1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,568
<i>Dear Office of Admissions,</i>

3
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,361
<i>my name is Brooks Rattigan,</i>

4
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,488
<i>but I don't just want </i>you<i> to know that,</i>

5
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,907
<i>I want the </i>world<i> to know that,</i>

6
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,826
<i>because I wanna change the world.</i>

7
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,166
<i>Like my heroes before me,</i>

8
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,709
<i>Jobs, Jordan,</i>

9
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,295
<i>Musk, game changers.</i>

10
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,088
<i>World changers.</i>

11
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,674
<i>These are big lives,</i>

12
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,301
<i>glamorous lives.</i>

13
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,970
<i>My dad lived a pretty big life.</i>

14
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,346
<i>Now he...</i>

15
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,266
<i>doesn't.</i>

16
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,477
<i>You can't change the world alone.</i>

17
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,396
<i>Every Jobs needs a Watts,
every Jordan has a Pippen,</i>

18
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,731
<i>every Musk has...</i>

19
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,316
<i>Well, actually I think</i>

20
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,693
<i>Musk will probably end up on Mars
by himself.</i>

21
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,652
<i>I've got Murph.</i>

22
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,488
The reviews are in.

23
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,156
- And?
- Someone wrote...

24
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,700
Oh, "This app made me poke my eyes out,
thanks for nothing."

25
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,912
But someone else wrote,
"Groovy app," so...

26
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,705
I guess it's net neutral.

27
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,208
- It's good that they're not all bad.
- True.

28
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,291
On to the next one.

29
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,962
<i>Another crucial lesson I've
learned from my heroes and from Murph,</i>

30
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,714
<i>"Always be improving."</i>

31
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,134
<i>I invoke this lesson daily
in my current profession...</i>

32
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,599
<i>purveyor of the culinary arts.</i>

33
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:46,606
<i>Without vision, we succumb to the average,
and what I want is the extraordinary</i>

34
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,942
<i>and the support of
an extraordinary unive...</i>

35
00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,194
Okay. That's enough.

36
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,613
- But there's actually five more pages.
- That's plenty.

37
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:55,614
Okay.

38
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,325
So what do you think?

39
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:58,785
I think...

40
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,415
I think all the words were there.

41
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:06,875
You hate it.

42
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,879
I bare my soul on these pages
and you hate my soul.

43
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,024
You didn't bare your soul.
That's what I hate about it.

44
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,634
- Say more about that.
- You wanna change the world?

45
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,717
What about it?

46
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,972
The world needs changing
and I'm sure that you can agree with that.

47
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,431
Ugh!

48
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,936
You talk about creating
the next big thing. What thing?

49
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,647
And you wanna be a game-changer.

50
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,524
What is the game?

51
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,985
You're really going full-blown
<i>Shark Tank</i> on me,

52
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,653
and I have to say that I appreciate it.

53
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,573
- Yale's the goal, correct?
- Yes, more than anything in the world.

54
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,283
You have the grades.

55
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,409
Thank you for noticing.

56
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,092
They're not just looking for
good grades.

57
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,955
If you wanna stand out,
you're gonna have to rework your essay.

58
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:46,249
You're gonna have to look real deep inside

59
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,667
and ask yourself,

60
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,919
"Who is Brooks Rattigan?"

61
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,223
Wanna take it for a spin,
Rattigan?

62
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,477
- Uh, yeah, sure.
- Yeah?

63
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,024
No. No!

64
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,937
Hey, he's home.

65
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,314
Good thing I got a second box here.

66
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,437
No, I think I'm just gonna grab something
from work.

67
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,109
Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Don't go.

68
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:57,528
I feel like we don't talk anymore.

69
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,739
Really? I feel like
that's pretty much all we do.

70
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,116
You met with the counselor today, right?
How did that go?

71
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,371
It was good. She told me that
Yale's competitive. Did you know that?

72
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,081
I thought we agreed on UCONN?

73
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,458
Faculty scions only pay room and board.

74
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:14,501
Dad, I told you not to worry about the money.
Okay, you're right. Why am I worried about money?

75
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,964
College is free, right?

76
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:17,924
I'm gonna figure it out.

77
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,425
I don't get it.

78
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,636
It's a great school.

79
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,973
UCONN is like the girl down the street
who eats food in bed and smells like it.

80
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,350
- Patty Munchwrath?
- I love Patty, she's fantastic,

81
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,810
but she's not Yale.

82
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:29,893
Yale...

83
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:30,978
She is...

84
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,105
she's smart,

85
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,691
she's stylish, but not flashy.

86
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,574
She's cultured,
she speaks multiple languages,

87
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,777
probably knows how to sail.

88
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,363
You get accepted by her,

89
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,615
that means you're somebody special.

90
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,369
Murph, do you wanna write
my admissions essay for me?

91
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,705
We could do it like a thought exercise.

92
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,958
I'm good, cos I'm writing mine,
because people write their own.

93
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,168
Give me some inspiration.
What's your core theme?

94
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,629
I'm writing about my struggles
with dyslexia,

95
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,715
and I'm writing it backwards.

96
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,842
That's genius.

97
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,261
- Do you wanna hear what I got?
- Mm.

98
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:05,263
"My name is Brooks Rattigan."

99
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,558
I like it.
It's raw.

100
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,229
Honest.

101
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,065
I don't know, man,
I think my life's interesting.

102
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,110
I just don't know how to
articulate it, you know?

103
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,612
Why don't you write about
your mom leaving?

104
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,615
- That's interesting.
- That's a really short essay, actually.

105
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,869
Dad got bucked off the publishing horse
instead of getting back on it,

106
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,704
and chasing after his cowgirl,

107
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,290
he decided that sitting in the mud
was good enough for him.

108
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,584
Yeah, but she left <i>you</i> too.

109
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:38,629
No, I think in truth she left this town,
and I can't hold that against her.

110
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,549
Nothing is good enough for you.

111
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,384
I think I can respect that.

112
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,763
My aunt and uncle keep begging me,
and it's like I'm not gonna say, "No."

113
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,099
You say, "No," <i>because </i>she's family
and dating your cousin is weird.

114
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,601
Dude, I'm not dating my cousin,

115
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,937
I'm escorting her to a semi-formal
like Greenwich Prep, that's it.

116
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,106
Plus my uncle is paying me too, so...

117
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,485
What up, Rattigan?
Italian sub on wheat, no tomatoes.

118
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,278
Italian sub for the Italian guy.

119
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,422
I'm Swedish.
No, yeah, I know,

120
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,659
just no self-respecting Italian
would turn his back on the tomato.

121
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,035
Word.

122
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,499
Anyway, I mean, dude,
it's like the worst timing ever too.

123
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,268
Like, Maddison's parents
are gonna be gone...

124
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:21,212
...for the night and we'd have the house to ourselves.
- Is your cousin hot? I'll take her if she's hot.

125
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,507
I'll take your cousin.

126
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,300
- What?
- Yeah, what?

127
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,718
Yeah, what?

128
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,971
- I'll take your cousin to the dance.
- Oh, yeah, sandwich boy?

129
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,391
Yeah? You gonna be wearing
those plastic gloves too?

130
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,017
Cos my aunt would love that.

131
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,436
No, this is Greenwich,
so I would dress the part.

132
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,689
- Why? What would you get out of it?
- I get the payment you're talking about.

133
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,609
And I get to take your car.

134
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,353
No, you're not taking my car.

135
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,489
Come on, man, you're gonna tell me
that you really wanna give up the chance

136
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:50,284
of spending an entire night all alone with
Maddison when her parents are out of town?

137
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,664
You got a suit?

138
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,004
Woo! I cannot believe he said yes,
Murph. This is incredible!

139
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,214
It's just a car.

140
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:06,050
You have no appreciation
for the finer things in life.

141
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:06,968
<i>Speaking of things</i>

142
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:09,095
I don't have appreciation for,
remind me again,

143
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,555
why you agreed to do this?

144
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,098
<i>Because I need the money.</i>

145
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,267
Who knows,
maybe stepping outside of myself,

146
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:17,270
becoming someone else for the night,
it might help me finish my essay.

147
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,313
And who are you gonna become?

148
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,691
Whatever she wants me to be,
which I'm pretty sure is

149
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,276
what every other girl wants me to be.

150
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,069
Some knight in shining armor,

151
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,489
some Prince Charming to open doors for her
and compliment her hair.

152
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,908
You're getting paid to take a girl
on a date.

153
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,078
So, did you know that Michelle Obama
got paid to go on a date with Barack

154
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,372
- and look how great that turned out.
- Is that true?

155
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,834
I don't know. I'm not a presidential
historian, but it could be true,

156
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,210
and that is my point.

157
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,024
- Hello, sir. Brooks Rattigan.
- Brooks Rattigan.

158
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,443
Reece told us all about you.

159
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:09,071
Just your name, but that's all I needed
to run the background check.

160
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,658
No, I actually know
that you ran a background check.

161
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,453
I found out when I ran one on you.

162
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,914
- Jerry Lieberman. Come in, Brooks.
- Sure.

163
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,249
Before you have a chance
to change your mind.

164
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,043
I'm kidding.

165
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,171
I like to joke about things.

166
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,508
- So, welcome to our humble abode.
- This is stupid!

167
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,528
- As you can see, all original flooring.
- Get out!

168
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,721
I swear, Jerry, the wrinkles
that girl has caused me

169
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,640
in places I didn't even know
could wrinkle.

170
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,266
Honey, our guest has arrived.

171
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:38,434
Hi.

172
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,678
- Brooks Rattigan.
- Lillian Lieberman.

173
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,107
She won't wear the shoes.

174
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:49,362
There are no "the shoes,"
there's just shoes. Is she wearing shoes?

175
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,365
It's a miracle
she agreed to do this.

176
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,453
Good evening.

177
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,163
- I am...
- Reece's bitch?

178
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,291
- Celia!
- Relax, he knows I'm kidding.

179
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,626
Right, slum?

180
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,128
Oh, sweetie, you look so beautiful.

181
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,964
I'm not wearing the shoes.

182
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,882
- But they go.
- Listen to yourself.

183
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:14,053
Well, I happen to think
that heels are an outmoded display of

184
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,013
female oppression.

185
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:19,975
Fine.

186
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,185
Thanks, Mom.

187
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,729
Let's do this, so we can stop doing this.

188
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,440
You kids have fun.

189
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,070
- Thanks for the assist back there.
- Yeah, no, just part of the job.

190
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,532
Reece let you use his car.

191
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,118
Man, he was really desperate
to get out of this, wasn't he?

192
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,081
No, he wanted to go with you. He thought
<i>we</i> would have more fun together.

193
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,121
- Uh-huh.
- Here.

194
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:42,832
There you are.

195
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,166
Oh, that's cute,

196
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,669
but I can open my own doors.

197
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,421
Thanks.

198
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,468
Okay.

199
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,853
Shall I put on some music?

200
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,649
Wow, you provide quite the service.

201
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,944
Don't tell me you've got
individually wrapped Mentos

202
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,738
and Tyler water bottles in your glove box.

203
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:15,864
Oh, my God, you do.

204
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,659
Fulfilling my fantasy of dating
my Lyft driver.

205
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,663
<i>In 500 feet, make a left.</i>

206
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,457
No, you're gonna keep on the straight.

207
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:27,752
- The navigation said...
- No, don't listen to robots, listen to me.

208
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,713
<i>Recalculating.
In 200 feet, make a right.</i>

209
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,381
You need to make a left here.

210
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,216
Okay, so now pull over,

211
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,345
and here we are.

212
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:41,545
This is not your high school.
Wouldn't it be weird if it was?

213
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,685
Okay, so you can swing back
and pick me up in a few hours.

214
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,229
You're telling me
that you would rather hang out at a...

215
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,815
café book store
than go to a high school dance?

216
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:50,899
Yes.

217
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,610
Oh, my God. Yes.

218
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,819
Yes, I would.

219
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,571
- Celia.
- Gigolo.

220
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,074
- Brooks. My name's Brooks.
- Sure.

221
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:01,410
Look, you are my responsibility,
and I cannot let you out of this car.

222
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,204
Okay, let's define terms here.

223
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:07,083
I'm not your responsibility, because
Eisenhower isn't in office anymore.

224
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,544
Secondly, you're being paid
to hang out with me.

225
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:15,174
Imagine how that makes me feel.
Like, really, really imagine it.

226
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,300
Now do as I say.

227
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:21,013
Compensation aside, I think that you and I
could have a really good time tonight.

228
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,100
You've clearly never been
to my high school.

229
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,939
Fine.

230
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,194
Wow.

231
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,277
What?

232
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,990
Your hair looks really nice.

