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Hello, I am Julius Caesar, leader of Rome.
Thanks to my strategic prowess, I've won wars.
I'm so full of myself.
And one day, Julius Caesar met...
Yes, it's me, Diana, I'm one cool chick.
I'm so pretty, smart and perfect.
Caesar fell in love with Diana cos she's awesome, obviously.
She fell in love with him cos... who knows?
And they ended up...
You get it...
The thing grown-ups do when they...
So, Diana got pregnant and they had a kid. And he got sick.
Caesar got the disease. And he became sterile.
That'll teach him. Caesar resented the kid
and wasn't very nice to him. But the kid grew up, and all was well.
He had a pretty sweet life and was very happy.
- Is that you? - Well, yeah.
He's muscly and you're not.
I'm not muscly?
You should take a closer look, little guy, cos it's kinda obvious.
- So, why do you live here? - Cos it's nice.
There are no neighbours, it's comfy.
I love it.
- Not saying hi to your dad? - I can't.
I'm off to a jam-pot party.
So, I'm gonna stay behind and get ready and...
The return of Julius Caesar.
And he has a gift for Rome.
On your knees.
On your knees!
No.
On your knees.
I,
Julius Caesar,
declare the official capture of Vercingetorix,
the black bull,
the man who tried to unite the Gauls against me.
And he got royally screwed over.
The Gauls are more divided than ever
and my legionaries will be done with them in a few days.
- We're untouchable! - Excuse me, Caesar, a question.
Oh, Gaius, you know I don't like it when people cut me off.
Technically, we're not untouchable, we have to guard our borders.
And, technically, I'll have to make you shut up.
It's a shame, you're a good comrade.
No, but...
- To the dungeon. - I wasn't criticising...
I was trying to help. Caesar!
I didn't say anything. Caesar?
OK, now, hold on, guys.
I'm not exactly asking for much, am I?
Just do as I say
and don't interrupt me. It's really not that hard.
But...
No, I...
I thought you were done talking.
I might have added a little something at the end.
It's an allergy, it's not contagious.
- It's the pollen. - OK, off you go. Bye.
It happens every year...
We'll talk this evening.
Hello. I'm Brutus.
That's crap.
Hi, pleased to meet you.
What about you? What do you do?
That's fucking lame.
- Good evening. - Good evening.
Is this the jam-pot party?
- Huh? - Rufus invited me to a jam-pot party.
Plot. A plan-a-plot party.
No, I'm pretty sure he said "jam pot".
- Not possible. - I know what I heard.
What else did he say?
That it was a secret.
That it was forbidden.
That it was dangerous.
And to bring a spoon.
- He didn't say that. - No, he didn't.
Gather round, thank you.
To start, Rufus and myself
would like to thank you for coming.
We're growing in numbers and think it's time to act.
Quickly.
This can't go on, my friends.
Friends?
- Did he say friends? Are we all friends? - The future is dark.
He's no longer a guide, he's a tyrant.
Yes, yes, yes.
No one feels safe. True or false?
True, true.
Yes, that's true.
So, are we going to continue like this? No.
No.
- I don't feel like it. - Of course, you'll say:
"He has the world's largest army", but there is one spot
- where he's vulnerable. - His carotid.
We've all got a weak spot there. So...
- He must have it too. - No.
- No? - No, it's the Senate.
We're not allowed to enter the Senate with weapons, so...
he's vulnerable in the Senate.
More than his carotid?
- Rufus? - Yes?
Can we talk?
This is ridiculous. Where did you find him?
It's Brutus, Caesar's son.
You've lost it.
I said that Brutus was Caesar's son
not that Caesar was Brutus's father.
Who is Caesar to you?
He's my dad.
But when Caesar calls you, does he...
call you his son?
No, he calls me "that one".
Where's that one? What does that one want?
That's why you want him dead.
Huh? Not at all.
Hold on, why are you here, then?
Wait, you guys want to kill Caesar?
It's a plan-a-plot party.
You said jam pot.
No, I never said jam pot.
I remember it well, I have great hearing.
I said jam-a-plot!
Well, you should enunciate...
Besides, who does jam-pot parties?
People do fondue parties, pancake parties, why not jam-pot ones?
Look, I want to be friends with you
because I really liked the vibes in there.
Very feng shui and unifying. But I don't want to kill Caesar.
You've left us with no choice.
- We've made a decision. - This is ridiculous.
He knows too much. Let's just kill him.
Think about it, Cassius, think of the symbolism.
- I don't care about that. - No, you do care.
You want the people to support us.
And if his own son strikes first, it'll have more of an impact.
We should be the first to do it.
The first to do it will be killed.
Symbolism is indeed important.
He has no family, no friends, no one will miss him.
He's the ideal martyr.
All those in favour?
Do you understand? We can't run the risk of you warning him.
We'll release you once we've killed Caesar.
He's the enemy, not you.
Wasn't he supposed to kill him with us?
