00:33:54,609 ♪ She craves it ♪ 799 00:33:54,609 --> 00:33:56,526 ♪ Over ♪ 800 00:33:58,346 --> 00:34:00,250 - Thank God you don't have that fucking 801 00:34:00,250 --> 00:34:01,850 ankle bracelet anymore. 802 00:34:01,850 --> 00:34:02,970 - Ditto. 803 00:34:02,970 --> 00:34:06,510 Free at last, free at last. 804 00:34:21,309 --> 00:34:22,642 Now if I recall, 805 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:25,607 where we last left off, 806 00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:29,060 was somewhere down here 807 00:34:31,841 --> 00:34:32,674 in the nether regions. 808 00:34:32,674 --> 00:34:34,190 - Oh yeah. 809 00:34:34,190 --> 00:34:36,803 No loss of memory cells there, baby. 810 00:34:38,354 --> 00:34:40,730 Oh yeah, you're really really turning me on. 811 00:34:40,730 --> 00:34:44,910 Which reminds me, I need to turn my phone back on. 812 00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:49,060 Those bastards turned it off when they took 813 00:34:49,060 --> 00:34:50,323 my phone from me. 814 00:34:52,052 --> 00:34:55,770 Oh yeah, no, that's the money, Shane. 815 00:34:55,770 --> 00:34:58,380 Yeah, I meant to ask you where you learned 816 00:34:58,380 --> 00:35:01,759 how to, how to, how to... 817 00:35:01,759 --> 00:35:03,803 347 new messages! 818 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:07,685 Arrest for what? 819 00:35:07,685 --> 00:35:08,750 What the fuck? 820 00:35:08,750 --> 00:35:11,260 - Assaulting an officer in the line of duty. 821 00:35:11,260 --> 00:35:12,170 - Oh, yeah yeah, 822 00:35:12,170 --> 00:35:13,640 I saw this act at a friend's bachelorette 823 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:14,930 party one time, yeah. 824 00:35:14,930 --> 00:35:16,350 Um, where's the boom box, Guys? 825 00:35:16,350 --> 00:35:18,558 Did one of my friends put you up to this? 826 00:35:18,558 --> 00:35:19,785 Oh my fucking God! 827 00:35:19,785 --> 00:35:21,502 12 million views! 828 00:35:21,502 --> 00:35:23,562 I've gone viral! 829 00:35:23,562 --> 00:35:24,566 - Did you see it? 830 00:35:24,566 --> 00:35:25,852 - I can't fucking believe it! 831 00:35:25,852 --> 00:35:27,406 - 12 million views! 832 00:35:27,406 --> 00:35:28,239 - I know! 833 00:35:29,511 --> 00:35:30,590 - 12 1/2 million now! 834 00:35:30,590 --> 00:35:31,902 Oh my God! - Oh! 835 00:35:31,902 --> 00:35:33,741 This is even better than sex! 836 00:35:33,741 --> 00:35:35,900 Yeah, and speaking of sex, look who's here. 837 00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:37,810 Say hi to Lulu, Shane! 838 00:35:37,810 --> 00:35:38,940 - Oh, hi, Lulu. 839 00:35:38,940 --> 00:35:40,440 - Hi, Shane! 840 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,110 - That's what I call doing FaceTime! 841 00:35:42,110 --> 00:35:43,530 - Hey Karol, there's somebody here 842 00:35:43,530 --> 00:35:45,810 at the Mata Hari who wants to talk to you. 843 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,500 - Hey, Karol, how's it goin'? 844 00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:49,203 Look, I wanna bump you up to a featured spot. 845 00:35:49,203 --> 00:35:52,013 Can you be here tomorrow at, say, 10 o'clock? 846 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:54,713 - Fuck yeah! 847 00:35:54,713 --> 00:35:55,560 That's a paying spot, isn't it? 848 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,396 - Yeah, 50 bucks! 849 00:35:57,396 --> 00:35:58,843 - Oh, I'm there! - Awesome. 850 00:35:58,843 --> 00:35:59,870 - Karol, you have to get down here! 851 00:35:59,870 --> 00:36:01,940 There's so many people who want your autograph! 852 00:36:01,940 --> 00:36:02,810 - Look, there she is! 853 00:36:02,810 --> 00:36:03,820 - Look, it's her! 854 00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:04,970 Ah! 855 00:36:04,970 --> 00:36:06,235 - It's Karol Angelikis! 856 00:36:06,235 --> 00:36:08,710 - (laughs) Get down here! 857 00:36:08,710 --> 00:36:09,543 - Okay! 858 00:36:09,543 --> 00:36:10,470 I'm coming right now! 859 00:36:10,470 --> 00:36:11,303 See you soon. 860 00:36:13,310 --> 00:36:15,057 Oh my God, Shane, come down with me to the Mata Hari with me 861 00:36:15,057 --> 00:36:15,977 it's gonna be-- - I'd love to, 862 00:36:15,977 --> 00:36:17,400 but it's almost midnight 863 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,010 and I start my new job at seven in the morning. 864 00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:21,253 - Okay, um, alright, I gotcha. 865 00:36:23,767 --> 00:36:27,559 'My house is your house' 866 00:36:27,559 --> 00:36:30,059 I want you to move in with me and be my boyfriend. 867 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:34,690 - Really, just like that? 868 00:36:34,690 --> 00:36:36,230 We haven't even-- - Yes, no, shush. 869 00:36:36,230 --> 00:36:37,608 I know a good thing when I see it 870 00:36:37,608 --> 00:36:39,012 and you're the best fucking thing that's ever happened 871 00:36:39,012 --> 00:36:39,845 to me, okay? 872 00:36:39,845 --> 00:36:42,700 When I get home tonight I'm gonna ride you like a horse 873 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:44,080 in the fucking Kentucky Derby! 874 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,430 First place! 875 00:36:45,430 --> 00:36:46,800 Blue ribbon. 876 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,430 Blue skies, nobody in the lead. 877 00:36:48,430 --> 00:36:49,440 Just us. 878 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,600 Riding into the sunset. 879 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,533 I'm gonna ride you, your dick, into the sunset. 880 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:55,900 Bye, I'll be back! 881 00:37:03,693 --> 00:37:06,193 (phone rings) 882 00:38:11,700 --> 00:38:14,540 - Chad, I want you to bring Shane up to speed 883 00:38:14,540 --> 00:38:17,421 on everything we have on the Gam Cam Grrl up to this point. 884 00:38:17,421 --> 00:38:18,254 - You got it. 885 00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:19,550 - And at lunch hour, take him shopping 886 00:38:19,550 --> 00:38:20,510 for a new suit. 887 00:38:20,510 --> 00:38:22,600 You can use the agency credit card. 888 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,240 - Thanks. 889 00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:27,430 - We must maintain a certain office decorum. 890 00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:29,530 - Can't dress too cas to sit at a desk and stare 891 00:38:29,530 --> 00:38:31,360 at a vagina all day. 892 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:32,220 - Oh. 893 00:38:32,220 --> 00:38:37,220 That reminds me, Shane, I forgot to give you a copy of this. 894 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,080 The Gam Cam Grrl website not only poses a threat 895 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,810 to national security, but it does present 896 00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:45,370 a unique challenge to our rules 897 00:38:45,370 --> 00:38:48,010 against inappropriate office banter. 898 00:38:48,010 --> 00:38:50,750 Without a system of politically correct 899 00:38:50,750 --> 00:38:53,580 euphemisms in place, it would be hard not to use 900 00:38:53,580 --> 00:38:57,143 words that could be construed as sexual harassment. 901 00:38:58,300 --> 00:38:59,650 - Pretty hefty book. 902 00:38:59,650 --> 00:39:02,100 - Well, there are a lot of words and phrases 903 00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:05,560 that are inappropriate in an office environment. 904 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,813 And the V-word happens to be one of them. 905 00:39:11,679 --> 00:39:13,879 - I mean, it's a pretty cool deal, actually. 906 00:39:14,862 --> 00:39:16,730 Ah, I mean, like, they gave me this new suit. 907 00:39:16,730 --> 00:39:18,707 And look what else I got, eh? 908 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,270 Now that my parole restrictions are lifted. 909 00:39:24,306 --> 00:39:25,139 - Huh. 910 00:39:25,139 --> 00:39:25,972 Yeah! 911 00:39:25,972 --> 00:39:27,610 Now we can, uh, now we can FaceTime each other 912 00:39:27,610 --> 00:39:28,640 when you're at work. 913 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,220 - Actually, the office I work in is called an SCIF. 914 00:39:31,220 --> 00:39:32,850 - SCIF? - It stands for 915 00:39:32,850 --> 00:39:35,810 Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility. 916 00:39:35,810 --> 00:39:38,490 We need to check in our phones at the security desk 917 00:39:38,490 --> 00:39:40,140 in the lobby. 918 00:39:40,140 --> 00:39:41,730 It's kind of funny, really. 919 00:39:41,730 --> 00:39:44,580 The NSA, the ultimate hackers are afraid 920 00:39:44,580 --> 00:39:46,720 of their own phones being hacked. 921 00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:48,853 Just goes to show what goes around comes around. 922 00:39:49,914 --> 00:39:50,747 - What? 923 00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:54,150 Wait, some of these, like, 924 00:39:54,150 --> 00:39:57,510 word substitutions are fucking, like, hysterical! 925 00:39:57,510 --> 00:39:58,620 I don't, I don't get it. 926 00:39:58,620 --> 00:39:59,876 Like, this is real. 927 00:39:59,876 --> 00:40:00,862 Is this real? 928 00:40:00,862 --> 00:40:02,302 Is this like-- - That's what they gave me. 929 00:40:02,302 --> 00:40:03,412 - (chuckles) What? 930 00:40:03,412 --> 00:40:06,220 - You can't say words like penis or pussy 931 00:40:06,220 --> 00:40:09,720 or vagina at work to avoid the potential 932 00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:11,620 for sexual harassment. 933 00:40:11,620 --> 00:40:13,120 - Oh, that's fucking bullshit. 934 00:40:15,660 --> 00:40:18,640 So are you coming to see my show tonight at 10:00? 935 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:19,473 - I'll be there. 936 00:40:20,620 --> 00:40:22,123 Should I order a BLT? 937 00:40:23,251 --> 00:40:24,879 - (chuckles) What? 938 00:40:24,879 --> 00:40:26,930 You're so cute. 939 00:40:26,930 --> 00:40:28,893 I'm really glad you're with me Shane. 940 00:40:29,870 --> 00:40:32,683 Like, you bring me so much good luck. 941 00:40:34,030 --> 00:40:36,240 Like, I have agents coming out to see me tonight. 942 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:38,290 Like, do you know how hard it is to get 943 00:40:38,290 --> 00:40:40,690 an agent in this fucking town? 944 00:40:40,690 --> 00:40:42,475 - Actually, I don't know much about show business 945 00:40:42,475 --> 00:40:44,089 to tell you the truth. 946 00:40:44,089 --> 00:40:44,922 - Well, stand-up comedy is like one 947 00:40:44,922 --> 00:40:46,270 of the hardest fields to make it in. 948 00:40:46,270 --> 00:40:48,690 And an opportunity like this comes around maybe 949 00:40:48,690 --> 00:40:52,373 once in your fucking lifetime, or sometimes it doesn't. 950 00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:56,983 But, when we get home tonight, 951 00:40:58,020 --> 00:41:02,810 I am gonna give you the best fuck 952 00:41:02,810 --> 00:41:05,570 you've ever had in your life. 953 00:41:06,759 --> 00:41:11,759 ♪ There's a door I came through on the day I was born ♪ 954 00:41:13,104 --> 00:41:15,659 ♪ But the truth is I just can't remember ♪ 955 00:41:15,659 --> 00:41:18,909 ♪ Whatever came before ♪ 956 00:41:33,895 --> 00:41:36,395 (phone rings) 957 00:41:37,399 --> 00:41:38,232 - Hi, Mom. 958 00:41:38,232 --> 00:41:39,065 What's up? 959 00:41:42,135 --> 00:41:43,535 - Oh, I, I'll be right home. 960 00:41:44,638 --> 00:41:46,741 ♪ Ooh, while these wheels are still turning ♪ 961 00:41:46,741 --> 00:41:48,882 ♪ I want you to take me there ♪ 962 00:41:48,882 --> 00:41:53,882 ♪ Take me there on this train between stations ♪ 963 00:41:54,805 --> 00:41:57,623 ♪ Chasing the horizon ♪ 964 00:41:57,623 --> 00:41:59,509 ♪ Train between stations ♪ 965 00:41:59,509 --> 00:42:04,154 ♪ No one is sure of its true destination ♪ 966 00:42:04,154 --> 00:42:07,002 ♪ Separate observations ♪ 967 00:42:07,002 --> 00:42:10,358 ♪ Through the different windows ♪ 968 00:42:10,358 --> 00:42:13,221 ♪ Train between stations everyone here ♪ 969 00:42:13,221 --> 00:42:15,231 ♪ Has their own explanation ♪ 970 00:42:15,231 --> 00:42:17,231 ♪ Train ♪ 971 00:42:32,501 --> 00:42:33,334 - Dusty! 972 00:42:41,487 --> 00:42:42,320 - Ma? 973 00:42:44,003 --> 00:42:45,003 Ma, wake up. 974 00:42:45,842 --> 00:42:46,675 Wake up. 975 00:42:55,112 --> 00:42:56,983 - I'm gonna call 911. 