1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,105 When I was younger, 4 00:00:36,139 --> 00:00:38,141 this is how I pictured my wedding. 5 00:00:40,212 --> 00:00:42,456 I'm standing at the altar with my fiance, 6 00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:45,252 I have no idea that my best friend, Tom, 7 00:00:45,286 --> 00:00:47,219 the man I truly love, 8 00:00:47,254 --> 00:00:49,359 is galloping towards the church 9 00:00:49,394 --> 00:00:51,327 on a huge black stallion, 10 00:00:51,361 --> 00:00:55,055 racing to stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life. 11 00:00:57,436 --> 00:01:00,405 Just as I'm about to say, "I do," 12 00:01:00,439 --> 00:01:03,718 Tom flies through the doors of the church, and... 13 00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:09,103 My heart skips a beat. 14 00:01:09,138 --> 00:01:11,692 Back then, I'd picture what it would feel like 15 00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:13,211 to have my heart broken. 16 00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:16,006 Maybe I'd be working in advertising 17 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,216 and I'd fall in love 18 00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:20,563 with an inventor of mysterious confectionary 19 00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:23,669 while on a work trip with him. 20 00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:26,672 But then, I'd discover his true identity. 21 00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:30,159 He's my arch nemesis from a rival company. 22 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:34,335 Understandably, I'm horrified. 23 00:01:35,957 --> 00:01:37,649 Or, I'd imagine 24 00:01:37,683 --> 00:01:40,100 how I'd meet the love of my life. 25 00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,722 My new Gucci shoe. 26 00:01:42,309 --> 00:01:44,690 Come on. 27 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:56,012 Or where I'd be working when I met my husband. 28 00:01:56,046 --> 00:01:58,428 -Hello, Natalie. -Hello, David. 29 00:01:58,463 --> 00:01:59,671 I mean, sir. 30 00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:02,018 Shit. I can't believe I've just said that. 31 00:02:02,052 --> 00:02:03,157 And now I've gone and said "shit." 32 00:02:03,192 --> 00:02:04,227 It's fine, it's fine. 33 00:02:04,262 --> 00:02:05,366 You could have said "fuck" 34 00:02:05,401 --> 00:02:06,643 and then we'd have been in real trouble. 35 00:02:06,678 --> 00:02:07,851 Thank you, sir. 36 00:02:07,886 --> 00:02:08,956 I did have an awful premonition 37 00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,509 I was gonna fuck up on my first day. 38 00:02:11,407 --> 00:02:12,753 Or what it would be like 39 00:02:12,787 --> 00:02:16,170 when I met my fiance's parents for the first time. 40 00:02:16,205 --> 00:02:17,309 Good night, Mr. Banks. 41 00:02:17,344 --> 00:02:19,242 Oh, you can call him George. Or Dad! 42 00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:21,934 George will be fine. 43 00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:23,729 And don't forget to fasten your condom. 44 00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:25,179 Dad! 45 00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:28,562 Seat belt! I meant... I meant seat belt. 46 00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:31,220 And I'd often dream of being a chef 47 00:02:31,254 --> 00:02:34,188 with magical powers, 48 00:02:34,223 --> 00:02:37,398 which I could use to woo the man of my dreams. 49 00:02:38,261 --> 00:02:40,229 And my best friend... 50 00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:42,576 ...would be a crab. 51 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:48,202 This is how dominant romantic comedies have been in my life. 52 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,342 As a young woman, they became 53 00:02:50,377 --> 00:02:52,310 an obsession so powerful, 54 00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:55,485 that they're now a part of my identity. 55 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,730 Maybe it'd be better if we start at the beginning. 56 00:02:58,764 --> 00:03:02,423 And at most mythologized and beguiling of all places, 57 00:03:02,458 --> 00:03:04,977 the suburban teenage girl's bedroom. 58 00:03:05,909 --> 00:03:08,912 Mine looked a lot like this. 59 00:03:08,947 --> 00:03:13,434 And it was here among the training bras, hair mascara, 60 00:03:13,469 --> 00:03:14,849 and intense boredom 61 00:03:14,884 --> 00:03:18,232 that my obsession with romantic comedies began. 62 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:20,441 They ease my fear of being alone forever 63 00:03:20,476 --> 00:03:22,236 as they promised me that one day, 64 00:03:22,271 --> 00:03:25,653 I, too, could have a fulfilling romantic life. 65 00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:28,691 Just as long as I followed the rules. 66 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:37,044 A woman must always be laid back, easy-going and fun. 67 00:03:37,078 --> 00:03:38,908 If you think you hate someone, 68 00:03:38,942 --> 00:03:41,704 that might actually mean they're perfect for you. 69 00:03:41,738 --> 00:03:44,189 And true relationship success is achieved 70 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,261 by one thing, and one thing only, 71 00:03:47,296 --> 00:03:50,195 a big white wedding. 72 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,542 Which is wat happened to me, I got married. 73 00:03:52,577 --> 00:03:56,201 Well, this isn't my wedding, but does it really matter? 74 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,031 Aren't all weddings basically the same? 75 00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:03,484 Before I got married, 76 00:04:03,519 --> 00:04:05,072 my relationship to romantic comedies 77 00:04:05,106 --> 00:04:07,385 was pure and uncomplicated. 78 00:04:07,419 --> 00:04:09,697 They reflected my experiences as a young woman 79 00:04:09,732 --> 00:04:13,529 and dominated my outlook on love and relationships. 80 00:04:16,428 --> 00:04:18,465 But because most romantic comedies 81 00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:20,674 end with a marriage, after my wedding, 82 00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:22,814 I felt like they'd abandoned me. 83 00:04:23,987 --> 00:04:25,575 The connection was broken, 84 00:04:25,610 --> 00:04:26,921 and suddenly, I began to see 85 00:04:26,956 --> 00:04:29,821 all the other ways in which they were imperfect. 86 00:04:31,719 --> 00:04:34,929 And I wasn't the only person who felt this way. 87 00:04:34,964 --> 00:04:36,483 ANNE T. - I like that I don't have to think 88 00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:37,898 when I watch romantic comedies. 89 00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:42,765 I basically can just curl up and not really worry. 90 00:04:44,525 --> 00:04:46,078 But I will say, the more... 91 00:04:46,113 --> 00:04:48,909 The older I get, the more they do make me anxious. 92 00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:52,326 Liar! 93 00:04:52,361 --> 00:04:54,984 They're really heteronormative, 94 00:04:55,018 --> 00:04:56,261 and they're really white, 95 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,125 and they're really schmaltzy. 96 00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:04,304 I saw Cameron Diaz get poked in the face 97 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,651 by a penis in a glory hole. 98 00:05:12,657 --> 00:05:15,107 And yet, I was still obsessed. 99 00:05:15,142 --> 00:05:16,385 But now when the credits rolled, 100 00:05:16,419 --> 00:05:18,214 I didn't feel elated, 101 00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:20,009 I felt guilty. 102 00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:21,597 Not that that stopped me. 103 00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:25,808 I carried on watching them over and over again. 104 00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:33,954 beyond this 105 00:05:33,988 --> 00:05:40,409 and I feel it leads somewhere 106 00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:49,935 They say for sure, once 107 00:05:56,977 --> 00:06:00,290 for as long as you want 108 00:06:02,534 --> 00:06:05,365 get up and run 109 00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:59,453 Of all genres, romantic comedies are the films 110 00:06:59,488 --> 00:07:00,903 that are most heavily targeted 111 00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:04,009 towards a conventional female audience. 112 00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:06,287 And so, they have the power to influence us. 113 00:07:06,322 --> 00:07:08,462 Well, some of us. 114 00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:10,222 We can see this in the way women respond 115 00:07:10,257 --> 00:07:12,501 to one of the most successful rom-com heroines 116 00:07:12,535 --> 00:07:15,538 of all time, Bridget Jones. 117 00:07:16,263 --> 00:07:17,851 Some feel positive. 118 00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:20,267 Everybody kinda likes Bridget Jones, 119 00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:22,303 like, you have to love her 120 00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:24,029 because she's completely who she is. 121 00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,480 She never expresses that she feels complete 122 00:07:26,515 --> 00:07:27,619 when she's with a guy. 123 00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:30,208 She got happy and content by herself. 124 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:34,730 That's why Bridget Jones is just like the HBC. 125 00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:37,077 The Head Bitch in Charge. 126 00:07:37,111 --> 00:07:40,390 But if staying here means working within ten yards of you, 127 00:07:40,425 --> 00:07:44,187 frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's ass. 128 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,985 Others are not so positive. 129 00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:51,022 You know what her weight is 130 00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:52,506 and she's claiming to be very overweight. 131 00:07:52,541 --> 00:07:54,612 And she weighs about nine stone or something. 132 00:07:54,646 --> 00:07:56,372 Resolution number one, 133 00:07:56,406 --> 00:07:58,788 obviously will lose 20 pounds. 134 00:07:58,823 --> 00:08:00,514 I do remember seeing that film 135 00:08:00,549 --> 00:08:03,034 when it first came out, and thinking, 136 00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:05,554 "I weigh what this woman weighs. 137 00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:07,072 "She's worried that she's really overweight, 138 00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:09,696 "so I must be really overweight." 139 00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:12,699 My own feelings on Bridget are also conflicted. 140 00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:15,736 In the films, we're told she's a successful career woman. 141 00:08:15,771 --> 00:08:17,842 Yet, I think this truth is undermined 142 00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:20,776 by her many pratfalls at work. 143 00:08:22,571 --> 00:08:27,541 Bridget wasn't the only clumsy career woman I saw in romantic comedies. 144 00:08:27,576 --> 00:08:29,232 Rom-coms have painted career women 145 00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:32,166 as these pathetic, clumsy, bumbling idiots, 146 00:08:32,201 --> 00:08:33,858 because the idea of a woman 147 00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:36,239 having her shit together is very frightening. 148 00:08:36,274 --> 00:08:38,345 She's doing all this, like, nine to five, 149 00:08:38,379 --> 00:08:39,691 but then, like, she's kind of a klutz. 150 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:41,037 Like, "I'll save her." 151 00:08:41,072 --> 00:08:43,626 They always think that women need to be saved. 152 00:08:43,661 --> 00:08:45,455 ...must remember the way to a man's heart 153 00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:47,630 is not through beauty, sex, or love, 154 00:08:47,665 --> 00:08:49,011 but merely the ability 155 00:08:49,045 --> 00:08:51,565 to fall arse over tit in the mud. 156 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:52,911 People wouldn't respond very well 157 00:08:52,946 --> 00:08:54,499 to a portrayal of a successful woman 158 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,537 who wasn't somehow undermining her success at every turn. 159 00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,193 There has to be something that takes away 160 00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:00,816 from her own self-confidence 161 00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:02,645 because I think people still don't particularly like 162 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,095 to see that on screen. 163 00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:05,648 In order to better understand 164 00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:07,685 how career women and women in general 165 00:09:07,719 --> 00:09:09,134 are presented in the films, 166 00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:10,722 we need to look at how they've been portrayed 167 00:09:10,757 --> 00:09:13,035 in romantic comedies throughout history. 