Cassius, do you remember
the first time we saw Caesar?
When he came to the Senate?
He was so brave!
He looked the Senate straight in the eye and said,
"Every Roman is part of Rome.
When you kill a Roman, you hurt Rome."
He's really changed, he's become a monster.
We're doing this for the people.
That's why you'll have to help us, Brutus.
Brutus?
Come on, Brutus.
Come back.
Reveal yourself, we were just joking.
We can't find him.
We're dead.
- If he tells him... - We have no choice.
Caesar must be killed today.
You need to start doing things yourself
rather than always running to the great Caesar.
OK?
Do I, Julius Caesar, come to you when I'm hungry or thirsty?
No. Because I'm self-sufficient. OK?
You're going to have to figure it out for yourself.
- OK, next. - Caesar, I have to talk to you.
- What did you call me? - Caesar?
And what should you call me?
- Dad? - Emperor!
- Emperor? - Dad...
- You said "dad". - No, I didn't.
He said "dad", didn't he?
- I said "Emperor". - Enough already.
Impregnating your mum doesn't make me your dad.
Right, Antonia?
Hey! Why are you doing it so hard?
You want me to get a cold?
- Sorry, I was just trying to... - Hold on.
- You want me to fall ill, right? - No.
Yes, that's it.
- You want to kill me! - No!
Unbelievable. After everything I've done for you.
I fed you, housed you.
I treated you like my own daughter.
- What's your name? - Albana.
- If I see you one more time... - Caesar?
What are you doing?
You signalled that you wanted a fruit plate.
You're the dumbest one here.
This is madness.
This is the sign for fruit. Not this.
How could you confuse the two?
That's it, you win. Guard!
Unbelievable.
- Go on, piss off. - But...
Take them to the dungeon. We'll kill them tomorrow.
They're part of Rome.
I'm Rome.
What did you want to tell me?
- Nothing. - Then, clear off, out of my sight.
Next.
I'm in.
Excuse me, I'm here. I've come back.
You say you will, but you won't.
Excuse me. Excuse me, I...
I'm on your side. I'm in.
You made the right choice, Brutus.
Aren't the others here?
No, because they're...
- They're busy. - They have to wash their hair.
School's out.
Did they chicken out?
Yes.
We'll do it at the start of the session, it's busier.
You'll have the honour of striking first.
You'll show up out of nowhere and stab him.
Can I shout something?
When I stab him, can I shout something out?
Something that'll go down in history, like:
"Freedom!" and then I'll...
No, don't shout out anything.
This is a team effort, not a one-man mission, OK?
Just show up and stab him.
Brutus.
I'm sorry.
You saved Rome.
My son.
Fine by me.
Cassius?
You saved Rome.
Fine by me.
Right, is everyone clear?
How about shouting a little something?
Enough already, stop pushing it.
Friends, let's go make history.
Freed...
This is a misunderstanding. I was just making a snack,
- there's no need to... - Shut up!
I was just...
I treated you like my own son.
Actually, no, you've never treated me like your son.
Which is weird since I am your son.
We're still waiting on the tests.
What's my name?
- That one. - That's the nickname you gave me.
The term of endearment I gave you.
You know nothing about me.
I know that you're a traitor and that you'll die.
- You're going to kill me? - No one cared when you were alive,
so, dead...
Farewell, that one.
Leave.
Go away.
I don't want to see you in Rome again.
Don't look back. Get lost.
When will you get that nobody loves you here?
You're not welcome here.
Are you going to kill me?
It's us, Cassius and Rufus.
No...
I know a Rufus, but he's not a guard.
So... And I've never heard of a Cassius.
Is he having a laugh?
Right. Brutus, it's us!
Rufus, have you come to help me?
Nice to meet you.
Go to the southern gate.
- One of our men is there. - Then what?
Start a new life. There's nothing for you here.
And Caesar?
Since your little fall, no one can get close to him.
You remind me of someone.
It's me. Do you recognise me like this?
Brutus, you must leave Rome asap.
But I don't want to leave Rome.
You know what your crazy father has in store for you?
He wants to sacrifice you tomorrow. So, it's up to you:
a life yonder or death here.
- Oh, that was good. - Wow.
That was...
Beautiful. I... Wow.
That was deep. Powerful.
It just came to me.
- You've used that one before. - No.
- Flee, you poor fool! - OK.
- Cassius. - Rufus.
We're officials.
Thank you.
I know that this isn't your style,
but we can fit up to 2,000 people here. Can you believe that?
Who are those people?
They're potential buyers.
But if you want, you can can take half of it for yourselves.
Caesar, whenever you're ready.
I have a surprise for you, people of Rome.
Bring out the sacrificial lambs.
Die!
Why the hell is he there?
Oh, my people, my dear Rome.
Today, I have for you
the sacrifice of slaves
who have betrayed me, disappointed me,
or betrayed and/or disappointed me.
Today, these attackists...
- Are you not Caesar's son? - No.