976 00:42:56,983 --> 00:42:58,330 - (moaning) Oh. 977 00:42:58,330 --> 00:43:00,660 - So my new boyfriend works for the NSA. 978 00:43:00,660 --> 00:43:04,060 He's on a special task force to crack the Gam Cam Grrl code. 979 00:43:04,060 --> 00:43:06,090 So, that's right, my boyfriend gets to stare 980 00:43:06,090 --> 00:43:08,543 at another girl's twat for eight hours a day. 981 00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:11,650 And to top it off: no one at the NSA office 982 00:43:11,650 --> 00:43:13,770 is allowed to use the word vagina or pussy 983 00:43:13,770 --> 00:43:15,730 or crotch or snatch or coot-coot 984 00:43:15,730 --> 00:43:17,790 or any other normal word that you would usually use 985 00:43:17,790 --> 00:43:19,800 to describe a woman's vajayjay. 986 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,560 No, because they have this bullshit 987 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,640 zero-tolerance sexual harassment policy. 988 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:27,010 I mean, so when they wanna talk 989 00:43:27,010 --> 00:43:28,770 about the Gam Cam Grrl's crotch they have to use 990 00:43:28,770 --> 00:43:31,030 the word proscenium. 991 00:43:31,030 --> 00:43:32,380 Can you believe it? 992 00:43:32,380 --> 00:43:33,560 Can you? 993 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:34,780 No. 994 00:43:34,780 --> 00:43:36,510 Proscenium. 995 00:43:36,510 --> 00:43:38,520 Like, when did our government become so Greek 996 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:39,953 all of a sudden? 997 00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:41,690 And, and then the clit, the clit is called upstage 998 00:43:41,690 --> 00:43:44,440 and then the buttocks is called downstage 999 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,290 and, and the asshole, get this, 1000 00:43:47,290 --> 00:43:50,643 the asshole is referred to as the backstage exit. 1001 00:43:50,643 --> 00:43:53,240 - [Man] Where's centerstage? 1002 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:55,300 - Buddy, if you don't know where centerstage is, 1003 00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:58,100 it's obvious you've never gotten to second base. 1004 00:43:58,100 --> 00:43:59,500 Now, where was I? 1005 00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:01,920 Oh, oh yeah: So when my boyfriend goes down 1006 00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,710 on me now, I have to say: yeah, yeah, right there! 1007 00:44:04,710 --> 00:44:06,970 No no no, little bit more upstage! 1008 00:44:06,970 --> 00:44:08,120 Well, actually stage left. 1009 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,503 No, no, more stage right. 1010 00:44:10,503 --> 00:44:12,680 Like, when the fuck did I become a fucking 1011 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,610 choreographer all of a sudden? 1012 00:44:14,610 --> 00:44:16,490 I mean, with all the frustrated ex-theater majors 1013 00:44:16,490 --> 00:44:18,330 that now work in the Human Resources Department, 1014 00:44:18,330 --> 00:44:21,260 you know somebody's got an ex-Pat Australian somewhere. 1015 00:44:21,260 --> 00:44:22,093 Yeah. 1016 00:44:22,093 --> 00:44:23,330 You wanna know why I think that? 1017 00:44:23,330 --> 00:44:24,163 - [Man] Why? 1018 00:44:24,163 --> 00:44:25,450 - Because every morning when the Gam Cam Grrl 1019 00:44:25,450 --> 00:44:28,140 masturbates at exactly 7:45 on the dot, 1020 00:44:28,140 --> 00:44:29,950 our intrepid NSA overlords 1021 00:44:29,950 --> 00:44:31,117 don't just call it like it is, like, 1022 00:44:31,117 --> 00:44:34,260 "Oh she's fingering herself again, Joe," 1023 00:44:34,260 --> 00:44:36,820 or "She's diddling herself again, Chad." 1024 00:44:36,820 --> 00:44:38,190 No. 1025 00:44:38,190 --> 00:44:40,920 No, in order to avoid being fired 1026 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,640 for inappropriate office banter they have to say, 1027 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,150 are you ready for this, 1028 00:44:46,150 --> 00:44:47,947 she's waking the wombat. 1029 00:44:49,460 --> 00:44:50,633 I kid you not. 1030 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,030 Waking the wombat. 1031 00:44:54,310 --> 00:44:57,070 Those are where your tax dollars are going folks. 1032 00:44:57,070 --> 00:44:58,930 People get paid six-figure salaries 1033 00:44:58,930 --> 00:45:00,819 to come up with this shit. (crowd applauds) 1034 00:45:00,819 --> 00:45:03,486 (siren blaring) 1035 00:45:09,930 --> 00:45:11,630 - I don't want to jump to any conclusions 1036 00:45:11,630 --> 00:45:14,240 until we get all the results back from the lab. 1037 00:45:14,240 --> 00:45:15,660 With the holiday weekend, 1038 00:45:15,660 --> 00:45:19,330 that'll probably not be until the middle of next week. 1039 00:45:19,330 --> 00:45:23,126 Now until then, all we can do is sit back 1040 00:45:23,126 --> 00:45:24,793 and let's hope for the best. 1041 00:45:25,910 --> 00:45:26,743 - Thank you. 1042 00:45:30,495 --> 00:45:31,328 - I'm scared. 1043 00:45:32,290 --> 00:45:33,650 - Don't worry, Mom. 1044 00:45:33,650 --> 00:45:35,250 Everything's gonna be all right. 1045 00:45:36,610 --> 00:45:38,010 Let's try to think positive. 1046 00:45:41,050 --> 00:45:41,883 Okay? 1047 00:45:45,130 --> 00:45:45,963 Okay? 1048 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,393 - Okay. 1049 00:45:51,879 --> 00:45:52,712 Okay. 1050 00:46:22,151 --> 00:46:22,984 - Yeah. 1051 00:46:22,984 --> 00:46:23,817 I'm good. 1052 00:46:57,974 --> 00:47:00,641 (pensive music) 1053 00:47:31,740 --> 00:47:34,063 - I think outside the box. 1054 00:47:43,984 --> 00:47:46,484 (phone dings) 1055 00:48:28,940 --> 00:48:31,523 the name of me contains the key 1056 00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:42,663 to opening the locks. 1057 00:48:47,470 --> 00:48:49,550 - Human Resources had to revise the appropriate 1058 00:48:49,550 --> 00:48:51,950 word substitution guide to compensate 1059 00:48:51,950 --> 00:48:55,100 for the classified terms that were compromised. 1060 00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:57,230 - This is classified information, Shane. 1061 00:48:57,230 --> 00:48:58,690 - You can't divulge it to anyone 1062 00:48:58,690 --> 00:49:00,490 who doesn't have top secret clearance. 1063 00:49:00,490 --> 00:49:01,697 - Yeah, not your mother. 1064 00:49:01,697 --> 00:49:02,710 Not your priest-- 1065 00:49:02,710 --> 00:49:05,410 - And definitely not your foul-mouth girlfriend. 1066 00:49:05,410 --> 00:49:07,010 - I think I have something here. 1067 00:49:09,260 --> 00:49:10,093 - What? 1068 00:49:10,093 --> 00:49:11,560 iMac for sale, 4K? 1069 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:13,160 - It brought up this listing on Craigslist 1070 00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:16,403 for a 2002 vintage iMac selling for $4,000. 1071 00:49:17,380 --> 00:49:19,440 Similar posts for the exact same model 1072 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,830 are going for 10, maybe $25 max. 1073 00:49:22,830 --> 00:49:25,420 So this one is humongously overpriced. 1074 00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:29,470 - How did you come up with iMac for sale 4,000? 1075 00:49:29,470 --> 00:49:33,040 - The letters F and W are worth four points each. 1076 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,611 So I used the numerical value of those in lieu 1077 00:49:35,611 --> 00:49:38,283 of the letters to spell iMac for sale, 4K. 1078 00:49:39,570 --> 00:49:43,400 - Wow, we've had the Jaguar computer at Oak Ridge 1079 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,440 and the entire cryptography staff 1080 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,570 at San Antonio and Augusta working on this non-stop 1081 00:49:48,570 --> 00:49:52,120 and they haven't come up with anything remotely like this. 1082 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:56,063 Shane, this is, well it's bordering on insanity. 1083 00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,350 - Hacking is more of an art than a science, 1084 00:49:59,350 --> 00:50:00,183 in my opinion. 1085 00:50:01,380 --> 00:50:04,780 - So you're going to respond to the ad with a limerick? 1086 00:50:04,780 --> 00:50:06,160 - I'm responding in kind to the limerick 1087 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,563 she dealt in front of her twah, I'm sorry, 1088 00:50:10,490 --> 00:50:14,186 I meant to say pudendum, proscenium, 1089 00:50:14,186 --> 00:50:15,850 proscenium. 1090 00:50:15,850 --> 00:50:17,790 That's what I meant, uh, sorry, 1091 00:50:17,790 --> 00:50:19,200 old habits die hard. 1092 00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:21,890 - We're no longer calling it a proscenium. 1093 00:50:21,890 --> 00:50:24,410 That word has been compromised. 1094 00:50:24,410 --> 00:50:28,590 The new word for that portion of the female anatomy is... 1095 00:50:30,022 --> 00:50:30,855 Hm, the cavern. 1096 00:50:31,810 --> 00:50:33,280 - Cavern. 1097 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,330 I'll have to remember that next time 1098 00:50:34,330 --> 00:50:35,193 I go spelunking. 1099 00:50:36,100 --> 00:50:36,970 - This is serious, Shane. 1100 00:50:36,970 --> 00:50:39,350 It's inappropriate to joke about it. 1101 00:50:39,350 --> 00:50:40,890 - Sorry. 1102 00:50:40,890 --> 00:50:42,223 - Let's see what you've got. 1103 00:50:43,060 --> 00:50:44,920 My name is Shane Antar, 1104 00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:47,680 I'm searching near and far, to find a place, 1105 00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:51,410 for face to face, perhaps your local bar? 1106 00:50:51,410 --> 00:50:53,050 - I had to make it rhyme. 1107 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:53,883 At first I was going to end it with: 1108 00:50:53,883 --> 00:50:58,350 To find a place for face to face to find out who you are 1109 00:50:58,350 --> 00:50:59,968 but I thought that might be a bit presumptuous 1110 00:50:59,968 --> 00:51:02,400 so I ended with the bar line. 1111 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:03,930 So here it goes. 1112 00:51:03,930 --> 00:51:07,150 Where it ends up, nobody knows. 1113 00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:09,400 - You're grasping at straws here, Shane. 1114 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,460 I think that you should spend your time here 1115 00:51:11,460 --> 00:51:13,480 at the office a little more productively 1116 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,960 and I would suggest starting with studying the revised 1117 00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,783 appropriate word substitution guide. 1118 00:51:22,820 --> 00:51:23,690 - Whoa. 1119 00:51:23,690 --> 00:51:24,780 It's almost one o'clock. 1120 00:51:24,780 --> 00:51:26,973 I need to meet Karol for lunch in 15 minutes. 1121 00:51:28,460 --> 00:51:30,190 - And tell her to scrub the classified bits 1122 00:51:30,190 --> 00:51:32,995 from her comedy routine or there's going to be hell to pay! 1123 00:51:32,995 --> 00:51:36,425 (bright classical music) 1124 00:51:36,425 --> 00:51:38,326 - [Announcer] Hungry Lice! 1125 00:51:38,326 --> 00:51:40,576 (grunting) 1126 00:51:45,708 --> 00:51:48,208 (phone rings) 1127 00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:54,633 - Hi. 1128 00:51:54,633 --> 00:51:55,705 - Hi, Shane. 1129 00:51:55,705 --> 00:51:57,260 Sorry, I'm running late. 1130 00:51:57,260 --> 00:51:58,985 - I'm on a tight schedule, uh, 1131 00:51:58,985 --> 00:52:00,520 I went ahead and ordered you a Thai Iced Tea. 1132 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,810 - Thanks, uh, you know what those fucking pricks 1133 00:52:02,810 --> 00:52:03,890 you work for did? 1134 00:52:03,890 --> 00:52:06,330 They took my YouTube post down for my show last night. 1135 00:52:06,330 --> 00:52:07,440 Like, those motherfuckers! 1136 00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:09,560 It already had over 35 million views! 1137 00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,750 - They told me to tell you not to use 1138 00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:13,550 the classified stuff anymore. 1139 00:52:13,550 --> 00:52:15,170 - You knew about it but you didn't do anything 1140 00:52:15,170 --> 00:52:17,380 to stop those fucking bastards from doing it? 1141 00:52:17,380 --> 00:52:19,500 - Karol, I'm just a minnow in a very large 1142 00:52:19,500 --> 00:52:20,403 ocean over there. 1143 00:52:21,510 --> 00:52:22,657 I'm just trying to follow the rules 1144 00:52:22,657 --> 00:52:24,223 so I don't get sent back to prison. 1145 00:52:25,620 --> 00:52:26,453 - Whatever. 1146 00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:33,360 Thank God you got me a drink. 