168 00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:17,349 In the 1930s, 169 00:09:17,384 --> 00:09:20,111 Hollywood wasn't taken seriously as a business. 170 00:09:20,145 --> 00:09:22,803 Which meant people who normally existed on the margins, 171 00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:26,738 namely, immigrants and women, were able to thrive. 172 00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:29,085 There were far more roles for women than for men, 173 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,744 and female actors commanded bigger paychecks. 174 00:09:34,056 --> 00:09:36,023 The romantic heroines of this era, 175 00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:40,165 the screwball queens, reflected this female power. 176 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,478 They were strong, intelligent women 177 00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:44,618 who excelled at exchanging pithy one-liners 178 00:09:44,653 --> 00:09:46,689 with their male love interests. 179 00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:48,518 This is my car. 180 00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:50,866 -You mean this is your car? -Of course. 181 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,868 Your golf ball, your car. 182 00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:55,422 Is there anything in the world that doesn't belong to you? 183 00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:56,734 Yes, thank heaven, you. 184 00:09:56,768 --> 00:09:58,839 -Now, don't lose your temper. -Well, I... 185 00:09:58,874 --> 00:10:01,014 My dear young lady, I'm not losing my temper, 186 00:10:01,048 --> 00:10:02,740 I'm merely trying to play some golf. 187 00:10:02,774 --> 00:10:04,431 Well, you choose the funniest places. 188 00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:05,535 This is a parking lot. 189 00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:06,951 Will you get out of my car? 190 00:10:06,985 --> 00:10:08,297 Will you get off my running board? 191 00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:09,539 This is my running board! 192 00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:10,575 All right, honey. 193 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,990 -Stay there then. -Whoa, whoa, whoa! 194 00:10:12,025 --> 00:10:14,303 Unlike modern rom-coms, the female protagonists 195 00:10:14,337 --> 00:10:17,133 of the '30s were often brilliant career women. 196 00:10:17,168 --> 00:10:20,136 For example, Hildy fromHis Girl Friday. 197 00:10:20,171 --> 00:10:22,449 It always thrills me that instead of picking the man 198 00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:26,453 who offers her security, motherhood, and suburban lawns... 199 00:10:26,487 --> 00:10:27,661 Oh, you're gonna live with your mother? 200 00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:29,905 Well, just for the first year. 201 00:10:29,939 --> 00:10:31,665 ...Hildy returns to Walter 202 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,598 who loves and values her for her mind 203 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,565 and her journalistic talent. 204 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,326 He treats her as his equal. 205 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,673 They'll be naming streets after you. Hildy Johnson Street. 206 00:10:39,708 --> 00:10:41,054 There'll be statues of you in the park, 207 00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:42,642 The movies will be after you, the radio. 208 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,471 By tomorrow morning, I'll bet you there's a Hildy Johnson cigar. 209 00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:46,162 I can see the billboards now. Says, "Light up with Hildy Johnson." 210 00:10:46,197 --> 00:10:47,750 -Oh, Walter, will stop that acting? -Huh? 211 00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:50,097 -We got a lot to do. -Oh, yeah, talking? 212 00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:52,410 But this equality didn't last. 213 00:10:54,895 --> 00:10:57,104 World War II killed the screwball 214 00:10:57,139 --> 00:11:00,798 as it encouraged both genders back into conformity. 215 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,834 Men out fighting. 216 00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:07,287 Women at home keeping the house in order. 217 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:14,121 Hollywood transformed into the patriarchal institution we know today. 218 00:11:14,156 --> 00:11:16,503 If career women were shown onscreen... 219 00:11:16,537 --> 00:11:18,505 I happen to be paying your salary, Ryan. 220 00:11:18,539 --> 00:11:19,679 You can play games on your own time. 221 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:20,887 Now, get down. 222 00:11:23,303 --> 00:11:24,684 Tip that light down a little, will you, 223 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,065 the one near his right shoulder? 224 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,585 They were always eventually tamed by the man. 225 00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:33,865 Goodbye, Henry. 226 00:11:35,556 --> 00:11:37,731 Oh! Oh, Ryan! Ryan... 227 00:11:37,766 --> 00:11:40,113 In general, we see chaste innocent virgins 228 00:11:40,147 --> 00:11:42,909 waiting for their man to come home and marry them. 229 00:11:44,082 --> 00:11:47,983 But then in the 1950s, everything changed again. 230 00:11:48,017 --> 00:11:48,880 Hi. 231 00:11:49,432 --> 00:11:51,849 Well, hello. 232 00:11:51,883 --> 00:11:54,783 Marilyn Monroe's charisma and talent 233 00:11:54,817 --> 00:11:58,096 was unlike anything anyone had ever seen. 234 00:11:58,131 --> 00:12:00,271 Whilst rarely shown as a career woman, 235 00:12:00,305 --> 00:12:04,171 her innate natural sexuality elevated her. 236 00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:07,140 Her male counterparts would be reduced to bumbling idiots, 237 00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,867 cowed by her immense female power. 238 00:12:09,901 --> 00:12:11,869 I'd like to stay here with you tonight. 239 00:12:12,421 --> 00:12:13,767 Mmm? 240 00:12:13,802 --> 00:12:15,286 I'd like to sleep here. 241 00:12:20,394 --> 00:12:21,361 Are you sure? 242 00:12:21,395 --> 00:12:22,880 That is, if you don't mind. 243 00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:28,506 Marilyn died in 1962. 244 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,819 I often wonder what the world of romantic comedies 245 00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:32,337 would have looked like if she'd lived. 246 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,687 Her last film, Something's Got to Give, 247 00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:39,448 was never finished. 248 00:12:39,482 --> 00:12:42,313 It was remade a year later asMove Over, Darling 249 00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:47,939 with another beautiful blonde, Doris Day. 250 00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:49,354 But unlike Marilyn, 251 00:12:49,389 --> 00:12:53,048 Doris' romantic heroines were not sexually confident. 252 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,810 Bedroom problems? 253 00:12:56,845 --> 00:12:58,985 In fact, they were incredibly chaste, 254 00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:01,815 protecting their virtue even when they were stranded 255 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:04,059 on a desert island for five years. 256 00:13:04,093 --> 00:13:06,406 There was a man on that island with me. 257 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,823 How marvelous. No wonder you look so well. 258 00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:13,585 But you silly girl, why did you tell Nick? 259 00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:15,829 I didn't tell him! 260 00:13:16,726 --> 00:13:18,176 He just found out. 261 00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:22,387 Oh. Well, tell me then. I wanna know everything. 262 00:13:22,422 --> 00:13:23,906 There's nothing to tell. 263 00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:26,736 And whilst these women often did have careers, 264 00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:28,669 they were very happy to relinquish them 265 00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:30,464 in the name of marriage and motherhood. 266 00:13:31,258 --> 00:13:32,604 In general, 267 00:13:32,639 --> 00:13:34,814 it feels like the genre hasn't really progressed much 268 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:38,093 since Doris Day and her pastel twin sets. 269 00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:43,063 In The Devil Wears Prada, when he's pissed 270 00:13:43,098 --> 00:13:45,169 that she missed his birthday or something... 271 00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:46,860 Yeah, she should miss your birthday. 272 00:13:46,895 --> 00:13:48,310 She has a really important job. 273 00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:50,139 You got a cupcake, why are you mad? 274 00:13:50,726 --> 00:13:52,107 Nate, I'm so sorry. 275 00:13:53,142 --> 00:13:54,834 I kept trying to leave, 276 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,594 but there's a lot going on and... 277 00:13:57,698 --> 00:13:59,459 You know I didn't have a choice. 278 00:13:59,493 --> 00:14:00,874 Don't worry about it. 279 00:14:04,222 --> 00:14:06,776 Romantic comedies don't have a responsibility 280 00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:08,226 to represent reality. 281 00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:11,920 Way to go, Tess. 282 00:14:11,954 --> 00:14:13,887 -Yay. -Beauty. 283 00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:16,648 However, I can say that as a teenager, 284 00:14:16,683 --> 00:14:20,204 dreaming of the relationships I one day hoped to experience, 285 00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:22,447 I turned to them for guidance. 286 00:14:22,482 --> 00:14:26,037 What I saw influenced, or even defined, 287 00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,936 my future romantic behavior. 288 00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:31,801 When I fell in love with romantic comedies, 289 00:14:31,836 --> 00:14:33,976 Julia Roberts was the reigning queen. 290 00:14:34,011 --> 00:14:37,255 Holy shit. 291 00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:39,913 During that period, there was a surge of the films, 292 00:14:39,948 --> 00:14:42,812 which were hugely successful at the box office. 293 00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:45,401 And I watched all of them. 294 00:14:45,436 --> 00:14:46,506 As the demand grew, 295 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:48,853 the genre began to cannibalize itself 296 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,062 and spiraled out of control. 297 00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:53,996 I now realize it was presenting me 298 00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:58,207 with increasingly more dubious narratives as romantic ideals. 299 00:14:58,242 --> 00:15:00,830 I think that many of the premises of rom-coms 300 00:15:00,865 --> 00:15:04,248 are deeply suspect and a bit twisted. 301 00:15:04,282 --> 00:15:05,732 While You Were Sleeping... 302 00:15:05,766 --> 00:15:08,183 I mean, that's quite a good horror movie title already. 303 00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:10,461 Does she have a cat or not, 304 00:15:10,495 --> 00:15:12,394 even, like, just pictures of a cat? 305 00:15:12,428 --> 00:15:14,223 And she's just always in that little booth 306 00:15:14,258 --> 00:15:17,917 in the train station not really talking to anyone. 307 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:21,023 She pretends to be with a guy 308 00:15:21,058 --> 00:15:22,956 who's been in an accident, he's in a coma. 309 00:15:22,991 --> 00:15:24,924 She's obsessed with him, 310 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,098 but she's never, ever talked to him. 311 00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,998 And she goes to the hospital, and they won't let her in to see him. 312 00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:31,792 Completely justified. 313 00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:33,208 Whoa, whoa, you can't go in there. 314 00:15:33,242 --> 00:15:34,623 -No, no, no, you don't understand. -No, are you family? 315 00:15:34,657 --> 00:15:35,865 -No. -Family only. 316 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:36,970 No, you don't understand. 317 00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:39,559 -I was... -You wait there. 318 00:15:39,593 --> 00:15:42,942 But she lies and says that she's his fiancee. 319 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,667 Is that the woman that saved his life? 320 00:15:44,702 --> 00:15:45,945 Yeah. 321 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,325 Whoa. 322 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,844 It gets even better than that. 323 00:15:48,878 --> 00:15:51,053 She's his fiancee. 