Not at all. Not in the slightest.
- Really? - No.
- What's your name? - Brutus... Fructus.
Fructus. Gusbulz.
Feel free to give it a like.
Fructulgluz?
The Z is half Roman and half Turkish.
Nice to meet you, Fructus. Spartacus.
I will always tend to your comfort,
beauty and your spending power.
At least we'll die together, brother.
Great...
And now...
let the sacrifices begin!
- We're in for it. - Yeah.
You're standing?
Oh, uh, yeah.
- You've been able to walk all this time? - It must be a miracle.
A miracle? I'll show you a fucking miracle!
Run, Fructus, run.
I don't know how to run.
I don't want to trip over.
One man against all of them.
Such bravery.
Go on, go on.
You're inspiring, Fructus.
- So, you survived... - Get back here!
Stop. I told you to stop!
So, you survived my gladiators. Bravo.
Right, you!
You're free.
We can't tell who you mean.
You, the strong one.
You're free.
You deserve it, comrade. Bravo.
He was talking to you.
Really?
It was an honour.
You, the girl.
Albana.
You're free.
Thank you.
As for you,
oh great warrior,
who survived without even lifting a finger...
who injected his strength and passion into others,
- I'd like to let you leave, but... - Yes?
Wouldn't you rather have that man defending the empire?
- No... - Flooring our enemies?
And becoming our hero?
Nope, not even a little bit.
Put your arms down. We want freedom like the others.
We'd rather have that.
With great power
comes great responsibility.
I've decided to send you
to a place where your bravery will be most needed.
To Gaul.
Help our army beat those savage Gauls.
Caesar, please, not Gaul.
A few years ago,
I was captured in a battle.
- What about you? - Me?
I was born a slave like my parents, my grandparents,
my uncles, my aunts, my nephews. Well, everyone.
Right, well, safe trip.
Sorry, that's not really my thing.
I'm not the touchy-feely kind.
- No offence. - I'm not either, just as well.
- Take care. - Ciao.
What are you going to do now that you're free?
Go home.
I have a debt to settle.
That's good, a debt to settle.
I have no debts.
What am I gonna do now?
As a slave, you have no soul, so you can't understand what I'm saying.
- I do understand. - No. You think you can,
but your brain can't.
- I understood the whole thing. - No, no.
Why?
Because your brain can't digest it
because of your slave molecules.
Says who?
Enough. If I say you can't, you can't.
Now, don't hang about, slave.
Are you happy with him?
Ecstatic. As you can see, he's a real hoot.
OK.
Oh, come on, of course I'm miserable.
Have you ever seen a happy slave?
What a complete idiot.
- Who? Are you talking to me? - No.
- What would Fructus do? - Let's go.
What do you want? Go on, move.
See? He doesn't understand.
He has no soul.
See? He doesn't.
We can't go through at the same time. You have to step aside.
Free her.
- Free her? - Free her?
I think he wants you to free up the space.
No, no.
Her. Free her.
- Can that be done? - No, it can't.
Stop. Let me go, let me go. That hurts!
- What? - Tell him to let me go.
I don't understand what you're saying.
I have no soul so I can't grasp words.
Dear, oh, dear.
Fine, I'll free her.
- Albana! - That kind of hurt.
I know what I'm going to do now!
Here. Another round.
Here, clean this.
Don't be angry at them.
They're just frustrated.
They've been here for a long time. They like to heckle the newbies.
It's so violent out there.
So, we end up being like that in here.
The worst thing is not seeing your family.
Don't you miss yours?
I don't have a family.
We all have one, that's the reason we're here.
To defend them.
So those barbarians don't invade us.
Aren't we the ones invading them?
So that those barbarians don't invade us.
So, you really don't have a family?
Yes, one person.
- Did you live together? - No.
But we were very close.
Know that you've got two people now.
You and I, we're brothers, OK?
Brothers?
Tell the others that if they still tease you.
- Fall in! - Hold on, brother, as in...
As in brothers? Wait up, brother!
- You mean like real brothers? - Yes.
Because a brother is more than a friend.
- A brother is for life. - For life.
OK.
I've just found out that a Gallic village was going to attack us.
So, you're going to go and attack them first. OK?
Yes! Which village?
Uh, well, one of those villages.
It's not that complicated, leave,
go in any direction, and when you see a village,
then that's the one.
When are they planning to attack us?
Soon.
I dunno. Between 10 am... 2 pm...
Definitely before snack time.
- We should get going, then. - Yeah. Go on.
See you tomorrow, guys. We'll be with you.
Yeah, go on, guys.
They're fucked.
What do you mean they're fucked?
Don't worry, they know.
We all pretend.
That way it doesn't bring down the morale around here.
No, they're coming back.
Of course they are.
What?
Can you believe it? A brand new toga!
He mixed up white and red.
He's ten. That's old enough to know what white and red is.
- Of course. What did you do? - Gave him ten lashes.
No, with the toga?
- I threw it away. - How annoying.
