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My entire life,
I've related my existence to material things.
Not because I value them
or that I value myself for that matter,
but that's just how I'm wired.
You know, I always wanted a car from the year I was born.
Felt like it linked me to an unalterable past
as I pushed forward ceaselessly
to an unavoidably indeterminate future.
That car, 1985 Buick Regal Sedan.
But Bella died, that's what I named her.
So, I introduce you to Bronson,
2005 Pontiac Grand Prix,
named after the criminal, not the actor.
No, no, no, no,
it's not being materialistic.
You see, I see signs where there aren't any,
like the drawings I did as a child, for example.
In them, I see premonitions, that's why I make them.
It helps me express myself.
But more importantly, it helps me,
it helps me understand myself.
Every time I get behind the wheel,
I don't know if it'll be end of the line for Bronson,
if I'll even get away.
I just leave it to the Law of Odds now,
'cause eventually all things,
they must fail.
This engine, it's a kin to my heartbeat.
Okay, where's he weave from?
This is Moe, this is Moe.
We were current, we have no idea where he's going.
His arm was stuck in the door,
and I'm afraid they broke into our room.
They're doing CPR on him
and you've got to talk to me,
you have got to talk to me.
It's fascinating,
because morals, they evolve, it's an evolution.
The whole idea of a code of ethics, it's a living document,
one that's created by men and ordained by some deity.
But it's a breathing set of guidelines and it changes.
Always has changed, always will.
And these breathing set of guidelines are subjective,
and the cause of all of human history's wars.
One group doesn't approve of another group, and then boom!
And you can analyze this on micro or macro levels,
it's always the same, disagreement ensues.
So by nature of that law, by that credo,
I'm a law breaker.
In the eyes of God or most people's gods, I'm a sinner.
You see, when I look in the mirror,
or as you, you look at me right here right now,
as this camera captures me through it's lens,
what does it see?
It sees a man.
I'm merely a man, I'm man.
Considering, it was forbidden and frowned upon 50 years ago.
Women's rights,
gay rights, racial inequality,
what did people have to say then?
Or how about thousands of years of civility
with one religion trying to eradicate another
in the name of their god?
I'm not comparing myself to any of that,
I'm flat out stating that these moral evaluations,
they change year to year, day to day.
These are all examples that these interpretations,
they change.
So as a result, I am you and you are me,
historically speaking.
I'm a product, I'm a result, I'm change.
I'm intrigued by that word, change.
Because people throw it around,
but not all change is good, is it?
Is there a sense of danger
because of the way that...
Well danger, danger is just the anticipation of fear.
You see, fear is a product of the mind,
it's a discipline,
a self-survival technique.
People, they fear me, I know that.
I see it in their eyes, I see it in their faces.
As a result, I am the danger and they are the fear.
Like evil, on the other hand,
it comes in many forms.
It paints with many different brushes.
Mine happens to be a shattered glass
or a knife the size of your forearm.
And I have a tendency to paint in broad strokes.
That's fairly straightforward.
We can do anywhere between two to five jobs a month,
depending on the job.
Other than that, it's the same rigamarole,
day in and day out, it just varies locations, of course.
You've worked with this company
- for six years? - 10,
it'll be 10 in September.
In this shape, you can't.
It's a lot of physicality, isn't it?
You must get pretty shot doing this everyday.
You get accustomed to it.
Look, I didn't want a job that I have to take home with me.
Stress and sweating it out on my own time, no thanks.
Here, I work five days a week, 40 hours a week.
I get paid for what I'm doing,
and then the rest of the time is mine.
I think people only give up too much
of their lives towards something
that's really only designed to sustain.
What if they like what they do professionally?
I've conceived that.
But it's rare.
It's like digging for a grave and finding treasure,
it's not happening.
Well, when we began principle photography
in November of the prior year,
and so, this was about six months after
I plucked Ellis out of N.Y.U. Cinematography Program.
It was under the guise of,
and with the explicit understanding
that Noel had served nine years of a 16-year term
at Sing Sing Federal Penitentiary
for a lust-related double murder,
the crime of passion stuff.
Because of good behavior
and increasingly positive psychological evaluations,
he was released in 2015.
After a month of pre-production and two weeks of filming,
Ellis embarked on shamefully-belated research,
and his procrastinated due diligence revealed
that Noel had never been at Sing Sing
or any prison.
He'd never been caught,
and there was no crime of passion.
This was a string of murders.
He was a rouse.
So, we aired it out with Noel,
who felt just dreadful
for the misinformation.
And Ellis and I were left with a substantial moral,
ethical and a legal conundrum.
We made our choice.
So, it's fairly simple stuff, you see.
Yes, no, I get it now.
We want to use these whenever you want.
Any more batteries, need more micro SD cards,
anything, don't hesitate and we'll take care of it.
And when the card is full,
- do I drop them off with you? - Yeah, yeah,
that's fine, that's totally fine.
And you have five backup mini cards right here
in case you need them.
Just be careful not to shoot over anything.
Once one card is full,
just pop it out and put in a clean one.
And these ones in the car,
- they the same as before? - Yep.
Just turn them on when you want to,
and off when you don't need them.
Oh, and obviously, leave the backup hard drive safe
at your apartment.
That's a just-in-case maneuver,
we're mildly neurotic.
And we'll update that every few days,
so you will be the proud owner
of every single item we shoot for this film.
You guys really want the full Noel experience, huh?
We do.
We also have this mount for you.
The body mount, in that you can detach the camera to it,
and then you won't have to use your hands.
This sort of takes me back a little.
Takes you back?
Yeah, except when I was a young man
and things became difficult at home,
I immersed myself into cinema,
the films of the 40s and 50s in particular.
I really loved their way of life,
their manner of speech, everything really.
As a by-product, I became interested in editing.
Depending on how you edit a narrative,
you really can manipulate different points of views.
But, I never really got to try my hand at it,
- so. - Really, how interesting.
We had no idea.
I recently bought a MacBook
for the purpose of playing with the iMovie application.
But it's more fun this way to get the hands-on experience.
So, any musings, any thoughts, anything you can think of,
we just don't want to miss anything
when we're not around.
This now is a part of it then?
Anything can be.
Well, it depends later on in the acting process.
Right, editing.
Please pay heavy focus when you get...
Oh, the unscratchable itch.
Is that right?
Is that what you call it?
Yes, I think it helps clarify something
that's difficult to describe.
Noel, may I ask
how many people know about your activities?
Just you two gentlemen.
Well, what makes you trust us?
I mean, that's if you do, of course.
Trust you as far as I need to.
So far, anyway.
Which may or may not be a good thing.
Meaning perhaps,
part of you wants to be caught,
or at least not have such a heavy burden
of secret on your shoulders.
The difficulty in discussing the trusting of others
is one first has to trust themselves.
You wouldn't say you trust yourself?
Would you?