1147 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,693 I'm thirsty as shit. 1148 00:52:39,754 --> 00:52:43,530 Mm, that hits the spot right there. 1149 00:52:43,530 --> 00:52:46,300 So, anything new and exciting 1150 00:52:46,300 --> 00:52:48,830 on the worldwide pussy safari? 1151 00:52:48,830 --> 00:52:50,750 - They really came down on me about talking 1152 00:52:50,750 --> 00:52:51,860 about this with anybody. 1153 00:52:51,860 --> 00:52:54,705 It's top secret, Karol, okay? 1154 00:52:54,705 --> 00:52:57,350 And, besides, I've gotta go in 15 minutes, 1155 00:52:57,350 --> 00:53:00,160 so I'd rather not spend what little's left 1156 00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,103 of my lunch, like, talking about work. 1157 00:53:03,557 --> 00:53:05,807 (slurping) 1158 00:53:16,230 --> 00:53:18,533 - Well, speaking of work, 1159 00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,730 I just signed with an agent this morning. 1160 00:53:21,730 --> 00:53:23,300 - Oh, congratulations! 1161 00:53:23,300 --> 00:53:24,300 - Thank you! 1162 00:53:25,796 --> 00:53:28,697 Oh, um, uh, so how's your Mom? 1163 00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:31,430 - She's doing much better this morning. 1164 00:53:31,430 --> 00:53:32,330 Thanks for asking. 1165 00:53:33,830 --> 00:53:37,000 Gosh, she really did give me a scare last night. 1166 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,880 You know, my father died of a heart attack 1167 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:41,030 while I was in the Pen. 1168 00:53:42,510 --> 00:53:44,521 She was all alone for the past couple years, 1169 00:53:44,521 --> 00:53:45,354 (phone rings) - Oh, shoot! 1170 00:53:45,354 --> 00:53:46,550 Oh my gosh, I have to take this. 1171 00:53:46,550 --> 00:53:47,383 Sorry, hold on. 1172 00:53:48,470 --> 00:53:51,223 Hi, hi, Bruce, well, what's up? 1173 00:53:54,190 --> 00:53:55,127 Jimmy Fallon? 1174 00:53:57,013 --> 00:53:58,660 New, oh right, wait, in New York? 1175 00:53:58,660 --> 00:53:59,713 Are you serious? 1176 00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:03,170 Oh, my God, wait, what time's the flight? 1177 00:54:03,170 --> 00:54:04,417 Hell yeah! 1178 00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:06,650 I mean, okay, okay, I'm there! 1179 00:54:09,610 --> 00:54:10,577 Oh my God! 1180 00:54:11,511 --> 00:54:14,990 (laughs) I just, Shane, my agent just got me 1181 00:54:14,990 --> 00:54:15,950 a flight to New York! 1182 00:54:15,950 --> 00:54:18,840 I'm gonna be on The Jimmy Fallon Special tomorrow night! 1183 00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:19,673 You're coming with me! 1184 00:54:19,673 --> 00:54:21,350 You're gonna come with me to this! 1185 00:54:21,350 --> 00:54:22,183 - It sounds great. 1186 00:54:22,183 --> 00:54:23,368 What time's your flight leave? 1187 00:54:23,368 --> 00:54:24,893 - Oh, it's, it's in three hours. 1188 00:54:24,893 --> 00:54:26,135 - Oh, I, I can't just, like, 1189 00:54:26,135 --> 00:54:28,103 cut out on work like that, 1190 00:54:28,103 --> 00:54:29,760 I'll just, I'll take a later flight. 1191 00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:30,593 - Okay, yeah. 1192 00:54:30,593 --> 00:54:31,426 That's fine. 1193 00:54:31,426 --> 00:54:32,259 I'm gonna text you my room when I check 1194 00:54:32,259 --> 00:54:36,951 into the Plaza, Hotel and it's gonna be so romantic. 1195 00:54:36,951 --> 00:54:38,400 Oh, you know what, I gotta go! 1196 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:39,923 I gotta pack, I gotta get to LAX. 1197 00:54:39,923 --> 00:54:41,384 I've gotta get my stuff together! 1198 00:54:41,384 --> 00:54:44,801 But I'm gonna see you in New York, Shane! 1199 00:54:48,953 --> 00:54:49,953 - [Cami] Dear Shane. 1200 00:54:50,860 --> 00:54:53,910 My favorite bar is the Crusty Cossack 1201 00:54:53,910 --> 00:54:56,463 on Avenue of the Czars in Moscow. 1202 00:54:57,350 --> 00:55:01,603 Meet me there tomorrow night at the Private Masquerade Ball. 1203 00:55:02,990 --> 00:55:06,050 You must wear a mask to get in. 1204 00:55:06,050 --> 00:55:07,860 Bring ID 1205 00:55:07,860 --> 00:55:09,093 And come alone. 1206 00:55:10,490 --> 00:55:15,260 I will show you everything you need to know. 1207 00:55:15,260 --> 00:55:16,093 Cami. 1208 00:55:18,420 --> 00:55:20,370 - It's risky sending our asset into that bar 1209 00:55:20,370 --> 00:55:22,890 all alone without backup in a foreign country. 1210 00:55:22,890 --> 00:55:24,020 - Chad's right. 1211 00:55:24,020 --> 00:55:25,320 What if it's a trap? 1212 00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,423 And they're using Cami's Cavern as bait? 1213 00:55:28,439 --> 00:55:30,470 - The same bait that caused Agamemnon 1214 00:55:30,470 --> 00:55:32,503 to launch a thousand ships. 1215 00:55:33,460 --> 00:55:35,270 - And the war was begun. 1216 00:55:35,270 --> 00:55:37,853 (bright music) 1217 00:55:56,143 --> 00:55:57,910 - This is the mask you'll be wearing 1218 00:55:57,910 --> 00:55:59,493 to the Crusty Cossack tonight. 1219 00:56:00,830 --> 00:56:01,663 - Couldn't you have picked something 1220 00:56:01,663 --> 00:56:04,760 a little more attractive, Mr. Ambassador? 1221 00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,660 I mean it's sort of like a blind date. 1222 00:56:07,660 --> 00:56:09,800 - Oh, I don't think it qualifies as that, 1223 00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:10,773 do you, Gina? 1224 00:56:12,121 --> 00:56:15,780 - I wouldn't call it a blind date. 1225 00:56:15,780 --> 00:56:17,790 - Well, a first date at least. 1226 00:56:17,790 --> 00:56:18,890 It's definitely that. 1227 00:56:18,890 --> 00:56:21,390 - The Frankenstein mask has several unique 1228 00:56:21,390 --> 00:56:23,290 features which are advantageous 1229 00:56:23,290 --> 00:56:27,370 to our communication and surveillance embellishments. 1230 00:56:27,370 --> 00:56:30,610 For example, in this stud-like protrusion 1231 00:56:30,610 --> 00:56:33,670 on the right side of the face is imbedded a small 1232 00:56:33,670 --> 00:56:36,550 camera which gives us a live video feed. 1233 00:56:36,550 --> 00:56:40,970 And here in the left nostril is a microphone 1234 00:56:40,970 --> 00:56:43,820 so we can hear what's going on, especially 1235 00:56:43,820 --> 00:56:46,193 to anyone directly in front of you. 1236 00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:49,393 - Cool. 1237 00:56:52,830 --> 00:56:54,800 - Place this receiver bud in your left ear it 1238 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,450 will allow us to always be in communication with you. 1239 00:56:58,850 --> 00:57:01,360 Testing, one, two, three. 1240 00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:02,510 - Loud and clear, Boss. 1241 00:57:03,453 --> 00:57:04,980 Heh. 1242 00:57:04,980 --> 00:57:07,920 It's like I'm starring in my own spy novel. 1243 00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:11,780 - Oh, but there's one more thing. 1244 00:57:11,780 --> 00:57:15,750 Let's not forget the GPS tracking device. 1245 00:57:15,750 --> 00:57:16,583 - Oh, right. 1246 00:57:18,815 --> 00:57:20,747 I've had some experience with those. 1247 00:57:20,747 --> 00:57:22,110 - Oh, no. 1248 00:57:22,110 --> 00:57:24,790 This particular model does not go on your ankle. 1249 00:57:24,790 --> 00:57:29,173 It's considerably more discreet. 1250 00:57:32,306 --> 00:57:36,139 (singing in foreign language) 1251 00:57:50,936 --> 00:57:51,769 (speaks in foreign language) 1252 00:57:51,769 --> 00:57:54,320 - [Translator] What can I get you? 1253 00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:56,038 - May I have a lemonade. 1254 00:57:56,038 --> 00:57:59,788 (speaks in foreign language) 1255 00:58:01,950 --> 00:58:03,430 - [Translator] Only the best lemonade 1256 00:58:03,430 --> 00:58:05,003 for you, my friend. 1257 00:58:08,500 --> 00:58:10,180 (speaks in foreign language) 1258 00:58:10,180 --> 00:58:11,886 I trust you will find this 1259 00:58:11,886 --> 00:58:12,719 (speaks in foreign language) 1260 00:58:12,719 --> 00:58:14,103 better than expected. 1261 00:58:15,104 --> 00:58:16,090 (speaks in foreign language) 1262 00:58:16,090 --> 00:58:17,063 - [Translator] Thanks. 1263 00:58:18,305 --> 00:58:22,138 (singing in foreign language) 1264 00:58:51,388 --> 00:58:53,888 (phone rings) 1265 00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:57,073 - Hello? 1266 00:58:57,073 --> 00:58:58,380 - Hey, Lover! 1267 00:58:58,380 --> 00:59:00,220 Hey, hey, I keep trying to FaceTime 1268 00:59:00,220 --> 00:59:02,223 you but my calls aren't going through. 1269 00:59:03,128 --> 00:59:04,470 - I can't talk right now, Karol, 1270 00:59:04,470 --> 00:59:06,320 I'm in the middle of something here at work. 1271 00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:07,153 - Oh. 1272 00:59:07,153 --> 00:59:08,230 Middle of something, yeah. 1273 00:59:08,230 --> 00:59:09,100 Yeah, right, right. 1274 00:59:09,100 --> 00:59:11,180 What you're in the middle of is watching 1275 00:59:11,180 --> 00:59:12,120 some other girl's proscenium 1276 00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:13,370 is what you're in the middle of, okay, 1277 00:59:13,370 --> 00:59:14,630 and the thought of this is really starting 1278 00:59:14,630 --> 00:59:16,040 to put a bug up my ass now 1279 00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,030 that we're in a relationship so I, I think you should tell 1280 00:59:18,030 --> 00:59:19,210 your Boss you wanna be transferred 1281 00:59:19,210 --> 00:59:20,140 to a different department. 1282 00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:22,730 - Shane, this is not the time to be talking 1283 00:59:22,730 --> 00:59:23,880 to your girlfriend. 1284 00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:24,990 There's important work to be done 1285 00:59:24,990 --> 00:59:26,540 in the service of your country. 1286 00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:28,900 - I, I mean, come on, let's face it, you know, 1287 00:59:28,900 --> 00:59:31,067 we're talking about some major pussy fatigue here, Shane. 1288 00:59:31,067 --> 00:59:33,540 You know, after your staring at some girl's coot-coot 1289 00:59:33,540 --> 00:59:34,430 all day long the last thing 1290 00:59:34,430 --> 00:59:35,980 you're gonna wanna do when you get home is pay any 1291 00:59:35,980 --> 00:59:37,470 attention to mine and when all is said 1292 00:59:37,470 --> 00:59:40,790 and done I'm gonna be the one that's waking the wombat. 1293 00:59:40,790 --> 00:59:42,537 - We'll have to talk about this later, Karol. 1294 00:59:42,537 --> 00:59:43,550 I'm sorry. 1295 00:59:43,550 --> 00:59:44,383 What the? 1296 00:59:46,260 --> 00:59:48,183 - Uh, I just lost picture. 1297 00:59:51,410 --> 00:59:52,250 Shane? 1298 00:59:52,250 --> 00:59:53,880 Can you read me? 1299 00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,273 Say yes if you do. 1300 01:00:11,653 --> 01:00:12,508 - Uh, Shane? 1301 01:00:12,508 --> 01:00:13,841 Shane! 1302 01:00:13,841 --> 01:00:14,674 Hello? 1303 01:00:15,670 --> 01:00:16,720 Shane, are you there? 1304 01:00:20,982 --> 01:00:23,230 Shane, come on, are you there? 1305 01:00:23,230 --> 01:00:24,560 Come on! 1306 01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:26,880 - Karol, I've gotta go. 1307 01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:27,950 Something just came up. 1308 01:00:27,950 --> 01:00:30,370 - So yeah, I'll, I'll bet something came up, 1309 01:00:30,370 --> 01:00:32,300 I'll bet something came up all right. 1310 01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:34,260 Yeah, you need to let it go back down 1311 01:00:34,260 --> 01:00:36,763 so you can save it for me tomorrow night on New Year's Eve! 1312 01:00:41,046 --> 01:00:43,796 (dramatic music) 1313 01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,480 - The GPS tracker shows Shane has gone 1314 01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,380 into the Men's Restroom. 1315 01:01:13,380 --> 01:01:15,550 Are you having technical difficulties? 1316 01:01:15,550 --> 01:01:16,620 - Yeah, I don't know what's going on. 1317 01:01:16,620 --> 01:01:18,040 Shane's not responding to me so I wonder 1318 01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,513 if his earbud went out too. 1319 01:01:20,789 --> 01:01:22,560 I mean, we're still getting audio I know 1320 01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:24,313 they're not jamming the signal. 1321 01:01:28,567 --> 01:01:30,940 (speaks in foreign language) 1322 01:01:30,940 --> 01:01:33,730 - [Translator] I've always wanted to fuck Frankenstein. 