Caesar sees me as one of his brothers.
That's Vercingetorix.
- You're the Gallic chieftain. - No, I'm not.
Yes. I recognise you.
No, I'm not. Ladies...
Go get something to eat. I'll meet you inside. Bye.
- What exactly do you want? - An explanation.
Fine, if I tell you, will you drop it?
Caesar never actually beat me.
Gaul is divided, if we joined forces we'd be too dangerous.
Caesar knows that. He purposely lost some battles against me.
Suddenly, I became the hero and that's when he "captured" me.
Why did you agree to that?
Have you seen the women around here?
I'm in Rome, I'm in a palace, I've got money.
I mean, come on.
OK, bye. Oh, by the way...
Vercingetorix is dead. It's Versus now, OK?
Coming, ladies. Coming.
Open the gate!
Claudius, what's the lowdown?
There were many more of us.
As usual.
And they beat us.
As usual.
We tried, but...
How many did you kill?
We injured two.
I would've liked to do more.
The quicker we beat these villages, the quicker we can go home, guys.
Bear that in mind.
Go see the medic.
Rest up, you'll be fine. Brutus, compresses.
Honestly, I didn't think you'd come back.
- I get it. Nobody did. - Someone did.
He did.
Well, he's my bro.
Right.
Excuse me, what are you doing?
I'm cutting off his arm. If it gets infected, he could die.
Relax, I'm ambidextrous.
All you need are some eucalyptus leaves to soothe it.
I know a bit about botany.
- It isn't too tight, is it? - No.
Leave it be now and it should be better in a few days.
It'll heal itself.
We should talk to Centurion Decimus.
He should transfer you to the infirmary.
- Don't you think that's shameful? - That you saved my arm? Sure it is.
My dad was ashamed that I couldn't fight
and that I preferred wood and plants.
Your dad's clueless.
If he were a soldier, he'd know that your insight is invaluable.
He is a soldier.
He's a rookie, then. A chief would know that.
He is a chief.
What kind of chief?
- A chief-chief. - Higher than a centurion?
- Like? - Like Caesar.
Don't tell anyone. I don't want them to hate me.
You can trust me.
No, Brutus, not like that. Let me do it.
- What? - Let me do it.
- But it's my turn. - No, it's mine.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.
Let me do that, Brutus.
Enjoy, Brutus.
Is that for me? Really?
Want some?
- No. - Take some.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
- Medicus? - Yes, please.
Go!
Go on, Brutus!
Foul!
No, he's playing ball.
Go on, get up.
There we go. Go on, Brutus.
Foul, foul!
- Really? - Yes.
Foul.
- Blah blah. - Blah blah.
- Blah.
Penalty.
Are you sure I should take the shot?
So close!
- I wasn't far off. - No...
Go, Brutus!
Come on, Brutus.
Now, that's what I call skill!
- My dear Brutus, are you good? - Yes, thanks, Centurion.
And thanks to everyone because everyone's so nice to me.
- I wasn't expecting that. - Of course we are.
Because we're a...?
Garrison?
A family.
Let your dad know that we're taking good care of you.
Get him to send us backup.
That won't be easy, he hates me.
- Sorry? - He hates me.
Because I tried to kill him.
That's why he sent me here.
What, is there a problem?
You took advantage of us.
Not at all! I thought you were just naturally kind.
A naturally kind Roman army?
You tried to kill Caesar!
If you put it like that... But there's more to it.
It made me realise that killing isn't my thing.
We kept you at the camp and away from the Gauls.
I cut your toenails!
And I thanked you.
Don't worry, Brutus, we're not mad at you.
- Yes, we are. - It's bloody sarcasm.
Don't worry, Brutus, we're not mad at you.
If I'm not mistaken, you've never done patrolling, have you?
Uh, no.
Well, the time has come!
- He'll get killed. - Who gives a shit?
- He has no weapons. - Not my problem.
As payback, you can keep your sticks!
Go hit yourself with them!
Hey, Brutus?
Good luck.
Guys...
I made a move, it's your turn.
Are you upset?
- Was I a little hard on him? - You could always pardon him.
They'll think I'm weak.
Or that you're fair.
Bring him back.
What would I do without you?
Oh, there he is, he's back.
Where were you, my little munchkin? I was a meanie to you.
Because you wee-weed on your daddy's bed.
But daddy's happy to see you again.
Look at what daddy's playing.
And look at what daddy's going to do.
Checkmate. I won again.
See how good daddy is when you're around?
High five.
- Was the food the same as usual? - Mm-hm.
I mean, it wasn't good, as usual.
It wasn't any less good this evening.
Exactly.
- What's this aftertaste? - Guilt, my friend.
And the dessert was pretty gross too.
- Are you joking? - It's still his son.
If he ever pardons him, he would want him to be alive.
- And he'd owe you one. - He's the one who sent him here.
And there's not much to do here other than kill or be killed.
I agree with you, Centurion.