No, I don't mind you asking.
I've been single for a few years now.
When was your last significant relationship?
There was only one.
Mikayla, we were together for about three years.
What happened?
I've been asking myself
that same question for seven years now.
We drifted apart is what really happened.
Chalk it up to two people
whose lives were drastically heading
into different direction.
I had just started my job that I currently have.
I was happy.
But she had grander plans, she wanted to pursue them.
- Did things end amiably? - Sure.
They were more somber,
melancholic as opposed to anything resentful.
I loved her more than anything in the entire world.
From the first day that we stared dating,
I knew I would marry her,
and then I didn't get to.
She was my best friend, she was my soulmate.
When things ended, it was wholly devastating,
it was catastrophic.
But not once did I ever get angry at her.
And I keep her here, always.
Have you dated anyone since?
No, there's no point.
What role did your proclivities
- play in your relationship? - None.
How is that possible?
She was unaware.
I made sure that it remained that way.
But how did it affect you
in so much as your relationship, I mean?
I'm so sorry guys,
but the battery's about to run out.
Just keep it going, Ellis.
Sorry Noel, please care on.
It didn't.
To be able to do what I do,
to be able to remain at large for as long I have,
one has to be intensely good at compartmentalizing.
You have to be able to switch
from one facet of your life to another,
treat them as separate lives.
You have to make that distinction in your mind.
This serves the primary purpose of not losing your mind,
and the secondary purpose of not getting caught.
Good, there, I've been itching to ask that of you.
You said that you killed your first victim in 2002
when you were only 17.
How have you remained at large?
Compartmentalization,
and the nature of random selection.
Have you ever killed somebody you knew?
No, no that's now how I work,
it's not how I'm wired.
That's not part of the outlet for me.
Besides, that would lead to apprehension
which would imply motive.
You mean being caught,
- obviously. - Yes, exactly.
Can you elaborate
on the idea of compartmentalization
and random selection, as you put it?
Well, the first is easy.
Like I said, it's about not losing your mind
- and not getting caught. - Oh, sorry, guys,
Not to cut you off,
but as a journalist and a storyteller,
I must ask this question.
You don't consider yourself insane?
No.
Psychopaths are not cognizant enough
to know that they are psychopaths.
But I am fully self-aware to know
that I am not a psychopath.
A sociopath then.
Yes, of course.
It is impulse.
It's amazing to me
how well you seem to know yourself,
and how comfortable you are with it.
It's interesting, isn't it?
The foggy area between who you are
and who you perceive yourself to be, introspectively.
See, if you were to look into a mirror right now,
you wouldn't see yourself.
You would see an abstraction,
an informed reflection.
Perhaps an alienated one, but certainly an altered one.
Do you think you know yourself?
Yeah, I'd like to think so.
That changes.
- Possibly. - Definitely.
Please continue.
If you can successfully compartmentalize your life,
then nothing leaks.
'Cause I would come home,
and Mikayla, she wouldn't see anything.
She wouldn't see it on my face, she couldn't smell anything.
I wouldn't be shaky or concerned.
Everything that I had done would be locked tightly
in a secret box of history,
and I could keep my past there when I wanted to.
What stops you when your impulse takes over
from killing a loved one, let's say?
Because I love them.
I'm not an insane man.
You have to understand there was no love
in my house after Ethan died.
So love is very important to me.
I wouldn't kill someone I loved
for the most obvious of reasons.
What do you think Mikayla would have said
if she ever found out?
I don't know.
I take solace in not knowing.
We used to sing this song together.
♪ You say jump ♪
♪ I say how high ♪
- Do you know it? - Yeah.
But we use to change the words, though.
We used to say.
♪ You say jump ♪
♪ I say what roof ♪
She used to always laugh at that.
Random...
And what about you?
I'm failed potentially.
Well, we certainly didn't rush into the decision
to go on this journey to make this film,
but we're tired of waiting for validation
from an uncaring and a very difficult industry.
I think you made the right choice, it's a bold move.
Thank you.
I think this is a deli here.
I'm gonna go grab something to drink,
- my throat's parched. - Salty chips?
Salty chips to you, too.
Gentlemen, would you guys like anything?
- No, no thank you. - Nah, I'm good,
- thank you. - You sure?
- Mm-hm. - Thanks.
Alright, I'll be back in just a moment.
We got to get an agent.
Maybe this will get us one?
Yeah, maybe.
I know, I know we do.
But as you well know, it's not like applying
- for a credit card. - Right.
By the way, how's Lana taking
- everything? - Impatient.
Impatiently, she's getting fed up.
I get it.
Well, maybe if you take a different approach,
that might be able to.
Oh fuck, fuck!
- Oh, oh no. - Oh shit.
- Shit. - Wait, what are you doing?
We can't leave him here.
- We're not gonna be, - He's gonna get caught!
We can't stay here.
We're not gonna be an accessory to murder!
Oh fuck, fuck,
- I don't know. - Go, go, go.
I don't know, no!
- The dock! - Oh fuck!
Oh fuck, go, go, go!
I just wanted a Gatorade.
- Ready? - Yeah, I'm rolling.
So, this just came in a few minutes ago.
2:37 a.m.
This is a voicemail from Noel.
Hello, Errol.
You saw that, I was awkward.
Look, I understand that wasn't part of the deal, really.
And I didn't mean to implicate
or involve you guys in any way,
and I hope you're not sore.
Compulsion and the itch
are very real and uncontrollable.
Maybe it's good you got a first-hand look for yourselves.
No hard feelings, I hope.
And, alright.
Loretta does not dislike, she likes you just fine.
Honey, she's about as fond of me
as she is of a wasp sting.
No, not true,
she's just skeptical of you, that's all.
Skeptical?
Weary, I meant to say,
- "Weary." - Yeah maybe,
but you didn't.
Skeptical.
Weary.
How is weary any better?
Aren't we supposed to be celebrating Brian's birthday?
Shut your trap, Ellis.
You said you wanted to be here,
and we're all be thrilled that you recorded this
when we see this little guy's face light up
when he sees the cracklers.
What time are you guys filming tomorrow?
Um...
Are you filming tomorrow?
At some point, I think.
Well, are you still meeting me for lunch?
Because I have a showing
that I have to be at in Port Chester around 1:15.
Yeah, yeah that's fine.
- I can do that. - Yeah?
Hello, Errol.
- Hello. - Noel.
This is my wife, Lana.
- Nice to meet you. - And my son, Brian,
you want to come meet Brian?
- I was hoping... - Come here, come here.
Brian, come here.
Do you want to meet my friend, Noel?
Come here, big guy.
This is Noel, and this Brian.
Want to go say, "Hi," to mommy?
Go get mommy, okay?
Join us, come here.
Errol, may I speak
to you for just a moment, please?
Listen, frankly, I'm a bit embarrassed
about what occurred last night.