324 00:15:51,088 --> 00:15:53,504 And then, his family show up. 325 00:15:54,608 --> 00:15:58,302 And she feels it's normal to lie to them as well, 326 00:15:58,336 --> 00:16:01,650 and just insinuates herself into his life. 327 00:16:04,032 --> 00:16:06,275 I've fallen in love with men 328 00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:08,277 who are in emotional comas, for sure. 329 00:16:08,312 --> 00:16:10,452 Maybe not physical ones. 330 00:16:10,486 --> 00:16:12,661 I feel like there's some sort of deformity 331 00:16:12,695 --> 00:16:16,251 that he has on his testicles that she gets a look at 332 00:16:16,285 --> 00:16:18,287 so that she can say to his mother, like, 333 00:16:18,322 --> 00:16:19,840 "No, I really am his fiancee 334 00:16:19,875 --> 00:16:24,017 "because I've seen his, like, watermelon-sized testicle." 335 00:16:24,052 --> 00:16:27,469 Peter has one testicle. 336 00:16:30,955 --> 00:16:32,301 -No way. -Way. 337 00:16:32,336 --> 00:16:35,097 About a month ago, there was an accident, 338 00:16:35,132 --> 00:16:36,443 and he was playing basketball, 339 00:16:36,478 --> 00:16:40,378 and his friend had a pencil in his back pocket. 340 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,794 Ew. 341 00:16:42,829 --> 00:16:46,039 She's not even interested in him in the end, 342 00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:48,179 and she falls in love with Bill Pullman. 343 00:16:48,214 --> 00:16:50,802 She falls in love with his brother 344 00:16:50,837 --> 00:16:53,633 and ends up with the brother. 345 00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,669 I think the prospect that you could fall in love 346 00:16:55,704 --> 00:16:56,877 with somebody who's in a coma, 347 00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:58,569 tell his family that you're his fiancee 348 00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:00,950 and then, fall in love with his brother is psychopathic behavior 349 00:17:00,985 --> 00:17:04,057 that should probably see you ending up in a courtroom. 350 00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:08,441 The film that first made me realize 351 00:17:08,475 --> 00:17:11,616 that the genre had lost its way wasFailure to Launch. 352 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,516 It's about a guy 353 00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:17,174 who is too old to be living with his parents, 354 00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:18,727 but he's still living with his parents. 355 00:17:18,761 --> 00:17:21,212 Unhappy with this domestic situation, 356 00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:23,490 they employ Paula, who is an expert 357 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:26,528 in making adult children fly the nest. 358 00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:28,771 Based on the initial personality assessment, 359 00:17:28,806 --> 00:17:31,257 I think that I can have your son moved out of this house 360 00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:34,122 and living on his own by June 15th. 361 00:17:34,156 --> 00:17:36,434 Ah! Hallelujah. 362 00:17:36,469 --> 00:17:38,781 The most dubious part of the film, for me, 363 00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:42,578 is that, while Paula is still in the the employ of Tripp's parents, 364 00:17:42,613 --> 00:17:43,786 she has sex with him. 365 00:17:52,554 --> 00:17:53,727 Paula? 366 00:17:55,004 --> 00:17:56,282 Wow. Early risers. 367 00:17:56,316 --> 00:17:59,319 Hey, listen, FYI, workwise, we're definitely on track. 368 00:17:59,354 --> 00:18:02,529 Things are good. Tripp is good. Well, actually, he's fantastic. 369 00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:04,152 Of course, I don't need to tell you that. 370 00:18:04,186 --> 00:18:05,843 You're his parents. I'm just, uh... 371 00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:09,295 Just trying to say you should be very proud of him. 372 00:18:10,572 --> 00:18:11,435 Well... 373 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,333 You've got a lovely home. 374 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,473 She betrays him. 375 00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:18,614 And yet, they still end up together. 376 00:18:18,649 --> 00:18:21,548 Idealizing any relationship that starts with one person 377 00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:25,138 having immense power and control over the other, 378 00:18:25,173 --> 00:18:27,313 that's not a good place to start from. 379 00:18:27,347 --> 00:18:29,073 Fundamentally, one person has been paid 380 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,557 to spend time with the other 381 00:18:30,592 --> 00:18:32,076 and has had a particular motive, 382 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,803 and it can't help but be curdled by that. 383 00:18:34,837 --> 00:18:39,325 I never found Failure to Launch romantic or aspirational. 384 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:42,017 But one part of it did stay with me, 385 00:18:42,051 --> 00:18:44,053 the way Paula changed who she was 386 00:18:44,088 --> 00:18:45,848 in order to secure her man. 387 00:18:45,883 --> 00:18:48,748 How do you make sure that he'll fall in love with you? 388 00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:51,337 You look nice, you find out what they like, 389 00:18:51,371 --> 00:18:53,132 and then you pretend to like it too. 390 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,858 That is pretty much how it works. 391 00:18:55,893 --> 00:18:58,378 This idea that a woman is appealing 392 00:18:58,413 --> 00:19:00,898 to a man if her behavior resembles his... 393 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,624 Yeah. 394 00:19:02,658 --> 00:19:05,074 is common to many of the romantic comedies that influenced me. 395 00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:08,975 And consequently, I spent much of my 20s trying to conform 396 00:19:09,009 --> 00:19:12,392 to what I now recognize were unachievable ideals. 397 00:19:13,876 --> 00:19:17,156 She somehow can still have a magically perfect body 398 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,192 despite eating whatever she wants 399 00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:21,953 like Sandra Bullock inMiss Congeniality. 400 00:19:21,988 --> 00:19:25,302 Sandra Bullock did a lot of overeating on film. 401 00:19:25,336 --> 00:19:27,580 Not even overeating, just eating, 402 00:19:27,614 --> 00:19:31,204 and not talking about her diets. 403 00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:32,688 But it isn't just food. 404 00:19:32,723 --> 00:19:35,139 The Generation X rom-com heroine 405 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,417 loves everything that a man loves. 406 00:19:37,452 --> 00:19:39,212 InThere's Something About Mary, 407 00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,559 Mary is the beer-swigging, sports-loving, 408 00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:44,769 physical embodiment of the ultimate cool girl. 409 00:19:46,046 --> 00:19:48,773 When a guy can play 36 holes and still have enough energy 410 00:19:48,808 --> 00:19:52,087 to take me and Warren to a ball game, and eat hotdogs. 411 00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:54,227 I'm talking sausage hotdogs, beer. 412 00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:55,849 Not light beer, but beer. 413 00:19:55,884 --> 00:19:57,230 That's my ad. Print it up. 414 00:19:57,265 --> 00:20:00,406 Watching this, I saw how attractive Mary was 415 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,511 to every man she met 416 00:20:02,546 --> 00:20:05,514 to the extent that she has to take legal action. 417 00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:09,760 Woogie, you know you're not supposed to be within 400 yards of me. 418 00:20:09,794 --> 00:20:10,726 Let's not forget here. 419 00:20:10,761 --> 00:20:13,764 You put me through a lot of bullshit, okay? 420 00:20:13,798 --> 00:20:15,593 I had to change my name. 421 00:20:15,628 --> 00:20:18,182 I had to go to court. I moved. 422 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,598 I mean, you stole all of my shoes. 423 00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:23,912 She sounds like an embodiment of a writer's desire 424 00:20:23,946 --> 00:20:26,604 'cause all of that is about how she's seen 425 00:20:26,639 --> 00:20:29,228 rather than anything that's coming, like, internally 426 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,850 from her own desire. 427 00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:34,094 Women just conform to certain forms of male behavior, 428 00:20:34,129 --> 00:20:36,304 and they are "chill" 429 00:20:36,338 --> 00:20:39,307 and they're willing to sublimate themselves 430 00:20:39,341 --> 00:20:42,206 and adopt male characteristics 431 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,346 in order to get along better with men. 432 00:20:44,381 --> 00:20:47,246 It's this thing of, like, women having to be effortless. 433 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,626 It's like how women always wake up 434 00:20:48,661 --> 00:20:50,939 with, like, perfect makeup in films. 435 00:20:52,561 --> 00:20:54,701 How come you always look so great in the morning? 436 00:20:56,082 --> 00:20:57,704 Do I? 437 00:20:57,739 --> 00:20:59,603 They started making jokes about it now, but even then, 438 00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:01,915 you're like, "Yeah, but you do actually look a bit too nice." 439 00:21:09,923 --> 00:21:12,098 Oh, I was having a nightmare. I was so scared. 440 00:21:12,132 --> 00:21:13,375 Oh. 441 00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:16,033 You look beautiful. 442 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,966 Oh, no, I'm sure I look terrible. 443 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,381 I just woke up. Are you kidding? 444 00:21:19,416 --> 00:21:21,280 -I'm sure I'm a mess. 445 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,696 As a young woman, 446 00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:26,561 one of my favorite rom-com heroines was journalist Andy 447 00:21:26,595 --> 00:21:29,046 inHow to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. 448 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,875 She's naturally cool. 449 00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:32,429 She loves sports, 450 00:21:32,463 --> 00:21:36,709 fast food, and, of course, beer. 451 00:21:36,743 --> 00:21:39,988 But for a magazine article, she has to drive her man away. 452 00:21:40,022 --> 00:21:41,300 So she forces herself 453 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:44,026 to become the type of woman she knows men hate. 454 00:21:44,061 --> 00:21:47,823 Consequently, I saw how unappealing men find women 455 00:21:47,858 --> 00:21:49,687 who are not "cool." 456 00:21:49,722 --> 00:21:51,689 I did something kind of wacky. 457 00:21:52,725 --> 00:21:54,036 -Huh? -Yes. 458 00:21:54,071 --> 00:21:57,695 I used Photoshop at work today to composite our faces together 459 00:21:57,730 --> 00:21:59,973 to see what our kids would look like. 460 00:22:00,008 --> 00:22:02,217 "Our Family Album!" 461 00:22:03,391 --> 00:22:04,944 She's emotionally needy. 462 00:22:05,807 --> 00:22:07,602 You don't wanna see our children? 463 00:22:07,636 --> 00:22:12,020 She asks him to share her interests. 464 00:22:12,054 --> 00:22:15,472 And she takes care of him in front of his friends. 465 00:22:15,506 --> 00:22:16,507 -Blow. 466 00:22:16,542 --> 00:22:18,475 Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles. 467 00:22:18,509 --> 00:22:20,546 -I hate Mr. Sniffles. 468 00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:29,486 Ultimately though, Andy's natural coolness shines through, 469 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,040 and is what lands her her man. 470 00:22:32,074 --> 00:22:35,871 So I thought that if I could be more easy-going and uncomplicated, 471 00:22:35,906 --> 00:22:38,702 then I'd have more success with men. 472 00:22:38,736 --> 00:22:40,945 Women are often taught growing up 473 00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:44,397 that you're there to, like, ease social situations 474 00:22:44,432 --> 00:22:46,226 and to make people feel comfortable 475 00:22:46,261 --> 00:22:48,125 and not to make a fuss. 476 00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:51,611 But it's actually not just coolness that makes a woman attractive. 477 00:22:51,646 --> 00:22:54,787 It's her willingness to play the part of the muse. 478 00:22:54,821 --> 00:22:57,755 They're there to inspire and facilitate 479 00:22:57,790 --> 00:22:59,757 the greatness of their male counterparts 480 00:22:59,792 --> 00:23:03,416 rather than to have that within themselves. 481 00:23:03,451 --> 00:23:06,454 For example, Sam inGarden State. 482 00:23:06,488 --> 00:23:08,214 The scene where she's like, 483 00:23:08,248 --> 00:23:10,768 "Sometimes, I like to make a noise 484 00:23:10,803 --> 00:23:12,460 "that no one's ever made before." 485 00:23:12,494 --> 00:23:16,015 And then they make these kind of squeaky, kooky noises. 486 00:23:19,915 --> 00:23:21,779 Like, this is supposed to be the character trait 487 00:23:21,814 --> 00:23:26,025 that makes you think that she's this really extraordinary person. 488 00:23:31,686 --> 00:23:35,724 She's got no agency, or desire, or humanity 489 00:23:35,759 --> 00:23:38,969 beyond being a mirror to reflect him 490 00:23:39,003 --> 00:23:41,454 and to allow him to find himself. 