1323 01:01:33,730 --> 01:01:35,343 (speaks in foreign language) 1324 01:01:35,343 --> 01:01:38,777 Ever since I saw my first monster movie. 1325 01:01:38,777 --> 01:01:41,794 (speaks in foreign language) 1326 01:01:41,794 --> 01:01:43,168 Please, Frankie. 1327 01:01:43,168 --> 01:01:44,669 (speaks in foreign language) 1328 01:01:44,669 --> 01:01:47,046 I want you to fuck me right here on the sink. 1329 01:01:47,046 --> 01:01:50,796 (speaks in foreign language) 1330 01:01:51,950 --> 01:01:54,829 Will you please fuck me on the sink, Franky? 1331 01:01:54,829 --> 01:01:55,662 - Yes. 1332 01:01:55,662 --> 01:01:59,412 (speaks in foreign language) 1333 01:02:00,719 --> 01:02:04,469 (speaks in foreign language) 1334 01:02:05,390 --> 01:02:06,950 - [Translator] Oh yes, Frankie, 1335 01:02:06,950 --> 01:02:10,325 I love the way you are fingering my clitoris like that. 1336 01:02:10,325 --> 01:02:14,075 (speaks in foreign language) 1337 01:02:17,370 --> 01:02:18,760 Oh yes, 1338 01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:20,803 flick my little nubbin. 1339 01:02:23,291 --> 01:02:27,041 (speaks in foreign language) 1340 01:02:27,936 --> 01:02:31,693 Will you please fuck me on the sink, Franky? 1341 01:02:31,693 --> 01:02:35,900 (speaks in foreign language) 1342 01:02:35,900 --> 01:02:39,500 Oh yes, what a big monster cock you have. 1343 01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:42,240 It's even bigger than I thought it would be. 1344 01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:43,600 - Ooh. 1345 01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:47,090 Sounds like our asset is seriously engaging his contact. 1346 01:02:47,090 --> 01:02:49,550 - The live Gam Cam Grrl feed is not consistent 1347 01:02:49,550 --> 01:02:50,440 with what we're hearing through 1348 01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:52,560 the Frankenstein nostril microphone. 1349 01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:53,393 - Roger that. 1350 01:02:53,393 --> 01:02:54,430 Shane! 1351 01:02:54,430 --> 01:02:56,990 I am sorry to inform you that the woman 1352 01:02:56,990 --> 01:02:59,150 you are cavorting with is not Cami Fawlkes. 1353 01:02:59,150 --> 01:03:02,005 I repeat, that is not Cami Fawlkes. 1354 01:03:02,005 --> 01:03:04,816 - Oh! (groans) 1355 01:03:04,816 --> 01:03:06,650 - [Translator] Oh yes, yes. 1356 01:03:06,650 --> 01:03:10,387 Ram your big hard monster cock all the way inside me. 1357 01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:11,267 Harder. 1358 01:03:11,267 --> 01:03:12,269 Yes. 1359 01:03:12,269 --> 01:03:13,397 Just like that. 1360 01:03:13,397 --> 01:03:14,276 Fuck me harder. 1361 01:03:14,276 --> 01:03:15,109 Yes. 1362 01:03:15,109 --> 01:03:16,017 I want all of it. 1363 01:03:16,017 --> 01:03:18,460 All of your big monster cock. 1364 01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:19,770 Yes. 1365 01:03:19,770 --> 01:03:23,195 Yes, fuck me, fuck me, give me all of it 1366 01:03:23,195 --> 01:03:25,999 you big fucking hunk of manhood, you. 1367 01:03:25,999 --> 01:03:27,486 Oh yes. 1368 01:03:27,486 --> 01:03:28,488 Yes. 1369 01:03:28,488 --> 01:03:29,571 Oh, God, yes! 1370 01:03:33,264 --> 01:03:35,431 (moaning) 1371 01:03:40,139 --> 01:03:42,379 Yes, give me all of it. 1372 01:03:42,379 --> 01:03:43,462 Yes, oh, yes. 1373 01:03:47,525 --> 01:03:50,255 Yes, yes, oh, yes, fuck me. 1374 01:03:50,255 --> 01:03:52,223 Give me all of it you big fucking hunk 1375 01:03:52,223 --> 01:03:54,067 of manhood, you. 1376 01:03:54,067 --> 01:03:56,234 (farting) 1377 01:04:08,050 --> 01:04:10,200 Could you repeat that, please? 1378 01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:11,620 I didn't quite understand 1379 01:04:11,620 --> 01:04:13,227 what you said. 1380 01:04:13,227 --> 01:04:15,977 (toilet flushes) 1381 01:04:19,700 --> 01:04:22,283 (upbeat music) 1382 01:04:36,713 --> 01:04:37,717 - He's on the move! 1383 01:04:37,717 --> 01:04:38,830 He's leaving the Crusty Cossack! 1384 01:04:38,830 --> 01:04:40,025 - We're on it. 1385 01:04:40,025 --> 01:04:42,608 (bright music) 1386 01:04:45,091 --> 01:04:48,341 Okay, head east on Doobensky Boulevard. 1387 01:04:52,310 --> 01:04:54,273 Step on it, they're moving really fast! 1388 01:04:58,975 --> 01:04:59,960 I mean, I can't believe how fast they're going! 1389 01:04:59,960 --> 01:05:02,360 Why aren't the Russian police pulling them over? 1390 01:05:30,740 --> 01:05:33,270 - I feel so lost without my translation app. 1391 01:05:33,270 --> 01:05:34,760 - No need to feel lost. 1392 01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:36,820 I speak perfect English. 1393 01:05:36,820 --> 01:05:39,980 - Oh, so all that stuff back at the bar was just? 1394 01:05:39,980 --> 01:05:41,220 - Showtime. 1395 01:05:41,220 --> 01:05:43,170 To throw the bloodhounds off the scent. 1396 01:05:46,770 --> 01:05:48,403 - Are you Cami Fawlkes? 1397 01:05:48,403 --> 01:05:49,236 - No. 1398 01:05:49,236 --> 01:05:50,069 My name is Brin. 1399 01:05:51,510 --> 01:05:52,720 - Pleasure meeting you, Brin. 1400 01:05:52,720 --> 01:05:53,553 I'm Shane. 1401 01:05:54,690 --> 01:05:56,230 - Do you really want to shake the hand 1402 01:05:56,230 --> 01:05:58,380 that just had three fingers up your rectum? 1403 01:05:59,220 --> 01:06:00,053 - Good point. 1404 01:06:04,540 --> 01:06:06,220 Elbow bump, maybe? 1405 01:06:06,220 --> 01:06:07,697 Heh? 1406 01:06:07,697 --> 01:06:09,470 - Oh, you Americans. 1407 01:06:09,470 --> 01:06:11,570 You always have the most peculiar customs. 1408 01:06:12,460 --> 01:06:13,293 I love it. 1409 01:06:14,226 --> 01:06:16,809 (bright music) 1410 01:06:20,490 --> 01:06:22,390 - Okay, turn right on Sebrinka Street! 1411 01:06:32,550 --> 01:06:34,300 Now right on Zbignew. 1412 01:06:37,085 --> 01:06:38,210 They've stopped. 1413 01:06:38,210 --> 01:06:40,300 We're closing in on the destination now 1414 01:06:40,300 --> 01:06:41,513 which is straight ahead. 1415 01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:59,810 Middle Ring Sewage Treatment Plant. 1416 01:06:59,810 --> 01:07:02,573 - I'd say we've been given a bum steer. 1417 01:07:04,550 --> 01:07:05,383 - Shit. 1418 01:07:29,630 --> 01:07:32,580 - So what's she like, Cami Fawlkes? 1419 01:07:33,810 --> 01:07:37,303 - Most men I encounter, including lesbians like me, 1420 01:07:38,810 --> 01:07:41,537 consider her to be the girl of their dreams. 1421 01:08:18,930 --> 01:08:20,180 - [Shane] Am I in heaven? 1422 01:08:21,780 --> 01:08:22,613 - Not yet. 1423 01:08:24,030 --> 01:08:25,330 - [Shane] Feels like I am. 1424 01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:29,150 - You're probably still high from the ether, 1425 01:08:29,150 --> 01:08:29,983 Darling. 1426 01:08:31,100 --> 01:08:32,630 - Where am I? 1427 01:08:32,630 --> 01:08:34,580 - In a safe place. 1428 01:08:34,580 --> 01:08:38,717 Far from the prying eyes and ears of your fellow employers. 1429 01:08:50,046 --> 01:08:51,594 - You're Cami Fawlkes. 1430 01:08:51,594 --> 01:08:52,427 - I am. 1431 01:08:53,570 --> 01:08:56,763 It is my deep pleasure to finally meet you, Shane. 1432 01:08:57,790 --> 01:09:00,203 You were my hero when I was in high school. 1433 01:09:01,690 --> 01:09:04,020 I followed your trial in the media 1434 01:09:04,020 --> 01:09:05,573 and wrote a blog about it. 1435 01:09:06,740 --> 01:09:08,790 I thought you should have been acquitted. 1436 01:09:09,810 --> 01:09:13,983 I was devastated when the judge gave you 10 years. 1437 01:09:18,710 --> 01:09:20,693 - Do you ever take off the white gloves? 1438 01:09:21,710 --> 01:09:23,640 - Only when I'm awake. 1439 01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:25,780 If I were to start waking the wombat 1440 01:09:25,780 --> 01:09:29,343 in my sleep they could ID me from my fingerprints. 1441 01:09:30,940 --> 01:09:32,340 - Smart. 1442 01:09:32,340 --> 01:09:34,320 So you know the NSA code words. 1443 01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:36,430 - Oh, thanks to your girlfriend posting 1444 01:09:36,430 --> 01:09:37,930 her stand-up routines on-line. 1445 01:09:40,819 --> 01:09:43,737 - Just so you know, they just changed all the codes. 1446 01:09:44,690 --> 01:09:46,640 You won't be waking the wombat anymore, 1447 01:09:47,850 --> 01:09:50,303 from now on you'll be stoking the stalactite. 1448 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:56,053 Oops, I shouldn't have told you that. 1449 01:09:58,050 --> 01:09:59,380 It's classified, shh. 1450 01:10:02,624 --> 01:10:06,791 - So what is the deal with you and Karol with a K? 1451 01:10:07,633 --> 01:10:08,883 Are you in love with her? 1452 01:10:09,967 --> 01:10:11,933 - Um, to be honest, 1453 01:10:13,220 --> 01:10:15,613 the relationship hasn't really gotten off the ground yet. 1454 01:10:16,810 --> 01:10:18,510 We still haven't gone all the way. 1455 01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:22,680 - But you have gone down on her, 1456 01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:25,510 which she has described in vivid detail in one 1457 01:10:25,510 --> 01:10:27,033 of her latest videos. 1458 01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:29,450 - I know. 1459 01:10:29,450 --> 01:10:31,373 It's a little embarrassing. 1460 01:10:34,460 --> 01:10:37,140 - Has she ever gone down on you? 1461 01:10:37,140 --> 01:10:37,973 - Not yet. 1462 01:10:44,470 --> 01:10:48,930 - See, I have found that relationships work best 1463 01:10:48,930 --> 01:10:51,253 when there is a mutual sense of reciprocity. 1464 01:10:55,470 --> 01:11:00,470 Otherwise they can tend to be a little too one-sided. 1465 01:11:03,920 --> 01:11:07,133 - Yes, I, uh, you're absolutely right. 1466 01:11:09,210 --> 01:11:11,150 Like no one wants to be in a relationship that, 1467 01:11:11,150 --> 01:11:15,803 that's just so, oh, yes. 1468 01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:20,930 Yeah, so, oh, too... 1469 01:11:22,550 --> 01:11:25,630 Too, one. 1470 01:11:25,630 --> 01:11:27,740 (moans) 1471 01:11:27,740 --> 01:11:29,140 Sided. 1472 01:11:29,140 --> 01:11:30,306 Hi, this is Shane. 1473 01:11:30,306 --> 01:11:31,330 I can't come to the phone right now 1474 01:11:31,330 --> 01:11:33,380 so please leave a message after the tone. 1475 01:11:36,170 --> 01:11:37,013 - Hi, Shane. 1476 01:11:38,830 --> 01:11:39,663 It's Karol. 1477 01:11:39,663 --> 01:11:40,890 I don't know why you're not picking up 1478 01:11:40,890 --> 01:11:42,710 your phone right now, um, 1479 01:11:42,710 --> 01:11:44,280 but I just wanted to let you know that I booked 1480 01:11:44,280 --> 01:11:47,410 us a hotel at the Plaza for, I got us a room 1481 01:11:47,410 --> 01:11:48,960 for tomorrow night for New Year's Eve. 1482 01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:50,810 You know that shit's fucking expensive, 1483 01:11:50,810 --> 01:11:52,230 I put it on a credit card though because, 1484 01:11:52,230 --> 01:11:53,780 whatever, you only live once, right? 1485 01:11:53,780 --> 01:11:55,640 I decided that tomorrow night for New Year's Eve 1486 01:11:55,640 --> 01:11:57,390 I'm gonna to do a Facebook Live feed 1487 01:11:57,390 --> 01:11:59,470 and what I was thinking is maybe we could meet each 1488 01:11:59,470 --> 01:12:01,260 other at the top of the Empire State Building 1489 01:12:01,260 --> 01:12:02,670 but, um, I heard it's hard to get up 1490 01:12:02,670 --> 01:12:05,250 there on the top of the building on New Year's Eve. 1491 01:12:05,250 --> 01:12:06,880 So I was thinking instead we could meet 1492 01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:09,320 at the tip of Times Square like 41st and Broadway 1493 01:12:09,320 --> 01:12:10,640 and we're gonna meet there and surprise 1494 01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:12,090 everyone on my Live feed because I've got like 1495 01:12:12,090 --> 01:12:14,720 two-million Instagram followers already. 1496 01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:16,610 But when we're done, we can go back 1497 01:12:16,610 --> 01:12:18,400 to the Plaza and we can fuck like little bunnies 1498 01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,610 on the prairie in the middle of the snow. 1499 01:12:20,610 --> 01:12:21,800 Okay? 1500 01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:23,483 Huh, are you down, Shane? 1501 01:12:24,739 --> 01:12:29,739 (moaning) (bright orchestral music) 1502 01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:48,680 - This is a project I am working on. 1503 01:12:49,790 --> 01:12:51,890 I call it Head Room. 1504 01:12:52,880 --> 01:12:55,963 Kind of like a gigantic iteration of the mood ring. 1505 01:12:58,470 --> 01:12:59,493 - It's amazing. 