Noel, don't be, please.
I appreciate that.
I want to make sure you know
that I respect the project immensely,
and I wouldn't want to do anything to put you gentlemen
in any sort of compromising...
We are absolutely aware of that,
and we thank you for it, really.
Okay, thank you.
Want to come?
Sure.
I'm not freaking out, I am not, okay?
I am merely concerned,
- and rightfully so. - I agree
that you are right to be surprised.
Oh, thank you.
Babe, I'm not fighting with you on that,
but you have nothing to be concerned about, okay?
So can we please have this dialog
- when we get home privately? - No, Errol,
let's not, because I don't want a drug-addled man
around our child, okay?
So we're gonna talk about it right now.
What in the hell are you talking about?
He's an ex-drug addict,
he's in recovery and he's clean right now, alright?
Like always.
I don't even know why this is an argument.
Like, it blows my mind.
It blows my mind
that this scenario right now is okay with you.
What, are you joking with me?
First of all, how did he even know where we were?
Because I told him.
- You told him. - Yes, Lana,
as in conversation.
I mean, I didn't invite him.
Look, do you just wanna take him
- and go? - No, we came
- all the way down here. - It's like
- 15 minutes by car. - I don't want this day ruined
for our son, okay?
Okay.
What happened?
Nothing, she's just pissed.
Why, not buying the drug addict?
No, she just doesn't want him around Brian.
She totally buys it, that's the problem.
She's just nervous.
Let's go have some fun, huh?
I got a phone call today from Mikayla.
I haven't seen her for at least a couple of years.
I ran into her in town and,
she has a child.
She had my daughter.
I had a little girl.
I don't know why she told me now if she didn't then.
Her name is Gabriella.
That was always what I wanted to name a baby girl
if we ever had kids.
She told me she found out she was carrying
after we broke up,
and I really,
I really don't know.
She just never did.
I guess she didn't have it in her.
Alright,
up early, I'll see you boys Thursday.
Be careful.
Be careful, I'm unfit.
I'm unsound.
Noel, Noel what is it, what happened?
You can't expect
to stand on the shoulders of the devil
and walk away and escape.
I'm unfit.
- I'm unsound. - What do you mean?
Look, it's okay.
And willing participate in this life for now.
It's become something else entirely.
I'm unsolved, Errol, I'm unfit.
Do you want to see someone?
Speak with somebody, Noel.
I got to go.
Noel, Noel.
If you ever want to take a good look at yourself,
don't stop in the mirror.
Take my word for it.
I'm gonna need a break, boys, I can't keep going.
Yeah sure, we can resume after lunch,
- it's okay. - Live longer than that!
We don't want to wait too long, Noel, Noel.
Fuck!
So relentless, what.
I mean, we got to get him out.
First and foremost,
we have no legally binding agreement with him.
So we have,
we got us virtually nothing
we can do, well, if we wait,
- then... - Obviously,
we don't have a legally binding contract with him, Ellis.
Don't get snippy, man.
All I'm saying is that without,
it'd be in this sort of corner.
It largely becomes about the journey,
and the adventure for where is this gonna end.
Alright.
If we wait it out, and we obviously have to,
or if we decided to,
it does help change the narrative.
So you're saying that this is a good thing
that this happened?
No, not at all, it's a silver lining.
Many of them, actually.
Let me put it this way,
as filmmakers, we are always trying
to shape up the narrative, right?
I mean, that's what we do,
- that's our job. - Yep.
But it's about letting the narrative shape us.
And most crucially, Noel.
It's one hell of a twist with Gabriella.
Oh absolutely, absolutely.
I mean, maybe he just needs some space?
Maybe we do too, I don't know.
I don't know, but let's roll with it.
How come we never talked about it?
About what?
The other night.
The deli.
I don't know.
Because I guess it was...
I mean, it...
Why do we have to talk about it?
It was this horrible and bizarre thing that happened.
And we're still here.
With documentaries.
It's just part of life,
it can be a horror show.
I know,
but we're both individually
and collectively ignore the fact
that there's not coming to terms with it yet.
Do you feel guilty?
Guilty, why?
Okay, so, Noel has an outburst, right?
And he cannot control himself for a few seconds.
Isn't that stain that's just gonna get
with someone like him?
It was different, wasn't it?
Which specifically permit me to point out that
we don't even know who Noel is yet, right?
I mean, you say somebody like him,
but who is he?
I mean, our whole initial relationship
is built on a lie.
Total fabrication.
Part of this process and the fundamentals of this story
is finding out who he is,
what that person is capable of.
We don't know when he's lying,
and we don't know when he's telling
- the truth. - Yeah, but you just said,
that there's no coming to terms to it.
Not yet, so what are you referring to?
A threat?
I don't know.
Yeah, sure, we're a threat.
It's the oddity of it, though.
Sort of spectacle of it all.
Do you feel guilty?
Yeah, of course,
because who knows where that could have led.
We discussed the eventuality of that
and the potential liability, but when you're there?
It's like war.
You hear about,
or read about it in history books,
and movies and lessons.
But when you're in it,
you know?
You know maybe,
maybe we're doing a war film.
Look, Tape Mays was going to be sheltered.
Now so far, so far,
has to show a murder on film, right?
What happens, man?
It was supposed to be a concert film,
and it turned into chaos.
That's just part of the process,
that's just part of,
it's part of existing.
But they weren't implicit in it.
For argument sake.
Yeah, I mean, but,
imagine if someone had that kind of insight on Manson.
Or, what it is, Gacy,
or Dahmer or Bundy, any of them?
Or even worse, or people not that bad?
Can you even fathom the psychological contributions
to the cultural impact it would of had?
It's quite possible that this is a war film
in it's own way.
Yeah, maybe that's how it plays out?
Or maybe that's the new approach?
Maybe that's what it was from the beginning,
just war in all it's forms?
It feels like it sometimes.
How many times do I have to tell you to lock the door?
How do you know it wasn't locked?
Because you didn't unlock it, idiot.
Oh, well that's fair.
We have footage!
Nicely done, guys, nicely done.
One, two, three.
Oh my God, oh my God!
Oh my God, I'm like,
- Noel! - Stifle your squealing,
- sugar tits! - Oh my God,
- Oh my God! - Okay, okay,
I know, it was a bit much.
But look see, look see, look see, look see,
look, look, look, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh.
Hush, hush,
♪ Hush little baby don't say a word ♪
♪ Papa's gonna buy you ♪
Oh my God!
Oh, I came back!
What you got?
Don't eat that, don't eat that.
Certainly don't eat that!
No, God!
911, what happened?
Oh, oh, please send help, please!
The police are on their way, you asshole!
Hey there, buddy.
I got to go.
You take care of yourself, chap, alright?
Good seeing you!
- Ah. - Ah, there they are,
my handsome gents.
How are things, Noel?