233
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:58,134
- Wow, this is your cafeteria?
- Center for culinary participation.

234
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,803
Don't let the glossy sheen fool you,

235
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,346
the food still sucks.

236
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:06,267
I admire your ability to ruin moments.
You do it with panache.

237
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,105
Why is nobody dancing? What, is dancing
just a poor person thing now?

238
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,524
You think people actually
go to a dance to dance?

239
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,727
No, they come here to take photos
for their Instagram.

240
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,570
I'm sure that's why
people have babies too.

241
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,448
- Okay, let's go shred some hardwood.
- No.

242
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,531
- Yes.
- No, no, no.

243
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,700
- No.
- Yes!

244
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,087
Okay.

245
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,467
What do you got going on over here?

246
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,845
I can't tell if you're doing Chandler Bing
or Napoleon Dynamite.

247
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,722
Definitely Bing.

248
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,348
It's a good choice.

249
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,946
No.

250
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,532
- Come on.
- No.

251
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,950
- Come on!
- No.

252
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,702
- Come on.
- No, no, no, no!

253
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:16,669
Bye.

254
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,555
- Oh! Ouch!
- Hey!

255
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,807
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

256
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,683
You just made me twist my ankle,
you dipshit.

257
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,103
Sorry, I was kind of blinded
by an angelic light.

258
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,314
It's fine, whatever,
just now I'm on medical leave.

259
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,193
- Hey, come on, let me help you.
- Hey, do not touch me. Thank you.

260
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,795
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

261
00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,797
Are you okay, Celia?

262
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,882
Uh, yeah, I'm fine.

263
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:06,387
But now I can't run the charity 5K
for canine diabetes this weekend.

264
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,222
Oh! Funny.

265
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:12,935
So, I'm having this intimate after-party
thing at my place. You guys should come.

266
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,645
Yeah, I mean, that's...

267
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,691
She's, you know, but rain check?

268
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,233
That's a shame.

269
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,321
- I'm Shelby, by the way.
- Brooks.

270
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,074
- Hi.
- Hi.

271
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,284
Okay.

272
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:31,412
Well, what do you say there,
Brooksie, my boyfriend,

273
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:35,207
my protector, my forever love,
shall we get the hell moving?

274
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,668
- Yeah. It was nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.

275
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,085
Bye.

276
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,180
I mean, a baby in a gas mask?

277
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,517
Oh! Street art is a public disservice.

278
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,061
It's like streaking on a baseball field.

279
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,521
- Trashbug?
- Yeah.

280
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,064
I see his stuff everywhere.

281
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,443
I'm pretty sure his next piece is gonna be
the Mona Lisa, but with the fangs.

282
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:06,572
Trashbug, he's just some bored,
privileged white dude, I know it.

283
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,199
How you doing, temperature wise?
Are you comfortable?

284
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,243
You're a real professional.

285
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,704
- Like, is this your stock-in-trade?
- No.

286
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,624
It should be.
I'm telling you, you're really good at it.

287
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:21,211
Troubled rich girls in need of a
chaperone, it could be big business here.

288
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,670
You really think so?

289
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:27,635
No, I'm joking. But, wow,
you are super serious about it, huh?

290
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,386
Okay, you know I could...

291
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,640
I could provide a testimonial
for your website.

292
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:37,603
Celia Lieberman says,
"Brooks Rattigan stepped on my ankle,

293
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:39,562
but...

294
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,190
he got me ice."

295
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,025
Much appreciated, thank you.

296
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,039
Wait, hold on. Let me help you.

297
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,292
You seriously do not have to do that.

298
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,710
Wait, come on. Hold on.

299
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,756
I insist. You shouldn't have to walk
to that door by yourself,

300
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:07,800
especially not with that ankle,

301
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:11,053
which has miraculously shifted
to the other leg.

302
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,136
Huh?

303
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,806
Miracles happen every day.

304
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,518
I had to break into the kitchen
to get you packs of ice.

305
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,105
- You're a sadist.
- One of my more likable qualities.

306
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:24,828
I cannot believe that I missed Shelby's after-party
because of your dumb, fake ankle injury.

307
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,444
My fake ankle injury was not dumb.

308
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,989
My fake ankle injury was strategic
and adorable.

309
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,075
You should be thanking me.
You do not belong at Shelby's party.

310
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:36,704
Oh, really? Poor kid from Bridgeport
doesn't belong at a Greenwich after party?

311
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:40,207
Whoa, I didn't even need to try
to push that button.

312
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,627
We met, like, four hours ago, remember?
I don't know where you're from.

313
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:48,841
I meant you don't belong there,
because you seem normal.

314
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,259
Whoa. Phew.

315
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,386
The highest compliment one can receive.

316
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,764
Hey, you're back.

317
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,182
Disappear.

318
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,519
Ugh!

319
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,066
- So, how was the dance?
- It was good.

320
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,152
- Oh, thanks for asking.
- Right.

321
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,654
Your daughter is a very...

322
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,324
Do not try to define her, Brooks,
it will mess up your early 40s.

323
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,705
Well, there's still the matter of the...

324
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,456
The bounty.

325
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,417
Yes.

326
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,836
You know what, take all of it.

327
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,130
- Are you sure? That's a lot of money.
- Yeah.

328
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,300
You lasted three hours longer
than we predicted.

329
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,469
You earned every Benjamin.

330
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,431
All right,
the exterior looks okay.

331
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,392
I mean, you got a couple of smudges
right here, but,

332
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,728
it's not too big of a deal.

333
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,063
I don't get it.

334
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,607
Reece, we go to the same school,
your parents aren't rich,

335
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,530
- how did you afford this thing?
- Hey, dude...

336
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,071
Dude, some questions
shouldn't be asked, okay?

337
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,826
- Yeah, my bad.
- I'm kidding, bro, I'm kidding.

338
00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,495
Calm down.

339
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,332
Honestly, it's in the hustle.

340
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:05,959
It's all in the hustle.

341
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,396
Come on, it is classic quid pro quo.

342
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,899
I get the app I need,
and the money I need to go to Yale,

343
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,485
and you get to practice your craft,
the art of coding.

344
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,029
- You haven't even been accepted yet.
- Yet.

345
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,156
Look, worst case scenario,
I take the money,

346
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,451
and I get ownership stake
in this here fine establishment.

347
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,495
I can finally live out
my eighth-choice dream

348
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,205
of a being a fast food restaurant owner.

349
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:45,833
What would you need exactly?

350
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,793
Okay, so I've been thinking and I think

351
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,462
that every date would be
custom built by the user,

352
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,881
meaning that they could pick
my personality, my interests,

353
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,717
whether I'm a listener or a talker,
if I'm funny or serious.

354
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,138
Basically, I am a stand-in
for whatever it is that they want.

355
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:00,848
Their dream come true.

356
00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:03,600
If it was successful,

357
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,644
that would look good
on my college application.

358
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,272
So does this mean that you're in?

359
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,441
Yes!

360
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,570
I love you so much, Murph.

361
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,029
Wait, what time, what time is it?

362
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,365
- Uh...
- Oh, tuna melt on seven grain!

363
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,033
Did you hear a ding?

364
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,369
I think the cheese delivery is here,
would you go check?

365
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,621
- I didn't hear a ding.
- No, I did, yeah.

366
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,208
- I definitely heard it. Go. Now.
- Why are you rushing me, man?

367
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,087
Hi.

368
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,631
I'll take a tuna melt on seven grain,
please.

369
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,384
Of course you will.

370
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,389
Is it done?

371
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:47,394
Have you ever tried to program an app
on custom Objective-C infrastructure?

372
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,939
You're lucky I was able to salvage
some of this code from another project.

373
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:59,835
Is that it?
It is done.

374
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,133
The Stand-In.
Murph, this is...

375
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,454
This is perfect.

376
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:09,041
Uh-huh. In terms of functionality,
think GrubHub,

377
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,501
but instead of ordering Pad Thai,

378
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,586
they'll be ordering you.

379
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,089
And check it out, I created a secondary
app that tracks your progress.

380
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:19,384
As you make more money,
your avatar gets closer to your goal.

381
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,136
I'm calling it MyTraxx.

382
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:22,763
MyTraxx.

383
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,576
There's little Brooks riding it in there,
he looks so innocent.

384
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,143
Yeah, but that's all in the past
because you're a hooker now.

385
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,813
- What? No, I'm not. I'm a...
- I guess that makes me your pimp.

386
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,733
- A high-tech pimp, but a pimp nonetheless.
- No.

387
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,360
I'm a gay teenage pimp,

388
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,922
wearing a secondhand hoodie.
My life as I envisioned it.

389
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,864
I am not gonna be sleeping...

390
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,325
Yeah, I know, because if you did,
we'd both go to jail,

391
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,495
which rhymes with Yale
and yet is so different,

392
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,789
but you have your new rich friends
to bail you out.

393
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,333
Okay, Murph, first of all,
I don't have any new friends.

394
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,461
Okay? And second of all,
I'm offering my services as a chaperone.

395
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,548
Whatever, man. What do we do now?

396
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,760
What one does
when bringing a new product to market?

397
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,680
Talk about it incessantly on Reddit,
until it sounds really important.

398
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:06,847
What is a Reddit?

399
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,316
- What's going on?
- Breakfast for two.

400
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:17,859
Why?

401
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:21,113
Because families eat breakfast together,
even really small ones.

402
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,115
Next year, when you're off to college,

403
00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:26,952
I'll be a family of one,
so now we eat pancakes.

404
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:30,664
Pancakes.

405
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,041
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

406
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:37,421
What is going on?

407
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:40,384
I haven't seen this look on your face
since Mom let you buy a motorcycle.

408
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,217
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.

409
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,661
I saw it in the mail this morning
and I just had to open it.

410
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,723
UCONN, you got in, full ride.

411
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,225
I know, you think you got in
because I teach there.

412
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,870
Dad, you teach a continued ed
night class, two Wednesdays a month.

413
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,855
I don't think
that had anything to do with...

414
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,983
Look, I'm sorry, I just...

415
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,610
I haven't worked my ass off
for the past three and a half years

416
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,945
to go to a public college, Dad.

417
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:06,783
Look, I gotta get to work.

418
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:10,454
I don't know how you managed it,
but you ruined pancakes.

419
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,164
That's impressive.

420
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:37,022
Dear Office of Admissions,

421
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:42,235
My name is Brooks Rattigan

422
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,946
of House Wreck.

423
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:55,624
Murph, you Prince of Connecticut,
you King of Reddit.

424
00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:08,470
And of course, the whole abstract
expressionist movement

425
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,514
really gained notoriety
from Jackson Pollock,

426
00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:13,558
whose, you know,
influence is clearly present here.

427
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:15,310
Hmm.

428
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,374
Suck it, Bill and Claire!

429
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,172
So, sports, right?

430
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,258
Isn't it interesting how many there are?

431
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:50,470
And how some use balls and some... don't?

432
00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,722
And pucks. There's pucks.

433
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,183
Okay, I'm terrible at this.

434
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,519
I should just never go on a real date,
ever.

435
00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,354
No, no, no, no, you're doing great.

436
00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:12,492
This is one small step for man.

437
00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:19,082
Talk about what you want to talk about,
not what you think I want to talk about.

438
00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:21,084
Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

439
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,170
So, what do you want to talk about?

440
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:28,425
Um, well, this morning I did see
a very large man walking a very tiny dog.

441
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:30,260
Oh, my God, I...

442
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,138
- I love it when that happens.
- Me too.

443
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:57,545
Howdy.

444
00:24:58,371 --> 00:24:59,371
Hola.

445
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,790
Hey.

446
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,360
Brooks.

447
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:29,778
Look, I'm not good at apologies,

448
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:31,905
but I feel I owe you one,
because you're a gentleman

449
00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:33,281
and pretty fun to be around.

450
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:38,326
You were just doing your job, but you were pretty smug too,
so it shouldn't be a whole apology, but a half apology,

451
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,205
so I'm half sorry, is that cool?

452
00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:41,623
Yeah, I'm sorry, who's this?

453
00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:44,751
Oh, Jeez, sorry, it's Celia.
So do you accept my half apology or not?

454
00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:48,004
Well, you are half forgiven,
but fully admired for the effort.

455
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:48,922
<i>Well, good,</i>

456
00:25:49,005 --> 00:25:51,341
because I'm in desperate need
of your services.

457
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:53,635
<i>Oh, God, what's your mom making you go to
this time?</i>

458
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,805
Is it a débutante ball? Ice cream social?
Wait, let me guess.

459
00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:58,473
Is it a horse auction?

460
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,725
Aha. No, yeah, that's pretty accurate.

461
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:03,061
No, there's this boy I like, Franklin.