1506 01:13:00,970 --> 01:13:02,820 This is exactly how I feel right now. 1507 01:13:04,730 --> 01:13:06,720 - Think of how you will feel when I give you 1508 01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:10,030 my shadow internet technology and you get 1509 01:13:10,030 --> 01:13:11,280 your presidential pardon. 1510 01:13:13,526 --> 01:13:14,940 - But you're Russian, right? 1511 01:13:14,940 --> 01:13:16,580 - Da. 1512 01:13:16,580 --> 01:13:17,730 - Why would you give your technology 1513 01:13:17,730 --> 01:13:18,843 to the United States? 1514 01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:24,193 - Because right now I am on a Putin-free diet. 1515 01:13:25,110 --> 01:13:28,453 And the U.S. is the last hope for freedom in the world. 1516 01:13:30,165 --> 01:13:32,633 But the reason I brought you here, Shane, 1517 01:13:33,980 --> 01:13:37,733 is I need you to help me hack The People's Bank of China. 1518 01:13:39,450 --> 01:13:40,283 - Whoa. 1519 01:13:41,908 --> 01:13:43,510 You think that's possible? 1520 01:13:43,510 --> 01:13:45,640 - I have been probing their security systems 1521 01:13:45,640 --> 01:13:49,180 for the past year and I have found a back door. 1522 01:13:49,180 --> 01:13:51,850 But there is a firewall with an encrypted 1523 01:13:51,850 --> 01:13:55,430 passcode that uses Chinese characters. 1524 01:13:55,430 --> 01:13:57,660 The passcode changes every hour 1525 01:13:57,660 --> 01:14:00,560 through a random sequence generator. 1526 01:14:00,560 --> 01:14:04,143 I expect to transfer 32 billion yuan. 1527 01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:08,803 That's around five billion U.S. dollars. 1528 01:14:09,810 --> 01:14:10,760 - Billion? 1529 01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:11,800 - Da. 1530 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:13,403 Billion with a B. 1531 01:14:15,150 --> 01:14:19,033 If you help me hack I will give you 5% of the take: 1532 01:14:20,017 --> 01:14:22,193 $250 million. 1533 01:14:28,660 --> 01:14:30,820 - I didn't feel bad about hacking Western Ems Levee 1534 01:14:30,820 --> 01:14:33,850 because that's where human traffickers 1535 01:14:33,850 --> 01:14:36,160 and criminals kept their money. 1536 01:14:36,160 --> 01:14:39,163 But the Bank of China, that's people's savings accounts. 1537 01:14:40,520 --> 01:14:44,860 - I promise I will not touch any personal accounts. 1538 01:14:44,860 --> 01:14:47,140 Only the big government bureaucracies 1539 01:14:47,140 --> 01:14:49,793 and military-industrial complex. 1540 01:14:52,090 --> 01:14:54,970 You can do what you did before with the money, Shane, 1541 01:14:54,970 --> 01:14:57,440 and give it all to charity. 1542 01:14:57,440 --> 01:15:00,690 Or you could start a foundation that cures 1543 01:15:00,690 --> 01:15:03,737 diseases or does some other great good in the world. 1544 01:15:05,210 --> 01:15:08,530 You know, people with no money, 1545 01:15:08,530 --> 01:15:12,670 they can hope and wish and talk all they want 1546 01:15:12,670 --> 01:15:15,720 about making the world a better place. 1547 01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:19,703 But money is what turns those dreams into reality. 1548 01:15:23,430 --> 01:15:25,210 - When are you planning on doing the hack? 1549 01:15:25,210 --> 01:15:26,260 - Tonight. 1550 01:15:26,260 --> 01:15:28,010 New Year's Eve. 1551 01:15:28,010 --> 01:15:32,010 While everybody is partying, leaving the henhouse door open 1552 01:15:32,010 --> 01:15:34,000 for foxes like us. 1553 01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:35,680 Think of all the good you could do 1554 01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:38,223 with a quarter billion dollars, Shane. 1555 01:15:43,100 --> 01:15:44,351 - Okay. - Da? 1556 01:15:44,351 --> 01:15:46,410 - I'm in. - Da? 1557 01:15:46,410 --> 01:15:49,200 Oh, there is also something else 1558 01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:52,443 that I need from you in order for the plan to work: 1559 01:15:55,970 --> 01:15:59,190 I need you to have sexual intercourse with me 1560 01:15:59,190 --> 01:16:01,640 at the time and the place of my choosing. 1561 01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:02,863 No questions asked. 1562 01:16:05,217 --> 01:16:07,300 (laughs) 1563 01:16:08,419 --> 01:16:09,252 - What? 1564 01:16:11,550 --> 01:16:14,543 - What is so funny about you having sex with me? 1565 01:16:14,543 --> 01:16:15,763 - What is so funny? 1566 01:16:16,770 --> 01:16:18,972 I wake up in bed wearing a toga 1567 01:16:18,972 --> 01:16:23,320 with this beautiful woman who gives me head 1568 01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:27,150 and then wants me to be on standby to have sex 1569 01:16:27,150 --> 01:16:28,650 with her at the drop of a hat! 1570 01:16:31,470 --> 01:16:33,580 I mean, look at all this place, 1571 01:16:33,580 --> 01:16:35,040 is this a nut house or what? 1572 01:16:36,510 --> 01:16:38,430 I should have known this was a wacky dream right 1573 01:16:38,430 --> 01:16:39,660 from the get-go. 1574 01:16:39,660 --> 01:16:41,060 - This is no dream, darling. 1575 01:16:41,910 --> 01:16:43,900 This is as real as it gets 1576 01:16:43,900 --> 01:16:47,085 and I need a commitment from you in order 1577 01:16:47,085 --> 01:16:49,513 for our relationship to further: 1578 01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:54,900 I need you to have sexual intercourse with me at the time 1579 01:16:54,900 --> 01:16:58,960 and the place of my choosing no questions asked? 1580 01:16:58,960 --> 01:17:03,803 I need a simple da or nyet and I need it now. 1581 01:17:06,510 --> 01:17:07,343 - Da. 1582 01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:10,463 - Good answer. 1583 01:17:12,170 --> 01:17:14,753 (bright music) 1584 01:17:16,356 --> 01:17:19,189 (dial tone rings) 1585 01:17:21,010 --> 01:17:21,843 - [Shane] Hi, this is Shane. 1586 01:17:21,843 --> 01:17:23,200 I can't come to the phone right now-- 1587 01:17:23,200 --> 01:17:27,920 - Pick up your goddam phone, Shane, come on, It's Karol, 1588 01:17:27,920 --> 01:17:29,300 We're about to start taping for the show 1589 01:17:29,300 --> 01:17:31,960 in fifteen minutes and I was just calling, 1590 01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:33,770 you know, 'cause I just wanna hear your voice. 1591 01:17:33,770 --> 01:17:36,180 You know, I'm, I'm nervous. 1592 01:17:36,180 --> 01:17:38,310 You know, I was thinking this all happened 1593 01:17:38,310 --> 01:17:40,120 so fast and I waited my whole life 1594 01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:42,270 for this and what if they don't like me or what if, 1595 01:17:42,270 --> 01:17:45,673 what if I think I'm good and I actually suck? 1596 01:17:46,680 --> 01:17:49,963 You know, and I'm, I'm so alone up here. 1597 01:17:51,010 --> 01:17:54,770 But, don't forget: tomorrow we're meeting 1598 01:17:54,770 --> 01:17:57,560 at the corner of 42nd and Broadway, okay? 1599 01:17:57,560 --> 01:17:58,420 Remember? 1600 01:17:58,420 --> 01:17:59,373 Times Square? 1601 01:18:00,520 --> 01:18:01,520 6:45? 1602 01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:03,193 Oh, don't forget, okay? 1603 01:18:04,087 --> 01:18:05,817 Love you, Babe. 1604 01:18:05,817 --> 01:18:09,317 (bright orchestral music) 1605 01:18:18,581 --> 01:18:20,290 - The passcode for the back door uses a series 1606 01:18:20,290 --> 01:18:21,660 of Chinese characters. 1607 01:18:21,660 --> 01:18:25,150 So I am going to need you to drive as my wingman tonight 1608 01:18:25,150 --> 01:18:28,030 to help me get through the final hurdle. 1609 01:18:28,030 --> 01:18:30,540 - This Pinyin Input didn't exist back in my hey-day. 1610 01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:33,630 I'm going to have to practice a bit to get my chops back. 1611 01:18:33,630 --> 01:18:36,800 - We will begin the hack at 2:30 a.m. local time. 1612 01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:38,790 That gives you 11 hours to get 1613 01:18:38,790 --> 01:18:40,800 your fingers back in shape. 1614 01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:42,210 - Sorry to interrupt you, Queen Camille, 1615 01:18:42,210 --> 01:18:43,880 but are all systems still go for tonight? 1616 01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:46,020 - All systems are still a go. 1617 01:18:46,020 --> 01:18:47,377 - I didn't know you were a queen. 1618 01:18:47,377 --> 01:18:49,330 - There are a lot of things you still 1619 01:18:49,330 --> 01:18:50,800 don't know about me. 1620 01:18:50,800 --> 01:18:53,810 But you are about to find out. 1621 01:18:53,810 --> 01:18:58,710 Shane, this is Octavia, commander of my Praetorian Guard. 1622 01:18:58,710 --> 01:19:00,340 - Pleased to meet you, Octavia. 1623 01:19:00,340 --> 01:19:01,630 - I missed you yesterday. 1624 01:19:01,630 --> 01:19:02,590 - I missed you too. 1625 01:19:02,590 --> 01:19:03,720 - How was your day off? 1626 01:19:03,720 --> 01:19:05,473 - Not nearly as good as my days on. 1627 01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:10,710 - Uh, don't mind me. 1628 01:19:10,710 --> 01:19:12,760 I'm just the Mandarin encryptionist here. 1629 01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:16,770 - This is Shane, my new partner in crime. 1630 01:19:16,770 --> 01:19:18,460 And my new lover. 1631 01:19:18,460 --> 01:19:20,942 - Mm, lucky you, Shane. 1632 01:19:20,942 --> 01:19:23,623 - Just so you know: all my bodyguards are lesbians. 1633 01:19:24,630 --> 01:19:26,460 - Thanks for letting me know, Cami. 1634 01:19:26,460 --> 01:19:28,020 I would have never guessed it. 1635 01:19:28,020 --> 01:19:31,330 Not after what happened between you and me this morning. 1636 01:19:31,330 --> 01:19:32,445 - The blowjob? 1637 01:19:32,445 --> 01:19:33,891 - Uh, yeah. 1638 01:19:33,891 --> 01:19:35,000 That. 1639 01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:35,853 The blowjob. 1640 01:19:36,910 --> 01:19:41,030 I'm sorry, but it was more than just a blowjob to me, Cami. 1641 01:19:41,030 --> 01:19:43,369 - What was it to you then? 1642 01:19:43,369 --> 01:19:44,202 - I don't know. 1643 01:19:44,202 --> 01:19:45,530 A revelation? 1644 01:19:45,530 --> 01:19:47,440 That maybe, dumb, stupid, 1645 01:19:47,440 --> 01:19:50,530 naive Robin Hood of the Internet me fell in love 1646 01:19:50,530 --> 01:19:52,100 with the woman whose vagina I've been staring 1647 01:19:52,100 --> 01:19:53,403 at for the past four days. 1648 01:19:55,280 --> 01:19:59,443 - I am the B not the L in the LGBT. 1649 01:20:01,990 --> 01:20:04,260 Does that bother you, Shane? 1650 01:20:04,260 --> 01:20:08,067 Who all of Karol with a K's followers know as Mr. LGBTQ? 1651 01:20:11,065 --> 01:20:13,020 - Uh, no. 1652 01:20:13,020 --> 01:20:16,030 - Well, then why do you sound so disappointed? 1653 01:20:16,030 --> 01:20:18,040 - After what happened this morning 1654 01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:20,170 and you telling me about the crush you had on me 1655 01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:22,650 in high school, I was hoping 1656 01:20:22,650 --> 01:20:23,970 that our relationship could be more 1657 01:20:23,970 --> 01:20:26,053 than just a one night stand. 1658 01:20:27,090 --> 01:20:28,543 Or one day stand, whatever. 1659 01:20:30,360 --> 01:20:34,560 - Just because I am an openly bi-sexual woman 1660 01:20:34,560 --> 01:20:37,850 only means that you will have a girlfriend 1661 01:20:37,850 --> 01:20:40,080 with an added dimension. 1662 01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:41,810 That is all. 1663 01:20:41,810 --> 01:20:45,513 I promise you: our relationship will never, 1664 01:20:46,390 --> 01:20:47,583 ever get boring. 1665 01:20:50,240 --> 01:20:53,210 - We were able to retrieve the mask, 1666 01:20:53,210 --> 01:20:55,760 his cell phone, and an old iPod 1667 01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:58,600 that had the woman's pre-recorded voice on it. 1668 01:20:58,600 --> 01:21:01,670 One of our IT techs is doing a voice analysis 1669 01:21:01,670 --> 01:21:02,710 on it right now. 1670 01:21:02,710 --> 01:21:05,130 - Hey, this thought just occurred to me, Ron: 1671 01:21:05,130 --> 01:21:06,920 what if Shane has been in collusion 1672 01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:08,820 with the Russians all along? 1673 01:21:08,820 --> 01:21:10,160 You know, the Morse Code, 1674 01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:11,920 the exchange of cutesy limericks, 1675 01:21:11,920 --> 01:21:14,960 a Masquerade Ball in an off-beat Russian bar. 1676 01:21:14,960 --> 01:21:19,570 - And how would they even know he had a GPS 1677 01:21:19,570 --> 01:21:21,353 up his ass if he wasn't in on it? 1678 01:21:22,330 --> 01:21:23,730 - Exactly. 