Isn't Caesar known for being impulsive?
I wonder who he'd be angry at if his son were dead?
Come on, get your arses in gear!
Hurry the fuck up.
Find him for me. Look everywhere:
in the trees, under the bushes, boulders.
What's with your helmet?
Get searching and find him for me!
Fuck.
Are you Roman?
No.
I hate Romans.
OK.
A good Roman is a dead Roman.
- OK. - What's your name?
- Brutus. - Brutus what?
When you introduce yourself, you give your name and parents' names.
Efna Epona Alorix.
I'm Alorix.
A Roman-killer, it's a family tradition.
And she's my daughter.
Coria Efna Vercingetorix.
Oh, you're the wife of...
Got it now? Your turn.
Brutus...
Diana...
You won't like this.
Go on.
Julius Caesar.
What's Caesar's son doing in Gaul? Preparing an attack? Scouting?
It's my punishment for trying to kill him.
- What? - No way.
OK, I'm done. That's enough.
Is this how you welcome all Romans?
Seriously? Have you not looked around here?
But I'm not dead.
Not yet!
- What? - Nothing. We might have the wrong guy.
- What do you mean? - You know my philosophy:
- A good Roman...? - Is a dead Roman.
We haven't killed you cos she's been spreading the word.
- Who's "she"? - Albana.
- You saved her, right? - Albana?
- That doesn't seem likely. - Albana remembers me?
She said she'd drink the blood of whoever harmed you.
Are you touched?
And disgusted. That can't be good for the gut.
But that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
Then, tell her that.
- I've missed you so much. - What's she doing?
- It's good to see you again. - I saw her two days ago.
- What's got into you? - This is how we say hi.
Since when? Who approved that?
- All good? - It's you! Why are you here?
You asked us to keep him here.
Who's hungry? I'm hungry. You hungry? Let's eat.
- Are you sure? - Certain.
What a traitor.
And to think I let him save my arm.
I regret it so much now.
We send him to die nobly and he's with the enemy.
What should we do? Attack?
Definitely not.
That idiot's going to make us win the war.
Checkmate.
I win again!
You're a force to be reckoned with.
I don't even know the rules.
Ah, Caesar.
What's he doing here?
- Wasn't he supposed to disappear? - Yes.
- What do you want? - Just a few quarters.
- He wants to be quartered? - I think he means money.
I did think that was a strange request.
- Caesar has given you a year's worth. - Yeah, OK.
You know what it's like. A charge here, a tax there.
Some withholding tax as well,
those unexpected direct debits.
And then you're skint.
Get out of my sight if you don't want to be quartered.
I don't know which village is betraying us, but we must stay alert.
Watch, listen.
As soon as you have any information, come straight to me.
Is that clear?
My friend and I cut contact for two years.
You know how we made up? A jam-pot party.
- You do jam-pot parties here? - All the time.
I mean, people do fondue parties, pancake parties,
why not jam-pot parties?
Exactly.
Sorry. Excuse me, please.
I have an important announcement.
I found out that according to traditional law,
when a Gaul is in danger
and a non-Gaul saves her life,
the Gaul must marry the non-Gaul.
- What law is that? - Therefore, I have to marry Brutus.
- Enjoy your meal. - What the hell?
Dad, I hope you didn't vote for such a primitive law.
- I don't know about it! - What do you mean?
I don't want you to get into trouble, you don't have to marry me.
- Yes, I do. - No, you don't. I'm the leader here.
I'm scrapping that misogynistic law.
No! You can't.
Traditions are important.
I've never heard about this one.
Well?
- Do we have to get married? - What did you say?
- Do we have to get married or not? - No.
No, you don't have to. Actually, yes, it is mandatory.
I hadn't read that part.
Oh, poor thing.
And you have to propose soon.
- That's what's written here too. - Really? When?
Um, within the next month.
Within the next week!
Four days?
It's mandatory.
She doesn't really have a choice. She'll accept, but...
she has to.
Hold on.
I missed a section.
"When the proposal has been made,
the bride has the right to accept or decline."
It said the opposite before.
Even if it said the opposite before."
Good. She'll be able to say no, then.
That's good.
But...
Would you...
like her to say yes?
I don't know.
Do you like Albana?
A bit.
What do you like about her?
She's beautiful, kind. She's brave.
She smells nice.
- What don't you like? - She likes fighting and drinks blood.
So what?
That's disgusting.
I've noticed hygiene isn't your thing.
Hygi... what?
Exactly. That's the problem.
Do you know what you'll say to her?
When you ask a woman for her hand, there's a ritual.
What ritual? I'm not into drinking weird stuff.
No, it's very simple.
You get down on one knee,
tell her what you own, who you are,
and what you plan to do.
No blood?
No blood.
- What the hell are we doing here? - Brutus must've died in Gaul.
We have to find another symbol.
And Spartacus would be perfect.
Right, you think this is clean.
Now that you're free, you've got to give it your all.