Aces, gentlemen, aces, feeling much better.
So glad to hear it.
I've been working on myself quite a bit.
I'm not sure if coming to terms
is really the right phrase,
but I've certainly been negotiating
some of the bigger baggage better
in light of the recent events and revelations
- as you know, of course. - Well, that's really superb.
And thank you, by the way.
I appreciate your patience, it doesn't go unnoticed.
I just want you to know that.
- Of course. - Yeah man, no sweat.
So, some big news.
Tomorrow, I'll be seeing Mikayla
and meeting Gabriella for the very first time.
Ow, how do you feel?
Are you excited?
Words pay it no service, gentlemen.
My heart, it's, it feels like
it's growing a new one.
If that makes any sense,
and I'm excited
and nervous and anxious, but grateful,
and usually all at once.
And where are you guys meeting?
Norris, it's a diner in town.
It's suppose to be a beautiful day tomorrow,
and there's a patio there.
I'll be leaving work a little early,
and Mikayla, she still works in the evenings.
Who watches Gabriella when she's at work?
Mikayla has a regular babysitter.
Supposedly very pleasant,
and Gabriella absolutely adores her.
And she's got a boyfriend, right?
How should I know if the babysitter has a boyfriend?
Yes, Mikayla's been seeing someone for a while now.
He recently moved west for work,
and so, they've been dong the long distance arrangement.
When are you meeting them?
Noon.
You know what my next question is.
I do, and the answer has to be no, Errol.
Really, why?
Because it's too personal.
But that's what makes it all the more important.
For you, not for me.
- For us. - Okay?
For all us.
Listen, I wouldn't put it to you
any other way but the right way and the honest way,
and I'm telling you that this is an imperative
and essential moment for you, for your story.
Our film, this movie, it's your story.
I don't want to be a jerk or press you too hard on this,
but I really must be insistent.
Well, is there a happy medium of sorts that...
Well yeah, there usually is.
What you'd have in mind?
Well, I don't want a camera in my daughter's face,
I don't want her subjected to that,
- do you understand? - Yep.
What if you were to film from a distance?
That way, you could capture the moments,
but less intrusively.
Yeah, can we lav you?
What does that mean?
Can we put a mic on you?
Sure, yes, but from a distance,
- deal? - Deal.
Alright, I'll come to your home
let's say little before noon,
and we can talk more about it then.
Sounds great.
Alright, gentlemen, you have a good day.
- Bye. - Okay, see you, Noel.
How you feeling there, Muscles?
In mint condition, wicked delish.
Really, though,
you feeling okay?
I'm in shambles.
How can I help?
You really can't.
I'm excited, really I am,
but it's that terrified excitement
that you can't shake out of your stomach.
I don't usually get queasy often.
I know.
You're gonna do great.
Thank you, Errol.
Hey, Ellis?
- Yeah? - Is the car packed?
Oh wait, are you miked?
Yes, yes, Ellis already took care of it.
Yep, the car's ready, too.
Great.
You okay?
Yes.
Every time I get behind the wheel,
I don't know if he's gonna start,
that it's the end of the line for good old Bronson.
Bronson, is he?
So the Pontiac has a name.
Named after the criminal, not the actor.
The criminal is named after the actor.
Yes, but still two very,
very different men.
Understood.
Last check, ready?
I will be.
Why don't you gentlemen go first
and I'll trail closely behind?
Alright.
I'm not a bad man.
I'm not a bad man, I'm not a bad man.
I'm not a bad...
Sorry.
I'm not a bad man.
Hi.
Hey.
Hi, Noel.
It's cold out, huh?
How are you?
I'm well.
I'm well, it's good to see you.
Honey, Gabby baby?
Do you know who this is?
This is your daddy.
Remember all those pictures you saw?
This is him.
Hi, Gabriella.
Can you say, "Hello?"
Hello.
Hi.
It's really lovely to meet you.
Do you want to see my pictures?
Yes, I'd love to see your pictures.
All she does is draw.
She brings them everywhere.
She just skipped coloring books.
Just draws her own and colors it.
That's amazing.
- These are beautiful. - Look at this one.
This one, this is Mrs. Gallagher, my teacher,
and that's Sam.
We have a dog, Sam.
Would you draw something for me someday?
You got her going now.
She'll draw you 50 things by lunch.
Are you hungry, Gabriella?
What do you say we get something to chow down on?
- Okay. - Okay?
Get that for ya.
Well, it's not that I don't understand
how and why they became popular.
I'm just saying that serendipity had a lot to do with it.
Serendipity or luck?
Well, what do you think the difference is?
I don't know actually.
Take Hanson's MMMBop for example.
I posit that if they're chords
was actually comprised of words
as opposed to whimsical, prepubescent rambling
that it never would of made it then.
Nobody would of heard it
because that was a part of his charm.
If that's what you'd call it.
Yeah, I remember the first time I heard it,
I thought to myself,
"What the fuck are they going on about?
"Am I mid-stroke or are they putting me on?
- "I mean, what's the story?" - I was super high once,
and I listened to Justin Timberlake's Let's Take A Ride,
like 75 times in a row, man.
I convinced myself I was about clivered
to dog finding the Korean War.
You know, come to think of it, Noel,
I've never seen you do anything.
Do you ever smoke the occasional joint,
- or drink anything? - No, only cigarettes.
You're a Catholic boy, you should know where I stand.
I am, I have the yardstick marks to prove my 12 years
- of Catholic schooling. - Oh really?
Oh, kidding about the beatings,
but we had that stereotypical priest.
He used to shout out quotes about the devil.
Put the fear of God in ya.
Do you remember any of them?
The quotes, yeah, but I only use them
when I think I'm in trouble.
This your hat?
I never seen you wear it before.
- Oh. - It is yours, I presume?
Yes, I didn't know it was in here.
It's from a long time ago.
Really though, good for you.
It's not easy resisting those types of things.
For a lot of people, anyway.
Well, I mean, it's always been easy,
I just don't like to lose control of my emotions.
Imitate the actions of the tiger.
You piece of shit.
I just wanted to come say, "Hi,"
but you started running, so I decided to run with you.
Piece of shit.
How are you?
Gentlemen, this is my friend, Monica.
We use to do repertory theater back in Tarrytown.
You piece of shit.
Are you still over there?
- Yeah. - What are you guys
working on right now?
Now we doing Shakespeare, lots of stuff,
- you should come. - Oh my God,
I should come visit and see your shows, shouldn't I?
It was this moment
that I realized I would never understand Noel.
Much akin to the struggle of pinpointing
the precise moment a relationship took a sour turn,
or perhaps traversing through the anils of a fading memory
in a desperate hope to recapture a glory that once was.
There's an evasive disconnect between emotion
and a true understanding.
From the beginning, there was always a real yearning
to learn what made Noel tick.
And like an ancient clock,
that ticking would somehow always be there.