491 00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:46,114 Even500 Days of Summer, 492 00:23:46,148 --> 00:23:48,875 which was marketed as a subversion of the genre 493 00:23:48,910 --> 00:23:51,947 because of its unusual storytelling devices. 494 00:23:51,982 --> 00:23:54,225 And the scene in which the leading man performs 495 00:23:54,260 --> 00:23:56,711 a post-coital dance routine, 496 00:23:56,745 --> 00:24:00,715 still presents its female lead, Summer, in a troubling way. 497 00:24:00,749 --> 00:24:03,511 We're introduced to her riding on a bike. 498 00:24:03,545 --> 00:24:06,479 And are told her height, weight, 499 00:24:06,514 --> 00:24:09,517 and her uncontrollable effect on men. 500 00:24:09,551 --> 00:24:12,485 In 1998, Summer quoted a song 501 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,694 by the Scottish band, Belle and Sebastian, 502 00:24:14,729 --> 00:24:16,489 in her high school yearbook. 503 00:24:16,524 --> 00:24:20,424 The spike in Michigan sales of their album,The Boy with the Arab Strap, 504 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,495 continues to puzzle industry analysts. 505 00:24:22,530 --> 00:24:26,879 Summer's employment at The Daily Freeze during her sophomore year 506 00:24:26,913 --> 00:24:30,814 coincided with an inexplicable 212% increase in revenue. 507 00:24:31,815 --> 00:24:33,955 And her round-trip commute to work 508 00:24:33,989 --> 00:24:37,234 averaged 18.4 double-takes per day. 509 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:38,615 Looking back, 510 00:24:38,649 --> 00:24:41,134 I didn't realize that someone was being objectified 511 00:24:41,169 --> 00:24:43,689 because she's shown through a lens of indieness. 512 00:24:43,723 --> 00:24:47,037 "I am being different because I'm this, like, skinny white dude." 513 00:24:47,071 --> 00:24:48,348 But really, it's like, 514 00:24:48,383 --> 00:24:49,798 "Well, you're still treating them the same way." 515 00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:52,007 Even though they're not in a bikini, 516 00:24:52,042 --> 00:24:56,115 you're still using the same, basically, misogynistic tropes. 517 00:24:56,149 --> 00:24:57,323 Why is it pretty girls think 518 00:24:57,357 --> 00:24:59,601 they can treat people like crap and get away with it? 519 00:24:59,636 --> 00:25:01,672 Centuries of reinforcement. 520 00:25:03,260 --> 00:25:05,745 I rewatched 500 Days of Summer recently 521 00:25:05,780 --> 00:25:09,266 and was struck by the title card that opens the film. 522 00:25:14,961 --> 00:25:18,551 On the whole, romantic comedies of this era led me to believe 523 00:25:18,586 --> 00:25:19,863 that my main priority 524 00:25:19,897 --> 00:25:23,798 was to find a man and make him happy. 525 00:25:23,832 --> 00:25:25,731 Women aren't supposed to be hungry 526 00:25:25,765 --> 00:25:27,146 for anything except love. 527 00:25:28,492 --> 00:25:32,600 Overeating, sleeping around, or overworking 528 00:25:32,634 --> 00:25:34,256 are all ways to fill a void 529 00:25:34,291 --> 00:25:37,846 that's been left by not having a relationship. 530 00:25:37,881 --> 00:25:40,849 Which, of course, is... We all know is true, right? 531 00:25:40,884 --> 00:25:42,299 Tell me, when is the last time 532 00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:43,956 that you went on a real live date? 533 00:25:43,990 --> 00:25:46,475 I'm concentrating on my career right now. 534 00:25:46,510 --> 00:25:48,132 Do you own any colored underwear, 535 00:25:48,167 --> 00:25:49,306 stripes or anything? 536 00:25:50,790 --> 00:25:53,690 There are still these very archaic rules 537 00:25:53,724 --> 00:25:55,277 about who's allowed what. 538 00:25:55,312 --> 00:25:58,626 If you want sex, that means you don't get love. 539 00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:01,836 I don't think I've ever watched a rom-com 540 00:26:01,870 --> 00:26:04,977 and related to the main character 541 00:26:05,011 --> 00:26:06,323 and been like, "Oh, but you know, 542 00:26:06,357 --> 00:26:08,946 "we totally share the same views about sex." 543 00:26:08,981 --> 00:26:11,500 You think of, like, Ashley Judd inSomeone Like You, 544 00:26:11,535 --> 00:26:13,088 blowing the dust off her diaphragm. 545 00:26:13,123 --> 00:26:16,057 Why was it stored somewhere that it was getting so dusty? 546 00:26:16,091 --> 00:26:17,886 Like, where has it been? And also, are you... 547 00:26:17,921 --> 00:26:19,750 You're not gonna wash that off? 548 00:26:19,785 --> 00:26:21,269 Like, are we not gonna talk about that? 549 00:26:21,303 --> 00:26:23,892 Women are very rarely sexy in sex scenes. 550 00:26:23,927 --> 00:26:25,411 There's always, like, a guy on top, 551 00:26:25,445 --> 00:26:28,172 and they're, like, trying to coax something out of him. 552 00:26:28,207 --> 00:26:31,244 For films that are effectively about the ultimate goal 553 00:26:31,279 --> 00:26:34,662 being romantic satisfaction and happiness, 554 00:26:34,696 --> 00:26:36,664 it's never about sexual satisfaction. 555 00:26:36,698 --> 00:26:39,805 Because if someone's sexually satisfied, 556 00:26:39,839 --> 00:26:41,807 it means that they're a slut. 557 00:26:41,841 --> 00:26:44,188 That selfish whore. 558 00:26:44,223 --> 00:26:47,157 We're sluts, Emma. We're dirty, dirty sluts. 559 00:26:47,951 --> 00:26:50,505 Barfing, fucking, screwing, 560 00:26:50,539 --> 00:26:53,232 the great days of nobody's fool. 561 00:26:53,266 --> 00:26:55,510 Why don't you start taking cash for your services? 562 00:26:55,544 --> 00:26:57,685 It would be more honest. 563 00:26:57,719 --> 00:27:00,170 That girl is a slut. She completely trapped that guy. 564 00:27:01,965 --> 00:27:04,243 InWhat's Your Number?, a woman who's slept with 19 men 565 00:27:04,277 --> 00:27:07,073 reads an article that tells her that women who have slept 566 00:27:07,108 --> 00:27:09,731 with more than 20 men won't get married. 567 00:27:09,766 --> 00:27:11,975 I see it in my practice all the time. 568 00:27:12,009 --> 00:27:13,528 When you're too sexually available, 569 00:27:13,562 --> 00:27:14,978 it messes with your self-esteem. 570 00:27:15,012 --> 00:27:18,878 Next thing you know, you're 45, no self-respect, no husband, 571 00:27:18,913 --> 00:27:21,018 and no muscle tone in your pelvic floor. 572 00:27:21,053 --> 00:27:23,296 She treats this as gospel 573 00:27:23,331 --> 00:27:25,782 and decides to marry the next man she sleeps with. 574 00:27:25,816 --> 00:27:28,888 The next guy who vacations at Casa Esperanza 575 00:27:28,923 --> 00:27:30,856 is going to be my husband. 576 00:27:30,890 --> 00:27:32,892 It means that you're damaged goods, 577 00:27:32,927 --> 00:27:35,239 that you're this object that someone wants, 578 00:27:35,274 --> 00:27:38,346 and your premium is much higher if you're untainted. 579 00:27:38,380 --> 00:27:41,038 A man is supposed to be attracted to a woman 580 00:27:41,073 --> 00:27:44,455 who can be fully owned by him. It's really gross. 581 00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:47,079 The romantic comedies I watched didn't expect me 582 00:27:47,113 --> 00:27:49,598 to be concerned with my own sexual desire. 583 00:27:49,633 --> 00:27:53,533 In them, women are there to make their partner feel good about himself 584 00:27:53,568 --> 00:27:55,397 and his prowess. 585 00:27:55,432 --> 00:27:58,055 The Sweetest Thing, written by Nancy Pimental, 586 00:27:58,090 --> 00:28:01,645 attempts to skewer this ridiculous trope. 587 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,165 What do we always tell them no matter what? 588 00:28:04,199 --> 00:28:05,131 Oh. 589 00:28:07,340 --> 00:28:13,105 "Oh, my God. Your penis is so... Big." 590 00:28:13,139 --> 00:28:14,244 Good girl. 591 00:28:14,278 --> 00:28:17,281 They sing this weird goofy song 592 00:28:17,316 --> 00:28:20,526 that I'm just gonna call, "The Penis Song." 593 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,978 You're too big to fit in here. 594 00:28:24,012 --> 00:28:26,912 Too big to fit in here. Ow! 595 00:28:26,946 --> 00:28:29,086 Too big to fit in here. 596 00:28:35,921 --> 00:28:38,613 to fit in here 597 00:28:45,137 --> 00:28:47,208 -Oh, my God. -Oh, my God, it's fame. 598 00:28:47,242 --> 00:28:50,487 Everyone in the restaurant is, like, immediately on board. 599 00:28:50,521 --> 00:28:54,387 No one's like, "Who are these annoying women ruining our lunch?" 600 00:28:56,804 --> 00:29:01,394 Then there's this old woman that's completely stealing the scene. 601 00:29:01,429 --> 00:29:03,949 Scene stealer! 602 00:29:15,477 --> 00:29:18,895 Okay, it's pulling me round now. 603 00:29:28,939 --> 00:29:33,150 It's my feeling that the films influence me and my behavior. 604 00:29:33,185 --> 00:29:36,913 But for every rom-com queen there must be a king. 605 00:29:36,947 --> 00:29:39,122 So, how do the men in the films behave? 606 00:29:41,503 --> 00:29:42,746 Ew! 607 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,472 People don't really talk about the men 608 00:29:44,506 --> 00:29:46,405 in romantic comedies too much. 609 00:29:47,371 --> 00:29:48,925 When I watch these films now, 610 00:29:48,959 --> 00:29:51,997 I'm always taken aback at how aggressive 611 00:29:52,031 --> 00:29:54,344 the men are in the way that they pursue women. 612 00:29:55,552 --> 00:29:57,485 -I said no. -No? 613 00:29:57,519 --> 00:29:58,866 -No. -Why not? 614 00:29:58,900 --> 00:30:00,315 Because I don't wanna go have a drink with you. 615 00:30:00,350 --> 00:30:02,490 I wanna go home. Is that so hard to understand? 616 00:30:02,524 --> 00:30:04,147 Hey. Hey. Hey. 617 00:30:04,181 --> 00:30:06,321 What's going on? Are you mad or something? 618 00:30:07,460 --> 00:30:09,186 Go on, say it. You know what, 619 00:30:09,221 --> 00:30:12,017 no matter what it is, we're gonna work it out. 620 00:30:13,087 --> 00:30:16,435 Hal, I'm not attracted to you. 621 00:30:17,712 --> 00:30:18,886 So what? 622 00:30:19,783 --> 00:30:21,336 InThe Last Kiss, 623 00:30:21,371 --> 00:30:24,719 Zach Braff plays a man living with his pregnant girlfriend. 624 00:30:24,753 --> 00:30:27,135 Finding himself unable to commit, 625 00:30:27,170 --> 00:30:30,138 he begins an affair with a college student. 626 00:30:30,173 --> 00:30:32,209 You make me feel ten years younger. 627 00:30:32,796 --> 00:30:34,039 Ten years? 628 00:30:34,073 --> 00:30:36,282 Then I'm seducing a younger man. 629 00:30:36,317 --> 00:30:38,353 Excellent. 630 00:30:38,388 --> 00:30:40,562 You're trying to make me lose my mind, aren't you? 631 00:30:40,597 --> 00:30:42,150 I've already lost mine. 632 00:30:45,153 --> 00:30:47,638 When his girlfriend finds out, she's devastated, 633 00:30:47,673 --> 00:30:49,640 and kicks him out of the house. 634 00:30:49,675 --> 00:30:51,021 Who is she? 635 00:30:51,056 --> 00:30:53,852 -What are you talking about? -I want to know who she is. 636 00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:55,992 Who were you with, Michael? 637 00:30:58,408 --> 00:31:00,928 This girl I met. It was nothing. It was nothing. 638 00:31:01,929 --> 00:31:04,621 Oh, God! You make me sick! 639 00:31:04,655 --> 00:31:06,174 But it didn't mean anything, baby. 640 00:31:06,209 --> 00:31:08,383 She made me realize I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 641 00:31:08,418 --> 00:31:10,938 -I know that now. -I'm three months pregnant 642 00:31:10,972 --> 00:31:12,974 and you're already out trying to fuck other women! 643 00:31:13,009 --> 00:31:14,596 -Jenna. -Get out right now. 644 00:31:14,631 --> 00:31:16,495 I'll tell you when you can come back and get your shit. 645 00:31:16,529 --> 00:31:19,187 -Maybe Kimmy can help you pack. -Jenna, we're having a baby. 646 00:31:19,222 --> 00:31:22,018 Get out of here! Go back to fucking Kim! 647 00:31:22,052 --> 00:31:23,847 What, are you gonna fucking stab me, Jenna? 648 00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:25,607 -Get out! -Are you out of your fucking mind? 649 00:31:25,642 --> 00:31:27,368 -Get the fuck out of here! -Are you out of your fucking mind? 650 00:31:27,402 --> 00:31:30,371 -Get the fuck out! -Fuck you! Fuck you! 651 00:31:30,405 --> 00:31:32,718 He asks her father for advice, 652 00:31:32,752 --> 00:31:35,686 who tells him that he should try and win back the daughter. 653 00:31:35,721 --> 00:31:39,035 I will do anything in the world to get your daughter back. 654 00:31:39,069 --> 00:31:40,657 Well, it's very simple. 655 00:31:42,762 --> 00:31:44,385 Just do whatever it takes. 656 00:31:48,113 --> 00:31:52,255 So he camps out on her porch for days, 657 00:31:52,289 --> 00:31:54,257 waiting for her to forgive him. 658 00:31:54,291 --> 00:31:56,362 I really worry about where he was going to the toilet, 659 00:31:56,397 --> 00:32:00,815 for the three days that he was lying, not moving, on the porch. 660 00:32:00,849 --> 00:32:03,438 It's horrible. 661 00:32:03,473 --> 00:32:06,510 Can you imagine if your partner was lying outside 662 00:32:06,545 --> 00:32:09,479 shitting themselves for three days 663 00:32:09,513 --> 00:32:13,103 bullying you into you taking them back. 664 00:32:13,138 --> 00:32:15,934 In real life, I hope that this kind of behavior 665 00:32:15,968 --> 00:32:18,350 wouldn't end in reconciliation. 666 00:32:18,384 --> 00:32:20,421 But in the film, it's successful. 667 00:32:22,768 --> 00:32:24,287 And there are many more examples 668 00:32:24,321 --> 00:32:27,600 of men exhibiting aggressive and controlling behavior 669 00:32:27,635 --> 00:32:29,085 in romantic comedies. 670 00:32:35,712 --> 00:32:40,165 The tenacious man is an incredibly harmful portrayal of men to watch. 671 00:32:40,199 --> 00:32:42,374 It goes against every idea of consent, 672 00:32:42,408 --> 00:32:44,376 and that you should respect women's boundaries. 