462
00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:04,396
Hold on, Celia,

463
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:05,729
you have a crush?

464
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:07,983
Is that so hard to believe?

465
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:11,236
Yes, it is. That's why you're hearing
disbelief in my tone.

466
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:13,738
Just because I'm a little weird,
doesn't make me less human,

467
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,282
in fact, it makes me more human.

468
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,534
<i>So, there's this party
at Shelby's house tonight...</i>

469
00:26:17,617 --> 00:26:19,411
Yes. Oh, my God, yes.

470
00:26:19,494 --> 00:26:22,122
<i>- A hundred times, yes.</i>
- Whoa, reel it in there, cowboy.

471
00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:23,039
<i>I mean...</i>

472
00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:25,333
I barely wanna go.

473
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,086
<i>Yeah, so I'm thinking, listen,
we show up as a hot couple,</i>

474
00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:30,130
get Franklin a little jealous,

475
00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:33,049
maybe you can stir up some attention
from Shelby.

476
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,593
<i>So, pick me up at seven.</i>

477
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:35,719
It's a date.

478
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:39,055
And Celia, next time
you require my services,

479
00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:41,016
could you use my app?

480
00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:42,309
Oh, my God, you didn't?

481
00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,894
Oh, but I did.

482
00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:55,363
Okay, this is way more than
a mints and tiny bottles of water.

483
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,365
This is a full-on bespoke
concierge service.

484
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:58,450
Yes, ma'am.

485
00:26:58,533 --> 00:27:01,995
Okay, so what's the weirdest
Brooks Rattigan you've been thus far?

486
00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:05,040
I had a date the other night, where
I had to just sit on this girl's couch

487
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,500
and listen to her talk for four hours
straight,

488
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:11,546
and all I was allowed to say was,
"Yes, I agree,"

489
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,506
and "There's no other way to see it."

490
00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:16,310
- My God, that is the perfect date.
- There's no other way to see it.

491
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:19,596
Hey, thank you.

492
00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:22,807
Son, a couple of things.
The shifter sticks a little bit,

493
00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:25,811
and the passenger window doesn't close
all the way, so watch out for that.

494
00:27:25,852 --> 00:27:29,648
And there's a spring in the seat cushion,
so do not lean all the way back.

495
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:35,612
Wow. What, does Bruce Wayne live here?

496
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:38,239
You know, Shelby's dad's basically Batman,

497
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,492
if Bruce Wayne was
a sleazy hedge fund manager

498
00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:42,285
with a questionable sense of finance law.

499
00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:55,130
Excuse me.

500
00:27:56,424 --> 00:27:57,424
You guys made it.

501
00:27:57,926 --> 00:27:59,010
Hey.

502
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:02,222
- Uh, your place is amazing.
- Oh, thank you.

503
00:28:02,305 --> 00:28:03,905
It really makes me reconsider the allure

504
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:06,226
of living in a three-room house
with a view of Target.

505
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:11,231
Oh, he's kidding, obviously.
Brooks is from Darien.

506
00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:13,108
Oh, my God, I love it there.

507
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:15,068
It's just so beautiful,

508
00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:17,612
it makes this neighborhood
look like a shanty town.

509
00:28:18,446 --> 00:28:21,199
Could you excuse me for one moment?

510
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,243
It seems the family dog escaped his room.

511
00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:24,326
Don't go anywhere.

512
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,995
I wouldn't want to get lost.

513
00:28:26,913 --> 00:28:27,913
- Dad.
- What?

514
00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:30,208
I'm in trouble.

515
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:32,502
Darien? Really?

516
00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,922
Hey, this is Shelby Pace we're trying
to impress here.

517
00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:38,133
Either go big or go home, son.

518
00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:43,471
Oh, my God, that's Franklin.
Abort, let's go.

519
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,306
This is the whole reason that we're here.

520
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,059
I know, but I just didn't expect
to see him so soon,

521
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:51,354
I thought I'd have some time to,
I don't know, like clutch my bearings.

522
00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:53,189
Relax. Okay, which one is he?

523
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:56,526
- Is he the guy in the yellow shirt?
- Yes, stop being so obvious.

524
00:28:56,609 --> 00:28:58,319
- He's cute.
- Stop it.

525
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,071
Pretend to have a conversation with me.

526
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:07,871
We could also have a real conversation,
that might be way less weird.

527
00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:09,497
Fine, whatever, you start.

528
00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:10,622
Um...

529
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,876
Where are you planning
on going to college?

530
00:29:12,959 --> 00:29:14,753
Uh, University of Michigan.

531
00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:17,556
Wait, you're not going Ivy League?
Isn't that, like, your birthright?

532
00:29:17,630 --> 00:29:19,257
Please, you see this?

533
00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:20,175
Uh-huh.

534
00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:23,470
This is the precise number of shits I give
about the Ivy League.

535
00:29:23,803 --> 00:29:25,764
Well, I give many more shits than that.

536
00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,642
You know, if you want to go talk to him,

537
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:31,102
you should just go talk to him.

538
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:33,521
I know, I'm working up to it.

539
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:36,608
- This is ridiculous, come on.
- Stop it.

540
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:38,693
You're making it worse by making a scene.

541
00:29:39,152 --> 00:29:42,280
- You are such a brute.
- It's one of my more likable qualities.

542
00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:45,116
Have you seen this collection?
She is a music fiend,

543
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,785
always going on and on about bands.

544
00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:51,948
Bands that I've never heard of, so you know they're cool, right?
Not in like a mainstream way cool, more like a subversive.

545
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,333
Tell him.

546
00:29:54,709 --> 00:29:56,836
I like music and records.

547
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:00,340
Me too. I mean, vinyl
is the only pure delivery method, right?

548
00:30:02,675 --> 00:30:05,470
Yeah, I'm always saying that.

549
00:30:06,012 --> 00:30:08,765
Music should only be listened to

550
00:30:08,848 --> 00:30:11,935
on melted and then pressed vinyl discs.

551
00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:15,021
There are kids our age, they've never even
heard a vinyl record before.

552
00:30:15,104 --> 00:30:17,357
They don't know
what they're missing,

553
00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:19,484
or worse,

554
00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:20,568
they do.

555
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:28,757
You know your girlfriend is over there
talking to Franklin Volley?

556
00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:31,663
Everything is so compressed on digital,
it's like drinking a frozen OJ

557
00:30:31,746 --> 00:30:33,331
instead of a fresh-squeezed OJ.

558
00:30:34,290 --> 00:30:38,127
Yeah, it's okay, we trust each other.
I'm not really the jealous type.

559
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:41,297
- How refreshing.
- Well, I aim to refresh.

560
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:46,135
- You're funny.
- Me?

561
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:49,138
Most guys I know don't realize
they can be both rich and funny.

562
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:51,766
Well, you can, I'm obviously living proof.

563
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:00,566
Hey.

564
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:03,278
They have a separate freezer
for ice cream.

565
00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:05,321
I was alone in the kitchen
and started to applaud.

566
00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:09,409
- Mm.
- So, we have Boom Chocolotta

567
00:31:09,492 --> 00:31:10,702
and plain old vanilla.

568
00:31:10,785 --> 00:31:11,785
Oh, thank you.

569
00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:14,455
- Really?
- Yo.

570
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:16,708
Don't knock vanilla, okay? It's a...

571
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,085
It seems a little boring, I give you that,

572
00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:21,671
but there's a lot of nuance flavors
hiding inside.

573
00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:23,298
- Hm.
- Mm.

574
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,424
Kind of like you.

575
00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:28,386
- Wow, so I'm vanilla.
- Yeah.

576
00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:31,639
Somehow you always manage to compliment
and insult me at the same time.

577
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,058
It's a hereditary gift, on my mom's side.

578
00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:36,727
Where's Franklin?

579
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,273
Oh, he's somewhere.
I don't really wanna see that much of him.

580
00:31:40,356 --> 00:31:44,776
- What? - Before our date.
What? Franklin asked you out? That's great.

581
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,362
No, actually, I asked him out,

582
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:49,866
because I am the master of my universe,
and yeah, it's pretty great.

583
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:59,162
Oh, separate but related, it gives us a pretty good reason for our breakup.
- I see your game, you meet someone new. - Hit it and quit it, baby.

584
00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:03,171
Okay, there's this huge birthday party
that's supposed to happen in a few weeks,

585
00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:05,632
and everyone's gonna be there,
including your girl, Shelby.

586
00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:09,552
Just the breakup has to be public,
like very public.

587
00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:12,138
Can you imagine if I date Shelby
and get into Yale?

588
00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:14,766
I mean, that would be it,
that would be my dream come true.

589
00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:16,017
Oh, God, I feel bad for you.

590
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:18,978
You're just relying on external factors
for your happiness,

591
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:22,315
waiting for people to accept you
instead of accepting yourself.

592
00:32:22,398 --> 00:32:23,983
I mean, what could go wrong?

593
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,653
Isn't that exactly
what you're doing with Franklin?

594
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:30,406
- You're just jealous.
- Of what?

595
00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:34,702
Um, my connection with Franklin.
It's more cerebral.

596
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:35,786
Please.

597
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,623
Like you're not at all interested in him
'cause he's hot.

598
00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:40,375
Whoa, his brain is hot, okay?

599
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:43,252
I can just picture his gorgeous
frontal lobe.

600
00:32:46,464 --> 00:32:48,925
- Gross.
- Yeah, that was unintentionally gross.

601
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:53,805
Fine, I like him because of his brains
and, you know,

602
00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:55,528
the beautiful face that's attached to it.

603
00:32:55,556 --> 00:32:57,850
There you go,
so we're both shallow teenagers.

604
00:32:57,934 --> 00:32:59,018
It would appear so.

605
00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:01,270
- You're really sweet.
- Yeah.

606
00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,898
- Can I have some of that, please?
- Whoa! No! No way.

607
00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:11,906
So, I might be able to help.
My dad knows the president.

608
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:14,117
- Of what country?
- Of Yale.

609
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,619
Um, they've been playing poker,
like forever,

610
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:19,330
and I guess my dad's been losing to him
for ten years,

611
00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:20,665
in case I ever wanted to go.

612
00:33:20,748 --> 00:33:22,959
So, the fact I don't wanna go
is kind of a sore point.

613
00:33:23,042 --> 00:33:24,922
I don't get it,
rich people all know each other.

614
00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:27,815
- I don't even know who my barber is.
- Okay, do you want my help or not?

615
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,048
Yes. A hundred times, yes.

616
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,509
Well, no promises,
but I can check with him.

617
00:33:32,051 --> 00:33:33,761
What? Are you serious? Wow.

618
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:37,098
Thank you. All I got for you is wow.

619
00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:38,683
Well, I'm a woman of much wow.

620
00:33:38,766 --> 00:33:41,227
Hey, man,
I'll give you 50 bucks for your car.

621
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,232
- Oh, you think that's funny?
- Yeah, I do.

622
00:33:49,068 --> 00:33:50,445
- Hey.
- Hey.

623
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:51,529
Whoa.

624
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:52,864
What's with the get-up?

625
00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:57,368
Uh, I figured if I'm going to Yale,
I'd better start stepping it up.

626
00:33:57,452 --> 00:34:00,246
Hey, what's going on
with all the late nights lately?

627
00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:05,877
Uh, you know, the usual teenage stuff,
school projects, dances, 24-hour raves.

628
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,545
Hm. Atta boy.

629
00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:10,923
Do you think you could clean up one day?
I mean, it's starting to look a little...

630
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,134
condemned in here.

631
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:14,385
I'm gonna get to it.

632
00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:16,262
I could help you, if you want.

633
00:34:16,345 --> 00:34:17,388
I think I do.

634
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,099
And actually, you have helped.

635
00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:22,810
I submitted a collection
of my short stories of this fellowship,

636
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,938
because you were
so terribly and vividly mean to me.

637
00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:28,608
So, thank you for being a supportive

638
00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:30,109
asshole.

639
00:34:31,110 --> 00:34:32,110
Anytime.

640
00:34:33,988 --> 00:34:35,698
- Good night, Pops.
- Good night, buddy.

641
00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:46,501
Hey, look, little Brooks is almost
a third of the way to his goal.

642
00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:50,129
If I keep getting business like this, I'm
gonna be at little Yale by the summertime.

643
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,673
That's great, man. Really.

644
00:34:53,299 --> 00:34:54,383
What is that? What...

645
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,344
You seem distant.

646
00:34:57,053 --> 00:34:59,722
Well, I guess I am.

647
00:35:00,306 --> 00:35:03,726
We just usually have stuff to talk about,
because we spend time together,

648
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,186
or we used to.

649
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:08,856
So, distance is making us distant,
which makes sense to me.

650
00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:11,608
Huh.