Yes, it's my bracelet,
but you leave your mark when you clean it
and then it becomes our bracelet.
So, get back to it. Go on.
You must be Erell.
Hand it over.
Give it here.
Come on.
Does everyone pay to talk to him?
Yes, it's for the cause, for the group...
The community... which allows for...
OK, go ahead. He's waiting.
You killed your masters and fled with their clothes. Smart.
No, not at all.
We're senators.
I think settlers are really cool.
He's even worse than "that one".
No, Spartacus, we're senators.
But we're like you. We're Caesar's slaves.
- Help us kill him. - Why would I do that?
Don't you have slaves too?
Yes, but we have a deep respect for human rights.
You don't have slaves?
- No. - Yes.
That's not what they are. We have colleagues.
Exactly.
Colleagues who help us with our daily tasks.
Do you pay them?
- No. - Yes.
We do pay them.
What are you talking about? They are well paid.
We pay well above the average of what other slaves earn.
- The other slaves earn nothing. - Exactly.
That's right.
I'll check. And if you've lied to me...
Let's get one thing straight:
us former slaves don't kill for our glory,
but for our freedom!
Freedom! Freedom!
He's good.
He is.
He is, he's good.
I wanted to...
I haven't had the chance to thank you
for telling all the villages to...
to protect me. You saved my life.
- Of course I did. - What?
I saw you against the gladiators.
I think there's been a misunderstanding.
- What you thought you saw... - Stop. You're too humble.
There's something about you, you unite people.
People love you.
Efna.
She really likes you and she hates all Romans.
That's when...
you fuck them up. Got it?
You need to be ready at any age to defend yourself.
Why does she hate Romans?
Vercingetorix.
Oh, yeah, right.
Vercingetorix was really something. All of the Romans were scared of him.
I know that we'll meet again.
- Do you know where he is? - He's dead.
But...
I'll see him again at the Boulder of the Brave.
What's that?
The souls of our legendary warriors lay to rest there.
By the way, I spoke to Alorix and I have to ask you to marry me.
But you're allowed to decline.
Oh, right. OK.
Did Alorix tell you that?
So, there you go.
So, I wanted to...
I, Brutus,
own a bit of land on the outskirts of Rome.
- Why are you talking about Rome? - That's where I live.
- Wait, are you not staying here? - Well, no.
- But you can't go back. - Why?
Because I don't want...
I thought you wanted to stay to fight your dad together.
- I'm not a Gaul. - You could be if we got married.
- We could... - No, sorry, I can't.
No, I have to go back to Rome.
You were sleeping rough, Brutus.
- What's holding you back? - Rome's better than Gaul.
Everything's better there. You saw that.
But I was a slave.
I'd rather be a slave in Rome than free here.
I was tossed from master to master, from house to house.
- If you hadn't been heroic back there... - I wasn't heroic.
I don't even know how to fight.
I know that! I know you didn't fight.
You gave us hope.
I wish I'd never seen this side of you. You're right, go back to Rome.
Hold on.
Why don't you just say no?
You can turn down my proposal.
Albana?
Do you want to marry me?
He said that to you?
You're right, cut him out.
In a way, I get it.
He thinks we're savages.
But what if I showed him that we're kind and sophisticated?
Yeah, you do that. Show them that we're sophisticated.
What's the problem?
The problem is that I've got someone holding me back both here and there.
Ah, a foot in Rome and a foot in Gaul.
Exactly.
Mind your arse, the Alps separate the two.
Wait, this one will make you laugh.
An Ostrogoth and a Visigoth walk into a grocery...
Why are we going along with this nonsense?
Would you rather die or do your own laundry?
One! We could've at least kept one.
Then what would we have said to Spartacus?
I'm anti-slavery, but hate stains?
You're a nice guy, throw in the wheelbarrow.
But not in the chimney!
Not funny to you?
Yes, but you already told us that one.
- It's never as funny the second time. - Of course.
No, but I laughed.
- I laughed, right? - He did.
He really did, we heard him.
I thought it was hilarious, Caesar.
Look! Wait, Caesar, I'll give you names!
I know
who organised the attack on you...
Whoa, enough.
You didn't laugh, so, just own up to it.
This is a place of work, have a little respect!
Right?
So, when you meet in the evening...
- drink this during dinner. - This thing?
That way, if she poisons you, you'll be fine.
Sorry? I thought I heard you say "poison".
I told you she'd accept, not that she wouldn't try to kill you.
It'll completely neutralise the poison.
And then one hour later...
I drink this.
That?
- OK. - Yeah, because it helps me...
I don't get it.
Oh, OK...
Got it.
That's pretty awkward. I'm going, Alorix. It was a pleasure.
See you later.
Excuse me, oh Caesar.
Who's that?
Centurion Decimus. I've fought for you in Gaul for many years.
- Always with pride and... - Yeah, great.
I came to tell you today
that doubt has been cast among our troops
ever since your son Brutus joined the enemy.