1679 01:21:23,730 --> 01:21:25,500 There's something about this whole gam cam affair, 1680 01:21:25,500 --> 01:21:27,343 it just doesn't smell right. 1681 01:21:28,680 --> 01:21:30,663 And I plan on getting to the bottom of it. 1682 01:21:31,655 --> 01:21:34,405 (dramatic music) 1683 01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:14,300 - We have gotten to the final firewall. 1684 01:22:14,300 --> 01:22:17,353 Everyone please put on your masks in case of a slip up. 1685 01:22:31,177 --> 01:22:32,427 You too, Shane. 1686 01:22:33,670 --> 01:22:34,503 - Oh, cool. 1687 01:22:38,260 --> 01:22:41,070 At least it's not the Frankenstein mask. 1688 01:22:41,070 --> 01:22:42,680 This kind of impedes my vision. 1689 01:22:42,680 --> 01:22:44,520 - You only have to wear it for a few minutes. 1690 01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:47,070 Just for the distraction phase. 1691 01:22:47,070 --> 01:22:48,520 Okay. 1692 01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:52,963 Ladies and gentleman, it's showtime! 1693 01:22:54,410 --> 01:22:57,400 If Kim Kardashian's ass can break the internet, 1694 01:22:57,400 --> 01:23:00,813 then my vulva ought to totally obliterate it! 1695 01:23:09,090 --> 01:23:09,923 - All right, I'd like to welcome 1696 01:23:09,923 --> 01:23:13,720 all of you to my Facebook Live broadcast. 1697 01:23:13,720 --> 01:23:16,130 It's almost 6:30 Eastern Time 1698 01:23:16,130 --> 01:23:18,550 and I'm almost to the corner of 42nd and Broadway 1699 01:23:18,550 --> 01:23:22,210 where I am about to meet my boyfriend Shane 1700 01:23:22,210 --> 01:23:24,510 who just got back from like Who-The-Fuck-Knows-Where 1701 01:23:24,510 --> 01:23:27,540 trying to hunt down the infamous Gam Cam Grrl. 1702 01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:30,780 Too bad, bitch, because he's coming to see me instead. 1703 01:23:30,780 --> 01:23:34,627 And when we get back to the hotel, I-- 1704 01:23:35,745 --> 01:23:39,995 - Alright, Mr. DeMille, I am ready for my close-up. 1705 01:23:44,219 --> 01:23:45,430 - For you, my queen. 1706 01:23:45,430 --> 01:23:47,378 There's a slight chance of rain. 1707 01:23:47,378 --> 01:23:49,128 - Thank you, Octavia. 1708 01:23:50,854 --> 01:23:52,400 - [Shane] I think I almost got this figured out. 1709 01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:53,840 - Shane, not now. 1710 01:23:53,840 --> 01:23:55,670 Get over here, we don't have time, 1711 01:23:55,670 --> 01:23:57,363 we need major distraction. 1712 01:23:59,010 --> 01:23:59,843 - Whoa! 1713 01:24:01,970 --> 01:24:05,264 - I want you to have sexual intercourse with me. 1714 01:24:05,264 --> 01:24:06,690 - Right, right now? 1715 01:24:06,690 --> 01:24:07,995 In here? 1716 01:24:07,995 --> 01:24:09,220 In front of your whole crew? 1717 01:24:09,220 --> 01:24:10,510 Not to mention the billions of people 1718 01:24:10,510 --> 01:24:12,360 logged on to your website. 1719 01:24:12,360 --> 01:24:15,910 - You said I get to choose my time and place of choosing 1720 01:24:15,910 --> 01:24:17,980 and I chose my here and I chose my now. 1721 01:24:17,980 --> 01:24:20,230 So get to it, Shane. 1722 01:24:20,230 --> 01:24:22,957 - Okay. 1723 01:24:22,957 --> 01:24:26,690 Here we go, oh, I was hoping maybe we could have 1724 01:24:26,690 --> 01:24:29,000 a candlelight dinner first? 1725 01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:30,770 Maybe a walk on the beach? 1726 01:24:30,770 --> 01:24:31,620 Catch a sunset? 1727 01:24:31,620 --> 01:24:32,483 - Just shut up and fuck me, Shane. 1728 01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:36,763 - Someone's about to go spelunking. 1729 01:24:40,540 --> 01:24:42,970 - I said fuck me not finger me. 1730 01:24:42,970 --> 01:24:44,420 - Sorry, old habits die hard. 1731 01:24:56,352 --> 01:24:57,663 - Holy fuck. 1732 01:24:57,663 --> 01:24:59,780 I just got a tweet from my BFF Lulu back in L.A. 1733 01:24:59,780 --> 01:25:01,550 that says the Gam Cam Grrl just got a little bit 1734 01:25:01,550 --> 01:25:02,800 of fingering action a few minutes ago 1735 01:25:02,800 --> 01:25:05,290 and some internet trolls are saying that it's my, 1736 01:25:05,290 --> 01:25:08,637 my boyfriend was the one doing the fingering? 1737 01:25:08,637 --> 01:25:10,540 It's total bullshit, okay, fake news, people! 1738 01:25:10,540 --> 01:25:12,330 Okay, because Shane's gonna be here any minute 1739 01:25:12,330 --> 01:25:14,170 and the only fingering action that gonna 1740 01:25:14,170 --> 01:25:15,760 be happening on this New Year's Eve 1741 01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:20,060 is on this little piece of real estate, right there. 1742 01:25:20,060 --> 01:25:21,850 - The internet report claims of a fingerprint 1743 01:25:21,850 --> 01:25:24,240 match to convicted felon Shane Antar 1744 01:25:24,240 --> 01:25:27,200 has just been confirmed by an unnamed source at the FBI 1745 01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:29,120 This of course proves that Mr. Antar 1746 01:25:29,120 --> 01:25:31,450 has indeed made contact with the infamous Gam Cam Grrl, 1747 01:25:31,450 --> 01:25:34,670 Cami Fawlkes, or rather is making contact 1748 01:25:34,670 --> 01:25:36,176 at this very moment. 1749 01:25:36,176 --> 01:25:41,176 - What the fuck? 1750 01:25:42,565 --> 01:25:44,467 You motherfucking son of a bitch! 1751 01:25:44,467 --> 01:25:46,336 You fucking cheater! 1752 01:25:46,336 --> 01:25:47,810 It's over, Shane, okay! 1753 01:25:47,810 --> 01:25:48,643 It's over! 1754 01:25:48,643 --> 01:25:50,410 It's O-V-E-R, over! 1755 01:25:50,410 --> 01:25:52,210 When I get back to L.A., I'm gonna take all your shit 1756 01:25:52,210 --> 01:25:53,090 that's in my fucking apartment and I'm gonna throw it 1757 01:25:53,090 --> 01:25:54,567 all over the fucking sidewalk! 1758 01:25:54,567 --> 01:25:56,290 And I'm gonna stomp on your face 1759 01:25:56,290 --> 01:25:57,303 on the sidewalk! 1760 01:25:58,540 --> 01:26:03,330 I'm so fuck, wait, wait, no, why, 1761 01:26:03,330 --> 01:26:04,613 why the fuck don't I have any internet connection? 1762 01:26:04,613 --> 01:26:05,713 What the Hell? 1763 01:26:06,670 --> 01:26:08,230 - The internet is down. 1764 01:26:08,230 --> 01:26:09,570 - What time zones? 1765 01:26:09,570 --> 01:26:11,320 - Worldwide. 1766 01:26:11,320 --> 01:26:13,110 - Masks off. 1767 01:26:13,110 --> 01:26:14,890 Shane, get back to your station! 1768 01:26:14,890 --> 01:26:15,723 Everybody! 1769 01:26:27,698 --> 01:26:29,482 - [Shane] We're in! 1770 01:26:29,482 --> 01:26:30,510 - Freeze the UTC clock. 1771 01:26:30,510 --> 01:26:31,570 - Done. 1772 01:26:31,570 --> 01:26:33,000 - Double-zero, double-zero, 1773 01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:34,620 31, automator resume. 1774 01:26:34,620 --> 01:26:35,453 - Done. - Done. 1775 01:26:35,453 --> 01:26:37,410 - You froze the Universal Time Clock? 1776 01:26:37,410 --> 01:26:38,770 - For 15 minutes. 1777 01:26:38,770 --> 01:26:40,590 Any money transfers we make during that time 1778 01:26:40,590 --> 01:26:42,810 won't show up on their internal audits 1779 01:26:42,810 --> 01:26:45,290 for another month and by that time the funds 1780 01:26:45,290 --> 01:26:47,430 will be so laundered they'll never be able 1781 01:26:47,430 --> 01:26:48,858 to follow the trail. 1782 01:26:48,858 --> 01:26:49,836 Poof. 1783 01:26:49,836 --> 01:26:52,050 They'll be gone without a trace. 1784 01:26:52,050 --> 01:26:52,900 - Brilliant. 1785 01:26:52,900 --> 01:26:55,063 - Save the accolades for the after party. 1786 01:26:56,710 --> 01:26:58,950 Still got my east side there, Wingman? 1787 01:26:58,950 --> 01:27:00,756 - Gotcha covered, Pilot Cami. 1788 01:27:00,756 --> 01:27:02,166 - All right. 1789 01:27:02,166 --> 01:27:04,120 Are we still hacked into JumboTron? 1790 01:27:04,120 --> 01:27:05,213 - Yes, my Queen. 1791 01:27:06,207 --> 01:27:09,106 - Put up the pre-recorded video. 1792 01:27:09,106 --> 01:27:11,376 'Yes, my Queen.' 1793 01:27:13,910 --> 01:27:17,580 - Good evening to everyone around the world. 1794 01:27:17,580 --> 01:27:19,744 My name is Cami Fawlkes. 1795 01:27:19,744 --> 01:27:22,810 I am interrupting your New Year's Eve celebrations 1796 01:27:22,810 --> 01:27:25,253 to bring you an important message. 1797 01:27:26,180 --> 01:27:29,930 I hereby declare an end to patriarchal ociety 1798 01:27:31,210 --> 01:27:34,300 that has been dominating our civilization 1799 01:27:34,300 --> 01:27:37,710 for the past 10,000 years, 1800 01:27:37,710 --> 01:27:42,710 and am announcing the dawn of a new age, 1801 01:27:42,800 --> 01:27:46,233 the Age of Mutual Respect and Equality. 1802 01:27:47,080 --> 01:27:49,520 To throw off the ropes and cast off 1803 01:27:49,520 --> 01:27:52,670 the shackles, the mere Free The Nipple Movement 1804 01:27:52,670 --> 01:27:55,140 is simply not enough. 1805 01:27:55,140 --> 01:27:58,010 In order to completely free ourselves 1806 01:27:58,010 --> 01:28:03,010 from patriarchal oppression we must free the vagina! 1807 01:28:04,082 --> 01:28:06,665 (bright music) 1808 01:28:14,333 --> 01:28:18,280 The method I used to create my alternate internet 1809 01:28:18,280 --> 01:28:22,000 was based on pointillism, the same technique 1810 01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:24,773 Georges Seurat used to create this painting. 1811 01:28:26,540 --> 01:28:30,090 Tiny dots of color that when viewed separately 1812 01:28:30,090 --> 01:28:33,459 are meaningless, but when viewed as a whole 1813 01:28:33,459 --> 01:28:36,103 they create a complete picture. 1814 01:28:37,890 --> 01:28:40,530 I created my alternate internet using 1815 01:28:40,530 --> 01:28:43,040 the transmissions of billions of cell phones 1816 01:28:43,040 --> 01:28:44,870 around the world. 1817 01:28:44,870 --> 01:28:47,380 The ground zero transmitter I secretly 1818 01:28:47,380 --> 01:28:50,340 installed at the top of Mount Elbrus. 1819 01:28:50,340 --> 01:28:52,640 That signal was then relayed to other 1820 01:28:52,640 --> 01:28:56,583 transponders on Annapurna Massif, Mount Fuji, 1821 01:28:57,600 --> 01:29:01,460 Denali, Elbert, Illimani, 1822 01:29:01,460 --> 01:29:04,053 Kilimanjaro and Puncak Jaya. 1823 01:29:07,350 --> 01:29:09,510 The millions of cell phone bots within 1824 01:29:09,510 --> 01:29:11,940 their range would receive the bot-dots 1825 01:29:11,940 --> 01:29:15,030 and be re-transmitted through the app on their phones 1826 01:29:15,030 --> 01:29:18,220 into the dark web and fed to their local 1827 01:29:18,220 --> 01:29:20,420 internet service providers 1828 01:29:20,420 --> 01:29:25,060 which no government was able to trace or shut down. 1829 01:29:25,060 --> 01:29:26,520 - But how did you hijack the billions of phones 1830 01:29:26,520 --> 01:29:28,670 around the world to make all your bot-dots? 1831 01:29:29,530 --> 01:29:31,671 - [Announcer] Hungry Lice! 1832 01:29:31,671 --> 01:29:33,468 - [Announcer] Level twenty-one. 1833 01:29:33,468 --> 01:29:34,468 - Brilliant. 1834 01:29:35,462 --> 01:29:38,650 - All the encryptions, algorithms, passwords and passcodes 1835 01:29:38,650 --> 01:29:41,440 are here on this eight terabyte drive. 1836 01:29:41,440 --> 01:29:43,410 Give this to the NSA and you'll receive 1837 01:29:43,410 --> 01:29:44,803 your presidential pardon. 1838 01:29:47,448 --> 01:29:48,783 - Thank you very much. 1839 01:29:50,970 --> 01:29:53,910 - The U.S. Embassy is filled with cameras, 1840 01:29:53,910 --> 01:29:56,220 so I will have Octavia drop you off a couple 1841 01:29:56,220 --> 01:29:57,113 of blocks away. 1842 01:29:58,440 --> 01:30:00,970 I apologize for the blindfold, darling, 1843 01:30:00,970 --> 01:30:03,050 but there is no telling what kind of mind games 1844 01:30:03,050 --> 01:30:04,857 those employers of yours will play in order 1845 01:30:04,857 --> 01:30:07,823 to track my location during your de-briefing. 1846 01:30:17,340 --> 01:30:18,880 Most of what you will tell them 1847 01:30:18,880 --> 01:30:20,663 will be the unvarnished truth. 1848 01:30:22,020 --> 01:30:24,540 But I will need you to sprinkle in a few little 1849 01:30:24,540 --> 01:30:26,523 white lies for good measure. 1850 01:30:27,750 --> 01:30:29,900 - And she never took her mask off the entire time 1851 01:30:29,900 --> 01:30:31,283 you were there? 1852 01:30:31,283 --> 01:30:32,116 - No. 1853 01:30:32,116 --> 01:30:32,949 She never did. 1854 01:30:32,949 --> 01:30:34,130 - Huh. 1855 01:30:34,130 --> 01:30:35,800 Well, the system checks out. 1856 01:30:35,800 --> 01:30:38,250 Including all of the codes for accessing 1857 01:30:38,250 --> 01:30:41,130 Hungry Lice apps on people's cell phones. 