651
00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:14,570
But it's fine, really. We're gonna grow
apart when we go to college,

652
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:16,697
so we might as well
get the process started now.

653
00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:19,449
Okay, well,

654
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:20,701
how about this?

655
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,537
I'm totally
booked out tonight and tomorrow,

656
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:25,957
but I am completely free on Saturday
and I will make sure it stays that way,

657
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,917
if you promise to go to Tino's with me.

658
00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:30,001
Count me in.

659
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,103
Oh, hey, can we hit that new
zombie-themed escape room afterwards?

660
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,257
Yes, I am in.

661
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:35,340
All right.

662
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:37,300
Hello again.

663
00:35:37,343 --> 00:35:40,054
- Hey, I'll take a...
- Tuna melt on seven grain.

664
00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:40,972
Yeah.

665
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:44,350
- Uh, thanks.
- Murph is my given name.

666
00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,936
Oh, I guess I gotta give you this.

667
00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:49,564
I just remembered that
this is when you usually come by.

668
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:52,441
- Yeah.
- We get paid a dollar above minimum wage,

669
00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:55,111
so we're encouraged
to provide top service.

670
00:35:55,194 --> 00:35:58,489
Uh, well, thanks, Murph.

671
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,871
- What?
- You were blushing.

672
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:06,998
Who is that? Huh?

673
00:36:07,081 --> 00:36:09,917
Hey, yo, I work at White Castle, okay?
You know what that means,

674
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:12,461
I see some of the finest bitches
in the world every damn day,

675
00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:17,049
and, Pops, I gotta tell you
with the utmost respect,

676
00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:18,508
your daughter,

677
00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:22,597
she's got to be one of the finest bitches
I have ever seen in my entire life,

678
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,309
and I've been to the Westminster Dog Show,
okay? All right.

679
00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,408
I have to take the browns
to the Super Bowl,

680
00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,775
and by that I mean
I gotta take a hot deuce, right?

681
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,402
Daddy-o, where the bathroom at?

682
00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:38,738
It's down the hall on the left.

683
00:36:38,821 --> 00:36:39,821
Ooph.

684
00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:42,700
I love you, baby.

685
00:36:47,121 --> 00:36:48,206
Hey, Celia.

686
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,166
<i>What's up, Vanilla? What are you up to?</i>

687
00:36:50,249 --> 00:36:52,877
I'm getting paid to be a douche
to a girl's parents,

688
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,106
so that they're more accepting of her real
boyfriend when they actually meet him.

689
00:36:56,130 --> 00:36:58,090
<i>Um, parents have it hard.</i>

690
00:36:58,674 --> 00:37:00,927
<i>What are you doing tomorrow?
Like early afternoonish?</i>

691
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:04,096
What, for my best customer?
I'm totally free. Why, what's up?

692
00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:05,681
<i>I may have got you an interview</i>

693
00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:08,476
<i>with the Dean
of Undergraduate Admissions at Yale.</i>

694
00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:10,394
Oh, my God, Celia,
I don't know what to say.

695
00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:11,729
<i>Well, why don't you try?</i>

696
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:15,191
Celia Lieberman, you make flowers blossom.

697
00:37:15,274 --> 00:37:17,985
You are the reason trees have leaves.

698
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:20,321
You are a goddess.

699
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:23,241
<i>Aw! That is absolutely correct.</i>

700
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:25,785
- What time should I pick you up?
<i>- You shouldn't.</i>

701
00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:28,704
<i>This is your day, but it's my rules,
so I'm gonna pick you up at one.</i>

702
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:31,082
I'll text you my address.

703
00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:32,750
<i>Bye.</i>

704
00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:48,683
Woo hoo! Yo, man, that number two
turned to a number five real quick.

705
00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:49,976
Where the plunger at?

706
00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:02,989
What? I'm trying to look smart.
Do I look too smart?

707
00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:05,783
It looks like someone
took a J. Crew store,

708
00:38:05,866 --> 00:38:07,952
put it in a cannon
and shot it at your face.

709
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:10,162
Thank you, so much.
I mean, what do I do?

710
00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:11,330
I don't understand clothes.

711
00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,499
They're completely irrelevant
yet somehow important.

712
00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:14,709
Lose the glasses.

713
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:16,919
Go on, give it to me.
Okay, that's better.

714
00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:19,643
Do you need the cardigan?
I'm gonna answer that. You don't need it.

715
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:21,314
- I like the cardigan.
- No one likes it.

716
00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:24,552
- Intellectual people wear cardigans.
- You do not look intellectual.

717
00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:26,345
For the love of God, come on.

718
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:30,641
Oh, you know, what you do need though,
you need a mani.

719
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:33,060
That is a fight for another day,
my friend.

720
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,564
Wow, who would have thought that
Celia Lieberman could be so comforting?

721
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:39,900
It's like underneath all these layers
of angst and sarcasm,

722
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,902
there might actually be a human being.

723
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,323
Oh.

724
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:49,451
Thank you.

725
00:38:52,204 --> 00:38:53,204
You're welcome.

726
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:41,337
Hey, relax.

727
00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:43,089
All you gotta do is be yourself.

728
00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:47,218
I mean, not this annoying,
anxious version,

729
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:48,760
the better version.

730
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:55,059
I have been an astronaut, a cowboy
and a douche, all in the past three days,

731
00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:57,937
so I don't know which version of myself
I'm supposed to be right now.

732
00:39:58,020 --> 00:39:59,020
Brooks Rattigan.

733
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,023
Dean's ready for you now.

734
00:40:04,985 --> 00:40:05,985
- Hi.
- Hi.

735
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:07,655
- Hey.
- Yeah?

736
00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:09,448
You're gonna kill it.

737
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:11,699
You know,

738
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:13,411
unless you don't.

739
00:40:21,627 --> 00:40:23,421
Mr. Rattigan, a pleasure to meet you.

740
00:40:23,504 --> 00:40:25,214
- Take a seat.
- Yes, sure.

741
00:40:26,882 --> 00:40:30,594
So, tell me about yourself.

742
00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:32,304
Yeah, I'd love to.

743
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:35,141
What says more about a person
than numbers, right?

744
00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:38,227
So, the first time I took the SAT
I got a 1510,

745
00:40:38,310 --> 00:40:40,980
and that was because I butchered
the math section, but

746
00:40:41,063 --> 00:40:44,108
I knuckled down,
and I put work over parties,

747
00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:47,903
and I managed to bump it up to a 1570
on my second time around.

748
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:51,564
- That's too bad.
- I'm sorry?

749
00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:55,286
Well, that you missed out on parties.
Parties are fun.

750
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,789
It's important to enjoy life,
especially at your age.

751
00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:03,502
With respect, it's not exactly the message
that we get from our parents and teachers.

752
00:41:03,586 --> 00:41:05,045
I grant you that, yeah.

753
00:41:05,921 --> 00:41:06,921
Well...

754
00:41:07,047 --> 00:41:10,634
Mr. Rattigan, academically speaking, you
seem like the perfect candidate for Yale.

755
00:41:11,177 --> 00:41:13,097
Thank you, sir.
Coming from you that means a lot.

756
00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:15,890
But I want to know
a little something about you.

757
00:41:15,973 --> 00:41:18,601
Tell me something about yourself,
activities, hobbies.

758
00:41:18,684 --> 00:41:22,855
Sure, well I'm in French Club,
I'm a National Honors Society, and...

759
00:41:22,938 --> 00:41:23,938
No.

760
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,692
No, I don't mean the things that you do,

761
00:41:26,775 --> 00:41:28,986
because you think they look good
on an application.

762
00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:32,239
What are some of your interests
outside of school?

763
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,866
Outside of school?

764
00:41:33,949 --> 00:41:37,536
Example, I had a kid in here yesterday,
right there,

765
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,499
and he breeds trash-eating microbes
in his spare time.

766
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:43,834
It's fascinating stuff.

767
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:48,380
I don't... breed trash-eating microbes.

768
00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:52,051
I don't really breed microbes at all,
but I do have hobbies,

769
00:41:52,218 --> 00:41:55,095
and interests. I mean, so many of those.

770
00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:03,145
There is this thing,
but I think you'll find it stupid.

771
00:42:03,229 --> 00:42:04,897
No, what? What is it?

772
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:06,982
Well lately, I've been getting into

773
00:42:08,609 --> 00:42:09,860
honey bees.

774
00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:12,196
I don't...

775
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:13,989
I'm sorry,

776
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,534
did you just say, "Honey bees?"

777
00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:17,535
Yeah.

778
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:20,120
Yeah, I'm a bit of an amateur beekeeper.

779
00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:23,749
- I know, it sounds silly.
- No, it doesn't sound silly at all, to me.

780
00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:26,919
I'm a bit of an apiarist myself.

781
00:42:27,503 --> 00:42:30,005
- No kidding.
- Yes.

782
00:42:30,589 --> 00:42:32,633
Wow, what a small world.

783
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:34,367
Tell me, what's your bee of choice?

784
00:42:34,426 --> 00:42:36,053
I used to be all about the Russian bees,

785
00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:40,099
but then I found that their swarminess
tended to be a little too...

786
00:42:40,182 --> 00:42:41,183
Unpredictable.

787
00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:44,562
Unpredictable, that's right.
So, now I'm a Buckfast man all the way.

788
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:47,398
- They have so much more foraging zeal.
- Yes.

789
00:42:47,940 --> 00:42:53,696
Uh, and, you know, don't get me started
on their resistance to tracheal mites.

790
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:55,864
Huh.

791
00:42:56,198 --> 00:42:57,658
Tracheal mites.

792
00:42:58,784 --> 00:43:01,944
As soon as you get that application done,
you bring it into me personally, okay?

793
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:03,414
- Not my secretary.
- I will, sir.

794
00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,207
- Sir, call me Delbert, please.
- Okay.

795
00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:07,876
And when you come by,
don't forget to bring a jar of your honey.

796
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,280
As long as you bring a jar of your honey,
we can have ourselves a little honey swap.

797
00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:13,007
Honey swap.

798
00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:14,300
I love it.

799
00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:17,219
It was a pleasure meeting you,
Mr. Rattigan, truly.

800
00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:18,887
The pleasure was mine, Delbert.

801
00:43:24,518 --> 00:43:28,314
Thank you so much for setting this up. It
went better than I could have imagined it.

802
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:30,232
Well, happy to help. Just...

803
00:43:30,899 --> 00:43:32,860
just one little tiny question.

804
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:36,030
Why exactly are you guys swapping honey?

805
00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:39,366
What, is that unusual?

806
00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:41,576
I can't believe you.

807
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,662
What? I did some research
before my interview, okay?

808
00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:47,017
Hold on a second. What is the difference
between me spouting a few beekeeping facts

809
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,710
and any of the Stand-In dates
that I've been on? Huh?

810
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:52,463
You know that I'm not an art historian
or a douche, right?

811
00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:55,883
No, actually I don't know that,
and this is completely different.

812
00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:59,386
Those girls paid you to lie to them,
and this time you did it all on your own.

813
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:02,056
Look, it is hustle, baby, pure hustle.

814
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,819
Oh, God, please don't ever say that again.

815
00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:06,602
It did sound a little bit better
coming out of Reece's mouth.

816
00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:09,647
Wait, Reece? My cousin, Reece?
What does he know about hustle?

817
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:10,898
It's how he got his BMW.

818
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:13,984
Brooks, Reece got his car
because his dad started having an affair

819
00:44:14,068 --> 00:44:16,820
with his sister's JV tennis coach,
and his mom found out about it,

820
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:19,784
so she starts sleeping with the dude
who owns a bunch of BMW dealerships,

821
00:44:19,823 --> 00:44:21,533
hence the BMW.

822
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,620
- What, so no hustle?
- No.

823
00:44:24,703 --> 00:44:25,954
You're telling me

824
00:44:26,288 --> 00:44:29,041
that Reece got a brand new BMW i8,
because

825
00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:31,460
his parents are shitty people?

826
00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:34,672
Yeah. So, maybe you should rethink
who your role models are.

827
00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:40,344
- What about Shelby and Franklin?
- What about Shelby and Franklin?

828
00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:43,847
You don't know the first thing about
vinyl, and I am certainly not from Darien.

829
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:48,352
Okay? These are the lies that both of us
made up to get what we want.

830
00:44:52,648 --> 00:44:53,732
Hmm.

831
00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:58,612
Storming off, fantastic. That's what
people who're right and not hypocrites do.

832
00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,781
Speak more words and I'll hurt you.

833
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:14,837
- Maybe you're right.
- About which thing? There were a couple.

834
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,005
Maybe I am a hypocrite, okay?

835
00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:22,761
My parents say that I stomp around

836
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:24,596
in my boots looking tough...