But the specifics and the overall reasoning
would forever be lost in a rough sea
of prevailing uncertainty
and moral dilemma.
He was a man who knew no bounds.
He had lived sternly within them.
An anomaly of humanity,
of time and place
of good and evil.
He simply was.
♪ Oh I can see your face ♪
♪ It's not my place ♪
♪ Place nor time ♪
♪ Nor time and space ♪
♪ To celebrate ♪
♪ Who I embrace ♪
♪ Ooh-Ooh-Ooh-Ooh-Ooh ♪
Want to talk about what's on your mind?
I don't think so.
Okay.
That's okay.
It's not good enough, you know.
What isn't?
Any of it.
When I was a young boy,
my brother, Ethan and I, would invent these scenarios.
And someday later in life,
we would of just gone to some paradise.
In all our versions, we would meet there.
In hindsight, I don't know why
we wouldn't just go together.
Maybe we imagined we'd have our own lives,
our own families,
and we would flee them to go to paradise.
Where was paradise?
It would always change.
Sometimes, it was the northeastern part
of the United States or Europe.
We'd always pick these iconic meeting points.
Eiffel Tower, Big Ben.
A villa on the mountain side of Italy.
It's funny what paradise is
to a young boy who lived so far from it.
I've heard you mention your brother's name before,
but never anymore than that.
My brother, Ethan, drowned at a town pool
at the age of 10.
I was nine.
The pool was packed that day.
We were doing cannonballs,
splashing everyone around us.
Getting dirty looks from couples nearby
and looks of glee from the children,
who eventually joined in
if their parents let them.
Ethan must of slipped and hit his head on that last one.
Did a great many splashes in scores of people.
And after a while, we were all there and he wasn't.
I looked for him at one point,
but I didn't see him,
but I didn't think anything wrong of it.
Seems like the more people who were there to save you,
the less attention is paid to danger.
It was too blissful of a day for accidents.
It was too obvious, it was just too out in the open.
I'm so sorry, Noel.
Needless to say, the home I grew up in ceased to exist.
It became much darker place.
I want therapy,
or whatever it is that I need.
I want to change as a man,
I just don't know how to approach it.
I need to talk to someone.
I want to be a father to Gabriella.
But I can't turn myself into the authorities
or an institution,
and there's the irony in it.
I have to if I want to be a father to her,
and I can't if I want to be a father to her.
I don't want to set out on a journey of truth
and recovery with the biggest lie of all.
There's got to be a way.
Sometimes, I feel that maybe I'm just too far gone.
But subconsciously, I just wanna get caught.
But deep down, I know I good and I don't.
There must be some middle ground
where you can seek treatment without confessing,
divulging everything.
Maybe.
One thing I do know for sure is that I need a change,
I need to change.
And if I'm to progress in that,
then this will have to go on hiatus again.
Anything can be arranged.
Thank you.
I want to go home.
Get a life, bro!
This was a place for peace and family!
Not a come for prepared,
but if you would know what that means,
you filthy, brick-fucking loon!
Hi.
Come on,
explain to them what we're doing.
So Ellis and I are trying.
Okay, before we even started rolling on this project,
we had planned on launching a Kickstarter for finish funds,
mostly for post-production... Do you want
to explain what Kickstarter is?
And about a crowdfunding and all that?
- No, no, I don't. - Okay.
Anyway, let me finish.
Well, we just realized that
we have no idea how to pitch this film.
I mean, given the obvious subject matter, we can't.
We can't really even use
the cover story of the drug angle, either.
Why not, actually?
Well I mean, I guess we could.
I don't know, I just I feel like it needs to be
sympathetic or chipper or something
for people to want to donate.
You know, that's not entirely true.
I mean, it is important, it's topical, it's got all that,
- and it is sympathetic. - No, I can be sympathetic.
It can be sympathetic.
I mean, how far up our own assholes did we have to be
to just completely have to gloss over
this entire section of the project?
Wait, is that the last beer?
Hey Noel,
it's the ever-persistent Errol.
I know, I've left a few of these,
but we miss you.
Listen, we don't even have to talk about resuming shooting
or the project at all.
We just want to hear that you're alright,
hear that things are coming along for you.
We're going to start the editing process soon.
Edit as you go, so that'll be
rich for confusion and excitement
and long slumberless nights.
Anyway, two weeks is a while.
Give me a shout when you're feeling up to it, okay?
Thanks, buddy.
And how did that come about?
The transitions, you mean?
Yes, what was the process generally, and how speedily?
Immediate.
In light of the funeral, after that when we came home,
everything was different.
Everything changed.
My father, he started drinking heavily,
as did my mother but with her,
it was mostly with pills.
But I lost my parents after that night
in respect of how I've always knew them.
What affect did Ethan's death have on you?
And again, I mean immediately after his passing.
I was old enough to comprehend the weight of it all.
But still, too young to be able to grieve properly.
I was terribly sad, depressed even.
But with my parents being distant
and resentful at times,
I didn't really have an outlet for any of it.
How were they resentful towards you?
By being distant, I guess.
But at least, that's how I remembered it.
Do you feel they blamed you for his death
and the accident itself?
I don't know.
I think they resented the fact that I was still alive.
Do you think they've favored Ethan over you?
Only afterwards, after he was gone.
I think if the roles were reversed
that he would of have experienced a similar trauma.
Where are your parents now?
Dead.
My poor mother, she died of kidney failure,
and my father, he died of life.
I was 12 when I left home.
Where did you go at such a young age?
Around.
When the violent urges
you want to focus our session on begin?
Around the time of Ethan's passing?
The night we buried him,
I put a hole through my bedroom wall.
That's pretty strong for a nine-year-old boy.
I used an ax.
How did you have access to that?
Garage door was unlocked.
I'm sorry to jump around,
but our time is growing increasing limited
and I want to make sure...
I'm sorry, let me turn this off.
I want to make sure that we've arrived at this.
What was the big turn of events
that you wanted to speak about?
Well, it turns out that.
Mikayla's introduction of Gabriella
was solely self-motivated.
How so?
She wants me to take her,
to have full custody.
Did she give you a reason?
The abridged version is that
her boyfriend moved out west for work a few weeks ago,
and she now wants to join him in a month's time.
She wants to start fresh
and relocate, as she puts it.
Why not take Gabriella with her?
She had many reasons.
Central one being
that she doesn't want to uproot Gabriella
now that she's doing so well in school
and making friends.
See, Mikayla, she moved around a lot in her youth,
and she understands the detrimental impact of it.
You have other suspicions?
I think she truly believes
that Gabriella could have a better life with me.
No kidding, I hear it in her voice,
I feel it in her words, the way she said it.
Also, she mentioned that although her boyfriend
is a good man,
he has some unsavory habits
she doesn't want to expose Gabriella to them.
Do you think that's the lot of it?
Probably not.