Sorry, Caesar, but we saw it.
That one.
He lives with them, dresses like them.
He eats with them.
It even appears that he's become very close to a certain Gaul.
Your future grandchildren are very likely to have Gaul blood.
You will go back to Gaul,
and you will kill that traitor.
- Take 2,000 men. - We don't have them.
- What do you mean? - That was your doing.
Our army's off conquering the world.
Can we do 1,500?
They're guarding borders.
Well...
I'll give you what I can.
Let's go.
Where?
To go get Brutus.
Did you two talk?
So, you haven't decided?
No, I can't.
The only question you should ask yourself, son,
is which of those two people makes you happier.
He's not coming back.
- I know. - Then why are you here?
- To be sure that he doesn't come back. - Every day?
You know, I'm not Roman.
- What are you, then? - Armenian.
You're Armenian?
So, you know how to fight?
Why are you a medic? Join us on the battlefield.
Knowing how to fight doesn't mean you like it.
Back home, if you're not a killer, you're not a man.
It's true, you Armenians are savages.
No more than you are.
But you beat us, so I had to make a choice.
Join your army or die.
What did you choose?
Think, Claudius.
Oh, yeah, duh.
I wear the colours of Rome, and don't belong,
but I least I don't kill anyone here.
I treat them.
So, I belong.
Well, he belongs with us.
I'm Claudius, Brutus's brother.
And I'm Albana, his wife.
You know, I've thought about it and agree.
Let's go live in Rome.
Show me this wonderful city.
You'll see, Rome is awesome.
I have loads of friends who...
who...
Actually, I have no friends.
It's nice being there because that's all I know.
And if I've never been able to leave,
it's because...
But...
But now, I'd rather be with you.
Anywhere, as long as it's with you.
Really?
Yes.
If you agree to marry me...
I'll stay here.
- I, Brutus, own... - Wait. Save it for later.
I'm thirsty.
- Want some water? - I have something better.
It's our finest wine.
- Here. - OK.
You want me to drink, is that it?
I know that you have good wine in Rome, but we can be sophisticated too.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
- Are you not OK? - Yes, I'm great.
- Are you sure? - Yes, of course.
What's wrong?
We have this small ritual in Rome
where before we taste a new wine,
we have to say a prayer.
So, I'm going to say a little prayer.
My little prayer...
for the wine.
And then,
we'll let the prayer get right in there.
There. And now, we can drink.
There we go.
- You don't want it? - I do.
I'm savouring it.
It starts in the mind. Let's go on three.
1, 2, 3.
I drank it.
- Did you like it? - I did.
What about you? Are you still angry?
- No. - OK.
Great.
I've got this thing.
- I have to go do stuff. - What?
- Stuff. - What?
See you later.
No, wait, you've got it all wrong.
For fuck's sake, Alorix!
Sorry.
It's not your fault.
The good news is that you're staying.
But I'm not killing any Romans.
Nor anyone for that matter.
Don't worry, there's still time.
We'll see.
No, we won't. I'm not killing anyone. Period.
Even in self-defence?
Even in self-defence.
- If it were an accident? - There won't be any.
- Choking in the woods? - Not that either.
- A little stranglehold? - Forget about it.
There's still time.
Up.
There's your advance. Caesar has a mission for you.
What do I have to do?
Kill them all.
Down to the very last Gaul.
So, you're the Gaul specialist?
Funny. I've met the centurions that were sent here
and I've never seen you.
I infiltrated the Gauls to help capture Vercingetorix.
- No? - Yes.
You've met him?
Yes, I knew him well.
But the Gauls mustn't see me, they might recognise me.
Of course, as long as you help us kill them.
We helped him get a foot on the ladder.
- We go way back! - Exactly. Take it easy.
Oh, look!
- Do you know them? - Yes, I do.
- What are you doing here? - Time's running out, let's go.
- Where? - To Rome, to finish the job.
I don't feel like it anymore.
Well, if he doesn't feel like it anymore...
You felt like it when you were shouting "freedom".
You weren't a team player.
No, you went and did your own thing and that...
- That pisses me off. - Brutus.
Everyone's talking about you in Rome.
Not everyone.
A tiny minority is.
Caesar's not doing OK.
- Really? - Really.
Your disciple, Spartacus, is hurting him.
- My disciple? - Yes, he says that you inspired him.
OK, but this whole thing is...
This whole thing has made you a symbol.
That's the whole thing.
We'll hide you in Rome and finish what we started:
kill Caesar.
- You can say it out loud here. - I'd rather not.
- Hey, guys. - Yeah?
- They want to kill Caesar. - OK.
Well...
We're very proud and you can count on us.
Let's go.
What's wrong? Why don't you want to come back?
I'm getting married.
To a Gaul?
You wanna end up like Vercingetorix?
Now we know that he has allies in the Senate.
I'll wait for you here.
Let's wipe them out.
Hold on.
Caesar doesn't want anyone dead.