837
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,349
to push people away,

838
00:45:28,016 --> 00:45:29,017
because

839
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:34,356
I'm too scared to show people
who I really am.

840
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:40,904
Oh, God, if anyone actually heard me
saying this.

841
00:45:45,325 --> 00:45:48,120
- Yeah, you know what I mean.
- You're gonna be fine, okay?

842
00:45:48,203 --> 00:45:49,872
You are Celia Lieberman.

843
00:45:49,955 --> 00:45:53,751
And being weird and confident are not
mutually exclusive elements to life.

844
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:55,586
You happen to be a master of both of them.

845
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,297
- Do you really mean that?
- Yes.

846
00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:02,593
- Thanks.
- You are welcome.

847
00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:06,805
So, I can Brooks' house
from across the street,

848
00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:09,349
and sitting beside the outgoing mailbox,

849
00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:11,351
there's this big flimsy cardboard box,

850
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:16,023
with like 20 postage stamps stuck to it
and just one word written across the top,

851
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,149
Idaho.

852
00:46:17,232 --> 00:46:20,736
So, the mailman picks it up,
and immediately the box gives out,

853
00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:24,239
and little six-year-old Brooks
slips out the bottom,

854
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:25,866
and hits the pavement like, "Bam!"

855
00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:29,203
I'm hiding across the street
watching it all, like...

856
00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:34,374
- Just laughing my ass off.
- Okay, wait, so what did you do?

857
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:37,628
I mean the only thing that I could do is
"Good afternoon, Mr. Postman,"

858
00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:40,047
and I grabbed my backpack
and went back inside my house.

859
00:46:40,672 --> 00:46:43,467
I can't believe you tried
to mail yourself to Idaho.

860
00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:45,928
- Thanks, Brooks.
- Thank you so much. I got this.

861
00:46:46,011 --> 00:46:47,429
- Thank you.
- Yeah, of course.

862
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:49,431
- Nice guy.
- Fancy man.

863
00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:54,770
Okay, so of all places, why Idaho?

864
00:46:55,854 --> 00:46:57,439
It's where his mom lives.

865
00:46:57,523 --> 00:47:00,901
Yeah, she's married
to some rich pediatrician

866
00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:04,655
or rich plastic surgeon,
rich pediatric plastic surgeon.

867
00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:07,074
And they have two kids together

868
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:10,953
and every year they send Brooks
and his dad a Christmas card

869
00:47:11,578 --> 00:47:13,956
with a picture of her whole new family.

870
00:47:14,873 --> 00:47:17,125
You know, which to me,
seems totally screwed up.

871
00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:25,384
See you, Tino!

872
00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:26,509
Tino!

873
00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:33,475
- Was that tuna melt on seven grain?
- If only.

874
00:47:33,767 --> 00:47:37,187
- Uh? Tuna melt on seven grain?
- It's nothing.

875
00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:40,816
Murph here has a little crush
on one of the Sub shop regulars.

876
00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:42,943
We don't know his name,
so we call him by his order.

877
00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:44,570
He hasn't been in the shop for a week.

878
00:47:44,653 --> 00:47:47,322
I think I scared him off
by pre-making his sandwich.

879
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:49,324
Aw, you pre-made his sandwich?

880
00:47:49,408 --> 00:47:51,785
- That is adorable.
- Listen, you're gonna be fine.

881
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,370
He'll show up, and if not,

882
00:47:53,620 --> 00:47:54,788
who cares, right?

883
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:58,834
You are going to find the right sandwich
one day, my friend.

884
00:47:58,917 --> 00:48:00,627
That is the lamest thing you've ever said.

885
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:03,755
- Yeah, but you're laughing, aren't you?
- Get away from me, get away.

886
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:06,341
I'm glad someone's getting
something out of my dating life.

887
00:48:06,425 --> 00:48:07,425
Yeah.

888
00:48:08,343 --> 00:48:12,389
All right, Godspeed
to you on your date tonight.

889
00:48:13,515 --> 00:48:14,515
Are you ready to

890
00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:16,226
get some zombies?

891
00:48:17,936 --> 00:48:18,936
I am.

892
00:48:20,689 --> 00:48:22,190
But you seem unenthusiastic.

893
00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:25,444
No, man. I got a request
while we were eating.

894
00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:26,361
Take it.

895
00:48:26,445 --> 00:48:27,613
What? Are you serious?

896
00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:28,696
Really.

897
00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:31,533
All right, thank you.
You're a really good friend.

898
00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,118
Hey, good to meet you.

899
00:48:33,201 --> 00:48:34,286
Yeah, you too.

900
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,587
- It was what?
- It was, it was…

901
00:48:50,218 --> 00:48:52,638
- Your insurance must be so high.
- Yeah.

902
00:48:55,474 --> 00:48:56,475
You know what?

903
00:48:56,558 --> 00:48:59,728
Does the master have any advice for me,
for my big date?

904
00:48:59,811 --> 00:49:02,851
Yeah, I do actually.
- Good. - Don't dance.

905
00:49:03,523 --> 00:49:07,527
- That is so offensive. Get out of my car.
- I was just trying to help you.

906
00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:09,655
You know, today was horrible

907
00:49:10,447 --> 00:49:11,531
until it wasn't.

908
00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:13,824
I agree.

909
00:49:15,035 --> 00:49:19,039
Do me a favor, would you have fun tonight?
Seriously, you're gonna dazzle him.

910
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:22,376
Unless you don't.

911
00:49:23,126 --> 00:49:24,878
Get out of my car.

912
00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:27,214
- I will drive off.
- Okay.

913
00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,758
- Right now.
- I'm out. Have a good night.

914
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,580
<i>The truth about coffee,</i>

915
00:49:35,722 --> 00:49:37,099
it's all in the grind.

916
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:40,268
It has to be precise or the water,

917
00:49:40,352 --> 00:49:43,772
it seeps through the filter too quickly,
and you end up with a weak-ass brew.

918
00:49:45,065 --> 00:49:47,734
Wow, you know a lot about coffee.

919
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:49,695
Pour Over is an art form.

920
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:52,197
It's not like that overly processed
swill you've got.

921
00:49:53,198 --> 00:49:56,118
I don't know,
I kind of like my overly processed swill.

922
00:49:56,535 --> 00:49:57,744
I'm sorry.

923
00:49:59,454 --> 00:50:02,082
I didn't mean to insult you.
I ramble when I'm nervous.

924
00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:04,543
Wait, did you just say you're nervous?

925
00:50:04,626 --> 00:50:06,169
- Of course I am.
- Why?

926
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:10,007
I don't know if this is a date or not,
because you have a boyfriend.

927
00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:11,758
Oh, Brooks is not...

928
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:15,512
Um, he is my boyfriend,
and we are dating hard.

929
00:50:15,595 --> 00:50:18,724
We're dating hard,
but, you know, we have, um,

930
00:50:20,058 --> 00:50:23,895
one of those advanced modern
relationships.

931
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:25,564
We don't belong to anyone.

932
00:50:25,647 --> 00:50:28,191
I watched this <i>Nat Geo</i> doc
about dung beetles,

933
00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:32,070
how they find their mates by analyzing the
movements of a prospective mate's wings,

934
00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:36,992
and if they move in the same specific way,
they know they found their mate.

935
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,912
Watching you and Brooks,
you move the same,

936
00:50:41,246 --> 00:50:43,582
like a couple of adorable dung beetles.

937
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:47,168
Well,

938
00:50:48,086 --> 00:50:50,464
we're not shit-eating beetles, though.

939
00:50:52,299 --> 00:50:55,969
We're actually gonna be breaking up
very soon. In fact, very soon.

940
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:57,095
- Okay.
- Um-hmm.

941
00:50:57,929 --> 00:50:59,056
So, I'm encouraged.

942
00:50:59,973 --> 00:51:01,892
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.

943
00:51:03,226 --> 00:51:06,146
So, you're into vinyl,

944
00:51:07,105 --> 00:51:09,816
and you're obviously very passionate
about coffee.

945
00:51:10,108 --> 00:51:11,401
What else are you into?

946
00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:15,530
I'm passionate about a lot of things,
most of all, my art.

947
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:18,033
That's cool, I like art.

948
00:51:18,116 --> 00:51:20,285
- What's your medium?
- The street.

949
00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:22,454
No.

950
00:51:22,537 --> 00:51:26,208
Actually, you may have seen some
of my stuff, like, around town.

951
00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:28,042
What?

952
00:51:30,462 --> 00:51:31,671
- Oh.
- I'm...

953
00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:32,755
Don't say it.

954
00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:34,508
I'm Trashbug.

955
00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:36,927
You said it.

956
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:39,054
You said who you are.

957
00:51:39,137 --> 00:51:40,806
- Are you familiar with my work?
- Uh-huh.

958
00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:43,558
Okay, you know how I did like
a baby in a gas mask,

959
00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:45,477
and I did like an old man in gas mask.

960
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,478
Oh, yeah.

961
00:51:46,561 --> 00:51:50,148
Right now, I'm working on something
that is going to blow those away.

962
00:51:50,857 --> 00:51:52,442
A cat in a gas mask.

963
00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:57,531
It's a commentary on itself and on
Dr. Seuss. I mean, cats don't wear hats.

964
00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:00,117
That is

965
00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:03,578
a very creative idea.

966
00:52:14,172 --> 00:52:15,090
Dude,

967
00:52:15,173 --> 00:52:18,343
Saturday night was insane. I just can't
tell if it was in a good or bad way.

968
00:52:18,426 --> 00:52:22,597
You think high school parties are crazy,
they have got nothing on office parties.

969
00:52:22,681 --> 00:52:25,350
I saw a drunk guy snort a line
of printer toner.

970
00:52:28,103 --> 00:52:30,188
Thanks again for letting me off the hook.

971
00:52:31,565 --> 00:52:34,276
Wow, what a great image of our friendship.

972
00:52:34,359 --> 00:52:35,735
I'm a fisherman,

973
00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:38,238
reeling you in against your will
to your death.

974
00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:40,782
That's not how I meant it.
How was your night?

975
00:52:40,866 --> 00:52:44,536
I was alone, so I got paired with
this group of drunk Germans.

976
00:52:44,619 --> 00:52:46,454
They didn't speak a word of English,

977
00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:49,583
so I wasn't included in any of the puzzle
solving, and to top if all off,

978
00:52:49,666 --> 00:52:52,002
a zombie,
it got me in like the first ten minutes.

979
00:52:52,419 --> 00:52:54,880
- The zombie actually bit you?
- No.

980
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:56,882
One of the Germans did.

981
00:53:01,636 --> 00:53:04,306
It's not funny, sorry, just...

982
00:53:06,641 --> 00:53:09,686
It is a little funny.
It's funny, if you think it's funny too.

983
00:53:09,769 --> 00:53:11,062
But only if you...

984
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:13,398
- It's funny. Come on.
- I gotta go to class.

985
00:53:13,481 --> 00:53:14,481
Murph.

986
00:53:17,527 --> 00:53:18,695
Murph.

987
00:53:23,825 --> 00:53:26,411
- Hey.
- No, you do not talk, I do the talking.

988
00:53:26,494 --> 00:53:27,329
Excuse me?

989
00:53:27,412 --> 00:53:28,412
<i>I trusted you,</i>

990
00:53:28,455 --> 00:53:31,625
Celia, and you chewed up that trust
and you spit it in my face.

991
00:53:31,708 --> 00:53:36,296
- Okay, what the hell is going on?
- I'm practicing for the big show.

992
00:53:36,379 --> 00:53:39,549
<i>- Come on, did you forget?</i>
- Oh, yeah, our breakup.

993
00:53:40,008 --> 00:53:44,095
So, I'm thinking that Shelby and Franklin
need to be there when it happens,

994
00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:45,472
so when we go off on our own,

995
00:53:45,555 --> 00:53:47,098
<i>they're gonna wanna console us.</i>

996
00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:50,310
Oh, shit, I almost forgot to ask you,
how did your date go?

997
00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:54,730
<i>Well,</i>

998
00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:56,900
it was the...

999
00:53:57,108 --> 00:53:59,027
start of something great.

1000
00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:00,153
<i>I, for one,</i>

1001
00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:01,780
am super happy for you.

1002
00:54:01,863 --> 00:54:03,823
I am also happy for me

1003
00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:05,157
too.

1004
00:54:05,533 --> 00:54:07,369
- Yay.
<i>- Okay.</i>

1005
00:54:07,452 --> 00:54:09,246
Dope, see ya.

1006
00:54:09,871 --> 00:54:11,122
Yeah, I'll see you later.

1007
00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:27,013
I don't know.

1008
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,181
You don't know what?