But like I said, a better life.
How does that make you feel,
the possibility of having sole custody of Gabriella?
More elated than I could ever imagine.
So you're doing it?
Yes.
Wow, I'm very happy for you,
and I'm sorry, but our time is up.
Yeah, it might be.
How the fuck could you let that slip?
I've already apologized to you about it, okay?
But I really want an answer, not just an apology.
It's not like it was a slip of the tongue,
it was in an email.
I mean, Jesus Christ, Ellis,
- who's team are you on? - Look, don't talk to me
like I'm beholden to you.
We're co-directors, we're co-producers.
I slipped up,
- and that's that. - Yeah, that's that.
Until Noel has a spiked soldering iron
shoved two feet up your asshole
in the town square for the city folk
- to feast their eyes on. - It might not even register
with him when he reads it.
Of course it'll register with him when he reads it,
in fact, the moment he reads it
because he's not a fucking idiot like you are.
He made it explicitly clear to not
- film his daughter. - Fuck you, man.
Why are you even communicating with him behind my back
in the first place?
Behind your back?
Is this middle school all over again?
That's it, right?
And just because I have a conversation with someone
and you're not around it,
it doesn't mean it was clandestine.
This wasn't a conversation, dickface,
this was an email, and I should
- of been CC'd on it. - Fine.
For the rest of them, you will be, okay?
He's a goddamn psychopath,
and you're beating him with your mindless bullshit!
I've got a family to protect,
and you better not give him cause to turn on either of us
through your carelessness!
Please, don't throw your family
in the front lines right when the enemy is approaching.
- They're not shields. - Exactly,
- that's what you're doing. - No, no,
all I'm saying is don't use them to reignite
some fucking righteous sense of duty or savior complex.
Oh, oh yeah, you do that.
You hide behind that always!
You knew the risks in documenting someone like Noel,
and you jumped on board willingly with both feet!
Calculated risks,
now shaking the can before you leave it in the sun.
All I'm saying
is don't fuck with me or my family.
- What an ego, man. - No,
it's not about ego.
It's about finishing the goddamn film
and coming out on the other end in one piece.
Do not take needless risks.
You need to tell him that you mistyped,
or weren't thinking
- or something. - No, there's no parenthesis
in film, Errol, just what's on screen
and what isn't, okay?
You can't rewrite what happened, man.
It's a documentary!
We're too involved.
We're part of the story.
Hell, we are the story 'cause the fuck knows where Noel is.
Alright, let's cool off, okay?
Let's take some time,
we'll start editing in a few days.
Guess we'll know by then really where we stand.
Yeah.
Lana,
how long have you been standing there?
I can only hope this lens serves
as a merit to the twisted mission that you're on,
and the danger that you're putting your family in,
you sick fucks.
It's editing day.
Editing day!
Hello, everyone, it's day one of editing
where we hope to sift through the many hours of footage
and see if we can't begin to locate
some key cohesive narrative threads.
Ellis?
Uh, yeah,
just basically seeing where we are
in our journey through the first cut.
And so, let's just help guide the movie, guide the shoot.
Exactly, so we both took the day.
I'm not sure if anyone even knows that we have day jobs,
do they?
I don't think we mentioned it, no.
I mean, I don't even know
if we're going to use this, to be honest.
Probably not.
Anyway, we both took the day from our respective day jobs
that you may or may not know that we had.
Should we tell them what our day jobs are?
No, let's just focus, okay?
We've already...
Jesus.
It's probably just the mailman.
Is Dwayne Johnson your mailman?
- God! - Yeah, there's probably
a hole in the door.
We have footage.
Seriously?
Awesome, let's take a look.
Well, the mail guy must of been in a rush
'cause he was half way down the block
by the time I even opened the door.
Neither rain nor snow nor good manners.
Okay.
Looks like an empty card.
Maybe it's just got the one video.
Oh, Jesus.
What?
This is my house.
This is here.
Oh my God.
What, well, what is it?
This was shot today.
Brian stayed home from preschool with a fever.
That's him now!
It's editing day.
Editing day!
Hello, everyone.
It's day one of editing
where we hope to sift through the many hours of footage,
and see if we can't begin to locate
some key cohesive narrative threads.
Ellis?
Uh yeah,
it's just basically seeing where we are.
No, no!
What did I say about Gabriella!
Off limits, off limits, off limits!
Say it with me, you fat pig!
Get off of him, Noel!
Hello, gentlemen.
- Hey, Noel. - What's up, Noel?
Look, I know we're all a bit shaken up
about what happened yesterday.
And to tell you the truth, I'm sort of sorry, okay?
But, out of one corner of my mouth, I say, "I'm sorry,"
and now the other corner, I say, "I told you so."
I know my methods were a bit drastic,
but that's how I convey the finer points, sometimes.
I know,
and we are so, so sorry for crossing that line.
We were just sorry for crossing that line, Noel.
The footage is gone, it won't happen again.
I'm confident it won't,
I know we're all on the same page, now.
I feel this is really my fault, guys,
I mean, - Ellis,
Ellis, don't be silly.
Either way, it's all under the bridge,
we're good, okay?
Okay, thank you
for that therapy footage exclusive, by the way.
That was fascinating and insightful
and very candid.
How's that going?
I can't see how it could be going any better.
Doctor Solov has been absolutely wonderful.
She's making a substantial difference in my life.
How many times a week are you seeing her?
Twice, it was once, but I upped it to two.
One was too few, too far in between.
The sessions have been transformative,
and really encouraging
which is exactly what I need right now.
May I ask about the unscratchable itch?
It's still there, but drastically reduced.
See, impulse is impulse.
But with therapy comes understanding,
which manifests itself as self-control.
And how so?
I'm understanding the how's and why's,
the blips and bumps in this road map of life experiences
that make me Me.
So now, when there is an impulse,
I'm not longer caught off guard,
but I can instead stop
and think almost immediately.
And how Gabriella doing?
I mean, is she aware of the transition to come?
Yes, she just found out this morning, Mikayla told her.
Her reaction was odd, but not odd.
She reacted almost as if it was due time.
- Gabriella's reaction? - Yes, yes,
she acted as if she knew it was coming,
as if it was supposed to be, if that makes any sense.
That connection between the two of you
must be unbelievably palpable,
and she's only known you for a matter of weeks.
I know, I'm extremely grateful.
It feels like all this was fated.
Say Noel, do you think we could get together
and do some live shooting some time soon?
Would you feel up to that?
Absolutely, yes, I've been feeling better
and eager to help now.
But look boys,
nature's been calling and has now left several messages,
so why don't you message me when you want to meet
and we can sort out the details.
- Okay. - Okay,
looking forward to hearing about the final plans
and all the editing.
- I'll talk to you soon, okay? - Sounds good,
- bye, Noel. - Later.
Sometimes I wonder about his father.
How so?