673 00:32:44,410 --> 00:32:46,550 It says, "If you just do this inappropriate thing, 674 00:32:46,585 --> 00:32:49,933 "or stalk her a little bit more or catfish her, 675 00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:51,762 "then one day she might fall for you." 676 00:32:54,351 --> 00:32:56,112 People talk about romantic comedies 677 00:32:56,146 --> 00:32:59,356 giving women a lot of unrealistic expectations about relationships, 678 00:32:59,391 --> 00:33:03,602 but I think they give men, perhaps, some even more damaging ones. 679 00:33:12,576 --> 00:33:13,405 Rob? 680 00:33:13,439 --> 00:33:15,855 Laura, I just want to say something. 681 00:33:15,890 --> 00:33:16,822 I think you're running. 682 00:33:16,856 --> 00:33:18,479 And... And he doesn't love you. 683 00:33:19,721 --> 00:33:22,000 And he doesn't understand you, not the way I will. 684 00:33:22,034 --> 00:33:24,450 And I will even more so in the future. 685 00:33:30,422 --> 00:33:31,699 I like you, Tom, 686 00:33:31,733 --> 00:33:33,287 I just don't want a relation... 687 00:33:33,321 --> 00:33:35,254 Well, you're not the only one that gets a say in this! 688 00:33:35,289 --> 00:33:38,085 I do, too. And I say we're a couple, God damn it! 689 00:33:40,708 --> 00:33:43,228 I don't love you anymore. 690 00:33:44,574 --> 00:33:46,058 No, I... 691 00:33:46,093 --> 00:33:47,404 I refuse to accept that. 692 00:33:47,439 --> 00:33:49,130 Izzy, go home! 693 00:33:57,311 --> 00:33:59,830 those girls a chance 694 00:34:09,185 --> 00:34:11,428 It's easy to see 695 00:34:11,463 --> 00:34:16,088 Into lies 696 00:34:16,123 --> 00:34:20,541 at playing the nice guy 697 00:34:20,575 --> 00:34:25,649 That you're a nice guy 698 00:34:30,585 --> 00:34:32,691 Over your bed? 699 00:34:32,725 --> 00:34:35,142 And round your head? 700 00:34:43,046 --> 00:34:45,186 Matter at all 701 00:34:59,925 --> 00:35:01,478 While I might claim 702 00:35:01,513 --> 00:35:04,378 that romantic comedies negatively influenced my behavior, 703 00:35:04,412 --> 00:35:07,622 at least I saw elements of myself reflected in them. 704 00:35:07,657 --> 00:35:09,797 This isn't the case for everyone. 705 00:35:09,831 --> 00:35:12,455 In the majority of mainstream romantic comedies, 706 00:35:12,489 --> 00:35:15,182 there's a disturbing lack of any characters 707 00:35:15,216 --> 00:35:17,736 who aren't white, heterosexual, 708 00:35:17,770 --> 00:35:19,082 or middle-class. 709 00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:20,946 It's insane that there isn't, like, 710 00:35:20,980 --> 00:35:24,156 a really popular, funny rom-com 711 00:35:24,191 --> 00:35:26,227 about an interracial couple. 712 00:35:26,262 --> 00:35:27,642 Isn't that crazy? 713 00:35:27,677 --> 00:35:29,644 The only interracial couple I can think of is, 714 00:35:29,679 --> 00:35:32,130 and he doesn't even speak, I don't think, hardly, 715 00:35:32,164 --> 00:35:36,168 inLove Actually, Keira Knightley's husband is black. 716 00:35:36,203 --> 00:35:38,308 But then all the focus is on her white stalker. 717 00:35:40,448 --> 00:35:44,383 It's kind of interesting to think about 718 00:35:44,418 --> 00:35:47,697 romantic comedies as a brown woman, 719 00:35:47,731 --> 00:35:50,700 because so many of the mainstream Hollywood ones 720 00:35:50,734 --> 00:35:54,152 that I watched were about white women. 721 00:35:54,186 --> 00:35:56,361 It can feel jarring or distancing 722 00:35:56,395 --> 00:35:59,364 because you can see a tiny element of yourself. 723 00:35:59,398 --> 00:36:01,366 But it's also not you. 724 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,815 It's not your world. 725 00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:05,542 And it can be quite a weird experience to watch. 726 00:36:07,061 --> 00:36:08,994 Studio executives assume 727 00:36:09,028 --> 00:36:14,379 that white audiences won't "relate" to films that have got black leads in, 728 00:36:14,413 --> 00:36:16,864 which is obviously a racist assumption. 729 00:36:16,898 --> 00:36:20,143 And what about the women watching mainstream romantic comedies 730 00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:23,836 who don't resemble the very specific Hollywood ideal? 731 00:36:23,871 --> 00:36:27,012 The only images I see of someone who looks like me 732 00:36:27,046 --> 00:36:29,394 in films are "Before" pictures, 733 00:36:29,428 --> 00:36:32,673 and then a woman goes on to, like, hate herself 734 00:36:32,707 --> 00:36:35,054 or lose weight and then be happy. 735 00:36:35,089 --> 00:36:36,470 -You look fabulous. -Thank you. 736 00:36:36,504 --> 00:36:38,541 Look at you. What did you do? Is it your hair? What is it? 737 00:36:38,575 --> 00:36:40,888 It's my hair, and I have a little sun. 738 00:36:40,922 --> 00:36:43,235 -It's... -She lost 60 pounds. 739 00:36:45,133 --> 00:36:47,377 And... And I lost a little weight. 740 00:36:47,412 --> 00:36:49,103 -I see that. Yeah. -Yeah? 741 00:36:49,137 --> 00:36:50,346 -You look terrific. -Thank you. 742 00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:52,417 -Sixty pounds? -Yeah. 743 00:36:52,451 --> 00:36:54,798 -That's a Backstreet Boy. -Right? 744 00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:57,767 Or I see the sassy best friend 745 00:36:57,801 --> 00:37:01,011 who never has any kind of romantic potential. 746 00:37:01,046 --> 00:37:02,841 I'm doing the Dr. Riverbed fast. 747 00:37:02,875 --> 00:37:03,980 -Oh, yeah! -Yeah! 748 00:37:04,014 --> 00:37:05,257 What is that? 749 00:37:05,292 --> 00:37:07,880 Water, peach resin, apple pectin, shark extract, 750 00:37:07,915 --> 00:37:09,675 and Lawry's seasoning salt. 751 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:11,539 What about food? 752 00:37:11,574 --> 00:37:14,542 Look, I'm going to look amazing in that dress, 753 00:37:14,577 --> 00:37:16,268 I'm going to meet a Scottish man... 754 00:37:16,303 --> 00:37:19,237 And I'm gonna be happy! 755 00:37:19,271 --> 00:37:21,998 It's kind of this moral imperative 756 00:37:22,032 --> 00:37:23,206 for women to be thin. 757 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:25,104 Because thinness is linked to success, 758 00:37:25,139 --> 00:37:27,314 and is linked to fuck-ableness, 759 00:37:27,348 --> 00:37:30,386 and is linked to whether or not that person is lovable 760 00:37:30,420 --> 00:37:32,250 and worthy to care about. 761 00:37:32,284 --> 00:37:35,805 Being loved means caring about being thin. 762 00:37:35,839 --> 00:37:37,427 What are you doing? You're hurting her. 763 00:37:37,462 --> 00:37:39,222 I'm helping her. I did it to myself for years. 764 00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:40,672 She can take it. 765 00:37:40,706 --> 00:37:41,500 There it is. 766 00:37:41,535 --> 00:37:43,640 -Good job. 767 00:37:43,951 --> 00:37:45,193 Good job. 768 00:37:45,228 --> 00:37:47,472 Why would you ever do that to yourself? 769 00:37:47,506 --> 00:37:49,819 I wanted to be beautiful. 770 00:37:49,853 --> 00:37:55,997 We don't see anything but exactly what has been taught 771 00:37:56,032 --> 00:37:59,207 is, "normal and digestible." 772 00:37:59,242 --> 00:38:03,039 And anything that, probably, our parents were told to subscribe to 773 00:38:03,073 --> 00:38:05,524 and our grandparents were told to subscribe to, etc. etc. 774 00:38:05,559 --> 00:38:07,146 When I sawIn & Out, 775 00:38:07,181 --> 00:38:08,769 it was really affirming. 776 00:38:08,803 --> 00:38:11,081 -You know what you need? -I need a wedding! 777 00:38:22,817 --> 00:38:26,234 Again, looking back on it, all the stereotypes... 778 00:38:26,269 --> 00:38:28,375 -You're an English teacher. -Exactly. 779 00:38:28,409 --> 00:38:31,654 I mean, all this poetry, and odes, and bonnets... 780 00:38:31,688 --> 00:38:32,931 Sonnets? 781 00:38:32,965 --> 00:38:34,450 And you're kind of prissy. 782 00:38:34,864 --> 00:38:35,968 Prissy? 783 00:38:36,003 --> 00:38:37,522 All the weird tropes... 784 00:38:37,556 --> 00:38:40,007 -Uncut. -Funny Girl! 785 00:38:41,595 --> 00:38:44,356 ...that now as an adult gay man, like, 786 00:38:44,391 --> 00:38:45,806 I'm not that into. 787 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:50,328 If you see gay men, they have only one purpose, 788 00:38:50,362 --> 00:38:52,951 and that is to make the main character 789 00:38:52,985 --> 00:38:54,746 look like they have dimension. 790 00:38:54,780 --> 00:38:58,163 Which is the whole purpose of Rupert Everett in My Best Friend's Wedding. 791 00:39:01,753 --> 00:39:05,757 What dress to wear now 792 00:39:09,174 --> 00:39:11,901 She calls him when he's in the middle of important stuff. 793 00:39:11,935 --> 00:39:14,282 And it's not about her being selfish, 794 00:39:14,317 --> 00:39:17,424 it's about he's at her beck and call. 795 00:39:17,458 --> 00:39:19,598 George, answer this, damn it! 796 00:39:19,633 --> 00:39:21,566 -I'm in a meltdown here. 797 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,395 She double-crossed me! 798 00:39:23,430 --> 00:39:27,917 -The little twerp double-crossed me. 799 00:39:27,951 --> 00:39:29,228 I'm running out of time. 800 00:39:29,263 --> 00:39:30,885 I'm completely out of sneaky ideas. 801 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,475 I've come to the end of my rapidly fraying rope. 802 00:39:34,510 --> 00:39:37,133 George, you have got to think of something! 803 00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:40,688 Even when romantic comedies 804 00:39:40,723 --> 00:39:43,795 do show gay characters in fulfilling relationships, 805 00:39:43,829 --> 00:39:46,625 it's always within a heteronormative framing. 806 00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:48,696 And it's often tinged with tragedy, 807 00:39:48,731 --> 00:39:51,561 as we see inFour Weddings and a Funeral. 808 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,703 Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. 809 00:39:56,635 --> 00:39:59,535 He said it was easier to get enthusiastic 810 00:39:59,569 --> 00:40:01,502 about a ceremony one had an outside chance 811 00:40:01,537 --> 00:40:03,884 of eventually being involved in. 812 00:40:03,918 --> 00:40:05,713 As ever, the problem with these things 813 00:40:05,748 --> 00:40:07,612 is that these bits of representation 814 00:40:07,646 --> 00:40:09,407 are being driven by people 815 00:40:09,441 --> 00:40:12,617 with no real experience or familiarity 816 00:40:12,651 --> 00:40:14,446 with the thing they're trying to represent. 817 00:40:14,481 --> 00:40:17,069 I'm sure plenty of people in Hollywood 818 00:40:17,104 --> 00:40:19,209 have a gay acquaintance 819 00:40:19,244 --> 00:40:22,385 that they might see in this sort of stereotypical way, 820 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:26,009 because they don't see the full magnitude of their personhood. 821 00:40:26,044 --> 00:40:30,635 They only see a very specific version of the person. 822 00:40:30,669 --> 00:40:32,913 -What the hell was that? -I'm showing you the magic. 823 00:40:32,947 --> 00:40:35,398 No, I said come 90 and then I come ten. 824 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,089 My mouth was open, Albert! 825 00:40:37,124 --> 00:40:39,057 You overeager son of a... 826 00:40:39,091 --> 00:40:40,645 Blecch! 827 00:40:40,679 --> 00:40:42,405 -Oh, excuse me. -Yeah. 828 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,580 Are you running this whole thing? 829 00:40:45,339 --> 00:40:46,927 Oh, sure. 830 00:40:46,961 --> 00:40:48,929 Walk up to the first homo you see 831 00:40:48,963 --> 00:40:51,345 and assume he's the wedding coordinator. Right? Nice. 832 00:40:51,379 --> 00:40:53,243 No, no, I didn't mean that. 833 00:40:53,278 --> 00:40:54,693 Nice stereotype, buddy. Nice. 834 00:40:54,728 --> 00:40:56,523 Did I hear someone say, "Wedding coordinator?" 835 00:40:56,557 --> 00:40:59,629 That would be moi. So, how can I help you? 836 00:41:02,770 --> 00:41:06,636 -These aren't my clothes. -Well, where are your clothes? 837 00:41:07,257 --> 00:41:08,431 I've lost my clothes. 838 00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,675 Well, why are you wearing these clothes? 839 00:41:10,709 --> 00:41:13,678 Because I just went gay, all of a sudden. 840 00:41:13,712 --> 00:41:15,990 Why don't you just go to a gay bar? 841 00:41:19,166 --> 00:41:22,618 At this point, it would be wonderful to talk about the portrayal 842 00:41:22,652 --> 00:41:25,068 of gay women and bisexuals in the films, 843 00:41:25,103 --> 00:41:26,484 and of trans people. 844 00:41:27,001 --> 00:41:28,762 But I can't. 845 00:41:28,796 --> 00:41:32,800 Because they almost never appear in mainstream Hollywood rom-coms. 846 00:41:32,835 --> 00:41:36,079 And the films also rarely show people with disabilities, 847 00:41:36,114 --> 00:41:38,254 or people from lower-income backgrounds. 848 00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:40,877 Nobody is a drop out. 849 00:41:40,912 --> 00:41:44,018 Everyone has post-secondary education. 850 00:41:44,053 --> 00:41:48,298 Everybody lives in neighborhoods that are "good." 851 00:41:48,333 --> 00:41:52,544 You have these characters who have, like, dead-end jobs, 852 00:41:52,579 --> 00:41:55,305 but seem to live very, very stable lives. 853 00:41:56,583 --> 00:41:58,619 Even if their job is, like, 854 00:41:58,654 --> 00:42:02,105 getting fired from being a waiter in the first act. 855 00:42:02,140 --> 00:42:04,142 But then again, you know, it was the '90s. 856 00:42:04,176 --> 00:42:06,662 I'm never gonna find another part-time job, 857 00:42:06,696 --> 00:42:08,629 and then I'm not gonna be able to pay my rent, 858 00:42:08,664 --> 00:42:11,494 and I'm gonna have to move. To Brooklyn! 