1009
00:54:29,182 --> 00:54:31,393
It doesn't really feel like me.

1010
00:54:32,769 --> 00:54:33,979
You look incredible.

1011
00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:53,706
- Hi.
- Hi.

1012
00:54:54,249 --> 00:54:55,417
- All set?
- Yeah.

1013
00:54:58,169 --> 00:54:59,169
Dressed to kill.

1014
00:55:02,173 --> 00:55:03,300
Nice.

1015
00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,760
You know, to kill our fake love.

1016
00:55:06,219 --> 00:55:07,419
Good, that's good.
Tight dress.

1017
00:55:11,474 --> 00:55:13,893
- High heels.
- Cool.

1018
00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:18,064
A live python around my neck.

1019
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:20,668
Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out
what I'm gonna say tonight.

1020
00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:22,193
You're writing a breakup script?

1021
00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,946
Not a breakup script,
more like breakup bullet points.

1022
00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:26,864
Oh, wow.

1023
00:55:27,657 --> 00:55:29,284
Celia, you look great.

1024
00:55:29,367 --> 00:55:30,367
Thanks.

1025
00:55:31,661 --> 00:55:32,579
Where's the snake?

1026
00:55:32,662 --> 00:55:33,662
Ha.

1027
00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:35,540
- What's the plan?
- Right.

1028
00:55:35,623 --> 00:55:37,751
Um, so I was thinking

1029
00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:39,961
<i>you're gonna go in first.</i>

1030
00:55:41,504 --> 00:55:44,090
<i>You walk around, mingle a bit,
do your thing.</i>

1031
00:55:45,633 --> 00:55:50,055
<i>Then, at exactly eight o'clock, you
strike up a conversation with Franklin.</i>

1032
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:53,224
<i>It'll play better if it seems
like I'm catching you in the act.</i>

1033
00:55:53,308 --> 00:55:56,686
You can put a gas mask on anything
and have a real impact on people,

1034
00:55:56,770 --> 00:55:59,356
like Thomas Jefferson, Mr. Rogers,

1035
00:56:00,106 --> 00:56:01,106
the Pope.

1036
00:56:01,649 --> 00:56:02,649
Huh?

1037
00:56:02,817 --> 00:56:03,817
The Pope.

1038
00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:07,322
That is brilliant.
I gotta jot that down.

1039
00:56:07,989 --> 00:56:11,493
You know that story about the guy
who has to push a boulder up a hill?

1040
00:56:11,701 --> 00:56:13,787
Every time it gets to the top
it rolls back down

1041
00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:15,705
and he has to start all over again.

1042
00:56:16,456 --> 00:56:18,249
That's what talking to you is like.

1043
00:56:19,376 --> 00:56:20,293
Thank you.

1044
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,504
So, you're saying I'm like Sisyphus?

1045
00:56:23,213 --> 00:56:24,547
Oh, my God!

1046
00:56:25,006 --> 00:56:27,217
You have a lot of nerve
showing up here with him!

1047
00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:28,634
Okay.

1048
00:56:30,595 --> 00:56:33,848
- What are you talking about?
- You know exactly what I'm talking about.

1049
00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:36,559
- I heard about your little date.
- It was just coffee.

1050
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:40,313
Please, to quote the great
George Costanza, "Coffee is not coffee,"

1051
00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,524
coffee is sex.

1052
00:56:42,690 --> 00:56:44,025
Coffee is better than sex.

1053
00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:46,611
Especially from the rare Kopi Luwak bean.

1054
00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:49,864
You think you're so much better than me,
Celia?

1055
00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:51,828
Better than everyone here,
but I know the truth.

1056
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,576
You're nothing but a hypocrite.

1057
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:54,994
A fake.

1058
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:58,415
- Hold on a second.
- So you stomp around in those boots,

1059
00:56:58,498 --> 00:57:01,084
and you act so tough,
but that's all it is.

1060
00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:04,087
- It's just an act.
- Brooks, please don't do this.

1061
00:57:04,170 --> 00:57:06,840
A defense mechanism,
see it's a poor attempt

1062
00:57:07,215 --> 00:57:08,591
at pushing people away.

1063
00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,969
You're afraid that if somebody
got too close to you,

1064
00:57:11,052 --> 00:57:13,452
they might actually find out the truth.
That Celia Lieberman,

1065
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:15,931
she's boring.

1066
00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:20,520
You wanna push me away?
Go ahead, cos we're through, baby.

1067
00:57:20,603 --> 00:57:22,021
We are done, we are...

1068
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:27,068
How's that for a defense mechanism?

1069
00:57:29,863 --> 00:57:31,573
God, I hate these shoes.

1070
00:57:32,949 --> 00:57:33,949
Celia.

1071
00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:39,205
Celia! My dung beetle.

1072
00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:00,476
Brooks.

1073
00:58:03,354 --> 00:58:06,191
- Hey, are you good?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

1074
00:58:06,357 --> 00:58:10,361
Uh, physically I'm fine,
but emotionally I'm...

1075
00:58:10,570 --> 00:58:11,570
a wreck.

1076
00:58:11,613 --> 00:58:14,782
I hate to admit it,
but I kind of saw this one coming.

1077
00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:17,368
I mean, those two were being
really chummy at my party.

1078
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:20,205
Yeah, well I can be oblivious sometimes.

1079
00:58:20,288 --> 00:58:22,081
Thank you for rubbing that in.

1080
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:47,732
- So, here's a question.
- Yes, whatever it is, yes.

1081
00:58:49,984 --> 00:58:51,486
Will you go to formal with me?

1082
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:58,576
I mean, do I have to speak or can you
read my alarming fast heart rate? Yes.

1083
00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,544
Hold on, you guys have another formal?
How many does your school have?

1084
00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:10,046
As many that are needed
to fund the new stables.

1085
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:15,385
Murph, you will never believe what
happened to me. Shelby kissed me.

1086
00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:20,014
Oh, dude, congrats.
I always knew you could do it.

1087
00:59:20,765 --> 00:59:23,434
- Who's Shelby?
- Toby, why are you here? Where's Murph?

1088
00:59:23,518 --> 00:59:25,728
- We switched shifts.
- Why? Is he sick?

1089
00:59:25,812 --> 00:59:28,439
I don't think so,
because it wasn't just for today.

1090
00:59:28,523 --> 00:59:30,567
It was for like the rest of the year.

1091
00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:33,570
- Did he say why?
- No.

1092
00:59:35,196 --> 00:59:39,951
Oh, yeah, you know what,
he did say that you were a selfish prick

1093
00:59:40,034 --> 00:59:43,037
and that you only think about yourself.

1094
00:59:44,831 --> 00:59:48,293
You don't think that has anything
to do with him switching shifts, do you?

1095
00:59:51,087 --> 00:59:53,590
I guess you think
this is pretty pathetic...

1096
00:59:54,465 --> 00:59:56,634
going for a walk with some old lady.

1097
00:59:57,427 --> 01:00:00,638
No, I feel like I actually needed this.

1098
01:00:01,472 --> 01:00:04,934
My granddaughter set this up.
I don't know the first thing about apps,

1099
01:00:05,727 --> 01:00:08,646
unless it's the Bloomin' Onion
at Outback Steakhouse.

1100
01:00:09,939 --> 01:00:11,691
- Now that's a good app.
- Mm-hm.

1101
01:00:13,401 --> 01:00:17,780
My husband and I did this every day
for the past 20 years.

1102
01:00:18,823 --> 01:00:22,118
- He passed away in June.
- I'm so sorry to hear that.

1103
01:00:22,201 --> 01:00:23,286
Oliver.

1104
01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:24,954
That was his name.

1105
01:00:26,664 --> 01:00:28,666
He was ugly as sin.

1106
01:00:29,834 --> 01:00:31,252
His face was weird.

1107
01:00:32,962 --> 01:00:36,966
He had the right sized face
on the wrong sized head.

1108
01:00:38,384 --> 01:00:40,303
Ol' smushy face,

1109
01:00:40,678 --> 01:00:41,971
that's what I called him.

1110
01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:43,848
That's real nice.

1111
01:00:44,974 --> 01:00:46,684
I didn't care what he looked like.

1112
01:00:47,894 --> 01:00:50,855
He made me laugh,
and I liked being around him.

1113
01:00:52,857 --> 01:00:55,652
You want to know how you can tell
if you're meant to be with someone?

1114
01:00:56,736 --> 01:00:58,488
- Please.
- It's simple.

1115
01:00:59,238 --> 01:01:01,282
Just sit and have a conversation.

1116
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:04,202
Some people when you talk to them,

1117
01:01:04,285 --> 01:01:06,913
it's like trying to listen to
classical music

1118
01:01:06,996 --> 01:01:08,623
on a radio with no antenna.

1119
01:01:08,873 --> 01:01:11,626
You can push that dial back and forth
all you want,

1120
01:01:11,709 --> 01:01:13,252
but you only get static.

1121
01:01:14,587 --> 01:01:17,215
But when you're meant to be
with someone,

1122
01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:19,717
and they truly are the one,

1123
01:01:21,010 --> 01:01:22,220
you just sit,

1124
01:01:22,303 --> 01:01:23,763
start talking,

1125
01:01:24,722 --> 01:01:27,183
and a Beethoven sonata
will begin to play.

1126
01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:03,302
You haven't mentioned the formal, Cel.
It's tomorrow night.

1127
01:02:03,803 --> 01:02:06,013
Do you get a cut of the ticket sales
or something?

1128
01:02:07,056 --> 01:02:09,767
- You are going, right?
- I am actually.

1129
01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:11,227
- With whom?
- Nobody.

1130
01:02:11,644 --> 01:02:12,854
I'm going whom-less.

1131
01:02:12,937 --> 01:02:14,230
What about Brooks?

1132
01:02:14,313 --> 01:02:17,316
I thought you guys were hanging out,

1133
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,235
to use the parlance of your time.

1134
01:02:19,318 --> 01:02:21,779
Dad, no. I don't want to go with anybody.

1135
01:02:22,321 --> 01:02:25,032
Not Brooks Rattigan, not Franklin Volley,
nobody.

1136
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:27,201
- Okay?
- Honey, listen...

1137
01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:28,536
No, Mom, can you listen?

1138
01:02:28,619 --> 01:02:32,540
I have the rest of my life to get hung up
on relationships and dating,

1139
01:02:32,623 --> 01:02:35,126
and "Is he really into me?",
and "What does this text mean?"

1140
01:02:35,209 --> 01:02:36,711
- And all that bullshit.
- Celia.

1141
01:02:36,794 --> 01:02:41,634
Why is high school the time of your life that
you're expected to be good at everything?

1142
01:02:41,674 --> 01:02:44,010
I just wanna be whatever I am.

1143
01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:46,262
And I'm proud of that.

1144
01:02:47,013 --> 01:02:49,849
I just wanted you to have a better
high school experience than I had.

1145
01:02:51,642 --> 01:02:53,019
Here we go.

1146
01:02:53,102 --> 01:02:55,480
- Group hug.
- No, that's good.

1147
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:56,731
- Group hug.
- Please.

1148
01:02:56,814 --> 01:03:00,067
- Yep.
- Oh, do we have to? Stop.

1149
01:03:02,570 --> 01:03:03,905
Okay.

1150
01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:24,759
Wow.

1151
01:03:24,842 --> 01:03:27,094
You look incredible.

1152
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:28,387
Thanks.

1153
01:03:28,471 --> 01:03:31,933
It only took three stylists,
two hairdressers, one makeup artist,

1154
01:03:32,016 --> 01:03:35,186
Bioslimming active wrap,
two hours of pilates,

1155
01:03:35,269 --> 01:03:38,064
and like 12 pounds of moisturizer
to look this way.

1156
01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,191
Wow. I took a shower.

1157
01:03:41,275 --> 01:03:43,945
Hold on, wait, chivalry is not dead.

1158
01:03:44,904 --> 01:03:46,948
- All right.
- Thank you.

1159
01:03:47,573 --> 01:03:48,573
You're welcome.

1160
01:03:50,201 --> 01:03:51,494
What's that smell?

1161
01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:12,390
We ordered our tuna crudo,
like, ten minutes ago.

1162
01:04:13,766 --> 01:04:15,142
Yeah, it was a while ago.

1163
01:04:19,647 --> 01:04:23,109
So, Shelby, do you have any plans
for after high school?

1164
01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:25,611
I don't know, it's tough.

1165
01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:28,406
I don't, like, have my whole life
planned out or anything.

1166
01:04:28,489 --> 01:04:30,658
- Yeah, nobody does.
- Exactly.