Are you sure? Doesn't he want them dead?
No, he needs slaves.
An army is approaching.
Hold on.
We can talk about this!
Onward!
Take Brutus.
Come on!
There's a smell. What's that smell?
What does it smell of?
Could that be the smell of victory?
It smells like we're going back to Rome!
Right, Versus?
Where's Versus? Versus?
Come on, my friend, come say hi. This is all thanks to you.
No, I'm busy right now. Maybe later.
As you wish.
As you wish, my friend.
What's going on here? No more applause?
Come on!
Are you Claudius?
How do you know?
You're the only Roman who's sulking.
Are you worried about your brother?
Don't worry, he's fine.
- Where are the others? - Captured.
- Albana? - Fuck her.
She's the reason those two led them to us!
OK, let's calm down.
- We're on the same side. - Which side? Gaul or Roman?
- Kill him, Efna! - OK, cool it.
This doesn't even concern us.
We're toast now.
Aren't you sick of this?
There are five of us left and you're still squabbling?
- It's not our fault. - Of course it is!
It's been your fault since the start!
If you want Caesar dead, then kill him
yourselves.
- They're right, Efna. - They're Romans.
- So are you! - That's not all we are.
I'm marrying a Gaul.
I was a puppeteer.
Legionary.
And soon-to-be Roman-killer.
- Not at all. - Just a little...
Caesar's to blame.
He's not just being obeyed by Romans.
I know, one of our villages betrayed us.
It wasn't one of your villages.
It was your husband.
Her husband?
- I can see why he took off. - Cut it out.
He's in Rome, alive and kicking.
Efna, I... I...
can't imagine what you're going through.
But he left.
We can't bring him back.
But Coria, she...
Your daughter's still here and so is your village.
You have to save them.
What can you do for us?
You want to fight but not kill the enemy?
It's all about choosing the right weapon.
"Sending you my love.
Enjoy this last beautiful day in Gaul
which is shaping up to be glorious."
One lone man.
A Gaul.
A Gaul?
He's armed!
I only know one Gaul who would do that, but he's dead.
- What's wrong? - Vercingetorix!
It's Vercingetorix!
It's Gaul witchcraft. We're screwed.
It's his spirit.
He's come to save us.
He's coming! He's coming!
What the hell is going on?
Vercingetorix.
He's really close!
Move... Move!
- What should we do? - Let them go. He'll leave us alone.
Get up.
Don't free anyone!
- You trying to get us killed? - It's not him!
- What do you know? - Shut it. I need to think.
He's coming. Let's not get killed for some Gauls.
Calm down. We're safe in the camp. If we leave, we're vulnerable.
That's ridiculous.
Everyone, after him! I'm the one in charge!
Get your fighting gear on!
Helmet, armour!
What the hell am I doing?
- He's going to charge. - What shall we do?
Albana!
I, Brutus, own nothing.
I don't know what I am nor what tomorrow will bring.
But I know I want you by my side.
Will you...?
They hate us.
This is going to be a long ride.
Give them time, Cassius.
Go on, budge up.
- Wanna add something? - What's that?
A little something I invented: a nest egg for the couple.
Everyone can add what they want: money, jewellery, dresses...
I don't have anything. Sorry.
It's just to give them a leg up and give them more...
more freedom.
More freedom?
I'll go find something.
Great. Thanks.
If you wouldn't mind...
We can't...
We can't see very much, sir.
Thank you all for being here.
Friends, we're gathered here today to celebrate
two events:
the first is the creation of a Gaul coalition.
Flag! Flag! Flag!
Hold on, there's a protocol.
From now on, our four flags will be made up of just one.
Curtain!
But... Who did...?
Right, last,
but not least,
is the wedding of our two dear children:
Brutus and Albana.
So, please, before we bring them out...
Hold on, hold on.
- You came in too early. - But you called us over.
- Didn't he call us over? - Yes, but...
OK, well, they're here now,
may they have many children and may just as many Romans die.
There you go.
We'll start the ceremony, but stick to tradition.
Long live the couple!
Hold on, you've come in too early.
Not just yet!
And now the doves...
No, you ruin everything!
Freedom to the doves!
What's up?
Let's go open the last cage.
So, this is it?
- You finally decided to kill me? - Why would I do that?
You're just a messenger. You're going to go see my dad.
You have no father, you have no family.
You have no homeland, you have no honour.
Caesar will make your life a misery until his last breath.
Then he'll have to die.
You think that you, of all people, will kill Caesar?
I don't want to kill Caesar.
I want to kill Rome!
Kill Rome?
Antonia,
gather all the troops,
we're going to Gaul.
- Why did you say that? - I don't know.
You were supposed to tell him to leave us alone.
We leave Rome, Rome leaves us. That was the message.
I know, but he provoked me. It sounded good at the time.
Honestly, I know Caesar.
He's a busy man, he won't even notice us.
- We're screwed. - We're royally screwed.
Subtitles: ECLAIR