859 00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:13,772 Ah, the joy of rent control. 860 00:42:13,807 --> 00:42:16,292 Six rooms, $450 a month. 861 00:42:16,326 --> 00:42:19,951 Perhaps the reason for this skewed or narrow representation 862 00:42:19,985 --> 00:42:21,815 is because of the demographics of the people 863 00:42:21,849 --> 00:42:23,955 in power behind the camera. 864 00:42:25,784 --> 00:42:27,337 It's that, overwhelmingly, 865 00:42:27,372 --> 00:42:30,237 there's a certain type of person whose perspective we hear, 866 00:42:30,271 --> 00:42:33,136 like people coming from a certain background 867 00:42:33,171 --> 00:42:35,104 or certain experience. 868 00:42:35,138 --> 00:42:37,140 There isn't a space for enough challenge, 869 00:42:37,175 --> 00:42:40,316 coming from different writers and different directors. 870 00:42:40,350 --> 00:42:43,008 Men are the people that are in power, 871 00:42:43,043 --> 00:42:45,079 like you always have male producers 872 00:42:45,114 --> 00:42:47,703 or male heads of studios, and usually male directors. 873 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,638 For all the Hollywood liberalism, 874 00:42:51,672 --> 00:42:53,191 all the guys that are making these decisions, 875 00:42:53,225 --> 00:42:55,469 are the same 60-year-old white dudes. 876 00:42:55,503 --> 00:42:56,539 It could be Wall Street. 877 00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:58,817 You're not here to love anybody. 878 00:42:58,852 --> 00:43:01,751 You're here to promote a movie. That's it. Period. 879 00:43:02,545 --> 00:43:03,753 I've worked in film 880 00:43:03,788 --> 00:43:06,411 and I've seen how it works behind the scenes. 881 00:43:06,445 --> 00:43:08,102 It's about money, 882 00:43:08,137 --> 00:43:10,898 and it's about what the industry thinks people want to see, 883 00:43:10,933 --> 00:43:14,177 which is never what people actually want to see. 884 00:43:14,212 --> 00:43:19,424 Gay people, black people, women, are all capable of making good movies. 885 00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:20,839 So what's the hang-up? 886 00:43:20,874 --> 00:43:23,393 And I don't have anything against straight white guys, 887 00:43:23,428 --> 00:43:28,433 but to say that it isn't disproportionately in their favor is ludicrous. 888 00:43:28,467 --> 00:43:29,676 Now, as an adult, 889 00:43:29,710 --> 00:43:31,988 in a happy, balanced relationship, 890 00:43:32,023 --> 00:43:33,749 I can clearly see the negative aspects 891 00:43:33,783 --> 00:43:36,855 of so many romantic comedies I once loved. 892 00:43:36,890 --> 00:43:41,101 And yet, I still find myself watching these films. 893 00:43:41,135 --> 00:43:43,828 And I'm moved by them, despite their flaws. 894 00:43:43,862 --> 00:43:46,209 It's wonderful watching people fall in love. 895 00:43:46,244 --> 00:43:47,694 Like, it's very uplifting. 896 00:43:47,728 --> 00:43:49,143 It's a thrill, it's a fantasy, 897 00:43:49,178 --> 00:43:52,250 it's like something that you're experiencing 898 00:43:52,284 --> 00:43:55,115 for a cinematic emotion. 899 00:43:55,149 --> 00:43:57,807 And not because you necessarily condone or agree 900 00:43:57,842 --> 00:43:59,844 with everything that's happening on the screen. 901 00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:03,675 Disneyland of the heart or something. 902 00:44:03,710 --> 00:44:05,056 You wouldn't want to go there all the time, 903 00:44:05,090 --> 00:44:06,402 it's not something you would want for yourself, 904 00:44:06,436 --> 00:44:10,889 but it's not an unpleasant fantasy to entertain. 905 00:44:12,995 --> 00:44:16,032 You're given all the little tiny, bubbly feelings 906 00:44:16,067 --> 00:44:18,310 of what it would be like to be in love. 907 00:44:18,345 --> 00:44:19,795 But it's never treacherous. 908 00:44:21,589 --> 00:44:22,970 They resonate because, 909 00:44:23,005 --> 00:44:25,386 even if the circumstances in them are completely ludicrous, 910 00:44:25,421 --> 00:44:28,458 there are moments of real humanity written into them. 911 00:44:30,115 --> 00:44:33,671 It's the watching someone ride off into the sunset, isn't it? 912 00:44:33,705 --> 00:44:36,501 You only imagine something beautiful is going to happen, 913 00:44:36,535 --> 00:44:38,676 but you don't know what it is. 914 00:44:38,710 --> 00:44:42,714 Romantic comedies tap into universal human desire. 915 00:44:42,749 --> 00:44:44,371 We all want to be loved. 916 00:44:46,097 --> 00:44:48,962 Maybe we want that for a lifetime. 917 00:44:48,996 --> 00:44:52,966 But maybe we only want that for one night. 918 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,315 Either way, the desire for that connection is always there. 919 00:44:57,349 --> 00:45:00,076 The films have a very simple way of showing this. 920 00:45:00,111 --> 00:45:03,770 They present the love interests as two parts of one whole. 921 00:45:03,804 --> 00:45:06,082 Plato tells us we began as circles. 922 00:45:06,117 --> 00:45:07,877 And when we strived to be like the gods, 923 00:45:07,912 --> 00:45:11,294 we were punished by a thunderbolt that struck us, 924 00:45:11,329 --> 00:45:14,712 and cut us right down, dead-center, in half. 925 00:45:15,851 --> 00:45:17,887 And we scattered to the ends of the earth, 926 00:45:17,922 --> 00:45:20,752 searching and searching 927 00:45:20,787 --> 00:45:22,512 for our other half. 928 00:45:22,547 --> 00:45:24,342 Or to put it another way... 929 00:45:24,376 --> 00:45:25,723 You... 930 00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,519 Complete me. 931 00:45:30,900 --> 00:45:33,178 For me, the pinnacle of romantic comedies 932 00:45:33,213 --> 00:45:36,354 is Nora Ephron's When Harry Met Sally. 933 00:45:36,388 --> 00:45:38,908 And this masterpiece wholeheartedly embraces 934 00:45:38,943 --> 00:45:41,911 the idea that the two lovers should be opposites, 935 00:45:41,946 --> 00:45:44,258 who unite and complete each other. 936 00:45:46,053 --> 00:45:48,849 Harry is doomy and full of cynicism, 937 00:45:48,884 --> 00:45:50,126 which is in stark contrast 938 00:45:50,161 --> 00:45:52,888 to Sally's upbeat, positive persona. 939 00:45:52,922 --> 00:45:55,476 -Yes, basically I'm a happy person. -So am I. 940 00:45:55,511 --> 00:45:57,720 And I don't see that there's anything wrong with that. 941 00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:59,791 Of course not. You're too busy being happy. 942 00:45:59,826 --> 00:46:00,965 Do you ever think about death? 943 00:46:00,999 --> 00:46:02,656 -Yes. -Sure you do. 944 00:46:02,690 --> 00:46:05,072 A fleeting thought that's just in and out of the transom of your mind. 945 00:46:05,107 --> 00:46:06,867 I spend hours. I spend days. 946 00:46:06,902 --> 00:46:08,938 And you think this makes you a better person? 947 00:46:08,973 --> 00:46:10,802 Well, when the shit comes down, 948 00:46:10,837 --> 00:46:12,148 I'm gonna be prepared and you're not, 949 00:46:12,183 --> 00:46:13,529 -that's all I'm saying. -In the meantime, 950 00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:15,773 you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it. 951 00:46:15,807 --> 00:46:18,603 At first, their differences drive them apart. 952 00:46:18,637 --> 00:46:21,848 But then, as they grow older and move through the world, 953 00:46:21,882 --> 00:46:23,884 they're faced with challenges. 954 00:46:23,919 --> 00:46:25,506 You're not with Joe anymore? 955 00:46:26,231 --> 00:46:27,301 We just broke up. 956 00:46:27,646 --> 00:46:28,924 Aww. 957 00:46:28,958 --> 00:46:30,477 I'm sorry. That's too bad. 958 00:46:31,892 --> 00:46:35,171 Yeah. Well, you know... Yeah. 959 00:46:36,276 --> 00:46:37,311 So... 960 00:46:38,416 --> 00:46:40,487 -What about you? -I'm fine. 961 00:46:40,521 --> 00:46:41,799 How's married life? 962 00:46:43,628 --> 00:46:46,217 Not so good. I am getting a divorce. 963 00:46:46,700 --> 00:46:48,115 Oh, I'm sorry. 964 00:46:48,978 --> 00:46:51,118 I'm really sorry. 965 00:46:51,153 --> 00:46:53,224 Yeah, well, what're you gonna do? 966 00:46:53,258 --> 00:46:54,570 Gradually, through sharing 967 00:46:54,604 --> 00:46:56,710 their contrasting worldviews with each other, 968 00:46:56,744 --> 00:46:58,746 they begin to make sense of themselves, 969 00:46:58,781 --> 00:47:00,058 and their lives. 970 00:47:00,093 --> 00:47:02,095 Harry, you're gonna have to try and find a way 971 00:47:02,129 --> 00:47:04,856 of not expressing every feeling that you have, 972 00:47:04,891 --> 00:47:07,134 every moment that you have them. 973 00:47:07,169 --> 00:47:08,101 Oh, really? 974 00:47:08,722 --> 00:47:09,792 Yes. 975 00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:13,347 There are times and places for things. 976 00:47:13,382 --> 00:47:16,005 Well, the next time you're giving a lecture series on social graces, 977 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,007 would you let me know? 'Cause I'll sign up. 978 00:47:18,628 --> 00:47:20,078 Hey. 979 00:47:20,113 --> 00:47:22,115 You don't have to take your anger out on me. 980 00:47:22,149 --> 00:47:24,462 Oh, I think I'm entitled to throw a little anger your way. 981 00:47:24,496 --> 00:47:26,982 Especially when I'm being told how to live my life 982 00:47:27,016 --> 00:47:28,880 by Miss Hospital Corners. 983 00:47:28,915 --> 00:47:30,088 What's that supposed to mean? 984 00:47:30,123 --> 00:47:32,194 I mean, nothing bothers you. 985 00:47:32,228 --> 00:47:34,679 You never get upset about anything. 986 00:47:34,713 --> 00:47:36,301 Don't be ridiculous. 987 00:47:36,336 --> 00:47:37,751 What? 988 00:47:37,785 --> 00:47:39,235 You never get upset about Joe. 989 00:47:39,270 --> 00:47:42,169 I never see that back up on you. How is that possible? 990 00:47:42,204 --> 00:47:44,723 Don't you experience any feelings of loss? 991 00:47:44,758 --> 00:47:46,587 I don't have to take this crap from you. 992 00:47:46,622 --> 00:47:49,314 If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone? 993 00:47:49,349 --> 00:47:50,453 I see people. 994 00:47:50,488 --> 00:47:52,662 See people. Have you slept with one person 995 00:47:52,697 --> 00:47:53,905 since you broke up with Joe? 996 00:47:53,940 --> 00:47:56,908 What the hell does that have to do with anything? 997 00:47:56,943 --> 00:47:58,427 That will prove I'm over Joe, 998 00:47:58,461 --> 00:48:00,912 because I fuck somebody? 999 00:48:00,947 --> 00:48:02,880 Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey 1000 00:48:02,914 --> 00:48:04,709 because you've slept with everybody in New York, 1001 00:48:04,743 --> 00:48:05,952 and I don't see that turning Helen 1002 00:48:05,986 --> 00:48:08,471 into a faint memory for you. 1003 00:48:08,506 --> 00:48:11,543 Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. 1004 00:48:11,578 --> 00:48:14,892 Not the way you do it, like you're out for revenge or something. 1005 00:48:16,479 --> 00:48:17,549 Are you finished now? 1006 00:48:19,310 --> 00:48:20,276 Yes. 1007 00:48:20,967 --> 00:48:22,175 Can I say something? 1008 00:48:23,417 --> 00:48:24,418 Yes. 1009 00:48:27,697 --> 00:48:28,871 I'm sorry. 1010 00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:30,908 Ultimately, it's their differences 1011 00:48:30,942 --> 00:48:33,082 which make them an ideal fit. 1012 00:48:33,117 --> 00:48:35,360 This is a pattern we see repeatedly. 1013 00:48:35,982 --> 00:48:37,500 Sometimes, it's mundane. 1014 00:48:37,535 --> 00:48:39,157 InStranger Than Fiction, 1015 00:48:39,192 --> 00:48:41,159 an uptight IRS man falls in love 1016 00:48:41,194 --> 00:48:43,955 with the rebellious, tattooed pastry chef, 1017 00:48:43,990 --> 00:48:45,198 he's supposed to be auditing. 1018 00:48:45,232 --> 00:48:46,509 Mr. Crick. 1019 00:48:46,544 --> 00:48:48,166 Yes, what is it? 1020 00:48:48,201 --> 00:48:51,411 You're staring at my tits. 1021 00:48:51,445 --> 00:48:54,276 Uh, I what? I don't think I was. 1022 00:48:54,310 --> 00:48:56,036 I don't think I would do that. 1023 00:48:56,071 --> 00:48:57,555 If I was, I can assure you, 1024 00:48:57,589 --> 00:49:01,110 it was only as a representative of the United States government. 1025 00:49:01,145 --> 00:49:03,319 But sometimes, it's more metaphorical. 1026 00:49:03,354 --> 00:49:05,770 InSplash, a man afraid of the sea... 1027 00:49:05,804 --> 00:49:08,842 Then you wouldn't want me to do this. 1028 00:49:08,876 --> 00:49:11,500 Stop! God, no. Please. 1029 00:49:11,534 --> 00:49:14,227 Falls in love with a mermaid. 1030 00:49:16,746 --> 00:49:20,681 This way of seeing romantic connection is incredibly satisfying, 1031 00:49:20,716 --> 00:49:22,614 and emotionally overwhelming. 1032 00:49:22,649 --> 00:49:25,790 In fact, so powerful is this way of portraying lovers 1033 00:49:25,824 --> 00:49:28,655 as two opposites attracting to complete each other, 1034 00:49:28,689 --> 00:49:32,003 that it's existed since at least the 17th century. 1035 00:49:32,038 --> 00:49:34,661 Shakespeare used it inMuch Ado About Nothing. 1036 00:49:34,695 --> 00:49:38,078 I wonder that you will still be talking, SignorBenedick. 1037 00:49:38,113 --> 00:49:39,769 -Nobody marks you. -What? 1038 00:49:39,804 --> 00:49:41,426 My dear Lady Disdain! 1039 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:44,050 Are you yet living? 1040 00:49:44,084 --> 00:49:45,948 Is it possible disdain should die 1041 00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:49,538 while she hath such meet food to feed it as SignorBenedick? 1042 00:49:51,195 --> 00:49:54,232 I do love nothing in the world so well as you. 1043 00:49:57,097 --> 00:49:58,719 Is not that strange? 