1167
01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,369
So, in the fall,
I'll be going to Columbia,

1168
01:04:33,452 --> 01:04:35,580
where I'll major in applied economics
in management

1169
01:04:35,663 --> 01:04:36,998
with a concentration in finance,

1170
01:04:37,081 --> 01:04:40,626
and of course, I'll intern at my father's
hedge fund over the summers.

1171
01:04:41,043 --> 01:04:43,629
Then, it's off to Harvard Business School,
where I'll get my MBA.

1172
01:04:44,589 --> 01:04:46,757
I'll graduate, get some seed money

1173
01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:49,135
and then open up
my own private equity firm, but...

1174
01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:52,179
after that,
it's all kind of up in the air.

1175
01:04:52,847 --> 01:04:55,016
You really have to get
your shit together, huh?

1176
01:04:55,099 --> 01:04:56,434
Right, yeah.

1177
01:04:58,102 --> 01:05:01,102
- Yeah.
- How about you?

1178
01:05:01,772 --> 01:05:03,274
- Me?
- Yeah.

1179
01:05:04,358 --> 01:05:05,818
Well, I'm applying to Yale,

1180
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:07,653
and then I'll...

1181
01:05:12,408 --> 01:05:15,536
Well, I've been obsessing over just

1182
01:05:15,953 --> 01:05:19,832
applying for so long, that I haven't even
thought about what I would do if I got in.

1183
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,168
- Seriously?
- Yeah.

1184
01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:25,546
Yeah, but I'm 18.

1185
01:05:26,047 --> 01:05:30,176
I got time to figure out who I am
and what I want to do.

1186
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:32,845
You know what I mean?

1187
01:05:34,305 --> 01:05:35,305
No.

1188
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:44,023
Here you go. Have a nice night.

1189
01:05:52,156 --> 01:05:53,849
- Oh, no.
- What?

1190
01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:55,725
It's your ex.

1191
01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:58,746
Is this gonna be weird for you?

1192
01:05:58,829 --> 01:06:01,832
I mean, I personally don't care at all,
but maybe you should?

1193
01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:03,125
No, it's fine.

1194
01:06:05,336 --> 01:06:07,922
Wow, she's a really bad dancer.

1195
01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:16,847
Yeah, she's the worst.

1196
01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:21,852
So, you wanna go get a table or...?

1197
01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:23,771
- Yeah, sure.
- Brooks?

1198
01:06:25,022 --> 01:06:25,940
It is you.

1199
01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:27,817
Leah, hi. What are you doing here?

1200
01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:30,695
I go here.
Look, I just really wanted to thank you,

1201
01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:33,531
you really helped me out a lot.
If I hadn't used your services,

1202
01:06:33,614 --> 01:06:35,783
I wouldn't have been able
to get with Larry, here.

1203
01:06:35,866 --> 01:06:38,744
- Hi, I'm Larry.
- It's nice to meet you, Larry.

1204
01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:40,579
- Do you want to get that table?
- Uh...

1205
01:06:40,663 --> 01:06:43,624
Wait, what do you mean,
you used his services?

1206
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:47,253
- This table right here.
- His Stand-In app, Brooks for hire.

1207
01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:49,547
Isn't that what you're doing, Shelby?

1208
01:06:51,215 --> 01:06:54,927
Am I... am I paying somebody
to go out with me?

1209
01:06:55,469 --> 01:06:57,221
God, no. Gross.

1210
01:06:58,180 --> 01:06:59,390
- Brooks?
- Yeah?

1211
01:07:00,224 --> 01:07:02,059
What the hell is going on here?

1212
01:07:05,604 --> 01:07:06,604
I have a side...

1213
01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:09,525
business, where I go on dates with girls.

1214
01:07:11,318 --> 01:07:12,318
Why?

1215
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:15,823
Wait.

1216
01:07:15,906 --> 01:07:19,118
You're not like a male prostitute
or anything, right?

1217
01:07:19,201 --> 01:07:20,578
Like, what is it?

1218
01:07:20,953 --> 01:07:21,871
A male gigolo?

1219
01:07:21,954 --> 01:07:24,274
Well, all gigolos are males,
but not all males are gigolos.

1220
01:07:24,623 --> 01:07:25,623
Gee...

1221
01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:29,336
No, it's clean and innocent.
I swear, it's...

1222
01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:35,217
I do it because I need the money.
Shelby, I'm not rich. I'm not from Darien.

1223
01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:40,181
I'm just some poor kid from Bridgeport,
who wanted to impress you.

1224
01:07:41,348 --> 01:07:43,100
I mean, look at you, you are smart,

1225
01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:46,937
and strong and beautiful,
and you are way too good for me.

1226
01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:49,814
You're right.

1227
01:07:50,691 --> 01:07:51,942
I am too good for you,

1228
01:07:52,526 --> 01:07:54,695
and not because
I have more money than you,

1229
01:07:55,529 --> 01:07:56,989
it's because I'm not a liar.

1230
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:27,353
Hi.

1231
01:08:28,877 --> 01:08:30,377
Hey.

1232
01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:34,443
Where is your date?

1233
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,780
She is elsewhere.

1234
01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:41,200
I told her everything.

1235
01:08:43,953 --> 01:08:44,995
Where's Franklin?

1236
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:48,082
Oh, you know, he's somewhere.

1237
01:08:48,916 --> 01:08:51,794
Probably making sure no-one ever wants
to be an artist again.

1238
01:08:54,755 --> 01:08:56,799
- You guys didn't work out?
- No.

1239
01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:00,344
No, we didn't.
You know, he's not really my type.

1240
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:04,390
Turns out I'm more into oblivious,

1241
01:09:04,849 --> 01:09:07,518
self-absorbed pricks, you know.

1242
01:09:10,604 --> 01:09:11,604
Right.

1243
01:09:14,692 --> 01:09:15,692
Well, then,

1244
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,155
would you like to dance?

1245
01:09:27,371 --> 01:09:28,371
No.

1246
01:09:28,873 --> 01:09:29,873
No, I wouldn't.

1247
01:09:30,624 --> 01:09:31,624
Why not?

1248
01:09:32,751 --> 01:09:34,170
Because I'm not your backup.

1249
01:09:50,311 --> 01:09:51,604
You're home early.

1250
01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:54,480
Yeah.

1251
01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:58,276
Yeah.

1252
01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:02,072
Tonight didn't really go quite
as I thought it would.

1253
01:10:02,323 --> 01:10:03,323
I'm sorry, kid.

1254
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,038
You wanna lay it on me?

1255
01:10:17,713 --> 01:10:18,881
I've been a stand-in.

1256
01:10:20,132 --> 01:10:21,132
I see.

1257
01:10:21,550 --> 01:10:24,595
And what do those two words mean
in this context?

1258
01:10:26,138 --> 01:10:28,557
Well, I started a dating service app.

1259
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:30,142
- What?
- Yeah.

1260
01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:31,226
I was the date,

1261
01:10:31,477 --> 01:10:32,311
the stand-in.

1262
01:10:32,394 --> 01:10:34,688
I've raised quite the entrepreneur, huh?

1263
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,982
I mean, it was more just really...

1264
01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:40,361
school dances, and um...

1265
01:10:40,694 --> 01:10:43,113
art show openings. I went to a rodeo.

1266
01:10:43,197 --> 01:10:44,907
Oh, yeah, the cowboy outfit.

1267
01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:46,992
- You saw that?
- Sure did, pardner.

1268
01:10:48,577 --> 01:10:51,705
Damn, Brooks, you did all that
just to raise money for Yale?

1269
01:10:53,749 --> 01:10:57,169
I'd have sold a non-vital organ,
if I'd known it meant that much to you.

1270
01:10:57,628 --> 01:10:59,713
There's a reason God gave us two kidneys.

1271
01:10:59,797 --> 01:11:03,175
That spare kidney is just a rainy day
cash cow, sitting there.

1272
01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:07,096
It wasn't really just for the money.

1273
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:09,974
I went out on all these dates

1274
01:11:10,057 --> 01:11:14,228
and pretended to be whatever it was
that these girls wanted me to be,

1275
01:11:14,311 --> 01:11:16,272
because, I don't know, I thought that...

1276
01:11:16,772 --> 01:11:21,485
I thought that maybe I would find out
who I am, and Miss Track...

1277
01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:24,947
quite cruelly pointed out that
I have absolutely no idea who I am.

1278
01:11:25,030 --> 01:11:26,323
Anyway, it didn't work.

1279
01:11:26,407 --> 01:11:28,993
Yeah, well who the hell knows
who they are anyway.

1280
01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:32,037
We are all just figuring it out
as we go along.

1281
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:33,831
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1282
01:11:34,373 --> 01:11:35,958
So, the best you can do is

1283
01:11:36,417 --> 01:11:38,711
reflect on who you were in the past

1284
01:11:38,794 --> 01:11:41,422
and compare that to
who you wanna be in the future,

1285
01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:44,466
and you split the difference.
That's who you are now.

1286
01:11:45,718 --> 01:11:47,469
Like, I was a success,

1287
01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,014
and I wanna be a success again.

1288
01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:52,975
And I was a good husband,

1289
01:11:53,934 --> 01:11:55,352
until your mom left us.

1290
01:11:55,936 --> 01:11:56,979
She left me,

1291
01:11:57,896 --> 01:12:00,816
but you know what I didn't fail at?
Is being a good dad.

1292
01:12:01,984 --> 01:12:03,861
Because of who you turned out to be.

1293
01:12:04,945 --> 01:12:07,781
I know sometimes
you think I gave up and...

1294
01:12:09,533 --> 01:12:11,243
yeah, maybe there's some truth in that.

1295
01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:15,289
But I never gave up on you.

1296
01:12:16,957 --> 01:12:17,957
I love you, bud.

1297
01:12:21,253 --> 01:12:23,613
- I love you too, Dad.
- I know.

1298
01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:03,587
Bro, that's why he's here, isn't it?

1299
01:13:03,670 --> 01:13:05,047
Anyway, let's go get a sub.

1300
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:10,928
- I'll be back.
- Cool.

1301
01:13:16,558 --> 01:13:18,560
Not used to you being alone.

1302
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,563
Yeah, well, I've successfully
pushed everyone else away, so...

1303
01:13:23,690 --> 01:13:26,693
It occurred to me that
I never would have been able to get

1304
01:13:26,777 --> 01:13:29,029
the Stand-In off the ground,
if it wasn't for you.

1305
01:13:29,696 --> 01:13:31,532
And then once
I finally got it to take off,

1306
01:13:31,615 --> 01:13:33,992
I shoved you out of the plane,
so I am sorry.

1307
01:13:34,493 --> 01:13:35,994
It's not that big a deal, man.

1308
01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:37,746
Uh...

1309
01:13:37,830 --> 01:13:40,791
I have an emotional parachute
that I've been weaving together,

1310
01:13:40,874 --> 01:13:42,584
every day I've been alive.

1311
01:13:43,293 --> 01:13:44,628
But how goes that Yale essay?

1312
01:13:45,129 --> 01:13:46,129
It's paused.

1313
01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:49,258
I'm not the best judge of my words
or my actions right now.

1314
01:13:50,801 --> 01:13:52,094
How's tuna melt?

1315
01:13:52,177 --> 01:13:53,512
He came back to the shop,

1316
01:13:53,971 --> 01:13:57,391
so, good, I guess?
Or, at the very least, not really bad.

1317
01:13:57,474 --> 01:14:01,019
He's not coming in
for middle of the road sandwich cuisine.

1318
01:14:01,103 --> 01:14:02,563
I get it, you're intimidated,

1319
01:14:02,646 --> 01:14:05,649
he's taller, he's stronger,
he's obviously better looking than you.

1320
01:14:06,150 --> 01:14:09,403
But you are the smart one,
so you have got to make the first move.

1321
01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:16,910
So, I guess, let's both do better
at what we have to do.

1322
01:14:16,994 --> 01:14:17,994
Huh?

1323
01:14:18,203 --> 01:14:19,037
Yeah.

1324
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:20,414
Huh?

1325
01:14:21,165 --> 01:14:22,833
- All right.
- All right.

1326
01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:30,799
Watch this.

1327
01:14:30,883 --> 01:14:34,052
Hey, Rattigan, dude, I heard
what happened with you and my cousin,

1328
01:14:34,136 --> 01:14:36,263
and if it makes you feel any better,

1329
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:38,432
I'll let you take my car for the weekend.

1330
01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:41,310
- No, I'm good.
- Just kidding, I'm not...

1331
01:14:41,685 --> 01:14:44,188
- What?
- I said, "I'm good." Thanks though, Reece.

1332
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:47,232
- Really?
- Yeah.

1333
01:14:47,858 --> 01:14:48,859
It's just a car.

1334
01:14:50,194 --> 01:14:52,404
Look, if you ever need
someone to talk to, I'm here.