1858 01:30:41,130 --> 01:30:44,430 Reconnaissance satellite images confirm locations 1859 01:30:44,430 --> 01:30:45,810 of mountaintop transponders, 1860 01:30:45,810 --> 01:30:48,720 it's everything you said it would be in the de-briefing. 1861 01:30:48,720 --> 01:30:51,170 And our field operative in Moscow managed 1862 01:30:51,170 --> 01:30:52,523 to locate your phone. 1863 01:30:53,584 --> 01:30:54,417 - Great. 1864 01:30:54,417 --> 01:30:55,250 Thanks. 1865 01:30:55,250 --> 01:30:56,780 - Don't turn it on till after you exit the building. 1866 01:30:56,780 --> 01:30:57,613 - Got it. 1867 01:30:57,613 --> 01:30:59,177 Just like in L.A. 1868 01:30:59,177 --> 01:31:01,270 - I find it hard to believe that a woman 1869 01:31:01,270 --> 01:31:04,570 that intelligent would go to so much trouble 1870 01:31:04,570 --> 01:31:08,300 to fulfill some sexual fantasy she had in high school. 1871 01:31:08,300 --> 01:31:11,870 - Those geniuses can do some pretty crazy stuff sometimes. 1872 01:31:11,870 --> 01:31:14,160 Like, personally, I think it was all just a publicity stunt 1873 01:31:14,160 --> 01:31:16,260 to bring attention to her Free the Vagina Movement. 1874 01:31:16,260 --> 01:31:19,200 Oh, or Free the Cavern as you would say at the NSA. 1875 01:31:19,200 --> 01:31:20,790 - I've been given authorization 1876 01:31:20,790 --> 01:31:23,350 by the Commander in Chief to give you this upon 1877 01:31:23,350 --> 01:31:25,653 successful completion of your mission. 1878 01:31:27,210 --> 01:31:29,210 Thank you, Shane, for your service 1879 01:31:29,210 --> 01:31:31,760 to your country, you've gone above and beyond 1880 01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:32,683 the call of duty. 1881 01:31:34,020 --> 01:31:36,490 And if you ever find yourself needing a job, 1882 01:31:36,490 --> 01:31:38,343 the door is always open for you here. 1883 01:31:40,133 --> 01:31:40,966 - Thank you. 1884 01:31:42,686 --> 01:31:47,686 ♪ Why's it taken so long for my heart to get warm ♪ 1885 01:31:50,602 --> 01:31:53,750 ♪ Like a leaf that's been torn its branch ♪ 1886 01:31:53,750 --> 01:31:58,750 ♪ By a violent winter storm ♪ 1887 01:31:59,283 --> 01:32:04,283 ♪ There's a light in a place we've never been ♪ 1888 01:32:04,740 --> 01:32:05,573 - Hey. 1889 01:32:05,573 --> 01:32:06,406 - Hi. 1890 01:32:06,406 --> 01:32:07,239 Hi, Shane! 1891 01:32:07,239 --> 01:32:08,738 Yeah, I'm so glad you picked up. 1892 01:32:08,738 --> 01:32:10,990 I didn't know if you would after all the nasty things 1893 01:32:10,990 --> 01:32:12,520 I said about you on Facebook 1894 01:32:12,520 --> 01:32:14,477 the other night, so-- 1895 01:32:14,477 --> 01:32:16,527 - It's all water under the bridge, Karol. 1896 01:32:17,650 --> 01:32:18,600 Let's let it slide. 1897 01:32:19,610 --> 01:32:21,860 I'm hoping we can still be friends after this? 1898 01:32:21,860 --> 01:32:23,183 - Yeah, me too. 1899 01:32:24,270 --> 01:32:26,490 I started dating somebody recently. 1900 01:32:26,490 --> 01:32:27,970 - That's a pretty quick turnaround considering 1901 01:32:27,970 --> 01:32:29,920 you just broke up with me two days ago. 1902 01:32:31,460 --> 01:32:32,610 So who's the lucky guy? 1903 01:32:33,500 --> 01:32:34,600 - His name's Johnny. 1904 01:32:34,600 --> 01:32:35,760 I just met him last week. 1905 01:32:35,760 --> 01:32:37,310 He's my new manager. 1906 01:32:37,310 --> 01:32:38,870 - Oh, that's great. 1907 01:32:38,870 --> 01:32:39,893 Congratulations. 1908 01:32:41,240 --> 01:32:43,387 Is he the one that got you the gig on Jimmy Fallon? 1909 01:32:43,387 --> 01:32:45,840 - No, no, no, that was my agent. 1910 01:32:45,840 --> 01:32:48,313 I've got an agent and a manager now. 1911 01:32:49,190 --> 01:32:51,654 - Sounds like you hit the big time. 1912 01:32:51,654 --> 01:32:54,990 - Well, I have and that's what I need 1913 01:32:54,990 --> 01:32:57,400 to talk to you about, okay? 1914 01:32:57,400 --> 01:33:00,242 I have a business proposition for you but, 1915 01:33:00,242 --> 01:33:02,640 I don't wanna talk about it over the phone. 1916 01:33:02,640 --> 01:33:03,473 - You're right. 1917 01:33:03,473 --> 01:33:05,445 The NSA is probably listening. 1918 01:33:05,445 --> 01:33:06,330 (chuckles) 1919 01:33:06,330 --> 01:33:08,307 I'm on an 11:30 flight out of BWI. 1920 01:33:08,307 --> 01:33:11,370 and it gets into Long Beach around 2:00 Pacific? 1921 01:33:11,370 --> 01:33:15,580 - Okay, uh, then how about a late lunch at Tubulicious? 1922 01:33:15,580 --> 01:33:18,560 Say around four-ish? 1923 01:33:18,560 --> 01:33:19,393 - I'm there. 1924 01:33:26,210 --> 01:33:27,750 - HBO and all the major networks 1925 01:33:27,750 --> 01:33:29,110 are in a bidding war for this. 1926 01:33:29,110 --> 01:33:30,580 - Yeah, they say Realitcoms are gonna 1927 01:33:30,580 --> 01:33:32,080 be the Next big thing. 1928 01:33:32,080 --> 01:33:34,280 - What's a Realitcom? 1929 01:33:34,280 --> 01:33:36,670 - It's a sitcom but based on a real event. 1930 01:33:36,670 --> 01:33:37,520 - Loosely based! 1931 01:33:37,520 --> 01:33:38,870 - And it stars all the real people 1932 01:33:38,870 --> 01:33:41,031 that actually lived it in their real lives. 1933 01:33:41,031 --> 01:33:43,340 - You know, the important ones, like, you and me. 1934 01:33:43,340 --> 01:33:45,340 - The Producers wanna start immediately. 1935 01:33:47,650 --> 01:33:48,876 - Gam Cam Guy? 1936 01:33:48,876 --> 01:33:49,740 That's what they're calling it? 1937 01:33:49,740 --> 01:33:51,209 - Pretty catchy, don't ya think? 1938 01:33:51,209 --> 01:33:52,710 - I mean, we're each gonna make 50,000 a week 1939 01:33:52,710 --> 01:33:53,640 from this, Shane. 1940 01:33:53,640 --> 01:33:54,540 This is it, okay? 1941 01:33:54,540 --> 01:33:55,890 This is the next Big Thing. 1942 01:33:57,506 --> 01:33:59,306 - I'd like to read the script first. 1943 01:34:00,840 --> 01:34:02,390 - Okay, you can stay in here and read it 1944 01:34:02,390 --> 01:34:04,540 and Johnny and I are gonna hop outside 1945 01:34:04,540 --> 01:34:06,780 for a nice cigarette break. 1946 01:34:06,780 --> 01:34:08,122 - I don't smoke. 1947 01:34:08,122 --> 01:34:09,390 Uh, I mean, uh, yeah, why not? 1948 01:34:09,390 --> 01:34:11,000 Let's go get some fresh air. 1949 01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:12,452 - Excuse us. 1950 01:34:12,452 --> 01:34:15,119 (playful music) 1951 01:34:37,453 --> 01:34:40,442 - Boy, he really is cool as a cucumber. 1952 01:34:40,442 --> 01:34:41,440 I mean, I thought he'd be coming in his pants 1953 01:34:41,440 --> 01:34:43,090 when he heard 50 grand a week. 1954 01:34:43,090 --> 01:34:44,610 - Yeah, me too, but you know, 1955 01:34:44,610 --> 01:34:46,387 that's just his personality, so. 1956 01:34:57,604 --> 01:34:59,530 I think he's almost done reading the script. 1957 01:34:59,530 --> 01:35:01,027 - Ah, you know he's gonna love it. 1958 01:35:01,027 --> 01:35:02,873 I mean, it was written by all the best writers in town. 1959 01:35:07,630 --> 01:35:10,680 - This is the worst thing I've ever read in my life. 1960 01:35:10,680 --> 01:35:12,530 - But what didn't you like about it? 1961 01:35:12,530 --> 01:35:14,610 - None of these things happened anything like this. 1962 01:35:14,610 --> 01:35:16,210 - Like I said: it's loosely based. 1963 01:35:16,210 --> 01:35:18,095 I mean, they gotta punch up the comedy somehow. 1964 01:35:18,095 --> 01:35:20,020 - Listen, pal, they can't do the show 1965 01:35:20,020 --> 01:35:20,853 without you, okay, so, you know, 1966 01:35:20,853 --> 01:35:24,120 maybe I can get ya, like, 70-grand an episode. 1967 01:35:24,120 --> 01:35:24,953 - Please, Shane? 1968 01:35:24,953 --> 01:35:26,452 I need you to do this for me 1969 01:35:26,452 --> 01:35:29,273 so I don't just become another flash in the pan. 1970 01:35:31,050 --> 01:35:33,470 - I'm sorry, Karol, but I'm not gonna spend 1971 01:35:33,470 --> 01:35:35,290 the next three years re-living the same week 1972 01:35:35,290 --> 01:35:37,063 of my life with a laugh track. 1973 01:35:38,518 --> 01:35:41,101 (upbeat music) 1974 01:35:44,809 --> 01:35:48,309 - [Woman] He looks exactly like Mr. LGBTQ. 1975 01:35:49,650 --> 01:35:53,490 - Who? - You know, the Gam Cam Guy. 1976 01:35:53,490 --> 01:35:55,170 - [Woman] Oh, why would he be working here? 1977 01:35:55,170 --> 01:35:56,520 - [Woman] Uh, excuse me, 1978 01:35:56,520 --> 01:35:58,590 could I have your autograph? - Oh, it is him! 1979 01:35:58,590 --> 01:35:59,980 - [Woman] My cousin Barbara is such a big fan! 1980 01:35:59,980 --> 01:36:01,210 - [Woman] Oh, my God, your performance 1981 01:36:01,210 --> 01:36:03,283 on New Year's Eve was amazing! 1982 01:36:03,283 --> 01:36:04,706 - [Woman] Can I have your autograph? 1983 01:36:04,706 --> 01:36:05,951 (voices chattering) 1984 01:36:05,951 --> 01:36:08,136 - [Man] Would you sign this for my wife? 1985 01:36:08,136 --> 01:36:08,969 - [Woman] Lord have mercy! 1986 01:36:08,969 --> 01:36:10,200 - [Woman] Could you sign my shopping list? 1987 01:36:10,200 --> 01:36:11,239 - [Both] Could you sign this for me, please? 1988 01:36:11,239 --> 01:36:12,220 - Can I have your autograph? - I'm such a huge fan. 1989 01:36:12,220 --> 01:36:13,130 - [Both] Can I have your autograph. 1990 01:36:13,130 --> 01:36:15,308 - [Man] You are so awesome, dude. 1991 01:36:15,308 --> 01:36:16,141 - [Both] Could I have your autograph? 1992 01:36:16,141 --> 01:36:18,503 - [Man] I wish I had the balls to do what you did! 1993 01:36:18,503 --> 01:36:20,129 - [Woman] Can I have your autograph? 1994 01:36:20,129 --> 01:36:22,068 - [Woman] Could you sign this for me? 1995 01:36:22,068 --> 01:36:22,937 Please? 1996 01:36:22,937 --> 01:36:25,286 - [Woman] May I have your autograph? 1997 01:36:25,286 --> 01:36:27,242 - [Woman] Please, can I have your autograph? 1998 01:36:27,242 --> 01:36:28,333 Please. 1999 01:36:28,333 --> 01:36:29,760 - I wish it could have worked out, Shane. 2000 01:36:29,760 --> 01:36:30,593 I really do. 2001 01:36:32,683 --> 01:36:33,683 You're a good guy. 2002 01:36:36,711 --> 01:36:38,533 You're just way too famous now. 2003 01:36:39,740 --> 01:36:42,423 It'd be totally disruptive to our business. 2004 01:36:42,423 --> 01:36:45,006 (somber music) 2005 01:37:05,497 --> 01:37:07,997 (phone rings) 2006 01:37:08,950 --> 01:37:10,330 - Hello, Shane. 2007 01:37:10,330 --> 01:37:11,630 Is everything all right? 2008 01:37:11,630 --> 01:37:12,900 - I've decided to take you up on your offer 2009 01:37:12,900 --> 01:37:13,950 and work for the NSA. 2010 01:37:14,930 --> 01:37:18,245 - Well how soon can you relocate here to Maryland? 2011 01:37:18,245 --> 01:37:19,730 - Can't I work out here in the L.A. office? 2012 01:37:19,730 --> 01:37:24,030 - Oh, no, we're downsizing our staff there. 2013 01:37:24,030 --> 01:37:27,093 The only openings we have right now are here at Ft. Meade. 2014 01:37:29,230 --> 01:37:34,010 We might have an opening in Augusta soon. 2015 01:37:34,010 --> 01:37:35,620 - No, I can't relocate right now. 2016 01:37:35,620 --> 01:37:36,670 My mother isn't well. 2017 01:37:37,540 --> 01:37:38,373 Maybe when she's better 2018 01:37:38,373 --> 01:37:40,728 in a month or so I'd consider moving. 2019 01:37:40,728 --> 01:37:43,078 But I can't leave her right now the way she is. 2020 01:37:44,094 --> 01:37:46,132 ♪ Train between stations ♪ 2021 01:37:46,132 --> 01:37:50,882 ♪ No one is sure of its true destination ♪ 2022 01:38:03,269 --> 01:38:05,436 (sobbing) 2023 01:38:08,510 --> 01:38:10,320 - Mom, what's wrong? 2024 01:38:10,320 --> 01:38:12,114 What's the matter? 2025 01:38:12,114 --> 01:38:15,031 - Doctor, doctor say I have cancer. 2026 01:38:16,248 --> 01:38:17,081 - What? 2027 01:38:23,732 --> 01:38:26,752 - We have to sell the house for the treatments. 2028 01:38:26,752 --> 01:38:28,260 - No, Mom, you're not gonna sell the house. 2029 01:38:28,260 --> 01:38:29,093 I'm going to take care of you 2030 01:38:29,093 --> 01:38:30,920 like you've always taken care of me. 2031 01:38:30,920 --> 01:38:31,753 Okay? 2032 01:38:33,271 --> 01:38:34,104 Okay? 2033 01:38:35,970 --> 01:38:36,850 - Okay. 2034 01:38:36,850 --> 01:38:37,857 Okay. 2035 01:38:37,857 --> 01:38:42,857 Okay. 2036 01:38:44,461 --> 01:38:46,936 (laughing) 2037 01:38:46,936 --> 01:38:47,941 - Oh! 2038 01:38:47,941 --> 01:38:49,160 Come off. 2039 01:38:49,160 --> 01:38:51,295 Oh, come, uhh, my yoga pants are stuck 2040 01:38:51,295 --> 01:38:53,180 in this thing-a-ma-jig on your leg. 2041 01:38:53,180 --> 01:38:55,067 Can't you take it off? 2042 01:38:55,067 --> 01:38:56,130 - No, I can't, it's part 2043 01:38:56,130 --> 01:38:59,108 of my doctoral dissertation in Anklenomics. 2044 01:38:59,108 --> 01:39:00,320 - Anklenomics? 2045 01:39:00,320 --> 01:39:02,100 - It's a relatively new field. 