I just feel like there's more there.
I want out.
I don't know how to... You don't know how,
how what, Noel?
- How to stop. - You have to be proud
of yourself.
Man, that was amazing in there.
You've wanted to change and better yourself,
and you have.
Then what the hell was that?
Why can't I stop that?
Why can't I control it?
I probably took a year off of that woman's life just through
- sheer terror alone. - No, that's nonsense,
and you know that not to be true.
Plus, let's call this a recovery, okay?
You've just begun this process.
You can't expect overnight shifts or sudden epiphanies.
You're putting in the work and the time.
And you've come leaping and bounding
from where you once were.
It's not the same, Errol.
It's different, once you've done it
and you've gotten away with it, the fear is gone.
The stigma, the hesitation, it's gone.
It's gone for good.
Everything is changes.
It changes.
You're gonna be okay,
and not just for your own sake.
I have to be.
I quite have to be, don't I?
So she comes outside.
And keep in mind, she just recently moved in,
so she's getting to know everyone,
she's getting her bearings,
- you know. - It's so wonderful
to hear about the rest of your family, too.
Oh, Alisha, she's wonderful.
She's a great spirit.
- Mom's side? - Yes.
So she comes outside, and this is in Florida.
And she sees this old woman harvesting these oranges
across the way.
Being all bubbly and friendly as Alisha is,
she practically runs towards this woman
and introduces herself.
She says, "Hi, my name's Alisha Morgan",
"I just moved in, what's your name?"
The old woman looks at her, she nods for a second,
and says, "Jess Picken."
So, Alisha says, "Nice to meet you, Jess Picken."
And for a few weeks, every time that Alisha sees this woman,
she says, "Hi, Jess Picken," or "Good morning, Jess Picken."
then about a month later, the landlady comes by.
Alisha had a runny sink or something.
And the old lady comes out,
and the landlady yells out, "Good morning, Verna."
And Alisha's all confused, she said,
"Why did you just call Jess Verna?"
Landlady shakes her head,
and Alisha continues, says, "No, no",
"I asked her what her name was,"
"and she it was Jess Picken."
Landlady bursts out laughing.
She explains to Alisha
that the woman probably said, "Just Picking."
She takes the oranges from the tree
and sells them at a farmer's market on the Sundays.
And so, for the better part of the month,
Alisha had been calling this woman Just Picking.
So Noel,
what are your hopes and/or goals
of things to learn and discover
throughout the rest of the making of this documentary,
now that we've come so far and are winding down a bit?
You know, that's a solid question, Errol.
I've learned a whole lot,
and what I wanted to learn during this process.
Now, it'll be about the implementation
of what it is that I've learned.
Are you pleased that you went on this journey with us?
I truly am.
I owe you gentlemen a whole lot,
and I plan on finding a way to pay you back.
No, we are indebted and forever grateful to you.
If you have one goal as a father,
and a new father at that, what would it be?
To not be mine.
To not fail, to not be weak, but to be strong.
And not just for one, but for two.
If you could say one thing to Gabriella right now
as life advice going forward, what would you say?
Love yourself.
Cherish who you are, all your inner workings,
all your little tics, everything.
And don't fear anyone,
especially don't fear yourself.
How have kids changed now from when you were her age?
Kids need to be kids.
But today, they have much less time to be themselves.
They grow up so much faster,
they lose their innocence sooner.
I have this friend at work, his name's Earl.
He talks about what a nightmare it is
watching his teenage daughter go out at night.
One thing he said that always stuck with me
is that he won't let her
become strawberry-flavored plastic.
Super-sweet, faking an innocent facade,
with a faulty venire of adulthood
and worldliness all condensed
in a tiny frame that really knows neither.
Of all the poor generations,
they thought they had it all figured out by age 18,
only to find out that they weren't equipped
what was needed to handle the real world.
And that's why I'm not just gonna be a father to Gabriella.
I want to be her guardian angel,
and I'm gonna be her best friend for a while there, too.
That's lovely, Noel.
I guess the silver lining
and growing up in a loveless and desolate hell
and watching it make a monster out of me is that
I know how I got here.
And that's valuable knowledge to accrue.
I think I'll have the Cavetelli Sausage.
Ooh, good choice.
A bit much, but...
But I'll bite.
Yeah, well, you bite.
I think I'll get the Ino Truffle Egg Toast for myself.
Good choice.
Well, I'm ready.
Gentlemen, my I propose a toast?
To Noel,
for being so open and this selfless.
To you, to Gabriella and to your future.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Cheers.
Noel, you okay?
Noel?
Good evening, you sack of severed horse sticks.
You shut up before I come over there
and fuck-start your face until the whole room stinks,
and your shirt runs off like with the stench
- of my balls. - Jesus Christ!
What's the news, crumb?
Why don't you can the commentary
and keep munching on your whop kipple?
You remember me?
- No. - Aww, come on, fourth grade,
do you remember me, fourth grade?
You cheated at a game of checkers
to make me look like an utter fool
in front of Mallory Waters.
Mallory Waters!
And now look at you, you scoundrel!
Looks like any hussy with two legs
and a watery crevice between her thighs
and a chest bigger than yours will do, won't it?
Is she a hooker?
She smells like squirrels fucking.
Life lesson, doll,
don't buy your perfume from the CVS!
I should pound her little ruby starfruit
like a crochet mallet and send you the bill afterwards.
Oh, does that get the reproach
you squirting out of your scatch?
I should rip your innards out with a pitchfork
and hang 'em on New York's tallest monuments!
Modern art, baby!
No, stand there, I'm not gonna touch him!
You scum.
One!
Two!
Three!
You should of been shot into a sock,
or your mother's practice throat,
not to be left to infiltrate
fine dining establishments like this,
with your vial putrid immorality and your whore wife!
You're gonna king me, you wanna king me?
You scum, you harlot!
You swine!
The black plague started with fleas on a rat.
Take a look in the mirror, and tell me what you see.
Take a look, you scum,
- take a look! - Come on.
Get a life, bitch!
Come on, come on, come on.
Right now, we're putting the final touches
of the beginning touches of this beautiful doll house.
Look at that, honey.
Show them my pictures.
Who, what?
- Show them my pictures. - Show who the pictures?
Oh,
you want to show the camera people your pictures, okay.
Let's see, more pictures.
Look at that.
See, when I was young,
whenever I drew something or offered,
so after I created anything really,
I'd always do something odd with my name.
I'd sign it differently or spell it backwards
or change something about it.
Seems like Gabriella likes to do the same thing.
Look at that.
Honey, where did you see this?
Did you see this in a picture?
Is it from your noggin?
From your head, yeah?
Look at that.
See?
Those back doors are closed right now.
Maybe it's a sign, paradise.
Could it be a sign?
The doors are closed.
Noel, Noel!