1335
01:14:53,113 --> 01:14:56,158
Okay, I know it can be rough
when your parents go through a divorce.

1336
01:14:56,617 --> 01:14:58,577
It makes you act differently, so....

1337
01:14:59,578 --> 01:15:01,163
Uh, what?

1338
01:15:55,842 --> 01:15:56,885
Hey, Celia.

1339
01:15:57,886 --> 01:15:58,886
Hey.

1340
01:16:00,722 --> 01:16:02,599
Thank you for saying yes to this.

1341
01:16:02,683 --> 01:16:04,601
Can I get you something, a coffee, or...?

1342
01:16:04,977 --> 01:16:06,770
I don't know, I have a Pour Over.

1343
01:16:06,853 --> 01:16:08,855
Franklin was right,
they're kind of divine.

1344
01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:10,691
Oh, God, no. No, thank you.

1345
01:16:13,443 --> 01:16:15,070
So, how have you been?

1346
01:16:16,196 --> 01:16:17,196
Good.

1347
01:16:17,364 --> 01:16:18,699
I'm good. I'm really good.

1348
01:16:19,950 --> 01:16:20,950
That's good.

1349
01:16:21,368 --> 01:16:22,368
Um-hmm.

1350
01:16:25,622 --> 01:16:26,873
Well, I killed the app.

1351
01:16:27,457 --> 01:16:28,667
Oh, that right?

1352
01:16:29,543 --> 01:16:32,337
Well, in the spirit of honesty,
which is kind of my new thing,

1353
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,132
I haven't quite been able to bring myself
to delete it,

1354
01:16:35,215 --> 01:16:37,551
but I have denied all the requests
that are coming in.

1355
01:16:38,051 --> 01:16:39,928
And the women of the world weep.

1356
01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:43,807
Not really. There's a couple of copycat
apps that have popped up.

1357
01:16:44,057 --> 01:16:46,977
The market is getting saturated.
I got out of the game at a good time.

1358
01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,271
- Good.
- Yeah.

1359
01:16:53,775 --> 01:16:56,320
- It's nice to see you. I miss you.
- Brooks.

1360
01:16:57,487 --> 01:17:00,115
Please, just don't, okay?

1361
01:17:02,367 --> 01:17:04,494
Hey, am I gonna read the admissions letter
or what?

1362
01:17:04,578 --> 01:17:05,704
Yes, sorry.

1363
01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:08,165
I hope you didn't waste
too much time on it,

1364
01:17:08,248 --> 01:17:10,542
because based on your meeting
with the Dean,

1365
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:13,337
you could have drawn a picture of a bee
and gotten in.

1366
01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:15,672
I actually didn't apply to Yale.

1367
01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:19,134
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, I accepted UCONN's offer.

1368
01:17:21,511 --> 01:17:22,511
Uh...

1369
01:17:23,055 --> 01:17:27,100
Hold on, I thought Yale
was everything to you.

1370
01:17:27,184 --> 01:17:28,184
It was.

1371
01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:30,687
It was and then I realized

1372
01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:33,357
that if I have to pretend
to be someone else to get in,

1373
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:35,942
then I probably don't belong there.

1374
01:17:36,026 --> 01:17:37,026
You know?

1375
01:17:43,450 --> 01:17:44,534
Brooks, what is this?

1376
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:54,628
<i>Dear Admissions Office
of the University of Celia Lieberman,</i>

1377
01:17:54,711 --> 01:17:56,797
<i>First off, I just want to say
what an honor it is</i>

1378
01:17:56,880 --> 01:18:00,258
<i>just to be considered as a potential
attendee at your fine institution.</i>

1379
01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:03,595
<i>And secondly,
this feels really creepy writing to you</i>

1380
01:18:03,679 --> 01:18:06,640
<i>as if you're a university
and not a person, so I'll stop that now.</i>

1381
01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:10,560
<i>A few months ago, I was a guy
who carried around this empty feeling.</i>

1382
01:18:10,811 --> 01:18:12,938
<i>Then, I thought that it could be filled by</i>

1383
01:18:13,021 --> 01:18:14,314
<i>driving the nicest car,</i>

1384
01:18:15,357 --> 01:18:19,361
<i>dating the most popular girl,
or going to the fanciest school.</i>

1385
01:18:20,112 --> 01:18:22,114
<i>But the closer I got to having
any of these things,</i>

1386
01:18:22,197 --> 01:18:23,907
<i>the deeper that empty feeling got.</i>

1387
01:18:24,616 --> 01:18:27,160
<i>I've been so many people
these past few months.</i>

1388
01:18:28,286 --> 01:18:31,456
<i>A cowboy, an art connoisseur,
an amateur beekeeper,</i>

1389
01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:33,875
<i>a prep school wannabe, a bad friend,</i>

1390
01:18:33,959 --> 01:18:37,212
<i>an obnoxious son
and a self-obsessed prick.</i>

1391
01:18:37,295 --> 01:18:39,423
<i>But through it all
there were little pockets of air</i>

1392
01:18:39,506 --> 01:18:41,591
<i>when I felt like I was truly myself,</i>

1393
01:18:42,509 --> 01:18:44,302
<i>and that was when I was with you.</i>

1394
01:18:52,644 --> 01:18:55,272
<i>I don't know if you're accepting
applications right now,</i>

1395
01:18:55,355 --> 01:18:58,442
<i>but if not,
I am totally willing to be wait-listed.</i>

1396
01:19:04,781 --> 01:19:05,782
Hey.

1397
01:19:06,491 --> 01:19:08,785
I was gonna cook a steak, do you want one?

1398
01:19:08,869 --> 01:19:10,370
- No, thanks.
- Are you sure?

1399
01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:12,289
- Yeah, I'm good.
<i>- </i>All right.

1400
01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:16,417
Hey...

1401
01:19:16,835 --> 01:19:19,337
you actually got some mail.
I put it on the table.

1402
01:19:20,797 --> 01:19:21,797
Oh, boy.

1403
01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:25,051
Just what I need.
It's probably another rejection letter.

1404
01:19:27,220 --> 01:19:28,138
This is...

1405
01:19:28,221 --> 01:19:30,098
It must be one of the grants
I applied for,

1406
01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:31,641
the Visionary Writing Award.

1407
01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:35,437
Dear Mr. Rattigan, in recognition
of your unparalleled literary talent,

1408
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:39,483
we would like to offer you this grant to
further your career as a visionary writer.

1409
01:19:39,566 --> 01:19:42,903
- That's incredible, Dad.
- Yeah! That's how we do it!

1410
01:19:43,987 --> 01:19:46,156
Steak night. Boom!

1411
01:20:23,193 --> 01:20:24,903
I shouldn't have slapped you.

1412
01:20:25,028 --> 01:20:27,781
I mean, it felt great for me,

1413
01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:29,699
but I shouldn't have slapped you.

1414
01:20:30,242 --> 01:20:34,788
- No, I think I deserved it.
- Yeah, you did.

1415
01:20:35,413 --> 01:20:36,915
And, you know, I'd do it again.

1416
01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:39,835
But I'd really like to not have to.

1417
01:20:41,378 --> 01:20:42,963
So, are you ready to go?

1418
01:20:44,339 --> 01:20:45,173
Go where?

1419
01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:47,634
Our date. I'm taking you to the formal.

1420
01:20:47,717 --> 01:20:50,595
Another formal?
How expensive are horse stables?

1421
01:20:50,679 --> 01:20:52,097
It's just a shed over an animal.

1422
01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:55,642
No, I'm not going to another formal
for as long as I live.

1423
01:20:55,725 --> 01:20:59,271
Come on, I'm not taking no for an answer
and you know how stubborn I can be.

1424
01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:01,898
I do know that.

1425
01:21:04,442 --> 01:21:05,694
- Fine.
- Good answer.

1426
01:21:05,777 --> 01:21:09,239
But wait, you left literally
all the fields blank on the app, so

1427
01:21:09,322 --> 01:21:12,325
what kind of personality
would you like for your date?

1428
01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:14,202
There were so many good ones.

1429
01:21:14,995 --> 01:21:17,998
But I think
I'm gonna go with regular old

1430
01:21:18,081 --> 01:21:21,501
no-frills,
vanilla ice cream Brooks Rattigan.

1431
01:21:23,920 --> 01:21:25,380
I think I can make that happen.

1432
01:21:34,764 --> 01:21:35,764
Ooh!

1433
01:21:39,477 --> 01:21:40,562
Thanks, I got that.

1434
01:21:40,645 --> 01:21:42,814
- Nice of you to dress up.
- Yeah.

1435
01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:45,442
I just... I do what she tells me to do.

1436
01:21:45,525 --> 01:21:46,568
- Um-hmm.
- Um-hmm.

1437
01:21:46,651 --> 01:21:48,111
Hey, what's up?

1438
01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:49,904
Murph.

1439
01:21:50,864 --> 01:21:52,449
- This is incredible.
- I know.

1440
01:21:53,158 --> 01:21:55,619
I can't take all the credit,
the whole thing was Celia's idea,

1441
01:21:56,077 --> 01:21:57,996
and tuna melt is a whiz with décor.

1442
01:21:59,247 --> 01:22:00,247
What's his real name?

1443
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:03,919
Oh, my God, you don't know.

1444
01:22:04,002 --> 01:22:05,629
How do you not know his name?

1445
01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:09,174
I keep hoping it will come up naturally
and it never does.

1446
01:22:09,257 --> 01:22:11,551
And I can't ask him now, I'm in too deep.

1447
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:17,057
Look, I know it's early, but if you're
in need of a roommate next year...

1448
01:22:18,183 --> 01:22:19,183
No.

1449
01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:21,311
- Wait, you're going to UCONN?
- I am.

1450
01:22:21,394 --> 01:22:24,189
I didn't think they'd accept me,
considering my GPA is a bit iffy,

1451
01:22:24,272 --> 01:22:26,733
but I showed them some of my apps,
and they were impressed.

1452
01:22:26,816 --> 01:22:28,976
Who told you the Stand-In
would be good for both of us?

1453
01:22:29,027 --> 01:22:30,654
Not the Stand-In, they hated it.

1454
01:22:30,737 --> 01:22:31,571
- What?
- They hated it.

1455
01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:33,156
They liked MyTraxx,

1456
01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:36,117
and I tweaked it to be applicable
for student loans.

1457
01:22:36,326 --> 01:22:38,578
You know, which makes me a genius.

1458
01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:42,040
- Congratulations, man.
- Hey, Murph, help me with this table.

1459
01:22:42,540 --> 01:22:43,540
Got it, uh...

1460
01:22:43,875 --> 01:22:44,875
man.

1461
01:22:46,503 --> 01:22:50,548
Hey, I can bear this wait no longer,
you've gotta tell me.

1462
01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:52,592
Did I get in?

1463
01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:54,386
Hmm.

1464
01:22:54,469 --> 01:22:55,595
It was a tough call.

1465
01:22:56,262 --> 01:22:59,849
I mean, your essay was littered
with sentence fragments and run-ons,

1466
01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:02,143
like, seriously, but,

1467
01:23:02,602 --> 01:23:04,479
after careful consideration,

1468
01:23:05,689 --> 01:23:09,776
the Admissions Board of the University
of Celia Lieberman

1469
01:23:09,859 --> 01:23:12,487
is pleased to inform you
that, yes, you are accepted.

1470
01:23:14,656 --> 01:23:16,908
- Come on!
- Hey, don't get too excited.

1471
01:23:16,992 --> 01:23:21,162
You are on a probationary basis, okay?
Like, one semester at a time.

1472
01:23:21,246 --> 01:23:23,164
Okay. Well, I'll take what I can get.

1473
01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:27,210
So, I mean, what are you gonna do
to celebrate this acceptance?

1474
01:23:27,293 --> 01:23:29,462
There are a few things
that I'd like to do.

1475
01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:31,047
Oh, inform me. What?

1476
01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:32,882
Well, one,

1477
01:23:33,508 --> 01:23:35,135
I really wanna do this.

1478
01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:44,810
And two,

1479
01:23:46,146 --> 01:23:47,397
I wanna do that again.

1480
01:24:00,535 --> 01:24:01,535
And three,

1481
01:24:02,829 --> 01:24:04,039
I want to dance.

1482
01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:07,834
Oh, you think you can keep up with me?

1483
01:24:07,917 --> 01:24:09,461
Well, I'd like to try.

1484
01:24:17,927 --> 01:24:19,054
Whoa!

1485
01:24:23,850 --> 01:24:24,850
Yes, Murph.

1486
01:24:25,769 --> 01:24:26,811
Hello, Celia.

1486
01:24:27,305 --> 01:25:27,776
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