1044 00:50:00,066 --> 00:50:02,654 As strange as the thing I know not. 1045 00:50:04,932 --> 00:50:06,693 It were as possible for me to say 1046 00:50:06,727 --> 00:50:09,282 I love nothing so well as you. 1047 00:50:09,316 --> 00:50:12,319 We also see this in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, 1048 00:50:12,354 --> 00:50:15,840 where the relaxed and unconventional Elizabeth Bennet 1049 00:50:15,874 --> 00:50:18,774 is the perfect match for the highly reserved Mr. Darcy. 1050 00:50:18,808 --> 00:50:21,087 I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry 1051 00:50:21,121 --> 00:50:22,640 -in driving away love. 1052 00:50:22,674 --> 00:50:24,400 I thought that poetry was the food of love. 1053 00:50:24,435 --> 00:50:26,333 Of a fine stout love, it may. 1054 00:50:26,368 --> 00:50:27,886 But if it is only a vague inclination, 1055 00:50:27,921 --> 00:50:30,303 I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead. 1056 00:50:30,337 --> 00:50:32,684 So, what do you recommend to encourage affection? 1057 00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:35,204 Dancing. 1058 00:50:36,205 --> 00:50:38,932 Even if one's partner is barely tolerable. 1059 00:50:38,966 --> 00:50:42,384 His anguished declaration of love is so successful 1060 00:50:42,418 --> 00:50:45,387 in eliciting an emotional response in audiences, 1061 00:50:45,421 --> 00:50:47,113 that it's become a trope, 1062 00:50:47,147 --> 00:50:49,391 used over and over again in romantic comedies. 1063 00:50:49,425 --> 00:50:51,082 I've fought against my better judgement, 1064 00:50:51,117 --> 00:50:52,532 my family's expectation, 1065 00:50:52,566 --> 00:50:54,637 the inferiority of your birth, my rank and circumstance... 1066 00:50:54,672 --> 00:50:56,294 All these things that I am willing to put them aside 1067 00:50:56,329 --> 00:50:58,089 and ask you to end my agony. 1068 00:50:58,124 --> 00:50:59,642 -I don't understand. -I love you. 1069 00:51:03,888 --> 00:51:05,131 Most ardently. 1070 00:51:08,651 --> 00:51:10,515 Please do me the honor of accepting my hand. 1071 00:51:10,550 --> 00:51:12,517 It's always one of the most human 1072 00:51:12,552 --> 00:51:14,830 and relatable moments in the films. 1073 00:51:14,864 --> 00:51:17,419 People convey those kinds of thoughts piecemeal 1074 00:51:17,453 --> 00:51:19,386 over the course of a relationship. 1075 00:51:19,421 --> 00:51:21,008 I don't mind the cinematic license 1076 00:51:21,043 --> 00:51:22,665 of presenting them in aggregate. 1077 00:51:22,700 --> 00:51:25,565 You become more wordy in moments of crisis. 1078 00:51:25,599 --> 00:51:28,119 Of course, I've performed speeches of love for guys, 1079 00:51:28,154 --> 00:51:29,983 I'm an actress. Everything is a movie to me. 1080 00:51:30,017 --> 00:51:34,125 Someone has formed a declaration of love for me, 1081 00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,817 but they didn't say any of the things 1082 00:51:36,852 --> 00:51:38,612 that I needed them to say. 1083 00:51:38,647 --> 00:51:39,924 It was awful. 1084 00:51:39,958 --> 00:51:43,548 I've done them in airports, in a supermarket. 1085 00:51:43,583 --> 00:51:46,517 Like, you just say it to each other in a mundane setting. 1086 00:51:46,551 --> 00:51:48,312 You can hear yourself. And it's like, "Wow. 1087 00:51:48,346 --> 00:51:50,935 "If anybody else hears me right now, can they actually just kill me?" 1088 00:51:50,969 --> 00:51:52,385 Because I would wanna kill myself. 1089 00:51:52,419 --> 00:51:55,871 He said stuff like, "If we had met on a dating app, 1090 00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:56,941 "we would have matched." 1091 00:51:56,975 --> 00:51:59,495 And that we had sparkling banter. 1092 00:51:59,530 --> 00:52:03,050 They must have been, "Yo, like she's insane." 1093 00:52:03,085 --> 00:52:04,535 They must've done! 1094 00:52:04,569 --> 00:52:06,502 They must have just been like, "Why does she think 1095 00:52:06,537 --> 00:52:09,091 "that she's in a Disney film right now?" 1096 00:52:09,126 --> 00:52:12,405 They must have done! 1097 00:52:12,439 --> 00:52:14,234 Do you wanna know the real reason why I came here tonight? 1098 00:52:14,269 --> 00:52:15,925 I closed my world off. 1099 00:52:17,272 --> 00:52:19,860 I put myself in a little box. 1100 00:52:19,895 --> 00:52:22,035 It was all my fault. I mean... 1101 00:52:22,069 --> 00:52:23,381 I'm the bastard here. 1102 00:52:23,416 --> 00:52:26,488 I'm immature, I'm unthoughtful, I'm a friggin' idiot. 1103 00:52:26,522 --> 00:52:29,180 I'm a liar and a phoney. A saxophone player. 1104 00:52:29,215 --> 00:52:30,940 But something's happened to me since I've... 1105 00:52:31,976 --> 00:52:33,080 Met you and... 1106 00:52:33,115 --> 00:52:35,393 I'm happiest when I'm being myself. 1107 00:52:35,428 --> 00:52:37,947 And I'm myself when I'm with you. 1108 00:52:37,982 --> 00:52:39,363 So... 1109 00:52:41,054 --> 00:52:44,230 I thought that I would come here and tell you something. 1110 00:52:44,609 --> 00:52:47,474 I like you. 1111 00:52:47,509 --> 00:52:48,682 I like you. 1112 00:52:49,096 --> 00:52:50,028 I want you. 1113 00:52:50,063 --> 00:52:51,237 I love you. 1114 00:52:51,271 --> 00:52:52,410 I love you. 1115 00:52:52,445 --> 00:52:54,240 I'm totally, completely in love with you, 1116 00:52:54,274 --> 00:52:55,862 and I don't care if you think it's too late, 1117 00:52:55,896 --> 00:52:57,312 I'm telling you anyway. 1118 00:53:00,418 --> 00:53:02,696 I'm crazy about you. I think about you all the time. 1119 00:53:02,731 --> 00:53:05,182 And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 1120 00:53:05,216 --> 00:53:07,218 'Cause like you said, "This is it." 1121 00:53:07,253 --> 00:53:08,461 "This is life." 1122 00:53:08,495 --> 00:53:10,532 I came here tonight because when you realize 1123 00:53:10,566 --> 00:53:12,775 you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, 1124 00:53:12,810 --> 00:53:15,606 you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. 1125 00:53:18,781 --> 00:53:19,989 And don't forget, 1126 00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,270 I'm also just a girl 1127 00:53:26,375 --> 00:53:27,997 standing in front of a boy, 1128 00:53:30,759 --> 00:53:32,416 asking him to love her. 1129 00:53:44,876 --> 00:53:47,707 Something about her 1130 00:53:47,741 --> 00:53:51,228 You see her clearly 1131 00:53:57,855 --> 00:54:01,721 You knew is shifting 1132 00:54:01,755 --> 00:54:06,243 It shows 1133 00:54:11,938 --> 00:54:15,769 This woman's in love 1134 00:54:24,778 --> 00:54:28,679 This woman's in love 1135 00:54:43,452 --> 00:54:46,869 You found her 1136 00:54:49,562 --> 00:54:53,220 She's in love 1137 00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,331 Recently, I've noticed a spate of films 1138 00:55:34,365 --> 00:55:36,540 that, while not marked as romantic comedies, 1139 00:55:36,574 --> 00:55:41,924 will exploit, enlist, or twist the structures and tropes of the rom-com 1140 00:55:41,959 --> 00:55:43,236 to their own ends. 1141 00:55:43,270 --> 00:55:45,307 They employ many of the same time-honored tricks 1142 00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:46,688 as the traditional rom-com, 1143 00:55:46,722 --> 00:55:49,415 and fall into some of the same traps. 1144 00:55:50,692 --> 00:55:53,591 I need a taxi. I got to get to the airport right now. 1145 00:55:53,626 --> 00:55:55,421 I gotta stop someone from getting married. 1146 00:55:55,455 --> 00:55:57,975 Flight leaves in... Oh. 1147 00:55:58,009 --> 00:55:59,804 I got like four hours. 1148 00:55:59,839 --> 00:56:02,462 The Break-Up attempts to subvert the rom-com narrative 1149 00:56:02,497 --> 00:56:04,568 by, as the title might suggest, 1150 00:56:04,602 --> 00:56:07,605 refusing to give its protagonists a happy ending. 1151 00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:09,158 You think that I nag you? 1152 00:56:09,193 --> 00:56:10,470 That's all you do! 1153 00:56:10,505 --> 00:56:11,989 All you do is nag me. 1154 00:56:12,023 --> 00:56:13,300 "The bathroom's a mess. 1155 00:56:13,335 --> 00:56:14,474 "Your belt doesn't match. 1156 00:56:14,509 --> 00:56:16,269 "Hey, Gary, you should probably go work out." 1157 00:56:16,303 --> 00:56:18,444 Nothing I ever do is ever good enough. 1158 00:56:18,478 --> 00:56:21,585 I just want to be left the hell alone! 1159 00:56:24,242 --> 00:56:25,589 -Is that what you want? -Yeah. 1160 00:56:25,623 --> 00:56:26,728 -That's what you want? -Yeah. 1161 00:56:26,762 --> 00:56:28,626 Fine. Great. Do whatever the hell you want. 1162 00:56:28,661 --> 00:56:30,387 You leave your socks all over this house. 1163 00:56:30,421 --> 00:56:31,974 Dress like a pig. 1164 00:56:32,009 --> 00:56:35,599 Play your stupid ass video game, I don't care. I'm done. 1165 00:56:35,633 --> 00:56:37,428 -What? -I am done. 1166 00:56:37,463 --> 00:56:39,844 I don't deserve this. I really do not deserve this. 1167 00:56:39,879 --> 00:56:41,950 I deserve somebody who gives a shit. 1168 00:56:41,984 --> 00:56:44,435 I'm not spending one more second of this life 1169 00:56:44,470 --> 00:56:46,989 with some inconsiderate prick. 1170 00:56:47,024 --> 00:56:48,750 You're a prick! 1171 00:56:48,784 --> 00:56:50,441 A far more interesting twist 1172 00:56:50,476 --> 00:56:52,650 comes from 2012'sRuby Sparks, 1173 00:56:52,685 --> 00:56:54,480 written by Zoe Kazan. 1174 00:56:54,514 --> 00:56:56,896 This rom-com plays with the genre's conventions. 1175 00:56:56,930 --> 00:57:00,106 and directly confronts the insidious "cool girl" trope 1176 00:57:00,140 --> 00:57:02,867 and the power of the male writers who indulge it. 1177 00:57:05,007 --> 00:57:07,941 A novelist describes his ideal woman in his new book 1178 00:57:07,976 --> 00:57:10,703 and is stunned when one day she appears in his house. 1179 00:57:10,737 --> 00:57:12,532 I missed you in bed last night. 1180 00:57:13,499 --> 00:57:14,914 Did you get some good writing done? 1181 00:57:14,948 --> 00:57:16,122 He falls in love with her. 1182 00:57:16,156 --> 00:57:17,951 And resolves not to write about her again, 1183 00:57:17,986 --> 00:57:20,506 as he wants her to be her own person. 1184 00:57:20,540 --> 00:57:24,510 However, when she begins to seek a life outside their relationship, 1185 00:57:24,544 --> 00:57:25,959 he feels insecure. 1186 00:57:26,546 --> 00:57:28,514 -I'm so lonely. -No. 1187 00:57:28,548 --> 00:57:31,413 Don't say that. Please. 1188 00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:34,934 I think I should start spending some nights at my apartment again. 1189 00:57:39,041 --> 00:57:41,009 He starts writing about her again, 1190 00:57:41,043 --> 00:57:42,976 so he can control her behavior. 1191 00:57:44,322 --> 00:57:47,498 First, he makes her completely obsessed with him. 1192 00:57:47,533 --> 00:57:49,707 and crushes her desire for independence. 1193 00:57:50,777 --> 00:57:53,953 Then he makes her unrelentingly happy. 1194 00:58:04,826 --> 00:58:06,931 Eventually, we are shown how disturbing it is 1195 00:58:06,966 --> 00:58:10,107 to have a female character whose every thought and action 1196 00:58:10,141 --> 00:58:13,386 is driven solely by the male creator. 1197 00:58:13,420 --> 00:58:16,769 If this is how you think about people, 1198 00:58:16,803 --> 00:58:21,774 then you are in for a long, lonely, fucked-up life. 1199 00:58:23,569 --> 00:58:25,018 Do you hear me? 1200 00:58:25,053 --> 00:58:26,019 Calvin. 1201 00:58:52,667 --> 00:58:56,049 Less radical than Kazan's offering isI Love You, Man, 1202 00:58:56,084 --> 00:58:59,708 a film which is a rom-com in every aspect but one. 1203 00:58:59,743 --> 00:59:03,332 Our soulmates are platonic friends instead of lovers. 1204 00:59:03,367 --> 00:59:05,680 Sydney, I'm really sorry for all the stuff that I said. 1205 00:59:05,714 --> 00:59:07,336 Pete, you called me on a lot of my issues. 1206 00:59:08,061 --> 00:59:09,476 I appreciate it. 1207 00:59:09,511 --> 00:59:11,168 I'm really glad you're here, Sydney. 1208 00:59:13,101 --> 00:59:14,136 Me, too. 1209 00:59:14,171 --> 00:59:15,310 I love you, man. 1210 00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:17,864 I love you too, bud. 1211 00:59:19,901 --> 00:59:22,248 -I love you, dude. -I love you, Bro Montana. 1212 00:59:22,282 --> 00:59:23,421 I love you, homes. 1213 00:59:23,456 --> 00:59:24,871 I love you, Broseph Goebbels. 1214 00:59:24,906 --> 00:59:27,529 -I love you, muchacha. -I love you, Tycho Brohe. 1215 00:59:27,564 --> 00:59:28,806 Okay. 1216 00:59:28,841 --> 00:59:31,706 In 2013,The Heat did something similar. 1217 00:59:31,740 --> 00:59:34,709 It's a rom-com dressed up as a buddy movie. 1218 00:59:34,743 --> 00:59:37,366 This time between two female cops. 1219 00:59:37,401 --> 00:59:41,267 The uptight loner Ashburn, played by Sandra Bullock, 1220 00:59:41,301 --> 00:59:44,304 and Melissa McCarthy's loose cannon, Mullins. 1221 00:59:49,965 --> 00:59:51,553 -Ashburn. -Hey, it's me. 1222 00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:52,727 Hey. 1223 00:59:52,761 --> 00:59:54,694 So, uh, did you get that package I sent over? 1224 00:59:54,729 --> 00:59:56,869 Oh, God, I haven't even opened it yet. I'm sorry. 1225 00:59:56,903 --> 00:59:58,456 I signed it. On the front. 1226 00:59:58,491 --> 01:00:00,010 Okay, I see it. That's very funny. 1227 01:00:00,044 --> 01:00:02,046 I know. I'm just kidding. 1228 01:00:02,081 --> 01:00:03,772 Just look at the... Look at the back. 1229 01:00:09,191 --> 01:00:10,227 Well... 1230 01:00:10,745 --> 01:00:12,056 Don't make it weird. 1231 01:00:15,715 --> 01:00:17,303 Later, nerd. 1232 01:00:17,337 --> 01:00:18,925 Takes a nerd to know a nerd. 1233 01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,341 The success of these bromances 1234 01:00:21,376 --> 01:00:22,860 and womances, 1235 01:00:22,895 --> 01:00:24,724 proves that the power of the rom-com 1236 01:00:24,759 --> 01:00:27,278 is strong enough to survive being transplanted 1237 01:00:27,313 --> 01:00:28,694 into buddy movies. 