♪ All the color the right shade ♪
♪ All the nights they turn to day ♪
♪ All the sound in unison ♪
♪ All the fabric mold as one ♪
♪ All the demons won't escape ♪
♪ The tide of tempted fate ♪
♪ 'Cause I have you ♪
♪ You you you you you you you ♪
♪ Becoming of age ♪
♪ And I don't care anymore ♪
♪ You coming my way ♪
♪ And I won't swear anymore ♪
♪ Candles do just fine tonight ♪
♪ Blankets both for us to hide ♪
♪ And I don't need a yard ♪
♪ With you are two apart ♪
♪ Not a lot this not to give ♪
♪ I don't need that much to live ♪
♪ Underneath the sun ♪
♪ Me plus you it's us as one ♪
♪ La-Da-Da-Da-La... Da-Da-Da-La-Da-Da ♪
♪ Oh La-Da-La-Da-Da-da ♪
♪ La-Da-Da-Da-La-Da-Da-Da ♪
Noel, how the hell do get up this early every morning?
You get used to it.
♪ All the demons won't escape ♪
♪ The tide of tempted fate ♪
♪ 'Cause I have you ♪
These are awesome.
I'm fully aware I'm being that annoying father right now
showing you these pictures you don't give a crap about.
But frankly, I don't give a shit.
Of course we care.
It's fascinating how quickly you become doting.
Four weeks ago, if someone tried to do this to me,
I'd want to rip out their larynx
and show it to their mother.
Not literally, just to be clear.
- That's unbelievable. - What, exactly?
No, say that again.
- Say what? - For the camera about...
- About what? - About your routine.
Oh.
I've had the same routine every single morning
for seven years now.
With no change, whatsoever.
Well, that's what makes it routine,
- Errol. - Yeah, I know, but still.
Take us through it.
Every morning, I wake up at 4:37 a.m.
Why?
I don't know,
because it's later than 4:35 a.m.
So in my mind, psychologically, I'm gaming the system
by getting two minutes of extra sleep.
Besides, 4:40 a.m. is too late.
Operating on fives and 10s, it's arbitrary to me.
- It's good? - Yeah.
Good.
You're gonna be losing light soon here, man.
Oh, we're losing light.
Why the hell did Norman
send everybody off early?
120 Apple Street's got to get finished by tomorrow.
He couldn't of left one other guy?
I suppose he thought we were sufficient.
By the way, what are you feeding this guy, anyway, ecstasy?
And half the time, he's smiling like a goddamn lunatic.
Nobody smiles at work.
Maybe he's on the verge of something
that makes him happy, I don't know.
- Maybe. - Yeah.
Still, I think he's becoming
- squirrely. - Squirrely?
Yeah.
Why do you have to say that about Noel?
I'm squirrely I guess, what can I say?
I don't know which one's worse,
this Noel or the Noel that half the time
looks like he could kill a mother fucker.
I'm just concerned that at some point,
we'll be shooting just to shoot, you know?
I mean, I don't want to spend the money,
or more importantly, the time continuing
when we really do have enough.
Yeah, I completely agree.
It's funny.
There's been a few times where I've almost said,
"That's a wrap."
But I feel like this really is that moment.
Well, it must be,
or now, we wouldn't be filming, right?
Document everything, as we always say
because you never know.
Oh my God, oh my God!
- Lana? - What's happening?
Oh God, oh God.
- What are you watching? - What is this!
What is this, what is wrong with you!
Why is this in our house!
So Noel, as much as I enjoy
weighing the positives and negatives of my potentially
taking the coaching job at the middle school,
what's the big announcement that you wanted to tell us?
Gentlemen, this will be our final correspondence,
at least for a while.
I've been planning something catastrophically large,
and there's a good chance this will be
the last time I will talk to you.
How do you mean?
I'm afraid I can't elaborate.
I'll have to leave it there.
That sounds rather menacing, Noel,
especially after the positive.
Oh no, the positive is still there, I assure you.
This is just
that last leg of my therapy, if you will.
Did you say, "Catastrophic,"
or, "Catastrophically large?"
- He said, "Large," after. - Did he, did you?
Let's just say this will be
the most significant contribution of my life.
I've been working towards this for a very long time, now.
Will you be in the lurch,
or did you get everything that you need to get from me?
Funny, Noel, we were just discussing that the other night.
And we have concluded that yes, indeed,
we've captured everything that we wanted to.
Splendid, well,
let's not make this too heavy of a goodbye
since it's on Skype and all,
and I'm not really too keen on them, anyway.
Will you be in touch?
Yes, when the time is right,
I will be in touch.
Take care of yourself, Noel.
And more importantly,
take care of Gabriella.
Check and check.
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
How will this story end?
How will your story end?
With the happiest and poppyest of melodies.
The best to both of you and your families.
Thank you, any final words for us?
This is Noel Rose, signing off the grid.
Honey, please.
Look don't do this.
You don't know Noel like I do.
He loves Gabriella.
Baby please, just listen to me.
Just hang up the phone, and listen to me.
Just talk to me for a second,
please Lana.
Baby, just listen to me.
No, don't.
Babe don't do it.
Just hang up the phone and talk to me.
Just hang up their phone and talk to me, please.
One, two, three,
there ya go.
Let's get you buckled in, huh?
Are you warm enough, yeah?
It's not too tight?
Okay.
Yay!
Do you think this is a really temporary place for it?
I do.
Gabby, can I ask you something without you being afraid?
Are you afraid?
I'm never afraid when I'm with you, daddy.
I love you, Gabriella.
I love you, too.
Are you ready to go?
Alright.
I was gonna start at the beginning.
I was gonna start at the...
Interesting to hear you say that, Noel,
because it is all about perception, right?
I think for us as filmmakers and for the audience
it's important.
No, actually, it's absolutely imperative
that we don't try to mince words
or hide behind anything that we could possibly hide behind
should we feel threatened
or uncertain of purpose or direction.
I mean, we've spoken about that at length, Noel.
So, to that end, I have to ask,
do you consider yourself to be a serial killer?
Does that apply to you?
The term serial killer.
Society, people these days,
they have too vague of an interest
in the specific acute learning of something.
It's far more superior, but far more difficult
to acquire knowledge and have a firm understanding
as opposed to applying a label
and then conditioning your mind
to see the label, not what's behind it.
So yes, by definition, you could apply a label to me
and you would be accurate.
But it's all impulse, isn't it?
If I was to drag your impulses in the middle of the street,
I think I could do a swell job
of turning you out to be some spawn of the devil
or unsavory spirit.
See, these labels, they create vague ideas,
and with vague ideas,
you can make anyone out to be
a monster or a demon.
That's what people do when they don't understand
or when they wish not to, so I am not offended by it.
See, it creates a troublesome state of affairs
for those who fall under that category.
Especially for those who don't.
Do you have any rules?
Mm-hm.
No women and no children.
I'm just kidding.
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