2046 01:39:02,100 --> 01:39:04,210 Uh, it's hard to get a scholarship 2047 01:39:04,210 --> 01:39:09,210 in this field because, uh, nobody wants to foot the bill. 2048 01:39:09,240 --> 01:39:11,867 (laughing) 2049 01:39:11,867 --> 01:39:13,132 - Shane Antar? 2050 01:39:13,132 --> 01:39:14,070 - Yes? 2051 01:39:14,070 --> 01:39:14,903 - LAPD. 2052 01:39:14,903 --> 01:39:15,899 You're under arrest! 2053 01:39:15,899 --> 01:39:16,732 - For what? 2054 01:39:16,732 --> 01:39:19,360 Telling jokes with bad punch lines? 2055 01:39:19,360 --> 01:39:20,193 - No. 2056 01:39:20,193 --> 01:39:21,400 Parole violation. 2057 01:39:21,400 --> 01:39:24,070 Tampering with a GPS tracking device. 2058 01:39:24,070 --> 01:39:26,770 - Ah, Anklenomics, my ass! 2059 01:39:26,770 --> 01:39:28,100 - I'm sorry I lied, Karol. 2060 01:39:28,100 --> 01:39:30,450 It was a misfired attempt at getting 2061 01:39:30,450 --> 01:39:32,822 into your yoga pants without having to endure anymore 2062 01:39:32,822 --> 01:39:35,353 downward-facing-dog. 2063 01:39:35,353 --> 01:39:36,186 Brrrrrr! 2064 01:39:36,186 --> 01:39:37,213 - Well, I mean, if you wanted to get 2065 01:39:37,213 --> 01:39:39,913 into my yoga pants so bad, why didn't you just say so! 2066 01:39:41,160 --> 01:39:43,950 Instead of pulling the wool over my eyes. 2067 01:39:43,950 --> 01:39:45,753 - Can I see some ID, mam? 2068 01:39:45,753 --> 01:39:47,253 - Anklenomics, ah! 2069 01:39:48,281 --> 01:39:51,353 Oh, sure, I'm an ankler, I'm studying anklenomics. 2070 01:39:51,353 --> 01:39:53,316 (laughing) 2071 01:39:53,316 --> 01:39:54,941 Anklenomics, anklenomics! 2072 01:39:54,941 --> 01:39:58,509 Anklenomics, who would have thought? 2073 01:39:58,509 --> 01:39:59,342 - Hold it! 2074 01:40:02,754 --> 01:40:03,965 - Hey! 2075 01:40:03,965 --> 01:40:05,895 You can't go fishing in my sock drawer like that! 2076 01:40:05,895 --> 01:40:06,728 - Why not? 2077 01:40:06,728 --> 01:40:09,973 - Because that's where I keep my, sock puppet! 2078 01:40:11,389 --> 01:40:13,639 (laughing) 2079 01:40:16,941 --> 01:40:18,230 - I just doing my job. 2080 01:40:18,230 --> 01:40:19,693 Searching for weapons. 2081 01:40:22,225 --> 01:40:23,058 - Hey. 2082 01:40:24,470 --> 01:40:26,133 - Hey, what's this? 2083 01:40:27,170 --> 01:40:29,670 - That's not a weapon! 2084 01:40:29,670 --> 01:40:32,942 That's a banana creme pie! 2085 01:40:32,942 --> 01:40:33,910 - Hey, in the wrong hands, 2086 01:40:33,910 --> 01:40:35,360 anything can become a weapon. 2087 01:40:37,291 --> 01:40:39,530 - My parole officer's right. 2088 01:40:39,530 --> 01:40:42,333 Even a banana cream pie can become weaponized. 2089 01:40:44,036 --> 01:40:46,786 (crowd laughing) 2090 01:40:54,225 --> 01:40:55,830 - Let's add assaulting a parole officer 2091 01:40:55,830 --> 01:40:56,980 to that list of crimes. 2092 01:40:58,454 --> 01:41:00,804 - Let's make that assault with a deadly weapon. 2093 01:41:01,716 --> 01:41:04,893 - Well, I didn't know a banana cream pie could be deadly. 2094 01:41:06,230 --> 01:41:09,980 - Well, it is if you're allergic to bananas. 2095 01:41:15,591 --> 01:41:16,424 - Bye bye. 2096 01:41:17,816 --> 01:41:19,214 ♪ Gam Cam, Gam Cam ♪ 2097 01:41:19,214 --> 01:41:22,631 ♪ Gammy gam, Gam Cam Guy ♪ 2098 01:41:23,898 --> 01:41:26,012 (upbeat music) 2099 01:41:26,012 --> 01:41:27,595 - Is someone there? 2100 01:41:28,460 --> 01:41:30,463 - There's a van backing into our driveway. 2101 01:41:31,330 --> 01:41:32,610 I hope it's not another crazed fan. 2102 01:41:32,610 --> 01:41:34,314 I'll check it out. 2103 01:41:34,314 --> 01:41:35,147 - Oh, okay. 2104 01:41:35,147 --> 01:41:35,980 Be careful, Shane. 2105 01:41:40,450 --> 01:41:42,780 - [Announcer] Hemorrhoids flaring up again, Bob? 2106 01:41:42,780 --> 01:41:45,280 - [Bob] Yeah, no bike ride for me this weekend. 2107 01:41:45,280 --> 01:41:46,763 - Excuse me, can I help you? 2108 01:41:46,763 --> 01:41:48,680 - Yes, we could use a little manly help. 2109 01:41:48,680 --> 01:41:49,730 - Indeed. 2110 01:41:49,730 --> 01:41:50,563 - Octavia. 2111 01:41:50,563 --> 01:41:52,120 Brin. 2112 01:41:52,120 --> 01:41:54,053 - [Together] Happy Valentine's Day! 2113 01:41:55,790 --> 01:41:58,540 (romantic music) 2114 01:42:33,610 --> 01:42:34,680 - She kept her word. 2115 01:42:34,680 --> 01:42:35,570 - Of course. 2116 01:42:35,570 --> 01:42:36,970 - She always keeps her word. 2117 01:42:37,903 --> 01:42:40,570 (playful music) 2118 01:42:45,060 --> 01:42:46,710 - Where do you want these? 2119 01:42:46,710 --> 01:42:48,423 - Let's put 'em in the garage for now. 2120 01:42:49,760 --> 01:42:51,060 - After we're done unloading these, 2121 01:42:51,060 --> 01:42:53,421 we'll drop you off at her new address. 2122 01:42:53,421 --> 01:42:56,088 (upbeat music) 2123 01:43:37,390 --> 01:43:38,740 - Did you miss me, darling? 2124 01:43:41,170 --> 01:43:42,003 - Terribly. 2125 01:43:43,480 --> 01:43:44,623 Happy Valentine's Day. 2126 01:43:46,522 --> 01:43:47,355 - Oh! 2127 01:43:49,620 --> 01:43:52,170 Oh, I love roses! 2128 01:43:52,170 --> 01:43:55,780 You know, out of all the flowers in the world 2129 01:43:55,780 --> 01:43:57,363 roses are my favorite. 2130 01:43:58,268 --> 01:44:00,685 (soft music) 2131 01:44:09,521 --> 01:44:11,130 - I was starting to think I'd never hear from you again. 2132 01:44:11,130 --> 01:44:12,373 - No way. 2133 01:44:13,290 --> 01:44:15,553 I would never let that happen to our love. 2134 01:44:16,770 --> 01:44:19,683 Our love, it's just beginning. 2135 01:44:22,300 --> 01:44:27,300 Unfolding is probably the better English word to use. 2136 01:44:31,710 --> 01:44:34,640 Our love is one they will be writing 2137 01:44:34,640 --> 01:44:36,440 about for ages. 2138 01:44:36,440 --> 01:44:40,773 We will be right up there with Marc Antony and Cleopatra. 2139 01:44:41,670 --> 01:44:43,743 With Nicholas and Alexandra. 2140 01:44:44,750 --> 01:44:46,923 Shane and Tanya. 2141 01:44:48,540 --> 01:44:50,024 - Tanya? 2142 01:44:50,024 --> 01:44:52,423 - Cami Fawlkes was just my nom de guerre. 2143 01:44:53,330 --> 01:44:57,021 My real name is Tanya Diaghileva. 2144 01:44:57,021 --> 01:44:57,854 - Okay. 2145 01:44:57,854 --> 01:45:01,030 Well, Tanya, thank you for keeping your promise 2146 01:45:01,030 --> 01:45:02,660 about the money. 2147 01:45:02,660 --> 01:45:04,890 Soon as my contract expires in May, 2148 01:45:04,890 --> 01:45:07,080 I'm gonna quit that ridiculous Realitcom! 2149 01:45:07,080 --> 01:45:08,323 - No! 2150 01:45:08,323 --> 01:45:11,340 You will stay with it for all three seasons. 2151 01:45:11,340 --> 01:45:14,630 More if the ratings are still good by then. 2152 01:45:14,630 --> 01:45:17,460 You need to stay in the public eye, Shane. 2153 01:45:17,460 --> 01:45:21,040 Gam Cam Guy is just a springboard for bigger 2154 01:45:21,040 --> 01:45:23,490 and better things. 2155 01:45:23,490 --> 01:45:28,233 This shitcom is all part of the essential plan. 2156 01:45:30,280 --> 01:45:31,890 - I'm not robbing any more banks with you, 2157 01:45:31,890 --> 01:45:33,900 Cami, I mean, Tanya. 2158 01:45:33,900 --> 01:45:35,270 - Banks? 2159 01:45:35,270 --> 01:45:36,400 Phew. 2160 01:45:36,400 --> 01:45:37,233 Banks! 2161 01:45:37,233 --> 01:45:41,570 We are so beyond banks, darling. 2162 01:45:41,570 --> 01:45:46,283 We are now painting on the big canvas. 2163 01:45:48,670 --> 01:45:53,127 The world is our oyster and with you and I as a team 2164 01:45:54,430 --> 01:45:56,623 there is no limit as to what we can do. 2165 01:45:58,200 --> 01:46:03,200 So here is the plan: First, we get married. 2166 01:46:04,300 --> 01:46:09,160 Then you run for open Senate seat here in California. 2167 01:46:09,160 --> 01:46:12,223 You will win of course because of your popularity from TV. 2168 01:46:13,240 --> 01:46:15,557 Then you will publish a book called 2169 01:46:15,557 --> 01:46:18,177 "Make America Rich Again, For Good." 2170 01:46:19,747 --> 01:46:22,433 I already had a mock-up of the cover done. 2171 01:46:25,540 --> 01:46:28,767 It will be a best seller. 2172 01:46:33,360 --> 01:46:34,470 Yeah. 2173 01:46:34,470 --> 01:46:37,273 Then you run for president. 2174 01:46:38,240 --> 01:46:40,950 You will be the first Asian-American president 2175 01:46:40,950 --> 01:46:45,297 and I will be the first openly bisexual First Lady. 2176 01:46:45,297 --> 01:46:47,600 - A menage e trois in the Oval Office. 2177 01:46:47,600 --> 01:46:48,840 What a concept. 2178 01:46:48,840 --> 01:46:53,250 - Besides that, think of all of the good we could do 2179 01:46:53,250 --> 01:46:55,053 in such a place of power. 2180 01:46:58,520 --> 01:47:01,873 So, are you down for it, Shane? 2181 01:47:08,640 --> 01:47:10,010 - Cami? 2182 01:47:10,010 --> 01:47:11,190 - Tanya. 2183 01:47:11,190 --> 01:47:13,013 - Sorry, old habits die hard. 2184 01:47:15,020 --> 01:47:15,960 Tanya? 2185 01:47:15,960 --> 01:47:16,793 - Da? 2186 01:47:17,780 --> 01:47:18,743 - Will you marry me? 2187 01:47:24,325 --> 01:47:26,176 - Da, darling. 2188 01:47:26,176 --> 01:47:29,015 Da. 2189 01:47:29,015 --> 01:47:30,182 - Good answer. 2190 01:47:31,083 --> 01:47:32,548 Let's seal the deal. 2191 01:47:32,548 --> 01:47:35,131 (gentle music) 2192 01:47:42,609 --> 01:47:45,192 (upbeat music) 2193 01:47:56,775 --> 01:48:00,495 ♪ If I painted a thousand different pictures ♪ 2194 01:48:00,495 --> 01:48:04,100 ♪ Would they be worth a million words ♪ 2195 01:48:04,100 --> 01:48:07,895 ♪ Used a song with many mixtures ♪ 2196 01:48:07,895 --> 01:48:11,711 ♪ Sung by 100 million birds ♪ 2197 01:48:11,711 --> 01:48:15,430 ♪ Soon as the sun went down this evening ♪ 2198 01:48:15,430 --> 01:48:19,128 ♪ Something inside me seemed to say ♪ 2199 01:48:19,128 --> 01:48:22,974 ♪ Seeing is not always believing ♪ 2200 01:48:22,974 --> 01:48:27,974 ♪ Sometimes you feel a different way ♪ 2201 01:48:28,211 --> 01:48:30,288 ♪ I think it's time to let go ♪ 2202 01:48:30,288 --> 01:48:31,954 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2203 01:48:31,954 --> 01:48:36,009 ♪ I think it's time to let everything you know ♪ 2204 01:48:36,009 --> 01:48:37,840 ♪ Go just for the moment ♪ 2205 01:48:37,840 --> 01:48:39,715 ♪ Before you've outgrown it ♪ 2206 01:48:39,715 --> 01:48:44,715 ♪ This moment you own it ♪ 2207 01:48:48,949 --> 01:48:53,949 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2208 01:48:56,028 --> 01:48:57,634 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2209 01:48:57,634 --> 01:48:59,232 ♪ Every now and then you get to feel like this ♪ 2210 01:48:59,232 --> 01:49:01,297 ♪ Like being in a dream it's really real like this ♪ 2211 01:49:01,297 --> 01:49:03,127 ♪ Like seeing everything for the very first time ♪ 2212 01:49:03,127 --> 01:49:04,549 ♪ You don't wanna miss a thing ♪ 2213 01:49:04,549 --> 01:49:05,581 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2214 01:49:05,581 --> 01:49:06,822 ♪ You know what I'm talking about ♪ 2215 01:49:06,822 --> 01:49:08,623 ♪ When it gets this good, you'll be rockin' it out ♪ 2216 01:49:08,623 --> 01:49:09,780 ♪ Because your body's gotta move ♪ 2217 01:49:09,780 --> 01:49:10,889 ♪ And everybody's gotta shout ♪ 2218 01:49:10,889 --> 01:49:12,428 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2219 01:49:12,428 --> 01:49:14,370 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2220 01:49:14,370 --> 01:49:18,712 ♪ I think it's time to let everything you know ♪ 2221 01:49:18,712 --> 01:49:20,887 ♪ Go just for the moment ♪ 2222 01:49:20,887 --> 01:49:22,821 ♪ Before you've outgrown it ♪ 2223 01:49:22,821 --> 01:49:27,821 ♪ This moment you own it ♪ 2224 01:49:30,340 --> 01:49:35,340 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2225 01:49:37,776 --> 01:49:38,894 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2226 01:49:38,894 --> 01:49:40,640 ♪ Every now 'n then you get to feel like this ♪ 2227 01:49:40,640 --> 01:49:42,422 ♪ Like being in a dream it's really real like this ♪ 2228 01:49:42,422 --> 01:49:44,255 ♪ Like seeing everything for the very first time ♪ 2229 01:49:44,255 --> 01:49:45,676 ♪ You don't wanna miss a thing ♪ 2230 01:49:45,676 --> 01:49:46,632 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2231 01:49:46,632 --> 01:49:48,107 ♪ You know what I'm talking about ♪ 2232 01:49:48,107 --> 01:49:49,869 ♪ When it gets this good you'll be rockin' it out ♪ 2233 01:49:49,869 --> 01:49:51,371 ♪ 'Cause your body's gotta move ♪ 2234 01:49:51,371 --> 01:49:52,374 ♪ And everybody's gotta shout ♪ 2235 01:49:52,374 --> 01:49:54,203 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪ 2236 01:49:54,203 --> 01:49:55,687 ♪ You know what I'm talking about ♪ 2237 01:49:55,687 --> 01:49:57,445 ♪ When it gets this good you'll be rockin' it out ♪ 2238 01:49:57,445 --> 01:49:58,932 ♪ 'Cause your body's gotta move ♪ 2239 01:49:58,932 --> 01:49:59,935 ♪ And everybody's gotta shout ♪ 2240 01:49:59,935 --> 01:50:01,602 ♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