1238 01:00:29,315 --> 01:00:30,627 Yes! 1239 01:00:30,661 --> 01:00:32,594 Other film-makers employ the same structure 1240 01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:35,390 as traditional rom-coms, but disguise it. 1241 01:00:35,424 --> 01:00:38,289 There's a number of reasons they might want to do this. 1242 01:00:38,324 --> 01:00:39,877 Foremost among them, 1243 01:00:39,912 --> 01:00:42,811 the sad fact that marketing a film as a romantic comedy 1244 01:00:42,846 --> 01:00:45,055 is a quick route to critical disdain. 1245 01:00:46,090 --> 01:00:47,954 Perhaps, because so many of the people 1246 01:00:47,989 --> 01:00:51,820 who are reviewing these films are men. 1247 01:00:51,855 --> 01:00:54,858 A film-maker hoping to be awarded accolades and acclaim 1248 01:00:54,892 --> 01:00:57,515 would do better if they presented their romantic comedy 1249 01:00:57,550 --> 01:00:59,241 as something else. 1250 01:00:59,276 --> 01:01:01,899 David O. Russell used some romantic comedy tropes 1251 01:01:01,934 --> 01:01:03,590 inSilver Linings Playbook. 1252 01:01:03,625 --> 01:01:04,799 The screwball dialogue. 1253 01:01:04,833 --> 01:01:07,664 So how's your thing going? The dancing thing? 1254 01:01:07,698 --> 01:01:09,562 It's good. How's your restraining order? 1255 01:01:09,596 --> 01:01:11,322 The declaration of love. 1256 01:01:11,357 --> 01:01:13,048 I love you. 1257 01:01:13,083 --> 01:01:15,016 I knew it the minute I met you. 1258 01:01:16,707 --> 01:01:19,434 I'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up. 1259 01:01:20,124 --> 01:01:21,988 I just got stuck. 1260 01:01:22,023 --> 01:01:23,714 And the happy ending. 1261 01:01:23,749 --> 01:01:26,234 But the film avoided the cloud of critical distain 1262 01:01:26,268 --> 01:01:27,684 that surrounds the genre 1263 01:01:27,718 --> 01:01:29,444 because it's tonally much darker 1264 01:01:29,478 --> 01:01:32,654 than the romantic comedies I grew up watching. 1265 01:01:32,689 --> 01:01:34,311 Instead of being clumsy, 1266 01:01:34,345 --> 01:01:36,313 its characters dealt with real problems 1267 01:01:36,347 --> 01:01:38,211 like suicide and depression. 1268 01:01:40,110 --> 01:01:43,251 Silver Linings Playbook was billed as a comedy drama, 1269 01:01:43,285 --> 01:01:45,115 not a romantic comedy, 1270 01:01:45,149 --> 01:01:47,773 and was Oscar-nominated across the board. 1271 01:01:49,395 --> 01:01:53,399 Other secret rom-coms might be even more critically acclaimed. 1272 01:01:59,232 --> 01:02:03,892 2016'sLa La Land employs all the beats of a romantic comedy. 1273 01:02:03,927 --> 01:02:06,964 But likeThe Break-Up, it skips the happy ending. 1274 01:02:22,428 --> 01:02:25,120 It's important to note that although these films use 1275 01:02:25,155 --> 01:02:27,778 the structure of romantic comedies to great effect, 1276 01:02:27,813 --> 01:02:29,815 eliciting powerful emotions, 1277 01:02:29,849 --> 01:02:35,993 they yet again only show us straight, white, middle-class relationships. 1278 01:02:36,028 --> 01:02:38,927 Earlier, I said that there was a lack of romantic comedies 1279 01:02:38,962 --> 01:02:41,688 with people of color as the leads, 1280 01:02:41,723 --> 01:02:43,380 or mixed-race couples, 1281 01:02:44,553 --> 01:02:46,348 or queer relationships. 1282 01:02:47,833 --> 01:02:50,042 But this isn't strictly true. 1283 01:02:50,076 --> 01:02:52,769 Many examples of those films do exist. 1284 01:02:52,803 --> 01:02:54,563 It's just that as a white, straight woman 1285 01:02:54,598 --> 01:02:58,636 who is heavily catered for by mainstream romantic comedies, 1286 01:02:58,671 --> 01:03:00,293 I never went looking for them. 1287 01:03:00,328 --> 01:03:03,849 And because of that, I missed out on this moment 1288 01:03:03,883 --> 01:03:07,335 from 2001's Kissing Jessica Stein. 1289 01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,166 I didn't see a blond Zack Braff 1290 01:03:11,201 --> 01:03:14,687 and Justin Theroux in the queer rom-com, 1291 01:03:14,721 --> 01:03:16,309 The Broken Hearts Club. 1292 01:03:18,070 --> 01:03:21,798 Or the sweet perfection of 2010'sJust Wright. 1293 01:03:23,454 --> 01:03:26,595 I'd never seen Stella getting her groove back. 1294 01:03:29,322 --> 01:03:32,843 And I'd also never watched Alice Wu'sSaving Face 1295 01:03:32,878 --> 01:03:35,915 about a Chinese-American surgeon 1296 01:03:35,950 --> 01:03:39,816 who falls madly in love with a ballet dancer. 1297 01:03:45,166 --> 01:03:46,961 Despite not being represented 1298 01:03:46,995 --> 01:03:50,067 in terms of race or sexuality by these films, 1299 01:03:50,102 --> 01:03:53,484 I love them just as much as I love While You Were Sleeping, 1300 01:03:53,519 --> 01:03:55,486 orWhen Harry Met Sally. 1301 01:03:55,521 --> 01:04:00,560 Because romantic comedies aren't about race or gender or sexuality, 1302 01:04:00,595 --> 01:04:03,460 they're about human connection. 1303 01:04:03,494 --> 01:04:06,843 I realize now why I'm obsessed with romantic comedies, 1304 01:04:06,877 --> 01:04:08,361 it's so simple. 1305 01:04:08,396 --> 01:04:10,536 They show people falling in love 1306 01:04:10,570 --> 01:04:14,712 and when anyone watches any two people fall in love, 1307 01:04:14,747 --> 01:04:17,163 we see nothing but their humanity. 1308 01:04:19,131 --> 01:04:21,029 My favorite film of recent times 1309 01:04:21,064 --> 01:04:25,206 is 2017's critically-lauded God's Own Country. 1310 01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:28,036 The love story is structurally a romantic comedy, 1311 01:04:28,071 --> 01:04:30,590 but instead of watching a straight middle-class couple 1312 01:04:30,625 --> 01:04:33,490 falling over each other in a New York office, 1313 01:04:33,524 --> 01:04:35,941 we have a struggling Yorkshire farmer 1314 01:04:39,185 --> 01:04:41,981 falling for a Romanian migrant worker. 1315 01:04:43,155 --> 01:04:44,708 They call you Georgie or summat? 1316 01:04:44,742 --> 01:04:46,641 -Gheorghe. -Whatever. Get in. 1317 01:04:48,781 --> 01:04:51,680 It's got all the beats of a Nora Ephron classic. 1318 01:04:52,543 --> 01:04:53,855 Two young people meet 1319 01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:56,271 and find themselves clashing over their differences. 1320 01:04:57,065 --> 01:04:58,204 I'm from Romania. 1321 01:04:59,171 --> 01:05:00,482 Gypsy. 1322 01:05:00,517 --> 01:05:01,690 Please don't call me that. 1323 01:05:03,382 --> 01:05:06,247 However, they're forced to share experiences 1324 01:05:06,281 --> 01:05:08,249 and in doing so, they're drawn together. 1325 01:05:08,283 --> 01:05:09,595 Fuck. 1326 01:05:15,256 --> 01:05:18,224 If you leave it, it will get infected with disease. 1327 01:05:27,544 --> 01:05:30,547 Eventually, they realized they complete each other. 1328 01:05:31,789 --> 01:05:33,239 I was thinking. 1329 01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:35,655 I can stay a little longer. 1330 01:05:48,082 --> 01:05:50,325 After circumstances force them apart, 1331 01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:53,984 there's no option but to make an anguished declaration of love. 1332 01:05:58,713 --> 01:06:00,577 I'm trying to do this. 1333 01:06:00,611 --> 01:06:01,992 Don't you see, I'm... 1334 01:06:02,648 --> 01:06:04,063 I'm trying to sort it out. 1335 01:06:05,789 --> 01:06:07,584 And I've come all this way up here, 1336 01:06:08,792 --> 01:06:10,380 on a coach and everything. 1337 01:06:12,037 --> 01:06:13,624 And I want you to come back... 1338 01:06:15,419 --> 01:06:16,455 With me. 1339 01:06:17,835 --> 01:06:19,354 And I want us to be together. 1340 01:06:24,981 --> 01:06:27,121 I don't want to be a fuck-up anymore. 1341 01:06:28,570 --> 01:06:30,331 No, leave me. I'm fine. 1342 01:06:34,542 --> 01:06:36,095 I want to be with you, 1343 01:06:38,132 --> 01:06:39,754 and that's what I needed to say. 1344 01:06:42,343 --> 01:06:45,449 And the rom-com closes in the traditional way 1345 01:06:45,484 --> 01:06:48,280 giving the audience the ultimate satisfying ending, 1346 01:06:48,970 --> 01:06:51,041 a kiss between the two lovers. 1347 01:07:10,336 --> 01:07:13,201 God's Own country isn't considered a romantic comedy, 1348 01:07:13,236 --> 01:07:16,308 which, while understandable, is perhaps a shame 1349 01:07:16,342 --> 01:07:20,760 because it left me with all of the uplifting feelings of elation and romance 1350 01:07:20,795 --> 01:07:23,660 that I get from re-watching Sleepless in Seattle 1351 01:07:23,694 --> 01:07:26,421 for the 35th time. 1352 01:07:26,456 --> 01:07:29,804 Another film I loved from the same year asGod's Own Country 1353 01:07:29,838 --> 01:07:31,461 isThe Big Sick, 1354 01:07:31,495 --> 01:07:33,566 which is based on a real-life relationship 1355 01:07:33,601 --> 01:07:37,467 between writers Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani. 1356 01:07:37,501 --> 01:07:39,365 What were you like in high school? 1357 01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:41,816 They called me chashmullee. 1358 01:07:41,850 --> 01:07:43,473 What is that? 1359 01:07:43,507 --> 01:07:45,992 It roughly translates to "dweeb." 1360 01:07:46,027 --> 01:07:48,305 I'll show you a picture. 1361 01:07:48,340 --> 01:07:50,514 Of you in high school? Oh, my God. 1362 01:07:50,549 --> 01:07:52,551 -Boom. -No. 1363 01:07:52,585 --> 01:07:54,829 And I'm thinking, "I'm killing it right now." 1364 01:07:54,863 --> 01:07:56,624 What inspired this haircut? 1365 01:07:56,658 --> 01:07:57,590 Hugh Grant. 1366 01:07:57,625 --> 01:07:58,798 -No. -Yeah. 1367 01:07:58,833 --> 01:08:00,731 The film was critically acclaimed, 1368 01:08:00,766 --> 01:08:02,147 Oscar-nominated, 1369 01:08:02,181 --> 01:08:04,701 and most importantly, a romantic comedy 1370 01:08:04,735 --> 01:08:07,704 that sticked to the traditional formula. 1371 01:08:07,738 --> 01:08:10,051 But unlike the films that I grew up watching, 1372 01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:12,950 its characters are complex and fleshed out. 1373 01:08:12,985 --> 01:08:14,504 I was going to tell you about that. 1374 01:08:14,538 --> 01:08:17,610 These are women in Pakistan who wanna marry you? 1375 01:08:17,645 --> 01:08:19,612 They're not in Pakistan. 1376 01:08:19,647 --> 01:08:20,717 You've met these women? 1377 01:08:20,751 --> 01:08:23,547 Just with my parents and stuff, we haven't like... 1378 01:08:23,582 --> 01:08:26,067 But you're not serious about this, are you? 1379 01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:28,690 It's my mom's thing, I just go along with it. 1380 01:08:30,175 --> 01:08:32,591 So what does your mom think about you and me then? 1381 01:08:36,077 --> 01:08:37,837 She doesn't know about me, does she? 1382 01:08:38,114 --> 01:08:39,356 No. 1383 01:08:39,391 --> 01:08:41,255 They're not from high-income backgrounds. 1384 01:08:41,289 --> 01:08:43,602 So are you ever gonna let me sit in the front seat? 1385 01:08:43,636 --> 01:08:46,605 No, I'm a professional, and you're paying for this ride. 1386 01:08:46,639 --> 01:08:49,504 I don't wanna pay for this ride, it's surging right now. 1387 01:08:51,403 --> 01:08:53,888 And they deal with real problems. 1388 01:08:56,546 --> 01:08:59,169 In the future, I hope film-makers will continue 1389 01:08:59,204 --> 01:09:00,998 to use the power of rom-coms 1390 01:09:01,033 --> 01:09:02,897 to put different types of relationships 1391 01:09:02,931 --> 01:09:05,071 in front of the camera. 1392 01:09:05,106 --> 01:09:06,487 I hope studios will realize 1393 01:09:06,521 --> 01:09:08,385 that there's a hunger for these films. 1394 01:09:08,420 --> 01:09:11,285 And that they'll reach a mainstream Hollywood audience. 1395 01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:13,735 Because love doesn't only happen 1396 01:09:13,770 --> 01:09:17,567 to white, straight, middle-class people. 1397 01:09:17,601 --> 01:09:20,225 And it doesn't have to end with a wedding. 1398 01:09:21,502 --> 01:09:23,918 And it doesn't always last forever. 1399 01:09:23,952 --> 01:09:25,437 Are you breaking up with me? 1400 01:09:26,576 --> 01:09:30,200 But it is wonderful to watch. 1401 01:09:35,619 --> 01:09:38,622 Any fireworks 1402 01:09:41,660 --> 01:09:46,285 At first sight 1403 01:10:01,783 --> 01:10:06,443 Waiting for me 1404 01:10:07,686 --> 01:10:11,310 It wouldn't bother 1405 01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:30,536 All the time 1406 01:10:33,505 --> 01:10:38,786 This would work 1407 01:10:38,820 --> 01:10:42,790 Walked away now 1408 01:10:47,381 --> 01:10:49,935 We'll be next year 1409 01:10:52,765 --> 01:10:58,564 To make plans 1410 01:10:58,599 --> 01:11:02,327 Yeah, I'm honest 1411 01:11:28,870 --> 01:11:33,219 When I wake up 1412 01:14:53,143 --> 01:14:58,770 The love of my life 1413 01:15:06,950 --> 01:15:12,887 The love of my life 1414 01:15:55,965 --> 01:15:59,934 The love of my life 1415 01:15:59,969 --> 01:16:03,317 The love of my life 1416 01:16:10,013 --> 01:16:15,363 The love of my life 1417 01:16:30,931 --> 01:16:34,072 I'd only get one shot 1418 01:16:34,106 --> 01:16:37,765 Had one plot 1419 01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:41,286 To treasure what you've got 1420 01:16:44,876 --> 01:16:48,224 And it was never enough 1421 01:16:48,258 --> 01:16:51,676 And then then it stops 1422 01:16:51,710 --> 01:16:55,265 In a little box 1423 01:17:13,076 --> 01:17:18,737 The love of my life 1424 01:17:20,049 --> 01:17:25,192 The love of my life 1425 01:17:27,021 --> 01:17:32,302 The love of my life 1426 01:17:34,097 --> 01:17:39,689 The love of my life